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patrophthia · 1 year

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show me how | tom riddle

pairing: tom riddle x reader

genre: fluff? angst? unrequited crushes but not really, love confessions, first kiss, complicated feelings???

wc: 1.2k

originally posted on AO3: 23/02/2023

You like Tom Riddle. Like like like. Like fancy him like. You knew that. And you think he knows it too.

It's not like you actively tried to hide it, if he knew about it then that's that. If he doesn't then that's another path that readily available for you to take.

"Hmm?" You hummed, Tom had called for your attention earlier but you weren't exactly focused on what he was saying. Your eyes met his, now wide and curious as to what he had to say. "What is it?"

"Are you okay?" He asks.

And the words sound so foreign coming from between his lips that you thought for a split second that you weren't speaking to Tom himself.

"Yeah," you murmur softly, nodding as he process the words in as a clear lie. If Tom had been a more expressive person, he'd be frowning, but he wasn't, so instead he settled on pursing his lips. "Don't worry about it."

Tom was conceived under a love potion. He can't love. And one would think that that was enough of a reason to not have feelings for the guy but you were stupid enough to do it nonetheless.

"You're lying," he states, his brows furrowed the slightest bit. "Why are you lying?"

"It's nothi—" You stop, tearing your eyes away from his to stare down at your hands. And after a second, you huff, looking back at him once more. "—Do you think that you could grow to love someone?"

And that was when it clicked into place for Tom. You, the only person he was able to tolerate and or considers as his only friend, fancied him.

He thinks for a bit, mulling the idea over and over. Tom is used to the act by now, he would get confessed to then he would promptly turn it down because, quite frankly, he doesn't give a shit what others think of him.

But with you. He doesn't know what to do with you.

"I think you should get something to eat," he says instead, another action that was so foreign of him to do. "Come on."

Tom was never one to avoid confrontation in any shape or form and always made sure that the person who confessed to him knew their place. But you were his friend, and he doesn't know how to tell you where you were placed on the list of things that occupied his mind.

Tom stands up awkwardly by the library's table, a place you've been frequenting with him lately. And watched as you made no move in gathering your things.

"Have you ever loved anything?" You ask him quietly, grateful that you've found the table furthest from any possible commotion.

Tom says your name sternly. You knew he didn't like to talk about this topic, a wall having been put up and never once crossed during the years of friendship in which you've known him. "I think we should go."

"And I think you should tell me that you can't love me back," you counter. "Just so I could move on."

Tom stays silent, his head going dizzy at the look on your face, staring up at him from your seat with your pupil blown wide with admiration. You not only liked him. You loved him.

"I'm not going to care for you any less when you tell me no," you say to him. Tom reaches over and grabs at your things, packing it as he quietly listens to you. "You're still my friend."

Friends. His stomach drops at the words. He doesn't want to be your friend. He doesn't know what he wants, he just knows that he didn't want to be just that. But he will not give you false hope by lying to you. So he tells you, like you've asked of him: "I can't love you."

It takes you two beats before you smile at him, finally putting away your things, your own hand brushing against his cold ones as you stuffed your supplies into your bag. Tom considers for a second if he should hold it for you. You know, as an apologetic gift.

But he decides not to, and watches as the straps drapes over your shoulder, digging into your skin uncomfortably.

"You know," you start as you walked out the library besides him. "I don't think I've ever seen you smile."

Tom steps slows, matching with your own and with knitted brows he asks. "What do you mean?"

"I can't remember how you smile," you say with a small smile of your own. "Show me how, will you?"

Tom blinks. He thinks back to his life in the orphanage, to the basilisk under the chamber, Moaning Myrtle, the things he did to Hagrid, everything he has done so far that you've had zero clue of and feels to guilty too lift the corner of his lips up. He just can't do it.

"If you can't show me how you love, Tom," you say. "Then the least you could do was show me how you smile."

He doesn't say anything, just watching you as your eyes flickered between his lips and any of his other features. You were shorter than him, and he thinks he likes it this way.

He thinks of you, how you look at him, how you speak to him, how you've dreamt up visions of who he'd never be, and how he —for the first time ever in his life, feel the love you have for him. And how when he does smiles, a small sigh slips out of him.

You notice then the corner of his lips curving upwards, the small squint of his eyes, the scrunch on his high nose bridge, and the dip of dimples in his cheeks, poking through clearer than ever before. Your thoughts err away, and you let your heart fall in love with Tom again.

You smile back, reciprocating his and somehow his only grew. A blissful glint reaching his eyes, as he mirrored you. You tilt your head to the side, only realising now that you two came to halt, and signalled for him to follow after you. "Let's go."

You didn't get far, cold hand wrapping around your wrist and held you in place. You look back at him with a questioning look and you could see Tom contemplate with himself.

"I'm going to kiss you."

"What?"

Tom didn't repeat himself, his lips pressing onto yours with his free hand gently cupping your face, the coldness melting into the heat of your flushed cheeks. Cold. Cold. Cold. You kissed him back, letting yourself enjoy this moment while it lasted with an ache in your heart. Tom pulls away, hand still cupping your face as his thumb slides down to your chin and lifts it up so you would look at him.

"I want to learn to love you," he says slowly. "Please."

A smile etched its way onto your lips, and it doesn't go unnoticed by Tom since he has to physically restrain himself from kissing you again and again. Tom awaited for your words, and as he thinks that he'll finally get an answer to his semi-love confession.

You ask him instead, "why are your hands so cold?"

—from bee: writing my favorite slytherin to my favorite song, may be OOC tom but who caresssssss,, i love him for ittt.

#tom riddle fluff #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle angst #tom riddle fic #tom riddle fanfiction #tom riddle x oc #tom riddle x yn #tom riddle x you #tom riddle x hufflepuff!reader #tom riddle is cute when he’s nothing like canon ver of him #Spotify #🧳: my writing

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pkaykim · 1 year

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Oofurixmas2022 for @meela-31

#oofuri #oofurixmas2022 #IVE REPOSTED THIS SO MANY TIMES IM SORRY #meela-31 #ren mihashi #abemiha #abe takaya #I hope u like it.. 😵😵😵😵#anyway… chill air… being 1 on 1 together outside of school… always so strange and intimate #abe is saying like hey youre blocking the walkway.. or smth… hes so cheeky #im imagining a fic in my mind #like. do you guys get me. mihashi is sitting on the stoop while abe is checking out and hes eating his sandwich #its probably a stupid late time and its quiet and empty and his hands and face are chilly and #and hes about to take a bite and then the door opens and he feels a bag get dropped on his head and its like… a point of contact and its #silly and mundane but its affection idk. ans then abe tells him to move. ugh. love is love #ITS LIKE A SMALL THING THATS LIKE… WE’RE FRIENDS.. you like me.. and it feels goos #THATS ALL #anyway thats why i chose this ver over the one w tajima it got that feeling better. anyway

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stargirl-writes · 6 months

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through your eyes

pairing : librarian! reader x artist! anakin skywalker

word count : 2.7k

masterlist | ao3 link

summary

you'd find every book there is in search of a world you can get lost in. you thought you weren't really special enough to pursue an adventure for yourself. when one day, you notice a certain jedi spend a lot of time in your quiet library. strange— how he'd choose to sit in solitude when he can be pursuing a more colorful life outside, even stranger, is how he shows you a portrait he drew of you.

tags : fluff, romance, comfort, maybe a bit of angst(?), but it's a happy fic i promise!

warnings : none(!)

notes : hello angels! i REALLY needed to write a lover-boy-anakin for my sanity and this came to me because of this blog and watching 'the portrait of a lady on fire' because i just love how artists love. so if you're in for a tooth-aching soft fluffy ani fic, i gotchu!

