#there's a lot of potential and opportunity there and i completely agree with the decision to take advantage of that (finally)!

[neptuneiris]

Behind the Scenes (03/05)

Behind the Negotiation

pairing: actor!aemond × fem!reader

summary: knowing that you can't run away from your past forever, you receive unexpected visitors in your home that make you fear for your son's future.

word counter: 8.9k

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warnings: angst, arguments, language,mention of abortion.

guys, I'm sorry for the delay, with this chapter a lot of unexpected things came across my way, but I've finally finished it and I'm satisfied with the result, although I'm not sure if you will like it, it might bore you but I don't know, please let me know :)

without more to say, enjoy it and thanks for all the support, really! let me know your comments too, I'll be waiting for them!

You still remember it all too well.

You remember how you accepted Aemond's terms, the terms of his agent Criston and also of his entire team.

You agreed to keep the existence of your child a secret, to hide in the shadows with him and to keep a low profile until it was "safe" for Aemond's career to publicly and legally acknowledge the baby.

But you only accepted to take that worry off everyone's mind and especially his, so you could run away. Although the reality is that you were scared.

At first, Aemond's power, influence and connections kept you paralyzed, thinking about the consequences of breaking all ties with him.

And running away from him, disappearing from his life along with your son was a decision you had to make carefully and then had to live with in fear and dread of being found someday.

And the fear of possible legal reprisals for your escape and uncertainty about the consequences were present at every turn. But you did everything to live in freedom, not to destroy Aemond's career and to protect your son from all public exposure.

You always knew that Aemond with his celebrity status possesses power, not only in the entertainment industry, but also in the media and social sphere, that was obvious, just like any other celebrity.

So finding you could be as easy as snapping his fingers.

So to prevent Aemond from tracking your movements so he could find you, you began by discarding any means of transportation that could be easily monitored or tracked.

You avoided airports and bus terminals, opting instead for small train stations and local buses, always paying with cash. You left King's Landing and the entire state, going all the way to the Iron Islands.

In Pike, with the money you had left over, you were able to rent a room to yourself in a cheap hotel, then quickly began to look around for a job in the surrounding area in search of an opportunity that could provide you with support and stability.

You knew you couldn't get a job like the one you had before, on a recording set with a big salary. So downtown, you found a job at a beauty salon.

Not only does she own a beauty salon, she also owns a few small apartments in the city and offered you one of them at a lower price, considering you were just starting out with a new job.

The owner of the place, Becca Waters, a kind and understanding woman, saw potential and also the need in you.

Knowing your condition and that you practically came to live in a place where you knew nothing and no one, she also offered you a place to live and be safe.

Mrs. Waters became a fundamental support for you, providing guidance, encouragement, flexibility and stability in your financial need and also in your pregnancy.

With her you felt completely safe and supported at a time when you needed it most. After all you had gone through to get here, leaving your life behind and pregnant, she was your reward.

But still nothing was easy after that.

Your pregnancy process was a roller coaster of emotions, challenges and moments. Facing motherhood as a single mom was an overwhelming reality.

On the one hand, even though the baby was unplanned, you were excited to know that you would soon be holding him in your arms, but on the other hand, you also felt fear and anxiety at the responsibility of raising a child alone with no knowledge of anything really.

The first few months of pregnancy were especially difficult.

You experienced pain, symptoms and discomforts that you had no idea about and had to endure, as well as a slight state of depression and anxiety about dealing with all of this on your own.

But through it all, Becca was your pillar of support at all times, who became your confidant, giving you comfort and encouragement in difficult times. And she was the one who helped you throughout your pregnancy and also the one who was by your side when you gave birth to your child.

And even though you didn't want to, being in a very vulnerable state, you couldn't help but feel lonely and miss Aemond, just as you missed everything you once used to be.

But remembering everything that happened the last time you saw him, even though the feeling disappeared, you also couldn't help but start crying.

And to protect yourself emotionally, you decided to stay away from news about Aemond.

You avoided social media and any content that could remind you of your past with him. Your determination was great to be able to raise your child alone, without relying on Aemond's presence or acknowledgement.

And the day your son finally came into the world, it was a moment of joy and wonder that could not be compared to any other moment in life, filling your heart with indescribable happiness.

However, the birth also brought with it a torrent of new worries and challenges.

Childbirth was exhausting and intense. Nothing you've ever experienced before. And in the days that followed, the constant care of the newborn, the lack of sleep and the adjustment to your new life were heavy challenges that pushed you to the limit many times.

But in spite of that, every smile, every little gesture of your son filled your world with immense love, as well as Mrs. James' help in guiding you in practical aspects of motherhood increased your unwavering determination to go forward for him, being your driving force.

Although also the arrival of your son into the world increased your fear in you.

The fear that Aemond and his team might find you and take your son away from you was a constant worry. But despite this, there were moments of uncertainty when you thought too much about it.

You wondered why Aemond would bother looking for you and your child. Clearly the baby was a risk to his career and he didn't even want to support you from the start, only accepting it later because that was your decision.

You knew he wouldn't but you were still afraid.

Would Aemond really seek you out after he initially supported the idea of abortion?

Would he really seek you out after he supported your decision even if he didn't want to but in the shadows, avoiding any public acknowledgement and hiding you and your son?

But just when you had gotten used to it, had found stability with a job and a permanent refuge in the beauty salon with Mrs. Waters, a few months after the birth of your son, Mrs. Waters was forced to close the salon due to unforeseen financial problems.

That place that had been your refuge and where you found support and friendship, suddenly disappeared, leaving you with a feeling of emptiness, uncertainty and nostalgia.

Mrs. Waters would have to leave town and although you didn't want to, you also decided to do the same, convinced that you would be safer with your son in a place you knew well, avoiding at all times the places you used to go with Aemond and where you knew you could meet him.

So after looking for a job, with your resume and previous excellent references, in the city where the entire film industry resides, you got a job as a makeup artist in a different recording studio than the one you had worked in before.

There was no way you could meet Aemond, or so you thought.

Previously the TV network was BBC, now it was HBO for whom you would be working on a new TV show, so you really had nothing to worry about, especially since the pay was very good and you could survive just fine on that for you and your child.

But right on your first day of work, life decided to surprise you.

And now you are here, in your new apartment where you were planning to live temporarily until you find a better one, but now with you running away on your first day it means definite dismissal for sure, so you have no idea how you are going to pay for a better one or how you are going to pay for this one next month so you won't get kicked to the street.

But you can't even think straight as you are still shaking, your emotions are running high, you have no idea what really happened, it was all very fast between talking and remembering the past.

And the only thing that gives you some peace in the midst of your own thoughts and everything you're feeling, are the sounds of Aenar's toys and babbling in the living room, playing on the floor and touching everything he can.

His silver hair shines from the sunlight coming through the windows and he giggles as his colorful toys bump into each other, showing a world of happiness and innocent curiosity, completely filling your heart but you still feel that sharp ache in your chest.

You move towards him with a soft sigh and take a seat next to him, keeping a small genuine smile on your lips but with some melancholy, when he starts showing you all his toys and asks you between babbling and giggles to play with him.

You move the toys back and forth, ask him questions in honeyed tones and he laughs, making you laugh too, but you continue with the tumult of your overwhelming thoughts.

You think about what you will do now, that you should probably look for a job at a new beauty salon, which is what you should have done as soon as you got back, find a subtle job instead of going back to what you were doing before so suddenly.

However the paycheck was what made you take it and you need it too much, so you'll have to look for other alternatives.

You find yourself thinking about it when you suddenly hear the sound of the door completely interrupting your thoughts and also your game with Aenar.

You look towards the entrance, confused, with a strange feeling growing in your chest, immediately giving you a bad feeling. For who would come knocking at your door?

No one knows you're back… except Aemond.

Oh Gods.

The thought makes you paralyzed, feeling your whole body tense up, your heart starts beating fast and fear invades you completely.

Could it be him?

You wonder, struggling to stay calm, even though there's no way he could have figured out so quickly where you're living.

Or has he?

The thought leaves you completely paralyzed, with a mixture of anxiety and fear flowing inside you.

The knocking on the door becomes more insistent and you carefully get up and leave Aenar still amused in his game on the floor, then walk towards the door feeling a lump in your throat and a growing uneasiness.

You reach for the doorknob and as you turn it to open, your heart skips a beat when you find Aemond's agent standing in front of you, Criston Cole.

A trace of surprise and confusion flashes across your face, feeling your body tighten further and the fear linger.

How did he know where you were?

What is he doing here?

Criston returns you a serious but understanding look, beginning to feel the tension between the two of you, while you feel the fear invade you again because of the old memories and being him one of the main reasons why you decided to run away.

His mere presence triggers a series of emotions that take you by surprise. With no trace of Aemond or anyone else around you, yet your mind races.

Nervousness invades every fiber of your being, while your heart beats faster and stronger than usual. A sense of discomfort invades you and you also feel alert, afraid, unable to control it.

"Y/N."

He pronounces your name with a slight nod. His tone tries to be reassuring, but confusion and bewilderment wash over you.

You say nothing for a few seconds, feeling unable to speak and unable to formulate any words, barely trying at that moment to process the situation. Anxiety creeps through your chest, as he gives you and respects your space, aware of your unease.

"I understand that you're surprised by my visit and I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I really don't. But we need to talk."

The confusion inside you increases and so does the fear, to watch him completely bewildered and on the verge of collapse.

"H-how—

You try to ask with your voice cracking in the midst of all your emotions, but he interrupts you in response, knowing what you're going to ask.

"My team," he lets you know, "They handled finding you."

He tells you seriously and with that touch of professionalism in his tone, but his response only surprises and puzzles you more, to which Criston notices.

You feel the questions pile up in your head, but you barely manage to articulate a word, besides all the emotions you're feeling, fear mainly.

"Aemond informed us of your return," he adds, "After he didn't find you again, he asked us to look for you," he tells you calmly, trying to make his eyes convey an attempt at empathy for you.

But you don't believe that one bit. Not after what happened the last time you saw him and his entire team.

You feel a surge of vulnerability wash over you, leaving you suddenly helpless before him. You don't have the slightest idea how you will be able to cope with that situation, how to get away from them again now that they have found you, especially him.

"What have you really come for?" you question, not hiding your distrust.

Criston keeps a serene attitude and look, seeking to soften the tension, but notices your demeanor and posture, of fear and alertness altogether.

"Just to talk," he tells you softly, "Believe me the last thing I want and Aemond too is to cause you trouble. We just want to talk and nothing more," he explains, but you are having none of it, "He was going to come himself, but he had to film some scenes. But he'll come as soon as he can."

This just adds more weight to the anxiety and nervousness you're already feeling, so it triggers an alert in you that makes you feel completely freaked out, definitely not wanting that.

"No," you try to retort with a firm tone, but your vulnerability shows in your trembling voice and nervous expression, "Please leave."

Concern flashes across Criston's face for an instant, unconsciously taking a step towards you.

"Y/N–

"Please," you plead, "Just go away and don't come back, none of you, not even him."

"Y/N, please, just let me—

"No," you interrupt him again, more desperate than before, "Please," you repeat.

The atmosphere is filled with a silence full of tension, where your words, full of desperation and longing to get away from the situation, float in the air, also asking for urgent distance and tranquility.

And Criston lets out a sigh.

"Just a few minutes," he says, struggling to find some control in the situation, "Just-let us talk to you, Aemond and me."

"If it's to talk about his career and his son, I'm not interested," you say firmly, but your trembling voice gives away your emotions, "We've talked about that before," you say with some bitterness and sadness in your tone, "You can go now. I don't plan on staying anyway."

Without having let go of the door frame, you try to close the door, ending all of this, but he instantly speaks again, stopping you.

"Please Y/N, Aemond is very worried and wishes to speak with you," he insists, "He hasn't been the same since you left, you should know that," he adds in a persuasive tone.

You let out a snort in disbelief and with some bitterness, as you look away from his gaze for a moment.

"I highly doubt that."

"Y/N—

The sound of Aenar's innocent laughter while playing with his toys catches Criston's attention, stopping his words, who unconsciously catches a glimpse inside your living room where Aenar is playing and also catches a glimpse of his small figure on the floor with his characteristic silver hair.

This immediately triggers your concern and increases your protective mode and you quickly close the door a little behind you, blocking his view, while your heart is pounding.

This is what you meant.

You don't want anything bad to happen to your son, in any way. And you will do anything to protect him, because they decided everything except to protect you and now you will not allow them to intervene in your son's life now that they know he is here.

"Y/N," he calls to you in a softer voice, watching you completely intently and desperately asking you with his gaze for a moment.

"Please don't," you plead with him, at the point of collapsing from worry and frustration.

Again you enter the apartment as you hold the door frame tightly to close it, but Criston stops you again.

"You must understand the gravity of what happened," he tells you seriously, "Your disappearance put Aemond's relationship with his son in danger. There are legal implications for you to consider, such as custody," he says and your heart flips, "I can explain all of this to you and resolve it in the best way possible," he looks at you in insistence, "But only if you let me in so we can talk."

And there they are again. Your greatest fears.

The word 'custody' repeats over and over in your mind, like a loop, causing you greater fear, worry and pressure than before, the gravity of the situation and the looming legal implications being clear.

The air weighs on you, heavy with uncertainty and intense tension, as well as you are overcome with the urge to cry because of your doubts and fear.

"Wh-what-" you try to speak in a whisper, your voice cracking and your heart in a fist, "Custody?" you repeat under your breath.

