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paperburrows · 3 years

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Under the Influence

based on this nifty idea by @epiclamer, hope u like 💘✨🧸🌹

cw: mention of drug abuse

Heaving the villain to an isolated alleyway felt like the hardest battle the hero had ever had. And they’d been to a lot of battles.

“I can’t believe you’d do this to yourself,” the hero bit out as the villain collapsed onto cold, unforgiving pavement, the deep breaths a likely attempt of excising whatever the hell they’d put in their body.

They’d promised themself they wouldn’t. That they’d hold their tongue in the wake of the villain’s slurred speech, uneven gait, clammy skin. But the hero could only tolerate self-sabotage so much, and the sight of the villain barely just managing to sit themself upright all but added to the tension in their muscles.

“Why?” the hero asked.

“God,” came the villain’s answer. “Just shut the fuck up.”

Maybe they should.

Moments of awkward silence as the hero slumped down next to the villain, watching nothing of any particular consequence, awaiting their peculiar companion to regain homeostasis—or as much of a semblance as you could get while under the influence of something. The hero wouldn’t know.

But they’d heard stories. And they knew different people responded to different things. Some were sad, others a giggling mess. This version of the villain looked thoroughly done with the whole situation. Because of the hero’s intervention or their current state, the hero couldn’t tell, but either way, they weren’t planning to stick around for longer than they had—

“Why?” the villain asked.

The hero’s head shot up. “Why, what?”

“Why come for me? Why bother to get me out of there?” Every word seemed as though it was taking every iota of the villain’s energy, but it was no surprise that they didn’t let that stop them. “What are your intentions?”

That question needed no pause. “I don’t have any.”

A snort, and then a cough, and then a sniffle. “Bullshit. Everyone has intentions.” Eyes at once clear and hazy nailed the hero in place. “You have some sort of savior fantasy? You want to think you’re a good person?”

“No . . . not at all.”

And yet one beat of hesitation was all an unsteady, unfiltered villain needed to crack that unnerving smirk of theirs.

“Liar, liar,” they sang—right before dissolving into a fit of coughs.

The hero bristled, in spite of knowing better, that there was no fighting with someone drugged halfway out of their mind. “I’m not. I just didn’t want to see you go out like this, that’s all. No one deserves to.”

“Not even big, bad guys?”

“I said no one, didn’t I? And please don’t call yourself ‘big’ and ‘bad.’”

Surprisingly enough, the villain served no wisecrack to that.

In its stead, at some idle length, something along the lines of a very mumbled, very reluctant “Thanks.”

And as if that weren’t strange enough, a newfound thrum behind the hero’s chest, coupled with that look on the villain’s face, pushed them to entwine hands with the villain. Sort of in fleeting solidarity. Kind of because they couldn’t deny wanting to themself. “Don’t thank me. I wouldn’t have left you alone in there no matter what.”

This time around, the silence was tranquil, broken every now and again only by the villain’s since-calmer exhales.

Until the villain was leaning in.

For a kiss, the hero realized in horror, when the gleam of strobe lights in the villain’s eyes could no longer distract them from their flushed cheeks.

The speed with which the hero pushed away could have given them whiplash.

“What the hell are you doing?”

The villain blinked, a deer caught in headlights.

“I . . . I dunno.” Another blink. “I thought—”

“You thought wrong. I’d never take advantage of you like that.”

The laugh the villain mustered was void of humor. “Because you’re just so perfect.”

“Because I care about you.”

And because this would ruin everything. The city would never forgive them. And they’d never quite confronted the idea of trading a city’s adoration for a villain’s love.

Their fingers undid themselves from the villain’s.

“We’re just not that kind of story,” the hero said. “I’m sorry.”

The villain smiled, retreated into their space. “I see.”

Then they threw up on the hero’s shoes.

#cw: mention of drug abuse #I j saw this and my muse went NOW NOW NOW #I HAD SO MANY IDEAS FOR THIS TOO but I contained myself #going from no posts in like a month to two in two days bc what’s consistency ♥️♥️#:)#villain x hero #hero x villain #villains and heroes #heroes and villains #writeblr #my writing #mine

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talas-starlight · 4 years

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Killing me softly - Sokka x reader

SUMMARY: Having only heard good things about Sokka, you always wanted to see how great he is for yourself. When you finally get the opportunity, you struggle to find him as funny as everyone said.

This is based off the song killing me softly by the fugees which you can listen to: here! or there is a version by zhavia: here!

I strongly suggest you listen to the song because I think the whole vibe you get from it will get you in the mindset for this (and hopefully distract you from how poorly this was executed AHAH)

WORD COUNT: 2.6k

WARNINGS: angsty vibes. tried to have a hopeful ending but idk if it worked lol. poor writing skills.

A/N: ahA I really couldn’t get this idea out of my head so here we are! most certainly did not do this concept/ song fic justice to the way I imagined it but lol this shit low key hurted my feelings but also tried to turn it around? Idk I think this is okay?

KEY: words in-between dividers = lyrics MY MASTERLIST: here!

I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style And so I came to see him, to listen for a while And there he was, this young boy, a stranger to my eyes

You knew nothing and everything about him all at the same time. Hakoda allowed you to join them as they recruited people across the nations to prepare for invasion day. In doing so, you unknowingly signed a non-verbal contract to hear all the stories and jokes about his son, Sokka. Of course, he spoke highly of his daughter, but there was an unrelenting sense of pride and joy that came with hearing about him.

“You’ll really enjoy speaking with him y/n. He can take any dull or sad moment and turn it into something that will make you laugh beyond your years. He’s been through so much, but he’s become the warrior I knew he was always destined to be.”

It was impossible not to want to meet him. You wanted to hear the stories in the flesh as he became the light in the darkness of this war.

Yet when he finally boarded the ship with his friends after Ba Sing Se, that’s all he became, a story. As a mechanic and strategist, your time was booked to the brim, building upon the plans Sokka created himself. Somehow, you managed to have interactions with Katara and Toph, even Momo, but being in the same room as Sokka? Impossible. You weren’t avoiding him by any means, and neither was he, it just seemed that even when confined to the space of a ship your duties dragged both of you into different directions…. Until now.