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated!

There is nothing more magical than the worlds you escape in reading for hours.

You can become an adventurer, seeking a great legend, or a fighter, ready to give your life for a cause, or a witch, enchanting villages to heal, or something useful, like a staple gun, or in love.

It would always take you away from the realities of your world. A galactic war, you grieve at night for; because you're you. And you're only the librarian in the capital city of Coruscant.

Besides, there's the Jedi Order and the Republic to fight the war. All there's left for you is to wait, and cry silently, and try to live despite it all.

You close the book you were holding, it was the last installation of the novel you were following. Towards the end, the female lead finally achieved her life's purpose— a happy ending.

It left you feeling empty, jealous even. Because she got to live a life worth hurting for— a sweet fervor. At least her suffering is met by an ending she deserves.

With a sigh, you got up and placed the book neatly on the bookshelf. The library was quiet, like it usually is. No one seems to take interest in thousands of stories waiting to be unravelled.

Maybe, they're actually living a life worth telling a story for. And you're here, stuck, looking for anything to take you off your own reality.

You heard a chair creak from a distance. You perk your head up, trying to find the source of the sound.

A lone man sat, holding what looked like a book in his hand. He was wearing robes you could recognize were of the Jedi's. Strange, a Jedi reading, even stranger, he was holding something, a pencil or a pen, and he was writing down in his book.

As the librarian, you wanted to come up and ask him if there was anything you could help him with. Half-hoping to hear what type of books he was interested in. But his eyes were focused and intent, like he was really immersed, and you thought it best not to disturb him.

So you left him to his business. It was already late, and your energy is already depleted from finishing your book.

The following days were identical. Arranging books, cleaning shelves, helping a few readers find their books.

The Jedi you once saw that night became ever-more present. You wanted to ask what he was reading, must be something good if he's willing to sit down and go through it rather than pursue colorful adventures as a Jedi.

You were finishing the inventory one night when you curiously peeked over the Jedi. His eyes caught yours and you looked away, embarrassed to have been so shamefully staring.

But then, your curiosity overcomes your embarrassment, so you walk up the Jedi.

"I can't help but notice you come here often" You began, trying your best to conceal your excitement. You wanted to know what he was reading, you needed some place to take your mind off.

"Oh?" He looks up, closing his book.

The cover didn't have a title, and you frowned at the let down.

"Well, I've never seen a Jedi actively want to read before" You commented, earning a chuckle from him.

"May I ask what you're reading?" You blurt out.

You could feel his gaze land on you and you suddenly feel conscious of being subjected to his attention.

He shakes his head with a lighthearted smile, and tucks his book to his robes.

"No, I'm sorry, It's not a book" He answers.

Seeming to read the visible disappointment in your face, he brings the book on the table again.

"Then what is it?"

"I draw, sometimes" He answers, handing you his journal, you turn the page revealing his sketch of the architecture of the library, it was elaborate, sharp lines that capture the symmetry of the columns, darker shades where there is no light.

Your eyes land on another sketch, a mech-droid. He even has a deconstructed version beside it like he had been studying how to operate it.

You turn another page, and you recognize a woman, Madame Jocasta, the librarian for the Jedi Library.

"These are really well done." You commented. "Are you a mechanic?" You asked, finding another elaborate deconstruction of a lightsaber.

"Yeah, you can say" He answers with a smile. "But I'm a Jedi knight, I'm only drawing what interests me"

"Why come to the library then?" You asked, turning to the last few pages, and to your surprise, you saw a sketch of the night you finished a novel you were reading.

Your cheeks were painted scarlet— following the lines he used to capture your visible dismay. You look up, stuck between being flattered and feeling embarassed.

"I meant to give you that" He scratches the back of his head.

You shake your head, deciding it was an innocent act to observe and draw what he sees. "Well, you got my nose wrong" You tease.

He chuckles, as if he's relieved by your positive reaction.

You dared turn another page and find another portrait of you, you recognize that it had been the day when you were explaining the metaphor used in your favorite classical tale of a boy who's got too much in his ego, it ended up being his downfall.

The Jedi didn't fail to capture the Twilek's reaction to your rambling and you laughed at the picture.

"I think she just wasn't ready to hear the tale of a boy who got too close to the sun" You explained the reason for the Twilek's expression on the portrait.

"I don't understand why it'd be a tragedy, Icarus was smiling when he fell" The Jedi speaks, and your heart skips a beat. He knows the story, you fought the excitement to urge him to expand on his thought.

"You know the story?"

"Ah, my mother used to tell me a lot" He answers. "She told me that he knew exactly what it'd mean if he went too far"

"And you think he was happy when he fell?" You inquired, curious by his optimistic view.

"I think he finally achieved his life's purpose" His lips curl to a smile.

For a moment, you held your breath, perplexed by how he interpreted such a tragic end.

You caught him looking, and you stripped your gaze away, closing his journal and handing it back to him.

You hoped that you've not made him feel embarrassed to not want to come again. The way he gave a fresh view on your favorite tale made you want to hear what he has to say.

"Well, if you're interested in drawing, I'm always here" You invited.

His eyebrows flash. "In that case, I swear I'll never bore the way that Twilek did. You can tell me all the stories you can"

Your heart skips and you can't help but smile at the thought.

"My name's Anakin"

"[Name]"

Anakin became more apparent to your life.

With your permission, he finally was able to study you, his eyes would narrow in focus, trying to replicate what he sees and how he sees you using a pencil, and you, reading stories and tales out loud.

In the beginning, you felt squirmish. He was really intent on looking at you, seeing you. No one else has quite looked at you the way he does. and you felt like every insecurity of yours was brought up front.

It felt like undressing; you thought, if he sees too closely, and unmasks you, will there be anything underneath? You felt like you were too mundane for him to look at you the way he does.

"And towards the end, she'd settle for a quiet life. She'd have lain on the ground he'd walk on, and this was a life she could see herself in" You finished the tale.

Anakin's eyebrows furrowed, showing dislike for the ending. "That can't be her end" He states his opinion.

You put down the book, happy that he was thinking the same as you. "Why do you say?" You encouraged him to speak more.

He doesn't stop looking up and down from you to his sketch. "She was an traveller, she wanted to sail" He recalled the synopsis.

"She was in love, it made her have different priorities" You considered the point the author made.

His hand halts, and his eyes land on yours. "If he truly loved her, he would have allowed her to become a fully realized person. He'd not have asked her to extinguish her fire" He looks up, as if in thought. "If he loved her, being near her fire would have been enough"

You smiled, surprised to learn that Anakin had been such a romantic.

"Well, what do I know, I've never been in love" You shrugged.

You look up to find Anakin's expression soften. You wondered what he was thinking of in this very moment.

"It's done" He says after a while.

He shows the portrait, and immediately, you see how unkept your hair looked. Then, how he deliberately emphasizes the creases of your cheeks when you smile and how he erased a portion in your eyes to make them appear as though it twinkled with light.

"You don't like it?" He says after noting your reaction.

"No, no, it's lovely" You answered. Though, you felt like it was too pretty, too idealized. Perhaps, he was seeing you in a manner you can't, for better or for worse, you don't know.

He nods, you can see his reluctance to ask what you thought, then you mentally slapped yourself for forgetting he can sense, and he definitely got what you'd been feeling.

The following afternoons went like that. You freely speaking your mind and him carefully sketching, listening.

For the first time, you don't feel like there is a need to escape your world anymore. You wake up, filled with stories you wanted to tell Anakin. Your heart would skip every time you hear the bells of the library door ring. Or when you'd catch Anakin so deep in focus, as if he was committing you to memory, and over time, his sketches of you became more honest, he'd sketch your insecurities with charming strokes, and you don't feel as though you have to hide them around him. He looks at you and sees art. It felt like the most comforting thing.

