#this felt good to write i'm glad i did it :)

[melodic-haze]

h-hey 👯‍♀️😕😜🎀

Since you said in your other post that you wanted to write for either Miko or Ei, I HAD AN IDEA!!

What if Miko and fellow kitsune!Reader who start their breeding months (in january obviously) and have Ei volunteering herself to them not knowing that they can’t obviously be sated in just one day 🙄 (r.i.p her cunny)

☆ — DEMO TRACK: switch!Miko x sub!Ei x dom!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Reader and Miko can shift what they want (specifically their genitals 😄), knotting and breeding (not really)

☆ — NOTES: You. YOUUUUUU. Are such a genius ily anon ty for this 🙏🙏🙏

Ohhhh this bitch REALLY fucked around and found out LOL I almost feel bad.......almost

Have to hand it to Ei though, she DID try to research before proposing the idea in the first place. Especially since this is set in the first year since she got out the PoE........but studying it obv won't be the same as the real thing LOL

You and Miko have fared relatively okay on your own—the two of you have ABSOLUTELY mated before to ease each other's heat but it always felt like something was missing. You both made sure to take procedures to make sure neither of you ever concieved a child after the process with the excuse of the two of you being way too busy to care for one but like. The actual main reason was that if you were to have a child, you both wanted to have the third piece of the puzzle there with you

Now that the third member of your polycule's back, your heats are STRONGER THAN EVER bc wtf she's acc here??? Ughfhghfhh neeeeeed......like do you get me I hope you do

It wasn't as if it was a normal discussion to have out in public (you both always talked about it indoors until neither of you needed to really talk ab it anymore from all the time spent w each other) but it was a nice picnic between the three of you; Ei's head was on Miko's thighs as she ate up yet ANOTHER skewer of tricolour dango while you were leaning on the latter's side when she brought it up

Ei cleared her throat with a slight tinge of nervousness, "Could I perhaps, ah.. assist the both of you in your mating period?"

You choked on the dango that you were about to swallow as you see Miko startle the slightest bit, nearly dropping her novel in the process.

When you managed to regain your composure (or at least a modicum of it), you could only rush out a simple "'scuse me?" as Miko placed her book down to the side with a raised brow.

Miko combed her fingers through Ei's hair as she questioned, "What brought this on, dear?"

"Well..." The Archon licked her lips as she slowly got her words out, "I've.. left you two for over five hundred years. And while I'm glad that you both had each other for company whenever the season hits, I cannot deny that.. well, I feel bad, I suppose."

"You feel bad," the shrine priestess mocked, which.. really, wasn't all that undeserved, despite the fact that she was mocking the nation's leader.

"For a lack of a better word, yes." She sits up and turns to the both of you, putting the now-empty skewer aside, "Now that I have returned from my admittedly self-imposed isolation, it would be remiss of me to.. avoid my duties as your lover."

"I don't mean to be rude, Your Excellency," you teased, "but do you even know what you're saying? You've been in the Plane of Euthymia for so long; I worry for your safety."

You hear the pink fox envoy let out a quiet snort of amusement for your slight condescension (all in good faith, of course) as Ei sighed, "I think you forget that I am not a fragile mortal who needs to be coddled—I can withstand brutal wars and come out victorious."

"Besides," she adds, "I have done a fair amount of research to refresh my knowledge. I assure you both that I can take whatever it is you give me."

Miko mused, "I thought you knew better than to rely on textbook information rather than actual experiment, Ei."

"You're trying much too hard to dissuade me from my offer."

"We both deserve to rib into you for at least a couple hundred years."

"Especially considering how we've been left to fend for ourselves..."

"I.. suppose I do deserve that. And I want to make amends for it all, starting with this. So.. will you let me help? Please?" She looked at the both of you with such sincerity despite the subject matter.

...

The fact that Raiden Ei herself was begging the two of you though...

The both of you jumped her sides with sharing grins, your ears flicking in sync as you let out your own laughs.

"You should hope that you don't regret that, Ei.."

"..Because we are rather.. insatiable."

Then comes the actual thing and ohhhhh girlie was NOT prepared

When I said your heats get worse bc of how Ei's back, I fucking MEAN IT. It's the fact that that familiar sweet smell isn't just a not-quite-forgotten memory for you two anymore that it's just driving you both abslutely NUTS

When she gets to you two she gets POUNCED ON and there is. Basically no break for her at all and foreplay is basically foreGONE atp tbh

Eat her cunt like a bitch STARVED it's like both you and Miko are competing and assisting each other at the same time like who can eat her out better, who can make her squirt, etc etc

SO MANY BITE MARKS ON HER HOLY SHIT like okay yes on you and Miko as well but both of you want to mark Ei EXTREMELY for all the time you've lost with her. The both of you wanna show both Ei and perhaps the entirety of Inazuma that archon is YOURS at the end of the day......at least, if the loud noises didn't give them enough of a hint 🤷‍♀️

You're so right anon rip Ei's cunny indeed bc both you and Miko ABUSE the living HELL out of it❗️❗️❗️ You do often have to personally pry Miko off when she's overstaying in the spot you're supposed to share 🫶🫶🫶🫶 just tell her she's being a VERY bad girl rn and she'll fold. Usually she wouldn't but the haze (lol) in her mind is sooo fucking thick she can't think straight and she can't think of the witty remarks she would've otherwise made :((( poor baby the only thing she wants to do is breed and get bred :(((((((

I need to spitroast her with Miko so very badly I'm ngl to you I neeeed I NEEEEED I need to see Ei being impaled on both ends, both sides basically slobbering

It'd be very messy and would 100% take so long before you finish but when you do, it's with your fellow kitsune's own pussy practically filled to the brim and Leaking as she's laid out and finally passed out as your hips are locked in on your Archon's own; you cumming inside of you for like the nth time and stuffing her full w a mix of both your and Miko's cum and essentially plugging it with an inflamed bulb :3

Whether Ei has a system that allows her to get pregnant or not, gen who knows.......but one thing's def for sure. Or like three things acc: one, you two are VERY clearly excited that your shared lover is finally back; two, turns out she absolutely LOVES being used and bred by her two partners; and three?

It was an unusually hard thing to do, waking up. Despite having an artifical body and being an archon that has faced true horrors and extreme exhaustion, she found herself absolutely spent from the marathon.. copulation.

Ei had hoped that her exhaustion meant that the two of you were much more tired than she was, even despite your inhumanity, and yet...

Her eyes couldn't help but flutter open as a sudden gasp left her lips—she sees you push into her roughly with a lust-addled look on your face. You were already inside her when she fell asleep, considering the animalistic knot that held the both of you together, but even when it had shrunk to a more.. manageable level, you still hadn't taken it out.

Then Ei looks slightly to the right and there she sees her pink-haired familiar, heavily breathing as she grinded her wet, hot pussy onto her thighs with such loud, obscene moans.

(If the Archon listened close enough, which she did, she would've noticed the slight growl to the sounds she made—such a sound was at its most clearest when she ducked down to press another bite mark on porcelain skin.)

She couldn't even utter a word to remark that she had just woken up, didn't even have the room to do anything to stop you before you started pounding away at her like your life depended on it.

..And she could. Really, she could. She wasn't the feared Raiden Shogun for nothing.

She could stop you if she wanted to.

If she wanted to.

But when she feels the residual fluids within her gush out as you essentially resculpt her insides over and over and over, when she feels the desperate whines that Miko lets out as she cums and covers her thigh in slick, well.

She finds that she doesn't really want to.

(And really, not only was it her fault for volunteering, but this is her responsibility as your lover.)

(She knew that, and she wasn't going to start shirking her responsibilities again.)

(Even if it costs her her mobility for a while. But it's fine, she can just do a lot of maintenance after.)

#hazy demos! #hazy explicits! #raiden ei x reader #ei x reader #raiden ei smut #ei smut #sub raiden ei #sub ei #yae miko x reader #yae miko smut #sub yae miko #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact smut #sub genshin impact #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin smut #sub genshin #genshin women #genshin women x reader #genshin women smut #sub genshin women #gn reader

[thatswhatsushesaid]

the fool 🤝 jin guangyao being easily the most dynamic and compelling characters in their respective canons, likely for reasons that were substantially if not entirely unintentional on the part of their respective authors

#this thought brought to u by a conversation i had earlier today with confusion-and-more about all the different reasons jgy compels us #and remembering exactly how i felt when i first developed beloved brainrot back in the late 90s/early 00s #did robin hobb intend to write such an iconic queer deuteragonist when she first wrote assassin's apprentice? #just based on the panels i've attended while listening to her talk (and she is a very thoughtful and engaging speaker) #i truthfully don't think so since iirc she didn't intend for the fool to become as integral to the six duchies novels as he became #now try to imagine the six duchies books without him as the fulcrum that balances the weight of the whole narrative #now try to imagine mdzs without jin guangyao and his capacity for tremendous visionary change and also his darkness #also quick note don't read this post and think i'm trying to assert that they're similar characters because i am not #beyond the fact that i do not think that what makes them both so compelling to me #is what either author had in mind (at least consciously) while writing them #that said i'm so glad that they did. bless u robin bless u mxtx #thank you for the gift of the fool and jin guangyao #i don't think i'll ever get over the terminal case of brainrot i have about both of them and i'm fine with that #the fool #jin guangyao #he did crimes??? good for him 😌

[roughdraftsofachaoticmind]

The Sandman.

I can’t properly put into words how The Sandman show makes me feel. But I’m going to try. So, lets start at the beginning.  I’m the youngest of three and there are large gaps between me and my sisters 7 and 12 years older than me, they were mainly my semi-reluctant babysitters. My eldest sister was big into the grunge and goth subculture that flourished in the 90′s and my middle sister was more into the boho chic and me? Just a weird amalgamation of a child. We didn’t bond very much which isn’t something I hold against them, our ages were so staggered, we were in such different journeys in our lives. However they always shared their books. Books on mythologies, Goosebumps and too many comics to count. My middle sister introduced me to Death: At Death’s Door by Jill Thompson. I was enthralled. I was in love. It was strange and like nothing I’d ever seen. I would read it over and over again. That comic was with me all the times, it brought me comfort like a teddy bear or blanket might do for another child. I would proudly show it to anyone who would give me a moment to talk about my interests.  Later in my young life my oldest sister would introduce me to Volume One of The Sandman. Preludes & Nocturnes. A dramatic difference to Death: At Death’s Door and I was once again enraptured by the comic. I latched onto the weird and colourful world that was sprawled upon the pages, at a different look at characters I’d come to love. This book too would now come with me everywhere, tucked in beside the love worn pages of the other for whenever I had a moment to read.  Things rapidly changed as I hit my teens, my life entirely tipped over and emptied by divorce, drugs and abuse. My sisters now old enough to have their own lives left and had taken their belongings with them as one does. And the once cramped room we all somehow managed to not kill each other in was empty. All their books now lined their own homes and the only ones I had were those tucked away in my bag. The only two pieces of my sisters I would have for many years as family arguments chased away any get togethers and divided us.  Pieces that felt like they were apart of the building blocks of me would be taken from me as my school councilor would deem the reading material too old for me and take them from me. They said it was to protect my young mind but it felt as if they had done it for any reason but to protect me, I was distraught beyond reason.  Libraries became my solace. A place where no one would take my books from me, a place where I could come to visit the stories that brought me so much comfort, a place to discover more than I could imagine. A place where free coffee went unwatched and may be the reason I am only 5′5″. The librarians there were unbelievably kind and always kept two copies of both books in case anyone else wanted to check them out there would still be a copy for me to read. All their kindness however could not bring me the feel of the worn edges of my books, they could not give me back the memories that flooded my system as I’d look upon the pages I’d coloured in my youth.  Eventually CAS tore me from my home and my school was forced to give back everything they’d taken from me over the years. I was reunited with my books, books I would need more than ever as I was thrown around the unmonitored foster care system. My weird amalgamation of self was stripped until I was more or less deemed normal enough to be placed with my mother, enough therapy until I could answer correctly. Books and trinkets no longer kept in my bag but lining a shelf neatly as all rational things should be. Comforting items such as were meant for babies and toddlers not teens heading into adulthood.  Angst, trauma, hormones and all that comes with being 16 dragged me far from books. Years spent angry at the world, at family I had believed abandoned me, Anarchy ever on my mind after suffering at the hands of flawed government agencies. I was barely home to sleep let alone look at my book shelf.  My anger dissolved as I got older and was replaced with the feeling of being lost, trying to reclaim who I was and discover the new parts of me, the ever massive question of finding my path in life weighing on my mind. Waiting for me dusty on my shelves were books that when I opened still gave me such a sense of comfort. Words I could recite with my eyes closed still filled me with wonder when I stared at them on the page.  That brings us to the fairly recent, the release of Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman on Netflix. To spite having typed so many words here I’m still at a loss. It brought me to comforting tears, tears of joy, unshed tears of loneliness and of belonging. The first 5 episodes and a bit of the 6th are from Volume One of The Sandman. Preludes & Nocturnes. I could barely believe it as I watched the pages I’d become to familiar with sprawl upon the screen just as enthrallingly beautiful as the first time I’d opened the comic. Watching the series brought me back to being small, in the room with my sisters, sitting on our bunk beds and just reading together without a worry in the world, moments where the tenderness had been lost upon me were brought back full force. The immense warmth that filled my chest to the point of bursting. Each actor enrapturing the character they played, leaping from the pages with grace. Every actor clearly chosen for capturing the character’s essence. Lines of dialog dripping from the pages and into my ears. I can’t describe The Sandman as anything other than perfect. It happened no moment sooner or later than it was supposed too, all those who were right for the job found at the right time.  When I finished the first 5 episodes and it started with the new arc I worried I would feel disconnected. I make no claims to be the biggest Neil Gaiman fan or even the biggest Sandman fan for that matter, I know two comics very well and have read a handful of the others, whatever was available at my library at the time but that was many years ago and my library didn’t have all his comics. I didn’t recognize Rose Walker, I didn’t know about Vortex’s and so I was worried that I may not experience the same level of joy, that I would fall out of love with these characters. I did not.  It was wonderful. It was the opposite of what I had feared. Instead now my brain was enthralled with ‘what would happen next?’ as I no longer had the answers. And the same way I had fallen in love with the books and their unknowns I fell in love with the rest of the season and it’s unknowns. I see new parts of characters I feel I’ve known for most of my life and I adore it with everything in me.  As I introduced, I don’t have the words to describe what the books and this show means to me. But I’ve tried and I can only hope that in reading this I can convey my Endless love for what The Sandman has given me for nearly 20 years. 

