#their gender is the thing they have to manipulate and overcome in order to get what they wantm

[rhaenyradelights]

it’s so funny because i actually think there is almost as much to discuss re: gender with daemon as there is nyra it’s just not as rewarding unless you’re committed to them as a fucked up unit because his conception of his own gender is tied to hers 

#like. daemon as his mother daemon as visenya daemon as the second son daemon as the heir #daemon as not a masculine figure but as a Lethal one #the only way he can operate is through violence and Power which in westeros is a uniquely masculine position #so if he is to be a sword he HAS to be a man #but really he thinks of himself (and nyra) as dragons #who shift gender and ascend it #which is part of why nyra feels comfortable with him #they are not man and woman #but aegon and visenyra #a three headed dragon #their gender is the thing they have to manipulate and overcome in order to get what they wantm

[chans-room]

Stolen Sunshine

Pairing: Bang Chan × Non-Gendered Reader

Length: 10k

Rating: Mature/21+ | This fic is dark. Please read the warnings and make an informed decision on if you are prepared to read this fic. I am not including these warnings lightly because they are heavily featured in this fic.

Warnings: explicit and non-explicit smut, yandere vampire chan, vampire typical age gap, stalking, obsessive behavior, vampire mind control, non-con/dub-con, murder, major and minor character death, gaslighting, using fear to control/manipulate, mental instability, manipulation, forced siring, knives, blood, blood sharing, Chan and the reader injure themselves and each other in order to feed, delusional behavior, hunting, trauma, violence, needles, someone being kept against their will… you all get the idea lol... if i missed anything please let me know!!

Important! this is now a one shot so if you read the first part, Thorn Bitten, please be aware there is more! The new part starts after the second red divider!

Again: please heed the warnings! They're there for a reason.

Chan has been so lonely for so long. He was turned into a vampire so long ago and he's never even entertained the idea of turning anyone or trying to seek out other vampires. He is certain he's going to live in unhappy solitude… until he sees you. He's overcome by the desire and the hunger for you. You’re so achingly human; he doesn’t want to kill you he just wants you. He spends the next few months trailing you, finding out about your habits and your likes and your desires. You’re a rose in the eternal graveyard of his life. 

He then quietly slips himself into your life — he goes from someone you happen to see around to someone who you’d consider a friend. You don’t question his horrific sleep schedule, or the fact that you generally only see him after dark; you’re just happy he’s in your life when you can see him. He tries not to be too overbearing, claiming you barely know each other and he’s sure you have other friends to see. He tells you he’s always been something of a loner, and being in a new city with his weird work schedule makes it hard to make friends. But you like him. He’s kind and funny and a little goofy, and he makes you laugh. You tell him that he can’t say he doesn’t have any friends because you’re his friend now.

But then he becomes more than a friend. The bar was crowded and one minute you were dancing with a stranger, and the next Chan was making you come apart on his fingers in the bathroom of the bar. He pulled you into his arms and when he kissed you, the world fell away. It was so easy to get drunk on him — the feeling of his arms around you, his hands wandering and groping and squeezing, the way he’d nibble on your lip. It was addicting.

It started a whirlwind romance; he’d basically taken up residence in your apartment after the first two weeks. You didn’t know it was possible to be romanced in the way Chan does. You came home to roses — the thorns always meticulously removed — and dinner, or a new outfit and shoes, or tickets to an event you’ve been discussing almost every night.

And he was incredible in bed.

Attentive, passionate, talented, and fully focused on your pleasure. He gave you head with a carnality you weren’t sure someone could possess, like he wants to eat you whole. He throws you into mindless bliss multiple times before he’s satisfied, but even then there’s always a hunger in his eyes, turning them almost black. It’s flattering really.

Things begin to unravel when you meet up for drinks with a few of your friends. They text you the next day about how… off Chan is. They talk about how he stands unnervingly still, almost like a statue, and that to everyone but you, he is cold and closed off. And they say he stares at you, as if you’re the center of the universe but also sort of like a predator hunting his prey. You have no reason to doubt your friends, but you can’t help but feel protective of Chan. They just don’t know him like you do. They don’t see the man who brings home dozens of roses for you every week, each thorn removed so the sharp stems never kiss your delicate skin. But you also trust your friends. 

And that night, you try to be more aware, more conscious of him. Instead of letting yourself drift into the abyss of passion and carnality that he brings you. He notices immediately that you aren’t giving into his charms the way you usually do; it puts him on edge. He can’t lose you. You’re the first tether to humanity he’s had in years. You’re his perfect rose, and now your friends are becoming nuisances. But they don’t know how good he is at pruning thorns now; he’s been doing it for months. And he can be much sharper than they could ever imagine.

So he asks you about it and makes sure to soothe your woes. Your friends must have just caught him in a weird moment. He isn't obsessed with you or anything, he just is really grateful that you're in his life. And his explanations make sense. You spend the rest of the night, and the weekend holed up in bed together after he runs out to get you some wine and dinner and a fresh bouquet of roses.

You text your friends the next week telling them to back off Chan. If they don't like him, that's fine, but that’s their problem and you’d appreciate it if they kept it to themselves unless it was something serious. They argue that it is but you won’t hear it.

Weeks go by, fully wrapped up in Chan. He finally brings you to his apartment, and a few days later suggests that you move in. Your lease is coming up so why not? Besides, your work cut back on your hours so you were about to be forced out anyway. With Chan’s constant reassurances that you wouldn’t be intruding, you agreed.

Once you move in things get more serious and you realize just how much of a recluse Chan is. He really is alone. No friends, no family, no one calls him and he works mostly for himself. And he hovers. You struggle to find it as flattering as it was before you moved in but now it just feels like you can’t get a minute alone. He’s always popping up around a corner, showing up unexpectedly at girls night, bringing more roses to your office.

It’s after your birthday, the last one you’d ever really experience, that everything goes from bad to worse. The day itself is lovely. You and your friends go out for dinner and you meet Chan at a bar for drinks. But the morning after, your friends send you pictures and you can’t help but agree; there’s something off about your boyfriend.

Neither you nor Chan are the focus of the picture, but he’s standing behind you, lurking over your shoulder, and he looks exactly like your friends described. He looks consumed… obsessed. And it settles on your skin in a cold sweat. It’s like something out of a horror movie. But the worst part is his eyes; they managed to catch the light in a funny way, the same way cats do. You can’t explain it but there’s a voice in the back of your head telling you to run. Far.

So you do; you pack up your things and your friends help you move out and they wait for you by the door while you break up with Chan. You try to be kind and explain how it was too much too soon and that you wanted to still be friends, but you needed space. And your heart broke when he cried and pleaded for you to stay with him. But his eventual acceptance gave you peace — he agreed he’d give you space but he promised you one thing: his love, eternally. You fought the fluttering in your heart as he said it, and left with your friends.

You didn’t see him for weeks after; but you felt like you’d always just missed him. The smell of his cologne hanging in the air, or the flash of a black beanie disappearing behind a corner, and the roses you saw everywhere. And they were everywhere. A random one on a wall you walked past home from work, a couple on the counter at your favorite coffee shop, a stray bud in the coat pocket of a stranger, a pair on the small table of the date you regret agreeing to. And all it makes you do is miss him more. Chan’s presence clings to you and you can’t help but feel like you made a mistake.

Especially now that your friends seem to be growing more and more distant. After your breakup, you saw them nearly every day. But now you’re lucky if you get a text in response. It feels like it’s been weeks since you’ve actually seen them. Their absence makes you miss him more. It gets hard to remember why you even broke up.

Then you see him. He’s standing in line at a coffee shop, twirling a rose between his fingers. He looks so lonely, so sad. You can't help but go up to him and ask how he’s been — and the way he looks at you makes you forget everything for a moment. He’s so… gentle, and kind, and you can’t help but melt when he tells you he’s been carrying around a rose every day just in case he runs into you. He asks you to get back together with him, and promises he’ll do anything you ask. He reminds you he promised you his eternal love.

But then you remember. Remember why you left. What made you run. And you apologize and slip out of the cafe, but not before he slips the rose between your fingers and you agree to see him again, maybe at the bar you went to for your birthday with your friends. He agrees and you leave. A thorn bites into your thumb as you walk out, making you drop it as the door closes behind you. And you miss the way his gaze shifts, the hunger in his eyes.

The next day, one of your friends is found dead in the park. Police said it was a random killing but it's weird that they were drained of blood. And you fall apart – none of your other friends answer your calls, and you have to brave your friend’s funeral alone. You don’t know why no one is answering until another one of your friends is found, and another after that, and so on until it’s just you. Only you left after a series of unbelievable accidents and suicides that don’t make any sense. It's nearly unbearable; you wish you had just one person with you, just one friend to help bear the weight of the grief. But everyone is gone. 

Until you meet Felix. He just shows up one day as you wander home alone and brings light back into your life – he’s kind and friendly and helps you mend your heart. It’s easy to fall in love with him and you do. Chan was all obsession and passion and carnality; sometimes just being around him made you feel drunk and out of control. But Felix made you feel alive, truly alive.

You can’t help but compare them; you know it’s unfair. But Chan’s broad shoulders that made you swoon and feel small never gave you the same comfort Felix’s slight frame brought you. Or how Chan’s eyes would go dark and hungry every time he saw you, but Felix’s eyes lit up and almost sparkled every time he caught your gaze.

You and Felix had been walking home from your 6-month celebration when you ran into Chan again. As soon as he came around the corner your heart was in your throat. You should have known not to take that way back to Felix’s place – it was too close to where Chan lived and you had forgotten. And it was too late, too dark, too secluded. You felt trapped, and you knew Felix couldn’t tell how off Chan seemed. You never talked about him, you didn’t see a reason to.

It happened so fast you would never have been able to give the police a proper statement. One second, Felix was making a comment about how Chan needed to leave the past in the past, and the next, he was on the ground. Neck bent at an unnatural angle, lifeless eyes boring into yours from the ground as blood dripped out of his mouth onto the cement. The sickening crack echoed in your head as you stared at him, gasping for air. Trying to think, hell even trying to breathe, felt too complicated. The light in your world had gone out again. You couldn’t do anything but stare at him and hyperventilate until eventually the world went black.

When you came to, everything felt muted. You couldn’t figure out where you were, or where you’d been. You could vaguely remember that something awful had happened, but even that was out of reach. And then you saw them — hundreds if not thousands of roses covering every inch of the floor around the bed, all varying shades of red. It looked like a sea of blood. And then you remembered. Felix.

It couldn’t be real. Felix couldn’t be gone. It was just a dream. You curl into the bed, and look around and your heart softens. He’s not gone. He’s there next to you; asleep in your bed. You know it's him from the freckles that are spread across his shoulders and the soft blond hair that’s curling at the nape of his neck. You sigh and reach out to him but you freeze when your fingers meet his skin. He’s usually so warm, like sunlight lives inside him and radiates out. But he’s ice cold. That’s when you realize he’s not snoring like he usually does. Actually… he’s not breathing at all.

You can’t get away fast enough. The faster you get away from it the easier it’ll be to convince yourself it's not real. You just need to get away from it. Because it’s not Felix, your Felix. The cold thing in the bed next to you was just a thing. You know there's something you’re missing, a piece you’ve missed. You can’t remember how you got there or where you are or who would do something so horrific to you. To Felix.

You all but throw yourself out of the bed, not caring about the roses being crushed under you. But the thorns bite into the tender flesh of your bare feet, tearing into the soles like fangs. You vaguely register the pain from your ankle shooting up your leg; you look down and see the swollen, bloody bruise, but you can't’ remember where it’s from. It’s all too much and you can’t fight the scream that tears out of you. 

And then he’s there. Chan with his dark eyes and looming, only now there’s no kindness in his gaze anymore — he looks down at you like you’re a pest he has to deal with. But then… he’s gone. It’s Felix, smiling wide and eyes crinkling at the corners as you fling yourself into his arms. He’s so warm and comforting. You barely even notice he doesn’t smell fruity and soft like he normally does.

He pulls you back into bed and into his arms, fussing over your wounds and scolding you for putting too much pressure on your injured ankle until he’s undressing you, desperate to make sure that there’s no other injuries scattered across your body. He’s more hurried and aggressive than normal, taking to nearly ripping your things off. But you can’t blame him. You need to feel him under your hands: real, alive… Still him.

You trace the lines of his face as he sinks into you, eyebrows furrowing. Something about his weight between your legs feels foreign. His presence is… broader than you remember. Felix is so slight, so thin. As fast as the feeling came, it disappeared, but you don’t dwell on it for long — you can’t with the tendrils of pleasure curling around you, threatening to drag you under. The whiplash of emotions makes you feel drunk, the world blurring and losing focus. Your head lolls to the side and for a second you think you see Felix’s unblinking eyes staring at you from the empty spot on the bed. Blood pooling under him. But you blink and it’s gone. You tear your eyes away and reach out to him, sighing when you feel his warm skin under your fingers.

You shake off what you’re sure was your lingering nightmare and refocus on him; the way his hands pin you to the mattress and skim over your skin like he’s trying to memorize you. You struggle to keep your eyes open as he pushes you further and further toward release. You haven’t felt this out of control since… You can’t remember. There was a time when this feeling was normal though, you remember that much. And the faint prickling of frustration brews in the back of your head but the sensation of Felix’s mouth sucking a bruise into your neck has all conscious thoughts falling away into nothingness.

You come undone with a scream, vision blurring, and you think you see a pair of black eyes hovering over you but when your vision clears, it’s Felix’s soft, dewy eyes staring back at you. An expression you’ve never seen on his face before. It reminds you of how someone else used to look at you. Who was it…? It doesn’t matter. Not when Felix is there, and he’s holding you so tight as he pulls you into a restful sleep.

You wake still wrapped in his arms, but you’re freezing. His arms feel like ice around you as you shiver and try to cuddle into him for warmth, but there’s something wrong. His body is too large, too muscular. His arm is tight around you like a vice, and when you look down at his skin you can’t see the constellation of freckles. Your heart is in your throat as you begin to thrash against his hold on you, but his deep voice rumbling behind you makes your heart calm. It’s him. You look again and you can see the marks splashed across his skin; you don't know how you didn’t see it before.

He helps you bandage your feet and ankle before carrying you to the kitchen and placing you on the counter. You blush and try to convince him to put some clothes on, or at least let you put some on, but he argues that there’s no one around to see so why does it matter? Plus, it’s dark out and your head is pounding; you feel like you haven’t eaten in days. You can’t remember the last time you ate, or had any water. 

Wait. You’d gotten ice cream. Felix had convinced you to go after you had dinner. He’d bought you a cup despite insisting you didn’t need it. You can’t remember finishing it though. Something had happened, and you’d dropped it. How long ago was that? What made you drop it?

You gasp and nearly drop the glass of water when you feel his shoulders wedging between your thighs and his mouth on you; the world shifts on its axis and you feel yourself slipping back into the depths. His fingers dig into your thighs as he pleasures you. Your vision swims and you watch the hair between your fingers turn black, and the features on his face blur until they resemble someone else entirely.

You kept trying to place him — the name was on the tip of your tongue and there was something about him that made you want to run. The blinding fear started to slither up your spine, but you were already drowning. The pleasure building was impossible to avoid and your tongue felt like lead in your mouth — you couldn’t do anything except moan and scream as the wave of bliss crashed over you. 

Black spots danced in your vision as you fought the panic attack and aftershocks of your orgasm. You tried to curl in on yourself, suddenly feeling too exposed by your nakedness. But his deep voice and strong hands caressing your calves settled your frayed nerves. His snickering laugh cut through you. He’d never done that before; he sounded so cruel — it made you feel small and silly. 

Once your vision cleared you saw it was him, your Felix, shaking his head at you as you shrunk in shame. His hair was the same dusty brown you remembered, his eyes the same deep brown, his skin still smooth and unblemished, and the dimples you loved so much.

You told him what you thought you saw, and admitted you couldn’t remember the last time you ate, or what day it was. He just cooed at you before saying he’d go out and get you something to eat. The thought of him leaving set you on edge; there was something not safe. Something that happened. What was it? You tried to protest, but he simply waved you off. You tried to argue but he grabbed you by the shoulders and stared into your eyes, telling you not to move or make a sound until he got back. 

With that he was walking away, leaving you there. You heard the door click shut and you tried to push yourself off the counter but your limbs wouldn’t cooperate. It was like your brain was disconnected from your body, unable to force yourself to do anything. And you were freezing again — the sharp, prickling sensation of goosebumps spreading across your body was the only thing that reminded you that you weren’t spontaneously paralyzed. Everything became overwhelming; the hard marble cutting into the backs of your thighs where they hung over the edge, your hips cramping from your poor posture, your elbows beginning to shake from bearing your weight.

