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pigeonwhumps · 10 days

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Rules

Pets of the Silver Screen masterlist

Taglist: @maracujatangerine @clairelsonao3 @whumplr-reader @whumpinggrounds @bbu-on-the-side

Multiple times over the years, Agatha learns the rules.

2.1k

CWs: BBU, pet whump, kidnapping, collar, beating, stress positions, dehumanisation, non-con nudity (non sexual)

Agatha juts her chin out, poise perfect despite the tip-toe position she's been forced into.

"My name is Miss Agatha Stanbury, daughter of Lord Kenneth Stanbury. Let me go and you may get out of this alive."

Foster Montgomery smirks, pressing his knife into her neck, blood beading along its edge.

"I think I'd rather keep you. Nobody's going to find you, certainly not after I'm finished with you." He drags his knife down her front, slitting her clothes. They mostly stay on, but it must be a very sharp knife to manage that. "Take them off."

"No."

He holds up the knife, reminding her. "What did you say?"

Agatha swallows but keeps her poise. She's going to be an actress, she can pretend she has nothing to fear.

"I said no. You have given me nothing to wear afterwards and I will not follow your disgusting commands."

"I have more suitable clothing for you later, if you earn it. But if you won't obey willingly I'll have to do it for you."

Agatha's barely had a chance to process the statement when she's slammed to the ground. All her bones are jarred and her nose explodes with agony. A boot seems to grind her into the floor as Montgomery removes her clothing piece by piece.

She hates herself for thinking it, but at least he lets her keep her knickers.

He grunts in satisfaction, and hauls her to her knees. She shoves his hands away and stands, but is back on her knees in less than a second.

"Stay." He reaches behind him and picks up a leather collar complete with tag.

Agatha doesn't move when he reaches out and buckles the suffocating leather around her throat, but not out of obedience. She just doesn't think she can.

She reaches up to touch it, but Montgomery smacks away her hand before she can.

"Don't even think about it. I'll only ever remove it if you need a punishment that might interfere with the collar somehow, so if you do so yourself I'll assume that's what you're after. But you do still deserve a punishment. Bend over."

Agatha swallows hard, the soft leather and cold metal buckle pressing against her throat. She doesn't move. She only came down for the season, she's not going to obey a kidnapper who's apparently obsessed with turning her into a pet.

He couldn't find a volunteer? There's enough of them.

She pitches forward onto her hands and knees as he pushes her over, pulling her knickers down.

"Bare flesh is best for this. Pets obey. They don't say no. They don't talk back. You need to learn this."

Agatha has never had such a thrashing in her life as she receives then. No-one's ever drawn blood before. She's not passed out enough by the end to receive a reprieve though – he orders her to clean the house, and woe betide her if he finds a speck of dust or blood.

She experiences it all as if from miles away. As if from the gathering she's supposed to be at right now, with entirely different rules. She's not in her body, most of the time, and that's probably for the best.

That day and the next, she learns the rules of being Foster Montgomery's captive.

1) Don't say no.

2) Only speak when spoken to.

3) Don't talk back.

4) Address other people as sir or ma'am.

5) Always obey immediately.

6) Don't remove your collar.

7) Punishments are always deserved, always hard, and given at the slightest provocation.

She adds an extra one from herself, too, which she knows is true. Montgomery giving her a collar is not just him being a sick bastard, it's theatre, another part of the pretense. Because even if he were to parade her in front of those she loves, everyone knows that only pets wear collars.

8) No-one's coming to my rescue. I'm not getting out of here unless I do it myself.

Over the next few months, the rules don't change. The chores are hard, and the punishments harsh, and a lot more of her is scarred now. Very little of what Montgomery does has any logic to it.

But she still can't find an escape. She fears she's sinking into it.

When she's hired by Hayes Fletcher, more rules are added to the list.

9) Don't talk to the other pet.

10) If you disobey, it won't just be you who's punished.

Eloise won't receive whippings, of course, and no canings during the shoot, but she can be put in stress positions, or starved, or have a bucket of water dumped over her head before being left in the unheated studio overnight. And Agatha has absolutely no desire to subject her to anything other than a good hot meal and somewhere better to sleep.

Rule 7 is underlined dramatically by the inspector's visit. In the aftermath, Agatha's arm and back throbbing, blood pooling on the frozen stone floor that her toes are just able to touch, Eloise whimpering from her own position, Agatha makes sure to add another two rules to herself (though the second is altered after Eloise's angry objections).

11) Don't talk about the situation to outsiders. It will only make things worse.

12) Don't break the rules. Even Only if Eloise agrees to do so.

Agatha could possibly escape during the transatlantic crossing. She thinks about it. Even jumping overboard might be better. But she needs to see Eloise again. Be sure that she's alive and physically unhurt (from the sinking at least, Agatha has no doubt she'll have been hurt since). Tell her that she's brave, and a hero, because if it had been anyone but fellow pets she'd saved, if she was anyone but a pet herself, her actions would've been lauded, but instead it's Hayes Fletcher who's being praised for having such a good pet. Which isn't right, it isn't fair, and Agatha can't leave Eloise on her own.

That's when Agatha solidifies the last rule for herself, that's been brewing since she first met Eloise but she's never stopped to think about it before.

13) Her and Eloise only have each other, and will always have each other.

Then the Great War comes.

Foster Montgomery signs up to fight. He leaves Agatha in Hayes Fletcher's care, who lends her to the munitions factory, for good publicity and probably money (money for Fletcher? Money for Montgomery? She doesn't know. But neither man is big into philanthropy). Eloise isn't there. Agatha follows the rules Montgomery has already given her, hating the fact that they keep her alive.

Another few rules are added.

14) Don't become emotional.

15) Never make a sound.

16) Just because you're working alongside people, doesn't mean you are one.

That last is... profoundly obvious, at times. When the rest of the workers get to go home at the end of their shifts and she is kept working, or if there's no-one else at all, locked in the breakroom until morning. When she's fed less than the others, or when she's beaten, or–

It's so obvious, even more so than when she was hired by Hayes Fletcher. She hates it. And she's so alone here.

The war will be over by Christmas, right?

1915. Foster Montgomery is dead, and Agatha desperately wishes she could thank his killer, if anybody even knows. She gets a new tattoo, signifying her ownership by Hayes Fletcher (luckily, she knows his rules, there's no new ones to learn there). The Munitions Act comes into force, and the regular bombing raids start.

Monkey's paw. She's not alone anymore, but it means that Eloise, and several other pets, have joined her in the munitions factory.

She teaches Eloise what she's learned about staying out of trouble where possible. They have a dedicated bunkroom now, pets crammed in on old bedding on the floors of the worst-maintained rooms. They learn that only a few owners have paid for their pets to be taken to air raid shelters.

Hayes Fletcher hasn't.

Night after night they spend, trying to stay calm as bombs rain down around them. Occasionally they're still chained or tied up at night, for punishments, and when that happens Agatha worries the most.

She learns one more rule.

17) Sometimes all you can do is pray.

The war ends. By a miracle, her and Eloise are both still alive. Hayes Fletcher goes back to producing films, albeit with less success. Agatha watches as pet liberation campaigns grow, and the next decade approaches with force. The world seems a little more hopeful, things seem to be changing.

Except for her and Eloise. Stuck with the horrible, spiteful little man, punishments getting worse as he gets more frustrated and blames them for it (or maybe he simply has nowhere else to put his anger). The world's moving on, votes for women are coming, and she can't help but think of what her life might be like if she hadn't been kidnapped all those years ago.

She remembers rule 7. And the last time was dreadful, and another attempt could get them both killed, but she mentions her rule to Eloise one night and Eloise agrees. They have to try, don't they? Sometimes, it's the only thing you can do.

A week later, the film studio burns down in the middle of the night. Arson, probably. By the time the fire brigade arrive to the burnt out husk Agatha and Eloise are already sneaking onto a train to London.

"If the both of you want rules, I can give you some," says Ira, clearly reluctant, "as long as we can go through the ones you already have first. Is that all right?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Ira nods. "Why don't you write me a list then? We can go through them while Eloise is busy."

Agatha takes the paper and pen she offers, wincing as she sits down, heart skipping a beat. She's still not used to it.

At the end of the session, her list reads:

1) Don't say no.

2) Only speak when spoken to.

3) Don't talk back.

4) Address people as sir or ma'am.

5) Always obey immediately.

6) Don't remove your collar.

7) Punishments are always deserved, always hard, and given at the slightest provocation.

8) No-one's coming to my rescue. I'm not getting out of here unless I do it myself.

9) Don't talk to the other pets.

10) If you disobey, it won't be just you who's punished.

11) Don't talk about the situation to outsiders. It will only make things worse.

12) Don't break the rules. Only if Eloise agrees to do so.

13) You and Eloise only have each other, and will always have each other. (Ira says she can get rid of this one partially too, but she's not so sure. Not yet)

14) Don't become emotional.

15) Never make a sound.

16) Just because you're working alongside people, doesn't mean you are one.

17) Sometimes all you can do is pray.

The new rules are easy, and straightforward, and Agatha doesn't entirely trust them. The list now reads:

1) You belong to yourself.

2) You will never be punished, no matter what you do.

3) You and Eloise only have each other, and will always have each other.

4) Sometimes all you can do is pray.

Agatha kneels on the floorboards, trembling. It's her turn today, Ira asked her to clean and she said yes, she's not sure why except she's so used to not being allowed to say no.

She hopes she's done well. She hopes she's done well. She hopes she won't be punished.

Ira doesn't do punishments. But all the same, she hopes she won't be punished.

There's footsteps, then they stop.

"Agatha?"

"I've finished cleaning, ma'am."

A hand on her shoulder. "Agatha, please look at me. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. Come on, look up."

Agatha obeys hesitantly. And gasps. Ira's eyes are dark and warm and how could Agatha ever have thought otherwise? Ira gets down to her level as Agatha grasps her hands tightly, pulling her into a rare hug.

"Rules one and two, Agatha."

"I belong to myself," whispers Agatha, still clutching Ira tightly, "and I will not be punished."

Ira's two rules. The only two she'll ever make.

1) I belong to myself.

2) I will never be punished, no matter what I do.

And there's a third, that Agatha has added herself, that she thinks she probably can after so long. Rule number 5, now Ira has been proven correct and number 3 has been partially removed (Agatha does not only have Eloise now).

5) Ira keeps her promises.

#whump #whump writing #bbu community #bbu #box boy universe #box babe #multiple whumpees #pet whump #kidnapping #lady whump #whumpee and whumper #whumpee and caretaker #pets of the silver screen #agatha stanbury #foster montgomery #ira waterhouse #not happy with the list formatting but nvm #historical whump

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explosionshark · 8 months

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Also: it was lost on me as a teen viewer why Faith goes back at the end of 4x16. I kind of got it but it genuinely hit me in this recent rewatch like

FAITH wants to run, but she knows Buffy wouldn’t and so she has to go back because she’s BUFFY now and Buffy is better than Faith. Buffy is a good person. Buffy would never leave it as someone else’s problem. Faith refuses to run because she’s In Buffy and she refuses to make Buffy as bad & disgusting as her!! I’m blowing myself up!!

