#theres just TOO MUCH and im slowly learning but there just keeps MORE coming???

[always-a-joyful-note]

So because I want to record my progression of where I am in the story, I'm posting my impressions of the units so far. (Disclaimer: I haven't read many of the stories, and about half the knowledge I have is from osmosis and spoilers. The other half is actually reading wiki entries and the actual stories. So if these takes are inaccurate, that is probably the point XD)

Without further ado....

fine - unit of 2 rich kids who are sort of trying to be slightly less evil but kind of still are evil, one (1) theatre kid who is just there for the ride and his crush, and a butler with the face of an angel and the threatening aura of a ezekiel-accurate angel in disguise. Also another impression I had of it was one chronically ill idol stan with three of his idol crushes. But they're solid, if slightly flowery; not exactly my style but their songs are good.

Trickstar - literally my sons. Traumatised idiots who choose to continue to see the bright side with a slice of anarchy. They're all so dumb. Their leader looks straight laced but is more insane than his co-leader who is perpetually wearing the ^u^ expression (except when trauma slapped). The other two members are a camera-phobic gamer boy who is also a model and a guy who exudes reliability and sanity but is also kind of an insane workaholic with inferiority issues. I'm adopting them all and their songs are like…both generic but SO sincere you can't hate it.

Ryuseitai - Me when first meeting them: Awww! A power ranger themed unit! So cute! Me, after hearing stuff about the two senior members' lore and how they recruited their youngsters: (clutching my heart, trying not to sob/lose my mind) Aww! A power ranger themed unit! S-so cute! I would die for literally all of them…WHY. Such silly happy sincere tunes sung by such silly, devastating characters??? Found family, to me

Alkaloid - everyone here believes they are holding everyone else back with their psychological problems (Mayoi), disability problems (Tatsumi), ability problems (Aira), or culture shock problems (Hiiro). And yet they're the unit whose songs have mostly all been ones I absolutely loved. Which means the assembly machine factory idols Eichi's got going on are working and idk how I feel about that

Eden - A bunch of guys with severe family issues who probably have never read the bible (well, maybe Nagisa has). So, like, tw inaccurate depictions of the bible? Anyway, deranged quartet of a softie obsessed with cool rocks but really he has sort of a god complex, a guy with a perpetual :D who is as smart as he thinks he is but is also kind of oblivious to all of his other skills and flaws (and thus is a combo of terrifying snake and kind of someone you're sort of humouring because he's funny), a spoiled princess who might have a bit of a savior complex, and a dude who kinda just got swept along for the ride but is actually really fond of them. And it shows in their music.

Valkyrie - Just….theatre kids, who put the drama in dramatic and the intense in intensity (that's definitely not how the expression is used). They also have a very strange thing going on even though they're trying to be healthier, but I'm too afraid to ask. Unfortunately, though, they have some killer compositions and so many references to Classics and Things, not to mention their songs are genuinely good for those who want that quick theatrical vibe

2wink - Adorable twins that I was lured into thinking were the normal mischief twin duo trope but what in the actual ensemble were the writers DOING? They deserve at least half the cw/tw tags. Also, one of them is kinda like Trickstar (just wants to make things brighter) while the other one has schemes and will not hesitate to destroy you while giggling, yes. All that angst but they have such cheery tunes. Like, boys please….

Crazy:B - I mean, with a name like that….listen. You think it's the guy with the metabolism-related medical condition who has a dad implied to be accused of cannibalism and his freeloader who is a literal prince but also constantly broke that would be the most insane. But, no, we also have a fifteen year old assassin who has definitely killed and a guy who is literally both committing identity theft AND helping in witness protection. But, yes, their songs are fun, as is their dynamic. Also…Amagi brothers. Ough.

Undead - This is just…four urban fantasy love interests thrown into a unit. I'm not exactly sure what urban fantasy race Adonis and Kaoru are (though sometimes I'm inclined to think adonis is the protagonist who just kinda got swept along for the ride except he does have the vibe sometimes (aka casually kidnapping HiMERU)) but a vampire and werewolf are very obviously there. Really do love their rock and roll style, like come on (though I sometimes do think it'd be cool if they let Rei's love for jazz into their songs)

Ra*bits - Look. I love them. It really is just a single dad with one of the most messed up backstories doing his best. But like, also, leave them alone please?? The writers really just made them the damsel in distress character that makes Subaru go "oh, I have to take this revolution stuff seriously" and that's not even mentioning all the other stuff they seem to go through??? Like they do not belong in whatever genre Enstars is going for but they make it work but….let them rest. Songs not my style but they fit their vibe of "smile and spread joy" which works cause I do feel joy. Like Trickstar without the revolutionary goals.

Akatsuki - TBH, I'm still kind of wondering why these three (a warrior, a mangaka, and a tailor who used to be a delinquent) are still idols. I mean, they do have talent and traditional aesthetic is fire, and they're definitely sort of found family, but why still idols guys? That said, again, songs not my style but they definitely capture their aesthetic and vibe and that's always cool to me. Also, one of the members was raised in a Buddhist temple and helped with funerals, and I do not know enough about Buddhism enough to say if they portray a Buddhist accurately but given how they portray everyone else's quirks, it probably still has a giant dose of deranged on it.

Knights - HAHAHAHAHA. They're all insane. But they have talent and earned their place in the big three. But that does not make them less insane. That's all because I will go a bit barmy if I think about them too much. Silly, insane knights who enjoy hobbies like kidnapping (affectionate) and dancing/singing (will kill you in a duel)

Switch - Look….at heart, I can't hate these fantasy game isekai themed group. I enjoy their music because I do like the electropop remix/edm thing they have going on. And it DOES kill me that the only two 3-people units (Akatsuki and Switch) both have the dynamic of "a couple of parents and their beloved and most treasured cinnamon roll of a chaotic son." But like Valkyrie, I don't know what's going on with the senior members and am too afraid to ask, especially since they seem fine with it while their son with synesthesia cheers them on.

MaM - He is literally a cowboy. I - is there a thing with Japan and cowboys? And did someone at the writer's table see that samurai, Victorian thief, cowboys, and pirates post? Because somehow, the only member of this unit is all of them. A very stark contrast against his weirdly cheerleader/mom friend songs. I know he has mommy issues (mafia thing, I think) but.....son, are you okay?

Double Face - Yeah, okay, I love them. They might be the murder unit and I still have no clue to their formation but I love it. Put the Victorian cowboy thief samurai pirate and the child assassin together and you get secret agent type music that sounds like it could be in an old spy flick? How can you not love it?

#i love that the last post i reblogged before being eaten by life was the mlp enstars one #i think thats a true representation of who i am as a tumblr user #anyway please forgive if I assessed the characters and units grossly inaccurately #theres just TOO MUCH and im slowly learning but there just keeps MORE coming??? #this is like getting into bsd and constantly being surprised by the media #or mlp which has 9 seasons and a bunch of spinoffs help #anyway if you asked me to choose a favourite unit i really dont think i could #im just kinda fond of all of these kids... #overall enstars has the sort of 'how to be bright in a very messed up world' sort of thematic vibe? #sometimes it fails and to be honest its not the BEST written as it could be #but i am just way too fond of media that is good but also bad if thats anything #enstars #ensemble stars #stuff i say #fandom spamdom #enstars spoilers #sort of? #is that even a tag i should use? #long post

[bluiex]

Screw it my brain rot is so real and SO INTENSE right now Im sharing my thoughts on a Cyberpunk AU for Settphel

Definitely not taking inspo for Setts background from Cyberpunk ER hehe Sett being a street kid (because im in love with league species- there will be vastayans and things in this universe. so Sett is half vas, and his mom full) Whos mom works as a EMT, long hours just to pay the bills and for Sett to go to a corpo school Sett definitely fought a lot because he is street scum going to a corpo school, and half-Vastayan- bros got it rough out here Age 16 is when he gets his first chrome, fist enhancing chrome that make him as strong as like ykno, in league lmao so then theres The Pit, he frequents this after getting the chrome (illegally may I add) and starts bringing home money ofc he tells his Ma its from work, hes found jobs no need to worry Ma, you can start taking less shifts. now this is how it deviates from CPER, Sett actually stays in corpo school (doesnt lose his mom) he climbs that Corpo ladder. But on the side, he manages to take over The Pit and many other underground gangs while doing so. He ends up getting all the way to the top of the Corpo Ladder and becoming the CEO of one of the companies Gets his Ma a lovely cottage outside of the city, away from the struggles and dangers of living there. Esp now that hes got many people out for his head- needs his Ma away and blissfully unaware of his underground shit and safe

For Aphelios..

Nomad makes more sense for Aphelios the more i think about it Growing up way outside of the city, in the "desert" area, but it wont be a desert here, itll be the mountains in this universe lol anyways yeah the religion being very stigmatized. The Solari of the city, hate Lunari. So far the hate leaks into the common people cuz the Solari is in the city and everywhere So they stay in the mountains. Though growing up Alune and Phel are faced with the Corpos wanting to encroach on their land, keep trying to buy it and stuff like that. as they get older, the elders of the clan raising Aphelios to become their assassin, to slowly start killing off Corpos, the important ones, or as important as they can get to. While Alune stays back at the clan, learning everything she can to take over as the leader once the Elders are gone in this, Aphelios just chooses not to speak most of the time, only when he has to he will. Preferring to sign with his sister and anyone who knows it

This is where Sett comes into the picture, now being the main dog of Corpos now, his company wants to forcefully take the Lunari land (under Setts nose too, because Sett isnt the kind of man to take away someones home like that. and people still hold prejudices against Sett being half-vastayan and a former streetkid, so theyd definitely not tell the big man what theyre doing and just push all backlash and blame onto him) Aphelios is tasked to assassinate Sett at a some corpo "ball" (not really a ball its a formal party or something)

At this party, of course Sett is on high alert. He always is really, a lot of people want him dead. So when a strange man comes into the party, dressed to the nines- unfamiliar face- Sett is wary, keeps a keen eye on him all night. Whenever Sett isn't looking though, caught up in conversations, he feels eyes burning into him, but when he looks in the direction its gone. What a good assassin, being able to hide from Sett like that Peaks his interest greatly After awhile, skillfully playing a game of cat and mouse with this stranger, Sett is finally able to get to one of his private rooms and simply waits, his poisoned drink in hand on a plush armchair for the assassin to walk in and make sure the job was done

Much to Phel's surprise, when he sneaks into the room, Sett is waiting for him, the smuggest grin on his face he's ever seen.

#settphel #settphel cyberpunk au #bluie rambles #settphelios #sett #aphelios #sorry this is a mess but it is my mess #my brain is playing this whole thing out liek a movie rn

[kylejsugarman]

do au squared jesse's feelings of inadequacy or self hatred mean he ever neglects baby, physically or emotionally?

yeah :( i know im number one conflict avoider but giving a 24 year old drug addict who experiences The horrors a literal infant to take care of is not going to go perfectly. he makes a lot of mistakes early on due to ignorance and sometimes due to being high or just not paying the right attention, but thats part of the learning curve and theyre more like direct concrete mistakes that he can be like "oh shit" and try to fix. as the show goes on and things just continually Get So Much Worse though, jesse understandably feels Tormented and like hes the source of the evil thats slowly poisoning his life and that really exacerbates his ongoing inner conflict of "wanting to be the sole provider for baby and not trusting anyone else to take care of her, but also feeling disgustingly inadequate and like his poison is eventually going to destroy baby too". when hes in his really low pizza sonic crackhouse place, he struggles the most with this conflict and does emotionally neglect baby because he Thinks this is the correct course of action. he's a murderer and the bad guy and baby shouldn't even be close to him. he leaves her with demi whenever he possibly can and is distant and sad when she's around, feeling even worse every time he looks at her. obviously, baby doesnt understand wtf his damage is and gets upset as they spend more time apart both physically and emotionally, which just reinforces his notion that he's bad for her.

jesse's on the verge of straight up handing over baby to demi despite the absolute agony that would cause him when a night comes that throws everything back into perspective for him. it's shortly after the "gus decides to invest in jesse and keep him from killing himself" arc begins where the Party is beginning to wind down, but theres still some people around and hes still using intermittently. hes coming down from a high downstairs when he hears baby crying upstairs in her room, which he always keeps closed and locked with one of those child proof (and meth head proof) locks so no "guests" can never enter her room. her crying doesnt just trigger that parent, "let me go see what they need" reflex: it Hurts him. terrified that someone got in and is hurting her, he hurries up the stairs and fumbles with the lock for a long moment before finally managing to let himself in. there's no one else there, thank god, just baby wailing in her crib. he picks her up, automatically checking to see if she's wet (nope), then notices that she feels a little warm. he knows by now that babies get sick all the time—"u look away for five minutes and they'll start running a fever," mike will say to him later on during a drop—but that realization still feels awful. jesse's about to have the "i did this and baby needs to be away from me" thought and call demi when baby makes her grabby hands. desperate for a hold. desperate for Him. he obliges, holding her close and feeling her little body wiggle around to eliminate any possible space between them. she wants him. in spite of Everything, she wants him specifically. he ends up sitting there in her room for a long while, just cuddling her as she cries and eventually calms down and nuzzles his neck even though his scruff is probably all scratchy. there's stuff to do (the baby thermometer is downstairs and he should still have some infant tylenol around), but he just sits and cuddles her first. baby still loves him. he hasn't poisoned her and the distance has just been hurting the both of them instead of protecting her. he loves his baby so, so much and he promises her in his head that he's going to be better for both of them. they both deserve it.

#laferrassie #ask #syd squeaks #u are literally doing some cocomelon shit to me. im so sorry this got so long. #au squared #jesse pinkman #baby ayuluk

[shinkaishoujo103]

smiles. leo for the ask game!

