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strawberryfairi · 2 months

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Hello, you haven't updated Hanma's fic for a long time, why?🤧

Synopsis✨: The story of how you catch heavy feelings for the hot photography student, Shuji Hanma…even though you already have the perfect (fake) boyfriend.

Pairings: Photography Student! Shuji Hanma X Dance Major! Black Fem 🤎 Reader (ANYONE CAN READ🧚🏾‍♀️) Content: Drama, lots of denial, angst, sneaky link, lots of cheating, mutual pining, unserious Shuji, controlling parents, forced relationships, romance, fighting, porn with a good plot vibes, intense sexual tension, etc (just find out the rest lol)

w.c: 4.6k💠 Released: March 13, 2024

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NOTE: I'm so utterly sorry for how long it's taken to post this next chapter. The writer's block I've been going through has been absolutely INSANE! But thank y'all for bearing with me and here goes chapter 5. I wanted to make this chapter as spicy/exciting yet non cringe as possible so hopefully I was able to cook.

C.W: Heavy smut, p in v, deep throating, lots of begging

5; SIN 罪

"I-I-..what are you doing?" You stutter completely flustered.

"Just tellin' you what's on my mind." He shrugs plainly, a smug grin on his face.

"Well stop. I didn't ask what you were thinking." You shoot back with as much sassiness as you could muster, trying to regain your composure. Hanma laughs lightly, a surprisingly cute laugh that almost makes you smile too.

"You trynna boss me around in my own place?" He raises a teasing brow.

"Yeah, when you're doin' things you're not supposed to." You clap back.

"Aaw, but you like it. You like it so much you're soakin' wet right now." He murmurs right by your left ear.

Once again you went speechless, feeling trapped because he was right. There was no point in trying to lie about this one. "I know you wanna try to act like you went and just forgot about what we did, but we both know you wanna finish what we started just as much as I do." He says, looking you dead in the eyes.

"I don't.." You trail off.

"Don't act like you don't think about it, about me stretching this little pussy out-

"Stop!"

"-About making you cum over and over again."

"Please don't! Don't do this!" You whimper anxiously, looking down to the floor in an overwhelming blend of emotions. He chuckles mischievously, lifting your head up once again to look him in the eyes. "You know what I think about? I imagine the look on your face when you're fucked out way passed your limit, your cute little legs shaking while you cry to me about it being too much. Uuugh, and I think about you on yours knees for me, letting me teach you how to use that pretty throat when you suck my dick." He runs his tongue across his bottom lip lewdly, that sultry tone in his voice making your pussy gush.

"Don't talk like that." You mumble desperately.

"Come ooon pretty girl. Stop acting like you don't wanna fuck me, like you don't want me to slut you out." He coos, brushing his lips temptingly against your neck. You let out a shaky breath, trying so hard to keep your composure. The way he talks to you like this, so dirty and without a care, it turns you on so ridiculously much.

"I-I'm not acting! We..really can't do this!" You shake your head with your brows furrowed, you're so conflicted.

"We can, baby. We can do it right here on this wall, on the bed...both." He hums, lightly sucking on your neck.

An airy moan slips passed your lips at his words, involuntarily turning your head to give him better access. "Sounds nice doesn't it?" He purrs.

"Wait wait, Kenny's gonna find out! He'll be pissed!" You protest nervously.

"He won't find out." He murmurs against your skin while planting a hickey a few inches above your collarbone. "Yeah he will! H-He'll kill me; and you too." You mutter desperately between moans, grabbing two small fistfuls of his hoodie.

"He's not gonna find out, don't worry. You're safe with me, angel." He assures.

You knew you weren't anywhere close to safe with him. You were teetering on the edge of a cliff, just seconds from plummeting into an unforgiving pit of fire. Your resolve and faithfulness is a complete joke now, as thoughts of Ken seem to dissolve from the forefront of your mind with each passing second. But damn, it'd be a lie to say you didn't love it. It's so wrong, but the idea of finally having sex with Hanma makes your heart flutter in your chest like crazy. All those days you'd spent fantasizing and dreaming about what he'd feel like deep inside you-fuuuck, you could barely keep it together anymore. Your body practically craved him, begging and screaming for him to throw you on that huge bed and do whatever the hell he wanted to you. 'Cause quite honestly, a part of you would gladly let him.

Before you could respond, he leans away from your neck, grabbing the back of your thighs and picking you up. You gasp, naturally wrapping your arms around his neck as he sets your back against the cold wall next to the doorway.

Uuugh, he's gonna get you in so much trouble!

But to be honest...fuck it.

Hanma leans in, placing his wickedly sweet lips onto yours to which you gladly meet him halfway. You both moan together, tongues immediately crashing in a needy, sloppy kiss. The kiss is noisy, the sound of your mouths ravaging each other spurring you both on. You pull him impossibly close, placing your right hand on the nape of his neck while the other traces all along the muscles of his shoulder and chest over his hoodie.

His hands squeeze your thighs as he presses his hardening dick right against your aching, clothed pussy. Then he pulls away from your lips, his honey brown eyes on fire with lust. "Before I rip this little outfit off'a you, I want you to tell me you want me." He says breathily against your lips. He didn't have to tell you twice...

"I want you! I'm not supposed to, but I-I want you so bad! It hurts how bad I need it." You admit instantly, your face burning up with embarrassment at how pitiful and desperate you sounded.

"Hmmm, I don't think I'm too convinced by that, sweetheart. Y'sure you won't just try to forget again?" He tilts his head to the side, shifting his hands to grab your ass and grind against your pussy. You moan from the delicious friction he gave you, answering him frantically.

"No no, I won't forget! I didn't forget before either; I promise!" You respond frantically, shaking your head.

"Oh? But earlier you said you couldn't remember. Which is it-

"I was just lying! I was embarrassed 'cause I was trying not to want you this whole time." You whine, looking up at him with pleading eyes. "I mean it. I really want you." You add softly. He looks into your eyes for a second, before giving you another toe curling kiss. You feel the coolness of the wall leave your back as he walks you over to the bed, sitting down on the edge with you in his lap. Then, he pulls away, shifting you around so you were lying in his lap on your stomach.

"What are you doi-

You cut yourself off with a loud cry, feeling a sting on your right ass cheek. You gasp in shock, trying to turn and look over at him. No he did not just smack your ass like that!

"Since I'm still not very convinced you won't turn around and tell me we should forget it, I'm gonna make sure I'm all you can think about after this. Got me, angel?"

Your brows furrow slightly in curiosity, yet you nod nonetheless. Abruptly he smacks your ass again, in the same exact spot as before. Your body jumps in response as you yelp again. "You seem to have a thing for not answering me with words, huh? How 'bout you try "yes, daddy"." He suggests smugly.

"Yes..daddy." You murmur shyly, looking to the floor in front of you. You swallow, feeling your face burn up in embarrassment at how much calling him that actually turned you on. A wicked grin makes its way across his lips. "That's perfect." He praises. "You don't mind if I play with you a little, right?" He asks mischievously, making your heart skip a beat.

"No daddy, I don't mind." You shake your head, biting your lip excitedly. "Good girl, you learn fast." His tatted hands grip and massage your ass, fingers slightly grazing against your pussy every now and then. Your hips start moving by themselves, trying to find any kind of friction to ease the growing achiness between your legs. Another smack onto your ass makes you cry out, halting your movements instantly. "Stay still." He commands sternly, smacking your ass four more times. You jump and whimper with each slap, trying to keep yourself as still as possible.

Your whimpers turn into full out moans as he continues, his right hand finally rubbing your needy pussy, while the other firmly grips your ass. "Still want me, doll?" He murmurs.

"Yes! Yes daddy; I want you so bad!" You whine desperately, unconsciously grinding your hips back and forth on his hand. He moves his hand, making you pout, then shifts your teddy to the side. The cool air against your core gives you goosebumps all over. "Mm, look at this pretty pussy; goddamn." He hums, slipping his ring and middle finger between your folds, making you whimper from his touch. "So fuckin' wet." He whispers, watching you moan and squirm in his lap.

"Remember when I made you cum on my fingers?" He asks sensually, prodding around your needy entrance. "Yes daddy. Please do it again!" You beg, tilting your ass up. His left hand smacks your ass again. One, two, three times. He grips your right cheek, spreading you open and giving him the perfect view of his fingers on your pussy. Finally he slides his long fingers all the way in, making you gasp deeply, nearly seeing stars. You squirm around, trying to find something to hold on to.

"Ooooh! Fuck fuck fuck!" You holler, squeezing your eyes closed as he fingers you fast and deep. Your breathing turns into labored pants, failing miserably at keeping still. His fingers make your pussy talk, gushing and squelching with every pump. His free hand lays down rough slaps to each cheek, going back and forth. "Yes yeess!" You repeat like a mantra. Your legs start shaking, the mix of pleasure and stinging pain driving you straight into your first orgasm. "If you wanna cum, you'd better ask first." He says sternly, nearly making your eyes roll back.

"Ca-can I cum please, daddy?! I can't-..." You whimper, feeling yourself getting closer. Your hands ball into fists, unable wait for his answer, you're too close.

Then...he stopped.

You blink a few times, trying to process what just happened. His fingers pull out of you, and go back to gripping your ass along with his other hand.

"Why'd you stop?!" Your question comes out whiny and a highly annoyed. He definitely knew you were seconds from cumming. "I thought you didn't mind if I played with you?" He teases, squeezing and rubbing circles on your ass. You were speechless. You've never been denied an orgasm before, ever. It felt terrible, like you were just ripped out of an amazing dream. It felt even worse since he clearly enjoyed doing that to you.

"Aaaw, you didn't like that, babydoll?" He giggles (yes, giggles), his tone faking innocence.

"No..." You grit out lowly. You'd be glaring at him if you weren't facing away from him.

"Daddy's sorry. I'll let you cum this time." He assures soothingly, slipping his hand down to rub circles on your clit. You let out a blissful moan, instantly forgetting about your denied orgasm. He smacks your ass hard, just as he goes and slides his two fingers inside you again. "Mmmmm." You bite your lip, determined this time to get off. He slides his fingers in and out slowly, so slowly actually that it was getting rather annoying.

"Go faster." You whimper, moving your hips back. You jump, feeling a particularly hard smack against your left cheek. It stung so bad. "OW!"

"Stop moving." Is all he says, continuing with that same miserable ass pace. You whine, forcing your hips still as you take what he gives. This is absolutely not what you thought he meant when he said he wanted to play with you. This isn't playing, this is torture. "Pleaaase, go faster!" You beg desperately, tears nearly forming in your eyes. His strokes were so shallow, and slow, it felt good but you needed more badly. You needed him much deeper. He takes out his fingers with a little pop sound, much to your dismay, and spreads your wetness around your clit. "Noooo, I need more! Daddy please! I can't do this!" You sob defeatedly.

"Yes you can, baby." He coos softly, rubbing your entrance with his thumb. "I caaan't!" You whine, hips just slightly moving. He stops you with another hard smack, you mewl, feeling the tears trying to fall from your eyes.

"Look at you cryin' for me." He grins, a wicked laugh leaving his lips. You pout with a defeated groan, only amusing him further. He had you right where he wanted you. "I wanna cum so bad; I need you. Please daddy, pleaaaase." You beg exasperatedly. He moans, running his two fingers up and down your folds, then abruptly slides them back inside. "Uuughh!" You moan loudly, keeping still as he pushes them all the way in. He sets a pace, deep, and much faster than before. "That feel better, angel?" He murmurs sensually. "Uh huh! Uh huh!" You moan breathlessly, frantically nodding your head up and down. "Say thank you daddy." He commands, upping the pace further.

"Th-thank you daddy, thank you, thank you!" You repeat over and over, starting to shake all over again. His other hand smacks and squeezes your ass cheek, turning you on like crazy. You start panting, your orgasm hitting you out of nowhere. "Ooh fuck! Can I cum-oh my god-c-can I cum, daddy?!" You ask wildly, legs trembling even worse than before. "Hmmm, nah." He says, pulling his fingers out. "Nooo! Don't stop, don't sto-

He silences you with a hard smack on your ass, making you whimper and whine, the tears already fully streaming down your cheeks. He chuckles evilly, lifting you up and placing you on the floor on your knees in front of him. You look up at him wearily with a frustrated pout.

"I wanna see how you look with your mouth full of my dick. Then I promise I'll let you cum." Your expression immediately shifts, eyes sparkling in nervous excitement, watching him stand over you and pull his sweats and boxers down. His dick springs forward, nearly slapping against his stomach. He's huge, the length and width intimidating you as you wonder how you're gonna go about fitting all this in your mouth.

You opt for what seemed obvious to you, running your tongue and lips all over his shaft, then use your hands to stroke the base. Your mouth wraps around his tip, leaning forward and taking as much of him in as you could, hollowing your cheeks as you bob your head back and forth. You set a pace for yourself, using your tongue to swirl around the tip as your hands help you with the rest.

"Not like that, baby." He says softly, cupping your face with his hands to stop you. "Don't use your hands."

You wanted to protest that you couldn't go any further with your mouth, but he's already guiding you down his length. Your eyes squeeze closed, hands grasping at his thighs as you gag and sputter on his dick. "That's it, all the way in." He praises, bringing his hips forward. Your mind was working in overdrive trying to figure out how to balance between breathing through your nose and keeping your throat relaxed so you wouldn't choke. This was very new to you, you've never done something like this, really because Ken has never told or asked you to. Hanma's pace is just enough to have your eyes watering, trying desperately to keep up as he uses your throat. He makes it messy, spit bubbling up around your lips and dripping down your chin. For a moment you remember you definitely put mascara on earlier for the shoot, it's highly likely long gone, lost in the tears around your eyes and cheeks.

"Fuuuck, that feels so good." His pleasured moans with the sound of your gagging and spitting blends with the music in the background. It shocked you how much you were enjoying this, your arousal literally flowing down your legs to your mid thighs. You ached so badly for him, but you liked that you were making him feel good like this. Your eyes flutter, feeling him suddenly hold you still, your trembling lips wrapped around the base of him. You sputter hard, struggling not to try and move your head away, lightly digging your nails into his legs.

Finally he pulls away, letting you breathe, coughing a little as you wipe your mouth. He helps you stand, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist. "That was perfect, angel." He praised, leaning in and giving you a deep kiss, moving his tongue against yours. You moan, your hands traveling all over his neck and shoulders. Hanma turns towards the bed, throwing you near the pillows. He lifts his hoodie over his head, tossing it to the side before climbing on top of you. He pulls the string of your halter and helps you out of your teddy, leaving you in just your thigh high, white lace stockings.

"You're not gettin' any second thoughts about this, are you? 'Cause I can't stop now." He purrs, trailing kisses all along your neck and jawline. "Not at all." You shake your head, bringing him back up for another kiss. His right hand reaches between the two of you, lining himself up with your entrance and skillfully easing inside you.

He moans against your lips as you whimper loudly, basking in the feeling of stretching you out. You tense up instantly, gripping his shoulders while you pull away from the kiss, gasping at how he's already bullying his way past the entrance of your tight walls. Once just a little more than the tip of him is all the way in, your hands reach for his hips, trying to keep him from moving any further as your brows furrow tightly together. "Wait, wait..." You mutter shakily.

"You gonna give me this pussy, pretty girl?" He asks sensually, placing your legs over his shoulders and folding you in half. "Ahh!" You gasp, reaching up and digging your nails into his back. He reaches between you two, using his thumb and running circles over your clit, helping him go even further. "Too much. Wait...'s too much!" You struggle to speak. The deeper he went the more full you felt, practically seeing stars and other galaxies as he kept going.

"You don't know what too much is." Hanma teases. He pulls out just a bit, then rolls his hips forward, burying himself all the way inside you. "Oooh!" Your voice shook and cracked a bit as you mewled, squirming a little underneath him as your toes curled. Your walls clench onto him so tightly, barely even making space for him yet he continues anyway, your pussy squelching loudly with his long thrusts. "Oh my gooood." You moan lowly, throwing your head back in ecstasy, the discomfort finally slipping away. Your mouth hangs wide open, breathing heavily while he sets the most perfect pace.

"Shit, you feel me deep in this pussy, angel?" He asks, putting his hand right on your stomach, pressing down a little. Your breath catches in your throat, his hand on your stomach making you feel his big dick dragging back and forth in your walls even more. Both of your hands struggle to settle on where to rest, going from gripping his shoulders, to the sheets, his arms, his back. "Fuuuck! Yes, daddy!" You moan, your legs already trembling. Both of your gaze's meet, looking at each other with eyes completely clouded over with lust. He looks so damn good over you, his earring slightly swaying, and his muscles tensing and contracting with each movement he makes. Leaning himself up off of you, he uses the back of your knees to keep you pinned down, picking up the pace as his thrusts become harder.

Instantly your hands settle on gripping the sheets, crying out loudly, and arching your back off the bed. Your legs fight with his hands, testing his grip as they squirm and wriggle around aimlessly. Since he had edged you so much earlier, you're even more sensitive than usual. "I'm-I'm gonna c-cum!" You whimper in a high pitch, squeezing your eyes closed as your feel yourself quickly colliding with your first orgasm. Hanma lets go of one your legs, wrapping his hand around your neck, choking you while pounding his hips into you harder. "Yes daddy, yes, uugh shhiiit!" You cry out loudly, the feeling of his hand gripping your throat only making your pussy clench around him harder.

"Look at me when you cum, I wanna see those pretty eyes." He commands, his gaze fixed on you, taking in every single little thing. Your walls flutter wildly as you try to keep your eyes open, coating his length with a sloppy mix of cum and your cream.

Nothing but high pitched ah's and mewls leave your lips, feeling your whole body shake and twitch hard from the intensity of your orgasm. He was making it last longer, keeping that same perfect pace and angle that has him hitting so deep. "Mmm, so fuckin' sexy." He hums, watching your eyes roll back.

He slows to a stop as you finally come down from your orgasm, panting heavily as he lets go of your throat. Flipping you over he lifts you up by your hips, face down ass up. His hands run along your ass then up your back, making you moan softly as a sensual shiver runs down your spine from his touch. Leaning up, he slips back inside you, letting out a deep groan as his hands grip your hips tightly. His strokes are so long, hard, and deep, roughly hitting against your g-spot every single time.

"Oh my god, fuck! Yes yes!" You cry out loudly, gripping the sheets and pulling. "You look so good takin' this dick, angel. How's it feel?" He purrs lowly, breathing heavier as he pounds you from the back. "S-so gooood! 'S so big daddy!" You whimper, voice shaky from the impact of his hips against your ass. He moans in response, grabbing your ass and smacking each cheek hard. You cry out loudly, feeling your walls clench around him tighter when he did that.

"You're shakin' so much. Gonna cum again?" He murmurs sensually. You can't even respond anymore, nothing but loud moans fly past your lips, as drool from the corner of your mouth drops a bit on the sheets. Another orgasm shoots through your body, cum dripping along his dick and down onto the bed. Hot tears pool around your eyes, threatening to fall down your cheeks. Hanma doesn't bother to let you ride it out slowly, he keeps his thrusts steady and hard, forcing a second orgasm right on top of the previous one. You literally scream, your body quickly being overwhelmed by the intensity. "Damn, you're cummin' back to back for me, baby?" He moans deeply.

"I-I caaan't! Please..." You shudder so violently, your voice shook with every word like you were being tased.

"Can't what?" Hanma teases.

"S-slow down! Go-..go slower!" You stutter badly, regaining your hands grip on the sheets in front of you and attempting to pull yourself away from his relentless thrusts.

"'S it too much?" He asks innocently, his voice faux comforting. His hands grab onto your wrists, holding them back behind you like reigns as he fucks you rougher. This only made you cry harder, your arms shifting any kind of way to get out of his grip. Something about his thrusts made you feel different. Your pussy was sounding even sloppier now, and you could feel the cord in your core tightening up all over again, but this time much more intensely. You begged and whined for him to slow down or give you just a second to recompose, yet he just encourages you to take it. Your eyes roll back again, feeling yourself starting to really, really lose it.

