#this is the first and the last time i am going to address this on here

[hqbaby]

fourteen — kiss me again

mess it up — gojo x reader & sukuna x reader

⁀➴ when i told you i’m fine, you were lied to. when the love of your life falls for someone else, you decide to move on—by pretending to date your best friend, the campus fuckboy.

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 2k content. profanity, sexual content [elevator sex, fingering, oral f receiving]

Once the adrenaline of the last few minutes has dissipated, you and Sukuna find yourselves painfully awkward as you stand in the elevator, placing a respectful distance between the two of you.

“How—”

“Do—”

You both stop talking, looking at each other with nervous smiles. You laugh to try and ease the tension, but somehow it only makes it worse.

He nods at you, wringing his hands. “You go first.”

You look away. “Nothing,” you say. “I was just gonna ask how—”

The lights go out around you and the elevator comes to a sudden halt. You stumble at the unexpected stop, but Sukuna grabs you before you fall.

“Did it just—”

“—stop? Yeah,” you say, squinting your eyes as they adjust to the darkness. “The power’s been fluctuating recently and the elevator’s been doing this.”

You become acutely aware of the fact that you’re pressed flush against your best friend’s chest, so you right yourself and pull back, his reluctant arm loosening its grip on you.

“How long does it usually last?” he asks.

“Not more than ten minutes,” you tell him. The ache of your legs makes itself known and you sit on the floor. There’s no use standing while you wait. “Sorry about this.”

You can see him shake his head, your eyes adjusting to the dark. “It’s fine,” he says, carefully sitting down next to you. He’s still pointedly far away from you. Not too much to be strange, but enough to not touch you, even by accident. “I guess we wait.”

You hum. “I guess.”

The two of you sit on the floor of the tiny box, occasionally shifting to stretch your legs, to look at your hands. The tension is terribly apparent, but neither of you has the nerve to address it. Every time you look over at Sukuna, he looks away, and when he tries to look at you, you turn to your side.

This little song and dance goes on for a while until—

“Do you just wanna talk about the kiss?” he asks bluntly.

You let out a relieved groan. “Yes please,” you say, scooching closer to him. “So? What did you think?”

He snorts, peering at you as you come close enough to brush your shoulders against his. “Of the kiss?”

“Yeah,” you say. “Am I a good kisser? I’ve never really asked anyone that before because it’s pathetic, but I’ve been dying to know.”

“I dunno,” he says teasingly. “Pretty sure I carried the kiss.”

You punch his shoulder. “You did not.”

“Felt that way to me.”

“You’re such a loser,” you tell him. You grab his shoulder and shake him around a little. “Tell me, tell me, tell me.”

He plucks your hand off and interlaces it with his. A romantic gesture with anyone else, but a regular occurrence between the two of you. “You know, you’re a really annoying person.”

“Fuck you. You love me.”

His grip on your hand goes slack for a second as he looks away. You know that it’s dark right now and there’s really not much to see, but you spy the catch in his breath. You see the way he grows skittish as you tighten your hold on his hand. And there’s another thing, even more miniscule but incredibly obvious to you.

“Are you blushing?” you say loudly.

He pulls his hand away from yours and snarls at you. “What the fuck?”

“You are!” you say with a gasp. You point a finger at him, all childish and giddy. “You’re fucking—”

You’re cut off by his lips on yours. It’s harsher than last time. A stark contrast to the gentle nervousness of your last kiss. This time, it’s rough and wet and messy. And you hate to say it, but it’s incredibly hot.

You kiss him back, your hands going to his hair as he finds your hips, pulling you closer to him. You’re so caught up in the feverish haze of it all that it takes you a while to hear the voice screaming in the back of your head. What are you doing?

You press your hands to his chest and push him away. You blink at him in the dark, short breaths leaving your lips as you find him staring at you with an intensity you don’t think you’ve ever seen before.

“Sukuna,” you say quietly. “Are you sure about this?”

His eyes flick over to your lips then back to your own eyes, staring at him all wide and uncertain. “I—I don’t—sorry,” he says. “Do you not—Do you not want to?”

There’s something so sweet about the way he stumbles over his words, his hold on your hips going from confidently sexy to horrifyingly self aware. He leans back with parted lips. It’s like he’s waiting for your rejection, waiting for you to turn him down.

You lift a hand to cup his cheek and you chuckle. “I want to,” you whisper, leaning closer until your eyelashes flutter against his. “I just… this is a lot for me.”

“I know, I know,” he reassures you. His hand rubs your hips in small soothing circles as he looks at you sheepishly. “This is a lot for me too.”

You close your eyes and brush your lips against his. “Kiss me again?”

You hear him laugh. “Anything for you, tiger.”

The kiss is tender this time. Closer to your first kiss, but with the assurance that this is something you both want. You melt against him, hands roaming through his hair, across his shoulders, over the plane of his chest. He touches you softly, letting his fingers linger on the small of your back, up your spine, behind your neck.

Kissing Sukuna is like breathing, catching a second wind again and again with every touch of your lips to his.

You move against him, rocking your hips gently, little waves touching the shore. His tongue slips out and brushes against the bottom of your lip, a silent request that you indulge. Your hands are on his neck now, playing the short strand of hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him ever so close to you.

His touch trails down your back and lands on your thighs, fingers lifting the fabric of your skirt to touch your burning skin. His hands rub your skin, every now and then getting close to the space between your thighs, but never touching, never giving you what you really want. He’s so careful, so sensitive to doing the right thing and as much as you want to applaud him for it, you can feel the heat growing in your core. The frustration beginning to inch through your bones,

You detach your mouth from his and ever so quietly, you ask, “‘Kuna, can you—can you touch me?”

His hands graze over the fabric of your panties. “Here?” he asks softly, slipping a finger over the wet fabric.

A moan escapes your lips at the sudden contact and you hold on tight to him. “Yes,” you say. “Please.”

“You don’t need to beg, tiger,” he tells you. He pushes the fabric to the side and runs his finger along the stripe of your cunt. “All you gotta do is ask.”

He moves his mouth back to kiss you as he slips a finger inside of you, swallowing your whimpers. “Fuck, you’re already so wet,” he says, more to himself than to you. He presses his thumb on your clit, forcing a squeal out of you as he drags his finger in and out, in and out. “Do you like that, tiger?”

You press your face into the crook of his neck, panting as he works between your legs. “More, ‘Kuna.”

“Greedy girl,” he murmurs as he kisses your head. “I’ll give you more. I’ll give you everything.”

He pulls his hand off of you and you jerk back in confusion at the sudden loss of contact. “What—”

He guides you backwards and makes you sit on your knees. You place your hands on the floor behind you to prop you up, raising a brow in confusion. Just as you’re about to ask him what he’s doing, he ducks his head between your thighs, pushing your skirt up as he laps at your pussy.

“Oh shit,” you gasp, throwing your head back as his tongue sucks at your clit. Your hands fly to his hair and you pull, moaning when he slots a finger back inside you.

He pushes the digit deeper and curls it against a spot that sends you reeling. “Right there?” he asks, still intent on eating you out.

You keen with every move, with every brush of his finger against your walls, every kiss of his tongue on your throbbing clit. It’s too much, it’s not enough. The only thing on your mind is Sukuna, Sukuna, Sukuna.

“Are you close, tiger?” he asks. He slides a second finger into you and you moan, your hold on his hair only growing tighter. “You gonna come for me?”

You’re so caught up in your pleasure that the only thing you can do is nod and whimper. “‘Kuna, I’m so close,” you tell him. “Gonna come for you.”

“That’s my girl,” he says. He pulls his mouth off of you and replaces it with his thumb, rolling your clit beneath his finger as the other two continue to curl inside of you. He pressed his lips to the span of skin on your stomach where your shirt rides up. “Give me a kiss, tiger. Please.”

You open your eyes and groan at the sight of his cheek pressed to your stomach, looking at you with pleading eyes as his finger moves sinfully between your legs. You sit up, wincing as the movement sends his fingers diving deeper into you, and you grab his collar, pulling him closer to kiss you.

The kiss is more heated now, what with you getting closer and closer to your high, but it’s just as sweet. Just as gentle as earlier.

He moves his unoccupied hand to your neck, holding you close to him. “Come for me, tiger,” he sighs against your lips. “Want my girl to come for me.”

His words send you over the edge, a wanton moan tumbling out of your lips as you grab his collar, the only thing grounding you as your high descends on you, all intense and hot and positively electric.

Sukuna kisses you through your high, moving his hand from your neck to your back, fingers drawing up and down your spine.

When your orgasm fades, you pull your lips away from his and find him smiling at you. Not his usual teasing smirk, not his smug little grin, a smile of pure unadulterated joy.

“You good?” he asks, drawing his hands away from between your legs and letting them settle on your waist.

You giggle and nod. “I’m good.”

The two of you end up laughing, out of relief mostly but also a happiness that neither of you thought was possible. You settle on Sukuna’s lap, still facing him as he holds you to his chest, soaking in every bit of your presence, your touch, your everything.

“Thank fuck for broken elevators,” he muses aloud.

You chuckle. “Yeah,” you say, tilting your head to look at him. “Thanks for always showing up when I need you.”

He pecks your cheek, still smiling. “Anytime, tiger.”

You snuggle into him, wrapping your legs around his waist as you place your head on his shoulder. You’re about to close your eyes when you feel something poking at your ass—the something being his painfully hard dick.

“Is that…?” you ask, unmoving.

“Yup,” he says, voice a little strained.

“Do you want me to—”

“Nope.” Sukuna clears his throat. “Let’s, uh, wait to get to your apartment. Just ignore it.”

“It’s kinda hard to ignore.”

“Ignore it, tiger,” he says again, holding you tight so you don’t make any sudden moves. “It can—yeah, it can wait.”

You smile into his shoulder. “Whatever you say, ‘Kuna. Whatever you say.”

notes. this is for all the sukuna girlies 😩

#hqbaby.miu #hqbaby #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #gojo #gojo x reader #sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna smut

[mulderscully]

hey, everyone.

this is the longest break i've taken from tumblr and it's been nice to clear my head. i'm gonna try to stay away a few more days but i don't want anyone to think i'm ignoring their asks or gifsets i was tagged in.

the reason i decided to take a break is because there is one specific rwr/b person who has been borderline harassing me. a few weeks ago this person sent me an anon abt how nick hates the movie etc, whatever, then sent me another ask immediately after sent me a message with anon off by accident. the blog was completely empty, and to me, obviously someone from twitter trying to start drama.

i blocked the anon and the blank account.

then a few nights ago nick's team archived around 70 posts from his instagram including some rw/rb related posts. an anon sent me a message about how nick deleted "almost everything" related to the film and that they thought the sequel was gonna be cancelled bc of that, completely leaving out that he/his team deleted a shitton of posts about other past projects as well, and that this clearly is not specific to anything.

i was pretty fed up at this point but not actively freaked out until the same anon sent me another message with anon off, from an empty blog, with the same url as the last one that i blocked with an added letter at the end. this means they remade their empty blog with a new email address to do this. that shit is weird and why i need to take a break.

i'm already really stressed. i work two jobs, i've been sick for a week and a half, and i'm just working through living with roomates for the first time after living in an abusive household half my life. fandom is meant to be fun, and i am not going to let weirdos ruin that for me.

i'm logging off again for a bit now, love you guys 💖

#personal

[darkness-follows]

F!Reader/ Boyd Crowder (Oneshot)

Smut!

Summary:

You deliver a package to Mr. Crowder not knowing the content of it could put you into a rather unfortunate situation...

Luckily for you, a man pointing a gun at you isn't a huge turn off.

Word count: 5,169 (I think)

TW warnings: Gun threat. Mention of a cut off hand (not yours or Boyd's!) Sexual choking. P in V sex. Unprotected sex (reader is on the pill). Creampie. Reader has a thing for assholes.

Enjoy my lovelies:

Working for a package delivery Service in Harlan you don't think about nothing much. Living a rather worry free kind of life, sure the crime rate has gone up a bit, rumors about what's really going on get shared. For some reason especially in your line of work, having to go from house to house and everything..- yet that still doesn't bother you nor stop you from delivering packages. A job is a job and you are quick and well paid for your time. One rather early morning a man comes into the warehouse, face barely visible, a cap pulled deep onto his face. Sunglasses and a beard. But that's a pretty ordinary look for Harlan men, you don't think twice about it.

The man pays in cash for a same day delivery, handing you a perfectly squared box and telling you the Address. Some Bar downtown Harlan.

You make the same day delivery, around 5 pm right at the end of your shift you push the door open to the bar, looking around for a moment. “Hello? Harlan delivery services. I am looking for a Mr…-” You have to check that again. “Crowder!” You announce.

Head turning to the sound of a door opening in the back, watching a rather attractive man step towards you. “I did not order anything.” Crowder says, and just the tone in his voice makes you frown a bit, no need to be rude here. “Makes sense, cause this was dropped off for you today” You hand him the Box and your clipboard to sign. He raises his eyebrows at you before he signs the paper, taking a rather big knife from his belt and cutting the Box open.

You did notice how he inspected it for something at first. Like a bomb or something. Ridiculous.

But once it's open a harsh smell hits the both of you, causing you to gag and turn away.

“What the fuck!” You hear the man yell, after you manage your gagging you take another look at the box.

“That's a hand.” You gasp, a fucking cut off hand showing a middle Finger. Rotting and everything. Jesus christ.

What you didn't expect was a gun shoved in your face. “What the fuck is this and who the hell are you?!” Crowder yells at you, causing you to flinch and raise your hands, dropping the clipboard.

“Just..- Just calm down please! I swear, I'm just a delivery person.” You say with a shaky voice.

"Bullshit.. Who sent you?!” He aggressively pushes the gun against your temple. God this is the scariest moment of your life, it's not helping in any way that the man pointing a gun at you looks so good doing it.

“Mr. Crowder, sir, I swear. There's an ID in my back pocket. Normally I wear that clipped to my shirt but this was my last delivery for the day.” You sigh. If only you would have left it where it was, maybe he wouldn't threaten you then.

Your breath catches in your throat uncomfortably when he grabs your arm and turns you around. Pushing you face first into the wall. His hand pats you down until he finds the ID Clip in your pocket. Checking it once…twice..hell even three times.

“Who gave this to you?” You hear the click of his gun and then slowly dare to turn and look at him again, watching him put the gun back into his belt and covering it with his shirt.

But you are still shaking, trying to catch your breath. Normally you are a rather relaxed woman but today? Moment like that? You fear this is a panic attack.

“It uh..- it was….- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, please don't kill me when I tell you, god please.” You try to calm yourself down but he shoved a gun in your face moments ago.

“God ain't got a whole lot to do with that sugar, sit down” Boyd Crowder points at the barstool.

“Mr. Crowder I really am trying to remember, I'm sorry.” You take a seat even though every fiber in your body tells you not to trust him or do anything he says.

“That's on me, I scared ya, I'm sorry.” Boyd steps behind the bar, grabbing two glasses and pouring two big shots of whisky into them. Pushing the glass over to you. “Have a drink sweetheart, calm down, try to remember.” He nods towards you.

With a shaky hand you grab the drink, downing the whole thing.

“Atta girl” Boyd smirks wide. “And call me Boyd please, I won't point that gun at you again, scouts god damn honor” He chuckles.

You nod, twirling the glas around in your hand.

“This morning a man stepped into the warehouse. Gave me a Personal delivery. He was uh, he was white, mid or maybe…late forties.” You watch him pour you another.

“He had a really big beard, like in volume. Big black sunglasses and a green fishing hat pulled all the way down on his forehead. That's all I saw of him, I swear, he didn't give me a Name he paid in Cash.”

“Fuck” Boyd sighs, he's got an idea who it was. And that's bad. Worse is not knowing whos fucking hand that is. And what's he gonna do with her? Can't risk Raylan having a little chat with her..

“Sounded local?” Boyd asks, taking a good sip of his own drink.

You nod. That man sounded very local, the born and raised here kind actually.

But you still feel on edge, what if Boyd decides to get rid of you? Now that you told him what you know. “Mr…-” You huff, correcting yourself “Boyd? Please just let me go, I know people always say that but I swear I won't say a word. Nothing. To nobody! Not about the hand or the guy who gave me the package.. as far as my log goes.. I went home early and didn't deliver anything else to anyone.” His eyes are Intimidating.

He's got something really fucking crazy about him, the teeth, the hair, the eyes.. it's got you on your toes and as much as you hate to admit it..- he's also really handsome. Threatening. Might really kill you. But hot.

Boyd thinks on it for a moment, eyeing the ID card he pulled from you.

“Can't afford any risks right now..” He mumbles to himself.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuck.

You don't leave him out of your sight when he walks around the bar, hand on his back where you know his gun is.

FUCK!

He pulls the gun out and points it at your chin, pushing himself closer to you.

“I swear..please..I can keep my mouth shut I promise” You whisper, searching his eyes.

His face moves strangely closer to yours, almost as if he's trying to lean in for a kiss..and then you hear the click of the trigger.

Empty.

“Holy shit..” You gasp, staring at him.

“Wasn't loaded sweetheart, couldn't find the full magazine in time when you walked in here” He smirks. “Forgot to reload last time” He shrugs, putting the gun onto the bar counter.

‘Last time’

That alone right there should make you storm out of that fucking Bar. But instead your shaky hands just grab your drink, downing the whole thing before you lean in and push your lips roughly onto his. A kiss pumped with adrenaline and tasting of whisky.

You truly don't know what drove you to do this, just the relief? Of knowing you won't die today. Of knowing you were never in any real danger when he pointed it at you?

The Booze? A way of saying ‘Hey thank you for not actually blowing my brains out?’

It was probably all of the above.

You turn to break the kiss, jumping off the bar stool to leave.

Boyd couldn't be more confused and surprised but that kiss? That kind of kiss is from his exact type of woman, he felt that..

So when he sees you leaving his hand grabs your wrist, it's a harsh tug, it makes you stumble back a little. You use the slight force of the pull to push yourself against him, kissing him harder and deeper this time.

You kiss each other breathless, moaning deeply when your tongues press together.

His hands grab a hold of your hips and slowly the realization after that adrenaline kick sets in. You are hardcore making out with a guy who not only had a cut off, flipped off Hand delivered to him but also pointed a gun at you ‘loaded or not’ the fear was real to you.

It takes some force to pull away from him, holding him at a distance by pressing your hand into his chest. God his heart is pounding just as badly as yours.

“What the fuck am I doing” You huff.

“Shit.” “Been wonderin’ that myself Darlin’! But I like em a bit crazy” His hands run over your brown Uniform.

“STOP that..- this is fucked up” You take a few steps back, shaking your head to yourself you can't possibly hook up with this fucking guy! He's dangerous.

“Ain't nobody forcing you love, there's the door” He nods towards the big exit sign. He's right..- you can just leave.

“Or we take this bottle of fine amber colored liquor and sit on the very comfortable couch in the back, have a few drinks..- amongst other things” He smiles, and fuck it's a really nice smile!

“Up to you, but I know where i'm goin’ “ and with that Boyd grabs the bottle, disappearing towards the back room of the bar. What is still stopping you from walking out of the exit door? He's obviously fucking crazy, and totally in trouble with some people who would send him a cut off hand!

But god it's one of those moments where you look back to later in life, one of the things you'd either be happy you did or didn't do. But the way he talks? Walks…the way he kisses even..-

You walk towards the back with a heavy pounding heart, slowly pushing the door open to see him on the couch. Bottle in hand, prideful evil little smirk on his face.

“Well then, looks like you made up your mind cupcake’ gonna come over here and take a seat?” His hand pats his thigh. Suggesting you should sit on his lap. That's asking a lot….

But you still go and do it, sitting down on his lap. Legs next to his thighs on the couch.

“There you go girl, look at that, not so scared of me anymore are you?” He puts the bottle between himself and the side of the couch, needing both hands to open the buttons on your brown Uniform.

Your hand gently strokes through his hair, tugging a little on it at the back of his head. The way he looks up at you has you melting, christ, how can he look so attractive and scary at the same time. Once he opens the shirt his hands slide it off your shoulders, taking in the bra that you are wearing. A simple Black bra with soft cups, watching him lean in closer to place a few kisses onto your neck and collarbone.

“Just promise me I won't regret this.” You ask, hand still combing through his hair.

His hand on your back opens your bra, slowly sliding it off before he looks up at you again. “I promise” then his head leans down to kiss one of your breasts, the texture of tongue against your sensitive nipple makes you moan deeply. So far no regrets.

When he leaves off of you again to lean all the way back you catch yourself squirming on his lap a little. He's staring at you, at your neck and your stomach and your breasts..

Watching him take another sip from the whisky bottle.

“I'm just enjoying the view, savoring the moment.” Boyd sighs.

“If the gun would have been loaded…” You look into his eyes, you just need to make sure.

“No. I wouldn't have shot you” he huffs, his left hand strokes over your side and then up your arm, to your shoulder and then he cups your face in his palm. “Cause i believe that you knew nothin’ about this, I just gotta be real damn careful with whom I trust these days”

It's good to hear that, so you lean into the palm on your cheek, for pointing a gun at you and being all Intimidating he sure is weirdly gentle with you. You almost feel a bit worshiped under his touch and gaze.

Your hand starts to explore his chest, fingers stroking over the thin fabric that's covering his skin, toying with the first few already opened buttons. That's when you feel a scar, peeling back the layer of his shirt wasn't your best idea. You see something a whole lot worse than a bullet hole scar.

“No. No way..- I don't fuck with that.” You huff getting off him, looking for your shirt. “Should have drawn the line the second you pointed a damn gun at me. But I am REALLY gonna draw the line at bullshit like white fucking Power” You curse, reffereing to the hateful symbol Tattoo on his upper arm. Being disgusted that you even kissed him.

“Now now, hold on. That was a long time ago, when I was a different man, who had different beliefs. I don't share these kinds of beliefs anymore, just haven't gotten rid of it yet because believe it or not, very little people wanna Cover this up and laser is expensive and I don't have the gut yet to just Stick a damn branding Iron to my own flesh” Boyd doesn't get up from the couch however, he won't try and persuade you. He never talked a woman into having sex and he's not gonna start with that now.

“Oh? Lemme do that for you, i gladly burn that fucking thing off your arm” You smile wide.

“I believe that in a second darlin’ “ Boyd shakes his head to himself, finally standing up. The tension is still there, the both of you with your Shirts all the way open. Revealing chest and stomach. “I don't believe in a superior race anymore, I promise” He offers the bottle of whisky to you.

It's still a bit hard to digest.

“If I screw you and it turns out that you do believe this crap it's really going to be a motherfucker on that regret scale, Boyd.” You take the whisky however, taking a good chug before handing it back. Feeling it warm your stomach, flush your cheeks a little.

“I've been a man of god..” He steps closer “I've been a brainwashed racist” He takes another step closer “But I sure as shit have never lied to get my dick wet, but you..you love this type of adrenaline darlin’ don't even try to deny it. Sure I had a gun but you still could have ran at any point. Could have just left instead of kissing me. But you..- Miss..- are a real adrenaline junkie. I'd bet if I pointed a loaded gun at ya you'd soak your god damn panties” He stops just an inch away from you. How does he do that?! This charm and speaking so much truth, how on earth does he know that it really does turn you on.

“It was a phase when I was younger.” You point out, letting him come closer to you. Undress you more. “I bet it was” that evil little grin returns to his face until you have the edge of the table against your butt.

“Booze…tattoos…little bit of weed and a whole bunch of bad boys ain't that right? Lemme guess, you noticed then and there that ordinary flip flop wearin’ legally money makin’ nice guys weren't your type. Always had one with a bit of an edge huh?”

Speaking of edge Boyd lifts your hips up to make you sit on that table, stepping between your legs.

You just nod at everything he's saying with a burning Red face.

“And even though these guys were total pricks, lyin’ cheatin’ assholes…They all had something in common didn't they?” He moves to completely undress you. He takes off everything. And you just let him. Sitting on the table with your legs around his waist fully nude while he still has all of his clothes on and only his shirt unbuttoned.

“God don't say it Boyd.” You squirm on the table.

His hands opening his belt is one of the hottest things you've ever seen. Those big strong fingers working the Button and his zipper…

“They made you scream didn't they? They made you hotter and wetter and moanin’ louder than you ever had in your life…” He sighs.

Your hands grip the edge of the table next to your thighs hard when you nod all shy and caught. He really does have a hang on reading people…Drilling into their darkest deepest secrets.

You should have known that someone like Boyd doesn't do a whole lot of prep, or gives out any warnings, that he takes what he wants when he wants it…- but feeling him push his entire length inside of you just like fucking that makes your eyes roll back in your head. Huffing and puffing because FUCK he's huge, at least it sort of fits.. fucking god.

Your arms wrap tightly around him, breathing out a broken moan against his shoulder.

It was only a tiny bit uncomfortable at first, that feeling is gone now and all you can feel is the fucking weight of his cock deep inside of you. “Fuck..Boyd!” You exhale.

His hand slowly wraps around your throat, squeezing the sides and suddenly that feeling of him pointing a gun at you starts to come flooding back. You want to trust him but..- He pointed a fucking gun at your head.

“Boyd..-” You ask with a desperate sigh.

His grip eases up and when he starts moving his hips he locks eyes with you.

“You're okay, you're alright.” He whispers, placing a deep kiss onto your lips.

After kissing you breathless his other hand strokes over your cheek. Thumb rubbing over your chin “You're safe with me darlin’ I promise.” He lets out a deep moan as well, putting his lips onto your throat and then he sucks gently on your neck.

“I'll hold you…- to that!” You moan mid sentence when his lips leave a hickey behind on your skin. His hands start wandering over your entire body, you can feel his rough Fingertips dance over your inner thighs, hips, running up your sides and then you feel his hands gently kneading your breasts. He really seems insanely into you, not just an object to get off with. You feel genuinely desired and wanted.

“Sweetness, If I'd known how godly you felt I would have never pointed that stupid Gun at you, christ, you take me so good” He groans, kissing your cheek and placing his hands back to your hips to move you into his thrusts.

“FUCK…-” You moan.

The way his hips keep moving and how his hands keep pulling you to meet each and every single thrust is unholy. It's a kind of pleasure you haven't felt in a while. Fucking assholes usually doesn't turn out so well, but whatever Boyd Crowder is involved in makes him the best cock you ever had.

“How long..can you…keep this up?” You ask. It's been minutes already, which is maybe normal but knowing how desperate you both were..he's holding out isn't he?

“Until I feel that drippin’ cunt of yours choke my cock baby” He huffs. Putting his forehead against yours. “God Boyd…” You didn't expect that.

Your hands move over his shoulders, your right hand strokes through his hair. Starts gently tugging on it with each thrust.