She goes into full on panic when Riley is trying to be like actual-intimate, not quickie intimate. And like part of that is ABSOLUTELY her trauma & the fact that people have been “kind” to her so often to take advantage of her. But she’s also freaking out because this guy is trying to take advantage of BUFFY. Faith is used to sleazeballs saying & doing whatever to get to her & she tells herself she’s fine with it. But like having to be on the receiving end of genuine intimacy & kindness (especially from someone she doesn’t know how to say the right thing for, ie telling Joyce she’ll visit & Willow she’ll protect her)?

Like her instinct is already to be nasty and keep people at bay ie Tara, but someone trying to make HER be vulnerable & melting down and then in turn freaking out bc this guy MUST be taking advantage of Buffy?

Bri she loves her so much. Bri I’m crying. Bri she goes to such ridiculous lengths in her Crazy Girl Arc in Sunnydale. on some level it’s because she needs Buffy to hate her as much as she hates herself. But there is no way her LA Sequel moment is not in some way influenced by feeling Buffy’s residual emotions when they swap back & going “oh yeah wow I’m literally so bad, I can’t be fixed I need to die” and then goes of the handle AGAIN and tries the same tactic on Angel who recognizes it immediately.z

I’m rambling but ugh oh my god. I need a minute. I can’t take this. I can’t take Faith doing the absolute most to try and push everyone away & make them hate her even more as herself! And then doing the inverse as Buffy both because Faith doesn’t want to feel alone AND because she doesn’t want to ruin Buffy the way she ruined herself?

Evil. Evil!

Yeah it's definitely really tragic and deeply interesting that faith's view of herself by that point is that she's SO fundamentally Bad that she needs the pretense of being someone else (and BUFFY specifically) to do good.

There's lots of good meta out there about faith's implied sexual trauma and how that intersects with her violation of riley. I think that definitely one of the most fucked up and sad parts of it is how it's literally riley saying he loves buffy that makes faith freak out. "who are you? what do you want with her?" the stutter in faith's voice, the breathlessness. it's sheer terror. and it's horrible. and it ends with faith, in buffy's body, beating her own face bloody, in tears, "you're digusting," she screams at her own face. "you're nothing."

and promptly runs off to LA to try to get herself killed.

god, the whole arc is just brutal and devastating and gorgeous. even faith's ultimate decision to turn herself in and go to prison is rooted in what she imagines buffy would want.

faith's arc of how can i make buffy like me -> how can i make buffy hate me -> how can i make buffy kill me -> how can i make buffy pay for not killing me -> how can she ever forgive me -> how can i help her is SO good. i wish we'd had so much more faith in s7. the parts we get are tantalizing but i could have done with an entire season of weird divorced reconciliation vibes and pining. alas.

#replies #stagrunner

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pyreo · 6 months

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On September 22nd, 2004, the first episode of Lost aired. It went on to have six seasons, 121 episodes, attained critical acclaim and caused mass confusion and disappointment.

I've taught writing classes and I often reference Lost as an example of how easy it is to sound interesting. Lost pulled viewers in with multiple promises that, as time went on, it struggled to satisfy. Creating mystery is, actually, a really easy thing to write. But you're making a promise to your audience, and it needs to be upheld later.

One thing that's remained fascinating to me about Lost's production is how the style morphed through its lifespan. The premise was simple enough to grab you in an instant - plane crashes on island. Dozens survive. How will they get home? The renowned masterstroke of the pitch was that the drama didn't begin and end on the island - each episode had a self-contained plot augmented by flashbacks to reveal more about the survivor of the week. The drama was magnetic, easy to hop into, and didn't need to promise eventual payoff as much as it enjoyed portraying human backstories of betrayal, mistakes, and foul play.

But Lost was expensive, and it needed to do well, and executive meddling took hold in a way that turned episodic drama into more of a scripted reality show.

Reactions to the episodes were closely followed. Characters that were popular became more central to the plot, and disliked characters were killed off (as, well, they were stuck on an island and couldn't just move to another city). Entertainment Weekly quoted creator Damon Lindelof:

Lindelof acknowledges that they are ''universally despised'' by fans, that's going to change, he vows: ''We had a plan when we introduced them, and we didn't get to fully execute that plan."

Their writing was reactive, engaging viewers as a two-way street - if you like them, we'll give you more. The more you hate someone, the more tragic their death. The intent of the writers became secondary to the whims of consumer ratings. It wasn't so much a scripted story as a survival show, not against the harsh wilderness of the island, but against the viewers themselves.

This method extended to the overall thesis behind the famous mysteries. As people became invested, they wanted to know answers to all the active questions being raised. Why did the survivors see random animals that nobody else noticed? Why did the same sequence of numbers keep coming up? How were Locke's disability and Rose's cancer seemingly cured? To keep everyone hooked with narrative twists, the island was not undiscovered - it was in fact a former research base from the 1970s, with old, decrepit research stations. And then, the island is not even uninhabited, and the survivors contend with being preyed on by unseen natives, and then they find a pillar of black smoke roams the island, murdering anyone it encounters. The viewers loved it and demanded more, but at the end of the day, they wanted to know why, and Lost began positing pseudoscience at random to try and explain what was happening.

The eventual writing morph took place when it became clear to the showrunners that the people demanded their 'why's, and the science fiction angle could not support everything they had set up. Seasons 1 & 2 invoke a lot of sci-fi elements - research stations, animal testing, number sequences, codes scrawled on walls, hatches and ruins hiding human activity, all of which raised expectations that the final explanation for it all would be tangible. Suddenly, everything would make sense.

By season 5, everyone was time travelling. Deep below the island sat a magical wheel that teleported the entire landmass when turned. Daniel Faraday is an outright psychic. An unaging man is revealed to have been on the island since the 1860s. All while couching the revelations in science fiction technicalities to keep up the pretense - ie, the plot revolving around a hydrogen bomb, or the psychic being named Daniel Faraday.

In season 6, the writers were forced to make a decision on how to resolve their convoluted, multi-timeline narrative, and the answer was: religion. Suddenly the sci-fi veil fell and the reasoning became completely Biblical. The smoke monster wasn't a terror beast at all; it was Some Guy. We see the literal manifestations of Good and Evil as Some Guys, fighting for control of the island since time immemorial. The core conflict was never human research, as implied throughout, but the unknowable forces of heaven meddling with human existence, including direct references to the Book of Exodus. The famous series finale shows the entire cast finding each other one last time in a church and accepting the end of their roles in the narrative.

And people were confused. They had been promised something else. It's so interesting to watch the tug-of-war between scientific teases and the final, outright admission that what they wrote was not scienfitic in the least. In some ways the marriage of unspoken reasoning with the supernatural is elegant. A station called The Lamp Post used a large Foucault pendulum and a board of ever-changing coordinates to imply the island's location could be divined by esoteric logic, but logic nonetheless. The swinging, ever-moving pendulum implied mysticism; unfathomable mathematics rooted in the earth itself. But the Lamp Post is a reference to The Chronicles of Narnia, a Christian-allegory fantasy story, and the island's location is controlled by a Magic Wheel. It's compelling, it looks dynamic, and it deftly obfuscates that there's no actual science involved at all.

youtube

The original question, 'How can they get home', is by this point obliterated, subsumed by the need to submerge everyone in Island Lore. They couldn't ever get home. The island itself is unfixed in reality. This clashed with earlier implications that the island was simply a dark spot of communications and water currents that resisted discovery, but what does that matter?

One of the earliest mysteries, The Hatch, was an underground station with a computer, into which a number sequence had to be input every 108 minutes to reset a timer. This created a problem of faith that revealed much about the characters - should they repeatedly reset the timer on nothing but the belief something will happen? Or let it run out, out of denial or curiosity? It turned out the timer displays hieroglyphs for some reason when it ran out, and then it caused a giant electromagnetism burst which is discovered to have happened on the day the plane crashed - a concrete answer. The plane was in fact broken apart in the air by electromagnetism from failure to reset The Hatch, caused when Desmond failed to input the numbers after three continuous years of doing so.

But then in season 6 it becomes not an accident at all - the crash was intentional, as the plane's survivors were 'candidates' brough to the island by God to unknowingly apply for stewardship of it. And also the Hatch exploding gives Desmond psychic powers. The original philosophical conundrum served drama between the characters and nothing else, and the entire concept gets retroactively lassoed into the new Battle Between Good And Evil angle.

My enduring perception of Lost's popularity was that at the beginning, everyone was hooked on the possibilities for what was going on - the recurring number sequence, the discovery of strange testing stations, what was the monster, what was the island, really - and then the eventual mass disappointment as the final season wrapped its character arcs in a perfectly acceptable way by having them reach spiritual peace. It made sense, honestly, it was structurally sound - but it wasn't what the fans had been been theorising together for six years. And, like when characters were killed off in quick response to negative reception... why should the audience not expect to be catered to in the way they'd been led to expect?

There's a tumblr post from 2011 I think summed it up best:

We were shown miracles and then hatches; ghosts, then scientists. Season 5 went totally balls out sci-fi and seemed to point to “Science” as the ultimate winner. Then season 6 came, and the question was put to rest. Faith won, and science L O S T. I guess this disappointed and surprised some people, even though they had spent 6 years watching “The Magic Island Show.”

#lost #Youtube

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theantlercouncil · 1 year

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I think there’s something so tragic about that scene between Crystal and Misty, having just finished ‘Two Truths and a Lie’. Crystal—one of the smaller girls; a JV girl; othered in a way similar to how Misty had been prior to the wilderness. Just by her existence alone—Nuha was introduced for season two because her character was not there in season one—I already sort of knew not to hold out much hope for her. But the scene between her and Misty while they’re at the cliff felt so sad.

Her real name is Kristen, not Crystal. Someone getting your name wrong is one thing, but having your entire team mistake your name only to build a nickname on top of it? Oh, I fully get it. I wasn’t a popular kid growing up. I went with people’s chosen nicknames for me because they were given to me by popular kids. Being known as “Crystal the Pistol” was definitely a source of pride, otherwise she wouldn’t have let it lie for so long. She was afraid that if she told them the truth, they wouldn’t like her as much.

Here Misty is, her bestie, the girl she was literally sharing secrets too vulnerable for anyone else to know. I think of Sammy Hanratty discussing a younger, maybe middle school aged Misty in an interview and how she would respond to social situations. Misty found a best friend, a confidant, in Crystal. She’d just admitted the soul-deep secret of choosing to live a lie for the sake of being accepted, so surely she’d accept her too, right? So she shares her own secret, shared under the pretense of a secret handshake. A secret with the definite potential to crash a plane.