Oh you. You. You think youre so funny huh. "JUST KIDDING" I DONT CARE! YOURE ALL GONNA BE SUBJECTED TO MY LEO RAMBLING NOW! Never ever enable me even if its a joke. Never ever. If anyone wants someone to blame for whats gonna happen next, blame ashe :3c /j

(im also gonna reply to your other ask with naru later on dw!!)

(ask game here!)

First impression

Okay, my VERY /FIRST/ impression of leo was very. Not accurate to who he actually is at all BECAUSE all i knew when i learned about leo is that something bad happened to him ("because of eichi" i quote, thats what i read, i know it wasnt totally eichis fault, i know)

So i kind of. Ended up having an idea of How leo is Before Even Correctly Meeting Him

And how i thought he was? Absolutely not like he actually was! I thought he would be more...calm? in a cool way? and more mysterious

Actually, it helped a lot that shortly before, i knew of another leo who was kinda like that

But anyway, later on, i ACTUALLY met leo in !! Era main story and would the masses believe me my very first thought upon meeting him was "oh he's actually a weirdo"

...hits past me with the metal pipe You Fool. You Absolute Fool. Oh You Did Not Know What Was Coming For You Next At ALL

But its oki! Because with time i actually started appreciating leo more, thinking he was funny! Then it came...

(know that at the time i only knew leos bad past as "eichi did something bad to him")

...the moment i wanted to learn more about leo.

My downfall.

At first, i planned to read rebellion, but at the beginning of it i realized it was basically the knights story who got adapted in the anime, so i just decided to skip that and...

...checkmate. (in an emotional voice)

I. Decided to read checkmate.

My absolute downfall.

Anyway, while reading checkmate, it made me appreciate leo, sena, izuleo (heck i didnt even know about them until checkmate), and knights more, until...

(ough, i really was a newbie here, you can tell. Also my old typing kinda makes me cringe ngl)

Until the angst hit me.

Checkmate inflicted me so much emotional damage it changed my brain chemistry forever and ever and here i am now 👍

God i even remember explaining the leo angst to laly </3

But anyway, after that, i decided to read more stories about knights and leo!

I think in this order it wasss rebellion (yes ended up reading it anyway, newfound knights obsession was too strong) -> horror night halloween -> requiem -> a dark night's passing (df debut, ik! But theres some leo in it!!) -> next door

(also read setsubun festival in between all that, fun! /s)

And then slowly but surely...i became the insane & crazy leo & izuleo obsessed knightsP i am today

...this is only first impression and its already so long. you are all in for a ride.

Current impression

...how even am i supposed to express in words how much he means to me? He's my sunshine, my light, my sun, my star, my world, my universe, my galaxy, my everything...is this going too far? But he genuinely means everything to me

Surprisingly i dont think this part will be long, because i genuinely struggle putting in words what i feel about him, because its So much. What i said above resumes it pretty well honestly? He's my everything, literally. He lives rent free in my head, and he WONT GET OUT!!! I cannot stop thinking about him, i have so many thoughts about this little dude, that often i end up rambling, and i very often keep bringing him up everywhere even if its unrelated, i think you can all confirm! I get excited and happy about literally anything about him, like when he's brought up, and all and all. His silly and funny moments never fail to make me smile, to make me laugh, and would it be a bit cheesy of me to say i genuinely find him handsome...?

He's such a comfort character to me, too. I actually look up to/admire him a lot...because i relate a LOT with his depression. Which just makes his story of healing even more beautiful to me...and it gives me hope, that maybe one day, i would be able to fully heal too

Oh...i was able to express myself a bit, in the end!

Favorite moment

...cant i just say all of them?

No because i genuinely...dont know?? I seriously love every single scene/moment we get of him, every single time i see him on the screen it makes my day??

So...im not sure what to answer??

Idea for a story

Haha...since im a huuge leo yume, you are alll gonna get attacked with that one leo x reader fic idea i have~~ (that ill never write)

Basically, when leo went depressive, he did not only lock himself away in his room, but also ended up running away...to either the other end of his town, or another nearby town, just somewhere far enough but not too much as to be impossible (a place possible to go by bus, tram, or train...)

As he ended up roaming aimlessly in the streets, it started raining, but he didnt feel like sheltering himself (where could he go anyway?), so he just sat down under a tree and...well...had a breakdown

Meanwhile, we have our dear mc, who's around leos age but already live alone in an apartment due to shitty parents...i actually made up a whole backstory for them, and they definitely didnt have the best childhood...but it has purpose to the storys meaning, promise!!

Anyway, at that time, mc was ofc outside, heading back home after buying some groceries, when they see leo...the general idea of their personality is that theyre not the most sociable person, but still had a good heart (all ties back to their backstory), so after biiit of hesitating, they went to see how leo was doing

Obviously, bad, he was even biting his hand yet again...and mc, seeing that, well was ofc /very/ concerned. They asked a bit about leo, what he was doing there outside the rain, and that he should go home unless he got sick, but leo didnt really feel like replying...

So mc decided to take leo home with them, and take care of him a bit, because thats what someone else who was close to the mc (that they admired, too) would've done <3

They made leo a nice warm bath, and some nice warm chocolate, and gave leo some temporary new clothes from their dad (that were probably a bit too big) while his own were drying, and all and all~ mc is actually very caring beside being mostly a loner

Mc and leo ended up talking a bit, though leo still not saying much, and it was decided leo would stay in for the night since it was getting late, and his home was too far away

Except...leo ends up staying longer than expected...because he absolutely /didnt/ wanna go home just yet...

And thus, start a story about two broken young people who learn to love once again together...a story of healing...thats what i want it to be :3c

I didnt put all the details, or else it would be too much, but thats pretty much the gist of it! I would love to actually write something about, but dont have a good enough plot, eueueue....

...can you tell i just wish that i couldve been there when leo needed someone the most?

Unpopular opinion

Gonna try to elaborate 🫶

By Something i meant he was actually an ass. A little bitch. An asshole. But it was because he just came back to yumenosaki!! He just got out of his trauma, and was still hurting from it!! But i feel like most people tend to forget, or not even know about that side of leo, because we now see the more wholesome side of him since he fully healed now??

But he wasn't always just a ray of sunshine. Heck, in war era, yes he was definitely a victim, but why? Because the other students ended up hating him. Why? Because knights would always crush their opponents in dreamfes. Why? Because, yes, leo is definitely naturally talented, a genius, of course he would easily win, but he was also crushing those people on Purpose. He /was/ being Aggressive /on purpose/ in war era, because he was fighting for senas dreams

But anyway...basically, what i meant, is that leo can be a little aggressive bitch sometimes

Favorite relationship

I think we all know the answer already. Come on. Its soso obvious. Do i even need to say it. Okay i will anyway.

✨Izuleo✨

What a surprise! Nobody expected this! /s

Favorite headcanon

Okay, i have a lot, but the first that come to mind is...mostly a joke hc? But ill share it anyway

Basically, leo is a big danganronpa fan, and saiouma are his absolute otp (me projecting? absolutely not) and like. eventually he starts writing songs inspired by dr and one day sena comes up to him and is like "hey, why're your songs recently so...idk...creepy?? kinda??" "wha? no! theyre not creepy!! theyre just inspired from that one franchise, danganronpa~!"

+ other old funnies i came up with,,, (WARNING, VERY HEAVY DANGANRONPA SPOILERS!)

BUT ACTUALLY!!! I have another, less jokey hc to share...since its leo he gets to have me share two hcs

I like to imagine he's very passionate about space! Mostly because he believes in aliens and stuff, but i also just believe...it would fit? Idk, i just can really see him loving space and all

#saku mail #from ashe #IM SO SORRY FOR THE SUDDEN LATE JUMPSCARE #ITS JUST I FIRST GOT THIS ASK LATE AT NIGHT YESTERDAY #SO LIKE. BRAIN ENDED UP BEING TOO EEPY TO FINISH THOS #THIS* #SO I POSTPONED TO THE NEXT DAY AKA TODAY #now i still need to do it with naru...godspeed saku; #anyway...this ended up being Way Too Long and i do not regret a single bit! thats what happens when you enable me. #you brought this upon yourself and everyone else ashe :3c

[pokebonkus]

OKAY SO

pokebonkus' pokemon time,

thisll be a long ass post so buckle in babes

First off is Cirus, my lucario, male. hes my absolute baby, my unit of a man, hes about 4' something and hes an absolute dumbass <3 he likes to snuggle and if i dont give him enough attention hell shove his snoot under my arm to get pettins. hes my first pokemon and i got him as a riolu

Sylveon, male - who im slowly giving the new nickname Snorple! - is a little bastard, but i adore him to no end. sometimes hell stand over my chest and stare down at me like hes plotting my ultimate demise. he also occasionally just palps people with his ribbons and its kinda funny cuz ill be minding my own business and suddenly my face is palped by soft fuzzy tentacles. Did you know theyre carnivores?

Manchester, a little male wooper i got from my brother (he got him from a random pokemon trade), is just a funky little dude. he sometimes just. gums on my hand. which is really weird but also cute. they have small teeth so his chompins dont hurt *too* much unless he gets too excited

Theres FEESH, who's a male clodsire (also from my brother). hes basically bonded with manchester and parents him. its super cute because hell let manchester bite on his little stumpy leggies and its so sweet, theyre also almost always cuddling

Geebole, my female garchomp, is basically my #1 pokemon, her and cirus come with me everywhere, and were working on getting both of them registered as service pokemon! theyre wonderful, and thankfully geebole has sand veil instead of rough skin so shes easier to pet! i got her as a baby gibble too <3 hence her name lol

Psybeam, male dusk lycanroc. i caught him as a regular ol'e rockruff, and as he got older he got a bit more aggresive and bitey. i was expecting him to end up evolving one night, but no! he evolved at like. 5pm on a tuesday and now hes my lovely orange baby! hes named after the move he apparently knows, psybeam, which i didnt know rockruffs could learn!

Hydreigon, they dont respond to any gendered term so i call them Big Bastard. still unnamed other than that, lol. took a lot of training and a lot of repairs to my parents house to get them to not be so bitey and destructive as a hydreigon, but thats why i started working with them early as a deino! honestly at this point theyre fairly sweet, despite the species reputation. theyre a bit tempermental though, and i have to make sure i have PLENTY of chew toys and things they can tear appart else they'll use my matress or something instead. i dont want to have to replace the tv again 😔

skeeby, female arcanine. fun fact, her tera is rock, which is kinda cool! i dont remember how i learned this, lmao. but anyway, when i caught her, she was a growlithe and she deadass attacked me the second i made eye contact. immediately ran and full blown tackled me before i could react lmao, but hey now shes my big ole warm ass cuddlebug! shes a fucking space heater and i love cuddling her on cold winters

Beef Jerky, female volcarona. not a whole lot to say about her, she has -3 braincells but keeps me nice and toasty :) shes also very good at scaring the shit out of me because she learned how to play dead (thank my brother...) and so shell occasionally just Do That with minimal prompting and ill walk out of my room and have a heart attack cause shes on the floor upside down. fucking bastard bug (beloved)

Minior!! Literally JUST got them (as of editing the post), they are so ROUND and shaped and YELLOW!!!!!! god my little beloved right here. not much is known about them yet, but i got them from @teambloodmoonofficial :)

These are just my non-shinies so far! and ill be sure to update with the other non shinies i inevitably get. ill reblog with my shinies, cause i dont *really* want this to drag on forever in just one basic post lmao

#pokebonkus info #bonkus mons #pkmn irl #pokemon #pokemon irl #pokémon

[finagled]

absent but busy

life never seems to slow down to let me catch my breath, so ive been busy trying to keep things going!

this has been a hellish year but also a spectacular one in so many ways. my dad’s death has shattered me tbh, im just not the same person i was before he left and life will never ever be the same with him gone. as somebody who already struggles with identity issues, i had a real hard time knowing how in the world i was supposed to keep going without his input and support. he always saw right through me and could point out things about me i wasnt even aware of yet, but he was always spot on, too. bouncing my ideas off of him is how i learned to human. im coming to realize i loved to succeed and experience so i could tell him and listen to how he loved to hear about it. with him gone, ive felt a sense of emptiness with everything.

im trying to hold on to what he’s taught me. he gave me so many lessons on how to be a person, a good person. he played devils advocate so id learn how to fight for what i knew to be true, and to reevaluate my stance if i couldn’t. he taught me how to treat other people, how every stranger deserves kindness. he taught me that you can be wrong, and that sometimes being wrong is a beautiful thing, because then you learn what’s right. he taught me nothing is worth sacrificing your morals.

the answer to where to find this person now is that now, i have to be this person. the only way for those things about him to live on is if i perpetuate them in my own life. im trying so hard to do this. its not going easy. im told over and over again that im smart, that i work hard, that im good with people, and yet my success has not materialized no matter what i’ve done to secure it. i think, if i just had mental health care and meds, if i could just see a doctor, then id be so great. but i can’t think like that. whether that’s true or not and that’s the only thing in the way between me and living like i feel like im meant to, it doesn’t matter. trying to get government assistance, at least in this state, feels impossible. i dont have the energy to keep hoping they’re going to help. im frustrated to come to the conclusion that i am going to have to metaphorically “pick myself up by the bootstraps” and find a way to push forward in the meantime.

i know im intelligent and have skills that can genuinely and directly help people, because ive done it before. its taken a really long time to have confidence in myself about anything. but i need to start, and then do something with it, because im wasting time waiting for help to arrive.

this is a big ol ramble but it feels good to have the energy to write stuff up. vari and i have been working real hard this past year trying to get the house and our lives set up in a way that will set us both up for success. we’re slowly getting a handle on chores and bills, and our mental health is improving. im slowly pulling all the tangled yarn apart in my brain and getting things sorted.

