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weyheyjxlya · 4 years

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*•.¸♡ pairing: sugawara koushi x reader

*•.¸♡ genre: nsfw || smut (this is my first time writing one, gomen)

*•.¸♡ prompt : Mirror fuck

*•.¸♡ warning: gay!sugawara au, fingering, handjob, praising?, soft dom!suga? (I’m kinda not good with warnings sorry)

*•.¸♡ a/n : so this is my first server collab from the first server where I’ve met various kinds of people who supported and sparked my inner frustrated writer within. so yeah! I hope this won’t be the last one writing nsfw because geesh it fucked my brains out so ya, I didn’t get to upload my chapter 06.2 because I crammed with this. so I hope you enjoy this babies! ilysm!! also listen to the music indicated while reading it, okay? THAANK YOU!!

“My love, I’m so afraid for things to change My love, Guess i’m too carried away”

“I guess it is not a dream, yeah?” he asked doubtedly while cuddling you “Yeah, it isn’t kou,” you replied as you’re slowly drifting away from exhaustion. Slowly.. slowly.. slowly… “I really hope this isn’t fantasy. If this what I get for being alive? Then I want it. You are life y/n.” he confessed while caressing your face with the back of his hand as he momentarily appreciates your lovely existence.

“Why am I still alive Kou-chaaaannn??!?” you whined as you shook Sugawara’s hands when you grabbed it out of frustration from your cheating boyfriend that just broke up with you. “You know Y/N-chan, there’s like plenty of fishes in the sea!! Why not search for someone right at this moment and time? I cam even suggest one from the volleyball club! Not Daichi though, he’s mine!!” he protested excitedly.

Back from your first-year senior high school days, you’ve met this light-gray-haired guy with an average height and a slender build. But what attracted you the most is that wonderful mole just below his left eye. It’s so beautiful. It brought out the best of his majestic face like some kind of an accessory that matches the one who wears it perfectly. This guy is such a work of art. You’ve felt your heartbeat continue for like a while when he greeted you charismatically. Showing to you that extraordinary smile, you’ve felt captivated. Damn, this man is so fine “Uhm hi!! I’m Sugawara Koushi. How about you?” he asked “Oh yeah, I’m L/N Y/N! N-nice to m-meet you,” you replied “Nice to meet you also Y/N-chan. I’ve noticed that you’ve been looking at me for a while. Uhm, this is kinda embarrassing but I am gay,” “Oh wow, omg thank you for saying that to me. And yeah, no judgment involved but there’s one thing certain right now,” you cooed “Hmm, what is it? You’re acting kinda weird haha” Sugawara replied nervously “Let’s be friends Koushi!” you’ve suggested “That’s kind of quick but yeah, fine!” he acknowledged ~~ From high school until college, both of you are always together. Both of you are frequently called out as a couple at first but will feel embarrassed when they got to know who Sugawa is. Months and years passed, you only just thought Sugawara as your best friend. You’ve tried your best to bore in into your mind but your heart always betrayed you. You still like Sugawara all along and you fell hard for him. Hence, you’ve tried your best to suppress it. So you’ve got yourself into various relationships, that in the end, it just ends in like a flick of a hand. It’s easy, momentarily, pretend, and temporary. You just can’t get Sugawara out of your heart. It even got to the point where you’re imagining Sugawara as your own partner in life and love –also in bed because everything just felt so empty. You can’t get him out of your heart. Then finally, you’ve met some guy which helped you got into a relationship seriously.

“Am I too ugly? Do I lack anything? Why did I got cheated on Kou-chan?” you sobbed again despite the moisturizer that Sugawara applied on your face to prep you from glamor. You’ve been adoring yourself for a while now and you’re wearing a deep red silk robe that has done its job perfectly. Hugging your beautiful curves, complimenting your beautiful skin, and made you feel things again that you’ve forgotten for quite a long time. Dreamy as it is but you’ve been wondering. You’ve done everything you can but still, why have you been cheated on? “Y/N-chan, come on. You’re more than that, we both know it. I won’t be sticking with you up until now (even though we barely meet for a while recently since your boyfriend gets jealous because of me) if you don’t have that beaut,” Sugawara comforted with tease while smoothing out your dress for your night out after your boyfriend cheated on you “Gosh, the pain and pleasure that I got every night because of his jealousy over you. I might die the day after,” you protested jokingly while drying off your tears with tissue from the vanity mirror because you’ve wasted quite an amount of expensive moisturizer that had been put on your face because of some tears that fell over for some garbage kind of a guy. Suddenly, Sugawara stopped with what he’s doing when he heard your sudden confession then he walked over you, poker-faced at the edge of the bed to join you to face the mirror. “Come on dear, now close your eyes and let me finish up that art that I’ll create upon this beautiful face of yours,” Sugawara offered with a sudden change of his face, from straight face to a now charming smile as he scooted over you and started reapplying a small amount of that expensive moisturizer again to coat all the spaces that have the moisturizer erased. The application this time is quite relaxing. Suga’s gentle hands have been stroking it ever so gently for a while. Then suddenly, he stopped. As a response to your curiosity, you slowly opened your eyes. Without warning, Sugawara’s lips are planted upon yours. Due to your own shock, you’ve tried to pull yourself from him but he didn’t let it happen. He gently bent your head slightly to the back and then held your face like it’s the most fragile thing that he has ever held on and continued placing kisses in various places. Before you could protest, you’re now drunk from the euphoria that Sugawara gave you. With hearts thumping loud, mind becoming black, and your own body becoming numb and now giving into his kisses, you’ve wanted this for so long and it’s happening now. So without thinking, you drew your arms around his neck and you’ve felt his flirtatious grin drawn in his lips. He guided your head to the side then he continued kissing until he insistently licked your lips as permission to part your trembling lips. Without a moment’s hesitation, you gave in to him completely. You dropped all your guards down as this is the moment that you’ve been longing for. That sweet, gentle, and addicting kiss of his made you forget all types of kisses that you’ve experienced before. It was experienced and mature. But then you’ve felt sad and Sugawara felt the sudden emotion because that you’ve become unresponsive to his kiss. “Why sugar?” he asked as he momentarily pulled back from the kiss “You’re really experienced with this and those experiences aren’t with me,” you pouted as tears fell upon your cheeks “Shush sugar. If it’s not for those experiences, I wouldn’t be this great for you, right? This is a new case for me but this sensation that I’m feeling right now cannot compare to anything. You make me feel things Y/N and I love you so much that it hurts,” he replied while wiping your tears with the back of his hands. “Come here sugar,” he sweetly called as he patted his lap and he held out his hands and you took it. Swiftly, as you sat on his lap he immediately pulled you into a tight hug and nuzzled the crook of your head like it’s the last time that he’ll see you. “Finally, you’re here now,” he murmured as he immediately pulled your face and started kissing you. It’s gentle but demanding. The kiss made you feel completely melted as every inch of your body dissolves into his. The fuzzy feeling made you wrap your shoulders around his neck, grip into his hair, and pulled him closer. You’ve never felt like this before. Hungry as it is but you’ve never wanted anyone like this ever. As this moment continues, both of you are now completely peeling off the label “friends” in between you and both of you know it so well. This is the beginning of something. Breaths may stop you for a short moment but it never became a hindrance as both of you are passionately showing how needy you are with each other. As the kiss continued, Sugawara realized how long he had been holding back from this passionate desire to be yours completely. How perplexed he is at night when he realizes that he fell for such an idiotic straight best friend of his. How jealous he is every time you get into another relationship. How irritated he can sense how much of an asshole since he is a man a swell. How sad he is when you’re not by his side because you’re with someone. He wanted you all along but he suppressed it just to keep you from the awkwardness and from leaving him. Now that the moment’s here, he’s now thanking the heavens as this moment has been taking the man out of him. Now he’s praying that they keep him from where the light is because he might lose himself from this moment. Slowly, Sugawara pushed you backward, without breaking the kiss he laid you flat against the bed. On your peripheral vision, you witness how you’re deliciously making out in the mirror but you don’t care. You don’t care because it has been years since you’ve been longing for this. Even after those stupid relationships, it is still him. Sugawara Koushi is the only thing that you want for. The feeling of his weight upon yours sent signals all throughout your system because the feeling is phenomenal. You get to take in his sweet kind of cinnamon and a little hint of clean linen smell that lingers his body –this kind smell of his has sent you wanting his body more. His hands are now exploring everywhere and it doesn’t matter. He starts planting kisses upon your jaw down to your neck when he starts searching for the sash of your robe. When he got a hold of it he suddenly pulled back and stared at you with his charming puppy eyes and without hesitation, you nodded which left an angelic grin upon his face. He lets go and placed the robe sash on a spot where he can find it then he cupped your face again to passionately kiss it again and the other hand travels with delicious, teasing, and slow speed down from your neck, collar, breasts, and hips as he finally reached the robe sash again that sent shivers down your spine. When he finally released the bow from being tied, he gently helped you get free from the garment. As he finally got you out of it and the robe not within your sight, he sat upright then he deliciously registered your naked body with a burning gaze that consumes you in no time. “I could look at this all throughout my life sugar. You’re extraordinary and I love you so much,” he praised when he lifted his shirt over his head and undoes his pants with his underwear and throws it off from the bed. Having the image of the naked Sugawara in front of you is heavenly that it awakened your inner woman twerking its ass off from the happiness that it’s experiencing right now. He is beyond beautiful. Charming in his own ways. Angelic but it looked like the one who’s gonna cut our wings with and escape. Sugawara really looked like a man that came out of your dreams. Suddenly, your mouth became dry when you saw his growing member that made you gasp for some air. Seeing this reaction seeping out of you Sugawara chuckled and he excitedly hovered over you again. Sugawara strokes your face with the back of his hands and obviously, his touch resonates in the depth of your groin. Bending over, Sugawara slowly kissed your lips and started his slow torture. Starting from your neck down to your breast he started trailing kisses, nuzzling, then sucking hard that left its trails with love bruises. Every kiss made your nipples peak and harden as it starts off the fire of your desire. When Sugawara saw, he put on his devilish grin and has now started sucking your nipple from the left breast while deliciously playing with his hand on the other that left you panting and grabbing his hair because you’re now selfishly wanting for more. “Koushi, please,” you begged “So eager huh, okay sugar,” he responded and suddenly his tongue is suddenly inside your mouth then he started again with his travel starting from your breasts, across your stomach, and down to your navel. He sits up again with eyes brimming with joy as he wondered over the art that he made across your beautiful body. Feeling proud because he’s the creator of it. Out of joy, he bent down again and starts shifting lower until he reached your clitoris. You cried out by this traveling of his then you suddenly felt all of your nerves when his incredible tongue worked its way on your cunt so much that it left you a whining mess. “Calm down sugar,” he mumbled when he deliciously continued his business with your cunt and suddenly he slipped one finger which left you breathless and gasping for air. Then he slipped one more and this leads you to the edge as he started moving it in and out with agonizing slowness. The stimulation you’re experiencing was extravagant due to the mere fact that you’re doing it with the subject of your suppressed love. “Hmmm, this is definitely new for me, sugar and I’m loving it. Most specifically this,” he murmured when he starts stroking your spongy walls then he continues with relentlessly licking and sucking your clit which made your mind get blown by the stimulation and sensation that Sugawara gives you. After a few pumps, you have reached your first mind-blowing orgasms which left your sense go numb and your body go limp. Due to your sudden burst and to your mind-blowing high you instantaneously thought of Sugawara. So all of a sudden you sat up then pushed him back and you grabbed his member and started palming him which then he let out a loud groan and started looking upon you with a hooded and full of desire gaze which left you excitingly and slowly pumping him until he reached his own orgasm that he had been holding back for a while now. “Well that’s kind of embarrassing, I’ve been holding that back for a while now. Oh well, patience sugar. This will soon fill you up,” he replied and winked as he reached for the condom which is in one of the drawers of his vanity mirror. He planted a kiss on your lips first then he laid you again on the bed then started hovering over you again, he slipped on a condom, and then without asking for permission, he’s inside you, slow at first but builds up its pace until it’s hard and fast. Groans, moans, and lewd sounds of your bodies clashing have filled the room which leads you both nearing your own orgasms but to your dismay, on the spur of the moment, Sugawara pulled out of you and flips you over. When you took your time to flip over because your body’s been limp and all, he suddenly pulled you upright so that you’re practically sitting on him. But what made heat haunted your ears and face more, it’s that you’re now facing the mirror that has its lights on. He scooted the both of you a little to the side and now you can brightly see how your cunt sucking in his dick nearly balls deep. “Kou this is kinda embarrassing,” you mewled as you held your face due to your obvious embarrassment. “Then enjoy it sugar,” he replied with amusement. Splendidly, his hands moved up to your breasts, palms it, and tugging gently on your nipples which made your groan for more and tossing your head back against his shoulders. He starts biting downs your neck when he splendidly flexes his hips, filling you up slowly again and again. “You mean the world to me sugar. I’ve realized how empty I am when you’re gone so I never want to let you go now” he breathes against your ear “Yes and neither do I Koushi,” you gasped as he starts slamming to you again to your mewl over his name. This never felt so good he thought. As he was slamming you so hard your moans and cries are now echoing the whole room. “That’s right sugar, let me hear you,” he whispered as he snakes one hand on your waist and another on your hip. Firmly that you know it’ll leave some mark after then he pushes into you harder and harder. With your breaths growing harsher and harsher, ragged, tired, and with gritted teeth both of you found your release together. After catching up some air, both of you collapsed on the bed together and you are now curled up on the bed with his front pressed on your back, his nose on your hair. “What I’m feeling right now frightens me Koushi,” you trembled “Me too Y/N. Everything’s so new to me,” he says quietly “I know, so what if this is just on a whim then you’ll leave me,” you choked as the thought is horrific. “It won’t happen and I won’t go somewhere sugar. I love you so much,” So to confirm the answer you turned your back to gaze at him and he’s now showing a serious and sincere face and it made your heart flutter. You leaned over and kissed him gently and he smiled and reaches up to tuck your hair behind your ear which calmed down your heart more. “I’ve never ever felt this amazing sugar and you made it happen. My heart cannot settle itself right now because you’re here in my arms now. I would do everything just to feel this way and to not lose you anymore Y/N. You have my whole heart, I promise.” he promised as you kiss him again and it planted a smile on your lips “So this is not a dream, yeah?” he asked doubtedly while cuddling you “Yeah, it isn’t kou,” you replied as you’re slowly drifting away from exhaustion. Slowly.. slowly.. slowly… “I really hope this isn’t fantasy. If this what I get for being alive? Then I want it. You are life y/n.” he confessed while caressing your face with the back of his hand as he momentarily appreciates your lovely existence. “I promise, even to death. I’ll love you forever Y/N,” he added as he also drifts away to sleep

*•.¸♡ gen. taglist ♡¸.•* here ya go @maviiiiic

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hopeswriting · 3 years

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The Arcobaleno Adulting Wrong AU Part 2

Alright, so part 1 was a long build up lol, but here’s the heart of the story, the conflict you may say.

Here’s part 1. You don’t have to read the prompt but also, I’ll love you if you do ksksksks.

WORDS: 3120

The Arcobaleno needs to be eight to pay their rent and other bills because they are struggling with making their own money, to say the least.

Now this is the Arcobaleno we're talking about. They’re hard-working, and resourceful, and doesn’t give up until they get what they want. It should only be temporary.

It isn’t.

Here’s the thing, they’re all dead set into following the wrong vocation.

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Lal wants to be a writer, but she simply can’t write for shit. She did write whole books already, from beginning to end, but were they good books?

Not really.

But it’s something she decided she would be since her childhood, and it means a lot to her.

See, Lal was—and still is—a tomboy, but that never stopped her to be in perfect tune with her feminine side, to like both of her side the exact same amount.

But she was always made to feel like she had to choose. By her girl friends, by her boy friends, by her parents, by the teachers, by her crushes, by everyone.

But then she found the book with a girl just like her, a girl who was both, and lived her life as both, and who was just allowed to. A girl who kicked ass and found love at the same time, a girl who was loved for whom she was, all she was.

And then she find all the other books like that.

And it was a game-changer.

Fon proposed to throw books at people to cheer her up, because it’s a thing she actually does. Throw books about whatever point she’s trying to make at people.

Her classmates in elementary quick learned to shut the fuck up about her lol.

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And so, that’s what she wants to do. For all the others girls and women who still might need to hear it. She’s writing fantasy-action books with equal place for romance.

But, again, she’s bad at it and no one wants to publish her. She already self-published because she wanted to give herself that, but she wants to be published and have her book actually reach as much of a big audience it can.

In the meantime she’s out there with an impeccable physical form, with an athletic body pros would damn themselves over, coaching her friends at the gym and actually giving them the results they wished for and more.

And she actually loves it. Doing sport, coaching people.

She could be the most popular fitness coach ever, or even better, could be out there at the Olympic Games breaking records, but, “haha, what?”

“No, this is just a hobby, something I like to do for me. Sports keep me grounded, that’s all.”

“I don’t see myself making money out of it.”

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Fon is still a martial art prodigy, still knows all these hundreds-ish martial arts. This is not what he does for a living.

He never even considered it once in his life to do this for a living.

Because you see, Fon found his calling really young. Calligraphy.

He used to practice it with his dad—still do—, and he just fell in love with the art. He finds it so pretty, so compelling, it moves him every time.

Often he finds himself stuck in front of a painting, or a sculpture, or listening to music for who knows how long, his mind blown away, and it’s the kind of feelings he wants to inspire with his calligraphy.

But Fon’s calligraphy is really just very average. He puts too much weight or not enough, he can’t move his wrist as smoothly as he should, and he’s a perfectionist so there’s a lot of starting-all-over-again the same piece.

And he’s just... very average.

But patience is a virtue, and hard work and devotion is always rewarded.

Or something.

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Reborn basically grew up in a coffee shop, raised by his single mother who couldn’t afford not to work full time, and with a boss understanding and kind enough Reborn could hang out in the shop, as long as he didn’t cause problems.

It’s a very happy period of his life too, full of nice memories, and that always inspire him feelings of love and warmth and happiness.

His mom eventually succeeds her boss and takes over the business namely thanks to her masterful way to do coffee, and the shop thrives even if it never makes it big.

Because his mom passes away, and she dpes give the shop to him in her will, but even now he can take care of the shop himself he just can’t make himself do it.

He opens his own coffee shop instead, and tells himself it’s because such good coffee must be widely spread in the world, and that it’s in homage to his mom, and he has to find someone worthy enough to pass down the family art of making coffee just in case.

Not because he’s chasing the feelings of the happiest period of his life, and he can’t quite let go of his childhood nor his mother yet, of course not.

Reborn doesn’t do in feelings like that.

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Now Reborn is a man of many skills for sure, but running a business just isn’t one of them.

His coffee shop... doesn’t become popular past their neighbors, and the clients Reborn seduced to try his shop, and his college aquaintances-to-friends he bullied into coming to his shop, and the clients Skull managed to gain through social media.

All of them become regulars though, because the coffee is actually really good.

Now Reborn is a man of many qualities, resourceful among them for sure, so if he’s not going to get rich thanks to his shop he just has to find other ways.

He’s handsome, so he figures he can become the sugar baby of an older, attractive someone, and kill them as soon as he makes it to her will.

It’s a hard no for the others.

Fine, then he just can kill people in exchange for money. It’s a thriving market no doubt, and really, there’s so many people just asking for it. Clearly they aren’t enough people yet doing the job.

The others make a hard rule against murders of any kind in any shape or form, unless you want to be kicked out of the apartment.

(These guys never let Reborn do anything.)

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In between running his business and trying to coax the others into accepting murders, Reborn teaches people. And quickly makes a name for himself for it in the neighborhood (and beyond).

He’s the kids’ nightmares, and the parents’ dream, but the results are there anyway, and quickly there’s always someone he has to go to, so he can teach them/their kids.

He creates a whole website for it, calls himself a private tutor when the others like to call him a babysitter with benefits (no, not like that) to make fun of him.

He hangs out a lot at his former college too, attends the classes, and challenges the teachers, and straight up takes over the classes too times and times again.

Also resolves unresolved so-called equations and makes presentations of them, and then goes back to his coffee shop because that’s just for his spare time.

It’s a lot of fun though. But too bad he was born to be the greatest coffee maker ever, am I right???

Because it sure is a job Reborn wouldn’t mind doing.

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A friend of a friend of a friend of Colonnello’s apparently found the perfect job for him. It’s a modeling gig.

Colonnello just rolls with it, because it’s not like he figured out what he wants to do yet.

