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rayofspades · 3 years

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How to Write a Horror Story: The Magnus Archives

This post is kinda weird since most tumblr fandom content is based on the assumption that Everyone Has Seen The Thing, but since this is a transcript of a video essay, it’s more broad.

I might link the video in a reblog since, you know, tumblr doesn’t like links.

Anyways, here’s the post:

Hello Jon, apologies for the decep-

I’ve seen a lot of mystery shows in my day, and some supernatural shows, and the common thread between them is that they kind of...fall apart as they go on.

Obviously, this is a generalization and I haven’t seen every mystery show or every paranormal show, but it’s a pretty common problem.

At this point in pop culture criticism, it’s basically common knowledge that these shows fall apart due to a lack of planning. If a mystery series is making shit up as it goes along while trying to surprise the audience, it’s going to stop making sense at some point. And if an episodic paranormal show is constantly trying to up the stakes, eventually it’s going to become absolutely ridiculous and stretch the audience’s suspension of disbelief past a breaking point.

Other people have already talked about this stuff to death, but today I want to talk about a paranormal mystery show that actually succeeds at what it set out to do.

The Magnus Archives is a podcast written by Jonny Sims and directed by Alexander J. Newall. It ran from 2016 to 2021 and it’s...really really good. It’s an episodic horror story, taking place at the fictional Magnus Institute where the head archivist reads various statements about people’s encounters with supernatural entities. It’s got it all; scary stories, mystery, an overarching plot, office comedy, office romance, office tragedy, a villain that’s making straight men everywhere question their sexuality, and an overall really solid structure.

If you listen to the Q+As put out by the writer and director, you’ll hear them talk about how they planned the series from the beginning, setting up the layout for each season. Some things were definitely changed throughout the actual writing process; that’s just inevitable and necessary when you’re working on a long running show, but in a general sense, they knew where they were going. But, writing a good story doesn’t just involve knowing where you’re going; it’s about executing whatever plan you have effectively. And I think the execution of The Magnus Archives is pretty brilliant, so I want to talk about it.

And for the record, I said “brilliant,” not “perfect.” I do have a lot of criticisms of this show, and I’m definitely going to talk about those too, because honestly? Even the problems with this show are interesting in their own right.

Ok, let’s go.

Oh, spoilers by the way. For the whole plot. Whole thing.

Part 1: Horror and Mystery

Ok, so The Magnus Archives has two separate plots going on: the episodic stories that can be listened to individually, and the underlying meta plot. The former is where most of the mystery storytelling takes place, and it’s a really engaging mystery. It’s starts off slow, and almost undetectable at first. The main character, Jon, also known as The Archivist, is just reading out old scary stories that people have delivered to the Magnus Institute. Stuff like; a college student sees a ghostly inhuman figure asking for a cigarette, a woman’s fiancé dies and she finds herself trapped in an empty graveyard, there’s this goth kid who apparently murdered his mother and then skinned her? But she’s kind of still alive? What the f*ck? Hope we never see that kid again. Also, this “Jurgen Lietner” guy wrote a bunch of cursed books and Jon knows about this? Are more books gonna come up? And then you’re like, wait is the goth kid who killed that burn victim the same goth kid who killed his mom like 8 episodes ago? Holy shit the family of that girl’s dead fiancé FUNDS THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE? Did this famous youtuber meet one of the missing people from episode one? The goth kid is back and he’s looking for Leitner books? The name “Michael” has come up like 6 times? Are they all the same guy? I just—who the f*ck is Jurgen Leitner?

So yeah, as you can see, a lot of these stories connect in cool ways, and I’ve only mentioned like, 0.2 percent of all of those connections. Furthermore, these stories are told out of chronological order, and sometimes the same scenario appears in more than one statement, told from different perspectives. This asymmetrical storytelling and odd doling out of information creates a mystery that’s really interesting. It also makes for a great re-listen, since you can retroactively see what elements were set up before you even realized that they were going to come back.

The audio format contributes to this too; you can’t just see that the table from episode three matches the pattern on the box in episode eight. You have to pick up on clues that were mentioned and pay attention to what people are describing, and it’s highly rewarding when the pieces all start to fit together.

There is a bit of a downside to this though. Technically The Magnus Archives is a horror story first and a mystery second, and these two elements can mesh in weird ways.

The horror is element is really strong. Each story is completely different, sometimes focusing on psychological horror, body horror, or supernatural versions of more primal fears like heights, darkness, enclosed spaces, etc. Basically, if you’re afraid of anything, there will be at least one episode of The Magnus Archives that gets under your skin.

Jonny Sims can really sell his stories through both his writing and acting. He plays Jon, by the way, and plagiarized his own birth certificate for the character name. (For future reference, Jonny is the actor, Jon is the character). Overall, he’s really good at writing prose, and each narrator has a very distinct voice even though the large majority of the stories are being read by one character/actor.

Obviously not every episode is a bull’s eye. Sometimes it’s due to the subjectivity when it comes to what you as an audience member are scared of, and occasionally it’s just weird writing decisions. I’m thinking specifically of episode 21 where the line “the sky ate him” is said, and it is the worst line in the entire show. The whole goddamn show. That’s it. That’s the number one worst line.

