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kaeyats · 1 year

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SAGAU,, water park

after the genshin characters (zhongli, xiao, childe, albedo, ei, yae miko, venti, diluc, kaeya, ayaka, ayato, kazuha, aether, paimon, lumine) found a way to leave teyvat and enter earth, you've been bringing them around to experience all the fun things in the modern world. and what's a better place to find some modern fun than in a water park?

reader's gender is not specified, as with most of my works. requests and imagines in my ask box are appreciated, but will take a while. :D

warnings: reader is implied to be rich because this is wish fulfillment and the fic was based on a water park with really expensive tickets so this is the only logical reasoning within the fic, a few suggestive themes because swimsuits (gender neutral) are generally just so, lots of stress and chaos, mentions of alcohol, extreme rides/slides, based on my experiences with water parks in the philippines. these aren't actual warnings and i'm just rambling, aren't i? ^^

perhaps bringing all of them to a public place at the same time wasn't your best idea and considering how chaotic the trip has been so far, it might as well have been your worst. at the moment, you were quite literally looking and acting like a stressed out single parent, chasing around your ten- eleven children. if you counted ei fighting children to the tiny slides being "a child". never in your lifetime did you think you'd have to babysit the uptight and lawful electro archon (you've been her tour guide in-game, but that doesn't count), but here you were, explaining to her how the area with the extremely cheerful colors was indeed meant for kids under 9, not for gods around 2,000. you tried dragging ei into the wave pool, a place acceptable for adults (or at least adult-looking beings), but she didn't seem to want to interact with the deep waters, choosing instead to sit inside your rented cottage and brood after you dragged her away from all the crying children she threatened for cutting the line. the shallow waters of said "kiddy area" were much more appealing to ei, but she's not even allowed to be there anymore. >:((

both yae miko and kaeya had a lot to say about ei's humiliatingly childish actions, although you noticed kaeya being careful with his words, intelligent even in his teasing — ei was still a dangerous being after all. they teased the poor archon's face into a shade similar to diluc's hair and taking pity on ei, you decided to tell them off. the two eventually went away to do more entertaining things (their words), stepping away to lay down under an umbrella's shade with heavily tinted shades and drinking glasses full of soju. you always suspected that those two would get along quite well and seeing their relaxed figures gossiping about everything and anything on sun loungers, it seemed you were right. unfortunately for you though, they found pleasure in targeting you with their teasing, praising your body in swimwear, often cornering you with flirtatious remarks and inappropriate offers.

moving on, you found yourself your own drinking buddy as well. though you and kazuha chose to drink grape juice instead of anything alcoholic, knowing his.. extremely low tolerance. for a few moments, you found peace with kazuha (and the still-brooding archon sitting in the corner of your cottage, now drowning silently in guilt). you two chatted a lot about your world, you told him about every thought that came to mind and he listened to you with an attentiveness that warmed your heart. you always knew kazuha was a wonderful listener and even when you enjoyed the man's tales of traveling, it was nice to have someone who'd give you time and space to talk as well. the free-spirited wanderer tried some slides and rides with the others a while ago, but he found that conversing with you excited his beating heart more.

but of course, peace never had a chance of lasting with your current companions. after a few minutes of complaining about how venti never finished his food and would always leave random chunks in the open, you were approached by a grinning childe. albedo, xiao, aether, and diluc following closely behind him. a strange combination the more you pondered on about it, but that thought flew out your head the moment ajax opened his mouth, "[name]! me and the others are gonna try out the biggest water slide in the place. is that alright with you?"

"sure, if you can handle it.. wait, why are you even asking me about this? aren't you all literal adults...?"

a blush appeared on the harbinger's face, a common sight when he was around you, "ah, yes- just making sure."

"mm. okay, fair. kazu, i'm coming with them, just to make sure they don't murder any staff on the way." you looked over to the man you were previously sitting with, unaware of the jealous looks being thrown at him by the others behind you. he only seemed to shrug, signaling to you that he was rather fine where he was (and would rather not participate in further chaos). knowing who you were with, you empathized with kazuha's decision to stay behind. if only you had the freedom to run away from your "acolytes", but you doubt they'd ever let you get away from them.

while climbing the stairs towards the massive slide, you realized who exactly childe was bringing with him. you were confused to say the least. the traveler and everyone else was an expected group of folk, but all five of them? you never considered them to be close despite the few weeks they've been in your world. and knowing diluc's deep hatred for the fatui, you were surprised him and the ginger even agreed to doing something together. you weren't complaining though, quite curious about their dynamic. you just wondered how and why they even agreed to this. you had no time to ask however as the screams of the poor tourists going down the slide immediately grappled your attention.

had you asked them, you'd have found out that it was originally childe's idea, aether had agreed to go along with it as he does with most things, and the two originally intended to invite zhongli. he was too occupied with an oddly feminine magazine, thinking it was a record of wisdom from your world. so he instead asked the adeptus next to him to go in his stead, encouraging his somewhat son to pursue fun and bonding time with other people. xiao reluctantly agreed, the promise of excitement (god, listening to zhongli talk about the magazine's advice column was boring) and almond tofu afterwards influencing his decision making. realizing that the slide required four people, childe and aether frantically searched for a fourth, the deafening screams of the people who were currently on the slide spurring on the bloodthirsty harbinger even more.

soon enough, they found diluc who seemed to be in deep conversation with a certain chief alchemist. it took a lot for them to convince the winery owner into joining, but after realizing that going on the ride was probably going to impress you, their mighty and benevolent creator, the one who took them in their beautifully decorated home despite the constant hassle they brought, diluc relented and agreed, if only to showcase his bravery and strength.