He’s handsome, so it instantly launches him a career. He goes trending almost as quick, but then instead of making it big he just kinds of... stagnate just a level below.

Because as it turns out, the modeling world is all kind of fucked up???

And Colonnello will not stand for it, nu-uh, no sir. And he won’t be complicit in it either, and certainly won’t win it money and make it more popular.

He did sign a contract so he doesn’t quit, but his demands of being an ethical, morally good model reduces a lot of his opportunities to move up the ladder, and he kind of just... keep stagnating.

As it turns his agent is quite happy to stand by him, but that’s not doing much for either of their salary lol.

Colonnello wouldn’t quit anyway, because at some point standing up against the wrongdoings of the modeling world turns into changing it for the better or bringing it down.

Because you see, Colonnello is an extreme guy like that, an all or nothing guy.

And now that he has his blood pumping, well… he might as well invest all this energy somewhere, right?

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Colonnello writes all of it in his diary.

Yes, you read that right, just hear me out. Colonnello is actually the true writer of the group.

And I was just gonna play that up for fun first, but I actually love this idea.

Colonnello is a poet, and he’s good at it. He can write you a couple of lines more than decent on the spot without breaking a sweat.

He started his diary young, thanks to a throwaway joke of Reborn at his behalf, and never stopped since then.

He’s a bookworm too since forever, just read everything he can get his hands on, so that helped a lot. That, plus the fact he actually has quite the critical mind, which you wouldn’t guess at first glance.

He becomes the one Lal runs to whenever she hits a writer’s block, or a plot hole, or struggles with a scene or anything else.

They sit together for hours at times, and Colonnello always manages to kick start her brain—and words— again.

He writes poems for the others on the daily. Whenever he’s bored, or he feels like it, or is inspired by something or another.

He writes poems for everyone actually lol, as long as he likes you the barest minimum. (It’s always on his free will though, he doesn’t take requests, can’t write at the demand of others.)

Just... Poet!Colonnello. Think about it.

Because Colonnello sure as hell won’t lmao.

Guys don’t have writer as their possible jobs, right?

Right?

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Skull isn’t a terrible dancer per se, he just... doesn’t have the beat. And has a very unique dancing style.

He’s charming though, and exudes this very happy, contagious energy whenever he’s dancing, and is very graceful in his movements too.

Too bad he just too bad a dancer for that to cancel how bad he is though. If he wants to make that his way of living anyway.

Because he has a youtube channel for his dancing and its doing pretty good. Of course he has his lot of ‘fans’ who are there only to make fun of him, but also genuinely supportive fans who support him in his dream.

Skull has another youtube channel for his stunts.

He didn’t find his way in a circus in this AU, but did find his way to a bike and never lost it since.

He doesn’t know he’s immortal either/is a Cloud, but it sure as hell doesn’t stop him lmao.

That, plus the fact he’s just doesn’t have common sense, or self-preservation instincts, and he’s an adrenaline/speed junkie, and this youtube channel is a hell of a lot more popular.

It’s niche content, but widely known and admired among its intended target audience.

He’s regularly asked if/when he intends to make it to the big screen.

Always answer along the lines of “thanks man, but no way, this is just for fun you know? But check my awesome dancing channel so you can call yourself an OG fan once I make it famous ;)”.

Sure Skull, once you make it famous. One day for sure. Eventually.

------

Verde is quite simply bullied by the others into finding a job. After all, “you don’t look for roommates only for one of them to not participate in the bills?”

Now to be fair Verde does pay his share of the bills, but “hello, didn’t you look for us so you can save on your money??? Be reasonable.”

Verde doesn’t like this idea much. He still ends up as an accountant for a nearby little enterprise.

Whatever, but he better doesn’t hear anything else from them now. That’s too bad, because they kind of live together now.

And once the Arcobaleno catch on the fact he’s a genius genius, they just... don’t understand... what the hell he’s doing with his life???

(Which is fucking rich of them lmao, not that they’re aware of it.)

Now Verde makes plenty of use of his intelligence. He’s still a scientist like in canon, has multiple degrees from online school, has a lab and everything, but without the ‘madness’ part lol.

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Builds a lot of things, a lot of useful technical devices they use daily and that are full in their apartment.

And their neighbors’s apartments. And their whole building. And all the other buildings in their neighborhood.

Also repair stuff and things like that. He just became the jack of all trades of the neighborhood with time, and he’s quite happy with it.

Because you see, Verde is a man of the people. The modest, small people. And thus he refuses to put a price tag on any of his inventions.

Which Viper is baffled with because “that’s... doesn’t make any sense??? That’s not... how you manage money??? You’ll run out of your parents’s money eventually, and then you’ll need money from somewhere to keep building your inventions? You can just make other people who have the money pay for your inventions, so you can keep giving them for free to the people you want?”

Verde plays deaf.

The Arcobaleno do not let it go, and he holds up his inventions against them whenever they become too insisting.

(Verde could literally hack into a bank or something, and set them all off for life, but apparently it’s too much to ask???)

(Verde just doesn’t do good with fame. Or expectations. Or responsibilities.)

(But no one needs to know that.)

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Viper doesn’t do good with social interactions, so they’re really happy they can work from home and that Reborn’s coffee shop isn’t very successful at all.

They’d content themself with that, but unfortunately they have a dream of their own.

They’re a singer. Write their own songs too.

Which Skull finds awesome as fuck, and once in a blue moon manages to have them singing off-screen in his videos.

(On the oher hand he becomes a regular face across all Viper’s social medias.)

They’re good too, had their parents pay them lessons since middle school right up until they finished high school.

They consider saving money so they can keep the lessons going, but they’re not sure it’d be worth it.

Because Viper doesn’t do good with social interactions, let alone getting on a stage, and facing a public, and performing.

Haha, yeah, absolutely not.

Singing under the shower, and humming at random times, and karaoke nights once they’re drunk enough will just have to do.

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Luce is... all over the place. Starts businesses and runs multiple ones at the same time, and has them fail almost as quick as she comes up with them.

She tries cooking, and baking—it fails but at least now Reborn’s coffee shop also proposes baked goods; she tries painting, photography, music; she tries website designer, video producer, wood worker; she tries and tries and tries.

The others try to subtly stay updated on her various businesses to make sure she doesn’t go into debt, but Luce majored in International Business so she knows better than that, thank you very much.

She tries to stay clear of the children toys market because the whole point is for her to step out of her parent’s shadow, but she loves it and craves eventually.

She fails too, but takes up sewing in the meantime and loves the fact she can just come up with things and have full control on their designs.

She settles on fashion. Starts a website where she proposes her handmade sewn clothes, simple but with a touch of extravagance, like her outfit in canon. And handmade jewelries too.

Has Skull pitches in for both the designs and how to run her business ethically.

------

She proposes handmade jewelry, and she has a blast doing all of it, but she’s not exactly good at it.

She’s creative alright, and has the eye to make things aesthetically pleasing to the eye, but she has very niche tastes that don’t speak out to many, and she’s just kind of... average.

On the other hand dressing other people according to their own style and tastes, and finding the best of outfits for them, that she can do.

And she can do it great. Can pick up your style and what you’re going for in one look, and propose something even better.

She loves seeing how people beam at how comfortable and confident they feel in the outfits she picks for them.

Goes often on shopping trips with Reborn and they always come back with clothes for the others.

But sewing her own clothes though! Making her own jewelries! Getting to spread her creativity in the world and seeing it bring joy to other people!

That’s the good stuff.

------

Bermuda is their landlord. Yeah, you didn’t see that coming, did you?

He lives in the same building as them, with his husband Jaeger.

The Arcobaleno always late to pay rent but also never too late to pay it, and he’s a nice landlord anyway.

He’s actually not a nice landlord, but he’s very invested in the shit wreck that are these people's lives.

Because, how can they not realize that the perfect job for them that’d make them successful and where they’d thrive is right there under their nose?

It’s... so obvious???

What happened to these people brain cells anyway? Who’s holding the remaining ones and how they decide who gets to have them and when they do?

They must throw around some brain cells like hot potatoes between them if they can manage the responsibility of renting an apartment and keeping a roof above their head.

Now if only they’d let Bermuda teach them how to efficiently use them.

It makes for long conversation with Jaeger cuddled in their bed.

They decide the Arcobaleno suffer from Terminal Obliviousness with (more than) a dash of Stupidity.

Thank you for reading! In part 3 both the Vongola Tenth Gen and the Varia make an appearence. Can you guess how?

#khr au #khr arcobaleno #lal mirch #khr fon #khr reborn #khr colonnello #khr skull #khr verde #khr viper | mammon #khr luce #arcobaleno adulting wrong au #khr aaw au #in the au where luce is the only comptetent one among the arco #she discusses the arco's dumbassery on a daily basis with bermuda and jaeger lol #anyway i finally get around to post part 2 #won't make any promises for part 3 lmao #but it will come out in due times #mine

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ary-se · 4 years

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Mankai with a cat

a few months ago, our cat scratched me right on my cheek and my first thought out of all things was "what if mankai had a cat" pls get me out of this brainrot 😣

on a side note, this got way TOO LONG so i'm putting it under the cut!! this also works as an apology since i was gone for too long without notice 🙇‍♀️ as always, thank you for reading!

🐾 having a pet for the dorm was a subject mankai always brought up. it definitely sounds like a good idea for a domestic setting, but actually getting a pet is out of the question. sakyo didn't allow it due to obvious reasons, and of course it involved the company's budget.

🐾 there was one time however when muku and yuki went back to the dorms with a white stray cat that had a sprain. that time, sakyo would've given them a lecture like usual, but he gave in anyways and told them that they can foster the cat and they'll let it go after its leg gets better.

🐾 unfortunately for sakyo, everyone got way too attached to the cat before its sprain healed, and sakyo also adored the cat but of course he wouldn't openly admit that. after a week, when the cat got better, it only took a few buttons to push before sakyo agreed to finally keeping the cat, under the condition that they are not getting another pet again.

🐾 no one knew who started calling the cat koko, though it just seemed so natural that everybody else started to follow suit, which was pretty convenient because they didn't have to fight over the cat's name when mankai will finally keep her as a pet. (fun fact coco is the name of our cat)

🐾 that week, tenma deadass acted like an expecting father having his very first child, it was really unnerving to see. taichi and juza would often join tenma in shopping for random cat toys after school, which usually lasts longer than girls shopping for a singular pair of heels and that already says a lot

🐾 the conversation usually goes like this

tenma: "what's the best color for this toy mouse?"

taichi: "i like the red one!"

juza: "that's fine too."

tenma, after 10 minutes: "i see, i'll just buy all 7 colors"

🐾 tenma spoiled koko a LOT. teasers? balls? lasers? plushies? you name it, and tenma literally had them in ALL available colors. he did not really care if some of the toys remained untouched, as long as koko had something to be busy with. tenma had a huge ass box of cat toys that he could open up his own damn store and he'd get a lot of profit

🐾 tasuku literally had no idea why, but koko never scratched anywhere but his legs. is there some sort of magic on his legs?? if there was, it wasn't something tasuku is aware of, and he isn't sure if he wants to know what it is either.

🐾 it actually didn't hurt or anything, it just annoyed him when he needs to go somewhere else and the cat would just pounce to his direction to scratch his legs. tasuku feels bad on walking away, so all he does is stand up and wait until koko is done scratching his leg so he can finally move on.

🐾 when a scratching post was delivered to the dorm, koko has been all over it ever since. when tasuku noticed that koko never scratched on his legs anymore, it then just occurred to him that koko used his legs as a temporary scratching post. if he was being conpletely honest, he doesn't know how to feel about this.

🐾 know the meme of people making their babies choose their pokemon starter? that's what itaru did to koko, except he used the figurines of his waifus instead of pokemon plushies. he'd carry koko to the table, and the figurine koko will knock over would determine who her best girl supposedly is.

🐾 what he didn't know was that koko wouldn't knock one figurine over, but ALL FIVE OF THEM, and they all went rolling from the table and fell down to the floor. he swore that one of the figurines easily gets broken since its glasses came off at some point, and until that moment his trust towards animals has never been tested so bad. gladly, none of the figurines broke so koko is not yet in itaru's hit list.

🐾 even with all the toys tenma showered her with, koko finds itaru's hair on a ponytail very entertaining. itaru doesn't really mind koko messing with his hair as long as his gaming stays uninterrupted, though he gets annoyed when koko pulls a part of his hair too hard. he also somehow gets pissed whenever his hairtie falls off during a crucial moment, but he doesn't have the heart to get mad at koko so he lets her off the hook for so many times.

🐾 if omi is already such a mom to mankai, he is even more of a mom to koko. there is a sack of cat kibbles stored away for weeks, but it still remains untouched up to this day because omi always whip up homemade meals for her.

🐾 there was a time when omi cooked up turkey, mashed potatoes and corn for koko's dinner, but he didn't prepare anything for the actual human beings in mankai. omi was just like, "oh haha, there is leftover curry in the fridge. we probably should finish that first"

🐾 in other words, koko isn't subjected to curry hell. never. cats actually aren't supposed to eat curry or else something would happen. even if cats were allowed to eat curry though, it is highly doubtful that omi will make koko eat curry on a daily basis. if omi is an actual mom, everyone would collectively agree that the favorite child is koko. no buts, no questions asked, that's it.

🐾 it was a given that cats don't like water, so everyone was really surprised when they learned that koko LOVES water. the first time they learned it was when sakuya went to wash the dishes like usual, only for koko to literally pounce by the sink. she waits for sakuya to turn on the faucet and everytime sakuya does, she just sticks her paw out to the water until he turns it off. it was an adorable sight.

🐾 it definitely made sakuya slower on washing the dishes, but he does not really mind one bit, he actually enjoys the company. he opted to use a bit more dishwashing soap after he noticed that koko also liked to play with the excessive foam and bubbles on the sink whenever he finishes doing the dishes.

🐾 everyone in mankai, especially sakuya, already made it a habit to call out to koko whenever they're about to do the dishes so koko wouldn't have to wait for the sound of the faucet before running to the sink. it already is a routine every after mealtime.

🐾 was it already mentioned that koko likes water? yes. whenever the boys get in the bath, koko also joins in the damn tub and REFUSES to leave. after some time, the boys already accepted it and just let the cat stay in the tub, losing their sense of privacy in the process. they also bought little rubber duckies and those bubble bath products so koko can play around with the excessive amount of bubbles and the rubber duckies in the tub.

🐾 there was one time when omi woke up super early to prepare breakfast, though he went to the bathroom first and nearly shit on his pants when he saw koko in the empty tub. no koko, he isn't going to fill the tub with water if you just stay there. get out of there and sleep in your own damn bed.

🐾 koko also follows anyone who is on their way to the bathroom, ALWAYS assuming that they'll fill up the tub every time they do get in the bathroom. sorry to break this to you koko, but taichi wouldn't get in the bathroom 8 times a day to take a bath every single time, he just really wants to pee... please give him a break

🐾 koko always joins tsumugi when he is in the garden, though it was only because she wants to drink on the water coming out of tsumugi's watering can. when there are water droplets on the leaves, she climbs up and licks them off. unfortunately, it is one of the reasons why tsumugi started to yell on a daily basis, "KOKO NO THAT PLANT IS POISONOUS DON'T LICK THAT—"

🐾 tsumugi wouldn't have to warn koko forever though, since she'd eventually memorize what plants are poisonous and what are not. sometimes, after tsumugi is done watering the plants, he'd fill the watering can with water again just so koko would get in the can and chill for who knows how long.

🐾 koko is attached to muku for obvious reasons (he picked her up when she was injured!!) so koko is often in their shared room with kazunari. sadly, there was a time when muku took a break from reading the shoujo manga to grab some water, and when he got back, koko was already tearing it into pieces.

🐾 muku did not get angry at koko, but the cat knew something was wrong when muku was trying to stop himself from crying that koko already knew not to tear any of muku's books in the future. koko still felt really bad about it even after muku bought a new copy of that specific volume.

🐾 whenever kazunari is rushing an art project that is to be passed the next day, muku holds koko close to him so koko wouldn't be able to somehow ruin the painting. there has already been an instance wherein koko stepped all over the painting when muku and kazunari wasn't in the room, and that better not happen ever again.

🐾 gladly, kazunari was calm about it and found a way to fix the blue pawprints all over the white paint, but only god knows what will happen once koko messes up the painting again when kazunari is getting SO close to breaking down because of the deadline.

🐾 there are times when kazunari prefers to eat bread with charcoal and drink his paint water than having koko step all over his artwork, and muku better make sure kazunari does none of that

🐾 banri is unfortunately one of those people who pretends to be a dick around their pets. more often than he would admit, he'd act like he is about to throw a punch to koko, only to actually give it gentle pats on the head. banri throwing the cat mid-air and catching her is already a common sight, too.

🐾 he finds it funny scaring koko in all sorts of ways, especially when it comes to heights. banri would carry koko up high, and pretend to drop her just to catch the cat again. sakyo has reprimanded him a lot of times regarding this situation, but he brushes it off.

🐾 there was one time however when banri just carries koko up high and stays that way. the cat was literally scared shitless of being high up on mid-air unmoving, she literally had no choice but to piss right on banri's face. ever since that time, banri toned down his tendencies of teasing the cat

🐾 koko ALWAYS sleeps with hisoka. it doesn't matter where, will it on top of the sink? on the tree? below the table of the living room? you name it, and you see koko and hisoka stuck to each other like glue. somehow it feels like koko became a replacement of penpen. the poor stuffed toy probably got messed up by the cat, waiting to finally get fixed in yuki's room

🐾 koko got hisoka's habit of sleeping literally everywhere that it became really concerning. there was a time when tsuzuru noticed that koko was nowhere to be found, and everyone went batshit looking at her all over the city. even sakyo got mad at everyone because they weren't keeping an eye out of the cat while everybody else is gone. after how many hours of searching, turns out the cat was just sleeping inside the fucking washing machine

🐾 funny enough, taichi and koko have the SAME eyes. like, actual striking blue. taichi usually carries her and parades around the dorm, announcing the news to everyone even though he has said it for like the 83rd time that day. nobody really minds though, the coincidence is still too unreal. the quote "like pet, like owner" doesn't really apply to koko and taichi though, because if anything, it feels more like comparing a cat to a puppy

🐾 taichi is also the one who plays with koko the most, which solely meant that he also used the cat toys tenma bought as much as the cat herself did. at this point, it wouldn't be wrong if they said that the toys were bought for BOTH koko and taichi because even taichi sometimes finds entertainment in using the teaser by himself whenever the cat is being held by somebody else.

🐾 as much as yuki refuses to admit it, he actually gets concerned when koko climbs up in all sorts of countertops, because that would mean koko would also NOT hesitate to climb up to his sewing machine. he is already meticulous when it comes to his materials for sewing, but even moreso now.

🐾 every after yuki finishes sewing, he tightly encloses the sewing machine with a case so that the cat wouldn't get to touch it and potentially get hurt. yuki also used to just leave his sewing materials on the desk, but nowadays he actually keeps them into somewhere secure so as to not harm anybody. he can't have koko's paws bleeding just because of some damn pin that rolled on the floor

🐾 yuki also somehow feels bad when he drives the cat away from him by force every time he is working on the costumes for the next play. he doesn't know what the cat is thinking, but he hopes that koko knows he is just trying not to actually make her bleed over some needles. as a repayment, yuki lets koko bother him all she wants whenever he does his homework with muku.

🐾 since masumi always used to be alone at home, he always thought of the possibility of adopting a pet cat that would keep him company. that constant thought he had already dissipated when he started living in the mankai dorm, so when they decided to take koko in, he remembered the specific reasons why he wanted to own a cat.

🐾 he never let anyone willingly in his personal bubble except for the cat, which he accepted pretty easily. masumi also found it kind of amusing to blast songs on shuffle from his phone because koko had her own way of showing if she likes the song or not. if she likes it, she doesn't do anything. if koko doesn't, she taps her paw on his phone a lot of times as if telling him to change the song. most of the time, masumi obliges.

🐾 every time tsuzuru opens the fridge really late at night, he has to double check if koko is inside the fridge or not before he closes it. there was one time when he didn't notice koko get in the fridge while getting energy drinks. the cat pretty much stayed in there for hours and hours until omi opened the fridge to make breakfast. tsuzuru was lectured by sakyo that morning because he would be ultimately responsible if the cat died in the fridge from freezing her ass off

🐾 whenever tsuzuru gets in a writing frenzy, koko keeps him company late at night. unfortunately for tsuzuru, if he stops typing for at least 10 seconds, koko takes that as a sign to pounce on his keyboard and just lay down there. tsuzuru already knew better than to carry her away from his keyboard since the cat will be insistent enough to return to his keyboard, so he usually gives up and goes to bed, saving the ideas in his head for the next time he wakes up.

