#the weight of our choices

[lunarharp]

lazy scribbling of my baldur's gate 3 characters

#*emerges from 430 HOURS of life-changing playtime blearily like a lost and confused kitten* #i lost my interest in drawing bc everything is too sad & horrible right now. it was a luxury and privilege to lose myself in this instead #what follows will be my personal and trivial emotions about that #i'll do better proper drawings later. for me. they are both so very dear to me... deeply dear...unforgettable journeys of fate #truly have played like one possessed for the past few weeks. you have no idea. what do i do now. what do i do. #their personalities are so vivid to me though they mostly made the same choices. both intersex and they/them - canonically <3 #i missed out on FOUR PARTY MEMBERS in my first playthrough due to not understanding anything whatsoever. #gloaming ended up with wyll and pavane romanced karlach and astarion. and ended up with the one i did NOT plan on. this wasnt the plan #one of the most fulfilling romance paths i've ever..i cant say more..it all got too immersive and now i have to just.. MOVE ON ?????????? #live in THIS world where i can't gut imperialism personally and emerge alive from that? #without Long Resting? without my character requesting a kiss from their beloved after a tough day ?? #without preparing my little spells? without channelling divinity from my death god to keep us all alive? #without dyeing my man's clothes fancy colours for him? without him Approving whenever i lie and double-cross our enemies #without sharing clothes with my ex? without choosing to eat the heavy food first so that the weight is easier on her Carrying Capacity? #without orchestrating ways for all of my friends to kill the abusers that ruined their lives for a decade or even 200 years? #without experiencing degrading horrors on a daily basis but in a cathartic way where we always make it back to our rooms at the inn #WITHOUT SPEAK WITH ANIMALS??????????? #at least there's music. just like with persona 5 that will always be with me. always #like how p5 melodies take me back to those feelings. those rich and personal feelings.... BUT THIS WAS A WAY MORE NUTS EXPERIENCE #i thought i would hate it. i did at times. thought it would desensitise me to various things. it did. but there was so much more..it was... #Well anyway *continues my life* imagine if dnd was real..something to think about

[hinderr]

. the moon will sing by crane wives. grogu and gideon song

#study on nature and nurture #there's the obvious 'the moon will sing a song for me / i loved you like the sun' #and also 'tell me once again i could've been anyone anyone else before you made the choice for me' #and 'we walk in the dark in the dark i never gave a single thought to where it might lead' #OHHH GOD INSANE -> #'my heart knew the weight / ten years of dust and neglect / we made our peace with weariness and let it be' #'we couldve had anything anything else / except you hoarded all that's left of me' #'i want to feel the fire that you kept from me' OUGH #'i shine only from the light you give me (i could've been anyone anyone)' HELLO CAN ANYONE HEAR MEEEEE

[novelconcepts]

I loved your tags in the post about Joel and Ellie and saving the world! I think you're very right. It's not about the love for a child, but in general a love for a person. For a brother. For a husband. You name it. I would do the same for my wife because there is nothing more important than her, regardless of whether or not the cure would have worked. Do you think you would do the same for the people you love?

I, like Joel, am not a hero. I’m a person who largely only gets by BECAUSE I have people I love, who love me, to keep the world from feeling utterly bleak. So, uh. If it came down to the world or my wife? The world or my younger sibling? Yeah. I get his choice.

#ask #the last of us spoilers #honestly the biggest problem with both the fireflies and Joel is that they don’t ask Ellie’s opinion #they don’t give her a choice. they just act. #and it can be argued that no kid should be expected to shoulder the weight of something that huge #and it’s on the adult who loves her to make the hard choice even knowing she’ll hate him for i #*for it #but I do think it boils down to agency #if it were my wife? I’d obviously have to ask. communication is our whole relationship foundation. trust. #but if it were just up to me? would I put my personal love above the world? #almost certainly. #all that said if the story took place five years later #and it wasn’t Joel but Dina with Ellie #I think the outcome would have looked very different indeed

[ominouspositivity-or-else]

me, drowning in Hozier's Francesca: I'm pretty edgy for a catholic, aren't I

#completely freaked a girl ik out last night with how much i like paris paloma #or francesca #or literally anything #i love a song that goes 'regret my touch so much that you curse your baptism' and like the literal point is that we have weight #our choices have weight #if you want hell you will go there #and then also like sometimes loving God is really hard #it shouldnt be but i never said i was a good person okay #like loving God should be all sunshine and rainbows #and yet christ said take up your cross #my cross is colored like doubts and feels like paranoia #idk im tired im just thinking about the look on people's faces when i dont shy away from things like that #i cant fault people for it but i cant accept it either #catholic things

[timeisacephalopod]

The fact that cigarette companies exist is fucking dystopian and a sign of the failure of capitalism as an ideology- cigarettes are a product that undeniably caused a bunch of different cancers, we've all seen the tobacco death stats on the back of cig cartons smokers have, and yet. And yet, for some reason instead of saying "zero businesses should be selling cancer causing products to their customers, certainly not when those cancer causing products are so dangerous even the smoke of the product causes cancers in the people around smokers. Businesses have zero right to cause a massive health crisis in the population like this when their only function is to make money- you cannot give people cancer for profit."

Like you'd assume giving people cancer for money would be some kind of fucked dystopian novel that'd get ripped on for being way too over the top and unrealistic but no, we literally live in such a morally bankrupt capitalist brain rotted society that we think selling cancer is fine, we won't do anything about a set of companies that exist solely to get customers addicted to their highly dangerous product for profit. Instead we'll act like it's smokers who need to take responsibility for the industry that's exploiting them. Fucking disgusting if you ask me, that we're more okay with companies giving people cancer than we are with governments giving people welfare.

