#they're fucking idiots your honor

[dolly-macabre]

*wakes up and immediately heads to drafts to post this baby*

(Some of this might seem just a touch ooc but these idiots have known each other since they were 8 so they're kind of abig deal to each other. Also idrgaf if it is so jot that down 🤷🏻‍♀️)

#my mtl #mtl oc #dahlia birkett #dolly macabre #pickles the drummer #dickles #not my template #but it sure beats the shit out of the first one i did 🥺 #understand my ship in 5 minutes #they're fucking idiots your honor #canon is a sandbox and brother I'm pissing in it and getting arrested for public urination #look at these assholes!

[banannabethchase]

33 SethEddie

Secret's Out

~

33: Biting shoulder then pressing soothing kisses

~

"Yeah, I can hear you," Eddie says. "Wha'cha need, Moxie?"

"Seth isn't answering his phone," Mox says. "He texted me earlier, said he'd be in town."

Seth grits his teeth, doing his best to keep it together. Leave it for Jon fuckin' Moxley to be a wireless cock block. "I'm busy," he shouts, loud enough for the phone to pick him up.

"You - what?" Mox asks. "But - wait, Eddie is the older guy who, and I'm quoting here, 'has such good dick game you haven't walked normally in weeks'?!"

Eddie laughs and leans down, biting the back of Seth's shoulder. Seth can't help it - he moans. Eddie kisses over the bite marks, and Seth hopes it bruises.

"Oh, gross. I can't believe this is happening to me again," Mox whines.

"Quit bitching, Mox," Eddie says, sliding his hand around Seth's cock. "You know what I walked in on you and the cowboy doing last week."

"Ooh!" Seth says. "I knew it! You're fucking Hangman!"

Mox groans, almost whining. "Jesus, Eddie, can't you keep a single fuckin' secret?"

"I was keeping this one," Eddie slaps Seth's ass, "but you had to get all noble and worried about him and now look where we are."

Seth gasps as Eddie fucks into him again. "Yeah, Mox. This is your fault."

"I'm friend divorcing both of you," Mox deadpans.

Seth cackles as Eddie picks up the pace. "Jon, you know you - fuck - can't stay away from me for too long."

#They're fucking idiots your honor #wtf i like wrestling now??? #in which sara writes #SethEddie

[demigods-posts]

i feel like percy and annabeth are the type of couple that would definitely get noise complaints from their neighbors. but it would be like. they got too rowdy arguing whether or not milk was cow juice. or loudly rapping guns and ships from hamilton. or waking up at three am to have pillow fights with any type of cushion they can get their hands on.

#they're the best of fucking friends and you can't convince me otherwise #they're in love your honor #they're idiots your honor #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percy and annabeth #annabeth and percy #percabeth #percabeth fluff #percabeth headcanon #percabeth textposts #percy jackson and the olympians #annabeth chase and the olympians

[chr0n1c-ag0ny]

Kunidazai reunion sparking them finally, actually, truly getting together (cause they're idiots who have essentially been and old married couple for years and were the last to notice)? I think yes.

kunikida offering his apartment to Dazai, as his partners was in no shape to be lived in, after all the time that had passed with no upkeep and the time it spent in police custody, being milled through for any potential evidence. there was no way he could let him go back to it, not now, not tonight. Kunikida needs him close tonight.

Dazai takes him up on his offer. he doesn't want to be alone. he won't admit it, but he can't be alone, he doesn't know what it would do to him, what he would do to himself if he was left unattended. so he gratefully, while making jabs and cracking jokes at his partner, follows him home.

their night proceeds as normal, as it had for years of Dazai crashing with him. Kunikida cooks while Dazai sits up on his counter, rambling on and on about anything he can think of. Kunikida never realized how much he missed Dazai's voice until the relief of not cooking in silence hit him.

when they eat Dazai drags his partner to sit on the couch, even though Kunikida hates eating on the couch, knowing he would make an exception for him, just for tonight. they sit too close to just be friends, coworkers, partners even. their arms touch, their knees lean into one another.

when Dazai's finished with his dinner he lays a head in Kunikida's lap, turning on the TV, flipping through all of his partners recorded media until he finds the show they had been watch together, every episode that aired since he was arrested is recorded and unwatched. with blurry eyes he hits play. Kunikida's hand is in his hair and it doesn't leave.

they don't talk, they don't have to, they've talked enough. for now they just want to sit and feel each other's touch and hear each other's breathing. it's all they need.

its nearly 3 in the morning when Dazai finally starts to doze, he'd curled up into a ball, halfway in Kunikida's lap at that point, holding onto one of his partner's hands. Kunikida knows he should get them both to bed, he should offer Dazai the room and take the couch, that he should have the man some space after all he'd been through. but he aches at the thought of leaving his side, at being separated again.

but he doesn't even have to say anything, should have known he never had to, Dazai's always been sharp as a tack, his intuition, almost terrifyingly, even sharper.

