#they also tried to take away my sunflower seeds

[cerise-on-top]

Been really into gardening, so what about Nikolai and König with a gardener s/o? Would they be interested in helping out, or have a specific favorite type of plant?

(I love love LOVE rambling about plants, they're so cool once you get to know them!! I blame my mom entirely since she has a green thumb)

(Also, do you have a fav kind of flower? I personally love hydrangeas)

Plants are really cool, though! Hydrangeas are very pretty, I think I've seen some here and there! I personally adore lisianthus, though! They're absolutely gorgeous! Now I can't help but wonder if I could grow some someday when I move out, haha!

Nikolai and König with a Gardener!S/O

Nikolai: I do believe that he has a garden somewhere near his house only he knows about, where he grows vegetables. He loves having his own little garden, just that little bit of space that no one can take away from him with which he can do just about whatever is nice. He especially likes tomatoes, they’re nutritious, healthy and very delicious, as well as easy to cook. Nikolai is a pretty good cook, so he knows how to utilize tomatoes to their full potential. He has tried to grow flowers as well, though. He’s made some good success with sunflowers, in fact he still has some in his secret garden. So he absolutely knows how to take care of a garden, he finds it relaxing even and would love to help you out a bit, if you let him. Do let him plant some plants of his own, though, he loves watching them grow. Although he’s never been able to do so, he’d love to cultivate some melons at some point as well. Watermelons, cantaloupes, honey melons, he’d love to eat his own ones someday as well, especially with you. He thinks it’s so cool that you’re a gardener because, in another life where he wasn’t a soldier and or leader of a PMC, he, too, would be a gardener. Has always dreamed of having a garden with you and would love to plant some trees as well. Apple trees, cherry trees, maybe even some orange trees, as long as he gets some delicious fruit out of it, he’s down. Besides, what’s more domestic than working at your shared garden together? He’ll even plant some flowers as well. He can’t particularly surprise you well with them, but he can look at your surprised face when they first start sprouting. While he won’t pluck or cut them unless he needs to, he will cherish the moments he gets to spend with you and your shared plants. And if you’re the type of person to name your plants then I can assure you he remembers each and every single name.

König: He’s never really been into gardening. He had a small succulent as a kid once so he had something to take care of that would help him with feeling down, but it didn’t survive very long. He loved the little plant a little too much and gave it too much water every day. To this day he feels guilty about it. He named it “Luisa”. Ever since then he’s not very confident in his plant keeping abilities, thinking he has the worst green thumb imaginable. He would love to help you, don’t get me wrong, but he’s afraid of killing your plants and making you mad about it. No, he’d much rather watch you and encourage you with your endeavors. He’ll buy fertilizer, if needed, or some new seeds or saplings if you want some, but he won’t really do much with your plants, aside from moving them to the sunlight if you want him to. Although, it should be added that he could still learn how to take good care of a plant. With some guidance, and another small succulent that’s hard to kill, it’s not too late. Just show him the ropes, tell him what to do and he’ll do it. He might get nervous about having overdone it again from time to time, and will come up to you, the succulent tiny in his hands, asking you if his plant will make it. Reassure him and give him some good tips, he’ll appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. König feels very accomplished when the plant has survived over two months. As time goes on, he’ll grow more comfortable with plants and ask you if he could maybe help you water some more plants. He may still need to get a feeling for it all, but he’s very eager to help you. Again, this is all very domestic for him, so he quite likes it. Just watering some plants with you, harvesting some parsley, maybe picking some apples from the tree. He can get most fruits from the tree due to his height as well, which is great. König’s more into the practical side of gardening, so he prefers fruit and vegetables over flowers. His favorite plant would be a pumpkin, but only because he loves pumpkin seed oil.

#cod #cod x reader #cod nikolai #cod nikolai x reader #könig #konig #könig x reader #konig x reader #pumpkin seed oil is literally the best thing out there it goes so well with salad #I never eat my salads without some pumpkin seed oil #been eating it ever since I was a child and my mother to this day buys it whenever she can. salads are so good #therefore König also adores pumpkin seed oil because I said so #besides he's Austrian so it makes a lot of sense as well #plants are so so cool #I had two succulents once but my heart broke when I had to throw them out due to mosquitos #my entire room was filled to the brim with mosquitos it was absolutely disgusting #my two succulents were named Eden and Arya #and yes I did name one after an OC of mine and the other one after a VN character #I miss having plants it was so very cool but I fear the day I have a million bugs in my room again #I'm not at all a big fan of bugs I think they should leave me alone and stay as far away from me as possible #also I really like lisianthus because of a song. otherwise I wouldn't even know they exist haha #nine point eight by mili is very depressing but also really good. it names a lot of flowers #however don't listen to it if you don't fare well with suicide themes since that song's very heavy on those

[fangirlfrom-hell]

The Funeral || Jay and Will Halstead x Halstead Sister

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly delated my blog 🫠 (I'm so relieved I found this one)

One of my hamsters passed away early in the morning and it was a bit dramatic. He died of old age, he was 2 and a half years. I've been crying all single day, nonstop. I was also planning on going out to skate this afternoon, but I couldn't. I wrote this thinking about him, of course. Ugh, I'm way to affected by this. I hope you read this story until the very end.

Even when he was profundly asleep and deep into his dreams, Jay's eyes snapped open and jumped when he visualized the face of his sister very, very close to him.

-"Jay". She kept repeating and moving him by the shoulder. Her eyes were red and her tiny face all wet, but it was hard to notice. It was dawn and the sunbeams coming through the window weren't that strong to illuminate the room.

Still half asleep and feeling confused, Jay couldn't do anything but blink fast and rub his face trying to wake up. It was until Becca talked again that he noticed she was crying.

-"Jay, something's wrong with Gus".

He put on his shirt and next thing he was leaning towards the hamster's cage.

-"See? He doesn't move".

Indeed, the small orange animal was still in one of the corners, his heavy breathing was notorious because the sides of his belly were moving very fast. His black eyes were almost closed. Jay had the idea to give the rodent a sunflower seed, but he didn't take it even when it was his favorite treat.

-"How old is he, Becc? I don't recall when you adopted him"

-"About two years old...I got it when mom got sick".

He turned to look at his sister with a bit of pity in his eyes. He didn't know a lot about hamsters, but it was sure that two years was a very advanced age for these kind of pets.

-"Alright. Let me search a bit, maybe we can find a clue about what's going on with Gus". He reassured the girl by touching her shoulder and went back to the couch to pick up his phone. The clock marked 6:20am, too early to take it to tje vet. He googled whatever came to his mind: Why is my hamster breathing very fast? or My hamster is struggling to move and also How to know if my hamster is dying. He scanned a lot of articles gathering any information that could be useful for the case.

-"Becc, it says it could be something about abrupt temperature changes..."

-"But he-- is always warm-- enough". She managed to say between sobs.

-"Right. Um, I don't think it would hurt to put something like a small blanket in his cage. Wait--". He dissappeared into his room and after a lot of noises came back with a sock in his hands: "Here. This might help". His hopes were very low, but it was worth trying.

Gus simply didn't heed about the sock. Instead, he tried to move around the cage, stumbling with each object on it. He tried to climb his little house-castle, but failed. He kept walking, struggling to move his hind legs, until he fell over the plate of food. Instinctively, Becca tenderly took him out of there.

-"Jay, he's very cold". She sniffled, getting more upseat as seconds passed. The girl placed the hamster in the table, but this time he couldn't even hold himself up. "Jay!" Becca cried loud.

Her brother knew that was the final sign: Gus was going to die and there was nothing to do about it. He grabbed the animal putting his both hands together. There, the hamster began to take his last breaths, which was a very hard scene for Becca to witness.

There was only one way of saying, the fastest the better: "Sweetie, Gus is dying".

She knew it, but was unable to say a word. Jay passed the little body to his sister and it gave the last breath in her little hands. Immediatly, Becca seeked for her brother's arms and started bawling.

The first rays of sunlight began to enter through the window and dimly illuminated the rodent.

-"He--looks so--beutiful--and in--peace". She sobbed still attached to the detective.

-"Yes, he does. But we should cover him, Becc. Just let me..." He released his sister for an instant and procedeed to tenderly put the hamster inside of the sock.

-"We are going to bury him...".

-"Of course".

Becca started weeping once more, her feelings were very volatile : "...make a funeral and all. Gus deserves it. Call Will, he should be here too".

-"I'll tell you what. Later we'll go out to buy a plant and a cute flowerpot to bury him in there, it will be as a new home for him. We can leave it in the window and that way you will always be close to him. But right now is still too early and you really need to rest". He tucked her hair behind her ears to clear her face. He also tried to wipe the tears, but there were so many more comming out of her big eyes.

The two siblings sat in the living room couch. Becca settled her head on her brother's chest and quicky fall asleep, snnifling from time to time. Jay sent a text to Will before threwing his head back to rest.

It was already the evening. The colorful flowerpot and the suculent cactus Becca chose for Gus were placed on the table, right next to his cage. Even when the hamster was covered inside of the sock, the little girl couldn't help to cry whenever she saw the spot. Actually, her crying had been intermittent along the whole day, something notorious in her pink puffed eyes and pronounced baggy eyes.

The name Hailey Upton appeared on Jay's phone screen and he twisted his mouth as soon as he read the text:

See you later?

The whole Intelligence unit was going to gather at Molly's and he had forgotten about it. He wasn't in the mood, anyway. Jay was also feeling a bit down, not so much for the animal, but for his sister. They were very attached, so it was easy for him to absorb and be affected by her amotions. It was also important for him to stay by her side, he felt it was his responsability to make her feel secure. So it wasn't hard to answer back to his girlfriend:

I have to organize and attend a funeral.

By the time the sunset came, the orange rays of sun trespassing the windows gave a touch of solemnity to the atmosphere. Becca was wearing a formal black dress and shiny shoes of the same color. Jay put on the clothes he would usually wear for a trial day, only without a necktie. When Will arrived to his brother's appartment, he noticed his little sisters' glassy eyes from the distance and walked right straight to hug her: "I'm sorry, Becc. I know how much you cared for Gus".

-"He was my friend". She stated with a lump in her throat.

-"Alright. We should start".

The three Halstead siblings positioned themselves in front of the cage. Becca was in the middle, half a step in front of her brothers. Will fixed his necktie while Jay lit a candle, it was a touching scene to see them this united. Becca was about to start speaking, but got interrupted by the doorbell.

-"That's weird"Jay frowned: "Hold on a sec".

Confusion was evident in his countenance when he opened the door and saw Hailey and Trudy Platt on the other side.

-"Hey! Sorry to interrupt". Hailey started talking in a low voice: "Everybody was asking for you at the bar and when I told them why you couldn't go, well...we decided to come over".

The rest of the detectives started to arrive ony by one from the side of the hallway.

-"I hope we're not late, bro". Kevin said as soon as he showed up.

-"Not at all. We were actually about to start". Jay fully opened the door to let them all in: "Becc, you have visits".

Platt was carrying three boxes in her hands: "I brought cinnamon rolls for the outcome".

-"And I got everything to prepare hot chocolate". Kim passed with a bag in her hands: "Hot chocolate eases the pain". She winked to her friend.

Becca's lower lips started quivering, she was moved by the presence of her brother's friends. Even Hank Voight attended the ceremony and shared some words with the grieving girl: "I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure it was a great pet".

-"He was, indeed". The youger sibling muttered with puffy eyes.

Adam, Kim, Kevin, Platt, Voight and Hailey gathered around the cage, standing up around the Halsteads ready to start the funeral.

Becca cleared her throat before her speech, but it didn't help at all to her shaky voice and chocked sobs: "Gus--you were named-- after the mouse from Cinderella. Mom--helped me picked your name--because it was our favorite movie". After the mention of their mother, Will squeezed her shoulder. -"You were always there--for me--during good and--hard times. You always made me feel a--ccompanied even during the time I was a--lone. You al--ways helped me re--member my mommy". Jay and Will shared a painful look. -"Thank--you for listening to--me at all ti--messs, for kee-ping my se-crets, and ta--king away my so--rrow. I don't know wh--what I'm gonna do with--out you in my room, it will be so emp--ty. I fffffeel empty. You were so--good to me, I just hope I--was good for you too. I hope you had a good life, I did my-- best. I--already miss you so--much. Now my mommy--will take care of you. I'm sure she miss-ed you. I--love you and I al--ways will". She ended with an attack of hiccups.

The room was in complete dead silence. Burgess was swallowing hard trying to avoid the tears to roll down her cheeks. On the other hand, Hailey being closer to the family, couldn't avoid it. Voight was standing with his hands on his pockets staring at the floor, Kevin next to the boss with his crossed arms and tight lips. Everyone in the room was touched in a way by the little Haltead speech.

After a few seconds of pause, Becca turned yo face Jay, who was freezed, deep into his toughts.

-"It's time to..."

-"Sure, sorry". He opened the cage and fondly took the hamster out to carefully place him inside of his new spot.

Becca got closer and grabbed some soil with a hand shovel to start burying him, but she paralyzed at the image of her little orange friend wrapped in the sock already half buried. She stared at her brother and slowly moved her head from one side to another, saying no.

-"Do you want me to do it?" He asked already proceeding.

Silent tears quickly transformed into a strong bawling for Becca. Will rushed to hug her and she hid her face in his shirt, leaving it all wet.

When Jay finished planting the cactus over the buried body, he opened the jar of sunflower seeds and took one tu put it over the fresh soil of the tumb: "Thank you, Gus, for taking care of our sister". He said outloud, from the bottom of his heart. He knew the hamster was important for her, but he never imagined how much.

-"Yes, thank you very much". Will followed his brother's idea and then passed the jar to Becca. The girl kissed the seed before leaving it in the place. The dynamic was supposed to stop there, but Hailey affectionately took the jar from the girl's hands and made it roll until every single person in the room did the same gesture.

With the ceremony being over, everybody got comfortable and found a place to sit between the kitchen chairs and the small living room. Becca sat in the sofa, laying over Jay who was holding her as tight as he could. She was physically devastated and tired, her big eyes looked small after all the crying, some silent tears were still rolling eventually.

Hailey was sitting on the other side, with her hand touching her leg as a soothing gesture: "You took good care of him, you shouldn't doubt it. He had a very long life for a hamster".

-"Now he's a plant" Her voice was broken and raspy: "And he has a new little house".

Every now and then, Jay and Will crossed their eyes and stared at each other for a fragment of seconds. It was enough to know they were affected by her sister's words and the mention of their mother, the same ideas going around their minds, meaning they would have a conversation as soon as they find themselves alone.

Trudy, with a cinnamon roll in her hand, bent to be at Becca's height and offered the piece of bread: "I know you like these a lot". Her smile was so warm it would melt the poles.

Following Platt, Kim stretched her hand with a mug of hot chocolate: "And this will help to ease your heartache, trust me".

Thanks for reading. If you liked it, it would help my soul if you give it a like, comment or share. 😌♡

♡ A video of my buddy happily moving his whiskers, because I want you all to have this mental image of Gus (Altough his name wasn't it):

#jay halstead #one chicago #chicago pd #halstead sister #jay halstead x halstead sister #will halstead #chicago med #jay halstead imagine #will halstead x halstead sister #jay halstead x sister #will halstead x sister #will halstead imagine #chicago pd fic #chicago med fic #halstead! sister

[sloaaaa]

MY POKEMON BRAINCELLS HAVE BEEN REACTIVATED!!!!!! i kinda wanna open trainersona + pokemon team comms but i still gotta finish my current queue shjkdfg n i would be posting this on my art acc but i made the draft in my main so :((

also watch me ramble about my dream team under the cut

alRIGHT YOU CLICKED THE READ MORE AND YOU’RE IN FOR A WORLD OF WORDS BABEY!!! let’s start w my trainer sona yeah? :]

enterr Sploo from Petalburg city! :D he/they. our trainer starts out in petalburg city of hoenn where his pokemon adventure begins! since the professor’s lab is just a few town away it doesn’t take much for them to get his hands on his starter pokemon treecko! the babey boy ;; he catches lotsa pokemon to fill out the dex, sometimes keeping them on his team, and other times letting them go. he doesn’t like having the pokemon all crammed in the pc boxes :( some pokemon stay for a few battles and others maybe a few days, but things change after defeating his first gym. he meets an electrike at route 110 under the seaside cycling road, she’s just a lil puppyyy a lil babeeeyyy ;;;; super fun playful lil guys sticks around the team! -w- after his fourth gym badge his parents give him a gift pokemon for making it halfway through the gym challenge! a klefki! :3 a tame n helpful lil guys who just enjoys holding keys -w- sploo then continues on to complete two more gyms before his family moves to alola.

now on the boat to alola with grovyle, manectric and klefki sploo kinda just stays by the side of the boat watching the waves go by -w- also trying not to get too seasick shjkdfgl a lone shiny fletchling perches by them and he tries real hard to keep the excitement in and offers the fletchling some sunflower seeds! and asks if the fletchling would like the join their team! i mean who wouldn’t wanna pass up the opportunity of having a shiny pokemon on their team? after docking at akala island sploo travels around and catches some more pokemon to register to the dex, releasing them after as usual. then upon exploring diglett’s tunnel he finds a cover fossil! after cleaning up the rocks and dirt off the fossil spectrobes origins wii style he brings it to the fossil restoration center just along the route and meets the fifth member of his team :] and finally the sixth member of the team! a jangmo-o found in poni canyon, sploo came across the jangmo-o with its head scale stuck in the branches of a fallen tree. he freed the jangmo-o and excpected it to run back to its herd but it kept challenging them for a battle. after a long fight the jangmo-o is worn out, and sploo helps it back up on its feet with some potions and a plate of oran berries. sploo sets up a little picnic in the canyon! :3 helping nurse the jangmo-o back to health -w- the lil dragon sneaks into sploo’s bag and brings out a pokeball in its maw, determination in its eyes. and that’s how the team get together! :D but if u think i am done u are soo wrong sjhkjdfgd now i’m gonna go more in depth with each team member >:]

let’s start with mister! the sceptile -w- he is a grass/dragon type even without the mega evolution bc we were robbed and it’s not fair that swampert and blaziken get double typings while sceptile stays just grass >:[ chill and laid back, my baby boy ;; starter pokemon! he has a sceptilite in the friendship bracelet sploo made for him! :3 when walking through forests and jungles and very tree dense areas he’s always out of his pokeball darting around through the trees while sploo walks through -w- sometimes sploo stops for a lil break so sceptile can take care of sick trees in the forets! when having picnics out in the wild he can be found sitting and photosynthesizing when not playing around the trees. and since sceptiles are cold blooded mister stays in his pokeball when travelling through colder icy areas and he also enjoys having flynt resting atop his head or nesting in his tail leaves -w-

next up is storm! the manectric! a playful steadfast and loyal companion -w- she likes being out of her pokeball a lot and walks with sploo through towns n stuff. she has the manectite embeded in her collar :3 and also sploo charges his phone, pokedex and pokenav+ by just stuffing the charger cable in her mane jshkdfg sploo keeps a pair of sturdy rubber gloves in his bag bc of her :P

steele! the klefki. a very mild mannered pokemon -w- the one who’s always out of its pokeball! other than holding sploo’s house keys it also holds his multitools! since they’re also made of metal and has more mass than keys it has more metal ions for klefki to feed on -w- sometimes sploo will punch holes in bottlecaps of drinks so steele can have more metal to feed on and to enhance its threatening jingle :] steele enjoys playing around with flynt a lot! flynt n steele ;-; they fly around a lot but don’t stray too far from sploo -w- steele does not participate in battles unless it’s to use fairy lock on a wild pokemon that sploo wants to catch

then there’s flynt! :D my shiny!!! >< flynt perches on sploo’s shoulder when travelling through frigid area to keep him warm ;-; also flynt uses fly to deliver handwritten letters to sploo’s friends! :D it lets flynt fly free and enjoy the wind when the pokeball starts feeling cramped -w- flynt finds an everstone as a fletchinder and starts sitting on it like an egg and gets really attached (like that eagle that’s sitting on a rock jshkdfg) so she just holds the everstone now :P

koopa! the tirtouga -w- a bit hard headed, koopa needs a while to warm up to new trainers. he was a bit hard headed to train but after a while things went more smoothly :] koopa loooves the beachside! :D he knows dive and surff and helps sploo travel through water terrain! it’s a lot like how koopa shells worked in super mario galaxy where you hold on to a shell and it propels you through the water :3 stays in his pokeball most of the time unless it’s by the beachside or lake or any body of water

and last but not least rookie! the jangmo-o, a trusty and honorable battler! >:D much like ash's riolu from pokemon journeys! it takes a bit for the rookie to get used to the feeling of the chip in his head scale. but sooner or later rookie gets the hang of it -w- rookie loves getting to battle, but since sploo is a casual trainer and more focused on completing the dex and dragon types need more battling than usual to evolve dragon types rookie just stays as a jangmo-o :c not that he minds but yeagh

mister, storm, and rookie are the ones usually out for battles, flynt and koopa sometimes come out for battle too either when they get the urge or when they’re needed for certain type matchups! okay thank you for reading about my silly little guys they mean a lot to me and means a lot that you’d wanna read about them ;-;

#pokemon #sceptile #manectric #klefki #fletchinder #tirtouga #jangmo-o #trainer sona #aurughuhguhghghuh i love my teamm they r real to me ;;;;;

[justalittletomato]

Soooo since we has many things about dad! Maul let us not forget about dad! Savage...

So how was it when our big guy got told that his angel is pregnant and I really want to know how he is with his kids itself...

Thank you so much for your interest in dad! Savage! He is a favorite of mine but we have to preface with some sadness of course at least in my little au.

It is possible that Savage already has a few children, of course no one is for sure given how things are on Dathomir, Witches come about, at times a new little nightbrother is brought in, speculation. Who did this new boy resemble more of? Other times maybe there was a young nightsister kept? What did they look like?

Savage doesn't know and tries not to dwell on it...but he is not on Dathomir any longer, no he is far from there. Very far from that red landscape and village he knew.

Here in his Angel's garden as they tend to the flowers and greenery. A picnic date for the both of them, mostly a loaf of bread, some cut meats for savage a bit of cheese, and Angel going to pick more mangos and lemons, they seemed almost ravenous for such food these days.

Angel happily ate up the cut mango Savage handed them.

"No one is going to take it,"

"I know I just find myself hungrier," a glance away, "I actually have a gift to show."

---

A bag of seed, a new thing to grow,

"sunflowers," Angel told him, "A bed of sunflowers would be perfect"

"Is there an occasion for them?" he saw them in Angel's many books on flowers. Bright yellow and tall as can be, a sturdy flower with sunny disposition.

"For the nursery..." Angel whispers quietly,

"The nursery." he humms, the place with all the plants to delicate.

Angel waits.

"Savage?"

"I'll be sure to plant them for you."

"Savage...are you excited?" thier expression fell slightly.

"I am if you are,"

---

It dawns on Angel that while the word is familiar Savage misunderstood.

"Savage...the flowers are for our child's nursery."

---

Angel expected a joyous whoop, a nervous laugh, maybe even a faint.

Instead Savage lowers to his knees and wraps his arms about his love, " I'll get to know them?" he is shaking slightly, "They won't be taken?"

"Savage..." Angel whispers, heartbreak laced in thier voice, "Yes, yes you will," a clawed hand gently presses to their belly. No more wondering...

-----

Ares and Eris are quite a happy pair of twins, the babies sitting upright under the shade of the sunflowers planted months prior.

Savage was never too far from them, both little ones' eyes the mango fruit Angel cut up.

"A small taste wouldn't hurt"

Savage watches happily at how Angel happily offers Ares a small taste of the yellow fruit. How Angel adored their little boy. "The most precious baby boy," Angel said softly.

Eris on the other hand was trying to get more mango than Savage felt was appropriate, but Savage was also terribly soft over giving his little ones anything their hearts desired. The baby girl kicking happily at more of the sweet fruit taste.

Life was perfect like this, days in the garden and the little family happy as can be....