But still, overall, the horror storytelling is incredibly solid, and some episodes even gave me brand new fears, like the unholy isolation of being in space, or the concept that someone you love could be replaced by someone completely different without you noticing.

But here’s the thing;

A lot of good horror is based on the absence of explanation. Most of the episodes that gave me the most visceral reactions of genuine terror come from the first two seasons, because that’s when the audience has the least amount of information.

For example, in episode two, a really terrifying coffin is introduced. It’s creepy, it reacts very strangely to water for some reason, and appears to compel people to try opening it. By the end of the episode, the audience never finds out what’s in that coffin and that is a good thing. That is a huge part of what made that episode so unnerving.

And then a few seasons later, we do find out what’s in the coffin, and to be fair the answer is both very creative and very scary, but it also takes a lot of the punch out of episode two.

No matter how f*cked up your thing is, it’s not going to compare to whatever the audience can conjure up in their own mind after such a creepy set up. This problem isn’t just stuck in this one scenario either; there are a lot of early episodes that, while still good, seem a lot less creepy in hindsight after you learn more about the scenario.

I don’t think it’s bad writing, but I do think it’s a double-edged sword. Jonny Sims even mentions this sort of issue in the first Q+A.

But yeah, to sum up; the narration is good, the ideas are creative, and seeing the mystery unfurl itself is deeply compelling. And for the record, the mystery elements aren’t of the Sherlock Holmes variety. It’s less about finding out who did the thing, and more about discovering how all of these individual points are intricately connected, pulling on each other as they move. Woven together like a... oh shit what’s the word? Gah, it’s on the tip of my tongue. Ah, whatever, I’m sure it’s not like a running motif or anything.

Part 2: Stakes

One of the main reasons I stopped watching Supernatural is that it devolves into complete f*cking nonsense. At the end of season five, the boys literally defeat the devil, and then the show...keeps going? Which would be fine. It’s also, largely, an episodic show, so if they have more creative ideas, they could definitely keep going with it. In fact, there are some post season five episodes that I thought were pretty good. But as they kept trying to outdo themselves with Bigger Bads, it got kind of difficult to suspend my disbelief. And the final nail in the coffin for me was the end of season nine, when Crowly basically points out to the audience that the main characters keep dying and coming back to life, so there are no stakes. The most-badest bad guy can always be defeated because some new Thing can just come out of left-field, and dying isn’t even on the table as a threat since people have tons of ways of coming back to life.

The Magnus Archives, while being a show based in the supernatural, notably doesn’t bring anyone back to life, even though some very beloved characters die. I say “notably,” because in the season three Q+A, Jonny even says, “We make a point not to bring people back from the dead in Magnus, I know it sometimes feels like that, but we are very careful to never actually resurrect anyone.”

Upon listening to this I said “oh my god, these guys are the only writers left who at least kind of know what they’re doing.”

Also, as far as plot progression goes, The Magnus Archives is lowkey structurally perfect in the way the threats escalate in the underlying plot; both in terms of destruction and power and in terms of emotional consequences. Season one starts off with one major threat that’s dealt with by the end of the season, season two reveals the main villain, season three lays out the grander forces at play, season four ends the world, and season five is about un-ending the world. The difference between season one and season five is vast, but how we got there makes perfect sense.

As for the emotional stakes, let’s talk about themes and characters.

Part 3: Themes and Characters

At the very end of season two, it’s revealed that the supernatural happenings in the Magnus universe are the result of entities far beyond our understanding. Since their existence is so fundamentally different from what we can comprehend, they interact with the world through cursed items, creatures, and humans who have dedicated themselves to an entity.

A lot of people read this as a metaphor for late-stage capitalism, and I am one of those people. A bunch of faceless entities exploiting humans through means of dehumanization and causing people to suffer because it feeds them seems like an appropriate metaphor.

While we’re on this topic, I do want to talk about Elias, since he’s the main villain of the entire series and also one of my favorite villains of all time. The Magnus Archives is a series that deals with a lot of moral questions and has a lot of characters who do morally questionable things, so one might assume that the villain of said series is, you know, morally ambiguous and sympathetic to some extent despite being “the bad guy.”

Nope! No stops, full bastard. It’s great.

He falls under what I’ve deemed the “unbeatable boss” archetype. He just doesn’t tolerate insubordination or resistance, and that combined with his lack of empathy means that anyone who crosses him is either killed or brought to heel. His power set is cool too. On the surface the ability to see out of any eye and read minds sounds useful, but not deal breaking, but the way he uses that power to manipulate people and anticipate threats...yeah, it makes him kind of impossible to beat.

He’s just...so evil and he loves being evil and every single f*cking thing he does pisses me off and makes me want to kill him. It’s. Great.

Anyways, I think Elias’s role as the central antagonist is what makes the capitalist reading so common. He’s the head of the institute, he’s wealthy, he’s powerful, and he dehumanizes people in ways that are both brutal and chillingly indifferent. He seems like an appropriate stand in through that lens.