🐾 because of that, every time tsuzuru finishes a script for the next play, his tendencies of passing out right after handing the script to somebody else significantly lessens. tsuzuru doesn't know if the cat is just trying to be annoying or if she just wants him to get some sleep, but either way he doesn't really mind because he gets to stop himself from overworking. well sorta

🐾 juza almost never approaches koko. like never. it feels like he is openly avoiding the cat for some apparent reason, and nobody knows why, but in reality he is just scared as shit of the damn cat. what if koko gets mad at him? what if she suddenly gets aggressive and scratches him? honey you're way bigger than her, and koko wouldn't hurt you... really it's okay

🐾 juza's way of offering affection to the cat is to give her some portions of his meal during dinner, sometimes breakfast. he tries to be sneaky about it, but he legitimately has no idea that everyone knows. it becomes more obvious when koko already made it a habit to sit on the chair behind juza every meal time to get more food. that still happens even after omi just filled up her fucking bowl. nobody comments about it though, they find it hilarious

🐾 koko always tries to test homare's patience, but for some reason homare literally doesn't give a single fuck. every time he is writing something down, high chances are koko would spread the ink all over his paper. sometimes she'd try to crawl her way in his coat sleeve, and homare, he just....... doesn't mind.

🐾 if homare is actually busy however, he'd take out his necktie from his vest if koko doesn't want to leave his lap. most of the time, she actually plays with it like it's a teaser. homare is fine if the necktie gets destroyed, he has a lot of neckties in his closet and some of them are specifically for the purpose of koko messing with them

🐾 not to mention that he also finds it really amusing that koko gets overly excited when it comes to lasers. homare is curious why this would be the case, so he usually uses the laser to play with koko when he has free time. he doesn't think of where he points the laser though, so his wooden desk ends up having a lot of scratches. again, he knows and he doesn't care in the slightest.

🐾 misumi adores koko so much. her ears are triangles, her paws are triangle, her nose is triangle. she is a fucking triangle. with the help of kazunari, he already has a whole album of koko's best pictures in polaroid films. most of them are in a photo book so that everyone has a physical copy to look at, while some of them are taped on misumi's wall. the ones on misumi's room are particularly the ones where her ears are especially prominent.

🐾 at least twice or thrice a week, misumi brings koko out of the dorm and brings her to other groups of stray cats that misumi deems trustworthy. nothing bad happens to koko gladly, because only god knows what would happen once misumi's instincts tell him something horrible is about to happen to their pet cat, and they're always spot on

🐾 citron has ZERO sense of personal space when it comes to koko. citron would literally touch koko anywhere, thinking she is fine with it. unfortunately, there are times when citron pets koko on parts she doesn't want to be touched, particularly the tail and the area around it. citron's hands always end up covered in scratches. over time, he memorized where he should and shouldn't touch like the back of his hand

🐾 citron made a koko jr. which was completely intended to be for display purposes. the cat saw it as a new mouse toy however, so it didn't take a whole day for koko jr. to look like a ball of messed up wool. it doesn't look like a damn cat anymore, though it passes as an extremely fluffy and distorted alpaca

🐾 sakyo never shows affection to the cat. no pets, no strokes, nothing. the most he does to koko is spare her a glance, and sometimes he even glares at her from a distance when sakyo gets too absorbed in his thoughts... despite that, everyone wonders why every time sakyo comes home, she gets more energetic greeting him compared to how she'd greet the rest of the boys when they come back to the dorm

🐾 azuma knows. he would sometimes stay up for late night talks with sakyo, and through their conversations that's when azuma learns how much sakyo cares. azuma often helps sakyo out on trimming koko's nails when they're getting kind of long, trying to be as careful as possible so as to not hurt her.

🐾 azuma is also amused at the fact that sakyo tries to ignore koko resting on his lap, or when he pretends not to notice the cat trying to slip in the pockets of his coat. knowing sakyo, he'll definitely complain about the white fur on his black coat later on. as funny as it is, azuma knows better than to say a word about it.

🐾 before kazunari realized it, his camera roll is pretty much filled with random pictures of koko. most of them are just derp pictures, though... kazunari captures her weird quirks, like how she likes to fall asleep with all fours spread out like a starfish, or how she constantly make noises on the door stopper if she wants to get in the room. the picture with koko's most horrified face on it was when banri threw her high up mid-air, and that is never going to get deleted.

🐾 they find everything the cat does very adorable, even though she is just drinking water from her bowl. or when her tongue gets stuck on the ice tray omi brought out from the fridge. or when she yawns and taichi sticks a finger in her mouth and she doesn't know what to do next. or when she squints her eyes at homare when he gets in a blabbering rampage. literally everything.

🐾 at some point, kazunari thought it'd be a good idea to have those cat tunnels mounted on walls so there will be more room for koko to play. he just said it out of nowhere, but everyone agreed on that idea. after a week or two, the whole dorm is basically a cat playground with a crapton of shelves, slides, and tunnels on the walls, save for the practice room, bathroom, and the bedrooms.

🐾 did sakyo said that they are never, ever getting another pet after koko? yeah right, there's no way that's actually happening. high chances are they got more cats so that the cat playground they all built together will get utilized. the more, the merrier!! even though sakyo complains a lot about the expenses, they all know he isn't against the idea, though they better not tease him for it or sakyo will definitely take it back

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seyaryminamoto · 4 years

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A decade in review

So... I figured I’d join the corny crowd of people who are talking about their growth and achievements this decade. Looking back can actually help a lot when you lose sight of where you’re standing or where you’re going, soooo...

I started this decade halfway through writing an original story that I didn’t take all that seriously at the time. I was in ninth grade, so sure, I was young... and yet, as some people might know, I was clawing my way out of the worst depression I’ve ever faced. If you guys thought you’d seen my low points... yeah, no, I’ve never again hit a low point as badly as I did back then. Yet even though difficult things happened through the rest of the decade, I learned enough lessons from that early, terrible and distressing time (which happened at the end of the previous decade, to be precise, which is why it’s honestly not worth going into right now) that I managed to stay afloat, even if not easily, upon each new opportunity where depressions knocked on my door up to date.

Now, beyond my mental health, I was still in music school at the start of 2010, and I was certainly no longer as enthusiastic about it as I had been when I first enrolled. I didn’t realize at the time that my calling was something else entirely... and the more I wrote that story I mentioned above, the more I leaned away from one branch of art and towards another.

I think I got my first graphic tablet either in 2009 or 2010, at one of my birthdays. My sister dropped the pen on the first day, the tip broke and I flew into the worst of rages :’D she was so apologetic about it, I don’t think I’d ever seen her quite so remorseful, which was why I toned down eventually and cut her slack, did my best not to bring it up again... anyways, I learned to draw with that thing despite the malfunctioning pen, and the first artworks I did weren’t exactly brilliant... here’s one of them, one of the few I actually finished :’D

... Safe to say, I’ve learned a lot since those days, right? :’D

(also, if anyone wonders, that artwork features the main characters of that original story I mentioned, the original file is dated for April 2010, so indeed, a file from early on in the decade :’D)

Slowly, but surely, my life started to revolve more and more around writing and reading/watching stories of all sorts. I’d spend hours and hours every day watching anime (yep, my weaboo phase in full swing!), I’d devour most books that fell into my hands, and I even ended up volunteering at a library (does it really count as volunteering if the government forces you to volunteer or else you can’t graduate from high school...? Hmmmmmm...). I actually chose that library because most other options were basically to play babysitter for either kids or senior citizens, and I sure didn’t think I was equipped to deal with either thing. A library, though, meant I’d work with books most of all, and I was pretty sure I’d be more useful at that job.

Cue the irony that, because I was apparently so helpful, they decided to give me more important duties, such as DESK DUTY, because the other volunteers weren’t as trustworthy as me, and bye-bye to working directly with books. Haha. Sad.

But that temporary, sort-of job at that library definitely changed my outlook on my future, even if it felt like such a fortuitous thing, something I was forced to do rather than choosing to do it of my own volition.

For all my life I’d felt a ton of pressure because my family is always more science-oriented than any other I’ve ever met. So I had to excel at school because that was expected of me (all my siblings had, so I couldn’t lag behind them, I’d been disgustingly competitive with my siblings for too long to reason with it yet), and I actually was decent at science subjects. I blindly thought that science was the only possible path for me in life. I was seriously planning on going into engineering because I more or less enjoyed chemistry... but every time I thought about what it meant to finish a major in engineering of any sort, I always ended up asking myself one question: would I have time to write in that sort of career?

The mere thought of office work, lab work, which were guaranteeed to be the best thing I could aspire to once I finished college for engineering, sounded like a morbid funeral march to me. I honestly found myself thinking that’d be a waste of my life. And that’s not to say anyone who actually spends their life that way is wasting theirs, but I KNEW it wasn’t my calling.

One day, while at that library, I realized what my actual calling was: I wanted that life. I wanted to work with books, whether making them or writing them or selling them or just about anything to do with the business. A mix of my crazy storytelling passion with that particular job experience brought me to the conclusion that I needed to forsake my family’s big ole’ scientific legacy and to make my own choices. My three siblings could easily enough carry forward that “legacy”, I could do my thing instead.

I think that decision, which took more courage than I thought I had, was probably one of the best I’ve made in my entire life. Telling my mother I’d go into literature was NOT easy and I literally had to make the equivalent of a sales pitch for her to agree to it, investigating all I could about the career, researching as much as possible to show her there WERE career possibilities I could pursue if I chose this major, until she finally relented. And that success meant I was off to a whole new world of crazy once I graduated from high school.

Which I did indeed, in 2012. I wouldn’t start college until 2013 because my major’s first semester wouldn’t start until March, so I had a nice long break because the school year, in my country, ends in July. I had been exhausted of studying at the time, so the break was absolutely welcome.

In the early stages of that time period, I actually finished that big ole’ original story of mine, and I couldn’t have been prouder of myself for it, even if I was sure I’d never show it to anyone. I was embarrassed of it, to a fault, because there was a lot of ridiculousness in it, the plot was all over the place despite following the storytelling beats I’d learned through the many anime I’d watched, and eventually it evolved into something completely different from what it started out as. I sometimes allowed myself to imagine what it would be like to write a big story that I could share with people and hopefully get more than a handful of readers for... Still, I tucked my original story away safely, because even if it was embarrassing, I was proud of what I’d learned with it. So I went on with a new original story, one I was DEAD SURE I’d be a better writer for, and that I would be much more successful with.

My sister visited us during that summer, and she showed me, my other sister and my mom, a certain TV series that she had very much enjoyed despite we had never thought much of it back when it was airing.

I’d seen a couple of episodes back in the day, but none had quite impressed me. The first episode I saw had made the show appear like some sort of lame “villain of the week” show, and the second one (I probably only caught the second half of this one) had such mixed values and morals that I was completely appalled by it and decided it wasn’t my thing. Then I, uh, also watched the final minutes of the final episode and it seemed so very melodramatic for the SCARRED GUY to ask SOME IMPRISONED GUY where his mother was, only for the show not to address the answer at all and cut to a pair of kids kissing on a balcony.

Sooooo... my very unimpressed self had decided ATLA wasn’t my thing because of The Great Divide, the Southern Raiders and the last three minutes of Sozin’s Comet: Avatar Aang :’) I’m funny that way.

This time around, watching it from scratch, I was slightly more interested in it because the first few episodes DID look like there was a coherent plot that was going somewhere. So even though my mom and other sister didn’t keep watching (at the time), I decided to watch it by myself because well, why not?

... Cut to seven years later and here I am, still neck-deep in this particular, dark corner of that specific show’s fandom. September of 2012 was when the Seyary you all know came into existence (?)

I won’t lie and say my experience in this fandom hasn’t been a damn rollercoaster in its own right. I certainly started off with WAY more enthusiasm than I have now, just look at my Author’s Notes from my first stories or Gladiator’s first chapters and read my hyped notes for yourselves :’D I definitely was caught by the magic of the Avatarverse, the characters, so much about ATLA seemed to exude potential and, after being disappointed by the popular anime of the time (*cough* SAO *cough*), ATLA (and later LOK Book 1) were a breath of fresh air for my weaboo brain that was sick and tired of some really annoying tropes anime seemed to be throwing at me left right and center (I’M SO DONE WITH THE IMOUTO FETISH TO THIS DAY, I CATEGORICALLY REFUSE TO WATCH OR READ ANY DAMN STORY WITH ANYTHING FEATURING THAT GROSS AND FUCKED-UP CONCEPT).

So I enjoyed ATLA a lot, and then LOK Book 1 (I virtually watched all of that in one day and had REALLY HIGH HOPES for the next seasons. Heh. I’ll leave that as that). And like everyone who gets hyped about fandoms, I decided I needed to look up more stuff about it! Art, fics, you name it! And while I really enjoyed LOK back then, I had thought Korra’s story would unfold in a cool way in future seasons, since all four of them (I think) had been confirmed by the time I joined the fandom... whereas I was dissatisfied and in dire need of fix-it situations for my favorite ATLA character.

I started off looking for general Azula fics. Then, as usual, I started testing ships for her. There were some ships I never saw the point to, and I shall not name them, there were some ships I saw partial potential to but I wasn’t exactly thrilled about them, so again I shall not name them...

And then one day I was scouring DeviantArt and came across the gem you all know about, which I’ve gushed over for all these seven years as the entire reason I converted to this particular ship.

Secret Kiss by Saniika can be credited, 100%, for planting the seed of Sokkla in my head. I didn’t understand it right away, why lie, but I was definitely intrigued. All other Azula ships I’d found were shipped for obvious reasons, easy enough to pinpoint even if none was all that satisfactory for me... so I was confused by this one, absolutely. Why would someone ship this ship? Why would they ship it so hard as to commission such quality artwork about them? The same commissioner’s name popped up in pretty much every single epic artwork about these two at the time, and I was completely blown away by that. To be so dedicated to a ship, to make all those artworks about a huge story about them that I couldn’t seem to find in FF.net at the time...

Cue the surprise when I actually ended up befriending said commissioner barely a few months later, and she’s hands down one of the best friends I’ve ever had :’)

Still, no need to head into that particular territory right now xD I was curious about the pairing, but I was also wary. I looked for fics, none really seemed to tell canon-compliant stories about how they could have gotten together post-ATLA... at least, not while they were still young. I looked at a few stories but nothing really hit home yet.

Back in these days, I used to go to... gosh, the cringe of just saying so, to FACEBOOK for fandom purposes of all kinds. Yeah, I know Facebook communities aren’t necessarily terrible, but I sure as fuck ended up in all the wrong ones :’) so... heh. I befriended someone who had an Avatar page, and while in conversation with him, the subject of LOK’s Pro-Bending came up. We talked about how much fun it would be for ATLA’s benders to play it. And so, a few weeks later, on a bus ride back home after meeting some high school friends, I allowed the idea to blossom further. And suddenly I was 100% caught up in it, deciding I’d have to feature Azula somehow, and I decided to try my luck at doing that by making her Sokka’s girlfriend :’D his inexplicable girlfriend, at the moment. All of it, just for shits and giggles. Because why not!

So I wrote that story, both because of that momentary bout of inspiration and because my second big original story was falling apart on me due to world-building reasons. Do NOT ever talk to me about Celtic calendars. If you do, I will block you into infinity (?). So yeah! A writer’s block caused by Celtic calendars resulted in my decision to calm down by writing something else for a change.

I had little hopes to finish Origins of Pro-Bending, simply because I didn’t write fics. Whenever I had tried to write any around those years, it had NOT gone well. I had always fallen apart after a couple of chapters, failed to keep up the momentum, fumbled the story as a whole in the end. So I decided to take this easy, and I posted it to FF.net despite not being sure I was ready for that: I hadn’t written a story in English in AGES, and you do NOT want to know what was the story in English I’d written before this. You do not. If you even ask, I WILL BLOCK YOU EVEN MORE THAN I DID WITH THE CALENDAR! *heavy breathing*

Okay, so... back to the topic, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t really expect much, because I figured not a lot of people would really care for anything I posted. But then... that view counter started to shift. The numbers kept going up, and the more chapters I posted, the more it did. The reviews also poured in, slowly at this point, and then in a certain chapter there were NO REVIEWS AT ALL. Which I considered a fail. I honestly thought it meant my story was a flop, a failure, and I should just STOP because NO ONE CARED.

... Have I ever been accused of being overly dramatic? If not, it’s only because I hide it relatively well... sometimes :’)

But I said “it’s okay, I’ll finish it. My friend wants to read it after all, and I’ll just write it so he can see it to the end. I’ll finish uploading on FF.net even if no one cares anymore, because maybe someone someday will want to read it, even if no one does now”.

... Overly dramatic Seyary then finished her story and halfway there came up with the idea for a NEW ONE! The PREQUEL! The story of how Sokka and Azula fell in love! All by listening to The Reason. And as much as I had thought I wouldn’t keep writing fics after OoPB, that idea was too powerful to ignore. So when OoPB picked up reviews and views all over again and ended with what I considered was a BANG, I said “THIS SHOW’S NOT GONNA STOP HERE!” and I went and wrote the Reason next, obsessively, literally pushing through the entire, near 100K story, in A MONTH. I honestly wrote every day. I’d NEVER done something like that :’) Granted, I was pretty constant with OoPB, but it was shorter and I wasn’t quite as psyched about it as I was with The Reason.

Honestly, The Reason is where I REALLY fell for Sokkla, for everything that it was, for everything that it could be. I had felt its potential since OoPB, and I had concluded Sokka could make Azula smile like next to no one else could... that is, if anyone else could at all. But the whole spectrum of it, the storytelling potential, the development of both characters... I hadn’t understood it yet. And by the time I did, with The Reason... wow, there really was no turning back.

So I ended up writing that, and then I wrote Break In and How They All Reacted. And in between I made a few AMVs that Viacom NICELY tore down and are no longer available for you guys. Sorry ‘bout that. I did what I could.

The thing that was getting to me most, though, (and, why lie, feeding my ego a bit too much) was looking at FF.net’s data spreadsheets, available only for each user: it wasn’t so much the number of readers, which did overwhelm me on its own right anyhow... it was the places they came from. The fact that I could see, according to this data, that people in South Africa were opening my story, in Romania, in New Zealand, in Singapore... I had allowed myself, very briefly, to imagine I would one day publish books and that they might not be complete fails, but I NEVER expected anything I wrote to be read by people who lived halfway across the world, who had entireliy different cultures from my own, who had no idea who I was but wanted to find something to read and had decided to click on my story, amongst all the many possibilities. That particular function of FF.net is probably my favorite on that site, like I said not because of the numbers but because of the places. Even if your readers aren’t outspoken or they don’t even bother favoriting, following or reviewing... they still count in ways they don’t imagine. They may just look like one more number on FF.net’s spreadsheets, but when that number is connected to a location it feels much more real, I think. As an author, that means that’s one more person, somewhere in the world, who decided to give my story a chance.

On a day of February, 2013, one such person left a review I really enjoyed and that I thanked him for profusely. In his response, he brought up that he had been watching documentaries about the Roman Empire and he had thought about an AU for ATLA where maybe Sokka was captured by the Fire Nation and turned into a gladiator, only to become Azula’s sponsored fighter later on, a fighter she’d want to sponsor merely to stave off boredom. He was bringing it up to me because he didn’t want to write it himself, and he thought maybe I would be interested in trying my hand at it since I seemed so passionate about Sokka and Azula.

At first I only thanked him for the idea, said I wanted to focus on my canon-based stories instead and I was sooooo not interested in AUs at the time...

Ahahahaha.

AHAHAHAHA.

Joke was on me the whole time.

As I’ve mentioned, I went to bed one day, about a month later, and my brain exploded with the possibilities of this story. I told this guy, he was thrilled. I told my closest fandom friends at the time, they were STOKED. One of them told me to get off my ass and start writing that ASAP. Which... I followed through with. Immediately.

It feels a bit strange to think I’ve been writing the same story for nearly 7 years now, with next to no breaks, with such persistence I barely can recognize my early 2010′s self from that. Nope, no worldbuilding nonsense stopped me here: I FIGURED THINGS OUT. I worked through it all. And then I figured it out some more.