And you can see the moment in Crystal’s eyes when her view of Misty changes, and I think Misty can tell, too, because she tries so desperately to convince Crystal that she was lying. When that doesn’t work she tries to bargain and it’s not even about trying to salvage her friendship anymore, it’s about keeping her position and gained respectability among the team.

Whatever I might have thought about Crystal as a character, I knew she wouldn’t stand a chance against Misty because we as an audience know what she’s capable of. I give her respect for standing up to Misty. Laura Lee and Jackie may have been victims of Misty’s psychopathy in the long run, but Kristen—Crystal the Pistol—was the first to meet her end as a direct threat from it.

#yellowjackets spoilers #yellowjackets #two truths and a lie #misty quigley #crystal yellowjackets

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missyourflight · 4 months

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some stuff i read and watched in december:

the buccanneers: never really hit the heights i wanted it to and most of the cast was not great! but kristine froseth is always watchable and kate winslet's daughter is darling, most importantly scotland doubling for cornwall was beaut. as ever god bless apple for spending money on nonsense

slow horses (s3): i don't know when river cartwright became my shit friend i'm unreasonably fond of but here we are! jack lowden v funny this season and i don't think it's just because i've decided he should be lymond in the billion dollar apple tv series that isn't happening and probably shouldn't bc who else is even blonde (harris dickinson?? i haven't seen the iron claw yet)

monarch: legacy of monsters: i started this and then due to my bad personality decided i had to watch all of the ~monsterverse for context, therefore godzilla december. strong threesome energy in the flashbacks, can't argue with wyatt and kurt russell playing the same character decades apart etc, love a disaster lesbian in crisis etc

~monsterverse interlude: most of these were silly, godzilla: king of the monsters was actively bad, godzilla vs. kong somehow my favourite due to the askars/rebecca hall (long beloved) combo plus all the neon. hollow earth let's go baby!

tokyo godfathers: loved this! love miracles in the city during the holiday season, love to listen to three different podcasts talking about the nuances of trans rep in subtitle translation etc

godzilla minus one: godzilla december! this one made me cryyy, the godzilla theme goes so unbelievably hard, cutest sweetest baby in the world, was incredibly happy to be emotionally manipulated by the endings etc

not going to get into all the christmas film rewatches but: coward's edit of the family stone (repeat the sounding joy!), crying at both little women 94 and little women 19 as per, moonstruck forever, bridget jones' diary colin firth the most sexually appealing colin firth 2 me etc

the wind rises: catching up with miyazaki before the boy and the heron and straight into my ghibli top 3, the love story stuff absolutely floored me

how to have sex: absolutely devastating god

the boy and the heron: very weird and beautiful and sad - saw the dub (robert pattinson you wonderful freak), seeing again with subs this week

jon krakauer, into thin air: a personal account of the everest disaster: i got about halfway through the first chapter and had to stop and ask my dad what the hell he was up to trekking to base camp on his own in the seventies. gripping, chilling, tragic

rose lerner, sailor's delight: rose lerner one of my favourite romance authors (true pretenses i love you forever etc), m/m age of sail romance set around the jewish high holidays with SO much longing and yearning my god

lizzie huxley-jones, make you mine this christmas: fun christmas romance - fake dating but she falls in love with the guy's sister! - that made me burst into tears like five pages in for reasons entirely unrelated to romance or christmas. a 2024 project for soph etc

barbra streisand, my name is barbra: did the audio version so even sped up i reckon i spent at least a full day and a half with barbra. as ever the parts about making things and artistic choices were the best parts, i respect her energy re: including every nice letter or compliment she ever received (my version of this would be reproducing nice ao3 comments etc). wild to me that she spent like 3 decades beefing with larry kramer trying to adapt the normal heart (with bradley cooper at one point lol) but i have to disagree with her impulse to tone down the gay sex to avoid alienating straight people!!

i am not here really but i was proud i managed to keep these little roundups going through the year so. happy new year friends

#monthly media #sophposting

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dragonmuse · 2 years

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(AsIsHerRight requested Lucius and Charlie hanging out when things were lower stakes, then in I Wanna Sink to the Bottom With You. Charlie is 17 here.)

“Stede!” Lucius called from the front hall, keys jingling.

“He’s not here!” Charlie called back from the couch. He was sprawled there, book on his stomach and dozing off.

“Of course he’s not,” Lucius sighed, stepping into the living room. He was holding dry cleaning, shiny in its bags. “They left you here?”

“I didn’t want to go shopping,” Charlie shrugged. “Want me to take that up to their room?”

“Yeah, thanks. Just hang it on the back of Stede’s closet door. They can sort it out when we get back.”

Charlie got up and took the hangers from him and did just that. When he got back downstairs, Lucius was still standing there, texting with a slight furrow to his brow.

“My date is ditching me for work,” Lucius glanced up. “You know, you might like this gallery show. It’s seasonal.”

“Spooky?” Charlie guessed.

“Probably. The collection is called The Body Exploded.”

“Sold. When?”

“If you can be changed in the next ten minutes, we can get dinner and go. I’ll tell them that I’m borrowing you.”

“Awesome! ….what do I need to change into?”

“Anything that’s not your superhero underoos,” Lucius eyed his current attire. The t-shirt had seen better days and was about three sizes too big with a faded Spiderman leaping across it. His boxers matched.

“Buzzkill,” Charlie sniffed, but went into his room to change. Not wanting to make Lucius regret the offer, he put on slacks and the only shirt he had here that didn’t have a logo on it. It was a light blue collarless t-shirt and a little tighter than he remembered. Probably fine.

“Good?” He stepped back out. Lucius glanced up, the. Back down at his phone. Paused. Then slowly looked back up again.

“Where did that body come from?” He cocked his head to the side.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re ripped. Shredded. What other destructive word is there for muscles?” Lucius hit send and shoved his phone in his pocket.

“Oh, it’s all from cross training,” Charlie shrugged. “I can’t get too bulky, but I do some lifting. Mostly squats and running though.”

“Ugh the gym,” Lucius wrinkled his nose. “Well it’s working. You look fine, let’s go.”

“Where are we eating?”

“With you? There’s an Italian place that basically gives you a bucket of pasta and the meatballs are the size of my fist.”

“Hell yeah,” he said happily. “Who ratted me out?”

“Eddy was impressed by your annihilation of all their leftovers.”

“I’m just keeping things neat. Their fridge is a nightmare lab.”

“I know. I’ve seen it. Good job taking the potential botulism on the chin. Let’s go, we want to get to the restaurant in time for happy hour.”

“You’re drinking while taking care of a minor?” Charlie tsked. “Bad role modeling for impressionable minds.”

“If I don’t get a drink in me, I will be a way worse role model. It has been too long a week and it’s only Tuesday.”

“So it was Izzy that ditched you?” He held the door for Lucius.

“I-yeah. You know my schedule?” Lucius asked suspiciously.

“It’s not like that part is hard. You guys have done Tuesday date nights the entire time I’ve known you,” Charlie scoffed.

“I will bet you a hundred dollars that Stede doesn’t know that.”

“Wow, yeah, I think that says more about Dad than it does about me.”

“Why can’t it be both?” Lucius glanced at him. “Can I ask how college applications are going or is that a no go?”

“Oh, uh. I got in already,” he said to his shoes.

“How? It’s October.”

“Yeah, it’s the whole swimming thing.”

“Explain,” Lucius demanded. “Also we’re going to take the subway, you’ve got the app, right?”

“Of course I do, how do you think I get around?”

“Figured you went web slinging.”

“Spiderman is awesome, you can’t shame me about it.”

“I’m married to a comics nerd, so it’s really only a light bit of pretension,” Lucius informed him. “So. College?”

“Schools have to recruit for swim early cause of how our seasons fall out. I got some offers and then it was just choosing.”

“Offers? As in more than one?”

“Uh, maybe,” Charlie mumbled.

“How many?”

“...four.”

“Four?!” Lucius slapped him lightly on the bicep. “I thought I was impressive for getting $500 a semester to cover books. How good were the offers?”

“Full rides?” he said sheepishly.

“Congratulations, I think I might actually expire out of retroactive jealousy,” Lucius decided. “Not that you don’t deserve it, but fuck, that’s a lot. So you chose already?

“Yeah,” Charlie warmed to that part of the topic. “I did a few weekend campus visits last month, met coaches and some of the teams.”

“And?”

“And it made me realize that I wanted someone who would get me to the next level without taking years off my life. Most of the coaches just brag about how hard they work everyone and then numbers. There was only one guy that talked about regimes and break times, and how low injuries were. I was into that.”

“I’ll bet, so where are you headed?”

They trooped down the stairs to the subway station, the familiar rush of hellish noise and smells rushing to meet Charlie. He was almost fond of it by now.

“Southern State.”

“But...that’s a plane ride,” Lucius frowned. “Not even a super short one.”

“Yeah,” Charlie shrugged. “None of them were close. And I like the idea of it being warm year round.”

“Gotta follow your heart,” Lucius looked away, "but we’ll miss you.”

“I’m barely here anyway,” Charlie protested. “And I’ll come around for holidays and stuff.”

“Not the same,” Lucius put on an old lady voice. “Our babies! All grown up! Sunrise, sunset!”

“Shut up,” he laughed. “You’ll all live just fine without me.”

“Debatable, but fine, go spread your wings or whatever.”

“You went to college, right?” Charlie checked. “For fine arts?”

“Uh huh. Learned how to hold a pencil and everything.”

“Any tips?”

Lucius came to stop on the platform. He stared down at the tracks, biting his lip then said, “Put some energy into making friends and keeping them. It won’t just happen on its own.”

Charlie didn’t say that he’d figured that out. Because he was still pretty fucking bad at it.

“So...you didn’t like it much?”

“Yeah, no, I won’t lie to you,” Lucius sighed. “I’m glad I stuck it out and I did make good contacts, yada yada yada. I mean, that’s who’s show we’re seeing tonight. One of my college buddies curates this edgy kind of gallery and they put the show together.”

“But...”

“But I never figured out how to connect,” he said distantly. “It’s kind of funny now. Like I’m living in a suite with a bunch of dudes, working in a bar, and acting like an asshole on stage. Sort of went in reverse, but better.”

“I don’t know how college it is to be married to one of the ‘dudes’,” Charlie pointed out.

“Upgraded experience. Anyway, point is: no, I’m not your college tips guy. Don’t ask Roach either. He doesn’t like to talk about it.”

“Noted,” Charlie grimaced. “I’ll ask Buttons.”

“Buttons?” Lucius frowned. “Why?”

The train rolled in and they lost a minute getting on. They both laid hands on a pole.

“Buttons has a Ph.D.” Charlie reminded him as the train finally pulled away.