now here they were, climbing into the giant floatie they were gonna ride down the slide. childe acted with excitement in his every step, he was quite familiar with the hydro element and he's had his fair share of gliding down waterfalls, slides gave about a similar feeling so he wasn't nervous at all — in fact, he was thrilled, almost psychotically so. unlike childe, diluc appeared quite stoic, quite emotionless about the whole ordeal. however, to anyone who paid attention to the tight grip he had on their floatie's handles and the sweat subtly streaming down his face, they would see that his expression of stone couldn't be further from what he was truly feeling. unfortunately for diluc, a cetain snezhnayan noticed, and he was intent on picking on the red-head later. aether felt quite a bit anxious. no kidding, he's faced many dangerous opponents in the past, but water slide physics had never been one of them. he was excited nonetheless, ready to feel the familiar rush of adrenaline flow through his veins. and as for the adeptus, he was rather.. unsure about what he was feeling. he couldn't remember the last time he felt fear, he was probably one of the strongest beings from teyvat, but here, the usage of his powers were prohibited and one couldn't exactly combat a slide. someway, somehow, his heart rate was faster than usual as he felt an unfamiliar emotion bubbling up in his stomach.

"wait, 'bedo, aren't you going to join them?"

"oh no, they only needed four people. i just tagged along to make a few observations." he explained to you, the waterproof camera you bought him a while ago held securely in his hands.

"for research purposes?" you questioned the brilliant alchemist with a mischievous glint in your eye.

"you can say that, but mostly for entertainment."

you smirked at his response. lately, albedo had appeared more human around you and the others. at first, he was so caught up in researching and trying to understand every single thing in your world, he had forgotten to truly take anything in. but recently you found that he finally let himself just enjoy the moment, letting loose in every new scenario he was introduced to.

albedo was chuckling with you when it was finally childe, diluc, xiao, and aether's turn to sway around the circular looking slide. you never pegged diluc to be a screamer, but out of all four of them, his deep baritone voice was the one heard throughout the resort. his body was rigid and visibly in a state of panic as they continued to move in rapid speeds, you were worried he was going to jump off the floatie mid-slide or something, but to your relief, diluc held on throughout the whole ride. you never thought childe would scream as well, but he did scream a bunch (like a pussy) before he started laughing in excitement (and at diluc's facial expressions, ones that albedo were lucky enough to capture). aether was fine for the most part, his vocal reactions mostly ones out of enjoyment. xiao was even more so rigid than diluc, seemingly frozen in place, silently panicking. he looked like he was holding on for his dear life and for a moment, it awakened your protective instincts.

as you descended down the building with albedo to congratulate your boys for being so god damn brave, you were greeted with the sight of the cavalry captain teasing his brother's unexpected reactions and yae along with ei curiously inquiring aether about the ride, considering taking a turn. zhongli didn't look so well, he looked rightfully concerned for his loyal warrior. despite childe's attempts at hyping him up, the former geo archon refused and left to tend to xiao instead, leaving a spot for the cavalry captain to take.

you discovered a lot of things that day. apparently kaeya, unlike his brother, only grunted when faced with extreme fear. yae remained more composed than ei, even finding the breath to make fun of her during the extreme ride. it came as a shock when you heard the electro archon shriek and hiss like a cat while they were sliding down. albedo's reactions were quite emotionless, only ever making a noise around the part where they fall down. diluc tried again a second time and safe to say, his reactions were quite better than the first time, his screams decreasing significantly in volume. you even had a try yourself and you finally understood why your companions reacted the way they did.

ei, yae, kaeya, and albedo made a good quartet, you thought. it eventually came time that they had to close the rides and after all of the screaming and taking turns on different slides, the four had stayed together as a group. curiously joining their conversation, you found that they made a wholesome dynamic — often conversing about the mundane things in life then it escalating to some philosophical thing, all the while sophisticatedly uplifting one another. yae promoted her, uhh, interesting light novels to albedo at some point and you have never seen him look so flabbergasted yet morbidly curious as when yae explained the premises of some of her favorite books. kaeya just laughed at the interaction between the two, a bit tipsy already. he had learned to embrace the insanity that was guuji yae's interest in novelaw a while back when they were talking.

you had wandered shortly after joining their bickering, exploring the little shops around the water park resort. you bought a trinket for every character you had brought with you, somehow always finding something that reminded you of someone. for venti, it was a pair of socks that had blue green stripes wrapped around them. for aether and paimon, you bought three wooden keychains (one for you to match) that had interesting markings. for diluc, you bought more sunscreen because he always looked so sunburnt despite the many times you rubbed sunscreen all over his body. you chuckled to yourself, you were shopping like a cheap grandma on christmas.

you ran into paimon, lumine, ayato, ayaka, and venti shortly afterwards. only then did you realize that you hadn't seen them much the whole day. apparently, they had been enjoying their own little spa-and-shop day with your credit card (god bless its soul). as much as they wanted to spend time with you the whole day, they'd rather abuse the resort side of the water park than add on the list of children you were tasked to babysit.

"i thought after shopping, you'd finally get rid of those blinding speedos, oh dear bard."