If it were up to you, you two could keep this up for fucking ever. His dirty mouth is certainly a little surprise but a nice break from all the cute nicknames he seems to come with. He's only going to finish when you do… that almost seems too good to be true so you try your best to hold out. You let him keep this rhythm up, the hard thrusts and the lips all over your skin when after a minute or two he starts to sound way more desperate when he moans then he did before.

His hand moves down on you, gently starting to rub two fingers over your clit.

And Boyd Crowder was right, assholes do make you scream. “OH GOD…-” Your legs tremble when his fingers speed up, that feeling mixed with the harsh thrusts got you beat. You give up. You don't hold it in a second longer, your core clenches brutally around his cock, legs squeezing his hips tightly when you cum.

And from all that sudden tightness Boyd cums too, letting go of your hip and wrapping both arms around you tightly as his now rather uncoordinated thrusts pump his release deeper inside of you, the sound coming out of this man almost makes you wish you could finish again just to see who gets louder. It's a moan you don't ever want to miss again, the kind of sound that's going to Ring in your ears everytime you touch yourself in the future. His hips slowly but surely come to a halt. Boyd's head resting on your shoulder.

You can't help but to stroke a gentle hand through his hair, the other over his back. He's still holding onto you so tightly.

“Assholes and their damn A+ fuckin’ “ You joke a little and when he chuckles something warms in your chest. His arms slowly let go and his head moves, trailing even more kisses over your shoulder, neck, cheek, all the way to your lips. You are sincerely surprised by that deep kiss, he claims to be one of the bad guys, an asshole like the other's but these sudden gentle and sweet things really do confuse you.

“I’m only a part time prick actually” He leans back just enough to take a good look at you but not pulling himself out of you yet.

"Hm. But lemme guess, you won't call” You meant it as a joke. Of course he wouldn't. This was a one time only thing right? A little fling. Just sex nothing else.

“I was..about to ask if you'd like to grab some dinner” Boyd smiles a bit, carefully pulling out of you and the way his hands keep you from closing your legs so he can take a good look at his work makes you speechless. You can feel it slowly running out of you…the sudden cold air.. squirming on the table again.

“Now that right there Sweetheart is a fuckin’ piece of art” He comments on it too, when finally his hands close your legs for you. God you want him to keep treating you like that, like that's all his, he may do with your legs and your hips and your entire body whatever he pleases.

When he simply pulls his underwear and jeans back up from his ankles he winks at you “So, dinner?” He asks, closing his zipper and belt and then the buttons on his shirt while you still sit on the table breathing through the feeling of that soaked leaking mess between your legs. Thank god you are on the pill…

“I thought you were joking about that” You huff. Making a grabby hand gesture towards the box of tissues on the other desk. Which he noticed and picked up in a flash for you.

“I ain't that cruel” His smirk however while he takes in how you clean up makes you want to doubt that statement.

But just as you were about to agree to Dinner you hear the heavy metal door open in the front of the bar, the look on Boyd's face is..really scary. How he takes his gun and checks if it's loaded this time, tugging it into his belt.

“Stay here darlin’ don't come out” He whispers, leaving you with a kiss on your cheek.

While Boyd goes to investigate you hurry with that cleanup, putting a pad into your underwear before putting your work Uniform pants back on. Fixing your hair and clothes to make it look like nothing happened here. Just in case it turns out to be a fucking girlfriend or wife or something.

“Raylan…” Boyd huffs, of course it would be him. “What can I do for ya” He walks behind the bar.

“Well, Boyd. We found a body this mornin’ missing a hand ! Can you believe that?” Raylan and his acts. “Oh..maybe you can, what's that?” He points at the box.

“A halloween prop” Boyd sighs loudly, of course he's Raylans first fucking stop and of course Boyd forgot to put that away when he got distracted with the most perfect and Intense sex he's had in long while.

“Right. Don't smell like one though, now what do you bet Boyd.. that this hand right here belongs to our guy who's missin’ one?” Givens teases some more. “Wouldn't that be somethin’ Raylan.” Boyd nods. “I didn't kill him if that's what you're asking. I got this as a message, a warning…and I do not know from who” He points out.

“Why should I believe that? Wouldn't be your first dead guy” Raylan inspects some more.

“I got this delivered. Officially. That means someone put some real work into that message, that's what you should focus on.” Boyd is getting tired of this, he has dinner plans. Hopefully.

“Can anyone vouch for that or are you just making up some tales” Raylan pokes at the box with a pen. “Nope, guess you gotta take my word for it friend” Crowder grins.

“I can.” You say with your clipboard back in your hands, and for a second there Raylan moved his hand to his gun holster.

“Who are you?” Raylan wonders but Boyd? Oh Boyd looks mad.. “I told you not to come out” He whispers when he makes a few steps to stand next to you, you feel a bit better about the nervous Marshal in front of you two right now.

“I made the delivery Sir.” You smile, carefully placing the clipboard with your Info and ID card onto the bar and taking a step back again.

“Your neck…are you alright? Did he hurt you? Force you to say that?” Raylan worries when he takes a closer look at you.

“Raylan! I am deeply offended that you'd think I'd ever lay my hands on a woman. That might have been how my Daddy did things but I ain't that kind of man” He protests. You forgot about the redish and purple spots on your neck and throat. It does look like someone violently choked you or something. “Then why does she..-” He squints his eyes, putting two and two together. “Was it consensual?” Givens asks and you can feel some color on your cheeks now, slowly nodding.

“Very.” You smirk up at Boyd for a moment and he returns it, placing a kiss against your head.

“Happy for you two, so, if I check this they can confirm you made this delivery today?” Raylan asks, looking somewhat disgusted at the thought of you two having sex. You nod again “Yes sir! It's all there..I didn't get a good look at the guy who put the contract in. I see so many faces on a daily Basis it's hard to reminder specifics”

Now that's not what you told Boyd….

And he noticed that.

The look on his face is intensely hot, it makes you want to drop to your damn knees for him.

“I'll check that real quick then, don't go anywhere.” Raylan warns when he takes the box, the clipboard and your ID. He needs to make a few calls in his car so he leaves the bar, shaking his head to himself. When the door closes you grab Boyd's face with both hands to kiss him deeply.

He lets you but only for a moment, breathing roughly when he pulls away. “You didn't have to do that! But oh am I fuckin’ happy you did. Gives me some time to deal with that guy myself before the Marshal can get his hands on him” He kisses you back. You kiss intensely and passionately before you both run out of air. “I don't do good with cops and if I make any official Statements he needs to drag me to the station and..-” You smile wide “I have dinner plans” You wink at him, having him all over you again with deep kisses, hands on your hips when Raylan walks back inside.

“Jesus christ” Givens complains.

You two separate when the Marshal returns.. but damn it, why couldn't he take just a little longer.

“You two really are meant for each other..with your hefty criminal records and everything. But your Boss confirmed the delivery and your job there, so good for you young Lady.” He eyes Boyd a bit worried. “Look at that..a little more to the whole datin’ asshoels Story hm?” Boyd however doesn't look worried by it, he looks if anything turned on by it. “Break ins. Underage drinking.. theft, even an assault on a registered sex offender with a uh…Baseball bat” Raylan huffs impressed.

“God damn woman, where you been all my life..Smackin’ weirdos around? Atta girl” He smiles at Raylan like he's insanely proud of you.

“You got lucky today Boyd, but remember, I'll be back” Raylan reminds him before giving you your things back. “If that guy really does it for you…fine, but if you want a life away from all this crap reconsider. Boyd Crowder is always bad news” Givens mumbles to you before he leaves.

Once that door closes you and Boyd start laughing, giggling like idiots.

“Boyd Crowder is always bad news!!!” You mock Raylan Givens' voice. “He's a pain but he sure knows how to be funny” Boyd points out.

“So, where would you like to go for dinner sweetheart?” He asks and all you can do is stare up at him with a happy smile. What a strange day and what a strange man, from putting a gun to your head to making you scream from good sex to asking where ‘you’ would like to go eat.

“How about…my place? I can fix you up somethin’ nice.” You offer and his face lights up even more.

“Well then I'm already pretty set on what my desert is gonna be…cupcake” He teases.

What a great use of this nickname, you can't wait to be eaten like one. “It's a date” You kiss him again, gently.

Hey you!

Thank you for reading!!! I hope you liked it.

Tag list:

@pixelatedprofilepic @golden-omega @ivyinthesun @catclaw12

(I hope i got that right!)

#walton goggins #boyd crowder #justified #boyd crowder x reader #boyd crowder x female reader #boyd crowder spice #cooper howard #the ghoul

[smolwritingchick]

The Bangtan Gal Chapter 94- MAMA Awards 2016 Part 1

Summary: BTS win their first Daesang! Tensions run high when Jen's friendship with Hyuna ends abruptly due to sneak dissing and a scrapped performance. BTS attends the Mama Awards making iconic moments that leave the world shooked.

Words: 13,000+

Genre: Big Jungkook Fluff. A little chaos never hurt anybody :)

Click here for PART 2 of this chapter

Author's note: OK the 3rd Muster chapter isn't done yet, I'll post that next since this was done. The 3rd Muster chapter is basically a filler chapter anyway. So once I come back from taking a smol break I will start writing that and then the following story chapter. This was done and I didn't want to keep it waiting. Kind of been anxious to release it. 

As I addressed during the Bon Voyage season 1 chapter, this should be the last time I write about Hyuna. This idea came up recently and I rolled with it. My ideas changed a bit but I wanted this to just be chaotic af. I wanted to think outside the box and I like what I came up with. Again this smol girl ain't that much of a lyric writer but A for effort. Decided to combine the chapters and make it into the Mama Awards chapter.

I would like Jennie to always have a cool stage for the MAMA Awards. And have fun moments. It's only 2016 in the story and Jennie still has a lot of growing to do but I think this moment I have planned for this chapter is an interesting start to how she speaks up for herself. We got 2017, 18, 19, and the rest of the years for even more character development, wins and failures along the way for her.

Hope you enjoy it! I'd say Beyonce's 7/11 is the inspiration for her stage at MAMA. I love the song so much and the instrumental. Especially the Coachella version. Always a banger. I also loveeee Beyonce's laugh at the end of the Coachella version. So I had to add it for Jennie. It might just be her signature. 

Whenever there are scenes with BlackPink and BTS' Jennie (My character), I'm going to keep BlackPink's Jennie as Jennie during the dialogue while BTS' Jennie will just be called Jen. Hope that won't be too confusing.

Throwback to this funny video when they won at MMA 2016. I remember this video like it was yesterday. Timeless. As I continue to write, I get a little emotional. It was so fun seeing all this in real time.

Again this chapter is split into two parts because I couldn't fit all of it in one post. So this is part one.

Have an awesome day! Super excited for Jin to return from enlistment! Not much longer now!

------------

'BREAKING! MAMA 2016 Collaboration with Cube's Hyuna and Big Hit's Jennie scrapped!'

Jennie frowned at the article as she sat by her desk in the Smartie Factory. It was crazy how things abruptly changed. Lately, Jennie and Hyuna weren't on speaking terms and issues have been occurring for a while.

It all started with the sneak dissing that Jennie had found out on her Tumblr. She loved scrolling through the tag of her name and came across a fairly popular post regarding Hyuna attending a few variety shows and interviews.

"Unlike the others, I don't need to repeatedly say I'm the best from head to toe. You already see it," made ARMY think about Jennie's War of Hormone lyrics.

"Some rookies can be a bit much. Some like to try to overshine a veteran,"

"Some girls in this industry are a bit too fragile. I don't need to call myself bulletproof,"

"You mean the original version of How's This,"

These were just a handful of statements said by Hyuna and ARMY immediately speculated she was throwing shade at Jennie.

'Uhhhh did Hyuna just sneak diss, Jennie? Am I freaking out over nothing? That bulletproof and glass line was SUS,' one comment said.

ARMY went on to do more research and they immediately figured out that there was some sort of animosity in Hyuna's words and it caused confusion in the fandom.

"The hell...?" Miss Bangtan murmured as she read about it and even saw her and Hyuna trending on Twitter.

Her stomach dropped and she felt hurt by the words. It confused her as to why she would say these things. Deciding to go straight to the source, she messaged Hyuna on KakaoTalk.

Jen: Ummmm what's going on sis? We got a problem or something? If so let's address it now. Call me when you're free

But hours later, still no reply. What officially solidified the fact that there was an issue was when Jennie facetimed Hayoon about it.

"I'm trying to contact her so we can settle this shit now instead of over the internet. But I haven't gotten a response. I don't know how this happened. I didn't even do anything. I know we haven't talked in a while, but damn,"

And that was when Hayoon informed her what was going on from what she heard. She and other people have been overhearing her talking about how upset she was that she would be sharing the stage with Jennie for How's This. She wanted to perform it alone and on top of that felt bothered by the fact that the duet music video with Jennie started to get way more views than the original video.

"I mean it got more views because ARMY loves to support every member of Bangtan. They were bound to have the views boost," Jennie exclaimed on Facetime while Hayoon nodded. "That's one of the amazing things about them. They watched that video for me and I'm grateful but damn, is it that deep? So, she doesn't want to share the stage with me and is feeling some type of the way that her original music video didn't have that many views? Ma'am, if that was a problem, instead of throwing shots, why not talk to me face to face and express yourself? All this childishness for what?"

"I know. It's ridiculous," Hayoon said with a frown. "I had to distance myself from her. I didn't like the things she was saying. And I even talked to her about it but she blew me off and said she didn't care,"

Jennie sighed and shook her head. "Annoying...thanks for telling me...wow...the switch up is crazy...I just don't understand,"

"Of course. Still no reply?"

Jennie went to check back on the app and scoffed. "Did this bitch block me?!"

"What?! No way!"

"Wowwww. So, it's like that? Okay. I can't even contact her anymore...this is making me start to have trust issues a little bit. Like we were so close. We would hang out and talk often...I trusted her with a lot of shit, too. I hope she doesn't spill anything personal. Because now I'm thinking about my relationship,"

"As much as I dislike her attitude, I don't think she'll spill anything especially when she is dating E'Dawn privately,"

"Yeah...I'm not going to air her dirty laundry and talk about how she got a rookie boyfriend and shit. That's unfair to E'dawn and his future career as an idol,"

"Agreed. No need to get him involved. I believe she won't involve Jungkook as well, so no need to worry,"

Jennie sighed. "When I see her at one of these award shows I'll confront her. This is ridiculous,"

"Some kind of girl's girl she is. So close to award season, too? She should not be trying to paint you as this bad person,"

"Yeah...I just don't know how long it's going to take for the public to understand how grimy she is,"

As the news of her performance with Hyuna wasn't happening anymore, Cube Entertainment and even Mnet made the excuse that they felt like Jennie was not ready to perform with Hyuna and was a bit difficult to work with. Which was a load of bull and lots of fans saw through the BS. However, Big Hit responded in defense of her saying that she was ready, was very easy to work with and it was their loss on the collaboration.

It warmed her heart to see the company come to her defense and say she would prove doubters wrong on BTS' stage at the MAMA Awards. Hearing the news that the collaboration was scrapped made her feel down since she had been so excited to perform with someone she looked up to for many years. G-Dragon's words still rang through her mind that not everyone is your friend in the industry and the switch ups are crazy.

Now back to reality, Jennie continued to sit by her desk, deep in thought about the situation. All she wanted to do was speak to her like an adult and squash whatever issue she had with her. But with her being blocked, it was clear she wanted nothing to do with Jennie.

It had been days since the first set of disses along with lyric changes to throw shots at her and the lack of response from Jennie had everyone talking.

People commented:

'Unbothered. I like that,'

'Hyuna cooked you!'

'Everything she said about Jennie was true,'

'Rookie! Hyuna is better than you!'

'So, are you going to respond to HyunA?'

'Damn, still no response?'

'Jennie is known for her impressive stage presence at MAMA. They could have been a powerful duo if egos didn't get in the way. Something ain't right,'

'LOL Hyuna won by default. She is taking forever to respond. Is she scared?'

'Get in the booth, Jennie. Or are you taking the L?'

'So, you just gonna let her talk shit about you like that?'

'Jennie doesn't have to respond to anything.'

'I hate how you guys are instigating this drama.'

'No response is a response, Jennie!'

'Does Miss Bangtan need her bulletproof boy scouts to help her with this one?'

'I bet Jennie is the problem. Because she and Hyuna were great friends. She must have done something wrong...'

'Time to stop hiding behind your boys, woman up and respond to your senior.'

'Respect queen Hyuna!'

'You should be lucky she even asked you to collaborate.'

'ARMY gets on my nerves. They like to spam and stream everything for bragging rights. That music video didn't deserve to get higher views than the OG!'

'Yikes...going after one of the chillest people in the K-Pop industry is not wise because if Jennie responds I bet not hear shit that she was disrespectful when Hyuna started this first. And don't try to say respect your seniors.'

'Y'all are a little too comfortable being rude to Jennie on her page...'

'Hyuna started it and Jen will finish it. Watch!'

'Hyuna is being a bit too bold running her mouth.'

'Of all people when you have Bangtan backing her? And other idols who are close friends with her? I don't understand the logic.'

'Hyuna is untouchable in the industry, no idols will come to her aid,'

'I doubt any idol will defend Jennie from Hyuna. She should handle this herself.'

'Bangtan shouldn't always have to fight her battles. She should handle this by herself,'

'Jennie handles business. She'll respond,'

Still, on social media, she saw herself getting tagged in a lot of Hyuna stuff. Come to find out she was still sneak dissing and her stans were eating it up and defending her. However, ARMY was not too happy about the abrupt attitude change and shade thrown at Miss Bangtan.

"Do you want me to say something?" Yoongi asked, who sat next to her, ready to defend her honor.

"Yoongi...no," she firmly said as she turned to him.

"The situation is so grimy. Like damn, the bitch can't share the stage with you on her song that she wanted you to be on in the first place? Why bother asking to collab?" Angelina spoke up, sitting on the couch with Namjoon. "Did she think it wasn't going to go well? She underestimated the power of ARMY's support and your talent as an artist. Those comments on that YouTube video were mainly about you, Jennie. You outshined her in the music video and she was mad about it and has been holding it in for a while. The bitch is jealous,"

"I'm just confused and thrown off by everything. Like I thought we were friends—"

"Well, she's not your friend," Angelina firmly cut Jennie off, getting upset about Hyuna. "A friend doesn't sneak diss. Fuck her,"

"Are you going to let her just bash your name like this in public?" Namjoon asked.

"She is South Korea's IT girl. Everyone loves her. And if I respond...I have a feeling I'll be public enemy number one. You know how the media is gonna twist this and make me the bad guy," Jennie reminded.

"Jen, I love your calmness. You know I'll be ready to fight somebody if someone did that to me. Diss tracks would already be on standby to release," Angelina added. "I wish I had your calmness, right now, as we speak. But stop being nice,"

"I'm not trying to be! I'm not! I'm not being nice, I'm trying to wrap my head around being blindsided! I'm getting annoyed, now..." she sighed out of frustration.

"Good. Write about it,"

"Listen, I shouldn't cause Bangtan any drama. Award season is coming up...I can't be taking the attention off of us at the award shows. I don't even want to be involved in this drama...why can't I just have some genuine celebrity friends, that won't get mad over petty shit, like this? I'm getting PTSD from Hailey and that took a while to heal from,"

"Munchkin, you're not causing drama for us," Hobi spoke up with his arms crossed as he leaned against the wall, next to the couch. "I know you're thinking of the negatives but the positives outweigh it. You should respond,"

"And you know that people love you, too. She is not the only beloved K-Pop idol, in the world," Yoongi affirmed. "You've been making a positive name for yourself with us as BTS. ARMY and us will not stand for the slander. I want you to write about it all,"

"Turn this negative into a positive," Namjoon reminded.

"Diss track incoming?" Angelina smiled.

Jennie let the rappers' words sink in as she glanced at all of them. They had a point. She couldn't just let her bash her name like this out of nowhere. On top of that, she didn't want to hear anything about being respectful to her seniors when she was getting disrespected unprovoked. It bothered her when people think they can talk to younger people in any type of way. Respect should be a mutual thing.

"For now, don't bother engaging in the drama on social media. Don't respond to any of it online. Continue to go about your day like normal," Namjoon suggested.

"Yeah...okay. You're right. All of you," Jen replied. "I can't let her just get away with talking shit and not saying it directly to my face. Especially when she didn't even want to respond to my messages and blocked me. She needs to get checked,"

"Good. I'm looking forward to this," Hobi smiled.

"You and I both," Yoongi revealed his gummy smile.

Jennie chuckled and turned to Namjoon. "This reminds me a little bit of the Bobby situation and your diss at MAMA 2014. But yours was more of entertainment. Unlike this,"

The leader chuckled at that and nodded. "Yeah. Well, what are you going to do, now?"

"Handle it," she firmly responded and grabbed her notebook.

"Best news I've heard all day. Get writing," Angelina broke out into a big smile, as the others agreed.

"Mama Awards 2016. Speak your truth, there. Let's talk to the staff later about everything," Namjoon recommended.

"Okay," Jennie nodded, liking that idea. "I'll show you what I have when I'm done. Can I be alone, please? To work?"

The boys respected her decision and left her to work while Angelina stayed behind with Namjoon waiting for her outside the studio.

"Word of advice? Try the 8 Mile method. The stealing thunder strategy. You remember the movie and the final rap battle with Eminem?" Angelina asked as she got off the couch.

"Yeah. I've watched it a few times. That's not a bad idea. I'll work on it,"

"Good. Happy writing. Just make sure you eat, okay? Don't be stuck here, all day. I'll be with the others,"

"Don't worry, I'll take breaks. See you,"

After Angelina left, Jennie got started with writing. She also began going through her vault of music files she created over the years to pick which one to perform her rap with.

Rapping…kind of scary to think that this is what it would come to. Yoongi had been an amazing mentor. If Hobi could learn how to rap when he had no background in it, she could too. The amount of faith the rap line had in her to encourage her to respond to Hyuna in this way was a big deal. It was a deal that she could not mess up.

As she proceeded to work, her dog Tony slept quietly on the dog bed in the corner, tired out from playing around with the members a few hours earlier. Jennie occasionally glanced at the adorable dog with a smile while she worked. Miss Bangtan worked for hours, doing research, writing, and analyzing Hyuna's recent interviews regarding her. So engrossed in her work, she jumped slightly when she heard a series of knocks at her door.

"Who?" she asked out loud.

"Your Golden Boyfriend. Jeon Cena!"

"Enter my realm, my love," she smiled and turned her seat around to see him walking in with a few bags of food. "Hey!"

"Hi. I figured you were hungry so I bought food for us," he set the bags on the desk and grabbed a seat to sit next to her.

"It smells so good, thanks," she kissed him sweetly.

Getting a good look at her, he noticed she was wearing one of his hoodies which made him smile. The way it was oversized on her made her look even more cute.

"Any time. And your package of Smarties came. I grabbed a few bags so I can fill up your bowl,"

"You are the best!" she squealed happily and kissed him again before planting multiple kisses all over his cheek, making him giggle.

After he filled up the bowl, he gently grabbed her hand to stop her from reaching out to grab a few pieces.

"Ah-ah! What are you doing?" he called out.

"Helping myself to my smarties?"

"Nah. Food first. Let's eat,"

"What? Oh, come on. Babe, don't do that,"

"Food first. Smarties after," he released her hand.

"They're small, they're not going to spoil my stomach,"

"Food, honey," he grinned, opening the platter of chicken for them to eat. "Take a break,"

"Fine. I should take a break, anyway," she stretched and closed her notebook, placing it to the side. "Game of Thrones?"

"Yeah, we stopped at Season 5, right?"

"Hm hm. The first episode," she set everything up on one of her monitors.

"Hyung told us what you're working on. I'm glad you're going to go through with it. It's not fair,"

She smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah…I just wished she talked to me,"

"She'll realize the mistake she made when you respond. I'm looking forward to seeing what you say. You always have a way of showing off your craft during the MAMA Awards. ARMY will be in for a treat,"

"Thanks. I hope to do it justice. I've been thinking about a lot…especially with the new year coming up. I think my New Year's Resolution for 2017 is to…be more cautious of who I trust and who I open up to. To see my childhood friends again when we go on tour and write songs in a more positive light. I think that'll be a pretty good start,"

He leaned over to kiss the side of her head. "I like that. That is a good start,"

---------

The day of the Melon Music Awards was finally here and backstage was lively as everyone went through rehearsals. Jen was excited to see familiar faces again as she strolled backstage. She let out a deep breath when she finally saw Hyuna who had finished talking with a staff member. Jen had been seeing her all day but whenever she'd get close, Hyuna would rush off.

Not anymore.

As Jen approached her, she knew people were watching her every move, wondering what might happen. Keeping her head up high, she finally came face to face with her.

"You got something to say to me?" Jen questioned as she looked at her with a frown.

Hyuna looked a little surprised and took a step back.

"Nothing at all," she replied with a fake smile.

"Are we going to talk like adults or are you gonna run, again? Where's that energy when you were taking shots at me on that variety show?" she asked and tilted her head to the side when she didn't reply. "If you don't want to be friends anymore, that's cool. I don't care. But I don't appreciate you going out of your way to talk shit about me and lying on my name. Blocking me so we can't speak on the phone? That is mad corny,"

"Jennie, you're causing a scene," she brought up as noticeably more people were being nosy and watching the confrontation.

"I do not care, stop trying to change the subject. What is with you throwing shade like ARMY and I wouldn't notice? Even talking about how difficult I am to work with? The fuck? Do we have a problem?"

"Do we?"

It took all the strength Jen had to not pop her in the head right then and there with the way she sarcastically responded. Hyuna was playing games and it was getting harder for Jen not to put her hands on her. MAMA Awards couldn't come fast enough.

"Keep my name out of your mouth. I'm not telling you again. Are we clear?" Jen demanded with a glare.

"Crystal."

After walking away and calming down, Jen informed the members about the nonsense. It annoyed them with the way Hyuna responded and highly anticipated Jen's performance at the MAMA Awards to set her straight. It was going to be worth the wait.

As the show was about to start, Jen went to the women's bathroom and as she came out to wash her hands, she saw BlackPink primping in the mirror and talking amongst themselves about how excited they were for the show.

Jennie gasped in happiness and turned around with a bright smile. "Hi! Oh my gosh, we've been looking for you!"

The sudden burst of excitement surprised Jen as she stood by the four girls who were happily smiling after she dried her hands. Once it officially registered that she was in front of BlackPink, Jen grinned widely.

"Hey! You're BlackPink! Wow! Hi! Oh my gosh, wow, y'all look so beautiful!"

"So do you!" Jisoo beamed as they all bowed.

"Hi, I'm Jennie. Jennie Walker," Jen introduced herself.

"Nice name. Hi, I'm Jennie. Jennie Kim," Jennie giggled with her and held her hands.

"Thank you. Nice name!"

"Thanks! It's nice to catch you before the show. It's really nice to meet you,"

"It's nice to meet you, girls, too!"

