#this drama makes me want to learn sign language

[wibbly-wobbly-kylie-wylie-blog]

lee chan falling for cheong ah >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

#twinkling watermelon #kdrama #반짝이는 워터멜론 #lee chan #cheong ah #lee chan x cheong ah #they are so cute #fall in love faster #this drama makes me want to learn sign language #I already wanted to learn sign language #but I want to even more now #asl #asl would be more useful to me #but ksl is super cool too #the problem with being a linguist #is that I am obsessed with all languages #and I have too many languages on my plate #I cannot learn them all #but god so help me I will try

[ahundredtimesover]

I Want You to Stay (05) | JJK

Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, prior incidence of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts and business/property devt talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; eventual explicit sexual content (specific warnings stated per chapter) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 14.8k

Series Masterlist

Status: Ongoing

Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.

Playlist 🎶: on the way home

A/N: I deeply appreciate all the love and messages (and anticipation for uh, stuff) but again, it's a slow burn! Thank you so much! 🥰

And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight  🥰

PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!

Jungkook sits cross-legged on the couch in his office, his iPad in hand as he goes through the Board report for the nth time these past five days. 

Manager Lee and Chin-sun have put together the logistics, construction, and design departments’ reports with the VP’s and Jungkook is supposed to sign these off for submission to the CEO today, who then approves it for submission to the Board members. They have until Friday to review it in time for the meeting happening that same day. 

This consolidated report was finalized last Wednesday and Jungkook has been reviewing it everyday since then, including his presentation, making minimal comments and then taking notes on things he’s unfamiliar with. Granted, he’s reporting about the quarter when he’s only been Vice President for a month, which makes you incredibly instrumental in his preparations. As the executive assistant, you have the information that Jungkook needs from Hoseok’s time, and so you’ve also been spending everyday since Wednesday answering all of Jungkook’s questions. 

You don’t mind, really, as they’re details you know by heart. It also allows you to show him how involved and meticulous you were under Hoseok’s leadership, and Jungkook’s hums and mumbles of appreciation have helped you gain back the confidence that you lost. 

Even if your self-esteem decreased this past month because of the very person sitting in front of you, the fact that Jungkook’s been showing - in his own ways - his trust in you is enough to lift your spirits. He did admit last week that he needs you - something you hadn’t expected him to say - and you could tell it took so much from him to be able to verbalize it. But you suppose you needed that honesty, too; you needed to know that after all that frustration and anger during the first few weeks, there was that realization on his end that you have his back, and you’re just as capable as what everyone has been saying you are. 

“What information do you need from me, Mr. Jeon?” You finally ask. 

It’s been a good five minutes since Jungkook had asked for you and you’ve just been standing in front of him while he scrolls through the screen, perhaps giving another final look before he finally sends the document to his father.

“Nothing,” he sighs, rolling his head back and closing his eyes. “I just… I just need someone to tell me to stop reviewing this report. I need this out of my sight but I can’t stop checking to make sure everything is okay.”

You look at him intently while he speaks. The tension in his entire face and body is visible, you can even feel it in the room. You feel for him, as he tries to hide the anxiety and desperation. You can tell that he just wants to do well so badly. With the amount of time he’s been spending just going through this, his perfectionist tendency surfaces, and you’re at least thankful that it hasn’t turned him back into an asshole. At least not yet. 

“You need to stop reviewing the report, Mr. Jeon, and let it go,” you say as instructed but with sincerity in your words. “You’ve been on this for days. Manager Lee and Chin-sun have reviewed it, and so have I. CEO Jeon could still suggest changes and we won’t know them until he’s reviewed it, but we at least have the details ironed out. If I may suggest, you can send the file to him in the next hour so you can now focus on practicing for your presentation. That may be a better use of your time.”

Jungkook opens his eyes and turns to you. There’s assurance in your words and your voice and like what he told himself he’d do, he’ll trust you and the team. He’s seen how hard everyone has been working for this - Manager Lee and Chin-sun have done so well in consolidating and cross-checking everything; Do-hyun’s presentation is simple yet effective, and Yohan, who’s back from the hospital, has been adding in all the needed details. And there’s you, making sure that everything and everyone is on track, even as you prepare for Jungkook’s upcoming events. 

“Okay, then,” he exhales deeply. “I’ll send it in the next half hour.”

Knowing he has a meeting set at 2PM, you ask him if you should order him lunch.

“Yes please,” he answers, saying he wants some braised beef from the restaurant on the next block. “Order for yourself as well, and the rest of the team. You can all get anything you want.”

The silence prompts Jungkook to look at you, and he’s met with a questioning gaze.

“Is there a problem?” He asks.

“N—no,” you answer. “I’d like to confirm again that I’ll be ordering lunch for you and all five of us.”

“Yes, Ms. Cho. That’s what I said.”

You remain unmoving as you wait for him to correct himself. This is the first time that Jungkook has offered to treat the team to a meal. Not that you’ve been waiting for it, but Hoseok took you all out to dinner on his first day as a welcome and a thanks in advance, and once you picked up that Jungkook wasn’t the type to engage with his staff much, you just didn’t expect anything. So takeaway lunch from a nice restaurant is definitely surprising. 

“Okay, sir,” you say. “I will do that. I’m sure the team will appreciate it.”

Jungkook merely hums, his eyes focused on the screen now as you bow and head out. 

You go meet the team and as you expected, everyone looks at you in shock. 

“Did the real Mr. Jeon get abducted?” Do-hyun asks. “Because treating us is something he wouldn’t do.”

“Yah! It may be a month late but let’s just be thankful, okay?” You frown at her. “He can see that everyone’s been working hard and I’m sure he appreciates that, and he may not be able to say it but he can at least show us.”

“While he’s at it, he can maybe at least say thank you or you know, smile every once in a while,” Chin-sun sighs. 

“We’ll get there. He knows he needs to do better and he will, I’ll make sure of that,” you assure them, thinking about the conversation from last week. 

Jungkook wants you to help him and for his sake and everyone else’s, you’ll make sure that you do. 

“Well, is he better to you?” Do-hyun asks, her face in a pout because she’s seen you skip meals several times and even cry, and she’d wanted so many times to just hug you, but she knows it’s not something you openly receive. 

“Yes,” you say, knowing it will drive your point. “I’d like to think that the worst is over and I can just focus on doing better and helping him. It would be great if the rest of us could do the same.”

“She’s right,” Manager Lee chimes in. “We grow when we adapt, and much more when we’re able to move on and learn from our experiences. It hasn’t been the best month but it’s also just been a month. So let’s be grateful for the meal and just continue with the good work we’ve been doing, okay?”

You give them the warmest smile you can muster, hoping this would be enough. 

It seems to be, as they all excitedly give their orders, which you and Yohan pick up from the restaurant. You return and after giving Jungkook his food, you head to the other room to eat as well.

The team enjoys the meal, with Do-hyun dramatically stating that it’s the best beef brisket she’s ever had. And you agree; there’s a reason why Jungkook gets this every week. 

Jungkook can hear laughter and satisfied hums from the support team office, with Do-hyun, he supposes, claiming that it feels like Christmas. Yohan says it’s a much-needed post-recovery treat, and even Manager Lee - who’s often serious - cracks a few jokes. Jungkook can pick out your sound, too, noting the joy that emanates from it. He allows himself a small smile, knowing that given how he’s been to everyone this past month, he at least could give his team this highlight of their day. 

He stands by the door, initially going unnoticed, until Chin-sun catches sight of him and alerts everyone that he’s there. The room goes silent, and Jungkook looks on as his staff quietly munch their food and bow to him in greeting. The teasing and laughter have gone; worried eyes are what he sees instead. 

Your initial surprise at seeing him melts away. He rarely drops by for anything, even for a greeting or to just check up on the team, unlike Hoseok who liked to come here often to de-stress after long meetings. But you sense Jungkook’s awkwardness at the silence, with his hands in his pockets and his blank gaze, so you smile at him and hope that eases the tension a bit.

“Lunch was great, Mr. Jeon,” you say. “Thank you.”

“It was,” Manager Lee pipes in. “The roast pork was so delicious. The potato salad was very good, too.”

You look at the others and encourage them to say something as well, and they hum in agreement and say their thanks.

“The beef brisket was heavenly,” Do-hyun raves. “Thank you! I hope it’s not the last time.”

She awkwardly chuckles, realizing that her boss isn’t one she should be joking with, but Jungkook doesn’t seem to take offense, as he purses his lips - perhaps to hide a smile, revealing a tiny dimple that catches you off guard. 

“It won’t be. And uh, it was a month late, so I’m glad you all enjoyed it,” he replies, a tinge of disappointment now painting his face.

There’s another moment of silence and you observe him, hands still in his pockets, looking around awkwardly, unable to meet anyone’s eyes. 

“It’s greatly appreciated, sir,” you assure him once more. “We hope you had a good lunch as well.”

“I’m just about to have it, actually,” he says. “I sent the report to the CEO and he must’ve been waiting for it because he read it right away and called to give feedback.”

“Oh? How did CEO Jeon find it?” Manager Lee asks.

“He said it was good. There are just minor things he asked me to change but I can do them on my own,” Jungkook answers. “I appreciate everyone’s hard work. Now, we can focus on our upcoming events and the Arts Center.”

The team immediately starts packing and swallowing their food, and Jungkook has to stop them. 

“Not right now,” he clarifies. “Continue with your meal. And don’t stay too late. We’ve got another busy week ahead.”

“Yes, Mr. Jeon,” everyone says in unison.

Jungkook nods and starts walking away, leaving all five of you with confused looks, as Jungkook has never spoken to the team in such a calm and friendly manner. It was always firm and professional, low and stoic. 

You scurry out the room and follow him. Jungkook gives you a questioning look when you enter his office shortly after he does, and you pick up his untouched lunch from the table and inform him that you’ll heat it up, knowing he doesn’t like to eat his food cold. 

You go back to the pantry then return to Jungkook’s room, his beef brisket dish now properly placed in a bowl. He gives you a nod, his form of acknowledgment and thanks, you suppose, and you ask the question you’ve had since his earlier stop at the team’s office.

“Are the edits really just minor?” You wonder, knowing that CEO Jeon is meticulous and quite particular with these board reports. 

Jungkook takes a moment to respond. He should know that you’ve done this a few times and are probably used to how his father is already, which means you’d see right through him as well. 

“Well, they’re not major,” Jungkook says. “I mean, they’re not trivial corrections. The details are all good but I need to change some terminologies and framing and some construction of the sections based on the Board’s current concerns, especially about the Arts Center. They’re not that substantial but it’ll still take me an hour or so.”

“Why did you tell the team that they were minor, then?”

“So they won’t offer to help.”

“But they would. I would,” you tell him. “It’s our job.”

“I was going to ask, but it’s your break time. Everyone was enjoying their meals and each other. First time I’ve seen that, actually. I know it doesn’t happen when I’m around.”

“It’s just that you’re not—”

“Hoseok,” he finishes for you.

“Not someone they’re comfortable being themselves around,” you correct him.

“Yes, not like Hoseok,” he pushes.

“You said it the first day, Mr. Jeon. You do things very differently from your cousin. Your personalities are very different, too. We had him for three years and for Yohan and Do-hyun, he was their first boss,” you explain. “They’re just not used to you yet.”

“What about you? Are you used to me by now?”

There’s sudden tension in the room as he looks at you with the desire for honesty, and it’s what you give.

“I’m not quite sure.”

Jungkook doesn’t really know what he expected, as the question just slipped past his mouth before he could pull it back, so he just nods and proceeds to take his late lunch, wanting to forget that he’d asked at all.

You take this as a signal to head out, which you do, before reminding him that he can ask you for help if he needs another pair of eyes before he submits his part again. Jungkook just nods once more, and it’s later in the day, after the third cup of coffee that you take to his room, that he says his father’s already approved the version he sent after you went through it upon his request. You know that’s just half of what he needs to do though, as he’ll still need to present it to the Board this coming Friday. 

“You may go home, Ms. Cho,” he says after he signs some documents for you. 

“How about you, Mr. Jeon?” You ask. 

It’s been a long day, an extension of an even longer weekend because he’d been at a work event and then reviewed the report as well. 

“I’ll probably stay back and go over the presentation. Maybe practice a little.”

You purse your lips, holding something back.

“Should I not?” He wonders.

“Just thinking that it might be better for you to take a proper rest tonight,” you advise. 

“I’ll think about it. It’s gonna be a tough one on Friday and I want to be prepared.”

“I understand,” you smile. “I’ll go ahead, Mr. Jeon.”

Jungkook holds your gaze for a while before he nods and returns to his screen, going through the presentation slides and the notes he scribbled on his iPad. But try as he might, the graphs and the words just go over his head. 

He does need to rest, he thinks. He hasn’t really taken a break all weekend. His hookup from last night was the only relief he got, but that was to expend all the negative energy from the anxiety and stress, and he realizes that he probably doesn’t know what proper rest is, like what you suggested he have. He wonders if you’ve ever had one, or if it’s something you stopped having ever since you started working for him.

Taking your advice, he heads out. It’s only been 30 minutes and he assumes you’re already on the bus and on the way home. He sits in the passenger seat, letting Mr. Ri’s choice of music fill the car as Jungkook’s mind wanders to you - how you laughed at the team’s antics, how you got them to assure him, how you read him well, how you were patient and helpful, and how you seemed concerned about how tired he’s been. 

He’ll chalk it up to you doing your job and helping him as he asked you to do; he always will. He can’t ever think that any of your actions mean more even if deep down, he wishes they do, only so he knows that you don’t hate him, that you’ve forgiven him for things he never apologized for, that you’ll stay for as long as possible. There’s something about your honesty and calm presence that stabilizes him, that makes him take a pause. 

Jungkook’s worked hard on his career for the past decade and it’s all he focuses on; it’s all he thinks about. But when you’re there, he’s forced to stop and think about you. He’s noticed that just this past week - when you’re around, he listens; when you’re close to him, he breathes. Ironic, really, considering that every time you close the distance - when you fix his tie or look at his screen over his shoulder or help him retrieve portfolios - he remains still, his heart stopping and his throat drying up, afraid to take in your scent or to know just how fast his pulse would race or what words he’d say that he won’t be able to contain. 

He’s afraid to know you, only because what he’ll learn might make him want you. And Jungkook knows that he can’t let himself feel that about you in any way.

He sighs as he looks out the window - cars in line to cross the intersection, people walking to their destination. He thinks he’s hallucinating as he sees your smile, but a bus blocks his view and Mr. Ri steps on the gas. 

Outside, you smile to yourself as you wait in line. You were held up at the lobby because Bitna caught you in the elevator and didn’t want to let you go just yet, so you left the office just minutes ago and were waiting at the bus stop when a familiar car showed up and you saw Jungkook looking out the window. He opted to leave early, too; you can only hope he’ll take your advice and rest tonight. 

But the thought that what you said prompted him to take a pause from work stirs something within. Maybe it’s because he’s finally listening to you, or that it seems like he trusts you now. Whatever it is, for as long as it makes your job bearable, you’re all for it. 

It doesn’t take away from the moments you’ve shared where it seems like the world stops for a bit as you hold each other’s gazes for the shortest of seconds. There’s tension where there shouldn’t be, and there’s something different in his eyes when there used to be disdain, one which you can’t read nor identify. It leaves you still for the briefest of moments, unguarded and a little bare, as he seems to tell you something with just a look and you just don’t know what it is. 

As you find a rare seat in the bus, you let the musings go. Jungkook is a man who holds in him a million thoughts a day and those moments with you seem to be his only reprieve; perhaps they’re also just instances of temporary lags or the rare silence and stoppage of everything. In some odd way, it allows you to see him as the human that he is - exhausted, unsure at times, but seemingly yearning for something. 

There’s always an emotion or a thought or a word that he holds in, and you can only wish - as your relationship with him improves - that whatever it is he’s holding back, he’ll find a way to express it. 

“Do you have any advice for the Board meeting?”

Jungkook slides the question in before Hoseok heads to the elevator and off to an event. They’ve just finished having a check-in with CEO Jeon, who wanted to make sure that the two of them are well-prepared for this Friday, given that presenting during these meetings and contributing to policy and strategy are crucial in their roles as President and Vice President. Jungkook won’t admit that it caused him a bit of anxiety, but he’ll surely take the chance to ask his cousin for tips on how to make sure that he doesn’t screw up.

“I do,” Hoseok answers as he holds off on pressing the button. “Ask your assistant. And then listen to what she says.”

Jungkook visibly sighs. “Hoseok, I mean it.”

“I mean it, too,” the older man replies. “If it’s anything about our strategic plan or policies, just take my lead. And it’s your very first so you’re expected to still be adjusting. If it’s about the presentation, let ___ brief you about it. She’s been with me every single time I had to present. When I was focused on what I had to say, she was focused on how the Board was reacting and how those translated to the questions they eventually asked. She’d know what you’ll need to emphasize on or who you need to be wary of.”

There’s an unsure look in Jungkook’s eyes, and Hoseok knows it isn’t about trusting you. It’s about him.

“You’re scared, aren’t you?” Hoseok asks. “What are you afraid of, Kook?”

“You know what they think of me,” Jungkook sighs. “I don’t want to screw up and give them more reasons to doubt me because they already do. And they’re definitely gonna ask about the Arts Center. What if they bring up my disappointing social skills? I don’t wanna end up feeling inadequate and embarrassing father.”

“Keep thinking that way and you will,” Hoseok huffs. “Look. Our family owns the company. You and I were trained to run it after my sister and your brother decided they didn’t want to. The Board knows this. They’ll either stay in our good graces or plot against us. Your father knows that, too, and that’s why he’s being hard on both of us because he knows what we’ll have to face. That also just means he’ll always be on your side. He’ll always be on ours. The Board could be intimidating but we still hold the power. They’ll impose or question or cast doubt because they want to feel that sense of control. It’ll only affect you if you let them.”

“Okay” is all that Jungkook manages to say, a tinge of resignation on his face as he takes in his cousin’s words.

“You’ve managed worse people than them,” Hoseok assured him. “Just focus, stand by your project, and engage them. Simple as that.”

“Yes, it’s very simple,” Jungkook chuckles with a shake of his head.

“Like I said, your assistant’s there for a reason, Kook. This is when I get to tell you that it’s her job. We would prepare together and debrief right after, and it always helped because she fills in gaps and informs me of things I missed. Trust me. Trust her.”