"that's what i kept telling him!" chipped in the ever so chatty paimon.

safe to say you got a whole excerpt about how wearing bright yellow speedos to a water park was nothing to be ashamed of. in fact, in venti's own logic, you should be praising his charmingly good looks and drowning him in attention for wearing such seductive and scandalous clothing. ayato was very, uhm, to put it, disturbed by the whole conversation. you caught lumine shooting him a look of pity more than once throughout the bard's ramblings. you did your best to reassure the kamisato siblings not to worry as it was all just harmless banter with the bard. talking came as one tedious task with the anemo archon constantly whining and sputtering out utter bull next to you. you were this close to shoving a bunch of swimwear into his mouth to shut him up.

but alas, the time came that you had to head home and venti's demise had once again slipped away from your hands. you refused to sit near him, instead forcing him to take the car with the annoyed diluc and the entertained childe. if it were any other night, venti probably would've gotten along with the sly ginger, but the harbinger was instead shot down with the brooding bard's remarks about how stupid he looked. your poor personal driver (amongst many other paid drivers) had to tolerate the frustrated banter tossed around by the three as well as a certain paimon joining in only to stoke the fires of their anger. poor aether did his best to ignore them and just stare out of the car window, wishing he had took the car with you and his sister instead.

you sat down in between lumine and ayato, deciding their company was the most pleasant and well, least stressful to deal with. you laughed along the two, updating them on all the escapades that had occurred a while back — a thoroughly flustered xiao glaring at you three from behind you, zhongli next to him excitedly chatting with ayaka about another magazine (meant for teenage girls) he had found inside one of the stores in the water park.

"so that's what me and lumine heard."

"trust me, i was shocked too. albedo looked like he was having a eureka moment."

"somehow i don't think i can view the winery owner in the same lens after this."

overall, you would rate this day 8/10. fun, really fun. you almost died at the sight of your favorite characters in swimsuits, but it would've been a worthy death. the bonding and the rides were all really fun as well. it would've been 10/10 had venti not been flexing his speedos (and ass) to his fellow archons the whole time.

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mixelation · 3 months

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I’m curious though. Who did they end up deciding had the most MC energy?? I’m sooo intrigued by their thought processes for deciding this

i'm not sure because i'm not even sure what characters are involved but i think the general shape of it would be

kakashi thinks minato has the strongest MC energies (if jiraiya is there, he would also back this up). orphan turned war hero hello???

however minato views himself as the romantic lead in kushina's story. she's an orphan from a dead clan living in a foreign village, harboring a giant chakra monster for them (he cannot say this part out loud). obviously she's the main character?

everyone on team 4 thinks they're the main character

shisui: itachi-- tori: itachi isn't a main character. he's sasuke's origin story itachi: itachi: i have no counterargument to this

tori is stewing in the fact that's she's LITERALLY an isekai character but she can't say anything about that

no one thinks shisui is a MC

tori gives a speech about how being an orphan is the TRUE mark of a MC. minato and kushina aged out by having a kid. however, tori grew up an orphan with a checkered, complex past that will make you cry--

kushina: okay but you are ALSO describing deidara tori: DEIDARA HAS PARENTS shisui: wait deidara has a family? kushina: yeah, he ran away and became a wandering-nin because art was more important to him than being sold to iwa jiraiya: narratively, i think this is more interesting-- tori: HE'S NOT EVEN HERE kakashi: tbh your past sounds more disturbing than compelling, tori

tori is deemed a minor antagonist

#reborn au #kushina: what do you mean moms can't be main characters??? naruto is just the hero of the sequel series #minato: please don't call our child a sequel series

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 2 months

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I’ve returned from my sketchbook quest , and here’s a drawing for dauntless-daffodil , who came up with the idea for the spear baby au.

THEM HAS COOKIE!!! ;A; <3 <3 <3 <3 SMOL WITH COOKIE!!!

AWWWWWW~

oh gods looking at that cute little innocent face i can just FEEEEEEL baby spear watching as chaggie and the hotel all stand around them hotly debating What Food Is Even Healthy For A Baby Spear Spawn Child To Be Eating

Charlie: "A cookie??"

Angel Dust: "They don' need cookies, ya useless gays, they need milk!"

Charlie: "We had cookies in the hotel??"

Vaggie: "Why would they need milk? They've got teeth already! Fangs, even!"

Angel Dust: "That ain't how nutrition an' shit WORKS toots!"

Niffty: (shakes jar full of money) "SWEAR JAR!"

Angel Dust: "Fuck. Shit." (hands over three dollars)

Charlie: "Since when are there cookies in the hotel that I don't know know about???"

Cherri: "If they've got fangs and like chewing stuff, maybe they need meat or something?"

Niffty: "OR BLOOD!!!"

Vaggie: "We are NOT-"

Angel Dust: "Ain't no baby under my watch gettin' fed steaks and BLOOD!"

Charlie: "Where did the cookie even COME from?!"

Husk: (coughs)

Charlie: "Husk! You gave them-?"

Husk: "....bar's always got snacks. And they were just. Staring at me."

Angel Dust: "Husky noooooo....!"

Vaggie: "How? I did a double sweep for undeclared cookies just two days ago- you KNOW what Charlie does to your bar if she goes snack hunting in the middle of night and actually finds something. She's like an adorable cookie gremlin."

Charlie: "Heheh!"

Husk: "Yeah well, she's not the only one allowed to like f- fffffffudging cookies. And your kid seems to take after her, so whatever."

Angel Dust: "Baby cat, that's no reason ta- oh for cryin' out loud, now what Vaggot?"

Vaggie: "...what? I didn't say anything."

Charlie: "Vaggieee, you're smiling~"

Vaggie: "Huh?"

Husk: "Like a dumb... dumb."

Niffty: "Beaming! Grinning! AS WIDE AS A SLIT THROAT-"

Cherri: "-fuck fuck fuck, shit shit, damn crap hell- here, take my money and don't fucking talk like THAT in front of the kid either, what the fuck."