"But that was the test, he needed to trust that she'll walk behind him, he has to decide that it would be enough" You challenged his view one time you finished reading a tale of two lovers, Orpheus and Eurydice.

He has finished drawing and put down his journal to engage with your opinions.

"Can you really blame him? The Gods were playing with his doubts" He defends.

"Right, he did walk to hell for her" You considered.

"But isn't that what makes it so tragic— they could have made it out, they were so close" You grieved, because despite knowing the ending, you still hope that somehow, they'd find a way to crawl out of hell. Enduring love like that earns an ending that is deserved.

"Orpheus was only a man. He chose to look at her, one more time. He knew if he did, he'd lose her. And he did. It's a choice not of a lover, but of a poet" He concludes, and you thaw.

You'd still find yourself mesmerized by his mind. The way he sees things, the gentleness that comes, not because of the absence of violence, he knows too much of it in the war, but because despite the abundance, he remains tender.

You don't know when you started falling in love with Anakin. You only know that he'd be the story that'll last for your lifetime.

Anakin hands you the portrait. And you smiled at the expression he chose to immortalize. One of when you're almost brought to tears narrating how Eurydice was always behind Orpheus despite him never hearing her.

"I wish I looked this pretty when I cry" You commented, tracing over the lines of his sketch of you.

You felt Anakin tuck a loose strand of hair to your ear. He was looking at you with the same focus, the same wonder, same fascination.

You've grown so used to his gaze, it felt like you were communicating something that can't be expressed into words.

"If you see yourself the way I do now, you'd never doubt my sketches" He softly speaks.

"You're beautiful"

His words latched to your heart.

Anakin is the most dream-like of all; sometimes he feels like a mere character of a novel incarnated into an etheric being.

Anakin held your face, and in the heat of the moment, you pressed your lips against his.

You thought, if anyone else can feel how he makes you feel, they'd never doubt that true love exists.

The understanding you craved for— he gave you most ardently.

Saying 'I love you' came easy. Sometimes, you feel as though saying it would not suffice for how enormously you felt for him.

Your afternoons became late nights, and early mornings. Anakin would ask you to stop smiling, so he could draw you in honesty, but how could you not? You loved the way he'd be so immersed, so lost by gazing at you.

It was a bliss you've only known with Anakin.

But you watched how slowly, he was becoming more and more tense. You're not fighting the war the way he was, being a General, wielding a weapon at the front lines.

He'd rip away pages in frustration, and though you try to soothe the tension and pressure, you're afraid that this story will end in a tragedy.

All your favorite romances leave you feeling hollow towards the sad ending. And with Anakin, you keep being haunted by the thought that any moment might be the last.

What an odd plot to be involved in; loving and being deathly terrified of losing it.

You wrapped yourself in his robes— wishing the feeling to stop plaguing you. Anakin had been asleep, and you stood by the balcony, deep in thought.

You tuck your hands in your pockets, feeling your fingers grow cold by the crisp midnight air.

A piece of paper crumples, and you unfold the portrait.

It was the night you first shared yourself with Anakin. Your mind is flooded by the memory; how he made sure you felt comfortable, how he took every moment slowly like the world outside didn't matter.

You didn't know he drew you, or that he kept it in his pockets. It was strange— to see the picture he loved most was one where you were sleeping. You tuck the paper back inside and go back to bed.

He's gone most of the days now. But you can tell he's making the effort to stay awake when he'd come to your quarters.

"—Love is not an everlasting performance in which you have to attempt to keep your lover's attention. Rather, it's the release of insecurity to trust them to choose to stay, no matter what they see" You narrated softly, thinking Anakin had fallen asleep.

You planted a kiss on his forehead.

"I don't think I've heard this story before" He speaks up after a while.

"No, you haven't" You managed a wan smile. "I wrote it"

Anakin was looking at you the way he used to before. Your heart ached, but you proceeded. "I love you with what in me is unfinished, with what in me remains changing. By you, I am forever undone."

Anakin holds you tight.

"Do you think it'll have a happy ending?" You spoke nakedly.

"Not all stories end in tragedy, my love" He reassures.

You bit your lip "We'll have to conquer the fates, it's been written so many times, a cruel ending" You can't entirely let your fears go.

"Fate gave you to me"

"If by some twist, we end in tragedy, then I am happy to have loved you" He says.

You let out an exhale. There was the simple truth of it; that all things must go, even Anakin. And like him, you felt as though you were blessed to even share a portion of your life with him. Loving is never a waste, even just for the brief time you're allowed in one lifetime. You decided it would be enough for you.

In his arms, it felt like you're unravelling a story that may have a happy ending after all.

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rendiggitydog · 9 days

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Cub… 👀

#plus lineart ver coz I kinda prefer it #but I mean it’s not really his firework skin if there’s no color lol #hermitcraft #rae art #cubfan135 #thinkin abt writing a fic abt him too #I’m a sucker for a normally put-together man who’s a mess

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todayisafridaynight · 7 months

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redraw

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 2 #ryu ga gotoku 3 #yakuza series #yakuza 2 #yakuza kiwami 2 #yakuza 3 #daigo dojima #yoshitaka mine #minedai #snap sketches #FINALLY I PST IT #UGH the og's haunted me for months ive always been unhappy with how i did the lineart of it and. i just knew i could do it better #SOOOOOO HAPPY TO HAVE THIS DONE TODAY :]#i dont think i have any complaints.... p content...#i was gonna add the cheeky 'adults only' stamp but. lets save that for if i actually go through with making a full comic ver of this LOOL #anyway shout out to the person who commented on one of the train fics this morning <3<3<3 youre my hero <3 #anyway. ty to everyone who attended stream to watch me draw this for five hours <3

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ashurzs · 10 months

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STRESS RELIEF!

council duties get very stressful you know! so the president secretly made a perfect position tailored to your expertise! the council's sweet fuck toy <3

cws; male reader, bttm reader, mean tops :(, degradation, overstimulation, skirts, thigh highs.

ver was tired, stressed, annoyed. he desperately just wanted to go home and take a long nice nap. fuck he would kill just for a break! but the paperwork.. he can't risk it. what if he rests, feels relaxed, then slacks off? he can't risk that!

but here you come, making your way into his office and going over to the poor boy. you knew he had to release stress, you can see how hard he's gripping his pen!

it started off with whimpers in his ears, to kisses on the back of his neck, you were about to just beg in his ear to fuck you but apparently he had enough! :(.

"fuck, if i knew you'd be this slutty i would've made this position for you sooner.. so good for me.."

the words that had left your president's mouth basically went in and out. you were too busy trying to keep quiet while being bent over his now messy desk :(. "v-ver.."

you felt a harsh sting on your ass, a loud yelp leaving your mouth in response before two fingers were quickly shoved inside. "shut up before the other council members see you making a mess all over my desk.." the thought lingered in your mind, just barely anyway. the shocked faces they'd have, to the blush.. maybe they'd wanna join.? the of being shared with the others made you whine, drool trickling down your mouth as ver scoffs. "oh so you'd like that?"

the pace of his thrusts quickly picked up as he gripped your hair and pulled you closer to him, his fingers quickly leaving your mouth and then going down to grip harshly at your waist. "kaichou, please please- wanna cum.!"

ver smiles before placing soft kisses on your neck, "go ahead baby,, but what do we say when kaichou gives you something hm?"

rolling your eyes back and arching your back out of his grip, you practically see stars as you cum. mumbling incoherent thank you's and whines made the president smile again, oh how cute can their lil toy be?

it was a stupid dare really, and you always could've said no. doppi-chan would understand, but you had some self respect! and self respect means that you won't back down from a dare.

it was simple, wear this cute, suspiciously short, white colored skirt. there was even a cute lil bow in the back!