The thing is, Jungkook does; he doesn’t need to be reminded that he should trust you because he’s learned to do that, despite it seemingly impossible given that you both started off on the wrong foot. It’s the thought of spending more time with you, during a time when he’s still trying to get used to you and how you affect him, that makes him worried about this. But it’s not something he can talk about with Hoseok. It’s not something he can talk about with anyone. 

“Fine,” Jungkook finally says. “I’ll talk to her.”

“Good. I’ll go now. Have dinner at home tomorrow, okay? And I’ll see you when I get back.”

Jungkook waves the older man goodbye and then returns to his office, where he finds you dropping some files off for signing. 

“Payment requests for the event,” you explain, earning you a nod from him as he walks to his seat. “How did the meeting with your father go, Mr. Jeon?”

“As I expected,” he huffs. “A bit of encouragement, more of the pressure. He’d slide in reminders of what the Board thinks of me and how I should present myself.”

“Is the pressure helping?” You ask.

“A little,” he sighs, sinking into his chair and exhaling deeply. He rolls his head back and closes his eyes, allowing himself a few seconds of peace. “But I still need help. Hoseok said I can get it from you.”

“You know, he oversells me sometimes,” you manage to laugh, prompting Jungkook to look at you now. “I know I’m competent. But I don’t know about being your source of help for a Board meeting any more than providing you with data.” Jungkook likes to do things on his own after all, you think to yourself.

“But you’ve been to as many Board meetings as he has.”

“Yes, but only for his presentation.”

“And that’s what I need help with,” he says. “I just need direction, I guess. Or affirmation that how I’m doing it is the right way. Or tips on who to woo or who to not take seriously.”

Jungkook has been to a few Board meetings but he’s never had to present anything. He’s also never had to engage with the members so he didn’t pay much attention to them because he didn’t feel the need to. These appointments were all a few years too early, and while he’d had a critical position in the Southeast Asian headquarters, everything had gone through his uncle who headed the office then. 

This is the first time that Jungkook feels the magnitude of all his decisions, and that every move he makes is being assessed. And even with his father and Hoseok giving him guidance, they have their own teams to manage and an entire company to run, just like him. Somehow, with all the people around him, Jungkook still feels alone. 

You, with your perpetual presence and surprising warmth, are the only one who makes him feel otherwise. And it terrifies him more than anything.

“Well, I’ve picked up a few things along the way,” you hum. “I can maybe go through my notes and share them with you.”

“Good. I’d like to do that over lunch, since I’ll have you and Manager Lee watch me practice the presentation around 2.”

Jungkook picks up the slight fall of your face. “Is that a problem?” He asks. “Did you have lunch plans?”

“Nothing more important than assisting you, Mr. Jeon,” you say, a change of expression indicating that you indeed had prior commitments that you’re putting off because of him. “I’ll inform Manager Lee about meeting with him after.”

You head out and return to your desk to work on your remaining tasks for the morning until lunch time rolls by and you accompany Jungkook to a nearby restaurant as he’d asked. You try not to get too excited about the meal in front of you and then control yourself from letting out orgasmic sounds from the succulent piece of salmon that’s melting in your mouth. This check-in seems too important for Jungkook and you want to support him in any way you can.

“How was Hoseok during his first Board meeting?” Jungkook starts. 

“Nervous, a little rattled. His sister left him behind with a lot of work and she was abroad for most of the time so they weren’t able to meet up,” you share. “But he got up there and presented all the office’s gains for the past months and then explained his plans moving forward. He had all these good ideas on policy and strategy and he articulated them well. He had to take over multiple small projects and he showed how he planned to manage all of them. His charms sort of hid away the anxiety he was feeling and I guess that eventually helped him get rid of it.”

“Well, that’s one thing I can’t claim that I have,” Jungkook sighs. 

He looks at you to see your reaction, and the awkwardness on your face makes him internally laugh.

“I can lie to you if you want me to,” you say, and he chuckles, surprising you both, though he acts like he doesn’t mind.

“I’d actually want you to be as honest with me as possible, Ms. Cho. I don’t want you, of all people, to suck up to me to get on my good graces.”

“Great, since I wasn’t on it in the first place,” you trail, earning you another laugh, and you wish this could at least lessen the pressure he’s putting himself under. 

“That’s true,” he says, holding your gaze. He turns to his food before he gets sucked in your gorgeous eyes even more. “But I mean it. I don’t exactly know how to charm people, much less the Board. I don’t want to add to the narrative they already have of me having terrible social skills. But I also don’t want them to think I’m being fake or pretentious.”

“If I may, you’ll botch that aspect if you keep thinking about it,” you advise. “Perhaps you can just focus on what you’re good at. Delivering a presentation, regardless of what it’s about, is a skill. You have all the information and I can add some more if you’re not confident with them. You also tweaked some existing processes and you can build on it. But also, the Arts Center will definitely be their focus, so talk about it the way you would with your father and the team… and me. You let us envision it with your words and your visuals and those are all you need.”

“Okay then. I’ll just imagine they’re all vegetables or something so I can focus.”

“Mrs. Doi likes making eye contact because she wants to feel like you’re conversing with her,” you say. “Mrs. Seo asks a lot of irrelevant questions but you have to answer as if they’re important. Mr. Ong likes being acknowledged every time he says something or even nods. So I don’t recommend acting as if they’re inanimate. Maybe just with Mr. Wang because he falls asleep in everything, but don’t take it personally. I think it’s a medical condition.”

Jungkook’s amused look encourages you to continue.

“Mr. Mun doesn’t really get design and building terms so you’d have to explain them at least twice. Mr. Bong tends to act all mighty but he doesn’t really know much. Same with Mr. Im and Ms. Hwa. The rest are fine,” you say. “Mr. Saito is very thoughtful. He’s a designer so his insights would be good. Ms. Cheng is unproblematic and overall just supportive. Mr. Yeon is just… there. They’re quite intense when it comes to profits and the company’s image but if you stand by what you know, they won’t really say much.”

“Wow, that’s… that’s a lot to take in. And also very informative,” Jungkook states. “I never noticed any of those.”

“Well, you had your reasons to be in those meetings and maybe you didn’t have a reason to pay attention to them,” you shrug. “I do. I thought it was an added way that I could help Mr. Jung. Assistants are asked to sit on the side of the room so we can be easily signaled for anything and I thought I could use that position to observe the Board members and see how they respond to the presentation. It helped for the succeeding ones and it took the pressure off him in terms of needing to appease them.”

“Makes sense,” Jungkook hums. “Worrying about how they’ll react or what they’ll say is half of the pressure.”

“It is. I couldn’t help Mr. Jung for his first time because it was mine, too, but he picked things up quite easily. He knew who to pay attention to.”

“Well, considering that I don’t seem to be ideal for this relationship-heavy position, I’ll have to pay attention and appease all of them, it seems.”

“If I may, Mr. Jeon, you can take it as a challenge,” you advise, feeling more comfortable in being honest now. “I may be just a humble assistant but I’ve seen things. With all the praises for Mr. Jung - which are deserved, of course - I’ve witnessed his moments of distress, which is perfectly normal for anyone. A-yeong had to remind him of how good he was everyday because he needed that push and it helped him. It also helped that he was trying to prove something and that he was always told that he had all the qualities to do that.”

“Not everyone has a supportive wife like him though. Or like my father,” Jungkook laughs dryly.

“They had supportive assistants,” you offer, trying to be optimistic. “I had to fill-in as Mr. Jung’s sounding board and I was always in awe at his approach to things.”

“Which is very different from mine, I know,” Jungkook says unintentionally, the sigh making you feel like he’s tired of the comparison, and you feel a bit bad at having to seemingly remind him of that.

“And which isn’t bad at all,” you try to assure him. “Just because it’s different, doesn’t mean it’s not right.”

Well, it wasn’t right to treat you the way I did, he wants to say, but the words stay in his head and at the tip of his tongue. 

“That’s… comforting,” he says instead.

“I was trying to be assuring but comforting is fine, too,” you chuckle. “But I mean it, sir. I know there are all these expectations and I won’t be able to truly understand what the pressure is like but if you allow it to challenge you, you might even surprise yourself. And then you’ll end up surprising them, too. But do it for you. At the end of the day, they’re just the Board but you’re the Vice President. And you’re you. You’re all you can control.”

There’s a beat of silence as Jungkook takes in everything you’d said. You have this persistence about you that’s reflected in the way you carry yourself and in the way you relate with others, especially towards him despite how he’d treated you not long ago. Regardless of what you said, he thinks you know exactly what he feels when it comes to dealing with pressure. He supposes that working for his family can do that to someone, especially when it’s him. 

“Such moving words, Ms. Cho,” he finally says.  

“I didn’t mean to give unwanted advice,” you shake your head in disappointment. 

“I needed it though,” he surprises you. “Other than Hoseok or even Yoongi, who are both busy themselves, I only have you as a sounding board. And as support. So, uh, thanks.”

He says his gratitude with a soft tone, almost embarrassingly. You can tell it’s something he doesn’t say that often, but you take it, as you think it’s another step towards him trusting you even more. And you need that trust for now; it’s this peaceful and honest dynamic with him that’s making your job bearable.

Lunch continues with Jungkook asking more questions about some of the Board members and you dishing some dirt on some of them as what you’ve heard in the office washrooms, perhaps the only gossip you don’t take with a grain of salt. He’s amused, and you think this is the most expressive you’ve seen him. 

You proceed to meet with Manager Lee in the conference room where Jungkook goes through each slide presentation, asking both of you for more information he thinks he needs and about how he’s carrying himself, his tone, his pace, and his engagement. It’s good enough for a first run-through, Manager Lee says, and Jungkook decides to dry-run it again on Thursday. 

The rest of your day goes by a little stressfully. There are multiple events that you have to organize and coordinate with other offices, and those are what you work on until you clock out on time.

Jungkook stays behind for only half an hour before deciding he’s had enough of looking through his notes and will return to them tomorrow. He takes the elevator and nods when Yoongi enters.

“Hey,” Jungkook greets. “How are the designs for the Changwon mid-rise?”

“It’s 6:00. I don’t wanna talk about work,” Yoongi whines. 

Jungkook knows this. It’s also why he likes to tease his friend about it. 

“Fine. We can just stand next to each other awkwardly until we have to get off,” Jungkook says.

“Hmm,” Yoongi hums. “Or, we can talk about how my lunch plans changed because someone asked my lunch partner for a meeting.”

The tension immediately rises and Jungkook hates how affected he is by Yoongi’s teasing. 

“Ah, so it was you. Well, she did say it wasn’t as important as what we were meeting about,” Jungkook hits back.

“True. It’s about the Board meeting after all. It’s a pretty big deal.”

Jungkook starts to feel hot all over, as the thought of you and Yoongi conversing about your thwarted lunch plans because of him plays in his head. It’s a mix of frustration and disappointment. While the meeting was in no way confidential, he just hates the idea that it was something you shared with Yoongi. Perhaps it’s just after the fact, considering that Jungkook thinks it was a good lunch. You clearly enjoyed the dish - he could see how you tried to control your reactions to it - and your conversations went by smoothly. You were honest and supportive; he was open and all the more surprised with how well you were able to calm him down. It’s as if someone else was privy to that moment you both shared, even if Yoongi wasn’t there. 

“Huh, I thought you were over her,” Jungkook says, the bitterness slicing through. If his friend picks it up, he doesn’t say anything.

“I am. We were just gonna have lunch at this noodle house because she was craving it,” Yoongi clarifies. “I told you, I’m her only friend here. It’s nice to share a meal with someone who cares about you every once in a while, you know? It’s hard being a working adult and we all need a bit of a break and a companion sometimes. It didn’t mean anything more than that.”

Jungkook chooses not to respond and Yoongi could tell why. There’s this look of annoyance painting the younger man’s face, which makes him a lot more transparent than he wishes he was. 

But Yoongi can see right through his friend. It’s not something he raises though, but he won’t be surprised if Jungkook dwells on this. He just hopes it isn’t to your detriment again.

The ride home wasn’t as terrible last night, and after your elder neighbor gave you some stew because she cooked too much, you had a satisfying dinner and an even more satisfying slumber. 

You feel like the end of the week isn’t too far ahead - although there really isn’t anything exciting for you except for a date with your bed - and you just want to get through all your tasks for the day and get that jjajangmyeon that Yoongi said he’ll get for you today so you can eat it for dinner. You were initially upset at having to pass up on him for yesterday’s lunch, but you’d be the first to admit that sharing that meal with Jungkook was still worthwhile.

Not only was the dish you ordered one of the best things you’ve ever eaten, it was also nice to see Jungkook loosen up a bit after feeling tense all morning because of his presentation. You liked that he’s being open to getting support from you, as it seems that he sees you now as more than just the assistant who’s there to serve him. He seems to appreciate your thoughts and didn’t even act bitterly when you gave him unsolicited advice. You feel even more that your relationship improves daily.

That is, until you enter his penthouse this Wednesday morning with barely a look of acknowledgement from him. Going through your routine, he doesn’t say much; he stays silent the entire ride to the office as well.

When you enter his room to serve his coffee, his furrowed brows have returned and his jaws are clenched as he types away on his desktop.

“Ms. Cho,” he calls out, his voice stern once again. 

You turn around to face him, wondering what has happened since you left the office yesterday.

“Yes, Mr. Jeon?”

“I just wanted to raise that while I understand you have personal relationships with other employees, I do not appreciate you divulging the topics of our meetings with them. Even if they’re my friend as well.”

His last sentence gives away who he’s talking about, and the conversation with Yoongi after you canceled your lunch plans with him rings in your head. 

It was a harmless statement, you want to say; you didn’t share any more than it being a meeting about his presentation. There was no ill-intent in you telling Yoongi why you couldn’t see him for lunch. But you choose to pass up on reasoning with Jungkook. He builds his wall up even more when you do, and you don’t want things to be that way again, not when they seemed to be going okay already these past few days.

So you nod and concede. “I understand, Mr. Jeon, and I apologize. I won’t do it again.”

Jungkook can’t help but just look at you, internally smacking himself as your face falls further and as you, once again, feel far away because of his own stupidity. 

“Is there anything else you need, sir?” 

He shakes his head no, and you bow in response, heading out, with the sadness in your eyes as the last thing he sees. 

Jungkook is unable to focus on his emails and the conference call he takes part in. The words and thoughts are all jumbled when he practices his presentation, as his gaze constantly flits to your spot just outside where you sit, doing your tasks while looking detached and dejected. 

He assumes you didn’t come to work expecting to be called out the way he did with you, which in hindsight, didn’t seem necessary, especially knowing how it’s affecting you right now. Things were going well between both of you after all - he’s being more open and you’re being more comfortable. Information was flowing smoothly, and communication has improved. And he just went ahead and screwed all that up.

Jungkook starts to feel stuffy. He’s been in his office working on things for the Arts Center and practicing most of the day, with you only coming in to bring the lunch he’d asked Mr. Ri to buy and his cups of coffee. You’ve avoided his gaze and haven't said much to him, too. 

He decides to take a walk outside. The outdoor space on this floor has nice benches and a small garden that overlooks the Han River. He’s seen the team eat there sometimes, and while the weather may be a little too hot for it, he’d much rather breathe in the air than his humidifier. 

But as he takes his time to open the door, he hears a familiar voice from outside.

“Fine, if you won’t take the sandwich, at least take the noodles,” Yoongi says. “You’ve been craving that all weekend.”

“Not anymore,” you huff, seemingly annoyed.

“Hey, did I do something wrong?” Yoongi asks, calm and understanding in tone, traits that Jungkook could only hope to have. 

“No… I don’t know,” you sigh. “Just that, whatever I talk to you about or mention, other people don’t need to know them, okay? No matter how harmless they are. Let’s just… not talk about work stuff. Especially in the office. That’s it.”

“Ah, so that’s what this is about.”

“What do you—”

“Mr. Min,” Jungkook calls out, fully opening the door now. “I have design guidelines I need you to go over. I need them by tomorrow morning.”

“Okay, Jungkook,” Yoongi bitterly replies, knowing what’s happened. “Just send them over to me.”

“Ms. Cho will do that right now.”

You nod in acknowledgement of Jungkook’s instruction and remain focused on your desktop. There’s silence in the air and tension that you can’t deal with right now.

“Can I help you with anything else, Mr. Min?” 

“Nah. If I do, I’ll check with your boss first if I can ask you for it. Don’t want you getting in trouble because of me.”

You finally look up at him, a tinge of annoyance painting his face, a rarity since Yoongi doesn’t seem to ever be irate about anything. 

“And I’ll just take this jjajangmyeon if you don’t want it,” he adds, taking the container that’s on the ledge of your desk with him, before walking out of your area.

You can’t help the pout that forms on your lips. You really love that noodle house’s version and you’ve been craving it for days. It’s where you and Yoongi were both supposed to have lunch yesterday but Jungkook spoiled it, and it wouldn’t have mattered as much, until it became a reason for him to be upset with you again. You’re not exactly sure why, but much as you want to question your boss this time, you don’t have the energy for it. It doesn’t seem worth it, but it also doesn’t change the fact that Yoongi might have said something to Jungkook, and that’s a dynamic you’re still unsure how to read or deal with. 

Your gaze shifts to the man himself, who looks less annoyed than he did at the start of the day. You don’t know how his practice has been going, since he hasn’t asked you to run it with him, but you suppose he’s doing alright. He’s been in his room all day doing that and taking calls in between. 

Jungkook looks away and heads out. He lets the summer air clear his mind a little before he goes back inside. It’s 6PM by the time he emerges from his room, surprised at seeing your face still buried in piles of papers.

“Ms. Cho, I’ll be heading to Hoseok’s for dinner,” he says, getting your attention. “Anything that needs my signature or approval can wait tomorrow.”

He hopes you’ll read through his words, as he wishes you’d take a rest yourself, like you advise him to do.

“Finance needs your expense reports first thing tomorrow morning, Mr. Jeon,” you say, a little too stoic than he’s used to. “These can be signed tomorrow when you arrive.”

Jungkook just nods, knowing there’s not much he can do if you don’t want to go home yet. But he does leave you with a reminder.

“Ms. Cho,” he says before leaving. He’s met with curious eyes that he tries not to fall into. “Make sure to eat a proper dinner.”

He walks out too quickly, not wanting to see your reaction.

You’re too tired to react, but that just pushes you to finish all your work and head to the pantry for some biscuits. It’s then that you see the paper bag with a note on it. 