#The Sandman #Neil Gaiman #the sandman preludes & Nocturnes #Jill Thompson #Death: At Death's Door #The Endless #honestly I just wanted to put words to my feelings #I don't know if anyone will get anything from reading this #but I just wanted to put it out there #I find it fascinating #what happens to be introduced to us and how it can become such a part of us #Ya'll don't wanna see me go into the details of my love for LOTR's #or maybe you do #either way #I just have so much fondness in my heart #maybe this is the result of that near bursting I mentioned #but this felt good to write #I'm glad I did

[heckling-hydrena]

I admittedly am pretty sad about school of dragons shutting down. I've played that game since I was like. 9 years old. it has, regrettably, attached itself to the very core of my being like a parasite. I'm so very attached to the world and the characters and my dragons, even though the game itself was a glitchy terrible nightmare. the news also came at a time when I'm Fucked up about Everything Constantly. I did not need this!!! 😭😭

#oh flight rising anniversary update which I'll use to distract myself we're really in it now... #oddly I'm very glad I decided to get back into sod this year because like. I did the expansions. I explored everything new. #felt like I was going into video game retirement writing my list of items and dragons I want now that I Did everything #sad I didn't get to complete it. but very happy I did the dragon island and nightlight expansions because they were very fun #gonna be SO fucked up over losing my old ass dragons though. Midnight my best friend of 9 years & 2 accounts. girl. ily. #my timberjack. my stormcutter. my skrill. pouncer. the maps I had fun flying around on. o7 #gonna see how often I'll be able to go on the servers before they shut down for good #not fr #sodposting

[lovelaceisntdead]

Just finished reading Our Wives Under the Sea. That was beautiful.

#beautiful is not at all the right word but I don't know how else to put into words how I feel about it #I haven't read anything else Julia Armfield has written but I am a big fan of the way she writes #i don't really know how to process what I'm feeling right now #I properly sobbed my way through the last 50 pages #I'm glad the cat's in bed with me because I need the emotional support #will be thinking about Miri and Leah for. a while I think. #god that was so good. #I'll try and post a more cohesive response tomorrow because I really really want more people to read this #but having lived on the coast my whole life with a deeply terrifued respect for the ocean #I really felt a lot of what Leah talks about #as well as Miri's anxieties and hypochondria #I wasn't expecting to relate to this book as much as I did #I also enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would #that's not exactly true #I enjoyed it differently I guess? #idk. anyway. that's enough for now.

[ilaiyayaya]

Finally Another Long Schizo-post, Been Too Long

Fuck I need to stop making everything a draft again and like actually post things, this blog exists for a fucking reason, and that reason is only partially for awawa_happy.mp4. I need to stop fucking reverting back into neet-mode every time I somewhat open up I literally made this to have an outlet to more easily prevent that.

Fuck I effectively went back into isolation again without even realizing it. In the last 6 months I have barely left my house outside of going to work and occasionally buying groceries, and I've even been buying groceries less frequently specifically because I've become afraid to go out in public most days again. Even when I do go somewhere now I more often than not spend like 30 minutes just sitting in my car trying to calm my nerves before going inside and it wasn't until today that I noticed I'd consistently been doing that again recently. Around August my car was broken for nearly 2 months and because of that I wasn't really able to go anywhere non-essential during that time, and I feel like that's probably what's started this downward spiral, before then I'd pretty consistently went somewhere fun every other weekend, and uhhh now I don't do that ever at all. It definitely didn't help that a few weeks ago I was stuck in my house for an entire week due to snow, and that was not a fun week, I think I may have actually been traumatized from being stuck in isolation for years before because within a single day of that week I was breaking. I really need to find the motivation to actually go out and do something more frequently again, it'd probably be a lot healthier than just rotting away at home.

In general I've felt a lot more anxiety-ridden recently, and the last month especially has been like, really bad. For as long as I can remember, usually my mental state fucking plummets around the holidays, but it always rebounds pretty quickly around January, that did not happen this year, very fucked up. I don't even know why exactly I've felt so shit this month, like there have been a few bad things happen but like, nothing more than like the average of most months, and a lot worse things happened in the latter months of last year than this past month. Like, my job's been even more hellish than usual recently, but like, outside of work I can't really pinpoint much, and I've literally been feeling worse on days where I'm off than when I'm at work so like, I don't think it's only that. But yea anyways anxiety bad, I've been a lot more nervous and irritable lately and that's not really fun, and I have a lot of weird, bad habits I do when I'm nervous like running my hands through my hair or biting myself that I've been doing way more recently and like, my hands hurt, I literally have a light bite mark on my wrist right now and I wasn't even conscious I was biting my wrist until I started thinking about writing this.

Lalala work bad I hate work, work fucking SUCKS right now. There's like double the people there normally are and that's gonna remain the case for the next month at least and it's too fucking loud and people are scary and it's too fucking cold. Actually I think I figured out one of the reasons I feel like shit even on my days off recently, my schedule fucking sucks right now, I'm not even working that many hours but every week I'm alternating between having to wake up at like 6 a.m. and having to be at work at like nearly midnight and it's massively fucked up my sleep schedule and now I've just been eeping in like 2 hour intervals at completely random times throughout the day and I constantly feel eepy and some days I sleep like 1 hour and other days I sleep like 15 and I feel exhausted either way and now that I'm thinking about being eepy I'm getting eepy honk shoo honk shoo hoooonk mimimi that's a lie I'm not eeping I can't eep until I finish writing this otherwise I'll forgor everything I was gonna write zzzzzzz.

Lalalalalalalalalalala bangs pans together really loudly to scare away the demons of self-consciousness (not to be confused with the angels of self-consciousness which are actually far worse). Dude being a girl is really cool and all but like whoever invented gender dysphoria is really actually not my friend (it was god, god did it, mods invert god's controls until he apologizes). Like I've always kinda hated myself in a lot of ways, and feeling dysphoric about my body especially is not at all a new thing, me being trans isn't even a new thing, but like with each passing month it just feels like it gets worse and this month was a big spike. Also I started slowly coming out to most of my friends like 6 months ago and most of them have been like relatively fine about it, but I've like kinda sorta maybe (?) sorta lost 2 friends and like 2 isn't a big number but it still feels pretty shit to have 2 people you considered friends, even if not super close friends, just stop talking to you completely. Anyways I don't know how to write about this kind of stuff without being too embarrassed or internally dying so no more gender talk BEGONE!!! maybe I'll eventually make a full post about it that I don't just keep as a roughdraft, someday.

#my cursed eye glowing red af #and to add to the list I'm fighting off tetris addiction hard rn like i can't i can't open it again i'll combust and die #vent post #i think if sega just canonically made sonic and shadow make out while on the space colony ark it would make all of my problems disappear #if i see that fucking akiba maid war vomit gif one more fucking time im gonna make a whole rant about just it next time I HATE IT #i forgot i read va-11 hall-a at the beginning of january nevermind this month was peak #wawawa unhappy :C #awawa happy :D #mods take her to the dorito confiscation chamber and have her dorito confiscated immediately! #i love how my tags are more of a peek into my psyche than the actual vent post that they're attached to; really says a lot about america #i cannot lie the vomit gif is way funnier than i wish it was like i hate it but its so funny and like the full context of it is even funnie #i think i hauve hinamizawa covid #this felt good to write i'm glad i did it :)

[running-in-the-dark]

I've seen the first three episodes of Leverage: Redemption now, and I think I like it?

I don't like that Hardison isn't there. that really feels very bad and wrong to me. I miss him. it's not the same without him, they're not the same without him.

I like the kid and the lawyer guy. but they're new so I'm not attached to them yet. it was different in the first show because everyone was new and the whole dynamic wasn't established yet. new things? fine. change? ahhhhhh no please no

(also everyone (except Nate) was perfect and they fit together so well and nothing felt off about the whole thing, so I guess it's a bit unfair to compare that)

Sophie is still Sophie, that's good. the grief thing makes me sad so I don't like it but I'm glad she's there.

Eliot's the same but softer (physically and in the way he acts) and I looove it. he's still my baby boy but better. he's great he's perfect I love him etc. would watch this show no matter what as long as he's right.

Parker is. hm. I don't know. something is a bit off. maybe it's just that she's older and the way she used to be feels a bit strange now (I still love her, I just need to get used to it I think). her voice is different and her face is different and I need time to adjust.

I like the kid, I like that she's Hardison's sister, I just don't know how I feel about her being so inexperienced and all that. it makes me nervous. with the others it always felt like they'd figure something out no matter what happens, with her I'm worried. though I do like Eliot (and the others) interacting with her.

and the lawyer guy is just. fine. he's there, he's nice enough, he's not Nate, so I'm happy for now.

I do kind of feel very old watching this. like, I don't know, I don't get it? I was a teenager when the first show was made (though I only just watched it for the first time), so everything felt familiar and it just made sense. now it's. I don't know. it's fine, again I probably just need to adjust. I don't watch too many recent shows that are set in the real world and right now, so maybe it's that.

one thing that I don't really like so far is that it's so... I don't know, like 'everything is SO BAD now'. which, it absolutely is. but I'm not watching this to be informed about the current state of the world or to be reminded how fucking bleak everything is, I want to escape from that. but I guess it makes sense for the show/it's kind of the point, and hopefully it won't make me feel awful all the time, so it should be fine.

#idk the first one just sort of felt like a really nice break from reality. things were bad and people did bad things but they were there to #make it better #I don't want to hear how bad it is just make it better #idk that's probably just me. #and a random thing I can't stop noticing: Eliot (still) shaves his arms #they look soooo smooth. I need to touch them. just. to see if they feel as smooth as they look. it's important and I need to know. #it's distracting lol (I could just stop staring at his arms but it's not physically possible unfortunately. can't do it my eyes won't let m #in conclusion: I like that there's more of my favourite characters. I don't like change. #I wish they'd gotten a million more seasons of the first show but this is the next best thing so I'm glad it exists #also if they don't get a third season I will lose my mind. and it better be soon because I don't want to see my boy get beat up when he's #in his mid/late 50s 😭 #why do I have so much to say about this show #and why did I think it wS a good idea to write thiy when I'm almost asleep. not smart #but when am I ever smart #okay it's bedtime for me now (it's 7 in the morning....). need to stop staying up for over 20 hours it's a really bad idea. #man I'm so stupid. anyway. I'm gonna go think about eliot and his smooth smooth arms now and hppe that I can sleep 🤷 #personal #I hope I'll remember to delete this tomorrow (I won't) #leverage #leverage redemption

[we-may-still-have-time]

#the first chorus of this song changed me #'my mind has changed / my body's frame / but god i like it' #i am allowed to choose to view my body differently #i am allowed to not only let go of but even actively ignore how other people perceive my body and focus entirely on how i view it #yes i can still be a chameleon when i need to keep myself safe #but i can choose to view myself and define myself however i want #now that i write all this down it seems so obvious it is so obvious #but it's one of those things i knew intellectually but never really felt before #i feel it now deeply #'my heart's aflame / my body's strained / but god i like it' #(did i just have some surprisingly gender-affirming surgery? why yes i did. i didn't expect to feel this. it feels so big and so good.) #(i'm a little sad it took me this long to get here but i'm glad i'm here now.) #infinite thank yous to the 'wave hello to the void' playlist

[biromanticbookbabe]

My next session of classes started today so I read almost 80 pages of text book, got a call back for an interview, got invited to the grad school's honor society (not me almost crying) and wrote two pages of fiction.

#sorry I feel like almost no one irl recognizes how fucking hard grad school has been for me #especially recently with the medicine change like what the hell #my gpa somehow did not get destroyed for the last two class sessions (I was sure I was going to do shitty in those classes) #and I even went shopping and got GOOD BREAD #today was a success we will say #I started writing a new love story (maybe a short story?) with these two new characters- Amelia and Henry (both women) #I have been dead and useless and not writing really at all until today #It's nice to have reminders that what you're doing might matter b/c for the longest time it felt like it didn't at all #I have been seriously considering leaving my program for the last few semesters but I'm glad I didn't now #I'm waiting on the job call back a little bit because I'm thinking it over but really I need the money ;-; #irl updates #mychatter

[criminalamnesia]

HIIII!!! I just wanted to say that i really love ur writing! I've read ur traitor series and I can't wait for part 4! I'm a new author, and english isn't my first language, so it's sometimes very hard for me to write bcs i'm stil not that good, but ur fics have helped me improve<3💗!

thank you so much!🫶 im glad you’ve enjoyed the series! and speaking of part four, here it is :)

ALL PARTS CAN BE FOUND HERE

simon didn’t turn to watch you leave the gym.

he stood there, eyes forward, mask clenched in one fist. he could feel the blood drying on his skin. he made no move to wipe it away.

he didn’t blame you for your anger— he couldn’t. he understood the rage. had felt it himself a time or two.

but he couldn’t take everything lying down.

did he deserve your wrath, your fury? yes— and he knew that. there was no making up for what he did; he realized that, but why couldn’t you understand?

he’d never fully taken his walls down around you, and that was no fault of your own. he was a guarded man, and his past gave him every right to be.

he had been burned and broken too many times. he’d seen the people he loved murdered because of him.

he swore he would never let that happen again. he put those walls up, and you knocked some of them down.

but there were some you’d never gotten through, at least, simon told himself you hadn’t. there was always something he was holding back, a piece of himself he wouldn’t give freely. he told himself it was because he couldn’t stand to love you so deeply and then watch you leave.

but really, it was because he needed an out. he needed a way to justify his leaving if something ever happened— and that’s what got him here.

simon trusted the 141 with his life. he trusted his captain with his life. price had never led him astray; john knew his face well before any of the others. well before you.

and when someone you trust so deeply, someone you’ve followed for years, tells you that the person you love has betrayed your team?

you can’t help but believe them. and that’s what simon did.

the evidence was coincidental at first. wrong place, wrong time. but then, everything started to seem like more than a coincidence. pieces of a complicated puzzle were fitting together. things only you and the rest of the 141 would know were leaked.