“He does?” Lucius swung around the pole to face him. “Stop...no. Really?”

“Uh, really?” Charlie raised his eyebrows. “How do you not know that? You know everything!”

“I’m not omniscient and I didn’t know because he never said. In what?”

“Philosophy.”

“That makes more sense,” Lucius allowed. “But he was definitely on the carnival route for a while.”

“Yeah, he won’t tell me how that happened. He says it’s a story that belongs to the sky,” Charlie admitted. “And only after I asked him a bunch of times.”

“I wonder if Pete knows? Hold on, fact checking.”

“I’m a reliable source!”

“Remind how long it’s been since we had to debase you of the notion that you couldn't put hand soap in the dishwasher?”

“Hey! That as a perfectly reasonable-”

Lucius held up a hand in his face and Charlie considered it for a second then did the only thing little brotherhood had trained him for.

“Fucking gross!” Lucius groaned and rubbed his licked palm over Charlie’s shoulder, who snickered.

“Better than Alma, she almost broke my nose over that.”

“As she well should. I’m voting for her rights on that, you’re disgusting,” Lucius determined. “I was right, being an only child is the only way to go.”

“Hey, it was this or not being born, so.” Charlie considered that. “I guess I wouldn’t know if it didn’t happen.”

“Great, you have an existential crisis, slime boy, give me a sec.”

Lucius texted, waited then frowned, typing quickly again. “Well then.”

“Ha! In your FACE!”

“On my hand, actually. I need to boil my flesh now.”

“I’m clean. Ish. I mean I brushed my teeth since the last time I put my mouth somewhere questionable.”

“When did you-”Lucius started, caught the look in Charlie’s eye, then stopped dead. “No. Nope. We are not having fun hook up gossip. It’s too fucking weird and you’re a child.”

“I’m almost 18.”

“Not almost enough,” Lucius grimaced. “I’m too young to be a dirty old man.”

“What age makes someone a dirty old man?” Charlie asked merrily. “Cause you hang out with a looooot of old guys. Maybe you’ve become one by injection?”

“Fuck. Off. You. Asshole.” Lucius groaned. “Why did I want to take you again?”

“Cause you got ditched and I was five feet away? Be more proactive next time.”

“A pox on me,” Lucius agreed, but he was kind of smiling, so Charlie figured it was fine.

The Italian place really did have enormous portions. When Charlie scraped the bottom of his plate and sucked down the last noodle, Lucius golf-clapped.

“Truly horrendous. Amazing. Dessert?”

“Yeah, absolutely. I need coffee and cannolis.”

“I was...joking, but okay,” Lucius said gamely. “I like cannolis. I’m getting my own, I’m not interested in losing a finger.”

“I haven’t mauled anyway recently,” Charlie leaned back in his chair, pleased. “So how many of my selections have wound up on your shelves recently?”

“Very few,” Lucius admitted. “Izzy knows my tolerance levels and apparently you’ve been on a body horror kick. I liked that one though...Weaveworld?”

“Clive Barker,” Charlie said appreciatively. “I thought you might.”

“You had me at Nimrod”

They lapsed into book talk, an easy meandering around the few titles they had in common as they polished off the cannolis and Charlie drank two cups of coffee.

“You won’t fall asleep.”

“Good,” Charlie sighed. “I’m sleepy by ten, how is that gonna fly in college?”

“Life finds a way,” Lucius said wryly, taking out his wallet. Only to find Charlie already holding the billfold out to the waiter. “Charlie, no.”

“What? You asked, I’m paying. Who cares?”

“Charlie-”

“Trust fund. Full ride. Spoiled brat. Plus side for you: I pay.”

“You’re not spoiled.”

“Say I’m not a brat with a straight face.”

“I don’t lie to children.”

“Maybe you should start,” Charlie smiled at the waiter as they took the check. “Thanks!”

“You’re welcome,” the waiter stalled out for a second.

“Seventeen,” Lucius said flatly.

“Have a good evening!” The waiter’s eyes went wide and he took off toward the register.

“I do actually need my debit card back,” Charlie laughed.

“I’ll get it, menace.”

The gallery wasn’t far from there, a nice space, with big white walls. Currently covered in fever dream of gore.

“Oh this is awesome,” Charlie said reverently, stepping closer to a painting of a ribcage.

“It’s definitely inspiring awe. Like the old school, fear of the lord kind,” Lucius muttered, but he didn’t rush Charlie along, or snap at him for skipping ahead and rotating back. He let him do his thing while he paused at his own interests.

“Come see this one,” Charlie circled back around him, tugging once at his sleeve like he really was an eager little kid. “It’s a knockout.”

“Mm, if you say so,” Lucius followed after him.

He took him to a large canvas at the back. The artist had sketched out an anatomical heart with felted yarn in shades of blue and green, laced through with yellow veins. Tucked into the weave of yarn were coins, buttons and some safety pins.

“Fountain Wishes,” Charlie pointed to the plaque.

“Huh,” Lucius took a step back. “That’s...huh.”

“Right?” Charlie grinned. “Like I know it’s not the most profound thing ever, but I dunno. I think it’s something.”

“I like it better than the rest of this. Blood for the sake of blood never does it for me, but...yeah. I like this. It’s a little...dreamy.”

“I think it’s kind of sad,” Charlie offered. “Like those wishes don’t come true. Wishes just don’t.”

“Don’t know about that. But...maybe not the kind of things people ask for on coins most of the time.”

“We’re asking too much of our hearts,” Charlie concluded.

“Or not enough,” Lucius countered.

Either way, they stood there for another minute or so, before Charlie was off to the next thing. When he turned around though, Lucius was still there, but no longer looking at the art. He was watching Charlie, brow furrowed. Like he was trying to solve a puzzle.

He shrugged it off. He was used to adults tracking his movements. He wasn’t going anywhere. At least not tonight.

Lucius: Returning your offspring shortly.

Stede: Thank you for taking him out. Did you both enjoy the show?

Lucius: Yes. Him more than me. Did you see the dry cleaning?

Stede: The blue dress is missing.

Lucius: It’s at the bar, you said you’d use it this Friday, figured it would be easier.

Stede: You’re right. Thank you.

Lucius: Charlie told me where he’s going to school. Are you okay with it?

Stede: He picked a place? He told me he was still considering it! Mary too as far as I know.

Lucius: oops.

Stede: I won’t tell him you slipped. Where did he choose?

Lucius: Forgot already! You’ll have to ask him.

Stede: Fine. I wonder why he told you first?

Lucius: Don’t know. Just asked?

Stede: I'll do that then. I was trying to give him some space.

Lucius: sure. Subway now. See you in ten.

#leda house and the kraken verse #lucius black #charlie bonnet

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 1 year

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what's up kids it's that time again already

because I am extremely ready to be done with season 4 !!!

Gotham 4x17

something wild I've just realized is that at this point there are only 18 episodes left of the entire show, since season 5 was retooled into a half season that only got 12 eps and had to cut several ideas and characters including, among other things, the presence of Man-Bat. that's odd partly because I've spent something like nine months chipping away at Gotham at this point, and it's very strange to imagine my life now without any more Gotham to liveblog. it's also strange because this is no way feels like a story that's nearing any kind of conclusion, and I have to assume that when it inevitably comes the end will be as abrupt, brutal, and messy as every other aspect of Gotham up until that point.

anyway let's see what fresh hell is in store for us this time

god we've really abandoned all pretenses here Bruce is Batmanning on every level except for actually wearing a bat cowl

Oswald looking UNBELIEVABLY cunty atm I'm OBSESSED

bitch!!!

it would have been so cool if Bridgit had literally any kind of consistent personality or motivation but alas it is not that kind of show

a cool thing about the show never technically letting Cameron Monaghan's character be referred to as the Joker is that I don't technically have to like the Joker! and that's a huge relief because I do in fact like Jerome very much

oh my god they stumbled into an interesting Riddler moment again. this rules. like realistically this is about as good as guy whose whole gimmick is riddles could probably do for himself.

Lee got rid of her shitty bangs AND has acquired some sparkly fingerless fishnet gloves I love this for her

oh boy Jerome in a dog cage better not be a writer's poorly disguised fetish

I am once again asking what the point of making him Solomon Grundy was it lasted like ??? six episodes ??? people come back from the dead on this show all the time it didn't have to be a Thing

the thing is that if I didn't already know what the reveal is going to be (there's a second Valeska and Cameron Monaghan is going to play his own twin) I would simply have to assume they were going an incredibly bold gay Joker route and having Jerome hunt down his ex boyfriend

hey this is unhinged. like there have been a Lot of stupid storylines in this show but this genuinely so dumb and SO unnecessary

they want me to believe he stapled a live barracuda to someone's face as if the Riddler could possibly control a noble barracuda

there are just so many men in this city that Lee should be permitted to dismember with her bare hands

oooh baby Orphan Black this is not they are STRAINING to keep from having to show two Cameron Monaghan's at the same time. this is so disjointed

Hatter and Scarecrow getting sent to kill Jim and Harvey but immediately giving up because Harvey uuuuh screamed and ran right at them is ??? lmao??? you are so bad at your jobs hit him with some fear toxin or something?

also exactly no one on this show seems willing to actually run like their life is on the line which is really creating a very weird ambience. Mad Hatter and Scarecrow are doing the white person half-jog across the intersection while being chased with a gun

anyway Jerome just gave his brother a little smooch on the head but I don't think I'm insane for saying it seems like he wants to put his entire tongue in his twin's mouth. and that is hands down like the most normal thing going on in this episode.

RESPECT FOR LEE THOMPKINS: LOST !!!!!!!!!

#gotham time

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chocoblep · 8 months

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#2: Driven By Duty, Bound By Oath

“Do you think Mother would be looking down on us right now with a smile?”

The two Viera women who sat side-by-side in the topmost branches of the trees that towered over their village looked quite similar: Both had green hair in trailing braids and gold eyes. Both were somewhat pale-skinned, for Rava. Their markings were different colors and shapes, but the angles of their faces were the same. If one did not know them, they might assume them twins, despite them being a decade and a half apart in age.

“I think so,” the younger of the two said, smiling up at the winking stars. The moons hung placidly against the dark backdrop, casting a serene white light upon them. “You and I have finally set aside our differences. She got to meet many of her grandchildren. I even had one.” The smirk the younger Viera gave had the older laughing. “Granted, the means were unconventional…”

“Our Schala, ever roaming. It was only a matter of time before one got a hold of you. You are lucky you are still alive.”

“Shjr!” The younger Viera hissed the name, as if doing so might force the other into silence.

“What? I’m sure Xjnn is lovely if you keep going back to him.” Shjr smirked, but after a moment there was a wistful sigh. “What is it like, traveling by yourself? Meeting a Warder? Falling in love?”

“It is not like that,” Schala said softly. “He nearly killed me when we met. If I had not saved his mentor he might have. He is strong. Only one of two Warders that have bested me in single combat.”