For ___. Do not touch! 

At the back, Yoongi writes, I’m sorry. Here’s a man who knows how to apologize, you think to yourself.

The bowl of jjajangmyeon is inside, as well as a container of gimari. The scent reminds you of how hungry you are, so you heat up the noodles and inhale your dinner as you stand by the table. The empty office and the faint sounds of the air conditioning make you think of how alone you really are - working past your hours on a Wednesday evening, a takeaway meal from a friend you’re pushing away, and a stressful trip back to your empty studio apartment. 

You rarely ever feel lonely. You don’t equate being alone with that specific emotion or state. There’s certainty and clarity you get from being on your own. But on certain days, you let yourself crack a little and be vulnerable. On certain days, you let yourself admit that being alone makes you feel lonely, and that at this precise moment, it’s exactly what you feel. 

You send Yoongi a message of thanks but don’t extend the conversation after he replies. You know it isn’t his fault, and knowing him, he wouldn’t have deliberately said anything that would’ve put you in this position. It could just be Jungkook misconstruing things, but you’ve been caught off guard and you don’t feel like dealing with anyone right now. 

Resuming your work, you do your last review of the expense report and leave it on his desk for his signature in the morning - a struggle considering how messy it is, which is also a rarity, as he always likes to keep things organized. You can tell how stressed he is just by this, and the thought hits you again that it’s the Board meeting in two days, and he needs you to be your best for him; he needs you to be calm and stable for him. 

Whatever you’re feeling can be pushed to the side until next week. You’ll talk to Yoongi after all this is over, you tell yourself; it’s more important that you focus on your tasks and just act as professionally and as unbothered as possible. 

That proves to be easy early the next morning. You go about preparing Jungkook’s day in his penthouse, going over your coordination and organization of the upcoming events and acting as if what happened yesterday doesn’t bother you, with him not acting out of the ordinary, too. It’s easy when you get to the office as well. He signs off on the expense reports and you go to finance with only minimal clarifications needed.

But when you return to your desk and Jungkook calls you to his room, you feel the tension start to build as you find Yoongi seated on the chair, his face turning sullen at the sight of you. 

You nod at him but look away immediately, shifting your gaze towards Jungkook. 

“What can I help you with, Mr. Jeon?”

“Deciding on the pieces to be displayed in the event halls of the Arts Center,” he replies. “Artist Lee Jaemin gave us her portfolio for us to choose from. And I’d like you and Yoongi to work on it together before lunch.”

This prompts you to look at Jungkook in surprise. He just told you off about the things you told Yoongi - which, to your defense, wasn’t even anything substantial - and now he’s making you work with the man.

“What about the run through of your presentation, sir?” You ask.

“I’ll do it with Manager Lee. His feedback will be adequate,” Jungkook replies. “I need your options because I’ll be speaking with her tonight about the chosen pieces.”

“I…, uh,” you stutter. “In what way can I be of help, Mr. Jeon? Wouldn’t Mr. Min be enough to make those decisions?”

“You hold the budget, Ms. Cho,” he reminds you. “We need to make sure we follow it. And you and Mr. Min understand my vision more than anyone and I need both of you to bring that to life with those artworks. I’m packed with meetings today so I don’t have time to sort through all of them. I trust that you’ll make the best decisions.”

“Of course we will, Jungkook,” Yoongi says, a bit of bitterness laced in it. “___ and I work well together. It isn’t the first time.”

Jungkook merely nods, and you feel the tension build up even more as both men share hardened looks that you can’t particularly decipher. 

“I… I’ll go ahead and prepare the conference room. I shall see you there shortly, Mr. Min.”

You exit the office and breathe a sigh of relief from being out of there. You don’t know what their friendship is like, so you’re unsure if the tension is a sign of something serious or if it’s just a normal thing for them. You choose to brush it off for now and prepare for the meeting, walking to the pantry for a cup of tea before you do. 

Back inside, both men remain unmoving, their gazes not faltering away from each other. Yoongi’s look of displeasure is a contrast to Jungkook’s somber, almost guilty face. 

“Driving a wedge between us is kind of an asshole move, you know?” Yoongi finally says. “I don’t know what your deal is but this isn’t how you make it up to her. You don’t get to be nice one day then just decide you’ll be jealous and irrational the next without her even knowing what she did.”

“That’s… that’s not what I was trying to do,” Jungkook reasons. 

“Then what were you trying to do?” Yoongi scoffs. “I was the one she turned down to have lunch with you. Actually, it was her plan, because she’s been spending so much time alone and she just wanted to hang out with a friend. And not only did you hinder that, you also made her feel like she did something wrong when all she said was that you had to talk about the Board meeting. No one would even bat an eye. Now she can’t even talk to me properly without fearing it’ll hurt your fragile ego.”

The truth is a huge slap on Jungkook’s face, and he feels it sting. He’s seen your comfort around his friend a few times. He also knows that Yoongi has been looking out for you when you fail to take care of yourself. And because of that jealousy and his fragile ego, you might just end up pushing Yoongi away, and isolating you is the last thing Jungkook wants to do.

He tries to say something but his throat dries up, knowing that verbalizing anything would prompt him to face feelings he’s trying so hard to suppress. He hopes Yoongi sees right through him, and the sullen look of the older man says he might.

“You’re not a bad person, Jungkook,” Yoongi says. “I don’t know what about her makes you like this. But if all you’ll do is find fault in everything she does, you’re gonna lose all the progress in your relationship. And you've got to know that’s not fair to her. You know she doesn’t deserve that.”

“She doesn’t.”

It’s the way Jungkook says the words that Yoongi knows his friend regrets what he’d done, perhaps not just yesterday but the other times as well. There’s this emptiness in Jungkook’s eyes that Yoongi hasn’t seen before; he doesn’t want the younger man to drown and lose himself in it.

“I’m… I’m, uh—”

“I know,” Yoongi interjects, knowing how hard it is for Jungkook to verbalize what he feels. “And I forgive you. I suggest you find the words and say them to her. Yeah?”

Jungkook merely nods, knowing that would be difficult for him, not because he won’t mean it but because they mean so much more. With you, it always does. 

“I’ll head to meet with her now.”

“Please fix it,” Jungkook almost pleads. “I think she needs you.”

Yoongi gives a look of understanding then heads out to the conference room where he finds you seated already. The lights are dim, allowing him to see Lee Jaemin’s art pieces projected on the wall. You’re focused on your laptop screen, not budging even as he opens the door and sits next to you.

“Are you still mad at me?” Yoongi asks, urging you to look at him.

“No,” you say softly.

“Then why do you act like you still are?” He asks sullenly. “You know I’m sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault though,” you reply, finally turning to him, your own soft eyes mirroring his. “You shouldn’t be apologizing.”

“But I want to. Because I know it matters that you hear the words even if they’re not from the person who needs to be saying them.”

“You know he doesn’t do that,” you sigh, knowing exactly who he means.

“He’ll have to learn how to. Or just stop having a reason to apologize in the first place.” 

“We’ll see about that,” you shrug. “But I’m sorry, too. I just didn’t know how to act yesterday and earlier. I just didn’t want any more drama.”

“I know, and it’s okay. It’s not your fault either. I had to call him out for it.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I called him an asshole.”

“You–what?”

“Well, sort of. He had to hear it, and it seemed like he knew it, too. That's why he wanted me to fix things. Not that anything was broken, as far as I know.”

“Is that why he made me meet with you?”

“Yes, about something that he and I could easily do over coffee or a meal,” Yoongi chuckles. “But like I told you before - he tries. It’s usually just a misstep or something more complicated than actually saying sorry.”

“It’s hard for him to say, I guess. Maybe he just has his own ways of saying them.”

“It’s still not an excuse to be an asshole though.”

“At least you’re there to call him out for it,” you chuckle.

Yoongi laughs along, knowing it’s a role in Jungkook’s life that he wouldn’t mind taking. And just like that, the tension between the two of you is gone. He throws in a few jokes in there that take seconds for you to process, and it’s his crinkled smile that makes you smile and feel comfortable as well. It’s the icebreaker you need before getting to work, and it takes you both until lunchtime to decide on which of Lee Jaemin’s pieces you think would fit well in the event halls that Jungkook wants to put them in. 

It’s a different experience for you, as you’ve never made decisions like this before. You wouldn’t say you’re artistic in any sense, but Yoongi’s approval of your choices and agreement with your reasoning make you feel that you aren’t as design-blind as you think. And while Jungkook has the final say - you’re not even sure if your choices would make the final cut - it’s still satisfying to see the empty spaces come to life on your screen with artworks that you chose with Yoongi, while still being within budget.  

You both walk back to your work area where you see Manager Lee, and he tells you that Jungkook seems ready for tomorrow’s Board meeting. You enter his office with Yoongi, presenting what you’ve come up with - the greens and pinks common in her pieces give the room so much life, and the imperfections of her subjects leave viewers with much to admire. From the tropics to intimacy, the bright yet muted palette of the images elicits both joy and loneliness.

Jungkook goes through them while you and Yoongi look on.

“I’ll check each piece again later,” Jungkook says. “But these look good; I’d choose these myself.”

“___ chose most of them,” Yoongi says, earning him a glare from you.

“Is that so, Ms. Cho?” Jungkook asks.

“Mr. Min helped. And those pieces just spoke to me, I guess,” you answer shyly. “They’re beautiful pieces, Mr. Jeon. But I don’t have any arts or design background so please feel free to change them.”

“We’ll see,” he says, looking at you with a kind of affirmation that you’re not used to. 

You nod in response and check the time. He’s got another meeting in an hour and he should be having lunch soon.

“What would you like to eat, Mr. Jeon? I can get it for you,” you say.

“No need. I asked Mr. Ri to get me something. I figured you might have lunch plans,” Jungkook responds, glancing at you and then Yoongi. 

You look at the man next to you, who motions towards the door and you get what he means immediately. 

“Okay, Mr. Jeon. I’ll go take my break now.”

You walk out with Yoongi who asks you what you’re craving, and sweet and sour pork comes to mind. He chuckles at your excited face, and you grab your purse and head out, turning back once to catch Jungkook watching you walk away.

Maybe this is his apology. In whatever form it is, you’ll take it. You find sometimes that the silence in place of words means a lot more, in ways that feel more. 

The rest of your afternoon again feels like a blur, as you meet with the support team about the upcoming events and make sure everyone is on the same page. You spend an hour on the phone with Lucas about some Singapore and Malaysia-based Korean artists who are flying for the project launch in a few weeks while Jungkook goes from one virtual meeting to another. 

It’s 5:30 before you know it, and you’re working on your spreadsheets when Jungkook walks out of his office, saying that he’s meeting with Lee Jaemin later in the evening and that he’ll just update you about the final pieces. 

You acknowledge him and wish him goodbye, but he stops on the way, at the entrance towards the hallway, making sure he remains present while unable to see you.

“Ms. Cho,” he calls out, surprising you.

“Yes, Mr. Jeon?”

“About what I said yesterday, I apologize,” he says, almost stuttering. “Especially if it caused a rift between you and Yoongi. I didn’t intend that.”

You’re too shocked to say anything, much more process the words that you can’t believe he’s saying. But he really is apologizing; he really is trying.

“It… it’s okay, Mr. Jeon. I understand.”

There’s a beat of silence, and you’re left to observe him from this angle - jaws clenched, head bowed down. 

He deeply exhales. “I’ll go now. No need to stay late; you can go home when you’re able.”

“Okay, sir. Have a good night.”

He finally leaves, and the silence engulfs you. Sometimes, words in any form truly matter. You could only hope that Jungkook knows that.

The suit that you choose for Jungkook for today’s big day is a dark gray textured piece. He looks immaculate as he stands before you, and you try your best to even your breathing as you fix his tie like you do every morning. There’s something about him today that makes him more handsome than usual - a quality that you’ve found yourself admitting and accepting more easily as the days go by. He exudes a certain kind of confidence and power with his attire and his parted hair. There’s determination in his eyes as he stands tall, ready to face the day. 

And you’re there, admiring the way he carries himself just inches away.

You fix the collar of his suit and make sure that all creases are flattened. You meet his eyes and the confidence melts away a little.

“Do I look respectable enough?” He asks, a little less serious than you expected. It’s when you see the nervousness in his eyes that you know how important today is for him.

“Yes,” you assure him. “You also look ready to impress the Board members with your presentation and get them on your side. I’m sure your vision about the Arts Center will make them believers.”

“Ah, well, that’s asking for too much, I guess,” he laughs dryly. “But I was on the call with Lee Jaemin last night and she was so excited for the launch. It would get her to visit Seoul often, she said, and that made me realize that artists like her and the consumers, the ordinary people, the ones who the Center is for - they’re the ones who matter. It’s their interest and appreciation that I value, not the Board’s.”

“That’s a good realization to come to, then, Mr. Jeon,” you smile, suddenly feeling like you’re seeing a different man - someone who cares about meaning and the power of art. “I suppose if that’s your mindset coming into the meeting, then you’ll definitely do well.”

“I think if there’s at least one other person who ends up believing in the value of the Center, that would be enough for me,” he says, holding your gaze for a while before turning away. “But uh, today is more than that. You and I both know they’re there to assess my capabilities - social and otherwise - and definitely point out what I lack, or probably tell me I’m not cut out for this job or that I’m terrible or something. I mean, you would know, right?”

His eyes, focused downward, slowly shift to you. You know what he means, and given that he isn’t the type to admit to things, this is probably the only other time that he comes close to acknowledging how he was to you.

“Mr. Jeon, if you’re indeed terrible, I would have quit after a week. Or… well, after the second day,” you admit. 

“Why didn’t you?”

“Well, I couldn’t afford to,” you chuckle to ease the tension. “But also I… I saw the change. And that’s always a good thing. Lacking something is normal. We all have things we need to work on but that doesn’t make us terrible people. That just means we need a bit of understanding from others. And that also means we just have to keep trying to be better.”

There’s a sullenness in Jungkook’s eyes but there’s acceptance and understanding, too. Perhaps it’s the most sincere you’ve seen him look, and of all the days that he needs assurance about how he’s been, today is when he needs it the most. Sure, there are still things about him that you wish he’d work on. He’s still not the best person in the world. He could still be a bit impulsive with you and can sometimes be irrational in your eyes and definitely needs work on dealing with his emotions. But he’s trying. That always counts for something.

“We do,” he nods.

“Your father believes in you. Hoseok believes in you, so does Yoongi.” Holding his gaze, you add, “so do I. So trust in yourself. If you can’t do it for you, you can do it for us.”

“Is giving pep talks part of the job description?” 

“It should,” you giggle. “But I’ve given several of them to Mr. Jung. I’ve learned that during stressful moments or just when we’re a little overwhelmed, it makes a difference to hear the things we already know from someone else.”

“I’m a little stubborn, but I hope you continue doing that for me. For as long as you think I deserve it.”

Jungkook doesn’t know where the honesty and vulnerability are coming from. But he’s found that with you, it’s natural - difficult because they’re things he rarely is around other people, but natural. He doesn’t want to question it anymore for fear of learning what else is instinctive for him when it comes to you. But with the way his insides melt with how you sweetly and assuringly smile at him, he realizes that his defenses against you are not that strong to begin with.   

“Well, we don’t have time to pass by a cafe for a nice breakfast so I asked Mr. Ri to get some instead,” you announce, changing the subject now. 

You walk towards the dining room where he follows, and you present a spread of pastries, walnut tarts, and sausage rolls alongside a large cup of coffee. 

“I don’t really eat before a big meeting,” he says, frowning a little. “I’m sure Lucas told you that.”

“He did, but I’m a little stubborn, too,” you counter. “Breakfast is important before a big meeting, Mr. Jeon. It’ll help you focus, even if that’s just one tart or half a danish or a quarter of a roll. Eating will improve your energy levels and lift your mood. It might help ease your nerves somehow.”

“Fine, but I’ll just have half a roll.”

“No worries. You can always eat some more throughout the day,” you say.

Jungkook ends up finishing the entire roll and a walnut tart, while you finish a danish and settle for tea. You pack up what’s left, and he instructs you to give the rest to the team. 

The car ride is quiet, save for the gentle sound of his pencil gliding through the pages of his leather notebook. He seems to be channeling his energy in a way that allows him to be calm, you think, and that’s a good thing. 

You arrive at the building and Jungkook goes straight to his office while you excuse yourself to go to the conference room to help the other assistants prepare it. You don’t see Jungkook until an hour later when he enters, and you lead him to his seat then serve his coffee afterwards. It gets busy quickly as the Board members arrive, and you help in ushering them to their seats and catering to their needs. Before you know it, the assistants are heading out, leaving them and the executives to discuss confidential matters that none of you are required to know.

It’s another two hours before the presentations start, but Jungkook won’t go until after lunch. So you settle in your desk and work on various things, unable to fully focus because your mind constantly goes to him. 

This is normal, you convince yourself; you had the same nervous energy for Hoseok the first time he did this. But then again, it was your first time, too. Perhaps it’s knowing how much it means to Jungkook and his own worries that makes you feel uneasy.

You understand the feeling of wanting to prove oneself, and not always being able to fully express that desire to others. He’s been honest with you recently, and sometimes it can feel quite isolating when no one is there to share the burden, which is why you’ve been trying to cheer him up and encourage him, in hopes that he’ll feel supported, that whatever happens today, he knows he has you on his side.

You proceed to the function hall for the catered lunch where you meet Jungkook. He shares the table with Hoseok and Bitna, as well as Ji-woo and her assistant, and you engage in conversation with them like old times. 

Jungkook watches you speak to his cousins casually but respectfully, and he doesn’t miss the inside jokes and personal details that you all share. You still look a little reserved, but there’s this comfort in the way you express yourself around people who trust and care for and respect you. 

He’s always known Hoseok and Ji-woo to be great with the employees, and a part of Jungkook envies that they’re able to just share parts of themselves with others, that they’re able to expend their time and energy being around them, something that’s always been difficult for him. He likes his privacy, likes his own space; he revels in the silence to battle the noise in his head. He’s protective of his thoughts and his feelings; he’s particular with who uses his time and energy on; he keeps his distance because it’s always easier - to not be involved, to not be invested, to not be known at all rather than be judged because of what people know. 

He also thinks it’s quite isolating. Outside of his family - whom he keeps his distance from as well - the only person who knows him enough is Lucas, but it’s as shallow as just knowing his preferences and his technical opinion on things, not his dreams or fears or everyday thoughts and emotions. 

