#this is one of the funniest thing I’ve ever read I don’t know why I put it out for so long

[weldnas]

Reads Portnoy’s Complaint as a parody of Freud’s Three Essays on The Theory of Sexuality

#tw Freud #This tag exist lol #I’m loosing my mind #this is one of the funniest thing I’ve ever read I don’t know why I put it out for so long #Portnoy’s complaint #philip roth

[alhaithamsproperty]

you’re the best i ever had, you’re the worst i ever had

Theo Nott x Reader

plot: you and theo used to be close, until one day you weren’t, and he can’t get your attention in any other way than being mean to you | angst, angst, angst

I’m so fucking sorry, I’m so fucking sorry

I’ve been playing somebody and it’s helping nobody

And now I’m sick, throwing fists

And I have seen you in my head every fucking day since I left

— 11 minutes, yungblud

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

“Hey,” you mumbled to him, getting no answer, as per usual, and as always, he wondered if you’d ever stop saying hi to him on a Thursday morning before Potions.

Apparently not.

Draco sat infront of you, and mumbled a “shit!” before turning to you, “Y/N did you finish the assignment?”

“Oh… um, no,” you forgot about all your assignments lately. Theo occupied your mind way too much.

“What did you expect, that her dumb ass did it?” Theo mumbled and shoved his own finished paper at Malfoy. Your heart dropped and even Draco gave him a puzzled look. The friend group knew you and Theo stopped talking, they didn’t know most of the things he said to you tho.

But he shrugged it off, not caring much, and turned around to quickly copy the homework.

You stay quiet, practically not moving an inch, lost in your own head. You hear Theo smirk next to you. “Don’t act so surprised, it’s true,” he whispered.

You ignore him, knowing any word coming out of your mouth would be a stutter. You looked down on your own paper, deciding to at least try finish some of it before the class starts.

You read the first question and don’t even finish reading it, your eyes instead glued on your shaky hand. Theo notices too. “Aww,” he pouts, “don’t tell me you are upset now.”

“Fuck off Theo,” you finally say back, your voice breaking before saying his name. You never thought you’d be saying his name like this. With so much sorrow.

He lets out a silent laugh, “Do you wanna know what the funniest thing is?”

“No.”

“You can’t help but say hi to me every time. You hate me yet you seek me out every chance you get, hoping I’ll talk to you. It’s honestly amusing.” His voice was sharp.

You stay silent for a moment, gathering yourself up, hoping you won’t break. “Maybe I should stop.” You finally say. Not even denying anything he just said. It was the truth. You both knew it was. It just hurt as hell.

He laughs. “Now why would you do that? You would be so lonely without the only human interaction you keep so desperately hoping for. Plus you’d have no one to annoy.”

You don’t answer him. There are thoughts racing through your mind, you want to tell him so badly to go to hell, but you just don’t manage to say anything.

He leans closer to you, and whispers, just a little lower than his previous words, “You sure you don’t wanna tell me what’s on your mind?”

“You know,” you say, but don’t look at him, feeling anger gather in you as well, “you talk way too fucking much for someone who’s annoyed by me and wants me out of their life.” This time you do. You glare at him.

He looks you in the eye for a moment, and then smirks. “But I like to annoy you. You’re just too easy to rile up. It’s pathetic.”

You break eye contact with him again. It was the first time in a long time you even looked him in the eye, and you managed to feel tears staining your cheeks. You didn’t want him to see it. And in that very moment, you felt your heart truly break. Your teacher appeared in the door the very second you grabbed your bag and got up.

“Ah, miss Y/N—“

“Sorry,” your voice broke as you walked past the teacher.

“That’s a shame, she didn’t finish the paper,” the teacher mumbled as he was taking all the papers from his students.

“She left it here,” Theo said and gave him the paper Draco managed to sneak back to him a second ago.

“Hm. And your paper, Mr. Nott?”

“I forgot about it… sorry.”

─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───

Something Theo told you this morning broke you. You’ve slowly been breaking for the last few months, whenever he’d ignore you, look away from you, not answer you or use cruel words, a little bit of you died. And there was nothing left after today.

You cried in your room for hours, thinking about when it all got so fucked up. You used to be close friends, taking classes together, going to the Forbidden forest together, he liked you enough to introduce you to his friends, even. One time he even got in a fight for you when some ass from Gryffindor tried to touch you.

Eventually you ended up kissing a few times, and stealing touches, and before you knew it he spent a few nights in your room, keeping you warm and whispering sweet promises that meant absolutely nothing now.

And then it stopped. Just like that. At first he ignored you, and then the cruel words came in, and it kept getting worse, all up until today.

Who knows how you even ended up here, in the middle of a Slytherin party, drowning in yet another drink.

“Hey, don’t you wanna calm down with that?” Draco laughed next to you and grabbed the cup from your hands. You gave him a quick look and reached for a new cup, and almost drank the whole thing again. “Nope.”

“Right. My guess is it’s to do with Nott?”

“Who?”

“Very funny,” he rolled his eyes and grabbed your back to stop you from falling. “Well, if you are over him, Cormac has been asking about you.” Theo almost broke his nose when he asked him, but Draco didn’t tell you that. It would be to no good.

“I can put a word in for myself, thank you,” Cormac suddenly appeared by your side and snuck his arm around your waist. Draco rolled his eyes and disappeared.

“What the fuck was that?!” Theo jumped in front of him and shoved him without thinking.

“Calm down,” Draco shrugged him off and took another sip from the cup he confiscated earlier. “It’s at least gonna be funny,” he nodded to Cormac leaning over your body and mumbling something to you.

“No the fuck it won’t,” Theo growled at him. He looked at you again, and the way Cormac was practically all over you… didn’t you mind?

Gosh, you were so infuriating, did you know that?

He noticed the way your hand brushed over Cormacs, and suddenly he felt sick to his stomach as well.

He noticed the way he kept telling you some bullshit and the way you giggled. And he thought to himself don’t you dare kiss him.

He swore he saw you look at him for just a second, like your eyes searched for him in the crowd, but before he could even process that, you were the one pulling Cormac in for a kiss.

You kissed Cormac. And it felt… wrong. Every single second of that kiss you were just thinking that he’s not Theo. How kissing Theo felt right, and how wrong this feels. You felt his hands on your hips and you felt like crying and breaking down again at the thought of Theo. Why couldn’t it be him?

You felt your eyes water again, but before you could pull back, someone pulled Cormac back so roughly he turned around immediately, and you just saw Theo slam his arm down on Cormacs face. And keep beating and kicking him until his friends dragged him away.

You felt furious. You grabbed his shoulder and turned him to you. “What the fuck Theo?!”

“You kissed him! I fucking—“

“And why the FUCK DO YOU CARE?!” You yelled at him, screaming in frustration. You saw him freeze in his spot for a moment.

He gathered his breath. “Because… you’re mine.”

This time you were the one to laugh at him. For the first time in months he heard your laugh and it didn’t sound as pretty as it used to. At all. “No, I’m fucking not. You keep hurting me, the only thing you do is hurt me and laugh at me, I don’t want to be yours. I wanted to, I really did…” you looked him in the eye, and found your voice breaking again, “but you pushed me away.”

He grabbed your arm, squeezing it in desperation, “You wouldn’t have kissed Cormac, would you? Tell me, why did you kiss him?”

“I don’t know…”

He raised his voice at you. “Don’t lie to me!”

You felt your eyes tearing up again. You tried to get away from his grip, all you wanted to do right now was to get away from him. You never wanted to feel this way. “Leave me alone.”

His grip only tightened as his voice got louder. “The truth, Y/N. Did you kiss him to make me mad?”

You looked at him in disbelief. “And why would me kissing someone even fucking matter?! You hate me, remember?”

He grew angry, he stepped closer to you, staring into your eyes. “Answer me. Did you do it to spite me or did you do it because you are attracted to him?”

“I did it to forget about you Theo.” You say, and his grip on you becomes loose, for the first time in so long you see an expression on his face. “Because you are in my head every fucking day since you left. And it hurts so much. You hurt me so much.”

He wanted to get closer to you, to say something, but you shook your head. “It’s your turn to answer the question. Why would you care if I kiss some random guy?”

“I don’t want some asshole hanging over you. I want you to myself…” he whispered.

“Then why do you treat me the way you do?”

He avoided eye contact with you, his body was shaking, he was fucked up, and it was the first time you saw him like this. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how else to keep your attention, how to tell you how I feel. Do you understand?”

You were staring at him. Did he realise how ridiculous he sounded? “No, I don’t understand Theo. Just leave me alone.” You pulled away from his grip and turned around to walk away.

“Wait,” he chased after you and turned you around to him. “You still care about me?”

You looked down. Breaking at how pathetic you’re gonna sound now. “I will always care about you Theo… even if you don’t.”

He bites down on his lip in frustration, “Listen to me, I do care, okay? I do care, and I’m sorry,” he picked your chin up and looked you in the eye. And you saw in his eyes that this was still your Theo.

“Please understand. I don’t know how to show how I feel. How can you even stand me after the way I acted?”

You watch him and feel a tear, you quickly wipe it, afraid you’re gonna look dumb, ridiculous, pathetic, and all those other stuff he called you. “I don’t know.”

He gently wiped your cheek with his thumb and pressed a kiss on the spot. “I’ll get better, I promise. Just… give me another chance. Please.”

You go quiet for a moment. “Okay…” you give him a small nod. His eyes lit up, but before he can say anything, you continue, “one chance Theo. One. If you mess it up I’m gone forever.”

He gives you a small sad smile. “I’ll be good. I promise, just don’t leave me. I don’t know what I would do if you were gone. You don’t wanna know what I would do if you were gone.”

“Okay…” you mumble and give him a quick kiss, then pull him in for a hug. Theo wraps his arms around your waist and holds you close to him, letting out a deep breath.

He kissed the top of your head first, and then grabbed your chin again to force you to look at him. “Can I?” He leaned closer.

You gave him a quick nod. “Please…”

And he kissed you. Properly. Deeply. Hoping you’ll know how he feels if his words can’t tell you. You kiss him back, and it feels okay.

“Let’s get out of here…”

#theodore nott x you #theodore nott #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott imagines #theodore nott x reader #theo nott #theo nott imagine #theo nott imagines #theo nott x reader #lorenzo zurzolo #slytherin

[nctstar]

Can I get a smut of Johnny suh using his size and strength kink on a petite female Y/N? Thank you~

heyy! i'm so sorry this is absurdly late :(( but hope you still like it! <3

small

Wasting no time to rid himself of his clothes, he spoke. “This room is fine, right?” Muscles bulging as he fiddled with his shirt, the ridges of his chest drawing in the singlet, you bit your finger almost comically. “Hello? Earth to _?” The brown of his eyes were soft, a sharp contrast to his stature. He smirked, his hair bouncing as he threw his head back slightly. “Like what you see?”

pairing: johnny suh x fem!reader

other members: none

word count: 2.4k

genre: romance, smut

warnings: sexual content so minors please dni!! as per the request the reader is smaller than Johnny but I refrained from describing body parts or her specific size or anything like that, she is just short. if you're sensitive to this kind of talk though maybe don't read <3 mild profanity, lots of kissing, johnny carries reader, manhandling, descriptions of johnny's torso and body throughout, dirty talk about the size of his ding dong schlong, mild degradation (use of slut), ripping clothes bc those muscles do more than lift weights <3, clitoral stimulation/fingering, reader is pretty slutty and dumb during sex (aren't we all), missionary sex, praising (sweet girl, good girl), condom use, talking after sex (post nut clarity fr)

disclaimer: this is a fanfiction purely from my (filthy) imagination. I don't know the nct members and don't claim that they act like this in real life. I also do not condone any of the activity by any of the characters in this fic. 

a/n: i have been in such a writer's slump particularly with smut! like i think i need some time off to write some good fics and some good smut, so i'm sorry anon and to all my lovely readers if this is shit :(

“Now why would he ever say that?” You peeked at your friend pacing around your small room through your hair. Scissors in one hand, your (new) bangs in the other, you winced. “Wait, girl, I made a mistake I think.”

She sighed as you let the strands flutter across your forehead, uneasiness settling in your stomach. “Didn’t you follow what he said?” Brad Mondo’s curtain bangs tutorial continued in the background as you turned your head expectantly from side to side. Your friend held your head in place with open palms, looking at you through the mirror. “It’s actually kinda cute. Makes you look…well…”

“Don’t say small.” She snorted, bringing a hand to her face to unsuccessfully cover her mouth. “I don’t care, that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

You pushed yourself off the stool, rolling your eyes as you started undressing. “He didn’t mean it like that.” Your belt clinked as your jeans fell to the carpet, and you started bringing your shirt over your heard. “I’m sure it was his way of complimenting me.” Despite all your efforts, you couldn’t stop the annoyance that cemented your words into place. “I guess.”

“Girl, you need to tell him that it bothers you.”

“It doesn’t bother me.”

“Yeah, and it’s not weird to call some girl you’ve been on two dates with small.”

The doorbell cut through the air, making you both jump. “Shit. It’s like he heard or something.”

“Shit. Wait, just let him in and get him to wait downstairs. Okay?” Sudden panic was settling into your body, making your hands shake. Your friend got the message and hurried downstairs, zipping her skirt up in record time while hobbling downstairs. “Hope I don’t smell like chicken. I hate having shifts on Fridays.”

Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you pulled the skirt over the curves of your thighs and butt, watching the way it held onto your body. Stuffing the ends of the top into the skirt, you walked over to pick out a pair of shoes.

“I’m heading out! Johnny’s waiting down here!” Your friend’s voice made your body do the kind of useless flurry that it does whenever you know you’re running out of time, and you drag out the highest heels you own. Small, my ass.

“Hey!” As usual, he softened his frame when he saw you, placing his hands in his pockets and smiling so big so you would forget to feel intimidated by his 6-foot stature, or rock-hard physique. His eyes were like small moons, bursting on his face whenever he smiled. “Hey, nice bangs.” You instinctively went to fiddle with them, silently cursing yourself for messing them up. “Thanks.” Your smile was a little forced, but you were giddy to see him, your body rocking back and forth without your permission, ankles rubbing against each other.

∞

“The pasta was so good,” you couldn’t stop raving, your hips knocking into Johnny as he walked you home, arms linked. “Like seriously, Johnny. So good.”

He laughed, the sound leaving him effortlessly. “I’m so glad you liked it. I remember the pasta here being amazing, but I was worried you would think I’m cheap or not taking you seriously. The place being run down and all.” You shook your head, your bangs shuffling from side to side as you did. “No, of course not. I would rather eat something good on the street than a tiny portion of something small and pretentious at an upscale place.”

He hummed, moonlight hitting his body, softening some angles and sharpening others, hair glowing golden brown as he walked. Your heels clacked against the linoleum of your front porch as you wondered whether your friend was home, but before you could reach for the front door, your knees buckled. You let out a small gasp as you felt Johnny’s arms around your body, pinching into your skin almost uncomfortably. “Oh shit! I’m okay, babe.” You both froze at the sudden nickname, his arms loosening around you as you straightened up. You shakily continued. “U-uhm, sorry, I mean-“

“I think your shoes broke.”                                                                   

Yeah, no shit, you wanted to bite back. But you held your tongue, frustration seeping through your pores as you held onto the rail, Johnny hovering protectively over you as you took the right heel off, now newly broken in two pieces. “Oh my god. These were so expensive! Ugh!”

“It’s okay. Maybe I can buy you another pair. Babe.” He said the last word almost sarcastically, and you glared at him. “Johnny.”

“I’m serious. I’m sorry those broke so easily. I’ll bring a new pair next time?”

“Johnny, wait.”

“You like me, right?” His face crumpled just a tiny bit. Not exaggerated like in the movies or anything, so subtle you would never notice from afar, or if you weren’t close. You warmed at the thought of knowing him so closely, so well, enough to know that something was not right in the lines of his eyebrows.

You gulped, not knowing how to respond.

“I feel like you kinda hate me.” He crinkled his nose when he said hate, almost sarcastically, but his tone jabbed you straight in the chest. You shook your head. No, of course not, you wanted to say. I like you. I like you so much. But I am small to you. I wonder if you think of me as small. Do YOU like me?

“I just, I don’t like being small.” He frowned, and so did you, the words sounding stupid as soon as they filled the small space between your bodies. “I mean, you called me small the other day. And I know you probably, well, definitely, meant it as a cute thing. Like physically. Like a term of endearment, you know? But, I don’t wanna be seen as small, like more than physically. You know what I mean?” You cringed internally at your words, watching him stare blankly back at you.

“Right.”

“I’m so sorry. I sound like such a jerk. I don’t mean to be hung up over one little word you said.” You bit your lip, tasting the remnants of your lipstick on your tongue. “It’s just what made me feel a little weird. But, I do like you, Johnny.” Your heart raced as you looked up at him. Your body moved without permission for the umpteenth time, and your arms melted around his hips, fingers splaying across the small of his back. Your mind screamed at you, but your body ignored it, burning up from within.

Tentatively, he brought one hand to your chin, skin warm but rough on yours. “I don’t think low of you. I never have. I just think you’re so fucking gorgeous. So perfect the way you are.” The butterflies in your stomach were now dancing, free, leaping over hills and grassy plains. “Sorry for the poor choice of words.”

You smiled, some of the tension leaving you as you let your bodies merge seamlessly, like lanes on an open road, like the sun as it meets the horizon. You kicked off your other shoe, standing on your tiptoes to meet his lips with yours. He tentatively glazed his hands over your sides, making you shiver and moan into his mouth. You brought your fingers to the nape of his neck, savouring the taste. “Mmm, Johnn-“

You yelped when he gripped your thigh, guiding it to press against his hips. “Jump up for me, baby.” You giggled, nodding as you straddled him, his torso gently rebounding back with your weight. As you met his lips once more, dragging your forearms across the top of his shoulders, you heard your front door open and close, the door to the downstairs bedroom fling wide open. As your back hit the bed, your hair splayed out onto the fresh sheets, knees bent, lipstick smeared.

Wasting no time to rid himself of his clothes, he spoke. “This room is fine, right?” Muscles bulging as he fiddled with his shirt, the ridges of his chest drawing in the singlet, you bit your finger almost comically. “Hello? Earth to _?” The brown of his eyes were soft, a sharp contrast to his stature. He smirked, his hair bouncing as he threw his head back slightly. “Like what you see?”

“Uh huh.” All the shame left your body as you drew circles on his body and face with your eyes, letting his thick frame tower over you. “Is this okay?” He breathed into your collarbone, and when you nodded fervently, you felt his lips suck and nip at your neck. Gasping, you gripped onto his neck, letting your ankles hook around the back of his jean-clad legs. “Y-yes. Yes please. Don’t tease, I want y-you so much.”

“Yeah?” He played with the buttons of your top, but you stopped him. “I can’t wait…just rip it off, please. I need you. Right now. Please, just use me. I know you can.” He drew an eyebrow upwards, and you almost felt a slight twinge of embarrassment until you heard the top rip, cold air exposing your lace bra, tits bulging as you arched your chest off the bed. “What a slut. Is this what you wanted all along?” He laughed as you wriggled under him, mouth latching onto the tops of your boobs. He released you only to throw your arms up, pinning your wrists down to the bed to watch your reaction. When you bit your lip in response, bringing your core closer to his, he laughed darkly. “Freak.”

“Yes, just for you, fuck, please.”

“Bet you’re just soaked under this tight little skirt. Want me to rip this off too?” You nodded before he could even finish his sentence, and the sound of your fabric ripping filled the air. “Mmm, just as I suspected.” As he dragged your panties down your thighs, you felt your wetness pool onto the sheets under you. “Please, please, hold me down and fuck me.” You whispered into his ear, letting your plump lips graze against his skin as you massaged the nape of his neck with your fingers. You whimpered when his jean-clad bulge bumped against your clit, the burn in your core growing with every passing second.

He kissed you deeply, pulling away at an agonising pace. “Tell me why, baby.” You whined, trying to gather some friction between your legs with no avail. His arms pinned yours to either side of your head, his legs like heavy weights against yours. “Please, I just, I want your cock i-inside me, w-want it to split me open…” He shook his head. “What makes you think I would do that to you? I’m too big for you, honey.”

You whined. “N-no, please. I don’t care, just, push it in me…” He laughed, kissing you. “Please, I want to feel so full…” He shushed you, sitting up to unbuckle his jeans. “Mmm, yes, yes please…” You were just babbling nonsense, the anticipation too intense to bear. His cock sprung out of his boxers, hitting his stomach, precum spilling out the edges of the tip. You heard him rip open a condom packet, dragging it on his length at lightning speed. He ran his cockhead through the folds of your pussy, making you whimper. “So wet.” He breathed, and you gasped as his tip entered you at an agonisingly slow place. “J-Johnny.” Your brain fought your body, wanting him to continue but feeling apprehensive at the impending stretch. “You’re so big. Fuck.” You snuck a hand down towards your clit, but Johnny grabbed your wrist, leaning over to kiss your chin. “Let me.” As he pressed one finger onto your core, you gasped, back arching, eyes squeezing shut. “O-oh, oh my…”

“You like that?” He started speeding up, your gasps and moans like drugs to his system. When he pulled away, he started pushing his length in, and you let out a deep breath, as if you had been holding it in the entire time. “Fuck.” You drawled, feeling him in every corner of your insides. “Fuck, Johnny. You’re, you’re so big, and s-strong.”

Johnny laughed, and you wondered for a second whether you had ruined the mood. “My cock making you lose your filter, babe?” You blushed, but the constant bump and stretch on your clit had your vision go foggy, your head spinning deliriously. You used your forearms to push away, breathing deeply as if his cock had suffocated you from the inside out. Johnny wrapped his arms around your hips, bringing you flush against his pelvis in one swift movement. “Uh uh, where do you think you’re going?” His snarkiness and the fulness in your lower stomach made your core squeeze excessively. “Ah, shit! Fuck, I think I’m gon-“ You felt it before you could finish your sentence, your climax stealing the words out of your mouth, making your heart thump incessantly against your ribcage.

Johnny cooed at your, his forearms now caging you by your head, peppering light kisses on your face. “You alright, sweet girl?” You nodded, gasping. “Please, please move.” He chuckled, groaning as he pulled back to thrust into you, making you throw your head back and scream. “Fuck, oh my god.” Your body shook with the force of his steady thrusts, his legs pinning your body down to the bed. “Good girl, that’s it.” He groaned, getting sloppier as he reached his climax. “You’re so good for me. So eager for me to pin you down and fuck you. Because I’m so big and strong, right?” You reached for Johnny’s neck, the embarrassment at your previous comments leaving you as you felt your core tighten, coil ready to snap. “Fuck, you just gripped me so tight, fuck. Nasty girl.” You moaned as you came, feeling him release inside the condom with a throaty moan.

Both of you heaving, gasping for air, you pulled Johnny close to your body, kissing his collarbone, his neck, his face. “I do like you, a lot.” Your breath tickled his skin as you spoke, and he stroked your hair gently with one hand, using the other to pull away from you to look into your eyes. “I’m sorry for calling you small. I admit, it’s a little weird.”

“Apology accepted. I think we’ve both called each other things we’re never gonna say again.”

“No, hon, you should always call me big and strong Johnny-“

“Johnny, please. Never mention that again. It was a moment of weakness!” You whined, shielding your face as he laughed, slipping off you to lie next to you on the bed. “Kinda sexy though.” You slapped his arm playfully, laughing as slipped down his forearm to take his hand in yours.

“I’ll think of something better for next time, promise.”

#kpop #nct #nct fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #nct scenarios #nct fanfic #nct imagine #kpop imagine #nct 127 #nct x reader #johnny suh #johnny smut #nct 127 smut #nct smut #kpop smut

[2knightt]

CANT HOLD IT IN ANY LONGER!!! i’m utterly obsessed with the curtis brothers.

idk if u do this, but if u can, the curtis brothers with a reader who’s super down bad for them? they make it so clear, too. constantly doing everything for them, making food, buying snacks, just utterly everything. compliments, holding their hand religiously … yk.

୧ ׅ𖥔 ۫ you know i’m a fool for you. ⋄ 𓍯

…IN WHICH! you think the curtis brothers are the only men on the planet.

tags/warnings: swearing(on my end/once during dialogue.) reader being slightly overprotective or insane, mentions of reader getting hit on, mentions of reader leaving lip stick stains, me not knowing what to write for darry.

ೃauthor notes⁀➷ i’m using ny other accounts layout bc i can’t be bothered rn. also i’m here to feed y’all i’ve noticed the outsiders x reader tag is lowkey dry asl.

Ponyboy Curtis:

WOAH HE CAN’T HANDLE ALLAT😭

like actually. he is TWEAKING AT ALL TIMES! when you first like started complimenting him, showering him in kisses, giggling n’ shit—he thought it was a one time thing.

ponyboy just thought he’d have to thug that shit out once a week or something. he was, in-fact, pleasantly surprised when you continued to do it.

“you’re so-mwah-cute! i wish-mwah-i could-mwah-hold you forever!”

“y/n…😣”

he’s so flustered omfg like actually he’s beet red LMFAOOO. if you were to put your fingers to his forehead it’d be so hot. like ponyboy’s avoiding eye contact, his lips are tightened, etc.

if he were to stay the night at your place—you make him all types of food. like, food he’d never heard of. or food he’d dream about after eating bologna for a week,

“for me? …really?”

“mhm! c’mon, don’t let it get cold now.”

ponyboy is DIGGING RIGHT THE FUCK IN. okay he is SCARFING THAT DOWN. after he’d be a little embarrassed of how quickly he ate but like you just took it as a good thing.

thinks you’re the best cook ever tbh. gordan ramsey has nothing on you type levels.

going on a walk with him to go grocery shopping for the curtis house with your hands intertwined and letting ponyboy ramble about this annoying substitute he had!!! IT’S REAL!!! ALL OF IT!!!

“n’ then he tried to tell me my answer was wrong when i studied last night—I EVEN ASKED MY FRIENDS. so, i know it was right. i just think mr. johnson had a personal vendetta against me.”

“smh…i could do slash his tires if you’d like♡!”

“what”

“nothing.”

AWHHH PONYBOY FOLLOWING YOU AROUND THE STORE LIKE A LOST PUPPY BECAUSE HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO BUY LMFAO

he’d like holding your sleeve or the hem of your shirt as you walk around, looking more awkward above all else.

uwahh showering ponyboy in compliments late at night when it’s just the two of you, twirling his hair as you hold him closer!!!

