#there are so many things I want to ramble about when it comes to this fucker but

[ronintales]

ೃ₊ 🌾 ❝ So When I Die ❞ ╰►, Gojo Satoru

𝐒𝐘𝐏𝐍𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐒 | following gojo satoru’s death, his ex wife is in charge of taking care of his funeral service and everything else that comes with it.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 | 4,676 words

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | character death, possible spoilers, funeral, angst, and not proofread ;p

 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 | I did NAWT want this to be my first work on here but due to certain circumstances…. AHEM his DEATH!!!! I felt it was necessary because laik… grief LOL. I wrote this a while back tho. Enjoy.

꒰ 💌 ꒱ ♡ ༘° 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓, gojo satoru …

Your ex-husband is dead, and in his line of work, yes, you know that he has a higher risk of dying than the average person, but still, death never comes expected, does it? Even if he always says—oh wait… used to, you suppose, say that he was crazy strong and no one could ever take him down. Well, he was wrong in the end like a bunch of other things. Like how well he took care of you, how he’d give you six kids, how—you won’t ramble, noting he’s dead now and there’s no point, but also because it’s quite rude of you to talk down on someone who is dead and can’t defend themselves. Whatever.

You just… don’t expect it. Yes, you understood he was hard headed and insanely cocky, but in a way… you always believed that he would always come home alive and, even if he did get hurt, he would be okay eventually as he heals. You don’t forget it, he’s only human, you know because of the many mistakes he’s made, but still… he’s… he’s gone?

You hesitated when you heard that. Gojo Satoru, the so-called love of your life from two years ago, is dead? Impossible, you think. Gojo Satoru found death embarrassing, with all the things he said. He said that he would be okay. He was always okay. What are you supposed to say to that?

When you get the call, you wonder why you, of all the people in his life, were the one they called to inform about his status. Why did you have to go to his place and clean out all his things? Take all his belongings with you? At first, your instinct was to say “throw it all away,” because what does Gojo Satoru mean to you now? You’re not his wife! He neglected you for years and filled your days and nights with sorrows. He broke your heart. But still, he didn’t mean nothing to you at the same time.

Those precious years of being his acquaintance in middle school. When you had shorter hair and he didn’t know much about you other than you were in his class and he had bought you cute white socks for your class gift exchange on Christmas that year. The long years that Gojo Satoru pined for you after you both attended the same high school. The hard and dark times he went through losing Suguru and shutting you out, though he loved you for so long. When you turned twenty, and Satoru had gotten better, to the point where he felt he was ready to move on and continue with his pursuit for you. When you turned twenty-three, and got married to him on a spur. When you moved in and shared a bed, until the marriage got cold and most nights you spent alone.

You couldn’t say for the past fourteen years, Gojo Satoru was nothing at all to you. The news was shocking, and knowing he was dead… did you have to be careful about how you felt about him, or how you thought of him? Well, now that he is dead, should you be so ruthless and hostile toward the man who broke your heart? You don’t know, so naturally, and it really just slips out, you agree to take care of the process of his passing.

For the most part, you’re calm. You don’t actually know how to feel, and you don’t know how to be. You’re not his wife, you have no obligations to take care of him, or anything that he cared about. Yet, you’re here. In his lonely apartment that doesn’t even smell like him. He probably never even spent much time in this place, even so, he still had a lot of belongings. Pictures of you in frames surprisingly. He did take them all when you got divorced and he moved out of the house, you just didn’t expect that he’d put them up on display. He probably didn’t get many visitors to question him about the lady in his pictures. You were sure that would get annoying.

Anyway, you don’t know if you’re supposed to cry or even feel sad. You don’t know if it’s strange to feel that way or not. You can’t quite make out how you feel, being surrounded by Gojo Satoru’s personality and things. You don’t think too much about the things inside the apartment because you don’t want to be too reminded of what you used to be. What you felt about the man once upon a time. If there was still love in your heart for him.

Gojo Satoru wasn’t a slob, but he wasn’t clean either by any means. Given he probably didn’t stay here much, it made sense that you didn’t need to clean a whole lot of the apartment. You get there and you take it all in. Satoru’s little apartment, because he didn’t want to pay for such a luxurious place he wouldn’t even stay in. Maybe that kind of place made him feel more alone too. Thoughts you should not be thinking start to trickle into your brain, but you stop yourself. You shouldn’t feel bad for leaving, nor should you want to go back. You made a decision to leave and you should honor it. It was the right thing to do for yourself (hopefully).

Do you even want his things? No, not really. But you have a keep, donate, and a throw away bin anyway. Most of it keeps going to the keep bin and donation box. Somehow the feeling of someone else getting Gojo Satoru’s things is unsettling to you, but it’s even worse to think that all these things will just go to a landfill where things that were once valued are forgotten and it’s all going to be considered “trash.” Maybe that’s because you know why every item is there and the story behind that certain mug or decor piece. You don’t know it, but you’re trying your best not to care.

You sigh, the thought that this is all so strange, bothering and pestering you like an annoying fly. You tell yourself you know that already, so stop thinking about it. Maybe you’re in denial that Gojo Satoru is actually gone. You can feel him. He’s still there, you know it. That or you’re just surrounded by his belongings and that’s why his presence is here.

In your hand, you hold a big black garbage bag as you make your way to his bedroom to clear out his closet. This is a room of his that you haven’t been to, strange right? You wondered if another woman spent time here. Jealous much? You’re supposed to be clearing out your ex-husband’s apartment, not pondering about what he was up to after you two had split. The man is dead for one, what are you going to do about it? Confront his dead body? You shouldn’t be thinking about things like that, so that thought is one you shake off and ignore too.

You sigh because you’re tired from cleaning all day and clearing his things out and you’re probably only a quarter’s way done with the place. It’s not even that big, it’s just been uncomfortably hard for you to bring yourself here with your mixed and strange feelings about this whole situation. Isn’t there anyone else who cares about Gojo Satoru? How come you’re stepping up to the plate when this is how you feel—confused and unsure? What are you even going to do for the funeral? You took the task up because Gojo Satoru would probably turn in his grave knowing the higher ups organized his funeral. So while it is strange for you to do all of this, you’ve rationalized the lot of this situation that you put yourself in. Once upon a time, he loved you right? So surely he would prefer you over—you’re so silly, thinking all these things when Gojo Satoru is your dead ex-husband.

You plop on the bed with a small groan as you turn over. This is a bit inappropriate, to be laying on your ex husband’s unmade bed. It’s left in the state that it was the last time he woke up. That’s a little precious you think, freely, not even denying it. Are you ruining this precious thing here? Well, in all honesty, you’re kind of cherishing it, because this is a small piece of Satoru that is really still here in the present times. He always liked soft things and this blanket is soft. The sheets still smell like your ex-husband. The light musk of his skin and his soap is there. The thought of this bed being his is comfortable enough. Like you miss his warmth and touch, you curl up on the mattress, hugging yourself to the scent of him surrounding, and you can almost imagine that he’s holding you right now, like he used to. His detergent is faintly there too, well actually, it’s the same as yours. He asked when you two had split and he was settling into his own place all the household items you used. You supposed that it was all he knew.

