#there's not a way to get the feeling later on without laying the foundation

[elucubrare]

i firmly hold that it's my duty as a reader to believe it when an author tells me at the beginning of the series that the dragons are gone forever and never coming back. but god it's a struggle sometimes.

#that is: i don't think it's fair to hold that kind of genre knowledge against a specific instance of it #not even because while i've read hundreds of bad fantasy novels someone else might not have read any #but because hm. 'the dragons are gone' is the foundation of a kind of feeling - discovery; renewal; awakening - #there's not a way to get the feeling later on without laying the foundation #so even if the foundation feels like busywork for me the reader #it has to be there in some form or other

[yelenassafeplace]

| The sex tape

Again sorry for my bad English, I’m French and still have a lot to learn. Anyway please do not translate or re upload this oneshot. Thank you.

pairing: porncontentcreator!Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Author's note: really fucking poorly written scenario bcs I was lazy and just wanted to write about Spencer being a porn content creator. Just filthy smut in general, sorry for your eyes.

Warnings: porn content related, sex tape, camera involved, unprotected p in v, clit stimulation, creampie, gf and bf dynamic, unprotected sex, no use of y/n, praise kink, Spencer talks you through it (slightly), tell me if I should add more warnings.

You knew what Spencer did in addition to his job in the FBI. He had told you everything before you got in a relationship with him because he didn’t want to have any secrets between the two of you. And you were grateful for that.

You were the only one who knew though, and nobody suspected anything. But it wasn’t really surprising. How would they even think of the shy and awkward Spencer Reid being a porn content creator?

It was…unthinkable.

You had talked about it a lot. You had asked him if it was for the money and he had awkwardly explained to you that it wasn’t, that he got off to being recorded and the thought that people would watch and compliment him.

He never interacted with the viewers tho. He read comments, yes, but it wasn’t really his thing to get into this type of relations. He only recorded, posted, got an ego boost from the comments and that’s it.

To be honest it doesn’t bother you, you even enjoy it as you now often find yourself masturbating to his videos when he’s away for work because of a new case.

He never shows his face, for obvious reasons, and only films his hands, legs and cock. And it’s perfection.

The first time you had looked up for his account on pornhub, you had just gotten back home from a date with him. You two had never did more than preliminaries because he was trying to hold himself back. He didn’t want to move too fast and mess it all up, he was a gentleman after all.

But this night, oh boy, you had came so many times to his videos while stuffing yourself with your dildo that you had literally sent him texts where you begged him to come over and fuck you.

You didn’t know what was going on with you to act this desperate but this man was doing something to you without even being in your apartment. But he got the message and came right over to do what you had both waited for so long.

Fast forward to 7 months later of a healthy relationship and really good sex, you were now completely comfortable with each other and didn’t hesitate to ask to try new things in the bedroom. And most of the time things went as smooth as butter.

And this time, he has a bold request. A sex tape.

He somehow managed to convince you to try and record yourselves having sex. You were reticent at first, not really feeling comfortable with having a video of you being intimate together and post it. But curiosity got the best of you. You wanted to know how he felt like when he was recording himself and see how your bodies moved together when you were being intimate. So you agreed.

Of course, you will still not be going to show your faces. It’s a little tricky since you have a lot of tattoos but foundation and setting powder did an actually good job so everything is good.

But now that you are laying completely bare on his bed, your legs opened wide enough for him to fit between them and his hands making their way up and down your thighs slowly to warm you up while a cam recorder was rolling and capturing the moment; it feels all too real.

You can’t help but get distracted every time your eyes land on the camera, resulting with your body cooling down slightly again.

He kissed down your jaw to your neck to help you relax.

"Relax, baby."

His warm breath tickled your neck as he whispered in your ear, your body melting at his voice.

"Focus on me."

You sigh and nod, closing your eyes and trying to enjoy his touch and kisses.

Soon enough, your lewd moans and whines of pleasure fills the room as one of his hands rests on your right breast, the pad of his index gently brushing against your nipple while his cock slides through your folds with every movement of his hips, the tip catching on your sensitive clit.

"That’s it…There’s my pretty girl."

Before you can even moan out at his praise, his lips press against yours for the sweetest kiss ever. And even tho the camera doesn’t catch it because of the angle to preserve your identities, the love and longing can be felt in the atmosphere.

"You’re so wet…"

He lets out a hum, grabbing his cock and pumping it a few times before prodding against your hole and pushing himself inside. You let out a little gasp and whine at his size, feeling a slight burning sensation from the stretch, but only for a few seconds before you get used to him.

"Spe…"

You catch yourself before saying his real name, almost having forgotten the camera and being too used to moan and scream out his name while you fuck.

"Baby…"

You whine pathetically as he starts to thrust slowly and deep, a hand wrapping around your throat.

"Yeah? What is it, Candy?”

He looks down at you with dark and lust filled eyes, a little smirk playing on his lips while he uses the nickname he decided to give you for this occasion. He couldn’t believe how easily you became cock drunk for him.

"Y-You’re so deep…"

“Yeah, I know baby. You take me so well."

You moan at the praise and close your eyes when he picks up the pace.

"Oh look at that…"

He mumbles with a wide smile before tightening his grip on your throat slightly and tilts your head towards his camera, the screen turned in your direction so you can watch yourselves. You look at the screen with half lidded eyes as he thrusts faster into you, making you forget the awkwardness and shame you felt just a moment ago.

A loud moan escape your lips as he reaches your sensitive spot and keeps ramming into it, watching as your boobs bounce up and down and how the impact of his thighs against your ass makes it jiggle slightly with every harsh thrust.

"S’good…I’m close.."

You whine out and cry out as you hide your face against his neck after he releases your throat.

"I can feel it honey.."

He grunts out and grabs your thighs, his fingers digging into your flesh and his grip tightening as he pushes your thighs up and against your chest to fuck you from a new angle. He moans as you flutter around him and reaches down to rub your clit, knowing that you were nearing the edge.

You come a few seconds later, holding onto him tightly and scratching his back with your nails as your body shakes and tenses up through your orgasm. He continues to rub your clit and pound you, only coming when he manages to make you squirt all over his cock and the bedsheets. He moans and his hips stutters as he fills you with his cum, fucking it deep inside your pussy before pulling out once he’s satisfied.

You’re panting and seeing stars behind your closed eyelids when he gets up and retrieves his camera before going back to the bed, kneeling on it and spreading your folds to record his cum slowly dripping from your pussy before pressing the button to stop the recording. He discards his camera on the bedside table and lays down next to you.

You instinctively roll on your side, knowing that he was going to want to cuddle with you after that and make sure you’re okay.

"Everything good?”

He holds you against his chest and gently caresses your lower back.

"Yeah. Just a little tired"

You open your eyes and smile when his face and curls comes into view. He really is your handsome man.

"Good."

He smiles and kisses your nose.

"I might keep this video for myself actually…"

He says with an hint of possessiveness underlying in his tone.

“Oh yeah?"

"Yes."

He smiles and presses his lips against yours for a firm kiss before pulling away.

"Don’t move I’ll go get you a towel and a glass of water."

Now it was time for aftercare.

_________

Yup that’s it for me have a great day, personally I’m going to sleep

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #+18 only #yelenasdirtythoughts #yelenassafeplace #smut #mdni #criminal minds #spencer reid smut

[yearningaces]

You. I like you.

Summers were hot, winters were cold. The house could be warmed with the ample fireplaces, but as it was an old building, the most you had was nature's wind, after your box fan broke that is.

Thankfully, the houses old wooden floors were delightfully chilly, especially with how the house's foundation was raised off the ground, allowing cool wind to blow under it, raising into the wooden floors you could feel chilling your very bones as you lay where you are.

It was later in the evening, and the entry way was a vast space, with a spiralling staircase, archways directing to different rooms, and a hall connecting to the downstairs fireplace. But the entryway was vast and blissfully cool.

Once you'd rolled the rug out of the way and laid on the floor, you could only let out a relieved sigh. Feeling the cool wood, the scent of varnish, the faintest breeze. Did you open the window? You probably opened the window.

Regardless, after an exhausting and hot day, laying on the cool floors was exactly what eased the heated flush you felt covering your body.

With closed eyes and quiet sighs, you laid there for some time. Plotting plans for tomorrow, maybe you'd finally find the key for that door that never seemed to open. You'd been searching for that since day one.

Your mind drifts and wanders, slowing and muddling into a drowsy haze. You have a brief thought flash through your mind, 'if I sleep here, I sleep here.'

And then you feel the most comforting cool breeze, soothing the searing heat on your face. The gentlest caress, stroking your cheek.

You let out a soft mumble, turning your head, leaning into the comforting feeling, wanting to chase it without hesitation or fear in your blissfully hazy state.

Your efforts are rewarded, the touch seems more real in a sense. As if someone is cupping your face as lovingly as one possibly could. There's a moment of silence, a subtle buzz in the air, like static in a different room yet right beside you.

This continues, the gentle touch helping soothe and cool you, yet curious, as if mapping out your features. You let out a sigh, falling into a bone deep state of rest. The feeling of sleep blanketing over your mind and body in a way you've never felt before, not unlike when another can gift you the greatest comfort and safety, allowing your body to rest without fear or caution.

And you feel the tender press of cold lips against the crown of your head. The touch frozen and remaining for many moments, as if unaware or perhaps not ready to yet pull away, the touch relaxes for a moment, simply remaining pressed so softly to your skin.

And you fall asleep.

-

The next morning, you wake in your bed, groggy and bundled under the sheets, curtains drawn, door closed. The way you arrange it every night... You must have gotten up and brought yourself to your room two stories up. You must have... What else could it have been?

You travel downstairs, ready to get something to drink and start the day before pausing in the entryway. Your stare apparent as you realize something about last night.

The window was closed.

#letters of yearning #x reader #ghost x reader #Your House #monster x reader #gender neutral reader #monster romance

[its-vannah]

Along For The Ride | Graham Dunne x Reader

A/N: Y'all need to prepare yourselves, this is as devastating as it gets. Also the CHOKEHOLD this man has over me. I'm posting an alternate version of the same prompt sometime later today, I had two ideas that I just couldn't merge.

Warnings: Groupie lifestyle, angst, implied sex, drug use, alcohol consumption, smoking, OD

Daisy Jones and The Six Masterlist

Warren: Being on the road was fun, and it wasn't just because of the drugs and cheap booze. We had girls from thirty different directions coming at us. That had never happened before.

Eddie: The groupie scene was enjoyable, but I never really got into it. I'd see some of them, but I didn't take it to the level Warren or Graham did. One slept with every girl in a fifty mile radius and the other fell for one he couldn't have.

Warren: We had a few girls go to almost all of our concerts, at least the ones in the states. They couldn't all afford going overseas and we sure as hell weren't going to pay for it. There's no shortage of women who love a guy that can play the guitar, sing, or in my case, play the drums.

Eddie: Graham became infatuated with this one girl, Y/N, while we were touring. It was nice to see him actually get a girl, but he never shut up about it. It was enough to drive you crazy.

Graham: Y/N wasn't just a groupie. Not to me, at least. She was different.

Warren: The thing about groupies is that they only care about one thing: sex. I know from experience. That's not a complaint, by the way.

Graham: Y/N was only seventeen when I met her, and she had ready been through so much. I just wanted to help her.

Eddie: Graham thought he could "fix broken women". He was convinced. None of us had the heart to tell him that some women just don't want to be fixed.

Graham: She'd grown up loving music. In that way, she was just like us. The only difference is that she followed bands around. She got taken advantage of.

Warren: Y/N was a sweet girl. Easy on the eyes, had a fire to her. But she was sad. You could see it. Something wasn't right.

Graham: She sort of just melded right into the band. Started going on tours with us. She'd sit in the backseat with me, laying her head on my chest. It was a good feeling, being with a woman who saw you. Really saw you.

Eddie: Graham was caught up in his feelings for her. He didn't realize how self-destructive she was.

Graham: I found out she was addicted to coke not long after meeting her. She was doing lines in the bathroom while I slept in one of the hotels we were staying at. I begged her to stop, to think it through. I told her I'd be there to help her. She walked out.

Eddie: When I heard she had left, I wasn't surprised. That's what girls like her did. And when Graham told me what happened, I knew why she did.

Graham: I don't think anyone had ever told her they'd help her. It scared her.

Warren: It was quiet without her. Graham wasn't as chatty as he usually was, which was great for Billy, but it made tours boring.

Eddie: Graham started seeing Karen after Y/N left, something we didn't find out until much later. I think he was trying to heal from losing her. Not that he didn't love Karen, he did, but he was so lost. He really wanted to help her.

Graham: I found out she overdosed a few months after she left. I was devestated. The band had already split up, and music couldn't pull me out of that sinking feeling in my chest anymore.

Warren: I don't think he ever really got over her. Even now, she's in the back of his mind.

Graham: I started a foundation to help women struggling with addiction. We get them in counseling, room and board until they get a job that can support them, teach them life skills they may not have been taught when they were younger. It's all to prepare them for adulthood, even if theyre already in it.

Billy: One thing about Graham is that he's got a heart of gold. A part of me always knew it, but I never really acknowledged it. I'm proud of him, being able to turn something that overtook his mind into something that can help other women.

Graham: I don't want another girl's life lost to overdose or addiction. I don't think I could handle seeing it happen again. The band will always be an important part of my life, but I think the foundation is where my heart is.

#fanfiction #daisy jones and the six fanfic #daisy jones fanfic #daisy jones & the six #daisy jones and the six #graham dunne x reader #grahamdunne #graham dunne #graham dunne x y/n #fanfic #angst

[sleeplesssmoll]

Self-Image: How comfortable is the Timekeeper in her own skin?

This is purely speculative and more of a list of questions to consider. Food for thought!

Considerations

Scars

How does she feel about the scars on her back? (And scars in general cause I'm sure she has them but they aren't mentioned canonically unless they magicked them away with arcanum antics)

Is she self-conscious about her scars on her back or is it because she doesn't want to make feel people feel uncomfortable?

Is it one of the reasons she always wears long pants and long sleeves, or is that just a fashion choice?

Causal Nudity

This one seems silly but if you've lived with or stayed with other people, things happen. Someone walks into your room without knocking. You forgot to bring your towel. Your working on something and your clothes ride up, get torn, etc.

There are some people who could confidently strut around naked as the day they were born and others who lay awake at tonight 3 years later and get embarrassed by the memory of being walked in on. The there are also people who are apathetic to the whole thing and don't see to care. They won't leave the room undressed but they don't mind if someone walks in on them either.

I'll be honest, I can't see her in the first one and Sweetheart is probably a better example. For those who don't know her, these are some of her lines:

"Hmm... hah... a silk robe? Thank you, but I don't want it. Dress me up with Chanel No.5 (perfume). Only that is my nightwear." (Vertin trying to make her stop sleeping nude. It didn’t work.)

Now, you could say this is Vertin being uncomfortable with other people's nudity but it could also be her playing the part of Suitcase Dad and making sure the little ones (or anyone for that matter) aren't exposed to things they didn't sign up for. However, my question is more about Vertin herself. This exmaple is just to paint a picture.

In the second instance, Vertin would be very self-conscious. Is it shame/fear, and if so why (side-eyeing the Foundation rn)? Or perhaps she doesn't want to talk about the scars on her back/body? Maybe it has nothing to do with her but the way people react. She doesn't want to make people feel uncomfortable.

Or maybe she's just shy about stuff like that and and for once has nothing to do with her trauma 🥹

In the final case, Vertin doesn’t really care. Maybe it's because she grew up in a dormitory where it's common to change in front of other kids. Or she could be used to the medical exams and tests from the Foundation who didn't care about her privacy.

It could be a newer development. For example, Regulus barges in without knocking all the time. The kids scamper in on their own (the Twins, Erik, etc) The ghosts phase in and out of her room. She got used to it.

That being said, the person she's interacting with also plays a part. Levels of comfort are influenced by the other person in the situation. She might not flinch if it's one of the kids coming to her crying about a broken toy or what not. On the other hand, Tennant will be escorted out immediately by Sonetto and Dikke. I'm exaggerating of course, but I think it helps me explain what I'm trying to say. Nothing is all conclusive.

The Self

Unlike the others, this leans harder on perception. Who does Vertin see when she looks in the mirror? Is it someone she's proud of or someone she can't face? These things can warp your self-image and influence many things.

Self love, Self worth, and the extent to what you believe you "deserve". For example Do you deserve to be "loved"? If you don't believe that it might be hard to believe other people could love you either. Maybe you feel like you deserve suffering because you don't value your own worth.

(For anyone needing to hear this, everyone deserves happiness).

I'm curious to know other people's thoughts on this. Feel free to mention things I missed!

On a scale of 1 to 5, how comfortable is Vertin in her own skin? Heck Drop some hcs on me too if you'd like. I eat them up lol

#reverse 1999 #vertin #i was trying to write a fluffy story #but then my brain ran off on a tangent #and it still hasn't come home #this is actually a cry for help #brain #i need u #pls come home i will embrace the rot

[leviathans-watching]

oh god no! pro shippers can choke lol—i was thinking about poly ship with either asmo/mc/solomon or i was thinkin it’d be interesting to see what you think a poly v with barb & simeon would be like with mc. ( mc has two hands one for barb & the other for simeon :3c ) or if you have any other thoughts/hc’s for other pairings I’m down 💖💖 thank you btw I just found your blog today & I’m really loving what I’ve read so far

solomon & asmo being blanket hogs

includes: solomon x asmo x gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .5k | rated t | m.list | pt 2

a/n: my new favorite obsession istg. tysm for giving me this idea ily!! and good lol, i just had to make sure haha. i hope you enjoy!! my inbox is open to chat, req, or leave feedback, so come talk w me ^^

if you don't reblog u hate asmo

“wake up!” you hiss loudly, shaking asmo. “goddamnit, asmo!”