You could feel the tear run down your face as you began to cry. But sound refused to come out of your throat. You try to scream but the most you can manage is a ragged gasp. Your lungs burn and you can barely see through the tears you can’t wipe away. 

And then he’s back, and you can move again, and you can’t stop wailing in his arms. You don’t know what happened but it’s like you couldn’t breathe when he was gone, and never want him to leave your side again. You can’t explain what happened; how do you tell him that you couldn’t move and couldn’t scream and could barely breathe while he was gone? 

But he soothes you and carries you back to bed, settles you against his chest and feeds you like a child as you hiccup and cry. He tells you that you must have had a panic attack while he was gone; it's the only explanation as to what happened. You’d never had one before, at least not like that. But you feel safe now, now that he’s back. His broad shoulders make you feel safe, protected in his embrace. He promises he won’t leave you like that anymore — that you never have to be scared and vulnerable when Channie is around. He’ll always keep you safe.

Your mind is swimming again as you let relief flood your nervous system. You had never felt so out of control, so disconnected from yourself. You were so grateful for him; Chan always took such good care of you. He’d always removed the thorns from your roses just to make sure you didn’t accidentally hurt yourself. No one had ever done that for you before. You drifted back into unconsciousness, smiling at the sight of the bouquet on your side table. 

The next few days followed a similar pattern – you slept most of the day, waking every so often delirious and confused and alone, unable to move and overwhelmed by panic until he reappeared and calmed you down. You had concluded it was some sort of sleep paralysis, and it was worse during the day. The light streaming through the slivers of space your curtains provided were disorienting. And when he would appear, he’d snuff the remaining light and curl around you until the sun fully set beyond the horizon.

Nights became when you thrived. You felt human again shrouded in darkness — he was always by your side when you woke, curly chestnut hair falling into his dark eyes. He makes you cum until your vision blurs and then drags you up and out of bed, dressing you and pulling you out of your apartment. He supports your weight as you walk to the corner store, your ankle is healing but it needs more time. You and him collect all the items you need to make dinner before your hands begin to shake and your chest gets tight. The ice cream in the freezer reminds you of something, something bad.

He tucks you into his embrace and kisses your forehead, explaining to the kind, elderly shop attendant that you developed severe agoraphobia. He said it was due to an incident on the way home from your anniversary a few weeks ago. You try to remember what it was, but an image of a man with blond hair and freckles flashes through your mind and you nearly scream. He had done something to you, and you don’t want to remember anymore. But his name stabs through your consciousness; Felix. The name feels like acid in your brain, sending searing pain and memories of blood and violence through you like a bullet.

When you get home you ask Chan about him — you can’t remember but you’re so afraid. He tells you it’s not good for you to remember, but you push and he tells you that you were attacked when you were on the way to dinner. The sun hadn’t even set when he had attacked you. Chan had run into a shop to get you a bouquet, he’d forgotten to get you one for your anniversary. While you were waiting for him, a guy you’d dated, Felix, had been upset about you breaking it off with him and he had cornered you.

When he said it, it was like you were reliving it. The look of rage on his face, the knife, how your clothes had torn and the sharp rocks digging into your bare feet as you tried to run away. Blood on the pavement and spilled ice cream. A sickening crack and your screams bouncing off the buildings in the narrow corridor.

You couldn’t stop shaking as Chan recalled how he heard you scream from the street and ran out to find you running toward him, bloody and terrified, ankle nearly broken. That's when he tells you that the police still haven't found Felix — they think he skipped town.

The knowledge that he’s still out there sends you into a tailspin. You’re freefalling into terror and your only tether to reality is the dark brown eyes hovering over you and the hand on your face. You can’t hear his voice over the ringing in your ears, and before you finally fade you see him again. Lifeless eyes staring into yours, freckles contrast against pale, sickly skin. 

You have more night terrors. Well, day terrors. A shred of light filtering into your room is enough to cause a desperate fear to erupt inside you. Sometimes when you wake up, you think you see Felix, just staring at you from the chair in the corner. But your mind has turned him into a monster. He’s begun to rot, wasting away into something more gruesome and horrific. You don’t know what’s worse — the moments when he’s so real in your dreams, or in the moments between sleep and wake when you think you see him decaying before your eyes.

But Chan is always there to put you back together. He wipes your tears and gives you solace in his arms. He whispers in your ear and quiets you until you feel steady again, then he covers your body with his and drives your nightmares away until you’re boneless, floating in ecstasy.

Until the night he isn’t. You wake peacefully for once, but the silence echoes in your apartment. You know Chan is gone from the absolute lifelessness of your surroundings. But then you see him. Sitting in the same chair he always does in your nightmares. But this time he’s not lifeless, decaying.

He’s real, and he has a knife.

You feel lightheaded from the fear, frozen in your spot in bed. You force yourself to move, pushing yourself out of the place that’s given you safety and onto the cold hard floor. Your ankle aches in protest, but you fight through it as you stand on shaky legs, baking yourself into the wall. 

He glares at you, pushing himself out of his seat while you slide against the wall, inching toward the door. He takes one step toward you as you reach the opening, and you try to scream yourself hoarse. Sound refuses to come out of your throat; you can’t believe this is happening again. You fall to the floor in your attempt to escape him. You keep trying to ask him why he’s there, why he won’t leave you alone, but you can’t squeak out more than a gurgling gasp as you try to flee.

That's when he tells you.

At first he just wanted to have his chance to show you what you needed, who you needed. He killed your friends; all of them. He’d made sure to kill them in different ways so there would be no suspicion, staged some to look like suicides or accidents. He just wanted you back. But when you’d chosen Chan, he wanted you dead. He had planned on killing Chan as well; he had wanted you to be completely alone when he killed you, but he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to face you that night. 

You couldn’t breathe as he explained it. Nothing made sense, and yet it all made too much sense now. Felix had been the cause of so much of your pain, and it had all been because he was punishing you for not choosing him. And now you were going to die because of him. You hoped Chan was safe, that he’d left before Felix had come in. You also prayed he’d be okay after finding your body — he loved you so much. Finding you would kill him, at least, you hoped it wouldn’t.

You barely felt it when the knife cut into your chest. Sliding cleanly between your ribs and puncturing your lung. Instantly, you felt like you were drowning, choking and gurgling on blood as you fell back onto the hardwood. Felix’s smirking face swirled in your gaze before he disappeared, and Chan’s face replaced his. 

You tried to explain what happened, but it was too much. You couldn’t stop choking on the blood. Chan didn’t seem worried, he just stilled your frantic movements, and kissed your forehead. He whispered in your ear that he was going to save you, that you were ready now to be saved. You couldn’t understand what he meant, but it was getting harder to keep your eyes open. You felt him pull your body into his lap, and his lips on your neck, then a sharp, searing pain.

You felt as though your throat was being flayed open, muscles and veins on display but you couldn’t scream. Couldn’t move or think to force yourself to do anything. Simply blinding pain and horror. Then it felt like your blood was turned to molten lead, burning you from the inside out as it poured out of your open wounds. 

And then it stopped. Time simply ceased to exist for a moment as the pain cleared. You opened your eyes and saw him smiling down at you. He looked so happy, but he had something streaking down his chin and neck, beginning to flake off. You realized it was blood, your blood.

He told you to save your energy, your body was still recovering. You couldn’t understand, but when you tried to speak, you could only take a rattling inhale. He warned you against trying to speak again — your throat had been torn open in the struggle and it was still healing. He told you to just listen to him, to let him explain.

He told you he had saved you — Felix had broken in while he had been out getting you more roses. He had punctured your lung and when he had gotten there you were drowning in your own blood. But Chan had made it back in time to get him off you and give you something that would save you, heal you. He said it would also change you. He said he’d had the same thing happened to him, but it would be okay, because he had been alone. And you had him. And you would always have him.

He tilted your head back and sank his teeth into his wrist, ripping into the flesh until blood pooled on the surface and down the sides. You struggled against him, but he was too strong. The liquid poured into your mouth and down your throat as you thrashed.

But then you tasted it. It was a supernova of sensation and you couldn’t get enough. Every nerve-ending in your body felt as though it was being set alight. It was more intense than any orgasm you’d ever had; endless waves of euphoria washing over you as the blood danced across your palate and his fingers brushed against your skin, trailing over you gently before skimming underneath your clothes.

You’re torn between screaming from your ravishment and latching harder onto his wrist as to not stop the flow of blood pouring into you. But Chan made the choice for you, pulling his wrist away as he forces you toward the edge of your orgasm, trailing his fingers lovingly down your neck. His fingertip swirls in the healing viscera at the side of your throat, smiling as he brings the bloody appendage to his lips. He sucks the pad of his finger into his mouth and you see the lights of a billion galaxies explode behind your eyes as you come apart. 

You’re not sure how long you spend keening and shaking in his arms — it could have been minutes or hours — but he held you through it and explained the depth of his love for you. He had once promised you his eternal love and now you were going to receive it. You would never have to be without him again; your love was now preserved for all time.

You didn’t understand what he meant but you didn’t care. You were safe; Chan had saved you. Something you couldn’t describe crawled under your skin, it felt like something akin to power. There was an assurance you’d never felt before — you weren’t sure if it was Chan being there or if it was what he had done to you. Either way, you never wanted it to end.

—-----

The next few months passed as the previous few had — sleeping through the day and waking with the last rays of light. But sleep came much easier for you now. There were no more nightmares or sleep paralysis, just endless sleep in the arms of Chan.

You figured now that Felix had been dealt with, you were safe from him in both your waking life and your dreams.

And Chan had made your transition easy. You were already accustomed to spending your nights awake and your days asleep, but now it was more serious. He’d explained how the sunlight could burn you now, but how most windows filtered enough of the UV light to where you couldn’t feel it from indoors. 

He still went out some nights just after the sunset. You hated when he was gone — it’s like you could feel him in your head whispering to you. Whispering his love, his devotion, his endless praises. You weren’t sure if it was real or some lingering hallucinations from before. It felt so wrong, so foreign; to have him in your head like that felt like a violation of something sacred, something yours. But you didn’t even know if it was real.

Then he would come home, bringing dozens of roses and you’d forget his voice echoing in your consciousness. He didn’t bother to take the thorns off anymore; he said you’d never have to worry about something as trivial as that bothering you anymore. You were stronger, he’d made you stronger. And you made him stronger too. That’s why you had to take care of each other.

That’s what he said when he pulled you into his lap and took your thorn-bitten fingers into his mouth, sucking the blood off your skin like it was honey, moaning and praising you as he did. The feeling of it was more erotic and sensual than anything you’d ever experienced. It felt like he was taking part of you and stitching it into his own being; it was the closest thing you’d ever experienced to divinity.

And then he’d dig the tip of a knife into his palm, allowing the blood to pool as you salivated, watching it slide down his wrist as he held you in place. He talked about how you needed to learn control and restraint if you ever wanted to go outside again, but you could barely hear him over the smell of his blood invading your senses.

The cloyingly sweet, sticky scent permeated your brain and rendered it useless — your entire universe was reduced to the palm of his hand and the weeping fluid coming out of it. And then he would let you go, your lips immediately latching onto the cut, slowly stitching itself back together in front of your eyes. You kept waiting for the effect to wear off, the same way that a drug is never as good as the first time and you spend the rest of your life chasing that high; but it was the same every time. It was transcendent; you had never felt more connected to another person, to the world.

You could feel his consciousness brushing against yours, your souls intertwining. It was overwhelming enough without Chan pushing himself into you, but it always made it better. You would come undone with his blood smeared across your chin, streaking down your neck and across your chest; and yours staining the recesses of his mouth, along with the dotted fingerprints your healing flesh left behind on his face and neck.

You were addicted to it, to him. You would have done anything to stay holed up in your apartment, feeding on each other, fucking, and spending the next few hours basking in the afterglow. You barely felt the shallow cuts Chan littered across your bare skin while you came down, the world muted in a hazy golden light. The only reason you knew what was happening was the lingering feeling of his thoughts folding into yours; his devotion, obsession, love. But you couldn’t blame him — you felt the same way.

It was six months before he had decided it was time you leave your apartment, claiming you needed to reacquaint yourself with the world again. He told you that you’d be moving soon — you couldn’t stay much longer; there would always be a 5 year clock ticking down once you moved somewhere new. He also said the time would pass like minutes to you now, and you believed him. 6 months had passed in the blink of an eye — you could hardly believe that you broke up with him more than a year ago.

Wait. You’d never broken up with him. He was your Chan, the love of your life. There was never a reason to break up with him. You’d broken up with Felix. That’s right. You barely remembered him anymore, now that he didn’t plague your nightmares. You were only reminded of him when Chan traced his tongue along the faint scar that sat between your ribs, the place where he would whisper his apologies as he held you in his arms.

The first time he successfully dragged you out of your apartment, you nearly had a breakdown in the lobby of your building. You weren’t used to the world anymore; too much light that made your eyes water, too many sounds that bombarded your sensitive eardrums, too many scents that burned your sinuses like acid. But the worst part was the feeling of being exposed. The feeling of being surrounded by so many people, when your world had been reduced down to you and Chan was overwhelming. But he was there, holding your hand and whispering reassurances into your ear.

Before you’d walked out of the apartment, he had warned you not to get too close to strangers. He said you might have trouble controlling yourself around them. He wasn’t clear why you’d have trouble but you agreed; you had no desire to interact with anyone but him. But with the days getting shorter, there were more and more people out and about after sunset, and you had lost Chan in the market, his hand slipping out of yours and before you knew it you were surrounded. A sea of faces all blurring together but the worst part was the smell of them. 

Rotten. Stale. Some were too sickly sweet it made you gag and some were so bitter you had to breathe through your mouth, but somehow it only made it worse. You could feel their scents decaying in your palate. You fought the urge to vomit as you pushed your way past the crowd, finally being able to take a breath after you made it to freedom. That’s where Chan found you, resting against the wall in a secluded alleyway, breathing heavily and trying to settle your churning stomach.

He was frantic when he found you; his hands shook as he held your face in his hands, inspecting your features before crushing you against his chest. He sings your praises, whispering in your ear about how impressed he was by you. You couldn’t understand what he meant, but you didn’t care. The smell of him washed over you and muted the scent of everyone else. Your nose cradled in the juncture of his neck made your mouth water. Your teeth scraped across the thin skin reveling in the faint line of blood that bloomed on the surface of his skin, shivering as it spread across your tongue. 

The sensation of having Chan in your head grew almost deafening. It was so overwhelming you couldn’t focus — and in the next moment, you were staring at the ceiling of your apartment, gasping for air, holding onto the mass of curly hair between your legs. You didn’t know how you’d gotten there; you tried to sort through your memories and remember, but it was a void. And the waves of pleasure building made it hard to focus. You decided to drop it, giving into the sensations, your eyes sliding shut in mindless bliss. But then…

Freckles, and sunshine, a bright smile and warm brown eyes, small, soft hands and tender fingers, a thin waist and small shoulders. The feeling of safety but not in the way you’d experienced in the last year. It was something more gentle and trusting — it was the knowledge he’d always support you, but never limit or hide you. The details washed over you like a tidal wave. Felix. 

Then a crack, screaming, and those same eyes, dead and unseeing staring back at you. Blood pooling underneath his open mouth.

You gasp, pulling yourself away. You couldn’t make sense of what you had imagined. Felix wasn’t soft — he’d been possessive, rough. He killed your friends and he had planned to kill Chan. He’d been the one to end the life you used to know. Wasn’t he?

You couldn’t make sense of it, and you sat up to question Chan about it. But he was staring at you from the foot of the bed, head tilted to the side and his eyes darkening. You felt a familiar chill run down your spine as you stared at him. Your chest felt tight and the feeling of being cornered washed over you. The only thing your brain could formulate was run.

You pushed the thought away; you couldn’t run. Chan was your protector. He loved you. Why would you run from him? But there was something you were missing, something you couldn’t unravel in your mind. You fought the anxiety swelling in your chest and snuffed it out, letting your body relax under his hands as you sigh and apologize. His fingertips dug into your thighs as he chuckled and let his head hang, shoulders sagging in relief as he sinks back into you, whispering in your ear about how he thought he was going to lose you.

You couldn’t shake the terror that gripped you. It wasn’t until the sun began to rise and Chan fell asleep against your chest that you allowed yourself to breathe fully. The immediate fear had subsided, and you felt your control over your mind returning.