Criston watches you with some pity and understanding, then lowers his gaze, lets out a sigh and watches you with that sympathy and also a little expectant.

"May I come in?"

Try one more time and maybe it's because of his words that your mind is in a state of alarm that makes you recognize that you can't run away again or else things will get worse. And you don't want that. You are afraid for yourself and Aenar.

Feeling more of your anxiety, you finally allow him to enter and Criston at this thanks you with his gaze and moves carefully, noticing your visible discomfort and also your fear, not wanting to alter you any further with absolutely nothing.

And once the door closes, you immediately stand in front of Aenar with a weak and vulnerable posture trying to look strong, this catching his attention and feeling something warm in his chest at the presence of the little one.

But he also knows exactly why you react this way and he doesn't blame you for it, much less does it bother him because he understands you.

"I'm very honest when I tell you that we really don't want to create more trouble, Y/N," he tells you in a soft tone, "Aemond…. he really is very worried. And since he is my client, we don't want any legal implications or further conflict."

You try to keep your composure, but your thoughts are a storm of confused emotions. The very idea of dealing with legal issues, especially regarding your son, is overwhelming to you.

"Why now?" you ask in a trembling voice, your gaze searching for answers, "All this… why?"

Criston exhales slowly, trying to find the right words.

"The situation has changed, basically since you left. Aemond was wrong at the time and I admit I was too, so now he's willing to acknowledge your son, in every way possible."

You can't help but look incredulous and bitter once again.

"It's already too late for that, don't you think?" you ask him in a bitter tone.

Criston looks down for a moment, his expression one of compassion and understanding towards your perspective.

"Yes, we know," he nods to you, "And that's why we're here, trying to keep all this from becoming a bigger problem. But please Y/N, understand that Aemond doesn't want to hurt you or cause you any more trouble than he's already caused."

"And until now you say that?" you inquire sad, worried, fearful and indignant, "That's what I needed to hear before when I was scared, because I was scared too Criston, not just Aemond," you let him know, with tears in the corners of your eyes, "But you treated me like a problem you needed to get rid of, you and him."

Criston listens to your words with a gesture in his eyes that reflects the heaviness of the situation, just as you see shame and regret wash over him, suddenly seeing him as the vulnerable one and you as the strong one compared to years ago, the roles reversing for a moment.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. We didn't mean to make you feel that way," he says in a regret-laden tone.

"Sorry doesn't change anything," you say, fighting back tears.

You watch him with your hard stare and sad eyes, feeling several tears fall down your cheeks, making you remember once again.

And once again without letting it drown you, you force yourself to push those memories away, all your moments of uncertainty, fear and pain, to brush your tears away from your cheeks with a strong look of determination.

"I will accept any legal consequences if there are any," you say suddenly, trying to keep your composure, "If there are legal actions, I'm willing to face them. But for now, I just want to be left alone, please."

"Y/N," Criston calls you cautiously, "I just want you to understand that we want to do the right thing now. And what we want to do is find a solution that works for you and for Aemond regarding him," he points to Aenar with his gaze behind you, "Something that guarantees your privacy while not damaging his public image."

Then all the effect of his words completely disappear on you.

You feel a surge of frustration, annoyance and despair at the realization that still the main concern remains Aemond's career.

"Do you still think about his career?" you ask with disappointment and resentment in your tone.

"Y/N—

"The most important thing here is my son," you stand strong, "But he seems to be only one aspect of Aemond's image, doesn't he?"

"Even after all this time that has passed, Aemond's career is more successful and even promising than before, that is something that neither you, him nor I should forget, let alone ignore," he tries to explain to you, "Aemond wants to fix things but his career must also be contemplated, please understand this Y/N."

"Then why do you say you want to do things the right way now if that is not true?" you inquire.

"Yes it is true," he clarifies, "But within all of this, his career must still be contemplated."

You shake your head in disbelief, unable to believe it.

"You say a lot of things Criston, but it's clear what matters most to you," you say with no emotion in your voice, "And sure, why shouldn't his career matter most to you? After all… you don't know what it's like to get pregnant, without support and go through the whole process by yourself, and then raise a child on your own, without the support of his father."

"I don't mean to—

"Please go away," you plead once more and this again alerts him.

"Y/N—

He tries to speak but the sound of the door echoes throughout the living room, drawing your full attention and Criston's as well.

The atmosphere again becomes heavier than before, as well as all your confidence disappears, already knowing who it is and you are confirmed by the fact that the person behind the door knocks more insistently, sounding desperate.

With your fearful gaze and your whole body tense, you quickly move towards Aenar, who is still playing completely oblivious to everything that is happening on the floor and you take him in your arms with haste but also care.

You hold him tightly against your body, as a way to protect him from everything outside and also from all people especially while trying to contain all your emotions.

And Criston, who also knows who it is, rushes to the door to open it.

And there on the doorway, the figure of Aemond comes into view, with all the desperation and longing in his gaze, the worry and anguish too, as you muster the courage to be able to look him in the eye again, holding Aenar a little more firmly against your chest.

But your son's body is visible to the eye and that's what makes Aemond completely paralyzed at the sight of you with his son in your arms.

Surprise is completely reflected in his whole look, immediately followed by a bunch of emotions that start to pile up in his whole being and want to come out, as he feels his whole body tense up and a feeling in his stomach invades him.

This leaves him and you in a state of momentary restlessness, where time seems to stand still and the silence is too loud. You, with your gaze fixed on him, try to keep your composure with a mixture of fear, insecurity and some determination to protect your son at all costs.

It didn't take long for Aemond's surprise to turn into a moment of awe and a surge of overwhelming emotions. The mere sight of you with his child in your arms triggers disbelief, pent-up longing and a feeling of suppressed joy.

"Y/N," Aemond calls your name in a whisper, his tone laden with surprise and visible regret, where his gaze can't tear away from you and Aenar.

You say nothing, just watch him back without saying anything, with all your emotions reflecting in your eyes.

The moment is just the three of you, so Criston turns away completely, not interfering and saying absolutely nothing, while you continue in your protective mode and Aemond is still processing this whole moment.

With excitement clashing against the surprise in his eyes, he tries to process the reality of having his son before him for the first time.

He searches for the right words to speak, but his stuck mind won't let him, nor will the lump in his throat and stomach as he continues to watch the scene in front of him; you with his son in your arms.

He tries to say something, but his lips barely half open and the words won't come out, feeling his heart beating too fast and hard.

And you with your gaze full of expectation, fear and caution, Aemond finally looks at you again, aware of all the emotional charge you feel, just like him, as well as your fear and distrust after everything that happened.

"C-can… can I come closer?"

He finally asks cautiously, his voice with a tone of longing and nervousness barely contained.

You hesitate at that moment.

Feeling the weight of the situation and the emotions that are triggered at that moment, despite everything, you feel very vulnerable and you also feel his vulnerability, also that longing to touch Aenar and hold him.

And despite the way he acted with you almost two years ago and also the way Criston and all his team treated you, you don't feel able to be as cruel as they were with you back then.

You don't want to be like them and also aware that this day would come sooner or later, you watch Aenar for a moment, leave a soft kiss on his forehead and again watch Aemond, then nod in his direction with a barely perceptible gesture.

You allow Aemond your closeness and he with extreme care begins to approach you slowly, as if fearing that a sudden movement could fade the magical and longing moment.

Aemond's heartbeat echoes in your ears as he finally stands in front of your son.

Aenar, completely oblivious to everything, senses the nearness of someone else and raises his curious gaze to Aemond, watching him with those bright blue eyes.

And upon seeing that man with the same hair color as his own, his eyes light up with a gleam of curiosity, lightly waving his arms and also his body.

With his teary eye, he watches you for a moment, to again focus on Aenar and with a mixture of excitement and awe, he extends one of his trembling hands towards his small, delicate face.

And when the touch of his fingers against his soft skin of his cheek makes itself felt, Aemond feels an unfamiliar sensation invade him completely.

A sad but honest smile full of melancholy appears on his lips as he gently and carefully traces his face, running his hand up to his silver hair, gazing intently into those blue eyes just like his own as Aenar watches him with that playful innocence but also just as curious as his own.

You, unsure of exactly what to feel or think, watch as he carefully reaches out both arms and begins to hold his body, feeling the warmth and weight of his small body now resting in his arms.

That unfamiliar, overwhelming feeling from before comes over him even more strongly as he holds his son for the first time, when Aenar lifts one of his hands and touches his left cheek, where his scar is.

The emotion makes his breath hitch as he struggles to hold back the tears of restrained happiness that will come at any moment.

It was a moment he had imagined countless times, but had never believed possible until this instant.

Aenar, captivated by the newness and warmth in the arms of Aemond, his father, laughs innocently, his eyes dazzling a happiness as he notices the familiarity in that new face above him. And at his gesture, Aemond lets out a choked laugh, completely captivated by him.

And unable to contain himself any longer, the first sob escapes his throat and the tears fall, instantly pulling his son's face to his chest, embracing him with gentleness and that security that makes him feel so vulnerable when Aenar settles perfectly in his arms.

Guilt, sadness, joy, emotion, everything invades him in that moment.

And he lets out more tears for the comfort that Aenar gives him in his arms, that feeling of protection and even… love, that makes him feel even more vulnerable.

And you are still there, close to them but giving Aemond his space, watching everything attentively with your heart in a fist and feeling sensations you had not felt before at the scene, with tears also wanting to slide down your cheeks.

After a few more seconds, Aemond slurps his nose and looks over Aenar's small shoulder at you with all the vulnerability in his gaze.

"I-I know I don't deserve this," he says with his voice cracking, trying to control himself but he can't.

And he is about to say something else but you watching his expression, a mixture of regret and deep sadness, you step forward to speak.

"In spite of everything, he deserves to know his father," you murmur with your trembling voice and teary eyes, "Aenar deserves this," you assure him, accepting it as you watch the scene of the two of them.

Aemond nods, unable to articulate words, still feeling the lump in his throat, his face reflecting pain, regret and a sadness you have never seen in him before, as his tears continue to fall as he embraces his son.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, unable to contain the emotion, turning to him and to you. "I'm so sorry. I-I didn't know how to face it…how to be there."

Silence again settles throughout the apartment, only being filled by Aemond's soft crying, as you silently weep and continue to watch the two of them.

A few minutes have passed since Aemond and your son met for the first time.

Aenar laughs with delight as Aemond plays with him with one of his toys. They are both immersed in a little world of fun where it's just the two of them, surrounded by Legos blocks, small plastic cars and puppets.

You watch everything, or almost everything, without interfering and giving them both their space, watching your son enjoy a special moment that on another occasion, could have been a daily routine with a different life.

Criston doesn't say or do anything either, he at all times stands in the corner watching the whole interaction, letting Aemond have his moment with his son, genuinely feeling happy for him.

And even though the scene makes you feel warm in your heart, being a scene you longed for before, you still still feel insecure, afraid and overwhelmed by this whole situation.

This doesn't really change anything. You have only given Aemond the opportunity to meet his son because your son deserves it, nothing more.

Inside you are still just as scared and in expectation that at any moment this whole 'beautiful' moment will fade away. And that's exactly what happens when you hear Criston's voice all over the living room.

"I wouldn't want to ruin the moment, truly," he says seriously and honestly, "But it's important that we talk about all this so we can resolve it properly."

This immediately catches your attention and also Aemond's, with whom you exchange a quick glance, again feeling your whole body tremble and out of the same nervousness you are overcome with the impulse to take your son in your arms to feel safe.

"It is important that we talk about the child, about what you are going to do now," he turns to Aemond, "Custody is important and all that goes with it."

"I don't understand why you keep talking about custody," you look at him nervously and annoyed, "I alone have cared for and raised Aenar all this time."

"I know this is complicated and sudden, Y/N," Criston tells you, "But we need to approach this whole thing responsibly."

"Responsibility?" you repeat incredulously, "What responsibility are you exactly talking about?"

"Y/N," Aemond immediately interjects, "Listen to me, please," he gets up from the floor leaving Aenar playing alone and walks towards you, "It's not my intention to take our son away from you, truly. But we must make sure we have legal rights to be in his life," he explains to you, "You were the one who ran away, who disappeared without a word. I didn't know what happened to you."

You look at him uncomprehendingly, with your hurt and desperate gaze.

"You talk about custody and rights when in the beginning that was the last thing on your mind, Aemond," you observe him incredulously, "And you keep reproaching me for running away when you know perfectly well that I did it so I could live and so I wouldn't ruin your career, which was all you were thinking about."

Regret again invades Aemond's face, as the atmosphere becomes denser, full of mixed emotions where fear and anger resurfaces with everything else.

Any trace of calm and peace, has ceased to exist, only being perceived by Aenar, who continues oblivious and innocent to all this in his games.

"I-I…" Aemond tries to speak, "I'm sorry for everything, Y/N. But back then...

His sentence hangs in suspense, not knowing what else to say, trying to find the right words without wanting to generate more tension, but that's what he involuntarily does.

"Back then," you repeat, your emotions running high, "Back then you were too busy taking care of your public image, supporting the idea of an abortion without consulting me, then supporting the idea of hiding me and my child as if we were a problem, which in fact we were and as if it was my only option, leaving me with no alternatives," you express with frustration and pain marked in every word.

Regret remains in Aemond's facial expressions, looking visibly affected by your words, grief-stricken and with a regret throughout his body that affirms to him that you are absolutely right, each word being like a dagger straight to his heart.