they took me off adderall and onto strattera, which i actually dont mind. ive heard the medication can precipitate manic episodes in bipolar individuals though, so i wonder if i like it because of that. im depressed so often and its been so long since hypomania, that i really done mind when i wake up with the excess energy and vigor. it doesnt feel extreme like hypomania, more like just having gusto for the day. ill have to keep an eye on it more since its only been about three weeks, but im grateful i havent lost much progress from getting off adderall. the side effects aren’t nearly as powerful either, which is nice.

so im trying. i have too many people i should be getting back to with messages so if youre one of them, im sorry. theres a million things going on and only so much energy each day, but ive drawn up some routines that i hope will encourage me to do more stuff throughout the day other than just chores and sims ;)

thanks to anyone for reading :3

#radcurio

[guessknee]

about me !

aka me nerding out about things i like

Video Games !

the aesthetics, soundtracks, art, landscapes, everything about video games i love. i love playing jrpgs, visual novels and rhythm games. i love watching streams of all types of games though!

currently into watching apex legends, league of legends, valorant, csgo (on occasion), breath of the wild, and some older jrpgs.

i have a goal of beating one major game a month! i love playing games but i often buy too many at once and then play one while forgetting about the others. i dont know if anyone else has that problem so i made a system (gonna get really nerdy for a second) where i track video game releases im interested in for each of my consoles and i pick one game from each month to play and hopefully beat and one game to buy a collectors edition for (if available).

recently completed games

dec-feb

god of war ragnarok

crisis core reunion

one piece odyssey (almost complete 80% of the way done)

games im excited to play soon

the persona ports (jan release)

fire emblem engage (jan release)

octopath traveler 2 (feb release) - collectors edition preorder!

theatrhythm final bar (feb release)

kirbys return to dreamland (feb release)

story of seasons (jan release)

mobile games im playing

twisted wonderland

ensemble stars

genshin impact (on and off)

consoles i own (i have a weird thing with clue consoles and handhelds - i never realized i always bought blue ones till a about a year ago maybe its because i loved sonic as a kid...)

ps5

ps4

ps2

switch (animal crossing)

psp (light blue)

ps vita (light blue/white)

wii (i never use it)

ds

2ds (blue)

dsi (light blue)

Anime / Manga !

i love anime and manga. ive grown up with it ever since i was around 5. i would stay up on saturday nights till 7 am when inuyasha would start playing on adult swim. if i was ever too tired i would record the episode on our dvr and would watch it after getting home from kindergarten. crazy age to watch inuyasha but i always found it so cool.

also grew up on naruto. i am such a naruto nerd i have rewatched the og and shippuden so many times i can tell people which episode events happened, i can sing the openings in order, i can name most characters, etc. the naruto brainrot is bad. same thing with bleach and dragonball z. the new bleach has me so hyped i loved watching every episode made me want to rewatch the main series but i have no time so i just watch small clips here and there.

i love just about every genre of anime tbh. sports animes (baki, hajime no ippo, kengan asura, one outs, eyeshield 21, etc). idol animes (idolish 7, tsukiuta, tsukipro, etc). shounen, mystery, shoujo, literally everything. i have to be in a certain mood to watch mech animes but whenever one comes out that catches my eye i put all my energy into watching it. i think the only genre i dont enjoy much is isekai, i used to like them but new ones come out too often i cant keep up.

currently watching

one piece (caught up)

blue lock

buddy daddies

monster

vinland saga s2

trigun stampede

yowapeda limit break

tokyo revengers s2

Cars !

my day to day guilty pleasure is cars. i love cars. they are cool, go fast, go stutututu, whine, be loud, have cool lights, i love everything about a good car.

i have a brz! bought it myself and it is my pride adn joy. it is one of my favorite cars and when i bought it in november i literally cried. I drive manual and its so fun to me! i want to learn how to drift but im a bit nervous because i dont want to accidentally mess up anything in my car.

Reading !

i love books i love reading. i love fiction, sci-fi, philosophy, nonfiction, fanfiction, everything. I was never into books like harry potter and anything with too many magical elements in them but always loved horror and more mystery thriller books.

i have been dying to buy more physical books to add to my mini library in my room but theres a few books on my backlog i need to complete before i do that.

i also have a slowly growing manga collection that i desperately need to add to.

i read all day all night on my phone but the feeling of flipping real pages is so satisfying and having the weight of a book in my bag is just so nice.

Music !

not to toot my own horn but my spotify wrapped minutes is always 140k+. i listen to music all day everyday. while doing homework, reading, driving, working, in class (pay attention dont be like me), watching stuff it doesnt matter. i have a terrible habit of getting bored of something very easily so i always multitask and need 20 things happening at the same time so music is amazing at keeping me focused.

i love 'underground archive', rnb, krnb, jpop, citypop, lofi, rap, edm, literally a whole lot of stuff. i dont like pop that much ive grown to realize same with country, i can listen to it but only if someone else wants to.

thats it! literally my whole being in a post.

#guessknee #about me <3

[rianandthelittlestories]

I never realized I was far and near enough

I used to be a kid who loves to ask God for money. I mean I literally would ask him to send me money from every prayers I did in church, because I thought than when I prayed really hard. He would give me a million in an instant. Like theres a cash from heaven ready to be sent in my house.

When I was growing I literally didnt have a luxurious life. I belong in the middle class family which means my parents can provide for my daily needs and I don't worry on money too much. I just know I like it but I don't pay attention if we will have another food to eat on our table because my father earns pretty well as chef.

When my family had a conflict, I was forced to fin ways on how I can help my mom since my dad left and he stopped sustaining our needs. I remember that I could spend 10 hours a day looking for a job online just to make sure I survive another day. Fortunately, my eldest sister has her own job and she supported us with financial needs. I am thankful for that.

And when the pandemic happend, my friend and I made a group of commissioners who accept school activities in exchange for money. That's the start of my earning journey. I slowly gather clients and I can earn little by little. I was amazed with the amount I could get from doing school works.

Earlier, during my meeting with am acquaintance, heentioned that he bought a laptop in cash. He's only 20 years old which amuses me. He was very happy with his earning from crypto and I'm learning the basics of it. And then it hit me, that maybe I dont give myself enough recognition because I was focus on what's lacking. I didnt even realized that I did so much and I far from my previous situation now.

When my laptop broke, I was the one who paid for it for 9k,all from my hard earned mony.

When my mom said she wanted water heater, I bought a cheap but realiable one.

When I need a phone because my old one got lost, I bought one for a cheap but smooth system.

When I need to go to Legazpi for a competition I need to attend, I supported myself completely without my mom worrying if I am eating 24/7

When the electricity bill was cut short, I offered to pay what cannot be covered.

When my older sister need an allowance, I send her without a single thought, more than the allowance we get before just tk ensure she won't lose money.

When my mom wanted somthing to eat I pay it w/o worrying about the price.

I can buy my friends gift.

I realized that I did more than I am asked, I did it without the help of my dad. I did all of it because I took the problem as a chance to gain something. I am proud of myself, an even though I am still far from my dreams, I know im getting nearer. Slowly but surely, I will get there. Me and my family will live the best and awsomest life in the next year to come. To all the hussler in the families out there, lets keep winning! See you in the millionaire/billionaire club! 💲✨💚

#family #she writes #struggle #faithoverfear #money #motivation #confession #independent #financialfreedom

[hanazuma-inactive]

Hi! Don't know if you're doing requests now or if this will interest you but... How about a Bokuto x male reader where Bokuto is usually the top when they do it but the one time he bottoms for the reader, he just can't get enough and started to beg to be fucked all the time. Maybe when they're all alone in the locker room

Its okay if you can't haha

songbird, (nsfw) bokuto x top!male reader

pronouns: he/him (FEMALE ORIENTED DNI!!)

warnings: begging, reader is a bottom to begin with, public sex (?) (fucking in a locker room where no ones there), creampie, a tiny bit of overstimulation, degredation if u squint and praise. spit as lubrication, finger sucking.

a/n: i’m writing this at 2 am with like no energy left whatsoever please excuse me if the quality isnt as good as usual and it’s a bit shorter i swear i’m trying my best im not trynna rush requests i just have a lot and theres too many things i need to work on :(

_____

"heh? look at you now kou'...cock dripping precum and i'm not even touching it! how cute~"

"p-please y/n just start moving already i want it so bad…" bokuto whimpered, settled on your cock while you relaxed on the bench. 

"if you say so, my little songbird."

dating bokuto was pretty much a dream of yours. something about his positive and silly personality really made you fall in love with him. you weren't able to confess until second year when your friends pushed you. only to find out the owl looking man had a crush on you too. which explains why he was always more cheery around you than other people, maybe a little too much but you didn't mind. 

your relationship fostered quickly due to the two of you already being friends and on the volleyball team. bokuto couldn't have been more happy, if he was already so ecstatic around you just as friends it's hard to imagine how excited he can be when you too are in a relationship. and as expected, his excitement was very well proven in other ways too. after both of you turned 18 in your third year, bokuto took you home right after drinking with your friends. 

he's been waiting for this since his second year, a few months after you two became official. you were irresistible to him. like the himbo he is, he likes every part of you. your face, your ass, and of course your cock. every part of you excited him to the max. now that both of you are finally legal, he couldn't keep it in his pants any longer. so it was that night, you lost your virginity to the man of your dreams. 

a unspoken rule but bokuto just assumed he was the top in the relationship. you didn't have any complaints about it since he was good with it. his stamina was over the roof for what an average person at his age should be. not only his stamina but also his cock. it makes you feel good everytime no exceptions. you also don't know where he learned it but the tricks he pulled off simply felt heavenly. every movement, every spot he reached and every word he said makes you closer and closer to an orgasm than you already were when you're with him. it's been like that in the bedroom ever since then and neither of you had the thought of changing it, until today. 

you two were doing your usual flirting after the clock after practice. cleaning up the courts together and hanging away the nets. all your other teammates usually just give you an eye roll and leave the gym before you even get the chance to change. leaving the two of you alone, yet again, in the locker rooms. 

"bo' are you hungry? we can grab something on the way back if you are-" your sentence was cut off when the taller male approached you and gave you a hug from behind. 

"hehe, of course i'm hungry~ only for you though," bokuto said with a grin on his face. 

"oh? what are you trying to suggest here?" you said, ruffling with his gray toned hair. 

"well, no one's here anymore and it's just us...so why don't we…" he said reaching down towards your pants. 

"sounds like a good idea to me~" you said, giving him a peck on the lips, making him blush. 

"h-hey, why don't we try something new today! i've been meaning to ask you this-" 

"oh sure what is it w-woah!" 

before you knew it bokuto already dragged your pants down and got on one knee. even a dumbass would know what he's trying to do in this position. 

"well well~ look what we have here." bokuto said with a smirk on his face fiddling with your cock through your underwear. 

you let out a low giggle, getting the clue of what your boyfriend was trying to do. 

"slow down there bo' no need to rush" you said as you removed your underwear too and let held it in your hands in front of bokuto's mouth. 

"go on, this is what you wanted right?"

bokuto was a little startled due to the change of energy from you and gulped a group of spit down his throat. but eagerly, he still began to work on your cock with his mouth. 

he was clumsy with it and you could tell he'd never given a blowjob in his life before. but you gotta admit, his attempt of trying to please you, doing something new like this for the first time was incredibly cute. he struggled a little trying to take in your entire cock and due to his gag reflex not being the best you could hear some gagging noises coming in between your thighs. 

"oh fuck…just like that kou' you're doing so well…" you said, pressing your hand into his hair and slowly adapting a rhythm. 

bokuto's eyes became hazy and you could tell he was getting lost in your cock. you looked down to see his shorts forming a wet spot where his hard cock is. you pulled him away from your cock and leaned back on the bench, leaving him begging for something to fill him. 

"c'mon, big boy, isn't this what you wanted?" 

too lost for words your boyfriend simply climbed on top of you and took off his trousers too, leaving both of your hard cocks exposed. 

"why don't we get started, suck on these fingers with that pretty mouth of yours won't you baby?" you said sitting back up and leaning a bit towards bokuto. 

"y-yes y/n…" bokuto said as he closed his eyes and took two of your fingers into his mouth, gradually taking three. 

"that's it good boy~ but…i think you've had enough of that now." you pulled you fingers out of bokuto's mouth, leaving him yet again empty. 

"lean in on my shoulders ko' that's right...just, like, that" 

you slowly moved your already wet fingers into bokuto's ass, starting with two to loosen him up and moving on to three to further stimulate his pleasure point. 

"a-ah fuck! y/n what is that! i-it feels weird…" he whined as you pressed again and again on his prostate. 

"oh you'll see bo' it'll make you feel so much better in just a minute…" you said pulling out your fingers and pushing bokuto back in a position where you can see him while he rides you. 

"go on, i know you want it inside you~" 

you could tell bokuto was nervous but he gathered the courage to place your hard cock inside him, with a lot of effort of course. he moaned in pain and pleasure as you enter him entirely. waiting for him to settle in, you cup his cheek to tell him how good he's being. 

"heh... look at you now kou...cock dripping precum and i'm not even touching it! how cute~"

"p-please y/n just start moving already i want it so bad…" bokuto whimpered, settled on your cock while you're relaxed on the bench. 

"if you say so, my little songbird."

you began to move, answering his request. slowly of course, you didn't want to hurt him being his first time and all even though you know he likes it rough. as your thrusts became harder and faster you could hear bokuto's painful moans become more pleasurable ones. 

"y-y/n fuck me, oh fuck me it feels so fucking good!" 

"yah baby boy? you like that don't you, such a slut for my cock, filling you like it's the only thing you could think of." 

sooner or later bokuto couldn't hold it in anymore, his pre was leaking a lot more and you could tell he was close. 