“you’re hair is so pretty. it’s so soft…i dunno why you put grease in it. if i was you—i’d never let anyone touch it.”

“i don’t. i only let you.”

“…REALLY??🥰🥰😚😚”

ur friends are soooo sick of you talking about ponyboy LMFAOOOO like actually. every time you go, ‘omfg did i tell you guys, he-‘ they know to just let you mindlessly ramble.

“and then ponyboy read to me ‘til i fell asleep! he’s so sweet—i dunno how he’s real!”

“i dunno how you’re so whipped.”

“he must be the funniest motherfucker on the planet if y/n’s this obsessed.”

Sodapop Curtis

OHHH Y’ALL ARE AT A CONSTANT WAR TO SEE WHO’S GONNA BEAT THE OTHER AT BEING THE BETTER PARTNER LMFAOOO

HE’S usually the whipped one in the relationship…he felt both extremely lucky and threatened when you started attacking him with kisses…

“you’re so handsome. i’m just the luckiest person on earth—ain’t i?”

“…yeah…🤨”

“why’d you say it like that?😞”

“cause I’M the luckiest person on the earth…I’M supposed to be tellin’ you this…”

but as time goes on—he does take the loss and accepts you’re better at him. for now. it’s only a matter of seconds until sodapop thinks of something insane to show his love for you.

anyways! IMAGINE COOKING WITH HIM OHHHH NY GODDDDD /?:&$:&: he just mainly stands there and looks pretty as he asks what you’re doing but SHHH. HE’S MORAL SUPPORT.

“…what?”

“i’m chopping onions for the flavour, honey.”

“you don’t like onions, though?”

“i don’t like the crunch rather than the flavou—YOU REMEMBERED I DON’T LIKE ONIONS??☹️☹️”

“of course i would!”

gladly holds ur hand 24/7. i’m not kidding. you two are like super magnets. HEHEHE IMAGINE HIM DRIVING WITH ONE HAND ON THE WHEEL AND HIS OTHER HAND HOLDING YOURS!!/!2!

you do take him grocery shopping. only sometimes, though. he only buys junk food rather than actual food.

“can i get these? please?”

“you already have two bags of chips in the cart, soda.”

“okay..😣”

“SIGH…get them.”

“HURRAY!”

knows you can’t say no to him and that’s like the only time he uses it to his advantage.

soc’s do hit on you under the premise of ‘showing you how a real man is supposed to spoil a lady like you.’ HOWEVER, you look at them like they’re aliens.

“hey, baby. what’re you doin’ around here?”

“…EW.”

“???”

they’re shocked above all else as they see you turn away from them and quickly walk away without looking back. AND WOOO SODA IS SO PROUD.

Darry Curtis

the gang acts like you two are constantly fighting whenever you start to look at darry with that sparkle in your eyes.

“guys, PLEASE! YOU’RE BREAKING UP THE FAMILY! STOP ARGUING!”

“what the hell are you on about, soda?”

“you’re scaring pony!” “don’t bring me into this.”

“mind you’re own business, soda.”

AJDIEHJR DARRY HAVING A HAND AROUND YOUR WAIST AS YOU MUTTER SWEET NOTHINGS BETWEEN KISSINGS>>>

you two are a POWER COUPLE IN THE GROCERY STORE! EVEN IF YOU REFUSE TO LET HIM PAY AND HE GETS POUTTY! EVEN IF HE DOESN’T TAKE COMPLIMENTS WELL!

“y/n, please. these are for my house.”

“so?? my wallet was out first.”

“that doesn’t mean anything. baby, i’m telling you, i’m paying.”

“too late, i already handed the cashier the money.”

you cook and clean for the curtis’ to take something off of darry’s back out of the kindness in your heart and totally not because you want him to pay more attention to you!! NEVER!!

but you do enjoy the fact that darry has more time to sit down and pay attention to you! and darry really likes the extra time he has!!

“you didn’t have to.”

“yes i did! you’ve been so stressed out, it’s the least i could do for you.”

“you’re such a treat, y’know.”

“mh. only f’you.”

you FORCE him to hold your hand. sometimes he forgets that he’s supposed to hold your hand in public so do NOT BE AFRAID TO GRAB IT YOURSELF.

but once you do, darry is the last person to let go. maybe to wrap an arm around your hip—BUT THAT’S IT.

teehee leaving lipstick stains on his white t-shirt accidentally🫶🫶!! it’s all so real to me!! sure, darry’s a little annoyed but it’s okay! he can never be mad at you!

#2knightt #the outsiders #the outsiders x reader #ponyboy curtis x reader #ponyboy x reader #ponyboy curtis blurb #ponyboy curtis imagine #sodapop x reader #sodapop curtis x reader #sodapop curtis blurb #sodapop curtis imagine #darry curtis x reader #darry curtis blurb #darry curtis imagine

[alittletaste]

SKIN CARE & AWARD SHOWS

↳ In which Harry uses a face mask before the Brits and has a deep conversation with y/n

Warning: sweet sweet fluff and a little article at the end! Please reblog and show some love if you enjoyed, i appreciate it! Anyways, have fun reading :)

-

It was no secret that Harry took care of his skin, from the very get-go, the first concert he ever had to perform, the night before, he stood in front of his mirror applying his face mask. And now ten years on, he was sitting on his bed, his beautiful wife sat opposite him, slathering his soft skin with a layer of creamy goodness.

“Harry, stop wiggling!” She whined, trying her best to smooth out the cream all over his perfect face. Harry smiles, listening to his wife, but not before cheekily sticking his tongue out and licking her hand that was hovering over his lips as she applied the mask to his nose.

“Oi!” She giggled, playfully slapping her annoyingly handsome husband on his thigh causing him to let out a belly laugh. “God, you’re so annoying”

“You love it though” he smiles, “it’s why you married me” Y/n rolls her eye, as she works on applying the face mask onto his forehead. She appreciates the headband Harry put on earlier, to keep his unruly locks out of her way.

“Is this the pore cleanser one?” Harry asked, looking at his wife, he was in awe of her. To him, his wife was the most beautiful person to ever grace the earth. To him, she was his everything. Harry often finds himself saying that he would be lost without her, he wouldn’t know what to do. Apparently, y/n keeps his head screwed on, she grounds him and sometimes humbles him. It’s what a man needs, he says, someone to not only love you but to keep you sane and make sure your ego doesn’t inflate too much.

“Mhm, it also calms the skin, helps any breakouts. I know you get some before a show, so this is perfect” y/n says as she finally applies the mask to his chin. She knew it’d be a good time to bring this mask out seeing as the Brits were approaching. The Brits meant a lot to Harry, his whole family would be watching and as he was opening the show, y/n knew he’d hate for a breakout to start right before.

“So thoughtful” Harry hums softly and a smile tugs on his face as his wife pulls back, inspecting her work. “Done?” He questions, earning a nod from his partner.

“All done” she smiles. “Just got to wait until it hardens now” she says.

“Whilst the mask hardens, I’ve got something else for you that I’m sure would harden up in a second” he smirks, eyeing his own junk, and y/n rolls her eyes as she realises what he’s referring to

“God, you just had to go and ruin the moment, didn't you? You can’t help yourself mister” she giggles and Harry laughs.

“It’s hard to contain myself around you, you’re m’everything. Y’know that, right?” Harry smiles, tucking y/ns hair behind her ear as he tugs her over towards himself.

“Be careful!” She warns as Harry ends up on his back, y/n now straddling him. “Don’t want to ruin my masterpiece” she spoke, referring to the face mask.

“Oh no! Would never want to do that, what a tragedy that would be” sarcasm thick in Harry’s voice. It was one of the many things y/n loved about him; his humour. It was very British, but also very funny. To y/n, Harry was the funniest man on the planet, but she didn’t dare tell him that, why boost the ego of a man who had millions of people going crazy over him any more than it already was? To y/n, Harry was also the sweetest, the best thing to happen to her. He came into her life and made it so much better, God what would she do without him and his humour to get her through the day?

“You’re so adorable” y/n speaks, her hands on Harry’s chest as she took him in, some parts of the facemask were now hardening, like the part around his nose and beneath his eyes.

“That should be my line��� Harry jokes, “but thank you, baby. You’re not too bad either”

“You’re such a meanie” she pouts and Harry reaches up to carefully pull her lips towards his own, there was no doubt that some of his face mask had transferred onto y/ns face but she didn’t mind.

“I’m only kidding baby” he says, pulling back, “I was serious before y’know that? You’re my everything, my most favourite person. Sometimes, it blows my mind, like I actually found my person you know?” He ponders.

“It’s crazy, isn’t it? I’m glad to be your person, I love you so much” smiling, she leans in for another kiss.

“I love you so much too, I’m happy to call you my person” Harry says, gently squeezing his wife’s side, happy that he found his lifelong companion and soulmate, happy that he knew he’d wake up to the same person by his side every day for the rest of his life, something he thought would once be impossible. You proved all his inner thoughts wrong and he couldn’t be happier.

And he certainly showed his appreciation when he won his four Brit awards, thanking you in each and every speech.

-

A CLEAN SWEEP FOR STYLES! HARRY STEALS THE SHOW WITH HIS BIG FOUR WINS

The former one direction star won all four Brits he was nominated for, including best album and best artist.

It was no surprise when Harry opened the show with his hit song, As it was, which later went on to win song of the year. Fans were, as expected, chanting the anthem back at him.

Styles looked absolutely amazing tonight, sporting four different looks for this occasion. Onlookers went on to say that although he looked absolutely stunning tonight and did have his fair share of jokes with the crowd, he made it quiet obvious that he is a happily married man.

During his acceptance speeches, Harry didn’t fail to recognise and shout out his wife, Y/n Styles, going on to say that she was his “forever muse” and that he would be “no where without her”

He also thanked his mum for pushing him to audition at x-factor, claiming that he “wouldn’t be standing here” if it weren’t for her. One thing we all know for certain is that Harry is a family man and we love him for that.

Even during his post award show interview, Harry was seen thanking his wife with a kiss on her lips before talking about how she was “always there for him” and this “album would be impossible to make without her” so cheers to y/n for these bangers.

He also mentioned how he was planning on “having a drink” so we hope he has a great rest of the night! A true champion like him deserves that.

#harry styles blurbs #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fanfiction #harry writing #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles x you #harry styles oneshot #harry styles social media

[buckyalpine]

To be deleted. This is just me screaming into the void. Don’t bother reading, scroll right past. I’ve never been more frustrated with my job. I’m most definitely very lucky to have one at all and there’s no doubt that I love it. It’s just ridiculous how much I do for such little pay. It’s not enough to make a living, I don’t have savings, my entire paycheque goes right to student loans and everything else.

I’m frustrated at the fact that teachers don’t get recognition for all the shit they do, nevermind all the extra stuff they do out of love for their class. How is it cuts are always taken from education. Class sizes keep getting bigger. Grades are combined together. The funniest part is teachers are getting less and less support within schools but we also have to make sure each kid is getting differentiated instruction, each kid is getting their needs met, each kid is accommodated for. Wr want to make sure no student feels isolated or left out so everyone is in the same classroom and we just have to figure out how to cater to everyone single handedly.

I’m sorry, how the fuck do you expect me to accomplish all that when you keep taking things away. Less staff, more responsibilities, more expectations, I’m hardly into my teaching career and I already want to quit. Behaviour is pretty much at the worst it’s ever been. I’m not even talking violence or bullying. There’s a huge lack in just the basic ability to focus, sit and listen for more than 2 minutes. Constant disruptions. Difficulty with conflict resolution. High sensitivity.

Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m still trying

[nonplatonicsubtext]

because nobody's read twig and nobody should, here's wildbow's funniest queerbait in its entirety below the cut

She dressed light, so she wouldn’t rumple her clothes.  She would want to look good when the Infante arrived.

Lillian looked so tired, even in sleep.

The black coat remained the goal, it had to be.  But this job and jobs like it, they felt like small steps.  They needed to accomplish something more.

They needed to not wait when they had answers others wanted.  Not when time was so elusive.

Mary took a moment to tie her hair back with her ribbons, then climbed onto the bed.  She remained there, poised, on her hands and knees above Lillian.

Gently, she lifted Lillian’s hands, moving them out of the way.  Then she leaned down, touching her lips to her friend’s.

Soft, almost imperceptible.

Lillian reacted, exhaling softly, and Mary moved the towel to cover Lillian’s eyes as she made the kiss more perceptible, momentary touches instead of feather light ones.

Lillian, more awake, raised her head up, reaching, and Mary met that response with something substantial, then a touch of tongue.

It was about drawing it out.  A quarter of the way, each time.  Then as Lillian responded more, halfway each time.

Lillian arched her back, reaching up with her whole body, while her wrists were held down.

The progression, logically, meant the next step was a three-quarter one.  Body to body.  Instead of this, Mary moved her knee, placing it on the bed between Lillian’s legs, firmly, insistently pressing.  She could feel Lillian change the angle of her hips.

A part of her liked getting this right.  Like managing the perfect maneuver with the knife and wire, precise acrobatics.  It made her think of being in lockstep with Gordon, Helen, or Sylvester.

Lillian made the most delicate of moans, and that response merited another three-quarter-of-the-way-there response.  A kiss, a tightening of her grip on Lillian’s wrists.