Back when I was first scouting the fandom’s fanfiction archives (in FF.net in particular, seeing as I didn’t even have an AO3 account at the time), I remember looking at the biggest, top reviewed stories and wondering how it would feel to be the author of one of those. Most those stories had gotten started either early in the show’s run, or just earlier that same decade... nothing I did was bound to pick up that much steam, I thought, especially when I was writing about what was, by all means, a rarepair that I posted about on Tumblr to like... 8 notes per post. At best.

The first time someone sent me an ask to let me know Gladiator had made it into the first page of top reviewed fics I nearly fell over myself in shock. Admittedly, I’ve gotten used to the feeling by now... but at the time I could barely believe I’d come THAT far without really expecting or meaning to.

I’ve really dealt with a lot of nonsense alongside with the story, ups and downs, highs and lows, nasty situations just as blissful ones... people making art for my story was certainly an incredible highlight. That, as well, is something I did NOT think would ever happen to me. Unlike the top-reviewed page thing, it’s actually impossible to get used to art about your fic xD it’s always amazing.

And I’ve met people from all around the world, made friends far and wide, reached heights I didn’t think I would. I’ve said I’m much more jaded these days, it’s true enough, but that doesn’t mean I’ve lost sight of what this story means in the long run. Gladiator truly is the best story I’ve ever written, in just about every regard. Is it perfect? Have I made nothing but right decisions with it? Nah. But that doesn’t mean I’m not absolutely proud of it for what it is, for all the work I’ve poured into it, for every moment spent building that story into what it is and for how far I’ve come thanks to it.

Everything else in the decade really feels like a blur because of Gladiator, but I’ll say that I’ve as good as finished college by now (while writing Gladiator :’D), I have written all my thesis and am stuck waiting endlessly for my supervisor to goddamn answer me already to say whether I’m ready to go forward with the presentation yet and GRADUATE! But until then I’m stuck waiting on that, even if my college career is pretty much over.

As for my work experience... heh. I had two of those this decade. One... writing clickbait articles. Wow, was that shitty. I hated every second of it. I was pretty sure I was killing people by doing that, because some people are indeed gullible enough to believe the shit I was forced to write. And the pay? It was SHIT. So, as soon as I had a good excuse, I kicked that particular door shut and got out of that mess immediately. And then I got my TV station job too... which started great, and ended up being another shitty disaster. While it had some really wonderful highlights, I made friends with this senior, wonderful video editor who was endearing beyond belief, I learned a ton of things I wouldn’t have learned otherwise (like having the patience to put up with an iMac from 2009 in 2018, to name one thing!), but I also had to endure REALLY dreadful management that led me to even wonder how the damn network was even on-air half the time. The experience in that network taught me a lot about what to expect in work environments, and to NEVER trust the tried, boring and true “this place feels like a family!” claim. Half the time it’s like they don’t realize families are usually complicated, full of unpleasant power-based relationships, secrets, resentment and problems of all sorts. So sure, the workplace might be like a family. Definitely not like a GOOD family, though.

And speaking of families... I’ve developed new appreciation for mine over these years, just as I’ve grown enough to see the cracks everywhere, the problems, even all the way to realizing even an allegedly dream-like family like my own can absolutely be torn apart by miscommunication, pride, stubbornness and refusal of members to acknowledge their wrongdoings. I’ve done my best by my family despite that’s not saying much, I’m indeed a lazy butt who spends way too much time on a computer writing crazy stories rather than working around the house... but I think I’ve never felt more loved and appreciated by my parents as I have in recent times, especially this year. We’ve talked more, opened up more, they’ve even told me the story of how they fell in love (the growth of their relationship all documented through PHOTO ALBUMS!!), they’ve leaned on me in hard times and I think we’re tighter than ever.

On the downside... my grandfather died during this decade too. To this day the loss stings, even though by all means we weren’t the type of super-close grandfather and granddaughter who spend every waking moment together. But the thing is... we were so different, with so little in common, and yet that man loved me so genuinely, so unconditionally I could barely understand it. What had I ever done to be so important to him, beyond being his youngest granddaughter? I always had thought he would feel closer to other of his grandchildren, those who had more things in common with him, and yet when my grandmother died he wanted me to sit with him on the car on our way to the funeral, and just holding my hand seemed to help him gain strength to face what was coming.

In his final moments he hardly recognized anyone, not even my dad, his son. He kept talking about his childhood home, as though he had returned to his youth and forgotten where and when he was, losing all connection with time and space. But when my dad told him I was there, visiting him... he smiled. And he called me the nickname he always used for me. To the last moment, he knew who I was. I mattered, even if I didn’t know why. When they told me he had passed away I cried, and I cried some more, and to this day I feel like crying for it still, sometimes. I will never, EVER doubt my grandfather truly loved me, and I’ll always carry that with me, no matter where the world goes. I’ve lucked out with this family, but I’d never known unconditional love like the one he always showed me. He was a special man, and losing him certainly was one of the saddest moments in this decade.

Aaalright, so, on a less emotional note... I’ve certainly improved a fuckload with my art, which you all must imagine after the glimpse at one of my earliest artworks up there. That I’ve gone from that to this...

speaks for itself, I hope :’) It’s supposed to be same characters, this one was finished earlier this month. I didn’t post it until now because I frankly didn’t expect anyone would understand what it was or care for it much x’D but it seemed the right opportunity to post it now, especially when talking about art growth.

In any case, I may still have a ton of anxiety to this day, and I definitely am not as confident in many areas as I was when the decade began, I realized I honestly don’t have all the answers and I always have to be ready to learn new things from people, no matter who it is. There’s some regards in which I haven’t progressed enough in, why lie... but I’m hoping the next decade will bring meaningful changes in that department, such as my plans to leave the country, which should come to fruition by next year around March, if all things go according to keikaku (I’ll surely have to return after 6 months, but it’s better than nothing at least). And of course, I do hope I’ll continue to grow as a writer, that all this experience with Gladiator will mean I’ll be 100% ready to write any future original stories I want to (and that I’ll be able to rewrite that specific story and move beyond the slump I fell into because of the DAMN CELTIC CALENDAR!!).

Also, just in case I didn’t get it across in other posts where I mentioned it, I revisited that old original story last year, and despite the messes and mistakes and ridiculousness of it... I love it more now than I ever did before. I’m really proud of it. I know most people cringe at everything they wrote when they were younger... I honestly can’t do anything but look back in pride. My starting point was the best one it could possibly have been.

Now, what’s my resolution for the next decade?

Finishing Gladiator

Yeah, there’s probably going to be other stuff I’ll want to do too. But for now, that shall be the priority. It won’t take just a year, it probably won’t take two... but I will absolutely see this big, chaotic baby to the last moment, and I will savor and suffer and cry and rejoice every step of the way. There is much left I want to achieve, many new objectives to conquer, and I’m going towards them with as open a mind as I can muster. May this 2020, and the years that follow, mark a new starting point that I’ll look back on with pride, just as I can do the same with where I started off in 2010.

Happy New Year to all of you who read this really long post, and I really hope you have a great year and decade, and starting point of your own, in 2020.

#seyary rambling #sorta personal but #you're all welcome to read it #if you have like #20+ minutes to spare #did anyone ever praise me for brevity #no they did not #should i be proud of that #no i am not #that's one more thing I probably should learn in the coming decade #to cut myself slack #and my words #because I ramble too much :')#anyhow #happy new year to all of you through the tags in case you don't care to read the post #it has been one really crazy decade #one I never expected to end the way it is ending #but admittedly I've come much further than I ever thought I would #may the next decade be better though

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pynkhues · 5 years

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Idk if you're taking prompts for Center and Circumference but if you are..... I'd love to see Beth and Rio putting together Ikea furniture annnnnnnd I'd die to see them way "I love you". If you don't do this, that's okay!!! I love your stories and I know I'll enjoy anything you do!!!

This is so silly, anon, haha, but here you go:

“Can you just - - hold it.”

Rio grunts from the other side of the hutch, pushing his weight so heavily back against it that Beth almost topples back onto the floor of Danny’s bedroom.

“I said hold it, not push it,” she snaps, hands still gripping the cheap timber frame, feeling the sweat beading at her temple, dampening her hair. She knew she should’ve tied it up. Awkwardly tilting her neck, she tries to wipe her forehead as best she can on the arm of her tank top, regretting it almost instantly when all she does is leave a smear of sweat at her already clammy shoulder.

“We should’a just got him the one from my guy.”

“I am not buying a nine-year-old a $1,200 desk,” she insists, fumbling against the carpet with her free hand for one of the screws. “All he’s going to do on it is his homework and probably cover it with stickers of dinosaurs and skateboards.”

Or draw on it, she thinks, but she doesn’t feel any desire to tell Rio that. Rio seems to have made it a personal mission to get Danny to draw on paper instead of his sisters, the bannister, the fence outside, the fridge, the kitchen counter. The thing was, Danny was pretty good at it, naturally artistic, which seems to have triggered something in Rio. God, he’d even bought him an art set and taken him to some afterschool classes, but it was no good. Danny’s interest in art seemed to taper off the second a pencil was put in his hand and a sheet of paper in front of him. Beth figured he’d grow out of it, but she’d had to endure more than one rant about it from Rio as they got ready for bed.

Slipping the screw into the side of the hutch, she throws an arm out for the allen key, and when she can’t reach, glances up at Rio, who’s still holding his side of it together, an irritated look on his face.

“Rio,” she says, and when he looks at her, she gestures towards the allen key. It takes him a minute to actually grab it and pass it over, and Beth really thinks she should’ve just called Annie or Ruby to do this with her instead.

It had seemed like a simple enough thing – Danny needed a desk. Danny needed a desk because Kenny had decided, with highschool only a few weeks and a summer break away, that he was above anything so childish as doing homework with his little brother at the dining room table or the kitchen island. Beth sighs, turning the allen key over in her fingers, remembering Danny’s tears over the whole thing, and it had been easier to try and get him excited over a new special desk just for him than it had been to try and get Kenny to shake off his new adolescent ideas and resentments and just sit at the damn table with his brother.

“You waitin’ on an invitation or what?” Rio asks her, pulling her out of her thoughts, and she rolls her eyes, shoving the allen key into the screw and tightening the frame of the hutch.

Ikea had seemed like a simple enough thing too, and she’d been happy to go on her own or with one of the girls, knowing that Rio would turn his nose up at it, but he’d initially seemed happy enough to go with her. She thinks they were both mature enough to admit it had been a mistake. They’d been arguing the second they’d driven into the carpark (they had different ideas of what was most convenient – he’d wanted to park closest to the loading bays, she’d wanted to park closest to the exit), and really, the whole thing had just devolved from there.

Rio raps his fingers on the top of the hutch, gesturing back for the allen key, and Beth finishes her side before passing it over to him, watching as he lays in the last two screws, his big fingers nearly swallowing the thing. When he’s done, he stands up quickly, grabbing the finished hutch in one hand and propping it onto the top of the little desk, pushing it down onto the jelly-bean-sized timber stubs which seem to personally offend him.

Still Beth can’t quite contain her glee at it, clapping.

“Look at it!” she says, delighted, as Rio steps away from the now-finished desk. He shakes his head back at it, but holds a hand down towards Beth, helping her up off the floor.

“This shit ain’t built to last.”

“We don’t need it to last,” she replies, turning around to grab the now-empty bags of plastic, the instructions, the padding from the flat-pack box. “We need it to get Danny to highschool.”

“Feels temporary,” Rio adds, still eyeing it off, and Beth laughs, still scrunching up the last of the padding for the bin.

“You love temporary.”

She’s almost out the door into the hallway when she turns back to see Rio still eyeing off the desk, his lips pursed, like he’s deep in thought, and Beth rolls her eyes, wandering back to his side, looking at the desk.

“We can buy him the $1,200 one when he’s older,” Beth says, and Rio turns to look at her, an eyebrow raised, his lips lightly parting. “It can be a highschool graduation present.”

She wrinkles up her nose.

“College graduation,” she corrects, and Rio snorts on a laugh, slinging an arm easily over her shoulder, pulling her into his side.

“How quick this thing gonna be covered in marker?”

And Beth laughs at that too, her shoulder shaking where it’s pressed against his chest, her nose wrinkling again as she looks down at the currently pristine desk.

“I’m surprised it’s lasted this long,” she jokingly laments, and Rio hums, leaning down to kiss her.

As for the ‘I love you’s’, wait for a future part ;-)

#beth x rio #the center and circumference #my fic #nbc good girls #domesticity #beth boland #rio

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franeridart · 6 years

Note

Jack says "ignored YOUR rule". Does that mean it's something Bakugou obligates himself not to have or something non of them can have? I'm actually curious 🤔

It’s actually a rule Bakugou put down for himself for a number of reasons, half related to his own safety and the safety of the person he’s dating, the other half to the fact that Bakugou hates lying, but (again for safety reasons) he can’t just go around telling everyone what he’s doing - he doesn’t want a relationship in which he’d just contantly lie to his partner and ditch them for vigilante work without being able to explain them what’s going on, so he put down the rule as soon as he decided he wanted to do this. Well, he hadn’t been interested in relationships anyway before Kirishima, so it was an easy decision to take at the time - now though...

Ahhhh if only he figured out Kiri and Red are the same person smh that’d make everything so much easier on him

Anon said:When you draw Jiro and Bakugo having platonic hugs and cuddles my bi heart becomes incredibly soft THANK YOUUUUUUU

I’M HAPPY TO HEAR THAT cause honestly that’s as self-indulgent as I go hahaha

Anon said:The vigilante au is so far sad but I could totally see it going in a miraculous ladybug kinda direction. What if they tried putting distance between themselves and suddenly found that they're falling again, for the vigilante forms this time because "oh sh*t he's cute in every way Kirishima is" and "He's just my type too, Bakugou-- *sigh* I could use some moving on from him." Or only Kirishima moves to vigilante!Baku but he remains stuck on kiri..//Or what if like, vigilante! Kiribaku are about to get caught by a hero and Kirishima opens up about his last regret of not getting to see his crush one last time after they set distance between themselves, while Bakugou listens and...

That’s!!!! a lot of ideas you got there hahaha I’m glad you’re having fun with the concept!!!!!!

Anon said:That vigilante au is amazing. You really express emotions well in comics.

AAAAAHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH that!!!! honestly means the world to me *sob*

Anon said:I just want to say you're really cool and I like you art uh- K bye

Thank!!!!!!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Oh damn. I think i fall in love for your Vigilantes AU. Please don't stop. I really love it❤️

I mean, as long as you guys are okay with it being a bit all over the place and also being just pencil doodles, then I got no problems doing that right now haha thank you for liking it!!

Anon said:I love your vigilantes AU so much 😍😍😍😍

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:LET THEM BE HAPPY !!!!

THAT’S THE PLAN!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:May I ask how you draw bakugous hair so well?? I just can’t seem to get the right amount of poof (or should I say BOOM💥 )

oHO I’m glad you like it cause actually the answer is I spent two years drawing it nearly daily and I finally sorta reached a place when I guess I’m okay with how I draw it lol some time ago I drew a step by step for it? but by now my process is mostly “do whatever and hope for the best”, which incidently is also my process in drawing Kirishima’s hair lmao

Anon said:Im a bit confused with the vigilante kiri, does he have black hair in his civilian form and red in his hero form?

YEH it’s one of the reasons why Bakugou still hasn’t figured out Red is Kiri haha thought if you’re asking for the logistics of that, I can’t say I spent too long thinking about it? We can always call it temporary hair dye spry or something like that, but to be fair it’s not like it matters all that much lmao I just needed Baku to be unable to tell it was him easily haha

Anon said:I love ur gem Au! :D are you gonna make more? Its okay if not :)

As I’ve said literally every single time I’ve answered asks since I posted it, MAYBE yes! The thing about that AU is that I love it and I have fun with it, but posting it ended up being the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, so honestly I don’t know when I’m gonna draw it if I’ll draw it, but the possibility is there

Anon said:Hello! I just wanted to say I have love reading your comics and your art is amazing-- but I especially love your vigilantes AU! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!!

HECK thank you!!!! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it ;O;

Anon said:Why must you hurt us? I started crying at that vigilante au comic..

*passes u a blanket* I’ll try not to make it as sad in the future!

Anon said:Hi! I've purchased the take my hand book about a month ago, just wondering how long it takes for it to be delivered??? BTW I live in NZ so I understand if it takes a while~

Heck sorry anon but I’m so not good with dates, you should check the @takemyhandzine blog for that sorta stuff! Thank you so much for buying it tho!!!! ;O;

Anon said:Is Nico a cinnamon roll or a sinnamon roll?

That......... depends a lot on who you ask :0

Anon said:I love bnha more and more with every new character out. All that's left is to ask, which minor character is currently your favorite? (***That isn't from UA because that is a much bigger dilemma)

oUCH it would have been easier picking from UA actually since I’m pretty sure Amajiki is it hahaha well, if I can’t pick from UA...................... you know what, probably Shishikura

Anon said:Bakujiro friendship is something I didn’t know I NEEDED. U do good work bro

I’M SO GLAD YOU CAN GET BEHIND THAT!!!!!

Anon said:Your art gives me life!!! Every time you post is just so unique in every way :00000 ❤️ anyway i just wanted to let you know that you’re inspiring in every way and that I absolutely adore your kiribaku art to the moon and back!!!

SOB thank you so much???? You’re so sweet!!!! ;O;

Anon said:FRAN!!! YOUR LATEST KIRIBAKU ART KILLED ME (in a good way) HONESTLY YOU IMPROVED SO MUCH SINCE I FIRST STARTED FOLLOWING YOU, IT MOTIVATES ME TO KEEP DRAWING!! THANK YOU

HELL ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH I’M SO GLAD MY FUMBLING AROUND IN THE ART WORLD IS INSPIRING FOR YOU ???? LET’S BOTH KEEP DOING OUR BEST!!!!!

Anon said:fran you could convince me to ship anything with one (1) drawing

Since I got this ask I’ve been trying to find the most outrageous ship just to draw it and test this theory.......... I still haven’t found something outrageous enough but.... soon

Anon said:Hi your art is amazing also beautiful As you probably might know there is a traitor in the show, if you didn't know well then im sorry for spoiling. May I request a traitor kirishima

nnnnnnnggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry anon but the traitor theory arts are stuff I just can’t get behind, mostly so if it’s my fav characters - I don’t find it credible and I don’t find any joy in dwelling in the idea, so I got zero motivation to draw for it orz

Anon said:I can't believe you made me read the phrase "startle and explosion out of baku". (Yay for the vigilantes AU!)

LMAO he’s actually trying to do just that tho, maybe I’ll draw it hahaha

Anon said:Please! I need more BakuKiriKami fan art! I’m gunna die without it!

Anon I’m gonna be very real with you here my first reaction to reading this ask was thinking “then perish”

Anon said:Hello! I don't know if you've gotten this question before but have you ever considered drawing the villains?

I’ve drawn Dabi and Twice in the past! I’m not really much intereste in any other villain atm tho so I doubt I’m gonna be drawing them any time soon ^^’’

Anon said:You are by far my favorite artist. Your Kiribaku gives life to my bleak exsistence. Thank you. I bought some of your things of redbubble to make me happy!

AHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! I'm a big fan of your work and your kiribaku fluff especially, and I've been working on a (not so innocent) fic about Bakugou having burnt marshmallow smelling and tasting sweat, (funny how nitroglycerin is a natural lubricant, tastes and smells like burnt sugar, and is explosive) just wanted to know if you ever thought about it? also wanted to know if you'd like to read my finished fic, should be done real soon and it would mean a lot to know what you think about it!

Anon I’m so sorry but I really can’t say yes to this - especially because you said it means a lot to you, you’re putting me in a spot here where in case I didn’t like it I wouldn’t be able to tell you so anyway (and I generally don’t like talking about fancontent I don’t give a 10/10 to anyway, it’s too rude for me) and I’m sure it’s gonna be a great fic! But by the way you talked about it it’s gonna be a nsfw fic and I really rarely like those fics, so !!! orz I’m sorry, but this is a really uncomfortable request for me ;;;

Anon said:Can I use your art real quick if I hard out credit u? It's alright if I can't

Nope, sorry

Anon said:Could you draw another doodle of Setsuna?. I love how you draw her jfvdkd ;;v;; (Sorry if my English is trash.)

Not right now, but in the future yeah sure, I love her!

Anon said:Your Kirishima is so beautiful i fucking cry omg ;-; thank you for brightening my morning.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; thank you for liking how I draw him !!!!

Anon said:💛💛💛💛 Thank you for sharing your art, it always makes my day

Thank YOU for liking it!!!!!

Anon said:In your SU AU what if a gem offers to replace Kiri with a 'newer, better pearl'? How would Bakugo react?