and all the signs pointed to you.

and although he didn’t want to, simon couldn’t help it. the second price had confided in him that you may be the rat, simon began to distance himself. you had been confused, but he had offered no explanation.

price was the one to question you first. it was a heated conversation in his office, consisting of him showing you the evidence and you becoming furious at the accusations.

johnny came to you next, buttering you up with his flirtatious and unarming words before asking if you’d leaked information.

then there was kyle, who pleaded for the truth. he told you that a case was being built against you, and that if you came clean now, things wouldn’t be so bad.

simon never tried to talk to you about it. the other men would tell him what you’d said, but he had never gone to talk to you himself.

maybe it was pride. simon wasn’t trusting, not after his past. he had let the 141 in, had let you in. and now you were a suspected traitor, and he was angry at himself. angry he hadn’t seen it sooner; angry he’d let you in at all.

but maybe it was hurt. hurt that you’d done this to him, to the team, after knowing everything they’d been through. after stitching up wounds on the battlefield and taking bullets for one another. after sharing simon’s bed and whispering you loved him.

all he knew was that he trusted price. and as evidence built, so did the distance between the two of you, until you were tied to that chair.

and simon had taken his hurt, his anger, out on you. he wasn’t proud of it, and he knew now that he was wrong. but he was still a little angry. angry because you couldn’t see his side of things— not like he could see yours.

so, he was an ass. he didn’t apologize. he snuck flowers to your bedside but kept his distance. he told you to watch your tone because you were still part of the team, and speaking to price like that was only something an outsider would do.

and he told you that he’d spared your life because he had. anger had consumed him, and truthfully, you were lucky he hadn’t done worse.

even if he’d smothered his feelings for you with rage, he still harbored love for you, and that’s why some part of him held back.

he knew you would probably never forgive him. he had made his peace with that.

but he couldn’t stand the fact that you couldn’t understand why he’d done what he did.

the creak of the gym door opening broke simon from his thoughts. he pulled his mask back on before turning around and making his way to the door.

it took one firm knock on the door for price to answer.

the door clicked open, and price sighed when he saw simon, scrubbing a hand over his unruly beard before letting the taller man in. price turned, walking back to his desk chair, while simon closed the door behind him and locked it.

“this is a bloody mess,” the captain said, falling heavily into the chair. it squeaked at the sudden weight, old leather crinkling and crackling.

“doc came and saw me earlier, ‘fore she left for the night. told me about some new injuries, and yelled at me for letting that happen.”

simon didn’t speak. price’s eyes met his, and he sighed again.

“fuckin’ hell, simon. what the fuck did you say? doc said she had to stitch up both their hands.”

“doesn’t matter what I say,” simon spoke, eyes still on the captain “they won’t fuckin’ listen.”

price shook his head. “that’s not true, ‘nd we both know it,” he sounded tired as he spoke, dark bags under his eyes. he paused for a moment, then spoke again.

“spoke to laswell after you left earlier. she said she’ll try to speed up the transfer process. tryin’ to avoid more fuss, and im not fightin’ it any longer.”

“they’re part of our team,” simon spoke, tone rough.

price shook his head. “they are, but I can’t keep doin’ this. can’t keep pushin’ off transferin’ because of you lot. it may be better for us, but not for them.”

the room fell quiet. simon inhaled, exhaled. his fists clenched at his sides before quickly unfurling once more.

he didn’t have a right to be mad at you for leaving, but he was.

“laswell say anythin’ else about tha’ transfer?” simon asked.

price leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. “not much. no word on where or with who, but even if she knew, doubt she’d tell us. for their sake.”

simon gave a small nod and made to turn, but froze as price spoke again.

“she did say she didn’t know if it would go through. they’d have to pass another eval.”

they both knew what that meant. if laswell said that, then she didn’t believe the transfer would happen. kate wouldn’t outwardly say it, but price had known what she’d meant.

pushing the transfer through wouldn’t matter if you couldn’t pass a physical and psychological evaluation— and laswell didn’t think you could.

although he wouldn’t admit it, price was unsure, too. torture was something that took an incredibly devastating toll on the mind and body.

but torture at the hands of your team? there was no telling the damage that that would do to someone. to you.

an honorable discharge was more likely. and, if that was the case, then your rage would likely grow tenfold.

you career, your livelihood, taken from you by the hands of the men you trusted the most. your family, cutting you up and pushing you out.

damned by your team and your country, regardless of everything you’d done for both of them during your service.

you were just another cog in the machine, one that had been damaged and discarded, and a discharge couldn’t make that any clearer.

he thought back to what you had said in the gym earlier, before you’d left.

‘you should have killed me.’

maybe he should have.

thanks to everyone for your patience! also just incase you didn’t see my post about it—

im no longer doing a taglist! my side blog @troiastitans will reblog my works from now on, so if you want to know when I post, follow that account and allow notifications!

as always, thank you for the love! (also I hope you all enjoyed a little peek into simon’s head!)

#cod mw2 fic #captain john price #gaz call of duty #soap call of duty #ghost call of duty #captain price #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #johnny mactavish #john soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #kyle gaz garrick #kyle garrick #John price #simon riley x gn reader #simon riley angst #ghost x gn reader #ghost x you #ghost angst #ghost x reader #ghost cod #141!reader #141 x reader #task force 141

[daenysx]

Hii can you write where james and reader are both the only virgins in the group so decided to do it together to get it over with but then they started to do it more often bcs james is absolutely obsessed with her.

thank you for requesting, i hope you like this! requests are open!!

james potter x fem!reader, nsfw

becoming experts

james thinks maybe he should be embarrassed.

here he is, knocking on your door, standing at your doorstep with your favorite dessert in his hand. this is the third time in this week, and it won't be the last. he fixes his posture, puts a little smile on his face, and knocks on your door again. he is fine.

you open the door, wearing only your sleep shorts and a little tank top, which is both a blessing and a curse for james's poor heart. your hair seems a little messy, your face without any make up, and you look beautiful. your lips curve upwards when you see james at your doorstep, you are quick to pull him inside.

"hi, sweetheart." james says as he steps inside. "i hope this is not a bad time."

you look at him like he's said the silliest thing in the world. "come on, jamie, you know there's no such a thing as bad time for you."

"yeah, yeah, i'm glad." why is he acting so out of character? suddenly he's shy, blushing when you point at his hand.

"is that for me?" you ask, kind of shy but more comfortable than him.

he nods. "of course, there you go."

he gives you the box and you take it with a huge smile on your face. "thank you!"

james's heart takes a leap.

you lead him inside, your little living room looks cozy with all those blankets spread on your couch and the warm air covering the room. you take the dessert with two spoons, sitting on the couch and inviting james next to you. he takes off his jacket and kicks his shoes, sits next to you, hoping to be less awkward in the next moments of this act.

"would you like something to drink?" you ask.

james shakes his head. "no, maybe later."

you nod, taking a spoonful of your dessert. "this is perfect. literally the best thing in the world, thank you so much."

james laughs. "you're welcome, angel."

you look at his unused spoon. "why don't you eat?"

he doesn't know. his mouth is dry, he should get a grip on himself. "i'm-"

your lips look perfect around that spoon.

"you've got chocolate- here." he leans into your space slowly.

you smile, his fingers cup your cheek. "this is so cliche."

"you think so?" he whispers.

"you know," you begin. "if you want to kiss me, all you have to do is ask."

james leans back on the couch, suddenly free of shyness to jump on the opportunity. "what if i want more than just a kiss?"

"i'm sure we can do something about that." you take another spoon of chocolate sauce.

"oh, baby." james says, pulling you to his lap. "come here."

your hands are empty, you move quickly to him. your legs are on each side of his thighs and you sit gently. "how do you feel?" he asks, holding your hands.

"i'm fine. really, really good."

"you sound unnaturaly teasing. i thought that was supposed to be me."

you shrug. "i don't know, you act weird today. it's not like this is the first time we're being this close."

the best night of james's life was probably the night he'd spend at your apartment, in your bed. you were naked, so was he, the wine was kicking like a liquid courage as you had sex for the first time. you could expect weirdness between you two, you were both each other's first time and you had been friends for years, but it never happened. it felt so good and so right, james lost himself between your legs and you made sounds that you've never made before.

you were both inexperienced, subject of sirius's little teasings and remus's sympathetic looks when it comes to stuff about sex. you don't know how did things happened as they have that night, but suddenly you were kissing james. you could be afraid if this would ruin your friendship but at that moment everything was so good, you could never imagine the act could ever feel like this.

since that night, james had been to your apartment once more. he was just trying to make sure everything's okay between you and your friendship still stands. then, he was taking off his clothes and you were leaning towards him. you took his cock in your mouth for the first time and james forgot everything except your name.

now, here you are, trying to balance yourself on james's lap, keeping yourself still to not press against him. "james," you say. "it's okay. i- i want you too."

james throws his head back, his hands still holding yours. he looks at you through his glasses and smiles. "i just want you to feel good."

"i'm always feeling good when i'm with you." you say, honestly. "i think we fit each other really well and i- i want it, with you."

"yeah?" james pulls you closer. "you want it, pretty girl?"

you nod. james continues. "i guess we've got addicted." he says like it's a secret. "but that's okay. we can keep going as long as you're good with it."

you start the kiss and james exhales, finally. he cups your cheeks, angles your neck to deepen the kiss. you taste sweet, he licks the chocolate left on your lips. you whimper quietly, feeling him harden under you. this is good, you think. this is so perfect, it doesn't feel any wrong.

james's hands go to your back and he rubs your skin affectionally. he breaks the kiss to brush his lips on your pulse point. you take a breath, holding onto his shoulders. "james." you say. "i wanna go to bed."

he obliges, lifts you easily, and carries you to your bedroom. he is gentle when he puts you on bed, you are quick to take off your clothes. you are not shy to be naked around him, he makes you feel safe. you throw your clothes somewhere on the floor and settle down on bed, watching james.

he looks at you, eyes focused, and mouth slightly open. is he dreaming? this surely is better than any dream, you are lovely as you lay there and wait for him.

he doesn't intend to tease you or make you wait. you've been so honest and sweet with him, you deserve to get what you want. james makes a quick work of his clothes, leaving everything on the floor until he is bare in front of you. he gets on his knees on bed and reaches you. you part your legs obediently, without expecting a word from him.

"you're so pretty, sweetheart." james says, fondly. "you know that, right?"

you squirm under his hands. "jamie, please."

"you should know that." he says, kisses your chest. "you should be aware of the power you have on me."

you shake your head. "it's mutual, and you're being silly."

"let me be romantic for a second, yeah?" he kisses your perked nipple. "fuck, gonna give you everything you want."

"please." you say, losing your breath when he sucks your nipple. he likes using his mouth on you, you realize. he slowly goes down on your body and you laugh when he kisses below your belly button.

"tickles?" he asks, ever so playful.

you nod. "will you do it again?"

he answers by kissing the same spot over and over, turns you into a mess under his mouth. his fingers are quick to touch your cunt, he collects the wetness that starts pooling and rubs it all over. "will you let me taste you?" he asks, begging for a yes. "i wonder if you taste so sweet everywhere."

"you- i guess you can, if you want." you arch your back, subtly press your cunt against his mouth.

"if i want? i'm dying for it."

he buries his face between your legs, tries to get directing noises out of you. he's not experienced but he finds himself to be a quick learner when it comes to you. he licks the wetness out of you and pushes his tongue inside. you wrap your legs around his neck, the sensation is so strange but suddenly it starts feeling good. you remember the second time you had sex and how you felt insatiable to take his cock in your mouth. he must feel that way right now, you think, because he never stops making those wild noises as he uses his mouth.

james sucks your clit relentlessly. you whimper, his name becomes a song. he grips your thighs and holds you in your place. "james- so close- so clo- hmm-"

he lifts his head just for a second. "come for me, lovely girl. let go for me, this is perfect."

you obey, arch your back as he sucks again, and you're dripping in his mouth. james keeps licking, helps you through your peak. you feel so tired, so exhausted, so naked, and it's good. james keeps you steady, his cock twitches at the sight of your cunt, all swollen and licked.

"are you okay, baby?" he coos. "we can stop."

you shake your head. you can't stop because he's addictive. "i want you inside." there's no crumb of shyness left. "please, i want it."

james angles you to be more comfortable, he rubs the skin of your thigh. "gotta be slow, okay?" he says.

you nod, messy and desperate. "however you want."

he positions his cock in just the right way. he is being slow and quiet as he keeps pushing, he knows it's a tight fit. when you clench around him he can't help himself, he goes a little fast. "oh, angel." he whispers, mouth closed on your neck. he pushes himself again. "so tight, just like the first time i got you like this. you're gonna make me come soon if you squeeze around me like that."

you part your legs a little more, holding onto his broad shoulders. "i like this so much. so full, jamie."

james starts moving inside you, still careful but easier. you try to move your hips accordingly, it's like a new dance both of you are trying to learn better. he is worried he'll come too soon, because you're being irresistable.

"can you touch me- right, right there?" you ask, position his fingers on your clit.

"yeah, yeah, of course."

his fingers play with you until you start begging for him to come. he keeps pushing himself until he can't see straight anymore. "can i come? james, can i come again?" you melt, so close and so wet, you can hear the wetness pooling on bed.

"yes, come on, sweet thing." he pushes the deepest he's ever been, you clench so hard, he starts coming. "come with me."

you are sure you lose your sight for a second. james explodes on your belly, his strength helps him pull himself back before coming inside you but he keeps playing with your clit so you clench around him and nothing as you come. you see him, you see stars, you feel so sensitive. james groans as he holds his cock to let out every drop of his cum. he exhales your name, desperate to lay down with you on the bed. you are quick to pull him on your chest, he puts his head on your body, and listens your heartbeat.

minutes pass in silence as you both catch your breaths. james rubs your skin with gentle fingers. you stroke his curls, and press a kiss on his forehead.

"i think we're getting pretty good at this." you say, smiling.

"yeah, i guess we are quite the experts of sex now." he says. "can you imagine sirius's reaction?"