"Oh my god, I'm cumming!" You announce shakily, loud ah's following shortly after as the cord finally snaps. You feel like you went and blacked out as you screamed, feeling like you just peed on yourself. Hanma made you squirt like a fountain on his dick, your juices trailing down your legs and splashing a bit against your ass as he keeps stroking. "Shit baby, you're makin' such a fuckin' mess. Gonna make me cum already." He groans watching you twitch and cry. His words didn't even register to you, you could only feel as a few moments later he pulls out, cumming right on your ass.

It takes you a second to realize what even happened as you come back to your senses. Your body flops down onto the bed lazily, still shaking violently while you pant. Your body was fried, you couldn't even move, and your mind was so fuzzy. Hanma laid next to you, the two of you breathing heavily together.

Finally you looked over at him, making instant eye contact with each other with the same sex-dazed expression. There's a few seconds of silence between you, nothing but the vibey music still playing in the background.

"That was-.."

The both of you speak at the same time, making each other laugh lightly. "Lemme clean you up." He murmurs, getting up from the bed and heading over to the bathroom. You sigh deeply, wearily scooting up to rest your head on the pillows that smell just like him. Hanma comes back shortly, hovering over you and wiping you down with a warm wash cloth. Chill bumps appear all over your body, the cool air finally starting to get to you now that your body's cooled down.

"Thank you." You mutter, turning your head to look at him. He responds with a kiss, planting his lips onto yours softly. You moan tiredly, placing a hand on his cheek before you pull away. In the few moments of silence, your eyes narrow skeptically as you notice him start grinning rather deviously at you.

"What?" You finally ask.

"Wanna go for round two?" He says excitedly, climbing on top of you.

"What?!" You scoff, looking up at him absolutely dumbfounded. "You heard me." He chuckles, tossing the wash cloth somewhere random while leaning down and planting wet kisses all over your neck. He's really deadass!

"Oh hold on, wait! I-I cannot-

You cut yourself off with a gasp, feeling him place your already exhausted legs over his shoulders.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hanma's grip on your ass tightens, picking up the pace as he bounces you on his cream coated dick.

"Uugh! Right there, right there! Daddyyyyy, oh my gooood!" You wail, squeezing your eyes closed as you cum for the fourth time in this position. He has you in his arms, both legs hanging over his arms as he lifts you up and down using his grip on your ass, standing near the bed.

You've never been in this position before but it instantly became a top favorite. The way it's just so nasty and loud, your skin slapping against his with every bounce. Then it's the way you're completely at his mercy, completely unable to move or get away. You're nothing but a little cock sleeve in this position, legs dangling in his strong arms as he uses you. Your nails dig into his shoulders, throwing your head back as you feel him bring you into another orgasm.

"Ah shit, I'm close." He cusses breathily, his grip tightening. Right after you he finally reaches his climax, pulling out and cumming against your achy core. He lays you down on the bed, lazily throwing himself on top of you, soft puffs of air hitting against your neck from his panting. The two of you stay like that for a while, trying to slow your heart rates down while basking in the way the the both of you completely wore each other out.

Hanma is by far the best you've ever had.

A/N🧚🏾‍♀️: Thank y'all so much for reading! I really threw my back into this chapter for y'all🥹 It's so encouraging to know that you guys really enjoy my stories and look forward to the next chapters. Feel free to comment any thoughts or inbox me too! I love hearing from y'all!

P.S: Don't worry I'll have Chapter 6 out next week ♡

#strawberryfairi🧚🏾‍♀️#black fem reader #shuji hanma #shuji hanma x black fem reader #shuji hanma x reader smut #shuji hanma x black fem reader smut #i threw my coochie into this #a mile away #black female reader #black female writer #smut #tokyo rev smut

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mariaofdoranelle · 1 year

Text

Look at Us Now — Ch. 2

Fic masterlist

Thank you for all the love on the first chapter!! I hope you like this update <33

Warnings: language, parents fighting, Fenrys

Rowan heard the chorus of Fenrys’ students before he even got to the place.

“Thank you… Moonbeam!”

He stopped for a second and then hurried up, curious to know what was going on in that class.

When Rowan graduated as an engineer, it didn’t even cross his mind that he’d end up working as a drill instructor for the Air Force. And liking it.

It started organically. His subordinates were trained well enough, but something was off with their coordination while marching, or sometimes they thought it was okay to show up with a stubble. Rowan was doing this job even before being offered the position, or so Colonel Darrow pointed out a few years ago.

It wasn’t what he’d planned for himself, but it worked out perfectly. Rowan was reaching the age of settling down. His cousin Sellene was currently facing a difficult pregnancy, and the thought of being deployed and leaving someone at home like that didn’t sit well with him. Instructing new recruits gave him the stability he wanted without having to leave the Air Force. It wasn’t perfect, but it was exactly what Rowan needed.

His current issue wasn’t the newbies, though. It was the instructor.

“Thank you… Moonbeam!”

Fenrys was sat on a chair, grinning like Hellas himself while all of his students were shouting “Thank you… Moonbeam!” while doing push-ups.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Rowan whisper-yelled so only Fenrys could hear.

His friend turned to him smiling, unfazed. “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m training my little munchkins.”

Unbelievable.

Fenrys was fucking unbelievable.

“So you’re telling me that you borrowed my drive last minute for your class,” Rowan snarled, “Only to get here and teach my class instead?”

“But it’s the military! Exercising is everyone’s class.” He did a double-take on Rowan’s dissatisfied face and continued, “I went through hell as a newbie, it’s really fun to do the same to them. It’s a psychology thing, you should look it up online.”

“You’re supposed to be teaching them gun safety.” Rowan took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “Starting tomorrow, if I hear a word that you taught them something that doesn’t involve guns, and safety—“

“Okay, okay.” Fenrys waved him off. “There’s no need to snitch me to Salvaterre. Let me fix this.”

Before Rowan could stop him and say he didn’t have time left to start his actual class, Fenrys turned to the 40 new recruits who were still chanting Thank you, Moonbeam and shouted, “Okay, instead of my name, you’ll say Whitethorn. Now!”

“Thank you… Whitethorn!”

Rowan stared at them speechless. Whenever he thought Fenrys couldn’t be more unserious, his friend outdid himself.

“Thank you… Whitethorn!”

”That’s not what I asked you to do at all, Lieutenant.” Rowan added, a hint of resignation in his voice. Sometimes giving up was the smart thing when it came to Fenrys.

“You deserve it. By the way, did I tell you…” he trailed. “Fuck, I lost count. How many push-ups do you think they’ve done already?”

“One more reason you should stick to your job. You suck at doing mine.”

Fenrys chuckled. “You little shit.” Then turned to the recruits again. “Galathynius!” Fenrys shouted. “I want push-ups, jumping jacks and crunches. I want twen-“ He sneaked a glance at Rowan. “Thirty of each! You’re counting for me this time.”

“Yes, sir!”

Rowan’s whole body froze.

He knew that voice. Rowan had long, wet daydreams and nighttime fantasies about that same voice saying Yes, sir to him again, but in a completely different tone and situation. He never thought he’d see her again.

His heartbeat was going a mile a minute when he slowly turned around, and there she was. Fierce blue eyes already trained on him. Rowan forced himself to look back at Fenrys.

“Did you say Galathynius?”

“Oh, that’s what I was going to tell you!” His friend’s eyes sparkled like they did every time he had good gossip. “She’s the class’ nepo baby. Brigadier Galathynius’ niece.”

Oh, that’s great.

Fucking a student was completely against his moral code as an instructor, but Rowan wouldn’t blame himself since it happened before he knew anything. That student’s uncle happened to be the man with highest rank working inside this Air Force base, but if nothing happened in the six weeks following Aviator’s Ball, it wouldn’t happen now.

These weren’t Rowan’s biggest issue.

His biggest issue was wanting to do it again. Which was completely off-limits.

“Rowie, you listening?”

He wasn’t, and Fenrys knew that.

“Sure. Go on.”

“So I’m trying not to be too hard on her because I really want her to put in a good word for me—“

Rowan’s eyes bulged. “I cannot believe you’re giving her special treatment because of her connections to the brigadier—“

“What?” Fenrys barked a laugh. “No! I’m not giving her special treatment because of her great-uncle.” He tilted his head. “He kinda gives a daddy vibe, though… but I’m doing it because her boyfriend’s playing hard to get.”

Rowan could swear his heart stopped for a beat. “Her what?”

Fenrys let out a heavy sigh. “Her boyfriend, Dorian. Hottest man on earth. We matched on Tinder a few months ago. I just explained you the whole thing.”

Months ago. Plural. Which means they were already dating when Rowan slept with her.

Did Aelin use him to cheat on her boyfriend that night? Rowan had vivid memories of her saying she wasn’t married.

He sensed the building ache of his fingernails digging into his palms, hands clutching into a fist.

She didn’t exactly lie, but he felt as if she did.

Rowan should forget about Aelin and her boyfriend. They weren’t his problem.

“So he’s cheating on her?” Rowan asked.

Fenrys shrugged. “He told me they’re in an open relationship, but I don’t really care. If I’m nice, she’ll like me. If she likes me, she won’t mind me fucking her boyfriend.”

“I don’t think that’s how relationships work, Fenrys.”

Relationship. The word felt heavier than Rowan predicted before he said it.

“You have very little faith in what a pretty face and dazzling personality like mine can do, Rowie.”

Forcing himself to not slump his posture in front of the new recruits, Rowan just closed his eyes and lowered his head, rubbing one temple. He felt tired. He didn’t want to argue with Fenrys now about something as meaningless as this.

“Just give me the flash drive, Fen.”

He turned to the newbies again. “Galathynius! I need the flash drive on the desk near the door.”

Great.

If Rowan didn’t play his cards right, he’d have ten weeks of hell ahead of him. A lifetime, depending on which part of the Air Force Aelin was going to after her basic training.

Analyzing her stance now, she seemed a lot sharper the day they met. Recruit training did that to people, though, and the first few weeks always felt particularly ruthless.

Rowan had an extended hand, ready to get this over with, when she shook it.

She shook his hand instead of giving him the flash drive.

Rowan dropped her hand as if it’d burned him.

“Ten on the floor.”

Aelin blinked. “What?”

“Ten push-ups on the floor, Galathynius! Now!” Rowan shouted.

He was right on track, considering this is the same treatment he usually gave to the other recruits. She was supposed to salute him, not make physical contact. These were the rules, and tough was part of the job. Rowan wasn’t teaching children, he didn’t need to be soft.

Aelin didn’t think so, from what he saw as she rose up from the floor. Her fierce eyes were burning into him, eyebrows scrunched.

Rowan would be lying if he said it didn’t send a thrill through his spine.

He didn’t acknowledge it, though. Just grabbed his flash drive and left.

He had been dreaming about another man’s girlfriend. For six weeks. It didn’t sit well with him. Staying the hell away from Aelin Galathynius. That’s what he needed to do.

Rowan flexed his hand, still feeling her touch against it.

Today’s reaction was just the shock of seeing her again, ignoring Aelin would be easy. If he kept it together, he could finish these ten weeks and walk out like this never happened.

“Look, Dada, I ate all the broccoli.”

Rowan kissed the crown of his daughter's head, trying to give her attention while low-key freaking out. "Well done, Mai."

He had completely forgotten to buy Maisie's strawberry yoghurt. Should he go to the store with her and destroy today’s sleeping routine? Ask to borrow some from Aelin's and destroy his pride? Or maybe not get the yoghurt at all and destroy his sanity tomorrow morning, when she inevitably throws a tantrum.

The latter wasn't an option, though. Mais already had a hard time before going to school, she deserved that strawberry yoghurt.

"Daddy, the ice cream?" she asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"What do you mean?"

Maisie sighed, as if she was explaining something obvious. "I was a good girl and ate all the vegetables. Now you give me ice cream."

Aelin.

This new rule had Aelin Galathynius written all over it.

Rowan took a deep breath. “Mais…” he trailed, trying to think of a good way to explain this to her. “I can’t give you ice cream every time you eat your vegetables. It’s not good for your body.”

"Daddy."

"What?"

"That's not showing love."

Rowan pinched his lips together, somewhere between frustrated and amused. Getting cranky on a sugar withdrawal and arguing with him. Her mother’s daughter through and through.

"I don't even have ice cream here, Mais."

"We can walk to Mommy's. She always has ice cream.”

He knew it.

Maisie crossed her arms. "I'm going to count to three. One... two... Don't let me get to three, or...”

"Or...?" Rowan raised an eyebrow.

Maisie's little green eyes drifted around as she thought of an answer, then she shouted, "Or I'll call you!"

It was like time had stopped, his chest feeling tighter each millisecond.

I’ll call you.

He and Aelin argued about their calls every week, but he was so careful about not letting their daughter listen to their fights. How in hell did she pick up on that?

"Honey, I'm home!" A familiar voice sing-sang from the living room, making Maisie leave the kitchen running.

Rowan relaxed for a minute, sighing. This wouldn't solve any of his issues, but it was enough to distract his daughter from the ice cream issue.

He could hear Maisie squealing before he got to the living room. Fenrys was checking the mail Rowan left on a side table while Dorian gave Mais his trademark bear hug.

“You need to change your address at work,” Rowan quietly complained as they watched Dorian pretend to wrestle Maisie and roar like a bear while she shrieked with laughter.

It took Rowan a long time to adjust to Dorian being around, but as Aelin always says, every kid needs a cool, rich uncle with no kids. He was good with Maisie, so Rowan sucked it up until he got used to it.

“You know I won’t,” Fenrys finally answered.

Rowan looked at his friend dead in the eye. “You’ll come here to get your mail for the rest of your life?”

“You’re so dramatic, Rowie.”

“You moved out years ago.”

“And you love my visits,” Fenrys cheered. “So does your little munchkin.”

Well, Rowan had begrudgingly accepted that Fenrys wouldn’t change his address at work before he retired. But Maisie? She loved those two idiots. Probably because they had the same level of maturity as her.

An idea struck Rowan, so he quickly gripped Fenrys’ arm and leaned closer.

“Do you think you can watch Maisie for a minute?” Rowan quietly asked. “I just need to get her yoghurt—“

“Babe, we’re babysitting tonight!” He screamed to Dorian, then crouched on Maisie’s direction. “Munchkin, why don’t you show me your new toys?”

Rowan had no expectations of those two making Maisie follow through her nighttime routine, but this would do. He quickly thanked Fenrys and Dorian, then left to the store closest to the Air Force housing complex he lived in.

Since Maisie was relatively well-assisted, he decided to wander through the aisles and get a thing or another that was also running out.

Rowan could swear he saw a very familiar blur of golden hair, but it was gone before he knew it.

He was thinking about getting some new foods and seeing if Maisie accepted them. He’d recently found a pediatric dietitian online that gave great advice—

Right there, examining every bottle of wine available.

He frowned. Why was Aelin buying wine on a Thursday? Did she have plans for the weekend? That couldn’t be, this was her turn to spend the weekend with Maisie.

Rowan was ready to go talk to her and talk about today’s ice cream issue, but he saw her peeking at him from the corner of her eye and focusing back on the wine.

Oh. That’s how it’s going to be, then.

Well, Rowan didn’t care. She didn’t want to talk to him? Fine. He was busy anyway. They would talk tomorrow after pick up.

He went to the cereal aisle. He got Maisie’s favorite, but what if he tried giving her a more nutritious one?

He started reading the nutrition facts. Picks one up, too much sodium, puts it down. Picks another one, too little vitamins and minerals, puts it down as well.

“Tough choice, huh?”

“Sure.”

This one seemed nice. It also helped that there were some cartoon animals on the box, so—

Rowan felt a hand gently stroking his arm, which made him jerk it away and snap his gaze to the person next to him. A woman. Pale blond hair, pale blue eyes.

“Do you need help to choose?” She asked.

Rowan relaxed. She probably worked here, even though she wasn’t wearing the staff uniform. Maybe something happened with it? He tried to remember himself that some work environments were a lot more forgiving than the military.

“I’m trying to choose a cereal.”

“I always pick that one,” she said before pointing at a box near them.

Organic, vegan and gluten-free. There was no ice cream in the world that could make Maisie eat that.

Rowan grimaced. “I’m not sure my daughter would like this one. I’m actually between these.” He showed her the two boxes and its nutrition facts.

“You have a kid. Cute.” She sneaked her hand on his arm again. What was wrong with the staff today? “Let me show you something…”

Then the inappropriate employee showed him an app that scanned the bar code and rated the food from zero to one hundred.

Rowan’s eyes widened.

This was fucking genius.

He thanked the woman and started scanning everything.

She stayed close for a while, then went away once she was sure Rowan was well-assisted by the app.

Right now, Rowan was no better than Maisie when she got a new toy. How had he never read about this app?

He scanned some to decide, and others just to be judgmental and prove his point. He knew those colorful little things were worse than sugar cubes. He should tell Lorcan know about this app—

“Where’s Maisie?”

Aelin snapped him out of his thoughts, squinting at him with crossed arms.

Oh, she wanted to talk to him now?

“At home. With Dorian and Fenrys.”

She looked unimpressed. “Well, I didn’t know you liked to leave your child to flirt with other women.”

“Are you kidding me?” His mouth opened, then closed again. “I was talking to an employee.”

Aelin’s eyebrows rose up. “You want me to believe that? She clearly doesn’t work here!”

Rowan frowned. Was Aelin telling the truth? The arm thing was weird, maybe she was trying to flirt. Over cereal?

“You know what? I’ll tell you if you tell me what’s all this wine for.” He pointed to her small cart.

“I do not need to tell you what I’m doing during my days off!”

She only wanted him to question what she was doing on her days with Maisie? Sure, he’d do exactly that. “Fine. Then at least tell me why does Maisie think she will get ice cream every time she eats vegetables.”

“Because she’s a kid! She’ll try anything to make you do what she wants.”

Rowan crossed his arms. “You’re telling me you have nothing to do with that?”

Her mouth fell open. “That’s exactly why I don’t want to talk to you between pick-ups. I need a fucking break.”

Rowan let out an incredulous laugh. “A break from your daughter?”

“No, a break from you.”

Rowan pinched the bridge of his nose. Of course. How could he ever forget that Aelin needed space because he was the cause of all her issues?

“Could you please…” he breathed deep. “Just please, give her less ice cream?”

She inched closer. “Could you please, just please, not question the way I take care of my child every fucking day?”

“I don’t—“

“Yes, you do! She’s four-year-old girl who threw a tantrum because she wants ice cream. It’s not rocket science.”

Rowan looked away for a second, trying to calm down and talking in a gentle tone this time. “Okay, but maybe she wouldn’t do such a big tantrum if she had healthier dessert.”

Aelin frowned. “Healthy dessert?”

“Yeah, like grapes, watermelon—“

“FRUIT? You’re giving Maisie fruit and telling her it’s dessert!?”

“Fruit is dessert.”

“When it’s on top of a pie, Rowan.” Aelin’s eyes bulged like he’d just told her the most absurd thing.

Rowan bit his lip, trying not to laugh at her observation. They had talked about this many times already, and he still didn’t know if he found her stubbornness on this subject more comical or frustrating. Probably the latter, at least depending on the day.

He glanced at his phone. Fuck, it was so late. Time really flies with that food-ranking app.

“I have to go now, but I’ll call you—“

Aelin shook her head. “Personal space. Boundaries. We just talked about that.”

Rowan pinched his lips together, then remembered Maisie’s words from earlier. I’ll call you.

“Tomorrow after pick up, then?”

“Sure.” Aelin nodded and went away.

He did a mental note to see if someone could watch Maisie tomorrow evening. They’d probably end up having a huge fight about needing to have fewer fights. It’d be a shitshow.