“Oh? Who is the other?” Shjr asked, leaning in toward Schala with a look of intense interest. “Do you often fight Warders?”

“Ah–his name is Campion. A soul that never should have been thrust into a solitary life.” Schala smiled fondly. “He craves connection. I am welcome in his territory, but I have not been there in quite some time. Every time I visit him, though, we will have a contest. Sometimes it is racing through the trees. Sometimes it is a spar. I should visit him again.”

“And what of Xjnn? Why choose him to sire your children?”

Schala rubbed at her arm. “He is strong. Vicious. But he made a mistake. He does not come to the village because he is bound to his territory in ways that prevent him from leaving. I think he would die if he crossed the boundary.”

Shjr’s face contorted into a look of sympathy. “I have heard stories of ancient ruins–holy places–that bind their guardians to them.”

“It is something like that, yes,” Schala replied, and then smiled. “I started passing him information a long time ago; the usual things, like the state of the village, how many jacks had emerged in the season, where they were training. He wanted an apprentice after his mentor died, but he could not come back to claim one.”

“Ah, so that is why you attempted to sneak one of the jacks out of the village some time ago.”

“We must defend our home,” Schala replied. “I thought that, as Mother wished for grandchildren from me, and Xjnn needed a jack to train, I might be able to…”

“Bear him a child that you could take to him without being questioned.”

“Yes. That I would know before any others, and could bring him to Xjnn under the pretense of taking him hunting with me. If a Warder took him while we were gone, well… that would not be entirely frowned upon, as he would need to leave anyway.” There was a frown on Schala’s face. “But then Mjste turned out to be a doe.”

“Will you have another, then?” Shjr asked. “I think it’s admirable that your dedication to seeing the Wood protected extends this far. I had thought you did not care.”

A scoff met Shjr’s admission, and Schala leaned over just a bit to touch her shoulder to her sister’s. “I may be unsuited to village life, but that does not mean I care about our home any less. If anything, I have grown to appreciate it more.” She paused, then, a thoughtful look on her face. “I will have more, until he is provided with an apprentice.”

Shjr smiled, bringing her arm around Schala’s shoulders and looking up at the moons. “Then I will help you sneak him out when it is time… unless you have all does, in which case we will have to find an alternate path.”

We? “You are willing to help me?” Schala couldn’t help the note of surprise in her voice.

“Yes,” Shjr answered. “But are you sure you wish to give him his own child?”

“I will not participate in the village’s spring rituals. He and I have reached an understanding. To withstand the dangers of his territory, the jack must be strong. He wants me to be the child’s mother, and he is stronger than most I have met. He and I together will produce stronger offspring.”

“And I am sure love has nothing to do with it,” Shjr teased, giving Schala a squeeze. The younger sister felt her cheeks burn.

“No. If love is involved, it is a love for our home; it is not our way to love Warders.” The words were almost sullen, and Schala picked at a leaf near her thigh. “And it would have been a different Warder, anyway.”

“Schala…” Shjr sighed. She sounded like their mother, disappointed.

“I said that it is not our way.”

“I know. But the heart does not listen to the head.” Shjr paused, and then slipped her arm from around her sister’s shoulders. “Make me a promise. Promise me that you will not run away with a Warder. Promise me that you will not upset the balance of the Wood, and sentence yourself to death.”

“I…” Schala let her feet move a bit as they dangled, finally sighing. “I have already upset the balance by seeing them in the first place. But… I promise. I will not stop my visits, but nor will I grow close enough to any of them to let that temptation in.”

Shjr ducked below the canopy, reaching up to tug on Schala’s ankle in a motion meant to urge her to follow. Schala did so, and they stopped midway down the tree. Shjr pulled out her knife and pried up a small section of bark from the trunk of the massive tree, leaving the smooth surface beneath it bare. Then she carved a symbol there before turning the knife on her own hand. A small slit, a welling of blood, and she pressed it to the symbol.

“A blood oath,” Schala breathed.

“One I promise to you and the Wood. I will help you secure the future of the Wood with your Warder.” Shjr pulled her hand away and pulled her sash from her waist, wrapping it around her palm. Then she wiped her knife on the trailing end of the cloth and handed it to Schala.

Schala hesitated. She didn’t know why, but her heartbeat sped and something inside her shifted, as if feeling keenly the loss that she was about to inflict upon herself. Steeling her resolve, she drew the knife along her palm and pressed her own hand to the sigil.

“For as long as I am part of the Wood, I will not upset its balance by getting too close to a Warder,” she recited, and then took her own sash and wrapped her palm tightly. She thought of Campion and their friendly contests of skill. She thought of Xjnn and the duty she’d promised to fulfill to secure the future of his territory.

And she thought of the love of family, and her love for the Wood.

#FFwrite2023 #Final Fantasy XIV #FFXIV #Shieke Hyskaris #Prompt 2 #Bark

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pocket-prosecutor · 2 years

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Another Wereshifter Miles AU Masterpost because I hate inconsistencies and I want them cleared up >:(

Old masterpost here

The original concept remains the same: Edgeworth shrinks when the sun goes down, which is a strict "rule". This also takes the changes in sunset/rise times over the course of the seasons into account.

He could also cheat his way out of it by spending the summer in Finland.

As an adult, Miles shrinks down to 20 cm/8 inch.

When and how and stuff:

So in the old masterpost I said the condition started because of a strong stress-response (think of it as a Flight-Response from all the trauma, anxiety, and panic attacks).

But having this condition be an inherent trait that started earlier at around, say, age 5 or 6, is equally if not more fun. I will (hopefully) make a post just for this but in short:

Somewhere around the age of 6, Miles's wereshifting condition manifests. One evening he feels...kind of bad? His entire body tenses and he gets dizzy. Gregory notices and asks if he's okay when suddenly he sees his son shrink in front of his eyes. Eventually Miles stops shrinking when he's around 12.5 cm/5 inch. Of course he grows back when the sun rises, but they both didn't know that the first night.

In the years that follow, Miles and his father figure out how to deal with this condition through trial and error.

Who knows?

I'm keeping what I initially said about this.

Franziska knows, she found out rather quick after Miles moved into the MvK household. Before Miles started his career as prosecutor, Franziska was a safe place for him to go to when shrinking got too overwhelming.

M. von Karma knows, but Miles doesn't know that. He could use it against Miles later, if ever necessary. Keeping up the pretense works out better for him and his over-planned scheme for case 1-4.

Additionally, Phoenix knows, but only kinda sorta? Gregory told him when he was still a child, on the day before the Christmas holidays (after talking it through with Miles). He simply wanted Miles to have a friend he can trust (and for sleepovers!). Phoenix is 9. Gregory is an adult. Obviously he's telling the truth.

Edit: this initially explained that Phoenix didn't see Miles shrink when they were kids but I retconned it lol. He got to visit Miles once before DL-6 happened. Miles however doesn't recall that day very well since he suppressed most of his childhood memories. Phoenix has to remind him of both the class trial and the day he hang out with Miles after he shrunk down.

Case 1-4:

Ahh, uh. So Miles can't actually murder anyone at night, nor could he have been on that boat. Working around this is manageable. Von Karma anticipates that Miles would respond to the letter anyway, he would just hide somewhere to check it out. Besides, getting a stand-in for Miles for getting a regular sized person on the photograph is not that hard probably? And surely he has a way of getting Miles's fingerprints on the gun.

Keeping his condition secret while behind bars is hard but he manages, as long as no one checks on his cell at night.

However, the trial lasts 3 days, and that 3rd day really matters... Going off-canon a bit and let's say the trial lasts just a bit too long? It is winter after all, the days are shorter. Surely Phoenix keeps an eye out for Miles? (i will probably/hopefully make a separate post for this)

Some other tidbits:

Miles buys a large dollhouse when he moves out of the MvK household

He doesn't always sleep in the dollhouse, only if he's sure the nights are long enough so that he won't grow back and damage said dollhouse.

He uses the dollhouse mainly for the accessories that come with it. Tiny chairs, cutlery, etc. And standing around these items makes him feel at ease now and then

Additionally, he gets custom-made "doll" clothes that fit his size (he had to measure himself using measuring tape when tiny, it was quite an ordeal)

In important spots of the house (kitchen counter, bed, couch) he has small ladders set up (he had to overcome his acrophobia for this). Miles (and Gregory back in the day) often refers to them as aids.

If he cannot make it home after work, he stays in his office where he has spare clothes (small and regular sized) and one of the dollhouse beds in his top drawer. He had his drawers adapted by someone so that he can open them easily without strain.

Miles hates almost all confrontation with his condition. Even after Phoenix gains his trust he has immense trouble even mentioning it. It's been nothing but a burden and embarrassment to him, especially after DL-6.

#im gonna be real: i also didnt think id work out this AU that far lmao #also am fully aware that the AU doesn't need to fill every plot hole it creates with a coherent explanation #after all fun comes first #but i just like to do that it's in my nature ig #wereshifter miles au #aa gt #aa g/t #g/t #gt #sizeshifter #the most important thing that rly changed is when he gets the wereshifting condition honestly #oh lmao i wanted to address the 1-4 case in more detail but it will get WAY too long so #>:( gdi #man i rly want to get some gregory taking care of his now shrinks-at-night son #how do you even deal with that? man the panic he tries to hide from miles god #also i kept changing his size but i settled i promise 20 cm is the last change i'll make #solely bc my wooden mannquin is 20 cm which is perfect tiny size for this context #4-6 inch is nice but for out-of-your-control shrinking it's kinda Too Tiny #i dont want Miles to be entirely helpless when he's alone

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percivaliumold · 2 years

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Death Saving Throw, chapter 6

-=-=-=-

The days that follow become a blur, an amalgamation of sorrowful looks, pitiful whispers and missed meals. Whitestone sits under heavy guard, but is no longer closed to visitors, traders or residents alike. The castle, however, stays locked down to everyone but the remaining de Rolos and higher level personnel. Any and all questions about the elevated level of security are explained away. Rumors circulate amongst the citizens, of course. Maybe it's another incursion? Perhaps the Council had a coup? None of them fathom the real reasons.

Keyleth manages to arrange for most of the remaining members of Vox Machina’s travel to Whitestone. Their arrivals, via the Sun Tree, teleportation circle or more pedestrian means of travel, are explained away under masked pretenses. They’re visiting ahead of the birth of Percy and Vex’s child, or they’re here to celebrate an anniversary of a memorable battle… but never the truth. The city remains ignorant to Vex's death as they carry on about their late-season preparations.

Grog and Pike take turns helping patrol the castle grounds while simultaneously looking for anything that leads to who or what attacked Vex. The guards insist they have it handled, but the goliath is intimidating and hard to say no to. Pike sticks by his side to keep him out of trouble, but more to keep her mind busy.