Actually, Kiri was given to Bakugou specifically because he’s sorta defective, it was punishment for both of them that sorta backfired lmao

Anon said:hi there! I'm new to your blog and I love your art style immensely! I saw somewhere with your latest seroroki post that you're still finding your main todoship; I hope I dont sound rude or pushy, but can I ask your opinions about todo*aku and/or tod*kir*baku? If not, thank you for your time! Keep up the great work!!

Still not completely sold on romantic tdbk tbh (platonic tho, that’s my jam) but I’ve been real into the ot3 lately!!! It just can’t be my main todo ship bc I still prefer krbk too much over it haha

Anon said:I loveeee your art, especially your kiribaku stuff! But consider! Size difference! What if Kirishima grows a lot but our lil' Baku doesn't? Does he get jealous or does he really like it? There'd be some epic hugs/kisses! What if he secretly loves getting picked up by Kirishima? XD

Oh that’s an hc I see around a lot! Personally I stil prefer them sorta the same size tho ???? with the only difference being Baku being lithe and Kiri being a tank, I think it has to do with the whole “complementary equals” theme they have going on, I like for it to be visually represented too ??? maybe, I had never really thought about the hows or whys of this preference tbh lmao

Anon said:Hey so I'm not up to date with BNHA but in your asks there was a thing about dragon boy having a zombie costume? I had another look at what I think is the right doodle and to me it looks like a Chinese vampire costume! (unless that's not the one you guys were talking about oops)

Nope that’s him, and you’re right!!! Either way my boy still hasn’t done anything worth of note, so I still don’t know why he’s dressed like that orz Hori plssss

#fran answers #i have a couple asks in my inbox i have willingly left there to be answered when i have more time #so if your ask isnt in here chances are that's why #PLS bear with me!#one of them specifically is asking for a reference sheet #gimme time i'll get to it i swear!!!!#anonymous

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mariequitecontrarie · 6 years

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Meet Me in the Courtyard: Part 7

Summary: Belle and Gold realize they’ve been assigned to the same hotel room in New York City. Oh no. What now? ;) The Fic: Belle hosts a monthly movie night in Storybrooke, always leaving the seat next to her empty. Gold loathes movies, yet movie night at the library is the one community event even he can’t seem to resist. Rating: T A/N: For the February @a-monthly-rumbelling prompt: Surprise date, stockings and lace, babysitter canceled. I wanted to do the smut this chap, but it didn’t happen. Written for @magnoliatattoo. Love you, girl!

{On AO3} Previous parts: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

Did I miss an appointment?

Had he actually said those words? Perhaps an alien had swooped in and taken temporary possession of his brain. Gold smoothed damp strands of hair over his ears to cover their burning tips. He didn’t want Belle to see him blush, not after the entrance he made.

There had already been more than enough embarrassment for one evening.

After hearing the sound of movement in the room, he swaggered out of the bathroom like some sort of overconfident beast, droplets of water still dotting his body, wearing only a thin bath towel.

All it took was one glimpse of the pale, pinched look on Belle’s face to send him scurrying back to the bathroom to don one of the plush white robes the hotel had provided. The color drained from her cheeks and her eyes dropped to the carpet, her lips pursed into a tight little line.

It was an expression no man should have to see on the face of the woman he’d fallen in love with.

“You’re in New York,” he said softly.

“Librarians conference,” she confirmed, still staring at the floor. “You?”

“Same. But Pawnbrokers Association.”

“Oh.”

Following that brief, stilted conversation, he returned to the bathroom yet again to put his pajamas on beneath the robe.

He eyed himself under the garish flourescent lights of the hotel bathroom and cringed. He looked older and pastier than usual, and the wet strings of hair hanging around his face reminding him of a drowned rat. The idea of facing Belle again made his palms sweat, but there was nothing to be done except go back out there and find a solution to their problem. The last thing he wanted was for Belle to think he was angry with her. Who knew they would both be in New York at the same hotel, each for a work event? It was an outcome no one could have predicted, like the spike in reality television shows, or the popularity of men wearing skin-tight trousers without socks.

Earlier this afternoon at the diner, Belle had murmured something about a suitcase and a trip, but he didn’t have the time or the presence of mind to ask her where she was going, or to volunteer his own plans to attend the Annual Pawnbrokers Conference over the next three days.

He creeped out of the bathroom and peered around the corner.

Belle was seated on the loveseat facing the window, her back ramrod straight as she stared out at Times Square. The lights from the skyscrapers wreathed her curls in an ethereal glow, and though her back was turned, he could feel her twisting her fingers together in her lap. The silence was tense and uncomfortable.

It was hard to believe that hours ago, she had been attacking his hamburger and fries with a voracious appetite, and he had almost kissed the blob of ketchup off her adorable face in front of one hundred pairs of curious eyes.

Even Ms. Lucas had been kind to him in the diner, smiling when he paid his bill and thanking him for coming in. Belle’s reaction to seeing him was another matter entirely. She was fidgety, edgy, and refused to meet his eyes. Anxiety twisted his gut.

He was nothing much to look at, he knew. He fingered the lapel of his robe and glanced longingly toward his bag of suits hanging in the closet. Imported Italian silk always made him feel more attractive.

He looked far better in a suit than he did out of one, a truth his father had pounded this truth into him from a young age. “Clothes make the man, Branny,” Malcolm Gold used to say. “Without fine clothes, no one will respect you.”

Gold had inherited his father’s taste for the finer things, but unlike his father, he funded his expensive habits himself.

He tightened the sash on the robe tighter with a grim smile.

Typical of his lousy track record with with relationships. Well, then. He would take his frustrations out on the hotel staff.

With his mouth twisted into a snarl, he dialed the phone and barked orders at the poor unfortunate soul who answered. “Manager. Now.” Someone would be held accountable for this mix-up with the rooms, of that he was certain.

After ten minutes of growling and making threats, he was getting nowhere.

“As I told you before, sir, the system shows Mrs. Gold cancelled her room yesterday,” the manager explained in a bored tone. “Your wife is registered to your room in our system and that’s why we followed standard check-in procedures and gave her a key. I’m sorry, sir, we don’t have another room for your wife.”

“Perhaps the system is wrong,” Gold said, grinding his teeth.

“The system is never wrong, sir.” The manager sounded appalled by the suggestion. “Mrs. Gold’s room was cancelled.”

“You mean Miss French’s room.” Gold’s head was beginning to pound. “Did Miss French cancel the room or did Mrs. Gold?”

“What would please you, sir?”

“None of this pleases me, damn you!” He reached for his cane and squeezed the handle, pretending it was the throat of the halfwit on the other end of the line.

“Profound apologies, sir,” the bored voice replied.

“There are over 1800 rooms in this hotel,” he snapped, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Surely there’s another room available. A suite?”

“No, sir.”

“The honeymoon suite! Yes, Miss French can move her things in there and I’ll…”

“I’m sorry, sir.” The manager cut him off. “We don’t have another room for your wife here. Perhaps we can ease you with some complimentary champagne? A wheel of brie?”

There was that word again—wife. “I don’t want apologies or cheese. Bloody hell, I want results.”

“Yes, sir, but with the number of conferences being hosted here, the hotel is full. We have no other rooms available for Mrs. Gold.”

Gold pinched the bridge of his nose again. He didn’t want to hear another syllable about the room across town or hear them utter the name Mrs. Gold again. He wanted a room across the hall or next door for Miss French, plain and simple.

“There is no Mrs. …” Belle’s head came up sharply, and Gold dropped his voice to a dangerously low tone. “You had better make this stay worth our while, or I’ll see to it that neither the Art Libraries Society nor the Pawnbrokers Association ever do business with this establishment again.”

There was a lengthy pause, the rapid tapping of keys, and frantic whispers.

“What can I for you and your wife, sir?” The same manager was back on the line, talking as though they hadn’t been talking in circles for the past twenty minutes.

“I have no wife! There is no Mrs. Gold!” He snarled an obscenity, then slammed the receiver back in the cradle.

Through her hazy vision and the buzzing in her ears, Belle could vaguely hear the sound of Gold’s voice ranting in the background.

Is this what it felt like to go into shock?

This afternoon Belle had taken his food, and moments ago she had tried to steal his hotel room. It wasn’t the best way to turn the man she was quasi-dating into her boyfriend.

At least he wasn’t angry with her. Yet.

He’d smiled and greeted her like it was the most natural thing in the world for her to be snooping around his room. He padded out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel from the waist down, his lean chest wet from the shower and his hair hanging in damp waves around his shoulders. She’d wanted to comb her finger through the those silky brown strands and never stop. Even from six feet away he smelled incredible, like citrus and heather.

Seeing him practically naked with a huge, comfortable bed as a backdrop was one of her wildest fantasies come to life. Her mouth went dry, her knees weak, and she sank into the couch while her brain shut down. By the time she collected herself, he was on the telephone growling in a way that shouldn’t be sexy, and who was he yelling at, anyway? Belle shook her head, her thoughts scattered like dry leaves in an autumn breeze.

Should she leave? Head downstairs to the reception desk herself to straighten out this mess? She looked toward the door, not certain she could walk out of the room without falling over. Thinking better of making an idiot of herself three times in one day, she fumbled through her handbag in search of her phone. Thank God she’d made up with Ruby. Leroy was a darling, but she couldn’t explain any of this to him. But Ruby? She would know what to do.

Belle: You there?

Ruby: Halfway through my third apple pie martini. $5 tonight at the Rabbit Hole. You in NYC yet?

Belle: I’m dying. Not literally, but yeah. Gold and I are at the same hotel in the city. In the same room.

Ruby: Wow!

Belle: So what do I do?

Ruby: I’ll skip over the obvious and go straight to the advice: Jump him.

Belle: ???!!!

Ruby: I mean it. Go for it. You want him. He wants you. This is like a repeat of Granny’s at lunchtime, only you’re alone now so it won’t shock anyone when you start tearing each other’s clothes off and throwing them at the windows.

Belle: He was naked when I got here.

Ruby: Even better.

Belle waited, seeing the little bubbles indicating Ruby was still typing.

Ruby: For you. Not for me.

Belle: Haha. Funny. Yesterday you hated him. Now you want me to go to bed with him. There’s no halfway with you, is there?

Ruby: Nope. What’s the point of dancing around the obvious? The two of you are perfect together. Now go make out and other stuff. I want details later.

“I have no wife! There is no Mrs. Gold!”

Belle dropped her phone to the carpet with a thud at the sound of Gold’s bellow, then scrambled to drop it back in her bag. Ruby had been no help anyway. She stood up and smoothed her clammy hands down the front of her skirt. “What happened?” she asked.

“I’m not sure.” Gold combed through his hair with his fingers. It was almost dry now, tousled in soft waves. Belle stared at him in disbelief, waiting for more. The tick in his jaw seemed to speak to her, revealing that he knew more than he was letting on.

“You were on the phone for quite a while.” Laughter burst out of her in a nervous squeak. “Things like this don’t just happen. This is a massive hotel in the middle of Times Square.”

“Indeed.” He sat on the edge of the bed. “Maybe that’s precisely how it happened and why. According to the twit of a manager I spoke to, you cancelled your reservation yesterday.”

“What?”

“You’re now registered to my room, under my reservation.”

“What?”

“You already said that.” He rubbed his fingers together, his smile patient. “Some women work under professional names and are married under a different name. Clearly they assumed…”

“They can do that?” She wrung her hands.

“Apparently.” He laced his fingers together behind his head and sighed, the motion parting his robe about the waist to reveal a v-shaped patch of skin. The top three buttons of his pajamas were undone. Her fingers itched to touch his lean, golden muscles, to discover if they were as soft as they looked.

Keep your hands to yourself, Belle. He didn’t want her here; she was in the way. His harsh words on the telephone told her as much. It wasn’t like she expected him to marry her tomorrow, or ever, but they were sort of dating, weren’t they? At the very least they were friends. His anger at the hotel’s assumption that they were married stung like a slap.

“Are you done in the bathroom?” she asked in a small voice.

“I am.” He lifted an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because I’m going to go in there and die now.”

“Belle, please. Don’t—”

“You’re right; I should leave,” she amended in rush before she had to listen to him ask her to go. “Did they say…is there another room I can move to?”

“There is.” He winced. “Downtown at a partner hotel. It’s in Tribeca.”

“Fine.” Relieved she had a place to go, yet crushed he didn’t want her to stay, she retrieved her shoes from under the desk, then gathered her suitcase and shuffled toward the door.

“Belle, stop. It’s late.”

She paused halfway to the door, but didn’t turn around. “All the more reason for me to be on my way.”

At her back, she felt the warm weight of his hands on her shoulders.

“Please, let’s think this through,” he said, squeezing her shoulders slightly. His breath tickled the back of her neck. She stiffened, bothered by the effect of his hands on her body, and he stepped away. “We’re both here in a professional capacity and there’s no reason we can’t share the room.”

She didn’t reply and he furrowed his brow. “You’re not here for a conference?”

“No, I am.”

“Then you need to stay. You can’t be running to and from downtown to midtown over and over for what, two days?”

She shrugged. “Three, actually, but—”

A knock at the door cut her short. Gold moved around her to answer it, and a young man with nondescript features wheeled a cart into the room. Gold tipped him with a crisp $20 bill and sent him away.

“I’m sorry for the interruption. You were saying?” Gold whisked the cover off a platter of cheeses, crackers and fruit. A bottle of champagne was nestled on ice inside a sterling silver bucket. Belle’s stomach rumbled.

“Nothing.” She extended the handle on her suitcase and started wheeling it toward the door again. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I’ll let you get back to your room service.”

“It’s not for me, my dear. It’s for you.” Smiling, he skimmed a stiff sheet of cream stationery, then handed it to her. It was a note from the evening manager addressed to Mrs. French-Gold, expressing the entire management team’s deepest apologies for the inconvenience.

“Groveling, as well they should.” Gold’s nod was sharp. “Mrs. French-Gold indeed. I told them we are furious at this misunderstanding and have considered never working with this hotel again.”

Her mouth formed an ‘O’ of surprise, but no sound came out. She wondered if he was more angry about being forced into this situation or at being forced to claim her as his wife. Her shoes began to pinch her toes.

“At least stay and have a drink with me,” he continued, grabbing the handle of her suitcase before she could protest. He placed it in the far corner of the room and threw her a lopsided grin, his eyes sparkling with a hint of mischief. “Then, if you really want to go, I’ll call a taxi and escort you to the other hotel myself.”

She glanced at the elegant cart laden with wedges of brie and roquefort, nuts, dried apricots, grapes and apples. It did look delicious and she was hungry. There was no way Mayor Mills would approve an extravagance like this on her own hotel bill, and she couldn’t afford decadent five-star room service on a small-town librarian’s salary. “You would do that for me?” she asked, unable to keep the irony from her tone.

“Of course I would, Belle.” Hurt flashed on his face.

Her confusion mounted when the inviting gleam in his warm brown eyes turned flat and dull, making her regret her words. He said he wanted her to stay, and despite his rough, angry tone on the telephone, she wanted to be here with him. She bit her lip, considering. As he said, she didn’t have to spend the whole night. How much harm could one drink do?

“I see you’ve come to a decision. Good.” The endearing, lopsided smile that tied her stomach into knots was back. He handed her a champagne flute filled with a bubbling, rose-colored liquid, his warm fingertips brushing hers. “Let’s think of this evening’s events in pleasant terms…more of a surprise date?”

She looked down at her feet in surprise to find she’d already kicked off her pumps.

“All right,” she said, raising the cool crystal to her lips. “I’ll stay.”

Convincing Belle to stay had been harder than he expected, but after her first glass of champagne she seemed to forget all about going to the other hotel. Now she was seated in the middle of the huge bed, legs tucked under her, popping chunks of blue cheese into her mouth and chasing them with gulps of champagne.

A bit of cheese caught on her lip and she frowned, darting after it with the tip of her tongue. Gold settled against the leather desk chair and enjoyed the view. It was better for them both if he kept his distance. Since she’d arrived, he hadn’t been able to stop imagining laying her out on the bed. He would peel away her clothes to reveal her sheer black stockings and white lace panties, then kiss his way up and down her body, bringing her pleasure until she begged him to stop.

He was painfully hard from playing his fantasy reel, but common sense prevailed. It was close to midnight and they both had early mornings. He dragged himself toward the bed and lifted one of the pillows she wasn’t leaning against. “I’ll take the couch.”

“No!” Her eyes widened. “Oh my gosh, look at the time! You don’t want me here all night.”

Gold tamped down a groan of frustration. She had no idea. But hadn’t he practically tripped over himself begging her to stay? “Whatever gave you that idea?”

“You did.” She pouted, her sweet mouth forming a delicate moue he always found annoying on other women, but on Belle…good God, Belle.

“I may be clumsy and awkward and kinda tipsy but I’m not deaf.” She rose up on her knees and jabbed her finger at his chest. “I heard what you said on the phone. When they thought I was your…we were married…you acted like you’d been accused of murder.”

“Belle, no.” He whisked away her empty glass and took her hands. “You have it all wrong. This is just a huge misunderstanding.”

“So you’ve said.” She hiccupped. “I hope you realize I didn’t do this on purpose. Set you up to be in the same room with me.”

“I know that, sweetheart,” he soothed, rubbing her palms with his thumbs.

“And you’re not the one who completely mortified yourself in front of everyone in Storybrooke and Manhattan.” She chewed her lower lip, deepening the color of the flesh to ruby. “I may not have had sex in three years, but I wouldn’t trap you into spending the night with me.” Still kneeling on the bed, she removed her hands from his and put them on her hips. “I have self-respect.”

“Oh, come now, Mrs. Gold,” he teased. “It’s not as dramatic as all that, is it?”

A smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. “You really know how to make a girl feel better, don’t you?”

“Well, interpersonal relationships are my speciality.” He started to laugh, but the sound died on his tongue. “But what if I want to?”

“Wanna what?” She pinned him to the spot with those inquisitive blue eyes.

Gold hesitated; he could change the subject. They were both tipsy enough for him to laugh it off, but the words were out there and he didn’t want to take them back. The bottle of champagne they’d consumed together had loosened his inhibitions and he was tired. Tired of holding out, guarding his heart, pretending he didn’t care.

Since he first started spying on her during the movie nights three months ago, all he wanted was to be with Belle French. Now she was here in his hotel room. He would be a complete fool to send her away.

“Spend the night here.” He cleared his throat. “With you.”

She smoothed her hand across the comforter, then met his gaze. “You mean in the same bed?”

“Yes,” he said, surprised by the huskiness in his voice. “I don’t mind if we sleep in the same bed. Do you?”

###

#rumbelle #rumbelle fic #a monthly rumbelling #mr. gold x belle french #bedsharing is coming #ruby lucas #meet me in the courtyard #mqc writes

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ineedsomethingbutidontknowwhat · 5 years

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what the fuck.what the actual FUCKING Fuck. i copied a folder from a flash drive to my old ass stupid ass computer, and then deleted the one on the f drive. and now??????????? its just DUFKCING gone. WHAT THE HELL. i had my art projects, wips, and every single damn piece of art ive made since january of 2018. all of it. Fucking all of it. And now this RETARDED laptop wont even let me same my damn art? not enough disk space my fucking ASS ive deleted spotify, my games, and i have TWO files in my downloads, moved ALL my pictures. WHAT THE HELL? Ive deleted the temporary files, checked and rechecked then emptied my recycle bin. im about to blow a fuse. then tomorrow i have the goddamn math midterm WHICH, mind you, i know JACK SHIT about and dont get half the bull on the practice packet. then i have to rehearse my four momoluges for theatre and auditions. theres a crying baby in the next rom because my borther and his family have no where to og so theyre in outr house, my neohew is a brat and is srprised when i ACTUALLY play with him for once, i get pissed when he gets bratty and quits games becuase i happened to win one match out of the five we’ve done. my mom.........my sister gts on my damn nerveds, everyones like ‘oh, SHE’S a teenager, ugh teenagers, oh haha TEENAGERS go suck my FUCKING DICK, EAT A BAG OF DICKS. I DONT GIVE A SHIT. MY FACE AND MY HAIR LOOK LIKE SHITE STAINS, MY ROOM’S A MESS, MY BED IS UNMADE, YESTERDAY WAS THE FIRST TIME I ACTUALLY HAD TIME TO SHOWER IN LIKE FOUR DAYS. I DIDNT GO TO PRACTICE THURSDAYBC I WENT TO GO SEE CAPTAIN MARVEL. IT WAS AMAZING, BUT I NEED TO BE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND MANAGE MY TIME. everything’s damn mess. and on TOP of that shit im struggling again with dysphoria. im considering being nonbinary, or gender neutral. im still michael, but i dont even know what i am, what i want o be. how the fuck is that even possible?im definetly not a girl, but am i boy? inbetween? i dont know. today was the one day i found myself time to digital draw. and my computer refuses to save anything. im upside down but no one tried to straighten me up, instead they mock my upside-downness and try to later say how much they love me. miss me with that shit, go eat a dick. can i rest? can i fucking rest? can i just lay down? is ANYONE out there? is ANYBODY OUT THERE TO PUT MY FEET BACK ON THE GROUND? or am i going to swing here, hanging from my ankles, until i figure something out myself? my priorities and my fears WONT come first because im just ‘a teenager’. im just there to help everyone out. i take care of the kids. i set the table. i go out to help. i’m irresponsible and a cheat. get a load of me. the faggot of the family. the bastard of the bunch. the cunt of the crowd. and every sound, every boom, everything makes me jump. i flinch at a pencil falling. im on edge all the time. youtube and tumblr distract me but for how long? how long until i fall off that edge

#someone get me off this ride

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darlingsteps · 5 years

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Things to do with kids in any part of the world

Things to do with your kids in any part of the world: USA, Europe & Beyond

No matter where you are in the world, you don’t need a lot of money or extravagant things to make children happy and have fun. I’m a pure example of this. Here are some ideas to get your juices flowing:

Build a tent

Seriously, who buys those pop-up store tents anymore? (I’m not judging, I used to own them lol) When you have a small living space or live out of a suitcase like us, you have the luxury of having All. The. Things. amiright?