"Y-you don't know how much I regret and blame myself for all of that, Y/N," he tells you with vulnerability in his tone, "And I know I don't deserve it, any of this, not even that you allowed me to meet him and that I'm now in the same place as him," he says with regret, "But I want to find a solution that works for both of us," he whispers sadly.

The room is again consumed by silence, except for the sound of Aenar's toy movements, which is what catches Aemond's attention for a moment to smile a little more melancholy.

The situation becomes increasingly complex as your emotions continue to run high between anger and sadness, with the memory of past times still latent, but also with the uncertainty of the future.

And Criston, trying to keep calm, intervenes again.

"I understand that you both have different perspectives on what happened. But now we need to think about the future, of your son," he says seriously, "It's not just about custody, it's about finding a way to strike a fair balance, but… thinking about your career too, Aemond."

You let out a disbelieving, ironic snort again, shaking your head.

"His career,'" you repeat with a bitter tone, your voice a mixture of sarcasm and disappointment.

Aemond, watching you sadly and remorsefully, speaks in a calm but regret-laden voice.

"I don't want you to look at this that way, Y/N—

"That's just the way I see it," you interrupt him, serious and sad, "This is exactly why I left. This is why when I saw you again, I decided to run away again," you say hurt, "Now that you've met him, you want to be in his life, but you still prefer to hide us. This kind of life is the one you wanted to give us at the beginning and now you still do too."

Your revelations Aemond had already heard, but at that moment, again that sharp pain in his chest becomes present, as well as guilt, remorse and regret at seeing your sad face with such honest words.

"All I want is to come to an agreement, Y/N, please—

"You're not going to hide us," you interrupt him firmly.

"Aemond," he calls him seriously.

"No, that's not my intention—

He insists desperately but Criston intervenes.

"Don't," Aemond interrupts him instantly, turning serious and with an annoyed expression towards him, "We can't hide the truth anymore, Criston. Things must change."

"Look, I understand that this is difficult for you," he begins in a serious and cautious tone, "But still, we must consider the consequences. There's a lot at stake here, your career," he reminds him, "You have numerous job offers. Your show on HBO is the most famous show on the platform and the most watched show on television so far. How do you think people are going to react when they find out about your son?"

The room sinks into another silence, as you watch him with your hard, sad face, frustration, annoyance and irritation inside you, watching as Criston continues to treat your son like he's a problem.

And it hurts you.

Because Aemond doesn't even say anything.

"We can find a way to handle all this without putting at risk everything you have achieved, Aemond. And if you get a share of the custody, your son will be under your protection without harming your image," he proposes with an insistent look, seeking his approval.

You look away again, completely incredulous and with helplessness all over you.

It's not Aemond, it's Criston.

It is he who continues to manipulate Aemond to prioritize his career over his son, so that everything revolves around public image and fame, diverting attention from the well-being of your son.

And what can you really do there?

He is his agent, the person who has positioned him where he is now, making him famous, relevant, telling him what roles to take in movies or TV shows that are going to ensure one more success to his career.

"If you listen to him…" you begin to say in his direction with a trembling but firm tone, "If you do what he tells you, I swear I won't care what I have to do, even go into debt to get a good lawyer," you warn, "I will fight for the custody of Aenar and when I get it, I assure you that you will never see him again, ever."

Your words slip from your lips with a determination that completely surprises Aemond, surprise and concern visible on his face, watching you hurt for a moment, his mind a complete mess.

But it is not he who speaks, but Criston who takes the floor once more.

"If that's what you want, Y/N… that's fine," he tells you seriously, his gaze cold and calculating. "But let me warn you, we're trying to come to an agreement—

"The two of you or you specifically?" you snap at him.

"That doesn't matter, Aemond is my client and my job is to secure and protect his career," he tells you seriously, "And if you'd rather take this to fighting for full custody of Aenar, then so be it," he nods at you, "But I assure you, you're going to end up losing."

"That's enough."

Finally, Aemond's voice rises from where he stands, aimed directly at Criston, with a serious, hard stare that reveals a newfound determination.

"We are talking about our son, an issue that concerns her and me, this has nothing to do with you," he declares, his tone firm and his posture defiant.

"Your career has to do with me," he clarifies to her also serious, "You must think about what you are going to sacrifice. Your future, your career, the opportunities that await you-

"I said that's enough," he spits back at her, serious and annoyed, watching him with a hard stare, taking Criston by surprise.

And before he can say anything else, there is another knock on the door, drawing your full attention and making you feel completely alert, especially when Criston is the one who again goes to open the door, as if he knows exactly who it is.

And as you open the door, just like that day, Aemond's publicist, an assistant and the PR people enter your apartment.

Surprise flashes all over your face, watching with your eyes wide open the unexpected arrival of that group of people, whose intentions are not good.

"Thank you for coming," Criston tells them as he closes the door behind him.

"Of course."

Their eyes flick to you for a moment and then focus on Aenar, watching them back with curiosity in their gaze, while you feel confusion and fear completely take over you.

Despair, fear, your future, Aenar, everything mixes together in a horrible way that makes you want to vomit, letting out a couple of tears to quickly turn to your son and hold him in your arm, turning your back to them and starting to cry silently.

And Aemond, seeing your reaction, equally as surprised as you, quickly turns to Criston, his gaze full of confusion and annoyance.

"What is this? Why have you called them?" he inquires with his voice full of restrained anger.

And Criston, unabashed and uncaring of his actions, responds with a calm but calculated determination.

"We are not going before a jury to settle this, Aemond, it will be a waste of time and she will cause us more trouble," he says regardless, "This is necessary for your career, to address this whole issue strategically to protect your image, whether she likes it or not."

Aemond's expression transforms to one of frustration and helplessness.

But before he can intervene, his entire team begins to act.

"We need to establish an immediate plan, now," Criston says.

"Will the strategy be to minimize the impact on the media?" asks the publicity man.

"No, I want it hidden," Criston clarifies, "The approach must be careful and calculated. The priority is Aemond's reputation and career."

"I suggest we limit the exposure of Y/N and the child in public."

"We could create an alternative narrative to deflect attention by highlighting Aemond's professional accomplishments and minimizing the focus on his personal life."

"This must be handled with discretion. We cannot allow this situation to interfere with Aemond's career opportunities," Criston says firmly.

And so your entire living room fills with the sound of all those voices, each voice contributing ideas to control the situation, the problems, Aenar and you.

The tension intensifies, as everyone meticulously plans how to run the public narrative, completely ignoring Aemond's and your personal needs and concerns.

Tears slip down your cheeks silently as you hug Aenar tightly to your chest. This instantly catches the attention of Aemond, who steps worriedly towards you, placing his hand on your shoulder, positioning himself in front of you, but you abruptly pull away from him, watching him with an expression of pain and anguish amidst your tears and suffering face.

"Y/N—

"Why are you doing this? Why are you allowing this?" you ask in your broken, desperate voice.

"No, I swear to you I had no idea that he—

"I left, Aemond," you remind him with your voice cracking, "I left to save your career. And everything was fine, with you and me, our lives," you sob, "Why did you ask Criston to find me? Why do you care and insist on saying you want to be in our lives, when your career is still the most important thing?"

Pain and confusion echo in your words, lingering in the mind of Aemond, who in his gaze reflects a mixture of guilt, bewilderment, pain and sadness.

But everything hurts him more the moment you turn away from him, with a defeated gesture, turning your back to him and your whole body trembling in fear, Aenar in your arms being what gives you strength not to fall apart at that moment.

"We can prepare official statements to control the leaking information to minimize any negative impact on his public reputation."

"Rest assured that we need to maintain full control of this situation. We cannot allow any details to slip out," Aemond hears Criston's voice.

And that's when something snaps inside him.

Every repressed feeling bursts out in a whirlwind of emotions that were fighting to get out, your worry, the anger at himself and the guilt that invades him.

Everything explodes and ignites into a fury that he can no longer contain, seeing your state, causing him anger and feeling completely guilty.

Because everything is in fact his fault.

So without waiting a second longer, he walks to the center of the living room and with a hard, serious, completely annoyed look on his face and with his jaw clenched, he acts.

"Get out of here, all of you, now!" he exclaims, instantly drawing everyone's attention and yours as well.

For an instant everyone watches him and nothing else, slightly surprised and expectant, Criston too, unmoving and doing nothing, causing you a wave of despair.

"I said everyone out!" he exclaims in a firm voice and his gaze full of determination.

And it's only then that one by one the team finally leaves your apartment, except for Criston.

"What are you doing?" he inquires with a touch of disbelief in his tone, challenging Aemond.

"You get out of here too."

He orders him annoyed and with irritation, his voice charged with a frustration that has already reached its limit.

"Aemond, this is important, you can't just—

"I need to talk to Y/N alone," he interrupts her with his tone in a mixture of anger and determination, "I'm warning you, Criston. If you ever do anything else again without consulting me and interfering with this, I'm going to seriously consider firing you, which is what I should have done long ago," he shoots back at him with his defiant stare.

The pulse of the room beats with unbearable intensity as Aemond and Criston hold a duel of intense stares. However, in the face of Aemond's firmness, Criston finally resigns himself with a serious, annoyed look, full of frustration and resignation.

And finally he heads for the door, his footsteps sounding in the room as he leaves the apartment.

Aemond watches him leave with a mixture of relief and exhaustion, no longer feeling his shoulders tense. The silence expands once more as soon as the door closes and he turns to you with a gaze filled with a quiet, worried intensity.

The silence lingers for a few moments longer, a dense atmosphere charged with unspoken emotions. When he takes a step toward you, hesitantly.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, his voice ringing with sincerity and regret, "What happened, my insistence… none of this was my intention, much less to cause you pain and hurt you," he admits with his vulnerability again reflected.

And even though it's just you and him in your apartment, your fear lingers.

"P-please don't take my son from me," you plead between sobs, your voice filled with anguish and fear.

Aemond's heart contracts in suffering and worry at your words, his gaze instantly reflecting it.

"What? No, no, Y/N… that is not what I want to do, it is not my intention to take our son from you."

He tells you instantly insistent but in a serene and sincere voice, taking a few more steps towards you, placing himself in front of you, trying to reassure you. But tears continue to slide down your cheeks.

"This is why I left, so I wouldn't cause you any more trouble, so I could live and keep our son safe," you repeat with your voice cracking.

"I know, Y/N, I know," he tells you sympathetically and with a soft tone, "And you don't know how much I hate myself for having been the cause of you deciding to leave, for having hurt you so much to the point of having made that decision," he says sincerely, his eye beginning to tear up, "And this is not just about him, about our son," he tries to explain, "Yes, it is important, but it is also about us," he speaks with a longing, "Since you left, I never stopped thinking about you, and I-I...

He hesitates, unable to fully express his feelings, as he stands in front of you and wants to hold you, you and your son, as he faces his deepest emotions, feeling a tear run down his cheek and looks at you with all the sincerity and pain in his gaze.

"I love you," he finally says, in a completely vulnerable whisper, trembling, lowering his gaze, unable to look you in the eye, "Despite everything, despite my mistakes, despite my work, despite everything that happened…. I-I still love you," he declares in a whisper laden with longing and regret, "And our son too."

His words get stuck in your mind.

With your heart clenched by the surge of emotions, your eyes watch him back with a mixture of surprise, pain and longing. Aemond's sincerity and vulnerability... it's all too much and makes you feel completely helpless, definitely not expecting that.

You can't speak, your words get stuck in your throat, your heart fluttering with the intensity of the moment, your surprise.

And Aemond completely understands your silence.

"I understand that you don't love me anymore and that you can't love me again, I also understand that things can't go back to the way they used to be because of my job. But please… don't keep running away," he pleads quietly, "We won't fight over custody, there will be no legal repercussions, I'm not going to do any of that," he assures you, "Just…" he lets out a long breath, "Just get back to work and let's face this together."

He proposes with his voice full of fragile but hopeful determination, unexpectedly causing you to feel a relief and a warm feeling in your chest.

"I just want Aenar to be okay and let's consider his well-being as the most important thing," you say quietly, while Aemond listens attentively with his face full of longing, regret and understanding, "But we need time and patience. Also that no one else interferes."

Aemond nods, with a slightly more relieved expression, but keeping in mind that there is much to resolve, to heal and to build.

"I understand that and… I'm willing to do whatever it takes… for him and for you," he says sincerely.

You nod too, as silence takes over again, but this time it is permeated with a shared understanding and a determination to face whatever is necessary for Aenar's well-being.