#dad!savage #lemon loaves #ares #eris #clouds ocs

[twyz]

Random chiffany headcanons before I go to bed <3

These are a mix of angst and fluff just because I can literally never have one and not the other (hurt/comfort basically)

Starting off with angst,, Chucky is a very messy crier. Like full force bawling with occasional snot and a VERY flushed face. He doesn't cry very often and usually isn't provoked to cry either (happy tears don't count),, but if he gets stressed out enough, he will let you know by doing this.

It's kinda distressing,, especially when Tiff is an empath jejwnwn

"Tiff why are you crying..?"

"Cuz you're crying and now I feel bad!"

Um

A fluffier headcanon is that Chucky's love of sunflowers has manifested into some of the cutest things

When he was still human, he'd have a yellow

sweater that he'd only wear if he was doing something special

That and he's constantly munching on sunflower seeds

Tiff finds it endearing! but the twins get lowkey weirded out (now that they know who Sarah is sjsjns)

Another kinda angsty headcanon;; Tiffany had really bad self doubt/self confidence issues

Sure! She definitely knows how to strut her stuff but she also happens to be a master at fake it till you make it

You can thank mother valentine for that

Anyways,, she'd talk down about herself when she thought Chucky couldn't hear her

Oh but our homeboy could hear her loud and clear

So you know what he'd do? He'd call her job (somehow he always got the number) and call her out sick for a day or two depending on how bad she was feeling and schedule a self care day for him and tiff

Does he know anything about self care? No,, he just cracks open a beer and paints and calls that self-care

But he learns!

He cooks for Tiff and coddles her for the entire day,, and generally makes her feel special

And he successfully makes her forget her insecurities for a long while

ALSO SPEAKING OF SELF-CARE,, I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE TIFF HAS AT LEAST TRIED TO GET CHUCKY PUT ON ONE OF THOSE FACE MASK THINGS SJJSNW

like as a human obviously cuz the strength of some of those things could literally pull out a staple or two

And that shit would probably hurt

BUT ANYWAYS,,, he would always get confused as all hell

Tiffany managed to sit him down and put it on him once, but he squirmed a lot when she put it on him jsjsne

"Sweetface,, please just stay still"

"but it's fucking cold"

"I know but p l e a s e,, if I fuck up it could get in your hair and I don't think you'd like ripping off your hair when you this off"

He'd groan and stop squirming eventually

When it'd come time to take it off, however, he'd get cold feet

Tiff would be able to just rip hers off no problem but him? Mr.sensitive-skin-king? No fucking way

"no tiff- can't we just wash it off? getyourhandsawayfrommyface"

"no, we can't wash it off"

"what if I just keep it on forever?"

"baby just lemme-"

"n o." And he'd swat her hands away

Eventually, he fell asleep and tiff took her chance to rip it off of him

She didn't think he was gonna make it honestly

Homeboy didn't handle it well, as he, quite literally SCREAMED like a little girl

Whether it was from surprise or pain is unknown

But tiff thought it was the funniest shit for like three days

She of course apologized for taking a layer of his skin off and he just grumbled

"you know how long it took to grow that skin? 31 years >:("

And tiff would laugh again, still trying to apologize

He eventually got over it

But never again did he trust a facemask

Okay I think that's enough for now,, sorry about rambling about one headcanon for like a billion years LSNKSKWKA,, I thought it was a cute concept. I might write about it actually! Only the future shall tell

This was also embarrassingly long oh my goodness gosh :;:sob:::

#twyz #chiffany #chucky #childs play #charles lee ray #bride of chucky #cult of chucky #chucky series #tags for reach #headcanons #otp headcanons #ship post #might write a fic #mayhaps #i love this ship #so much #domestic headcanons #fluff #hurt/comfort #sorta? #angst headcanon #uhhh what to tag #glen/da #glen and glenda #glen ray #glenda ray #tiffany valentine #i think thats it #this was really fun #i love it ngl

[anacecherry]

Ace Lore

Everyone in my friend cycle is posting their lore and Louie gave me the idea to make my own as well so here we go. Kept switching between 3rd person and 1st person because I felt like using both so the phrasing may seem weird

This isn't in any order I wrote them down as they came to my mind

Named Ace because of Among Us

Had a Danganronpa phase in 2020

Was a mod in dr-transparents

Also had a dr edit blog have fun trying to find that one

Used to be homophobic but one day during breakfast I asked my mom if being gay was a sin and she just thought for a second and said no so I stopped being homophobic

Dad in jail (out in march 9 😎)

Watched the entire mcu once

Goes to one of the greatest schools around the area and its shit

Watches how to learn Turkish videos despite being turkish

Has been pirating movies ever since I started using computers because I didn't know you had to pay for it until 3 years ago

Has an """uncle""" and """aunt""" thats younger than me (the aunt is a toddler)

First experience with the sonic franchise was that flash fangame based on sonic advance 2 and I thought Knuckles was a girl

Has an evil twin named Allo, who likes reddit and men

Knows every single frame of animation in Rise of the TMNT

funneylizzie follows me. I forget about that a lot.

The only person that never misread Penosh's og url

.w batman

Will :handshake: me

The CEO of Rise Casey Jones (Cassandra)

The mere sight of Cjj is enough to fill me with rage

Got kicked out of a toh youtubers server bc I tried to explain the owner that the potion coven was, in fact, a real coven and not just a track that they only teach at Hexide

Once woke up and saw a short weird girl with long black hair watching me from the side of my bed, she disappeared after I closed and opened my eyes again. No it wasn't sleep paralysis.

Has a sunflower seed addiction

I was Penosh's first follower I think that should be here

The 6 kittens we took care of after their mom died, most didn't last 2 months alive, the 5th one ran away like an idiot and the 6th lives with our neighbors and hates us

Most likely had a crush on my middle school best friend

Says "Lan" a lot in real life my friends think it's funny

Grew up near the sea so Im immune to the smell of fish

Remembers her first earthquake in 3rd person

When I clear out likes it takes a long time and I end up rebloging a lot of posts, and it might happen again & will be real big this time so be prepared

The Ralsei icon is traced from the og sprite from Deltarune and I will never ever change it it is a part of my identity now

Url used to be tsundere-blue-cherry before I changed it

The first time I remember throwing up might be one of my core memories. did you know you cant talk when you're just about to vomit

Has headaches forever ever since elementary school

Had a budgie named Şans that flew away because mom kept forcing us to keep the windows open

When I was ~6 I a dream where a Caillou toy that I had came to life and I got so scared that I tore it apart and ran. When I woke up I checked the drawer I put the toy parts in and he was still there and greeted me I screamed and slammed it shut and never looked at that drawer again

Ayıcık the teddy bear

Had 2 imaginary friends and one of them was a mirror

Diagnosed as American

I have cherry in my url but cannot eat cherries bc when eating cherries I realized it had worms in it and it happened twice and I have not been able to eat cherries without drowning in anxiety ever again

My youngest sister called my middle sister Dede despite her name not having those letters in it and the word dede meaning grandpa in our language. We started calling her that as well

Had a dream, before the sonic 2 trailer came out, where the trailer released and it was normal except Boom Knuckles was there as a separate character from normal Knuckles and had his model from the show

Made up number lore when I was younger

Uses light mode

#mutuals #ace's cherry

[a-world-of-whimsy-5]

The Knight of Swords - Eowyn: Rescue my heart

ʚ Pairing:   Eowyn x Any. Reader

ʚ Word count:  1141 words

ʚ Themes: Soft | Fluff | Comfort

ʚ Warnings : Mentions of coping with trauma and PTSD 

ʚ  Author’s notes: Eowyn as the knight of swords. The knight of wands is someone who, when at their best is determined, ambitious, tough. They can also be emotionally detached. 

The title and story was inspired by the track of the same name, by Liz Longley

Disclaimer : I don’t own the original image in this edit. Full credit to original ownet.

Every day it was the same.

Wake up, armour up, saddle up, and ride off to fight the last of Sauron’s forces. All but small pockets remained, but Éomer wanted to rid the land of its enemies. It was a promise he had made to his people when he took his place on the throne, and he wasn’t going back on his word.

Eowyn, his sister, gladly helped her brother on his campaigns. She was his most trusted captain and advisor. She was also exhausted. She tired of all the fighting and numbed herself to all that went on on the battlefield. It was the only way she could stay sane. It worked, but it made her cold and aloof to all, even her brother. In time, this icy exterior only hardened, and Éomer despaired, wondering if his sister would ever return to her old self again. His sister despaired too. She tried to return to her old self but didn't know how to do it. She feared she would stay trapped in the frozen fortress she had put up around her. 

                                                           ⚔

Another year had passed, and Eowyn was having a bath and looking out a window. Despite the steam, she could still see the fields and valleys spreading out, all gold and green. The wheat fields had finally prospered, and Rohan no longer had to depend on Gondor for aid. It was a huge relief, really.

Her gaze drifted to the nearby meadows, now overrun with flowers. There were so many blooms she probably would not be able to name them all. She was, however, suddenly overcome with the urge to collect a few. Her rooms suddenly felt drab and cold and needed some livening up. She finished her bath, dressed, and left for the fields that had tempted her. 

                                                           ⚔

The weather had been mild, with a cool breeze blowing through leaves. Eowyn took a deep breath and felt her muscles go lax. 

If only all days could be like this.

“Morning, my lady!” You call out after seeing her near a fence. “I haven’t seen you come this way.”

That’s because fighting kept me away, she thought as she studied you. “Morning! And you are?”

You find yourself grimacing at your lack of manners. “Forgive me. My name is y/n of--"

"House Brightshield," Eowyn finished for you after seeing the crest on your shirt. "Is this your family's land?"

"Indeed." You take the reins so she can dismount. "And what brings the Lady of the Shield-arm to my doors?"

"This." Eowyn waved a hand at swathes of poppies and sunflowers, all ready to bloom. "Do you sell them?"

"I do," You let her walk ahead into a row of bright yellow flowers. "Mostly for the Summer solstice."

The summer solstice. An important festival in Rohan's calendar. "I see." Eowyn eyed the sunflowers, calculating how much she would need for her rooms. Their cheerful color would be just what she needed. "And how much would it cost me for this entire row?"

"The entire row?" 

"Aye." Eowyn sighed and looked at the stalks that stood over her. "The entire row."

You would have sputtered had you not remembered she was a princess and could clearly afford it. "Very well. I'll cut them down for you. Just give me five minutes to get a sickle and a bag."

                                                             ⚔

Eowyn had been seated on a fence post, waiting for you. "I hope you didn't mind the delay." You hold up a large bag for her to see. "I needed to get one big enough."

"I don't mind. I was just... thinking is all."

"About what?" You join her on the fence post after leaving the bag and sickle on a side. "Nothing," said Eowyn. "Everything. I mean, look at these flowers," she gestured to some poppies. "They simply go into the soil as seeds and grow into beautiful blooms. So easy, really."

"It's far from easy, I assure you." You said, wondering if she was really talking about flowers or something else altogether. "Take those sunflowers. They were an absolute pain to grow the first time around. The stalks kept wilting, and they got white mold. I thought of growing something else, but I didn't give up. By the time the third season came around, they would shoot out as if searching for the light."

"Do you think it's the same for people, y/n?" Eowyn asked suddenly. "To find their way back to the light?"

The real reason for her earlier comment becomes clear now. "I think so. With the right help, they can find their way back to the light, but only if they make the first step to seek it."

Eowyn sighed. "That's the problem. I know this person who is trying to find their way back, but after spending so much time in the darkness, they don't know how."

Was she talking about herself? "The fact that this person is even willing to admit to it is a good sign. Perhaps they should talk to the elves. I hear they have healers who help with this sort of struggle."

Éomer had suggested as such, even going so far as to ask if an elf should be invited to Rohan, so she wouldn't have to travel. Eowyn considered it. Perhaps she should take her brother up on his offer. 

"I'll tell them that." Eowyn looked to the gathering field, where large tents had been erected. Fair weather and the promise of a bountiful harvest had put everyone into a celebratory mood for tomorrow night's solstice feast. She had planned on attending but didn't want to do it alone. She didn't want to go with her brother either. Éomer was bringing his fiancée, and she didn't want to get in the way. She wasn't close to many, but she did feel an odd kinship with you. "Y/n, are you busy tomorrow night?"

"I'm planning on going to the feast tomorrow. Why?"

She looked pensive and hesitant. "Will you be going with anyone?"

You weren't and you had no clue on who to ask. "No. I will be going on my own." You couldn't ask her. As a princess, Eowyn outranked you, and she had to be the one to ask you. You would be presuming to act above your station otherwise. 

"Y/n," Eowyn licked her lips nervously and took the plunge. "Will you consider squiring me around tomorrow night?" 

Escorting the princess would be a great honor indeed, and you think you rather like her. "I would be honored to. And I will start my solstice duties by cutting those sunflowers for you. They're not going to harvest themselves."

Eowyn heard herself laugh, and felt a little crack where a wall of ice used to be. "Yes." She got off her perch and picked up the bag. "And I'll help you." 

#eowyn #eowyn of rohan #eowyn x reader #lotr #lotr imagine #eowyn imagine #reader insert #fanfiction #creative writing #writing #amwriting #writeblr #a world of whimsy writes

[dreamingofscully]

Surely, to the sea (3/7)

read on ao3 - chapter 1 / chapter 2

Rated: T Tags: Alternate Universe - Historical, Horror, Established Relationship

Playlists: Spotify, Youtube.  

@today-in-fic

CHAPTER 3

That evening, Mulder and Scully found themselves in a small room up on the second floor, lit by the soft, warm glow of candlelight. Pink diaphanous curtains fluttered in the breeze from the open window. Delicate white bed frames stood on opposite sides of the room. An armoire took up an entire corner, doodled hearts and names hidden at the base. Locked in time, from when Boyle’s twin daughters, Gloria and Gail, were still a part of his life. Sorrow and pride flashed in his eyes when the older man spoke of them. Thinking about her own tight-knit family, she wondered what had happened to tear his apart.

“So what do you think, Scully?” 

Mulder lounged on one of the twin beds, while she sat at the small vanity and brushed her hair.  Although she’d changed into a simple cotton nightgown, demure enough should she need to emerge from their room at night, she felt him tracing the line of her bare shoulder and the slope of her neck with his gaze. As she applied her cold cream she noted the flush blooming on her chest and rising to color her cheeks. Taking her time to put her cosmetics away, she gathered her thoughts.

“I have a theory that could explain some of his symptoms.”

Mulder grunted, and she heard the rustle of a bag and the crack of a sunflower seed. Swiveling on the small stool, she tried to look stern but failed utterly once she saw the look on his face. God, he was gorgeous. Clad in a thin cotton undershirt and boxer shorts, his hair disheveled and flopping over his forehead, begging for her intervention. The impish smile and the way his appreciative eyes grazed over her.

“I’m not going to be picking shells from the bed, am I?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“Why don’t you come over here and check?” He winked and patted the small space beside him.

She ignored him, and the spark that kindled between her thighs. Clearing her throat, she crossed her arms and tried her best to look unimpressed. The case. The case, Dana. She looked at the wall behind him and counted the stripes while she spoke.

“I know his symptoms are unusual, but presuming the physicians that examined Boyle ruled out the most common diseases that would explain his clinical presentation, there are still several conditions that I’m certain weren’t even pursued. The… the neurological symptoms, the arthropathy, the cachexia--”

“Whoa, Scully, you know I love it when you talk to me like that, but… what?” 

She paused, suppressing a smile. “The muscle soreness and unexplained weight loss. There’s something called Besnier-Boeck-Schaumann disease. It doesn’t fit the primary symptoms, but that’s not unusual. If he consents, I want to examine him tomorrow, check for papules or plaques along his back and extremities. It’s definitely not something an everyday family physician would think to look into.”

Mulder set the bag of seeds on the nightstand. “There’s more to him than the physical symptoms. Some sort of… presence. You two had a bit of a moment down there. I’m wondering if I should be jealous.”

“Well, what’s your theory then?”

Mulder shrugged.

“Possession? Radiation, a chemical contaminant or a high-frequency sound would explain the absence of wildlife surrounding his property, but it's also a sign of demonic possession. He quoted scripture, though, and didn’t shy away when I showed him my cross. And his priest would have called in an exorcist if they suspected anything. No, I don’t think you’d suspect the influence of a demonic entity.”

She sighed at Mulder’s continued silence.

“A haunting, maybe? A spirit focused upon him or the house? It might explain the electrical problems, the radio interference. How worn down he is from being tormented in his sleep… but he never reported any strange noises or objects being displaced. No temperature changes. And he hasn’t reported the feeling of a presence. I don’t think you’d go in that— what?”

“Scully,” Mulder was staring at her with a dazed expression, a smile spreading on his face. “I don’t know how it’s possible but I just fell in love with you all over again.”

“That’s not very helpful,” she said, though her chest tightened at his words. She nodded at the notepad on the nightstand beside him. “You’ve been looking at that symbol as if you recognize it.”

He grabbed the notepad and flipped to the page where he’d drawn the image, staring at it. “It’s like an itch in the back of my mind, Scully. Vaguely familiar.”

“What does it remind you of?”

He glanced at her, swallowed, then turned back to the page. “I-I’m not certain.”

“You’re the worst liar, Mulder.” 

His mouth tilted up, but he didn’t look at her or speak.

“Talk to me.”

“It looks like something I remember, but not exactly.”

“Remember from where?”

He traced his finger over the symbol. “You didn’t want to know about it, Scully.”

She exhaled, not realizing she’d been holding her breath. It was unusual for him to keep things from her. Usually, it was her that didn’t trust herself enough to open up. But Mulder? He shared everything. And the only reason he hadn’t been completely transparent about his work lately was because he’d been giving her space.

“The cult,” she stated.

“Yeah.”

A memory flashed through her head from their last case. Shadows and flickering light. An abandoned hospital corridor. Mulder taking off to chase something she pointed out. Then he was gone. Her frantic search. The basement. Earth and iron-tinged air. The image of him lying on that table: bloody and half-naked, surrounded by hooded figures. That night still haunted her dreams.

What snared her mind, digging in with sharp claws, was how they’d manage to escape. She did something. Reached inside herself. And because of her everyone in that room was dead. She’d been… trying not to think about it. Or talk about it. Mulder respected that and gave her space. A niggling part of her brain wished he loved her less and pushed her harder. Instead, it was up to her to push herself. Her heart raced.

“I need to know.”

He searched her eyes. “You sure?”

Taking a deep breath, she nodded.  

“C’mere.”

Taking her time, she blew out the candles scattered around the room and pulled back the curtains, bathing the room in moonlight. Outside, the night sky was flooded with stars. Her heart rate slowed while she picked out her favorite constellations among the celestial backdrop.

A single candle on the nightstand enveloped Mulder in golden light. The notepad laid abandoned on his stomach, his attention focused upon her. Inserting herself next to him, she closed her eyes and breathed him in. Soap, the earthiness of his sunflower seeds, and the comforting masculine scent that was just him. Wrapping her arm around his ribcage, she squeezed. 

“Hey, Scully, if you don’t stop wiggling we’re going to have to violate our non-consorting rule,” he murmured, pressing his lips to the top of her head. 

She giggled. “There’s not much room. I can move, if you’d prefer.”

“Not a chance.” His fingers wound through her hair and he brushed his hand along her shoulder. 

Her gaze was inevitably drawn to the notebook, rising and falling with his breath. From this angle she couldn’t see much of his hastily-scrawled drawing, yet couldn’t tear herself away. Apprehension tore away at the edges of the comfortable place she’d forced herself to inhabit.

“The symbol reminds me of one I saw in the basement,” he started. She latched onto Mulder’s shirt. “I’d been there a while before you came, gave me a chance to look around.”

“Only you, Mulder, would be able to memorize your surroundings in a time like that.”

He shrugged. “I saw it in some of the books Xandros gave me afterwards.”

“But it’s not exactly the same one?”

“No, it’s upside down and there’s some additional lines.” He lifted the notepad, indicating the parts of the image that didn’t fit.

Her stomach twisted once again. Even she could not deny the significance. No coincidence, then. She swallowed, breathing through her nose.

“It hurts to look at it, Mulder.”

He closed the page.

“No, I’ll be okay,” she insisted.

“I shouldn’t have… Maybe this is too soon.”

“No, Mulder.” She leaned up on an elbow and looked him in the eye. “Boyle needs our help. I’ve spent enough time trying to deny what happened. I’ll be fine.”

His mouth twisted. “What if… Scully, when you collapsed during our last case I was terrified. I-I didn’t know what was going on, if you were going to be okay.”

His worried face was the first thing she saw when she woke up in a hospital a few hours later. He’d carried her out of there, and she could only imagine how it had made him feel. Maybe it wasn’t all on her for denying what happened. Maybe he thought he could do this all on his own, and by leaving her out he could protect her. A flash of stubbornness crowded out her uneasiness.

“I’m okay,” she emphasized. “And we’re a team. Don’t forget that.”

“Never.” His eyes shone at her.

“Show me.”

He opened the book again. Gritting her teeth, she forced herself to examine the symbol with an objective eye. Separating herself to look at it like she would a corpse on her autopsy table. A victim, yes, but with answers written in their flesh. Justice, or closure for their families, that only she could give. 

She thought about post-mortem injuries, how they masked cause of death. Instead of looking at the wounds as a whole, she had to examine them as events that told an entire story, separating them in her mind.

“If you take out the symbol you recognize, what are you left with?” she asked. 

“Huh.” Mulder flipped the page and started sketching. She felt him vibrate underneath her. “I think these could represent a pair of letters. J’s or G’s maybe. That’s it, Scully - you’re a God-damned genius!”

“Mul--” 

He kissed her soundly, running his thumb across her cheeks. Heat rose from the base of her spine, expanding across her limbs. When he pulled away, much too soon, she forgot what she was protesting.

She settled back onto his chest, his attention already back on the new symbols he’d drawn. This was how it was supposed to work. Unlike the last few weeks, isolated from each other. Pretending things were normal. Her smile faltered. 

“Tell me about it,” she said. She’d lain in ignorance far too long.

“The symbol?”

“What do you know about it?”

“Well, it represents something called a chthonian,” he started. “The cultists have adopted it from a Greek word, ‘khthon’, which translates to ‘under, or beneath the earth’. It was commonly used to represent Greek Gods associated with the underworld - Hades and Persephone - and the rituals and cults that surrounded them. Although the cult use it for their own purposes rather than the original meaning.”

Toying with the hem of his shirt as he told his tale, she let herself relax. Felt her nerves settle with the timbre of his voice. 

“For the cult, a chthonian is a subterranean creature with worm-like bodies and tentacles. It burrows through the earth, consuming it. Although it usually lives close to the earth’s core, there have been stories of people encountering it in caves and other underground passages close to the surface.”

“You think we’re dealing with a giant worm?”

“Maybe? The symbol is our only clue so far, but it’s been altered, and upside-down. I don’t know enough about the language to know if that’s significant. When I read up about all of these things, this was only one creature of many--”

“Mulder, I don’t… It’s one thing to know that these cultists are performing dark rituals, human sacrifice. But monsters out of some storybook? We never saw any evidence of that.”

“Scully, Xandros and his Cohort have been studying these things for centuries.”

“And you trust him?” She leaned up on her elbow.

He exhaled. “No, I don’t. But I’ve seen things, Scully. And you’ve experienced them.”

He chewed on his lower lip. She nodded, averting her gaze and laying back down. 

“I don’t know what the connection is, yet. Perhaps it’s only symbolic, a curse placed upon him. Or maybe there is such a creature here, and it’s somehow feeding off Boyle? Or he’s not being entirely truthful about his involvement. What we do know is that he was targeted.”

He rambled on for several more minutes, and she listened. She wasn’t sure if she was ready, but she didn’t have a choice. Her eyes drifted closed, though sleep still felt far away. Endorphins. Released into her bloodstream during pleasurable activities - sex and exercise, and in her case, discussing cases with Mulder. She’d missed this. She sighed, kissed his palm.

His voice faded, his arm tightening around her. “I’ve missed talking to you, babe. Missed you.” 

“I just thought the same thing.” She tilted her head to look up at him.