You hadn’t felt so clear in months and you weren’t sure how you didn’t realize it until now; it was as if you’d been sleepwalking for months and now you had finally woken up. 

Everything felt different. It was like you’d gotten a massage; your body was completely relaxed. No aching muscles, no joint pain, no lingering soreness. You weren’t even tired. You felt like you could run a marathon without breaking a sweat; but the best part was the silence. It felt like you were finally alone in your brain again. No Chan brushing up against your consciousness, no having to worry about what he’s going to say or think about the microexpressions you make, no haze caused by the blood or your orgasms. It gave you time to sort through all of the questions you–no… Not you. Chan. You finally allowed yourself to consider all the questions that Chan had shoved into the recesses of your brain.

Fractured memories started filtering through your mind — the ones you thought were real, but the more you prodded at them, they began to corrode and melt away into the bitter truth that had been hidden from you.

Chan had killed Felix that night in the alleyway. He’d snapped Felix’s neck without hesitation and brought you home with his corpse and used his image to manipulate you. To make you his again. But this time you were never getting away from him. He’d made sure of that. 

You came to the horrific realization that he had stolen sunshine from your life; not only were you now doomed to spend eternity in the shadows, but he’d taken Felix from you, and then corrupted the only pieces of him you had left. Your memories.

You fought the desire to scream as you realized you were trapped in the arms of his murderer. Your murderer.

You didn’t have time to panic — you needed to plan. If you were going to run it had to be planned perfectly; Chan wasn’t just your maker, he’d also forced himself into your mind. And you knew how paranoid he could be. You spent the next few weeks carefully guarding your thoughts — making sure you didn’t flinch from his touch or shy from his affection. He had to think you were completely committed to him. And it wasn’t hard to do; when Chan was awake, you could barely remember why you wanted to leave, and your memories of Felix faded into the abyss. But when he fell asleep, Felix haunted you. You couldn’t stop yourself from pouring over every detail of your life with him, over his death, piecing together the fragmented memories. They made you sick to think about.

It was like you were living in two realities. Your nights were rose-tinted and hazy, full of lust and blood slipped between your lips and Chan’s, and your days were gray and harsh, sharp like the knife Chan had slid between your ribs. It was becoming harder to forget. And each day Chan was planning your move together even more. Once he faked your death, something he said was necessary, you knew it’d be harder to leave him. 

But every day the thought of leaving him got harder. And it was because of the blood. You were beginning to suspect you were addicted to it – you craved it desperately. There was an ache for it in your veins, in your mind, and in your soul. But even more distressing, his blood was the only thing you could stomach. 

The smell of anyone and anything else was revolting. He had brought home a blood bag after an outing one day, saying he just wanted to test a theory, and you couldn’t even stay in the same room with it after he had ripped the top off. And being in public felt like torture. Their scents burned your nose and throat, made your head throb painfully, and churned your stomach violently. You had nearly passed out in the small market due to the overwhelming nature of it. 

Chan had successfully made you entirely dependent on him. During the night, the idea of it sat in the back of your mind and sulked, but during the day, the awareness of it felt like a forest fire of rage and grief. You hated that sometimes you wished you could just ignore what he’d done and move on. But every time you tried to let it go, you remembered his eyes; dead and lifeless on the ground. Light snuffed out permanently.

But he still called to you, his blood called to you. You could nearly hear it sing under his perfect, smooth skin. It invaded your senses and made you unable to focus. His blood was the epicenter of your focus, even in the clarity of day.

The days and nights slunk by the same as usual; you woke up to Chan’s face buried in your neck and hands skimming over every inch of your naked body, he would give you his blood and make you cum until you were floating in a sea of blissful nothingness, and then while you swam in your comedown, Chan would disappear into the darkness of night after dropping a kiss to your forehead. After regaining sensation in your toes and full function of your brain, you were left to aimlessly wander around your apartment, waiting for him to return. You carefully avoided thinking of anything that would incriminate you as his time away grew steadily longer and longer until he began returning nearly at sunrise when he’d produce yet another bouquet of roses, a different color each day, and take you back to bed where he’d sink onto his knees between your legs until he passed out on your chest from exhaustion. 

Everything seemed normal until it wasn’t.

You smelled it before he had made it to your floor. Blood. So much blood. Not only his, but someone else’s. Foul and sickeningly sweet, coating your senses. It was like a blanket in your mind; you could barely hear yourself think. The effects only got worse the closer it got until you heard your front door open. It was blinding; your vision swam and you fought the urge to gag. 

Chan smiled at you as he shut the door behind him, as if he wasn't carrying a body over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He explained that today was the day; you’d be leaving tonight. He dropped the body unceremoniously on the floor as you struggled to breathe. 

They were obviously dead — you could tell because of the almost stale undertone of their scent; but your brain struggled to understand why they were on your living room floor. And why Chan seemed so nonplussed about it. Then it hit you; he had killed them to fake your death. You wanted to cry — they had a life, someone who loved them, and now they were dead because of Chan, because of you. Just like Felix.

Something in you snapped. You didn’t know where you had gotten the knife from, or what you had planned to do with it, but one minute you were crying over the corpse of a stranger, and the next, Chan was pinned to the floor underneath you with a knife in his chest. He just smiled at you as he struggled. You didn’t stop to think, you just ran, grabbing the backpack Chan had packed with your essentials off the floor as you sprinted out the door into the night. 

You could still feel him in your head, but only a whisper. You did your best to block him out, gaining your bearings as you weaved through the empty alleyways toward the train station. He’d planned everything — there was an excess of cash, new passports with new names. With each step, you built a wall in your mind that Chan couldn’t climb, couldn’t crumble, couldn’t force through. You needed to be free of him, if not just for your sake, for the sake of everyone else. 

It kept you afloat for months, skipping from city to city. You fed only on blood bags when you could stomach them, which wasn’t often. And everything would be fine until you woke up with his voice whispering in your head — and the smell of his blood floating in the air. You would leave that day, scrubbing every trace of yourself from the city as you left. 

It worked well enough for a while, but the time you had in each place seemed to get shorter and shorter, and your bag got lighter and lighter. You had started using your abilities to assist you; you would go to the fanciest bar you could find and try to pick out the ones with money to spare. And then after a bit of flirting, you’d compel them to walk with you to the nearest ATM and hand you a modest amount. You never took more than they’d miss, and that alone made you feel less guilty.

You were nearly to the point of compelling your latest target; one of the youngest you’d met and undoubtedly the richest. But he was also the kindest; he almost made you wish things were different. That you were different. He was giggling at a joke you made when you smelled it. Smelled him.

He grinned at you from across the bar and you felt your world shift — the thick fog of his blood settled on your mind and your vision blurred around the edges. You hadn’t realized how hungry you were until that moment. But then his focus shifted to the man next to you. The soft, kind stranger who didn’t deserve whatever Chan had planned for him.

But you knew he was careful; he would never be so rash as to expose himself in such a busy place. And you knew he’d follow you, wherever you went. So you slipped out, lingering long enough to catch his sight as you left. You could smell him trailing you as you slithered down alleyways and through crowds until you were cornered.

You hadn’t meant to get cornered — his blood was so distracting you had forgotten entirely where you were supposed to go. But it was better than letting him get a hold of your date from the bar. His voice was so loud in your head. And the blood; just being near it made your jaw ache and your throat dry.

He had you again; hands on your waist possessively as he pressed you against the wall, your head smacking into the hard cement painfully. But it was nothing compared to the feeling of his fangs tearing into your neck. 

The walls in your mind fell around you; he had forced his way back in as your body grew limp. His voice echoed and trembled as he poured his rage and anxiety into your mind, so loud you couldn’t hear yourself at all. He was so upset at you for leaving him, and jealous you’d turned to anyone but him for help, but most of all he was relieved to have you back in his arms. 

You almost felt bad, but slipping the needle into his neck was so easy he barely felt it. Not until the effects started to take hold. Pretty soon, he was on the ground, staring up at you with a look of hurt. True, genuine hurt. He hadn’t even looked so upset when you had stabbed him all those months ago.

You told him not to worry; you’d never get rid of him. He merely needed some time to adapt to your new life together.

It’s where you find yourselves now; Chan pleading for you to free him, to let him take care of you how he did before. He hates the red neon lights that illuminate his room after the sun sets, after you leave. It reminds him of your blood. He craves it desperately, and you keep him ever so desperate. He has enough to stay alive, to stay sane. But not enough to fend off the weakness that’s settled into his bones. 

You remind him that he has to earn your trust after everything he’s done, but thankfully he has an eternity to prove himself to you. Because as addicted to you he may be, you’re equally dependent on him. His blood still sings to you in a way not even Changbin’s, your new lover, does. And you know you’ll never change him, even though it could be the replacement you desperately crave. Changbin doesn’t deserve the suffering though.

But you and Chan do — so much death, just because of the two of you. It’s why you know you might never release him from the chains. Why he’ll never be truly free again. You won’t be either. He would kill any and everyone if it meant he could keep you to himself. And despite yourself, you still love him, in a way. The thought of being tied to him for all eternity brings you comfort. And you know he knows it. He’s still in your mind, even if it’s just a whisper. And you’re in his.

It’s why you keep him how you do. You can hear the ugly, possessive, murderous thoughts that run through his head when you leave. You hold out hope as you clean his blood off your mouth that he’ll learn some control, in time. And thankfully you have an abundance of it, but you won’t waste any more of it on him tonight. He’ll see you again before sunrise, when you return from your night with Changbin. 

At least when you’re away you can pretend to be normal. Pretend your ex-boyfriend slash lover slash maker isn’t locked in a room in your apartment that could withstand a nuclear fallout. Pretend you weren’t a murderer. Pretend you weren’t still maybe in love with a murderer. The one person who’s caused you more than a lifetime of pain.

And Chan will complain about how you reek of him, sex, and alcohol. And you’ll soothe him with your thorn bitten finger tips pressed to his tongue as you sink onto his cock, making sure he drifts into bliss as the first rays of light break across the horizon and you both fall into an easy sleep with the knowledge you both are getting what you really want.

Chan has you. And you have Chan…

Right where you want him.

Taglist: @kiestrokes @eureka-its-zico @j-a-nuary @minttangerines @minisugakoobies @bibbykins

#yandere vampire chan #vampire bang chan #yandere bang chan #bang chan smut #dark bang chan #skz smut #skz yandere #skz vampire #skz bang chan #stray kids smut #stray kids yandere

[yanderes-galore]

Fandom: Star Wars

Character: Barriss Offee

Pairing: Romantic, Gender-Neutral Darling

Type of Fic: Concept

Plot: Darling is a Coruscanti civilian who has Separatist sympathies.

I can try! Did research on the character so I hope this is mostly in character! This focuses on Clone Wars. It may be a bit short as she doesn't appear often and I tried to revolve the plot around what was given. Sorry if it seems rushed :(

Potential Spoilers For Star Wars: Clone Wars

Yandere! Barriss Offee with Darling who sympathizes with Seperatists

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Violence, Mentions of the Jedi Temple incident, Delusional behavior, Forced relationship.

It is to be expected that the people of Coruscant are on different sides with the corruption of the government.

You were one of the ones who understood the Seperatist's beliefs.

They wanted to make a new government separated from corruption, at least that's what you think as you had no idea Sith were involved as a civilian.

Due to you being a civilian I imagine it would be difficult to be in contact with Barriss.

She's a Jedi so maybe, despite being a civilian, you have some knowledge of them?

That or maybe you just meet her while she does some work around Coruscant?

Somehow you'd manage to meet up with the Jedi.

I suspect you meet her sometime after the "brain worm incident" but before she's entirely disillusioned.

Barriss would no doubt agree with someone such as you.

You would probably end up helping her realize the corruption in what she's doing.

Even if you don't mean to....

You having such sympathies doesn't mean you hate the Jedi so she may get along with you well when she meets you.

It's not just your shared views that make Barriss grow disillusioned, it may actually be the festering feelings she has for you.

Jedi aren't allowed to have personal connections, yet Barriss is very emotionally motivated.

A poison to the Jedi.

Essentially, in this concept, you are accidentally the one to make Barriss take a dip into the Dark Side and bomb the temple later on.

You two of course start as friends.

With you she feels she can let go the stress of her duty.

Already a dangerous slope.

Barriss would relate more to your views by the time she realizes all the corruption.

She feels guilty.

She no longer wants to be part of it all... she just wants to be herself.

Especially when her feelings towards you begin to manifest.

She's conflicted, so much of her wants things to change.

Maybe being a Jedi wasn't for her?

Barriss tries to prevent her thoughts from clouding her.

She keeps herself at bay by following you around Coruscant on her down time.

She thinks fondly of you but knows it's wrong.

Or... is it wrong to give into her emotions?

Who says so? A corrupt order?

Her feelings towards the corruption and her love for you is what drives her to do heinous things.

By the time of the temple attack Barriss is overcome by her obsession.

She feels by bombing the temple it's a message.

Plus, she feels she's doing it for you.

She'll change things for you, then you can both be happy.

Isn't that what you want?

When Barriss Offee goes on the run, she makes it a goal to find you.

You better believe she's dragging you down with her.

You have no idea what's going on or what she's done.

Let alone the fact she supposedly did it for you.

She just corners you while on the run, telling you how much she loves you.

She then goes on to say she's finally done "it" all for you... just to make a change.

Already fearful, you may ask what.

Then she tells you...

and the color drains from your face.

Barriss is a murderer.

A murderer who is madly in love with you...

Before you're able to yell for help, Barriss is already knocking you out and preparing to run.

Her plan is to find somewhere with you to hide...

Sure, she's on the run, but this can be a new start for the both of you!

She'll try to find somewhere to hide from all the corruption... even if it seems impossible...

All because she feels this will make you both happy in your new life together... you'll see!

#yandere star wars #yandere barriss offee #yandere star wars clone wars

[stellarred]

To anyone who still thinks Data was right in saying that Q's interest in Picard was like a master and his beloved pet,

well...

A master doesn't give roses to a pet.

They don't tell the pet they'll change genders for them and be what they are actually attracted to because they really want to have sex with them.

They don't propose spending eternity with the pet.

They don't steal the pet's girlfriends or love interests, or interfere in their relationships.

They don't save their pet's life and offer them a chance to fix past mistakes, and go through all that effort and work for said beloved pet simply because they care.

They don't manipulate the timelines of the universe just to help pet get over old childhood trauma, so that the pet can learn to open their heart to the master's love.

They don't defy the orders of their own masters to help a pet overcome challenges to prove that said pet is worthy of continuing to live, and because they are madly in love with and obsessed with said pet.

So, I think it's a safe bet that Data, like the rest of the crew, Starfleet, and even the WHOLE FEDERATION don't know all of those extra juicy details.

Because Picard didn't talk about them. He had secrets with Q.

Why would he talk about these things? He's having a hard enough time explaining Q and his Robin Hood cosplay. Still, to this day, Riker and the others have lingering questions.

#qcard #star trek q #q #john de lancie #patrick stewart #star trek tng #star trek #stp #tng #data #picard x q

[alyjojo]

Advice to Work on Yourself 🤸🏿‍♀️ in July 2022: Aries

Death - The Hierophant - 8 Wands rev

Regarding: 4 Swords rev

This is contention within the family unit. There are several different stories here. One being two people that could be a couple, both Cups courts are here, being very greedy and playing mind games over finances or the “glorious will”. Possibly trying to manipulate your life and decisions based on what they will or won’t leave to you. If so, it used to work and now you don’t give a damn, you haven’t messaged them because of how they act.

The same story could be said for a marriage or relationship of yours they don’t like, or if you have gotten divorced, they didn’t like that either. If you’re not religious, they don’t like that. If you’re not wealthy, they don’t like that. If you eat steak on on a Ham holiday, they don’t like that. Basically these people can kiss your ass with all of these stupid standards and judgements it’s feeling like, but at one time all of these things really got to you, or hurt you. You’re not talking to them because you know how they are, you can’t please them, and you have no confidence anything has changed. You’re afraid they’ll only have harsh words for you, that will hurt like it always has.