"put this on.?"

"it'll just be you and me ya know, not like im gonna take photos and post them around the school!"

"ya know, seeing you try so hard not to make so much noise while riding me is pretty cute.."

you pout at the male, not being able to throw any remarks back at him due to how good he was stuffing you full! "and what makes it more fun is this cute lil' skirt you're wearing~" "y-you wanted it.." hearing you finally talk makes him thrust his hips up, a pathetic moan comes out from your mouth as you grip on his shoulders. "so cute.. such a good slut for me yeah? taking all of your doppi's stress away~" the praise immediately gets into your head as you clench around him. he lets out a shaky sigh as he clenches the end of your skirt. the thin fabric barely covers your silky, marked thighs, yet it still covers what doppio wants to see the most.

the lewd noises of skin slapping and wanton whines make doppio feel prideful. "you look like a whore ya know, so lucky that your doppi loves how you feel around my cock.. fuck~"

you feel your thighs burning at this point, the thin line that stops you from cumming is almost cut, and hey is that doppi's phone ringing? whatever! he can deal with it later! "wanna cum.. doppi please please-"

"i can jus feel you suckin me baby, i guess you like this as much as i do hm?" he asks before going on to pepper your exposed neck with kisses. the other boy's won't mind if their baby had some marks, right?

hex was generally always tired, his monotone voice and mood always there. but who could blame the poor guy? that's why you had offered to do all the work for him! all you need is for him to tell you what to do!

the first thing was just to dress up pretty for him, cute white thigh highs with a cute pink bow! they were just so adorable on you.. that and plus the faint blush on your face as he told you to sit across from him is to die for! he'll enjoy this well deserved break very much.

"come on prince, you can do better than that right?" the whine that left you was audible as your dick was starting to get sensitive to the touch. hex had sat across from you, whilst you had your legs spread on the chair opposite from his. he was able to see everything <3. from the slick that had been dripping down your needy hole, to the precum trickling down your sensitive cock. he was enjoying it. "h-hex.. please.."

he tuts with his velvety voice, a shiver being sent down your spine. "come on baby,, one more for me?" you couldn't just decline the poor mans offer, he was tired! and honestly you were too.. you just wanted his thick cock in you as soon as possible :(. "one more and i'll stuff you full baby, promise."

yet another whine leaves you, it sounds like akin to a choked sob. "an obedient whore in heat for me.." those words were slow to register in your mushy mind, but the sudden thrust of hex's thick cock in you were quick! "h-hAh-!~ h-hex wait-"

you swear you hear the taller male chuckle before pounding into you, each thrust hitting your prostate causing you to let out loud whines. thighs were instinctively wrapped around hex's waist as you loll your tongue out. the taller sees you, he takes a chance to lean down and kiss you sloppily. "hex.!! s-so full,, too much.. s-so much.!" your slutty whines and whines were muffled with the other's mouth. all of this goes straight to your dick as you cum over your stomach. but that doesn't stop hex.? "w-wait.! plEase-!"

"it's okay baby, be a good whore for me hm? wanna see you cum for me again."

woaa longest work to date, hopefully this continues on :3

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verfound · 2 months

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WIP Wednesday: 03.06.24

There has been a lot going on recently, and I've been very drained. Progress on things has been slow going at best. I had some time yesterday, though, and opened up this doc while looking for another one. The next thing I knew it had doubled in length and I was resting in the domestic fluff. Writing - being able to create - when everything has been preventing it felt like breathing again. 🖤

Looking back, Luka was ninety percent sure that’s when it happened: when Marinette stood in the center of his brand new, empty flat, her hands on her hips, and declared that it was too bland. He looked up from where he was talking with the landlord, discussing the contract and what paperwork he’d need to bring to the office to finalize everything, and gave her an amused look.

“…I don’t even technically live here yet,” he told her, but she just huffed out a little sigh and gestured at the walls.

“But it’s so…white,” she grumbled disparagingly. She looked over her shoulder at him with a frown. “You’re not white, Luka.”

“As long as you paint it a neutral color before moving out, I don’t care if you paint the walls,” the landlord said with an easy laugh. He grinned at Luka. “There’s a tenant on the second floor with black walls. I’m sure you can’t do anything worse than that. Whatever makes your girlfriend happy.”

It was the second time in less than two hours that someone had confused Marinette for his girlfriend. He glanced nervously at her, but she had moved past them to start inspecting the kitchen again.

“She’s not…Marinette’s just making sure I don’t pick a crap hole,” Luka said. The landlord’s eyebrows rose, and Luka felt his face warm. “I mean…we’re not like that.”

The landlord’s eyes darted towards the kitchen, his expression incredulous.

“I suppose it’ll do,” Marinette sighed, appearing at Luka’s side again. Her arms slipped around his own, hugging him to her side and doing nothing to disprove the landlord’s assumption. “At least you don’t have to share it with your sister.”

The landlord was still giving him that Look – the one that said he didn’t really believe they Weren’t Like That in the slightest – but he said nothing as he handed Luka a stack of papers.

“As you can see, it’s ready to move in,” he said. “Bring the paperwork back Monday along with your security deposit and first month’s rent, and then it’s yours.”

“That gives us just enough time to get you moved in before you leave for tour,” Marinette hummed, squeezing his arm. Her face lit up as she looked back at the walls. “I can paint while you’re gone. We can pick out colors this weekend.”

“You have midterms,” he reminded her, but she scoffed and patted his arm.

“I can study while the paint dries,” she chided him, and what happened to painting after he left? “Now, what do you think about periwinkle? Oooh – or maybe sage?”

The landlord was still smirking at them as he saw them out. Looking back, Luka was pretty sure the landlord had figured it out long before he had: Marinette wasn’t just tagging along to help him pick out his flat. She was tagging along to pick out theirs.

#wip wednesday #miraculous ladybug #luka couffaine #marinette dupain-cheng #lukanette #endgame lukanette #lukanette endgame #wip fic #ver fic #idiots to lovers #guess I live here now

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silkjade · 15 days

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reader who is an assistant at chioriya boutique —sent down to the fortress of meropide to fetch the duke’s measurements for some fancy overworld event he’s obligated to attend

and wriothesley who isn’t used to the intimacy of being touched like that… your fingers dancing over his clothed skin, grazing over tense muscles in places he didn’t even know he was sensitive in…

he knows you’re just doing your job, but when you’re on your knees measuring the circumference of his thigh, looking up at him with those eyes, telling him to relax…. he does anything but

#— 𝓼𝓲𝓰𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓙. ༯ #the fic vers of this has been in my drafts for like a month i just dn’t have insp or moti atm T^T #but coming (cumming) soon hopefully hehe

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gay-ppl-real · 27 days

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Welcome Home sketch dump

I made some adjustments to the way I'm drawing them, and now I actually like it! Admittedly, I did not like it before. But now I do! Hazzah!

This was my first time drawing Poppy, and my first time drawing Frank properly

(Wow! I'd also never drawn Eddie before! Now I have done that!)

They make him think of Frank

Here's the full page lol

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lovelynim · 9 days

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Bad day

Honkai: Star Rail - Aventurine x Dr. Ratio

A/N: HAPPY (LATE) BIRTHDAY @fluffy-ami!! I'm sorry for being such a horrible friend and only noticing the date has passed me by almost two weeks later. I hope this humble mess can make up for my delay. Love you, *mwah*

Summary: Ratio had a bad day, so Aventurine came to the rescue!

