#then i havent embarrassed myself by saying too much LOL

[yourmoonmomma]

Definitely want to hear about last night 😏🙃

HEHE OKAY I PROMISE IT IS NOT EXCITING ENOUGH TO WARRANT THE SMIRK EMOJI i just like to force you guys to hear about my boring life <333

So I texted Mik when I got home from work, to ask what she was doing. She said she was going to hang out with her friend Daniel (maybe? i might have his name wrong) from Twitter, but that she would LOVE it if I came, so she would ask him. She asked, he said that was fine. So I went to pick her up, we got booze, and went to his place. We get there, he has this adorable big ol pitty with a black collar with spikes, named Loki. A big suck, wanted to cuddle the whole time, thought it was a lap dog despite its size. BUT Loki is afraid of backpacks </3 so he bit Mik on the ass when she took her backpack off, and bit my hand when I grabbed her bag LOL

Okay sorry, quick break from my story to share that Jayson is currently listening to Christmas music?? Very loudly?? Anywho...

So we all have a drink (well I had a drink bc I was driving, while they had a few) and did some other shtuff. I was super uncomfortable though because while I'm sure Daniel is nice, he was very loud & just would not let Mik or I talk at all, and when we did, it's because he was texting on his phone, not listening. I texted Mik to tell her I wanted to leave, so she said we had to go to the queer bistro in town to meet a friend, and that we "might" come back. We leave for the bistro, meet up with Charlie, who was performing, BUT this guy from Fetlife, Michaelo?? I think? Idk, was there performing as well. He came over to chat with us after, which I hated as well, because it was like... almost 11pm and I was sober and TIRED. And also his convo topics were weird. He asked if I did anything for Mother's Day, which I scoffed at and said "no way" and he was like "oh why not?" and I was like ????? and then, when I just stared, flabbergasted, he said "Do you not have a good relationship with your mom?" Like BRO you can't ask a stranger that !

The bistro closes at 11pm on Wednesdays, so we left shortly after, and she picked up shtuff from Adam to bring back to Daniel's place, as she decided she did want to go back - though I was just gonna drop her off & head home. But the whole drive back to his place, he was texting Mik practically BEGGING for me to come back too because he thought I was hot & fun & cool & wanted to have a threesome with us. Which I did not share the same sentiment about him, at least, not sober. And that type of talk makes Mik insecure, which I definitely don't want her feeling!! So anyway I did not go back, but she did, and I think she had fun.

We both agreed though, that her & I, would have no problem hooking up. And we had a good chat about Martina. And cemented our plans for the concert next Friday! ANYWAY idk it was both amazing and shitty LOL! I'm glad I went out, and I can't wait to see her this weekend <3

#anon #abt me #mikayla #daniel #michaelo #charlie #adam #my fave way to tell stories #is to give you guys the barebones #if you wanna know more #u have to figure out the right questions to ask <3 #and if not #then i havent embarrassed myself by saying too much LOL

[sigmabateman]

thank you so much @velvetcrowbar444 for tagging me to talk about 5 things im obsessed with at the moment!!

this got longer than i anticipated so im putting it under the cut, but for simplicity's sake i'll tag people up here: @nights-decay, @boycentriccplot, @flaming-tsunami, @sourgelatin no pressure though of course!

persona 5... ok i have to be honest ive been really reluctant to talk about this on here and its why ive been quiet the past at least week or so. no idea why. i guess cause its so different from the stuff i usually post about that i feel like, embarrassed? but i started playing persona 5 royal around may and really liked it but i didnt have the time to properly get into it until now and it has completely taken over my life entirely without me even realising. to be honest i could obsess over like a rock on the ground if i saw it at the right time in my life but hands down persona 5 is one the best if not the best game ive ever played in my life. the story is engaging, the characters are distinctive and realistic and i really really care about all of them, the gameplay is so much fun and combat is buttery fucking smooth like nothing ive ever played before, the music is top tier and what got me interested in the game in the first place, and the ART DIRECTION. it speaks for itself to be honest ESPECIALLY compared to the older games. i was shocked starting persona 4 because of how different it is to persona 5 like, persona 5 has SUCH a distinct visual identity as well as tone, themes, imagery etc it is all just so stunning and perfect and i want to live in it. but i think about it so often like literally 24/7 that i may as well be. i <3 persona 5 and i <3 YUSUKE KITAGAWA. he's definitely my favourite character and he came out of NOWHERE but hes actually everything in the world to me. one of the characters ever.

persona 4 is it a copout to say that? i did try and condense both games into one bullet point but 1. they're such a mainstay in my life right now i was struggling to think of more points and 2. it kind of lost its precision and didn't effectively convey just how personapilled i am right now. i originally wasn't gonna play 4, all i knew is that it was more difficult and less good so i thought i should stay away. but if you go anywhere persona-related on the internet (which i would warn against, the fandom is a fucking cesspit the likes of which i havent seen in a long time as an obscure-shit-enjoyer) you'll quickly run into adachi. and as a lover of men with high-pitched voices and sexypedia entries... i couldn't stay away. before even starting the game i had made a d6 and d20 with different adachis on each face so really it was just a matter of time. and you know what... it's not that bad. the graphics were a SHOCKING step down but i find the low(er) poly style really charming. the adachi model is too cute T_T whenever i see it in the game world i just wanna sit with it for ages. i wonder if i could get it like 3d printed so i could keep him on my desk with me at all times... its bad for me ! the combat is fucking clunky espeically compared to 5 and i kind of hate it but that just makes it more rewarding when i can finally stop LOL. some of the characters (especially the main few (yosuke, chie, yukiko)) took a bit to grow on me but its kind of sweet.. its like authentic.. our relationship is growing as i get to know them better... but dojima and nanako ive loved since i first set eyes on them. too cute. it makes me feel so fatherless. its like.. a lot more magnetic than i expected it to be. i love it even with all its flaws. i saw a meme about it being like twin peaks and thats kind of so real. and you know i love a murder mystery... so yeah tldr i like persona now. but its hard to talk about it on here because it is such a big fandom but not like an active one like spiderman or like good omens or whatever slightly more normal people are watching so its kind of intimidating. maybe ill get over myself, maybe ill go silent for 3 months until i get into something new. we'll see i guess LOL

my gender identity TUMBLR MOMENT I KNOW but i dont know.. ive had a lot of time to myself recently and its kind of brought things to the surface that i just didnt have time or space to think about before. turns out there was a LOT OF STUFF i was repressing without even knowing. like that tweet 'im probably nonbinary but i have a job so idrc about that rn'. i posted on instagram "gender around cis people: boy, gender around trans people: girlboy, gender by myself: computer program" and that kind of sums it up i think. can i coin like.. complicatedgender. where your answer to the question "whats your gender?" is "it's complicated..." cause thats me. its just COMPLICATED okay!!!! but my pronouns havent changed or anything so its chilllllll

going to bed at a reasonable time. i phrased that like a joke answer but its true. i downloaded pokemon sleep and now i go to bed at 11:30pm cause at 11 i get a notification saying my pokemon are sleepy and shit i gotta take care of my pokemon!! i dont even know if its doing me any good to be honest like i dont feel much better when i wake up but making myself get into bed and shut my eyes means more thinking time and to be honest my favourite activity is thinking. even if as silly as it sounds i never give myself time to do it. its playing a weirdly big role in my life rn so yeah id say im obsessed with it!!!

