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luvmagician · 1 year

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Ok, I'll be the one, Fubuki!!

you didnt say which number so i answered all 30 of them

1. My first impression of them

me and GX really had an enemies to lovers arc i could barely sit through the first episode after finishing DM the guitar stings were too much. i did not care much for any of the characters. it grew on me though we are besties now obvs

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them, if you've sent me a character I don't like)

i think i realized how much i liked S1 nightshroud first bc i love campy and ostentatious femme villains and then my love spread to regular fubuki around the time i got to s4 and then he graduated to a proper Blorbo and well the rest is history…

3. A song that reminds me of them

go fish by cub (ask me no more questions / ill tell you no more lies / about my sweet little trip to the other side) also obligatory fubuki playlist link

4. How many people I ship them with

off the top of my head 4 (ryo yusuke reggie manga!jim) but my interpretations tend to stretch the definition of “ship”

5. My favorite ship of them

idols hehe ^_^ lh4wds couple (lighthouse 4 wine dark sea)

6. My least favorite ship of them

theres not any i particularly dislike to be honest. hes a charismatic guy.

7. A quote of them that you remember

WHEN STAGE LIGHT HITS YOU THAT WHICH IS BEHIND YOU IS SACRIFICED TO SHADOW ! 🌟

8. Your favorite outfit of them

first i have to come out as an turn 60 austin powers cosplay enjoyer so sue me the purple looks nice on him secondly HIS LADY OSCAR OUTFIT!!! I WISH I COULD PICK THE BRAIN OF THE ANIMATOR WHO PUT HIM IN HER OUTFIT SOOO BAD ITS EVERYTHING TO ME

9. Your least favorite outfit of them

nightshroud outift but only when its lit by cool lighting and looks gray thats when its ugly when its lit warm and looks brown its flattering!! see theres a stark difference here!!

10. Describe the character in one sentence

11. What's the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

“BUKI!!! :)” <- too happy to formulate coherent thoughts

12. Sexuality hc!

little bisexual weirdo

13. Your favorite friendship they have

manjoume and him are so sweet and funny thats his little guy. thats the chihuahua to his valley girl

14. Best storyline they had

season 4 makes me screammm its about absence as a presence its about how running from something only gives it more power over you its about confronting the horrors and chosing to live with them instead of dying to escape them…

15. Worst storyline they had

the jokes around his treatment of asuka in the show proper arent Great but i have a thick enough skin to slough through it… that being said the flanderization he endures in the spinoff games especially cross duel SUUCCKKK the “trying to marry off my bitch sister” jokes werent funny in 2004 they arent funny now STOP TRYING TO BRING THEM BACK. even more of a bummer bc i think his love for love and romance are such endearing parts of his character seeing them flattened down into bad jokes makes me -___-

16. childhood headcanon

regularly held concerts for an audience of his stufffed animals drew flyers to hand out and everything it was a whole production.

17. What do you think their first word was?

he needs attention. something attention grabbing like “HI” or “HEY!” or “ME!” something like that

18. How do you think they were as a kid? (Like, were they shy, noisy, wild, etc)

he was just as outgoing and chipper but also.. yk he was an emotional feminine kid with long hair who didnt like conflict and kids are mean.. but i think asuka looked out for him a lot and beat up his bullies

19. The most random ship you've seen people have with them

fubuki/shoji (manjoumes older brother) is so funny. i love it btw i think its such a serve and there are interesting ways you can spin it like yess fubuki chase the childhood you barely got to live by hooking up with a man who looks eerily like your highschool protege and maybe gold dig while your at it

20. A weird headcanon

i think him and asuka grew up in the middle of bumfuck nowhere (nowhere near the ocean he just picked up surfing really fast his freshman year) and them and the marufujis have a lil country mouse city mouse thing going on. and i draw him with rubber bands on his fingers to help with his memory issues :)

21. When do you think they were at their happiest?

freshman year of duel academy he was on top of da world baby

22. When do you think they were at their lowest?

the almost two years he spent in the nihilism nightmare depression hell dimension or the day he found out Prince died

23. Future headcanon

he does acting and entertainment dueling and shows up on variety shows and keeps teasing his album but refuses to release it until he he can get asuka to feature on a song. if he did ever release music all his music videos concepts would have a rich interlocking story ala the loonaverse

24. What do you think is a secret they have that they never told anyone?

he dodges questions about the darkness BIG TIME and even lies about like the time he lies to judais face about how oh im fine :) the darkness isnt in me anymore :) he really doesnt want to worry people i think he goes to his grave with just how much his time there sucked and how he suffered afterward. i dont think he would ever tell ryo or asuka how bad it really was

25. When do you think they acted the most ooc

this is hard hes on screen like 4 times

26. When do you think they were being "themselves" the most?

fubuki is always himself even at the absolute height of his performance and apparent detachment from reality because the act of performance is so baked into his character he would not be truly “himself” without it. he is both the mask and the wearer.

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

HE SHOULD MEET JOEYYY i think joey wheeler is his personal hero… also him and ryan akagi from infinity train book 4 could absolutely kick it. two dudes who want to become rock stars and were trapped in hell/purgatory for a while

28. The most unnecessary thing they ever did?

the pensive ukulele strumming to punctuate his revenge monologue to kagemaru

29. How do you think they would be as a parent? (and if they are a parent, how do you think they would be if they weren't?)

I THINK HED BE A GREAT PARENT !!! a bit overbearing and doting but only bc he loves so so much.. hed be so good with young kids until they grow into teens and realize hes cringe

30. The funniest scene they had?

gotta be dropping down from the ceiling to call gay people “taboo and thrilling” and his sister homophobic

if you made it this far.. thank you for indulging my craziness 💖

#fubuki tenjoin #atticus rhodes #ask meme

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lindszeppelin · 1 year

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She's telling people to block her, but then allows her friends to send her screenshots of people talking about her. That's what we mean when we say she has spies stalking people for her. People who blocked her are being stalked by her friends. I didn't want to put my story out here, but y'all cowardly anon Mollie shooters left me no choice.

I know this because it happened to me on twitter. I have her blocked there (and here), and I discovered that she somehow got a screenshot of my tweet, probably because her friend was following my page (which, I should add, is private! No one can see my tweets unless they're following me) and clearly told her I was telling someone else about her. In my defense, it was because that someone else was asking about gossip she had heard. Gossip that Mollie's spreading.

I hate to admit that I was once a follower of Mollie's, and I once tried interacting with her here and on twitter. But I regret it because every time I tried talking to her, I'd get ignored. So I gave up and soon realized that I had made a mistake in thinking she was a decent human being.

There's a reason the Broadway fandom dislikes her and still talks about her now that she's left that fandom. She's not making many friends here either. And if she has friends telling her that people are talking about her, maybe she should listen to them and not make jokes about it instead. If she's really hurt by it, then her friends are shitty for telling her that people talk about her. But she's clearly not hurt, since she made her layout dedicated to what people have said about her.

If she hates people talking about her, then she needs to really think about how the people she gossips about feel. But she didn't listen to the people who already came forward to her with their feelings, so I doubt she gives a damn about the people she claims to stan or their publicists coming across her blog and reading what she wrote about them.

Austin said his publicist told him all about the voice discourse and now he's self-conscious and is doubting himself/his voice. How do we know that he isn't also aware of Mollie taking the rumor Vanessa's fans started about him cheating with Olivia and using it as a hot topic for her blog, imagine how he'd feel if he discovered that his own fans now think he's a cheater because of her blog. Olivia is all but slut shamed in those posts about her and Austin, so imagine how she'd feel if she knew about them. I'm also sure Kaia wouldn't appreciate being a topic in the blog either.

Except we're not gossiping about her, and we're not bullying or harrassing her. We're all sharing our stories because we deserve to be heard. If she has a problem with that, then she should practice what she preaches. Use the block button. Her friends should block us too instead of coming at us for saying how we feel.

If you know your friend is triggering people with her gossip, is ignoring people's feelings, is acting like our feelings don't matter and you're letting her act this way, that says a lot about you as a person.

hi diva babe, thank you for coming forward with your story <3 you've got a safe space here to share about your experience. and im so sorry to hear that she harassed you

i will say that yes i agree, its not like austin is okay with gossip. he clearly does not like it and stays away from it. and he is affected mentally by it. so...the topic of gossip is really one that should be boiled down to gossip inherently is toxic and can feed upon negative perpetuations of real life people

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charlotteweekly · 4 years

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The Day I Found Out Video Stores Were Not Dead.

I was wandering around Austin, Texas when I saw it: a video store. Located on Airport Blvd, it was waiting for me. I was overcome with euphoria and nostalgia. I felt like a kid at Toys “R” Us.

I entered and there I was, transported back to the nineties, early 2000’s; where “Clerks” meets “Be Kind Rewind”. Joy. Happiness. The employee at the counter was the exact image I was picturing myself of someone working at a video store. He was a perfect cliché of the movie geek with a twist of a Gus Van Sant character. I wondered if they hired him by coincidence or if it was purely deliberate. I passed him and I started noticing every detail of the place from the old movie posters hanging on the wall, to every genre duly organized in sections. “Lord of the Rings” was playing on an old CRT television, full of chromatic aberrations, which was giving a green and purple complexion to Gandalf and Frodo.

I walked every aisle of the store to find some hidden gems here and there. There even was a section on Vampires, my favorite horror movies.

Then, I walked up the stairs, because, yes, there is a second floor where every movie is sorted by famous directors’ names and I strolled to the rich foreign films area filled with titles I’ve never even heard of. It was really a blast for a film buff like me. I sure have some knowledge but, still, they were able to surprise me.

I lost track of time but my rumbling tummy reminded me that it was time to go. I spent one hour and a half in this magical place without even realizing it.

Did I end up renting a DVD? Sure thing, I even rented three of them. My first pick was an animated series from the nineties created by Al Jean and Mike Reiss (best known from their work on “the Simpsons”) called “The Critic”. It follows Jay Sherman, a New York film critic, who dislikes almost every movie he is reviewing. Quite funny, an underrated cartoon that went under the radar.

Then “Eyes of Laura Mars”, a thriller from the seventies written by John Carpenter, a bit sluggish for my taste but it will meet De Palma’s fan club expectations (even if it’s not directed by De Palma).

And lastly: “Jaws”. It seemed an obvious choice for a movie night. I had the perfect trio. I always like having a comedy on hand to brighten the mood after I watched a horror movie.

That done, I ended up paying quite a bunch of money though totally worth it. I’ve been missing this experience and adventure a lot since streaming platforms have come to light. I understand that for the same price as a Netflix subscription you only get three DVD’s and you gotta move your ass and drive but to get things straight, if I told you I had two tickets for a baseball game would you chose to watch it on your TV screen? Maybe… but it wouldn’t bring the same thing.

Video stores remind me of my childhood when, every weekend, I went out with my parents to pick and discovered some amazing movies I will never forget. It’s like going to the movies, it’s a whole ceremonial, buying your tickets, eating your bucket of popcorn and drinking Coke while enjoying the first minutes of legendary jingles from movie Majors, being completely caught in this big rectangle, surrounded by nothing else but this dark room (and, sometimes, annoying chewing noises). Online streaming on my couch will never bring that same sentiment. Even if I enjoy it too, it is not thrilling. I also noticed that, most of the time, when watching Netflix and whatnot, I end up tired of scrolling and I always select something out of spite.

Well, anyway, on my way back home, I noticed at the corner of the street, a little donut shop called “Mrs. Johnson’s Bakery”. Homemade donuts, everyday, since 1948. The perfect time to stop by is at the opening, seven thirty p.m. (yes, it’s quite peculiar), when the donuts are warm and soft. I bought a few of them and I was packed for the perfect evening!

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grvtification · 4 years

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( winston duke, male, he/him ) get this — i was coming home from work today and managed to get a good look at ELIJAH HOLT, and i almost got into a car accident. they sure are gorgeous, huh ? i heard they’re THIRTY-SIX, and moved to wisteria court about NINE YEARS ago, and that they’re currently THE OWNER OF ACHILLES NIGHTCLUB + SEX EMPORIUM. i’ve also heard that they’re HOMOSEXUAL and really into ROUGH SEX, SUBMISSIVE BOTTOMS, & CHOKING. what’s juiciest of all is that HIS PARENTS HAVE GONE BROKE AND THEY’RE HARASSING HIM FOR MONEY, but you didn’t hear that from me, got it ? i’m just glad i’ll be seeing much more of them around.

hey guys! i’m linny, and this is one of my muses, elijah. if you’d like to plot with him, feel free to drop a like on this and i’ll message you! or you can add me on discord at the moon print#9259

BASICS

full name: elijah montgomery holt age: thirty-six d.o.b: june 24th sexuality: homosexual hometown: austin, texas nationality: trinbagonian–american ethnicity: trinbagonian pronouns: he/him

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

height: 6′5″ weight: 210lbs eye color: brown hair color: brown scar(s): none birthmark(s): small birthmark on his butt

PERSONALITY

positive traits: friendly, charming, loyal negative traits: stubborn, possessive, protective dislikes: rainy days, ignorant people, intolerant people likes: sunny days, sex, music, working out, hiking, drawing

FAMILY

husband: dallas caldwell children: hunter caldwell-holt, twin #2 caldwell-holt, silas caldwell-holt parents: derrick and marie holt siblings: none

SEX

preferred sexual position: top kinks: rough sex, submissive bottoms, choking, dirty talk, double penetration, fisting, toys, tba. anti-kinks: scat, gore, vore

elijah was born to two wealthy parents down in an affluent community in austin, texas back on june 24th, 1983. both of his parents came from money. his father’s father passed down a business to him and his mother’s parents were well known doctors back in the republic of trinidad and tobago.

he was raised to have the best of everything, but he never really developed a spoiled personality. he’s always been a very kind and sincere kind of guy, no matter how spoiled he was growing up.

he first started realizing he was gay when he was pretty young, like nine or ten, but he kept it hidden for years until he was eighteen years old. when he came out to his parents, he was pretty much almost immediately thrown out and disowned. they gave him a fraction of his trust fund (which only equalled about a hundred thousand dollars) and sent him off on his way.

he used the money to fund his college education and picked up a part time job to get money for other essentials and needs. he studied business management and hospitality. he got a job as soon as he graduated as the manager of a hotel and worked there for a few years until he met his husband and they eventually got married

he actually saved up all of the money he used to open achilles’ nightclub + sex emporium. he didn’t want to use his husband’s money (he’s a very proud person when it comes to asking for help lol he hates doing that), so he continued working as a hotel manager until he made enough money to do so.

now that his establishment is up and running and doing rather well, his parents are now hassling him about giving them money because his father gambled them into debt and his mother’s parents aren’t willing to bail them out any longer.