"Hi~! I'm Rosé!"

"I'm Lisa!"

"And I'm Jisoo!"

After releasing Jennie's hands, Jen spoke, "You girls are amazing! It's great watching you ladies thrive. I love your songs and I can't wait to see you perform, tonight,"

"Thank you! We've seen your dance videos of our songs. You perform it so well. Maybe you should be the fifth member," Jisoo giggled.

"I'd love to but Bangtan would be upset," she teased, as the girls laughed.

They were all so sweet. Their friendly energy matched so well with Jen's as they all vibed and immersed themselves in bathroom girl talk. As Jen had her eyes on Jisoo, she pointed out that her beauty was on a whole new level. Photos and videos didn't do her justice.

"Can we hug? Are you ladies ok with that? I'm like such a hugger these days but I like to ask before touching," Jen asked kindly.

"Of course!" Lisa beamed and went right in to embrace her with the rest of the girls.

"Are you ladies excited for tonight?" Jen asked.

"Nervous! But very excited. It should be a fun show. The dress rehearsal went well," Rosé replied.

"You ladies are gonna kill it. Have fun with it! Go out there and show them that BlackPink ain't playing around,"

Jen's encouragement seemed to have pumped them up as they smiled brightly and thanked her.

"You're close with Bam Bam, right? He's one of my good friends," Lisa spoke up.

"Yeah! I love him! He's the best and one of the funniest guys ever. He's a piece of work, huh?" Jen chuckled.

"He is! I hope we can all hang out sometime,"

"Yeah, I'd love that. We have a 97 Liner group chat we can add you and Rosé in! We're trying to see when we can have another get together. Even if it's just a handful of us. I have the WINGS tour coming up so it'll probably be a long while until Jungkook and I can participate in any hangouts. But we'll be there in spirit if the group plans something in our absence,"

"Being in the group chat sounds like fun. It'll be nice to get to know the others who were born in the same year. You'll introduce us?" Rosé asked.

"Yeah! I got you! You have to meet Hayoon. She is one of the sweetest girls you'll ever meet. So down to earth. She can be a little shy but give her some time and she'll open up to you. When you see her show off her real personality she gets very intense when playing games. Especially card games,"

Lisa and Rosé giggled at that.

"G-Dragon speaks highly of you. I always see him at YG and when we catch up he always brings you up," Jennie added.

"He talks about me to you?" Jen's eyes lit up.

Jen remembered that Jennie worked with G-Dragon before, being in one of his music videos. And Rosé even worked with him, on a song. It made her heart soar that he spoke highly of her. She hoped that one day she could collaborate with him as well. They brought it up a few times but she wanted to continue to improve her craft as an artist before working with him on music. She wanted to be at her best to sing with someone as legendary as him.

"Yeah! He told us he took you under his wing. I remember him saying how determined you looked when you approached him at K-Con. He admired your drive to take action. The way you did not hesitate to ask for advice on how to be a better performer. He also told us you are someone he trusts and that you are authentic," Rosé added.

"Wow...I am honored, my gosh," Jen let out a breath and placed her hands over her heart.

"Can I just say I love the move that you do with Jungkook during Blood, Sweat and Tears!? That flip and spin? It's so good!" Lisa said excitedly. "I want to try to do it during a dance practice but your chemistry with him is something that cannot be duplicated. I've studied dance covers of your little duet and it's clear that the move was meant for you two. I admire your passion when dancing,"

"Aw really? Thank you! I admire your passion for dancing, too! You be killing it on stage! You move with such grace and power, I get blown away every time, girl. I need to learn a thing or two from you,"

"We should practice together, sometime!"

"I'd be down!"

Their conversation was cut short when they heard an announcement that the show was about to begin.

"Before we go to our seats, can we take a selfie?" Jisoo suggested.

"Yeah! Let's do it!" Jen cheered.

Jisoo took out her phone and held the camera up high while the girls crowded around Jen. With all of their face cards on point, the selfie turned out beautifully as they posed with peace signs, kissy faces, and bright smiles.

"Oh, we cute, cute! Send this to me!" Miss Bangtan requested.

After exchanging numbers with the girls, the five of them went to their seats with fansites filming and noticing them together. Seeing the sight made ArmyBlinks excited that they finally met and hoped they take pictures.

---------

As the show began, Jennie sat with Bangtan as the camera occasionally caught her exciting reactions which would make Armies cheer. Jennie happily cheered and lip synced Blackpink's lyrics with fans noticing how Rosé biased she was.

When it was time for Bangtan to perform BST, audience members and idols anticipated JenKook's signature move but they didn't perform it this time and did different choreography. The disappointment was evident on some idols' faces as they whispered amongst themselves about them not doing their move as well as fans.

"No~! I wanted to see the spin," Lisa whined. "Why didn't they do the spin?"

"I know! I wonder why they decided to change the choreography," Jisoo pouted.

"Damn, no spin?" Zico wondered.

"Darn, they didn't do it? What changed?" Kai wondered with EXO.

Fans tweet:

'Are you fucking serious!? Jennie and Jungkook wtf!? I am PISSED!'

'JenKook y'all had ONE JOB!! ONE!! We wanted the spin!'

'I know these damn babies did not skip their highly anticipated dance move of BST,'

'I stayed up all night only for them not to do the spin!? Big Hit, I'm about to sue! Count your MF days!'

'Who scrapped the spin!? I wanna fight! #BringBackTheSpin'

'LISTEN!! If it ain't broke don't fix it! Nothing and I mean NOTHING needed to be changed in JenKook's duet. Keep it like it is! It was perfect! #BringBackTheSpin'

Backstage after their performance, Jungkook laughed at the flooded tweets from Armies and other fans. They all were complaining about them not doing the dance move and it surprised him to see how much viewers enjoyed the unique move. The couple wanted to do something a little different for the Melon Music Awards but clearly, their decision did not sit well with everyone which amused them.

Jungkook tweeted for damage control, 'Ah...we didn't do the spin this time. Sorry ARMY. We will do it next time,'

Immediately fans replied:

'Y'all better! That move is generational!'

'What were y'all thinking switching it up!? We better get nothing but sexiness the next time y'all do it! I am so serious!'

'Bullying works guys!!'

'Y'all know better!'

'OH ARD! That's what I thought. You two better raise the bar next time!'

'GOOD! It better be sexy af the next time you two perform it! I need my JenKook crumbs!'

'I hope the next time they do the move they take it up a notch. Their chemistry has me glued to my screen!'

'THANK YOU!!'

As the show was drawing to a close, she sat in between Yoongi and Taehyung while they watched the presenters call the nominees for album of the year. In Jennie's mind, she assumed EXO was going to win it. EXO had been powerhouses for their albums and the big 3, JYP, SM, and YG always swept these big awards. However, it was an honor to even be nominated in the category for The Most Beautiful Moment In Life: Young Forever album.

She sat, relaxed, already ready to applaud EXO for winning the award as she waited for the presenter to say it.

"2016 Melon Music Award Best Album of the Year goes to...BTS!"

The sound of the group's name caused Bangtan to widen their eyes, looking at each other in utter disbelief.

Did they REALLY just call BTS the album of the year winners!? WHAT!?

Idols around them stood up, equally surprised that a group not from the big 3 won the award as they applauded them. GFriend cheered happily, bouncing up and down as Hayoon yelled cheerfully for Jennie. Namjoon immediately stood up, stunned by the announcement.

"Oh s—" Hobi shouted in shock.

Jennie sat in her seat dumbfounded as she looked around, glancing at the members who equally had the same shocked expression.

"What the f—" she stopped herself as she covered her mouth, trying to process the news that Bangtan had just won their first Daesang.

Daesang...they won a Daesang!

"We won? We won!?" she slowly stood up once the rest of the boys did.

Armies around the venue cheered and screamed as they waved their ARMY bombs in celebration.

"Ahhhh Jennie looks so surprised!" Hayoon giggled to her group before quickly rushing over to embrace her.

It started to become a tradition for these two to find each other to hug, high five, or do something whenever they won an award. Hayoon grabbed her hands and jumped up and down excitedly with her.

"BTS did it! BTS won! I'm so happy for you!" she beamed, pulling her in for another tight hug.

"Holy shit, what the hell is happening!? Is this real!?" Jennie exclaimed, hugging her tightly.

"Yes! Go up there!" she laughed and lightly pushed her forward after pulling away.

Jennie adjusted herself and began walking up to the stage with the rest of the group as they bowed to everyone. She walked with Hobi and Suga as a bright smile came across her beautiful face, feeling her heart pound. As they made it to the stage with Namjoon holding the award, she stood in between Jin and Hobi.

"ARMY! Thank you!" Namjoon shouted on the mic with a big smile as he tried to control his overwhelming emotions.

Seeing Jin start to cry made Jennie begin to rub his back to comfort him. She did her best not to cry herself as she soaked in this moment with the boys. Noticing Hobi looking like he was about to cry, she went to rub his back too, comforting him.

"We have received the best award since our debut here at the Melon Awards. Bang Sihyuk PD-nim, Big Hit Entertainment, parents and friends who have helped us, I want to thank them again and ARMYs, I love you! ARMY, I LOVE YOU!" Namjoon shouted with elation.

After he finished his speech, the members all went in for a big group hug. They all had big smiles on their faces, feeling euphoric from this victory. When they make it backstage, they are still stunned and thrilled that they won the award with a Bangtan Bomb camera filming them.

"Wow really...wow," Namjoon spoke, still processing everything.

"I was so surprised," Jungkook said on camera.

"We weren't anticipating it. We really weren't expecting it. We weren't even expecting it one bit,"

"Thank you so so much. We were so shocked,"

"We won! We won~! I still can't believe it!" Jennie squealed and shook the camera. "Thank you so much!"

Noticing Hobi's tears running down his cheeks with the foundation running down too, Jennie embraced him tightly while the camera filmed them.

"I know...I know..." she murmured. "I'm so proud of us,"

"Army, thank you so much!" Jin said on camera with his tear stained face while Jennie released Hobi. "Thank you, Army! Thank you, Army!"

"Bring it in," she outstretched her arms for Jin and he immediately kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly.

"She gives the best hugs," he told the camera.

After they returned to their seats, Jennie sat in between Hobi and Jin to continue to watch the show while pulling themselves together. As EXO closed the show, she watched their performance in admiration.

"I wonder what it would be like to close an award show," Jennie wondered out loud with a smile.

Jin listened and began to speak as she looked up at him. "I believe that one day we will get the opportunity. If we can get this Daesang then this is just a step forward in achieving more as a group,"

"Yeah. We will, for sure,"

After the show, they took photos with the trophy and hugged the staff members as they continued to celebrate. Once Angelina found Jennie, she ran and jumped on her, making them both fall to the floor as they laughed.

"Ah~! I am so proud of you! BTS did it! BTS won album of the year!" she began giving Jennie multiple kisses all over her face as she continued to laugh.

After they got up, they embraced tightly, getting emotional.

"Wow, look at you! Thriving in BTS! That album deserved album of the year! It has bangers on top of bangers. This is your motherfuckin' moment, sis! Enjoy it!"

"Thank you! And thank you for being here to support us," Jen murmured against her shoulder.

"You know I'm always going to be there for you just like you are with me. You're stuck with me for life, sis. This win is only the beginning. Watch Bangtan soar to new heights after this! You better enjoy the damn ride, it's gonna be a fun one!"

After pulling away, Angelina wiped Jennie's tears.

"I'm not gonna lie, I thought EXO was gonna win it. When they said BTS I was like what!?" Jen continued to ramble as the camera person for the Bangtan bomb began to film the other members to get their thoughts.

Later on, Jennie sat down on a chair and took in some deep breaths to pull herself together while Jin and Jimin rubbed her back.

"I'm okay...I'm alright...wow...this feels like a dream. This feels like a freaking dream," she sighed.

She shook her head and started praying, thanking the Lord for this moment as emotions came over her again. Tears ran down her cheeks as she whispered to herself, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

After she was done praying, she looked up and smiled at the guys when they all went to comfort her. "We did it. We really did it. This is amazing. Wow...over the big frickin' 3!? Blessed! I am so proud of us! Thank you. All of you for making this experience so fun and rewarding,"

"Your family is on the line!" Angelina beamed and handed Jen her phone to reveal her parents and sisters on facetime.

It was wholesome hearing them scream and cheer for Bangtan. The boys even jumped in to say hello and thanked them for their support.

"Ok now that we got the celebrations out of the way, why in the hell didn't you and Jungkook do the spin!?" Jennie's mom complained causing Bangtan and Angelina to laugh.

"Yeah! We were looking forward to it!" Alani frowned.

"You guys need a redo! ASAP!" Vienna added.

"I admit I was looking forward to seeing it and felt my world crashing down when it didn't happen," Jennie's dad spoke up.

"You are so dramatic!" Jennie laughed. "Not you all mad we didn't do this spin, tonight,"

"We'll do it next time," Jungkook grinned. "We promise!"

"You two better. I'll be watching," Jennie's dad pointed at them.

--------------

Days later, Namjoon was in his studio doing a V-Live to catch up with ARMY. As the live went on with fun and engaging moments, he then started to talk about Jennie. A proud smile appeared on his face as he thought of her.

"Jennie is the best. She has been improving a lot behind the scenes and continues to keep a good head on her shoulders. When I first saw her, I was watching the audition for the Bangtan Girl for BTS. She stood out to me because of her outfit choice." He chuckled. "She looked like she was going to wreck someone. I had my head down, so I would listen closely to each person's lyrics created for bulletproof, while V was next to me. As soon as I heard her verse, I had to look up. I know she was probably a bit stressed getting hit with a bombshell of creating a verse for the song over a weekend and presenting it on a Monday but she made it work and she impressed me. When I met her, I thought she was very determined and cute. She's like a little sister to me. And I feel like a proud big brother watching her improve every day in her skills. Ah...I'm getting too personal, am I? Sorry,"

His eyes scanned the comments flowing in.

'Awwww keep going, it's okay! This is so cute!'

'NamJen forever! Best bond in Bangtan!'

'Awwwww he looks like a proud big brother!'

'Thank you for always taking care of Jennie!'

'My baby Jennie and the best leader Namjoon! Thank you for being there for her!'

'Thank you for being a great leader to her!'

"I just want to be the best leader for her. And I want to be that strength she needs to keep pushing forward. She has improved so much over the years. She was so timid when it came to filming music videos, but after filming videos like Dope, Fire, and Blood, Sweat & Tears, I've seen her confidence and charisma grow. I may not understand what it's like to move and work in another country like she did but she has really opened up and become more comfortable here. She's fully adjusting to South Korea. And I'm very proud of her. All of Bangtan is,"

As he continued his live, someone knocked on his door and he turned around. Announcing the person to come in, Jennie strolled in with a bright smile and a plate of cookies.

"Hey! Here, I just made them. I'm going around delivering cookies before working in my studio,"

"For me!? Really!? Oh, this is a great surprise. I'll help myself to these now," he thanked her and took the plate to place on his desk. "You need to open up a bakery,"

"I want to! I wouldn't mind going to culinary school or something. I'd love to make my own business and open up a bakery, one day. We'll see what the future holds. Oh, you on live? Hey, ARMY! I miss you, guys! How are ya?" She waved and read the comments.

'Jennie!!'

'Hi, mom!'

'She baked again!!'

'Jennie, I love you!'

'Do the spin with Jungkook!'

'Do the move with Kookie!'

'JenKook spin for MAMA!'

'JenKook move!'

'Why didn't you do the move at Melon!?'

'Ma'am we want answers about Melon! What happened to the spin!?'

"Yo...." she began to laugh out loud at the comments. "Not y'all roasting me again for not doing the spin. It's been a week! Is it that serious? Oh my gosh,"

Namjoon started to laugh at the comments too, amused that this has become such a big deal in the fandom. When he heard even idols were asking about the spin, it was clear that JenKook had a chokehold in the industry with their strong chemistry.

"ARMY has been a little upset about that," he brought up.

"A little? They spamming my Instagram, too. I didn't think it was going to cause this much of a fuss. You guys really like our signature move?"

Comments rushed in:

'DUH!'

'The way you two dance together are goals!'

'YES GIRL!'

'I can't with her lmfao.'

"Look forward to MAMA, okay? I gotta go but cheer us on at MAMA. Everything will be worth the wait. See ya!" she beamed and left.

----------

The day of the MAMA Awards was finally here. The day Jennie anticipated the most. She had a good feeling about this show and was excited to show off her hard work with what she had planned. The morning of the show, she decided to tweet one simple word along with an eyebrow raising hashtag.

'Bet. #GonBeAnInteresting24Hours #Jen' 

Jennie had been a trending topic on Naver and various K-Pop news outlets, which caused people to anticipate the MAMA Awards even more to see what might happen and if she may respond to Hyuna. Her silence on the matter had been a hot topic and now with her tweet going viral, fans stirred in a frenzy.

People tweeted:

'Uh oh!'

'Woke up and chose violence I see. Now I have to stay up and tune in. What time does the show start again EST time??'

'She broke her silence!'

'She's about to get her lick back!'

'Hyuna has not realized what she had done and is about to face the consequences,'

'Aw, shit...'

'She is about to piss people off and I'm going to love every second of it,'

'No matter what happens and no matter what you do, we will always love you, Jennie!'

'You about to respond!?'

'Hyuna is attending the show, too!! Uh oh....'

'Guys...I think something big is about to happen. Bigger than what we may think. Something is gonna go down tonight,'

'I'm so scared for tonight. Jennie, what are you about to do?'

Already in her short ruffled white dress, her hair was put up in a bun with hair on the side as she sat to get her makeup done. She also wore a small daisy pin for good luck thanks to G-Dragon gifting it to her on her birthday.

"Jen, what can viewers anticipate from you, tonight?" J-Hope asked with a grin as he was getting filmed for their MAMA 2016 Bangtan Bomb.

Glancing up, she smiled. "Expect the unexpected,"

-----

As the members got out of the car for the Red Carpet, they were met with loud screams, photography, and cheers with the MCs announcing their arrival. Jimin held out his hand for Jennie to take and he aided her out of the car.

"Thanks, Chim," she smiled warmly.

It was awesome to see international fans travel to the MAMA Awards. She tried to wave and make eye contact with every fan she could. Peeping some of her fansites made her heart soar. The dedication they had for her did not go unnoticed. Miss Bangtan heard her name get shouted, making her turn to who it was as the fan giggled excitedly and waved. She waved back and grinned as the fan was happy to have caught the moment on their phone.

The group proceeded to walk and made it to where the MCs were, standing on the stage.

"It's BTS, who are taking the world by storm, that is entering, right now. They're a group with perfect performances and won an award for producing their own albums,"

No matter what, Jennie didn't think she'd get used to all the screaming and cheering. It was like each event they attended, the screams got louder and she came to realize Bangtan was really moving up. It was a beautiful thing.

As Jungkook walked closely behind her, he caught a whiff of her perfume. He closed his eyes for a brief moment, smiling softly, enjoying the scent.

"You smell nice," he murmured, opening his eyes.

She glanced back at him and smiled. "Thank you. Hayoon got me some new perfume for my birthday. I like it,"

"I like it, too. You should keep wearing it,"

"I will,"

She stood in between Jimin and Jungkook as the group did their greeting and struck a pose just for the fans.

"Today since we are here at MAMA, we personally would like to hear some good news," Namjoon said on the mic.

"We are just one month away from 2017. Can we ask what plans you have?" The MCs asked.

"We're planning a fanmeet in Japan," Jin answered. "And we're working hard on music production so please look forward to it,"

Just a short while away before the show began with idols heading to their seats, Hyuna made her way to the stage and sat in her seat which was front row. There was tension in the air as anticipation filled to what Jennie might do as a response. Everyone was interested to see how this was going to go and idols were living for the drama. Gossip went all around the idols as they had private discussions on what might happen and who might win this.

"Where is Miss Bangtan?" Chanyeol wondered as he looked around, seeing that she wasn't sitting with the rest of BTS.

"Probably still getting ready?" Sehun assumed.

"I just want to see what she has planned tonight. Hyuna is already seated," he pointed out.

With Jennie, being the social butterfly and eager to meet her favs, she had strolled backstage to find the three men she wanted to meet. First up was Timbaland. He had been invited to perform with Eric Nam and to receive an award. Timbaland had worked with so many artists and was one of the many inspirations to her. She still believed he, Nelly Furtado, and Justin Timberlake were one of the best trios ever in music. They mixed so well.

He was so chill in person and they took a few photos. He even looked pleased to see a black woman here as she thanked him for all his work. Perhaps one day she'll get a chance to work with him. She shared that she DJs and has been making songs for herself that are not quite ready to be released. He encouraged her to keep at it and gave her advice on making music which she took to heart, feeling grateful for his words. One day she will share her passions with ARMY. 

Meeting Wiz Khalifa was a fun experience, with them sharing a hug and him having a big grin on his face. She expressed her admiration for his song with Charlie Puth and that she couldn't wait to see him perform tonight.

Meeting THE Quincy Jones had her starstruck. One of the greatest music producers of all time was in front of her as they shook hands. Her face warmed when he called her gorgeous and it was sweet of him to take time to talk to her. He listened to her talk about making music and he gave her lots of words of wisdom on creating.

She could listen to Quincy talk all day. He had a way with words that made her feel like she could do anything her creative mind envisioned when producing. But what stuck out to her the most was when he told her some of the best advice he had gotten.

"Your music will never be more or less than you are a human being,"

And it stuck with her. Being an idol is exhausting at times but she loved the work and the way it paid off. She wanted to remain happy. She wanted to continue to thrive with Bangtan and enjoy life. She wanted to speak her truth. She had to be vulnerable tonight when she got on that stage for her solo. She truly needed to dig down deep tonight when responding to Hyuna.

After tonight, she wanted to remove all negative thoughts and move forward with everything. And to take a break from social media. A break from social media was needed. Breaks were good and she could always see it assisting her mentally.

After speaking to these men, she felt a fire light in her and felt even more musically inspired. She posted the photos on Twitter with the caption, 'An honor to meet these amazing & talented black men! Night has been made! Thank you for your kindness and words of wisdom! #Jen'

After going to the bathroom, Jennie made her way to the stage, earning loud cheers from fans when they saw her. She smiled and waved, heading over to where Bangtan was sitting. She ignored Hyuna's presence as she walked past her and acknowledged her idol friends sitting around. Fansites filming her caught some reactions of some idols watching her in awe, admiring her look for the night as she took a seat next to Jungkook at the end.

"Welcome back!" Jungkook grinned.

"Yeah, glad to see you smiling, brighter. Did something happen?" Hobi asked.

"Thanks! And yeah, I got to meet Wiz, Timbaland and Quincy Jones! My heart was racing a bit! They were awesome! I took photos with them. You'll see on our Twitter," she beamed.

The members were surprised and happy as she talked about the interactions she had with each of them. They could tell she was creatively moved by their words of wisdom. Soon after, the boys were all immersed in their own conversations while Jennie tried to adjust her bracelet which was put on a bit too tightly. She accidentally dropped the bracelet and both her and Jungkook aimed to kneel to grab it.

"Thanks, I got it," she glanced at him with a smile, grabbing it first as they both rose, still sitting quite close.

Jungkook got caught in 4K with the way he kept his eyes on her while her focus was on the stage and audience members as the show was preparing to start soon. The way he glanced at her up and down as a small smile came across his face with his lingering gaze did not go unnoticed with fan sites filming them.

Feeling his eyes on her, she turned and looked at him up and down, with them both occasionally glancing at each other's lips. Then they began to smile as she found herself getting lost in his blue contact colored eyes.

No wonder things felt like something was missing. The two of them realized they hadn't kissed each other all day. They'd been so busy preparing for the show and making sure their dances were fine that they didn't even get a chance to share one kiss today.

"Do you two need to be separated?" Yoongi asked teasingly while covering his mouth to avoid getting his lips read by fans watching them. This became a reoccurring thing to cover their mouths so they could speak more freely at these shows.

Jimin and Taehyung started laughing since they had been watching the couple this whole time.

"They haven't kissed at all, today. Jungkook might just go feral," Jimin giggled.

"Yeah, you two need to be separated," Yoongi advised with an amused smirk, making the 95 Liners laugh again.

"We really don't," Jen replied. "We'll be on our best behavior,"

"Are you sure? You two are distracted by each other," Taehyung teased.

"Do you remember where we are?" Jimin added to the teasing.

"Did we fail to mention we caught Jungkook's pleased expression when smelling her new perfume? He can't get enough,"

"Hyung!" Jungkook glared, feeling his face warm.

"We've moved to you two enjoying each other's smells and scents you use? You two need to relax," Hobi laughed.

"Oh my God, can you leave us alone and stop watching us?" Jennie exclaimed, feeling her face flushed.

"Should I be concerned?" Jin asked, listening to the conversation. "Maybe you two should switch seats," 

"Seriously?" Jungkook frowned.

"We'll be on our best behavior, Jin," Jennie reassured.

"Are you sure? Because I do not believe that,"

"Neither do I," Namjoon spoke up with a light laugh.

"You guys are exaggerating!" Jennie exclaimed. 

"This time, I don't think we are," Jin chuckled and let out a sigh, already knowing they were going to drive him nuts tonight. "Just please try to behave yourselves and stay professional tonight,"

"Sir, yes, sir!"

Once the show began, Jennie jumped for joy and found herself getting emotional when IOI won Best New Female Artist. Cameras caught her looking proud and ecstatic for the girls with her eyes getting watery.

When GFriend and Seventeen performed for their collaboration, Hayoon was paired up with Vernon. The synchronization of the two groups blew Jennie's mind as she had her jaw dropped at their dancing. When Gallant performed, she smiled over at Taehyung since he was a big fan and cheered loudly with him, overjoyed with his performance.

As Baekhyun and Suzy performed Dream, Jen watched him, mesmerized as the camera caught her singing along to his parts. The members would glance over and smile at her being so into the song, knowing how much she adored him. It caught a lot of attention from Exols and ever since Jennie started meeting the EXO members, Exols took a liking to her. They loved how vocal she was about her admiration for the group and how highly she spoke of them. The EXO members would always have nothing but good things to say about her and enjoyed their sweet moments together. Armies and Exols wondered if they'd share another moment tonight.

Later, Bangtan managed to win Best Dance Performance. However, Jin and Taehyung weren't with them when they announced them as the winners, causing Jennie to laugh. They were probably in the bathroom. Nonetheless, she stood up with the rest of the boys, bowing and thanking everyone with big smiles.

"Yeah! Go, Jennie! Congrats guys!" Bam Bam shouted and approached them with Yugyeom.

The two Got7 members high fived her, Suga, and Jimin before they went up to the stage. Rapmon gave the award to Hobi and stood behind him so he could do the acceptance speech. Jennie smiled proudly as she stood next to him and listened to him speak.