this asmr video. im secretly always posting about asmr so really i could just say that, but like, ASMR | The Mortician (No Talking – You're Dead) specifically is such a mainstay i can feel its influence seeping into my life like an infection. this video would actually show up in my recommended for YEARS but i never watched it. gave me a major ick for some reason. but then i got into this guys stuff and saw it again and thought id give it a go and now its like an extra limb. fuck my 3rd bullet point, this is my gender identity. i could not articulate in words what it is about the mortician that i love so much, but i really really do. i am certifiably obsessed. cant believe i made it through this whole thing without mentioning alex. but there you are. yay this was fun :D

#tag game

[bebx]

hi im so sorry but i need to get this off my chest and i cant talk to my friends about it because its so embarrassing and ive talked about it PLENTY

but anyway long story short i was dating someone, we have a weird history dating wise & have been best friends for 3+ years before that all started. literally three weeks ago we decided to be exclusive, on friday i found out that the day before, he kissed another girl IN PUBLIC. i know that girl, they've hooked up before (when i was also hooking up with him but it wasn't anything really and i didn't actually know for sure if they were hooking up (they were)). so we called it quits.

i still spent the weekend bc i'm weak and all i want is him. he said he never felt a connection like this with anyone, he said he loved me and he said he was sorry a hundred times..... he said it would take a long time before he'd feel 'normal' about me. we were both emotional when i left, and since then i havent really stopped crying lol

AND NOW. i dont know if im just driving myself crazy but i feel like he's (still) (again?) talking to that one girl and it would make sense because he basically cheated on me not even a week ago so why wouldnt he do this now??? but. it feels too cruel. but maybe thats just who he is.

god i hate this so much he drives me completely mad im stalking his every move and every time i see something that even slightly hints at my suspicions i get so ill and it makes me wanna kms. i just wanna feel normal i hate that he did this to me i miss him so bad. i know we literally shouldn't ever get back together again because this is just a fraction of the shit thats happened in the past 10 months, BUT I ONLY WANT HIM. and i feel like we're soulmates. BYEEEEE this is so humiliating. im so tired i just want it to end

hugging you so tight right now, anon!!! 🩷🩷🩷 so sorry you have to go through something like this. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, because each person experiences this type of pain differently, but I do know it just super sucks when the person who hurts us and the person we want to hate turns out to be the one we love the most. sometimes our hearts can be stubborn just like that (it all would’ve been so easy if we could convince ourselves to stop caring and to being able to fully hate them and moving on, but it’s never that easy, sadly). I can’t tell you what to do or how to react to the pain you feel, but know that your pain is valid and how you feel / how you react / how you cope with that pain, that’s valid too. and you are not weak for being hurt when someone wronged you, especially when it’s someone you trusted. I know this is cliche and is so much easier said than done, but please also be kind to yourself, above anything else. that boy and the girl he cheated on you with, they don’t deserve you. they lost you, not the other way around. think of this as an opportunity for you to open yourself to someone else who truly loves and values you, whether it be romantically or platonically. I know right now you just want him, but if the wrong person can make you love him this bad, imagine how much happier you’ll be when you finally find the right one who can make you love them the same way you loved him, if not more, the only difference is that they won’t break your heart. and you deserve to be happy. that someone is out there, and I truly believe you both will find each other when the time is right. but for now, try loving and being gentle to yourself even if it’s hard (I know it can be hard, but at least give it a try), the best revenge is to prove to them that you don’t need them to be happy and that you can heal from this and thrive without them in your life. doesn’t matter how long it takes, but you will get there one day, and you will look back and be so damn proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. because hey, look at you, you are still here, and for that, I am so damn proud of you!!

it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be completely broken, because the thing about crying and being broken is that it’s not permanent, even if it feels like it right now.

and by the way, the ones who should feel humiliated are him and that girl, not you. screw it if they deserve each other. YOU deserve so much better than that anyway.

#my inbox is open

[dufrau]

every so often i remember that one scene from bigfoot 1.5 and giggle because its just a perfect comic relief moment because its so fucking funny. like lets unpack this:

1: just the fact that robin and nancy left very conspicuously in the middle of the pool party to very obviously go fuck

1.5: and they were loud enough that el now knows what happy screams are rip

2: max being such a gremlin teenager about it and saying "that's hot" like ok i also saw you staring at steve, miss mayfield. i love her

3: mike wanting to drown himself in embarrassment lol. like imagine if your sister just did that and you could Hear lmaooooo

4: everyone except for mike being nonchalant about it like you go girls!!! get that gay sex!!!

anyways thank you for this funny bit to help readers like me not die due to angst. like i still did actually but this was cpr

Also it was a pool party in their honor, it was sort of a little graduation/leaving for college party for them. I didn't give a lot of thought to decorations but its even funnier if we imagine there was a "Congratulations Nancy and Robin!" banner hanging somewhere.

1.5. Their entire (short) relationship to this point has been fucking in the woods or in motels where nobody knows them or in Robin's house when her parents were away in Canada experiencing Cirque du Soleil, they have never had to be quiet before. Totally unprepared for this moment tbh. Good for them good for them etc.

2. Max is right it was hot. Also Max has been repeatedly almost killed, half her body is in casts and she's blind. She doesn't give a fuck. She is just saying what's on her mind from here on out.

3. Legitimately poor Mike. And it went on for like a while too. Steve trying to sneakily raise the volume on the radio bit by bit to drown them out but its just a little boom box it only goes so loud you know? Sometimes it goes quiet for a few minutes and Mike is like "Oh thank god" but then they're just right back at it and he is back in the pool wishing he was dead. Nightmarish. I am so sorry Michael.

4. These kids have seen too much to be homophobic. Plus they're all about to be sophomores in high school which was how old Nancy was in season one, they are hormonal little monsters if anything they are probably just jealous. Besides Mike who is mortified. And Steve who's like "You missed the cake! I baked it myself and drew you guys on it in frosting! I was so proud of that cake. Max smashed Mike's face in it though that was funny I guess."

Thank you for reminding me of this scene lol I love it so much. <3<3<3

(also if you havent read this fic here it is)

#the pool party anon #ronance #bigfoot 1.5 #asks #i am still sick but this was lovely to wake up to

[dongfangxunfeng]

hi xin!! im not sure what youre up to in succession but what do you think so far? like do you have any characters or themes or anything thats really intriguing to you/that you think has been explored really well etc? i think theres sooooo much there but i get a bit too 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 to really articulate it well BUT i love hearing what other people are thinking abt it. mwah hope youve been well too 💜

HI VAL <333333 I LOVE SUCCESSY!!!! so im on the s2 finale (havent watched it yet but thats the today plan) and i have many. vibe related feelings not super coherent but yeah :)

first off its just soooo embarry that i understand wtf theyre about all the time <- businessmajorisms 😭 its genuinely so embarrassing when theyre saying shit like 'we need a poison pill white knight defence' and i know exactly what theyre referring to

my real 1st thought is that u def need to like. care about what they're parodying bc otherwise (1) to me its not as interesting if not, bc otherwise ur just glazing thru a lot of important context - probably why among other reasons i couldnt get into it the first time around when i watched like 2 eps (2) just based on brief observations it can make you a lil weirdinsane abt the characters when you treat them like. a regular guy from your shows (hence shit like tomgreg 😭😭😭)

the familial abuse dynamics. insane btw. logan @ his family vs logan what he presents to the world/people he wants things from vs logan what he presents to his employees..........and then you can see connor&willa and go ah yes . different flavour of abuse . insanity