Finally having time to relax as you finished reviewing a draft for one segment of the invasion, you made your way mess hall in a desperate search to consume any food you could get your hands on. Walking in, Toph perked up at feeling your presence when entering the room. Considering you were always busy when working on something and she was not too chatty, you got along well with minimal conversations and comfortable silence.

You grab a bowl, filling it to the brim with fresh soup and sat at their table across from her. Feeling content as you feel the soups warm and wholesome scent fill your senses, you glance around to see who else is sitting at the table. Eyes zeroing in on Sokka’s frame at the other end of the table, your breath instantly hitches. Suddenly your face feels as warm as your soup, and you want to kick yourself for letting yourself be so affected just by your incredibly short glance at him. Shifting your focus back to your soup you make the painfully obvious decision to focus all of your attention towards it, only listening to their interactions around you. You reminded yourself that you didn’t truly know him, only what everyone else has told you. You knew better than to let yourself become a total fool for the Watertribe boy without having any proper interactions with him. Hence, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t at the edge of your seat in anticipation to see Sokka joke around and tell stories with your friends. After all, that is what you were told about from the moment you met his father.

Strumming my pain with his fingers (one time, one time) Singing my life with his words (two times, two times) Killing me softly with his song Killing me softly with his song Telling my whole life with his words Killing me softly with his song

The excitement quickly dissipated when he began to dive into this evenings’ jokes and anecdotes.

“Guys! You wouldn’t believe it!! I was exploring the ship after training today, and I found all of these Fire Nation scrolls about their art and folktales in one of the rooms, and let me tell you, it’s a load of shit!”

As everyone laughed, you momentarily stopped breathing. Your entire being began to fold into itself, terrified at the prospect of him taking all of the things you favoured about your childhood and rip them to pieces.

Katara attempted to see the light in his statement. “Come on Sokka it can’t be that bad! I mean even the Watertribe has some questionable stories, I remember even the one Gran Gran told was a bit-“

“No, Katara! This is by far soooo much suckier than those stories. Okay, so there’s this one about dragons right? What happens is that there’s this Dragon Emperor who becomes bound to a mortal’s body by a Dark Water Spirit. So obviously! I was expecting this super cool battle or revenge plot, but in the end, they turned it into this lame love story where the Dragon Emperor falls in love with a mortal who turns out to be the Dragon Empress!”

“Aw I think that’s sweet! I mean surely there would have been a battle with the Dark Water Spirit so it wouldn’t have been a total loss?”

“Ugh, Katara! You don’t get it! It's just… sooooo oogie! They shouldn’t have done that. It should have been a story about battle, and warriors! I mean come on, that’s all the Fire Nation is good for right? Destruction and battle. So why did they have to ruin that story like that with all of that lovey stuff?! It just seems like nothing good can ever come out of the Fire Nation.”

Taking another mouthful of the soup, you kept your face downward as everyone laughed at Sokka’s exclamation of hatred for the nation you grew up in. No one knew where you grew up there except Hakoda, and you liked it that way. In complete fairness to you, it wasn’t your entire identity since your mother was from the Earth Kingdom, and you only spent the first seven years of your life there. But that didn’t mean it hurt any less when he tore apart the only things you dearly loved as a child.

Toph sensing your discomfort as you didn’t join in their amusement, she swiftly diverted the conversation into a new direction. While you were grateful, the thought of being in his presence any longer made you want to cry. It clearly didn’t work either as he continued to joke around about the food and other small things he picked up about the nation throughout their journey. Silently finishing up, you didn’t say a word or even give a half-hearted smile as they all laughed. Placing your bowl in the sink, you headed straight to your room.

The actions made everyone at the table confused, yet no one spoke out about it. Afterall, no one really knew you personally, nor did they understand what caused you to cut your interaction with them so short. Sokka himself became particularly curious. Afterall just like you, he heard many great things about you from his father, admiring your kindness and work ethic from afar. So, to say he wasn’t hurt that you chose not to stay longer or even crack a genuine smile, would be a lie.

Making it to your room, you took out any piece of paper or a scroll you used for your plans and began to pour out your pain onto to pages until you passed out from exhaustion. Not caring what contents were on the other side, you allowed yourself to be unfiltered.

You knew Sokka didn’t mean any harm; everyone laughed. He became the light you oh so desired to witness for yourself. Deep down, you knew you would have laughed too if it weren’t for the fact that he took the few happy memories you had with your father and set it on fire. A fire that produced the light you wished to see… but it seemed it wasn’t in the right way you hoped for.

I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd I felt he'd found my letters and read each one out loud I prayed that he would finish, but he just kept right on

You sighed as you finally finished fixing the pipes in the lower decks of the ship, once again tired and done with today’s work, you went to the mess hall for a late dinner.

“Hey Hakoda, I finished the plumbing problem so no one on the second floor should have any troubles now.”

“Thanks, y/n! You really are such a valuable person in this team. You’re always making sure everything is up and running.”

“Of course! What would you do without me? After all, let’s not forget how I spend my free time with your invasion plans.” You joked.

Turning your back to him to scoop some food onto your plate, he spoke up from behind you. “Oh right! That reminds me, I mentioned your ideas to Sokka earlier, and he seemed to really like them! But Sokka being Sokka, he got so excited over them and asked so many questions I didn’t even know how to respond. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know he’s probably at your desk analysing all of your scrolls right now. That kid never seems to be able to contain his excitement.”

“Yeah, that’s oka-“abruptly, you dropped your plate as your brain processed the information. If he was looking at your plans, then that meant……

Not even giving the Watertribe chief another glace or end to your response, you ran. Taking the fastest route to your room, everything in your mind and your surroundings became blurred, and you became hyper-focused on the fact that Sokka probably found what you wrote about him. Desperately trying not to cry as you bumped into people in the hallways, you couldn’t think of anything worse to happen in this very moment. The very idea of him knowing how you felt about him as well as how his words affected you made you want to scream. Maybe if you got there in time, he wouldn’t have read enough to understand your feelings fully. But when you bust through your door, it was too late. Sokka stood near your desk, with all the scrolls you ever wrote on scattered around the room. Some lay on your bed, the floor, across the desk, and even one in his hands.

“M- my dad said that you had a lot of perfect ideas for the invasion. B- but I- I found… I never thought…” His eyes never met yours as he continued to read the current scroll in his hands.

