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ohmyeyesmyeyes · 11 months

Text

a white man? TYPICAL!

charles leclerc x f!reader

fc: simone ashley

warnings: swearing

< n/a: i found myself making charles lactose intolerant for some reason, and idk why but it kind of makes sense >

liked by landonorris, livkatecooke and 419,183 others

ynofficial: so he calls me up and he's like 'je t'aime, je t'aime toujours'

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fan1: WHAT?

fan2: IS THIS WHO I THINK IT IS?????

fan3: manifesting it's charles

fan4: that's definitely monaco

fan5: CAN SOMEONE CONFIRM IF THE THIRD PICTURE IS WHAT CHARLES DOES AFTER FERRARI SCREWS UP????

carlossainz55: yes but only after he's had a hot chocolate and calmed down

landonorris: we call this stage 'total and complete surrender of hope'

fan6: tell me you're kidding

danielricciardo: they're not

fan7: it sounds like the name of a painting you'd find in a prestigious museum and it'd just be the portrait of a man that completely encapsulated heartbreak and every possibly morsel of pain that may ever be experienced by a man

liked by ynofficial

fan8: charles better be able to fight fr if he breaks my girls heart again smh

fan9: i feel like i'm the only one who is on the 'they never broke up' agenda

fan10: nah i am too

fan11: the taylor reference once more i am sobbing

fan12: why does charles own a pair of real madrid shorts

carlossainz55: they're mine from when he shat himself after eating too much ice cream

charles_leclerc: that is just not true at all

landonorris: there's no shame in being lactose intolerant 🤨

charles_leclerc: 😑

liked by jamesharveyblair, alex_albon and 391,993 others

charles_leclerc: congratulations to the happy couple! the wedding was beautiful, thank you for having us ❤️

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fan13: which happy couple? 🤔

carlossainz55: 🤷

fan14: SHE LOOKS STUNNING I WANT TO CRY

fan15: the green??? immaculate, babe

fan16: i'm jealous of charles

fan17: charles.jpg?

charles_leclerc: 🫢

landonorris: why wasn't i invited to the wedding i don't understand

charles_leclerc: because you don't know them???? idfk

landonorris: but carlos was there 😞

charles_leclerc: because he knows them?????

carlossainz55: it was a ferrari wedding, no hard feelings

landonorris: 💔

carlossainz55: have some of my love 🧡

landonorris: thank u ❤️‍🩹😳

liked by james_marsden, lissiemackintosh and 611,002 others

ynofficial: wedding shenanigans 💒💃

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fan18: wtf is carlos doing?

ynofficial: shithousery

carlossainz55: she dared me to do it, it's not my fault

charles_leclerc: she didn't dare you to breathe fire and fall into the river and almost drown until i had to drag you out though 🤨

landonorris: HE DID WHAT LMAO

fan19: the candid of charles is just *chef's kiss*

fan20: the boyfriend content we need

fan21: i'm out here admiring the dress and veil 😭😭 they're so pretty

liked by ynofficial

fan22: who was the plus one?

ynofficial: carlossainz55 was

carlossainz55: no no no 🖐️ that is just not true. ynofficial was the plus one

ynofficial: ☹️

fan23: WRONG ynofficial was actually the one invited and she had charles and carlos as her plus 2

ynofficial: i love u

charles_leclerc: fan23 that could never be true unfortunately

danielricciardo: petition for ynofficial to start a .jpg instead of charles📝

landonorris: 📝

lilymhe: 📝

clementnovalak: 📝

lewishamilton: 📝

mickschumacher: 📝

arthur_leclerc: 📝

carlossainz55: 📝

charles_leclerc: 😐

fan24: i'm confused is y/n dating charles again? or are they just friends?

liked by fabioquartararo20 and others

user: y/n l/n at the monaco gp this weekend looking as BEAUTIFUL AS EVER

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fan25: omg is this confirmation that she's back together with charles???????????

fan26: actually she was with red bull today...

fan27: 😲

fan28: what 😲

fan29: 😲

charles_leclerc: 😲😲😲

fan30: charles?

pierregasly: 😂😂

liked by odegaard.98, patriciooward and 649,090 others

ynofficial: lovely weekend on behalf of red bull, maxverstappen1 is smaller than i remember...🤫

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maverstappen1: that's because you were wearing heels 😐

ynofficial: i was also leaning 🤨

maxverstappen1: no

ynofficial: yes

maxverstappen1: NO

ynofficial: it's ok, at least you're taller than mcdreamy 🥰

fan30: max taking a hit to the ego

fan31: OOF

fan32: ok but i missed their banter on sm let's be honest

fan33: i'm crying i hope this means her and charles are back together

charles_leclerc: 😭😭😭😭😭😭

maxverstappen1: yeah keep crying

charles_leclerc: i'm not crying about THAT

charles_leclerc: SHE FUCKING CROPPED ME OUT OF THE LAST PHOTO

ynofficial: oops

landonorris: SHE DID LMAO

carlossainz55: CHRISTMAS HAS COME EARLY SOMEONE CROPPED CHARLES OUT OF A PHOTO BHAHAHAHA

arthur_leclerc: charles_leclerc can you comment on this incident?????

ynofficial: boy if you don't take this opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

maxverstappen1: ^^

charles_leclerc: 😐

charles_leclerc: nothing just an inchident 😐😐😐😐

danielricciardo: *deep inhale* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

maxverstappen1: i can smell your breath from across the paddock

danielricciardo: 😟😟

ynofficial: maxverstappen1 apologise to danny immediately, he's not smiling anymore

charles_leclerc: where's danny

maxverstappen1: charles_leclerc he's in red bull hospitality, and danielricciardo i'm sorry i didn't mean it

danielricciardo: it's okay

charles_leclerc: and where is ynofficial

maxverstappen1: with danny obviously

charles_leclerc: thank youuuu

ynofficial: charles_leclerc i know what you're doing and christian won't let you in the hospitality

charles_leclerc: he won't? 😊

ynofficial: stop scheming

charles_leclerc: but i'm just too adorable to say no to sometimes

ynofficial: i hate you

charles_leclerc: 😘😘

fan34: can we talk about how she's literally glowing in these pictures 😫

fan35: charles bagged a goddess

charles_leclerc: yes i did 🥵🥵

fan36: UMMMM DOES THIS MEAN WHAT I THINK IT DOES

ynofficial posted something on their story...

charles_leclerc posted something on their story...

liked by ynofficial, emmaradacanu and 559,152 others

charles_leclerc: asked this one to marry me a while back. she said no. then laughed in my face and changed her mind.

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ynofficial: i have no regrets

ynofficial: apart from when you nearly started crying, i have regrets from that

maxverstappen1: WAIT THAT'S ACTUALLY REALLY CUTE THAT HE CRIED WHEN YOU SAID NO

maxverstappen1: but now it's my turn to make you apologise to charles bc that was mean

ynofficial: dw i did

charles_leclerc: she did 😏

pierregasly: ew

landonorris: you know it's bad when pierre says it's gross 🤢

fan37: SO YOU'RE ENGAGED?????? WTF??????

fan38: we love to see a desi girl being loved on publicly 😭

charles_leclerc: i can safely promise you that it's not gonna stop anytime soon either 💗

liked by alessiarusso99, oscarpiastri and 689,016 others

ynofficial: as winston schmidt once said: 'a white man? TYPICAL!' but isn't he just so cute? 🥰😘

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fan39: girl you got the cutest white man on earth

liked by ynofficial

charles_leclerc: i'm so excited to marry you it's actually unbelievable

ynofficial: stop it. rn. you're making me blush.

charles_leclerc: NO.

ynofficial: can't wait to marry you either

fan40: i'm gonna tell my kids about these two

landonorris: couple goals? methinks ✅

iammaxgreenfield: i'm honoured to be included in this lovely, loving post 🫶

ynofficial: i'm way more excited about this actually

carlossainz55: 🤨

fan41: who's the best man and maid of honour?

charles_leclerc: maxverstappen1 best man

ynofficial: danielricciardo man of honour

fan42: crying bc maxiel will be walking down the aisle together

liked by danielricciardo and maxverstappen1

BONUS:

#charles leclerc oneshot #charles leclerc sm au #charles leclerc social media fic

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eldritch-spouse · 1 year

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Hello. I am here to hurt Breg. And not in a sexy times way.

Okay i wanna set the scene. The meeting happens, Breg being a weirdo, Reader and breg finally start dating and being in a relationship, Shenanigans starts and happens, Maybe a year passes but oh what the hell is this? Reader’s slowly falling out of love.

Of course the first idea is “Don’t tell breg this cause he’ll freak out”. But then again, are we really gonna just keep up in a relationship with someone we dont really love anymore? Basically reader’s kinda in a dead end here tryna think of what to do. Might as well be honest am i right?