UNRELATED BUT. tom & greg's voices are kind of in my head now i had an argument w myself this morning but in their voices and then i was like oops ive been watching too much

speaking of watching too much so /i/ am also a businessguy(ish. its complicated) who is . at this point running a newspaper (ish. we havent rlly started but ive been doing so much interviewing i am actually writing this in a break btwn them) so im like. omg what if im commiting mediacorporate crime and its like no. youve just been watching succession

ANYWAY CHARACTERS. shiv fascinates me. like yes her family esp logan doesnt really respect her opinions but also she is sooooo slimy. smth abt how ur sympathies for her get played with incessantly < shiv enjoyer

i hate tom sm but i cant hate hate him....actually i think that describes most of the characters. lol

the way theres so much dead air in this show is like. gweoifjiewjfoiwjefiw the awkwardness of it all. really adds to it

I WILL BE BACK I NEED TO FINISH MY INTERVIEWSSTAYTUNED

#asks #HIIIIIIIII<3 THIS WAS SUCH A FUN ASK

[sw1mmy]

2022 thoughts

With 2022 coming to a close soon, ive been doing a lot of reflecting on the year. I would say overall its been a year with some pretty high highs for me, with some pretty mediocre stuff thrown in to balance things out. I just kind of wanted to get my thoughts down, I dont really expect anyone to care all that much about this post but it's my blog and ill do as i please lmao.

I turned 30 at the beginning of the year, which honestly didnt bother me so much. What did, though, was the amount of people I knew. Ive always been extremely shy and awkward (in my opinion) but I really wanted to start this new chapter of my life trying to meet new people. I'd definitely say I met this goal, ive met a lot of amazing people this year, it's honestly kind of overwhelming. I feel like I can either be way too withdrawn or too overbearing in conversation, so i just want people to know how grateful I am they choose to associate with me.

This is especially true when it comes to DJing. I had been into it during 2020 and did little private streams for like 3 people max, but giving it a go on twitch really panned out well for me and i honestly love doing it. Im happy people seem to be into what im bringing and im eternally grateful to Mina and Jami for DJing with me. The Normal for Girls streams are absolutely the highlight of my year if im being honest. I've never had so many eyes on anything ive ever done and while it was kind of scary, it also felt amazing to be involved with something so many people seemed to have a blast with. im looking forward to doing even more in 2023.

As for other art stuff, I cant help but feel a little disappointed. I really wanted to do more actual music production, but its been a struggle for me to get any ideas im actually satisfied with down. I posted a few things on my soundcloud this year that i honestly felt embarrassed by after a while and took down; id really love to play more music for fun and have that lead into producing come next year. Drawing is also something I havent felt too happy with. I know people have told me otherwise but I feel completely inconsistent stylistically and mechanically im not where i want to be. I would really love to push myself to get into painting more next year; its something ive messed around with a little bit in the past but id like to give it a more honest shot while improving my knowledge of anatomy, perspective and things like that (i am happy that people do like my art when I post stuff of course, I just want to give people something better to look at that im more satisfied with lmao)

There's a LOT more I could talk about lol, like how me and Tristyn got a nice new apartment this year, how I went down to virginia, got to play arcade games i had been dying to play as well as meeting Chi, stuff like that. But I feel like ive rambled enough lmao. if youre down here thanks for reading all that and i hope we both have a great 2023.

#please forgive me for talking about myself

[angst-in-space]

hello! for the fic game, may i ask about "and when i lose myself i think of you"? :v (also those lyrics really made me nostalgic i havent heard that song in AGES lol)

ahaha omg, truthfully i'm a little embarrassed someone recognized those lyrics i'm like "oh no, now everyone will know i had a huge tokio hotel phase" 🤣 but let's be real that song is a banger lol

anyway—that's my matchablossom bedsharing fic!!! i've been working on that for uh...a very long time.....started it when sk8 was still airing and yet i still have not finished it LMAO but i have been working on it a bit lately!

a bit of a snippet just cuz 👀

Kojiro releases a heavy sigh. “You heard what I said.” He looks at Kaoru then and there’s far more serious, far more soft to his eyes than there should be. It makes a shudder travel through Kaoru’s bruised ribs and startles the air from his lungs. “You don’t need to apologize, Kaoru. I mean... you were hurt really badly. I’m just doing whatever I can to help, alright?” A hint of uncertainty seeps into his tone towards the end. It reminds Kaoru of the way Kojiro was as a child—far before he developed such a self-assured attitude, before he studied abroad in Italy, before he returned to Okinawa with an ever-present crooked grin and bulky muscles. A ghost of his childhood self has always lurked under the surface—the sensitive boy who cried over a dead bird they found on the playground at recess once, the boy Kaoru often had to defend from bullies when they were little. He hasn’t seen this side of Kojiro in a while now, and its sudden presence only wages an even more violent war on his heart.  He takes a breath to answer, but no words come out when he opens his mouth. The corners of his eyes sting and he looks away, desperate to hide it. He is not going to cry in front of Kojiro when he’s already humiliated himself enough. “Kaoru,” Kojiro says softly. He shifts a bit in his seat, pauses, then reaches out to rest a hand on Kaoru’s forearm. His touch is so light that Kaoru almost doesn’t feel it at first. Startled, he looks down at Kojiro’s hand, then up at his face, and... oh. This is far too much like that moment seven years ago, when Kaoru first realized his feelings, when they were sitting in Kojiro’s car outside the hospital. Just like then, Kaoru feels as if he’s teetering on the edge of something dangerous. He could so easily pitch forward and take the risk he’s so desperate to take—but there’s nearly two decades of friendship on the line, and the very thought of losing that is more terrifying to him than anything else. Besides, he’s already lost his chance. Kojiro pulls his hand away and rubs the back of his neck as he examines the dashboard. “What I’m trying to say is, I... I’m here for you. So, don’t feel bad.”

wip title ask game

#brigidanswers #wip title game #fic wip #fanfic #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #matchablossom

[irregulardiaryposts]