“wha- what?!” asmo jolts up, yanking his sleep mask up to his forehead. beside him, solomon sleeps on and you know nothing short of an earthquake will wake him.

“you guys are stealing all of the covers,” you say. “and it’s freezing in here, since someone has to sleep with the air on.”

“studies show it’s better for your health!” asmo defends. “and sleeping well is truly the foundation to looking and feeling good!”

“okay, but i’m still cold,” you complain. “and you and solomon are the worst bed and sheet hogs and i can’t fall asleep!”

“aw, babe, i swear i won’t steal the sheets. let’s lay back down and try to sleep, okay? if you want, i can keep you warm~”

“asmodeus.” you’re at the end of your rope, something he seems to realize. “if you don’t give me a real solution i’m leaving and sleeping on the couch in the living room, where it’s warm and i can have blankets.”

“hey, hey, there’s no need for that!” asmo says quickly, like you knew he would. he hates to sleep without you and solomon. “how about you sleep in the middle tonight? then you won’t get pushed to the side and you’ll have access to all of the blankets you need. plus, you’ll get more body heat.”

“fine,” you agree, “but i swear to god, if this continues i’m never sleeping with you again.”

you and asmo shuffle around, switching spots. you wiggle down under the covers next to solomon, and asmo slots himself beside you, wrapping an arm around you waist. asmo’s right; it is warmer. hopefully you’ll manage to salvage some of your rest.

*

you wake up delightfully warm, cocooned in a pocket of heat. arms and legs and sheets are in a tangle, and you can feel someone stroking up and down your spine. turning over slightly, you blink up at solomon, who gives you a sweet smile.

“good morning,” he whispers, mindful of a still-snoozing asmo. “can i ask about the change in positions? not that i’m upset, of course. waking up next to you was a great way to start my morning.”

“you guys kept stealing the sheets and almost pushing me off of the bed, so asmo and i decided switching spots was best.”

“really?” solomon quirks a brow, hand stilling against your bare skin. solomon never hesitates to take advantage of your shirt bunching up slightly during the night, seeking skin-to-skin contact like some sort of leech. “you decided?”

“don’t sound so dubious,” you chastise. “but you’re right, i threatened him by saying i’d move to the couch and he gave in.”

“that’s mean,” solomon says, but humor is evident in his tone.

“no,” you disagree, but before you can continue, asmo’s muffled voice cuts you off.

“it was! mc woke me up to complain! i lost precious beauty sleep!”

“i’m sure you’ll survive,” solomon says, and his hand leaves your back to brush against asmo’s shoulder. “and if you end up tired later, a nap wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.”

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

#obey me #obey me game #obey me shall we date #asmo obey me #obey me asmo #solomon obey me #obey me solomon #obey me x you #obey me x reader #obey me x gn!reader #obey me fluff #obey me ficlet #solomon x you #solomon x reader #asmo x you #asmo x reader #solomon x asmo #asmo x solomon #asmo x solomon x you #solomon x asmo x you #dicksoutformtl #answered asks #leviswriting #leviswriting-obeyme #obey me cute #obey me poly #obey me polyamory

[unseededtoast]

Turtle Doves | Joel Miller

Part Four

Chapter Directory

Series Summary: In which two broken souls connect so deeply, that if one should perish, the other would surely die of a broken heart. (slow burn, timeline changes. After TLOU1, before TLOU2, assumed knowledge of infected, uses elements from both show and game)

Series Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, death, and sexual content.

Also cross-posted on Wattpad and AO3. Link to my masterlist for everything else I’ve posted!

a/n: Hey y'all, I just want to ensure you that Joel will be showing up very soon!! I've just got a little bit more foundation to lay, thank you for being so understanding!

I make a vow that I will find and I will put an end to this serial killer.

The rain hadn't ceased throughout the night. In fact, I think it only started raining harder. The ground beneath my feet splashes with each hurried step I take. During my night-long planning, I had decided on going to James first with this information. I started second guessing if going to FEDRA would be the right thing to do, I began thinking that maybe if I reported it I would become the primary suspect and be charged with the crime. Though I know I am innocent, FEDRA doesn't always do a great job of investigating things. Plus, if the investigation gets messy, James might want to also take a break from smuggling until things die down.

I climb the stairs to James' place and knock heavily on the door. My weight nervously shifts from my left to right as I wait for him to answer. To my surprise, his wife opens the door, seeming to be shocked to see me on the other side. I must look deranged. I didn't sleep, I'm soaked from the rain, and I know my face isn't hiding my stress. Thankfully, she lets me in without a question. James' wife Theresa knows the business we're in and has no interest being involved, she typically leaves us alone.

"James!" She calls him out and gives me a curt smile before retreating to her bedroom. I give her a nod of gratitude and wait by the front door for James. He walks around the corner only seconds later, eyebrows shooting up once he sees me.

"What's goin' on?" His voice is serious. He knows that if I bothered to show up here, especially after our last conversation, that something is wrong. I rarely ever come by his place, mainly out of respect for Theresa. I swallow hard and take a breath.

"I found a body last night on the way back from area two. Young boy, maybe mid teens." I say, trying to keep my collected composure. James pulls out a chair at his kitchen table and motions for me to take a seat, a solemn look on his face. I shrug my backpack off and place it by the door before I go to take a seat.

"Was he infected?" He asks, lacing his fingers together on top of the table. I shake my head,

"No. No signs of infection. James, he was cut open, guts on the ground. And someone had carved the letter 'T' on his forehead. Whoever did this, it's almost like they're proud of it, they want people to know who did it." I say, voicing some uncertain conclusions I had reached throughout the night. He scowls and looks to the table's surface as he thinks. I hope he knows what to do, I really don't know what the right call is.

"You report it?" He asks, gaze coming up to my face.

"No. I was going to this morning but decided to come by here first. Get a second opinion." I adjust in my seat, my wet clothes clinging uncomfortably to my body. He nods his head in understanding.

"Go report it. That boy belongs to someone, the least they'll do is inform the family. They deserve that much." He says, giving me less than I was hoping for. Although, I don't exactly know what answer I came here looking for. Appreciative of his time, and feeling the need to get to a FEDRA post, I stand from the table.

"Might want to tell people to hold off for a few days, operations could be busted if they go out looking for the killer." I tell James and pick up my bag by the door. He nods,

"I will. Be careful out there Noelle, don't go doin' anything stupid." Opening the door, I give him a nod before I leave. I feel bad for intruding on his time, when I really shouldn't, he bothers me all the time at my place. However, I'm thankful he confirmed my plan of action.

James has been my number one confidant and partner for years now. We both ended up in the Boston quarantine zone fairly early during the outbreak. After I had been hauled away from my family, FEDRA placed me in a holding camp out near Philadelphia before moving me to Boston. James and I were placed on border patrol together when I first arrived, and we hit it off immediately.

Once rations started wearing thin and the hunger got to be too real, we got into the smuggling business together. Well, James got into it first and then brought me in once he realized how profitable it is. He had met another duo that were pretty heavily involved in not only pill smuggling, but arms dealing as well, and they let us take on a lot of the drug runs so they could focus on their guns. I never met them personally, but now they're both gone. James told me they had been offered a job and they were headed out of the QZ; they never returned and it's been about a year. So James and I had to step up and we began controlling most of the pill trade. James does more of the sourcing, and I do more of the running.

I reach the FEDRA post quickly and am pleased to see there's no line yet. It's early enough in the morning where people are probably just now getting ready to head towards their daily duties. The heavily armed soldier looks down at me as I approach him.

"The only extra duties we have today are in the sewer." He states, assuming I'm here for extra work. It's not uncommon for people to work two daily duty jobs, it brings in more ration cards. I shake my head,

"Not what I'm here for sir." I answer respectfully, knowing this soldier is not one I'm familiar with, and should be treated like a ticking time bomb. He just raises an eyebrow at me,

"What are you here for then?" He asks. I feel my heartbeat in my throat as I answer him.

"I was going to visit a friend on the west side of area two this morning, but I found a body. Young boy, stabbed to death in an alley." I keep my voice quiet, wanting to keep this between me and the soldier. Eavesdroppers would spread this news like crazy, and I know that's the last thing this investigation needs.

This piques the man's interest and he pulls me aside, leading me into a FEDRA building and into his makeshift office. He sits me down and pulls out a pad of paper and an old pen, writing down every detail of what I give him. My altered story doesn't seem to raise any alarms in him, and he buys whatever I tell him fairly easily. Once I tell him everything I know, he dismisses me. As I leave, I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Something tells me that FEDRA isn't going to solve this.

I resume my daily duties as I'm assigned, and luckily I was placed on graffiti cleanup again, so my day should be simple. Hours pass and I feel my eyelids growing impossibly heavy. After I'm done here today I'm most definitely resting tonight. Well, the best I can anyways.

After I've completed my duties, I return to my apartment and collapse on the couch. I kick my boots off on the floor and sleep overtakes me before I realize what's happening. However, even in sleep I am unable to rest. Images of the boy's body invade my dreams, turning them to nightmares. I wake with a start, a clap of thunder outside waking me from my demented slumber. Yawning, I rub my eyes and look out the window. The sun has disappeared, and of course it's still raining.

My mind is alive and my thoughts drift back to the boy, whether I'm awake or sleeping I can't seem to escape the murder. I'm convinced FEDRA isn't a reliable enough entity to solve this, they've proven over the years that they'd rather punish people for curfew violations than spend any time or effort on the real crimes being committed in the QZ. And if they do punish someone for a harsher crime, half the time they just place the blame on whoever is most convenient. If FEDRA won't solve this, then who will? The question weighs heavily on my mind and I'm unable to stop myself from pulling my boots back on and tucking my gun into my waistband.

The storm raging above is enough to cover the sound of my footsteps and the moon is still full enough to illuminate the ground a little, but is dimmed from the clouds. My feet carry me back to the alleyway where I found the body, but the boy has since been removed. I'm not entirely sure what I came here expecting, but I'm glad FEDRA was able to do the bare minimum. The spot where he was found has been washed clean by the rain, leaving little to no evidence and the smell of death no longer lingers.

Raindrops constantly fall on the spot, and my mind begins working. If I'm right, and the killer wants to be recognized for what they did, why would they stop at one victim? Surely they know FEDRA won't make a spectacle of this unless they find who did it, or who they're going to stick the blame on. No, it doesn't seem likely they'd stop until they get the recognition, or whatever else it is they're looking for. And, the brutality and branding of the victim shows they want to be noticed, they want to be feared.

The storm provides the perfect setting. The sound would muffle screams or struggles, the water would wash away blood and any other evidence. The storm and the QZ curfew is the perfect cover for someone who doesn't want to be caught in the act. My body freezes with this realization, the killer could be out here right now.

Once I'm able to move from my frozen state, I grab my gun and start walking around the back alleyways. If I'm right, the killer may prey on anyone they cross paths with, committing crimes of opportunity.

Methodically, I begin canvassing the alleys, taking care to watch for FEDRA soldiers and anyone else who may be lurking. My heart races each time I look down an alley, and slows each time I'm met with a dead end or an empty path. I'm not sure if part of me wants to find something or not.

I reach the south side of area five, having already searched through areas one and two. Area three is right in the middle of the QZ, it's too risky to search and I'm sure if there was anything to be found, FEDRA would find it. Area four is full of FEDRA apartments, and is also too risky to search.

So, I decide to put my gun back in my waistband and head back to my apartment in area one. I quickly come to terms that there's nothing out here to be found and that I searched as thoroughly as I could. It's both a relief and a disappointment. I would have loved to put down the killer on sight, so that they may never harm someone again.

My jacket is soaked through from the incessant rain, and my clothes feel heavy from the water. However, I can't seem to be upset about it. If wet clothes was the price to pay to find a killer, then I'd gladly pay it every day of my life. While I didn't find anything, or anyone, I can find solace in the fact I was out here for a good reason.

I try to make my trip across the QZ back to my apartment quick, not particularly enjoying being out past curfew for the second night in a row. Truthfully, this decision was borderline stupid. If FEDRA is openly investigating this case, they could be out in droves tonight. However, I can't seem to recall seeing a single soldier during my time out.

I pass through area five, backtracking the route I took to come here. Sure, there's a shorter way to my apartment, I could cut right through the middle of the QZ, but that's too big of a risk to take right now. I pass by alleys without looking, knowing they're empty.

Area five turns to area two and the rain finally starts slowing down to a light drizzle. Hopefully the storm is passing by and the sun will come back out in the morning.

However, my mundane thoughts about the weather are interrupted as I hear a cough to my left. I whip my head around to the sound and gasp when I see someone crawling on the ground, army style. My feet move before my mind can comprehend what's happening and I crouch beside the injured girl. She reaches out to me and I take her hand, observing the state she's in.

It's apparent she's been attacked, she's bleeding from several different places. There are large, deep gashes on her forearms and on the sides of her torso.

"Help us." Her voice is strained and rough. She grips my hand tightly and I try to assess how I can help her.

"It's gonna be okay honey. Here, turn over so I can help." I say, trying to roll her onto her back. My hands shake as I take my bag off and find my flashlight. I tuck it between my shoulder and head so that I can clearly see what's wrong.

The girl's breathing turns ragged and the shining light of my flashlight shows me why. The poor girl has been slashed, similarly to how the boy was. It looks like the knife must have hit her lung, she's choking on her own blood. I move my hands to try and stop the bleeding, but deep down I know there's nothing I can do to save her. I can't save a punctured lung.

"Shhh it's okay. I'm here, I got you sweetie." I say with tears streaming down my face. All I can do now is to comfort her as she passes on. My bottom lip trembles as I cradle the girl's head in my lap, listening as she chokes on her own blood and takes her last breath.

A sob shakes me as her body goes still. I move the girl's hair out of the way and am frozen to my core. On her forehead is carved the letter 'T'.

I stare at the letter carved into her precious skin as tears fall freely down my face. This sick, twisted monster struck again, right under my nose. Another young person dead and for what? It's like a sick game to whoever is doing this.

Gently, I place the girl's head on the ground and stand from my spot. The girl's words strike my mind once again, she said the word "us". Frantically, I look to my left and right to find someone else. And unfortunately, at the end of the alley, I see another dark form, unmoving.

With heavy steps I approach what I know to be another deceased teenager. To my horror, I'm correct. Bending down, I move the second girl's hair out of her face to see the same branding on her forehead.

As I crouch in front of the third victim, I take note of her injuries. She's been stabbed to death as well, her jugular looks like it was cut. Her death was likely quick.

The two girls in the alley look alike, possibly sisters. My heart sinks as I realize another family is going to receive the worst possible news. And my heart races as I realize these bodies also have to be reported in the morning.

Knowing there's nothing more I can do for these two girls right now, I reluctantly gather my things and head back to apartment for another sleepless night of thinking.

Once I reach my apartment, I resume the posture I had last night; constantly pacing back and forth. I'm sure my neighbors underneath me are furious, but they'll just have to live with it. Different possibilities and courses of actions run through my mind without pause all night long about what I could've done differently and what I should do now.

Surely I can't be the one to report these bodies. If I did, I know FEDRA would lock me up and sentence me to death. Someone else is likely to report them, they're not completely hidden away like the first victim was. So, hopefully I can count on someone finding and reporting them tomorrow, the family deserves to know.

Maybe tomorrow I can track down one of my FEDRA contacts and see if anything is really being done to avenge these kids. I have a bad feeling that this isn't going to stop until the person responsible is caught. If FEDRA doesn't do anything about it, it's only a matter of time before it falls to the vigilantes to take care of. With that thought, an idea crosses my mind, but it's more of a promise.

I make a vow to myself that if I find out FEDRA isn't taking this seriously, that I will find and I will put an end to this serial killer.

Part Five

#joel miller #joel tlou #joel miller tlou #pedro pascal #joel miller x oc #joel miller fic #joel miller fanfic #the last of us hbo #the last of us #tlou hbo #tlou fanfiction #tlou fanfic #tlou #joel the last of us

[dailyadventureprompts]

Drafting an Adventure: A death at dawngrace

The rampage of some winged beast has brought you into the service of Syr Volias, an experienced knight errant who has sought you out in hopes of putting an end to its far ranging carnage. It is early spring, and your party follows the thaw up the side of the mountain to an old ruin which surveils the surrounding valley.   So far the ruin, and your quarry, remain beyond sight. 

A new DM asked me if I could walk them through the creation of an introductory adventure; combining not only a solid first questhook but also incorporating my advice on session zero, party formation, and the fundamentals of dm storytelling. This adventure prompt is the result, serving not only as a tutorial for newer players, but a teaching example for new DMs as well. It can easily be run as a oneshot, used as a launching point for a greater story, or (for those of you who have some adventures under your belt) seeded into an ongoing game as a sidequest. The structure of the adventure is fairly simple, so rather than slathering on extraneous detail I’ll be going in depth about WHY each section of the adventure happens the way it does, and what purpose it serves in turning a group of scattered players into an invested adventuring party. 

We begin with the party already gathered and on their way up the side of the mountain, providing everyone (including the DM) with a clear direction for the action. What are we doing? we’re heading towards the ruin, and all we need to worry about at the moment is taking actions that lead us closer to it. Similarly, this adventure provides the players with direction during session zero, as they know vaguely what they’ll be doing on this outing (hunting a beast alongside a knight) and what sort of characters they might be playing: who would sir Volias seek out for aid? What have they done to earn themselves reputation as monster hunters? Why did they say yes? Using these sorts of ideas to guide character creation gives you a cohesive group identity right from the get go without having to bend over backwards to get the party together.