The advice I’m seeing here is not to end the relationship (though for some I’m sure that’s necessary), but rather to allow it to transform you into what YOU want to be. You’re worried about becoming the person they want you to be, when really they’re a King & Queen, and you‘re on a path to become an Emperor. He is every King put together. If anything, these people seem stressed because they’re jealous of what you’re achieving, even though it’s not their way. Especially because it’s not their way 💯 You’re being asked to rejoin the family fold, in all of your brilliance and glory, and if it makes other people squirm then let them squirm (quietly), because you know how to act. These people come up as water and you’re fire 🔥, of course you do things differently, you’re not like them at all. That should be appreciated. Because of the artist card I have to mention that if drugs or some kind of troubled past is following you, know that some of the best people to exist have overcome the same kinds of challenges and risen above it all in the end ❤️

In the case this whole reading is switched and you’re the one acting in this nasty 5 Swords way, it’s time to change your tune towards your family.

Animal Oracle: Humpback Whale 🐋

“Music is essential to your healing and well-being, whether singing, playing an instrument, or listening.”

In order to diagnose their patients, one of the questions that shamans often asked was when the patient stopped singing. If it had been quite some time, the shaman was certain to recommend singing (among other remedies) as an essential aspect of recovery. All that’s involved when you sing - the fullness and rhythm of your breathing, the soulful and creative expression of your spirit - serves to enhance your health and raise your vibrations. Similarly, playing an instrument can touch on those inner creative depths that yearn to be expressed. Simply listening to your favorite tunes or melodies can inspire & heal. Let the magical child inside help you rediscover the joy of creating music. It’s time to play!

Artist Oracle: JEAN-MICHEL BASQUIAT

- In lieu of a canvas, find a wall.

- Try collaborating with Andy Warhol.

- Good work can come from bad habits.

Advice:

- Encourage Your Loved Ones

- Plan A Family Reunion

Charms:

Squirrel 🐿 on Queen of Cups shows a gatherer personality, they may have many “treasures” and gifts, money, which all fall in line with the will story. These things may matter greatly to this person, and they use them as a tool to manipulate, whereas you could care less who gets what just maybe just stop being a dick about it thx. If you are a more feminine gender, your mother may have been a stereotypical & old fashioned type and you’re bucking gender stereotypes across the board because you’re still The Emperor.

The Sun ☀️ on The Hierophant shows you actually doing “the right thing” despite what may be being judged of you. Also, doing whatever makes you happy IS the right thing. You could be more conservative in your behaviors or beliefs, or they are, and that makes you/them happy. You are someone that can be an example for others, or you literally are a teacher or parent that is an example for others, and you’re doing the right thing.

Butterfly 🦋 on Death shows transformation more than endings. These people and all of the contention involved in these relationships may have played a big role in you deciding to become the successful person you are. Even if it was purely out of spite (for some, it was 😆). It’s important to recognize how even difficult situations have transformed you, once you see how you’ve changed, it’s easier to not allow yourself back into old & tired energies or cycles with people that haven’t changed, and can’t.

Crown 👑 on The Emperor shows you moving up in life with or without these people, though Spirit is nudging you to heal yourself and rejoin the family unit if you’ve been away. People can think whatever they want about who you once were, but who you are now is what’s important. They can’t know until you show them. This could be pointing out a father specifically or reconnecting with a father figure. Stepfather, grandfather, close uncle, whoever he is to you. The issues seem to be with the matriarch of the family more than him.

#aries tarot reading #advice to work on yourself #advice #july 2022 #Aries #tarot

[astrologybyana]

lot of spirit / part of spirit

hii babies, i'm back! in this post, our focus is on our lot of spirit ✨

lot of spirit tells us about where we can experience abundance in life

it is also believed by some astrologers that this placement in our chart shows how our spirit guides are like

so i'm just gonna connect those two and say it's your higher self whispering in your ear how your soul can find satisfaction hahah

its formula is ascendant + moon - sun

however, to find where your lot of spirit is located, you can simply go to astro.com, choose “free horoscopes” and then “extended chart selection”

from house systems, choose “whole signs” and write "37452" to the additional objects part, and there it is!

you can also access to my masterpost, here 🎈

it’s a long post so i cut it from here 🧚🏻‍♀️

lot of spirit in aries / 1st house

very passive earlier in life, you probably didn't like arguments and confrontation

and gave in easily bc you didn't wanna be alone

which means u might have been taken for granted a lot

you have learnt / are learning / should learn (lol sorry...) how to overcome this fear of yours tho

let people come to you and when the time comes, let them go, to let abundance in your life

once you get the hang of it, your need for indepence will take over and you'll see success comes easily with your leadership abilities 🌸

lot of spirit in taurus / 2nd house

you might not have felt good enough while growing up

in relationships, you might be the one who is more giving

pulling back from intense people might be good for you because you are prone to sacrificing yourself

and what you need is your own sense of "self", what you need is "you" separately

you are probably drawn to people who are wealthy and materalistic

others might challenge your self development but this is the area you need to work on anyways ✨

lot of spirit in gemini / 3rd house

you might have felt like you haven't been understood / listened enough while growing up, you might have had communication issues

you can read between the lines

you observe how people communicate, you can understand body language and gests and mimics easily

so it's hard to manipulate you, though, it might be easy for you to manipulate others

you probably make scenarios in your head to see how things can go

you might need to work on mind flexibility 🕊

lot of spirit in cancer / 4th house

family approval is important to you, uou feel like you need to belong somewhere, anywhere

because you might not have felt the emotional connection you wanted to feel as a child

the lack of emotional connection might have been with one parent or both; they might have been aloof or distant, physically or emotionally

in relationships, you may feel responsible like you need to carry the traditional roles of a gender

you like knowing what's going to happen, it might give you a feeling of security

having a job that where you take care of others will probably be good for you 🦄

lot of spirit in leo / 5th house

you might feel like you haven't been a child really, or you haven't had fun a lot

you might have grown up in an area with people that are very different than you

you wanted to be popular, but those differences did not really let you

and feeling neglected by your peers probably blocked your creativity and heart chakra

you might have developed a wall around you, which you think protects your self esteem but the only thing it does is not let love in

you should learn how to be comfortable letting that wall down and reach out to others 💖

lot of spirit in virgo / 6th house

you might have grown up having to out a standart for certain stuff

you might have felt like you had to do what you were told, and you put high standarts to do those things, in order to get your parents' attention

however, this probably led you to put too much effort into everything you did

which might have made you feel like you were responsible for anything and everything

you might have a tendency to take things too personally

high standarts are good, don't get me wrong, but it might feel good to not critisize yourself and others too much and let things loose a little 🎈

lot of spirit in libra / 7th house

you love harmony and getting along and all that, but when you see unjustice, whoops 👀

you can't stand that shit. but good for you!

when you defend someone who feels support, you feel good, it's like everything is as it's supposed to be

but while fighting for others, you might tend to ignore your own problems

and no, sweetie, that's not good. you need harmony here, too

pls learn how to set boundries and take as much as you give 🌠

lot of spirit in scorpio / 8th house

you probably have developed a strong sense of self which lets you know when to help people, and when to step back

you might feel like you are unintentionally attracted stuff that are about other people's values

fear of failure, ✨a lot✨ which makes you driven to use your full potential in like anything

people might try to use their power on you, which triggers your sense of defence

you need to trust, but it's hard for you, you need to feel like you are loved as who you are

doing your own thing and achieving your personal success will open doors for you 💸

lot of spirit in sagittarius / 9th house

you might not have felt confident enough while growing up

you might have been in situations where you felt like you had to speak up, but you just couldn't because of your lack of confidence

you have a philosophical approache to life and you love expanding your mentality

you're intuitive, you just know when someone is genuine or not

you don't like small talk, you want to dig deeper and deeper

following your intuition and avoiding gossip etc. is the best thing to do here 🎀

lot of spirit in capricorn / 10th house

you had to learn how to take responsibility at a younger age

you were probably someone to step back and observe, you might have felt suppressed and feared of stepping outta line

because you knew there were consequences to face after doing something

as you grow up, life has probably challenged you by leaving you in situations where you have to deal with self esteem, and eventually developing it

you might also like to challenge yourself and see how much more you can accomplish

you'll find a feeling of satisfaction by facing your fears, gaining control over who you are, making your goals clear and achieving them 👑

lot of spirit in aquarius / 11th house

you might have no or little control over your identity while growing up, and it might have affected your social life

you might have had mood swings every now and then, which probably made you feel like your life was full of ups and downs, like a rollercoaster

although you're a very friendly person, but you might have felt like you never fit in, so you learnt to rely on yourself only

you are still discovering yourself, and that's beautiful

expressing your unique ideas will make you meet people like you

however, you should overcome your impulsivity in order not to experience outbursts 🎈

lot of spirit in pisces / 12th house

you probably think you are here to help people

what makes you think this way is that there have been so many people who needed you

you try to see the best in people, and while that's good, sometimes your sight might get too cloudy, which could lead to not seeing red flags

whenever you feel like your energy is draining, you need to get away

you tend to bottle up your own problems, and open up when you feel like you can trust someone 100%

you may find it difficult to say no, but that's exactly what you should learn 💖

#astrology #astrology chart #astrology houses #traditional astrology #astrology observations #astro notes #astrology notes #astro observations #zodiac #zodiac signs #astrology signs #lot of spirit #part of spirit #spirit #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #new blog #new post

[illegiblewords]

On FFXIV and the Devs

Listen, I know I’ve been mostly blogging FFXIV for the past couple years--but technically speaking this is my general blog. Some of my followers rn are from Final Fantasy XIV specifically, others are from well before that. I’m very lucky to have friends from lots of places so this is kind of talking to both for a sec.

Some of my past fandoms I think legitimately wound up traumatizing me a bit. Not everyone in them of course, but like. What [INSERT UNSPECIFIED FANDOM] ended up becoming? I started seeing people commit and endorse violent crimes against others over fiction. It became controversial to say you sincerely loved a character as an individual, shaped by all the life experiences they’d had. Wanting to see more of an individual character’s story for who they were and not just what they’d suffered was something I saw people get harassed over. And I’ve seen creators for that fandom behave in ways that were anywhere from lazy to apathetic to downright hateful. There was no joy or love for the characters themselves--only a desire to control and manipulate readers in other aspects of their lives. Final Fantasy XIV fans, overall, love the developers. For the first iteration of this game (so 1.0) it almost got canceled entirely because the way it was presented didn’t work. The devs created a storyline that amounted to a near apocalypse, and when they took things offline to revise/reboot the game? They presented it as the heroes falling to that near-apocalypse.

When 2.0/A Realm Reborn (the current starting point for the game) got brought back--that was a huge show of faith. Everything was revamped in a huge way, and the developers have continued to pay close attention to fan experiences in order to innovate and create new ways to improve quality. The fact that the game HAS achieved huge success at this point is after having overcome tremendous challenges across its lifetime. One of the biggest obstacles that players cited, the length of the first story arc, was even addressed when the devs came back to cut and streamline non-essential elements to eliminate drag. And, as I’m obligated to say as a FFXIV fan, there is a free trial now that goes not only through the entirety of A Realm Reborn but Heavensward too--with Heavensward being the first expansion and considered to be the point where things start getting really good and spicy.

But it goes beyond that too. See, when this past expansion (Shadowbringers) came out, the developers had been given an ultimatum by higher ups. The next race added to the game would be the last. The developers wanted to add a more bestial race option in the Hrothgar, but knew that players were DYING to get tall-and-pretty bunny people with Viera. They worked their asses off against the clock to make sure they had playable options for both Hrothgar and Viera, despite them having very limited hair options, initially no helms that would display, and gender locks. By this, I mean you could only play a female Viera and male Hrothgar. FFXIV hasn’t had gender locked races since 1.0 if I remember right. People got angry, especially given the races didn’t seem finished. But 1) a bunch of developers took extra, unpaid time to add as many helm options as they could before the game released so that players wouldn’t be left with nothing. They did this specifically out of their own creative passion, desire for a quality game, and love for fans. I cannot stress enough how huge this is. They put in SO MUCH EXTRA WORK just because they care. 2) The developers spent the time before next expansion ADDING MALE VIERA SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE FANS WANTED IT SO BADLY. They used the extra time and resources to unlock that option! I wouldn’t be surprised at all if we find they’ve fleshed out the options/polished up existing character design for Viera and Hrothgar as well. We have additionally been promised, in no uncertain terms, that female Hrothgar are coming too. They aren’t being released with the male Viera because this time the devs wanted to be able to make everything as polished as they can for release. They basically used the ultimatum they had before as a way to get their foot in the door as it was closing. They are now able to add to Viera and Hrothgar BOTH, when they’d previously been told they wouldn’t be allowed any further additions. This was, again, a passion move. Natsuko Ishikawa, meanwhile, got to helm the writing for Shadowbringers. It was her first time being a main force in the main scenario plotline. She previously wrote bits for regional plots, as well as the very popular storylines for Dark Knights and Alchemists. She received a standing ovation from fans when she faced them post-Shadowbringers release, and the positive reception reduced her to tears of gratitude. The developers make jokes, and do interviews with fans, and directly answer fan questions with thought and care and playfulness. They are truly humble people who love what they do and are respectful to their audience. Players have had critiques for the game, as folks will have critiques for all media. When the developers learn of critiques, by and large there is always a sense that they listen, consider, and do what they can to improve to the best of their ability and within reason. It’s not indiscriminate and they don’t always know about everything (there are a lot of fans and not all criticism is legitimate) but again. The respect and good intent are absolutely there. I am unbelievably grateful for this game and for the team behind it. It’s restored a lot of faith in people and in creators. The story and its characters are powerfully done. It has a tremendous amount of heart and as a game, it’s a joy to play. I’d strongly encourage people to try it out if you haven’t already. It’s just not something I take for granted, and I think it’s important to remember how fortunate FFXIV and its base are.

#final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #shadowbringers #ffxiv #ff14

[oathofoaksart]

YOUNG JUSTICE/DC OC: JO “LOVETAP” SHINODA

bio under the cut!

BASICS

Name: Josephine Shinoda 

A.K.A: Lovetap; Jo, Jojo, Jo-Hoe, Tap

Age: 29 [S3]

Gender: Cisgender Female 

Orientation: Bisexual

Occupation: Music Store Owner, Star Sapphire Corps Member 

 Race: Human 

Ethnicity: Japanese-Caucasian 

Location: Santa Monica, California 

Hometown: Hana, Maui; Hawaii

 Skin: Fairly suntanned with visible bikini tanlines, lightly freckled around the nose and cheekbone area

Hair: Naturally black with a blonde ombre gradient, gradient turns dark magenta when powered up. 

Eyes: Red-Brown [civvies], Glowing magenta sclera with white-pink irises [powered up]

Height: 5'4

Build: Well-toned, with strong arms and legs; ample curved. 

Distinctions: Inscription of the One Ring tattooed on her right shoulder blade, fond of yoga pants and loose band muscle shirts combo

 RELATIONS

Parents: Haruto and Tara Shinoda

Siblings: Jack "Daiichi" Shinoda (twin brother; deceased) 

Friends: Emi Homura (deceased), Ghia'ta, Carol "Star Sapphire" Ferris, Guy "Green Lantern" Gardner, Leiko “Inari” Ara [OC], Tora "Ice" Olafsdotter, Shayera “Hawkgirl” Hal, Hank “Hawk” Hall, Don “Dove” Hall, Charlie “Scribe” Jenson [OC] 

Partner/s: Several noncommittal relationships and one-nighters; Bryce "Red Lantern" Richards [OC] (ev.)

Misc.: Queen Aga'po, Gi "Riot/Geode" Flores [OC]

Affiliations: The Star Sapphire Corps, The Justice League  

 PERSONALITY

Personality Type: ENFJ-A [Assertive Protagonist] 

Temperament: Sanguine-Choleric 

Alignment: Neutral Good 

Relaxed | Positive | Idealistic | Sensitive | Stubborn 

 Jo is the poster girl for the coastal surfer babe; laid-back, fun-loving, and friendly. She’s an honest woman, though not scathing, which makes her a go-to for advice and well-placed encouragement. Because of her many interests, she meets and makes friends in all walks of life, often making her the social link between vastly different groups. Her passion rears its head in concern of humanitarian subjects, from LGBTQ+ issues to food crises, and will jump at the chance to lend aid. 

This is especially true as Lovetap, where she feels she has a more hands-on approach in doing good. Her personality doesn’t change in costume as it does amplify, she stays playful and lighthearted in tense situations, but her morals are steadfast. Tap is a loyal and dedicated ally to her fellow Sapphires and friends in the Justice League circle, and a personable hero to civilians she encounters. 

She’s very well-meaning, but she also tends to bite more than she can chew. This becomes a problem when she’s too headstrong to admit she needs a breather and will continue shouldering the weight until someone steps in. It also applies to her emotions, Jo is quick to lend a shoulder to cry on, but struggles to admit when something is amiss in her personal life in fear of bogging down others. Her way of coping with her problems is usually done by busying herself with projects, but sooner or later it becomes too much and she’ll spiral. 

