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#this is the most tumblr thing i've ever typed out i need to go to sleep
heartshapedracetrack · 3 months
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So what if Visa Cash App rb formula 1 team and Stake f1 kick sauber fall in love and create a baby what then????
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chaoticloving · 1 year
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idk if you write smut so if you’re uncomfortable totally ignore this!!! but!!! imagine y/n and recently fiance!harry and him fingering you with his ring finger talking abt marriage and shit 🫣🫣
future husband
Harry styles x reader (masterlist)
summary: Harry proposes and it leads to sex
warnings: smut
a/n: IM SORRY THIS TOOK TOO LONG I JUST NEEDED TO BE IN THE RIGHT MOOD TO WRITE SMUT AND THEN TUMBLR DIDNT PUT IT IN THE TAGS AHHH
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Harry's ring obsession started when he was in his early twenties.
He rarely wore any type of a jewelry or anything flamboyant when he was younger. He painted his nails on occasion, something to relax himself with or whenever Y/n was doing hers, but nothing too grand.
But a simple silver chain given by his one and only changed that.
He started getting a little more into jewelry, necklaces, earrings, and his favorite, rings. He liked the intricate designs that rings ment; they could be loud and a stable piece, or they could be a subtle addition to the outfit.
They could also symbolize love.
After dating Y/n for three months, he knew he was certain that he wanted to stay forever with her, he just didn't allow himself to think of marriage this early into a relationship--at least not until his mother asked when he was going to propose after meeting her around their six-moth anniversary.
Finally though, after just under two years, he popped the question. He got a beautiful engagement ring, a band with beautiful engravings throughout, and of course, a huge fucking rock.
"Harry." Y/n sniffled, seeing Harry on his knee, ring in hand. "Of course, yes!"
A lovely proposal in a quiet and quant cottage away from civilization was perfect and exactly what they needed, not only for their privacy but for the ability to have sex in the middle of the woods. Harry bought this property not too long ago and waited for the right moment to take Y/n there, a proposal seemed like the best time.
The kissing of course led to more, how could it not? Harry was always a passionate lover, always eager to please, so it was honestly no surprise when the soft kiss turned more sensual.
"Fuck, I'm so glad you finally asked." Y/n mumbled softly as their lips kept touching, coming back for more. "Can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you as my husband."
Harry moved onto her neck, biting softly as he went down. "It's all I've ever wanted." He groaned as Y/n's hand trailed down to his pants, she teased him slightly, earning a moan from him. "And to please you again. Lay down."
Y/n made herself comfortable on the blue and white picnic blanket. Harry moved the basket and wine bottles out of the way. He pulled flipped her dress up, revealing her lacy set on panties.
"Planning to seduce me today?" He asked with a raised brow.
"I had a hunch you might be asking me to marry you." She shrugged her shoulders, biting her lip to hide, poorly, a cheeky smile.
"How?" Harry gasped, his fingers tracing the band of her underwear. "It was top secret!"
"Oh come on, H." She giggled, her hand coming up to stroke his cheek. "You take me on a surprise getaway, no one around, to a cottage that is darling... It's the most romantic thing you have ever done."
Harry blushed. The midday sun gleaming perfectly on his skin, twinkling his green eyes and highlighting the freckles that scattered his slightly tanned skin. Y/n couldn't help but feel so lucky. This beautiful man, inside and out, is now her fiancé; she started to tear up, which, of course, caused Harry to tear up as well.
"No don't start baby." She told him. "We need to focus so we can have sex. No tears now."
She wiped her tears then Harry's. "You started it." He mumbled, smiling as he finally pulled her panties down. "We just love each other too much."
"I guess so-" Y/n gasped as Harry entered a figure into her. The familiar feeling was welcomed as the subtle feeling of pleasure began to buble up inside of her. "Fuck that feels so good."
Harry was leaning half on and half off of her, his right hand fingering. her while his other held him up so he could kiss by her ear.
"Don't get one of your rings stuck in me." She warned, looking sternly at her love. Harry shook his head and kissed her softly.
"I would never."
Harry had on a simple band, one similar to the new one adorned on Y/n's finger. He figured while he was buying the engagement ring he could buy a matching one for himself.
"I can't wait to marry you." He spoke softly, creating a new hickey just under her ear lobe. "Gonna wanna fuck you again when I see you in that dress, don't know if I could wait till the honeymoon."
He added a finger, adding to the pleasure.
"And seeing you with that ring...It's going to be as sexy as your lingerie. Just knowing you're mine and I'm the only one that can ever see you like this."
"Fuck, H. Gonna come."
"I'm the only one who will get to see my wife like this. And everyone will know I can only to this do you...I'm the only one capable." Harry's words were possessive yet reassuring, the constant validation that he was the only one for her pushed her over the edge, leaving a gasp from her mouth.
"Har I need you inside." She yanked him fully on-top of her, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down after Harry quickly pulled his fingers out of her, but not before a little taste.
He helped her strip himself, knowing she is just as possessive as him but just doesn't always vocalize it, but her actions speak louder than her lack of words.
Harry entered Y/n, the euphoric feeling washing over him as he let out a loud moan, mentally thanking himself for buying the isolated land. "Feel so good."
"You stretch me out so much." She gasped. "My future husband."
Harry thrusted, a reflex from her words in her sexy, faint, voice. "Don't say that or else I'm going to come in less then a minute." He paused, staring into his loves eyes. "Want to impress my future wife."
"You impress me every day. Every time I see you I have something new I love about you." Y/n leaned in a kissed him, it was mainly teeth, but still perfect nonetheless. "Today it's your cock."
Harry stopped thrusting briefly. "You mean it hasn't impressed your before today?"
"It's the first time I've been impress by my fiancé's cock, I was already impressed when he was my boyfriend." She assured. Harry rolled his eyes and got back to thrusting, moving his ring finger down to her core and rubbing soft circles on her clit, making her jolt slightly.
"I'm gonna cum again, H."
"Me too."
They both moaned as they climaxed at the same time. Harry collapsed onto Y/n's chest, arms exhausted from keeping himself up. They stayed like that for no more then five minutes, Harry's cock softening inside of her as they relaxed.
"I can't believe you're going to be my wife." Harry thought out loud. "Never thought I'd work up the courage."
"Why? You knew I'd say yes."
"I dunno, just all the what-if's got inside my head. You know how that is." Harry mumbled, nuzzling his face into the side of her neck. He kissed over her blooming hickeys too, soft contrast between his sexual and romantic desire for her.
"Well your next biggest concern is finding were to go for our honeymoon." Y/n said. "Might have to go all over."
"I'll pay for every penny of it."
"Most defiantly. You know I have expensive taste." Y/n joked. "The wedding is going to cost half a fortune on its own."
Harry smiled, kissing her cheek then her lips. "I'd spend all the money in the world to make you happy. I'd go broke to see you smile."
"Stop, you're going to make me cry again." She whispered, tears starting to form.
"I'll just kiss them away, my love." He sighed. "It's my job as your future husband."
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thebibliosphere · 8 months
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I saw your post about ingram, and out of curiosity, is there some advantage to going through the whole self-publishing thing with retailers when you're just starting out? like I mean the way that fandom zines work is that they don't even bother going through ingram or amazon or whatever. they just set up a social media site (usually twitter) to gain followers, open preorders (usually 1-2 months in length) to generate the costs of printing upfront, and then sell anywhere from a few dozen to several hundred copies of their books (usually artbooks, but anthologies exist too). I've seen some zines generate over a thousand orders. they're kind of like pop-up shops, except for books. maybe the sales numbers aren't so impressive to a real author, but the profit generated is typically waaaay more than the $75+ apparently needed for Ingram Spark, so I still feel like new authors could benefit from this method too, especially if they just need some start-up cash to eventually move to ingram if they want to for subsequent runs of their book. I think authors would also have to set aside some of the pre-order money to buy an ISBN number to have printed on their book, and I'm not really sure what other differences there are, but I just wanted to ask about it in case there's some huge disadvantage I'm missing!
So, popup zines work well for some people, and I know some authors who kickstart their work successfully. But for a lot, it's just not feasible as a long-term stratedy. Or even as a means to get off the ground.
Fanzines succeed primarily because an existing fanbase is willing and ready to throw money at something they love. They’ve got a favorite writer or artist they want to support. Supporting all the others is just a happy by-product. They also take a HUGE amount of short-term but intense planning that just doesn’t always jive with how some of us work.
I, for one, would never offer to organize a fanzine. I’ll take part in them as a creator, but I’d rather throw myself off a cliff than subject myself to wrangling that many people and dealing with the legal logistics.
When it comes to authors doing anthologies, it'svery much the same. The success of the funding often hinges on having other big-name authors involved whose existing fans will prop up the project. Or having a huge marketing budget.
Most self-pub authors have zero marketing budget. I’m one of them, and I’m under no illusions that my work would not be as popular and self-sustaining as it is if I didn’t have a large Tumblr blog.
When I thank Tumblr in my forewards, I am utterly sincere. Tumblr brought fandom levels of enthusiasm to an unknown work and broke the Amazon algorithm so hard, that Amazon thought I was bot sniping my way to multiple #1 spots and froze my sales rankings.
That’s not the norm. And while I could probably kickstart my own work as an indie creator, that’s because I’ve put literal decades into building up a readership. I’ve been doing this since I was 16 and realized people thought I was funny. I didn’t know what to do with it or if I’d ever actually write anything, but it meant the groundwork was already there (thank you, past-me). I basically fell upward into my success by virtue of never being able to shut the fuck up and wanting to make people laugh. Clown instincts too strong.
New or first-time authors trying to sell their work without that will find it infinitely harder.
All of that aside, even if an unknown author somehow gets lucky and manages to fund their work, there’s still the question of shipping and distribution logistics. Are you shipping everything yourself? Better hope you’re able-bodied and have the time for it. (for reference, it took me months to ship out 300 patreon hardbacks because of my disabilites. It damaged my back and hands. I couldn’t type for several weeks after I was done.)
Are you going to sell primarily at conventions? Better hope you’re able-bodied, have the time and don’t have cripling anxiety about being in large groups...
Also, will selling a dozen to a few thousand copies in one burst be sustainable in the long run as a career? Not for me. Doing things via Ingram and Amazon means I earn a steady trickle of sales for the rest of my life provided the platforms remain and so long as I keep working and can generate interest in the series, not just when I have funds to pay for physical copies to sell. The one-time (in theory) cost of $75 to distribute through Ingram gets paid off pretty quick that way. And it doesn't require the same logistics as doing the popup/crowdfund.
Ultimately, it comes down to what you are capable of but also the type of work you’re doing. If you’ve got an extended network of fellow creatives who will back you or you’ve got a large following elsewhere, doing it like a popup might work for you.
If you’re an exhausted burnout who can’t fathom the short but intense amount of organization that sort of thing requires, not to mention doing it over and over and over... Ehhhhh. No thank you.