His partner turned lazily in his arms, looking up at him with tired but knowing eyes. let's go to bed, they say. you don't have to go, you can stay, they assure. please don't go, they beg.

Kunikida breathes a long, heavy, sigh of relief.

"ok," he answers, before finally getting up after hours laid up on the couch, watching as Dazai continues to doze.

his heart aches with feverish heat. he'd missed him so much he had begun to go mad, had gone mad really, and now his partner was back, he was back and alive and mostly well, and now he was so relieved it ached in its own right.

he went about making up his bed for two, for Dazai, knowing he needed enough pillows and blankets for half a dozen people, but kept stopping to look over the back of the couch to make sure he was still there, still with him, that he hadn't been taken away again. by the time he's done he's probably crossed his apartment two to three dozen times, from his room to the couch again and again, before he's finally decided the room was good enough, there were enough blankets for Dazai to cover himself with and pillows to hide in.

when he goes to Dazai this time around, he kneels in front of him, carding a hand through his hair, tracing a thumb over his brow, to his nose, and then his cheek. his partner's eyes flutter open, a smile graces his lips.

"come on," he whispers, worried too loud a voice would shatter the delicate air of safety and comfort around them, "time for bed."

Dazai hums, getting up with a stretch and a yawn, much like a cat, before gingerly hopping off the couch and into Kunikida's arms, a false smile and air of cheekiness to him, hiding the ache Kunikida knew all too well resided in his partner's heart as much as it did his own, if not more. he holds him for a moment, savoring the feeling of him in his arms, before taking his hand and leading him to their room.

Dazai knows the drill. he goes to the other man's dresser and picks out a pair of his own sweatpants, ones he kept here for nights like these, and as per usual, one of Kunikida's shirts, gliding across the room, out into the hall, and into the bathroom.

Kunikida crawls into bed, feeling like he's been hit by a bus by the days events, and ends up half asleep by the time he feels Dazai crawling into bed next to him.

he expects to see bandages peeking from the borrowed nightshirt, to watch Dazai shield himself from the world, from his partner's touch, with a swarm of blankets, for Dazai to lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling, waiting for him to fall asleep first.

but tonight's different, so different.

Dazai's skin is bare where the shirt doesn't cover, his scars on display, each and every one of them, the burns, the cuts, the bullet wounds, the ones Kunikida has never one been able to decipher the story of. they're all bared to him, with no visible hesitation on Dazai's end.

when his partner climbs into bed he neglects the pile of blankets laid out for him, the pillows too. instead he lifts the comforter that's draped over the entirety of the bed, Kunikida included, sliding beneath it like it's natural to him, like he'd done it every night for months, years even.

he looks at Kunikida for a moment, silently asking for permission, which Kunikida cannot give fast enough, and then Dazai's in his arms, his own wrapped around his neck, nothing between them but the clothes on their backs.

Dazai pulls away, just a bit, Kunikida almost cries out, almost pulls him back in, but knows better. he lets dazai go, but he never leaves. he's moved just far back enough so they could both look each other in the face.

"I missed you," he spoke softly, his hands shifting to hold the blonde's face.

"I missed you too,"

there's a moment of silence.

"I love you." the words are hesitant, skittish even, like he's unsure of how Kunikida would take it.

"I love you too," he replies without a second thought. he loves his partner, he loves him, more than he knows what to do with, so much it drives him mad and makes him ache.

Dazai nods. he's thinking, Kunikida can see it on his face, his mind is going a million miles a second. worry flashes on Dazai's face, and Kunikida panics, goes to pull away, goes to give Dazai space, even if his own skin burns at the thought of parting with Dazai's.

but Dazai doesn't let him, he clings to him, "Don't go, please don't go, please," he begs.

his voice is desperate, so Kunikida doesn't. he watches his partners face twist and turn, watches as fear spreads across his brow and tears gather in his eyes, and he doesn't know what to do because this has never happened.

but than Dazai leans in, slowly, tugging Kunikida closer so they can meet in the middle. Kunikida feels his partners lips on his. he kisses him back. he can't decide if that was a foolish decision or not. It's soft, softer than either of them knew they were capable of, it's gentle and earnest and good.

