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0dde11eth · 20 days

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Geralt: Oh roach, I screwed up my friendship with jaskier, I sent him away. Why do I ruin everything I touch?

Roach: You self sabatoge because it allows you to predict the outcome of events. It gives you a false illusion of control over your destiny. Furthermore you are afraid that allowing the colorful foal to love you will make you happy and you don't know how to handle that because you are so emotionally constipated that youre a literal shit head

Geralt: 0.0

Roach: I mean... *neigh*

#my nonsense #geralt #geraskier #jaskier vs roach #roach the horse #horse girl geralt #post mountain breakup

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podcastenthusiast · 1 year

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My personal rating of jobs I've seen Geralt have in modern AU fics:

Military: 3/10 - I get it in the sense that his work is his life and he's Seen Some Shit, but I just can't picture Geralt taking orders consistently enough.

MMA Fighter/Wrestler: 5/10 - It's got the violence! I could see it. I enjoyed the fistfighting quests in the game. Just not my favorite tho.

Bodyguard: 7/10 (10/10 if he's protecting Jaskier) - He is a big tough-looking boy! Likes to keep people safe. But I think he would get bored long-term.

Personal Trainer: 7/10 - A solid choice. We know he's qualified.

Regular Office Guy: 2/10 - Very funny to imagine but I don't think he'd actually make it past the interview.

Mechanic: 6/10 - I could kinda see it if you think of a car as like a modern horse.

Criminal/Gangster: 3/10 - Admittedly I haven't read one of these but I have trouble imagining it.

Lawyer: 8/10 - Saw this once or twice and honestly I'm here for it. Geralt is a huge nerd with a strong sense of justice.

Animal Control Guy: 9/10 - I picture this like that quest in W3 where Geralt had to save that goat except it's his entire job.

Trucker: 10/10 - God tier. Got the traveling, the isolation, the way the job gets in your bones. Perfection.

Anything With Horses: 10/10 - Yes! Geralt is absolutely a horse girl in every universe.

Still A Witcher Somehow: 10/10 - Love these fics with my whole heart. Geralt probably living in his car, wandering the city with a sword and protecting people (like Jaskier) from monsters nobody knows about/believes in? Fuck yeah.

#i'll add more if i find them #the witcher #geralt of rivia #the witcher netflix #witcher 3 wild hunt #geraskier #if you know any i missed send them my way #just saw a fireman one. 8/10 fits him well #horse girl geralt

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slumberingcorpse · 1 year

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Jaskier: “So what kind of music do you like to listen to?”

Geralt: Death Metal.

Geralt’s real music taste:

#the witcher #the witcher fandom #witcher geralt #geralt of rivia #jaskier x geralt #jaskier #incorrect witcher quotes #horse girl geralt

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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 2 years

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Jaskier sending Geralt a picture of pretty horses to try and cheer him up/distract him from a bad day and then coming home to a sobbing sputtering mess bc the spiral went from ‘im a disaster’ to ‘i miss my fucking horses’ and all Ciri’s stuffed horses are in a little circle around him where he sits on the floor and Jask cant decide if hes more disturbed by the idea that their 8 y/o daughter put all the toys around him before she went to her mom’s for the weekend or Geralt arranging them like he was trying to summon Roach.

#the witcher headcanon #the witcher shitpost #horse girl geralt #geralt #jaskier #ciri #modern au #the witcher modern au #dont look too closely there

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captainsy-cookiemonster · 1 year

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soooo... idk what’s up with this but it made me think of someone... 👀

#geralt of rivia #geralt of rivia shitpost #geralt of rivia shit post #the witcher #the witcher shit post #the witcher shitpost #geralt the horse girl #horse girl geralt

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luthoniel · 10 months

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Wind’s howling (background referenced by @arnaerr)

#the witcher #the witcher 3 #witcher fanart #witcher 3 #horse girl geralt #geralt #geralt of rivia #roach #acrylic painting #painting #acrylic art #my art #fan art

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spilledbutter · 1 year

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geralt of rivia, to a horse: "you're not my usual type... but you'll do."

#asi rambles #twn #the witcher netflix #witcher #the witcher #wiedzmin #voleth meir #geralt #geralt of rivia #horse girl geralt #strikes again

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0dde11eth · 3 months

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Geralt: I do all the riding when it comes to horses!