He ran his finger along the bridge of her nose. “We’ll figure this out, Scully. I promise you that.”

If anyone could find answers, it would be him. 

“For now, let’s sleep, unless…” He waggled his eyebrows.

“No, Mulder,” she laughed, wishing she could say yes.

“Worth a shot.” Mulder pouted, a twinkle in his eye. He put the notebook and pen on the nightstand. Blew out the candle. Cool light of the moon and stars surrounded them. He pressed his lips against her forehead, lingering there for several breaths. “Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Before long, Mulder’s breathing evened out and his soft snores vibrated against her ear. She pulled the thin sheet around her. She recited the names of the muscles in her hand. Counted Mulder’s breaths and tried to match their easy cadence. Buried her nose against the thin cotton of his shirt. Still, her mind would not settle. 

She forced herself to focus on other things. The first time they slept in the same room, watching over Mulder’s sister when she was sick. He didn’t sleep, didn’t talk. His presence was enough to ease her mind, even then. She pretended to sleep, watching his silhouette in the cover of darkness. Wanted to tell him to join her on the long couch instead of sitting uncomfortably on the green velvet chair. To feel his arms around her, his warmth.

She nuzzled closer. Pretended to sleep. Imagined herself finding the courage to ask him to hold her that night. Her unease drifted in the back of her mind, still there, but muffled by memories. Finally, sleep claimed her.

#my fic #xf fanfic #alternate universe #project c #surely to the sea #au #historical au #horror

[more-than-a-princess]

@lightcreators asked: ❝  do  you  want  to make  a  deal  with  the  devil?  ❞ (from nagito komaeda)

Succession RP meme - No Longer Accepting!

She hardly ever heard the waves. It was surprising, really: she'd spent so much time on a tropical beach 'holiday' and yet Sonia never listened to the sea crash upon the shore. Or the cawing of seagulls, or the nighttime wildlife making themselves known. Night, she'd realized, had been reserved for three things: fretting over who was to die next in the confines of her cabin, investigating a murder, or most importantly, deep in conversation, if not other things, with him. What had changed, then, was the swift and painful removal of his company: the look on his face as he'd been taken away still lingered, the tears on her cheeks had not yet dried.

What she'd had left of Gundham Tanaka now lay wrapped around her shoulders, lingering near the slightly fraying edges of the hem. Sonia wore his scarf like a shawl, hastily tossed to her before he'd been dragged away, alongside the Four Dark Devas of Destruction. The reason for the fraying hems, the hamsters had squeaked their protest during that horrible trial and were now only subdued due to exhaustion. Or at least Sonia guessed, as all four of them wrapped themselves in folds of his plum-colored scarf. Well, hers now: it wasn't as if he was coming back to claim it.

She tugged it tighter over her shoulders. Not for the chill, but the fact that it still smelled of him, well before the scent of salt and sand and seawater would eventually take over. She hadn't bothered with making any sort of presentable effort in her appearance: the scarf and its squeaky residents had been tossed over a simple set of pajamas and slippers, the latter discarded beside her in the sand. She'd reached a point that if she'd stayed in her cabin alone, she might as well have gone mad and alerted the next killer to her state of distress, implicating that she too wished to be taken away. She'd promised Gundham otherwise, but alone and in the confines of her own mind, Sonia knew she wasn't quite as strong as she'd assured him to be. In that moment, she'd needed to tell him that she would fight. Now, she sat on a deserted, dark shore in her pajamas, her long blonde hair devoid of braids or bows or anything else to keep it neat and tidy. It tumbled down her back as freely as her tears down her face: makeup too had been a moot point by now.

She also hadn't bothered to turn up at dinner in the hotel that evening, or tell anyone regarding her whereabouts. That was why, then, she'd heard Nagito Komaeda announce himself as he approached. Had Hinata-san sent him, Sonia wondered, as she sniffled. Bringing a hand up to wipe at her red, swollen eyes, she exhaled deeply at his particular choice of words.

"I'm fairly certain I already tried that," She replied ruefully, just as Cham-P wandered over and flopped right down in Sonia's lap. The large, orange hamster now occupied most of it, with softer squeaks of confusion, of sadness. She and the hamster both, Sonia thought, as she reached down to scratch him behind the ears. "I always thought Satan was more like an Albrecht Durer engraving and not a duochrome stuffed bear with a foul mouth and a terrible sense of humor. Neither Monokuma nor Tanaka-san would accept my deal anyway."

Sonia realized then that the chorus of pitiful squeaks might have meant the hamsters were hungry. She hadn't had the energy to pilfer about the kitchen when no one was looking, like a cat burglar seeking treasure, or in this case sunflower seeds for four hungry, sad hamsters. "Did Hinata-san send you, Komaeda-san?" She asked, looking up at him with a weary expression. She was reluctant to admit that her own stomach rumbled. "Because I missed dinner tonight at the hotel?"

"Don't worry," She spoke drily, digging her bare toes into the sand. "It's not as if I plan on killing anyone."

#more-than-a-princess answered #lightcreators #(Succession RP meme) #SDR2 verse #(Thanks for the ask! I hope this is makes sense and is clear) #(Basically setting this right after Gundham's execution)

[rougekithes]

Whats your verdict on what pet food tastes like, if you have a pet LMAO

Okay so, I don't have my own pets right now, but I've grown up with dogs, rats and when I moved out I had cats. And my parents currently own two wolfhounds, that I also take care of when I'm there or my parents are away for longer amounts of time.

And for context, I have hyposmia, means my nose doesn't function very well which also means I have a hard time tasting anything that you're not detecting with your tongue. So I can't tell you if something tastes like herbs, grains or anything else because my "tasting" is heavily relying on texture which... obviously pet food doesn't have XD

Dog and cat kibble is like... it tastes like nothing? Not salty, not bitter, not sweet, just nothing, very blant and just dry as fuck - don't recommend

Cat milk just tastes like regular old lactose free milk???

My rats just had some premixed food from the pet store so it's really just some seeds and grains, nothing wild really, just some oats, sunflower or pumpkin seeds, some corn, just more dry than what you would usually eat yourself. - not great, but in a pinch, sure, would eat again!

the dogs get some sort of milk and chocolate based (i think???) treats here and there, and my mom told me they're also edible for people but I never tried them until recently. They're also very boring, slightly less dry but still, not that great

I think I would try wet dog food? Like just a bit, out of curiousity? Wet cat food not so much, stuff stinks (again I say that as someone who has hyposmia). Though, comments on the poll said it's surprisingly much... nothing.

Moral of the story, pet food is super boring and I don't know why our pets are so into these things

#💌 kith mail

[plantbasedpagan]

Vegan Southern grits is what I call thee... (also days 3 - 5)

Day five should have been day 3 and 4. But here we are. Being an adult means you sometimes fall short on being functioning and following a schedule.

Sunday I ate something like I did this morning.

Grits with brussel sprouts chopped up and lightly pan fried in oil with some salt, granulated garlic, and pepper. I added some roasted peanuts then and creamed it up with vegan butter (Earth Balance). This morning it was roasted sunflower seeds. Yum. This dish probably already has 10+ grams of protein, so I'm happy with it. And the green bits are good for me too. Plus that sumo orange is soooooo good. If you ever have the opportunity to buy one, ripe, do it. So worth it if you like citrus.

And coffee. My morning is not complete without a bit of coffee and some coconut creamer in it.

Have you guys tried oat milk creamer? I can't find one I like and I'm trying to stay away from almonds since they're such hell on the environment. I really do enjoy soy and coconut though. I think loving coconut flavor is one thing that made becoming vegan much easier for me.

I think I got a bit off track...

So Sunday afternoon I definitely ate more snacks. But no chips! No no! roasted slated pecans, pumpkin seeds, and dried cranberries. Raisins are alright, but dried cranberries are the best dried berry.

I also had some popcorn both Sunday and Monday.

Monday morning was oatmeal with vegan butter, brown sugar, and chopped roasted and salted pecans. So good. Also had a sumo orange. Lunch on both Sunday and Monday was leftover tacos from Friday's dinner. (Having that today for lunch as well. Tacos are so good. It's a crime.)

Dinner Saturday night was a creamy couscous with spinach and beans, Sunday was leftovers (I can't seem to tire of tacos...), and Monday was a veggie dish with polenta. I definitely need to start taking pictures of all my meals. I'll make sure that happens this week.

#vegan #grits #southern #tacos #vegan tacos #sumo oranges #veggies #vegetables #weight loss #30 day diet #queer #pansexual #psychesexual #genderfluid #witchy #pagan

[jeninthegarden]

2023 Seed List

Up, up and away!

There was no fall planting.  The summer’s drought really killed the fall harvest and depressed my gardening spirit. So, there will be no rest this spring! Timing is everything, particularly in the spring. The trellises must go up as soon as the soil can be worked.  The peas and pea fences must be removed promptly so that they do not shade over seedlings and so the rutabaga can be planted in their place.  The root crops and spinach and lettuce must be thinned sooner. The corn has to be planted sooner so it is strong enough for the beans. The tomatoes/eggplants/peppers must be separated and repotted sooner so they get bigger before they are transplanted. The greenhouse box greens have to be eaten sooner.  The plants need to be fertilized at the correct time. The fences and gates must be secured, and stay secured so that the groundhog doesn’t get in.  Some plants (corn, squash, sunflowers) must be germinated inside so the squirrels do not dig up the seeds and sprouts.  Some plants (eggplant, peppers) must not be transplanted out until June because the sun’s angle will burn them in the spring.

Note that if I can, I purchase from PineTree Seeds because their prices are the lowest, always. This year, Johnny Seed has been the most expensive, so I have limited my purchases from them.  I’ve also tried to get more seeds from Hudson Valley Seeds and Fruition Seeds because both companies are actually in my planting zone and offering seed varieties that grow here, and that I should therefor be able to grow here without too much difficulty. Note to self: many of my seed orders have come with a “10% off your next order” coupon, so I’m being rewarded for forgetting to order certain seeds, or for impulse shopping after my seed shopping is done.

The following seed list is comprised of just the edibles I am ordering.

Legumes:

Bush beans: “Velour” – no surprise.  A compact, bush-habit plant, very heavy-bearing bright purple, stringless pods over a long season.  This is my top choice for bush beans. Very heat and drought tolerant. This past season it was the only summer bean to produce.  Finding it can be tricky, but this year I ordered it from PineTree Seeds.

Fava beans- I have a pack of Pinetree Seeds “Varoma” left from last year. “Sweet Loran” from Territorial Seeds is a fall sown variety that takes 250 days to germinate, so I’m committing to some fall sowing this year.  But I am also buying “Aquadulce” from RH Shumway, which is the fastest growing variety, ready in just 80 days.

Noodle beans – I bought the delicious, nutty flavored. “Yardlong Red” from the Vermont Bean Seed Company last year and never got them in the ground. So will work on getting the trellises up early, since these are too heavy to grow on the corn stalks.

Pole beans- Not getting the corn planted meant none of these were planted. I still have Vermont Bean Seed Company’s “Tarbais” a small white, pole bean from a little village in the south of France of the same name, which are cassoulet beans, and “Succotash”, a marble shaped, black, pole bean that can be dried, which is thought to have originated in Rhode Island by the Narragansett Indian Tribe. “Winged Bean” aka asparagus bean was weird looking and weird tasting and I have grown it with limited success, so, yeah I bought some more (from PineTree Seeds).

Runner beans: Likewise, the runner beans were never planted. So, I have 2 packets of “Black Coat”, an ancient heirloom from Pinetree (which is a red-blossomed, black bean) left to be planted this year.  

Shelling Peas: Going with “Alaska Early” again, from Territorial Seeds, just 57 days to maturity. And “Wando” from Eden Brothers which is both heat and drought tolerant.

Snap Peas: These produced well and were very tasty. We will plant all these again. “Sugar Magnolia”, which have violet pods, and “Spring Blush” a pink-tinted pod, and “Opal Creek” which are a golden green color, all from Pinetree.

Soybeans- I ordered “Karikachi” soybeans from Pinetree seeds, which are supposed to be tall and prolific. They certainly germinated well last year, but the groundhog was the only one to enjoy them.

 Fruits:

“Cardoon” from Fruition Seeds – they are perennial, so I thought I’d attempt them this year.

Corn – “Sweetness” a fast-growing robust stalk sweet corn, and “Kandy Korn” a taller, standard season sweet corn, both from Territorial Seeds.

Cucumber- “Early Cluster Russian” from R H Shumway is a prolific, climbing cucumber. “Double-Yield” from Territorial Seeds is a vigorous and hardy variety good for pickling and slicing.

Eggplant – I decided to go with a Japanese fingerling “Ping Tung” and a standard globe Italian “Black Beauty”, both from Fruition Seeds because they are cultivated successfully in a nearby location.

Gourds- No gourds this year! This statement will be revised later when I impulsively buy gourd seeds.

Melon – They all germinated last year, but none grew or blossomed.  Bought more “Iroquois Cantaloupe” (standard sized, thickly netted skin, good northern grower) from Hudson Valley Seed. And I bought “Navajo Gold” (a smooth skinned, yellow fleshed melon) from PineTree Seeds.

Okra – “Jambalaya” from Territorial Seeds is a cold hardy, compact plant.

 Pepper – “Pica Chile Mix” (a mix of hot pepper seeds) from Hudson Valley Seed Company.  “Fish Hot Pepper” an African cultivar, and “Monster yellow” an 8 inch bell peppers from Baker Creek. I still have a lot of saved seeds (also hot peppers) from making cowboy candy in the fall, so I will start some more.  I don’t want to talk about Datil peppers of Saint Augustine, Florida right now; like the gourds, impulse buying is not hard to imagine.

Tomatoes – “Black Beauty” a blue/black beefsteak tomato, “Evil olive” a black, red and green cherry tomato, “Big Rainbow” a yellow, red, orange striped beefsteak tomato, “Bread and Salt” red, beefsteak tomato, all from Baker Creek.  I have several varieties left from last year: “Climbing Triple Crop”, a red beefsteak that climbs 10-15 feet, “Pineapple” a beefsteak heirloom that is yellow with red blotches, and “Pork Chop” which is a large beefsteak yellow with dark green stripes. And I stumbled on a new hybrid from Fruition Seeds called “Finger Lakes Long Paste” that is a prolific and cold hardy paste tomato developed by Cornell University.

 Watermelon: “Golden Midget” from Eden Brothers which is small and early fruiting with a yellow rind and pink interior. “Blacktail Mountain” from Baker Creek, smaller and cold hardy, green rind and pink flesh, easy to grow.

Winter Squash and pumpkins: “Cornell's Bush Delicata” (a bush variety delicata – I love delicata because it’s thin skin is edible when roasted), “Violina Rugosa Butternut” (a skinnier, elongated butternut with a very small seed cavity), “Long Island Cheese Pumpkin” (a very meaty round, orange squash) from Hudson Valley Seed Company.  I have leftover also bought “Baked Potato” winter squash from Burpee. “Jarrahdale Blue pumpkin” a blue, dense pumpkin with meaty flesh for savory dishes, and “Marina de Chioggia” a warty, green pumpkin that is best for sweets and pies, both from Baker Creek.

Zucchini- I still have leftover seeds: Vermont Bean Seed Company catalogue “Vermont Hybrid Medley” pack of 4 types of zucchini: green, green-gold, gold and yellow, that are all compact bush varieties that grow well in the Northeast; a round green, French heirloom variety called “Rond de Nice”; a pale green, patty pan summer squash called “Peter Pan” from Burpee which is described as much meatier than other patty pan squash; and “Scalloped Blend” from Eden Brothers, of 6 different colored patty pan squash.

Roots:

Beets: “Brilliant Beet Blend” from Hudson Valley Seed Company. But then, because I want beet greens, I bought “Early Wonder Tall Top” from PineTree Seeds.

Carrot: pelleted seeds was a waste.  So back to regular seeds, I’ve ordered “Oxheart” a round ball carrot and “Chanteney” a long variety, from PineTree Seeds.   And I ordered “Rainbow Mix” from Eden brothers.

Celeriac: “Balena” from Johnny Seed, a larger and bolt resistant hybrid.

Parsley Root: “Arat” from Pinetree is a long, slender root that tastes like a cross between carrots and celeriac.

Parsnips: Ordered “Warrior” from Territorial Seed which is a foot long variety.

Potatoes:  going back to growing them in containers. I will buy some from the store and sew them to avoid the horrible shipping costs. But am wanting to try Row 7’s butter flavored potato.

Radish:  “Karami Green” is a green radish that is supposed to taste like wasabi.  “Cherry Bell” is a 3-week radish good for spring or fall panting. Both are from Territorial Seeds. “Red King” a large, sweet daikon radish from Johnny Seed.

Rutabaga: “American Purple Top” from Eden Brothers, a good winter keeper with orange flesh.

Sweet Potatoes: “Japanese Marasaki” growing my own slips over winter.  Will grow in containers.

Turnips: “Hinona Kabu Japanese” from Pinetree, these look like pink carrots and are specifically for pickling. Very good crop so I bought them again. “Purple Top” from RH Shumway, a traditional white globe, sweet turnip.

Greens:

Arugula: “Arugula” the fast growing spring variety from PineTree Seeds.

Chard: “Silverado Chard” large, white from Hudson Valley Seed Company.

“Claytonia” from Baker Creek. It is a succulent green that looks like a bouquet of little lily pads.

Escarole:  “Bavarian Broadlead” from Eden brothers.

“Fenugreek” from Eden Brothers. Not popular – nobody else is selling them.

“Ice Lettuce” from Pinetree, which is not actually lettuce. It did not germinate last year, so I will try again.

Lettuce: “Flashy Butter Oak”, “Buttercrunch Bibb”, and “Blushed Butter Oak” lettuces from Hudson Valley Seed Company. “Chicken Lettuce” from R H Shumway is a lettuce that re-grows quickly and can withstand nibbling from chickens.

Mache: “Mache Green” from PineTree seeds because it was on sale.

“Mitsuba” from Pinetree. It’s Japanese parsley, or Chinese celery. It tastes like parsley-celery? Did not germinate last year so I bought it to try again.

Nettles: “Stinging Nettle” from Hudson Valley Seed Company, never made it into the ground.

Orach: “Red Orach” from Baker Creek; a violet red, velvet leafed spinach that grows on an 18 inch, upright stalk.

Purslane: “Goldberger” from PineTree Seeds.

Radicchio: “Fiero” a green with burgundy edges, upright radicchio that looks like romaine lettuce from Johnny Seeds.

“Saltwort” from Pinetree, a succulent that actually tastes salty.

Spinach: “Bloomsburg Long Standing” from Eden Brothers is a bolt resistant, upright meaty dark green leaf.

“Watercress” from Baker Creek.

Winter Mache: “New York Hardy Mache” 250 Seeds from Fruition Seeds

Winter Mesclun: “Winter Green Mesclun Mix” 400 Seeds from Fruition Seeds

Winter Spinach: “Giant Winter Spinach” 175 Seeds from Fruition Seeds

Brassica:

Asian Greens: “Tatsoi Greens” from Hudson Valley Seed Company.  The gold standard for large rosettes, spoon-shaped leaves, tenderness, mild flavor.

Broccoli: “Noble Jade” a Chinese broccoli kale, “Bonarda” a purple, sprouting broccoli that can over-winter,  both from Johnny Seed.  For standard broccoli I will buy local seedlings.  

Chinese Cabbage: “Tokyo Bekana” is a Chinese cabbage that looks like a very pale, lemon-lime chard.  “Miss Hong” a red Chinese cabbage that is tall and pointy leafed like romaine lettuce.  Both from Johnny Seed.

Cauliflower: “Baby Hybrid” a small 3 inch heads with edible leaves, from RH Shumway.  Other than that, I will buy seedlings of “Fioretto” an open head, branching cauliflower.

Collards: “Morris Heading Collards” from RH Shumway is a bit like Portuguese Kale. “Hen Pecked” from Fruition Seeds, looks like Russian Kale – a bit lacy, maybe thinner and easier for the chickens to eat.

Kale: “Sea Kale” perennial seeds from PineTree seeds.  “Thousand Head” a monster kale with smooth, 3 foot leaves from Baker Creek.

And, because they seem to go with the brassicas in planting rotations, the alums:

Chives: “Common Chives” 400 more seeds from Fruition Seeds to start right after Christmas.

Garlic:  Will purchase seed garlic locally and plant in the fall.

Leek: “Tadorna” from Fruition Seeds. 75 Seeds to start right after Thanksgiving. But just to hedge my bets, I ordered 50, pencil width seedlings of “Lancelot” from RH Shumway.

Onion: I am doing the regrow project

Scallions: I am doing the scallion regrow project.

Shallots: “Cuisse du Poulet du Poitou Shallot” from Fruition Seeds are shallots the size of a chicken thigh.

Flowers for companion planting:

Cosmos:  I ordered the Park Seed “Cups & Saucers”.  

“Edible Flower Mix” from Hudson Valley Seed Company

Marigold:  benefits so many things in the garden. I not only grew the bigger “Mission Giant Yellow” which looks like an imperial chrysanthemum, blossoms 3 inches across, I saved lots of the seeds and will plant them again this year. It is also taller so it can be planted with taller plants. And I bought the orange version “Spun Gold” from Baker Creek.

Nasturiums: “Tall Mix” from Eden Brothers.

Zinnias: “Benary Mix” from Eden Brothers.

Herbs for companion planting:

Basil: “Queen of Siam” Thai basil, and “Mammoth” lettuce leaf sized basil, from Eden Brothers

Borage: I have seeds left from previous years, and it self-seeds.

Dill: “Elephant” long standing, bolt resistant from Eden Brothers.

“Lovage” a 6 foot, perennial cutting celery from Baker Creek.

Marjoram:  I will purchase locally

Tarragon: I will purchase locally and interplant some with the Rosemary.

Angelica: “Holy Ghost” by Eden Brothers.

Grains and Seeds:

Poppy Seeds:  “Breadseed Poppy” flowers from Hudson Valley Seed Company.  Because.

Amaranth: “Red Garnet” from Pinetree, profuse edible leaves.

Millet- The chickens love millet. “Red Millet” from Fruition Seeds.

[stardewtales]

Your shane x reader are some of the first I read when i got into sdv, and they still hold a li special place in my heart <3 I love the way you wrote shane, jas, and the farmer (you kept the farmer rather neutral, but you still gave her moments of personality, rlly great stuff!), anyway, I'd love any shane related stuff you would do, but if your looking for a request, the reader teaching him abt farming/gardening (planting hot peppers together eee) i think would be rlly cute-ok bye lysm!!!

A/N: hey lovely!! If you're still around, thank you so much for this. I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to get to your request, but here it is! Hope it lives up to your expectations xx

Shane can feel you hovering behind him.

"What is it," he groans, not bothering to turn around.

"Sorry," he hears you say. "Just, be careful with the roots, please? I don't want all your work to be for nothing."

Well, he can't exactly fault you for that. If anything, he's ashamed because he was distracted while you showed him the whole thing about the roots.

He turns to look at you. "Would you, uh... mind showing me again?"

His stomach twists as you smile at him, thoroughly amused. "Sure thing. Here, let me get in there..."

You kneel beside him, knees firmly planted in the dirt beside his. You proceed to show him how to dig around the roots instead of into them for a second time that afternoon. For a second time, he finds it hard to focus with you so close, but he fights that a little harder this time.

"Here," you hand him back the trowel, "give it another shot."

He can't miss the way the look you give him is so damn encouraging. You've given him plenty of variations on that look by now, with various degrees of concern thrown into the mix. He proceeds to try digging up the pepper plant again, the sun boring down on the back of his neck as he does it.

"Am I getting it right, now?" he asks, glancing up at you quickly.

"Couldn't do it better myself," you nod exaggeratedly, and he fakes throwing dirt at you in retaliation.

It gets a laugh out of you, clear and joyful. It stirs something inside him, the feeling that's been nagging at him sort of often these days. It hits him like a ton of bricks in that moment that this is the feeling he used to chase all the way down the bottles, the sort of rush he used to think would make up for everything else.

He must've made a face when he realized it, because your brows furrow in concern.