The real shitshow was getting Maisie to go to bed, though. At least that was how Rowan felt when he was finally ringing Aelin for her goodnight call with Mais. He didn’t know what felt heavier, his limbs or his eyelids.

After grocery shopping, Rowan arrived home to the loudest state his home has ever been. Maisie’s squeals sounded louder than the TV. There was half-eaten chocolate in the couch. Fenrys was holding Maisie by one arm and one leg, spinning her sideways by the sound of *You Spin Me Round* while Dorian filmed everything.

Right before bedtime.

Rowan immediately felt his stomach fold into a tight knot inside.

This was every parent’s nightmare.

The rest of the evening went on exactly the way Rowan predicted the moment he stepped his foot into the house.

Maisie didn’t want Fenrys and Dorian to go. She cried when Rowan told her it was time to wind down and stop playing. Her uncles told him they didn’t bring the chocolate, but Maisie refused to tell him where she got it from.

By the time Rowan almost literally wrangled his daughter into bed, he was afraid he’d sleep in her tiny bed during story time before she did. It happened before.

He was now outside Maisie’s bedroom, giving her privacy with her mom. Aelin would complain about his calls the whole week, but Rowan was a dead man if he didn’t call her to say good night to her daughter.

“Daddy?” Maisie had her hand outstretched when he peeked into the room. “Mommy wants to talk to you.”

Rowan forced himself not to sigh, squared his shoulders and grabbed that phone. An officer going into battle.

He felt too drained to have another fight.

“Just so you know, I don’t give her ice cream every day.” Aelin’s voice sounded a little too quiet, or maybe it sounded like this to him because she wasn’t screaming.

He relaxed. ”Okay. Good.”

“I don’t keep track of how many times I give her ice cream, but it’s probably a lot less than you think.”

“That’s good to know. Thanks.” Rowan meant it. Not knowing or not being able to control some things left him more uneasy than he’d like to admit. Aelin probably knew that.

The silence stretched a little, and he tried to figure out if there was something else he needed to warn Aelin about.

“Good. Rowan, I need to—“

“I found some illicit chocolate today,” Rowan interrupted. “I think Maisie found your new stash.”

Aelin sighed. “That kid is outsmarting me.”

“She is.” He snorted.

“Rowan.”

“What?”

“I need to go.”

“Sure. See you at the pickup.”

“‘Kay, bye.” She hung up when the silence stretched for too long.

Rowan put his phone down and managed to lay on Maisie’s tiny bed. She hugged him, but only settled after squirming a little.

“I miss Mommy.”

“You’ll see her tomorrow.” It was a common thing, Maisie missing one parent while staying with the other. The trick was to acknowledge his daughter’s feelings, but not prompting her further enough to start a meltdown.

“She gives better cuddles.”

Curious, he chuckled and asked, “Is that so?” He’d never not be amused at his daughter’s bluntness.

Maisie nodded. “Mommy’s all squishy and comfortable.” Then she poked his abs so hard he grimaced.

He wasn’t focusing on Maisie’s sudden show of strength, though. He was currently fighting the wave of nostalgia flooding him after his daughter’s comment. Rowan used to know Aelin’s body like a kid knows their favorite toy, and he wouldn’t call it squishy. It must’ve changed after the pregnancy. He wouldn’t know.

He forced himself to focus back on Maisie, who was still frowning with her head laying on his chest.

“You can’t comment on your mom’s body like this, Mais.”

Her frown deepened. “But she comments on mine!”

Rowan held on a sigh. She was a very argumentative little girl, this one. Much like her mother. The ‘but she’s your parent’ explanation was never well-received, so he had to try another tactic.

“But she’s a doctor. She can comment on people’s bodies, it’s her job.”

“I don’t like it when she says I have baby cheeks. I’m not a baby.”

Rowan snorted. “So you’re reading on your own like a big girl tonight?”

Her eyes went wide. “Daddy, you’re mean! I can’t read.”

He chuckled and kissed that light blonde hair. “What am I reading to you, then?”

“No reading!” She exclaimed, “I want a story from your head.”

Rowan hummed and scratched the back of his neck, stalling. God, he was terrible at this.

“There was a family of birds—“

“Doggies.”

“Okay, doggies. There was a family of doggies. There was the Mama Doggie, the Dadda Doggie and Doggie.”

“Doggie needs a name, Daddy.”

“Okay, the dog’s name is—“

“Fleetfoot. Now tell me the rest of the story.”

And Rowan would do, if Maisie hadn’t slept halfway through it.

Which left him time to think about his day. And Aelin. And how they needed to talk about what Maisie said today during dinner. Rowan already knew what he had to do, though. He needed to distance himself from Aelin. Boundaries, like she always says. Forget about the fact that this had already been his goal for a good part of the last five years.

TAG LIST

@aelinchocolatelover

@autumnbabylon

@bookcide

@cookiemonsterwholovesbooks

@courtofjurdan

@dreamer-133

@elentiyawhitethorn

@elizarikaallen

@fangirlprincess09

@goddess-aelin

@leiawritesstories

@rowanaelinn

@superspiritfestival

@swankii-art-teacher

@s-uppertime

@thegreyj

@wishfulimaginings

#rowaelin #throne of glass fanfic #throne of glass #aelin x rowan #aelin galathynius #rowan whitethorn #rowan and aelin #look at us now #enemies to lovers

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coeluvr · 1 year

Text

Crown of Ashes and Flames — Update 18/02/2023

Hello, everyone! I hope everyone is doing well. I didn't do an update in January because of the demo launch and I had nothing to say and I almost forgot to do it this month since progress is still slow but here we go.

I have started on Chapter 2 it's currently only around 5k words and a lot of it is very unserious. Honestly, very excited about this chapter it'll be less angsty, I think. At least it'll be cute because my Fadiya is in the story now. I decided to do 2 timeskips instead of just 1 straight to age 14 instead of flashbacks to keep it more linear. Here's a sneak peek to my drafting process because why not, things will probably change by the time I'm writing these parts.

Patreon short stories are done yay for me because I can somehow never decide what to write for the short stories but it's okay as long as I pull through and deliver 💔

Thank you to everyone for the support on the demo launch, I honestly feel so lucky that you guys liked it and I don't know, it feels very unreal that so many people liked it?? It's just mind blowing to me.

Thank you, once again, for your patience and support. It means the world to me. 💗

#crown of ashes and flames #crownofashesandflames if #crownofashesandflames #interactive fiction #interactive story

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bebe-tatsu · 10 months

Text

oh god (aka new drawing to celebrate new chapter?)

i feel so empty not updating

i got serious back pain and rib pain (i'm old but i'm not THAT old why do i have so much pain)

so that made me sad and burn out and uninspired

pretty much hanging out in r/saitatsumaki and looking at all the saitatsu art was my only enjoyment in this fandom.

but i made something because i got so inspired by @jumi-shipper's fic LOL in her fic tats made a hair transition to escape the public which made saitama reflect that he liked her green hair better

it's so unserious SORRY i love saitama getting pissy over hair

i remember genos had so much volume (and layer and texture) on his hair too. must be sad for saitama getting reminded of that every waking minute of his life

#one punch man #tatsumaki #saitama #saitatsu #saitamaxtatsumaki #saitama x tatsumaki #saimaki #also we may not know when tatsumaki might come back so i want to draw her more

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boxwinebaddie · 3 months

Note

ngl you spoiling your fanfics on here instead of writing them is kind of a cop out :/

first of all,

congrats on being the second hate message i've ever gotten!

secondly?

Fuck You <3 :)

thirdly?

you can call me a looooot of things anon, but do not Ever!!!! EVER!!! call me lazy. you wrote me 27 words just now and i have written over 100k in under a year spanning over two extremely detailed multi chapter fanfictions...like? and that doesn't even include this tumblr which goes back 42 PAGES OF VERY LONG ASK MESSAGES.

most of them being extensively thought out lore and headcannons about two fictional boy best friends on a television show that is so unserious that over half of those hcs had to be crafted around straws and legitmized by hours/days/weeks/months of research by me???

because you guys send me "hi uncle nina, what is kyle's fav color?" and i could just send! it's blue <3 tysm for asking! :) but i Never answer my ask memes like that and again??? there is 42 pages of evidence to support that baby, so good luck fighting that fight! it's never just blue it's always Kyle's Favorite Color Is Blue BECAUSE and then i go on for several paragraphs about why kyle's favorite color is blue, i give you everything that i know about that subject. Everything.

like, i feel like some of the ask memes that i write are so detailed and extensive that they might be longer than one shots people are writing? this one about each boys favorite season was very labor intensive and i put it out in one day...uuuuugh!!! on the subject of one shots and actually writing? i licherally said i am still willing to do one shot requests or post pieces of things i had inspiration for? i just didn't want to promise you actual chapter updates because i didn't want to let you down??? like i specifically wanted to avoid this :(((

i'm actually writing the ask memes because i feel like it is the medium where i have the strongest chance at providing you with well written content, like, i could go back to updating but they would be rushed, poorly written and passionless. i put like...a lot of my heart into these.

and, my love, my hate, lmaooo, i could just not do that.

like, i legitimately have no reason to keep doing this.

i could delete this whole tumblr with 42 pages of content that i am sure people come back and reread because they ask me not to delete stuff and ask me where it went. i could also private both my fics on ao3 or i could delete them entirely...and it would be no sweat off my back, tbh. like i said, because my imposter syndrome is so bad and i was so stressed out writing my fics...i can't read them anymore. i am moderately embarassed by them and IF I HAD TIME...i would rewrite them. i would make them so much better...i wish i could.

because i DONT have time? i work a 7-3 job and i come home and answer these...i am exhausted and i answer these? and i do it because its fun yeah, but i do it because i care? about my work?

but i Specifically care about all of you. :((((

that's why this seriously hurts my fucking feelings and sucks? because the reason my fics stay up and the reason i answer these is because i love you very much and care about you getting the answers that you deserve and it makes me sad i can't write them better for u.

i write these answers because every single day, like, i shit you not, i got at least 8 asks yesterday about various things, you all take the time and share your hearts and minds with me. because i have angels in my ask box who write to me, who take the time to read my stuff and ask me questions about it, like...specifically rm?

which, not to toot my own horn baby, but it's a lot easier to get people to content about the regular ship in a fandom ( which is still not easy ) but i got multiple people invested in an AU FANFICTION with almost no cushion from the fandom, the only help i got/boost for exposure, is that i had clout from writing a different successful fanfic??? which i literally wrote anonymously? it was my first fanfic!!!!

fight me!!!! lol!!!!! show yourself, coward!!!! you charlatan!!!

tell me that you did the same, baby!!!! that's what i THOUGHT!!!

but yeah, i do this because i care about y'all and i care DEEPLY about the things that i write and that they are quality. for example, oh my god just talking about this makes me depressed...when i wrote rm4 WHICH I WROTE UNDER DURESS, EXTREME DURESS, both physical and mental? which...i loved rm4. almost all of those hcs and metaphorical things in there, i was very, very proud of.

anyways, i wrote like 16k and it was taking me Too Long in my fucked up girl brain to do it on my computer and because i was excited to get that chap you'd all been waiting for out to you and because for some reason i felt Obligated to work fast because of the stress of everyone waiting for my work, i, ON MY CELLPHONE, highlighted basically every single word, all 16k of them and meticulously formatted from like 7PM at night until 6AM in the morning the next day. i had THREE monster energies and i considered buying a 5hr energy AND POURING IT INTO A MONSTER ENERGY???? that is how fucked up my mind got trying to put out my fanfics and...

during the last 100 or so words...because i was so tired, i accidentally highlighted my whole chapter, finished formatting, felt super relieved when i clicked the Save button only to realize...

every single italics was gone.

every single one...italics i'd spent hours on...every single one was gone forever. i could not retrieve it. it was lost...all that work. :( and it's kind of embarassing, but i cried for a very long time about that. like i posted this chapter that i cared about and i was...super depressed. not even because i worked hard on formatting it for hours and all through the night ( which i have done for over 12 other chapters )

...but because i realized that you guys would be reading something with no italics. that you would be reading something that was not as good as it could have been. i was sad because you were going to read something that because you are so wonderful, i was sad to send you. i was so upset, actually, about you reading something subpar that i considered...reformatting the entire thing...i....this fucking sucks.

this makes me really sad. this makes me reeeeeally fucking sad lol. like to say i don't care about all of you? to call me lazy? say this is a cop out??? like oh my GODDDD????

i am a REAL person, you guys! i fucking exist outside of this blog? people who write fanfiction do it out of love. it's a labor of love, y'all. i have a real job. i do this for zero dollars and zero cents and i do it every single day like? fanfiction authors do not owe you anything.

but...i love you? lol? that is lame but i legitimately worry abt all of you. like even you weird, mean anon? because i assume even tho you sent hate mail you did it because you love my work? maybe? because you had to be upset enough about this, or enjoy my work enough, to be sad that you aren't getting more of it? which LITERALLY YES YOU ARE LIKE!!!! YOU ARE GETTING SO MUCH!!! we could have nothing.

i am not writing anymore because of how badly it effected my mental health -- also, very cool of you to punish me for the first time i was selfish and decided to be kind to myself....in months! <3 slay! but bc i care abt my story and you guys not getting left on a cliffhanger forever and ever, i decided that i would give you everything i have.

like just that part of the ravesey hate that i wrote yesterday...that is one of four parts...of two chapters. there is easily over ten chapters left that will probably be split up like that. nevermind pep where we have at least five chapters left...and you wanted me..to write like 17 chapters??? that would take me maybe all year??? wild??? like no!!! i'm not gonna do that!!! i don't even have to do this!!!! but i want to!!!

I FUCKING LOVE YOU GUYS LIKE ITS VERY LAME TO SPEAK TO ME LIKE THIS???? I HATE THIS!!! BOOOOOO!!! TOMATO!!!

idk...i guess i'm done now. not updating you on this blog, ofc, just with this ask message. which is not going to be the last one. i will keep updating the kind and lovely people on here who have been so wonderful to me and send me faithful, excited asks everyday. those people do not deserve to be punished because you decided you wanted to be an ahole in my askbox. i am not writing for you.

thank you for supporting my work. thank you for enjoying my updates on here which -- i have been doing this for monthes with no complaints and people send me more asks everyday, so i assume we all enjoy getting them in this format? even tho its off ao3? enough to have 42 pages of asks? also i have not written for months...this is not news, i think. we knew this was coming -- needless to say, i love you very much and i don't care if this is tiring. it is worth it for you.

to those who have been kind to me, thank you very much. i love you and i hope you heal. thank you for healing me.

and you, a-hole anon????

please check yourself.

both metaphorically and into a psychiatric hospital.

cheers! <3 mazel! :)

-uncle nina

#this made me #really fucking mad #but more than that it made me really sad #like i don't have to do this you guys #i seriously don't have to do this #i do this because i love you very much #and i think you deserve answers like i could close this blog and never ever post again and you would never get closure #but i don't want that because you send so many asks so clearly you want answers to stuff #and i have so many people who are so kind 99.9% of yall are so nice to me like my readers are so nice that i am in SHOCK #like i am so sad that you think i dont work hard like #i work very hard on these? they can take me 30 mins? 3 hours? weeks? like...UGH i am sooooo this fucking sucks guys #please don't treat me like this like i want to cry #this is very mean spirited and uncool #if you don't like the way i do my thing you can click off like?#there was no reason to send me this #idk i'm...this hurt my feelings lol please do not send another content creator something like this this is very foul #this is worse than when someone said are you ever updating #the :/ face was soooooo FIGHT ME IN THE STREET #YOU WONT!!! YOU WONT BITCH!!!

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thebahwrites · 3 months

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Hope you're well, any plans to continue blood//water? Or any of your fics? I love your work and would love to see more.

The way you just got me a minute before updating house of cards 😭😭😭❤️ (overestimation, I'll update it in a few hours/tomorrow likely, ssshhh.)

BUT ALSO HI HELLO YES I'M ALIVE AND I'M SO EXCITED TO GET THIS ASK THANK YOU SO MUCH

I'm gonna drop that fic with the funniest author's note because my sickness took a funny ass turn and ANYWAY LONG STORY SHORT I WAS DYING FOR A FEW MONTHS but I'm good now!!!! And picked up on my stuff about a couple weeks ago? It's taking me a minute to like... get back on the swing of things, I got a bit rusty and being sick put me in this horrid ass slump so I'm restarting with HOCs that is like my most unserious/simpler thing so I can get back to it!

Then I have another fandom's piece I started to see if I could get back to writing, but on my list of updates, Give Your Heart A Break is after, then Killshot then Blood//Water!

BW's next chapter was left halfway through so I might get to it before though! Who knows! I'm so excited to have my braincell back and energy to write tbh!

TL;DR YES I WANNA CONTINUE EVERY FIC I STARTED, I'm not done with them! I just ended up really sick for a really long time but now I'm better! Slowly coming back to it!

but thank you so so much for asking because these really do encourage me to keep going and I'm so glad you enjoy my work ;; <3

#bah answers #me last updating house of cards: hey it'll be a week or two before i update this!#me coming back almost a year later: did you guys know a human body needs blood to survive it's crazy #top gun posting #ANYWAY BACK TO MY SHIT <3 #WHO MISSED ME

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cadybear420 · 1 month

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Cadybear's Reviews- The Billionaire's Baby

As of the day I’m posting this, this is the last series on the list of Choices stories that I’ve actually fully completed. So what does this mean for Cadybear’s Choices Reviews?

First of all, I can now upload a review (or re-review, for already-reviewed series) of a series sooner after actually completing it. While taking some time to complete a review does let me think about it more, I would prefer my reviews to be more fresh. And like I said, all reviews are subject to more updated re-reviews if necessary.

Second, there are still quite a handful of series on my tierlist where they consist of multiple books, but I haven’t played all of them– TRR, BOLAS, COP, ID, etc. Some of which are still waiting for more books. While I’d generally prefer to review by series rather than by book, I do still have these books ranked on my tierlist with all the rest, and sharing a review for them will at least provide insight to my thoughts on the books and why I gave them the ranking that I did.

So I may or may not plan to write up reviews for those kinds of books. But if I do, I’ll probably title them differently from the usual “Cadybear’s Reviews” or “Cadybear’s Brief Thoughts”. I’ll probably make them as less formally set up reviews, like a more casual text posts. We’ll see.

Third of all, as much as I love to share my thoughts on certain books, I also love to hear what other people think. So I may plan a little something bonus for the books where I’ve provided very extensive thoughts on them… stay tuned.

Welcome to the forty-first official Cadybear's Reviews! Today I'll be talking about The Billionaire's Baby, which I have ranked on the "PooPoo Tier" at 1 star out of a possible 10.

Bruhhhh. This is literally just a TNA clone but with a surrogate instead of a nanny. This is literally the pregnancy plot that PB clearly wanted to have with TNA. Yeah, I stand by my statement that if TNA wasn’t GOC LI, they’d have had Sam accidentally knock up MC at the company gala in Book 1 (hence the Jenny and Aditya subplot in Book 3, to make up for being unable to do that with MC and her LI). And I’m gonna hazard a guess that if TBB wasn’t GOC LI, they’d have had Cole accidentally knock up MC in a one-night stand in the first chapter. Granted they already did the whole “MC gets accidentally knocked up by billionaire LI” thing with BaBu Book 1 Chapter 1, but clearly that wasn’t good enough for PB since there wasn’t an affair involved, just Cassandra acting like she was supposed to be Clint’s future wife.

Okay, maybe what I’m saying might be a bit far-fetched. But I really do mean what I said about this being “TNA: Pregnancy Edition”.

Right from her very first appearance, they make LI’s current partner Daphne very irritable and callous and disagreeable, obviously so she can be a straw loser villain and make the MC seem like the “better woman” for the LI. Y’know, just like Sofia and Addison in TNA.