So reader tells Breg, Tryna explain it real gently to the poor guy. What’s Bregs next move? Kidnapping? Tell them “haha no your not wdym you dont love me anymore”. Like is the dude really gonna try and keep reader, Hoping they can fall in love with him again? Tryna still be in a relationship where Reader doesn’t really love him anymore? Or idk this just gets us killed 🤷

Anyways thats all, Feel free to ignore this. Also fun fact i was typing this while listening to Fantasy by Mariah Carey. Yeah don’t question me. But i do recommend it.

Oh no. Oh no no.

What do you mean falling out of love with him? No. Not even close. Get real.

He didn't go through all this effort just for you to fall out of love, to get bored of him. That's... That's just wrong. How could you? How fucking selfish do you have to be?! "I don't love you anymore."... Just like that. Breg can't understand, he can't- That's not a thing. That's an excuse, and a cruel, pointless, disgusting one at that. Just tell him, okay? If he did something wrong, tell him.

Don't play around like that. Breg really doesn't like that joke, angel. It's not funny. You might not want to say that again.

Breg's first strategy is denial. Denial all the way. In fact, one of the first things he does is leave the conversation, mostly not to hurt you or himself during the initial shock of it. He'll return some time later, pretending the exchange didn't happen, and everytime you try to start the same topic, he'll loudly interrupt, or desperately seek for a distraction. This may lead him to grabbing you too hard in an effort to get to you divert your attention to something else, but the breeder express clear regret when you cry out.

Then comes the silence.

And if you've been around Breg enough (a year will do), then you know this is around the time where you either drop a subject completely or deal with the consequences of pressing on. Breg won't reply to you when you start conversations about falling out of love, and he will oftentimes try to remove himself from the situation or do something to keep himself occupied and to prevent his mind from wondering.

Persist and Breg will take drastic measures.

You get an explosive reaction. Breg will reveal to you how deeply this is affecting him, breaking down into a crying, screaming, snarling mess about how none of it is fair, about how he only wanted to love you, how he's been behaving so well and doing everything right and you don't get to take his happiness away- You just don't. He's furious, he's broken. He can't function without you, he only bothered to integrate into society fully because of you, so you'd love him, see him as a proper mate. By some miracle of God, Breg actually succeeded, everything was so fucking perfect, and now you just had to ruin it, didn't you?

Well no. That's not how this is going to end at all. You don't get to decide.

Maybe it's time you take a break, stay home, and let Breg handle the bigger things, yes? Don't worry about anything, he'll take care of it. Because clearly, the two of you need some alone time. This is the initial stage of the kidnapping phase, and while there is room to salvage your current situation, you're on thin fucking ice, angel.

It's only a matter of time until Fasma stumbles onto this sad scene and advises Breg on how to properly keep someone captive.

#Bregory

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c-nan · 10 months

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okay so melissa sue anderson left little house on the prairie bc she thought they exhausted all of mary’s storylines and there was no more for her character but she was WRONG so i complied a list of writing choices the show writers could’ve done to extend her story the rest of the series:

1. mary and adam could have adopted james and cassandra cooper

to me, it would’ve made so much more sense if mary and adam adopted james and cassandra, rather than ma and pa (bc of space + money reasons). this would’ve keep mary in the show longer bc they could’ve have episodes focusing around the kids adjusting to life with mary and adam being their new parents (BAM, happy mary episodes). there would be episodes of the kids at school and mary helping them and such (which would ofc bring more mary and laura interaction bc i loved their sister bond). and of course they’d still visit ma and pa (esp with cassandra being carrie’s only friend and james looking up to albert), so mary would get tons more screen time, even in the eps that don’t revolve around her.

(also, i love cassandra, she’s super cute and a great addition to the show, but like. she takes a lot away from carrie i feel, and i don’t think it would’ve been that way if mary and adam would’ve adopted cassandra (and james) instead)

2. mary could’ve gotten pregnant again and the baby could’ve lived

she lost her first one before it was even born and she lost her second to a horrific house fire, the least the writers could do is give her a baby that lives!! the real mary ingalls never got married, never got children, so i found it unnecessarily cruel that they give the fictionalized character two and then take them both away for what? shock value? stupid imo. a part of me believes that they tried to give her a happier ending than the real mary ingalls, but honestly this seems worse than never being married or having children at all. ANYWAY, with the trauma of losing her first two children, having another would bring on a great, long-term storyline of her and adam being paranoid of any harm that may hypothetically come to it (which would be subtly weaved into mary-centric episodes about her and adam having a family) but by the end of the series, the child would still be happily alive and she’d be HAPPY!!!! and still living in walnut grove of course <3

3. mary and adam could’ve moved back to sleepy eye

adam could’ve gotten a job at that one firm (remember the one Important Lawyer Guy wanting him at his firm after the land case??), and mary could’ve kept the blind school open and teach with hester sue (what she’s wanted to do HER WHOLE LIFE). i think the stupidest thing the writers did to her story was to introduce this wonderful teaching opportunity, have her fall in love with all her students and with teaching, having the perfect life, JUST to rip it all away bc stupid-ass adam got his eyesight back and decide he doesn’t give two shits about the blind school or the kids bc now he can be a lawyer despite all the work they went through continuously to keep the school going. who cares what mary wants?? adam sure doesn’t. and idk, mary not giving much of a fight to stay in sleepy eye and continue to teach never sat right with me, it’s not in her character and honestly feels like an injustice to her. i feel her having the opportunity to go back and fight for her school to reopen would be more true to how she’s been established all these years and would definitely get her a two-parter and keep her in the show (even if we only see her on the odd ep when they travel to sleepy eye for work. better than nothing 🤷)

4. (my personal fave and not an option for the show but can’t a girl dream) mary could’ve left adam bc he doesn’t respect her life and wishes, and go back to sleepy eye to reopen the blind school. there, she could’ve eventually fell in love with one of the female townsfolk and finally live her best lesbian life surrounded by people who love and appreciate her

if i hadn’t made it clear yet, i hate adam and i love any alternative where he is most definitely not a part of mary’s life lmfao. sure, they had their cute moments but i cannot get over the fact that more often than not, he’s an asshole and i can’t stand him <3 the complete disregard for her wishes (taking her away from TEACHING) really irks my ass and not for a second did he stop and think “is there anyway i can achieve my dream without taking away mary’s?” no. no he didn’t, he didn’t care, he didn’t even ask her. like. dude. i feel this would be the perfect ending for her, and many episodes could be used to show her befriending the female townsperson, becoming good friends, and eventually fall in love (and this lady would APPRECIATE HER!!) all the while reopening the blind school and finally getting her happy ending!!!!! idk, it’s perfect to me, there’s no flaws in this one but ik the 80’s (and honestly today too) were too homophobic for this 🙄 it’s real for me, it’s canon idc.

final notes

i’m well aware there’s probably a million more ideas i can come up with and when i do i’ll just rb an addition, but these are the best i’ve got right now!! and notice how i was able to add to her storyline without giving her unbearable anguish?? wish the writers could’ve done that!! but no!! alas, i work with the cards i’m dealt, and i’ve spent a lot of time thinking of these alternatives which helps sooth the pain of awful writing choices.

i guess i’m just upset they took a character with so much potential (and one of the most interesting storylines imo) and just give her nothing and reduce her to nothing more than a wife. by the end of her story, it seemed like she was just there to be adam’s side-piece which doesn’t sit right with me. she deserved better than that and melissa sue anderson deserved better than that (she is SUCH an amazing actress, and it really sucks to see her put on the back burner since s5)

anyway, ik im yelling into the void here but idc i needed to get it all written down lol

#JUSTICE FOR MARY!!!!!#the adam hate is so evident in this lmfao i appologize if you like adam #i’ve honestly tried and i found it impossible to like him 🤷#oh well #this is about MARY not him it’s her turn #mary ingalls #little house on the prairie #lhotp #this isn’t proof read lmao hope it makes sense

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wikiangela-fanfics · 2 years

Text

Fictober22 - 23. Not on my watch!

Fandom: 911

Ship: Buck x Eddie

Summary: Just a usual evening at the Diaz house, which takes an unexpected turn.

Ao3

Words: 1170

Note: Apparently I can't stop writing about buddie 🤷😂 so here's another short and silly one idk haha

***

“Oh, no, dad’s winning!” Chris exclaimed, as all three of them sat on the couch playing some video game. Buck was in the middle, with Chris and Eddie on each side.

“Not on my watch!” Buck said, and before Eddie could react, he got pushed off the couch, and Buck stalled his avatar in the game, too, making Chris win the race. His son started cheering, while Eddie grumpily got off the floor.

“It’s not fair, you two always team up against me.” he complained.

“Well, I gotta help my favorite Diaz.” Buck grinned at him and Eddie almost broke his mock-annoyed facade. Buck had such a charming smile, you couldn’t look at it and not smile back. Chris beamed at Buck’s words, too, and then it was simply impossible not to smile back.

“Wow, that hurts.” Eddie tried to keep serious, but he did laugh briefly. “Whatever, I’m not playing with you guys anymore.” he put the controller on the table and moved to walk out of the room.

“Aw, Eds, don’t pout.” Buck teased.

“I’m not pouting.” he rolled his eyes. “I’m gonna go order dinner. What do you guys want?”