"Are you o-" you start, but you're cut off short by a girlish squeal further down the field.

Him and you both shoot up, surveying the surroundings.

"Jas?" you half-shout, concerned.

"I think I need some help," her voice pipes up sheepishly, and the two of you finally spot her, fallen on her butt among the sunflowers.

You huff, relieved, and tell him you've got it with a brief touch on his arm before you leave in Jas's direction. Now that he knows she's not hurt, he can go back to making sense of his thoughts, yet he barely registers the lingering feeling of your fingers on his forearm.

He kneels and gets back to work, distraught. His first instinct is to worry. The therapist Harvey connected him with cautioned him pretty early on about the way some addicts replaced one addiction with another, and that all good things should perhaps be enjoyed in moderation while he was on the road to recovery.

You're the best thing in his life by far, but he failed to keep you at arm's length a long time ago now. He's not dense enough to be unaware that he's developed some pretty strong feelings for you. But this particular feeling is new-ish, and he doesn't quite know what to make of it. As his fingers dig up the pepper plant out of the ground and he gently removes chunks of dirt from the roots, Shane hopes really hard this doesn't mean he's allowed himself to veer all the way of the right path he's been trying so hard to stick to.

He hates to think about it, but maybe he needs to cool off on seeing you so often so he can at least get a grip. He can't even recall the last time he went a day without seeing you. Sometime in the spring, probably? It's the very end of summer now.

After he's transferred the plant to the wheelbarrow, Shane stands up and looks around. You're still helping Jas uproot some sunflowers, even though her initial job was just to collect the stray seeds. Officially, he and her were there to help you wrap up the summer crops so you could transfer some to your greenhouse. In reality, he was helping you; Jas was causing more trouble than she was helping, but you didn't seem to mind at all, more than happy to show her over and over how to handle things properly.

He didn't know how you did it. It's like you had an endless well of patience, and he knew he ought to have reached the pit of it by now. And yet, he had not. There were depths to your kindness that reached far enough that even after dealing with him through his recovery, you still had plenty left for Jas in all her fumblings and ill-advised adventures.

For the rest of the afternoon Shane managed to clear his mind and just keep working somewhat efficiently. Marnie came around just before dinnertime to get Jas, who was too exhausted from running around by then to protest. Marnie had also let him know she'd save him a portion of dinner for when he came home, but to take his time, which he'd made sure to thank her for.

It wasn't long until Jas left before you and him moved on to replanting the uprooted plants into the greenhouse. He liked that part more than the digging up; liked the hazy warmth of the greenhouse more than the blaring heat of the field. The two of you worked mostly in silence, both exhausted, him perhaps more than you.

After you planted the last of yours and he was halfway through his own last plant, he heard you clap your hands together to shake the dirt off your gloves, before you fully shrieked.

"What's wrong?" he quickly turned towards you.

"Your neck!" you replied, walking over to him. "Did you not put on sunscreen like I told you to?"

Shane instinctively reaches for the back of his neck, and while the sunburn doesn't hurt yet, he can feel the tell-tale heat coming off of it.

"Ah, shit. Think I missed a spot."

You tut at him, shooing his hand off so you can take a better look.

"You big idiot," you chastise him affectionately. "You're lucky I have an infinite amount of aloe in the house from last summer."

**************

As Shane steps out of the shower and into your steam-filled bathroom, he can already tell he'll be sore from all this work. He doesn't know how you do this every day. He tries to get a look at himself in the mirror, but it's too fogged up. Probably better that way, he thinks.

He's used your shower plenty of times before, and he's glad that at the very least it doesn't feel as awkward as it used to. While he was still in the pits of getting sober, you'd graciously let him stay over on your couch so Jas didn't have to see him struggle when it got too hard. He still doesn't know why you did that, or how to repay you for it.

After putting on his clothes, he steps out into your living room, where you're waiting for him with a huge tub of the goo you intend to smear on his sunburn. You've showered too, and made him do it after you because otherwise you claimed he'd just wash off the aloe later, which was probably right.

"C'mere," you beckon him over to sit on the arm of your couch.

He chuckles. It's funny to him, how bossy you get when you're trying to take care of him. Nevertheless, he does as he's told and dutifully sits down like you instruct him. And waits.

Nothing happens.

"You okay back there?" he asks, looking over his shoulder.

You raise a brow. "Aren't you gonna take off your shirt? How am I supposed to get this on you otherwise?"

He feels a bubble of panic rush up. He's in better shape than he used to be, but he's still not much to look at, and he doesn't like the idea of you finding that out like this. "Is that really necessary?"

You sigh, and he knows there will be no convincing you. He feels the tips of his ears burn as he lifts his shirt over his head, dropping it at his feet and taking precious care not to look back at you. "Happy?" he mumbles.

"Hmhm," you hum quietly behind him.

You bring your aloe-coated fingers to his burning skin, and instantly he feels consumed by ice-cold flames. He was not prepared for you to touch him quite so gently, to work the gel into his skin in tiny, careful circles. His throat runs dry as he's reminded of his earlier conclusion that he needs to take some time away from you, for both of your sakes. If the way his body is reacting to this isn't proof, he doesn't know what would be.

You let him know you're done, and he promptly puts his shirt back on. He wishes he hadn't when the stickiness gets a hold of the collar.

"So, just a heads up," you start, screwing the jar of aloe vera shut, "I'm gonna be really busy tomorrow I think. So maybe hanging out in the evening when I'm done would be better?"

He's taken aback by the way this is coming up faster than he anticipated. Still, No time like the present I guess, he thinks to himself.

"About that," he clears his throat, "I think it might be better if I spend some alone time for a while."

He watches you still. You look up at him slowly, visibly confused. "Have I done something wrong?" you ask, and it kills him. "I'm sorry if I have, I know I can be a little overbearing sometimes," you start to ramble, but he cuts you off.

"No, no, none of that," he tries to reassure you. "It's just, uh, how do I say this," he scratches at his head, genuinely at a loss. "Remember how I told you my therapist said I should, like, maybe be careful about things I enjoy a lot? And about... strong emotions?"

You nod, but he can tell from your slight frown you're still confused.

"Well, it's kinda like that. I feel really good when I'm with you. Maybe a little too good. Strong stuff. But I don't wanna depend on you to feel... good. I wanna keep this healthy, yeah?"

You ponder his words, and he can tell he hasn't really gotten his point across. "I mean, I think I get where you're coming from, maybe? But Shane, I think it's okay for you to have a support system. Is it really so bad if being with a friend makes you feel good? I think that's how most people feel."

He shakes his head, huffing. "No, it's not like that."

"Then what is it like?"

His eyes meet yours, and he feels weak. "Please don't make me say it," he whispers.

"Shane," you reach out to touch his shoulder, "You're worrying me."

He swallows. Before he knows it, it tumbles out of him. "I have feelings for you. I have for a while. And lately it's gotten a little out of control. So I need some time away from you to get over it, okay? I don't want things to be weird. I need you too much to have things be weird. So I need to figure it out before it gets there."

You stare at him, and he sees so many emotions run across your face that he gets dizzy.

"You... what?" you say quietly after a while.

He feels heat rise from his chest all the way to his ears, like some twisted type of nausea. "Forget it, alright? That's not the point I'm trying to make. I just..." he breathes, "I'll see you in a few days, yeah?"

He doesn't wait for a response. He goes for the door right away, in a real hurry to leave this place where everything is so blatantly yours, down to the smell of your lotion lingering in the air from your bare legs.

But you don't let him leave. He feels your hand on his arm, a real grip this time, and the next thing he knows you're reaching for his neck and bringing his mouth to meet yours. Shane thinks he's forgotten how to make his blood run, how to make his lungs breathe, how to make his limbs move. You're pressing your lips on his with a fervor he didn't even know you had in you. Then, with an instinct of its own, his body kicks back into gear, and he feels himself wrapping his arms around you, bringing you closer yet as he pours all the energy he has left into kissing you back.

It's desperation that compels him, because he never imagined this would ever happen outside of his mind, outside of his daydreams. He's not even convinced he'll ever get to do it again, so he's making this one count.

He genuinely has no idea how much time has passed when you break away from him, panting. You're not saying anything, just searching his eyes with yours.

"Please say something," he eventually breathes.

He watches as you swallow, then exhale loudly. "I don't want to see you in a few days only. I wanna see you now and in the middle of the night and every moment of every day. I don't want you to go and get over me, because I don't think I'll be able to get over you if you do, Shane. So don't leave me. Stay. Please."

Your words fluster him a great deal more than he already is. "Okay," he nods, in a half-daze.

"Yeah?" you make sure, still catching your breath.

"Yeah," he confirms. "Anything for you. Of course."

#shane x reader #shane x farmer #stardew shane #sdv shane #stardew valley x reader #stardew valley shane #stardew valley #sdv

[maneskin-dimensione]

I fiori non hanno genere.

Summary: Men deserve flowers too.

Word count: 5,743.

Warnings: Plenty of of google translate in here so I'm sorry if the translations aren't accurate and probable overuse of Italics?

Author's note: So this came about after I saw a post on my dash that @daddydamiano reblogged of Maneskin at Sanremo of Damiano taking a bouquet of flowers on night four instead of Victoria and so this was born and I'm really pleased with how it's turned out!

There's no mention of the reader having a name, they're just referred to as "You" or by petnames. Although there are several mentions of the reader liking flowers and a little backstory, i've tried to make this once as accessible as possible? I hope it worked and it's okay.

Please enjoy: likes, comments and reblogs fuel me so please let me know if you liked it!

....

You loved flowers.

Living in close proximity to a florist when you were younger, you were never without access to flowers; one of the best parts of your day would be to pass by the open shop door and get a whiff of flowers on your way to and from school.

Your house growing up had also been full of flowers, your mom coming home with a new bouquet every week to brighten up the kitchen or your brother coming home having picked some from the neighbour's garden; your mom would grumble and insist he give them back but the neighbour was a sweet old lady who always insisted he keep them, thrilled that somebody had taken an interest in them.

You also grew your own flowers too, your grandparents' only too happy to encourage you in your childhood hobby. They'd gift you with seeds of flowers they liked: Roses, sunflowers, Violets, buttercups, lilies or whatever they could get their hands on - your parents approved, they believed it promoted responsibility because after all, if you neglected your flower, it would die and to six-year-old you, that was unacceptable.

(It had happened once and you'd cried for days)

Your love of flowers had passed from your childhood into adulthood. In the apartment you shared with your friend, you always made sure (much like your mother had done) to have a new bouquet every week. You also kept windowsill boxes full of different flower seeds, making sure they got the right amount of water and sunlight every day. Although in your apartment block, there was no room for a garden of your own, you were lucky in the respect that your grandparents had set apart a piece of their own back garden for you to go over any time you wanted and plant whatever you felt like, the two of them often looking after the seeds for you when you were busy with school, and sending you updates via photos and clumsy texts on your phone.

Damiano knew you loved flowers and fed into your obsession, as he playfully called it.

He'd bring you home a bouquet if he was passing a florist or even if he wasn't, he'd make the extra effort to go to a florist to get you some, because he was a sucker for that smile on your face and the look in your eye that would occur because of it. If you were busy and had forgotten to replace the old bouquet with a new one, you'd come home to a beautiful new arrangement on the hallway table and if either of you were away, he'd order a bouquet online and have it delivered to you, with a typically cheeky little message on the card, just to let you know he was thinking of you.

Flowers were always a given from him on your birthday, your anniversary, valentines' day, when it was another special occasion with cause to celebrate or even just because he felt like it.

So, yes, you loved flowers and were showered with them, almost daily. But one thing you wondered: Has anyone ever given Damiano flowers? Has anyone ever showered him with flowers the way he did you?

The thought occurred to you that night, as you sat in your apartment, laptop opened in front of you to a word document with the cursor flashing back at you and papers covering the table and the floor. Samremo was on the TV before you and you were only half taking notice, waiting until your boyfriend and his friends took to the stage to give the show your complete and utter attention.

As soon as it was announced that Måneskin were next, you shoved your papers away, closed your laptop lid and sat up straight, eyes firmly fixed on the TV as Zitti e Buoni began to play - this song truly never failed to get you hyped.

But it was what happened after the performance that caused you to begin thinking about Damiano and flowers. As per the custom for all female performers, flowers were brought out for Victoria but before she could get to take them, your boyfriend approached.

"Oggi prendo io." he said, taking them into his grasp with a cheeky "Grazie."

A smile spread across your face as seeing how happy your boyfriend was as he carted the flowers off stage with him, waving them in salute to the camera and the orchestra and it wasn't long afterwards that you got a text from him, a photo of him with a cheeky smirk and the flowers in his grasp with a caption reading: "I feel so spoilt, amore."

Another text came through before you could respond to him, this time from Ethan, accompanied with a video of Damiano with the flowers still in his grasp, skipping around their dressing room and humming a bright tune.

"I think the flowers have put some kind of spell on him. Don't be surprised if he sends you a photo later of a flower crown he's made."

The video made you smile and got you thinking. If this was how happy your boyfriend could become by taking the flowers and subtly saying fuck gender norms on stage at Sanremo, how happy could he become when getting flowers that were actually meant for him?

....

A few weeks later, you were 95.9% convinced your plan was a good idea.

As soon as they had their Sanremo win, the guys threw themselves into Eurovision prep and almost-constant rehearsals, and between Damiano pretty much basing himself at Måneskin house in Milan and you knuckling down to get things finished for school in Rome, the two of you hadn't really seen much of each other - in person, at least; facetime and phone calls had been your way of communicating with each other for the last little while.

But you understood. You knew how hard they'd worked for the Sanremo win, but Eurovision was a different thing altogether. It wasn't just Italy they had to conquer, but the entirety of Europe and that would be harder than anything else they'd faced before; they were determined to make Zitti e Buoni even bigger and better - you weren't so sure how they could do that, but you had complete and utter faith that they could, no questions asked.

While Damiano, Vic, Ethan and Thomas insisted on practice, practice, practicing morning, noon and night and while you admired their determination, you were growing concerned they were forgetting what the outside of their studio looked like.

On the nights Damiano did manage to drag himself away from the rehearsal and face-time you, you could see the stress he was under, the tired bags under his eyes and it only further strengthened your resolve to go ahead with your plan. You knew he'd always felt the most responsibility for the band, considering he was the singer of the group - his own words - and while you knew your plan probably wouldn't make anything easier for him in that regard, you just wanted to put a smile back on his face.

So, now fully convinced and wearing a small smile, you turned on your laptop and began to look up the best florists in Milan.

-----

The first bouquet arrived that Wednesday morning.

The band had just finished up the first of three rehearsals they'd be having that day - Victoria finally stepping in and admitting to Damiano that she needed a small break and Ethan and Thomas quickly following suit.

It was as Damiano stalked through the halls to retrieve his lighter from his room that the doorbell rang and he answered it with a confused groan, quickly schooling his features into a polite expression; not many people knew this house was being used or even that they were here, so who the hell could it be?

Opening the door, he was surprised to see a delivery person, wearing a cheery smile and a stunning bouquet of sunflowers that, even Damiano had to admit, were wrapped beautifully.

"Buongiorno, signore," the man said, "I have a flower delivery here for you. Could you please sign for it?"

Shrugging, Damiano did as he asked and took the flowers in with a thank you, shutting the door behind him. He glanced over the flowers - they certainly were beautiful - but he guessed they were for Vic, since her grandparents often liked to send her things without warning.

"Vic!" he called, finding her by the pool, Ethan and Thomas already in it and kicking water at each other. "These just arrived for you."

"Did you get your lighter?" Ethan questioned, and Damiano shook his head.

"Got waylaid by these," he said, handing the bouquet over to Vic, her eyes wide as she took them in her hands. "Now I can go get my lighter. I have never needed to smoke more in my life."

"They're gorgeous," Damiano heard Vic gush as he walked away, all but sprinting to his room to grab his lighter and then back down to join his friends by the poolside. The three of them were huddled together, speaking in hush tones with Vic still grasping the flowers.

They glanced up as he approached them, all with a weird look on their faces.

"Damia," Vic said, her expression still unusual as she blinked up at him. Both Ethan and Thomas wore matching smiles and it caused Damiano to raise his eyebrow in response. "These flowers are for you, not me."

"No, they aren't, Vic." Damiano brushed off, rolling his eyes even as Victoria pulled the card from the stem and showed him an envelope with his name printed in cursive.

"Oooh, Damia has a secret admirer!" Thomas crowed, and Ethan grinned.

"Probably from a fan."  he mused, as Damiano opened the envelope and pulled out the card. "Who else would send Damia flowers?"

"Um, anyone in the world, because I'm just so lovable," Damiano said, smugly, flashing the three of them a look before scooping up the flowers and flouncing back inside.

Once he was in the relative quiet of his room, Damiano sank onto the bed, placed the flowers on the side table and focused his eyes on the little card that was filled with a handwritten message, the logo of the florist showing that they had been sent from a local florist in the city, so they'd arrive fresh. He didn't really know what to think about the flowers. They were beautiful, certainly, but there were no indications as to who they were from and what if Ethan was right, what if they had been sent from a fan? Not that he didn't appreciate it, but there was something worrying if fans were suddenly able to find the exact address of Maneskin house when it had never been published in the media or online anywhere.

Bidet curled up beside him as he read, purring as one of Damiano's hands began stroking their fur.

"I hope you're surprised!" It read in the florist's cursive, "Sunflowers symbolize loyalty, adoration and are just a happy flower, don't you think? I read that they're the perfect flower to send someone after they've achieved something so what better way to celebrate your historical victory at Sanremo? I hope you like them and that they brighten your day!"

Bemused now, Damiano placed the note down and glanced at the flowers again. They certainly were beautiful, obviously chosen by someone who knew about flowers and their meanings and had a passion for it and they had certainly brightened his day, but Damiano was at a lost at to who could be sending them to him.

A knock at the door pulled him out of his stupor, Bidet meowing in annoyance at being disturbed.

"Damia, come on!" Vic called through the door. "We're feeling refreshed enough for another rehearsal."

Sighing, Damiano stood up and took another glance at the flowers before shoving the card into his pocket.

If this was a fan, hopefully it would just be a one-time thing....right?

.....

The second bouquet arrived exactly a week later.

They'd just had their second costume meeting for Eurovision and all four of them were feeling good about the final design choice and the overall fabric choice - they'd been in unanimous agreement.

They arrived back to Måneskin house, high on the adrenaline of Eurovision feeling closer when Marta's assistant greeted them at the door, a smile on her face.

"Damiano, there's a delivery for you," she pointed to the hallway table that Vic insisted on bringing with her from a trip back to Denmark. On it sat a bouquet of Orange Lilies alongside another note, in unfamiliar handwriting.

Before he could reach for the note and open it, Victoria grabbed it and tore it out of the envelope, reading it aloud, despite Damiano's attempts at trying to wrestle it away from her.

"Orange Lilies symbolize passion," Victoria began, eyebrow raised in his direction, "and I guess - like the sunflowers -  I just thought of you when I saw them - thought of your passion for your music and your career and the people you love and it's one of my favourite things (one of several favourite things if I'm honest) about you. I bet you can already guess some of the others....."

"You really do have a secret admirer!" Ethan crowed, glancing over at Damiano, who had an unreadable expression on his face.

"It's not that I don't appreciate it." Damiano began slowly. He gestured to the flowers, "They're beautiful and it's so sweet that someone out there clearly thinks I need flowers in my life, but..."

"But?" Thomas raised an eyebrow, glancing up from where he was smelling the lilies.

"Who on earth is sending them?" Damiano bit out, grabbing the card and waving it about. "This one isn't signed, the first one wasn't either and both of them are in the florist's writing so there's no way I can tell from that."

"Damia, I think you need to take a breath," Ethan said, placatingly.

"How can I take a breathe when someone knows where we are?" Damiano rounded on him, eyes wide. "We've never published where the house is, only that It's in Milan. I thought the first time was just a joke but now...now it's getting weird."

"It's just flowers." Vic said, approaching him and grasping his wrists. "They aren't going to hurt you, okay? Look, I'm sure it's just some nice fans wanting to brighten your day, but if it bothers you that much and it keeps happening, just say the word and we'll draft something to post on Instagram. Buona?"

Damiano sighed and nodded, rolling his eyes as Thomas picked up the flowers from the table and shoved them in his hands. "Enjoy them, Damia, or I will. I wish someone would send me flowers."

"I'll send you some flowers, Cucciolo," Ethan cooed, running his fingers through Thomas' hair. "What kind would you like? Lilies like Damiano? Roses? Or how about-"

"You guys are absolutely no help whatsoever," Damiano grumbled, storming out of the room, only to come back, grab the flowers and throw them all a look before storming out again.

"So!" Vic said brightly, turning to Ethan and Thomas, "Who is up for margaritas by the pool?"

.....

By the time the fifth set of flowers had arrived, Damiano was just about losing his mind. Last week it had been buttercups, with the card stating that these were sent to represent "Playfulness" because playfulness was a word that they associated with him.

The week before had been a beautiful display of Oleanders, a set of flowers that represented "Destiny", aptly gifted considering the place the band and Damiano himself, found themselves in at the moment: aiming to achieve their destiny of winning Eurovision for their country and propelling themselves onto the world stage.

But it was this week's delivery -  Carnations, with an accompanying card that explained the possible origin of the flowers name: "Not only are they associated with the goddess  Diana, people say the name comes from 'Coronation' because the Greeks used to use them in coronation crowns," - that gave Damiano pause for thought.

Because how many people out there truly knew the depth of his love for Greek mythology?

Sure, it was out there on the internet when he'd spoken about it briefly. It was there in his Instagram username and in some of the tattoos inked on him, but he'd never spoken at length as to how much it interested him...what are the odds that a fan sends him flowers connected to a subject he's fascinated by?

And what are the odds that someone - a fan - would send him flowers connected to the very goddess in Greek mythology he was reading about at this exact moment?

"What if it isn't a fan?" Thomas piped up, from where he lounged in the water after Damiano had filled them in on his latest theory; Victoria was sunning herself on a sun-lounger and Ethan was sitting across from them with his feet in the water, kicking water at Thomas whenever he got close enough.

"Thomas has a point," Vic said, without opening her eyes. "What if it's a family member? Someone we know?"

"Could be Leo, I suppose." Damiano said thoughtfully. "or Jacopo, trying to wind me up. They both know the address here."

"I could definitely see Leo pulling something like this." Ethan agreed, "It seems right up his street."

"Oh, I agree with that." Thomas muttered, "We know how much Leo likes pranks."

But there was one other person Damiano hadn't considered until now. One other person, apart from his brother and Leo, apart from Vic, Ethan and Thomas that would know about his love for Greek mythology. In fact, there was only one person in the world who knew about the book about Goddess Diana on his nightstand and that was you.

What if it was you sending the flowers? Damiano felt his heart soften slightly as he considered. It would definitely allow him to enjoy them a lot more if it was you, especially because it would mean they were from someone that he knew; the flowers would mean more to him if they were from you because it seemed like something you would do for him just to be sweet.

"Unless..." Damiano spoke up now, but then he stopped himself, shaking his head, beginning to retrace his thoughts.

"Unless what?" Vic peered over at him over the top of her sunglasses and he shook his head again. "What if it's what?"

"Never mind," he muttered, "It wouldn't be."

"Wouldn't be what?" Ethan called out and Damiano just sighed.

"Nothing."

Damiano grew quiet as Ethan and Vic began to bicker. What if he was just getting ahead of himself and it wasn't you? What if he just wanted to think that because it would make things more comfortable for him? He supposed if there was, admittedly limited, information out there about his love of mythology, anyone could make the connection. He knew you were busy, consumed with school and work and essays. There was no way you'd have time to do all that and organize and send him flowers, right?

He glanced in the direction of the house, where the bouquet of Carnations were visible through the windows of the house and sighed once more, before turning his attention back to his bandmates and allowing himself to get pulled into the conversation.

....

Meanwhile, just under 6 hours away in Rome, you sat, unaware of Damiano's internal confusion over the flower orders, as you glanced through yet another florist website, your school work spread out around you while you waited for your nightly phone from your boyfriend.