"Wow! Thank you so much for such a huge award," Hobi said on the mic. "And since it's the best performance award for us, there is a larger meaning behind it. Thank you so much. And to the ARMYs who are always supporting us, thank you so much. And I would like to thank Teacher Son Seung Deuk who created this best performance,"

Jennie chuckled once Taehyung and Jin rushed on stage to join them. They both gave her a look as the three of them tried not to burst out in laughter. The trio smiled at one another while Jin placed his hands on Jungkook and Rapmon's shoulders, smiling at them.

"Thank you so much!" Hobi ended his speech, earning loud cheers.

"Thank you, ARMY!" Suga shouted.

"I love you!" Jin added with Taehyung and blew a flying kiss.

----------

As Zico performed Boys and Girls, Jen sat in between Hobi and Taehyung, vibing and doing the choreography. Once he made his way over to where Bangtan was sitting, the members danced in their seats while he took a seat near Rapmon on the arm of the couch. When Bermuda Triangle came on, she stood up with Hobi and Taehyung, getting hyped as they watched Dean and Zico back on the main stage.

"This is my shit!" she started dancing and vibing to Dean, singing along with Hobi and Taehyung.

Don't let 'em in, let 'em in

Get out my zone

We, we, we never know

We, we, we never talk

'Cause we, we, we criminal

Don't let 'em in, let 'em in

Get out my zone

She laughed out loud when Taehyung began dabbing and she followed his movements, making him happy. Once Zico summoned Crush, Jennie immediately turned and locked eyes with Jungkook who was still sitting as they pointed to each other and lip synced his verse.

Nuul jaril jedaero bogo nuwoyaji

Y'all fake bitches tryna act like me

Anjaseo meongman ttaeryeodo nae sopa wie (ssodajineun)

Mula, mula, we gon' pour up

Murder, murder, sumeul jungnyeo

Sangkwaehae ne meori wie gonggi

Nobody can't come over here

Dean, Crush, and Zico killed it on stage, hyping up the crowd. It was one of her favorite performances of the night. Later on, Jen switched seats again and found herself sitting at the end with Jungkook. She grinned as the next act consisted of a collaboration between Got 7, Monsta X, and NCT 127.

Get it lifted

As soon as NCT's Firetruck began to play, Jennie began nodding her head to the beat, enjoying the song. This song was a banger and one of her absolute favorites.

"Firetruck," she mouthed, beginning to lip sync the song while dancing in her seat.

"Ey, yea, yea, yea, yea!" She fan chanted with the audience and Jungkook.

The camera showed Jennie and Jungkook both on the screen as loud cheers occurred and they looked at the camera, headbanging. Bangtan giggled at their enthusiasm and so did some other idols who peeped them on screen.

Fans tweet:

'Why they matching each other's energy so loudly?'

'Their face cards!'

'They're making the same facial expression, so cute'

'JenKook!!'

'I think she does a little bit too much at these award shows. Just sit and enjoy the show, not all the excessive dancing, taking attention from the artists on stage,'

'These two are so beautiful. Wow!'

'Lmfaoooo they are a mood!'

'I'm really happy Mnet is showing Jennie on screen. Her reactions are always so lively instead of others just sitting there,'

'I love how excited she gets about all these groups. Still a K-Pop fan at heart. I'm happy she still reacts this way at shows,'

After NCT performed, Jennie cheered on Jooheon who rapped with Taeyong. His flow and attitude were amazing and she paid close attention to how he performed. Once Monsta X began to perform Fighter, she ended up cheering for Wonho when he was shown singing. She passionately sang his lines while fans had tweeted how Wonho biased she was. After their performance, it was time for Got7 as they performed Hard Carry with her dancing along.

As the show went on, she was proud to see Seventeen win the World Performer Award as she was the first to stand and applaud. Seeing The8 made her smile widely and wave as he waved back.

"Gosh, I hope one day I'm chosen to present an award at one of these shows. It would be fun," Jennie thought out loud.

When the presenters began to announce the nominees for best female vocal performance, Jennie jumped in her seat and cheered loudly when Ailee was shown on the screen. Bangtan glanced at her with knowing smiles, loving her excitement for the woman she had admired for years.

Once Ailee was announced as the winner, she applauded, jumping up and down, excitedly. Just before going up to the stage, Ailee caught a glimpse of Jen and smiled widely, waving at her. When she gave her acceptance speech, the camera caught Jennie watching her with admiration. The angle of where Jennie was filmed caused Twitter to geek over how beautiful her face card was and point out the love in her eyes as she watched Ailee.

With the show getting ready for the next segment, Jennie suddenly received a few packs of smarties from Jungkook.

"How'd you know I was about to ask?" she happily accepted them with surprise in her voice.

"I brought some with me just in case. I was paying attention to your facial expression. When you're about to ask for smarties or say that you wish you had them, you make this cute face. It's like you're pouting,"

"What? I was not pouting..." She turned away, feeling her face warm as he giggled.

"You just did it again,"

"Stop looking at me," she playfully pushed him away, making him laugh harder.

Lately, with the members, her smarties are always on standby. Over the years of getting to know her, they started to understand and know exactly when she wanted the candy and managed to always hand them to her before she opened her mouth to ask.

"Still, thank you," she added and began eating them.

As she ate her smarties, she ended up tossing them up in the air to catch and eat. Wanting to challenge her, Jungkook decided to do it too with his pack of smarties to see who could catch more in their mouths. In the end, Jungkook won as he grinned victoriously while Jennie caught any smarties that she missed from her mouth with her fast hands.

Rule Number One: Do NOT waste Smarties

Next up on the show was Twice and IOI performing. Jennie looked and felt like a proud mom watching IOI perform Pick Me. Fansites caught her entire reaction to the girls performing and thought it was wholesome seeing her get emotional. Being a trainer at Produce 101 to seeing the girls thrive as a group made her heart feel complete. Whenever Jennie was shown on screen, loud cheers would occur and sometimes idols reacted positively when they saw her on screen, with some smiling and commenting that she looked nice.

Once IOI began to perform Very, Very, Very, Jennie began to do the choreography while lip syncing.

nal neomuneomuneomu

neomuneomuneomu neomuneomuneomu

neomuneomuneomu neomuneomuneomu

After they performed, Twice was up to perform Cheer Up and then TT as she watched happily, cheering her friends, Mina and Jihyo, on.

"Just like TT! Just like TT!" she performed the choreography with Taehyung.

-----------

It was time for Hyuna to perform, as some idols were anticipating if anything was going to happen. They hadn't found something this entertaining in a while and hoped something would go down between her and Jennie. Hyuna strutted on stage and performed U&ME. Then she performed How's This with her backup dancers.

Jennie thought it was extremely petty of Mnet to keep a camera right in front of her to film her every reaction but she remained unamused and watched with her head up high. Bangtan didn't even like the fact that the camera was basically in her face nor did Armies.

Suddenly, Hyuna had changed some of her lyrics, not looking Jennie's way as she danced.

Not a high and mighty girl scout in the club behind some fake bulletproof glass. How boring.

Some idols widened their eyes while others glanced over to where Jennie sat.

Yet another diss? This was getting out of control.

Bam Bam cringed and glanced at Jennie with worry, hoping she'd be all right. Hayoon frowned at the diss and shook her head slightly.

However, Jennie only smirked as she continued to watch, knowing that all eyes were on her to see how she'd react. Bangtan glanced at her and as she met their eyes, she gave them a nod. They nodded back and remained calm as they continued to watch the performance.

Suddenly a switch flipped in Jennie's demeanor as she rolled her neck and stared at Hyuna.

'This bitch got me fucked up...' she thought as she kept her cool.

Fans tweet:

'Not again!! Enough already!'

'Is she trying to provoke Jennie?'

'Don't be mad if Jennie catches her in an alley to stomp that ass!'

'The neck roll! I repeat! The neck roll! Jennie just did the neck roll! That is BAD! She got something planned! Get ready!'

'I don't like how she's acting. This is bullying at this point. Hyuna needs to chill,'

'Jen better than me because I would have ran on stage and popped her shit,'

'From the looks of it, Jennie is so bitter and jealous,'

'That smirk means business. I'm not ready,'

'I wish people would stop judging Jennie,'

'Jennie looks like she's plotting,'

'Why does she look so hot when she's upset?'

'Bangtan knows something that we don't because they don't look bothered at all,'

'Bangtan isn't even phased?! What is Jennie planning tonight?'

Little did they know Jennie was listening closely and analyzing what she was saying to use it against her.

'High and mighty...' she thought, making a mental note.

----------

Timbaland arrived on stage to perform with Eric Nam.

And boy was it...awkward.

She sat next to Namjoon during this performance and covered her mouth to murmur to him, "Yo, Timbaland looks so confused. This whole performance is hard to watch,"

And he agreed. It was hard to watch. And she wished the crowd was more excited for Timbaland. It was THE Timbaland and the audience wasn't that loud for him in comparison to Eric Nam. No offense to him.

After being told they were needed backstage, Bangtan got ready for their performance. She changed out of her dress to wear black pants and a long-sleeved ruffled white shirt that hugged her body nicely. With her hair out, she wore a black suit jacket with some silver designs around it, and the daisy pin was placed on the jacket for good luck. As she got ready, she watched on the monitor to see that EXO had won best group and Twice won best female group.

Waiting to get on stage, Jennie ended up posting G-Dragon's iconic diss on the MAMA Awards on her Instagram story, which sparked even more interest in what was going to happen tonight.

"I got a little solo stage. It's going to be pretty fun. I hope everyone likes what I have in store," she beamed at the Bangtan Bomb camera after warming up her voice.

She looked ahead to see Jin checking out the special effects makeup on Taehyung's back to show off his broken wings. He went on the touch it but began to freak out, causing her to giggle.

"It feels like pudding!" Jin exclaimed.

"Why is Jin Hyung so childish?" Namjoon wondered, causing Jennie to laugh again.

The laughter loosened her up and made her less on edge about tonight's big performance.

She was ready.

After everyone was ready and went over last minute rehearsals, the eight of them gathered around and put their hands in the middle.

"All right, fellas! Let's make it a memorable one!" Jennie cheered.

"Indeed! Mama 2016, let's make it a legend. Bangtan! Bangtan!" Namjoon shouted.

"Bang-Bangtan! Fighting!" the group shouted and pushed their hands down.

----------

Backstage with the rest of the boys, Jennie watched with a smile as Jungkook looked ethereal while hanging from the ceiling on stage. He really did his thing. And it was harder than it looked.

She turned to the backup dancers who were patiently waiting for their cue to come out after they performed BST. She greeted them happily and asked if the cookies she made for them yesterday tasted fine. They raved over their love for her baking and appreciated her kindness. She wanted to thank them for being such a great support system for Bangtan and wanted to give them something nice.

"Let's have some fun! See you out there!" She beamed and bowed at them.

On stage, next up was J-Hope performing Boy Meets Evil, hyping up the crowd with a blue background. Then Jimin was revealed on stage, featuring a red background as he danced to Lie while blindfolded.

"The camera work though~?" Jennie watched in awe while the camera did a full circle as he danced.

Then the two had an epic dance collaboration on stage while performing the rest of the choreography for Boy Meets Evil. After they were done, the rest of the group met up on stage and began to perform Blood, Sweat, & Tears as the audience cheered loudly.

wonhae mani mani mani mani

wonhae mani mani mani mani mani mani

wonhae mani mani mani mani

wonhae mani mani mani mani mani mani

Here we go, the most anticipated part. The audience had been waiting to see a MAMA Award version of their duet. As the rest of the members were on the floor, only Jen remained standing with Jungkook. Like always, Jungkook stared at her with love and desire as he slowly made his way toward her from behind. With his presence behind her and face near her neck, he held her in his arms. She leaned into his arms as she began to sing with her mic.

How much longer before you consume me?

No matter how much I resist, I can't fight what you're doing

He turned her around and tried to get closer but she backed away. Persistent this time, he pulled her straight into his chest as he smirked and held her gaze with the audience screaming at their closeness.

My mind is telling me to break free but my body is freaking out

No, I can't want you, get out of my head

As you love every inch of me you see that I want it too

They continued to dance sensually with him mirroring her movements.

Breath on my neck, I bit off more than I can chew

Reflecting on my choices, I'm wonderin' if there's any way out of this

"Here comes my favorite part!" Yugyeom pointed out with the rest of Got 7 agreeing.

"Are they about to do the spin, this time?" Somi asked the IOI members as they were hopeful.

"Are they gonna do it?" Baekhyun wondered.

"The part is coming~!" Yuji giggled with the rest of GFriend.

"The spin coming?" Mingyu asked in anticipation, leaning forward, studying their movements.

"Let it be the spin," Mina had her fingers crossed.

"Here comes the spin!" Wonho cheered.

The idols got excited and so did the crowd as they began screaming and cheering when JenKook did their signature move. Everyone watched in awe at how they moved and thought about the amount of trust that was needed to pull it off. They weren't called The Golden Duo for nothing.

Jennie was pulled back into his arms as she continued to sing.

I'm losing this battle, I just can't resist. 

The music changed slightly from the original instrumental of BST. Jennie and Jungkook were supposed to dance a little more for this instrumental but they remained close and pressed up against each other with her in his arms. They held each other's strong gaze and suddenly their lips met as they drowned out the loud pandemonium around the venue.

With their eyes closed, Jungkook gently lifted her chin and turned his head to deepen the kiss as they both smiled into it.

With the idols, Bam Bam began shaking Jackson while their jaws were dropped, looking shooked. Jay B and Mark widened their eyes while the rest of Got7 acted chaotic as they all enjoyed every bit of the surprising moment.

"What!? What!?" Jackson shouted as he fell dramatically.

The boys laughed at his reaction. Yugyeom grinned immediately once he saw them kiss and let out a chuckle. It made him proud to see Jungkook be so open about Jennie like this. The amount of guy talks they had about girls and how Jungkook's eyes would light up whenever he mentioned her made Yugyeom understand that these two were serious about each other.  

The kiss fit so well with the performance and her lyrics. But there was no denying the love in their eyes as they looked at each other and how they kissed.

With IOI, various reactions occurred as some dropped their jaws, widened their eyes, covered their mouths, and giggled to themselves. Some filming them even caught a few of them mentioning how happy and cute Jennie looked with Jungkook. With EXO as they watched the kiss unfold, Chanyeol covered his face, giggling at the sight. Baekhyun smiled genuinely, watching Jennie kiss the man she loved dearly.

"Full of surprises," Sehun chuckled.

"Very," Xiumin added.

Twice looked at one another, surprised at the sudden kiss. They were excited to see their signature move but a kiss on top of that? Blown away. Mina and Jihyo glanced at each other with big smiles, happy for their friends.

"Did you think that was going to happen?" Jihyo asked.

"I didn't think it would but look at them. So cute! Jennie truly loves him. She smiles so brightly with him,"

"Mm hm!"

With Monsta X, the boys reacted dramatically and were in awe at their chemistry.

"I was waiting for a kiss!" Hyungwon pointed out.

"Me too, I was like, they have to do something big," Shownu chuckled.

"I wasn't expecting that at all, like damn!" Jooheon exclaimed.

All of GFriend gasped and then began jumping and squealing in their seats after seeing them smooch. Hayoon giggled with the girls and pointed out the kiss.

"It's happening! It's happening! I cannot stay calm about this! Finally~!" Hayoon cheered and began clapping with Yuji and Eunha.

"They kiss so passionately, my gosh," Sowon looked on, amazed.

Seventeen looked surprised while Mingyu and The8 happily smiled, enjoying the fact that their friends kissed openly on stage.

Meanwhile, Hyuna rolled her eyes as her reaction was filmed and she began to frown. She had her fair share of kisses on the MAMA Awards stage but the way the audience was screaming and cheering was a much louder reception than hers over the years.

With Bangtan, the boys were caught by surprise by their kissing. No one said anything about a kiss on stage. Jimin and Taehyung did their best not to freak out as they focused on the performance. The way they grinned and glanced at each other while they remained on the floor. Their hearts felt full to see their ship this open with each other in public. They especially loved how the kiss was a deep and passionate one and not just a short and sweet one.

Yoongi had enlarged his eyes a little at the bold move, wondering if this had been planned privately in advance. Getting over his initial shock, he became amused.

'These kids...' he thought.

Namjoon wasn't too surprised about it. He knew Jennie and Jungkook loved to be extra. He felt proud to see them show affection to each other on stage, not having a care in the world. They looked happy and that was all he wanted for them. To be happy like this privately and publicly. He found himself getting amused as he glanced at their passionate lip lock.

Mnet was having a field day with this. Ratings were definitely through the roof now with this shocking moment along with them raising the bar on this passionate kiss.

Jin and Hobi screamed internally when they saw them smooch. They weren't expecting it and thought they'd go along with their routine. After getting over the shock, it pleased them to see them be this bold in public and thought it fit well with the performance.

Back with Jennie and Jungkook, they pulled away as she bit her bottom lip lightly, returning his smile.

But then...reality set in.

'Oh...oh shit,' They both thought and realized what just happened.

They both remained "In Character" for their performance although it was pretty clear their feelings were showing out. It was bound to happen. The kiss was not planned at all but they moved to each other by instinct. And it felt good. So good. She kissed her boyfriend in front of the entire world, solidifying a MAMA Awards moment.

Remembering her last line, she finally sang the end of her verse.

Only a matter of time before you screw me up and I'll be stuck reminiscing. 

Jungkook had to refrain from kissing her again as they both leaned back in which caused more screaming from the audience to occur. Then they reluctantly pulled away as he blew out air and shook his head a few times, trying to control himself from making out with her on stage.

'We're on stage. We're on stage,' Jungkook reminded himself as he kept backing away from her and went to the next dance position for the song.

With the screaming still occurring around the venue and fansites of Jennie and Jungkook catching their every facial expression, this moment was on its way to going viral.

People on social media were going crazy over the timeline with memes and various tweets:

'JENKOOK STANS RISE!'

'It wasn't even a quick kiss! That kiss was longer than anticipated!'

'My man did NOT want to let her go.'

'They both looked like they didn't want to let each other go. They were both in a trance!''

'We said spin not kiss wtf wtf AHHHHHH!'

'WHY DID SHE KISS HIM!? WAIT!'

'Oh...OH! They playing this BST sexy persona a little TOO well!'

'The way he had the GRIP on her?! Jungkook PLEASE!'

'The way he backed away!? She got him straining!'

'Jungkook saw an opportunity and took it! That smile into the kiss!? Oh, my man wanted to do that for a LONG time!'

'Why is he kissing Jennie!? Why!?'

'I'm fine...I'm totally fine...'

'We shipped the right ship! They kissed! They fucking kissed in front of everybody!'

'Were they acting!? Because that looked too real!'

'Jennie looked so dazed after kissing him!'

'Rookie King Kiss on STEROIDS!'

'That kiss was too American!'

'Do you see how happy the 97 Liners are looking?! Something is up!'

'Cries in Taennie!'

'The kiss that was meant for Taehyung nooooo!'

'And to think this was supposed to be Taehyung in this position instead,'

'How to be Jennie? Had sexy scenes with Taehyung and now gets to kiss Jungkook on stage? Lucky!'

'It's happening! Everybody stay calm! Stay fucking calm!'

'That tension is something that cannot be replicated because I was going crazy watching them on my screen. I was like KISS! And when they did I screamed! I didn't think they would do it!'

'How can I be Jennie in this moment?'

'A stage kiss!? Is this a stage kiss!? This looks so real!'

'Jennie's acting lessons are paying off. She is playing the part well of slowly giving in to temptation. Jungkook is hard to resist!'

'THE TENSION! THE BEDROOM EYES!? OH MY GOD!'

'WTF WTF A KISS!?'

'WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!'

'JENKOOK POR FAVOR!!'

'I have no choice but to Stan. Jennie show me your ways. First it was Taehyung, now it's Jungkook!'

'We got a man down! Jungkook get up! He is obsessed!'

'The way I felt like a third wheel I–'

'Jennie STAND UP! Ma'am you're supposed to be resisting temptation!'

'He down baaaad! What is happening!?'

'AHHHH'

'SKSKSKSKS'

'WTF JUST HAPPENED!?'

'They taking it to a whole new level!'

'OH MY GOD'

'Lives are about to be CHANGED!'

'Y'all can stop being in denial now! JenKook forever! Better than your other ships!'

'They are stressing me out! Can they PLEASE confirm it!?'

'Do you know how long we've waited for a kiss!?'

'JenKook stans we up!'

After performing the rest of the song and heading backstage while Jin and Taehyung do their final act together, Jungkook pulled Jennie into his arms and looked down at her.

"No turning back now," he grinned.

"I know," she grinned back. "I feel relieved and happy,"

"Me too. Kill it out there. I'll see you, soon. I love you,"

He cupped her face and pulled her in for a deep kiss, followed by multiple short kisses.

"I love you, too,"

"Was that planned?" Namjoon laughed.

"It just happened. I don't know who leaned in first," Jennie admitted.

"I don't know either but I'm not complaining," Jungkook added.

Jimin and Hobi jumped excitedly with Yoongi.

"JENKOOK~!" Yoongi shouted, making them all laugh as he started shaking the couple.

"Oh my God..." Jennie chuckled.

"JENKOOK~!" Jimin shouted. "Do you know how happy Tae and I were!? Our ship is soaring! Finally! That kiss was everything! You two know how to make us proud, huh?!"

The staff members had to step in to get them to separate so they could get them to their next location for the main stage while Jennie remained where she was. She waved goodbye and got ready.

"Jennifer."

She turned to see Yoongi.

"Control your emotions out there and wreck her life. You got this," he nodded in reassurance.

"Thanks, I will. See you out there," she nodded and saw him walk away, only leaving Namjoon.

Namjoon smiled down at her and held her hands, giving them a gentle squeeze.

"Jennie, you are undeniable. You are so good that they can't ignore you. This is your moment. Show them who Miss Bangtan is,"

Her eyes got glossy as she looked up at him and broke out into a grin.

"Thank you,"

He pulled her in for a big hug, kissing her forehead.

"I am so proud of you. And I am proud to be your leader. I'll see you out there,"

Once he left, she let out a deep breath and waited for her cue as she gripped her mic. The backup dancers were currently on stage, some in white cloaks and black cloaks while a Bangtan Bomb had been filming her all this time.

'Why did you and Jungkook kiss on stage?'

She was asked as a smile crept up on her lips at their lip lock. Turning to the camera she responded with a wink, "I did say no matter how much I resist I can’t fight what you’re doing. I officially fell into temptation. It was worth it though,"

Once the staff told her she could go on stage, she touched her daisy pin, thinking of G-Dragon. As soon as she got back on that stage...she knew everything was about to change.

"I hope I continue to make you proud," she murmured.

PART 2 OF THIS CHAPTER

#jungkook x oc #bts 8th member #bts additional member #bts female oc #bts female member #bts fanfiction #jungkook fanfic #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fluff #bts black oc #kpop black oc #jungkook x black oc #kpop fanfiction #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts fluff

[taeyungie]

😺

#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet #i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean #he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today #and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this #its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back #but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason #he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much. #he would want that for all of us right #but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus #the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months. #thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time #and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol #my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most #when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most. #but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway #i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit #i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody #because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right #and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated. #i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do. #to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him #nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it #anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓 #please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓 #we have esch other and we will be okay 💓 #sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓

[honexjams]

everyone who's disabled one way or another and simply has to keep going to work no matter how devistating it is on your body and/or mind, I see you and I love you. that shit is so rough and you're an absolute trooper for keepin it pushin

#talkin.555 #disability #cfs #i tell myself this every day #i dont even have a diagnosis for whatevers goin on w me but some type of way #my legs bad my heart bad my anxiety is present which it never rlly was as a teen n shit so like #something #def is going on #my personal theory is cfs but goddamn do i not have the energy to schedule a dr appt #and i brought it up to my pcp and he was like #first of all u ducked out on the last 3 appts so bringing up a whole xtra thing is like not sumn im equipped to address #which is understandable #but also he was like nah ur prolly fine just get more sleep #like dawg #ive tried every sleep schedule feasably possible for weeks at a time each to self test if i can manage anything better that way #and Now that ive exhausted my personal efforts to self doctor i am coming to you and u just say #nah prolly not #like mf i am livid #i cant stand for more than 10 mins without limping and i have a series of quitting jobs i liked because i couldnt handle the physical strain #of standing up for 8 hrs #im always groggy my brain foggy my hearing slow and i cant move like a 21 yo usually does like #there is something wrong and he didnt even give me time of day #like sorry i gave u an extra hour off a few times the past few months but like i am miserable and wanna know #Any way to at least help #lotta tags #sorry abt the rant im just #a commie and dont think a 40 hr work week is good anyway #and ive been progressively getting worse with my Exertion Tolerance for bout 3 years now #like i would love at least a finger in the right direction #from a med professional

[iniquity-fr]

look i’ve done plenty of bitching and whining myself about the ancient gene bloat and how long it’s taking them to implement solutions to handle that (and complaining about them continuing to add ancients/ancient genes in the meantime bc i hate the damn things anyway lol)

but it is getting so exhausting watching people flip their fucking lids about how “site activities were fine we didn’t need THIS part updated, why did they do this part first, why didn’t they address the MP first, staff won’t fix the parts that actually need fixing omg!!!!!!” they are getting to it. further updates are coming. they have repeatedly told us there will be further updates to deal with the gene bloat, this one new exchange shop is not in any way the end of it. how many times does staff have to say other parts of the site will be fixed before people stop acting like they don’t care and won’t fix anything.

yes it’s taking them an agonizingly slow time that they’ve just been making worse in the meantime but good lord the amount of people acting like they’re just outright refusing to deal with the gene bloat at all is absurd. like why even pitch such a fit about the site activity genes getting a new system first as if staff can go back in time to cater to your desires instead?

and it’s like almost always people claiming gene bloat is at its worse in the MP despite the fact that the MP has filters already and the problem is… honestly barely a real problem there at all. can you please figure out how the site works and what the actual issues are before whining. thanks

#if i have to read one more why did they fix baldwin genes first and not the MP i am going to scream #the mp should honestly be the last priority bc it has filters oh my god you can filter the ancient genes out its been over 2 years #please learn to bitch and moan efficiently you are whining about a near-nonissue that is still going to be addressed in time #the amount of people who clearly don’t read site updates at all yet still think their opinion is warranted on stupid drama blogs….. #‘staff should have fixed THIS part FIRST instead!’ ok. what do you want them to do about that now. honestly. #besides implement the fix they have already been saying they are going to implement. what else do you want. really. #being impatient about it is one thing lord knows i feel that one but acting like a fix isn’t coming at all.. are you fucking stupid.