You slowly approached him, not caring as you walked over every word you wrote on the floor. “Sokka…” You silently begged him to stop reading, unsure of its contents.

He kept reading clearly in shock at the words before him, “why didn’t you s-say something?”

You sighed, somewhat unsure of how to approach the situation. “It’s not my place –“

He threw the scroll to the ground, finally looking up at you with bloodshot eyes as tears streamed down his face. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT YOUR PLACE Y/N! It is your place! You had… no, you HAVE every right to say something! You sat there that night as I picked away at every single thing you ever loved, and you didn’t say a thing! Why would you let me do that to you!” Sobs wracked his body, falling to his knees in front of you. Torn apart on the inside about how much he hurt you. He never wanted this to happen, not just because of his small crush on you- that didn’t matter at this very moment. The very idea that he hurt someone who was so kind and selfless as a person, ruined him.

Beginning to feel immensely guilty for his current state, you knelt down to his level. Placing your hands to his wrists, you gently moved his hands away from his face. “Sokka… hey, Sokka look at me…”

As he looked at you, you struggled to keep your composure as tears began to fill your own eyes.

“It’s okay. What you said hurt, I don’t need to explain that for you to know it. Even though it felt like a small dig into who I am as a person and what I grew up to love, it’s true. What the Fire Nation did, what they are doing is awful, but I can’t speak up to defend them. I am in many ways apart of them. I grew up there, I celebrated their holidays, cooked and ate their food, and read their folktales. As much as I hate what the words ‘Fire Nation’ symbolises to the rest of the world, to you, it’s a part of who I am. No one can take that away from me, not even myself. Despite how much it hurt me, I can’t get mad at you or anyone because your feelings, and everything you said, is valid.” Moving his arms out of your grasp, he wrapped himself around you, holding you close to his chest.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve to hear that, you’re amazing y/n. You deserve to be treated with the kindness and love you give to everyone on this ship. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I’m going to be better, I promise. I promise.” Overcome with emotion, the tears you tried so hard to hold back burst at his words.

Neither you nor Sokka bothered to move from your intertwined embrace on the floor of your room. You were both a sobbing, crying mess. The pain from both of you suffocated the air around you as you cling onto one another for forgiveness.

Forgiveness for being from the very place that caused him so much pain.

Forgiveness for being unable to embrace so much of who you are.

The pain was unrelenting as he weaved his fingers through your hair, shifting so your noses’ and foreheads against one another as he whispered words begging for forgiveness. Wishing, praying, to the Spirits he could take it all away. Sokka’s heart burns from the raging pain that has awoken inside of him. He doesn’t stop running his fingers through your hair almost as if he can stroke away the broken pieces inside of you, looking for new ones underneath so he can start again. Because despite his resentment for where you came from, he knows that to him, you are like a divine angel. You both have your own complex and conflicting backgrounds of life, but he has a desperate desire to care for you in a way he will never be able to explain.

You wanted to lie to him. Say it didn’t hurt, say you could forget. You could do it easily, but you wouldn’t. Knowing you both suffered enough, you didn’t want to do something that could potentially cause each other more pain. This was enough. As you both continued to cry, holding one another with his hands still in your hair, you leant back slightly, bringing a shaky, tender hand to his cheek.

Looking up into his eyes, it’s awfully evident how much pain swims in his beautiful shades of blue. Yet, there seems to be an unspoken understanding as you see a small glimmer behind all the tears. The light you have been yearning for. He sees it in your eyes too. Neither of you can change or take back what’s already been said, but in this very moment there’s hope. You know you can move forward and heal together.

“We’re going to be okay.”

A/N: hi friends!! I hope you liked this one 😊

TO THE TAGLIST: hi all! i was a bit torn on what to do here because i wasn’t sure if you all only wanted to be tagged in my zuko series or my other works as well?? so im so sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged in this so please just let me know if you’d only like to be on the list for the series, zuko, sokka or other characters in general :)

TAGLIST: @slythergirlimagines @mangoberry43 @eridanuswave @whiskeywinter89 @kaylove12 @simplyfandomish @khaleesi-of-assassins @callums-keith @ilovespideyyy @calciumcow @blackhood5sos @nnon-it-up

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purpleyellow · 4 years

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Asking again

Seventeen 14th member

Hayun’s masterlist

“Movie night gets interrupted”

a/n: Feel free to let me know your thoughts as well as send me some requests💙. Ask box is also open to random chats. Look at hiimmmmm i love him smmmm

“Someone’s calling you,” Jun said without taking his eyes off the tv, his hands still massaging Hayun’s feet who only looked at her phone on the coffee table and hummed without making any efforts to pick it up. “You’re not going to check it?”

“It’s off-work hours, whoever it is can wait until tomorrow” She mumbled, still engrossed in the movie. The vibrations of the phone clearly not bothering her as much as it was bothering the boy.

“I’ll do it myself then” He groaned taking her feet off his lap and getting her phone, but before he could press the decline button the flashing name got his attention “Jackson Wang is facetiming you”

“He can try again tomorrow” Hayun sat up quickly and took the phone from his hands, ending the call almost instantly. As if nothing had happened, she laid back down on the couch and got the controller “Great, now we’ll have to rewatch this whole scene again”

“Don’t bother, this is boring” Jun sat this time unlocking his own phone and scrolling through some messages. “Why didn’t you answer him?”

“If it’s urgent he’ll call again” Hayun picked her nails and got ready to go to her room. The moment her feet touched the ground Jun held her arm and turned his phone to her.

The screen showed his chat with Jackson and with her mediocre understanding of Chinese, she read some of his messages asking Jun different questions that went from which restaurant was her favorite to what kind of flowers she preferred.

Hayun felt a hole opening on her stomach at the fact that he cared so much about those details yet it didn’t miss her attention that most of the answers he got were “I don’t know” or “She doesn’t have one”, because, in reality, she didn’t care that much about those things to mind sharing them with others.

“He’s growing desperate, if you’re going to turn him down at least do it sooner” Jun raised an eyebrow as she read over the texts.

“I didn’t say I was going to turn him down” The girl mumbled, handing back his phone. “It’s just… Doesn’t this feel rushed to you?”