"oh, he'd probably never believe it." you say. "but that's fine."

james sits on bed. "would you like to have shower? we've made quite the mess of each other."

you nod, reach for his hand as you sit next to him. "jamie," you begin, "there's no one else that i'd rather do this with. you're- you're the only one for me."

james smiles, kisses your forehead lovingly. "i'd hope so, sweetness." he gives your hand a squeeze. "you're the only one for me, as well."

♡

(you can check here to find out about sirius and remus's reactions lovelies.)

#james potter #james potter x reader #james x you #james x reader #james potter x you #marauders #marauders smut #james potter one shot #james potter imagine #james potter smut #james potter fluff #james potter fic #james potter fanfiction #marauders one shot

[rusmii]

🎧₊ FUCK HIM, I'LL BE YO' BABY DADDY INSTEAD

homewrecker!chuuya, dazai, kunikida, fukuzawa, sigma, fyodor, nikolai x fem!reader who's in a toxic relationship

tags. hardcore smut, sfw hcs (not rlly sfw hcs), nsfw scenarios, toxic (ex) bf, ur favs fuck you so good🤞, cheating, fingering, g-spot hitting, stalking, manipulation, gaslighting, dubcon i think?, stalking, porn videos/photos, p->v, lying, no used protection, cuckholding, inviting third person, cowgirl, mating, doggy, cuffed and gagged, bondage gear, clit stimulation, praise/degration, spanking, revenge sex, sex ed lessons, oral (f/m), blowjobs, cunnilingous, nikolai eating readers pussy while carrying her on the wall, g-spot hitting, mentioned nikolai murdering your ex 💀, NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL, BANNERS/DIVIDERS MADE BY ME.

ps. I HATE THIS POST SM. IM NEVER WRITING SOMETHING LIKE THIS AGAINNN😭😭 !!!! as u can see i removed ango and tecchou..

i'm currently hosting a nsfw event for my 400+ followers that'll end when i hit 500 and im currently at 460+ already.. if u wanna join before it ends pls do so! I'll be posting all event reqs after the event closes <3

don't steal anything from @rusmii, including the contents of this post.

rules (for m.list) | taglist: @luvan1 @bfdazai @asqmi @squigglewigglewoo @liviash @doonifox @ishqani @xxcandlelightxx @iheartpieck @ezelium @saelique @little-miss-chaoss

00.1 #𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐀

CONFUSED ASF.

honestly brought up the topic abt calling the police multiple times.

is so sosososo confused on why you don't want him to help you and take care of the man :(

you're his best friend, so why don't you ask him for help??

well... he gets his answer one day when your urgently call him to come over.

The door swung opened. There, Kunikida saw you dressed in your skimpy lingerie with a small smirk on your face. "Kuni~ So glad to have you join us for tonight's punishment!" Confused, Kunikida raised his brow. "Is there something wrong?" He asks, allowing himself into the coze of your home — shutting the door lock. You shook your head, "No, just needed you and my boyfriend for something today." Your boyfriend. Concealing his snarl, Kunikida clears his throat and asks you to lead the way.

When you open the door down the hall, Kunikida is met by a man handcuffed and gagged in a chair as well as... bondage gear..? "[Name], what is this?" Kunikida questions, anxious about what you were going to say next. You say nothing and drag him inside the room, locking the door shut before having him sit on the bed. You bend your knees, now eye level to Kunikida's crotch, and what you say next surprises the fuck out of him. "Let's cuck my ex?"

Least to say, Kunikida couldn't deny your request — with how wonderfully beautiful you are, bouncing on his cock. He groans, your insides felt absolutely amazing. "[Name]~ Just like that, rotate your hips just like that - Ghnn~" He places his hands on your hips. You turn back to look at him, a lewd expression hidden by your composed structure. "Oh fuck! Mhm~ Kunii~ Your cock is so biiiigg!" You moan — Kunikida, as an ideal man, never thought that he'd let his best friend cowgirl him in front of her boyfriend. But yet again, you did say that he was your ex right before he started.

So he doesn't need to feel guilty because of his morals, right? That set aside, Kunikida glances at your ex, his face full of snot and tears. He grits his teeth, suddenly feeling hard as hell when he realizes that you were close. Your pussy clamps hard on his dick, the pressure causing him to thrust upwards. "OH!~ Fuck!~ Kunikida!!!~" You mewl, loving this sudden surprise. "Shut it - you whores are always so damn loud," he finally let loose, thrusting up roughly every chance he got.

You squeal, legs shaking and head thrown back. You could hear the muffle yells of your ex, but you didn't care. You didn't want to fuck his pussy soaked wrinkled dick from other girls. So as a last farewell, you spread open your legs — wide. "Kuni!~ Kuni!~ Gonna cum!~" You warn a second before you came — your juices spraying everywhere in front of you. Seconds after, Kunikida came deep inside your pussy — breeding you right in front of your ex boyfriend.

00.2 #𝐅𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐙𝐀𝐖𝐀

not much to say abt him since I didn't study up on his chara😞🙏

BUUT. fukuzawa would totally def be the type to let you come into his office at any given moment for his comfort :(

honestly wanted to murder the dude but remembered his principles and how he left behind that past, so he refrains from prying too deep into your business.

always there to lend a helping hand at tending to your bruises if you got any

even rubbing your clit to make you feel better on d-day of your break up:(

An audible groan came from you. Your legs spread wide open as you sat on Fukuzawa's lap. His fingers treading towards the depths of your lower half. "Fuku.." You whisper, turning your head to kiss him. He engulfs your lips without hesitation, his fingers finding your clit and circling around it slowly.

"There, there my lovely - he does not deserve you 'nor your love, my dear," he says softly into your ear. His raspy voice doing wonders to rile up your arousal. "It feels good~" A faint moan escapes from you as your fist clutches the fabric of his black haori — his green yukata wrapped around your naked body. "Does it? Then does this feel good as well?" He asks, his other hand on your breast, stimulating your nipple.

The soft tease of your privates sent waves of faint pleasure down your spine. "Hn~ Fuku~.. T-that - hic! Uh-huhh..~" You nod your head, unable to talk through your sobs. "Alright," he chuckles, fingers gliding back to your waist to bring your slipping body back up on his lap. "No need to cry, darling. That man does not know what he is losing." He wipes your tears.

Fukuzawa's hands grope at your breasts, softly and gently. "Break up with him today - you deserve better," he whispers into your ear, his fingers trailing down your breasts to your pelvic area. You hiccuped, feeling disarrayed. "But - Ghn!~" Cutting out any doubts you have left in your system, Fukuzawa flicks at your labia — his fingers making its way to your clit once again.

"You can. Don't let that man scare you." He starts rubbing at a rhythm he knows that's sure to get you squealing in his lap. "Fukufukufuku!~ - zawaannn!!" A long moan strides from your throat — his deep grumble faint. Fukuzawa uses his other to grab your cell, and the first looks for is your boyfriend's. As your high approaches it's max, you hear the sound of a phone ringing.

"As you cum, you're going to break up with your him," Fukuzawa whispers into your ear right before you heard your boyfriends agitated voice — never mind that. You feel his slender fingers slipping in and out of your cunt. The feeling excited you. "I - uh.. - 'M brea - Eehn!~ Breaking up with youuu!!~" You squeal, Fukuzawa's fingers being forced out with the pressure of your orgasm.

Fukuzawa hung up as soon as you announced it, rubbing circles on your stomach. "Good girl, you did so wonderful [Name]. See? There was nothing to fear."

00.3 #𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐌𝐀

this most likely happened at his casino

like say one day he sees you and goes "ooo pretty girl - nvm she got a husband'

but he sort of js watches you through his screens or subtly follows u around??? man can blend in but bit perfectly

so imagine his reaction one day when he catches your husband cheating on u with another girl in ur bedroom while u were in the shower?

yes he saw through the cams

easy! do the same while he's in the shower ;))

after sigma showed you all the evidence of your husband's affair, you were more than willing to get fucked the same way. "Fuck!~ Sir!~" You moan his name, yelping when a hand collides with your ass. "Shut it. Or do you want to get caught?" Sigma tuts, more motivated than ever when he hears your lewd mewls. But in truth, Sigma was nervous — what if you hadn't reacted the way you did? What then?

Your pussy clenches tight around his dick, bringing him back from stress hell. "Fuuck~ [Name], your - female reproductive system feels soo goood~" He moans from behind you, a hand smacking your ass. "Ah~ Th-the fuck - Gnh!~ Did you just say?" — "I said your pussy feels good! Now shut the fuck up before your cheating scum of a husband comes out and sees how much of a slut his wife is," he threatens — a sharp thrust ripping a moan out of you.

"A - yes sir! Mhmm~" A hand shoves your head down into the pillow. You hear Sigma mutter something, but you didn't bother to pay attention to it — having such good dick drill your pussy was mind numbing. "Ahn!~ Heen!!~" — "Shut up!" Sigma hisses, his thrusts speeding up. "Did you hear that? The tap turned off - your husband is coming out soon. And you better cream my dick before he does."

You mewl from his roughness, starting to feel that long awaited build up tip over. "Si-gmaa!!~ 'M cummin!!! Please! I'm gunna! - " The door is slammed open amidst your very loud moaning. You hear a gasp, and an angry shout come from the man behind you guys. "Shitshit - Mrs. [Surname] - your pussy feels sooo good," Sigma groans, pushing his dick inside your pussy as far as he can.

"[NAME]! What the fuck?!" — "Quiet. Your wife is a busy woman," Sigma shuts him up, pointing to your convulsing pussy wrapped around his dick.

00.4 #𝐅𝐘𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑

is honestly not surprised by how toxic your relationship is

he knows that you're a person who's easily manipulated by those you care about

an absolute doormat you were

fyodor understands the emotions; fear and sadness — but what he doesn't do is sympathize for those who has it

when you came crying to him about how your boyfriend wouldn't have sex with such an inexperienced woman, he knew now that this was the perfect opportunity to teach you the sex ed you didn't know

Fyodor's nimble fingers dangle down your jawline, your face clutched in his palm. "Open your jaw, Angel." Though what intended to sound like a gentle reminder, served as a command by the male above you. Opening your mouth without complaint, you let him guide your lips to the tip if his dick.

"Now remember," his soft voice echoes through the room. "Tongue first, swirl it. Then suck the tip." Doing as he says, you start off slow — the hand softly petting your head encouraging you pick up your pace. "Mhm~ Very good," Fyodor groans, watching as almost half his dick gets slobbered up by you. He smirks, the advice he was teaching you was to specifically pleasure him, and only him. But of course, you didn't need to know that. Not when you were following his instructions so good.

"Angel~ Such a good girl~" He moans when you start engulfing his cock whole. "Ghic - Mhm - Fwyo," you gurgle, choking on his dick. Despite that, Fyodor understood everything you were trying to convey. "Don't worry, darling. 'M close, you can breathe till then." A hand picks at the root of your hairs, massaging your scalp as praise.

You whimper, your oxygen level starting to get low. Attempting to get him off quicker, you use your hands to jack off the remaining visible skin. Fyodor hisses, an audible moan leaves his mouth when his dick twitches. "Angel - just like that~ Keep doing that, good girl - fuck - Ангел!" As his lips part, he slips in a foreign word to you — a jaw dropping grip held tightly on your scalp as he came.

Because of the tight space between your head and his hands, you were forced to stay where you were, taking everything his dick had to offer. After a minute or two, Fyodor leveled his breathing and peered down. Your etched tongue and wide-eyed expression made him tingle a bit — "God - [Name]..." he heaves breathlessly, caressing your hair. Oh ‐ Fyodor was going to teach you well all right — your boyfriend is surely going to love your newly learned techniques once he's done with you.

00.5 #𝐍𝐈𝐊𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐈

BRO. THIS GUY.

being dismissive of your situation is not like him at ALL.

so yk what he does??? straight up murders the man and dumps him into the river to free you

then what do he do after that??

go to your place, relax, make you laugh, and get you to feel better abt yourself! — I mean, not like you weren't already feeling good, your ex of a bitch is finally gone from your life

and nikolai does give you the best night treatment of all time too;D (totally not my make up for the lack of nikolai)

"Fuck! Nikolai!~" You cursed, burning pleasure filling your veins as you were slammed onto the wall. Your legs were wrapped around Nikolai's head as he ate you out, using his surprisingly muscular strength to carry you with ease. His tongue danced around your labia and into your folds, teasing your entrance with the tip of his tongue. "Niko..~ Do something!" You whine, pushing his head further down in an attempt to feel more than the teasing tingling bits of pleasure.

He pulls away, a toothy grin staring right up at you. "Nu-uh," was all he said before planting a kiss on your thigh. " 'M gonna eat this pussy out like hub star~" — "Then hurry the fuck u-p-oghnn!!~" Your back arches off the wall, his tongue digging straight into your cunt. "Niko-Nikoniko!~ Th-at..~ Don't stop!" You plead as you moan. The white-haired man smiles against your pussy, his tongue roughly fucking into your sopping cunt.

"Ehn!!~ Fuck! Right there~" Grinding your crotch on his absolutely slobbered face, you release a long train of squeals. Nikolai curled his tongue, trying to find your g-spot. It took a few tries, but he knew he got it when you flinched and started squirming in his arms. "Fwucking sluut~" Nikolai's giggles were muffled by your cunt — but that didn't stop him from giving you teasing comments.

" 'M not!!!- Oghhh!~" He smiles, knowing that you're close. " 'Yer gunna cum on my tongue 'n nothing else!" He says happily, slurping up all your juices before shoving his tongue back inside with full force. Curling with such vigor, that tiny piece of flesh was hitting all the right spots in your pussy. "Nikolai!!!~ Nikolai!~ 'M - 'M -- Cu - !!!"

Without warning, a blast of your juices spraying onto Nikolai's face, blinding him for just a moment. He shuts his eyes, eager to keep going until you're whimpering in overstimulation — "Was I a better muncher than that stupid boy toy of yours?~" He asks, through his lopsided and arousal slobbered smile. But before you could answer, you felt yourself being pulled off the wall and thrown onto the bed. Oh man, tonight was gonna be a long night of relaxation.

00.6 #𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈

give him credit, dazai is trying his best not to shoot him on site — fingers itching the trigger on the gun in his back pocket.

he literally stalks him and takes photo/video evidence of everything your boyfriend does — threatening to show the world about his infidelity to the world.

sure, people in Japan wouldn't care as much as people from the west but at least women know who to look out for.

so that's what he ends up doing — exposing him to the world and tagging his company, his hookups, his family, everyone that dazai could get his information on.

you, on the other hand, came crying to dazai's doorstep when you were blamed for everything.

perfect — he thinks. now that you were here, he'd show you how much of a douche your boyfriend actually was.