The mountain itself is a series of easy challenges intended to show off the game’s basic mechanics: as well as brief problem solving challenges like: the old bridge is out over this frozen stream, how do we cross? Do we take the high road or the low road, and can we make a survival check to get more information? Throw in some low stakes combat against some woodland critters freshly woken from hibernation and you’ve got yourself a solid tutorial. 

Travelling up the mountain also lets you start laying down the emotional foundation of the adventure: Character introductions can be made as in-depth as your group feels comfortable with, rounding off with the reserved but jovial Syr Volias.  Wishing to foster a spirit of camaraderie, the knight errant is quick to defer to others in situations where their skills or abilities would take prescience ( and thus giving you as the DM an in-canon method of spotlighting different players).  A shadow will be cast over the proceedings when the party finds the remains of a hunter lodged in a tree, a victim of their quarry thoroughly savaged and partially devoured, a prelude to more devastation should they fail. Bonus points if the hunter is someone known by at least one of the partymembers (perhaps providing the backdrop for a character introduction on its own),  with EXTRA bonus points if the hunter has a family back in town that the party has to inform. This pulls double duty of giving the party something to care about early, along with a reason to check out the town later on. 

Once they reach the overlook, the party is in for a chance of pace:  The ruins of Dawngrace were once the towerhome of noble family that ruled the region before the current war, and Syr Volias aims to use them as cover during his ambush of the beast. That of course requires the party to partake in a bit of dungeon delving, which gives you the chance for some structured exploration as they make their way through locked chambers and fight off whatever critters happen to be squatting within. Paint the dungeon as an escape room, a sequence of challenges to be faced to get to the ultimate goal, with a few hidden secrets and bits of treasure for them to discover along the way. If they start to develop a taste for lore,  splice in a few hints about the family that used to live here, and the war that pushed them off of their land some two decades ago. 

Then comes the night, the party’s first introduction to the long rest mechanics and a refresh of all their capabilities. Use this time to do some more character/roleplay work by asking them how they spend the night, what they’re feeling on the eve of battle. Mention the chance for a couple characters to go hunting and maybe snag some dinner, or pass around a flask. Likewise mention that after his late hour Prayers, Syr Volias removes his helm and starts preparing his gear for the next morning, signalling to the party that this might be a good time to approach him and ask about his whole deal, now that he seems to be less on guard. 

The knight errant is happy to talk about his previous adventures and his plans for the coming confrontation , but Making a proper persuasion or insight check ( good to give those social characters something) will reveal their chivalric escort has much more to say. As it turns out, the older warrior was hungry for glory in his youth, and the Kaeriellas, the noble family that plundered the lowland settlements and installed themselves as the new powers of the region. Volias is sparse with the exact details, save that he did many things that he regrets during those bloody years, and has spent the decades since trying to atone. He’ll mention that his shield was gifted to him by an elder of the temple of Pelor, a sign of the new beginning he made on his quest for redemption, and a weighty reminder of the past for which he must atone. 

Having fought many a beast of the wing, Volias is prepared for tomorrow: shelter the more vulnerable characters inside the ruin and prepare bait for their target within striking distance. Run ropes between the trees and various pitons to restrict its arial movement, draw it in as the dawnlight crests over the ridge and reflect it back with his sacred shield, potentially blinding it and causing it to crash. The battle will go well enough, but the beast the knight has set to fight is no mere drake as he expected, but a wyvern, which will bring it’s deadly sting to bear on the party… and the valiant knight who will intercede between them and a killing blow. 

After the battle is done, it’s time to ham up the death scene: Players often enter a campaign with different levels of investment, and it’s shared experiences (Both good and bad) that help them tune in to eachother and turn a gaggle of friends or random aquaintances playing together into a cohesive adventuring party. Its the clarity of the scene that’ll help sell it: a beautiful dawn lit morning, the chill of the mountain air, and the bitter sting of martyrdom that the party will need to come to terms with as Syr Volias chokes out his last. This knight  could have been a mentor to the party, he could have been a friend, and now they have to watch him die as the poison eats him from the inside out. He’ll congratulate them on their victories, offer a few memorable pieces of advice regarding their failings, and tell them to take the beast’s head to his onetime patron to ensure they get their reward. 

As one final request, Volias asks them that whatever they decide to do with his body or the rest of his possessions, if they could carry his shield to a particular temple several towns away and return it to the high priestess there, with an apology about not being able to keep his promises. This provides you with one of your first early game quest hooks to not only encourage the party to go out and see your world, but also gives them something precious to protect, something both emotionally charged and mechanically useful that might be stolen or lost if they’re not careful. 

You also might have noticed that we’ve been building up an early game antagonist in the form of the Kaeriellas noble family, who seized this region in a war of territorial aggression a generation ago.  No great world conquering villains, they exist to give your party someone to resent early game, especially after the heroes jump through several hoops (travel, talking their way into an audience, bringing the head if a wyvern to whatever Kaeriallas cousin serves as local magistrate) only to have their trophy plucked from their hands and their promise of payment revoked. The Magistrate will insit their agreement was with Syr Volias, reward to be delivered when he delivered proof he’d slain the beast,  and since Volias is not there to collect, there is no contract to pay out. This is going to drive your players up the wall, but that’s exactly what we want, getting them to dislike the Kaeriellas is not only another strong feeling they have about the world, but is also a stepping stone to getting them to dislike anyone the noble bastards work with in the future, a great way to set up new villains who come into the story as the party adventures and levels up. 

I hope this has been useful to you, and if it seems like a lot of prep work for a simple adventure of “ go here and kill this thing” understand that a lot of these steps are me over-explaining a lot of DM storyteller skills that usually become subconscious when mastered.  

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #d&d #5e #pathfinder #ttrpg #low level #Press Start #highlands #mountain #paladin #ally #monster hunt #noble #Survival #Wilderness #dungeon #Sidequest #chivalry #pelor #drafting an adventure #dm advice #dm tip #dm tips #dm tools #writing advice

[whateverisbeautiful]

🀄️reflecting on richonne

Season 3: The Tension Era 

Rick and Michonne’s "strangers arc" in Season 3 was so meaningful in laying their foundation...and it was also low-key steamy.  I deemed this the tension era because there’s tension in almost all their season 3 interactions and not a bad kind of tension either. 

They have this electric intensity with each other as they’re figuring each other out, and while it would lead to several tense stare downs or a few stern exchanges, there’s also just this blatant intrigue, chemistry, and sexual tension that’s evident in so many of their s3 moments. Even “at odds,” they still felt so connected in a deeper sense. And no one got Rick activated quite like Michonne lol. During their time as strangers, I love seeing the arresting affect Michonne had on Rick and the way Michonne saw Rick and made him feel understood like no other. To me, they found each other fascinating yet comforting in ways they couldn’t fully explain, which perhaps led to some of that tension.  

I know it’s often said that they distrust each other during s3 but honestly what stands out more to me is how much they are actually willing to trust each other so early on. Rick brings her on a run with just him and his kid and then happily lets her go alone with Carl to get a crib. And Michonne defends Rick to Merle and still sees Rick as a good man after he considered handing her over to the Governor. They trusted each other before they knew they trusted each other. 

Also, I stand by the fact that while Rick and Michonne’s love story was a slow burn throughout the seasons, their physical attraction was instantaneous. They liked what they saw when staring at each other fifty-leven times in s3. Can’t tell me any different lol. Like even in later pre-canon seasons when they became best friends, it was still giving 'that’s my hot best friend.' But fr beyond revealing attraction, the several s3 stare-downs without breaking eye contact wordlessly communicated that these two could truly hold their own with each other. Like Andy said, they had met their match - so naturally there was a spark. 😌

gif cred: @tonikray95

#richonne #s3 #rick grimes #michonne grimes

[theambitiouswoman]

How can a young woman develop a secure attachment and validate herself?

The first thing that’s important is to understand attachment styles, which are patterns of emotional bonding that develop between a child and their parent/guardian. I loosely brought this up on another question yesterday but to get more in-depth:

The way we attach ourselves to our parents as children and our experiences as a result, lays the foundation for our emotional and social development in later life.

There are 4 primary examples:

Secure attachment- You feel comfortable being close to others and trust that their emotional needs will be met.

Anxious attachment- You crave intimacy and fear abandonment, often becoming overly clingy or demanding in their relationships.

Avoidant attachment- You have difficulty forming close relationships and may be emotionally detached or distant.

Disorganized attachment- Inconsistent or contradictory attachment behaviors and may struggle with regulating your emotions in relationships.

Learning about attachment theory can help you understand how your early experiences may have influenced your attachment style and how it affects your current relationships.

A lot of people will find comfort in non secure or toxic attachments because they are what they used to. They normalize struggling and toxic behaviors as a result. They feel incomplete. Unmotivated. Unfulfilled. I can keep going with examples. I encourage you and everyone to focus on positive feelings that you’re suppose to feel that way you’re not subconsciously making excuses and justifications for negative ones.

These scenarios occur very commonly as a result of people not take the time to understand their emotions or patterns developed at an early age or after a traumatic situation.

Self validation involves acknowledging and accepting your own feelings and needs, without relying on external validation from others. This can be achieved through self-compassion, setting boundaries, self care and doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Instead of existing start living. Don’t take the life that is given to you and actively participating in creating the life (or person) you want (to be).

[that-one-random-writer]

Chasing You Chapter 11 {Complete}

Summary: Jake retires from the military honorably. He steps into a new roll, ready to settle down in his hometown of Texas. He is placed on your shift. Your current relationship is stable until the dust settles, revealing cracks in the foundation.

Warning-police work it gets gory at times and horrible so be aware 18+ smut.

Chapter 1. Next chapter. Masterlist

The drive falls under a comfortable silence. Decisions rummaging around your head. The pain still there but slowly fading away as the truck drove far away from your old residence just a few miles from Kennedy's house.

Jake unlocked the door and let you in. The cool air of his home blasting you suddenly. Sending chills down your spine.

He held the door, and you traveled into the home. The cold air clashed with the warm presentation of the living room. Jake laid his hand on your shoulder, reaching out to you as if he was asking the question that you were asking yourself.

You turned your head looking back at jake, making your decision. Whether it was the right or wrong, one would be determined later. His eyes captivating yours. You turned slowly towards him. You stepped closer. Your arm wrapped softly against the back of his neck. Your eyes fill with need. It had been so long since you had had a man's touch.

His hand rested on your lower back. He inched closer, his lips lingering over yours.

You leaned in, gently meeting his lips. Your cure for the pain working, at least for now, you traveled further. Resting your thumb on his jaw, wrapping your hand around the side of his neck. The pulses under your palm proving this to be real and no longer a dream.

Jake's hands reached down, pulling your thighs up, lifting you. He climbed the stairs, never detaching his lips. He carried you into his room, then slowly released your legs. Your hands climbed under his shirt as your feet touched the floor. He laid you down on the bed, pulling his shirt off. He tossed it and laid next to you.

His lips find your neck and bite softly. He hovered over your skin, his lips moving, giving life to the question he asked downstairs through his body. He wanted to be sure this was what you wanted. "Are you sure you're ready?"

You pulled back, looking deep in his eyes. "I'm yours for tonight."

Jake's reached his lamp, turning off the light. His lips met yours again. The full moon shining a glow through the window. It highlighted your curves as his hand slid down. Stars glimmering in your eyes as the dim lighting dances on his body. Your palms pressed against his chest. He positioned on top of you, straddling your hips. You leaned up, pulling off your shirt.

Jake grabbed it, tossing it next to his. His chiseled jaw hovered over your neck as he leaned down over your sitting position. He kissed down your skin, moans leaving your lips. He trailed lower. His fingertips slipped your straps down your shoulder, and your bra fell to your waist without the support from your shoulders. You reached behind, unclasping your bra tossing it to the growing pile.

Jake softly guided your body to lay down. His chest pressed against yours in a quick kiss, then he explored down. His tongue searched your nipples finding your sweet moans. His hand traveled lower, slipping under the hem of your pants, feeling just how bad you needed him. Your hand grasped at the sheets as he played with your clit.

"Jake..." You're breathless with his touches.

His lips return to yours, he speaks between kisses. "I will never get enough of you." His finger pressed your clit teasingly.

You push his hand away, unbuttoning your pants, unable to take the teasing. You were starving for him. Your pants found their way to the floor his were next.

"You're so beautiful." He kissed your cheek. You rolled him to his back as you straddled him. His buldging cock pressed down as you rolled your hips teasing with only boxers between you now. The cloth soaking in the precum. You leaned up pulling off the final layer. You pressed your soaked pussy back down rubbing his cock as it was wedged between you two. He groaned. His hands reached to your waist pulling you up. Your weight on your knees and one palm against his headboard.

You guided his cock inside. His eyes rolled back feeling your tight walls around his throbbing cock. You rode up and down moans filling his ears as he pleasured you. His thumb circled your clit. Your back arched riding him. "Say my name." He said smuggly.

"J-Jake..." you stammered. The pleasure filling your core.

He wrapped his arm around your back, flipping you suddenly. Your back pressed into the bed. He held your legs, rolling his hips quickly and pulsing in and out of you. Your fingertips rubbed your clit as his pace quickened.

"H-harder... please... I'm so close.." you grip the sheets tightly with your free hand. You moan loudly. He thrusts harder. You moan louder the high filling your veins.

"Jake.. I'm cumming." You scream out in complete pleasure.

You wrapped your legs around his hips as he's thrusting. "I-I can't p-pull out with your legs w-wrapped around m-me." His voice straining as he's climbing closer to his high.

"I'm on the pill." You softly giggle out. He leans down thrusting with intensity. "Cum inside me Jake. My tight pussy needs your cum." Your finger finds his nipple rubbing circles around it. His thrusting slows as he fills you up with his cum.

He breathes in deep slowly pulling himself out, cum slipping out of your folds soaked pussy lips. You winced at the loss of contact. He rolls over laying on his back beside you.

He breathes out with a smirk. "You are so fucking hot."

You stand up with your legs shaking. "I'll be even hotter in the jetted tub." You smile back at him and walk to the room you were once in before. You started the tub and got in, cleaning the cum off. You leaned back as he walked through the door.

"Can I join?" Your dream suddenly coming to life. You moved to give him room. He sat down the warm water surrounding you both. You positioned yourself straddling him. He wrapped his arms around you. You leaned down your lips, hovering over his. He closed the gap. Your lips caressed his. You pulled back with a soft smile, pulling at the corner of your mouth.

The bath relaxed your body. You both got out after cleaning up. You wrapped a towel around your body. He wrapped one around his hips. He stood behind you wrapping his arms around you. Jake kissed your cheek softly. Your smile lifted your lips. He picked you up bridal style leading you to his bed once again. He laid you down removing your towel. He pulled his away then laid down beside you pulling you into his chest. "Are you going to let me take you on a date?" His finger traced your back.

"Yeah.. I'd like that." Your hand wrapped around his shoulder.

"Why don't you stay here with me? You can live here. I have the space. You can be here with me." Jake looked down, kissing the top of your head.

"I'd like that." You spoke softly, rubbing his shoulder with your thumb.

You both drifted off to sleep, your mind so far away from any worries, any flashbacks from work, nothing holding the sleep back. You were at ease in his arms, safe.

Tag list:

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@emma8895eb

@deaddumblbumble

@wade-wilsons-chew-toy

@twsssmlmaa

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@djs8891

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[samwpmarleau]

genuinely wanting someone who hated the james tartt sr. story to explain (not putting u on the spot, others feel free to weigh in!) — in what way is showing a character has chosen to go to rehab & smiling once = redeeming that character ?

i literally feel like people complaining about sr’s “redemption arc” are watching a different show than i am…. having qualms is valid but i don’t think redemption is what anyone was going for here.

Requisite disclaimer that this is just my opinion. Others may have their own.

Putting this under a cut because it's long.

I don't think he was redeemed — in my eyes, he's way beyond redemption — but I think the show clearly wants us to view him as such. Which is an issue because there's absolutely no foundation for it. The last we saw of James, he was humiliating his son in front of the entire team and, had it not been for Beard (whom James later tried to murder, let's not forget), would have assaulted him. Since then, while we hadn't seen James, we'd heard a story of him: Jamie tells us that when he was 14, James facilitated his rape via a prostitute in a foreign country, which traumatized Jamie so badly that he doesn't even remember the encounter.

To say nothing of the other things we've learned and seen:

Throwing a boot at Jamie's head

Laying into him for having the audacity to score merely the winning assist rather than the winning goal

Constantly calling Jamie soft if he didn't dominate, thereby forcing Jamie to put up walls to protect himself

Impregnating Georgie when she was 16 (let's really hope it was a short relationship because oh wait, the age of consent in England is 16 so if they were in a relationship any earlier, James would be a statutory rapist twice over)

Abandoning her and Jamie shortly after Jamie was born

Many many more things we're not privy to

James is a piece of shit, to put it mildly. That's what they told and showed us throughout the first 33 episodes of the show. The incident at Wembley, and James in general, hadn't so much as been mentioned since it happened, not even in the episode in which they played Man City, let alone hints that James suddenly had a come-to-jesus moment.

Then we get to 3x11, and Jamie is having an identity crisis and two near-panic attacks — one of which causes him to faint — because he's spent half his life doing what he did out of anger at his father and to prove himself, and he now has to face what happens when those motivators are no longer there.