In the midst of it all, the moment passed.  A change in the responses that each action got.  In the immersion she was maintaining.

Mary let go, and sat back.

Lillian reached up, taking hold of the damp towel that had been draped over her upper face, and pulled it down, clutching it to her chest.

“What gave me away this time?” Mary asked.

Lillian shook her head.  She was breathing hard, and she didn’t speak immediately.

Mary let herself topple over, lying on the bed to one side.  While she lay there, Lillian took her hand, fingers traveling over Mary’s fingers.  Fingertips traced calluses.  From handling knives and razor wire.

“They’re not his hand,” Lillian said.  Her voice was soft enough it crackled a little bit.  She sounded sad.

“Ah,” Mary said.  “I can do something about that.”

As she looked over at Lillian, however, she could see that her friend’s eyes were sad.

“Unless you want me to stop.”

Lillian shook her head, but she didn’t look sure.

“You look so sad, after,” Mary said.

“It’s nice to believe it, just for a few moments,” Lillian said.  “I don’t know if that’s a good thing.  Maybe I’m not letting it be a clean break.”

“I don’t know,” Mary said.

“I’m so twisted,” Lillian said.  “The Lambs are all twisted around, aren’t they?”

“I’m not the one to answer that, one way or the other,” Mary said.  “It’s more or less all I’ve ever known.”

Still holding Mary’s hand, Lillian knit the fingers of their hand together, staring at the hands, which were held up as they lay there.

They remained like that for several minutes.

“I don’t want to bore you,” Lillian finally said.  “Or for you to think less of me.”

“I’d never think less of you, not for something like this.  And I like the challenge.  Seeing how close I can get,” Mary said.  “But if you want to talk about irritating me… why did we wait?”

#also fucked up cause it proves he can write decent intimacy #but only in the pursuit of homophobia #to be clear they WERE gay for this #but its an insane thing to write and not in a good way

[swiftllama]

February Compliments ☀️🔍

[Compliments Masterlist]

And we’re back! Not a lot of compliments for February but still a few so hope this will still be a fun read for you guys 😊

So let’s get into it!

February 2024

Is This Video Offensive?

So in this Flashback they reacted to the classic Molester Moon sketch 🌚 We only got one little compliment in this video but I thought I would still include it :-

-

They’re introducing the video dressed as moons and give each other a fist bump and saying how they’re ‘ordinary guys’.

Ian: “Anyway, um,” *turns to Anthony* “You look good.”

-

Another little moment I wanted to include which I just found silly :-

[talking about the pandora’s boxes that were opened with the creation of certain emojis]

Anthony: “The peach emoji…”

Ian: “Yeah, yeah, for real.”

Anthony: “The eggplant emoji.”

Ian: “Or do you think the creator was like, ‘let’s make it look a little bit like an ass’.”

Anthony: [laughs] “It’s a little bit like a huge, purple dong.”

Ian: “Dong.”

Anthony: “Yeah, I don’t know, honestly, it makes me wonder if they did know because it’s too perfectly ass-shaped. Right? I feel like it’s more ass-shaped than a peach. Peaches are not that perfectly ass-shaped.”

Ian: “I don’t know, bro.”

Anthony: “You seen some pretty good looking peaches?”

Ian: “I’ve seen some pretty tantalising peaches in my day.”

Anthony: [swallows] “Oh yeah? Do you want me to call you by my name?”

Ian: [in a low voice] “I could eat a peach for hours.”

👀 who doesn’t love Ian and Anthony flirting with each other 🤭🍑

What’s Wrong With This Soup? (Culinary Crimes)

So the boys went on Courtney’s new show and it did not disappoint with giving us some complimentary bestie moments :-

-

Courtney: “So the theme of this episode is foods that are vegan, gluten free, with some other twists as well.”

Ian: “So a lot of nuts, I presume.”

Anthony: “Besties with testes.”

Ian: “We are besties with testes, so.”

Silly but still quite cute, can never resist them calling each other besties even when it involves testes 😅

-

[First recipe they are given is soup]

Ian: “I have recently became a soup boy.”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Courtney: “You have become a soup boy. That’s why I put you on this case.”

Ian: “Oh, is that right? Yes.”

Anthony: “I have been a good soup boy’s assistant.”

Ian: “Yeah.”

Anthony: “Ian invited me over. I was a little assistant, we made some soup.”

Ian: “We made soup together.”

Anthony: “It was really good.”

WHAT?! THEY MADE SOUP TOGETHER! IAN INVITED HIM OVER AND THEY MADE SOUP TOGETHER!!! ANTHONY WAS HIS SOUP ASSISTANT!!! 😭…. Sorry, screaming over. But that is the cutest thing ever! So after the whole moment in January where Ian dashed many of our fantasies of them making soup together, it ended up actually happening and I am one happy girl knowing it did 😊

Making Of “Would You Push This Button?”

So the BTS of the Would You Push This Button? sketch provided us with a couple moments :-

-

Not a compliment or anything but you know, gotta include the high-fives.

-

Now this other moment is complimentary but the dialogue isn’t that important so I’m just going to give a run down of what is happening :-

[Anthony filming Ian sitting recording voice audio that no longer is getting used for the main video. Ian rambles on about how only members get to hear it and how we’re getting it for free, but not really free cause we paid for membership, and how this audio was originally meant to be used as a Shut Up! intro but it wasn’t that funny, all while Ian is saying this you can hear Anthony laughing behind the camera]

Just another example of the fact that Ian is the funniest person to Anthony ☺️

Would You Push This Button? & MrBeast Copycat Watch Party

Of course to go along with the Would You Push This Button? sketch we also got the watch party livestream, along with them reacting to the previous sketch MrBeast Copycats Have Gone Too Far that they had missed.

-

[Earlier in the video Ian guesses that Apollo 17 was the last time humans set foot on the moon]

Ian: [reads chat comment] “Oh, I was right with Apollo 17.”

Anthony: “Damn! How did you know Apollo 17?”

Ian: “Just a good guess, I guess.”

Wee compliment from Anthony 😊

-

Chat comment: ‘What’s the latest soup Ian’s learned to make?’

Ian: “The last one that I learned to make was the African Peanut Stew.”

Anthony: “Oh yeah, that one sounds so good.”

Ian: “So good.”

Anthony: “I was like is that shit vegan?”

Ian: “It was so good- yeah, yeah, it’s vegan.”

Anthony: “Yeah, we got to make that one. We got to make that one next.”

Aw, soup boy’s assistant is wanting to get back in the kitchen with him 🥹

-

[Boys do a quiz to find out which Bratz doll they are]

Q: ‘What is a personal flaw that your friends accept you for?’

Anthony: “Probably shy and awkward. That’s true.”

Erin: “Do you agree, Ian?”

Anthony: [looks at Ian] “Do you accept me for that?”

Ian: “I accept you for that.”

Anthony: “Okay, thank you.”

Just a cute little one 😝

-

[Ian taking the quiz]

Q: ‘Pick a fashion icon’

Ian: “I think I’m a Bianca Jagger.”

Anthony: “Sure. That feels right.”

Another little compliment from Anthony cause why not ✨

-

Q: ‘What’s your favourite relic from the 2000s?’

Ian: “I’m going to do [sings] being young, carefree and stupid.”

Anthony: “That was mine too.”

#twinning #justbestiethings

-

Q: ‘Which y2k fragrance did you have/would you have on your vanity tray?’

Ian: “I am definitely Princess by Vera Wang.”

Anthony: “Yep. That sounds right.”

Just Anthony agreeing that Ian is a princess 👑

-

Ian: [on the personal flaw question] “I feel like I’m all of these things.”

Anthony: “You’re a drama queen…”

Ian: “I think my honesty can be harsh. I think- actually I can’t be wild.”

Anthony: “You’ve been wild.”

Ian: “I am a drama queen.”

Anthony: “When are you a drama queen?”

Ian: “I feel like I can be a catty little bitch sometimes.”

Anthony: “But that’s not a drama queen.”

Ian: “Like I love drama. Like whenever I hear that there’s a problem I’m like [rubs hands together] ‘alright, let’s go’.”

Anthony: “Yeah, but I feel like drama queens are also like in the drama.”

Erin: “He’s a little dramatic.”

Anthony: “Is he in the drama though?”

Erin: “I would say so.”

Ian: [laughs]

Anthony: “I feel like he observes it and talks about it.”

Ian: “Sometimes I can be the drama. No, I don’t think I’m- I love hearing other people’s drama…”

Anthony: “Yeah.”

Ian: “But I feel like sometimes my honesty can be harsh.”

Anthony: “Sure, sure.”

Ian: “Sometimes I, you know, like sometimes there’s things that just don’t need to be said.”

Anthony: [laughs] “And you used to have no filter.”

Ian: “Sometimes I say it, I think I’ve gotten a little bit better, where I’ll be like, ‘I- never mind’.”

Anthony: “Yeah, yeah. I accept you for it.”

Ian: “Okay.”

Anthony: “I’ve grown to accept it. I used to be very sensitive.”

Love how this started off as something silly but turned into a genuine compliment by the end of it.

-

[Ian gets Jade as his answer]

Ian: [reading answer description] “…bold and thinks outside of the box or just someone who’s wild at heart.”

Anthony: “I could see wild at heart.”

Just a little mini compliment from Anthony there

…

Anthony: [reads chat comment and laughs] “Why is Ian on such a high from getting Jade over Anthony getting Jade?” [Anthony really wanted Jade as his answer as the crew said that’s who he was like]

Ian: Umm, I just didn’t think I was cool, man.”

Anthony: “Dude, you’re cool, Ian.” [pats chest] “You gotta have a little confidence, man.”

A double compliment from Anthony in this little section, you love to see it!

-

[reacting to the MrBeast sketch]

Anthony: “Yeah, that one was good. Your Mr Beast character, you fucking killed it, man. And going into the horror mode at the end [of the video] was great.”

It’s been a very heavy Anthony complimenting Ian livestream as you can probably tell 😅 not that I’m complaining!

-

[reacting to the Button sketch]

Ian: [talking about his Mormon character’s wig] “Wow, the blonde really brings out my eyes.”

Anthony: “Yeah, it looks really good.”

We do know Anthony loves Ian’s blue eyes 😉

-

[Ian dressed as a woman in the sketch]

Anthony: “Your lipstick is poppin’!”

Just another complimentary moment I wanted to include 😄

-

Chat comment: ‘Ian plays the mother so well it’s scary’

Ian: “That’s because I am mother.”

Anthony: “Ian is mother.”

👀 Okay, Anthony…

And that was it for this livestream!

Making Of “Grimace: Where Is He Now?”

The BTS of the Grimace: Where Is He Now? sketch gave us a couple little moments, not necessarily compliments, but wanted to include them nonetheless :-

-

First was this moment where Ian and Anthony are looking at each other through a door covered with fake police tape and they reach through and touch each other’s hands.

(As usual sorry for the terrible gif quality, I tried 🫣)

But yeah, thought this was cute so wanted to make it part of this post 😊

-

And the other moment I wanted to include was as they were doing the outro to the video :-

Anthony: “Why do we need a fog machine when we have…”

[both Ian and Anthony blow out of their mouths so you can see their breath in the cold air]

Ian: “Wow, I don’t know if that looked cool on camera but…”

Anthony: “Felt cool.”

And then of course, gotta include one of their signature moves…

The high-five!

There’s A Werewolf Among Us…

So the boys joined in on this Games video along with Courtney, Arasha, Spencer, Chanse and Trevor where they played Werewolf, in which one person is the werewolf and they have kill off other players without being discovered.

-

[Arasha brings up how she used to play it when it was called Mafia and the others joke around saying that it’s no longer called that because it’s offensive to Italian-Americans]

Courtney: “Angela actually held up a sign in the front of the building, she was like - ‘Please stop’.”

Ian: “Yeah, she picketed us.”

Anthony: “She’s on strike for the day.”

Ian: [laughs] “She’s on strike.”

Love when the shoe is on the other foot and it’s Ian finding Anthony funny, always very cute ☺️

-

[Everyone saying they think it’s Ian]

Chanse: “I was gonna say, I think I thought it was Anthony, but I’ve changed my mind.”

Ian: “Well, I mean, I would say I trust you two [Anthony and Chanse] ‘cause you didn’t immediately just go along with it. If you were the werewolf you would have immediately just motioned to vote because you’re like, yeah, let’s kill another villager.”

Trevor: “Or maybe they’re trying to hide it…”

Ian: “No.”

Trevor: “Because they already had someone second it. So why would they jump immediately?”

Ian: “Right, but they would need to be to jump in.”

Anthony: “Or maybe there’s no information to even go off of in the first round.”

Chanse: “I nominate Ian.”

Trevor: “Yeah. Vote time?”

Spencer: “Unfortunately, Ian.”

Ian: “All right, I’m just…”

Spencer: “You have made your case.”

Ian: “Okay, all right.”

Spencer: “And it’s vote time.”

Ian: “I think Anthony’s safe. I don’t trust anyone else.”

It’s sweet how Ian says Anthony’s the only one he trusts here as everyone besides Anthony is saying they think Ian is the werewolf. It’s also doubly sweet when you think about the fact that Anthony actually was the werewolf this round and yet, he was the only one Ian trusted 🥺

-

[Arasha making her case for the werewolf not to kill her]

Anthony: “Why are you giving werewolf tips?”