And of course, said LI’s current partner turns out to have been cheating on the LI all this time. Y’know, just like what happened with Sofia in TNA.

They even have Joss, a LI-gender-determinant character that MC can be flirty with a little to make the actual LI jealous. Y’know, just like Robin and Jordan in TNA.

Demi is the MC’s best friend who solely exists to churn out “le girly girl talk” exclusively about how MC totally deserves to be with the LI and to give MC the premium outfits that will totally turn on the LI. Y’know, just like Jenny in TNA.

Honestly, the only thing that’s surprised me about this book is that Joss wasn’t the one Daphne was cheating on our LI with. Which just makes it worse because now there’s just no point to Joss’s character other than to be Windows Vista Robin. Like, at least actual Robin had some actual character and point to existing in the story.

This book is just so unserious. A lot of Choices smut books try to force “true romantic feelings of love” onto couples that are clearly purely lust-based, TNA included. But this one is the motherfucking GOD of that. It puts TNA to shame in that regard.

Though, I’m gonna be honest, I think TNA as a whole was leagues better than TBB.

For one thing, TNA is at least honest about being an affair story. But I guess “The Surrogate Affair” doesn’t sound as marketable, huh? Sure, let’s instead just bait people into thinking the affair story is something actually compelling like FCL did.

For second, TNA at least had memorable characters like the Twins and Carter, and most of the other supporting characters did at least feel like actual characters. Characters like Robin, Sofia, Addison, Carter, Aditya, Paolo, even smaller ones like Sam’s parents, do genuinely stick with me. Characters like Carmen, Harrison, Joss, Collie’s parents, that one guy that Demi was crushing on… yeah you’ll probably forget they even exist barely an hour after you finish the story.

Thirdly, I can at least somewhat buy Sam admiring MC for how good she is with the twins. And their attraction to each other was more tolerable too because, as awful as MC was for pursuing Sam, I never got the feeling that she felt entitled to them. Whereas IDK what else Collie sees in MC other than “hee hoo sexy woman”, and it’s worsened by how much MC acts entitled to them, how much she goes on and on about how she should be with them instead of Daphne.

And last, the first TNA book at least plays up the affair aspect by having Sam and MC anticipate the trouble they’ll be in at the end. Books 2 and 3 were unnecessary garbage for sure, but at least during the first book, they had some sense of humility and self-awareness. TBB not only has none of that, but it thinks it has the fucking balls to throw in this end message about “remember to follow your heart”. If that isn’t just outright stating you want people to take your affair story seriously as being about true love rather than the lust-based affair it actually is, then IDK what is.

Like… overall, TNA may be pretty derivative and melodramatic too, but it’s at least fun and engaging to some degree? It has its own “so bad it’s good” charm to it. Like the writers actually cared about giving us a somewhat enjoyable affair story, even if it wasn’t very high-quality.

TBB is just… empty. The only thing it does better than TNA is that it ended after one book.

Now, this story gets a lot of understandable and deserved hate, but despite that I myself am ranking this on PooPoo Tier, I’m not even sure I can hate it because it’s just… so derivative in every way. Cheating, pregnancy, and billionaire romance is a combination that has probably been done countless times by literally every other VN app like Chapters and Episode that tries to pander to the “Facebook Moms” stereotype. I don’t even play those apps, I never have, but I’m pretty sure they’ve done this whole “OhEhmGee you’re pregnant with the baby of a sexy powerful billionaire isn’t that sooo hotttt???” thing already like a million times now. If MTFL is the equivalent to a dog eating another dog’s shit and then shitting it back out again, TBB is the equivalent to a dog eating its OWN shit, probably mixed with some other dogs’ shit too, and then shitting it all out into a great big steaming mess much worse than its predecessors.

And one of the worst things about it all is… how tragic this whole story’s existence is. The moment I heard this was about MC being a surrogate for a billionaire couple and you “uncover their scandals”, there was a small period of time when I was hopeful that this story wouldn’t be as cliched and formulaic as the title made it seem. (Of course, that short period of time ended when I learned that the LI was gonna be one of the members of the billionaire couple). Like, this could have been a story where MC doesn’t romance Collie (or even better, has both Daphne and Collie as LI options) and is a surrogate for them, but it turns into a sort of mystery story where you uncover a history of dirty scandalous secrets behind the couple, and your MC starts to feel conflicted about giving them this child and leaving said child in the hands of this couple while knowing all the shit they’ve done.

But no, we had to go with an affair story and the only “scandal” is that the billionaire couple doesn’t love each other. Oh wow, so spicy amirite? (Haha no)

So, why do I have this one in the “PooPoo Tier”? Seeing as I reserve that tier for books that actively anger me. TBB was originally ranked in the Stone Tier because of how little substance it had and how little emotion it evoked from me.

But as soulless and substanceless as it was, I eventually figured that it really did deserve to be in the worst list. Because it just does… everything wrong, from the very beginning. It baits us into thinking it’s a good story, only to give us a cheap affair story. It’s a rehash of previous, more mediocre Choices stories. It forces us to take it more seriously than it actually deserves. All of the characters are lackluster and empty.

Seriously, name me one thing that this story does right. I originally had this book on Stone Tier with books like Ms. Match, Slow Burn, Roommates With Benefits, and the whole TNA trilogy, but at least those books had some redeeming qualities. Heck, even all of the other books on PooPoo tier have some redeeming qualities. Surrender at least explored BDSM acts a bit and tried to normalize kink. FCL at least had some good energy with the road trip setting and all the different places the group explored. Untameable at least didn’t have toxic behaviors glorified as acceptable, heroic, or passable. Granted I still consider those books worse for how badly they fucked things up when they easily couldn’t have– they anger me because there are multiple points where they could have taken their story in a better direction but didn’t, and instead chose to make their story worse.

But TBB was pretty much doomed from the moment it confirmed we’d be romancing one of the members of the billionaire couple we’re a surrogate for. There’s no point of this story where it could have been even somewhat decent if they changed it, unless they just threw the whole thing out and started over from scratch.

And that’s why I think I can safely say, it’s among the worst.

#choices stories you play #choices #choices game #choices stories we play fandom #choices stories we play #the billionare's baby #the billionaire's baby #tbb #choices tbb #cadybear's reviews

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 8 months

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By: Faith Bottum

Published: Aug 19, 2023

The California State Board of Education issued on July 12 a new framework for teaching math based on what it calls “updated principles of focus, coherence, and rigor.” The word “updated” is certainly accurate. Not so much “principles,” “focus,” “coherence” or “rigor.” California’s new approach to math is as unfair as it is unserious.

The framework is voluntary, but it will heavily influence school districts and teachers around the Golden State. Developed over the past four years, it runs nearly 1,000 pages. Among the titles of its 14 chapters are “Teaching for Equity and Engagement,” “Structuring School Experiences for Equity and Engagement” and “Supporting Educators in Offering Equitable and Engaging Mathematics Instruction.” The guidelines demand that math teachers be “committed to social justice work” to “equip students with a toolkit and mindset to identify and combat inequities with mathematics”—not with the ability to do math. Far more important is teaching students that “mathematics plays a role in the power structures and privileges that exist within our society.”

California’s education bureaucrats are seeking to reinvent math as a grievance study. “Big ideas are central to the learning of mathematics,” the framework insists, but the only big idea the document promotes is that unequal outcomes in math performance are proof of a racist society.

To achieve equal outcomes, the framework favors the elimination of “tracking,” by which it means the practice of identifying students with the potential to do well. This supposedly damages the mental health of low-achieving students. The problem is that some students simply are better at math than others. To close the gap, the authors of the new framework have decided essentially to eliminate calculus—and to hold talented students back.

The framework recommends that Algebra I not be taught in middle school, which would force the course to be taught in high school. But if the students all take algebra as freshmen, there won’t be time to fit calculus into a four-year high-school program. And that’s the point: The gap between the best and worst math students will become less visible.

As written, the framework appears to violate the California Mathematics Placement Act of 2015, which requires proper courses for advanced students. A petition signed by roughly 6,000 parents and other concerned citizens may have spurred the drafters of the framework to add an amendment that reads, “Students may take Algebra 1 or Mathematics 1 in middle school.” But the completed document still pushes students not to take algebra in middle school. Instead, the framework recommends investigating whether the traditional five-year progression—Algebra I, Geometry, Algebra II, Precalculus (including trigonometry) and Calculus—could be shortened so students would still be able to take calculus during senior year. As it stands now, students must either double up or enroll in a summer course to be able to take calculus—or go to a private school, which students from underprivileged backgrounds can’t afford to do.

A growing opposition from college professors should embarrass the Board of Education. More than 400 professors were incensed by a proposed data-science course as a math track that students might follow instead of Algebra II. “For students to be prepared for STEM and other quantitative majors in 4-year colleges . . . learning Algebra II in high school is essential,” they wrote in an open letter. “This cannot be replaced with a high-school statistics or data-science course, due to the cumulative nature of mathematics.”

Brian Conrad, a mathematics professor at Stanford, has created a website to debunk the framework. He writes that the California framework “selectively cites research to make points it wants to make,” and that it “contains false or misleading descriptions of many citations from the literature in neuroscience, acceleration, de-tracking, assessments, and more.” He gets so worked up that he calls a version of chapters 6 and 7 (which respectively cover kindergarten through fifth grade and sixth through eighth grades) an “embarrassment to professionalism.”

The jargon- and acronym-laden California framework, Mr. Conrad says, “promotes a cartoon view” of how students acquire “reliable mathematical skills.” It is equivalent, he says, to supporting that children need not “learn how to spell because there are spell-checkers and spelling is not part of analytical thinking.” The five-member writing team, supervised by a 20-member oversight team, didn’t collaborate with any recognized STEM experts in industry about what training graduates will need in the workplace, Mr. Conrad says.

“Those who claim to be champions of equity should put more effort and resources into helping all students to achieve real success in learning mathematics,” Mr. Conrad says, “rather than using illegal artificial barriers, misrepresented data and citations, or fake validations to create false optics of success.” California should stop trying to turn math into a social-science course.

Considering California already underperforms compared to the nation - with an average that never approaches Proficient and barely skims over the top of Basic - the last thing it needs is more students who know more about identity politics and less about actual math.

[ Source: Nation's Report Card - Note: twelfth-grade results not available. ]

#Faith Bottum #Ian Rowe #math #mathematics #woke math #corruption of education #equity #social justice #diversity equity and inclusion #diversity #inclusion #religion is a mental illness

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ficbrish · 1 year

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ME4: Aftermath Chapter 3

"The World Ended but I'm Looking Right at You" [AO3]

Rating: Explicit, 18+ only

Tags: Post-Reaper War, Destroy Ending (Mass Effect), Shepard Survives (Mass Effect), Biotic Shepard (Mass Effect), Colonist (Mass Effect), War Hero (Mass Effect), Sentinel (Mass Effect), Paragade (Mass Effect), Novel, Slow To Update, POV Alternating, Plot, Established Relationship, Queerplatonic Relationships, Eventual Relationships, Adventure & Romance, Fluff and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Found Family, Rebuilding, Reunions, Canon-Typical Violence, Dorks in Love, I Will Go Down With This Ship

[[TW/CW: Grief, campy gore, hospitals, injuries, panic attack, unserious slut-shaming, spiteful surprise kiss]]

[Previous Chapter]

[All Chapters]

Kaidan Alenko was finally standing in the same room as Estrella Shepard. Her eyes were closed, but not shut for good. They’d open and see him, then a new chapter of their lives would begin.

Hi there. He couldn’t say. You’re alive.

Wrex propped a hand against his back so he wouldn’t fall over. He was stumbling just standing there. Chest heaving, Kaidan could only look; language was stuck.

Shepard could tell someone new had entered the room. It gave her hope, and that hope kept her eyes shut tight. The possibility, the illusion, would stay alive as long as she didn’t take a peak and kill it.

Truth was, she’d sort of given up. Two whole months had gone by. The galaxy’s comms remained mostly scrambled. No news, no Kaidan.

Was he even out there?

Kaidan was all she ever longed to see after defying death. But he hadn’t been there when she woke up cold and naked on a Cerberus slab, and he wasn’t here now. He wasn’t the one who found her in a snowbank and carried her back to life. Shepard was alone, and just like last time, she couldn’t contact him or learn anything about where he was from anyone else.

Why couldn’t his face ever be the first sight she saw?

Essie.

His voice never called her name. Always, it was someone else. Day after day, week after week, Kaidan did not appear.

Day after day.

Week after week.

Then a month tumbled into another month.

But now here he was!—And Shepard was asleep, or at least pretending to be.

Wrex whispered encouragement in Kaidan’s ear, “Go sit over there.”

A little nudge at his back sent him forward. His feet moved on their own, and that little red head got closer, larger.

He knew exactly what he was going to say, having played this moment over and over obsessively in his daydreams. He could recite his exact speech from those fantasies under any circumstance.

Except this one.

Instead, three thick words fell out of him in a voice that carried the wound of the past two months, “Is it you?”

His voice tumbled into the room and crawled into her ears.

Shepard’s dream of their reunion had also infected her head; unable to stop wishing, imagining, needing the moment he’d walk through that door. It was so loud it shouted over everything else, sending her into a constant daze even the drugs couldn’t manage.

Instead, Shepard stirred from her state and did something she never thought of.

She didn’t immediately begin weeping the moment they shared the same air; tears streaming down her skin before his presence could register in her mind. Realization did not take its time coming and then hit her like a brick wall, turning her into an inconsolable, happily sobbing mess. She did not rip free of her medical bondage, leaping at him no matter the cost, nothing else mattering besides touching him again—solid in her hands, not a memory. Nor did she see him and start laughing, unbelievably ecstatic; unable to breathe or speak out of joyous overwhelm.

She opened her eyes, saw Kaidan’s bewildered, smiling face, and—Well… she screamed! It sounded like a primal expression for the abject terror of love.

Kaidan and Wrex immediately shouted back, startled out of their skins. The commotion made the harassed hospital staff in the hall jump too. A crash sounded through the walls.

Kaidan repeated himself, “It’s you?”

Shepard couldn’t form words yet but could smile and nod.

Their fingers met before their eyes. Their gazes shifted and fixed on every part of each other but wouldn’t connect. It felt—it was real and that was too much. Their hands, finally touching, didn’t belong to them. The moment they were finally able to hold each other’s sight, Kaidan collapsed into her arms.

Wrex just stood there across the room, not knowing when or how to leave this obviously very private moment. He didn’t want to interrupt, but… Hell! He probably could’ve shouted again and they wouldn’t notice!

They certainly didn’t notice when he shut the door respectfully behind him.

Kaidan’s panting from his sprint down the hallway turned into a hyperventilated bastardization of gratitude. He hoped he wasn’t holding her too tight. Shepard couldn’t speak, unconsciously emitting something like a low moan as tears lunged out of her eyes. Together, they sounded like the most hideous, gorgeous duet to ever grace the planet. It was like wounded animals copulating. It was a birth cry and a death rattle. It was—

“Kaidan!”

“Shepard…”

Then all he could say for the next five or ten minutes was, “I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it…”

Shepard just squeezed him as tight as she could bear, grasping and feeling as much of Kaidan as she could.

* * * * * *

They were soaked, sticky, and shaking. It made a terrible, horrible squelching sound when it happened.

Miranda stood up. The door handle turned.

Jack cursed, “Fuckballs!”

Then Hansen stepped into the room.

There was only time for the beginnings of a look of surprise on his face—the biotics acted too fast! His office sparkled with blue lightning, and then everything went a hideous crimson-brown.

Delegate Hansen was a person and then he was a slushie. The combined force of what they’d each just done had literally ripped him apart. The only whole parts of him left were two dismembered legs that flew to opposite ends of his office. Jack, Miranda, and the room they were supposed to leave spotless were now covered in bits of dripping, gushing, red viscera.

Jack, breathing heavy, looked at Miranda. She was covered in sticky, thick blood staining half her face so that one side was bright and the other, dark.

“We killed him,” Miranda stated shakily.

“Whoops.”

Miranda turned to her in a fury, “Whoops? Whoops?!

“What else do you want me to say?” Jack shrugged.

“I don’t know, Jack. Not that!” Miranda panicked, “Oh god! I wasn’t trying to kill him!”

“Well, I didn’t mean to either!”

“Then what just happened?!” Miranda cried.

“I was trying to hold him on the ground!”

Miranda sobbed, “Oh god! I was pushing him back out of the door!”

“Hence, ‘whoops'," Jack explained.

Miranda dropped to her knees.

“Oh, cheer up,” Jack said, genuinely trying to comfort her, “I mean, he was scum, yeah? Look at him—or actually... don’t. Don’t look!”

“How can I do that, Jack? He’s everywhere! He’s literally everywhere. He’s in my nose, Jack! My nose!”

She sighed and reached into her back pocket. “That’s what this is for,” Jack said, holding a hankie up to Miranda’s face, “Come here.”

She wiped the globby bits off Miranda’s cheek, “See? Now isn’t that better?”

Miranda went silent for a moment, then loudly shouted, “It’s not better! He’s still dead!”

“Well, we’re not getting anywhere with that kind of attitude,” Jack sighed, standing up, “Let’s get the fuck outta here and get whatever data this prick was hiding.”

“Cerberus secrets. That databank contains everything!”

Jack helped her to her feet, but that’s where the friendliness stopped. She wouldn't let go, tightening her grip on Miranda’s wrist instead.

“What’s ‘everything’?” she asked, boring into her eyes and searching for deceptions.

“I told you—Everything!”

“Well, fuck!”

Miranda gave a sly nod, “Nixon had his tapes; Mr. Illusive has his master file.”

“What? Who’s Nixon?”

“Jack… infamous 20th century US President...”

She said nothing back.

Miranda sighed, “Well, he taped everything he said in his office. Similarly, the Illusive Man had a databank filled with every financial statement, research plan, cell—everything!”

“You’re fucking with me!” Jack scoffed, letting go of her wrist.

“He hid it behind a project he called ‘The Archive’—if you can call that hiding. They always tell on themselves; in the name of history or something.”

“Yeah, they suck their own dicks.”

“Sure, Jack.”

When they turned to leave, careful not to step on any globs of Hansen on the way out, Miranda asked, “Should we call anyone about…?”

“Eh… maybe we just close the door and let whatever happens, happen.”

Miranda hesitated for a moment, but it was a solid argument.

Being covered in blood wasn’t a good look for, well, anywhere. So, they had to sneak out of the building. They made their way to the ground floor via a side stairwell and left out of a fire exit. Then they snuck their way through town, taking the long way around to pass through streets that hadn’t been cleared of debris yet. Civilization occurred in patches these days.

They obviously had to wash off before following the data’s signal. Jack’s “place” was closer, and more discreet. Miranda had heavy objections, but her own residence was off the table. She resided in the diplomat housing across town, in an intact hotel. Being seen bloody and strolling into a building for diplomats was just as bad getting caught sneaking out of one. Besides, Hansen was her neighbor there. Someone might recognize a bit of him.

Miranda had only one thing to say when they walked into Jack’s prefab, “This place is a dump.”

And, boy, it was!

Cerberus made closets larger than this. It was a standard-issue emergency prefab, but somehow it felt smaller than others. The front door cut into the living room, which spilled into the kitchenette-ette. Miranda supposed the couch pulled out into a bed because there wasn’t anything else.

The whole thing felt like if a jail cell and a single dirty sock fucked and then morphed into a room.

“Home, sweet home, biiiitch!” Jack said, throwing her arms up in welcome.

“Sweet isn’t exactly the word…”

Miranda’s superhuman sense of balance got her through the doorway, tripping only once as she stepped inside. There was a conglomeration of trash covering the floor. The pile seemed… alive. It couldn’t possibly be over a few weeks old but looked like it originated from Prothean times. Actually—not Prothean times! Because then it would all be ash, and ash would be way more pleasant than all this.