He goes to his mother for comfort and advice, which she gives to him, and it's great advice! She tells him that he's an amazing person, that his worth isn't derived from his father, and that James isn't going to change so Jamie shouldn't be torturing himself with hope. All of that coincides with everything we'd seen up until then, and is headed for a sad but important message: sometimes people don't change. Sometimes people won't love you or give you their approval. Sometimes you do need to cut ties with someone, even if that someone is your parent. It's okay to not forgive them or come to a nice rosy conclusion with them, and that you can move on without doing so.

And what does the show do? It has Ted — Ted who is projecting like hell, Ted who thinks every parental situation is the same, Ted who has absolutely no business butting in on something like this, Ted who has already given Jamie shitty advice before — telling him to "just forgive him." Which not only sets Jamie up for falling right back into James's abusive cycle but completely obliterates what Jamie's mother said. Instead of her experience and relevance leading to good advice, the show tells us she was wrong and heartless, that Ted is the one to listen to. Additionally, it tells us that Jamie can't be his best self unless he forgives and reconnects with James.

(Ted also frames this as Jamie letting go of his anger. Which is a rather strange thing to be a lightbulb moment for Jamie, considering that wasn't his problem. He himself said earlier in the episode that he feels so lost because he doesn't have that anger — he has indifference. Jamie didn't need a releasing of anger or forgiveness for his dad, he just needed clarity and guidance.)

Then, it shows us James in rehab. To which I say: since fucking when??? What had we seen or heard from James that would ever indicate he'd go to rehab? Worse, it shows us James nearly crying with pride and love for Jamie (oh, can't forget Denbo and Bug either and their "His dad would've been proud" nonsense). Since fucking when??? James has NEVER shown pride or love for Jamie. Jamie has only ever been a source of clout for him. FFS, he gleefully cheered against him at Wembley!

To say nothing of the fact that James's alcoholism was a symptom, not the disease. Alcoholism doesn't make you the sort of person to do all of the horrific things James did. It may have made things worse, but it didn't cause him to do them and getting clean doesn't magically make him into a good person as the show implies.

All of which I still would've hated but could have probably accepted, were it not for the text. Fine, have Jamie forgive him (ugh). Fine, have James in rehab (maybe I'll pretend it was court-mandated).

But then they have Jamie — Jamie who doesn't even know James is in rehab, the last memory he has is of 2x08 — actually reconnect. They even show that he's deleted the quotes he used to have around James's name in his phone. Jamie says it's "been awhile," that he hopes he's okay, and smiles after sending it. The implication being that he and James will reconcile and perpetuate the bullshit that family is family no matter how abusive they are and you can't not keep ties. What the fuck. Jamie should not have to do that, and the SHOW certainly should not present that message.

It's harmful, repulsive, puts Jamie in harm's way, and I really fucking hate it.

#no i am never going to be okay with this #i cannot tell you how much i despise it #jamie tartt #james tartt #tl #tw child abuse #tw rape

[away-ward]

Make No Apologies, pt 4

Finally got the chance to finish this little bit. It's not a true epilogue or anything. More like a moment that would be set a few months later.

<<<Part 3

Master list

Will

After

“It’s perfect,” Em whispers. 

I lean against the doorframe of our en suite, moving slowly so I don’t draw attention, while she ogles whatever is displayed on her laptop, answering whoever’s on the phone. From our bed. As we near midnight. In her cute little flannel pajamas. She’s dressed for the winter chill in a matching set, refusing to give up the comfort of warmth for something sexier. Doesn’t matter; she’s could still get any red-blooded male she wanted while wearing burlap sack. 

But instead of paying attention to the man watching her, she remains captivated by the screen. And the person on the other line.  

I’m torn. I love that my wife gets excited about things I wouldn’t understand. Seeing her eyes light up and dance at things like Georgian Terraces or exposed ironwork or whatever gives me a high that I can’t get from anything else. That I could see ideas form in her head as she looked at something otherwise unremarkable, and that she had the skill to take whatever was in her head and create it in the real world - I live and breathe that shit. 

There are a few things Em does that I hate. Like when she climbs on a ladder without asking someone to hold it or spends too long focusing on a project, and her eyes get bloodshot from lack of sleep.  

I was trying to pay Damon’s people to keep an eye on her before Damon found out and put a stop to it. Which I think is ridiculous because if Winter was out there climbing twenty-four-foot ladders, you can bet he’d have her in a harness and a minimum of five people holding that thing. But God forbid I try to tip someone a little extra to make sure my girl doesn’t lean too far off the side of a building and I’m “babying her.” 

Whatever. I know there’ll always be a part of Em that’ll try to do things on her own, and push beyond her limits. As much as I urge her to ask for help, she always seems to double-down, as if challenging me. At one point in my life, her letting me help in any way was too much to hope for. 

I just want to do so much for her, to show her I’m more than the boy she knew in high school or the addict that broke into her apartment. Just the idea of being the person who can make her smile, much less support her, is enough to get me out of bed every morning. 

Em gives me everything I could ever need, but she always makes me work for it. 

But now she’s smiling into the phone, at the someone talking in her ear. I knew she had a life in San Francisco that she left behind to come back here. Returning to Thunder Bay, working with Damon – those things were never in her plans, but she did that for me.  

It wasn’t like I demanded that she drop everything to come back here. I would have given her the time to transition. But she did it without hesitation, no questions or doubt about what she wanted. Just uprooted her life because where she wanted to be was with me.

For months, we’ve lived in a dream, almost seamlessly laying down the foundations of our lives together as if we never skipped a beat – or ten years. She doesn’t keep anything from me. It’s been fascinating to watch her change from a girl wrapped up in secrets and anger to a woman who lays her entire life bare, so open and beautiful.  

I didn’t think it would bother me this much, her keeping some things to herself. I respect her privacy, but a week of catching her whispering on the phone and ending conversations when I get too close and closing her laptop as soon as I come into the room. If I linger in the shadows long enough, I think I can hear a man’s voice on the other end - all of it has left me in a mood.   

Her eyes shine at the screen, but I know if I ask to see, she’d pull it away. I bet the person on the phone knows what she’s looking at. They know what’s making her smile like that. 

I recognize this feeling. Secrets. Jealousy. Things I thought we’d left behind. 

I clear my throat, and her eyes shoot up, startled behind her glasses. “I’ve got to go,” she says to the person on the phone, abruptly cutting them off as she hangs up. She closes the laptop and puts it on her bedside table before removing her glasses and putting them down next.   

“Who was that?” I ask, pulling back the covers as she turns off the lamp and shimmies down on her side. 

My stiff movements as I slip into bed next to her must give me away. She turns to watch me, her brown eyes infinitely bigger without the barrier. “Nobody,” she says slowly, “just someone from the firm that needed consulting.” 

Consulting? “Same nobody you’ve been talking to all week?” I try to keep my tone neutral, simply curious, but even I can hear the annoyance seeping in.   

She reaches out, putting her soft hand on my cheek, rubbing some of the stubble that’s grown in. It’s not usual that she’s the one soothing me out of a rotten mood. Sometimes, I think it’s the only thing I can do for her. Em’s so capable, she doesn’t even really need me. She survived on her own long before me, and she could do it again. I’d been the one to fall apart if she ever found a reason to leave. 

But Em wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t cross any lines. Not after everything we’ve been through. Her thumb rubs the line of my cheek bone, eyes dancing around my face. I see the love she has for me shifting through her expressions.  

She sighs, tightening her lips. “It’s just business,” she says. Taking her hand away, she lifts sheets and pulls them up to her chin, curling on her to side facing me and closing her eyes. 

We usually fall asleep talking. This time she’s not waiting for me to get comfortable.  

I can’t. I can’t force myself to turn off the light or lay down. I just look at her resting peacefully, hair wrapped in a bun on top of her head, eyelashes resting against warm cheeks. Her shoulders lightly rise and fall with each breath, and I know sometime in the middle of the night, she’ll crawl over here and warp herself around me. 

My heart bursts in my chest.  

“You’re not...regretting your decision to leave right?”  

“Leave where?” she mutters, as if already half asleep. 

“San Francisco.” 

“Hmm?” 

I lean over her. 

“Who’s the guy?” I whisper, feeling stupid as each word leaves my mouth. 

She doesn’t react immediately, and I think maybe she’s asleep. Just as I’m about to give up and let it go, her brow furrows, creasing sharply in the middle. Her eyelids flutter open as she sits up, piercing me with a dark look. 

“What?” she snaps.  

“The nobody that needs consulting,” I answer. “Is it someone I know?” I only know three of her former male associates and one of them nearly got a restraining order against me. Thankfully Em was able to talk him out of it, though I’m sure my friends leveraged that decision as well. 

“Are you serious right now?”  

“I’m not accusing you of anything,” I retort. 

Em scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Except you are, or you wouldn’t bring it up right now.” She motions to the bed where we sleep; where we have some of our most intimate moments and conversations.  

“Can you blame me?” The dam of emotion I’d been holding back finally breaks. With too much energy buzzing through my body, I throw back the sheets and stand. “You’re having secret chats all day every day”- she rolls her eyes again, and yeah that’s hyperbolic as hell, but fuck me - “even in our bed, and you won’t tell me anything. What am I supposed to think, Em?” 

She turns on the light so we can see each other clearly. “You want to know what I’m doing? Fine,” she says. She grabs her computer, pulling it on her lap and jabbing at the keys. I stand above her, arms crossed, aware I’ve made a huge mistake before she even says anything. 

And here’s another stupid thought that burns a way through my brain: she looks so hot angry. In all our post-marital bliss, I’d nearly forgotten what her rage looked like. How it felt when she breathed fire. 

“Here, look.” She turns the screen toward me. 

God, I feel dumb. Mentally, I berate myself. “I don’t know what I’m looking at.” 

At the center of the screen is an image of a square with three colors – mainly white, with a bright red side and lines of black across the bottom. 

“It’s a painting,” she answers as I study the screen. “There was an artist my old firm bought from a lot, and he did this series of abstract pieces. This one always said ‘Will’ to me.” Em chuckles, “I’d go to his gallery just to see it, even though I told myself that wasn’t the reason. I just really liked all his pieces,” she says sarcastically and shakes her head.  

I look at her, waiting for more. 

“Then one day it was gone. Someone had bought it. I went home thinking it was no big deal, but I knew that painting was meant to be yours” She glances up, eyes sparking with convection, before looking back down. “The person I’ve been talking to is the artist. He heard me out and put me in contact with the owner. It took some convincing and help from the artist, but he agreed to sell. He's sending it back to the gallery where they’re going to build a custom frame for it and then ship it to us. I was making arrangements to have it delivered next week.” She lifts her judgmental stare to me again, “It was supposed to be a surprise for you, but you can't stop yourself, can you?” 

I look at the image with a new understanding. Seeing it as a painting, the different lines and texture started to make sense. It’s easy to see why she thought of me. The colors that make up the composition, white being the taking up most of the canvas, with a bold streak of red down the left side, and a few swipes of black around the bottom. It is jarring similar to my mask, and I loved the idea of hanging this somewhere people could see it. 

Like an ode to my other half. A way to bring the two parts of myself together, right under people’s noses. 

She knows me so well. 

“This is amazing, Em.” 

“Well, it would have been an even better surprise,” she says. And then she smiles, forgiving me as she always does.  

I close the laptop and put it down on my side, before turning off the light and crawling back into bed. I lay down facing her as she slips under the covers again. Our eyes adjust to the darkness in silence, but once I’m able to see her features, and see that she’s looking at me too, I groan. “I’m sorry, Em-”  

Her hand comes the rest over mine, gripping it. “I get it. I wouldn’t like you talking to some mystery woman either. Besides,” she chuckles, “I kind of like that you still get jealous over me.” 

I lean over, kissing her deeply. Without disconnecting our mouths, she moves back, lying flat on her pillow, inviting me to I crawl over her body. She opens for me, hands moving up my sides and over my shoulders as I find my way under her thick pajamas. 

In the middle, as I settle into her familiar frame, she laughs as though I’ve tickled her. “What?” I ask, continuing to lay kisses across her cheeks and going lower.  

“Seymour,” she says softly. 

My body jolts and freezes. I look up at her from my position near her belly. "What did you just say?” 

“The artist,” Em continues, rolling her lips to keep the laughter inside, “that’s his name. That’s the name of the person you thought I’d leave you for.” 

I rise, hovering over her and glaring. The additional knowledge doesn’t help what’s happening in my head. Why is she laughing? 

“Mm,” she moans, teasing out the syllables, “Seymour.” 

I cover her mouth, cutting off her giggles. “Don’t you ever say another man’s name in my bed again.” 

Not the least bit threatened, her body shakes uncontrollably beneath me.  

The way I see it, I have two options. I can roll back over a pout, or I can make sure she knows whose bed she warms at night. 

Thank you for taking the time to read, like, or comment. I really appreciate it. And a special thank you to those who waited patiently while I took the extra time to work this out. I also apologize for any mistakes or typos.

#devil's night series stuff #devil's night series #willemmy #will grayson iii #emory scott #my fic #au #request #multiple chatpers

[alagaesia-headcanons]

I have a proper update for Clear Horizons!

(For my new followers, here's an explanation of this fic!)

I've finally finished drafting the section that was giving me the most trouble!!! I'm not entirely out of the woods yet, but it's a significant and gratifying mark of progress. The part I'm working on is after Murtagh and Orrin first meet, but before a scene I've planned where their relationship takes a turn and reaches a new understanding. So in that span they have a lot of chemistry and care for each other but they're also still hesitant and guarded. It's a very tricky dynamic to write. It still needs more depth, I haven't gotten to that emotional development scene yet, but I'm now finished with the first week Murtagh spends in Aberon with Orrin.

My main breakthrough with the frustrations I was having with that was to cut two of the scenes I already wrote and move them to a later point in the story. Then I reconsidered what I wanted the first week to cover. The writing progress went especially slow, even by my standards, and the section ended much longer than I expected it too. But I think both were worthwhile. This section is crucial for laying a lot of the foundation everything else will build upon. The prolonged time I spent with each piece gave me the room to untangle the needs of the story and the detail throughout numerous consecutive scenes gives clarity to the major cornerstones. (I pray I'll still feel that way when I go back to edit it later lol)

I optimistically think the pace will pick back up again when I carry on with the rest of act 2. This should be one of the only continuous spans of time that's fully rendered out with such intensive and thorough detail. I think just two other points in the story might get a similar treatment. I'm approaching the rest with a more selective focus that helps move the story along.

I have a plan for how I should proceed now, which has numerous parts. First and foremost with concerns to Clear Horizons, I'm going to take the opportunity to pause writing the actual fic and shift back to note taking, with the goal of hammering out Thorn's character arc. Unlike my last desperate bout of note taking, I've been prepared to tackle this from the outset. In this whole process, Thorn has been by far the hardest part for me, for a myriad reasons. It's very important to me to give him a character arc with meaningful significance to the story, and initially I had no idea how to accomplish that, but I realized that I had to start without it if I wanted to start at all. So I drafted all of act 1 aware that I still needed to figure out my intentions for Thorn and I would have to add in more writing to integrate that.

I can tell this is the right time to do that. I'm glad I didn't let it stop me from jumping in; it feels more approachable now then it did then. I still anticipate that it'll be very tricky, but now I have some ideas to guide me and I believe I can do this. I also hope it will fill out some of the other gaps in the plans I do have. My last note taking stint helped a lot with the other main character arcs. Orrin's specifically is the strongest right now, I think it's in a really good pace. Murtagh's is far improved, though it feels like it still has some pieces missing. As I wrestle with Thorn, I'm going to pay close attention to how that can contribute to Murtagh's arc because they naturally should weigh on each other quite a lot. I hope figuring out my intentions with Thorn will provide much of the connective tissue I'm missing right now.

Before continuing with the main writing, I'd also like to edit the rest of act 1 that I haven't gotten to yet. It's a pretty arduous process, but I know it wouldn't be smart to put it off much longer. It's very valuable and I should at least edit up to the last section of act 1. It might be more effective to wait on that one because I think it will be overhauled the most after Thorn is properly added to the equation.

There are some other things I want to add in act 1 too. While making those notes, I recognized key aspects of both Murtagh and Orrin that deserve more exploration. I plan to take the first two sections, one about each of them, and divide them both in half so there's four sections, then I can add those details throughout them. I think it will also improve the pacing. That's currently not my priority, so I don't know if I'll do that before returning to writing progress, but it's in the plans.

On a different track, I want to take a small break before getting back to that grind. For a significant length of time now, Clear Horizons has held my attention largely uninterrupted. It's eclipses my other creative impulses. I don't feel like that's inherently bad, I often set aside my other interests for a while to pursue inspiration for a certain thing. But given how long I think Clear Horizons will take, even from this point, I don't want to do that the whole time. It's already been a long time since I've drawn anything, and longer still since I've worked with clay. I have a stretch of time off around Christmas and I think I'm going to force myself to not work on writing during that and enjoy other things. Since I have quite limited free time in my day to day, part of me gets frustrated feeling like having a lot of time and not using it to work on this is a waste. I need to remind myself that a project like this is not a sprint, it's a marathon, and taking breaks will benefit me in the end.

(There's a very high chance I'll make some Eragon related art anyway lol. And also Hubert. Maybe I'll show you guys Hubert.)