Jungkook isn’t someone that people go to for advice or for encouraging words; he’s not someone that people ask about how he’s doing; he’s not a person that others seek for comfort or warmth. He’s just a man who does his work, that people serve, that people want approval from for their own gains. He’s not someone they’d go through lengths for. He just takes up space that others orbit around but he’s not the center of their world; he isn’t anybody’s.

“Is everything okay, Mr. Jeon?” You disrupt his thoughts. “Is there anything you want?”

“Chocolate milk,” he says too quickly. “Uh, only if there is.”

“Hot?”

“Yes.”

You call the server and ask if they have any, but the man says they don’t, so you decide to head to one of the stalls at the food hall downstairs.

“You don’t have to,” Jungkook says, pulling your wrist in reflex as you stand up.

You’re caught off guard and so is he, and he immediately lets go and apologizes for it. The guilt in his eyes is similar to the one you saw at the restaurant when you’d admitted that he made you feel uncomfortable, and something about it makes you feel moved. 

“I mean, uh, it’s okay. It’s not urgent,” he adds, looking away.

“If it’ll help, then I should get it for you, Mr. Jeon,” you insist. “It won’t take long. I’ll be back before lunch ends.”

You don’t wait for a response and head out, leaving Jungkook with curious looks from his cousins.

“So, I see you’ve warmed up to her already,” Ji-woo hums, smiling. 

“You could say that,” Jungkook shrugs, acting nonchalant.

“Well, it’s about time you did,” Ji-woo shakes her head. “She works incredibly hard and she’s very reliable.” At the younger man’s nod in agreement, she adds, “you just had to give her a chance. There’s a reason why uncle and Hoseok wanted her around for you.”

“I guess,” Jungkook hums. “She’s… she’s a good person. I don’t really know if I deserve that but she is to me. She’s required to be, I suppose.”

“Or she sees you as a human being who needs a bit of warmth and joy in his life,” Ji-woo suggests. “Kindness goes a long way, you know? She’s said before that there are people who have extended it to her and maybe she’s just doing that, too.”

“Or maybe she sees something in you,” Hoseok says now. 

“Like what?” Jungkook scoffs, knowing himself that after he’s treated you, there’s no way you’d see something in him, whatever that is.

“Like an emptiness, or yearning. Something she feels, too,” Hoseok responds. “Maybe she’s unknowingly making you feel something that she wants to feel herself, you know? I had A-yeong, my sister, my parents, my friends... Seeing her now with you, she didn’t pay attention to my every need the way she’s doing now, and that’s not a criticism of her. Perhaps she just knew that I had other people to do that.”

“And I’m the lonely, single, friendless man that she’s stuck with,” Jungkook laughs dryly, although he’s not offended. Deep down, he knows it’s true.

“Sort of,” Hoseok chuckles. “But what I really mean is that she knows what it’s like to not have someone to look after her like that. You may think it’s just her job but I think it’s her not wanting you to feel like there’s no one there for you. Maybe if you see it that way, you wouldn’t think you don’t deserve it. Then you can accept it and maybe you can do the same.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Jungkook counters, given that keeping his distance is exactly what he plans to do because any closer would just lead him down a path that he won’t be able to escape from.

“It’s not that deep,” Ji-woo says. “I think what my brother is saying is that it’s okay to be friends, you know? Or just allow her to be nice to you and then return the favor. It’s a much better dynamic. I mean, I’m sure he’s told you but things are just gonna be more challenging down the road, once you’re past the adjusting phase. You’ll need her like you’ve never needed anyone before. I do mean that professionally, but that also requires a kind of relationship where you know and trust and respect each other. It goes both ways.”

Jungkook takes in his cousins’ words, knowing that they speak from experience, and they’ve been doing this longer than he has. He already knows he needs you. That itself terrifies him. He also knows he has to rely on you, and maybe that entails allowing you to care for him in ways that no one - not since Chaerin, at least - has ever done before. That means letting you come close, allowing you to know him, letting you be there for him. Doing the same for you isn’t a question of whether he wants to or not - he’ll probably be denying it to his grave, but it’s about whether he can remain within the boundaries he set for himself, knowing already how you affect him without even doing much. 

The thought gives Jungkook a headache, but it’s not something he can give attention to right now. He’s got a presentation to do in less than an hour. He’ll be scrutinized and questioned and probably judged and then he realizes it again - he needs you through all that. He already knows you’ll be encouraging and supportive; you’ve shown that in the past week especially, and he’s appreciated and hated every single moment of it.

The hurried footsteps signal that you’re back, and you take your seat next to him.

You’re panting as you place the cup on the table. “Here you go, Mr. Jeon. I’m not sure if it’s as milky as you want it but the really good cafe downstairs said it should be good. Oh and uh, wrap your hands around it,” you instruct, earning you a curious look. “Your hands are very cold.”

Jungkook does as you say, feeling the warmth of the drink through his skin, even more when he takes a sip and finds that it tastes just as he wanted. 

“This is good. Thank you,” he utters, not wanting to meet your eyes.

You exhale a sigh of relief. You know how he has particular tastes and you just went with a hot chocolate even if he specifically said he wanted chocolate milk. There’s a brand he likes from Lucas’ list and you didn’t have time to actually get it or even store the office pantry with it - which you realize now you should do, and you make a mental note of doing an inventory so you could request for more of the things he likes later on.

“You’re welcome,” you reply. “I… I hope it helps for the presentation. Or the nerves. Or just in general.”

“It has,” he confirms, humming with every sip.

Not long after, everyone is instructed to head back to the conference room so the meeting can resume. You take your seat with the other assistants at the side after you’ve ensured that the presentation is ready while Jungkook heads to the front. You watch him go through his notes a final time, and when he sets them aside and looks up, his eyes find yours.

They’re still tainted with worry, you can tell even from several feet away. So you give him a comforting smile, knowing it’s what he needs. You gently nod and give him a double thumbs up as if to say that he can do it, and he nods back, as if to say that he’ll do his best.

And that’s exactly what he does.

The presentation goes for a quarter of an hour, and while he does give a good rundown of the achievements of the past three months, it’s his pitch of the Arts Center that really makes him shine. The visuals are good to begin with. He did those blueprints himself and the designs give life to his vision, but he explains every aspect of the project with just enough detail to enable the audience to imagine how it looks and what it makes them feel. He took into consideration earlier worries about profits and brand reputation, as well as anticipated questions and points of attack, so he goes ahead and addresses them to the point that he can’t be scrutinized for anything that’s lacking. He keeps in mind the qualities of each Board member, so he makes eye contact if he needs to and acknowledges side comments and builds on them. 

He’s definitely added more - and improved - since that first runthrough you did with him, and he looks very confident and very respectable. You can tell that he values not just profits but art itself - its creation, its appreciation, and the various ways it can be experienced. As someone who yearns for that kind of passion for something, seeing him like this is quite moving. 

It doesn’t help that he looks as good as he does standing up there, and it’s a thought you let yourself have before dispelling it quickly. 

He gets approving nods from most of the Board members. The rest still look a bit doubtful, but you suppose they wouldn’t directly criticize Jungkook and his plans in front of everyone after a presentation like that. You also take a peak at CEO Jeon who’s unable to hide how proud he is of his son. Hoseok and Ji-woo exchange smiles as well. But Jungkook remains focused, ready to answer any questions or comments from the Board.

Mr. Mun is the first to commend him and doesn’t ask much. Mr. Im surprisingly praises Jungkook after admitting his reservations, and Mr. Saito, as you expected, asks clarificatory questions that just builds on what was earlier presented. Jungkook’s readiness and creativity are highlighted as well, and you can tell that the older man is extremely excited for this project. 

The hour is up before you know it, with only minimal questions and a few comments from the attendees. Ji-woo and Hoseok raise points to help with marketing and earning profit, and you take note of all those for discussion and debriefing next week. 

Jungkook thanks everyone before returning to his seat, and you see the breath he lets out after, seemingly glad that that’s at least over. You catch his attention again, and you can’t help your smile. He acknowledges you with a nod, and he turns his focus towards Hoseok as the next presenter. The afternoon goes by like this, with Ji-woo going last and CEO Jeon closing out the meeting. 

There’s some time before the fellowship dinner, which is spent with side conversations and check-ins. Mr. Saito goes to Jungkook right away and you see the latter’s face light up a little, although you don’t miss the sniffing and the throat clearing that he does. You think that his cold hands earlier weren’t due to his nervousness; perhaps the last month has finally caught up to him because you truly believe that this man does not rest. 

You head out to return to your desk, knowing you’ve got several things to do before the dinner that assistants are invited to. You fly through your notes from earlier and some administrative tasks before heading back to the event hall where you find Jungkook talking to Mrs. Seo and Mr. Ong this time, two people who’d most likely be critical of him so you’re glad that he’s at least forging some relations, if their animated way of speaking is any indication. 

You see him excuse himself to head to the washroom, and you take this time to order a cup of ginseng tea for him. It arrives just as he returns to his seat, and when it registers why you’d ordered it, he nods and mumbles his thanks.

“If I may, perhaps you shouldn’t stay long, Mr. Jeon,” you suggest. “It’s been a tiring week and you need to rest.”

Jungkook hates being told what to do, but he’s also never had someone tell him to rest because he needs it, much less even know that he’s not feeling alright. 

“I need to engage with the Board,” he reasons. “I’m sure that’s what father would like. I can rest during the weekend.”

“Okay, sir,” you sigh, knowing he’s also right. Perhaps he’s accepted that this is a critical part of his new role as Vice President. “Just let me know if there’s anything more that I can help you with.”

“I will.”

You sit at the table where the other assistants are, engaging in hushed conversations as you talk about the Board members and how tired you all are. It’s nice being around them, as you all share the experience of stress and isolation, of knowing too much sometimes, of security and stagnancy. They know what you’re going through, partially at least - unlike you, they have people to go home to and proper hobbies that excite them. They have loved ones close by and things they look forward to during the weekends. So while they do make you feel understood, you also can’t help but be a bit jealous. 

Your thoughts are suspended when Bitna offers to take you home. It’s well past 9 and you’re not keen on staying longer to drink with the rest of the big bosses here. You glance at Jungkook who has a wine in hand, clearly trying his best to keep up with the conversations he’s a part of. He looks incredibly tired - much more than usual - and you feel bad that this isn’t something you can help him with. 

You take Bitna’s offer and you both head to your respective bosses to bid your goodbyes. Jungkook nods and mentions his meeting with the artist last night that he says he’ll discuss with you on Monday. There’s more you want to say, but you worry he’ll think you’re nagging about his health - which, you remind yourself, is also part of your job - and you don’t want to end the week on a sour note. 

Jungkook watches you leave the event hall and he immediately feels your absence. Even when you spent much of your time apart, he could feel you there, partly because of the ginseng tea that you ordered for him twice at your insistence and partly because the knowledge that you’re around is enough. And now you aren’t, and he suddenly can’t stand any more of the socializing he has to do. 

But he powers through it for another hour. When he bids his father goodbye, the older man commends him for his presentation earlier and the way he handled himself throughout the fellowship dinner. It’s assuring, but he knows there’s so much more work to be done so he doesn’t revel in it any longer than a few seconds. 

The drive home is quiet. His soft groans as he massages his temples are the only sounds in the car. When he arrives at his empty penthouse, he grabs a bottle of whiskey from the counter and sits on the couch - a glass in hand, necktie and buttons undone, feet on the coffee table, and head rolled back as he reminds himself that he survived the day, that he did a good job, and that he changed some of the Board members’ minds about him. 

And much as he tries to keep away the image of you, he’s unable to - there you were in the room, on his side, cheering him on. He didn’t miss the satisfied smile on your face once he finished his presentation, nor your look of worry after the ginseng tea was placed on the table. 

You’re just good at that - making him feel like someone looks out for him, that someone else minds that he succeeds, that someone cares that he’s not well and that he should rest. 

The smile on his face fades once he’s reminded that you’re supposed to do all that, and that he isn’t anyone special, nor should he be. It’s the thought that keeps him behind the lines - you’re unattainable in so many ways, yet he’s also glad that you are. It’s easier to be mindful of his place like that; it’s easier to accept that you’re you and he’s him, and it’s easier to do his job when he knows you’re just doing yours.

At least, that’s what he hopes. 

But when he gets a call from reception the next morning about a package that you dropped off, all that wishful thinking seems pointless. And as he stares at the bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of him, all his thoughts from the night before come crashing down.

Why is everything so hard when it comes to you?

Series Masterlist

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[hwaightme]

ateez as signs of love (relationship hcs)

(masterlist) (perma-taglist)

8️⃣ pairing: bf!ateez x gn!reader 8️⃣ genre: headcanons, fluff, established long-term relationships 8️⃣ summary: the lessons, the comfort that love teaches and gives you, in a series of 8 headcanons with each of these beautiful souls 8️⃣ wordcount: 2.4k total 8️⃣ warnings/tags: not edited, drabble-style hcs, enamoured simping activated, soft and focused on subtle signs of love, energies that people give 8️⃣ taglist: at the bottom of the hcs 8️⃣ a/n: this anniversary holds a lot of significance to me, and i want to celebrate ateez together. i am forever grateful that they are in my life, and are a source of joy and hope. happy ateez day everyone. much love~

hongjoong

matching outfits, both in subtle and in louder ways - sharing accessories like earrings and rings, or colour coordinating for events you are attending together - a quiet signal that even if you are not loud about it, you two belong together and are on the same wavelength

lyrics dedicated to you and to what you have been through as a couple - how you have evolved and what you have seen and experienced; evolution through musical genre and through musical complexity - nods to travels, movies, conversations…

adoring glances across the room, wide smiles and hearty laughter at the silliest jokes simply because they are inside jokes in the language you two invented

challenging one another, proposing new viewpoints and debating on creative projects and ways forward in a healthy manner, while being each other’s number one fans and supporters; you can count on one another’s honest opinion, open arms and mind

late night calls, or calls that run through the entire night where you two either work remotely, or first connect under the pretense of sharing something but end up updating, chatting away, calming your hearts

becoming the second voice of reason, counting on the other to support and be the clarity when one is feeling distressed or unable to make a quick call of judgement or decision

encouraging freedom - two people with their own dreams and goals, respectful of space and time and working to maintain this even in a relationship; a powerful dynamic where the sky's the limit, and even then, you find a way to go above and beyond

having clear priorities and plans that span years, facing the future side by side and mapping it out against both individual and couple variables

seonghwa

feeling comfortable and safe to discuss feelings, fears, hopes, dreams, curled up on the couch together, drama left frozen on the television screen; bodies intertwined, hearts beating steadily, calmly, in a world built for two; deep conversations turning into pivotal moments, not being afraid to reveal and expose yourself to the other, being accepted and facing inner turmoil no longer alone

exploring and introducing each other to your interests and passions, learning and growing together, and in turn forming an even stronger connection through shared references, media, jokes; knowing each other's preferences and orders by heart, wordlessly sharing any meal with smiles on your faces and knowing what to send to one another when physically apart

order in a comfortable silence when doing chores or walking side by side in places you both love and cherish, wonderful chaos when both of you let go and play like kids again; reconnecting with all versions of yourselves and finding each one precious

encouraging each other to accept yourselves but also to expand horizons and to love both the world and the small things - operating by the “no harm in trying” principle

seeing each person as a universe, and other people, things, interests and events in their life as stars that form beautiful constellations - linking what is previously seen as disparate and making a new direction to develop into

making playlists for different moods, activities to suit the season, planning evenings days and mornings and then living through them with a serene enjoyment; reevaluating and rebuilding habits, finding fun in frustrations

returning home be it to an actual house or through the phone, talking about everything and nothing, and encouraging one another to try your best while maintaining a healthy balance

a safe space, because you are each other's home and no matter what you will be there to listen, to speak, to write the next lines in the poem of life together

yunho

reading each other's emotions and wordlessly showing support, be it through a touch of the hand or through the offering of a favourite snack or a kind word

playful competition, racing one another to the front door of your home, laughter ringing in the air; seeing the brighter side of the world together, and reminding one another that it exists when the going gets tough

spontaneous getaway to a beloved holiday destination, healing and relaxing together away from commotion and chaos - finding peace in quiet conversation and taking flights or drives as an opportunity to reflect, to free oneself and to simply focus on the journey itself

walking in nature, holding hands and listening to birdsong and shrill cries of cicadas - valuing the process of grounding oneself and listening to inner thoughts, beliefs and feelings

road trips and long walks, exploring new sights and making every place a shared new memory and a precious moment; moving beyond a set “base” when it comes to home, and treating the world like your home to find the place that you both truly belong to

remembering even the smallest events and details from years ago and holding them as invaluable, celebrating anniversaries by revisiting representations of said memories

quoting your favourite lines from films or video games, re-enacting scenes together and crafting impromptu performances in the living room before collapsing in adorable giggles

finding the world in one another’s eyes, catching each other off guard in the best way with sweet comments and with absent-minded touches of the hand, reassurance that even when your mind is elsewhere, you have an anchor, you have a person who you are racing… not against, but with

yeosang

perseverance - in times where you face trouble, a hurdle, a tumble downwards, you reach out to help the other to stand up again, and take pride in having gone through so much and now having that special someone with whom nothing is as scary

surrounding yourselves with kindness and positive energy - having a home that is safe, secure and reflects both of you perfectly; gradually and subtly learning about each other’s hidden parts, adoring them all the same

learning to accept help, and leaning on one another when difficulties arise; openly communicating and being able to voice concerns and questions - feeling comfortable to do so

playful banter and witticisms, knowing when to humble one another but also when to lift one another up; being able to non-verbally communicate when in larger groups

appreciating one another’s efforts and valuing improvements, hard work, acts of service that have been done discreetly

walking huddled under a large umbrella to your favourite cafe, ordering ice cream and drifting to the seats that have become yours and his; speaking quietly, recollecting the happenings of the day, calmly making puzzle pieces connect into a bigger picture

finding comfort in routine; one that starts as a schedule and slowly becomes automatic; you two moving in one space like in a fluid dance, clockwork from one task to another

playing not to win but for the sake of spending time together - becoming an unbeatable duo in matches and subconsciously knowing each other’s style and approach when it comes to both communication and video games

san

reading excerpts from books and poetry aloud to one another in the late evening, bundled up together in a warm throw blanket