"[Name]~ Come on, I know you can do it," Dazai purrs into the nape of your neck, his hot breath fanning your ear. "I - 'M trying! Hn~" You moan uncomfortably. Being shoved face down into the sheets wasn't the idle position for you, but who were you to complain when you were getting dicked down so good.

Dazai thrusts inside your cunt slowly, forcing you to feel every vien and crook his dick had to offer. Your body shook, his dick plunging straight into your core — almost hitting your cervix. "Mhm~ Darlin', you feel so good," He praises. "Dazai..~" You mewl his name, your body responding to him well. Dazai's hand presses your back, forcing your face to dig deeper into the pillow. "Your boyfriend won't mind if I fuck my children into his girlfriends womb, hm?~"

"Heii!~ Y-yes he wouldhnn!!~" You grit your teeth, pleasure racking up your body as he rotates his hips slowly. Dazai made an annoyed grunt, "What?" He makes a sharp thrust. "That's not what he told me the other day." He says, shocking you. "Huh? - What does..nn~ That mean..?" You ask — questions full of doubt starting to take over. Did your boyfriend not care about you anymore?

Dazai chuckles, another calculated thrust sliding over your g-spot. Like he could he read your thoughts, he pats your ass softly. "Aw~ 'M, so sorry, dear... Has he not been telling you of all his bitches he's been fucking behind your back?" And right on cue, you start to thrash in his grip. "Shut up! No, he didn't! Osamu - I swear to god -" — "Then what's this?" Cutting you off, Dazai shoves his phone in front of your face and starts swiping on the multiple photos of girls being dicked by your boyfriend.

You froze, tears starting to well up in your eyes. Was he really doing these things behind your back?... "Poor [Name], so naive.." Dazai thrusts slowly behind you. You sniffle, "He.. - How long?" — "A week after you two started going out," he says, dragging a thrust. Dazai then swipes onto a video of your boyfriend and a girl in the same position as you and him — pressing play, he sets the pace and rhythm to match your boyfriends.

"See that? How he thrusts inside his bitch like you never existed?" His words stung, the moans of your boyfriends stung, everything stung. "If he's fucking her like that then..." A powerful, deep thrust came from him. "Then he wouldn't mind this, now would he?" You sigh, pleasure starting to consume your senses again. "Yeah.." You moan.

Closing your eyes and letting your head fall back onto the pillow. Dazai smirks, playing the video louder — thrusting faster to have your moans drown out the video. He could feel your cunt squeeze his dick — a painful groan escaped his lips. "Fuck - [Name] keep squeezing like that." His thrusts now shallow and fast. "Hiinnn!!~ Osamu!!~ Osamu!~ I - Can't -" — "Hold it," he orders, his sloppy thrusts becoming vigorous.

"Ha~ Mhm!~ 'Sam-'samu!!~" You squeal, legs giving up as you came — your pussy squeezing him so tight he only had a second to bracr himself for his orgasm. "Fuuuck~..." He groans next to your ear, dutifully creaming your insides. "Haa~ normally.. I'd call you a bad girl and - hgn~ Punish you, but..." He pulls out, flipping you over on your back and spreading your legs. He watches as his cum oozes out your pussy, and grabs his phone.

He angles the phone to capture his still hard dick along with your pussy and fucked out face. "This seems like a fitting punishment enough for another person." He laughs. Going to your boyfriends number and sending him the picture, captioned; 'Be prepared to raise my children;)’

00.7 #𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐔𝐘𝐀 (fic bonus!)

anger. anger was all he felt every time he opened his door to see your swollen eyes and packed backpack whenever you and your boyfriend had a fight.

"shit - you okay?" he would ask as he settles you in, bringing you a cup of hot chocolate to sip while he runs you a bath.

and when you tell him you're fine, he calls bullshit but doesn't pry you further, wanting to get you as comfortable as possible at the moment.

"why don't you leave him? you're friends with the fucking mafia for fucks sake." he groans next to you, a cozy blanket. a bit too intimate for friends but it didn't matter if you two were close friends.

"it takes time. besides, i love him too much to leave him like that." you would reply back, leaning your head on his shoulder. the action not helping him stay in his lane.

it starts with small and subtle actions. things your boyfriend would refuse to do, chuuya did with/for you.

it made your heart swell every time, and just when chuuya thinks he's finally got you in his grasp — you go and happily announce your ex's fake ass apology.

this irks chuuya to the fucking core. what the hell does that serial cheat have that he doesn't? he's got money, looks, hell — the goddamn loyalty your ex lacks.

but every failed opportunity eventually combines into a one in a life time chance, right?

You sniffle, the alcohol intoxicating your system was finally reaching its peak. you glance at chuuya, his red face from the intensity of the situation and the wine from moments earlier made you fell swell inside. "Chuuya," you tug on his sleeve, making him look at you. "What? Wanna talk shit 'bout that dick more? -" — "- I think I love you."

Chuuya froze — was he hearing things right? Or was it just the alcohol buzzing his brain? "What?" He asks, still unsure of what he heard. "Thank you," you corrected your mistake, turning away when he attempts to lean closer to you. "No - I heard what you said. You said you loved me," he insists, taking you by the arm when you try to get up. You shook your head, invulnerability starting to wall up. "No, I didn't."

"You did." He repeats, dragging you back down into his lap. Though you couldn't see him, you could feel him burying his head into the back of your neck. "You love me," he whispers again — like it was some sort of affirmative confirmation. You stayed silent, afraid of what you might say next.

But what happens next is a blur. One thing happened that led to another, and another, and another — A groan falls next to your ear. His lips pursed, giving your ear a soft kiss before moving down to where your neck was. A line of hickies was the aftermath of the marking attack. "Chuuya," you say.

"I know," he says back. Stripping you of your clothes while trying to unbuckle his belt at the same time. You took pity on his struggle and took off your own shirt, unlacing his belt for him with a few twists. He stood on his knees, drunkenly watching with only one goal in mind — to take care of you.

"Lay down for me," he commands — your nimble fingers pressing against his chest as he circles up your waist, unclipping your bra and tossing it aside. Listening without a complaint, you lay still — the humming buzz from the wine, making you feel light-headed and impulsive. Chuuya's fingers make it to the waistband of your underwear, pulling on the elastic to stretch it — dragging the piece of cloth down your legs.

The cold air presses your labia — a foreign feeling from the lack of sexual activity between you and your boyfriend. And Chuuya knew that all too well. So when his fingers approach your lips, he's careful to gently touch it. You whine, the feathery feeling of his fingers rubbing your folds wasn't giving you enough stimulation to feel pleasure.

Chuuya swats away your hand from your clit, tsking as he does so. " 'M the one taking care of you - trust me, m'kay?" He soothes you, placing your hand back down to the side before readjusting his position. Chuuya was now hovering over your body — his already lubricated fingers pushing in one at a time. Your breath hitched, toes curled, and lashes futtered. "Ch-chuuya~..." You moan his name, the foreign feeling being washed away by a new sense of tingling pleasure. "Don't moan my name just yet - we haven't even got to the fun part," he says, his lone finger curling over your sensitive spot.

"O-okay - Hc!~" Another finger entered you. This time, the burning stretch was more noticeable. Chuuya notices your slightly scrunched face and bends down to give you a chaste kiss. "It's 'kay," he mumbles on the corner of your lips. " 'Tis only gonna hurt for a little bit - I know pain like this will soon turn into ecstasy for my girl when I do this." He curls his fingers, both brushing over your g-spot while he does. "Ghn ~ Hic -" Your eyes roll up slightly, the sudden bundle of pleasure hitting you like a boulder.

"Fuck - Fuck~" You drunkenly moan, the back hairs of your nape zizzing up from the chill. "Mhm, keep doing that," you command, letting out another loud moan when Chuuya rolls over your g-spot again. "Clit stim?" He asks, already rubbing your nub with another finger — but really, there was no point in him asking if he was just going to go ahead and do it. "Sh-it ~" A moan came from you, your head tilted back.

After a few more curls of his fingers, you felt that pressure in your abdomen that you craved for so long. "Chu-Chu- 'M gonna - Cu - Hnn~" His fingers picked up the pace when he heard your little warning. "Cummin'?" He chuckles, his fingers rubbing your spot. "Chuuya!~" You moan his name, feeling your approaching high climbing the coaster faster. "Fuck - can't believe I get to experience this. So fucking pretty - 'yer so damn beautiful." He praises. A combo that never ended well with holding out on your orgasms.

Your back arches, feet kicking the sheets as your hands desperately grasp for anything it can. "Cu-Please~ 'M - " — "Cum for me," Chuuya orders, his final swirl causing you to spiral. The peak of the coaster now falling down. "Shiiit - pretty girl." Chuuya spoke as he watches you drench his fingers. Once you were done with your high, you look up at Chuuya — his face glaring with glea. "Hi."

"Hi. How was it?" He asks you, rubbing soothing circles on the side of your leg. You laid there, reflecting on what you just done. Letting your best friend finger the fuck out of you even though you had a boyfriend. Oh fucking — what a damn predicament you were in. "I -.. I don't know." You admit, the awkward feeling of post orgasm hitting you. In a way, you felt guilty. Cheating on your boyfriend like that — but at the same time you felt giddy. The pleasure of sex finally being given to you by your best friend.

"Don't think too hard 'bout it," he picks up your hand and kisses your knuckle. "I'll be a better baby daddy then that fucker ever was." He winks with a smile, bringing your hand down to his twitching cock.

"I'll be a better baby daddy then that fucker ever was." Was the last rational thing you heard before you started stroking his cock. His breath hitched — a sigh of pleasure escapes his lips. "Fuck - you really know how to stroke a cock," he chuckles, watching as you smear his precum around his dick. "Hm~ Maybe you just never had a good stroke before," you tease his tip, a bubbly smirk donning your face.

He grins, stopping you from doing anymore and pushing you down on the bed. "Maybe - how 'bout you show me how good pussy feels next," he challenges, pushing inside your already stretched cunt. "Oh fuck! - Chuuya~" You moan, his dick curving perfectly inside your walls. "Hnn..." He grunts above, throwing your legs over his shoulders. "Finger fucked the shit outta' you earlier. Now my dick is gonna do the same," he pulls out just to the tip and gives you a harsh, first thrust.

Angling his thrust perfectly on the first try, Chuuya groans when he feels your walls clamp tighter. "Shiiit - baby you feel so fuckin' good." You moan at his praise, the feeling of his dick so snug inside was making you tear up. "Mhm!~ Chu - Hic - Good! Soo guuudd~" You slur on your words — Chuuya dicking you down better then any man that has even touched you.

He smirks, rotating his hips, watching as your eyes water even more due to the slight intoxication from the wine earlier. "Hnn~ Wait - 'Tis not enough." You whine, your head drooping to side. Chuuya curses. In normal circumstances, he'd tell you to ease up and love you slowly — but now? well, now the alcohol wants him to go to pound town on your pussy. And he was going to do exactly that.

Chuuya pulls out to the tip again, slamming his hips against yours as he thrusts inside. This time, instead of getting you adjusted to his cock, Chuuya fucks you with vigor. "Fuck!~" You moan, back arching off the bed a little. "Bitch wanna get fucked like the little cheating whore you are? Shit - I'll give ya' the same fuckin' treatment as porno hires." Threat or not, it was fucking hot. You loved the dirty talk and rough treatment Chuuya was giving you.

Folding you over, Chuuya picks up his pace — his dick now ghosting out of your entrance as it fills up your cunt every millisecond. "Chuuyya~ Chuuya!~ Chuuyaahnn!!~" He hears you sputter his name — drool dripping down from the corner of your mouth. Chuuya sees and sticks his fingers inside your mouth, moaning at the sudden clench of your cunt. "T-Toooo muuuchh!!!~" You gag on his fingers, tongue webbing around them.

"Nah - you said you needed this," he lied, putting words into your mouth. "So don't go fucking wailing like a damn hurt dog - remember, you were the one who pounced on me like a cheating little slut." He exaggerates on the last three words like it was his bragging rights. "C-can't!" You twist your body, the overwhelming pleasure building too much on your abdomen. Chuuya cooed, mockingly. "Yes, you can, sweetheart. Don't let my dick get in the way of your creamin'."

A loud moan escapes Chuuya's mouth as your pussy latches onto his dick — dragging its velvety walls so nicely. "Fuuuckiinn---ggg shiiiiit - [Namenamename] - making me feel so - Ghn~ Fuck! Good~" — Hiinnnn!!~ Chuuyyaaaa!!!~" You both spew nonsense at the same time, the wine finally taking its toll on your conscious control.

"Fuuckfuckkfuckfuckkk~ 'M cummin - Shit I'm -" Chuuya whines, the pleasure overtaking him, his rhythm stuttering and his dick twitching uncontrollably inside your pussy. You couldn't even speak anymore — all sorts of voiced thoughts were replaced by moans. "Shit - you cummin'? Can feel you squeezing the shit outta' my dick..." He grunts.

After a couple more thrusts and Chuuya's fuse fucking blew. He was cumming so hard his eyes rolled back and he had to clutch you to keep himself grounded. Once he opened his eyes, he was met to the sight of your fucked out, twitching body — and a lovely creampie! Hopefully, your boyfriend doesn't mind the fact that you two didn't use protection.

hi. I hate this post.

#𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗘𝗗 𝗕𝗬 𝗥𝗨𝗡𝗜⸸⸸ #i stress wrote the fuck out of this all night #yes the title was random #this was originally gonna be a chuuya short smut fic #but i decided to be nice and do everyones favs <3 #chuuya x reader #dazai x reader #kunikida x reader #fukuzawa x reader #sigma x reader #fyodor x reader #nikolai x reader #chuuya smut #dazai smut #kunikida smut #fukuzawa smut #sigma smut #fyodor smut #nikolai smut #bsd x reader #bsd smut #bungou stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs smut

[sugarlywhispers]

s.kiyoomi + gf moments

☆— fem reader, crack, fluff

☆— a/n; i don't know what this is, i just had a thought and felt like writing it.. it could become a serie of events until the Sakusa Kiyoomi finally admits he loves y/n (?) idk, let me know if you like the idea😊

You have been best friends with Bokuto since you were young. Your friendship was so fun and purely like brother and sister that you even decided to move together once high school was over and your University period of life began. Even if you were very different in personalities, somehow you both worked together and couldn't imagine a life without him as your bestie-almost brother.

