#this is all i can manage recently

[sncinderdoodles]

i'm so tired katniss

#no legit im actually exhausted #this is all i can manage recently #everlark #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #the hunger games #thg #suzanne collins

[journey-to-the-attic]

happy fnaf movie (uk) release day!

#art #obey me #it's 5am and i can't sleep but i managed to finish this in time so who's the real winner here #fnaf #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #jtta ik #fnaf saga #can you tell that i've developed a love for those big cartoony shock eyes since i first used them in the rpg comic #i feel like i've been drawing lucifer too much recently so i did contemplate using a different brother #but the scenario wasn't as funny with anyone else #in hindsight barbatos could've been funny but i'm not redrawing all that to put him in #i keep wanting to draw some cute dadcifer stuff but i feel like i ought to balance him out with some other characters first #luckily i have a Massive reserve of shitposts to apply them to #also i KEEP meaning to do more of those cat picture redraws but i keep not getting around to it

[azaracyy]

to the next stage of our adventure! digimon survive week 2024 day 7: post-game / future personal thoughts under the cut - less about the artwork and more about shuuji and lopmon themselves. a long rambling containing major spoilers and heavy topics. will cause whiplash. proceed with caution.

other than the fact this may be boring and long-winded, cw and tw: there will be mentions of self-harm and suicide. if these topics make you uncomfortable, please step back. if you're sure, then alright. i'm aware this is a weird place to ramble about shuuji and lopmon considering the notorious highlight of their story would match the themes of day 5 (villains) and day 6 (dark & loss) better. unfortunately (ironically?) i never planned to feature them for those days, so... pretty sure i'm not the only one feeling this, but when i discovered that a good part of the fandom seems to loathe shuuji with utmost passion, even after they claimed to have completed the game, i was confused. the way his death happened and (understanding) the cause made me uncomfortable for a while, but never drove me to the point of hate... once i recovered from the initial shock, what i felt towards him was more pity, then respect (on truthful route). i feel shuuji should have been one of the most appreciated characters in survive. yet it was the opposite that happened. (between you and me though, knowing there was this discourse with the fact digimon survive is a visual novel, i'm not that surprised it turned out this way...) from my point of view, lopmon evolving into wendimon then killing shuuji symbolizes suicide, the act of taking one's own life. it was the climax of shuuji's mental breakdown, leading him to basically self-destruct, causing damage to everyone around him and ultimately himself. lopmon evolved, just like he hoped. but failed to do it like other kemonogami partners (maintaining control of themselves and fending off enemies). the next and final outcome was death, through his own partner actually eating him alive too. it reminds me how when someone thought they have prepared well for something important yet it failed spectacularly, the devastation and frustration would eat them in the same way from inside. and they probably would for one second think, "i'm better off dead". the more i pondered about it, the more it hit home, so of course, the last thing i could do is hate him, when his struggles sound similar to my own - having to rely on consistent achievements to prove your value, to feel you are worth living and not a waste of resources. the part where shuuji went all abusive on lopmon felt like the equivalent of pushing yourself to the extreme to reach your goal, to the point of neglecting your own needs. it's like a student so absorbed in their study, sacrificing food and sleep, until their body eventually snaps and shuts down for good (...this in fact happened to one of the students at my previous workplace. she was in her last year of high school. life was just about to truly start for her when her classmate informed us of her sudden death). even in truthful route where shuuji and lopmon survive that point, things aren't immediately nice and easy for him. you can see that he still has self-doubts, and what i think is impostor's syndrome. he could be making a great contribution to the team and still put himself down for having done "nothing". i have found it interesting that artists and writers tend to be especially fond of shuuji. so perhaps it's not just the matter of one's upbringing - whether you were raised in a harsh, competitive environment and/or with family with (unreasonably) high standards so you can relate more easily to him - but also whether one can see just what every struggle shuuji and lopmon went through symbolizes shuuji's mental state. out of all survive characters, i think shuuji and lopmon pulled off this thing called "surviving" the hardest, no joke. which is why i almost always gravitate to drawing them happy because that's what they deserve :') after all this, what i also would like to say is, it's okay if a character makes you uncomfortable. it's okay if you hate a character. but never, ever bring down the character to people who like them or even consider them their favorite or comfort character. if you must, do it in your own space and only with like-minded people.