Angel Dust: "Sickening."

Niffty: "Thanks!"

Angel Dust: "I meant Darth Vaggie getting all googey eye'd over her an' Charlie chip having a kid."

Charlie: "Oh so you think they're my kid too, huh?"

Angel Dust: "Are ya gonna let Vaggie raise 'em without ya?"

Charlie: "No~pe~!!!"

Angel Dust: "Then congrats on parenthood ta both of ya, it's already going to hell."

Vaggie: "Okay, uh-"

Husk: "You're gonna fffffeathering cry again."

Vaggie: "-no I'm not, I'm just glad the... my kid isn't still crying. Our kid. They, really are pretty happy with the cookie aren't they?"

Charlie: "Of course they are! It's CHOCOLATE CHIP!!"

Angel Dust: "It's not. Baby food."

Charlie: "It is if it's my baby, and they get milk to go with the cookie!"

Angel Dust: "V-gal, stop her! Use ya dang mom veto!!"

Vaggie: "Eh. Charlie was a hellborn kid and she grew up fine. I trust her."

Charlie: "AWww!!!"

Angel Dust: "Unbelievable."

Husk: "Whipped."

Vaggie: "Yeah? My kid didn't even have to say anything to get a cookie out of you, fluff boy."

Cherri: "Uh, guys.... gays...?"

Husk: "What."

Charlie & Vaggie: "What?"

Angel Dust: "Both and speaking, baby."

Cherri: "Where did..... the baby go...?"

Hotel crew: "....."

Place where baby was: (empty except for crumbs)

Spear Baby: (gone)

Vaggie: (wings bristling) "The-"

Charlie: "OUR!"

Vaggie: "Our-"

Demon Charlie: "-BABY!?"

Niffty: "MOTHER OF FUCK." (throws down swear jar) (tries throwing herself onto the broken shards but angel dust and husk grab her)

-meanwhile, elsewhere in the hotel-

Alastor: (walking quickly)

Spear Baby: (crawling after him)

Alastor: "....shoo."

Spear Baby: "Guh!"

Alastor: (nervous sweating) (walks FASTER)

#hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #chaggie #angel dust hazbin hotel #husk hazbin hotel #niffty hazbin hotel #cherri bomb hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #chaggie spear baby au thing #incorrect quotes #silly stuff #Alastor: here. this is yours i presume #charlie: oh thank f- ALASTOR! WHY IS MY KID HANGING OFF YOUR MICROPHONE BY THEIR TEETH??? THEY'RE NOT A F- FIDLING FISH!!#vaggie: ...are you scared of our kid?#alastor: wha-ha-ha-hy! What a marvelously strange suggestion! Don be absurd~!#vaggie: (holds kid out at them)#spear baby: (starts crying)#alastor: (static hiss) (summons husk in front of him as a living shield)#charlie: vaggie /no/. don't weaponize our child please #vaggie: (giving her the kid) (Grinning) aw babe it was only just a LITTLE bit of weaponizing them...#alastor: for the record- I was NOT scared ha HA!#husk: then why the f- fandangle am /i/ here?#alastor: (tight-lipped smile) (banishes him)#vaggie: (SMIRKS)

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ymechi · 6 months

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Chatlog Part 1

author's note: this might turn into a series I am unsure I hope you guys enjoy this. Once again English is not my first language I apologize for the writing. -This series is about how people in teyvat see the conversation between the creator and their companion for us irl it's just chat messages in co-op. -Spoilers for the recent archon quest 4.1 -GN reader (might change that in the future) TW: nothing so far usual cult stuff

Ajax grimaced and glared at the Gardes holding him down. The posh marble floor reflected his annoyed visage and he had half a mind to destroy the expensive flooring. The Gardes were speaking about him as if he was not there listening to everything they said. They paid him no mind talking about things like the Fortress, the Oratrice, and arrest. Ajax paid them no mind he was far too annoyed to listen in. This vacation was getting worse and worse.

Then the traveler came, no it was their grace.

Suddenly this moment was more tolerable than it would not have been. The Gardes talking quieted and everyone was hypervigilant of the traveler. It seems their Grace was not alone, next to them their companion was walking behind them.

Their grace came closer it was then Ajax realized they were coming towards him. His breath hitched. He felt blood rush towards his face, he did not want to be seen by their grace like this. Weak and bound against his will where there was nothing he could do.

The traveler- no their grace stood now in front of him. Their face was neutral no indication of what they thought. The sun shined on the traveler in a golden glow. Their ethereal aura swept over the room like a warm blanket and his knees almost buckled over to kneel.

Suddenly their grace pointed the traveler's finger towards him and the traveler's face changed into a shit-eating grin.

"Ha ha! The evil fatui got arrested. Get rekt!"

Ajax wanted to cry.

"Gee no need to beat a dead horse," said the companion of their Grace through another's body Ajax could not name who.

Ajax wanted to protest that the creator could say whatever they wanted but the system binding them interfered and petrified his body. It was not just him thankfully everyone in this world seemed to be still and unable to acknowledge their Grace, except for their companion. How unfair.

The traveler who was possessed by their grace laughed and how lovely that sounded.

"Hey do you think we can visit him and prison and then," they laughed again, "feed him on a dog bowl?"

"That is oddly specific and sadistic."

"Please it would be so funny," said their grace and laughed.

If it meant that he would be mocked and humiliated to hear their grace laugh so carefree he would eat on a dog bowl and more. Ajax had no shame in that but what he found shameful, which he wanted to bury, was the feeling of wanting to be taken care of and worried over.