So, trust me, kids will much rather build their own tent with extra bedsheets, pillowcases, fabrics and chairs of all sorts.

Have bunk beds? Ohhh those are the best and bring back so many memories! #hello

Make cookies

(at least in my household) kids want IN on whatever you’re doing. Haha, My youngest child will harass my life to ‘help cook’ until I say yes. Obviously, I should be sterner and not give in (what the heck am I teaching her by giving in right? I know. moving on) but in this case, I adore the cuteness of a teeny tiny human with a cupcake for a face, trouting along to beg me to cook. How can I resist? So I now schedule time for the girls to cook. And what’s more fun than mixing, tasting and squishing!

Arts and crafts

This is my inner creative alter ego wanting to pry itself out. I LOVE arts and crafts (don’t be fooled, I’m by no means crafty or good haha) I enjoy it, and I promise if you let go of perfectionism you will too. Honestly, you don’t even need ‘a plan.’ Go to your craft store, i.e., any dollar store, and stock up on anything even remotely crafty, even if you think you won’t use it. Head straight to the stationary section, then head to the home/garden isle, after the tool and auto isle (you need something reasonable to hold all this crap, food aisle (for cheap dry goods. think beans, rice, and oats) and finally the kitchen isle for plastic cups, foil, etc. and those paper plates you’ll need for those maracas.

Make playdough

Why on Gods green earth is playdough SO DAMN EXPENSIVE???!!! Okay, I’m sorry for yelling. #Imdone. I’ve never purchased playdough for the girls because we afford it and when we could, why the heck would I pay that much anyway? And for the bargain shopper mamas reading this before you go on to tell me I can buy them in bulk, on sale, from said dollar store…I wrote above- here are my thoughts: my kids must be one a kind because these boogers go on to ‘make’ me food creations of all types and mix the playdough in all kinds of ways to make colors I didn’t even know existed. (and I’ve tried those cheaper ones and my goodness- NO THANKS) Kids enjoy cooking (see note above) and making messes, it’s a win-win. Plus it’s super easy, all types of recipes available online. So no excuses. (and no it doesn’t take that long. #aintnobodygottimeforthat

Have a Treasure Hunt

This is sooo fun. Honestly, it doesn’t need to be, and it gives you time to just sit down. Ah. You can hide anything from candy, new pencils, notes, etc. (Think the birthday section at a said dollar store) Play dress up we only have girls, and it goes without saying that they enjoy dressing up. (see toy section of any dollar store. do you see a pattern here lol) But I can only guess that boys would enjoy dressing up as well as it is a great pretend/imaginative play. Make pizza Let me start off by saying that if you don’t like pizza, I don’t know we can be friends. Ok just kidding maybe lol I don’t think I’ve ever met a kid but doesn’t like pizza and this is indeed such a versatile and cheap thing to make that there isn’t any excuse for you not to make it and it’s a lot of fun. I grew up pretty poor, and pizza for us consisted of a slice of white wonder bread cheap no-frills pasta sauce and a slice of what was supposed to be cheese. Then we popped it in the oven for a few minutes watching it until the cheese got ever so slightly burned and dug in. Do everyone in your family a favor and make the dough from scratch is pretty simple or you can just buy it one from the store it’s still a lot of fun!

Fly a kite (create a kite)

So self-explanatory and kids love it so go get one and get to your local park already if you don’t have a kite , crafts to the rescue! It is super easy to make, and they work!

Stargaze

This is one of my favorite pastimes, so I feel kind of selfish writing it but our kids loved it, and I think it’s because we are both from big cities in you don’t see stars are often and when you think it’s the one you realize that it’s just a helicopter. Enjoy the little things

Listen to books

Another guilty pleasure here but I’ve posted this love answer my children, and it’s always a good time. There are a few ways you can do this if you’re looking for free options the best way is to download the Overdrive or Libby app and entering your details and library card details, and you get to listen to audiobooks for free. If finances are no burden for you then audible is such an excellent option, and they have pretty much anything you could look for. Except The gruffalo…they don’t have that anymore because Julia Donaldson wants to do stick to print books…ok I digress. Haha. Another more affordable option is the Scribd app. it’s pretty amazing because you pay a small fee of about 5 to 8 books of month, and you get to listen to an unlimited amount books the downside is that you don’t keep it, so it’s kind of like a music subscription you get all the music you want while you’re paying subscriber otherwise you lose all your stuff.

Read books

Same advice as above^

Make a play

Piggybacking off of the dress up here….our girls could do this all day long. Like seriously. They have. They do.

Keep all and any extra boxes you can get your hands on… The bigger, the better. (Invest in a good x-acto knife) < you’ll need this for the never-ending requests to make doors, windows and “secret exits.”

Build a snowman

If you’re in a climate where it permits this, don’t let the beauty of snow pass by because it’s bitterly cold. Trust me. I understand the struggle. But at the end of the day, it doesn’t last and the memories will.

Park

Does this really need a caption?

Train or bus ride

So, it doesn’t matter if you’re in NYC, London, Paris, or your tiny small town that’s barely making Google maps…if there are buses or trains, use em. Kids love this stuff.

Free workshops

Don’t underestimate your local library. They always have fantastic free workshops going on where all the is required is a simple registration.

Farmers market

This is such a great way to immerse yourself where you are. If you’re traveling like us, this allows you to see and meet new people. Engage in the culture and get fresh produce, food, and knick-knacks.

Make musical instruments

Here I am with the craft stuff again! If you’re like us and travel like it’s your second job, then this is a good one. Music is good for the spirit, and you wouldn’t believe how easy it is to use common household things to make instruments out of.

Have a parade

When you’re done making said instruments^ Be super silly and have a parade! Storm and stomp around the house and have fun. (Be mindful of the hour of course if you live above anyone)

Bubble bath

I can’t quite remember, but there was a time/age where our girls didn’t always get along so well. And the only time where there was a sense of peace was when they were taking baths. Seriously, don’t underestimate the power of simple water, soap and “toys” (I wrote that in quotes because I despise bath toys and much prefer temporary toys like plastic water bottles, used up lemon juice containers, etc)

Birdwatch

Children do mimic what they see. Obviously, this can be a good and bad thing. In this case, it’s alright. Many times throughout the day you can find me lost in thought #heyfellowinfj and wait for it: bird or human watching

The girls love seeing birds up close and analyzing their attributes. Have your kiddos try this!

Make confetti

Kids love to make messes so let them! Grab any old magazines, newspapers, leaflets, flyers, and pieces of scrap paper you no longer need and cut them up. You can simply put them through the shredder (this adds to the fun, but obviously watch out for those little fingers and blades) or cut shapes snowflakes, etc. Then toss them in the air and roll around in it and have a confetti party!

Outdoor sport

One of the joys of many sports is that you can travel with said instruments. Any game that involves a ball can fit in your luggage once deflated. Cricket is super lightweight, and the ball is small. Frisbee is a fantastic choice. It can get tricky with tennis as rackets tend to be heavy and bulky. (But relatively cheap to purchase)

Sidewalk drawing

Chalk is typically cheap anywhere you go and works on almost any sidewalk/balcony! If you have a private area you’re using, bring out the hose, a bucket or a bowl of water to wash away the drawings and begin fresh the next day.

Garden

Nature freedom!

Go to a museum, café, library or bookstore.

To find free museums, type “free museum, city” into your browser of choice….Same with the others.

Fire station

This may differ wherever you go, but in the US, most firefighters are happy to speak to children when they drop by to have a look but do call first to verify! (To avoid disappointment) We’ve never had an issue, but you never know.

Sing & dance

So I almost felt a bit hypocritical writing this one because I loathe doing both in public. Yes, even in front of my own family haha! But, I assure you, if you’re the same way, take it slow and do it scared! You’ll be glad you did. The easiest thing to do is go to YouTube and find some kid dance channels (maybe search for kid choreography) and let the magic happen. We also use a Toca Boca dance app!

Learn a language

After a certain amount of time traveling (it’s been years for us) your kiddos will grow to love languages. Naturally, as humans, especially little humans, we love communicating. And there’s no better way than completely immersing yourself into another one’s culture: language and all.

I realize this specifies toddlers in the heading. However, these activities can be easily adapted and enjoyed by older children as well. My kiddos are in the 10 and under range (as an example.)

What do you do for family fun? Tell me below!

The post Things to do with kids in any part of the world appeared first on Darling Steps.

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ifeelyou-johanna · 7 years

Note

Girlfriend tag 1-80

1. Describe how you met each other. I was working for a magazine. A friend of mine asked me to write a preview for this theatre program she was directing and invited me to sit in on a rehearsal. Lo and behold, Hana walks in and I’m completely smitten. Afterward, we grab Korean BBQ and find out we actually matched on Tinder a couple of months earlier and just never messaged each other2. What did you first notice about each other? I don’t exactly know her answer, but I first noticed her presence (aura, if you want to use that word). She commanded the room through her contagious laugh and smile, her bouncing energy, her attention to the person with whom she was speaking to. Also her style was cute as fuck. ALSO she was the most beautiful and aesthetically pleasing person I’ve ever laid my eyes on3. Who first asked the other out? Hana sort of did through Tinder when she was standing right next to me haha but then I was like “no seriously, want to get dinner some time?”4. Where was your first date? At a restaurant near the theatre called Lunch & Supper. We then grabbed ice pops from my former work place and then I saw her performance. After that, we got tacos with her cast5. Who was first to verbally say “I love you”? I was6. How did your first kiss happen? Who initiated it? We were at an art museum, and since she knows ASL, I learned how to say “Can I kiss you” in ASL. Apparently, I learned it incorrectly, so she was confused at first, but then I did it again and she put the pieces together7. When is your anniversary? June 19, 20178. How long have you been together? 3 months9. What made you realize you were in love with her? I could write volumes about that. But for now, I’ll keep it short and sweet: Hana is the epitome of what a girlfriend, a partner, a friend, should be. She is supportive, caring, attentive, loving, affectionate, hilarious, tender, adventurous, and forgiving. She is everything I need in a girlfriend and so much more10. Where you friends before you became lovers? Not really actually haha we kind of just went in head first11. Were either of you out before getting with your girlfriend? Yes, both of us were12. Have either of you dated a girl before getting with your girlfriend or is she your first? I was the only one who had actually dated other women before we started dating. So technically I’m her first official girlfriend13. When is your girlfriend’s birthday? Who is older? March 1. I’m older by almost a year and a half14. Do you live together? No, we’re not at that point yet haha also we go to different colleges so that makes it tricky15. Have you met your girlfriend’s parents? If so, what was that like? I have! I spend so much time at her house that her parents are used to me being there. Meeting them was nerve-wracking for me. I really wanted to show them that I wasn’t just a temporary thing, and that I care very deeply for their daughter16. How many people are in your girlfriend’s family? She’s an only child, but her extended family isn’t too terribly large17. Whose family do you hang out with more? I think I went to her house more frequently this summer?...she’s met both of my siblings AND my parents, which is more than any partner I’ve had in the past18. What is a typical date night like for you and your girlfriend? The best part is that it is never the same. We don’t really have a “typical date night.” It can be anything from a night drive to getting Taco Bell at 1am to dressing up and going to dinner to going to a drag bar. However, we always end the night in bed together19. How do you usually spend your time together? We love adventures. Every day is a new and exciting adventure. We’re exploring, we’re discovering, we’re driving or walking or swimming. However, we also love to nap together. Often times she’ll nap and I’ll be laying next to her and just be while she sleeps. But I love that20. Have you ever been mistaken for sisters? No, since we have very different features (I have curly strawberry blonde hair, she has straight brown hair), but we’ve been mistaken for best friends many times21. Have you ever worn your girlfriend’s clothes? I’m currently wearing her shorts. I have quite a few of her clothes, and she does too22. Have you ever experienced any discrimination or prejudice because you are a same sex couple? There have been a couple of occasions where people have made comments, fetishizing our relationship. Additionally, we’ve had requests for threesomes and nudes and have been sent dick picks. But no one has been outrightly like “oh look at those two LESBIANS”23. Does anyone you know disapprove of your relationship? Not that I’m aware of24. How much PDA do you do? I would say a decent amount. If it’s not too hot and we feel good, we’re at least holding hands. But for the most part, we like physical contact and PDA25. Do you have any pet names for each other? A few. My love, my girl, my peach, sweetheart, babe26. Does your girlfriend have any pets? She has two dogs27. Who is more likely to cook a meal? I would only say me ?28. What is your girlfriend’s favorite food? Least favorite food? Apples. She loves apples. In terms of least favorite, I know she doesn’t like raw onions or tomatoes29. Who is more likely to cry for no reason? Ha probably me30. Have you ever been on your periods together? Oh yeah. We synced pretty quickly31. Can your girlfriend play any musical instruments? She used to play piano32. Who is your girlfriend’s favorite musical artist? I don’t think she has like a top favorite (edit: upon asking her, she actually doesn’t have one, so I’m right)

33. What is your girlfriend’s current favorite song? I’m not entirely sure about her top favorite, but I can name several that she loves!34. Do you have a couple song? Peach by The Front Bottoms, along with many more. But definitely Peach35. Do you have a couple name? No one has given us one yet!36. Who is more likely to forget where they put things? Honestly both of us are very prone to doing that hahaha37. Which side of the bed do you each sleep on? I usually sleep on the left side of the bed, so she’ll be on the right38. Does your girlfriend have a job? She used to work as a swim instructor, lifeguard, and kid zone/day care person39. What do you argue/fight about the most? I don’t know if there’s really something we always argue/fight about...probably something petty40. How do you usually get over a argument/fight? We talk it through. Feelings are addressed and then we try and work on a plan from that point on. We always end with I love yous and asking if we’re good41. Who is more likely to refuse sex? I’d say it’s pretty even, but we both really like having sex with each other, so it’s not really an issue haha42. What nationality is your girlfriend? American43. Does your girlfriend play any sports? Not as of right now44. Does your girlfriend root for any sports teams? I think New York since she has family from there ?45. Does your girlfriend have any quirky habits? I mean, don’t we all? I love all of her habits. It’s in the way she laughs or drives or sleeps46. What is one thing your girlfriend does that you don’t like? She picks at her zits and scars and such even though I tell her not to. It causes scarring!!47. Who is more likely to remember an important day (i.e. birthday, anniversary, etc.)? She has a good memory of like random things that I won’t really remember, but I think I might remember other types of things ? Idk48. What is your girlfriend’s eye color? Bluish green49. What is your girlfriend’s shoe size? She’s an 8 I think?50. What is your girlfriend’s dress size? Small, that’s all I know haha51. What is your girlfriend’s favorite TV show? I’m not entirely sure. She definitely has favorite YouTube shows/series52. What is your girlfriend’s favorite movie? She likes comedies, but I can’t recall a favorite as of right now53. Who hogs the covers more when sleeping together? We both do it tbh54. What is one item on your girlfriend’s bucket list? I’m not entirely sure. I think travel to certain countries is on there55. Who is your girlfriend’s #1 celebrity crush? FUCK I don’t know off the top of my head damn56. Is your girlfriend more likely to save or spend money? She definitely likes to save it, but she’ll occasionally treat herself or me :)57. Who squashes the bugs? If they’re in the shower, I’ll get them. But she likes them when they’re not in the shower with her58. Who is more likely to forget to turn the lights off? Me59. What is your girlfriend’s favorite color? Black60. What is your girlfriend’s middle name? Danielle61. Who is more likely to randomly burst out into a song? Both of us tbh. Probably her more so62 Who is more likely to randomly start dancing? Her, for sure63 Who usually pays when you go out to eat? Me hahaaaaa but that’s because I’m faster64. Have you ever taken a vacation together? If so, where to? We did! Blue Ridge Mountains and it was SO great65. How tall is your girlfriend? 5′5″ maybe? I know she’s taller than me66. What is your girlfriend’s number labeled as in your cell phone? Her name haha I have a cute picture as her contact name67. Is your girlfriend religious at all? She’s Jewish! Her family is Jewish, and she’s done BBYO in the past. She actually just wished me a happy Rosh Hashanah!68. Who is more likely to spontaneously be romantic? I think it’s equally split tbh69. Whose laugh is cuter? Hers70. Who is the better driver? She’s a pretty good driver, I’m pretty decent. I’m not sure if someone is better than the other tbh71. Who is the better singer? Hahaha she definitely loves singing in the car and in her room, but she likes listening to me72. Who is the better dancer? Her. Without hesitation or thought73. Who is better at math? We both hate math fuck haha74. Whose handwriting is better? Hers without a doubt75. Who is more likely to sign a card or a note from the both of you? I don’t think we’ve had to do it yet, but I definitely think we’d both do it76. Have you ever discussed marriage? Yes!!77. Have you ever discussed having children? We haven’t necessarily discussed the ones we want together, but we’ve talked about what we think about having kids as individuals78. What is one thing about your girlfriend you think most people don’t know? There’s definitely stuff I know that she doesn’t share very often with people, but this really isn’t the platform to share it. There’s a reason why she hasn’t told many people haha but on a less serious note, she has a condition where one of her thumbs is shorter than the other. She’ll gladly show you, but most people don’t know it until she shows them!79. Choose one word to describe your girlfriend. Why that word? Warmth. She is my ray of sunshine. She spreads warmth and light wherever she goes, no matter the mood she’s in. She brightens up my day and makes me feel like I can grow and flourish and blossom, just as the sun does for flowers and trees80. Pass on one piece of relationship advice. Communication. Hana and I have been pretty good at this, but from a personal standpoint, my biggest piece of advice is to communicate. People aren’t mindreaders. So if something is bothering you, say it. Along that same line, don’t keep things from each other. It will just fester and end up hurting more than helping. So that goes along the same line on communication.

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fortheloveofcringe · 7 years

Text

COMPILATION OF KASAMDAN

// H

PREFACE BY THE EDITOR IN CHIEF

The prime purpose of this folio is not to prompt you to sulk and cry all day long, its purpose is to introduce you to the process of healing, and in the process of healing, we need to be aware of our “wounds”, our “KASAMDAN”.

Kasamdan, is a waray word for a collective number of wounds. And we believe we all have this in common.

The inspiration of this work of art roots from the famous line of John Green’s novel about the beautiful art of losing saying, “Pain demands to be felt”.

In the progression of life, we will inevitably stumble upon rocks that would leave us with permanent marks, maybe not in our skin, but in our minds. I’m not saying to keep grudges by reading this folio, grudges are poison by the way. What we want from you, dear reader, is to remember the warning of the difficult times that you may be able to prepare for battles. I want you to stand up and never be afraid of getting wounded, because most wounds, are worth it. I want you to question things and never be complaisant. Be observant. Remember the kind of people who have tried to bring you down, so you may be able to have the courage to stay away from them, because, common sense speaks; they don’t deserve your precious energy and time. Don’t let them steal it.

Remember that this world is never easy; no one promised easy to us. Learn from these wounds, feel the pain while it lasts because this is the only way for us to see ourselves, truly experiencing this version of reality. Always ask HIM to give the proper judgement.

