#this is not a rhetorical question has this been written yet because the need for it is BURNING me

[benevolenterrancy]

~ Kiss Kiss Fall From Heaven ~

@biboomerangboi your tag on my last picture opened my third eye, Xie Lian literally starts the series off by accidentally breaking shit and getting himself into ridiculous debt where's my Ouran High School au???? guys??????

#this is not a rhetorical question has this been written yet because the need for it is BURNING me #also @biboomerangboi i sure hope that was an intentional ohshc reference because if it wasn't i made it one #tgcf #hualian #hua cheng #feng xin #mu qing #shi qingxuan #he xuan #yin yu #ouran high school host club #heaven official's blessing #my art

[rojaceartandgaming]

Hello IEYTD fandom, I know I'm not much of someone who... participates much. I lurk, I drop in to throw an ieytd fic at y'all and put Jackson through more hell, but... I have a legitimate question. Please don't be mad if I am out of line, but I'm genuinely confused as someone who is a storyteller himself and is learning game design in college. This leads me into another point here-

This will go into game and story analysis!

I'll admit most of my questions are rhetorical, so as rude as I may accidentally sound... I want to have a genuine discussion about this fandom, and I am coming in as a third party who doesn't partake in anything here really other then loving people's fanfiction and art. I watch, I listen, and yet... I am utterly exhausted and kind of frustrated with the state of this fandom as a mostly outside observer.

So, I'm legitimately just putting these questions out there to get them off my mind, and I really don't have the energy to partake in any arguments. I am not looking for any arguments like "well I don't think so" or "I don't see that." I have been here silently watching and yet what I shall bring up has stood out to me near-constantly.

Why is there just... such blatant mischaracterization in this fandom? And why, furthermore, are people so... shocked that people enjoy villainous characters? And even furthermore.... why are people constantly dumbing down antagonists? As a writer myself, I often constantly find myself mentally praising Schell on this amazing trilogy of games. Especially because 99.9 percent of the characters are villains. A hero is only as good as their villain - that is a crucial part of video game development. Of storytelling as a whole.

I am studying game design. Actively going to college for this.

I have been reading and consuming and analyzing fiction since I was a kid.

I've been working on an RPG for the past three years, my passion project.

No matter if you're reading a story, watching a movie, or in this case playing a video game, this is a fundamental concept. A hero is only as good as their villain. That is what makes us root for a hero. A villain has to be menacing, a threat to the main hero, needs to be compelling, and furthermore most of the time needs to be understandable. A villain that you can see exactly how they got to that point and can kind of empathize with that is a well written villain.

Being able to see or analyze how a villain got to that point is not excusing their bad actions or ignoring that a character is a bad guy.

That is someone critically analyzing a character and enjoying their arc. And furthermore, that is a testament to good writing.

Being able to understand exactly how a villain got to the point they're at makes them more terrifying.

Characters like Sephiroth (honestly most Final Fantasy antagonists, really), the Dead Three's Chosen from Baldur's Gate, basically every villain from Splatoon, Count Bleck from Super Paper Mario and so much more are not beloved characters just because they're just like, considered hot (idk fandoms be wild) or blorboified (is that even a term?).

They're loved because they are genuine threats who have such depth to their character and are interesting because they are villains. And furthermore, vanquishing or going against these villains feels important because they have depth. Because they can be analyzed.

That's what I love about IEYTD as both a gamer, and a storyteller myself. The Phoenix is a complete blank slate. The Phoenix is a player insert. That is not a personal stance. That is an intentional game mechanic. That is not a consequence of IEYTD being a VR game - many VR games have a proper named main character, even if they are a silent protagonist. The Phoenix is once again a blank slate for the player to project onto, and that is an intentional decision by Schell. This is how they wanted to tell their story. I love an oc-ified Phoenix as much as the the next person - I mean, look at Jackson - but the Phoenix is a literal blank slate. You cannot ignore that.

So how do you make a silent character with no appearance or voice interesting? How do you make the player care? Furthermore, how do you make the game feel rewarding?

You fill the game with a plethora of characters - primarily villains - that have enough character and drive that make the player feel good about overcoming the challenges and trials that come. That is just good game design.

Every single villain - from someone who barely gets any mention like Daniel Sans, to major, major villains like Solaris, Juniper, and Prism, to even a villain who we don't know shit about like Zor - is a menacing force. Overcoming the obstacles that are sent your way leads to a rewarding game play loop where you, the player, actually give a shit about the story, the world, the villains, and the player insert of the Phoenix themselves.

There is so much to every single villain that one can pick apart, that it becomes insulting to the characters and honestly to Schell's writers when you reduce their characters to just "a girlboss who kills people" (Fabricator) or "a whiny bitch of a privileged asshole" (Juniper) or "just a silly guy who likes bees" (Hivemind) or "she didn't do anything wrong, she was just manipulated" (Prism).

Even the most minor of a villain in this game has so, so many layers you could pick apart and analyze and... so many people in this fandom all but Flanderize them. It almost feels like people in this fandom cannot grasp the concept of characters being multifaceted.

And even more, that they cannot imagine liking a villain even though they are a villain.

This is a trend that I've seen a lot within fandom recently and... it's something I don't get. Writing a character who is a terrible person (and liking said character) does not make someone a terrible person. That is something that people do not seem to get nowadays thanks to likely lack of media literacy and... it kind of kills me a little bit as someone who analyzes so many types of media and is working on a story driven RPG, and once again is going to college for game design.

A character who is flawed is believable. No realistic character is infallible.

John Juniper is prone to anger, he is a man who is egotistical, arrogant, and a bit of a prick. However, these bad traits of his were likely preyed upon by Zoraxis and he became worse because of that. I am not saying he did no wrong, I am saying that you have to acknowledge that he is multifaceted.

The Fabricator has a fair bit of flair too, but to reduce her to just a quote-en-quote girlboss ignores her work. She makes Saw-esque death traps and delights in the pain and ultimately death her traps make.

Hivemind delights in killing people with literal bee stings. Think about that, think of how brutal of a death that would be. The average adult can withstand over one-thousand bee stings, or approximately ten stings per pound. And he laughs about it.

Prism knew what she was getting into, and hearing people say she did nothing wrong is... confusing. She worked for the EOD. She knew who Zor was. She knew what they would do. It is no secret that they regularly backstab their own employees. Zoraxis elite have a target on their back from their own employer. Prism likely knew that, and yet worked for them anyways. Yes, she helps the Phoenix in the end. But that is the culmination of her arc. You have to acknowledge that.

These are but a few examples - I am not going into full rants about every single character. I have an essay due on Sunday, I need some of my sanity left. But I feel like this had to be said.

To reduce these characters to Flanderized versions of themselves is to almost insult the writing in these games. To insult the very complexity and depth and thought that was put into these characters. And as a lover of story driven media who often analyzes - occasionally over-analyzing - these sorts of games for fun, and is aspiring to complete a story driven RPG with hopefully in-depth villains.... it is simply saddening to witness.

I felt this had to be said, thank you for your time if you read this. I now hopefully should have some peace of mind for the time being.

#ieytd #i expect you to die

[oboetemasuka]

Order of Attack, part 9

"A Withering Flame"

Finally, I've written Fuuta's voice drama. And revised it. And revised it again. And used the mega shears on the dialogue because Fuuta can't use long sentences.

What a monster of a chapter. I deserve a break. Next up is a shorter one-shot.

Trigger warnings for suicidal thoughts. Haruka's situation is also briefly mentioned. There's also something about Fuuta repeatedly stopping Es from getting Shidou.

(Courtesy link to the fic; will update at some point)

----

Es entered the cell and took in the layout. Fuuta was propped up in a hospital bed, his neck and torso securely braced and his left arm in a sling. He was kneading a Jackalope stress toy with his right hand, digging his nails into it. More stress toys stood on the table to his right, and Es almost tripped on one a few feet ahead. As Fuuta saw Es approaching, he dropped what he was holding and swatted the rest out of his reach.

"Been a… while, Warden," Fuuta said. Es was expecting more malice in his tone, but he sounded like his life force was draining.

"Fuuta… you…" They pulled a chair to the side of the table and took a seat. "Are you okay?"

"…look like it?" Fuuta responded. If he was angry, his voice did a terrible job of showing it.

Es didn't know how to respond. Do I look like it? was obviously a rhetorical question, but they needed to show some tact.

After a moment, Fuuta spoke up again. "…look awful… don't I?"

Still unsure of what to say, Es nodded slightly.

"Could've been worse. Could've died."

Es stared down, pondering their next words. Several seconds passed, and then Fuuta's voice registered in their head again.

"Oi… talking to you." Fuuta's irritated glare met Es as they lifted their head.

"I'm sorry," they said, "I'm… I'm not sure what I can say."

"Don't know what to say? I almost died because of… you don't know… Even so, it's a miracle I … If Shidou had taken any longer, would've been over for me. Don't blame him, though. …Oi, say something." 

"Sor-"

"Sorry won't cut it." Fuuta sounded more pained than angry.

Es took a breath. "…Kotoko did this to you?"

"No sh… agh…" Fuuta gasped for air.

"Fuuta!" Es got up and walked to his side. "I'll go get Shidou-"

"Don't!" Fuuta's eyes betrayed his desperation. After they locked eyes for a few moments, Fuuta let out a chuckle. "Look … you … down on me, like always. Must be so happy to see…"

"I- no, I'm not. I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't think Kotoko would-"

"Beat me to near-death? What'd you expect … you affirmed her…"

"I…"

"…thought she wouldn’t have … same crime here in… Oi, quit standing… staring…"

"I’m sorry, I didn't think-"

"Useless… apology…" 

But what else could Es do besides apologize? Stand their ground and contradict Fuuta while he was in that pitiful state?

"Really didn't think it'd… turn out… Me too. All I did… call some bad person out… say what's wrong was wrong… Their reasons were b-" Fuuta gasped and clutched his chest. Es began to turn towards the door, but Fuuta grabbed their cape with his right hand. 

Es swatted his hand away. "Hey, you can't just grab me like that."

"Don't dare…"

"Fine, I won't get Shidou. Yet." Es stood in place and waited for Fuuta to regain his voice.

"You judged me… said I was unforgivable… without the whole story… How's that any different?"

"Excuse me?"

"That's so hypo- khh!" Fuuta slammed his hand on the table, trying to play it off as an emphasis, but that didn't mask his pain.

"Careful, Fuuta! You'll hurt-" Es gave up on that concern when Fuuta glared. "Someone died because of you. You're saying I'm the same?"

"I didn't think they'd die!"

"But you knew people would dogpile them."

"I wasn't acting alone. Anyone else… out of my control… Why'd you pick me…"

"Milgram has judged-"

"Milgram doesn't make any f-"

Maybe Es should have put their foot down and called Shidou regardless of Fuuta's wishes. But something compelled them to hear him out. "Don't push yourself."

Fuuta was clearly annoyed, but he took a breath and continued. "Still don't see it? We're just the same!"

"Me? The same as you?" Es couldn't deny Fuuta's point. They both made their judgments without thinking that someone could be seriously hurt—or dead.

"I'll tell you. They were just in middle school. Maybe closer to Amane… than you…"

"Amane…" Es already knew this from what they gleaned from Fuuta's first video, but it didn't register how close in age their victims were. Wait, why were they thinking of Amane as a victim? "Amane… huh… I noticed you two have been spending a lot of time together lately."

"You kidding? Don't change the subject... You don't talk about her like… Only one who cared before everything went to hell. You made her go through it. Decided she wasn't forgivable… painted a target… She could've died too! Then we'd be exactly…"

"Don't put me on the same level as you."

"Are you not-"

"I'm just doing my job. Nobody told you to go online and decide who are bad people and harass them. You made a game out of judgment. This is what I'm supposed to do."

Fuuta laughed at Es for still failing to acknowledge their similarities. Then he winced in pain. Then he kept laughing and mocking Es for taking their job seriously. Es snapped back. A pointless, cyclical conversation. Fuuta stopped Es from calling Shidou no less than three times.

Eventually, the bell brought the conversation to a halt.

Silence.

Why was Fuuta so quiet?

"Hey… Fuuta?" Es leaned over to get a better look at his face. His eyes seemed glassy, and he seemed to be breathing more slowly. "Fuuta… I'll go get-"

"Don't. Not worth…"

"Worth what?"

"If you're not going to… forgive… what's the point… living?"

"Don't say-"

"Everything hurts so much. Painkillers don't help… Strange wonder I survived. Is it really worth it?"

"Worth it…" What could Es even say about that? Anything they could think of was either more unwanted pity or…

A cold accusation that Fuuta was bargaining his life for forgiveness. Es's thoughts flitted back to Haruka's interrogation- no, that comparison was unfair. Haruka's loaded intentions were worlds away from Fuuta's resignation. How could Es dare…

"I understand… this job requires resolve…"

"Resolve? You really have resolve… just kill me. With your own two hands. Don't hide behind the rules."

"I can't do that. I can't sink to the prisoners' level. It's my job as the warden to make a fair judgement. I… I have to judge each and every one of you… no matter how much they plead, cry, or bargain… even if they are dying right in front of me."

"What is even the point? You give a damn about my life, forgive me! If not, kill me… get it over with."

"Bargaining tactics won't work with me."

"Not like I care. Or… if I get out of this alive, I'll… kill… you…"

"Fine by me. If we truly are the same, then I'll have had it coming. Now, Prisoner no. 3, Fuuta, sing your sins."

----

Q: “What are you thinking about?”