#winters ramblings #my parents have been smokers for as far back as i remember #id really like to livht some ceos on fire for putting all these people at risk OF CANCER and like 72 billion kinds #so they can make MONEY. what kind of morally vacuous black hole of a person thinks thats acceptable?? #and they LOBBIED to hide any effects of smoking second hand effects included. fucking HORRIFYING #the fact that businesses do this a LOT- like bp shell and exxon all covering up climate change to make more money?? #capitalism is a failure because people will kill each other or even THE ONLY VIABLE PLANET TO LIVE ON IN OUR SOLAR SYSTEM #just to make money. like you can tell me about how horrible other economic systems are all fucking day #and frankly id be inclined to ahree with you on plenty. but capitalism is not a viable choice either #when THIS is the result. selling health crises to the population and killing the planet. name me another economic system thats done THAT #ill fucking wait because capitalism is it. embarrassing that people will defend this system #even more embarrassing that we hand wring over fst people being an epidemic to the point of systemic oppression #because THEY need to take responsibility for the health crisis they allegedly cause despite reporting going to the drs FAR less #than thin people so idk how theyre astrain on health care especially in the us where people literally die before going to emerg but ok #THEY need to be responsible for THEIR health crisis despite losing weight long term being NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE #but tobacco companies can sell cancer to the point if being a WAY MORE SOLVABLE HEALTH CRISIS #but we cant do anything because being disgustingly cruel and punative to individuals is fine but oh dear LORD #how could we EVER treat businesses with more impunity than individuals because they cause INFINITY MORE DAMAGE?? #we couldn't POSSIBLY treat a structure of institutional power like it actually HAS power thatd break the illusion its all CONSUMERS faults

[musings-on-aching-flowers]

the collapse of a kingdom

What I find totally interesting is the fall of Xie Lian’s kingdom. It’s immensely tragic - it seems the beloved Crown Prince’s naïveté when it comes to managing Xianle’s sociopolitical climate causes him to make short-sighted misstep after misstep, until the crumbling ruins of his beloved Xianle lie at his feet. My original understanding of the events of Book 2 were the application of Newton’s third law, every action has an equal and opposite reaction, in that his attempting to rectify every situation ended up magnifying the destruction and misfortune of the eventual outcome later. He was told it was fated to collapse, he refused to listen, and fate played out the way it was always intended to - just taking a longer, more roundabout way to do so.

But then we find out towards the end of the story that this downfall of Xianle was carefully engineered into place by Jun Wu. 

What does that mean, for the fate of Xianle? Did that mean that Xie Lian’s tremendous efforts to relieve droughts and shelter refugees actually shifted the fate of his kingdom and its people? Were Jun Wu’s machinations born from resentment against Xie Lian’s success fated to be the end of Xianle from the very start? If Jun Wu hadn't made the puppet in order to start the war between Yong'An and Xianle, would Xianle have fallen at all?

Does it even matter at all, if the outcome was the same? 

And then these questions lead into a discussion on determinism - is every action governed by fate? Meetings and partings are fated, the rise and fall of kingdoms are fated, but are the mechanisms of these meetings and partings, rises and falls also fated? 

On some molecular, minuscule level, does anyone actually have any control?

Maybe that’s another lesson to learn from TGCF. Perhaps the choices that we make and the meetings that we have are baked into the fibres of our being - immutable, unchangeable. Perhaps the choice is up to us. Or maybe it’s a combination of both. But even if it’s an illusion, choose to be true to yourself, choose to stand by your convictions and above all, choose -despite all odds- to stay determined.

#lately I've been thinking about determinism #à la The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe and In Space With Markiplier #and free will and self governance and if our choices have any true weight at all #but in the end #it truly doesn't matter #as long as you stay true to yourself and your beliefs and treat the world around you with the genuineness you'd want to be treated with #does that make sense? #probably not #TGCF #heaven official's blessing #tian guan ci fu #tgcf #xie lian #jun wu #bc despite everything #xie lian stayed determined #tgcf meta #my meta

[bylertruther]

me, gripping the bathroom sink so hard it hurts and staring at myself in the mirror: i'm not gonna write possessed!will every time. i am NOT going to write possessed!will every time. i am NOTTTTTTT! GOING! TO! WRITE! POSSESSED!WILL! i am GOING to write NORMAL, REGULAR FUNKY LITTLE SCRUNKLY GUY WILL for once! i am NOT going to write poss—

also me, as soon as i open literally any of my WIPs ever: haha sooooooo there's this incorporeal entityyyy / ghostttt.... 😌💅

#wouldnt be me if i didnt make each of my wills be haunted whether by a literal incorporeal entity of unimaginable power or #simply the ghosts of his past hehehehe 😌💅 (i say w tears in my eyes) #theres jus smth abt haunted characters tht is sooooo Scrumptious #characters who cannot let go #characters who god/fate/the powers that be cannot let go of #characters who are forced to carry the weight of more than they ever asked to bear #characters who have no choice but to play their part n read the lines they've been given #characters who break out of that role and are forced to suffer the consequences by aforementioned fate/god/the powers that be #IT'S SO YUMMY #because then there's always the character that's in love with this haunted house of a person (mike) who sees their ghosts and doesn't #run away! wouldn't ever even think to run away! who recognizes the story they're in because they're a storyteller too and instead of #letting this haunted hero continue to read his lines he's going to say NO!! no more!! from this moment on we are writing our own story!! #and we are going to make it so good and fun and full of love and light there will be no room for ghosts or monsters or evil it will be this #always!!!! in this story we will be safe!! for once and for all!! and who is the hero to say no? how can he look at such conviction and #love and desperation and NOT believe in it? i just. THEY !!!!!!!!!!!! #anyway. feeling so normal abt my lil monster boy n the brave paladin n this fic . so normal SOOO very normal and regular!

[pathologising]

What do you think about reality, like are we real?