#digimon #digimon survive #shuuji kayama #lopmon #survive week #survive week 2024 #obligatory shuuji-focused post where i make myself go a bit ✨ extra ✨ #sorry for the long rambling tho i just thought i never had the chance to put this in words and this time i really want to do it #thanks for being patient with me :') #so i didnt manage to post for all days after all but i still have the ideas and sketches #if i ever finish them i will post and tag #if we have another survive week next year i hope i can actually prepare early so i could just schedule posts like a boss #then enjoy every submission without having to worry about finishing my next one #back to commissions starting tomorrow o7 updated my vgen listings recently so feel free to look around if you'd like #let's keep surviving y'alls #png

[litebulbs-art]

yeah

#risk of rain returns #risk of rain #art block is so fun #all i can manage to complete is colouring in bits from an old doodlepage #and this one isnt even the most recent one #its just the only presentable one

[ihateornithologists]

#elisabeth das musical #and things that happened to me irl xD #i finally did thissss #it's so funny to do actually and it almost works like sort of therapy so why not #like wow i can finally talk about this and even draw related things without wanting to throw up immediately #for more context (yep again) i had severe depression years ago and at some point my brain was so fucked up by illness that #i started seeing [one of those guys i'm always talking about] literally as an embodiment of everything bad in my life #well HE WAS #but like i so strongly identified him with my depression that sometimes even doubted if he was a real person at all lmao #(YOU SEE WHY I'M DRAWING THIS) #he somehow managed to follow me everywhere which made things even more creepy. #and i kept coming back to him myself because i had no one else etc #so funny actually that he was literally JUST SOME GUY like not even interesting or anything #all this shit was just awful and gross that's all. #but when i realized i can make it look COOL by drawing stuff i felt so powerful ahsdijwhnu8 #like YES i texted him recently and he's just. boring as fuck. #so dumb to feel possessed by some evil entity for years and the said evil entity is just a random dude #SORRY my traumadumping is cringe af but thats the price you have to pay to see my drawings xDddd

[charlie-rulerofhell]

Lord of the Lost being absolute kings and staying true to their word 🏳️‍🌈

"Yes, I am thankful for living in a country that – other than many other countries in this world – is able to socially catch me and others. With heavy limitations of course, we could now talk in lengths about our health care system or Hartz 4 [German unemployment benefits] for example. I am not someone who will step forward and say 'Fuck the system!', because I know that without this system many here would be lost, me very likely included. At the same time, you won't see me going to ESC with a German flag, swollen with pride. And I would also refuse to run around with a German flag there if anyone were to demand me to do so. I rather hold and will vindicate the mindset that, of course, we will inevitably compete for Germany, because we are from Germany, and the concept of the ESC is to have countries vote for other countries, and somewhere you have to draw lines at such a competition. But these lines, these borders, are man-made, which is why I say that I rather want to compete for those people that are into this kind of music and who were missing – broadly speaking – alternative music at the ESC. That is how I feel about it."

- Chris Harms

@kajaono @magoriasocrah

#lord of the lost #lotl #esc #esc 2023 #the linked interview is in german and it‘s .. tough (not because of chris he was amazing but just so you are aware in case you wanna listen) #they also talked about it today on their livestream (at least in the beginning didn‘t manage to catch the whole stream yet) #basically they were asked if they got in any trouble with the german delegation because of it #they answered that the german team actually didn‘t care at all but the ebu asked them before they went out in stage #chris said that germans marching in somewhere doesn‘t sit right with him lol #but he also talked specifically about the pride flag when the other acts were holding their national flags #and said that they wanted to show a flag that is more inclusive and accepts all kinds of different people #'other than the german flag as we can see in all the recent comments under our videos' #(to kajaono and magoriasocrah: i tagged you in this post because of our previous little conversations #but if you don‘t want to be in this post just tell me and i‘ll take the tags out immediately :))