“No?” Jun answered uncertain “If the story you told me was right, he asked you on a date, so the next step is the actual date itself”

“Award show season is starting, we should at least wait for it to be over, you know” She groaned resting her head on the couch.

“Once it’s over we’ll go back on tour. Do whatever you want, I just think it’s mean to play with him” He crossed his arms like a child and Hayun kicked his leg.

“I’m going to answer him at some point, today was the first day he called” She rolled her eyes trying to convince both him and herself it wasn’t a big deal.

“And how many times has he called you already?” The boy smirked at her nonchalant expression.

“Just three” As she said that her phone started ringing again. “Now four. I’m telling you if he calls a fifth time I’m giving up on him, he’s too clingy”

“You’re clingy too, see, a match made in heaven. And he’s not calling a fifth time because you’re answering him now. Do it or I’ll tell Wonwoo and he’ll have this whole conversation about you-”

“Hey what’s up” Hayun spoke as casually as possible while rolling her eyes at Jun, who gave her a thumbs up but didn’t bother to move from his spot.

“Hi, are you busy?” Jackson smiled on her screen and his voice was as energetic as ever despite the missed calls he just went through.

“Not really, I was watching a movie with Jun, sorry I ignored you the other times,” She said sincerely and the boy on the couch frowned at how transparent she was being.

“Hay, I know you’re not too keen on this but-”

“No, no, I am. Just- wait a minute please” Looking at Jun, who watched everything from the front roll, Hayun muted the call and lowered her phone, nodding to the hallway with her chin“Can you leave?”

“I don’t feel like it” Jun smiled innocently, making her face drop even more.

“I’ll tell you everything after, just please” She rolled her eyes and kicked his thigh until the boy got up.

“Okay, bye” Jun screamed loud enough for Jackson to hear and zoomed out of the room.

“I understand if you felt pressured to accept my offer and are rethinking it” He began right as she unmuted him and something about the disappointed tone in his voice made her feel bad.

“Can I just explain myself for a moment?” Hayun sighed shifting on the couch until she was upside down, her head hanging off the seat “I’m going to say the unfiltered truth so if you don’t want to hear me rambling just hang up”

“I’m all ears” Jackson sighed and leaned his phone against something, allowing for her to check out what she assumed was his room.

“I try to be friendly to everyone. That’s mostly because I don’t want people to be uncomfortable around me, and I understand that to some it’s too much, or it looks like I have second intentions but the truth is there isn’t.” Her words left her mouth at a record speed making it a little hard for him to catch up at first, so when she did a little break and he had a minor idea of where she was going for Jackson butted in.

“Is this about jealousy? Because if you’re scared I’m going to be jealous and get mad at you for it you can forget it, I know how you are and I don’t need you to change anything about yourself”

“That’s not where I was going to but, aww thanks” She cooed and he rolled his eyes making her clean her throat “What I mean is I don’t know how to go on dates and do the romantic stuff everyone likes. I get awkward when things start to get serious and most of the time I let people down because the flirty image they have of me doesn’t go further than just playing around”

Silence reigned for a few seconds after she poured her heart out and through his phone Jackson could understand she had set up expectations for herself that even he didn’t think was a big deal.

“If I asked you out it surely wasn’t because I thought you fit into my criteria of a perfect girlfriend. I want to get to know you better, see how things play out, and, hopefully, we’ll get together ” He shook his head frowning “I like you enough to know that where the location is and how it goes doesn’t matter to me. If you don’t have a place in mind let me pick somewhere lowkey and we’ll hang out normally, we don’t even have to call it a date if that makes you uncomfortable”

“But… you wanted one” The girl shifted due to the rush of blood to her head and sat up normally.

“I want to hang out, just me and you, because we haven’t done that yet” Jackson smirked. “We don’t need to take things fast, but again, I’m just asking you to give me a chance”

“I already did dummy” She breathed out confused and he rolled his eyes.

“You thought you were getting yourself into a situation you aren’t comfortable with, that doesn’t apply to this situation” He shook his head crossing his arms and then smiling welcomingly “Do you agree to go out with me without any pressure”

“I wasn’t pressured the first time for your information” Hayun smiled mischievously “But again, yes, let’s do it”

“Well, now there isn’t anyone around if you want to turn me down, just say something in the next five seconds,” He said with wide eyes and she shook her head denying it “Okay. You, Kim Hayun, just scored a good hang out session with Jackson Wang.” He sang along making the girl laugh and rest her head on her arm.

“You’re dumb”

“And you are amazing, just these few minutes getting to know you better got me excited for Friday” He winked at her

“Friday?” Hayun screamed shocked at how quick he established a date but before she could say anything else Jackson ended the call.

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gold-and-rubies · 3 years

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Hiding Behind Sunglasses

This is a repost!

Deacon laid on a couch in the house at Kingsport Lighthouse as Whisper administered some radaway to him. The place had been crawling with Children of Atom bastards armed to the teeth with gamma guns. Neither of them had been hurt too badly, but he had taken enough rads to need treatment. The rads made him feel sick to his stomach, and the medicine was not much better.

"You know, you wouldn't need the meds of you hadn't decided to become a meat shield, right?" Whisper asked. Her tone was mostly sarcastic and teasing, but there were undertones of concern.

"Becoming a ghoul was my next disguise for your information. It's been a while since the last time I was. Not the most fun disguise I've done though," he replied, trying to lighten the mood.

"Not sure it's much better than your current one," she said.

"And what would that be, my dear friend?" He asked. He sat up to make room for her on the couch and did his best to offer up a cheesy smile. It was not only the rads and meds that made it difficult. He was finding more and more difficult to not show her how he really felt. Good or bad, she made him want to be truthful for once.

She looked at him, trying to look through his shades to meet his eyes with her own. Those damn eyes that could see right through every word and mask.

"Meat shield," she said simply. Her voice was now firm and serious, "you keep diving in between me and the baddies when you don't need to. Why?"

For once he did not know what to say immediately. She was not wrong, he had been throwing himself between her, and every damn threat they came across. It was happening more and more and more. At first he had tried to convince himself that it was because she was more important than he was. Sure, his role as a spy was unique, and it would be near impossible to properly replace him, but that got nowhere near her role. She was going to infiltrate the Institute. But it was a lot harder to lie to himself than others.