And finally after so much, you feel calm and fortunately, this time with the support of Aemond, who hesitantly leaves a gentle kiss on your forehead and another on Aenar's forehead, taking him back into his arms.

taglist:

@imaegonstargaryenswife0 @bellstwd @gibbsgirl7 @toodlesxcuddles @imsoshygirl @croatianprincess @gemini-mama @a-little-roony-mara @mysteris-things @zenka69 @at-a-rax-ia @fan-goddess @duds31 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @eternally-passionate @bellaisasleep @ttkttt @aemshaircare @mellowdreamlandpost-blog @noodle81937 @mooncalvin @queenofshinigamis @n4tforlife @vexladin @dixie-elocin @wotcherpeak @watercolorskyy @shiny-trashs-blog @strangersunghoon @elysian0612 @skzenhalove @iloveallmyboys

next part taglist:

@anehkael

#aemond targaryen #aemond fanfiction #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x y/n #aemond targaryen x you #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x oc #aemond x reader #hotd aemond #aemond one eye #aemond targaryen angst #modern aemond #ewan mitchell #ewan nation #ewan mitchell fanfic #ewan mitchell fandom #ewan mitchell characters

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

So have any unpopular opinions about the owl house? Mine is that Gus should gotten more recognition in the show and the fandom.

i agree honestly, gus was a character with so much potential and they completely squandered that. but at least he got a few episodes centred around him, unlike bow who had no role in the story apart from being the emotional support and the occasional comic relief.

my unpopular opinion is that.. the fandom blames the disney executives too much. don't get me wrong, they definitely screwed over the show and refused to let dana give us the entire story she had planned out. but a lot of the bad writing in s2b and s3 (and heck, even in s1) was the entirety the writers' fault.

unlike some other shows, the creators toh actually got the opportunity to wrap up the story. there were a lot of shows that were just cancelled with no warning, and the creators never got to write a conclusion. in that sense, the writers of toh got lucky and they should have used that to their advantage.

especially in s3, all three episodes together had a longer runtime than that of a movie. and i believe disney announced the decision to cancel when s1 was almost over, so they had all the time in the world to plan things out and make a coherent plotline instead of focusing on rushed ships and fanservice.

i was so excited for s3 and it was sorely disappointing. belos went from being a complex three-dimensional villain to just your standard Big Bad™ with no motivation outside of pOwEr. hunter was given trauma after trauma to deal with, and none of it was addressed properly afterwards. huntlow was rushed and unnatural, and screwed over both characters involved. luz's whole epiphany and the palisman was extremely lackluster, and her palisman didn't even play a huge role in the narrative afterwards. titan luz was just a deus ex machina and went against the original message of the story, which was that “there is no chosen one”.

overall, i feel like the creators did a bad job of handling the story and fans should stop blaming everything on the show's cancellation. it's an easy excuse because they don't want to hold the writers accountable for their bad writing decisions.

#this is slowly turning into a toh critical account lol #toh critical #toh salt #toh criticism #toh discourse #anti toh #anti huntlow #btw stringbean being a shapeshifter was such a cop out #we didn't even know that palisman could be shapeshifters until then it was clearly a rushed decision #because fans had so many speculations on what the palisman would be and the writers were like “she's all if them #there you go!! are you happy?“ #smh

[thornpixie]

Rewatching xo Kitty knowing the outcome, and I'm more convinced than ever that Dae deserved far better

Be warned, it’s a long one

That boy went through so fucking much. He TRIED to tell Kitty what was going on. He really tried.

He only got involved in the fake relationship thing with Yuri because he was at risk of being kicked out of school. His girlfriend lived on the other side of the world, as far as he knew, and the relationship with Yuri wasn't real. He is a teenage boy; he probably thought no one would get hurt. Yes, he was wrong to presume that. This isn’t a ‘Dae is perfect’ post. He isn’t. That’s what makes him so likeable to me. But he said himself - he only agreed it with Yuri four hours before he saw Kitty at the welcome party. He was completely blindsided by her, and STILL one of the first things he said to her was 'I need to tell you something'. HE TRIED TO TELL HER! But Yuri cut in. He cared about Kitty, but this was his future, and I completely understand why he went along with it. Given the chance to explain - which Yuri promised him he could do the following day - he knew Kitty enough to know she would understand. But he couldn't risk his future. One night wasn't worth getting kicked out of school for. Kitty completely blindsided him showing up out of the blue, and he was put on the spot. But this was his life. His education. His entire future.

It sucks that Kitty got hurt, but she was the one who flew across the world without telling him. Dae had to do what was best for him and his family, which was accepting Yuri's financial aid. Even after that, he tried to explain to her again. She refused to talk to him. And I get it, I really do. Again, these characters are teenagers and acting emotionally. Kitty was understandably furious and hurt. But Dae did not get the opportunity to explain then either. He tried again the next day, but there were bigger, far more powerful people involved, pulling the strings and manipulating him. This isn’t a grown man who should know better. This is a SIXTEEN YEAR OLD BOY! He is going through a lot. His mom has recently died. His family is brassic. His sister is being bullied, made worse by the fact her shoes are falling apart so everyone knows the family is poor, and you could see how upset Dae was that he couldn't help by getting her new shoes. He is at risk of getting kicked out of school because he can't afford the tuition. It seems obvious to me that his father is not coping well, and Dae is forced to step up and be there for his sister. At the same time, he is trying to be there for Kitty who, yes, has lost her mom, but she has no idea of the other struggles Dae faces. Should he have respected her enough to confide in her about his family situation? Probably. But I understand him making bad decisions as a teenager.

So someone comes along and offers to make all that stress go away. They're going to pay some of his school fees! And all he has to do is pretend to be in a relationship with them. Who wouldn't accept that offer? Then he is told to sign an NDA. Again, he is sixteen. He hasn't got a lawyer who can explain the implications to him. All he knows is he is getting a job and a salary and security for his family out of this deal where he just has to pretend to date a girl. The reality of it doesn't hit him until Yuri reminds him that he cannot tell Kitty about anything because now he has signed an NDA and will be sued. Everything he has been offered, all the great things for his family, are at risk of disappearing if he tells Kitty the truth. And at first he's going to do it anyway. He loves this girl, he trusts her, and he would do it to be with her... until Kitty herself proves she can't be trusted. She spilled the secret about Min Ho. At that point, he does the right thing for everyone involved. He literally cannot be with Kitty and tell her the truth without potentially getting himself SUED. He might love her, but they are teenagers. No high school romance is worth that risk, I don't care what anyone says. So he ends the relationship rather than string her along. And you can see it kills him to do it (big up Minyeong Choi's acting), but it is best for everyone involved. And tbf, he has little choice. His dad could lose his job too, and that is not worth it. It's just not. He doesn't have the luxury of acting out against his parents, like Yuri, and knowing she'll still never have to worry about a thing. He doesn't have the luxury of being able to do whatever the hell he wants, like Min Ho. He has a loving and supportive family unit in his father and sister, but everything they have is at risk. And he can fix it. He can make their lives easier by breaking his own heart. It is a selfless thing that he does.

I don't blame Kitty for her reactions. Again, she is a teenager, and she has an amazing family, a supportive step mom, financial security... ultimately, Kitty is a little spoiled by that. It's understandable. But she creates a lot of problems for herself with her lack of life experience. She needs to grow up a little bit, realise she doesn't know and understand everything, and give people a chance.

Min Ho was never really Dae's friend. He is a spoiled brat. He missed hanging out with him so he decides to throw his toys out the pram and be a jerk, just to have Dae back? That’s not teenager behaviour, that’s toddler behaviour. Okay, is he sweet to Kitty at times? Undoubtedly. I think he genuinely does grow to care about her. It doesn't make him any less of an asshole though. He could see how much his supposed 'best friend' was hurting, and he actively stirred the pot between him and Kitty, for his own agenda. Calling Yuri to tell her about the outdoors club. Insisting that Kitty was flirting with him. Pushing the 'Portland stalker' narrative. Telling Professor Lee about the dorm situation. Trying to make her get mad at Dae again when the truth came out and they got back together. GOING BEHIND HIS 'BEST FRIENDS' BACK AND TELLING THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE THAT HE WAS ALSO IN LOVE WITH HER AND BEING HAPPY SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM. He is an awful friend to Dae. And I'm not saying Dae is perfect, and there are definitely things he could have done better. But Min Ho is a spoiled, pretentious asshole who really doesn't care about anyone but himself and I hope Kitty doesn't develop feelings for him in return. He is used to getting everything he ever wanted, with no consequences (none that he cared about, anyway) and it’s boring. Kitty has shown zero romantic interest in him. Long may that continue.

Ultimately, Q is the only true friend that Dae has. I hope they will maintain that in season 2 by having him come clean about Florian. Otherwise, everything Dae has gone through for his family will be for nothing because he loses his room and board scholarship. I think Q has a strong sense of right and wrong, and a good moral compass, so regardless of his feelings for Florian, he will do the right thing. At least, I truly hope so.

Kitty and Dae need some time apart. They met when they were like twelve? And have been online dating ever since. They’ve never looked at anyone but each other romantically, and their entire being has been tied to this person who they couldn’t physically be with. That takes a toll. They need time apart to figure themselves out. Kitty, to explore her sexuality, and Dae to just get his life back on track. I truly believe that, in time, they could grow back together. I don’t think they can survive without each other. They’re too interwoven.

Anyway, a parting thought - JUSTICE. FOR. DAE.

#xo kitty #dae x kitty #kitty x dae #xo Kitty Dae #Minyeong Choi #anna cathcart

[historical-fashion-polls]

The 1896 bicycling outfits are a really neat opportunity to compare people’s preferences for masc vs femme outfits! Obviously there are many other factors that may influence one’s choice, but I wonder how many voters, like me, were drawn to the woman’s cycling costume because they prefer historic womenswear over menswear, or vice versa.

Or who knows, maybe everyone was just voting on whether they’re pro- or anti-leg of mutton sleeves.

hi my dear! 💕

thank you so much for sending in this message and I deeply apologize for how long it has taken me to respond! 💖

it certainly is an interesting question, and I completely agree that there are a lot of factors at play in the decision here! ☺️ at risk of influencing (or perhaps offending 😬) others, I must admit that although I tend to vastly prefer more femme-leaning historical fashions, I actually found the femme outfit in this plate to be incredibly boring 😅 I think it's the fact that it's all one color and texture – it just wasn't as compelling to me as the more masc looks (full disclosure, I voted for the one on the right 💕)

I use this example only to absolutely agree with your point that there are a lot of different factors potentially at play here! and certainly one's opinions on those good ol' poofy sleeves could indeed be a big deciding factor 😂

I'm so glad you enjoyed the possibilities offered by this plate, and thank you again for sending in this lovely message! 🥰 I hope you have a fantastic day! ☺️💕☺️💕

(for those curious, this is the post in question ☺️)

#the curator speaks #curatorial correspondences

[roobylavender]

i adore everything you have ever said about bruce and talia, the recent post about the romantic tension is something I thought about too. do you have any other similar post-lexcorp era headcanons for them. I agree on talia choosing her own path seperate of the playing house future people like to adopt for her but the bittersweetness of their relationship after that is so !!! something about tragic romances or duty before love romances are incomparable! do you have any other such ships?

so like. for whatever all i said and my many cries that if talia was never in a batbook again i would be happy (and i really would like fuck that editorial team) i do think it's obv it would be completely impossible to stage jason's return and damian's introduction without her being involved yknow. so i have a lot of overarching hcs about her being an ally during that time period in the batman mythos but less as someone easy on the eyes and more as someone truly painful for bruce to look at. bc there's a lot of explaining she has to do. how does she explain how the red hood came to be. how does she explain potentially killing the joker (bc let's be real. she would. killing is a non-option for talia until not doing so directly puts a loved one's life at stake and i do believe whatever fucked up effect the joker has on jason would qualify by her standards). how does she explain not telling bruce that she did have a baby. how does she explain that bc she walked away from ra's she wasn't careful enough and ra's found out and got the baby back. etc etc. to me the irony of the completion of lex corp era is that like. you had a glimpse of the repreive that could be wherein bruce and talia may have almost believed they could maybe reconcile and speak to each other on warmer terms. but with the way everything else in the batman mythos was going shit would inevitably hit the fan and everything talia thinks she walked away from would come rushing back to haunt her. and it would create a really great opportunity, i think, to turn bruce and talia's dynamic on its axis while focusing on how all of this only hurts talia more, bc obv bruce is going to be upset. but what about all of the times talia was upset and had to make the difficult decisions and go it completely alone. she was wrong and she made some mistakes but he doesn't get to patronize her after everything he's put her through yknow. so i'm really intrigued by the idea of this time period where they both want the same things - for jason and damian to be safe and happy - but there is so much grief behind how all of them got here that they'll have to wade through first and that will inevitably put them under the microscope of their surrounding audience bc everyone will see clearly how much they care for each other and yet how stubborn and principled they are anyway, and how this ultimately keeps them apart as much as their circumstances do

as for other romances of a similar kind this is why i recced song of the bandits recently! the main couple have very strong brutalia vibes imo even though the setting contextually is very different

#outbox

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

I cant remember if i already sent in an ask, but i dont know what to do. Seven months ago, my dad relapsed back into his alcoholism. One night he got drunk, left my mom in an empty parking lot where my brother and I had to pick her up, and when we got home he had trashed all her things and threw her stuff out onto the front steps. It isn't the first time he's done this, my whole child it's all I can really remember him doing, but for awhile things were okay. Once he saw us though, he was an animal. He attacked my brother and they fought and we all had to pin my dad down while he screamed he'd kill us all. Once we thought it was okay to let him up, he lunged for my mom and my brother took the hit and they fought again. I had to call his brother, my uncle, to try and reason or stop him.

He nearly starts fighting my uncle, breathing heavily and his eyes just wild. I remember staring him dead in the face while he threatened he'd put a 40 in our skulls and kill us. That night we grabbed what we could and slept at my uncle's. The next morning, he felt guilty and apologized repeatedly but I blocked his number and refused to speak or see him. I still live at home though, meaning I'm still in a way in contact with him.

I'm done. I can't take it anymore, and what's worse is I'm alone in this decision. My dad is by no means a perfect person, I'm not either, nobody is. But this was too much and I've made my choice. My mother keeps trying to convince me to heal and accept my dad because he's an addict and given different circumstances, if I had an addiction or eating disorder, they wouldn't just abandon me right? But it's not the same, it really isn't.