20:40 07/03/2024

okay wow well its been well over two years since i updated this 'diary' blog lol

so weird seeing all those old posts about being a teenager with existential thoughts lol i dont really think like that anymore, at least not so much. i guess an update is in order then lmao okay so im in my 3rd year of uni now and im doing my year abroad! doing it in a small city in spain and i really quite like my job, ive only got 14hrs, i have a 3 day weekend, the city is small so i can walk everywhere and this job really gives me a sense of purpose that ive been missing in my life. makes me really realise that university is NOT for me lmfao i was so depressed during my second year i probs went to like 20% of my classes loool. im pretty sure i mightve almost failed aswell but since the professors were doing a marking boycott they released grades without marking the final exam and so since i was already doing well enough in all my classes i passed! quite lucky i think cos i wouldve been so entirely embarrassed and ashamed if i had to repeat a year cos of mental health. i think things are better here tho my issues havent disappeard completely like eg i have these evening classes 6-7.40pm tuesdays and thursdays and for the past like month i havent attended :/ at first it was cos i was sick (i think it was covid lol either from glasgow or on the plane back idk) and then i just didnt go back to class. i think my main excuse is that that is dinner time for me and i dont wanna move dinner time lol. but also i think the class itself is just not for me i dont feel like i learn a whoooole lot while im there and learning on apps is easier for me? but i always felt better for going to the classes cos i was like ha! im not depressed would a depressed person do this!? but of course depression doesnt work like that and i think i need medicated ! but that seems too scary to say. but at least i found someone to do a language exchange with! ive only had one hour with her in spanish, which was yesterday, but i already feel like ive improved lmaooo like i literally dreamt last night in a mix of spanish and english ahahahah cos when i think about it i literally have not ever regularly spoken spanish, ive only really spoken for activies in class or speaking exams so no wonder i have 0000 confidence in my speaking abilities but im hopeful that this will really improve my speaking :) about my job i guess- i work in a high school and i really enjoy interacting with the kids they really do make every day different and more interesting so i am grateful for them but sometimes damnnn sometimes i wanna jump out the window especially with this third year class they are the class KNOWN for being a bitof a pain lol and sometimes i have to lead the class by myself lmaooo mid u ik im 20 but i dont look it and they certainly dont treat me like an adult or a teacher and ngl they are a bit disrespectful at times but also what are u gonna do they are 14 and i have no proper teaching experience to help them by myself i can only hope that im actuallt helping them learn english lol. it is quite difficult tho with my scottish accent to try and sound as clear as possible because i pronounce almost 100% of the vowel sounds differently than rp english which is what i think they are used to so i have to realllyyyy annunciate all my words and man is it tiring lol.

what else. im going to madrid this weekend with bestie and im really looking forward to having a relaxing and fun time but i still havent packed my bags looooooool i alwyas do this tho and its fine not a big deal at all but i def need to do it tonight cos im leaving tomorrow immediately after work so ill have to have an actual breakfast and take snacks with me. im really enjoying my time in spain or at least im trying to but i feel like i have pushed myself enough out my comfort zone to be able to look back on this and say yeah i really took advantage of that. like i think i need to be more personable (is that a word yes it is i used it right) in teaching and be more interactive with them and stuff also i feel like i shoulve arranged a language exchange sooner cos i think this will really help, and i need to interact more with the other assistant but the thing is is im just not a sociable personnnnnnn aghgh. any way cutting this short cos i need to pack my bags for my trupppppp

#not using the tagging system i did on other posts i dont think theyre ever likely to be useful lmao

[smileymoth]

Self harm tw

Im not gona do anything rn bc im going home tomorrow and the ones i made last week havent even healed properly but i swear to god one day im going to slice up my wrists just to experience what it looks and feels like because its always been a fucked up fantasy of mine because ive been mentally ill since i was 10 and even without the internet i wouldve lost it some other way. Sometimes i think about going too deep and having to get stitcjes. But if it happened it would be on accident. I woildnt do it on purpose bc im a coward.

I remember in 5th grade we were on a school trip and i lost my mind bc of prohably overstimulation lbr and i started to badly grate away at my wrist witj a plastic knife and that was so cringe i remember feeling cringe immediately since i calmed down and its so embarrassing that i have these thoughts in the first place since youre not supposed to. The next morning i woke up and my dad noticed ky scratched arm and he made a joke about it. It didnt feel too good. Ive never cut too much. I remember in 6tj grade i would cut a small piece of skin off my wrist with scissors and i stkll have a scar from it and it would burn dry to air exposure and id be kinda disturbed bc there was a hole in my skin (go figure) but its so small now. All my sh scars have mostly faded. Ive never done too much because im scared to do too much and go too deep but by god i want to. But i dont want the scars. I dont want my mom to see. I dont want people to see. I just want the feeling it gives. Even if you dont do too much rhe pressure release or adrenaline calmdown after feels so nice and uoi feel so good for like 5 minhtes before you regret what you did. Like its not even a big problem to me lbr i just do a couple to get away iwth saying my cat attacked me and thats why theyre always crooked or i "scratched myself against a screw at school lol" idk if my mom ever really believed me in the first place. Its always awkward when she asks bc i pretend i didnt notjce i have them. And while i dont do it a lot and often ive never cut myself more tjan in the past 2 years. Did my dads death trigger this. I dont know. And i feel like its getting worse slowly. And im just letting it happen because i stopped caring i guess. I dont know. I guess thats why i starved myself in high school bc it was "invisible" and not noticable l. I dont know. I feel so patjetic that i even think about it so often that i do. Like im 22 i should be getting a job and a partner not thinking of which spot on my wrist is most optimal to draw blood with a fucking dirty ass boxcutter that i sprayed a-sept on so if my mom notices it would be least suspicious.

God i cant keep up i cant keep up with life at all im not built for this life it feels like. Im so overwhelmed all the time and i feel disgusting and patjetic and annoying. I dont really care about the things i should i just pretend i care mostly. Thats an autism trait right. Lack of empathy. I feel empathy but sometimes it feels tjat im empathetic just because its right to ne, not tjat i actuallt care. Youd be surprised how little things i acrually care about. Im a little internet attentionwhore who cant kill herself nc her mom and besties would be sad. Im not fucking special for any of this im just pathetic and burnt out and dead on the inside. Im never going to get better am i. Im never going to be what i want to be. Whats the fucking point right. Whats the point of complaining if im not even going to do anything. i wont cut myself open like i want to because its useless and dangerous and doesnt fix anything anyway and i cant kill myself either so ill just complain om tumblr instead and describe in detail how ive cut myself before bc thats entertaining. I feel like im writing a deviantart vent journal

#moth post #tw self harm #tw suicide #im fucking spiraling rn dont mjnd me

[pesterloglog]

Jake English, Roxy Lalonde

Act 6, page 5805-5814

GT: Roxy?

GT: Rox! What is she saying?

GT: Talk to me roxy!!!

GT: Please dont leave me hanging here.

GT: I cant take it i cant bear having two of my closest chums hate me and then having you shut me out on top of that!

TG: ok sheesh jake calm ur microshorts

TG: im here

GT: Ah there you are.

GT: Im sorry for being a pest but i just see jane there pecking away at conversations with you and dirk and it feels like youre all kind of leaving me behind.

TG: no jake nobodys doin that

GT: Ok yeah im probably being paranoid...

GT: But ive done such a bangup job of alienating my other friends.

GT: So youre the only one i can talk to for now.

GT: Wait i havent alienated you yet have i?

TG: nah dont worry we are still humanated

GT: Are you really sure roxy? Are you sure youre not just trying to spare my feelings?

GT: You can be honest with me! If you hate me now too please just say so.

TG: SWEET GUY FIERIS FAT LAUGHING GHOST JAKE

TG: no i dont hate you i promise youre still my bro god dammit!

GT: Ok. Phew!

GT: Then talk to me!

TG: um

TG: about what

GT: I dont know. Anything! What are you talking about with jane?

TG: my drinkin problems

GT: I see.

GT: Would you like to talk about them with me? Maybe i could help!

TG: damn jake

TG: like

TG: that is cool and appreciated in theory?

TG: but this is some kinda heavy shit 4 me

TG: i rly dunno if i can do double duty on my alcoholism with you and jane simultaneously

GT: Oh. Yeah thats probably not the best way to go.

TG: yes prolly not

GT: Sooo then. What else is there we can chew the old fat about?

GT: Really bond over together in an emotionally fulfilling manner?

TG: dag you are an extra silly guy

GT: Well??