Also geralt: I refuse to ride the bard! He has to be on top! I am the princess!

#my nonsense #jaskier #geralt #geraskier #top jaskier #dom jaskier #bottom geralt rights #bottom geralt #geralt is a pillow princess #pillow princess geralt #roach the horse #horse girl geralt #jaskier vs roach

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podcastenthusiast · 2 years

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Three little drabbles featuring Geralt "Horse Girl" of Rivia and different animals, from Jaskier's POV.

---

1. Horse

Jaskier realized it a few weeks into this new witcher-following, song-composing venture. Specifically, when he went to eat the last apple and was told in no uncertain terms that it's for Roach, even though their food rations were running worringly low and they were a day's ride from the next village. Even though he's a fragile human. Even though she could literally just eat grass.

The mare outranked him. She had seniority.

He tried to befriend the horse, with middling success.

He tried to befriend the witcher, too.

At least Roach could be bribed with a carrot or a handful of raisins.

People project a lot of their own feelings onto animals, he supposed. It's a relationship designed to be unequal. As complex or as simple as a person wants it to be.

For a while, he had started to resent her a little, as pathetic as that may sound. That is, until he woke in the middle of the night and overheard a murmured, rather one-sided conversation.

"I worry about him, though," Geralt was saying. "Can't exactly just find a new bard and start calling him Jaskier if something happens, can I."

What?

"Wish he'd shut up sometimes, but... I guess it's been kind of nice having someone around who talks back."

Jaskier's heart felt like it might burst or break. Or both.

"Not that you aren't good company, old girl."

Roach gave a quiet snort.

That was all years ago, now. The horse is different, but still somehow Roach.

He is different, too, but somehow still Jaskier. Still the reliable bard his friend needs him to be.

Now, he watches from his spot by the campfire as Geralt brushes through Roach's mane. The witcher's got drowner brains in his own hair but gods forbid he has a wash before his trusty companion is completely tended to. He's very gentle with her, which is probably why she tolerates it as well as she does. He's heard tales of stablehands losing fingers to routine grooming before.

Jaskier wishes he could write a ballad about this without potentially damaging his fearsome reputation-- the unbreakable bond between a witcher and his horse. The unexpected tenderness of hands made to kill.

He reaches for his quill to jot down a few ideas. Something something the mighty wolf and the wild horse, loyal and brave companions defending their forest home together. Keep it vague enough. Maybe a folktale vibe.

Besides, Jaskier thinks with a touch of bitterness, the wolf's tongue is the real danger. His jaws that snap at anyone foolish enough to get too close, to offer help when he's caught in a trap.

...Maybe he still has some feelings to work through.

The wolf also has a heart he tries so hard to bury. Jaskier can see it. Always has.

"You spoil her rotten, you know," he remarks lightly, plucking on his lute strings. "She eats better than we do."

"It's like sharpening my swords. I have to keep Roach in good condition, or we don't eat at all."

"Mhm. And it's very sweet."

He no longer begrudges Roach her well-earned place at Geralt's side. The witcher had been alone out here for such a long time before he came along, probably will be again after he's dead and buried. Even if Jaskier does wish that he could be the one Geralt trusts with his innermost thoughts and secrets and sleepless night fears, he is glad the man has someone in whom he can confide.

They all have their roles in this story. Perhaps he ought to accept his as its scribe, and let that be enough.

But Jaskier's greatest fault, he knows, is an always has been his refusal to accept things as they are.

2. Cat

"Oh, look at that. Someone's cat has gone missing. Poor thing."

"We're here for real work, Jaskier," Geralt says, scanning a contract notice. Recent plague. Graves disturbed. Ghouls. See alderman for details. Bit dull.

"They're offering a reward. See?"

"Somehow I doubt a small child has enough coin to justify ignoring the ghouls."

"Says here you'll get their eternal gratitude and-- oh! The lady of the house will darn your socks free of charge for a full year. Any additional mending at a discount. Now that's a good deal."

"Hm."

"Geralt, as you know my favorite doublet is in a sorry state after that minor werewolf incident--"

"I told you to stay with Roach."

"--All water under the bridge now, of course, and what an adventure! Worthy of a fine ballad--"

"Jaskier."

"--as this would be. Can't you at least keep one keen witchery eye out for the cat?"

