#they were all having some points

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[momentomori24]

THEY ARE SO INSUFFERABLE AND HORRIFIC AND AWFUL BUT SO AMAZING AND DORKY AND THIS PART IS SO UNFAIRLY FUNNY AND CUTE AND WHOLESOME-- PLEASE, PLEASE HAVE MORE SCREENTIME IN S2. PLEASE LET THEM TAKE OVER THE SHOW. I KNOW THEY'RE HORRIBLE PEOPLE BUT I NEED MORE OF THE VEES.

And the most important scene of them all (to me):

First of all, how is Vox doing that. Second, you just know that these two douchebags are going to bang so hard with Alastor getting his ass kicked replaying in the background after this. I hate them so much.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel vees #voxval #staticmoth #all their scenes in this episode were so freaking good holy shit #all their scenes in show are great actually #like-- oh my god #they are so much fun to have around #vox was literally me the entire time (minus the alastor hating) #and their evil little happy celebrating at the end was so cute it's unreal #i wanted the vees to sing together at some point and i'm so happy it was delivered vox and val sound fantastic together #and that sneaky staticmoth kiss at the end YES YES YES YEEESS #i love everyone in this show (except adam) but the vees are just built different #with adam dead can they please appear more? please? i need more of these disgusting assholes committing disgusting crimes and gay wrongs #''the future of hell belongs to the vees'' is a sentiment i can and will get behind please take over #i just finished the season finale and it gave me the dopamine rush i really needed today i'm so happy AAHHHHHH #i can't stop rewatching this scene someone please help me i can't escape their clutches i've been here for hours please #ok i'm clogging these tags so i'm stopping here but AAGHHHBKFGXGGGBB #anyways good night

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Lackadaisy Enrichment

#in our enclosures!! #video linked as source; which i'm glad to see already has a million views and is trending. That's Right #lackadaisy #WHICH i have been reading since at least '07 when i was thirteen my god b/c this animation is based on the ongoing webcomic #like does its influence show up Directly in some Discrete way i can point to in my art? not very easily probably. And Yet. #the inspiration....i wasn't able to be Regularly Only for at least another year / art done Nonprofessionally Online was novel to me #like wow ppl can make & post fanart of w/e they love huh....didn't know webcomics were a thing & i never really read that many since but. #good god the quality of Lackadaisy at its onset is like this is superb?? this person putting in all their talent and effort??? #and Then you get years & years more art and i don't even know what superlatives to throw out abt its quality as it evolves. obsessed w/it.. #if i see a new lackadaisy comic page i Will be acting out. obviously this animation is a delight & also stunning. and fascinating to also #juxtapose as a Translation / Interpretation of the comic in a different medium & standalone snippet of Story #and that we're not even quite there in the comic timeline; Taking Notes abt character info we get distilledly here....genuinely love like #take it back to '07 i'm like oh boy can't wait for the dream team to assemble. then a decade later when it did? Oh Boy. that is payoff lol #namely hooray for stitches and mudbug at the field office for every passing gangster. killing one marigold associate but not the other #which seems like a promising start to shootouts w/the other dream team triumvirate. i adore that in canon so far mordecai freckle & rocky #have met but only over a nice brunch. re: all intentions anyways. anyways i'm like Gifs Must Be Made while i'm also so riled afresh abt the #comic that i've been sooo hype for for over fifteen yrs now babeyyy Deservedly. i've done a couple of rereads & ought to do another.... #For Interest it'd probably take a few sittings to catch up from the start but there is much to be engaged over....this ongoing story that's #historical fiction prohibition bootlegging cats with plenty of focus on characters & several Mysteries. which i'm better at parsing now lol #like one of the more recent rereads like Oh Of Course x (probably) accidentally killed his y & z took the fall & that's a binding secret... #Not [oh of course] abt the circumstances surrounding a's death & how b & c were involved. nor the ''what's marigold's damage'' mystery #which is great. love to not know things. love that we can readily follow all the emergent drama everyone's wading in nowadays. hell yeah #anyways admire my organized approach to gifs here. four shots each Expressions Atmosphere Action Groupshots #sure might've muddled through gifmaking for this anyways but fr being a huge lackadaisy comic enjoyer for now most of my life helps #and its very Overall Inspiration like. just really getting the [you can really just draw stuff out here] going. fr the art's detail & skill #and that enrichment like i'm gonna have a great time following this. And I Have #you don't expect a crowdfunded indie animation in the mix back then but hell yeah fellas #SIGH ok removing a 4th gif that's broken / not displayed despite reuploading then entirely remaking it. if it's a bug i'll try again later