He eventually admitted to himself that he genuinely cared about her, as much as he did not want to. He trusted her more than anybody else, and could call her a true friend without it being even remotely close to a lie. He had told her about his past, about the UP Death laws, about Barbara, about what he did. No one else knew, but her, and when she reacted by comforting him instead of ridiculing him, that was the moment he was too far gone.

It took him even longer to admit how he actually felt. He had tried to sum it up to nothing more than physical attraction. That they were just good friends, and all the playful flirting was just banter. That she was just a buddy that he happened to think was hot. Then he would find himself admiring her kindness, determination, strength, all the good qualities that made her stand out from the rest. He found himself adoring all her little quirks. The way she sang or hummed quietly to herself when she was focused, or how expressive she was with her hands. He found himself simply wanting to be near her all the time. He wanted to hold her tight and keep her safe, no matter the cost. He loved her.

He wanted to tell her the truth about how he felt, but he was scared that if it were real he would lose her, just like everyone and everything else. When he had lost Barbara he had broke, and he did not want to shatter beyond repair.

So as he sat there, staring at her through tinted glass, he did what he did best. He lied.

"Thinkin' about becoming a body guard when I retire. Done a pretty damn good job so far, don't you think?"

Her gaze did not falter. It never faltered.

"If you're gonna try to lie to me, you're going to have to try harder," she said. He swore his imagination was acting up, because it seemed like she had leaned closer to him.

He turned away from her. He felt like if he held her stare any longer he would turn to ash, even with the sunglasses to protect him.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I am the most honest person you have ever met. I'm a little offended if I'm being honest, which I am," he joked.

"Deacon," she said. He could suddenly feel her body heat along his side. She had leaned closer.

"I'm worried about you."

Those words were death sentence, because when he heard them he turned back to her and saw just how close she had gotten. Their noses were only an inch apart.

"Fine, Dez wants me to keep you alive at all costs," he offered. It was partly true. She did want that, but that was not why he was acting the way he was, and Whisper knew it.

"That's only half true, and you know it. If you want me to believe you, you need to look me in the eyes."

He knew what she meant. Under other circumstances he would not have necessarily minded if she had seen him without the glasses. He had even been meaning to show her his eyes, the one thing about him he never changed. It would have been the ultimate show of trust for him, but now it only meant certain doom.

"I am."

"Without the shades, Deacon."

He did nothing for a moment trying to think if there was some way out. If there was it would only delay the inevitable, he realized. She would not leave him alone after this. He would have to come clean at some point.

He slowly raised his hand up, and removed his glasses. He stared into her eyes unfiltered for the first time. They were even more beautiful than before, and more intense.

The moment he saw those eyes he lost all self control. His words would never be as honest as his actions. So instead of doing what she asked and telling her the truth, he showed her.

He closed the gap, and kissed her. He was gentle, far more gentle than he would have thought possible, but he wanted her to be able to pull away, even if it hurt him. She did not. Instead she responded just as gently.

When he finally pulled back she spoke before he did.

"I love you too."

A large smile spread across his face, a genuine one. The heat that came from the fear of rejection cooled to a warm feeling.

"I'm scared of losing you." He confessed. It was the truth she had been looking for.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me for a long time," she said, smiling.

"How will I ever get by?" He teased, before kissing her again, firmer this time.

Fear be damned. This was worth the possibility of heart ache.

#fallout #fanfiction #fanfic #fallout 4 #fo4 #oneshot #deacon x sole survivor #deacon fo4 #deacon fallout 4 #female sole survivor #sole survivor #request

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hoshigomi · 4 years

Text

Kurenai-ing! a (not) review~

This is NOT a review, but it IS all my thoughts on Kurenai Yuzuru’s first concert as an OG, Kurenai-ing!! in chronological order as they happened in the show. These thoughts are:

Biased

All over the place

Unfiltered

Honest

Every single one of them is loving and positive

Without further ado!

To start off, from the day this was announced, there was absolutely No Way In Hell I was going to miss this show. They found a way to cast all my favorite OGs, somehow including Uzuki Hayate who wasn’t even ever IN Hoshigumi, (save for Airi and Kai, F, but I see Kai like every day). Today was emotionally weird and I felt off heading to the theatre but honestly, before the lights even went down, when BENIKO began her preshow speech over the intercom? Any bad thing that’s ever been in my life just MELTED away.

The evening started off with “紅 in Male Role” which was just her as you’re used her her in otokoyaku mode. The whole cast got introduced. My love, Ichijou Azusa was the first onstage which rocked. Everyone did Killer Rouge. There was something REALLY sweet about seeing like a bunch of people who Were in Killer Rouge vs. a bunch of people who Weren’t In Killer Rouge all slaying it. Watching Toshi do this number made me daydream about a universe where she was in Hoshigumi and also a universe where I’m married to her. This daydream repeated itself multiple times throughout the evening so I’m gonna denote those moments with a (**). Whenever you see (**) know I was thinking about being probably married to Uzuki Hayate. This was the only point in the show in which I was skeptical of the men being there. I don’t LIKE men, period, but I especially don’t need them in my Takarazuka- adjacent material. (They quickly changed my mind in the next bit of the show.) After the men and Beni all dipped offstage, our Lovely Flawless Incredible OGs (Ichijou Azusa, Kisaragi Ren, Uzuki Hayate, Toa Reiya, Katori Reira, and Umesaki Eve, sang Sayonara Minasama (yeah like... the song they play when people retire or when QR is closing or when they need you to Get Out Of The Theatre.) No one could hear it because everyone was busy laughing. Renta was, as expected, completely unhinged, Shiiran was fake crying, it was a disaster because honestly, I don’t know who looked at these women and was like ‘yeah let’s give them free reign of the stage what’s the worst that could happen?’ It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen, and then, the curtain just straight up went down as if the show ended.

Of course it DIDN’T. NEXT UP?

BENIKO! She’s back in all her long haired leopard print glory, strutting through the audience through the stage- this time waiting for her? two pieces of mancandy (Kominami Ryuhei and Tagoku Tsubasa) at her beck and call in the ??? PALACE OF VERSAILLES, I GUESS? This was, as all Beniko bits, an improv standup show with a more than a touch of drag sensibility. There was some booty shaking, some fake muscle suits on the slender men, and a lot of laughter. I had tears in my eyes and I have NEVER heard a Japanese audience make this much noise. One of the guys made Beni break when he laughed in the middle of his line, causing Beni to buckle over and snort into her water, it was just.. a treat. These men were NOT equipped to handle Beniko- but then, without practice, who is?

