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yoongiseesawmp3 · 3 years

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just about perfect - seonghwa

howdy folks, back with another fic but i’m switching it up on ya! i might start writing regularly for ateez as well so y’all are cool with that right? right.

summary: this is NOT inspired by seonghwa saying he watches nevertheless. why would you even think that.

warnings: not the kind of warning u were expecting but there’s no smut (i know its based off a show abt friends with benefits so that’s why i’m warning u. do not get ur hopes up) a little cussing, a lotta me waxing poetic abt the perfect man park seonghwa. also slight tomfoolery from the teezers

word count: 10.6k

the bookstore just off campus is your current go-to study spot, mostly because the cafe inside has a drink special where you buy one coffee and get a voucher for the new bakery next door. so, let’s just say the past few days you’ve been well caffeinated and well fed. you’re on the way there now, already planning out what your treats are going to be.

today you were supposed to meet your “study group” after your last class of the day, but it looks like you’re the only one here so far. and you say “study group” loosely, the professor for your music theory elective encouraged everyone to make a study group for the upcoming final and your group of friends chose to work together. there’s been no studying going on, though.

especially not when hongjoong’s new friend seonghwa has been flirting with you literally nonstop. he’s apparently friends with everyone else in your group too. san knows him from an art class they took together last semester, meanwhile wooyoung and yeosang claim they lived on seonghwa’s floor freshman year and he always bought them booze. seonghwa denies it, only because hongjoong would slap him if he admitted to buying alcohol for underage kids.

tasteful delinquency aside, seonghwa is a fine person. you mean personality fine, not like, fine fine even though san would beg to differ. he knows you’ve developed a thing for seonghwa despite trying not to, and he’s secretly trying to get you two together.

which is why san suddenly texts you and says he can’t make it, and neither can yeosang or wooyoung. they decided to ditch studying to practice for the final in their dance class instead, so it’ll be just you, seonghwa and hongjoong. and little did you know, hongjoong was trying to do the same thing as san. so we’ll see how this goes.

“y/n, you can’t do that,” hongjoong warns you, referring to the scale you were trying to fill out.

“why not?” you ask, looking down at your work and wondering what’s wrong.

“because it’ll sound like shit,” seonghwa replies before sipping his coffee.

“what he said,” hongjoong agrees, grabbing your paper and erasing some of the notes you had scribbled out. “it should look more like this.”

you glance over at what he’s done on top of your old work and sigh. you took this class because you like music, and you thought learning about how it works would be interesting, but it’s hard.

“can’t you just do all my work for me?” you plead. at this rate, you don’t think you’ll be able to pass the final.

“no, i don’t want you dragging me down in this class,” hongjoong replies. “my grades are great.”

“i hate you.”

“what are you struggling with, y/n?” seonghwa asks as he finally looks up from his laptop. he had been working on an assignment for another class this whole time because he, like hongjoong, is great with music theory. so maybe this study group was a good thing.

“here, you can switch seats with me,” hongjoong says as he clears the spot next to you on the weathered loveseat. “i’m going to look for a book i should’ve started reading two weeks ago.”

before you can protest, seonghwa is sliding his laptop across the coffeetable and slides himself into the spot next to you. when he sits you notice your thighs are touching, which is weird because there was plenty of space when hongjoong was here. you don’t know that seonghwa is doing this on purpose, that hongjoon really left so he could flirt with the cute cashier in the cafe to give you and seonghwa some alone time.

“so,” seonghwa starts once he’s settled. “what are you struggling with?”

“hmm, all of it?” you reply. your answer makes seonghwa smile, and you like the way his eyes sparkle when he does.

“then i guess we’ll be here a while.”

about an hour later, seonghwa has walked you through all the major and minor scales you need to know for the test and you’re starting to understand a little more. you’re still having problems with the back of the study guide where you have to come up with note combinations that can apply to those scales, but you have time to work on that since the final is two weeks out. right now, your brain is fried and you need a break.

“do you mind if i go get a coffee?” you ask seonghwa, who was in the middle of sending you the minor scale cheat sheet he made. he looks up from his laptop and shakes his head before he speaks.

“i would only mind if i can’t come with you.”

“it’s literally right over there, why do you need to come with me?” you question.

“i think i would just miss you too much,” he pouts, and you roll your eyes. seonghwa shuts his laptop and stands up. “what if i need coffee too?”

“you already had one,” you remind him as you stand.

“yeah,” he nods. “but teaching you is exhausting, so i need another. c’mon.”

he walks ahead of you to the counter, and you’re too busy searching for your wallet to notice he took his jacket off, revealing a sneaky tattoo on the back of his neck. it isn’t until you’re behind him in line that you get a look at the hand drawn star right on the nape of his neck, and you have to refrain from reaching out to trace the lines.

“i didn’t know you had a tattoo,” you decide to say. he turns around and instinctively rubs his hand across the tattoo, smiling at you with those sparkly eyes again.

“yeah, i have a couple,” he replies. “but this one is my favorite.”

“why?”

“because my name means ‘to become a star’, so i like knowing that i have a reminder with me all the time,” he explains.

“nice. it’s really pretty.”

“thanks, so are you.”

“sir?” the barista calls, pulling seonghwa’s attention from you. he steps up to give his order as you stare at the tattoo again, noticing alongside it a couple of freckles that almost make it look like a constellation.

“y/n?” seonghwa’s voice draws you out of your thoughts and you realize he’s finished ordering. “what do you want?”

“oh, i can get it,” you begin, but he cuts you off.

“no, my treat,” he insists, and you sheepishly walk up to the counter to give your order. seonghwa makes a mental note of what you get, and he also snatches the bakery voucher from you before you can put it in your pocket. you make a confused sound and seonghwa laughs.

“why’d you do that?” you whine.

“you only get to use it if you come with me to the bakery later,” he teases. “say yes or i’m drinking your coffee and getting myself an extra cupcake.”

“fine,” you huff. “but i have an assignment due at midnight, so i can’t stay long.”

“it’s 4pm, that’s not enough time for you to finish it?” he asks while you step out of the way for the next customers.

“i haven’t started yet,” you admit.

“you like saving things until the last minute, don’t you?”

“what makes you say that?”

“well, it looks like you haven’t been studying music theory at all, and now this,” he shrugs.

“not everybody can be perfect like you, park seonghwa,” you grumble as the barista places two coffee cups on the bar. you hear seonghwa giggle shortly, and you give him a questioning look.

“so you think i’m perfect?” he smirks.

it’s the next day, almost midnight, and you really need spray paint.

why? well, you’re stressed because you have so much to study for your finals and you don’t know where to start. yes, seonghwa helped yesterday, but he’s not in all your other classes, so you’ve decided you need a break from tearing your hair out over the material you can’t comprehend. the best way to distract yourself from that is to finally paint that dresser you got from a garage sale a few months ago, hence the spray paint.

thankfully, san is still awake, and he has a car, so you ask him to pick you up for a quick run to the art supply store that’s surprisingly still open. a bonus of going to college in the city, you can get anything almost whenever you need it.

“thanks for coming to get me,” you tell san as you hop into his car.

“no problem,” he replies. “i was bored and hongjoong said he needed paint pens so this is a win-win situation. plus, i get to hear about your date with seonghwa yesterday.”

“it was not a date,” you groan, choosing to ignore the suggestive way san is looking at you right now.

“but you spent the whole afternoon together,” san starts. “he bought you coffee and you went to the bakery together and talked about, like, your favorite colors and stuff. sounds like a date to me.”

“how do you know all that?”

“seonghwa told hongjoong and then hongjoong told me,” he explains as he turns onto the street that’ll take you to the art store.

“well tell hongjoong that i’m still mad at him for ditching us,” you reply. “and i’m still kinda mad at you and the other two for bailing in the first place.”

“hey, if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have had your first date with seonghwa,” san points out.

“it was not a date!” you cry. “we studied most of the time we were together, then he bought my coffee and bullied me into going to the bakery. i couldn’t stay long because i had a paper to write, so we talked about stupid shit until i had to leave.”

“it sounds like the beginning of true love to me,” san sing-songs.

“stop the car, i’ve decided to walk.”

when you get to the store, san separates from you quickly because he sees his friend mingi behind the counter. they’re busy talking while you search the store for the paints, and you’re so busy looking up at the aisle names that you don’t notice you’re about to run into someone.

“hey-” you start to complain, but you recognize the man you almost bumped into. “oh, seonghwa.”

“y/n,” he smiles at you. “what are you doing out so late?”

“uh, distracting myself from how small my brain is,” you explain. “what are you doing here?”

“hongjoong needed paint pens,” he says, and you’re about two seconds away from finding san and slapping him. did they really plan this too?

“why didn’t he come get them?” you ask as you remember what you’re here to find. your eyes scan the aisle behind seonghwa and you spot the paint cans at the end, but he’s in your way.

“i offered,” he says with a shrug.

“you must be a really good friend, then.”

“well you did call me perfect yesterday, so...” he trails off, smirking. you roll your eyes at him but can’t help the blush creeping up your neck. he interrupts his new favorite activity of staring deeply into your eyes (just to fluster you, of course) and he sees that you’re looking past him at the shelves of paint. “you need something down here?”

“um, yeah, the spray paint,” you reply, awkwardly trying to skirt around him to get into the aisle. he steps aside to let you through, but still follows you as you search for the color you want.

“what are you making?”

“i’m painting a scuffed up dresser i’ve had for a while, so i want something simple that’ll go with the rest of the things in my room,” you explain as you stop walking and crane your neck to scan the bottles on the top shelf. seonghwa stops behind you and places his hand on the small of your back as he reaches for a can just out of your reach.

“what about this one?” he offers, handing you a can of light blue paint. it’s really pretty, and it’ll stand out with the white furniture you already have, but you really like it.

“oh, that’s perfect!” you say as you take the can from his hands.

“there you go again,” seonghwa teases, and you shoot him a questioning look. he smiles as he responds. “calling me perfect?”

“i said the paint was perfect, weirdo,” you snap. “but thank you for finding this.”

“anytime,” he tells you. “you said your favorite color was blue right?”

“right...” you mumble, thinking back to the conversation you had at the bakery yesterday. “how’d you remember?”

“ugh, i’m hurt!” he exclaims, hand flying to his chest in mock surprise. “i can’t believe you already forgot that it’s my favorite color too.”

“hm, guess i was too distracted by how perfect you are,” you joke. seonghwa laughs at that, a sharp sound that seemed to catch him off guard. he covers his mouth to stifle the sound, but you’re close enough to the cash register now that it draws attention from san and mingi.

“find what you need?” san asks with a shit eating grin.

“hm, just about,” you say as you place the paint on the counter. “couldn’t find a hammer big enough to drop on your head, though.”

“wow, harsh,” san scoffs. “and to think i brought you here out of the goodness of my heart.”

you’re too busy half-bickering with san to notice that seonghwa has paid for your paint and the pens he promised hongjoong. he mumbles something to mingi, who then hands him a piece of paper. he scribbles his number down for you before handing you the can and his number.

“i gotta go, but i’ll see you later for study group, right?” he confirms. you’re still processing the fact that he keeps buying things for you and you can’t respond in time, so san steps in.

“yeah, y/n will be there,” san assures seonghwa. he nods and shoots you one last smile before he excuses himself and leaves. you’re stuck with san and that stupid grin again. he looks at you and then checks the paper with seonghwa’s number on it. “yep, i think you got what you needed.”

even though seonghwa very willingly gave you his number, you’re still afraid to text him. it’s kind of hard to believe that he’s into you the way you’re into him, so you’re fine with just seeing him for study dates. or, uh, not study dates. study gatherings. with just the two of you. because the other guys have bailed, again.

this time, though, you’re not working on music theory. you have an assignemnt due for your ethics class, and you need family and friends to read about your results from this morals test. you wanted san to do it, but he’s currently “chasing a sweet piece of ass,” whatever that means. he’s probably bothering his lab partner that he claims descended from greek gods. you would usually tease him for saying something like that, but it’s a thought you’ve had about seonghwa, so you kept your mouth shut.

anyway, you know you need someone to answer these questions for you, but you can’t bring yourself to ask seonghwa. he kept up his “perfect” demeanor again today, showing up at the bookstore before you so he could get you the coffee you like. you would ask why he keeps doing things like this for you, remembering your favorite color and your coffee order, but you’re afraid he’ll stop if you bring it up. little do you know, every time he learns something new about you, he writes it down in his notes app, keeping a running tab of the things you like.

“y/n?” you hear him ask. his voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you realize you’ve been staring at him this whole time. the smirk you’ve become so familiar with makes another appearance as he gets ready to tease you. “something on your mind?”

“no, i...no,” you stutter. “i’m just thinking.”

“about what?” he questions as he lifts his coffee cup to his lips. you watch the way he slightly pouts them before taking a sip and you have to stop yourself from staring again.

“just this ethics assignment i want to finish,” you explain. “sorry, i didn’t realize i was staring at you.”

“must be an important assignment,” he nods, leaning forward to put his cup back on the table in front of you. you get another glimpse at the star tattoo on his neck as he does. “because i was definitely staring at you too, and you didn’t even notice.”

“oh?”

“yep,” he confirms. “i was giving you my best puppy dog eyes and everything.”

“puppy dog eyes?” you ask, unsure of what’s coming. “do you need something?”

“eh, not really,” he shrugs. “i’m just worried.”

“why?”

“you never texted me the other night.”

“after the art store?” you ask incredulously.

“isn’t that when i gave you my number?” he smirks.

“i didn’t think you wanted me to text you immediately...”

“well, it’s been three days and i still don’t have your number,” he pouts.

“hold on a second,” you mumble, reaching for your bag. you fumble around in there, searching for the piece of paper with seonghwa’s number on it as he watches you fondly.

“what are you doing?”

“looking for your number,” you reply like it’s obvious. seonghwa laughs a little and places his hand on your arm to stop you.

“you do know i’m right next to you, and i could just put my number in myself?” he asks, eyes sparkling as he half-smiles at you. you blush, because no, you weren’t thinking about that. you sheepishly hand him your phone and watch as he adds his number and then texts himself. he gives your phone back and replaces it with his own before asking, “what’s your favorite emoji?”

“um, the smiling cowboy?” you offer, not sure why he’s asking. he laughs again, like he did in the art store, but this time it’s harder for him to quiet the breathy giggles coming from his chest.

“why that one?” he asks, typing something quickly.

“it’s funny,” you shrug. “why?”

“needed something cute to put next to your name, but you’re a weirdo, so it’s not as cute as i was imagining,” he explains, showing you the contact card in his phone. your number is saved as “y/n 🥰🤠” and you can’t help but laugh. you look up at seonghwa, warmth in your eyes, and he starts laughing too.

“see?” you giggle. “it is funny.”

“whatever, at least now i have your number.”

after exchanging numbers with seonghwa, you’re starting to let yourself believe little by little that he might feel the same way you do. it’s not anything serious, but there’s definitely something there. the texts he sends are always flirtatious, and it has your heart beating faster every time you get a notification, hoping that it’s him. you’re in the middle of studying for your spanish final when you feel your phone vibrate on the bed next to you, and you smile when you see who it’s from.

seonghwa 🥺💫, 6:28pm: are you busy rn?

you, 6:28pm: not really, just studying

seonghwa 🥺💫: can’t be studying too much if you replied that quickly 🥸

you: what do u want

seonghwa 🥺💫: be nice :-(

you: sorry

you: hi seonghwa, how are you? what do you want.

seonghwa 🥺💫: come get dinner with me?

you: right now?

seonghwa 🥺💫: no, in 30 years. yes right now

you: but i’m studying ://

seonghwa 🥺💫: liar!

you: fine, when and where?

seonghwa 🥺💫: i’ll pick you up in ten 🤠

“you sure like staying close to campus, huh?” you ask seonghwa as he walks you about a block from your usual hangout and to a little hole in the wall restaurant that looks like it could seat maybe 20 people, uncomfortably.

“i know what i like,” he responds with a shrug. “speaking of things i like, you look nice.”

“oh, thank you,” you semi-laugh. you’d been close to panic trying to figure out what to wear (because you’re not sure if this is a date) so you went with something simple, but you’re glad seonghwa likes it. not that you wanted to impress him. but you did, a little. anyway, he looks...well, perfect, wearing black ripped jeans and a velvet-y navy shirt. you continually have to stop yourself from reaching out and stroking his arm just to feel the soft fabric (and maybe his muscles).

“so i take it you’ve never been here before?” he asks as he hands you a menu. you shake your head no in response. you can’t tell if he’s doing it intentionally, but seonghwa leans closer into your side as he explains. “you pick a main entree, but each dish comes with these sides. they say no substitutes, but i know the guy behind the counter so you can ask for more of something else if you don’t like one of them.”

“i might do that,” you say. “i don’t really want dumplings, so could i get extra sweet potatoes?”

“of course,” he nods, noting the way you smile slightly. it makes your eyes light up, and his heart does a little backflip knowing that he’s the reason for it. well, the sweet potatoes probably are, but he’s the one getting the sweet potatoes, so he’s taking that win for himself. once you both confirm what you want, he places his hand on your back and guides you to the counter.

“hey seonghwa!” the tall guy with a lopsided smile behind the register greets. “long time no see. who’s your friend?”

“hey yunho,” seonghwa smiles back. “this is y/n, a vip, so make sure you give us the good stuff.”

“extra sweet potatoes?” yunho laughs. you and seonghwa both nod as yunho continues taking your order, and you find yourself comfortably leaning into seonghwa as you wait for yunho to calculate the price. before seonghwa can even think about taking his wallet out, you’re handing yunho cash for the food, which makes seonghwa sputter.

“what? y/n, i was going to pay,” he whines, and you simply shake your head.

“nope, my turn,” you tell him. “you’ve bought me coffee too many times.”

“but i asked you out! i don’t want you to pay on our first date if i’m the one who brought you here,” he continues to complain.

“so this is a date?” you confirm, right as yunho asks suggestively “oh, this is a date?”

“yunho, give y/n’s money back,” seonghwa says, ignoring the two of you. “i’m paying.”

“yunho, if you give me that money i’ll be forced to leave and stand seonghwa up for our date,” you say, emphasizing the last word. now you’re glad you wore clean pants.

“seonghwa, why don’t you let y/n pay for this, and then you can get the next one?” yunho suggests, sending you a wink before he turns to the kitchen to share your order with the chef. you’re left with a flustered seonghwa, which is a sight you’re not used to, and it makes you laugh.

“c’mon,” you say as you pull on his arm. “let’s go find a table.”

you’re the only ones in the restaurant, so the food comes out pretty quick, and you have to stifle a laugh when you see that someone has arranged the sweet potatoes on a separate plate in the shape of a heart. seonghwa blushes at this, and you’re taken aback by how shy he’s suddenly become.

for some reason, seonghwa showing signs of nervousness puts you at ease, and you lead the conversation to something stupid san told you about the boys and their shenanigans at their dorm. the story has seonghwa laughing, and he confirms that yes, yeosang does have a sword by the tv, and yes, hongjoong did threaten to use it on him after he lost an intense match of fifa.

“in hongjoong’s defense,” seonghwa begins, “i do think yeosang cheated. wooyoung was definitely helping him.”

“it still sounds ridiculous,” you tell him. “why does anybody need a sword?”

“yeosang is just...yeosang,” seonghwa replies. “he’s weird but he won’t admit that to anyone.”

“i’m just saying, if i went to someone’s house and there was a katana by the tv, i’d haul my ass outta there.” seonghwa giggles at how serious you look, but this conversation reminds him...

“you never showed me your room,” he says bluntly. you pause for a moment, spoon halfway to your mouth, and seonghwa realizes how that must sound. “i mean, the paint, your dresser. you never showed me a picture once you fixed it up.”