TG: dunno j why dont u tell me what youre thinkin an we go from there

GT: Alright.

GT: So. That sure was a doozy of a kiss you gave dirk there huh?

TG: LOL fuck

TG: yeaaaahhh

GT: How was it?

TG: it was

TG: uuuummmmm

GT: Go on!

TG: it was fuckin INAPPROPRIATE!!!!!

TG: and yet

TG: and yet.........

TG: omg it was so choice

TG: but wrong!

TG: wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong

GT: I dont know. It seemed innocent enough to me.

GT: What was so wrong about it?

TG: a whole host of things...

TG: not sure in how much detail i wanna spell out why exactly it wasnt cool

TG: but like

TG: jake ur a pretty simple guy and i mean that as <3ways as possible

TG: it just wasnt right

GT: No disagreement there. But like i said im here to talk about whatever you feel like.

TG: ok see this is just another embarrassing thing from my past

TG: when i was more out of control

TG: with dirk i was just

TG: waaay too aggressive

TG: i hassled him all the time

TG: pretty much every day just like he said

TG: about

TG: me and him

TG: like

TG: GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!

TG: U KNO LAST MALE & FEMALE ON EARTH OOH HES A HUNK! IS DREAMZ COME TRU TIME 4 REPOPULATE!!!

TG: yeah

TG: so not cool lookin back on it

TG: and i had no excuse i always knew he was just

TG: SUCH a gay dude

TG: and i guess maybe hitting on a guy who dont like girls once or twice maybe is alright or even flattering but after so long it was probably just pissing him off or messing with his head or something

TG: it def wasnt what he wanted to hear from a friend

TG: let alone day in and day out through garbled drunktexts

TG: so when i fuckin harassed him into kissin me...

TG: it just brought back some low rent shit i thought we put behind us

TG: just another way i completely humiliated myself in front of him

GT: So is that why you cant talk to him now?

TG: mmmmmmmm hmmmmmmm

GT: I certainly have no trouble relating to that.

TG: yep

TG: i dont even know why really

TG: hes like taciturn to the max about everything

TG: but theres somethin about him

TG: that just makes it hurt to feel like you let him down

GT: You really love him dont you?

TG: siiigh

TG: yeah jake i guess

TG: the answer is

TG: a categorical unapologetic fucking 'yeah'

TG: but

TG: i dont think that was much a secret

TG: and the fact that it was so LOUDLY not a secret exemplified my stupidity on the matter

GT: Its fair to say i never came close to feeling as strongly about him as you.

GT: I envy you actually. Ive actually worried at times that i just wasnt capable of feeling that way about anyone.

GT: And maybe thats why i was just meant to be alone.

TG: ehh you aint missin much

TG: love is a brutal shitninja w/ turds 4 nunchucks

TG: be grateful that stank ass motherfuckers flippin out nowhere near you

GT: I noticed you nearly slipped that wedding ring on his finger!

TG: oh GOD

TG: that ring

GT: You almost scooped my boyfriend out from under me in one fell proposal.

TG: oh DID i

TG: from under u eh? ;)

GT: Wait. No i mean...

TG: ;););););) wonks 4 eternity

GT: WHOA NOW WAIT A MINUTE!

TG: easy dude just messin

GT: Oh.

GT: Ha ha ok.

TG: man

TG: that ring tho

TG: what happened to it do you remember?

GT: Not really.

TG: god damn it

TG: must of lost it when i was a FUCKING trickster

TG: sflkjfslkfj

TG: *shakes fist @ all trxstrs*

GT: Did you need it for something?

TG: need it?

TG: not really

TG: i just really liked that ring

TG: kinda spoke to me in a way

TG: hehe

TG: want to know something lame?

GT: Yes.

TG: the moment i first saw that ring

TG: i was like in my head

TG: thinkin

TG: some day i want to give that ring to the person i marry

TG: whoever that is

GT: Daw.

GT: Thats not lame thats nice.

TG: nah its pretty lame but w/e

TG: shows what sorta one track mind i got

TG: god i am obsessed with findin somebody to kiss arent i

TG: it is rly quite pathetic

TG: although the funny thing is the ring turns you invisible

TG: which might be my subconscious telling me something about my lovelife

TG: like i find a guy of my dreams

TG: slip it on his finger

TG: and POOF he disappears!

TG: bye bye hubby

TG: o well dont matter

TG: the ring is gone

TG: and with it so too

TG: are my lame, lame dreams ;(

#homestuck #jake english #roxy lalonde #homestuck act 6 #page 5805 #page 5806 #page 5807 #page 5808 #page 5809 #page 5810 #page 5811 #page 5812 #page 5813 #page 5814 #homestuck act 6 act 5 #homestuck act 6 act 5 act 1 x2

[spade-club]

Okay okay so my person is home now after staying over and I feel like talking in weird detail so I'm going to do that on here if thats cool. This one is going to be more of a mixed bag of INTENSELY personal things than the usual cutesy stuff I usually say about them on my other blog bc I'm feeling lots of things today.

Warning for mentions of sex in both a positive and negative connotation also brief but notable death mention

First of all, theres such a strange feeling about allowing myself to be seen as a girl especially in a sexual sense. I'm not used to it and its weirdly comforting? Considering how much I fought against it for a long while there. I mean, I have mixed feelings about it and I wish there was a solution that let me be trans in just the right way for me to be treated more like I'm trans(/nonbinary/whatever) than anything else. Idk if that makes sense, theres just a balance for me I want to find but I think its good that I'm allowing things to go this way now, I'm experimenting with myself and it doesnt feel scary at all. (Well a little embarrassing but I think thats normal) it's just an adjustment to being on the other side of so many things that I've done to others but have never experienced myself. The mlw -> wlm experience sure is something.

They did ask me if I wanted to have sex and I said no because I was worried my trauma would get in the way and what we were doing was already kinda a lot for me. And I will say the way they just said okay, asked if I wanted to keep doing what we were doing and when I wasnt super enthusiastic about that (I said that we could, and I did want to, I just felt a tad awkward and I think they noticed that) they just stopped and we cuddled. I do wish that more could have happened, honestly, especially because we dont see eachother often and I dont know when anything will happen again. But I'm also very content with what has happened because I think I've been in need of a healthy sexual interaction for a long time now and I just havent really been able to catch a break lol (my ex was mostly fine but theres a lot of shit she did that made me so dysphoric and anxious in a way that lingered for a bit too long on my self worth. Not her fault though, just kid things I guess)

I am worried though that I have done something wrong or havent done something I should have and I dont know if they enjoyed it at all. Its hard to tell because they're a bit more of a closed book and I feel awkward asking like "hey, you know the absolutely nothing I did for you while you were doing things for me? Yeah was that like, okay? Did you have fun anyway? What was going through your mind? And also do you hate me? Are you ever planning on speaking to me again or did I already show you I'm too much of a challenge and do you want to move on from me completely and forever? Also sorry I almost killed you that one time, also that other time...... I would understand if you want me dead now... do you?" Like, how the fuck do you ask someone any of that??? Idk!!

I also think its notable that I have not done anything sexual with another person in almost three years now. I've only ever been with one person before yesterday. I've only ever KISSED one person before yesterday. So all of this is like, first and second times doing things and its. aAA!! I dont know what im doing at all and I'm so awkward and way too afraid to tell them this but maybe I should so they know where I'm coming from aaaa idk!!!