Ever since you'd started sending the flowers, they were all Damiano could rave about when he called. The type, the colour, the meaning behind them, how good they made the house look, how happy they made him, how touched he was that someone was going out of their way each week to send him flowers, and it made you feel good inside. Happy. Happy that your plan had succeeded in distracting him from the stress of preparing for Eurovision and constant rehearsals.

Damiano usually called around 11pm, around the time he had his nightly chamomile tea and bid goodnight to the others, so you always tried to stay up and stay busy on the nights you knew he was going to call.

As soon as the clock stuck 11pm, your phone rang on cue; a pretty photo of Damiano surrounded by Bidet and Legolas set as his contact picture and you answered with a smile, warmth washing over you at the sound of his voice.

The two of you caught up for a few minutes, Damiano talking about how writing and recording was going and how they were progressing on the right track when it came to writing their next album, and you spoke about how school was going, how you'd finally cracked that essay you'd been panicking about and how Chili was the best stress reliever and asking him to (once again) thank Vic for leaving her dog with you, but it wasn't long until your boyfriend brought up the flowers again.

"This time, It was a bunch of carnations," he said, the faint sound of Vic, Ethan and Thomas coming through his open bedroom window; you could hear the splashing of the pool in the background. "With a card that explained how they are related to the Greeks. I don't know, amore." a deep sigh came over the line. "I mean, it's not that I''m not grateful or that I'm not appreciative. I guess it's all starting to freak me out a little."

You frowned at that, dropping your pen and flickering your gaze to your laptop where another Milan-based florist's page sat open on google, the cursor still flickering. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I have a few ideas as to who it could be," he continued, "There's a small part of me that thinks it could be Leo or Jacopo - it wouldn't surprise me, they like pranks,but I don't think this is something that they'd even think about. So, then I thought it could be you."

You raised an eyebrow, trying to sound casual and not at all suspicious. "Me? Why?"

"Just a little feeling I had." he shrugged, even though you couldn't see him. "But then I decided - no, it couldn't be you, because you've got so much going on right now and you wouldn't have time for it. Which means it could be only be one of our fans...and that freaks me out because if it is a fan, how do they know where we are? Yes, they know about Måneskin house but they don't know the address, do they?"

You swallowed, suddenly feeling incredibly nervous. "Damia-"

"Maybe there's a leak within our circle?" he mused, talking to himself now more than you, as if he'd forgotten he was even on the phone. "I think I'm going to have to investigate."

"Or maybe," you tried, "You're just thinking too much into this and it is just a fan? They can find out anything these days, remember. I wouldn't worry, amore, truly. Besides, you've got more important things to worry about right now, like the new album remember?"

"Oh, how could I forget? Thomas did this riff the other day and...."

You smiled to yourself, allowing your boyfriend to ramble on and on about how he'd practically built an entire verse and chorus around a riff that Thomas had absentmindedly played and tried not to panic about the uneasiness growing in your stomach.

......

Damiano grunted as a cushion hit him square in the face, and he picked it up with a scowl to launch it back at a smirking Thomas.

"What's the matter with you?" Ethan asked, glancing up from tv where he was watching Victoria play on the Xbox, easily beating his score.  "You've been in a right mood since you woke up."

"I think I know what it is." Vic sang, glancing away from the TV momentarily to smirk at Damiano, who grimaced.

"Please don't sing." he pleaded, "That's my job. You just sound like you're being strangled."

"You dick. I have a wonderful singing voice."

"You're obviously tone deaf then. It's a wonder you play bass as good as you do."

"You little shit." Vic bit back, and Ethan just sighed, rolling his eyes while Thomas looked on, amused. He lived for the bickering between Damiano and Victoria; hell, sometimes he instigated it.

"Now, now children." he said, "There's no need to fight. Vic, what do you think is the matter with Damiano?"

"He's clearly pouting because he hasn't gotten any flowers today." Vic teased and Damiano just rolled his eyes.

"Am I really that transparent?"

"Only to those who know and love you."

Damiano raised an eyebrow. "So, everybody then?"

But it was true. He hadn't received a flower delivery today and, if he was honest, he was feeling a little flat. Despite his worries about how the flowers were getting to him and who was sending them, Damiano had found himself looking forward to the annual delivery and the surprise of what kind of flowers they would be and what they would mean.

They brightened his day and it was one of his favourite things to talk to you about when he phoned you; you always seemed really excited to hear about them too, always asking questions and wanting to know where he'd displayed them.

"Cheer up, Damia." Victoria called over. "We're going home tomorrow remember, and I for one, can't wait. I've enjoyed our time here, but I cannot wait for a break and to see Chili again."

"She seems to have been enjoying herself back in Rome." Damiano teased and Vic scowled.

"Still, she'll be much happier when her mamma is home."

"If you say so."

Vic smiled in Damiano's direction serenely. "Vai all'inferno, Damiano, and on your way there, maybe you can pick up some flowers to stop your pouting."

....

The next day, Damiano couldn't lie and say it wasn't happy to be home.

While the short plane ride (Damiano argued that they could have taken the train, but management insisted on chartering a flight for them) seemed to rush by, the taxi ride from Rome's airport to his apartment seemed to take forever, but finally, the taxi drew up outside of his apartment block and he breathed a huge sigh of relief, much to his bandmates amusement.

"Are we such bad company?" Vic teased and Damiano playfully rolled his eyes.

"Of course not. But you know, it's nice to be back home."

"Sure it is." Ethan teased with a knowing grin. "Go on, off you go. We'll all hang out in a few days, what do you think?"

"Sounds good to me." Damiano said, gathering his luggage and passing a note to the driver. "All of you call me to let me know you got home, yes?"

"Yes, Signor David." Thomas and Vic chorused in unison.

Rolling his eyes and flashing them a quick wave, Damiano clambered out of the taxi and up the stairs to his building, dragging his suitcase behind him as he climbed the stairs to his apartment.

He hoped you were there since you'd been staying in his place with Legolas and Chili while he was away, but since you'd had school that day, Damiano wouldn't be surprised if you'd just crashed at your friend's place since it was closer to your school.

Unlocking the door to his apartment, Damiano was hit with the sudden and strong smell of fresh flowers. It wasn't unusual for you to bring flowers into the apartment; he indulged your obsession after all. Whenever you stayed over, you brought a new bunch with you and left them there after you'd gone so he had a reminder of you and so, unconcerned, he dropped his bags by the door, carefully unlatching Bidet from her petcarrier and following her, stopping in his tracks in the entrance to the apartment at the sight before him.

There was hundreds and hundreds of Roses; Red, Yellow, Ivory, Orange, Pink, Lavender, even blue and green, covering every possible part of the floor and every physical surface in his living room, Legolas curled up on the sofa and giving him a confused meow when he spotted his owner gorping at the state of the room.

"Che cazzo...." he muttered. His gaze fell to Legolas, "What on earth happened here?"

"Surprise?"

Damiano whirled around to see you standing behind him, your teeth biting at your lip and an apprehensive look on your face and it suddenly dawned on him that his original hunch had been right. Of course his original hunch had been right; who else could it have been? Was there anyone else in his life that truly loved flowers more than you?

Maybe his mother was right. Maybe all the smoking was taking a toll on his brain. Maybe he just needed to trust his gut more and not doubt himself so much, but as you stared at him, anxiety building in your eyes, he had so many questions, so many things he wanted to say.

Yet all he could say was: "It was you."

You nodded, your cheeks flushing red and your gaze falling to your feet.

"All the flowers being sent to the house in Milan." Damiano continued, "Those carnations with the connection to Greek Mythology...all of it was you, wasn't it?"

You nodded, still not meeting his gaze; after your phone conversation, you'd been feeling uneasy about your plan but decided to give it one last shot - at least this time he couldn't be so freaked out if it was painfully obvious who was sending them.

Unable to resist, Damiano approached you, slipping his arms around your waist and pulling you against him.

"Tu, amore mio," he murmured, dragging his nose against yours and making you smile, warmth building in your stomach, "sei la persona più adorabile che abbia mai incontrato in vita mia."

You raised an eyebrow. "So you really did like them?"

"Of course I did."  he fixed you with a look. "Amore, I know I was a little freaked out at who was sending them, but that doesn't change the fact that I loved it; I thought the amount I gushed about it in my phone calls proved that. Especially now I know it was you all along!

"You were really freaked out." you murmured. "You said you were worried there was a leak in the band's inner circle or that the fans' had magically found out the address to the house somehow."

"I know, I had a moment of madness." he squeezed your hips, ducking his head to meet your gaze. "But you know what? I didn't realize how much I loved getting flowers and how much I looked forward to it every day when I didn't get any yesterday. Vic wouldn't let it go, told me that I was pouting and I needed to cheer up, and when I teased her about Chili, she told me to go to hell and get some flowers on the way there."

You grinned, "Sounds like Vic. Always supportive."

Damiano glanced around at the mountains of roses that surrounded him, you and poor Legolas trapped on the couch.

"I feel so spoilt." he grinned at you, pulling a look akin to the one he pulled in the selfie he sent you after Sanremo. "I mean, do you know what a lift it was to get those flowers every week? With the note that showed all the research and care you put into doing this for me?"

You shrugged, "I just wanted to make you feel good and appreciated. It's only what you deserve."

"Well, I know one thing," Damiano said, squeezing you closer and dropping a kiss to your nose. "I don't deserve you. Grazie tanto amore. È la cosa più meravigliosa che qualcuno abbia mai fatto per me."

Your blush returned, flushing your cheeks red. "I'm glad you liked it."

Damiano glanced around at the roses again and then back to you, the softest smile you'd ever seen pulling at his lips and it was all for you, it was because of you. "Why don't you explain each rose colour to me, amore? I'd hate for all your effort and research to be in vain."

You raised an eyebrow at him, but carefully climbed through the bunches and bunches of different coloured roses to sit on the couch. "Do you really want to spend your first night back, hearing me talk and talk about flowers, Damia?"

He grinned and shrugged, maneuvering himself through the roses and onto the couch, Legolas climbing onto his lap almost immediately. "I'm happy to do whatever as long as you're here. I missed you and I don't want your hard work to go to waste. Now come on, dolcezza. Educate me!"

You stared at him and then sighed, "Well, if you're sure, but don't say I didn't try to warn you."

Now, as he sat there in his apartment with Legolas on his knee, Bidet sniffing around, roses upon roses surrounding him; watching you pick up different colour roses and explain why you chose them and what they represent, Damiano knew that he'd be looking forward to getting flowers again - possibly every day for the rest of his life, as long as they came from you.

~Fin~

.....

Translations:

Oggi prendo io: Today I take it.

Grazie: Thanks/Thank you

Amore: Love

Buongiorno signore: Good morning, sir.

Buona: Good

Cucciolo: Puppy

Mamma: Mum/Mom

Vai all'inferno: Go to hell

Signor: Mr

Che Cazzo: What the fuck

Tu, amore mio, sei la persona più adorabile che abbia mai incontrato in vita mia: You, my love, are the most adorable person I have ever met in my life.

Grazie tanto amore. È la cosa più meravigliosa che qualcuno abbia mai fatto per me: Thanks so much love. It's the most wonderful thing anyone has ever done for me.

Dolcezza: Sweetness

....

Tagging: @daddydamiano, @illicitfuck, @mywritingonlyfans, @selenophiliaxx, @pinklyrium, @cries-in-maneskin

#damiano david #damiano david x reader #damiano david fanfiction #maneskin fanfiction #måneskin fanfiction

[enigmaticxbee]

✖️✖️✖️ 2x01 Little Green Men

The one where... the X-Files are closed and Scully follows Mulder to an observatory in Puerto Rico.

Best: The reveal that Mulder is recording his observations on the body for Scully, that he wants to be investigating this with her so much that he’s talking to her through the recorder, that he’s trying to find real evidence to bring back to her. And at the end when he tells her he still has her, ugh...

Worst: Mulder’s bangs, not a good look.

✔️ Flashlights

✔️ Woods

❌ Slideshow

✔️ Autopsy

✔️ Evidence Disappears

✔️ Scully Misses It

✔️ Mulder Ditch

✔️ Sunflower Seeds

✔️ Voiceover: Mulder intro

✔️ Catch Phrase: Scully (TNO, TTIOT), Mulder (TTIOT, IWTB)

❌ Scully is a Medical Doctor

✔️ Mulder Scully is Spooky

❌ Scuuullllaaaaayy! Muullllderrrr!

❌ Fox/Dana

✔️ Inappropriate Touching (that I am here for)

✔️ Casual Scully

✔️ Casual Mulder

✔️ Trench Coats

✔️ Bad Tie Watch

✔️ Glasses Watch: Scully (Mulder’s in sunglasses)

✔️ Taking! It! Personally!: Mulder

50 States: DC x4 & Puerto Rico (17/50)

Investigate: Together & Apart

Solve Rate: 68%

❌ Bechdel Test: No conversation between two women

MSR: 🐝🐝🐝🐝

Goriness: 👽

Creepiness: 👽👽

Humor: 👽👽

Rewatch Thoughts:

I would actually rate this episode higher this rewatch, I really enjoyed it. The case/development of the mytharc is pretty minimal. This episode is really Mulder’s arc from depressed, with no X-Files, no Scully (in his mind) to having a revived sense of purpose, realizing that he can still move forward and that Scully will be at his side. I guess I can see why Mulder was pushing Scully away at first - in his mind she was assigned to the X-Files, it’s not her quest, what are they if they’re not partners, it’s too dangerous - so he pushes her away before she can leave him. Lotta emotional labor on Scully’s part at this point in their partnership.

Mid-Episode Thoughts:

Ah, a classic Mulder voiceover intro.

So many sunflower seeds on the floor. Gross, Mulder.

Mulder’s bangs of sadness (and later of sweatiness). The stubble on the other hand I can live with.

Scully’s hint of a smile at seeing him in the hallway. And then he just brushes past her...

Their clandestine meeting in the parking garage. She just wants to talk to him, to know that he’s all right. He’s pushing her away, saying it’s too dangerous, but really he’s depressed, isolating himself. He needs evidence - Scully taught him that. Her caress of his head before she walks away...

I read a line in a fic recently that made think that maybe Mulder doesn’t like his first name not because it’s weird (Mulder doesn’t really shy away from being weird) but because that’s what Samantha called him, that’s what he hears her screaming in his nightmares.

Mulder’s unbuttoned shirt.

So I guess Mulder does interact with real life women other than Scully?

Scully tries SPOOKY, SAMANTHA, and the winner: TRUSTNO1. The appearance of the fish tank! Giant trench coat sleeves come in handy when you need to hide evidence.

George Hale. Is Mulder deliberately leaving a trail for Scully to find? I don’t think he expects her to look for him... But he also isn’t surprised when she shows up.

Mulder’s cut off tshirt.

He’s recording his observations on the body for Scully! Love this reveal.

The red light is just like his nightmare of Samantha’s abduction, but I don’t really remember this element showing up again.

The touching. The sweaty touching. And intense staring. And heavy breathing.

He reaches his arm out to brace her in the truck as they escape, the way my mom always does when the car stops abruptly.

Skinner kicks CSM out of his office. But he also kinda enjoys sending Mulder back to his shitty assignment. Can you imagine having to be Mulder’s boss?

Mulder still has her! He’s letting himself believe that now. And his hair looks a little better. Coincidence?

#xf rewatch #xf fanart #2x01 #little green men #msr #txf #the x files #xf mytharc #reposting season 2 #because the formatting on the old posts got fucked up

[cinnaminsvga]

body of mine | Seokjin (M)

→ summary: It’s the night before Seokjin’s birthday and you, his ever-reliable witch slash roommate, have accidentally forgotten to get him a gift. Good thing you know magic then, right? Ten wishes shouldn’t be too hard to handle…

{or alternatively: learning the importance of living a marie kondo lifestyle, but in hindsight}

→ genre: shifter!au, magic!au, humor/crack, smut → warnings: jin is your magical hamster familiar, jin is chaotic (ofc), magical mischief that only zee could come up with, aphrodisiac sex, penetrative sex, oral (f receiving), slightly rough sex, dom!jin if you squint, hair pulling, jin doesn’t wrap up his peepee (pls practice safe sex u guys), dirty talk, breeding kink?? → words: 16.9K → a/n: IDK WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE ORIGINAL POST BUT HERE IT IS!! IM SO SORRY BUT HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY @jincherie​ PLEASE IM GOING TO CRY I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS (pls send me your thots i suffered greatly for this fic i’m actually dying appa yip yip)

Whoever told you that keeping a hamster as a familiar was a good idea must have been an idiot.

It’s you – you are the idiot. Every one of your friends had warned you about the little vermin. They had begged you to kick him out the moment you found him taking a hamster-sized dump on your prized foxgloves.

You’d been in the middle of pruning the yallows in your garden when you heard a tiny squeak! to your right. When you pushed the foliage away, you saw a small hamster, cheeks puffed up with its little fists clenched by its sides, as pellet after pellet of tiny shits were pushed out of its tiny ass and onto your plants.

You brought him into your home, already making up your mind that you’d keep him as a pet. You have been feeling a bit lonely these days; surely, a tiny little hamster won’t be too much of a problem to take care of, right? You’re so excited that you even invite your friends over to behold your newfound darling.

“I’m going to kill that tiny bastard,” Yoongi hissed the moment he made eye contact with the hamster, his pupils dilating and fluffy cat ears tensing, ready to attack. You could see his claws begin to extend, so you made sure to place your new friend out of his reach. Lucky for you, Yoongi had the arm span of a toddler.

“Oh, c’mon! He’s so fucking cute though,” you cooed, tickling the hamster’s belly. It squeaked happily, nudging your finger to scratch the underside of its ears. Yoongi hissed at it from behind Namjoon’s back, his fingernails digging painfully into the gentle giant’s shoulders. The bespectacled witch didn’t even seem to bat an eye.

“Y/N, I’m all for keeping magical pets and whatnot, but I have to agree with Yoongi… That hamster has too much bastardous energy,” Namjoon said, wincing when the hamster begins munching on the sleeves of your cloak in earnest. You continued to squeal in delight, positively endeared by the cute little ball of fur in your palms.

Due to your magical abilities, you had sensed that this little hamster had magic in his veins and you guessed that he must have either been a shifter or an intellectually augmented animal. You guessed that he’s the former, much like how Yoongi is a cat shifter as well. Ever since Namjoon had befriended Yoongi and the two became partners, you admit that you’ve always been a little jealous of their natural camaraderie. You had long since yearned for someone who could assist you in your magical apothecary, but more importantly, someone you could share your time with.

You were optimistic; perhaps when the little hamster learned to shift into its human form, then you could truly begin your journey towards friendship. You’re sure that the man behind the hamster must be just as cute and lovely.

Speaking of learning to shift—

“What? You mean me?” Yoongi asked, craning his head over Namjoon’s shoulder, his curiosity getting the better of him but still remaining a safe distance away from you and the hamster. “What about learning to shift?”

“Did you just learn one day? I want to get Mr. Hamster over here to turn into a human so I can speak to him,” you explained, but the cat shifter narrows his eyes distrustfully.

“I don’t want that vermin to gain the ability to speak. I can just tell no one is going to enjoy what he has to say,” he sniffed. He growled lowly, the sound so deep and feral that you are momentarily disarmed by his hostility. Namjoon had to rub the back of his ears for a second, forcing Yoongi to calm down until his growl softened into a purr.

“Well, Yoongi can’t control his shifting abilities quite yet. I have to… forcibly change him, if you will,” Namjoon explained, watching Yoongi with loving eyes as he gently nuzzled his head into the witch’s hand. He beckoned you closer and you took a tentative step forward, keeping the hamster behind your back just to be safe. “Watch,” he said simply, as his hand trails lower and lower until it reached the back of Yoongi’s neck and he–

Poof! Namjoon simply tickled the back of Yoongi’s neck and a puff of purple smoke revealed a munchkin cat in its wake. His soft gray and white fur bristled in surprise, his teeth bared at Namjoon as he meowed in contempt. Namjoon ignored all of this, gently picking up the tiny cat and cradling him in his arms like a baby. Immediately, the shifter relaxed, eyes closing contentedly as he burrowed deeper into Namjoon’s chest.

“Woah,” you said, for lack of better words. You shook your head, gazing at the two in wonder. “I didn’t know Yoongi has a fucking eject button.”

“Yep. I sure hope you don’t abuse this knowledge, by the way,” Namjoon warned, but the mischievous gleam in his eyes told you that he probably wouldn’t mind if you did. Knowing you, there was no question that you’d take any and every opportunity to annoy the cat shifter. “If this hamster is the same, then surely it has a similar tick. Since it’s small too, I’m sure it’ll be easy to find its spot.”

“Speaking of,” you piped up, staring curiously at him. “How… did you find out where Yoongi’s spot was? Didn’t you meet him as a human?”

Namjoon shrugged, but there’s a soft pink tint coloring the tops of his ears. “Umm… Coincidence?”

You squinted at him. “Sure,” you agreed, not wanting to know why he seemed so embarrassed. You turned back to the furry matter at hand, lips pursing as you gazed upon the hamster. Surely, there should be an easy way to figure this out…

You began to roll the small hamster in your hand like a pancake, twisting and pulling the lil guy until it started squeaking in protest. You made sure not to handle it too roughly, so you were a bit surprised at how dramatically the hamster was screaming. “Just another moment, baby…” you murmured. At the sound of the pet name, the hamster paused in its squirming, staring wide-eyed at you with its tiny mouth ridiculously agape. You arched a brow, amused at the aghast expression on its face.

“Well, that settles it. You’re definitely human, by the looks of it,” you commented, poking it lightly on the nose. The hamster scrunched up its face just as a soft pink smoke started to envelop its tiny body. You coughed harshly, your sinuses tickled by the strong scent of caramel and mint. “W-well, I think I found its spot,” you pointed out helplessly, eyes watering as you tried to keep them open.

The hamster’s body was growing ridiculously hot, forcing you to drop it on your kitchen counter. You hissed, sucking on your burned appendages as you wait for the smoke to subside. Beside you, Namjoon had Yoongi held tightly in his arms, his back turned away to keep the smoke away from their faces. “Y/N, get some clothes quickly. He’s going to be cold when he finishes transforming,” was all he said, his free hand covering his nose. “This is probably going to be its first shift in a while!”

You’re still completely flabbergasted, frozen in place. “What?” you replied dumbly, standing stock still as you waited for the smoke to dissipate. As more and more of it cleared, you noticed two pairs of long legs where there originally had been none. You waved your hand a bit, fanning the remaining fumes away from your nose, allowing you to gaze upon a very naked and very tall man sitting primly on your kitchen counter.

You and the man stared each other down, neither of you blinking nor backing down. After a few moments, the man smiled brightly at you, his cheeks bunching up much like how he did in his hamster form. “Hello, human,” he greeted, extending a hand towards you. You took it dazedly, still staring wide-eyed at him. “My name is Seokjin. I suppose this means I’m going to be your familiar from now on.”

Your gaze traveled downwards, your hands still clasped together with his. “You’re naked,” you said plainly.

He followed your gaze. “I suppose I am,” he mused, shrugging his shoulders. He was incredibly wide; it almost made no sense that he was a hamster just a few seconds ago. What did he do, bench press sunflower seeds all day? “I am also incredibly beautiful, but we can continue stating the obvious another day.” He released your hands, clasping them together with a beatific smile. “C’mon, human! Bring me your finest garments because my handsomely sculpted testicles are starting to shrivel up from the cold.”

Behind you, you could hear Yoongi hissing loudly in response.

And from that day forward, your adventures of living with the biggest nuisance in the world had begun.

x x x x x

[December 3, 11:39 PM]

Okay, maybe calling him a nuisance is a bit too mean… He’s not that bad. Although, you are sure that Seokjin would have gladly nipped you in the tit if he ever found out you thought so lowly of him. Which you don’t.

Usually.

Except when he’s being annoying, which is all the time. For example:

“Stop fucking biting, you little furball,” you grouse, flicking the hamster in the stomach. He gasps in response, or at least, you assume he had gasped since hamsters don’t exactly have the same vocal cords that humans do. What you do know, however, is that Seokjin seems particularly adamant to be irritating tonight, despite your numerous threats to snip his tiny hamster balls should he continue to pester you.