I do have an eating disorder, I have CPTSD, I'm in pain and have been for a long time but I handle it and it's not something I let them see or know. What's his excuse. He's been abusive, manipulative, vile, and I can't forgive him.

I guess recently my dad had a small heart attack, and who knows maybe he'll die soon. But I don't feel anything about it. There's no anger, no sadness, no rage, just nothing. Maybe I'm in shutdown. Regardless, I'm not sure what's right anymore. I'm going to be saving up to move out, and if I don't have enough then I'll live in my car. He can kick me out for all I care. I can't stay anymore, not here.

Rent is insane where I live, I'm not sure how long it'll take for me to save or if I'll even achieve this goal, but I need to do something. Everyday gets worse and I can't keep waiting for another bomb to go off, or for my mother to comfort me by saying "the bomb is okay, accept it." She asked me to go a therapy session with her you know, mother daughter therapy. At first I agreed but after what she said today, she can forget it. Even after all this time, she doesn't understand. She never will.

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. There is absolutely no obligation to forgive him. It's reasonable to resent him even if his behavior is related to substance abuse or whatever other excuse is given. Even if someone adequately takes accountability for their actions (which it sounds like he doesn't) you still don't have to forgive them, and it doesn't mean you aren't allowed to still feel hurt. It almost sounds like your mom is an enabler. You've seen a long pattern of violent, threatening, and hurtful behavior from your father, and so it makes sense why it's so hard to be convinced that he's something better. It's okay to not worry or even grieve if your dad passes away, especially in context. Do consider that if these violent episodes continue, it may be necessary to call the authorities, though it can definitely be easier said than done.

Although I completely understand your reasons for not wanting to go to therapy with your mom, being able to speak with a therapist could potentially help you a lot in processing these experiences and your feelings surrounding them, regardless of whether or not your mom benefits from it. It could be an opportunity to meet with that therapist individually as well, and they may be able to see the situation for what it truly is.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions feel free to add on, otherwise I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw substance abuse #tw death

[definitely-not-a-wasp]

As far as JPs decisions go, splitting the flock in book 3 for a time was honestly one of the choices that I could have easily agreed with. Max shows a general inability to cope with changes in the structure of her siblings, so having Fang not only decide to leave, but to take people with him, had a lot of potential to be an excellent plot choice.

But why.

Why.

Did it have to be shown as anger?

By book 3, Max and Fang were both getting perspective chapters, and Fang’s decision to leave was shown to be because they were angry at Max for letting Ari live (combined with jealousy???? Maybe???? I think???? It might be bleedover from the Book 2 Stalker-Ari nonsense but that’s another can of worms) when the much more interesting option of fear was right there.

Think about it: Max and Fang keep arguing over what they’re going to do with Ari. Fang, from Max’s perspective, is acting angry and irrational, saying that their two options are to ditch him in the woods or give him a clean death when the younger kids aren’t looking. Max is against this because Ari is seven and probably only a few days away from dying, anyway, so she gets angry as well. Their fight gets more personal, several personal insults are thrown at each other, and Fang— in all of their conflict resolution skills— decides to stalk off to clear their head. From the audience’s perspective, Fang is furious.

And then, when the perspective finally switches, either before or after Fang takes Iggy and Gazzy and fucks off, they are terrified. Because what the canon narrative glossed over (briefly mentioned but not nearly enough) is that Ari sent Fang to the hospital when Fang likely had both nosocomephobia and trypanophobia. Being in the same room as Ari was giving them flashbacks to when their stomach was torn open. They couldn’t sleep because they were certain that either they would die in the night or they’d wake up to someone else murdered. Even after they leave, they keep having intrusive thoughts of Max and co. being killed.

When Max finally contacts them again, their first thoughts aren’t derisive, aren’t of Max finally coming around and asking them to come back, but a cold, heavy dread at the possibility of seeing Ari again. They go to help Max because Max is family, but those fears are still relentless and intruding into their mind. (This could also give Iggy the opportunity to take a bit more charge because he knows full well that Fang isn’t at their best at the moment, so that means it’s his job to step up and make sure his family comes out in one piece.)

I don’t know exactly how this would be resolved perfectly, because Ari dies not long after, but I imagine that dynamics would more permanently shift in the flock and in the Fax relationship, because their initial fight wasn’t a pleasant one by any means, and it’s not easy for Fang to confront the fact that they were scared by someone who had nearly killed them and Max completely wrote it off. But it would be interesting to work from an angle of fear rather than anger/jealousy (????), and turn a plot point that (in my opinion) kind of flopped into a really interesting conflict between Fang and Max.

#oh shit Fang nearly died #of course they don't want Ari around #basically what I'm saying is that I want the main characters to be allowed to be scared #under all of the sass and smarm and action I want the flock to be deeply afraid #Why was this played as anger???? Why couldn't Fang be scared?????? #does the 14yo being scared of the person who nearly murdered him take away from his edgy factor?????? Is that the problem JP???? #Maximum Ride on Main #Maximum Ride #Fang (Maximum Ride) #Also I fully believe that Iggy decided to go with Fang because he knew Fang wasn't doing well and immediately decided to do damage control #Alternatively: Max and Fang have their big argument up until Fang pulls up their shirt to remind Max of their copius scarring #and Max remembers #and then they can actually have a CONVERSATION ABOUT IT #probably ending with Fang leaving the flock for a time except they have check-ins with each other #And they both know Fang will rendezvous once Ari is gone #Fang's still gone but with less angry and more melancholy

[o-wyrmlight]

honestly i agree with you. pure vanilla is too much of a pushover. from how i see it, the writers are choosing to focus on one key personality trait, but instead of expanding on it or trying to make complexities on the character and his decisions, they’re just running with it. don’t get me wrong, i don’t hate the writers/people developing the characters went stories, but i feel like there’s a lot of wasted potential with certain characters

Devsis is doing to Pure Vanilla's character what the fandom did with Papyrus from Undertale.

That is, taking a canonically kind character and making it their unquestionable personality trait. Making them both out to be dumb, or naive, or absolutely and completely innocent--someone who could do no wrong because they don't know any better. Someone who will extend an olive branch over and over and over because they're so naive.

And while the fandom was wrong about Papyrus (Papyrus, a character who, even in the worst of circumstances, is shown to actively chose to believe that good can come from a bad situation--he is not an idiot. He's very intelligent and mature, and he understands the stakes that he's up against but choses that kindness anyway, and that says something), we can't say the same about canon and Pure Vanilla.

Because Pure Vanilla is being treated like that in canon. He's being treated as somebody who is too kind for his own good, who is too sweet and innocent and hopeful. And I understand that he was the king of the Vanilla Kingdom--a kingdom of healers and saints--but god, you wouldn't even be able to tell that he's a king just based on how he acts.

He offers the opportunity for change again and again, and time and time again that olive branch is lit on fire. There is nothing wrong with that. There's something very bittersweet about those tragic elements. No.

What annoys me the most is how much of a pushover he is. He lacks the resolve and steadfastness that a king requires. He lets others do as they wish around him and to him, and he keeps secrets hidden under wraps despite possessing the Light of Truth. He perpetually tries to force a brighter outlook because he's nervous about stirring the pot, and he's nervous that by disagreeing with others, it'll cause further problems. He's a people pleaser. There's nothing wrong with that.

But it's how it's presented that aggravates me.

It's repetious, it's consistent, it's hypocritical to everything that Pure Vanilla is supposed to represent. Healers are not kind beacons of hope for those around them. They have seen many things--they've seen cookies seeping jam and witnessed broken sugarbones, seen burnt and scorched crust and heard the screams and moans of agony. They've dealt with sickness and poison in vastly varying degrees of severity. And--try as they might, alas--they cannot save everyone.

Every healer has blood--in this case, jam--on their hands. Healers have to be strong and confident in their abilities and what they have to do. They have to be able to tend to their patients with as much confidence as they can. They cannot falter. They cannot buckle under pressure. And most of all, they have to be willing to accept defeat--when they cannot find a cure, when the magic doesn't seem to help, when their patient is left with no other option. Whether it results in death or a permanent handicap, the consequences still exist--still exist.

Healers are not soft. They can be soft to their patients, and in many, many ways, that is good. But if they truly seek to heal, they have to be honest, and they have to be determined, and they have to be steadfast in analyzing their options. Healers do not have soft and smooth hands, and they are not weak. They are strong, and they are one of the prime foundations of a healthy kingdom.

But instead... instead, Pure Vanilla folds as soon as he is given some pressure. He keeps quiet to avoid confrontation. He struggles to break up arguments. He tries the same methods time and time again.

Pure Vanilla, as he's presented in canon, is a kind cookie. And there's nothing wrong with that. But he is not a king, and I don't understand how he ever was considered to be a good king.

Perhaps it comes from his shepherd days, peacefully tending the animals. But then again, sometimes you have to be rough when herding and tending animals, too. Have you ever seen somebody shear a sheep? You sort of have to wrestle them into submission so they don't move around and get themselves hurt.

...Sort of like doctors do.

But anyway. I digress.

#pure vanilla cookie #pure vanilla

[papabearbobbynash]

I agree that some people have been VERY weird about the couple dying and Buck getting the kid, but there's been a lot of confusion and change in the storyline about whether or not Buck was going to struggle so I don't think it's totally fair to say people are babying Buck and "ignoring" that he made this choice and is fine with it.

It was set up in the show and they said in multiple interviews that he was going to struggle, and the storyline could have been really good and dealt with the spare parts of it all and with him giving himself away to help others at the cost of himself. Who knows what the original plan was now, but the interviews saying Buck is fine with the decision and won't struggle are the complete opposite of what they were back in December, and I think that's why people hate the storyline so much. It's about the fact that it COULD have pushed Buck's arc forward into setting healthy boundaries for himself and instead, since he's not struggling at all and they've treated it like a joke, it's feeling like, what is even the point of this storyline? If there's no drama with Buck's decision, it's gotta come from somewhere and it looks like Connor is struggling now and some BTS look like Kameron maybe in the ambulance so it's all about them instead of character growth for a main character. That's why I'm annoyed with the arc, it's actually nothing about sperm donation at all and entirely about the show fumbling the storyline and then backtracking to just do nothing with it but waste time 🤷‍♀️

Hi again anon (who I suppose to be the same who asked for the link)

I actually mentioned the person was very mad when venting exactly due how they said these people with those theories were simply babying Buck. I believed this would annoy a lot of people who would read, also it's something I don't agree with (in this case).

However I do agree with the whole point about how those theories basically invalidade adoptive parents x bio parents (what is very relevant on Buck's character who's actual family, the one that is looking up for him and loving him, is the found family, not the biological one -excluding maddie-. It's also very relevant to other relationships in the show such as Henren and Denny, Buck and Christopher, Buck and the 118. Essentially on how blood doesn't mean family).

My main anger regarding this storyline was about how to me it didn't make any sense for Buck's character. The post (and some of the comments under) made me actually see how it could serve to Buck's development.

The new eyes I said, weren't entirely positive. I still think the storyline has it's very low points for example how they didn't show us Buck's mentality over his role at all and we had to rely on Oliver to actually believe on it. The way they pulled a comical side of it by making an episode about how Buck didn't cum for weeks, when they could have actually spread awareness over the sperm donation process. How they made the couple so damn antipathetic what is basically making the audience create antipathy over a couple who is trying to have a kid by the sperm donation process. How they wasted the opportunity of relating the decision to Buck's "born for spare parts" trauma, as they could make Buck finally choose to do it rather than others (his bip parents) making that choice for him.

The arc itself is far from being well executed, and people have all the right of being mad about it, because it could have been way better than it was.

Your view of the arc is completely valid, the post only happens to have made me understand how the arc was even a thing the writers thought it would work for Buck as a character, since I couldn't relate it to Buck as a character. Before, I was annoyed because i didn't understood what the arc had to do with Buck, now I see it mostly as possible lost potential even if they manage to end it in a decent note. (what is surely a progress regarding my initial feelings over this arc)

#911 on fox #911 spoilers #evan buckley #answered

[shannyeool]

Hypothesis 1:

The start-up will be recognized through utilizing strong marketing channels by advertising the mobile application in various social media platforms.

Testing:

Our target market commonly uses different social media platforms. These social media platforms will influence our target clients' shopping decisions as they develop and become more incorporated into their daily routines. With that statement, social media participation is critical for business marketing, particularly for new enterprises. Signing up and creating a page is straightforward and free, and managing it is simple. It enables the team to assist potential clients while also allowing for cost-effective startup expansion. As a result, by developing a strong social media following and brand, the company will attract and convert customers

Team Options:

There are many social platforms that our target market used. The following are the options of where we will be advertising our mobile application:

Facebook

2. Instagram

3. Twitter

Team Decision:

Our team decided to use numerous channels such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter because these three platforms are the most convenient and visible to use for our target market. As a result, the group decided to sign up for these platforms since we saw it as a tremendous opportunity to obtain public attention.

Hypothesis 2:

The start-up will gain capital and potential investors by convincing shop owners to be our business partners.

Testing:

Raising start-up capital is the most crucial component of developing a new business because it is what every business need. A startup will not be viable without finance. Entrepreneurs must consider a range of different things as they seek to launch their startups, including funding. Startups commonly raise funds from venture capitalists or their personal networks (e.g., family and friends). Asking or convincing shop owners is an excellent way to discover trustworthy investors.