After some time living together, you got very used to seeing some people around the house almost everyday, his volleyball teammates.

First, it was Miya Atsumu and Sakusa Kiyoomi. Atsumu was the biggest flirt you have ever encountered in your life, almost to the point in which sometimes it annoyed you. In a good way though. He was a cutie.

While Kiyoomi was very chill and shy, he mostly kept to himself if no one bothered him; but he had the most snarky and filled with sarcasm answers for whatever antics Boo and 'Tsumu could come up with. You loved it.

Then Hinata Shouyo joined the team, and it was like a whirlwind uprooted everything in his path. He was the most outgoing and sociable and kind human being you have ever met.

And it all became like a routine. Everyday after practice, all of them would come to have dinner at yours and Boo's apartment. By this time, you already know all of them and how they all liked things and their meals. Especially Omi. He was a particular, rare especimen.

Bokuto had warned you before introducing him, how he did not like physical contact or how he wouldn't take off his mask if he wasn’t playing in a match or eating. He warned you not to feel offended or take it personal if he bluntly commented on how things were not clean enough or whatever.

But surprisingly, he had never looked down on anything in your apartment or even commented anything in front of you.

There was even one time he did comment in the middle of dinner, "I'm surprised how you maintain everything this clean and organized considering you live with Bokuto…"

"Hey!" Boo complained, mouth full of food, while everyone laughed.

That same night, Boo had pestered you about how the Sakusa Kiyoomi liked you. Of course, you couldn't believe it. The man barely spoke to you outside of those moments the team was present at your apartment. 

It was until one night, when everyone came of course after practice to have dinner you were already cooking, when he did something you never thought he would do.

Of course, the amount of noise they made even before getting inside the apartment was a clear sign they were almost there. Shouyo and Boo always came straight to hug, picking you up and squishing you hard as a greeting. Atsumu would fist pump and wink at you before throwing himself on the sofa, of course putting some other volleyball's team match on the TV. While Omi would simply bow slightly with his head, not even getting too close to you, standing on the entrance of the kitchen.

By this time, you already knew and respected each one of them and their ways to show how much they appreciated you.

"It smells so good, Y/N," whined Shouyo as he entered the kitchen and made his way to the fridge to pick something to drink.

Omi was so quiet you have not realized he had followed the red-mostly orange-head and was standing at the door of the kitchen.

"I'm glad you think that," you smiled happily.

"He says that about almost everything. He would eat a bug and say exactly the same thing if he's hungry enough."

To say that you were surprised to hear his deep voice speak that amount of words was small. Yet, you couldn't avoid finding it funny how he always got the cleverest answers and dark humor. So you laughed, while Shouyo pouted, drinking from the beer he took from the fridge–it was Friday night after all.

You kept cooking, smiling and listening to how Shouyo complained to his teammate how evil he was with him when he was all nice to him.

"Alright you two…" you meddled, smiling happily at the incessant noise from everyone around, "If you're gonna keep arguing, you could at least help on setting the table, right?"

They both nodded while moving around to find what they needed, still arguing, but now about something else which sounded like Shouyo's height. Omi loved getting on Shouyo's nerves when it came to his height.

"What's that, Y/N?" Shouyo suddenly asked, signaling to a set of a plate, forks, a glass and a mug that were separated in a corner of the cupboard.

"Oh. That's Omi's," you said, your attention anywhere but said man.

"I don't remember leaving my stuff here," he commented, with no mean intention in his voice towards you.

"No, I mean… I know you don't like your stuff mixed with everyone's, so I picked a set I always clean twice and kept it separated from everything else. No one touches or uses that but you," you answered him, still looking at the food you were cooking over the oven.

Oh, God, kill me now, was all you thought as silence reigned in the kitchen.

But then, you felt a tall, warm presence behind you. You knew it was Omi, Shouyou was not that tall–he was only a head over yours, while you knew Omi was much taller.

It was the first time the Sakusa Kiyoomi got that close to you and it shocked you to the core. But what surprised you the most was when you felt his chin rest on your head comfortably.

"Thank you, Y/N," you could feel the vibrations of his deep voice and the rumble of his chest on your back saying your name, his entire dark but comfy aura so close to you, all you could think was how good it felt.

If you would have turned a bit to Shouyo's direction, you would have seen him with his eyes open wide, like those funny cartoons where their eyes popped off their face to express shock. Thankfully, he didn't say anything, he simply turned on his feet and flew from the kitchen to the living room where Tsumu and Boo were.

"You're welcome," was all you could say, almost a whisper, as he comfortably stayed there, barely a centimeter of distance between his body and yours.

If you weren't shocked enough by that, you definitely almost collapsed when you felt one of his fingers timidly caress your hand that was not holding the spoon you were cooking with, resting next to your hip. It had been barely a touch, yet the warmth and little tingling it provoked made you take a deep breath to gather your mind straight.

If you hadn't before, now you definitely were falling for this rare specimen. 

#haikyuu au #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyu x reader #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x you #haikyū!! #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kyoomi x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa scenarios #haikyuu sakusa #msby sakusa #msby imagines #sakusa fluff

[im-am-not-a-weenie]

🍓playing with their hair for the first time

Writing bg3 hc Now! Will also still be doing rdr2 a/n at the bottom for more info! spelling errors

Gn Reader

Gale, astarion,halsin,

Establish relationships

🍓Gale

You see Gale sitting all alone enjoying a good book. He always looked cute when he was enjoying what he was reading, he looked so concentrated and expressive

You couldn’t help but walk over to the wizard. “Mind if I join you?”. He smiled and patted the ground beside him “Of course, what’s better than a good book? Good company to share it with”

You sat down and made yourself comfortable ” What are you reading” You looked curiously over at the book in the wizard's hands. “Ah, It’s nothing really, just another tail of dragons and knights. I could read it aloud if you wish?”

He looked a bit nervous “On second thought you’ve probably grown tired of hearing my voice”. You gave his arm a reassuring squeeze “Never”

You laid back, Gale didn’t look very comfortable, being hunched over “Here,” you said sweetly and pulled him down so his head was on your lap “Better?” He looked a little stiff but quickly regained his composure “Yes, yes it’s quite nice”

As He started to read Your hand absentmindedly went to his hair, and your fingers started to card through his brown locks, you felt him tense but then relax back into it

You closed your eyes and leaned your head back listening to him read, but after a long you heard him trail off, opening one of your eyes to peek at him you could see he was starting to doze

With a smile, you gently took the book out of his hands “Huh?” He opened his eyes to look at you. ”you were falling asleep” your hand still in his hair

“Could You…could you maybe keep doing that?” Gale mutters sheepishly. You just laughed softly and smiled

That night Gale fell asleep with a smile on his face and your hands in his hair

🍓astarion

The party decided it would be best to stay at a tavern that night, treating themselves and of course, astarion headed straight towards where the bath was located

It had been an hour and still no sign of him, getting a tad bit worried you decided to go check on him, you knocked on the door softly “Star? Are you alright in there?” You were met with a muffled “Yes darling quite alright”

After a few minutes you hesitantly “Can…can I come in?" he automatically responded with a "Yes darling"

as you opened the door thick clouds of steam poured out. "hurry my love, we wouldn't want it to get cold in here now would we?" astarion was sitting in a bath you could only assume was boiling hot water "Star, how hot is that bath? your skin is red" he waved off your concern

"now what did you need?" his eyebrow raised in curiosity. "I was hoping to join you honestly" his expression dropped as he opened his mouth to speak but then closed it

"You can say no" your voice filled with nothing but love and encouragement. he hesitates for a moment before finally saying "It's just I don't believe the tub would be big enough for us both that's all" he flashed you a charming smile. you knew there was a deeper reason but didn't push

"i was actually thinking of just sitting in here with you. Would that be ok?' he looked taken aback "You just wish to sit here with me that's all?" you gave a nod "Well I mean who wouldn't want to sit here and marvel at my beauty, go ahead"

as he reached for the soap you beat him to it "Here let me." pouring a generous amount of soap into your hands, making your way behind him, first lathering the soap in your hands before sinking them into his hair

"What are you doing?" his body tensed up slightly. "washing your hair what does it look like" teased him with a sweet voice as your fingers gently massaged his head. "I get that darling but why?" his voice sounded unsure, not used to non-sexual intimacy.

"Because I love you, and you deserve to get pampered" his breath caught in his throat and quickly cleared it "Of course I do, I'm glad we're on the same page." you gave him a small laugh as you kept washing his hair, he closed his eyes and lent back into your hands. you swear you could hear him purring

you both sat in comfortable silence until he softly said "I love you too" You could hear the faint smile on his lips without having to see it

🍓Halsin

this morning was a rare morning, not only did you wake up early voluntarily, but you woke before Halsin which never happened. (to be fair he just got back from a long and exhausting journey but still!)

waking up feeling warm. not sure if it was because of how the sun was hitting your face or because of the giant man holding you close to him

your eyes fluttered open and you were met with the sight of a sleeping Halsin. he looked peaceful. the sun made him look radiant, glowing almost, as his chest rose and fell with a steady rhythm. something else caught your eye. he had his hair down

yes his hair was always down but it was always pulled back, but this morning it sprawled messily over his pillow, and a couple stray strands laid on his face. you couldn't help but reach out and brush it away

his eyebrows frowned before he quietly spoke "Your hands are cold" You quickly retracted your hand. "sorry" you whispered back, Halsins eyes opened slolwy. blinking away the sleep, he smiled and grabbed your hand and placed it back on his cheek, and kissed the palm of your hand. "it's ok my heart"

you could feel your face heat up all you could do was smile dumbly "It's down" was all you said and tucked a few more pieces behind his ear. "does it bother you my heart?' you shook your head, all too eager to see the druid with his hair down. "no, I like it"

running your hand through his usually well-kept hair. "how is it so soft" you wondered out loud, Halsin just chuckled and let you have your fun.

he let out a content sigh. "awfully affectionate this morning. not that I mind" his lips pressed against your forehead. "Is something the matter?"

"no, I just missed my bear that's all" You studied his face, taking in every detail. "I think I finally understand the whole "appreciate nature's gift" thing." the druid just laughed warmly and shook his head fondly

the two of you spent all morning like that. his arms wrapped around you and you playing with his hair

🍓A/N

hey guys im back! so much as happened i graduated and im 19 now? life has been crazy!! i know this is different from my usual content but playing baulders gate gave me inspiration to write again. dont worry i will still take requests for RDR2 but i will also be writing for BG3. With that said im cleaning out my inbox so if you see your request finally go through a year later.............🤷‍♀️. i will also be taking BG3 requests. i did astarion, gale, and halsin i think i can write them comfortably. but do not be scared to request other characters if you really wanna see me write for them or have a really specific scenario in mind. i will also try to post every other Wednesday

love yall and thx for the support <3

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #gale x reader #halsin #halsin x reader

[werecreature-addicted]

Do you remember your writings about a minotaur and a farmer girl? Well, how about this, one night there is a party in the small town, you know, and that day both humans and monsters attend, it is a day when everyone can have fun and relax, humans, werewolves, half-snake creatures, orcs, minotaurs, etc, anyway, in the town the minotaur realizes that the girl he lives with is somewhat "popular" among some humans and monsters, since it shows that some have an interest in her, you know, they are in love with her, and well this is something that makes our minotaur jealous 🤭

part one, two, three. and for those who didn't see the Minotaur's name is Sam now.

Sam looks up at the dazzling lights that flit through the night sky. Fireflies glow in the dark like stars. Children run around with glass jars trying to catch the small insects. There's so much noise, it's a little overwhelming, children shrieking in delight, groups of people talking loudly, and a little further down a band was playing.

You reach out and squeeze his hand, reminding him that he isn't alone.

"It's pretty, isn't it? I'm so glad you decided to come to the solstice festival with me," you say smiling. It is a beautiful summer night, and having you with him makes it all the better. he can't help but think that you're pretty tonight too.

"You've been begging me for weeks to come with you, I couldn't say no," he murmurs. it wasn't quite true, you'd just been hinting over and over again that he should come out with you tonight. You laugh and squeeze his hand again before letting go completely, and he fights the urge to pull your hand back in his and cling to you a little longer. Sam craves your touch more than he should, your hands are warm, and small in his, and they make him feel at ease in a place like this, surrounded by noisy strangers. Even though he's out of his element, he is glad he came, he feels better knowing he can keep an eye on you, and keep you safe, should the need arise.

You'd promised him other nonhumans would be there tonight, and you'd spoken the truth. everywhere you looked there were werewolves, nagas, and some paler humans he could only assume were vampires, Still, he felt like he stood out, he was a good foot taller than anyone else here, and he did notice the nervous glances he was getting. He gets it. he's big and scary, covered in scars, and has a broken horn.

The people of the town surprise him. many people came up to him and started a conversation, even though they were clearly nervous. He hated it. And he hated that he hated it. He still wasn't good at talking to anyone who wasn't you, just because you're nice and treat him with respect doesn't mean All humans are like that, he knows all too well just how cruel most of your kind can be.

That being said, most people coming up to him weren't actually there for him but for you. He knew you were lovely, kind, charming, and attractive, but he's a little surprised that so many others thought the same. It seemed like half the town wanted to catch up, buy you a drink, take you for a dance. humans and monsters alike.

He feels the jealousy spike, he wants to hoard your attention, and selfishly keep you all to himself. The two of you were basically alone on the farm, he'd almost forgotten what it was like to have to share your attention. and it's not a welcome change. Luckily for him, you don't seem eager to leave his side. You politely turn down the handsome werewolf who asked you for a dance. You seem perfectly committed to staying by his side this whole night, just like you promised you would. there are no words for how grateful he is that that's true.

"I don't know how to dance," he admits softly as the werewolf walks away.

"What?" you ask, not following his train of thought.