*Look at me they are imprisoning me against my will for something I did not do.*

Ajax knew he did not have that privilege or was deserving of it.

"Come let's go to the domain already," their Grace's companion said and went ahead to leave.

Their Grace followed after their companions and it seemed that their brief interaction would end. Ajax felt slightly helpless unable to do anything. Just as their creator was about to leave their grace turned around.

"By the way, I will most likely bust you out of prison stay put for the next one and a half months!"

Ajax looked up with a grin after hearing the declaration, by then their grace had already left.

"You heard that? our grace will be breaking me out," Ajax said with a challenging grin to the Gardes.

Said Gardes looked confused and pale-faced.

One and a half month later in the Fortress of Meropide the creator themselves came to the facility.

"CHILDE WHERE ARE YOU I TOLD YOU TO ####### STAY PUT!!!"

#genshin impact #sagau #self aware au #self aware genshin #cult au #childe #tartaglia #fatui #fatui harbingers #steambird headline the next day: fatui harbringer will be busted out by our grace??? find out and read more #after hearing about it arlecchino is so done with childe she does not care anymore #the tsaritsa spit her tea out when she heard the creators plan/j #also can you guess who the companion of the creator is?

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phosmic · 11 months

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at the end of the river, past the horizon, you will come home again

#our child AU fic updated lolol #csm #chainsaw man #denji csm #nayuta csm #power csm #aki hayakawa #hes hayakawa YOURE hayakawa THOSE TWO are hayakawa #are there any MORE i need to know about???#scribblescrabble

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miss-emmie · 16 days

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Emery bullying Khan

(Inspired from a cocomelon meme of a bald baby singing “let’s shampoo our hair”)

Uzi’s proud of their daughter, N’s also a bit sassier bc of his wife but doesn’t like it when Emery teases people and will tell her to reel it in but she never does so shes flaming people left and right

N and Emery are my favorite Canon and Oc daughter I’ve ever made I’m actually planning angst for them ngl

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padfootastic · 2 years

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thinking of toddler harry who’s very, very attached to his godfather sirius (as he should be, really) and gets pissy whenever he goes for work. (yes, sirius is a 9-5er here. suspend all disbelief, folks)

so, to get a handle on the tantrums, sirius dresses harry in his own little formal clothes, robes and over cloak and silver clasp and fake wand holder and all.

‘look, siri, im just like you!’ harry says, every morning like clockwork. once they look absolutely alike, hair combed and tied neatly (little butterfly clips in sirius’ curls, ofc), they set off for the day. sirius conjures a little size-appropriate desk for him that he can sit at, gets him a briefcase and all. when u open it, it has all sorts of colouring materials, beads and strings and charms for DIY, and a little notepad with a pen for Serious Stuff.

throughout the day, sirius gets his work done while harry carefully does his own stuff. whenever he gets too fidgety, sirius sends him out on a ‘mission’—going out and evaluating how the rest of the employees are doing their work. harry, of course, takes his task super seriously and tries to emulate sirius’ Grown Up Face very diligently, walking with his hands behind his back and an adorable little frown on his face. of course, he’s so short he can’t actually see what anyone’s doing but everyone’s accommodating enough that he has enough information to relay it back to sirius in his office.

at the end of the day, both of them take their cloaks off the hanger, simultaneously sling it over their shoulders, and wave a goodbye to the remaining members in the office. when they get home, harry is still meticulously copying sirius’ actions so he neatly sets his shoes to the side, hangs his cloak on the rack, and falls face first into the sofa with an exhausted sigh of relief.

‘being a adult is hard, padfoot,’ is the last thing he says before drifting off to sleep.

#harry potter #sirius black #good godfather sirius black #i know i haven’t interacted w this side of the fandom in a hot sec #but man i haven’t had an original thought in weeks lol #hoping to slowly work up to writing fic again #i can’t decide if this is a jily lives au w third parent sirius or a canon divergent au where sirius raises harry hmmm #both work really #and ykno i’m always a sucker for more james #but yah. this one’s just our fav boys spending some quality time together #i’m just imagining harry dressed up exactly like sirius #and sirius going to his super professional job with kids hair accessories and glitter on his kids #his eye lids* smh #also yes harry is an unnaturally well behaved child here but that’s the beauty of fiction 🥰#sirius’ job is not specified for a reason #being that i couldn’t decide what it was lol #i was thinking lawyer? but yeah it’s irrelevant #also didnf know how to end this. guess we’re back on our bullshit 🥰#pen’s notes

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tartar-sous · 10 months

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beauty and beast tartali au ft harbingers (2022)

⚠️Only use “TartaLi” when tagging our Tartaglia x Zhongli work, don't tag it as “Zho//ng//Chi” or “Zho//ng//ChiLi". Respect our hard work, thanks.⚠️

#原神 #genshin #tartali #公钟 #タル鍾 #childe x zhongli #foul legacy #do NOT tag this as “Zho//ng//Chi” or “Zho//ng//ChiLi”#only use “TartaLi” when tagging our Tartaglia x Zhongli work #tartar_art #signora #beauty and the beast au #pulcinella #dottore #scaramouche #harbinger

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innytoes · 8 months

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Dark fantasy AU?

-In hindsight, as he's being chased through the forest, hunted by mythical creatures is not where Reggie thought he'd end up when his folks told him they were moving to Los Angeles. Honestly, considering how he used to roam the woods and fields near his Meemaw's farm, the fact that he'd stumbled into a fairy circle near the beach was almost insulting.