#sad posting #not really but I want this to be easily hide-able #I'm embarrassed posting this but I really want to just. share #usually this would be a private post but fuck it. I'm a new person and I talk about shit now!!!

[dumbbitchfrommars]

who knew i how much i appreciated a chill night in. i am absolutely knackered though last night was fun. i need to learn to handle my liquor, or just not drink at all. its fucking up my skin and mental health and honestly i feel so concerned while i work that ill end up like those addicts. anyway, tomorrow i will eat extra to makeup up for lost time yesterday and today. 

so.... i have feelings for my friend. he is sweet and charming and so so kind, and i know he likes me too, he literally has since the day we met. its been, what? two years since we met? that’s crazy. i havent been ready for the longest time. ive known i liked him for ages as well. i kissed him on my birthday. i feel like things happen between us whenever theres some alcohol in our systems. but at the same time, its like it reveals the truth. i have less fear to act on my feelings. the stolen glances and smiles to each other, the way he’d come to me just from a look. like a magnet pulled us together constantly. i wasn’t interested in anyone but him... maybe one girl but its different with her, more flirtacious and no strings attached. 

anyway, towards the end of the night i ended up next to him in his bed. i get so nervous with him. but i feel like a little girl. like, just the biggest most wholesome schoolgirl crush. i invited him to dinner and he agreed. so theres my olive branch after two years of mixed messages. my mum likes him, i like him, he has great friends, i like him on an intellectual and physical level. which is crazy, cause for the longest time i didnt want to like him on a physical level. 

i think this whole experience, of having these feelings but trying to push them down on account for my physical preference, has taught me alot. its not fair to body shame someone. i have struggled with feeling inadequate for my body when i have no control over it. imagine if id just been accepted as a girl, i wouldve been able to enjoy my stumbling deer days when i was supposed to be lanky and skinny and awkward. so, i want to accept him as he is, and maybe that could help me grow in my own way too. 

there’s no denying i feel a little weird about it, but its just so different with him, compared to scorpion, cause i genuinely am attracted to him. hes flirty and assertive and interesting and a darling. i dont want to be afraid of having feelings for someone again. i want to be open and ready. i am ready. ive been seeing 888 999 and 555. change and transcendence. perhaps a transformational relationship. or romantic friendship? i dont want to put any expectations to it. i just want to enjoy the connection we have. 

anyway, i mainly wanted to come on here and gush about a certain moment last night. i can barely even remember what happened, or the context of the situation. i just know, he stroked my hair, and it made me feel like i was on fire. my stomach was going crazy and i looked straight into his eyes and ugh it was just magical and so seductive lol. i cant believe im even saying this! and then i instantly told him dont you do that, and smiled in that knowing way. how embarrassing!!!!! but also how sexy!!!!! he definitely wouldve known what i was thinking, and how i was feeling. 

i am the worst at hiding my feelings. i wish i could be mysterious and sexy but the reality is im an open book and i am a professional at embarrassing myself. hopefully he doesnt remember. but also... hopefully he does. i like that he has that power/effect over me. i dont think ive felt genuine attraction like this to someone in the longest time. scorpion and my summer fling both made me cringe, they were hopeless and truly gave me the ick. i still dont understand how i managed to convince myself i had feelings for them. 

but, this man is a libra, and hes wonderful, and i have feelings for him. i want to be better for him. i want to be there for him. i want him to be happy and to feel cared for... i dont know. i am so glad i got the courage to ask him to dinner. because i honestly have been wanting to for weeks now, but i didnt know how to ask. thank you God for bringing these opportunities into my lap! thank You for the protection you give me and the love i am surrounded by!!! xxxxxxoxoxo

[sunarintoes]

Haikyuu Aces - Boyfriend Headcanons

Includes: Aran Ojiro, Iwaizumi Hajime, Bokuto Koutarou

*sorry gang, havent had time to capitalise everything yet! ill do that when i get home :)

✗ okokokok 

✗ aran my beloved <3

✗ he is so sweet and cute oml i actually love him 

✗ hmmmmm Aran seems like the typa dude to kinda love pda? Like definitely not all that icky make out in the middle of the grocery store type beat 🤢but more like the kinda ‘i like holding your hand because i love being close to you’

✗ yeahhhh he’s kinda sappy and you can tease him all you like and tell him it's cringey but he’ll just chuckle it off cause he knows you love it → i mean if you didn't hr would have noticed or you would have said something. COMMUNICATION IS IMPORTANT PEOPLE! Like in everything and all relationships but like Kita, Aran values communication highly as well and he is capable of it.

✗ oml he loves holding hands with you especially during winter, idk i headcanon that he has warm hands?? So if you have cold hands (like me 😎chilblains gang wya 😎) then hand holding is ✨perfect✨ because he keeps you warm <33 

✗ oh also he definitely gives the best hugs on the Inarizaki team! Osamu is a close second but Aran reigns supreme. I don't take criticism. 

✗ is he jealous or is he not jealous. Idk he’s a hard person to pinpoint with this. I think it would depend on the weather, nah jk jk but it  would depend on many factors like how he’s feeling, who the person is, etc etc. Tsum-Tsum is a bitch (my bitch <3) and WILL actively try to make him jealous. He's just built like that. Oh and Osamu too, yeah he looks like a good boy (and he is <3) but we all know he has a cheeky streak in him ← why else would they be twins? So sometimes he gets involved in Tsum’s antics and boy, boy does Aran hate them. He thinks they’re the bitchiest fuckers ever and will have to restrain himself from slapping those whooligans across the face (and honestly who wouldn't? I could name 76 people who would, starting from myself). BUT aran will never do it because he's very lovely, most he’ll do is send a mean look and shout at them, maybe argue a little. He doesn't like to play into the games so he tries his best to remain casual but if you ever look a tad bit uncomfortable with them then he will not hesitate to jump in and pull you out of the situation. 

✗ dates. Dates. A date with aran. Very cute. Cliche cafe dates, taking you to training or a game, wearing his jacket, walks in the park. Yeah, he’s got that autumn vibe about him y'know? Dates are very sweet and wholesome. 

✗ oh and did i mention that he’s affectionate? Mans loves to hug and cuddle. He's so sweet honestly. 

✗ okokokokokok i have done a bokuto bf headcanons before but that was for a plus sized reader → which can be found here. However this time is just going to be in general :) 

✗ HE IS SO JEALOUS! Loud and proud baby. He is so not secretive when he’s jealous, he pouts to you and whines and then shouts and glares at the perp.

✗ if you give any other member on his team more attention than him or cheer louder for them he will be sad :( when you’re watching matches please cheer the loudest for him! And do it a lot! (between you and me, Akaashi has begged you to cheer for him because it motivates him to do his best)

✗ he is an affectionate and cuddly boy. He is not scared of pda, at all. Will hug and cuddle you in public and maybe even kiss you, no shame. 

✗ if you're not into that then that's all good!! He respects your boundaries (he’s not the best at this but he is learning, give him time <3)

✗ when you’re alone you're tangled up in a mess of limbs. He loves being close to you and holding on to you. 

✗ GIVES THE BEST HUGS!!! 

✗ omg his hugs are so soft? Bokuto’s hugs are like a gigantic blanket of warmth that washes feelings of relief and content over you. He makes you feel safe; he makes it his duty to make you feel safe. 