“oh,” you breathe out. “let me grab my phone, i can show you.”

“show him what?” a familiar voice suddenly asks from the seat next to you. when you notice that san, and some of your other friends, have snuck their way into the restaurant, you have to keep yourself from groaning.

“why are you here.”

“i’m hungry,” san replies, then turns to seonghwa. “you didn’t tell us you were getting dinner.”

“i didn’t want to,” seonghwa deadpans. “ i wanted it to be just me and y/n.”

“too late for that, pal,” honjoong says as he slides into the seat across from you. “hi y/n.”

“hey hongjoong,” you grumble. “please tell me you’re getting your food to go.”

“we were, but then we saw our good friends eating all by themselves and thought we should join them,” hongjoong teases. by now, the rest of the boys have sat down around you, some at other tables, and one of them you don’t recognize. that must be jongho, their younger “roommate” who technically lives in first year housing but doesn’t get along with the other guy in his room. you’ve heard seonghwa complain that jongho eats all of his snacks.

“well, i hope you enjoy your food, but seonghwa and i were just about to leave,” you lie, looking at seonghwa with a stare that pleads ‘please go along with this.’

“where are you going?” wooyoung asks, one table over.

“my apartment,” you respond quickly, standing up as seonghwa follows your cue with a stupidly adorable look on his face.

“oh, perfect!” san chirps. “we’ll come with you!”

so much for your date with seonghwa. it was hard to stop the boys from insisting they all join you at your apartment, especially after yunho said his shift was over and he could really use some destressing. and by destressing he meant booze, so you currently have 8 tipsy boys scattered across your living room. if you thought they were loud before...it’s amazing that your neighbors haven’t complained yet.

it started off innocent enough, you were just playing card games at first and the loser of each round had to drink. then it turned into never have i ever, and each time you put a finger down you had to drink. then yeosang suggested shots, and it really went downhill from there. san tried convincing everyone to play a round of spin the bottle just for the chance of making you and seonghwa kiss, but mingi and wooyoung were the only ones down, so majority ruled there.

“san, stop pouting,” you laugh, noticing that he’s upset over his evil plan not working out.

“it’s fine,” he lies, duck lips on full display.

“spin the bottle is such a tween-y game too,” jongho pipes in. “and we’re adults, so it would be kinda stupid to play it anyway.”

“says the baby of the group,” yeosang scoffs.

“what about truth or dare?” hongjoong suggests. “still immature, but we can make it fun.”

“yes!” san shouts, suddenly back in a positive mood.

“i’ll start,” mingi volunteers. he takes a deep breath as he looks around the room, eyes narrowing when he looks at you and seonghwa. you’re currently smushed into your armchair together, not really by choice, because the couch is completely full and neither of you wanted to sit on the floor (you know how dirty it is, and seonghwa has a bad hip). thankfully, mingi has mercy on you and directs his gaze to his best friend. “yunho, truth or dare?”

“truth,” yunho slurs out. you’d say he’s the opposite of stressed by now.

“did you sleep with that girl you met at the party last week?”

“no,” yunho replies quickly, cheeks turning a knowing shade of red. “i just walked her home.”

“and went missing until the next morning?” yeosang asks. he gets a few snickers, and you laugh a little too because you remember san and wooyoung talking about their friend who disappeared for a few hours last weekend.

“whatever,” yunho groans. “yeosang. truth or dare.”

“dare,” yeosang chooses confidently.

“kiss wooyoung on the cheek.”

“no,” he replies, just as confidently.

“then take another shot,” yunho concedes, waving his hand at the stubborn boy. wooyoung mumbles something about how kissable he is as yeosang downs what looks like more than just a regular shot.

“this is boring,” jongho whines, which makes him the next target. he chooses dare, and you have to detach yourself from seonghwa so you can go into your kitchen and find the lemon juice in your fridge so jongho can chug what’s left. he’s sputtering after a few sips and gives up, grumbling up to you, “ i hate you for that.”

“hey, it wasn’t my dare,” you defend yourself. “you owe me lemon juice.”

“i’ll give it to you if you choose dare,” jongho challenges. you roll your eyes and take the bait, earning a round of ooo’s from the boys around you.

“make her kiss seonghwa,” someone hisses.

“or me!” wooyoung chirps. jongho looks over at him with a death glare, and wooyoung shrugs. “i just want someone to want to kiss me.”

“i think you’re cut off,” hongjoong says as he leans across your coffee table to move the bottle away from wooyoung.

“everyone be quiet!” san shouts. “jongho has to give y/n a dare.”

“hmmm,” jongho starts, tapping his finger on his chin. “what should i do?”

“for someone who said this was boring, you’re really milking this,” seonghwa says under his breath. you’re perched on the arm of the chair, close enough to hear him, but thankfully no one else does.

“what’s that other childish game called?” jongho wonders aloud. “seven minutes in heaven? i think you should do that with seonghwa.”

“do i have to?” you pout, and your reluctance makes seonghwa stiffen. he thinks you said that because you’re uncomfortable, and not because you don’t want the boys pressing their ear up to the door while the two of you make out.

“rules are rules,” hongjoong concludes, nodding his head toward your room. “go have fun. i’ll keep the kids from bothering you.”

you look to seonghwa, who isn’t looking directly at you. you tentatively take his hand, giving it a squeeze before you stand up and lead him to your room. there are so many catcalls, whistles and cheers coming from your friends that you barely hear san say “take your time! it doesn’t have to be just seven minutes!”

once you get to your room, you let seonghwa go in first and then you lock the door behind you. he quirks an eyebrow at that, and you shrug shyly.

“don’t want one of them bursting in,” you explain. seonghwa nods, and you both fall silent. it’s not necessarily awkward, just tense. you both want to do what seven minutes in heaven is meant for, but you’re not gonna make the first move and seonghwa still isn’t sure you even want to be in this situation. so he takes this time to turn around and take your room in, pointing to your dresser.

“is this it?” he asks. you hum out a yes in response, and he runs his hand over the freshly painted wood. “it looks nice. whoever picked out the color sure knows what he’s doing.”

“eh, he’s just lucky,” you joke, and you both laugh. you move to stand next to him and place your hand on top of his. “sorry we couldn’t finish our date.”

“sorry my friends are so annoying,” seonghwa adds.

“sorry san pushed me into your lap earlier,” you continue, and seonghwa smirks.

“well, i didn’t mind that,” he says. “i wanted you to sit with me, but i didn’t want to draw attention.”

“oh,” you squeak, feeling a blush on its way to your cheeks. a heavy silence falls over you, and seonghwa is the first to break it.

“listen, if you don’t want to kiss me, that’s cool,” he begins. “i kinda got the vibe earlier that you didn’t want to do this, and that’s cool. if you don’t want to do this we’re still cool.”

“you don’t sound very cool about it,” you chuckle, and seonghwa’s face flushes. “but i was only nervous because i didn’t know if you wanted to kiss me.”

“oh i want to kiss you,” he says firmly. “have for a while.”

“why don’t you do it then?” you challenge. seonghwa takes a step closer to you, and before you know it he’s pinned you against your dresser. you balance your hands on it and the cool wood helps you ground yourself as your body heats up from having seonghwa so close.

“are you sure?” he asks, only a few inches from your face. you nod and whisper out “i’m sure” and seonghwa quickly cups your face and smothers you in a kiss. it starts off slow, and your face warms at his touch. once you relax into it you move your lips against his, nipping at his bottom lip slightly and earning a groan from the man before you. you take the chance to slip your tongue past his lips as you bring your hands up to the nape of his neck, slowly brushing through his soft hair. his hands find their way to your waist, gripping tightly but not too hard, and he leans in to get as close to you as possible. you keep kissing for a few moments, but eventually you need to breathe so you lightly tap on his neck. he pulls back, breathing heavy, and his smile shines like the most beautiful stars in the sky. “so?”

“so?” you repeat, equally out of breath.

“that was nice.”

“it was.”

“the boys are gonna know we made out.”

“of course they are,” you laugh. “your lips look swollen.”

“so do yours,” he counters.

“but wasn’t that the whole point of us coming in here?” you ask. your hands have fallen to his chest, and you finally get a chance to smooth out the soft velvet of his shirt. and you notice his chest is very, uh, firm, too.

“we didn’t have to kiss,” he says with a shrug. “we could’ve just talked.”

“about what?” you ask with a smile.

“my keen eye for interior design,” he replies. “how sexy you look in low lighting.”

“so you think i’m sexy?” you tease, and seonghwa rolls his eyes.

“i just had my tongue in your mouth, does that answer your question?”

another silence comes over you both, but this one is lighter than before. you’re subconsciously rubbing your hands over his shirt, and seonghwa brings a hand up to cover yours, stopping it right over his heart.

“we don’t have to tell them,” you offer. “i mean, they kept it a secret from us that they were trying to get us together this whole time.”

“oh no, i was fully aware of that,” seonghwa tells you, and you scoff. “do you think i really wanted to get out past midnight just to buy hongjoong some expensive markers? he never even paid me for them.”

“well now i really don’t want to tell them we kissed,” you whine. “how could everyone be in on this except me?”

“it was more fun that way,” seonghwa teases before pecking your lips. “but we can keep this between us, for now.”

“i think we should,” you say with a nod of finality. “it’s more fun that way.”

“c’mon, let’s go back out there before they send a search party.”

you return to the living room before seonghwa (so he can sneak into the bathroom and fix his hair) and you find most of the boys asleep on the floor. you sigh as your eyes meet hongjoong’s, and he shrugs.

“at least they didn’t bother you,” he says.

“can you help me find pillows and blankets for them, please?” you ask, and he nods before jumping into action. he throws one of the couch pillows down to yeosang, who takes it and hugs it to his chest. you have a couple extras in your hall closet and you pass them to yunho, who’s sitting up when you come back. he places one under mingi and another under jongho and keeps the last one for himself. san and wooyoung are on the couch, and hongjoong tells you he’s fine with the armchair. seonghwa is out of the bathroom by now, and, like the perfect man he is, he’s carrying blankets in his arms. the three of you work on getting all the boys covered before you realize that seonghwa doesn’t have a place to sleep.

“i can take another spot on the floor,” he assures you. “do you have another pillow i can use?”

“let him sleep in your room, y/n,” san mumbles from underneath wooyoung. you pause and look at seonghwa, who’s looking back at you with something you can’t read in his eyes.

“it’s not a bad idea,” hongjoong pipes in from somewhere within the blanket cocoon he made for himself. “he was just there. you can put him on the floor.”

“y/n?” seonghwa asks, pulling your attention back to him. “i don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable.”

you would try to fight it, so you could hopefully ignore taunts from the boys in the morning, but you’re suddenly really tired and you just want to lay down.

“i’m ok with it if you are,” you yawn. “take the rest of those blankets, we can use those for your bed.”

“make good choices,” honjoong mumbles as seonghwa leads you back to your room, and you hear san going “oooooo” as you close your door a second time tonight. this time you don’t lock it though, and when you turn around you see the blankets on the floor and seonghwa sprawled out on your usual side of the bed, so you tell him.

“well why don’t you come join me then?” he teases with a grin. you blush and shake your head.

“scoot over.”

he does, but only by an inch. he still looks at you with that flirty glint in his eyes, and you can only shake your head again as you crawl into the tiny space next to him. he immediately wraps an arm around your waist and gives you a tight hug, placing a kiss on your shoulder.

“thank you,” he whispers into your back.

“for what?” you reply.

“for not putting me on the floor. and for liking me.”

you just woke up from maybe the best night of sleep you’ve ever had. seonghwa’s arms and legs are draped over yours, so you can’t get up without waking him, but having him so close is a welcome source of warmth. your apartment is quiet, and the sun is peacefully filtering into your room through your curtain. it’s the perfect moment, with your perfect boy, until-

“i think they’re still asleep,” you hear someone whisper from the hallway.

“wooyoung, leave them alone!” another voice hisses. there’s silence for a moment, and then a smack, followed by someone jiggling the doorknob to your room. you quickly untangle yourself from seonghwa before you watch as the door cracks open a bit, revealing wooyoung in all his bed-headed glory. you close your eyes as much as you can while still peeking at who’s sneaking into your room, and you see jongho close behind him. he must’ve been the one who got smacked. or did the smacking. either way, they’re both staring at you and seonghwa in your bed, but you notice wooyoung smile and pause.

“i knew it! they definitely got together last night.”

“how do you know?” jongho asks. “maybe y/n let seonghwa sleep on the bed because of his old man hips.”

“whatever. they’re in the same bed, so that’s at least something,” wooyoung replies. “lame, but still something.”

“what did you expect?” jongho asks incredulously. “you thought we would catch them doing it?”

“i mean, not exactly, but couldn’t i get a little cuddling maybe?”

“you want me to cuddle you hyung?” jongho deadpans.

“yes, actually-”

“hey!” a third voice whisper shouts. you hear footsteps and then you see hongjoong pulling wooyoung out of your room by the neck of his shirt. “leave them alone. and you, jongho, i’m surprised you’re playing along with this.”

“well...” jongho mumbles.

“well what?” hongjoong asks, sounding like the mom-est mom to ever mom.

“they’re the only ones that know how to make breakfast.”

“both of you, out! now!” hongjoong semi-shouts, and you feel seonghwa stirring behind you. hongjoong doesn’t realize you’re both awake and closes the door as he leaves.

“what time is it?” seonghwa grumbles out, and your heart skips a beat hearing how deep his voice is when he wakes up.

“early,” you reply, turning around to be face to face with him. his arms slowly snake around you as you look up at him and share a sleepy smile. “how can you look this good when you first wake up?”

“weird, i wanted to ask you the same thing,” seonghwa replies, leaning in to kiss you but you touch your fingers to his lips and stop him, so he pouts.

“uh uh, not until i brush my teeth,” you say as you try to get up, but seonghwa’s grip on your waist keeps you down.

“please,” he pouts again, sparkly eyes on full display as he pleads with you. it takes about half a second for you to cave and kiss him quickly, catching him off guard. he shifts to pull you on top of him and deepen the kiss, but he loses his grip on you and you’re able to slip out of bed before he can stop you. a noise comes from deep in his chest that almost sounds like a growl, and you shoot him a glare.

“hey, you got your kiss,” you warn. “now i’m going to make breakfast for the gremlins. do you want to help me?”

after the intrusion into your bedroom, wooyoung obviously told the boys what he saw. but, like jongho said, most of them thought it was just because of seonghwa’s hips that made you share a bed with him. there wasn’t enough evidence otherwise, and none of them really expected either of you to make a move despite their efforts. but they’re starting to get suspicious.

little do they know, after the set up fell into place, seonghwa wanted to take you on a real date. the only way to do that without your friends knowing was to sneak around without them, which was kind of fun. it was nice having this bubble with seonghwa, just the two of you, but it was getting harder to avoid your friends. seonghwa lived with them after all, so they pestered him about how often he was out and who he might be out with.

“san keeps asking if you’re a good kisser. i told him i didn’t know, and then he asked if he could find out for me. should i be concerned about that?”

“we need to be more careful, yeosang said he saw us at the taco place yesterday, and he said we hold hands weird.”

“hongjoong has been saving seats for us at the bookstore, and each time we don’t show up i think he steals something from me.”

you have been ditching study group lately, but that’s more because you need to do some deep studying for your other finals and your friends are too much of a distraction. seonghwa can be distracting too, but at least he can take a hint and back down when you really need to focus. it’s been nice actually, just spending time in his presence. you were so nervous around him just a few weeks ago, and now you feel like you could trust him with just about anything.

today, you don’t get any personal study time, though. your music theory final is coming up and seonghwa wants you to get all the terms memorized before the review session in class tomorrow. he’s motivating you with a kiss for each right answer and the promise of him making dinner once you’re done. you’re currently cruising on five wrong in a row, and you’re getting frustrated.

“c’mon y/n, you know this,” seonghwa encourages you, but you just whine in response. “we did this like four minutes ago, and i told you the answer so you could remember it.”

“yeah, well i obviously didn’t,” you snap, and seonghwa fakes being hurt. “sorry. can we skip this and come back to it?”

“sure,” he agrees quickly. “but first you need to write down the circle of fifths for me.”

“i hate you.”

“hm, wrong answer,” he hums. “but kiss anyway. maybe that’ll keep you from getting so grumpy.”

“i am not grumpy,” you defend after kissing him gently. “i’m stressed.”

“you know what you need?”

“hm?”

“you need to go on another date,” he begins. “with me, obviously.”

“damn, i wanted to know if yunho was free,” you tease, and seonghwa doesn’t think it’s funny. “now who’s grumpy?”

“ignoring that,” he scoffs, but you can tell he’s trying not to smile.

“when would we go? i’m really busy the next few days.”

“what about after class? we could both clean up and do something nice before we get some dinner?” seonghwa suggests. “why don’t we go to that art exhibit you told me about?”

“ugh,” you groan as you learn your head on his shoulder. “that sounds amazing, but we both said we’d be at study group tomorrow, remember? hongjoong practically begged me to be there, and i said i would ask you to come.”

“what about not letting them know we’re a thing?” he pouts. you don’t tell him about the youngest two that saw you all cuddled up, but instead you assure him that you inviting him to study group wouldn’t look unusual to the boys.

“plus, if we both cancel last minute, they’d know for sure we were up to something together,” you continue. “so yes, we need to go on another date, but just not tomorrow.”

“fine,” he mumbles. “now i am grumpy.”

“would something from the cafe make it better, my little boba ball?” you ask in a baby voice.

“ooh, actually, boba sounds good,” seonghwa smiles. “let’s go.”

the next day you get to the bookstore late because your professor gave a pop quiz at the end of class and you’ve been so busy studying music theory you forgot to study for anything else, so you needed all the time you could get. when you finally arrive, all of the boys are there, surprisingly. since you’ve never seen yunho, mingi and jongho here before you’re a little confused, but happy to see them nonetheless.

as you walk up to the usual spot, you notice a coffee cup sitting in front of an empty chair, and you point to it as the boys greet you.

“is this for me?” you ask, placing your bag on the ground before grabbing the warm mug. “thank you, coffee angel.”

“you’re welcome, actual angel,” seonghwa replies, and you almost choke on your first sip. what is he doing?? you’re supposed to be sneaky sneaks and keep your relationship quiet, but here he is flirting with you in front of everyone!

except, that’s what he did before you started dating too, so it’s not out of the ordinary. in fact, no one pays any mind to it, so you’re left with a burnt tongue and blushy cheeks while seonghwa looks at you with a stare that only you would understand. you quickly shoot him a wink before you put your mug down and reach for your notes.

“um, hello? what are you guys doing?” you ask yeosang next to you, who’s rabidly tapping at his phone, just like everyone else. if they weren’t distracted they might have picked up on the vibes between you and seonghwa, but thankfully they’re the oblivious ones now.

“playing a game,” half of them respond, just as hongjoong says “writing lyrics” and jongho mumbles “texting my mom.”

“aren’t we supposed to study?” you ask. “or did you already learn everything in the world while i was gone?”

“well you’ve missed a lot of study sessions, y/n,” san begins. “so yes, we have learned everything. now we just come here to hang out.”

“so then why did you insist on me being here, joong?” you ask newly orange-haired hongjoong. it’s been a while since you’ve seen him, he must’ve dyed it recently.

“we missed hanging out with you,” he says simply, eyes peeking up from his phone. your heart constricts at this, and you catch seonghwa’s eyes again. you might have to rethink the whole sneaking around thing if they really do miss you.

“yeah, we missed you AND we had to make sure you and seonghwa are still spending time together,” wooyoung adds, wiggling his eyebrows.