When this all ended, there was a BURST of flame on the screen and standing, sihouetted in backlight, was Toshi(**), looking like (**) I dunno like the worlds hottest woman rockstar (**) and if that wasn’t enough (**) then she STARTED SINGING AND YOU GUYS?

WHAT THE FUCK?

I feel like a lot of things that have happened in Takarazuka are unjust, including several Top Star Careers That Never Were, but as of tonight, the TOP OF THAT LIST is that Toshi never MADE IT. Also that like I never made it to her ochakai. There is another world out there where Toshi has been My Person since day one and I am still in her fanclub to this day. I’d be lying if I told you I wasn’t like searching her name on Twitter as we speak trying to find out what Her OG club deal right now is, not that I need to be in ANOTHER OG club, (long story,), but GOD. Holy hell. Her voice is absolutely TOP notch and she was (**) BELTING out this introductory piece and I don’t think I breathed during the whole thing. It was HARD ROCK (**) you guys. (**) (**) (***********************************************************************************************)

From there we had a Takarazuka Medley (labeled in the program as “紅 in neutral”- sense a theme here?)

The medley featured bits from:

Lucky Star!

Gemini (Beni’s infamous girl/boy number from Etoile)

Bouquet de Takarazuka

Stuck Together from Catch Me If You Can, (featuring Renta as Kai’s part, which, oof, I can not wait for Kai to get to see.)

Estrellas

The theme song from Kamatari

Another World (just the first bars of this backing music got laughs)

Om Shanti Om

the God of Stars prologue (and you guys? I would have NEVER expected it but both me and the lady next to me just started CRYING once Beni kicked in with the 今！始まる！素敵な冒険！ bit. We shared a look and like laughed at ourselves. I did NOT see that coming but... more thoughts on Benigumi later. Just know that Dear Reader, I cried.)

Eclair Brillant

Bolero

A Piece of Courage

A song that the program cites as Quimbara which I actually didn’t recognize but (NSFW BELOW, DON’T LOOK IF YOU’RE UNDERAGE, DON’T LOOK IF YOU’RE HANKYU, DON’T LOOK IF YOU’RE GONNA SLIDE INTO MY DMS ABOUT ME NEEDING TO HONOR THE SUMIRE CODE OR WHATEVER because shut UP we all have DESIRES, MA’AM,) I spent the whole time with my eyes fucking transfixed on Shiiran out of everyone in the cast because between her time on the ground and her time idk standing and flirting and making bedroom eyes and like touching people with the tips of her fingers she was just in general doing some NASTY shit with her mouth and pulling girls around and I don’t know if she was playing aggressor or hard to get (or BOTH???? AT THE SAME TIME????) but she sure was grinding on Umesaki Eve and I guess what I’m trying to say is I could physically not breathe. I could say more about what she was getting up to but for like, frankly, my own dignity in this Starbucks I’m gonna leave that memory where it belongs.... in the confessional booth at church.

The medley ended with Beni doing a song from Mozart (but like, not the Mozart that Hoshigumi just did.)

I can not make this up but the program calls the next section of the show “紅 in the Flashy.”

This is where one of Tokyo’s special guests, Miya Rurika, pops up in the same rockstar style as Toshi(**) and I admit I actually thought she was Renta until the audience lost their shit. Guys, Miya looks BEAUTIFUL right now. Her and Beni both seem to be growing their hair out but right now Miya especially has this gorgeous blonde like wavy thing going on and really? Feminine makeup and honestly I was kind of transfixed by her. She sang her song and then was around forrrrrrr

All the Kurenai 5 material! Kurenai 5 (or 4, minus Tenju Mitsuki who is very much currently Acting In A Takarauka show) took over the next bit of the show was and it was every bit as precious as you’d hope. First of all, the way they play off each other is SURREAL and like nothing has changed between them. While I’m sure stuff HAS CHANGED, the love and the fun they have for and with each other has not. They encored some of their old songs, and you’ll be pleased to know that Tenju Mitsuki was present in cardboard cutout form, pushed around on a tiny wheeled platform by Katori Reira (who may I just add, along with Umesaki Eve, made every song they were in sound like there was a whole troupe worth of musumeyaku onstage. Girl can SING.) Beni turned to sneeze at one point and sneezed directly into Miya’s mic on accident. They also played a video message from Mikkii. It still took a while for the cardboard cutout to stop being funny. My favorite part of this segment was when Beni cracked Renta up and kept giving her shit until she was on the floor laughing and unable to say what she had been trying to say and then Shiiran straight up took the mic out of Renta’s hands and spoke for her. さすが、Shiiran.

The show was winding down at this point, but Beniko made a reappearance (”BENIKO in DELUSION”, according to the program). We transitioned out of that ad lib with a number for the ladies, Reira and Eve. It was boppy and jazzy and idolly and I got the idea into my head somewhere in here that Katori Reira HAS to play either Velma or Roxie in Chicago before either of us die and if I have to personally fund that happening, well, help me find my wallet because I’m off to the bank.

During this Beni changed into... not her otokoyaku clothes again but not BENIKO, just, herself, but girly. (Program calls this: 紅 in Feminine). She does a speech about herself and what she wants out of the future and whether she wants to be called a 女優 (explicitly FEMALE actress) or not post-TKZ, and somewhere in here she had a talk with Utahiroba Jun, another man who is completely and utterly obsessed with her, and rightfully so. He was a guest but didn’t actually perform aside from with EVERYONE in one song.) Beni rounds out the concert in a beautiful dress singing her heart out and I’m truly really touched by how far she’s come and how beautifully she performs.

There were, as there tend to be, like 83746958 encores(**) and people running on and off stage.