"And risk a ghoul catching me off guard? Sure."

"Well, now you're just being silly. Don't tell me you're a dog person. Or are you allergic?"

Geralt sighs, realizing now that only the truth will free him from this conversation.

"Don't mind cats," he mutters. "But they don't like me."

"Sorry, what?"

"Cats don't like me," he repeats. "They start hissing whenever I get too close."

Jaskier's expression is caught somewhere between disbelief and sadness. "Why?"

"I insulted their king. Why do you think? They've got more sense than certain humans, I guess."

It's a veiled remark. Jaskier sees right through it.

"You're not a monster, Geralt," he says, achingly sincere. Then, in a lighter tone, "Does that mean you've never pet a cat before?"

"I don't know. Maybe when I was very young. I can't remember."

Jaskier mercifully drops the subject after a quiet and thoughtful walk back to the village's tavern.

He doesn't fail to notice Geralt buying extra scraps of meat from the innkeeper, or how he sneaks away at night to set them like snares in promising locations near the village. He'd probably say it's for the ghoul contract if asked, but Jaskier knows better.

Even if he didn't, there is really no other explanation for Geralt returning to the inn on the second night, covered in claw marks, carrying a ghoul's severed head in one hand and a bag containing one squirming, hissing feline in the other.

3. Spider

"GERALT!"

Every witcher in Kaer Morhen hears the bard's scream, but Geralt reaches the room in moments, his silver sword already drawn.

"Jaskier, what--"

"Kill it!"

The bard is standing on his bed, pointing frantically at something. Geralt follows his panicked gaze and sees--

"Really, Jaskier?" He sighs.

"What are you waiting for? It's a monster! Kill it!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's not a monster. Just a spider. Not even poisonous."

"How do you know?"

"I read." Geralt crouches down for a closer look at the spider. "Might look scary but it's harmless. Probably sought shelter from the cold."

"Well, then it can go right back outside."

"Jaskier, be reasonable."

"I am. Either the spider goes or I do."

The witcher looks thoughtful. Says nothing.

"Oh, thanks, Geralt! I feel so loved."

The spider crawls onto Geralt's hand and Jaskier almost screams again, shrinking back even farther. Gods, it has so many legs!

"Pretend it's a kikimora or something," he pleads. "Why won't you kill one little spider for your very dearest old friend in the world?"

"Because kikimoras have no niche. They're invasive, and need to be dealt with to maintain balance in the ecosystem. Spiders aren't like that; they do belong. A monster, fundamentally, is any creature that doesn't."

Jaskier just stares at him, speechless. He's not sure he has ever heard Geralt say that many words all at once.

Geralt's eyes remain on the spider. "Witchers aren't sent out on the Path not knowing why we kill; we're not soldiers."

"I never thought of it like that," Jaskier admits. "That spider's still fucking terrifying, though."

"Hm. I'll take it outside."

"Geralt?"

"Hm?"

"I know what scared, stupid people say about witchers sometimes. But I-- You do belong. You're important. Just want you to know that."

"...Thank you, Jaskier," he says. Then, quieter, "You too."

#the witcher netflix #the witcher #witcher fanfiction #geraskier fic #geraskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #witcher fic #I'm sad i can't pet cats in witcher 3 okay #horse girl geralt

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dapandapod · 2 years

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Writing horses - a loveletter

Something I have noticed while writing is just how very much googling one has to do. Especially when writing something you are not very familiar with. Animals in particular can be very tricky, and in our witcher fandom we have a darling horse as a very important character. Where Geralt goes, Roach goes.

As a horse girl myself I have a lot to stand on already (though language sometimes fail me, as I am not a native English speaker) while writing horse girl Geralt, (My Beloved), but not everybody has had the opportunity to spend time with a horse more than maybe a happy(or terrible, if you met a pony) memory.

Here are some easy things to help you write behavior, sounds, habits or needs. Just generally horse things. This is not perfect, nor complete, there is a lot of ground to cover, but this is an attempt to give writers the tools to write a horse. :)

I won’t mention gear, colors, gates etc, and attempt to give you tidbits of what google hides.

I’d like to point out, they are all individuals, and like humans have very different views on the world. Some are very dominant, some are very dramatic, some are very calm and trusting, some have a wicked sense of humor.