[bootyful-seventeen]

Got called mopy and moody and an overall killjoy for not enjoying the one (1) party experience I had in February of last year cuz I kept getting left alone at a party so I just sat and had nachos 🤙🏻🤙🏻🤙🏻

#it all started cuz I am still confused on what we’re doing for this weekend cuz bestie here isn’t articulating clearly #I ask about Halloween and she says they’re going to the club cuz no one goes on a Tuesday #I wouldn’t know I’ve never gone to one since I don’t ever wanna go alone and no one asks #then she said it’s for a friend’s birthday AFTER I asked if we should take the birthday girl out to a rage room or axe throwing cuz the bday #bday girl had shown interest in it before but it got shut down fast #by this point I still don’t know what club they wanna go to let alone what day but I do get told that since I tire out faster then them #that I’ll have to go home alone and that is just raining alarms in my head cuz I’m guessing it’s in Toronto and they’ve turned into Gotham #it’s such a shit show during the day so I know it’s gonna be worse at night with the cover of darkness #and did she not hear of that story of these 2 girls who nearly got TRAFFICKED BY THEIR UBER???and she wants me to use one alone?? #in toronto???? bro I ain’t risking shit for some place I don’t know the name or address for #and says that she’s been clear this whole time on what’s going on and doesn’t want a repeat of last time #when idk if it’s just me but the only clear thing here is that I’m not really wanted for the night out #cuz clear would be saying where and when and also who and how which I never got any of that but she keeps saying she did tell me but didn’t #the first written convo was just her asking the birthday girl if they should dress up as tiana and Belle #and I ask if they’re gonna wear gowns cuz it’s gonna be cold out #all she says is we’ll be inside and when I ask I get no answer just more costume suggestions the next day #the second time it’s breathed is when we’re on the phone and I ask about what we doing for Halloween #she says that we’re clubbing and I ask if we ain’t doing anything else like the seasonal shit we can’t do any other time #she just says no and tells me I can stay home after I suggest a few things and she calls them childish #like going to a haunted corn maze or the Halloween event at casa loma cuz yes getting spooked is childish #I even threw in axe throwing cuz bday girl has been stressed and thought she might like it #then today I ask if I should go up for the weekend cuz idk wtf is going on still and it’s been almost 2 weeks and there’s a mini argument in #the group chat with her saying the same 2 things. we clubbing and you’ll have to go home alone #birthday girl is just as confused on who’s going but says that on Friday we can go to a movie and dinner so I’m not left out #so at least I get somewhat of an answer on if going up is worth it or if I’m getting ditched the whole weekend #so at least if I’m going back up I can make plans to hang out with her brother and whoever else wants to hang #idk maybe see a movie or go to the mall or something #like shit at least give me all the info to decide if I wanna go especially music cuz that first and last party did not have good music tbh #I know if at least enjoy myself at a 90’s/2000’s party cuz I like that but nope I don’t even get that #just club or bust essentially :/ and it seems I be bust by what she said

[lilyaceofdiamonds]

I really hate how much my brain hates to do new things sometimes

#oops i’m ranting in the tags apparently #tw for uhh depression and anxiety and eating difficulties in the tags if you read them #i made it to the door of a cafe two blocks from my flat #i’ve walked past it a dozen times in the six months i’ve lived here #and the menu looks good it’s coffee and breakfast foods and sandwiches #and they have donuts from a donut place i like #but it’s in a building with like three doors right next to each other and i didn’t know which one it was #and now i do bc i thought to check the address online #and made it to the door but it looks small and there were People there because it’s like noon duh #and i couldn’t see if there was more table just by peeking through the window while trying to look like i wasn’t peeking in #so i stood a foot away from the door and then left and went to my normal coffee place one block in the other direction #but i still haven’t gotten FOOD which is … not great i haven’t eaten anything in a couple days #i mean i had chinese food that i split between sat and sun as my lunch at work #but i should probably eat something but i’m tired of only going to the chipotle near safeway or the pizza bar which isn’t open yet anyway #which leads us back to i hate my brain and i’ll probably just end up getting chipotle again #but there are so many local restaurants that i want to try!! but i’m so picky about food while also hating to ask for modifications #and i used up most of the energy today dragging myself into the shower for the first time in dayss #and i need to do laundry and go grocery shopping and do the dishes and and and #and i’m still fucking exhausted even though i passed out on the couch last night and didn’t drag myself out until like 11 am #and i have work tomorrow so laundry NEEDS to happen because i worked eight days in a row and have zero clean work clothes #and i can hear my stomach growling at me because coffee was not enough and i know better and i’m really not trying to starve myself to death #but goddamn i just don’t want to have to do anything #i hate this #why brain why #mental health: deteriorating #my ramblings

[gentlethorns]

still can't believe i finally got that scene written last night. that signifies that the novel is really truly in the last mile of its marathon. it's been a surprisingly easy race despite it being essentially my first. i am so excited i can TASTE the end it is so close!!!!!!!

#she bork #novel 2024 #like i'm losing my MIND i'm actually so excited to keep going today bc like it's almost done!!!!!!!!!! by the end of the next week i think. #middle of the following week at the latest. god literally UNBELIEVABLE i have a first draft completely written and pretty damn structurally #sound at 22!!!!!!!!!!!! didn't think i could do it tbh i am so proud #idk like there are obviously some issues and inconsistencies that need to be addressed in the next draft like for example the scene i wrote #last night felt a little chaotic and like it didn't have the tension i was aiming for (although to be fair that might be the narrator's #experience of it - just chaotic with no time to really pause for tension) and there are spots throughout that i don't feel carry the weight #and richness of emotion they demand. there are things i need to braid into the earlier story so they match the ending and remain consistent. #and there are some characterization things that i need to tweak and write in. but overall plotwise things are pretty fucking solid and i #feel plot has always been my main obstacle to creating a truly viable novel so i'm hoping the other shit comes relatively easy to me and #that i can edit it to be strong enough to support the plot and the message. ugh i'm just like so scared that it's actually just gonna be #100k words of absolute bullshit but also just excited bc even if it's shit it's still 100k words!!!!!!!!!!

[the-californicationist]

he opens the mail

Captain Price opens a package, thinking it’s intel, but it’s a sex pollen. The only cure? Your pussy, apparently.

Warning: sex pollen tropes, extremely dubious consent, attempt at satire?, angry john price

“We’re never going to make this deadline. Laswell’s gonna kill me,” you complained, burying your head in the pile of envelopes and packages strewn over your desk. 

“Did this to yourself, lass. Shoulda been keepin’ up with intel duty. Wee bit at a time, ��s what I say,” Soap patted you on the shoulder, feigning pity. 

You spent hours combing through the documents, and by the time everyone had gone to bed, your fingers were covered in paper cuts, and your vision was blurry from squinting at the poorly scrawled Cyrillic words. 

You thought you were alone, and as you stood up to stretch and refill your coffee mug, Captain Price opened up the office door, scaring you half to death. 

“Oh, hey Corporal,” he smiled and then furrowed his brow, “What are you still doing here?”

You sighed, pointing to the piles of documents,

“Laswell’s intel backlog. I’m the only one with a Level 3 linguistics cert for Russian, so here I am. Gonna be an all-nighter.”

He closed the door and sat down across from your seat, digging into the pile, 

“I’m Level 3. Let’s finish it.”

“Captain, you don’t have to do that. I’m sure you’ve got more important things…”

Price shook his head, taking off his hat and hanging it on the chair back,

“Nah, tha’s alright, love. I’ll help ya. Get us a tea, yeah?”

You knew how he took his tea, and you hated that you did. Secretly, you were obsessed with him. He was always around, smelling like balsam wood and tobacco, looking like a gladiator, huge and capable in the most masculine way. It was hard to concentrate when he was nearby. Now that he had offered to help, you had to grin and bear it. 

You worked together for a while, chatting, even laughing. It was nice. You had so much in common, the conversation flowed easily, and you found yourself much more at ease. Finally, three packages remained. You opened the first one and found little more than phone records for a local library. Unhelpful to say the least. Price opened a water bill, and he recognized the address of a recent Konni base location. Any intel at this point felt like a celebration. Then, the final box. 

“Go on then. Show us the ending,” he smiled, handing it to you. 

“Couldn’t take the joy of ripping up the last letter, Captain. Be my guest,” you smiled. 

He chuckled, tearing into the envelope. In a flash, bright pink powder sprayed him directly in the eyes, and he writhed in pain, pinching them shut, his whole body going stiff. 

“Fuck me!” He shouted. 

“Hang on,” you ran over to the sink in the kitchenette, “Here’s some water. Get that shit out of your eyes.”

“Don’t,” he moved away from you like you were on fire, “Don’t touch me. Might be contagious.”

Your chest was rising and falling with your labored breathing, and you were immediately worried. You reached for your phone and called Laswell.

“Laswell, Price got anthraxed by one of the intel letters. What do you want us to do?”

She gasped, 

“What? Shit. I’m on my way.”

She hung up on you. You watched Price slowly try to open his eyes. They were stained hot pink from the powder. 

“You alright?” You asked him. 

“Yeah, love,” he sighed, “Doesn’t hurt anymore. Feeling strange though. Laswell said she’s coming?”

You nodded,

“Yeah, just in case.”

He nodded, running his hand along the inside of his collar. The captain was sweaty and a little pale. 

“Captain, are you okay?”

“Mmm, no,” he shook his head, “Something’s not right, love.”

He stood and went to the sink, washing as much of the powder off as he could. You moved away from him and stationed yourself across the room, praying for Laswell to hurry. 

Price was in a bad way. He took off his shirt, and he was still dripping with beads of sweat. You tried not to stare, but his temperature wasn’t the only thing heating up. His huge cock was making a prominent tent in his pants, but he was in too much pain to bother hiding it. You felt yourself blushing, and you willed yourself to pull it together. 

“…fuckin’ hell,” his hand went to his crotch to squeeze his length, trying to find some relief, “Sorry, love.”

“It’s okay,” you said politely, trying to breathe normally, but feeling the slick rush melt between your legs. 

“It’s makin’ me…feel…bloody hell. I can’t hold it off. Can…can you…? No! No, what the fuck am I sayin’? No,” he shook his head, rubbing his hands down his face, hot and very bothered. 

You inched closer to him,

“If I haven’t been affected yet, I’m sure it’s okay. How should I help you?”

“No! No, stay back. I’m not…I can’t think straight. My mind’s got one thing on it,” he shoved his hands beyond his zipper and began to jerk himself off, his dick making lurid noises with his hand. 

You hated seeing him so helpless. You moved to his side,

“Cap, it’s okay. Let me help you.”

His hand was around your throat in milliseconds. Price shoved you against the wall and began to kiss your mouth, furiously laving his tongue against yours. 

“No, no, no,” he whispered through his kisses, not bothering to pull away as he spoke his lamentations. 

You made the mistake of putting your hands on his chest to steady yourself. He moaned, trembling beneath your touch,

“Ahh, careful.”

“Sorry,” you pulled your hands away, still trapped in his firm grip around your neck, “did I hurt you?”

“No, doesn’t hurt.”

He said it in a way that darkly implied your touch was igniting a different kind of fire. You put your hands back where they were, and his eyes shot open, piercing through yours with a lustful rage. Unexpectedly, he ripped off your shirt and lay you down on the black leather couch in the corner of the office. He crushed you with his weight, kissing you deeply. 

Then, your phone rang. He didn’t allow you to pause, so it went to voicemail. It rang again. You were getting just as hot as he was, and you weren’t that interested in who was looking for you in the middle of the night. Until, however, the door to the office burst wide open and Laswell and Gaz burst through it. 

Price snarled. You’d never heard a man make that noise before. Laswell put her hands on her hips while Gaz tried to shield his face in shock. Laswell rubbed her forehead, frustrated,

“Are his eyes pink, Corporal?”

You escaped his jaws for a moment, 

“Yeah, why?”

“It’s a sex drug. Forces the user to fornicate as it is only passed through the body in seminal fluid, dissolving in the heat of another person’s body. Are you volunteering here? What happened?”

Her tone was so matter of fact, it was a little humorous, if Price’s length wasn’t rutting against you in earnest, you might've laughed. You tried to explain as much as he would allow,

“Got too close… just… happened. How…” you moaned as Price pulled down the strap of your bra and helped himself to your nipple, “How did you know?”

She sighed, typing something into her datapad,

“Checked the incident log from this afternoon. Four more cases of this have popped up in intel collections. Gonna have to screen for it next time.”

She turned to walk out of the office with Gaz, and you called after her,

“Hey, wait! How long does it - oh, fuck… how long does it last?”

Laswell had the audacity to smirk at you, raising her eyebrows and cutting her eyes at Price’s swollen cock, lolling out of his pants, scraping itself against you. 

“Eight hours. Looks like you’re in for a rough night, Corporal. Maybe next time you’ll be more careful.”

Part 2

#call of duty fanfic #cod mw2 #cod mwii #captain john price #cod #john price #captain price #captain price x reader #captain price x you #captain john price smut #captain john price x reader #john price x reader #afab reader #Female reader #x female reader

[fingertipsmp3]

Did something toxic and now I feel bad

#so you know how i quit my last job in flames after getting in a screaming argument with my boss because the demands she placed on me within #the time frame that was allotted to me were unrealistic and frankly insulting? #well. i was curious whether they’d managed to replace me yet (i.e. find a schmuck who was willing to work 40 hours a week but be paid for 18 #and design a whole curriculum from scratch and sign up 50+ students singlehandedly etc etc within two weeks with no support) #and it turns out they have! #the way i found this out is i made a fake email address under a fake name (i added a string of numbers after it to ensure i wouldn’t be #taking a username from someone who legitimately needs it) and sent in an inquiry to the college about this course #and yeah. just got a reply from my successor today #she seems nice. i hope my boss learned something from me (i.e. how to treat her fucking staff) #i also hope the spreadsheet i left behind helped because my god #i’m also super curious about if she interviewed in the same round that i did. because if i was the first choice and not her… 👀👀👀 #all i’m saying is treat your staff better or you will end up with different staff #i wish her all the best. i’d warn her to be on guard not to be taken advantage of but it would be verrry obvious who that warning came from #and i don’t particularly need a defamation suit in my life. i mean i’d win it because i literally have proof of everything. but still #tl;dr: got curious if i’d been replaced at my old workplace; turned out i have been. don’t particularly care but am amused #would fistfight former boss if i could. the woman could write a book on how to kill an nqt’s enthusiasm for teaching in 1 week #the way i literally don’t want to teach ✨ever again✨ because of that fiasco. and i did genuinely enjoy teaching!!!!! like WOW #anyway. i’m going to go back to my knitting #personal

[viennakarma]

In my life (I love you more)

Part 2 of Say Something (Alternate ending)

Summary: Navigating pregnancy is an adventure on its own, but doing it with your recently divorced ex-husband is on a whole new level. But maybe it's the perfect opportunity to find your kinship once again.

Word count: 8.3k

Tags: Female reader, established relationship, ex-wife reader, reader is an architect, cheating, smut, pregnancy symptoms, pregnancy sex, fingering and oral sex, lactation kink (briefly), chilbirth (not descriptive), lots of fluff, open ending, happy ending, not beta read

Relationships: Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Notes: Again, sorry if it's rushed or something, I was just going with the flow. Feedback and opinions are appreciated xx

Find me on Twitter!

It’s different getting settled on your new, divorced life, and with a baby on the way. You kept trying to establish a new routine in your new place, while going over and over on what to do in your head.

You knew you were keeping the baby, because that’s something you always wanted. And for a few weeks, you weren’t sure if you would tell Lewis.

Then, you started thinking about going through the pregnancy alone, which you knew you couldn’t do. Then you thought if, god forbid, something happened to you during childbirth, if you died, who would take care of your child? What would happen to your baby? But also, you got lost in thoughts about the future, about the kid not having a father growing up, about your kid finding out you had hidden them from their father. You wasted only a couple of weeks until you made up your mind.

You knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep at night keeping something like this from your ex-husband.

That’s how you were a little over twelve weeks when you finally sent Lewis an email. You could’ve called or texted him, but you were only willing to talk in person.

I’m not sure if you’re interested in hearing anything from me now, but I urge you to come meet me this Saturday at 11 am. I have some important things to talk about with you.

Attached, you sent him the address of your new home. It was a complete shot in the dark, adding the fact that he never replied to your email, you were unsure if he was gonna show up.

Hugging yourself inside your winter coat, you wondered if you did right by inviting him to your home. But then again, you didn’t want to have this conversation in public and risk Lewis being recognised.

You made tea and were waiting outside on the porch when he finally showed up, right on time.

God, he was easily the most handsome man you’ve ever seen in your life, still. He was dressed in a dark blue coat, and simple cargo pants. He stopped when he saw you, visibly emotional.

“Hi, lo- Y/N” he almost slipped up.

“Hi, Lewis. I’m glad you came,” you whispered with a small smile.

You were just as stunning as the day Lewis saw you for the first time, beautiful skin, sweet smile and the kindest eyes.

“What happened? Do you need help?” He asked, and you just shook your head, with a small smile, and he added “you look so content. So different from the last time I saw you.”

“I am, Lewis. Still adapting but I really am,” you gestured for the house, you started walking, “come on in. It’s cold outside.”

You two entered, and removed your shoes by the door, getting comfortable.

“I need to tell you something, Lewis.”

“Is it about the divorce? You know I would come back to you whenever, you just need to say the word and I ca-”

As he started rambling, you just removed your coat, showing your little baby bump, now starting to show. Lewis stopped talking abruptly. He was shocked, jaw slack as he stared from your face to your belly a couple of times.

“I’m dreaming,” he turned around, slapping his own cheek as if to wake up.

“I’m pregnant, Lewis.”

Lewis turned around again, taking in your figure. You were wearing those elegant pajama sets you’d always wear whenever you wanted to feel comfortable at home, but the shirt was hugging your figure tightly, specifically around your middle, displaying the baby bump.

He felt a lump on his throat. He had dreamt of this throughout your relationship, but even more after he lost you. Lewis would dream of you and your family almost everyday, waking up crying over what his mistake cost him.

But now, now you were right in front of him, pregnant with his kid.

You mistook his silence for confusion, so with a heavy heart, you said:

“The baby is yours, but I don’t mind if you want to take a paternity test. I know it’s been a few months with no contact, so I understand if you have doubts ab-”

“No, no! I believe you- I do!” He interrupted your turn to ramble, “I guess I’m just a little bit shocked.”

There’s a brief, awkward silence as you two stood there. Lewis was staring at you so intently, so in awe that it made you squirm, so you walked further inside, going to the kitchen to leave your cup of tea, now empty by the sink. Lewis still walked after you, still looking at you like you had hung the moon or something.

“You’re stunning, Y/N. Just how I imagined you would be when pregnant.” He whispered. You felt yourself blush with the open compliment.

“Thank you, the morning sickness is dying down now, so I’m feeling much better these past few days.” You told him.

Someone rang the doorbell, and you went to check followed by Lewis. You opened the door to your new neighbor from down the road. He greeted you quickly, and handed you a small box full of cherry-tomatoes.

“Oh, thank you so much, James! You’re a lifesaver!” You waved at him, as he got in his car and drove away.

Happily skipping back to the kitchen, you washed and put the cherry-tomatoes on a plate, seasoning it with a little bit of salt and pepper. You ate the cherry-tomatoes raw, only after the second bite, noticing Lewis was still there, even more confused.

“Who’s that guy?” Lewis pointed to the door. He didn’t like the idea of other men coming to visit you. Especially that James guy who looked at you as if you were the most beautiful goddess to grace the earth. Well, you were the most beautiful goddess, but still, only Lewis looked at you like that.

“He’s my neighbor down the road, a couple of kilometers down. Him and his mom have a small plantation of fruits and vegetables. I told her I was craving cherry-tomatoes and she kindly sent them to me,” you said, taking another bite right after, “this is the best I’ve ever had. So fresh!” You exclaimed, eating a couple more.

Lewis looked at you, giddy with your little cherry-tomatoes, and he felt something in his chest expand. He smiled at you, looking so happy and healthy. The last two images he had of you were, you miserable around the house in Monaco, and the other was of you making love with him so passionately but so sad. The last time he touched you intimately, and lovingly, it was painfully obvious it was a goodbye to you, but to him it had been a chance, he had let himself be blinded by hope.

He had so many questions about the pregnancy, about how you had been feeling and what you wanted to do that he couldn’t help but feel a little overwhelmed. Still, he took a deep breath and just said:

“Have you been having lots of weird cravings?” He asked, staring at you, still munching on the cherry-tomatoes.

“I’ve been craving fruits a lot this past week, the other day I wanted green mango with salt, but it’s so hard to find tropical fruits around here!”

Lewis grabbed his phone and texted Kevin, one of his assistants, telling him to find fresh mangoes anywhere as fast as possible.

“How are you? How are you feeling?” He put the phone away, eyes focused on yours.

“In regards to health, me and Peanut are completely fine. I’ve been really sleepy, taking naps all the time…”

“Peanut?” He smiled, eyes shining to the little nickname.

“So, the first craving I had was so bad I spent three days eating anything with peanuts. People have some really creative recipes on the internet.” Your words made Lewis laugh out loud, that one giggle that you had not heard in months. One laugh that used to make you so happy, “but really, we're fine. I’ve had some doctor visits now.”

“That’s good. I told my family about our divorce. Mum tore me a new one.” He gave an awkward smile.

“I know, she called me to apologize.” You let him know. You were still in touch with his mom, not having the heart to cut her off.

“Hey,” Lewis leaned in, his expression serious again, “I know I failed you in our marriage. But I won’t fail you in this pregnancy, ok? I want to be there every step of the way, if you allow me to.”

“I know, Lewis. I never doubted you would,” you sighed, pushing the plate away. You always knew Lewis would want to be there for you and his kid, “I just- I’m sorry it took me a while to reach you. I was confused and overwhelmed, heartbroken, everything at once, and I had to comprehend what I wanted to do. In the end, I couldn’t allow my baby to grow up without a father, and I know you will be a loving one.”

“Thank you, I hurt you so deeply, just- Thank you for letting me know about Peanut.”

“I know it will be difficult to get over our problems and the divorce, but I was hoping we could co-parent, as friends,” you told him.

“Whatever you want, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I’m aware that's not how we planned things to go…” your eyes were wet with unshed tears, sometimes you still mourned the future you had with Lewis before, “... But we can do it, right?”

“We can do it. Peanut will be so happy.”

He was so sure, so confident, that it gave you a weird sense of security, knowing he will be there no matter what, knowing Peanut would have a loving father. It was a huge weight lifted from your shoulders, and now you could just focus on trying to go through a safe pregnancy.

“Tell me about your routine, how are you adapting here?” Lewis stood up, looking around.

You told him how you had reduced your work hours, to only work during the mornings, usually finishing up around noon, then you had lunch, then if you had any errands to run, you’d go to the city, then prenatal yoga class, and doing your hobbies the rest of the day.

While you were explaining your routine, you went to the pantry and got cat food out, your new companion showing up, meowing.

“You got a kitten.” Lewis pointed out.

“That’s Olive. I’ve always wanted one,” you said as if he didn’t know it, your fingers scratching behind her ears. Your voice didn’t have any malice, but Lewis’ own blame made your words feel like a jab.

“I know.”

Lewis stared at the fluffy gray cat. You had always talked about how growing up you had a cat that passed away when you were around fifteen. You had mentioned adopting a new one a lot after you got married, and still, Lewis never felt inclined to support the idea, he thought you two already had Roscoe, who you had to leave with a caretaker most of the time. He just thought you two wouldn’t have the time for another pet. It made something inside him burn with shame seeing that now that you were divorced, you finally got the little pet you always wanted.

You kept talking, telling Lewis how your parents are constantly traveling here to keep you company on weekends, and how you had been changing a few furniture, because you bought the house already furnished, but you wanted it to feel more like you, including a flowerbed by your porch. How you met a couple of neighbors, and how you had been exploring Edinburgh’s museums and galleries at least once a week.

It hurt him hearing about how you were moving on, meeting people and places, buying things and making plans when he was still stuck in the past. He was still wishing every morning he would wake up in your arms again, how he would share one big cup of coffee with you in the mornings, how he used to hold you in silence for a good 20 minutes after you woke up because you don’t like talking as soon as you wake up. How you would peck his lips every time he had to pack a bag to leave. How he would kiss your ring finger every time before he hopped in the car for a race.

Now he would walk past your office, and your work supplies weren’t there anymore, and the furniture didn’t have charcoal stains anymore, and the house didn’t smell like your tea and the bedsheets didn’t smell like your strawberry body scrub and shower gel thing.

Lewis spent the day with you, chatting like you were just two friends catching up. There was still a lot of baggage none of you wanted to touch just yet, so you just brushed past any awkward silence, and distant, cold chatter. It took a couple of hours to feel fully comfortable with each other. You had seen Lewis as the love of your life for so long it was mind boggling now having to put him in a “friend” category.

He left by the end of the afternoon, after leaving dinner ready for you.

“Will you unblock me?” He asked, getting ready to leave. You laughed but nodded, “You can text me anything. If you need something, anything really, call me or text me, yes?”

“Will do, Lewis. I’ll text any pregnancy updates too,” you walked him to the door, “Oh, wait! I forgot something.”

You went back inside scrambling into your purse for the sonogram image you had gotten the last doctor visit. You went back and handed it to Lewis. His eyes shone with tears as he understood what it was. He ran his thumb through the picture, tears falling down his cheeks. 

“Oh, wow. That’s my baby.”

You noticed how Lewis was still wearing his wedding band, and your chest constricted a bit. You knew more than anyone that it would take some getting used to remove the ring as you were still getting used to not wearing yours, but you had forced yourself to leave it behind. You wondered if Lewis had gotten rid of it after the divorce was finalized.

“Can I- Can I tell my family about the baby?” He asked you, wiping his tears with the back of his hand.

“Yes. Tell Carmen to call me after you tell her.” You smiled softly at him.

He stared from the picture to your belly, your small bump.

“Wanna touch?” You offered, and he smiled.

“Only if you’re ok with it,” he muttered. You nodded, raising your shirt up.

You pulled his wrist, placing his palm against your stomach. His hand was warm, calloused as you were used to feeling them on your body. His thumb moved up and down, caressing your bump and raising goosebumps in your skin. It took him a full minute to let go, like it was physically painful to leave.

“Take care, yeah?” He told you, walking away.

“You too.”

You went back inside after locking the house, the sun was already setting as you sat down to eat the dinner Lewis prepared. He had promised you to come back in a couple of days after his work commitments.

The next morning, you were working when the doorbell rang, and it was a delivery guy. He handed you a box and left. You opened it on the kitchen counter, and it was full of fresh mangoes and a small note.

“Anything you need. -L”

Lewis came back three days later, letting you know when he was at the airport. You knew he had told his family, since Carmen had called you and you spent a good hour talking to her on the phone the night before. You heard a noise outside and you went to your porch to see Lewis arriving in a pick-up truck. 