I also hope the mental break will push me to answer the asks people have sent me too! I'm sorry it's taken so long, I promise I won't forget! Clear Horizons honestly has been the biggest distraction from that. That being said, since it occupies so much of my mind, I always adore taking about it. Of course I still welcome all kinds of asks, but especially anything about Murtagh, Orrin, them together, or my fic specifically- and I'll also probably answer any of those right away because I seriously can't resist lmao (This isn't a headcanon blog anymore but this ship is the sole exception, I have so many feelings)

I really hope you guys will love this when it's finally complete. Part of me is nervous, but I'm doing my best to trust that the act of putting so much devotion into it will shine through on the other side ❤️

#clear horizons chatter #eragon #inheritance cycle #murtagh #orrin #yall this is Long ahdjdhsjfk #if you read it all youre a real one #ill also be considering how to share more wip content going forward! #(justice for hubert)

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

On Film

Genre: Paparazzi!Jihoon, Famous!Reader

Word Count: 14k Words

Tags: Slowburn, Cameos from most of Seventeen, Quiet Jihoon, Workaholic reader and Jihoon

Summary:

You don’t think you’re ever going to get used to being in the spotlight. You secretly loathe the feeling that you get when somebody is watching you. You aren’t very keen on people taking your picture when you aren’t looking and don’t want it. But for some reason, whenever you see him, your whole word view flips.

After all, what’s the harm in a few measly pictures?

-

You looked up from where you were sitting in the coffee shop waiting patiently for Seokmin to show up. You glanced down at your watch, wondering when he was going to get there. You had been there for only a few minutes and already you felt someone’s eyes on you.

You pulled out your phone turning on the camera feature so that you could get another gauge for how your makeup looked. You hated doing light makeup looks, netizens always said that you were trying too hard to look naturally beautiful.

You hated that. You weren’t trying hard to look any type of beautiful. You just had a shoot later where they were going to do your makeup beforehand, so you didn’t really have the option to do much more than some concealer and foundation.

Maybe in the future you should just avoid going out before shoots like this. It only stressed you out anyways.

You held your phone out a little bit further, your free hand laying daintily in your hair, and a small smile pressed across your lips. You took a few photos and then dropped the pose, looking down at your phone.

You scrolled through the pictures until you found the one you liked the most. You favorited it and then started to make a post on Instagram.

You had a few things that you could say with it. But you didn’t really like the way any of them made you sound. So, after ten minutes of wondering what caption you should use you just decided to go with the easiest option.

You posted it without a caption.

Your fans could put the pieces together of what you were doing on their own.

You sighed and glanced at the time again.

Still later then you were supposed to meet. Still no Seokmin.

You decided to look over the menu again, mulling quietly over what food you should order. You were considering the cheesecake, but you didn’t want to eat too much before your shoot… Maybe you could convince Seokmin to share it with you.

You knew for sure that you wanted to get a coffee. You weren’t sure yet if that meant a latte or a iced americano. Either way, you knew that you would be thankful for the little caffeine boost in a few hours.

After looking through all of your options a few more times you felt yourself grow bored again, and the frustration at having someone’s eyes burning into you was starting to get to you. If they were a fan, you wished they would just come and ask you for a picture. You were tired of feeling watched.

You looked up, fully intent on finding out who was staring at you. Your eyes scanned the room until finally they caught sight of someone. A boy, sitting a few tables away from you. He had a camera set on the table and his head was rested on his hand. His head quirked up a little when you two made eye contact with one another, but he didn’t turn away, giving you the time to really look at him.

He had dark hair that fell just over his eyes, it was messy, like he hadn’t put much thought into it before he left but despite that it still looked really good. His eyes were a dark brown, but they were soft and speculative. A heavy contrast from the looks you were generally pinned under.

He looked a little embarrassed at having been caught. Color dusted over his soft cheeks. His hands lowered to his camera and he rose it just slightly off of the table.

The question was clear. He wanted to take your picture.

You gave him a small, barely there nod, and as you did Seokmin finally arrived. He had an apology on his lips, but you didn’t really hear it. You tore your eyes away from the boy and reached forward, the tips of your fingers touching Seokmin’s.

“Paparazzi,” you said softly. A sigh left Seokmin’s lips. You turned your head towards the boy and Seokmin looked that way as well. You two smiled softly, for a few moments- long enough for a few pictures- and then you turned back to one another.

“I thought that we could at least get our food before any of them found us,” Seokmin said. You shrugged.

“Maybe if you had been on time, we would have been able to.”

Seokmin rolled his eyes.

“You know how it is.”

He didn’t have to say more. You did know how it was.

“Annoying that we never get any time to ourselves,” Seokmin continued. Your eyes trained on him as he skimmed the menu. You took note of how his brow was furrowed. He looked frustrated.

“Not a good day on set?” You observed.

“Just tired of being on film.”

You hummed, your eyes turning back towards the person who was taking your pictures. He had momentarily stopped taking pictures. You could tell by the way the camera hung lax in his hands. You gave him a small smile.

“Yeah,” you agreed. “Annoying.”

You didn’t get a lot of time to yourself.

You felt like that was something you hadn’t really been prepared for when you started your career.

Yes, you had been expecting the late nights reading scripts, and the early morning talk shows. You had known that there were going to be days where you got maybe two hours of sleep, and you had known that you would spend most of your time on set. But you hadn’t realized how much of your life you would spend living for others.

Whether or not you were going to get coffee before a shoot or going to see your manager you always had to be ready to be adorned by the outside eye. Even when you were getting your mail you had to be prepared for the off chance of a fan driving by while you were getting it- Honestly you had stopped getting your mail at all.

Even if you were in disguises or with other celebrities or even with non-celebrities your photo was always being taken, there were always fans who wanted to take pictures with you, there was always someone else that you had to smile for.

“Cut.”

A relieved exhale left your lips and you stood up, stretching your arms out. As you did so, your makeup artist Amy rushed over, a few brushes in her hand. You gave her a pressed smile as she began to reapply your makeup lightly. You felt like it was unnecessary, but you didn’t say so.

“Tired?” Amy observed. You hummed.

“And we are only six whopping hours in to this nine-hour shoot.”

You didn’t really mean to complain. You couldn’t imagine doing anything else for work after all. Coming in and acting… Well, it was always fun but today, for some reason, you just weren’t feeling it. As Amy pulled out blush your eyes wandered to your costars, Mina and Sara. You watched as they wandered over to the barrier where a number of your fans were all standing watching your show film.

You watched them interact with their fans for a few moments, watching a smile light one of the fans faces when Mina reached out and put her hand to theirs. You sighed and lightly waved Amy away, she pulled back, looking flustered.

“I need to-”

“I’ll just be gone for a second,” you interrupted. You felt a little bad for being so rude. You gave her a pressed smile. “I just want to say hi to some people, okay? Get some water.”

Amy’s cheeks were dusted pink, but she nodded and set her brush down. You stood up stretching out your arms and then wandered over to the barrier. A few of the people that had been staring at you the whole time started to squeal and bounce a little as you approached, waving pictures and pens in the air. Mina glanced at you.

“Oh, decided to join the party?” She asked you lightly. You shrugged.

“They stayed out here all night, might as well say hi,” you said softly. You turned to the fan in front of you and smiled at him softly.

“Hi,” you greeted. You took the picture from his hand and his pen. “What’s your name?”

The boy started to eagerly tell you his name and you nodded along, asking him how his night had been and what he was in town for. As you two spoke other fans started to join into the conversation. They came from all over the country, some just at the hopes of running into you and your costars. You recognized one of them, a smile crossed your face when you saw her.

“Hey, Sooyoon right?”

Sooyoon’s eyes lit up.

“You remember me?” She asked. You reached out your hand towards Sooyoon, pressing the palm of your hand to hers.

Of course, you remembered her. She had only been to one of your meet and greets but she was always in the crowd. She was tall, with long dark hair and the kindest eyes you had ever seen.

“What are you doing here? You haven’t been here all day, have you?”

Sooyoon shrugged.

“It’s so inspiring to watch you act,” Sooyoon replied. “I think I speak for all of us when I say it is worth the long hours.”

“Besides,” one of your fans… Minyoung added. “If you can do it, so can we.”

You laughed and reached for another photograph. At first it had been weird, when someone handed you a piece of paper and on it was a picture of you. The smiles on the pictures always felt so… Unreal to you. Most of the pictures you didn’t even remember taking anymore. You couldn’t place the outfit, or the scenery behind you. You had no clue what magazine it was that you were on the cover of-

“Can we get a picture together?” Sooyoon asked. “Just the group of us.”

You smiled and nodded.

“Of course, whose phone should I take it on?” You asked softly. Sooyoon handed you her phone and you raised it in the air. “Okay everyone, get in.”

You waited until you thought everyone was in frame and smiled, taking a few until you thought you had enough. As you turned to hand the phone back to Sooyoon something in the crowd caught your eye. There was a camera, not really that surprising, but this camera- this person was pretty far from the group of paparazzi that was taking pictures of the set and your costars. Your eyebrows furrowed briefly, and the camera lowered enough that you could see the soft wide eyes of the person who had been previously taking your picture.

It was that same photographer from the other day with Seokmin. You wondered idly why you had never noticed him before. Maybe he was new to all of this.

You tore your eyes away from him.

“I have to get back to my makeup artist Amy,” you said. There were soft protests, but you just brushed your hair back behind your ear. “It was really nice to talk to all of you.”

That was true. The best thing about being a celebrity was when you got to have these soft emotional moments with fans. You didn’t always remember all of their names, and sometimes their faces blurred together, but more often than not your interactions stayed with you.

In the middle of the night when you couldn’t get to sleep, you thought about things fans had said to you. Things they had confided in you and the way that smiles lit up their faces when they talked to you.

You made them happy. For whatever crazy reason the thought of you made people smile, and they made you happy too.

“Hey!” Amy rushed over to you, tugging your arm. “I have five minutes to finish touching you up. You nodded.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry Amy.”

-

“Come- Bopul just- Please-”

You rushed around Mingyu’s apartment, chasing after the little white fluff ball that was darting from room to room.

“Bopul, I just want-”

Bopul barked and skidded to a stop in front of Mingyu’s front door. You stopped too, your eyes wide.

“Okay, okay, good. Walk, huh? You want to go on a walk?”

Bopul cocked his little head to the side, his nose twitching. You sighed in relief.

“Okay, great, I’m just going to…” You slowly walked over to Bopul and as fast and precisely as you could you clipped the leash to Bopul’s collar. Bopul got excited again at the little click and started to run circles in front of you. Luckily you had a good grip on Bopul’s leash.

“Okay buddy, let’s go.”

You sent a quick text to Mingyu, telling him that you finally had Bopul secured and finally left his apartment. You let Bopul- despite his very small stature- pull you out onto the sidewalk. For the most part, people didn’t act like you were someone that they knew but as you stumbled forward you had this distinct feeling that you were being watched.

You ignored it at first. Generally, the feeling went away after a few minutes, but as Bopul bounded back and forth on the sidewalk, yanking at his leash the feeling stayed.

God, could you not even go on a walk without some stupid paparazzi-

You turned around and found the camera that was pointed at you. Your brows were furrowed, your lips were pressed thin, but then the camera lowered, and your facial expression softened.

You recognized that dark messy hair and those eyes.

You blew air out of your mouth and turned your attention to the other paparazzi that were standing there with him.

“Can’t I get some peace?” You asked them. The speaking was apparently an invitation for them all to come closer. All of them except for that one.

“Isn’t that Kim Mingyu’s dog?” One of them replied instead. “Does this mean you and Mingyu are dating?”

You rolled your eyes.

“No comment.”

That just made the paparazzi go crazier. They all crowded closer to you- not that Bopul even noticed. He was so excited to be out on a walk he didn’t care about the large group of people crowding closer. But despite the approaching group of paparazzi that one… He stayed put.

You sighed and let Bopul pull you away, the whole group following you close behind. You figured you would have to reach out to Mingyu soon and apologize for the strengthening of rumors that already existed but for now, you just needed to focus on Bopul.

-

You don’t particularly enjoy having to sneak around. Sure, you hated the paparazzi following you everywhere you went but you figured that having your picture taken was better then going out in long sleeve baggy clothing with a face mask on and all of your hair tucked beneath a hat. But sometimes you had to do just that.

You didn’t keep up with many of your friends from college, but you did try to keep up with a few of them. Renjun was one of those friends that you tried to meet at least once a month. He had become your friend when there had been absolutely no other tables to sit at in the library during finals week and despite you two having drastically different majors, he had stuck with you.

And you were probably infuriating to be around in college when you had done nothing else to do but force him to run scripts with you and complain about having to do a play as a final project when you were a film major.

So, if there was anyone that you would put up with a dumb disguise with it was undoubtedly going to be Renjun.

“Honestly I almost didn’t recognize you.”

Renjun playfully pushed down on your hat, and you batted his hand away rolling your eyes.

“Yeah, because this is the first time that I’ve met you dressed like this,” you replied. You got up to your feet and wrapped your arms around your friend. Renjun was a tall man- a few inches at least taller than you. He had a long dyed-brown mullet, and his shoulders were so wide that you felt tiny wrapped in his arms.

You pulled away and gestured towards the table.

“It’s refreshing to be meeting up with someone who isn’t late for once,” you said. “All of my famous friends are always late.”

Renjun laughed and took a seat from across the table from you.

“That’s what you get for leaving the real world,” he teased lightly. He picked up a menu and flipped through it.

“Let me guess, you want a slice of the cheesecake?”

“I-” You wanted to protest the statement but- “I feel like you’re teasing me, but cheesecake is a staple dessert.”

Renjun laughed.

“Well how has it been? You’re shooting a new show, right? Loves dagger?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Love is a Dagger,” you corrected. “Are you even really my friend if you don’t know what show I’m filming right now?”

Renjun wasn’t bothered by the statement he just rolled his eyes.

“You’re leads with Lee Seokmin, yeah? And you got lunch with him instead of meeting me two weeks ago,” Renjun observed. You shrugged.

“I’m sorry if you were me would you have really hung out with yourself instead of the Lee Seokmin?” You asked. Renjun stuck his tongue out at you. “But yeah, it’s been fun. I haven’t worked with Seokmin since we were b-sides in that other show I did-”

“One of my favorites you have been in by the way,” Renjun interrupted. “You and Seokmin just have the best chemistry, are you sure you don’t like him?”

“Do I have the time to like anyone?” You replied. “But what about you, how are you and Mei?”

Renjun smiled, his finger tapping lightly on the table.

“Oh, you know, she’s Mei.”

Despite his words it was clear to you that he wanted to say more. You leaned forward resting your chin in your hand.

“She’s Mei, huh?” You said teasingly.

Renjun rolled his eyes away from you.

“Is it wrong to ask my famous friend to perform at my wedding?” Renjun asked. You felt the corners of your lips spread uncharacteristically wide.

“No way, are you-”

“I haven’t asked yet!” Renjun interrupted. “But…”

He pulled a small box out from his pocket and set it on the table. You gasped sharply and pulled the box towards you, popping it open so that you could see his engagement ring. It was the most beautiful ring that you had ever seen. It was gold and small, with a diamond in the middle that looked like a flower.

“I can’t believe you are going to propose!” You gushed, a little too loudly. Your face flushed and you handed him back the ring, covering your mouth. “Mei is going to be so happy.”

“You think so?”

“Of course!” You gushed. “You and Mei have been together since I met you, if you two aren’t in love- I don’t know what love is.” Renjun smiled and pocketed the ring.

“Yeah, well you don’t know what love is,” he said teasingly. “When was your last relationship?”

“I used to have a ton of relationships,” you argued back. “They just…”

“Yeah, they weren’t Mei,” Renjun agreed.

A comfortable silence fell between the two of you as the waitress walked over to your table. You ducked your head to the side while Renjun told the lady what you two were ordering. Two slices of cheesecake and two cups of coffee.

When she walked away you made sure to look back up at him and smile coyly.

“Cheesecake,” you sang softly.

You and Renjun had a tendency of being able to talk for ages and time really did get away from you. With some of your other friends it was still really hard to feel normal but with Renjun… You felt like a broke college student all over again.

“Hey, I don’t know how you do it but there is a guy, and he is staring at you,” Renjun said suddenly. Your eyebrows furrowed.

“Really? Someone recognizes me?” You asked. Renjun shrugged.

“I guess, I don’t know, he’s been here as long as you have, and he looks over whenever he thinks I haven’t noticed.”

Renjun looked really bothered by it.

“He’s probably just a fan,” you said. You looked over your shoulder scanning the crowd. “Who-” You stopped before you could finish asking as you made eye contact with the person that was staring at you. His ears twitched a little when you two made eye contact and he dropped your eyes rather quickly.

“Oh, don’t worry about him,” you said. You turned away from him to face Renjun. You shrugged off his concern. “He’s just the paparazzi.”

Renjun squinted his eyes suspiciously.

“How do you know that? He doesn’t even have a camera on him.”

“He follows me around he must just be using his phone today.”

Renjun shook his head in disbelief.

“Only you would be so casual about someone stalking you.”

“Only every idol is casual about someone stalking them,” you corrected. “Just ignore him. He’s harmless.”

Renjun didn’t look convinced.

“Seriously it’s just one dude. It’s probably just a coincidence he ran into me here anyway. It’s just him, let’s not let him ruin our day.”

Renjun nodded slowly, peeling his eyes away from the person behind you in resignment.

“Okay, tell me, what it’s like being with Seokmin on set?”

-

The first time you were at a movie premiere you didn’t think that you would ever get used to it. The lights were blinding, you weren’t sure where to stop and who you were supposed to talk to. Everyone was constantly trying to talk to you.

Now, movie premieres were like a walk in the park. You felt like it was more natural to go to them then it was to go get coffee in the morning. At least when you were at a movie premiere you knew who to talk to and now that you were used to them, you pretty much knew everyone on the carpet.

When you had first started, all you could think was that everyone around you was famous and you didn’t deserve to be breathing the same air as them.

Nowadays it was like a high school prom. You knew practically everyone there even if you didn’t share classes together.

“Mingyu.”