This was without a doubt one of the best nights of my life. I laughed until I cried, I straight up Normal Cried, I couldn’t Breathe for my like, unsumire thoughts, I was touched, and I was so so happy. Beni is my all-time favorite top star and probably always will be, and more than a singer or actress or dancer or comedian, Beni I think embodies the title of “entertainer” better than anyone I’ve ever personally had the pleasure to watch onstage or off. Watching her has made ME want to take more risks in performance and in life and to just do my best with everything life throws at me. Tonight she was so much of the Beni we all got to know and love in Takarazuka, but like, unleashed and able to be her truest, funniest, biggest, most loving self. Her ability to talk to the audience and everyone onstage and keep character and keep her humor and balance without missing a beat is unparalleled. I really, truly love this woman, and I am so so so happy I got to see this incredible kickoff of her OG career.

If I think of more, I’ll add it, but for now, as Beni hersef finished off the night by saying: Go your own way!!

#takarazuka #kurenai yuzuru #kurenaiing!!#ichijou azusa #kisaragi ren #uzuki hayate

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farklelucas · 7 years

Text

listen…. @biwheelers made me do this. they said ‘i have a headcanon’ and i said ‘when should i write the ficlet.’ (that’s a dramatization but you get what i mean.) this is also on ao3 because there might be a sequel already in the works??? sue me. anyways…. here’s wonderwall.

–

Mike Wheeler was a beautiful mess.

He danced like no one was watching when everyone was. He said the wrong kinds of things a little too loudly. He protected his friends like he was the only one who could. He didn’t care what people thought, unless those people were his friends, in which case, he cared way too much. He drank and he grew out his hair and he played the guitar.

And Will Byers was in love with him.

He had been in love with him for, approximately, 4,000 days and a few hours. Loving Mike Wheeler was an unstoppable force, that way - once you started, you really couldn’t stop. So was kissing, touching, holding Mike Wheeler; but he found all of that out a little while later. 4,000 days of loving Mike Wheeler can teach you things like that, when he feels the same way. Or, at least, Will was pretty sure Mike felt the same way. They shared clumsy kisses in bathroom stalls, held hands at Dungeons and Dragons meetings under the table, and talked far too late into the night on the walkie talkies they still had. Will was, at least, 75% sure that Mike Wheeler loved him back. He just… hadn’t found the courage to say it yet.

Will broke himself from thought with a shake of his head, and looked out the window of the Wheeler’s basement. It was dark out. Everybody else had gone to the dance - Lucas and Max, and Dustin and El (purely as friends). They all felt bad, too, as their friends waved goodbye to them from their front step. It was okay, Mike and Will had said. Go on without them, it was fine.

But Will could tell that Mike didn’t think it was fine. Not at all.

So Mike got drunk, and Will let him. Usually, he would say something, like to watch himself. But Will was more than willing to let him have this one - he was upset, Will could tell. Mike drank, and Will watched.

He was talking about… something. Will had zoned out; he hadn’t meant to, but Mike is a social drunk, and since Will was the only person there, all of it was focused on him. Usually, he liked all of Mike’s attention on him; but Mike didn’t seem to be talking about what he really wanted to talk about, so it was mostly just unfiltered nonsense. Will felt like the worst boyfriend.

“… and roll again,” Mike was saying, pacing back and forth in front of the staircase. Karen and Ted had gone to bed long ago, and Nancy was away at college, so Will didn’t worry too much about anyone hearing him rambling, drunk out of his mind. “But El rolls another twenty, which is, just, impossible. So Dustin, justly, accuses her of cheating, and then Max yells at Dustin -”

“Mike,” Will said quietly. Mike, almost immediately, stopped and turned to face him. “Come sit with me.”

Mike must not have been that drunk, since he joined Will on the couch in three long strides. Mike had only gotten taller since they were kids, but he was the perfect height for Will to lean his head on Mike’s shoulder, so he did. Then he interlaced their fingers, so that Mike could feel his heartbeat when they were wrist-to-wrist. Mike dipped his head to lean on Will’s, and Will sighed, mostly out of content, but also out of worry. “What’s wrong?” he asked, and it came out as more of a whisper.

He felt Mike shrug, his shoulders moving tiredly. “It’s nothing,” he said, and Will just squeezed his hand. There’s a long pause. “It’s dumb.”

Will squeezed his hand again, but this time, as more of a reprimand. “Nothing you think and feel is dumb,” he said. “You don’t have to tell me, but I’m listening.” Of course he was listening; Will was always listening.

“It’s just…” Mike trailed off, and Will waited, as Will always did. “I’m just sad. I’m just tired of… not being able to hold your hand in public. Or look at you without being afraid someone is watching. I want to go to the dance with our friends and kiss you and not be afraid of someone hurting one of us. Or dance with you, even.” Mike laughed humorlessly, and raised his head to look down at Will. Will lifted his own head, frowning back. “Is it too much to ask to kiss you in public?”

He didn’t want to answer, because Mike already knew the answer. There was nothing wrong with them, and they both knew that, and yeah, maybe they should be able to kiss and dance and hold hands like they wanted to. But maybe it was a bit too much to ask the town of Hawkins, Indiana. Maybe it was a little too much to ask of any town in Indiana. So Will swallowed and looked down at their hands, still locked together tightly. “One day,” he said, because he believed that, at least. He believed that, one day, they’d be okay. They had to be.

“One day soon?” Mike said hopefully, and Will knew that Mike was just as afraid of the answer being no as he was. So Will said nothing, just smiled sadly.

Mike sighed and disentangled their hands, standing and moving away from the couch. He shuffled over to the radio Nancy gave him last Christmas and turned it on, catching the tail end of some catchy pop song. The radio announcer came on, then, and told them cheerfully that this next song was from a boy to his girl. Mike shook his head, still annoyed, and listened as the song faded in. Drums, he could tell, and Will wasn’t quite sure what the song was, but it seemed as if Mike knew. He turned to Will and grinned, holding out a hand. “Dance with me?” he asked, and Will scoffed.

“You’re drunk,” he accused.

Mike shrugged. “Maybe a little.” He wiggled his fingers as some other instruments set into the song. “C’mon,” he said. “It’s not like anyone can see.”

Will didn’t know quite what it was about Mike Wheeler that could get him to do just about anything, but in the end, he agreed.

They met in the middle. Mike put his hands on Will’s hips, and Will managed to reach up and wrap his arms around Mike’s neck. Mike didn’t exactly tower above him, but if he moved forward a few inches, his lips would connect directly with Will’s forehead. Will smiled up at him, and Mike smiled back as the words set in.

I hear the drums echoing tonight,

But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation.