“where have you been anyway?” yeosang asks. “you don’t have other friends.”

“yes i do,” you scoff.”

“give me names and numbers.”

“ignore him,” yunho tells you, and you nod.

“i always do. but i’ve been really stressed about finals, so i had to do some soul searching on my own to decide if i need to graduate or not.”

“seems fair,” mingi agrees. “i almost had to drop a class.”

“because he forgot he was even enrolled in it,” jongho clarifies, and you laugh.

“but seonghwa has been missing a lot lately too,” san starts. “i wonder what he’s been doing.”

“or who,” wooyoung snickers, and hongjoong reaches over mingi to slap him.

“i haven’t been feeling well,” seonghwa says with a shrug. “i’ve mostly been in my room, or at the pharmacy to get medicine.”

“oh, so you could’ve bought new paper towels for the dorm then, huh?” hongjoong asks, and as the two of them start to bicker, yeosang nudges your arm.

“i saw you two,” he says quietly. “at the mexican restaurant.”

“i know,” you whisper back.

“so i know you’re dating.”

“are you gonna say anything?”

“hmmm, no,” he thinks. “but you have to buy my silence.”

“with coffee?” you offer, and yeosang smiles. he stands up and puts his phone away before speaking, looking directly at seonghwa.

“my best friend y/n is gonna buy me coffee, we’ll be back,” he says as he loops his arm around your shoulders. seonghwa watches as you walk away (and stares at your ass) but he’s mostly thinking about how he’s a little jealous right now. like, he knows you wouldn’t do anything, he trusts you, but he doesn’t want his friends thinking you have a thing for anyone but him. so while you’re gone, he talks.

“i haven’t been sick,” he admits. “i’ve been seeing y/n.”

“we all knew, dude,” hongjoong says casually, and everyone agrees.

“then why didn’t you say anything?!”

“because YOU weren’t saying anything,” jongho replies.

“yeah, we figured that we did enough trying to get the two of you together, so if you didn’t end up dating then that was your fault. we were just waiting on you to make a move,” san explains.

“then why did you let us lie to you like that?”

“it was fun,” wooyoung shrugs. “by the way, did y/n let you sleep in the bed because of your hips, or because you wanted to cuddle?”

the red tint on seonghwa’s cheeks gives him away, and the boys start laughing and ooo’ing so loud he’s afraid you’ll hear it over by the coffee counter.

“ok, ok, just. keep this quiet for now,” he says. “y/n may still want this to be private.”

“but you just told us about it,” yunho says. “why would you do that if you knew y/n wouldn’t want you to?”

“well,” seonghwa begins. “i need your help with a date.”

seemingly by an act of god, you have time this weekend to go on a date with seonghwa. little did you know, he’s the reason your plans suddenly freed up. san said you could critique him and wooyoung for their dance final another day, hongjoong said he would send you his music theory notes from the review and save you hours of studying and then yeosang found the exact spanish book you needed to finish your performance final ahead of time. it was the perfect circumstances, orchestrated by your perfect boy and his perfect-adjacent friends, who all agreed to help him with this (hopefully) perfect date.

it starts with seonghwa picking you up from your apartment, coffee in hand.

“you’re the man of my dreams, you know that?” you say in passing as you grab the warm to-go cup. even if you were only saying it lightly, it made seonghwa’s heart soar. you notice he hasn’t said anything to you, so you meet his eyes to find them full of stars like always, but this time there’s something scheme-y in there. he’s up to something.

“are you ready for the best date of your life?” he asks with a smile that puts the stars in his eyes to shame.

“yes, i think,” you respond, grabbing your keys and locking your door. “but i don’t know what we’re doing.”

“and it will stay that way until we get there,” seonghwa says firmly as he laces his hand into yours. you squeeze his hand and sigh.

“i guess i just have to trust you then.”

“but that won’t be hard right?”

“wait, didn’t you say something earlier about going to that art exhibit? is that it?” you question, even though you know he won’t budge. seonghwa just shakes his head no and punches the button for the elevator. a moment of silence passes before you guess again. “a movie? you rented out a movie theater, like you said you wanted to?”

“i tried, but it was expensive,” he admits and you have to laugh. “funds are tight right now.”

“i watched you buy a couple hundred dollars worth of legos the other day babe. maybe that’s why the date fund is lacking.”

“you’re not coming between me and my collectables, y/n,” seonghwa scolds. the elevator pings to open to the parking garage under your building, and you’re confused for a moment before he explains. “i want this to be a nice date, so yunho let me borrow his car. it would be no fun if we show up all sweaty because we were walking.”

yunho’s car, which is actually pretty nice thanks to all the tips he gets from flirting with clientele, is parked by the elevator. seonghwa leads you to your door and opens it for you, revealing a basket of flowers and candies in the seat. you coo as you pick it up, and seonghwa looks on proudly. you lean over to give him a kiss, and you whisper your thanks as you pull away.

“that was mingi’s idea,” seonghwa tells you, smiling brightly “i got all your favorites.”

“i see that.”

“but look around the flowers,” he guides you. “there’s something else.”

you hold the basket up to eye level, noticing the silver sparkle around the stems of the flowers. is it glitter? you tug at a flower and realize it’s a chain, and attached is a hand drawn star charm to match the tattoo on the back of seonghwa’s neck.

“seonghwa, this is beautiful,” you say breathlessly. “we’re gonna match! that’s so cute. who’s idea was this?”

“would you believe me if i said it was mine?”

“no.”

“that’s what jongho said too,” seonghwa laughs. “it was his idea.”

“tell him thank you,” you say as you play with the charm. “mingi and yunho too. it’s a good date so far.”

“oh baby, it hasn’t officially started yet.”

in the car, seonghwa plays a mix of songs that he really likes, and he’s mixed in some of your favorites too. he has to keep convincing you that the songs aren’t clues, because you ask every time a new song plays.

“so are the songs just distractions?” you ask, finally giving up on getting any information out of him.

“why do you ask that?” he smirks as he turns down a familiar road.

“because i can tell you just took the long way to the record store,” you explain. “are you stalling?”

“me, what? why?” his response does nothing to manage your suspicions, and suddenly you remember how your friends have helped with the date so far. are they all in on this? you need answers.

“seonghwa, i swear to god, if san or wooyoung jumps out to surprise me wherever we’re going-”

“that won’t happen,” seonghwa laughs while he parks the car. “we’re here anyway, and i promise this is the last surprise of the night.”

“the record store?” you question, looking up at the shop you’ve been to countless times to shop and to bother hongjoong while he works.

“yeah, you said there was a new album out you wanted to get, right?”

“yeah,” you blush. “but i just said that in passing, i didn’t expect you to remember.”

“y/n, i want to know everything about you,” seonghwa says seriously. “so of course i remembered. wait, don’t get out yet. i’ll open the door for you.”

as seonghwa helps you out of the car, you quiz him on the other things you’ve said around him that you didn’t think he remembered. sadly, he does remember you saying your favorite disney movie is ratatouille and you’ve always wanted to try the mushroom/cheese concoction remy makes in the first scene.

“that’s a little embarrassing,” you sigh as you reach for the door. you’re going to complain some more about how seonghwa doesn’t need to remember everything about you, but the sight in front of you makes you stop mid-breath.

the record store has been decorated from floor to ceiling in fairy lights, and there’s more flowers all over the place. as you look around, you notice the flowers are tucked in the shelves next to your favorite artists. next to the door is the album you were talking about, and a little further down you see your favorite album of all time with a few extra flowers next to it. you’re still taking everything in when you notice hongjoong behind the counter.

“did you help him with this?” you ask breathlessly, and hongjoong nods.

“yeah, but the flowers next to the albums was my idea,” hongjoong explains. “we’re running a new special called “y’n’s favorites” so everything that’s marked with a flower is yours, if you want it. everything is on the house.”

“i...i don’t know what to say,” you start. you turn to seonghwa and there are those starry eyes that you love to see. you reach out to cup his face and smile. “thank you. this is...perfect.”

“it’s even more perfect now that i’m here!” wooyoung shouts from the front door of the shop, followed by san and yeosang. you look at seonghwa and all he does is laugh.

“what? at least he didn’t jump out and scare you,” seonghwa teases.

“oh, i would never,” wooyoung nods with a half-serious look on his face. “but i definitely wouldn’t do that when i have your dinner in my hands, i can’t let all this hard work spill.”

“especially not on my clean floor,” hongjoong warns.

“you made dinner for us?” you ask wooyoung, but you’re looking at seonghwa, who simply shrugs.

“yep, i made one of your favorites and then threw in a couple recipes i thought you’d both like,” wooyoung says as he and the two other boys place food down on the counter by the register.

“and what did you two help with?” you ask san and yeosang.

“who do you think made this place so beautiful?” yeosang asks incredulously.

“yeosang did the lights and i bought all the flowers,” san explains with a smile that makes his eyes turn into happy half moons. “you’d be surprised how many places i had to go to get all your favorites.”

“i really don’t know what to say,” you whisper in disbelief. “i can’t believe you all did this for me.”

“it was all seonghwa’s idea,” san tells you. “we did it for both of you.”

“yeah, we’re just his little minions,” yeosang jokes, and wooyoung giggles.

“you tell me how that food tastes, got it?” he asks as he backs out of the store. “don’t say anything mean though. i only accept compliments.”

“wooyoung,” seonghwa smiles tightly. “please leave.”

wooyoung holds the door open for san and yeosang as he gives seonghwa a thumbs up. san waves goodbye sweetly and yeosang gives you a knowing smile before the door closes behind them.

“well, i think that’s my cue to go,” hongjoong says, handing the keys to seonghwa. “don’t make a mess. if i get fired, i’m selling all the stuff i stole from you when you were sneaking around with y/n and not telling us about it.”

“i’ll keep him under control,” you assure hongjoong, who nods as heads to the door. you don’t see him leave because seonghwa has stepped in front of you, and he places his hands on your waist to pull you closer.

“so,” he begins.

“so.”

“what do you want to listen to while we eat?” he asks, pulling you by the waist over to a row of records. you stand there quietly, looking over the albums hongjoong pulled to the front for you, and you just can’t believe how much work went into this date. you can’t believe how sweet it is that each of your friends helped, and you put your hand on seonghwa’s and give it a squeeze.

“hwa,” you whisper. he hums in response, but you place your hand on his cheek and guide his gaze to yours.

“thank you,” you tell him. “thank you for this.”

he smiles at you with a look in his eyes that can’t be anything else but love, and you smile back with that much love, if not more, in your own face. you use the hand on seonghwa’s chin to guide his lips to yours, and you lose yourself in the kiss, in seonghwa, for who knows how long.

“mm, y/n,” he mumbles against your lips before detaching. “the food will get cold.”

“you’re right,” you sigh. “but we didn’t pick any music.”

“how about this?” he asks, pulling an album out from the top shelf. you smile at the cover, knowing exactly what song seonghwa wants you to hear.

“perfect,” you agree. “i’ll put it on while you get the food?”

and that’s how you end up eating the perfect meal, on your perfect date, with all of your favorite things around you, sitting right next to your perfect boy.

#seonghwa #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa imagine #seonghwa one shot #ateez one shot #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #seonghwa imagines #ateez fluff #park seonghwa #park seonghwa fluff #park seonghwa imagine #park seonghwa imagines #park seonghwa one shot

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howisavedtheworld · 3 years

Text

there is no feeling better than this | tsukishima kei

genre: VERY FLUFFY, like hk tooth-rotting fluff, tsukishima kei x fem!reader, established relationship

warnings: curse words scattered in there somewhere, kei being a total simp for you and helping you bleach (dye??) your hair, other than that i cant think of much! just a really cute late nite moment

a/n: i havent posted in a while so hi its me again heres some fluff <3 fun fact: when i first watched haikyuu in like 2016, tsukki was my favorite character. also pls send requests im running out of scenarios to write abt with my pea brain

wc: 844

“fuck it, i’m dyeing it.” you announce to kei while soft sounds of morning birds travel through the living room window.

it was an impulse decision: granted, you were running on nothing but adrenaline, having spent the entire night surveying diy hair dye videos with your boyfriend by your side.

he stares at you, eyes skeptical before shaking his head.

“you know, you’ve said that a hundred times.”

“well, this time, i’m serious! and i’ll do it by myself!” you exclaim, walking over the bathroom where the various bottles of store-bought hair dye, bleach and developer are scattered. “in a little bit, you might not even recognize me. mark my words.”

he snorts from the living room couch. “well, if it looks ugly, i’m leaving you.”

you roll your eyes, sliding on a pair of latex gloves to mix the ammonia-scented chemicals together to lather on your head.

you’ll prove him wrong.

at least you thought you would.

20 minutes later, you sprint into the living room, eyes welling with tears of frustration. “kei, i need your help. i can’t see if i’m getting the bleach in the right spots in the back and it’s stressing me out. can you do it, please?”

“oh?” he blinks and pushes his frames up to the bridge of his nose, eyes narrowing.

“what happened to ‘i can do it by myself’?” he mocks you, although getting up to follow you back to the bathroom.

truth be told, tsukishima hates seeing you upset, especially if he can easily salvage the situation. whether it was helping you find the word that was on the tip of your tongue, or zipping up a dress that’d been frustrating you to no end, even if you ask him to fill in the unbleached spots in the back of your head after you previously claimed you could do it without him, he always obliges.

he may never admit it, but he loves the way you praise him afterwards, your lips curving upwards and uttering admiration, your eyes softening while you throw your arms around him in gratitude. he loves every second of it, and does everything he can to see you do it over and over again.

“well, i could do it by myself,” you jokingly lied. “but since you’re here and everything, you might as well give it a shot.”

he huffs, slipping on a pair of latex gloves and dipping the brush into the bowl of bleach.

“whatever.”

you bend your head to offer him better access, and he got a glimpse of you in the mirror.

you’re tapping your foot anxiously with your lip caught in your teeth, and his chest warms at the sight of you, all the nervous habits of yours that he’s familiar with, and all the trust you put in him to make things right again.

“this stuff smells like shit, y’know?” his nose scrunches before he applies the brush on a section.

“ugh, i know, right?” you laugh knowingly, your body slightly shaking under him. “but i’m gonna wash my hair after this.”

he lets out a hum, having always been obsessed with the scent of your shampoo, shoving his face into your hair whenever you hug him or lay on his chest.

“does it hurt?” he pauses, looking down at you. like he expected, your eyes are warm and the biggest smile appears on your face.

“no, no, i’m okay!” you quickly reassure him, pressing a soft hand on his thigh.

these are the moments tsukishima can never forget: the version of yourself only he gets to see. how your eyes crinkle at the sides and you couldn’t even wipe the grin off your face if you wanted to. to know that he is the only one who can make you feel that way makes him love you all the more.

“done.” tsukishima quickly pulls the latex gloves off his fingers, disposing them in the garbage. his eyes follow you as you carefully wrap a plastic shower cap on your head to seal the bleach.

“alright, 30 minutes and i’ll put the color in.” you turn to face him, a loving smile on your face.

he raises an eyebrow. “what?”

“hmmm…nothing. just thinking about how i have the best boyfriend in the world.”

his cheeks turn a unmistakable shade of pink before he covers them with his lanky fingers, pushing up his frames again.

“oh, shutup.”

you grin, tugging on the fabric of his shirt to pull him towards you.

he almost gives in before he remembers and steps back. “you’re gonna get your bleach on my shirt.”

“shit, i forgot.” you nod before slightly pouting. “..so i can’t touch you for 30 minutes?”

he furrows his brows before slouching to meet your eyes. your eyes widen and he chuckles at the way you bashfully respond to him even after months of dating.

“nah. i think i can fix that.” he says before pressing his lips on yours softly, feeling you smile against him.

he’s sure that there is no feeling better than this.

#tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #kei x reader #tsukishima fluff #haikyuu!! x reader #tsukishima kei fluff

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mikwrites-archive · 4 years

Text

sweet dreams (are made of this)

✞ prompt: “You know that part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid and everyone hates them for it? This is it.”

✞ pairing: yoon jeonghan x reader ✞ warnings: blood mention, the word bastard ✞ genre: fluff, a little crack, modern vampire au ✞ wc: 2.7k

✞ a/n: i was supposed to finish this yesterday so it would fit for jeonghan’s birthday too but it’s still his bday for me so its okay shhhh (even tho i rushed it oops) but it still fits under the cwc october event which i was very excited abt so i hope u enjoy!!

There’s an incredible amount of ups and downs to being roommates with Yoon Jeonghan.

The main downside was that he seemed to gain the reputation of the college campus crush. And even worse, you couldn’t find any reason to disregard the attraction towards him, with his good looks, intelligence and wit, musical ability, and athleticism.

Yet the upside is the very same reason, leaving your dorm empty for your own leisure often due to his popularity.

Perhaps that was for your own good, or his, that you didn’t find out his secret until later.

As you step inside one evening, one typically reserved for movie nights and indulging in junk food, you’re taken aback at the figure sitting on Jeonghan’s mattress. You recognize him as Kwon Soonyoung, the leader of the dance team, and he greets you cheerfully. You’re too flustered to notice the way he seems out of it, and he giggles, flopping down.

“Any spare blood?”

“Excuse me?” You blink, pausing in uneasiness as if you’d misheard. He opens his mouth to respond, sitting up and swaying slightly as if he were drunk, but before he can voice the clattering thoughts, the bathroom door slams open.

“Sorry, we were playing basketball and he got hit on the head really hard, just ignore him.” Jeonghan butts in quickly, hiding something behind his back while taking his friend by the arm, who sends you a toothy smile and a wave.

“Sorry if he said anything weird.” Jeonghan offers as he re-enters the room, and you assure him otherwise automatically, inquiring if Soonyoung was alright.

You’ve always been on amicable terms, always been something easily compelling about Jeonghan, teetering on the border of acquaintances and friendship, and you think it’s this moment that tips it towards the latter.

“Any plans for tonight?” He pipes up curiously, and you tell him hesitantly, his eyes lighting up. “That sounds fun.”

“Did you want to join?”

“If it’s not too much trouble?” He looks hopeful, neither of you even remembering the last time you both spent a night in the dorm in each other’s presence, and you rummage through your shiny bag of sweets to avoid awkward contact.

Yet you’ve always been told it’s only an awkward situation if you make it one.

“I’ve got enough snacks to share.”

Throughout the film, you don’t notice the way he barely touches them.

He tells you on a whim one morning, and he has to admit that the fact you hadn’t suspected anything pertaining to his condition surprised him. You’d grown closer in the passing months, and with many close calls, Jeonghan decided to bite the bullet.

“I’m a vampire.”

“Ha, ha, funny joke.” You don’t look up from pouring coffee into your chipped mug, and Jeonghan blinks.

“I’m not joking.”

“Yeah, and I’m a werewolf.” You deadpan.

“I’d hope not. Though I’m sure I would’ve been able to tell.”

Finally looking up at him, you study his expression, and it’s the epitome of solemness and sincerity, causing you to truly consider his words.

“So… those juice packets… that time with Soonyoung…” your mind races to draw the connections, and Jeonghan shrugs.

“Blood, and that idiot overworked himself that day and our dorm was the closest.”

“This better not be another prank.” You warn, and Jeonghan smiles.

“I’d never dream of it.”

You come to the conclusion that there’s no evidence to point otherwise to Jeonghan’s confession, and your mind is turned into a tangled mess of frayed threads.

“You know that part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid and everyone hates them for it? This is it.”

You’re spinning on your desk chair, the circles making your head swim, but maybe that was just your mind attempting to comprehend the weight of his statement.

“Okay, rude.”