[skeletoninthemelonland]

a glimpse of what their early dynamic looks like

#i'm posting these in this blog first because i think its very silly #i could talk about them if you want me to #*ignores if you want to hear me or not and simply starts talking* #I think at some point during development i stopped thinking about them as 'mrs. afton and mr. afton' #it's funny knowing they were never supposed to meet at all #Ballora belongs to sister location. which takes place some time around 1983 or 1985 (Behind The Codes has its own canon timeline) #Fazbear's Fright happens in 2023. which is 30-40 years apart #but then we have Ultimate Custom Night. Everyone is trapped together in the same location seemingly with no chances of escaping. #if you think about it. they're just a part of this huge scrupulous plan #no one is predestined to anything. it's certainly not different for Springtrap and Ballora. #they are just... there. like everyone else #they are all linked in some way. all the clues tie back to the Missing Children Incident. #but... you're probably right. maybe there's more to it #maybe there is A Link rather than a link. you know what I mean? #Episode 3 will explore this and much more #for now. have these two idiots trying to figure out how to get out of trouble #behind the codes #fnaf #fnaf behind the codes #five nights at freddy's #ballora #springtrap #fnaf btc #my art #starbstalks

[batbabydamian]

Damian Wayne NYCC 2023 Remarks & Commissions!

Patrick Gleason

Jorge Jimenez

Dan Mora

Jorge Corona

Simone Di Meo

Dike Ruan

#damian wayne #i finally unpacked LOL 💀 #i’ll ramble about these at some point but all these artists were so kind and they really love art and creating and AHH it is v inspiring 😭 #ACTUALLY v quick rambles bc they r important to note for me #Simone pointed at the lil round robin and was like ‘this is my fav part :)’ LOL #the Gleason one was done in the RSOB hardcover :’) #CORONA’S. i actually left his table still admiring the commission before i noticed Damian didn’t have the iconic eyelashes #i was so embarrassed to go back to ask if he could add them but he was so nice about it!! i was v happy 😭 #beloved

[ewwww-what]

Do you guys think that Adaine and Aelwyn ever had tiny moments of solidarity in their young childhoods? Like a small glance across the kitchen table when their dad said something particularly uncomfortable at dinner, or a late night conversation in the kitchen that lasted a little bit longer than either of them really expected it to?

Like maybe Aelwyn would cast healing on a knee scrape that she most certainly was the cause of, or Adaine would make a quiet comment about a good test score she got to make her feel better about something. Maybe Aelwyn passively read up on calming panic attacks and anxiety episodes, while Adaine secretly wished she got to keep her sister’s old clothes as hand-me-downs. Maybe they used to hold hands when crossing the street, or did the dishes together, or smushed together on the couch so they could both read the same book.

I think that for as much as they have always “hated” each other, there have to have been moments where love seeped through. They lived in that house together, and as much as I know their experiences were wildly different, they both endured abuse and neglect at the hands of their parents. there has to have been some times where they aligned into some kind of more gentle understanding of one another even if only for a few moments.