-It's not even that he manages to outrun them. It's that one night (he thinks it's night, though time moves differently here and light and dark are all tangled up and is the purple haze of the sky supposed to be dusk or dawn or just a dark stop of the forest?) he'd decided to just... give up.

He couldn't remember how long he'd been running, running from the pounding of hooves and the yapping of dogs that did not look anything like what a dog should look like. He couldn't remember a time where he wasn't hungry, or thirsty, or tired, but something inside of him just kept making him run and run and run

-But he'd had enough. So he just sat down, with his back towards the noise, and hoped they'll kill him quickly. And to comfort himself, he sang the lullaby his Meemaw used to sing when he was scared of the thunder.

-That's what saved him. One of the fae, Caleb, was so charmed by the song that instead of doing whatever it is they did with their prey, he bundled Reggie up and took him to his... castle. Dwelling. Domain.

-He was dressed in finery and made to sing as Caleb and the other fae danced and ate and did things that Reggie very much had not wanted to see, thank you very much. But eventually, they slept, and Reggie met... the other humans who were trapped here.

-Luke, a young boy who had run away from home to become a musician in 1875. He was distraught to hear Reggie tell him it was the nineties now. Even more distraught when Reggie clarified it was the 1990s.

-There was Alex, who had been cast out of his village for reasons he did not want to share, but that Reggie figured out pretty quickly when he saw the way he looked at Willie. He'd fallen asleep near a fairy circle, and the promises he'd been made had been so tempting, he'd said yes before he fully understood the deal.

-And then there was Willie. The boy who had been stolen from his parents, a changeling left in his place. Who had grown up here, a part of this world yet not really. Who did not know what the other boys meant when they talked about years, or America, or really the whole concept of 'family'.

-Luke's the one who tells them of their escape plan. Alex is worried they can't trust Reggie not to rat him out to Caleb, and Reggie is like: um excuse me I was just hunted for sport for who knows how long you think I wanna help that guy?

-But before he can Willie just tilts his head and says: his heart is pure.

-Which is very sweet but also a little creepy.

-Anyway, they do manage to escape Caleb's clutches somehow, and end up back in the human world.

-Being yeeted out of a little ring of mushrooms in the soil of a plant Ray overwatered in the big plant wall of the Molina studio was not particularly pleasant, okay. Considering a real human should not be able to fit through that. But Willie explained that as soon as a fairy portal grew, it was only a manner of time that the fairies would notice it and stake it out to see what they could lure to their realm.

-Somehow, Luke and Alex get thrown clear across the room, Luke slamming against the door, Alex dropping onto the concrete floor.

-Reggie's not sure if him crashing against a pretty wooden piano is better or worse. The sound it made was definitely worse.

-Somehow, Willie ends up sitting crosslegged on the little piano bench, and he turns and quickly crushes up the mushrooms to destroy the portal.

-Julie, of course, is screaming, Alex and Luke and Reggie are screaming. Willie is trying to explain to Julie she over-watered her fern and pouts when she runs away.

-No they're not ghosts but they are changed and they all have weird powers. Luke nearly cries with joy that he can still summon his guitar. Alex is really not okay with this whole 'walking through walls' thing. Reggie is sad he cannot summon a puppy or a pizza.

-Willie can teleport short distances and is shocked to learn humans can't just do that? You have to walk everywhere? Or ride a horse. What's a car? What's roller skates? He needs to see one of these skateboad things immediately, let's summon the human girl back to ask for one. What can they trade for a skateboard?

-They're kind of freaked out at the whole 2020 thing, but hey, Reggie's like: at least it hasn't been a hundred years like when I told Luke about the 90s.

-Queue canon but it's even worse and more chaotic.

#julie and the phantoms #I wrote a thing #AUs are awesome #what do I even call this?#kidnapped by the fae au #I had such a hard time sorting out what was dark fantasy vs supernatural vs horror so... had a breakdown bon appetit #spent days going NO WE ARE NOT DOING A(NOTHER) CORALINE AU #I've only had creepy changeling willie who isn't entirely human anymore for 15 minutes #but if anything were to happen to him etc etc #alex does maybe like the whole 'being able to turn invisible' thing #except it doesn't work on Julie #for some reason #(*cough* Rose's great grandmother may have been a changeling)#Caleb of course is unseelie and rose's great great grandparents had trouble conceiving #they asked the fair folk for help and got a child... but then their child was swapped with a changeling after a few months #and they were all: um excuse we want our child back. No we're not giving this one back to you #tough shit a deal's a deal we gave you our magic music box for a kid and you gave us two no refunds because you screwed up #the story has been passed down for generations and Ray thinks it's a sweet fairytale #except there it's real and he's like: ... okay then. And then in true Molina tradition goes: *shrug* it's free children

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itsyagurlchip · 26 days

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WAIT I SENT THE ASK TOO EARLYA AUWHAUDHDEKDVW

how is the original bone skeleton man doing?? OH OH AND is the setting the usual portal opening in the house and bam you've got new uncles or something else??? YAIOEPEPWLWKWPWBAOAV

buckle up, cuz this is super long yall 🥲

OKAY!!! THIS IS WHERE MY "INTERESTING" PART COMES IN 😁 monsters are just coming to the surface, and speciesism is as high as ever. after a year of this, queen toriel decides to open a human-monster program, something that also promotes her small school.

monsters adopt humans! ebbot was a bit iffy on it, but after realizing the benefits the mayor eventually agreed. (jk that nigga only wants the money 💀-) It was hard to get the program started, because many schools and orphanages werent as trusting, and the state wasn't fundinh it at all. So Toriel took a different approach.