We are real!!!! and made up of trillions upon trillions of atoms and it's awesome!!!!!!! I don't believe any ideas that we are in a matrix or anything like that I think it's rather fantastical and a product of people trying to find some sort of order in a world that is entirely random. The human brain seeks order in a world built to trend towards ever-increasing entropy so we make up fantastical ideas to help explain it all and maintain some sort of control over everything and explain things we don't immediately understand. It's also more exciting to some people to believe stories or conspiracies like that but personally i don't like them.

#unreality #i think theories like that act as a shield for peoples fears you know...the idea that this is somehow planned or a simulation #is easier than taking account of the fact that things are random and we in the grand scope of things 'insignifigant' #but personally i think its beautiful that the world is relatively random and not built on any plan or matrix sequence #because it means when we realise this we can ultimately decide to find and add signifigance to the randomness #and that choice offers a better control over life and yourself rather than just believing conspiracy theories that when picked apart #hold no real weight #also like...we can anx have observed the layers that make us up from atoms to cells #with the correct equipment #saying we arent real discounts the beauty of science and the beauty of our existence #at least to me. anyway really good question

[justadram]

Hiii! I'm really curious, how do you prepare your classes and what kind of projects do you ask your students to do? I'd love to know since I love history. Thanks a lot!

My courses are organized around a set of themes. Politics, religion, technology, gender, and social classes, for example, and I track those themes by era/society, as we progress through the semester in lecture and discussion. The assessments are all built around those themes, and the questions must also be comparative. Not just a question about gender in ancient Mesopotamia, but a question comparing gender in ancient Mesopotamia and ancient Egypt, and why differences between the two might exist! Not just tell me about the difference in the republican system in Rome and the direct democracy in Athens, but how does that shape their respective societies. Where do you want to be a citizen? Sparta, Athens, Rome? WHY? Tell me about slavery in these societies! Why do agricultural societies create oppressive social structures?

I hate memorizing dates and names of Great Men. I hate making kids learn the blow by blow of wars. That's all worthless. I attended my lovely husband's lecture to the undergrads on the War of the Roses, which was his assigned topic set by his boring prof, and came out like--what a fucking waste of time. 1hr 15mins you'll never get back. Honestly, it'll make no difference to your life if you can tell me the list of those battles and who won. Tell me how the longbow and cannon overturned feudal society or get out of here! Technology plays a vital role in sweeping social change! Often unintended. That's an important lesson. We’re living through it.

Other than a midterm and final, which ask the above sorts of questions to draw upon everything they've learned and get them thinking critically, my students take map quizzes--Americans aren't taught geography well, and I need them to have context for where these things are taking place and how cultures interacted--and write a paper, in which they act as historians and analyze a set of primary sources in order to form an argument that addresses the prompt.

We also do a lot of examination of visual propaganda, teaching them to identify and not fall prey to manipulation. We do it with images from say the French Revolution or WWII, and I never out and out say it, but I'm trying to train them not to fall prey to the shit you see circulating on FB. If I showed my hand on that, they'd be like--LIBERAL WITCH! Lol Even though there is misinformation and propaganda directed at the left as well. Those who have been around long enough remember how tumblr progressives were targeted by Russian trolls.

#I want them to be armed in critical thinking skills #I want them to see how things that happened 100s of years ago echo down until the present #so our choices now definitely bear weight #and if they also see how sexy the invention of the stirrup was? all the better lol

[violetce]

not to out myself as a p*nterest user but MAN does that site ever need a reporting option for "this dietary advice is psuedoscientific and may in fact be actively unsafe"

#you pin a handful of vegetarian recipes bc you dont like most meat and pinterest goes 'oh?? you want weight loss advice??' #'here is a curated selection of our worst wieght loss advice brought to you by a choice selection of skinny blond women in athleisure!' #ugh #uhhh #diet tw #mine

[roshni99]

🌾 Oats have long been hailed as a superfood for their numerous health benefits, but it's essential to critically examine their potential downsides. Here are 5 reasons to reconsider incorporating oats into your daily diet: 1️⃣ **Anti-Nutrients**: Oats contain anti-nutrients like phytic acid, which can hinder the absorption of essential minerals like iron, zinc, and calcium. Excessive consumption can potentially disrupt nutrient availability in the body. 2️⃣ **Gluten Cross-Contamination**: While oats are naturally gluten-free, they are often processed in facilities that also handle wheat, leading to potential cross-contamination issues. This can be a significant concern for individuals with gluten sensitivity or celiac disease. 3️⃣ **High Glycemic Index**: Oats have a relatively high glycemic index (GI), which means they can cause a rapid spike in blood sugar levels. This can be problematic for those trying to manage blood sugar or insulin levels. 4️⃣ **Oxalates**: Oats contain oxalates, compounds that can crystallize and cause health issues, particularly for individuals prone to kidney stones or certain types of arthritis. 5️⃣ **Potential Allergies**: 

#Oats can trigger allergic reactions in some individuals #leading to symptoms like hives #itching #or even difficulty breathing. It's crucial to be aware of potential allergic reactions. It's important to approach our dietary choices with #considering both the benefits and potential drawbacks of the foods we consume. As with any food #moderation and individualized consideration of personal health circumstances are key. #Diet #Health #Nutrition #Oats #Wellness #foodawareness oats healthy recipes oats healthy breakfast recipes oats health benefits oats healthy recipes for weight loss oats healthy or

[fiapple]

hi, to that one anon in my inbox, please know that there is a difference between encouraging people to fully think through their choices, and joining a fucking hate group in response to making the wrong one for you personally.

also, because i'm being expected to explain this at four in the fucking morning, i won't be engaing with you further. not that your ask was in good faith in the first place.