Team Options:

The team approached many business owners near Central Mindanao University, such as food stalls, pharmacies, laundry shops, and so on. We asked a lot of shop owners who would be our business partners. Upon validation, some of them agreed to become our business partners since they believe it will be more convenient and easier not only for them but also for their consumers who do not have time to travel to the market. Some of them, however, disagreed, claiming that they would pay fees for the service that we would offer.

Team Decision:

Our team decided to offer our services to all businesses around CMU instead of focusing on specific businesses. Those shop owners who agreed will be our business partners/investors.

Lessons/Reflection:

During the lecture series, I have learned that in this area of work, many aspects come into play and ideas must be backed and rethought often in order to be realistic. A business is more than just a bright idea. However, it takes a lot of resources and ongoing preparation with multiple adjustments to get it to function. However, just because it works does not mean that innovation or adaptation ends. Moreover, businesses naturally become more complex as they grow, so it's vital to continuously look for ways to simplify them. Learnings can be used to improve existing projects and their succeeding phases. Education can begin at any stage during the project and does not have to wait until it is completed. Thus, lessons can be found at any stage of the project.

[leadershipstrengths1]

Week 2

The five leadership strengths that I am going to share are Agreeableness, emotional stability, Power and authority, collaboration, and strategy.

Agreeableness: Agreeableness is all about letting your teammates discuss their goals and agreeing to the one which is good. This helps me to build faith in the team and it gives a sense to them that they are being listened to. That helps to build morale in the team if I am leading the team.

If I am leading a team in the future, I will use this skill to build more trust in the team. I will agree with the things that my teammates suggested. Being agreeable to each other builds trust and connection.

Emotional stability: This means that I can understand the emotional stage of the person I am interacting with. That will help me to understand more about my team member and I can utilize their skills to complete shared goals.

For instance, if my teammate is not performing the task, as usual, I would know that something is wrong. I will talk to the person and get to know about the problem and will help him/her to overcome that.

Power and authority: This means that I am taking full control of the team and I am responsible for the tasks they complete, and I am responsible to help them to perform well. I can use this power to channel the energy of the team in one direction.

If my team at my work is not performing well and they are being distracted, I can use my authority to guide them and use their potential to the most ensuring that they do not feel exploited.

Collaboration: This refers to the support provided by the leader to his/her team. Collaboration helps the team to complete their tasks to finish in time and with a lot of efficiency. Collaboration allows a team to form a bond and learn new things from each other

I will help the team in every aspect and in any field whether at work or at school. Also, at present, If I get any chance to work with the team at the ground level, L does not lose the opportunity to participate.

Strategy: According to me, strategy is very important for a leadership role. A good strategy can help a leader to grow with the team. A great leader always believes in good plans and implementing the same. A strategy can help the wastage of the skills and the energy of the team, and it helps to accomplish a task with fewer errors.

I can use this skill to boost the performance of my team in the future. Whether it is a workplace or any other sector, I can use the strategy to complete tasks and guide my team through the process.

The one skill that I implemented was the strategy skill. I used this skill in my workspace. As I mentioned earlier in blogs, I am working in a real estate firm as a marketing specialist. Every day we have meetings and drills. Due to the interest rate hikes, the market was really slowing down, and the marketing team was facing a high cost in advertising. We were asked to track down everything and implement a creative strategy. I took the initiative and in 2 days I proposed the plan to the team. The team was really impressed but at the same time, they were confused if that would work. I told them that we can change the strategy really easily if the current one does not work. The strategy was focused on distributing the tasks. After 2 days the strategy was going well but the cost was still really high. Then I changed the strategy. We changed total 3 strategies in total and the third one worked really well. The team was really appreciated, and I was told b, my manager, that I worked really well. I learned that we should always be testing. There are a lot of different situations where our normal strategies don’t work. We should always be testing new strategies and implementing the one which is working well. Also, I learned that we should be flexible regarding our strategies and our decisions. We should not stick to one routine and plan.

#leadership #strength #business #marketing #entrepreneur

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Do you think that all of the trauma that Loki has gone through will even be outright addressed and recognized, at least by Thor/the avengers?

I wanted to wait until the second episode to answer this, because I wanted to make sure I had a good idea of where the show looked like it was gonna go before finalizing my thoughts--and then life happened so I got delayed. Thanks for waiting!

After episode one, there were essentially two options available to the show. Firstly, they could have kept Loki's past as a more prevalent theme, with the footage of Prime!Loki serving as the opening into exploring the trauma Loki had experienced with Thanos. Or, secondly, they could do what they actually did, and used the footage as an unofficial wrap-up of the Prime!Loki's timeline (since they moved beyond it in episode two, making only a small reference to Ragnarok without delving deeply into it).

Because of that, I would say no, it's unlikely we're going to see Loki's trauma explored super deeply--certainly the Avengers and Thor will not acknowledge it. That would be going backwards, bringing back characters from a chapter we've already closed; this series wants to push Loki forward. This means breaking new ground and giving Loki new experiences (and perhaps, new traumas--but I don't think so).

Now to be clear, I fully believe the Loki series is going to be about Loki healing. That's part of bringing his character forward--Loki has never been allowed the chance to heal before, never had the space to process his emotions like he did in episode one, never had, really, the chance to grow. He was, as Mobius said, both in-universe and from a larger MCU writing perspective, simply there to allow other people to achieve the best versions of themselves; this precluded him from really having space to do that himself. Now, he finally has that opportunity: he's out from under the shadow of Thanos, and instead of being imprisoned and eventually killed, he has an unknown future ahead of him. He's learning to be free. He even has a bit of hope. That's the thing the series is going to focus on, because Loki as a character needs to grow and to change in a positive way in order to be reintegrated into the MCU. He can't be a copy-paste of who he was, obviously, but we also can't spend too much time dwelling on who he had been, because it won't make for a series that feels new or a lead character that can carry a show.

Additionally, letting Loki grow without getting explicit apologies or acknowledgement from the people in his past sends a message that I think it's good for us to hear. I'm someone who relates to Loki a lot, and it's nice to be reminded that even if the people who have hurt me never see the error of their ways and never give me that closure, I do not need to be defined by that. I have a future and can grow without them, because I am strong enough to do so. To use Loki's words: "You do not get to decide how my story ends!" I think often we are too reliant on others to make amends that we lose that ability to mend ourselves. And it's nice to see a message--unintentional or no--that encourages me to believe I have a future of my own.

So long story short: for as much as I'd like to see it, no, I don't think Loki's trauma will be directly acknowledged. We may see it mentioned or even get a few scenes á la episode one that explore it slightly, but ultimately, the series is more interested in finally growing Loki than they are in diving into the previously-underutilized background they had already given him. And for the show to succeed, that's kind of what they have to do--so, for as clumsy as it feels at times, I'm actually happy they're doing this. I loved Loki as he was, but I am hopeful that we'll have even more to love as the series goes on!

#loki #loki series #marvel #loki series spoilers #responses aka the ramblings of my brain #kay can i just catch my breath for a second #meta #my meta posts #this is not to say that i 100% love how they've been handling this--i for one would have LOVED to see (at long last!) a canonization of... #...all of the trauma loki had to endure especially as it regards thanos #but like i said at the end despite how i as a fan would have loved to see these things and despite how it may at times feel careless to... #...leave them out in a way i am happy that we are moving forward and breaking new ground for him #because it reminds me that i can move on too you know? #and i do think there is something to be said for developing him in new ways as he has been so underused for so long #there's a lot of potential and opportunity there and i completely agree with the decision to take advantage of that (finally)! #quality meta seal of approval #not to hype my own post up i just put that on all meta posts so that i can find them

[greensaplinggrace]

do you have any darklina fic recs?

I certainly have a few! But first I want to clarify that I don’t really read fic when I’m writing it, and since I have so many fics in the works right now, I haven’t really been reading a lot of fanfiction. So this list probably won’t be as extensive as it could be.

Here are some other great fic recommendation posts, however:

DARKLINA FIC RECS by @vicioux

DARKLINA FIC RECS // part ii by @vicioux

Darklina Ruling the World Together Fic Recs by @clubofthestarlesssaint

Tumblr Ficlets

Aleksander’s First Memory by @kestrafagnor

Fivan Talk About Darklina by @jomiddlemarch

a little light in the great, big dark by @valkyrhys

Alina tells Mal she’s with Aleksander by @lorsanbitch

Darklina week day 5: intimacy & touch by @starlesscne

AO3 Fanfiction

if it ain’t me by larry_hystereks (Incomplete - 10/13 Chapters)

alina’s in her second year at Yale when she meets aleksander at one of his frat parties.

a hookup with the potential for more, only if alina wasn’t still struggling to piece herself together from last year’s breakup.

or: alina, zoya, their trust issues, and the men that fall for them

---

I’m only at about chapter 6 of this fic currently, but so far it’s one of my all time favorite Modern AUs. The characterization for Alina and Aleksander is incredibly well done, and the entire fic itself is so feminist and queer in such a refreshing way. Aleksander and Alina are bisexual as fuck, both with their own separate complex lives, and much of Alina’s own traumas and relationships are explored outside of Aleksander.

There’s some Zoyalina, with Nikolina friendship and endgame Zoyalai. There’s some mystery and some tension, but nothing too extreme, and a lot of the fic is merely an exploration in growth and overcoming one’s history and learning how to move on in healthy ways. I love it.

She Wears a Collar (With My Name) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

She is immortal, and whatever lingering hints of humanity she may have once had have long been bleached from her heart.

I will grant you one wish, boy, if it is in my power to do so. What does a Shadow Smith most want?

"You," he answers.

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 2: Role Reversal

---

This piece is just exquisite. This author’s writing style is one that I particularly enjoy. Their stuff is always so uniquely composed and crafted, and this one especially is a work of art. The way Darklina as a relationship is portrayed in particular is fascinating to me because it’s a role reversal but it’s still so complex. Aleksander’s character is nailed.

the bright sun was extinguish’d by athousandwinds (Complete)

Somewhere, deep in the dark forests of Ravka, a boy grows up on stories of Sankta Alina of the Wastes, the Sun-Scorched Saint.

---

This fic is just straight up magnificent. It’s so engaging and I love love love the way a role reversed Aleksander who joins the army is portrayed. He reminds me so much of Demon in the Woods Aleksander, as if he’s exactly what a grown version of that young boy would be. When I say I adore his characterization in this I’m not lying.

If I wanted any completed fic I’ve read to have a second chapter, it would be this one.

Winter in the Little Palace by redisxwing (Complete)

Written for Yuletide 2020.

Baghra and Alina's wildly different perspectives on the Darkling, and how things could have gone if nobody listened to Baghra.

Warning: Baghra is written as a harsh and arguably abusive parent, and this is darkfic about that relationship, with a side of shipping. Everything is terrible (except the parts that are pretty much okay).

Canon divergence pretty much as soon as Alina gets lessons in summoning.

This fic is likely not compatible with King of Scars (or any subsequent work).

---

As is said in the summary, this one makes Baghra a bit more extreme. If you’re a fan of Baghra, this fic probably isn’t for you. But since I’m not a fan of Baghra, I had no problems with it.

My biggest praise for this fic is in regards to the character interactions and the POVs. There’s a brilliant grasp of unique perspective and how to convey it, and that talent is carried over into the way character interactions are brought to life in the text. Also, there’s a scene where Alina gets kind of protective of the Darkling, which is one of my biggest weaknesses when it comes to Darklina.

Good Ideas by FelixRivers (Complete)

Alina Starkov had a very good idea. Aleksander Morozova would definitely agree. (or: Alina wants to go camping and Aleksander won't complain)

---

This fic is just straight up adorable and hilarious. They’re such a cute couple and Alina’s POV is great. It’s just pure fluff and humor 💕

I’m not a bad girl, but I do bad things with you by SanktaJenya - @sankta-arya (Complete)

Winter had been hard on Old Baghra and Ana Kuya was worried about her, so she decided that Alina should make the trip to her cottage on the other side of the woods to bring her some food and kvas. On her way there, Alina meets a stranger...

Darklina Red Riding Hood/Company of Wolves AU

Darklina Week, Day 4, Fairytales

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This fic has a splendid grasp of tension and atmosphere. It’s very enchanting and dark and intriguing, and it nails those aspects with absolute precision. I love the style and the way the fairytale is incorporated into the narrative. It’s truly a masterpiece.

The Wretched by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“We are strangers, but I want to help.” He growls at her, mocking and mistrustful. “I understand,” she said. “You think I am one of them. I certainly look like one of them. But I want to help you. Will you let me?” Prompt: fairytale. Alina saves a dragon.

---

Okay so I’ve mentioned this one before as one of my Top 5 fics of all time and I still stand by that. I can’t even describe why I love this fic so much except that the pacing is amazing and the prose is stunning and the story is beautiful. Aleksander is a dragon and Alina is a witch, and their relationship is just so...interesting and fascinating and lovely. I would literally kill for this fic. There’s such a softness to it as well. Such a tenderness. Idk, I just really love it.

Show Me Who You Are (I Want To Know) by Ceris_Malfoy (Incomplete - 12/?)

Alina takes her future in her own hands and makes her own decisions.

---

This is a great “what if Alina had stuck around after the reveal” rewrite. It doesn’t have Mal bashing and in fact still writes them as close friends, which is something I’m fond of in Darklina fics. Aleksander is allowed to be soft and Alina is allowed to be powerful, and I really enjoyed the take on their dynamics as a power couple wherein Alina is given a lot of control.