ABILITIES AND WEAKNESSES

Powers and Abilities

Violet Energy Conduit: As part of the Star Sapphire Corps, Jo wields a Violet Power Ring. Like most power rings on the emotional spectrum, it allows Jo the ability of flight, survival in vacuums, manipulation of energy, creation of force fields, creation of light constructs at will, and tap into a xenolinguistic database. Because the Violet ring is powered by love, it also has attributes found only in the Sapphire Corps. 

Love Empathy: Love is the center of the Sapphire Corps and much of the Sapphire’s abilities tie to it. Jo can detect feelings and connections of love from which she can draw power from outside her actual power battery. She can also form connection tethers to people she feels close with, she can use these tethers to know if the other person may be in possible danger and quickly teleport to their side. Being around other Sapphires greatly increases her power as they feed off each other’s love like an echo chamber. 

Crystallization:  Special to the Star Sapphire Corps is the creation of Star Sapphire crystals, often in conjunction to their energy constructs. These crystals can also be used to encase a victim and place them in suspended animation, in some cases able to use the victim as an extra power source by influencing them with love. Jo personally doesn't like to take it up to this point, as she finds it too intrusive. 

Violet Energy Constructs: Jo is able to conjure light constructs at will, her ring being able to create any object. Jo is fond of using mecha-like weapons, classic horror and kaiju characters, and figures from her favorite Kurasawa movies.  

Healing Capabilities: Jo’s ring not only lets her heal at an accelerated rate, but also heal injuries of, or even revive, others provided she has a strong enough connection to share the life energy for such a feat. 

Avarice Immunity: Because Jo’s love is of the selfless sort, Jo is immune to the attacks of an Orange Lantern as long as her love stays that way. 

 Limitations and Weaknesses:

Emotional Instability: The Sapphire ring is a double-edged sword in that while it's formidable in raw power, it can easily turn against Jo with an overload of emotion. If she’s not careful, the ring can influence her day-to-day life from being overly jealous and protective of those she cares for, to being too sensitive of her own feelings. In a worst case scenario, the ring can completely overcome Jo’s mind and force her into a frenzy.

Ring Dependency: Without her ring, Jo reverts to an average human woman, so she is entirely dependent on her ring for protection and offence.  It’s necessary for her to have her ring on at all times or at least on her person should the need arise. 

 HISTORY

Born second of fraternal twins, Josephine Shinoda lived an idyllic lifestyle with her parents and brother in her hometown of Hana, in Maui, Hawaii. Jo and her brother Jack were an especially close pair of siblings, sharing interests from surfing with their father to classic pop culture. Jo was the much more extroverted sibling and had no trouble making friends where she went, whereas Jack had difficulty asserting himself socially; Jo often made strides to make her friends friends of Jack’s. This continued all through their young school life, even as Jack’s social anxiety gave way to depression. Jo and her parents were supportive of him throughout, and continued to be so when the twins finally separated when college came around. 

Jo chose to study in Los Angeles whereas Jack left for Metropolis. Admittedly the distance worried Jo for a while, but college proved to be an overall good experience for Jack, especially once after the introduction of his later girlfriend, Emi. 

Jo spent her college years partying and submercing herself into the music scene, eventually sparking the idea of opening a music store after college. Jack jumped at the idea with Emi right behind, she also being involved in music via playing guitar for an alternative band. Jo and Emi became solid friends in their own right, meeting and sharing even more when Jo would visit on the occasion. 

Not long after college, Jo learned Jack had proposed to Emi and was elated by the news. The three went into making wedding plans, but things were cut short two months into the engagement. Jack and Emi were caught in a fatal car crash, leaving Jo inconsolable. After their respective funerals and some time reflecting, Jo followed through with opening a music shop in their honor, “JJ’s Music and Records.” 

Jo operated in LA for a handful of years before deciding to expand out of her comfort zone and opening another store somewhere else. With an intern in tow, they settled on Bludhaven, where Jo spent another few years. Despite how well her business was doing and that her life was going in a good direction, Jo hadn’t been able to shake off the loss of her two closest friends. She was restless and tried to bury her feelings by distracting herself with anything she could involve herself in, as she didn’t want to set this worry on anyone, especially her parents. Jo was steadily wrapping herself into a depression and refused to admit it. She returned to LA in hopes that the move and reconnecting with old friends would clear her mind. 

With no such luck, Jo proceeded to shell within herself. Her days dulled and she became stuck in routine, spending most of her time in the shop and locking herself at home. While in a particular bad spell, Jo decided to go to the beach to surf and Jo was caught in a minor car crash herself. She wasn’t injured, but the experience was jarring and Jo’s previous experience with car accidents sent her into an emotional break. 

At the same time, Ghia’ta, niece of Queen Aga’po of the Star Sapphires, arrived on Earth with an agenda. The Star Sapphires had experienced a bit of a moral shift, currently spearheaded by Ghia’ta, after she’d met a human by the name Carol Ferris. Carol had been inducted into the Star Sapphires in order to gain the upper hand on the Green Lantern, Hal Jordan, while he found himself on the Sapphire’s homeplanet of Zamarron. But Carol had resisted the Sapphires’ urging and instead gave Ghia’ta an alternate view of what love was, selfless and kind. Moved by Carol’s insight, Ghia’ta began to try to teach the other Sapphires this new view. She was met by rebuttal and while she continued to fight for reform, she knew doing so alone wasn’t going to get her far. 

She’d come to Earth in search for a new Sapphire that could better follow Ghia’ta’s new outlook, as Carol chose not to join the Corps and Ghia’ta had gotten word of Earth’s Lanterns being of a special crop. What she came across was Jo, stranded and crying on the side of the road. Initially Ghia’ta approached her to see if she could be of any help, but to her surprise, her ring detected Jo’s broken heart. Jo’s loss of her brother and friend left a deep hole in her heart and Ghia’ta discovered that this was caused by the love stripped away from her. Sapphires, Ghia’ta included, believed true love to be inherently romantic, but while looking into Jo’s heart she found her love for her brother and friend to be just as true as any. Overjoyed at this realization, she decided to choose Jo as her new champion. 

Jo was thrown for a loop. First by the appearance of this stranger who showed herself to be an alien who’d somehow read into why she felt the way she did, then by her request to join her galactic love brigade. Still Ghia’ta’s ring called out to her and the more she explained the situation of the Sapphires, the more Jo felt a sense of duty. Jo had never been the kind to turn down an opportunity to help, even if the road sounded steep, and so she accepted. 

Jo became the newest member of the Star Sapphire Corps. Her induction was met with heavy scrutiny by the Zamarrons, the leaders of the Sapphire Corps, as she didn’t fit the perimeters in which they chose their new members. In a slight twist, Queen Aga’po allowed Jo to join as a “experiment” partially to show Ghia’ta her claims were being taken seriously and that Aga’po herself was becoming open to her niece’s words. 

Jo still isn’t completely sure what she’s gotten herself into, but plans to make the most with what she was given. And she hopes, if there is an afterlife, that Jack and Emi could be at peace with what they helped aspire. 

 NOTES

For no reason other than personal preference, Lovetap is set on using a surfboard construct as her mode of flight, even during battle. 

Jo is very athletic and a bit of a gym rat, enjoying activities from various sports to yoga. She is also an avid reader and lover of pop culture, reflecting in JJ’s as it doubles as a bookstore as well. She found a fellow Justice League ally with a pop culture store named Charlie Jenson and the two quickly made their store affiliates. 

Jo’s birthday falls on Valentine’s Day and she finds the irony of it funny 

Jo had a hardcore, but thankfully, short-lived, crush on Guy Gardner. It’s a secret she’ll take to the grave. 

Jo learned how to play the acoustic guitar because of Emi and plays outside her LA store on nice days, something she eventually teaches her young friend and eventual mentee, Gi Flores. 

Her father was a gourmet chef and much of what he knew he taught his children, Jo is a wicked cook, but is often too lazy to get creative with her dishes. 

#meet the ocs #gar's oc #gar's art #young justice oc #oc #lantern oc #star sapphire oc #i wasn't even expecting to work on her any time soon #but jo possessed me and made me work on her bio in one sitting #it's kinda insane i never really finish bios that quickly

[lavender-hemlock]

Clearing the Air

Good morning darlings, I hope you’ve had a delightful year thus far. 

Honestly no one is, we’re all suffering. The next episode release of 2020 is coming out soon, my bet is on aliens. 

As much as I would like to joke my way through this to make it easier, this won’t be. I have very recently had very serious issues be brought to my attention as to how someone in this community behaves. At first I was going to keep quiet because in the end- this was my friend. I care so much about the sake of others, when really I was letting behaviors go that are unacceptable. 

I believe the power of a callout post should be used seriously, and never be used for personal abuse of power. A lot of the examples I use will be from my point, and it is personal. He is very aware how stressed and tired I have been, so to treat me this way was unwarranted. 

I have only decided to step forward due to more than one girl stepping forward about these behaviors that are detailed in the list below. This post is for awareness of his behaviors, and his ideals on rape. 

I also do not appreciate being spoken badly of RECENTLY only to have a heart to heart with another girl on the lies being told so that we would not speak to each other (This is referenced below under the list of points.) 

-- The accused is Kazex Voss. Every line in this post has screens embedded for evidence and clarity.

_______________________________________________________________

Here is the list of what he is being held accountable of. I am not the sole subject of the below, and I am also not the subject of one or two of them: Screens are linked for evidence, if a screen is more important to note- it is bolded or posted. Screens are `mostly` in order under their number for subject. 

*The way I have used male and female is how he kept describing gender. 

1. Using personal trauma as a plot device. 

Ex. rape. Writing rape plot to someone who is confirmed to be a victim of traumatic events pertaining to rape and abuse [Scrn Link]. 

- Excusing using rape as a plot device to have “females” overcome their trauma [Scrn Link].

- Another screen of him describing his point of view as a “male” compared to “females.” In here, he addresses my question head on by describing he does not understand because he is “male.” [Scrn Link].

- Another screen of the problem of his “rape therapy” villain. Me asking him directly if he does this to other girls. 1st opportunity to be honest because I already knew the truth. [Scrn Link] (related to the below)

- (related to the above) Next day where I confronted him 1 more time to be honest with me if he does this to other women. Evidence of him doing this to other women, lying, and then agreeing [Scrn Link]. 

- Him saying, “In real life rape is wrong, but are you going to tell me what to write? [Scrn Link]

- More context.

2.  Manipulation.  

 Lying to two people and turning them against one another to hide his secrets and lies so that neither question the other about the subject’s habits.

- Claiming I’m perfect in order to switch blame despite me addressing him on the subject of his rape RP and his bias against how fast I respond to him. 

[Scrn Link]

-  Abusing guilt tactics to encourage more for what he wants out of a “friendship”. You don’t treat friends like this. There are "standards” you can have for a friend, but you don’t use it like this. [Scrn Link.]

- Justification as if I am the one who has let him down for him writing a book. Addressing past issues I kept personal because it did not merit a callout. 

[Scrn Link.]

- how the fight started, more behaviors. To which this inspired my main issue (Point 1, and Point 4.) Notice how this went from me bringing up an issue of rape, and behaviors, to suddenly I’m in the wrong. [Scrn Link].

- Justification for belittling someone, plus context of “he knows what kind of person he is” so he didn’t need to claim anything I questioned or accused him on. [Scrn Link]. 

-- Acknowledged he was gas lighting throughout our argument. Dismissive.

[Scrn Link].

3. Belitting someone over their content, ideas, or writing to make them feel inadequate. 

-- From the other girl who addressed me today, the same that told me I “disliked her” as addressed below. 

2 & 3: have been used to isolate another girl and keep her from approaching others, or myself. Either because I am one way or the other. It has also been confirmed by both girls (the one experiencing rape plot as well), and then the other girl that was isolated have both expressed they were told to keep their ships secret. Even as far as telling one of the girls to take down their screens they took together with the excuse that she could “post them later at the right time.” 

4.  Taking IC to OOC and blurring the two together. 

5. Encouraging poor behavior to pander to his wants by comforting, nurturing depression/discouraging any “toxic” behavior such as boldness or growth of a spine to tell him when something is not okay. 

-- One of the latter screens: probably an important summary of my entire issue that me doing this post, or even making an issue with him was never about just ME. Posted as an image since I feel it expresses the ENTIRE post.

----- To end this discussion of points and evidence, I will address that he did apologize, but evidently this is not being taken seriously since as of last week to today, I am being lied about by him. I will refuse to accept that treatment in case there is anymore confusion of my character. 

_____________________________________________________________

This is an awareness that no matter how much you can know about someone- you don’t. Lies are just pretty words to be used to get their way, and when questioned, this subject will ask that you don’t ask why they lied in the first place. 

I am by no means a perfect person. I have been depressing, stressed, or confused when told that everything is fine- and its not. Nothing he ever told me was ok, or just a mistake and he’s “sorry”.

Why did I come forward now? Why not when I found out another girl like the dates of the screens? 

This is an open inquiry that if you have been told that I dislike you without a probable cause for me to dislike you, please reach out to me. I have recently been confronted by one of the girls in an open discussion that she was informed that I did not like her by Kazex. 

I was confused by this, because while I was adverse to talking to her because of the things he told me- I didn’t hate her like she thought I did. 

We talked and lined up our facts- and we were both told things to make the other question ever speaking to each other. He told her to secretly ship, and he told me that she was this flaky person so we both wouldn’t question the other or speak.

Let this not happen again. 

Love your fellow gamer. Please take other’s judgement as a grain of salt rather than fact (unless proven otherwise based on your own judgement), because everyone has an opinion. We’re all one community, and it is people like this that seek to isolate you or keep ships “secret” so that their target does not think there is competition. 

I was led to believe that no matter what, he would always try to ship with Haine because she was the only ship he wanted. This was not what I wanted or the case, and neither did it work to flatter me. I don’t understand everything that was shown to me, but I refuse to be held accountable for not saving someone else the trouble when this is actively happening. 

I hate doing this. I hate that among everything I ever stood for, stood with others for, that I have to call out someone I used to think the world of with many of our adventures for the eyes to see. 

Let this be the wake up call he desperately needed. It’s not okay to treat women like this. It’s not okay to turn people against each other because females “can’t co-exist.” This is not RP, this is not art, and this is harmful. I’m sorry to anyone else who may be keeping quiet, among those who have come towards me to talk it out. 

There are many more screens, much more context, and evidence. I tried to keep this as un-biased and relevant as possible to keep the points clear with context to support so that others are aware that this is how he is. 

Let this post be an awareness that this behavior is not okay. Let it be a warning and a consideration on how you treat others. Let others see how you can be, and change. You’re capable of being better, as I can also improve, because I am in no way a perfect person. 

Thank you to those that have come forward and spoken to me. 

#discourse #tw: rape #tw: abuse #long post #ooc #here is one big post so its not multiple reblogs of added on stuff

[straightfacedstrangeness]

Not that anyone asked (but seriously I’d LOVE for someone to talk to me about PokeSpe (just no spoilers past vol 13)) but since I made an offhand remark about my Top 5 favorite characters, it occurred to me that I actually DO have approximately 5 top favorite characters, and I’m procrastinating on work, so I’m gonna ramble

**just in case, note that a lot of this will revolve around my childhood experience with gender in a “I’m AFAB (and present-day me still identifies as a cis girl) but I don’t fit in with what media is telling me girls are like” way, a brief childhood feeling of homophobia, and probably general TMI about my opinions and emotions throughout my life, haha

1. Yellow

Okay, so, I was a little kid when Pokemon Adventures started coming out in English, back when manga was released as single-issue monthly comic books instead of complete volumes.  So I was rereading the same chapters over and over while anxiously awaiting the rest of the story (and wound up missing a bunch of issues anyway)

I enjoyed the RGB arc, I thought it was fun, but I didn’t LOVE the series until Yellow showed up.  At that age my ideal crush was “a cute boy my age who would be nice to me” and Yellow was presented to the reader as a cute boy my age who was sweet and kind and gentle, but also good in a fight, as all shounen protags must be.  Extra bonus points because they had just a few physically weak Pokémon and tried to fight battles in a way that minimized damage to their own and the opponent’s Pokémon, which meant they fought in a particularly smart and clever way.  And I was considered “smart” for being good at school, so being a SMART cute “boy” my age who would be nice to me, Yellow was PERFECT.  I mean, I loved the arc in general because of the clever battles, and the mystery of what had happened to Red, why these people were after Pikachu, why Yellow was so secretive about themself and their mission, etc was really engaging.  But also I adored Yellow as a character and partly in a “I wonder if ‘he’ would like me??” kind of way X’D  So to my tiny child self who didn’t even know it was possible to like-like someone of the same gender (because I hadn’t read Cardcaptor Sakura yet XD ), the reveal that Yellow was a “girl” was devastating—I had to cross out floating hearts on at least one drawing of us holding hands (scandalous!) and, while kind of stunned and shaken for a while, decided that what I’d felt all along was a deep, intense desire to be friends X’D (which probably wasn’t too far from the truth since I was pre-puberty and later turned out to be asexual)

(Also note that I never got the RGB issue that had the chapter where Red helps a little ‘girl’ capture a Rattata—later proven to be Yellow’s backstory—so the gender reveal really came out of nowhere for me.)