I also love how voice actor Ben Meredith plays him like’s he’s trying to seduce the audience.

With all of that said, I wouldn’t call this the critique of capitalism a direct allegory or anything; in much looser terms, this could be a metaphor for any power structure that exploits humans. Organized religion or cults might be even more on the nose, considering there’s a lot of mentions of rituals and worship within the show.

But if we boil it down to its barest aspects and focus on the avatar characters, The Magnus Archives is a series about people becoming monsters. Or, at the very least, becoming worse versions of themselves. That can mean a lot of things to different people in a metaphorical sense; the tense relationship between desperation and morality, the eagerness to please at the cost of one’s own mental health, the psychological traumas that lead people down dark paths, and how personal choices can still be dictated and manipulated by outside influences. It’s kind of heavy stuff, but put into a digestible package through the show’s abstractions.

Well, for the most part.

There’s some debate as to whether or not Daisy’s arc was handled tastefully. While her demise and Basira’s character arc were clearly meant to condemn police brutality and the deeply corrupt system that allows it to foster, it’s still a weird subject to discuss in such a fantastical context, and there is a strange sympathy for the devil angle that can get kind of uncomfortable for some listeners.

Okay, stepping back from that for a bit, let’s talk about Jon and how he fits into this whole “people becoming corrupted” thing.

Jon has one of my favourite brands of character arc, which is one based in deterioration alongside growth. The most obvious way this takes form is his departure from humanity as his relationship with the Eye drives him to psychologically harm others, and he finds himself sympathizing more and more with the people he was afraid of, stating in episode 152 that anyone listening to his recordings might compare him to the other avatars that have had their minds and morals twisted.

Over the course of the series, he is repeatedly traumatized and the show makes a point that he is being both physically and emotionally scarred. These happenings are what drive his motivation for revenge in season five, and he even states that revenge is making him a worse person. As a character he’s constantly berating himself and his own monstrousness, much to Martin’s dismay.

That’s why the finale destroys me in the best way. Upon seeing that Jon has betrayed him and basically given himself over to the Eye, Martin asks “how much of you is even left?” And when Jon tries to reassure him that he’s still himself, Martin’s response is “how would you even know?” This cuts through me every time. Up until this point, Martin had consistently stood up for Jon and Jon’s humanity, even in the face of Tim’s doubt, Basira’s mistrust, Elias being cryptic, and Jon’s own self-hatred. This is the ultimate breaking point, the point where even Martin, the love of Jon’s life, doesn’t really recognize him. It’s brutal. Because at the end of the day, Jon is still himself; he’s a deeply broken person trying to make the right decisions.

We’ll come back to the finale later, but for now I want to talk about the romance.

Jon’s emotional growth throughout the series is largely tied into Martin. Martin’s the first person that Jon really opens up to, and this later grows into trust which then turns into a genuine emotional connection. On the flip side, Martin’s growth in season four is largely tied into Jon. Martin starts season four basically waiting to die, but Jon’s return gives him a reason to keep living, and he’s later able to recognize his own value outside of the pure utility of ‘you need to set yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.’ Both of them give each other reason to push onward despite everything becoming more and more hopeless.

It’s a good romance. I wish the two had had a few more scenes together before the culmination, but it is built up over the course of four seasons and comes together in an utterly fantastic confession.

And yeah, the scene with Martin and Jon in the Lonely is cheesy as hell, but it is the highest quality of cheese. These are some gourmet nachos.

Umm, also kind of stating the obvious here, but it’s also pretty cool that the main character in this horror story falls in love with another man. You don’t see that a lot, and it’s cool that no one even makes a big deal out of it. It’s just a normal romance, but with two guys. It’s nice.

So, they go to Scottland, they hang out, they’re in love, Jonalias starts the apocalypse through Jon, the world ends, and season five starts!

...Let’s talk about season five!

Part 4: Season 5

At the very start of this post, I said that supernatural mysteries tend to get worse as they go along, and I am deeply sad to report that I don’t think that The Magnus Archives is an exception. It just goes downhill in a very different way than its ilk.

And, so we’re clear, I don’t think season five totally tanks or becomes unlistenable, it’s just, in my opinion, notably worse than the rest of the show.

As discussed earlier, it doesn’t fall apart due to a lack of planning; everything still makes sense, but the presentation has changed drastically. The episodic statements are no longer scary stories, but more like slam poems about the various hellscapes that Jon and Martin are trekking through. Honestly if these were published in a book of slam poetry, I would probably think they slapped pretty hard. I genuinely believe that Jonny Sims is a good writer, but as a podcast a lot of these statements just made me zone out. There’s at least four that I don’t even slightly remember. Myself and many others have noted that they just...aren’t scary, unless there’s a specific episode that really gets under your skin due to a certain fear or phobia.

To quote my friend, “it’s harder to feel a solid impact when the setting is literally divorced from reality. People would either go numb or insane to the point where their fears become unrelatable.”