“Pizza.” Buck answered immediately.

“So basic.” Eddie shook his head with a smile. Buck made an offended face.

“I want pizza, too.” Chris added.

“You got it.” he grinned at Buck, who stuck out his tongue like a child. It shouldn’t have been as adorable as Eddie found it. Eddie just laughed and went to the kitchen, where he was pretty sure he left his phone. Whenever Buck was around and all three of them spent time together, Eddie just felt so happy and carefree, as if nothing could ever be wrong. Those were his favorite moments.

He ordered pizza, and when it got there, they put on a movie to watch while eating, while still talking and bickering like they did the whole evening. Like always, it was pretty great. Soon after that, it was bedtime for Christopher, which left Buck and Eddie alone on the couch, finishing the movie. They were sitting closer than was necessary, their thighs touching. Buck just finished the last slice of the already-cold pizza, and since Eddie kept glancing at him more often than necessary, he noticed that Buck got some sauce on his face. So, without even thinking about it, Eddie grabbed a napkin and delicately wiped the sauce off of Buck’s cheek. Buck looked at him weirdly, but didn’t say anything, just focused on the movie again.

And Eddie sat there, feeling his cheeks grow hot, and wondering what the fuck was wrong with him. Why didn’t he just say something? Why go there immediately? He was getting too comfortable with this whole domesticity thing with Buck – but it wasn’t his fault, Buck was always there, helping his kid with homework, cooking breakfast or dinner, helping him clean up, picking Chris up from school or a friend’s house, just hanging out and being there for them… And don’t get him wrong, Eddie loved all that. But if you added his very strong, constantly growing feelings for his best friend to all this, well… shit could get confusing. Especially since apparently his brain turned off around Buck, in non-work-related settings.

He tried to relax and just watch the movie, pretending that he didn’t do anything weird. If they didn’t acknowledge it, it didn’t happen. Whatever. Not like he was gonna spend the whole night lying in bed and berating himself for it. Best to ignore it.

But then, he felt Buck’s gaze on him, and from the corner of his eye Eddie could see him just observing him. So, Eddie decided to be braver than he felt and turned his head to Buck. Did he mention they were sitting close? Because they were way too close, and Eddie almost stopped breathing. Buck had a curious expression and a soft smile on his face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Eddie chuckled nervously, a slow, involuntary smile spreading across his face. Seriously, was there one person in the world who could resist a smile when Buck smiled at them? If so, something had to be seriously wrong with them.

“You look happy lately.” Buck said after a few moments of just staring at Eddie. That was not what Eddie expected after being weird just a few minutes ago.

“Uh, that’s because I am.” he answered, confused, still smiling. “You make me happy.” he dared to add, whispering, now not only his cheeks but his whole face and neck felt hot. What was he even doing, if this backfired, he was gonna have to fucking… move out of the country, no question about it.

“That’s all I wanna do.” Buck whispered. Eddie’s heart was pounding, he was sure Buck could both hear and feel it. “I love to see you happy.” then, he just turned back towards the screen, and what just happened?

“You can’t just say that.” Eddie burst out suddenly, making Buck look back at him with amusement and surprise. Honestly, Eddie was a bit annoyed at how confident and casual Buck was right now, while he could barely hold it together. It was so unlike him, but one look and smile from Buck, and Eddie was a complete mess. When did it get to this point? He knew he was falling for him harder and deeper every day, but he didn’t think he was this deep yet.

“Say what?”

“Buck.”

“Can I ask you something?” Buck asked. Eddie nodded, anxiously. “Would I ruin our friendship if I kissed you right now?” and wow, his voice was steady, his expression still curious, and the little bit of nerves Eddie could see in his eyes only.

For a few seconds Eddie could only stare at him, his eyes wide. Did he hear that correctly? That wasn’t possible… He’d been pining for Buck for so long, and now on some random evening he just basically decides to… to insinuate that the feelings are mutual? What kind of alternate universe was Eddie in right now?

“Hell no.” he said eagerly once he processed the question. “Please kiss me.” he added, and Buck laughed, leaning in. Eddie met him halfway, having waited for this for too long. Buck’s soft lips moved firmly and confidently, and Eddie didn’t have a single thought in his head aside from ‘he’s kissing me! Buck’s kissing me!’ The kiss was intense, but soft, and felt way too short – when Buck pulled away, Eddie chased after him, earning another wonderful smile.

“Hey.” he looked into Eddie’s eyes. “Do you want to go out on a date? With me?” he added, as if it wasn’t clear.

“Yeah. Of course I do.” Eddie grinned, going back in for another kiss. He was still kind of in shock at how that regular evening turned out. They were just hanging out as always, nothing unusual, and now Eddie and Buck were… going on a fucking date. Who could’ve seen this coming?

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arisunakayama · 2 years

Note

Something that’s a bit dark but a scenario where reader is a normal grunt in Nexus and has a crush one Hofnarr? Like each time they get a chance to see him, they would talk. But the reader notices something is off because Hofnarr is worried and they just tell them that something is gonna happen the next the day. Something BIG.

Could end with reader trusting him or just be confused and not understanding. Idk. 🤷

Please Believe Me!

Dr. Hofnarr X Reader

It always rained in the Nexus city. Cars bustling through the pothole filled streets while people struggled to get by and survive. Though you supposed it could be worse. If anything, living in the city is probably a better option than living in the wasteland fighting for your life to not become bandit food. You did try to find things in life that made it better. One of them being Hofnarr who you would run into from time to time whenever you two were on your way to work.

Hofnarr was actually one of the few things in your life that made it better, especially with living in this godforsaken city. Let alone this state. The two of you used to be neighbors before you two became good friends. Still are too till this day. You loved talking to him, seeing how passionate he would get with talking about his hobbies and things about his job. Though he wouldn’t get too specific at what he did at his job. You respected it, not many people were trustworthy to begin with around these parts. You were just happy you were able to just talk with him. Though from the coat you saw him wearing, you could tell he worked as a scientist.

There were times he would brighten your day by making you laugh. A genuine one too. Something that you haven’t felt before the fall of Nevada. It made your heart swell and your cheeks redden. Others would be him making sure you would get home safely before he went home himself.

The days go on and your chest tightens in excitement. The times you two would stop by a small café together to grab coffee or tea together. How you two would not realize that one of you had already made it to your home or work. It felt like your heart was on fire. Talking to Hofnarr was like a drug to you. No matter what, you wanted him to stay. To keep talking to you. But you knew better than to keep him from whatever his job was.

The next day you walked down the same sidewalk in hopes of seeing him again. Your heartbeating against your chest in anticipation as you waited to see him impatiently. When your eyes landed on him, your face had brightened into a fon smile before waving over to Hofnarr to catch his attention. He looks up from the ground, slightly jumping as his eyes widened only to soften once seeing you, body relaxing. That’s strange. What’s making him jump like that?

You studied his body language, he was tense. Almost to the point where every little thing would possibly make him jump. His hands clammy, clenching and unclenching. He even looked as if he hadn’t slept considering how noticable the dark circles were under his eyes. Let alone how disheveled his hair is.

“Hofnarr? Are you okay?” You tilt your head slightly before raising an eyebrow.

“H-huh? Oh yeah! Yeah! I’m fine. Just a little tired from staying up all night.” Hofnarr’s eyes would dart around as he tried to avoid the question. It was obvious he was hiding something. It hurt you a lot to know he was under a lot of stress. Especially when it came to someone as sweet as him. You tried to push a little more.

“Are you sure? Usually when you’re stressed out, you’re more sluggish than this…” You look at him up and down before continuing “Hey, Hofnarr… if there’s something wrong you can always tell me, y’know.”

Hofnarr just stares at you, lips pursed together while looking as if he was contemplating whethee to tell you what he had just found out during of his projects. You take it as him not wanting to tell you. You let out another soft sigh before. “Hey, don’t worry about telling me. You wanna go grab some coffee before work?”

“That would be nice, thank you…”

The way there to the usual café the two of you would go to was a but quiet compared to what usually would happen. The two of you did manage to strike up a conversation to help him get whatever was off his mind. Though it only did what it could before Hofnarr ended up downing his entire cup of coffee. You tried to stop him, but in the end he ended up doing it anyways.

It made your stomach twist in knots as the two of you stopped at your work place. You turn your head to glance at Hofnarr, a small yet soft smile making its way onto your lips as you bid him a small farewell.

“Be safe… okay?” You turn to go take a step into the building of your work place until a hand shot out and grabbed your wrist.

“Wait, (Y/n)… I’ll… I’ll tell explain to you tomorrow, okay?” Hofnarr’s eyes were desperate making your heart soften at the sight. You only give him a nod before telling him just to meet you at your house tomorrow night. You didn’t have work that day anyways. Hofnarr gives you a relieved smile before letting you go before apologizing to you briefly for the sudden grab at you. You only shake your head at him before dismissing him to go to work.