But anyways, I still love Yellow as a character for all the above reasons, without the crush aspects because I’m way older than them now.

Also when I reread the series ten years ago, I finally realized “wait, aside from surprising the reader, there’s no real plot reason for Yellow to pretend to be a ‘boy’ except that Green told ‘her’ to—so why did ‘she’ do it?”...and because at that time I didn’t even know that nonbinary genders existed, I decided it was cus they had low self-esteem and pretending to be a different person gave them courage (the same reading I had for Mulan at the time).  These days I’m more inclined to “yeah, I think Yellow’s nonbinary,” but that other interpretation was deeply relatable to me and only made me love Yellow even more.

2. Bill

Bill’s definitely a character I’ve grown to love more as an adult, since I’ve gone from seeing myself as “a protagonist doing cool things” to “a side character just living their life who hopefully gets to do something once in a while.”  But as a kid and now, I like him mostly for the slapstick and goofy expressions and the (early chapters Viz translations) outrageous accent  X’D  My brain desperately craves endorphins and the best way to get em is through a good laugh.

But also, I liked that he was introduced as a goofy character-of-the-week who got into ridiculous trouble and had to be rescued, but then kept being brought back, was slowly built up to be the “smart sidekick who explains things,” and eventually got to the point where he was participating in big battles (the Yellow finale on Cerise Island).  I rambled about this in the tags of another post, but I liked that he was a character who was “weak” without being “useless.”  As a kid who was good at school, I was obsessed with being good at things and had developed a black-and-white view of the world where either you were “strong/smart” or “weak/stupid” to the point that failing or just being not-so-good at anything was devastating (it still kind of is), because that meant I was actually “weak/stupid” when I was supposed to be “strong/smart.”  So it was kind of awesome that this guy who kept getting into trouble and having to be rescued—and didn’t even want to BE part of the final battle—managed to hold his own and get through it and help out instead of being a burden that dragged everyone down.  Seriously, he used a MAGIKARP effectively—the Pokémon everyone makes fun of for being “useless” and he used its one attack to save his life!

(Bonus points for all this happening in contrast to my devastating childhood experience of stanning The One Girl Character in every popular shounen series, waiting desperately for her to get to do something in battle, and then her one spotlight episode revolved around her struggling because she was so weak...not only was that actually happening to a boy for once, it was actually happening in a more satisfying/empowering way :’D )

3. Gold

I have extremely specific tastes when it comes to “the dumb shounen/action movie protag,” because as a kid I hated it when the main character was “dumb” because I was “smart” (re: good at school) and people who were “dumb” shouldn’t deserve to be the main character and have all the cool powers and save the world and stuff.  As an adult, I hate it when male characters are dumb and/or jerks but it’s treated as fine or even sexy(??) and the other characters fawn over them, and I generally still kind of hate it when characters who are dumb and/or jerks get the big important role when there’s a female character RIGHT THERE who’s more competent (and OF COURSE she has to wind up falling in love with him)

But anyway, I have extremely specific tastes, and Gold is it  X’D  He’s the perfect combination of “unshakably confident in his own stupid/egotistic views” and “treated as annoying and/or comic relief by the rest of the cast” with a bonus dash of actually being really clever in battle (so my inner child goes “Ah yes, technically, he is ’smart,’ and therefore...worthwhile“)  Making me laugh while also impressing me is like the key to my heart.

4. Crystal

I’m too lazy to look it up, but when Viz was publishing Pokemon Adventures as monthly comics, they must have switched to publishing it as trade paperbacks only and/or had a huge gap between the end of Yellow and the start of GSC, because for YEARS I’d thought Yellow was the end of the series and was shocked the first time I saw later volumes.  (My dad was buying us the monthly issues at the local comic store, and either they wouldn’t have ordered the trade paperbacks or he wouldn’t have thought to check those shelves.)

Anyway, that’s a long lead-in to the statement of “Crystal would automatically be my #1 or #2 if I’d read her arc as a kid.”  She’s a girl, she wears pants, she’s EXTREMELY smart (genius-level “book-smarts” about every Pokémon’s behaviors and weaknesses PLUS being clever in a battle), was tough as nails (she KICKED her Pokéballs!!), had no interest in romance or her appearance, AND had a short arc about losing her confidence and training herself back up to full power.  I would have KILLED for a character like that when I was a little girl being told that “girls don’t like action shows like Dragon Ball Z” (but I was a girl and I did???) and that girls were supposed to be pretty and obsessed with fashion and dating, and that girls were never the main character of action series, just side characters who either did nothing or got one chance to do something and were pathetically weak (see above, and/or Sakura’s fight against Ino (Naruto), those couple filler eps where Téa/Anzu played Duel Monsters (Yu-Gi-Oh), Videl getting pummeled by Spopovich (DBZ), etc).

So anyway, she’s awesome, she’s exactly the type of character I would’ve loved as a kid.  The only reason she’s behind Gold here is because at my age, “makes me laugh” > “the kind of main character I used to wish I could be”

5. Green (the girl trainer...I’m just too loyal to the Viz version to call her “Blue”...)

I’m trying not to rehash the same “I’m a girl but none of the girls in my shows/comics are like me!” childhood woes over and over, haha, but as much as I always enjoyed Green for being extremely clever and outsmarting the boys and being funny when she did so, she always lost points with me for being “pretty” and flirting to get her way, because that put her in the box of “girls are supposed to be pretty and desired by boys and obsessed with their appearance and romance” that was so foreign and disheartening to me as a kid.

But her staredown with Ho-oh at the end of the GSC arc TOTALLY got me.  As a sad adult with anxiety, watching characters who are absolutely terrified overcome their fear, watching characters who are completely beaten down struggle back to their feet and keep fighting, is like my ultimate power fantasy.  That sequence genuinely had me in tears.

Also her bond with Silver is super precious, especially since that’s like the first time in the series we’ve seen her be genuinely emotional and vulnerable with someone instead of teasing or manipulating them.

Honorable mention: Sapphire

I haven’t gotten up to R/S in my reread yet, and I only read that arc once over like a weekend ten years ago, but I’m pretty sure she’s gonna be a Top Fave cus again there’s that “I'm not like other girls!” childhood feel  (last time I’m saying it, I promise)

It’s a story arc where one protag wants to fight the gyms and the other protag wants to win the beauty contests, but the one who wants to fight the gyms is the girl!!  And she’s the typical “dumb but extremely good at fighting” shounen protag but she’s the girl!!  She’s feral and illiterate and a total tomboy and wins all her fights and she’s a GIRL!!!!

--

Anyway, those are my kids and my dude and my probably way-too-personal reasons why.  If you wanna reblog, reply, or send an ask about your own faves...please

#pokemon adventures #rambling #crackpotawesomes #spent like an hour and a half on this oops

[coochiequeens]

When, in June 2020, J.K. Rowling revealed her experience with domestic abuse and sexual assault,[1] it triggered an epiphany in me. We shared something – something dark that haunts us, changes us. How many other gender-critical feminists, I wondered, are also survivors of abuse or trauma? How many of us have spent countless nights awake, replaying horrific experiences in our heads, wishing we had done something different and resolving to ourselves that, if we are unable do something to erase our own past, we should at least do something to keep the same from happening to others, especially those younger than ourselves? Evolutionary adaptation teaches us both to recognize and mitigate threats, even as they become more nuanced over the centuries. After repeated traumas we, as survivors, instinctively become hyper-vigilant. We would not survive if we were to somehow forget (as if our very DNA would let us) that the primary threat to natal women, is and always has been, male. So, when an ideology emerges that increases risk to women and children alike, using psychological warfare against us to impose its doctrine, we must speak up. But those who do speak up are silenced at every turn so that the general public does not hear our dissenting voices, our warning cries to other women. Any movement that oppresses women’s voices can only be one thing – a male rights movement. Oppression and abuse enable one another, but through identifying our latest shackles of oppression and exposing them for their true nature, we may hope to overcome them.

“The trans-patriarchy is a system of oppression used by trans-identified males to dominate and oppress female-born women. “– Simone XX

Through a litany of tactics, including psychological warfare, politicians and lawmakers alike have become convinced not only to deny women the right to express what is based on our natural primal fears, developed over thousands of years of genetic and cultural evolution, and backed by statistical evidence, but even to begin criminalizing public expression of those fears, through Scotland’s Gender Recognition Act and Hate Crime Bill, whereby feminist Marion Millar was recently charged with “Malicious Communication”,[2] and through Canada’s proposed Bill C-10,[3] which will restrict Freedom of Expression in the media.

How did we get to this regressive point?! What follows is a list of tactical devices used as psychological warfare, tailored precisely to render the oppression of women, through an existential threat to feminism by trans-identified males:

1 Appropriation: the act of taking something for your own use, usually without permission

2 Forced Teaming:the projection of a shared purpose or experience where none exists

3 Gaslighting: to manipulate another person into doubting his or her perceptions, experiences, or understanding of events

4 Silencing: to prevent someone from expressing their views or from criticizing or opposing someone

5 False Equivalence: a logical fallacy in which an equivalence is drawn between two subjects based on flawed or false reasoning (example: misgendering is violence)

6 Vilification: the act of saying or writing unpleasant things about someone or something, in order to cause other people to have a bad opinion of them

7 Indoctrination: the process of teaching a person or group to accept a set of beliefs uncritically

8Propaganda: information, especially of a biased or misleading nature, used to promote or publicize a particular political cause or point of view

9 Grooming: when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a young child so that they can manipulate, exploit and/or abuse them

10 Intimidation: to make timid or fearful; to compel or deter by, or as if by, threats

11 Suing: to initiate or pursue legal proceedings against; bring suit

12 Victim Reversal: the typical gaslighting response people give when they are accused of bad behavior

13 Shaming: the act of subjecting someone to shame, disgrace, humiliation, or disrepute especially by public exposure or criticism (see “public humiliation”)

14 Compelling: to force or drive, especially to a course of action; to secure or bring about by force; to force to submit; to overpower

15 Entryism: the process or policy of members of a political group joining another party or group with the intention, often secret, of changing its principles and plans

16 Demoralization: the process of making someone lose confidence, enthusiasm and hope

The transpatriarchy is clearly employing these and other soft skills to oppress women. But many of us have learned to recognize these devices of psychological warfare through personal experience on an individual basis – the only major difference is that they are now being used on a mass scale. We are being appropriated and force-teamed by our natural enemy, and then silenced when we object. Meanwhile, our children are being indoctrinated and groomed through a process of normalization that leaves them more vulnerable to exploitation than ever before. And, our politicians are being gaslit, shamed, and compelled to virtue-signal away the women’s rights that our sisters of past generations fought so fiercely to attain. “The history of silencing women is violent. And we feel that in our DNA. On a cellular level we know what it costs to speak our truth.” – Deborah Kampmeier (filmmaker)

The transpatriarchy wants us to give up and to live according to their rules, their laws, crushed under the weight of their size-12 heels. Though women have been groomed since birth not to recognize our collective power, lest we become a threat to the patriarchy, together we are an army of sisters. Though we are being strategically colonized and may feel demoralized at times, remember that we are survivors! We will continue to evolve our in our resistance and adaptation to threats. We must recognize our power, because together, our best hope for sex-based equality and liberty in the face of our 21st century oppression, is to maintain our collective resilience.  And that begins by understanding our enemy’s game.

#Trans cult #appropriation #forced teaming #Gaslighting #silencing #false equivalence #vilification #Indoctrination #propaganda #grooming #intimidation #suing #Victim reversal #shaming #compelling #entryism #Demoralization

[chaoticspacefam]

OC Music Meme

I was tagged by @raven-of-domain-kwaad​ , thank you! :D I shall tag (no pressure as always, only if you want to!): @mercurypilgrim​ , @mimabeann, @rainofaugustsith​ , @thelastenvoyyy​ , @a-master-procrastinator and anyone else who wants to do this one, yes, I promise I mean you!

Yaaay another music meme, I LOVE these, as any of my long-term followers/mutuals probably know :P Oh no, Raven what have you done! 🤣🤣

        List one or more songs that relate to the following

*drags Rai and her three consecutive playlists full of songs in here and plops her down proudly* Now I’m not joking when I say combined her three playlists would run for ~10 hrs if I played them all back-to-back. Sooooo for that reason I will be trying to restrict myself to 3-4 songs per “question”, except for the last one which is annotated with an explanation there, ANYWAYS!

reminds you of them most:

Down To The Bottom - Dorothy :: This is a very new one to her playlist (discovered a few days ago), but it still vibes so well with Saarai’s attitude to love, and her need to have some sort of emotional closeness to other people, to love and be loved, or else she just doesn’t function quite right

Up The Wolves - The Mountain Goats :: This was one of Rai’s first EVER theme songs that made it onto her list as I gave the Ahaszaai the backstory that led to them becoming main characters, so it feels only right that I include it here. To me it perfectly sums up her character progression, from a frightened young woman with a lot of skeletons in her closet and no willingness to be a commander of anything or confidence that she could, to a strong and dedicated leader willing to do whatever it takes to protect the people she works with, and make sure that the person who once took it from her family will suffer the righteous justice he deserves for his actions. Oddly enough, Saarai never goes back to take over the Sith Empire as D’leah planned (in Subterfugeverse anyways), they do eventually “come home” and build something of their own with the other members of the Alliance <3 

Bruno Is Orange - Hop Along :: This song is very important too. It makes me feel a lot of things and as I developed more of Saarai’s backstory and began tying everything together, it became an essential part of her backstory. This is 100% a “Saarai Song” in my brain (and I’ve had the script for that meme planned out for over a year, I’ll get to it soon :3), summing up the chaos and her own feelings on what happened with Tsâhis (and her mother and sister’s reactions to finding out about what happened, and Ty, the baby which resulted from that clusterfuck of a relationship)

Someone New - Hozier :: Kinda supplements “Down To The Bottom”, Saarai was a character who puzzled me sexuality-wise for a long time, she has a lot to unpack and a lot of nuances in her attractions, and for a long time (because it is the default for modern media) I tried to shove her in the monogamy box, except...that doesn’t work for Saarai LMAO. I remembered this song existed one day (I think it came up on Youtube shuffle or something) and it was the lightbulb that went on in my head that finally clicked and told me she was actually polyam as well (though ironically I forgot to actually put it in her playlist until @darth-bagel reminded me it existed again a few months ago LOL).

reminds another character of them:

All The Pretty Girls - KALEO :: (Sash - Zephyrverse AU) This one had a few options too, but I think this is the best song that Sash would associate with Saarai. Their relationship was slow burn, although there was near-immediate attraction there, Sash struggled with self-doubt and her own insecurities for a long time, firmly believing that Saarai would get bored of waiting for her to be “ready” to take things further and explore other options (she didn’t. They’ve been married something like 20+, nearing 30 years now, you’re stuck with her sweetie <3)

The Last of the Real Ones - Fall Out Boy :: (Lana - Subterfugeverse) “I know this whole damn city thinks it needs you, but not as much as I do.”  Lana wasn’t looking for Saarai when she found her, but Lana wouldn’t have it any other way. Though Lana is a big pillar of support for Saarai, and Saarai in turn is the social “glue” that holds the Alliance together, what many people don’t realise is that the feeling is mutual and Lana relies upon her just as much. Saarai’s dependable, and trustworthy, even if sometimes she makes Lana want to roll her eyes into the ceiling because of her antics, she wouldn’t want to change her for anything, it’s that part of Saarai that she secretly loves the most because it reminds Lana that it’s okay to unwind and have fun or be silly every once in a while, especially with the people you love.