Dazai stops after a moment, lingers in Kunikida's space before looking him in the eye once more, he doesn't speak, they don't need to. Dazai looks at him, tears running down his face, but he's smiling, he's ok. his thumbs wipe away tears Kunikida hadn't realized he'd shed. they're ok.

"I love you," Dazai mutter's again, speaking again before the other man can answer "Kunikida?"

"yes, Dazai?"

"don't go."

"I won't."

"promise?"

"I promise." its a foolish thing to say, but Dazai needs to hear it, hell, he needs to hear it, "I'm not going anywhere, so long as you promise me the same."

he hesitates, his eyes avoid Kunikida's for a moment, before returning from their shared gaze, "I'll try, I promise, I'll really try this time"

Kunikida nods, slowly moving to kiss Dazai's forehead, the brunette leans into it.

"I know you will," he whispers into Dazai's skin, "and I'll always be here when it's too hard to manage on your own."

there's silence again, but it doesn't feel wrong or heavy, its soft and warm and it feels right.

"I love you," Kunikida finally returns.

there's more silence, Dazai just looks at him, just watches, fingers playing with Kunikida's hair and drifting over his face until something clicks into place in the other man's mind, something nobody but Dazai could ever understand.

he leans in once more to kiss his cheek before he settles against Kunikida's chest, letting out a pleased huff as he curls himself into a ball, "goodnight," he muttered, almost instantly going still with sleep.

"goodnight," Kunikida replied, knowing Dazai wasn't going to hear him, pressing his own goodnight kiss to the top of Dazai's head before burying his face in the other man's hair (Dazai doesn't smell like his shampoo anymore. it makes something in him cringe. he tries and fails to ignore it).

it takes Kunikida a while to fall asleep, he's too busy running the night over and over and over again in his mind. he holds Dazai close and lets his fingers trace over scars, feeling over his too-thin frame, feeling each bone beneath his skin. there's so many thoughts rushing through his mind, to many fears, worries, anxieties, what ifs. what if I hurt him? what if I break him? what if I ruin this?

his thoughts are only stopped when Dazai gently nudges his head into his jaw, hands pulling Kunikida's off of him, holding them gently in his own (he should have known sleep wouldn't come that easy to Dazai).

he takes a deep breath, steadying himself and his mind, his partner's hands squeeze his gently, good, they seem to say, and sleep finally starts to pull at him once more.

he lets it happen, let's his eyes close and his mind go blank, knowing Dazai is safe, he's safe in his arms, he won't be taken away again. he sleeps knowing Dazai loves him, that he kissed him, that tomorrow they'll wake up like this, and maybe, just fucking maybe they can finally have this one happy ending.

#I love when two emotionally constipated men find ways to be indirectly vulnerable and soft with one another. it matters so much to me. #they don't know how to talk about it or what they mean to one another or what they need from the other but they make it work #but after so long of dancing around each other only to be ripped apart for so long something just gives way and for once its in their favor #I hc that Dazai can be quite graceful in a ghostly and/or feline sort of way when he wants to be. he hops to his toes instead of standing- #glides instead of walking. stares into your soul with these big old eyes instead of just look. so thats just sprinkled in here. #on another note. these men are idiots. I said getting together but for christ sake they've been together for years they just never noticed. #I cringed at their stupidity multiple times while writing this. #dazai is scared of loving kunikida. he's scared his love will damn the man he loves. he's scared he'll leave too #but he can only run from his feelings so long #kunikida is scared to love dazai. he's scared he will find a way to break him. that he won't be careful enough. that he'll screw it all up. #they're so fucking messy and I love them your honor #I have so much to say about them #kunikida bsd #kunikida doppo #bsd kunikida #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #dazai bsd #kunikidazai #kunidazai #if you see typo's no you don't

[chaoscheebs]

Seriously, tho', I really want Yugi and Seto to have a "but they were both tops" moment. Like, it's not strictly true they're both tops--they are probably more flexible than that--but they absolutely both have some expectations about who's taking the lead the first time and I just think it'd be pretty funny.

#yugioh #rivalshipping #chibi rambles #seto's expectation: i am tall and imposing of course it's going to be me #yugi's expectation: i actually have some idea of what i'm fucking doing (through either experience or reading) so it's going to be ME #they're both idiots your honor

[nenehyuuchiha]

Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: One Piece Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji, Mugiwara Kaizoku | Strawhat Pirates & Vinsmoke Sanji, Franky/Nico Robin Characters: Roronoa Zoro, Vinsmoke Sanji, Nami (One Piece), Monkey D. Luffy, Tony Tony Chopper, Usopp (One Piece), Brook (One Piece), Jinbei (One Piece), Nico Robin, Franky (One Piece) Additional Tags: sanji loves his crew, they love him back, zoro's still trying to figure this whole love thing out, they're absolute idiots I'm sorry, Slow Burn, will i ever stop changing the title, probably not Summary:

Sanji was trained in the Bridal Arts; this does not go unnoticed by the rest of his crew.