learning your favourite songs, humming or singing them to you as you slow dance in the kitchen - monologues and confessions said through music and little gestures of affection, though in a private space, the words spill and you are wrapped in reassurance

hand on the small of your back, a subtle reminder of how even in the busiest spaces, in places where you feel like you are fading away, there is always someone beside you, ready to support you and someone who cares

recounting stories from childhood, talking about home together and building a new one, first through conversation, then in reality; seeing the picture of you and him as clear as day

headpats, nuzzling, ruffling of the hair, sleepy embraces in the early morning that transition into a hand on the thigh, a soft brush of the upper arm, a move of a strand of hair from your face, a stolen kiss, or simply sitting so close that you almost become one

learning to set up healthy boundaries, barriers and principles, and respecting each other’s - having unspoken unbreakable rules that lead to healthy communication and mutual support, and supporting one another in finding limits externally and enforcing them for the wellbeing of oneself

living passionately, and taking each day into the heart to experience it fully; taking the time to evaluate all of its elements and taking what serves you best while still appreciating things that might not be as valuable

remembering your roots and loving your origins, being proud of your individuality and of what an who you represent; finding or strengthening the connections with who you are and who you want to be, separately and together

mingi

waiting to watch a movie or a show together - watching it twice because you were analysing every moment and chatted away, intrigued by one another’s minds

dispelling each other’s concerns and worries when it comes to perception, communication and achievement - being able to whittle down to exact doubts and unravelling them until a smile forms on your beloved’s face

checking in on each other’s emotional capacity and learning to ask for signs when the other might overflow - encouraging minimising the bottling up of emotions and dedicating time to talk things through

spending time getting lost in history and in innovation, expanding intellectual horizons by visiting events, exhibitions, talks to see all that the creatives and innovators of the world are conjuring - pondering all you have witnessed together

giving each other courage, hyping each other up and loving every colour - inventing cheers and chants, secret handshakes, signals, making up songs about random things on the spot and their recital becoming a tradition

admiring differences, and studying them with a beautiful curiosity; not fearing to ask the ‘why’, the ‘how’ continuously because there is no limit to wonder

comfort in introspection and self-discovery; encouraging exploration of the self and of own interests, but always reconnecting, forming a network of possibility between thought, learnings, ideas

going with the flow, and bringing the flow to each other - sometimes, transition into a new landscape or environment is easy, other times, you need a helping hand; both of you are ready to lead the other into a new world and will wait for as long as necessary

wooyoung

family, the feeling of belonging - “you are my person and I will fight for you”; strong circle of trusted people, a network that you can rely on and of course, the strong bond between you

even when alone, you are not lonely; the feeling that even when you have to be apart for some time, you are still there with and for one another, one call away; even though you would be playful, you are always emotionally available, and past the teasing is boundless love

adventures to places far away, still home because it is the two of you travelling; exploring with an open mind and daring one another to step outside of comfort zones, to take the leap, to bloom

candlelit dinners after a cooking turned jam session - dancing with spatulas in hand, yelling out the lyrics to any and all songs, learning them on the fly; long stares and cheeky jokes exchanged across the table, dressing up for no reason except to impress each other

love that expands past the two of you - your friend groups, your families, pets… the social landscape is boundless and you trust each other to navigate it smoothly - permanent plus one, double trouble, partners in crime, the best team

gentle scolding to take care of yourselves, prioritising each other’s health and wellbeing, keeping each other out of harm’s way while retaining a fiery spirit

healing from past insecurities through words and actions - nurturing beauty that is both internal and external, and giving each other hope in every tomorrow through warm smiles and even warmer hugs

not being afraid to stand up for one another, for what you believe in, for the greater good - lover and fighter do go hand in hand after all, and lead to a respectful relationship where adventure and a blazing passion are still very much alive

jongho

evenings spent at a noraebang you now frequent, singing songs that have grown to describe your relationship, the months, years you have known one another; serenades you dedicate, classics you belt in a duet

retaining the air of pleasant mystery until both of you break into a grin and melt into a soft laughter; knowing glint in the eyes, you do not need to say much, for your actions speak volumes

being considerate, making space and in this way, turning home into an ideal, stable equilibrium where company feels natural, essential, even if all you do during the day is sit in different rooms - there is bliss in knowing that in that other room is the one you love and the one who loves you

walks in the park, stopping to sit on a bench in a particularly scenic spot overlooking a pond, under the trees - reminding each other to pause and to look around you, enjoying the moment and appreciating how much has changed, and for the better

beauty and love in order - from how you like your coffee, to what you prefer to wear and how, to how you carry yourself and to what side of your loved one you prefer to walk, these small points all make you who you are and are details that make your story

praising and joining in a little bit of mischief - you know you have to act a certain way, but sometimes, nothing feels better than letting go and playing a cute prank or a game

noticing the tiniest changes in one another, and either raising them as a question, or complimenting them depending on what it is - well-attuned, responsive, kind, attentive

sometimes, you might support different teams, or do so simply for harmless fun, but at the end of the day you find the same goals to score, the same game to place, and will always back each other up and assist towards great successes

8️⃣ taglist: @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @hongthoven @cqndiedcherries @uwuheeseungie @cheollipop @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @mingigoo @michel-angelhoe @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 @preciouswoozi @wooyoungjpg @nebulousbookshelf @wowie-hockey @hongjoongs-patience @ssaboala @jaehunnyy @kitten4sannie @maddkitt @lightinyreads @ren-junwrld @pyeonghongrie-main @marsstarxhwa @pocketjoong-reads @alyszaen @archivesummer @little-angel-k @yeooclock @yeonjunnie @asjkdk @lucky-cat-cafe @northerngalxy

#cromernet #k-labels #kflixnet #ateez x reader #ateez headcanons #ateez imagines #ateez fluff #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader #hongjoong fluff #seonghwa fluff #yunho fluff #yeosang fluff #san fluff #mingi fluff #wooyoung fluff #jongho fluff #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez au #kpop writers #kpop writing

[leviscolwill]

— dad!jude bellingham headcanons !

pairing: dad!jude bellingham x fem!reader

req: could you write dad!judebellingham ml <3

note: i tried writing headcanons because i feel like my writing is very 👎👎🍅🍅🍅 at the moment, i hope you'll like it still !! reblogs are VERY appreciated since the tags are in a silly goofy mood right now #useless 😝🤪

tag list: @ceofmercedes &lt;3

it's well established on judeblr that he is a girl dad, so girl dad it is

i think he would spiral a bit over the fact that you're growing a whole human being in you

he would say random shit like “no but do you feel her legs grow ?”

and you're like 😐😐😐 of course not

but the poor boy is just clueless 😪

he would always remind you of how you're the most beautiful woman on earth, even when you're crying your eyes out because ron fell off his chess piece in the philosopher's stone

now,, i think we're all well aware he would spoil your daughter rotten

getting her new clothes or new toys whenever he passes in front of a store because “she might need it one day”

but !! he would never let her turn into a “daddy i want a squirrel” kinda girl

you would both make sure she's very well mannered because he is very aware his parents' education played a big part in who he is today

i feel like being strict wouldn't be a problem for him either

yk being the eldest in his family, he wouldn't be swayed by your girl's pleading eyes when she acts wrong

he would 100% cry on her first day of pre-school (it's the cancer in him)

and he would try to drop her / pick her up from school as much as he possibly can with training and stuff

if you speak another language, you'd learn it to your daughter and use it to talk shit about jude 🤭

“have you seen what he wore today ?” “yeah daddy's shirt is very ugly”

in my case she would say quoicoubeh to him

i feel like he'd get so frustrated and start sulking amd pouting before your daughter reassures him

okayy bc it's spooky szn rn 😋

family matching costumes !! (call it corny 😡 i do not care)

monsters, disney characters or the adams family... he'd have soooo many ideas

he'd go trick or treating just to eat all the sweets

playfights with your daughter for their girl's attention

“it's my mommy !”

“oh yeah ? but mommy liked me before, so i'm the number one in her heart”

“it's not true ! mommy tell him he's a liar”

you can only roll your eyes because he really has beef with a whole child ???

but he's just a kid himself !!

everytime she gets to see uncle jobe she's overly happy

and jude would smack the back of his head when he says a bad word

(like he's not the one to curse at home yk 🙄)

is it a bad thing i think he would secretly hope your daughter has a bad dream so she'd have a good excuse to sleep in between you both ?

because he would

just to cuddle with her

then he regrets it when she wakes him up early in the morning

when she grows up he would be soooo invested in her school's dramas

like, actually asking for updates during dinner like he's dan from gossip girl

“what do you mean ben is dating his ex's best friend ?? he's such a di... bad person”

he'd be so gassed whenever she would wear his shirt (especially at school)

like you got all these clothes but chose this particular england shirt ? 🥹🥹

(as if half her wardrobe isn't his jerseys from every club he's been at)

(+ jerseys he exchanged with other players and signed jerseys by football legends)

he would sooo show her off to his teammates

“yeah my girl knows how to read now” 😎

and show every picture of her EVER

even the embarrassing ones

100% would introduce his friends as uncles

“say hi to uncle gio” (🫠)

now hear me out bc i think it's my favourite idea

he would totally look up hairstyles tutorials for your babygirl and try them out

once he gets the hang of it, he would never stop finding new ones

and since he doesn't have a sister, he would go to his mum for advice

on hair, but also girl stuff so he can pretend he already knows it all in front of you

you'd also go to his mum to advice tho, because being a parent (especially a mum) is never easy

and she would gladly share all of them with you

when you get into fights with jude your girl would always try to make it better

“dad says he's sorry”, “mum said she's not mad anymore”

of course you both know she's lying but somehow it always works ???

so your relationship is the prime example of what she's looking for when she grows up

and she secretly hopes she gets to love her s/o just like her parents love each other (too corny now ?)

anyways jude would treat you both like his little princesses, and he's so so so grateful he gets to live a lifetime with you two

or maybe more than two who knows 🚶‍♀️

#is it too messy ?? #or is it readable ? #is this too much ? #yeah probably #jude bellingham x reader #football x reader #jude bellingham one shot #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham blurb #jude bellingham #jude bellingham headcanons #football one shot #football fluff #football imagine #football headcanon

[cranberryjuice-posts]

I saw your story about the blind reader and I thought one where the reader is deaf this time? I like the drama but if you prefer it could just be something with anguish and a happy ending

YIPPEE‼️‼️

To be nothing with you

Pairings - Clarisse La rue x Fem! Daughter of Hecate! Deaf! Reader

An - am I writing this with reader being a Hecate kid bc I’m a Hecate kid yes and I will admit it every time 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

An pt2 - sign Language isn’t communicated in full complete sentences so like “are you going to the doctors tomorrow” would be like “you, doctors, tomorrow?” But with certian words like “You” or “can” you could always spell out if it’s necessary, So that’s how I’m gonna be writing (I have immediate Family who’s deaf so I understand a lot Abt sign language)

The breakup was for a good reason. You both just weren’t compatible. If that was the case how did you two always find yourselves drawn to eachother.

A perfect example would be tonight. You were sitting on the shore of the lake just taking in the scenery when you felt a familiar presence.

You looked to the side, finding the beautiful daughter of Ares beside you.

Clarisse made a few hand movements which you knew was sign language, she was asking ‘hearing aids?’. You nodded with a small smile, you always appreciated how she spent the time to learn sign language to communicate with you.

“Hey” clarisse leaned back on her hands.

“Hey?” You chuckled tilting your head in response. You had gone deaf a few years ago after an accident, being able to still hear with hearing aids was a blessing but without them you couldn’t hear a thing. “So.. what does the camp mean girl want with me hm? Trying to find a new kid to pick on” you teased lightly

Clarisse Rolled her eyes. “Yeah i came to bully one of the few Hecate kids in camp who I know damn well could curse me, I may be dumb—“

“You said it not me”

She gently shoved you making you laugh. “As i was saying, i May be dumb but I’m not that dumb— gods has anyone told you how annoying you are” she chuckled along side you.

“Yeah I’ve been informed” You grinned at her. It was nice with things like this, you knew clarisse always acted different around you which you didn’t mind. “So? What did you want”

Clarisse shrugged her shoulders “just wanted to see you”

There was a moment of silence, something you had grown to live with, the only sound near was the crashing of waves on the shore.

When you both were together, it hurt. Clarisse putting her pride before you, though you weren’t entirely innocent, any Time You argued you would take your hearing aids out for an entire day just to not talk to her.

You found yourself reaching out to clarisse, her following in suit. Your faces were close to the point you could feel her breath on your skin. You looked up at her soft brown eyes, it was like a silent agreement between you two.

She closed the gap by softly kissing you. Clarisse slid her hands down your waist and to your hips while gently grabbing your thighs. You found your hands trailing up her toned Arms and to her curly hair, locking your fingers in the hair while rubbing loving circles on her cheek.

It was always like this. You two would have a minute conversation before finding yourself making out with her.

You pulled away breathless from the kiss. clarisse shifted some before bringing her free hand up, softly tracing your lips. “You know.. your lips have always been the softest.” She admitted quietly. “Σ'αγαπώ” she whispered.

You closed your eyes not able to say the same, you knew If you did it would end badly just like last time. You sat up kissing her forehead. “See you soon ok”

You had done the math multiple times, but there was no solution. You two would never last.. if that was true then why did you feel like this

——

16 days.

That’s how many days you two avoided eachother.

Silena had confronted clarisse trying to tell her to talk to you but she couldn’t. Even when you showed up in her dreams she just couldn’t. She knew you loved her and herself on multiple occasions has been reminded how much she loves you.

But you just couldn’t work.

She promised herself that she wouldn’t put you through the hell of your relationship again, but now clarisse found herself breaking said Promise while standing in-front of the Hermes cabin thinking of a way to get your attention.

——

You were laying in your bed just looking up at the ceiling not being able to sleep. From the moonlight outside you saw a shadow moving at the window.

You walked over rubbing your eyes, once at the wall you saw clarisse standing outside. You opened the window and leaned out signing ‘grab hearing aids wait’.

She shook her head signing ‘no, wait’

You stopped confused you watched as the girl continued to sign, you smiled as it wasn’t the best and she messed up frequently but it was cute none the less.

‘We are not good together’ she started, you rolled your eyes and signed back ‘W O W, great start’

She gave you a sharp look before continuing ‘I love you, so please can we make it work’ clarisses face was calm, sweet and soft but you.. she knew the answer by your lack of movement.

‘No’ is all you signed back.. after a few moments you returned back to the windowsill with your hearing aids now in. “Clarisse we both know you won’t put me before trying to prove to your father that your the best”

“That’s—“

“The truth.” Your tone was flat. “We broke up for a reason, and we’re staying that way,.. go to your cabin, it’s late” you stepped back to close the window. She grabbed your hand stopping you. “Please.. it hurt when we were something but it’s worse to be nothing with you”

You softly took clarisses hand, kissing her scarred knuckles before pushing her hand out. “I’ll see you soon..”

You loved the daughter of ares and her the same to you. But you both loved other things before each-other.

——

#lesbian #wlw #clarisse la rue #clarisse pjo #clarisse my beloved #butch clarisse #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse x you #clarisse larue #clarisse x reader #percy jackson show #pjo show #pjo fanfic #percy jackson fanfiction #percy jackson

[bioethicists]

responding to this with my shitty redaction because i'm not comfortable posting obvious bait with people's names in them (particularly dead names) but i just wanted to point out the ways in which this ask is prototypical bait written to purposefully generate drama or controversy (idk if this is in a kiwifarms trolling with right wing motives sense or an 'i love drama' person) by trying to appeal to online leftist culture/the fear of being 'problematic'. i see ppl fall for this constantly + i need people to start learning to recognize the signs instead of either engaging or using this as evidence that leftists are stupid/petty/hypocritical (which many of us are, but in much less amusing ways, unfortunately)

the implication that there is a single founder of the "neurodiversity movement" + that evoking this movement at all (which i don't do + i think it's actually pretty evident that my politics are distinct from the much more bioessentialist politics of those who prefer that term, which is part of what led me to conclude that this is a copypasta) is supporting the founder. tracing a broad social concept to a single individual, then disparaging that individual as morally unsound (by evoking other explosive, petty pieces of discourse, like baeddalism + transandrophobia) in order to provoke doubt, fear or anger. demonstrates a hope that leftists will flinch away from anything associated with anyone 'problematic' without applying any critical thinking.

misrepresenting complex events (or fabricating them entirely- idk if these things happened + i simply couldn't care enough to find out) in a way that hits the pressure points of performative activism (she's being mean to an autistic person! other people of color agree with me! this other person is anti physically disabled people!) while also betraying reactionary opinions through language use/implications (claiming to care about 'transandrophobia' yet deadnaming someone? claiming to care about specific events at specific autism conferences but using terms like "severely autistic"? saying you have spoken to "Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, American Indians" lmao did you type this out based on census checkboxes from the 70s?). the author of this ask is clearly not a member of the activist communities they claim to be from because they accidentally slip into the speech conventions + opinions of a kiwifarms/4chan loser who does a lot of hatereading. this one did a good job of hitting the bingo card of divisive intracommunity issues rn- great research skills, bud! put them to better use <3

reframing reactionary beliefs using leftist concepts. this works because many of us do not have a foundational politic outside of "well, i want to be good, so I'm going to support the things that other people i trust say are good". which doesn't make you bad (there is no good or bad! learn this now + quick, if you really want to play a part in building a better world) but it makes you easy to manipulate + unlikely to be capable of meaningful change. notice that the claims this ask is asserting are, at their core, "people make up microaggressions to cause problems when really they could easily suck it up" + "people fake disabilities and being trans for attention". these are reactionary concerns, no matter how artfully they are dressed in social justice language. kiwifarms in particular was very, very good at this- they loved finding the people they stalked to be racist, homophobic, ableist, etc, not because they thought those things were wrong (it was their hobby to be these things!) but because they delighted in identifying hypocrisy, stirring up drama, + destroying people's reputations.

this is hard to explain bcuz i blacked out the names, but if you have a passing familiarity with fascist/reactionary online spaces, particularly the history of kiwifarms, you will know that reactionaries have their own 'pet leftists', just like we have our 'pet fascists' (shapiro, alex jones, tucker carlson, etc). that is, ppl they obsessively follow, harass, + scrutinize + come to believe are representative of everything that we believe. these ppl are rarely ppl who are actually prominent in our online spaces but online reactionaries often believe we are just as obsessed with these people as they are, but as unquestioned paragons of virtue + brilliance. namedropping these ppl is often an accidental tip of the hat, particularly when the ppl aren't on tumblr, haven't been a topic of community discussion for quite some time, or run in a different circle than us (reactionaries don't understand that there are actually thousands of leftist social groups which have very little overlap with some others- pronouns in bio does not mean someone knows or cares about contrapoints, for instance)

tl;dr this ask is a fantastic example of the rhetorical features bait that someone might actually take seriously.