A: “Ways to get rid of the pain”

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #es milgram #milgram es #cw suicidal thoughts #fic #bad things happen to amane

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hi! Are you still open for request for Morpheus? If yes, I want to request Morpheus taking care of reader who's in pain because of their period if that's okay. Thank you sm I love your writings <333

My requests for morpheus are always open my dear, I could never deny myself the chance to write for the wet cat of a man. And I’m glad that you enjoy my writing! Thank you it means a lot! Also it’s been awhile since I’ve last written for Morpheus so it’ll be a lil rusty.

Taglist: @mess-in-side @blossomedfloweroflove @murnsondock @dinonuggett @mm2305 @kuchokitty

“Urgh,” you groaned, “why must life hate me so fucking much.” As almost a response to your obviously rhetorical question, a particularly painful cramp blossomed within the depths of your lower abdomen when you made the foolish move of unfurling your legs from your chest; dislodging the lukewarm water bottle you had kept on hand for these very occasions as it lied limply on the bed. Extracting a hiss from your lips at the loss of warmth as you were forced to revert to a fetal position.

Unable to place the water bottle back against the area where most of your current problems resides in, you groaned even louder this time it practically encompassed the entirety of the empty bedroom much like the dull periodic throbs of pain emitting from your abdomen and throughout your body; rendering it incapable of moving without setting off another wave of cramps that you soon conformed to your fate upon the bed. It pissed you off that you along with many others had to go about your day to day lives as though you weren’t getting stabbed with an iron poked in the exact same spot for several days on end and were forced to refrain from making such a big issue out of it.

“Beloved?” Morpheus’s voice called from the doorway causing you to peak your head above over the covers like a dog would when their owners arrived home, “Lucienne has informed me that you were on your period and this you have a history of painful cramps alongside it, do you wish me to rid you of this misery. Just say the word and it shall be done.” Whilst it was sweet that Morpheus was willing to use his status as an endless to free you of this burden that you’ve been cursed with since forever; but you knew it just wasn’t that easy and you didn’t wish for him to use his powers on something like this no matter how selfish you wanted to be with the privileges you hold as dreams’ lover.

“As tempting as that offer sounds, my sweet dream, I cannot ask that of you. Whilst yes it hurts like a bitch but to take the easy way out of things isn’t something I can’t pride myself in doing, you of all people should know that by now and how inconceivable I can become.” You said before groaning as a quick yet painful cramp had you lying flat back against the pillow and into your precious position, eyes clenched tightly as you began to breath deeply through your nose and out your mouth as a tactic in shifting your focus elsewhere. “If that’s the case then how do you propose that I be of help to you in your time of need, dearest.” He sounded closer this time and the added weight to your side of the bed only seemed to rectify you suspicion as Morpheus’s fingers brush against the skin of your cheek like that of baby bird feathers. The furrow within your brow seemed to disappear when his fingers continued these light caresses down your face, across your jawline before moving back up again to where they started. “Some chocolate would be nice, dark chocolate to be exact.” You hummed, “as cliche as it sounds but there’s facts to back up why that might be and it’s because dark chocolate contains a mineral that helps ease the muscles within the abdomen which provides some significant relief.”

As though materialised in thin air, a bar of dark chocolate was produced and placed on the pillow next to your head with a soft thud, causing you to open your eyes to behold the sweet delight before ripping open the packaging and plopping a few into your mouth, humming in satisfaction when you felt the muscles within your lower abdomen slowly start to ease into a relaxed state. “Heaven.” You spoke between bites, lost in your own state of bliss, not really bothering to question the logistics on how much one can create within the dreaming as you’ve had this conversation once before with morpheus but it only left you scratching your head at the paradoxes that were the rules of the dreaming. “Anything else?” Morpheus said as he watched over you eating like a silent guardian with a smile playing on his lips when he saw that he was being of some use to you rather then not at all; had he still been the man he was before his capture he would’ve oh most definitely left you to your own devices or left elsewhere without letting you know in advance.

“Can you cuddle me but put your hand on my lower abdomen?” You asked, knowing that whilst he is your lover he was also the ruler and representative of the dreaming, whom of which had more then his weight in duties that require his attention. Which lead into not so much time being spent between the both of you as either of you would like and yet during times like these you wished to be a little selfish with the time you did have with Morpheus before he was rushed elsewhere. “Of course, it would be my honour to hold you.” Morpheus said as he made himself comfortable in your shared bed, placing his large hand gently against the place you needed him most as the warmth seeped into skin welcomingly as he held you tightly. Your personal hell became heaven within his arms and the cramps has been reduced to dull to nonexistent throbs, so much so that you had found yourself near enough half asleep with a half eaten bar of dark chocolate in one hand while the other rested atop of Morpheus’s hand that was acting as your only source of warmth. Yeah periods maybe shitty but at least you have Morpheus to make them less shittier.

#the sandman fluff #the sandman fic #the sandman fanfic #the sandman x you #the sandman imagine #the sandman imagines #the sandman x reader #dream of the endless imagine #dream of the endless x reader #dream of the endless imagines #dream of the endless x you #morpheus fanfiction #morpheus fic #morpheus imagine #morpheus imagines #morpheus x you #morpheus x reader

[officialyourdailyinspiration]

Henry Martyn: Helping Muslims Find Jesus

Day by day, young Islamic scholar Muhammad Rahim visited Henry Martyn to hear how he answered the questions and arguments of Persia's greatest theologians.

His attitude, like those of his colleagues, was to heap scorn on this teacher of a “despised sect.” But the patience, wisdom, and love of the young Englishman, little by little, softened his heart.

Martyn was a gifted scholar in his own right. Within five years he had already translated the New Testament into Persian, Hindi and Arabic. He had recently come to Persia in 1810 both to check his translation with local Muslim experts and to give a witness to his Lord.

During their question-answer times, Martyn’s opponents were hostile and even violent in their rhetoric. One of the royal princes put his hand to the hilt of his sword and growled that taking off his head was the only proper reply to such heresy.

Yet Martyn’s responses surprised Rahim and the others. He remained serene and unmoved among his attackers. “If Christ has work for me to do, I cannot die,” he said simply. Martyn never shirked encounters where he might be called upon to confess his faith.

The Englishman’s demeanor and wise answers caused quite a stir in Shiraz. As a result, the leading Muslim authorities decided to silence him once and for all by writing a peerless defense of Islam. Mirza Ibrahim, the “preceptor of all the mullahs,” who edited the presentation, chose to employ courteous subtlety, rather than opposing him with acrimony.

Martyn confronted the champion of Persian theology like a brave knight of Christ. He winsomely replied in a tract in which he showed an astonishing mastery of the entire controversy. The brilliant and compelling interchange was later preserved in English and published by the Cambridge Professor of Arabic, after Martyn’s death.

Rahim, after weighing the countless interchanges between Martyn and the Persian theologians, came to the personal conviction that the Christian faith was the correct one. Because of shame and fear, he stayed away from the sessions for months. But upon hearing Martyn was about to leave, Rahim came at last to make his confession of faith in Jesus as the Son of God.

With profound joy, Martyn placed a copy of the newly completed Persian New Testament into Rahim’s hands. From that day, that book became the the Persian scholar’s lifelong companion.

Years later, Muhammad Rahim shared his conversion with a Christian traveler, and showed him the book that was his greatest treasure. On one of the blank pages was written, “There is joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth – Henry Martyn." Martyn’s Suggestions for fruitful Muslim Evangelism:

Henry Martyn has been considered the first evangelical missionary among the Muslims. His life deeply impacted his contemporaries, both Christians and Muslims. Two years before he died, he wrote the following seven principles for work among Muslims:

Share your testimony as to how you experienced forgiveness of sins and peace with God through Jesus Christ.

Appreciate the best in your Muslim friends and attribute these qualities to God working in their lives. The same goes for those elements of the Muslim culture that are genuinely approved by God.

Keep your message centered in Christ while you speak about the grace of God and how this is transmitted through Christ and applied by the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit.

Invite your Muslim friends to study the Bible so that they can discover the truth for themselves.

Pray for your Muslim friends and help them during this critical time of investigation and decision making.

Create a favorable environment in society through good works that minister to human need.

Trust that Holy Spirit will work in your Muslim friends while they seek their place as Christian in their Muslim context.

[livgr3]

The Big Sick (2017)

Michael Showalter's The Big Sick contains two prototypical rom-com narratives in one: its first third depicts the budding romance between Pakistani American stand-up comedian Kumail and Emily, a white, American woman, while its remainder shows Kumail grappling with love, family, and sacrifice after Emily is suddenly put into a medically-induced coma.

The Big Sick's eclectic narrative and its multitude of inherent themes about race and gender are further complicated by the fact that this film is a true story, actually co-written by now-spouses Kumail Nanjiani and Emily Gordon and starring now-successful comedian Kumail Nanjiani as himself. Perhaps because of this biographical nature of the film, its comedy is incredibly self-aware and purposefully realistic, with many moments of improvisation. In fact, Kumail's place as a stand-up comedian inserts comedy into the diegetic narrative itself, with the role of and need for comedy in the face of tragedies becoming a major theme of the film. This realistic approach is also reflected in the fact that Kumail and Emily's racial difference is not at all hidden within the narrative.

(For the purposes of this discussion, I will refer to Kumail Nanjiani the character as Kumail and Kumail Nanjiani the screenwriter/real life figure as Nanjiani)

Before proceeding with any analysis, I must first address the film's meta-narrative and the complication of analyzing and intellectualizing its modes of representation because of its truth and its autobiographical form. Some of the film is, of course, dramatized and fictionalized, but many of its questionable aspects of race and gender were central to the true story and thus unchanged in the film. This does not justify everything "wrong" with the film, but rather brings forth really stimulating questions about the ethics of autobiographical pieces, identity politics, self representation, and more!

I will try to remedy this gap by analyzing this film based upon Nanjiani's identity as a Pakistani man and Kumail's role as the romantic male lead and the film's narrator, despite the film being written by both Nanjiani and Gordon about their own romance. Kumail's perspective brings forth differing representations of Pakistani and white women.

Throughout the film, Kumail's parents repeatedly force him into meeting several Pakistani women in hopes that he will find a wife. After secretly falling in love with Emily, a fact Kumail completely hides from his family until the end of the film, Kumail detests these arranged meetings. There is tension between his family's adherance to tradition and his immersion into American culture (his brother even calls him a burger). Nanjiani's writing allows for a nuanced exploration of his own relation to tradition and cultural assimilation, avoiding harmful rhetoric framing the tradition of arranged marriages as wholly "bad". In fact, Kumail's relationship to his family and respective culture is open-ended as the film concludes.

However, the Desi women who meet Kumail do not receive this same fair, nuanced kind of representation.

The film has been criticized for its portrayal of Desi women as unwanted, discardable, and interchangeable. Kumail places the headshots of these women in a cigar box, a visual representation of their irrelevance to him. While this is intended to display his strains and complex frustrations with tradition, Nanjiani himself has stated his regret about the carelessness in how he approached this opportunity to represent Desi women in his film, and how its central love story inevitably displays a preference for white women. Let's discuss:

Nanjiani's regret at this aspect of his film is understandable, yet speaks to the rarity of his position in Hollywood and the expectations placed on non-white creatives. Not only is he the most prominent Pakistani-American actor, he is also a Pakistani-American stand-up comedian, writer, producer, etc. His unique celebrity creates a lot of pressure for him to be "the voice" of Pakistani representation. How does the lack of diverse story tellers in the industry impact the kinds of films they are expected to create? How does the expectation to portray one's culture positively to mainstream, Western viewers limit POC writers/filmmakers?

Does Nanjiani's identity as a Pakistani man impact the reception of his film and provide him certain privileges? The film received an Oscar nomination for Best Original Screenplay. While the film is fantastic, films that use prototypical rom-com formulas don't typically receive this merit. Do you think any other factors are at play for this high critical acclaim? Would the film be received differently if it were about a Pakistani woman? If it were more classically a "women's" rom-com, from a woman's POV? Is "tokenization" at play?

Finally, I would like to discuss the central romance in the film, one that happens to be an interracial romance. This scene depicts Kumail and Emily's last interaction before her coma, leaving Kumail with immense guilt and regret:

This is a very fitting representation of how interracial and intercultural romance is addressed in the film. I am very confounded by this scene, and don't know what to make of it myself. So, I want to open it up for discussion.

What do you make of this argument? Is Emily's anger and feeling of betrayal understandable? Is Kumail's subsequent guilt justified?

How does this film compare to the previous scene I showed? How do both race and gender privileges intersect in this film, based on these two clips?

#oxyfilmidentity #@theuncannyprofessoro #Youtube

[rwby-redux]

Something that has always bothered me in canon. Travel in the real world is expensive. And I would assume that grimm attacks would make travel in Remnant MORE expensive. Yet Jaune’s family somehow has enough money to make regular camping trips to Shion Village a thing from wherever they lived (don’t get me started on how we have gone have way across the world and only run into one family member. Just where does his family live?) And yet he was still sheltered enough to not know what Aura is? It’s the type of thing that makes one ask questions about his home life despite how much he told us. And while I would love to believe they thought these details out, Occam’s Razor suggests that they just didn’t think about said details enough.

Anyways. I am wondering what your thoughts on this is and if you have any ideas on how to address it?

You’re completely right to think it’s weird! Because it is weird.