#post: elijah.#wc:intro #i'll post malachi's tomorrow!

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spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia · 4 years

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SpongeGuy Reviews Every Disney Sitcom Ever!: Austin and Ally (1.1): “Rockers and Writers”

cI came, I saw, I.. Was ok with it.

Austin and Ally is a show about two people whose names you’ll never guess. It follows the adventures of Austin Moon, current internet music sensation and Ally Dawson, a shy but talented songwriter. Together, these two very different people try to make it in the music industry.

I remember when this show was SUPER POPULAR it aired all the time, and thanks to seeing a minute here a minute there I thought I would hate it.

And... I’m ok with it. Like, it’s not bad, it’s not great, it’s not quite good but it’s slightly good?

It’s hard to pin this one down so far, obviously once I’ve seen a few more episodes I will (I also must add thanks to an Even Stevens fan who contacted me about this that Yes, I am reviewing all the episodes when possible, not just the first one or two).

So... Yeah, let’s get to it!

SUMMERY: Ally Dawson, a shy songwriter, works at Sonic Boom, a music store owned by her father, Lester, located at the Mall of Miami. Austin Moon, an aspiring singer, interrupts Ally while she is in her practice room, singing a rough cut of "Double Take". Unbeknownst to Ally, Austin and his best friend, Dez, accidentally use the song thinking Austin wrote it himself, create a video, and post it on the Internet, after which Austin becomes an Internet sensation. After performing the song on "The Helen Show", Helen suggests that Austin returns and performs another original song. Austin isn't good at song-writing, and the only solution he can think of is to plead with Ally to write another song for him. Ally initially denies in anger, but later agrees to help him. The two bond while working on their next song, "Break Down the Walls", and Austin asks Ally to be there when he performs it. However, when the pianist gets sick, Ally has to fill in. This was all part of Austin's plan to help Ally overcome her stage fright, but it only ends in disaster. However, Austin and Ally become partners, along with Dez as video director, and Ally's best friend, Trish, as Austin's manager.

COMEDY: 3 Out of 5

Originally I was gonna give a 2, as this show wasn’t really funny, but the more I dwelt on it, the more I realized how unfair I was being, so I gave a 3. And I think this might be a good time to go over how disney channel sitcoms don’t all have the same humor despite attempting many of the same jokes.

Example: Liv and Maddie and Good Luck Charlie are your average sitcoms (in fact, their template are about half of every sitcom that’s isn’t a “high concept”), but despite this they have more unique senses of humor (snark, mockumentary interviews, characters are multi-faceted, humor doesn’t undercut the moment).

On the other side of that, we have Lab Rats and Pair of Kings. Both have different, interesting concepts for a sitcom (Bionic teens and two brothers who are kings of an island). However, they attempt the same jokes we’ve seen over and over again, alongside some asshole humor (Lab Rats does it better but still).

In other words, contrary to popular belief, a sitcom can be a sitcom like you’ve seen over and over and OVER again. But that doesn’t mean it can’t work. The proof is in the pudding: The 3 best ones I’ve seen so far are all about families and learning to live with each other and stuff like that, your typical sitcom fodder.

So then we get to Austin and Ally. It’s your typical disney sitcom with a sort of high concept: Someone wants to be a music star because Disney are good at finding those and Hannah Montana was such a success, another person is helping them/falling for them/their opposite. BOOM. Recipe for success.

And the humor for the most part (there is a little snark and some surprisingly ok visual humor and slapstick) is your typical sitcom humor, with the obvious gags, the idiot jokes, the teen humor, yada yada.

But I didn’t groan. Maybe it’s because of the leads, maybe it’s the atmosphere, but for once, a few sitcom jokes and a little snark went a long way. In a weird way, it’s Good Luck Charlie’s humor but less fun. But... Well, it worked for me! It’s hard to explain these things sometimes.

But maybe it boils down to characters, and how the two leads are surprisingly likable.

CHARACTERS: 3 Out of 5

First of all, let’s be honest: I was always gonna like Ally. She’s level headed, relatable, understandable, adorkable, shy, smart. Hard not to like her! No wonder she got a high position right now in the character ranking lists. And it was fun to be in her world for a bit.

The real surprise for me was Austin. While I have nothing against Ross Lynch (in fact I like his singing in Teen Beach Movie) the channel overexposed him a lot and I tend to dislike those kind of actors. That and his character is an idiot, so that was worrying.

But to my surprise, Austin was more of a PJ in Good Luck Charlie than a Brady Bunch and Ok Boomer from Pair of Kings. He’s an idiot, for sure, but more of the sweet, gullible, well meaning kind. I mean, any episode where a character accidentally steals a song (which is actually totally possible according to a friend of mine) and doesn’t come off as a jerk is impressive, but even when he tries to help Ally lose her stage fright by showing her on stage when she asked him not to comes off as him trying his best and not him being a dick. And Ally does sort of get revenge on him, so there’s that.

So yeah, the two leads are fun, sometimes even funny characters with well defined personalities and no asshole tendencies. That’s super!

Sadly, the rest of the cast falls flat for now (and I understand they get worse so YEESH). Tish (PAUL BLART’S DAUGHTER) is that kind of annoying best friend you see in so many of these, and Dez is the idiot best friend you see in most of these, and they’re just... They’re just like that the entire episode. Their running gags of getting fired and coming up with stupid merch ideas aren’t bad but they’re not great, and I prefered it when it was just Austin and Ally. Lester, Ally’s dad, is also possibly gonna hurt the show according to my research.

Also this is a small thing but the Ellen Degeneres parody is so true to real life I’m shocked it’s not.

Anyway, yeah, a weak cast outside of two surprisingly likable leads.

STORY AND HEART: 3 Out of 5

I was gonna give a 2 here as well but decided to bump it up to 3. Why? Because is was surprisingly invested (I used that word a lot today). It was a typical story, no doubt about it, but I still enjoyed it. I usually use this segment to sum up my thoughts, so I think it’s best put like this. This was a basic, average story. There was NOTHING new here. You’ve seen this a million times.

I still liked it. I didn’t LOVE it, but I liked it. It was fun in it’s own way, it was ok. I found myself struggling to sum up my feelings for this yesterday, and I think I know why. We as consumers have massive expectations. We want originality and subversion, yet also nostalgia. We want to be surprised, but we also want things to go exactly the way we think they should. We want something new, yet also old.

Austin and Alley isn’t as funny and breezy as Liv and Maddie. It’s not as wacky as Phil of the Future. Not as relatable as Stuck In The Middle, not as high quality as Good Luck Charlie, not as life like as Even Stevens. At the same time, it’s not as disappointing as Lab Rats, average as Dog With A Blog, Mediocre as So Random, annoying as Pair of Kings and kind of meh as Bunk’d.

It’s just ok. And... I think that’s ok. Not every show needs to be the second coming. Old tropes are used a lot for a reason, not just out of laziness but because they work. And sometimes, what we need after a long day is something that’s just ok and makes you smile.

I smiled watching this. I didn’t wish for something else. I just let myself enjoy something that wasn’t that great but wasn’t that bad.

Sometimes, we just need a smile.

And that’s ok. :)

FINAL SCORE: 9 Out of 15

Wow I didn’t expect that score or for me to get so philosophical, but here we are. I liked this, so I look forwards to the next one.

Anyway, next time we have Lizzie McGuire! Cool! I was waiting for that one! High expectations for this one!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/100qHOP9aQ1AmKbrYuc--CQAP3LQnHfsS/edit#heading=h.nh4udkykrnki (I should add that the theme song wasn’t ranked because I need to hear it again to re-evaluate it)

#austin and ally #ross lynch #disney #disney channel #disney sitcoms #bob sponge #review every disney show

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luckydicekirby · 5 years

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Hello yes I would like a dvd commentary on a history of partings thanks

Well first of all obviously this story was mainly written to cause you specifically pain, so jot THAT down. Mostly I really wanted like, a good long Alyosha/Arrell backstory and like…no one else was gonna write it…not even Austin…so alas this burden fell to me. I have toyed with the idea of writing Arrell’s version of this but god, it would be so depressing.

Anyway! Here’s the mind meld scene, you’re welcome.

Story here!

Later–a few hours or days, I was not sure–I awoke, feverish, to see you bent over me, your hands clasped tight around one of mine. I thought for a moment that you were casting a spell, but I quickly realized that in fact you were murmuring the words of a prayer, so quiet I could barely make them out.

Arrell PRAYING as the obvious Oh Geez Things Are Bad marker, of course.

I still don’t know whether that moment was a dream, a conjured fantasy of mine: the idea that I could be the only thing you would dare to have faith for. But, figment or not, your prayer worked, and the next time I awoke my mind was clear once again. You weren’t there. I spared a moment to be upset before I heard you speak, clear as if you were standing in front of me: I went out to get food. I’ll be back soon, Alyosha. And underneath your words I could hear a heartbeat, running much quicker than my own. My mouth tasted acrid. I stood up shakily to drink some water, but the bitterness on my tongue remained. I realized, as my breathing began to pick up, that it was your fear.

This was a scene I really wanted to get into this fic because I do really love the idea that Arrell is just….Deeply Afraid, all the time. And like it does not excuse what an unforgivable jerk he is! But it does make me really sad. My capacity to be sad about jerks truly is boundless.

You had used this spell on me once or twice before, although never for long. Once so that I could run an errand for you, to choose the right book from a large stock that a merchant carried. Another time so that I could give you directions to a particular bakery I wanted you to buy my favorite rolls from. A third time on a rare occasion when we travelled together, to ensure that neither of us became lost. Simple and frivolous things like that. But it did not work the way that it should. You had explained it to me: this spell was meant for simple communication between minds. And any other time you used it, that was how it worked. But between us, our thoughts bled together like cheap ink on paper, and nothing you did could stop it.

Dungeon World: Yeah so telepathy is just like, a normal telepathy spell that works to send messages, nothing weird here!

Me: Okay but what if it was a fucked up involuntary mind meld thing in this specific instance? You know just for fun?

Anyway, I think them using telepathy so Alyosha could give him directions to a bakery is really cute. Nothing is more romantic than bread! Just ask Hella.

The mystery and intimacy of it bothered you and delighted me. But you never agreed to test it further, to discover precisely why this spell worked differently when you used it on me, rather than anyone else.

Arrell obviously being like. Can’t let my boyfriend read my mind he might find out about the oncoming heat death of the universe, and actually try to help me with that! God I hate him.

I let the subject drop. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, and clearly to share your thoughts so closely with me did. I tried not to blame you for that. It was a normal thing, to dislike such claustrophobic intimacy, even with me.

And I knew why it was different. I could feel it, in the press of your heart against mine.

Aside from it being this way for Narrative Purposes, I do think being in love making your telepathy spell too intimate by default IS romantic.

But you hated that closeness, and I could not blame you for it–you, who believed so fervently in the separateness of humanity from one another. I have never agreed with you in that, but I could only respect the belief you held so tightly.

WE’RE MOSAICS MISSING EMBELLISHMENTS, ARRELL!! BITCH!!

I sat back down on my bed and closed my eyes, and I thought about what you had done. You had not wanted me to wake up alone, and so you opened a connection between us, something you hated desperately.

I let that knowledge settle into my gut over your anxiety, and I waited for you to return, content that for just a small moment, we were closer to one person than two.

Oh yeah I forgot I put the Plato soulmates story earlier in this fic…Alyosha is really into the idea of two people being so connected they’re one person, which sure means he should’ve picked a different boyfriend. Or maybe he is that way because he has such a standoffish on again-off- again boyfriend! fun to contemplate.

You returned with two covered dishes, and set them down with a clatter on the table before you came to me. You fell to your knees before me, hands on my thighs, your head bowed. You said my name, ragged.

“I’m all right. I promise you I’m all right.” I ran my hand through the short bristly hair at the back of your neck. I could see your back shaking. I could feel inside my head the sobs you were not letting escape. “Tutor, please, look at me.”