Word count: 1153 words

Ratio looked down at the hands wrapped around his chest, pondering whether he should question it or not. He was nearly sure he did warn that idiot gambler about the risks of pestering him tonight, so why, of all things, were Aventurine holding (or, at least, trying to) him down?

“Let go, gambler,” Ratio sighed, tapping the back of one of Aventurine’s hands with the vain hope it would be enough to convince him. “I’m not in the mood for your foolery.”

The only answer he got from the other man, however, was something suddenly pressing on his back. The doctor looked over his shoulder and could tell that the gambler was… leaning into him? Without moving his arms a single inch, Aventurine pressed his forehead on Ratio’s back, nudging slightly. “This isn’t ‘foolery’, I’m trying to be nice here, doc”.

“Then do it to someone else, can’t you tell I’m busy?”

“I can also tell you’re in a bad mood, doc,” Aventurine spoke softly, his words almost muffled by Ratio’s body. The doctor sighed, looking up to the ceiling. Oh Aeons above, what did he do to deserve this idiot in his life? “I thought someone as smart as you would be able to tell what a ‘hug’ is,” Aventurine teased, tightening his embrace.

Ratio wasn’t exactly restrained, but he couldn’t properly move either. Aventurine’s arms kept his won from moving all the way, leaving him in a quite difficult position. “Sigh, I’m serious, let me g-”

“So am I, doc,” Aventurine mumbled, leaning into the other as he tried to get closer to his face. The gambler stood on the tip of his toes, but still lacked a couple inches to properly reach Ratio’s. “What happened? Did you have a bad day?”

“Gambler,” Ratio warned, tugging at the back of Aventurine's wrist with a messed up grip, his fingers barely managing to graze at the other’s arm. “...why are you so clingy? Are you even sober?”

Aventurine couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, planting his heels back into the ground. “Did you just hesitate?” He said smugly, tilting his head to the side to try to peek at Ratio’s expression.

His attempt to fend the other off with snark didn’t seem to work, Ratio noted mentally. Maybe it was the tiredness from work, but responding to Aventurine’s teases seemed to be a more difficult task than he first anticipated. “That was just another of your delusions, I’m afraid. Now, care to let me go?”

“Not until we work on this bad mood of yours, doc,” Aventurine insisted, pressing his forehead on Ratio’s back again.The scholar gritted his teeth, regretting not keeping in mind how persistent the other could be at times. “My mood will improve greatly once you let me go, gambler.”

Against his expectations, what followed the short conversation was absolute silence. Almost as if he was actually pondering the matter, Aventurine only hummed quietly, making the doctor feel somewhat… uneasy.

Aventurine could be pretty unpredictable - an aspect of his that Ratio always despised utterly. Bold moves, careless thinking and an awful attitude, yes, that was Aventurine. On top of that, the fact that things always seemed to work in his favor only made it worse.

The moments in silence seemed to drag on for hours and were making Ratio more anxious - to not say “curious”. The room was so quiet that he could almost hear the gears inside Aventurine’s head turning, plotting his next flawless plan.

“Alright, that enou-ugh!” Ratio widened his eyes. If looks could kill, Aventurine would already be a better place by that time. “Gamb- ah! G-Gambler, don’t you d-dare.”

Aventurine laughed sheepishly, nuzzling the tip of his nose between Ratio’s wing bones. “‘Dare’ to do what, doc? I’m not sure if I’m following.”

Before Ratio could voice another retort, he felt those pesky fingers digging into his sides again. An electric sensation ran across his body, not to mention the fact that Aventurine kept his arms tightly wrapped around him, preventing him from moving. Damned gambler.

“Y-yohou know what I’m tahahalking about!” Ratio giggled against his will, moving his torso as much as he could inside the gambler’s hug, but his efforts were all in vain. If anything, whenever he moved, Aventurine would poke his sides again in an awfully tickling manner that would make him jump in place.

The gambler pressed the tip of his fingers on the spot, taking advantage of Ratio’s fashion choice to rub small circles on the bare skin. “Come on, you’re too handsome to be frowning like that ~”

Ratio wasn’t sure if it was an extra measure to keep him moving away or something else entirely, but Aventurine was suddenly leaning on him again while his hand wrecked havoc against his half exposed side. Now, besides finding a way to deal with the annoying tickling, Ratio also needed to be careful to not make Aventurine fall to the ground or, worse, be dragged along in the other’s fall.

“Gahahambler! S-stop it!” Ratio hissed, his hands desperately trying to dislodge Aventurine’s, but he always seemed to be out of his reach. “You ihihidiot!”

“Ehh? How mean!” Aventurine chuckled, vibrating his fingers under one of Ratio’s ribs, making the scholar let out an uncharming, loud laugh. “I’m very worried about you, doc! N- now, could you squat a little?”

“W-whahat?!”

Ratio had been tickled by Aventurine before, yes. He also returned the favor a few times. And considering the history of episodes regarding this matter, this particular request became even more odd. It wouldn’t surprise him if Aventurine teased him or threatened him with more tickling, but… squat?

“I c-can’t reach your face, you’re too tall…” The gambler muttered shily, almost innocently, but his hand didn’t stop - not for a single moment. The contrast between his acts and his attitude annoyed Ratio even more. “C’mere, please ~”

“H-how cahahan I move with you hohoholding me, yohou imbehehecile!”

“Agh, fine,” Aventurine groaned, deciding to take the other’s requests in consideration and, at last, letting him go.

Ratio gasped, quickly reaching for his abused side and trying to rub off the ticklish sensation. “You d-damned gambler,” he panted, turning around to face Aventurine, who wore that handsome stupid smirk he always used to.

“Nah-ah, before you scold me…” Aventurine ordered, pointing towards the ground as a reference to his demand. Ratio usually would’ve denied but, just this time, he decided to oblique.

Slightly bending forward, Ratio’s eyes were almost at the same level of Aventurine’s, waiting for the gambler to take action. “So, what did you want?”

“This, doc,” Aventurine muttered, gently wrapping his arms around Ratio’s neck and planting a kiss on his cheek. “I hope you have a better day tomorrow,” he whispered close to Ratio’s ear, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

“...gambler,” Ratio called softly, letting out a pleased sigh.

“Yes, doc?”

“Thank you.”

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail tickling #hsr #aventurine #dr ratio #lee!dr ratio #ticklish!dr ratio #ler!aventurine #aventio #raturine #ratiorine #tickle fic #happy birthday ami!!!#(late ver.)

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fishfingersandscarves · 10 months

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very silly drawing of a scene from the most recent chapter of Fuckboi Dream Was Forced To Experience The Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Alive And All He Got Was This Stupid Husband (by Fall Out Boy) by @dancinbutterfly

#my art #fishfingersandscarves #the sandman #the sandman netflix #fic rec #dancinbutterfly #dream of the endless #dream (the sandman)#lucienne the librarian #lucienne (the sandman)#yes. this is homestuck style bc of a single line in the chapter about how oneiros is the beta vers of murphy LOL #this was very fun to make

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stargirl-writes · 5 months

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heal

pairing : f! reader x anakin skywalker

word count : 3.5 k

masterlist | ao3 link

summary

in which anakin skywalker chooses to run away with you before all is lost in mustafar.

tags : au, angst!!, hurt/no comfort

warnings : toxic love, dark fic, ptsd, and reader being so dependent on anakin, suicidal behavior

notes : my reader character being a healer is my self indulgent insert 😭

i've sat w this 4 so long cause i was like 'realistically, what would happen if anakin ran away?' and i think i've finally made up my mind abt it.

time is moving fast for this fic because i wanted to cover so much, so heads up for the skips!

ALSO, ear-ringing apologist perspective. if u can't handle reader being blind to faults, this is not for u haha!

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated!

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

At least, it was something you want believed in.