Courtney: “She’s plugging all the holes.”

Ian: [puts hands up] “I am nominating Arasha [as the werewolf].”

Anthony: [puts hand up] “I am nominating Arasha as well.”

I love when they just follow what each other’s doing 😌

-

[Anthony’s character dies]

Trevor: [going to raise his hand but backing down and everyone asking what he was going to say] “I just wanted to do it again. I was gonna do it again, where I just make a blatant accusation for no reason.”

Courtney: “It is good, though, for the plot.”

Chanse: “It starts shit.”

Trevor: [puts hand up] “All right, I think it’s Ian.”

Courtney: “The werewolf?”

Trevor: “Yeah.”

Spencer: “All right, does anyone wanna second that?”

Ian: “I think that’s a terrible decision.”

Trevor: “No, not necessarily nominating, I just would like to, you know, cast some doubt upon his character.”

Spencer: “Gosh darn.”

Courtney: “Yeah.” [points at Ian] “You like wolves!”

Ian: “I don’t like wolves.”

Trevor: “You would kill Anthony.”

Ian: [makes a sad/unhappy face]

Trevor: “You would. You hater.”

Ian: “What do you mean I would kill Anthony?”

Trevor: “You’re trying to, like oh, I would never kill my best friend. Oooh.”

Ian: “I never-”

Chanse: “He’s trying to start shit.”

Courtney: [laughing]

Trevor: “See? See? Ian’s like, ooh, they won’t think it’s me because I would never kill my best friend.”

Ian: “This guy talks too much.”

Anthony: [laughs]

Loved this moment, especially how not happy Ian was with the accusation that he would kill Anthony, even in a game. And of course can never resist when it’s brought up that they’re best friends. Also loved how Anthony didn’t say anything and only laughed at what Ian said - the bestie-ism was shining through! 👯‍♂️

And that was it for this video!

-

With that, that brings us to end of the compliments for February 2024! A shorter one as I said but hope you all still enjoyed 😊

Thanks for reading and I shall see you next time! 🫶

#so happy to FINALLY have this out to you guys #massive apologies for being mia for so long I’m going go try and be better #hugely appreciate everyone’s patience though I’m very grateful for that #ianthony #ianthony compliments #ian hecox #anthony padilla #smosh #my posts

[phoenixkaptain]

Luke Skywalker being Darth Vader’s son continues to be the funniest punchline of all time.

Like, you have Luke. Luke who grew up as a farmboy and is now a Jedi. Okay, that’s great. He’s powerful, but he doesn’t actually flaunt his power to try and scare people. He tries to intimidate people, occasionally, but always with his lightsaber, because he is the shortest human man in the series.

This is Darth Vader’s son! This is the son of the man who choked people just because he could! This is the offspring of the man who could defeat entire armies songlehandedly! Luke Skywalker is his son! Luke! Skywalker!

Luke Skywalker, who begins the series by making the very impulsive, reckless decision to save a woman he has never met and does not know, simply because he got irrationally attached to her after seeing the message she sent to someone other than him! Luke Skywalker, whose plans almost always go:

Step One: run in

Step Two: ???

Step Three: profit

Like, Mara finding out Luke Skywalker is Darth Vader’s son is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. She has threatened to murder this man innumerous times, and he continues to trust her and even save her life! He praises her for getting impatient and stabbing something because she multitasked! He says “I’m going to comfort my droid” and then literally actually comforts his droid! And this! This is the man Darth Vader somehow fathered!

Any character finding out is literally so fucking funny! When he tells Leia, she’s immediately like “No! You don’t have to face your father! You can run! Why would you want to face your father??? He cut off your hand!!!” The Noghri who meet Luke and find out he is the son of Lord Vader only believe him because they can smell it. Otherwise, with how chill he is, I wouldn’t believe him either!

What was Han’s reaction? Lando’s? Chewbacca’s?? I want to see literally everyone react to the fact that the tiny wizard boy is the son of one of the most prolific killers in the entire galaxy! It’s! So! Comedic!

Imagine Ahsoka’s reaction??? Rex’s??? Din’s??? Like, no matter what character you imagine, it is impossibly funny to imagine how they would react to the news!

TLDR: Luke’s parentage is the funniest joke in the entire galaxy and you canNOT convince me otherwise

#luke skywalker #star wars #star wars original trilogy #star wars novels #thrawn trilogy #leia organa #mara jade #darth vader #anakin skywalker #mara’s reaction is truly the funniest #‘who’s this son of lord vader’s you’ve been talking about?’ #is sitting next to the son of lord vader’s they’ve been talking about #the inane ramblings of a madman

[oliviartist]

mutual appreciation hours

@david-goldrock You are genuinely one of the funniest people I know and your always willing to crack a joke with me your extremely tolerant of me ( weather I’m annoying you or being stupid 😆) but we have a lot of fun together and I am officially adopting you as my little bro wetter you like it or not 

@floralcavern you are the first mutual I have ever had who actually who is willing to talk to me and didn’t just fallow me because I reblog like a madman you are also the first Christian I’ve meet on this app and I’m extremely grateful we’ve meet ( and without you I wouldn’t have met anyone else)

@mikewheelerfan2022 I know we never talk much but we we do it’s always a joy Your so funny and it’s nice to have an amazing friend like you 

@imnotkosmic first off you are the first person who I’ve meet from Australia and you are just so kind you are willing to listen to me rambling and when I suggested you something you actually read it I’m really glad I’ve meet you it’s also amazing to have an artist friend 

@morganas-simp you are just something idk what to say about you your funny smart wise kind just everything I literally have never meet someone else like you and that’s a good thing 

@Randomnumber22 ok first off a persona fan on my blog who would of guess but jk you are so funny and every time we talk it’s a joy weather it’s about the goodiest boi koro chan or the little red beanie boo who’s name I totally remember it’s always so fun to chat and I’m extremely grateful that we meet 

@felurfay we haven’t been mutuals for that long but for the amount of time we have been It’s been a joy you are never short on wisdom and I’m really glad we’ve meet

@shinekocreator you are so kind always sending me pictures of the kittys and telling me about your home country ( yes I know the others do that to but you do it differently idk how but you do ) you are never one to shy away from something you are also wise Beyond your years and if we ever meet irl you are taking me to those restaurants 

@loki-god-of-mischief-13 we rarely talk but you are always willing to stand up for why you believe in ( even if we don’t see eye to eye ) and that is extremely admirable and not every person including myself could say that 

@casavanse once again we barely talk but when we do it’s extremely fun and Although we never interact I’m extremely grateful to call you a friend 

@arunswild we probably interact the least but when we do it’s so much fun and I hope to build a stronger friendship with you in the future 

#Idk why I dealt the need to do this but I just did #Yes it’s 10 pm and I’m procrastinating doing my final project why do you ask

[i-trash-about-things]

a.n.: I can't believe this took me 6 freaking months to write. It definitely doesn't live up for the hype, but for some reason the words just wouldn't flow. In the mean time, I graduated! Actually went to prom! It kinda sucked, I really don't see the hype behind it!

Anyway, enjoy– and thank you for the patience to those that were interested in this story. If you're still interested by the end of this part– well, you'll know for yourself if there will be more lol ;)

Multiple perspectives (3rd and 1st person); Henderson!Reader; GN!Reader; use of Y/N; Billy Hargrove Survived (but he isn't a racist piece of shit); Everyone might be OOC, sorry lol; swearing; light violence; mostly fluff; English is not my first language! Sorry if something doesn’t make sense :p; no beta, we die like Vecna should’ve

4.5k words.

Third Time's The Charm.

Dustin’s day has been good, in his less than humble opinion.

School sucked the same as always, but hey! Everything other than that was actually pretty awesome!

His older sibling popping by on a whim wasn’t a rare occasion, far from it. When they first moved to college, he cried the whole day thinking he would only see them on Christmas, and now it’s like they never moved in the first place!

Well, maybe it’s because of the Upside Down thing and how they almost died about a million times in the last 4 years, but Dustin liked to believe it’s because they just love him very very much.

But, one thing actually did change.

Eddie.

“Dustin, my man, my favorite nerd, what a sight to the sore eye you are right now!”

Speak of the devil.

Him and Eddie have known each other for a while. I mean, how could he not when the metal-head has been his sibling's best friend for almost all his life?

And with the time to get used to each other, plus Dustin’s natural attentiveness and attention to detail, he can read this guy like the cheap rip-off comic of spider-man he is.

Eddie wants something.

“Is that a new upgrade to your walkie? Dude, that looks sick, what does it do?”

“Nothing, it’s just a normal radio actually.”

“Oh.”

A snort leaves his nose. Dustin shakes his head, setting the walkie talkie on the library table before looking up to his friend.

“You really aren’t subtle, my friend.”

“First things first: how dare you. Secondly-” Eddie pushes the nearest chair back, giving him enough space to sit on the old table. The notebook under him crinkles, but he just pushes it aside, clearly in too much of a rush to care about a random person’s notes. “I need your help.”

“If it’s about the whipped cream on Lucas’ backpack and his basketball shoes, it’s too late. The operation is already in motion.”

“Operation- wait, did you put whipped cream on Sinclair’s shoes?”

“What? No I didn’t. You didn’t hear that from me.”

“Mhm.” Eddie just sends Dustin a look, raising an eyebrow with just a very done expression on his eyes, before shaking his head. “You know what, I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear anything.”

He leans closer, likes he’s about to tell the biggest secret of his life. The notes beneath his butt crumble further.

“It’s about your sibling.”

“Y/N? What they have to do with anything?”

“I’m gonna ask 'em to prom.”

If Dustin were drinking something, he would’ve done a spit take right now.

“WHAT?!”

“SHHHH!” The other school library attendees shush him, all glaring in their direction. Dustin flushes a little, curling into himself, but Eddie doesn’t even flinch.

“I want to take your older sibling to prom, Henderson. Like, real bad.”

“Dude!”

“What?!”

“That’s my sibling!”

“And my best friend! So??”

“So–” Dustin sputters. How does he even respond to that?!

Don’t get him wrong, of all the people he could’ve picked to compete for your hand, Eddie would always be his champion. His two favorite people??? Sign him up!

Doesn’t mean his into it, tho!

“Why?!”

“What do you mean ‘why’?! You’ve ever met ‘em?! They're the coolest most beautiful, and funniest person I’ve ever known! Why wouldn’t I want to take them to prom?”

“No, not that- why the change? I thought you wanted to go with Chrissy??”

That gets a reaction out of him.

Eddie flinches, looking away. He passes a hand through his hair, half hiding himself beneath the brown curls.

“Chrissy… She’s…”

Dustin does not like the hesitation. The kid crosses his arms over his chest, squinting up at Eddie with distrust.

“Look, I’m all for you going after my big sibling–”

“Really? That wasn’t what it looked like two seconds ago.”

Dustin squints further, frowning, and Eddie groans.

“Just keep going.”

“As I was saying, I don’t mind you taking my big sibling to prom… If you actually mean it.”

It’s his turn to frown, a mirror of Dustin’s expression, but in confusion and a little bit of offense.

“What? Why wouldn’t I mean it?”

“You were just drooling over Chrissy, like, two days ago! I get you getting rejected, but don’t use them as a rebound, dude!”

“What?!”

“SHHHHH!” Strike two, the people around them shush them both again. Dustin doesn’t flinch this time, both him and Eddie a bit too enthralled in the topic at hand.

“How could you say that?! You know how much I care about Y/N!”

“I know that, but I also know how much they cares about you.”

“What does that has to do with anything?”

“Uh- Literally everything? What, you think you can just go and ask them all willy nilly to go to prom with you like it’s no big deal, and they won’t feel like it’s a big deal? Thye care, dude! What you say matters to them!”

Something in that makes Eddie pause, breath hitching on the tip of his tongue. He knew that, of course… Didn’t he?

His mind flashes back to the three years ago, just in the middle of prom season.

“Y/N Henderson, you did not–”

“Oh but I did! I did, despite it all!”

Eddie feels the bright afternoon sun on his back, the ever warming spring air making his hair and their hair flutter in the wind.

Today has been a weird day. His friends all seemed either jittery or smug, like they know something he doesn’t, a joke he didn’t get the punchline yet.

But the weirdest thing? His best friend wasn’t waiting for him by his parking spot.

At the end of class, he found a pretty envelope on his locker, attached to it a blue little flower– one of the few he recognizes. Forget-me-not’s.

“6 years sure go by fast. We’ve been through a lot in that time, didn’t we? And we will go through a lot more shit, knowing us like I do.

I was hoping you’d indulge me on a little game, just for old times sake.

Check the supply closet closest to you.”

From then on, he went on a surprisingly elaborate scavenger hunt. Passing through closets, to bathrooms, even checking in with his friends when the little clues told him to. Surely enough, each one handed him a new letter, and each one had a soft and excited smile on their lips.

After a good half hour of running around the school like a headless chicken, Eddie had accumulated enough clues to fill both his pockets and enough flowers for a small bouquet. The last letter sits on his hand as he dashes around the halls, a big smile on his lips.

“Ok, I promise this is the last one– for real this time, I swear.

This had been a rough year on you, but I was hoping to send it off with a bang. One last middle finger to the world before I have to leave you behind to fend for yourself in the lion’s den.

So, Edward Munson, meet me by the woods, in our usual spot.”