#Zosan #they're fucking crazy #they're idiots your honor #Zoro x Sanji #sanzo

[verfound]

FIC: “We Should Honeymoon in Paris” - 2/4 (MLB; Lukanette)

Notes: Look! A wild Rose has appeared! 👀

Ch 1

Chapter 2

“I am going to fucking murder you.”

The words hung in the air like a late summer storm, that moment where everything was too heavy and thick right before it all burst.  She blinked, that manic smile stretching her face too wide.  Luka grit his teeth and kept his eyes on her.  He reached for the coffee, and despite his better judgment - despite knowing how hot it still was - he knocked it back in one go.  It only burned a little going down, but he figured he deserved that much.  If anything, it would fortify him for whatever hell Rose was about to send his way.

…whatever hell he had sent his own way, he amended as he thought of the way Marinette wouldn’t look at him.  The cagey way she had inquired about last night before fleeing the flat.  The way it had felt like she couldn’t get away from him fast enough.

Whatever Rose was about to yell at him, he figured he deserved it.

#miraculous ladybug #luka couffaine #juleka couffaine #rose lavillant #lukanette #endgame lukanette #lukanette endgame #ml fic #ver fic #honeymoon in paris #they're idiots your honor #luka couffaine is a fucking idiot #go get him rose #manic pixie sister in law

[korra-northeast-germany]

Mammon headcanons :)

A/N: celestial prince!Mammon + crow!Mammon and incubus!mammon are included. Btw all the Mammon's are dating their versions of diavolo, Barbatos, Mephistopheles, and solomon

Mammon

He pulls pranks on people whenever the opportunity is given

He copes with his trauma, stress, depression, anxiety, and other negative feelings by age regressing. His little age is 5 - 10.(back off u perverts)

Ha has ADHD(just like me frfr)

His favourite brother used to be Satan but after he became like the others he decided 'no' and no longer has a favourite.

He is the most motherly out of the 7 brothers, even mothering Lucifer at points.

He forgets mc exists

He's Luke's favourite demon.

My guy is trans and uses he/raven/tweet/pup pronouns (Tho he is preferred. These also apply to the other mammons)

My guys got titties and thighs that epically end lives

Bottom

Prince!Mammon

He is always has been and always will be ammerie's(god's) favourite son

Is titties are extra powerful 😘😘😘😘

Likes to be called prince when with the other Mammon's

Gets into fights with Lucifer and wins

His mother mode is extra powerful especially around luke

Micheal is his favourite brother

When his greed acts up, it acts up BAD. To the point he'll go on several stealing sprees than the others, then blank out for 2 weeks before coming back to his senses and having a breakdown

His sin and virtue are constantly at war with eachother. Luckily his virtue wins most of the time.

Often sleeps with a stuffed crow

Ponders the meaning of life a lil too much

He sometimes sleeps in either Ammerie or Michael's bed after a nightmare

Mainly lives in the celestial realm

Crow!Mammon

Is the villain!version of prince!Mammon

His brothers led him to his death and he hates 5 of them with a burning passion

Levi is his favourite brother but he has trouble trusting him

Is soul bound to Michal(lilith)

My guy gets a new crow every time he kills someone wether it be a human angel or demon. Of you die by his hand ur his crow child now

He hates Lucifer with a burning passion

Was dead for like 700 years got revived then ended up killing mc on accident

Happily embraces his stealing like no tomorrow and gets away with it

Planning to kill his brothers 😍

My guy owns every crow raven and magpie in all 3 realms and Any other universes that exist. Basically the bird god of u will

His crows do not allow him to get sleep so he's tired 24/7

His thighs are so juicy my god he can easily crush u with them 😍😍😍

Good at that glock glock 9000

Incubus!Mammon

He is the 5th born instead of Asmo and is also the avatar of lust

He's the most horny mammon there is.