Tary doesn’t handle the news well. At all. He can’t bring himself to leave Wildemount, and grieves on his own an entire continent away.

Scanlan spends his time sitting with Keyleth, postulating what may have happened and trying to piece together the moments leading up to Vex’s attack. They take turns scrying on people they suspect may have involvement, either by innate magic or scrying eye, hoping they dig up a clue that would help locate the assailant. At this point, anything helps. But their efforts aren't rewarded... until Keyleth thinks to use Speak with Animals to talk with Trinket.

-=-=-=- Read more on AO3 -=-=-=-

#post critical role campaign 1 #critical role fanfic #critical role fanfiction #perc'ahlia #percy de rolo #ship: perc'ahlia #vex’ahlia #percahlia #cr fanfic #rating: mature #dark af #please for the love of all that is holy read the warnings and tags on ao3

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towhomever · 3 months

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February 7 2024

Been a while huh? 4 years based on my last. Major updates are that I broke up with David by the end of 2020. I think past me told the story better and it was going in that direction. More than anything, I met Pieter online. He was shy, quiet, and sweet. In short, exactly my type. We were online dating for the whole of 2021 then I finally made the decision to call it quits and move to Europe in 2022. I essentially forced my parents to let me go under false pretense that I had acquired a job for a marketing company in Belgium when in reality I had nothing. I met up with Pieter in Madrid on January 20 just to make sure he wasn't a catfish (although we have been video-calling for a year before hand). We stayed at my brother's apartment while we were exploring Madrid in the mornings. Then I flew to Belgium with him and officially started living together on February 8.

It was a rough first year because it was hell to adjust to the weather and seasonal differences. Not to mention all the trauma from my childhood, both by my brother and parents, and from my last year in University were starting to come up.

During my last semester of University the College secretary found out that I was mistakenly credited for a class that I hadn't taken. I asked about that class in the past and they said according to my transcript of records that I had finished that class. They essentially fucked up the classes on my transcript when I shifted from Industrial Engineering to Civil Engineering. I had a breakdown because I was rushing to finish all my classes and my thesis while studying remotely then this happens. I had passed everything except for that class so they managed to make that class available for me that summer because it is usually offered only in the second semester. I took it, had a rough time studying, and eventually passed it.

When it was over, I didn't get a celebration for my graduation. My parents barely cared about it except on Facebook of course where they made a big fuss. They didn't even want to take photos with me around campus. Natalie was the one taking all my pictures for me. Either way, I figured I would be out of there soon enough. Then we got COVID. My dad got sick first and we were all telling him to quarantine himself but the selfish bastard argued that it wasn't COVID and that it was just a normal flu. And as expected, 2 days later, my sister and I showed symptoms. I couldn't smell and my sister couldn't taste. My mom was asymptomatic though. We had the option to either stay at home or go to a quarantine facility. The main benefit of the quarantine facility was that if one of us got more dire then we would have direct access to the hospital. Only my mom was worried for my dad. I genuinely thought we should stay home. Natalie and I pleaded that we stay home on our own but they said we either have to all stay at home or all be in the quarantine facility. So we had to stay in a small room for 10 days straight with my insufferable parents who spent the entire time arguing about trivial matters like my mom's brother not being more compassionate when on call with my dad or how the mother superior nun at the church my mom is obsessed with likes my dad more. They would turn into screaming matches and my mom would even run out into the hallway playing victim to this man she can easily leave and honestly should have left to die of COVID. I would have to damage control and tell my mom to go inside and for my parents to stop arguing because Natalie and I could barely keep our heads. My mom even started yelling at Natalie to get better so we can get out of the quarantine facility and I had to reason with her to stop because that won't make her get any better.

After all this, I told them I was leaving next year. It inevitably turned into this big fight and they were pressuring me to stay but I was set on leaving by this time because my parents were something else. I told my sister I would make something of myself in Europe and that I would get her out of here. I promised her that I would help her and that she can live with me soon.

So fast forward to today. I got a job at ASML in the Netherlands in May of 2022 as a Production Engineer. The Netherlands was more accepting of expats and didn't really need to convert our degrees into a Dutch one because ASML is an international company as well. Luckily Pieter and I lived just across the border in Belgium. This did make it a little complicated in terms of having to get my social security and insurance in the Netherlands and deal with the paperwork for Belgium as well. Either way, it was all worth it because my starting salary was at 2.4k euros monthly with a 6% increase each year for the first 3 years for a fresh-graduate bachelor degree holder. Not to mention we had 13th month pay, holiday bonuses, and 40 vacation days in total and boy was I happy. I never expected to find something like this so soon, and what an opportunity it was compared to the companies in the Philippines that were paying a literal 8th the amount of what I was being paid at best with only 10 days vacation. Point is, life was going well for me.

My parents and Natalie decided to visit Europe in July. They first visited Matthew and Armie in Madrid before coming to Belgium of course. Natalie got into another stupid argument with my parents and started self harming by scratching her arms profusely. She was in a dark place and I remember that place all too well. I was worried for her and I promised to help her get out of there once she was done with Highschool. I tried to help her out with her plans for University here but she's not as confrontational as I am when it comes to my parents. She's fierce but she knows what happens when you hit a dead-end with my dad. There's this terrible power-trip he exhausts on us, and basically when you've proven him wrong and he's losing his stance he threatens to hit us or just plain hits us. In short - he and my mom are fucking physically and emotionally abusive.

My parents and Natalie then came to visit us afterwards and Natalie ran into my arms. I could tell she had a stressful time and was really excited to see me. She, Pieter, and I had the best time. My parents visited mostly to see how I was doing. I was doing really well and so were Pieter and I. I mean Pieter and I definitely had some ironing out to do but one thing I always appreciated of him was the consistency he brought. He was kind, caring, dependable, and everything I ever wanted in a partner. I knew it annoyed them to see how I was now. It annoyed them to see how I was with Pieter and how I was thriving without them. My sister on the other hand was so happy to be around Pieter and I that she would even sleep on our little couch in our tiny apartment instead of the AirBnB my parents rented out a few blocks away.

In August, my parents, Natalie, Pieter and I went to visit Paris and Versailles for the summer. We all then went to Spain to meet up with the rest of the family and Auntie Roenna and Uncle Vince who were also visiting Spain. This definitely put a toll on Pieter and I because he could see how draining my parents were and how controlling they were. They even started telling him what chores to do because Auntie Roenna was "our guest" and we had to cater to her even though we were all supposedly on vacation.

Pieter also found it incredibly exhausting being around my brother, because in the short time that we have spent around him he has tried to cheat on Armie by having coffee and hoping to sleep with this girl named Paula who was part of their friend group. He also claimed that a lot of women were into him and even hurt Pieter's thumb by "teaching" him arnis. He even got in this fight with Armie saying that she doesn't think he's manly enough because he's not tall like Pieter is. This bit we found hilarious though.

When it was finally over and Pieter and I returned to Belgium, I started seeing my therapist Sophie Pollock. The rest of the year was pretty calm after that. The only other big thing was that one of my colleagues was fired and went to prison for punching a guy in the face an effectively blinding him. This colleague of mine was named Bas Vorstenbosch and he was a professional kickboxer as well. When he got out of prison he tried calling me up a few times and was asking to meet up but I declined because he was also borderline racist and misogynistic at the office. My two other colleagues Marc and Jur were also low-key racist and misogynistic but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Fast forward to June of 2023, I and my colleagues when to a week long conference in Wilton, USA to meet the rest of the people running ATT (Automated Torque Tooling). I clicked very well with the people from the Wilton factory and they were very impressed by my the KPI (Key Performance Indicator file) I created from scratch last year. That was originally Marc's project that he told me to "figure out" and when I did, they were all so impressed with it. While they were complimenting my work as I was presenting, Marc and Jur abruptly left. Soon after when I joined them for coffee they started cracking jokes like "Maybe you should run the other factory since you can do everything right?" They were basically edging me out of the competence. They even went so far to say "How about you run the Twinscan Factory and Marc and I will run the EUV factory."

I tried not to think too much about it because I stayed for dinner and drinks with the people at Wilton and they basically revealed how much they hated Marc for his work ethic and how Jur acted like his little puppy following him around everywhere.

All this aside, it was a good conference and very motivating for me. Besides, I didn't have time to think about it because Pieter was flying in to JFK to spend the next 5 days with me on holiday in New York. I even got to meet up with my dad's cousins Uncle Peter and Uncle Joe. Uncle Peter is one of the Executive producers at CNN now and he used to work on Broadway while Uncle Joe is an attorney in New York. They were really impressed with me that I was an engineer and an artist, but Uncle Joe did the classic dad thing where we started comparing his two sons' successes to mine. One was planning to join the military and the other was about to graduate from uni with a Bachelor's in Sports science. He essentially wants to become a coach of either basketball or a football team. I didn't think their career track was too bad but I guess in a parent's eyes their children are always disappointments. Although Uncle Joe was definitely a better father because I could see he loved them. He joked around about them but he still spoke of his love of them. Moreover, he was very liberal and against homophobic and racist people. I found this hilarious because my dad must be everything he hated. No wonder they haven't met up again after all these years.

The main highlight of our New York trip was that we went to see Wicked on Broadway which I had dreamed of watching since Junina introduced it to me when I was 13. I cried during and after the performance of course and Pieter finally understood my obsession with Broadway. Afterwards we flew to Canada to stay with my Auntie Roenna and Uncle Vince (who are also way better parents than my parents because they don't hit their kids nor do they power trip as hard as my dad does). I introduced Pieter to all my cousins and I met all of their partners. Miggy was weird around us, almost like he was obviously intimidated by my success. He asked if I was materialistic out of the blue. He also said he idolizes Matthew, so that was enough of a red flag on it's own. He also sells Jesus merchandise, like T-shirts and stuff. I think Steffi and Raffy are still some of the more chill cousins among all of them, but they had all moved on with their own lives already. Steffi was pregnant with her and Elliot's first child. Michelle was living in Ottawa with Kyle with their baby Hope. The Sta Cruz siblings all had their own partners but still lived at home mostly. Although Miggy did get engaged.

When we returned to Belgium I filed for sick leave at ASML because I was having so many flashback from the last time I was in Canada. Before we went to Canada, I had just gone to the ER for self-harming. I had smashed a glass on my forehead because my mother kept screaming at me for not bringing int he laundry in time. She was yelling that I wanted her dead and that I was so ungrateful of a child for forgetting about the laundry. I also had flashbacks of my childhood and I was feeling anxious about returning to work with Marc and Jur. This is when I started my EMDR therapy sessions to specifically combat the memories regarding the physical and sexual abuse I endured from Matthew during my childhood.