The next day you were cozied up in your apartment, waiting for Hofnarr to arrive. You sat down on your slightly tattered sofa as you watched whatever was playing on the tv. That being the Slaughter Time Arena that would be hosted by that one host. Was it Garret Goyle that was his name? Oh well. Not like you paid attention to the show anyways. As you almost nodded of into sleep, there was panicked banging against your door making you jolt out of your stupor.

You quickly get up and rush to the door, opening it to see a very disheveled Hofnarr who quickly rushed into your apartement without saying a word. You were about to say something about his behavior, he was acting too erratic and sporadic for you to understand what was going on. Until you saw his state.

Your eyes grew wide at his panicked state, clothing and hair even more disheveled than before. Splotches and specks of blood all over that one white lab coat. You rush over to him thinking he was hurt only for him to grab onto your arms before bringing you in into a tight embrace. Whatever he had just gone through was clearly a lot and traumatic.

“Hey hey! Hoff, are you okay?!” You light tap his shoulders, trying to get an answer from him.

“Oh god they were going to kill us, (Y/n)!” His voice was still shaky, his embrace he had on you tightening.

You were confused, who the hell was trying to kill him? Let alone, who was “us”?. You needed to pry for more, you couldn’t stand seeing him in such a state like he was. It scared you, it scared you a lot.

“Hofnarr, what are you talking about?”

“Jebediah and I! He came into the lab asked me to—“ He stops mid sentence, afraid to tell you for if you also knew too much, you also might be a potential target. He couldn’t risk that. Not you. Hofnarr releases you from his hold and looks at you straight in the eyes.

“(Y/n), I need you to listen to me.” He swallows the lump in his throat before continuing on “Something really bad is about to happen. I can’t tell you what, but I really need you to believe me!”

You just stare at him, eyebrows furrowing as you tried to process what was going on and why he couldn’t tell you. But you knew that if you tried to ask or probe him with more questions, he would just evade them. Instead, you purse your lips together as you look away from him for a brief moment.

“(Y/n), please. I really need you to believe you. You’re the only one I can think of going to.” Your heart skipped a bit as you heard his desperation. Your face softened once again before looking at him, his eyes looking straight into yours as he waited for an answer from you. A long wxhale was given before you but the bottom of your lip.

“Okay… I believe you.” Hofnarr’s eye lit up in relief as he embraced you once more.

“Oh thank god! We need to get out of here, it’s no longer safe for you here anymore.”

#madcom x reader #madness combat x reader #dr hoffnar x reader #dr.hoffnar x reader #madness tricky x reader #tricky x reader

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the-kestrels-feather · 8 months

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Alright I have more thoughts on this than I thought we're gonna do this and I mean do this:

Unpacking My Thoughts on A Haunting in Venice (2023)

((DISCLAIMER: I have not read an Agatha Christie book (yet), specifically not the one this was based on so I am talking solely about the movie not the adaptation of the source material))

(SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT)

So I wanna say this was not the worst movie in the trilogy

((looking at you, Death on the Nile))

And believe me when I say I WANTED to like it

Seeing the trailers made me excited, I love me some Gothic horror and it had all the vibes of that

And I did like some things a lot that I'll touch in at the end

But there was also a lot I really didn't like

For one, it relied WAY too heavily on jumpscares. To me, it's the laziest form of horror, and a lot of the ones in this didn't feel... earned I guess?

Like when Poirot's (apologies in advance if I spell this wrong I was never a speller) in the bathroom and he sees Alicia's ghost

It didn't feel earned in my opinion

Or the one where Harry flies at them when they first enter Alicia's room

Also there was no point to Harry being there?? You could cut the bird entirely from the plot and it would have 0 effect on it overall.

The teacup could've broken some other way and it would've been fine. Like I can't even call the bird comedic relief because he wasn't used like that. He was just there.

Also the opening scene with the seagull grabbing the blackbird? What was that? Can someone explain that to me because it feels like it was completely unimportant.

((also not to go full CinemaSins for a second but how is that room not like. Covered in bird shit? Birds don't have a ton of control over where they poop so it's not like he was litterbox trained))

I'm sorry but Tina Fey's character irritated me.

She was like a less interesting Bouc imo 🤷

That's personal opinion though idk

The Children's Vendetta should've been incorporated better or cut entirely because it wasn't handled super well in my mind.

It felt like an afterthought when it was brought up for the doctor and the medium.

For one, they toned down Poirot's OCD coding, which, seeing as it was really only ever played for laughs, I appreciated as someone with OCD

Again, this isn't the worst movie ever, or the worst of the trilogy

I have a lot of things I liked about it

Please don't make the disorder that makes my life a living nightmare sometimes a quirky trait Kenneth, kay thanks.

And the vibes were IMMACULATE

The shots of the mansion were just.... OH

I liked Leopald a lot, he was a fun character

Those are really the only things I can think of though

That said I don't agree with the review I saw that called it not scary enough

Because it's not supposed to be a horror movie, like another review said it's a whodunnit with horror infused in it

If you want a horror movie go see The Nun II my guy 🤷

Anyways I think those are all my thoughts? At least for now

#a haunting in venice #hercule poirot #agatha christie #murder on the orient express

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mcdbrainrot · 1 year

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since i said that guess what i'm embracing‼️ my pjo obsession. yessir this means demigods‼️‼️(if i ever. ever mention that series again pls hit me so hard on my head i forget that it's a thing)

yada yada easy stuff out of the way first bc this was an impulse decision shad/the nether wtv it's called = tartarus easy yk

BUT I SAID DEMIGODS SO LETS ACTUALLY DO THAT

lucinda!!! honestly there's like. nothing on here that talks abt luci and im sorry </3 she'd be either a child of hecate or she'd be like a helper of circe ykyk but she's rlly good w the mist‼️ also if it wasn't. obvious this is pjo based meaning some pjo stuff is here idc u can fight me on this id love to hear opinions

aph. easy child of zeus she's rlly big on justice and she's literally irene so yk i think it's fair to say king of gods = matron goddess(is that right. am i right-)

also come at me for being basic or wtv laurance son of aphrodite but guess what‼️ he did like everything for aph out of love. even if it was super one sided love is love‼️

ZANE. so i think he could have multiple diff parents so i'll name them off rn. 1) mars‼️ i think he would be son of a roman god/goddess for reasons. but mars bc mars is like. one of the most prominent roman gods after like jupiter. he's the roman equivalent to ares so i think if u know anything abt ares u know why i say mars. 2) dolos or dolus‼️ not one of the olympians or a more major god most know abt but he is the spirit of trickery and guile‼️ master of cunning deception, craftiness, and treachery. i think this makes sense bc uh. hello? zane was introduced and "just a priest" and while aph got a weird ass vibe from him to our knowledge(us, the viewers and aph herself) he did nothing wrong! he was just a weird funky dude we knew nothing of! 3) petulantia(roman) or hybris(greek)! she was the goddess or personified spirit of insolence, hubris, violence, reckless pride, arrogance, and generally outrageous behavior. while i don't think zane is most of those, he is definitely violent and arrogant. for good reason ofc but yk 🤷 4) MERCURY‼️‼️ how i didn't think of him first idk. but i'm focusing on the fact that he's the god of thievery and cunning AND that he was the personal messenger of jupiter. bc guess what‼️ zane was garte's messenger(basically..) and ofc ofc the cunning half of the thievery(though you could say he stole garroth? idk. thoughts.)

nana‼️ daughter of demeter!!! idk she just seems so very nature oriented to me and it's prob just bc she's a baker but oh well‼️ that's just what she gives off!!!! she def has a big garden that she tends to and no u cannot fight me on that!!!!

#aphblr #aphmau #nana ashida #aphmau mcd #aphmau nana #ashida nanako #zane ro'meave #laurance zvhal #aphmau dante #aphmau lucinda #🐯khi's thoughts #OK SO I WILL PROBABLY COME BACK TO THIS SPECIFIC THOUGHT #but. zane drained me IDK WHY I PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO HIM⁉️#also my reference was theoi.com ‼️‼️‼️ probably not the most accurate but oh well! i'm here to think so very deeply abt these characters not #-abt greek or roman gods!!!!

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marc-spectorr · 2 years

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Hey Callie it's sails I have a nerd ramble about the opening so hopefully it helps.

if I remember right the punisher, daredevil, none of the defenders (iron fist, Jessica Jones, and Luke cage ) aren't in the marvel openings eather. And there making a midnight sons game so maybe will get a movie sometime in the future (moon knight is in that group, along with daredevil, punisher and ghost rider I believe) but, if that dose happen will have to bring ghost rider back in the MCU (no one has played him sense nick cage in the early 2000s I think but, I could be wrong.) and I think Ryan gosling said he would love to play Johnny Blaze so 🤷. Don't feel bad because our moon boys aren't in the intro there not alone in that regard I don't think the X-Men are in the opening eather.