"I mean. if you want to dance tonight, that's not something you can do with me," he explains, his mood darkening as he thinks about the things you couldn't do with him that you could with a more normal man. He thinks about all the people who've talked to you tonight, any one of them would make a better more stable partner than him. He feels guilty for wanting you, especially when he considers how much he doesn't deserve you.

"No one was born knowing how to dance, Sam, it's a skill, you practice and you learn. If you want I can teach you," you offer. Sam felt the blood drain from his face, He'd fought countless bloody fights and none of that was as terrifying as the idea of trying to learn to dance in front of such a large crowd. You laugh lightly seeing the look on his face,

"At home, I'll teach you when we're alone, besides this-" you gesture to the band playing "-isn't really my style, I'll figure something better for us to dance to," you assure him, and he relaxes. Dancing, alone with you, at home. your shared home. it makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Love is not a word that he never uses ever, and he rarely even allows himself to think it, but he's not sure how much longer he can keep the words inside. He's sure that if you really do teach him to dance that will be his breaking point, or maybe he wouldn't say "I love you" but he might just kiss you deeply instead. Then again, maybe he should, if you were officially his it might keep some of the other men in town away from you. He wouldn't mind that at all.

#monster imagine #monster fucker #monster #monster boyfriend #teratophillia #minotaur x reader #minotaur boyfriend #minotaur

[forlix]

‧ ❆ ˚ 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 (besides myself)・l.f.

— you spend three years loving him, six months losing him, and four hours waiting for him to get the hell out of your house. but the human heart is more stubborn than you know.

words・5.4k

pairing・lee felix x gn!reader

genres・babysitter!au, girldad!lix, nobody look at me, toothrotting fluff, more angst than originally intended tbh, exes to lovers, hurt/comfort, happy ending yayyy, non-linear storyline

warnings・cousin has a korean name and experiences one (1) minor head bump, mc is temporarily heartbroken and experiences one (1) breakdown

playlist・house song by searows・glad by tori kelly・let's pretend by del water gap・you were good to me by jeremy zucker

a/n・hiiii my loves, i'm so unbelievably excited to bring u my first contribution to my and @astraystayyh's collaboration, "winter falls" ♡ every time i write for our ray of sunshine i'm reminded of how thankful i am to love him. this fic ruined me. hope it does the same to you (smile)

I. everything

“One day,” you muttered to the toddler sitting on your shoulders, “you’ll experience something deeply, irreversibly humbling, and I’ll be there to witness your downfall.”

Byeol responded to this with an unbothered babble. She then gathered two handfuls of your hair and yanked using far too much force to be biologically possible.

You folded like a lawn chair. “Mother—!”

Oh, that word was not suitable for button-sized ears.

“—oh, my dear mother, why? Why me?”

Technically speaking, your aunt should’ve been the target of your lamentations, but all she did was produce the child presently steering you around the kitchen like you were her own personal bumper car. Your own mother was the one who volunteered you to watch said child during the first weekend of your winter break. Only for an hour until the babysitter arrives, she’d said (raising her voice, so as to be heard over your groaning).

You adored Byeol. She made scarily accurate chipmunk sounds and possessed an immobilizing fear of grapes. She bust out a dance move before she took her first steps. The girl could have you floored with laughter without being able to say more than three words at a time. Still, this was far from how you imagined onsetting your desperately-needed few weeks off. Not to mention it was now half past three; your shift should’ve ended two minutes ago.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Byeol emitted an excited onomatopoeia like a golden retriever detecting the mailman. Your reaction wasn’t too far off; you swiveled your head in the sound’s direction, sang out “coming!” in a delighted vibrato, and twirled into the foyer, your hands around Byeol’s ankles anchoring her in place.

You cracked open the door and found yourself face-to-face with Byeol’s babysitter. The freckles scattered across his high cheekbones and sloping nose seemed to you like they were imprinted by the sun itself. His hair was dark, falling just shy of pitch black, and long, ending an inch or so below pierced ears. A few misbehaving strands rested over his forehead but did little to obstruct your view of his eyes: profoundly brown and pointed at either end, like poinsettia petals.

He was the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. You felt your skin warm, your heart flip. You opened your mouth. 

Then Byeol hit her head against the vertical edge of the front door, loud enough for it to echo.

The panic that seized you in that moment was truly unlike anything you’d experienced before. You caught one glimpse of the stranger’s expression (as mortified as you expected), and then you were seeing your own epitaph on the inside of your eyelids, engraved with the four words “Death by Furious Aunt.”

“Was that—?” The man sputtered, and his voice was rich and full and accented and just as breathtaking as the rest of him and holy fucking shit now was not the time.

“My fucking god,” you whispered, completely forgetting to watch your mouth. In a hurry, you swung Byeol off your shoulders and dropped to a knee. You leaned in close to examine her reddening forehead and cradled the plush of her cheek; she blinked at you a few times, fascinated by the sudden sight of your face again.

“You okay, Byeollie? That hurt a lot, didn’t it? I’m so, so sorr—”

Byeol started to laugh.

Not laugh as in those little chuckles she let out randomly, like there was something inherently amusing about the kitchen cupboard, but laugh as in a boisterous, resounding guffaw, like a great-uncle at a family gathering off one too many martinis.

This rendered you speechless for the second time in under a minute. Then, you lifted your other hand to cradle her other cheek, her face now sandwiched between your palms, and squeezed.

“I broke my cousin,” you whispered, your voice was so deathly serious that the man in the doorway had to stifle a laugh of his own.

His knee brushed against your shin as he sat down to your left, folding his legs into a criss-cross. You could discern notes of lavender and orange blossoms in the delicate cologne that clung to him, perforated the air and your mind both.

“Can I?” He asked.

“Please.”

Carefully, you shifted Byeol’s small frame towards him; the manner in which he accepted her was so smooth and practiced that there was no doubt in your mind you were watching a professional at work. He settled her on his right knee, then dipped his head to look her in the eye.

“Hi, princess,” he cooed with a dulcet smile. He curved his pointer finger, dusted it beneath her chin. “Why are you laughing, silly girl?”

Oh.

Oh.

You might just continue your lineage after all.

“Y/N-ie,” she answered, still tittering.

He looked to you with a slight tilt to his head, and you nodded affirmatively. He murmured a quiet ah. “What about Y/N-ie?”

Somehow you sensed that she was about to embarrass you and pinched the bridge of your nose—in preparation.

“P-pretty.” I knew it!

The man let out the laugh he’d been holding back since earlier and tapped on her button nose, lowered his voice to a whisper that he knew you could hear.

“I agree.” His eye glinted playfully, matching his tone. “And so are you.” The bashful, high-pitched giggle she responded with sounded eerily similar to your inner monologue.

The two of you spent a little longer on the floor of the foyer making sure Byeol was okay, and then the girl upped and made a mad dash for the kitchen while yelling something about a horse, and if that didn’t confirm that she was completely fine (albeit incredibly strange) you didn’t know what would. You found her rolling around the carpet in the room adjacent to the kitchen and left her to her own devices while you and her babysitter fixed up a small fruit plate for her afternoon snack. No grapes, of course.

He told you he usually went by Felix, but that his Korean name was probably easier for Byeol to pronounce, with its easier consonants and whatnot. You asked which name he preferred, and he said either or. He was a recent college graduate, a year older than you, who was determined to spend at least the next two years doing nothing but working out his future. He accepted the part-time babysitting position to pick up some light cash in the process.

“And ‘cause I’m good with kids,” he added, splitting apart a tangerine. “So I’ve been told.”

“Oh, you definitely are,” you said, plating a couple blueberries. “You melted her earlier.”

“She melted me. She’s so cute. And you’re so cute with her—I didn’t realize I was robbing someone of their job.”

You turned your head to regard the tot and let out a helpless laugh. Byeol tired of being a human lint roller a few minutes ago and had since moved on to staring aimlessly out the window.

“She doesn’t take me seriously, and I can’t stay mad at her,” you mused. “I would be a nightmare as her babysitter, trust me. She’s all yours.”

Felix held out two overturned handfuls of tangerine slices, to which you quickly moved the platter across the counter. He didn’t respond to your comments as he placed them on the outermost edge so that they looked like rays of sun emanating from a multicolored core. Adorable.

“Will you be around much, then?”

You made eye contact with him across the counter. On his perfect face was a teasing smirk and a subtle blush. Ah, you’d been mistaken, writing off his silence as concentration—he’d been contemplating how to best flirt with you.

“Y’know. In case I need any help teaching her cuss words,” he appended.

It was then your turn to flush a couple shades darker. “Please don’t tell her mom.”

“I won’t, I won’t.” He walked around the perimeter of the counter until he was directly in front of you; the lavender and orange blossoms returned. “On one condition.”

Not even one hour on the job and he was already trying to blackmail you? You respected it. “Which is?”

As he shifted some of his weight onto the counter, something too shifted in his smile, giving it a quality that was every bit as hopeful as it was gentle.

It was then, while Lee Felix was looking at you like that, all dilated pupils and long lashes, when you predicted that he would one day break your heart. You predicted you’d let him.

“Be around,” he said simply.

It wasn’t a question or a demand. In hindsight, you think it was more akin to a birthday wish, ill-fated the moment it hit the air.

II. has changed

Felix pulled Byeol’s hood up and over her ears, and you realized he was right about the winter coat getting too small for her—she looked like a bowling pin. You muffled your snort into your scarf.

“And what was the last rule again?” He asked, his breath puffing into the frigid afternoon in tiny clouds. Byeol sighed like she knew anything of the world’s woes.

“No barking at other kids,” came the sad reply, but a toothy smile spread across her face anyways when Felix nudged the underside of her chin. She loved when he did that.

“That’s my girl,” he hummed. “I believe in you.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” you said, and the wounded look Felix shot you was like you’d just confessed to hating kittens. “Come on—she doesn’t have a good track record. I’m allowed to have my doubts.”

“I dunno what that means,” Byeol announced with admirable frankness, and then turned around and scurried down the porch stairs, scattering fun-sized footprints across the snowy streets.

As you braced yourself to follow her, Felix stopped you with a slip of his hand into the pocket of your puffer. His fingers first aligned with yours inside the insulated nylon, then chased the spaces in between. He leaned in close, placed a kiss on the apple of your cheek, another on the corner of your mouth. This brought a helpless smile to your face, too. He had a way of melting you and Byeol both.

“It’ll be fine,” he soothed. “A little barking never hurt anybody, baby.”

“Lix, last time somebody called animal control.”

“Ermm—a little barking never hurt most people.”

That winter, Byeol was four, and your relationship with Felix was about to turn two.

Funnily enough, you’d never figured out when your anniversary actually was. Felix wagered it was the day you met, as he knew he loved you the instant he saw you; you insisted it was months later, since it took both of you an entire winter break of open-ended flirting and informal dating to label yourselves for real. Imagine your horror when he showed up outside your college apartment on the last day of your fall semester, arms overflowing with flowers and gift bags brimming with your favorite things, the phrase “happy anniversary” on his lips three months before you perceived it to be. You’ve celebrated both days ever since.

You loved the ocean growing up. You didn’t get to visit it often, but when you did you would run up to the water’s very edge so that your toes dipped into the cold—and just stand there, observing, absorbing, until even the seam of your lips and the ends of your eyelashes were studded with crystals of seasalt. You found endless tranquility in its rhythmic whispers and unspeakable comfort in its oscillating waves, guaranteed to return after momentary departure.

Your fascination stemmed from the folktale your mother used to read to you before bed, about a sun goddess creating the earth. In the story, every component of nature was one of the sun’s beloved children. She allegedly loved them all, but you suspected the ocean was her favorite; it was obvious, the way she twinkled off its ebbing surface, the way every minuscule spot of light looked to you like a handprint of hers, left behind by eons of endless doting.

Felix reminded you of the ocean. Every day you grew more certain that you wanted to drown in him, to let his resonant voice and kind eyes sweep and keep you inside his depths. It was never salt that he pressed into your skin but warmth, stamped and sealed with caring hands and cautious lips. His deep whispers promised eternal love and temporary ecstasy and everything in between. You knew he would come back to you even if stranded in a different realm. And there was no questioning the goddess’ favoritism, either. The freckles on his face mirrored the sun’s very spots like an homage to his creator.

You didn’t love the ocean growing up, no. You had never loved before Felix.

The park was busy when the three of you arrived. Byeol and Felix recognized a few families as your aunt’s neighbors and hurried over to say hello. Your social butterflies. 

“I’ll be over there,” you called after them.

Felix stopped in his tracks, looked over his shoulder. It had started snowing lightly on your walk there, and snowflakes now sat atop his sable locks. He looked like a painting. “You okay?”

“Yes, yes.” You shooed them off. “Don’t worry about me. Go have fun.” 

With that, you withdrew to the sidelines, an unoccupied swingset adjacent to a baseball diamond covered in frost. 

Your baby cousin was brawny for her age, which you could’ve seen coming with how she was hauling at your hair two years ago, but even she couldn’t yet terrorize the playground without assistance. Who better to make her partner in crime than her favorite Bokkie? You couldn’t help but giggle as the two revolved around each other for the better part of an hour, Byeol’s smile colossal as she frolicked every which way, Felix’s smile worried but hopelessly endeared as he followed behind. He never let her leave his shadow. She never tried to.

It was there on those icy swings that you experienced a moment of strange clarity, like you’d broken the fourth wall of your own story. You could feel the winds of change blowing your hair across your shoulders. You were aware of time’s trickling from the gaps of your fingers like liquid mercury.

Your laughter dissipated to a bittersweet smile; your smile mellowed to dewy eyes. It seemed like just yesterday when Byeol was small enough to sit on your shoulders and Felix stepped into your kitchen for the first time. Now, she was scaling a rope ladder with the celerity of a crazed monkey while Felix hovered a wary hand by her waist. The muted sunlight caught on the silver rings he wore, particularly the thin, bright one on his middle finger. You had one just like it, adorning the same place. 

The last two years were the happiest of your life. Why couldn’t you remember where they went?

Lavender and orange blossoms announced your boyfriend’s arrival—that, and the sigh of fatigue that he expelled as he dropped into the swing next to you.

“I’m not cut out for this anymore.”

Byeol’s neighbor had temporarily relieved Felix of his post by taking her and his son to test out the seesaw, and you wouldn’t be surprised if the whole town could hear her enthusiastic shrieking.