“Henderson, you absolute maniac!” Eddie all but jumps over the picnic table, practically throwing himself on his best friends arms. They don't even blink, only opening up and holding him. Firm, steady and warm. Their laughter feels like electricity and care all at once over his skin, and he breaks into goosebumps.

“Did you like it? Had any fun?”

“Hell yeah I did! How long have you been planning this, dude?!”

“Ah, who cares about that?” They flick their wrist, like trying to get rid of an annoying fly. Eddie’s way too used to their dismissive and nonchalant nature at this point, so he just laughs and hugs them close again.

“Jesus Christ, Henderson, what did I ever do to deserve you?”

He can’t see, but their smile softens. The hold on him tightens, and they buries their face into the mess of his hair.

“You’re you. That’s more than enough.”

After a beat, they finally pull away from the other. Eddie doesn’t even questions at their dazed gaze, used to it at this point, even if he never truly knew the reason behind it. He squeezes their shoulders, still a little incredulous at the situation. Taking his little moment of silence as an opportunity, Y/N steps back and takes one last flower from their pocket. It’s a little bit beaten up after being squashed in the hug, but it makes Eddie’s heart feel tight anyway.

“Look, I know this hasn’t been an easy year for you. You’ve been through a lot of shit, dealing with shitheads like Carver and Hagan, and that you didn’t graduate, but… But I wanted to make the end a good memory, you know? Eat junk food, dress fancy for once in our lives, pretend that we’re the protagonists for once, you know?”

They take a deep breath, eyes locked on the little flower on their hand. It’s impossible to lift their head and finally gaze into the eyes of their best friend. The love of their life.

Bah, call 'em dramatic. They're already way too deep into this cheesy bullshit to care.

“So. Eddie. Eds. Angel. Would… You, maybe… Like to… Gotopromwithme??”

Well that was smooth.

Still, it doesn’t seem like he cares about their awkward stumbling.

Instead, he just pulls them into one more hug, laughing like a maniac.

“Yes! Of course I’d like to, you dumbass! You’re my best friend!”

And those words make their heart races and breaks, all at once.

They let the little blue flower fall to the ground, unbothered by the numbness on their fingertips.

“I know. You’re my best friend too, Eds.”

Eddie shakes his head, locks brushing against his nose at the intensity. This is a crisis for another time.

“I know, believe me. But I’m telling the truth! I don’t care about Chrissy, I legitimately want them to be my date!”

Dustin raises an eyebrow, feeling the genuine longing in Eddie’s tone. It’s a surprising match to his siblings, every time they talks about Eddie. That lingering bitter-sweetness in the end of the sentence, the longing in each and every word. He’s heard them rant and ramble, on and on, about the metal-head more time than Dustin feels like counting, he knows that tone. It’s a perfect match.

So, he sighs, leaning his head back against the library’s chair to the point his cap almost falls off.

“Fine, I’ll help.”

“Yes!”

“SHHHHH!”

…

Today was… Weird.

Maybe it was the way the sun was beating down my face, too hot for a spring day, maybe it was the fact that the 7-11 I passed by didn’t have my favorite slushy flavor, but something just seemed… A little off today. Like someone just tilted the world a little bit to the left.

I take a long drag from the cigarette between my lips, watching the shining sun from my spot by my car. Sitting beside me is none other than Billy Hargrove, the same glare up at the sky as mine.

It’s always funny hanging out with Billy by the school’s grounds. We used to beat each other up in this same parking lot, about two years ago! And now look at us, sharing a can of coke beneath the spring sky like two dads waiting for their kids after football practice.

“I can hear your brain about to cook up some weird shit to say, Henderson. Please keep it to yourself.”

I don’t even blink at his harsh tone, putting a sugary sweet expression and leaning to lay my head on his shoulder.

“Awn, I know you love my commentary.”

He’s quick to brush me off, with not nearly as much strength as he used to a few years ago.

“I’d rather hear the screams of children.”

All I can do is snort, laughing slightly before taking a sip of the can between us.

Billy is one of the only people acting somewhat normal today, same snarky responses that once made me lunge for his throat and same pissed off frown.

He’s also one of the few people I trust the most, funnily enough. What can I say, he’s seen the worst in me and somehow still sticks around- probably because I’ve seen the worst in him too, but still. Maybe that trust is what made me press the halfway burnt cigarette into the ground and turn to look back at him.

“Hey, dude?”

“Hm.”

“Is it just me or is everyone kinda off today?”

And to my surprise, he doesn’t immediately respond. Instead, he raised his own cigarette to his lips, taking a long and deep drag.

“Nope, just you.”

“Pfft, weird, something tells me your lying?”

“Something? What, like voices in your head? Damn, I knew you were crazy, Henderson, but this is new ground.”

“Billy.”

“… Hmph.”

He stuffs his hands in his jeans pockets, sunglasses tilting down just enough to see the look he sends me. I shake my head and he relaxes. There’s a small pause after that. He flicks the cigarette ash off, before glancing to me again.

“Look, it’s nothing you have to worry about, ok?”

I can’t help but chuckle at his words, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Last time you said that, you were possessed by a god damned spider monster thing.”

“Yeah, but this time I’m not. So chill out.”

Isn’t he sweet?

I chew on the inside of my cheek, breathing in slowly before letting out a long long sigh.

“Fine.” A pause. But then I turn to look at him again, with the most serious expression I can. “But if you are possessed again-”

“Fuck off.”

“Pfft-”

The loud ringing of the school bell quickly brings our attention back to the front doors of Hawkins High. Like clockwork, they open and the sea of teenagers roll out, flooding the parking lot. My eyes drift between faces, looking for any sign of my favorite club, but the first thing I catch is a familiar cap and a mess of red hair.

Dustin immediately runs up to me, his cap hitting me on his attempt at a dive hug. Max is not so far from him, but instead of the affection attack she just flips Billy the bird… which he quickly reciprocates, smirking.

The two types of siblings.

“Hey, Junior.” The sarcastic and rougher edge to my voice quickly melts off, turning to the normally sweeter and more relaxed tone reserved only for my little brother. Dustin immediately turns to me, smiling like he always does- but, of course, there’s something off.

“Hello there, older sibling figure.”

… ok.

I just let out a chuckle, a little weirded out. See? It can’t be just me, everyone’s acting all skittish for some reason. Did I miss the memo?

Max pushes Dustin’s cap over his eyes before he has the chance open his mouth again, her eyes literally screaming for him to shut up. Then, she turns to me.

“If he hurts you, tell me. I’ll kick his ass.”

“… What???”

The hell’s going on?

Dustin clears his throat, pushing his hat back and sending Max a half hearted glare.

“As I was about to say- Eddie told me to give you this.”

From the depths of his many pockets, he pulls a… letter? A note, better said, scribbled in a chicken scratch of a writing I know way too well.

Before I can open it, he quickly pulls me so I look at him again.

“I’m gonna catch a ride with Max today I’ll see you later ok bye-”

And he practically drags Max to Billy’s car… which she weirdly let’s him do. I look back at the blonde next to me… and he doesn’t even blink at the interaction, stepping on the rests of his cigarette before turning away from me without a word.

What…. the hell.

As the familiar camaro drives off the parking lot, leaving me to my lonesome by my truck, I glance down at the note in my hands. Crumpled notebook paper, with the little bits used to wrap around the spiral still attached, and that familiar handwriting.

After a huff of amusement, I open up the letter.

“Greetings, dear adventurer! It is I, Eddie the Pardoned (we really need to workshop that title).

This is your formal request to join in on an adventure through the ever changing land of Hawkins High school. Walk across the mighty and dangerous hallways where jocks once slammed our faces into lockers, or traverse into the terrifying lands we call the gym showers!

Follow the riddles and clues, and if you’re lucky, the gates of a whole new adventure shall open to those with brave and worthy hearts.

Good luck.”

“Dramatic dork.” I mumble beneath my breath, but the smile on my lips can only be described as disgustingly smitten.

I look over the note again, flipping it between my fingers. Surely enough, more writing in the back.

“Those who trail my path are the best liars, but also the most emotional of artists. The many nights you’ve spent between my walls, you were never quite yourself. Oh, wow, he really wasn’t kidding on making riddles, huh?”

I can’t help but let out a chuckle, raising my eyes from the paper in my hands and looking around the parking lot. There’s a lot of people walking around right now, most speeding to get home after a long long Friday, but my eyes don’t catch a single hint of anyone using the familiar Hellfire shirt. Which is definitely weird, they’re normally the first ones to leave the school. Still, no sign of Jeff, or Bryan, or Gareth, much less Ed.

I look back down to the riddle.

“The many nights you’ve spent between my walls” So it’s a place, then? One I’ve been before, if Eddie isn’t being a little shit and using “you” because he thinks it sounds better.

“Those who trail my path are the greatest liars, but most emotional of artists.” Greatest liars? And most emotional of artists. Well, if it’s a place, related to art, then the art room? But then why the lying?

“You weren’t quite yourself.” Wasn’t… quite myself. Hm.

A place, probably one at school since I doubt he would’ve gone so extra as to go around the entire city, related to art and lying. “Wasn’t quite yourself.”

…

Wait, the drama club?

Art of lying- could he mean acting? A room related to acting in which I’ve been to before.

The drama club, at D&D nights!

My feet are moving before my brain is, crumpled up note being carefully stuffed into my pants pockets.

…

Not far…

“The bird has taken flight, over.”

“Dustin, will you stop with the codenames?! Just- Just get into position! Over!”

…

How many damn riddles can this man write??? I must’ve collected more than twelve by now!

There’s a small collection of notes in my left hand, my pockets too filled up to stuff any more of them without damaging. My shoes squeak against the floors of the mostly empty school, echoing in my ears as I run from room to room, classroom to classroom.

I swear, If this is some sort of elaborate prank, I’m going to kick Eddie’s ass until Halloween comes.

I let out a groan leaning down to reach another, stuck beneath my– well, not mine, it hasn’t been mine since I graduated– seat at the iconic Hellfire Club lunch table. When I turn to the back, I’m surprised to see there isn’t a riddle this time, no little set of verses to greet me. So, after a small hum of interest, I fold it open.

“If you’ve reached this point of your quest, fair knight, I’m proud to tell you your prize awaits you! (Because I’m not like SOME people who do FAKE OUTS THREE TIMES IN A ROLL)

All that’s left is for you to come and get it. Your king awaits in our usual spot.”

-E.M.

“Pfft– my king?” I can barely pay attention to the soft laugh that leaves my lips, chest too warm and filled with cotton to notice. Dork.

Still, I just set the note with the rest, walking to the nearest exit with a smile on my lips.

I’m still have no idea what Eddie is planning with all of this. Despite the dozen plus notes, he hasn’t gave me a single of hint for the reason of this scavenger… Hunt.

…wait.

I mean, it’s not– it’s not possible, right?

He was talking about inviting Chrissy less than a week ago!

Nah, nah, yeah, it’s not… He wouldn’t. Not me, anyway.

…

Well I just made myself sad.

A groan leaves my lips as I shake my head, hair flowing around with the motion before bouncing and stopping, strands sticking to my eyelashes. Enough with the self pity. I’m better than this. Whatever it is that Eddie has planned to me is going to be awesome.

The hallways echoes with my steps, the sound of my combat boots squeaking in the shiny tile flooring being the only sound as I leave the school. It’s late afternoon at this point, the sun starting to set as everything is painted golden. The walk through the woods is longer than I remember, the late spring wind ruffling through my clothes. After a while, I’m reaching the clearing…

And there’s no one here…?

“Eddie?” I spin in place, looking in between the trees for any sign of the silhouette I know better than my own. It’s quiet here, with the exception of the singing birds and early crickets. I stuff my hands in my pockets, and my brows twitch in worry. “Did I take too long…?”

When I pull them back, one of them holds the last hint. It’s impossible to be anywhere else– he literally said our usual spot, and this is it, isn’t it? Unless my first suspicion was right, and he really meant to spread these around the town– wait, no, then why would he set them up around school? What am I m–

“BOO– OW!”

“EDDIE?!”

My knuckles sting, heart beating louder than a drum as I stare at my fallen best friend, cradling his own face. Immediately I reach for him, falling to my knees by his side.

“Jesus Christ, Munson, you scared the shit out of me! I’m so sorry– Oh, god dammit, sweetheart, c’mere, c'mere… Let me see…” I gently tug his hands from his face, touches practically feather light and with as much care as I can channel. He laughs all the while, completely unbothered by the forming bruise on his cheek.

“Jesus Christ, Henderson– You pack quite the punch! Holy crap, I think you dislocated my jaw–”

“Stop saying shit like that, you’ll manifest it.” I chuckle under my breath (but do check his jaw, making sure everything is in place and I didn’t punch one of his teeth in.). “Why the hell you sneaked up on me like that? What thought process made you think that was a good idea??”

“I don’t know!” He laughs, falling limp on the grass while looking up at me. His smile is almost dopey, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he said he just got baked. He doesn’t smell like weed, tho. Just smoke and cologne, the one that makes me wish I could bury my nose into his neck and just live there. “I thought it’d be a good idea? All I needed to do was distract you for a little while!”

“Distract me?” I snort, brows tilting in a playful frown. “From what?”

“Shit–” And at the sound of my brother’s cursing, I lift my eyes from my best friend’s face.