You did. I’d never seen you look so scared, not in the years and years we had known each other. And I could feel it, too. Fear for my well-being, fear that you would be left alone, fear that soon enough we would all be gone–

“Tutor,” I said, fear clawing at my throat, tears stinging at my eyes. I bent over you, pressed my lips to the crown of your head, my loose hair falling around us, sealing us off from the rest of the world. If I could just protect you from the dark–

The tail end of these paragraphs being Arrell’s thoughts bleeding into Alyosha’s, and getting really close to letting Alyosha know about the H&D. I do really love coming up with situations where characters thoughts can bleed together–this happens in the aly/arr/hadrian fic too (thanks, dungeon world spell Cage, which does explicitly allow mind-reading) and the vanven fic. I just think it’s neat!

I felt you raise your hand and wave it in the air, a dismissive gesture, ending the spell. All at once the fear ebbed, a tide returning to sea, and I could breathe again. I gasped and sat back.

And of course the moment Alyosha starts to get a sense of what exactly Arrell is scared of, Arrell is like oh shit, let’s NOT do that. I mean also because he was low-key giving Alyosha a panic attack.

“What–Tutor, I don’t understand–”

Your hands gripped my knees tightly, hard enough that I could feel your nails biting into my skin. “I thought that I would come back and find you gone. That something I had done would be wrong, or something I didn’t do–”

“It was just a fever. I didn’t meant to scare you.” I wiped the tears from my eyes. “Do you always feel like that?”

“It’s nothing,” you said. Head bowed once again. Hiding your eyes.

Yes, he always feels like that. ugh Arrell SAY WHAT YOU MEAN

I couldn’t bear to force you to speak, though maybe then would have been the only time I could–you were already so cracked open before me. But I wanted to see you smile again. I wanted to take the fear from your eyes. I wanted to convince you I was alive. And this was the problem I could see, so I pulled you up by your forearms and folded you into my arms, my mouth pressed against your ear. “I’m here,” I said, over and over, and you clung to me, your tears hot against my neck.

Alyosha is such a good boyfriend and Arrell does NOT deserve him. Anyway, for Arrell to actually be crying you KNOW he must’ve been really fucked up. One supposes that dealing with the impending death of the universe is fine, but when you add ‘my boyfriend is really sick’ into the mix then it just becomes unmanageable.

Eventually you stood and dusted yourself off. The food you brought had gone cold, but we ate it together on the bed. Your eyes followed me as if magnetized, as if you couldn’t let me out of your sight. In time you returned to your duties, and I to mine, but for that long day we were simply together, not speaking much, basking in the surety of one another’s presence. I thought whatever darkness you so feared, we could act as one another’s lights. I thought we could stand against it, together. The sort of solutions children think of, that I have yet to grow out of. What creeping monster under a bed cannot be defeated by a light?

This is a sideway reference to one of the letters, where Alyosha talks about the prelate: “the sort of questions children ask.”

I talk about Alyosha/his beliefs in terms of light a lot, both in this fic and others–I mean obviously it’s a good set up in opposition to the Heat and the Dark, and a Samothes thing, but also I think because it reflects like, a kind of simplicity of faith that he has. How do you defeat great evil? Well, with light. Alyosha loves Kingdom Hearts, is what I’m saying. Or he did before he got stuck in the forge!!

I think, even now, that there are still embers within you, Tutor, waiting to be stoked. I remember the way you held onto me so tightly, the naked fear in your eyes. You care so much. You always have, reluctant as you are to show it. I know you want to save us. To save me. But I wish you would give some thought to what will be left of yourself. You, too, deserve saving. Yes, Tutor; even now.

Ugh this shit is sad. Like I know I wrote it but it’s sad? I think I find Arrell so tragic because I truly do think he cares, for the world and for Alyosha. He’s just really bad at it.

anyway, the only other important part of this fic is the time Arrell falls off a horse, which he deserves.

#ask meme #suedeuxnim

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

Text

Skam Austin episode 4 reaction

part of me is laughing at the number of people in the Facebook comments asking, “Is this on Netflix?”

Episode 4

Clip 1 - Sad couch crew

I felt Tyler and Shay were being friendly to Megan here, not snide, at least on a superficial level. Though I guess you can take their excitement about the concert as passive-aggressiveness.

Tyler mentioning the Illuminati - how very Isak. TBH I really hope Julie is making both Shay and Tyler gay, since they’re dividing up the Isak moments between the two. I’m fine if Tyler doesn’t get the big season-long arc and it goes to Shay instead, I’d love to see her get it. But it’s just going to leave such a bad taste if they’ve made Isak into a wlw with no equivalent to the gay male representation that already existed, when there are many supposedly straight female characters who could be have been made into wlw. Especially the Vilde equivalent, who you could easily give a story about discovering and accepting her sexuality, or the Chris character, who didn’t have her own season and really didn’t have any substantial character issues suggested on the level of Vilde’s home life, and would benefit from a meaty arc.

I love Shay, she’s definitely one of the highlights of the show, I’m just tired of all the fighting over whether it’s better for S3 to focus on a gay boy or a lesbian and seeing a lot of gross shit in the discussions that’s either minimizing the importance of an f/f storyline because homophobia is worse for men in Texas/lesbians don’t have it that bad/lesbians are already represented on TV because they’re accepted by straight men who find them sexy/someone doesn’t care about lesbians and will only accept Evak 2.0, or minimizing the importance of Evak/another m/m storyline because Skam and the other remakes already have gay ships so don’t get greedy/gay men are already accepted because look at all the m/m on Tumblr and AO3/people only want another Evak because they’re disgusting fetishizers. It’s fucked up how most of these talk relies on the assumption that there can be only one LGBT story on Skam at a time and not pushing back on why it goes without question that S1 and a hypothetical S2 about Grace/Daniel can both be about heterosexual relationships.

Not to be one of those obnoxious people referencing YA novels in response to real life situations, but it makes me think of Katniss at the climax of Catching Fire when her group of Tributes is fighting the Career Tributes and she fires at the force field instead. Remember who the real enemy is.

That’s a joke, don’t take that too seriously.

Anyway I’m tired.

Considering how shitty he’s been acting previously, Tyler not laughing at Marlon’s comments and just deliberately eating a potato chip is a step up for him.

Speaking of the chips, they disappear in between shots and I guess Tyler could be putting the bag on the floor between takes or something but it looks like a regular old continuity error.

Marlon is a mega dick and I dislike him but I kinda can’t believe that I agreed with him about the team’s social standings vs. their practice time. But it was Marlon who said it so it sounded like a dick move.

See, he’s been such a dick that it’s hard to feel sorry for him! But also he’s in the right to feel hurt about the concert.

I don't have much to say except he is the least convincing person to be talking about how he’s not upset and he doesn’t care. He’s so obviously pissed.

There’s just not a shred of chemistry between these two. I don’t get why they’re together, I don’t get what they like about each other, they barely seem to have much fun together. There isn’t much of a rapport.

Pointless personal anecdote #1: When this clip came out, I watched it on my phone at a graduation party, and I'm not kidding, in the few minutes while I was watching some middle-aged parents started talking about wanting to move to Texas when they retire, and they named cities and singled out Austin as a bad choice because “it’s been overtaken by liberals,” lmao. There was no way they could have realized I was watching a show set in Austin. The stars just aligned.

Clip 2 - Kelsey, no

Grace is really concerned about Kelsey sleeping with Daniel so soon, probably because what happened in her own past messed her up.

“Ever since I was a little girl watching the Super Bowl, I knew I was going to lose my virginity to a football player.” .... when I was a little girl watching the Super Bowl I only cared about seeing the commercials with the pretty horses.

“It was like he was going down on me, but in my mouth” … oh my God … someone SAVE this child.

Kelsey, you don’t even know what anyone going down on you in the “correct” place feels like, and this just makes you sound like inexperienced and Not Ready . And I’m glad Meg and Grace are suitably horrified.

Oh, they actually mentioned the issue of insurance, that’s good. But she looked a little uncomfortable with the topic of insurance, so if she has a similar financial situation to Vilde, insurance might be an issue? Or, as was hinted later via texts, she might have a super religious or conservative mom who would not take her to the doctor. She might be able to go to Planned Parenthood for birth control except I’m not sure if minors can get prescriptions for the pill without parental consent because well, Texas.

I checked out of curiosity and it looks like the only type of birth control you can get at PP without parental consent are condoms and lol, Grace already had that covered.

“You know you should use a condom, right?” “What if he doesn’t want to use a condom?” “Then you know you shouldn’t have sex with him.” YES. JESUS. Thank you Grace.

“I talked to Jo this weekend and I prayed about it last night” Oh come on, they’re going to have her mention praying about Zoya’s participation on the team and then not even address the sex-religion topic? Okay. Kelsey doesn’t even have to be abstinent or opposed to premarital sex, not all Christians are, I feel like it just makes sense for someone to be like, “Isn’t having sex before marriage against your religion?” And if Kelsey objected to the question on the grounds that they’re making assumptions about her religion, they could always come back at her with “Well, you assumed Muslims couldn’t dance.”

Kudos to Grace for talking sense about the Zoya situation and being very calm and careful about the Daniel thing.

Clip 3 - Backseat

The editing at the start of the clip made me think the mom might be talking to Megan at first but no, the mom is on her phone. Mom’s communication skills weren’t so great in this clip.

The dialogue is pretty on the nose and super specific to the theeeeeeme, with the mom putting all this implied pressure on Megan, but the passive aggressiveness about Megan’s dad is sadly accurate to how certain married-with-kids dynamics are, with the parents always at each other’s throats and dismissive of each other and not caring about how the kids react to these constant fighting.

I saw some people wondering why Megan was sitting in the backseat and honestly, that didn’t seem too weird to me. It’s not typical but I’ve ridden in the backseat even when I was the only passenger before (usually because sometimes riding in the front seat makes me sick) but I could see like, a moody teenager wanting to text her boyfriend and not wanting her mom to glance over at her phone. Although the simplest explanation is that Julie wants to hide the parents’ faces.

I didn’t even notice the giant concert posters at first, I was focused on the homeless man. I am assuming he was there to remind us of the stakes to succeed in this world if you’re much of a “dreamer” as Meg’s mom puts it, where if you don’t get a good job that can be you living on the streets, and to get a good job you need to get a degree from a good school, and to get a degree from a good school you need to perform well in high school, and if you make one mistake you are ruined, RUINED forever.

Meg trying to ask her mom for relationship advice and instead getting reminded that her parents have a shit relationship, lovely.

The difference in the tone between the coworker call and the dad call is very telling. Right off the bat, when the dad calls, the mom has a pissed-off attitude. They’re at the stage where they fight just to fight.

Also, note the guilt trip caused by the mom yelling at the dad for not remembering she was going to her friend’s (and like, who cares, I mean this might be part of a larger problem but this sounds like the pettiest shit to argue about) and saying people show they appreciate and support each other by listening and taking interest in their loves, when that’s exactly what Megan didn’t do (skipping Marlon’s show that he was so hyped for) and that’s how she feels she can make it up to him (by buying tickets to the concert he had mentioned).

And the mom says people show they care by listening when she doesn’t even listen to her own daughter and interrupts her when she’s trying to ask a question, and she’s definitely not paying attention to Megan’s life. Like, how is it that they can miss that she’s not on the dance team? Surely the team has some performances or competitions that they’d attend? Fundraisers? I can see them not attending all of Megan’s dance performances, but any of them?

Megan’s mom is a piece of work, though I’m sure the dad plays his part in the dysfunction too, I don’t want to put it all on the mother.

Clip 4 - Straw

Franz Ferdinand???

Not that this is the point but I’m intrigued by this locker setup. But I am from a place with cold cold winters so the idea of having one of these lockers in January seems terrible.

I was curious if Kendrick Lamar was actually supposed to perform in Austin on Friday, so I checked it out, and lo and behold, it was a real concert. Good job, Skam Austin.

It kinda just makes me sad that THIS is how Meg gets Marlon’s attention again, by buying (probably) expensive concert tickets.

“you two are smashing in that bathroom by the nurse’s office” at least you’re nearby if you need offbeat advice and some condoms? Oh wait, this is Texas. Never mind the last one.

This is my chance to talk about how gross I find the word “smash” in any sexual context. It just sounds uncomfortable and makes me think of potatoes.

Shoutout to Tyler’s Prince shirt, certainly a unique wardrobe choice.

Man, Kelsey is just such an easy target. Especially with the way she talks, like-like-like … blood in the water. Tyler and Shay are not here for Kelsey and Jo right off the bat and once Kelsey opens her mouth, it’s doom.

At least Kelsey had the sense to keep Zoya on the team list even if it was for self-serving reasons.

I applaud these actresses for effort, but every version of the iconic spoon scene has felt forced compared to the original. Josefina, my darling, if you’re going to be seductive with your straw, you might wanna purse your lips instead of letting it roll around in and out of your mouth.

I think it’s great that Jo and Tyler spoke Spanish to each other, and that they didn’t have subtitles, but lol at the brazenness of asking that question right in front of Shay when Shay could possibly speak Spanish herself. Or lmao, anyone who has taken Spanish I could understand what she was saying. (Like what if Shay was his girlfriend? Kinda think Jo isn’t concerned with technicalities.)

Calling him jefe, lmao, wow.