All while this was happening, Pieter and I were looking into buying an apartment because with my salary increase we could finally afford it. Not to mention rent was such a waste of money. We moved into the new apartment in November and got the place ready in time for my parents, Matt, Armie, and Natalie to come visit. They visited for the holidays (December 19-January 9). My parents and Natalie again stayed with my brother and Armie first in Madrid before coming here. When they came here, things were fine for the first few weeks. They were impressed with the apartment and had a new found respect for Pieter because he had money saved up that he used as down payment for the apartment. With my salary and the money he saved up from working in the past, we managed to buy our home. Of course my parents kindness only lasted the first week. Soon all hell broke loose about how they want Natalie to study in the Philippines and my dad cracking fat jokes at me in front of Pieter's family. Also Pieter told my parents that he plans to propose to me and my mom told him that he might as well propose to me already because he proposed to them. In short, they were being insufferable. I told them off that night and said they aren't welcome in my house if they keep acting that way. Natalie joined the conversation and we argued that she has a right to hold onto her passport because it's her document and that she has a right to study where she wants. My parents argued that they're footing the bill so they can control where she goes. To which I said I can pay for it if that's the case so she has the freedom to choose. She can also always take a part time job while she's here. My dad couldn't say anything else and almost had a heart attack from it.

They were quiet for the rest of the stay and Natalie stayed with Pieter and I for most of the weeks. During this time Armie confided in me and Natalie that my brother was being abusive towards her. She tried to break up with him recently and he yelled at her, threatened to cut himself, and threw glasses at her. I advised her to run from him because there's no way that he would ever change especially since he doesn't take accountability for his actions. My brother even sent me a voice recording when this happened and said "it's not so much what I did but her reaction to what I did" So he clearly has zero capability of self reflection.

When they returned to Madrid, my parents fought with Natalie. She was defending me when my parents were playing the victim saying they were not welcome in my apartment and that only Natalie is the one welcome at my place. Natalie then said "She said you are welcome to stay so long as you don't disrespect her." Then my dad asked where the disrespect was and Natalie said "You called her fat in front of Pieter's family" Then my dad said that it was a jokea nd when Natalie tried arguing he started going "Don't dare me Natalie. You don't want to see me angry" which is what he used to say before hitting us. I then bought Natalie a ticked back to Belgium and told her she can take it if she wants, but that it will be hard for her to find a university here because she still hasn't finished highschool.

Which brings us to today. Natalie went home to the Philippines to finish Highschool and plans to run away here. My mom texted saying they plan to hear Natalie out if it is indeed cheaper to study here, so I helped Natalie come up with an Excel file. We found out it was a million pesos (20k euros) for her to study here because DLSU in the PH is ridiculously expensive. Natalie has yet to report this to my parents on a power point file. Chances are they will change their mind when the time comes so I have a backup plan where Boris and my Ate Ernestine to help my sister escape if needed.

As for me, I am reintegrating into work and thinking solutions over with my manager about the Marc and Jur issue. I also am resuming EMDR sessions with Sophie and this time will be tackling the Sexual abuse memories.

Also just to explain - the sick leave scenario at work allows someone to be on sick leave for up to 2 years with full pay. I have to have bi-monthly meetings with the company doctor and bi-weekly meetings with my manager to keep up to date on my mental health progress and reintegration.

So yeah- a lot has happened since my last post.

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hollysbookadventure · 4 months

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Heavens Official Blessing; Book 8 is the first book of 2024 ✨️

I just fucking loved this series. I was scrolling tiktok one day a couple weeks ago, when a video came up by a creator who's recs I trust. They said that Heavens Official Blessing is their favorite donghua of all time. So I jumped over to crunch roll, and began to watch.

I was hooked. I watched all of season 1 in one sitting and then was antsy my entire workday the next to finish what else was left. When season 2 ended on a cliffhanger, I immediately began to research the best way to pick up the story. It seemed that reading the novels would be my best bet, and i should start from book 1 even though I would know the first few arcs. This was the best decision I could've made!

SPOILERS Book 1 to 8 of Heavens Official Blessing below

The animation for Heavens Offical Blessing is just so well done, but on Crunchroll, the English dub doesn't have any subtitles or closed captioning. I need those, so I jumped to the Chinese dub with English sub. The flow was pretty disjointed, and I had a hard time keeping on top of the finer details of the plot. I had to pause and rewind things a few times to figure out the plot, and even then I was still a little lost.

I had no issue with this when reading the novels. Everything was spelled out very clearly, and I had such a better understanding of what was happening. I also feel like when watching the show, I missed out on Xie Lian's internal dialogue. He is significantly smarter then the show impressed on me. He constantly is aware of the situation with a greater depth then anyone else, and has such a critical eye.

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng were such a delight to read about. I was kicking my feet in the air like a teenager whenever the two of them interacted. THE COFFIN SCENE?! and the temple alter scene?! I was on the cusp of death during those scenes. I loved how Xie Lian was like "they taught me how to not fall for women, but i was never prepared for the wiles of men" [totally paraphrased]. It just was so GOOD. He's just so smitten with Hua Cheng and Hua Cheng is just so obsessed with Xie Lian, it just made me so happy.

This was my first donghua/book ever, and although I knew it was a romance between two men, I wasn't sure how blatantly queer it would be - because I'd heard in the past that censors could be tough on the subject. I was delighted that the information I had been given was wrong - there is no room in the story to doubt that Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are lovers and husband.

I loved the continued pretense that they were "sharing spiritual power" every time they kissed throughout the book lol. Eventually they figured themselves out, but it was fun on the road to get there.

Xie Lian is a wonderful character. He has been as high as a God, and as low as beggar. Xie Lian has lived life in many roles, and it gives him a very unique position. Xie Lian presents at the beginning of the story as a humble man, who is kind and caring. This all turns out to be true, but as his story is unveiled the pain he experienced is revealed. Xie lian has known pain greater than most can imagine, and he survives it. This isn't something that should be overlooked. I think it's interesting - in the show when he retrieves his sword, there's a scene shortly after where it looks like he instinctual goes to protect himself with his sword but then is disappointed in himself for picking up such a habit. In the novel, he is absolutely not disappointed in himself for slipping into a habit - he just changes his mind about what the best plan of action is. The way the same scene is presented gives such a different perspective on Xie Lian

Hua Cheng is a devoted follower. I must say, his believe in Xie Lian is unwavering and dedicated. Is it the most ... sane thing? No, absolutely not. I guess it's different if you're a God, but if someone carved thousands of statues of me, I'd probably be a bit more creeped out. Hua Cheng's dedication to Xie Lian was incredible. His defeat of the 33 Heavenly Officials who offended Xie Lian was a huge twist. Literally everything he has ever done has been for his God- his God who saved and protected him when no one else would. It was a tradgedy, and uplifting. The perfect match for Xie Lian's complex life.

Feng Xin and Mu Qing are two characters who I really liked. Neither are perfect, and both fuck up. But they both do what they think is right, while carrying the heavy weights they do. I knew pretty early on that Feng Xin and Mu Quing were Nan Feng and Fu Yao. I genuinely really respect the two characters for that action.

The Three Tumors were a fantastic cast too. Ling Wen had complex challenges - being a woman civil God, and facing sexism so rampant she had to adopt a male form to be at her strongest. Like others in the story she is not faultless, and she has harmed others in the past. But I think accounting is a pretty good punishment, if I do say so myself.

Pei Ming was a fucking dick, who I cannot believe I ended up liking at the end. I appreciate he was humbled by The Rain Master. Xuan Ji as an antagonist right at the beginning really sets up the story for Pei Ming to be the bad guy - but he really comes through when he needs too.

Shi Wudu 's love and dedication to his Brother, Shi Qingxaun is admirable. However, in his effort to save his brother, he plays with fate. This is unforgivable, and he is the only who who is dead because of his crimes. I think that the punishment does match the crime - though I do wish Shi Qingxaun wasn't a victim too.

Jun Wu. Wow. Now that was a twist I didn't see coming. But like Xie Lian reflects, when it think about it, it all makes sense. I feel like the resolution was absolutely perfect too.

Just an absolutely fantastic series, with such dynamic, complex characters. I read pretty fast, and so even with the holidays/work/other obligations I read all 8 books in about 8 days. It was a fantastic time, and I cannot suggest it enough.

#booktok #books #xie lian #crimson rain sought flower #heavens official blessing #book review #book series #reading

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midwintermasque · 4 months

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Storyline: A Hallway Happenstance

Corrian had been standing in the turn of the second floor hallway of the palace for almost half an hour. Her maid had questioned the servants, and they knew that every week on this day at about two hours past noon the king walked past this spot on his way out of his council meeting. Months she had been in the City of Elua, trying to catch his attention, and now she was taking matters into her own hands. Corrian heard the footsteps before she saw him, but that was her cue to start walking down the hall. As the king came into view, she locked eyes on him, maneuvering herself into his path. “Lady Corrian,” the king said politely. “Your Majesty,” replied Corrian, sinking into a curtsy, “how nice to run into you here.” It took all the will power Gustav had to keep the polite expression on his face. He was sick of this pretense but figured he might as well get this over with. “Would you like to walk with me, my lady? The gardens are lovely this time of year.” “I would be honored, Your Majesty,” she replied, joining him in step as they walked toward the staircase. “How are you enjoying your time in the city?” he asked. “Oh it is lovely, and I am so looking forward to Longest Night. Though I miss my father and our estate back home.” “Is Borlean so intriguing?” he inquired as they walked through the doorway to the terrace overlooking the garden. “Well, not the land, per say, though it is quite lovely, but the people. I grew up there, and my father is very much the life and spirit of the place. Also, many of the crofters there grew up in tandem with me and are like near cousins.” “It is nice to see a noble lady think so highly of her home and her people.” “Oh yes, though I have also had a great season here in the city. I have gotten to know so many lovely people and had quite simply the best visit to Dahlia House.” The king stopped in his tracks, the sudden stillness of someone sensing a threat, and he turned very carefully to examine her face before saying quietly, “Dahlia House? What exactly are you trying to say, my lady?” Corrian smiled, it had worked. She no longer needed to play coy or pretend, she could finally be frank. “I went to Dahlia House to have an assignation with Odilia, Your Majesty. I wanted to see what was so special about her, and I must say, you have impeccable taste.” The other potential wives may have spent their time showing off their skills and trying to catch his eye, but Corrian knew that to get the king’s attention and to stand a chance in this race for the queen’s crown, she needed to find the king’s heart. And he kept it at Dahlia House. “My lady, let's drop pretense, it is clear we didn’t accidentally run into each other today, and I wish to tell you I am finding the entire exercise of finding a wife exhausting. So, what exactly do you propose?” “Your Majesty, like you, I see marriage as an act of necessary convenience. I would never stop you from taking any lover you chose, let alone a consort. I have to say, your choice in consort is superb, and I can see her and me even becoming friends. I imagine it would do you many favors to have your queen be friends with your consort and prevent anyone from causing trouble or pitting them against each other.” “And what is it that you want, a crown and power?” he asked, his frustration with the marriage mart apparent. He was surrounded with ambitious, power-hungry, flattering courtiers every day, he was tired of the game. “Your Majesty, you wound me. No, I want precisely what I offer you, the freedom to take lovers.” “While I cannot pretend that that is at all unreasonable, considering Blessed Elua’s precept and our traditions, I am a king. Any child my wife would bear must be mine. There can never be any doubt about its parentage or the stability of the realm could be at stake.” “I fully acknowledge that. Once a candle to Eishieth is lit, I can promise to take only female lovers. Though, in return, I would ask that any children born to your mistress would be handled subtly. I would not wish to hear courtiers gossiping about my marriage bed in the hallways.” “I did ask for frankness, my lady, and you have given it to me. Though I do not know if Odilia would even wish to light a candle, I could assure my wife that any child born through that union would be provided for, cared for, titled, but not brought into our household nor given a royal name.” Bastards were treated more kindly in Terre D’Ange, but bastards were still bastards. And dangerous. “It is a fair agreement, Your Majesty.” He looked at her evenly with his Courcel blue eyes. “I would also wish that our first son would be named for my late brother, Daniel.” Corrian gave King Gustav another curtsy. “It would be my honor to continue his legacy and memory.” Gustav heaved a heavy sigh, “Shall we say we have an agreement then?” “The start of one, Your Majesty.” Read the full article