You offered to go shop for household things with him and it was probably the last time you two had exchanged any kind of affection. You let him put his hand on your thigh as he drove you two to the supermarket. He let you link your arm with his, sides flush together like you two didn’t just get divorced. It was a silent message of “I miss you,” because it was and—quite frankly, still is—hard to get over someone you loved for so long. Even if he left the marriage long before you did, emotionally and physically. This was something you wanted while you married, for Satoru to present, and in your arms. For him to show you that he cared and loved you. You were even a little upset that was the only time he was doing all of that for you, but you chose not to ruin the moment for the both of you.

Funny how all these memories and things between the two of you are flooding in constantly. It makes you feel kind of sick. Nauseous and unable to breathe. You open your eyes in realization of what you’re doing right now. You sit up immediately, flustered and embarrassed as if Satoru would open the door right now and have that annoying smug grin on his face with his arms crossed, just to say as he leans on the door frame, “I knew you missed me.” Following with your name because he liked your name the best. He always said your name was pretty and he wouldn’t give you a pet name because nothing will ever be as great as calling you by your name. A nice little reminder that Satoru loved your name makes you smile a bit. Weird how all of these just keep piling up. One thought triggers another and it almost makes you itch and feel bad for the way things ended between the two of you. You almost have regrets about—

Whatever, you have a deadline to clean this place up you remind yourself. You spread your palms out on the sheets once more, feeling every thread that Satoru once laid his body on. You should take these for your bed, you think. They’re not so bad, just a plain white sheet, but it reminds you of Satoru’s hair and it would be waste.You lift yourself from the bed and open his closet, not even noticing how you keep having to make excuses for yourself to keep some of his things.

Already feeling overwhelmed because you keep holding back, opening the closet makes you feel like you’re cracking. You let out a suppressed sound. You can’t even register what it sounds like. A squeak or something? But looking at all his clothes almost makes everything so real for you. All his uniform? All his coats and sweaters? Ah, the one from high school. And then you can see all the ones you bought him. Damn, does that really test your strength.

Lined up neatly and nicely put away, it’s almost a shame to you to give these away. Your hand shakes as you hesitantly reach for one of his favorite button ups. Your skin meets the soft fabric and you only lightly touch it because you don’t want to wrinkle it. You remember when you used to iron Satoru’s clothes early in the morning before he woke up. Even until the end of your marriage, you still ironed them.

You look up, reaching for his work uniform. This is what he wore most often, you know that. So you let yourself crumble. Carefully taking off the hanger and sitting on his bed as you hold the shirt close to you. You bring it to your nose, just to smell it. You wish it smelled like Satoru more, but even so, it makes you break down.

Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes as you take another sniff. The thought that Satoru really isn’t here anymore makes your heartbreak. It comes crashing down on you. You really miss him, and you regret that you didn’t spend as much time as you would have liked to with him. You wish you could have had the courage to tell him how much you still cared and loved him. Yes, it might not have been the same kind of love you had for him before, but you did still love him.

You let out a little sob. In frustration and despair, tears flow out as you hold his clothes close to you. The walls of your bruised heart collapses as you hold his clothes so tight as if he was still in them. Well, you really do wish he was. You’re desperate to feel him in your arms physically. Just a moment with him so you could say your last sentiments. Just a moment to see him again. Just a moment to love him.

You’re helpless as your tears flow endlessly onto his shirt. You feel silly, but you just can’t stop. You really miss Satoru, and you have been for so many months now. You stroke the shirt as you would his body, wallowing in the grief you’re supposed to feel, even if the dead man is your ex-husband. You spent so many years loving him, how could you just not feel anything to hear news of his death? How could you not feel any regret or remorse for how messy you left things with him? There’s so many things you want to say to him, and it kills you to know you will never get to say any of it to him.

You wonder if Satoru was still around, would he wrap his arms around you and tell you not to cry? Would he kiss your temple like he always did when you were down? You wish he would just do all of it. You wish you two could have tried harder. Your love for him never burned out, you know that much. It’s the reason why you’re here, alone in his room crying as you hold his clothes dearly to you. And even if you hate to say it, even if you don’t want to admit it, Satoru loved you until the very end too.

“I’m still in love with you y’know…”

“Shut up,” You mutter as you slide the eggs off the pan for the hungry man at the table.

It was the dead hours of the night when he returned from a mission, knocking on your door, telling you that he was hungry and needed a place to crash.You slammed the door on him of course, but he wedged his foot in the gap of the door (no, it didn’t hurt, he’s got magical powers that prevent him from actually getting hurt like damn maniac) and used his own strength against you to push his upper body through the door to beg you to let him stay. It was a mistake on your part, but it actually wasn’t all that terrible that night. You were just bitter.

“My bad,” Satoru said dramatically as he took a bite. “Just thought you missed me. That’s the reason you let me in, right?”

You narrowed your eyes at him, not in the mood for any of his games. His smug grin made everything even worse, because he was right. “Gojo Satoru, wipe that grin off your face.”

“Must have hit a nerve,” He teased like it was still appropriate to do so.

You actually don’t even remember what you said then after that, but you just know… Gojo Satoru has you all figured out yet… he never said anything about it to you. And that was just him. He knew well enough not to break your heart one more time, but he was selfish enough to constantly flirt with you any time he could. If he passed by, or was coming home late from a mission and knocking on your door to remind you that he existed. Not anymore.

After cleaning his apartment, it’s all empty now. Which is a little strange. You’ve never even been to his place until after he died, and yet… it makes your stomach turn and feel upset after realizing that this place is no longer where your ex-lover resides. You understand that he’s no longer occupying it. There’s no point in keeping it for him. But maybe because you don’t think it through while you’re still in the grieving process. You don’t think about Gojo Satoru being dead because you don’t want to. It makes your heart squeeze and your breath stop. You can’t face the fact that he no longer exists and you can no longer see him anymore. You just can’t, so you wonder: where will his home be? Who's going to take care of him? Where is he going to go to shelter himself from the rain or snow? Where is he going to sleep? Where can he feel safe and secure?

You sigh, rubbing your eyes. You really need to get some proper rest. You feel yourself withering in the bitter feelings you still have toward Satoru, but also the dangerous sorrow that’s sinking your whole body down. You can’t believe that you really miss Gojo Satoru after all this time hating him and wishing you two had never met when he was here and alive, waiting for you to just cave into what your heart wanted. Truth is though, you never would. You were too strong for that.

Finally, you pack up the final things, leaving absolutely nothing behind. Satoru isn’t here anymore, and it looks exactly like that. This little corner of the world isn’t his anymore, and you’d like to say that it never was because he didn’t spend much of his time in this place. It’s just sad to see it all gone, stripped to the bare white box it actually is without the fun of your late ex-husband. You shut the door, leaving this place behind and bringing this part of Satoru with you, maybe the only part of Satoru that is still worldly and able for you to have in your grasp. You leave the key to his apartment on the landlord’s desk and leave with the rest of Satoru’s things in your arms, all thrown in the cardboard box labeled “Satoru” in your handwriting with a permanent marker. Silly of you to not even realize it, Gojo Satoru’s home is not a place, it’s you.

The end of it was the funeral process. Which was much more work than cleaning his apartment. You wish somebody was worried about your well-being, but that somebody, the most likely candidate, was dead. Satoru would have told you to chill out a bit and ask you to wind down with him, but this is his funeral, he can’t really do that now, can he? But you don’t want to seem like you’re so reliant on him. You’ve done plenty of things without him, and this will be no exception. He just… sort of made the process easier and bearable. You’re on your 10th phone call with the carpenters of the coffin when you really wish you didn’t take on the task of carrying out Satoru’s dying wishes. He didn’t even have many, because he was so sure he wasn’t going to die so soon.