Also just a sidenote about She Hulk, I want a Hulk movie with Mark Ruffolo in it I feel like he got robbed on that end (half the avengers have there own movies) and I refuse to watch she hulk because of it like give the hulk his own movie you cowards. Anyway I hope this made you some what better and I hope your day tomorrow is better then today. 🖤💚🧡

Also sorry for my nerd ramble okay sails out ✌️

hiya sails, how are youuu??

ok the difference between moon knight and those characters (minus daredevil) is that moon knight is part of the mcu right now. even though there was no distinct connection other than the mention of the ancestral plane from black panther, he’s part of phase 4. it makes sense that the defenders + the punisher aren’t in the intro bc they haven’t made their official debuts to the mcu yet. the same goes for ghost rider and the x-men. i think once daredevil: born again is out, that’s when matt will be added.

what’s making me mad is that we have no idea when mk is coming back and removing him from the intro is like further disconnecting him from the mcu. yeah yeah, i know the intro is like 30 secs long, and it’s impossible to fit all of the characters in it, but i’m salty af lmfao. i’m just praaaaying that we get the slightest crumb of news about mk’s future in D23 in a few weeks, or else i’m really going to lose my mind.

ooO look,,, i love hulk. still, i think at this point he’s not going to have a solo movie. it seems as though marvel is focusing more on some of the newer characters vs. the original avengers, which is fine by me! there’s no doubt that hulk will still be an integral character in this saga, and tbh, i enjoyed watching episode 1 of she-hulk. i’m putting a lot of trust that kevin feige and co. knows exactly what’s best to move the story forward. is it a good or bad thing? idk. but as long as it keeps me entertained for the next several years, i’m all for it.

#asks #vermillionsails

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bylertruther · 2 years

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Dumb take: (the take itself isn't dumb, I'm dumb): I still don't really get how/why El lost her powers?? Like I promise I was paying attention in s3 and s4 LOL but I just don't understand?? Like it would've made more sense if she'd lost them after the Battle of Starcourt to coincide with losing Hopper, losing her powers would've been an emotional/trauma response. But no, it lined up with her having that tiny chunk of the Mind Flayer in her leg, but getting the powers back didn't have anything to do with that? Idk it kind of just felt like a plot device that the Duffers didn't explain well enough. That or I'm stupid. 🤷

if ur dumb then i'm dumb, anon 🫂

tbh i have no idea lol. i think it was a combination of things. henry got her powers through the bite, but she lost them because of that and overexerting herself. remember that the flesh flayer was a BIGGGGGGG ass boy and strong as FUCK too. and it regenerated every time! it was who knows how many people + eldritch powers + henry's powers all against her. that's why she barely wins and falls after. so it wasn't like any other fight she's had with the demodogs or even the demogorgon tbh. it was really hard on her.

i think they describe the stress on her brain as being like a stroke? or something like that. i wasn't too invested lol esp not in such ehhhh metaphors. i think it's like when they describe the hive mind as a virus—something that the average watcher would just hear and go hmmm yeah okay i'll buy it for now, not something we're supposed to think too hard about.

it confuses me though, because, like... okay... if henry got her powers through the bite, then why couldn't he just get whatever he wanted from will through a bite, too? why did he have to possess him? but anyway. this isn't abt my boy lol<3

the bite + the physical stress of the fight + the mental stress = bye bye powers 👋 and remember that at that point she wasn't even in her final form bc she repressed all that shit with henry. so that's why they go allllll the way back to the memories where she's learning how to use them for the first time. she still has them inside of her, but it was such a traumatic event that her body repressed it.

did tht help at all? or did i jus repeat myself fifty times lol? either way i do feel like it's something in the past tbh like i don't think it'll get brought up again? idk. i could be wrong! as always.

#asks #this was interesting :^)

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canonfeminine · 1 month

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　　DOG-SITTING + YOU

⭐. . . dog sitter! Percy Jackson x child! reader

in which: Percy needs money so he starts dog sitting, you kinda just came with the package.

authors note: idk what's with me and coming up with ideas randomly but I was looking at the poll and didn't know if I should do Percy, Jason, or Leo. So I just chose Mr. sassy. don't blame me, blame the poll 🤷 also! this fic is platonic. i'm not some werido whose shipping Percy with a kid, be fr <3 (also, if you like this one, here's part two)

warnings: Percy being (slightly) responsible, small injury, and a bunch of wholesome energy.

Becoming a pet sitter was not on Percy's bucketlist.

Look, what had happened was: Percy needed a way to make money so he could take Annabeth out on a date. Now, in consideration, Percy could have asked Sally for some money, but he was, in his words, a big kid now. And being a big kid meant not (always) relying on your very awesome mom for everything.

But that almost meant Percy would have to do one thing: figure out what he was going to do. And that's when the idea of becoming a dog sitting showed up.

You see, the place where Percy and his mom lived didn't usually get new neighbors. But when out of nowhere, they get a new neighbor down the hall with one of the cutest puppies Percy has ever seen, he knew he had to arrange something. He knew from listening (aka eavesdropping) on Sally and the other person who lived there, that they were pretty busy. Meaning that sometimes, they would have to stay at work overtime to get stuff done.

Was it a little selfish to be thinking like that? maybe. But if you also think about it, if he watched their dog for them, they wouldn't have to worry about anything happening while they were gone. It was a win-win situation for both of them.

Now, the second thing he had to do: figure out how to ask—

Sally may or may not have heard Percy talking to Annabeth about his idea, so she did it for him. Can we give Sally Jackson a vote for the best mother award again? thank you.

So there Percy was, sitting in his neighbors apartment and playing with their dog. Thanks to his very awesome mom. "I have this in the bag!" Percy said in-between giggles. "quite literally, nothing could go wrong—"

"Who are you?" A voice said out of nowhere. There stood you, in light pajamas and a brown rabbit stuffed animal in your hand. You looked confused (and slightly afraid.) "And why are you playing with my puppy?" You tilted your head to the side.

"Uhm. they didn't tell me they had a kid," he mumbled the last part under his breath. "Your parents hired me to watch you dog. And you, I guess?" he said hesitantly.

"Hm...If that's true.." you walked over to your fridge. Whenever your parents had somebody over, they would leave a little note telling you about it. A yellow sticky was placed right there with the words:

Hey, [your name.] I don't know when you'll see this but if you see some random teenage boy playing with the dog, do not worry! your'e mom hired somebody to watch the dog, so he'll be there. I'm pretty sure his name is Peter. Or.. something like that. If he starts acting weird, call me. Not your mom.

Love, Your dad.

"Is your name Peter?" you turned your head to ask.

Percy held back a laugh. "It's Percy. Where'd you get Peter from?" You walked over to the couch and sat on the ground. "The note said your name might be Peter. I don't think my dad was paying much attention to your name." You shrugged, letting your puppy rub it's body against you.

"Wait. Percy. Is that short for Perseus?"

Percy blinked. "How'd you know?"

"I'm good at guessing names. And plus, Percy isn't really a popular name by itself so shortening it would make more sense."

"Your a smart cookie, huh?" He mused, getting up from the couch and sitting down next to you.

"I guess. I wouldn't call myself a smart cookie. More like.. a smart brownie or something." You nodded. "Yeah. Or a cool blueberry pancake. Now that, sounds cool."

Percy nodded in agreement. "Definitely. It fits you better too."

"Why, thank you Mr. Percy." You did a little bow. "Anyways, wanna hear some school drama I have?"

"Oh, go ahead. It's been a hot minute since I've heard some good drama." Percy smirked, a sudden interested look onto his face.

You smirked back. "Okay, So I heard that—"

#𓂃 ✴: zuri’s fics!#I actually really liked this one #l'd also like to say the tea WAS spilled.#had Percy gasping and asking for part twos frfr #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #percy jackson x reader #pjo x y/n #pjoverse #pjo x reader

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backtochicago · 2 months

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I think the way he delivered it was a bit cold, but everything seems pretty reasonable. Idk if I was drunk and cuddling someone for an hour and they were giggling along with me and reciprocating I’d assume they were fine with it too 🤷 even talking for weeks after, it does seem like she re-visited the exchange later with some external input who had an agenda behind it (see rues tweet proving his point). But regret doesn’t necessarily mean assault.

i haven't been on twt to see reaction and tbh, i don't need to. but in my opinion, i didn't expect george to deliver the last sentences, cold but right on spot.

i think it started from conflicting body languages reading. keep in my both of them were drunk and dubious, so their reading body language could be mixture and misconcepted, which led to the point they started reading the wrong signal.

first side is caiti, i don't follow much with the idea of people saying caiti was silent, she was not silent, she did cause engagement activity. silent was when she didn't say anything, she didn't react anything, but she did react and expressed to stay. she did cause engagement activity. but again, she was drunk and dubious, so her mindset and activity on the moment of time was unidentified and uncertainty, not evaluating whether it was actually non-con or consensual at that moment of time. again, she was not silent, but in dubious mindset and signal

in george side, it went the same path, he was drunk and dubious. if he saw caiti still giggling and laughing and even cuddling with him, engaging with him after he tickled her, i couldn't blame him that he believed that was her geniue reaction and continued doing that. keep in mind again, george was drunk and also dubious, so he could have read the signal unclearly.

and after the event, when they were both sober, they still treated everything normal and even exchange messages until george stop talking to her. it is fair that caiti genuinely didn't know that is sa or not and might still think it was okay until ( according to george ) the friendgroup hated dteam told that. also george, he did not have any idea that was s.a until caiti told him. both of them kept putting question mark into each others mouth.

again, this is what i think after hearing the story. feel free to talk more or correct me.