Be human enough that you may be able to feel for others. Empathize but respect yourself enough to feel this work of art. Maybe, in a certain extent, I want to remind you that your pain in life is not unique, so get up, YOU ARE NOT ALONE WITH YOUR BATTLES. Relate and be ready for your healing, your “PAGHILOM”.

(P.S. Secret lang ha, PAGHILOM is the title of the sequel Folio for Kasamdan. HAHA)

-H, a wounded survivor.

1.Punggod

Ako hi Punggod.

Ako hi punggod nga iyo gintamay-tamay.

Ako hi punggod nga diri niyo kilala.

Ako hi punggod nga pirmi niyo gin-mumulay.

Ako hi punggod nga nag tinuok kada gab-i

Ako punggod nga nag-make-up basi bisan guti la maasi

Ako hi punggod nga nawad-an hin gana ha buhay

Kay ini nga kalibutan, para daw la kuno hit maghusay.

Ako hi punggod nga waray gin buhat kun-di magtrinabaho

Ako hi punggod nga sigi la, bisan iyo la gin loloko.

Ako hi punggod nga nagpakadiboto ha “Artistry”

Kay amo nala it nahatag ha akon hin kakusog, bisan duro na kakuri

Ako hi punggod nga waray katurog para mag review

Ako hi punggod nga sige’t surat bisan tak kamot mayda na kalyo

Ako hi punggod nga adi la gehap, na bubuhi pa

Kay ako hi punggod, didi ha tuna, mawawara man, pero ma-ato pa.

2.Mga Sugat (ESSAY)

Mahirap mag-move on. Sa iba, feeling nila, pag nasabi nila sa’yo na “Hoy, magmove-on ka na nga!” eh biglaan nalang mawawala sa isip mo yung mga gabing umiyak ka, yung mga araw na tulala ka, at yung mga panahong nasaktan ka, dahil nag-hope ka na kahit minsan sa buhay mo, mararamdaman mo na man lang yung tunay na pag-ibig.

Nasaktan ako. Marami nang nakasakit sakin. Maraming nang pangyayari ang nakasugat sa isip at puso ko. Mawalan ng ilang kapatid, tatay, mawalan ng trabaho, mawalan pag-asa sa taong mahal, mawalan ng gana sa buhay. Bawat patak ng luha sa mga mata ko ay syang hudyat ng aking nalalapit na pagsuko. Pero pinilit ko parin mabuhay kahit alam kong naglalakad ang aking sugatang kaluluwa sa harap ng iba dala ang ngiting hindi nila alam na may isinisigaw na paghingi ng saklolo.

Dumating rin sa puntong kahit nagbabasa lang ako ay mayroon nang anxiety, dahil kahit napakaliit lamang na bagay ay iniiyakan ko na. Kahit anong nababasa ko, naririnig ko, o nakikita ko ay sadyang kumukurot sa isip at puso ko kapag naaalala ko ang mga taong at pangyayaring nagbigay sa akin ng mga sugat na ito. Hindi ko alam na magiging mahapdi pala ang sugat sa ating kaluluwa.

Masakit kasi isipin na may mga bagay talaga na kahit anong dasal at kahit anong puyat, pagod at effort, eh, di talaga mapapasa’tin. Yun kasi ang buhay. At kailangan nating itatak sa isip natin, na walang nag-promise sa atin, unang-una sa lahat, na magiging madali lang mabuhay, kaya let go of the expectations kung ayaw mong ma disappoint.

Sinabi ko na lamang sa sarili ko na huwag nang mag-isip masyado. Na hayaan ko na lamang na ang mga bagay-bagay ay mangyari. Total alam ko namang hindi ko makokontrol ang kahit ano dito sa mundo, bukod sa isip ko. Nagdasal na lamang ako ng taimtim sa Maykapal at sa ngayon, iba na ang dasal ko. Hindi na ako humingi ng kahit ano paman lalo na ang lovelife, hiningi ko nalang na sana’y bigyan niya pa ako ng lakas at panahon, para maghilom ang mga sugat at ako’y makalaban muli sa buhay.

Hindi man perpekto o plantsado, kahit araw araw ay mayroon paring pagsubok, natutunan ko na ngayong huminga ng maluwag. Nalaman ko na sa bawat sugat na nasa isip, puso at balat ko, na ako’y malakas pala, mas malakas pa sa aking inaakala. Nalaman ko na dapat pinipili ko ang aking mga laban at ako’y nararapat lang na magbigay ng atensyon sa mga bagay na makakapagpabuti sa aking buhay at pagkatao. Nalaman ko na ang pag-ibig ay dadating nalang nang kusa dahil lahat ng bagay na pinipilit ay nakakasakit lamang.

Magdasal ka sa Diyos na bigyan ka ng strength. Yun lang. Wag mo husgahan ang sarili mo. Hayaan mo ang mundo, at gumalaw ka ng naayon sa kagustuhan mo, dala ang kabutihan at pagkakuntento. Wag mong isipin na porket nasugatan ka ay hindi ka na makakalaban pang muli. Hayaan mong maramdaman mo ang sakit at hapdi, dahil ito ang magtuturo sa’yo ng mga mahahalagang bagay na dadalhin mo hanggang sa inyong pagtanda.

3. Songs About You

Dear Love, I’ve made a serene playlist

Made up of nostalgic tunes from the day we first kiss

The love we shared and the love we held so dear

Listen to these my love, now that the blue sky is clear

I stopped crying three moons and three suns ago

Because you’ve made me smile even if you’ve left me with sorrow

I remember the laughter, the coffee, and the anime’ talk

I remember the happy silence when went out for a walk

Dear Love, how’s your job? Are you okay and happy?

I wanted to make you sandwiches, and lemonade with honey

But now, the bed’s cold, I’m alone and you’re gone

I stare at the door, waiting for you to prove me wrong.

That love is temporary, and all things die dry

Even if the earth will be filled with stories, still the heavens cry

Try to remember how it feels to love so deep

I cry with this playlist at night, hoping to get some sleep

4. In the Place of You and Me

Pain like we painted pain

Wounded like we wanted wounds

Skies like the swollen eyes

Tears like we never knew what we fear

In the place of you and me

The stars scream of sad lies

Whispers to myself

Letters to your playful heart

Choices we make,

choices we break

Love in the faced the fake

Till the heart burnt at stake

Running and running

While truth starts hovering

Make me feel better

By making me feel worst

5. To Him

Broke some hearts, but you made up mine;

Eat your damn pride, my love and sunshine;

Needed you then, my summer valentine.

Cheat on hearts, and you’ll probably die;

Enjoy the breeze, my curly haired moon and sky;

Live my love, please live, live like you’ll never ever cry.

Remember your siblings, make an adoring family;

Even if you forget me, Always, here I’ll be;

You thought of me as nothing, but you’re still everything to me.

6. Fill in the Blanks

Crossword minds, talks of scrabble

Fainting broken heart, a running mouth that babbles

First date, first try, please never say a dry goodbye

So I got a picture of both of us, in a rainy dim sky

I gave you a letter and now I want to know what you think

Did I displease or please you? I think my soul is going to sink

You spoke to me of sentences like fill in the blanks

But here, right now, all I can say is my heartfelt trembling “thanks”

Thanks for the summer sun, the summer rain, and the summer fun

Thanks that you cured a lonely heart, that thought happy was gone

Thank you for the ICE CREAM, the little giggle from your wise mouth

It may be so soon, but you’ve change me and I’m done with feeling doubt

And so here we are now, back to life and back to reality

You’re working till 5, and my articles aren’t yet ready

I get reminded of the simple joy, of the love I cannot have

Looked through the glass window, somehow I don’t feel sad.

7. PAASA

Alam kong mali and sobrang pagmamahal

Tiwala’y wala, pakiramdam ba’y parang nasasakdal

Pinilit kong mabuhay, Sa pag-iisa nakikita ang kulay

Ngunit nakita kita, At ang ngiti ng yong mga mata ay buhay

Sinabi ko gabi-gabi, sana’y di ako umibig

Pagkat alam ko’y luha lang ang mananaig

Pero bakit sa tuwing umaga, Karlo ang bukambibig

Parang wala sa katinuan, ikaw na ang aking daigdig.

Ginawa ko ang lahat, mapalapit lang sayo

Pati mga kaibigan ko’y nawalan na sakin ng respeto

O ang pag-ibig ba’y sadyang ganito

Nakakalimutan ang lahat, pati ang sarili ko

Ngunit isang gabi tinapat na kita,

Ano na ba ito?, may patutunguhan pa ba?

Akala ko kasi, sabi mo’y kamahal-mahal ako

Yun pala’y may laman na, ang puso mong bato

Hinayaan mo akong umiyak,

ngumiti ka na para kang pumatay at nakasaksak

Itim na mga bulaklak,

pagmamahal ay nawalan ng halimuyak

Alam kong mali and sobrang pagmamahal

Tiwala’y mas wala, pakiramdam ba’y parang nasasakdal

Sinugat mo Karlo, ang puso at isip ko

At kailanma’y di ko na gustong, umasa ng ganito.

8. Sweet Cruelty

Once a joyous heart running through the wild

Loving every breeze of the wind, seawater’s mild

Wake up in the middle of suns and moons

Life is her piece of diamond teeth, stark and sleepy noons

Let go of the childish things for one day it’s the end

She burned all the dolls and turned pink to black she bend

Enter thousands of doors, signed papers and she scores

But later before she sleeps her tears never gets her bored

Would this be reality? To let go of my inner self

To hide it and suffer for this world to be sane

Can’t let go of the past but future I need to be

Why did I end up facing this sweet cruelty?

9. Is This the Price?

Is this the price of being on Top? Hurtful words from mean people?

Is this the price of being too good? Abused and underestimated like I’m simple?

Is this the price of having an unconditional heart? Broken always?

Is this the price of the life that I wanted to restart? Hard and insane days?

They said to be everything, nothing you should become,

I wanted to please all, and my bosses had me done

I’m still in the office, late and it’s past eight

They say I’m an asset, but is this the price of my fate?

To have no life at all and these papers are my rates?

I messed up once and I said I wanted to sort out my life

I wake up to prepare for them and carry their strife

Every day I let people use me, even if my muscles are tired

I said my love for them, would cover it all

But is this the price to be good and feel short of respect at all?

Graces had been said and love has been given

All I wanted was to do good and always be even

But I’m afraid one day;

these hardships will take my sweetness away

Is this the price of life? Should I waste it away?

10. FEARLESSLY

I have decided that I need to be aware of the fact that every day, I’m dying, little by little, and so along with that decision, was the idea to tell myself every moment, with a brave little whisper, to LIVE FEARLESSLY.

I may not be the very best version of myself right now; I can still change, for better or for worse.

I realized that I could not let any second pass by, spending it with listening to people, who doesn’t help me grow into the light of myself. That I can’t allow the creation of disruption to myself caused by words and people carelessly pulling me down to the black hole of messy misery.

Seems cold, but this is self care. The spiritual journey of a human is never always about being nice, it’s about being truthful and honest, that way you can really conserve your energy and consume it to the experiences worth of your hours as a living human being.

11. Free from your Ghost

Unless I remove your number, I’m never free from your ghost

Unless I delete all the pictures, I’m never free from your ghost

Unless I unfriend you, I’m never free from your ghost

Unless I stop thinkin’ bout you, I’m never free from your ghost

Days and nights spent crying I could fill up a water balloon

Your face unwelcomed, knocking on my mind like the sun and moon

I sleep in silence and remember your smile

I just want to punch myself, this has been a trouble for a while

if I change my mind, I could be free from your ghost

Uif I accept the facts, I could be free from your ghost

Maybe the memories wouldn’t haunt me around anymore

If I just make up my mind, move on, cuz I can’t take this, no more

12. Scratching Scabs

I run fast, summer wind, sunset child heart

Smiles all year, no sorry tears, loving apple pie tarts

I see, I feel, I dream, I draw all my happy screams

Afternoon sleeping, but I feel like a rainbow sunshine beam

Then soon a teen, think fast, solve, and ace the tests

But little heart in my ribs whispers of television kisses when I rest

Looking for the dream one by spring, red balloons glittering had flown

Still driving for these love letters like the road is already known

Got back home one day, seems like winter, letters replied by no’s

I said, “Why and how, when I feel like I did my all”, but it’s a no.

Threw a plate in a wall, pieces flew, cut me open and I bleed a sorry song

“Where’s the child that ran so fast, with the summer wind that’s strong”

I dried tears every night by sleep; an adult waking up in a cold room

See pictures of your face, and the flowers dried up that used to bloom

Its gray and its fall, wondering why my heart, now, feels so small?

It feels like a scab, soon scratched, will bleed, but feels nothing at all.

13. Para kay, Papa(TAY)

Nawala ka noong ako’y bata pa.

Hindi ko alam ang tunay na luha,

Pero ngayon ay nadarama ko na.

Sana lumaki ako ng kasama kita.

Mga araw na walang magtatanggol

Sa mga lait nilang aking iniiyak na lamang na para akong sanggol.

Mga meeting na walang umaattend dahil naghahanap buhay si mama,

At ikaw, ay wala nang talaga.

Minsa’y naiingit, “buti pa sila, may ama” ang laging sambit

Dumaan sa mga pagsubok, sa sarili’y nagagalit

Kailangan ko maging matapang, dala ang iyong pangalan

Dahil baling araw, ika’y aking mapaparangalan.

Mga kaibigan kong katulad ko na wala naring ama,

Sana’y malaman niyo na balang araw sila’y ating makikita.

Nawala man sila noong tayo’y bata pa,

Ngunit, kasama natin sa paglaki natin ang ating mga ama, kahit nawala man sila.

14. HALLUCINATIONS OF PEACE

It’s just Wednesday and I’m already in a spin

My hearts on fire and my mind seems dim

Dreaming of lighthouse views, I want a genuine grin

But life’s real hard, and June skies scream grim

I want to succeed, I want to grow and soar

But this test paper is such a lying gore

All my life, news of hate make me bored

Still people throw bullets and then do deceit roars

Why does peace feel like a weird hallucination?

Will it ever be mine and in my intuition?

Keep them off my mind for my salvation

I want to live fully, without any hesitation.

15. BURNED THE RICE

I was supossed to make you feel something I poured out the unclean waters I was supposed to see everything But the little rocks hid deep in the waters I was supposed to put out the flame Then I saw myself lighting up another match Dinner dish cooked in vain of my name Together with the rice and the fresh fish catch Boiling bubbles, sharp words of deceit I prepare the plates and I see you sit Salad of lies, tossed as you eat The rice has burned and dropped knives to my feet What kind of love it is? If man punches his rose I said to the blood, this is the last dinner I’ll host Suffocation, hatred and bruises led me here Now choke and die, poisoned food for my husband dear.

16. ONE-SIDED LOVE

I have been nothing but good to you I have been dancing in flames just to please you Where will this lead if you let my heart bleed And you sing songs of me being bad for you I wake up each day to make you fully love me babe I think of you more than the times I eat in a day I think of you more than the times I’ve said I’m okay. I can have it all, yet I can never have you at all.

17. HAIKU’S

FACEBOOK FRIENDNIVERSARY

Napaka Saklap

Hanggang Friendniversary

Lang pala tayo

INTERNAL HOMOPHOBIA

Sino ka ba J?

Mang-api pa ba ng gays

Gay ka rin naman.

BUTAS BULSA

Bakit ang sakit

Kapag wala nang pera

Kaysa sa lovelife

CYCLOPS THE CHIKADORA

Magtrabaho ka

Puro ka chismis, miss A

M.Y.O.B. Please.

18. I AM THE KATZENJAMMER

The red and blue sirens scream my silent guilt I hide in the shadows of glass shattered gasps The walls of pain, saying sorry that I built The strangest synonyms of my broken past I cry for the moon and stare at the fiery sun Cracked lines of my dry observations rally and run In my head, in my soul, the rusty dagger goes deep Silence these thoughts so I can get some sleep I kissed the flame of troubles and bad fear For death feels like the only dream thats near Dark blue oceans of flying numbers and words When will I leave this gray cynical world? Now every step I make brings sore, ugly hell To the doors of the lives I can lavishly retell Jagged pieces of memory in the cold lonely rain I wish I wasn’t like this, I hope I’m not insane.

19. CURSED MY CROWN

And so you see me crying and you win

You brought me to my knees and I gave in

Words like knives, you carelessly cast me down

Is this the curse of wearing this damned crown?

All the while I was doing nothing but good

People should mind their own business as they always should

But your mouth and mind just can’t be shut

You keep harrassing me, and keep filling me with doubt

I want to do good, but why are you this mean?

Did you have a rough childhood, and to me you’re lashing it in?

I want peace and wars I shall end

For I am queen and king even if you want me dead and bent

Throw your cannonballs to a mighty shining sun

For light you can’t stand, you evil, drastic, mediocre clown

What I built with love and beauty, you have to ruin with your mouth

We’ll both see one day, who goes down south

It always begins with an unholy tongue

The curse you brought to my crown is what I frown upon

Devilish motives of your heart I forgive

But under the eyes of God, what you deserve you shall recEIve.

20. DECEITFUL LOVER

Bark to the void, you’re a clean heart you say But all that is done are for traps that you lay You believe in human nature, but inside you disagree As you can never give love, to one that’s not pretty Spread the word of Love, for a lover you want to claim But deep in the shadows, your judgments will stay same The paradox is so; you seem to be good, But where does your heart lie, for a creature like me whose made of wood? Count our stars now, and speak that you detest me For you always have and you always will be the silent insanity The farce and the game you play will be done For providence will gobble you up, when the point has come.

21. MGA “WAG” Pag may crush

a. Wag kang masyadong pabibo. May mga taong madaling ma-intimidate beh. Baka isa dun si cras.

b. Wag mo idaan sa sulat ang feelings mo. Kung feeling mong romantic yon, pwes di na gumagana sa mga taong ungrateful yan.

c. Wag kang cliché. Gulatin mo siya. Sabihin mong gago siya. Hindi yung mga cute or gwapo lines. Inaamag na mga linyahang ganyan.

d. Wag kang pabebe. Tang na loob. Di bagay sa’yo

e. Wag kang magkuwento ng kahinaan.

f. Wag kang umasa. Tas maninisi ka na pinaasa ka kahit wala naman. Lul!

g. Wag kang plastic. Sabihin mo kung nahurt ka sa mga salita o kilos niya. Hindi yung, okay lang ng okay kasi crush mo.

h. Wag kang touchy. Creepy yon baliw.

i. Wag kang uminom nang dahil lang sa lalake tas pumasok ng hangover at magpakachaka sa school. Di magandang picture yon frend.

j. Wag kang mangulit. Yaan mo siya. Kung para siya sayo, you don’t have to try hard.

k. Wag kang mag-imagine ng kung ano ano. Chill lang please. Hirap sa’tin mahilig pangunahan lahat eh. Tas iiyak. Logic plz.

l. Wag na wag kang gumawa ng playlist for him. Maalala mo siya mas lalo sa mga songs. Sige ka sayang yung mga fave songs mo mababahiran ng sakit, sugat at hinagpis.

m. Wag mo siya i-drawing kung artistic ka. Di rin yan na-aapreciate (kahit sabihin nila na naapreciate daw, lul!) Pinagod mo lang sarili mo.

n. Wag kang mag-aya lumabas pag umuulan. Connect the dots please.

o. Wag mo siyang masyadong tingnan. Magpokus ka nyeta ka. Sayang ang uno sa klase. Marami na kaming tanga wag ka na dumagdag please.

p. Wag mo alamin lahat ng bagay tungkol sa crush mo. Hindi magiging kayo kung alam mong nagbakasyon sila sa Singapore noong 17 siya at tinuli siya nung summer of 2008. Wag ganon. Ibang kabaliwan na yan.

q. Wag kang bobo sa pag-ibig. Wag magpaka Top-Notcher sa pagpapakatanga, walang lisensya yan.

r. Wag magkunwari. Mas nagugustuhan tayo, kung tayo’y nagpapakatotoo. Bow!

22.LONELY BED

I guess I’ll be spending the rest of my nights in this lonely bed. Nothing but the sound of the rain on this lonely bed. Wishes of mornings with you by my side in this lonely bed. Wish I could stop the tears right now cause my eyes are red. See you smiling like the sun in the gates of summer See you crossing your eyebrows like this world is sweet and sour See you staring at the window watching lonely towers Days gone by and my heart is eaten by the passing hours Where will you go? I wanna know, cuz all of the things just seem so miserable, Where will we be? Do I wanna be? But my mind and heart is not free and baby youre not, ever ever ever for me. Guess I’ll spending all my nights on a sorry sing along With a guitar on my head just to make a emotionally coherent song Wished of mornings by your side in this lonely head Guess I’ll be spending all my nights on this lonely bed.