Many monsters put their savings into it, considering their currency is literal fucking gold, and the program would allow each child to get $1000+ per month, depending on their age and needs. and yes giving kids thousands of dollars per year doesn't sound like a good idea, but shhhhh! the plot my dear!

The monsters who take care of them aren't allowed to use it themselves in selfish situations. Both the child and the guardian has rules.

one) you guys have to interact in some way. whether it be verbally, or even physically. two) NOTHING 18+, as all children being minors, that would be kinda weird. three) follow laws as follows- just dont be a shitty parent. four) the child has to want to participate as well, and cant do anything to hurt the guardian. including verbally (bc monster souls are made of feelings pretty much [thats another hc for another day])

id love to go deeper into the details, yet i however cannot bc i dont know how a parent-child program works.

and you have to be in the program for 1 month before you or the child wants to back out.

doesn't matter if its one-sided or not, when someone doesn't like it it immediately stops. id like to say that frisk and papyrus put most if their money into this, just so she can be adopted by toriel.

so when papyrus sees that gaster and sans have been stuck in the lab (not the basement!) for globs of hours at a time, sporadic sleeping, and overall exhaustion from work, he says the craziest shit

"SINCE YOU TWO ARE NERD BUMS, AND I CAN'T ALWAYS BE AT HOME FOR YOU TWO, I ADOPTED A HUMAN CHILD!!"

sans, in his sleep deprived state, promptly rose an eyebrow and fell out of his chair onto his side.

yea, its not that he didn't take the thing well, bro couldn't process it 💀💀

gaster just rolled his only visible eyelight and went back to work

....

well that worked well!!

reader arrived to the house the next day, and seeing that it was a two story house!?!?

AND there was an in-law suite? fuck yea! orphan kid made the jackpot 💥💥😼

they had fuckin steps too les goo!!

Your dark skin shined against the light of the sun, your brown eyes sparkling in excitement.

reader let go of papyrus's hand and ran inside immediately.

Careful as to not smudge your dirty shoes against the shiney floor, you looked around the house in amazement. This place had to have atleast 5 rooms!

and then the in law suite on the side looked like another 2 rooms!?? BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!!

Not only did you have super nice guardians (you hoped), they were packed enough to keep you and themselves stabilized!! Hell, if theirs more people, they could support them aswell!!

Taking off your shoes, you looked around the living room. The long couch was green, albiet a bit patchy for a nice place, while the tan side couches could lean back!!

where those outlets on the sides? omg

"HAVING FUN DEAR HUMAN CHILD?" Papyrus smirked. He knew that the house of the Great Papyrus was enough to impress anyone, even of young ages.

"You guys are so rich!! wow- i mean, not that im tryna take your money or anything, but like- WOW!! Its so big!! Bigger than anything ive ever been to!" You were now flapping your hands and bouncing a bit. Your locs of hair bounced in it's pony tail no matter how small the fidget-hop was.

Behind the living room was a beautiful and lavish kitchen, and to the right there was the steps. To the right it looked like some like of master bedroom or guest bathroom.

But you didn't care about rooms right now, you wanted to see your other guardians!!

"Where are the other people im supposed to be meeting? Are you my only guardian or do they have to take care of me too? Are they mean? Are they bums? I hope they dont smoke or something, Do they have an addiction? What about-"

"THAT!, DEAR CHILD, IS GOING TO BE FOR INTRODUCTIONS!! DO NOT WORRY, WHILE THOSE TWO MAY BE GRUMPS, THEY ARE PLEASANT PEOPLE TO BE AROUND...EVEN IF THE LACK OF SLEEP TAKES THEIR PLEASANT PERSONALITY AWAY..." Papyrus concluded. You noticed that, despite the way he tried to talk to himself, you still heard it loud and clearly.

Maybe he had a hard time with volume control. meh.

Grabbing your hand and leading you towards the back door next to the kitchen, Papyrus opened the door. He had to lean down a bit in order to hold your hand, but he didn't mind.

The hallway was looooong. Instead of it being regular walls, it was glass windows of different colors. Which made you raise an eyebrow abit.

Seeing your reaction, the tall skeleton explained, "SINCE WE DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH SPACE FOR EXPERIMENTAL ACTIVITY, TOTALLY NOT BOMBS, MY BROTHER AND FATHER DECIDED TO LIVE IN THE SUITE!" He said, walking and talking.

You both reached the end of the hallway, hearing mumblings, ramblings, and overall terms that lowkey hurt your brain.

Getting too excited, you open the door to a glass-based lab. With the occasional plastic and metal equipment.

In the middle of the room there was an island counter filled was rainbow colored stuff ('gay as hell' , you sniggered), small green candies, and lots and lots if paper and pencils sharpened to the ends.

At one end of the room, there was a tall skeleton, a little shorter than Papyrus, who was more goop than skeleton. Infact, he looked like someone took a fire torch to his upper body, but you didn't say anything.

At the other end, there was a short skeleton, probably shorter than you (hah, being 5'0 did pay off), laying with his head on the desk, knocked out with blue slob. You marveled at the sight, wanting to know more about monsters at this revelation.

"FATHER! BROTHER! THIS IS THE CHILD I ADOPTED FOR ALL OF US!" Papyrus announced, grinning undauntedly. The smaller skeleton banged his head on the desk at the loud voice, while the other one barely flinched and turned slowly in irritation. "INTRODUCE YOURSELVES WHILE I MAKE LUNCH FOR THE GROWING FETUS!" He declared, marching out with a big smile.