[tiredlilguy]

The Flags HC's

(that nobody asked for... but i love them and I have no where to put these) note: these are just general hc's :P if you want me to make other ones lmk!

Pianoman: - his ass cannot play piano, when people asks if he can because of his name, he changes the subject because he feels embarrassed - is the oldest sibling in his family - since he's a perfectionist, he's also kind of his own worst critic (can be in a really shitty mood if he's alone with his thoughts for too long) - his hair is a result of vitiligo - is an anxious person, but somehow his anxiety goes away when he's with The Flags - whenever he handles something physically using his hands, he's very cautious and tends to treat whatever is in his hands gingerly (like if he's given a gift, he will gently hold it in his hands instead of just taking it like normal) - has naturally shaky hands (i want to give him a big hug and kiss :( ) - going along with his hands, they're very thin, so his gloves are thick enough to where you don't really know what they look like underneath - has a really shitty sense of humor and will laugh at that one meme video with the bread falling on it's side - has defined canines and it shows if he opens his mouth or smiles

Lippman: - gets to know all of the celebrity drama before it gets out in the media: sometimes he uses it for blackmail or just tells the others and they all become a little gossip group (it's mostly just him, iceman, and chuuya though...) - he can make really good tea, like knows every little detail that comes with making tea: not leaving out a single step so you can get the best flavor out of the tea - polyglot, he once had to learn english for a role that he had and then proceeded to teach himself any language he thought was cool (sometimes mumbles in a different language under his breathe to mess with chuuya) - flirts with Pianoman a lot, says it's for fun, but he might have a little crush - wears that really dramatic silk robe with feathers and drags on the floor, it's either white or baby blue - paints his nails and will paints Chuuya's nails sometimes to practice, Chuuya says he's only doing it because he's his superior, but secretly enjoys it - unintentionally fixes The Flags outfits or hair, mostly Chuuya: like he'll adjust Iceman's collar if it's standing up, or he'll comb Chuuya's hair back into a nicer ponytail if it gets messy throughout the day

Iceman: - has a niece, and is the BEST uncle to her, likes to spoil her and will literally do anything for her (i read this from a fic and i can't stop thinking about it) - loves hearing gossip despite not talking that much - insomniac, spends most of his nights listening to his records with whiskey unless he has a job to do - plays his records really loud, but his listening room is sound proof so he can hear every little detail in the music - likes records, but he actually prefers live bands instead, thinks records are classy - gifts Chuuya records if he notices that Chuuya is singing a song to himself, usually tries to find the song and gets Chuuya that record of the album - is slowly becoming deaf, the only person that knows is Pianoman and Lippman, and he's slowly teaching The Flags sign language when they're on missions with him (he'll say it's because he wants to be quiet) (he won't admit it, but he will miss not being able to hear the others banter in the background anymore) - doesn't actually care about his ego/reputation at all, he's pretty confident in his assassinations, but if he fails a job, he'll just sigh and smoke a cigarette and move on - does not style his hair, he wakes up in the morning and moves it around a little bit and that's his hair for the day - he can't see out of his right eye that has the scar, but when he feels invoked with an emotion, he'll open that eye - notices small details... like extremely small details: one's that you won't even be thinking about; probably remembers what people like when they mention they like it once, knows when someone gets a haircut or they change colognes

Doc: - silly guy (canon) - he judges people's fashion taste despite not wearing any sort of outfit himself: likes to give pointers to Lippman about how to style his shirt or will judge Chuuya's strange outfits; will put on a good outfit if he's feeling like it - is very good at video games, but he doesn't really play them in his free time, but once Chuuya offered to play a video game with him and Doc beat his ass (Chuuya is still salty over an old Mario Cart match) - avoids walking long distance otherwise he'll start to feel tired, Albatross offers to take Doc everywhere - really good at darts... like his accuracy is scarily amazing, but guess you can't expect less from a doctor with his credentials - his way of showing affection is by being... very uncomfortably close to someone and then waiting to see if they're going to react, if they acknowledge his presence he smiles and then just walks away - very fidgety when he's doing something that isn't his job, will often fidget with something in his hand like a paper clip or rubber band, but suddenly that all goes away when it involves work - youngest sibling in his family... idk he gives me that energy

Albatross: - uses text emojis like ":D" and ":O" and so on; it does not matter who he is texting and he can and will accidentally text that to Mori on the phone (then proceeds to get lectured heavily by Pianoman) - answers his phone/messages immediately the moment that he gets them - can and will talk his ass off for hours on end, sometimes he does it to annoying Chuuya, but sometimes Chuuya actually wants to listen to it all - metalhead, this is canon actually i'm asagiri - gives the best hugs, like he gives big bear hugs; greets all of the Flags with hugs despite they're reactions - human heater, is always warm and it doesn't matter what season it is... he's just strangely warm all of the time (sometimes Doc sits next to him during the winter or if he's cold because he gets cold easily, and is a lot thinner than the rest of them) - openly bi, like he talks about it all of the time if he finds a man attractive

" I mean I know this man is our next target, but his ass looks nice in this file photo- " " Albatross." " Sorry.

-has freckles on his cheeks - has heterochromia, his eyes are blue and red

Chuuya: - has freckles... like everywhere, used to cover them up with makeup when he was younger and around The Flags, but then forgot one time and then Lippman said that it fit him and he stopped covering them up - can pick up any instrument he finds and owns a couple of guitars - huge audiophile and will judge every pair of headphones or recorde/cd/speakers that he's given; the record player in his house is very extra and over 2000 dollars - sings to himself when he's doing chores, or if he's playing music in the background, he will dance and sing while sweeping the floor - despite being musical, his dancing tends to be very clumsy (was once caught by Albatross and he made fun of him for a whole week) - can speak French and will cuss in French without thinking when he gets annoyed - knows all of the Mafia gossip, but no one knows he's a gossip-y kind of person... he knows everything about everyone, often finds himself hearing two different sides of one story - shopaholic (he cannot close his closet door anymore because the door is broken because it's so crowded in there)

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd the flags #the flags #chuuya nakahara #piano man #lippman bsd #iceman bsd #doc bsd #albatross bsd #piano man bsd #stormbringer #bsd stormbringer #bsd hcs #bsd headcanons #headcanon #mono writes

[stargazer-sims]

The Art of Redemption

(part 14)

previous // next // story index

—————

Eden's cousin leaves halfway through the group class.

For students Eden's age, most of the caregivers don't hang around to watch the class. Stan's grandson Marek and three little girls Nikolai doesn't know are also in the class and they don't have any adult caregivers present either, so Eden being there without an adult family member isn't odd from Nikolai's point of view. It's the fact that the cousin would just get up and disappear before class was over that unsettles him, particularly because now class actually is over and another one will be starting soon, and there's no sign of anyone coming to collect Eden.

For his part, Eden doesn't seem bothered. Once he has his skates off, he happily climbs onto the bench and plops himself down next to Nikolai with a cheerful, "So, what did you think? Everybody in our class is really good, right?"

Eden is so tiny, the toes of his boots aren't touching the floor, and Nikolai has to remind himself that the boy is only a few months away from turning eleven. He smiles. "Everyone in your class is really good, but I'd say you and that red-haired girl are the best."

"Oh, that's Everleigh," Eden says. "She totally is the best. She wants to do pairs when she gets older, and she has a big crush on my friend Marek, but he thinks girls are gross. I like girls, but sometimes I think I like boys too, but actually I don't want to date anybody because I have to think about my career first. Are you dating anybody?"

"That's a lot, Eden. Are you always this talkative?"

"No," Eden says, casually swinging his little legs. "But, I like you."

"To answer your question, I'm not dating anybody. I'm married."

Eden nods sagely. "My dad says marriage is sacred, but I don't know about that. I think it just means you have to pay a lot of bills and complain about things like having to change the oil in your car or somebody leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor."

Nikolai laughs. "Not going to lie, I like your definition better. It's more accurate, from my experience."

"Does your wife complain about you leaving towels on the floor?"

"Yeah, and sometimes I complain about her doing it too. She complains about my cat shedding, and I complain about how long it takes her to get ready to go anywhere."

His and Anya's problems aren't nearly that trivial or innocent, but he's not about to tell a ten year old child that his marriage is in shambles and he's all but made up his mind to ask his wife to agree to a divorce. This is assuming he can work up the courage, of course. He doubts Anya will make it easy for him in any case, and he's not looking forward to the confrontation.

"I'm never getting married," Eden declares.

"Good choice," says Nikolai.

"Yeah. Yi-Joon says I'm probably going to be too high-maintenance for anyone to handle anyway, but y'know what? I'm okay with that."

"Yi-Joon?" Nikolai inquires.

"My stupid cousin," Eden clarifies. "He came here from South Korea last summer to stay with us for a year and learn English. He's so annoying. All he does besides go to language school is watch K-dramas and talk to girls on the phone and go to expensive coffee places. I don't think he even likes sports."

"We aren't all going to like the same things," Nikolai says. "Life would be kind of boring if we were all into the same stuff, don't you think? Our differences are what make us interesting."

"Maybe, if people respected what other people were into."

"Do you respect what your cousin is into?"

"He can like K-dramas if he wants to. I don't like them, but I don't try to stop him from watching them, and I don't make fun of him for it."

"That's all anyone should reasonably ask for."

"I think so too, but it's like I'm asking too much when I want people to respect what I like. I want Yi-Joon to stop making fun of me about skating. And my parents... they don't even get that It's not just a hobby. I really want to do this. Like, to be a real athlete."

"You want to know something?" Nikolai says. "My parents don't get it either. They've always supported me, but I'm not sure they've ever really understood my love for skating."

"At least they supported you," says Eden. "My parents want me to stop skating."

"Yeah, so I heard."

Nikolai glances down at the ice, where Beth-Anne has just returned and is now setting up her orange cones for the next class, which is a group of preschoolers. A different group than the one Gabriel Torres is in, he'd learned. Beth-Anne has two preschool groups, and this morning on the way to the rink she told him she's hoping that he'll be able to take over teaching one of them by autumn. He wonders if he will be.

"You know what I'm worried about?" Eden is saying.

"What is it?"

"I'm a kid. I'm not allowed to decide anything important. If my parents decide I have to stop skating, I'm gonna have to, and by the time I'm old enough to decide anything for myself, it's gonna be too late." He sighs, sounding far older than his ten years. "If Beth-Anne can't make them understand, my dream is basically dead. My parents are gonna kill it, and if that happens I don't know what I'm going to do with my life."

There are probably a thousand different responses Nikolai could make to this. He could say there's life beyond skating and that Eden's too young to stress about what to do with the rest of his life, or he could just offer some platitude about trying not to worry. But, he realizes he doesn't want to say any of that, because Eden is right.

If Eden's parents make him quit skating now, by the time he has the autonomy to make his own choices, it will be too late to be competitive in the way he clearly wants to be. Nikolai recognizes Eden's passion for the sport and his drive to succeed. It's the same energy and intensity Nikolai had; the same obsession that carried him to six top-three finishes at the World Championships, to his two Worlds gold medals, right up to the moment when he crash-landed in Taiwan.

No, it didn't end there, whispers a small, insistent voice in his mind. You still love the sport that much, and you can still succeed in it, just in a different way.

He turns to fully face Eden, who's starting up at him expectantly. "You know how I said I'd like to be your coach some day?"

"Yeah," Eden says.

"I meant that."

"I believed you," Eden tells him. "But, what's that got to do with my future if my parents make me give up skating? If I'm not skating, what'll I need a coach for?"

"Exactly," Nikolai says.

Eden looks perplexed. "This isn't helping."

"Don't worry," Nikolai says. "I am going to help you."

"How?"

"Your parents are worried about you getting hurt, aren't they?"

"Yeah," Eden confirms. "Like, all of a sudden, for some reason. It's not like I just started doing jumps or something. I could do a waltz jump when I was six and I did my first single jump when I was seven, and I fell loads of times before I got it right. My parents have seen me fall a bunch of times, but they never seemed too worried about it until this January or so."

"Maybe because it never occurred to them before that a fall could completely change your life."

"What do you mean?"

Nikolai gestures down at his leg. "I mean, it could literally change your life. I'm never going to compete again because I seriously hurt myself when fell at the Four Continents back in January."

"Wait..." Eden frowns, his delicate brows scrunching together in concentration. "You got hurt in January? Do you think my parents know anything about that?"

"I don't know," Nikolai says. "Your parents and I have never met. Do they watch competitions on TV or read sports news online?"

"They watch competitions with me sometimes, but I don't know if they watch stuff by themselves or look at anything on the internet. But... you don't think they're trying to make me stop skating because one person they don't even know got hurt, do you? 'Cause like, that's kind of stupid."

"To tell you the truth, I have no idea why they're trying to make you stop," Nikolai admits. "All I know is, somebody has to convince them that it's not a good idea."

"Somebody... like you?"

"Yeah, that's kind of what I had in mind."

"Really? You'd really do that for me? You don't even know me very well yet."

"Not yet, but I'd like us to get to know each other. Besides, you've got way too much talent to throw away your opportunities. Plus, I've seen you on the ice and it doesn't take a genius to know how happy you are when you're skating and how much you love it."

"I do love it," Eden says. "If skating was a person, I'd probably marry it."

"I thought you said you're not getting married."

"I'd make an exception for skating," Eden says. "You know, 'cause I'd want us to live happily ever after with all our medals."

"And you wouldn't complain about wet towels on the floor, or damp, stinky skate stockings?"

Eden giggles. "Maybe a little bit about the stockings. They do get pretty gross. Beth-Anne says when I get a little older, I won't have to wear them any more. She says I can just put my bare feet in my skates if I want to."

"That's pretty gross too, honestly," Nikolai says. "Trust me, I know. But, you'll be able to feel your edges better with nothing on your feet. That'll be important when you start competing."

"If I start competing."

"When," Nikolai repeats.

Eden hesitates for a beat, but then looks up to meet Nikolai's eyes and echoes. "When."

"Good," Nikolai praises him. "You have to believe in getting what you want. That's part of how you succeed."

"You're already coaching me," Eden says, sounding a little amazed. "You really did mean it."

"I'm not..." Nikolai begins, but then quickly realizes Eden isn't wrong.

How many talks has he had with Stan and Beth-Anne over the years about things only tangentially related to skating? Coaching is more than helping an athlete perfect his technical skills. It's also about helping him with his self-confidence and his overall attitude. It's about being a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a teacher about life as well as sport, a mentor, a confidant, a friend, and sometimes a disciplinarian. Beth-Anne has done all that for him and she's still doing it, and the thought that he's already able to pay her kindness and wisdom forward fills him with an emotion that feels like a mixture of astonishment and pride.

He smiles and offers, "You know what they say. Practice makes perfect."

Eden returns the smile. "I think you're going to be a super great coach, Nikolai."

"Thanks," he says.

"When my parents come to pick me up, you should tell them you're going to be my coach."

"I don't think—"

"Yeah, you should! You want to do it, and you said it's important to believe in getting what you want."

Nikolai grins. "So, you're obviously paying attention."

"I'm a great student," Eden says. "Anyway, the way I see it, you can't be a coach without a student, and Beth-Anne already said I'm gonna need a different coach when I get to Junior division, so I think we have to help each other get what we want."

"Okay," Nikolai says. "I'll talk to your parents when they come to get you, but maybe leave the strategy to me for now, all right?"

"Okay," Eden agrees. "This has got to work, though! With you and Beth-Anne both talking to them, they have to change their minds!"

Nikolai has to concede that Eden's enthusiasm is infectious, and he wants to be as optimistic as his potential future student, but he has the unfortunate reality of experience looming over his shoulder. He hopes the parents can be convinced to let their son continue skating, but he's enough of a realist to know that it may take more than the opinion of a stranger to sway them.

"Like I said before," he tells Eden. "I can't make any promises beyond promising to do my best."

Eden reaches over and pats his hand. "I believe in you."

Unexpectedly, Nikolai feels a lump in his throat. He barely knows this kid, but for some reason he already feels a connection with him.

Is this how Beth-Anne felt about me that first day? he wonders. He files the idea away so he can ask her about it later.

His very next thought is, I cannot let this child down.

He has no clue how he's going to do it, but somehow he has to make Eden's parents understand what's at stake. It's not just competitions and medals. It's Eden's well-being, his sense of purpose. His raison d'être, as Anya's coach Isabelle might say.

Nikolai remembers how he'd felt, hearing the doctors in Taiwan saying that he'd never skate again. To say his very soul had been crushed wouldn't be enough. It'd been as if his entire world shattered into a million pieces around him. He'd barely been able to survive that, and maybe he's not completely out of the proverbial woods yet. If it's this difficult for an adult, he shudders to think of what losing something so important would do to a young boy like Eden.

And what sort of second chance would Eden get? Unlike Nikolai, he doesn't have a new opportunity waiting for him to transition into.

Nikolai recognizes he's lucky. Coaching is a natural progression for him, especially with the knowledge that he'll be able to return to the ice soon and with Beth-Anne ready and willing to train him. It all became more tangible when his doctor here told him that not only would he make a full recovery but that he'd still be able to skate. His aching heart had swelled with hope at that news.

Now, it's growing again with a new surge of determination. He wants to succeed for Eden, but even more so for himself. The future doesn't seem as bleak and scary any more, and he wants more than anything to make it evolve into a scenario in which he isn't merely settled and unafraid, but happy, thriving and fearless once again.

#writing #the art of redemption #theartofredemption #nikolai pavlenko #eden seong #stargazersims

[chiveburger]

I like twinkling watermelon, but I've definitely skipped a fair share of the drama... a lot of the scenes around eunyu and eungyeol, or basically anything that's not eungyeol and his parents, or yichan and cheongah I have not wanted to watch. not to say the drama is bad, but the reason I like this drama is for those interconnecting relationships. I especially love scenes with cheongah. her character is so gentle, and being able to see her coming out of her shell and knowing that she becomes eungyeol's mom and lives such a life with so much love in the future makes her arc feel very special. she loves yichan in a way that's sincere and heartfelt, and even her confession to him doesn't seem out of character for her. cheongah grew up in insolation and never had the means to express herself but she wanted to learn sign language to make friends and build new bridges. seeing eungyeol give her a voice and then her reaching out to him when she wanted to use it to communicate... man, show me more of that please.