Through it all, you hold yourself together quite elegantly. Even through the eulogy. No one would even guess the mental strain you put yourself through to make this all happen. All the floral arrangements are beautiful, Satoru’s corpse is dressed nicely—though you grace him with a closed casket funeral because you were sure that he did not want anyone to see him so vulnerably lifeless and you simply could not handle the sight of his stale and unresponsive body. But everyone could indeed tell, Gojo Satoru was loved. They could understand your love for the man. You wouldn’t have done it if you didn’t love him. But you just deny it.

His guest list was quite large. Some people you didn't even know, and you were sure he did not want that. But the higher ups had their own agenda too, and you had to make compromises though you stood your ground quite well for the sake of your late ex-husband's well being in the afterlife. You wonder, would Satoru love you for eternity for loving and caring for him unconditionally and so thoroughly? When you eventually join him, will he thank you for so meticulously planning and giving him a proper send off? You hope so. You hope that he will continue to love you in the next lifetime, and in that lifetime, you two will be happily together. Not miserably apart like you are now.

Maybe the only time anyone can see you break is when the casket is lowered and this is the last time that you’ll ever see Satoru’s face again, except you don’t. His casket is closed and covered with all the flowers you bought to send him off beautifully. There’s a complex look on your face, and no one could quite read it, but it was clear that there was a storm going on inside of you, stirring and rumbling. Your eyebrows knitted together and your eyes glossy with a down turn of your lips. You’re just keeping yourself together for Satoru. You need to.

The only time you get to break down about it is when you get home from the long day. Crumbling down your door, as you miserably sob. How could the world be so possibly cruel that you had to bury the last man you loved for the past ten years? It never gave you time to move on. You weren’t ready to let go just yet and be content with the distance. Sure, you asked for it when he was still tangible, but now he was untouchable, not existing, and it felt so painful. You curl up in a ball, on the bed you used to share with him. The bed you two used to gossip on and the bed where you simply just held him to sleep on your good days. The bed that you laid alone for most nights wishing he’d come to hold you and not be too tired for you. All the bad and good memories come to make you think of one thing; you wish Satoru was here right now.

You lay there, contemplating if you just want to stay there for the whole week or get up and cook yourself something. You haven’t been eating with how hectic it’s been to take care of Satoru’s send off. You sigh, closing your eyes. Sleep sounds like the best thing to you at the moment. You were drained and exhausted from preserving the life of Gojo Satoru as well as commemorating it. You needed that rest.

When you drift into sleep, you kind of hope that Satoru is there for you, waiting in a field of beautiful flowers like he came to visit you in a dream. Even if it’s just your imagination. You’d like to think that he cared enough that he left you alone to deal with all of the things he left behind. He doesn’t though, because you don’t dream. You just black out and you wonder if you’ll ever dream again. But maybe you’re just being dramatic because you miss your ex-husband so much. You blink the tears out from your eyes, wiping them before getting up and pulling yourself together. You can be sad, but not miserable. You were never the type to just crumble, however, even this shook you down to the very ground and yes, it is hard to get back up. But everything with Satoru was hard, and this was no different. You should have been used to this.

Eventually, you do get yourself together. Sad, but you’re functioning. You go back to work and you continue with your daily life. Satoru’s never really been a part of your daily routine after the 3rd year of being married to him. It was no different not seeing him at all, but it was just the fact that he truly wasn't there anymore. If you were to call his cell, it would just ring on your dresser in your room and go to voicemail. Sometimes, you wait for the voicemail just to hear his voice, but most times you stay away from his contact. You’re recovering, just slowly.

People at work send their condolences, just like they did when they found out you divorced Gojo Satoru. They give you a pitiful look and tell you to be strong, but when they think you’re not listening they bash Satoru for passing and still putting the responsibility of carrying his will out on his ex wife—you. You don’t defend him nor does what they say settle well with you. They’re right, of course. Gojo Satoru has always been selfish, up until his last breath, but you just can’t seem to feel validated when you’re the one who buried Gojo Satoru. He was once your whole world, how could you just completely numb yourself to the pain of losing your connection with him, absolutely and completely?

Apparently, you’re the only person on his will too. You inherit everything of his one day, and it’s kind of overwhelming. All of his money is transferred to your bank account, all his belongings, everything is yours. You don’t even know what to do with most of it. You don’t even want to look and use anything of his. So you store most of his things in a box and label it “Satoru,” along with the other things that you took from his apartment, and you make an account to store all his money in, for what? You don’t know, just something.

When you're older, you’ll come to realize that you made Satoru a loved person until the very end, and that you were perhaps the only person that he still had love for, even if you weren’t his wife anymore. This is why Satoru loved you so much, and yes, he got very lucky with you, you will give yourself that. But you also won’t feel so bitter about having to be the person to handle his departure because you made sure to do just the way he wanted it, by you. for now, you’ll miss him lots and bring him flowers whenever the time comes. You won’t call him your ex-husband, but your late-husband. You keep some of his clothes to wear like you used to. You still sleep on your side of the bed, leaving the space Satoru used to fill empty for him. Life goes on the way it used to.

#gojo satoru #gojo x reader #jjk gojo #jujutsu gojo #gojou satoru x reader #gojo x you #gojo #satorugojo #jjk satoru #jujutsu kaisen satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk fanfic #gojo fanfic #gojo angst #jjk angst #jjk fluff #satoru x reader #satoru x you

[sammyche]

We talked about WAG Marc but also Vale would technically become a WAG since he retired while Marc is still racing

ouuuh i also love wag!vale.

sure he is busy with wec but i think at first he kind of doesn't want to go (too many memories, he just retired). then he goes but to support his own team vr46. and his relation with marc is so new, so raw. but i think the real reason is that he's too worried. seeing marc still so reckless, making moves that back when he was still racing against him infuriated him. now watching him on the side line, his heart pounding, face closed off, he feels so anxious so out of control. he can't stand the ache in his stomach when marc overtakes on the limit. he knows that marc is older now, bruised and battered by his crashes. but still he rides like he always did. and for vale it's unbearable. he tries to rein in his feelings, to not show then because he knows marc would be furious. one thing they still have trouble with is navigating their respective feelings about risk management. marc told him his little white lie "risk management is the new marc marquez" then he does shit like this, crashes left and right, even with pecco (vale's eldest ????).

but when marc asks him to come to his garage. small voice, coming from his chest where he's laid, skin on skin, playing with the sheets near his head, he can't say no. so he'll put on a smile and pretend to be super chill about it even when he wants to vomit out of worry. he wont give any advice, marc wouldn't have it. he'll just sit next to julia, joke around with some mechanics who look at him like he hung the stars. the camera on his face every time marc does something a little reckless. he always had a bad poker face so it's hard for him to control his face, scrunching, and his hands, gripping his jeans. but then he gives a little laugh to diffuse the situation, pretend that he's just worried a normal amount.

and when marc comes back in his garage all happy with his race he waits until he comes to him. gives him a kiss, telling him how good he was. letting him ramble about a little scare at turn 5. and how the bike was moving like crazy on the break (vale knows, he saw it, his heartbeat picking up every time). vale pushes his hand into marc's sweaty hair. telling him to enjoy with his team, he's gonna wait for him in his motorhome. marc's smile fades just for a second, wondering if he did anything bad. but vale reassures him with a kiss on the forehead. don't worry, i love you, even if you drive me insane.