The clone war that raged on revealed just how much people can be persuaded to do horrible things when their survival is at stake.

You underestimated that instinct yourself. The burning desperation to not lose your Anakin Skywalker. You thought, you would have killed for him, the way he would for you.

Obi-Wan Kenobi was the one to tell you how Anakin became irredeemable.

It was a blur how you flew to Mustafar despite it. You needed Anakin to admit to it, you needed to take him away from what he'll become.

The crimes he committed made you feel sick, septic like a festering wound.

But, whether you love what you love.

Or live in divided ceaseless revolt against it, what you love is your fate.

You've been so alone. So much so, you can only define a time with Anakin, and without him.

It was gradual. It couldn't have been some higher power that destined you to him, He had been a General of a war, and you, the Healer. It was all odds, that you fell in the right place at the wrong time.

An unwilling hero, and a glorified murderer.

He was crafted to be a tool in the war. Divinely created by the Force with the purpose of bringing balance. And in a war, that meant doing damage, killing.

Every victory he had was a stark contrast to yours.

Every life he takes, be it a droid or a separatist, is a win. And every life you lose is a name added to the long list of casualties.

You and Anakin were opposites.

So, the shock of it remains, because somehow along the way, Anakin loved you. And you loved him. You had each other to cling to.

The terror of What if it doesn't last, What if there's no one else? What happens if it goes back to being alone? persists.

And you might not belong anywhere else.

But you were his. As he is yours. Not in the manner of possession. Yours in the way of devotion.

Mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love.

You knew that Anakin's love was conditional. You were only the one in front of him. You didn't misunderstand. You let him use you anyway.

It's not like you were loving him unconditionally, it was because you were terrified to be lonely.

At least, in the beginning, you believed so.

Most days were occupied by your duties. And Anakin would love you in a way that is shaped like fingers wrapped around a throat. Incessant. Hungry. Teeth deep in possession. Making up for the little time, holding you against him as if he was bracing himself that someday you won't be around.

It felt like he was always saying goodbye.

So, though your heart was nearly breaking out of your ribs, you flew by yourself to Mustafar.

A pile of lifeless Separatist figures greeted you in horror.

It was true. Anakin had gone to the dark side. What he did with those children...

The fear consumed you like a corrosion, but still, you stood in front of him, begging him to come back.

Anakin had carried a deep malaise when you had found him. It was almost emanating from his blood-stained robe, a coldness, a deadly assurance.

"You're not supposed to be here," Anakin says in a strangled voice. His hands firmly holding your arms.

The color of his eyes startled you. It was like looking at a ghost, and all that was left was an unending rage. You fought to not let your fear swallow you.

"Anakin, we have to go" Your lips quivered, not entirely sure what you were planning.

There will never be escaping the things he's done.

You want him to go away with you, anyway.

Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

For a while, it was quiet. Anakin's glossy blue eyes were gazing at you, in conflict, and begging to be understood.

"I can't... Don't you see? I've restored justice to the galaxy" He abruptly lets go, and turns, concealing his face away from your sight. "The things I've done... I can't, there's no running away from it"

The guilt he feels leads him to think that the only path now is through the one he sacrificed his morality for.

"No," you struggled, voice failing to hide your anguish. "Anakin, you can't let this be your fate. Run away with me." You pleaded, eyes filled with tears.

A life of loneliness. With no one, the way it used to.

Then, Anakin half turns. He surveys your willingness to take him as he is. Maybe, even wanting to believe it.

You have always loved Anakin, even the parts you have not understood.

Perhaps, this was the similarity that bound you together. Burning devotion. One that allows you to see past your moral code.

You gave so much to the war. You'd run yourself spent from the hours. You fought so hard to keep people from dying. You'd never taken anything but this. A chance at life. Away from it all.

"I would've done anything you asked of me" His voice reveals his devastation.

You stepped forward, "Then come with me, Leave it all behind, I need you"

You held your breath, half convinced that this may very much be the end of things.

But Anakin takes your hand, and you don't waste a minute more to take him away in your ship.

Your hands shook the entire time.

The galaxy was silent when the war ended.

Mace Windu's attempt to assassinate the Chancellor made the Jedi an enemy of the Empire.

It triggered an Order that made clone soldiers turn against their Generals. The Jedi are hunted down for treason.

You and Anakin will never find security again.

The atmosphere was thick with emotions that were strained by the abruptness of events. It was making it so much harder to breathe. To live with the truth of it.

All three years of the war are reduced to two moments; Anakin falling into Palpatine's manipulation, and Anakin choosing to run away with you.

You caught yourself slipping away. Tucked in a corner of your mind where you can feel safe.

The healer's oath replays in your mind, the cruelest reminder.

Blind to faults, blind to good. Serve to save, not to see.

As the jedi healer, you weren't allowed to deny patients. You wondered whether that played into role when you stomached all the horrible things Anakin did. Serve to save, despite, despite, despite...

You landed in a remote place on your home planet of Hapes.

It was a secluded cabin that you used to go to when you were younger. Surrounded by a lake that stretches as far as your eyes can see. It was the first thing that came to mind when you set your ship on autopilot.

Anakin was quiet the entire time.

You, too, became paralyzed by the events that has unraveled.

For a few days, it remained like that.

Though the event has passed, your body can't quite regulate.

It still feels as though someone will find you. And take Anakin with them. You knew your hypervigilance was a consequence of your trauma, but knowing doesn't mean you can let the feeling go.

Even Anakin responds to mild stressors as if he was still in the war. He'd not let you off his sight the first few weeks.

You felt as though Anakin was trying to process everything in his mind. And you grew terrified of his growing silence. Knowing Anakin meant knowing his tendencies to vacillate violently. The reality of what he had done would set and it'd twist into something septic. An unending shame.

You were convinced that he'd have killed himself from it.

But then he'd stare at you deeply as if he was committing you to memory. He'd coddle your face in his palm. He'd hold your hand, hands that are capable of so much rage, and so much tenderness. He'd hold you tight against him in bed, the way he used to.

He can't quite communicate it through words yet, so he'd rely on his touch to let you know that he was still here. Your anxieties eased after. He needed to detangle it on his own. You'd be there whenever he is ready.

Obi-Wan Kenobi appears the next month.

It was through luck that you were the one to open the door.

You knew Obi-Wan would want Anakin to answer for the crimes he's committed.

You won't let him.

"What do you want?" You say cautiously. Stepping forward to the Jedi Master to stop him from entering your new home.

Obi-wan furrows his eyebrows at your action. He gazes at you for a moment before speaking up. "You know what he's done, [Name]"

"The Republic has fallen. The system that replaced it won't hold him to what he's done. It's the very reason for its existence, anyway"

Obi-Wan's eyebrows flashed hearing your words. It seemed as though you'd be the last person he'd expect to exhibit such... heartlessness.

"And what, do you intend to keep him here forever?"

You looked down, fiending an expression of indifference you learnt from Anakin.

"I'm more selfish than he is"

Obi-Wan sighs. There were no more Jedi Council to hold Anakin accountable. You wonder if Obi-Wan had gone looking for him out of the responsibility he felt he had. You could use that.

"If you have any love left for Anakin, You'll leave him with me" You persuaded.

Obi-Wan sharply looks at you. You knew he was being torn apart by his mind and heart.

The door swings, revealing Anakin who appears behind you.

Anakin's arm extends to put you behind him. Obi-Wan was caught, stricken by the sight of his apprentice. You held on to Anakin's forearm.

You held your breath.

Then, Obi-Wan opens his arm to hug Anakin.

Anakin froze, perhaps not expecting his Master to embrace him after...

He turns his head to look at you, then back to his Master. And he reluctantly wraps his arm around Obi-Wan.