What do I find if not the rest of the Hellfire club, haphazardly stacked on each other’s shoulders putting up a huge banner on the branches of the nearest threes. Jeff has Mike on his shoulders, while Bryan has Justin– and Lucas and Gareth watch a few steps away, clearly trying to not bring attention to themselves as I turn to them.

“Michael, if you ruin my jacket with your dirty ass shoes–”

“I’m trying not to! Stop moving!”

“Guys! Guys, I’m gonna fall! BRYAN–”

“You’re not gonna fall, Dustbin– stop being a pussy and just tie the goddamn thing.”

“What the hell…?” I mumble, even more confused than when I found the kids sneaking Eleven into Mike’s basement.

Eddie doesn’t answer me with anything but a cackle, getting up to his feet and jogging up to the rest of the club. His grin is so wide his dimples are lost between smile lines, brown eyes shining in the late afternoon sun that warms my skin and cheeks. He skids to a stop under the banner, not even waiting to check if it’s tied up properly before tugging the bottom and unrolling it.

‘COME DITCH PROM WITH THIS FREAK?’

And the arrows badly painted on the bottom point directly at him, that turns around to beam my way with his smile brighter than the sun.

…

I don’t know if the guys have fallen silent or if I just gone deaf, but I don’t have the mental power to look. It’s like the whole world turned… quiet.

My heart can’t seem to choose between skipping beats or skidding to stop. I can feel my skin tingling, my knuckles going from stinging to burning. As does the back of my neck and the bottom of my gut.

I read the words, over and over again, shocked…

“Is this…” My tongue feels like it’s knotted, tied and shipped to the other side of the country. No words could ever describe– whatever the hell I’m feeling right now. “Are you… Is– Are you for real??”

“Yeah.” He chuckles, the warm orange lighting almost making it look like his cheeks are dyed a soft red. His smile is confident, almost cocky and playful as he looks down at me. “As real as a I can be.”

My mouth feels drier than a desert, and I swallow harshly. I can’t turn my eyes from him, like I’m transfixed… which, in someways, I am.

He has hypnotized me, a puppet on his strings.

I feel starstruck.

Eddie takes my silent as a go ahead, because after standing under the banner for a second, he slowly walks to me again. For some reason, I don’t even think to get back on my feet until he’s almost right in front of me, his head obscuring the sun as if he’s the only star I need.

“Henderson,” He says, the smirk on his lips almost sheepish. “I’ve got to apologize. I’ve been… kind of a shit best friend for the last couple years. You’ve been my paladin, my white knight, the voice of reason when I wasn’t thinking and I didn’t even thank you properly.”

He extends his hand, the black stone in his ring finger catching the sunlight from his smile.

“So let me make it up to you… Will you let me take you with me to not-prom?”

My throat closes up, my eyes sting, but my smile is as bright as the moon.

“Yeah, I will.”

And I take his hand, letting him pull me to my feet.

taglist! @eddiesgirlforever @plk-18 thx for the support and the patience!! :D

#eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #HD&SC #god it took me SO LONG to write this! #six months! #jesus! #hopefully next part will be easier #although it will DEFINITELY be the longest but no spoilers #on other news #i edited this while high on cold medicine and in great pain from cramps #sorry if something doesn't make sense #eddie munson #trash's writing tag o/

[cakeboxie]

Oh I got a really good kinktober request and I’m gonna ramble abt a related idea I had.

Characters involved(separate): neuvillette, dan heng il

Also tw: talk of dubcon and noncon separately

The req was dom amab reader w a fuck ton of different possible kinks/characters and I am, going insane ty anon if you see this.

Dubcon idea // neuvillette:

So I support the hc that neuvillette has a pretty low libido bc reptiles only rlly have sex to mate. Despite female snakes not having one, but 2 clits (which is the funniest shit I’ve read in a while btw) while pretty much every mammal ever fucks whenever it’s safe to do so even if it’s literally impossible to get pregnant, and like realistically this man is far too intelligent to be taken advantage of like that.

But. I’m thinking abt him being aware of fucking for pleasure as a thing that humans do, but not like really understand why? And reader instead of explaining it in any healthy way they just fuck him over his desk until he understands. He’s not used to bottoming but he’s begging you to keep going even though it doesn’t really feel good (yet) but he wants to know more about humans and you know a lot so who is he to not accept the help!

Non con idea // dan heng il:

Playing with his horns in his sleep until he’s hard and then waking him up by sitting on his dick(s) and just gently shushing him when he wakes up <3 his sleepy brain can’t find the words to say that he had another nightmare about blade and needs to be comforted so he just whimpers and cries until he cums and if he asks you just go “👉👈 but you didn’t ask me to stop.” (He was trying to)

Oh also if it turns out neuvie is an otter I’m taking that as my green light to write the most vile porn bc reptiles don’t rlly bone for fun, but otters will fuck anything they can cram their dick into.

#pvbbysmut #dan heng smut #neuvillette smut #dan heng #neuvillette #pvbbyevents { Kinktober 2023 }

[papirouge]

I gave up on being pro life publicly and online. The genocide in the Congo and in Gaza have proved it to me that many western women who run those pro life accounts don’t care for children. Many babies have been lost due to hospital bombings. More children are displaced with no families.

I’ve tried reaching out when they talk about saving children in generic posts because very real babies are losing their lives by IDF terrorism. And I get blocked or I get told “that’s different/ they’re Muslim/they should have left already/I don’t care” over and over and over again. The countless videos are already out that have children begging and crying for their families they lost or the homes that can’t be saved. Some of the worst messages I read criticized and blame the Palestinian men too that they should be protecting the kids, so when they die, it’s actually Palestinians fault. Not the IDF. Meanwhile those “young men” are just teenagers because their parents are dead. The Congolese topic is worst. Many are begging people to stop buying the iPhone 15 to raise awareness over the issues there but I got told by one girl who likes to call herself an anti woke submissive wife that she couldn’t care less about the Congo, she’s going to do whatever her husband wants, if that means ignoring genocide then that’s what she will do too. It’s her god given to have freedom over dead bodies l…

I’m fed up. I’m sick of the hypocrisy. I’m sick of seeing stupid homestead content of how they’re at peace taking care of a home as they purposefully condone genocide. If some hacker group exposed all these “submissive Godly trad wife” accounts as being agents for Israel to distract the west from IDF war crimes, I wouldn’t be surprised the least. Their apathy is demonic

@not-your-average-prolifer is the only pro life blog who passed the vibe check as far as I know. She reblogged posts about the emergency of pregnant women in Palestine and also post about mental health of middle east women. I think she is left leaning (correct me if I'm wrong!) so I'm not surprised to see her with more empathy about whatever's happening to women abroad, unlike Conservatives who are extremely stupid & uneducated when it comes to foreign affairs, if not straight up xenophobic.

I hope for every single Christian I know to never open their mouth about uwu Christianism is from Middle east uwu ever again the next time someone calls Christianism white man's religion or I'll go berserk on them. They better shut up forever. They had no problem to keep their mouth shut witnessing the martyrdom of our brothers - they better keep it that way permanently and stop summoning their struggle once it's convenient to them. YES, they proved they definitely consider Christianism a white man thing, considering our little care they have for our (non white) Christian brothers overseas. They better keep them out of their mouth permanently.

"They're Muslim" it's been well documented that there are Christians in Palestine. But even if they weren't, Christ wants everyone to be saved and accept him as their lord and savior - refusing to extend some basic empathy to people being bombed and killed in their sin is not the way to go. Never forget that Jesus didn't heal or saved only Jews, but also pagans, prostitutes, etc. It's insane how so unemphatic "Christians" have become.

Christian Palestinians are actually some of the oldest Christians - like, where do they those idiots think Jerusalem was?? where did the Pentecost happen? IN MIAMI?? KANSAS?? "They should have left" WHERE?? aren't the ppl pulling out this argument the same crybabies whining about woke culture destroying western civilization? Why didn't they leave the western zone already??? Also aren't they the same against immigration and how men fleeing their country are lazy cowards? so why are they mad at Palestinians sticking to their land?? Damn, Western politicians/diplomacy have the opportunity to do the funniest thing possible and mass import Palestinians in western countries to abide Zionists requirements in Israel 💀

And LOL oh so now Palestinian men are supposed to protect children? what are they supposed to do when the IDF is bombing their house? Take weapons to defend/get back their land and shit? Oh my bad, that makes them terrorists (and let's be clear : what happened on October 7th is unjustifiable but let's not act like the Hamas wasn't called terrorist much earlier than that). It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't. If they do nothing, they're cowards, and if they do, they are terrorists - because in this case, resistance is defiance. Ultimately they just want to deflect from their own lack on empathy and find a rational explanation to that.

Conservative scrotes are the LAST people who should lecture anyone about defending the children when there are acting bullying kids young enough to be their grandchildren calling them wokes, leftists, or whatever. I won't even start about gun violence and how deflective they are about protecting the children only to protect their precious right to carry. Ghouls. They only care abt unborn babies because they are unable to call them out on their bs yet. Once they do, they'll cuss them, call them woke, and all sort of -ists.

On TikTok there was a Christian girl saying how Christians are "too emotional" and how we should keep supporting "God chosen people" (Israel). I already made a post calling out how this "god chosen people " narrative didn't stand now that we were in the NEW COVENANT. But let's follow her train of thought: isn't humankind made from God image? Where do emotions come from? Didn't God himself have emotion? Why? What's the right or wrong place to have emotion? She and all the clown who agreed with her would never be able to reply those questions. We've all seen the videos. I did what I could to avoid them but they're quite unavoidable at this point. What's the correct emotion after seeing 2 kids younger than 10 carrying a third one crying while one of his foot was hanging with only one tendon?? This girl, along with every single Christian unmoved by this disaster has to shut up. Their heart is a stone and they should stop trying to lecture people who still have a heart made of flesh. We're not the same. Christ is PEACE. Not war or violence.

And girl, you really shouldn't even engage with women labelling themselves "anti woke submissive wife" 💀 why would you expect them to care about anything but their idol (husband)? Stay focus on what really matters. Peace and God. We're in the end times and God is slowly but surely unfolding the truth. The masks are slipping. Take note of all the so called who remained silent witnessing satan action, take proper action, and go on.

#answered #Christian

[xenon-demon]

I fucking love pretty much every version of the “celebrity x Just Some Guy™” trope that there is for Steddie, but in honor of having a totally reasonable amount of wine I’m going to tell you about the version I’m currently thinking about all the time, one of my dumbest yet also funniest AU concepts: modern!AU with streamers Steve & Robin and Hardcore Fan™ Eddie who writes reader-insert fic about Steve.

Steve and Robin, aka EvenStevens and BirdBox_ on Twitch (“My name is spelled with a P-H, Robin, that’s such a stupid name.” “No, it’s actually even better this way! You don’t want to just use your real government name for something like this, and you would just make your username ‘SteveHarrington01′ or something equally uninspired-”) frequently stream together and have a shared YouTube channel. They got popular doing reaction videos that quickly devolve into the pair of them bickering on camera, and since the internet just loves the ‘snarky woman and her emotional support himbo’ dynamic, they got very big, very quick. Plus, it certainly doesn’t hurt that they had the combined might of Dustin and Erica to help them bend the algorithm to their whims.

While most people recognize their platonic-with-a-capital-P soulmatism, there are still some that are convinced they’re secretly dating - they can’t decide if it’s hilarious or absolutely maddening that every time they try to disprove the rumors, they somehow get stronger. Robin doesn’t feel comfortable coming out to the internet yet, and without that trump card some people just can’t understand why they’re not dating.

...there are other sections of their fandom, however, that absolutely do believe they’re not dating. Mainly because they’d rather be dating Steve or Robin (or both!) themselves, and write all the reader-insert fanfiction you could ever possibly need about it. Robin is largely ambivalent to the concept of fanfiction being written about herself as long as they’re not writing smut, since at least that way they’re not insisting she’s dating Steve.

Steve on the other hand finds it absolutely hilarious how despite how much he’s changed, he’s back to being the heartthrob he used to be in high school - and, he’ll be honest, he thrives on the attention. He’s given everyone the green light to write whatever they want - dared them to make it raunchier, even - to the point where it’s a running joke that Steve will read your reader-insert fanfiction about him unless you tag it with some form of ‘Steve don’t look’. He even used the prevalence of fic about himself to come out on stream.

(Steve’s in the middle of re-organizing his flower field in Animal Crossing when he’s interrupted by a donation. “Hey Steve, really sorry to tell you this but people are writing porn about you... and they’re making it gay. Like writing about you getting fucked by a dude. Just wanted you to know so you can say something about it.”

Steve stops dead, his screen freezing on his open inventory. “Hey, uh, why the fuck would I have a problem about a fictional version of me bottoming? Or- wait, do I seriously give off homophobic vibes? I’m literally bisexual. Hey Dustin, can you ban that guy please? Christ, the nerve of some people. If that’s how you feel about people being gay, or about people writing things that I’ve already said I have no problem with, you can leave this stream right now because I don’t want you here.“)

Many people lost their minds after that stream, one of them being popular tumblr blog whorefireclub.

Eddie didn’t plan on starting a tumblr blog for self-insert fanfiction about a twitch streamer. Really he didn’t, and every time he thinks about it in terms that plain he kind of dies a little on the inside. It’s really all Gareth’s fault, for getting fed up with Eddie’s dumb parasocial crush on a streamer and daring him to just “get it out of his system already”. So, using a bare-bones anonymous tumblr and many, many beers as his cover story, Eddie posted some of the most quickly written and unedited pieces of writing he’s ever produced in his life.