#i know its not over but i need more cheongah in the last like 6 episodes #twinkling watermelon #borger diary #borger watch

[mxtxfanatic]

Because I saw that 7seas released the first volume, I'm very curious of what you thought about the disabled tyrant's pet palm fish? I wasn't sure what your tag for it is, assuming you've posted about it here. If you have any thoughts I'd love to hear them since, as of this moment in time, I'm planning on picking up a copy next time I get the chance.

Of course you pick the novel I was conflicted about promoting LOL

So I read it and mostly liked it, like, a majority of the book is comedic and engaging. The beginning really gives a Cinderella-esque romance along with some mild court drama. Definitely a light read that won’t leave you too anxious or in suspense.

However I feel like ableism is baked into the plot in a way that becomes unbearably inescapable around the last 2-300 pages. It sat with me pretty unpleasantly that that love interest’s disability (mutism) is never accommodated in the entire story, not even by the people who love him in the setting, not even by his transmigrating husband who I know for damn sure knows sign language exists even if he doesn’t know it. They could have found some way to communicate with him that didn’t involve him mouthing words, writing, or having people just learn to read his micro-expressions, of which only one person can do so. I was willing to table these reservations because, despite the story pretending like disability accommodations don’t exist, the people who love this character never make him feel bad or less for it. Then those last few hundred pages hit…

Spoilers for some plot stuff: So the biggest issue for me that tipped the ableism into unbearable emerges with the sideplot of the main couple trying for another kid. MC wants a girl because they already have 4 boys (accidental quadruplets), only to discover that LI has been secretly taking contraceptives to prevent another pregnancy for fear that any pregnancy could result in a mute child, as he thinks his mutism is genetic. The couple end up having a good talk where the LI opens up about his insecurities about having a child like him because he knows how lonely it was growing up with his disability. But instead of turning this into a moment where MC could point out that their hypothetical disabled child wouldn’t be lonely because they would have a whole family who loved them—including a parent with the same disability—that LI should not have been isolated because of his disability, that he was the one who was failed not the failure, and that he (and their hypothetical disabled child) will be supported from now on, the author… has the MC agree and stop trying for a kid… Complete missed opportunity and waste of time in the long run, because not long after this it gets revealed that LI’s mutism isn’t genetic, which is why their 4 sons have no speech issues, and they go on happily to have their daughter. End Spoilers.

If you didn’t read the spoilers, then long story short: a side plot with eventual major implications for the main story arc treats preventing the birth of potentially disabled children as a reasonable thing because “those children will be isolated, otherwise,” while neglecting the idea that people—PARTICULARLY LOVED ONES OF THE DISABLED—can simply accommodate said disability. The story simply pretends as if accommodations for mutism do not exist in material reality or even as a concept.

#fireandgrimstone #had that whole baby sideplot not happened #i would’ve just trigger warned in my post #but because it became such a *major* plot point #it’s not something that can be given benefit of the doubt #this story really did not need to be about disability #if this was how it was gonna be treated #also those last 200 pages feel pretty meh plot-wise #like the story would feel great and complete without it #everything after feels very rambly #disabled tyrant’s pet palm fish

[lunarsis]

HAPPY ENDING, SAME ENDING ONCE AGAIN ˒ 𝐢. you must know ,

BIRTH NAME ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀takahashi aruna ❨ 高橋 愛月 ❩

ENGLISH NAME ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀alizée

NICKNAMES ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀kitkat , minmin , moonlight

BIRTHDAY ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀october 24 , 2002 ❨ scorpio ❩

BIRTH PLACE ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀osaka , japan

ETHNICITY ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀japanese

KNOW FAMILY ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀mom , older brother ❨ 1999 ❩ , younger sister ❨ 2004 ❩ , younger brother ❨ 2008 ❩

LANGUAGES ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀japanese , korean , english , chinese

ME WITHOUT YOU, SO WHAT I CAN DO? ˒ 𝐢𝐢. personality & look check ,

⸻  𝐚.  mirror , mirror , in the sky ,

FACE CLAIM ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀uchinaga ‘ giselle ’ aeri of aespa

HEIGHT ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀1 m 63 ❨ 5'4" ❩

BODY MODIFICATIONS ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀standard lobes , industrial & tragus right ear , daith & helix left ear

⸻  𝐛.  tell me who i am ?

UP ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀bold , calm , determined , fast learner , generous , hardworking , honest , grounded , resourceful , versatile , thoughtful , confident .

DOWN ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀bad-tempered , stubborn , troublemaker , impatient , nervous , secretive , pessimistic , rebellious , sarcastic .

MOON'S ADDS ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀although extremely reserved and intimidating, aruna is a girl with her heart on her sleeve — even if it's a part of her personality she wants to keep hidden. preferring to remain the colder half of the duo, she does her best to hide the tender smiles on the corners of her lips. nevertheless, she remains a complicated girl : she loves being at the center of dramas and never hesitates to do whatever she pleases — even if it means breaking the rules.

EMPTY REPERTOIRES, STOP IT, STOP IT ˒ 𝐢𝐢𝐢. professionalism is the key ,

STAGE NAME⠀⠀ : ⠀⠀minori ❨ 미노리 ❩

LABEL(S) ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀be:lift lab

PROFESSION ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀idol

GROUP ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀lunarsis

POSITION ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀main rapper, lead dancer, visual, maknae

INDIVIDUAL FANDOM ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀wolfies

REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI ⠀⠀: ⠀⠀🐺

I WANT TO WALK, BUT LIKE RUNAWAY ˒ 𝐢𝐯. the story behind the cover ,

abandoned by her father from an early age, aruna never had the father figure she should have had as a child. raised by her mother and grandmother, constantly compared to her perfect older brother, the little girl immediately forged a reserved but rebellious character. with an explosive spirit and a fiery temperament, aruna is constantly reprimanded by her elders and teachers — which led her to take a vow of silence to prevent anyone from reproaching her anything for her actions, for an entire year.

during this silent year, when speech was forbidden, the young girl learned to communicate through sign language, as her psychologist had advised. her conduct prompted her mother to stop comparing her to her brother and to appreciate aruna for who she is — which led her to decide to speak again. during her school years, aruna discovered a passion for singing and dancing thanks to one of her classmates whose dream was to become an idol.

ever since, aruna has been training and improving her skills to become an idol just like her friend wanted to be. aruna may be reserved and mysterious, she's still a troublemaker with a bad temper — even if she carries her heart in her hand. she can't thank her single mother enough for looking after her all these years, and vows to make her proud for the rest of her life. while remaining true to herself, of course.

#⠀𖦆⠀⠀͏៹ the red moon calls⠀...⠀minori #⠀𖦆⠀⠀͏៹ profile ... the crescent moon said #fictional idol community #fictional kpop community #fictional kpop company #kpop fictional character #fictional idol oc #fictional kpop oc #fictional kpop idol #fictional kpop group #fictional idol group #fictional characters #kpop original character #kpop oc #kpop female idol #kpop female artists #kpopidol #kpop gg oc #kpop girl group oc #kpop female oc

[respectthepetty]

I decided the best way to make it through Our Skyy 2 with minimal damage is to drink my way through it, so welcome to

CockTails in the Skyy! (there's no pun; stop laughing)

First up is Rum-Antics (Romantics + Rum & Antics) with Never Let Me Go

I have to make the drink first. *pause*

spiced rum (since I can't get Mekhong)

smashed blueberries (for that purple color that Nueng and Palm always had during their lovey-dovey scenes)

ginger ale (because I think Nueng was studying abroad in England, but if not . . . it is what it is)

brown sugar and lime juice on the rim (for class differences)

It's not even close to the purple I was going for, but it reminds me of the beach they went to and the filter that was used for it!

Okay! I got my drink. I'm in my rocking chair. I'm ready!

I'm already disgusted, and I don't know if it's because I put three shots of rum or because Palm is so in love with Nueng.

It's Palm. I can hold my liquor. He is disgusting. But this brown sugar and lime rim SMACKS!

The product placement and Nueng's attitude will be consistent I see.

TAM! Why did nobody mention her?!

The dad is alive? I don't know why I thought he was not alive.

I made this drink too strong. I don't know what is happening!

Oh, now I see why people are upset about the Master's. Palm had plans. Oh shit.

WHY ARE THEY GOING WITH THIS MAN?! (for plot reason, I know I know)

I like that Nueng in the series was like, "put the bad fortunes back" and Palm is now all, "don't listen to this rando" because that's *growth*

It's only been sixteen minutes?! I finished the drink already, so switching to sangria.

Palm is laying it on thick with the "we will be together." Read the room, sir. Your man is not on board.

IS THAT INTHA?! WITH A MACHETE?! He really got worse since high school!

They are hiding from him all over again with the finger on the lip just like the high school hall way.

HAHAHAHA! Why am I laughing that Intha just busted up their lovers' hug?

Phum/Petch is CRAWLING!

He pulled a Keke Palmer and really told Palm, "I don't know that man. Sorry to that man" about Nueng.

I knew who it would be, yet that reveal was FIRE! Why is my mouth open? *picks jaw up off the floor*

Them sitting by water reminds me that I need to drink water. I'm drinking too fast.

Nueng needs to get slapped for playing jokes in the Time of Cholera.

Nueng is making that Game of Thrones smile with this meal conversation.

Palm having his Devil Wears Prada moment and dismissing Petch is the petty behavior I love!

Perhaps Phum is an asshole to Palm in the present because Palm was an asshole to him in the past.

Nueng/Phuwin is a pretty boy. No further comment.

I hope Phuwin gets paid for his skills. Run him his money.

Kla really said, "we don't want to welcome the colonizers" by learning their language; they need to learn OUR language being on OUR land.

Oh, the Marc/Pawin feels are strong two drinks in.

Obviously, they have had to graduate from high school, but Palm confirming they did is wild to me since they were on the beach falling in love for most of that last year.

This is why I can't do historical dramas. There is no good time for me or my people to go back to. If the present still ain't it, why would I want to travel to an even worse time?

Oh shit! My ass just sobered up during this argument. Palm is spitting straight facts!

I'M FULLY SOBER NOW! A whipping?!

Nah, Petch deserves the energy Palm is giving him in this lifetime.

I might not actually be sober because that ending was rocky.

ANOTHER RUM-ANTIC for episode 2

Now Nueng is a teacher. Is he being paid for this service?!

It's Palm's birthday, yet he said being with Nueng is enough. Definitely not a fire sign, for sure.

Why does Pawin play shady so damn well?!

I already knew he wanted to flirt, but hearing it in the same sentence as "lashed, punished, and accused of doing an immoral act" just ruins the vibe a bit.

They really have time to write their feelings and bury them. This is why Palm is sleeping past noon.

Palm - My guy is out of my league. Nueng - My guy is stupid.

Fly, baby gay. FLY!

I should know how to count in Thai by now, at least to five.

I HATE GROUPS SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"!

And now Nueng is rattling off a poem. I cannot. I'm not drunk enough for this.

Sike! *record scratch* Y'all, I was expecting that hug to work too.

But at least we get more of this!

I don't like this plan. This is not a good plan.

Palm's walk is too much right here with this background music.

I'm thrilled my man is staying booked and busy after Ai Long Nhai.

That was a sick burn - "Even when you're reborn, you'll still be an asshole"

So they needed to experience a historical hate crime to get back? Cool beans.

I let the blueberries sit in the brown sugar and poured the juice in with the liquor. It is hitting right now in the best way as I entered the final quarter.

Phum asking if they remember him, their bully, is peak bully audacity.

A Zoomer buying a house? Definitely fictional.

Past era Palm and Nueng beating the "they were best friends and brothers" allegations! (unlike some other past "brothers" *cough* Dome x Khatha)

I know this is Pond and Phuwin's vehicle but Marc and Pawin are the drivers now!

I would like to link to the countless posts I wrote about Palm always choosing kindness and these two making the other stronger even through they are opposites, but that rum is hitting and I'm having to squint to focus.

Nah! I'm trying to get a visa for New Zealand right now for the World Cup, and it's a process. How did Palm get a whole ass passport and a ticket in a week?! Most unrealistic thing that happened in this show about two lovers being sent to the past.

These two talking about wanting to go back into the past to be enemies like they wouldn't rather stab themselves than give the other a paper cut. Pu-lease

OH SHIT! It's the singing I was warned about!

I know it's the theme song, but MUTE!

I don't know what happened at that end because I blacked out from the singing, but I know it was good.

Congratulations, Palm and Nueng on whatever happened!

Now that I am properly tipsy, I'm going to rate the Rum-Antics. The first was a 7/10 CockTails for too much rum and no Chopper, but the second was a hard 8/10 CockTails for its blueberry and brown sugar sweetness with MarcPawin, so I'm going to split the difference.

7.5/10 CockTails for my first OUTting.

Let's see how Pawin steals the show next week with Star in My Mind.

JOONGDUNK SUPREMACY!!!!!!

#Our Skyy 2 #Never Let Me Go #episodes 1 & 2 #Palm x Nueng #Cocktails in the Skyy

[translations-by-aiimee]

Mistakenly Saving the Villain - Chapter 21

Original Title: 论救错反派的下场

Genres: Drama, Romance, Xianxia, Yaoi

This translation is the product of my limited knowledge of Chinese characters as I attempt to learn the language. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Buy me a Ko-fi ☕

Chapter 21 - Paying Homage to Our Ancestors

Song Qingshi got up early and took Yue Wuhuan to the ancestral hall to pay respect to his ancestors.

The ancestral hall, which other sects attach great importance to, is remote and inconspicuous in Medicine King Valley, hidden in the trees, dilapidated and not much better than the medicinal servants' residence. Outside of the ancestral hall was a medicinal garden. Yue Wuhuan had passed by several times and thought it was an abandoned building and ignored it.

Song Qingshi pushed open the door, sealed by an array.

There was a thick pile of dust inside the ancestral hall, and apart from the simple tables, chairs and offering table, there was only an old painted scroll.

"Actually, it doesn't matter if you lock it. There aren't any valuables," Song Qingshi explained with some embarrassment. "I haven't been here for many years. Wait a minute while I clean it up." Then he rolled up his sleeves and first used a cool breeze spell to blow away the dust. After throwing cleansing spells everywhere, he set up an incense bowl on the altar and put flowers and fruits around it. Finally, he found a broken mat, patted the dust off with his hands, and said with satisfaction, "All done."

Yue Wuhuan stood beside him, holding the incense in a daze. He had never seen such an unrefined sect in his life. . .

Song Qingshi unrolled the painted scroll on the offering table and hung it up.

The scroll had no figures or inscriptions, only a boundless sea of clouds. A brilliant light beamed through the depths of the sea of clouds, lighting up the sky.

Song Qingshi tried his best to explain: "I accidentally got the inheritance from my ancestors in the hidden realm. My ancestors didn't leave a name, only the surname Song. I didn't have a surname then, so I took my ancestor's surname as a sign of respect. . ."

There were a lot of killings in the immortal world. Many children had lost their parents. His original body was one of them. Because he was born with two kinds of spiritual abilities and had a very high talent for medicine and poisons, he accidentally obtained the Medicine King's inheritance in the hidden realm and created the Medicine King's Valley. Practicing medicine and treating diseases, refining alchemy to make poisons, and occasionally going to the hidden realm to grab some rare medicines unknowingly helped gain the sect the reputation it has today.

"This inheritance in the immortal world was placed directly into my consciousness, so this painting is the only physical material left by the late master. I guess it has special sentimental value, so I used it as an offering. In fact, I don't know what the painting is about. It may be a landscape. . ." Song Qingshi, feeling guilty about his random assessment, quickly dismissed it. "Anyway, I have copied all the manuscripts that are suitable for inheriting the sect and put them in the library. You can read them yourself."

After Song Qingshi finished his introduction, he felt confident that he hadn't missed anything and instructed Yue Wuhuan to offer incense.

Yue Wuhuan lit the incense respectfully. When he was about to kneel down, the incense went out.

He re-lit the incense, knelt down again, and the incense went out once more.

Yue Wuhuan looked at Song Qingshi worriedly: "Could it be. . . the master doesn't want to accept me as a disciple?"

"Impossible. You're so smart. The late master couldn't be happier." Song Qingshi waved his hand. He lowered his head and pondered for a moment, "Speaking of which, I don't recall ever having kneeled here before. Every time I come here, I clean up and leave after I burn incense. I must have forgotten. . . I guess the late master might not like being bowed to by his disciples, so try offering incense directly."

Yue Wuhuan dubiously inserted the burning incense into the burner, stood up and saluted.

Sure enough, the incense in the burner burned steadily and didn't go out.

Yue Wuhuan couldn't help asking: "Is this disrespectful to the ancestors?"

"The late master didn't like these sorts of things. He liked. . ." Song Qingshi recalled the inheritance that the original body received. Those inheritances were full of knowledge, leaving almost no personal traces except a very interesting word, which seemed to be his motto, "Question."

Question authority, question knowledge, question everything in the world.

Questioning is the driving force behind scientific research.

Song Qingshi wasted a lot of energy explaining his philosophy to Yue Wuhuan: "The late master didn't want us to respect him personally. What he wanted us to respect was knowledge, to carry out his philosophy, to study well, to study carefully, and to never hesitate to question what he left behind just because he was the master. Although Master was very powerful, he could still make mistakes. We have to find the correct answer in the neverending mistakes."

Yue Wuhuan hesitated: "The correct answer?"

Song Qingshi said happily: "Well, I've already studied and proved several mistakes of my master and re-revised the answers."

His theory can be described as shocking in the immortal world where masters are respected.

Yue Wuhuan was too shocked to speak.

"Perhaps this is the root of Medicine King's Valley foundation," Song Qingshi said longingly. "If I die, I hope to be like my master, to not have my disciples worship, and to not leave portraits and names for future generations to admire. These things are a waste of time. If you have the time to do these things, you might as well use it for research. It's better to finish the projects I haven't finished, correct the mistakes I made, and create more interesting. . ."

Before he finished speaking, Yue Wuhuan yanked his arm heavily, interrupting his thoughts.