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aethelwyneleigh27 · 8 months
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Cod Characters General Dating Headcanons (part two)
+ Random and Some bits of Chubby Fem S/O Headcanons with mentions of different nationality S/O
+ What type of BF/GF they would be
Including Valeria Garza, Farah Karim, Kate Laswell, Alex Keller, Gary "Roach" Sanderson, Nikolai Belinski
+ Some Poly! Farah x Reader x Alex Headcanons
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Fem terms and pronouns like she/her are used for the reader
ꕥ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ꕥ
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My rules for requests and characters I can write for
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Please comment if you want to be added to the taglist, the next part or cod content alone. I also have content for TLOU and Resident Evil, so please specify.
Taglist: @marshmallowinamess
A/n: Hi lovelies! It's me again Lia, currently working on this one while I haven't even posted the other yet because I wanna post early and I love Valeria. Y'all don't got shit on me, I'm writing this shit while I'm in class AHAHAHA. Btw more Resident Evil content soon...
Disclaimers/warnings: Typical Cod things, OOC characters???, Unrealistic, Some suggestive themes and language, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me. Most of the content I've seen are on TikTok and Tumblr I don't actually play the game but I love the characters so much, same with any other content I have for other video games.
Tiny sidenote: the reader in this has been describe to be shorter than the characters and has been mentioned to have a soft body rather than the muscular type.
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Valeria Garza
ꕥ (Just saying, I'd let her step all over me)
ꕥ The El Sinombre falling in love? No shit she's... semi-normal??
ꕥ Black cat/Doberman girlfriend for sure. She's extremely protective and extremely terrifying when she wants to be. Scary dog privilege if you get it. (Occasionally it's funny to imagine her as a Chihuahua)
ꕥ Dates all kinds of women, body type and other things don't matter to her because she doesn't have a type. If you catch her attention then that's that.
ꕥ Loves spoiling you in everyway possible, just sit pretty for her and she'll take care of everything. Doesn't give a shit on the amount of money she spends on you, you want it? You got it.
ꕥ Loves it when you need her, it's one of the ways she feels loved and appreciated. Would never say it out loud but loves it whenever you show her your appreciation by doing manual labor.
ꕥ The idea of you being her pretty little housewife is sending her to heaven.
ꕥ Spanish pet names galore, culture is something of importance to her so will definitely teach you Spanish if she had the time.
ꕥ Would be interested learning about your culture as well because if you're gonna know about hers then she ought to know what to call you in your language. (Definitely not self-indulgent because I'm Filipina and I know she'd pronounce it somewhat correctly)
ꕥ Doesn't ever let you know about her cartel business. You can never know and she will never allow you to get ever get involved. You're too precious to her and god forbid anything will happen to you, she will destroy the world if she had to.
ꕥ She's more of a masc lesbian, she's the type who likes to be in charge in a "I'm the one who wears the pants in the relationship" way. She's very dominant.
ꕥ Doesn't ever even consider to be submissive, with the amount of shit she's been through. She can be vulnerable with you but in no way, shape or form could you ever top.
ꕥ You're an escape from the life she knew, it was peaceful with you. At first she wasn't used to it, definitely has reoccurring thoughts of something going wrong. You dying, getting kidnapped, falling into the hands of her enemies so constant reassurance.
ꕥ Would absolutely kill for you, no hesitation. The literally definitely of "I would burn this world for you", would absolutely deny it but you know otherwise.
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Farah Karim
ꕥ Tabby cat coded girlfriend, she's down to earth and chill. She's that one neutral person everyone adores, she puts her best efforts into a relationship for sure.
ꕥ Has and will help you do your make-up all the time, doesn't matter whether you asked. She'll observe the specific way you do it and do it perfectly.
ꕥ Sweetest girlfriend ever, she has dominance tendencies but it's mainly because she's quite assertive and often makes the decisions. Can't help it, after all her field of work requires her to one up egotistic men.
ꕥ That being said, I think she's had some mild PTSD about how they treated her. Sure it made her tough and she didn't like to be bossed around (unlike angry Mexican man) but I like to think she keeps you out of it as much as possible.
ꕥ Chubby!Reader headcanon is that she literally would adore you, compliment anything and everything. Insecure? Not on her watch, she just makes you feel so loved.
ꕥ Most definitely has introduced you to Price (I feel like he's everyone's father figure except los vaqueros and characters he hasn't interacted with) and don't worry he's already looking after you as well.
ꕥ Poly! Farah x reader x Alex headcanons:
ꕥ You guys following whatever Farah says, towards relationship decisions anyway because you and Alex tend to be indecisive.
ꕥ Lot's of communication between the three of you even if it's just a small thing, consent is always key.
ꕥ Alex following his two wives around a lot, he's mostly behind you guys all the time.
ꕥ Farah is patient when it comes to a lot of things but especially you and Alex.
ꕥ You get head pats from both of them, Farah is in a more praising manner while Alex tends to be in a comforting manner.
ꕥ You cannot tell me these two won't be down to cuddle in any position because I know damn well they would be. More often it's just Alex wanting to be a little spoon.
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Alex Keller
ꕥ Golden Retriever boyfriend FOR REAL. This man is the type of man to kneel down and clasp the strap of your shoe or heel when he notices it.
ꕥ You know when you pick up something near a corner of a table or underneath it? He's the type of boyfriend to subconsciously cover the edge or corner of that table so that if your head bumps into it then it wouldn't be as painful or even at all.
ꕥ Having said the first one, he also guides your head whenever getting into a vehicle because god forbid you actually hurt yourself. Not on his watch.
ꕥ Understands why you're insecure and definitely offers a lot of verbal reassurance.
ꕥ Is the type of boyfriend to say "Yes Ma'am" when you ask him to do something, doesn't matter whether it's a small thing or labor intensive. It's kinda become your guys' thing now since people take notice on it.
ꕥ Pouty kind of jealous? Not necessarily whiny but makes this sad upset face at you when jealous instead of something like Ghost or Valeria would do where they'd be glaring the person down jealous.
ꕥ Very thoughtful, he pays attention to what you want and what you need and knows the right timing.
ꕥ Forehead kiss giver, you cannot convince me this man doesn't love doing it. Especially when you're shorter than him, loves resting his chin on top of your head or burying his head in your neck.
ꕥ HATES seeing you uncomfortable, absolutely despises it. That's the last thing he wants you to feel when you're around him. Would understand if there's imminent danger around but it would literally being him back to life if you felt safe enough around him even if there was danger because you're confident in his capabilities to keep you safe.
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Kate Laswell
ꕥ (LOVE THIS WOMAN, SHE'S FOR THE GIRLS BECAUSE IT'S CANON. ARGUE WITH THE WALL)
ꕥ She only ever let the TF141 and Nikolai meet you because of course she trusts them enough.
ꕥ They were like "So you're the infamous wife of Laswell huh?"
ꕥ Even before you were married, Kate called you her wife because she was ✨manifesting✨.
ꕥ She loves using it though, sometimes she'd be with coworkers and they'd invited her to go out to pub and drink but she'll refuse saying "Can't, my wife is waiting for me". She'd really rather just spend time with you anyway.
ꕥ Congrats, you made her quit smoking or at least she's trying to. She still does every once and a while when shit gets really bad but never around you because she knows that secondhand smoke is just as bad for you.
ꕥ She doesn't have a type when it comes to people so body is out of the question, if she feels a connection then she feels it.
ꕥ Anything and everything to keep you safe, if something were to happen to you, trust that she'll either get it down herself or if she can't then she'll turn to Price and Belinski for help.
ꕥ As much as possible, she keeps you away from everything. The job she has is just too dangerous and she can't risk you, not when you're one of the only good things in her life that keeps her happy.
ꕥ Definitely a workaholic, something as simple as asking her to eat or rest, maybe take a break. She'll do it, for you and because she knows you care for her.
ꕥ Doesn't half-ass anything, full effort when it comes to you especially when there's a special occasion between you two like holidays, birthdays and anniversaries.
ꕥ Also she loves making you laugh, more often with stories of her experiences with Price and also about how they met.
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Gary "Roach" Sanderson
ꕥ (I CANNOT FIND A DECENT GIF OF THIS MAN FOR THE LIFE OF ME... Here's the credits to where I found the photo)
ꕥ Get this man a makeshift antenna, he would adore it. You made it for him because of his call sign.
ꕥ He sometimes wears it on missions but mostly keeps it so that it doesn't get damage because this man is definitely a horder, not in a bad way just anything you give to him is something worth keeping in his eyes.
ꕥ Gary definitely gives you handmade gifts back, when he knows you'll like something or even if it's at a random, he loves making them for you and he cried when he found out you kept those all in it's own box labeling it your treasures.
ꕥ Very shy and reluctant at first but once he's comfortable, he is tackling you for a hug when he gets the chance.
ꕥ Doesn't talk a lot, (it took me to Google when I saw that many people hc him communicating through BSL) but I like to think he does talk. It's just really selective, like a few words.
ꕥ The first time you heard his voice, you looked at him like "???". He looked at you confused at your reaction and he only realized it when you told him.
ꕥ Think that he'll try to learn sign language within your mother tongue you know, it's too cute not to think about.
ꕥ He gives off soft lover vibes, definitely far more on the gentle side compared to his comrades.
ꕥ Something in me tells me this man rambles but only and I mean only when he's already extremely comfortable around you, not used to using his voice much so expect a bit of stutter. Which by the way, he does this without knowing he's rambling and will profusely apologize with his tone of voice slowly getting more quiet. (This is your sign, comfort this man)
ꕥ Likes to crawl around and climb things for fun, another one of the reasons his call sign was formed. The first time Ghost genuinely screamed was when Roach was stuck on the side of the wall and Ghost saw him there. Kinda like when you see a roach climbing up a wall and it flies straight for you in your direction. (Happened to me by experience when I was taking a shower)
ꕥ He also likes crawling around, like this I mean. Hacker!Reader seeing this on the enemy's security camera while she tries to shut them off is just funny to me idk why.
ꕥ Chubby!Reader? Sign him the fuck up. You once sat down near him and he saw how you thought spread a bit and it was so close to his that he was just resisting the urge to touch. The voice in his head shamelessly thinking of what it would be like if you suffocated him with them.
ꕥ He loves peppering kisses, doesn't matter whether it's receiving or giving this man would straight up take your hands and use them to cup his face, his hands still being over yours and would with wait for you to kiss him or kiss you himself.
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Nikolai Belinski
ꕥ (I have no clue how to write for nik but I'll try my best)
ꕥ We all know him and his jokes about his "wives" which by the way is not true and you know it.
ꕥ He's husband material however he is quite busy, not that he'd barely spend time with you but he is away a lot. There's an upside to this, he constantly calls you (Let's be real, he prefers calls over texts) just to check on how you're doing and he tells you when he's going to come home.
ꕥ Despite all his jokes, he'd never actually make fun of you. Sure he's sarcastic and talks to himself a lot but he'd never go as low as actually making an offensive joke to his lover.
ꕥ Speaking of joking, your laugh is music to this man's ears. Don't matter if you sound like a dying cat, he's still gonna make you laugh.
ꕥ Surprisingly really sweet, people are often surprised to see that man with a lover. He's very thoughtful in a sense that he's observant, sure he's quite absentminded when around you because that's the only space he's comfortable enough to do so but also because he likes listening to you.