#for all the hate and resentment there has to have been some love #love shown in very indirect and probably not very healthy ways #but love nonetheless #do you think in their teen years they see young siblings laughing and playing and ache for the childhoods they were robbed of #probably not #(I will never be normal or okay again) #if I misspelled aelwyn at any point please ignore it #fantasy high #d20 #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 #aelwyn abernant #aelwyn o'shaughnessey #adaine abernant #adaine o'shaughnessey #abernant sisters #adaine fantasy high #fh #txt post #god I hate them so much

[brother-emperors]

listen. listen, there's a kind of intimacy in having a dedicated rivalry, okay. who else is going to know you like this!!! also it's funny

Ascanio Maria Sforza: la parabola politica di un cardinale-principe del Rinascimento, Marco Pellegrini

Julius II: The Warrior Pope, Christine Shaw

and on della rovere’s soldier comment:

Popes, Cardinals and War: The Military Church in Renaissance and Early Modern Europe, D.S. Chambers

and finally! regarding the delightful Mess of political-family relationships, including the marriage comment (altho the montefeltro family that giovanni married into did have sforza family ties, since giovanna's mother was battista sforza, but this is about the more immediate alliance based relationship and della rovere's hand in the rejection of a milanese match for his brother. and. this is not even remotely a serious comic, but now I am once again thinking about insular all these families are. the fucking medicis are here too, if you go half a step to the left on della rovere's family tree)

Julius II: The Warrior Pope, Christine Shaw

Giulio II, Il papa del Rinascimento, Giulio Busi (Bianca Maria Visconti is Ascanio's mom. btw)

panel inserts of the cards they're playing with are all from the Visconti-Sforza tarot deck! (I used public domain scans/photos for the comic itself)

ko-fi!⭐ bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost ⭐ cara.app

#weeping. ascanio's dialogue covers up della rovere's sleeve collar. i spent all that time drawing details on it and FOR WHAT #(it was fun) #there was another deleted bit where ascanio has some petty line like 'i bet arguing makes you hard' but then i realized #that's something that lucullus would probably say to crassus and also i need to set that line up for ascanio #we gotta. we gotta character build (lays down face in the ground) we have to provide the character set up for it #it's really more of a line for cesare to drop at some point over how much rodrigo and ascanio argued #shout out to the time rodrigo threatened to throw ascanio into the tiber river or that time ascanio like. decided to physically get into #a fight with juan borgia #and they were still gambling partners after that????? damn okay. sometimes the vice chancellor can be (checks note) im not finishing #that statement #komiks tag #italian renaissance tag #ascanio sforza #giuliano della rovere #i WILL get a relationship dynamic tag for them once i can figure out something punchy and fun. anyway! #ehgh. I NEED. to go to milan. and go thru the archives. let me in. LET ME INNNNNNNNN

[sas-afras]

i kinda don’t get people who characterize maccready as like… secretly generous, or having a heart of gold or anything. like don’t get me wrong i don’t think he’s downright malicious or anything, but the dude is absolutely a selfish jerk once you get past the charming facade. that’s the part that’s compelling!

like, he’s nice enough and open enough with the player once you get high enough affinity with him, but his reactions to player actions still point to him being a jerk overall. the sosu just happens to be in His Circle of people he can be vulnerable with. that includes you, his son, and maybe daisy. everyone else can kick rocks, the same way it was in little lamplight

he HAD to grow up with that kind of “us vs the world, every man for himself” mentality in the capitol wasteland. doing so otherwise gets you killed or taken advantage of, which is just protracted death anyways. having grown up in a place where slavers run rampant, people are all pushing each other further down just to boost themselves up and live one more day, and it’s literally impossible to make renewable food sources because the ground is so poisoned i genuinely don’t blame him for ending up a little tight fisted. the fact that he was the mayor of little lamplight just meant that he ended up being able to accept a few people as His To Protect instead of being a total lone wolf.

the way he reacts to the players open generosity isn’t just for show, he Actually Dislikes when you give stuff away without expecting anything in return. you might need that thing and now its just gone!! that person might see you as a sucker! you give an inch and they’ll take a mile! and it makes sense for his character to be like that considering everything. i don’t get why people want to change that into him just being kind of tsundere.

i understand that having your babygirl blorbo comfort character be a canonical asshole in ways that aren’t just kinda charming can be offputting, but like…. the way he treats the sosu is a very notable exception to the rest of his life & it’s a much more interesting dynamic imo. especially if you’re playing a goody two shoes martyr. but that’s just me