And, to be honest, I think that this same surreal odyssey set up could have worked with a slight shift in narration. Two stand out episodes for me were “Strung Out” and “Wonderland.” Both of them show the tormented target actively trying to resist and interact with their tormenter, instead of just trying to escape or live through their situation. “Strung Out” is also more of character study; you learn about Francis’s life before the apocalypse through their interaction with the Web hellscape. Meanwhile “Wonderland” is just...f*cked, and you get to see Jon take the perspective of first-person Bad Guy throughout the whole thing, which is its own level of disturbing.

But the majority of episodes feel so abstract that I kind of forget the people trapped in them are supposed to be characters and not just concepts, so it’s harder to feel their dread and pain.

But I’m still here for the metaplot, the drama, and the romance. And when that’s good, it’s great! I think the final handful of episodes are really solid in that regard.

Buuuuuuut...

A decent chunk of season five is dedicated to the “kill bill” plot. Jon discovers he has the power to smite people, and while at first, he’s embarrassed about this, since he actively enjoyed killing Not!Sasha, Martin is super into it! He’s encouraging Jon to murder people.

This is actually the set up for a really good arc. As Jon gets more and more into his own avenging angel persona, Martin could get more and more disturbed by it so by the time they get to London, Martin could be really upset that Jon is so willing to wreak his own divine justice by killing or torturing all of the avatars.

And this does kind of happen. We do reach this end state, and it makes for a good final conflict, but the way we got here was borderline nonsense. Thematic gibberish, if you will.

Throughout the journey, Martin is clearly motived by a sense of justice; these people are bad, and so they should die. Whereas Jon is clearly more motivated by revenge; he only goes after the avatars that hurt him personally. At one point, Jon admits that maybe all of this killing isn’t making anything better, but just making him worse. Martin apologizes for egging him on, Jon absolves him by saying he started it, and then Martin’s like “I’ll keep my apology then.” This is the second worst line in the entire series, right after “the sky ate him.” And it’s close.

But it kind of feels like we’re back at square one. Jon is back to being ashamed of killing and Martin is still keen on his justice stance, but now just less pushy about it. The arc is basically half resolved at this point.

But then it doesn’t matter, because Jon kills Helen anyway. So, Jon’s back on his revenge/justice thing. Then what was the point of his earlier revelation? Why have that if it’s not going to matter and the conflict that was escalating still culminates with Jon leaning into the avenging angel stuff, and Martin being disturbed by it? It just makes both of them look like huge hypocrites! I f*cking hate it when they’re in the tunnels and Martin says “you weren’t meant to enjoy it this much,” regarding Jon’s smiting. Where did this come from?! Why didn’t you say this earlier? Third worst line in the series.

And yeah, I’ll say it; the boys fight too much in this season. I loved their romance up to season five, and their cute moments and more lowkey serious discussions are still good in this season, but God, they fight so much. And I’m not saying couples can’t have fights or tension, that’s just realistic and also stories need conflict to be interesting. Jonny Sims is on the record saying that balancing a healthy romance with the stress of a literal apocalypse was a priority, and I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s well balanced. I’m just saying that sometimes it feels like they don’t even like each other and it really started to grate on me.

Maybe it would have been better if the beginning of this season was dedicated to charming romance at first, so we as an audience could better appreciate how strong their love is and how it’s truly being tested. But obviously that was never on the table—

ALEX NO.

So, yeah, I have a lot of problems with season. I think it’s the worst one by far, even though there is a lot of it I still enjoy, including the ending.

As I mentioned before, the moment where Martin confronts Jon in the panopticon absolutely kills me, and Jon’s reaction kills me even harder. Throughout the season, Jon had largely been motivated by revenge, martyrdom, and the subconscious call of the Eye, and all three of those factors led him to his position as the pupil. He’s getting revenge against the powers, sacrificing his humanity to get rid of the Fears, and taking his place as wearer of the watcher’s crown. But all of this gets thrown out the window when he realizes that Martin is going to die. And not only is Martin going to die, Martin is going to die specifically because he loves Jon and refuses to leave Jon alone to die horribly. Martin had always been an underlying motivation for Jon, his “reason” as stated in episode 167, but now love as a motivator has come to the forefront, and Jon can no longer go through with his plan because of it. But at this point in the series, they’re both utterly doomed, and Jon concludes that the only possible chance they have of surviving, however unlikely, would be to sever the pupil of the eye, technically killing Jon, but maybe, just maybe, allowing them to escape with the Fears. Whether that’s meant to be literal or more ethereal is left unclear. Hell, maybe Jon’s just making it up completely and creating his own potential happy ending. It’s a pretty potent ending in emotional terms; Jon has to release the Fears and Martin has to kill Jon, and those are the two things they were dead set on not doing.

The Web, arguably the real main antagonist, basically won, and their manipulation of Jon worked. The destruction spread, and there is kind of a bleak underlying tone to that.

But at least this ending has some semblance of hope to it. I’m not saying that releasing the Fears was objectively the correct moral decision; the entire point of the dilemma is that there was no objectively correct moral decision. But, while Jon’s solution does have merit, it was also the most hopeless. I think dramatically, any one of the choices on the table could have worked if the writing was well executed, but thematically this one seemed like the perfect combination of grim and optimistic. Like, all of the evils that plague humanity can’t just be defeated forever and things could get worse, but maybe not. Maybe everything works out...