✗ dates consist of movie binging, amusement parks, and watching volleyball ← his games or practices or watching an opponents or some other team. 

✗ really loves it if you're into volleyball ← take no offense when i say this but bokuto would never date someone who is not into volleyball. It's his sole passion to live and breathe and for someone he loves - his other half, to not share this love of volleyball even just a little bit, it would be heartbreaking for him. Volleyball really is life to him, and while it does not have to be life to you, for you to not care or be interested in something he invests so much time and passion and sweat, blood and tears into he would not feel like the relationship would be worth it. :(

✗ he holds your hand on dates and kinda drags you around a bit. It's cute though. He's such a dork. A big, cuddly, overly emotional dork and you love him <3

✗ how have I not done headcanons for him yet???? Iwa! My baby! My love!

✗ he is so sexy *tiktok fboy face* I would literally sell my kidney for him

✗ anyway anyway, Iwa comes at a price ← and that price is Oikawa.

✗ Oikawa, like Atsumu, is a piece of shit. Homie will try his goddamned hardest to make Iwa jealous, but it's just for funsies and because he loves to shit stir. Oiks doesn't actually mean any harm, it's just playful banter really (that may or may not result in him getting punted). Honestly you and Oikawa will become besties, two peas in a pod. You're both important people to Iwa and he wants you to be able to tolerate each other, even better if you are besties.

✗ oh oh oh! Omg!! Just imagine - you and Iwa pulling pranks on oikawa on April Fools. Imagine his shocked expression. I would die for that. Damn that'd be funny, you'd have to record it and show the whole team.

✗ oh and you know how he’s so strong? He will not hesitate to carry anything for you! It's like a form of affection for him, he loves helping out and doing his best.

✗ Dates are often intruded in on by Oiks which can be annoying, honestly it's just because Oikawa craves affection and attention. Please set him up with a friend. Get him off your back. OH DOUBLE DATES. Imagine if Oikawa actually settled down! (he wouldn't lol) but imagine, double dates at cute, niche cafes. So cute.

✗ Iwa loves quality time with you.

✗ Oh and yeah, Iwa is one jealous boi. He gets jealous which leads to crankiness and a bad temper that he uses to cover up for his insecurities. Please remind him that you love him and hold his hand and kiss his cheek and run a hand through his soft hair.

✗ In terms of affection i think he secretly craves it a lot but is embarrassed by it?? Like he would be very nervous and too shy to initiate too much of it at the beginning.

✗ He really loves giving you back hugging you though!

✗ Now now now, imaging how sexy street racer!iwaizumi as your boyfriend would be. How cool would it be if someone wrote about that - oh wait! I have :D you can find it here ;)

#haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu fluff #Bokuto koutaro x reader #haikyuu #iwaizumi x reader #Iwaizumi Hajime #iwaizumi hajime x reader #Aran #Aran Ojiro #Aran Ojiro x reader #Bokuto x reader #bokuto fluff #Iwaizumi fluff #Aran fluff #Aran Ojiro fluff #inarizaki x reader #inarizaki fluff

[mojwisungie]

imgn | run towards love

req (from: anon)  ➥ :  101 dalmatians typa au where jeno's pet drags him outside bc he saw the reader who he knew would be a great match for jeno walking by with her pet who his pet thought would be a great match for him and things happen and jeno and the reader meet and they and their pets live happily ever after pls and thank you ❤

☄︎ summary: jeno almost looses his dog when it went to get him the person he never knew he needed ☄︎ pairing: lee jeno x reader ft. jeno’s dog jiho and reader’s dog eunji ☄︎ lou.note: uhhhhh kind of messy but i believe life is messy when youre a dog owner bc i myself have gotten into messy situations because of my dog lol enjoy reading! 

jiho loves his owner jeno

he has lots of reasons and on the top of the list is that jeno loves him as much as he does

they often go on walks and spend some time on cafes

honestly, jiho is living his best life™

but sometimes, he cant help but feel ??? sad ??? for jeno

he knows jeno is happy with him, but he also knows he could be happier

so jiho thinks of a brilliant plan !

find the perfect person for jeno and make them fall in love

absolutely great idea right? fool-proof !

and for the past few weeks, he and jiho are going on cafe dates again 

yeah cafe date. you read that right- they go on cute dog cafe dates where they both just chill and enjoy the toys jeno havent bought for jiho yet

ANYWAY during these dates

jiho has found the one for jeno- 

and its y/n (っ˘ω˘ς )

ask jiho, why...?

WELL ITS BECAUSE YOU’RE PERFECT

jiho has never seen someone so pretty

who owns a cute dog too!! that jiho may like as well

and who’s very very very nice she pets all of the dogs in the cafe (>_< ♡)

how did jiho find you??? huh you see:

youve been in the cafe every single day they went there too

being so, you bet jiho has tried getting jeno to come to you

keyword: tried

jeno is always distracted by something and its so frustrating for jiho to get his attention

he has tried looking at you then looking back at jeno but that didnt work bc jeno just said “are you this excited be here again?”

he has also attempted by going to where you were- which just resulted you petting jiho along with your dog eunji until you had to leave ALL THE WHILE jeno was chatting with an old man who decided to try the cafe for the first time

at this point jiho is running out of ideas

especially when he knows next week will be jeno’s last days of resting before his schedules

he might never see you and eunji again (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

AND WHAT DOES HE SEE ??? ARE YOU LEAVING EARLIER TODAY?????????

jiho is panicking . he knows its you for jeno but youre leaving and what will happen to his self-proclaimed parents if you dont !! talk !! today !!

so he comes up with a mission for himself: run towards you the moment you step out of the door so his owner has no choice but to follow

the second you exit the cafe with eunji’s leash in your hand, he bolted. literally just went for you

leaving jeno in a state of shock then sprints in his attempt to catch his dog

on another note, you stop on your tracks when you see the familiar dog from the cafe who is owned by a really cute guy wiggle its tail in front of you

seeing him prompted you to crouch down and look at his tag

when you called him by his name, oh boy he looked so happy

you picked jiho up to go back to the cafe and return him

but the moment you turned around you bumped into a chest

its that cute boy !! UHHHH you mean its the dog’s owner !!

jeno was a rambling mess when he came up to you saying sorry for bumping into you and how he didnt expect his dog to run after you because he’s disciplined and he definitely isn’t an irresponsible owner too

tbh you thought he wouldnt stop on his shaky speech so you softly laugh and tell him its okay

jeno . felt himself have an error

your laugh sounded so angelic and the way you look is so beautiful ???

you’re so mesmerizing

AND HE SAID THAT OUT LOUD AKSFJAKFJ

you’re like “oh 😳”

he’s so embarrassed he’s practically a human tomato with all the blushing

he stutters on what to say ??? so you were both standing by the sidewalk for a few until he gains most of his composure back and asks

“Can I ask you out for lunch sometime? As a form of thanks for picking up Jiho?”

to which you replied with, “Well as long as I get to see your mesmerizing face and your cute dog too, then sure :)”

bonus:

the two of you decided to go on a picnic date for that

...which led to many more dates

that included jiho and eunji often!

seeing jeno happier than never before also brought happiness to jiho

a few years into the future, it’s not a surprise for him and eunji be included in jeno’s proposal for you

and when that day came, he knew it was never a mistake for him to run after you

because even if he kinda got an earful when they came home

the smile on his owner’s face on the day you said yes made him forget all the scolding