"y/n i'm coming oh fuck~" 

"fuck...me too bo'!" you said while cumming inside of your boyfriend. one hand stroking his cumming and already sensitive cock and the other grabbing onto his tight ass. 

needless to say he passed out from the pleasure coming from both his behind and front, leaving you holding him in the mess the both of you made. 

"guess we might have to change some rules in the bedroom now huh?" 

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x reader smut #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x male reader smut #haikyuu x m!reader #haikyuu x m!reader smut #hq smut #hq x reader #hq x reader smut #hq x male reader #hq x male reader smut #bokuto #bokuto x reader #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader smut #bokuto x male reader #bokuto x male reader smut #bokuto smut

[princeanxious]

:) so. No one ordered it, but, I have an Logan Angst(w/ hurt/comfort to balance it out a little) au idea to deliver!

So you know those AU fics w/ Virgil where he hides smth unusual abt himself( Like wings, Spider limbs, Being unusually tall, ect.) Bc he’s afraid of what the others will think/do if they find out?

Take that and apply it to Logan, But he’s actually been hiding it ever since (AU)!Thomas became Obsessed with Marine Biology as a kid!(i genuinely cant remember what Thomas's real life degree was gonna be b4 he switched to YouTube but for the au's sake im going with marine biologist)

What’s he hiding, you ask? Fish scales, of course!

(Continued under the cut)

Logan used to wear long sleeves all the time, and Sherlock bit with the scarf was a cover up for when he used to wear it constantly when they were younger, not that Virgil(who has spider traits in this but never thought to hide them b4 he was accepted, and by that point there was no reason to) nor any of the other dark sides with animal traits knew about it either, but his body, especially his legs and hips, were covered in shimmery sapphire blue scales, and in patches around the gills on his neck and ribs.

Why doesn't Logan wear long sleeves now? Because the scales suddenly stopped reappearing (coincidentally right around the time Thomas gave up on marine biology to do youtube) on his arms the few times they'd accidentally been pulled off some how, be it bumps/scrapes or eventually Logan getting fed up w/ the illogicalness of it all and 'removing' the rest on his arms so that he could finally wear short sleeves and not raise more questions about his health.

The scales around the gills on his neck are more tragic, as they do regrow still, to keep his gills safe. He plucks them as close to the gills as possible, before wearing masking makeup & a high collar with a tie to ensure his gills never peak out from his shirt.

It limits his normal comfortable way of breathing, but hes been doing it so long that he doesnt remember what it feels like, and thus isn't bothered by it anymore, as his gills dont open up fully anymore unless submerged under water for a long period of time.

Why is he so insistant about thomas drinking the healthy recommended amount of water? Because if Logan didn’t, he'd suffer migraines and get sick from being dehydrated in easily less than half the time it'd take for Thomas or any of the others to reach

Why doesnt he ever go swimming with the others? Because if he did, there's no gaurantee his body would let him leave the water after refusing to so much as even soak in a bathtub for years at this point

Hell, his body might even go into shock at that point.

No idea how his reveal would go, but the idea of the others spraying him with water spray bottles when he is over-dry and resultingly irritable has been brought up as an additional idea by @this-is-ske(my lovely frien who lets me info dumb abt all my aus so we can shout abt them together) and my only thought is that Logan is spiteful and petty enough to snatch a spray bottle and spray them right back.

He often needs to spray himself with water, even if he’d had a shower not two hours ago, because his scales dry out very quickly and its sensory hell in combination with even the softest of dress pants.

But the years of neglect slowly turned his shimmery sapphire blue scales into dulled greyblue, as a result from being dried out and flakey and unhealthy for so long.

He tries not to think about it too hard when he's forced to look at them.

Remus wouldn’t hesitate to toss post-reveal(and post-recovery)! Logan full out into a fucking pool, or just hop into one and drag him in with. "Dry Fishies are irritated fishies, be like me! Get wet and feel better!" *Cue Remus eye brow waggle that reflects to the rest of his tentacle arms*

No but srsly remus and janus finding iut and going "oh HELL no" bc janus knows what its like to not take care of your scales properly and Remus knows what its like to dry out.

Imagine the additional angst when Janus finds out not only about the scales but the gills on his ribs and neck too, and feels SUPREMELY guilty bc of the crook yank he did

"Its fine, its not like I could breath out of them anymore, they just bruised a bit longer" *even more concerned and upset Janus noises*

"What do you mean you cant breath out of them anymore!"

" ..One day they just wouldn't open? Sort of like the equivalent of a stuffed nose, except that they never reopened because they'd fully dried out, I think."

"I swear to god Logan I wish I could strangle you," *cue Janus wapping Logan w/ a rolled up paper, Edna Mode style, lecturing* "One day! You'll understand! Self care! Is good! For you!"

Cue them finally bullying Logan into taking care of them but no longer hiding the scales as the ones on his arms start coming back, but still greyblue, bc at this point Logan doesnt even want to deal with the immediate headache of them learning right off the bat that they Shouldnt Look Like That. He doesnt even really believe that they'll ever change back to their once brilliant blue, thinking it just a fluke with their age or something.

It takes months.

And then one day he wakes up, having been sleeping in the imagination with Remus, having indulged in underwater sleeping as a healing therapy, made better only by the fact that Remus is a rly good cuddler, and his tentacles keep them both locked together in the water, *and* one anchors them so they don't drift away in their sleep.

Remus is staring at him, his chest to be exact, where new patches of scales had been growing to meet in the middle around the gills on his ribs. He looks down and notices theres an uneven patch of brilliant blue peaking out from the sea of comparably grey scales. Then he notes that multiple patches of scales are slowly regaining their hue. It doesn't take long for the others to put two and two together about sick fish with dull scales. It confirms Logan had been sick for Years, and was only Just healing to a beginning state of equilibrium.

For some comfort w/ all this angst, when Logan does see his blue scales for the first time? He smiles, he smiles so wide at Remus. Remus probably falls in love with the way Logan's gills flare out prettily in time with Logan's smile. Logans finally convinced to take care of himself, and the first glimpse of progress has him Beaming for Days.

#sanders sides #logan sanders #platonic dlampr #intrulogical #logan angst #luka writes #luka’s aus #platonic loceit #romantic intrulogical #ask to tag #hurt/comfort

[bioodorange]

||The Pastas At The Beach||

this was originally like an entirely different post but ehhh this ways better!

disclaimer Im setting this like, at a beach with a boardwalk and such next too it? Public beach, small time vacationing!

and that they conviently like..pass as human

I hope you guys enjoy!! remember too check out my announcement board!

taglist: @frozensriracha @creepy-bi-day @capricornartistsstuff @krayolacolor

Jeff the Killer

Jeff doesn't really do much at the beach

The salt water irritates his skin and he burns easily, doesn't want too deal with it

Spends most of his time asleep

Hogs all the damn towels by sprawling out all over all of them

Gets sand over everything that they brought with them

Forgets how wind works and it gets everywhere

When its time for some of em too go get food, he always fucking goes

Wants too walk around and do something, and maybe not get blamed for all the fucking sand when everyone sits back down

He wears one of those like protective long sleeved shirts? and red swim trunks that are just somewhat obnoxiously bright

While getting the food he has a brilliant idea

Befriends the fucking seagulls

Lures them back too their umbrellas and just vibes with his bird army

atleast he's not alone anymore?

Ben Drowned

first off I know like he doesn't go swimming

but imagine if he did

his fucking goggles get filled up with blood

gets weird ass tan lines from the blood on his face like, when he's not swimming

has too wear the goggles when he puts on sunscreen-

ok ok thats it

fucker wears like mountain dew swim trunks

and those arm floatie things despite not going anywhere near the water

He tries too sit around Jeff but that gets boring fast-

Just walks the fuck off without telling anyone, on a journey for adventure

Will spend literal hours sitting underneath the boardwalk until someone finds him

After that they get him like one of thise beach toy kit things

Sally's nice enough too fill the bucket with water too, so they can make sand castles and stuff

She walks along the shore line with him, gets pretty shells too

Also if Ben were too go in the water

He's a fucking shark magnet with all that blood-

But don't tell him that, he won't come back too the beach

Ticci Toby

Toby is very excited too go to the beach

He didn't get out much as a kid

Siked as hell too get in the water

Drops his stuff off as soon as possible and runs right into the water

And thats when he realizes he can't fucking swim

Awkwardly flaps his arms around until a wave moves him along too back where he can stand

Everyones kinda confused when he comes back like "?? You were so excited, what happened?"

"I can't swim :(("

Cody volunteers to teach him right away, like the great brother he is

The thing is Cody is a horrible fucking teacher

Another few minutes of Toby getting owned by some waves and Cody just screaming stuff like

"Use your arms Toby- no not like that how I showed you- no I'm not going too help how are you supposed to learn-"

That's when Kate drags him back too shore and Doby and Brian teach him instead

In a bit he learns and ends up having a lot of fun

I feel like Toby would really like boogie boarding?

A lot easier then surfing but still a good time

Also they have too tie a red scarf around his arm so they don't loose his ass in a crowd, or in the water

Third Base

so far, Doby's the only one on this list who actually came prepared

I feel like he'd use one of those face lotions that has SPF 30 in it already?

Smart enough so he doesn't have too smear sun screen around his face, can just use the spray stuff and get going

Also has shoes and sunglasses too go with each like swimsuit/outfit he brings

Mans is put together

Really likes collecting shells and stuff

Walks with Sally, shows her how too find them

Wakes up kinda early as it is? So its easy for him too go too the beach early and find the shells before the tide pulls them back out

It's one of his favorite times, actually

The suns just rising, a few shops are opening, only a handful of people are on the beach

Does it everyday as his "alone time" before everyone else wakes up

Spends most of his time with everyone kinda relaxing?

I can see him really liking those beach volleyball games

Or just playing frizbee in the shallow water!

Really, really enjoys making sand castles

Builds a moat and everything so it stays up when the waves start coming closer

X-Virus

Cody, another kid who never got much beach expierence

But acts like he did

Buys one of those waterproof, phone lanyard things

Forgets too fucking close it properly

Doesn't have the first idea of what seagulls are like

"Oh come on buys its fine-" gets fucking owned for his cheesestick

Lowkey scared of them after that

Refuses too eat on the beach after that

Sits with ben under the board walk and curls around his chips

Spends most of his time in the water

Wants too see how far he can go before the lifegaurd calls him back

Finds it funny as shit too just slowly go deeper while grinning at them

Until a wave slaps him in the back of the head

And then he gets scared of the deepwater too

After he looses Swimming Coach privellages gets really fucking salty and sulks on the beach

Kate takes pity on him and walks around the boardwalk with him

But he also didn't know you have too reapply sunscreen after you go swimming

Gets really really bad sunburn

Jeff, Ben and Toby take turns slapping it whenever he gets too cocky

Masky

This is gonna be a Dad Tim one, fight me

Really has no idea what the fuck is going on, but still manages too keep everyone together?

Tells the same story, atleast twice a day, about the killer wave that almost took his shorts off

Gets in fights with seagulls whenever they get realitively close too the group

Also buys one of those crappy beach wagon things too put their stuff in

Buys a mug and cheesy beer koozie

Doesn't enjoy the beach that much but gets excited too go?

Ends up sitting down for most of the time unless he gets dragged on walks

Might just kinda walk until the water is at his knees and just kinda stand there, and nod a little

Giving mother nature his approval

He takes Sally out and holds onto her stomach, lifts her up over the waves whenever they come

Asks her what she can see, before he drops her back down

Tries it with Ben, gets kicked in the gut-

Favorite time is when it's dark and they go

Not for a long time, just a few minutes too walk along the shore before it gets dark

Hoodie

Designated photographer

Is supposed too be taking photos but mostly gets footage of the stupid shit that happens

Like Jeff not being able too figure out the dishwasher or Clockwork wrestling with her dresser where only half the drawers worked

Just kinda sits back and watches things go up in flames

He's the designated like playlist guy too? On the drive over, whenever he got bored just

"Hey what song should I play?"

And watches chaos ensue

His vacation is watching everyone else have a bad time

Makes up for it though, saves them a shit ton of money by making dinner every night.

I feel like he genuinely enjoys late nights on the beach, like Tim

Gets some beautiful photos of the water, and people taking walks that he's pretty damn proud of

Maybe once or twice he'll join Doby for a walk too get pictures of the rising sun

Likes getting small things from the gift shops

Shark teeth, maybe a cheesy snowglobe

Something silly but nice too remember the trip by

Eyeless Jack

first things first, ya know those double-lens glasses? Like you flip up the sunglass part and theres normal lenses underneath? Someone gave him those

But their are crappy eyes painted on the normal lenses

He's very confused but its just ridiculous enough for him too like

The beach isn't his favorite place, I HC him as nocturnal and most things are open during the day

He takes too the rides and crappy carnival games that are open late at night

He can't see everything super well but makes up fun things for himself

Enjoys going on rollercoasters that he has no idea what the hell the drops look like

Fucking hates bumper cars

Can't tell where everyone's coming from or when

More nerve racking then fun

Whenever they go to the beach beach he just kind of chills

Akwardly curls up on a towel because he's big as shit

Where ever they stay he walks around, uses his echo location shit too find out all its quirks

"This walls more hallow then that one- those support beams in the lobby are doing a very shitty job of keep things together"

Loves sitting out on the balcony and just smelling the salt air, listening too people laughing and the ocean waves

Just the small details a lot of people miss

#Jeff the killer #jeff the killer headcanons #ben drowned #ben drowned heacanons #ticci toby #ticci toby headcanons #third base #third base head canons #doby doggers #x virus #x virus headcanons #masky #masky headcanons #hoddie #hoodie #hoodie headcanons #eyeless jack #eyeless jack headcanons #creepypasta #creepypasta headcanons #slenderverse #slenderverse headcanons

[kiwikipedia]

Cin Drallig didn’t have Clones under his command. We know this, he wasn’t a General, he was the Battlemaster and head of the Temple Guard Security. But I propose an AU.