Tyler referring to Kelsey as Drew Barrymore made me laugh. Do kids these days have a firm grasp on Drew Barrymore’s legacy? What has she been in recently other than Santa Clarita Diet?

Maybe instead of references to Romeo + Juliet, we can get allusions to Ever After, The Wedding Singer, or Never Been Kissed. (Maybe not that last one.)

Also, I’m glad Meg spoke up for Kelsey so they weren’t just bashing her new friends.

Clip 5 - Internet quizzes should not be used to make major life decisions

Zoya is just looking through a book while Kelsey is talking.

Some of Kelsey’s rules:

“Always act classy”

“No cursing, fighting, messy hair or appearance” while wearing the uniform

“Positive vibes ONLY”

But yeah, here’s another example of why the dance team wasn’t the best way to adapt russ because like … of course Kelsey is being rude and ridiculous, and I can’t say I’m on her side against Zoya, but … if the team founder calls a meeting to discuss rules, it’s expected that you will be there to discuss the rules and not blow it off?

With Vilde’s bus, first of all, russ was several years away and they had time to pull it all together. A dance team is going to require some results in the near future, especially if the team is school-approved and getting them out of P.E. Someone is probably going to be checking up on the girls and making sure they’re not getting P.E. credit for sitting around and doing nothing. Second, pretty sure a bus group is not going to require as much day to day practice, training, and energy as a dance team.

I don’t know, however silly Kelsey’s motivations might be, if you sign up for someone’s dance team … you should expect to dance, dude. That goes for all the girls.

When prompted to give her opinion of Zoya, Jo cleverly deflects with the quiz, as her opinion of Zoya is clearly ❤️❤️❤️

I do love and appreciate Grace trying to persuade Kelsey to rethink the whole sleeping with Daniel thing. Not being too harsh, but being firm and not hesitating to point out all the ways it’s not a good choice.

Also being like “keep in mind he’s not your boyfriend” thank youuuu.

Kelsey sure doesn’t like that part about people judging her for having premarital sex. At least they might bring it up in the aftermath of hooking up with Daniel?

“That definitely didn’t happen.” “It did happen and she can’t eat Sweet Tarts anymore.” Jo continues to be the shining star of this show, I laughed out loud at her delivery of that line.

Whenever one of the Chrises is like “I was totally wasted” about their first time, I’m just like 😧

Kelsey saying option A on the quiz, for her “boyfriend” and her being closer once they sleep together, is the most depressing thing. Stop this train before it goes off the rails.

Oh God. Kelsey does not need to be anywhere near a penis at this juncture. The way she starts giggling and laughing when Grace suggests to think about what turns her on about Daniel … you are not ready to have sex. You are barely ready to talk about sex. None of the Vildes has seemed so young and not ready to go through with this.

Kelsey did not talk about not wanting to be involved in lesbianism, hmmmMMMM. Foreshadowing? Or maybe Julie just realized that people didn’t like the casual lesbophobia if you don’t have a lesbian character?

I haven’t been all that complimentary to the actors on this show, but I do want to give Kelsey’s actress some props for reciting that whole monologue, which is just a detailed Teen Vogue photoshoot.

It’s amusing that Kelsey integrated the Kittens uniform into her erotic fantasy but sad that Kelsey still wants to be a Kitten so much. She’s not wearing a uniform for her own group, whatever she might want it to be, she’s wearing a Kitten uniform in her ideal scenario.

You know Jo is listening to this fantasy and getting inspiration for her next Kelsey makeup experiment.Also, it makes me laugh that they’re having this discussion in a library.

Overheard in Bouldin - TMI Girl in Library: “People get turned on my different things all the time. My cousin’s thing is dirty socks. She keeps a pair of her ex-boyfriend’s in a Ziploc bag under her bed.”

May we one day meet this intriguing cousin of yours, Jo.

But don’t encourage this Daniel nonsense.

It’s too bad we didn’t get the classic doctor visit but lol, a school doctor in Texas might not be able to be so blatant with the sex ed tips, so I get it. And ultimately I would prefer if Julie tried out new scenes instead of trying to recreate old ones.

At first I thought Kelsey maybe didn’t know who Kendrick Lamar was. Which is perfectly plausible, let’s be real.

“When I have ever asked you for anything?” In the short time Meg has known you, Kelsey ... find Jo, join the dance team, get closer to Penetrator Jo, give you her birth control pills.

Clip 6 - Bowling

Kelsey’s outfit is almost exactly what she described in her fantasy! No access to a Kittens dance uniform, but otherwise very close. Follow your dreams, kids.

“Martin had a dream … Martin had a dream …” look, I like that Skam uses a variety of music and not just white indie rock, but can we like … quit syncing music by black artists talking about black cultural topics to scenes of this white dude being a big deal.

Look at that dipshit taking up two parking spaces. Fuck offffffffffffff

Kelsey looks so happy and Daniel looks like he’s already 75% checked out.

How long is this Kendrick bowling montage going to go on?

Ha, Kelsey easily had the worst bowling score of the four of them.

“Daniel just touched my ass.” The way Kelsey was thrilled about this was kind of cute and alarming.

Kelsey wanting Meg to stay with them as long as she can makes me think she really just doesn’t want to go through with the impending loss of virginity.

“Then how’d you know my name at Talent Night?” I mean ... you do go to school together, and Jo is on the football team with a high social profile. I could name a lot of my high school classmates by name even if I’ve never spoken to them.

Is Julie going to go full Chris/Eva with this version to give the shippers their day in the sun? I love original Eva/Jonas but Meg/Marlon is an unpleasant trainwreck so I can’t say I’m disappointed. I mean I can’t say I love Meg/Penetrator Jo either,, but I’m not sad about this version of Eva/Jonas not being endgame.

Penetrator Jo is still sleazy in at least a few respects (don’t be a cocktease) and we have still have to meet his girlfriend but his memory of her seems legit so maybe he does really like her. Unless, I don’t know, he stalked her IG and remembered some relevant details and embellished this whole story?

Lmao, I can get why people might think the “No Signal” scenario would be a contrivance but that exact thing has happened to me, so I buy it.

I will give Julie this credit, she’s good at setting up Fredag/Friday scenarios where we think one thing will happen, and instead something else occurs that’s completely different from the fan theories. I figured it would be as simple as Meg or Marlon missing the concert, not that we’d spot Marlon (or “Marlon”) with Abby

I don’t think it’s Marlon, though. That seems a lot like Tyler’s walk, and the person doesn’t seem to be wearing Marlon’s ugly shoes.

General Comments:

It’s kind of depressing to see people in the FB group and in the comments be like, “I haven’t seen the original show but could Grace be a lesbian? 😃” and the replies be like “No, Noorhelm is coming 😃”

Another “fun” aspect of having this show on Facebook: the MAGA edgelord assholes who leave comments on the episodes about “cucks” and “libtards.”

My opinion of Grace rose so much in this episode just by how doggedly she is trying to bring Kelsey back to earth. and telling her she can back out of this choice.

In the texts, Grace said she would buy condoms for Kelsey - good job - and later, when Kelsey asked the girls what she should wear for losing her virginity, said, “I know what Daniel will be wearing” and said that she put condoms in Kelsey’s purse - excellent job.

I feel like Grace would roll the condom on Daniel’s dick herself if it meant Kelsey had safe sex.

Abby was stressing over finals on IG so I’d bet that was a hint she needed something to help her out, hence meeting up with Marlon/Tyler for Adderall.

I was wondering what kind of music would be on Skam Austin since original Skam had all sorts of high-profile artists, and that would not be cheap, but so far, it seems like Facebook spared no expense with the soundtrack.

Grace and Shay had IG posts reacting to the Santa Fe High School Shooting. IDK how much Skam Austin would address gun violence in the episodes itself in the future, and I can think of ways it could go very badly, but sadly, as one of the biggest concerns of American teenagers today, it would be very relevant, and that’s what Skam’s supposed to be, after all.

#skam austin reactions #skamus reactions

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wernerhaggai · 3 years

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sage-nebula · 6 years

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Well, it looks like Vanity Fair has joined Buzzfeed in not knowing anything about The Office but wanting to talk shit on it anyway. Here’s the newest nonsense:

For example, some time after Schur stopped receiving full writing credit on episodes of ‘The Office'—he was busy launching ‘Parks and Recreation'—the show made the mistake of driving a wedge between Jim and Pam in its final season. That’s not to say real couples don’t go through tumult, but the character assassination of Jim Halpert in the pursuit of high-stakes drama caused a beloved show to end on a sour note. No such trauma ever touched Leslie and Ben’s marriage and it feels unlikely that anything like it would befall Amy and Jake.

The writer of this article could not be more wrong about Jim/Pam or the series finale of The Office if they were a six-year-old who had never watched anything but Care Bears, and because I’m feeling pretty irate about it, I’m going to respond. (Beneath a cut, though, because this is long and I’m not bothering to be polite about it.)

First of all, just to get this out of the way: Jim throwing himself wholeheartedly into Athleap, to the point where it caused marital strife between himself and Pam, was nowhere near “character assassination.” “Character assassination” is what occurs when a character is written out of character, often for the sake of strife or drama, and that is far and away not what happened here.

Don’t get me wrong, before anyone gets it twisted: I love Jim Halpert. He’s far and away one of my favorite characters on The Office. But the reason why I love him is because he’s a realistic, believably written character who has as many flaws as he has good qualities (and the same goes for Pam, and every other character on the show). Jim was never supposed to be an idealized perfect boyfriend like Ben Wyatt. You want to talk about how Ben and Leslie never have problems? It’s because Ben and Leslie were written to be ideals. Parks and Recreation was written to be an optimistic, idealistic show, removed from the confines of reality. The reason why Pawnee, IN is so completely ridiculous is because it was always meant to be somewhat absurdist. The antagonists are cartoonish, and the protagonists are all idealized. Ben Wyatt was written to be The Perfect Boyfriend™. Any flaws he has, such as being “geeky,” only serve to make him more endearing and lovable. He is an Ideal. Leslie is an Ideal. And as such, their relationship is Ideal and, therefore, would never have realistic problems that would actually affect real, living, breathing human beings.

Jim and Pam are not like that. Jim, from season one, has always had actual flaws that could cause problems in his relationships. In season two’s “Office Olympics” Pam herself has a talking head where she talks about how, when Jim gets really into something, he gets super into it and does a really great job. But the problem, Pam says, is that he works at Dunder-Mifflin, so that rarely ever happens. I bring this up because Jim throwing himself wholeheartedly into Athleap in season nine, to the point where he tunnel visions on that and blocks out everything else, was a consistent character trait brought up in season TWO. The reason why it didn’t cause strife between Jim and Pam before is because they were on the same page before---they wanted the same things before. But Pam---because she was ALSO written consistently!---dug her heels in and didn’t want to move, because even after her development she tends to be hesitant when it comes to huge changes, whether that means being terrified of giving birth to her first child, or not wanting to move to Philadelphia. This means that Jim and Pam, for once, were not on the same page about their future, which means that these flaws that both of them always had from the very beginning of the series put them at odds with one another, as happens with real human beings in relationships.

Oh, and by the by? Jim getting tunnel vision about the things he wants and throwing himself into them 100% was foreshadowed as early as season two, but in season four when he shows Pam Second Life (as a means to show her Dwight’s Second Life character), she discovers that Jim’s Second LIfe character is a sports writer from Philadelphia. She thinks it’s hilarious and chants, “Show me Philly Jim! I want Philly Jim!” This is harsher in hindsight when we get to season nine and realize that Philly Jim ends up pulling away from his family (TEMPORARILY) because he’s so focused on that that he can’t focus on what’s going on in Scranton. So, again, this plot was set up long in advance. There’s foreshadowing for it pretty early on, if you’re paying attention.

So, right off the bat: It wasn’t character assassination. Jim was always a well-rounded character. So was Pam. Neither of them are perfect human beings, because while Parks and Recreation is an idealistic show with idealized characters, The Office is a realistic show with realistic characters. The two shows foil each other in every way possible (private vs. public sector, idealism vs. realism), and so it’s blatantly obvious why Ben and Leslie have a Perfect Marriage™ while Jim and Pam have a more realistic one.

But that aside? “The show ends on a sour note” --- are you kidding?

First of all, again, Jim and Pam’s problems were temporary. The two go to marriage counseling, and although Pam still feels conflicted, Jim tells her that---well, here, you can see the scene for yourself. They reconcile. And Jim, realizing that he almost lost Pam, decides to leave Athleap (at least for the time being) to spend more time in Scranton with Pam and the kids. He ends up staying there. And when Pam still has doubts, thinking that she won’t be enough for him, Jim is so flabbergasted that he has the documentary crew create a music montage of all their moments together, so that he can ultimately tell her:

“Not enough for me? You are . . . everything.”

Ultimately, in the finale, their issues are addressed. During a panel they hosted where people who watched the documentary (in-universe, of course), someone asked Pam what she was doing to “pay Jim back” for leaving Athleap. Jim cuts her off and says that “she pays me back every day, just by being my wife.” Pam is touched, but says she’s working on something. (And she also says, I think a bit before that, in response to a question of how she could have doubted Jim’s love for her, that she was scared of messing up what she felt was a perfect life. She says, “Everyone came up on the street and told me I had a fairy tale romance. But there were many times last year when it did not feel like a fairy tale. But it’s okay, because now it’s better than a fairy tale. It’s like---it’s like reading an amazing book that you never want to end.”) During Dwight’s wedding reception, Pam kisses Jim, and Jim smiles and says, “See? Now you don’t owe me anything” --- jokingly, of course. And then, when they return home, it’s to reveal Pam has sold their house so they can move to Texas and Jim can pick up with Athleap right where he left off.