#this is abt the det*ans post in case anyone was wondering #smth smth dt people are the ones who know how harmful it can be & are just trying to spread the word as if that has anything to do w the op #as if trans people aren't forced to analyze themselves a hundred times over as if trans people are incapable of understanding the concept #of one's choices holding weight & having long term impact as if we aren't forced to know & be aware of that by the world around us. as if #we dont encourage each other to be GENUINELY aware for our own safety while having to sort through the heaps of misinfo largely pushed by #fuckers like you & those who's anti-trans rhetoric YOU CHOOSE TO FEED INTO IRT TO HOW YOU AS A MOVEMENT DISCUSS TRANS PPL #like don't waste my time i got better stuff to do #posts #kerfuffle #<- tag for people being annoying & my response to it if you wanna block #i am going to scream. #transphobia

[girlrotterr]

But I'm a lesbian!

ellie x abby x dina x fem!reader a/n: inspired by the movie, "but i'm a cheerleader" !! Did my own little spin on it. (This may have a part two!)

→ Part two! → Part three! → Part four!

Forced to a camp known as "True Directions," your arrival was no choice of your own. Your parents, upon discovering your sexuality, had made the decision to send you there. As you followed your guide towards the dormitories, someone caught your eye—a girl with auburn hair, casually puffing on a cigarette.

Noticing your presence, the girl glanced up and rolled her eyes. Your guide gestured towards her, prompting her to approach you. Extending her hand, she introduced herself, "Ellie."

"Hello," you responded, your voice betraying your nerves as you shook her hand, noting its soft yet firm grip.

With a sigh, Ellie remarked, "they sent new meat here again, huh?" She took another drag from her cigarette, casting a judgmental gaze in your direction.

"I’m sure to be out of the way," you said, trying to sound confident. "I’ll pass every trial here to get back home."

A smirk tugged at the corner of her lips. “Uh-huh..." she mused. “You’ll be here a while then."

“Ahem," the guide cleared her throat towards Ellie, who responded with an eye roll before retreating to her pink bed.  

"Very well then, I will leave you to unpack your things. This will be your dorm. You will share this space with three other roommates, feel free to report anything back to me," she said, her tall and commanding presence by her bouncing blond hair as she talked.

"Especially anything involving this one," she added, shooting a glance at Ellie. 

"Well," the guide grasped your arms, giving them a squeeze, "welcome to 'True Directions,' we'll fix you right up, dear!”

You gave a hesitant half-smile, trying to hide your discomfort. 

Returning your gesture with a bright smile, the guide nodded happily before leaving, closing the door behind her with a soft click.

Silence. 

Clutching onto your suitcases, the silence became increasingly awkward, and you debated whether to speak up. Should you ask where to put your belongings? But the fear of annoying or bothering Ellie made you hesitant.

Fuck it.

"Um, excuse me, where can I—"

"There," Ellie interrupted, her tone nonchalant as she pointed toward a corner of the room, her gaze still not meeting yours.

Your eyes followed her gesture to an empty white dresser tucked away, starkly different from the others that were already occupied. Making your way towards the dresser, you took in the room once more. The overwhelming femininity was hard to ignore—pink walls, beds, and shelves adorned with stuffed animals. Setting your suitcase down with a thud, you unzipped it, the sound of the zipper echoing loudly in the silent room.

Opening the drawer, the scent of brand new furniture wafted across your nose, tickling it and nearly causing you to sneeze.

Ellie got up from her bed, pulling open her drawer with a tug. In it were an assortment of items—makeup, hair accessories, and jewelry jumbled together. Rummaging through it, Ellie let out a sharp exhale, finally finding something from the depths of the drawer.

Without a glance in your direction, she held out a ribbon and a few hair clips. "Here," she muttered.

Your eyes widened at the adorable accessories as she tossed them over to you. "Put your hair up or something. It's better not to have it in the way, especially during our routines.”

"Ah, thank you," you expressed, catching them. "Are these.. yours?"

"Yeah... unfortunately," Ellie responded dryly.

With a nod, you started to arrange your hair with the clips.

As you styled your hair, the weight of Ellie's gaze pressed against your back like a physical force. Every subtle movement you made was studied, from the way you lifted strands of hair to the careful twisting of the ribbon around the ponytail. Even the simple act of tucking a stray lock behind your ear felt intense.

What’s this girl's deal?

The intensity of her stare became almost suffocating, leaving your hands trembling slightly as you worked. Despite her focus only on your hair, the sensation of being under her gaze felt like she was peering into your soul.

Finally, Ellie broke the silence with a quiet, husky voice, her words cutting through the tension. "You need a mirror?"

Her gaze remained fixed on you, relentless.

"No," you managed to reply, attempting to be confident.

But the moment her voice echoed throughout the room, heat began rising to your cheeks, and you couldn’t help but hesitate. Her presence felt overwhelming, a mix of nerves, fear, and desire swirling within you, all under her attention.

“Hm..” Ellie replied, seeming more curious now. She uncrossed her arms and slowly walked over to you. You could hear the way Ellie’s footsteps made the floor creak as she walked.

"Hm?" you managed to utter as Ellie closed in on you, her presence surrounding you with every step she took. The breath from her lips brushed against the nape of your neck as she leaned in.

"You're missing a strand," Ellie said, her voice softer than before.

The sensation of her being so close, her breath teasing your skin. You wanted to turn around and face her.

Her closeness was so overwhelming.

As Ellie's hand brushed against your hair, a sharp shiver coursed through your spine, setting your heartbeat into a quick rhythm. Her touch lingered, fingers twirling strands of your hair, as she leaned in even closer, so suffocatingly close. It felt as though Ellie was on the verge of whispering something, her breath agonizingly near-

"Yo, Ellie!"

The tension in the room broke as Dina and Abby burst in, causing Ellie to let go of your hair and step back.

Their expressions shifted abruptly from excitement to surprise as they noticed you. Dina's curious gaze looked over, her head tilting in confusion, while Abby's cold stare pierced through you.

"You must be the new one," Abby remarked, her tone icy, her eyes never leaving you as if dissecting your very being.

"Y-yeah.. I am," you responded, finally finishing your hair.

Abby simply nodded in acknowledgment, while Dina chuckled to herself.