ꕥ Does every safety measure in a helicopter possible if he knew you or Gaz would be in that helicopter, he also makes improvements to it and calls it Gaz-proofing because we all know how Garrick fell off a damn helicopter TWICE. (Idk how he does it, Gaz has some serious plot armor)
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assiraphales · 3 months
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What baffles me about zosan isn't that it's popular, bc people will always love enemies/rivals-to-lovers; what i find crazy is that it's the most famous ship in op out there like, the numbers in ao3 for instance, they're insanely high compared to other ships. I don't get it man what am i missing???
as u may know I am "playing in my sandpit ignoring the other sandpits until someone throws a shovel at my head" type of blogger when it comes to ships BUT I will say I have no idea. i have no idea. one thing about me is i will never ever ever be choosing enemies/rivals over the soft "i would die for you I understand u like no one else you make my journey better you are my soulmate (platonic or romantic)" pairing. its just never going to happen. I didn't go into op expecting to have a ship but as soon as I saw zoro heave the cage luffy was in over his head with a stab wound in his stomach (after watching luffy sail across the ocean for the demon pirate hunter) I knew it was all over for me. I couldn't even entertain the other ship(s).
I will say. TENTATIVELY AND VERY QUIETLY. that while I support other ships u go honey boo boo ship what u want. I don't like the way that side of the fandom can at times twist canon? which we all do from time to time (myself included) but one particular moment that was weird to me was when ppl were mad that zolu got so much attention in the live action (which godbless the zolu numbers are strengthening by the day) bc it "focused on the wrong relationships" and I...... I hate to break it but canonically zoro and luffy and the romance dawn trio are so integral. there's also the fact that people will say "you can't ship luffy because luffy is aroace" almost exclusively only when zoro is involved. which is a conversation in itself that i'd need a second cup of coffee for.
sidenote: also sanuso ??? being dismissed ????? and people saying they can't see it???? u can love ur rival to lovers ship all u want but it doesn't stop the fact that usopp is sanji's babygirl and their relationship can be SO flirty.
long story short idk i feel like zsn was just the name brand ship for so long (and from what i've gathered there was a certain level of taboo to certain other ones). I can't speak for other platforms but at least tumblr content wise the smaller ships are getting a bigger presence
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sacredmads · 2 years
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my own success, failure, and everything in between with the law of assumption.
i get so many asks every day wondering why i even began practicing the law of assumption in the first place, and every single time i read one, i can't help but think of how far i've come. i want to tell you guys from the very beginning why i even felt the need to want to start manifesting things into my life, because i really do feel it could help some people. even if this doesn't help you in an LOA sense, i do hope it helps you to know that things will always get better, no matter what things look like right now. you deserve nothing but love and light and happiness, and you will get that, no matter what.
(very small TW!)
i have been through a lot in my life. a LOT. i'll spare you guys the nitty gritty details of it all, don't worry. but to put it lightly, when i found the law of assumption, i was desperate for things in my life to start changing for the better. at the time, which was a year ago now, i was surrounded by bad people, in bad situationships, and had also just gotten diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder due to two extremely ab*sive relationships i was in. i hated my job, i hated how i looked, how i acted, how i talked, the things i was doing, the path i was going down. i longed for so much change.
i saw the law of assumption as my way out. however, my views on the law then are much different than my views on it now. i looked at manifestation as something i had to WORK for. i looked at LOA as a chore. this meant that trying to get my desires became a much more negative than a positive thing for me. i started to hate my life, and myself, even more, because i didn't know what i was doing wrong. every time i'd read a success story, i would feel nothing but envy and jealousy. i wanted to manifest my life being different SO bad that i began to feel as though it was something that i would never accomplish. these thoughts and assumptions buried me even deeper into the pit than i already was, and started a viscous cycle of me hating my life, myself, and starting to form a type of resentment against the law of assumption.
then, towards the end of 2021, the void state blew up on tumblr. i saw the void as my way out - my solution to all of this. (spoiler alert, it wasn't). i tried for MONTHS on end to get into the void. i would spend hours laying in my bed, affirming over and over and over, and getting nothing but angry at myself because yet again, the method wasn't working. more void success stories started coming to tumblr, and every time i'd read one, i'd genuinely feel sick to my stomach. i didn't understand what i wasn't doing right.
towards the beginning of this year i decided to just cut my losses and stop trying to get into the void, and focus on the things i already had, because i thought that was all i had going for me.
i can't remember where it started, but i can say that now, in this very moment, i am the happiest i have ever been.
i have manifested so many things i didn't even dream would be possible for me.
for ONCE in my life, i am so comfortable with my finances. i have financial freedom, and, not to gloat, but MORE than enough money in my bank account.
i have the most AMAZING group of friends... literally shit that feels like it's from a movie. i cannot fathom having any other group around me.
literally manifested an SP that doesn't feel real. fairy tale typa love.
i manifested a job that i love more than words, and not only that, but i manifested getting promoted to manager, and i start training next month.
i've manifested appearance changes as well, and i feel so beautiful in my skin, with AND without makeup, which again.. i didn't think would be possible.
my assumptions about myself, my life, finances, friends, people, relationships, ANYTHING you can think of have all changed for the better. i genuinely feel as though i am limitless and can manifest absolutely anything i desire, and not only that, i feel as though i deserve all of my desires. because i do! a year ago today i was a completely different person than i am now - and i'm so proud to say that i am living a comfortable, happy, and free life.
i know so many people on tumblr and on all platforms that hold an LOA community struggle with so many of the same things i struggled with, and i can promise you that if you truly just focus on what you already know and APPLY, nothing is impossible and nothing will stop you. i have been where you are - i have believed the law of assumption was bullshit at points. but now, i cannot imagine where i'd be if i hadn't started practicing the law. are there things i still want to manifest? absolutely! do i still have small struggles, or bad days? absolutely! the thing is though, i know now that none of that matters. what matters is the things i want - and that's it! there is nothing in this entire world that will stop my desires from coming to me.
when i finally realized that the only person who can stop my desires is ME, is when things finally started changing for the better. i am the only one who will ruin my success and also the only one who can give myself success. i'm choosing to give myself success.
you will get your success, too. you deserve to feel good, and love your life. you deserve to not have stresses or worries. you deserve nothing but all that life has to offer, and i believe you can give that to yourself.
please stop sabotaging your own desires, and stay focused on what you want. you WILL get it. you already have it! do you feel it? do you feel the life you're living right now, with all of your desires? that feeling is what's real. that feeling is what you're experiencing, right now.
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inanisomnia · 1 year
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chishiya shuntaro headcanons. [chishiya x fem!reader]
idk if i'm late to post anything related to chishiya but nevertheless i'm still going to post this bc i wanna write something abt him because i need more content abt him sgakhs this man is taking over my life /sobs
anyway, here are some hcs !! i've been ia here on tumblr so pls bear with me ^^ if u enjoyed reading this kindly reblog it (?) if that's okay with u, it means a lot ilysm <;33
reqs are open <;33
oh and also this is my first time writing an hc tot
++ this might be connected to the drabble i plan to write/post
genre : fluff ?? gurl idek anymore
warning/s: none ?? not proofread kind of ungrammatical??-3#! sorry for that tot
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chishiya meeting you (?)
chishiya shuntaro believes himself to be an apathetic human being - void shell of a human being. he does things and that's about it - until one night, at the beach, he saw you.
under the faint gleam of the celestial stars and crescent moon, amidst the crowds of people dancing their remaining lives away, dizzying lights that lit the dancefloor, there you are.
wearing a black puff sleeve bikini top paired with high waisted midnight-colored laced shorts - your hair gracefully danced along your swift movements as you danced and laughed with your new found friends in the borderland.
you caught his attention.
this doesn't really happen to him, but something about you was so enticing he can't even seem to look at anything else - until kuina taps his shoulder to talk about something.
after that night, he can't seem to shake you out of his head and best believe me that he's the most in denial person you'll ever know.
he'll convince himself with the silliest reasons like he might have just been hungry, or dizzy from the games, or maybe, sleepy. anything but acknowledge that he admires you.
you see, he might be an intelligent individual, academically and street smart, but there are times that he can't think straight when it comes to you.
most nights he subconsciously looks for you on the ocean of the crowds arriving after the games. he's aware that you're cunning, and physically strong to protect yourself, but there's this gnawing feeling whenever he can't spot you among the hundreds of people at the gate.
he'll never make the first move. never. unless of course you talk to him first which you did, one time because how could you ever ignore this pretty man and introduced yourself.
he can feel his heart hammer into his chest as you walk towards him but he'll never show it.
you offered your hands for him to shake as you ask for his name (of course you already know it, since he is one of the known executives at the beach. but you still shoot your shot.)
he's not the type to shake your hand if you introduce yourself, but he acknowledges your presence in his own way.
conflicted with the feelings he's experiencing but he doesn't like to overthink things so he just goes along with it.
until he can't. until he wants all of you – until he wants to know everything about you, to protect you.
as your boyfriend:
i really feel like he's not really into pda. he would want to keep your relationship in secret. there may have been lots of people in the borderlands who despise him and he's actually afraid that they will use you to get back at him.
he doesn't want that. he doesn't want you to get hurt at all. after settling his feelings that he does love you, genuinely, he swore to himself that he'll protect you.
(i've read this here before and i'll put it here but y'all are so right dgahshs) his love language is quality time. and physical touch.
at midnights, he'll sneak into your room and literally just play board games or just talk about everything.
he doesn't let others touch his hair nor his face but if its you, hell, that's more than fine.
he loves your warm touch, your tenderness as you braid or play with his hair, rambling about things you love and hate.
he's a great listener. he'll stare at you with full adoration in his eyes and slight smile.
he's fucking grateful for your existence. you're his solace in this hell you're both caught up wjth.
gurl he loves cuddles especially after a tough game, he craves your skin, your smile, your laugh, everything.
the first time you both kissed was you doing it impulsively because you got so happy on what he gave you (its up to your imagination to what it is gsajgd) and you're both caught off guard.
there was an awkward silence and a plethora of apologies, but he just smiled and cupped your face and kissed you tenderly.
everything seemed to melt away. it felt as if the borderland turned into a hazy cloud 9.
when you can't sleep, he'll play with your hair, both bodies entangled under the sheets, a wholesome intimacy between souls trying to survive this hell.
he's the type to kiss your scars and lull you to sleep.
sgakuss basically chishiya being head over heels in love with every bits of you - your flaws, your moles, your dimples, every little detail about you, he's here for it.
he doesn't realize it yet, but you did change the way he perceives himself.
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ave-immaculata · 11 months
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Can I still be Christian if I don't fit into the gender roles? Ok, typing it out makes it sound like a ridiculous question, but still. I'm a woman, and I just feel like I don't fit into any of the 'norms'. I don't wear make up because I don't want to, I've never shaven, and honestly most of my clothes are boy's section because I like the cuts and the material better. (It's thicker, it's not tight and it doesn't look ridiculous- for whatever reason even teenage boy's clothes are more practical than women's.) I'm in a male-dominated field of study as well, and I don't plan to ever have kids, and if I do, then it'll be through adoption.