You lift your head to see if he’s really offended by your deprecating comment, but he’s absorbed with his phone, slumped down in his bed, smirking at whatever was being displayed. He glances up, catching your gaze with a quirked eyebrow.

“What?”

“You’re a vampire. And my roommate.”

And someone you have feelings for, your subconscious whispers devilishly and you swat it away like a buzzing gnat.

“So?”

“I dunno.” You sigh, unable to stitch together your words comprehensible to yourself and him, afraid of piecing together a monstrous Frankenstein to loom over you both. Instead you let your head fall to your desk with a full thunk.

He seems to suspect your hidden truth, and sets his phone aside, sighing.

“Didn’t you know you aren’t supposed to invite vampires in? That’s on you, really.”

You don’t reply, so he shuffles over, tapping the top of your head. When you don’t respond, he tugs at your hair lightly, still garnering no reaction. So he places his hands on each side of your head, lifting so you’d finally face him.

“If you want me to go, I’ll go. Mingyu has a ton of spare bedrooms at his place I can crash at.”

But you don’t want him to leave, pulling yourself from his touch, and with a dismissive air, as if you didn’t care whether he left or not, you tell him it doesn’t matter, whichever was easier.

“But if you stay, can I ask questions?” You add on, and he laughs.

“Tomorrow. It’s movie night tonight and it’s my turn to choose.”

“So do you sparkle in the sunlight?”

“Please don’t tell me all your questions are from Twilight.” He groans.

You’re lying on your stomach on your bed, Jeonghan sitting cross legged, facing each other.

“It’s a valid question!”

“No, I don’t. I can also eat food, including garlic, though not too much, I can see myself in mirrors, and can go in the sun but get burnt real easily.” He assumes a bored demeanour as he rattles off what you assume to be frequently asked questions. “Process of evolving I guess you can call it.”

You purse your lips, pondering what else to ask. “When were you turned into one?”

“Nineteenth century or so? I travelled the world a lot though, I forget.” He muses, and it’s just a number to you, not settling in his many years of life.

“Who else besides Soonyoung?”

Jeonghan rattles off the names of his friends, some that were completely understandable and others that stunned your thoughts.

“Is it… hard to live for as long as you have?”

He seems startled at your question, and ponders it, turning it over in his mind like the clothes tossed in a washing machine’s rounds.

“Sometimes.” He admits. It’s difficult to amount the trials and effort of living for decades into words, sometimes feeling as if you were stranded in the sea, bobbing with your head barely above the water, gasping for breath. Others, like you were floating in a serene pool, the sun warming your bones. You move on.

“Can I... y’know... see your...” you stretch your lips back slightly to show your teeth tentatively, pointing. Jeonghan obliges, baring his teeth, fangs snapping out briefly and he grins at your fascinated expression.

“Are you gonna ask me how it feels to be bitten by them?” He wiggles his eyebrows, and you snort.

“I’m not looking for a death wish.”

“I know you’re curious! Everyone always is.”

Nothing externally changed, settling back into your daily routine (with the exception of Jeonghan spending more nights at the dorm); yet there’s still some inward aspects you both had to deal with.

You detect something’s awry with his mood the minute you walk in, Jeonghan not even sparing you a small nod in greeting or acknowledgment. No matter how tired or upset he may be at times, it never affected his fond disposition towards you. Setting down your belongings on your mattress, you pipe up nervously.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine.” He responds in a clipped tone, pausing before elaborating slightly. “Just hungry. Forgot to restock yesterday. Texted ‘Cheol. Said he’ll come as soon as he can.”

You’ve come to know that expressed hunger for Jeonghan didn’t apply to the human need, but rather the vampire need, and you fidget with your fingers.

“Will you be fine until then?”

He nods curtly, and you know it’s not personal, but the manner it’s delivered stings.

“If you want, you could… I could help.” You finish lamely, nervously.

He snarls, lip curling, and it rises the gooseflesh on your skin, your hands tightening over your phone as your heartbeat pounds out of your chest.

“I said— just drop it, okay?”

You stand there for a few moments, feeling rooted to the floor as he turns away sullenly, and you force yourself to trudge away quietly. When Seungcheol arrives, he pulls you outside after delivering the packets.

“Is he okay?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. He’s just a little grumpy, the equivalence to being hangry.” Seungcheol smiles apologetically. “I hope he didn’t scare you or anything. Jeonghan’s actually pretty tame when he’s hungry, but I know you saw Soonyoung once and they’re quite different.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.” Seungcheol looks at you curiously.

“Does.... blood taste different depending on the person?”

“Yes and no. For instance, we can tell if someone’s smoked or drank alcohol, but in terms of different people having different tastes, it’s just a matter of blood type. Why?”

“Well, I offered to... y’know...” you tilt your neck, gesturing lightly, and he nods understandingly, a smile and twinkle in his eyes. “But he got really snappish with me, so I guess I thought maybe my blood was weird or something.”

“Did he really?” Seungcheol is unable to hold back his smile this time, and you furrow your eyebrows, so he explains further. “A lot of media nowadays take the vampire biting to a whole sexual level, and to a certain extent it can be true, depending on when you were turned, but for others, it’s common for feeding to be completely off limits to those we're interested in. As a matter of respect, you could say.”

“Are you saying that...”

“I’m not saying anything.” Seungcheol holds up his hands in an air of innocence. “But try asking him.”

You mull over the words as Seungcheol departs, and re-enter the room to meet gazes with Jeonghan, crimson liquid drifting up the straw from the plastic packet.

“I’m sorry I was rude. I know you were just trying to help.” He swallows, licking his lips, and you catch a flash of sharp ivory.

“It’s okay. Seungcheol actually told me something kinda interesting.”

“Like what?” He straightens, setting the blood aside carefully, and you make your decision.

“Nothing.”

Jeonghan narrows his eyes, but doesn’t push, and you’re torn between feeling relieved and disappointed.

It’s not brought up again, verbally between anyone or within your thoughts, until Halloween rolls around. It’s almost ironic, you think, the most haunting night of the year opening the chapter that haunted you the past year.

“Are you coming to Mingyu’s party?”

“Wasn’t invited.” You shrug, and Jeonghan laughs.

“Like that stops most people. But if you really care, he said I could bring a plus one and I choose you.” He points at you playfully, as if choosing a Pokemon. “It's a masquerade. He’s always had a liking for those things, he used to throw them all the time back in the days.”

You don’t know how long ago he’s referring to, but you still attempt to picture Jeonghan and Mingyu elaborately dressed and adorned with delicate masks.

“So what do you say?” He leans forwards, as if your answer was an intimate secret, and you tell it to him, never having much luck in refusing Jeonghan.

He tells you he’ll meet you there, yet it’s an hour into the celebrations, and you’ve nursed a few drinks, danced with some strangers, and haven’t seen any sign of him. It’s apparently not uncharacteristic of your roommate, as you converse with the host, Kim Mingyu, so you don’t worry too much.

You’ve forgotten to track the passing hours by the time he arrives, lost in the lull of the rise and fall of voices and faces unknown.

“There you are.”

You almost don’t recognize him, gold spun locks turned to raven black, in addition to the mask resting upon his features.

“I couldn’t find you, so I had a few drinks with the guys.”

“You changed your hair.” It’s a childlike, wondrous instinct, the way your hand comes to curve into his hair, and he lets you.

There’s something addictive in the way you touch him, uncaring to the swaying bodies on the dance floor, the pulse of the music thrumming through your veins.

“Let’s talk somewhere else.” He pulls you away, searching for a relatively quiet place, but the bathroom is taken up by a poor soul retching into the toilet, the bedrooms locked (Mingyu having enough sense with that at least, Jeonghan thinks), so he finds a closet instead.

“Why are we here?”

He doesn’t respond at first, the closet shades slanting horizontal lights, framing his face dangerously, like the edge of a knife.

“I see the way you look at me. Like you love me. I’ve been around enough to see it.” Jeonghan doesn’t let you speak, yet you’re not sure what you’d say if he allowed you to. “You said the stupid part everyone would hate you for in a horror movie was letting me stay. I think so too. But I think my own part is falling in love with you back.”

“Are you drunk?”

“No. Vampires can't get drunk.” Jeonghan huffs, and you cross your arms disbelievingly. “Why is it that whenever I tell you something serious, you brush me off?”

“Because you don’t have to be so dramatic and make it sound like sarcasm!”

“Well, I’m not trying to!” He glares exasperatedly. You both stand in silence, until you pout.

“You didn’t have to say that liking me was stupid.”

“It is stupid.” Jeonghan snorts. “I’m a vampire. You’re a human.”

“So?”

Jeonghan pauses, sighing.

“I didn’t say I don’t like stupid things. I did confess to you after all.”

“Hey!”

He grins, stepping closer to grab your hands, slender fingers wrapping around your wrists before sliding down, perfectly fitting into your own. You tug him closer, and he propels himself snugly against you, chest to chest, breath fanning upon the shell of your ear.

“Can I kiss you?”

You don’t answer, nodding breathlessly, and he leans forwards, smiling against your lips.

Jeonghan takes out a box of mementos for you to rummage through a week later, spreading out the photographs, journal entries, and other knick knacks across your mattress you both sat cross legged upon.

He mainly does it for your amusement and interest, answering the spare question or comment you’d make offhandedly, browsing through his phone, but when you burst into giggles at a seemingly whim, he straightens up.

“What’s so funny?” Jeonghan peers over your shoulder, and you hold up the photograph gently towards him.

It’s not exactly comedic material, but something about the photo tickles your throat with laughter; Jeonghan dressed pristinely, a solemn, almost bored, expression upon his fine features, styled hair without one strand out of place.

“What’s wrong with that picture?” He jutted his bottom lip out accusingly.

“Nothing.” You assure with a gleam of a smile, and he rests his head on your shoulder after some inward deliberation at the truthfulness of your answer. “I was just thinking about how lucky I am I guess.”

He doesn’t move from his position, but you can tell he’s listening intently so you continue with a breathless laugh.

“You’ve lived for so long, and I get to be a part of it. Maybe I’m taking a page out of your dramatics, but I dunno. It’s nice to find something unexpectedly that I didn’t know I was looking for in you, even if it was kind of weird. I guess Seungcheol was right.”

“That was really sweet, and I thought we were going somewhere, until you said the last part.” Jeonghan furrows his eyebrows, looking at you confusedly, and you chuckle, telling him about the time Seungcheol dropped off blood for him last minute.

“Bastard.” Jeonghan mutters, and with your fit of laughter, it’s passed over, Jeonghan’s unsaid words lingering on his tongue.

He sets them free when you fall asleep on his lap, midway through parsing the box’s contents, and he cleans it up with his best to not disrupt your sleep, talking in a soft voice.

“Everybody’s looking for something. I’m glad we found that something in each other, in this lifetime. ” He presses a kiss to your forehead, and you stir lightly, smiling gently.

“Me too.”

✞ taglist: @seijoh @soranihimawari @peachy-yabbay

#caratwritersclub #jeonghan x reader #jeonghan imagines #yoon jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan imagines #svt x reader #svt x you #seventeen imagines #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios

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cattles-bians · 3 years

Text

exes au part 14

post directory

obsetress:

obsetress: viola

em: holy shit

em: i think viola could hold a truly ridiculous number of things in her hands

em: danis like i have a little fanny pack right here- and violas like (turns up nose) absolutely not

obsetress: pre therapy viola during her relationship w dani: buys dani a birkin too, is like "here baby, so you don't have to use that fanny pack"

obsetress: dani's like "oh. i, um. like my fanny pack"

obsetress: viola therapy era after her relationship with dani: buys her a hermes fanny pack instead

obsetress: jamie rolls her eyes but dani is literally

em: i think a lot abt viola offering solutions completely unprompted n then being really offended when ppl dont take her up on it

em: pre therapy obvs

obsetress: SAME

obsetress: oh link is gross

obsetress: cost is grosser

obsetress: but viola lloyd dropping $2550 on a fanny pack for her ex gf? chefs kiss

---

obsetress: ok just remembered viola slouching or leaning or w/e n like

obsetress: brain practically applying that to exes au and imagining when and where she'd slouch n everyone's reactions to htat

obsetress: bc like she has perfect posture but when she chooses to do it it's a power move

obsetress: and i. hm

em: yeah

obsetress: viola sitting up stock straight when they first get to brunch and as soon as she's ordered her bloody mary shes pulling off her sunglasses and dropping them on the table and just sinking back

em: how to phrase this w/o sounding too much like a whore

em: actually no way to say this but like i feel v strongly abt the way we make women take up less space wrt to knees together calves touching type deal and i think maybe

em: maybe viola can manspread a bit as a treat

em: hate that term but i cant think of a better one

obsetress: nah she does n it's hot

obsetress: just had this image pre divorce of viola and arthur at marriage counseling on opp ends of the couch n arthur's sitting v tight close and vi is just

obsetress: leaning and spreading a lil

obsetress: the first time jamie sees her do it she's so taken aback

obsetress: because she's NOT expecting it

em: jamies like ah ok late in life lesbian deal and then jokes on her viola is fluent in dyke slouch

obsetress: jamie immediately trying to suss out just how long viola has been fucking women

obsetress: she says to dani later "i thought she was all proper like" and dani's like "she is" and jamie's like "so wot was that then" and dani's like "well, people are gay, jamie,"

em: ghfjhgljkJFDASJKKJFGA

em: jamies like so wait how long HAS viola been

obsetress: jamie: so you were vi's first serious girlfriend right? dani: dani: jamie: right???????

em: violas been fucking women longer than jamie has lbr

em: i mean shes clearly only 35, jamie,

obsetress: jamie: so... vi... viola: hm? jamie: you're, uh, gay, right? viola: obviously jamie: right. well dani told me you've been dating women since–– viola: since i was 15, yes jamie: but you married a man

em: violas like u went to jail everyone does stupid shit occasionally

em: jamie: so how long have you been dating women viola: since i was 15 jamie: no i meant like. in years viola raises her eyebrows and jamies just like haha nevermind fuck

obsetress: she tried!

obsetress: she tried

em: jamie on her 35th birthday pencilling 'many happy returns' into violas ????th 35th birthday card

em: yknow i think

em: i think something's afoot

obsetress: jamie, giving up on the direct approach

obsetress: slipping in next to rebecca at the wine bar

obsetress: "becca"

obsetress: "hi, jamie" "hi. how old is your girlfriend"

em: am fucking losing it thinking abt jamie like. realising how much gay energy viola has

em: like taken ABACK

obsetress: fksljfLKSDJFLJ

obsetress: just like

obsetress: why are jamies reactions to viola so funny

obsetress: montage of jamie realizing how much gay energy viola has

obsetress: jamie watching viola sitting

obsetress: jamie watching viola pick up a variety of glasses and mugs

obsetress: jamie watching viola compare hand sizes with dani, jamie's girlfriend and viola's ex girlfriend who she dated for literal years and whose hand size she definitely already knows

em: NOT THE HAND SZIES

em: they go for a walk and viola immediately complains about the sun and jamie's like

em: i have a spare hat but ur not gonna like it

em: its a snapback that says daddy or smthn in gold, owen got it for jamie for her bday, jamie Loathes it

obsetress: BYE

obsetress: viola looks better in it than jamie does

em: jamie has that

em: am i attracted to viola? moment

em: it passses

em: she has already compartmentalised the weird psychosexual power play

em: queen of compartmentalising

obsetress: jamie: had another one of those moments today dani: what moments? jamie: where i thought i might be attracted to vi dani: well, you did let her fuck you... what was it, four? times in one night, so

em: jamie; yeah but like that aside

em: jamie 'thats neither here nor there' taylor

obsetress: she is the queen of compartmentalizing tho

em: i was gonna be like. 'jamies like wait i dont remember saying four' but. i think she would tell dani

em: because the flip of that is dani callin up vi n i dont think she would necessarily

obsetress: i think she would and dani would make her anyway

obsetress: well make her is harsh but

obsetress: dani would very curiously ask in very convincing ways

em: lovingly coax it out of her

em: dani: what if i fucked you four times in o

obsetress: dani: let me do five

em: viola probably wears so many rings jamie doesn’t even clock the ever present thumb ring

obsetress: jamie just. writes it all off

em: am laughing abt like. viola v meticulously taking off every single ring and putting it in its proper location before...

obsetress: there is something. so hot about that

obsetress: im gonna scream i think

em: i was just meming and now im thinking abt it and

em: truly played myself

em: actually this is me refusing to unpack whatever the hell theo crain gloves made me feel

obsetress: sdkfmsldjfa

obsetress: fair

em: sublimate it into rings

obsetress: i just like um

obsetress: thinkin about when she and dani are together and like

obsetress: it's intentional and everything has its place but vi also makes a show out of it

obsetress: and like

obsetress: she's SO painstaking about it and definitely makes dani wait a little bit and

em: helps dani outta her big ass earrings

em: i mean dani doesnt even Need the help

em: viola meticulous lloyd

em: i mean she just wears so much goddamn jewellry

obsetress: she can tell when dani's getting impatient and goes even slower

em: viola has like

em: viola is one of thos ppl thats really into expensive watches

obsetress: !!!!!!