#marc marquez #motogp #valentino rossi #rosquez #sorry it took a turn ahah #their history is too raw for it to be all roses #you got to have the angst #asks

[yu-huuuu]

…

No, because when someone asks me, "what would a relationship with Itachi canon be like, you know, the rogue ninja who killed everyone to stop a civil war and abandoned his brother for his own good?", I imagine a relationship similar to that of Greg and Rose Quartz.

Imagine being a civilian who enjoys playing the guitar, and one day, singing in the forest, you encounter this mysterious man.

He congratulates you, arguing that he was drawn to you by your melodious voice and the gentle sound of the guitar.

He tells you his name after you tell him yours, although you vaguely asks why he didn't tell you his last name. But, Itachi is a nice name even if there's no suffix to pair it with.

The most random and imaginative topics arise in each encounter you both have. You two always meet in the same place, always at the same time. It quickly becomes a routine for you.

Without signs indicating that Itachi comes from any village or indicating that he is a ninja, you are left wondering where this sweet man could have come from. (although maybe if you looked behind the tree that is two meters away from you, you would see the articles he used daily)

Maybe he's the son of a vendor passing through your town, or maybe he's a tourist who likes to visit towns that aren't visible at first glance on the map.

Whatever he may be, it doesn't matter, not as long as your heart beats strongly when his hand brushes yours or when his fingers gently touch your cheek as he tries to tuck your wild locks behind your ear.

Itachi knows it's wrong. He knows these encounters are wrong. But he can't help but want to be by your side, listening to you ramble about random and simple yet fascinating things that as a ninja he never would have thought or imagined.

You make him feel like someone normal, like an ordinary man. You make him feel alive, something he hadn't felt since the massacre, perhaps even long before joining the Anbu.

It's as if he doesn't have blood covering his hands. As if he doesn't bear all the hatred of the world on his tired shoulders, preventing him from breathing.

All his problems disappear from his mind when you allow him to rest his head to take a nap, while you arguing that his dark circles look too big. Nightmares and insomnia leave him when you run your delicate hands, with no calluses in sight, through his hair. The protest dies on the tip of his tongue when you scratch that specific part that quickly turns him into putty in your hands.

One morning, Itachi Uchiha vaguely realizes that the dark circles and stress marks have become smaller and blames you for the gentle fluttering his heart does at the thought of you taking care of him. Kisame looks at him puzzled when he comes out of the bathroom. At first glance, he had a neutral face, but his eyes told a different story; they looked more alive.

Kisame wondered what or who made him that way. Itachi simply ignores him as usual, trying to keep the corners of his lips from rising because his happiness hasn't waned yet and he doesn't want Kisame to see him like that.

It's a night when Itachi finally realizes that he has fallen deeply in love with you. His heart stops for a moment when he realizes that it hurts to think about leaving you when he dies at the hands of his brother.

And he simply doesn't want to.

He doesn't want to leave your side. He's being selfish, he knows it well, but for once he wants to be. He himself destroyed all his dreams and hopes, all for Konoha and his younger brother.

By sacrificing his world, he can never become Hokage or live in Konoha again.

Maybe if he cut his hair and ran away with you to live in another secluded place away from the ninja world—

He stopped.

What was he thinking? He was dangerous. Everything about him was dangerous.

He had hurt so many people, had ended the lives of so many. You deserved someone better, someone who didn't have hands stained with blood or a destroyed man.

And he simply decides to push you away.

He told himself that this would be the last time. He didn't hesitate when he told you that he didn't want to see you again and that you should stay away from him.

Maybe if he were strong enough and you didn't have him in the palm of your hand, he would have been stronger, and he would have left without explanations.

But that wasn't the case.

"Itachi, you have to tell me what's going on."

Itachi sighed, almost as if trying to prepare himself for what he was about to say. "I— you have dreams, I don't want you to sacrifice everything for me," he told you the truth, unable to hide it under a lie.

"It's a pity."

"Uh?"

"You are all I want."

“So…”

“Hmm?”

“What was the answer?”

“… Love”

“Woahhh-! I know it!”

“So do i”

…

*the end*

love like you starts playing in the background

Also— maybe I’m gonna write a series of this now that i have ao3 🤭

#itachi uchiha headcanons #itachi uchiha x reader #itachi x you #itachi #itachi headcanons #itachi x reader #uchiha itachi #itachi uchiha #itachi naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto scenarios #naruto #naruto x reader #if i could #began to be #half of what #you think of me #I could do about everything #and i could even learn #how to love… #like you #<3333

[misc-obeyme]

Got this chat last night and dnjsffhksodwkodw he's so sweet. I mean, we could all guess pretty certainly that Barbatos would drop anything and everything at any time to help out MC, but this confirms it in a way that makes me love him even more <3

Also! I don't have screenshots of this one, but during the current event, Barbatos reveals that he keeps teas that MC likes in his room. Not only that, but he keeps them near Diavolo's favourites; which really proves we are his two favouties <3 There's been a lot of Barbatos content recently that just proves how much he cares, and I am living for it!!

Just imagine Barbatos having all of your favourites teas and being able to make you whatever you want before you even ask for it.

And og my stars don't even get me started on Barbatos visiting you to help you unwind before sleep. I just know he'd give the best massages, and that tea he said he'd make you? Divine.

Just being around Barbatos at any time is very calming and peaceful (at least in my mind) so imagine what it would be like when he's actually trying to be calming...

Oh yes, I was so obsessed with that part of the event where he talks about his tea shelf, I got out of bed at 3 in the morning to post all the screenshots here. I would've just done it on mobile, but there's a 10 picture limit for mobile posts. :(

Anyway, in case anyone wanted to see the screenshots of that part, they are all there lol.

This is exactly why I love Barbatos so much. It's the way he notices things without being told, the way he just takes it upon himself to bring MC whatever they need, the way he takes care of them.

It's like he's not so wrapped up in himself that he can see what other people need and he takes great care to notice especially when it's someone he loves.

This is the quality that made him my favorite. I'm one of those people who tends not to tell others when I'm struggling irl. Like it isn't that I'm trying to deceive people, it's more that I don't want to burden them with my problems, you know? So a lot of times, it goes unnoticed. Which isn't anyone's fault but mine. But there's something about the idea of someone noticing despite how much you try to hide it or brush it off, someone who won't let you just pretend that there's nothing going on or that you don't need help, someone who insists on doing those things for you anyway. And doing it in a way that isn't like it's some big deal. Barbatos is just like, you are having trouble sleeping, I will come over and make you tea to help with that. And that's it.

I'm also extremely anxious irl. I find that being with people who are calm reduces my anxiety quite a bit. And I just know that even just being around Barbatos would keep me calm. I'd probably be nervous at first because I would think he's soooo cool lol. But once I get past that introverted shyness, I would just want to be with him all the time. Because I'd feel that sense of calm that I don't get to feel on my own very often.

Anyway, didn't mean to ramble, I've written too many essays about Barbatos at this point adlk;fdskljf

It's just that I too was especially touched by these moments! He would indeed be the calming and peaceful influence that would easily allow anyone stressed to relax enough to drift into slumber...

And you know he'd give the best massages.