"Aw, the new girl is all nervous!" Dina's teasing remark was followed by a smirk and a playful wave of her hand. She shifted her attention to Ellie, observing her growing annoyance. Dina seemed to catch on to something, finding the situation amusing.

"Ooooh! Ellie was hitting on ya!" Dina's snickering only added to Ellie's frustration as she clenched her jaw tightly, arms crossed.

Abby, maintaining her silent observation, continued to stare at the both of you.

"Ah! no..she was just helping me with my hair," you replied, attempting to stop the teasing.

"Awh. Is that so?" Dina's teasing tone persisted as she continued to giggle, her gaze towards Ellie who remained annoyed.

Abby's gaze suddenly shifted as she walked towards you, gently pushing a strand of hair behind your ear. Her touch was surprisingly tender.

"There," she remarked softly, a smile gracing her lips, the gesture catching you off guard. It was so unexpected. "You had missed a strand."

Abby looked back at Ellie, a smirk on her lips, her eyes flickering as she made a mocking glance with her.

Suddenly, the camp director barged in, her authoritative voice vibrating throughout the room. "Ladies!" she commanded, making all the girls snap their attention towards the door where the camp director now stood.

Ellie groaned as soon as she heard that familiar voice.

"All of you, get out for morning exercise," the director ordered, her stern gaze scanning everyone. "Now."

With a swift turn, the camp director walked out of the room, the echo of her clicking heels fading as she left. Abby, Dina, and Ellie all groaned in unison, knowing what was to come. They made their way to their designated dressers, preparing to change into their gym clothes.

Amidst the shuffling of clothing, you voiced your confusion. "W-what are we doing?"

Abby scoffed at your question, a smirk on her lips. "Did Ellie not go through the routines and rules with you?"

You shook your head.

"Not surprising," she remarked before chuckling, "she always seems to get distracted-"

“We're doing morning cardio and stretching routines,” Ellie cut in, her voice clear and assertive, pulling out her sports bra and short shorts. “Your gym clothes are in your dresser.”

Abby bit her lip, suppressing a laugh. "Well, there you go.”

You nodded in understanding, “thanks..”

Walking to your dresser, you pulled open the top drawer, revealing a variety of outfits and uniforms, all varying shades of pink. The sight left your head spinning a bit as you realized this would be your life for the next couple of months.

As you began changing, you felt a wave of self-consciousness wash over you. With hesitant movements, you peeled off your shirt and skirt, the fabric slipping from your skin with a soft rustle. All the while, you were aware of Abby and Ellie's eyes lingering on you.

 Abby's gaze, though subtle, was sharply observant, her eyes tracing up and down your body with an almost predatory glare. It was as if she was memorizing every curve and contour. Meanwhile, Ellie's attention was more focused, her gaze lingering on specific areas of your body, like your hips and chest. There was an intensity in her stare, a curiosity that was borderline intrusive.

Slap! 

With a sharp sting on your ass, a sudden jolt of surprise chilled through you, causing you to yelp. "You'll make us late at this pace!" Dina's voice rang out, her arm wrapping around you protectively, shielding you from the view of Abby and Ellie.

"Ah! You're right," you exclaimed, quickly slipping into your gym clothes.

Dina gave you a quick grin before turning her attention towards Abby and Ellie. Squinting her eyes playfully, she shook her head slowly, teasingly disappointed in the two of them. Abby hurriedly looked away, pretending to be preoccupied with tying her shoelaces, while Ellie rolled her eyes.

───

As you and the other girls made your way to the track, you found yourselves walking together in a small group. Ellie and Abby led the way, showing no signs of slowing down despite your struggle to keep up. Meanwhile, Dina’s pace was slower, occasionally glancing at you.

"So, how'd you get caught?" Dina asked slyly, a mischievous look in her eyes.

You turned to look at her, taken aback by the sudden question. "What?"

"You were sent here for a reason," Dina said curiously, making Abby and Ellie turn their heads, intrigued to hear your response.

"I..don't think I want to share," you said, avoiding eye contact from feeling a bit nervous.

"Oh, come on!" Dina urged, now walking next to you, realizing your hesitance. "Don't be so shy. How about we tell you ours? Will that make you less embarrassed?"

"Hmm..alright," you agreed. Maybe learning about their experiences would help get to know them.

Excitedly, Dina clapped her hands together. "Okay, okay! I'll go first." She moved closer to you, her shoulder practically bumping into yours. "I got caught watching lesbian porn."

A snicker escaped Ellie's lips as she tried to hold back her laughter.

Dina shot a playful glare. "You have no right to laugh, El's."

"Doesn't make it any less funny," Ellie retorted.

Dina scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Since it’s sooo funny, you go then."

Ellie's eyes locked onto yours, her voice embarrassed. "I ordered a strap online, and it got delivered to the wrong address. To my fucking neighbor, Seth. Dude went ballistic and sent me here, said I needed to be controlled."

A rush of heat flooded your cheeks as Ellie's words sank in, full of curiosity and intrigue. The mere idea of her wearing a strap sent a flow of sensations that pulsed throughout your body. Your throat became dry trying to visualize it. 

"Ab's! Your turn!" Dina interrupted excitedly, Abby's story was always her favorite.

Abby smirked, turning her gaze towards you. "Unlike Ellie, I got to use my strap," she remarked mischievously.

Ellie groaned at Abby'scomment, clearly unimpressed.

“I got caught fucking my father's assistant nurse with it.”

Dina squealed as she shook your arm excitedly. "Now THAT'S a coming out story!" she exclaimed.

Ellie shot Dina a glare, clearly annoyed by her reaction. With a scoff, she turned her head away, facing in the opposite direction.

Abby, on the other hand, smirked at Ellie's and playfully hit her back. "Aw, it's okay, El's," she said reassuringly.