“Jack, it smells!”

“That’s what the VI is for,” she shrugged, “Ey! VI, or uh… clean-bot! Or whatever… Spray this shit.”

A vapor released from the vents, and Miranda covered her nose.

“Relax, princess. It’s sanitizer.”

“You’re not supposed to breathe it in!”

“Eh, I smoke. So, it evens out.”

“Jack, no it doesn’t! That’s not how it works.”

She inhaled deeply in defiance.

“I don’t care. Die however you want,” Miranda shrugged. “Where’s your shower? I’m first. No way in hell I’m going after you!”

Jack smirked and opened a door Miranda thought belonged to a closet. The space between the shower and the toilet was a pivot.

“Oh, absolutely charming,” Miranda winced.

“It’s what they gave me.”

“At least it’s actually clean in here,” Miranda remarked, holding her nose and shutting the door behind her.

“When the toilet’s practically in the shower, it motivates you,” Jack called over the now-running water.

The sound of its steady stream started to scatter, letting Jack know Miranda had stepped in. It was weird to think of her all naked in that little space where she herself cleaned up. The fit was so tight it was hard to avoid touching the walls. Ugh, her skin would hit the same spots hers did.

She threw off her bloody shirt and scoffed. Miranda would probably be washing her long, stupid hair—which somehow managed to be just as pretentious and condescending as she was. It made Jack chuckle, imagining the look on her face when she searched for some shampoo and only found a single bottle of cheap 3-in-1.

Oh, right! This was her place. Miranda didn’t have any clothes.

“Hmmm…” she mused out loud, kneeling by the nearest pile of laundry stacked on the floor. She picked out a shirt from the middle and sniffed it.

“Yep, this is the clean pile,” Jack confirmed and started searching through it.

She was looking for something that fit a few specific parameters: First, and this was uncompromisable, it would have to be something she didn’t want back. Once Miranda wore it, Jack would never touch it again.

“Probably burn the fuckers if she tries to give them back…”

It obviously needed to be something that wouldn’t hinder their mission, like giving her nothing to borrow at all. Jack smirked at the thought of her flinging bad guys around, flaps out. And then finally, maybe more important to her than either of those, it had to be something that would really, really piss Miranda off.

She pulled out the perfect thing.

“Aw, but I got blood all over it,” Jack whined, assessing the damage, “And most of this pile…”

So annoying! She peeled off her pants that were thick and crusty with drying blood, which left her standing in socks and underwear, and went to wash her hands in the kitchen.

Jack’s real closet was hidden within a panel on the wall. It could be pulled back to reveal a thin space for hanging clothes that went the length of the room. If there was one positive to this box, it was storage space.

She checked each item for the perfect look. Jack had always taken everything she owned (which really wasn’t that much for one person’s entire belongings) along with her; from the SR-2 to her room on the Crucible station, and then bringing it all down to Earth with her. It made moving around stressful, but it also turned every temporary residence into a home.

And that was something she’d never had before.

“YES! Oh, this’ll do, she chuckled mischievously, “this will do.”

Jack took the outfit off its hanger and laid it nicely along the cleanest spot on the couch. It was a red that looked flattering against her tattoos but would clash terribly with Miranda’s complexion. It made Jack look alternative and artistic but would make Miranda look like a half-rate stripper on a midday shift.

Hopefully.

After a while, Jack heard the water shut off.

“Jaaack!” Miranda called out.

“What is it, sweetie?”

She cursed before shouting, “I need a towel!”

Laughing, Jack grabbed two from the closet and shut the panel. When she turned back around, she spotted Miranda’s hand reaching out of the door, waving expectantly. Jack tossed one over with a slight biotic throw. The towel reached Miranda’s fingers with a small sting of biotic shock, like static but worse.

“Ow! God’s sake, Jack!”

“Sorry,” she apologized, laughing, “Honest mistake, I swear! I was just being lazy—I didn’t think it would do that.”

Miranda stepped out of the bathroom. “Well, it did,” she pouted, finishing up the knot in the towel wrapped around her. She looked up after double-checking its hold, “Oh my god, you’re naked!”

“This isn’t naked, Peaches. If you want naked, I can show you—Oh my god, are you blushing?!”

“No! Just… get that fucking blood off you and let’s bloody go!”

Jack sauntered passed her, “By the way, there’s clothes for you over there.”

“Thanks.”

Jack slammed the door and the water started running again.

Miranda rolled her eyes and checked what was laid out for her. She groaned. It was almost as bad as the rags they’d discovered Jack in.

She held the outfit up to the light. At least there’s more cloth to it than a napkin.

“But not by much…” she muttered to herself.

She sighed and put the top over her head, wiggling into it. Miranda didn’t see a mirror, but what she saw when she looked down at herself wasn’t too bad. She and Jack were about the same size, and the way it fell on her was a little flattering.

She frowned at the pants, which on the couch looked like a chaotic pile of straps thrown over some awkwardly lengthened shorts. But when she put them on and finally found the mirror, Miranda almost didn’t hate it.

She patted her butt and said in a silly voice, “You’ve got no hanger appeal, Mr. Shorts.”

“Enjoying yourself?” Jack asked, startling Miranda as she stepped back out.

“Did you even shower?” she asked with disgust.

“Only needed a couple of minutes to wash off the blood,” she said, rubbing her face dry with a bit of the towel she held tight against her, “I’ll do a deep clean later.”

“The fact that you even distinguish between different types of showers is baffling and concerning in equal measures.”

Jack started laughing, “I can’t take you seriously in that outfit.”

“Stop fooling around and let’s go!”

“Hey, woah, woah, woah! I didn’t bring you to my place just to fool around.”

Miranda’s expression was not amused, “We have data to collect.”

“Look at you, hot nerd with your data collection, all tiddies out.”

“Ugh! This is your outfit, not mine.”

“Yeah, well, yours are sluttier.”

Miranda rolled her eyes and turned around to let Jack get dressed, “I look ridiculous.”

“Relax, babe. You always look ridiculous.”

* * * * * *

Shepard’s eyes gleamed, overflowing with a manic brilliance.

She clapped her hands, but the attention in the room was already undivided, everyone was paralyzed. They couldn’t keep their eyes off her, and she couldn’t keep hers off them.

How could they look away?

Even Wrex, who had spent every second at her side, was captivated. Shepard alone was one thing, but Commander Shepard with her crew was something else. They surrounded her now. Kaidan, Liara, Tali, and Garrus were finally there in the room with them.

“All right!” Shepard proposed, trying to reign in the galvanized timbre that shook her words.

They’d survived!

Seeing each other all together like this was impossible, but it was real.

“I know I can’t really move yet,” she continued, her commanding tone betrayed by the smile under it, “I’m very aware the war just ended, and we’re all tired…”

That’s when everyone started to look nervous.

“But we—All of us! With the state of everything and who we are—We’re all leaders of our species who played key roles in the galaxy’s survival. We need to take advantage of that power and break the stranglehold of imperialism that’s been around all our necks since the Leviathan!”

Look,” she went on, “I’m sorry, but we can’t relax yet! We can rest, recover, whatever we need to do, but then we need to get right back into the game!”

Everyone groaned except Kaidan, who couldn’t really hear anything over his smiling. Her voice. He was hearing her voice again. Shepard was sitting right there. Alive.

“You sound just like Bakara,” Wrex complained.

“I knew I liked her!”

“Shepard…”

“Garrus…”

“It’s just…”

“Whaaat? Garrus! I mean… there’s so many mass relays out there, and they probably all need some calibration.”

He really had to think about it for a second.

“You know me… it’s hard to resist a good cal—"

Tali didn’t let him finish, “Don’t let her bully you like that!”

“I’m not bullying anyone!” Shepard protested, throwing her arms up in surrender. “I just… I’ll do whatever it takes to get you all on board.”

“Even using calibration against me?”

“Yes…”

Garrus held a hand up to his mouth in shock.

Kaidan cleared his throat and squeezed Shepard’s palm, turning to face her. “Shepard,” he began, “You know how much I care about you being in good health—an-and happy? Yeah? Well… I’d never, ah… push you to do anything that wasn’t good for you, or that you wouldn’t be able to handle. You know that, right?”

“Yeeesss…” she answered suspiciously.

He turned to address the others in the room, not letting go of her hand, “Well, I’m open to hearing objections by the way, but—I really-uuh, I think we ought to get behind Shepard on this.”

She grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss.

“You’re supposed to be the stabilizing influence!” Tali cried.

“She’s corrupted him,” Garrus said, distressed.

Wrex grumbled, shaking his head, “Human bodies, Krogan attitudes.”

“I agree with Kaidan,” Liara chimed in, “The opportunity available to us now has never happened before, not on this scale.”

Wrex gave a “hrumph” of reluctant agreement.

“What opportunity?” Tali asked defensively.

“The galaxy has been made brand new!” Shepard explained exuberantly, sounding like a fanatic.

Garrus was still visibly uncomfortable, “Ooookaaay.”

“She’s right,” Wrex muttered, arms crossed, “Just look at the Krogan. We have a whole future to decide, and thousands of soldiers stranded here on Earth—including me and Bakara! And no matter how we resolve that, there’s gonna be Krogan who rebuild Tuchanka, and Krogan who rebuild Earth. And that’s just the main groups of us! In every damn pocket of the galaxy, wherever there’s Krogan, they’ll decide how Krogan live, who we are! Rebuilding—”

“–It means reinventing the galaxy itself!” Liara finished for him, “Every species, every planet! An-and the galaxy as a collective; we know what it meant, but what it means still has yet to be written.”

“Exactly!” Shepard shouted.

Garrus rubbed the back of his head, “I guess… that could work—”

“In archaeology,” Liara added, “We theorize about what happened in that past, but all of our knowledge comes out of who we are in the present.”

“Okay,” Garrus said, “You lost me again.”

“The same rules apply here!” she explained, “There’s no going back to before the war! So, we can either carry who we used to be into the new world or try to approach the unknown without all that; a blank slate that allows for entirely new realities to be made. The world ended, but the people continued; times like these are when old systems get thrown out.”

“They just always get replaced with some other version of what came before,” Kaidan added with disappointment.

“It’s what Wrex said,” Shepard went on, “We get to decide who we are; every species and the galactic community as a whole!”

They thought about it for a while, considering.

Then Tali mused, “I guess even deciding which relays get repaired first is political…” She trailed off, realizing the implications for Rannoch.

“And the longer we wait, the less of a say we have in how things go,” Kaidan stated, pushing Shepard’s point.

“That too!” she agreed, “A lot of people, or really just the ones who are used to being on top… Well, they’re going to want this new world to be a repeat of the last one. And I’m willing to bet those people have been plotting and preparing to reassert their power the whole time we’ve been distracted—”

“Distracted?” Kaidan asked incredulously.

“Yeah. I’ve been in here, and you’ve all been finding your way back.”

“You’re in a hospital making a miraculous recovery after near-death, your body is wrapped in bandages—and us?! We were drifting in FTL for months risking our lives to crawl back across the galaxy to get to you!” Kaidan lectured. “And you call that distracted?”

Her grin didn’t reassure anyone. Neither did that damn look in her eye.

“What do you need us to do, Shepard?” Tali asked anyway.

“Okay, people!” she commanded, “We’re behind and we need to catch up! It’s time for us to act, and fast!”

Everyone nodded and came forward a little closer.

“We need an active voice in every room; an ear at every table. I’m not allowed—”

“—not able,” Kaidan corrected.

“Right. I can’t move about,” Shepard said, gesturing to herself. As she did so, her movement tugged hard against her IV and she tensed up.

“Shepard!” Wrex shouted, worried in a stern, paternal way. She always pulled on those damn things.

“I’m fine!” she growled, “I need you all on the ground for me while I’m here, finding out everything you can. Get access to every room, every meeting, every fucking schemer and politician! It shouldn’t be too hard; they’re bound to fight over you guys as accessories. Let them! Don’t spend too much time with any individually but soak up whatever you can. When in doubt, play dumb. People love to talk, especially if they think you don’t know what they know.”

She paused to sneeze into her elbow, which launched her into a coughing fit that made everyone in the room cringe with physical empathy.

“Shepard?”

“I’m fine, Kaidan.”

Wrex backed her up, “Really, she is! I know she looks scary now, but it used to be a lot worse. You should’ve seen her when—”

“Wrex!” Tali and Liara interrupted in unison.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

Kaidan kissed Shepard’s hand as she caught her breath, “I’m just glad you’re here and getting better.” His voice cracked when he added, “We all are.” He kissed her hand again.

Neither of them could believe it; laying eyes on each other earlier.

They’d cried when their bodies met again. Kaidan could feel her hair, but not his fingers running through it. Shepard could feel his chest caving and filling unevenly, rapidly, but not her own.

“I missed you,” she’d said, kissing his neck and all over the side of his face.

He just held her tighter and continued to fall apart for the thousandth time since they’d been apart. They were both holding on so desperately to that last memory of each other, and now there would be more.

Eventually, finally, their lips met.

Until Liara got there.

They didn’t hear the door open, so Wrex announced himself. He came in with his hands covering his face, “I wanted to give you guys time, but Liara’s here now, so—”

She flew into the room and jumped on the bed, apologizing along the way, “Sorry, Shepard! I couldn’t wait anymore!”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Shepard said thickly.

Kaidan stepped to the side to let them embrace but couldn’t move very far.

The two friends held each other tight, and the tears started flowing again. Liara’s appearance made a different kind of reality set in. Kaidan’s made the future feel real and possible; Liara’s made everything they’d survived into actual past events. Shepard’s horror came to sit next to her ecstatic happiness.

Liara broke away to examine Shepard’s face, putting a hand to her cheek.

“Oh, Shepard…” she winced.

“It’s not that bad,” she shrugged.

Tali squealed when she and Garrus entered. She quickly left his side, running and jumping into bed the way Liara had.

“Sorry, Shepard!” Tali apologized, landing on her.

“Ow!” she laughed while Tali threw her arms around her neck, “Careful, I’m broken.”

She reciprocated and closed her eyes. They felt Garrus join in, his arms consuming them both. Liara didn’t move in time and got stuck awkwardly in their embrace too. She wiggled herself out of it and stood next to Kaidan.

Shepard took in the view as Tali and Garrus pulled away.

“I am so happy to see you both okay,” she said, holding their hands.

They nodded together tearfully.

Then they embraced again. The three of them had been right there with each other the last time they’d survived the impossible and the time before that. They hadn’t known an after that didn’t include each of their faces.

When they pulled apart again, Shepard blushed and surprised herself with her own outburst, “Please tell me you two are still a thing!”

They nodded again, still in happy shock. Garrus put his arm around Tali and nuzzled the top of her head.

“Aw!” Shepard cried, “That’s so cute!”

Something about that information initiated a group hug. The original crew of the SR-1 minus one. But every one of them could feel Ashley strongly that day, so they knew she was there with them too.

Shepard spoke when they all pulled away.

“All right,” she began, “I know I can’t really move around yet…”

* * * * * *

Shore leave was always celebrated like a holiday. No matter the crew or the ship, it was what everyone looked forward to and counted down the days towards. Joker mostly chose to stay behind, especially on the Normandy. It emptied out and became his. He only consistently joined in once EDI had a body to take out for a walk.

They talked a lot about what they’d do on their first shore leave after the war. The only detail that really mattered in all their fantasies was that they’d be together. So, he had to stay. The Normandy had finally docked on Earth and Joker was stationed at his vigil by her fried blue box.

And of course, Traynor’s voice interrupted his solace. It hit the back of his neck before reaching his ears, like a slap.

“Joker? I needed to speak with you.”

“About how we’ve been running into each other here a lot these days?”

“Well, sort of. It’s just… you haven’t left this ship once since we left Pragia. I’m just—I’m concerned for you, and I think you need to spend some time off-ship.”

Joker shook his head.

“Stop that,” she told him, “I need you to trust me. You’ll feel better than you think if you get out of here for a bit. Just see what’s out there. Everything we fought for is outside!”

“That wasn’t what I was fighting for,” he responded sadly, eyes resting softly on EDI’s still shell.

Traynor sighed and walked over to him.

“Joker, I… I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.”

“Do you hug?”

“Not usually, no.”

“Well… would you like one now?”

Joker hesitated, “Well… Okay… But treat me like rice paper, okay?”

They hugged. It was awkward, but genuine. It was actually kind of nice.

Joker cleared his throat and let go. “Than—” he cleared his throat again, “Thank you.”

“Please go outside.”

Joker looked back at the bot.

“Hey,” Traynor offered, “I’ll watch over her if that’ll make you feel better.”

He nodded and finally left the room.

Sam knelt down and said a prayer even though she didn’t believe in anything.

Joker should be out for a while.

“It’s just me and you now, EDI.”

* * * * * *

“Boy, I wish you could’ve seen it before, Buggy,” Vega proclaimed, standing on a pile of rubble, hands on his hips.

Earth looked more like a colony world these days than anything else. It was especially weird to see in the daylight. Everything they’d fought for, the world before the Reapers, was changed. The whole planet had been slowly blown apart, all the Human bits, and they were left beholding a new landscape.

“I’ve never known a galaxy that does not look like this,” Javik admitted plainly. It wasn’t tragedy in his tone, it was simple fact.

Vega shook his head, “Man, what a shame.”

“It is how it is.”

They looked out over the ruined town.

“So much snow,” Javik commented disapprovingly.

“Welp, that’s Sweden.”

“That is the name of this place?”

“Sure is.”

Javik nodded, observing his companion carefully. Was this what it was like save your home? Everyone else on the ship could embody that but him. He was like some ancient demon, feeding off the feelings of others. But Javik didn’t consume; just tasted how victory sat on another’s tongue.

He felt the waves of an estranged pride roll off his shoulders. He could never go back. This wasn’t his victory, but it was the closest he’d ever get.

“Something on your mind?” Vega asked.

“Yes. I’ve been meaning to ask you about something.”

“Spill it, Buggy.”

“That! I do not like that name. I am not a roach!”

“I’m sorry, Bu-ah… Javik. I’ll think of something else to call you then.”

“My name is insufficient?”

Vega laughed, “No, your name is fine—You didn’t have nicknames back in the Prothean days?”

“We must have, but I forgot mine.”

“Fuck. I’m sorry I went there.”

Javik frowned, “No, it is good that I speak of them.”

“I’m here anytime you want to…”

“Thank you,” Javik said genuinely.

They shared a certain look; seeing, acknowledging each other and their respect for each other. It made them both stand proud. If Vega were Prothean, they’d be reflecting those feelings off each other and basking in them together. Javik wondered how Humans expressed such things.

“How’s the book coming with Liara?”

He thought about it for a moment.

“Tell me: If you woke up thousands of years into the future, at the start of another Reaper war, the only Human left, and a sentient… What’s an animal here?”

“A sloth.”

“I don’t know what that is, but it doesn’t matter,” he said sternly, “If you woke up and a sentient sloth creature was asking you to tell them the complete history of your people, how would that go?”

“I see your point. Brutal, huh?”

“Oh, you have no idea,” Javik answered, chuckling.

It always startled Vega how normal Javik looked when he laughed. Every kind of alien he’d ever met had some similarity to Humanity, somehow. But Javik didn’t even belong to this cycle. He’d lived in—heck his kind had evolved in!—a whole other ecological era.

And yet, here he was, smiling sadly against the snow.

Just like himself.

“Can you tell what I’m thinking?”

“I try not to eavesdrop,” Javik said, “but I cannot help but sense a few things.”

Vega smiled, “Wow, it’s like a whole personality quiz right in front of me.”

“What is that?”

“Oh… nothing. Unless… Hey, can you understand something if I just think it? Like instead of tell you everything, just—I’d know and you’d know?”

“If you were a Prothean, yes. But since you are not, it will never be that clear.”