#though I also very much enjoy being able to take care of him in return #because I find that I often want to be that calming presence for others #even if I can't be that for myself #augh I just have a lot of Barb feelings okay?!? #obey me barbatos #obey me #obey me nightbringer #mjoria #cc mutuals #misc answers

[sillybayo]

Bayo's Black Rose Arc Analysis

Some notes before I begin:

-This ramble/essay contains heavy discussions of CSA, general sexual themes, and incest. Also, keep in mind that the characters discussed here are 12-17. While I will be looking into how sex affects them mentally and such, I will not tolerate child sexualization here. I will block anyone who makes a single weird comment or make me uncomfortable. We'll be talking about this from a pure psychological standpoint.

-This is a thought dump rather than anything formal, so I won't be dropping episode titles or numbers. I'm also going purely off of memory, and things I said in group chats. So if things lack clarity, this is why.

-I'm not saying I "cracked the black rose arc code" or anything, this is purely my interpretation that I wish to share, due to not seeing many black rose analysis', and being displeased with what some people have said and concluded. I just want to put what I think out there for others to enjoy :3.

-To avoid being repetitive and cluttered, I'll be generally referring to any character who pulls swords out as "wielders", and any character who has had a sword pulled out of them as "sheaths". Any scene where this transpires will be called a "sheathing scene."

-Once again, due to the material of this analysis, I will be blocking anyone who sexualizes the characters in notes, or anyone who I see as creepy.

With that out of the way, let us begin :3!

So I was watching rgu video essays one day, and I stumbled across one about Miki. About halfway or late into the video, they begin talking about how Miki and Kozue had sex in the black rose arc, due to the way she touched him before the sheathing scene, and the way he turned beet red when Nanami asked how it felt for the sword to be taken out. And I thought it made sense at the time, as I was still new to utena, and I only watched it once. And the allegory is clearly there in other black rose sheathing scenes (besides with utenanthy), right?

But then I thought about it more when I rewatched the juriori black rose episode a year or so later, and caught Juri blushing when Nanami asked her the same question. And...wait. Because doesn't all of the black rose sheathing scenes look..uncomfortable? The sheath cries in pain as the sword comes out of their chest, and Wakaba even forced it out of Saionji. And this weirded me out, because why would a show thats so clearly against rape of any kind go on to write something like this? Why did Miki and Juri blush about something that was so forceful? And even if they were under a mind controlled like state, why would they write the wielders to be rapists? With the way rgu writes sex and rape, it didn't seem right, y'know?

So a few months later, when I decided to continue my rewatch and reached the Wakaba black rose arc episode, thats when I truly started to think about it more. And thats when I reached a conclusion: Miki and Juri are more influenced by Touga and Saionji than they realize. And by extension, they're all influenced by Akio.

You see, Touga and Saionji clearly view Anthy as someone to be sexualized. Shes their wife, who would fulfill their every request. Even though they might not know Anthys and Akios relationship, and/or how the latter treats her, this is an undeniable shared mindset.

Even though the boys and Utena uses Anthy as a sheath in the exact same ways on the outside, you know that when its with Touga and Saionji, its sexualized. They own her. When Touga demands Anthy to kiss his sword, it feels so off that Utena couldn't bare to watch. You could argue that its because it would hurt Anthys lips, but in later episodes its clear that it isn't the issue, as Utena uses the same powerup but in a more supportive fashion rather than sexual. So whats up with that?

I say; in (most of) the wielders view, the sword is like a penis.

I know, a very silly thing to say. But I don't mean exactly. And I, of course, don't mean literally.

Do you know that scene from the scream movie, where the two guys are stabbing each other, begging for it and all? It definitely has sexual undertones, because of the mood set by the characters, and heres where I'm getting at; the idea of a long pointed object being thrusted in you.

What I think is that Anthy is so sexualized by the student council, that the idea of a simple sword being pulled out of her 14 year old south asian brown girl chest, is arousing.

So when each of the student council members become sheaths themselves, of course they think that its one of the most sexually intimate things to experience. And its so stupid, right? Its just a sword. a SWORD.

And I shouldn't be referring to the student council so generally, because Nanami is the only one who sees through this. As far as I remember, she wasn't weird in the slightest when she was Tsuwabukis sheath. And even in the apocalypse arc, shes uncomfortable when Touga kisses her, and disturbed when walking in on Akio and Anthy (but then again I haven't rewatched that episode yet, so I could be wrong). She purely meant to ask how the sword felt, with no sexual intent. Miki and Juri were just pure idiots on that part.

So then, wait, if the sword pulling in the black rose arc wasn't a metaphor for rape, then what is it?

Well, I argue that it black rose wielders follow the same mindset as some sexual assaulters when they're under the effects of Mikages reverse therapy, in a way. Its the strong feeling of thinking the sheath owes the wielder something, and that the wielder deserves it no matter what they say.

Another reference to a different piece of media, but remember when its revealed that Pearl continued to fuse with Garnet for her own personal wants, which crossed Garnets boundaries? People interpreted that scene as Pearl raping Garnet, when....no. What? Of course she isn't. Its just the general idea of your wishes being disrespected, and boundaries ignored. Do you see where I'm going with this?

The black rose wielders see something in the sheaths that they want for themselves, whether it be their love, their attention, or some secret third thing. So with nothing but entitlement and desperation in their heart, they force the sword out of their hearts, where their desires lie.

But, wait. How about other scenes with swords? Like when Anthy is Utenas sheath, and when Anthy has a thousand swords stabbed into her? Do swords still represent desire?

Well, yes! Very easily. Utena fights for the pure sake of love and friendship. She fights Saionji when hes cruel to Wakaba, and she swears to protect Anthy with all her heart. She duels with the strongest ounce of care in her soul. Thats the desire to keep her loved ones happy.

What about when Anthy what continuously impaled? Well, that was the villages desire to get to the prince. And it was Akios desire to finally revolutionize the world after so long.

I may be missing a few scenes, but this is the general idea, and I hope I got the idea across. Thats the end of my little ramble :3. As an acespec hypersexual, I already spend a lot of time deconstructing the truth behind sexual things and feelings. So this was fun to think about. I hope y'all liked this, and understood it most importantly. Toodleeess

#rgu #revolutionary girl utena #utena #utena tenjou #anthy himemiya #shoujo kakumei utena #sku #juri arisugawa #miki kaoru #touga kiryuu #saionji kyouichi #akio ohtori #nanami kiryuu #wakaba shinohara #mitsuru tsuwabuki #souji mikage #kozue kaoru #essay #rambles #black rose arc #black rose saga

[dootznbootz]

I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...

Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.

I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.

I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.

Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D

I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬

Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D

#I have these same feelings with Medea and Medusa and so many others. Penelope too. Let them do something fucked up just to be fucked up #I'm a “god forbid women do anything” in the sense of 'she did a fucked up thing. That's why she's fascinating. Don't take her awfulness #away from her!!! please! I wanna study her under a microscope!'😭 #PLEASE #...I actually kind of don't like the idea of her actually caring about her nymphs :P maybe she “protects them” but like... #I see her as a “Why are all of you dancing? Oh. it's a birthday? hm okay. Just make sure your duties are done.” while not caring #whose birthday it is. She's not really shown to be close to them during the Odyssey and idk just seems in character for her to not give af #save me morally gray circe #<-making that a tag now because...yeah. She absolutely wouldn't save me though. #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #anti madeline miller #anti circe #<-THE BOOK! I HATE THE BOOK! LET HER BE AWFUL YOU COWARDS #Why do women need to be SA'ed to be strong Miller?! >:( #...Ima say it. The pathetic wifeman is more relatable to me than Hot Snake Monster Lady when it comes to this stuff.😤 #I just sincerely hate the fact that people erase what happened to him you know? It's silly but it means a lot to me. #Also I think she got bored of him immediately and simply let him chill at her place. #She's a goddess. She's got better things to do and she absolutely doesn't love him and he absolutely doesn't want her. #I don't have with Eugammon btw. He's dead and I'm exaggerating but I STILL hate the Telegony >:( #tw sa #kind of??? idk #barely mentioned but yeah #Calypso though?? Yeah. I hate her in practically everything except Pirates of the Caribbean because that's not Odyssey Calypso

[nemmet]

question: how did you discover/get into scooby doo?

this is something i'm always so interested to hear, being that there are few people who don't have at least some small tie to the franchise. whether you would consider it one of your biggest current interests or it's just something nostalgic from your childhood, i'd love to know how you found scooby and what it means to you!

#for me it was my dad! he grew up with the original show and wanted to introduce it to me #so one day when i was maybe? seven?? he came home with the winter wonderdog dvd and we watched it that night #from there we watched every single scooby doo movie that had ever been made #and got the new ones as they came out in subsequent years! #watching a new scooby movie with my dad every weekend are honestly some of my favourite childhood memories #also what's new scooby doo had also started airing on one of the main cartoon channels here in the uk around 2010 #so that's the show i watched the most consistently as a kid #velma was my original favourite of the gang because i looked a lot like her (big glasses/same haircut/etc.) #people would always compare me to her and it genuinely gave me a lot of confidence in my appearance that stays with me to this day #but fred was always my firm second favourite - he made me laugh the most of any character #and took on a deeper meaning to me in my adolescence when i realised i was autistic and strongly identified with his portrayals as such #the characters are probably what's kept me coming back all this time - they've been with me forever #and i love them individually + as a team who support each other with their unique skills and love for one another #but also the wacky adventures and general aesthetic #many people joke about the basic plot being the same every time but it makes my autistic brain happy #i love permanence and consistency baby!!!!! #and the different variations on that same formula always keep things fresh and fun #anyway ramble over #looking forward to hearing you guys' responses! :D #scooby doo #nem misc posts :]

[mayashesfly]

Yuma being on the ground, being able to be touched by others and being vulnerable but never alone vs Makoto being above the ground, unable to be touched by others and unable to be vulnerable and always being alone.

How one is in Heaven and another is in Hell

Lowest part of town to the Highest

How does it feel like to once be on the ground but now being far above it?

The ascension and separation from normal to extraordinary?

The loneliness of it all?

Heaven and Hell

The Ground and the Sky

The Touched and The Untouchable

Yuma and Makoto never fail to make me go insane

#may asher rambles #rain code #rain code spoilers #makoto kagutsuchi #yuma kokohead #There's so many LAYERS to this symbolism between them #SO MANY EXAMPLES #I really do want to ramble about my anaylsis about them when it comes to this #but there's so many things to analyze that it makes things harder to organize #and I simply currently don't have enough time and braincells for that right now unfortunately

[ohitslen]

My dad told me to watch Gungrave with him (we have just watched one episode atm) and I was like wait the vibes, this feels so awfully familiar, where have I seen this, the characters hmm no but I’m so sure I’ve never seen this anime before

And I was right I have never seen it before…BUT… as I google for some facts I immediately found out that Nightow was the character designer along with good sir Kōsuke Fujishima of the og game, and the anime is under Nightow’s name as it seems and I was like—

OF COURSE. NIGHTOW.

#down to the mf glasses. it was the general structure but the glasses. they just felt. Nightow yk. IK IT WAS A TREND THE BUT ITS THE FEELING #ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER LIKE A FULL CIRCLE I CANT ESCAPE THAT MAN NO MATTER WHERE I RUN TO #my dad was like ‘you like Trigun? you might like this the designs are sick’ and I’m like hm yeah they have their charm I’ll admit #I told him ‘his gun is giving Trigun. the glasses. the fit.’ and then I laughed bc I thought that’s so silly it’s just what was on trend #around that time and I’m just really bad into the brainrot there’s now way these two would possibly be related. alas. #apparently Nightow was involved since very early on in the project while it was still in a very essential beginning stage #and you can TELL. it all BREATHES of Nightow when it comes to the character designs like #I dont know much of mr Kosuke Fujishima to tell about his style but his is very prominent too as it seems! as both were essential to the #whole feel for the characters. but for Nightow I can speak and YEAH YOU CAN SEE IT ON THE IMAGES ABOVE. THAT’S HIM AIGHT #yasuhiro nightow #gungrave #lenssi rambles #gungrave anime #having my own christoper Columbus experience rn #I’ll get to ​kekkai sensen too eventually! Nightow is an awesome writer i want to #I WANT TO FFS OQNWK READ. all of his works! so many things so little focus OANWM

[eltheabberation]

takizawa for the character ask

My first impression: “Oh who’s that guy again? Eh I’ll just look him up. Oh hey that one- WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED??” Other than that I basically just didn’t care about him cause I just wanted to get back to Kaneki.

My impression now: I love him so much he’s my little guy he’s so silly I want to run him through a meat grinder he means the world to me he is my world he deserves the world he’s ruined my life and made it better and I love him for it <33

Favourite thing about that character: Assuming I can’t say everything uh I love the irony of his character. Becoming everything you hated. Getting everything you wanted superficially but losing the reasons you wanted it in the first place. All that good stuff.

Least favourite thing: His ending :( “oh he disappeared and was never seen again and fought rogue ghouls as a half-kakuja-“ NO. FUCK NO. AFTER EVERYTHING HES BEEN THROUGH HE IS NOT GETTING THAT SHITTY OF AN ENDING. HE SHOULDNT HAVE TO BE INVOLVED IN THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE HE SHOULD BE LIVING A NICE PEACEFUL LIFE WITH HIS LOVED ONES.

Favourite line/scene: Uh, god there's a lot to choose from... Honourable mention to his little speech about fear (mainly because it's so funny in context "oh you're scared of me cause I'm different" no I think its because you murdered their coworkers in front of them but go off ig). My favourite probably has to be his internal dialogue during the fight with Amon in the lab raid arc, a ton of great lines in there. But I also love every scene he's in so y'know.

Favourite interaction that character has with another: Probably his fight with Amon during Rushima and then his moment with Akira after. Gives me brainworms.

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: Shikorae! They may have only had one on-screen interaction but they are FRIENDS I swear. Also just the rest of Aogiri in general. I wanna see how this crazed ex-dove fits in with the rest of their organization.

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: Uh... human Takizawa kinda reminds me of Matsuda from Death Note but that's all I've got.

A headcanon about that character: He adores boy band pop but is incredibly embarrassed about it. His sister likes the same bands as him and he always acts annoyed that he's being "forced" to go to concerts with her but he secretly begs her to buy tickets for him too. He has an ARASHI poster in his bedroom. Hide introduced him to Backstreet Boys and they listened to it together sometimes before, well, y'know.