"Okay, okay, tell us yours now," Dina urged eagerly, her and Abby's curious gazes fixed on you,

“Well..” you began, your hands fidgeting nervously as you mustered up the courage. “My parents walked in on me and my cheer captain…” You hesitated for a moment before continuing “...69’ing on the kitchen counter.” 

Ellie quickly snapped her head back to look at you. Dina and Abby’s eyes widened, completely startled.

“Y-yeah…” you confirmed, meeting the girls' shocked gazes. “Mid-squirt too…”

Ellie’s eyes widened as if they were going to pop. Dina’s jaw dropped, with her mouth slowly curving into a smirk, “You fucking win.”

───

"Alright, ladies," the head director announced, her voice carrying across the track, “forty-five minutes around the track, as per usual. Afterward, we hit the showers in preparation for cooking classes."

"Remember, ladies," she continued excitedly, "these skills aren't just beneficial, they also attract men! It's just another step closer to becoming 'normal'."

The moment the word "normal" left the director's lips, you noticed the collective eye rolls and groans from the other girls. Ellie's jaw tightened as she stared away, grumbling under her breath. Abby crossed her arms, completely unamused, while Dina couldn't help but snicker, lowering her face to hide her giggle.

With a sharp blow of the whistle, the director signaled the start of the morning run.

As you began your laps around the track, you couldn't help but notice the effortless speed and stamina of Ellie and the other girls. They seemed to glide around the track with ease.

Struggling to keep up, your legs began to burn. Your breath came in short, ragged gasps as you pushed yourself onward.

"Hey, you doing okay?" Abby asked.

"Ye..yeah..." you managed to reply between heavy breaths.

Abby arched an eyebrow, clearly seeing through you. "You do know we have about 20 more laps to go, right?"

Before you could respond, a sudden stumble sent you tumbling to the ground. Abby instinctively reached out to help, but her attempt only resulted in her losing her balance, causing her to trip and accidentally pull Ellie down with her.

Ellie hit the concrete hard, her knee taking the force of the fall. Gritting her teeth, she clenched her jaw tightly as pain shot through her scrapped knee. With all three of you on the ground, the sudden scene caused a chuckle from Dina. "Holy shit, you guys fell like bowling pins," she remarked.

"Shit, sorry El's-" Abby began to apologize.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Ellie yelled, her tone cold as she glared up at Abby.

Abby glared back at Ellie, her expression tense. "What-"

“Watch where you’re fucking going. It’s not that hard,” Ellie snarled, gritting her teeth as she noticed the large scrape on her knee.

“T-that was on me-" you added, feeling guilty for the accident.

Abby suddenly got up, her face contorted with anger as she looked down at Ellie. “I didn’t mean to, I-"

Ellie suddenly stood up too, her height making her have to look up at Abby. “I’m so fucking sick of you trying to assert something. It’s fucking annoying.”

Abby scoffed, “Yeah? I’m tired of your pussy fucking attitude.” She then moved closer towards Ellie, the sudden bump causing Ellie to sway a bit.

Ellie chuckled, tilting her head to the side before locking eyes with Abby. “Pussy, huh?” 

“You are what you fucking eat,” Abby snapped back, her tone sharp.

You got up from the concrete floor, every inch of your body feeling the lingering sting from the sudden impact. “She didn’t mean to, I tripped and-” you tried to explain, but before you could finish, Ellie raised her fist. Her initial target being Abby, who managed to step back just in time to avoid the blow. Unfortunately, you stepped further, positioning yourself between them, but before you could react, Ellie's fist mistakenly met your nose.

“Holy shit!” Dina yelled, her hand covering her mouth in shock.

You felt the impact jolt through your body as you stumbled back, finding stability in Abby's embrace as her arms wrapped around you from behind.

“Fuck, I am so sorry-" Ellie began to apologize, her voice filled with remorse.

“Fucking really?!?” Abby yelled, frustrated as she stepped you to the side. “You fucking hit her!”

“I didn’t mean to!” Ellie yelled back, her tone defensive as she tried to explain herself.

“Didn’t mean to? You punched her!” 

“G-guys, I’m fine-" you said, your voice strained through the pain, attempting to step towards them again, holding your throbbing nose.

“I was clearly trying to punch your bitch ass!” Ellie yelled.

“Oh yeah?” Abby raised her fist, aiming for Ellie, her knuckles clenched as she intended to give her a piece of her mind for hurting you and being such a brat. However, as you stepped in between them once again, Abby's fist accidentally hit you, the impact shocking you and causing a blur in your vision.

“Oh my god!” Dina yelled, her eyes widening in horror as she flinched.

You stumbled backward, the world blurring around you as you tripped over your loose shoelace, your body rushing towards the concrete floor once again, jarring your senses and sending a wave of pain through your body.

Abby took her hands to her chest, her mouth covered in disbelief.

“fuck, fuck, fuck! Are you okay?” Ellie exclaimed, her voice filled with concern as she quickly knelt down beside you.

Your nose was now bleeding, droplets of blood scattering across the concrete floor like raindrops. The metallic tang of blood filled the air, mixing with the scent of sweat. You winced as pain shot through your face, throbbing relentlessly.

“I think my nose is broken…” you managed to say, your words muffled by the blood dripping down your face.

“Now nobody can sit on her face,” Dina groaned.

#ellie williams #abby anderson #dina tlou #ellie tlou #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie fanfic #ellie williams au #ellie fanfiction #ellie smut #abby fanfiction

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

Men In Movies (Girls Night series) - Charles Leclerc

Summary: Charles charms his girlfriend's friends into letting him in on a quiet girls movie night and he feels like he's getting an exclusive look in on what happens on a girls night.

Friends names: Melody, Amaya and Ruby

Y/n is still out shopping for snacks and drinks when the girls arrive, so Charles gets the luxury of being the welcome party to them all. And it somewhat gives him a chance to talk them into letting him be a part of it.

He's got no other plans and while the relationship is still fairly new, so he should probably give y/n space and time with her friends that he doesn't intrude on. He also just wants to be involved.