It starts with a small choice. After a long day of standing and doing quite literally nothing for hours on end, the Temple Guards who were on the day shift disperse into Coruscant. Technically not against the Jedi Way but going to get inebriated or just bar hopping for the fun of it— or worse, getting into the semi-illegal, underground, lower level fighting rings— wasn’t exactly something that the Jedi looked favorably upon.

But the Jedi Temple Guard get restless after standing still for so long, especially the newer Guards, and Cin pretends he doesn’t see when a group of his kids Guards come stumbling back in the early morning hours with credits won from a gambling match and wide grins.

Anyhow, like any other Jedi, the Guard do have friends among the rest of the Temple, so they know of the Clones and have obviously seen them when Jedi arrive and leave the temple with their Battalions, Companies, Platoons— you know, the usual. After a while, the Guards just... start showing up at 79s and interact with the Clones while there. Which is weird because, first of all, when dressed in civvie clothing, the Guard are practically unrecognizable as very few see their faces, but secondly these are just random Jedi coming up to Clones and buying them drinks, playing card games with them, or thanking them for their efforts on the Front.

Several ask for stories about the time on the Front because “We’re stuck on Coruscant and sure, the duty to protect the Temple is really important but we were all trained by Master Drallig beyond our own Padawan training. I’m pretty sure Master Drallig is just as restless as we are too” and they want to know about what they’re not allowed to go and see themselves. Of course, War is horrible, and more than one Guard is horrified about whats going on— especially when a certain Jedi’s battalion gets back Krell you bitc h im talking about you— and they all learn about the casualty numbers.

The Guard does talk in their free time, their masks have coms built into them— and Cin has an earpiece to keep in contact with the Guard as well. Though they seem to forget that he’s on their group link and they all start talking during shifts while they stand outside the doors or in the halls about the War and the Clones and, whoops, one of them lets it slip that they cant believe that the Clones are supposed to fight Darksiders without Lightsabers. Like sure, Blasters do damage, and certainly more than one Jedi has been gunned down ( “Rest in the Force, Master Di” is echoed through the link ) but really! Theres only so much their Armor can do for them! A lightsaber would cut through it like flimsi.

Cin, of course, startles them all by asking for confirmation that the Clones— who he had been told were all trained to be very skilled in combat— had no Saber training because remember, Cin and the Temple Guard knew very little about the Clones because they were told that “it’s not I mportant to tell you all, as you won’t be working with the Clones”

Once he has confirmation that no, the Clones didn’t have any Saber training and were expected to go up against Darksiders like Ventress and Dooku with just blasters and their bodies, he just sighs.

The next day he brings three of the Guard and also Bene with him down to the Barracks— and a shit ton of practice Sabers. And who else was there but the Clone Dad ™ we all know and love? That’s right, and guess who thinks training the Clones to use lightsabers is a great idea and “Well, now I wonder why I hadn’t thought of it first, Master Drallig”? 

Plo fucking Koon.

So of course, the 104th is put through what the Padawans had called “Training Hell”— especially since the Clones don’t have years between deployments like the Initiates had before becoming padawans. The Six forms are taught, Cin brings in more of the Guard who have mastered their respective Forms and Bene has fun with the Boys ™ as well because she goes through katas with them, wipes the floor in practice duels with others, and now the Guard has to compete with the 104th (and Plo) spoiling Bene.

( ”You’re spoiling my Padawan, Master Koon” “[laughter] your padawan? I think you mean ours” “If that’s the case then our men should know not to spoil her so much. The Guard do a fantastic job on their own.” )

( This is, of course, without even bothering to ask the Council or the GAR’s higher ups, this is all on his and the Guard’s own actions— its easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. But hey, if Plo Koon was on board than Cin has a leg up if it get brought to the Council anyways. )

When the 104th leaves for the Front again, guess whose Clones are next— the 501st. This time the rumors are going around that the 104th is suddenly more vicious than before and the 501st is eager to know what happened while they were on shore-leave. They soon regret it, because Training Hell is— well— Hell. Anakin and Ahsoka have flashbacks to when they went through Training Hell and Bene laughs at them.

Slowly, each Clone battalion, platoon, company and so on are being trained by a near constant rotation of the Temple Guard, Bene, and Cin— and their own Jedi as well. A few knights that Cin personally trained— like Serra Keto— as well join in when they can. Cin puts in a request to go to Illum and gather more Kyber Crystals for more “training sabers” but half the Council who know and approve of Cin’s actions already know— the man’s planning on making at least a thousand lightsabers for the Vode to pass around.

The Temple Guard have a Lightsaber Building Night where they assemble the “training sabers” together and talk about their Clones because the Vode might have their Jedi Generals, but the Guard have claimed all of the ones they’ve trained as theirs too. Especially the Coruscant Guard.

Bene happily gives Fox, Thorn, Thire, Stone, and Hound their lightsabers first, having assembled all of them with Serra.

(And now for the angst)

It’s all well and good— the GAR starts gaining more ground, less Clones are dying.

And then Operation Knightfall and Order 66 hit.

The Jedi on the ground cannot possibly raise their sabers to these men that they helped train, cant possibly defend from blaster shots while also blocking lightsaber strikes that were taught under the Battlemaster’s strict teaching because he taught them to keep them alive—

And in the Temple?

Well, after Grand Inquisitor murdered all the Guard he could find, even after everything, those that remain are just horrified as they are forced into battle with their vode. Certainly, Cin’s job of protecting the Temple from the Clones is much harder than before, now that they’re armed with Lightsabers and it hurts because “by gods what have I done, I’ve given them the means to kill us all—” but also “I trained these men, they were like the Guard, like my sons—”

Instead of Vader, Cin’s murdered by six lightsaber wielding clones after a split second of faltering because gods he can’t.

And for a split second, when the sabers enter his body, the Clones behind them jolt awake— horrified as they realize that it’s Teacher Drallig on the other end, face twisted in pain as he falls and it’s little Bene’s choking gasps that are behind them as Vader strangles her to death.

But that split second is over too soon, and the Sabers are removed and the Clones move on— good soldiers follow orders, after all, and Teacher Drallig and Little Bene the Jedi Battlemaster and his student were just Traitors, after all. Good soldiers follow orders.

#I had a thought and it sorta vanished but the general idea made it in #Cin Drallig #Bene (Star Wars) #Serra Keto #Plo Koon #Anakin Skywalker #Jedi Temple Guards #Coruscant Guard #Commander Fox #Commander Thorn #Commander Thire #Commander Stone #Commander Hound #104th battalion #Star Wars #star wars: the clone wars #star wars: the expanded universe #Star Wars: EU #star wars the prequel trilogy #AU #Star Wars AU #penguinkiwi talks about writing #alternative universe #Order 66 #Lightsaber Clones

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Horse info 101

A horse girl’s guide to the basics for fic writing with an important and lively horse involved:

This got kinda long I’m kinda sorry but not at all lol 

There's three basic gaits (speeds with different patterns of hoof-fall/leg movements

Walking is the slowest and is a four beat gait, meaning each foot hits the ground at a different time. Usually the same pace as a walking human when the horse is calm. Some breeds can walk HELLA fast though. Most horses will fill the same spot/hole where their front hoof was with their back hoof on the same side. If they overstep they clip their fetlock (joint lookin bit above the hoof) or pastern (bit between the hoof and fetlock) and can injure themselves. 

Now trotting. The middle gait, a person can jog next to a trot at a comfortable pace but if you push them a little horses can trot faster than your average HS track endurance athlete. Once again some breeds can trot HELLA fast. This is a two beat gait in that two diagonally opposite legs are moving in unison. In some english saddles (I’ll get into that later if we have class time) it’s easier to post while the horse is trotting rather than sit for the gait. That just means you stand up in the irons (stirrups on an english saddle, we’ll also cover that later) at the same time that one of the front legs moves forward. 

Also, see how the trotting horse’s head looks? That’s how they travel when they’re relaxed and attentive. The tucked head thing you see Roach doing is because there’s tension on the reigns and Henry learned to ride for an english seat not a western pleasure seat (might get into those but they’re really not important)

Time for the Canter/Lope. This is a three beat gait so that means two legs are moving in unison and the other two are not. Horses canter/lope fast. This is the go-time gait. Some performance/dressage horses are trained to canter extremely slow but if we’re talking transportation trained horses they’re not gonna be that kind of slow. Your average human is not gonna be able to keep up with this for long if at all. This varies in speed too. There's a rather casual canter seen in the gif directly below, then below that is the balls to the wall canter/lope that most horse people just refer to as a run. That’s as fast as they can go.

Basic tack names

Halter + Lead/Lead Rope - these can be made of rope, leather, nylon (more modern) but the halter is generally used for leading and tying.

Bridle - this is the one that you use while you ride, it holds the bit in their mouth. There’s millions of different types of bridles but they’re usually made out of leather even now. sometimes you get rope/nylon ones but I don’t trust them.

Reins - connect to the bit and you use them to steer and control speed. Horses trained in western or one handed riding will ‘neck rein’ which means if you move your hand to the right and the left rein brushes their neck they will move to the right.

Bit - the metal piece in the horses mouth. most english riding bits are broken (joint in the middle) and most western ones are solid. there’s a gap behind the horse’s front teeth and that’s where the metal sits. Some horses have smaller mouths than others and do better with solid bits because the ‘broken’ ones will hit the top of their mouth and hurt. There’s also things called ‘shanks’ on some bits which are just longer pieces of metal that attach to the sides of the pieces in their mouth and point downward. This gives the rider more leverage and makes any tug on the reins stronger. (google “Horse bit shank” if this doesn’t make sense)

Saddle - you sit in it. simple right? wrong. There’s two main types of saddles, Western - with the horn like you see in the running gif, and English- the loping gif without the horn. The saddles used in the Witcher look like the pre-english saddle versions but the basic parts you need to know are the same. The part where you ass goes? that’s the seat. the part right in front of your crotch? That’s the pomel. that’s your ‘oh shit handle’ if anything goes screwy (other than the mane). The part that sticks up and keeps your ass in place? That’s the cantle. I like western saddles SO MUCH MORE but i also grew up mainly riding western so im biased. 

Stirrups/Irons - stirrups and irons are where your feet go. In western saddles they’re called stirrups and they’ve got wider decorative leather flaps (called fenders, also originally added to protect trousers/legs from the horse sweat and the buckles of the cinch) and on english saddles they’re called irons because they are usually made of iron and rather slim. Geralt’s irons look pretty similar to modern ones, slim leather straps, minimal iron (or steel or any other strong metal really). Traditional english riders have knee high boots like you see in regency costumes which removes the need for the fenders like on western saddles. 

Cinch/girth - this is what keeps the saddles on. You take a strap and attach it to one side of the saddle, run it under the belly right behind their front legs and attach it to the other side. Its usually made of a strong fabric with wool or some kind of softer lining for western riding. English riding uses a leather one most of the time though this horse girl hates them because they’re harder to cinch up. English saddles use buckles while Western saddles use another leather strap to run through the chinch/girth buckle and you either tie it off or use it like a belt. 

Chest strap - this keeps the saddle from sliding backwards. It’s attached to both sides of the saddle by buckles and between the front legs its attached to the cinch/girth. this is pretty universal but not always used. Geralt uses one though. 

Saddle pad - goes under the saddle to protect the baby’s back and whithers (spot where the neck meets the back and the mane ends)

Tacking up and untacking takes time. This is usually 5-10 minutes when done at a leisure pace and done right.

Basic grooming

Brush down before tacking up - you don’t want stuff chaffing the pony while you ride

brush after untacking- helps clear skin of irritants and feels nice

Shedding scraper/curry comb to get rid of shedding hair - if you want a pic of these just google them I think I’m close to the pic limit for my post. 

HOOF PICK - keep the baby's feet clean and clear if rocks so they don't bruise but also so nothing get infected

Yes, plz brush their mane it gets MATTED - a hairbrush works but a wide tooth comb is best

Horses roll to itch their backs and clean off, sounds counterintuitive with the dirt but it works

Shaving a little spot for the bridle to sit is pretty modern but it's easier for everyone involved

Horse Colors- guys roach is not brown she’s a chestnut color

The only thing I have to add to this is that the “Leopard” one is called “appaloosa” in the US at least, and “Pinto” is also reffered to as “Paint” and there’s all sorts of different patterns that you can see. also i want a buckskin so bad. yes i was obsessed with Spirit as a child why do you ask?

Travel care of your babies

Horses CAN and have subsisted off roadside grasses and grazing at night BUT it's good for them to get a lil something extra ESPECIALLY if you’re keeping them in a stall at night where they can’t graze.

Hay and grains like cracked wheat, oats, barley and the like are commonly found in horse feed. Also a lil drizzle of molasses is chock full of calories and all my horses LOVE the taste.

also while we’re talking food: some horses cant keep all the juice/bits in their mouth when they eat apples (we fondly call it making applesauce) or other treats/veg. Yes it gets all over your hand, yeah its kinda gross, but there’s worse things.

Shoes. Babe's need horse shoes. Especially if they're walking over rocks and roads.

Throwing a shoe (when it comes off on accident) is painful sometimes and if left un-dealt with can affect their joints and spine. Imagine walking around in one heeled shoe and one athletic shoe all day. Ow.

On that note though, on lighter travel seasons it's nice to give their hooves a break from shoes (also cheaper)

Horse moods:

horse mood ear chart here: I cant add much tbh

If a horse is comfortable/happy/relaxed they will ‘chew’ on nothing. Just kina a little lip smack type deal. My horse’s bottom lip would hang a couple centimeters below his top one when he was relaxed and I would put my chapstick in it while I fussed with other things.