Unfortunately, none of your usual intimidation tactics work, thus prompting you to grab the small rodent and squeeze him like a squeaky toy. (And what do you know—he even squeaks like one too!)

“Will you stop bothering me? You know I’m busy.” You squint angrily at him, scowling when Seokjin looks back at you with faux innocence. This lil bitch wouldn’t know innocence if it shoved a finger up his ass! “You’ve been more annoying than usual. You even tried parkouring over my herb bottles even though I’ve told you numerous times that’s off limits!”

You feel only slightly bad for scolding him; after all, you are in the midst of preparing a particularly difficult potion for one of your clients tomorrow. Seokjin knows this, and you even specifically told him not to bother you until you finished for the night. While he often did like to interrupt your work for “life or death situations” such as “cuddling” or “spoon-feeding him some pudding,” he usually leaves you alone to do your work when you’re faced with tougher jobs. Today doesn’t seem to be the case as he nibbles ferociously on your sleeves, desperate for you to listen to whatever nonsense he wants to convey.

Rolling your eyes (albeit you admit you do it out of fondness), you gently take the little hamster into your hands, placing him on your kitchen floor. You make sure the stove for your potion making is turned off before you turn back to him, honking his button nose and waiting for him to shift completely.

Since it’s no longer his first time shifting, it only takes Seokjin a few seconds to transform into his human self, his large frame quickly taking up most of the space of your cramped kitchenette. He accidentally bumps his head into one of your hanging potted plants, causing him to yelp in surprise rather than actual pain. He glares pointedly at your orchids before switching that ire onto you, his normally saccharine brown eyes filled with thinly veiled contempt.

“Took you long enough,” he sniffs, poking you not-too gently in the cheek. He folds his arms, appearing to you like a child throwing a tantrum. “Well?”

You raise a brow, covertly turning on your stove once more to resume your potion-making. “Well what?” you say, stirring your small cauldron from the corner of your eye. Seokjin halts your movements instantly, pulling your arm away and half-dragging you towards your living room.

“H-hey! That potion is really sensitive, so let me go—”

“It’s almost midnight,” is all he says before dumping you unceremoniously on your old sunken couch. You grunt from the impact, but he doesn’t apologize for his gruffness (as he never has). You peer up at him, scowling slightly at his unexpectedly cryptic remark.

“And so? This potion is due for pick-up in two days and I’ll need to steep it for another 24 hours before I can even think to package it–”

Instead of replying, Seokjin takes his phone out of his pocket and thrusts the screen towards you. You look at it in confusion, confronted with the sight of his lock screen without any explanation. “It’s… 11:43?”

He rolls his eyes, though you notice a slight hint of disappointment clouding his expression. “And what about the date?” he pushes, lips pursed thinly into a line.

He’s trying to get you to understand without saying it outright – a habit of his that he’s acquired ever since he started hanging out more with Yoongi. Though the two are hardly considered friends, even Seokjin has to admit that being near the cat has caused him to pick up a thing or two, with his tsundere tendencies being one of the first.

You, on the other hand, are forced to play along with his antics. You know that it is December 3. As you try to rack your head for anything you might have missed, you’re pretty sure you’ve accomplished all your chores for today, save for the current potion brewing for the customer coming in two days. You think back on your day, listing off all the things you had done.

You had met up with Namjoon to pick up more herbs from his shop, you delivered more mana potions to the local apothecary, you passed by the street market to buy more sunflower seeds for Seokjin… What on earth could you be forgetting?

“I sincerely hope you’re joking, you know.” Seokjin interrupts your train of thought, breaking you from your trance. When you look back at him, you find that his annoyance has cleared. Hurt replaces his expression, his bottom lip trembling slightly as he waits for you to realize.

When it appears that you won’t be noticing anytime soon, he heaves a heavy sigh, eyes closing in defeat. His voice cracks when he says, “Fine. It’s fine. Whatever. I’ll just… Go to my room. Don’t worry about breakfast tomorrow because I’m gonna sleep in.” And with that, he swivels away from you, shoulders hunched forward as he quietly makes his way to his quarters.

Left shocked and even more puzzled, your gaze is stuck where he had just been moments ago, anxiety and guilt rising in your chest as you try harder to remember what it is that caused Seokjin to shut you out like that. In your seven months of living together, not once has he ever looked so dejected, as the handsome shifter often liked to push your buttons and tease you whenever you mess up. This is clearly not like the other times, so whatever you forgot must pertain to Seokjin himself.

“Am I missing something? Did I forget to season his dinner again?” Although it is entirely too plausible that you did, you highly doubt Seokjin would be that upset at having a bland meal. So what else could it…?

Just as you’re about to give up and beg Seokjin to tell you what you had forgotten, your phone beeps, a new text from Namjoon arriving just in time. You flick it on, your brain taking a moment to fully grasp the words you were trying to read.

from: joonieboobie to: y/n

hey y/n! are you gonna spend the entire day with seokjin tomorrow? yoongi and i figured that you’d do something special for him on his bday, so tell seokjin that we’ll treat him to a birthday dinner the next day instead. don’t have too much fun, okay? use protection LMAO

Shit.

You gasp suddenly, hand flying to your mouth as horror washes over you. Did Namjoon just say… bday?! Now that he mentions it, you realize that today is December 3rd, which means…

“Tomorrow is December 4th,” you whisper to yourself. You jump out of the couch, scrambling towards your kitchen at a wicked pace. Sweat begins to form at the back of your neck as you run over to your wall calendar, where lo and behold, tomorrow’s date is circled in blood-red ink. Circled by you, even. Holy shit holy shit holy shit–

No wonder Seokjin was so hurt. You’re a terrible, foul, no-good witch! The absolute worst person in the world! How on earth could you forget your own familiar’s birthday?

“Jesus fuck, I’m screwed,” you groan, slumping over your kitchen counter in defeat. You don’t even care that your potion has long since boiled over—not when you’ve already made a bigger mistake just now. God, you’re such a clumsy bitch; what’s the point of being a potion maker who helps cure other people’s maladies if you can’t even fix your shortcomings?

“I can fix this. I can fix this. I can—” You chant this multiple times to yourself as you rush to your nearby bookshelf, pulling out every book you own to find a last-minute gift idea. Surely, there’s something in these books that can help you make it up to Seokjin, right? You’ve made almost every potion there is under the sun, surely there is something you can brew that can bring back the smile on your lovably goofy familiar?

You’ll pour over all of these books if you have to. Despite your forgetfulness, your love for your familiar rings true; you would do anything for him, whatever he might ask.

A thought passes through your mind, but you shut it down for now. A last resort, you think grimly to yourself. You have a few hours left before he wakes up, after all. You’ll find something, you’re sure.

x x x x x

[December 4, 9:14 AM]

It turns out you do not find anything, after all. A halo of books surrounds you on your living room floor, your worn fingers littered with papercuts and ink stains after spending the whole night looking for a suitable gift for Seokjin. Everything just seems too regular to be a gift, though you suppose you’re only picky because you know that Seokjin is pickier. He’d whine for days if you gave him just any gift, and nothing grinds your gears more than having a sulking hamster eating the plants in your garden.

“Grandeur,” you can imagine him saying, nose upturned in that snooty way of his. “I require the most exquisite of presents. I, after all, am above peasantry. I cannot even stand the taste of wooden chopsticks upon my silver tongue.”

Frankly, you have no idea how he’d gotten to become such a prick so haughty, given that you know that he used to live on the streets before he had met you. Regardless, you’ve always been the type of person to be a little too forgiving, so your patience for his irritating unorthodox personality is stronger than most.

Although it might not be immediately apparent to most observers, the two of you make for a perfect pair. You are the calm to his storm, the logic to his insanity, the yin to his dumbass yang. While it’s easy to say that you hold the short end of the stick when it comes to living with Seokjin, he also grounds you and keeps you from pushing yourself too hard. There have been many long nights in the past when you would be too absorbed in your work, not even remembering to eat or drink for days. All it takes is a soft poke or nibble from Seokjin to jolt you back to your senses as he reminds you time and time again that your life matters not only to you, but him as well.

He’s your familiar. Your sweet, foolish, annoying, narcissistic familiar. It really might have been fate for you to have met all those months ago in your garden, though you’d never tell him that. He’d be much too smug about it if you did, as he never did shy away from proclaiming that he was your knight in shining armor or something.

Which is all the more reason that you fear for your life now that you’ve run out of options for his birthday present. He’d never let you hear the end of it, and you can only imagine how a vengeful and spiteful Seokjin might be compared to his normal self.

You sigh dejectedly, closing your last book and shoving it across your living room floor. “This is my fault for forgetting,” you say, rubbing your temples with a grimace. Of all the times your forgetfulness could fail you, you certainly would have hoped that this would not be one of the times when it did. You must remember to ask Namjoon to restock the ingredients needed to make more head clarity potions, though you suppose you might end up forgetting to do that as well.

Every potion in your arsenal of knowledge just wouldn’t work out for Seokjin, or at least you think so. The potions are either too useless or too useful, with the latter being a bigger problem. As much as you like to tease Seokjin for his hamster-sized brain, he did have his cunning moments. You dread to wonder what type of mischief he might come up with should you give him, say, a 24-hour luck potion.

“Though I suppose he wouldn’t be able to take over the world in 24 hours… Could he?” Even as you say it, you know in your heart of hearts that he absolutely can and will. Fucking bastard that he is.

With no other options viable to you, you did have one last trick up your sleeve. You might even say this option is worse than a 24-hour luck potion, though you will be making sure that he has adult supervision while he, erm, utilizes this gift of yours. This last-minute gift idea of yours is famous amongst your circle of friends, mostly because you do have a penchant for forgetting numerous birthdays and anniversaries in the past.

You’re usually quick to resort to this last-minute gift whenever you forget someone’s birthday, as you trust that your friends would never misuse your kindness in any way. But like most things, Seokjin is a different case entirely. As you have mentioned before, Seokjin… has ways of getting whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Added with the fact that you were unquestionably whipped for his hamster ass, he most often can get you to do things that aren’t what most would consider being “morally sound.” You may love him, but you certainly don’t trust him.

Long story short, you are slightly terrified of giving him ten wishes for his birthday. Ten wishes that will allow him to ask you to do anything for him, as long as they’re within your abilities of course. If anyone were to find out that you were even considering offering wishes to Seokjin, much less ten wishes, you are sure that they would throttle you for the premeditated mass destruction of the human population.

Which is why you’re going to have to make some rules for the little rodent, and hope to all the deities up above that he doesn’t find a loophole of sorts. Hopefully.

It’s nearing 9:30 AM when you manage to muster up enough courage to tiptoe noiselessly into his room, not bothering to knock as you know that he will most likely ignore you. Your heart pangs when you see him curled up into a ball in his bed, still in his human form as you had not been able to transform him back into a hamster before he had stormed off the night before. He has his back turned away from the door, but you know he’s awake when you hear his muffled sniffles. Your previous trepidation is replaced with guilt immediately, causing you to lower your head in shame.

“Seokjin? Sweetie?” You say his name hesitantly, unsurprised when the shifter refuses to look at you. You pad softly towards his bed, your knee digging into the soft mattress but not daring to come closer. You want desperately to cuddle with him in bed, always having appreciated his higher body temperature, especially during the colder months.

“I’m so sorry for forgetting your birthday, Seokjinnie. I know I’m a big fool for forgetting such an important day, but I really hope you can forgive me,” your voice grows softer the more you speak, dropping to a whisper by the end of your sentence. The room is silent, save for the sound of Seokjin’s breathing and your rapidly beating heart. Your mouth feels like sandpaper when you continue, “I know this might not make it up to you entirely, but I do have a gift that I want to share with you.”

At the mention of the word “gift,” you can see the way the small hamster ears perched on his head start to twitch. You smile secretively to yourself, knowing that you finally got his attention. “Come on, sweetie. Don’t you want to know what your present is?”

With a loud sigh, Seokjin rolls over to face you, his cheeks blotchy with tear stains and dried snot. You nearly cry out at the sight, but you keep your guilt to yourself, now more eager than ever to right your wrongs. You hate seeing him cry, most especially when it is you who had made him shed those tears.

“You got me a gift?” His voice is hoarse, but his curiosity is plain as day.

You nod happily, clapping your hands with excitement. “Yup! I know this will be the first time Seokjinnie is celebrating his birthday with me, so I thought long and hard about this—” a complete lie, but he doesn’t have to know that, “—and I thought it would be great if I gave you ten wishes for your birthday!”

There is a pause. In lieu of a response, Seokjin just sits up in bed, pushing off his blankets and blinking rapidly at you in disbelief. He rubs his eyes once, twice, but it still seems like he can’t believe what he’s seeing (and hearing). His mouth opens and closes, before finally saying, “Excuse me?”

You arch a brow, slightly confused as to why Seokjin seemed so astonished. “What? Do you not want ten wishes for your birthday?”

Seokjin shakes his head, looking like a possessed bobblehead with how quickly he moves. “No, of course I do! I just… You trust me enough to make ten wishes? Me?”

You cringe. “Well, trust is a strong word…”

“I knew it!” Seokjin scoffs, pointing at you accusingly. He flops back onto the bed, a deep pout on his face. “My ten wishes are probably gonna be stuff like ‘No cooking duties for a month!’ or something equally as lame.”

You roll your eyes. “Well, yes that could be one of your wishes if you so desired. But no, you can ask for fun stuff too.”

Seokjin raises a finger. “Oh really? Then how about—”

“No wishes that will allow you to attain world domination,” you interrupt, watching amusedly when he immediately deflates.

“Aww,” Seokjin mutters, dropping his finger. A second later, he raises the same finger again. “Then—”

“And no bodily augmentations as well,” you add.

Seokjin looks down at his crotch dejectedly. “Aww!” Seokjin repeats. ”Then what else am I supposed to ask for?!”

You shrug, tapping your chin. “Well, is there anything else in that empty skull of yours that you might want? There should be something you want that you can’t have.”

For a moment, Seokjin’s expression turns cloudy, like he usually does when he’s thinking deeply about something. It might have been the trick of the morning light, but you swear he gives you a quick once over, tongue poking out to wet his chapped lips. “I have an idea,” he says, voice low.

You feel your palms begin to sweat, unused to the dark look on Seokjin’s face. Anticipation fills you as you both stare at each other, neither willing to back down. “Y-yes?” you say, suddenly nervous to hear his response.

He smirks, tilting his head with contemplation. “I want…”

What? What do you want? You squeeze your fists unknowingly, forcibly keeping yourself from squeezing other parts of your body. Could it be..? No…

“Seokjin—”

“I want to beat Jeon Jungkook in a spicy noodle challenge. Just once in my fucking life!” Seokjin hollers, punching his pillow in the midst of his unexpected fury. His eyes are blazing, cheeks puffed up due to his unbridled hamster-y rage. “That little bunny bitch! Thinks he’s hot shit just because he can eat two more cups of spicy ramen more than me? Well, I want him to finally get a taste of his own medicine!”

You feel your shoulders sag in relief, wondering where on earth your brain had been going just a moment ago. “You… You want to get a spice resistance potion? Yeah, I can do that for you. Give me a second,” you say, dashing out of his room like your ass is on fire, afraid that he might notice the blush dusting the tops of your ears. You mentally slap yourself, biting the insides of your cheeks to keep from strangling yourself. Keep it together, Y/N. Remember how much of an idiot he is and you’ll be fine… Just don’t think too hard about it.

Lucky for Seokjin, spice resistance potions are quick enough to make and it only takes you 10 minutes to cork the finished concoction for him. You scurry back to his bedroom, about to hand the small vial over to him when the words get caught in your throat. You’re momentarily paralyzed by the sight of his naked back, his ocean-wide broad shoulders on full display for your wandering eyes to feast on. Naked Seokjin isn’t even a rare occurrence in your household, but it doesn’t get easier to witness even as the days go by. In fact, you guess it only gets harder for you, pun intended.

Thankfully (or unthankfully), Seokjin slips on a clean shirt before turning to you, his expression lighting up when he sees you (with your mouth still fully agape) with the potion in hand. “Nice one, Y/N!” He takes the vial from you, peering at the minty green color with glee. “Oh damn, when I see that little shithead, he’s not gonna know what hit him!”

“Are you gonna go challenge him today?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. I’d rather spend my birthday doing other things. Plus, I already have better ideas for the remaining nine wishes I have left.”

“Such as?”

He pats your head a little condescendingly, a devious smirk playing on his lips. “No need to worry your little head, Y/N. You don’t even need to work for four wishes, because I know for a fact that you have these potions in your stock,” he says, laughing maniacally as he scampers off to your basement storage.

“Seokjin!” You call out to him, wondering not for the first time how he always manages to outrun you despite doing nothing all day except eat sunflower seeds and play videogames all day. Though you assume it might have to do with his rodent DNA, as the little shit always did manage to slip from your fingers when you’re strangling holding him in his tiny furry form.

When you get to your cellar, you find him rummaging through your stores and softly humming a tune as he takes his time sorting through your potions. You try to peek over his shoulders to see what he’s doing, but it’s a lost cause as his entire frame somehow manages to block your entire view. Fuck him and his doorframe shoulders.

“Hey, I heard that!” Seokjin says, making you realize belatedly that you did say it out loud—not that you particularly cared if he heard. You’ve thought and said worse, plus he knows it. He thrives on being an asshole.

“Can you at least tell me what you want? I can find them for you too, as long as they aren’t… too dangerous,” you say the last part skeptically, not knowing what is categorized as “dangerous” when it comes to him. For all you know, he could somehow find a way to kill a man with a healing potion.

“No, no. I got it. Here,” he hands you a medium-sized vial filled with a colorless liquid. When you turn the bottle over, you see that you labeled it as one of your hair color changing mood potions, a popular novelty potion that you sold to kids at the market sometimes.

“Why on earth would you want this?” You snort. “Let me guess… You want to feed this to Yoongi so that you can anticipate whenever he’s about to scratch your eyeballs?”

“Close, but not quite! I want you to drink it,” Seokjin says, poking his head out of the cupboard to give you a quick smile. He winks at you, which you do not return. “Come on then. Drink up!”

You squint at him incredulously. When he doesn’t seem to be joking, you exclaim, “Hold on. Why on earth do you want me to drink this?”

But Seokjin has already shoved his head back into the cupboard, the sound of bottles clinking together nearly drowning out his voice as he struggles to find the other potions he’s looking for. “No particular reason! I just never see you with crazy hair colors and I always wondered how you’d look like in pink. I think it’d suit you.”

You flush darkly in response, stammering loudly at his brazenness. “But pink is the color for…” You trail off, embarrassment short-circuiting your brain. No way he could mean… that, could he?!

“Pink is for happiness, right?” Seokjin says after a moment, not noticing your awkward demeanor as he finally exits the cupboard, three other bottles cradled carefully in his arms. He closes the wooden door with his foot, walking out of the cellar with his prizes and not bothering to check if your dumbfounded self is following suit.

It takes a second for you to snap out of your stupor, yelping when he nearly slams the basement door on your face. “No, you idiot! Yellow is for happiness! Oh Merlin, you nearly gave me a heart attack,” you curse, treading closely on his heels.

Seokjin looks at you with confusion, but he thankfully doesn’t ask what specific mood the color pink represents. “Well, I guess you’re gonna have to live with yellow hair all day.”

“And why is that?” you say lamely.

“Because I’ll get to see how happy you are to be with me! After all, I am so incredibly handsome,” Seokjin laughs haughtily. He waits for you to open the door back to the house, his resounding laughter sounding even louder when you both enter, given the acoustics of your home.

“Then I guess my hair will be blue all day instead,” you scoff, pinching him lightly in the side.

“Oh? Because you’re sad that you can’t be as pretty as me? Understandable,” he nods sagely. “Or perhaps you’ll turn green with envy because you can’t be as pretty as me? Or even orange with fear, because you can’t be as pretty as—”

After living with him for so long, you’ve long since developed the ability to mute him out without needing to plug your ears with anything. It’s a necessary skill that you pride yourself in having, as it allows you to live in peace with the insufferable twat. You pity anyone who has ever had to live with him for an extended period of time; dear Merlin, you hope to meet his mother someday, as she must have been incredibly powerful to birth such a beast into existence and raise him willingly, too.

“Hey, are you listening to me? Are you muting me again? ON MY BIRTHDAY? Stop that!” Seokjin whines, poking you in the cheek. You startle slightly, pointing him with an annoyed look.

“Sorry, your highness. Does that count as one of your wishes? Because I honestly don’t think I can handle listening to you ALL DAY. I may be a talented witch, but even I don’t think that’s within my capabilities.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes, sticking his tongue out petulantly. “Whatever. Just drink the potion already, will you? Or would you rather I ask for a mind-reading potion instead?”

That shut you up quickly. You shudder at the thought of Seokjin with any sort of telepathic powers. You don’t consider yourself a saint, but you feel as though it’s your duty to keep him away from any sort of power. The world should thank you for your service, honestly.

Without further ado, you pop the cork off the bottle, downing the plasticky tasting potion in one big gulp. “Ugh. I don’t know why kids love this stuff. Tastes like shit.” You grimace, rushing to your kitchen to grab a glass of water.

On your way there, you notice your hair color begins to change from the mirror you keep above the kitchen sink. Your roots are starting to gain a light brown color, the default shade of the potion, but the color quickly drains out as you take your first sip of water. By the time the terrible taste is out of your tongue, your hair has turned completely gray. You finger your tresses, staring at its unnatural steeliness. “Well, at least we know it works. Gray means neutral if I remember correctly.”

“Damn, so this is how you’d look when you turn 50. Would still bang, not gonna lie,” Seokjin whistles, narrowly missing a jab to the stomach from you.

“No one asked for your opinion,” you retort hotly, hoping to the heavens that your hair isn’t changing color again.

Judging from Seokjin’s smirk, your prayers are useless. He cards a hand through your hair, admiring its new color. “Oh, interesting! Purple is for embarrassment, right? Wow, this is gonna be much more fun than I would have imagined!”

“A-anyway,” you slap his hand away, taking a step away from him to keep him from seeing your burning face (though it’s not like you hadn’t already been exposed anyway. Stupid magic potion.) You point to the three remaining bottles he had stolen from your basement, eager to divert the conversation away from the topic of your vulnerable emotions. “What about these? What on earth would you need—” You turn one of the bottles upside down, reading the label. “An illusion potion? Oh Seokjin, I don’t know about this one…”

Seokjin groans. “Oh, come on! The only rules you had were no world domination and no body augmentation, but you never said anything about fake body augmentation!”

“Trust you to find a loophole in any given circumstance,” you sigh, rubbing your temples in a futile attempt to stall the incoming migraine (too late for that, given that the personified version of a headache happens to live with you.) “Okay, fine. Tell me what you’re gonna use it for and then I’ll decide.”

“Simple,” Seokjin snaps his fingers. He trails his hands to his ass, squeezing the globes of fat with a sad sigh. “I want people to think I have an ass thicker than Park Jimin’s.”

For some indiscernible, unconnected reason, you feel as though one of the blood vessels in your brain just popped. In any case, having a stroke might be a better fate than continuing to live in the same universe as the withered toenail in front of you. “I beg you to repeat that sentence. Think about your words first, really grasp their true meaning. Try to remember what it’s like to have functioning brain cells. Then try to repeat your words with a straight face.”

“I. Want. People. To. Think. I. Have. An. Ass. Thicker. Than. Park. Jimin’s.” Seokjin repeats, his expression as flat as his ass. “Are you happy now? Will you grant my wish, please? You said no bodily augmentations, so having the illusion that I have thick ass should be perfectly acceptable, is it not?”

“I rue the day you learned to speak the human language.” You sigh irritably, pocketing the offending potion. When Seokjin begins to protest, you silence him with a quick glare. “Don’t worry, you fucking moron. I’m only allowing you to use this potion with my supervision and I simply don’t have the time to watch you bump bubble butts with the local village thot right now,” you explain.