Buuut counting all of that, I've gotten some pretty strange looks when I started going to church. I've had people make all sorts of assumptions and it does feel tiring. I've had a friend I made there subtly send me a link through Whatsapp for bible verses on 'femininity', and all that even. I don't know. I feel pulled towards God, but I also feel that I'm all alone in this. Virtually every other Christian woman I encounter wants to be a mother and take care of her husband. It's only on this website that I've even seen Christian women who are in tech and all that.
Absolutely, a resounding and explicit yes. In all sincerity, those norms do not matter in the Christian life, and even if Christians might culturally expect those things from women, Christ does not. The Blessed Virgin, the holiest woman to ever live, never wore makeup or shaved, and her clothes would have been practical and loose fitting. Openness to life (i.e. being open to having biological children) is crucial if you're called to marriage, but adoption is a noble and virtuous endeavor regardless. If it's not imminent (i.e. you're engaged, married, etc.) then take it to prayer as you grow with Christ! There's no rush and need to have it discerned right at the beginning.
That does sound exhausting; I think there's sort of an overcorrection where Christians, in an effort to reclaim their identity as men and women, are very rigid and enforcing extrabiblical rules about what 'real' masculinity and 'real' femininity are. A lot of men and women do thrive in those stricter rules, but plenty of women are virtuously feminine even if they might be less 'obviously' feminine. I would hope that the friends from your church are sincere and trying to be helpful, and I'm sorry that it seems like they're kind of shooting in the wrong direction. Finding fellowship is something I still really struggle with and I've found tumblr super helpful.
Keep praying and keep seeking God; conform yourself to Him and try to live righteously. You're so so welcome in the Christian life.
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suzannahnatters · 1 year
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Subplot Romance
Over the years I've created some twitter threads on writing and history and I've decided it's a good time to start compiling and sharing them on this Tumblr. I'm going to tag them "writing".
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Here's what I've learned about writing subplot romance. (People who write genre romance probably already know this stuff. It's those of us who are mainly leavening romantic subplots into fantasy novels that need this info).
1. Romance = fundamentally character-driven. All internal conflict & internal growth. (Can these two trust each other? Will their character flaws drive them apart?) The more study you put into creating characters and building character arcs, the better your romantic writing.
A romance arc is not the SAME as a character arc, but it 100% NEEDS solid character work undergirding it.
2. Romance needs two ingredients: a compelling reason for the characters to be TOGETHER, & a compelling reason for them to be APART. This forms the conflict in the romance so do not skimp on either.
Eg, a common mistake in male-penned stories: female lead has no compelling reason to want male lead. "He's a good-looking warrior dedicated to winning her throne!" Yeah nah, she's literally surrounded by good-looking warriors dedicated to winning her throne, why's he different?
3. Romance needs chemistry = a believable spark of attraction. Something that blew my mind when I realised it: romantic chemistry =/= sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry (purely physical attraction) is simply PART of romantic chemistry.
Romantic chemistry is a good deal broader. (Read/watch some good romances to see how chemistry is built by different storytellers. One fave of mine is the Romola Garai EMMA. Peerless friends-to-lovers chemistry. Watch the actors' body language; the way they gravitate to each other; the way their faces light up)
Chemistry tip A: if the driver behind sexual chemistry is lust, the driver behind romantic chemistry is trust. Protag needs/wants someone to trust. It's the way you play with trust/distrust that will create romantic tension.
eg: love interest holds protag's hand. With sexual chemistry, protag simply feels a jolt at the contact. With romantic chemistry, protag feels comforted and trustful - then betrayed when it turns out LI is tracking her pulse to see if she's lying to him (see: MISS SHARP 😇)
Chemistry tip B: if protag is falling for someone, that person should occupy their mind. LI should be mentioned/thought of each scene, even when absent. When present: LI consistently provokes unaccustomed emotion - either positive or negative, depending.
Chemistry tip C: make the characters their best/most lovable/most iconic selves when with each other. Quirkiness, smarts, hilarity. Make these the most fun character scenes in the book & the audience will ship them. Passionately.
4. Build romantic chemistry/attraction through escalating moments of trust and tension. If aiming for happily-ever-after(HEA)/for-now(HFN), then the overall arc is towards greater trust, but you need those moments of tension to give the big payoff scenes appropriate catharsis.
OTOH, if you're writing a tragic/backstabby romance, you need the trust/comfort moments in order to sell the big tragedy/betrayal.
5. Trust, comfort, & happiness are POWERFUL. This is what genre romance thrives upon. Even in dark/spiky stories, the most surprising thing in the story can be the moment when the LI DOESN'T betray the protag. That too can be wildly cathartic. Use it.
6. Just as character-driven skills help you with romance, so if you master romantic writing, you'll be better able to write ALL types of relationship - platonic, friendly, hostile.
OK that's all so far. Two book recs: ROMANCING THE BEAT by Gwen Hayes & THE HEROINE'S JOURNEY by Gail Carriger teach you the rules/expectations of genre romance so you'll know what the rules are for a happy romance subplot & how to break them for a tragic version.
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sapphia · 1 year
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Hey friend, I hope I can ask a favour from you. I’m a black non-binary lesbian going through a tough phase as Both of my parents are openly homophobic and transphobic. I've organised a crowdfunding to solicit for support to evacuate my home, it's been help for me. Please consider to donate to my pinned link on my profile if you can Reblog and share my pin post to reach a large audience with support . Anything helps at the moment.🙏❤️
Alright everyone, time for an impromptu lesson on how to spot scam asks!
The first sign that this message is a scam is honestly that someone is sending me this message at all, especially since I don't interact with the person enough to recognise their name. I'm sure that 99.9% of donation messages will be spam messages set up by accounts specifically designed to get money out of people, enough that I will delete these by default. I don't think I've ever had a genuine one. But if messages like this tug on your heartstrings enough to want to find out, let me show you how to do that.
The first warning sign is that I'm not following them. Maybe they're a longtime follower of my account though, and I might want to help them in that case, so to check that, I go to my account page, scroll down to the blog that was sent the message, and click on followers.
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There I can type in alicesgarcia's blog name in the search, to see if she's following me. But I don't have to because I can see that she's right at the top of my follower list. This is a bad sign--it means she's followed me recently. To check this, I go to my notes and filter for followers only.
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I left my ask notifications on too, and from this, I can see they actually sent me the ask BEFORE they followed me. Definitely a scam.
But let's say I want to go deeper. Maybe they're not my follower, but perhaps they are a genuine long-time tumblr user in a hard time--after all, they're a black non-binary lesbian with bigoted parents. That's all of my weak spots in one! I really want to support someone in that situation (Which, of course, I do, I'm on tumblr. This scam is highly targeted, and they s know what will get my sympathy).
So let's check out her blog. She's got a lot of posts, but they're all photo posts, which is another red flag. Though I'm scrolling and scrolling, most of the posts were made 1 day ago, with another big dump 5 days ago. There's a LOT of posts, too much to scroll through. This is deliberate, to make her look legit and discourage people from seeing the date of her first post. But by offsetting posts hundreds at a time (see address bar), I can find her first post.
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And there we go--their first post was made five days ago. Definite scam. These are all huge red flags, but you don't need every one of them to tell you it's a scam. Any single one of these should have given me enough doubt that I would just click the block button. New follower? Scam. New blog? Scam. Blog all one type of post? Scam. No interaction with other blogs? Scam. Even the fact that she was so vulnerable and marginalised is a huge warning sign (you're being targeted), as is the fact that her blog just doesn't make her feel like a real person.
Look for ALL of these things. A good scam might set up a blog a month in advance and make personalised posts to gain your trust, or get the login of an old blog and use their age to make them look legit. Keep digging, and keep making sure that what you're seeing tracks with this being a real person in genuine need.
And if you're going to signal boost, even if you're not donating your own money, PLEASE do these basic steps before you post or reblog. Let's protect each other from this.
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WIBTA if I posted my art from a zine early?
I (23nb) joined a zine for a semi obscure 2000s manga/anime as a page artist with two of my friends. I enjoy this media but I don't really consider myself in the fandom, I only joined because one of my aforementioned friends is a huge fan of it and the other friend is also a casual enjoyer and we thought it would be fun if we all did a zine together.
However.
Most zines have a timeline of around 9-10 months from beginning to publishing but this one's been in production for almost 2 years. I've been in a few zines and this one has the worst organization I've ever seen in any project. The timeline on the discord only covered the first 5 months and had no estimate for how long the production would be, but a year and a half for publishing is pretty unheard of. The only check-in for progress that I remember didn't even require sending in your piece, you just had to say if you were finished or not and only a handful of the 30ish people on the discord responded lmao. Both of my friends ghosted at this point and the Singular mod (there might be two mods. I can't really tell) didn't dm them to see if they still wanted to participate or anything. Since there is only one person doing everything me and a few others have asked if they need any help and every time the mod(s) say that they're fine. every month or two someone will ask how the production is going and the mod will answer, and then another month goes by and the cycle repeats. I think the zine has finally gone into its “preorder interest check” stage (so not the actual preorder) but judging by how long everything takes i estimate that it'll be another 2 months at least before it actually goes into preorder. Its also never been clear if this is a free zine or if the sales will be donated to charity or distributed among the contributors. Since there's Allegedly going to be a physical copy it's gotta at least use the sales money to pay for production and shipping costs, but I have no idea if I'll be compensated with a physical copy or any money, especially if I do the thing that I might be TA for.
So here's my actual question. WIBTA if I posted the art I made for the zine before the mod says it's ok to do so? A big part of zine etiquette is that you do not post the final piece until the zine is finished, and the repercussions for someone who does range from a mod dming them to take it down or being kicked out of the zine entirely or in the absolute worst case, called out and blacklisted in the fandom and zine circles (I don't think anything that serious will happen to me but I have anxiety so I'm always imagining the worst thing) Most of the people on Tumblr in this fandom are kind of annoying fandom mom millennial types so I don't really want to deal with any possible backlash from them lol. If I just posted my art on Instagram idk if any of them would see it, but they Definitely would if I posted on Tumblr since the zine originated on there and it's such a small tag. I'm also so frustrated with the experience I kind of want to write something cunty in the description about how it's a zine piece for a zine that probably will never come out but I know that's just being petty and would probably invite drama. Also since I drew this thing a year and a half ago it's a little busted looking so I might redraw parts of it, so posting it would still be kinda shitty but it would technically be a different piece from the original one I submitted to the zine.
What are these acronyms?
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wellntruly · 6 months
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Blogging, vol. v
I’m having surgery tomorrow. Why this is always happening in November is beyond me, but it sure is an aesthetically kind month to not work and be extra-grade cozy in soft knits, sipping soups, while outside it rains grey on amber.
Unlike my gum surgery last year, this one I had no idea was coming for me, and the weeks getting up to the point of finally knowing what was going to happen were, not to exaggerate, not good. It's odd that it's better now, since it was indeed something you don't want to find. But then you can start to process. Process, process.
I actually tend to do quite well with surgery, both as a concept and a thing to heal from, even before I spent my recovery from the previous one watching a 50 year old TV show about surgeons. I find the kind of pain engendered by things you need stitches about to be quite reasonable mentally; it hurts, it hurts there, for this reason, you have pills to dull it, and it will gradually heal. Simply “feeling sick,” or worst of all nauseous, that’s what can make me wonder what it’s all even for. Miserable, derogatory.