When a horse is uncomfrotable/scared/tense their lips get sealed tight. I call it ‘fish butt lips’ bc they’re watertight and NOTHING is getting in there. 

Stamping hooves can be a few things. Antsy and ready to roll, nervous, deadass scared, or playful/excited. 

A full whinny is communication - saying hi, warning, scared, etc.

the really soft whinny is called a nicker and its my favorite sound okay? that’s little soft communication and its usually reserved for times when they’re comfortable.

When they’re really relaxed they’ll cock one of their back legs kinda how we shift our weight to one hip. 

general fun facts:

Some horses fake limp when they don’t want to work bc they are lazy and smart and realize their person will get off and check them out and maybe even give them a rest. 

You do a preliminary leg injury test by running your hands slowly over their legs and checking for hot spots - inflammation caused by injury is warm

Basic horse saftey is never stand directly in front of the horse if theres a possibility of spooking, if you’re gonna walk behind them walk out of reach of their hooves or right up against that ass. If they cant get a good wind up it wont do as much damage (on that note though I rode/trained horses for 18 years and was only kicked once by a foal). 

It’s kinda common sense not to walk/sidestep between your horses legs and under their belly but we do it all the time bc its a trust thing? adrenaline? its fun?

laying on your horse’s back sans saddle, and facing their butt is so nice okay, that ass is soft and cushy and perfect for a nap. I miss laying on my horses while they ate like this every damn day. 

Horses can sense your moods. Not unlike the whole ‘witchers smelling you’ thing. They can feel a difference in the tension on the reins and in your posture when you’re tense or relaxed.

Some horses will take care of their riders, some are absolute shits and push the limits for funsies. Some horses will only behave for people they’re used to too. Some horses have trauma from being mistreated and will have triggers kinda like people do. We had a horse who would freak the fuck out if anyone walked around with a red had but as soon as you took it off she was the most level headed horse we had.

A good portion of horses (Who aren’t scared of children) will behave better with kiddos or novice riders because they feel they’re nervous.

If they hurt while they’re moving they usually limp but sometimes they’ll buck. It’s their defense mechanism. 

Horses can’t sleep for too long laying down because their body weight will collapse their lungs. Most horses sleep standing up.

They can sit like a dog and it’s hella cute. 

Stung by bees? Most horses will take off at a dead sprint bucking and hopping unless you’ve done a lot of trust work/training with them

They also run and jump and buck and rear to play.

If theres two horses in a pasture together one will chew at the other’s whithers (or anywhere else) to ask them to scratch them the same way. its very cute and they sometimes try this with people.

horses hug. I cry. 

the whole deal with the rider/horse relationship is it’s a mutual trust you’re building. They let you sit on their back and do weird shit and you trust them not to throw you.  

Thank you for coming to class today! If there’s any questions feel free to message me! I’m not kidding I wanna answer your questions and I miss my horses so this is fun for me.

@elliestormfound​ here it is boo! lol 

#the witcher #fan fic #writing tools #horse girl geralt #horse girl solidarity #this got out of hand but what can i say

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

I just found out I'm 5 weeks after a few cycles of trying. I knew it would be rough but ur kind of scaring me now lol. I always hear mothers saying stuff like "Pregnancy was the best!" or "I miss being pregnant!" and people do it over and over again, so there must be something to love about it. Right?

Of course! there’s plenty to love about it:

many people lament the changes their body goes through during pregnancy, especially the bump growing. personally? i fucking love it. literally i’ve never loved the way my body looks more than right now, and i used to be fit as fuck. i was sleek and curvy and all sorts of hot, i look EXACTLY the opposite now and yet i LOVE it.

the dips of my stretch marks, my huge slowly rounding belly, my jiggle thighs, my muffin top hips spilling over my pants, my skin is SO fucking soft, i seriously cant keep my hands off myself. if my tits werent plagued by lymphedema i’d probably love them too, but in a sleep bra they look sooooo good in my new maternity shirts. ESPECIALLY ruffle blouses. i genuinely adore the way i look heavily pregnant, and i will absolutely miss it terribly.

i mentioned before that i hate the rolls and swishes (especially the stretches) but i LOVE kicks. seeing my belly move around is surreal and kind of freaky, but in an amazing way. kicks are so... assertive. “i’m here! i’m alright! i’m growing patiently! i’m exercising!” it’s so soothing to know they’re doing well in there, in a place i can’t reach them. i’ll poke them back and they’ll react! it’s so sweet. getting kicked in the butthole isnt so sweet, but i do think its funny tbh.

learning their routine in there is so nice in a weird way. i know what foods they react strongly to(baby loves spicy), and how they react to light. they like to settle on one side of my belly button or the other, and i can feel their head (or ass?) just hanging out there. resting. i can caress my baby through my skin. it’s gross but its so lovely.

i get to park in the expectant parking spots heehee >:3c (i already have a blue badge, but when the blue spots are full, there’s still a close space for me most of the time) i always do an evil little laugh when i pull in like im doing crimes.

my hair still falls out, but not nearly as much as it did pre-pregnancy. it gets greasy a lot slower too.

i still get pimples, but not nearly as many as i did pre-pregnancy. (T1 doesnt count. T1 was like Puberty 2. hopefully yours isnt as blegh)

i’m compelled beyond understanding to drink TONS of water. I have never drank this much daily water in my LIFE. i am extremely hydrated and feel healthy.

i’m compelled beyond understanding to get into the sunlight. i stand outside for a few moments on sunny days and feel like im photosynthesizing. i never did this before now.

im generally more optimistic rather than doomscrolling my own brain for hours a day.

i feel more responsible, i feel like the decisions i make have a future in mind rather than impulsivity. i feel purposeful. my mental health has improved drastically.

i eat so much more fruit than i used to

my sleep is plagued by nightmares sure but i sleep SO fast now. it used to take me hours to fall asleep. now it’s mere minutes. is this how the other side lives???

people are way more willing to help me, and other parents readily and eagerly answer a complete strangers random questions like “was that expensive? is it easy to use? does it fit in your car well?” that from any other person would feel upsetting and invasive. i was looking at nipple balm confusedly in target a few months ago and a total stranger called out to me and asked if i needed help, then pointed out which are vegan, which have this or that ingredient, which allergens to be aware of, which have a strong smell, which were oily or lotion-y, and when i picked one (earth mama butter) just said “great choice, you’re gonna smell so good. good luck babe!” and left with her cute toddler who was happily chanting “nip-ple, nip-ple, nip-ple,”. ideal interaction. i still think about that woman. she smelled like cheerios and strawberries.

there’s plenty to love and enjoy, just like theres plenty to hate and be miserable about.

and when it comes to people who say “pregnancy was the best! i miss it!” i personally have a feeling that if it’s not because of stigma of looking “unappreciative” of pregnancy, it is because keeping an infant alive is fucking miserable, and parenting blows chunks. i’m sure that comparatively, being extremely uncomfortable and in pain for the better part of a year might actually have been the best part for them, even if they had the roughest parts.

i’ll definitely miss the way i currently feel about my body. i’ll miss the QUIET for sure, and the idleness. and ill miss sleeping so soundly, even if there’s nightmares. i’ll miss getting to shirk chores because my body hurts, and i’ll miss having 100% of my husband’s attention, but he’ll miss having 100% of mine too so at least its fair.

but........ i won’t be doing this again :^) at least unless i have free healthcare, because my GOD the bills are OUTRAGEOUS. fuck that shit.

congrats on your success, anon. it’s a rollercoaster.

#i want a second one but i'm thinking we'll adopt #long post #again soz #pregnancy #for ts #me babby #op #ask #Anonymous

[kuboism]

Bleach Canon Vs. Studio Clown Episode 1

Intro to the series

WARNING: Long read but theres plenty of pictures

The first deviation we’re greeted with is what the anime presents as the arrival of hollows into the human world. With a likely artistic rendition of them forming from the shadows of Hueco Mundo and dripping/bleeding over into the human world like splotches of ink, after which they disappear - unable to be perceived by humans.

A/N: Which, kubos to the anime, is rather neat.

The anime also decided to incorporate the first volume poem which is the thematic beginning and a great establisher of the mood/themes of Bleach, which roughly translates to: 

我らは 姿無きが故に それを畏れ

“We fear that which cannot be seen”

And then they curiously add a line to this poem? 

姿無き故に敬う

”We revere that which cannot be seen"

A/N: Which, initially seems on brand with the spiritualism of that “which is not seen” - the shinigami, DEATH itself if you will. However, unlike the themes of “fear” and “fear of death/the unseen”, “reverence” is not really a theme prevalent or definitive for bleach. Reverence is not particularly reserved for death or death gods, but antagonists with themes of divinity/the Soul King himself, but I digress.

Next off the bully scene has a couple of missing/reworded lines, as well as some of the delivery changed, but overall it’s not significant enough to mention.

I also wish they’d kept Ichigo’s shit yourself scary face from this moment right here, since it really underlines how serious and personally invested Ichigo is in bringing small justice to the souls of the departed, but I can only pray a future remake does include it.

^ I am disappointed in y’all :/

vs.

v Karma delivery, bitch

Then for some reason the next scene is changed significantly:

In the manga, it builds up slowly to Ichigo’s reveal of supernatural abilities with the iconic TM character profile intros (which I can see why weren’t recreated in the anime, but I sure wish they put them in....)

with him spooking the bullies off with the ghost girl right behind him

Versus his scary face doing the job instead.....

It’s a small change, and I can see why it would be opted for - we don’t really know if they even saw the ghost in the first place (then again you could argue that would spook them anyway). There is a tonal difference in the long run though. The manga emphasizes once again *why* ichigo is scolding them in the first place - he sees the people disrespected by them knocking down the vase, he wants them to acknowledge their actions *because* in his mind, there are real victims he knows from it. While in the anime, since the ghost is not yet introduced, it feels more like “you are disrespectful to the dead” in a more generalized way vs. him actually being acquainted with the dead and treating them like the living. 

(Again, not sure why change it so much at all........the suspense and reveal are in the manga just the same.... but ok)

As well as cutting off this small moment where you can see Ichigo’s very human (and cute!) interactions with the ghosts. To him they’re just as real as the living, and he lends them a hand whenever they ask for help.

Also lmfao this 4kids level of censorship.....

It goes on rather faithfully for a while, no significant omissions, then Pierrot decides to randomly replace Yuzu’s lines with Karin??

Manga:

Anime: 

Which is an odd choice, given that not only does Yuzu sense ghosts just fine (albeit at a much lesser level than her family) and that later comes into play with Fishbone & Grandfisher, but Karin literally later admits that she doesn’t even want to acknowledge their presence, so why the change....?

They also cut short Karin’s little talk about Ichigo’s stats, which is a fair change for screentime’s sake, but mentioned for the record.

There’s a bit of a divergence with Yuzu lore, when the manga explicitly states she sees them, but not “clearly”, the anime focuses on her barely sensing them. I guess it doesn’t matter that much in the long run, since she is not that prevalent in the story, but it’s here for the record nonetheless.

Anime: 

vs. 

Manga:A

Also this next bit was removed, probably for the sake of pacing (which, totally fair!!), but it’s funny and I love the Kurosaki family so here it is:

It does make the flow a bit better in the manga, since this talk of selling his talents distracts Ichigo and creates an opening for his father to strike, in the anime, the same is done with Ichigo just randomly saying 

and thats where his father attacks him, which isnt really an issue, just kind of funny of how the manga is like:

Ichigo’s distracted by his sisters plotting to sell him out and hence Isshin has his chance to strike back

vs the anime being like:

Ichigo randomly thinks about dinner mid convo about ghosts and thats what distracts him from play-fighting with his dad 

gfdkhlgfdg okayyyy....moving on 

In the manga this scene is interspliced with Ichigo’s inner monologue about the nature of his powers (with hip jargon like “for real” courtesy of Viz ) 

(but my beef with Viz translations are for another day)

Also the line about “He told me more ghosts than ever have been haunting me” has been given to Karin for some reason, probably to make her feel more included in the scene/Ichigos life.

Notably, Isshin’s response is changed from “What?! He talks about stuff like that with you (Yuzu, singular)” to “What?! He talks about stuff like that with you guys?” as well, again probably to include Karin more into the dialogue. (Mmmm ok....)

Minor detail, but Karin’s lines has been changed to more “boyish” speech structure in the Japanese dub, which may seem insignificant, but ...... that is for later. 

.....

This little exchange

 is replaced with: 

Which, seems innocuous adaptation differences, but Yuzu’s lines keep decreasing and it’s a short enough moment to like....include and establish how motherly Yuzu is acting towards Ichigo.....but ok...huh. 

And now we get into the big boy changes.

So, probably for the sake of grounding the supernatural element of the series, the anime decided to skip time to the next morning and introduce the hollow attacks with a news report.

Which.....is an interesting choice. I am assuming this is addressing how the real world perceives the hollow attacks, which Bleach doesn’t put too much effort into addressing, but very soon after this we learn about stuff like memory replacement and other various technology to keep things under wraps so this is either redundant or implying that shinigamis have not been doing their job, which hm......

Next off is the bizarre choice to paint Isshin out of the picture for the night

Not sure why, but ok

Again, where’s the shinigami with their Kikanshinki (memory replacement devices)??? Pierrot where’s the lore coherence......

Anyway, Ichigo goes to replace the girl’s vase, but suprise-surprise she’s gone-zo. Wonder what happened to her.....

(And....again, people vehemently don’t want a reboot when the anime looks like this? )

So Ichigo hears a scream and a hollow scream and follows the sound (Ok?).

Totally random hollows attack. Which Ichigo somehow has never seen so far? Mind you, this isn’t like in the manga, where Fishbone was sent by Aizen specifically after Ichigo to make him aware of it. These are random-ass hollows attacking people, so how come Ichigo suddenly sees them. Ya coulda played it safe Pierrot, and stuck to the book, but we got plot inconsistencies episode one so let’s party.