A song that reminds of that character: I’ve got a few but I’m gonna go with The Mind Electric. Idk I think it fits his mental state pretty well and also a lot of lyrics could tie into parts of his character. Also quick shoutout to the Demo 4 version cause the “see how I laugh at you” part reminds me of that one scene with Ayato.

An unpopular opinion about that character: Don't have one really

Favourite picture:

This one <3 He’s just being silly here which I love. Look at this overdramatic loser <33 (This image makes me have. thoughts. but I'll talk about them some other time)

#there are so many things I want to ramble about when it comes to this fucker but #not right now #maybe later I’ll make separate posts to ramble

[48787]

New Transmission The fucking Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons apparently developed what they're calling "Hetero Sapience" and are corrupting the brainmodules of the non-Pseudo 'cons around them by using annoying xenophilosophy words. Soundwave tells me they're 'Greek' and 'Latin' words, apparently. Cool, I guess? Anyway, if you see any SI Class 'cons causing... issues, just try your hardest to turn your brainmodule off before you start getting infected with their weird lingo, alongside all the other issues pertaining to letting the SI Pseudocons transmit data into your brainmodule in their own weird ways. Thundercracker, on a bet with Starscream, tried to get into an argument with one of them and his head literally exploded when it started talking about Alpha Trion's "Mythological Origins" in its weird dialect. He's mostly fine, CR Pods are working at 'peak' efficiency, but the facial reconstruction is apparently impossible due to some kind of corruption. I thought it was just some weird prank but there weren't even any scorch marks or anything. Just exploded. So yeah, just avoid optical contact and auditory contact to the best of your ability and you should be fine. Otherwise, try to force-shutdown your brainmodule if you can. Shockwave is working on a cure right now, mostly because I know he had something to do with this in the first place so he's going to be the one to fix it. He probably wanted a greater justification to do that weird data-transfer idea he mentioned previously. But it also explains the weird Thunderwing hypotheticals he's been asking me lately... Can I go one fucking cycle without someone trying to "Perfect Thunderwing's Work" or whatever other idiotic drivel that I keep finding our limited energon reserves siphoned into?? It's not even a Shockwave thing, it's like every damn Cybertronian these days thinks they have the "Missing piece of the puzzle" or whatever. In fact, Shockwave might be doing this as a weird threat against the other R&D 'cons to cement himself as the one and only Decepticon "Allowed" to have resources wasted on projects like that. Ugh, now that I think about it, that's probably a correct assumption and he's probably gonna expect me to thank him for it later. Ugh, and he's probably literally right. Ugh. At least his repairs both to himself and to his lab seem to be mostly complete so further research into the SI project should hopefully come along a little faster. Both Shockwave and Soundwave think the SIs could potentially be used as some kind of specialty weapon, but we'll have to see how they work on sparkless lifeforms, like biological lifeforms or xenomechanical lifeforms. The SIs don't seem to corrupt each other, but Shockwave keeps reaffirming that they're not "Sparkless Lifeforms" because they "were never lifeforms to begin with"... but I think he's trying to hide something. Usually Soundwave is the one to pick up on that kind of technological obfuscation, but he actually agreed with Shockwave and offered to send Ratbat to try to work out exactly what each "sapient" SI is now capable of on a personal level. We could have just had regular Cybertronians aboard to fill the role SIs fill. I would've preferred K Class to fill any role an SI could fill in all honesty!! But no, constructing cold wasn't enough, we just had to try to learn how to "Construct Frozen" and the "Absolute Zeroes" just had to be put on my ship. Whatever. I've probably said too much already. This was supposed to be a warning for my ship crew, but it's looking like it'll end up being transcribed on the golden disk as well so when this new Scientific Instruments of Destruction project backfires in some absurdly bombastic way there will at least be something remaining that says I was right. End of Transmission

New Transmission Okay so I was right, but so was Shockwave and Soundwave. Or, well, they were right just enough to make sure the backfire is postponed for at least another handful of cycles. Ratbat is still in CR from the investigation, but the cure Shockwave developed seems to be effective and Thundercracker is out and aiding the repair effort. Shockwave is now in contact with one of the SIs digitally and the other few are... integrating due to the personal efforts of Soundwave. I suppose now would be pertinent to mention not all the SIs developed the "Hetero Sapience" condition, many of them are safe for interaction. Soundwave is also currently monitoring their presence, Ravage is tasked with the regular SIs and Laserbeak is tasked with the "Sapient" SIs. Shockwave probably knows exactly what caused this event but he is preoccupied with the one he no doubt is either indoctrinating or ruthlessly interrogating. Report to Soundwave if you see any suspicious behavior, he has been working very hard to ensure the SIs have their purpose clearly defined (And closely monitored). And, Starscream, stop trying to convince the SIs that you are the leader of this ship. Not only have the majority of your efforts been wasted on subsentient automata, the only one you have actually found who possesses the ability to truly listen to you immediately came to the bridge to complain about you. They were the first sapient SI I communicated with directly and it was because they felt the need to complain about you. I almost feel embarrassed for you. Come back to the bridge so you can apologize to it or so I can teach it how to laugh at you. It's practicing right now actually! This moment of chaos should hopefully be largely under control now, the actual "population" of Scientific Instrument Class Pseudocons was actually quite fewer than initially expected due to an indexing error incorrectly labeling certain shells as SI class. At the very least, we have some more specialty warriors because of it all. End of Transmission EOF

#yippie peace through tyranny!! #nemesis posting #Decepticon High Command Slice of Life rambles #Matrix Visions #I like this “chat” font I think it's cool #spacebridge still needs more time in the oven unfortunately #I'm also procrastinating on that because I can't seem to wrap my head around guestmount but do not want to send backup files one at a time #wegh. It'll get done. Eventually. #I'll have so much more bullshit once I actually finish the damn comic my wife radically altered my life with hehehe #I cannot wait to start posting about Alpharius Trionicon. He's the fucking worst if you couldn't tell by name alone and I love him so much #Anyway I just had a very specific joke/pun in my head in the shower then it turned into a whole *thing* like it usually does. #I usually don't explain shit but the shower idea centered around getting the SI acronym to work for hyper specific jokes. #Still can't decide if I want to lock in on “Scientific Instrument” because it fits *so well* for *so many reasons* #But “Synthetic Intelligence” is more generic in a more understandable way... Eeh.. It's a little *too* generic. “Instrument” is cooler. #Once my wife helps me understand her lil fucker more I'll come up with an even shitter joke using “Y/N” so I can do Y/N x SI x SI bullshit! #Oh! The matrix triune project is coming along slowly as well!! I think I mentioned that microphone project once or twice now hehe #I'm gonna make so many shitty covers of songs once I get the soundproofing to start focusing on vocal training stuff #It's been quite a fun time aboard the nemesis!! There's so much to “Blog” about that it's hard to really know when to start *or* stop hehe! #And the fact that all these projects are all interwoven is so fucking wonderful!! I FINALLY feel able to fully grasp my own focus!! #My brain is like a particle collider for certain interests now. I can reliably just.. Spit things out and tie it into the other interests! #It's sometimes exhausting but in such a new way. Like a relieving exhaustion? #Still figuring that part out!! #Anyway that's enough personal project vagueposting I should really be getting back to work hehe this was fun

[ruelpsen]