So the fact that it really seems a predominantly surgical approach is going to be most of what we need to take care of this problem has me almost overwhelmed with gratitude. It could have been far, far worse for me. But I have all the most treatable metrics for this, even being rather young for it has the silver lining of meaning I should heal well. And I’m so lucky to have a warm, funny, exceptionally skilled surgeon who actually went through the same thing when she was also my age, and that honestly, I’ve absolutely the Edward Gorey illustration body type to probably even end up looking pretty chic going down to just a bit of an A cup, which is what she's going to be able to do, not to bury the lede. Surprise top surgery, is what I’ve been calling it, and thank you to the boys for the re-contextualizing dream that is the phrase ‘top surgery’, a concept of such positivity; life-affirming, life-saving.
It is a strange, swift-approaching change to reckon with though, impossible to avoid that. I've always tended to dress as if I don’t even have the actually, admittedly, great boobs that I've had up til now, but it is still the body I know. I’ll roll onto my stomach in bed and think, for one that I soon won’t be doing this at all again for a while, and that when I do, it’s going to feel different. Fascinating to consider.
I'm leaning into a sort of Orlando-like curiosity about it, this vague physical transformation just spontaneously befalling me in my adulthood. How will this be. What sort of opportunities might this actually grant. I’ll be endeavoring to hardly ever wear a bra again, I’ll tell you that for certain. Should I use this as the push to finally get a bespoke suit, soft and wide-legged, with a jacket that can fall in just a clean draped line from my shoulders? Will I be able to wear suspenders? I think about watching Margaret Qualley in The Stars At Noon this summer, how I watched her just drop a loose sundress over her bare body, entirely backless, and walk out the door. I think, of course, of "Keira Knightley Atonement," as my inspiration board folder is called.
I’ve also been thinking about this blog, what I think Tumblr user sashayed once called her secret public journal. Sometimes what I or others will post can break into the very real & personal, like this, for the benefit that comes from just releasing, sharing the large challenging things in our lives. I think about a long-time mutual who posted about some of the strangeness she felt during hospitalization for an accident, how recalling some of what she wrote about has brought me a feeling of solidarity in this.
But there’s also how I’ve actually been blogging about this for weeks and weeks, it’s just only been for me. Another kind of secret public journal. This butterfly coming out of a row of cocoons in a window: this was for how I was, fully insanely yes, watching A Zed & Two Noughts while I was wracked with anxiety over what might be going on with my body, but/and the idea of emerging after this surgery new and striking and light. This is self-explanatory. This tiny-chested witch vaulting skulls is “literally me” goals this time next October. This was actually exactly, exactly my vibe getting my biopsy, with the sweetest nurses.
And now at last it all comes together, the public and private journal, on the eve of really what we’re all waiting for, oh god me for sure: the return of painkiller diaries. Painkiller diaries is a lifestyle, actually, it’s an ethos. I let myself so wholly rest after my gum surgery last year that the rest of November was the happiest I’d been in years. Please, again. Return to cashmere convalescence. And would you look at this beautiful soup sippin' mug I’ve gotten since then:
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Oh I think we’re ready.
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iloveyou-writers · 2 months
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Hi! I'm sorry this ended up longer than I intended to. I really needed to let it out, and I hope you can share some wisdom with me.
I am feeling hopeless about my writing today. Lately I've been fighting with thoughts about how I'm not getting better, and some jealousy completely pushed me to the edge.
For the past couple of months, I've been working on one of the biggest fanfic projects of mine. Normally I don't read on a fandom if I'm actively working for it, exactly because then I compare my writing to others', but since this is taking more time than my other stuff, I allowed myself to take a look today. I immediately found a story that I haven't seen before, and I was exited the whole time! It was great, and have me so much joy.
At first I was full of admiration towards the writer, and inspired to continue woekint on my own story. It was one of the best things I've ever read, and I immediately sat down to write a comment. Then something clicked. My story can't compare to this. The topics are so much different, but the way they write the characters, dialogues, everything, it's so much better.
I tried to tell myself I'm going to get better, but I just hate that despite having great ideas, the finished work will never live up to stories such as the one I read today. Because even though I know I've gotten better in the many years I've been writing, I never had any work I'm proud of, or one that fit the idea I started with. That what makes me feel the most hopeless.
This broke my heart, so I don't want to ignore it, even though I'm "technically" retired from tumblr.
I do want to offer my utmost respect to you for giving yourself boundaries due to knowing yourself well enough to acknowledge that you have an issue with envy.
It is so healthy that you try to work with what you know your attitude tends to be and that you set a boundary for yourself not to read fanfic while you're writing. It isn't that you're not allowed to ever read it, but while you're writing in the fandom. That's great. That's wonderful. I'm proud of you for that.
It can be really easy to fall into the hole of "I'm never going to be good enough." You read something and you can be so amazed by others. I'll bet, though, that if you wrote the exact story you just read, you would likely feel differently about it. Why? Because we artists are HARD on ourselves. It really is true when they say that artists are our own worst critics. We judge every word, every movement our characters make. Why? Because we know the story we're trying to tell. We know what we envisioned when we started typing.
To us, we're comparing our writing to what we wanted it to be.
Readers? Yeah, they can have expectations or hopes for writing, but they ultimately didn't know what we were envisioning while we wrote it. They only know what they read. So they see it with fresh eyes and they see it for what it is, not for what it was supposed to be.
So it's really easy for readers to see the amazing aspects of a writer's work when a writer might only see what they did wrong or what they had to change in order to make the story work.
It's still the same incredible piece. It's still wonderful and I'll bet you're a much better writer than you feel like you are. 💗🫂
Maybe take a step back. Maybe take a few days off, so that the feeling of being "worse" isn't so fresh. Maybe do something else or work on a totally different story. Busy your mind so it isn't focused on what you feel you're not doing right.
No one's perfect. I guarantee the writer that made the story you read is nitpicking the things they wish they didn't have to change or that they feel they could have worded better.
So cut yourself slack. Remember to love your writing, to love where you're at. Writing is a journey. It isn't about getting to the destination. It's about enjoying the ride there. :) You'll get there, just remember to appreciate your writing for what it is now. And one day, you'll be where you want to be. Just keep working at it and loving yourself and your work.
Thank you for reaching out and I really, really hope you find comfort in this response.
Happy writing, my dear nonnie. 💗 I'm wishing nothing but happiness and pride in your work.
~Hannah
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unknownpisces002 · 1 year
Text
Bleed me dry, Make me blue
" She was born in limbo, with the, need to be as simple. As her, makers and the made up things she dreamed."
Shuri Udaku x Reader.
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Summary
Fairly different from your peers around you? You're labeled as an outcast. For being far too incompetent to complete certain task and request from your leader, K'uk'ulkan.
As well as from your sister, Namora. Who doesn't make it easy, or let you go without knowing that you'll never be as dexterous, predominant, or treasured as she is.
Which you learned how to accept and live with after while. Because being reminded that you're nothing but a powerless individual everyday, who'll never be anything more except the useless being that you are? Tends to brainwash you and cause you to start believing that those assumptions might be true. Until you find yourself being intrigued by a prisoner, that is. And one of royalty from the surface world, who's encounter will leave you questioning everything you believe in–as well as yourself.
Word count: 6.7K
Themes: friends to lovers to enemies, and then lovers again, angst, eventual sexual content later in the series, slight violence, verbal abuse, reader just wants to be accepted and seen for who she is, forbidden romance i guess you could say?, reader is Talokanil, but we can pretend that she's black, because i wasn't 100% sure if they had any black Talokanil people during the movie?, eventual fluff, and etc.
Tag list: @inmyheadimobsessed @vixentheplanet @shurismainbxtch @pinkwright ( this is my first story ever on tumblr so as we grow together and embark on shuri and the readers journey? just let me know if you'd like to be tagged, and i'll be glad to put more names here in the future ❤️ )
Divider by: @firefly-graphics
Author's note
hi, i'm niy! and i'm a new writer who's decided to branch out from wattpad even though i love writing on there? to tap into something new and write about what i've been interested in lately? which is shuri/letitia. this story will be a series with idk how many parts yet? but i've been putting some thought into this for a while before actually typing anything out? so most likely? there will be a decent amount of parts lol. i don't really know if i have anything more to say, except that i hope you all enjoy part one, and if so? please feel free to follow me and things of that nature. as we proceed to experience this journey of shuri and our kind hearted reader together. 🥹
inspiration for this story period, came from jhenè aiko's souled out deluxe album. which you all probably would've noticed had i not said anything? because majority of the upcoming chapters? will feature a song from there and possibly her other albums she has. but this song specifically? really helped me piece everything together and it got my inspiration and ideas flowing.
but now with further ado? let's get onto the story!
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There was an uproar occurring within the city of Talokan, as you paced around nervously in a circle, with knitted eyebrows and an accelerated heartbeat. Outside the front of Namor's cave, where you were being watched like a hawk by the guards who blocked the entrance. As you awaited for him to send some kind of message or bless you with his presence himself.
After Namora had showed up into your quarters unannounced, looking highly displeased and angry, like she always does. Whenever she's forced to take time away from her second in command duties? To be a sister to you–which she hates. And you know that she hates it.
Because she reminds you of it every single time, when the two of you are alone. And far away from other ears to hear, like they've done in the past. Which you were honest to God? Quite a bit thankful for. Knowing that she finally decided to belittle and tear down your demeanor in private? Rather than carelessly doing it around others, and ruining your chances at forming normal friendships or acquaintances with other Talokanil people, who were close around your age.
" Y/N?" Your breathing stilled along with your heart, at the sound of your name rolling off Namor's tongue. " K'uk'uklan." You kneeled before him, holding out both your hands in front of you, as you paid him your respects.
" Ba'ax ts'o'ok in meentik ba'al k'aas?" Rising to your feet slowly after he returned the hand gesture, you tried to steady out your ragged breathing. Seeing that your question had gone unanswered, and that Namor's eyes were boring into yours, with a glint of what looked like disappointment in them?
Translation: Have I done something wrong?
" In ch'ujuk ch'ùupalo' yéetel talamilo' ob?" Namor's eyebrow raised slightly, as he tilted his head to the side. Continuing to stare at you intently, as if he could see straight through you. " Are you unhappy here?"
Translation: My sweet troubled child.
" Because if you are unhappy, and not completely satisfied with the way that things are here? You know there are ways, for me to put you out of your misery and discomfort, Indefinidamente."
Translation: Indefinitely.
A tremor of fear rushed throughout your entire body, once the realization of him threatening to kill you? Had settled inside of your crowded up brain, that was full of thoughts and many different scenarios. As you found yourself trying to imagine what he would do to you, and how he would do it? If you were to continue being the failure that Namora had cursed you to be.
" I am not unhappy, K'uk'ulkan." You responded to his question with a shaky tone, after standing and being silent for what felt like forever.
" Bey u, much sa'asik in." Translation: So please forgive me.