You walked up to Lewis with a small smile. He closed his fists, physically restraining himself as to not hold your pretty face and kiss you silly.

“Hi,” you said and your voice was sweet.

“Hi, beautiful mama,” he whispered, which made you blush. You eye the back of the truck.

“What is that?”

“I bought some stuff,” he patted one of the boxes, “this is an ergonomic chair, appropriate for pregnant women, I thought it would be useful since you’ll still be working for a while. And they had it in your favorite color too!”

“Lewis.”

“I also bought a few books on pregnancy, maternity and paternity. Already sent a few copies to my place too. There’s a bunch of baby clothes over there, a few are gifts from my family but most of them I just bought because I thought they were pretty cute.” He pointed to the other boxes.

“Lewis, it’s too much!” You wanted to reprimand him, but it was also sweet how dedicated he was being.

“Nothing is too much for Peanut and Mama,” he dismissed you, “and I didn’t even buy a lot of stuff because I thought we should do it together.”

He carried the boxes inside, while you got started on the meal for lunch.

“Why is this ladder here?” Lewis pointed to the folded ladder in the hallway.

“Oh, I was going to change the light!” You told him.

“Are you crazy, woman?! You can be doing all that while pregnant!” His voice echoed from the hallway.

“I’m pregnant, not ill!” You screamed back, and he laughed out loud.

There was only silence for a few minutes, so you checked the hallway to see Lewis changing the lights. As he came down the ladder, he put both hands on his waist.

“Anything else needs fixing?”

“You wouldn’t happen to know how to fix the door handle, would you?”

“Please, how would you doubt me?”

After Lewis fixed the bathroom door handle, he came back out and started helping you with the food. You ate while Lewis told you about his family’s reaction to the news. He guaranteed everyone was happy, but they were refraining to call and text you so as to not overwhelm you.

While you were on the phone with your mom, Lewis decided to unbox the new chair and take it to your new office. He looked around, seeing how this office was smaller than the one at home, but cozier. You had a big window with lots of natural light bathing the room. Whenever you were working on your projects on paper and charcoal, you liked using natural light to draw. There were a couple of scented candles around too. 

He took a little while to fully assemble the new chair, but as he came back down, you were taking a nap on the couch. He grabbed the blanket and covered you, and went back to put the dishes away. It was different, he hadn’t been so domestic in so long, and certainly not when you were married. Now he was just happy to be of service, to help you around just like things had never changed. He noticed you had put a panel on the kitchen, just like in the project for your family home, and your planner was there. It showed you had a doctor visit by the end of the week and pregnancy yoga twice a week in the afternoons, it also had your next museum visit marked for after the doctor. He took a picture of your planner, to align his to yours.

“Y/N, hey,” he woke you up softly, confused, you stared at him, “you have yoga class in like an hour, will you go today? I can drive you to the city.”

“Yes, sure.” You got ready and Lewis drove you there right on time.

“I’ll just drive around for a bit, text me when the class is over,” he said as he dropped you by the gym’s door. He ended up going shopping for baby stuff, and had at least seven shopping bags by the time he went back to pick you up. He stopped the car by the entryway of the gym, where a man had been excitedly talking to you. Lewis made a face, it seemed like everywhere he went, there was someone into you. Of course, you were radiating this glow and charm of a pregnant woman, seducing everyone around.

Impatient, Lewis honked softly to catch your attention. He bit his tongue as you said goodbye to the man, who hugged you way too tight for Lewis’ taste. You were happy and Lewis hated that you were giving that rando your sweet smile and attention. He didn’t say anything as you got closer and he left the car to open the door for you, instead, he showed you all the stuff he had bought you and the baby.

When the end of the week came, Lewis also came back as you were leaving for your doctor’s appointment. You had invited him but he also had taken a picture of your schedule.

At the doctor’s you laid on the bed and the doctor started the ultrasound, Lewis gripped your hand firmly, his eyes never leaving the screen.

“See, here, this is your baby,” she pointed at the little gray mass on the screen, she gestured to the nurse, “and this is their heartbeat.”

The sound filled the room, and Lewis felt like his world stopped and reset, a warm sensation in his chest, finding what felt like something to live and something to die for. He listened while you asked the doctor for updates, but his eyes never left the screen, where he could see Peanut.

As you left the room, with your next appointment scheduled, Lewis stopped you in the parking lot, pulled you to his chest, holding you firmly and breathing into you. He was crying, you held him and that moment, something started to heal inside you. Maybe you’d never get your husband back, but you could count on him as a friend, as the father of your kid.

“Everything’s gonna be alright, Lewis. We’re gonna do great for Peanut.” You whispered into his shoulder.

-

You and Lewis managed to get a routine, he was coming back frequently, he claimed your guest room and was staying for two or three days at a time, only leaving for his commitments. Both of you already did therapy separately but you also decided to go a few sessions with a family therapist to try and navigate the new family dynamics as divorced parents to an unborn baby. You talked about the cheating a lot, which brought big emotions during most of the sessions, with the therapist mediating until you could talk again. Lewis for the most part accepted taking you anger and sadness and hurt, apologizing profusely over and over again, reassuring you that he made a mistake he regretted every breathing moment. It took a while to make peace with the fact that his mistake shouldn’t define him forever, to accept and give him the opportunity to grow and learn for the sake of your baby.

“The season will start soon,” he told you one day, late at night as you ate quietly. You only hummed a response, unsure of what he wanted you to say or what point he was trying to make.

“Ok, understood,” you muttered, knowing he probably was letting you know he wasn’t going to come visit you as much, which honestly made you a bit sad, kinda used to his company by now.

“What I mean to ask is, can I move here? I know I won’t have much free time, so instead of going back to Monaco, I was wondering if I could come straight here. Of course, I would need to bring a few things, training gear, stuff from my office,” When you didn’t answer him, jaw slacked, he thought you might not like the idea, “But it’s ok if you rather not, too. I mean, if you prefer your privacy and all- I totally respect-”

“It’s ok, Lewis, you can move here for the remainder of the pregnancy,” you calmed his rambling, and he smiled seemingly relieved.

“Thank you, I don’t want to miss anything,” He whispered, crouching down by your side, putting his hand on your belly, “right, Peanut? Daddy’s gonna be right here.”

The next morning, you woke up, the breakfast was ready, and you looked around for Lewis, until you found him outside. He was wearing gardening gloves, making a hole on the ground with a trowel, and behind him a wheelbarrow loaded with flower pots. He was also shirtless, sweat glistening on his skin and above his tattoos, back muscles prominent with every move, which had your pregnancy hormones feeling some kind of way.

“Morning, what is going on?” You asked, hugging yourself as you approached him.

“Well, you said you wanted a flower bed on the entryway. So I had the time and thought I would do it for you.” He shrugged, removing the gloves.

“You didn’t have to, but thank you.”

As he stood up and when he turned to you, your eyes fell on his necklace, and more specifically, your wedding band hanging from the necklace like a pendant. You had wondered if he had gotten rid of your wedding ring, but now you knew where it was. Lewis swallowed like he was self conscious, putting his hand over the ring. It was so different whenever you thought about the cheating and the divorce, about the new normal you had to get used to. You weren’t angry at him anymore, but it would require a lot to rebuild the trust you once had in him. You decided to not address the elephant in the room, so you just looked away.

“I’m going to eat, thank you for breakfast, also.”

He only nodded as you got inside, swallowing the lump in your throat with a glass of juice and slices of bread. You didn’t mention the ring, but you could notice he kept wearing the ring under his shirts.

You went back to watch his races, commenting about it with Olive and Peanut, cheering when he was going well and complaining when he wasn’t. You’d hug him whenever he came back, for emotional support, you’d tell yourself.

You two decided you wouldn’t find out if Peanut was a boy or a girl, leaving the mystery to whenever they were born. And as the pregnancy progressed, it was inevitable that you and Lewis got closer, almost like best friends as he had seen your many lows of the pregnancy. That one time you craved cauliflower with barbecue sauce, or when you ate corn with sprinkled smashed cheetos on top, or when you farted loudly. He also had seen you cry because the delivery guy didn’t wave back to you as he was leaving, or when Olive hunted a small gecko and gave you as a present and you started just bawling. Or when Lewis hummed a song by a rapper you disliked and you started going off, snappy.

Honestly, Lewis took your mood swings and weird cravings like a champ with the patience of a saint. He had read about how pregnancy could cause your emotions to be all over the place, with outbursts of sadness or anger, and according to what he read, he just needed to help you let it all out. He had studied hard about pregnancy and was always willing to help. Funnily enough, you saw him more that season than all the five seasons you witnessed when you dated and was married to him.

One night you went to bed early, and when he went to your bedroom to check on you, you were moving a little, grunting in your sleep. Lewis immediately went closer, shaking your shoulders to wake you up from your nightmare.

“Hey, hey,” he called and you opened your eyes wide and you looked a little winded, “had a bad dream?”

Your eyes started tearing up, and he sat by your side, putting an arm over your shoulder for comfort. He ran a hand up and down your back as you wiped your tears. 

“Are you ok?”

“It wasn’t a bad dream!” You whined like a little kid about to throw a tantrum.

“Ok, you want to talk about it? Maybe I can run you a bath?” He offered.

“It was a sex dream!”

Your words caught him a little off guard.

“I’m sorry?” He tried to understand what he should do or say.

“Goddamn pregnancy! I’m horny all the time now, but I can’t cum with my fingers! And I bought a bunch of toys but the delivery had messed it up and it never arrived!” You cried even louder now, and Lewis had to bite his tongue so as to not laugh and cause more anger.

“I could help you with that,” he offered, softly. He was actually scared you’d punch him in the nose for offering.

Instead you just stood up huffing and puffing, and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind you.

“Sorry!” He shouted, standing by the door. Then a minute later you opened the door again, poking your head out.

“Will you help me?” You pouted.

“Of course, baby,” he walked inside, and you stood there wearing only a t-shirt and panties, “do you have something in mind or do you want me to freestyle?”

“Freestyle. Fuck, I just need to cum.”

Lewis sat by the closed toilet and patted his lap. You walked over to him, letting him position you sideways on his lap. God, you were so frustrated, and so horny your panties were shamelessly wet from the dream. He cupped you, running his middle finger up and down between your legs.

“Lewis, fuck,” you moaned, hyper sensitive, but still not enough, “if you’re going to tease me, I better finish the job myself.”

“Calm down, woman! I was just creating the buildup!”

“I’ve been building up for the past three weeks, Lewis. I need the finishing!” You whined and Lewis chuckled, pushing your panties down until they hung from your foot.

A loud moan escaped your lips as he ran his finger over your cunt, spreading out your wetness and when the pad of his finger found your clit, your hips jerked. You nuzzled into his neck inhaling his perfume and laying your weight on him, letting him do his thing. You had been feeling so sensitive because of the pregnancy, every single touch made your body jolt, curling your stomach already so close.

“More, Lewis, please,” you moaned into his skin, and he only hummed, pressing a finger inside you. His other arm was around you, holding you firmly against his chest.

“Like that, baby? That’s how you want it?” He asked, egging you on, going harder.

You could only moan as he took his time pressing into you, curling his finger and finding your most pleasurable spot.

“Oh, Lewis, fuck-” you moaned all the way up to your orgasm that had your toes curling and eyes rolling back. It took all his restraint to not eat your moans with a sloppy kiss.

Lewis slowed down, but he didn’t stop fingering you, and when you almost felt like it was too much, he kept going, cooing you.

“That’s ok, baby. Give me one more, yeah?” As you whined, pushing his hand away, he gave you a couple of seconds and went back, “you can take it, love. Gonna sleep so well after. You’re my good girl, aren’t you?”

He practically pushed you into the second orgasm, shaking, hand pressing your nails into his skin and you bit into his neck to muffle your moans.

Breathless, you just melted into him, sleepy again after cumming so good. Lewis cleaned you and carried you back to bed, letting you fall into slumber.

Raging hard, he ended up in the bathroom of the guest room, fisting his own length thinking of your moans and your teeth on his neck, that’s how he finished under the running shower.

The next morning, he smirked as you walked inside the kitchen, his winning smile hidden behind a mug.

“Shut up, Lewis, or I swear I’m gonna cut your dick off!” You warned. He held back a laugh.

“I didn’t say anything!” He raised both hands in surrender.

“Yeah, but you thought.”

“Look, whenever you need release, I’m right here for you to use me any way you want.” He smiled slyly.

“SHUT UP!” You threw a grape at him, which he caught in the air and ate. “I won’t be needing your services anymore, but thank you.” You whispered begrudgingly.

“If you say so…” He shrugged.

But that same night you ended up laid on the table, your dress hunched around your waist as Lewis ate you out like a man starved for the better part of an hour. You came loudly, grinding your hips to his face, pulling on his braids as he pulled orgasm after orgasm. Until you were limp and sleepy, and he cleaned you up and took you to bed.

It kept happening, but you never kissed or fucked, he would just relieve your tension with hand and mouth, and the few times you tried to reciprocate, he denied and said you were pregnant and needed the stress relief. You’d usually go to sleep right after he pleasured you.

After he left for a race week, you received a medium box full of sex toys, ranging from vibrators to suckers and dildos. He left a note saying it was for whenever he wasn’t there to fulfill your needs.

One morning, you were working, finishing up the last of your projects before going on maternity leave, when you felt a little poke on your belly, from inside. You squealed, and in mere seconds, Lewis was speeding up the stairs and barging into your office.

“What happened? Are you ok? Do we need to go to the hospital?” He panted, getting close to you. You just held his wrist and pressed his palm against your bump, where you had felt the thing.

“I think Peanut just kicked!”

You two stayed silent as you waited, and then you felt it just as Lewis felt on his hand. You cried, Lewis cried, and then he crouched, pressing his face to your belly, feeling a little kick on the side of his face. He laughed between tears.

“Peanut, daddy’s right here! You’re going to be so strong, baby!”

As your bump got bigger, and the pains got a little bit worse, you tried new sleep positions because of the back pains. Your feet swelled and your boobs and nipples got a bit more sensitive, so you had to change bras. Lewis was such a great help throughout the gestation, that you’d  always remember him as a great source of strength. Sometime after you were seven months along during Summer Break, Lewis ended up taking you to a spa resort one week, somewhere in Greece, where you had one of the best times ever. You got massages, went into the hot tub, swam in the pools and went to the beach.

One random day back home, you were feeling particularly bothered by the backache, laying down in different positions and walking around with a muscle pain tape glued to your spine. Whenever you felt like that, your mood got irritable due to the pain.

“I saw something on the internet, I think we could try,” Lewis suggested.

“What?”

“Just trust me, yeah?” He asked and you nodded.

He stood right behind you, his chest pressed to your back, and his arms circled your waist, both hands settling under the bump. Then he just pushed up softly, taking the weight of the baby. You moaned feeling instant relief on your back, your head falling down on Lewis’ shoulder as you breathed deep.

“It’s ok, take your time,” he murmured close to your ear, “we should do this a few times a day to ease the pain.”

Eventually you two sat down to discuss baby names, and decided on each making a list and then comparing if you had put the same names. The boy names list ended up with three names matching and the girls’ list had only one match. You came around with choices for both, but ultimately decided to leave the decision for after Peanut was born.

When your birthday came in late July, Lewis took you to another trip, for a surprise.

“Where are we?” You asked as he blindfolded you on your way out of the private jet.

“We’re in London.”

“Oh, I love London!” You whispered excitedly, getting inside a car.

“I know you do.”

It took a few minutes, but eventually, he took you out of the car and walked you a few steps. Then, he removed your blindfold, and you stared at a big house. Not any house, but the home you had designed, your family home. The one you would give him on his birthday, but he saw when you were at the low ending of your marriage.

And it was just like the project, the same materials, the same colors, the same height and size. With all the little details you had poured your heart into.

“Happy birthday, this is yours.” Lewis whispered, handing you a key set.

“Lewis? What?” You turned to him, feeling your eyes watering.

“I know that we divorced, and things are different now… But I think it’s only fair that you get to raise Peanut in the home we dreamed of,” he said and you just nodded, the tears falling down, “and I hope you save me a guest room, for when I want to spend time with Peanut and Mama, if you allow.”

It was time you admitted that you and Lewis had grown so much closer than you ever did while married. It was good and most of the time you’d say it was everything for the sake of Peanut, but you knew better. You could silently admit to yourself that Lewis was an indispensable presence in your life. You needed his steadfast support that you been getting throughout the pregnancy, you needed his company in the mornings and his laughter in the evenings, you needed the feel of his hands on you be it for comfort or for intimacy.

And you fucking loved him.

It was like you’ve never stopped, even through the pain and the divorce, like your heart had always been in the palm of his hands.

But the pregnancy was like falling in love all over again.

You turned around and pulled Lewis by the coat, pressing your lips into his. It felt so right, like you should’ve never stopped. Lewis held your neck, pressing you into him.

“Lewis…”

“We can talk about it, yeah? Take as slow or as fast as you want. I just-” he paused, pecking your lips twice like he couldn’t get enough, “-I love you, my baby. And we can do whatever you want.”

“Let’s just, let’s take it slow first, yeah? See what- see what happens.”

He nodded, kissing you once again before taking you for a tour of the house. It was just as beautiful as you had imagined. The house was already baby proofed, and it had electricity and water already running.

“You can move here whenever you feel like it.”

“Yeah, I think I will soon rather than later. But I’ll keep my place in Edinburgh too.”

When the due date came, you had already moved to the new home, and it was so much closer to your parents and Lewis’ parents to visit, so Carmen was coming to see you a couple of times a week. She usually cooked for you, leaving meal preps for the days she couldn’t come.

To keep everything on the low with the media, you and Lewis decided against a baby shower. No one knew about the divorce, nor the baby.

“Lewis, it’s time to pack your bags,” you said walking into the room.

You were honestly so fed up with being pregnant that you just wanted to give birth. Your body was uncomfortable, you couldn’t sleep right in any position, your breasts were so full that it was leaking all the time and the bump got in the way of pretty much anything.

“I don’t need to,” he said, sleepily turning off the alarm.

“Lewis, you’re going to miss the flight!”

It was race week, which meant he would leave and only come back Monday. Hopefully, Peanut will be born next week. You were already a little over 39 weeks so you’d give birth pretty much any minute now.

“I’m not racing this week,” he said simply.

“You what?! You can’t do that! You need the points!” You exclaimed, pacing around.

“Love, Peanut will come any moment now, I won’t be away and risk missing this.” Lewis stood up, holding your shoulders and standing behind you. He held your bump and lifted it just like he had been doing, which helped you feel immense relief.

“Lewis, I can’t believe this! You’re literally competing for the championship! You can’t afford to lose any points.”

“I won’t be able to get in the car and drive knowing you’re here mostly alone or maybe that you’re going through labor alone. This is not up for discussion, I have spoken to Toto and everything is already set.”

You wanted to cry. You had not told him about how you were worried he might miss the birth, but he must’ve picked up somehow. You two had been in an entirely new level of connection, Lewis attuned to your wants and needs without you needing to express.

You turned around, kissing him. He held you close, reciprocating as his hands explored your body. And with just a little make out you were lit up and horny again.

“Can we make love?” You asked him, between kisses.

“Are you sure?” He mumbled, nipping at your bottom lip.

“Please, I miss your cock,” you whined, pulling his shirt.

That did it for him. He undressed, and you eyed your wedding band on his necklace. You pulled your dress up and Lewis groaned as he saw you were wearing only a support bra underneath, no panties.

“We need to see what positions is more comfortable though, I-”

“Spooning, missionary or cowgirl” he kissed you again, taking your hand and leading you to the bed.

“How do you know?”

“I read a book.”

“A book about sex?” You giggled.

“A book about pregnancy sex.” He corrected which made you laugh even harder.

“Ok then, get in the bed. On your back,” you bossed him and he obeyed.

You didn’t take too much time to straddle him, his cock between your pussy lips as you ground up and down on him, leaning down to kiss him. You were dripping wet, finding comfort on the way his abdomen held most of the weight of the bump. You looked down to him, his lips were open and he helped you up until you had him lined up and into your cunt. Both of you moaned out loud. The first time for both since your goodbye before the divorce.

Lewis sat up and pawed at your boobs and you moaned with sensitivity. He tried to remove your bra, but you stopped him.

“It’s going to leak everywhere, Lewis.” You shook your head.

“What kind of husband do you take me for?” He asked as if you were being silly. He unclasped your bra and as soon as you were free, ready to complain, he mouthed your nipple, sucking hard. The relief of the milk coming out was so great it had you groaning.

“Oh, Jesus! Fuck, fuck, fuck-” you moaned out loud with the relief his sucking caused, so much that your cunt clenched with the pleasure, “that’s so good baby, fuck- you’re so good!”

You started moving your hips, the experience so otherworldly that you could only ride him, letting him suck at your tits as your mind exploded with mind blowing sex. You shook so hard through the orgasm that Lewis had to stop and hold you firmly, only moving his hips under you to cum hard to the feel of your cunt milking him.

He stared at you like you were the most beautiful woman on earth, with so much love and devotion that you couldn’t help but bash in it.

You fucked any given chance for the next few days, making up for lost time. Lewis’ favorite position was spooning while he fucked you from behind, holding your body flush against him, kissing your neck and shoulder.

Saturday evening, you started feeling pain, sometimes every few hours. Lewis wanted to go to the hospital immediately but you, having talked with your doctor, knew it was too soon, and you’d only wait for hours in a hospital room.

You slept on and off the entire night, the jolts of pain waking you up every couple of hours. In the morning, you and Lewis had breakfast and decided to watch the race to see how Mick was going to do. You didn’t make it past ten laps, when the water broke when you got up for snacks.

“Oh my god! Ok, now we’re going to the hospital, yeah?” He asked and you nodded, taking your phone to let your doctor know you were going to the hospital.

Lewis was a mess, running up and down the stairs to grab your hospital bag, then he forgot the car keys and went back up again.

“Ok, stay calm, we’re fine,” he said, helping you up.

“I’m calm, Lewis.”

“Yeah, I’m talking to myself.”

You laughed as you two got in the car and to the hospital. You still felt these jolts of pain, each contraction getting closer and closer from the one before. You were put in a bed to wait for the right moment for the baby to crown. Lewis never left your side, even to call his family and your parents to let them know, he stood by you.

When it was a little while before the time to labor, you couldn’t handle the pain anymore, opting for an epidural on the spot which made the pain bearable. Then finally came the time to push, and Lewis stayed there, holding your hand and whispering words of comfort when necessary, and words of strength when needed.

“You are doing great, love. Come on, on three you push with all you can yeah? Promise I’ll stay right here! Come on, no- no-” he held your face softly, “I know you’re tired but you can’t rest yet! Stay here, and we’re going to see Peanut soon! Come on, when the doctor calls three, you push!”

Your memory would be hazy but you’d never forget Lewis’ patience and strength dealing with you. His voice guiding you through every single hour, his eyes that were so kind and his hands on you.

“I can’t Lewis!” You cried, but he held your face, looking deep into your eyes.

“You can! You can because you’re the strongest person here! I love you so much. You can, I’m right here with you. One more push, Peanut is almost out.”

Then, there was the loud cry of the baby in the doctor's hands. Gasping, Lewis stared at the baby while the doctor cut the umbilical cord. You looked at Lewis, who was bawling, face sweaty but the complete adoration in his eyes said more than any words could ever.

“This is your baby girl, Mom and Dad!” The doctor handed you the baby curled on a blanket.

“Oh my god. Love, this is Luna, right?” Lewis leaned down, whispering and watching his baby’s face.

“Luna…” You whispered, looking at her perfect little face.

“Our Luna…” Lewis whispered.

-

You were making tea in the kitchen when you heard Luna starting to cry, progressively louder. You could hear Lewis trying to calm her down, and when you came back to the living room, he was softly nursing Luna, and she was still whining.

“Everything ok, Dada?” You asked him, saving him a mug with tea.

Chuckling, he held Luna against his naked chest, and she was getting calmer and calmer. You sat on the couch, watching them. But then Lewis started mumbling a song, softly like a lullaby, and after a few seconds he sang a bit louder so you could make up the lyrics.

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life, I love you more

Funnily enough, Luna started to drift to sleep again, curled on her Dad’s chest. He put her on the little carrier, covering with the blanket then sat beside you, pulling you into his chest.

“Can you believe that? We made the most amazing bundle of love!” He said, kissing the top of your head, “Thank you so much for taking a chance on me, for letting me be part of this. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, honey.”

“I told you we were gonna make it.”

You felt like your heart was going to burst with so much love, for Lewis, for Luna and grateful for the second chance you took on this life and these dreams. You knew there was still a lot of work to put in, not only in raising your daughter but also in rebuilding your life with Lewis, but you were sure you'd have the rest of your lives to work on it.

#f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 #formula 1 #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton +18 #f1 smut #smut #Spotify

[twinsarekeepers]

“This isn’t the Arch, seaweed brain. You’re not pushing me into the stairwell again.”

First of all, LINE DELIVERY?? Leah Sava Jeffries is an ACTRESS because ‘seaweed brain’ is actually so corny and it would simply feel like fan-service if they included it earlier or in another context but this was so natural and I was so swept up by all the other amazing things happening that I was excited about it but also keyed into the rest of the scene.

But the way this perfectly displays her fatal flaw. She will not let this boy trick her again (spoiler: he does). She was caught off guard at the Arch because she wasn’t familiar with his game but now she’s ready. She WILL die for him and that is final.

“Yes, I am.”

This was CRAZY?? Percy Jackson #1 mentally unstable man because how is he determined to win every ‘sacrifice myself’ off with her? And he says it to her face too. He does not care for the games anymore, he’s fully telling her that he needs her to live.

“I’m not going to let you this time. It doesn’t work that way!”

This made me so incredibly sad. Annabeth is still thinking in transactions. She’s thinking about how he made a sacrifice in the Arch so it’s her turn now. This is how relationships work. This is how every relationship she’s had works. She literally can’t comprehend how he doesn’t see it that way. How he could be selfless enough to sacrifice himself for her TWICE. How he could care about her enough to believe she deserves it even after she was the reason they were in the Arch in the first place (my baby my baby say it with me now you’re my baby).

“It’s why you’re here!”

“Excuse me?”

This was so soft like I just *screaming crying gif*. The last time she said ‘excuse me’ to him she was pissed off about him bringing up Athena but now she’s just confused and sad. Like, she trying to figure out what he means by this. Does he think she’s so heartless and robotic that she’d just let him die for her own gain?

I also love how they don’t have her say ‘what?’ because it just adds this extra layer of how Annabeth has trained herself to be more mature in everything she does, even her language, because she believes that if she’s not perfect, she’s not worthy of love and affection and maybe even existing (literally sobbing wtf).

“When I was choosing my team, I told Chiron I needed someone who wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice me if the quest required it. He agreed. That was you.”