#never thought my A laws course can be used in this situation #rotaskie #anon ask

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hard-core-super-star · 7 months

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I- keep me on my toes??dhsjakak okay?? mhm, very deserved win....🙄 good thing luck is on my side, I could say the jury just likes me too much to not be merciful, but then that could lead to them proving me wrong just for the sake of it, so I'll keep quiet.

how so? 🤨 and, yeah... I think we maybe, just maybe, I'm saying maybe we should do this, I'm right behind you on this one. we nailed it.

thank you, but I think it shines brightest when you're the one using 119%. that's... that's cute 🥹 mailing it would only make the process longer and more complicated, so giving it to them in person was clearly better lmao. okay, so who has a better memory, you or a goldfish? more scientific research. yup, unfortunately that's how it, and I'm almost ranting about how unfair this is.

cute until be the person ignored by your cat who is literally your best friend 😭 poor baby, I didn't mean to laugh but the way you put it made it funny- hajkskakdjk oh my, this is so adorable. have you been with them for a long time? I'm also proud, I think we're both behaving ourselves about this.

yes! I just created a group of angst fic enthusiasts, you're invited to join it. (hmmmm... okay. this will be my “good night and sleep well” to you. here is your so wanted second star, you deserved it 💫 this one is a shooting star so you have one wish)

– 🌟

i definitely didn't fall asleep before you sent this last nightand it's definitely not 5am right now 😶 hey, hey, i don’t appreciate that sarcasm, put the eye roll away. that…might not be completely wrong but since you technically didn't say it, i won't confirm or deny your suspicions.

i mean, out of the two of us, you're still the anonymous one so you have an extra layer of safety. look at us finally agreeing on something, i’m proud. i don't know exactly how we should go about doing this but i’m down if you are 👀

you don't think it shines bright when a literal star uses it? akdjjdjdsksk 🥹 yeah, plus giving it to them in person also allowed me to see their reaction in real time. i don't think any of my friends ever thought it was as cool as i did but that's alright, no harm done 🤷 as painful as it is to admit it, if you're doing scientific research, i’m going to have to give it to the goldfish. my memory is awful which makes studying for exams very fun…not. it’s very unfair but weirdly…idk if romantic is the word i’m looking for but it’s something like that. not necessarily the having to hide part but being able to fall in love regardless of all the backlash that lingers.

i- you always end up laughing when i share these things so idk, i think you just like laughing at me, tbh. i am once again threatening to bring the sad eyes emoji back, i think i deserve it this time. i’ve had one of them for i think 8-ish years, almost 9, and the other one literally showed up at my door 4 years ago. i’ve obviously grown very attached to both of them, even if they’re mean af. i think so too, we’re very well behaved.

i will very happily join it considering so many of my fics end up leaning into angst territory. [i didn't see this last night but thank you anyway aksksksk it’s most definitely morning for you so good morning! and thank you!! finally. i only had to be dramatic and practically beg for it but i appreciate it. and i definitely made a wish, too bad i can't share it or it won't come true 😶]

#rubix replies #🌟

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howaboutcastiel-personal · 1 year

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I can’t pretend to be a good person anymore 🤷

I dislike my friend for really shallow reasons but I’m still there for her so much I feel like. Idk. Being a good person seems so transactional lately because I just don’t care about my friends and family. I miss when Ryder could come over every day. I fuckign cared about them. It was Jade before. It was Jerry before. It was fucking Kaitlyn before! It was Ali before. I haven’t cared about my friends in so goddamn long and most of the time when I do care it’s unreciprocated or they get tired of me and leave. I don’t know what else to do.

The only thing I can figure is that the people I choose to be friends are bad or dumb. Not Ryder but a lot of the others. Some of them even downright disgust me but I’m still nice to them? I still do thoughtful things when I can? I try to show them affection and share the best parts of myself with them? I’m just… not worth anything anymore really.

Anyway. She’s upsetting me. She can spend a whole day telling me her problems and I will listen and sympathize and offer advice when invited and appropriate. I can check up on her the next day, make sure she’s taking care of herself and not overthinking or shutting herself off. And then I can absolutely beg for help after a crisis and fucking nothing. No checking up on me. Thoughtfulness? No. Forgetfulness for absolute certain. She does so many things that are pet peeves of mine and she’s genuinely convinced that she can’t stop and/or that there’s nothing wrong with her. And she’s dumb.

And I hate that I feel that way because. She is one of the only people holding me together. I don’t know what else to do. She cares about me but if she could get away with never talking to me again I think that she would. But then she would come complain that she’s lonely. She’s not interested in entertaining my voice at all. She nods and smiles when she can and straight up tells me she’s not interested when she can’t. She can’t even pretend to care about what I think.

I can’t ask people to care about the things that I care about, but I should at least be able to tell the difference between talking to a brick wall and talking to her. And sometimes I choose to talk to the brick fucking wall. (Like now.) I just can’t understand why I exist anymore. I can’t understand why I don’t get along with people. I can’t understand how to make myself desirable and it’s not even that I hate myself it’s that I don’t. Know. How.

But her… and the other one. I’m disgusted by them sometimes. Their expression. Their audacity. Their outlook on life. Idk.

#diary

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concubuck · 2 years

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What happened after the succubus left? How did Al finally manage to, let's say, bring himself down to "normal"?

Instead of answering this normally I just wrote a fic bc that's more interesting. Follow up to this fic.

(It bears clarifying that the person who left wasn't a succubus. She's a normal human sex worker—just one that's had a few centuries of experience marketing specifically to succubi. She just does this for the money, not because she's got a succubus's biological need to fuck.)

This fic takes place several weeks after the last one, during which time Alastor's finally hauled himself outside to seek more extreme solutions and go to the doctor. I plan to write that scene later but tl;dr the doctor visit goes like "you say you're fucking? but you're STILL horny? damn bitch i dunno that's supposed to work, your bloodwork looks normal idk what's wrong 🤷"

I've only very loosely proofread this, so I apologize for any typos and/or incoherency.

✨💖 Alastor figures out how to orgasm 💖✨

Warnings for attempted & referenced sexual assault/rape, alcoholism, and horrendous hygiene (both personal & environmental).

###

Alastor didn't think he'd been sober for the last two weeks.

He hadn't drunk like this since the seventies, when the weight of Hell had been too heavy for him to bear, and he'd spent most of his time trying to artificially hasten the arrival of Armageddon via serial blackouts. With the dispassionate distance with which he could now scrutinize his former human life, he could tell now that he'd spent the seventies wanting to die.

He didn't want to die now, did he?

No, he didn't. Not after he'd fought so hard to live again. He just wanted to stop feeling like this. God, he'd give anything to stop feeling like this.

The short reprieves granted by whiskey dick were the only thing keeping him going. The reprieves were irregular—he'd been lied to about how much alcohol would dampen his libido. And they were impossible to really enjoy—by the time he was drunk enough to stop feeling his constant arousal, he was also too drunk to feel anything else. But any port in a storm.

He'd started making rare trips out of his temporary quarters; first to try to find solutions to his problem, then to ask for help. Today, on his way home from the doctor, he stopped in at a bar for the first time since he'd changed. He couldn't keep asking for extensions on his new succubus stipend forever. Soon he'd lose his free housing and his one source of income, and he'd have to make a choice: either he had to get a job, or he had to return to getting his food and lodgings the way he had for the last eighty-five years—by using the Radio Demon's reputation to terrify people into giving him what he wanted for free. One meant trying to get stable employment while too horny to function; the other meant returning to the limelight and letting all of Hell see he was too horny to function; and both meant he had to get used to being out in public again. If he was going to have to be horny in public anyway, a bar was as good a place as any to start.

So he found a dive, claimed a booth—letting the shadows and seats form a flimsy shield between his wretched body and any curious customers—and grimly got to work drinking himself into a stupor.

###

"You doing alright there, sweetheart?"

Alastor didn't register the fact that he was supposed to be "sweetheart" until somebody shook his shoulder. He swatted the hand away irritably and sat up; he hadn't even realized he'd laid his head down amongst his empty glasses. "What?" he croaked.

"You alright there?" the sinner repeated. He was some kind of mammalian sinner with a twitchy, nervous snout, a buzz cut, and a t-shirt displaying the Monopoly Man with a no doubt witty caption that Alastor couldn't focus on well enough to read.

"Fine. I'm just..." He couldn't think of any excuse that didn't sound pathetic. He was sure he looked pathetic; huddled up in a sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants like he was too sick to dress himself. He'd thought the loose pants would be more accommodating to his perpetual boner, but they really just gave it more room to tent up. They weren't even a matching set of sweats. He didn't even have shoes on. He rubbed his eyes and asked, "Am I being kicked out?