So yeah, The Magnus Archives...is a podcast. And it’s a really good podcast. Great, even. I can complain about season five all I want, but regardless of how that worked out, you can tell throughout the entire show that the people working on it were trying to tell a genuinely excellent story.

It’s good. Go listen to it. Even though I spoiled the entire thing and if you’re still here, you’ve probably already listened to it. Listen to it again.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin blackwood

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fantranslatorbychoice · 4 years

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Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Volume 6 Chapter 1

T/N: I mostly didn’t translate a lot of the names of the ayakashi/youkai, as well as the proper nouns because uhm... They’re basically nouns. It’s like how some translated manga are done. Plus it irks me sometimes when everything just gets transliterated, it kills off the vibe. But that’s just me. Links to references at the end of the post.

Also if you like this translation, you can share the link, reblog, but for pete’s sake DO NOT REPOST ELSEWHERE. I worked hard to finish this thing, it’s not like I just Google-translated this whole sh**..

If you need refreshers on what happened, @kakuriyo-translations already had the previous translations. I’m just contributing to this fandom. Also, as previously mentioned in my other post, the 2 seasons of the anime cover volumes 1-5, so if you need a review just rewatch them all. Volume 6 starts here.

OK, here’s the stuff now.

Volume 6 - I got hired as a novice in an Ayakashi Inn** From the back cover: Autumn has visited the Ayakashi living in Kakuriyo's long-established inn Tenjin-ya. Aoi who was kidnapped by the rival inn Orio-ya, finally ended through her cooking the hardships of, and cleared the curse of the Southern Lands. Returning home victoriously, what awaits this lady are her friends in Tenjin-ya, the warmth, and the everyday busy-ness! While thinking of new souvenir products and preparing and pushing for the Autumn Festival, she reopens her Japanese Restaurant "Yugao". That time, she was invited by Odanna-sama to a fruit orchard date. Surely him always inviting her out never changed, as time after the Orio-ya incident passes her by, is she realizing that she's starting to think that she wants to know more about Odanna-sama...?

From the inside front jacket: Yuuma Midori (Author)A citizen from Fukuoka. Her debut publication published by Alpha Police: Marrying my wife is a dangerous circumstance with a giant demonic beast. Changing her pen-name after that, she published Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi, I married into an Ayakashi Inn. Currently Fujimi Bun-ko's big hit, and is now an illustrated series released by B-s LOG COMICS.

Character introduction page Tenjin-ya: An old-established place in North-eastern Kakuriyo, where Ayakashi dwell. Under the Ogre-god's (Onigami) leadership, many visiting Ayakashi helped it flourish, although sometimes humans make visits too. Odanna-sama: Master of Kakuriyo's Tenjin-ya, an Onigami respected by many Ayakashi. Even though Aoi should be wedded to him, his true intentions are currently unknown, as he watches the lady's speech and behavior. Tsubaki Aoi: College student who was whisked away against her own will in order to pay for her grandfather's debt in Tenjin-ya. Refusing Odanna-sama's marriage proposal, with her talents in cooking she manages her own Japanese restaurant, Yugao.

T/N: The volume title is a pun, it can go like "a new hire gets into an ayakashi inn" or "newly-harvested rice enters the ayakashi inn". No complaints though, but I won't spoil anything lol

Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Volume 6, Chapter 1: Autumn's Newly-harvested Rice's** Accompaniment P5 "Aoi-san! We're already at our limit!" "Gah, so far, today...." That was in the last days of September in Yugao. I, Tsubaki Aoi, scrunching my face in vexation, took a peep in the refrigerator with hardly any ingredients left. Confronting and attacking the food rations altogether, it seems that they're now all gone. I wonder if in today's opening, will the incoming guests ever cease?

Lately, Yugao's business has been spectacular all over, it has been a very, very busy time. On days when there are so many customers, when the ingredients are all used up midway, the restaurant has to close shop early, and while we're preparing so many ingredients before reopening again, on those days that we have to regulate incoming customers, not many come in and the restaurant becomes bare of people, controlling the number of incoming guests is difficult. I wonder what I'll do if it's just me doing everything inside the restaurant, and I feel like I'm already at my limit... "That matter at Orio-ya, the thing about the ceremony and all the different things have been dramatized and turned upside-down in so many ways, it has become Kakuriyo's hot topic. Aoi-san has become something that livened-up the world, and Ayakashi have been interested and drawn to you, haven't they? Even Yugao has become famous..."