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: nice lil canon nod too

em: she drags dani to antique auctions n danis like i cant. actually tell the difference between the real and the forgery and violas like (passionately explains it for like 30 minutes) and dani is

em: like shes mentally checked out but also v intensely watching violas hands as she points to the parts of the watch

em: rebecca gets it tho

em: rebecca Gets It

obsetress: dani shoving vi into the bathroom at the auction house and tugging vi's hand between her legs v rebecca grabbing her own auction paddle and bidding against viola for the same watch

obsetress: (rebecca n vi fuck in the car on the ride home)

em: dani grabs a paddle n mimes spanking viola n then the auctioneer is like '$250 to 201' and danis like aw Fcuk

em: violas like i cant take u Anywhere

obsetress: dani gives her the 🥺😌and viola's immediately over it and pulling out $250

obsetress: dani: i didn't even want it, i was just–– vi: i know dani: what am i even gonna do with a–– vi: i'll sell it for $500 at a private auction next week dani: so technically i'm making you money dani, grinning: it's like i'm your employee dani: do you have any more assignments for me, boss? vi: dani get your hand out of my pocket i need to focu––

#dj khaled voice another one #the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au

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transxfiles · 4 years

Text

y’all i cannot express in words how excited i am for the new lumberjanes show to come out.

i know a lot of folks on tumblr are hearing abt lumberjanes for the first time through the news tv show, but it’s based on a bunch of comics by lgbt creators, and those comics have helped me work through so much difficult stuff, and i don’t think it’d be a stretch to say that lumberjanes (and the current fandom around it) has actually saved my life.

lumberjanes is a comic about a bunch of girls who go to a summer camp and solve mysteries and fight monsters and just hang out together and are best friends, and i love it so much. right off the bat, two girls are lesbians in a loving, healthy, caring relationship. the camp director is a butch lesbian. another girl is trans and her arc has nothing to do with being trans - she’s just one of the girls, and she’s trans too, and it’s part of her identity but she never experiences suffering around it. later on she helps a young nonbinary character realize that they’re nonbinary, and then the nonbinary character gets to join the girls at camp, and they’re so much happier there. there’s an entire section of panels about pronouns, but it’s juts a casual discussion, where one girl says, “what’re pronouns” and another says, “oh, they’re just words we use to describe ourselves, like ‘he/him’ and ‘they/them’ and ‘she/her’” and then the nonbinary character says “i'd like to use they/them pronouns please” and everyone accepts them. there are so many characters of color. there are so many diverse family groups (something we see in an arc where all of the parents get to visit their kids at camp for a day) including a girl who only has a mom, and a girl who has two dads, and a girl who has a mom and a dad and whose abuela lives with her family, and big families and small families and lots of siblings and only children.

and lumberjanes is so sweet. it’s complex and well-written and absolutely hilarious, but it’s also so sweet and kind and soft and reading it feels like being hugged and handed a plate of homemade cookies. it’s about friendship and the complexities that entails. the entire motto fo the camp the girls go to is ‘friendship to the max’ and the story reflects that. and the girls get to be loud and goofy and wacky and wild, which is something we don’t see a lot in media. and they get to be soft and scared and sad, too, and then they get to grow from these experiences, and they get to learn and explore and be free. and that’s something i'd never really seen before, not represented in such an honest way. reading lumberjanes set me free. i found these comics in early middle school, when i was going through a really hard time both socially and with my own personal identity. i live in the bible belt, and i go to a school that isn’t accepting of lgbt kids at all. i'd recently been outed to my grade as lesbian by one of the girls in half of my classes, and in the meantime i was also dealing with my own personal gender struggles, specifically waves and waves of dysphoria that i was having a hard time understanding and defining, because i knew i didn’t want to be a girl or a boy, but i had no idea what that meant, and i had no idea that there was a third option, or a fourth option, or a fifth option, or thousands of options, because i didn’t really get the fluidity of gender, yet, and i didn’t understand that i could apply it to myself. but then i saw the characters in lumberjanes, i saw girls who loved girls and were proud of it, so incredibly proud of it, i saw kids who were realizing they didn’t identify with the gender binary and that they didn’t have to, and i do truly think that saved me. because there was a time when i was considering just ending it because i didn’t understand. and then i read lumberjanes, and it saved me.

and those are just the comics - the current fandom surrounding them has been so loving and caring and supportive of me ever since i joined it. we’re small - there’s only maybe forty of us, and the number of us who are actually content creators is so much smaller. when i first joined the fandom, we only had maybe twenty fics on ao3. now we have 93. i’m proud to say i’ve written fifteen of those, and i'm so, so happy to have found and talked with the people who’ve written the other 78. last year, when i started engaging with other lumberjanes fans online through tumblr, discord, and even the ao3 comments section, i was going through a really difficult time at school. it was my first year in high school and it was like the homophobia and transphobia were amped up to 200%, and people who i thought loved me left me, and so many of my closest friends had to leave the school to save themselves, and i felt so incredibly alone. so i said “fuck it” and i made a discord account and i started talking to some people i’d spent years admiring from afar. i spent hours goofing around with them, discussing fan theories and fanfiction and working through my personal life with them by my side. now, i consider them my friends. and i’ve picked myself back up again. i've figured myself out, for the most part, and i've got new friends and i’m staying in touch with old ones, and school is still awful now and again, but i have people who have my back. they saved me, and i don’t know if they know it, but they did. this fandom saved me. i love them so much.

now, the lumberjanes show is coming out, and i'm so incredibly excited. the comics are niche. they don’t reach as many people. i know so many kids who are intimidated by comics, but don’t really know where to start, or who want to read them, but are scared their parents could find them. i understand that struggle. hiding a book is hard. you have to look for a space that you know no one can get to, under a bed or in a closet or in plain sight, with the cover of another book slipped over it. and so often, the risk isn’t worth it.

but hiding a bootlegged file of a tv show? that can be so much easier.

i'm so excited to hear that noelle stevenson and possibly even other lumberjanes creators are going to be working on this show. i think that it will change lives, like the comics changed my lives. lumberjanes is a story about girls loving adventure, loving mysteries, loving each other. it’s beautiful and positive and uplifting, and in my case, lifesaving. i urge you all to please check out the comics. you won’t regret it. and please, support the show.

i, for one, cannot wait to see it.

EDIT: you can 100% reblog this if you want to, whether you’ve read the comics or not!

#my post #long post #lumberjanes #lumberjanes fandom #lumberjanes tv show

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4haechie · 4 years

Text

son of apollo!donghyuck

pairing: son of apollo!donghyuck x child of athena!reader genre: fluff, comedy, some adventure/action, pjo au, e2l au words: 3,173 warning: couple of curse words here n there a/n: i reference a bunch of pjo characters in this so if u haven’t read pjo *crowd booing*

so donghyuck’s the son of apollo right

there’s like no arguing when it comes to that

he’s extremely talented at singing and making music, dancing, rapping, songwriting, so he’s no doubt apollo’s offspring

and he’s naturally gifted at archery as well

you can’t spell haechan without ACE teehee

u on the other hand

you’re athena’s child

you love to read and write you’re incredibly smart ofc

you love competing and winning and taking part in strategy making to bring your opponents DOWN 💅🏼

athena’s the goddess of wisdom as well as warcraft so needless to say you’re exceptional in both fields

you’re not just textbook smart, no no, you’re able to apply all the knowledge you learn…well…irl

not to mention you’re good with all kinds of weapons

ur fave weapons include swords and spears :D

you’re okay w knives too!!! and daggers!!! you’re not picky

but you’re better w longer blades just cuz u have more experience w them

fun fact: you’re the head of the athena cabin and donghyuck’s the head of the apollo cabin

you’re both great leaders, always doing your best to make the best strategies to win capture the flag, the chariot races, and other fun activities chiron plans for the campers 😁

but . you guys are Sworn Enemies

actually the better term to use would be “rivals”

you guys r So competitive to the point where you actually developed a rivalry during your first few years at camp half-blood

donghyuck LOVES to win but so do you… so obv he’s gonna go out of his way to make sure he/his cabin wins

that doesn’t mean you’ve ever backed down from his challenges…

if he’s competitive you’re twice as competitive

one day after breakfast during your fifth year at camp when you’re both about 18, chiron decides to host a good old game of capture the flag

u know . for old times’ sake 😼

once he makes the announcement you immediately turn to your cabin mates

“we have to win no matter what”

“y/n, it’s just capture the flag. we’re not fighting gaea”

“bitch are u in or not”

the entire dining hall is buzzing with excitement

nothing makes a demigod’s day like a capture the flag announcement 😌

chiron suddenly grabs the megaphone again and calls out “this time however there’s a little twist,” he chuckles as everybody goes silent

you raise an eyebrow

“you’ll be in teams of course. everybody has to play. there’s twenty cabins, so there will be ten teams of two cabins each. i’ll pair you guys up myself. each pair gets a flag–so there’s ten flags in total. the game will be won by the pair who manages to collect all flags and brings them back to their base before anyone has the chance to steal their own flag.”

the demigods burst into intense chatter and discussion once more

you turn your head back to your siblings and tilt your head in slight confusion

you’ve never played capture the flag in teams before

“anyone but apollo. i’m literally begging. sam, pray to athena right now”

“y/n RELAX”

“i think if we’re partners with apollo’s cabin i’ll actually jump into tartarus”

“…”

“what? percy and annabeth survived” 🙄

chiron pulls out a scroll and calls out the pairings one by one

poseidon and demeter, hades and ares (good luck to them), so on and so forth

your heart keeps racing . athena’s name has not been called out yet

and just like that your worst fear comes true

“athena cabin with apollo cabin. the game will commence in thirty minutes, which is how much time you have to prepare. good luck and stay safe!”

you drop your head into your palm (aka head in hands meme jpg)

“this is the worst day of my entire life”

“y/n, you’re hands down the most dramatic person i’ve ever met”

maybe it’s just you–bc your siblings seem fine with the apollo kids

they have so many apollo cabin friends :(

curse u and donghyuck’s little rivalry that the entire camp and chiron knows about

so him putting yall together definitely was not a coincidence cough cough

can u blame him

🌤🌈 he just wants all of u to get along 🌈🌤

he’s seen w his own two centaur eyes what happens when demigods fight between themselves

it’s not healthy

he needs u guys to get along bc u and donghyuck are some of the best demigods at camp rn

ur quick wits and amazing sword skills

his position as the camp’s best archer

imagine how powerful yall would be if u two worked together

if only you got along from the start.. but nooooo

ur egos r just too high F

but anyway, back to the present

you’re sitting there, head in your hands, dreading this already when some of the apollo kids swagger over to your guys’ table

donghyuck is in front of them as he scoffs after seeing your dreadful state

“why the sad face, y/n?”

you lift your head up to see him hovering over your seat and roll your eyes

you get up and your siblings follow

you’re just gonna have to make do. you don’t have time to complain

the thing is

you’ve only lost capture the flag once 👎🏼

a few summers ago the apollo cabin defeated the entire camp leaving everybody speechless

it’s true they didn’t defeat JUST you but somehow you thought it was personal

you had the PERFECT record 😕

zero losses . only wins

but bc of the apollo kids your cabin’s record was tarnished

which is sorta why you started hating them (esp donghyuck their leader) so much

donghyuck caught on immediately and made it a point to compete just as hard as u

so yea. that’s how you became rivals

he knows how much ur gonna hate working with him but u don’t really have a choice now do u :/

so he knows exactly why u have a sad face

but this is donghyuck we’re talking about

just bc yall r “rivals” doesn’t mean he’s not gonna tease u 😂😂😂

(or maybe he teases u bc he thinks ur cute and he hopes one day u realise him teasing is actually donghyuck for flirting 🤭)

“you know damn well why, lee donghyuck”

“oh c’mon i think it’ll be fun! if we combine our skills, we definitely have a hundred percent chance of winning”

you cross your arms and glance at your siblings who just shrug in agreement

you sigh loudly

“don’t even think about fucking this is up, donghyuck. and just so we’re clear, i’m in charge”

he laughs, “yup! got it”

so you start talking strategy

you only have 30 minutes so you need to make the best of it

you divide the two cabins into pairs so that an athena and an apollo kid will be paired together and in charge of smth diff

you have plenty of people on your team – 5 in athena’s cabin and 5 in apollo’s cabin

some will handle weapons and safety gear, some will handle mapping out the playing area which was basically the entirety of the woods, some will be setting up traps near your team’s flag to prevent others from coming close

30 minutes quickly pass and after dividing the work and planning your strategy with donghyuck and friends you turn your attention back to chiron who has his megaphone in hand

everyone’s told to gather outside the dining hall at the open field before the game commences

you, donghyuck, and your teammates briefly talk strategy once more . just to make sure everybody knows what they’re supposed to do

“let the game begin!” chiron blows a loud whistle and the demigods scramble out of the field, going to their designated flag locations

your spot is near a little creek, but the forest around your flag is quite dense so u figure it’s relatively hard to locate

it’s not that late so the afternoon sun makes your skin glisten with sweat

“damn, can you tell your dad to chill tf out for a while,” you tell donghyuck jokingly

he just rolls his eyes but on the inside he’s kinda glad you’re being casual with him rather than 😡😡😡😡😡 like u normally are

u don’t know what it is about him today but u swear he’s acting different around u

he wasn’t… as annoying while discussing strategy ????

he actually ?????? listened ?????? to what u had to say 🤔🤔🤔🤔

he didn’t argue, he didn’t even throw around witty burns like he usually does w/o hesitation

u were like… is he ok

little do u know!!! he actually l*kes u 🤭🤭🤭

well… it’s not a 100% fact that HE himself knows as well

but his siblings caught on to his weird behaviour n figured smth was up

mark being one of hyuck’s closest friends n siblings in the apollo cabin, realised he was acting weird ever since yall got grouped together

he seemed nervous ⁉️ which he never ever is

he’s like the most confident person mark’s ever known

so mark was like *thinks*

after putting two and two together mark came to the conclusion that he might have a small crush on u

bc hyuck kept glancing over at u, kept talking abt how ur a good leader (he’s never gonna tell YOU that tho. he crossed his heart on that one)

mark was like i didn’t even ask but ok

mark was confused at first tho cuz everybody and their mom knows about your guys’ rivalry so why tf would hyuck have a crush on someone he considers his rival

mark decides not to get ahead of himself bc hey!!! maybe he doesn’t have a crush, maybe he just thinks ur a good leader

like that’s it u know?

LMAO 🤫

so anywayz where was i

ah right

the flag

OK SO ur team’s flag is yellow ! :D

it’s like the colour of sunflowers

you and donghyuck r in charge of guarding the flag while ur team members scout around for the other flags

easy peasy

you and donghyuck are at your base now, weapons drawn just in case

the flag is hung on a poll couple feet taller than you

you’re dressed in ur usual training clothes – a pair of washed out shorts, a very old orange camp half-blood shirt; your sword’s sheath hanging from one of the belt loops of your shorts

donghyuck’s dressed similarly – a pair of blue ripped jeans, the same orange camp shirt tucked into them, but he has a purple flannel on, which he takes off and ties around his waist

“it’s so freaking hot,” he says, mentally agreeing with the comment u made about apollo earlier

“tell me about it”

there’s a silence that follows, the only sound heard is the subtle flow of the creek water

you’re thankful for the silence

it’s easier to keep an ear open for opponents on their way to steal your flag

just as you think about it, an ares and a hades kid approach your base

they’re on the other side of the creek, less than ten to fifteen feet away

“hi y/n,” the hades kid you’re kind of close to says

you shoot him a fake smile before holding your sword in front of you

donghyuck pulls out an arrow from his quiver and nocks it in his bow, aiming for the two demigods in front of you

the creek isn’t that deep, so the two demigods cross it with ease

they have their weapons drawn; they’re now a couple of feet away from you and more importantly the flag

no words are said as donghyuck lets his arrow fly and knock the hades’ kid sword out of his hands

he didn’t use an arrow with a sharp tip, you note

the hades’ kid stumbles backwards, imbalanced after he gets unarmed

you stand your ground as the ares’ kid scrambles forward, attacking you with her sword

your blades clash defiantly

you continue to spar with all your might

from the corner of your eye you see that the hades’ kid, sword back in hand, is battling donghyuck on your left

the flag is right behind you and donghyuck; you can’t let the two demigods get near it

you and the ares kid are still battling each other, putting all your strength into making sure she surrenders

but u should know better

ares and athena kids have many similarities like their love for winning, their confidence in battle, etc.

it’s like looking in a mirror

you don’t have anything against this particular ares kid, though

“c’mon, y/n, give up already”

that REALLY makes your blood boil

you never give up, no matter what

with one final blow of your sword, you knock her sword out of her hands, making her think she distracted you with her words

she goes flying back, half her body landing in the creek water

her sword lies in between you and her, but you doubt she’ll have the courage to fight again

the hades kid sees this and quickly scrambles away from hyuck, picking up the ares kid’s sword and giving her a hand up

“this is why i hate you and your siblings–your huge ego always gets in the way,” you hear the hades kid grumble to his partner as they run away from you, shame written all over their defeat

hyuck laughs and wipes sweat from his forehead

you can’t help but laugh either

you love it here at 🧡 camp half-blood 🧡

a few moments pass as your teammates emerge from the dense woods, each pair with a different colour flag held between them

you smile in victory

you quickly bring down your flag from its pole and give it to hyuck

“me? it was your plan…”

“yeah, but i couldn’t have done it without you, hyuck”

he almost passes out at your choice of nickname

back at the main hall, chiron announces your team as the winner, and that the prize yall being excused from doing chores all week long!!!!

it’s not much, but hey, at least you and hyuck ended up working together and winning the game, right?

later, hyuck pulls you aside from your cabin mates, and walks you to the lakeside

you two sit at the deck, side by side, watching the water doing nothing in particular

you watch as hyuck swings his feet lightly, his toes barely touching the water

“y/n, do you hate me?” donghyuck asks out of the blue

you’re like 😳 what

now that he asks you that . like straight up . it makes u think

do u REALLY hate him

or do u just hate losing to him

“why would i hate you?” you question back

“i don’t know? i guess because of our, um, rivalry thing i thought you can’t stand me”

you play with the beads of your camp necklace

“i don’t hate you, donghyuck. i just hate losing. i guess it’s the athena in me,” you laugh at how lame you sound

“i hate losing too, but i don’t hate you, in case you’re wondering.”

he takes a deep breath

“i know we started going against one another ‘cause of that one time my cabin won capture the flag, but i don’t want things to stay this way,” he pushes his hair back

“i guess what i’m saying is… i like working with you.” he pauses

“yeah,” he says, as if more convinced now, “and i would really like to get to know you better,” he clears his throat, very clearly embarrassed

you laugh at his flustered state

“stop laughing at me,” he stretches the last syllable as he lightly shoves you with his shoulder

you’re trying even harder to not laugh now, but for his sake, you hold it in

“that’s probably the cutest thing you’ve ever said”

he crosses his arms, “i’m always cute”

you’re like. THE NERVE?????? 😒😒😒

“how ‘bout we go slow? i mean, we just became un-enemies, we’re gonna need to be friends first, right?” you poke his shoulder

“you make a good point”

“i’m literally athena’s child, but okay”

“shut up!”

✨ time skip ✨

both u and hyuck stay at camp over the holidays which means more bonding time!!! yay!!!!!

a year has passed and u and hyuck r basically bffs, attached at the hip, and everybody except mark is surprised as fuck

rmb the days when hyuck thought u were “cute”?

welp 🤭 he’s at that point where everything u do makes his heart flutter

yeah… he likes u Like A Lot

u have no clue abt his feelings for u and he has no clue abt ur feelings for him either

exactly a year after the iconic capture the flag game, ur both seated at the deck by the lakeside, side by side, again

“y/n…there’s something you need to know”

“if you’re gonna tell me about the mixtape you’re dropping with mark, i literally don’t want to hear it”

“THAT WAS ONE TIME”

“YOU GOT THE ENTIRE CAMP’S HOPES UP FOR NO REASON”

both of you burst into fits of laughter

after calming down, he shoves your shoulder lightly with his shoulder, like he always does (only to u tho)

“no, seriously, i need to tell you something”

“what’s up?”

“i,” he pauses, clears his throat, “like you. a lot–i have for a while now.”

you swear your heart stops beating and your brain explodes

HE? LIKES? U?????????

he continues, “i don’t know if you like me back, but i’ve been wanting to tell you this for so long–guess i didn’t have the courage until recently,” he lets out an airy laugh

you’re looking at him in the eyes now; a subtle shimmer of the afternoon sun sparkling in his eyes

“hyuck, i like you too. how could i possibly not?” you chuckle at his shocked expression

he goes :O

he’s genuinely speechless when you lean forward and press your lips ever so softly onto his

you literally feel him freeze, which worries you for a second, but your worry is washed away when he slowly kisses you back

you melt right then and there

he takes your hand in his, interlocking fingers, as you pull away, a faint pink blush painting both your cheeks

“wow”

“really, y/n? that’s all you have to say? what happened to being wisdom’s child, huh?”

“donghyuck, i SWEAR to ALL THE GODS–!”

your sentence is cut off when he presses his lips onto yours again, you smile into the kiss which causes him to smile with you

he kisses you again and again, and then again, until you’re both a giggling mess

“let’s stay like this forever, yeah? what do you say?” he says, bringing his lips to your forehead, lingering there for a moment before pulling back and looking at you

you look at your intertwined hands, and then back up at him, “i’d like that”

#lee donghyuck #lee haechan #donghyuck fluff #haechan fluff #donghyuck x reader #haechan x reader #donghyuck imagines #haechan imagines #donghyuck headcanons #haechan headcanons #nct fluff #nct x reader #nct bullet imagines #haechan bullet imagines #donghyuck bullet imagines #mine

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pokenimagines · 4 years

Note

NSFW Guzma fic - we all know ya boi's got that alpha male energy, but how abt a situation where Guzma's s/o convinces him to swallow his pride and wear a virgin killer sweater, and sorta letting them take the reins

Here’s a Salt special, leading you on only to leave you all blue balled. You’re welcome. If only I hadn’t limited myself to 500 words for fics so I could do more. Ahhhh shame.