[fleouriarts]

mini sketchbook dump. lowkey forgot this thing existed until last week

descriptions/refs and such below

1. based on one of the pics i took w hivemind, i told them to do cute poses and riley decided to just go O__O at the camera??? hes so silly <3

2. another livemind thing but this time it's from the video i took of them slow dancing. if i ever say no to a hivemind gay moment... call the cops my identity has been stolen for sure

3. finally drew one of my favorite little hivemind moments EVER oh my god they are so cute. literally me and who

4. this is just a cute pic of riley that i'd drawn literally right when i started doing hivemind fanart so i thought i'd redraw it. adding both the ref pic and my drawing from june 2023 so you can gawk at how much more angular my style has gotten

5. my dearest hex aka @gaydonweaver sent me this old pic of graydon (from a 2018 video i think) and i was enamored with his fluffy hair so i had to draw it

5. another one of my favorite cute hivemind moments... real compilationheads will recognize this as the thumbnail for 'hivemind juicy kissable boyfriend moments' which i remember riley being caught watching on stream 😭 im never gonna forget that i think its so fucking funny

also the section under the cut is a SAFE SPACE so here's some silly and kinda embarrassing sona doodles i did around these

#hivemind tv #my art #fanart #furry #fursona #2024 #sketchbook #OMFG i have had it up to HERE with my campus' scanners these things SUCK #tried all three methods of scanning shit at my library and all of them managed to fuck up a pic of baa-deca that i was gonna put in here #fully need to inherit my parents nice canoscan or just buy one. i finally have a biology job for the summer thats in like rural colorado #(aka way way way far from the nearest public library or anything) so i could use one LOL #anyway please enjoy #also disclaimer for the gay moments love wins etc things i dont think these youtube men are gay i just think its cute when theyre all #affectionate with each other and shit. the hivemind bromance mega compilation should be in the library of congress #you can tell im feeling ravenous in a gay way recently because i keep fucking watching it

[chidoroki]

August 22nd - Happy Birthday Emma - ft: her tvtropes

#the promised neverland #tpn manga #tpn emma #emma #my edits #i cant say a lot about our girl that i havent already said countless times before but i love her an endless amount & she still remains my #fav shonen protag to this day. she's just so perfect?? & im so insanely proud of everything she's accomplished aahh..but yeah i think i got #this idea back in march..or may? cant remember exactly but regardless i only managed to start it a couple days ago. thats how busy ive #been recently. so i wish i couldve made 'em not look so simple but whatever. obviously the photos are a reference to those that ray took. & #dunno if those cameras can capture stuff in a sepia tone but it works for her colors so here we are. all that might not make as much sense #when i do a set for anyone else or even for a different series but i dont care. this is the idea im rolling with for this birthday cycle.

[deoidesign]

I'm sorry if what I say is wrong in any way, I don't mean to offend you, it's just something I'm not completely sure about. Does Adam use he/they or they/them pronouns? I think I saw a post of yours where you said that Adam uses he/they, but it was a while ago and now I'm not completely sure (and I don't want to use the wrong pronouns)

I know you don't mean anything by it, but I am sad that so many of the asks I get start with people saying "I'm sorry, I don't want to offend you" or some variation thereof, followed by completely normal questions. I think I may have been responding too harshly to too many things and given the impression that I'll jump at people for being wrong...

But asking clarifying questions is always okay. I mean, it's also okay to be wrong and even offensive. What matters is if you learn from it when someone points out that it was wrong or offensive. I won't stop telling people they're saying something hurtful if they are, but I don't want that to lead people to be scared of me or something.

Correcting people is always just about correcting them, not hurting them. It's okay to need to be corrected, were all learning new things every day.