I was confused at first about this because I thought Annabeth knew Percy thought this about her until I went back and watched the choosing ceremony again. He’s definitely keeping his voice lower as he speaks to Chiron and both Chiron and him are raising their voice as they address the other campers so makes sense that she wouldn’t have heard him.

But also, this just adds so much to literally everything. Because, in the beginning, Percy didn’t think him and Annabeth would become friends. He genuinely did think that she would sacrifice him if she had to and he thought he’d be able to curb it. He thought he’d be able to fight Annabeth if it came to it because she might choose the quest over his mom and he couldn’t allow that.

But now here he is, after getting to know her, and seeing her vulnerability and bravery and strength and courage and wisdom and passion and everything that makes her so beautiful and wonderful and amazing and his friend. She’s his friend and she’d never betray him. She’d never sacrifice him. She’d rather sacrifice herself before she ever did anything to harm him.

And he’s apologizing to her. Listen to the way Walker says the last line (again, THE ACTING). It’s literally a confession because he feels so bad that he ever believed that about her. And now he’s making her do it. He’s making her do this thing that he once thought she’d have done without hesitation. He’s thinking about the Fates cutting that string and he’s thinking about his own words to Chiron and how Chiron agreed and he’s thinking about how Annabeth said that prophecies aren’t always clear and he fully believes that he’s figured it out. This is fate. Annabeth would sacrifice him and complete the prophecy. She’ll be the friend that betrays him but not because she wanted to and he will fail to save what matters most, his own life.

This entire exchange was very insane. It’s my Roman Empire. I can’t stop thinking about it because it shows their motivations and their viewpoints and their internal struggles so so so well like I can’t even … I’m having a malfunction.

#me when i cornplate #but actually no #because these are the black sails writers #like this is not a reach AT ALL and that’s what’s crazy #they probably thought about all this and more because they’re more insane then me! #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #pjotv #pjo tv show #pjo tv series #pjo disney+ #pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo spoilers #pjo tv spoilers #pjo ep 5 #a god buys us cheeseburgers #walker scobell #leah sava jeffries

[lxkeee]

MY LOVE, IS MINE ALL MINE PART THREE

pairing: Lucifer x fem! reader

fandom: hazbin hotel

genre: fanfiction

notes: Imaoo sorry it took awhileee I'm actually a very busy college student while simultaneously having so much brainrot for this man so... Be patient omfg, I just posted part one a two days ago also, don't mind the warnings too much as it doesn't specifically for this specific chapter but it can be future parts of the story. So yes, hand holding before marriage will happen between Lucifer and [y/n]

warnings: none except hand holding before marriage Imao.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART FOUR

Lucifer paced back and forth in his room, worried. Walking around the large master's bedroom, passing by many piles of rubber ducks he made.

“She should be back by now.” Lucifer murmured to himself, sighing.

His eyes landed on to the framed pictures decorating his walls.

He prayed that Charlie met [y/n] up there, the one angel he trusts. Though, it has been eons since he's last seen her, he wonders if [y/n] changed after all these years, especially after he had fallen from grace.

Did she hate him? Did she miss him like how he misses her?

As he sat on his arm chair, a gold sealed white envelope manifested on top of the coffee table in front of him, pink glittery smoke surrounding the letter.

“...What the...?” Lucifer murmurs, hesitant and cautious, eyeing the envelope. What if it's a trap?

Suddenly his phone buzzed, he immediately checked it to see it was a text message from Charlie.

“I just left a letter on your table, it's from someone you know. I'll tell you everything that happened in heaven but I'll rest for a bit. Love you dad!”

Lucifer smiled though a tad bit worried, he can tell that the meeting didn't go as his daughter hoped. He can only give her time.

Lucifer then now turned his eyes back on the neat envelope, sparkling a little. He turned the letter around to see it was specifically addressed to him, written in an oh so familiar handwriting to him. Unknowingly, just by seeing the handwriting was enough for his eyes to tear up a little.

“[y/n]....” He murmurs, finally opening the letter. Using his sharp nails to scrape off the wax without breaking it or tearing the envelope. Taking out the carefully folded light yellow paper, unfolding it to reveal her letter to him.

My Dearest Lucifer

His cheeks flushed slightly, with a comma after dearest. My Dearest, Lucifer

“Oh [y/n], this will keep me up at night.” Lucifer murmurs with a small dorky smile on his face, his sharp teeth shining against the light, eyes watering.

My Dearest, Lucifer

       It has been awhile hasn't it? A couple of eons since we've last seen each other. You have no idea how excited I was when I heard your daughter would be coming here in hell. I made sure to write a letter in advance a day before her arrival. I have a lot to tell you, first and foremost, I truly missed you. You sly man, you really got married without inviting me. How's your time down there? I hope hell is treating you right, I really hope I'll get a chance to see you again. I hope we'll get a proper chance to talk, I want to personally hear you how you've been doing. I hope you'll get the chance to see the good of humans after giving them free will, I promise to find a way for you to leave and visit earth. I am running out of paper to right on but I promise to help your daughter up here and lastly, I want you to remember that I adore you always.

“Sincerely yours, [y/n] [l/n]” Lucifer softly reads out, voice shaking. It felt like he could hear her as he read the letter. The same kind [y/n] who always believed in him. His heart swells knowing that she's still trying to help in any way she can despite their distance. She never stopped believing in him despite him leaving without notice (not that he had the chance to).

“If only you knew how much I adore you too, [y/n]...” Lucifer murmurs softly, his finger tracing the outline of the paper ever so gently.

“I want to see you again, I have so many things to say to you... So many unsaid words I wanted to say... I wanted to tell you that I love...” Lucifer's eyes widened ever so slightly, cheeks turning red. He knows he loves her and he still does but he also loves his ex-wife, Lilith. Does he? Or is he just holding into something that no longer exists as it was something he had for a long time and now it's gone?

Everything in his life changed, Lilith's love for him changed, he changed.

Despite all of this, [y/n] remained unchanging inside his heart. Sure, Lilith held the majority of his heart but now? He is not sure but he is 100% sure [y/n] never left, he still has affections for the angel.

How can he not? She's the only one who believed in him when he was up in heaven? She comforted him whenever the elders said hurtful things to his ideas.

But now...

Her letter gave him a sense of hope that his decision of giving mankind free will might not be useless after all.

Lucifer closes the letter, gently folding it back on how it was folded before he opened it. Bringing the piece of paper to his nose, smelling the faint scent of her perfume. It brought back memories of his time with her in heaven.

“I'll ask Charlie about what happened up there later but for now, I'll take a moment to process this.” He says with a small sigh. Slipping the folded paper back into the envelope.

Lucifer sighs as he gently places the envelope back on his table, walking to his balcony. Eyes staring up into the smoky red skies of hell, devoid of any moon and stars.

He used to stargaze with her when he was still in heaven.

[y/n] was his moon, who shines during his darkest days.

Waving his finger in the air, specks of golden dust flickers out of his fingers. Forming a crescent moon.

Lucifer leans into the railings, eyes staring at the faux moon he created.

“Moon, tell me if I could...” Lucifer softly sang, eyes tired but hopeful. “Send up my heart to you...?” he asked softly, unfortunately no one answered.

A bit of a timeskip....

It has been a few months since Charlie's visit here in heaven and the next extermination is getting closer by the day. Emily and I are still trying to look for ways to help Charlie.

Sera adores Emily, I am sure that she wouldn't get punished. I on the other hand, Sera has been keeping a close eye on me. Criticizing me. Lute being tasked to watch my every move.

“Sera, this is utterly ridiculous! We should give those poor souls a second chance.” [Y/n] says, clenching her fists as she looked at Sera who was sitting on her chair inside the Seraphim office.

“That is enough, [y/n]. You keep this up and you'll end up fallen like Lucifer.” Sera said sternly, eyes glaring at the [y/n]. “You barely managed to escape that fate before, you could've fallen the same time as Lucifer but thankfully your actions weren't as severe as his.”

[y/n] slammed her fists against the table, angel eyes appearing on her wings with fury, “We aren't God, Sera! Who gave you the right to judge those sinners and claim they don't deserve a second chance?” she exclaimed.

Sera stood up from her seat, anger evident on her face. “Don't you dare raise your voice at me! You're on thin ice, [y/n]!”

[y/n] rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over chest, “What are you going to do? Huh? Kick me out of heaven?”

Sera's glare sharpened, patience running thin. “Keep that attitude up and you just might.”

“Lucifer doesn't deserve this treatment! You cursed him to not see the good of people! You cursed the people who have a chance to redeem themselves by taking their life! How does it feel that so much blood is spilled because of your decision?!” [y/n] asked angrily, tears running down her cheeks.

“We have our own souls to protect! This decision wasn't easy to make!” Sera remarked angrily, her wings spread out intimidatingly.

“Protect them from what?! As far as I know, it's only us angels who are a threat to them? If they do something that doesn't fit your standards or the elder's standards they are bound to fall from grace!” [y/n] says mockingly, rage and annoyance evident on both women's eyes.

“That's it, you've crossed the line!”

“You don't want to admit that I am right, angels are such selfish, greedy, and filthy creatures. I cannot believe I am associated with beings whose hands are stained with blood.”

You know, falling doesn't seem so bad.

Strong and harsh winds are blowing against my back, thankfully I still have my wings. It is currently useless, unfortunately. I don't have the energy to flap them to save myself from the approaching pain.

After that argument with Sera, the higher seraphim thought I was already way out of line and disrespectful. I was placed on trial, handcuffed with the type of handcuffs that prevents me from using my angelic powers while it simultaneously sucked the energy out of me.

I was deemed guilty, shameful, and ungrateful and a threat to the order of heaven.

Tossed out of the pearly gates of heaven by none other than Adam, that asshole really grabbed me by the hair.

[y/n] sighs softly, vision blurring. Trying to focus it as she falls from grace. The skies looked so beautiful.

Lucifer would've loved these skies, we've stargazed during the night before. When he was still in heaven with me.

Lucifer, I can see Ursa Major tonight. Someday, I'll bring you back here on the surface and stargaze like we've always do. No matter how many stars are in the sky, you always take my attention. You're like my star, you shine so bright and so pure.

I'll join you in the pits of hell, I hope you didn't forget about me.

I should be happy that I'm finally leaving that god awful place.

Why am I so scared of falling to my demise?

For a moment, I can see a glimpse of how Lucifer felt when he fell from grace.

Terrifying.

[Y/n] closes her eyes as she finally goes past the Earth's crust. Ichor flowing out of her hands from the handcuffs she had to wear.

“I am not allowed to die, I still need to see him.” [y/n] murmurs before eventually crashing into the fiery grounds of hell, she fortunately crashed somewhere where there weren't any people, a wide space of nothing but dead trees, a hotel can be seen in the distance.

Pain, pain shot everywhere her body. She let out a sharp scream of pure pain. Blood spilled everywhere before she eventually passed out.

It didn't matter, the pain didn't matter. She's here now. She'll look for him or Charlie.

She doesn't know Charlie would find her first.

END NOTES: YUHHH THEY'LL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN IN THE NEXT UPDATEE

TAGLIST:

@n1chxyaaenthusiast @cherry-4200 @luleck @adaizel @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @thedarkkitten @selvyyr @froggybich @brithedemonspawn @kottenox @totallymitya (I can't tag you </3) @many-fandoms-lover

#lxkeee hazbin hotel masterlist #hazbin hotel #lucifer #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer magne #hazbin hotel x reader #lxkeee updates #lucifer morningstar #“MLIMAM” — LUCIFER X READER

[diddybok]

asking best friend!stray kids what you are pt.2

all characters depicted in my writing are from my own imagination and do NOT in any way represent nor reflect the people in real life :)

➩pairing: ot8 x gn!reader

➩genre(s): angst, some fluff

➩warnings: strong language, mentions of sex, some of the boys are still mean, some unhappy endings

➩wc: 9.4k (9433)

➩author’s note: i am so serious if anybody talks to you in a way to undermine, condescend or just simply belittle you and make you feel stupid, pls pls pls cut that person out of your life. even if they’re doing it as a ‘joke’. it never ends well. ily all and you deserve the best of the best, always <3

➩parts: part one

chris | 1.2k (1201) words

After the fourth ring, you swipe the little phone symbol across your screen and the time starts. You watch it go from one second, to the next, and the next, before a deep elongated sigh pulls you out of your trance. 

You put him on speaker, afraid of the way you’d react if you were to hear him so close to you in your ear. You can’t handle that right now. 

“Y/n?” His slightly distorted voice says. You don’t reply, placing the phone down in front of you as you sit and fiddle with the rings on your fingers. 

“Come on sweetheart, say something please. What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” Chris asks softly. Akin to a parent who would try and get their child to confess to stealing cookies out of the cookie jar. 

You run your hands down your face. You’re annoyed with him, most definitely. But you can’t deny the butterflies that start to flutter in your stomach when he addresses you like that. 

It’s not fair. 

The line is painfully silent for another two minutes. Chris patiently, or rather stubbornly, waiting for you to speak. 

“This…this is harder than I thought it’d be.” You say, your voice croaking slightly as this is the first time you have spoken in a while. 

“Okay. Try not to think too much about it. Just speak your truth, unload it all.” Chris encourages. 

You take a deep breath and run your hands up and down your thighs to stop them from clamming up. 

“You hurt my feelings. You are continuing to hurt my feelings. I feel as if I’m the only one who is missing out on an inside joke that everybody seems to know but me.” You halt, waiting to see if he would have a rebuttal. Except he doesn’t and his silence spurs you on to continue. 

“I thought we were practically dating. I thought that night would be the night that you would ask to be together as a couple. You know, exclusive?” You chuckle bitterly. “So imagine my surprise when you decide to ignore me for a week. Do you know how shitty that felt?” You ask him. 

You can just about hear his breaths. They’re soft and collected. Yet the more you wait for his response that he doesn’t seem to be giving, you are becoming the opposite of that. 

“I asked you a question.” You say curtly. 

“I can see how that would make you feel shitty, yes. For that I am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I felt like I fucked everything up for us.” You think he sounded genuine enough when he said that, so you elect yourself to be quiet so he can continue. 

“I should’ve stopped it. Doing it knowing I wasn’t ready for it to happen—like that anyway—was not fair on you. I wouldn’t say that it has complicated things per say, but it has led me to think about a few things.” Chris finishes. 

You sit there, the flaps of the butterfly wings now causing the bile to travel upwards and out. You reach over and grab your water bottle from your bedside table and chug as much as you can. 

“Think about things like what?” You will yourself to say, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand at the water that managed to escape and drip down your chin. 

He doesn’t reply which does not settle your nerves. Especially not after that last sentence he said. Silence is not your friend at this moment. 

“Chris—”

“I think that we should be together.” He practically vomits out. 

Your eyes widen and your eyebrows shoot up to the top of your skull. 

“What!”

“Y/n?”

You both speak at the same time. 

“Oh sorry you go ahead.”

“Sorry, you first.”

You hear a small chuckle over the line as you speak over each other again. He stays silent this time, letting you talk. 

“Are you serious? Like you really mean that? You aren’t playing me for a fool right?” You ask quickly. 

“Yes. Yes. No,” You release a silent scream. “I really do want us. I have always wanted us, but this—you—made me realise that we should’ve made it official a while ago. There were only so many more excuses I could pull out of the bag to mask me taking you out on dates as just ‘best friends hanging out doing questionable things’.” 

Of course, you knew this as you are smart. The excuse he gave when he took you to a rooftop restaurant with candlelights everywhere was certainly not ‘for practice when I get a partner’. Him having your favourite meal prepared and the playlist the two of you made playing in the background? Dead giveaway. 

“Plus it is also totally unrealistic that you as my best friend would splash that much cash on me unless it was because you lost a bet. So I had a feeling I knew something was up. Which I guess is why I got a bit too excited and jumped to the conclusion that we were already a couple.” You say scratching the back of your neck. 

“Not true! I would always buy you things.” Chris corrects. 

“Yeah but you’d always complain whilst doing so. So when you stopped complaining, something had clearly shifted.” You clarify. 

You can envision the eye roll he does paired with the sigh he releases making you laugh. 

There’s another silence that fills the space, albeit this time it is comfortable. Until he sneezes down the line and you catch yourself smiling warmly as you bless him. 

“What happens now? Do we get a level up on our relationship or something? Or do I magically spawn in your arms and you cuddle me until I fall asleep? I’m thinking that sounds like the correct thing to happen next.” He teases. 

“Of course that’s what you think.” 

“Hey, I don’t make the rules, I just work here.” He says in a seductive drawl. 

“You’re still very much in the dog house. Honestly, I feel it’s only fair for me to leave you waiting a week to even see me.” You speak without a hint of sarcasm. 

It goes quiet over the phone again. You look down at your rings, twisting them around your finger gently. 

“Okay…I guess that’s fair.” He finally responds. 

You release a breath you weren't aware you were holding, nodding to yourself in agreement. 

“You’re one hundred percent certain you want this? Want to be together past just best friends?” You clarify. 

“What do you not trust me already? Y/n I want to be with you. I have wanted to be with you. Our communication just wasn’t great. But we will work on it together. Okay?” Chris speaks gently down the phone. 

“Okay.” You say softly. 

Though it will take a day or two for you to get over the fact he didn’t message you for a week, you feel as though a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. 

Whatever the next step of your relationship with Chris is, you’re just relieved that you get to do it together with no more misunderstandings. 

minho | 1.0k (1032) words

You and Minho decided that it would be best for you to discuss your relationship over lunch. He even offered to pay which you certainly were not going to turn down. 

You have been hyping yourself up in front of the mirror for about twenty minutes since Minho said he was en route. If Minho texting you earlier was any indication of how this conversation will go, then you are sure you aren’t silly for practising breathing techniques and how to not make a fool of yourself on a whole. 

You’re getting your jacket when you hear his knock at the door. You know it’s him because he only ever knocks in a pattern. 

Opening the door, you’re glad to see him greet you with a smile on your face. Though that’s how it has always been in your relationship. Even when you fight, you always know to resolve the issue with a smile and to never yell at each other. 

Even though you could tell he was anxious, he was masking it well. Throughout the drive, playing your favourite songs. Even now in the café ordering you your favourite meal when he caught you scanning the menu acting like you didn’t know what you wanted already. 

Safe to say, the both of you calm each other down, which makes this conversation much easier to have. 

“So, let's address the elephant in the room.” You start, taking a sip of your milkshake. 

“I first want to say that whatever we choose to do from this point on, you are not allowed to leave me. Well, you can’t anyways because I am always going to be in your life.” He says with an unwavering smile on his face. 

You hold back your smile and nod, letting him carry on. 

“No I do mean it. I just think that we’d be better off just being…us. You know what I mean?” He says using his hands to emphasise.  

“Mmm, let’s dig a little deeper. I just don’t want there to be any misunderstandings between us. Obviously what we shared was nice and I don’t think that we should regret it, right?” You say with a tilt of your head. 

“I agree. I had a think about it whilst I drove to your house to pick you up and I don’t think it was fair of me to question what we did. In terms of making you think that I felt that it wasn’t right of us to do.” Minho explains. He looks around before leaning in slightly. “Especially since that was the best sex I have had in months.” He throws a wink your way and you have to stop yourself from taking a bow. 

Him saying that feels as though numerous weights have been lifted off of your shoulders. You were most anxious about whether he either hated it or thought it was a mistake. So you’re now glad to hear that neither of it was the case. 

The waiter comes over with your food and you thank them. You’re about to pick up your fork and take a bite of food to fuel your courage but you’re abruptly tutted at. 

“Just because we are in the midst of an important conversation does not mean we skip tradition.” Minho says, raising his eyebrow at you. 

You place the fork down and put up a peace sign as you pose. He takes out his camera and snaps a photo of you with both his and your meal in the frame. He then puts his middle finger up and poses with an over exaggerated bored expression. You chuckle to yourself before taking the photo. 

“You said that we moved too fast assuming that we were moving in the first place. Do you still think that now?” You say before taking a bite of your meal. 

He finishes his mouthful as he furrows his eyebrows and thinks about your question. 

“Well I mean, I’d be an idiot to say that I didn’t think that it wouldn’t be going anywhere. But for us right now, I don’t think we should be moving at all.” He speaks. 

The food you are swallowing seems to get a little stuck as you start to quietly choke. All the while Minho grows increasingly embarrassed at your lack of ability to stay alive. 

“Okay calm, people are starting to look over.” He says to you, pouring you a glass of water from the jug on the table. 

You take a few gulps and tap your chest.

“Damn. You shouldn’t say things like that when I’m mid chew.” You scold. 

“My apologies, from now on I shall wait until the food has made its descent to the pit of acid in your stomach.” He lightly chuckles. 

“So what I’m hearing is that all things considered romantically, we should stop. So we just continue on as friends?” You clarify. 

He nods. 

“Hit the nail on the head.”

“Right…I mean I guess that works. After all, we were friends before we got curious so I’m pretty sure we can just laugh about it and carry on.” You smile albeit quite painfully. 

“Yes of course! We were just curious…” Minho adds, a painful smile also etched onto his features. 

Can you just laugh about it and carry on? Even when it felt so natural? So…right?

There’s a silence pregnant with awkwardness as you and Minho avoid each other’s gazes and continue to eat. 

Akin to a supporting artist having a cue to interact with the leads of a movie, the waiter comes over to ask if everything was alright with the food. 

You both bombard him with praise and he seems a little taken aback and hurries away to the next table. 

You don’t lie to Minho often, much like he doesn’t lie to you. However, in this café it seems the two of you are egregious liars. Which explains the way you both see right through each other. 

You know that it’s only a matter of time until something happens again because unfortunately you have crossed the line. Let’s just hope you can go at least a month before you’re entangled in each other's arms again. 

changbin | 1.1k (1120) words

One, two, three knocks on your door. You approach it slowly, looking through the peephole to see Changbin standing in his big puffer jacket and gloves. 

You consider letting him stay in the cold a little longer, but the goodness in your heart wills your hand to open the door. 

“Come in quickly, it’s cold.” You order. 

He doesn’t dally with his movements, coming inside quickly as you shut the door behind him. It’s quiet as he takes off his shoes and coat, giving you a mildly awkward smile that was still dulcet. 

“I was just making breakfast, would you like some?” You offer, walking into the kitchen. 

“Oh, yes please that’d be nice thank you.” He says, following after you. 

The atmosphere feels a little strange and you aren’t used to it. Changbin hasn’t yelled at all since stepping foot inside and usually you would’ve threatened the duct tape on his mouth by now. 

You engage in some aimless chit chat with him whilst you cook. You figured you would ease into this conversation rather than just immediately diving head first. 

“I like what you’ve done with the place.” Changbin admires as he looks around your kitchen. 

You turn to him, bewildered. 

“I haven’t changed my kitchen since I moved in here, bin.” You establish. 

“Really? Oh. I thought there was something different about this place in the week and a bit that I have been gone.” He says with genuinity. 

“Why would I have changed my kitchen around in the week that you’ve been gone?” You ask. 

He shrugs, stealing a blueberry from the bowl when your back is turned from him. 

“I don’t know. Some people dye or cut their hair when they’re upset. I figured since you like your hair too much, you would’ve changed the next best thing.” He solidifies, feeling much too content with the way his brian works. 

You on the other hand aren’t sure whether you’re being tested or if this is truly how he is choosing to behave.

You plate up the food and as you’re about to slide his plate over to him, you pull it back. 

“For every question answered, you get a mouthful of food.” At this, Changbin gawks. 

“This seems illegal in some form or another.” He sulks. 

You open up your phone to your conversation with him. 

“So it says here that you didn’t want to mess up our friendship, but emotions were running high and we weren’t thinking about the consequences. What consequences would that be?” You state. 

He looks at you quizzically. 

“Why do I feel like I’m in court right now? You’re reading the text messages out like evidence and I’m scared.” He says laughing awkwardly. 

“You answer the question. You get to eat.” You redirect. He clears his throat before he begins. 

“Well the consequences would be, erm, how us sleeping together will create ripples in our friendship whether we like it or not. I mean I’m not saying I regret it fully…but maybe a tiny bit?” He says fiddling with his hands. 

He opens his mouth wide as he awaits your end of the deal. You pick up the fork and scoop up some food before you feed it to him. 

For people who aren’t a couple, you sure do act like it. 

“Why is that?” You press further. 

“Because I didn’t want something like this to happen. By that I mean, if we were going to go all the way, then we should have established what we were prior. Even though our friends may think we are a couple, it wasn’t exclusively spoken about between us.” A beat. “But now I think that by letting ourselves get carried away, we missed the opportunity to settle things out with both of us clear on where we stand in our relationship.” He finishes. 

You decide to give him two mouthfuls for that answer to which he hums happily in response. 

You cannot doubt that what he said makes sense. You should have spoken about what you guys were before engaging in something as intimate as sleeping with each other. 

Yet for two people who have already gone to second base countless times before and couldn’t control the libido this time, you also understand where things got messy. 

“I think I get where you’re coming from now.” You say, eating your own mouthful. 

Changbin nods in acknowledgment before stealing a handful of blueberries. 

“But you also said that you still wanna be my best friend. Is that still true? Do you think we can get past this?” You ask apprehensively. 

Changbin’s eyebrows furrow in disbelief. 

“Of course! To both of your questions. Look at us, we’ve lasted this long. Yeah so I’ve been inside you, that’s fine! At least we had a good time, right? We can say that we’ve done it and gotten it out of our system.” He exclaims. 

You pull a face at the last sentence and he is immediately scrambling to reword what he means. 

“No, I don't see it as a throwaway act! I meant that because we had been stopping at second base because we were too scared to take it all the way, we finally reached the goal.” He stammers. 

You raise an eyebrow and cross your arms. 

“No I don’t mean that sleeping with you was the goal, if anything it was off the pitch.” He tries to explain. 

A single tilt of your head was all that was needed in order for him to slam his head into his hands and mutter a ‘I give up’. 

You shake your head and slide the plate over to him as you move across the island to sit on the stall next to him. You place an arm around his shoulder as he sighs. 

“I don’t want to lose you as my best friend too, bin. Let’s just take it one day at a time, yeah? What happened, happened. Now we both know where we stand about our friendship, it’s okay.”

He lifts his head from his palms and looks over you with his big black eyes. 

“You mean that? Like actually? We’re good?” He asks. You laugh slightly. 

“Yes bin, we’re good.” You reassured him. 

“Oh thank God. Does that mean I can still call you my sweet—”

“One day at a time.” You say sternly. 

The both of you smile as you finish the rest of your breakfast. There’s a twinge of hurt that you feel for you and Changbin not going forward as a couple, but you would rather this than to lose him forever. 

So for now, you’ll cherish what an amazing friendship the two of you have and will continue to have. 

hyunjin | 1.1k (1113) words

“Y/n open the fucking door.” You mimic Hyunjin’s last text message to you aloud as you walk down the stairs. 