Discord (16+) - Request Info

Warning: This is NSFW so if you’re under the legal age or uncomfortable with content like this, please skip over this one!

Virgin Killer

Honestly you didn’t think you’d ever be getting as far as you did, but seeing him walk out of the bedroom wearing that had you more flustered than you thought. It had started week ago when you commented that he’d look awesome in a virgin killer sweater with how nice his ass was, and obviously he said when hell froze over. Well after losing a bet with you, you finally managed to get him into the scandalous outfit.

His entire face was on fire as he looked side to side, his thick thighs on full display as he tried pushing the outfit down a but to cover himself a bit more. You smirked at how sheepish he looked, when normally he just radiated alpha male energy.

“I swear I won’t show anyone if you let me take a photo.” You purred as you sauntered over to him, placing your arms over his shoulders as you swayed your hips. He grumbled out a ‘hell no’ as he looked off to the side, trying to avoid your gaze.

“Is this all you fucking wanted?” He asked as you parted from him, already missing his warm chest as you made a twirl motion with your finger. He flipped you off while turning around. You couldn’t help but whistle at the site, walking behind him and cupping his ass and giving a playful squeeze.

“Well I thought, but now I’m thinking of a few other things I wouldn’t mind.” You said as he flinched from your touch, spinning back around and covering his mouth as he glared at you.

“You’re into some weird shit.” He commented, making you smirk. You walked over and pulled at the top of the sweater, bringing him down so your lips could brush against his.

“Do I need to get the collar and leash and teach you how to be a good boy, Guzma?” You said and the way his pupils blew open you knew you had him. Your hand went and cupped his front, feeling the twitch of his erection through the fabric and you couldn’t help the dark chuckle.

“Come on, boy, let’s have a little fun.” You said as you backed him up into the wall, still cupping his cock as you tilted your head gently to the side, connecting your lips with his own. He moaned into your mouth as you applied more pressure, not letting him get the stimulation he desperately needed. His hands went around and cupped your waist, making you click your tongue as you parted.

“Ah ah, no touching.” You said, grabbing both his hands with your own and pinning to them to his sides while you used your leg to grind against him. His breath hitched at the display of dominance, something he wasn’t used to with you, but surprisingly was enjoying. You went and gave a small nip at his lip.

“Who’s a good boy?”

#pokemon #pokemon x reader #x reader #reader insert #guzma #guzma x reader #pokemon guzma #team skull guzma #pokemon guzma x reader #pokemon usum #usum #usum pokemon #pokemon sm #sm pokemon #pokemon sun and moon #pokemon ultra sun and moon #spicy salt

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tylerwritez · 3 years

Text

Tuesday, june 22 2021

I've noticed I'm getting "the shiverys" or "the twitchy" a lot today. Like every time I FEEL something I take a moment to violently tic.... every time I think about certain things I tic.... good things, bad things, things from an hour ago and things from years ago. Tic, tic, tic.

Also, I have... some stuff to explain. Its really no big deal, but you know me: I'll freak out about it anyway. Basically I dissed my friend (rightfully so) around the time that we had just met cos they did something that threw me off.

He saw it in my phone... NOW. it's not RELEVANT anymore and I've since redacted that criticism...and now I gotta explain it to him anwyays. Oh well. I'm good at this stuff. I can get myself outta any situation. I dont even know why I'm talking like this tho... it's not a "Situation" it's just smthn I gotta explain rq.

Oh, today's song recommendation is Spirit Crusher by Death. I'm a huge Death fan...

Also! I gotta study... for my replacement exam. How stressful. Its about photosynthesis, but like, it's not simple. We went DEEP inside those fucking leaves.

One sec, lemme hook up my IV tube

Not an ACTUAL IV tube... just my headphones. But since I'm so #emo, it might as well be a fucking IV tube with the way that I cant live without it.

Its 3:08 and I'm walking home now. I was upset last night but me and Star have made up now lol... it was thAt easy. I'm so defective, making shit hard when it doesnt need to be.

It's so hot out damn. Idk. I had school today, so I had Bio class... I ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION for once. I had lunch with Star and her friend group, and I honestly kinda feel like they're MY friends now too, even just a little bit.

Actually, I used to rant about feeling lonely like all the time but now I have so many friends it's crazy they all keep inviting me places and it's like people WANT ME AROUND... idk. It makes me happy.

Today I gotta ask if tommroow after school I can go to Bee's house to watch Supernatural (famous homoerotic ghost show)

I should also add songs to Erin's spotify playlist for our picnic saturday which I still need permission to go to.

I gotta ask for Wednesday after school to watch Insidious with Jay which is apparently really good

Also hes the friend that I gotta explain stuff to... the DrAmA... the ThEaTrE....

Update my dad said yes to hanging out with Bee but first I'm gonna miss school to fix my broken brackets on my braces

Also turns out the house I THOUGHT we were moving into has substantial damage from shifting so... we aRENT moving there.

In case you didn't know, shifting is when like the house that's been built literally SHIFTS like it moves around.

Anwyays Jay just texted me... I'm gonna change into shorts since it's hot, set up my study area,.... and respond to him.

The time is 3:22 p.m.

Wish me. Luck.

Luck is plentiful! As it so often is in my risky, risky life.

I play my cards right. It's a learnt skill.

But also there wasnt much to explain since it passed already and was tiny anywyas.

XD so I've made up with the whole goddamn world by now.

Its 6:31, we saw 1 house. Only one. Its kinda hot out but I'm gonna bike now since we just had supper. I finally finished my homework... I just have to finish one mixed media piece as my final project for art!

Friday is my replacement. On photosynthesis and cell resp. We know this. But what I didn't mention, or I dont THINK I did, is that if I finish my art project before then I have the second block FREE!!! Me, Star, and her friend

A are planning to leave for second block and maybe get mint chocolate chip ice cream!

Also I might eat her out XD

Anyways idk. I hope I can bike tonight to call Jay.

I keep accidentally using people's real names here then having to correct it... I dont know how much i care about MY identity being discovered... but to have my friends doxxed would suck.

Man I feel bad abt saying fuck star last night cos we made up....

Wait we r looking at another house? Idk I'm in the car still waiting to go home

Oh wait no now we r goin home

Its 6:39... I hope I still have time.

I went biking, called Jay. Went home. Idk, friendly conversation... we talked more tonight and I also talked to my other friend A. Jay is... I LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH??? I feel so happy. Talking to him thinking about him seeing his STUPID FUCKING FACE JESUS. his eyes alone... I could stare at his face all day probably. I want to kiss him... hOLD HIS HAND... omg... huG HIM!!! Eofjwpxjwie he's so sweet like I can't even... and I'm proabably not good enough for him like. Wtf. Hes easily a 10. And I dont rate things outta 10. How tf do I end up with HIM? Doing stuff, as friends. Like wHAT. I guess I got lucky XD. He says he loves my personality and I'm hot XD ofc I dont see it myself. But like. JESUS CHRIST he could proabably easily pull whOever. XD me?

Whatever though. As long as we r together and stuff. I LOVE HIM A LOT. he said he loved me. Every time he says that it makes me so overly happy.

Maybe I'm just sappy and stuff.... whatever. I think it would be nice to be hugged by him.

Yeah I'm cheesy.

I'm sorta tired now so maybe I'm not writing the best.

I just keep thinkinf about love. Love is a muscle of evil suggestion. But how evil can it really be? I am just a human being and that is all. Everything else is applied. I am just a human being with soemthing in my heart that pulls me all over the place. Love is this strange thing because I'm fucked up and to be able to love without that fucked up part of me, without the damage... is this complicated, hard thing to do and I can NEVER tell if I'm doing it right but I know I'm DOING IT. I know I FEEL LOVE. And soemtimes it's such an intense thing like when you go to surf on a wave at the beach with ur belly but u hit it wrong and it's so big and overwhelming it washes over you and PULLS you down to the bottom and smushes your face into the sand and YOU CANT BREATHE jesus Christ it's like that.

Or maybe I just want to experience love as it should be felt.

Obviously all of my problems surrounding this Damage could be easily fixed if I went to therapy but. there are reasons I can't.

I LOVE a lot. Too much for my own good. Enough to hurt me, get me into trouble, etc etc but also... enough to liberate me. I LOVE. I love Jay. So much. LIKE. MY BRAIN ORBITS AROUND HIM CONSTANTLY THINKING OF HIM AND PRAISING HIM AND MWUAH HE IS SO LOVELY I BOW BEFORE HIM...

I think as much as I love, a lot of the times I tend to focus even more on BEING loved.

If I am told I am loved, and shOwN I am loved... it is one of the most powerful things. Especially since I was literally emotionally neglected in childhood... yeah. I feel like I'm always trying to fill that hole.

Not EVERY feeling I have is for that reaosn but sometimes, if you tell me you love me, show me you love me, hug me,... I'll like start crying,,, that's the childhood emotional neglect kicking in. If you call me #smol and #cute and say I look young and fragile which happens more often than you'd think XD, I know I'm not supposed to like that shit, so I act like I dont....but I do. Which is PROBABLY ALSO THE CEN 🤪 like whatever lol

Anwyays I'm fucked up

You see how quickly things become complicated in my mind?

Convoluted? Is that the word?

Whatever. I OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS COS I OVERTHINK THEM BECAUSE I'm LITERALLY MENTALLY ILL IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I'm not joking. I obviously have unresolved undiagnosed "issues"

I do Suspect things, though.

I can make a list

Maybe I shouldn't.

Maybe I will.

I shouldnt.

Whatever.

I used to hate when people brought up my self harm. I would actually panic. I still self harm but now? Now I'm fine with anyone talking about it as long as it's not an adult who can get me into trouble/force me into therapy over it. Because really? I kinda like having it mentioned. It's kinda validating and it's like hey... people can see that I'm sick.

I dont do it so people talk to me about it though. Dont get me wrong. If I did, I'd go vertically on the arms, not for suicide but so it healed and people would ask XD.

My scars are actually VERY hidden... cos I never intended for ANYONE to see. But for those who DO see them,,,, it's nice soemtimes to have people express concern.

I dont wanna be PITIED or anything, but idk I just think to myself "wow, they're CONCERNED... about ME... they arent angry or mean... they didnt yell at me or threaten me... they respect my autonomy and privacy...

And they CARE ABOUT ME..." and it makes me cry.

That's also the CEN.

I dont know. I just like when people express genuine concern. Even if they see and then just ask if I'm okay. That's all it takes cos then I go wow.

Its validating and irs lovely because finally people care... FINALLY PEOPLE CARE. FINALLY I GET SOME EMPATHY OR SYMPATHY AND NO ANGER.

Even just having them brought up tells me its noticeable enough

My brain does this thing where it thinks nothing bad that's ever happened to me was Bad Enough for me to be upset about.

And I dont know... its nice sometimes to be told shit like "omg that looks so bad" or to see that people who do see my cuts are somewhat shocked or revolted... it's nice because I go... "hey, it was bad enough for them..."

Or to have people comment on them with concern. Just ANYTHINT WHERE PEOPLE NOTICE IT AND ARENT ASSHOLES ABOUT IT IS VALIDATING.

Because I'm not used to that...

Because CEN

I'm. The worst perosn on the fucking planet.

I should kill myself.

I suddenly actually feel so self hating I do want to kill myself... oh god.

I ruin everything. Everything. Everything. Everything. What have I done. Like. Why. Oh god.

I'm just remembering when Star said my kindness seemed like an act. And how I've been called out for seeming fake like 2 other times.

DO I SEEM FAKE???? I DONT EVER PUT ON ACTS OF KINDESS.... CONCIOUSLY? but the very idea that I could be perceived that way...

Should I like not try to be nice or some shit?

Jesus christ she hurts my feelings even now when it was a long time ago.

But I cant blame her. I can't blame anyone for how i feel except my parents because they left me with fucking. Heart nerve damage or some shit.

I'm tired and now I'm sad too. Goodnight guys.

#JudeJournals

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vampireqrow-moved · 3 years

Note

hey so I agree with a lot of the stuff in your post about the transphobia involved in the origin of the pansexual label, but I just have one question: what are the actual impacts of people with good intentions calling themselves pan? If you don't hate pansexuals and consider them bi, why type up a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of the origin of the label if it means the same thing in the way that most non transphobic people (your audience) use it? a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways (like bi and lesbian and anything really) and plenty of valid identities from problematic roots and evolve over time as people use them differently (queer, transsexual). so how is a person with good intentions using a not-perfect label in a way you don't like a threat to the community? if someone is using the label pan transphobically, wouldn't their bigotry exist independently? if pan people do not act in transphobic ways besides using the label pansexual, realistically what is changing if they call themselves bi beyond holier-than-thou aesthetic activism? plus, a blog on the internet isn't going to get everyone to stop identifying as pansexual, especially considering multiple prominent celebrities ID as pan. so why spend all that energy quibbling on semantics because some bi people use a slightly different word when you could be worrying about Literally anything else? just feels like you want to find something to argue about lol. extremely disappointed that I had to break a mutual

im going to respond to each thing you bring up chronologically- im not trying to nitpick or prioritize certain things you say ill just forget things if i go out of order and i dont want to miss something important. ALSO! i will be typing less formally (like keysmashes and shortening words n stuff) in this response than my og post bc its 1am as im starting to type this so im tired but i want to be clear that i am like. taking this seriously and im not like. mocking u in anyway if it could read that way?? i hope not but just in case anyways here it goes!

in terms of actual impact people with good intentions identifying as pan: honestly im not sure the full scope of the impact this has, so ill only be speaking to what ive personally seen which might not be all. but like... id argue my younger self has good intentionals iding as pan. i wanted to support trans people, even if i didnt understand a lot of the nuance involved. as a result of this, i developed a sense of superiority over other bisexuals and a mentality that bisexuality was a primitive and lesser sexuality. that mentality is harmful, and although im not sure if it affected bisexuals around me (of which there are many most of my friends are bi ajfjfjf) its still a harmful mentality and can easily hurt people even if i specifically didnt. also using it even with good intentions, which i know many people have, still spreads and further normalizes a label that imo can not be separated from its transphobic origins. this effect is not as extreme as other forms of transphobia and biphobia by A LONG SHOT. the bi community faces a lot of other issues but that doesnt mean this one isnt worth addressing if that makes sense?

if i dont hate pansexuals: ik this is part of a larger point which i will adress but i specified this in my post bc i see a lot of other posts that are negative towards pansexuality have "i hate pan ppl" somewhere in it or a close equivalent. i do not shame these ppl for their anger, i just wanted to be clear i think a lot of pan ppl are bi ppl with good intentions choosing a label they dont fully understand based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality.

why write a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of pansexuals origin: ok 😭😭 the real reason here is that im literally just bad at summarizing. like thats literally it. i also like talking, its a bad combination. plus ive been thinking abt this for like. over a year im not even kidding and just like i have a lot of thoughts and figured if i was going to bother making my own post instead of rbing someone elses that i might as well get everything i wanted to say off my chest. ALSO BTW i literally got an ask like a week ago that was several paragraphs long asking me to explain my thoughts on why pan was harmful and some other stuff so like. this is partially responding to that and partially just me wanting to air my grievances ? idk if thats the right expression 😔😔

why write the post if my audience of people who identify as pan arent doing it in a transphobic way ? again sorry i didnt really understand the phrasing so i hope this is a vaguely correct summary!! um but like... again imo i think pan cant be separated from its transphobia and like. again imo iding as pan is like. a transphobic action/choice? obviously one transphobic thing does mean someone necessarily is like officially a Transphobe (it CAN be depending on the action but i dont think that applies here) but that doesnt mean there arent problems with what they did. this is like very complicated, but like. someone doing something harmful without the knowlege that its harmful doesnt make that person a bigot by any means it just means they didnt know. and i feel thats the case here? a lot of ppl (myself included until recently) know next to nothing abt pansexualitys origins so a trans inclusve sexuality might seem like a safe and good bet just because they dont know too much abt it, and like? i cant hate those people cause that was me for 5+ years and djgjfjdj you just dont know what you dont know!

basically i think iding with a transphobic label is inherently a singular transphobic action that doesnt make the person transphobic by itself, but is still a transphobic instance.

a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways like bi, lesbian, etc.: this is true and a point i attempted to make on my original post, but i might not have clear enough. my issue with pan is specifically that it is a transphobic response to a preexisting identity. lesbian isnt an attempted trans inclusive indentity that replaced an identity that already existed (which have many trans ppl identifying with the og label). transphobes can use whatever labels they want, but transphobes using a label vs a label having a transphobic origin is very different. bigots use inclusive and supporting language for their bigotry all the time but language that originated with that bigotry is worse.

many valid identities stem from problemstic origins (like transsexual and queer) but the words evolve: ok my paraphrasing is a little weird there. anyways. the thing here is that. those are slurs. reclaimed slurs that can be empowering to many people, yes, but slurs nonetheless. reclaiming a slur is taking a harmful word and wearing it as a badge of pride. first off, pansexual is not a slur (ur not implying that in anyway just. saying) and it isnt being reclaimed when people dont treat it as having harmful origins. transsexual is the way some people identify but ppl acknowlege its a slur and originates from transphobia. ppl love to act like queer isnt a slur, which is an issue in and of itself, but just. factually it has historically and is currently being used against ppl with the intent to hurt them. pansexual isnt on the same level as these and other words like the f slur, d slur, etc. pansexual originates from trans and biphobia WITHIN the community and not outside of it, and most pansexuals dont see themselves as reclaiming the title because they dont think anythings wrong with it in the first place. and reclaiming it just seems unnecessary considering its history? theres no empowerment from using pan as a label as opposed to queer or transsexual, and it just divides the bisexual community for no reason.

how is a person using a not-perfect label a threat to the community? ok i dont think its a threat but still an issue if that difference makes sense? id like to reiterate a few things ive said before, but for me personally, it made me look down on bisexuals and see them as lesser, and it made people around me see pan as the "trans inclusive" sexuality as opposed to bisexuality, and basically its usage just leads to further biphobia. is this the worst of biphobia? no!!! but its still biphobia and why not attempt to target and minimize that? i have no way to singlehandedly stop biphobia, but my post might get through to my friends who id as pan and that small thing is better than nothing.

if someone used the pan label in a transphobic way, wouldnt that bigotry be different from people using it not transphobically?: someone claiming all bi ppl are transphobic and only pan is the acceptable label is obviously a lot worse than someone iding as pan and saying bi/pan solidarity but again, the second isnt not an issue because the first one is a bigger issue, its just a smaller issue in comparison. i wouldnt say the bigotry is different, one is just worse than the other, but it still has the same problems.

if pan people dont do anything transphobic other than id as pan then what changes with iding as bi over pan other holier-than-thou activism: its just one less person using a transphobic label? which isnt that big but it might lead to their friends stopping iding as pan and cause fewer people around them to see bi as a transphobic identity. which is small scale stuff, i wont try to blow it out of proportion, but thats still a step in the right direction and hopefully more people follow with it. its not terribly huge or lifechanging but something small that may only affect the people close to you is still something rather than nothing.

a blog the internet isnt going to get people to stop iding as pan: oh absolutely not. honestly i expected to get unfollowed/blocked more than change peoples minds regarding the pan label (im surprised i only lost two followers so far honestly) but again, someone literally asked me to do this and i wanted to be clear on my stance on the label, since in the past ive been supportive of it. im not expecting the post to get more than five likes, its more directed to my followers rather than the internet as a whole. im not expecting a large impact, im hoping to change the minds of my followers and friends who id as and support the pan label. thats it. if something bigger comes from it- great! but thats not what im aiming to do.

prev point + many prominent celebrities id as pan: the first name that comes to mind is someone im not a fan of for separate reasons but thats irrelevant. i mean im repeating myself a bit but some celebrities in the past validated and made me feel excited abt my identity as a pan person when they came out, and it justified the label to me, even when i had doubts. i have never interacted with a celebrity and do not plan to change their minds abt their identity. again, my post was for my friends and followers and maybe who ever was scrolling through the biphobia tag and decided to read my post.

why spend that much energy worrying abt the pan label instead of something else: ive spent waaaaay more energy thinking abt a singular meme i didnt like regarding my favourite rwby character so like. maybe i just overreact to things lol. maybe i have a lot of energy and since i cant talk my friends ears off abt my favourite fruits or the different voting methods i learned in my math class or what would dreams taste like, then i gotta put my energy into something. idk. i have a lot of energy and honestly? this didnt take that much. but i felt it weighing on me as my friends talked positively abt the pan label, when i felt guilty for the superiority i felt over my bi friends INCLUDING my best friend and favourite person in the world so like. i spent enough energy worrying abt it, and like. in hindsight since its been over 12 hours since posting it, im thinking abt it less. i was more worried abt feeling dishonest with my friends than actually worrying abt pansexuality, but i figured i owed them an explanation for why my feelings around it had changed.

just feels like you want to find something to argue about: okay i DO love arguing but im not pulling this out of my ass for fun. its in response to posts ive seen on my dash, asks i recieved abt pansexuality, and my way of letting people know my views have changed and why since i know at least some people are curious.

i am sorry to lose a mutual as well, and i genuinely hope things go well for you, but uh yeah thats that.

again, if people have further questions im willing to answer them i just might take a while bc i have school and other stuff 2 do but uhhh yea sorry if im clogging ur dash sjfjfkkf

#asks #long post #anonymous #pansexuality #biphobia #transphobia #my post

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dottie-wan-kenobi · 4 years

Text

song lyrics I use to characterize Dick Grayson

This is definitely not everything (& I would love to do more) but it’s also Extremely Freaking Long so. Many thanks to @zitkaplushie for chatting w me abt this! I would love to hear your thoughts/additions/etc. If u disagree w any of these, feel free to debate w me but please be civil!!