Anyways Adam uses he/they, you remembered correctly

#i dont like when people pry about personal things #especially not when it's accusatory. I'm admittedly sensitive to a lifetime of people denying my identity #people saying i dont count as bi. or nonbinary. or disabled. #and so i tend to take questions around these as people trying to 'sus me out' as a fake or something... #and I'm always going to try to explain. generally gently... how these things are hurtful to me personally #or in the case of my characters how certain things can (in my opinion) be harmful mindsets to have #but i dont carry them with me and im not mad #im just 26 and kinda tired of making myself small to make other people more comfortable. #so. if im uncomfortable ill just say jt! #and ill do my best to explain why so people can maybe learn from it #but as someone who. i talked about this recently elsewhere. as someone who has anger management issues #and unfortunately has had to deal with people i care deeply about being scared of me... #it just makes me sad to see anons being scared of me. #that's all #im not upset or anything. just trying to be a better person. #I'm learning everyday too #asks #anon

[total-mkulia]

You think you're the charmer (But you're really the snake)

#I've been watching edgy shows recently and it's got me turning up the toxicity as much as I can manage #unfortunately this means a change in style because my cartoony ways can only conjure so much unhealthiness #all of this is to say: toxic yuri for the win forever #td gwen #td heather #gweather #my art

[quailclaws]

tfw parasite E>

#ocs #doveart #her birthday is on my birthday too (in 4 days) y'all are invited and you Will Celebrate (lovingly) #IF Y;ALL WERE WONDERING WHERE TF I WAS I WAS IN HELL DURING FEB BUT I SURVIVED AND MANAGED THANK ALLAH #istg i got back to art recently can y'all believe-- tryna get the hang of it again too c:

[icewindandboringhorror]

........creachure

#cats #his eyes are always so big and weird he no longer looks like a cat anymore sometimes.. in a way... #it's hard to understand.. complicated vibes on this boy #his summer sprawl (laying flopped out on the floor weird because of the heat) #I AM still trying to get some costumes done and also post another poll advtnure so I can finally finish it lol #the weather this month has just been soooo.... There was the heat wave and then after like 2 days of coolenss where I was like 'ah! finally #I can be productiv!' but just as soon as I had recovered from the heat.. it got hot again ghhhh #currently sweating inside. I actually had to leave my doctors appointment early today because I was just so so warm from #sitting in the car and the fac tthat half the buildings still do not have their air up very high and etc. and I felt so nausous #and flushed and started to get back and stomach pains for some reason.. Which I guess is good in a way to further confirm to doctors that #I Have Something Wrong With Me lol (most normal people should not be this heat sensitive I think) but is also still a little stinky #because I still payed a copay for the fulla appointment time but cit it short by leaving 15minues early.. grrr #ANYWAY. It seems like recently it's just hot all the time but it will ocasionally tempt you with a cool day of reprieve BUT don't let your #guard down! because as soon as you start to think 'hey things are getting better! :0' the sun will be like NO actualy. scalding temperature #be upon ye.. #Which of COURSE. I would rather have hot weather with little breaks in between than just constant hot weather. 100% definitely. #but it just always makes me sad because I get my hopes up lol.. JUST as I've recovered from the past heat and am So Ready To Start #On All My Things now That I'm Not As Sick And Hey Maybe It's Even Cool Enough To Do A Costume! .. my hopes are dashed #.. woe and so on and so forth. . Which I am stil managing to get a few things done but just.. not the things I really WANT to do (costumes. #sculptures. edit videos. etc. ). #anyway.. look at son.. If nothing else I still have lots of cat photos.. my sole productivity offerings to the internet online world

[breadboylovin]

having the worst weekend ever in my life rn

#time for a rare TUMBLR VENT POST usually this is limited to my twitter #my hair loss from t has gotten way worse recently and im extremely upset about it #upset enough that yesterday at my sisters graduation i could barely focus because i was freaking out #and i am still. freaking out. #scheduled an appointment about finasteride and ordered rosemary oil shit but its really not looking good #and to top it all off my dad managed to ram into my car and put a dent in it. its easy to fix but still like. come on man WHY NOW #and i cant do the normal things i do to calm down about my hair because its On Me i can See It #i can see how its all fucking falling out #and everything reminds me of it #im so hungry but anxiety is making me so nauseous i can barely eat #im tired because i could barely sleep last night from the anxiety #i want to go home but also what the fuck do i do after that #i just feel so awful. i dont know what to do with myself #how did i even get such an intense balding gene my dads hair is fine my sisters hair is beautiful #im really fucking upset 😁😁😁😁😁🤪🤪🤪🤪😁😁‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️⁉️⁉️⁉️🤪🤪🤪🤪😁😁😁🤪😁☹️