She’s coming in, 12:30 flight;

The moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation.

They swayed gently to the rhythm, and Will stepped a little closer to lay his head on Mike’s shoulder. Mike hummed, happily, and held him just a little tighter.

As the next words set in, Mike sang along, gently.

It’s gonna take a lot to take me away from you;

There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do;

I bless the rains down in Africa;

Gonna take some time to do the things we never had.

Will laughed, nuzzling further into the crook of Mike’s neck. “God, you’re a dork,” he murmured, and Mike laughed too.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “But I’m your dork.”

As they swayed to the music, Mike continued singing along, Will groaning in embarrassment. But he loved it - he always loved it when Mike sang, even though he didn’t do it often. And there was something about this song - maybe because it was the first song they’d ever danced to, or maybe it was because they were so devoted to each other that not even a different dimension could tear them away from one another - that made it even better.

Hurry boy, he’s waiting there for you.

It’s gonna take a lot to drag me away from you;

There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do;

I bless the rains down in Africa.

Will grinned and pulled away, looking up at Mike, who let his singing fade away and replaced it with a gentle smile. “Hey,” Will said.

“Hey,” Mike replied.

Just for a moment, Will felt something. Bubbling up in his chest, sliding up through his throat and into his mouth - at that moment, he was so consumed with love for Mike Wheeler that he thought that he was going to burst. So he did. “I love you,” he said softly.

For a moment, nothing happened. The world was frozen, and all there was was Will Byers, whose heart was caught in his throat, Mike Wheeler, whose face was blank, and a cheesy love song blaring over the radio. In one moment, everything was frozen; and in the next, it wasn’t.

Mike’s smile was so slow, it seemed as if it melted all over his face; his cheeks were rosy, mouth was wide, eyes were bright. “I love you too,” he said, and leaned closer. “So damn much.”

Mike Wheeler was a beautiful mess. He talked too much when he was drunk, which he was far too often for a boy of only sixteen. He wanted too much from a world that didn’t care about him enough to give it all to him. He told his friends he was okay when he was anything but. He danced and he sang and he kissed like he was hungry and Will was the only thing that could satiate him.

Will Byers was in love with him. And Mike loved him back.

I bless the rains down in Africa

Gonna take some time to do the things we never had.

#byeler #byler #will byers #mike wheeler #stranger things #sts2 #byeler fic #byler fic #otp: crazy together #mishi #biwheelers #validate me #also keep ur eyes out for a graphic with ur name on it later today

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gold-and-rubies · 4 years

Note

Hi there! I was wondering if you’d be comfy with writing something w/ Deacon/F!ss? It’s my fav 0u0

Hi! Thank you for the request! It's the first one I've gotten so I'm excited.

I'm going to be honest, I don't travel with Deacon as much as I'd like, so I apologize if his character is a bit off. It gets a little angst, but there's a happy ending.

I hope you enjoy!

"You know, you wouldn't need the meds of you hadn't decided to become a meat shield, right?" Whisper asked. Her tone was mostly sarcastic and teasing, but there were undertones of concern.

"Becoming a ghoul was my next disguise for your information. It's been a while since the last time I was. Not the most fun disguise I've done though," he replied, trying to lighten the mood.

"Not sure it's much better than your current one," she said.

She looked at him, trying to look through his shades to meet his eyes with her own. Those damn eyes that could see right through every word and mask.

"Meat shield," she said simply. Her voice was now firm and serious, "you keep diving in between me and the baddies when you don't need to. Why?"

For once he did not know what to say immediately. She was not wrong, he had been throwing himself between her, and every dawn threat they came across. It was happening more and more and more. At first he had tried to convince himself that it was because she was more important than he was. Sure, his role as a spy was unique, and it would be near impossible to properly replace him, but that got nowhere near her role. She was going to infiltrate the Institute. But it was a lot harder to lie to himself than others.

It took him even longer to admit how he actually felt. He had tried to sum it up to nothing more than physical attraction. That they were just good friends, and all the playful flirting was just banter. That she was just a buddy that he happened to think was hot. Then he would find himself admiring her kindness, determination, strength, all the good qualities that made her stand out from the rest. He found himself adoring all her littles quirks. The way she sang or hummed quietly to herself when she was focused, or how expressive she was with her hands. He found himself simply wanting to be near her all the time. He wanted to hold her tight and keep her safe, no matter the cost. He loved her.

So as he sat there, staring at her through tinted glass, he did what he did best. He lied.

"Thinkin' about becoming a body guard when I retire. Done a pretty damn good job so far, don't you think?"

Her gaze did not falter. It never faltered.

"If you're gonna try to lie to me, you're going to have to try harder," she said. He swore his imagination was acting up, because it seemed like she had leaned closer to him.

He turned away from her. He felt like if he held her stare any longer he would turn to ash, even with the sunglasses to protect him.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I am the most honest person you have ever met. I'm a little offended if I'm being honest, which I am," he joked.

"Deacon," she said. He could suddenly feel her body heat along his side. She had leaned closer.

"I'm worried about you."

Those words were death sentence, because when he heard them he turned back to her and saw just how close she had gotten. Their noses were only an inch apart.

"Fine, Dez wants me to keep you alive at all costs," he offered. It was partly true. She did want that, but that was not why he was acting the way he was, and Whisper knew it.

"That's only half true, and you know it. If you want me to believe you, you need to look me in the eyes."

"I am."

"Without the shades, Deacon."

He slowly raised his hand up, and removed his glasses. He stared into her eyes unfiltered for the first time. They were even more beautiful than before, and more intense.

The moment he saw those eyes he lost all self control. His words would never be as honest as his actions. So instead of doing what she asked and telling her the truth, he showed her.

When he finally pulled back she spoke before he did.

"I love you too."

A large smile spread across his face, a genuine one. The heat that came from the fear of rejection cooled to a warm feeling.

"I'm scared of losing you." He confessed. It was the truth she had been looking for.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me for a long time," she said, smiling.

"How will I ever get by?" He teased, before kissing her again, firmer this time.

Fear be damned. This was worth the possibility of heart ache.

#fallout 4 #fallout #deacon fallout 4 #deacon fo4 #deacon x sole survivor #fanfic #fanfiction #request #writing prompts #writing

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