Seokjin nods, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “Indeed… I will need your assistance when I walk into town once everyone sees me with my ass shots and tiddies done. The people will simply devour me in an instant.”

“Are you aware that every moment you breathe, you are poisoning the air with your toxic presence?” you say with a deadpan stare. Ignoring his indignant squawks, you take a look at the two remaining bottles. “Alright. Please fucking tell me these are at least slightly sensible choices…”

“If there’s anything I know after living with you, it’s that our definitions of ‘sensible’ vary greatly between us,” Seokjin says, and for once you couldn’t agree more. He takes the last two bottles, turning them over to show you the labels underneath. “They’re luck and truth potions, each with a dose worth one hour. And before you say anything,” Seokjin beats you to the punch, holding a finger up when it looks like you’re about to protest, “These aren’t for me.”

You scrunch your brow in confusion, not quite following his logic. “What? Then what’s the point?”

Seokjin’s grin is mischievous, the twinkle in his eye sending a shiver down your spine. You’re familiar with that look, as it’s the same kind of expression he has whenever he plans to do something incredibly stupid, like eating uncooked noodles before pouring boiling water down his throat in order to eat instant ramen faster. You’ve been at the victim of too many of his ridiculous schemes to not know that whatever he is planning can’t be innocent.

“It’s simple, my dear Y/N. This is all part of my ingenious master plan that I thought of ten minutes ago,” Seokjin explains, tittering haughtily like some poorly designed video game villain. “Hold the applause, because my plan is going to rock your socks off.”

“I’m not even wearing any socks.”

“Then my plan will put socks on you, my dear. That’s how incredible it is,” Seokjin says, undeterred. “So basically, we’re finally going to get Yoongi and Namjoon to fuck.”

Seokjin pauses for dramatic effect, waving his hands around like a magician would, except the only magical act he’s ever performed was to be born as the first-ever living creature without a functioning brain. “Well?” he prompts, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Are you not going to ask me how I’m going to do it?”

Your expression morphs from confusion, to incredulity, to frustration, to acceptance all in five seconds flat. You’ve long since realized that it’s easier not to ask too many questions for the sake of your mental health, though you suppose it might be important to ask a few questions, mostly for the sake of your friends’ safety. You’ve lost enough acquaintances as it is, all because your familiar with rocks for brains wouldn’t know decency if you shoved it up his ass. 

(PS: No, they aren’t dead, but they’ve told you that Seokjin makes them feel like death anyway. That’s just the sort of effect he has on people.)

“Fine, I’ll bite. What’s your ingenious plan to get Yoongi and Namjoon to fuck entail?” you ask, gritting your teeth in preparation to withstand the pure, unadulterated strength of his dumbassery.

“Well firstly, I need the luck potion to win rock, paper, scissors against Yoongi,” Seokjin starts, smirking at the thought. “It’s been my dream to beat him at the game, as the score right now between the two of us is 349 to null in his favor—”

“That’s just because you always play paper. Consistently. You never use scissors or rock,” you deadpan.

Seokjin gasps, holding a finger up to your lips to silence you. “I am above using rocks! I am no barbarian! And do you think I’d ever use scissors? That is just one step away from me throwing up a peace sign like some sort of weeb!” Seokjin retorts, nose upturned in the air. You struggle to keep your fists by your sides, the itch to punch him in his perfectly sculpted nose growing by the second.

“Regardless, I intend to win this time,” Seokjin continues. “And I will make him take the truth potion as my prize for winning so that he may finally confess his feelings for Namjoon and end their five-year-long mutual suffering.”

“Don’t you mean mutual pining?” 

“Same thing,” Seokjin shrugs. “You and I both know that those two idiots will continue to skirt around each other like teenagers who only just realized that their penises can be used in different ways other than for pissing. They’ve been in love with each other for far too long and I intend to be the cupid that brings those two together.”

“Why must you phrase things like that,” you sigh, not really asking with the intent of hearing an answer. You’ve been asking him the same question for months now, and have yet to receive an answer that isn’t “because I can!”

“So does that mean you’ll let me use the luck and truth potions?” Seokjin asks, his lip jutted out in what he probably presumes is a cute manner, but all it does is make him look like his bottom lip got stung by a hornet. (Still kinda cute though, you think to yourself.)

After taking another five seconds to deeply access the state of your life, you sigh tiredly, feeling weary beyond your years. Figures that he would notice the attraction between your two best friends, but still remains oblivious to your own feelings. 

“Fine,” you acquiesce, crossing your arms in an attempt to look annoyed. You aren’t doing a very good job, however, as you try not to smile at Seokjin’s unabashed excitement. Fuck him for being so adorable when he’s happy. Why couldn’t he be excited over more normal things, like R-18 video games or hentai?

You clear your throat, stopping his celebration. “Do you really want to spend your birthday getting Namjoon and Yoongi to get together though? Pardon me for saying this, but I seriously didn’t think you’d want to help them.”

“Why not?”

“You always seemed a little too enthusiastic whenever the two of them were being...” you pause, stuck on the word you want to use.

“Super stupidly horny for each other? Yeah, I admit that I do enjoy watching Namjoon getting a boner whenever Yoongi does that weird cat thing,” he says, shrugging.

“Weird cat thing? You mean when he stretches and his entire torso grows twice as long?”

“Precisely!” Seokjin claps his hands, grinning ear to ear. “It’s super gross and weirdly cute! I don’t know how Namjoon finds that even remotely horny-inducing. Must be a cat person thing.”

You shake your head, unwilling to think deeper about the psychological mechanisms of your friends. “Besides the point. Do you want to head over to Namjoon’s place now? They invited us for dinner tomorrow to celebrate your birthday anyway, so we can always do this next time, or…”

“Hell no,” Seokjin is quick to interject, knowing that you're just trying to weasel your way out of being an accomplice in his ill-planned hijinks. Your shoulders slump in defeat. "You are not getting out of this. We are doing this today before either of us forget! C'mon, it won't take that long."

"That's what I was afraid you'd say," you grumble. "But fine. Just gimme a sec to get ready," you point at Seokjin's ahegao printed pajamas with disgust, "—and you should probably change out your clothes too."

Seokjin looks down at his clothes with a confused expression. "What's wrong with my PJs?"

"I think the more important question is what's wrong with you," you reply, stalking off to your bedroom. You smile secretly to yourself when you hear his squawks of offense.

As you hadn't gotten sleep the night before, you only just notice that you're still wearing yesterday's clothes on your back, the sweat after hours of worrying about what to get Seokjin making your shirt stick grossly to your armpits. You strip off quickly, doing your best to freshen up and look semi-decent (though there isn't much of a need; you've been friends with Namjoon long enough that he's seen you at your worst.)

You pass by your dresser, seeing your reflection in the mirror. Your hair color is shifting from yellow to brown at a rapid pace, making it appear as though you'd been the victim of a terrible dye job.

"I'm a victim, for sure..." you mutter to yourself, fingering your multi-colored locks. The brown color is for annoyance, which shouldn't be much of a surprise to anyone, but the yellow? Happiness isn’t exactly the word you’d describe your emotions right now. And also, do your eyes deceive you? Is there a patch of pink appearing just at the crown of your head?

“No, no… This is no good at all.” You force yourself to think of sad thoughts, trying desperately for the colors to change—but to no avail. Luckily, that hamster bastard doesn't remember what pink means, or else you'd definitely be screwed, and maybe not even in the good way.

You sigh tiredly, slumping over onto your bed when the fatigue from the day finally hits you. “It’s only morning, and I already want to die. Must be a record,” you snort in exasperation, watching as the tips of your hair turn black in response. “Wow, thanks magic. No one would have guessed I was tired unless you said so,” you mutter sarcastically. 

You never thought that you were much of a tsundere, but you're starting to understand the appeal. People knowing your emotions so easily is disconcerting, to say the least. You'd rather die than let Seokjin know that his stupid little antics actually do make you happy, since spending time with him doing pretty much anything is always a good time. It's just... someone has to hold the brain cell in the relationship, and you never would have expected that you'd be the wielder majority of the time.

When you step out back into the living room feeling more refreshed, Seokjin is ready to go. Which is to say, he hasn't moved a single inch from where he was standing just ten minutes ago.

"You bitch! I told you to get dressed," you snap. You pull him by the ear, making the 179 cm adult man whine like a little baby. "Take your clothes off!"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he wheezes, still grimacing from the throbbing pain from where you had tugged his lobe. He tries to wink at you but fails tremendously. He looks like he’s having a funky lil seizure instead. "Just transform me into my animal form and let me ride in your pocket. It's too cold out to walk! You know how sensitive my nipples are! They turn into ping pong balls when it's winter."

"I don't care. Please stop using me as your personal taxi service; you've shat in the pockets of two of my coats already," you grumble, but your pleas remain unheard. He pouts, and your feeble willpower disintegrates immediately at the sight. You sigh, "But since it's your birthday, I won't complain about it this time."

"You literally just complained though?"

You ignore him. You outstretch your finger, ready to boop. "Alright, gimme your nose, wench."

Instead of coming closer as you expected, Seokjin just gives you a contemplative look. Never a good sign. "Actually, that gives me an idea..."

"Oh, dear Merlin. Not another one of those. Please spare me," you groan.

"This one is easy though!" Seokjin tuts, bonking you on the head. You hear something click in the back of your skull, but now is not the time to ponder about such trivialities. He continues, "Instead of my nose being my transformation point... Do you think you could—"

"I am not making your penis your transformation point," you interrupt.

"—make my butt my transformation point? Wait, hold on, nevermind. I think I like your idea better," Seokjin jumps in excitement, but his mirth dies when he sees your unimpressed stare. "Okay, fine. No penis touching. But butts! You touch my butt all the time anyway! It shouldn't be that different."

"Yeah, but I only touch your ass so often because you beg me to punch and massage it in hopes of it becoming bigger. Which, by the way, isn't a real thing. You should do squats instead or something."

Seokjin gasps, scandalized. "Me? Working out? Please, that's as improbable as Yoongi turning into a regular-sized person!"

"I'm telling Yoongi you said that," you roll your eyes. "And to answer your question, no I won't switch your transformation point to your—" Wait, hold the phone. That gives you an idea. A glorious plan, something that might finally teach him a lesson.

No way in hell he would fall for that, though, you think idly to yourself. You’d be too obvious! Unless..?

"What is it?" Seokjin asks, confused when you suddenly stop speaking. He gazes curiously at the way your eyes are glazed over, concerned when he sees the way the corners of your lips twitch slightly. "What's up with you?"

You snap out of your reverie, your mischievous thought quickly cementing itself in your mind. Seokjin may be a chaotic shithead, but so are you. No one can endure living with Kim Seokjin for long without gaining a few shithead genes in the process, and you're no exception. This will teach him to be a little more conscientious, you hope. It's a pipedream, but as they say... Reach for the moon, and if you miss, then at least you'll get swallowed up by a black hole and turn into spaghetti.

"Nothing. Just had a thought, thot." You whistle innocently, barely holding down your grin when Seokjin stares at you suspiciously. Fortunately, your hair color hasn't given you away. To be fair, you didn't know light blue was the color for being a jackass either; you learn something new every day. "Nevermind that. I changed my mind. I'll grant your wish. After all, it is your birthday."

"That's right!" Seokjin exclaims, but there's a note of uncertainty and nervousness in his tone. He squints at you, pursing his lips. "Aha... Of course, it's only right that you give me what I want. It's what you promised, after all."

"Yes, yes... What Seokjin wants, Seokjin gets..." You trail off, your mind preoccupied as you hurriedly go over to your kitchen cupboard. You aren't sure if you kept them or not, so it takes you a few moments of sifting through all the bottles of herbs before you find it in the back, where it has gained a thin layer of dust all over it. You wipe it off, humming in victory when you see that it's exactly what you need.

You take a quick look at the bottom of the bottle, pleased to see that Namjoon had forgotten to label it, like always. But you remember what it is, even though you've never really quite needed to use this particular herb. He had given it to you as a strange novelty item a long time ago: it was an ingredient for obscure potions that were never really ordered at regular magical apothecaries, which is why it had remained untouched in your cupboard until today.

By itself, it has strong magical properties too, or rather... You suppose it would be more accurate to call them side effects. It has an incredibly confounding side effect that some might consider dangerous, which is why it's important to handle this herb with the proper protective equipment. Not that Seokjin would know that, of course.

"Here," you say, handing over the innocuous-looking bottle to Seokjin. He peers at it, turning it over to look for the nonexistent label.

"What is this? Weed?" he murmurs, popping the lid open and taking a tentative sniff. "Doesn't smell like it," he says, raising a brow in confusion. You let out a small giggle, but thankfully, he doesn't notice your slip up.

"Nah, it's called the Baliktad herb. I remember that Namjoon had given it to me ages ago, and it's coincidentally something you can use to... transfer magic from one body part to another." You choose your words carefully, though it's not like you're lying, anyway. Vagueness is the first step in deceit, after all.

"Really? How does it work?" 

"Simple! All you have to do is grind some of the herbs into a powder, mix it with some water to form a paste, then rub it on your nose and your butt. Wait a few seconds and poof!"

Seokjin nods, intrigued. "Wow, I've never heard of this thing before. Are there other uses for this? Say, what if I rubbed some of it on my dick instead—"

"Oh shut the fuck up and give me that," you grab the bottle back, glaring at his impish face. "You know what? I can't trust you to administer it on yourself. Lemme make the paste and I'll rub it on you."

"That sounds hot," Seokjin winks, barely dodging your kick to his nuts. "Hey, hey! Feet off the prize, darling! My balls are where the ladies get their babies."

To stop yourself from screaming, you keep your mouth shut this once. Besides, you're too excited for what you're about to do to him, so keeping silent is a small price to pay. All of it will be worth when you finally give him a taste of his own medicine. Or rather, a smell of his own medicine.

When you finish grinding the herb into a paste, you clear your throat, gesturing for Seokjin to sit on the couch. "Alright, let me put some on your honker first before I get to your ass. And no, you better not make some 'ass is grass' joke."

Seokjin visibly deflates. "Hey, what the fuck? You stole my joke before I even said it! I guess that's soulmate culture for you," he sighs dreamily, before yelping loudly when you shove two gloved fingers up his nostrils. "Hey! What was that for!"

"Oh, sorry," you apologize unapologetically. "I was just worried that if I slathered it on top of your nose, I might accidentally trigger your transformation, so I took the safer route it jammed it up your nostrils instead."

"Whatever happened to a gentlelady's touch..." he whines, scowling petulantly at you. "Wait, if you're gonna jam it up my nostrils, then does that you're also gonna jam it up my—"

Before he can finish his sentence, you push him down onto his stomach, kneeling on his back and literally stealing his breath away. "Aight, rat. I'm shoving your pants down now," you warn gruffly. He makes a winded sound, probably a snarky response that would have made you slap his nuts. Fortunately, your legs were currently crushing his windpipe and leaving him incapable of speaking.

It's funny how you’ve become numb to the sight of his naked ass at this point. Once upon a time, you had blushed constantly at the sight of his sweet cheeks, making for an awkward first two months of living together. Every time you close your eyes, the two globes would be imprinted underneath your lids, haunting you. Nowadays, you'd be more concerned if he wasn't wearing his signature "God Won't Let Me Die" booty shorts.

Also, despite what he says, he isn't completely assless. He has a substantial amount of cake, certainly nothing to scoff at. You grumble and moan about "having" to massage his ass, but honestly? Who wouldn't want to grab his ass? You might be stupid, but you aren't an idiot.

“The salve is going to be cold, by the way,” you warn, though it’s useless to say at this point since he already experienced it when you shoved up his nose just two minutes ago. Whatever. 

Unlike then, you are much gentler applying the salve on his butt this time, mostly out of fear that 1) you'd accidentally penetrate his asshole with your finger like that one time (don't ask), or 2) you'd massage his butt like you know he wants you to.

“Harder, mommy,” he fake moans, wiggling his ass. You almost slap him on instinct, but think better of it.

"I hate that you're such a... debauched cretin," you say, tenderly rubbing his ass with a scowl. If any bystander were to see you, they'd might have thought you were his kind girlfriend rubbing medicine on a bruise or massaging your poor fatigued boyfriend. One might have even thought you were rubbing him a little bit too sensually, but little do people know... You were playing a stupid little prank on your dumbass familiar that may or may not cause him to beat you up (not that it would be much of a punishment to you, anyway. They don’t write romances like these anymore, huh?)

He taps you on the thigh, and you guess that he’s probably having difficulty breathing from your weight on his back. Feeling kinda bad for him, you shift your legs over, choosing to straddle him instead. However, the regret from your decision comes instantaneously the moment he regains his breath.

"You love me, though. You think I'm funny," Seokjin replies, albeit his voice is still a little strained under your weight.  "You think I'm cute, too."

Yeah, you do. "I think your hamster form is cute. Get that shit out of your head," you scoff, but your heated cheeks betray you.

“I can’t see you right now, but I bet your hair is an insane shade of purple, isn’t it?” he teases, wiggling like a worm to express his glee.

“Fuck you,” you grouse. You slap his thigh twice in retribution: the first one for teasing you, and the second one for pretending to moan after you had slapped him the first time.

He was only half-right about your hair, anyway. You catch a glimpse of your pastel purple and pink hair from the corner of your eye, alarmingly visible for all to see. Honestly, it doesn’t take a lot of brainpower to figure out what pink actually means, most especially since you have never been subtle with your affections for him. After all, not everyone has the patience to keep up with his antics. The fact that you haven’t squashed him into a tiny hamster pancake is proof enough that you really do love him.

I mean, who else would give Kim Seokjin ten wishes on his birthday? That's giving him way too much power that no one should be comfortable with. Just goes to show that maybe like attracts like, sometimes. You must be a little crazy too, you suppose.

He’s never caught on to your feelings, however, as he probably thinks you’re more like an annoying younger sister or something. After all, you bicker with him more than anything else, but that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth.

Luckily or unluckily for you, Seokjin doesn’t comment on your hair color when he sits up after you finish rubbing the herbs onto his gooch. He’s much too busy wrinkling his nose in confusion, his forehead scrunching as the herbs are presumably starting to take effect.

“How am I supposed to know when the herbs work?” he asks, scratching his nose. The salve has dried out considerably, turning more into flecks that fall off when he disturbs it. So now, it looks like he has disgusting leathery boogers hanging out from his nostrils. Somehow, he makes it work anyway.

“Oh, you’ll know,” you respond vaguely, smiling when you can tell that Seokjin’s suspicions are beginning to grow. “Want me to test it out?”

Seokjin nods, leaning closer and presenting you with his nose. You tap him gently on the tip (lol), both of you waiting for the scent of caramel and mint to signal his shift. When nothing comes, Seokjin gasps in elation, clapping his hands gleefully as he bounces up and down in his seat.

“Holy shit, I can’t believe that worked! I was so sure you were gonna prank me… I overestimated you,” he says haughtily, pointing his stupid nose up in the air. He guffaws, standing up and wagging his ass at you smugly. “C’mon, then! Slap my ass and let’s see if it really works!”

You don’t move immediately, disappointed when the actual effect of the herb doesn’t seem to be working. You pout, observing him skeptically. “Wait, hold on. Are you sure you don’t feel weird?”

His victory hoots come to an abrupt halt. “No? Why would I be?”

“Don’t you… smell anything odd?”

Seokjin looks at you weirdly. “No? Unless you count not smelling my transformation scent, then—wait, just a second.” He freezes up, sniffing the air with a disgusted expression on his face. “Shit, you’re right! There’s something super funky in the air. You didn’t fuck up my sense of smell or something, did you?”

“Nope,” you say, popping your p. Your smirk grows, breathy giggles escaping you. “Say, can you describe what you’re smelling?”

“Oh Merlin, it’s terrible! It smells like shit? Like fucking… like ass or something!” He grimaces, sticking his tongue out as he is assaulted by the stench that only he can smell. “What the fuck is that? Oh my fucking word…”

You’re breaking into full out laughter at this point, nearly falling over onto the floor from the strength of your mirth. You barely hear Seokjin’s squawks of bewilderment, ignoring his demands to tell him what you had done to him.

“I can’t believe it worked,” you wheeze, hunched over on your knees. You’re spraying spit everywhere from your hysterics, though you are exaggerating your delight a little just to piss Seokjin off. You point and scream at his face, hollering like a banshee until he finally grabs your wrists to make you stop.

“Out with it! What the hell did you do to me?” he shouts, shaking you roughly with unhinged eyes.

It takes you a moment to respond, unable to breathe through your giggles. “You—you’re fucking—smelling your own—wheeze—your own ass!”

Seokjin stares at you, dumbfounded. “What?!”

“Your—HAHA—your fucking ass! I switched your nose to your ass, you idiot! Just like you asked!”

Seokjin’s jaw drops, complete bafflement and betrayal on his expression. He backs away from you, shaking his head slowly with bugged-out eyes as he begins to fully understand the weight of your treachery. “You,” he seethes, venom dripping from that singular word. He sounds like a pet owner about to scold their dumbass cat for eating his prized plastic big booby women figurines or something. 

You grin sweetly back at him, batting your eyelashes for extra effect. “Me? What about me?”

You don’t even have the reflexes to dodge him when he lunges for you, grabbing your neck and strangling you. “You bitch! How could you do this to me on my birthday!”

“Hehehe…” you wheeze, sounding even more goblin-ish with his grip on your throat. “You underestimated me, bastard. You asked for your ass to become your transformation point, and I did. You never said I couldn’t make transfer your sense of smell, too.”

“I didn’t ask you to make me smell my own ass! This is fucking garbage!” he yells, letting you go. You gasp for breath, but you’re still shaking with laughter at the absolutely deranged look in his eyes. He looks like an ape that was recently set free from his enclosure and out onto the streets.

“That’s what you get for not wiping your ass, then!” you retort, sticking your tongue out petulantly.

“Well, we can’t go to Namjoon’s house when all I can smell is my own fucking ass! Merlin, I should’ve downed the luck potion when you left to get changed, but I wanted to be A GOOD PERSON and so decided against it,” he sniffs, utterly irked by this turn of events. “I’m never going to be a moral person again!”

“When have you ever been one? I wasn’t even aware you had a conscience,” you say. “Wait, that reminds me. I’ll be taking these until we go to Namjoon’s, then!” You grab the luck and truth potions, keeping them behind your back. Seokjin immediately tries to grab them, but you’re quick to punch him in the gut with your free hand.

“Ooph! You’re such a meanie—aw shit!” Seokjin screams, holding his hands to his nose instinctively. “Fuck! That was a dirty move! You know hitting my stomach makes me fart! I can’t even cover my nose!”

“Hey, maybe for your next wish, you should ask for some cake. Then maybe we can recreate the cake farts video,” you suggest, mostly as a joke. But of course, you shouldn’t have been surprised when Seokjin starts to seriously contemplate your offer.

“Hmm… I was gonna ask for cake next, but now you’re making me really want cake now,” he hums, shrugging you off when you hit him in retaliation. “What? Why do you keep hitting me?! You’re the one who said it, not me! We might as well turn lemons into lemonade!”

“It was a fucking joke, you moron! I’m seriously going to eat you if you don’t stop being weird—”

“Oh shit, how do you keep reading my mind? Vore was gonna be my next wish too—”

“Shut up!” you hiss, your ears perking up. “I think I heard something from outside.”

You were both so busy bickering with each other that you hadn’t noticed that the doorbell had been ringing for the last minute or so. You both freeze, hearing the shrill sound of the bell going off, followed by three loud knocks. “Hello? Y/N? Are you home?” a familiar voice calls out. “It’s me, Taehyung!”

“Taehyung?” you shriek, staring incredulously at the door. He isn’t meant to visit until the end of the month to pick up refills for his grandfather’s medication. What could he need all of a sudden? “H-hold on! Gimme one sec!”

You’re only two steps away from answering the door when a growl (a squeal? Can hamsters growl?) stops you in your tracks. You slowly turn back to Seokjin, your blood running cold when you remember his blatant dislike for this particular customer. In fact, his aversion towards Taehyung runs so deep that you never allow him to stay in his human form around him lest he begins cursing him out like a sailor.