"You girls all look beautiful." Charles smiles as they walk in. "Y/n's is still out getting food, but she left a while ago. I think she will be back soon."

"That's alright, you're being a very good host, Charles." Ruby smiles knowing that Charles might exude confidence as a person but he's also aware of the influence a girls friends can have on how she feels about a man. So he's doing everything he can to make sure he never gets on their bad side.

"I'm a little sad I'm not getting to enjoy a movie night with you guys. But I know it is a girls night and y/n has told me strict rules, I cannot join in." Charles states maybe a little manipulatively in hopes they will allow him a pass.

"You're not subtle, Charles." Melody laughs shaking her head but Amaya speaks up.

"Don't be mean. Charles you can join in if y/n says it's ok. We're not going to stop you. Melody has had multiple men join our girls nights and half of them weren't actually her boyfriends."

"Hey! No need to air out dirty laundry like that, Amaya." Melody gasps while Ruby giggles earning a sharp look but makes no apology.

"I don't want to overstep." Charles states actually feeling like maybe it was a mistake to ask.

"Baby! I'm back, I found these little sausages. They're like-oh girls. I didn't realise you guys were here already." Y/n smiles stopping herself short and smiling at the group who all smile back at her but she frowns a little. "I hope you girls haven't been scaring him."

Melody and Amaya immediately been explaining how they were certainly not scaring Charles. Charles moves to take the bags from y/n since actually they look quite heavy and she seems to have managed to hold a lot. Even taking them from her he pulls a face at the weight.

"Alright, Ruby? Can you...?" Y/n questions since listening to Melody and Amaya shout over each other is already giving her a headache she's thinks it's too early in the night to have.

"Charles wants to be involved int he girls night. Melody says no, Amaya says yes because Melody has invited quite a few men to the girls nights before and we had a good time." Ruby explains earning a puff of breath before she nods.

"And what do you think?" Y/n hums knowing Ruby often likes to sit back and watch Amaya and Melody bicker.

Ruby's gaze looks over at Charles who has tried to occupy himself with the snacks.

"Charles is the best boyfriend you've ever had. I say he's got an indefinite invite for girls night." Ruby shrugs earning a smile from y/n and Charles might not be looking but his dimples are giving him away for a smile.

"Sounds like you don't have a choice, baby. Unless you want to come across as rude." Y/n teases earning a grin as he finally looks at her.

"Then I cannot decline." Charles states before y/n moves over and kisses him.

The next half hour is spent just setting up the living room with the snacks laid out and the drinks at the side for then to pick from.

"You should starting a catering company, y/n. You've got more than we're going to eat here." Melody jokes as they all finally settle down and while y/n initially was going to sit with Ruby and Amaya in the order they'd usually sit.

But Charles doesn't even stop to waste time, swiftly catching her as he walks by to sit down, his arm around her waist and him yanking her down to his lap in what everyone has to admit was almost too smooth of a move.

"Oh, Charles." Y/n laughs as they sit down.

The next half an hour is spent bickering over what movies to watch and in what order.

Eventually they land on The Proposal, Bridesmaids and 13 Going on 30 (sorry if anyone hates these but they're my go-to and I lurveee them).

"Take notes, Charles. Men in movies are why I allow men in on girls nights. I want them to act like the men that we see on screens." Melody states making y/n tsk at the other woman but Charles is just amused.

"And do they live up to the men in movies?" Charles asks earning a slightly more bitter expression while the rest of the girls laugh.

"No, they did not. Which is why she's here without her own man to crash a girls night." Amaya giggles then laugh when Melody nudges her with her foot.

"Are girls night always like this?" Charles whispers to y/n who just smiles and laughs a little.

"Yeah, pretty much. But you have an open invitation for all future girls nights, which means if you're not working. You're attending." Y/n grins nuzzling down against him.

They all fall into a silence Charles actually finds himself pulled into the movie with the rest of the girls.

"Ahhhh...Ryan Reynolds is godly. I don't know how anyone can say this is realistic. There's no ways Sandra Bullock would turn him away otherwise." Melody declares making Amaya roll her eyes.

"A man's body is not all it's about, Melody."

"No, but it's not a bad addition." Melody smirks then looking at y/n. "Isn't that right, y/n?"

"Please stop talking." Y/n groans while Charles tries to hide how flattered he is. "Anyway, the appeal about Ryan in this movie is more about how much of a gentleman he is."

"That's true." Ruby seconds with Amaya agreeing.

"She's not wrong. Maybe you should focus on going to men because they're nice not just because they look nice." Amaya states to Melody who hums.

"Maybe Charles has some friends he could let me get to know." Melody smirks and just as he's about to speak y/n stops him.

"He is not here to set you up with someone, Melody. Behave." Y/n scolds then looking at Charles. "And don't you dare subject your friends to being set up with Melody. She's a heartbreaker."

"Y/n, that's horrible." Charles scolds but Melody surrenders her hands.

"No, but she's right." Melody admits then sighing. "But if I had a Ryan Reynolds, I'd never break his heart."

"Poor Ryan, he'd be stuck with her for life like the rest of us." Amaya giggles then squealing when Melody reaches over Ruby to flick her ear. "Ruby, you're suppose to be a barrier to protect me."

"You earned that one."

The friends bicker like sisters and it's obvious who the problem child is - Melody, who the peacekeeper is - mostly Ruby, who the instigator is - Amaya and who generally tries to keep out the arguments - y/n. Charles is loving just watching them in their natural habitat.

When The Proposal ends they move onto Bridesmaids where Charles is both enlightened to learn all four of the girls love the Scottish accent and find it undeniably attractive. He may have been mildly insulted that his girlfriend gave him a pity pat on the arm when Ruby throws a "no offence" about him not being blessed with a Scottish accent.

By the time they get to 13 Going On 30, a debate about turning 30 and how much they either dread or look forward to it. There's also a debate about whether they'd do what TomTom did and betray the magazine to get a better job at a more successful magazine.

