#this a joke obviously

[sparkles-oflight]

What I ordered vs what I got

Just give me eyeliner and a microphone and I too will sing Zitti e Buoni

#this a joke obviously #i was pulling my wet hair back and I was like 'Bojan what are you doing at my house!?' #ik i look nothing like him but it's the bi vibes #also #i was going to do the eyeliner but I'm already late 😅 #joker out #bojan cvjetićanin #joker out bojan #random #random shit

[rakeshouseparty]

If u are scared to cuddle rake because the long sharp deadly slice u like butter claws, then well……….. ur s DORK!!! A TOTAL NERRDD EWWWWWW

#tpost #this a joke obviously

[bewarethecircles]

Neil Gaiman: "in season 2 the fan-favorite angel/demon couple will fall in love, overcome great adversity, and eventually defy heaven and hell to run off together to the stars :)"

Fans: "cool! I can't wait, does Aziraphale confess first or does Crowley?'

Neil, holding Gabriel and Beelzebub figures and making them kiss: "Does who do what now?"

#obviously this is a joke/simplification because neil cares very much about aziraphale and crowley but the mental image was too fun to resist #mr gaiman if you see this i love you thank you for making the show #good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy #good omens spoilers

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[corgiteatime]

I love seeing people call whatever is going on between Astarion and Gale as "toxic old man yaoi."

Because if you told them about it, Gale would look sad and say, "Toxic is a bit of a strong word. Everyone in this group has their own issues and-"

Meanwhile, the 200+ year old vampire shaking with rage behind him would shriek, "OLD?!?!?!"

#baldur's gate 3 #astarion #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bloodweave #fyi they are not actually old; yes that is part of the joke #if you reblog or tag this seriously retorting that they aren't old i will block you #i block anyone who doesn't think i'm hilarious because they are obviously wrong

[jay-wasstuff]

LA's environmentalist lawyers pulling up to Universal:

Update:

Well then, I guess:

#its time to pay ❤️ #wga strike #writers strike #writers guild of america #screen actors guild #sag aftra #sag-aftra #sag strike #environment #tree law #universal #nbc universal #bird law #update on tags #$250? $250!? #the environmentalist lawyers when the city told them they were first time offenders and thus would be having fine limits: 😀 eh #obviously they probs didnt call them in but its the joke let it be

[drulalovescas]

CASTIEL'S LEGACY SHOULD NEVER BE FORGOTTEN

and no I'm not elaborating idc idc

#this is a joke obviously but also so true so true #castiel #supernatural #spn #destiel #911 abc #911 spoilers

[st-hedge]

I hand in my cv to paint the backgrounds for the 2d Zelda movie

#loz #legend of zelda #loz totk #tears of the kingdom #link #this is obviously a joke #I’ve come down with a shitty cold over night and I drew this in one sitting #so if this is all crooked and ugly when I’m no longer delirious #my apologies

[hellsitegenetics]

Imagine you make a text post and it gets reblogged on this blog and its like "STRING IDENTIFIED. CLOSEST MATCH:" and then it's your full name and a photo of you attached to it

String identified:

ag a a tt t a t gt gg t g a t "TG T. CT ATC:" a t t' a a a t attac t t

Closest match: 308 Negra Aroya Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104

#asks #joke obviously

[vjola]

i don’t have any red flags. i have a white flag. i give up

#this is a joke obviously <3 but also i just want to lie down forever

[whomst-the-hell]

when i learned jedi kids r raised communally i suddenly understood the anakin | obi wan conflict so much better omg its only child vs kid with like 8 siblings. obi wan is like anakin ur so fckn stupid (smiles fondly) and anakin is like he thinks im stupid 😡

#star wars #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #obviously there is more to the conflict and anakins being groomed n shit but #yk #its a joke

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4 (soon))

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU #I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track) #The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more. #I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by #and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles! #Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise! #I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space. #It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is #You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together: #I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper. #I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything. #You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there. #Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite. #day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less: #'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all) #This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly. #(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)

[irregularjohnnywiggins]

You ever have those moments where an idea just... won't leave your head?

#dcu #batman #bruce wayne #green arrow #oliver queen #fake tweets #things I was not able to adequately convey in the format: #obviously Bruce's reasoning is really a lot closer to Ollie's but Bruce has a secret identity to maintain and Ollie... well #I don't know if you can make it out but his twitter profile pic is him in the Green Arrow costume and that's not accidental #also I am pretty sure that Bruce does just have the first airing date of The Price is Right saved in a corner of his mind palace #just in case it's ever relevant to a case #and he's angry at Ollie because Ollie knows that and also knows Bruce can't admit it because it would raise too many questions #also I did consider an extra scene where they tag-team harass Lex #but it just didn't sound right to me #also I put a whole load of Green Arrow references in here #Q-Core N_Singh and H_Fyff are all from the Nu52 Green Arrow runs #albeit Naomi and Henry are at least in the good Nu52 runs #obviously this is post-Snowbirds Don't Fly/Hard Travelling Heroes in general so Oliver is trolling Hal and setting up needle exchanges #and even Hal explaining to Ollie what Twilight is is a reference to one of the most dated things about the Arrow pilot: #the extremely tacky Twilight joke #anyway hope you enjoyed!

[braxiatel]

I am not here to police anyone’s characterisation, but I will just say I wish more people would acknowledge that Mumbo isn’t just anxious he is also

1. full of violence

2. Autistic

3. homosexual to his very core

#this is a joke post if you could not tell by the jokey format #obligatory I am obviously talking about the character and not the content creator tag #mumbo jumbo #hermitcraft #mcyt #the void collection

[rainbowgothdisaster]

see autism has to be contagious bcuz otherwise how else would my OCs all be accidentally autistic and me not realize it until months or years later

#this a joke obviously #but istg ill look at an OC and be like 'wow. you are so obviously autistic.' #its okay they just have 'non canon autism' #aka i wrote them without that in mind and if every character that was obviously autistic was canonically autistic itd be everyone #i look at a bitch and go 'holy shit i dont know how allistics act huh?'

[angstydiaz]

sorry to ppl who are normal about their ships but if I'm not tearing my skin off, literally about to bounce off my walls, eating something inedible and getting close to having an aneurysm cause of them i do not care that much. i need dialogue that sends me into oblivion just seeing it typed out lmao. i need to be insane about them sorry

#tag whatever imma do me n my mutuals ones THIS IS A JOKE OBVIOUSLY DO NOT START #buddie #richonne #avatrice #taivan #lottienat #jackieshauna #chenford #raysand #rina #what ships do these kids(mutuals like ummm) #merthur #six of crows #firstprince #heartstopper #bottoms 2023 #limoreau