#bachelorettes #characters #fanfic #fantasy #GustavdelaCourcel #roleplay #storyline

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xtrablak674 · 9 months

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Folks may feel one way or another about the current actor's and writers strike, me I am generally indifferent, but there is one significant benefit, I am catching up on all the shows I wanted to watch but was too busy trying to keep up with new ones. I am taking a huge deep dive into programs that have been eluding me for way too long. One of those programs is Netflix's Black Mirror, which I initially watched on bootleg sites since I didn't have access to a NF account.

As I re-watch certain episodes they are hitting differently than they did when I first watched them seven years ago. I thought it was in part the better quality, being able to rewind and most importantly being able to turn on subtitles for hard to hear dialog. I am getting nuances and connections between the Black Mirror world that evaded me before.

One episode that evoked emotions that it didn't previously, was San Junipero, the fourth episode of season three, or series three as they would say in the United Kingdom. The premise of the episode was very similar to Amazon's Upload, which is a show I enjoyed thoroughly. But this episode wasn't remotely comedic and it layered in sexual identity and late in life romance in a very special and unique way. Without major spoilers there is a technology that allows you to upload your consciousness into a server where you can basically live forever having all kinds of adventures in your new after-life.

The thing that had me upset and literally had me crying, I thought maybe I should explore this in a journal entry because this amenity wasn't remotely interesting to me. My reticence like one of the characters in the anthology show was, how can you enjoy eternity when the rest of your family can't be with you? That had me fucked up, because it reflected a truth in my own life. As I explained to my nibling, I have been a forsaken pariah, left behind by nearly my entire family which has proceeded me in death. Who exactly would I be enjoying eternity with?

More importantly I will still be who I am, a person who suffers from mental health issues. Why would I want to spend the rest of existence suffering the way I have in my finite lifespan? This had a dual effect of feeling very sad but also practical. Death is an end a ceasing, rest or nothingness. We don't exactly know, but I would like to think there wouldn't be any more pain in that state.

This admission felt overwhelmingly sad, but it was my truth. To be clear I have never been suicidal but hearing about vampires living forever or mythical characters or gods who have immortal lives I couldn't see that for myself, being first how I am so ostracized from society, and how below homeostasis my mental health is.

There is one way in which this pretense would be attractive to me, if I could forever be journeying in worlds beyond this world, in space, underwater or dimensions so unlike our own they are alien. I realize this is based heavily on love of science fiction and fantasy, but I know I couldn't just live on this planet indefinitely in this head, in this body and in this mental distress and pain. I would need something so outside of myself that I would have to constantly be challenged by my environment that I didn't have a moment to retreat inside.

Everlasting life isn't for everyone, especially those that suffer. I think this is the main reason that religion never really floated my boat, it assumed you were happy with this life, which frankly I never really have been. There have been moments that I was content, but those feelings were always fleeting. I don't think I have had an existence of continually happiness, and I know that may be a bit unrealistic for anyone, but I think there is the potential for there being more good days than bad ones. Sadly that hasn't been my truth and winning this same fate for time immemorial sounds like a punishment to me, not a gift.

#San Junipero #black mirror #netflix #amazon #upload #afterlife #living forever #death and dying #death and rebirth #eternity #journal entry #mental health #depression #anxiety #dysthmia #end of life #happiness

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thearchivistsjournal · 1 year

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Day 150,

Morning thought: One hundred fifty. Does that count as a milestone? It’s a multiple of fifty. And a nice clean-looking number. But after hitting one hundred, making note of smaller intervals just doesn't hit the same. But it still hit enough to make me notice?

Eh, that’s enough of that thought. I need to get ready for class.

*******

Lin stopped by today. Sounded like she’d been having a stressful time lately and needed a day to unwind. I let her have the run of the archive while Cass and I taught class upstairs. There was some minor distraction when she first showed up and when she came back up to chat during the lunch recess. She certainly gets along well with kids. No sign of the usual facade of detached professionalism she puts on around people. It feels condescending to say, but for a moment I found myself thinking that she seems to fit in better with them than other adults. Maybe it’s just comfort from not feeling the need to put up pretenses around them.

Once class was over for the day and the children had gone home we got more of a chance to talk and catch up with one another. Apparently an old woman living in the outskirts had taken ill recently and so most of Lin’s time these days was spent trekking out to attend to her, alternating shifts with her father. It seems that there’s usually some elder or another who gets sick during the rainy season, and Lin admitted to having grown to dislike the season for that. A depressing time of old folks realizing they aren’t long for this world and needing a doctor to make their last days comfortable.

I off-handedly observed that that seemed to track with my recent observations about dates of death; i.e. most deaths happening at the end of a rainy season or start of a dry season, meaning that the worst part of the decline would have been during the rainy season. Eager for a change in topic, Lin pounced on that comment and started asking questions about my extrapolated census project. What it was, why I was doing it, if I’d found anything interesting - that sort of thing.

I explained that it had started with me being curious about birth rates based on the class size feeling small to me, and from there it just sort of expanded due to me wanting something different to do. I mean, I guess theoretically there might be a practical use for it, but at the moment it really is just a pet project for the sake of keeping my mind occupied.

Lin asked what I meant about the class size being small, and I explained what I believe I’ve written about before regarding my own memories of birth rates in my past world and there seemingly being too few children of any given age given the size of the Village, the abundance of food and resources, and the general lack of disease and dangers. From there I apologized for coming back around to the original topic she was wanting a break from before bringing up how odd it was that the death rate so evenly matched the birthrate. That, if I recall correctly, for just about the entire history of my old world - save in localized instances in times of disasters like war, plague, or famine - rates of birth vastly exceeded rates of death and for there to be essentially net zero population growth like here in the Village for an indefinitely sustained period would be nearly unheard of.

With that leadup I went ahead and asked the question I’d been thinking of for the past couple of weeks: Had she, as the Village’s future doctor, noticed a correlation between births and deaths, and did she have any thoughts as to the why of it?

Lin’s mood dampened at that. Not the shift to cold professionalism she puts on with most people, but that tiredness I’ve seen a handful of times that makes me wonder if her playful demeanor around friends (and apparently children) is just as much of a mask. Of course she’d noticed a connection. Most people probably have, although whether or not they consciously realize it or would be willing to admit it is a different matter. Lin’s own thoughts on the matter are that it all goes back to the Catacombs, and that being a sort of taboo topic is part of the reason no one talks about it. That and it being a normal enough part of life that no one gives it a second thought as to the why. But here, down in the archive with just the two of us (Norman and Marva were expecting Cass to help with dinner so she’d already left by this point) a little bit of taboo breaking seemed indulgently rebellious.

Lin prefaced the following by saying that this was all just her own thoughts and theories on the matter and she’d never really talked to anyone about it to get another perspective. No detailed investigation. And certainly no proof of anything. Just what made sense to her personally as a way to explain what she’s observed. Lin’s idea is that, save perhaps for outsiders (or perhaps especially outsiders; she goes back and forth on that depending on the day) we’re all shades from the Catacombs. Or rather, that we’re spirits or souls or ghosts or whatever from the Catacombs that have gotten lucky and managed to get a turn at being alive and having a body, and the shades are the ones that have got impatient at waiting their turn so they come up to the surface when they get the chance. They try to drag us back to the Catacombs to make room up here so they might have a chance at getting a turn to be alive.

Somehow (and she’s not sure how) the Blossom Field and its being a requirement for fertility is probably connected to the Catacombs. At any rate, it’s Lin’s belief that women getting pregnant triggers the elderly to fall terminally ill once those pregnancies get far enough along. That it’s not the rains that make them sick, but the coincidence that most couples try to time their conceptions to make the birth happen near the start of a dry season. Sure, there are more cases of mundane sickness during the rainy seasons as a result of people being more cold and wet on a regular basis, but those are rarely more than mild coughs and sniffles. No, it’s her theory that the new spirit trying to enter the world of the living starts forcing an old one out.

After a pause of getting up the nerve of what to say next, Lin confided that was one of the two big reasons she wasn’t in a hurry to get married and have children, despite her age and her parents’ pushing. She can’t stand the thought that by having a child she’d essentially be killing someone in the process. With a sigh, she said she envied everyone else for their ability to just carry on blissfully unaware. She assumes unaware. Better than the alternative thought that they might not care or write it off with a platitude about that being the way things are.

Hoping to maybe comfort her, I pointed out (with the preface that I wasn’t trying to change her mind on life decisions) that maybe the weakening of old souls’ hold on the world happens first to enable conception with the help of the Blossom Field and that it just takes a while for the symptoms of that to set in.

She said that makes sense, but doesn’t explain the timing as well.

A fair point. And her theories do neatly explain a number of things, despite there not really being a way to prove them.

After a brief pause, Lin made a (forced?) chuckle and added that wouldn’t change the other of the two big reasons for not wanting to find a man to marry and have kids with.

I felt a twinge of a grin on one side of my mouth and said that I’m sure Maiko is thankful for that second reason. Lin gave me a look. I defended myself by stating that I possessed working eyes and ears.

From there we shifted to lighter topics. Mostly dinner. There are actually a handful of establishments in the Village that are something like restaurants. No menus though, just whatever the cook is making that day. Being mostly paid in food, I rarely patronize them, but this evening they served our purposes well enough.

I brought up the idea that if she’s going to the outskirts a lot these days, she’d be welcome to stop by the house whenever. Unfortunately, her patient is on the other road out of town. Alas. The recent get-together left me with a taste for more socialization.

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