If this plan went correctly, then his favorite family members would be mentally stable (as much as one could try- he thought to himself).

after banging his head on the damned table, sans sat up a bit disoriented.

why was there a human child in the house?

why was it in the lab?

"uhh kid, ur not supposed be here...uhh, its not safe and uh, you could die."

"WOW! Your so freakin cool! How do you talk without moving your face? Are you wearing a mask? I could die here! ooh shiney stuff, can i touch it?"

yea.. this kid has not had a proper friend in a minute

he was overwhelmed by the questions you asked at first, he didn't answer them at all in favor of watching gaster struggle to calm you down.

sans didn't mind how loud you were, it was moreso the curiosity that you brought along with you.

that wouldn't do.

"Hey! What's this?" the kid asked, walking towards the machine that could very much possibly cause the heat death of the universe, before getting snatched up by gaster.

"Enough! you are here to introduce yourself, and you will do as such" It was funny to see the man twitch like that. sans likes this kid already.

After knowing your name and age, sans was a bit surprised.

he honestly thought you were younger.

while introducing himself he tried to keep it simple and short. how old is he?

"how old am i old man?"

His blue slippers shifted from the movement of his ankle bones.

he thought you were just an average kid, but something about you was different.

oddly enough you always wore these earrings saying Y on the right and N on the left.

he wonder what it meant

Now its a week past since you came into the 'haunted house', aka the skele-dungeon

you two play pranks against gaster when he has free time. watching him bounce his leg in irritation every time he finds a lima bean in his notes is pure gold.

since you're virtual, due to your choice, he tries to take you places.

some of the most consistent ones are dance class every saturday and neighborhood walks you take by yourself.

I think of sans is the type of person to give less of a shit about his dad.

mostly because if the way he approaches things, iN tHE NaME oF sCIeNcE

it pisses him off everytime he tries to ask you for a blood sample

and it makes him even angrier when you say yes without a second thought.

but despite that, he cares about gaster.

but he wants to choke him out being his first son.

Despite being constantly sleep deprived, he makes time for this little new joy in his life.

Back then he's sleep at his desk, especially when his magic reserves were too low to shortcut.

But now, and you thought he didn't notice, you carry him to the living room of the main house and turn the tv volume down to 9 when you cant fall asleep.

another thing you both have in common

More often than not, you both find each other at the odd hours if the night.

since he can barely cook shit, it's mostly you making the midnight snacks

he appreciates the food you make for him, despite him initially coming to get a 10 1/2 ounce bag of chips

other times you guys will sit in the living room in silence

occasionally he'll find himself rambling to you about physics, specifically quantum, so he can keep his memory up.

sans likes the way you treat his brother.

as an uncle and not a childish cousin.

You may not be able to keep up with Papyrus's schedules and puzzles

but when you can, you two shine this wholesome light on the whole house that makes sans's soul ache lovingly.

Papyrus likes to take you out for walks more than him, or you'll both hang out in the backyard next to the glass hallway of the suite.

on his breaks, he'll find you two doing silly things

like rolling in the grass

or trying to carry each other.

without being able to admit it, sans and papyrus feel a new joy in their life.

and they got a cool kid to come with it :)

Gaster and sans were in the lab when his father said the most dumbest shit his nonexistent ears could ever listen to

gaster was never fully succumbed into the void, as sans had saved him before anything totally horrible happened.

hence his melted face and arms.

but he saw something, or rather somethings, that his meticulous little nerd brain has been hyperfiaxting on since the child came.

"Let's discover new universes!"

sans was just like 'naw, jit crazy'

so gaster fucks around with the machine for a while in secret while sans is frolicking with his newly adopted child.

ew, children.

but he guesses that she's okay, despite her adamant queries (hehe).

and soon enough, the machine made that man find out after he fucked around

Now that the machine stopped pouring in different variants of his children, this only made gaster more excited to use the machine.

sans on the other hand was fuckin freaking out.

the damn geezer did it

but not only that, there are aggressive ass versions of him who are willing to kill a child and that wont go.

sans is not gonna give on the things that bring him joy that easy.

*insert battle sequence*

ok so he got his ass whooped, no biggie.

and now his adopted child is befriending them. great.

annnddd now his brother is taking care of them. even better.

AANNNDD now his father is too interested in them to try and find a way to send them back. AMAZING!

bro wants to jump off a roof at this point

to be honest, he doesn't like the other versions of himself.

Theyre different possibilities of what could've happened currently and he already thinks about that enough.

but, reader likes them, so he gives them a pass.

but if they hurt her...or even worse, his brother...

he wont need the machine to figure out a way to take them out of this world.

KITTY!! THANK U SM!!! ✨❤️✨❤️✨🫣❤️🫣❤️ EKKK!! YOU GUYS BRING ME SUCH JOY 😋😋😋 YAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYATATATTATATATTATATATATATTATATATTATATATATTATATATA IM SO HAPPY!! YHSHABDGSIWKSBHSUWBWHAISNEGEYGSBAOWOAMQNWHUDBRYDUBJQIBSGATUWOWUEHRBXKMXBSYSJBSBZ-

i know the reader sounds super excited rn, which is sorta unexpected for an orphan centered fic, in the official thing you're gonna see a less than..nice attitude from them.

btw i wanna make a house plan to this can make more sense for your guys. ohhhhhhhh- IM TOO DAMN EXCITED 😋😋💕 i prolly gotta learn skeleton anatomy too-

@kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @amorvincitomnia-14 @spongejuice @cyb3r-st4r. if you would like to be added, check my blog. if you would like to be added, check my blog. SEE? I SAID IT TWICE!!

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