Aura isn’t some obscure resource exclusively used by Huntsmen—it’s a basic component of biology in this universe. That’s like not knowing what a kidney is. If Jaune grew up in a large city, then there’s an all-but-guaranteed chance he would have encountered at least one person with an unlocked Aura, just because of urban population density. If he grew up in some remote, isolated community, then there’s even less of an excuse for him not knowing what Aura is, because we’re explicitly told people who live far away from the major kingdoms need to know how to fight in order to not die. A character says as much in the second episode of Volume 2.

Blake: I was raised outside the kingdoms. If you can’t fight, you can’t survive.

No amount of hand-waving can justify him not knowing a fundamental concept of this setting. Especially one that’s non-negotiable for surviving.

Harris Brewis (Hbomberguy) talks about that issue here, and to summarize: Jaune is basically an audience surrogate character. He’s deliberately written to be ignorant, so that way, the show has an excuse to let Pyrrha explain the concept to him (and by extension, us).  

Not to go on a tangent here, but Jaune’s obliviousness really does underpin the issue with his character. If Jaune was so enamored with his family’s history of being legendary warriors, and aspired to uphold their legacy, then why does he not know the first thing about fighting? Look at Ruby and Yang—they both come from a family of skilled fighters, and wanted to undertake similar career paths. But unlike Jaune, they started preparing when they were young, and by the time they’re ready to enroll at a formal academy, they’ve been suitably trained and educated.

Jaune’s incompetence, in both combat and know-how, makes his decision to attend a Huntsman Academy seem like it was last-second. Like, why does he want to be a Huntsman? Why is living up to his family’s legacy so important? Why didn’t he try to enlist at one of the prep schools before applying to Beacon, so that way he was prepared? What are his motives?

Sorry. Jaune’s character is a sore spot for me, and it’s hard to resist taking potshots.

I know you were rhetorically asking about his family, but you might be interested to hear that I did come up with an explanation for it in the Redux. Along with an answer for why he forged his way into Beacon, and why he was so underprepared. And why Ozpin allowed it.

But to address your main question, regarding travel, infrastructure, and the feasibility of both:

The first thing I need to talk about is how I redesigned the majority of cities within the Redux. In the present day, Remnant has a global population of about 350,000,000 people, roughly distributed between 51 cities and towns. A little less than half of those cities are megacities, with populations that exceed 10 million.

While there’s a large degree of variety between them in terms of architecture and layout, functionally, most of the cities are similar to Ba Sing Se.

A thematic map of Ba Sing Se, an Earth Kingdom city in Avatar: The Last Airbender. | Source: Inkarnate.

The canon toyed with this idea back in V1, when we see Roman Torchwick studying a map of Vale’s capital. Vale is divided into various “districts”—commercial, residential, agricultural, and industrial—but the layout always felt kind of janky to me.

Like, why are the commercial and industrial districts so far away from where people live? How do people get to and from their jobs? Does the city have robust public transport—like trains and buses—in order to reduce traffic and commute times? As far as I can recall, the inner-city roads are predominantly used by cars (V2.E4). Actually, thinking back on it, I’m pretty sure that trains have only been used for intercity travel.

The SDC cargo train that passes through Forever Fall in the Black Trailer.

The subway that connects Vale’s capital and Mountain Glenn (V2.E11 - 12).

The passenger train that Oscar takes to Mistral’s capital (V4.E12).

The Argus Limited, which connects Mistral’s capital to Argus (V6.E1).

To date, the only city that has any sort of inner-city public transport is Argus. (And even then, we have no confirmation of whether or not it has to share the street with other vehicles.)

It’s just so bizarre, that in cities which are so densely populated out of necessity (due to a shortage of space not inhabited by Grimm), cars seem to be the default transport. Ba Sing Se’s layout addresses this problem by having a vast network of monorails that are free to the general public, thus freeing up the streets for people to use. (An issue which this post here does a great job discussing.)

The cities in the Redux are similar in that their layouts are optimized to make public transport efficient and accessible, while conserving space for day-to-day living. Most of the major cities have agricultural districts (just like in the canon), but they also have large parks and ecological zones that are safe for leisure and recreation. Jaune’s family wouldn’t need to travel all the way to Shion just to go camping.

Mind you, while all cities have public transport, not all public transport uses roads. Several cities in Mistral, for example, rely on airships and gondola lifts for getting around. There’s also a city in Eastern Vale called Petrichor, which is spread out across numerous islands within a lagoon. Public transport there consists primarily of waterbuses similar to the vaporetti used in Venice.

Now, as for the roads between cities, things are a little different. For starters, there aren’t a lot of them.

A (tentative) map of intercity roads across Remnant. Dark blue lines are the “main” roads; light blue lines are “minor” roads. Note: This map excludes rail lines, airship routes, and waterways.

With a handful of notable exceptions, virtually all inhabited settlements (both towns and cities) are located along these roads. The dark blue lines represent the major or “great” roads, which are directly connected to each country’s respective capital. Minor roads are depicted here in light blue, and are considered off-shoots that link out-of-the-way places to the great roads. These roads exist to primarily accommodate vehicles, although they can be traversed on foot. Why you’d want to, though, I have no idea, since these roads are technically outside of the safe zones of the settlements.

Roads are maintained by the governments of each country. Usually, the stretch of distance between settlements isn’t huge, so the roads (when broken up into individual segments) aren’t nearly as long as they look.

The main thing protecting these roads are the outposts, which are strategically placed along them. The Huntsmen stationed at outposts are trained to intercept and respond to distress signals, either from individual travelers, or (in the case of an emergency) from settlements at risk of being overwhelmed by Grimm. Without the CCTs (which made communication widespread and immediate), these outposts wouldn’t be nearly as effective.

The outposts were primarily created to give Huntsmen access to resources besides the academies. Plus, access to places where they could regroup and better coordinate themselves as needed. Part of that idea came from common sense, but the idea of them also existing to protect roads was somewhat inspired by the tambos and qullqas of the Inca road system.

On a parting note: Vale used to exclusively employ anyone with a speed Semblance as a courier. They were a lot like the chasquis of the Inca Empire.

#asks #animalia555 blog #i speak #urban environments #cities #infrastructure #huntsman outposts #the kingdoms #kingdom meta #kingdom meta asks #meta content #jaune arc #since i'm thinking about it i might as well add: #jaune and his family are from a city in western mistral called rabenda #it's a coastal megacity whose culture has hints of influence from vale #readmore

[thedilucharem]

"Huh? Taxes?"

Inspired by a fierce need to keep my mood as alleviated as possible and thoughts about how they view taxes as well as some speculative world-building as per usual. Written in one shot as beta is for cowards. Borders on crack, but I attempt to keep the authenticity of the characters alive.

One evening in Spirit's Keep . . .

Beidou: (slightly buzzed, wipes her upper lip of beer) Did I ever tell you about the time I was tax-exempt because I was clinically dead for over two minutes?

Childe: (pauses, asking in disbelief) What?

Beidou: (casually) Yeah, I get it, Liyue's tax laws get really weird once you start really thinking about them. I think you can still get tax-exempt if you're brain-dead for more than two weeks though, right?

Zhongli: (nods, holding his teacup) I believe so.

Childe: (to himself) What the actual fuck?

Zhongli: (did not hear him or did not care) This exemption was originally written into law as some individuals during the times of the Cataclysm did indeed die, but were able to come back to life through certain means and circumstances. (pondering) I believe they were legally referred to as 'the undead', though I can't think of many extreme examples like those that would apply to today's age.

Beidou: Yeah, and the loophole doesn't work even anymore either since a couple folks in the Qixing patched it up. (elbows Childe lightly, jokingly) So don't go trying to die on me, eh?

Childe: . . . would a Snezhnayan even get one of those exemptions?

Beidou: (shrugs) Probably not, as you ain't from here and they tax you different over there.

Childe: (under his breath) That was a rhetorical question. (to Diluc) Comrade, does Mondstadt have anything like that in your taxes?

Diluc: (simply) I don't pay taxes. No one in Mondstadt does.

Childe: (stupefied) Huh?

Diluc: (sighs while putting his grape juice down) Due to Mondstadt's history and recent events, the Church of Barbatos sees tax collection as 'heresy' and will actively put a stop to any attempts like it that start to pop up.

Childe: . . . But how does that even work with how your public stuff is set up?

Diluc: (matter-of-factly) Citizens are encouraged to donate and most of them do so happily. The wealthier families see it as some sort of 'honor' to fill the coffers, though it's more for the sake of tradition than anything.

Childe: And you do too?

Diluc: (coolly) My time, service, and contributions are more than payment enough.

That is a resounding no.

Childe: (slowly) . . . sure. (to Itto) And you?

Itto: Hmm? (looks up from a half-painted figurine, paintbrush in hand) What's up?

Childe: (curiously) Your taxes, comrade. How do you do them?

Itto: (genuinely) What are taxes?

Zhongli and Beidou promptly spray their respective drinks through their nostrils in surprise and shock while Diluc fishes out a handkerchief for each of them, shocked, but certainly not surprised.

Childe just becomes more numb than he looks.

Diluc: (frowns, somewhat concerned) You don't know what taxes are?

Itto: (quickly becoming indignant) What? Am I supposed to know what they are? Does it have something to do with fines or whatever?

Beidou: (chokes back her shocked laughter, blowing into the handkerchief) I mean . . . kind of, I think?

Childe: (exhales deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose) You've been alive for this long, and yet you have no idea . . . (in disbelief) How are you not in prison?

Itto: Huh? Prison? But I didn't do anything!

Zhongli: (coolly, recovered) Consider the fact that he has a deputy that likely takes care of that for him in place of himself.

Try telling me that Shinobu isn't certified in personal taxes for this specific reason.

Childe: Oh. That makes plenty of sense, actually. At least, I think so. Most other people probably do their taxes themselves, right?

Beidou: Pfft. Not me, that's for sure.

Mora-Grubber is a god at finding loopholes in tax law.

Diluc: If I have the time.

Elzer does them and that's only for exporting.

Childe: Yeah . . . I don't do mine either.

Snezhnayan bureaucracy is good at their jobs.

Itto: (nudges Zhongli's shoulder with his own, back to painting his figurine) What about you, Gramps?

Zhongli: (sips his tea, smoothly) I don't believe I've ever had to worry about that.

Hu Tao had the foresight to hire an accountant and they advised her to set aside the part of his paycheck meant for his taxes.

---

I find the idea of Mondstadters hating taxes due to the implications of a higher class of people doing it to them to be hilarious. There's also a certain strangeness the outsider attributes to the children of Liyue talking about taxes as if that's a normal thing to discuss. Itto does have an idea of money being 'taken' for certain reasons, but Shinobu has yet to break that down for him. Childe just trusts the system.

I can offer no further explanation other than because I can and because I wanted to.

#long post #beidou #childe #zhongli #diluc #arataki itto #spirit's keep #feiyun slope #liyue harbor #liyue #diluc harem au

[descendinginto-madness]

a quiet cry for help.

word count: 1636

content warnings: mentions & descriptions of health issues, medication, mentions of the character struggling to take good care of their health sometimes

summary: N/A

author's notes: i'm going to be so honest when i'm writing this i'm very sleepy idk what to say </3 emile isn't allowed to be happy this month. also once again this wasn't written with a romantic relationship in mind :3 i now see i could've added a lot more of dan heng's feelings but i'm gonna be so honest i didn't have time </3 maybe at some point i'll edit this and do that

The Astral Express Family

Emile: uhh guys

Emile: could someone lkke

Emile: come to the parol car rq lol

Emile: *parlor sorry

Dan Heng frowns slightly, reading the incoming messages. He’s sitting in the archives, working - or rather, was working, up until he saw the texts. Normally, perhaps he wouldn't pay too much attention to these messages - their tone isn't too out of place for Emile, even the typos are something common for them - but right now, he can't help but feel slightly concerned by them. There's something about them that makes him feel like something's wrong - even though he shouldn't…

Or should he?

Then, suddenly, all of the pieces fall into place and he realizes what exactly feels off for him.

He remembers how Emile looked when he saw them this morning; tired and a bit pale, like they weren't doing too well. They still smiled when they saw him, and insisted they're alright when he asked them about it, but both of them know that Emile tends to brush off their issues, whether emotional or physical. It's not a secret; neither that, nor their health issues, caused by the Stellaron remains in their body - and even if Emile did try to keep them that way, it wouldn't be possible. Not with how attentive Himeko and Mr. Yang in particular were, and with how similar some of their symptoms were to what Stelle herself has been and still sometimes is suffering from: nausea, dizziness, fevers and sometimes body pains - and though Emile's flare-ups seem to be less violent than Stelle's most of the time, they're still something not to be taken lightly.

Granted, in the morning they also didn't look like it was something extremely serious either - thankfully. He knows he's probably worrying about Emile much more than they are about themself, but even so, it was still concerning - especially since they decided to go help Himeko with something about the train engine instead of resting. 

And that's… also the part that makes his worry spark again.

If it was the two of them who needed help, Emile would've worded their question differently. If it was something only they needed help with, Himeko should be there to assist them, so they wouldn't ask - unless she isn't there anymore, because the two of them have finished their work already.

Me: What's the matter? Is everything alright?

He can't help but feel like it's a rhetorical question right now, but it's necessary; he's already distracted from his work, somewhat anxiously watching the three dots at the bottom of the screen disappear and reappear a few times, as Emile is typing.  The fact that he's the only one who has read their messages so far doesn't help - not that he's going to get angry at the others now, he'd just feel much better if he knew that if anything bad has happened, there's someone else also ready to help immediately.