"No, no, sweetie. Nothing like that. I just wanted to make sure you're okay." The sinner spoke with the sort of soft baby tone used to soothe small skittish animals. "Maybe you need help home?

Not even blackout drunk would Alastor trust that line. He'd been in Hell too long.

His mental image of himself shifted from sickly invalid to sexy victim. He realized now how he really looked—a sex demon (translation: a being undeserving of humane treatment and designed only to fuck you), face flushed and forehead sweaty and eyes glazed with arousal, sitting awkwardly to accommodate his boner, too wasted to stay awake in the middle of the day, all alone. Easy prey. Cheap meat.

Did he care?

No.

So what if Mr. Monopoly wanted to use Alastor's body? Alastor didn't want to use it. If Alastor could let him take it off his hands permanently, he would. Mr. Monopoly could certainly borrow it.

"Sure." He slid out of the booth and got to his feet. The sinner had been practically bent double over Alastor, crowding him into his seat, one hand on the seat back and the other hand extended to help him up; but when Alastor stood, the sinner took a hasty step back, retracting his hand. Why? Because Alastor hadn't accepted the hand? Because the sinner hadn't expected his pretty drunk "sweetheart" to be so tall—or male? Because he'd recognized Alastor as the Radio Demon?

That was a problem for the sinner and his Uncle Pennybags shirt to deal with—but it certainly wasn't Alastor's problem. He was leaving, with or without company. He trudged toward the door, stumbling slightly on an uneven floorboard and clinging to the back of a booth seat for balance.

And then an arm slid around his waist to squeeze his hip, pulling him close to the sinner's side; even through Alastor's sweater, the arm felt so fleshy and human that he compulsively hitched up his shoulders and lifted his hands from revulsion at the mere possibility of brushing naked skin.

"Careful, sweetie. Don't want you getting hurt," Pennybags said, and Alastor was too tired to laugh at him. "You're in a bad shape, aren'cha?"

"I'm not that bad," Alastor insisted, noting distantly that the sinner's grip redirected Alastor's walk to force him to stumble over the sinner's feet and lean on the sinner for support.

"Maybe you should come home with me, so I can make sure nothing happens to you while you sober up," Mr. Monopoly went on, as if Alastor had never spoken. "It'd be a shame if something happened to you—especially pretty as you are." The hand on Alastor's hip slid down beneath the hem of his sweater to possessively squeeze one of Alastor's ass cheeks.

Something surged up from Alastor's groin into his chest—like an underground coal fire suddenly erupting into open air, dark mining shafts that had previously only belched dirty smelly smoke now erupting bright geysers of fire.

He stopped and seized the sinner's shoulder, squeezing tight. He didn't understand why he wasn't ripping the offending arm from its socket.

The sinner tried to keep walking, and only stopped after a couple of tugs revealed that Alastor was rooted to the spot too securely to simply drag along.

"You don't have anything to worry about," the sinner said warily. He'd tried to move his hand a little higher on Alastor's ass, to just below the small of his back, as if he'd only accidentally grabbed so low. "I'm not gonna let anybody hurt you, sweetheart."

Alastor let out a low, wry laugh that made the sinner tense up against him. "I'm not worried. Don't you concern yourself over me..." his gaze fell on the mascot on the sinner's shirt, "... Uncle Pennybags."

"Uncle what?" Apparently suspecting he'd somehow been duped, Monopoly Man's voice thickened with anger. "Hey, cuntcubus, I'm trying to do you a favor. I'm not about to pay for—"

The sudden slackening of Mr. Monopoly's interest was like a heavy curtain falling on Alastor's mind again, dousing the lights and smothering the air. Alastor wheeled around, grabbed both of Monopoly Man's shoulders, and leaned down into his face. "I do not want," he hissed, "your money."

Pennybags stared up at Alastor in alarm; and then, narrowing his eyes, he said, "Oh yeah? You want this?" Without warning, he slid his hand down Alastor's loose waistband, groping at the shaft that hadn't been flaccid since the last time Alastor chopped it off.

Alastor's knees buckled so dramatically that his height dropped to eye-level with the sinner. He let out a quiet gasp like the sound of a decommissioned radio station turning off for the last time. Alastor didn't remember dying, didn't remember how it had felt. Didn't remember the face of the man who'd shot him. He lost those memories when he lost his humanity. But the look in this sinner's eyes—hungry, lecherous, roving over Alastor's face and throat as if deciding where to bite first—surely that had to be similar to how his killer had looked at him. Surely dying had to feel like this: exhilarating.

"Oh, you like that, bitch?"

Alastor didn't know if he liked it. Certainly it wasn't a very good handjob; he'd had dozens of better ones, not even counting the thousands he'd given himself. But God—it teased at him, taunting him with the possibility of satisfying the craving that had been torturing him for almost half a year. Was that the same as "liking" it? Do you like water when you're thirsty?

He wasn't sober enough to care about the distinction. Instead of answering the question, he growled, "We don't need to go all the way back to your place, do we?"

A filthy leer stretched across the sinner's snout. Alastor felt his member throb in the sinner's grip.

###

They were in a cramped alleyway near the bar. Alastor's back was against a brick wall so rough that its friction on his sweatshirt was enough to keep him from sliding down to the filthy pavement even though Pennybags had Alastor's hooves lifted into the air. The narrow gap between two buildings reeked of years of alcoholic urine and overflowing dumpsters festering in Hell's heat. On the opposite wall, Alastor stared blankly at a mishmash of illegible graffiti, the only bit of which he could discern was two words stacked on top of each other reading "DAWG PISS". If someone bottled the alley's fragrance as a cologne, that was what it would be called.

He could hardly keep track of his surroundings.

There was an electrified shaft of pure gold shoved up his anus.

It sent fluttering sparks dancing through his stomach and bolts of lightning jolting up his spine. He swore it felt so good he almost passed out. All of it felt so good. The oily fingers peeling away his clothing and pawing at his hips and ass and thighs and kthumbing at his nipples. The hot, stinking breath panting on his bare skin and wheezing in his face. The lips and tongue lapping at his neck and shoulders and transferring the taste of Alastor's own unwashed sweat to his lips. The eyes roving across his naked flesh, invisible and yet blazing hot, like the Martian Heat-Ray that turns men into flame.

And then the violating instrument itself, humping up into Alastor's shithole, sweaty hairy balls slapping against Alastor's sweaty hairy ass—and it felt divine. It felt like God Himself descending from heaven to tell Alastor He personally forgave him for ripping the divinity out of his eternal soul, and then puckering up His Lips to plant a sweet, loving kiss right on the ring of Alastor's anal sphincter.

He could feel himself wailing in pleasure; he could hear snips of music playing, chaotic, discordant, only a couple of seconds at a time before switching to another song. He twisted his ankles together behind the sinner's ass and clawed at the back of his stupid Monopoly t-shirt, trying to pull him closer, pull him deeper. He wanted to suck in every last drop of his savior's ambrosial attention. He wanted to devour the sinner's hunger for him.

When Pennybags grunted in pain and muttered "Keep your claws to yourself, bitch," it was like a heavy had passed in front of the sun. The electricity shooting up from the shaft buried in him stopped, leaving him with the nauseating feeling that all he really had was a lump of spongy living meat stuck up his ass.

"Sorry," Alastor said, voice a breathless whisper, hardly discernible from white noise; he let go of Mr. Monopoly, flattening his hands on the brick wall.

"Better," Monopoly grunted, still disgruntled—but approving. The clouds parted. The sunshine returned. Alastor's backbone lit up like the neon signs on Lust's casino strip.

Alastor came so hard he slammed his head back against the brick wall.

His claws dug into the brick wall so hard that a couple snapped. His vision momentarily went black. When his sight cleared up enough for DAWG PISS to swim back into view, the sinner was still hammering his ass like an oil derrick digging for crude.

He came again.

"Shut up," the sinner hissed, clamping a hand over Alastor's mouth to try to silence his screams. "You noisy prick. Do you want the whole fuckin' street to hear us?"

He did, he did, he did. He moaned openly against the sinner's hand, feeling his cheeks grow damp as his tears were caught by the sinner's fingers.

"Oh, you like it that much?" the sinner panted. "Huh? Do you?"

Alastor could feel his nuts tightening again. The sinner was turned on because Alastor was turned on by him. Alastor knew this like a fact despite never being told: the same way he first recognized the smell of fear in someone's sweat; the same way he sometimes instantly knew his shot was fatal when he dropped a deer or man; the same way in Paris during the Great War he'd always known exactly which direction and how far the Eiffel Tower was even though he'd never touched a radio before and didn't even know yet that the Eiffel was a functional radio tower. He knew it like an instinct he didn't know he had. The sinner was turned on by the fact that Alastor into this. He was turned on by Alastor.

He tightened his thighs around the sinner's waist and answered his question with a frantic nod.

The sinner grunted and slammed hard into Alastor's ass.

Alastor saw stars. He'd never dreamed it could feel so good.