" Much sa'asik in tumen decepcionar, in Ajaw." It didn't take long for the warm feel of tears to come rolling down your face. As you fought to maintain eye contact with Namor, despite it being very intense. As he circled around your small body, as if he was a lion stalking his prey, preparing to pounce.
Translation: Please forgive me for disappointing you, my king.
" Shh, shh, it's alright." His hands came in contact with your skin, as he cradled the bottom part of your chin. Using the pads of his thumbs to dry your face free of the tears. That kept spewing down your face uncontrollably-nonstop, like a waterfall. Or a dam that had been broken and left unfixed.
But at a time like this? You couldn't keep your emotions in tact and prevent your evident occurring sadness from showing, like you'd normally do? Whenever you'd failed at completing a special task that Namor requested. After he'd given you a warning not to screw up or disappoint him. 
Which for some odd reason you blamed the God's and Namora for? Seeing that whenever you attempted to try and redeem yourself for all the fuck ups and mistakes you'd make, while trying to be as great and respected as your dear loving and kind big sister? That you always ended up failing.
And digging yourself into an even bigger hole, that not even Namora couldn't save you from, after you had messed up and displeased the king. " Y/N?" Namor called out to you once more. Allowing you to be snapped out of the small trance you were in, as you continued to weep in front of him softly. Hoping that he'd forgive you for what felt like the hundred millionth time.
And spare your life, instead of putting you out of your misery. Despite your small disliking for your home and some of the people who lived here. Who'd make existing and trying to find your place and what was meant for you? So much harder than it already was. When you had an unsupportive and callous older sister. Who already did that regularly, as if she got some sort of satisfaction, out of making you feel like you were nothing more than an ungifted and worthless individual.
That would never amount to anything or ever be anything. Except for the person that you were right now. Which hurt a lot at times, if you were being completely honest? But over time you grew accustomed and numb to her vile words, and derogatory attitude that she'd show towards you.
And despite how deeply it made you want to put yourself out of your own misery, with the way that her and others had treated you? You refused to let her or anyone else who'd defied and depreciated you in the past, and even still now in the present? Push you to the point of no return.
" Y/N, I need you to take the initiative that I know you have? And that I've distilled inside of you? To be more like Namora. And try harder, way more harder than you do now? So you can be prepared and take charge, like everyone else. So when I call out to you in a time of need or if we're at war?"
" That you'll be ready to stand beside me, Attuma and your sister. And assist us in fighting for our people."
Hearing the word try come out of Namor's mouth, caused your tears to come to an abrupt stop. As you struggled to mask away your apparent frustration and anger, that was slowly beginning to settle over your features. Try, you thought to yourself.
He wants you to try, and be more like Namora? When you've given and lost almost all sense, as well as your peace of mind, trying to force yourself to be a person that the universe and God's above? Clearly didn't want you to be. Seeing that whenever you did attempt to follow up with Namor's commands, as a way to try and regain his trust and respect? That you failed.
Every single time.
No matter how hard you pushed yourself, to be more like your sister or Attuma? 
You've always failed nevertheless. But with a forced smile and eyes full of determination? You nodded and told him you would. Which made him release the hold he had on your face, and smile back at you warmly.
After detaching his lips from the top of your forehead. " In wa'alike' u meent nukuch ba'alo'ob, waal mía." He stepped away from you, inching back near the entrance of his cave.
Translation: I believe you will do great things, my child.
" Kux betpajal ichil le ba'ax yaan Máax ku ya'alik yóok'ol a Buka'aj u ba'al tu beel nojoch? Chúuns tu intentndo yéetel Ma'atech a desanimes, tuméen kolnáalen le k'áate' u páajtal juzgar máak waye'."
Translation: And despite what anyone says about your capability of being great? Keep trying and never get discouraged, for I am the only being allowed to judge anyone here."
" Yes, K'uk'ulkan." Kneeling a second time, you repeated the hand gesture from earlier. Bowing your head down slightly before him, as he did the same. Before disappearing back into the entrance of his cave, where he probably was finishing up a wall mural or painting a new one, as he normally would.
But as quickly as the assumption came? It had faltered away much faster. When the special guest, who you're assuming was the one of royalty, from the surface world. That had the entire Talokan city, as well as the people murmuring and gossiping about? Came walking out of the entrance way of the cave, shortly after Namor had entered back inside of it.
As she was followed behind closely by the guards, who shot you a look of distaste, that clearly meant get lost. And not to watch where they were going, which of course? You ignored and instead went with your instincts, that always led you to get into trouble at times.
But how could you not? After being blessed by the sight of an actual being from the surface. Who was cloaked and wearing a white gown, which you recognized from seeing earlier. When Namora had came into your quarters, and stated that Namor had wanted to see you. After you failed to complete your mission he'd sent you out on.
When a U.S ship had came and tried to steal away vibranium, that was detected outside of the Talokan city walls. And had it not been for Namora coming to save you in time, after a bullet had wounded your side? While you were attempting to fight off one of the U.S agents, who had caught you off guard and snuck up behind you? When you were attempting to fight off another one?
Then maybe you wouldn't have been alive. And of course? Namora wasn't going to let you live without knowing that she'd been the one to save your life. But her doing that and holding it over your head? Was already something you expected she'd do. And despite how annoying it was that she felt the need to bring it up, whenever the two of you talked since the situation occurred?
Apart of you felt grateful to her nonetheless, that she had saved your life. Instead of leaving you to die, like you assumed she would? With how mean and unloving she always acts towards you.
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The walk down the hall of the cave was quiet and a bit nerve wracking. As you crept slowly and stealthily, trying your hardest not to look too suspicious if you were caught. Or seen by anyone who'd realize you were somewhere you weren't supposed to be during the moment.
As you approached one of the cells, that had a guard on the outside. Who held onto a staff tightly, as she stood up straight. With her shoulders upright, facing her head forward. In the direction of the entrance, which had allowed you to catch a quick glimpse of the well familiar slightly curled hair, from the female you had seen earlier.
Along with the shaved sides she had, as well as the white gown that was embroidered with teal colored beads. That Namor had made specifically for her, as you watched her from the shadows in awe, from where you were currently standing, with your body slightly crouched as a way to hide yourself from being seen.
Which let you know right away that you were in the correct place.
Seeing how many guards were on patrol. And standing on the outside and inside, which also confirmed that she must've been from a line of great royalty. With how closely her and the other individual, who she was standing beside. And having what looked like an intense or secretive discussion? Were being watched.
" Ba'ax juntéen! Ba'ax ka beetik husmeando ti' le nu'ukulil le áaktuno'? Xeen tu xíik, Wa informaré k'uj. uk' ulkan." One of the guards who stood outside the entrance shouted at you, with her hand pointed in your direction.
Translation: Hey! What are you doing snooping around this part of the cave? Leave at once, or I'll report to K'uk'ulkan.
" I-i was sent down here by my sister, Namora." You spit out quickly, with your hands raised in the air in surrender.
" Yaanten permiso utia'al u yaantal waye'." Taking small steps forward you inched closer towards the guard.
Keeping your eyes locked on hers, as a way to show that you were being honest. Despite the fact that in actuality? You weren't. But of course she'd never know that. And you prayed to the God's up above? That she'd never find out either, once she stepped aside and granted you full access to enter inside of the cell.
Translation: I have permission to be here.
That honestly in your opinion? Wasn't really like one. Nor did it give off an imprisonment vibe, with how the other guards that were located inside? Were offering fruit to both the Princess and the smaller female beside her. While being kind and doing small gestures that you would have never expected them to do, being that they were supposed to be prisoners after all.
But due to the Princess's status of royalty? You assumed that Namor had ordered the guards to treat them both with kindness. And not to bring any harm unto either one of them. Which still felt quite odd and unusual? Especially for him to do? With all the rumors you'd heard about the person standing to the left of the Princess.
Who'd apparently created the machine, that had detected the vibranium, that was located outside the Talokan city walls. " Oh shit, behind you!" The smaller girl shouted frantically.
Alerting the Princess of your presence, as you approached the both of them slowly. With wide eyes full of curiosity and astonishment. And a bit of amusement, as well? At the sight of how afraid the girl who shouted had looked, once you made your way directly in front of both of them.
With a blank expression settled over your features, and crossed arms. That soon unfolded and went down by your sides. As you extended out your right arm, with your hand held out.
" Hi." You said slowly, gazing upwards at the Princess. " I'm, Y/N."
" And you must be the scientist, who created the machine that detected our vibranium?" You turned your head in her direction next, feeling a small smile tug at the corners of your lips. At the sight of how much more afraid she looked now? Than she did just a moment ago. When you were beginning to approach them, after entering inside the cell.
" I made that machine for class man, and I had no idea that the U.S were going to use it to detect vibranium." She held her hands up in surrender, stepping behind the Princess shortly after making that statement.
" I-it was just a class project–"
" And I didn't mean to upset anybody." Continuing to blabber on about her innocence and not knowing that the machine she built, was to detect vibranium? You found yourself letting out a light chuckle at how frantic she'd gotten.
Before extending your hand out to the both of them once more. " I'm not angry." You told her, speaking in a light voice.
" Namor might be angry? But I'm not angry at you."
" And I'm sorry that you're in this situation. Because it's fairly obvious that you're innocent and knew nothing about the machine, being used by the U.S? But I'm not here to bring any harm unto either of you."
" Then why are you here?" The princess muttered out questioningly, raising her eyebrows at you in suspicion.
" To meet and greet you properly." You answered quickly, halting in your footsteps when she stepped back away from you, when she had felt that you were getting far too close.
" Meet me?" She let out a chuckle next, tilting her head towards the side.
" Yes." You nodded your head up and down, continuing to keep your eyes locked with hers.
" I've never met anyone from the surface world before, well? I have actually. But it was a U.S soldier who almost killed me. So, I guess that doesn't really count as actually meeting one and greeting them properly? Like how I'm trying to greet the two of you."
" But if my presence is making the two of you uncomfortable? I can leave." Turning on your heels, you let out a deep sigh. Feeling foolish all of a sudden for coming down here, and thinking that the two of them would be delighted to see you?
When you were nothing but a stranger, who lived in a place that neither of them would be able to survive in. With a completely different appearance than they had as well, but even still? You had hoped that they'd be a bit more welcoming.
Seeing how they weren't so uptight, with the guards who were currently still inside, before you approached them. " No..wait." You paused immediately upon hearing that, with your backside still facing the two of them.
" I am, Princess Shuri. Of Wakanda." She spoke aloud. " Daughter of Queen Ramonda, and King T'Chaka."
" It's a pleasure to meet you, your highness." You turned back around facing her, proceeding to bow and greet her properly, like you were taught to do by Namor. When being in front of the presence of royalty.
" And it's also a pleasure to meet you too." You glanced over at the scientist next, hoping that she'd tell you her name. And quit being so afraid as if you'd hurt her? When in reality? All that you wanted to do was get to know them.
And possibly learn more about their life on the surface world? Before Namor decided to do whatever it was that he'd do with them. " I'm, Riri." She finally revealed her name, after a long awkward moment of silence.
" Riri Williams."
" Nice to meet you, Miss.Williams." Another smile settled over your face, as you clasped your hands together nervously, and averted your focus back towards the Princess. Who was already eyeing you intently, as if she was in deep thought about something.