T/N: It's frustrating to translate the term for newly-harvested rice. Coming from a rice-eating culture like Japan and the rest of Asia, it's easy to categorize all stages of rice because there are words that exist for that. Like they say, languages are shaped by the needs of the users. Unfortunately, English has none of those so yeah, from here on end I'll be using the term newly-harvested rice here because to be honest, it tastes a lot better than rice stocked for a long time. That one tastes dry and bland even when cooked, while newly-harvested rice smells fragrant, has a soft texture, and just doesn't taste moldy lol

P6 While on a short break from cleaning up and arranging the place after business hours, Ginji-san and I were eating dried persimmons given to us by a customer as we sat on the counters while sipping tea. "Ginji-san, you were keenly saying that, but I wasn't intending on making a ruckus in Kakuriyo." "Yes, I understand. Ayakashi have been noticing, in their own ways... Thanks to Yugao, our business is booming!" Ginji-san's tired face turned and changed into a very happy one, meanwhile I was getting anxious. As someone who is burdened with a debt I am happy that the restaurant is flourishing, even though the place is getting better overall, there are many hindrances coming out with regards to cooking, and in spite of our efforts, I still feel bad for the customers that come in. Ah, but unrelated to that, this dried persimmon tastes really good. It's center is soft and moist, and sweet, yet a faint aftertaste of the puckery seed still remains, but I love that taste. Even if the people that I hated then are that much, a lot of Grandpa's treasured food makes me yearn for the good old days. "Very soon, Yugao will need to hire new employees, don't you think so?" "New employees? Really? Well, if it's just Ginji-san and I, it's already impossible..." I agreed with Ginji-san's suggestion. Ever since we opened, the two of us had been giving our all. To put it in words, we need someone other than Ginji-san to be designated with a job post. All the more that I think Yugao needs a new staff. "Since it seems that Aoi-san is concentrating on making the dishes, you might want the new staff to bear the task of receiving guests. P7 Would you like to try putting up a "Now Hiring" sign in Tenjin-ya's announcement board?" "I wonder who would come to apply?" What kind of brand-new staff will we hire? "Aoi-sama, you're cruel!" Instantly, from the pendant that contains ogre-fire, popped out Ai-chan. She looks like me, but her cheeks were swelling with annoyance. "Why, you call me your family, and at the same time hire me as your employee! If that's the case, tell me what to do!" "Well now, Ai-chan is very eager to work?" "You haven't spoken to me in a very long time..." Is that so? I tried to recall. When I called Ai-chan out to learn about the basics of cooking, that time she went out and played with Chibi. I think Ai-chan is still an Ayakashi child, and she still haven't got the idea on what it means to be an employee. "But Ai-chan, if you feel sleepy, you can't return to the pendant. Also, on top of that, it would be weird when there's two of us working here at Yugao..." Ginji-san looked at Ai-chan and I. P8 I wonder what he thinks of us having similar faces. "Oh, that, uhm... Aoi-san is most concerned about Ai-chan, and it is that you would want to work, but I think it's surely awkward when there is someone that looks like Aoi-san, won't it?" "Wh.. Why is that...? Young master-sama, I want to work too..." Ai-chan begged earnestly to Ginji-san with her teary eyes. My face tells it all, and Ginji-san also sees that it can turn into a crazy situation, and we stuttered. "Uhm, that's... That is..." Her eyes started swimming in tears. "But we could cause confusion with the customers. They'll think Ai-chan is me, and I am Ai-chan..." "I'm definitely sure that can happen... This is not related to Yugao's business operations, but it's possible that I can swap places with a family who looks like me, but really you are a precious being. With that, won't it be better to hide?" "Really?" "Yes... If my look-alike and I were both working in here, we may have a trump card,but evil people may take advantage of that too. Because of that, Ai-chan who can do things must hide in her favorite place..." Ginji-san glimpsed at teary-eyed Ai-chan who was biting her lower lip like a child and scratching her forehead. P9 "In order for Ai-chan to work in this restaurant, there are two conditions, OK? One, when you're in duty, you can't go to sleep. The other is that you have to change your appearance into someone else's." "Someone else's appearance..." Ai-chan and I huddled and titled our heads. The thing about not sleeping is reasonable and understandable. "About that, how do I change into someone else?" "I'm sorry. That's something that you must learn on your own. Be original, OK?" "O..ri...gi..nal..?" It seems that Ai-chan doesn't understand what that means. "Well, let's see. Let's use Tokihiko-san from Orio-ya as an example.** In the beginning, that person was just made up of many little Youkai flames**, but right now he can't change into anything else, he can only change into the shape he already has. If you change your appearance into someone else, if you change it to look like me, that's a whole different level, but Ai-chan is still a child, I wonder if she can understand?" But Ai-chan yells "I'll do it!" and raises her hand in proclamation. "I'll do my best in making my own appearance!" "Wooooowwww..." Ginji-san and I lightly clapped our hands for Ai-chan who was in high spirits.