A soft smile spread over your cheeks as you gave him a one-armed hug. Mingyu smiled at you, letting his hand ruffle the hair that your stylist had spent hours on.

“My publicist warned me not to say hello to you,” Mingyu said pleasantly. You two turned so that you were facing the group of people behind the roped of carpet and smiled as camera flashes lit your vision. “People are really starting to think that we are having a secret relationship.”

You snorted.

“I don’t know why everyone assumes that I would cheat on Seokmin… Haven’t we been together since we first started working together?”

Mingyu laughed.

“You jest but I have seen a few people saying that they think you are cheating on Seokmin.”

You rolled your eyes and turned to face Mingyu.

“If we were bothered by rumors we wouldn’t make it in this business,” you replied. He laughed again and nudged you so that you would turn around.

“What’s this premiere for?” He asked as you two slowly made your way down the carpet, nodding to other idols as you walked. You shrugged.

“Uh, IU’s newest movie,” you replied. You scrunched your eyebrows together uncertainly. “But I haven’t actually seen her.”

Mingyu laughed and gestured towards the crowd.

“I think that those people want to talk to you.”

You groaned as you looked at the group of reporters.

“Mingyu don’t make me talk to them,” you whined. “All they want to ask me about is my romantic life. I’m a serious professional! What does my romantic life matter in this career?”

Mingyu didn’t seem to be at all bothered by your resistance.

“It’s your job to talk to people who want to talk to you. I’ll see you in the movie.”

“You promise to save me a seat?” You asked. He nodded.

“Have fun telling them about our extremely intimate relationship.”

He lightly nudged you towards the reporters and you resisted the urge to look upset. Instead, you smiled, waving a little for the cameras as you approached. The closer you got the more frantic the reporters and paparazzi got. You looked in the crowd to see if there were even any fans that you could try to interact with, but everyone had either big cameras in their hands or microphones.

There were so many questions coming at you so loudly that you could barely keep track of them all in your head. You tried to be polite, you tried to answer what you could, but the noise was really getting to you. You glanced longingly to the side to where Mingyu was standing. Why had you left his side again? It had been so nice to be next to him. It was like you hadn’t had to think about anything.

“Are you and Mingyu dating?”

“What’s it like starring with Seokmin again?”

“What are you doing this week? Any dates lined up?”

You turned towards the group of paparazzi, trying to stay civil even though you were completely furious.

“I will not-” The words died in your mouth when you made eye contact with the last person that you expected to see at this event. Confusion made your eyebrows furrow, and your hands dropped to your side. “I will only be taking questions from one person.”

You pointed at the man that you had been seeing all week.

“You.”

He seemed surprised but he only let his camera dip just a little bit.

“What idol would you like to work with one day?” He asked. His voice was softer than the others around him, but everyone was so shocked that you had only let him talk that they were relatively quiet. You sighed in relief that the question had to do with something other than dating others.

“She’s kind of a classic but Jun Jihyun?” You sucked in a breath and shook your head with a smile on your face. “She’s so talented. If not work with her I want tips, I want to be half as talented as her.”

A smile flickered across the boy’s face.

“Thank you.”

He raised his camera, a silent question. You brushed your hair back and smiled. Camera flashes wildly went off and the reporters and paparazzi around you begun to bombard you with questions again. You waited until you thought that the man in question had gotten your picture and then you politely started to pull away from the group to move on to another person on the carpet giving a more formal interview.

You hoped that you weren’t on this carpet too long, you just wanted to sit between Kim Mingyu and Kim Sohyun and watch… Whatever movie that was premiering tonight.

-

You didn’t particularly like being the center of attention.

Sort of odd considering your choice in jobs. Even as a kid when the conversation had turned to you it had made you uncomfortable. You always tried to turn the topic away from you and instead have it focus on something else. You had become a master in getting out of the spotlight before you got your first lead in a show, and you took the world by storm.

Despite how unluckily it had been for you to become so popular in Korea you had. Despite how unorthodox it was for you to star in Kdramas you were. You were even being scouted for movies and shows with Hollywood over seas and now your business was the worlds business.

It felt strange having so many people looking at you all the time. You hated it when you would look out into a crowd, and everyone was staring at you.

“You should just stop hanging out with Kim Mingyu so much,” Sungmin suggested. “If you stopped being around him so much people would stop saying that you are cheating on Seokmin.”

“And I suppose I should stop hanging out with Seokmin while we’re at it,” you agreed. Sungmin nodded seriously, her fingers raising to play with her long wavy dark hair. You sighed a little as you watched her play with it. You wished your hair had as much volume as hers did. That being said you wished that you had half the sense of style that she had. Considering her blue jeans and her slightly see-through white button up, your sweater and slacks looked like garbage.

“I mean if you want the dating rumors to stop.”

“Then who am I supposed to hang out with?” You continued softly. Sungmin dipped her head in front of you, flashing you a toothy smile.

“Me of course!”

You rolled your eyes.

“They’ll just say that we’re dating,” you denied. Sungmin’s smile dropped, and she gave you a small pout.

“Just say you don’t want to hang out with me more.”

You laughed and went to say something else but stopped yourself when your eyes caught that of a camera just across the street. The camera lowered slightly, and you met the eyes of someone you were becoming quite familiar with. You hummed, nudging Sungmin so that she was facing the same way as you.

“Smile,” you encouraged softly. Sungmin raised a little peace sign, and you wrapped your arms around hers, your head almost bumping Sungmin’s as you turned your head to smile. After a few seconds you sent the paparazzi a wave and then turned to face the sidewalk again. Sungmin tugged your arm lightly so that you would look at her.

“What was that about?” She asked.

You shrugged.

“Just wanted it to be a good picture.”

And it was like everywhere you went there was somebody who wanted to take your picture. When you were out eating with Seokmin:

“Hey Seokmin look-” You pointed over at the familiar man with a camera, making Seokmin follow your gaze.

“Oh-”

“Smile like two friends who are just friends,” you said, crossing your legs and smiling at the camera. Seokmin followed suit, not letting the moment change the swing of the conversation.

It even happened when you were on your own, walking down the street, talking on the phone to your publicist and you glanced behind you to see that familiar set of hair and you rolled your eyes lightly, shooting him a smile. You didn’t wait to see his response, just turned as your publicist reminded you of a shoot you had to be that.

“I can’t believe this! I can’t believe I finally get to meet you!” Your fan gushed; a sunny smile spread over her lips. You smiled at her, taking the photo card from her hand.

“Honestly you lucked out, these days I’m hard to find,” you said pleasantly. “The only people who can find me-”

You happened to glance up over your fans shoulder.

“Oh- Do you want to be in a news article with me?” You asked softly. Your fans eyes widened, and she whipped around to see what you were looking at. The man you never could seem to shake’s eyes widened.

“Oh! Is he a part of the paparazzi?” Your fan asked excitedly. Her lips upturned into a wide smile. “Can I hug you?”

You smiled.

“Of course.”

Your fan smiled brightly and wrapped her arms around you, pressing the side of her face against your arm. You two smiled briefly, until a smile spread over the man’s lips, and he lowered his camera. You sighed and turned to look at your fan, patting her head gently.

“Okay, I’ve got to go,” you said. Your fan didn’t even try to argue. She just smiled.

“See you soon!”

-

“And what future projects are you thinking about partaking in?”

You hummed as you mulled over the question.

“I’m not sure. I love romances, but I’d like something that more has to do with my age. Just a young adult slice of life story that’s focused on friends,” you said. You shrugged. “I don’t know, at the end of the day I take the role that I get.”

You smiled and the reporter laughed.

“I suppose that’s true. Now tell me-”

She started to talk, and you truly didn’t mean to, but you stopped listening so closely. Your eyes wandered away from the interviewer, your attention falling to the crowd standing behind her. There were some fans, all looking excited to see you, taking pictures on their phones and then there was…

A large smile broke out over your face, and you instinctively rose your thumb and index finger to frame your chin, pouting your lips.

You saw your favorite photographer break out in a laugh as he took your picture, and for a moment you completely forgot where you were.

“Uh, what are you doing?”

Color creeped up your neck

“I-” You cleared your throat and pointed behind the reporter. “Paparazzi.”

The reporter gave you a weird look but slowly went back into the interview. You were determined to stay focused, but you took one last glance at him… He was laughing so hard his body was hunched over his camera.

-

You tapped your finger against the table impatiently, checking the time again. Why was Seokmin always late to these things?

You pulled out your phone and sent him a snarky text before looking across the room again. The only good thing about going out with Seokmin was that almost no one ever recognized you in this café. At least, if they did, they didn’t say anything or they were…

Your eyes fell on the member of the paparazzi that you couldn’t exactly seem to shake. The man that you didn’t even really want to shake. It was kind of nice to have someone who was practically always following you. The fact that it was the same person made impromptu photo shoots seem more personal.

You watched as he rested his head on his hand, scrolling through the pictures on his camera. His eyes drooped a little. He seemed tired.

You sighed as he rubbed his hand over his forehead and then readjusted the navy ball cap on his head.

You didn’t give yourself time to think about it.

You waved over a waitress.

“Hey,” you said. “Can I get a coffee- an iced americano.”

She nodded and began to write it down on her pad.

“And can you actually give it-” You gestured for her to lean closer and then slyly pointed over at the man fiddling with his camera. “Can you give it to that man over there? You don’t need to tell him it’s from me.”

The waitress nodded, murmuring something about how nice that was as she walked away. It was only a few minutes before she was delivering the drink to his table. You tried not to really look. You made a point to pull out your phone and scroll on it, but despite that when you glanced back over at him, he was looking at you.

His eyebrows rose in confusion, and he pointed at the drink. You shrugged and brushed your hair to the side. You decided not to look back over at him, instead you sat staring at your phone, waiting for a message from Seokmin.

“Excuse me-”

You looked up to see the waitress again, standing there with a cheesecake. Your eyes widened in surprise.

“I… This is for you.”

She hurriedly set the dessert down and rushed away before you could say more. You quickly looked back over but… He was making a point of looking at his camera.

“Hey-”

You looked up; your eyes still wide.

“You ordered without me.”

The pout on his lips was enough to momentarily distract you from your stress.

“Look it’s your own fault for coming so late.”

Seokmin sat down and you decided that Seokmin didn’t need to know the real reason for the cheesecake in front of you.

-

“I wish my fans would stop saying that they aren’t going to get married just to hold out for me,” Minghao said with a frustrated sigh. A smile teased your lips and you looked at him.

“What? That’s the dream right there,” you said. “Thousands of boys and girls at your beck and call, you can marry anyone that you please.”

Minghao grumbled.

“My fans aren’t objects, I wish they wouldn’t act so much like they are,” Minghao continued. “They should fall in love and get married and have kids. Not wait around for me.”

“You could be dissing your future significant other,” you said. “Maybe one of your fans is going to be the person you marry.”

Minghao nodded along with your words.

“Maybe,” he agreed. “But I’m not going to marry all of them. They can’t wait around when I can’t-”

He raised his hands to his hair, running them distractedly through his dark mullet.

“I can’t marry all of them.”

You knew he was being serious. You knew that he was seriously stressed about the way his fans were treating their love lives but still…

“Then are you really a good idol? I’m marrying all of my fans.”

You couldn’t help teasing him.

Minghao started to mumble something about you never being serious and as he did your eyes wandered past him to a guy who was walking just perpendicular to the two of you. You didn’t even have to look at his face. One glance at the camera in his hand and you knew who it was.

“Wait, wait hold that thought-”

You twisted Minghao around to face the man who didn’t even have his camera pointed at the two of you.

“Hey!”

He looked up at the two of you, looking slightly startled. You rose your fingers in front of your face and mimicked taking a photo.

“What are you-”

Before Minghao could finish speaking you smacked his shoulder.

“Smile for the paparazzi!”

You could feel the annoyance radiating off of Minghao but regardless a glance showed you that he was smiling. You two did a few poses for the paparazzi and then you started to walk again, Minghao following you.

“Okay, but seriously, I get it, that’s stressful,” you agreed. “But if they want to wait for you. If they really love you as much as they claim to then there isn’t really anything that you can do. If you think people are stubborn, then people in love are something else entirely.”

Minghao began to play with his hair idly.

“I guess.”

You two took a few steps in silence.

“You’re being weird with the paparazzi these days,” Minghao mumbled. “I see pictures of you posing for the camera all over the internet.”

You shrugged.

“Guess you just get used to them.”

-

You had been to a number of events before as an idol, but possibly your favorite ones to go to were the ones that were arranged by your friend Lia. You and Lia had gone to school together and when she first started planning events even before you were famous you got invited to everyone.

And you had spent 90% of them talking to Lia and watching as she went above and beyond to make the event run as smoothly as possible.

So, while you didn’t usually like to go to fashion show after parties, when Lia was throwing it you were sure to be there.

You were slightly annoyed that no one you were particularly close to was going to be at the event, but regardless you liked any chance you got to see Lia. She had been really busy to start. You didn’t get to talk to her much.

You noted idly that your favorite paparazzi was there.

You tried talking to a group of other actors, glancing over your shoulder every now and then to give him a lazily smile, but as you did, you noticed something that stood out to you.

You watched as Lia walked over to the man you had become so accustomed to, watching as he nodded a few times and asked her a question. You felt a weird feeling rising in your throat as you watched them interact so familiarly.

You noticed them start to turn towards you, so you turned your attention back to the conversation that you were barely paying attention to. You nodded to something that someone was saying and when you glanced back at Lia the man was gone.

You pressed your lips together and said something to the group as you made your way over to Lia.

“Hey Lia-”

“Hey, is everything okay?” Lia asked. You nodded distractedly.

“Yeah, yeah, just-” You gestured to the space that the photographer had been taking up. “Who was this?”

Lia looked at you briefly like you were crazy.

“Who was… There’s no one there.”

“No one here right now but just a minute ago!” You replied, brushing your hair back in an attempt to make you seem less crazy. “The paparazzi.”

A glimmer of recognition flickered across Lia’s face.

“Oh, you mean Lee Jihoon.”

You couldn’t help the way that you reacted to the knowledge of his name. The way your eyes widened, and your fingers briefly clenched. You smiled it off, hoping she didn’t think the reaction was weird in any way.

“Oh, Jihoon,” you said as if it didn’t really mean anything to you. “Cool, cool.”

Lia’s eyebrows furrowed further in confusion.

“Why do you want to know Jihoon’s name?”

You resisted the urge to curse aloud. Why did you want to know his name? All he did was follow idols to places and take pictures. You didn’t need to know his name.

You shrugged.

“I just see him a lot,” you wrote off. “You don’t need help with anything do you?”

Lia started to tell you how the event was going and as she spoke you took one more glance around the room.

Jihoon wasn’t there anymore.

-

As embarrassing as it was, seeing Jihoon had become something that you looked forward to everyday. You began looking for him in the crowd, making sure to get him lots of extra pictures with you and whoever was with you.

When he was late you made sure to make brief faces of annoyance when you finally did see him. You weren’t really sure if he actually knew why you did it, but he did always look a little embarrassed and somewhat apologetic.

But apparently your annoyance at him being late wasn’t enough for him to realize that now he was your personal paparazzi and the only person that you allowed to take your picture. Because when your show was filming at the park one day. Something that practically everyone in Seoul knew was happening, he wasn’t there.

And he wasn’t at the movie premiere you went to that night.

And the next day he didn’t show up outside of your photo shoot as you were leaving.

And you… You were not happy about it.

So, the next day when it was five in the morning and you were standing in a barely crowded café getting a coffee before your long shift, and you saw him. Practically nothing could keep you from saying something to him.

“You’re going to lose your job.”

Jihoon looked up at you, his eyes wide. His fingers tightened around his camera as his eyebrows furrowed uncertainly.

“What?”

If you hadn’t been so angry, maybe you would have taken a moment to note that you had not expected him to sound the way that he did. Only if you hadn’t been so angry.

“You didn’t shoot me at one of the biggest events of the year,” you replied back bluntly. That wasn’t true in any way shape or form but regardless of that you held your ground, crossing your arms across your chest. “Who was supposed to take pictures of me?”

“I was busy, I had-” He stopped himself as if he was suddenly wondering why he was explaining himself to you. “There are plenty of other people in the paparazzi who can take your picture.”

You rolled your eyes.

“They don’t do it well.”

Jihoon still seemed confused, so you just sighed.

“Do you want a coffee?” You asked.

He seemed even more taken aback.

“What?”

“I’m getting coffee, do you want some?” He just stared at you. “We have a really long day ahead of us.”

He shook his head.

“I’m good.”

You heard your name getting called from the counter… And you turned away from Jihoon.

“You better not miss anything today.”

He didn’t miss anything that day but the next day…

He missed another event.

The next time you saw him it was similar to the time before. Same café even. You stormed up to him.

“Let me hear it,” you demanded. Jihoon just stared at you with wide eyes.

“I-” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “My friend was there to take pictures-”

“He didn’t do a good job,” you insisted, but in reality, you had no clue who could have been the person he sent. “I don’t know why you thought sending someone else would make any difference.” Jihoon still looked confused. He tried to show you his camera.

“The pictures are just the same as mine would be. Look-”

You refused to look at them. Instead, you shoved your hand forward, palm open as you waited for him to do what you wanted. He just stared at your open hand.

“Do you want…” He trailed off and raised his camera cluelessly. You sighed heavily.

“Your phone.”

Jihoon only looked at you confused for a second. Then his phone was in your hand. You looked down at it.

“Unlocked,” you demanded. Jihoon quickly unlocked his phone for you. You wasted no time and instead quickly put your contact into his phone. You hummed as you handed him your phone back. “Fake fans don’t have me as their lock screen.”

“I never said I was a fan.”

You ignored that statement.