It doesn’t help, however, that Taehyung only ever sees him in his hamster form and constantly coos at him like a pet. You’ve had to apologize numerous times for the dozens of bites all over his hands and arms, but Taehyung always laughs it off, too oblivious to realize that a two-inch hamster wants to suffocate him with his own mullet.

There seems to be no discernable reason as to why Seokjin loathes Taehyung with such passion, though you’ve always suspected that it’s because he feels threatened by people prettier than him. You’d be the last person to admit to him that he’ll always be the prettiest in your eyes, especially since it would only make him ten times more insufferable.

Until then, Taehyung is just going to have to deal with a murderous, psychotic furball coming for his life. 

Aforementioned psychotic furball takes a step towards the front door, but you’re quick to block his path. “Don’t you dare,” you warn, but you can already sense Seokjin’s hackles rising.

“I know what I want for my next wish,” Seokjin responds instead, disregarding your order.

“Overruled. I’m not letting you kick Taehyung in the nuts,” you say, hands poised to attack. You’re about to smack him on the nose when you realize that it’s not going to work this time. “Fuck! Give me your ass! I am not letting you get away with murder for your birthday!”

“I’ll give you my ass next time, darling. For now, I must defeat my sworn enemy, once and for all!” he howls, making a mad dash towards the door. “I’ll kill you, pretty boy! Only one person can be pretty, and it’s going to be me!”

He may be quicker than you on a regular day, but the adrenaline pumping through your veins gives you enough speed to land a loud, fat slap on his ass before he can even think to twist the doorknob open. Seokjin yelps in surprise as he turns towards you with a betrayed look in his eyes, before promptly being swallowed up by pink smoke and leaving an aggressive ball of fur where he once stood.

“Squeak! Squeak squeak squeak squeak!!” he squeaks, and you’ve long since learned his mannerisms well enough that you know that he just said “Y/N! I’ll fucking kill you!!” or something to that effect.

You pick him up gently into your hands, shushing him to no avail. “Fine, if you’re going to be that way—” you hiss, glaring at him when he gives you a haughty squeak. “—then I’ll just have to...yah!” you yell, hucking him across your living room and (safely) onto the couch.

(Caution: Do not do this to your hamsters. Seokjin is a magical hamster and is unnaturally sturdy, even in hamster form. He is an outlier and should not be counted. Plus, he deserves it.)

With Seokjin out of the way, you finally manage to get the door open without trouble. You greet Taehyung with a smile, although you do not doubt in your mind that you must look a bit worse for wear. Like the gentleman that he is, Taehyung doesn’t comment on your haggard appearance.

“Hey, Y/N. Sorry for intruding without notice. May I come in?” he asks. You nod a little too enthusiastically, stepping aside and allowing him into your abode. You glance at the couch, gasping quietly when you don’t see Seokjin anywhere. 

“Shit,” you curse lowly, to which Taehyung turns to you with a confused look.

“Pardon?” He must have mistaken your agitation to be directed towards him, as he bows to you apologetically. “Sorry again, you must be busy with other things today, but I’m in desperate need of a refill.”

“A refill?” you ask, semi-distracted as your eyes flit around the room, desperately searching for the small brown ball undoubtedly zipping around right under your nose. “What for? Is your grandfather doing okay?”

“Yes, ol’ pops is doing fine. I’m here to ask for a refill for… the other thing,” he coughs, cheeks darkening ever so slightly. His embarrassed tone breaks you from your search for Seokjin, forcing your gaze on him instead.

“The other thing? What do you mean—oh,” you interrupt yourself, finally understanding his meaning. “That thing.”

Taehyung nods frantically, hiding his face in his hands. “S-sorry, I know I asked for that potion as a one-time thing, but I met this new girl who’s really energetic, and let’s just say that I’m not keen on disappointing her when we’ve only started dating.”

You chuckle lightly, patting him on the back. “No need to explain, Tae. I’m not here to judge you. Besides, I just hope this girl doesn’t accidentally kill you like the previous one. Didn’t you say you went at it for three days straight?”

Taehyung groans, his flush growing until it reaches the back of his neck. “D-don’t even remind me about that! I accidentally took two doses of the potion that time and I was wishing for death by the seventh hour. I swear, I thought my dick was gonna turn into a raisin by the end of it—”

“Squeak!”

You both turn your heads towards the shrill noise coming from somewhere in your kitchen. “Shit, I forgot! T-Tae, just stay right here! I’ll be right back.” You jog towards the source, suddenly remembering that there was a live rodent on the loose with an evil agenda and only you would be able to stop him from fulfilling his goals.

You burst inside, immediately spotting that your bottom cupboard is ajar. It’s where you keep your extra stores of potions for regular customers, but you have very little time to wonder which potion Seokjin is aiming for before you’re already ripping open the door to stop the vermin.

“Oh you fucking little ballsack,” you snarl, dismayed when you realize that you’re too late. Seokjin has already found the potion he was looking for, having opened it up and already halfway finished drinking the damn thing.

You slap him away from the bottle before he can do any more damage, smacking him hard enough that his tiny hamster body slams against the cupboard wall. You don’t miss the victorious furry grin on his face, holding up a tiny hamster thumbs up to spite you. “What the hell did you drink?” you hiss, grabbing the half-empty bottle and flipping it over to read the label. “Verbosity potion… Oh, you bastard!”

You know Seokjin has always wanted to cuss out Taehyung like it’s his life mission, but you’ve always made sure that he was safely locked away in his bedroom whenever the younger boy was over for a visit. Seokjin knows today was his only opportunity to get his way, especially since he could always weasel his way out of punishment by using his birthday as an excuse.

“If you say even one word to Taehyung, I swear I’ll—”

“Y/N? Is everything alright?” Taehyung asks meekly from the living room, still standing where you had left him. He has his neck craned slightly to check up on you, but your back is thankfully blocking his view of the tiny psychopath you call your familiar.

“Y-yes! Everything’s just peachy keen,” you laugh nervously, your attention still focused on Seokjin. Your familiar has yet to make a peep, and both of you are slightly confused when he struggles to speak.

“S...squeak?” Seokjin asks, blinking in bewilderment. He looks to you for an explanation, but you’re as lost as he is. Not to toot your own horn, but you’re one of the greatest potion makers of your generation; it’s almost unheard of for your potions to not work.

You don’t question it for now; instead, you grab Taehyung’s requested refill from the back, the red and pink label making it easy to locate. “Here you go! This should be less intense than the previous one I gave you. This one will lose its effect once you’ve… finished, to say the least,” you grimace, smiling awkwardly.

Taehyung takes it from you, shaking your hands wildly. “Thank you so much, Y/N! You’re definitely a lifesaver. I owe you one,” he says, already making his way out the door. “I’ll hand over the payment to you when I come to pick up my grandfather’s medicines at the end of the month if that’s fine with you!”

“No worries, Tae. Take care!” you call out, waving goodbye until he closes your door shut. With Taehyung gone, you instantly return to kneel in front of your cupboard, where Seokjin is still slumped over, unmoving. He looks more dazed than usual, his black eyes unseeing as he stares somewhere behind you.

“Seokjin? You alright? Can you speak?” you ask, but he doesn’t react, as if he hadn’t heard you. You wave a hand in front of his face, snapping your fingers when that doesn’t work. “Hey, smooth brain. I’m sorry for smacking you, okay? I know it’s your birthday and I should be treating you better, but you really shouldn’t snoop around in my potion stores and drink stuff without my permission.”

When Seokjin still does not reply, you decide to pick him up and place him on the floor. You tap him on the bum, waiting a few seconds until Seokjin is back to his human form. When the smoke fades, he’s still stuck in his stupor, but you notice the dark red flush creeping up his neck and ears.

“Seokjinnie? Holy shit, are you okay?” You panic slightly, holding a hand up to his forehead and gasping when you feel the sharp rise in his body temperature. He is definitely feverish, and you’re worried that he might have had some allergic reaction to the potion or something. “Shit, are you getting a rash? Sweetie, can you hear me? Say something, please.”

“Y/N,” he rasps, licking his lips. His pupils are undilated to an unnerving degree, and his breathing is ragged. He stands up unsteadily, wobbling in place. “Fuck, I don’t really feel well.” His voice is deep, speaking unusually slower. You shudder involuntarily, fearful and intrigued all at once.

You shake your head, clearing your thoughts. Seokjin could seriously be in danger right now! Now is not the time to get horny! “Seokjin, explain how you feel. I’ll try to figure out what antidote I should make in case you actually did accidentally poison yourself with something,” you say hurriedly, going over to your stove and grabbing a spare cauldron from its rack. You’re grabbing random herbs and chucking them into a pot, too preoccupied and worried to hear Seokjin groan behind you.

“I feel… hot. And not in a sexy way,” Seokjin whimpers, curling into himself. There is sweat lining the edge of his brow, despite the house being relatively chilly due to the cold weather. “Okay, maybe a little bit in a sexy way.”

“Well if you can still joke about it, then it shouldn’t be life-threatening, whatever this is,” you say. Seokjin coughs out a laugh, but even that makes him cringe from the discomfort.

You decide to check the potion he had drank and see what ingredients you had used, as it usually will tell you how to make a reverse for it. When you grab the bottle, it only just hits you that the color of the potion is a little off than you remember. If you remember correctly, verbosity potions are usually a pale yellow color, but this one has a darker and deeper tone. In fact, you could see flecks of red sediment floating around, something that you recognize as wyvern blood.

Hold on… Verbosity potions don’t require wyvern blood. Very few potions require it at all, and the only one you can think of that would need it is none other than—

“Oh fucking shit,” you curse for what feels like the twentieth time in this story. You whip your head to face Seokjin, whose entire upper body seems to be bathed in a deep red flush. He’s panting in earnest now, tongue lolling out as he fights the fever consuming him. Little does he know, it isn’t a regular type of fever that he’ll be able to recover with medicine. You gulp, struggling to find an explanation.

“So, umm…” You laugh hesitantly, rubbing the back of your neck with a wry smile. Seokjin peeks up at you from behind his bangs, some of it plastered to his forehead from sweat. The faraway look in his eyes has disappeared, replaced by an unsettling hunger and darkness that is uncharacteristic for the mischievous hamster shifter. You gulp. “Seokjin, I think I know what you drank and it wasn’t the verbosity potion.”

“What?” he croaks, wincing when he adjusts himself to lean on the kitchen counter. You catch sight of a bulge forming in the front of his pajama shorts, miraculously still unnoticed by Seokjin himself. “Fuck, Y/N. I’m burning up.”

The way he utters your name brings a shiver down your spine, and your familiar notices immediately. His gaze is transfixed on the exposed part of your neck, trailing over your skin until his eyes finally land on your lips. You lick them unconsciously, with Seokjin following the movement.

“Seokjin, I need you to get to bed right now. I don’t know how long this potion is going to last, but I’m gonna need you to—”

“What did you do to me?” Seokjin growls, his grip on the counter tightening to the point that he may have cracked the marble. You know he’s strong despite being a prey shifter, but you didn’t think he’d become this powerful and aggravated. You’re guessing that it might be a side effect from him drinking the potion when he was in his hamster form. He had more or less drunk the dosage required for a regular-sized human, so his smaller body size must have led to a slight overdose. This is all guesswork on your part, but hindsight isn’t going to help you right now.

“I, umm… I think I might have accidentally mislabelled the potion,” you admit reluctantly, feeling meek under his heavy presence. You’ve never felt threatened or intimidated by him before, so this is completely uncharted territory for you. You know deep in your heart that he’d never do anything to hurt you even in his inebriated state, but you would still do well to take all your precautions when approaching him. “I think… I might have given Taehyung the wrong potion, too.”

Seokjin doesn’t respond and just keeps watching you as you fidget in place. You continue, “H-he came over today because he wanted a refill, right? W-well, he actually asked for libido potion. And, so—”

“You gave me horny juice? Is that what’s happening?” Seokjin groans, crossing his legs together when he finally registers the very distinct swelling in his underwear. “Fuck,” he moans, involuntarily humping the air to search for some sort of reprieve.

You scoff, trying to keep your tone as level as possible so as not to alarm him. “What do you mean I gave you horny juice? You’re the one who drank it without permission!” you retort, but the scolding dies on your lips when Seokjin starts to grind against the counter, small gasps leaving his mouth. Your throat goes dry, and you know it’ll only be a few more moments before Seokjin’s limited control will start to slip away.

“Y-Y/N, what do I do?” he whines, giving up on the counter and weakly reaching out for you. “I feel like I’m going to die if I don’t cum right now. I-I need you.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” you start, your stomach swirling with arousal. His scent is stronger than usual, filling your senses with nothing but caramel, mint, and Seokjin. Even as you’re talking, you feel your resolve chipping away despite your better judgment. “You’re not thinking properly right now, and I don’t wanna take advantage of you—”

“N-no! I want it, no, I want you. I’ve always wanted you,” he pants, taking the two short steps to latch his hands on your waist. You flinch when you feel his large palms touch you, the heat palpable even through your clothes. Even with lust clouding his vision, he is gentle with you, like he’s afraid of hurting you. “I-I know you must think I’m a nuisance, and I’ve done n-nothing but annoy you these past few months, but I… I genuinely care about you a lot, Y/N. W-which is why I was so hurt when I thought you forgot my birthday, but even if you did, I was j-just happy to be living with you. Because I really lo—”

He gasps, unable to finish his thought as he accidentally tightens his grasp on you. He pulls you closer until your bodies are aligned, nuzzling into your neck. His teeth scrape your skin slightly, pulling a loud moan from you. You flush, embarrassed, but you have no time to worry about that when you feel how incredibly hard and solid he is against your stomach.

“P-please, help me? It doesn’t have to mean anything; we can forget about it after but right now, I don’t think I’m going to live past tomorrow unless I have my cock stuffing your pussy right this very moment,” he says in one breath, his hands reaching behind you to squeeze your ass. He inhales deeply, releasing it with a content sigh. “Fuck, I can already smell how wet you are. I just know my cock will stretch it out real good, just like how I always dreamed.”

“You… you dreamt of me like that?” you whisper, shocked. You don’t know why your brain latches onto that piece of information out of all the filthy things he just said, but you have to admit that the thought of him having wet dreams about you turns you on greatly.

“Are you kidding me? Have you seen yourself?” He sounds incredulous, like you’d just said something completely unfathomable to him. “Fuck, do you remember when I got my rut two months ago, and I stayed with Namjoon and Yoongi so that you wouldn’t feel awkward around me? They love to tease me about the number of times I moaned your name every time I came,” he admits. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you even if I tried.”

“Fuck, Seokjinnie,” you whine, your fingers scrambling to hang onto his chest, his back, his neck—anywhere, really. Your legs feel like jelly, afraid that you might stumble from how weak you’ve become from your own arousal. “Why didn’t you say anything before now?”

“I’m sorry I had to confess this way,” he says, caressing your hair with unexpected tenderness. He chuckles quietly, his breath tickling your neck. “But I really mean it, horny juice or not.”

Your heart squeezes inside your chest, not believing your lucky stars for allowing you to meet this wonderful boy in front of you. You can hardly believe your ears; never in your wildest dreams would you ever expect that he would also like you back.

“Seokjin, I also—” you begin, ready to spill your feelings all over the floor, but the moment is broken when Seokjin abruptly lifts you by the ass, his palms squeezing you as he barrels determinedly to his bedroom. You shriek in surprise, clutching onto his neck and holding on for dear life. “What the fuck? Seokjin, put me down!”

“No time for feelings! We can talk after we fuck,” he hoots, bouncing you onto the bed. You grunt from the impact, disoriented by the quick turn of events. Your head is spinning, so you don’t even register Seokjin’s hands peeling off your pants in one smooth motion.

A mixture of the cold air and nerves causes your legs to be littered with goosebumps. Seokjin, ever the attentive familiar, notices and rubs soothing circles all over, the heat inside of you coming back with a vengeance. “Sorry about that, baby,” he coos, massaging you. You shake your head, telling him it’s alright.

You are embarrassed when you feel how your panties stick uncomfortably against your skin, already so painfully aroused as if you had been the one affected by the potion. Your shame melts away when you see how much worse Seokjin is, however, as his nostrils flare with want. 

“I’m glad my nose still works, by the way. I don’t know what I’d do if I missed the opportunity to smell your pretty pussy,” he sighs, situating himself in between your legs. He blows gently against your clothed slit, effectively causing all coherency to leave you for the night.

He watches your reactions slyly, his body heat radiating off of him in waves. For once, he looks more like predator than prey. “I know I said I was desperate to fuck you, but do you mind if I start with an appetizer first? I wanted cake today, but turns out my dessert was here all along…” he trails off, smirking when he catches the steadily growing spot on your underwear. “Oh, baby. I know you’re going to be the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted.”

“I-I,” you stutter, shuddering with desire. You whimper pathetically as he traces your panties with a fingernail, your stomach clenching with desire. “I didn’t know you could be like this.”

“Like what?” he hums, pulling your panties off to join your discarded pants. He grins at the sight of your glistening core, wetting his lips in anticipation. “God, you’re so pretty. I could just eat you up.”

“Then why don’t you?” you reply, trying to gain some semblance of control. That silly notion is thrown out the window, however, the moment Seokjin licks a fat stripe up your cunt. “Ngnnhh, fuck!”

Seokjin moans in tandem with you, slurping you up like a starved man. “Baby, you’re just as good as I thought. I could cum from eating you out alone.” He takes a deep breath, kissing your core almost chastely. “Fuck, I know I could cum from this alone,” he amends, rubbing his clothed length against the bed sheets.

The velvety wet heat of his tongue on your dripping pussy makes you clench around nothing, ripping a scream out of you when he focuses directly on your clit. He sucks with an obscene grin on his face, holding your hips down when your entire body begins to tremble.

“So sensitive,” Seokjin says, sluggish and gravelly like he’s drunk on your taste. “So fucking sensitive. How are you real, baby?”

“Jinnie, please,” you whine, doing your best to grind on his tongue despite his iron hold on you. “I want more, please.”

Seokjin only chuckles darkly, continuing his vicious pace. “C’mon, use my tongue like you want,” he says, letting go of you and allowing you to hump his mouth with reckless abandon.

You do as he says, swirling your hips against him with reckless abandon. The heat in your abdomen steadily builds, and you know you’re only seconds away from tipping over. “I’m close, Seokjin,” you huff, chasing your high. “Please, let me cum? Can I cum, Seokjinnie?”

He nods his head, unable to respond verbally as you continue to assault his tongue. After three more licks, you release with a silent scream, writhing violently from the strength of it. 

He gives your clit one last sweet peck, sitting up with a feral grin on his face. His chin is dripping with your arousal, his plump lips redder than usual. He makes a show of licking your juices around his mouth, chuckling when all you can do is swallow wantonly.

“Thank you for the meal, baby,” he teases, his lust-riddled gaze slightly clearer now that he’s had a proper taste of you. However, the glaring tent in his shorts is still painfully present, a small darkened patch visible on his crotch.

“Wan’ your cock,” you slur, boneless and blissed out but still filled with the longing for more. “Fill my cunnie until I can’t walk anymore,” you croak, pussy twitching for extra measure. Seokjin’s expression twists, his pupils widening until his eyes are pitch black.

Seokjin doesn’t waste any more time. He rips his shorts off in record time, stripping himself of his shirt as well. You remove your own shirt and bra, causing your nipples to harden from the cold air. You tweak them as you wait for Seokjin to get himself situated, hungrily appreciating his beautiful torso and god-like shoulders. “Don’t use a condom, Jinnie. I want to feel all of you,” you say when he begins to reach inside his dresser. You can physically feel his unhinged desire growing from your words, your pussy dripping in anticipation.

“Gonna fill your pretty pussy, huh? Fill you until you have my babies?” he rasps, positioning his cock in front of you. “Gonna plug you up with my cum, Y/N? Is that what you want?”

You cant your hips upward, whining when his tip only just grazes your lips teasingly. “Fuck me already,” you beg. “Want you to ruin me.”

“Who am I to deny you? Ask and you shall receive,” he grins, before slowly pushing inside. Your jaw drops at the intrusion, as it’s been a while since you’ve last gotten fucked like this. “Fuck, you’re so tight. Almost like your pussy is sucking me in,” he groans, straining to keep himself from thrusting all the way into you. “Like you’re made for me.”

“You can m-move faster. I can take it,” you whisper, eyebrows pulling together. You sound desperate to your own ears, the pain and pleasure mixing deliciously and making your cunt weep with want. 

There is a moment of hesitation on Seokjin’s part, but that all drains away when he sees your determination. Without another warning, he shoves himself up to the hilt, causing you to arch your back with a loud cry.

“Fuck,” he curses, but there is still worry in his eyes. “Baby, are okay? Are you good?”

It takes you a moment to remember how to speak. “C’mon, Seokjin. Move. I can take it,” you beg. 

“You’re going to be the death of me,” he moans, but nods his head anyway.

Seokjin pulls back until only his tip remains inside you before slamming back harshly, hard enough that you’re sliding backward. He begins his brutal pace, his dick stretching you out nicely like he promised. You let out tiny squeaks with every pump of cock, hitting you perfectly in the spot that makes you see stars.

“Kiss me?” you gasp out in between moans, pulling him by the hair until you’re kissing him sloppily. It’s more teeth than anything, as Seokjin grunts into your mouth with every tug of his roots. You bite his bottom lip after a particularly rough thrust, but it only encourages him to pick up the pace.

You wrap your legs around his torso, pulling him as close as humanly possible. You can already feel your second orgasm approaching rapidly, your toes curling in anticipation.

“Seokjinnie, I’m gonna cum soon. Please, I can’t hold it—”

“I’m close too,” he says hotly in your ear. He sucks a bruise into your neck, moaning when he feels your pussy tighten in response. He drills into your cunt faster, the rhythm of his thrusts growing sloppy as he reaches his own release. He reaches down between the two of you, rubbing circles into your clit. “Fuck, baby. Cum with me?”

You sob his name, your muscles contracting as your body lights up with intense pleasure. Your back arches off the bed, your walls milking Seokjin dry until thick white ropes of cum start leaking in rivulets down your sopping cunt and all over your thighs. You can feel his throbbing length inside you as continuous streams of hot seed keep flowing from him, filling you to the brim.

Seokjin slowly comes to a complete halt, but he still hasn’t pulled out. “I’m gonna keep my cum in you for a moment, okay? Don’t wanna waste any of it, right?”

You can only nod tiredly in agreement, completely tuckered out. Your chest heaves from your laboured breathing, but the smile on your face can only be described as content. “Wow. Color me surprised. Didn’t think you’d wanna be a father so early,” you say hoarsely.

Now sated, Seokjin’s demeanor returns to its normal state, his aura less crazed than before. He has the decency to look embarrassed, but the twinkle in his eyes shows that he doesn’t regret it in the slightest. “I’d be more than happy to be the father of your children. We’re already going to live with each other forever, so I might as well raise your children anyway.”

“Might as well?” you laugh, pressing a soft kiss on the corner of his lips. “You make it sound like it’s your obligation. And who said I’d live with you forever?”

“Well, I mean, who else is going to love you the way that I do?” he murmurs, nuzzling your noses together. “Who else would be your annoyingly handsome hamster familiar?”

“Quite,” you grumble, allowing him to maneuver you into a more comfortable cuddling position. You kiss him properly this time, enjoying the sweet, warm pleasure of his affection. You’ve never felt so happy in your life. “Happy birthday, Seokjin. I’m sorry this isn’t the way I planned for it to go, but I honestly wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Agreed. It’s just like us, huh?” he snorts. He cushions your face against his chest, carding his fingers tenderly through your hair. “Say… Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

“Tell me, what does your pink hair actually mean?”

You chuckle, snuggling deeper into his comforting scent. You feel yourself slipping into slumber, eyelids threatening to fall. You’ve always loved cuddling Seokjin, after all. But most of all... 

I love you, of course. “I think you already know, genius.”

Even when the sun finishes its descent from the sky and darkness fills the room, the bright pink of your hair glows—unfaltering.

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