#robert joseph maccready #i also have come to the realization that him disliking when you give austin the cure in v88 is in character #he doesn’t know shit about how medicine works #he just sees some magical cure being used on a random sheltered vault kid who got himself into this mess anyways #meanwhile *his son* is suffering #i also think his disdain towards being generous is because of the ‘if i can’t have it no one can’ mentality #similar to how astarion acts in bg3 #maccready didn’t have any help as a kid. he went through it all by himself. he had to suffer alone #seeing someone get treated with kindness after spending his whole life getting beat down #to the point where he just convinced himself that good people were made up entirely #it’s like a slap to the face #‘you mean this existed the whole time? people like YOU have been out here the whole time? and i was just unlucky?’ etc #idk i took two benadryls and now im cooking #not art

[egophiliac]

I was wanting to try doing an art piece in the style of the signature spell poster art pieces you create. But I’m not really the best at coming up with a composition for such a thing.

Do you have a process for how you come up with the compositions for them?

oh, awesome! it is an INCREDIBLY enjoyable style to work in; I hope you have fun with it! :D

I'm not great at putting my thought/art process into words, so my apologies if this doesn't make a lot of sense, but I'll try! my first step is always to do a LOT of thumbnails to figure out both the idea and how I want to show it; not trying to do a real sketch or anything, just little doodles to figure out what exactly I'm trying to portray. (I also call these "garbage passes" because they're not meant to be any good, they're just there to throw things out. aha. ha. ...anyway.) I think it's important during that first stage to really focus on the idea and the layout and not to get too bogged down in the actual drawing yet!

I tend to save my final thumbnails, so I'll use 'em as examples (I posted the ones up through episode 5 here if you're interested!) (and, uhhh, spoilers through episode 5 also in this post, hopefully that won't be an issue!)

the main thing I try to think about in composition is balance -- not necessarily in terms of symmetry, but in where each element is placed and how much space it's taking up. remember, empty space is still space! it's also really important to think about the parts that don't have anything in them, as much as the parts that do!

personally, I like to divide things up roughly by both halves and by thirds -- there's a lot more in-depth info out there on why the "rule of thirds" in particular works well visually, but in short, our brains tend to focus on things that are placed closer to imaginary division lines, instead of in the exact center of an image. so even when I'm doing something that is very centered and symmetrical, I try to keep that in mind and generally aim around those for landmarks like faces/eyes (or...where they would be, anyway) and other focal points.

it's not a formula of "the character's face should be in this division of this grid" or anything, more like "our minds like to focus on these areas, let's think about how to use that", if that makes sense! and of course rules are made to be broken, art is lawless anarchy, and so on. but it can be a good starting place for deciding where you want to put things!

(blue - thirds, red - half)

and against the finished versions, because they do usually end up changing a lot (including the empty space of the border):

(...these actually lined up a lot better than I thought they would. :') it makes me look like I do things way more intentionally than I do.)

other stuff I just try to keep in mind is that our eyes like following arcs and paths, which can be a good way to guide the eye:

and frame and control the focus:

honestly, composition is one of those things I feel like I struggle with a lot, so I'm not sure how much of this is helpful or actually makes sense outside of my head. but hopefully it helps a little! it's all just stuff to think about while drawing and not anything hard-and-fast, so don't, like, stress out about making sure things are lining up exactly on the thirds or anything. again, it's more "our brains think these are the dopest parts of the rectangle" than anything else! take advantage of the cool parts of the rectangle!

NOW GO HAVE FUN DRAWING seriously though, it is always super cool that other people like this idea and style enough to want to do it themselves and for other/their own characters! thank you! ❤️❤️❤️

#art #sketch #twisted wonderland #...technically i guess? it's not about twst but there is twst art present anyway #i did have a few more examples but then i wasn't sure if you were cool with episode 7 spoilers. whoops. 🫠 #many other people have explained the rule of thirds and directional flow way better than me and i apologize #it is so hard to put things into words i am so sorry #me: the...you know...the lines...they sort of converge? like a triangle? #the internet: mm-hmm. yes. go on. #me: (sweating) the...the triangle points here...because it...it has a point. #the internet: it's doing better than you are then #genuinely shocked at how well some of these line up though #uh. i mean. actually it was all totally intentional and i put actual thought into it! NOT an accident at all! #my eyes darting back and forth shiftily are just ✨following the paths✨