You see where I’m going with this?

They tell Dwight they’re leaving, and he gives them twelve months of severence. Pam sits on Jim’s lap while Creed plays a song for them, her head on Jim’s shoulder. She says in one of her final quotes, “Jim sat five feet from my desk and it took me four years to get to him” and “don’t get me wrong, I’m not some tragic person. I’m really happy now.” Jim, likewise, says tha the owes everything he has to this job, that he’s so happy that the documentary gave him a chance to watch himself fall in love, become a husband, become a father. It is made painstakingly obvious that Jim and Pam are as deeply in love and happy in the series end as they ever were. They had a time of strife, because they both have flaws that clashed for a time, but they’re so happy and in love and hopeful for their future. And as if there was any lingering doubt, NBC had (at least for a time, idk if it’s still up) a “Where Are They Now?” photo slideshow up on their website, which revealed that they’re both incredibly happy in Austin (Jim is with Athleap, and Pam is a prominent member of the art scene). They’re happy and in love and absolutely nothing about that is sour, honest to god, I don’t know what show the writer of this article was watching.

So yeah, this is ridiculous, and to be honest I’m getting really, really tired of Parks & Rec stans bashing The Office. Whether it’s trying to tear down Jim/Pam to make Ben/Leslie look better, or tearing down the show in general in an attempt to make Parks & Rec look better, it’s really beyond old. I really enjoyed Parks and Recreation when I watched it, but all of this has honestly made me feel like I dislike it (when I don’t!) because I’m sick of seeing something else I really love constantly torn down and unjustly criticized in the pursuit of making Parks and Rec look better than it was. Prefer Parks and Rec and Ben/Leslie all you want, but don’t spread lies about The Office and Jim/Pam while you’re at it. The Office has arguably the best series finale in television history for how well it tied everything together and how it left every single character on a happy note (even Creed seemed fine going to jail, tbh), and to see that called “sour” because someone didn’t bother to actually watch the conclusion is honestly pretty upsetting.

#the office #jim halpert #pam beesly halpert #i'm not going to tag this meta because it's not really meta #it's just Facts #but god i'm so fucking irritated #at this point i feel like saying ''i don't like Parks and Rec'' because of how sick I am of this bullshit #and that's not even getting into how I feel about how Jake/Amy was written #godddd i'm so aggravated #i didn't want to hijack someone else's post tho so here this is in an individual post #but goddamn i'm irritated #either actually understand the shows you watch or don't fucking write about them #it's not goddamn difficult

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httpsung · 7 years

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Seeing Day6 Live | #Day6inDet

!!Warning!! Long post ahead

Excuse me for being mushy and lame..

Honestly being able to watch Day6 perform live is a magical experience. Seeing Day6 in person.. it’s crazy the amount of emotions I felt the moment these five men walked onto that stage, it was insane. I really wish that all MyDays who really love and appreciate Day6 will be able to experience them live even if it’s just once. I’m wishing everyone the best of luck because it’s nothing like seeing your favorite people right in front of you...

October 27, 2017 was literally the best day of my life this year. It was surreal and I find my self at times throughout the day thinking “Did it really happen?” I’m going to discuss what I could recall from last night. I might post more stuff about the fanmeet later on but this it’s what’s refresh on my mind right now.

So the moment 8pm hit, the time the show was suppose to start the crowd started chanting “Day6!” over and over but the show still didn’t start and so the crowd went through all of the guys names starting with “Brian” Literally the entire venue minus me was like “Brian, Brian” but I’m like it’s YOUNG K, soon they went from Brian to Young K and it seemed to be a chanting war of both his names back and forth lol followed by everyone else’ s names.

Anyways the intro video started and Dowoon was the first person to walk out on stage and take a seat at his drums and BOY that’s when my heart started to race and I was like OH FUCK this is happening, he’s gorgeous he’s really there. Then followed Wonpil, Young K ( I think Wonpil came out before Young K I could be wrong forgive me I was trying not to loose my shit ) Jae, and last but definitely not least Sungjin. LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU when Sungjin walked out MY KNESS GOT WEAK I LITERALLY TURNED AND HELD ON TO THE BACK OF MY SEAT BECAUSE I WAS NOT READY. I was in Section 2, row L Literally right in front of where he stands on stage so he’s all I can see ( So I’m like 12 rows away from the stage? Something like that.. ) BUT ISTG Sungjin’s eyes sparkled like I’m not super close to him but I can see his eyes shining from where I’m sitting AND I shit you not I almost died.

So they performed I Wait first, I thought I was ready, I’ve watched the livestreams of the other shows before Detroit so I knew the setlist and what to get prepared for BUT YOU CANNOT PREPARE YOURSELF FOR DAY6 AT ALL. They started playing and it was so hype from start to finish, then they went on to Hunt and I’m sure most of you know the rest of the songs played before they actually sat down but even before that they kind said a few words??

Anyways the fanmeet portion began. The host came out and the translator the boys got seats and introduced themselves and I’m sorry I was one of those people who let out a louder than usual scream when Sungjin spoke like I cheered pretty loud for the other boys BUT come on... my bias introduced himself I didn’t even expect that sound to leave my throat.

So after introductions they answered some questions y’know when they pick a question a fan has asked them.. I was in awe with how adorable they were, how genuinely nice they seem and just wow I really appreciate them.

After that came a game of Bingo and I was like OH this is new because I think we’re the only stop that got the Bingo game. If I remember correctly LA & NYC had the preference game and Austin had the Wiii Boxing.

They played Bingo and if they got bingo they could draw five raffle tickets and whichever fan had that matching ticket would get a prize. They all drew one and matched with a fan, my heart was about to explode because I wanted to be picked but I also didn’t want them to see me I’m weird LMAO. I WAS LITERALLY ONE NUMBER OFF WHEN DOWOON WAS CALLING OUT HIS BOYYY. Anyways it was funny because Young K drew a ticket and no one had it so he looked sad then he had to draw again and looked happy when he finally got someone lol.

OH btw Sungjin danced to Gashina due to the number he chose for Bingo ( I forgot to mention they had to do a task that was hidden behind the number they chose ) Jae created an impromptu song AND LORD JESUS BLESS HIS VOICE, Young K’s task had everyone involved and everyone of them had to strike a pose from the option that came up which happened to be MICHAEL JACKSON so they had to do an MJ posed and Young K failed lol. Dowoon had to do a mystery box and touch something without seeing it and guess what it was THAT POOR BABY HAD TO TOUCH AN ALLIGATOR/CROCODILE IT WAS ONE OF THOSE AND I WAS LIKE OH SHIT (idk if it was truly real tho) when he realized what it was he jumped, he was cute.

Wonpil’s task was to eat a lemon and try to whistle afterward, he was cute.. I barely heard the whistle but we were all like YEAH HE WHISTLED GIVE HIM THE POINT.

This might be out of order but I remember Jae saying some really nice and encouraging stuff and talking about how he got the Kpopstar audition and that he was a political science major in college WOW.

I remember someone was like “Preach Jae” and he was so hype like ‘I’M GONNA PREACH” lmao I love him.

After the games were over they told us how we will enjoy music for the rest of the time.

SUNGJIN’S “BAND IS MUSIC” I ALMOST SHED A TEAR

They left the stage and showed the video of them in Detroit, SUNGJIN’S CUT and wow it was nice ;-;

AFTER that they came back on stage and performed You Were Beautiful and I wanted to cry on the floor but didn’t.

At the end when they did freely, I was already in the aisle and Jae did his signature jump off the stage and walk into the center thing and that’s when I got closer too and BOY what a performer... DAY6 ARE A BUNCH OF AMAZING PERFORMERS.

It all ended after that unless you had p2 hi-touch and I did... and that’s when my anxiety kicked in a little I was so nervous, I knew it was going to be a quick process because when is hi-touch ever lengthy? but I was AKJSKSKDLFLFG;GK my best friend was like you wanna go before me and I was like GIRL NO LMAO I’M ABOUT TO RUN AWAY. Our row was up to walk on stage and here it goes, where my life was about to end.

Dowoon was first, very friendly! At first it was hard to take him in, it was hard to take all of them in at the moment and their little actions. He was sort of leaning on the table and he really didn’t high-five but kinda grabbed my hand a little and was like “Hello, thank you!” I said thank you in return my voice was really small and high-pitched BECAUSEI WAS NOT READY FOR THIS. Next was Wonpil.... WONPIL INTIMIDATED ME SO MUCH GUYS OH MY GOD, HIS GAZE WAS STRONG AND I COULDN’T REALLY MAKE OUT HIS EXPRESSION BUT HE WAS ALSO REALLY HANDSOME, HIS FACE IS CHISELD BY THE GODS WTF Wonpil increased my nerves but his voice was so nice when he said “Hi and thank you” Next was Young K and istg I remember nothing but his smile, he was all teeth it was THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SMILE.

THEN HERE WE GO PARK SUNGJIN... MFING SUNGJIN... GRABBED MY HAND IT WAS KINDA AGRESSIVELY SOFT LIKE IS THAT EVEN A THING BUT THAT’S THE BEST WAY I CAN DESCRIBE IT. Sungjin seemed really thrilled like so bubbly, He said “Thank you for coming” and I said it back though I wanted to say I love you, I wanted to say that to all of them but I choked.

ISTG I’M NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE BIASED but his grip on my hand lingered and I was crying in my head. I was so stunned about everything that Jae ALMOST became a blur I say almost because I was like still trying to process Sungjin and our hand separating that when Jae ALSO grabbed my hand and leaned into my view and JESUS CHRIST HE’S SO PRETTY He was like “Ayeee, thanks for coming” I did say thank you but oh my god I was not ready for Sungjin or Jae... HI TOUCH WAS A SHORT SPECIAL EXPERIENCE BUT WITH JAE AND SUNGJIN INTERACTING WITH THEM STOOD OUT THE MOST WITH ME

Afterward we exited the venue I was still stunned like did that all happen??? I kept saying stuff like that all the way to my airbnb with my best friend and then when we made it to the front door everything I had been feeling throughout the whole show and hi-touch came out of me at once and I started crying akskdlf

I never expected to fall so hard for Day6, they’re amazing, they make amazing music... there’s not a single song I dislike. I love how hard working they are and I love how hard they’ve worked this year giving their fans their all. I’ve been a solid fan for 6 1/2 months and honestly stanning them is one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life, they’re literally like home, the MyDay fandom is one of the best with such kind people and I’m grateful to be able to experience loving Day6 with them.

I HAVE A LOT OF FEELS SO I’M GOING TO STOP BEING LAME AND END THIS NOW IF YOU READ THIS ALL WOW YOU THE MVP

Anyways I do have videos hardly no picture because I’m a video kind of gal so I will be posting a few soon, once I go through them all lol and stuff.

#day6 #day6indet #day6inna2017

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wavemaker9 · 7 years

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Austin wouldn’t wear out (“wear out”) the words ‘I love you’. Like both he and Kyle are reluctant to say them easily. For Kyle, it’s because while he does love the person, he’s afraid it’ll kind of jinx things. Once he says it though and like, oh hey look nothing bad happened. You didn’t immediately break up with me or die or whatever, it’s all good! Like at that point, he says it all the time. Or rather the casual ‘Love you’, probably, saying the full sentence would be more of a sign of it being like a serious moment where he just feels this overwhelming sense of love, but he’ll tell the person he loves them as casually as he’ll call them mate at that point.

Austin wouldn’t though. He’s also reluctant, as was explained in that fic, since he tends to not feel it’s the right word. I keep giving this as a preface but like, his experience with romance and the like is through a far more emotive and social/romantic/sexual world than he himself resides in most of the time. In society, the romantic phrase ‘I love you’ always has such weight to it. There’s the common tropes of one person saying it before the other in a relationship and it throwing the relationship off because the other person isn’t ready for a stronger commitment of such romantic love or whatever. And that’s not to say austin resists using it because he’s afraid of scaring the other person off or he himself is afraid of that level of commitment. It’s just. He’s so muted in his emotions and his view of the word love has been inflated so much by society, that he doesn’t feel it’s accurate. “When these people say they love one another, it seems more emotional than what I’m feeling, so I can’t be feeling love, I guess.” It’s another thing where having Mel point out to him over their time together that it’s okay to have his own scales in this relationship and that something can be ‘less’ in general society terms, but still equal to him in relative terms. Even if he hits a moment of genuinely feeling so strongly about someone in the moment where he admits he loves them, it wouldn’t suddenly be easy from then on like it is for Kyle. Kyle feels so strongly about everything, and that’s also not to say like, Kyle wouldn’t say it if he didn’t feel strongly. Once he said it, he’d say it always, and from past RPs I know that would apply even if he was drifting in the relationship.