If you have seldom or possibly not met a horse at all but have other pets, it is easier to compare them to cats and dogs.

General behavior/body language can be more cat-like, elegant, spooking for nothing, independent, flicking tail when annoyed, and some of them can - like cats - be really picky about the people around them.

Social behavior is closer to dogs. Their chosen person/s or herd are very important to them, they can be very loyal, trusting and protective of them. Playful behavior can be nudges with their nose, whinnying when they see you, or what I call ‘lipping’ after you. Basically using their lips for either attention, begging for sweets, or just being playful.

A saying I have heard in the horse world is; A gelding you tell. A Stallion you ask. A mare, you send three different copies to her secretary, and she will get back to you in 2-3 work weeks. Sums up their personalities pretty good.

Horses are just funky family members,

Horse behaviour:

-In General, horses are quiet animals. Making too much sound can attract predators.

They knicker/whinny when they they are about to get food (and you are aaalways to slow), when they flirt or when they see another horse, or a rare shrill whine (iiiih!) while protesting. Of course, that is also an individual thing, some horses are really talkative while others are very silent. (Mine does old man grunts every time he starts trotting or while pooping… Hard work that.)

-Horses read your body language and react to it, even if you are in the saddle. Again, this is a training/personality/bonding thing, but a rider that is tense or stressed will have a tense and stressed horse. If you are calm when things are scary, the horse is more likely to be calmer in a stressed or dangerous situation.

-In comparison, when a horse is relaxed, their ears can point “outwards”, lowering slightly, rest one hind leg by cocking it, neck lowering. There are a lot of small little signs too, but that is how in depth you want to go. That also means they can read strangers, and decide that they do not like them.

-Horses can walk for a long time, yes, but gallop/canter for hours takes a lot out of them. Think of the last time you wore a really heavy backpack when you were out walking, and how tiring that can be.

If you have played The Witcher 3, you might recognize the horse’s fear-bar rising when getting closer to something dangerous, and her reaction when it fills. If she is terrified, she can either start running away from the danger, or attempt to buck you off. In this case, Geralt has Axii to rely on, but the rest of us mortals have to rely on the bond with our horses, the trust between us.

Some horses are trained to be brave, or even defend.

Think of police horses or war horses. They go where the rider says, because of their bond and because they trust that their rider will keep them safe. In turn, a horse can feel protective over you, and sometimes that is trained into them.

Think of war horses in this instance, who will trample enemies, use their front legs when they rear up on their hind legs, wave them around, or their hind legs to kick - hard.

This usually takes training or some really strong loyalty, as their first instinct is usually to flee.

Fun things horses can do:

-Horses can be ticklish, mostly around their stomachs.

-When they burst into gallop suddenly and/or kick with their hind legs, they very often fart at the same time. (usually this is a happy thing)

-When a horse is nervous, they poop. Gotta lighten the load in case they need to run, you know.

-Oh, and horses love to smell other horses poop. It’s very important to see who was there before them.

-Horses sometimes play with objects in their enclosure like dogs do, sometimes by throwing it around, shaking their head up and down, sometimes letting it go and see it sail to the other side of their enclosure, just to go fetch it and start all over again.

-They’re smart as hell, you can teach them to play games like ‘which hand has the treat’

-They will do weird things with their lips and head when you find that *one* spot they really want scratched, and attempt to scratch back at you with their lip, or just the air because you are too far away.

-Some horses when they are bored, they make things happen. Or overreacts, because that is fun. Oh my ACTUAL god is that a rock?!?! Freakout imminent.

-Horses can be mischievous. They know they are not allowed and will either sneak to get their will done, or stare you down as they do it. It could be sniffing/shaking a bag, using their leg to kick over a water bucket.

Less fun things horses can do:

-If the horse is distracted, untrained or doesn't know you very well, sometimes they forget humans have feet too, and might stand on them.

-They are deserving of all the grass. All of it. Now. Will not listen to nudges, kicking, pulling or otherwise. Grass is always more important

-When recently bathed, or just brushed down, there is nothing better than to roll in the grass. Or dirt. Or mud. Anything sticky they can find, really.

-Depending on horse personality, everything can be a potential danger. Sometimes it can be wells, sometimes hanging laundry, sudden burst of bird from a field, or even just waving your own hat to fan yourself in the heat.