" So.." You trailed off, taking a seat against the floor. " What's Wakanda like?"
" Because I've heard Namor mention, that the air there? Is pristine. And how the water is nothing compared to the water, here in our ocean."
" It's beautiful." The princess spoke quietly, smiling a bit to herself. At the thought of her homeland and the people who lived there. " Beautiful and peaceful."
" But your home here in Talokan? Is quite beautiful too." Her gaze returned to your face, when a small, cheerful laugh–had erupted from the back part of your throat. Which puzzled her and Riri for a moment? As they wondered what is was, that you found so funny.
When Talokan, was just as beautiful and full of joyful individuals? Like Wakanda.
" Have I said something that's amused you?" Shuri questioned, with confusion settled across her features. " No, and yes." You answered, taking this time to pick with the bottom part of your mouth mask, that had covered up your mouth and nose.
With water being on the inside, that allowed you to breathe properly. 
" You don't think that Talokan is beautiful?" There was a hint of amusement and disbelief in Shuri's tone. As she watched you closely, looking as if she were trying to read you. And figure out why you had given the response you did.
" I do." You nodded. " But some of the people here? Aren't quite as joyous and kind as you think." Mumbling the last part of your words so lowly, that both the Princess and scientists had glanced at one another afterwards. As a way to see if either of them had heard what you said.
Made you laugh for what felt like the thousandth time, as you rose to your feet again slowly. And smiled cheekily at the both of them, before repeating yourself. Once you saw how stressed they both had looked, while trying to decipher what you had muttered out moments ago.
" I love being from Talokan, and living underwater. With the fish and whales, and all other beings that exists here. But..sometimes? It gets a bit overwhelming. Trying to exist inside a place, where you'll never be able to fit in or be accepted? Regardless of how much you try to make other's, see you as an equal."
Opening up about your troubles to strangers? Had never been something you'd think you'd ever do. With how much other Talokanil people your age? Had judged you off the mistakes you've made. While trying to be as great as Namora, who never had to try too hard, to be respected or treated fairly.
Unlike you, on the other hand? Who went through hell and back, just to have someone smile at you. Or acknowledge your existence, on the days that you walked alongside of your sister, with eyes full of hope and admiration? That you could be as gifted as she was some day.
And be the one that Namor called out to, for help and to be a listening ear. But of course? You knew that those dreams of being as great as Namora, Attuma, or any other guard here? Would never be an actual reality.
Because you were ungifted. And far too incompetent, to be as great as any of them were.
" I know how that feels." Riri glanced up at you, with eyes full of sincerity. " To want to be accepted and fit in with others? To the point that you work yourself to death and jump over mountains, just to please them? When all they'll do is reject you and laugh in the end."
" But you wanna know what helped me get through that?"
" Yes, please." You nodded eagerly, with eyes full of desperation.
" I said fuck them, and chose to do what it was that I wanted. Because I realized that being like others? Was lame as hell and unoriginal. When I could just be in my own lane. While doing something that made me genuinely happy? Instead of forcing myself to be someone? I knew that I wasn't."
Her words of advice were kind, as she flashed you a warm smile. Before placing her hand atop your shoulder hesitantly. Causing fresh tears to rush to the brim of your eyelids. As you threw your arms around her tightly. Which had caught both her and the Princess completely off guard.
But she returned the gesture despite that, making your heart pump with happiness. For what felt like the first time in forever. Being that for once in such a long time? You had been seen and understood for who you were, without having to do anything to show them that you were worthy of receiving their kindness and respect.
" Thank you." You sniffled, stepping back from the hug after a while. With your hands wiping away at the tears, that were falling continuously down your cheeks. 
" So, so much."
" No problem." She patted your shoulder once more, offering you the sleeve of the robe she wore, to clean your face. Causing you to smile and shake your head, declining. Before you shifted your focus back towards the Princess.
Feeling your stomach go into knots, when the corners of her lips curved upwards. And she smiled at you. Allowing her perfect, pearly white teeth to be seen. And the sharpness of her jaw to pop out, and catch your attention. Sending you shying away from her gaze and inching near the exit of the cave, so you could leave.
And be gone, before Namora or even worse? Namor showed up unexpectedly.
" It was a pleasure meeting the two of you." Turning around a final time, to face them and wave goodbye. You couldn't help but avert your gaze back to Shuri. Who had already been watching you as you were proceeding to leave.
With an unreadable look in her eyes, that had left you wondering what she might've been thinking about? But you figured that there was a possibility she could be homesick? Since she had been taken and brought into a place, full of people and things, that she wasn't so familiar with.
" Same to you, entle." Shuri was the first to speak back, a surge of confidence and amusement filling her body. As she watched your brows knit together in confusion, while you tried to figure out what it was, that she had said to you meant.
Translation: Beautiful.
" And perhaps maybe one day, if you're allowed and granted access to leave? Then you can come to Wakanda and visit. So I can show you just how beautiful and pristine, the air is there."
Nodding on that note, you said a quick 'yes', with a voice full of excitement. Hoping and praying to the God's, that Namor would allow you to visit her? And experience being in another place, that was far more different and clearly advanced than here? Seeing how the black beads on the bracelet, that was wrapped around the Princess's wrist? Began to glow a light blue color.
Which you're assuming she hadn't noticed? With how closely she was eyeing you while smiling uncontrollably, with a smile so infectious and warm? That you found yourself returning the expression. And soon your cheeks began to grow sore, with how widely you had spread your lips, to mirror her exact grin.
" The two of you, might as well go ahead and fuck each other. Instead of doing the shit with your eyes." Riri let out an exasperated sigh, plopping down to take a seat against the cot that was behind her.
Fuck? You thought to yourself with a frown. Growing confused at what the smaller girl had meant. As you wondered why the Princess had began shooting her a glare, with a face full of what looked like embarrassment?
" Please excuse Miss.Williams, vulgar language." Shuri turned back around to face you, speaking in an apologetic tone. " She has a tendency of being very..blunt? And talking without thinking about what comes out of her mouth."
" If I'm being honest? I have no idea what she said even means, but I have to get going now. And I hope to see the two of you again soon? If Namor grants me access to leave, that is. Oh, and Riri?"
Your eyes glanced over your shoulder, watching as she sat up from her slouched position and raised an eyebrow questioningly. " I hope Namor forgives you, and allows you to go home."
" I hope he allows the both of you, to be reunited with your families. Because the two of you are far too kind, to be held here? When neither of you have done anything wrong."
And with that, you walked away. After waving goodbye a final time. Feeling much more lighter and happy? After being in their presence and experiencing their kindhearted energy. Which was something you were going to miss, very much.
Had Namor decided to get rid of them, like he'd been telling Namora he would do? If the Princess hadn't complied with whatever wishes he had. For Riri, the scientist.
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You're awoken out of your slumber, by a rough hand being pushed against your shoulder. Which causes your body to shoot up, and your eyes to open on automatic. As you rubbed your hands against them lightly, trying to get used to the bright lighting that was now on in your quarters. Causing you to squint slightly, and rise your body upwards from it's curled position.
When you made out Namora and Namor's faces, being not too far away from your bed. As looks of anger and dissatisfaction? Were evident in their intense gaze upon you.
" Jump'éel guardia kíinsa'abij le áak'aba' tuméen juntúul intruso." Namora approached the side of your bed, urging you to stand. Without caring about how rough she was handling you. As you struggled to catch your balance, after she'd shoved you onto your knees. Allowing you to be directly in front of Namor.
Translation: A guard was killed this evening by an intruder.
Who had stooped down to meet your level, as he cupped your chin tightly. And gave it a light squeeze, making you squeeze your eyes shut in fear of what he'd do to you? After he opened his mouth and spoke the next words.
" Ba'ax seguramente k'a'abéet a yaantal jump'éel extraña inclinación? Ka lela' p'u'ujul, in waal."
 Translation: You surely must have a strange penchant? When it comes to upsetting me, my child."
" And before you deny being anywhere near the caves where the cells are, this evening? It has already been told to me? That you were there. So please, Y/N? Make this easy for all of us. And most importantly? Yourself. And tell me exactly why, you were seen conversing with the Princess and the scientist? In the first place."
Each of his words hit you like a bullet, with how harshly he was speaking. All while keeping a neutral like facial expression present, which honestly? Had to be one of the things that you feared about him the most. The way he could be threatening your life? And not look angry or frustrated.
Unlike Namora? Who allowed all of her rage she felt right now? To be showcased off. So you'd be able to know that she was pissed at you, and of course? Disappointed–as always.
" In ajawo', Sa'asik in, Béet." You pleaded, turning your head away in discomfort, when his grip on your chin had tightened.
" I was only curious and I wanted to meet them." You added.
Translation: My king, please forgive me.
" I knew nothing about the Wakandan's plan, to come and retrieve them. In ts'aiktech in jach t'aan, I knew nothing about it!"
Translation: I swear to you.
" I see." Namor finally spoke, as he released the grip he had on your chin. Which made you collapse backwards and fall against the cool floor. As you scooted away from him near your bedside. With hot tears rolling down your cheeks, and ragged, labored breathing. 
" And the air in Wakanda? Was very pristine." Pausing in his footsteps, he snapped his finger loudly. Making Namora rush towards his side, eager to comply with whatever task, he was proceeding to ask of her.
" Beetik a querida kiik utia'al sáamal." Namor's eyes peered down at you from the side, as you continued to cry uncontrollably. Cradling the bottom part of your chin, as your heart rate began to accelerate, upon hearing his words.
Translation: Prepare your loving sister for tomorrow.
The demanding request left both you and Namora, staring up at him in confusion. While he on the other hand, kept his same neutral like expression present. Pointing over at you as he eyed Namora closely, and waited for her to come to your side like he'd requested.
" Beetik u ba'ax, in Ajaw?" The confusion in Namora's voice was evident, as she approached your side slowly. Despite the fact that you could tell, she wanted nothing but to grab you up by the chin herself? And scold you for being so foolish and careless, as if you sneaking down to the caves, to talk to the prisoners? Wouldn't have been discovered.
Translation: Prepare her for what, my king?
" Y/N, mentioned her distaste for living in Talokan to the Princess." Namor announced what you had mentioned to Shuri and Riri aloud, the statement making Namora crane her neck. And snap her head down in your direction, which allowed you to almost feel how much her anger was beginning to radiate from off of her body.
" I-i never said I hated it? I-i just said th–"
" Chan tonta, Bix a atreves t'aan k'aas u k wotoch!" Namora raised her voice, as she gripped the bottom of your chin, forcing you to face her. Without caring about the fact that the gesture was starting to hurt you.
Translation: You foolish little girl, how dare you speak badly of our home!
" Teech jump'éel su'utalil!" Her shouting continued, and her choice of words had caused your chest to ache. As you widened your eyes and stilled your breathing. At the sound of a choked out sob erupting from your mouth, following light sniffing.
Translation: You are a disgrace!
" N-namora, please." Seeing your sister this angry with you? Was a sight you hadn't witnessed in a while. But just hearing her say that you were a disgrace? While looking at you as if she was ashamed to even be related to you? Had caused what little bit of hope you had of the two of you rekindling your bond? Shatter into millions of pieces, like broken glass from a mirror that had been cracked.