The one first relay I had him in with a yao like, he was lowkey cold to yao by the end of it (that’s another story i might get into some other day) but he still said he loved him when prompted and it wasn’t /specifically/ a lying thing. Partially, maybe, because by the end he could slightly tell like ‘...hey this isn’t as good as it used to be and i’m not as happy with them as i used to be’ but also like. I don’t think he ever stopped loving yao. Scratch that, i know for a fact he never really stopped loving yao, or maybe just the idea/memory of him when they first got together. i remember specifically noting at the time that he was still in love with yao, he just finally recognized yao didn’t love him back enough in a way kyle needed to find the relationship worth the stress trying to deal with yao was putting on him any more. Kyle doesn’t /stop/ loving anyone. Even people like summer or doug, even in AUs where he recognizes how bad they are, he never stops giving a shit about them, at most he just learns to care about others/himself more. Here’s a secret: kyle? Kyle disliked ludwig in hetalr near the end there, yeah, but he never really started /liking/ ludwig, their interactions /started/ with ludwig criticizing kyle’s behavior to gilbert so kyle came out of the gate in their relationship annoyed and defensive. During times where kyle wasn’t himself, like the kid event, they got along, but that wasn’t /kyle/ kyle, and he was even mad about it afterwards like damnit, young me betrayed me and this grudge i got. But Kyle’s feelings about gilbert? Like Kyle started off not liking gilbert, thinking him too confident, but once he caught on to the same sort of ‘it’s an act i’m a human mess’ factor that he himself shows, Kyle started to like gilbert and see him as a potential friend. Kyle was fucking with gilbert because he was trying to like, be friendly to him and he judged gilbert as the type to respond best to asshole friendship as opposed to others like cami who kyle judged as needing a softer, slower friendship/flirt approach to woo into his bed. Kyle /still/ saw gilbert as potential cool friend guy despite how fucking annoyed he started to be all the time at ludwig and thus gilbert too. Kyle can be furious with a person, but it takes a /lot/ to actually nudge his view on that person down once it comes up. He doesn’t- crushes and the like don’t fucking die with this kid. He won’t act on lingering crushes or anything if he’s in a relationship with someone else, but they're still /there/ in the back of his mind. Ugh, this kind of veered off path, lemme wrap up this point. Kyle just cares /so much/ about /everyone/ at a basic level and that rarely goes down. Once he’s not scared about it any more, he’ll roll with ‘I love you’ super easily because like. It’s always true and it’s not something he even needs to think about. It’s a basic part of him to love people so it’s not a second thought of like ‘do i love them enough to warrant this?’ he’s never worried he’s using it wrong or that it doesn’t apply to him because if he’s using it at all, he loves them even a little bit and that’s enough for him

But ‘a little bit’ isn’t enough for austin. He uses the words when they apply by the definitions and standards he has set up for them and that is rare for his feels to meet that standard when it comes to ‘love’, /especially/ in the romantic sense, but even outside of it. I don’t know if he’s ever told kyle that he loves him. And admittedly like, they’re just cousins, fuck if I can remember the last time I told any of my extended family i loved them, and that’s for me when like, i’ll use it dismissively with family because i’m in the ‘they are family so even if you don’t like them or even tolerate them, there’s a familial love that is standard in the relationship’ (though admittedly that may also have come up in my brain as a way to get out of feeling like I was lying when i told some extended family that i loved them because they would say it first and it’s rude to just stay silent but like. nah. Anyway anyway. Like he’s told his parents he loves them, because he does. But he does not have the same connection with the rest of his family that he does with them. He would likely miss the presence of kyle, but his aunt and uncle? Meh! He’d lowkey miss uncle art, he was… tolerable? Honestly? Austin’s probably really glad when his aunt dies. Like she’s family and he recognizes he should feel bad but also she was the worst fucking person and now she’s no longer in their lives, embarrassing all of them and making kyle’s life hell, good riddance.

ANYWAY. Austin would use the phrase the first time after a moment of his emotions actually being like strongly noticeable, and then it would be a while before he said it again. Like his whole thing in the family au with the worry about the sex thing, that would behave like kyle’s worry about using the word love. Once it happened once or twice, austin can get every part of his brain to agree like yeah no this isn’t how this works, sex isn’t an automatic curse clearly, it’s fine. and kind of sweep that fear under the rug. But the restriction on the word love doesn’t really ease. /maybe/ if he starts to get more of the case for his scale being different but equal to others, and that just because he doesn’t feel like caught up romantically in amelia right this second, that doesn’t mean he hasn’t come to love her. Like if he uses it once and then the moment passes, he can realize he doesn’t actually suddenly stop loving amelia until she does something else to temporarily woo him. You can love someone without actively feeling it at that moment. He might learn to be a little more comfortable using it then, but still it’s like. Oh, actually! I think he might also start to find it easier once he acknowledged how important having mel in his life would be. Like he loves his daughter. He can say that easily by that point, he’s acknowledged that like, he would suffer for losing daliah, not even like inconvenienced/temporarily feeling the loss but moves on like he feels he would with someone like kyle’s death. Losing dal would be capital R Rough on him, so yes, he can equate that to loving her. Once he came to the same realization for mel of like. ‘If i lost her, a large part of me wouldn’t know what to /do/’, then he’d hit a point of like, consistent acknowledgement that he loves her. Still doesn’t say it a lot, but if he ever has the urge or reason to express caring about her in general, he’ll be more comfortable using the wording of ‘love’ than trying to find something that conveys a lesser version of the same idea.

Also, speaking of austin potentially losing his loved ones. ...okay, i know that sounds like a rough start, especially coming from me, but i’m not gonna go that dark. emphasis on the potential, i promise! Just like, austin being in a position where he’s worried about either or both of their safety, and having to deal with how the anxious concern bleeding into fear just kind of shakes up that composed appearance he has for himself. Whether it was something actually somewhat serious and confirmed as a potential issue like a serious illness or them getting into an accident or similar like dangerous sitches, or instead just unintentional speculation “they were supposed to be home from some trip or errand earlier and they’re not yet and i can’t reach amelia on her phone and realistically they’re probably just running late but what if they got into an accident or were mugged or otherwise hurt”. Austin’s just so bad at handling strong emotions, he’s really out of his element. Like kyle’s bad with emotions because he feels them so strongly they are overwhelming constantly anyway. Austin’s bad because he feels them so weakly that when he does feel them strongly he has no practiced ability for handling and processing them in a good way and they just kind of. You know that idea that if you vibrate something at a perfect frequency it slowly shakes itself apart? That’s what strong emotions do to austin, i feel like.

#ignore this #the thief kid #the suit kid #amusing muse musings #hey you au #au nt family edition

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ohnojustimagine · 7 years

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Stress Relief

Austin Aries/Reader, 1660 words, explicit

***

You stride down one of the labyrinth of corridors backstage, flicking through the sheaf of papers attached to the clipboard you’re holding and absent-mindedly muttering to yourself as you mentally check off the endless list of tasks you’re responsible for tonight. Working in technical logistics on a live show as huge as Raw might be your dream job, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. You love every minute of it, pressure and all, but still, sometimes you’re tempted to tear your hair out in frustration, and tonight’s one of those nights.

You briefly glance up to see someone walking towards you, and yes, you sigh internally, who else would it be but the guy with the world’s worst sense of timing, Austin Aries. It’s not as if you particularly dislike him or anything, it’s more that he’s annoying as hell and, well… just plain weird.

Some of the talent are friendly with the crew, some of them aren’t, and you honestly couldn’t give a shit which as long as they all pay attention to the schedule and are where they’re supposed to be when they’re supposed to be. But Austin is different. He’s a good worker, definitely, never missing a cue, never unprepared for a match, but he’s also always kind of there when you least expect it, and you’re beginning to find it unnerving.

Especially because all he ever does is basically hover in the most disconcerting manner possible, and, sometimes, offer you a banana. You never accept, and if you try to talk to him further, he’ll make some bullshit excuse and immediately walk away, like you’ve got some scary communicable disease or something and, frankly, you’re sick of it.

Tonight, he stops in front of you. His match is due to start not too long from now, and he’s already dressed ready for the ring, wearing a pair of silver trunks and that fluffy jacket.

“Can I help you?” you ask, trying not to be short with him, because you really don’t have time for this.

For a moment he doesn’t reply, but then says, seemingly concerned, “You look stressed.”

“Well, yeah,” you answer, this time not bothering to hide your irritation, “that’s because I am.”

“Have a banana.” He produces said banana from inside his jacket like magic and holds it up in front of you.

You bite back a few choice words, simply saying, “No thanks.”

He tilts his head to one side, regarding you. “The potassium would help.”

You take a deep breath, because you’re about ready to snap, but then you suddenly notice the way he’s looking at you. And maybe you’re imagining it, surely you would have to be, but you could swear he’s looking at you like… that.

There’s some of the most beautiful women in the world wandering around here backstage, and while you know you’re not ugly, you’re not exactly the glamorous type when you’re on the job. Not with your hair scraped back into a messy ponytail, dressed in faded jeans and a slightly stained t-shirt.

But apparently that doesn’t matter to Austin, because yeah, that’s a look. And fucking great, because this is all you need right now, some entitled asshole thinking it’s okay hit on you at work. You’re all out of patience tonight, so you toss your clipboard on a nearby crate, say, “Fine,” and grab the banana out of his hand.

You hold it by the base, stripping the peel away in three neat sections, then hold Austin’s gaze, opening your mouth and going down on the damn thing. Like, all the way down, until the tip of the banana hits the back of your throat. You pull back slowly, far enough that you can take a good size bite, which you chew and swallow before sliding your mouth down again, this time taking a moment to showily suck on it, your cheeks hollowing. You repeat the process several times, making as much of a performance of it as you can until the banana’s almost gone.

“Oh,” Austin says softly, his eyes wide, and you smirk to yourself, taking one last bite.

“You know,” you say, “I do feel better.” You hand Austin the empty peel, and he takes it unthinkingly, a vaguely panicked expression on his face.

“I have to…” he stutters out, glancing helplessly downwards.

You follow his gaze, looking down at the front of his trunks, and shit, shit, shit, you didn’t even think, because the poor guy’s due to wrestle on live television in just a short time but is now, somewhat awkwardly, sporting what looks to be some pretty epic wood.

“Sorry,” you say ruefully, because you were just trying to make a point, not completely fuck up Austin’s night.

“No,” he replies. “My fault.” He smiles sheepishly. “But I think I better… take care of things before the match.”

“I don’t know,” you tell him. “I think you approaching him with…” you gesture at his crotch, “…all that happening might give TJP a pretty good scare.”

“Maybe so.” Austin laughs, blue eyes shining, and you suddenly realize that you don’t know him at all. And maybe, just maybe, that you’ve never given him enough of chance. You know you can be impatient, rash to judge people, and you’ve got a bad feeling you may have ended up jumping to some very wrong conclusions about exactly what kind of guy Austin is.

And you are, after all, a problem solver by trade. Hell, it’s practically your job description, and this right here, in Austin’s trunks? This is a problem that needs solving.

So you grab his hand firmly, saying, “Come with me,” as you lead him off down a narrow side hallway that seems to go nowhere. There’s more crates stacked up in the small space, and you take hold of Austin’s shoulders, guiding him behind one of the crates, pushing him backwards until his back is pressed up against the wall.

“Um…” he says, nervous, but not resisting you. “What… what are you doing?”

“Stop talking,” you say, and he nods, letting out a small, strangled whimper as you drop down onto your knees in front of him. You pull down his trunks, freeing his cock, which springs out hard. It’s not so long, but it’s thick, surprisingly so, and for a second you have to press your thighs together, imagining what it would feel like inside you.

But there’s no time for that now, so you reach out, taking it in hand, your fingers circling around the shaft, feeling the smooth weight of it. There’s a glistening drip of precome beaded at the tip, and you lean in closer, your tongue snaking out to delicately lick it up. “Fuck,” you hear Austin mutter, and you grin up at him slyly, parting your lips, taking just the head into your mouth and sucking on it gently.

And you’d really like to finesse this, make it last, but you know that’s not possible, so you close your lips around him, moving up and down, swirling your tongue around him every time you pull back, licking at the ridge at the base of the head, listening to him moan in response. He thrusts up into your mouth, and you grip his hips, holding him still enough that you can establish your own pace.

“I’m going to…” Austin grits out, warning you, and you only redouble your efforts, hungry for the taste of him, and he doesn’t disappoint, heat soon spurting out into your throat. You swallow greedily, sucking gently as he finally finishes, letting his spent cock fall from your mouth.

You stand up, wiping off your lips, looking at him. He’s leaning back against the wall, still panting, eyes wild, and you feel no small amount of satisfaction at how utterly undone he appears.

He lunges towards you, arm around your waist, other hand on the back of your neck, pulling you in for a kiss, but you hold yourself away, hesitating. “I’ve still got…” you say, meaning the remains of his come is in your mouth, thinking he won’t want to taste it.

But he surprises you, saying, “Yeah, don’t care,” as he drags you in forcefully, tongue sliding past your lips, kissing you so deeply and thoroughly you’re almost instantly weak with it, body slumping forward against his. He bends one leg enough that his thigh’s pressed up hard between your legs, and you instinctively start to grind down on it, the seam of your jeans getting your clit just right, and you moan.

He’s unfastening the button on your jeans, when you suddenly remember where you are and what you’re actually supposed to be doing. “Oh god,” you exclaim, holding up your wrist and showing him the time on your watch. “You’re going to miss your match if you don’t hurry.”