He wasn't sure if he came twice more or if was just one long orgasm. When it was over, he was leaning against the wall by himself, his buttocks pressed to the rough brick with a stranger's seed stuck between his ass cheeks, hands on knees, legs trembling, breath heaving, mind reeling. What happened? Why was it different?

It wasn't a great fuck. He'd had great fucks. He'd had the best fucks a desperate succubus with a lot of spare money could buy. But great fucks hadn't satisfied Alastor. This slob hadn't bothered to touch Alastor's dick once they were outside and if he'd ever hit Alastor's prostate it had been a lucky accident. There was nothing special about his dick. There was certainly nothing special about the person that the dick was attached to. It could have been anybody, Alastor was sure of that, and it wouldn't have made a difference.

So why did it make a difference?

"You oughta shave your ass," Pennybags said, buttoning his shorts. "Or get a bikini wax, shit. Nobody wants to fuck your hairy dingleberries."

He was finished? He was leaving? Already? That hadn't even been five minutes. Alastor was picking up stations that hadn't even completed a commercial break during the time they spent screwing.

"That's not all, is it?" Alastor had tasted something close to satisfaction for the first time since his rebirth. He wasn't ready to give it up. He wasn't satisfied yet.

"What?" Pennybags gave him an irritated look. "You expect me to kiss you goodbye? Fuck." He looked down to see why his shorts weren't zipping (he'd gotten his shirt caught in the zipper teeth), and muttered, "I thought you were drunker." He turned away from Alastor to trudge back toward the street.

"Oh, I want a lot more than a kiss!" Alastor seized Mr. Monopoly's arm, yanked him back, and swung him hard against the alley wall. Half his studio audience groaned "oooh," like an audience watching a boxer get laid flat; the other half squealed with laughter like they'd just watched a Stooge mangle one of his two brothers.

The sinner gasped and coughed, trying to get back the breath Alastor had knocked out of him. "Wh—what—?"

Before he recovered enough to push himself up, Alastor shoved him back against the wall, one hand on each of the sinner's forearms to pin him in place, his knees jammed between the sinner's; gravity tilted sharply, pulling them both toward the wall as though it were the ground, with Alastor on top. At the feeling of the world rotating ninety degrees beneath him, the sinner spasmed like he was waking up from a dream of falling ; Alastor was close enough to him that the lank, greasy hair that had been draped on his shoulders now hung in the sinner's face.

"I said," Alastor repeated, "I want more than a kiss." His hands left the sinner's wrists, creeping up to seize his face roughly, in a parody of a tender hold, one of his broken claws running along his muzzle; but the shadow of his hands remained on the sinner's wrists, still pinning him in place. His shadow's chin jutted over Alastor's shoulder, tongue lolling out to drip smoky drool and lick hungrily at the sweat on Alastor's neck, panting silently.

Alastor went on, "After all, you were so eager to show me a good time—whether or not I wanted one. It's only polite to return the favor!" His audience's uncanny canned laughter echoed between the tight brick walls.

"Fuck," the sinner wheezed. "You're the—the—the Radio—" His stuttering attempt to name Alastor was drowned out by a louder, wicked laugh from the studio audience.

"Just figured it out?" he cooed, fumbling with the button of the sinner's pants. "I would have thought the fact that I play radio stations would have been a bigger clue." His shadow humped eagerly at Alastor's own ass, the semi-corporeal dick using the sinner's seed as lubricant. Alastor arched his back, groaning, pressing his ass against the shadow and his chest against the sinner.

"I thought—fuckin'—you had a phone in your pocket and we were bumping the skip button—?"

Alastor laughed darkly. "How creative." He leaned back to squint drunkenly at the sinner's shorts, trying to figure out why the fly wasn't unzipping. (The sinner's shirt was still caught in the zipper teeth.) With a sigh, he yanked the shorts down to the sinner's calves.

The sinner used the opportunity to try to clamp his knees together.

"Careful, sweetie," Alastor chided. "Don't want you getting hurt." A couple more enthralled shades slunk out of the shadows, each seizing the sinner's knees and pulling them wide apart. Alastor grabbed his own cock to stroke it back to full hardness—noting in delight that for a moment it had only been half erect. "You don't have anything to worry about." Relying on his own seed to act as a lubricant, grinning triumphantly at the sinner's terrified face—oh, how he'd missed terrifying people!—he rubbed the head beneath the sinner's balls and then rutted experimentally between his ass cheeks.

Something was wrong. It felt like nothing.

No, it was so much worse than nothing: it simply felt like the absence of whatever had been right. That uncurtaining of his mind, the sunlight, the electricity, the taste of divinity. And in the absence of what felt right, everything awful about sex that had been buried bubbled back up. The nausea, the exposure, the vulnerability; his skin crawling so hard it felt like it would squirm off of him and wriggle into the dumpster like a skin-shaped blanket of maggots; the hyperawareness of the proximity of his taint to a stranger's taint, like the way food poisoning cuts your awareness of the world down to a single, interminable, inescapable second of agony.

Food poisoning. That phrase stuck in his mind. Food poisoning. He jerked his hips back.

Maybe he had to keep bottoming? He grabbed the sinner's flaccid cock. Trying to keep a grip on it felt like trying to scoop a slurry of melted flesh out of the acid bath that had melted it. Alastor jerked his hand back, stumbling backward into proper gravity in his haste to get away from the sinner.

Now that Alastor wasn't actively attempting to satiate his needs, his shadow—possessed of the same frenzied appetite but too stupid to know what wouldn't satisfy it—tried to twist around Alastor and reach for the sinner itself.

Alastor seized the shadow roughly and dragging it away from its target, hissing, "Stop it." There was no point. He knew from experience that trying to power through his revulsion wouldn't make any sparks fly. This felt no different from his every other attempt to drag a sinner into some dark alley and take whatever it was he needed. It was gone.

Recognizing the momentary escape route, the sinner tried to push off the wall and, when that didn't fix gravity, scrambled on hands and knees down the wall toward the ground. When he escaped the radius of Alastor's magic back into normal gravity, he slipped off the wall and fell shoulder-first to the ground with a yelp, then scrambled back upright to run.

Alastor allowed his worthless prey to flee, watching despairingly as the sinner stumbled over his own shorts and disappeared around the corner into the street. God, he'd been so close to satisfaction, he knew it, he'd been so close. What had been different?

His shadow despondently pawed at Alastor's groin. Alastor wrenched its hands off, snarling at its empty face until he'd wrestled it back into laying against the wall and passively mimicking Alastor's movements. And then he slumped against the wall as well, too despondent himself to even bother pulling his sweatpants back up.

What had been different? What had been happening when Alastor came (God, the best orgasms of Alastor's life)? What had he been thinking about?

He'd been thinking—he'd realized that Pennybags was turned on by the fact that Alastor was turned on by him. It was a laughable thought—Alastor was struggling to figure out what he had been turned on by, but it sure as hell wasn't that grotesque underdressed fool.

But just remembering his realization made his member twitch again.

Chase it. The sinner was more turned on when Alastor was "attracted" to him. He'd been attracted to Alastor—(Alastor's hand slid down to stroke himself off)—and that meant... that meant... what?

And then, it had all fallen apart when Alastor had looked in his eyes and saw—no longer attraction—fear.

Alastor was turned on when the sinner was attracted to him.

Everything, everything he'd fucked and been fucked by so far—hands and toys and shadows and tentacles and whores and victims—was at best indifferent to him, at worst terrified. Nothing he'd touched so far had wanted him—until now.

His head swam, dizzy with alcohol and arousal. Another thin rope of seed spurted from his tip at just the thought of that: wanted, wanted, wanted him. Wanted him. Watching Alastor hungrily, gaze and hands roving over his body, like he was the only meal that could satiate the stranger's strange appetite, desiring his body like a starving beast desires a piece of hot, juicy, fresh, fleshy meat—

Alastor came hard again, crumpling to his knees, crying out—and this time there was nobody to muffle his cries. He screamed louder, voice echoing and raw with distortion, thighs spread and hips pumping into his fist, imagining windows overhead opening and heads poking out and passers-by peering in from the street and focusing on him like a pack of wolves circling an injured deer, and he keened louder, as if calling the predators in to feast on him, and he understood then the instincts of the cat yowling in heat.

And then the orgasm faded. He was alone; nobody had seen him. Thank God. He dropped to sit on the filthy ground and slumped against the wall, too exhausted to care about what rubbish he was planting his ass on, moaning as he tried to catch his breath.

He was satisfied.

It felt like a fever had broken. His mind was clear. His cock was going soft in his grip. He was soft. He'd almost forgotten what it felt like. He marveled admiringly at how much smaller his member was when it was off-duty; had he seen it like that since he'd become a succubus? It was over. He was done. He was free. He let out a hysterical, wheezing, relieved laugh.

Something stirring low in his stomach told him it wouldn't last long.

And next time, he wouldn't be satisfied by imagining being watched.

#((I am BEGGING you to give me a like or a reblog or a comment or something if you read this))#((the fics are important to me!! I want to know that folks are reading them!!))#nebula gaster #ask #ooc #art

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