There’s something to be said for the way Aleksander is written in the scenes where he must be honest and earnest with Alina. I really enjoy the way they both come to equal ground, and I’m even more fond of the way Alina is allowed to grow darker without losing her light. She also engages a lot with quite a few other characters, developing tons of friendships and alliances on her own that help strengthen her as an individual character.

on this bridge between starshine and clay by @rhea-imagined (Complete)

"His breath narrows for a moment, his fist clenched tight before he forces himself to loosen it. She is his only opportunity for salvation, but vulnerability is not a cape he wears easily. “In those days, there was less prejudice against Shadow Summoners. But everyone fears the dark, in one way or another.” He does not look at her as he waits for the penny to drop, half-hoping it stays suspended in the air."

In which Alexander comes clean to Alina and tells her about his true identity in hopes that this will help convince her to take down the Fold.

A rewrite of the fountain scene in episode four, with a good!Darkling that is trying to make amends.

---

This is my all-time favorite good!Aleksander AU. He’s kept in character despite the major changes made to his motivations, and Alina is given a lot more agency in her own story. It’s the first fic in what might become a series, but it can stand alone beautifully.

I love how Aleksander and Alina’s relationship is allowed to grow tense without breaking, and how it’s a clear sign of change but not abandonment. I love how both characters are able to think for themselves and become self-aware and are given the chance to think critically. I love the character interaction so much because it’s honest and fresh and engaging. Everything from the smallest action to the most off-hand thought is in character and meaningful and incorporated with an amazing style of writing. It’s a very refreshing piece, and the writing only makes it that much better.

Bunnies of a Feather Stitch Together by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Just as Alina called to the light, gathering and twisting it into a ball in her hands, the door swung open.

Kirigan blacked out the door frame. His appearance enough would have surprised Alina, but there was something clutched in his arm, something dark and floppy. It almost looked like the stuffed toys that had been passed around to the younger Orphans." - Alina and The Darkling bond over a love of soft things

---

Soft stuffed animal shenanigans. Bits of trans!Aleksander, which I’m very fond of, as well as just a lot of fluff with a bit of something bittersweet and sad in a good way.

Half Lie by Ill_Ratte (Complete)

"Baghra always talked of the demon that had stolen her daughter." Or, Alina learns the hard way that the Darkling isn't the only one who deals in half-truths

---

This one is trans!Aleksander, and it handles it in a very interesting way. It’s quite sad, and deals a lot with Baghra & Aleksander’s relationship through Alina’s POV. I want to give a warning for transphobia, because it does center around that a lot as the premise, but it really is worth the read if that isn’t a trigger for you. This is one of my favorite trans!Aleksander fics, and the way it handles emotion and grief and pain is quite extraordinary.

The CEO and Helioseismologist by mrthology (Complete)

Aleksander Morozova doesn't get sick. He's the CEO of one of the most successful companies in the world, one that he had built from the ground up with blood, sweat, and tears. He exercised daily (usually), maintained a healthy diet, and kept himself fit.

He wasn’t sick.

Too bad no one believed him. And too bad Genya decided to call Ivan to take him home before also calling Alina to take care of him.

Maybe, just maybe, being sick wasn't so bad. Especially not when he has such a wonderful girlfriend.

---

Both of the fics in this series are great, but I love this one in particular because I’m an absolute sucker for hurt/comfort. Anyone who’s been on my blog for a while knows that it’s my all time favorite trope to read, and this fic fits the hurt/comfort trope to a T in the best of ways. It’s very tender and in character, and Aleksander and Alina are so soft with each other. It’s adorable and really makes you feel for Aleksander, and the caretaking is done perfectly.

All the different layers of dark (thousand little suns) by Anuna (Complete)

One month after the Winter Fete, Aleksander returns to the Little Palace, and Alina has been missing him.

Or

Episode five canon divergence in which Alina had never left Os Alta.

---

This one is soft emotional hurt/comfort smut. They’re both so open and vulnerable with each other, and it’s so beautiful to read. I love the writing style and the emotion in this one. It makes my heart ache in the best way.

An Honourable Man by liviy695 (Complete)

A reimagining of the scene after the winter fete. Alina catches a glimpse of a caring Darkling after he returns from integrating the Conductor. Plus, no Baghra interference.

---

This one is what it says on the tin, in that Baghra doesn’t interfere and they’re allowed to talk after the Darkling interrogates the Conductor. But more than that, it’s a great imagining of how a scene where Aleksander reveals Marie’s death would have gone. There’s a sort of quiet to it that I appreciate, with grief and solemnity weighed against care and vulnerability.

I see the real you (even if you don’t, I do) by Anonymous (Incomplete - 8/?)

A series of questionable decisions lead Alina to meet the Black General a bit earlier. Butterfly effect ensues.

---

I’ve only read half so far (I hadn’t realized it had updated!! 👀👀) but I’m already in love with this fic. Alina’s dialogue and perspective is perfect, her relationship with Mal and the other cartographers is great, and I really enjoy how much personality she has. Aleksander is so smitten, but more than that, his characterization is soft but not weak. It feels almost as if he’s swept up by Alina, instead of the other way around, and I quite like that.

Of parenting by Anuna (Complete)

Alina finds out how her husband handled yet another parenting situation.

---

This is pure adorable Darklina parenting fluff and I live for it. Yet it doesn’t lack depth and in fact explored Alina and Aleksander’s relationship with parenting quite well.

i have a longing by LRCee - @ladylyannastark (Complete)

“So, Alina Starkov, risk-taker, how did you end up being editing’s newest wunderkind?”

Alina Starkov is rising in the publishing world. Singlehandedly responsible for editing (see: rewriting) the hottest book of the year, she lands a coveted spot at Morovoz Publishers. It's the position she's always wanted, at the biggest publishing house in the country. Life is perfect. That crush on her boss though, that's gotta go.

---

OKAY! I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH!! Let me tell you, as someone who is not too fond of Boss/Employee dynamics, I was very wary going into this fic. But boy did it deliver in a way that was perfect for me.

The relationship that develops between Aleksander and Alina is complex but healthy, and it never feels as if there’s too much of a power imbalance or anything that would make Alina feel forced or unhappy. The tension lies purely in how she fears others will perceive her, and not in how unhealthy her relationship with Aleksander is. For somebody who’s often attracted to unhealthy ships, I have to say that my favorite fics are usually ones that don’t have that type of dynamic between the characters. This fic delivers on that.

Also, Aleksander’s POV surrounding his struggle with his Russian heritage and his feelings for Alina is amazing, and has some of the best writing and characterization I’ve seen.

You receive: an evil demon; I receive: human souls by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

The next morning while she tried to tell herself it was a dream, that of course there wasn’t a fucking demon in her house, she found a note taped to her fridge.

“You might eat this shit,” it had written, “but I would like some fucking souls please.”

Darkling Week Prompt 7: free choice. Alina has a demon in her house.

This is absolute crack, and I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me.

---

May I just say that this is the most fun I’ve ever had when reading a fic. It’s interesting with a bit of mystery, and Aleksander as a little shit of a demon is hilarious. Alina in this fic is great too. It’s such a unique take on her POV, especially when you reread it after knowing the ending. 10000/10, this fic is brilliant in every way and I love it.

I had been lost to you, Sunlight by BrytteMystere (Complete)

A Girl became a Woman, became a Sankta, became a Goddess.

Or: An Immortal Alina calls upon merzost to reunite with the Prince of Shadows she lost long ago. She may have lost herself in the process.

But then again, maybe time and endless wars did that instead.

---

You really just have to read this one to get it. It is utterly haunting and fascinating in the best of ways. The writing style is strange and novel and fits so well with the story being told. The composition of the fic as a whole is genius.

I Look Inside Myself (And See My Heart Is Black) by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"When is a monster not a monster? Why, when you love it, of course."

Written for Darklina Week 2021 - Day 6: Favorite Quote • King & Queen • Monster

---

Once more, this author comes through with an absolutely breathtaking writing style and story. The imagery is elegant yet brutal, simultaneously horrifying and glorious. There’s a certain way these stories are written, like fairytales, where the beautiful becomes the macabre and becomes ever more stunning because of it. It’s very dark but in a good way - an almost bewitching way.

Afterlife by @aceofnowhere (Complete)

“You are asking me to leave?”

“Not asking, shadow,” she said. “Telling. Time to get unlost, loser.”

Day 3 Darklina Week prompt: Modern AU (I mean, barely)

Alina expels ghosts from purgatory.

---

@aceofnowhere once again bringing the best of the paranormal to the Grishaverse. Literally everything you write is amazing idk why I’m even pointing out individual fics when I could just rec your whole page. But anyways!! This is fun and interesting and Alina is a badass. Aleksander is, of course, compelling and dark and kind of a little shit, and it’s all incorporated seamlessly into an existential paranormal narrative.

Once Upon a Shooting Star by Ceris_Malfoy (Complete)

"But most of all, she was drawn to a vast darkness that reached out above all of them, a void so hungry for companionship that she knew she could fulfill."

---

Let. Alina. Be. Feral!! Anyways, I clearly have a type when it comes to storytelling, and it’s whatever the fuck this person has got going on. Feral!Star!Alina is literally the light of my life. Her interactions with not only other people but the world in general are so well done, but my favorite parts about this fic are the numerous ways her relationship with Aleksander is described and depicted.

I love the dark and light imagery, especially with how it’s portrayed as them filling in the gaps of each other’s lives and supporting each other instead of trying to block each other out. There’s such clear passion and joy and love and devotion between them. The central focus of this fic is on her and Aleksander’s relationship, the interplay between them and their powers and the way her light fills his loneliness, the passing of adoration and trust and reliance between them. It’s very beautiful and I love it.

A Blaze of Light by Keira_63 (Complete)

They discover the Sun Summoner in the burnt-out remains of the Shu laboratory in which she has spent the last seven years of her life.

Or, the Darkling finds himself with a Sun Summoner whose greatest wish is to burn Shu Han to the ground. He is happy to oblige her.

---

👀👀 Badass Alina and Badass Aleksander. The ultimate power couple, and Alina burning a path through Shu Han before they both burn a path through the world together. The darkness and rage in this one are handled very well, and the way that rage turns to coldness and then resolve is done so well. This fic is very cathartic and also very furious, and reading it is certainly a trip down emotion lane.

One more for the Road by Rist (Complete)

He returns to the war room shaken, and finds an Alina that cannot leave without at least having tried.

---

This one hurts so much but its soooo gooood!!! Very smutty but also very tender and very bittersweet. Sad and soft all at once. I just... love the way Alina and Aleksander are written so much, and Alina’s complicated feelings for him are explored in such detail and depth. This one is truly worth the read.

#darklina #sab #grishaverse #shadow and bone #aleksander morozova #the darkling #alina starkov #ficrecs #shadow and bone netflix #darklina fanfiction #darklina fic #alina x aleksander #alina x darkling #darklinafics #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone fic rec #fic rec #darklina fic rec #myramblings #asks and answers #anon #ty for the ask! <3 #okay thats it!! #i have more but i have to stop somewhere aljdflsakj

[obiwanobi]

I'm just so very enamored with the idea of Dooku als Obi-Wans Master at the moment. There are so many possibilities, I'm going crazy. I love your writing style and your ideas, so I would be so very happy to know your thoughts about this.

At first, I was going to say “oh, is this a nice AU where taking Obi-Wan as his padawan makes Dooku stay in the Order and the whole lineage is happier?” but then I thought, ‘wait, no, I’m only here to make a dramatic tragedy out of everything’ and I got really into it and wrote 2k about it 🤷‍♀️

So let’s say that Qui-Gon still takes Obi-Wan as his padawan first, and that’s how he meets his grandmaster, Dooku, who’s still a Jedi at this point in time.

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan aren’t a good match at first, and it’s the same, even a bit worse than that, in this AU: Obi-Wan might be grateful to have been chosen and be eager to learn, but their rocky start as a master and padawan duo and their very different approach to, well, basically everything, make things a bit awkward.

But Dooku? Obi-Wan adores Dooku.

Dooku is the antithesis of Qui-Gon; he is a fascinating orator, has a practical mind, favours a pragmatic approach to problems, and is also one of the best duellists in the Temple. And he’s almost certain that Dooku likes him too. His grandmaster might be intimidating at first (he’s even taller than master Jinn for Force’s sake,) but he also raised Qui-Gon, so the man has seen it all and can’t be surprised by anything anymore. When he comes to visit Qui-Gon, Dooku never forgets to ask Obi-Wan how his training is going, what form he likes the best (Obi-Wan doesn’t miss the opportunity to say that he finds Makashi particularly elegant and almost gets a smile in return) and one day, he even ends up helping him write a geopolitical paper about a planet Dooku has spent almost a year on. It warms Obi-Wan to feel a connection to their lineage when he doesn’t really understand his own master, and watching Dooku and Qui-Gon, two very different personalities, getting along so well, also gives him hope that he will one day have the same type of relationship with his master.

But then, Melida/Daan happens.

Obi-Wan decides to stay, and Qui-Gon leaves the planet with one less padawan. It takes a bit of time before Dooku manages to get Qui-Gon to talk about what happened and where is his favourite grandpadawan, but when he realises that Qui-Gon left Obi-Wan in a warzone, Dooku is outraged, and is on Melida/Daan three days later to formally ask Obi-Wan to reconsider leaving the Order. It takes a bit of time before Obi-Wan truly starts thinking about it, because “Master Jinn will never take me back. I’m very sorry, Master Dooku, but he was the only one who was willing to take me as his padawan. No one else will, especially now.” and Dooku scoffs, because he wouldn’t travel to the outer rim for anyone, and of course he’s planning to personally train him. He saw the potential in him, and would hate to see it go to waste. All of this if Obi-Wan can assure him that he won’t rebel at every opportunity, of course, because he won’t accept the betrayal of his trust. 