You exhaled finally.

You saw Obi-Wan's glossy eyes as he pulled away. He may not forgive Anakin for all the things he's responsible for, but his love for him surpasses all the anger he has.

Gaining his master's acceptance, Anakin became recognizable once more.

However, Obi-Wan could not stay. Perhaps, he's grown sick of stomaching the love he had for Anakin. It was not an easy feeling to be fond of.

When Obi-Wan left, Anakin finally came to you.

It hauntingly paralleled the moment he broke down after he lost his mother. After he gave in to his rage. Only this time, he didn't hold the pose of defiance and came undone, weeping for what he'd done.

You held him and told him that what matters now is what he'll choose to do.

And in the months that come, Anakin has fought to deserve your forgiveness.

He wanted to earn your love.

As a healer, your experience with foraging natural medicine made you more equipped to build a sustainable life. In six months, you were able to make this house by the lake a place to call home.

But, Anakin is being dragged through time. He'd do his best to help, but you can feel his... silence. The weight of it, this was not the life he was groomed to have. He has always lived off the adrenaline. The absence of it makes him constantly feel as though he is at the other end of the high.

It'd worry you whenever he comes home late from a hunt. He's always been reckless, that much hasn't changed. He'd come home covered in tissue deep cuts, bruised muscles, and a dead-pan look in his eyes. It was a topic that you tried to communicate— and a topic Anakin would respond defensively to.

"It's nothing" He'd dismiss whilst you were dressing the wound.

You'd press the clean gauze over his skin, on the brink of anxiety. He'd wince and take the gauze from your hand.

And you'd stand up and leave, because your patience would have run out by then.

It upset you how he always stands on a cliff to wait for the winds to swoon him over because he won't jump, he won't make that decision himself.

Your breaths were shallow as you tried to calm down after yelling about how his passivity over danger was eating at you. You needed him to try. Because you can't save him on your own.

"I'm sorry" Anakin looks down, receding. " I just don't know how to do this" He admits, eyes wide, childlike, helpless.

And you thaw, breaths shallow as you fought to not cry from the anger.

"Anakin, if you don't..." You began, looking down at the ground as if the words would appear before you there. "if you don't want this anymore, you can go"

Because the entire year you have spent in this cabin, it felt like time has frozen. You hoped that in time, you and Anakin would find the courage to move past the war. Of course, it was futile, you can never take back what you've given to the effort.

Whatever is left of you and Anakin is all there is now. And sometimes, it feels like there is nothing. Just ghosts of who you once were. You weren't sure if being with you was making any difference at all.

You were selfish, but not enough to keep him as he wastes away. You'd let him go, even if it'd cripple you forever.

Anakin grabs both of your shoulders firmly, forcing you to look up to him.

"Why do you think I came with you?" Anakin's voice was stern. His eyes fixed, determined to imprint words to your heart.

You held on to his arm, swallowing your anguish. "I only meant that if I'm not doing you any good, you should—"

"And where would I go?" He interrupts, unrelenting.

"I don't know" You admitted. You're ruining him. You've done this to him. You should let him go.

His grip loosened, and his lips kept opening and closing as if he was eating up the words before letting it leave his mouth.

"—I'm trying, [Name]"

"I'm giving you my life, I don't have anything larger to give" His voice breaks, and his head dips. "I'm trying" he repeats.

You felt his tears warm against your clavicle. Your fingers tangling with his hair.

"I know, Ani" You coo gently. "We'll try together" You promised.

It was becoming clearer that he was alleviating his sins by trying to kill the entity that once controlled him. It was also becoming harder to see a monster when all you see is Anakin, the love you abandoned everything for.

Anakin, who was sold as a slave, and then freed, only to be chained to another lifelong servitude through the Jedi. Anakin, who was dropped in the middle of a war, and made responsible for a child whilst being a child himself.

The Jedi Order relied on his nature of winning, despite not agreeing with his tactics. He'd be patronized for his violence, which his life would soon be defined by. Anakin's worst action is murder, the same way his best action is murder. Because if he doesn't answer to the shots fired, he'd be the one receiving them.

He was never afforded any space to become anything else.

Except when he's with you.

Anakin can become cruel, the same way he is loving. Two truths can exist at the same time.

And with the months that flew by, you watched as Anakin continually chose to not let his darkness define him.

You were learning things about him that you couldn't have had during the war. The way he neatly keeps inventory of his tools. The intense focus in his eyes when he is concentrating. The way the wood creaks— the cadence of his steps. All committed to memory because no one else can know him the way you do.

He told you, you saved him. And you wept, unsure whether what you did was really an act of selflessness.

Living with him became easier. No more effort to try to gain his love. No approval, no admiration to attain. There is no role to play, no one to convince. Just, being. There was so much time, and the only thing that mattered was; how long do we have each other?

Most days, Anakin would carry his grief so well, that you'd forget it was even there. He'd work to minimize it, to live with it. However, when the dark comes, he has no control over his dreams. and the overwhelming shame and guilt seep.

It had been two years when you woke up abruptly to find the space beside you empty.

You grabbed your robe, the cold midnight air felt crisp against your skin. Finding Anakin was easy. He'd always wander towards the edge of the lake, staring at the moons.

"It's cold, Ani, come back to sleep" You urged, but Anakin's gaze was far away.

He has chopped some of his hair, and it looked the way it used to during the war. It startles you sometimes to remember how young he still was.

"I had a dream" He speaks softly, arms finding a way to snake around you so he'd press you against him. "It felt as real as you now" His gaze lands on you.

It terrified you to ask, but you did anyway.

"We had a child"

Oh.

You chuckled in surprise. Stepping back to process what he said. It just never seemed to occur to you, then. Though you have never dismissed the idea, it just felt like you were barely surviving to try to raise a child.

Anakin smiles when he realizes he made you flustered. "Good thing it was only a dream?"

You let out a breathless laugh, somehow relieved that Anakin was not seriously considering it.

"Yes," You weren't ready. You may never find it in yourself to ever be ready.

"We're not bringing a child now, not like this"

Anakin's expression melts, "Yes, the empire is growing stronger" His guilt resurfaces.

"I never imagined it to be like this for us," He thinks out loud,

"We have to make the best of what we have" You sigh.

"I've been thinking" Anakin begins, "maybe, there is still something that can be done"

You try steadying your breath, somehow bracing yourself for this moment; when he'll want to fight again.

It was everything he was made for. You knew that, you just didn't think it'd be in under a short period.

Something was screaming inside you. A fear, that you thought had gone when you ran away with Anakin. It was telling you that you were going to lose him. And you, selfishly, want to stop him. He can't... if he goes, he'll die. And you can't even begin to imagine what'll happen to you if he dies.

"How?" You asked despite yourself.

"Ahsoka mentioned something about a rebellion," He says, voice thick with something he hasn't had before. Hope.

"The galaxy needs changing" He steps forward.

You shook your head, overcome by the anxiety of it. "Anakin, I'm never going back"

He turns on his heel, eyes narrowed at your proclamation. "I didn't ask you to come back"

You tilt your head, "Of course, you weren't" Though you knew you were being unfair, just the idea of it was sending stress already.

Anakin's eyebrows knit. "I'm only thinking out loud, it's one thing to consider it but another to act on it" He defends.

Though, you know this is where it begins. And you were responding defensively because you knew where it would lead.

Anakin will forever feel as though he has to restore the galaxy to how it was before he helped destroyed it. It won't be long until he'd despise himself for choosing to stay here with you. Especially since it's been drilled into him that he's supposed to be the one to bring balance to the force.

Whether he loves you or lives in a divided ceaseless revolt against it, what he chooses to love is your fate.

His purpose or you.

Going would give him his closure.