[makerofmadness]

youtooz is making madeleine sparkling glitter and espresso plushies ‼️‼️‼️

OK SORRY FOR MY INACTIVITY BUT

HOLY FUDGE

#I NEED THEM LIKE ALL OF THEM BUT ALSO I ALREADY HAVE SO MANG PLUSHIES I DON'T KNOW IF BABA WILL SAY YES 😭 #Wait he gave me my own Money recently maybe I can use it on them... if I can figure out how to like. Spend. #(I'm bad at Doing Things okay my brain used to shut off when I saw anything that required emails-) #like the espresso and madeleine ones together in particular because Do Not Separate #(Kinda wish one of my blorbos got the plushie treatment then I could've just. Decided on one thing instead of wanting at least two and #Probably three if I can manage 'Cus I love shining glitter too-) #Brain spinning in my head rn help #cookie run #Cookie run kingdom #shining glitter cookie #espresso cookie #madeleine cookie

[girlthingdecay]

.

#i kind of want to kill myself. im so disconnected from anything. i have no original thought. everything is scripted #everything is just put together pieces from things ive heard elsewhere and i do not have a single original thought #everyone can see that im masks all the way down and everyone can see that i am nothing underneath and even that is a stolen way of saying it #i have no way of making nothing palatable but i am simply nothing. invite me over and ill try to adapt to you and write a new script based #off new media but if you make me truly comfortable and somehow manage to unplug my behavior then youll be rewarded with me just sitting #beside you on the floor and staring at whatever media you show me without speaking much and only occasionally seeking further warmth from #you #i vocalized it to someone close recently but im a nothing void and i wish people all acted in exactly the way i wanted regardless #i have selfish fantasies about people just doing everything to make everything easy for me and if i were a god i would be an entirely #selfish one #if the right people would go and stay as i please even though im a nothing void and dont deserve them around #if they would all do whatever i needed like gave me cuddles or sex or affirmation or money or treats #if life was one long cycle of being the most treated god by everyone then maybe i could be something i dont know #maybe something could be manifested into me #everyone already projects an idea onto me so maybe a collective idea held by all with a great deal of love would make whatever they say of #me true and maybe then id exist fully #until then oh well #though in reality im just sanitizing a bit. having others fully as puppets serving me isnt something that i want because i think itll “fix” #me by any measures and id likely only grow far more sadistic and selfish but i wish for that world because i could live in perfect comfort #i could do anything i wanted and have anything i wanted and nobody would stop me #sorry this is just like. a long rambling in tags. i should shut up now

[wantbytaemin]

hi ana i know this week has been hard, how was your weekend? i hope you had time to relax and regroup.. sending much love your way 💞

hi angel! thank you so much, i did i did! I hope your week was gentle to you and that you had a nice weekend as well 💖 here’s my weekend in a couple pics hehe ofc you get details in the tags bc this IS ana wantbytaemin after all 🥲🫡

#we’re still catsitting and i snuggled w the baby for a while on Saturday morning which was so 🩶 bc he doesn’t like pets very much. he’s got #pretty severe arthritis so whenever he wants pets you best believe he gets them.. sweet angel i’ll miss him so much 🥺 #then saturday morning roommate and i went to this new ramen bar in the city centre and had some mizamen it was SOOOO good #and the painted street is actually a city project of making some of the very narrow central streets pedestrian only zone and so they’ve #just recently painted part of this street and put CATS on it hehehe i loved it SO much #and then on Saturday night we went to an art/design exhibition and i have SOOOOO many pics form there #from* there i loved it SO much! and there was a concert after it which my friend really wanted to go to so we went #and then as roommate & i live close to the concert place we all went back to ours and had some wine & cat snuggles 🩶 #and THEN from today that’s my silly dog aziza with as you can see a totally appropriately sized stick #<- pic from our 3 hr walk in the park #and now im doing chores and chilling and such so yea!!! good weekend all in all i managed to not think about the week and how i went #through all of Dante’s circles of hell LMAO