[svtskneecaps]

i'm still stuck on the purgatories so here's a list of purgatory 2 moments simply off the top of my head that deserve to be remembered:

aimsey ducking all of axolotl team alone in a cave with literally half a heart

goose gang fucking descending on the raccoon base and absolutely wrecking shop

ethan crankgameplays clutching up for team panda during the capture the flag game by being the only one hanging out in the center and periodically checking the chests, earning them a shitton of flags and clutching multiple rounds

crow team's egg taking 0 damage

pac doxxing goose gang's egg in the last second

shelby shubble as the last member of her team online writing a letter to aimsey and sharing the world's most devastating ten minutes before her team was eliminated with one of the eye creatures (coco? i forgot lol)

badboyhalo absolutely fucking DEMOLISHING the battleship event on like 2 hours of sleep and a dream

wuant(?) stealing a tv from the battleship event and then playing portuguese ice age on it for the crows lmfao

tubbo djing for his team while waiting for the time for a goose gambit

theguill CRASHING THROUGH THE FUCKING CEILING of the raccoon team's hidey hole like the fucking kool aid man in a last effort to save his team and 4v1 or 5v1 ing team raccoon; he lost but that was such an epic fucking moment

theguill and etoiles pvping and each hyping the other's skills the entire time

seapeekay escaping cellbit and baghera and then stealing their boats and rocketing past to tease them about it; that shit was iconic

kenny going mad with power collecting sand on literally day 1

the english speaking squirrels taking actual physical notes on portuguese phrases (i think)

lgbtiba

i may add more this is an off the top of my head list but like got DAMN i like these events :D i like them a lot

#qsmp #qsmp purgatory 2 #qpurgatory 2 #there hope those filter for u fuckers #(/affectionate) #shut up vic #block game brainrot #if you can't tell my povs went something like this: #crab -> raccoon -> panda -> capybara -> goose -> crow #so i didn't watch all of them lmfao #i only spent a few hours with raccoon and crab; panda i caught all of #capybara and goose i mostly watched on their elimination day #crow i hopped into on the final day as well tho i'd been keeping some tabs on them previously #just not concentrated watching #i like purgatories :D #to be clear though i hope they don't run purg 3 until like november 2024 at the absolute EARLIEST #the staff is NOT at the point they can handle it yet lol not for a while #the fact that one of the ex devs said they were already talking about purg 3 was crazy #like i'm patient i'm not nuts let's cook this one #this is neglecting to mention the post-server close calls which are my favorite part of the event no contest #oh yeah and i also have issues w how some of the special events work #those need some tweaking it's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination #but i enjoy it :) it has good moments

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

More MDZS and Hollow Knight! The cool bugs I found in my backyard have started to unionize.

Part 1 - Part 3

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #hollow knight #mdzs au #mdzs hollow knight au #Once again not tagging all the characters due to sheer volume #Thanks for the warm and lovely reception on the first part of this crossover! #even people who haven't heard of hollow knight were very sweet and excited. #I redrew and redesigned some of the characters that people were asking to see #and while I still think I could play around with them a little more I'm pretty happy with the results B*) #JGY getting kicked down the stairs is part of his personality at this point. Of course I had to introduce him as such #Im pretty sure its not JZX who kicks him the first time but birthday boy on birthday boy violence is too funny to pass up #Madam yu being mosskin-like but distinctly not from the same clan was pretty important to me when designing her. But I was at such a loss! #By *chance* I saw The Hunter's design and thought 'YEAH THATS THE ONE'. Let milfs be terrifying. #Little apple originally was gonna be 'the girl who's backyard this all takes place in' but ....little bug steed.... #In case you are wondering whether the Lan juniors are suspicious of the fact LSZ has twice as many legs: No. He's 'just like that' to them. #Part three will be in less than a week! Time to see the other side of the crossover! #I am so happy that I can draw silly crossovers and have people cheering me on! Yippee!