(Though, mind, a horse that is on the road a lot like Roach might not care overly much unless she is feeling real dramatic that day or there is a real threat)

-If fleeing from possible danger, they can make a really sharp turn, spin on the spot or jump sideways/backwards. A really good way for you to meet the ground if you are not very steady in the saddle, being prepared for it doesn’t always help!

-Some horses are really bothered by insects and will constantly flick their tail, shake, or even try to reach the insect biting them with hoof or teeth until relieved

Caring for the horse:

-Horses eat a lot. It can be wheat/oats if you want Geralt to bring food for her, and grass. At a farm, horses will eat a lot of hay mostly, and many of them sleep in straw.

-Sleeping is important for horses, and since they are prey animals, that can be a tricky business. When with other horses, there is usually at least one standing up, standing guard as the others sleep lying down. If inside, or feeling safe enough (or being tired enough) they mostly sleep lying down. But not for too long. The downside of weighing around 500kg is that your body can’t lay down for too long, it can be really dangerous even. Another reason why they can lock their legs while standing up to sleep.

-Much of the time, you can think of a horse as an athlete. They carry heavy stuff, they can get stiff and sore, and they need to train to get strong and get good stamina. If you want them to perform very well, like racing, working on the farm, carrying heavy things for you like stinky griffin heads, they need maintenance and training. Think Athlete.

-When the horses are done for the day, or taking a break, you want to loosen the saddle girth, or take off the saddle entirely. Think of it as tossing off your bra at the end of a long day!

-Brushing is important! It cleans out the coat, reducing the risk of chafing and helping with blood circulation. It is also a bonding moment, and a good time to notice if the horse have gotten hurt anywhere.

-A common hurt for horses that go fast is stepping on the backside of their own hoof, or a branch or even their own legs hitting the inside of the legs on the area that is called cannon.

If you want to embellish your horse writing, here are some fun, personality building things you can use:

-Some horses are really mindful of their space. They don’t like other horses too close and will try to make them to back the fuck off with either teeth or a small kick.

-A very dominant horse, meaning someone who might be a leader of the herd, might be harder to read if they are ill, or challenge your decisions, doing the exact opposite of what you are asking, if moving at all.

-If a mare is in heat, she can be oh so peevish. If you nudge her with your heel, she can attempt to kick back, make that shrill sounds or even try to buck you off. They also pee a lot while in heat, like dogs do. (Heats can be compared to pms if you are familiar, uncomfortable, making you moody and sometimes ouchy, but again, individual.)

-Also some ‘smile’ by flipping their top lip up and showing their teeth - sometimes they do it bc they smell something funky but sometimes they just do it to be cute

There are so many things to add here, and there is no way to make justice years of time spent with and around horses. Every breed is a little different, every personality its own. The bond between a human and their horse can be very special and hard to explain, but oh so very precious. Sometimes they are a work friend and sometimes family, sometimes both.

Just enjoy your writing, and I hope this was helpful to make you more comfortable in writing horses. <3

(oh, and feel free to ask questions if there is something you are wondering!)

#writing horses #horses #writing advice #the witcher #witcher fanfiction #character study #ish #horses are often characters in witcher #feel free to ask things #this is supposed to be a starting point #something to stand on #hope it helps #<3 #dapanda writes #horse girl geralt

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witchergeraskier · 2 years

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Random hc

The Witcher’s replacing roach whenever he dies without Geralt noticing

Geralt genuinely thinks that the horse he travels with is the same one that he first got all because Vesemir didn’t want to break baby horsegirl Geralts heart

Geralt has no clue how horses live for and so doesn’t even know to be concerned about how roach is still alive

The other wolves compete on who sneak replaces roach the best

Escalating to them just trying to see how oblivious Geralt is

Eskel tried using a deer once

Geralt didnt notice until he tried climbing on

When he realized the deer wasn’t roach he assumed roach was stolen

The next person geralt saw riding a horse was definitely threatened and left without a horse

Lambert definitely painted a donkey because he didn’t have time to get a actual horse

Luckily Geralt didn’t travel much during the 2 days it took Lambert to find a replacement

#witcher eskel #the witcher #witcher geralt #geralt of rivia #vesemir #Lambert #eskel #wolf witchers #crack #horsegirl geralt #oblivious geralt #horse girl geralt #roach #roach the horse

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witchertits · 1 year