Used to be a porn star

Barbatos, diavolo, and Mephistopheles are his sugar daddies 😍😍😍😘😘😘

Often sneaks out at night to see one of his bfs because Lucifer and the others are too protective

His titties and thighs basically out do the other Mammon's 10 fold

Constantly goes running to diavolo when he wants to get his way after Lucifer grounds him

Litterally isn't allowed to leave the home without one of he brothers to accompany him

Are you an asshole to him? Cool he just fucked you, your mom, you dad, your girlfriend, your boyfriend. Basically he's a who-

Actually loves to cuddle and shows his love through touch, his very blatant when it comes to public displays of affection both platonic and romantic

Still kicks people's ass 😍

Uses his charms to get whatever he wants

Better than asmo 😍😍😍😍😍

A/n: some of these are jokes, guess which ones 🙂

#obey me mammon #om! mammon #the great mammon #obey me #fuck lucifer #l lucifer #barbatos x mammon #mammon centric #om! diavolo #mammon x diavolo #diavolo x mammon #mammon x barbatos #obey me mephistopheles #mephistopheles x mammon #diamon #barbmon #mephimam #they're idiots your honor #they're gay your honor #bottom mammon #mammon x solomon

[off-brand-afterfire]

My Percy Jackson head cannons:

-The Burning Maze spoilers-

Annabeth and Percy are switches, it depends on their mood.

Hazel is asexual.

Frank respects that.

Leo absolutely listens to classical music while he's working, but he will change the music channel to like pop or rock or something if someone walks in. Nobody may know.

Hazel knows.

Percy, Leo, Annabeth, and Piper absolutely have the Wii Sports theme stuck in their heads at all times.

Piper is definitely a she/they.

If Percy wasn't in his very comfortable relationship with Annabeth, he'd have made a pack with Jason (and then Piper after he oofed) that if they weren't married by the time they were 30 they would get married, platonically ofc.

Piper has a slight crush on Annabeth but will absolutely deny it until the end of time.

People see Frank and automatically assume he shouldn't be messed with, but he is absolutely a people pleaser. Hazel is the one who shouldn't be messed with.

Frank likes to surprise Hazel with flowers at least once a week.

His love language is gift giving/acts of loves.

Hazel's is personal touch.

Jason's near-sightednsss is from the amount of head thonks he got on the quests.

Reyna still has a slight grudge on Percy and Annabeth for Circe's Island that even she doesn't know.

Leo eventually grows out his hair so he can wear it in a ponytail and gets an undercut.

#pjo fandom #the heroes of olympus #rick riordan #percy jackson #trials of apollo #headcannons #pjo headcanon #percy jackon and the olympians #they're idiots your honor #but they're my idiots #i love them #so much #fucking dorks #yeet #yolo #probably what Jason said before he died #uh anyway

[tiredassmage]

wip wednesday

Ough @kemendin tagged me two weeks ago now??? So thank you for the reminder & tag @pentacass! The end of the semester is so close, I’m almost free to go back to blorbo hours full time.

No pressure as always, but if y’all would like, tags for @captainderyn @jbnonsensework @sullustangin @commander-krios (your boy’s here!!!) and ofc anyone else who’d like to share, feel free to say I booped you!

Let’s release more Dash & Leo content upon the masses!!! From the time Leo decided to try to move out on his own because he worried about his dumbass decisions affecting his best friend’s career prospects. (And is, predictably, dense as hell that Dash cares anyway.)

x-x-x-x-x-x

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“You don’t…” Leo waved a hand with a huff. “It’s… I’m not good for you right now, Dash.” His shoulders sagged. “Look, I just… I’ve got a lot going on, just… stupid work shit and-”

“Why won’t you let me help?”

Finally, Leo looked over his shoulder at him. He looked like shit. Like he’d been sleeping even less than usual, which really wasn’t a whole lot to begin with. And despite whatever he might’ve liked to believe, he was shit at hiding it. And Dash had seen that hollow look in his eyes in enough other places already to pin a guess or two as to where it might’ve started from.

A defeated, quiet sigh slipped out of him slowly. “Because you’ve done… enough,” he said. “And you’ve got… a lot more figured out than I do. I can’t let you… I can’t be the reason that gets fucked up for you, alright?”

“I thought we talked about this,” Dash said quietly.

“I know, I know,” Leo muttered. He rubbed at his eyes as he slumped against the desk again. “But I can’t be a burden, Dash. And I can’t-”

“You’re not.”

“Dash,” Leo groaned. “Please? Just… Who the hell else just…” It was just… insane the level of risk it’d all been from the start. To drag him all the way to Coruscant? He’d been out of his damn mind then. “I appreciate it, I do, okay? I’m not saying… I just.” He scrubbed a hand over the side of his face. “I’m tangled in some shit, Dash. And it’s my mess. There’d be enough hell if anyone ever figured out how we even fell in together and this won’t help. I can’t… I can’t do that to you. Okay?”