[inkskinned]

you were raised in comparison.

it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.

you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.

you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.

what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.

it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.

you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.

you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?

a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.

you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.

it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.

something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.

#writeblr #warm up #my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky #i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles #yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help #for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT #and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen #than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say #''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help #i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.'' #bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't #actually offer fair support to everyone #we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less. #and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help #bc i DID have it better than other people #and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help. #we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn #instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself

[99laundry]

the 2024 lineup for wwwy fest edited to only include acts featuring at least one woman or nonbinary person. Of the 52 bands listed, only 6 qualify (11%).

unedited lineup under the cut

***if i have made any mistakes or misidentified anyone please reach out and I will update the post

#wwwy fest #wwwy #when we were young fest #okay i know the era/genre was pretty male dominated but like. im peeved about this #there are plenty of bands you could have reached out to that arent just cis dudes. and yet #at some point it all really just becomes a self fulfilling joke #also dont talk to me about how terrible my editing skills are. i know.

[crimson-nail]

i have been cooking an over-complicated roleswap au for. a VERY long time

#mix of tristamp/trimax where i cherry-pick my favorite plot points designs and characters to create the ultimate mess of an au #just how i like it #unfortunately ‘group of dysfunctional shitheads find themselves having to collaborate’ is one of my fav tropes of all time #it’s not a 1:1 roleswap #more of a. narrative role swap? place/purpose in the story moreso than actions #some are more straight-forward #others are based on vibes #knives and vash easy. legato and meryl easy. elendira and milly is more hand-wavy but it makes sense i swear #i asked myself “what would happen if they were in this scenario? how would it change if a diff personality handled it? #and how they were shaped differently by the world due to the slight shift in story #it’s a lot of fun! i’m enjoying planning it. will i ever write it? who knows!! #‘what are the ships’ ‘yes.’ #you’ve heard of polygun now get ready for polygung #trigun #trigun stampede #trigun maximum #charlie’s art #millions knives #elendira the crimsonnail #legato bluesummers #livio the double fang #razlo the tri punisher of death #swap au #roleswap au #designs

[luck-of-the-drawings]

IM SO IN LOVE WITH VAMPIRES!! and boy do i love THE SUCKENING!! VERY excited to see the misadventures of sad wet cat, sharp angry cat, and the COOLEST cat i ever did see

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #some of these were drawn with MOUSE and others were made with my COOL NEW TABLET OOOOHYEAH!! #I JUST FINISHED EP 3 AND OOOHHH MY GGOD. OHHH MY GOOOODD IM IN LOVE WITH EACH OF THESE CHARACTERS #LIKE ARTHUR OH MMY GOOODD ARTHUR FUCKIN BENNEEETTT #SO CONFIDENT SO COOL I FUCKIN LOVE THOSE JUST. UNBREAKABLY CONSTANTLY STOIC CHARACTERS #HIS LIKE CATCH PHRASE. HIS TO-THE-FUCKING-POINT BEHAVIOR #HES LIke a hard candy with TRAGIC GOO TRAPPED INSIIDEEE he is a mollusk to me and i wanna break opEN THAT SHHHEELLL BABYYYY #AND SPEAKIN OF SHELLLSS emizel oh mmy god little guy #i KNOW hes softer than he lets on. and yet i wanna see him bite and attack more people and set things ablaze #i wanna fund his research. and by research i mean arson #AND OOHH SHILLOOO lil prince shilo hes my small baby boy whos okay with death as long as he doesnt have to see #THERES SOMETHING RRRROTTEN AT THE CORE OF THIS BEAUTIFUL APPLE PIE #AND I CANT WWWAIT TO SEE WHAT COMES OF IT #ALSO FUNFACT!! im tryin to make emizel n shilo look more similar #so if u CLOSELY LOOK u will see that their hair is similar. noses n face shapes are the same. they have Heart shapes in their bangs #also unrelated but im a lil in love with deacon keller.... i just rly like cowboys.... like i just think hes neat.... yeehaww #I ALSO LOVE KITTIEESSS ALL THE LIL KITTY SOUNDS IN THIS SHOW ARE SO CUTE... #i heard 'gray cat with round orange eyes' n immediately thought of tama from jjba. yknow the stray cat? dies and becomes magic plant?yeaaaa #cant wait for more. ill scream abt what happened in ffUUUCUKKIGNG EPSIODE 3 LATER BC OH MMY GGOOODDDD!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!