Except he wrote it with an AMAB reader character - and for those of you unfamiliar with the reader-insert sphere, that’s like fucking hen’s teeth. People are pretty good at making things gender neutral at least in their descriptions, and sometimes the anatomy is vague enough that it’s ambiguous, but the majority is written with AFAB genitalia for the reader character.

Eddie’s little drunken post blows up, and at first, he’s never regretted a life choice more.

After thinking about it, and seeing just how many people left comments with their reblogs or came into his askbox directly to thank him for giving them the representation they wanted, he starts to feel a bit better about the whole thing. In fact, it kind of tickles his “protector of the outcasts” instincts; there are people who can’t enjoy the content they want to because it doesn’t gel with their anatomy or gender identity. Eddie could, hypothetically, if he wanted to be absolutely insane about this one hot streamer guy, help fix that problem somewhat.

A couple of months later and he’s become “the guy who writes inclusive reader-insert fic”. While a fair amount of his work is gender-ambiguous, both in anatomy and in avoiding gendered language, more than half is written for anyone who finds themselves underrepresented in the usual reader-insert scene; anyone AMAB, AFAB people who can’t do female language, he’s even written a few oneshots with intersex reader characters. He did research for it and everything. It’s certainly not how he planned for this to work out, but it’s actually kind of... nice. He’d written a lot of fanfiction in his youth, mainly about Lord of the Rings and Star Trek, and while this isn’t how he’d imagined returning to the hobby it’s actually really fun. (It’s making his celebrity crush on Steve a million times worse, of course, but he’s in denial about that so it’s totally fine.)

He’s a little shit, so his blog header has - underneath his personal details - a PSA that reads “Steve, don’t look at this unless you have the balls to shout me out on stream ;)”. Eddie thinks he’s absolutely hilarious.

Right up until he wakes up to find his following has exploded overnight, and upon checking his DMs from his mutuals realizes that - oh shit - that bastard actually did it and talked about his blog on stream.

And Steve said he liked it. Steve likes the porn that Eddie wrote about him. Jesus H. Christ, Eddie is so unfathomably fucked.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if this were to exist as a fic it would be told through social media posts/DMs. one of those fics that uses unconventional (i.e. non-prose) formatting, you know the ones. the concept actually came from the fact I fucking LOVE fics like that, I’m a slut for any of that House of Leaves-type shit. one time I read a fic that consisted of 8 short stories and each one had a HTML puzzle you had to solve to be able to read it, e.g. one you had to highlight because the text was in white, another you needed to hover your mouse over to make it scroll through the text - I can’t remember the rest but it was SO COOL.

(or, to put this another way, I read homestuck at a formative age and it forever changed how I feel about formatting stories.)

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #steddie au #stranger things #charlie writes things #streamer au #streamer!steve harrington #writer!eddie munson #this is such a dumb au but i think it's so funny #eddie and steve flirting with each other via reader-insert fic that gets less and less subtle #steve has a secret fan account btw because of course he does #and he's always reblogging eddie's stuff and saying how hot it is/how much he likes it #also the pinned post on eddie's blog is him yelling at an anon for coming to him and asking why he doesn't ship stobin #HEY MAYBE WE WON'T DO SOMETHING THE CREATORS HAVE REPEATEDLY SAID THEY DON'T LIKE? AND MAKES THEM UNCOMFORTABLE? HOW ABOUT THAT? #<-- is what eddie's response boiled down to

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 15

welcome the the fifteenth fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.  

1. there, nestled against his pulse by @hiuythn

stop why are you doing this to me stop it stop it stop--

klance soulmate au where your right wrist has the first words your soulmate says to you, and the left holds the last words they'll say to you. super sad, so much angst, and i've been informed it'll make you sob until you choke.

1. there, nestled against his pulse (the main story, from Keith's POV) 2. this is what love looks like: (tnahp from Lance's POV + 38k of sequel content) 3. roll credits (deleted/extra scenes and additional headcanons)

okay. i am so desperately obsessed with this fic, i was obsessed with it the first time i read it and im obsessed with it now. and yes i know i did all hiuythn fics last week and i promise i wont this week. BUT i have a set of comments associated with this fic bc it is Just That Good and so i shall present them to u now:

- literally the funniest characterization of shiro i’ve ever read. this shiro is gay and tired. this shiro unironically and frequently says “move. i’m gay” and gets away with it at the garrison. this shiro has been through A Lot and just wants to fucking retire - allura here is so so funny she’s such a badass. she’s giving “i love shiny things! like the shine of your spilled blood on the floor if you say that dumb shit one more fucking time!!” we stan a queen. - coran is a Mood. this man is desperately trying to reign in four teenagers and two young adults and just wants to go to bed and also he cares for them all so so much. ultimate dad - pidge is Mischief Personified. she is a brat and i adore her. she’s here to cause problems and by god she will succeed - hunk is so done it’s so fucking funny. “that’s literally impossible.” he’s a genius and he knows it, he’s glad to call you out on your bullshit. he doesn’t even TRY to pretend he can keep a secret and/or handle drama god what a mood - don’t even get me started on klance!! they’re so funny omg. the banter is EXQUISITE. lance and keith adore each other so much and they’re so badass. literally the coolest power couple fight scenes ever to be made, i do adore. gosh. and the ROMANCE they are so devoted to each other i’m emotional - honourable mention of lance’s legs and keith’a Soft Squishy Feelings that are mentioned so often that they’re characters. iconic. all in all, the best way to describe this series is Gay and Tired. i love it and i’m sad to see it end. i will be rereading it an embarrassing number of times. infinity/10

2. all the little things by @jilliancares

Or: 5 times Keith let Lance get away with things that he'd never let anyone else do, and 1 time Lance realized that he was, apparently, special

oblivious lance will always be funny to me. and the idea of keith just letting lance get away with Everything and Everyone knowing how whipped he is except for lance himself?? peak humour. never not funny

3. Full Disclosure by @dragonomatopoeia

Keith is impulsive and straightforward when it comes to most things, and emotions are no exception. It's no surprise, then, that when he realises that he might have developed a crush on Lance, he tries to tell him immediately. Unfortunately, it's very hard to account for both circumstance and who Lance is as a person.

Alternatively: Four Times Keith Tried to Confess and One Time Lance Actually Understood

more 2016 eliteness!! this fic is hilarious. and also its number one selling quality is that all of the characters are trans and nd i literally love that for them. nonbinary hunk loml

4. catch me, before i fall by @pastelrainbow

‘We are a good team.’

Even now, just recalling the way Lance had smiled as the words left his lips, made Keith’s heart race and his cheeks redden. Lance had never looked at him so fondly before. No boy ever had. The thought of it made a sigh escape his lips and Keith hunched his shoulders, a pout tugging his lips downwards.

Curse my weak gay heart.

-

a what if keith caught lance outside his cryo-pod.

the idea of keith being a suave casanova with more game than aphrodite herself but immediately going bright red and hissing when shiro teases him. peak dynamic. absolutely nailed siblings 

5. of demons and dates by spartona (faveour)

Three times Keith scares Lance shitless with his ghost shenanigans, and one time Lance tries to retaliate.

first of all. BFU KLANCE BFU KLANCE BFU KLANCE. second of all. the  “we’ve BEEN dating u dumbass ily” trope is so funny to me. i will never get over it

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

#actually lots of five plus one esque fics this week #bc i love them #ahem anyways #vld #voltron #lance #lance mcclain #keith #keith kogane #klance #team as family #fluff and humour #broganes #fic rec #fic rec friday #longpost

[yowyowyaoi]

Tobi’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Sasori

What exactly do you expect me to say to that?

Donuts outside your door. Peace offering.

I’m sure it’s just as scared of you as you are of it.

No it’s three. THREE leaves are bad.

I’ll have Deidara give it to you but from now on if you idiots choose to keep going out without sunscreen I’m no longer treating the burn.

I noticed. But we all have secrets. That one is yours.

I’ve long forgotten the taste of food but if you think you can do a better job than Konan, by all means tell her. I’m sure she’ll take it well.

From Zetsu

What would he even be to you? Uncle? Grandpa? Great-grandpa? 

Patience, sunshine and a lottttttt of sugar.

He wouldn’t be very pleased that you’re letting one immature blonde ruin your focus this way …

No I HAD to eat him. His screaming would have attracted the enemy.

Your eyes look atrocious have you been using the drops??

Don’t kill it until I get there! They make great snacks 😋

I get that but sleep is important too kid.

Pls tell me you’re not the one who ate it all. Please. Please.

From Hidan

I mean maybe if you had a bigger dick but I’m not even sure the puppet has one at all so idk man 🤷‍♂️

Geez I wasn’t that drunk was I? 

You’ve got some balls on you bastard but fuck yes I’m in!! 😈 Funniest shit ever.

So get out of bed and come hang out. Just laying there all day ain’t helping shit.

It’s rated R but only for the sex shit. Don’t worry I know what a little bitch you are about scary movies 🙄

You snitch on me and tomorrow you wake up with your severed hand shoved up your ass 😇

Stop being such a stingy mf you don’t even like ribs asshole!

Not as weird as you think. He’s very flexible for a geezer 

No you’d be perfect for it. Nobody could read your face bc of that fucking mask!

Don’t let Konan see she’d kill both of us and then dig us up to fuck us up again 😓

From Kisame

Itachi insists I ask you to join us, so please come.

There isn’t one in your closet and even if there was, why would you send ME after it?!

God are you and Itachi related or something?! I can’t get either one of you to stop with the damn sweets!

PLEASE stop jumping on the bed I gotta get up in 3 hours I need SLEEP 😡

Stop asking me 1000 questions every time you watch the Discovery Channel 😑

From Nagato

I’m tired of speaking to you three about the same damn issues every single week. You are all grown men and I should not have to babysit you.

If I’m getting complaints from people OUTSIDE of this group? Then, yes, it is a problem.

Do as you see fit but remember your missions take precedence above all.

I’d advise you to keep in mind that he’s only 19 years old, and he already has that hair-trigger temper.

At least on this one point we can agree: white-haired “mentors” are the worst. 

What makes you think Sasori would make a good Pein-body for me? 

From Kakuzu 

You realize every cloak you tear up I’M the one hand sewing the replacement??

You Deidara Hidan all need to clean your rooms you’re making the house smell like a public toilet 😡

Only if YOU want to be the one to go out and catch the bounty to afford that.

I would suggest you stay focused on your missions. This is a serious organization, not a highschool.

I doubt that. I’m rarely surprised, brat.

Be a lot easier to treat it if you took that damn mask off and let me SEE it, kid.

Not complaining about the money but … how did you get it so fast 🤨

Konan says it was you, you say it was Itachi. Wonder what Itachi’s going to tell me.

No. And anyway you’re old enough to know that “love potions” aren’t real.

From Konan

Dinner’s ready!

You know that’s a completely inappropriate question to ask a woman, right?

Come see me later I’ll use the good shampoo and then give you a trim 😊

The other things I don’t mind but everyone is responsible for their own underwear.

Just go play with the one that Itachi absolutely does not have in his room.

Okay but FIVE SEPARATE PEOPLE came to me and told me they saw you playing with it right before it “mysteriously broke”. 😒

Not saying the muscles are impressive. But. 🫣

From Itachi

I’ve found that massaging the lids for half an hour and then resting with a cold cloth over them really helps.

I saw. I couldn’t believe how tall he’s gotten 😢

I’ll let you read it when I’m done. It helps with a lot of the overwhelming feelings.

I’m not scared at all. I just don’t want Kisame to be around to see it happen.

Honestly? I don’t trust that old man and I don’t think you should either, cousin.

A few bad teeth is probably the least of my health concerns, ha ha 🙃

Come walk with me. Give you a chance to breathe for a while.

Yeah but the thing about dreams is at some point, you’ve got to wake up. 

We’re both young and strong. Together with Sasuke we could do it. And be free.

Are you kidding? That movie would have BOTH of them pissing their pants. 🤣

No matter what he’s just going to find an excuse to fine you for it and take it out of your pay.

Ugh I tried but the way he eats everything super rare? And then licks the blood off the plate?? 🤢

From Deidara

Well you know he’s immortal so, never.

A big box of dangos and like half a cherry pie. You can have it but do NOT let me catch you eating everything at once.

We leave in 20 min. Don’t forget your pack this time.

No Kakuzu thinks Hidan did it and I’m not gonna correct him, and NEITHER ARE YOU.

That’s … pretty gay, ngl

Socks first, then shoes. Not sock shoe sock shoe. If there was a fire you’d be running out with one foot naked. Who tf raised you?!

Yeah I made it for you. I know you like turtles. And no it doesn’t explode.

I dare you to say that to him

Heyyyy you got $30 I can borrow 😅

No really DID you hide my clay?!

Me, Hidan and Uchiha. You’re coming too.

The way one loves a *friend*, yes

Did the salmon give you the shits too?? God my asshole feels like it’s melting 😫

#tobi #obito uchiha #texting #the akatsuki #deidara #sasori #hidan #kakuzu #itachi uchiha #zetsu #konan #nagato #kisame hoshigaki #Akatsuki Daily Texts Series #implied tobidei?