23. BEAUTIFUL HELL (SHORT STORY)

He woke up on a dim sobbing sky in June and he decided to turn his computer on. He was watching "The Ice Cream Show" then he stares at the foggy window. He fixes himself some food as he sees a mirror of himself through the H-guy, tue protaginist, from the images of a manga on play. He smiles. Days pass and the wheels of vans and jeeps to school from home just seemed so rudimentary. Teachers and papers didn’t seem much exciting. He just wanted to shake up his gray, cold earth that mimicks the life of his "role model". Then he saw "Her". He wasn't sure about what he was about to do. He just kept insisting on his mind that his Ice Cream Show fantasy was about to breath and speaks in flesh. The gamer boy falls in love. He sees Eru through her. The way she smiles. The way she is. The way he felt for her was another dimension. And in a cold summer rain of sobbing skies, he saw sunlight. He approached her. "Hi" he says. And soon enough he has found himself thinking that she needs to be part of him. They needed to be together. Or so he thinks. The streets of Tacloban was filled with walking empty faces. He knew that every after game, he just wanted to be beside his Eru girl That the roads crossed were nothing as long as he gets her presence, he just keeps on following her. The screams of doubt are however, running wild. Love is never ever enough, though. Eru girl had plans. He was too young for her. She was too dedicated with her life that she wanted to give back the love through friendship. He screams and they whisper, she talks and her friends screams. The world shifts and scenes happen. The mess of holding hands, walking together on the dim sky while the love was ready just never painted a good picture. Circles of "I promise" and "I need you" kept walking through lying mouths and filtered ears, up until it was dryly exhausting. So the road diverts and soon the story he ought to tell the world, patterned to Hyouka, just has never conceived anything like dreamt of. It was neither a nightmare nor a sweet dream, the nothingness was his hell, and they became everything to nothing. So he woke up on a dim sobbing sky in June, decided to turn the computer on and played. He played differently but through the same sad soul. He’s smart, he learned. But his knees were kissing. He graduated with hopes both dying and blooming. Days pass and he, now works. Wondering why he never got through and true... with his beautiful hell.

24. Payaso

Isang masayahing katauhan Malayo sa impyerno at sakit ng buhay Pulang labi at ilong na kasing bilog ng buwan Hari ng mga nakakatawang salaysay Ngunit bawat makukulay na ngiti niya’y ikinubling luha Bawat araw na siya’y ngumingiti, kabiyak ay pagluksa Dahil ang kanyang pagkabuhay ay siya rin pagkamatay Ng batang minsang puno ng pagkadalisay Payaso ngayo’y ako, at yaong bata ay ako Iniwan ko ang aking sarili dahil sa malupit na mundo Lahat ng biro ko ay sigaw ng paghingi ng saklolo Dahil hindi na kaaya-aya ang buhay na ito.

25. tomorrow (japan)

I was scared to know, scared to fall When come around, I stand tall I wouldn’t flinch, I couldn’t inch Any move to break my wall I saw you love me, but I couldn’t love you Because I knew in the end, you’ll just leave me too And that day came that i feared My heart cut opened and I was seared The blood of your love, I cry in my heart You got tired of me, for she’s now your revered. A few years lost, My job ends at five I saw your face on the sunset dive It’s when I realized I lost it all The love you gave just couldn’t be revived Then a Facebook message, My heart beats fast It's you since forever, but this was your last You're leaving for Japan tomorrow morning With a wife and a kid, my heart at blast. Why did I ever let you go? I knew I should’ve said I love you so But now it’s all to late, I say "have a safe trip" Forever is real, for forever my heart is ripped.

26. SAMAD

Sana, maibalik ko pa an panahon Adto ka na ha iya, waray na ako higugmaon Kada gab-e, pagtinuok la tak buruhaton Kay gin sayang ko an panahon nga para unta ha aton Napabay-an ko na gud an akon kalugaringon Nawarayan hin gana han tanan na hirimu-on Tak kasing-kasing, samad ngan bagan na lubong Kay sala ko man, kun kay ano nawara, ikaw ha akon. Yana nakikit.an ta ikaw nga malipayon Ngan it mas masakit pa kay diri agi ha akon Sana maklimtan ta ikaw dayon Kay ini nga sakit, diri irilubon.

27. Kill And Ruin Love, Odysseus

You killed me without saying any word. You turned me to a fireball, then into a rock, icy and cold. You’re company made me happy; I thought I lost blue, But it’s painful also, for all I’ve done, was nothing to you. I asked you to kill me, if this is going to be the end, Still you continue to break what’s left, the silence you send, Your Cheshire cat smile, you say you don’t mean to offend, But I know you know I’m broken, yet, you still ignore me and pretend. All I wanted was to always talk to you. I wanted to figure out; I wanted to know you from you. But you treat me like nothing, so nothing I become, If that brought you pleasure, I’d just get up in tears and run. I stop to persist, because I’m frozen in waters, Tomorrow I might drown; tomorrow I will still suffer, The perfect storm is alive; the winds in my wake are throwing me. Into the hallow shell, that you hoped I would be.

28. Sunny Days

Mud Pies, climbing up Mango Trees, Run through the grass fields, breathe and see, Sunshine on my hair, Scratches on my knee, I feel so awake, and I feel more than free. Rainy days were good, I’m a pluviophile, I made Paper Mermaids and let them sink in a while, The Paper angels were acting up too, Burn the demons with match-sticks and glue. Night comes along and My Barbie’s hair is dry, I’m eating the corn from our cornfields ply, My Mama is writing lessons, my brother’s have slept away, I’m still awake, wondering, tomorrow’s another day. I panicked, awake and cold, it’s just another sweet memory, I’m here on this dark room, my shift starts by three, I’m away from my family, I have to get up and work, The actuality kicks in, I'm pierced by a giant pitchfork.

29. Acid and Red

My Little Darling, It’s been a while since we talked, Leave me alone you said, Tonight, I cried and walked, My Little Darling Boy, I might say I’m not over you, Because now, you’re hands are cold, and I’m staring at you. After that night, after I fight, I knew, and knew what was coming through, After I died, after I tried, I knew, it’s new and to end you is what I want to do. See on that side, that’s your girl, lying cold on the floor, Now you’re really a twosome, but I don’t feel so sore, See on the right, that’s a drum of acid, and a heavy metal gore, I’ll fix it together with our memories on the score. I sweat of danger, and black and silent mind, My true self now, I can never ever find, You buried it before I had the chance, Now I rise from my death, now you’re at my last glance. I plant the knife on you’re sorry little heart, My Darling Little Boy, you shouldn’t have broken my heart, Now I love you even more, I wished we’ve had more conversations, But alas! This night, is my night of revelations. And now, it’s morning, in pieces you have melt, With your little whore, whose love you never felt, What have you DONE TO ME, is what I did to you Now I burn off everything, and go to hell with YOU.

30. Dear Big Brother

I’m so sorry, I wasn’t near I was worried, covered in fear But now you’re gone, your sight can’t be found How I wish you’re still around I miss you Big Brother, I miss your cruel jokes The time we laughed so hard and spit out bubbles of coke But now, all I see is a glowing flatline The doctors did everything, they said it’s fine Why aren’t you breathing Your stomach’s not moving I wish your just sleeping Crying now, I miss you smiling I hope you’re okay “there” I still feel you in the house, everywhere Thank you for the memories, I’ll see you one day The tears have dried, but I’ll miss you everyday.

31. Four Walls

All my breathing, I’ve never been so sure If I’ll make it out alive; even there’d be no cure Sad heart I see you crying, I’ll let you be For one day the game ends, there’s no need to see And he bask on the energy he threw me into What I see from my past, a hollow of two People and places never stay the same They take your heart now, but only pain I have claimed The sun arises; it burns all that’s left And the tragedy now, is to ask “what is left?” The rain will scream, the forests will cry For all they have known, is that someday I’ll die I like how I think though, it’s negative and raw They say it’s a bad thing, but what bad does good draw? I see no pleasure in being a conforming prick Wake up now, or you’ll be swallowed by bricks.

32. July Goodbyes

I see your resist, getting gone from me It's like a gum, stuck beneath your tee But I’m just a shadow, they speak about my name I tell you this Mr. K, I can never be tamed. Your ghost haunted me for more than forty days Yet I'm the one who's dead, in tears I restlessly lay I hear your humming, I see you raising your eyebrows You talk to me when I'm sleep, I awake in silent growls You've never done anything, and that's the problem, I deduce that you loathe me, don’t know what you said to them, I never really cared; all I wanted was your presence, Be my calming words, when my storms are insistent. But you never gave me a chance, you don't like risks Maybe that's why; you're living with such lists I never understood, how a being can be scared When he only lives on a silent verve, he can never be spared. Now be a man, as you aver yourself to be You don't need flowers, or chocolates or tea Go perceive the unknown, move out of common mold For I guarantee you, you'll only get jaded when you're old.

33. Wayward Thoughts

All I know is something's different again. It’s just every time you wake up, every single memory is all part of a very unforgivable and permanent yesterday. Everything you remember is now past. I hate sudden changes. Regardless of the fact on how I used to ask for it to occur. Everything for only a while and the rest is unknown. These moments I treasure like someone’s going to take it away from me. It’s been really hard every night there’s no star in sight, I love stars. They make me feel different and directed when I see them, all hanging in front of a vast universe ready to shower me hope in the darkness of this world. It’s like my useless mannerism (talking to the stars) yet very relevant to my drowning system. I have to keep these moments. Just them; Sad and Perfect. They both change me, suddenly.

34. Shades of Clouds

Grey, on a rainy day, grave and treacherous Amid the drops, on foot towards the dangerous Only to feel and feed my sorrow Howling through the streets of red, green and yellow Bright, on a silly blue sky, as happy as a fruity tune Reminds me of Ferris Wheels and the sunshine of June Summer on my skin, Glasses shaped of hearts Sweet soul smiling, like the moment of a fresh start Dark at night, Blind as love It’s the fluffy noir bed, of the stars above Little dream catcher, bring me a play For tonight my reveries will take the pain away Lilac, Pink, and Tangerine creams Sun goes down, forever in my dreams The dusk owns my heart; it’s my love and my view Each end of the day, is a chance for something new Now I see clouds, like my short funny life One day I’m crying, the next day I’m on hype Teach me how to fall, teach me how to feel Shades of clouds, they tell me what’s real.

35. Water Colors

Purple Adoring you felt like a warm blanket during a thunderstorm, sanctuary made of stone. Black & White I always took photographs of you, for I feared that I might lose you, and I'll be all alone. Blue You made me feel bliss, but you also made me sad. Shadow cries of sorrow. Red I cherished you so hard, that I forgot to love myself, and sadness now I know. Orange The morning I let go of you, for I love you, and you need to be free from my ghoul. Yellow That you find the girl with the yellow umbrella, and she'll bring delight to your soul. That will everlastingly, bring me happiness too.

0 notes

franeridart · 7 years

Note

I'm so glad Kirishima is getting so much spotlight, he really deserves it!!!! And it looks like hes gonna get more, since hes in the main group along with Deku, Uraraka and Tsuyu. I;m so hyped!!!

Honestly!!!!!!!!!!! That’s one interesting group tbh, Kirishima and Tsuyu’s interactions are always incredibly adorable to watch and seeing Kirishima interact for so long with pure and good people is gonna be hard on my heart (I mean, you know I’m 100% a bakusquad fan but they’re all at least in part assholes and Kiri fits with them just right, he can be just like Sero and Kaminari and I love it, but then his interactions with Amajiki have been so pure can you imagine an arc filled with that I’m already crying)

I just hope my other faves won’t completely disappear through this arc haha sigh

Anon said: So which Kacchan quote do you like best "Die your bacteria fucks, dieee!" or "BRING YOUR DAMN TRASH TO ME"?

LMAO SORRY ANON BUT MY FAVE GOTTA BE

WHAT A GODDAMN DISASTER THIS BOY IS

Anon said:there's a terushima week. thought i might tell you bc i miss you drawing him ;3; might wanna join? :3

Anon said:Terushima week is this next week! (@terushimaweek) Might we maaaybe see some cute lil bokuroterus sometime soon? ;)

As I’ve already said, sadly I’ve found out about this too late to be part of it - I’m not completely ruling out the possibility of doodling something one of the days, but I didn’t have the time to plan anything and I’m still in the middle of working things through with the bakushima week and bakugou’s birthday so I don’t know - they 19th is Teru’s birthday so maybe I’ll draw something for it, but it’s also a super busy day for me so it really depends on how soon I’ll be able to finish everything else I’m working on orz I’m sorry guys I seriously had no clue about this till, like, five days ago o

Anon said: What are your thoughts on KiriDeku b/c I'm not even that into it but as soon as I saw art I was like "OMFG I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING SO PURE CHOULD EVER EXIST!!!" My following thought was that'd you may have something interesting to say (as you always do, I luv it), so here I am 😁 Also, I love the blog, your amazing art, and you!! I truly appreciate all you do ❤️❤️

Awwww thank you!!! And I dunno, as things are now my opinion on a possible ship might change soon enough because it looks like their interactions amount is about to skyrocket, so anything I say right now is just a temporary answer? But generally I find their friendship incredibly adorable, though as of now I don’t think I can see anything romantic between the two... mostly because even though I’ve seen them being friendly and supportive of each other I don’t think I’ve ever seen them actually connect over anything that wasn’t Bakugou?? Being friendly and supportive is just how they both are with everyone, before I can say I ship them I’m gonna need something more singular to their relationship

I might be totally biased here considering where my main shipping lies, though haha

Anon said:HOSHIHINA!!!! YESSSSS!!!! PLEASE!!!!!! I think this is like.... my new OTP or well... a new OTP that I will gratefully put on the shelf next to all my other children in love!! oh yeah and THANK YOU for introducing me to both BNHA and d grey man! I'M IN LOVE!!! oH and YOUR ART IS AMAZING!!! KEEP IT UP!! I WILL GRATEFULLY SWALLOW UP ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU POST IT'S AMAZING!!! YOUR OC'S TOO!!! Have a nice day!!

So much!!! HYPE in this ask!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!! Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for EVERYTHING anon I hope you’ll have the best day!!!!!! *O* And I’m SUPER GLAD you gave dgm and bnha a try!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Aww the kiss. I know you posted it the other day, but it wouldn't load on my tablet. They're so cute, those two. 💜✌

*lays down forever* they are aren’t they those pure idiots !!!!

Anon said:I'm laughing so hard. Literally everyone that read the new chapter was like expectation vs reality. I love my idiots. Also yas to HoshiHina

HoshiHina is an A+ ship with A+ potential and I think I’m being slowly but surely swallowed by it - then again, what Hinata ship don’t I ship even ??? the mysteries

Anon said:To answer you question on what cheese sticks are, they're this disgusting processed cheese stick, also known as string cheese, and it's p much what it is, cheese in the form of a small stick that you can pull apart into strings and eat like that! (as you may have noticed, I'm not a fan hah) ((I don't know if you know the artist mookie, but she made a comic about bokuto eating a cheesestick whole before)

Anon said: cheese sticks = string cheese? D: they are delicious i promise

I’m seeing conflicting reports here (lol) but yes this might be a problem for me only because as I said I’m Italian but what I’m failing to see here is what kind of cheese are these things supposed to be ???

Anon said:Are you into Kuroken?

Only as very good friends, I don’t ship it romantically at all

Anon said:I love your bakushimas, SO SO SO MUCH. God, and with the latest chapter, I just can't wait for more interactions with them. God, seeing as I think Kirishima was filmed by the people that were there, I want to see Bakugou's reaction to his new move.

This took me long enough to answer that we now know Baku’s reaction was total and utter envy at how popular Kiri is LMAO - but yeah I still think Baku already knew about Kiri’s new move! After all he most probably came up with it as they trained for the license exam and I can’t believe he wouldn’t test it against Bakugou to make sure he actually turns unbreakable? Also proud-of-himself Kiri yelling at the squad to check out his new move is too much of a good image I can’t let that one go hahaha

Anon said:I started following you for Haikyuu but started boku no hero academia in order to understand what your other drawings were so I thank you (and blame you) for getting me hooked on another anime and manga :)

I’m!!!!!! HAPPY you ended up liking it???!!!! *O*

Anon said:I just wanted to tell you that you're my most fave artist here in tumblr istg i go to your page everyday just to go back at the fanart you drew if you didn't have any new, but when u have, my heart just swells and i fuss over it. God bless you because you opened my eyes for bakushimanari when i was just kiribaku back then.. God i love denki sfm right now bc of you, im sad bkk week is over though ahh and laven. Jfc i love your laven pls draw them more if u can 😘 i hope you'll have a great day!!

Don’t!!!! worry anon Laven has been my #1 otp since I was sixteen at this point it’s just not gonna leave me ever, I’ll definitely draw more of it in the future! And thank you??? so much?????? Oh man!!!!!

Anon said:Everyone in class 1-A: *trains as if they're gonna be in a battle royal and need to (literally) slaughter the competition* Competition: OBSTACLE RACE YAY

Well, the anime did change the training scenes a lot lol but LMAO anon they’re highschoolers what were you expecting hahahahaha it’s already savage enough as it is, I assure you lol

Anon said:Hi hello yes are you up for some angsty stuff because my brain turns even the sweetest moment to that, like what if kaminari saw bakushima's first kiss and he becomes so sad b/c he crushes on them both but he pretends not to and starts teasing 'em like a true bro while hiding his feelings and idk it's only if you want but yeah, how's your day been?

..........I would lie if I said I didn’t think about this while drawing that kiss R I P my multishipper heart is gonna kill me BUT IT’S OKAY I’m not one for unhappy endings so consider this - Denki sees them kiss, since he’s best bro and both Kirishima and Bakugou tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves he already knew this was gonna happen so he’s like, sad but resigned it hurts and he wishes he didn’t have to see it but he loves them both so much that he can’t help but being happy for how happy they are at the same time too (sure, being part of that happiness would be a dream coming true, but he’s used to never coming first he can deal with this hahahahaha r i p)

Meanwhile a bit after the kiss once Kiri is a hundred per cent sure Bakugou isn’t going to explode his head off if he mentions his very huge crush on Kaminari he does and Bakugou’s like, shit, it’s not like he’d mind it because Kaminari is, well, he’s Kaminari and Bakugou isn’t sure why but he’s comfortable to be around and easy to talk to and he’s stupidly pretty and like, yeah, okay, he might be into him too, maybe, he isn’t admitting anything here (not like he needs to, as stated already he’s pretty easy to read), but Kaminari’s also the no homo type of het so it’s not like they can do much about this threeway crush or whatever, and Kirishima’s like sure, I know, I just wanted to be open about this to avoid trouble, which is very sensible and will cut us on a lot of miscommunication angst this is getting out of hand let’s skip ahead I always forget how much fun I have writing this kind of bullshit

For however much Kaminari swore he could deal with it and how much he’s actually managing to deal with it he’s also the same brand of open book Baku and Kiri are and while it was easy to act like friends with no romantic feelings when everyone was doing the same, trying to hide from Bakugou and Kirishima while they’re openly in a relationship turns out to be more or less impossible, mostly because he can’t seem to avoid the longing stares and sad smiles and the I have to go I just remembered I have a thing to do bye’s when it becomes too much, and Kirishima might not be the brightest but he’s perfectly in tune with everyone’s feelings and Bakugou might stomp on people’s feelings more often than not but he is the brightest which means they notice and they’re like god fucking damn it - Bakugou in nature isn’t one to talk about problems until they burst out in fits of anger, but thank god he’s got Kirishima right there and they might not be 100% sure they got the reason for Kaminari’s weirdness right but they’re exasperated and they at least want their friend to stop being weird and avoiding them, they miss him (and Kaminari seriously misses them too he feels so stupid for how big of a deal he’s turning this into) SO they corner him and talk it out cause I’m a slut for open and honest communication and Kaminari straight out starts crying from happiness and relief before they’re even done talking and Kirishima starts crying right after him because sympathetic crier supreme and Bakugou’s like you know what I changed my mind fuck both of you emotional disasters I’m out

(spoiler he isn’t really)

#fran answers #SO MANY WORDS IN THIS ONE R I P #i got carried away on that last one s o r r y #instead of working on the fills gdi fran stop procrastinating #anonymous

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