You were by no means rushing to get to the door, if anything, you think that standing right by it for a good two minutes or so to really irritate him would make you feel much better than you currently do. 

Hyunjin continuously banging on the door pulls you out of your stubborn demeanour. If not for your neighbours, you’d have let him continue to bang against the door until his knuckles bruised. 

Yet it seems your night couldn’t get any worse considering you’ve just taken a fist to the face. Perhaps that was your fault for catching him off guard when he was vigorously knocking as he appeared to have ‘knocked’ your face instead of the door. 

“Oh fuck! Y/n!” Hyunjin yells as he cradles your face in his hands. You appreciate the gesture, you do, he was still your best friend after all. But if this wasn’t the cherry on top of the cake then you don’t know what is. 

“Yep, good to see you too hyune.” You groan. 

You scrunch your face as your hand moves to soothe your forehead. Shrugging out of his hold, you step inside of your home, trusting that he would follow suit and shut the door behind him. 

“Y/n darling I am so sorry. I promise I didn’t mean to knock against…your forehead.” He speaks with utmost genuinity as he shadows behind you. 

You don’t say anything as you just grab yourself some frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel before moving to your living room to make yourself comfortable on the sofa as you wait for him to explain everything. 

You’re thankful that he seems to be getting the hints tonight. He takes his place beside you, worry etched onto his beautiful face. 

Damn his prince-like features…

“Explain yourself then, since texting wasn’t working for you.” You spit. He bites his lip nervously and fidgets with his hands before his eyes look from the bag of peas until falling onto your own. 

“When…when I said I didn’t want you as my best friend, I meant because we can’t just go back to being best friends after that. It would just kill me knowing that you aren’t mine even after the night we shared.”  He starts. 

You sit still and listen, switching hands since the frozen peas were adding to the chill you already had from the conversation that loomed over your head. 

“I don’t want you as my best friend because I want you to be mine. I want to be yours. I want us.  Together.”

You wince. There’s a small part of you that just doesn’t believe him. You place down the now damp tea towel that holds the slowly melting peas. 

He looks at you, trying to read your reaction, but you were giving nothing away. 

“I just wanna know what was going through your head all those nights we spent together. We may not have had sex, but we did everything else. The cuddles, the kisses—when you familiarise yourself with every inch of my body—it would make sense that I thought we were something more than just best friends.”

He breaks eye contact, his interest now on the rings he adorns on his fingers. You can tell he is trying to think of something to say, so you wait patiently. 

“I understand if you feel like I may have been using you.” He acquiesces in meeting your gaze, but he persists. “It hadn’t really occurred to me that you may have thought of us as more than best friends. Granted, instead of sitting in my uncertainty I should have just asked you. Then that night happened and it hit me. Afterwards, I just knew that I shouldn’t have let it get that far.”

You feel nauseous. You can’t decipher exactly what that was supposed to mean. You look over at the now wet kitchen towel. 

“So you do regret it?” You pressed, your voice soft. 

He holds his hands out and shakes his head as he quickly refutes his words. 

“No of course not! I just meant that I know I should have asked you about us before that happened. I didn’t want it to be the case that you felt that I was not serious about us. ‘Cause having sex with someone is serious and I never wanted you to think I was playing around with your feelings.” He finishes. 

You sit there thinking about what he said. Maybe he was being sincere. Maybe he really does want what you thought the two of you had for the past couple of months. 

“How can I know that you aren’t just saying this? That you feel somewhat obligated to make us a thing because of the fact we slept with each other?” You ask. 

“Because I was too much of a coward to say this earlier.” He speaks without missing a beat. 

He scoots closer to you on the sofa, his hands providing warmth in yours. You don’t mean to dither, but you can’t help but weigh all the options. Hyunjin tilts his head to try and meet your eyes.

“I know you’re thinking about all of the things that could go wrong. About all of the things that could go right. What I could be for you in a day, a week, a month or even a year.” He cups your cheek, his thumb gently stroking beneath your eye. “But just be with me in this present moment. Think about what I could be for you now.” He says quietly. 

After some time, you lift your head to meet his gaze, the faintest smile on your lips. 

“Okay.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widened in shock and by the look on his face, you were certain that he thought you were going to reject him. 

“O-okay? You’re sure?” He presses. 

“I’m sure. I can tell you truly meant what you said and I think this would be the better outcome for us. I don’t think I could picture my life without you in it.” You admit. 

“Then I promise you won’t ever have to picture it because I won’t leave you. I won’t leave you, Y/n.” Hyunjin declares. 

You lean in and press a soft kiss to his lips. You aren’t sure whether your head is throbbing from your injury or the thrill that comes with you and Hyunjin finally being together. 

You just hope that Hyunjin is able to keep his promise that he won’t ever leave you; and that in the end, you made the right decision. 

jisung | 1.1k (1115) words 

You and Jisung sit on your sofa with a cup of tea in both of your hands. It’s been ten minutes since he has arrived and not one word has been said between the two of you. 

That’s how things usually are between you and him though. You don’t particularly need to say anything to know what the other one needs. 

However, you fear that your senses haven’t quite been tingling like they ought to be. Since what you thought was commonly shared between both parties has seemed to only be dumped into one. 

An unrequited love is always bound to end in heartbreak and you’re sure that is how today is going to end. 

“Is it just me or do things feel a little odd?” Jisung says breaking the ice, but in a way which has submerged the two of you in ice cold water. 

“Well I think I would be a little more fraught if things didn’t feel odd.” You add. 

You aren’t exactly happy with him at the moment either. In fact you think it’s in his best interest to explain just what he meant in those text messages. 

“Explain yourself then.” You say not beating around the bush. 

Jisung places his mug down before turning to you. 

“I wanna start by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry for how I worded what I was trying to say in those texts. You aren’t stupid Y/n, I promise. I’m the one that’s being stupid.” He meets your gaze and you give him a single nod. 

“The truth is, I don’t think I’m ready to have a relationship with you.” 

If your feelings are hurt, you will yourself not to show it on your face. Except your face goes pallid as you feel the knife stab directly into your beating heart. 

“Then why make it seem as if we were? Why not shut it down? Better yet, why use me to get your rocks off and make me think that I am going to amount to more than just your best friend?” Your voice croaks, unable to hide the emotion you’re feeling. 

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. 

“I can’t give you a definite answer of why I did all of that right now.” He says quietly. 

You can’t help the scoff that falls from your mouth. 

“What the fuck Ji? Why are you even here then? What are we even doing?!” You say starting to grow more upset. 

His eyes widen slightly as he looks at you. He places a hand on your arm and is surprised when you don’t shrug him away. 

“I promise I don’t mean to vex you, I just don’t have an answer because I don’t know. I just know that us having slept together made things seem…real. Like we were actually happening. When in actuality we weren’t and never will be.” 

That was a punch to your gut so hard that your body viscerally reacted to his words and hunched over slightly. You can’t believe what you’re hearing. 

This can’t be the Jisung that you were friends with for so long. No, he would never say something so outright. 

It’s as if he hasn’t even registered what he just said because his face is that of worry as to why you are stunned silent. 

“Jisung,” he winces at the use of his full name. “What did you expect to happen between us? Be honest, don’t say that you don’t know.” You speak gently. 

He thinks for a moment, his hand slipping from your arm as he uses it to fiddle with the zipper of his jacket.

“I just expected for us to play around and not take it to the next step. I just wanted a bit of fun with my best friend. That’s not so bad is it?” He confesses, looking at his feet. 

The knife is pushed deeper. 

You honestly aren’t sure how to react. What to say or even do. So you sit in silence. 

Minutes go by and all you can hear are the hum of the electronics in the room and the breathing of Jisung. He always has been a loud breather. 

A clearing of the throat pulls you out of your trance. 

“Please say something, anything.” He pleads. You slowly turn your face towards him. 

“What would you like me to say Jisung? I have just found out that my best friend—you—has been using me for shits and giggles and being a total ignorant asshole while he does so.” You retort. 

He shakes his head as he frowns at your words. 

“No, no I’m not the bad guy here. I didn’t use you just for that. Why would I do that Y/n? You mean more to me than that.” He runs his hand through his brown locks, getting frustrated. “Look, I don’t think we should blow this too much out of proportion. We did something that we shouldn’t have and now we just have to move on.” He says. 

“You don’t mean that.” 

“You’re my best friend Y/n. You know me inside and out. Maybe I haven’t been so transparent with you lately. I just think that I need to figure out some stuff on my own because clearly everything I say is hurting you and I hate the way I hurt you. Fuck, just seeing your face now, knowing I was the cause. I can’t do this. Not anymore.” He says solemnly. 

You blink. The tears trickle down your cheeks as you take into account what he is saying. 

No. This isn’t your Jisung. Just give him some time and he’ll be back. He’ll come back. 

“What are you saying to me Ji?” He places a hand on your cheek before standing up and putting on his shoes. 

You immediately get up and follow him to the front door. 

“Jisung.” You whisper. He opens the door and steps out, stopping and turning to you once more. 

“I’m always gonna be in your corner Y/n. Okay? Always.” Jisung says as he smiles sadly at you and turns away from your door. 

Watching him leave feels like the knife is twisting uncontrollably. You shut your door, not wanting to see him in case you’ll do something stupid like run and stop him from walking out of your life. 

You’re angry, you’re hurt, you’re confused. You’re in a state of shock. Was that a goodbye? Will you ever see him again?

You cover your mouth with your hand as you sob quietly as reality sets in. You had just lost the man you had fallen for, your best friend. 

You aren’t sure if he is ever coming back. 

felix | 1.0k (1077) words

The sun is setting and you find yourself in the familiar skatepark which you and Felix frequently visit to hang out. 

This was a first, you getting here before him. It felt uncanny, especially since the skatepark is an empty void. It’s not like you’re here at the late hours of the night which is what you guys usually do, so where are the people?

As you sit atop the ramp wondering this, Felix climbs up and sits next to you. 

“Hey Y/n.” He greets. No remark about you being here before him for a change. You face him and greet him with a small smile. 

“The sky is pretty this evening. Any particular reason for why you wanted to meet at our spot earlier than usual?” He asks you. 

“I knew the sky would be worth seeing from here today. I also wanted to be able to see your face when you lie.” You deadpan. 

He audibly swallows at this which makes you chuckle and start to swing your feet. 

“I’m kidding. Just wanted to watch the sun go down.” You tease. 

It’s silent, bar the birds chirping and the rustle of the leaves as the wind dances through the trees. 

“So about what happened with us,” Felix starts. “You think that we are more than just best friends?” He asks. You hum in acknowledgement. 

“I thought we were more than best friends for a while. You know, since this whole shebang started. The sex was just what I thought was you being ready to take our relationship further. Though that was foolish of me to think and not double check with you.”

Felix, now turnt to face towards the sunset, is quiet as he takes into consideration what you have just said. 

“It wasn’t foolish.” He says ever so quietly. 

Your legs still their movement as you turn to look at him. His face is being kissed nicely by the sun right now, his freckles practically glowing. 

“Of course it was foolish Felix. Or else we wouldn’t be here now.” You smile as you tip your head back and close your eyes, letting the last of the sun’s warmth seep through your skin. 

“No. It wasn’t foolish because I was ready. Okay that’s not entirely true, I caught feelings months ago but I only became sure about them during that week I was away.” He softly speaks. 

You drop your head and look towards him. His eyes are still glued to the vast blanket of orange and yellow across the horizon. 

“But that’s not what you said in those text messages. You said that you think that boundary shouldn’t have been crossed in the first place. Yet now you’re saying this? Forgive me Felix, but I’m finding it hard to believe what’s coming out of your mouth.” You sigh.  

He finally turns and looks at you, a small scowl on his face. 

“I know what I said in the texts Y/n. I don’t go back on my word. I do think a boundary was crossed and as best friends it shouldn’t have been.” A beat. “Though that doesn’t mean that I don’t feel something towards you. That’s why I’m so confused.” He turns his head back towards the sky, the deep shade of blue starting to make itself evident. 

“Like I said, I didn’t expect to catch feelings for you and then have sex with you.” He finishes. 

You lay down, watching the dark grey clouds move. 

“Do you remember much of that night?” You ask. 

“Of course I do. How could I ever forget. I mean we are literally sitting on the ramp that it happened on.” He reminisced. 

“Remember when I told you that I was yours and you were mine? That was probably said in the heat of the moment, but I meant it Felix. I’m not the kind of person who says things for the sake of saying them. Plus, I’m not focused on anybody other than you.” You say, closing your eyes again as the cool air brushes against your face. 

Though your eyes are closed, you sense that Felix was staring at you. You hear his clothes rustle before you’re wrapped up in his arms. 

He is cuddling you. 

“Doll, I’m sorry. I didn’t just say those things because we were high off oxytocin. You really mean so much to me. I don't want us to argue, I just want us to be together. For real. No hesitations, no take backs. Just you and me living how we do, but together as one.”

You can feel something wet drip into the crook of your neck. You know it’s not raining so you figure he has started to cry. 

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings Y/n. It’s not what I wish to ever do to the person I love.” He sobs. 

You open your eyes as you hear his admittance. The person he loves. The person he loves. 

“You love me?”

“I’m in love with you. I was trying to make sense of if I truly meant it over that week and I reacted like I did earlier because I know you didn’t love me back. I was embarrassed.” He confessed. 

You turn over in his arms as you grab ahold of his face. It’s dark now, but a nearby light creates a twinkle in his eyes. 

“I want you to be sure that this is what you want. You don’t have to promise me forever, but promise me that this is truly what you want until it isn’t.” You say gently. 

His bottom lip wobbles slightly as he takes a deep breath in then out. 

“I am sure. I promise. I love you, I’m in love with you. I want us to be best friends. I want us to be lovers. I want it all. I want you.” He whispers against your lips. 

You smile, wiping his tears away with your thumb. 

“Okay, me too. We’re locked in?” You hold up your pinky. 

“We’re locked in.” He connects his pinky with yours and pulls your face in to kiss you softly. 

The two of you lay there in each other’s arms for the rest of that evening until a security guard ushered the two of you away. 

As you walk hand in hand down the street, you’re just glad that you have this ball of sunshine all to yourself. For as long as time allows. 

seungmin | 1.5k (1518) words 

You were nervous. More nervous than you expected yourself to get. Which is probably how you find yourself scrambling to get your phone, sending Seungmin a message to say that you don’t want to meet up and would rather just call. 

His reply after reading your message was to immediately dial you up, leaving no time for you to think about what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it. 

You answer the phone with baited breath. 

“Why didn’t you want to meet me? You nervous or something?” He says very straightforwardly. 

Yes. 

“No. Just realised that I have things to do and I can multitask if I speak with you over the phone.” You lie. 

You hear him sigh on the other side of the line. 

“I’d rather you weren’t multitasking whilst we are having an important conversation about us. Pay attention.”

Your jaw clenches as you bite your tongue. 

“Fine. Since you want to be such an adult about this, why don’t you do us the honour and start us off?” You quip. 

“You already know how I feel about that night. About us blurring those lines between friendship and something more. We shouldn’t have. Having said that, I value our friendship too much to let something like that fuck it up.” Seungmin says plainly. 

You roll your eyes, not understanding what exactly he means by that. 

“Okay…but you do realise that us sleeping together has changed everything, right?” You say unwavering in your tone. 

“Wrong.”

You waited for him to finish what you hoped would be a longer sentence, but all you could hear was the minor feedback from the other end of the line. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you try again. 

“What do you mean, wrong? Things can’t go back to normal after that night, shit, after everything that’s happened between us.” You exclaim. 

“And I’m not saying they have to—”

“You are absolutely not still using me as a way to blow your load Seungmin.” You interrupt harshly. 

You hear him groan on the other end of the phone to which you decide to put him on speakerphone and place him on your bed. You wipe your face with your hands in frustration as you wait for him to speak. 

“I’m not going to do this with you if you’re going to be angry for starters. Especially if you’re going to be interrupting me. Got it?” He asserts. 

You release a huff of air, choosing to stay quiet in regards to what he has just said, but you reluctantly agree. 

“Fine, sorry. Carry on.” You say as nicely as you can muster up. 

“What I’m saying is I care about you Y/n. I don’t think it’s fair that people have also been feeding you troubles about our friendship. It’s between us and not them. They don’t know what the fuck is going on and I’ll be getting on their asses for that later, but right now my focus is on you.” He explains. 

You stay quiet, noting the fact that he is now outside and walking. 

“Seungmin, you can’t seriously fault our friends for noticing something you were determined to ignore. We were doing things couples do!”

“But we aren’t a couple. That is what I’m trying to get at Y/n.” He says exasperated. You hear a police siren go by on his end of the line which muffles the last part of his sentence. 

“Then why even do all that with me? Of course I was going to catch feelings. I’d be stupid not to!” You exclaim, resting your head in your hands. 

He’s quiet. The only sounds to be heard is the distorted traffic. You sit there unmoving, wondering why he isn’t speaking. 

A loud series of knocks on your door jolt you out of your trance. 

“One second, someone is at my door.” You alert Seungmin. Putting on your slippers, you rush to the door. You open it and you feel your face run cold. 

Seungmin huddles over, catching his breath before he makes a show to end the call between the two of you. 

“I am not having this conversation with you over a fucking phone.” He pants. 

He lets himself in, your mind still boggled at the fact that he chose to fast walk over here just to have this conversation. You’re both touched and terrified. Touched because he seems to really care about talking about your relationship in person. Terrified because this is getting much more serious than you thought it was. 

It’s times like these where you wish you and Seungmin hadn’t planned to live so close together. Now you have no choice but to face him in the flesh. 

In the time that you were finally able to come to your senses and shut your front door, Seungmin had taken off his shoes and jacket and was standing behind you waiting. 

He grabs ahold of your hand and leads you to your own bedroom. 

“Seungmin, I don't want to have angry sex with you.” You blurt out. You could’ve sworn you heard him chuckle, but he’s already sitting you on the edge of your bed. 

He places his hands on your shoulders and imitates taking a deep breath in and out. 

“No, that is not what I’m here to do.” He crawls up to the top of your bed and sits resting against the headboard. “I am here to make amends and stop what shouldn’t have started in the first place.” He says calmly. 

You have to hold your stomach to try and soothe the impending vomit that is about to ascend up and out of your mouth. 

“I’m gonna be honest with you Seungmin. What you did, knowing you never wanted it to happen or go this far, was not cool. I’m not saying you’re to blame for the whole of it…but as someone who was catching feelings and seemingly thought you were as well, I genuinely thought that us continuing to be intimate with each other was because you liked me.” You finish. 

As you sit crossed-legged at the foot of the bed and Seungmin sits at the head, you start to feel this strange disconnect between the two of you. 

Seungmin sits there silent, clearly thinking of something to say in response. 

“I…I think I didn’t stop it because it felt good.” He says. 

“Good because it was us or good because you had someone to calm your sexual frustrations?” You ask. 

The way he hesitates to answer and hold eye contact with you tells you everything you need to know. 

You let out a scoff, getting up from your bed and starting to pace laps in your room. 

“I cannot believe this. You were the last person who I thought would do this to me.” You say, pointing an accusatory finger at him. 

“Y/n you know I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I-I care about you!” He says now getting up from the bed. 

He goes to reach out and grasp your arm but you step out of his way, causing him to stumble slightly. 

Not only are you fighting your tears, but you are battling your inner turmoil. Something like this would deem him unfit to stay in your life, no?

You couldn’t possibly still be his closest friend if he truly just used you for pleasure, right?

“Y/n please look at me.” He says, his hands now balling up besides his legs. 

“I can’t do this anymore. I want you to leave.” You speak barely above a whisper. 

“What?”

“I want. You. To leave.” Your voice cracks slightly, but you turn around to face him. His eyes are wide and his mouth hangs open, as if he isn’t quite sure that this is what you mean. 

Taking the initiative, you walk out of your bedroom and to your front door. You hear his footsteps behind you, murmuring a few ‘waits’ and ‘calm downs’. Grabbing his jacket, you shove it in his chest and step back. 

Your arms are wrapped around yourself for comfort as you keep your head held low. 

Seungmin silently puts on his jacket and shoes and reaches for the door handle. Yet, as he is about to open the door, he pauses midway through his movement. 

“Leave your house or leave you forever?” He says disconcertingly. 

You lift your head up, his back facing you. You assess him for only a moment. His hand that strangles the door handle shakes slightly and his other hand grasps his jacket. 

“Both.” You choke. 

He doesn’t miss a beat. Swinging open the door and leaving without looking back. 

Just like that, all those years of friendship cut abruptly due to the confounding circumstances that conspired between the two of you. 

Some could say it was rather quixotic of you to expect that you could actually have a relationship with Seungmin. 

Though you would just say that perhaps falling in love with your best friend was never the right path, but one you were unfortunate enough to take. 

i.n | 1.2k (1257) words

You can’t control the way you feel. You’re hurt. You’re beyond angry. You’re hysterical. How dare he talk to you like that? How dare he disregard everything the two of you have been through because he wants to stay your ‘best friend’?

You well and truly can’t promise that you won’t blow up on him when he gets here. That’s if he even bothers to show up. He’s already twenty minutes late and you’re sitting in the cold, on a park bench, drinking your hot chocolate.

“Y/n!” Jeongin calls out to you as he walks over to sit beside you on the bench.

“Where’s mine?” He says, his voice laden with sarcasm as he points to your drink. He quirks his eyebrow at you as he assesses your mood and it certainly isn’t one accommodating his jokes at the moment. 

Breathe…breathe…

He turns to face you, one leg crossed beneath him as his arm rests on the back of the bench, his gloved fingers tapping a beat on your shoulder. 

“Are you feeling better now? You’re gonna talk this out with me like the adults we are, hm?” He smiles.

You turn to face him, unable to mask your ire. 

“Just best friends huh?” You speak for the first time in a while. 

Jeongin stops tapping your shoulder to run his fingers through his hair. Tugging his coat closer around him to provide some sort of warmth to not only protect himself from the bitter chill of the air, but the icy look in your eyes.

“I admit, crossing those lines with you was never my intention. Being that I didn’t kiss or sleep with you because I wanted a relationship with you. I guess I was just lonely, you were available…tensions were high and we couldn’t control ourselves.”

You actually feel your heart drop to the pit of your stomach. This is not the Jeongin you knew and loved as your best friend. No, he was far nicer than what you’re currently faced with.

You are rendered speechless. The only thing you can think to do is take another sip of your hot chocolate.

It would be ideal if your hands stopped shaking.

“You get where I’m coming from though right? Like I said, I care for you. More than anybody else I know, but what we did was a mistake and that’s okay. We’ll know to never let those boundaries be crossed again alright?” He says placing a hand on your thigh.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Y/n–”

“Jeongin get your hand off of me, now.”

The smile that you used to adore, now falls from his face. His lips thinning as his jaw clenches and his gaze hardens.

“I genuinely thought that you had reason to be so pissy at me, you know, due to your work being so busy and all,” You laugh bitterly. “But you really are just a fucking asshole.”

He rolls his eyes and moves to get up before your hand reaches out to stop him.

“Sit the fuck down, I’m not done with you. I’m only going to say it once.” You say acrimoniously. 

Heeding your warning, he sits back down, his hands finding solace in his lap. 

“See, I was speaking with Hyunjin when you were supposedly too busy to talk to me and he gave me some pretty good advice.” You say finishing the rest of your drink and setting it aside. 

“What are you doing asking him for advice? He has no business knowing what goes on between the two of us, let alone an argument.” He spits.

Ignoring his disapproval, you elect yourself to continue. 

“He said that you don’t deserve me in your life. That a best friend would never, should never treat me like that–”

“Oh bull-fucking-shit! He is only saying that so that he can gets his filthy hands on you himself.” He interrupts, shaking his head as he looks beyond the lake at the horizon.

“I agree.” 

Jeongin nods his head in approval to your words. 

“You don’t deserve me in your life.”

His head snaps to yours as he sits up straight, clasping his hands together as he tilts his head.

“What?”

“I am not your little fucktoy for you to use whenever you get sick of your hand. I’m not the easy option because I’m the closest you can get to getting off without people catching on. You know because we’re best friends, right? No one will suspect a thing, right?”

You have started, gone past the point of no return as you lay into him and rightfully so. 

“I thought you had calmed down from earlier? What, did you discuss with Hyunjin all of the things to say to me before I got here? The fuck does he know? He doesn’t even know you like I do!” He exclaims, his voice raising in pitch. 

You gawk, unable to believe how he just bypassed what you said to talk shit about his friend. 

“This isn’t about Hyunjin for fuck’s sake! This is about us! Or rather the lack of.” You stand up, taking deep breaths as you pace in front of him back and forth. “You keep talking to me like I’m some fucking child. Like I can’t comprehend the words that are coming out of my mouth.”

You stop in front of him, sighing. 

“I don’t want to be in your life anymore. I’m done.”

His eyes widen as he grasps ahold of your hands, his thumbs rubbing over your knuckles.

“You don’t mean that. You’re just angry. You want me to apologise? Okay sure. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have used you like that and let it get that far knowing I wasn’t ready for a relationship.” He begs. 

You feel your eyes start to well up with tears. This isn’t how you imagined a six year friendship to end, but alas, here the two of you are. 

He stands now, moving his hands to cup your cheeks, his eyes darting between yours. 

“Come on. Let’s not act rash now Y/n. It was a mistake.” He keeps trying to reassure you. 

You shake his hands off of your face as you take a step back. 

“It wasn’t a mistake for me. It never was and never will be because I didn’t just see you as someone who was available. I’m serious, I won’t be treated like shit. Not anymore and certainly not by you.” You affirm. 

He lets his hands fall to his sides, his fists clenching. 

“So this is it huh? You really wanna leave me, leave six years of friendship because you got your feelings hurt?” He asks. 

“Fuck you, Jeongin. Don’t contact me ever again. I’m finished.” You say scoffing a laugh. 

You pick up your empty cup and start to walk away, not bothering to turn back to see how he reacts. Only then do you let the tears run marathons down your face. 

Little did you know, his fists unclenched and his hands were brought to his face. He collapses onto the bench, watching your figure get smaller and smaller until he can no longer see you. 

It was in that moment, where Jeongin only just realised how royally he had fucked up. His head falls into his hands as he takes deep breaths. 

The smoke caused from the cold air and the warmth of his mouth floating along the sky. Much like you, floating out of his life and disappearing. Lost to the abyss of a forever memory in his heart. 

a/n: the plate is still full i fear because why do i hate this so much AHSGAIA SGAISBSKSVG (i apologise. i said i would deliver, but the package got lost in transit)

ʚ hope you enjoyed ^.^ you can support me by liking, commenting  and reblogging! it is heavily appreciated ᵕ̈ ɞ

i do not permit my work to be translated or reposted in any way, thank you. 

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