“Huh, not even if we got to know each other?”

“Not even then,” Javik stated, “But I like to think I know you pretty well.”

Vega crossed his arms, “Tell me about me then.”

“You are admirable. Strong. You are bigger than the other Humans, thick like those Krogan. It is nice.”

“Like what you see?”

“Yes. I said that.”

Vega chuckled, “It was a joke—like if you were attracted to me. I was teasing.”

Javik smirked, “Oh, that’s… Is that funny?”

“I don’t know man, that’s up to you.”

“Hmmm… my people can sense pheromones, so there is no joking about ambiguity since there is none to be had.”

“So… like all of you know, all the time?”

Javik shrugged, “It’s like a smell. You don’t notice it after a while.”

Vega laughed.

“We do joke about it though—did.”

“Yeah?”

“Especially if it went in only one direction.”

“Harsh!”

They laughed.

Javik liked feeling those brief impressions of joy from him. Vega was “louder” than the others. He always felt the most Prothean—Aside from Shepard, but she had the beacon and the cipher in her head.

“I bet I could still find ways to surprise you.”

“Surprise a Prothean?”

“Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.”

“Well, I highly doubt—Aaaaaahhhhh!” Javik screeched as something cold and wet hit the side of his face.

Vega burst into laughter, “What was that shriek?”

“It was not a shriek. I do not shriek!—What did you do?!”

“Surprised you,” Vega smirked, “With a snowball.”

He started laughing again as Javik bent over to strike back. Only… he’d never thrown a snowball before. The snow he’d grabbed scattered and fell pathetically around his feet when he tried to throw it.

Vega laughed harder and it made Javik’s blood boil.

“Here,” he said in stitches, moving in closer to the Prothean.

“How do you make those…?”

“Snowballs.”

“Snowballs?”

“Yes.”

“Ah,” Javik nodded.

“Let me show you,” Vega said, bending to grab snow from the ground. “You already got the first part. You grab your ammo. Then you pack it in your hands like so,” he demonstrated.

Javik grabbed some of his own and leaned in close to observe. He copied Vega’s movements—Then he smashed his handful into Vega’s face. He liked watching the way his skin turned pink from the temperature change.

“!Pendejo!—!Chingada! Coño…” he howled, laughing.

Javik was laughing now too and ducked as Vega tried to retaliate. The projectile went flying passed him into the empty field below.

He bent down to grab more snow but was tackled by the marine. His shoulders hooked into his waist and they both toppled over from the force. It left them laughing on their backs.

“What is so funny?”

“We’re having fun. Laughing isn’t always about being funny.”

“Yes, but you think something is funny, I can tell.”

“You can sense that?”

“No, but I know you.”

“Fine,” Vega admitted, “By the way, I thought of a new thing to call you.”

“What?”

Vega laughed through it, “Snowballs.”

Javik chuckled too, “Not if that means what I think it does.”

“It does if you got balls.”

The laughter that came out of Javik was bigger than anything Vega had ever seen from him. It started to feel like an unreal moment. Like a movie, he crumpled into hilarity over a simple joke. His chest cavity rapidly shrank and expanded; exoskeleton as flexible as skin. There was a sense of relief so sharp it stung. Javik’s breathing, still rapid, changed somehow. Tears started to pour from another cycle’s eyes as a cackle set in.

But it didn’t feel like laughter anymore.

“Javik?!”

He was grasping handfuls of Vega’s coat as if he’d fall over even though they were already on the ground. The other man shifted his weight off him in concern.

“Bug—Fuck! I mean, Hey! What’s happening to you?”

He couldn’t answer. Lower into himself, he sank. There was an abyss sucking him into an implosion. It was a vacuous space, like something frozen and he the heat.

“Hey! It’s okay! I’ve got you.”

A voice reached out and made the ice around him more solid. Suddenly he was tangible because arms held him in space.

It was like that for a while until it wasn’t.

Vega sighed when Javik could breathe again, “¿Soy Frío? You cold?”

He saw the human again for the first time. The scarf around him had unwrapped and was now going around his own neck. Javik could only blink.

When he could speak, he asked, “Why did you say that twice?”

“Huh, guess it just translates Prothean.”

“What?”

“I used two languages.”

“Why?”

“Just do it sometimes,” he shrugged, “They’re not too different to me. They represent different homes, but they’re both my homes. You can have more than one of those, you know?”

“What are they?”

“English and Spanish.”

“That doesn’t translate.”

“It wouldn’t, would it?”

“No, it would not.”

They stood up and brushed themselves off.

“We’ll find you another home. Not a replacement. Los dos. Both.”

Javik smiled, just a twitch of one.

“Aha!” Vega smirked, “I know what your name is.”

“It’s Javik.”

“No,” he laughed, “Your nickname.”

“Oh… What is it? Do I dare ask?”

“Casamiga!”

* * * * * *

She felt ridiculous.

Ridiculous!—In this… this thing Jack passed off for an outfit! Miranda wondered if the blood stains would have been better. It was freezing, and with no proper cover she had to walk wrapped in a biotic barrier for warmth. Jack suggested it. It was apparently what she always did instead of wearing a coat.

“Why don’t you have coats?”

“Woah, woah! I don’t even have one and you’re already putting a plural on it?”

“Most people have more than one coat, Jack.”

“That’s because you only hang out with fancy people,” she said. Then offered, “Want me to help you out there, Princess?”

“I’ve got it!”

“You sure? You’re talking to the biotic who held back the Collector drones.”

“Yes, I’ve heard,” Miranda muttered under her breath.

“You couldn’t even do that.”

That always got her riled up, “That’s only because Shepard gave you the job and not me—I could have!”

“You should probably save your energy. Come on under mine.”

“Fat chance,” Miranda snapped, “Ugh! How many people have you killed wearing this?”

“Why do you wanna know?”

“Because I’m wearing it.”

Jack smirked, “You afraid it’s haunted or something?”

“No, I’m afraid I’ll get tangled up in these straps if it comes to a fight.”

“Don’t worry, it always comes to a fight.”

“I’m being serious. Will this thing let me move or not?”

“Little too late to be asking.”

“Jack!”

“Fine, fine. You’ll be good. Boob might fall out though…”

“What a relief,” Miranda stated sarcastically.

The signal from the late-councilor Hansen’s terminal took them to an abandoned building. It was daunting with its large rectangular frame looming over them. Its height and windows made it look like a warehouse. The logo was too burnt to indicate the company, but if it was unoccupied and still standing, then it couldn’t have been very important.

“You sure this is the place?”

“No, I thought I’d take you on a scenic detour in the snow with barriers instead of coats.”

“Ooooh! Like a date?”

“Jack!”

“Keep screaming my name like that and I’ll make you buy me dinner.”

“God—”

“What?”

“God dammit! Now come on!”

The giant gaping hole in the wall was their obvious point of entry. The exposure let a bunch of snow blow in, coating everything inside. Jack watched Miranda’s butt bounce angrily out of her short-shorts as she led the way. Grinning, she followed her.

Inside the building, the whole vibe was just… off…

“You notice that too?” Jack checked.

Miranda looked around thoughtfully, “The floor cover is uneven.”

“People come through here.”

“Right. Look around.”

The whole place was essentially one large room packed with shipping containers. Uneven rows of containers stacked high made a maze out of the place. Luckily, snow revealed secrets. Between that and the sun shining through large windows to the west, it seemed the elements were on their side.

“Let’s open them, the ones along the path,” Miranda commanded, referring to depressions in the snow that indicated previous clearings. People had been here. Recently too, considering this past week’s weather. Somewhere along it had to be clues to their activities. The signal beeping from her Omni-tool was strong, and there was nowhere else to go in this snow globe of a warehouse.

Miranda’s borrowed shorts were riding up as she walked, and she picked at them awkwardly, “If I get a yeast infection from these shorts of yours, I’ll… I’ll—!”

“What? Make bread at me?”

“Jack!”

“How could the data be stored here? Any computer would get wrecked sitting out here like this.”

Miranda answered impatiently, “The signal we have could always be false.”

“Hope not. Rather not have showered together for nothing.”

She bristled, “We did not!”

“Not at the same time,” Jack continued to tease, “If you want to get technical with it.”

“I do. Details matter. And speaking of details, keep your eye out for anything weird.”

The problem was that everything was weird, so nothing stood out. Even when they opened up the shipping containers, which were unlocked, they found nothing inside. Miranda even got up on Jack’s shoulders to make sure the ones stacked up top were the same. Those were empty too.

“I’m beginning to think this either a trap or diversion,” she commented, still perched atop Jack’s shoulders.

Jack had her hands pressed firmly on Miranda’s thighs, which tucked her tight against Jack’s head and chest. It made Miranda blush, feeling silly like a child. She felt her torso flip from a shift in gravity when Jack began to let her down. Instead of falling as her body anticipated, she was held steady.

“Should have gotten you longer pants,” Jack said as Miranda slid the rest of the way down, “Your butt was on my neck.”

“You could thank me, you know. There’s people who’d pay for the privilege.”

“Miranda, five credits isn’t even cab money.”

They both laughed a little. It was really dumb. They moved on.

Frustrated with finding nothing, Jack broke an icicle off of one of the containers and threw it randomly. It hit another with an echoing thonk.

“Jack!”

“Wait! Did you hear that?”

“What if you’d hit me?!”

“Look at the signal for me real quick!”

Miranda didn’t like it, but she obliged, “Still the same. Strong though.”

Jack ran over to the shipping container she’d hit with the ice and threw open the doors, “Found a staircase!”

She just looked so pleased with herself, with that huge smile on her face. Miranda fought to keep her expression blank.

“I never learned to play nice, Princess. Prepare for me to gloat.”

Ignoring that, Miranda walked into the container. Standing by the stairs, she asked, “Do you feel that? It’s warm here.”

Jack looked around behind them one more time before stepping in and closing the doors. It was completely dark until Miranda made a blue wisp sit inside her palm, dimly lighting the space.

The warmth from the stairwell was palpable. It settled into the warehouse’s vacant freeze.

“Ready to go down?”

“That’s what she said,” Jack sneered.

They descended and descended.

…And descended.

“Maybe…” Jack panted, There’s an elevator.”

They were out of breath even though they were walking downstairs. There was just so many of them.

‘Yeah, well… Do you really… wanna go back?”

“No.”

“Okay, then.”

This was no ordinary warehouse. After seemingly endless flights, they reached a platform with a door. Whatever it led to was built deep within the mountain that bordered the town, it had to be if it was buried this far underground. This wasn’t even the end of the stairwell, but Miranda and Jack took one look at the door and decided to try their luck there.

And of course…

“It’s locked.” Miranda stated it like a fact she already knew.

“Let me try it,” Jack suggested, pushing her out of the way before tugging on the handle a few times herself.

“It’s locked.”

“That’s what I just said!” Miranda exclaimed, shoving Jack aside to deal with the lock herself.

“Okay, relax. Geez.”

She watched Miranda dial something on her omnitool.

“Odd… it’s manual. There’s no hacking our way in.”

“Time for me to show you what makes me so popular with the ladies.”

“If you were a man, you’d be on a list.”

Jack didn’t have any sleeves, but she gestured as if she were rolling them up, “Let me teach you something else about biotics.”

Miranda rolled her eyes and crossed her arms as Jack sauntered up to the lock. She bit her tongue in concentration and thin blue strands shot out from her fingertips like miniature bolts of lightning that slowly snaked forward before tapering off after about three or four inches. They danced and sparked.

Jack grabbed the lock, surrounding it with her biotic hand, the thin strands from her fingers hitting around it while the one from her thumb went inside the keyhole.

“Funnily enough,” she grunted, “I didn’t figure this out from robbing places.”

Miranda was mad at her own awe. The dexterity and power that little action took was monumental. It even turned her eyes green.

She scoffed.

Jack was the galaxy’s biggest hypocrite. Always going on and on about her tight pants when Jack’s were just as tight, if not tighter! Bending over like she was now made them cling even more. I mean, you would think it was skin the way it stretched along up her thighs. It defined Jack’s ass so much that it was screaming at her. For fuck’s sake, Jack loved to call her Queen Yeast, but her pants were so tight you could even see a bit of—

“Not that you’re curious, but I actually picked this up from learning how to use biotics without burning off a clit. You could say it came in real handy when I had to travel light and couldn’t really carry around a sex toy.”

“Well,” Miranda commented, “That’s not really something I wanted to know.”

“Well, now you do.”

“Now I do.”

The lock popped and fell to the floor. “Aha!”

“How does that even work?”

“Physics, vibrations, whatever—It works. We’re in!” Jack smiled, proud of herself like star student on pop-quiz day.

Miranda cleared her throat and rushed through the door.

There were lights and heat, but no people—just like the endless, damp stairwell. Miranda crouched down anyway. It looked like they were in some sort of lobby, and she knelt against what seemed to be a reception desk.

Jack stood out in the open to do that trick from before, outside Councilor Hansen’ office. She put her fingers to her temples and her whole head glowed. After a bit of concentration, she stopped and looked at Miranda with blazing blue eyes.

“Found ‘em!” she said excitedly, “And there’s a lot.”

Miranda felt her own biotics respond. Jack’s excitement was infectious. Her nerves felt buoyant, and her hair stood up.

“Shouldn’t be anything to worry about—Well, except that one thing.”

“What one thing?” Miranda asked suspiciously.

“I’m a little exhausted now. Might be a bit low on the biotics.”

She rolled her eyes, “Let’s get going.”

“Hey! Who made you leader?”

They cautiously stepped inside an office with rows and rows of cubicles. This place had to have employed half the town before the war.

“I was Shepard’s second-in-command.”

“Yeah, under Cerberus.”

“Jack!”

“It’s always another Human Sentinel too. What’s with that?”

“What?”

“Alenko before you and after you. Her second. It’s a wonder she didn’t try to fuck you too.”

“Jack…”

“Oh my god,” Jack laughed, “Did she?!”

“Jack!”

“Ssshhh! We’re close.”

Jack opened a door that led into an even stranger room. It was a lot smaller than the last one, like a side office. And it looked down into an area below.

A room filled with men in masks.

“There’s a lot of them,” Miranda worried.

“Good thing you’re with me then,” Jack teased.

“I don’t need you,” Miranda snapped.

“Okay! You know… I can leave.”

“Jack!”

“I mean if I’m not needed here…”

Miranda seethed, “Don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

“I… Just… Just stay.”

“Do I hear a please?”

“Jack! There are men right there.”

“Guess I’m leaving,” she shrugged.

“Okay, fine… Please stay,” Miranda said reluctantly.

“There, was that so bad?”

Miranda raised her fists, glowing, and threw a biotic flare that whizzed right passed Jack’s head.

“Woah! It was a joke!”

Alarms started to blare.

“I told you there were men there!”

Jack turned around and saw the bodies.

“Oh, yeah. Thanks.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Miranda said, shaking tension from her shoulders and flipping her hair back.

“Ready for more?” Jack asked as the calvary came.

“Always,” Miranda answered.

* * * * * *

It almost hurt to feel each other again, like touching something warm with frozen fingers.

“I love you so much,” Shepard cried.

Kaidan kissed all over her face, especially the parts that were—

“Ow!” she exclaimed.

“Sorry,” he apologized, “Shepard, your face…”

“Hey, you looked a lot worse after Mars. This is nothing.”

“I don’t know. Whatever happened up there, anyone can see it was rough. I’m sorry that you-uh, that you had to go through it alone.”

“I wasn’t totally alone,” she admitted in a small voice.

“Oh, that’s right. Anderson was there, wasn’t he?”

“How did you…?”

“They confirmed the both of you dead when they found his body,” Kaidan said.

He paused to let the implications of that sentence settle on her shoulders. He’d had no reason to hope, and still he crossed the galaxy to find her. She had to know she was so loved.

He continued when he saw her eyes soften, “It was easy to assume. And then Hackett…”

“Yeah.”

Shepard started crying again even though that’s how she’d passed most of her day, “I’m so sorry.”

“No, Essie... You have nothing to be sorry about! It’s fine if you ever decide to leave me, but don’t ever die again—Not before me. Please? You just can’t.”

“You’re never leaving my sight,” Shepard chuckled tearfully.

“And I’m happy with that.”

“You were all alone!”

“You were alone.”

“I had Wrex!”

“And I had Liara, and everyone else too.”

She sniffled, “Is Kaidan Hamenko okay?”

“Yeah, Shepard,” he squeezed her hand, “He’s perfect, and I know he can’t wait to see you!”

Kaidan got up to get her another box of tissues. He really thought he’d be the one in constant water works, but now that he was actually there, they wouldn’t come. Maybe he’d used it all up before.

“Kaidan?”

He answered from the supply closet, “Yeah?”

“Get back here,” she patted the side of her slim hospital bed.

He chuckled, “I’m coming.”

It would be a lot more realistic for Kaidan to sleep in one of the lounge chairs, especially the one big enough for Wrex, but they were going to try to make it work. Tonight was their first night together ever since the apocalypse fell on their heads, and honestly it had been crashing down on them since they first met. That made tonight something new, and damned if they weren’t going to spend it in the same bed.

There wasn’t time for the Crucible.

“Shepard, what’s wrong?”

“God dammit, Kaidan!”

“Wait—What?”

“You! Asking what’s wrong and being perceptive and kind!”

“That’s a bad thing?”

“No!”

“You lost me.”

He sat back down at her side and scooped her into his embrace. She had to kiss him a few times before she could say anything else.

“I did a very bad thing.” She admitted it with exhausted tears in her eyes.

Kaidan swallowed, “Whatever it is, Shep. You can tell me.”

“I know.”

“Is it about what happened at the end? After—?”

“Yeah.”

He nodded.

Anderson. EDI. The Geth. Shepard couldn’t speak their names.

“Before you start, just know, because you have to know… Whatever, whatever kind of calls you had to make, it led us here. It led us all here.”

She nodded.

“You did it, Shepard. I’m so proud of you!”

“Please stop. Don’t be proud of me.”

“Why?”

“Because I killed them!”

Kaidan didn’t get any more detail after that, but it didn’t matter.

“Hey, hey,” he said, “Come back here. Just be with me.”

Her calm was almost immediate.

“Okay,” she said in her small voice.

Kaidan kissed the side of her head, “Thank you. That’s all you have to do for the rest of the night. Just be with me.”

“Okay, Kaidan.”

* * * * * *

With feral, ice-blue eyes, Jack turned at the sound of her name. One of their opponents had a hand wrapped around the side of Miranda’s face.

Her biotic flare smashed him into a wall, and he fell like a doll.

“Thanks,” Miranda gasped.

“Nobody fucks with my ice bitch but me,” Jack said, extending a hand to help her up.

Miranda grabbed it and wiped herself off.

“Again, thanks. I guess… Oh! I got a hole in your stupid shirt.”

“Watch your nipple doesn’t fall out.”

“No! At the bottom. See?” Miranda held out the damage for Jack to check.

“Now you’re just stretching it!”

“Ugh,” Miranda groaned, and dropped it.

The radios of the dead men crackled, “… two units… inbound...” The signal wasn’t clear, but the message was: More were headed their way.

Jack and Miranda still panted from the last squad, but they nodded at each other and kept moving, quickly. It would be better to outrun them even though they could handle plenty more.

“I still think we should check out that big room.”

“That’s where most of them are!”

“Exactly! If we’re gonna find anything, that’s where we’re gonna find it.”

“You don’t know that! We’re following the signal.”

“How do you know the signal even goes to—”

Jack was interrupted by a shout that came from one of the rooms. It was frightened and pedestrian.

Without thinking much, the women slammed through the door it came from. Inside, workers in corporate dress were on their knees, masked men pointing guns in their faces. The room wasn’t that large, so it was packed tight.

“Octopus!” Jack yelled.

Miranda threw a barrier around the workers and then Jack filled the room with biotic electricity. The masked men collapsed to the floor.