#nct #nct dream #nct dream jeno #lee jeno #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #jeno imagines #nct reactions #nct dream reactions #jeno reactions #nct scenarios #nct dream scenarios #jeno scenarios #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #jeno fluff #nct x reader #nct dream x reader #jeno x reader

[kingdom-of-kins]

Oh my god I’m so embarrassed! Create! I could’ve sworn I wrote create. Ah well. Was pretty funny I guess XD

I wanted to kinda ask how things have been going. You do a bunch of amazing things and I’d honestly like to hear you go off on some tangents as well. You certainly let me ramble a lot. And just, in general too. Like how are you enjoying season 9 so far? 🐉

vhshvjsvhs it happens to the best of us! nd thats really sweet man :]

ive actually been rlly busy irl what with one of my friend groups splintering a bit, exams coming up (im actually answering this while doing a make-up project lol), plus ive recently been working on setting up a bunch of mental health stuff.

i wont lie and say im not also a rambler but i usually try to cut myself off in asks like this otherwise i’d end up with run on sentences the size of paragraphs! other then irl iffy work stuff tho, ive been working on doing a lot of anatomy and fashion studies :D!! one of my fav de-stressors: stuff that pisses me off /j

i havent actually watched the start of s9 yet!! ive been waiting cause idk what pov im gonna watch first. i usually stick with etho but i might watch impulse first this time around..

this is unrelated to your questions but ive been meaning to ramble abt this somewhere; ive actually been thinking about making a side-side blog to this blog just for casual chatting and personal interactions instead of being mostly requests and reblogs? im not super sure, ofc, cause that would be an added thing on top of my already pretty tall project list, but i think it could be fun. plus i’d get to do a bunch more non-mcyt stuff, cause on this blog i feel ive dug myself into a bit of a niche

hope youre doing well tho iskall!! (btw if you ever want to use another name here just lmk!) howre you enjoying s9 yourself? ive heard its off to a pretty fun start :]! have you started watching/reading any other series? ive heard that 100 hours hardcore is pretty good, havent had the time to watch it myself tho.

jeez ik you said you wanted to hear tangents but i kind of rambled a lot here. hope you dont mind too much :]

#☆always happy to help! | asks #☆🐉 | iskall #☆chatting with the stars | responses #^gonna use that tag for my conversations now prolly!! #which wasnt the intended use but hey its my blog i can do what i like

[magniloquent-raven]

Fic Writer Questions

i was tagged by @cherry-toxic and @gideongrace ty both 💕🥰💕

How many works do you have on AO3?

15

which is a relatively small number but sometimes im still like, holy shit i finished 15 whole fics lmao

What's your total AO3 word count?

68,299 (time to post a 701 word fic and then never post again i guess)

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

well this is about to get mildly embarrassing lmfao. ive only got harry potter & stranger things fics on my ao3 and tumblr but if you want a full list, as a teenager i posted a shitty borderlands self-insert fic on quizilla, and hiccup/jack frost fic on ff.net.

and if u count fics that never got finished or published anywhere i dabbled in teen wolf, supernatural, dragon age, star wars, left 4 dead 2, skyrim, good omens, the mcu, buffy, wynonna earp, plus like, general disney/dreamworks crossover fic. and i started writing shameless fics recently, we'll see if i actually finish any. aaaand...i think that's it?

so...15?

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Wait for you, Burn for You

2. Find Our Way

3. Something to Hold

4. Room for One More Troubled Soul

5. Don't Know What I'm Gonna Do (About This Feeling Inside)

all harringrove fics except #4, which is probably only on the list because it's been on ao3 the longest lol

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

oh god, i used to. i did when i was starting out, but then i just. i get self-conscious about what to actually say & leave shit to sit for too long. and suddenly ive got like 100 comments i havent replied to and i want to respond to them so bad but ive left them so long i feel weird about it now and it's a problem 😥

i want to start responding to them again, and every time i get a new one i tell myself im gonna but i never do cuz im fuckin awkward lmao

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

i......don't really do angsty endings. like, most of my fics end with smooches and/or love confessions lmao, i don't like leaving things off sad, even if it starts depressing as hell.

maybe this one? it still ends soft but without resolving the thing billy was angsting about, so.

Do you write crossovers? If so what's the craziest one you've ever written?

hahahhha.............i don't really do them anymore, but i already said i was into the whole animation movie crossover thing, so. yeah, i did lol. it was when i was in high school so of course i did one that was like, every disney character ever and they're going to school together. which really isn't that crazy a concept, but it was a lot of movies to write in so maybe that counts

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

nahh, not rly. i don't get around enough to attract anti attention lol, tho i did get one of those "👎" comments when someone was going around doing that, which lbr, is so low effort it barely counts 😂

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

yea sometimes. i do get the occasional horny idea lmao. mostly "what if touch-starved character + tenderness" or someone having lots of feelings while they're fucking. someone is usually billy lbr. i've also got a couple "what if someone got tied up and treated right" ideas but i don't think i've actually published any of those lmao

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

don't think so?

Have you ever had a fic translated?

i have not

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yea, kinda! a collab with a friend of mine for fun

What's your all time favourite ship?

i...don't know? i get emotionally invested in characters more than the relationships themselves lol. i don't even know what ship i've been invested in for a long time, most of the shit i shipped as a kid i don't give a fuck about anymore lol.

except fuffy, actually. i've always shipped buffy/faith

and if we wanna go with fandom i've actively stuck with the longest it'd be harringrove. cuz ive been here and writing shit for yall for over a year now when i usually would've cycled thru a couple fixations by now lol

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

that's a mean question lmao how dare you. i honestly don't know, i have a lot of wips and i want to finish all of them. i know i won't but there isn't one specifically that seems less likely than the others so idk

What are your writing strengths?

uhhhhh.....i mean i've been told that my characterization is good? like, ppl being able to picture the actual characters when they're reading n stuff, so that's nice. and i could write introspection forever, u don't even know man, i get in the zone. i love getting in a character's head and picking apart their emotional state

What are your writing weaknesses?

writing dialogue really trips me up because i get picky about word choice lmao. i can be writing uninterrupted for twenty minutes cuz it's all a character's inner monologue but the second they gotta speak out loud im sittin there like ok what words sound natural and how much would they be willing to say etc. etc. suddenly it's an hour later and i've written three lines of dialogue. plus i tend to edit as i go so i'm always stopping and going back and rewriting stuff instead of just finishing the damn story

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

no thoughts head empty

lmao for real tho idk? i mean there's that one trope, when someone says nice stuff in a language the other person doesn't speak because they're pining and not sure if they're allowed to say it outright, that shit's cute. im sure all the google translated dialogue has been annoyin as shit for native speakers lmfao but yeah

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

probably harry potter but i literally have no idea. i started writing fic in my early teens and that time of my life is a big fuckin blur lmao

What's your favourite fic you've written?

ngl i think my fav fic is one of the multi-chapter wips i haven't published lmao

BUT. if i gotta pick something yall have read, this one. just a lil guy. plant dad billy and domesticity. it's cute and i like it. maybe also this fic that i wrote for valentine's day. i wrote basically the whole thing in one day and i was really proud of myself lmao, and i just really like headcanoning backstory for billy & that fic is rly just about him growing up, so

tagging @rvspberryjvm @wingedbears @paperbodiesamongthestars @platypan

if yall wanna! 💕