— OVERALL:

Drag Me Down by One Direction: okay there are tons of parts that fit but this line is the best: “I've got fire for a heart / I'm not scared of the dark / You've never seen it look so easy”

I think this one is kind of straightforward lol but. The first line kind of tells me that Dick is passionate, and feels more with his heart than his head. The second line is just kind of a tongue in cheek thing like obviously he’s not. And the third one is both Dick’s confidence and also that it’s just TRUE. He makes things look easy, all kinds of things. It’s just a fact.

High Hopes by Panic! at The Disco: ugh this has such good lines but this one: “Mama said / Burn your biographies / Rewrite your history / Light up your wildest dreams / Museum victories, every day / We wanted everything, wanted everything”

So I think “Mama” thru to “dreams” ties back to him becoming Nightwing, or going through different identities and kind of letting himself go with it to an extent. Like he doesn’t let it hold him back. The rest of it, like...that’s just Dick’s superheroing career. “We” in this case could be him and Bruce, him and the Titans, him and Damian, etc etc

Catch My Breath by Kelly Clarkson: um. the whole song. the whole thing. buuuut one line I’ll analyze will be: “I don't wanna be left behind / Distance was a friend of mine / Catching breath in a web of lies / I've spent most of my life / Riding waves, playing acrobat / Shadowboxing the other half / Learning how to react”

“I don't wanna be left behind” - he knows this feeling well already and doesn’t want to relive it

“Distance was a friend of mine / Catching breath in a web of lies” - he has like no civilian friends in canon, and even then he’s always lying to somebody about something. There aren’t many people he can be truly close to and open with, other than like Donna and Roy and Kory

“I've spent most of my life / Riding waves, playing acrobat / Shadowboxing the other half / Learning how to react” - idk, when I see this it makes me think that he’s just lived this life that isn’t exactly normal and he recognizes that

Birds by Imagine Dragons: this one makes me so sad but: “I know that / Ooh, birds fly in different directions / Ooh, I hope to see you again / Ooh, birds fly in different directions / Ooh, so fly high, so fly high”

So obviously Dick has lost a lot of people important to him over the years, either because they died or DC said XYZ and Dick’s relationship no longer has any rights, but. This is how he would feel about that. Grudging acceptance, hope to see them again, wishing them well.

Dance Monkey by Tones And I: I had to. “I said, oh my god, I see you walking by / Take my hands, my dear, and look me in my eyes / Just like a monkey I've been dancing my whole life / But you just beg to see me dance just one more time”

I’ll mention this later on, but I think that Dick projects an image a lot of the time that isn’t what he’s really feeling. This ties into that - I think at certain points in his life, he just gets exhausted and wants to take a break, but he can’t. He feels like everyone is counting on him, either to do this or that, or keep up this appearance. Sometimes they really are, and sometimes it’s pressure he’s putting onto himself!

Icarus by Bastille: tbh this is a song that I think applies to most if not all of the batfam, but for Dick, this is part of it that I like: “You put up your defenses when you leave / You leave because you're certain / Of who you want to be”

I prefer the version of canon where Dick willingly decides to stop being Robin, but even in the way that he gets kicked out, this tells me that he’s steeling himself for whatever may come, and that he’s sure of his actions.

Stars by Grace Potter: now THIS one is freaking sad. “All those times we looked up at the sky / Looking out so far, it felt like we could fly / And now I'm all alone in the dark of night / And the moon is shining, but I can't see the light.”

Again, he’s lost a lot of ppl!! I usually think of this song as him referring to his parents or Bruce after he “dies”, but it could apply to anyone really. And these lines in specific just make me think that he feels lonely without whoever it is, that he’s not in a good place.

Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd: "Boy, don't you worry, you'll find yourself / Follow your heart and nothing else / And you can do this, oh baby, if you try / All that I want for you, my son, is to be satisfied"

Okay so maybe I hc that the Graysons were very much so free spirits who rubbed off a lot on Dick. But with that aside, to me this is Dick being determined to live a happy life, and knowing it’s going to be a struggle at times. “You’ll find yourself” and “if you try” are things that I think Dick keeps close to mind. Like, maybe he doesn’t know everything right now, but he will. He’ll figure it out. And he can get through anything if he just pushes through it.

Weight In Gold by Gallant: “I’m pulling my weight in gold / Call me anxious, call me broke / But I can’t lift this on my own”

I’ve already mentioned this but Dick has a lot of pressure on his shoulders, like all the time. And he’s also someone who reaches out to others, which is what these lyrics are saying. He’s aware when he can’t handle the pressure anymore and can admit it to himself. (I don’t think this fits him ALL the time, I mean it just doesn’t, but. Sometimes.)

Tears Of A Clown by Smokey Robinson: I really fuck with the idea that Dick is, still, an entertainer. that + the pressure he’s under = “Now if I appear to be carefree / It's only to camouflage my sadness / In order to shield my pride I've tried / To cover this hurt with a show of gladness”

The word “camouflage” stands out to me because I think sometimes the way he hides parts of who he is is to protect himself??? Dick can also be a prideful person, who might not want others to know that he’s been hurt by something they’ve done.

The Show Must Go On by Queen: relatedly,,, this whole song fits him perfectly. but to do something not related to smiling: “Show must go on. / I'll face it with a grin. / I'm never giving in— / Oh—with the show. / I'll top the bill, / I'll overkill. / I have to find the will to carry on with the show.”

This ties back to him hiding his real feelings, of course, but also it speaks to how he doesn’t do things by half. This makes me think about being Batman, about how he won’t give in to the pressure, will push through and keep going and uphold his dad’s legacy as best as he can

Pumpin Blood by NONONO: “It's so magical feeling, that no one's got a hold / You're a catalyst to your own happiness you know”

This goes back to my thoughts that Dick has this mindset that if he keeps going, keeps putting in as much effort as he needs to, then he can get what he needs. It’s also kind of those moments where Dick realizes that where he is is good, like being Robin, but it’s not great, and it could be great. When he decides to stop being Robin, it’s like he’s thinking, “I could be happier, and if I want that, I need to do it myself.”

Rocketeer by Far East Movement: this song fits in a lot of spots but. “Here we go, come with me / There's a world out there that we should see / Take my hand, close your eyes / With you right here, I'm a rocketeer”

Overall imo this is a shippy song but this lyric specifically could be Dick and anyone at all -- he’s the kind of guy who reaches out to others, who would enjoy showing people new things. I also think the last bit kind of speaks to how he can feel better and more empowered when he’s not going through things alone

I Want To Break Free by Queen: “But life still goes on / I can't get used to, living without, living without / Living without you by my side / I don't want to live alone, hey / God knows, got to make it on my own / So baby can't you see / I've got to break free”

This goes back to a few things. For one, I feel that when he feels held back or held down, he’s VERY aware of it and doesn’t like it, and wants to have his freedom back. Another one is, considering all the people he’s lost, it’s like...he doesn’t want to live without them but there’s no choice, he has to. And finally, I also think this is to Bruce, like he’s feeling like he could do and be more if he weren’t being restricted by Bruce

Teams & Friends, Ships, Family, & Bruce under the cut!

— TEAMS & FRIENDS:

Young Volcanoes by Fall Out Boy: there’s a reason why I named my fic after this lol. “When Rome's in ruins / We are the lions / Free of the coliseums / In poisoned places / We are anti-venom / We're the beginning of the end”

I think that Dick really does enjoy superheroing, and that he’s proud of himself and those he works with for being courageous, kind, and helpful to the world. In his more positive moments, this is what I feel like he’d think of his teams and their impacts.

Home by Daughtry: I’ve always thought of this one as a batfam song but tbh I think it works better as a Titans one. “Well I'm going home, / Back to the place where I belong, / And where your love has always been enough for me. / I'm not running from. / No, I think you got me all wrong. / I don't regret this life I chose for me. / But these places and these faces are getting old, / So I'm going home.”

The way I interpret this is like...he DOES love Bruce, he does love the batfam, but ultimately when he thinks about home he thinks of his friends. This is kind of him talking to Bruce, at least in the second half. Another reason why I put it here is that there’s another lyric in the song that says, “I'm going to the place where love / And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.” In the batfam, as zitkaplushie said, love isn’t conditional or anything but it IS exhausting. It takes a toll on them. Love with the titans is just easier.

— SHIPS:

Make Me Feel by Janelle Monae: Dick is bi like this song and this line describes his at-times tumultuous relationships: “It's like I'm powerful with a little bit of tender / An emotional, sexual bender / Mess me up, yeah, but no one does it better / There's nothing better”

He takes comfort and strength from his relationships and sometimes that’s good, hence the powerful/tender part! But in all his relationships, not just his romantic ones, it’s (sometimes) easy for people to affect him

I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) by Celtic Thunder: this fits all of his ships imo: “When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be / I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you / And when I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream / I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you”

He’s just a sappy boy who is in love. That said, I don’t think these feelings would overtake him!

— FAMILY:

Losing My Religion by R.E.M.: I read this heartbreaking fic recently that dealt with how Dick hid his feelings from EVERYONE and no one noticed anything was wrong, really, except Cass. so. “Every whisper / Of every waking hour / I'm choosing my confessions / Trying to keep an eye on you / Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool / Oh no, I've said too much / I set it up”

Dick is more open than his siblings, but he does still hide things, especially from them. The line “I'm choosing my confessions / Trying to keep an eye on you” makes me think of Dick trying to take care of his siblings, whichever way he can

This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) by Kishi Bashi: “Home is where I want to be / Pick me up and turn me round / I feel numb - born with a weak heart / I guess I must be having fun / The less we say about it the better / Make it up as we go along / Feet on the ground / Head in the sky / It's OK, I know nothing's wrong... nothing”

“Make it up as we go along / Feet on the ground / Head in the sky / It's OK, I know nothing's wrong... nothing” - this reads happier than it’s sang but I do think it describes the more positive side of the family dynamics!

You’re Not There by Lukas Graham: this one is abt (all of) his parents :( “I only got you in my stories / And you know I tell them right / I remember you and I, when I'm awake at night / So give it up for fallen glory / I never got to say goodbye / I wish I could ask for just a bit more time”

There are times where the deaths of his parents & Bruce (and Alfred) weigh heavily on him, and that everything he does is kind of continuing on where they left off, or doing something they didn’t have time to do. I think he would tell his kids stories about them and that he would try to be as true to them as he can be. And then of course, “So give it up for fallen glory / I never got to say goodbye / I wish I could ask for just a bit more time” is kind of his relationship with his parents after they die

— BRUCE:

(I gave him a separate section bc I have a lot of feels abt them okay??)

The Ballad of Dick Grayson by Crafty McVillain: there are actually a lot of songs abt Dick Grayson, but I picked this one bc of this: “Broken hearts improve, but my mind's broken too / Show me how to hurt and I'll hurt them with you / I'll take on the world, I will fight for you / But tell me how to stop, cause now I'm fighting you”

This is abt when Jason takes on Robin but I like to look at this like:

“Broken hearts improve, but my mind's broken too / Show me how to hurt and I'll hurt them with you” - this is when Dick first comes to the Manor, and when he’s first becoming Robin. He’s struggling and Bruce shows him a way to cope. (is it healthy? lmao)

“I'll take on the world, I will fight for you” - this is just...any time really lol. Dick is loyal to Bruce (to an extent) and will fight alongside him, will do almost anything for him

“But tell me how to stop, cause now I'm fighting you” - then this is how it feels when they’re broken apart for the first time, when they aren’t getting along and it’s just a change from the past few years, and Dick doesn’t know what to do about it

Let You Down by NF: “Feels like we're on the edge right now / I wish that I could say I'm proud / I'm sorry that I let you down / Let you down”

“I'm sorry that I let you down / Let you down” - this could be pre-emptive, Dick kind of thinking that no matter what he does, he’s most likely going to let Bruce down

Like how Bruce is always that 8 year old who lost his parents, Dick is always who he was the first night he went out as Robin, desperately wanting Bruce’s approval

He wants the approval and hates that he does, it feels like it holds him down

The Chain by Fleetwood Mac: “Listen to the wind blow / Watch the sun rise / Run in the shadows / Damn your love / Damn your lies”

When I read these lyrics, I think about Bruce and Dick when they’ve been arguing, having a quiet moment (the peace after the storm, zitkaplushie said), kind of reflecting, and Dick just thinks, “I want you to love me but I want you to stop lying to me.” Or like, “your love comes with your lies and I don’t know if I can handle that [right now].”

Numb by Linkin Park: “I've become so numb, I can't feel you there / Become so tired, so much more aware / I'm becoming this, all I want to do / Is be more like me and be less like you”

There’s this moment in canon, before he even gives up being Robin, where he’s acting just like Batman, hunting down criminals with a single-minded ferocity that has his friends legit concerned for him. I can’t remember exactly what he felt about it when he kind of snapped out it but these lyrics remind me of that. He doesn’t want to be like Bruce, he doesn’t want to be Batman, and especially as a teenager, that last line is big. Overall it also fits when Dick IS Batman, and he feels like he’s kind of being swallowed by everything that it is

The Archer by Taylor Swift: okay I’m sorry I can’t pick between these two: “I've got a hundred thrown out speeches / I almost said to you” and “And all of my heroes / Die all alone / Help me hold on to you”

There are a lot of things Dick doesn’t say to Bruce over the years, or things that he wants to say but doesn’t for however long until he can’t hold it in anymore or it’s the right time or whatever. Ultimately that line just tells me that their relationship isn’t one with great communicating

“And all of my heroes / Die all alone” - Bruce ‘dying’. “Help me hold on to you” - Batman when Dick is him. Or it could be about Dick’s parents, and then Dick trying to keep Bruce alive as Robin/Nightwing

#dick grayson #dick grayson meta #meta #dc #batfam #robin i #nightwing #my meta #sorry for all the OC tm today #im feeling manic lmao gotta do something #got sooooooo long #I FORGOT THE TITLE FUCK DKHFJKSH

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supernaturalfanluc · 4 years

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@superduckbatrebel : Okay, so what abt a fic where Dean and Cas work on a place (You can choose which) And they seem like they're dating, everyone thinks so. But one day, Dean shows up with his new girlfriend Lisa and everyone learns that Dean and Cas were never dating, and then you make your ending, IDK it's okay if you think it sound boring, it's jut one idea

Thank you for the idea, I shifted a few things around. I know it’s not quite what you expected it to be, but I hope you like it.

“Cas!” I heard Dean’s familiar voice from across the apartment.

“Yes, Dean?” I responded as I searched through all the boxes. We had just moved into an apartment together. We thought that since we were both going to the same highschool and needed to get away from our homes, it would be financially easier to rent out an apartment together.

“Gabe and Sammy are going to come over to help us unpack and then we’re gonna head over to the diner.” Dean’s cucumber green eyes landed on my vibrant blue eyes for a second before they flew across the room.

“Okay! Guess we will see the two bringers of destruction soon.” I sighed thinking about the last time Gabe and Sam got together to prank the both of us.

“Yep! I’ll leave you to it and make sure to hurry your feathery-”

“Dean!”

“What!?” I glared at him, which, somehow answered his question.

I picked up my box and took it over to my room while dean followed silently behind me. We dropped my boxes off into my room before doing the same to his. We worked in comfortable silence before the doorbell rang.

“I’LL GET IT!” I screamed from across the room as I ran trying to get to the door before dean. Dean sprinted towards the door and before I could stop myself I tripped and flew right at him causing us to go stumbling across the room.

“It’s open.” Dean groaned as I tried to get out of the wrapped up mess we were. His leg was hooked around mine while he layed on my arm. I could feel my other arm stuck between around legs. His free hand was on the side of his head rubbing the spot that collided with the wall. His other one was also stuck between us.

I heard someone open the door while I let my head drop onto Dean’s chest. I let out an exasperated sigh once I gave up trying to get out of the knot we were in. Dean laughed as he watched me struggle.

“Dean, what do you think you’re doing?” I hear sam say with just as much of the amount of sass as my brother‘s candy.

“Dog pile!” I hear Gabe scream as he and Sam come running at us. I bit down on Dean’s leather jacket as I fought back a scream. I felt the pain hit me and it hit me hard. Suddenly, I heard a loud pop in my arm. I shook the pain off even though it felt like a thousand knives were going through me when I moved it. Dean must’ve heard the noise because he struggled as he tried and failed to push Sam and Gabe off.

I smiled weakly at him before yelling at them to get off and held me and Dean unravel ourselves. As soon as they got up, I felt some of the pain and pressure leave my arm. I let out a relieved sigh. Once they pulled Dean and me apart, Dean immediately checked my arm to make sure it was okay.

“DUDE!!!” Dean said with a gasp. “You fractured my little angel’s arm!”

“What!?” I said confused.

“GABE!!!!!” Sam whined.

“It wasn’t me you oversized moose!” Gabe replied defensively.

“With all the candy you eat, you are just as bad as me!” Sam stuck his tongue out at Gabe. Gabe ran over and licked it before Sam could retract it. Gabe winked at Sam’s shocked face as Dean and I let out ooo’s and aww’s.

“Well are you going to help us unpack or not?” I said frustrated at my hungry stomach.

Sam and Gabe let out out groans before retreating to our rooms. Gabe went into mine and Sam went into Dean’s. I could hear Sam teasing Dean before asking him what happened before they opened the door. I laughed to myself as I thought about my clumsiness.

Before long, we had finished unpacking and we’re on our way to the diner. Jo, Ash, and Ellen were all going to be there today. I smiled fondly as I thought about how kind they all are to me. Even though they are Dean’s family, they treat me like family too. It must be because they’ve known me for so long.