“What in the anime fuck was that, Jack? Octopus?”

“You know what I meant though.”

“No, I didn’t! I acted on instinct.”

“Woah.”

“Excuse me,” one of the office workers interrupted, “Just who are you?”

“Is everyone all right?” Miranda asked as their answer.

“My ankle…” the one in a blue blazer mentioned.

Miranda went over to examine him.

The one who’d spoken up first wouldn’t let it go, “Who are you?”

“Look,” Jack said, “All you need to know is we’re the people who got the guns out of your faces. Capiche?”

The man with the ankle was the only one who nodded, but the rest of them looked around at each other in silent agreement.

“Good. Now who are these clowns with the guns?”

“We don’t know!”

“You gotta know something.”

“We don’t!” said another who hadn’t spoken yet.

Jack ripped the masks off the three fresh corpses.

“Recognize any of them?”

No one did.

“Fuck!”

Miranda finished with the man’s ankle, “You’re good. You’ve just twisted it.”

“Christ’s sake, Sebastian!” the first one exclaimed, “All that complaining and whining, and it’s not even sprained!”

“I didn’t know!”

“Quiet!” Miranda hushed, “More of them are coming!”

They all turned to her.

“You all really know nothing about this?”

Again, no one had anything to offer. Just like the rest of the building, their clothing didn’t even carry any company logos. They were as unspecific and inconspicuous as minor characters in a dream, and no details were going to be picked up from their silence.

“Then what is this place?” Jack asked impatiently.

The first one threw her hands up, “Just like you can’t tell us who you are, we can’t say who we are.”

“Cut the bullshit!” Miranda said, “Do you know anything about The Archive?”

When they wouldn’t answer, she continued, “It doesn’t matter. We know where it is. Just stay quiet and stay here! We cannot come back for you.”

“We cannot come back for you!” Jack mimicked once they were back in the hall.

“You’re so annoying!”

“Aw, thanks babe.”

Miranda’s face went redder.

It felt like they were going in circles. The hall seemed to wrap around the same offices, and that big room from before appeared to be in the middle.

Where the signal was.

“Don’t say it!” Miranda warned as she led them towards the middle. Of course… They’d have to go through that heavily guarded area.

They found cover against a wall and whispered to each other before going in.

“It’s always the last room!” Jack complained.

“Of course it’s always in the last room! We leave after we have what we need.”

“Damn, does that make us professional fuckboys?”

“Jack! That word has a horrible history!”

Even though they’d been quiet, a shout and a laser beam hit the wall behind them.

“Showtime!” Jack shouted, breaking cover to unleash one of the weapons she’d stolen from the fallen. The barrage of her ammo overwhelmed their attackers with its chaotic reach.

Once the heat clip was spent, lethal beams of light whizzed right over Jack’s head, chasing her as she ducked back behind the wall. Miranda leaned out from it, waiting to make her move.

“Good luck,” Jack teased.

Miranda sent a devastating warp into the room, turning her rage against their attackers.

“Luck?! I don’t need luck. I am luck!”

Miranda was breathing heavily as she pressed her back into the wall, her cleavage rising and falling with her chest. Jack could taste the rage embedded in her features. Princess Pufferfish. All she had to do was poke and poke and she exploded into the most wonderful scene. What better way was there to clear a room full of baddies? Jack knew the perfect thing to amp it up.

“For luck then,” she smirked.

Jack got closer and pressed her lips against the other woman’s. They broke apart almost as instantly as they connected.

Their enemies gained a bit of ground and finally brought them back into the moment.

“What the fuck was that?”

“A joke, obviously.”

Miranda put up her barrier and stepped into the fire. A wild indigo wave screamed out of her and into the room. There was a bit of shouting from the other side.

“A joke?!”

She biotically-lifted a grenade off a fallen adversary and threw it back at the rest of the guards.

“Riled you up, didn’t it?”

“You’ve done nothing but rile me up!”

She ripped the reloaded gun out of Jack’s grip and unloaded it on whoever wasn’t in cover. Once it overheated, she threw it back at Jack’s feet.

“But the results!”

Miranda growled and threw up another barrier before stepping back into full sight. Jack took that as her cue to send shockwaves throughout the room. Miranda unleashed a few more forces after that to clear out the rest, Princess Pufferfish at full power.

They didn’t talk or look each other in the eye after that.

There was a door at the end of the cavernous room, and that’s where their signal was pinging from.

Jack opened it to get there first, but accidentally held it open for Miranda. They both blushed deeply.

Jack entered first anyway, slamming the door behind her. Miranda rolled her eyes and followed—But she bumped right into Jack, who’d stopped short on the other side.

“What the fuck?”

“Kasumi?!” she asked, ignoring Miranda.

“What?!”

Kasumi was already there at the mainframe computer.

“Hello, ladies. Fancy seeing you here.”

Miranda froze, haunches raised by the presence of her former colleague. Jack immediately melted.

“You made it!” she cheered, flopping down onto one of the nearest chairs.

“That I did,” Kasumi answered, still typing some code into the system.

“I thought you were with Hackett,” Miranda accused.

“I left."

“I see that.”

“Ladies,” Jack interjected, “Let’s all have a chat before we start throwing suspicion around at our friends.”

“Thank you, Jack.”

“I aim to please,” she said smiling sardonically. She turned her gloating gaze over to Miranda out of habit, but quickly looked away when their eyes met. Kasumi was too wrapped up in her task to take note of it.

“So then… Why are you here?” Miranda asked, motivated as much by curiosity as a desire to change the subject.

“The same thing that brought us all together last time,” she answered plainly, “Cerberus.”

“Cerberus!?” Jack jumped out of her chair.

“I’m not working with them; I’m stealing from them.”

“You sound just like Shepard,” Miranda said.

“How is she?” Kasumi’s concern was genuine even though she never looked up from the screen.

Before they could answer, an alarm went off. Different from the one before. It was loud enough to assume it permeated the whole building.

“Are you downloading The Archive?” Miranda asked desperately.

“Creative name, right? And yes. Give me two more minutes. Not really downloading it so much as sending it off to a few places.”

“Who exactly?”

“Hackett, for one. A few of my own secrets, Broker, Kenji’s construct, and you two.”

“Oh… Thank yo—”

“We don’t have that time!” Jack shouted over the alarm.

“Then we’ll make that time! Now tell me about Shepard.”

“She’s fine, ‘Sumi.”

“You call her ‘Sumi’?” Miranda scoffed, “Since when?”

“Jealous?” she teased out of habit.

They both looked at their feet.

“Shepard’s fine,” Miranda said, “I’ve been overseeing her treatment.”

“Good,” she sighed with relief. “I’d heard the news but refused to believe it. Dying? That’s not our Shepard.”

“Careful,” Jack joked, “You make her sound like Jesus.”

BANG!

Jack and Miranda peeped outside.

“How’s that coming?” Miranda called.

“Almo—”

“Because we really don’t have time!”

“GOT IT!” Kasumi shouted, leaping for joy before blasting the mainframe with her gun.

“Here’s hoping you did,” Jack said, referring to the now smoldering and sparking mainframe.

The large room had filled with the rest of their enemies discovering their dead comrades. Kasumi led them through another door, and they bolted together down a long hall different from the circular ones before.

The sight that eventually greeted them was a welcome one.

“Hah! There is an elevator!”

“Jack! Just go!”

* * * * * *

Snow. It was different on Thessia.

The wind blew softly and whipped around Liara’s ears, stinging them sweetly. Shepard would have reminded her to cover them.

Ah, well.

They were on their way to see her again first thing in the morning, Liara with James and Javik in tow. She wished Garrus and Tali were there too, but they were going their own route. She’d spoken to Shepard more in a day than she had to either of those two for a month! Well… Probably not. But it felt that way! These things happened, but Shepard and Kaidan had been a little better about it. Tali and Garrus just disappeared into each other.

It was still nice to see.

Even though she hadn’t heard from Feron. That was okay. It would be what it was.

She’d disappeared into her thoughts to avoid the conversation happening behind her. It wasn’t that she didn’t love those two, it was just…

“I can hold up more than you,” Javik stated firmly, a little annoyed, “More than any of you squishy beings!”

“No way!” Vega protested with a huge smile on his face, “No way you can lift more than me!”

Liara turned back to them tiredly, “I thought you two settled this during the war.”

“Ran out of time,” Vega explained, “Shep’s apartment blew up on the Citadel with that gorgeous gym in it.”

“You don’t know that,” Javik said, “What if it is still there?”

“Could be,” Vega mused, “but you’re not trying to put this off until we find out, are you?”

“We can settle this right here!”

“Guys!” Liara shouted, stopping, “We have to meet with Hackett and Shepard. Now, come on!”

They dropped their shoulders in defeat and followed her.

“Squishy bitch,” Javik grumbled under his breath.

“Keep going, Javik,” Liara warned, “And I’ll write in my book that Protheans ate their own excrement!”

“Damn, you’d really do history like that, T’soni?”

“Yes, I would!” she said with a clenched jaw, leading the way through town noticeably faster than before.

Hackett was sitting with Shepard and Kaidan by the time they got there. Tali and Garrus were already there too. Wrex wasn’t even supposed to be there, and he’d beaten the three of them to the room as well.

“I hope you all haven’t been waiting long,” Liara apologized.

“Glad to see you alive, Dr. T’Soni,” Hackett stood up to greet her.

She shook his hand and thanked him then introduced the other two. Liara finally relaxed when Javik didn’t do anything rude. Hackett wouldn’t have minded anyway; he was ecstatically happy underneath his professionalism.

“We did it, everyone,” Shepard announced proudly once they all settled. Her voice was light with happy disbelief but still heavy with sorrow. It split her in two, and both Shepards spoke to the room.

“Yes,” Hackett added, “Yes, we did.”

“More of us than we expected,” Kaidan added, echoing Shepard’s sentiment.

“But not everyone,” Liara continued sadly.

“No, not everyone,” Shepard echoed.

“The situation,” Hackett started, looking awkwardly around the room, “Is… complicated.”

“It’s always complicated, sir,” Wrex said.

“That it is,” he agreed, “But, uh… This is a different kind of complicated.”

“Sir?” Shepard asked.

“As you all know, the Citadel was moved,” he continued.

“And Shepard blew it up,” Garrus added.

“Yeah,” Shepard said, “I blew it up.”

“Not all of it,” Javik stated firmly.

“Yes,” Hackett confirmed, “Not all of it. In fact, a lot of it is very much intact, and the rest is mostly salvageable. More than that, we now have access to areas previously unknown within it. And there’s… well, there’s a lot of power there.”

“It’s still smoldering and you’ve already got people stripping it for parts?” Kaidan raged, “The extranet is still patchy, the relays are a mess, but you—”

“Calm yourself, Major,” Hackett warned, “It wasn’t me who commanded them there. It’s the acting global government, and they’re backed by a few prominent… investors.”

Wrex pounded his chest, “It’s that Merritt asshole I keep telling you about! Him and his goons!”

“That’s not how I would put it,” Hackett said, “But yes, Merritt was at the head of that operation.”

“I fucking knew it!” Wrex shouted. He stormed out of the room. Hopefully that meant he would actually take the rest of his day off.

Hackett waited for him to leave and turned back to Shepard, “Should we be worried? Is he gonna—”

“No, sir. Don’t worry about it,” she answered quickly, “He just needs some air and he’ll be fine. I can brief him personally later.”

Hackett nodded and continued, “Merrit is getting other officials on board with his proposition to repair the Citadel while it’s still over our orbit, using Earth’s resources—”

“Right,” Shepard interrupted, thoughtful, “And then Earth would have the strongest claim? Is that where this is going?”

“Essentially. He’s never talked about it in anything other than altruistic terms, but if rebuilding it becomes an Earth-centered project…”

“Then the rest of the galaxy would be in Earth’s debt?” Kaidan asked rhetorically.

“Literally and figuratively,” Hackett nodded, “Merritt is working with those investors to cover the financial costs, but I’ve looked at it, had my legal team take a look too, and there’s a few clauses in there that tie that debt to the other Council species. Or any species who can pay the fee.”

“But that would,” Liara started to exclaim, “Earth would… Any species?!”

“As long as they can pay their way in,” Tali growled, arms folded.

“It’s a terrible plan, and I don’t want to see it come about,” Hackett commanded.

“I hear you loud and clear, sir,” Shepard said.

“Officially, I haven’t told you anything. I’m here to congratulate a war hero and an old friend,” Hackett stood up to say his goodbyes and shake every hand in the room.

Then Miranda and Jack burst in with Kasumi in tow.

“Oh, hello,” Jack said, “People!”

“Miranda,” Shepard asked, “What the fuck are you wearing?”

“This?” Miranda answered awkwardly, “Something new.”

“Something borrowed,” Jack explained further.

Kaidan couldn’t help himself, “Something… blue?”

It was red but that’s not how the phrase went.

“Not now, Kaidan,” Tali said.

“Okay.”

Miranda addressed Hackett gracefully, even in her current state of dirt and undress. “Sir, you’re going to want to stay and hear this. It can’t be a full debrief, but still.”

Hackett nodded and she continued, “Well we checked in on Councilor Hansen, following a lead picked up by one of Jack’s students.”

“What kind of lead?” he asked.

Jack shrugged, “Just a lead, a vague one. But it’s all we had.”

“The good news is, we found something,” Miranda said, “And the bad news… well…”

“We blew him up.”

“You what?!” Shepard shouted.

“We didn’t mean to!” Miranda continued, “It was an honest accident.”

“Does anyone know about this?” Hackett asked.

“You’re shitting me! They haven’t found him yet? They will if they check his office,” Jack laughed, “It’s a mess.”

“He’s dead!” Miranda chastised, “He’s dead and you’re laughing!”

“Lot of people are dead; this one was funny.”

“Get to the point,” Shepard urged them.

“Right, boss is here! Turns out that guy was hiding some primo Cerberus data. He was either planning to sell it or use it himself, but who cares? We have it now. Kasumi? Miranda? If you will.”

Kasumi stepped forward, “Sir, I’ve shared some files with you related to Cerberus. Keep them hidden. Keep them safe.”

Miranda continued, “We can’t talk about it more here, but we could meet later on the Normandy.”

“The future of Earth and this galaxy thanks you,” Hackett nodded, “and now I must leave you all.”

He stepped out of the room.

Shepard sighed, “I guess somebody should go check on Wrex. We don’t want another dead councilor on our hands.” She glared at Miranda and Jack, “Do we?”

* * * * * *

And then they were alone again! It wasn’t perfect, but it was almost a honeymoon.

Kaidan cursed when they were apart but was almost thankful to have discovered her now. Her face was still severely bruised, but it looked like her face. She slept and slept but spent a lot of time conscious too. He didn’t just find her; he could see she was going to be okay. But even then, he would’ve sacrificed something precious to have spent the last two months by her side.

Shepard stirred in her sleep and Kaidan stopped breathing to not wake her.

She stretched and moved about anyway. By the time she opened her eyes, Kaidan was holding water out for her.

She blinked, “Did I nap again?”

“Hydrate,” he commanded. She took a sip.

“Good. And yes. You fell asleep right after everyone left.”

“I don’t want to miss any time with you.”

“You need rest, Shepard. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“That’s the problem. You don’t follow me into my dreams.”

“I would if I could.”

He bent over to kiss her. A high moan pitched in his throat as their lips met. It was gratitude shouting out of him.

His mouth only left hers to say, “I love you.”

Her eyes were filling up, “I love yo—”

“Shepard! Uh—Kaidan too!”

Joker’s voice came shaking through Kaidan’s omnitool. He was always interrupting their moments!

“Joker!”

“You have to come… You have to—Oh god…” his voice had a weird kind of panic they’d never heard in it before.

“Joker?” Shepard’s tone matched his urgency. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

They just heard his cries over the comms.

Kaidan put his omnitool up to his face, “Joker?!”

The line dropped, and they were left to stare at each other in shock.

Joker really tried to say it, but nothing could make the words come out to describe what he was seeing.

She was there. She was standing right there.

“Hello.”

She spoke to him, and he tried to greet her, but she had no idea who he was.

He couldn’t say her name. Couldn’t say her name. But it was—

“I sense you are in distress. Please let me know if I can be of any assistance.”

“…EDI?”

“Enhanced Defense Intelligence.” She said more but that was all he heard.

Traynor was in the room too. Always there when he entered it; always coming in when he was there.

Sam was on her knees, sobbing, “I did it! I did it! I did it!” Her voice didn’t even sound Human.

Horrified, Joker could only sit down and cry.

Her funeral shroud was empty, and there she was holding out her hand.

“You have fallen down,” EDI stated. Her words were devoid of her soul.

“Traynor,” his voice was barely more than a gasp, “What have you done?”

[All Chapters]

#shenko #angst #fluff #estrella shepard #kaidan alenko #mass effect #post me3 #full fic #fshenko #kaidan x shepard #shepard x kaidan #aftermath fic #BrishFics

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nomniki · 9 months

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NEW CHASER ALERT banging pots and pans stamping my feet everybody wake up!!! but honestly i'm glad you're more motivated and in a better place to write ella!!! it's always the best when you're feeling inspired,, and this chap is so....... ynji are seriously so unserious like,, ynnie starting up a new hate account with the most obvious handle just to hate on jisung even more and not even deleting the old one??? is crazy because i know they're fake dating but i found out someone i was dating had an account FILLED with threats against my life that put them on a watchlist and they kept it up after we got together...... crazy,, and then sungie pulling yn into the closet bc he was abt to get caught throwing smth at her as that is going to solve any of their problems?? i swear jisung just causes more and more problems to solve the problems he already has and digs himself into hole after hole,,, also unrelated but felix catching strays for a loud laugh when he's barely even the chapter like give my baby a break it's so-- anyway thank you for the chapter ella!!! i hope you have a great weekend i loved the update and this series is sooooo fun i can't wait to read what's next <333 and i hope your summer is going well !! 💜

JUNIE IVE MISSED THESE ASKS SM :((( i feel like the chapter is so chaotic like THERES SM HAPPENING !!!! yn making a new hate account had me giggling to myself because it’s so HER like who is yn if not an avid hater . smth like some silly fake dating won’t stop her 😊 STOP IMAGINE JISUNF FINDINF OUT AND BEINF SO >:( ABOUT IT AND YN IS LIKE . it was justified but now i feel a teeny bit bad UNTIL SHE FINDS OHT THIS MF HAS ONE TOO !!!!! jisung’s first instinct upon seeing her is to throw smth they r so cutie ! I HOPE UR ALSO ENJOYING UR WEEKEND JUNIE and i’m so excited for ch9 and the rest of chaser i feel sm EXCITEMENT !!!! i hope ur summer is going great junie, how r things with ur school application i need updates !!

#ella answers #ella’s 💜 anon

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strawberryfairi · 11 hours

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You talk about forgetting your stories as if it is possible to forget any of them!!!!🫠🫠

Your stories are the death of me.🥹❤️

Synopsis✨: The story of how you catch heavy feelings for the hot photography student, Shuji Hanma…even though you already have the perfect (fake) boyfriend.

w.c: 4k💠 Released: April 29, 2024

Previous | Next... | Chapters Masterlist

NOTE🧚🏾‍♀️: ( For sweet anon: LITERALLY STAWP! MY HEART🥹❤️) Y'all...my fault y'all, dang I'm late with this chapter update😭 but that's ok! This chapter is a bit on the shorter side (4k instead of the usual 5k) but chapter 11 will hopefully be much longer!

C.W: TRIGGER WARNING! Angst (not as much as last chapter though), mentions of date rape/sexual assault, reader has a seizure, "Rape Kit" (Sexual Assault Forensic Exam) mentioned, Best Friend Keisuke Baji is supportive!!!