“Now you have my phone number,” you explained. “Go on. Call my phone.”

Jihoon stared at you blankly.

“Call me,” you repeated. He looked down at his phone, clicking a few buttons before finally your phone started to ring. You smiled as you answered it.

“I’m going to use this,” you said happily. You hung up the phone call and went about adding his number into your phone. After you had his contact saved you gave him a bright smile.

“Today’s going to be fun.”

Jihoon didn’t look any less confused.

It became a habit of yours to text Jihoon your plans for the day in the morning. You told him who you were meeting and where you were meeting and when you were meeting them. You texted him five minutes before the event if he wasn’t there yet. One time he was five minutes late and you called him because the absolute audacity of him to be late when he had known about this event for hours.

He answered immediately.

“I’m just- You need to calm down, I’m right in front of you-”

You had looked up and he was there, but he clearly had gotten dressed in a hurry. His hair was messy, and his shirt was backwards. You had covered your mouth as you held back laughter. The look had made a good picture with a headline describing how much you had enjoyed the event.

You had noticed that anytime a picture you knew Jihoon had taken showed up in the media it always painted you in a bright light.

Part of the reason you hated the paparazzi so much was because your pictures always ended up construed with the most ridiculous headlines. Ones about you dating Seokmin, or cheating with Mingyu, or being married to Minghao.

Basically, way too many about your supposed love life.

But when it was a picture that only Jihoon could have taken the uses were much more innocent. Just about how they caught you at an event or discussing a script with Seokmin or spoiling each others dramas with Mingyu or even just about the kind way you were treating your fans.

And Jihoon used a combination of the pictures that you posed for and a few candids where you weren’t looking at the camera. He always got your good side.

That being said, after a few weeks your activity began to wind down a bit, and thus you got bored.

Ridiculously bored.

Tomorrow you were going on a show, and you were going to have to cook some good bibimbap. While you weren’t terrible at cooking, you also weren’t the best. So, when you realized you needed someone to help you try the food that you were going to pretend to cook for the first time, the first person that came to mind was Jihoon.

You’ve got to come to this address quick, there’s an event going on that you need to photograph.

Jihoon: That seems like it’s a house.

Come quick!

When your doorbell rang you couldn’t help but smile. You threw open your front door shooting him a pose that fell almost as quickly as you made it.

“You didn’t bring your camera.”

“This was obviously not a real event,” Jihoon replied pointedly. “Aren’t you afraid I’m going to leak your address?”

You shook your head.

“I know you won’t. Come in.”

You stepped aside so that Jihoon could walk past you into your house. He sighed, seeming like he didn’t really want to but after only a few seconds he walked inside. You closed the door behind you two and then without a word you skipped to your kitchen.

“You came just in time I just finished-”

The sound of the fire alarm going off rang through your house as smoke poured out of the kitchen. Your eyes widened.

“Shit.”

You picked up speed as you ran into the kitchen looking at the pan that had a small fire in it. You bounced in spot as you tried to figure out what to do.

“That pan is on fire,” Jihoon said. “Do you need he-”

“I’ve got this under control,” you insisted. You rushed forward and grabbed the pan handle. You hissed as you pulled your hand back. It was hot.

“Hey don’t be stu-”

“I’ve got this,” you repeated grabbing an oven mitt. You grabbed the pot and rushed it into your sink, turning on the water and yelping as you jumped back. The fire just blazed brighter. “Uh-”

“Are you stupid?” Jihoon asked. You went to protest but you were distracted by Jihoon rummaging through your cabinets.

“What are you-”

You stopped when he pulled out your baking soda. You were even more confused but more stunned when he dumped the baking soda over the fire. You went to ask him again what he was doing but stopped yourself when the fire started to simmer down.

“Oh.”

“You never put out grease fire with water,” Jihoon berated. “You should know that. Who doesn’t know that?”

You stared at him, your face red from embarrassment and also heat. Jihoon sighed.

“Do you have ice? Your hand must hurt a lot,” Jihoon continued. You waved it off.

“No, it doesn’t hurt that-”

Before you could finish speaking Jihoon was in your freezer and grabbed a bag of frozen vegetables. You took it, pressing it against the burn on your hand.

“Go sit down,” Jihoon ordered. You pressed your lips together.

“But-”

“What were you making? Bibimbap?”

You nodded.

“Let me show you how it’s done.”

Jihoon was really good at cooking. As soon as he got the pot fire down and the fire alarm off, he told you to come back up and he began to show you slowly how to make each step.

He emphasized the importance of not leaving the food you were cooking unattended, and the amount at which he berated you made you feel like a scolded child.

To be fair you did know better than to leave food unattended. It was your own fault the fire had started, and you had tried to put it out the stupidest way possible. But you hadn’t really expected Jihoon to be so good at cooking.

He set the finished bowl of bibimbap in front of you, setting down the sauce that he had just taught you to make.

“Go on. Try it.”

You set your slightly melted bag of frozen vegetables and took a bite of the food. Your eyes widened comically.

“This is so good.” You looked up at him. “Why do you waste your time taking pictures of idols? You should have become a chef!”

Jihoon rolled his eyes as he sat across from you.

“Who is going to take your picture if it’s not me?” Jihoon asked, sarcasm dripping from his mouth. You huffed.

“It’s not my fault you do it best.”

You stopped talking to him for a minute to take another large bite of the bibimbap… And then another. Jihoon sighed.

“Aren’t celebrities supposed to take small bites?” He asked. “You’re getting food everywhere.”

“It’s just so good!”

-

“What are we going to do?” Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked at your friend Mina.

“What’s wrong?”

“The food,” Mina replied with a sigh. “The caterer cancelled last second, and now we don’t have anyone to cook for the party. Everyone’s expecting food what am I supposed to do?”

At first, you were stumped. You were going to tell her that surely everyone would understand if she couldn’t have food at the party, and even considered offering to cook yourself when suddenly you got an idea.

“I can find someone to replace the caterer.”

Mina looked at you with shining eyes.

“Really?” She blurted. “That would be amazing!” You nodded.

“I have just the person!”

“You seem to be confused about what to use my phone number for.”

You watched as Jihoon rolled his sleeves up, starting to put some meat in the pan that was on the stove.

“You can take pictures if you want to,” you replied pointedly. Jihoon looked at you with an annoyed expression on his face.

“I can’t cook and take your picture.”

A teasing smile made its way onto your lips.

“You’re at a party with how many famous people and you only want to take pictures of me?” You asked him. Jihoon stopped moving for a second. You could smell the aroma of the food as it began to cook on the stove. He looked over at you, still looking frustrated.

“Can you leave me alone I’m trying to concentrate.”

You rolled your eyes but did as he asked. You got bored after a while of just sitting and watching him cook so finally you walked over to him and peering over his shoulder.

“What are you making?”

Jihoon hummed.

“Fried chicken,” he replied. “You’re lucky I wasn’t doing anything.”

You shrugged.

“I knew you would come if I asked you to.”

“I’m not your own personal photographer,” Jihoon replied. “I have a life you know.”

You decided to ignore that.

“You came did you not?” You asked him. He didn’t respond so you just sighed.

“I’m bored,” you whined. “You’re being boring.”

Jihoon snorted.

“No one asked you to stay over here with me,” he stated. “Go back to the party with your friends.”

You didn’t move, and Jihoon just sighed.

“Tell me about your day then. I’m bored too, you might as well just entertain us both.”

It became pretty custom of you to spend time with Jihoon after a while. When you were waiting for Seokmin to come meet you for your weekly brunch you tended to just go to Jihoon and sit at the table with him and ask him how he had slept.

You learned quickly that Jihoon didn’t sleep much at night. In between working he had a lot of habits that he tried to keep up, along with keeping up with your busy schedule some nights he didn’t sleep at all.

You felt a little bad for him, but also it was his fault he chose to photograph you in the first place. He should have known what he was getting himself into.

“Hey Jihoon,” Seokmin greeted as he slid a chair up to the table. Jihoon gave Seokmin a welcoming smile.

“Hey, I can-”

“Why don’t you just join us? It’s awkward how you always sit tables away from us and pretend like you are going to take pictures of us,” Seokmin said pointedly. You hid a laugh behind your hand.

“I do take pictures of you two,” Jihoon argued.

“Right, maybe of….” He trailed off and gestured towards you. “But I never see my picture in the tabloid.”

“Aren’t you two worried I will leak rumors about how badly you treat others?” Jihoon asked with a grunt. “You’re so mean to me.”

All you did was laugh.

“Jihoon just take the invitation. Seokmin pays anyways.”

“No,” Seokmin argued. “You just haven’t paid me back.”

You and Seokmin began to bicker lightly and while Jihoon looked like he wanted to leave, you noted that he stayed with the two of you anyways.

The more time that you spent getting to know Jihoon the more you wondered what his life was like when he wasn’t following you around. Eventually that curiosity became overwhelming.

I don’t have any events at all tomorrow.

Jihoon: Oh okay.

What are you doing tomorrow?

Jihoon: Probably see my friends for once.

Let me come.

Jihoon: No

Please! Jihoon: I said no.

“Thanks for inviting me out!” You said as you pulled your hat a little further down your head. Jihoon rolled his eyes.

“What am I supposed to tell my friends? Are they even allowed to know that you’re a celebrity?”

You shrugged.

“They’re your friends so I doubt they’ll tell anyone.”

“You are so annoying. Has anyone ever told you that?” Jihoon asked. “You can’t always get what you want.”

You looked at him innocently.

“You always give me what I want.”

Jihoon looked annoyed but he didn’t respond.

“Here your face mask…” He trailed off and reached to readjust your face mask. He looked at you for a second when his fingers brushed your cheek. He cleared his throat and looked away from you. “You’re meeting my friends Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Joshua, and Chan.”

You repeated their names to yourself a few times.

“I’ve never heard of them before.”

“Of course, you haven’t heard of them before,” Jihoon said with a scoff. “They aren’t famous. They’re just my friends.”

You shrugged off his annoyance.

“I would have thought you would have mentioned them at some point, that’s all.”

Jihoon pulled out his phone beginning to type on his screen. You leaned towards him to look at his phone screen but as you moved so did Jihoon. He shot you another annoyed look.

“Why are you trying to look at my messages?”

You pouted.

“I would show you my messages,” you whined softly. He rolled his eyes but moved his phone back towards you anyways. You watched as he sent a text to Seungcheol asking where they wanted to meet and that he had…

A smile began to grow on your face.

“A friend huh?” You asked, your tone going back to a teasing one. Jihoon avoided looking at you, but you noticed a pink hue making its way to his face. “You’re just bringing a friend.”

“What are we if not friends?” Jihoon asked defensively.

“No, you’re right,” you cooed. “We’re friends. Just didn’t think that you had the guts to say it.”

Jihoon’s face was still pink.

“Follow me this way, okay?”

You jogged to keep up with him and his suddenly fast pace. To avoid falling out of step with him you wrapped your arm around his. He didn’t protest the action, and instead pulled so that instead of interlocked arms you two had interjoined fingers.

You were so focused on keeping up with his strong pace that when he finally came to a stop you stumbled into him.

“Jihoon! Hey, over here!”

You looked up past Jihoon’s shoulder at the people standing just a little bit away from him. There were four boys standing in front of the two of you. You looked at Jihoon with wide eyes. So, he pointed to each of the boys in turn.

“That’s Seungcheol, Jeonghan, Joshua, and that-” He pointed to the last boy. The only one of the four with colored hair. “That’s Chan.”

Before Jihoon could say another word, you waved eagerly at them.

“Hi! Nice to meet you!”

You rushed over to them, held back only by Jihoon who just stopped you a few feet away from the group of boys. They all seemed a little confused when they saw you, and Jihoon was clearly embarrassed.

“Hey guys this is my friend…”

You smiled proudly waiting for Jihoon to introduce you.

“Uh… What’s their name?”

Jihoon laughed nervously.

“Oh, it’s-”

You dramatically shoved your arm in front of him.

“I hardly need an introduction,” you announced loudly. Before any of them could ask what you meant by that you lowered your mask and raised your hat a little bit. The four boys gasped.

“Holy shit-” You fixed your disguise by on your face.

“Just wanted to meet my stalkers friends!”

It was maybe a little impulsive to announce yourself to Jihoon’s friends, especially when he himself had been hesitant to reveal who you were to them. That should have been a sign after all, a clue that maybe they weren’t that trustworthy.

They… Were actually very trustworthy as it turned out and after the initial shock of meeting you and what are you doing hanging out with our friend Jihoon? They began to treat you as if you were just another person.

You couldn’t express enough how rare it was to be treated like you were normal around people who weren’t idols themselves. People just couldn’t get passed the fact that they watched you every week on television at seven on Thursdays. But Jihoon’s friends. They treated you like you had been friends with them since you were all kids.

“You don’t know your own favorite television show?” Joshua asked with a laugh. You nodded.

“Look I just- Why do I have to remember all of that stuff? One google search and-”

“Hello, My Twenties!” Seungcheol offered up, looking up from his phone.

“See! I don’t have to remember names. My fanbase has it!”

Chan bent over himself, his body bouncing as he laughed.

“Come on,” you insisted. “You can’t tell me you don’t have things like that.”

“Most of us can’t google things about ourselves we are too lazy to remember!” Chan blurted. “It’s like you missed the point in life where you learned basic social interaction skills.”

“Probably missed it because you were too busy sucking face with Lee Seokmin.”

“Jeonghan-” Jihoon blurted. Before he could berate his friend further however you began to laugh too. Jihoon looked at you with wide eyes. “Are you not offended?”

You tried to calm yourself down, but your body was bouncing from laughter.

“Well, can someone google if I should be offended in this situation?”

Jihoon seemed stressed most of the time that you hung out with his friends, but not stressed because you weren’t acting comfortable with each other. Stressed because you were all too comfortable with each other.

He had to pull you aside multiple times when you forgot that you all were in fact in public, and there were people around you who you would prefer didn’t recognize who you were but after a while, even Jihoon got comfortable.

You stood on top of the table, wobbling a little as you took a steady step forward. You were bored, there was no other explanation to your behavior. Seungcheol and Chan had gone to scope out a restaurant where all of you could have some privacy, and Jeonghan and Joshua were stuck in a long conversation.

You turned and as you did you noticed that Jihoon was just a few feet from you, taking a picture.

“Did you get my good side?” You asked softly, dropping a dramatic pose.

“I’m not going to sell these,” Jihoon said, his face deadly serious.

“I didn’t ask that.”

“Just wanted you to know, these are for me.”

You stared at Jihoon for a few moments completely silent then you climbed down from the table and took his phone from his hands. You turned the camera to him and took a few pictures. He smiled, but he was clearly somewhat embarrassed.

“Then these are for me,” you said. You handed him his phone back and as you did his fingers brushed against his. You two stared at each other silently. “Uh… You’ll send those to me, right?”

A smile flickered across Jihoon’s lips.

“Yeah, I’ll send it to you.”

-

“Here we go.”

You sat up from where you were lounging on your couch holding your hands out as Jihoon placed a bowl into them. You smiled like a kid and pulled the bowl of soup towards you.

“Thank you,” you sang. A chuckle left Jihoon’s mouth as he took a seat next to you.

“Did you even eat before you met me?” Jihoon asked you. You shrugged as you took a large bite.

“I used to pay someone,” you replied.

“What happened to them?” He prodded.

“I have you now.”

Before Jihoon could protest the fact that you were not paying him to cook you clicked on the television.

“What do you want to watch?” You asked him. He grunted softly.

“Uh, what about…” He watched as you scrolled through the show options and jumped.

“Let’s watch Love Blossoms!”

A groan left your mouth.

“Not one I’ve been in,” you whined. “Beside Love Blossoms was so cringey.”

“What’s cringey about a student who falls over themselves whenever their crush is around?” He asked, a teasing smile spread across his lips.

“You know it’s bad!” You announced.

“Come on, let’s watch it! I love to watch your legs literally shake when you are looking at the main love interest,” he insisted. You groaned loudly, hiding your face behind your hands.

“If I could go back in time and not accept a role-”

Before you could finish talking Jihoon had stolen the remote out of your hand and the opening music to the show had started. However embarrassed you were you couldn’t help but replicate the awkward poses that you were making on the screen in the intro.

Jihoon laughed.

“Here I thought you were better but you’re just as cringey as you were back then.”

You pushed Jihoon in annoyance.

“Shut up, you think I’m cute.”

And when you both woke up a few hours later, both of your alarms blaring and you were so entangled in each other that you both snoozed for way longer then you two should have, it wasn’t a surprise. In fact, it had become a pattern of the two of you on nights when he ended up staying the night for you two to rushedly get dressed together, throwing insults at each other for being dumb enough not to get up sooner.

And if Seokmin thought it was odd when you were late for once, he didn’t say so.

“Hey! Wait up!”

You turned around to see your one of your co-star’s Cha Eunwoo rushing up to you. You dipped your head in greeting.

“Oh hey!” You greeted back. “What’s up? I thought you had a few more scenes to shoot today?”

“Oh, I do, I just wanted to ask you something first.”

You nodded, waiting for him to respond. He swallowed hard, his eyes darting away from you.

“Well, I was just wondering... If you aren’t doing anything tomorrow, we do have the day off so maybe…” He risked a look back up at you. “You would want to go get food with me.”

You were surprised by the question.

“Oh, as frie-”

“On a date,” Eunwoo clarified.

You laughed as if it was a joke.

“Aren’t you worried that Seokmin will get mad?” You jested. Eunwoo just stared at you with a blank expression on his face.

“You and Seokmin dating is just rumors,” he said bluntly. “I don’t want us to be rumor. I really like you and I want to get to know you better.”