T/N: In Volume 3, where Shizuna and Tokihiko meet again, like the episodes before the Orio-ya arc, it was briefly explained that ayakashi are formed from objects, when the consciousness enters the objects and make them sentient. I’ll probably translate that once I finished volumes 6-10, or maybe not. P10 "But because it's sleepy-time, I'll go back to the pendant!" "Whaaat." She immediately returned into ogre-fire, and Ai-chan hid back into the pendant in my bosom. The pendant's flickering light makes it seem like Ai-chan was sleeping and snoozing peacefully inside. "She seems serious, about the whole 'What appearance should I make' thing." "As soon as she wanted to slep, she already entered a new period of growth. In just a short time, I think she's already like an Ayakashi that stays awake late at night... It's because Ayakashi by nature don't sleep that much." "It's not like that, it's just that employes and everyone else just have short sleeping schedules. It's toxic**, it's something I thought of, but it's not really like that..." "No, it's not something like that. It's because Tenjin-ya also considerably receives nice wholesome** citizens of Kakuriyo. And that is why it's always very busy." "What, wait, doesn't that make it mixed**?" Well, whatever, I only sleep 10 minutes everyday, and even though it's a rest day tomorrow, it's not a problem for me. And for sure, when that busy day comes, I'd be very happy to receive Ai-chan's help. Whatever that child's appearance would make, I'll be looking forward to it.

T/N: the original words used were BLACK, WHITE, and GRAY. Black is considered to be the dark side of things aka toxic workplaces, White is the usual nice and wholesome facade, and the Gray was just inserted to complete the pun because in color theory thingy, BLACK+WHITE=GRAY. But that's just me lol You have been warned that this light novel uses a lot of puns P11 "Aoi--- Fooooood---" "Oh, that person's here." That person, is that Yuki-onna. Always, after Yugao's business hours, it's always the same, she always comes, the former Young Mistress but is now the waitress O-ryo. "Now's not a good time, O-ryo. There's none already." "Waaait, again? No rice? Even the rice is gone too?" "Even if I cook the rice, that's just it. Tomorrow is Yugao's rest day, and there aren't any excess ingredients here." "Then as long as there's rice that can be cooked, it's fine. I really love rice. Newly-harvested rice** is the most delicious, isn't it?" If that's the case, then there's nothing else to eat here, Ginji-san and I whispered to each other. But O-ryo just invited herself in the counters, and I had no choice but to stand up and start preparing to cook the rice. Just as O-ryo said, it's already the season of delicious rice. Especially in the land of Ogre's Gate, the rice brand "Onihonoka" is a famous specialty and souvenir, harvested either in the last days of August to the first days of September, polished immediately after harvest and is now back in the market. P12 But, if we use newly-harvested rice here in Yugao, it's distinct grains that contain a lot of moisture can really rake in the positive points. When cooking rice it is common that the little water added will decrease as it cooks, and it tastes all the more better. I wonder if O-ryo can wait for 30 minutes as the rice gets soaked.** "Wait, O-ryo sama!" The next one who came in was that horse chestnut girl, with her signature Tanuki ears and the round, fluffy tail. It was Tenjin-ya's lower-ranking waitress, Kasuga. "We thought we lost the bottle opener at the banquet hall. O-ryo sama, when your duties ended you immediately went to Yugao, and our new-hired waiters and waitresses had to search here and there. I was about to do some deliveries but I had to take charge of our newbies." "Oh, really? Kasuga, why didn't you just remember to let your juniors do it?" "But it's O-ryo sama's fault. All of the juniors and everyone has been doing their best here." "Oh, fine, there, there. Kasuga, you're also giving it your all, OK?" Whether it's because she's tired or she just deemed the answer was acceptable and ran away with it, Kasuga just allowed O-ryo to roughly pat her head. And when the bottle opener that had a bell made out of ice was produced, Kasuga immediately stuck it inside her obi. When the bell chimed, a clear tinkling sound echoed. "Isn't that ice bell lovely?"