Dash sighed, reaching to pinch the bridge of his nose carefully. “You aren’t,” he tried again. “I’m going to worry anyway because you’re my friend, Leo.”

“I’m not asking for help-”

“Of course you’re not,” he huffed.

“I’m asking you to be a little bit more selfish for once, damn it!” Leo snapped. “I don’t know how else to spell this out for you.”

“You can’t because it’s not going to work,” Dash countered as he stood. “I want to help, okay? I’m not just going to sit here and watch you back yourself further into a corner. When’s your rent up?”

“Dash.”

“We had a perfectly functional arrangement at my place. There is no sense in adding more to your plate when you’re already stressed.”

“Dash.” Leo sighed. He received only the same steady stare.

Guess that made two stubborn bastards of them, didn’t it?

He shook his head before his shoulders sagged in defeat. “Look, I’ve got a job comin’ up they want me to do that’s gonna take me off-world for a few weeks, at least. Let me… take care of that and… I should probably lay low a while after. They’re used to a turnover rate down here. I’m guessing it won’t cause any problems.”

“Good,” Dash said with a nod. “Because you look like shit. You need some sleep.”

He grunted with a half-hearted attempt at a dismissive shrugged shoulder. “I’ll… manage.”

“Where are you staying tonight?”

Leo frowned slightly as he considered Dash’s raised brow and patient stare. It’d been maybe a year or two and he still hadn’t quite puzzled out the why of it all. But…

He scuffed a foot against the floor. “Maybe uh… I could come back over for a night or two..? I’ve got some time before they’ll need me for my job.”

The smile that started across Dash’s lips was the warmest thing he’d seen in weeks. “And I’m not due to deploy again for another week or so.”

“Great, uhm… I’ll just.. Grab a few things then,” Leo agreed with a nod. “Just uh… stay put?”

“Alright.” Dash nodded, that warm smile settled further across his lips. “Don’t keep me waiting too long.”

#wip wednesday #dot words #swtor fanfiction #swtor fanfic #ch: leo ashold #ch: dash felaeon #friends' ocs #dash felaeon x leo ashold #swtor smuggler #swtor trooper #they're idiots your honor but leo. leo for fuck's sake

[teatitty]

Consider: WatsHolmes pining because they think the other one is 100% not interested in dudes and even though they regularly go to The Invert Places in Soho and the turkish baths and such they’re always like “clearly my best friend is just doing this as a show of support and solidarity for me. There is definitely no other reason for him to be here”

Meanwhile everyone who works at those restaurants and baths and opera places are like “oh hey it’s Mr Holmes and Dr Watson they’ve been together for over a decade it’s so nice seeing them again”

#watsholmes #they're both fucking idiots your honor #mrs hudson a real one for dealing with their pining for so long honestly

[izzy-b-hands]

"Good morning!" Stede called, muffled. "How are my boys?"

The answer was snuggled essentially on top of and all over him, both Ed and Izzy snoring lightly.

"Probably should get up for the day," he murmured, and attempted to yank an arm out from under Ed and Izzy.

"Ah," Stede said. "Ed love, could you, oh-"

Instead of freeing Stede up to move, Ed snuggled in closer, an arm flopping over him.

"Okay then, you stay sleeping," Stede smiled and pressed a kiss to Ed's arm. "Izzy! Good morning! You're usually up by now."

Izzy opened his eyes blearily, only to yawn, readjust, and promptly smash part of his face into Stede's chest.

"Oh come on now," Stede joked. "You both know the routine. Izzy up, then me, then..."

Not so much as a wiggle. They were cozy, and not interested in moving. And warm. Very warm, normally a nice thing but-

"Lucius!" Stede hissed when Lucius walked in. "Could I bother you for help?"

"I don't know why you ask every time when you're going to have me help anyway," Lucius sighed. "You sure you want out? Looks like a good place to be."

Stede nodded. "I would stay put, but certain parts of the morning routine are calling...

"Oh!" Lucius nodded. "Okay, hang on."

He set aside his pen and the new captains' diary. "Hey Ed! Morning! Could I just-"

Lucius tried to gently move the arm over Stede, only for Ed to scoot closer, more of him on Stede than on the mattress.

"Izzy had his eyes open for a moment," Stede noted. "Might be easier."

"Izzy," Lucius said softly, sweetly. "I set the ship on fire. Whoops."

Izzy's eyes flew open, and he was up and out immediately.