Right when he's starting to think that it's taking them a worryingly long time to answer him, a reply appears.

Emile: yes and no 

Emile: i kindaaa

Emile: might've overestimated myslef lol

Emile: *myself

Emile: tried to stand up then almost fell haha 

Me: I'm on my way.

If they aren't strong enough to stand on their own then it's - obviously - a bad sign, yet they're still clearly trying to make their messages sound lighthearted. 

Of course.

He's glad the archives are the first cabin in the hallway leading to the parlor car; it takes him just a moment to get there, open the door and step inside the lounge area maybe a tiny bit too frantically - but he can't help it, he's not even entirely sure what to expect. Thankfully, though, what he sees isn't the worst case scenario that popped up in his head - Emile isn't passed out on the floor somewhere, but instead curled up on one of the couches, half wrapped in a blanket, and - most importantly - conscious.

That's about where the good things end, though; when he steps closer he can't not notice the paleness of their skin, and the sickly look on their face, almost as if they were about to throw up. But even so, they smile when they see him - their lips stretch in a faint, weak-looking smile. 

“Hi,” they say, and their voice is quiet, almost like they were afraid that even speaking too loudly is going to make them feel worse.

“What's the matter?” he asks, sitting down right next to them. “Where's Himeko?” he adds, raising his hand to touch their forehead gently; he can immediately tell it's a little too warm. Of course, they have a fever, and it’s painfully clear that it isn't the only thing bothering them right now.

“She left when we were done,” they reply. “I was almost falling asleep and ended up doing it here, I guess she just wanted to let me rest.” 

Dan Heng nods. 

“And then?"

“And then I woke up and felt awful,” they let out a quiet laugh, but it's short-lived. They hold back, as if even such a simple thing could make their nausea worse. “I… didn't know it'd get so bad so quickly,” they add. They sound almost apologetic, and Dan Heng looks at them for a moment; as much as they tend to overlook their symptoms sometimes, he doesn't doubt they're telling the truth right now. 

He nods again.

“Do you need help getting back to your room? Or would you prefer to stay here? Do you need me to get you anything?” He says, trying to sound calm, so they won't feel like he's flooding them with questions. They shake their head but, once more, it looks like they held themself back from instinctively doing it with more energy at the last minute. 

“No, Ii– well, I'd go to my room, it's just–” they pause, then look away with a quiet sigh, and he’s sure the slight red hue on their cheeks isn't a sign of any illness this time, but rather embarrassment. That's why he doesn't rush them; a few seconds pass before they speak up again, but he waits until they're ready to do so. 

“Well— I feel like I'm gonna throw up if I try to get up again,” they finally admit. He can obviously tell it isn't easy for them - he knows they often have trouble asking for help, and it's also something he understands much better than he admits.

“I can carry you back” he offers. He says that before he can properly think about it, but it's alright. They don't seem all that convinced, so he quickly reassures them. “It's fine. I won't mind.” Only then, they finally give him a small nod. He stands up and carefully slides one arm under their back, and the other - under their knees; he feels the warmth radiating off of their body as he picks them up. Soon enough something else catches his attention, though - Emile's eyes. 

Or rather, the way Emile looks - like they are about to cry. 

The two of them make eye contact and of course, Emile immediately wipes their eyes in a not so gentle manner. His expression softens a little; it's still serious, but it loses most of its usual cold.

“...Are you alright?” he asks, and it's not a rhetorical question this time - he's not inquiring about their physical well-being, both of them know how that is. This is about whatever else is on their mind right now. 

“Yes, sorry,” they reply quietly, looking away, and he shakes his head gently.

“You don't have to apologize,” he reassures them. They can't control it, after all; their health issues aren't their fault. If anything is to blame here, it's the Stellaron.

“But you said you're going to be working–”

“And since when is my work more important than your health?”

They don't reply this time, but they rest their head against his shoulder as he carries them back to their room. He slides the door open and heads straight towards the bed. He's glad to see the medicine on their nightstand; it's not like he wouldn't immediately go get it for them or look around their room if it wasn't there, but he's happy that, as it seems, Emile finally remembered about it. It could mean they don't feel guilty about using the Astral Express's stock anymore; or, well, at the very least, less than they did earlier. 

“Do you need anything?” he asks, looking around the room to check if everything is in place. It's a little messy, as always, but he supposes that's just how Emile’s place is usually going to look. Among other things left on their desk he spots a half-empty bottle of some sweet drink, but he doubts that they will want to even look at sweets in their current state. 

“Water?” they ask; he somewhat expected that. 

“Sure. Will you be alright on your own for a moment?”

When they nod he leaves the room and goes to the kitchen. He texts Himeko and Mr. Yang on his way there to inform them about Emile's state, but he also adds that everything's under control, and that it's… Less serious than it sometimes gets.

Once he comes back to their bedroom, though, with a glass of water in hand, he sees they're already asleep. 

He quietly puts the glass on the nightstand, right next to the medicine, and adjusts Emile's blanket, to make sure they're properly covered. They mumble something in their sleep when he does it, and he freezes momentarily, but they don't wake up. 

He stands there for a few seconds more, thinking - and, ultimately, he makes himself comfortable on the floor, back leaned against their bed.

He will stay there for a while, just in case.

divider by @/cafekitsune

#angstpril2024 #honkai star rail #fanfiction #day16 #cry for help #hsr #hsr oc #dan heng #tw health #tw health issues #tw self destructive behavior #(this one's just in case) #dim writing ☁️

[fussyspace]

Word count: ~70,300

Cover: A neat cover with a pretty palette, this one gives the right vibes while staying quite simple. It has something to do with planets, it has a colonisation attempt (possibly failed) and it's probably funny. Did I completely blank the fact that it was part of a series until I got to the end and wondered? Why yes, yes I did.

Blurb: 'They needed some help. They woke up the wrong guy. 'The colony ship, Odyssey Earth, is on a 17-year voyage across the galaxy to a new home. And Jordan Booth is exactly where he wanted to be – tucked up in hypersleep, with nothing to worry about until planetfall. 'However, Captain Juno Washington has other ideas. She’s got a quirky ship’s AI, Reeves, and a crew of loners and oddballs, but what she doesn’t have is anyone to look out for the Odyssey Earth’s six ship-born teenagers. 'When Jordan is revived and given the job, he’s far from happy about it. Then again, nor are the kids. Tight-knit, whip-smart, resilient – the last thing they need is a chaperone, and they make sure he knows it. 'After an unexpected change of course, everyone needs to join forces if they’re going to survive. But Jordan is out of his comfort zone – and the teenagers are in no mood to listen. Still, if they pull together and stop squabbling, they might all just make it. 'Yeah, right. Good luck with that.'

I do love the premise of Orphan Planet, and had I come across its blurb in the wild, I may have been tempted to give it a read for the novelty. (I'll be honest, the only thing putting me off would have been the prospect of encountering teenage drama, which I avoid like the plague, but thankfully the usual cringe was not present here.)

Vote to continue at 30%: Yes

Content: In my reviews, I often commit the sin of forgetting to note down all the things I like about a book and ending up with an embarrassingly long list of complaints even when I liked it. The fact that this review is quite short, then, should serve as an indication of how much I enjoyed it (or perhaps more accurately, how inoffensive I found it).

This was a pretty easy read, with light humour here and there and an interesting opening with the main character preparing to go on a colony ship. I found the fact that it switched back and forth between times at the beginning of chapters annoying at first, but settled into it. It was sometimes a bit reminiscent of William Shatner in its use of commas, and missed a few semi-colons, but was otherwise well written.

I was very amused, when it reached the part where the teacher got defrosted, to find out that the shipborn kids he would be looking after existed because the birth control didn't work and none of the mission-essential crew had the time (or necessarily skills) to look after them. The situation tickled me. And the series of videos from their old teacher that introduced them was quite poignant. It was one of those things that, on the surface, look like they should be an info dump, and probably are, but they work well.

Those videos formed a sort of primer for getting to know the kids, both for the teacher and for me as a reader. Admittedly it could be difficult at times. There were a lot of conversations where many people spoke without speech tags. Giving the benefit of the doubt, I think it was to show that the teacher didn't yet know which kid was which, or to consolidate all their speech into 'the noise of the group in general'. I found it a little annoying. I was also confused in places where question marks got used for rhetorical questions and I had to do a double take.

Spoilers for the last part of the book below.

When they accidentally landed on the wrong planet and had to trek across its surface in search of rescue, everything really came alive. The character interactions were great, and I loved seeing the little family (sarcastic AI included) forming. I did find it a little sad, as well, though, with no prospect of a rescue in sight, and therefore only the outlook of drawn-out deaths. I found myself wishing there had been some last-minute glimmer of hope in the final lines. When I discovered there was a sequel, I found my wish answered, of course, and the ending wasn't quite so sad. But on its own, it certainly gave that bittersweet impression.

Overall, Orphan Planet is an enjoyable read with great characters. While it doesn't do anything wildly out-there or leave a massive impression, I definitely recommend it.

#science fiction #self publishing #sff #spsfc #sci fi #spsfc3 #spsfc3 round 1

[realrose]

Object Analysis:

My object of choice is my Kindle. The device itself is dark blue with a clear case, and within the case lays various stickers that reflect little pieces of me. Starting with one of the largest stickers here is a sticker donning the lyrics from Hozier's "Work Song". This sticker means a lot to me because Hozier is my favorite artist of all time, with this song particularly meaning a lot. And because music is such an integral part of my life, I also have a Taylor Swift Folklore sticker as that is also another one of my favorite albums. The other four stickers do not have large backstories or reasons for being a part of the display but are just cute and eye-catching in my opinion. I love cats so I included two stickers with cats, and I also love butterflies, having the other two stickers show them. The largest and most eye-catching stickers that people first see show different aspects of my life and opinions. But what the stickers are decorating, my Kindle itself also shows pieces of my character and values. Whenever I have free time, whether it's in between classes or before bed, I will always try to read on my Kindle.

To me, my Kindle represents my curiosity and need for knowledge. While not every one of the 121 books I have on here is non-fiction and purely educational, even the fantasy and sci-fi novels foster my creativity and can show me different cultures, people, and lifestyles. And even though I love reading with physical books, hence of the one of the three bookshelves that my Kindle is seen propped up on, I love the portability of my Kindle. My preference for this format can show how hectic my day can be, going from school to work and everywhere else in between. Lately, I have yet to find the time to read as much due to College Applications and school work, but whenever I have the time, I always reach for it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What makes you special to College Admission Committees?

Your entire college process and potentially future career, lifestyle, and, many might argue, overall happiness, depends on the 650 words you’re allotted. How is someone supposed to properly express their values, diversities, and life experiences in that small amount of space? Believe it or not, this question is only one of many that high school seniors will have to ask themselves. And before you even reach this dilemma, you need to figure out what to talk about in the personal essay. What exactly are your values, diversities, and life experiences? How do they make you seem interesting and useful to the college admissions council? And what makes you, according to Forbes, one of the over 7 Million students applying to college each year, special?

I’ve never doubted myself, my values, and my skills more than I did during the application process. But it became much easier when I understood how broad the idea of diversity is, all the different forms of literacy that would make my essay stand out, and the true rhetoric of the essay. A very helpful text in this journey was “How Do I Bring Diversity? Race and Class in the College Admissions Essay”, written by Anna Kirkland and Ben B. Hansen. The main focus of this piece is the fact that “Diversity isn’t just race or culture”. This idea went against my entire preconceived notion of the term diversity, which has always been used in the sense of race or culture. But diversity also includes your interests, passions, hobbies, and other skills. Kirkland and Hansen even had an example of another college applicant who felt just like me and most of the college applicants out there. “She did not feel unusual, and she knows she is not a sought-after member of an underrepresented minority group”. This description is exactly how I felt. I don’t do anything spectacular out of school like having a passion project, you can’t find me when you search my name online, I don’t play sports or an instrument, so how am I special? While all that above is true, on the opposite side, I love scrapbooking and have been doing it for years. I started a book club with my friends in middle school, I was the middle school class president, I am the current President of a Club, and so much more. While some of that sounded a little odd to include in a college essay, those examples show a glimpse into the different diversities that I carry within myself. When thinking of how you can bring diversity to a college and what makes you unique, all your interests, hobbies, and skills are diverse and make you unique and valuable.

The next thing you need to do is to figure out how to make your diversity and uniqueness stand out and seem valuable to universities, and that goes hand in hand with understanding the different types of literacy. In the article, “Everything’s a Text”, Dan Melzer goes into detail about the different types of literacy. Literacy, along with Diversity, are terms that I feel students have misconstrued. Literacy doesn’t only refer to being able to properly read and write but also being able to recognize the different modes and literary forms used in a piece and connect them to form the main idea. What exactly are these different types of literacy? In the context of a college personal essay, some common types of literacy might be digital or visual, an essay or an art portfolio, genres, mediums, context, tone, and much more.

Another larger piece to being literate is knowing how to situate literacy. You need to take into account the “purpose, audience, persona, medium, genre, and context”(Melzer 7). For the college application essay, you are trying to show your personality, skills, diversity, and values to a College Admission Council through an essay, ultimately attempting to persuade them. While the personal essay is advertised as a free and open space, “college essays function as “deliberative” rhetoric… the writer must garner the vote of an audience that is at the best indifferent and, at worst, skeptical”. That take on the college essay comes from “The Rhetoric of College Application Essays”, written by James Warren. Warren shares the true nature of the essay and expresses the need for students to understand the rhetorical situation, which can be helped by understanding the different forms of literacy and situational literacies. Allowing them to best convince the readers that they are an essential contribution to the university.