"What would you do Charles?" Melody questions making everyone turn to the F1 driver but y/n has an answer for him already.

"Charles is loyal. He'd stay with the magazine and help them bring it back to life. Isn't that right baby?"

"Yes, that's right." Charles smiles knowing y/n is referring to how he treats Ferrari and his loyalty to them.

Taglist: @namgification @hiireadstuff @jsjcue @geniusalpaca @itsjustkhaos @llando4norris @partyinpitlane @lpab @xoscar03 @thehufflepuffavenger1

#f1 #fanfic #formula 1 #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc x you #charles f1 #leclerc #cl16 fluff #cl16 #cl16 x reader #cl16 imagine #cl16 x you #cl16 fic #cl16 fanfic #cl16 x y/n #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #ferrari #f1 2024 #formula one #scuderia ferrari #forza ferrari

[microclown]

I was rewatching s1e3 and something finally clicked for me..

Please forgive me if this seems obvious to you. It helps me to type out my thoughts, but I'm sure I'm just an idiot and no one else needs this explained to them, lol. That said - I was always slightly confused by the emotional weight of the holy water arc during the flashback sequence. Particularly I was confused by how angry Crowley got when Aziraphale referred to their relationship as fraternizing in the 1862 fight. I mean, "to associate or form a friendship with someone, especially when one is not supposed to" is exactly what they are doing, right? So why the 80 year breakup?

Crowley says he wants the holy water for if "it" all goes pear shaped. The phrasing is necessarily vague, and could mean lots of things. Since I know what he eventually uses it for, I was thinking about it in the context of Armageddon, or maybe more generally and vaguely about Crowley not always choosing to go along with Hell, and associating with Aziraphale. But there was not much reason for Crowley to already be thinking about Armageddon back then.

As we know from the full diary entry Neil posted, the timeline of the Edinburgh entry, and the cut bookshop opening scene, it seems like Crowley and Aziraphale were spending A LOT of time together by the 1800's. When Crowley is pulled back down to Hell in 1827, he learns that Hell is paying more attention to him than he'd previously thought. Crowley realizes at this point that spending so much time with Aziraphale is actively putting him in real danger. He recognizes that, and instead of breaking things off, or seeing Aziraphale less, he doubles down. If this relationship is dangerous, then he wants the tools to fight for it.

That's what I think I didn't get about the holy water request. It's not just general insurance, it's specifically insurance for if Hell finds out about him and Aziraphale. It's also a super vulnerable request because in making it, Crowley is openly acknowledging how important their relationship is to him. Aziraphale casually brings up the arrangement at the beginning of the conversation, and that's part of it, right? Because the whole basis of their relationship is the arrangement. It continues to be the pretense under which they meet, despite the relationship clearly having developed beyond that. And the arrangement, as Crowley proposed it in 537, is born out of convenience, and the assumption that Heaven and Hell would never notice anyway.

Crowley's request for insurance breaks that facade. He's acknowledging that it's not convenient, or safe, but he wants to do it anyway, despite the risk.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, is not ready for the screen to be taken away so abruptly. To make it worse, he assumes Crowley wants the holy water as an escape, rather than a weapon. Suddenly he is confronted with both the danger their association poses, and the idea that Crowley might choose to take his own life. He can't imagine the guilt of being directly responsible for the latter.

I also think the strength of his own emotional response to the thought of losing Crowley catches Aziraphale off guard. He hasn't admitted to himself how much he actually cares, and it scares him. Worrying about Heaven is more comfortable and familiar, so he falls back on that and switches to "If they knew I'd been... fraternizing!"

But bringing up the threat of Heaven reads to Crowley as Aziraphale saying "You may be willing to put yourself at risk for the sake of our relationship, but I am not." The word choice of "fraternizing" comes off as a dismissive and demeaning way to describe a relationship that Crowley just admitted he would risk his life for.

It's an unintentionally deep cut when Crowley is already at his most vulnerable, and so he lashes out. As far as we've seen, this is possibly the first time Crowley has truly lashed out at Aziraphale. So yeah, 80 year breakup makes sense!

And what makes this so much worse is what happens next. Crowley reaches out again in 1941 with a dramatic gesture (rescuing Aziraphale from the Nazis, saving his books). It's clear they've missed each other. They don't discuss the fight, but it's there subtextually. Aziraphale, tentatively and thrillingly, refers to them as friends, for the first time ever. He tells Crowley that he trusts him.

And then, that very same night their worst fears are confirmed. Just when they've finally reconciled a fight over the dangers of their relationship, and just when Aziraphale has finally admitted that it is not a relationship of convenience, but genuine friendship, they are exposed. Crowley is going to face punishment from Hell, explicitly for being Aziraphale's "trusted confident", and he doesn't have insurance. If Aziraphale's trick hadn't succeeded, Crowley would have had no way to protect himself.

idk it just makes me feel things ok

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #aziracrow

[lesbianstarlightglimmer]

Update I talked to my mom about it and as per usual she made everything stupid and worse lmao

#meows #me: I was upset bc I feel like we finally have a choice in what to eat and we #aren’t taking it bc we spend so much time tiptoeing around #f*ther #who isn’t here for dinner bc of work #*goes on for a bit about how I feel I have a choice w food now #and it feels like she cares more about his dietary concerns than any of ours* #her: goes on a rant about my weight #completely ignoring how I said I’ve gained weight bc #I’m having a somewhat unhealthy taste of freedom #where I can pick what I want instead of worrying how pissed it’s gonna make #someone #she only hit 2/3 on her usual arguments to make #she didn’t mention her dead sister for once #but then I got the guilt trip and the religious bs #this is why I don’t try to express my feelings w them #again!! the whole point is it feels like even days he isn’t here #we’re still tiptoeing!! how can she not see the problem #w tiptoeing around her fucking husband????