The girl is, of course, not eaten and they run away.

She trips at the most inconvenient moment. (can ghosts trip? Ghost don’t even have legs in japanese lore and Kubo draws them floating around so okkkkkkkk)

(ok ok, im just being petty, bUT YKNOW)

(convenient tripping on deadass levelled ground is convenient)

(also God I really want that bag Ichigo’s got on his shoulder, it looks so nice)

Random-ass hollow closes in and 

BOOM

Rukia

(Now, if the rest of Bleach and the manga didn’t exist I would like this moment. We get a glimpse into Rukia’s abilities, into shinigami as a concept and we don’t really get to see her slice and dice hollows that much overall so the moment itself is rad in isolation.

Now, unfortunately for Pierrot’s screenwriters, Bleach manga exists and so does it’s lore, which again, would not be inconsistent with each other if the adapation was faithful. Now, Ichigo sees a shinigami, for some reason, for the first time in his 15 years of life. All of a sudden. 

You could argue, that much like in the manga, this is all part of Aizen’s plan TM, but like, she literally leaves right after leaving Ichigo gaping in awe ghfkjgdf. Why’d Aizen give him an appetizer, I really don’t understand how this change is benefitting the narrative in any way. It’s ....dare I say....generic.)

Rukia yeets the hollow

(why is this kid suddenly not wearing shoes?)

and goes off on her merry way, leaving Ichigo shooketh

ALSO RUKIA MA’AM THERES A FUCKING STRAY GHOST RIGHT AT YOUR RIGHT????? ISNT IT YOUR LIKE....JOB.......... TO HELP GHOSTS MOVE ON??? i know killing hollows is the fun part, but like ghjkfdlgfd ??? are you gonna ignore her???

( his fucking face ghfjdkgdlfgfd)

So after this wholeass pointless detour (you’ll see why it’s pointless in a moment)  we timeskip again (the filler is strong in this one. These 6 minutes were worth not coming up with something cohesive and removing scenes that actually make sense ah yes)

Ichigo is in deep thought TM about who tf is the stranger he’d just seen. Likely mulling over the monsters and how this person was able to slay said monsters. Probably thinking how unusual they are.

and as if on cue

the stranger makes their presence once more

(my God these faces gfhgkldfg)

....

Now let’s briefly address what happens in the manga instead.

Instead of the whole timeskip scene with the fight, Ichigo simply returns to his room on the same day, and oddly enough recognizes the species of the butterfly he sees? (nerdy boi! nerdy!! boi!)

rukia arrives much the same

(With the little text emphasizing how he’d never been aware of soul reapers, which is unsurprising given their secrecy, and makes sense in the long run since their first meeting is specifically orchestrated by Aizen. Two species that werent meant to interact brought together by his schemes.)

Back to the anime:

Ichigo pauses to ponder who tf they are and why the fuck they’re there.

and then the anime has the gall to suddenly revert to sticking to the manga, which like.... Ichigo kicks her for no reason? I guess because she isn’t answering? Even though Ichigo knows she has a sword and can wield it? Reckless boy.

Manga Ichigo thinks she’s a burglar, therefore, unsurprisingly, is comfortable kicking her outta his house. It’s a silly moment, but it also shows how accustomed or stupidly brave he is with the supernatural.

In the anime Ichigo asks her who she is instead of all that, and she responds pretty similarly to the manga

AND THE NEXT SCENE IS WHERE IT CLICKS WHY THEY WENT OUT OF THEIR WAY TO REMOVE ISSHIN FROM THE HOUSE.

(Ichigo and Rukia addressing the pointless filler, this leads nowhere)

Rukia check him out like she’s checking if the oranges on sale dont have mold on them 

slapstick ensues

and Rukia decides to answer his question.

Vs. the manga in which Isshin doesn’t leave his children home alone for some random conference and is actually used very efficient for two reasons:

1) building up on the burglar gag with actually funny slapstick that is based on a previously established joke

2) Instead of Rukia just saying “oh usually people can’t see me”, we get an actual demonstration of it, the reader gets to see “oh Isshin can’t see her - she must be a spiritual entity,” which further clicks with her surprised reaction at him being able to kick her in the first place.

The next scene is the classique Pierrot censorship.

Ghost girl runs away from what I’m assuming is Fishbone.

Aside from not showing her get eaten, the scene is pretty much delivering the same message, 

bUT

BECAUSE OF THE STUPID ASS FILLER WITH THEM MEETING RUKIA BEFORE THIS, I CAN ACCUSE RUKIA OF NEGLIGENCE.

UNLIKE THE MANGA, where Rukia arrives the night before and is specifically seeking Fishbone, therefore having no time to help this girl pass away, 

This vvvvvvv

could have been prevented if SOMEONE DID THEIR FUCKING JOB THE DAY BEFORE VVVVVVV

(I rest my case. Thank you Pierrot for making Rukia either negligent or an idiot. Awesome, And mind you, these changes were unnecessary. The manga’s pacing is fine. They could’ve extended scenes. But nope, had to go for making them meet beforehand.)

Anyway, we get to see some actual stakes in the manga

The next scene which is this in the manga 

has two changes to it. Firstly, obviously Isshin being consoled by Yuzu isn’t included since he isn’t home in the anime, and even if he were, I can see why that would be removed, cute as it may be.

And secondly, due to them having met prior Ichigo asks two additional questions:

And Rukia nods at both, which means she acknowledges that she had seen the girl the hollow was after and yet did nothing to help her pass on. 

(Reminder the Bleach anime was in production WAAAAY past the first 4 volumes, which gave a good general idea of the series, which y’know, was fine to adapt as is.

You’ll see these changes add up into becoming inconsistent with further Bleach lore. There’s a reason people call Bleach a hot mess, and I’m afraid Kubo ain’t really it.)

(Volume 14 Note from Kubo where he talks about the anime being announced)

Back to the series

Pet peeve time: Wish the anime was half as expressive as the manga

These scenes are supposed to represent

This panel:

(Nitpicking? Perhaps, but idc)

So uh, this scene is odd

Again, because of the addition of that filler with the hollow

Ichigo has seen her in action

And they even added Rukia trying to convince him 

even though, yknow???

LITerally the previous day???

Anyway  in the manga, where Ichigo has reason to be distrustful of her and her claims since y’know hes never seen her or a shinigami in action, but has enough proof that she’s a ghost bc his dad didn’t see her, he simply dismisses her before she can reply, and instead of just getting angry for being called a pipsqueak

she shows both Ichigo and the audience proof of her spiritual powers by binding Ichigo and forcing him to quietly listen to her explanations.

(To reiterate - Anime Rukia  has to verbally try to convince Ichigo WHO SAW HER FIGHT A HOLLOW THE OTHER DAY that shes no ordinary ghost. And because of that, she has no other reason to use Sai on him other than that shes mad she was called a pipsqueak bc she just tried to verbally convince him shei is a shinigami. When they could just adapt the manga and have her both demonstrate her powers and put him in his place at the same time. Wild.)

Also CRIMINALLY BORING SHOT, WITH CRIMINALLY BORING RUKIA

#NotMyRukia

LOOK AT THE MANGA

LOOK AT HER SMUGLY OWNING ICHIGO’S IGNORANT ASS #FuckYeahRukia

Also the subs may not show it if you’re watching it on Netflix, but anime Rukia says “I am not allowed to lay my hands on humans outside orders,” which like, you ARE LITERALLY DOING THAT. Manga Rukia is fine with bullying Ichigo, but she draws a line at killing him, but man Anime Rukia, you give no fucks about the laws huh.

why so cheerful?

(also Rukia be right tho)

(specifcally compared to hell you could say Soul society is a resftul place lmfao)

Also anime salary man gets to rest in peace, even like, pray and shit

Meanwhile the manga

YEET TO SOUL SOCIETY

(also notice how we’ve been robbed of ichigo’s silly socks

I swear the anime knows how to suck the soul out of the manga 

Get it? Soul! haha ....moving on.)

Really Rukia? One of your jobs?

GUESS YOU WERE OFF DUTY HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I’M SORRY BUT LIKE, SEE HOW POINTLESS THIS FILLER IS UGH!!!)

(Again pet peeve but look at how ugly this screen is COMPARED TO THE MANGA)

(What have they done to you, queen)

(also they never mention the name Konso ( or as Viz calls it here -”soul funeral”, thanks Viz)

Next on, not a pet peeve, but an observation:

Anime Rukia keeps her sketchbook in her kimono

Manga Rukia keeps it at the titty

Yep, which you neglected to do the day before,

she literally says “With the konso I did just a  moment ago” like she used the word before. Like you can contextually get it, but why cut that line out of the dialogue if you don’t change the next line it’s referenced in?

There’s also a dialogue change from the manga’s well, Viz uses “vaporize” which is not a bad choice given the specific wording Kubo uses, but the original says 

昇華 • 滅却

sublimate/convert • extinguish

which is a clever little nod/foreshadowing to the nature of souls in bleach and that they can be “converted” in and out of a hollowfied state. 

While the anime just says “to slay hollows”, and albeit it lacks the little nod the manga has to offer, I can’t see how they’d include it in the anime at that stage so I’m fine with them simplifying it to like, an exorcism.

A better question then Rukia - WHY DIDN’T YOU SEND OFF HER SOUL????

also WAIT THE GIRL IS STILL ALIVE?? she’s dead-dead by this point in the manga.

BULLSHIT !!!  YOU LITERALLY EXPLAIN LATER WHY!! ACTUALLY YOU EXPLAINED EARLIER WHY!!! YOU LITERALLY SAID THIS, 1 MINUTE AGO :

Anyway, Fishbone almost grants her the priviledge of escaping this God-awful anime, but is suddenly stopped?

AND CAN TALK??

wait WHY DOES FISHBONE TALK?? GHFJD isnt this supposed to be  a juicy reveal for later when Ichigo realizes “hey theyre not actual complete monsters - but used to be humans!” Hm, ok.

Also leaves her alone? Damn ok...

Reminder:

Moooving on...

Speaking of the manga, this little moment is missing:

Since there is no pointless filler that would make him ask about the ghost girl therefore exposing Rukia’s slacking off of her duty, Ichigo realizes that there must be a hollow nearby bc in the manga he actually has braincells to spare. 

Also wiping off the Baron’s moustache moment is gone 😢

Missing and dearly missed is also this moment, which consolidates how protective Ichigo is of his family. He only needs to hear Yuzu scream to click that the hollow is nearby and his family is in danger. I feel like anime Ichigo should be even more worried since his sisters are alone but ok??

Also foreshadows their dynamic of Rukia trying to stop his reckless attempts at pushing himself to protect his family, bc yknow....she has her own Kaien trauma to process.

Next off....

This is .... a choice....

They were very eager to give Yuzu’s lines to Karin just a couple of moments ago but now this whole exchange:

Where we see a very pragmatic yet soft side of Karin

She doesn’t know what is happening, and doesn’t expect her brother to fight it - he just wants him to be safe, because she loves her family. At least warn him before it gets to him and hurts him.

is replaced with this:

Yuzu, sweetie, what do you think he can do to achieve that.

I guess at least Anime Ichigo tries to get Rukia to do her job as she looks down on Yuzu in silence. 

But compare it to the manga:

#MyRukia stops by Karin to check for a pulse and reassures Ichigo that his sister is alive.

Manga Ichigo is NUMBER ONE oniichan in town and doesnt have time to call out to a stranger to save his family - HES BEYOND READY TO GO FIGHT, RECKLESS AS IT IS, EVEN THOUGH HIS OWN FAMILY BEGS HIM TO JUST RUN. because he cant let himself be unable to protect them. He cant live with himself if he doesnt try his darnest to protect them.

*elevator music playing as ichigo tries to get rukia’s attention but she fucks off downstairs, but instead of doing shit he just does the worm on the floor*

which I guess is more realistic for a teenage boy, but Ichigo is literally traumatized by being unable to protect a family member. Y’all think a ghost he’s never seen before is gonna stop him? 

Yooo, pathetic. #NotMyIchigo

[alreadyblondenow]

Changes

Johnny x reader // SMUT, angst, fluff, virgin!reader Summary: Every single part of you changed when you met Johnny. He’s a sweet responsible man who takes care of you even though he’s completely aware that you can take care of yourself. Even so, you let him because he gives you warmth that you can’t give yourself. Word count: 3k Warnings: Virginity loss, swearing, explicit mature themes, virginity kink?, corruption Note: If some words were misplaced, I apologise in advance. Half assed proofread hehe I’ll edit tomorrow im so sleepy. If you read already, Im sending you love. And thanks for putting up with shit hihi

You remember being a good daughter during high school. How you manage to have a high GPA just so you could make your parents proud and go to a nice college.

And when you got in to your dream college, you remember doing everything right during your those four years. Studied harder than ever and almost broke your back from staying up in front of your computer to finish your thesis. It was always about doing the right thing, staying on track, keeping out from trouble, always so sure what to do next after accomplishing the another. Until you met Johnny. It was the first time you felt so dumb and stupidly in love.

“Baby its not even in yet” you were sure that Johnny’s cock was inside already because the stretch hurts. It hurts so bad you can’t breath properly. “It fucking hurts.”

Johnny let out a giggle, kissing your breast while being half inside you, “Baby it supposed to hurt you’re a virgin” he’s clearly enjoying teasing you underneath him and savouring the tightness of your pussy for the first time. “My virgin”  kissing you a little too sweet and soft even though he’s cock is making your eyes teary. He pushes in again slowly with your consent and fucks you slow, then fast when he sees you relaxing already.