The entire college admissions process is stressful, daunting, and tedious. It seems never-ending and impossible to complete, but it is. To make the process that much easier, you need to understand what diversity means, apply it to yourself, know the broad sense of literacy and how that can excel in your essay, and know that the Rhetoric of the essay leads you to persuade the council.

Works Cited

Kirkland, Anna, and Ben B. Hansen. “How Do I Bring Diversity?’’ Race and Class in the College

Admissions Essay.” Law & Society Review, vol. 45, no. 1, 2011, pp. 103–38. JSTOR,

http://www.jstor.org/stable/23011960. Accessed 21 Oct. 2023.

Melzer, Dan, and Deborah Coxwell-Teague. “Everything’s a Text.” Pearson Longman, 2011.

Warren, James. “The Rhetoric of College Application Essays: Removing Obstacles for Low

Income and Minority Students.” American Secondary Education, vol. 42, no. 1, 2013, pp.

43–56. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/43694176. Accessed 21 Oct. 2023.

Nietzel, Michael T. “College Applications Are Up Dramatically in 2023.” Forbes, Forbes

Magazine, 12 Sep.2023, “https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaeltnietzel/2023/03/30/college-applications-are-up-dramatically-in-2023/?sh=425d75279c4d”

[randominternetartist]

Never In Heart | chapter 2: Into The Fire

This was co-written with @emburrae, so go give them some love!

One more and we're done

This chapter took so long but we're super proud of it

The potions Techno grabs are regen, healing, invisibility, strength, swiftness, weakness, and slowness respectively

Enjoy!

Read it on AO3!

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Techno returns home tired and spent, but it seems like his battle with the Butcher Army is not over yet.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

“What?” Phil asks in a clipped tone.

Quackity steps forward. “We’re searching your house.”

Phil blocks the doorway. “No”

Quackity glares at him. “Then where’s Technoblade?”

“Why would I know?” The blonde answers, question clearly rhetorical.

“We figured you of all people would know where he’s gone to,” Fundy says.

Phil scoffs. “Have you checked his house?”

Quackity tries to push past him. “He’s not stupid enough to go back there.”

Phil pushes him back, saying, “Does it look like he came here to tell me where he was going? I saw him run off on Carl, same as you! And it’s not like there’s been time for him to come and tell me he was going.”

Fundy pushes Phil back with the help of Quackity. “You think we don’t know you have a secret base?” The fox hybrid starts.

“He would definitely have shown you where that is,” Quackity finishes as they both step inside the house with Ranboo following behind.

“Telling me would kind of go against the whole point of the base being a secret.”

Fundy scoffs. “You want me to believe you two actually keep secrets from each other?”

Quackity raises his crossbow. “Alright, I’m done fucking around. Step aside, Philza.”

Phil stares down the arrow of the crossbow. “Absolutely not.”

Quackity’s eye twitches.

Phil ducks his head to the side just as the trigger is pulled. The arrow hits the opposing wall.

Phil grabs Quackity’s arm and pulls, bringing him down on the immortal’s lifted knee.

Fundy pulls a sword from his inventory and swings it at Phil. The man lets go of the avian and steps back, edge knicking his shoulder.

Fundy steps forward and swings at Phil again. Phil ducks and dodgers as Fundy keeps attacking, all the while Quackity gasps for air. Ranboo tries to pull him back from the fight but he resists.

Phil spots an opening on Fundy’s attack and takes a swing with his claws. It’s a clear path.

Suddenly he’s deeper in the house, confused and disoriented. Arms unwrap themselves from his torso and he almost loses his footing, flaring out his wings to regain his balance.

Pain flares at his side as Fundy cuts into his arm and Phil gasps. An arrow hits his good wing, and a short scream tears itself from his throat.

Phil acts on instinct and lunges for Quackity. The man shoots another arrow, which lands on Phil’s leg, but quickly the immortal has the avian pinned under him.

Then something hard hits his temple and Phil is suddenly on the ground, a sword at his neck and a foot on his wing.

“Search the house, Fundy. I can take care of him now,” Quackity says, pointing the crossbow at Phil’s heart.

“Seriously? Mate, you’ve already torn this place apart once,” Phil says with exasperation. “What do you expect to find?”

“Search the corners and the chests, take everything out of them if you need to!”

“What?! I told you there’s no—” Phil starts but Quackity pressing the crossbow closer shuts him up quick.

“Shut the fuck up. If you say another fucking word I will shoot your eye, then your wings, then I’ll keep going until you die from bloodloss,” Quackity says with a calm facade that does nothing to hide his rage.

Phil stays quiet and watches as Fundy carelessly throws his items out of the chest; as Ranboo moves furniture and looks around at the nooks and crannies of Phil’s house; as Quackity gives the crossbow to Ranboo and joins Fundy on the search because he doesn’t think that Ranboo is doing enough. He also notices how Ranboo’s grip is loose and unsteady.

“Ranboo?” Phil whispers. He has a feeling the ender hybrid doesn’t want to be here.

The boy doesn’t speak.

“Come on, mate. You know there’s nothing here, they’re only doing this because they’re angry.”

Ranboo shifts a little and his ear twitches but he stays quiet.

“Please, Ranboo, lower the crossbow.” Phil knows he shouldn’t be messing with Ranboo like this but Quackity’s unstable and one wrong move could lead to both of them being hurt, or worse.

“Stay quiet.” Ranboo’s tone is urgent and afraid.

“Please, help me get out of here,” Phil says as calmly as he can manage. “I know you’re scared but–”

Quackity’s stomping footsteps stop Phil in his tracks. “I thought I told you to shut the fuck up, Philza!” He rips the crossbow from Ranboo’s hands and shoots Phil’s shoulder. “Next one is going on that pretty little wing of yours.” He turns to Ranboo and reaches for the boy. “As for you–”

Ranboo turns his attention towards Quackity. He notices how mad Quackity truly is just by looking at his body language. The avian grips Ranboo’s arm and with his other hand, slaps the heterochromic teen across the face. The slap was so loud that Fundy looked over his shoulder, and his jaw drops when he sees Ranboo stumble backwards a little bit.

“I thought I told you to WATCH him, not TALK to him!” Quackity yells as Ranboo’s hand instantly went up to his cheek where he had just been slapped.

Ranboo didn’t say anything as he felt the emotions running through him all at once, a feeling of fear, sadness, and a bit of anger.

Fundy narrows his eyes. “Quackity, calm down.”

The avian turns to him. “Don’t tell me-”

“No! Calm down, Q. I know you’re going through a lot right now, but that doesn’t mean you get to slap a kid.”

Quackity’s tone is still loud when he says, “You don’t get to tell me what to do!”

Fundy takes a step closer. “No, but neither do you. I’m following you by choice, and if I think you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing, like slapping a kid, then I’ll go off on my own.”

Quackity’s face is still angry as he takes a deep breath, preparing to speak—probably yell—again.

Fundy places his hands on the avian’s shoulders. “Just calm down, Quackity.”

The avian takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and slumping his shoulders. He repeats this a few more times.

“Okay,” he says after a while. “Fundy, keep searching down here, I’m gonna keep an eye on Phil, and Ranboo-” He looks at the boy. “You go search the upstairs.”

Ranboo wastes no time going upstairs, away from Quackity and the others and leaving Phil alone with them.

▬▬ι══════════════ι▬▬

TECHNOBLADE!! walks through the snow of the tundra, moving towards the wooden cabin he and Phil built.

He hopes Phil is okay. He didn’t look it when Techno passed him by: wings torn and trapped in his own house by that damn bracelet around his ankle.

He sighs, opening the door and hitting the side of his boots against the outer wall to get rid of some of the snow before walking in. He takes off his boots, places his cape on the back of one of the chairs with his crown on top of it, and collapses on the couch with a heavy sigh.

His body hurts. The totem healed him but it did nothing for the pain, most of it only an echo sensation of an injury that no longer exists, but a part from the fight he had with Quackity in his escape. All, of course, hidden by the rush of adrenaline from everything that just happened.

He hopes the revival magic didn’t heal Quackity’s eye.

Techno should take a regen pot and maybe eat a golden apple too. He knows he should, but he’s so, so tired and his body hurts like hell now that the adrenaline is fading.

He just wants to sleep.

He might bleed out or have severe blood loss issues when he wakes up if he doesn’t drink a potion.

Technoblade considers getting off the couch, but when he moves, spikes of pain flare all over his body. Fuck. He really doesn’t want to get up, he wants to take a nap.

But he knows it’ll only get worse. If he takes a nap, then when he wakes up the pain will be worse than it is now. So, he takes a deep breath and pushes himself off the couch, pausing periodically to steady himself and let the haze of pain fade as much as it could.

He takes slow steps towards the chest, kneeling down once he reaches it and opening the lid.

Reaching in, he grabs a bottle with a pink-grey potion and a golden apple. Technoblade opens the cork and downs the potion in two big gulps then sets the bottle aside, waiting for it to kick in.

It takes some moments for him to feel like he’s able to move again, but once he does, he gets up and starts eating the golden apple as he sets off back to the sofa to sit down and rest now he’s healed more.

He kicks his legs up above the arm of the couch, letting his feet dangle off the edge as he looks up. He stares at the wooden boards of the ceiling, the straight lines with occasional perpendicular lines connecting two of the other ones, making random breaks in the hypnotic pattern.

He thinks about Phil. How he’ll get his friend out and what could possibly happen to him now that the Butcher army failed to kill Techno. Would they try to hurt Phil? Would they leave him alone and focus on Techno himself? Have they given up on his execution? Would they execute Phil instead as some sort of sick, twisted revenge?

A pang of fear shoots through Techno’s heart. No, he reasons, they wouldn’t kill him, he has nothing to do with this. Quackity isn’t like that and Tubbo wouldn’t let him either way.

‘I wouldn’t put it past him.’ 

‘You hold him too highly…’

‘You give him way too much credit.’

‘He kind of already did…’

‘Quiet!’

‘SHUT IT!’

‘No! Don’t SPOIL!’

‘Zip it!’

‘What if we KILL Quackity?

‘Nah Techno already-’’

‘No one appreciates my ideas!’

“Chat you’re weird… and we’re not going to kill Quackity without a reason…” Techno pipes in, annoyed at Chat’s argument.

‘Oh well, we kind of already have one-’

‘SHUT. IT. CHANT TO TONE HIM OUT!! NOW!’

‘Blood For The Blood God!’

‘BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!’

‘No, let-”

‘ BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! ’

‘ BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! ’

Not far away from Techno’s cabin, a crow is flying through the air at a high speed. It gracefully lands on one of the window sills, where it has a clear view of Technoblade through the window. 

The crow squawked for a few seconds before growing mildly impatient, and began tapping on the window, trying to make as much noise as possible to attract the man’s attention. 

After a while, the tapping got louder… much, much louder than when it first started. 

Techno stays lost in his thoughts, worry for his friend plaguing his mind, not even paying attention to the multitude of voices screaming for his attention.

A loud thump startles him into action as his brain screams danger is near. He grabs a crossbow and points at the source of the noise, the weapon aimed and ready with his finger on the trigger.

Then he notices the source of the noise alongside the tapping.

Crows, Phil’s crows , tap at the window. One lays on the windowsill unmoving while the others tap their beaks against the glass the way they always do when they want attention.

Technoblade takes a breath, calming his beating heart and reassuring himself there is no danger now. Not anymore.

The feeling lingers.

He moves toward the window and lifts the lower pane open, allowing the crows to enter.

They quickly file in until the only one left outside is the one lying motionless.

Techno picks them up, gently taking them inside and checking them for injuries of any sort. Phil taught him how to recognize injuries in crows with the long rants and one-sided conversations Techno loved listening to.

The crow seems to have hit something solid at full speed. Techno is surprised the window didn’t break.

‘Ha, dumb crow.’

‘Do you think they hit it on purpose?’

Techno drowns out chat as the other crows caw around him and nip at his clothing, hair, and skin. It’s when one starts messing with his emerald earring that turns his attention to them.

“Don’t nip at that one,” he says, lightly slapping the crow away from him. It flies away and settles on top of his cape, then taps their beak on his crown.

He looks at the other crows. There are more than the usual group that comes to annoy him and they all seem to be trying to bring his attention to various items like swords, shields, potions, armour, and other things he’d use in a fight.

Maybe the Butcher Army isn’t above hurting innocent people for petty revenge.

‘That’s what I’ve been saying!’

‘No SPOILERS!’

“What’s going on?” Technoblade asks, his body tensing as he stands to his full height.

‘Phil needs help!’

‘Quiet!’

The crows keep going with the exception of two who proceed to tap at pictures of Phil and then at Techno’s injuries.

‘The crows are literally telling him right now, I don’t see why I can’t say anything!’

‘I think he just wants to bully you.’

“Phil’s hurt?” They nod their heads excitedly then move to the door. “Do I need to go get him now?” They nod again, more solemnly this time. “Oh, Phil, the things I do for you,” he mutters, walking to the chest of potions and grabbing two more of the pink-grey mixtures as well as some red, cloudy white, yellow, light blue, dark grey, and dirty grey-blue potions. He also takes a few more arrows before heading out the door, cape on his shoulders, crown atop his head, and a call for blood and revenge in his ears.

He will not let the Butcher Army hurt him or Phil any more.