Sort of.

Ed groaned as Izzy climbed over him in a panic, only for Izzy to catch his foot in the much tangled multiple blankets. He landed face first in Lucius' arms, his front half held up by Lucius and his bad foot no less stuck in the blankets.

"I feel like we need more help," Stede frowned. "Maybe just more force. Ed, I need you to get up. Now!"

Ed's head popped up, and he shrugged and rolled himself out of the bed and onto the floor. There, he tried and failed to yank down a blanket to snuggle with as he went back to sleep.

"Okay, I'm going to get some feeling back in my legs," Stede said, swinging himself out of bed, avoiding stepping on Ed and smacking into the still-suspended Izzy. "Be back in a moment!"

He stepped into the bathroom, content they would be fine now. Ed was technically up, and Izzy certainly was. A success all around!

--

"My foot hurts," Izzy mumbled. "Just let me fall so I can get out of this mess."

"I sort of knew he wasn't going to stay to help," Lucius sighed. "But I had hoped."

"Ed could help," Izzy offered.

"Ed is sleeping again," Lucius said, and proved his point by gently kicking Ed's bare ass. Ed sighed in his sleep, but that was it.

"Olu should be by soon," Izzy said. "Right? Or you really could let me drop to the floor here-"

"Are you sure?"

"-I mean how badly can it hurt, and it's for a moment-"

"Okay, but remember Izzy, you asked me for this!"

There was a thunk, then a mangled hiss of pain as Izzy's tangled foot did not come with him.

Lucius' eyes went wide. "Okay. We maybe hurt your bad foot more. Well, more like bad foot and bad ankle now, I think."

There was a pause, then a tiny: "Please get Roach."

Lucius rushed out, leaving Izzy half out of bed, ankle sitting horribly wrong and swelling. His hips were angled over Ed, and there was a brief moment of regret at not putting on something before bed.

Ed turned, eyes half opened, and yawned. "First thing in the morning? Alright, but you don't have to dangle it in my face, Iz. Just ask, honestly."

It was a unique sensation. Incredible pain from his ankle, a sense of blood rushing to his head from the angle he was at, then a pulse of pleasure as Ed sat up enough to start sucking his cock.

He couldn't wait for Stede to walk back in. Mostly for his ankle, a lot for his ankle actually, but also so he could admire the work Ed was doing to distract from that.

#text post #steddyhands #they're idiots your honor but i love them #in Stede's defense that first moment of getting up is usually the body being like ahhh bathroom and or water NOW #so like yeah he's being a bitch by leaving them like that but he's being a bitch with purpose and reason #also idk how badly that would fuck up an ankle in general im going off the time i fell like that and fucked an ankle up #didn't even get my cock sucked either during that so izzy has no idea how good he has it #ofmd scenelet

[yakny]

they are in my heart always ( ☆ ´⌓` ☆ )ブ♥

#wips #colored explorations‚ studies‚ and experiments #LN #THE FIRES ARE REACHING US #the north siblings #louie #agata #i know them being siblings is still my au but the way they interact in the actual game makes me fucking lose it. they're HILARIOUS 😭😭😭: #agata: *rallying the people into her Allied Army and giving a grim BUT emotional speech about protecting Harrod City until her last breath* #louie: *popping out from her crowd seemingly ''out of nowhere''‚ in a room i imagine is not so big* I HAVE A QUESTION. #agata‚ somehow still taken aback and surprised at seeing him: LOUIE?!?!?! why are YOU here? #louie: heard news about an alliance and wanted to join but before me and my comrades join you: . . . #how are you planning to treat the north kingdom's monarchy and the inactions of its current king? #agata: if the monarchy‚ who's supposed to protect its people‚ DOESN'T protect its people then FUCK THE MONARCHY! WE DO THE PROTECTING NOW! #louie‚ walking to stand by her: say no more‚ I'M IN. *turning to the alliance* EVERYONE! We can no longer trust the monarchy! #ASHDFJGKHLLADJSF!!! #who's doing it like them in this game??? WHO 😭😭😭?!?! also: what was he going to do if agata decided to still listen to the king‚ LEAVE???! #BOY‚ IF YOU DONT STOP OCCULTING VITAL INFORMATION FROM THE PUBLIC MASSES—! ashdfjgj #The LN game peaked with the absurdity of their characters. they're idiots‚ your honor... please let me dissect them 🫰🥺 #(sorry. i have so many thoughts about them. this story hasn't even arrived to the english server. i got it from the chinese wiki. #because i doubt we will ever get agata's lifetime suit and at this point im tired of waiting 😔)

[aibou-ftw]

Recovery (6/14) - Rehab: Restraint

Fandom: Homestuck Pairing: John/Dave

Unable to think properly, you grasp at his shirt.  Even though fuck this feels so fucking good, you have to retain your self-control.