“Johnny wait - it really fucking hurts baby” you pant asking for more time. “Okay okay, Im going slow again, sorry. I thought-“ and he fucks you slowly again, kissing your neck and collarbones.

When the pain was gone, Johnny feels good inside you. You let a string of curses, kissing and bitting him almost covering his face with spit. With a steady and deep pace you were slowly getting why people love having sex. “Still hurting?” Johnny already knew the answer but he wanted to hear it from you. “Not anymore? Hmm. My virgin girlfriend?” you hum at the pet name he calls you. What a weird thing to call you, you thought. But you love it.

Drowned by lust and pleasure, you didn’t notice Johnny was picking up his pace. He’s to experienced for a virgin like you. The both of you can only groan and moan from the feeling you give each other. Exchanging kisses and bites to show affection and appreciation.

“Ugh you’re almost there now aren’t you?” Johnny asked in between fucking you faster than before but not enough to wreck you. “Feels good now yeah?” he grabs you legs and puts it closer to your chest for a new angle.

“Baby - You fuck good” you gulp, trying to help yourself speak while he fucks you with the new angle. “Is this what I’m missing for months now?” and theres Johnny’s smirk again

“Im afraid so baby, Im afraid so”

You whine when he slowed down his pace. “Do you mind if I play a bit?” you didn’t gave him an answer but Johnny proceeds anyway. He knew you’re at the edge already and being the experienced one between the two of you, he wants to have fun and make the best out of this moment. Unexpectedly you earned long and hard stripes of lick on your cunt that made you closed your eyes shut and yell at him.

Johnny is so amused seeing you so fucked up for the first time. Without a warning he pushes inside you again and fucks you with the same pace as earlier. He noticed your eyebrows furrow and your lips parted letting out sounds so sweet for him.

“I think I found you sweet spot baby” you couldn’t agree more.

“Am I fucking you good huh? Am I fucking you right?” only gasps and moans comes out from your mouth.

“You have to show me baby. You have to cum” but that’s the problem, you knew you have this weird feeling in your abdomen that you somehow can’t let go off. Finally having the strength to talk back, latching on his arms and moving you head from side to side, “I’m trying to let go baby - fuck give me time” but being the dominant that he says he is, Johnny is losing patience and you don’t know what to do. “Aren’t I fucking you good? Why aren’t you cuming yet huh?”

And just as you though the knotting in your abdomen couldn’t get worse, it did. But this time you knew what you want. “Fuck baby! More” to your surprise, he didn’t fucked you faster but he fucked you harder instead. You didn’t know it will give you the same satisfaction that you were craving for just seconds ago before he delivered hard thrusts. He felt your pussy clench and that’s enough for Johnny to make the both of you cum together.

“There you go. You like it rough huh okay I’ll do better next round” Thrust. Thrust. Thrust. You can feel his hips slapping on your skin and you finally felt that sweet release that he was asking for. You cum before him and he chased his orgasm by fucking you faster, he didn’t know that made you overstimulated. “You’re okay, sshh. You’re okay.”

He removes the condom and helped you come down your high. Massaging everything he can as a form of apology, “sorry for being rough” he kisses your shoulders and you encircled your arms around him.

“I got a boyfriend that can fuck that good?” forcing a smile trying to fight the exhaustion. Johnny blushed by your sudden compliment making his eyes small. When you pull him for a hug, his body is warm and sweaty but he surprisingly still smells good. That day you asked Johnny to keep on fucking you until you learn how to be confident on having sex with him. For you, Johnny was the prefect person to help you say goodbye to your innocence.

Every single part of you changed when you met Johnny. He’s a sweet responsible man who takes care of you even though he’s completely aware that you can take care of yourself. Even so, you let him because he gives you warmth that you can’t give yourself.

He completely changed your uptight personality and introduced you to thrills and excitement. You never felt so alive after giving up that perfect image of you that you try to maintain.

He made you crave for pleasure and lust that he’s willing to give as long as you let him love you unconditionally and you give the same in return. Of course you love Johnny. He taught you that love shouldn’t always be perfect and that it could be a lot more complicated sometimes. Which is true. You always thought love should be perfect and it’s always about marriage and having kids. And you want none of that. For the first time in your life you don’t want to follow the life your parents want you to have.

-

Johnny is balls deep in your pussy, panties to the side and fucking you good on the dinner table. The man couldn’t get his hands off of your perfect figure. The room is full of moans and the sound of the table rocking back and forth from Johnny’s thrusts.

“What if we get married?” Johnny blurted out.

That doesn’t sound right. “Ah!” still catching your breath gasping and wanting more but what you heard made your head dizzy. “Johnny, I need you to get off”

“What- why? What did I do?” you got down from the table grabbing your satin shorts on the floor, wearing it again. You see Johnny putting his cock back in his boxer briefs and putting his pants on. “Is it because of what I just said? Im sorry I didn’t mean to. Lets just forget about it okay?”

“The fact that you already considered it Johnny... you will continuously think about it then someday you’re going to ask me again and again” you crossed your arms and sat across the table.

“What?” he scoffed.  “Didn’t you think that someday we will get married? Didn’t that crossed your mind! Isn’t that the goal? Isn’t that our goal!”

“Don’t shout. And no. Thats the last thing that I want. And see, thats what Ive been saying. Once you thought about the M word, you will never stop thinking about it ever again” there was a few minutes of silence, you knew you’re gonna tear up the moment you talk again. But he has to hear your part, he has the right to know what you want.

“Getting... “ your voice already cracked. “Having kids, settling down all of it. You don’t know how those things work Johnny, they’re suffocating. The weight of the responsibilities is unbearable”

“So you’re saying a life with me is something bad that will change your life completely” he wanted you to look at him but you can’t,  “So what? Were just gonna fuck like teenagers until were 40? You sound like you’re going to leave me one day.”

“I  don’t know. Its just… its not me Johnny”

“Or maybe you just don’t love me enough y/n” he pushed his hair back leaning on the table and staring you down with cold eyes, “clearly were not on the same page anymore.”

“Thats not true”

He doesn’t say a word. He gets his jacket and kissed you on your cheeks. You can’t watch him leave because it will hurt you so much. But when you heard your door close gently, suddenly you felt so weak and cold.  

The next day you asked him to go grab breakfast with you before you two go to work. Not knowing how to fix this, you still tried to reach up to him. Maybe you just got lucky that he didn’t want to pry on what happened yesterday and everything seemed fine during breakfast. From there on Johnny stopped talking about what he wants to happen in the future. Not bringing up the M word again, he’s not asking you random baby names anymore, no more IKEA window shopping for your future shared apartment. And quite frankly you miss it. Without Johnny being hopeful like that, your relationship seems dull.

You try to bring the old him back by asking him to go IKEA shopping with you. He agreed but he was quiet the whole time. He just talks whenever you asked him something.

You caught him looking at this couple who was checking furnitures together, his eyes full of envy and you can see right through him.

When you got home, you placed the bags on top of the table and went straight to the bathroom to cry. Constantly blaming yourself for not wanting the same thing as Johnny wants and for ruining the relationship you have. You grabbed a towel from the basket and you bit it to filter your screams. If you thought he didn’t hear any of your sobs and screams, you’re wrong. He’s waiting for you on the other side of the door crying his eyes out too.

Knowing that he’s outside waiting for you, you tried forming your words and forcing yourself to speak. “B-baby, I just cant provide the things you want in life anymore. You’re hurt, Im hurt. And we cant fix it because we don’t want the same things anymore. I can’t force myself to marry you and have kids when I don’t want to. And You don’t have to stop wanting and dreaming to have a family just because I don’t want to. Johnny, I think this is where it ends” You told him he could leave you and there will be no hard feelings. The breakup was somehow peaceful, no screaming and yelling like what you thought it would be. Maybe you just love each other that much but it’s still not enough.

After breaking up with Johnny, you went back home and help your sister plan her wedding. Although the two of you has very different views when it comes to marriage, you loved seeing your sister happy and excited to be married. During the wedding your sister shared the news that she’s already seven weeks pregnant and you couldn’t be more happier and the day became even more eventful because of the little angel. That day, you saw your sister’s husband tear up while she was walking down the aisle. That day, you heard your sister’s husband shout “I’m going to be a father!” You can’t help but think about how happy Johnny must be if he become someone’s husband and how happy he could be when he finally become a father.

After months and months of waiting, you finally met the little angel. An angel that changed your life. You don’t know what happened to you but meeting the little angel changed your perception in life. Yours sister’s baby was a miracle to many people, you included. Seeing how happy your sister and her husband with the baby made you realise that bringing life into this world can give you genuine happiness. You loved your niece unconditionally, showered him with every love you could possibly give and turns out you’re good with kids.

Another wedding is bound to happen, a little rushed and unplanned but you do know the couple loved each other. You knew you could possibly ran into Johnny during the wedding and you did. He looked fine as always, almost made every bridesmaid craving for him.

“All right! calling all the single ladies, it’s time for bride to throw her bouquet”

You were sure you’re sitting far from the bride not bothering to even get up and participate. You were also sure that you will never going to catch it even if you made an effort. But somehow you wanted it to come to you, near enough and catch it with both arms for Johnny. And it did. It landed on your lap. You scoffed looking at the beautiful flowers, smelling it to make it less awkward.

When the party started, everyone was almost drunk enough to care whose wedding it is. Laughter and giggles everywhere. You were alone, enjoying a whole bottle of champagne all by yourself.

“Mind if you tell who’s the lucky guy?” not turning your head back to look, that voice is familiar enough for you to know who it is.

“So happy to see you here Johnny” instead of giving him a hug you gave him a toast. Looking at each other’s fingers. Johnny checks your finger for any sign of an engagement ring and you checking his fingers for a wedding ring.

None. You answered his question to make the situation less awkward, “Just got lucky” you let out a small giggle. “The bride pretty much threw it far. And it just so happens that I’m sitting far enough for it to land on my lap” you both laughed, happy that you’re able to see each other again. Happy to have the chance to see each other’s eyes again without tears in it.

“How about you? Who’s the lucky girl?” Johnny laughs and downed the remaining alcohol from his glass.  

“Still you”

You didn’t expect him to be straightforward but you’re happy about it. That night Johnny brought you to his new apartment and you had sex on his couch, on his bedroom floor and on his bed. The next morning you were welcomed back to Johnny’s life again with all smiles, kisses and a lot of orgasms he almost ran out of condoms.

For the past couple of months you and Johnny were busy catching up with all the years you spent apart and slowly building a more established relationship. Your life couldn’t be more happier.

“Baby Im home. And Im tired” you heard him drop his keys at the table near the door, of course he made his way to the kitchen first. Feeling his arms encircled around your waist, “I’m almost done with making dinner” you gave him a kiss and he made his way to the living room. Then you heard him shout, you slowly put down the hot pot and hurried yourself to Johnny.

“Oh my gosh! Who are you?” Johnny is pointing at your sister’s baby crawling around in the living room, playing with his toys.

“Gosh you scared me. T-thats my sister’s baby. I need to babysit tonight hope you don’t mind”

“Oh! I don’t mind… Come here you little ball of sunshine, lets play” and Johnny came crawling around the living room trying to catch the energetic baby. You giggle at the sight of Johnny crawling around. He’s so tall and big.

“Johnny, I thought you’re tired…”

“Nope. Not anymore”

When you’re both in bed with the baby in between the two of you, Johnny cant stop looking after the kid, humming lullabies and patting his small legs making him sleep deeper.  

“Johnny a lot of things changed when we were apart. I started to love kids and actually looking forward on having one someday” you looked at him,  “or some…” you whispered carefully not to wake the sleeping angel. He chuckled lightly, pushing his hair back “I know” he whispered back. He pats his side of the bed, gesturing you to lay beside him. He puts a pillow next to the sleeping kid so he can still roll around the bed safely.

Johnny pulled you close to him, hovering his leg on yours. He feels warm as always. “For how long?” you asked out of curiosity. “since we got back together. You constantly talk about having our own house someday whenever we watch lifestyle network. And, you constantly ask me to fuck you raw” You were both trying not to laugh so hard cover each others mouths. Before you two close your eyes, Johnny told you he liked the idea of the two of you whispering “Whispering is good. Can’t wait to have more whispering moments with you.”

The next day your sister came in really early, Johnny was still sleeping. You told her how he took care of the baby and that he was the one who babysit the whole night playing and taking care of him. “tell Johnny I said thank you. And please, make your own baby” you can’t believe your sister just told you to have your own baby already. “Okay okay. Get out already before you wake him up. I love you, drive safe”

When you came back to the bed with Johnny, he kissed you good morning completely aware that the baby is already with your sister. “I’m gonna miss the little guy” eyes still closed he’s still whispering so you played along. “Well, we can always make our own little guy” and that woke Johnny up hovering you and showering you with wet kisses. He’s so heavy but you’d rather let him crush you than being away from him again.

“Just so you know I want three kids. Two boys one girl” he says with a big smile while drawing circles around your tummy. “You do realise thats three different educations…” he chuckled and showered your exposed tummy with kisses making you tickle and whine.

“I  know, thats why were gonna save like crazy before having them” he finally kissed you on the lips.

“I like that plan Johnny Seo you sound even more sexier. Lets be sure everything is fine and settled when they enter this world”

“And completely change our lives” he can’t stop rubbing your tummy, “I love how we’re compromising now. I never want to yell at you ever again. Not now, not ever. Definitely not in front our children”

You catch his hand and interlock your fingers with his, “I never want that to happen too baby” Johnny came closer to you, kissing you deeply. “Baby why are we whispering?”

you feel his hands creep inside your shorts, teasing your clothed clit and you let out a soft moan, biting his lips. “I don’t know... practicing to be quiet maybe?” He chuckles in between kisses.

“You going to marry me now?”

“Yes Johnny, I will”

................................................. Masterlist

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