#technoblade #philza #mcyt fanfiction #fanfiction #butcher army #minecraft mechanics #minecraft #minecraft fanfiction #dream smp #angst #this is about the characters not the real people #depictions of violence #fighting #blood and injury #ranboo #ranboo is too sweet #tubbo is visiting tommy. that's why he's not here #fundy #quackity is livid and taking it out of everybody else #phil and techno deserve a break #(they'll get one) #technoblade hears voices #technoblade's chat #chat is almost omnicient but they don't want to spoil shit #potions #Never In Heart

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: March 2023

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of March 2023 to make sure that they are never forgotten. 

It was once again time for Suella Braverman to become the Main Character of the Tory party, with her once again returning to the well of demonising migrants while making no mention of how the Tories have closed safe routed to create the migrant “crisis” they are proposing a final solution to

...while the ultra-relatable nice guy Rishi Sunak supported her rhetoric to the point he stood behind a lectern featuring the slogan “Stop The Boats” emblazoned on it shortly afterwards, demonstrating what a strong leader he is by blindly nodding along to far-right rhetoric from somebody he was too scared to leave outside the cabinet

...while an email signed by Suella Braverman was sent out criticising civil servants of being an “activist blob” whose lefty ways backed by Labour was stopping them getting their job done, yet strangely when that email received a ton of backlash the immediate Tory response was to claim that Braverman had never written or read that email with her signature on it, as if there isn't a track record of Braverman and emails - which, you know, is the reason why Liz Truss had a momentary blip of sense and sacked her

...so what did Stephen Kinnock offer in response in his role as Shadow Migration Minister?  The exact same rhetoric about how the Tories have failed by letting so many migrants into this country, plus the cost it is adding to our economy...which sounds exactly like the shite Braverman was saying

...and then Suella Braverman jetted off to Rwanda for a PR trip where only the Daily Mail, Daily Express, Daily Telegraph, The Times and GB News to join her for the ride  due to them being “friendly” to the government, so friendly in fact that they neglected to mention the minor fact that the building site she posed in front of while cackling maniacally and joked about hiring their interior decorator wasn't even a site used for migrants, it was a random housing estate she posed near because she needed photos of her near a building site to “justify” the trip

...and then along came Rael Braverman to howl to the Daily Mail about how that big, bad Gary Lineker called his wife a Nazi.  Except for the fact that Lineker did not at any point call Suella Braverman a Nazi.  Or the fact that it took Rael Braverman three weeks after the whole nontroversy had dissipated into vapour before going crying to the Mail to try and reheat the whole thing.  Must be a happy couple there...

Nobody ever accuse Matt Hancock of having the full compliment of sandwiches for a picnic at the best of times, but his genius idea of handing Isabel Oakeshott his full WhatsApp history in order to write his diaries (to make up for the fact he never kept a diary) rapidly came back to bite him in the backside when Oakeshott handed over the complete logs to the Daily Telegraph almost as soon as the book was on shelves and the Telegraph has been dripfeeding the most salacious bits to expose Hancock’s rank incompetence when dealing with Covid to the wider world, which is hardly the first time Oakeshott has shanked a source in the back to shit-stir - but this has also emboldened Covid truthers such as the Telegraph or her boytoy Richard Tice

...although it seems that, while Isabel Oakeshott did so to make the story about herself, she really didn't like the story being all about her once people were asking relevant questions such as why a Murdoch-contracted so-called journalist would happily hand over a scoop to a rival paper

Of course the BBC decided to make a big show of how they would inform, educate and entertain Gary Lineker about their impartiality rules after he posted a tweet likening Suella Braverman’s rhetoric towards migrants as those of 1930s Germany - which of course is shared equally, as we’ve seen all the times they have publicly condemned Fiona Bruce or Laura Kuenssberg for flagrantly breaking impartiality rules and even Electoral Law on the air, let alone the various times Alan Sugar has tweeted against striking workers, going into lockdown, Labour under Jeremy Corbyn, or getting triggered by pedestrian crossings

...and then the BBC decided to inform, educate and entertain the public about how untrustworthy they are when saying that Lineker was stepping back from hosting that weekend’s Match of the Day, only for it to turn out they suspended him and lied about it - which saw pundits Ian Wright, Alan Shearer, Alex Scott, Micah Richards and Jermaine Jenas all walk out in solidarity, and Match of the Day to be a surreal twenty minute long sequence of clips

...so of course Laura Kuenssberg weighed in with her opinion on the entire situation, which consisted of her reading out anti-Lineker messages on her show, which was as revealing as the time Tim Davie was asked if he would have acted if Lineker tweeted in support of the Tories and backpedalled so fast he created a vacuum

...although don't count out GB News for when they try to make themselves look like the biggest bunch of bellends over the whole situation, as their Alternative Match of the Day not only had a title begging for the BBC to bitchslap them for copyright, but was such a shoddy exercise that they had to make homophobic comments about Brighton fans so all six viewers would stop people cringing themselves to death

TERF dictator Posie Parker probably shouldn't chuckle while making the obligatory right-wing shithead Matrix reference at one of her heavies dragging a woman off stage at her TERF rally in Melbourne, because that's the sort of thing that makes her “Let women speak” mantra as much of a punchline as the neo Nazis who showed up to give Parker their support

...although a few days later Posie Parker tried staging another rally in Hobart which the grand total of ten supporters showed up for compared to a significantly larger number of people who showed up telling her to do one, causing her to have the sort of public meltdown usually reserved for Antonio Conte post-match press conferences after letting a 3-1 lead to Southampton slip where she inadvertently torpedoed the standard defence of her TERFiness by saying she wasn't a feminist 

...and because Posie Parker hadn't quite finished her Australian shitshow tour, at the rally in Canberra her heavies shoved Senator Lidia Thorpe to the ground in full view of cameras, so apparently “Let Women Speak” only applies to women who agree with Parker and those who don’t are on Parker’s list of people to be annihilated

...but because Posie Parker thought her antipodean tour wasn't enough of a shitshow, so she decided to visit Auckland next...and not only did her attempt at staging a rally fail miserably and see her getting out of Dodge within fifteen minutes when she was told to do one while coated in a thin layer of tomato soup, she not only fled Auckland but fled the whole of New Zealand on the first available flight

Billionaire manchild Elon Musk continues his quest for Employer of the Year by responding to Haraldur Þorleifsson’s tweet asking if he had been fired by Twitter or not, as he had no other means to contact Musk, by mocking him for the LULZ and then trying to claim he wasn't as disabled as he claimed in order to work from home because he was posting tweets when he should be working (an irony not lost on non-Musk simps) - which isn't a good look due to  Þorleifsson living with muscular dystrophy and having to use a wheelchair for twenty years, and that's before Twitter’s lawyers clearly informed Musk that  Þorleifsson had a $100m termination clause in his contract, at which point Musk very quickly backed down and rehired him

...and then billionaire manchild Elon Musk had the genius idea of announcing that, from April 1st, all legacy verified accounts would lose their verified status so if you wanted that blue tick you had to pay for it, while also announcing that the For You tab (aka the tab with all the shite Musk’s algorithm is shoving into your feed, starting with Musk’s tweets) would only be available for the $8 gang

It didn't take long for Michael Knowles to go from saying that he wasn't calling for genocide of the trans community to saying fuck it, he wants the trans community eradicated and salt spread on the earth to prevent any trans community growing in its place, did it?

Because it's been a while since proven liar Boris Johnson did something self-centred and self-serving, proven liar Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson suggested putting his father’s name forward for a knighthood, which technically means Caligula is owed an apology as making his horse Consul is a marginally less insane move

...and then Fiona Bruce had the most logical response to a Question Time panellist bringing up Stanley Johnson breaking his wife’s nose once by cutting the panellist off and saying he only did it once - which not only fucked up the BBC’s claims of impartiality but also trustworthiness, given he’s been accused of beating women multiple times.  By the way, this was on the episode which aired on International Women’s Day.  Funnily enough, she soon had to give up her ambassador role with domestic abuse charity Refuge

...but apparently Fiona Bruce is the victim in all of this, definitely not the woman whose nose was broken in a domestic abuse incident which she handwaved away while pretending the various other incidents didn't happen, it was social media's fault she had to give up her role with refuge and definitely not her giving a one-sided version of events that was also factually incorrect

Unifying force Keir Starmer once again proved his dedication to HIS party by allowing Mike Gapes back into the Labour party.  Yes, that is the same Mike Gapes whose name is all over the Labour Leaks we’re supposed to pretend doesn't exist, who stood against Labour as an Independent Change For Change Group candidate in 2019 so should be disqualified as a potential MP by the party’s own rules, and voted against the customs union proposals in Commons before trying to say Brexit was Labour's fault 

...and that's before the minor issue of Keir Starmer’s Labour Party not only giving ‘Nam flashbacks to Jo Swinson’s Liberal Democrats, but also being revealed to have ignored the findings of the Forde Report, a report which he commissioned, because the findings didn't say “Corbyn Bad Man” as he hoped - which the BBC also weren't happy with, hence they asked Martin Forde to remove criticism of the corporation from the report - which led to Martin Forde having to publicly state that Labour had refused to act upon the recommendations of his report

...and then the excuse Keir Starmer’s Labour Party barring Jeremy Corbyn from standing as an Labour MP at the next election truly beggared belief, as their entire argument is he lost the 2019 election as Labour leader - which begs the question why they aren't trying to shove Ed Miliband out the door given he lost the 2015 election as leader and saw the Scottish vote practically wiped out

Chocolate teapot Ofcom stated that there is a perfectly valid reason why they will not act when Tory MPs use their bully pulpit on GB News to spread outright lies which just so happens to benefit the Tory party, and that perfectly valid reason is that GB News is not a news channel.  In spite having the word “News” in their name.  And their channel slogan is “Britain’s News Channel”.  And their YouTube channel and Instagram profile saying they provide “news, opinion & debate for all the UK”.  Don't suppose the Advertising Standards Authority fancy stepping in?

Walking chaff Lee Anderson continues to spew out increasingly batshit attempts at distraction that sound uncannily like they were generated by a Daily Mail AI bot, be it claiming that a definitely very real family who use the food bank in his constituency are regularly seen at McDonalds, or saying how he agrees with people who throw bottles at hotels housing migrants, or the age-old “My dad fought the Nazis and I support sinking migrant boats” chestnut.  So, of course, it was inevitable he would wind up as a GB News host by month's end

There’s something quite pathetic about proven liar Boris Johnson trying to suggest that the reason he misled parliament was because his advisors neglected to tell him not to mislead parliament, which has a remarkable amount of “One of the bigger boys told me to do it, sir” energy to it

Minister for Women Kemi Badenoch showed her level of aptitude to be Minister of Women by dismissing a pilot scheme on menopausal leave as “left-wing”, because apparently the menopause is a symptom of that woke mind virus we’ve been hearing so much about

Noted murderer Amanda Knox is once again doing the thing where, if something is trending on Twitter about studying abroad, she pops up with the exact same “Well I had a bad time studying abroad, tee hee” joke.  Yes, Amanda, as we all know the true victim of you murdering Meredith Kircher while studying abroad was Amanda Knox

This month it was Peter Hitchen who decided to try the “hiTtLUh wuZ a sOshULiSt” line of argument in a particularly demented Mail article.  As in, demented even for the Daily Mail’s output

...so demented that Petronella Wyatt came rushing to Hitchen’s defence agreeing with every spittle-encrusted word of it, as Wyatt continued to make aggressive moves into the void left by Isabel Oakeshott’s sudden decrease is dreadful takes by reactionary right-wing hacks, as if Alison Pearson, Dan Hodges and Julia Hartley-Brewer weren't already long established in that space

So has Bethany Mandel worked out what the word “woke” means yet, or is she going to need yet more press and TV interviews where she whines about her career being sabotaged by anything other her public demonstration that she has no clue what the words she throws around like confetti at a particularly dreary wedding and turned into a corn cob in front of everybody's eyes?

Of course Kari Lake is still banging on about how the Arizona gubernatorial election which she lost was rigged.  What else is she going to do?  Get a real job?

The boneheads at Turning Point UK really excelled themselves this time, organising a protest against a drag show outside of a pub which wasn't staging one, as it had been cancelled months before Turning Point even got wind of it

...and yes, before you ask, it wasn't long before Lawrence Fox was also jumping on that grift in the vain hope that somebody might remember he’s alive

Cretin’s idea of an intellectual Jordan Peterson posted a photo of milking fetish porn and tried to pass it off as evidence of China's sinister means of repopulation.  There is literally nothing I can add to that sentence, is there? 

Self-appointed racism czar David Baddiel showed what an authority he is on the subject by saying that fascism and socialism are the same thing because Nazi posters from the 1930s look similar to communist posters from the 1930s.  The fact that posters by the British and American governments of the 1930s also look similar to them, as do advertisements for soup or baked beans, appear to have gone over his head

Somebody should tell Ben Shapiro that, yes, a school lunch is a solution to child hunger.  Eating at least one meal a day tends to do that

Past it shouter at clouds Jim Cornette really pushed the boat out to appeal to his incel fanbase, responding to Riho deactivating her Twitter because Cornette-inspired incels kept making creepy comments about her by going on some completely demented rant where he effectively called Hana Kimura “weak” - yes, that would be the Hana Kimura who committed suicide after a cyberbullying campaign against her - as an excuse to rant and rave about Riho to the sealioning of his incel fanbase

I would ask Danny Lemoi how that course of invermectin is working out for him, but I would need to hold a séance to do so due to Lemoi dying as a direct result of taking daily doses of invermectin, which I suppose got him before the course of homegrown cyanide he was suggesting to his followers

With WrestleMania Weekend in full effect it was Rick Steiner who got the worst headlines of the weekend after yelling a bunch of transphobic insults at Gisele Shaw, because apparently being seen as the (marginally) less abrasive Steiner Brother for decades stuck in his craw

Nepo baby you will never hear about again Alfie Brown probably needs more material than “All Corbynites are antisemites, LOL”...oh wait, he does have a lot more material, mainly where he's throwing out racial slurs or doing routines about how he’d have sex with a 14 year old girl if it wasn't illegal, which reflected really well on both David Baddiel and Rachel Riley when when they were only too happy to gleefully retweet Brown's comments in “solidarity”.  LOL...