We ordered what we normally do before a lovely looking brunette haired woman walked over to our table. Sam and Gabe exchanged looks as they walked her walk over like she owned the place. I looked at them confused while they just smiled and shrugged.

“Hey dean,” she said with a bright smile, “you still up for tonight?” She winked at him as his cheeks turned slightly pink.

“Umm...” His voice trailed off as he looked at me shyly before turning his attention back at her. “Yea, seven tonight, my place.” He smiled as he wrote down our apartment number and address on a napkin and handed it back to her.

I got cleared my throat and excused myself, not wanting to hear the rest of the conversation as I walked over to the restroom. I opened one of the stall doors and sulked in. I have had a crush on Dean for a while now... At first, it started off as a great friendship, then we became best friends, and soon family, then those feelings developed into more. I always pushed it away not wanting to confront the sad truth that Dean would never like me back.

I silently sobbed with my head in my hands. I sat down on the closed seat of the toilet for about five minutes before I heard the door open and someone walk in. I whipped my eyes as I pretended to get up from finishing and flushed the toilet. I pulled out my phone and checked my eyes to make sure it wasn’t visible that I had been crying. I sighed, I have cried a lot growing up and had learned a thing or two about hiding the fact that I had been crying. I’ve hidden it so much I guess my body had gotten used to the fact that it needed to remain hidden.

“Are you okay?” I heard Sam’s voice echo through the bathroom. There was the smallest hint of empathy and worry in his voice.

“Of course, just needed to use the restroom.” I looked down and realized that my fly was undone. Thank goodness, I thought to myself as I loudly zipped it back up. I hoped that Sam would hear that as use it as proof that I had indeed come to use the restroom.

“Okay, whatever you say.” I walked out of the restroom to find Sam washing his hands. I leaned over the one on his left and decided to do the same. I smiled thankful for the silence. We exchanged a look that said more than a million words ever could. A few years ago, I had told Sam how I felt about Dean. I’ve always trusted him and he’s confided in me as well. He said he understood and revealed the fact that he had feelings for my brother. We have been there for each other ever since, always there in case one of us needed to let it out.

We walked back out to find that Dean and Lisa had left to go out for a walk by the park. Gabe smiled at Sam the second he Sam him and ran over to drag him back to the booth. I laughed as I watched Sam get confused with all the mixed signals he was getting. If I was him, I would be confused too. We always knew that Gabe was pansexual, it just confused us on whether or not he liked Sam too.

“So, what’s with Lisa?” I watched Gabe look at Sam for help. Sam just pushed Gabe and motioned for him to tell me.

“Dean and Lisa have been dating for a while now, but they haven’t told anyone. Dean’s keeping it a secret from you. Dean didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or make you feel like your friendship was going to die out.” Gabe sighed, he knew how I felt about Dean too. I didn’t tell him but he figured it out. Most people assumed Dean and I were dating but it was just how close our friendship was.

“Yea, but don’t worry, he’s probably going to figure out how quick she is to move on and go onto another guy. She isn’t the most faithful person, maybe when she’s older she’ll straighten out.” Sam looked at me hopefully. I smiled at him and gave them a hug, thankful that they were always there for me.

Once we were done eating, I got the check and paid for all of us. Dean was supposed to pay but he didn’t leave any money. I guess he got so caught up in the presence of his girlfriend which he didn’t tell me— his best friend, that’s always been there for him, and shown him nothing but loyalty, love, and respect— about.

We walked home once we realized that Dean also took the keys of the impala with him. I smiled weakly while Gabe and Sam tried cheering me up along the way, telling me jokes and funny stories while making a fool out of themselves.

We got home and I allowed Sam and Gabe to spend the night. They stayed in my room while I grabbed some blankets and took the couch. I didn’t bother changing or taking a shower and just went to bed before Dean and Lisa could get home.

~~~~~~~~~~ The next day ~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up and found myself wrapped in Dean’s blankets. I looked around confused and realized that I was in Dean’s room. I peeked out the door and was surprised by the sight of breakfast and Sam, Gabe, Lisa, and Dean all sitting down at the table laughing. I softly closed the door and curled back up on Dean’s bed as I fell back asleep.

“Wake up!” I heard someone say as their body fell onto mine. I groaned remembering how much my arm hurt when pressure was applied to it. I hadn’t moved it much the other day but I could tell it was already getting better, I’m a pretty fast healer. It’s almost inhuman.

“I’m awake.” I mumbled as I felt someone else shake the bed.

“Hell yea! We have school today! You better be awake now, Cassie!” I jolted away once I heard Gabes voice echo from the opposite side of the room as Sam.

“I AM AWAKE!” I ran out the door and was surprised to find Lisa sitting outside on her phone. I squealed when I felt Dean’s strong arms grip me and drag me back to his room.

“Hey! You assbutt!” I screeched.

“Assbutt?” Dean asked amused as I blushed.

“We already got you some clothes.” Sam said as Gabe showered me in perfume.

“What’s that!” I asked through sneezes. “It’s giving me a headache!!! Why does it smell like artificial strawberries?”

“It’s Lisa’s, she agreed to let me shower you with it once you woke up.” Gabe smiled innocently.

“IM GONNA KILL YOU!!!!” I screamed as I quickly threw off all my clothes.

“Get some underwear on first! We have a lady in this home!” Dean squealed as I ran out of his room chasing Gabe. I stopped in my tracks as I looked right up at Lisa’s amused face. I turned around and caught the underwear Sam threw at me. I ran after Gabe, throwing them on in the process. I tackled him and grabbed the perfume out of his hands as I sprayed it viscously on him. I ran back into Dean’s room and threw on my clothes.

��Let’s go!” I said as I ran back out, throwing a pancake into my mouth in the process. We all ran to the impala and jumped in as we raced to school. We got there just a few minutes before the bell rang, barely getting into our classes.

When I came out as gay to the school last year, a lot of people had taken that as a reason to bully me some more. I always struggled with being bullied. My name, clothes, and weak way of being didn’t help. Dean was one of the most popular boys in the school. He always tried to help but his friends always forcefully pulled him back.

I sighed as I sat through another long day of being called a fag and other names. I was beaten in the parking lot during lunch and pelted in spit balls during class. Gabe helped me clean myself up and apply some makeup after lunch. Dean has only ever heard the names they’ve called me, he never knew about the abuse. It must’ve helped that he was barely in any of my classes. People have learned to keep it hidden from Dean and so have I.

Once school ended, I ran back home. I opened up the apartment and plopped down onto my bed, locking the doors behind me. I cried into my pillow before Dean could get home. Once I stopped, I got up and jumped into the shower. I smiled as the cold water hit me like a refreshing wave. Before I knew it, the door to the apartment opened up. I heard keys jingle as they feel onto what I believe to be the couch. I heard Dean hum a tune we both knew very well. I stopped the water near the end of the song. As I stepped out I sang “For I can't help falling in love with you...”

“Elvis...” Dean said as he opened the door and smiled a toothy grin. I leaped back into the curtains and fell inside the bathtub. I sighed thinking about how clumsy I was while Dean laughed at me. Once he was done laughing, he helped me up and out of the curtain. I hid my face in embarrassment the entire time. He tossed me the towel and I changed into my clothes. He looked entertained while he threw off his clothes and hopped into the shower. Once I finished, I picked up my stuff and closed the door behind me leaving Dean to hum his tunes alone.

I walked into my room and gasped as I looked into the mirror. I saw all the bruises and cuts that I have accumulated and realized that Dean might’ve seen. Yesterday, I had been wearing makeup just in case. Once I took the shower it must’ve all washed off. I groaned hoping that he was too caught up in his fit of laugher to realize.

Later on around dinner, Dean had made a delicious pie and some burgers. Cheeseburgers are my favorite and he knew that so he had made some just for me. We sat down at the table with the lights off and some candles lit so that the electric bill won’t be too high. I smiled as I bit down into the delicious burger. Dean looked at me with a look I couldn’t quite identify. I smiled up at him as I devoured the delicious burger. I wonder if Dean tastes better.

“Cas?” Dean asked me, he was happy to see that I was enjoying the food he made.

“Yes?” I said as I bit down taking another big bite. I moaned thinking about how delicious it tasted. Dean’s cooking was one of a kind.

“What do you think of Lisa?” I chocked on my burger and fought the urge to cough. I sat their red faced as I reached for the water and guzzled it down.

“Wow. That bad.” Dean sighed and I could almost hear the disappointment in his voice. I looked back up at him, ashamed of myself for letting my feelings get in the way of our friendship.

“No! I’m sorry, I was just surprised by the question. I didn’t really know about her. I just found out last night.” I mentally slapped myself for being so awkward. Dean shifted in his seat and the silence was biting at me.

“Okay...” Dean’s voice trailed off and he ran his hands through his hair. I ate my food even though I had lost my appetite. I know, it’s horrible for me to be such a jerk. Dean is my best friend after all, I should be supportive.

“She’s great. She’s pretty and kind and caring. She has a wonderful personality and seems to really love you.” I blurted out. I didn’t mean most of what I had said but I said it anyways. I wanted to make Dean happy even if that meant putting myself down.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety for a while now. Self harm and suicidal thoughts were a horrible side affect to that. A little more sadness wouldn’t cause much more harm than has already been done. I’ve been abused, neglected, bullied, hurt, and so much more.

My parents kicked me out as soon as they realized that I was gay. Most people think I’m gay anyways. No one really gave me time to explain that I was bisexual. I just told my parents that I liked boys one day and they immediately assumed. They told the school before they kicked me out of the house. The word got out from the principle to the teachers and from the teachers to the students.

Whenever I tried to explain they all just thought I was saying that to make my punishment less painful. Thankfully, Dean, Sam, Gabe, Balthy, Charlie, Kevin, Benny, and a few others believed me. Even though Dean is the most popular jock in school, that doesn’t stop him from being friends with the school punch bag aka freak. Some of Dean’s friends are my friends too now. Most of them aren’t aware of how I’m treated either. The ones that are dont say much because they aren’t as close with Dean.

“Cas!” I felt strong hands grip my shoulder and shake me. I leaped up from my chair and turned around pinning the person to the wall. My vision was blurry and it didn’t help that I couldn’t see very well in the dark. I wiped the wetness away from my eyes and focused on the person in front of me. I let go as soon as I realized it was Dean.

“Cas, are you okay?” Dean looked at me, concern flooding his eyes. “Where did all those scratches and bruises come from? Are you wearing makeup? Cas!”

“I- I... Dean! I’m okay, I was playing soccer with Gabe earlier and I tripped over a rock. His foot ending up colliding with my face during the fall.” I looked at Dean and felt bad for lying to him. I was surprised by how quick and easy it had become for me to lie. Dean looked at me and nodded.

“You didn’t have to hide that from me. You fall all the time you klutz.” Dean chucked and I soon felt my face flush a deep red.

“I do not!”

“Do too!”

“I’m going to bed, assbutt!”

“Fine! Me too!”

Dean and I stormed to our rooms while laughing. I plopped down onto my bed and closed my eyes ready for another day in hell.

~~~~~~~~~~ Next Day ~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up to the wonderful smell of freshly baked pancakes. I wondered into the kitchen after my shower while I clumsily threw my clothes on. I sat down at the table admiring Dean from afar. Once he turned around my eyes flickered to the pan in his hand. I laughed as I thought about Gabe.

“Ready for breakfast?” He said throwing the food down.

Once we finished gobbling down our food, we got into the car, picked up sam and Gabe, and drove to school. The rest of our siblings lived together and drove each other to school. John was out at work a lot and Mary had sadly passed away. Adam stayed with the Novak’s and had a very good relationship with all the siblings. As soon as we got to school, we parted ways.

“Hey Novak!” I heard an all too familiar voice yell from down the hall. I looked around eager for an exit only to find out that I was cornered. I looked back at my school bullies as I collapsed on the floor and let their beatings take over. I sobbed once it was done. Their kicks and insults flooding my brain. Their punches beating me down more than usual. I crawled into the bathroom and fumbled through my pocket.

I grabbed an all too familiar blade. I felt the cold metal brush against my finger tips. I walked into a stall and shut the door behind me. I didn’t bother to check if there was anyone else in the bathroom. I didn’t care anymore. I needed this. I took in a shaky breath as I put the smooth blade up against my skin. I pushed down and sliced into my skin. I watched as the wound took some time to open up and let out the all too familiar red color. I moaned as I felt the pain remind me I was still alive. I was still in control. I had some say in the world. I could decide whether I lived or died.

I walked out of the stall and put the blade back into my pocket. I washed my hands and let out a gasp when I turned around to see Dean. I pulled my sleeves down but by then it was too late. He knew. He knew everything.

I tried to run. I tried to get away but he just grabbed my other arm. He pulled me in close to his chest and I let out an ugly sob. I cried into him until I heard the bell ring. I pulled away from him and saw the sympathy in his eyes.

“We will talk about this later. Stay safe, goodbye.” Dean walked out of the bathroom and I looked myself in the mirror happy to see that my body had already adjusted. I walked out and was glad that my body had been able to heal so well and so fast. Sure some of today’s scratches and bruises were there but yesterday’s were barely visible. My mother used to say it was a gift. That was before she left.

The rest of the day went my smoothly. I didn’t get much more trouble. I did get some insults thrown at me but nothing physical. I was happy to see Sam and Gabe come out with grins on their faces when they pulled me into a hug.

“Rough day?” Sam poked my rib playfully.

“You could say that.” I rolled my eyes when Gabe scanned me.

“I’m gonna go home! See you guys tomorrow!” I ran off before they could say anything else.

When I got home, I found Dean and Lisa sitting close together on the couch. I took off my trench coat and hung it. I walked to my room and gave them their privacy. I dropped my keys into my bed and opened up my books to study.

Dean didn’t end up making dinner for me today. He did make some for Lisa though. I don’t mind. I’m not hungry much anyways. I’m sure other people deserve food more than I do. I did get to study and read some fanfic.

I threw off my shoes and plopped into bed. It was warm today so I pulled off my clothes and stayed in my boxers. I sighed relieved to be out of my clothes and getting some breeze. I closed my eyes ready for another day in hell.

~~~~~~~~~~ A few weeks later ~~~~~~~~~

Dean and Lisa have been publicly dating in school now. He’s grown distant and she’s been spending more and more nights over. The bad thoughts and habits have grown more and more common. Sam and Gabe have grown worried about me and come over to check up on me a lot. My grades haven’t dropped and the abuse has gone up. My self esteem and mental well-being has dropped though. I’m drowning in my negativity.

Today is a Tuesday? No, yesterday was Tuesday. I opened up my phone to check the calendar and as it turns out it is Tuesday. That’s strange I was pretty sure it was Wednesday. It must be the depression and/or anxiety speaking.

I walked out the door to find Dean and Lisa having breakfast just like they did yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that... I sighed as I opened up the fridge and grabbed an energy drink. I ran out the door and realized I was still in the same clothes as yesterday. Whatever.

I got to school and was greeted by the same treatment. Everything was the same. Same old school, same old friends -I have none-, same old teachers, same old classes, same old bullies. I sighed as I sat through the day wondering when it would be over.

After class, Crowley, Abbadon, and a few others pulled me out to the parking lot for the usual treatment.

~~~~~~~~~ Time jump 1 month ~~~~~~~~~~

“Cas! Come on! We are going to be late for the party!” Dean shouted from across the room. He was tugging his pants on while I was focused on taming my hair. After a few tries I gave up.

“Dean!!! I’m the one waiting on you!” I said with an exasperated sigh.

“Then lets go!!!!” Dean ran over to me and grabbed my hand tugging me out the door.

The car ride was very comfortable and consisted of Dean singing horribly off tune with his rock station and me teasing him. Truth is, he has a good voice when he wants to, but sometimes he really could care less. I smiled as I took in how happy he was.

Once we got to the party, we jumped out of the car and ran in. We had gotten there decently early and had gotten a great parking spot right out front. The music was blaring and despite it being early there were still a lot of people. Dean left me and went around looking for Lisa.

I walked over to the nearest and most abandoned corner and sat down with a cup filled with a mixture of water and color dye in my hands, just in case. I took in shaky breaths as I absorbed the reality of my anxiety attack. I walked into the bathroom and took a moment to myself.

Along the way, I realized I had lost my cup and went to go grab some punch. One turned into two and two turned into three and well you know how it goes. Next thing I knew, I was buzzed and on the breaking point of being drunk. Almost everyone around me was very drunk. I looked around for an empty room to myself once I decided I needed an escape.

I walked upstairs and spotted a dark door down the hallway on the dark side that looked decently abandoned. I barely open the door and peeked in to find Lisa ontop of someone that was most certainly not Dean. Before I could regret anything, I pulled out my phone and started filming. I didn’t film too much, just enough to be able to prove it to Dean. Once I had solid evidence and broke it apart by throwing in a random lost shoe in, I ran downstairs and noticed Sam and Gabe.

Sam wasn’t drunk but Gabe most certainly was. At this point, I was basically sober. Lisa had woken me up enough to set me straight, well decently sober atleast. I looked down and chucked when I saw that Sam was missing one of his shoes and Gabe looked like he had tried to take off some of his clothes but was too lazy to.

Once the party was over, I went back home and couldn’t bring myself to break the news to Dean at the moment. He was simply too happy.

~~~~~~~~~~ Time jump 2 weeks ~~~~~~~~~~

The guilt was killing me, I don’t know what to do... I think I’ll show Dean the video. I’ve gained more and more evidence on Lisa recently. One time was after I finished getting beaten and found her making out with Azazel. Then it was Zacharia, and then Alastair, and soon it was all of my bullies and more. She even joined in once or twice... and I had gotten it all on camera.

“Dean!” I shouted before I could change my mind. He was going to go on a date with Lisa in about half an hour.

“I have something to show you!!!!” I said with more urgency and that got him.

“Coming!” Dean stumbled into the room trying to fix his tie.

“Once I’m done I don’t think you’ll care about that.” I looked at him sadly and pulled out my phone.

“What?” Dean looked at me confused. I threw my phone at him and watched his shocked and pained expression and he looked through it all. His face turned angry once he saw the abuse that she had joined in on. After it had all processed, Dean was crying into my arms apologizing.

“It’s okay. Dean, it’s okay. I’m here. I love you. It’s okay.” I said softly to him as I ran my hands through his hair.

He straightened himself out after a little and looked at me with a determined face.

“I’m going to break up with Lisa.”

~~~~~~~~~~Time jump 1 week~~~~~~~~~~

Dean and I are both working at the diner now. Dean came out as bisexual. I was just as surprised as everyone else. What hurt me most was the fact that he knew for a while now and didn’t bother telling me, his best friend. Not even Sam knew.

“Hey Cas!” Dean said as he eagerly skipped to me.

“Hello Dean.” I looked up at him amused.

“Dinner. 10. Our place. Tonight?” He said nervously.

Was Dean freaking Winchester asking me out? This can’t be, DEAN IS ASKING ME OUT. I stated at him for a good few minutes trying to find the words. I looked at him red in the face.

“YES!” I shouted with glee. I leaped over and pressed my lips up against his.

“I KNEW IT!”

“THATS MY OTP!”

“TEN DOLLARS CARL!”

I laughed as I heard more and more remarks get shouted. Guess it really might be meant to be. Maybe we were the one true pairing.

I know it’s not the best but I just wrote this at 12 am soooo.... I’m going to continue the rest of the story on Wattpad. If this was good enough for you guys great! It’s going to be called : Another Day in Hell (Destiel AU)

#dean winchester #castiel #supernatural #supernatural fandom #supernatural love #supernatural family #writing #fan fic requests #fan fic stuff #fan fic writing #destiel #highschool au

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