10; Allegations 指控

Shuji feels a heavy weight partially lift off of his shoulders when he sees you finally awake, but it also pained him the way you looked so tired and devastated, sitting there with red, puffy eyes.

"Hey pretty girl." He says softly, reaching over and wiping a few stray tears with the back of his hand. It felt so strange to him, being so soft and gentle with someone, and caring so much. He never realized how powerful tears could be until right now. You had his heart clenching and didn't even know it.

"I don't feel pretty. I feel terrible." You mutter blandly with a light sniffle, looking down with a deep frown on your lips.

"Trust me you're still a ten even in a hospital bed." He grins, attempting to lighten the mood, but honestly...it was just truly how he felt.

"Stop..." You purse your lips together, trying not to smile at that.

"I mean it." He says softly, leaning down and giving you a quick, uncharacteristically gentle kiss.

Finally you give him a smile, that cute, shy smile that gets him every time. But as fast as the smile appeared, it faded right back into that same deep frown from before. "I-...I don't want you to go away." You murmur sadly, looking up at him with nearly desperate looking eyes.

Shuji furrows his brows. "What're you talkin' about? I'm right here. I'm not goin' anywhere."

"No." You shake your head, "I mean...I-I don't want you to leave me. I don't want this to go away." Your tone is so quiet he almost doesn't hear you, or really, he almost doesn't believe you actually just said that.

"Angel...-

"I don't want you to be like this with another girl; doing to her what you do to me. I want you to just be this way with me, 'cause I-...I li-

Abruptly, Shuji cuts you off with a soft kiss. He wasn't fully sure why he went and did it but, it was just the first thing that came to his mind. Slowly he pulls away, his eyes closed as he struggles to manage the awkward and unnecessarily aggressive pounding in his chest.

"Don't say it." He whispers desperately.

"But-

"I'm serious, you don't know what you're talkin' about. I don't think you really mean all this." He says rather uneasily.

"No, I do! I mean it, I like you!" You assert in a bit of a whiny tone, looking up at him with the most sincerest expression you could muster.

"No", He shakes his head, "No, you don't. You're just...probably feelin' emotional right now 'cause of everything goin' on." He concludes. Truly he wasn't sure he could handle hearing this from you.

You frown, but press on anyways, determined to get your feelings across. "I like you, Shuji. I wanna be more-

"Stop." He says wearily. The more you say it the more it forces him to have to actually acknowledge it, actually do something about it, and he had no idea what to do about this.

"Don't you?! Don't you like me too?! You really don't feel anything for me; not-..not at all?!" Your eyes instantly blur for the thousandth time, small tears starting to make their way down your cheeks just as you had finally stopped crying a second ago.

Shuji sighs exasperatedly, feeling like an asshole for making you cry, even though he was ninety eight percent sure this was purely just heat of the moment, high emotions talk. "Come on, don't cry angel; where's this even comin' from? You have a boyfriend, remember? You know that. You can't ask me somethin' like this." He coos, wiping away your tears with his thumb. He feels so hypocritical saying that. Since when has he ever given a shit about you having a boyfriend?

"So, you don't then? This whole time you-...you don't really like me?" You sniffle, casting your gaze downwards in a mixture of hurt and embarrassment. Shuji feels stuck, at a complete loss as he tries to rack his brain for something to say that could possibly diffuse this. For the first time ever he feels completely overwhelmed by a situation; by another person. This was way too far out of his usual territory, and it's throwing him off.

"I-...look, I really don't think this is the right time to talk about-

"Do you or not?!" You press, becoming annoyed at the way he keeps fumbling around and deflecting. For a moment there's nothing but silence between you two. Both eyes locked onto one another stubbornly, inaudibly waiting for the other to crack and accept their loss.

Then finally, Shuji looks to the side with a grunt, jaw clenching tightly while facepalming in defeat. "...I do." He admits in a hushed, low tone.

"What?" You mutter in surprise, blinking a few times.

"I got feelings for you. I've had feelings for you for a while now." He clarifies, his tone still soft yet there's a clear discomfort. "But...you know I don't know anything about that boyfriend stuff; I'm not good at that kind'a thing. I can't give you what you need." He adds apologetically. Instantly you feel a small sharp sting in your heart, completely taken aback by his excuse.

"What does that mean? You-..so you don't wanna be with me?" You mutter.

Shuji feels genuinely terrible, the way your voice is shaking with that hurt expression, it's killing him. "It's not about if I wanna be with you. Even if I wanted to you're already with somebody else. We can't be more than this anyways." He shakes his head, brushing your tear stained cheek with the back of his fingers.

You use a little bit of strength to place your small hand over his. "If I wasn't with him would you be with me?" You ask, looking him right in the eyes, not at all believing his words. He's never been the type to not go after something he wanted, no matter if it was his or not.

Shuji huffs tiredly, once again feeling cornered by your difficult questions. "I mean, I don't know, I-

"Would you?" You cut him off, your tone soft yet you were clearly getting impatient.

You and that look in your eyes is gonna be the death of him for sure. "If you weren't with him you'd probably already be my girl by now." He admits straight away. Inwardly he was cringing so hard at himself, second guessing his own response.

That sounded sappy as fuck...

You seemed to think otherwise though, with the way your lips instantly curve into a small, warm smile. "I wanna be your girl, Shuji." You hum longingly. Softly you brush your pretty lips against the back of his tattooed hand, looking him in the eyes with a passion-filled gaze all the while.

"What the hell are you doin', angel?" Shuji whispers breathlessly. The audacity to say something like that and do something like that, all while looking at him like that...

In any other normal situation you pulling off something like this would damn sure have him bending you over the nearest surface and making you his girl. Shit, you could be whatever you wanted talking to him like that.

"I'm just telling you what I want." You murmur honestly against his hand.

"I think...the drugs are talkin' right now." He chokes out hesitantly, using every bit of his strength to block out all the loud, sexual thoughts trying to force its way to the forefront of his mind. "I don't care, it's still how I feel. I wanna be with you." You answer without even a second of hesitation, shaking your head.

Shuji wonders if this must be how you feel when he sort of acts this way towards you, a wild mixture of feeling both so tempted yet so damn conflicted. You really have him fully seduced and wrapped around your little ass finger, ready to do whatever you ask without a second of hesitation.

"Only you would have me genuinely turned on while literally laying in a hospital bed." He facepalms, resting his head down on your shoulder.

"I hope..." You start rather arbitrarily, turning your head towards him as you let go of his hand, "The next time I'm in a hospital bed will be because you finally put a baby in me." You murmur innocently.

"What?!" Shuji instantly whips his head up, blinking a few times while looking at you with his jaw on the floor. For the first time in his life something someone else has said to him has him literally dumbfounded. The audacity...the randomness, it was so....hot. His brain was completely malfunctioning, both trying to process and replay your words at the same time to make sure he actually heard you right.

Meanwhile you're just sitting there, sheepishly pursing your lips together to hide the little cutesy smile on your face, and it's making him mad. More like a concerning level of sexually frustrated, but that's besides the point. It's heinous the way you have him fully bricked up and ready in this stupid ass hospital, yet he can't do anything about it, and you're literally proud about that! It should be illegal to say something like that so innocently. You knew exactly what you were doing, and you knew it was working too.

"You don't know what you're sayin'. You-...you're talkin' crazy, baby." He says softly, shaking his head while running a hand through his dark hair.

"No I'm not." You deny in such an innocent, sweet tone.

"Yeah, ok. We'll see if that's still how you feel when you're fully sober." He chuckles dryly, deeply inhaling and exhaling to keep that tiny little shred of composure he had left.

Then with absolutely perfect timing, Dr. Chen walks back in with a clipboard full of documents. Thank God, if he had stayed any longer he was a undoubtedly sure he was gonna end up risking it all in this hospital and doing some shit he really shouldn't.

"I have the documents here for you to sign and give consent for the forensic exam process." She states politely, walking over to the other side of the hospital bed and placing the clipboard on your lap.

"Feel free to stay if you'd like. We can't start until all the documents are signed, so you have some time." She adds, turning her attention to him.

"Nah nah, I should go." He shakes his head. "I'll come back later." He adds softly, giving you one last look before making his way to the door.

Just as Shuji leaves your room, a familiar face makes him stop dead in his tracks. It's your late ass "boyfriend", and he looks pissed, storming over to him with his eyes blazing with animosity.

Perfect timing....how ironic.

"I fuckin' knew it. I knew it would be you!" He grits out, stepping right up to him.

On the bright side, this is the perfect opportunity for Shuji to let off some of his frustration. Definitely not in the way he'd like to, but...it'll have to do for now.

Meanwhile, Keisuke and Kazutora are just down the hall, coming back from one of the nearest vending machines with their hands full of snacks. "Wait wait wait, you hear that?" Kazutora murmurs, slowing to a stop as he listens intently to the semi-faded yelling.

"Is that Ryuguji?! How the hell does he know about this?!" Kei rambles in bewilderment.

"Oh, I texted him a while ago. I figured he'd wanna know since it's his girlfriend." Kazutora shrugs plainly.

"You idiot..." Kei narrows his eyes.

"What?! What'd I do?!"

"Bro, they're not on good terms right now!" Kei scolds.

"Who?! Hanma and Ryuguji?" Kazutora's brows furrow.

"Nooooo! Ryuguji and Y/N aren't cool right now! But I mean, I guess him and Hanma aren't cool either."

Kazutora's mouth falls into an "O" shape, the both of them going silent as they listen in to whatever was going on.

"Don't fuckin' play these stupid ass games with me! I know for a fact you're the one fuckin' my girl! Don't even try to act like it's not true, Hanma!" Ryuguji accuses.

Both Kei and Kazutora's eyes go wide, mouths dropping as they look at each other utterly shook.

"Whaaaaaat?!" Kazutora mouths quietly.

"What is goin' on?!" Kei murmurs.

"Did you know that?!" Kazutora whispers.

"Hell no! I didn't even know he knew Y/N!" Kei shakes his head frantically.

"Woooooow." Kazutora whispers.

"Your girl?! You're really bitchin' to me about games when you're the one playing pretend with her every single day. She's literally never been your girl." Hanma claps back nonchalantly.

"Wait what?!" Kazutora gasps once again.

"Ok, well see, that I did know." Kei murmurs.

"What does he mean pretend?!" Kazutora whispers.

"So like, Y/N and Ryuguji are actually a fake couple, bro. They're not really together; never have been." Kei explains briefly.

At this point Kazutora has to take a short lap, his brain failing to comprehend the whole situation. "Wait hold up, hold up. Y/N and Ryuguji...aren't actually together. Then on top of that, she's in a whole separate thing with Hanma at the same time?!"

"I-..I guess so, yeah. She didn't tell me the part with Hanma though; I have no idea where or when he came in." Keisuke shrugs, feeling just as lost as his friend.

"It's like a fake love triangle. No, a...love diagonal? I don't even know, college is crazy bro." Kazutora shakes his head. "Should we like...break this up though?"

"Not even gonna lie, I'm kinda trynna hear this." Kei admits with a guilty laugh. "No facts, this is dramatic as fuck." Kazutora nods, joining in with the laughter, then tuning back into the argument.

"That doesn't matter! You probably didn't even know it was fake until she told you at some point! That means before that, you knew we were together, yet you still went after her anyways!" Ken rants.

Shuji pauses for a second, looking to the side in thought before forming a response. "Ok...sure. You're still not actually together though, so being mad at me is crazy. You should actually be her real boyfriend in the first place before being this pissed that she's fuckin' someone else." Hanma shrugs plainly.

Kazutora leans over towards Keisuke, whispering quietly "They're really deadass fighting over her..."

"No like, in the middle of a hospital too. When has Hanma ever argued over a girl, bro?" Keisuke says in a dazed tone.

"Never...never." Kazutora responds.

"If this were the other way around-

"If this were the other way around she'd actually be mine. I would never be caught in a fake ass relationship then have the audacity to be mad when I find out she's fuckin' someone else! That's just straight idiot behavior." Shuji cuts off Ken annoyedly, his tone fully condescending.

"You're going out of your way to miss the point, Hanma! You're a fuckin' snake!" Ken rants.

"I'm a snake 'cause your "girlfriend" wants to be with me instead?!"

"Because you stole her from me! On purpose!"

"She's not yours to steal! You're relationship is faaake! That shit ain't real!" Shuji stresses.

Ken clenches his jaw angrily. "Unlike you, I actually give a damn about her! And honestly, wether our relationship's real or not, I'm the one she's with at the end of the day, not you!" Ken points out with angry finality. And with that, Shuji was completely over this argument. Using being a fake boyfriend as a flex was the dumbest shit he's ever heard possibly in his whole life.

"Right, sure. She might be your "girlfriend" or whatever, but that doesn't really mean shit when I'm all she thinks about every time she's with you." He countered with a level of pride that made Ken's blood boiling hot.

"Ooooo..." Both Kazutora and Keisuke murmur lowly. "That was excellent. He won with that one." Kazutora says, hovering a hand over his mouth. "To be honest, Ryuguji was never gonna win this. They've been "together" for like two years and he's still never bothered to make it official?! No, he's trash. Completely fumbled the bag."

"Y/N's pretty too, he really-

Kazutora cuts himself off, watching with wide eyes as Ryuguji suddenly goes for a punch right for Hanma's face. "OOOOHHHH!" The two guys gasp loudly. "I knew that was comin'." Keisuke shakes his head. Ken went and set things off to a whole other level. Both of them start full out fighting right in the middle of the waiting area...in the middle of a hospital.

"Shit, alright, we gotta jump in! You get Hanma, I'll handle Ryuguji!" Keisuke says hurriedly. The two of them sort of scramble around for a second, trying to figure out where to put their snacks before just leaving it all on the floor and racing over to the fight.

"Ryuguji, chill the fuck out! You're in a hospital! This is crazy!" Keisuke scolds, grabbing him by the forearm. It was like Kei wasn't even there with the way Ken just kept swinging and shit talking. It didn't take too much for Kazutora to get Hanma to back off, seeing as he wasn't nearly as pissed.

"Just admit you're jealous, Hanma!" Ryuguji shouts.

"You're so delusional it's actually sad. The only one jealous is you 'cause you know Y/N doesn't feel the same way about you!" Shuji retaliates.

"Don't even bother, don't even bother." Kazutora says, shaking his head as he tries to drag Hanma along towards the hallway him and Keisuke had just came from.

"Do you even actually give a shit about her-

"Ryuguji shut the fuck up!" Keisuke outbursts loudly. That last bit Ken had said just hit him all kinds of wrong. Finally he shuts up, no longer struggling against Keisuke's grasp as he looks at him with wide eyes, completely caught off guard that he'd went and yelled at him like that.

"You're really over here talkin' about if he gives a shit about Y/N?! Do you even realize that as soon as you got here the very first thing you decided to do was start a stupid ass argument with Hanma when your supposed girlfriend is literally laying in a hospital bed right there?!" Keisuke rants, pointing over at your room just a few feet away.

Ken freezes, the awareness of what he did, or rather didn't do, finally starting to sink in. There were so many people staring at him, looks of distaste being thrown his way from the nurses, families, and patients alike.

"Exactly. I swear Ryuguji I don't know what the hell's goin' on with you lately, but you need to get it together real fuckin' quick. There's no way you really believe you love Y/N when not at any point did you go and check on her, or even just look at her to see if she's fine! She got drugged, bro; she had a seizure! When I went in there she was scared as fuck, she could barely even move! You'd actually know all that had you gone in there to see her!"

The more Keisuke spoke the more utterly embarrassed Ken felt. Once again he goes and screws everything up by running his mouth. It wasn't like he wasn't worried about you or didn't wanna check on you, it's just...when he saw Hanma come out of your room his mind went somewhere else.

It's the fact that he was here before him, already having checked on you and supporting you; probably holding you close and making sure you felt safe. It made him feel like a failure. What good was he when already three other guys were here for you?

It's what he's always been afraid of, that you're just fine and completely unfazed without him. For the longest time that's been his worst nightmare, and somehow he never thought it could get worse than how bad it already was.

Now Hanma's just his nightmare in physical form. The personification of all his fears when it comes to you, and during his entire argument with him all Ken could hear in his mind was:

He's everything I'm not...

Horrific images of the two of you together haunted him every second he looked at Hanma. He could see your arms around him, exchanging kisses and smiles; running your little fingers through his hair. Any thought of your desperate boyfriend completely gone out of your mind.

Honestly Ken just wants you to need him like he needs you. To feel like you have nothing if you don't have him. He wants you to fall apart without him so he can come and piece you back together, like how you'd always do with him. But today just made it obvious.

That's probably never gonna happen...

Then right on cue, he spots someone at the end of one of the hallways that led from the main lobby of the hospital.

Your mother.

Everybody's hearts seemed to drop to their feet at the sight of her. It didn't take rocket science for Shuji and Kazutora to realize you were related. You were this woman's spitting image. "Ms. L/N..." Keisuke whispers under his breath, taking a step away from Ken. With a strained exhale she makes her way over to where Ken and Keisuke are in the center of the waiting area. Kazutora and Hanma are completely frozen, just watching as she approaches the other two.

"Ms. L/N, I-I'm so sorr-

She doesn't even look at Ken, just raises her hand without a word, immediately silencing him. She definitely heard and saw everything, or at least a good portion. That much was obvious.

"Keisuke?" She says lowly, actually looking at him.

"Yes ma'am?" He responds instantly, tone dripping with politeness and respect.

"Take me to my daughter's room. Right now." Ms. L/N demands, her voice making it clear she was not trynna hear anything other than yes.

"Ok. She's in here." He nods, quickly making his way to her side.

"Thank you." She breathes out tiredly.

Ken stands there, eyes wide in a mixture of embarrassment and shock. Your mom really chose Keisuke over him...right in front of him. She'd rather a friend go in there with her than her own daughter's boyfriend?! At this point he couldn't tell which thing hurt more, the fact that you're slipping away from him, or the fact that your mom didn't even trust him anymore.

Later That Evening

Your eyes could barely stay open from how tired you are at this point. You needed your bed immediately, and nothing else. The examination process was finally over, and you were almost cleared to leave the hospital, but your mom's constant rambling and nagging was just getting started.

"-You hear me? Not another second with that boy!"

"Who? Keisuke?" You murmur tiredly, brows slightly furrowed in genuine confusion.

"No! I mean that boy you've been messing around with! He's caused nothing but trouble for you, and I've had enough! I'm over it; this is too much!" She stresses, gesturing towards all of you with a hand.

"He's not the one that did this." You shake your head. It hadn't even fully registered to you that she's somehow well aware about you and Shuji.

"That's not the point, Y/N. I don't want you around him anymore; I mean that."

You didn't have the energy to put up much of a fight and protest, honestly you were sure you'd probably go home and forget this conversation too just like everything else from today.

Once the doctors clear you, your mom decides to be the one to take you back to your dorm, leaving Keisuke, Ken, and everyone else to head off by themselves.

Your mom came with you all the way up to your dorm room, making sure you were in there safe and sound before finally heading out. Of course not without making it clear for the thousandth time that she doesn't want you anywhere near Shuji.

Immediately you practically rip your clothes off then plop face first right onto your plush bed. "What kind of day was this?" You whisper to yourself, that weighty, dark feeling making its way back onto your shoulders with full force. It was shocking yet really not that no more tears were left, your body too exhausted to do anything else but lay. Weakly you get yourself under the blankets, snuggling and curling into a little ball to comfort yourself and bring some warmth.

A/N🧚🏾‍♀️: I'm literally at the point where Ken is giving me the craziest ick with the way I'm writing him omg. I can't with him in this story...💀

#strawberryfairi🧚🏾‍♀️#a mile away ㊙️#shuji hanma x black fem reader #shuji hanma x reader #ken ryuguji x reader #tokyo rev #black female writer #shuji hanma x fem reader #shuji hanma x you #chapter update #chapter 10 #finally another chapter omg

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