Shut Up And Dance - WALK THE MOON :: (Koth - Subterfugeverse) Koth’s relationship with Saarai took a lot longer to develop into something openly romantic because Saarai had a lot of stuff to work through before she could accept her own feelings for him, but the cantina party at the end of KOTFE was the moment that Koth realised she was comfortable with him, because it’s the first time she really opened up to him, the first time she asked him to do anything together, and the first time she didn’t flinch or jump away from him when he touched her.

reminds you of a relationship of theirs, doesn’t have to be romantic, can be paternal, friendly etc.: I’m taking that as an invitiation to do a song for each of the main ones of any kind and that means this one has like six songs because...Saarai has a lot of influencial relationships in her character arc, I’m sorry (but not really) :’)

Broken Crown - Mumford & Sons :: Saarai & D’leah (Familial, It’s Complicated). This one is probably gonna be the “controversial” song of this post but you know what I’m gonna do it anyway. Saarai and D’leah have a very complicated relationship, because on the one hand Saarai does love her mother very much in spite of the horrible things she said and did, and on the other...the last thing that she wants is to turn out like her. And sometimes, sometimes you gotta call your mom out on her toxic shit. Hey Brother - Aviici :: Saarai & Ni’kasi (Familial Love). “What if I lose it all? Oh sister, I will help you out. Oh, if the sky comes falling down, for you...there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do.” The “brother” part does not apply to the twins, gender-wise, but the essence of this song is undoubtedly Saarai & Ni’kasi’s relationship. When Saarai thought she had no-one else, Ni’kasi was there to pick up the pieces and get her back onto her feet. They’re ride or die till the very end, wherever Saarai leads, she knows Ni’kasi will follow her.

Son of A Gun - Lord Huron :: Saarai & Tsâhis (Romantic ”Love”, though I’mma be very clear here that he was a manipulative abusive asshole, but Saarai loved him so...quotation marks. Y’get it yeah? Good.) “Well she fell in love with that son of a gun, but he was not the man that she took him for.”  This line in particular sums it up. Saarai was young, naive and a perfect target for someone like Tsâhis to take advantage of because she didn’t know any better and believed him when he said he “loved her”, only for him to pull the rug out from under her feet later on. (he got his tho, don’t worry 😈)

Youth - Glass Animals :: Saarai & Tyûk (Maternal Love). This is the closest I can find to a song that sums up their relationship, I have a lot of thoughts about it but there are very few songs (that I’ve found) that touch upon the essence of Saarai & Ty’s relationship. D’leah chose to blame Ty for his father’s actions, Saarai chose the opposite. She chose to love him in spite of what his father had done to her, and to make sure he grew up feeling safe, loved, and learnt to be better than that.

Curses - The Crane Wives :: Saarai/Sash (Romantic Love) Both Saarai and Sash have had difficult pasts, with a lot of emotional trauma, and they both had hurdles they had to overcome in order for their relationship to truly work and stay healthy. But with each others’ support, they’ve managed it and are all the closer for it. If you asked either of them where “home” was, they’d say the other’s name.

Sorry I Stole Your Girlfriend - Stereo Skyline :: Saarai/Lana/Koth (Romantic Love). Okay, I really really wanted to pick a more serious song from their playlist for them, BUT....this song is the song that started this ship in my brain so here we are. LMAO  Originally, this popped into my brain as an idea of  Saarai’s response to Koth’s attempt at getting between them in that scene of KOTFE on the Gravestone. Koth and Saarai’s moral compasses are very similar and I wanted them to sit down and have a proper, healthy discussion about their feelings instead of becoming enemies and sort of agreeing not to hold a grudge against each other, though I didn’t expect for that piece to get away from me and for Saarai to end up developing feelings for Koth too, I can’t say I’m unhappy with it. I love them and I will fight anyone who tells me I can’t make them an OT3, I can, I will, and I have. >:) (Healthy Polyam Good, Love Triangles Are Fucking Stupid (tm). No I am not taking criticism on this lmao) Though Saarai & Koth’s relationship isn’t sexual in any way, they love each other just as much as they love Lana, just express it differently. So even though the snideness of this song doesn’t really apply to them, I kept it in their playlist and it also became their ship name because it was too good to pass up, though “Stole” is in inverted commas as it’s definitely more of an inside joke between the three of them than actually seriously accusing them of stealing each others’ girlfriend. 🤣 (as always, Saarai & Koth thinks it’s hilarious, Lana rolls her eyes at the stupid pun but also secretly thinks it’s funny as hell)

#swtor #star wars: the old republic #swtor OCs #tagged meme #OC music meme #swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai #sith pureblood #the outlander #LS! eternal empress #subterfugeverse #ot3: sorry i ''stole'' your girlfriend #saarai/lana/koth #saarai x tsâhis #zephyrverse au #saarai/sash #the ahaszaai twins #the sith twins #yes i have written down a lot of stuff regarding the ot3's relationship and how it developed etc #one day i will throw them out into the world when i feel like they're ready #but they're not ready yet so sorry y'all you gotta wait #but trust me when i say this is very elaborately planned out #LMAO #[banging pots and pans] they're. poly. and. in. love. fucking. deal. with. it. or. leave #my ships my rules #complicated mother daughter relationships are complicated #projection? i don't know her #no sir #tw: manipulation #tw: abusive relationship

[daanny2772]

FFXIV Dark Knight Level 35 Job Quest Fan Translation

Due to the differences between Fray Myste portrayed in the Japanese and English versions, I have decided to translate a number of the Dark Knight story quests from Japanese. I am by no means proficient in the language and ask that you forgive me for any incorrect translations. Please do let me know so that I am able to fix the mistakes. That being said, there are liberties I have taken due to the structure of the two languages being significantly different. Thank you for keeping this in mind.

Tumblr user haillenarte has also translated the level 45 and 50 quests along time ago. Go check it out if you haven't yet! https://haillenarte.tumblr.com/tagged/fray

I have recorded and subbed a video of my WOL going through the DRK quests below. I’m sorry that the lvl 35 one had to be split into two, but the future ones I’m working on subbing should not have that problem (hopefully...)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnP6yVSIHpE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG0IBvqNdIg 

I’ve taken the Japanese lines from https://alnoumin.exblog.jp/24252515/ and have left the name of their WOL in the Japanese lines.

Guided by a Shriek 

Fray seems to be waiting in the Brume for the adventurer to visit.

***

Fray: We meet again, Nyxahk.  Well then, I will be teaching you everything within the extent of my memories about the Dark Knight.

...But before that, is there anything you’re still curious regarding what happened before the conflict involving the young lady?

The mystery that remains is …?

I wonder how that grandmother is doing?

...Huh? Ah, um… That’s right… I think she’ll be alright as long as she’s with that Miss.

But-- there should be something more puzzling than that! Jeez, you’re truly-- (*unbelievable) 

Fray’s charges

フレイ：あれ……言いませんでしたっけ、無実の罪だって。えっ？　もっと詳しく？う、ううん……思い出すので、ちょっと待ってくださいね。

Huh… Now that I think about it, I didn’t say that I was falsely accused. Eh? You want more details? Hm… please wait a little as I try to recall the events.

...Right, right. An innocent woman was being chased by the Templar Knights. As I was protecting her, I was charged with a made up crime. Really, it’s all because I trying to be nice...

But more importantly, isn’t there anything about yourself that you’re curious about?

About the Voice I heard at the beginning

Yes, that’s exactly it. When you first touched my Soul Stone, you heard someone’s Voice in anguish, correct?

You were intrigued by what that voice could have been… It’s possible it was the voice of “a certain someone you must protect” somewhere in this world.

The Dark Knights of the past have believed in protecting the weak, in the way that you should be bonded with this certain someone. ...Were you to turn a blind eye to this person, you would be a failure as a Dark Knight.

In order for you to become a Dark Knight for this certain person, lets confirm the true intents of their Voice. If you can come to wield even stronger Darkness, you may be able to hear that voice again.

In order to obtain even stronger Darkness, a special rite (communion) is required. I have yet to choose a location for the rite… but with the conflict from the other day still fresh, we may get interrupted if we were to remain in Ishgard.

 Let’s head out on a trip. I’ll be waiting for you at Little Ala Mhigo in South Thanalan.

***

Fray: Ah, it’s great we were able to meet up. Without further ado, I’ll explain the details of this rite to obtain further powers of Darkness.

As long as you have my power, we may begin this rite at any time. However, to receive the power of Darkness is the same as awakening the repressed negative emotions within you.

Therefore, if someone who is not strong enough took on the rite, they would be overcome with those repressed emotions and be killed by the power.

In order to avoid that, you must show me the extents of your ability as a Dark Knight before the rite is to happen.

The best way for me to see your true strength is for you to defeat a strong enemy… Let’s go ask the leader of the village to see if there is a suitable opponent or not.

***

Gundobald: Oh, it’s the adventurer. Though we were unable to prepare a reception, we welcome your return. What business do you have here today?

...I see. You require a strong enemy to test the bounds of your strength.

There is one thing on my mind. Just the north of here at the Red Labyrinth, there have been appearances of ferocious Crag Bite Peistes. 

Their strike is strong, and have even injured many fellow beasts raised in this dangerous region.

Fray: That does seem to be a suitable opponent. The main point of fighting as a Dark Knight is to endure the enemy’s powerful attacks while continuing to attack. ...How will we be able to meet this enemy?

Gundobald: That thing seems to be attracted to the smell of goat breast meat brought by the merchants from Minotaur Malm. In order to draw it out, here is the meat I spoke of.

Though this land is poor, I would like to repay what you’ve done for us, even if it’s just a little.

But still, I  am glad to see this. You’ve brought a friend along, and you’re even relying on us...Hm… You say you’ve only just met this person?

For some reason, you two give off the impression of partners having travelled together for a long time, or that of friends bond strongly to one another… Was it just my imagination?

Fray: ...Nyxakh, it’s about time we get going.

***

Fray: Please show me the true extents of your power as a Dark Knight here. Please defeat the Crag Bite Peistes lured by the goat breast meat we placed. 

It seems the attacks from your enemies will be strong. While keeping your injuries to the least amount possible, attacking when you see the gaps in their defenses should lead you to your victory.

…Then without further ado, commence the battle!

***

Fray: Well done Nyxakh. It seems you have improved your skills from last time.

Though the duty of a Dark Knight is to protect, it does not mean thoughtlessly taking on attacks, nor that defeat means losing everything you have.

If you truly wish to protect that which is important to you, determining the movements of your enemy and keeping your injuries within limits are both essential. And how to use the powers of Darkness is also a part of it, right?

There should be no problems for us to carry out the ritual like this. For now, let’s return to the outskirts of Little Ala Mhigo. We wouldn’t want to be distrubed by any beasts attracted by the leftover meat. 

***

Fray: Without further ado, for you to obtain further powers of Darkness, I will carry out the ritual.

Even though it’s called a ritual, it’s nothing difficult. Simply hold your hand out to mine and close your eyes to concentrate. Your emotions will naturally overflow, and the power should well up alongside it.

It would be good if you can hear that certain someone’s voice again… Anyway, if your heart is ready, then please go ahead and give it a shot.

 ***

As you are thinking that your chest feels like it’s on fire, the Voice rings through your head...

???: ...It hurts… It’s painful… Everything… is hopeless...

How many more challenges must I go through to see hope? It’s as if I’m fighting a battle without end...

For what reason do I continue to stand up…? For what reason do I continue to fight? It hurts, it hurts, it’s getting harder to breathe.... Ah, someone....

***

Fray: ...How was it, Nyxahk? It seems that the rite was a success… Were you able to hear the Voice?

Though you were able to hear it, you still do not know their identity…?

But at the very least, it seems that my conjecture was correct. Somewhere in the world, there is a weak person you must protect, their voice connected to you by the powers of the Darkness.

I don’t know how much of the power of Darkness we will need in order to find out the identity of that Voice. But even so, there exists someone only you can protect.

If the voice you heard was able to reach your heart even a little, I think that’s the path you should continue down. Am I wrong, Nyxakh Nemophila?

What a relief… As I expected, you’re kind as well as strong. That certain person to be protected by a Dark Knight like you will surely be blessed with happiness.

To be honest, I travelled with someone similar to you a long time ago. Without any reason, we stepped out into the vast world, our hearts trembling at everything and anything… it was that kind of journey, you see.

But… yes, it was around this place, they defeated a terrible threat and became a hero.

...But being a hero isn’t all that great, you know? Being manipulated by all sorts of things, only saving up a pile of injuries, eventually even becoming unable to see yourself...

And like that, they drifted away from me, until not even my voice was able to reach them.

I don’t want you to lose sight of what’s important to you. If you decide to protect that certain someone, listen carefully to their voice, and please don’t ever avert your eyes from them. 

Then, when you become even stronger, you’ll take on the rite of Darkness again. ...We definitely have to meet up again at the place we first met.

***

t/n:

- Crag Bite Peistes - the english only had it listed as peistes, but the crag bite part is so funny to me because I had and still have no idea what the katakana is referring to so I stuck it in Google Translate. That's what came out and it makes me laugh so I've left it in 

- Jeez, you’re truly-- (*unbelievable) - What Fray says would be close to "People like you--", the unbelievable part is implied. He's pretty much just really exasperated at WOL and it's cute. i love him

- Regarding the person that Fray talks about having gone on an adventure with, their pronouns will change depending on the gender of the character. I've used they for my translations as my WOL uses they.

- the rite Fray talks about is called a communion in Eng which works better imo in the overall scheme of things but i left it as rite here

#ffxiv #ff14 #drk #dark knight #fray #job quest #fan translation

[sugarqvills]

links: pinterest, bio

BASICS

FULL NAME: Emmeline Asteria Vance PRONUNCIATION: Emmeline  Asteria  Vance MEANING: Emmeline ( Germanic - Work; French - Industrious, Hardworking; Latin - Little Rival ), Asteria ( Latin - Star ), Vance ( English - Fen, Marsh ) REASONING: Emmeline’s given name comes from her her paternal grandmother. Her middle name sprung from her mother’s once-great love for Greek mythology. NICKNAME(S): Emme, Vance. BIRTH DATE: 24 December - 12:32 PM AGE: Nineteen ZODIAC: Capricorn Sun, Libra Moon, Aries Rising

Capricorn is the tenth sign of the zodiac and governs the bones, joints, and knees. Positive traits include pragmatism, maturity, patience, determination, awareness, a strong work ethic, realism, discipline, money management, the willingness to overcome hard luck, leadership, initiative, opportunism, prudence, and cunning. Negative traits include pessimism, melancholy, emotional coldness, manipulation, obsession with work and ambitions to the detriment of personal development, remoteness, and materialistic snobbery.

The traits emphasized here will be ambition, determination, discipline, and pragmatism. You can’t make that castle in the sky if you don’t build a solid foundation under it, and Capricorns excel at building foundations. (Actually, they excel at planning the foundations and directing others to do the grunt labour. It’s not that they’re afraid to get their hands dirty, but large work usually requires delegation and a staff, and Capricorns are managers more often than not.) While not flamboyant or showy about it, Capricorns still tend to be obsessive overachievers, a common trait in House Slytherin. Too, wizards born under the sign of Capricorn are good at being discreet, secretive, and diplomatic; whereas the Libra’s diplomacy is based on charm and a desire for harmony, the Capricorn’s diplomacy is based on the knowledge that being on good terms with people is extremely useful in getting one’s way or finding out sensitive information. These also are traits commonly associated with House Slytherin. They might not be sexy traits, but they’re very handy.

GENDER: Cisgender Female PRONOUNS: She/Her ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Panromantic. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Demisexual. NATIONALITY: Irish ETHNICITY: White

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: Athenry, Ireland HOMETOWN: Athenry, Ireland SOCIAL CLASS: Upper Class EDUCATION LEVEL: Hogwarts, sixth year HOUSE: Slytherin FATHER: Oliver Vance, 56, Former Head of the Improper Use of Magic Office ( DECEASED ) MOTHER: Rosalyn Vance neé Rowle, 54, Former Member of the Wizengamot ( DECEASED ) SIBLING(S): None. EXTENDED FAMILY: Constance Vance, 86 ( paternal grandmother ) BIRTH ORDER: Only child. PET(S): Pawcrates - six year old black cat.