" Enough!" Finally speaking again, after allowing Namora to tear you apart with her words? Namor had motioned her back beside him, causing her to let go of your chin, all while adding a bit of force as she did so. Which made your head fly back and bump into the edge of your bed, leaving a throbbing sensation present on the left side of your head.
" Y/N?" 
" Y-yes, K'uk'ulkan?" You stammered out nervously, rising up to your feet with your chest puffed out. As you awaited for him to say what he wanted from you. " Come." He curved his index finger, beckoning for you to walk towards him.
And you did so slowly, with your hands clasped together tightly, as they shook and began sweating a bit? After you finally made your way in front of him, and his intense, intimidating eyes? Were now gazing down at you.
" Tomorrow? We will be going to Wakanda for revenge." He started off slowly, causing you to swallow hardly, and just nod. " And the Queen and scientist? Will be killed."
" Which will leave the Princess, with no choice but to be crowned Queen. And that will put us one step closer? To getting Wakanda to form an alliance with us, so we can go to war with the surface world."
" And I know what you're thinking, my child." A deep chuckle left his lips, as he began circling you like he'd done earlier. " You're thinking that the Princess won't comply?"
" And that she'll refuse my offer? Because the death of her sweet, loving Mother. Am I correct, Y/N?"
Shrugging your shoulders, you muttered out ' I'm not sure' incoherently. Feeling what little of a heart you had left? Break for Shuri. At the mention of Namor, admitting that he was preparing to murder her Mother on tomorrow, after they had just been reunited this evening.
" Ah, I see." His circling around you stopped abruptly, making you glance up at him with glossy eyes and raised brows. While Namora stood off towards the side, continuing to stare at you with nothing but disgust and disappointment, and if you weren't mistaken?
A look of hate.
" I can sense your pity for the Princess, Y/N. And I know that this is a lot of information to take in? And that you're probably angry with me, for preparing our soldiers to tear down the home, in which your new found friend lives? But I warned her Mother, before their people came and killed one of ours."
" So whatever pity or sadness you feel for them? Lose it!" Flinching from his tone as he shouted at you? You dropped your head in shame, struggling to keep back your sobs when he opened his mouth and spoke his last words, before proceeding to leave from out of your quarters.
" People from the surface world? Only care about themselves, Y/N. And as pure hearted as you are? I apologize in advance for what I'm about to request of you. But just know? That you refusing my command? Will leave me with no choice but to kill you."
There it was again, you thought to yourself. As you reflected on how your body had felt? When he had threatened to kill you earlier today, with no hint of remorse in his tone as he did it. And as you looked over at Namora, she didn't seem the slightest bit phased about Namor's threat to end your life either.
And that there? Had stung, and before you knew it? You were crumbling right in front of both of them. Not caring about how weak you may have looked, as you wept uncontrollably. With loud, painful, sobs escaping from out your mouth.
" Tomorrow when we go to Wakanda? You will be accompanying us. And when we get there? Your job is to find the Princess, and convince her to accept my offer to form an alliance with our people. So that Wakanda and us Talokanils, can go to war with the surface world together."
" And I'm also aware, that after I kill her Mother and the scientist? That she will not be too elated to have you in her presence. And maybe? She'll have you thrown into a cell where you'll be held as a prisoner? But despite that possibility? Your job is to convince her to join me."
" Ka wa leti' u niega?" You choked on your words, staring up at him with anger. That you weren't afraid to mask away, like you'd normally do. When he had taken it upon himself to make you feel in the exact same way, that Namora would make you feel.
Which was worthless. And like your feelings about things? Didn't matter.
Translation: And if she refuses?
" Then you sing to her, and you make her agree." He stated sternly, referring to your siren abilities, that helped you perform hypnosis. And place someone under a trance, that would beckon them to you, and allow you to be in complete control of them.
" Do I make myself clear?" Inching near the exit of your room, he paused in his footsteps. Refusing to leave, to go and alert the soldiers of their task for tomorrow. Until you spoke up and answered him.
" Yes, K'uk'ulkan." You said quietly, drying at your eyes with the palm of your hands.
" I understand."
Inching back towards your bed, when he remained silent. And continued to stand in your doorway, you shot Namora a look of hurt. Hoping that she'd feel guilty for not having your back, in the way that you tried to have hers–despite your lack to be as dexterous as she was?
But you knew that deep down? She didn't care. And that she'd rather watch you fail and be punished, than to assist you in being better at the things you weren't as good at.
" Oh, and Y/N?" Namor said your name lowly, as he was halfway out of your quarters.
" Yes, K'uk'ulkan?"
" You mentioned that you wished to be granted access to visit Wakanda? So despite your mission? I hope you take the initiative to enjoy your time away from Talokan. Because after one week time has passes, and I return ready to conquer the surface world? You'll never be able to leave these waters again."
" So enjoy your stay, In ch'ujuk ch'úupalo' yéetel talamilo'ob." He laughed menacingly, turning around to face you fully with a look of amusement present.
Translation: My sweet troubled child.
" And please do not fail to disappoint me, Y/N. Because if you do? Then you'll leave me with no choice, but to put you out of your misery. Like you've so desperately been wanting for the past year."
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Brainrot Housekeeping: Updated Schedule!
Hi friends! I've got a whole message under the cut, but here's the important part regarding this blog's new content schedule:
Saturdays: mini-hcs Sundays: answering asks (& maybe some rambles?) Mondays: full-hc Tuesdays: answering asks (& maybe some shitposts?) Wednesdays: Vesuvia Weekly Thursdays & Fridays: rest
You might see some polls showing up in the next week or so about new content types - if you're interested, feel free to vote! ^.^ More under the cut:
While I haven't hit rock bottom, I've been getting some symptoms of burnout recently and I'd like to avoid completely running myself into the ground XD
This blog has really pushed me to see what kind of creativity I have, especially just how much work I'm able to produce and sustain. I thought I'd get tired and burn out at two months tops, and it's been over and year and I have no immediate plans to stop! However, taking a look at my own system right now, I do think I need to slow down.
To be honest, fanwork isn't something I've been doing a long time - this tumblr blog is the only fandom creative stuff I've ever done! Before that, most of the things I created were originals - music, art, and of course, writing (though I haven't touched my sketchbook/paints in forever and I haven't done any sightreading in years - whoops).
It gets hard to keep your muscles moving when you only move them in one direction. As much as I love writing headcanons for the M6 in response to people's prompts, there is so much else my mind can do that it misses having the space for. Which brings me to the reason for this schedule adjustment - I miss having that creative freedom.
I still greatly enjoy writing headcanons for you guys and participating in the fandom, and I don't plan to stop anytime soon. However, I want to take some time back to get back into frolicking in the stuff my own brain comes up with, and making space for that to grow into something real.
The questions I need to figure out now are 1) how much time is it going to take me to get my full capacity back? and 2) should I keep this as a purely Arcana blog, or expand it for all my creative work?
If you've read this far, you have my sincerest gratitude. I'll see you guys tomorrow :)
Cheers!
brainrot
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front-facing-pokemon · 4 months
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Yes, Honedge!
Something i'd like to point out about its face:
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It doesn't have a goofy face, the holes in the scabbard just make it look that way. In reality, it just has a single eye.
With that in mind, could you please do a version without the scabbard?
iiii figured this was common knowledge enough to not warrant an additional form, but alright:
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some of the guard disappeared but it's okay. i never even saw that part of the scabbard as a face—the blue eye is very obviously an eye. i don't know if anyone actually thought that was its face. however, i do find it interesting that even after removing the scabbard textures, it still has textures for that "face" remaining:
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which implies it's a face more than anything i've seen of the matter before this point
anyway there's so many asks in the box right now so let's just go through all of them:
in order from oldest to newest, here we go:
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this is true. most of the models are shiny, unless they have a "colladamax" variant
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ahh it's fine. i considered it might have been a request but i also doubted it considering pangoro was literally next so i assumed you were just excited. me complaining about requests was unrelated—another ask i got around the same time
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well then maybe it's not a bad thing. you certainly phrased it like one, it seems, but that might just be unfortunate connotations with the way you said it? glad we could clear up the confusion i guess
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we do need more snakes, but i also like the bipedal pokémon, as a furry. back when everyone was begging sprigatito not to stand up, i saw through their thinly-veiled furry hate and was begging sprigatito to go against the grain and stand up anyway. and then they did and now meowscarada is one of my favorite pokémon. get fucked, normies (i am sorry for saying this)
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↑ i didn't know this until i looked it up! this is interesting. stuff like the male version learning misty terrain but the female version learning more type coverage. this is very strange but i like it. only girls can use magical leaf and charge beam sorry boys
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thank you! i can explain it. it is because pokémon are getting very close and staring at you as for the inspiration for this blog, it was mostly snivy. i remember one day thinking that snivy's big nose would make it look very silly from the front, and being like "damn. someone should compile a list of what every pokémon looks like from the front. damn. that would make a good tumblr blog bc some of those would be really funny. damn. i should do that" and then i did. but that was back in 2020—pretty soon after i ended up starting college which didn't allot me a lot of time for updating this blog, and although i kept swearing i'd go back, somewhat soon after that i went through a breakup and just wanted to take a while for myself. a bit after that, tumblr user sewatari reblogged one of the posts on this blog again (the weedle post, i believe?) and singlehandedly revived this blog by reminding me that they still cared about it. and that's fucking awesome?? tbh?? so thank them for this blog's continued existence. if you scroll waaaayyyy back far enough in the archive, you'll probably see that miniature saga. the images back from the first gen and onwards were a little bit icky as i got grips on how to actually go about this blog and manipulate the models in the right way to get them to work, which is why i can never really recommend folks scroll all the way back in the blog, but it's a look back into my own personal history, i suppose
apologies for breaking the magic, although i don't think anyone keeps up with the "i am a pokémon taking real live pictures of other pokémon with the camera right in their face" lore because no one pays attention to the backgrounds of the images (which used to change much more than they do now, but that's just because no one ever noticed or pointed them out. the background is not the focus of the image—it's the pokémon itself; thus, why look at the background? staging the pokémon in a setting used to be important to me, but now i don't worry about it and cycle between the same few backgrounds) or the asks, really. it's the commentary in the tags everyone comes here for, of course
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she's a fully-grown woman with a house
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then you'll love the top of this post
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they probably wouldn't think it looks like anything because they aren't familiar with what honedge looks like so they would just picture nothing in their head. or they would just make up what they Think honedge might look like based on its name, or something, and then imagine that front-facing
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i don't know which one of these is the real one. but we have some discrepancy here. also apparently this is a wider-spread belief than i thought
OKAY. i think that's all of them. if you read all the way here to the end, that's. powerful. for those of you who stuck around this long, i'm live right now with a test stream having some breakfast and playing pokémon. come join in, if you're bored this morning!
edit: it's over but i'll probably do it again some time, more likely at a more reasonable hour next time. considering the idea of doing a fully voiced pmd series—perhaps that'll be the next stream. or i'll leave another test one for it. who knows!
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