“Dammit,” Austin says, releasing you, pulling up his trunks, straightening himself up hurriedly. He pauses, looking at you. “What about you?”

You shrug briefly. “I’ll live,” you say, but to be truthful, you’re not sure you will, the yearning ache inside you so intense you’re not sure how you’re going to get through the rest of the show. But it is what it is, and you’ll deal.

“If you want to come see me later,” he says, with dirty, hopeful-looking smirk, “I’ll take good care of you.”

“Yeah?” you ask, playfully. “Will it be worth the wait?”

Austin’s face widens into a grin. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“It’s a date, then.” You wave at him, shooing him away. “Now go before we’re both in trouble.”

He laughs, rushing off, and when he’s gone, you wince to yourself, because you’re probably already behind enough on your schedule that you’re in deep shit.

But well, yeah, you think. So worth it.

You pick up the banana peel from where it’s lying discarded on the ground, and try to refocus, because it’s going to be a long night.

#wwe imagine #austin aries #austin aries imagine

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cosmosogler · 7 years

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hawaii part 3

hmm yes it does appear that i left writing the journal off until 11:30. that was a mistake. i got distracted. it’s easier to not think about things than to think about things. it’s... easier to think about other things too.

reading my post yesterday in order to get my bearings i realized how much i dislike the way i “sound.” no wonder everyone treats me like a man baby.

the public beach was fine. i didn’t want to stand around at the hotel and play pokemon all day so i went to a beach with bigger waves with my brother, austin, thomas, dad, and uncle mike. the neighbors came too, later. everyone except me and uncle mike was out in the waves so i just sat in the shade in the soft dirt-sand and talked to mike about cook’s pines, which we had spotted at the very north end of the island. you could see out that far from this part of the beach. we also talked about pigeons since there were a lot of them. we talked a little bit about eve and how, when pounds want to get their animals adopted, they describe the animal using the most exotic breed in the mix. wiley is a “finnish spitz mix.” (look them up they’re super cute actually.) eve is a “greyhound mix,” even though mike said she acts way more like a black lab. he said they’re always skittish like she is.

i couldn’t really argue with that. it is more exciting to say you have a half-greyhound than a half-black lab. and eve never shuts up when mike is around. she just howls and howls and runs away and howls from the other room even a little while after he’s gone. she’s done that since she was 3. i thought she would get used to him after a year or two, but i guess once she realized he was also her vet she kept a grudge.

wiley likes him though.

i eventually stumbled out into the waves knee-deep to laugh at the boys and their boogie boards. i probably stood out in the sun for just a little too long. i had been upset that i’d forgotten the sun hat gramma bought for me... i dunno it’s just nice to stand with your feet in the ocean even if you’re not swimming.

i didn’t stay out for too long though. i mostly had gotten up because my legs were falling asleep sitting in the dirt, and also because i had sat down less than a foot away from an anthill and dropped my shoes on top of it. i went back in the shade and talked to sierra a little bit and played some pokemon.

i don’t remember what we did for dinner after that. it’s kind of frustrating to go to dinners with my family. gramma and sharon heavily favor restaurants we are familiar with over restaurants that are good/are easier for 25% of us to eat at. ryan has the fatal peanut oil allergy, i’m vegetarian, my sister’s got a lot of dietary restrictions and is generally picky, austin’s not allowed to touch nuts since his brother’s so allergic. gramma can’t eat red meat but we go to steak houses all the time. thomas won’t eat anything but hot dogs and sometimes pizza.

the next day was the last day on maui. my sister, claudia, uncle dave, and i broke off from the group to go to the aquarium. i didn’t realize that my family wasn’t joining everyone else for lunch so i didn’t think to say goodbye to anyone when we left the hotel. that kind of sucked. the aquarium was nice though. i sent a lot of pictures with one-liners and snarky comments to asher. i also took a ton of videos, which i forgot to show him when we hung out today.

after that (and some shopping) my sister and i had to wait in the shopping center after dave took claudia back to the hotel. we waited for like 40 minutes for our family to pick us up. we had some ice cream. the car ride over to ihop sucked. it was just the worst. my parents would yell at each other, and then demand unreasonable things from my sister (who had siri open), and then when my sister would get irritated she would get yelled at for raising her voice. my mom and dad acted like she was SO unreasonable for being frustrated with them. “i’m just such-and-such,” they would say, like “just” doing something excuses you from being a dick. “i’m just sayin.”

i hate “i’m just sayin.” it’s dad’s trump card for when he wants to “win” an argument. because if you get mad when someone is “just sayin” words, because “just” saying is so different from “actually” saying, then you are unreasonable and you lose!!!

at ihop i was too sick to eat and my sister was too sick to eat. then about halfway through the meal my brother cried out and put his hands over his eye. i was worried he had gotten hot sauce in it (i noticed the bottle next to his elbow) and suggested washing it out in the bathroom. he and dad didn’t come back for a long time. after we finished eating we dug out my sister’s eye drops and mom basically shot his eye with a jet of saline. also a guy who may or may not have been a tourist was there. he gave me conflicting stories over the span of our conversation. i wanted to focus on my brother but there wasn’t really anything i could do and the guy was very interested in talking to my family.

so then we went to the airport, and i played pokemon while waiting for the plane, which was about 40 minutes late. then we got on the plane and i watched the sun go down and listened to less than a full elo album before we landed on oahu. when we collected our bags and got the rental car my brother complained that his eye still felt like someone was jamming a needle into it and it had been seven hours.

so mom decided it was a good idea to give him one of her oxycodone pills.

i have some feelings about this. mostly confusion, because i don’t understand why mother would have those pills in the first place. she’s always so harsh when she judges dad’s mom because she’s “addicted to pain killers” and “stole grandpa’s medication before he died” and “complains to the doctor too much so he’ll keep refilling her prescriptions.”

but you know what?

mom stole my pain killers, my vicodin, when i had my wisdom teeth out. i had to go like five days with just tylenol when my jaw still wasn’t healed enough for me to even eat solids. when i talked to dad about it one time, years ago now i think, he seemed to imply that that was just something she does.

i’ve met people who are addicted to oxycodone. it’s not a fun time. where the hell is mom getting such a powerful drug? who the hell is giving it to her? she has migraines. but i looked it up just now and oxy is a TERRIBLE choice for treating migraines. and also it’s super addictive.

and also i’m a stickler for rules i guess and i was super irritated that mom broke the rules and gave a prescribed medicine to someone who it had not been prescribed to. a powerful one! and she said this might mean she couldn’t take him to the emergency room!

at 11 after we had gotten settled into our new hotel room mom and dad took him to the emergency room anyway. i hope she got in trouble. my brother was super stoned. on the way to the hotel he was asking me stuff like what my major was and where i was going to school. he also made sammie-level bad jokes and laughed at them.

mom complained that we shouldn’t have pushed her to give him one. even though no one had told her to... even my brother was like “i don’t care just do something” at the time.

so that night i didn’t fall asleep until 1, after my brother got back from the er. he had debris stuck in his eye and it had scratched his cornea.

i had a dream that the monster didn’t want to kill me. it was after some equipment i had. a while into the dream i realized that not only could i teleport myself (sometimes i can do that), i could send other things away too. actually it was easier to Send Things Away than to teleport myself, which required a lot of brute-forcing my imagination into believing i had taken a huge step forward, sometimes up a wall or through one, instead of just a normal walking step.

it’s literally the best way i’ve dealt with a monster in my dreams basically ever. anyone around me it wanted to hurt, maybe as punishment? send them away. after the machine i had? send it away. “sorry dude, better luck next time.”

there was a lot more to it but it’s hard to explain in words that make sense when put in a sentence together. i wish i dreamed less in fluid images or impressions and more in solid ones.

well, even the solid images don’t always make a lot of sense... they make sense to me, in a weird way, but i can’t figure out how to make it make sense for everyone else. and drawing them is like looking into an infinite fractal. i can never put as much detail on the paper as i saw in my head and then it looks bland and strange and not what i wanted to communicate.

the next day i woke up at like 10:30, which is the latest i ever woke up during the trip. i even turned my alarm off. i felt sick all day. my family left to get lunch and i just stayed in the room because it hurt. in the evening we went to my mom’s cousin’s anniversary house gathering party. this is the cousin my mom doesn’t even like very much, due to gay.

i didn’t have much food. i mostly talked to my mom’s other cousin and her family, and caught up with some people i didn’t know. the meal was jewish chinese hawaiian. i liked the pasta salad.

by 9 i was too exhausted to talk to anyone any more. i found myself blinking even more owlishly at the host’s collection of mugs painted with the faces of what appeared to be american presidents. there were like 40 of them. i had laughed when i saw them the first time and said “it’s good to have a hobby.” i guess as i got more tired i wanted to say more, but had less to say. so i just looked at them a lot.

i don’t know what i did with all that time. i don’t know what i spent my evening doing. my family was watching a different movie on each tv in the hotel room. we had the two-room setup again, but my brother and i had separate beds this time. it was frustrating because my feet and ankles would get caught in the blanket tucked under the bed. it was too hard to kick the blankets loose so i felt pressed down and restricted and that made it really hard to fall asleep. i have enough trouble getting my arms and legs into comfortable positions while i’m up and about during the day. i spend all night fidgeting and adjusting my weight and yanking my pajama pants around trying to get them to sit right. this happens every night. i’m uncomfortable all the time. my legs just won’t sit right and it feels like if i just kicked or flexed them i could maybe jimmy them into better positions but it never happens. so when i sit i kick my feet around all the time. and when i sit with my hands or arms against a surface i knead at it trying to get my hands! into! the Correct! position!!!

the correct position probably doesn’t exist. i’ve never gotten there before. all i can do is try to loosen up my muscles a little bit so i stop feeling so strained and uncomfortable.

the last full day i spent laying around mostly. i went and looked at the baby seal and took pictures and sent them to asher. i found anny and sarah on the beach but my legs fell asleep while i was sitting under the umbrella with them so i got up and left. i was also getting sunburnt again. i found mom at the hotel restaurant so i got lunch with her even though i didn’t want to. i got a fancy drink with dragonfruit and mango and stuff. i told mom i wasn’t hungry at all but she talked me into a sandwich that was way too big for me to reasonably eat and also like 20 dollars. i barely managed half of it. i gave the other half to dad when he showed up.

then we went to the actual anniversary party at a fancy restaurant. i was too tired to interact with anyone so i sat with my brother and sister and tried to track down a glass of water. my brother ended up with three, mostly as a joke on my part.

this is the story as i understand it. my aunts have been together for 20 years. marriage was legalized between 3 and 4 years ago, and they got officially married a few weeks after the law passed. we were here to celebrate their “anniversary,” though it may have just been the best time of year for everyone to travel. there were a lot of cute and touching speeches. i always enjoy uncle len’s terrible, terrible poetry. it’s actually better than mine at least.

hmm, well, maybe they’re about the same quality now that i’m thinking about it.

the food was very interesting. i was told the chef said he would have something “interesting” for me since i think i was the only vegetarian. i got some kind of briny rice with like a creamy green sauce. it was topped with asparagus and some little tomato cubes. and also really spongy looking mushrooms. and a cracker made out of cheese. i think it was asiago.

it was ok. i was tolerating it pretty well until i picked up a big mushroom stump and tried to eat that. the effect was immediate. i near gagged on how spongy and salty it was. it tasted like the ocean. the last time i accidentally swallowed ocean (a few days previously) i had thrown up immediately. as had my brother. we’re cool like that.

after that i wasn’t interested in eating any more. i had some of the dessert but didn’t really enjoy it that much. i think if i was feeling better i would have liked it more.

don’t tell no one, but we had assigned seats. when i got over to the table with my brother and sister i saw that i was assigned next to dad. i swapped my name card with my second cousin’s so i could sit next to my brother instead.

there were three performing sisters supplying the party with music. they were pretty good! when they came over to our table and asked for requests i said “please god anything but over the rainbow” and they laughed. they played some songs that their mother wrote. but at the end they made us all hold hands and sway together and sing aloha oe. i was bummed about that, mostly because i didn’t want to be standing, partly because i didn’t know the words, and partly because i really didn’t want to hold hands with anyone.

i had a lot of trouble falling asleep at a reasonable hour that night. i had more dreams, and i was thinking about them the next day, but i don’t remember what they were any more. the ride to the airport was stressful. i was crammed in the back with all the suitcases and every time we made a sharp turn i’d get squashed or knocked in the face by the suitcase’s wheels. i ended up getting something like chocolate chalk on my fingers trying to buckle my seat belt and i was upset about that the whole ride.

i texted with asher for a while. i don’t think he was doing so hot but he heard me out which was nice of him. i was looking at a billboard while we were stopped at a gas station and i texted “it’s kind of surprising how little matters in life when you think about it.”

i’d been thinking about that for over a week at that point. so few things actually matter. i was trying to make a list and i could only really think of one thing. being able to see the sky matters.

i also said it was really a relief to look at something and say “screw it, i don’t care about this any more, i’m going to stop putting any effort into it.” because, like, it saves so much energy to not put effort into things you don’t care about! why waste your time on crap that doesn’t matter?

i mean, sure, if you care about something, be tenacious as hell. but if it doesn’t matter? why am i still trying? why not try at something that does matter?