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: 6/10 OFFENSE: 8.5/10 DEFENSE: 9/10 SPEED: 8/10 INTELLIGENCE: 9/10 ACCURACY: 9/10 AGILITY: 8/10 STAMINA: 8/10 TEAMWORK: While Emmeline is capable of doing well with a group, she prefers to work on her own. She’ll help where she can, but would far prefer if she were left to her own devices. TALENTS: Dueling. Critical thinking. Planning. Drinking at least one entire bottle of wine by herself in a single sitting. SHORTCOMINGS: Unhealthy coping mechanisms. Emotionally repressive. Doesn’t let others in easily. Negative thinking. LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: English, Irish Gaelic, Latin. DRIVE?: No. JUMP-STAR A CAR?: No. CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: No. RIDE A BICYCLE?: Yes. SWIM?: Yes. PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: The piano, thanks to Gran. PLAY CHESS?: Yes, though she would prefer to spend her free time doing other things. TIE A TIE?: Yes. PICK A LOCK?: No.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Alycia Debnam-Carey. EYE COLOR: Green. HAIR COLOR: Brown. HAIR TYPE/STYLE: Normally, Emmeline leaves her hair down, allowing it to fall however it likes. Frequently, she’s been known to throw her hair into a ponytail or loose, messy bun while working, cleaning, or even knitting. GLASSES/CONTACTS?: No. DOMINANT HAND: Right. Emmeline is ambidextrous, but tends to favour her right hand more often than her left. HEIGHT: 165 cm ( 5′5″ ) WEIGHT: 55 kg ( 121 pounds ) BUILD: Slender. EXERCISE HABITS: Despite knowing that she should do more, Emmeline more often than not spends time at home knitting and drinking, rather than running or doing other exercises. SKIN TONE: Fair. TATTOOS: At present, Emmeline has none. PIERCINGS: Just a single hole in each ear. MARKS/SCARS: Emmeline has a few small scars from her childhood, most notable is the one on her right hand, near the thumb. Most don’t even notice it, unless they know precisely what they’re looking for. USUAL EXPRESSION: Emmeline’s typical expression is one without a smile. To many, she could come across as cold or uncaring; it’s not that she actively tries to dissuade people talking to her, it’s just what happens, especially when she’s focused. Once put around friends, however, the demeanour changes and there are more smile than one might otherwise find. CLOTHING STYLE: Emmeline is a big fan of loose, simple tops or button-ups with more fitted trousers. On very rare or special occasions, she may wear a dress, though it is never anything more than a sold colour with simple accents. In addition to her comfortable tops, Emmeline is also a fan of flannel shirts and heavier, knitted jumpers when it starts to get cold. JEWELRY: Simple silver studs for earrings in her daily life, a small silver music note pendant on a thin silver chain that she got from Gran for her thirteenth birthday. Otherwise, Emmeline isn’t one for jewelry. ALLERGIES: None, as far as she knows.

QUESTIONS

How does your character behave around people they like? Emmeline is more relaxed around those she likes. Though she isn’t the most easy-going person in the world, she is more inclined to make jokes, laugh, and not stress as much as she normally does. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person? As a rule, Emmeline is very hesitant to trust others. However, once you have her trust, there are very few things you could do to lose it and have her suspect you of something terrible. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation? Words are typically Emmeline’s go-to in a confrontational situation. There have been many instances where she’s eventually just walked away from someone rather than allow things to progress. In extreme instances, hexes and jinxes have been thrown, but as far as she can remember, there has never been anything more than a slap. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like? It was a very strained relationship, if it could be called a relationship at all. She knew very little about the man he was in his later years, and what she knew of his formative years had only been the result of stories her Gran told her over the years. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others? Though it generally tends to vary from person to person, she would probably tell you that she admires ambition more often than not. What does your character like in other people? There are a host of things she likes in others, but the first few that come to mind are: the ability to learn from their mistakes, forgiveness, a desire to learn in general, whether or not they are capable of growing as a person, honesty. Compassion for other people. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method? A bit of both. Just because her first attempt didn’t work the way she wanted it to, doesn’t mean she’ll abandon it in its entirety. With each failed attempt, an adjustment is made. It’s only once she has exhausted every possible method that she can think of that she will move on to a different one. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it? Saying “I love you” is one of, if not the most, difficult things for Emmeline to do. She has a problem letting herself love other people; there is a constant fear of abandonment, of not being enough, of disappointing them. She struggles to let those she truly cares for know just how much they mean to her. If she can say it to you, then there’s no chance it’s meaningless. She doesn’t have it in her to force something of that magnitude and not mean it. The only person Emmeline has never struggled with those words over is her Gran. The woman who spent so much of her life trying to instill certain values into her granddaughter. The person who raised Emmeline, who wanted nothing but the best for her. The one person Emmeline always thought would be her only constant, the only person she would be willing to die to protect. When she wasn’t in school or working, Emmeline tried to make it a priority to tell the older woman how much she loved her and appreciated all that she had done over the years

INSPIRATIONS & TRAITS

CHARACTER INSPIRATIONS: prudence halliwell ( charmed ), sally owens ( practical magic ), jessica jones ( jessica jones ), amy santiago ( brooklyn nine nine ), laurel castillo ( how to get away with murder ), wynona earp ( wynona earp ), cristina yang ( grey’s anatomy ), rosa diaz ( brooklyn nine nine ), caitlin snow ( the flash ), rosita espinosa ( the walking dead ), laurel lance ( arrow ), raymond holt ( brooklyn nine nine ), rory gilmore ( gilmore girls ), lucy preston ( timeless ), peyton sawyer ( one tree hill )

AESTHETIC: piano notes softly filling an empty room, storms raging outside while you sit in the comfort of your home, books towering so high you can’t see over them, hot tea in a chipped mug, freshly baked red velvet cake cooling on the counter, four cups of coffee in the morning just to feel like you’re somewhat there, the faintest whiff of whisky lingering in the air after an especially trying night, the deafening silence that slowly envelops you when the numbness sets in, unfinished knitting projects lying lazily over chair arms by the fireplace

SONGS: made of stone - daughter / cherry wine - hozier / that i would be good - alanis morissette / please don't say you love me - gabrielle aplin / breathe me - sia / you say - lauren daigle / hard times ( ballad ) - halocene / dear happy - gabrielle aplin / lovely - lauren babic and seraphim POSITIVE TRAITS: assiduous, strong-willed, intelligent, dedicated, tidy NEGATIVE TRAITS: melancholic, self-blaming, stubborn, inflexible NEUTRAL TRAITS: ambitious, sarcastic, quiet, restrained

#( flecked with ash. )

[themoomoorn]

Hoshidon’t You Dare Be Peaceful, Corrin

After spotting the well-tread topic of Hoshido and Nohr again, there’s now plenty of spotlight as to why Hoshido is as flawed as Nohr, and moreso in some ways.  However, the issue I have with that is that Hoshido’s flaws are rarely, if ever, presented in the story itself, and when they are (I.E the Kouga-Mokushu debacle which led to the former’s prince, Asura, being forced to live as a vagrant), they aren’t played up as being bad, or worthy of note.  And heck, some things like Mikoto’s brain-mushing peaceful behavior barrier?  Viewed almost as a good thing.  

Ryoma shitting on the way of Bushido while espousing its values all the while?  Never portrayed as a flaw, whereas Xander’s devotion to his country and fear-driven loyalty to his father definitely are.  Corrin will always harp on Xander for his loyalty to his country in Birthright, whereas they have absolutely nothing harsh to say to Ryoma for withholding medicine from Elise on Conquest.  Camilla’s maternal latching onto Corrin is portrayed as gross and disturbing on Birthright, whereas Hinoka’s almost pathetic fixation on saving Corrin at the expense of her relationship with her siblings and her other royal duties is portrayed as noble and tragic; Other characters question her choosing the way of the warrior to begin with, but that’s more Hoshidan gender roles at play.

 Azura will happily stick by Corrin on Birthright and Revelation, but on Conquest, she has to be forcibly dragged along as a prisoner by Hoshidans three Chapters later in order to actually fight at Corrin’s side.  Despite having been kidnapped and mistreated in Hoshido, she still vastly prefers it over Nohr, and if you give her a spouse and her son, she raises him in all-Hoshidan trappings, with his regular ending and the Heirs of Fate DLC having him work for the Hoshidan government.  Azura’s Hoshidan Corrin support has her prostrating how she had the audacity to be Corrin’s “replacement” Hoshidan sibling, while her Nohrian support has her trying to dissuade Corrin’s masochistic guilt from killing Hoshidans.

Garon’s being horny for his concubines is shown as a bad thing, and it resulted in the remaining Nohrian royals clinging together, with some of them featuring distressing behaviors such as Camilla’s maternal overbearing (that escalates once Corrin is bought into the picture) and Xander’s fear of his father.  Sumeragi being a horndog in his youth - something that you can only find through Fuga’s Revelation support, and something that the localization actually erased - is not.  Him having his wife Ikona (the mother of the four Hoshidan siblings) and his mistress Mikoto (the mother of Corrin) living together is paid no mind, likely because it has no overtly negative consequences.  The separatism and penting up of their emotions is generally dismissed - Corrin is with them now, so nothing to see here.  There’s consequences when Takumi’s distrust of Corrin allows for Anankos to overcome him and manipulate him, but it only plays out on Conquest, as its Birthright equivalent is stopped within ten seconds of its discovery.  

Ah, and lest we forget the lack of consequences of Ryoma flat-out lying to Corrin about them being the “blood” siblings. 

Revelations features two poignant scenes of the Hoshidan siblings getting final moments with Mikoto and Sumeragi’s manipulated spirits, while the Nohrian siblings get left high and dry other than a token shock scene of Garon getting eaten by Anankos.

While Corrin retains their naive, kind, yet pragmatic (when required) behavior on both Revelation and Conquest (albeit the latter takes it to masochistic levels of guilt), Birthright sees them as being uncharacteristically violent.  They show absolutely no quarter to their foes, finds the average Nohrian a mook at best and sick (like Niles) at worst, ultimately doesn’t bother to consider their adoptive families’ reasons for their behavior, or even how the majority of the country supports Garon’s bid for conquest only because they’re constantly plagued by famine and resource-strapped.  While the player may lose out on Azura and the truth, Valla, and Anankos, choosing Hoshido is framed positively.  No consequences are faced for choosing them in anger, for being unquestionably violent.  Corrin never questions this choice, and that’s fine.  The other routes frame picking either side as poor options, but you wouldn’t get that idea if you played Birthright, because Corrin is lauded for picking this “right” choice. 

What’s more, not only do you have this violence be excused, but you get one of the game’s derided “Avatar favoritism” moments - Flora protecting the Ice Tribe from Hoshido and from Garon’s wrath is entirely (and melodramatically) pinned on the latter by Corrin, not even remotely factoring the idea that these non-Hoshidans are trying to defend themselves, and you have Felicia and Jakob having the audacity to shame her for protecting her damn family and doing her duty as future leader of the tribe as heinous because she’s not being nice or loyal to Corrin - heck, they don’t even bring up Garon bringing the heat on to her like Corrin does, it’s because she used to be one of Corrin’s servants!

There’s meta-textual favoritism towards Hoshido that the localization actually did try to downplay, but because there’s so much of it in the game, there was only so much they could, well, downplay.  The most obvious examples are the softer lyrics for the light half of Azura’s song (”The incorruptible silver sword/will slash in order to wake/those slumbering hopes/Bringing peace to the world”), and the renaming of each version of Chapter 6.

Now this dissonance is nowhere near as severe as 3H blatantly presenting Edelgard as a narcissistic, childish variation of the Red Emperor archetype and one of the de-facto villains alongside Those Who Slither, while game dialogue and extraneous material like Heroes go out of their way to make that seem untrue and present her as a cute revolutionary and a good person (*snort*).  But it’s still pretty present, and even when I got the Special Edition all-in-one cartridge of Fates mailed to my apartment back in February of 2016 and beat the game to the ground, this particular dissonance really bothered me, and in a way it was the reason why I ultimately didn’t 100% the game the way I did Awakening, or Blazing Blade, or Sacred Stones.

#fire emblem fates #fire emblem fates critical #hoshido critical #corrin #felicia's shaming flora for doing her duty is the real reason why i hate her #not her silly cute clumsy maid schtick #and her father freaking favors her and keeps her ignorant of her prisoner status to boot #felicia you dont deserve your sister #ramblings #fire emblem ramblings

[arnavsinghraizada]

Hey Amrit! You are the Arnav expert so I wanted to ask you, what do you think makes Arnav so different from Anjali when they both went through the same thing?

Hello friend! ...Wow!! That is quite possibly the nicest thing ever, that's so kind of you. I should put that in my bio now haha, The Arnav Expert. Thank you, I own the title now. 

 That's an extremely interesting question and I'd like to start off my answer with a counter-point. Arnav and Anjali did not go through the same thing. 

 They encountered the same stimulus, yes. However, their reactions were very different and that's because they're different people. Gender and ability (among probably many other factors) play a large role in adapting and reacting. I would argue that it's less what your gender is, more so what your understanding of gender is. Whether your definitions of masculinity and femininity include there being one caretaker and one more subservient being? I would also argue that Arnav and Anjali's definitions do include these things. We see from an early point that Arnav's personality tends to run to stoicism and aggression even before his parents died. He's always had an attitude problem and it's also implied that his attitude could be genetic. Dadiji goes out of her way to say that his father also had an attitude problem and that Arnav reminds her of him because of it. 

 So, I wouldn't say that Arnav's aggression and anger come exclusively from a response to a traumatic event. I would say that those traits were amplified in an effort to protect himself from the after-effects of the event. There's also the fact that research has shown that people can have a genetic susceptibility to trauma responses, that might also explain why Arnav could develop the symptoms of PTSD post-exposure to trauma, but Anjali does not. It has to do with reduced hippocampal volume (to put it very simply). These changes can increase an individual's likelihood of acquiring symptoms of PTSD. I don't have access to Arnav's brain scans so I cannot say this with certainty but hey, who knows?

 There's also the fact that Arnav and Anjali seem to have been socialized in a very odd way even before the traumatic event. My hypothesis is that Anjali was always coddled as a result of her polio, and so it was naturally understood that Arnav would one day assume a protective role (not to mention he seemed already inclined to being protective as a personality trait). I would argue this because I cannot imagine the degree to which this might have been pushed on them in order to facilitate such a natural shift within the entire Raizada family to Arnav becoming Anjali's ... guardian. Anjali accepts this, Mamaji and Mamiji (the actual adults) also accept this, so does Nani. No one questions this. So Anjali lost her parents, her marriage broke off but at least she still had her brother. 

Arnav lost his parents (in fact he WITNESSED it happen - Anjali did not), and then became the guardian to his older sister after being kicked out at age 14. My understanding of Arnav's understanding of his masculinity involves a gravitation towards the role of provider. In being forced into this position, he was also forced to confront what he could code as a failing in his own masculinity. This construction of the persona of ASR was a gradual one built of overcoming any potential shortcomings in fulfilling this role. The absence of vulnerability. Anjali does not seem to have been socialized to feel this way. In fact, Anjali found solace in religion instead. I would argue that Anjali's devoutness is actually also a trauma response. This overt reliance on the idea of circumstances being entirely outside of her control and in the hands of a higher power allows for her to avoid confronting the darker side of life and relationships. This kind of behaviour is a cognitive distortion. Now, some allowance could be made for the fact that this might not be a cross-cultural understanding of these ideas. 

However, Anjali's response to what should be commonplace events but fall under the potential banner of being 'inauspicious,' are very disproportionate. Her father cheated on her mother but she doesn't see this as even a remote possibility in her own relationship. I would say this isn't because she trusts him sooo blindly, but more so because she hasn't really processed that her father made an active choice to be unfaithful and that it could happen to anybody. Now, Anjali (and I do love her) loves attention. In particular, she prizes Arnav's attention. She never really had reason to believe it might not be hers until after Shyam's first reveal. That, coupled with the obvious stress of everything else happening and being pregnant, resulted in some very manipulative and maladaptive behaviour. Now, I again attribute this to their upbringing but I think Anjali knows how to twist people's arms to get her way without getting her own hands dirty. We've seen this many times but what presses me the most is that Anjali uses her health and well-being as a tool against Arnav a few times. A few times that I can distinctly recall that is. I would say that this is her version of the anger Arnav displays. 

While Arnav feels rage because of everything he lost and had thrown at him, Anjali craves attention and security.

TLDR:  In closing, I would say that they experienced different things. These things acted on personalities that were already radically different and exacerbated pre-existing understandings of gender relations. In addition, Anjali is not nearly as well-adjusted as people might like to imagine.

#ipkknd #arnav singh raizada #my alpha husband #anjali raizada #analysis #amrit barks