You weren’t really sure what to say. It wasn’t liked you had never been asked out before. It wouldn’t be the first time that you went on a date with a costar. You didn’t mind dating people; Even if it didn’t end up taking you very far.

It would be uncharacteristic of you to say no.

But even so… Your thoughts turned to Jihoon.

You wanted to say no.

“Tomorrow?” You asked him, pretending to ponder it. “I… I suppose I have the time.”

Eunwoo’s face lit up in delight.

“Great! I’ll see you then!”

You weren’t really sure what it was but something about this date wasn’t sitting right with you. As you got ready, and you did your makeup all that you could think about was how badly you didn’t want to go.

You tried to convince yourself that it was because you didn’t want to get caught. You hid your hair beneath your hat and chose a pair of sunglasses and a face mask to help hide your identity. You wore clothes in the back of your closet that you couldn’t find any pictures of yourself ever wearing, you even borrowed a bag from your friend so it wouldn’t be similar.

But even still, something just wasn’t sitting right with you.

You glanced at your phone.

Normally this was the point where you would text Jihoon and tell him where you were going.

You picked up your phone sucking in a sharp breath.

Nothing going on today :) See you tomorrow bright and early! Tell the boys I say hi.

You stared at the words.

Why were you lying?

Before you could think it over anymore you sent it, you thought maybe the more time that passed between when you sent the text and when you met up with Eunwoo the better you would feel.

“Hi, sorry I’m late.”

Eunwoo looked up at you, a smile on his lips.

“No that’s okay.”

He tapped his hat.

“Nice disguise. You’re unrecognizable.”

The statement didn’t calm you down. You sat down with him and offered him a smile.

“This place is really nice. I’ve never been here before.”

“It’s not very popular with non-idols,” Eunwoo explained. “And the staff is very private. It’s popular for other idols to bring dates here.”

You nodded, and picked up the menu in front of you.

“What’s good?”

The conversation between you and Eunwoo came easy, that wasn’t really surprising to you. Part of the reason why it would have been so unreasonable for you to say no to Eunwoo’s request was because you two did get along well. And if someone had asked you a few weeks ago you would have said that you were completely down to go on a date with him.

But now… Why did your thoughts keep turning to Jihoon?

You were so nervous. Every time Eunwoo spoke you thought about Jihoon. You kept glancing around expecting to see him there. You were wondering what he was doing, if he was suspicious of the fact that you weren’t doing anything that day.

“Hey, you seem like your head is somewhere else.”

An apologetic smile spread over your lips.

“Sorry, I just…” You trailed off, trying to figure out what to say to him, but he didn’t wait for an excuse.

“You’re secretly dating someone else… Aren’t you?”

Your eyes widened.

“What? No-”

“It’s okay,” Eunwoo said with a soft laugh. “I can tell. You keep thinking about them.”

You weren’t sure what to say or how to argue his statement.

“It really isn’t like that,” you assured. “I’m not dating anyone. I mean I have been thinking about someone but it’s-”

“Oh, you haven’t realized you like them yet.”

Eunwoo’s words should have meant nothing to you but instead they reverberated through your soul.

Suddenly, everything made sense. The reason why you invited him everywhere with you, and why you were so mad when he missed an event.

How long would it have taken you to realize that you liked him if Eunwoo hadn’t said anything in the first place?

“I…” You trailed off. “I thought…”

You didn’t even know what you had been thinking before. Why would it matter if Jihoon knew you were going on this date? It would have been better if he had come, his pictures always spun you in a positive light.

“It’s really fine. I appreciate you coming out with me. Just… You should tell that person how you feel tonight.”

Confusion crossed your face.

“Why?”

He gestured behind you.

“We were followed.”

-

“Look, I can explain,” you said. You hadn’t seen Jihoon in twelve hours, and they had been the scariest twelve hours of your life. You hadn’t even been sure he would show up today. You had sort of thought he wouldn’t ever want to see you again.

“What’s there to explain?” Jihoon asked. “You just went on a date”

He wasn’t even looking at you. You felt your frustration rising.

“I didn’t really want to go on the date,” you replied pointedly. You tried to catch his eyes but again he moved away.

“Why are you telling me?” He asked you. Finally, his eyes rose to yours and for just a minute you two stared at one another.

“Are we really going to do this?”

“What?”

“Pretend like we don’t like each other.”

Jihoon didn’t look away and the way that he stood, completely frozen, for just a moment made you think that he hadn’t even heard you but then a soft shade of pink spread over his cheeks, and you realized that he had heard you just fine.

You scoffed and looked away from him.

“Call me when you get your head on straight.”

You weren’t sure where your confidence had come from. Twenty-four hours ago, you hadn’t even realized that you liked Jihoon. Now you were confident that he liked you too and you were mad that he was pretending like he didn’t.

“You and Jihoon fighting?”

You groaned loudly, dropping your head on the table in front of you.

“Shut up, we aren’t fighting.”

“He’s not here,” Seokmin replied pointedly.

“He has a life!” You protested. “He can’t be everywhere that I am.”

You didn’t look back up at Seokmin so he held the silence for a little bit.

“I’ve never seen you so worked up over someone before.”

You lifted your head to glare at Seokmin.

“I’m not worked up!”

Seokmin raised an eyebrow skeptically.

“You know couples fight all the time. Jihoon will come back over to you.”

“We aren’t a couple, just shut up, won’t you?”

Seokmin smiled knowingly and shrugged off your aggression.

“Okay, okay, let’s talk script.”

Life without Jihoon was hell and not because of the fact that he wasn’t around. His actual absence wasn’t that different from him actually being there. You only didn’t really hang out with him a little bit more than you usually would but even so you were just angry.

All the time, for no reason you were just angry.

You felt bad, you really did but your temper was so short. You didn’t want to get your makeup touched up; it just irritated your skin. You kept forgetting your lines, literally nothing would stick.

You were annoyed when you had to talk to fans (even though it didn’t show) and you complained to your manager over the phone at all the shows you had booked and everytime you saw someone with a camera pointed at you, you wanted to scream.

“You really let him get to you huh?” Minghao asked. You shot him a glare.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Don’t come over, I’m sick,” Minghao mimicked. You sharpened your look. “Seriously, you look fine. You never miss out on a hang out with me.”

“So?” You demanded. “I can not want to hang out with you every once in a while, you aren’t the most amazing person on the planet Minghao, the world doesn’t revolve around-”

Before you could even finish took you had your eyes pinched clothes and your hand in the air.

“Sorry, sorry,” you apologized. “I don’t mean that I’m just- Ugh, I’m just so angry and I don’t even know why.”

That was a bold faced lie, you knew exactly why you were angry. You were angry because you hadn’t heard from Jihoon since you told him to figure things out. How long did it take someone to admit they liked someone else? It wasn’t like your feelings came out of nowhere. It wasn’t like you hadn’t practically already been dating. Sure, maybe he was riding off of the waves of you going on a date with someone else.

By all technical means you were the one who messed up first. You broke an unspoken rule that you knew that you were breaking by agreeing to go on that date with Eunwoo (even if at the time you hadn’t really understood what the rule was).

He just- he should have figured it out by now! He wasn’t working, you hadn’t seem him since the incident. He had so much time to just sit and think about what had happened. Work out his feelings. Come to one of your events and catch your gaze when you least expected it. Give you a small smile and offer to take your picture and then you two could just go back to the way things used to be knowing that now you were…

But what if that never happened?

“You know you don’t have to keep it all to yourself,” Minghao prodded lightly.

You did have to keep it all to yourself though. He didn’t get it.

You had gone your whole life indifferent on this whole relationship thing. You never were desperate for a relationship. You never had crushes our felt any extreme feelings for anyone past friendship.

And yet when you thought about Jihoon never showing up at your door again, your heart felt like it was made of cement.

“It’s really nothing,” you responded. “It’ll pass.”

When you said that you hadn’t really meant it at all. You didn’t really feel optimistic that you would see Jihoon again. A few days felt like years, and you figured that he had decided you weren’t someone he needed in life.

But to your surprise when you walked up to your house late that night you found yourself staring at no one other than Lee Jihoon, sitting at your doorstep.

“Hey,” he said.

You stared at Jihoon and it was like nothing had changed, like no time had passed, like you two had never fought at all. That weight on your shoulders was gone. You felt like a feather.

“Hi,” you murmured. You stared at him, unsure of what to feel. You thought you would have yelled at him for taking so long, but the words just died on your tongue.

“Can I…” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “Can I come in?”

You nodded and began to fumble with your keys.

“Yeah, please.”

He walked into your place and you followed him, locking the door behind the two of you.

“What’d you eat today?” You sighed.

“Jihoon what do you want?” You asked him.

“I’m sorry, okay?” He said. “I know I’m stupid. I didn’t want you on that stupid date because I thought…”

He sighed and looked to the floor.

“It’s hard with you being who you are to know if you really like me that’s all.”

“I basically admitted it,” you replied. He looked up at you and you could hear his thoughts as if they were a reflection of your own.

Basically, hadn’t been enough.

You reached out your hand to Jihoon.

“Hey, this might sound really dumb, but I really like you,” you said softly, a ghost of a smile crossing your lips. Jihoon took your hand, but a confused look crossed his own face.

“I thought we were pretending not to like each other.”

A laugh left your lips and you smacked Jihoon’s arm. He laughed too.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I like you too you know.”

“I don’t want you to date other people,” you added, the smile on your face dimming a bit.

“I don’t want you to date other people either,” he agreed. You pulled his hand so that he grew a little closer to you.

“Good, so we agree. No dating other people,” you said. You pretended to contemplate that. “Well, if we don’t date other people, we aren’t dating at all.”

“Yeah, that would suck,” Jihoon agreed, pretending to be really troubled by what you two were discussing. “I guess- I mean if we wanted to date but not other people, we could just date each other.”

You blew air out of your mouth.

“Yeah, I mean that seems like the only logical way to go,” you agreed. As you two spoke you two closed the difference between one another, moving until there wasn’t anywhere else to go.

“And if we’re dating, I guess… I mean we would have to kiss.”

“Since we’re dating,” Jihoon agreed. “We have to.”

Before either of you could say more you two closed the distance between one another. You two pressed impossibly close to one another, your hand rose to Jihoon’s hair and he held you as tightly as he good as you two explored each other’s mouths for the first time. You two kissed each other like you were air that you two needed to breath, and when finally you two pulled away you were both gasping, unable to pull away any further from each other then physically necessary.

“Are we going to tell anyone?” Jihoon asked. You shook your head.

“We shouldn’t.”

He nodded.

“You’re right, we shouldn’t.”

You looked down at your watch, feeling yourself growing more and more impatient as you looked into the crowd. This stupid red carpet event had started twenty minutes ago and he still wasn’t here.

“Looking for your boyfriend?”

You looked over at Seokmin a glare ghosting your face.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you replied pointedly. “How many times do I have to tell you he isn’t my boyfriend.”

“It doesn’t really matter how much you say it,” Minghao pointed out. “We all know you two are dating.”

You rolled your eyes.

“As if I would actually cheat on Seokmin.”

“You cheat on Seokmin with me like every week,” Mingyu tacked on. You groaned and raised your hand to your hair, brushing it out of your face.

“You are all idiots.”

“And that’s why you’re dating Jihoon and not us. Simple.”

You turned to Minghao, fully intending to yell at him, but before you could do so, he smiled sweetly and pointed behind you.

“Smile.”

You turned around, your whole body relaxing when you saw Jihoon standing in the crowd. His hair was brushed back, and he was in a button-up and nice pants. A good outfit considering you two were going on a date after the event.

You smiled and reached blindly to pull the guys around you closer to you.

“Oh! Yeah, smile!” You said eagerly. All three of the men did as you asked, and you all posed for Jihoon for a few seconds.

“Funny how the sight of your not-a-boyfriend friend turns that frown into a smile.”

You shrugged.

“What can I say? He’s the paparazzi.”

They all groaned.

“You hate the paparazzi.”

“I don’t hate Jihoon.”

And no matter how much you and Jihoon denied dating your close friends all knew that you were. So, years later, when it finally did came out. No one was really surprised.

And you and Jihoon were as happy as you could manage to be.

#I'm moving this weekend so don't mind if I'm not very responsive #Seventeen #Seventeen Fanfiction #Seventeen Fanfic #Seventeen Woozi #Seventeen Lee Jihoon #Woozi Fanfic #Woozi Fanfiction #Woozi #Jihoon Fanfic #Jihoon Fanfiction #Jihoon #Lee Jihoon #Kpop Fanfiction #Kpop Fanfic

[junko222]

TYBW Anime Ep. 3 vs the manga - SPOILERS

Bleach Twitter has been talking a lot about the pacing of the anime as opposed to the manga and the things that are being skipped.

Even though no one has asked for it, I want to lay out my own opinions on the matter in a forum that isn't limited to however many characters.

If you haven't read the manga, you might want to ignore this post. I intend to talk about spoilers for the end.

So one of the things that happens in both the anime and the manga in this section/episode is that Kubo-sensei lays out his THEME for this entire arc.

As the very groovy Aizen look-alike explains, the answer to the question "Are we on the side of justice?" is very clearly: "No." This will likely end in subjugation--one side will dominate the other, by brute force, not because it's just or right

Later on the same page/in the same scene, prayer bead wearing Aizen look-alike explains that wars only happen because both sides are right (and by implication also both wrong.)

Thus, what bothers me about the missing scenes, namely the lieutenant's meeting, is that one of the things that's revealed there is that Shinigami killed civilians to maintain the "Balance."

In the anime, Mayuri explains it to Yamamoto, but we don't see the evidence laid out in the same way--and that takes some power away. This is kind of a moment that could be read with a certain amount of horror because these civilians were not only unarmed, but also BAREFOOT. These were the poorest of the poor and an armed garrison of trained Shinigami literally rounded them up and slaughtered them on the orders of a 12th Division captain who has the authority to do so without the express permission of the Captain-Commander.

This is a moment.

A big one.

It's a moment where we see the cracks in the foundation of the Soul Society as "good guys." (Arguments can be made that they showed these cracks earlier, but this is the first time Kubo-sensei is being this blatant with his dystopia. He sets out the lieutenant's meeting and then literally allows a character to say, "hey, if we did genocide before, are we the good guys??" and have the answer be explicitly, "mmm, no, not really, but neither are the Quincy.")

So, I was excited when we seem to start to get more Ishida (younger and elder) on screen in the anime. I was very hopeful that we might see some of the Quincy side of the story, which was very much missing from the manga. Like, as the manga readers know, Ishida (younger) appears to join this side and one presumes there is a compelling reason for that, though we only know vagaries about what happened 200 years ago when the Quincy failed to meet the Shinigami demands and the Shinigami wiped them out almost to a man.

This is not being hit very hard in the anime.

More time was spent in the anime watching Juha Bach/Yhwach being a creep to his underlings which just makes the Quincy seem as insane as their master/king. Likewise, we got almost every blow by blow of Ichigo's fight with Nazi-haircut Quincy, which again, only serves to make the Quincy seem insane rather than justified in their anguish... which really they should be. (See Mayuri and Ishida fight in the rescue arc, where Mayuri explicitly states that he's not interested in this so-called last Quincy because he's already had his fill of torturing them and extracting information about them due to this last war.)

I'm glad they gave Ishida more screen time, but most of it was useless. Like, honestly, a flashback to the Mayuri fight would have been more powerful, IMHO, and requires no extra writing/drawing. Ishida's hunting for information about the Quincy's past and then us, the viewers, only getting the voice over of the exact same information that groovy Aizen-look-alike gives didn't feel worth the animation hours. Perhaps, you're thinking, but, Junko, they can't just make stuff up! Yeah, they can. Kubo-sensei is consulting, That means they're paying to put his name on the screen, as having approved of this whole thing. They could have asked him to write three sentences for Ishida to have read that fit whatever his vision is for the Quincy side of the story.

And again, I wouldn't harp on this, but this is literally the episode that SETS UP THE ENDING. Like it or not, Kubo-sensei told us he was going to end on a downbeat, with the Quincy subjugated and destroyed and no sense of justice. It's right here. IN THIS EPISODE. We should see the horror on the faces of the Shinigami who are suddenly made aware that they are complicit in not only genocide of the their hated enemy the Quincies, but also of the people they ostensibly protect in the Rukongai.

THAT would underscore the idea that there is no justice in war. Both sides has war crimes to answer for. We've seen Juha being crazy, we need to see the dark underbelly of the Soul Society.

And let me be clear. Kubo did not do this perfectly in the manga. Anyone who knows me knows that I had a LOT of problems with how this arc played out in the end. I had been hoping, however, that the anime could have been an opportunity to condense some of the endless fight scenes and give this story the backbone that Kubo laid down, but never built up.

Alas.

Also, am sad we never got grumpy (or thinking face??) Renji at Sasakibe's funeral.

Also, they skipped on the usual Kubo signature post-death scene where we learn about Sasakibe, his fierce loyalty to Yamamoto, and how he used bankai for the first time in battle only to die.

So, if you love Bleach for these kinds of character moments, the anime seems to be skipping them in favor of the protracted battle scenes, which... I mean, I love fighting anime? I would be lying if I said I wouldn't be happy with an entire 52 episode run of Ichigo just yelling "bankai" and "Getsuga Tensho" over and over!! So, I mean, I don't HATE the anime by any stretch. I'm just a fan fic writer who loves Kubo-sensei for his liminal spaces, his in-between moments.

And so far the anime is light on those.

I'm still deeply pleased to see it happening at all, however.

#Bleach #anime #anime vs manga #manga #tybw spoilers #bleach tybw #tybw arc #spoilers