[jamietwat]

Jamie would 100% make Roy a dating app profile sometime after the Keeley rejecting both of them thing to try to help him move on and meet people when clearly he’s refusing to get back out there organically and he’d think he’s being so helpful and generous and the best wingman ever. He’d handpick what he considers the sexiest pictures he can find and put a bunch of shit Roy would never say thinking he’s being accurate and helpful and not even taking the clear opportunity to make a joke account to embarrass him or anything when he easily could have just made fun of him and chosen the worst pictures possible instead

And then he would be SO offended when it doesn’t go well when Roy finds out about it and is not properly appreciative at all

Roy thinks it’s Jamie’s account when he starts showing Roy girls like what do you think of her and asking him way too many questions when Roy has no interest in participating and has no idea why the fuck Jamie seems incapable of swiping without trying to get Roy’s opinions first. Meanwhile, Roy’s giving one word answers at first and then increasingly trying to brush him off when he doesn’t stop and then he’s just flat out like “Choose your own dates and leave me the fuck out of it” and Jamie’s like “Nah, this is your account. You should have a say” and instead of being grateful and appreciative and thanking Jamie for being oh so generous with his time and energy, Roy just scowls at him and growls out “You did not make a fucking Tinder profile for me” and Jamie just smirks and decides now is not the right moment yet to mention that he actually made him accounts on like three different apps because he wasn’t sure which Roy would like best

Roy barks at him to delete it and Jamie’s all whiny like “Come on, I spent a lot of time on these and you haven’t even considered it. Plus, even if you’re not ready to date someone yet, you’d still be less miserable to be around if you at least found someone to shag in the meantime”

And Roy’s like “Delete it. I don’t want a fucking Tinder profile.” And Jamie looks at him confused for a moment and then seems to have an epiphany as he goes “Oh, do you want a Grindr one instead? Hold on a second” and he flips to a different app and Roy’s too busy being baffled by the fact that Grindr is already on Jamie’s phone and that he’s having to sign out of his own account to try to make one for Roy to even stop him before he’s already trying to sign up for a new account and Roy goes “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want any dating app”

And Jamie pauses his typing and turns and looks at him so skeptically and so judgily and suddenly somehow Roy is trying to fight for his life trying to defend why he’s not looking for some random stranger to date or fuck around with

#Also a possibility: Jamie not signing out of his and asking Roy what he thinks of #guys and when Roy is like stop that why did you make me a Grindr profile why are you swiping on guys and even if you were WHY that one #And Roy’s trying to get the phone out of Jamie’s hand and when he does Jamie’s like stop that’s my account let me swipe #on him I was just trying to find out what kind of guys you’d be into before making yours 😔 #+ Roy being so critical of Jamie’s taste in men like him??? seriously??? because the idea of Jamie messaging any of them bothers him #I may turn this into a RoyJamie fic at some point or possibly RoyJamie that has Keeley later too #Obviously Roy’s brain obsesses over Jamie’s Grindr profile and what he may or may not be doing with it just as much as he obsesses over #Jamie in general after this and he’s stuck trying to figure out how to casually bring it back up to him #(Spoiler alert: it’s Roy so it absolutely won’t be casual and yet Jamie won’t care that it isn’t at all #) #Jamie would GLADLY be the one fucking around with Roy but he’s also out here advocating for Roy to fuck in general #RoyJamie #Roy Kent #Jamie Tartt #Ted Lasso #Mine #Grindr fic #Putting that there for when I come back to this because I have a lot of thoughts #Once again I refuse to reread words and edit rn so I’ll just be bummed about the errors later