I regret to inform you that my fave is getting bodied again in another poll

#too many fake old man enjoyers on this site #COME ON NOW HE HAS SIX ~PREHENSILE~ TENTACLE DICKS! SIX!!!!!! #people are being mean in the notes though like come on what has he ever done to you #do you not know cuntenserven when you see it #sure yes he does bad things in canon and i am not an apologist #and if he were a real person i would hate him so gd much for some of the shit he does #however he is not real so what about it #some people just want to dream about having a passionate six-tentadicked bisexual alien lover and lordy am i one of them #i might. *might.* rb the poll itself later but without tags because i've had experiences with normies being stupid in my inbox- #- after rbing normie-ish posts in the past #even a number of people who claim to be sex-positive turn awful the second it's clear your tastes aren't bland vanilla stuff #if you've read this far thanks for hearing out my ramblings #despite my better judgement i am so deeply in love with this foolish man #londarling #not sfw

[friendofthecrows]

I miss that brief golden era from like 2012 to 2016 when the online witchcraft community was actually good and full of open minded people looking to learn more and share what they know plus maybe the occasional vampire middle schooler instead of the situation now where it's been taken over by capitalist tiktok transphobes who like to come up with ways to shift to hogwarts via their inherent magical vagina powers and then sell coated quartz to cure cancer instead of seeing doctors.

#hal rambles #saying controversial things tonight i guess #btw i have done astral projection and at first when i heard about shifting i was like #'oh basically a different name for the same thing?' #then it turns out these guys are just lucid dreaming and thinking that takes them to an entire other universe #like fine enough i don't want to be mean about someone's beliefs #And then i find out about some of the dramas involved and I'm just like o_O #pls use your critical thinking skills #This is way more important when it comes to stuff like herbology though #because not checking side effects dosage etc can legitimately KILL YOU DEAD #and I've seen. So many incredibly stupid things. only to ask for a source and they send me a link to a tiktok... #This is vagueposting about certain friends #Like tiktok 'witchcraft' is completely counter to all the good I've seen in the community last decade #It's ABOUT thinking critically and learning #It's ABOUT exploring ideas that are not the most popular and not taking mainstream beliefs for absolute granted #And so much more! #Yes it can also be about belief and intuition but you have to use that responsibly #Think about why you are tempted to something #Is it actually from your subconscious or some sort of sign or did something online suggest this to you #And that's not to say all internet knowledge is bad - sometimes people do make original and useful observations on here #or compile existing resources/knowledge #But you've got to THINK about it #Same with stuff in books and from people. I'm not the 'it's published so it's automatically legit' type #Sorry for the rant #I'm up a bit too late and i was thinking about it #Time to go dream about killing someone for the Aesthetic and Drama (my favorite lucid dream series) #(and you see - I'm not going into another universe and murdering people via lucid dreaming about it)

[spacedkey]

the eternal struggle of reading webcomics/manga/manh(w/u)a that i think are really good but have cringe ass titles so i can't recommend them without someone doubting my sensibilities and taste in stories

#not that my tastes are *that* good... #or do people ask me for good comics often enough for this to be a real problem #or.. people talking to me at all for this conversation to come up... #anyway please ask for some comics to read. i need someone to join me in my warrior's path #of reading things but never finishing them because either they aren't done being #written and/or translated yet.. #or whatever the word for when adhd says i can't read any more because the story is *too* good and so i get paralysis trying to keep reading #to anyone curious- #i just caught up with sss-class revival hunter #and was reminded how much of a sucker i am for romance... ;_: #GUH i can't gush in the tags here... there's already too many tags #but it's soo good #here's my recommend of it for those reading the tags: #really good starting plot- read a synopsis for that i'm bad at that #there's a little dip in attention keeping between the end of the introduction phase and when he starts floor 10 #but if you get past that little dip it's all up hill from there #ough i'm still thinking about it. #IT'S NOT A ROMANCE BTW. the most recent plot is romance but that's not the overarching thing #at least for what's out. idk how much what happened is going to effect the rest of the story #ok ok i need to stop talking about it because i'm getting too riled up and overpowering the melatonin i took. don't want to break my sleep #schedule over this #key's lockbox #rambling in tags #btw i don't have shame in the stuff i read regardless of their bad titles #i just wanted to use this premise to get my words out about enjoying my latest read

[uselessnbee]

sometimes i feel so petty i want to make a big post about all the times Will and El weren't that great towards Mike just to ..you know.. balance it out a bit

#it's always here's all the times Mike hurt Will and El's feelings and never here's all the times Will and El hurt Mike's feelings #it's so unfair like i saw people hating Mike over fucking MILKSHAKES because they just had to find a reason to hate him it's so stupid #if i went on here and started hating on Will and El for not laughing at Mike's vomit green joke cause it made him sad yall would call me #absolutely crazy and delusional like be fucking for real Mike just breathes wrong in Will's or El's direction and he's the devil himself #but Will and El could literally call Mike a slur to his face and yall would be like hE dESeRvEd iT tHeY DiDnT dO aNyThiNG wRoNG like fr #there are so many small times when Mike tried to get Will's attention like the vomit green joke or the they're conspiring against me moment #and everyone always just laughs how Mike is a loser trying to get their attention but they always just ignore him or whatever but if it was #reversed? if it was Will trying to get Mike's attention only for Mike to either ignore him or yell in his face how it's stupid to be #concerned about something so small? oh yall would go ballistic suddenly yall wouldn't care how small these things are suddenly you would #want Mike fucking dead but when it's the other way around it's just funny and embarassing for Mike? and not just small things like this #when we point out how El invalidated his feelings and dismissed his bullying everyone is like oh she didn't mean that she meant it like #this she meant it like that she said it because of this and that and the situation is like this so this is why she said that #and blah blah blah she didn't do anything wrong but when it comes to Mike suddenly it doesnt matter if he meant it differently or if it was #the situation and messy feelings making him say something hurtful no he's just an asshole oh i am cursing you all #i hope you step on lego every day and your favorite snack is always sold out in every shop i hope every cat you try to call will ignore you #or hiss at you i am so tired of the double standards when it comes to Mike and willel i am so angry #mike wheeler #mike wheeler protection squad #blue's 'mike's extreme defender' ramblings #i got a little carried away in the tags but i'm not sorry i said what i said #and idc if i get hate for it cause i'm right anyways

[oloreaa]

Weirdest feeling ever

#no i have stuff to do and i have to study but im kinda having an existential crisis so hm #im going to leave taiwan in about two weeks and im so conflicted on how i spent my time here #i have the feeling that i didnt see enough or did enough while i was here and met with friends #but at the same time i know that lots of time i genuinely didnt have the energy for it and its so hard being away from home #esp since i miss my bf and my family like crazy #at the same time i have family and friends in taiwan as well and i also want to spend time with them but the family is so draining #and its just slowly hitting me that many things i do here will be the last time i do #like being at that bus stop or walking down that street or seeing that building #like i know its coming to an end and i will and can probably never return to this specific point again #so im just. just trying to comprehend whats going on vs what i should have done #all the while wishing that i was back already so i can eat my mums food and see my dad in the garden #and my siblings playing video games together and my friends in our city #and i want to be held by my bf so much. these months have felt like an eternity #but i also dont want to leave taiwan bc it was a really nice time here that felt like being in a little bubble #when im back im going to have to work and focus on my bachelors and deal with family #like im really really torn about how i should feel and if there is a way that i can feel #so kinda wanna just bundle up and do nothing but i have my final on friday so i cant #rea rambles