Particularly bad look from James Stephanie Sterling where they sacked their longtime editor Justin McDaniel and tried to frame them as emotionally and financially abusive - only for McDaniel to issue a statement saying that was complete bollocks, and that Sterling was blurring the line between being a friend and an employer to ask McDaniel to move across state lines at one point, before trashing McDaniels’ reputation when a line was drawn - and further didn't help things by acting as if the situation wasn't happening, behaviour Sterling has (rightly) criticised numerous game devs of for years, and then thought making an oblique reference to not apologising as a joke for not liking Kid Icarus Uprising was a good idea

It says a lot that the porn bots did a better job of fixing the problem with porn bots than Tumblr ever managed - even if that job is mainly getting dozens of follows from blank accounts instead of more obviously porn botty ones

Congratulations to Gwyneth Paltrow for her utterly asinine assertion that you can't get skin cancer from sunbathing as the sun is natural and, therefore, not harmful.  Thanks to you sterling efforts, anybody whose uses arsenic as a poison now has the perfect defence of “Arsenic can't be harmful, it's natural”

Remember how, just a month ago, GB News attempted to insert a clause in Mark Steyn’s contract making him personally liable for any Ofcom fines incurred by him blurting out yet more Covid truther gibberish on the air?  Well, it appears that GB News forgot that little detail when they were hit with an Ofcom fine for Mark Steyn blurting out Covid truther gibberish on air and the channel's response was to issue a statement claiming they were disappointed with the decision

And finally, when not busy laundering $8m worth of Russian cash through Truth Social, is Donald Trump spectacularly losing his shit with an ALL CAPS RANT where, when not dogwhistling about George Soros, once again said the 2020 election was “STOLLEN” like the fruitcake he is.  Has anyone actually taken the time to show him that Downfall clip?  He might need to watch it soon, to take his mind off that whole getting "INDICATED” thing...

#dickheads of the month

[makingqueerhistory]

it's transmisogynist of you to assume you can say something is or isn't "TERF rhetoric" when neither of you are transfem.

come at the problem from a different angle

Since the beginning of this project, I have made a point not to discuss my own life in depth. You have no way of knowing my gender, whether I am cisgender, transgender, genderfluid, or nonbinary. You also know almost nothing about the gender of Dean, the editor of this project. This assumption that both of us are cisgender is not harmless.

Remember Becky Abertalli? She is the author of Simon VS. The Homo sapiens Agenda, well I want to quote something she wrote:

"Having your book adapted to a film brings a lot of notoriety and attention, especially online, and it’s not always the fun kind. Unsurprisingly, there was quite a bit of discourse about my identity — how could there not be? Love, Simon was the first gay teen rom com to be released widely by a major film studio, and it was based on a book written by an allocishet woman. Yes, the film’s director was openly gay. No, not everyone cared (frankly, a lot of people still don’t know Love, Simon was based on a book). But in many online spaces, my straightness was a springboard for some — legitimately important — conversations about representation, authenticity, and ownership of stories. And for some people, my straightness was enough to boycott the film entirely.

Then Leah on the Offbeat came out about a month later, and the discourse exploded all over again. There were thinkpieces based on the premise that I, a straight woman, clearly knew nothing about being a bi girl. There were tweets and threads and blog posts, and just about every single one I came across mentioned my straightness. And when Leah debuted on the NYT list, authors I admired and respected tweeted their disappointment that this “first” had been taken by a straight woman. Of course, Leah wasn’t the first f/f YA book to hit the New York Times list. And maybe people were wrong about the other stuff too. But the attention and scrutiny were so overwhelming, and it all hurt so badly, I slammed the lid down on that box and forgot I’d ever cracked it open.

At least I didn’t remember I remembered.

I deleted the sexuality labels from my website. I declined to answer certain questions in interviews. I’d get quietly, passionately indignant when people made assumptions about other authors’ gender identities and sexualities. And I’d feel uncomfortable, anxious, almost sick with nerves every time they discussed mine.

And holy shit, did people discuss. To me, it felt like there was never a break in the discourse, and it was often searingly personal. I was frequently mentioned by name, held up again and again as the quintessential example of allocishet inauthenticity. I was a straight woman writing shitty queer books for the straights, profiting off of communities I had no connection to.

Because the thing is, I called myself straight in a bunch of early interviews.

But labels change sometimes. That’s what everyone always says, right? It’s okay if you’re not out. It’s okay if you’re not ready. It’s okay if you don’t fully understand your identity yet. There’s no time limit, no age limit, no one right way to be queer.

And yet a whole lot of these very same people seemed to know with absolute certainty that I was allocishet. And the less certain I was, the more emphatically strangers felt the need to declare it. Apparently it was obvious from my writing. Simon’s fine, but it was clearly written by a het. You can just tell. Her books aren’t really for queer people.

You know what’s a mindfuck? Questioning your sexual identity in your thirties when every self-appointed literary expert on Twitter has to share their hot take on the matter. Imagine hundreds of people claiming to know every nuance of your sexuality just from reading your novels. Imagine trying to make space for your own uncertainty. Imagine if you had a Greek chorus of internet strangers propping up your imposter syndrome at every stage of the process.

The thing is, I really do believe in the value of critically discussing books, particularly when it comes to issues of representation. And I believe in the vital importance of Ownvoices stories. Most of the identities represented in my books are Ownvoices. But I don’t think we, as a community, have ever given these discussions the care and nuance they deserve.

Consider the origin of the Ownvoices hashtag. It was created in 2015 by author Corinne Duyvis, with the purpose of highlighting stories written by authors who share the same marginalized identities as their characters. But Corinne has always emphasized caution when it comes to using Ownvoices to determine which authors can tell which stories. And she’s been incredibly clear and emphatic about not weaponizing the term to pressure authors to disclose private aspects of their identities.

So why do we keep doing this? Why do we, again and again, cross the line between critiquing books and making assumptions about author identities? How are we so aware of invisible marginalization as a hypothetical concept, but so utterly incapable of making space for it in our community?

Let me be perfectly clear: this isn’t how I wanted to come out. This doesn’t feel good or empowering, or even particularly safe. Honestly, I’m doing this because I’ve been scrutinized, subtweeted, mocked, lectured, and invalidated just about every single day for years, and I’m exhausted. And if you think I’m the only closeted or semi-closeted queer author feeling this pressure, you haven’t been paying attention.

And I’m one of the lucky ones! I’m a financially independent adult. I can’t be disowned. I come from a liberal family, I have an enormous network of queer friends and acquaintances, and my livelihood isn’t even remotely at risk. I’m hugely privileged in more ways than I can count. And this was still brutally hard for me. I can’t even imagine what it’s like for other closeted writers, and how unwelcome they must feel in this community.

Even as I write this, I’m bracing for the inevitable discourse — I could draft the twitter threads myself if I wanted to. But I’d rather just make a few things really clear. First, this isn’t an attempt to neutralize criticism of my books, and you’re certainly entitled to any reactions you might have had to their content. Second, I’m not asking you to validate my decision to write Simon (or What If It’s Us, or mlm books in general).

But if I can ask for something, it’s this: will you sit for a minute with the discomfort of knowing you may have been wrong about me? And if your immediate impulse is to scrutinize my personal life, my marriage, or my romantic history, can you try to check yourself?

Or how about this: can we all be a bit more careful when we engage in queer Ownvoices discourse? Can we remember that our carelessness in these discussions has caused real harm? And that the people we’re hurting rarely have my degree of privilege or industry power? Can we make space for those of us who are still discovering ourselves? Can we be a little more compassionate? Can we make this a little less awful for the next person?"

Hello, I am the next person. I am the author who isn't lucky enough to disclose every single one of their marginalizations on social media, and I deserve better than this.

If you have a problem with any of the points I made, feel free to share that, but you do not get to assign me an identity just so you can attack me for it.

#answered #I usually try not to answer hate #but this got under my skin #queer history #lgbt history #lgbt #queer #this person was also particularily persistent in getting this criticism to me

[dalishious]

The Whiteness of Rebellion in Dragon Age

The recent “Freedom Truck Convoy” nonsense here in Canada has made me reflect on how Indigenous peoples are treated like terrorists when we try to protect our lands and waters, but when white nationalists literally storm Ottawa, they are coddled like babies.

[Related Article: ‘We just get violence:’ Is there an inequality gap when it comes to protesting?]

[Related Video: Leah Gazan speaks on the Emergency's Act]

And now I cannot help but look at the way BioWare writes their different rebellions in a similar contrast.

I love a good rebellion story as much as the next cool person. When told well, they are a source of hope and inspiration. The world of Dragon Age is chalked full of rebellion, past and present. Heck, the largest religious organization was formed in worship of a woman who led a slave uprising against the Tevinter Imperium. And yet, most portrayals of rebellion in the franchise have been either angsty backdrop, or from a perspective where the rebels are at best “morally grey”, or at worst straight-up written as villains.

The big exception to this is The Stolen Throne novel, where Maric, Loghain and Rowan and the rebels serve as the heroic protagonists fighting back against Orlesian occupation. So why is it when Dalish elves fight back against Orlesian occupation, they are s*vages who “just need to forgive”? Why is it when fog warriors fight back against Tevinter and Qunari occupation, they are nothing but backdrop fodder for character angst, rather than ever given any agency or detail of their own?

The Stolen Throne tells the tale of how Ferelden wins back its independence from Orlesian invasion and occupation, which lasted from 8:24 Blessed to 9:00 Dragon. The Orlesian military controls Ferelden with cruelty and oppression against the native inhabitants. King Meghren rules with a fearsome fist, and delights in abusing his power. The rebels amass a large group of people who tire of this control, and join in the efforts to fight for their freedom and regain independence. It is a long and uphill battle, told as an exciting, classic kind of tale that hits all the beats expected of it. There is no black and white or “grey morality”; the Orlesian occupiers are the bad guys, and the Fereldan rebels are the good guys. Even when the Fereldans are put in a position to make tough decisions, like sacrificing people to save others, it is always written as holding the moral high ground over the Orlesians.

Both Ferelden and the Dales were/are occupied by Orlais. Both have rebelled/do rebel against the Orlesian invaders. But when it comes to the Ferelden Rebellion, no one ever begs the question, “maybe the Fereldans should just forgive the Orlesians,” “maybe the Fereldans should accept the past as the past, despite the fact that the occupation is ongoing,” or “maybe the Fereldans deserved to be violently invaded because they didn’t just let Orlais take over.” And yet, you cannot go three minutes without hearing those very notions about elves versus Orlesian occupation of the Dales. Sometimes written from the mouths of elves themselves!

What is the difference? One rebellion is coded as white, while the other is coded as Indigenous.

[Related Post: Indigenous Coding in the Elves of Dragon Age]

The Fereldans are brave freedom fighters with the moral right. The elves are trouble-makers who need to “get over it”. The Fereldans get to tell their own stories of struggle and are taken seriously. The elves are whiny complainers who need to “get over it”. The Fereldans win, because the good guys always win. The elves are put down time and time again, and need to “get over it”. “Just get over it.” How many times have I been told this myself? How many times have Indigenous peoples collectively been told we need to just “get over it”? It is no surprise this same rhetoric is used in the Dragon Age franchise, when the Indigenous stand-ins try to fight back against colonialism.

[Related Post: “Old” Wounds]

Another example of how whiteness is relative to the treatment of rebellion in Dragon Age, is the Fog Warriors. The Fog Warriors are a group of natives to Seheron fighting for independence from both Tevinter and Qunari invaders, who are in turn fighting each other for control over the island. (Being a northern island, they are coded as people of colour.) This is a long-time ongoing conflict, and yet despite this, we know next to nothing about them. They are only treated as backdrop flavour, off in the distance. We have even had three characters who have been on Seheron and interacted with the Fog Warriors! Sten, Fenris, and Iron Bull. But they share so little about them that they don’t matter much. Fenris speaks the most, having lived among them for some time, and yet even he says very little. It rings familiar of the “it only happens over there, so it’s not important” notion that permeates western nation views on real life violence. I’m not saying we need to be there for it—although I certainly would not deny I have a huge interest in visiting Seheron someday in the games—but there is so much untapped potential to flesh them out, even if just in lore texts, like the codex entries. There is one single codex entry told form the perspective of a Seheron native, over the course of three games. [Link]

There is an unfairness in the differences between how these rebellions are written about. The unfairness comes from the differences in the rebellions themselves. It paints a clear picture: Your struggle only matters if you’re white. What a lovely message. //sarcasm

#dragon age #rebellion #meta

[my-darling-boy]

Genuinely asking, isn't self-diagnose with a condition kind of dangerous? Because legitimizing self-diagnosing opens a door to many malicious people who would want to exploit the fact they can self-diagnose? And in turn, make the space of autistic people worse?