“You know how people walk their dogs?” You mused. “Some dogs walk their people. She’s one of them.”

For a moment, he could only stare in disbelief at the grin creeping across your face; then, he groaned in a way that could only mean you were right on the money. You gave his thigh a sympathetic pat.

“You’re whipped, my love. It’s okay.”

“Maybe a little,” he admitted, suddenly perking up. “Hey, no barking though.”

“Are we considering that a win nowadays?”

“Do you see animal control anywhere?”

“Good point.”

Felix monitored your expression during the quiet interval that ensued—saw through the melancholy curve of your lips, the pensive slant of your gaze. There was a red tinge to the whites of your eyes that hadn’t been there before.

You saw him reach for you in your periphery. His fingers brushed a lock of hair behind the shell of your ear, remained there for three slow heartbeats, and then lifted away.

“Angel,” he murmured. “Talk to me.”

You shook your head. “It’s silly.”

“It’s not.” Not even ten seconds after the last time, he reached for you again, now to take your hand and bring it to his lap. “You know it’s not.”

“It’s just that—”

Felix thumbed over the ridges of your knuckles, his touch so gentle that it could’ve unraveled a chrysalis; it certainly unraveled you. You took a stabilizing breath.

“I wish could recognize my own happiness in the moment,” you sighed, “not just in retrospect. That way, even when it comes to an end, I’d still be able to look back and say with confidence that I was happy once. I’d like that, I think.”

His brows knit together as he processed your words, and, the next thing you knew, he left his swing trembling in his sudden absence and his trenchcoat became a black blur in the cold air.

Felix rested his elbows atop your knees as he knelt in front of you, cradled your face in his hands. He was achingly beautiful always, but you truly felt your breath swiped from your lungs at the new proximity of his ethereal features: petal-shaped eyes, wind-bitten cheeks, coral cupid’s bow. A painting.

“That’s easy enough,” Felix hummed. “How do you feel right now?”

You had zero agency in the smile this brought to your face. You wrapped your hands around his wrists, your answer quick, thoughtless. “Happy.”

He pressed his lips to the space between your eyes. “And now?”

“Happier.”

He pressed his lips to the curve of your jaw. “What about now?” 

“Even happier.”

His gaze flickered to his final destination, but you beat him to it, sealing your mouth against his with urgency. The kiss that followed was so intensely loving that your head went fuzzy. How was it that you felt his adoration for you even in his pliant lips, his velvet tongue? You ran your fingers through the part of his hair. You loved when you could feel the locks flutter back into place afterwards.

“GET A ROOM!”

You and Felix pulled away from one another, wearing matching expressions of bewilderment. Byeol was approximately five Newtons away from soaring off into the stratosphere, her legs jostling around as she clung to her seat for dear life. It seemed your neighbor had a very aggressive way of seesaw-maneuvering. It seemed your cousin had a very aggressive vocabulary.

“Where did she learn—?” The two of you began in unison, then shot your heads back towards each other.

“It had to be you.”

“Outrageous—you’re the Australian here!”

“You cuss like one too!”

“Because of you!”

“So we’re just lying now?”

“Well, yes.”

Felix cracked a smile—and then the two of you were dying of laughter, his right eye squinting closed and your forehead thudding onto his shoulder. You hardly managed to get out your next words. “We have to do something about her vernacular, don’t we?”

“Oh, badly,” he replied. “Badly.”

After you expended your giggles, you nuzzled into the crook of his neck, blissful, glowing. “Thank you, baby.”

“What for?”

“Being my happiness.”

He angled your face back to his and kissed you once more, whispering I love you like it wasn’t enough that it graced your ears; he needed it embossed upon your flesh in permanent ink.

Your intermingled breaths floated up into the air like flare signals over a capsizing boat. Here marks the time we were happiest.

III. (besides myself)

He’s blonde.

That’s the first thing you notice when you see your ex-boyfriend on your aunt’s porch: the slightly off-white color of his silky tresses, grown out longer than you’ve ever seen, pushed off his forehead and tucked behind his ears.

It’s not the only thing you notice, of course. His face has thinned ever so slightly, the shadows thrown over his features by the streetlights behind him particularly opaque. His outfit is glorious, expensive, with the black blazer and white dress shirt, the top two buttons undone, the pendant of a silver necklace resting between toned collarbones. His hands are almost overflowing with what must be gifts for your family. It’s impossible to discern all of them from this distance, but you know the bouquet of white poinsettias is for your mom, the batch of brownies doused in sprinkles and icing for Byeol.

But the hair is where your gaze returns, because tucked among the platinum strands are black roots: millimeters of the color you grew to adore, peeking out as if trying to catch a glimpse of you, too.

You’re so occupied with this game of “I spy” that you don’t notice the rampant footsteps coming up behind you. Your six-year-old cousin collides with the back of your leg head-on and nearly topples you like a bowling pin.

“Is it him?” She asks breathlessly.

You come this close to berating her as you steady yourself against the wall—what did I say about treating human beings like couch cushions? But you look down to see her chin resting on the side of your thigh, her eager eyes shining so brightly that she puts her own namesake to shame. Your scolding tirade dissolves on your tongue like popping candy.

You simply sigh instead. “Yes, but—”

“BOKKIE!” She shrieks, and Felix’s head snap upwards at the sound of her voice. His tender smile melts some of the frost laminating your heart.

You crack open the door, making eye contact with Felix for the first time in six months.

“Put everything down. Quickly,” you whisper, and he obeys right away, alarmed by the urgency in your voice. A wise choice.

The last present has hardly touched down upon the wooden planks when Byeol wriggles through the doorway and charges towards Felix like an angered toro. He swivels at her bright holler of his name, lowers himself to a squat just barely in time to catch her in his embrace. The delighted laugh that leaves his mouth as he staggers backwards sounds like the sun itself; you feel lost in orbit hearing it again.

“Bokkie,” Byeol murmurs, her voice muffled in the dip of his shoulder, by the tightening of her arms around his neck.

“Hi, princess.” He kisses her temple, presses his nose against her hair. “Whoa, you’ve grown strong, haven’t you?”

“She takes taekwondo classes now,” you hum from above, and the shock in his face asks the very question that your poignant smile confirms. Yes, because of you.

Felix pulls away, cocoons her cheeks with cherishing hands. “Is that true?”

She bobs her head. “I want to be like Bokkie.”

And his eyes go impossibly, terribly soft, like he’s gazing at the horizon itself. The sight twists the knife in your gut and yanks on your tangled heartstrings. It’s all because of you.

“And kick some ass!” Byeol adds, knocking you out of your sentimental spiral. You clap a defeated hand to your forehead. Felix falls over himself. So much for fixing her vernacular.

A few minutes later, Byeol is pirouetting towards the kitchen with a couple of Felix’s smaller presents in her arms, all too happy to be of help. You linger behind as Felix takes off his shoes, your cousin’s departure leaving the two of you alone in the dim foyer.

Felix straightens. The two of you come face to face. The air hangs so heavily with unspoken words that you half expect it to start dripping.

“Hi,” he says.

You nearly laugh at the cruelty of it. The man you were certain you’d grow old with greeting you like you’ve been forced to sit next to each other on the first day of school.

“Hi,” you answer. “You look—”

The two of you say this last part in unison; old habits die hard.

“—nice,” you finish.

“—beautiful,” Felix breathes, his eyes flicking off to the side abashedly.

Your throat constricts, pulse quickens. Says you. If he was a painting before, you think he’s a sculpture now, his perfection as tangible as if hand-chiseled by the greatest artists of old. As clear as the sun’s beloved sea. You can’t tell if it’s his stylist’s doing or simply a product of him growing into himself.

“Thank you,” you reply quietly. “And thank you for coming.”

“Thank you for inviting me. I didn’t think you would.”

“I didn’t do it for me.”

No part of you wants to see the subtle wince that crosses his face at your statement, so you turn your gaze to his jewelry-laden hands instead. 

For a split second, you swear you see the same promise ring settled in the same place on his middle finger. You realize what you’re really looking at only after blinking the phosphenes from your eyes: the thin tanline that it left behind. The realization fixes and destroys you all at once.

Then, Byeol starts wailing about Felix’s whereabouts like an actress hired to spare you from this very interaction.

“Her Highness beckons.” The smile you manage feels like drying cement. “Shall we?”

On your way to the kitchen, you notice the cologne emanating from his person smells only of citrus—no lavender. Its absence steadies you, deludes you into believing that it’s a stranger you’ve just let inside.

That illusion lasts for exactly three hours and forty-eight minutes.

It’s clear that the breakup has your family walking on eggshells, but it’s even clearer that their adoration for Felix has never wavered. You’ve never resigned yourself to the restroom so many times in one night, only to stand with your back against the door, unmoving, unfeeling, listening to the low thrum of his voice through the mahogany. Chatting comfortably with your aunt, bursting into laughter with Byeol, reminding you of the time you considered him family too. 

With every glance you toss your reflection, you discover new cracks in your composure. Has he noticed them yet?

After you come out of the restroom for the sixth time, you notice a light spilling from Byeol’s bedroom into the hallway. A low Australian accent graces your ears, followed closely by a tinkling giggle, and your body nudges you towards the sounds before your head can intervene.

You give your cousin’s door a feather-light nudge. It opens a few centimeters more and grants you vision of Byeol tucked into bed, Felix knelt at her side. Both of their faces are illuminated by the flaxen light of the nearby lamp.

Felix brushes her choppy bangs out of her eyes, a teasing smile on his lips. “Can I tell you a secret, princess?”

This wrests from her another fluttering laugh; you swear he’s the only person in the whole world who makes her shy. “Sure!”

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?”

“Promise.”

“Not even Snernard.”

“M’kay.”

“Or Bong.”

“M’kay.”

“Especially not Trash the chicken. I don’t trust him.”

“I know, I know, I won’t!” Byeol huffs, and Felix laughs at her outburst. You also snort into your sleeve, amused (and deeply perplexed) by your cousin’s plushie-naming conventions.

“Thank you,” he hums, and he lowers his voice enough that you don’t catch the next thing he says.

All you perceive is the way that Byeol reacts. She sits up straight in bed, resting her back against her pillow. Her features rearrange themselves slowly, awfully, like the spread of cherry-flavored cough syrup over one’s sore throat, into the furthest thing from her trademark too-big-for-her-face smile.

Your stomach plummets to your fucking ankle.

“Why?” Her voice sounds microscopic.

“Well, do you remember what Bokkie’s dream job is?”

Byeol considers for a moment. “Being a singer?”

“That’s right.” He runs a knuckle over the hill of her cheek, the action achingly familiar, immensely fond. “And I found a place where I can do that, but it’s very, very far away. I won’t be able to come home very often.”

The telltale signs appear as he speaks; the final word sets them into motion. A tear streaks down the side of Byeol’s face. It hardly leaves the corner of her eye before it’s being intercepted by a doting swipe of his thumb.

“No,” she replies.

“You've grown so much.” Another tear falls. He wipes away that one, too. “You’re growing so well.”

“No,” she repeats.

“You’ve stolen the light of every star in the sky already. The whole galaxy will be yours someday, sweetheart. I know it.”

“I don’t want it,” she whispers. “I want my Bokkie.”

His vision starts to blur also. “But you don’t need me anymore.”

“We do.”

You know the precise moment Felix’s heart pauses in his chest because it is when yours does too.

“We?” He repeats, and she nods.

“Your dream job is being a singer.” Now Byeol is the one to reach for Felix, her delicate hand cupping the curve of his cheek. Her fingers are too small to catch his tears, she tries anyways—

“But what is your dream?”

It becomes too much for you.

You turn around. A choked sob escapes from behind the hand you have sealed to your mouth, causing both heads inside Byeol’s room to whirl in your direction. You don’t care that you nearly break both of your ankles beelining up the stairs; you only care to get the fuck out of that hallway.

You topple into your room, close the door behind you, and crumble.

Your quivering hands find purchase around your folded legs; your eyes squeeze shut against your knees. Rivulets of tears cascade over your shuddering lips like ruptured barrels of wine, left in the cellars of your soul to age, to spoil.

You never wanted your grief to see the light of day. Pouring your regret over every sidewalk wouldn’t change the past. Splashing your heartache across every wall like the world’s most fucked-up mural wouldn’t alleviate the pain of losing him. He was the one who left, but you were the one who’d asked him to. Feeling, yearning, mourning. Those always seemed so futile.

But you’re not just crying in this moment, rocking back and forth on your bedroom floor; you’re bleeding, the wounds you never treated igniting all at once as if exposed to vinegar, leaving you writhing and gasping in their wake. How you wish they’d been able to heal sooner. Maybe then seeing Felix tonight wouldn’t have splintered your soul like dropped porcelain.

Your door clicks open. Your breath hitches in your throat with a quiet scratch. The gulp of oxygen you intake tastes of oranges.

Every night before you fall asleep, you still think of the last time you visited the sea. The cool sand chafing against your toes, the coarse winds slapping your hair against your face hard enough to sting. The weather was terrible (you neglected to check the forecast before making the drive), but when you stepped onto the embittered coastline, you took what felt like the first real breath of your young adulthood. The fog melded to your skin as if melting a blindfold away, showing you the world in its entirety.

You return to that beach when Felix pulls you into his chest, and there’s no fog this time. Just the faint smell of lavender and your ocean, guaranteed to return after momentary departure.

Feverishly, Felix presses his lips to your temple, the apple of your cheek, rests his forehead against yours. Brokenly, he utters, “it’s you.”

You can feel his shaking in every part of him: the tickling breath, the fluttering eyelashes, the unsteady hand that reaches into the pocket of his blazer. You graze your fingers over his jaw, an attempt to steady his careening heart, only to lose yours in the fray also when he produces a small red box of unmistakable dimensions.

“God, it’s you. It always has been, always will be. Anything can change except for this.” His voice disintegrates as he speaks. You disintegrate as you listen. “Everything has changed besides myself.”

Felix leans back in to pepper kisses across the expanse of your wet features, then brings himself to one fated knee. He flicks open the lid. You don’t even spare the ring a glance; you don’t doubt its perfection. All you care to look at is the love of your life, deliquesced to adoration and tearwater.

“Thank you for being around, my dream.” His soft smile tends to your scars like ambrosia. “Will you let me do the same?”

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