what i’m getting at here is that i don’t care about being friendly with dad any more. he never apologized or mentioned it or did anything. he barely looks at me. if being embarrassed or being the authority or whatever is more important to him than i am, then screw it! i don’t care! i don’t HAVE to care.

so that’s the hawaii lesson. you don’t have to care. you can choose to care, but you don’t have to.

on the flight back i did nothing but fish for bottle caps for basically six hours. i got up to use the restroom and i did doze for about 20 minutes at the start of the flight.

it wasn’t really just fishing for bottle caps. i never just fish. that’s boring. i was listening to music and fishing for bottle caps on the side to keep my hands busy. i was barely even paying attention. i spent a lot of time thinking about random stuff. like animorphs, or doing a mental review of one of the comics i’m reading, or wondering about recent developments in another. i also spent actually more time than i should have wondering what the guy next to me was thinking. i mean i was playing what was clearly pokemon, but all i was doing was running back and forth and fishing up pokemon that i ran away from.

i got nine bottle caps.

we landed around 10:30. baggage claim was normal amounts of crowded and stressful. dad missed the terminal’s curb when he drove over to pick us up and had to spent 10 minutes going all the way back around the airport to try again. it was over 100 degrees even though it was the middle of the night. the car was crammed the whole hour back. we decided to stop at carl’s jr for dinner at 11:30 and i got really sick from the grease. we got home at 12. i putzed around on the internet until 1:30, and then i took a really long time getting ready for bed because i felt disgusting and i wanted to wash off more than usual, and then i couldn’t fall asleep because my brother was screaming at the computer and stuff.

in the morning i went downstairs to go to my doctor’s appointment after sleeping for 5 and a half to 6 hours. after waiting for 10 minutes for dad to get ready to leave, i finally asked when we were heading out because i had no idea where this office was or how to get there. he leaned in real close to me and growled “i NEVER said i would take you ANYWHERE.”

the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#tw drugs #sammie gives up #im not the one with the drugs #dont worry about that

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5hfanfiction · 7 years

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for me it's you, for you it's her

Camila’s always wanted a perfect first kiss, a happily ever after moment give or take. She remembers being eleven years old, her first boyfriend Austin had tried to kiss her on the playground while they were hanging out with about twenty other sixth graders and she has never hopped out of the way as fast as she did then. Because that, a park on a too hot day with a gross sweaty boys wanting to show off to a bunch of other gross sweaty boys that he can kiss her, that isn’t a perfect kiss.

It goes without saying that she also spun her head in the eighth grade when Keaton tried to kiss her in history class. Because seriously? History class? Just because the teacher leaves the room for a minute doesn’t mean he can kiss her, they weren’t even dating, he just flirted with her a lot and she ignored him a lot. Plus she had just seen him kiss Lauren Jauregui the weekend before at a dance and she wasn’t going to lose her first kiss to a boy who was supposed to have a girlfriend, in fact she’d have to tell Lauren Jauregui all about the little stunt.

It was a pretty romantic kiss though. It had been in the middle of “All Back” by Chris Brown, who is a gross singer but the song is romantic and beautiful and Keaton had pressed a chaste, unexpected kiss against perfectly red lips and Lauren had seemed shocked at first, Camila had noted that from where she was sitting on the stage a few feet over from them with Dinah, but once he pulled away after about five seconds Lauren smiled and it was a really pretty smile, so Camila assumed she agreed that it was romantic. She’d learned via instagram later that it was Keaton and Lauren’s first kiss as a couple.

She had felt that familiar pit in her stomach as always when she saw Lauren with anyone but she’d learned to push the thought to the back of her head ever since the first time she felt it.

She didn’t want to watch the kiss either, hadn’t meant to do it because the pit in the stomach kind of felt like her heart had dropped a rock or something like that and that wasn’t exactly a good feeling. But she knew Lauren would smile like that and she really loved seeing Lauren smile like that so she couldn’t force herself to look away.

Her and Lauren had never been too good of friends. Basically every girl in their grade was one big friend group, so the two could hold a conversation if they had too and they ended up hanging out at a lot of the same group hangouts (Lauren is the one who shoved Austin away from Camila, repeating to him that “no means no” and instructing him to apologize for his actions [Lauren was becoming a feminist even in sixth grade]).

They could probably get along great if they tried, Camila knew they had the same favorite bands and singers, watched the same shows, were both obsessed with Cuban food. The only reason they weren’t was because somehow in fifth grade when all the girls kind of split Lauren had stuck with the girls in her neighborhood, Lucy, Alexa, Keana, and Vero, whereas Camila had been better friends with Ally and Dinah and Normani from her neighborhood. So they didn’t dislike each other, just didn’t hangout a lot. Normani walked the line and she was kind of friends with both groups though, so when they went to the monthly dances that the city had for middle schoolers, usually Camila, Dinah, and Ally would join the other group to hangout.

That’s why Camila was present for Lauren’s first kiss. She didn’t know she had a crush on Lauren, she told herself she had a crush on Austin because he had a crush on her and she was straight.

Lauren’s first kiss was the first time Camila questioned that though. She didn’t realize that’s what she was doing but it was. Watching Lauren and Brad kiss was disgusting, painful, the pit in her stomach appeared for the first time and Camila felt herself frowning from where she was watching over Austin as his annoyingly sweaty hands held onto her back, high up because apparently he didn’t want to seem to grabby.

So Camila’s first slow dance with a boy is when things began to change.

Lauren only dated Brad for a month and then she had her friends break up with him for her because apparently he smelled bad. That happened basically the same way in seventh grade with Paul, then in eighth grade with Keaton.

Camila pushed all of those first kisses she saw to the back of her mind because she couldn’t like girls, there was no way. She hadn’t dated anyone since Austin in sixth grade but that was because she was focusing on school.

She finally had to come to terms with her crush on Lauren though at homecoming their sophomore year.

Luckily there had been no first kiss to endure freshmen year because Lauren had been as single as Camila for the whole time, but they still stood near each other at the dances during sophomore year and Camila had to witness Luis’s obnoxious interruption of Lauren jokingly dancing with Keana to a slow song. He had went in for a kiss, and apparently they had been talking or something before the dance, Camila found that out later but she was disgusted at first that a boy could just kiss a girl without permission, especially a boy who was that greasy with a girl who looked like a goddess.

But when Lauren smiled Camila’s favorite smile once they pulled back, Camila figured she misread the situation a little bit. She also figured she was a little bit gay because the damn pit in her stomach felt more like a boulder since the smile was aimed at somebody else.

Junior year, Lauren was still dating Luis. Camila isn’t sure how they lasted so long, he was gross and Lauren was perfect but Camila often caught that smile when they pecked in the hall so she let it go. But this time she didn’t see Lauren and Luis kiss, she saw Lauren see Keana and Luis kiss.

It was in the girl’s bathroom and they were making out for god knows how long but Camila entered the room to see a silent Lauren staring at them with tears in her eyes. They hadn’t noticed her obviously, but they did when Camila went over to smack him in the face for her dream girl.

Luis barely got a word out before Lauren snapped out of it and slapped him as well, before turning and fleeing before those tears could fall from her eyes.

Camila of course followed her out to the parking lot after shooting the two cheaters the dirtiest look she could and caught up to Lauren just in time to catch the sobbing girl as she collapsed. Like Camila said, they weren’t friends but they could get along if they tried. So they try.

Only for that night though. Camila helps Lauren to her car since Lauren had come with Luis and wanted to get away and then Camila drove them to McDonald’s to get nuggets and McFlurries for them. Then she let Lauren cry on her shoulder about how she knew he was cheating but didn’t want to believe it and Camila mumbles back that she deserves so much better (she leaves out the part that she could give her so much better).

And she still feels the pit in her stomach, this time it’s because when Camila offers to go to Dairy Queen for ice cream even though they just had McFlurries and it isn’t because of a kiss but it is that smile that’s been Camila’s favorite since sixth grade. And it’s directed at her.

Lauren comes out as bisexual in the following month. Camila hasn’t talked to her since homecoming night but they’ve sent each other smiles in the hall and the morning after that weekend Lauren had hugged Camila in the hall for one last thank you and Camila had felt her heart explode. Camila sends her a text saying congratulations and how proud she is and Lauren replies about how happy she is to finally have the weight lifted off. Camila wonders how it feels.

That’s the first time she feels a little bit of hope.

Senior year comes around though and still nothing other than smiles in greeting and sometimes a “hey,” in the hallways that makes Camila’s smile increase in ten fold. And Camila’s still unkissed but that doesn’t bother her because as said before Lauren Jauregui greets her in the hall.

Lauren hasn’t dated anyone since Luis, apparently focusing on school and finding herself and softball and Camila is happy because homecoming is coming up and this might mean she never has to see Lauren kiss someone that isn’t her again.

She’s even more ecstatic when her and Lauren get partnered for a project in health. They spend a week of class time working on it and joking together and she really just likes Lauren, like a lot.

And Dinah is convinced that Lauren just has a flirty personality and she doesn’t want Camila getting her hopes up because she knows how much Camila is hurting over this “crush”, but Camila could swear Lauren has been extra flirty with her.

“You going to homecoming this weekend?” Lauren asks out of nowhere, trying to fill the last minute of class with small talk, it’s the Friday before the dance and that means they’re done with their project but Camila doesn’t mind because she has this awful thing called hope.

“Yeah I am, no date but I don’t really need one, I just want to have fun with my friends and maybe find someone to dance with if I can not be the most awkward version of myself,” Camila answer with a smile, blushing slightly because Lauren Jauregui giggles at something she says and Lauren Jauregui giggling has to be the cutest thing in the world.

“Well you certainly shouldn’t have trouble finding someone to dance with if you act as cute as you normally do,” Lauren answers and Camila blushes even more because after seven years of pining after her she just called Camil cute.

“Hopefully you’re right,” Camila grins back and Lauren keeps smiling at her until a second and a half later when the bell rings and they say a quick goodbye and see you tomorrows before leaving school for the better parts of fridays.

Camila knows it wasn’t much but she gets an idea in her head. She’s been talking to Lauren this week and Camila’s bad at reading people but Lauren has seemed flirty and Lauren called her cute and okay it’s a stretch but they’re both single so if they run into each other and they both need someone to dance with? How perfect would that be?

So she starts to think maybe she has a chance with Lauren, with being Lauren’s first kiss for the last time, her last first kiss (which is one of Camila’s favorite One Direction songs so maybe she’s cheesy and listens to that while she puts her makeup on and just hopes). And how romantic would it be to kiss Lauren, who’s she’s been basically in love with since forever for her first and last first kiss?

She didn’t think Lauren had a date.

And she doesn’t, she comes with her group of friends, all of them going stag except for Alexa who’s with her boyfriend but they’ve been dating for years so he counts as being in their friend group.

Camila had went with Dinah and Ally and Normani and none of them brought dates either, so maybe she can linger by Lauren’s friend group and hope that when a slow song comes on Lauren will maybe notice they’re both alone and Lauren will maybe ask her to dance and then maybe the lights will be dim and the music will be soft and maybe Lauren’s lips will be softer (okay probably not since they’re chapped as hell but the point is Camila wants to double check that they’re not soft because some chapped lips can be soft, and hey nothing wrong with chapped lips even if they are rough, it is Lauren Jauregui).

She doesn’t notice how close Lauren and Lucy are dancing, she doesn’t notice their hands becoming linked together, doesn’t think anything of the smiles on their faces because it’s a fun dance and everyone is smiling, and she’s passionately talking to Dinah about how yes glee music is good for the most part but it shouldn’t be played at Homecoming, so she doesn’t notice the slow song start until it’s already on.

Dinah’s the one who notices the slow song, it’s “iT’s YoU” by Zayn, and Camila feels like it might just be the perfect song to finally kiss her favorite girl because to Camila it is Lauren and it’s never been anyone else since sixth grade when she had to watch the girl she was in love with kiss a boy who wasn’t deserving.

So Dinah leaves to go find Normani and then with her scope out Ally and Troy because the smaller girl had asked her to take pictures at a perfect moment, which Camila thought was insanely adorable (especially since it was Troy’s idea), and Camila spun to find the girl of her dreams.

And she sees her right away.

Mainly because Lauren is a few feet from her but also because her smile is bright and big and happy in a room full of people and stands out.

Because her eyes are glistening and they’re such a light, beautiful shade of green that the lights of the room make them sparkle.

Because Lucy is dancing with her and it’s hard to miss the red dress her dream girl’s dream girl is wearing.

And it’s happening again. The pit in her stomach is forming. It’s a pit of false hopes and missed chances and lingering glances and insecurities and dreams of a perfect first kiss and a happily ever after and she can’t look away. No matter how hard she wants to look away, to go find Dinah, to run to the bathroom or to run out the door and never turn back, she can’t do it because Lauren is smiling that smile and after she kisses Lucy she’ll be smiling even brighter and Camila would brace herself but she’s never been able to properly cushion the breaking that’s inevitably about to happen.

Lucy’s the one to kiss Lauren, leaning in with a smile on her face and Lauren as always lets herself be kissed. It lasts the usual five seconds, and when they pull away Lauren is smiling Camila’s favorite smile.

Camila goes to find Ally and Troy because she’s certain Dinah got distracted somewhere and she wants at least one of them to have a happy ever after moment.

On wattpad @ longerr_hours

#UPDATE #one shot #AU #camren #angst drama #submission #for me its you for you its her

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