Was going to skip this, but I’m writing a LONG response because I’m VERY exhausted with the amount of misinformation I see on this “self dx is dangerous” take, so buckle up and allow me to info dump.

Recently, authentic_autism_advocacy, an Instagram account run by a supposed medically diagnosed autistic woman was discovered to be a non-autistic woman, Connie Manning, posing as a medically diagnosed autistic person to spread hate and anti-self diagnosing speech. In reality, she is a neurotypical mother who regularly uses her autistic son for clout; she also turned out to have a hand behind CalmWear, a brand of sensory compression products designed for disabled people. Not only had she been spewing hatred towards other autistic people, she had been accusing well known AFAB autistic tiktokers like beckspectrum of faking being autistic and threatening self diagnosed autistics and saying they are a danger to the community, and engaging in other incredibly discriminating behaviour. Yes, she herself was a neurotypical person posing as a medically diagnosed autistic to perpetuate hateful rhetoric about self diagnosed people and used her voice to speak OVER autistic folk for financial gain and exploitation of autistic people, including her own son. If you want to read this roller coaster of a story, an autistic person wrote an entire article on it with tons of screenshots and sources.

So let me make one thing clear to you.

The purpose of actually, genuinely self diagnosing is not done to attract attention or to parade around and exploit other autistic people. Self diagnosed autistic individuals have recognised due to difficult life circumstances, financial hardship, bigotry and stigma within the medical/legal world, being a minor, lack of insurance, lack of proper access to safe care facilities, being denied assessment due to incompetent or biased practitioners, and/or any other obstacle that they may temporarily or permanently be barred from diagnosis. Self diagnosis does NOT instantly mean a person is posing for clout, nor does it indicate a person is trying to wring money from assistance services or exploit other autistics. And nts who use self diagnose with intentions of harming the community? That’s NOT self diagnosis, that’s abuse of something meant to aid people blocked from medical care or financial means to that care. All we can do for autistic people, no matter who we perceive them to be, is treat them the same way we would any other autistic person. Because the moment you start deciding by your own book who deserves respect and who doesn’t, you’ll be on a slippery slope to locking out thousands of autistic people from the community. If it’s discovered a person like Connie is literally abusing the system of self dx to intentionally mislead the community, by all means, we must hold them accountable. But you cannot simply go about granting and revoking access from people just because someone lacks a diagnosis or doesn’t fit your idea of what being autistic looks like, especially if it’s based on stereotypes.

Moral of the story? Isn’t it ironic how anti-self dx people will 100% believe a user who claims to be medically diagnosed but shows no “written proof” of it, yet always demand written proof from a self dx person? It’s almost like even anti-self dx people can’t tell the difference between someone who is medically diagnosed autistic and someone who isn’t. Well, that’s because they can’t. While there might be common traits, autism has no set model, it is a spectrum, no autistic person is alike; Policing self diagnosed people about their self diagnosis isn’t a form of protecting the community. It’s a form of gatekeeping. If you find yourself granting instant acceptance, without asking for proof, to a person insisting they are medically diagnosed like this neurotyical mother, but then prohibit self dx people from entry entirely on the grounds of not showing proof of medical assessment, you are upholding a double standard. This is why policing autistic people’s diagnosis, self or not, is inherently useless.

So here’s the thing... instead of asking people to stop self diagnosing, what you should instead be asking yourself is, “Why do people self diagnose? What kind of medical system could possibly be in place where people feel they need to resort to self diagnosis rather than get an actual diagnosis?”

Well, it’s mainly common knowledge among most of the autistic community that diagnosis is NOT easy to come by.

One of the main reasons why people cannot get a diagnosis is due to financial/insurance reasons. It’s reasonable to estimate that by the end of 2020 almost 30 million Americans alone were without health insurance. I’ve heard costs out of pocket for an autism diagnosis are between $500-$6000. If a person or a family cannot afford health insurance—which by the way on average is around $5,400 a year for a single person and $13,800 for a family here—where are they supposed to pull out $6,000 to get screened?

You might be asking, “Well aren’t insurances supposed to cover disability?” Sure, there are options for disability care through health insurance—not even going to get into that—but like a lot of things in the US, this is a severely flawed system. A lot of private health insurance will stop or limit coverage for an autism diagnosis or assistance services once a person reaches 18 to 21 years old. In most states, coverage has a higher chance of being denied to autistic adults coming with the added age cap or ONLY covering ABA, an abusive, manipulative “therapy” used to force social compliance and trait suppression on autistic people. The fact that ABA, a conversion therapy, is covered, but little else, shows exactly what insurance companies think of autistic people: they’ll only cover us if we want to learn to be “normal”. This can leave many undiagnosed autistic adults who cannot afford analysis, insurance, or safe assistance services with nowhere to turn. If I was not on my parents’ insurance, there is NO WAY I would EVER be able to afford a diagnosis. I don’t have $2,000 lying around. The MONEY ALONE would prohibit me from getting a diagnosis, no matter how many autistic traits I presented.

When I was going through this system years ago to start a diagnosis, I was shocked to find no therapist within three hours of me was accepting adult patients. “Up to 18 only” their websites would say. And in the event I had found one (1) that accepted me as a then 20 year old with X insurance, and that person refused me diagnosis, I would be out of options unless I planned a 5 hour drive which may have also led me to another biased screener. A person seeking self financed assessment can waste thousands of dollars therapist hopping.

People will say, “Well I live in X place, and where I come from, it’s covered!” Well the reality is that everyone in the world does not live where you live. It’s not realistic to assume everyone is in the same position as you or your family to afford care or access the same resources as you. When you say, “Just go out and get a diagnosis! It’s not that hard!”, understand you are speaking from your personal vantage point where screening may be easily accessed or easily covered/is free OR you have no personal knowledge of what that process is like yourself.

The second thing that bars a ton of people from being diagnosed is the fact that when autism was first discovered, its research was HEAVILY centered on white, cis, heterosexual men. The idea that autistic people are ONLY cis, white, heterosexual men carries on to this day. If you are an outlier to this stereotype, your chances of being misdiagnosed with something else or refused diagnosis skyrocket because so-called “professionals” don’t know how to observe traits in any other person besides a cis, white, heterosexual man, and refuse/fail to recognise the endless ways in which a person can be autistic. ALL the time I hear how AFAB people will go in to get screened only to find out their screener does not believe AFAB people can be autistic, because yes, sexism and anti-lgbtq+ ideas play a huge role in the incredibly outdated diagnostic process, because autism is still believed to be an “AMAB only” thing. People report going into a therapists office and being asked questions like, “Do you like going outside? Do you like having friends?” and being told that if you agree with either of these, you cannot be autistic because criteria at some places is so backwards, you can’t even say you enjoy conversation without failing the test. Other things commonly heard during the analysis are screeners telling someone they are too smart/articulate to be autistic, gas lighting them by saying they are mistaking their symptoms for something else/making them up, telling a person they seem normal, dismissing clear autistic traits by saying they’re unique “superpowers”, or intentionally misdiagnosing a person as ADHD INSTEAD of autistic. People on social media have also pointed out what influences racism has on the diagnostic process as well and how lack of research and understanding of autistic POC contributes to under-diagnosis and stigma has only contributed to refusal of care and under-representation of POC in the disabled community, as one autistic Black woman points out on Instagram, “I found excellent articles that support and validate my feelings and experiences, but I could find no research on autistic Black people.” Additionally, because research has primarily been done on young men, this means anyone who is not a cis man and is over the age of 18 and is seeking a diagnosis has a much higher chance of not receiving one because screeners don’t understand how autistic traits may present differently in adults, especially since adults are very likely to mask. Some autism screeners are so against autism they have told clients they would only diagnosis a person autistic if it was their last resort to avoid “placing a burden on their shoulders”. These reasons are largely responsible for why autism is incredibly mis/under-diagnosed. This ask would be the length of a novel if I included every single type of discrimination and mistreatment during the evaluation process alone, but understand it can be incredibly biased, sexist, transphobic, racist, or just flat out ableist. And guess what? Though this process can take as little as a month to get sorted, that is rare. The assessment SHOULD be very short. But a lot of autistic people have reported their diagnosis took more than 2-4 years because of having to waste time, energy, and money hopping from therapist to therapist looking for someone to take them seriously, as many autistic people compiled on the actuallyautistictiktoks page on Instagram point out.

The last thing I want to touch on is this idea that people have that self diagnosing is dangerous. “What if someone self diagnoses and they take advantage of services that are meant for autistic people?” ...The Big Things you think I am going to take advantage of as a self diagnosed autistic person, like scholarship money for instance or SSDI, I do not have legal access to without a formal diagnosis. I cannot waltz into a law firm and ask for a $5,000 scholarship for autistic people without a diagnosis, because they WILL NOT give it to me!

Let me tell you some of things I’ve “cruelly taken advantage of” as a self diagnosed autistic person. I bought glasses with blue light protection, because screen and fluorescent lighting at work and even natural blue toned light from the sky lowers my threshold for some sensory input like noise and social interaction; wearing them to work everyday has improved my sensory thresholds incredibly. I’ve talked to my manager and told him I’m autistic and that I have a hard time understanding vague direction and may need to step away briefly on occasion to tend to a shutdown before a meltdown comes on at work; he had no problem with this. I use subtitles; sometimes I have trouble processing audio or reading facial expressions and tone, and being able to see the words displayed on the screen gives me a significantly better understanding of what I watch. All my life, I have been having meltdowns which I had mistaken for mental breakdowns or panic attacks and having access to resources that walked me through preventative methods and tips on what to do if I have one has been ENORMOUSLY helpful to me. All my life, I was trying to deal with them thinking they were something else; becoming aware of this and accepting that they are in fact autistic meltdowns has helped me not only go through them, but has helped me redirect stims which at their worst previously had me hitting and clawing my arms, slapping my face, and even hitting my head. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to wait 4 years for a diagnosis to use resources I could be using to make my life more accessible right now!

People will say, “Oh well yeah, I don’t mean You are one of Those Types of self diagnosed autistic people, you clearly sound/look autistic, I’m talking about other people.” The thing is, there is no broad “sounding/looking autistic”, that’s stereotyping, and you can’t demand everyone who interacts with you show you their Autistic Card, because again, not everyone is able to be diagnosed, especially given the mistreatment and stigma present towards autistic people in the medical field! And what made you ask for their diagnosis? Because they “don’t seem autistic” to you? Why didn’t you ask for their diagnosis? Because they “seemed autistic” to you? By denying anyone who doesn’t have a diagnosis resources they may very well need, you are denying assistance to thousands of people who are without means to be diagnosed. And I am SO tired of seeing comments online on self diagnosis posts that “people don’t know what they’re taking about” as if they know us personally, like are you me? Are you my doctor I’ve consulted? Did you watch me academically research and consult with other autistic people about being autistic for over 3 years? I’m tired of “well, one time a self diagnosed person laughed at my actually autistic diagnosed friend...so all self dx people are evil” because there is ZERO correlation between a person being self assessed and their behavior towards a non self assessed person. The fact both those arguments are in use whenever self dx comes up is yet another form of gatekeeping.

Self diagnosing autism is not begging for attention or Evil Criminal Money Funneling Schemes. It is a result of a deeply flawed medical and insurance system that has failed to give proper attention and care to those who need it, it is a result of resources not made available, of safe support systems not there for kids and adults alike. You want to talk about what’s truly dangerous? How the hate group Autism Speaks has been parading itself around since 2005 as an advocacy group for autistic people and has been misusing millions of dollars worth of donation money and promoting stigma and hatred around autistic people; no autistic members are present on their board. How Sia and her new film Music was nominated for 2 Golden Globes despite it replacing the original autistic actor with a neurotypical actor, using offensive stereotypes, and using the main autistic character as a prop, and featured an extremely dangerous bodily restraint scene on an autistic person having a meltdown in public and featured very insensitive content due to Sia’s lack of consulting with autistic people to make the film (spoilers in that article).

Instead of policing autistic people, whether they fit your idea of what an autistic person is or not, redirect your efforts and your energy to dismantling systems and holding others accountable for perpetuating harmful stereotypes about autistic people that are legitimately dangerous on such a scale that they have created insurmountable damage to the autistic community. But I guarantee you, worrying over whether your classmate is “faking it” will not do any justice to the decades worth of discrimination autistic people face still today.

I understand. You care about the community, you don’t want autistic people to be exploited or taken advantage of. I don’t want to be exploited and taken advantage of as an autistic person, and I don’t want that for others! But I also understand that when we self proclaim ourselves as judges of random autistic strangers on the internet or start accusing people of faking or demanding to see medical paperwork from people when the basis of our suspicions is “this person doesn’t look like my stereotyped view on how I think an autistic person should act”, THAT is when you really run into trouble. Because if you are allowed to deny self dx people entrance into the autistic community, what’s stopping you from thinking you have the power to deny ANYONE entrance into that community?

And there is power in self diagnosis for many autistic people. When the evaluation system is literally rigged to set you up for failure and put you through unnecessary hardship, self dx is a self affirming, empowering tool to take back control from a process designed to gaslight and crush you. The evaluation process was NOT formulated by an autistic person, nor was it made to be inclusive of all autistic people. Until the evaluation system in place for autistic people is safe, accessible, and free to ALL, you have EVERY right to self diagnose.

#like this isn’t even half of what I want to say #but I’m gonna stop cos this is So Long #no clowns in my inbox pls #long post #ableism #autism #actually autistic #ok to rb