Just remember, John: Dave’s not interested in sex with you.

The last thing you want to do is pressure him into doing something he’s uncomfortable with.  So you’ll let him set the pace.  Let him kiss you to his heart’s content (not yours, though; that would just lead into said uncomfortable stuff).

#homestuck #johndave #pepsicola #hammertime #john egbert #dave strider #davejohn #Journeystuck #I just have to say #poor John #and also he's a real fucking idiot #actually they're both idiots your honor #fuck this chapter really made me lol #and then feel sad #because apparently I love to dole out emotional whiplashes like that #sorry not sorry lmao #aiboufics

[goregrishdotcom]

Finished the main route of Hashihime. I am a minatama lover first and a minatamakawa shipper second

#oooooo they're so in love your honor #the doom i felt when minakami got the hashihime tho. insane but im glad i want them to be domestic in the countryside. bc i love them #want them to be idiots. want to romanticize the fuck out of country living

[verfound]

MINIFIC: Oct. 23: Day 17: Garden (MLB, Lukanette, DLM AU)

For @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers October Minific Challenge 2023.

Read on Ao3

To Feel Alive Again: Ch17: Garden

Luka had been right: it was a nice day for a ride.  Still, Marinette had been surprised when he led her outside to where his motorbike was parked.  She hadn’t even known he owned a bike, but really this was the first time she’d known any of them to go on a reap that wasn’t…well, immediately within the city.  Most places they needed to go could be reached by walking or taking the metro.

She’d had a scooter, when she was alive.  Her Nonna had gotten it for her for her sixteenth birthday, and she had kept it in pristine condition.  It wasn’t quite the same as riding on the back of her Nonna’s bike, but for Marinette’s purposes – getting around in the city – it had been perfect.

Riding with Luka had felt like riding with her Nonna again, except she had never found herself pressing closer to her Nonna’s back, or tucking her face against the back of her neck to sniff at her hair, or…

Marinette was starting to think she might be developing a little crush.

…when he took a bend too fast, tipping the bike too close to the pavement for her comfort, and she screamed and clung to him even tighter and he just laughed…she realized she definitely had developed a crush.

And it wasn’t exactly little.

“You ok?” he asked, still chuckling as he pulled into a parking space at the gardens.  He pulled his helmet off and looked back at her, and her breath caught in her throat as she saw the way he was grinning at her.  “Didn’t scare you too bad, did I?”

“…you’re a madman, Luka,” she said, tightening her arms around his waist.  His smile softened, and her heart stuttered in her chest when he dropped a hand to rest over hers.  His thumb slipped under the sleeve of her coat to brush against her wrist absently.

“Couffaine,” he said, as if that should explain everything.  Thinking back on some of Juleka’s stories about her family, she supposed it did.  He squeezed her hand and turned back to the gardens, nodding as he checked the clock on the tower above the entrance.  “We’ve got about half an hour before K. Truscott is supposed to go.  Let me try to find him, and then the rest of the day is yours.  Your reap was for this morning, right?  So we don’t need to head back right away?”

“…yeah,” she said.  He looked back over his shoulder and smiled at her, tapping a finger against her hands.

“So…shall we go?  Or did I scare you so bad your legs forgot how to work?” he teased.  She sucked in a breath – she definitely did not squeak – and scrambled off the bike, spluttering apologies as she tried to remove the helmet.  It felt stuck, though, and the more she fought with it the worse it got.  She stopped when she felt his hands batting hers away, his warm chuckle making her face burn.  “Easy, easy.”  When the helmet was off and she could see him without the visor, his smile softened.  “Better?”

“We…we should go find Truscott,” she said, swallowing thickly.  “That…that fucker’s not gonna reap himself, right?”

He was laughing again as he reached for her hand, nodding as he lead her away from the bike and towards the gardens.

It was maybe a little too late when Marinette realized, listening to his laugh and wondering at how his hand felt in hers, that she might be in trouble.

#miraculous ladybug #luka couffaine #marinette dupain-cheng #lukanette #endgame lukanette #lukanette endgame #ml fic #ver fic #lbsc october minifics 2023 #dead like me au #dlm lukanette au #to feel alive again #dun dun duuuuuuunl #who fell first who fell harder #luka: i'm fucked #mari: i might be in trouble #they're idiots your honor