Going would anchor you to the hells of your biggest fear.

"Anakin, please don't go where I can't follow" Your voice broke, begging. It was selfish to want to keep him for the second time.

And you weren't sure whether your love would be enough for Anakin to stay.

Not when it only brought him here, a home by the lake, forever standing on thin ice that always threatened to break under.

You were living under the false pretense of security. All of this, the house, the lake, the isolation, are reminders that you and Anakin will never go back to normalcy, no matter how much you pretend.

A knife may dull, but its purpose remains to cut.

Anakin's expression softens and he presses his lips on the temples of your forehead.

You were slowly understanding that the entire galaxy's fate was carried inside Anakin Skywalker.

The chosen one.

Every decision he made was informed by that pressure. No matter how personal, it always builds to a path that he can't control, because it's already laid out for him.

Created by the force, to be used by the force.

So you can't find the heart to be angry when he left.

You decided it would be hopeless to try to stop him. Anakin has this view that everything in his life, he has to work to earn. To deserve.

Even this... freedom that you have.

He has to contribute to it, in this perverse grandiose action as to fight the Empire. So he can accept that you do indeed love him.

He has to seize this opportunity with Ahsoka. He is more autonomous of his power now. He is once again engaging in something that's risking his life. He can fulfill his destiny.

It didn't make it any less painful.

You had to inspire confidence in him, otherwise, he'd doubt. So, you pushed all your feelings away and smiled when you kissed him goodbye.

You never left the war. The two years you stole were only stalling the inevitable. Perhaps, two years was too generous.

"Bring him back, please" You took Ahsoka aside. Ahsoka nods uncommitedly. For, she won't promise what she can't deliver.

And once again, you have found yourself alone.

He swore he'd have done anything for you.

Just not this one.

His belief that he has no inherent right to life; and has to work to earn anything made you feel as though you were his... prize. A trophy. In which he'd fight for to retain but not value enough to take care of.

He should've stayed. It's good he left.

Because now that you have nothing, you're finally able to detangle how Anakin doesn't love you. Not in the way you thought. Anakin loves that he has you.

You have always put his wellness first, that now, when you are not so worried by walking carefully around his hurt, you are able to feel yours.

Perhaps, losing Anakin was good. You can finally put yourself first. Whilst he still seeks answers in the past

There is no going back to the way it was. You tried living 'normally' and it just became a bitter reminder that you are forever changed.

Acceptance of that and lending yourself a little more compassion might just be the beginning of your healing.

footnote

i'm obsessed with the writing style where authors strikes through the text ! it's such a smart way to imply that the character that's narrating is choosing not to allow those thoughts and so it looks like it's been scribbled out .

also, quoting ka applegate on relationships not lasting outside the war :

"wars don't end happily. not ever. often relationships that were central during war, dissolve during peace. some people who were brave and fearless in a war are unable to handle peace, feel disconnected and confused. "

#anakin skywalker #anakin (ciella's ver)#star wars #sw #anakin x reader #anakin x you #star wars anakin #anakin #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfiction #anakin star wars #anakin skywalker fic #fanfic #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x female reader

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aniwahstan · 10 months

Text

The Jegulus 1999 Record Store AU

Ff: Meet on Telegraph Avenue

The one where Regulus moves from London to crash with Sirius in California, then falls for his roommate who is an absolute prick to him for months before he finally admits that he’s in love with him

(Smut below the cut)

They crawl through the window and discard their glasses in the sink on the way to James’ room. Regulus sits on the edge of the bed while James runs a hand over his CD collection. “What do you want to listen to?”

Regulus lays back onto the mattress. “You pick.”

“Alright, but you asked for it.”

Regulus hears the click of the play button. Under the Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers starts to play. Regulus sits-up immediately. “No, why?”

James raises his eyebrows. “What is your problem with RHCP?”

Regulus groans and falls back to the bed. “All of their songs are about doing drugs in California.”

James lowers himself to the bed and lays back beside Regulus. “I know. It’s perfect.”

Their heads fall to the side and James reaches across his body and lays it on Regulus’ cheek. “I’ll distract you so you won’t even know what’s playing.”

Regulus smirks as James rolls on top of him and lets his full weight drop onto Regulus’ body. His hand wanders down to Regulus’ waist and slips under his t-shirt. They kiss for a few minutes before James stands beside the bed. It’s art - how James undoes the second button of his overalls and lets them fall to the floor in one smooth motion.

James makes quick work of undressing Regulus and throwing his clothing to the floor. They laugh in between their tongues in each other’s mouth, a bit sloppy from the alcohol in their blood.

James guides Regulus’ head to the pillows and trails down his stomach with his tongue, then back up again. He takes him into his hand first, making Regulus’ back arch into the touch. When his mouth replaces his hand Regulus throws his head back, letting a shameless groan slip from his mouth as James adds pressure with his tongue. Regulus is going to implode if he keeps going.

James stops just before Regulus loses it, knowing exactly what he’s doing with his torturous pause. He kisses Regulus’ neck and reaches for the drawer beside his bed, finding the condoms and lube that he always keeps there.

James looks at him from above, hovering over his body. “Your turn?”

Regulus’ eyes go wide with surprise. He’s topped before, but it’s rare. Very rare. Guys usually just assume what he likes because he’s smaller, and gentle, and listens to love songs.

James’ eyes swim with unholy desire at Regulus’ surprise. “I believe you promised me a little payback from my actions on the bus.”

Regulus takes the condom between his fingers and leans in to bite James’ shoulder - an impure act to match James’ impure eyes. “Fuck yes.”

James turns and falls to the bed. He watches as Regulus rolls the condom on himself and drips lube onto his hand. James’ gaze never leaves where Regulus’ hand strokes, touching himself and purposefully drawing it out to make James agonize over having to wait.

Regulus climbs over with a leg on each side of James’ hips. He trails his slick fingers down his stomach and returns the patience James gave him, making sure he’s ready and all but begging for more.

“Ready?”

The smirk that crosses James’ face is downright a sin. He nods his head as Regulus positions himself between his legs. He moves in slowly, inch by inch, soaking in every moan from James’ mouth as he pushes further and further. James’ neck cranes as he stays inside of him without moving, pulling James hips into him from below. The feeling of being inside of James barely allows Regulus the mental strength to tease. He wants to make it slow, make it torturously slow. But he’s not that strong. He has to move.

When he’s found his rhythm, Regulus leans up and supports himself with one hand on the mattress, leaving enough space for him to reach between them and tease James with his fingers as they go. When he wraps his fingers around James and starts to stroke him in rhythm with his thrusts, James’ gaze lands on Regulus’ face with a slack jaw. James’ thighs press into the sides of Regulus’ body as he looks down at what Regulus is doing to him. He licks his lips, watching Regulus move in and out with the stare of a hunter. Regulus has a sudden realization, and moves his hand from between them up to James’ neck. He lays his palm on James’ throat, just barely adding pressure.

Out of nowhere, James starts to buck from under him. James’ arms wrap around his back, pulling him into his chest. He whispers directly into Regulus’ ear. “Harder.”

Regulus is blind with pleasure as he moves faster, relinquishing himself fully and burying his body within James. James was right. Regulus can’t even hear the music over their shared moaning and heavy breathing. All he can hear is James’ inhales getting shorter and shorter, which takes Regulus right to the edge with him. Regulus comes just as James lets out a final long groan and throws his head back to the pillow.

#regulus as a top is my religion #they’re both vers in this AU which is the highlight of my writing life #also the 90s music hits and there’s a playlist obviously #jegulus #regulus black #james potter #jegulus fic #starchaser #regulus fanfiction #jegulus smut #James Potter smut #regulus black smut #jegulus fanfiction

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