They both leave the planet together, as Master and Padawan. 

The next few months are... strenuous. Adapting to Dooku’s teaching methods is harder than Obi-Wan expected. His new master asks for discipline, practicality and complete control of oneself at all time, and doesn’t accept any nonsenses. It’s not something Obi-Wan really knows how to do after months with Qui-Gon “don’t think, just do” Jinn. There is also a new distance between Dooku and Qui-Gon that Obi-Wan knows is his fault, but can’t do much about it; he still hasn’t said more than two words to Qui-Gon since Melida/Daan (apologies that his master- former master accepted with a cordial bow and that was it) and is in no hurry to change that.

Nevertheless, Obi-Wan is happy. Dooku might be a bit snobbish, makes imperious demands and even disagrees with the Council just like his former padawan, but he also explains to Obi-Wan why his decisions and insistence on certain parts of his training are necessary, doesn’t shy away from philosophical questions about the Force or the Order (even if his opinion is sometimes bordering on blasphemy,) and is, after all, one of the most skilled Master in the Temple. He might be a severe figure of authority to everyone else, but his hidden smile at a witty remark from his padawan, or the use of a diplomatic loophole to get his way without having to ignite his lightsaber, always gets him a gentle hand on his shoulder and an almost-satisfied smile. It’s more than enough for him. 

And then, Qui-Gon brings Anakin Skywalker to the Temple.

Obi-Wan tries not to think too much about the rumours that say that he went all the way to the outer rim to get himself a new padawan. A padawan he chose this time. A padawan who’s the Chosen One.

 “Ridiculous,” Master Dooku scorns, his expression so dismissive that the few gossipy padawans (and knights!) around scatter in a second. “I saw the boy, and if this raggedy child is the Chosen One who’s supposed to save us all, we should all start building our own funeral pyre to save us some time.”

“Master, really,” Obi-Wan sighs, half-reprimand, half-amusement. He’s still glad his master shares his distaste with the idea of taking a child too old and too attached. 

And then, Qui-Gon Jinn almost dies on Naboo. 

The other Jedi that went with him doesn’t have the same luck. Dooku doesn’t huff and roll his eyes this time. He does spend a lot of time in the Halls of Healing at his former padawan’s bed. Apparently, Qui-Gon has been badly hurt, and if he should walk again soon, probably with a walking stick, he will never be able to maintain enough stamina to fight with a lightsaber again. It doesn’t stop him from wanting to train the boy, and even the Council and Dooku, for once on the same side, aren’t enough to dissuade him. 

And then, everything goes too fast. 

Obi-Wan is talking about possible hidden Sith in the galaxy at the breakfast table, and suddenly Dooku says “I’m leaving the Order”, and then he’s knighted by a master who tells him he’s glad his last accomplishment as a Jedi is something he’s proud of, and then his master leaves without a real explanation, and then they make a bust of him in the library like he’s dead, and Obi-Wan asks himself if he’s going to feel abandoned all his life. 

And then, Anakin Skywalker bumps into him. 

“You’re Obi-Wan!” he says way too loudly, looking up at him in wonder.

It’s Knight Kenobi to you, a voice that sounds suspiciously like his master echoes in his mind. But no matter how much Obi-Wan admires his master, he could never be as rigid as him.

“Master Qui-Gon said you were his padawan once,” Anakin says, excited, and Obi-Wan has never wanted to run from a conversation that badly before. “And that you were... the padawan of my... grandmaster? I think? So that means we’re sort of like cousins, right?”

“Not really, no. Jedi don’t think about the Order as a traditional family. I don’t mean that we’re not one, young one,” he adds when Anakin’s expression turns to dejection, “we just have a different approach to kinship. In a way, we’re all brothers and sisters.”

And that, of course, is the exact thing he shouldn't have said.

“So you’re my brother then? Wizard! I’ve never had a brother before! Does that mean you will spar with me? I want to learn EVERYTHING about lightsabers, for example, do they have unlimited energy? Can it really go through everything? Because I heard beskar—” 

Obi-Wan isn’t proud to say that he feels the urgent need to get away from him and never come in contact with that child ever again. 

But after their first encounter, Anakin doesn’t leave him any choice. Every time Obi-Wan gets some time off, the padawan is here, scarily good at annoying him until Obi-Wan gives up pretending to ignore him. 

He probably should be sterner with him. After all, he doesn’t own the child anything. But Anakin is always so happy to see him, impressed when Obi-Wan demonstrates the most acrobatic of Ataru’s movements, and eager to learn from him. Sometimes, he imagines Master Dooku’s face confronted with Anakin, and can’t help but laugh out loud.  It helps to forget the void Dooku left in his life for a time.

(There aren’t a lot of holos sent to him from Serenno these days. Dooku must be busy.)

“My master can’t fight,” Anakin says petulantly one day, plopping down on Obi-Wan’s couch like the sulky teenager he is, “He’s restricted to the Temple or boring political missions, and so am I because of him. All he does is tell me to meditate and make me ‘reflect on my feelings’, or whatever that means. How good can a master be if he can’t teach me to protect myself and others?” 

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan warns, kicking the padawan’s feet away from the caf table, “please tell me you didn’t say these exact insensitive words to your master right before slamming the door and coming here.” 

Of course he did, Obi-Wan thinks when Anakin starts a rant about being held back and how stupid meditation is. That night, Obi-Wan forces him to sincerely apologise to his master after a brief fight ("stop nagging at me, Obi-Wan! You’re not my master!” “Well, apparently, you don’t even respect your own master, so I’m very glad I’m not.”) and is just a bit stunned when he finds Qui-Gon Jinn on his doorstep a few days letter, asking him if he would agree to take Padawan Skywalker on his next off-world mission. 

Obi-Wan really, really wants to say no. He only taught Anakin a few Ataru moves that the lightsaber’s instructor normally doesn’t introduce until a few years later because Anakin wouldn’t accept a no from him, he never signed up to co-parent a defiant padawan! Especially Qui-Gon’s padawan. The entire conversation between them is already awkward enough.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“No?” Qui-Gon replies, sipping his tea like they’re discussing the weather. “You’ve done a good job at teaching him some rationality and a few duelling tricks until now. I haven’t been able to wield a lightsaber for a while now, but it’s hard to miss the handprint of my own master all over Anakin’s sudden blend of Ataru and Makashi in his movements.” Obi-Wan is pretty sure his ears and his face are burning by now. “Don’t you think he could benefit from some real experience? Maybe start to put things in perspective? Show him why the diplomatic skills and temperance we preach are so important even for the violent or difficult conflicts we’re asked to solve?” 

And really, what is he supposed to say to that? 

Qui-Gon leaves his quarters before he manages to gather the courage to ask why he chose him of all knights for this task. It really doesn’t make any sense to Obi-Wan.

The very next day, Anakin shows up at the hangar bay ready to see the stars, bag on his shoulder and enough excitement to make the whole ship vibrate under his feet. 

“If you cause problems on purpose, I’ll send you back to your master faster than you can say pod-racing.”

“I promise I won’t, Knight Kenobi,” Anakin replies, all angelic smile and respectful padawan face. It’s the first time Anakin has called him by his title, and somehow it sounds a bit wrong.

Anakin does end up causing problems on purpose. It’s ridiculous but also kind of genius, so Obi-Wan only shakes his head and says “you’re really going to be the death of me.”

And for some years, it works. Qui-Gon stays Anakin’s master, but he does send him to learn from other masters and knights. More and more, though, Anakin asks for Obi-Wan, and Qui-Gon rarely refuses.

“You two are the last people I thought would get along,” Mace Windu tells them a few successful missions later, after witnessing them bantering back and forth from their respective beds in the Halls of Healing. “Nonetheless, I’m glad you do. It’s good to see close lineages strengthening their bond to each other.”

Anakin blinks so many time at the compliment that Obi-Wan doesn’t hesitate a second before throwing his pillow at his face the second Windu leaves the room.

It’s a shame that Obi-Wan never manages to ask Qui-Gon about why he trusted him with his padawan. 

Because Qui-Gon dies on Geonosis. 

He shouldn’t have been there, Obi-Wan and Anakin keep saying. But they both know that you can’t stop Qui-Gon Jinn to do what he wants. He shouldn’t have gone to Kamino by himself, he shouldn’t have followed the bounty hunter to Geonosis, He shouldn’t have been in this arena, he shouldn’t have been killed before the help has come. He shouldn’t have died right in front of his former master— because of his former master. 

Anakin’s master died that day, but when Obi-Wan saw Master Dooku ordering the attack on the Jedi, he felt like he was losing two masters at the same time. 

Now there is a war coming, and the Council is talking about Master Dooku being a Sith, and he should stop saying Master Dooku, he knows, and people are asking how good can a Jedi be when raised by a traitor, and Yoda is talking to him about knighting Anakin and what he thinks about it like he’s his master now, and Anakin refuses to talk to him, and that probably has to do with the fact that he lost an arm and a father-figure to Obi-Wan’s master, and Obi-Wan would like to sleep for an entire year now, thank you very much. 

#dooku and anakin: hate at first sight #can I make obi-wan's life more depressing? the answer is yes #obi wan kenobi #dooku #qui gon jinn #anakin skywalker #clem's aus #asks #anon #dooku and kenobi au

[writingwithcolor]

Hi! I’m writing a comic where one main character is Jewish and the other main character (her ex/love interest) isn’t and at a point he’s near-fatally injured and I was wondering how/if she would pray for his recovery? (Also kinda unrelated but I do think it’s important, if a Jewish character is speaking or thinking and they say/think god would it be spelt like “G-d”? Asking because Jewish creators I follow on things like tiktok and youtube spell it like that in the CC of their videos)

Jewish character prays for recovery of another character, and the spelling of God/G-d

The healing prayer is called Misheberach and here is a text:

Mi Shebeirach - Prayer for Healing

You don't need to bleep out the “o” when you write God. We do that (or some of us do, anyway -- I don't bc to me the word 'god' is not the same as The Name but just an English word, but obviously I'm in the minority here) because according to our beliefs if you write the name of God on a piece of paper it sanctifies the paper and that turns into a whole thing bc that means when it's time to dispose of the paper you can't just recycle it you have to give it a proper burial and who wants to deal with that every five seconds, right? So someone thinking that in their heads doesn't do anything to any physical object and also if those aren't your beliefs then you don't need to change the way you write.

--Shira

Agree with this, also if she usually says the weekday Amidah there is a part where you can insert a prayer for the sick:

Specified text above reads:

HEALTH AND HEALING

Heal us, HASHEM - Then we will be healed;* save us - then we will be saved, for You are our praise. Bring complete recovery for all our ailments, for You are God, King, the faithful and compassionate Healer. Blessed are you, HASHEM, Who heals the sick of His people Israel.

* At this point one may interject a prayer for one who is ill:

May it be Your will, HASHEM, my God, and the God of my forefathers, that You quickly send a complete recovery from heaven, spiritual healing and physical healing to the patient [Name] son/daughter of [mother’s name] among the other patients of Israel.

--Shoshi

The Mi Sheberach is usually a communal prayer, but people have been using it in settings like you are describing for a long time, possibly since its creation.

I have prayed for the recovery of two secular Jewish people in my life. Once I did it without asking, and once having discussed it beforehand. Now, your character's love interest isn't Jewish, so things are a little different, but I can tell you that when I prayed without asking, I felt guilty. As though I had taken the person's agency away when it came to religious decisions. I spoke to the person after (it was my husband, and it was a hospital-room panic move on my part), let him know what I had done, and apologized for not thinking to ask first. It turned out that it was fine with him, but he appreciated me discussing it with him, since he is secular, and it's important not to just decide religious things for people.

When another secular family member became ill, I had the opportunity to ask if he wanted me to say Mi Sheberach for him, and he agreed, so I took that on guilt-free. When dealing with issues of religious consent, and interfaith (or differing observance) relationships, feelings can get complicated. Just something to keep in mind as you write your scene.

-- Dierdra

Commentary

@terulakimban said: The above are relatively formal options. Other things that are possible: saying or reading tehillim (Psalms) while thinking about the injured (this one is a common custom) and saying his name on Thursday/Friday while separating and burning her challah (or asking someone observant enough to follow both those traditions to do so). Those are more “while he’s in the hospital” type things. If you need a “he is bleeding out in front of her and she is freaking out and defaults to prayer”-type of prayer, another option is a very angry potentially one-sided conversation with G-d, either in her head or out loud.

@captainlordauditor said: I personally will only tell/ask about saying Mi Sheberach for someone if I'm not sure what their Hebrew name is. For nonJews and people I know well I'll just say it. Asking feels like I'm trying to make it about me or perform my religion for their image of me and not for Gd.

@fluencca said: I'd also like to pitch a "tehil" or two... i.e., psalms. lots of people read psalms as a generic "pray for someone sick", while they're in surgery or whateve, rather than read "mi she'berach" over and over again. There are 150 psalms, so it's also a calming act that takes time and serves as a ditraction (they're very poetic, as well, and the right psalm can resonate very meaningfully)

#icy-cat-girl #Jewish #Jewish prayer #Judaism #God #Mi Sheberach #asks