Yue Wuhuan stared at him fiercely. His face was as gloomy as a sky about to rain. He almost gritted his teeth and said, "Don't say such unlucky things..."

Song Qingshi finally came to his senses and said with a smile, "Don't worry, I'm talking about the end of my life."

Medical students aren't afraid to talk about life and death, and he didn't feel that this topic was anything special.

Yue Wuhuan panicked and interrupted sternly: "Don't say that!"

Song Qingshi realized that he was really angry. He thought about his psychological problems and obediently shut up.

Yue Wuhuan also knew he should bow his head, but he didn't want to apologize.

The two were silent for a long time and finally silently pretended that this topic had never happened.

The worship ceremony was completed.

. . .

Song Qingshi liked to eat sweets, especially sorbet. Yue Wuhuan was very picky about the taste, thinking that the ones bought from outside weren't good enough and too dirty, and there was no good cook in Medicine King's Valley, so he took the time to study various sweet food preparation methods. Every day, he cooked all kinds of sweet food for him in different ways, which was especially delicious.

After An Long discovered Song Qingshi's private stove, he became incredibly grabby and tried to get Yue Wuhuan to cook for him too.

Song Qingshi was instantly angry: "Is my eldest disciple a waiter?"

An Long didn't care about such reasoning. He made a big fuss, just wanting to eat desserts made by Yue Wuhuan.

"Forget it. He's very busy," Song Qingshi lost his temper. He put down his book, rolled up his sleeves and said, "I'll do it for you."

An Long's eyes lit up with joy.

Although Song Qingshi loved sweets, he didn't go out of his way to eat them. He was fine whether he ate them or not. In the original world, he was the eldest young master who only had to stretch his hand out for food. In this world, he would rather fast than make food, so he had never been in a kitchen in either of his two lifetimes. His brain was filled with tens of thousands of herbs but had no place for oil, salt, sauce or vinegar. . .

He stood in the kitchen in a daze for a while, trying to figure out how to use various utensils. He couldn't find a recipe and didn't know how to make fire with ordinary firewood, so he simply used spiritual fire and made dessert like alchemy.

Finally, after mucking around for a long time, he brought out a plate of round dumplings with charred black skin, each of which was exactly the same size and shade of charred blackness. Perfectly satisfying for anyone with OCD.

"These are green dumplings." Song Qingshi had always been brave in the face of failure. He took out the finished product to prove that he had tried hard. He then said, "It probably won't taste good, so I should throw them away. I'll ask the cook to make something for you. As long as it doesn't bother Wuhuan, anything is fine.”

An Long smiled and watched, then suddenly picked up a dumpling and threw it into his mouth.

Song Qingshi didn't have time to stop An Long from indiscriminately eating them, so he was a little worried about diarrhea.

An Long chewed it carefully for a long time and praised: "It doesn't look like much, but the taste is actually alright."

Immediately afterwards, he happily threw a few more dumpings into his mouth until only the last one remained.

Song Qingshi was dumbfounded. Even he didn't dare taste this stuff after it came out of the oven. Was it really edible? So, in a brave and challenging mood, he put the last dumpling into his mouth and chewed it. The explosive taste rushed over his taste buds in an instant. The fishy taste was worse than the most bitter medicine and was bad enough to make him nauseous.

Song Qingshi was so disgusted that tears came out of his eyes. He quickly spit out the dumplings, gesturing to An Long speechlessly.

An Long slapped the table and laughed crazily, so much that he couldn't sit upright.

He was like this in the past. He would be willing to hurt himself in order to make fun of the original body. He has a good grasp of how low he could go before he went too far with the original body, so he could successfully walk on the thin line of death every time. When he saw that Song Qingshi was about to explode, he quickly wiped away the tears from laughing, regained his dignity, and added: "I'll never ask Yue Wuhuan for food again."

Song Qingshi instantly dissipated his anger.

An Long said playfully: "It's only the first time you made it. It's precious. You must try again."

When Song Qingshi thought about his creation, he felt a little embarrassed.

An Long chased after him: "By the way, do you want to see the new poison I developed? It's very cute."

Song Qingshi immediately forgot such insignificant things as dumplings and happily dragged him to the research room.

On the way, An Long smiled and asked, "You're really nervous about this darling Yue Wuhuan. What's wrong with him?"

Song Qingshi glanced at him vigilantly, unwilling to answer this private question, and instructed: "Don't mess around."

An Long pondered: "That's interesting. . ."

The more Song Qingshi didn't allow things to get messy, the more he wanted to mess things up.

How fun is it to mess around?

. . .

After finishing sword practice, Yue Wuhuan was returning to his room to shower and change clothes. When he passed by the corridor, a small paper ball hit the back of his head.

The ball of paper fell on the ground and rolled around. It seemed like there was something wrapped inside it.

Right now is when Song Qingshi does pharmaceutical experiments and can't be disturbed. . . So he squatted down obediently, picked up the paper ball according to the other party's wishes, and slowly unfolded it.

Wrapped in the paper ball was a terrifying double-headed centipede, with countless legs wriggling and disgusting mucus flowing from its two grotesque mandibles. It opened its teeth and claws to pounce on him.

Yue Wuhuan thought about it and wrapped it in the paper again. He threw it away and said angrily, "Immortal An, don't do such childish things."

"What? Qingshi's not here, and suddenly you're too lazy to pretend to be good?" An Long laughed and came out from behind the screen wall. He beckoned, and the centipede immediately crawled out of the paper ball and returned to his palm, "This little guy isn't poisonous. It’s just for scaring people. Every time it can scare a beauty into screaming and trembling, it’s very fun. Why aren’t you afraid at all? I’m a little disappointed.”

Yue Wuhuan said helplessly: "If the Immortal Master wants it, I can scream for you."

"Don't, it'll sound too fake. I won't like it," An Long flipped his hands, and the centipede disappeared. He walked over lazily, looked Yue Wuhuan up and down curiously, and praised, "I never thought that a man could be so beautiful. Even more beautiful than Miss Wan in Mingyue Tower. I know you only like men, but still, I don't feel disgusted."

Mingyue Tower was a famous brothel in the immortal world, and Miss Wan was a famous prostitute.

This analogy was extremely malicious.

But Yue Wuhuan didn't care. He smiled and said: "I've heard that Immortal An's confidantes are all over the world and have seen countless beauties. Many immortal maidens and devils are jealous and have even fought over you. Today, it's a great honour for Wuhuan to be praised for his beauty."

"Young Master Wuhuan is joking," An Long heard him secretly mocking his flirtations and was amused, "My confidantes can't compare to the many that must be fascinated with you. I once knew a friend, what was his name? He's still a hero following a righteous path. He can't forget about you. Knowing that you have willingly entered Medicine King's Valley and can no longer get close to him, he gets drunk and complains a lot."

Yu Qing talked nonsense after drinking in Xilin, which tarnished Song Qingshi's reputation, so he killed him and sent his body to Medicine King's Valley for research.

Yue Wuhuan pretended not to understand: "I never remember dead people."

An Long sneered and said, "Beauties are so ruthless."

"Yes, prostitutes are ruthless and heartless." Yue Wuhuan pointed out his sarcasm. He raised his head, brushed his hair that was wet from the sweat from practicing sword practice behind his ears, and walked a few steps. He lazily leaned against the corridor's screen wall, raised his eyes, and asked provocatively: "Immortal An, don't you think it's interesting to be alive?"

An Long followed and bent down. He pressed his arm tattooed with the five poisonous creatures tightly against the screen wall next to his ear. He towered over him, smiling wickedly, and took off his disguise, baring his sharp wolf teeth: "I think I think you're a funny little fake. I want to know what's hidden under this beauty's skin. Let me have a look, okay?"

Yue Wuhuan smiled and asked: "Is Immortal An interested in my true face?"

An Long frivolously pinched his chin and forcefully lifted it. He examined his face carefully, leaned forward, and said fiercely: "Very interested."

Yue Wuhuan looked at him quietly for a moment and reminded him: "Master seems to have finished his experiments ahead of schedule."

An Long withdrew his hand quickly. He panicked momentarily before suddenly remembering that he had blocked Song Qingshi's spiritual detection so he wouldn't be discovered.

Yue Wuhuan lowered his head and held back his smile.

"You dare lie to me?!" Realizing he had been tricked, An Long was furious and wanted to flash his claws at this ignorant guy.

In an instant, a spiritual fire rose under his feet.

An Long sensed the crisis and immediately jumped away.

Immediately afterwards, several spiritual fires forced him to retreat several feet away.

Song Qingshi appeared behind him, wishing he could smash An Long to death with spiritual fire for bullying his little angel without a second thought. Fortunately, Yue Wuhuan had reminded him that he should secretly use his divine sense to check what An Long was doing while he was here; otherwise, this dead dog could have torn down Medicine King's Valley! Although high-level cultivators were able to isolate the divine mind from detection, when he found that An Long's aura had suddenly disappeared from the research room, he realized something was wrong. He thought he was going to hide and do bad things, so he came here after discovering Yue Wuhuan's location.

An Long pointed at Yue Wuhuan, so angry that he couldn't speak properly: "You!"

Yue Wuhuan whispered aggrievedly: "I didn't lie."

Song Qingshi rushed to Yue Wuhuan in one large step. He carefully checked whether he was injured, and asked nervously, "Did this guy bully you?"

Although he didn't see what had happened, it didn't take much thought about who was right and who was wrong between the fierce and domineering An Long and the cute little angel. Was there much to consider when comparing who's stronger and weaker between a mentally fragile patient and a rough and thick-skinned immortal? What's more, An Long can kill Yue Wuhuan a hundred times over with just one finger! He must take good care of his little angel! Not just for the investment but to protect him!

Song Qingshi was eccentric and magnanimous, and frankly, he was justified.

An Long glared desperately at Yue Wuhuan behind his back, the kind of gaze that held a particularly strong deterrent effect.

Yue Wuhuan looked at it and said softly and protectively: "No, Immortal An is quite nice. He's joking with me."

Song Qingshi looked back at An Long suspiciously. The spiritual fire on his body was still burning, and there was a faint urge to switch to a poisonous fire.

An Long instantly switched to a pure smile: "I wouldn't dare bully him. I'm just chatting casually and telling jokes."

"Yes," Yue Wuhuan continued to persuade. "Master, I seldom go out, so I'm quite curious about the outside world. Immortal An is good-natured and had a lot of interesting things to share. I'm happy to listen."

An Long grabbed Yue Wuhuan's shoulders and patted his chest. He laughed, "He and I hit it off right away. We just want to be friends."

Yue Wuhuan admitted with a smile: "Immortal An really didn't bully me."

Song Qingshi gradually extinguished the flame and doubtfully asked: "Is that so?"

The two of them nodded at the same time: "Yes."

Song Qingshi was a little confused and scratched his head. When he saw An Long blocking Yue Wuhuan from leaving with a domineering posture, he felt angry. He really didn't understand what they were doing. Could it be a misunderstanding?

"You go first. I'll find you next time to play a little longer," An Long greeted Yue Wuhuan with a hidden threat. and then dragged Song Qingshi away as quickly as he could. "Come on, let's see if the petri dish from yesterday has any results."

"Don't be angry. I really dare not bully your glass man."

"Rule 72."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop talking about it. Have a drink with me."

"I don't want to."

". . ."

Yue Wuhuan saluted politely and watched the two leave.

The King of Xilin Poison stood in a high position all year round. He didn't need to think many things through. Violence was enough to crush everything.

Therefore, his temptations and thoughts were superficial and very easy to guess.

It's just investigating his miserable past that brought up despicable suspicion; suspicion that he had someone backing him up, suspicion that he had evil intentions for Medicine King's Valley, suspicion of his ambitions, and even suspicion that he had feelings for Song Qingshi. But he was also worried that if there was no evidence, Song Qingshi would tear him apart, unwilling to actually investigate. He wanted to find an excuse to wind him up, try to find out his true face little by little, and then crush him to death.

This matter isn't difficult to solve.

Since the King of Xilin Poison wants to see his true face, then he'll show him his true face.

He hoped he could take it. . .

#mistakenly saving the villain translation #mistakenly saving the villain #bl novel #chinese novel #english translation #chinese bl #danmei #danmei novel #yaoi #yaoi novel #song qingshi #yue wuhuan

[lenteur]

random thoughts about tell me that you love me, episode one

(the rest is under the cut because i'm worried about your eyes having to read ALL OF THAT and this post might contain spoilers)

First of all, I'd like to say that the scenery is gorgeous 💘 I'm in love with it 😍

The first thing I've noticed is how peaceful and slow this drama is. I really like that. I wonder if there will be a lot of moments of silence because cha jin woo has a hearing impairment.

The music ambiance in this episode is amazing. You can feel how the main character feels about the world around him.

I like that mo eun understood jin woo can't hear well and went back up the rooftop to save him.

Mo eun still taking the time to reassure jin woo that everything's going to be okay in the middle of a fire, how caring of her.

So now we know jin woo is triggered by fire because something happened when he was younger. It must have taken place during high school but we don't have the details yet.

I'm in the middle of this show and I'm already in love... I think it's cute how the more they meet the more they communicate with each other and find ways to do so because jin woo can't hear.

It's amazing that they're both thoughtful about each other: she came to rescue him during the fire, he's serving her the dish and even bringing her a towel when it started raining on them. It's those little gestures that mean a lot.

Mo eun even tried to cover her ears to understand how it feels to be in jin woo's shoes.

I noticed that the first time jin woo smiled is when he was with mo eun, the only person who seems to notice him. She's the first person who went to him and tried to understand him. She even went as far as saving him because she knew if she didn't chances are he'd have been caught in the fire.

And now mo eun is learning sign language for him? Oh take my heart while you're at it! I know they're not in a romantic relationship but it's just heartwarming to see them BOTH put effort into communicating with each other and no just jin woo. It proves that she is a thoughtful person. She's thankful for jin woo helping her and she wants to let him know in the language he understands the most.

The shift in jin woo's eyes when he saw her communicate with him in sign language 💖 followed by "I always thought I was the one who should make efforts" Kindness and understanding go a long way.

Jin woo has been rejected by others (ie the grandma who swiftly went back home when she learnt he can't hear) so it must have been a relief for him to see someone not be deterred by that and trying their best to communicate with him.

What I really liked the most about this episode was that it matched with jin woo, whether it be the pacing or the sounds, it helped us put ourselves in his shoes. I'm glad this decision was made because it's rare to find shows (didn't say it was impossible) that put a spotlight on a disability that well.

I'm going to give the episode a 9/10

ps: i was made aware this is a remake of a 1995 japanese drama Aishiteiru to Ittekure. I haven't watched the drama so I won't be making any comparisons between the two. So if my opinion differs from yours because of that, please know that i am aware the japanese drama exists but i won't be watching it (for now, who knows?)

#what a great surprise! #i can't wait to watch the next episodes #thank you to the talented gifmaker that made me want to watch this thanks to their beautiful gifs 💗 #random(al) thoughts #kdrama #tell me that you love me

[spacelion-loveshermulletson]

Anyone else who enjoys making up headcanons or AU'S / timelines that differs from the Canon in Link Click?

One of mine is where Lu Guang knows the twins from a young age.

This could then go in a few fun (angsty) directions, depending on how we want the story to play out, how close to the Canon it could get or go in a completely different direction.

There are so many points to figure out and a lot of fun stories could come from that.

Some headcanons/general thoughts I'm juggling around in my head:

* How did they meet? Did LG used to live in that apartment building himself? Did their parents know each other? Or did they meet outside one day when LTC didn't want to go home yet?

* Did LG learn about what happened way later and could not find them before they fell into the alliance where they kill people? - Imagine the drama that eould unfold when he learns that they are the Killer-Divers. - Added thoughts, would the stabbing still even hsppen in that case? Or would LTC go after CXS instead?

* Did LG manage to get the Police involved before the death of their parents? What ways could the story go from that point? Would the twins still become involved with QJ or would LG's involvement change that into them moving in with LG (and CXS, if Shiguang is a team in this route)/ LG's parents?

What is their general dynamic? Does LG get along more with one twin? Is LTC a bit possesive and doesn't like LG's new friends?

How would the twins's dynamic with the rest of the cast be?

More to be added later!

It would make me so happy if anyone who likes this idea wants to add their own thoughts/headcanons to this!

Some headcanons:

* The twins call LG "Lu gege".

* Lu Guang learnt sign language to practice together with them.

#link click #link click au #link click season 2 #lu guang #li tianchen #li tianxi #canon divergence #headcanons #unfinished #to be continued #shiguang #shiguang daili ren #shi guang dai li ren

[leekimdramas]

Twinkling Watermelon Review (Spoiler Free)

It's been a long time since I've been laughing and crying so much with the drama.

Ha Eun Gyeol is the only one from his family that can hear and takes on a burden to be the interpreter.

Seemingly he does great and is a perfect student but doesn't know how to tell his parents that he wants to do music... But maybe travelling back in time and seeing his parents young might change his mind.

I cannot believe that I almost skipped this amazing drama but I'm so happy that I saw people talking about in on twitter and decided to check it out.

From the very start of the story I was hooked, it was sad to see Eun Gyeol trying to take all the responsibility and the writers did a great job of making a viewer (aka me) feel as hurt as Eun Gyeol did.

But as the main character travels back to the past, and sees his father, there's no more feelings just love.

I saw some people talking about how later episodes felt a bit more like a filler and I agree as there were some points missed.

But at the same time I was so happy just to see them together that I didn't really mind it.

It was super funny to watch and Ha Yi Chan (the dad) was probably a great representation of a teenage boy who just swings his backpack around himself like crazy.

This drama also shows a deaf family and it really got me thinking about how we don't try to include deaf people in our communities much.

I'm not sure how well they did with signing but it really got me thinking about learning sign language. That I think was kind of the point in some way.

I also enjoyed the story of Choi Se Kyung (the dad's first love), maybe would have liked a little bit more to get to know her but she was annoyingly great.

One of my favourite tropes is found family and I was so happy to see it here. Eun Gyeol found not only his parents but also such great band members and group members.

And it is just hard to watch without secretly routing for all of them (maybe not Se Kyung as she wanted to destroy one of the best ships).

Overall, this drama is very refreshing and has that youthful aspect in it as in some way it is just a guy making a band for his first love.

But it does have deeper thoughts behind it and I really enjoyed the balance between those two.

10/10

#twinkling watermelon #kdrama #review #spoiler free