T/N: Hot tip, if you're cooking rice, not the instant kind, if you want a less fussy method just soak it for at least 30 minutes before boiling it, it makes it cook faster, especially when the rice is long-grain, brown or colored rice, or the dry grained ones that are better for fried rice because the grains don't stick together. P13 "Yes. I won't give it to you, Kasuga." "I don't have a need for it, and for that reason it's not an important conversation." Kasuga sighed with a dumbfounded expression. In this situation I don't know who's the senior and who's the underling. "Oh, by the way, Young Master-sama, Odanna-sama calls for you." "Wah, is that so, Kasuga-san? Oh, it's probably the matter about the Autumn Festival. Aoi-san, I have to go to the main building for a bit, ok?" "Yes, thank you for your hard work, Ginji-san." Ginji-san's head bobbed as he bowed, and with a quick pace left Yugao. "Kasuga, even today you were asked to do a lot of things here and there, weren't you?" "Yeah, that's true. Everyone was telling me to go here and run over there. Oh well, I'll get used to it somehow." Kasuga meekly and quietly sat beside were O-ryo was sitting. Did this girl also went here to eat some newly-harvested rice? "Aoi--- Is it done? I'm hungry-- Isn't Kakuriyo's pot cooking fast enough?" "Whaaat. Please wait a bit more, O-ryo. Because it's newly-harvested rice, I only had it soaked for a bit." "Ehhh... That's already fine. Whether it gets cooked or not, because I'm hungry." P14 I wanted to choose the best way to cook the newly-harvested rice, so I could relish its delicious taste, but I wonder if I just lost to O-ryo's explanation just like this while the rice was cooking. She seems to be already at the limit of her patience, and she started to violently beat the counters. "Aoi--- Aoi--- Rice! Let me eat rice!" "Hold it there, big woman baby! Stop beating the counters, or else it will fall apart." My table.. Really, O-ryo can really be so selfish... "Yo, is there any grub to eat?" Akatsuki, like the usual routine, came here. O-ryo, Kasuga, and Akatsuki, repeatedly always come here, and were becoming "Give me food, give me food" Ayakashi. "I'm sorry Akatsuki, today there's nothing left. O-ryo said she's fine with just white rice, and that's what I'm cooking right now." "I'm also fine with just rice. Do you have any pickles?" Akatsuki sat beside the counter where Kasuga was, where two people were already sitting at. It has always been like this. "Wherever rice is offered as if for the gods, there's always a line on the counters. One way or another, Ayakashi love rice, don't they?" Finally, the rice on the stove has cooked. Kakuriyo's pots only need five minutes to cook rice, and it's really very convenient. P15 "Akatsuki, you haven't used up your salary and vacation leaves this year, haven't you? You don't have a girlfriend, and you give me the impression that working is your hobby. You're that kind of guy, aren't you?" While doing nothing on an empty stomach, O-ryo started bickering with Akatsuki, who was beyond Kasuga's seat. Even thought it's not nice, O-ryo toys Akatsuki a lot, who was younger than her. Akatsuki's face spells like "Shut up, you're noisy" whenever he's tired after work. "It's better to think about frolicking and having fun, Akatsuki. It's a waste, no matter how much you work, being a guy who looks angry and has no excess time to have some time to have fun." "Stop talking to me already, O-ryo." "Whaaat. How conceited. I'm the senior and you're the junior. I'm older than you and you're younger than me." "And so? You dropped being in the management staff and now you're a waitress. Between being a head clerk and a waitress, I'm higher-ranked." "Arrrghh, this guy is so UN-ADORABLE!" "O-ryo sama, you're noisy!" O-ryo's shrill voice spreads out, and Akatsuki and Kasuga both covered their ears. I opened Yugao's kitchen's refrigerator as I pinched my small ears shut. There wasn't any ingredients left to make side dishes, so I just took the rice out and served it. As I was doing this, I was laughing by myself. Hee hee hee.. "I could hear Aoi-chan letting out a weird laugh." P16 "What meals are she thinking of, at this point?" "Aoi is indeed an Ayakashi that cooks and cooks, isn't she?" Until now, O-ryo, Kasuga and Akatsuki were all whispering and back-biting me. But that's what I felt. After waiting, the newly-harvest rice that we have been waiting for has been cooked. After the boiled rice was done, I opened the lid and a foggy yet aromatic steam was released, and my stomach started to grumble on its own. As I stirred the freshly-cooked rice, I divided it and placed some on the rice tub. Using a wooden rice paddle I tried checking its texture and taste, it was springy, and its sweetness was enjoyable. "OK, there's a lot of rice, so please just eat however you like." In the restaurant's table where the rice tub was placed, in Akatsuki and Kasuga's usual rice bowls, and in O-ryo's favorite and sometimes variable larger bowl, I served them the white rice. I piled a lot of it. Each grain was puffy and glossy, which is due to the rice's freshness. "Yay! Let's eat!" O-ryo speedily and hungrily ate the rice, as she was holding her bowl and chopsticks. Hmph, O-ryo just quieted down right now. "Kasuga, Akatsuki, aren't you two hungry too? Start eating up." P17 "Ehhhrm.... It's hard to eat like O-ryo with just the white rice..." "Aren't there any pickled food, Aoi-chan?" "Tsk, tsk, how about if I place this here?" I placed a jar in between Kasuga and Akatsuki's counters. At first, they just stared at it in bewilderment, but carefully examined the jar's contents. Kasuga seemed to immediately get what it was. "Oh, I know it! It's nametake, enoki mushrooms!" "Yes, I made it from all of the mushrooms collected this Autumn, and I placed a lot of it. I goes great with white rice. I added it to our Autumn's daily specials." As soon as I opened the jar's lid, and scooped the nametake with a wooden spoon, I placed a lot on top of their rice in the two rice bowls. The brown mushrooms were flowing and melting and moist due to being boiled down. Enoki, shimeji, shiitake, these were all seasoned with the mild soy sauce that Ayakashi love. Sugar, mirin, sake and other seasonings were also added as staples, and in my case, there's also a bit of vinegar and some spicy peppers. These were added to give a hint of spiciness and sourness to the mild flavor. To make excellent preserved food, cold tofu, boiled down greens using dashi stock and others can be added and turned into one dish. While the nametake is mixed in with the piping hot rice, Kasuga and Akatsuki heartily wolfed down their food. "Wow... This meal is filling in my empty stomach.." P18 "This is delicious!" The enoki makes a crispy and appetizing sound. O-ryo, who was growing tired of the white rice, and seems to have noticed the nametake that Kasuga and Akatsuki were eating, started staring at it with longing eyes. "O-ryo, if you want to eat some nametake, please have some too." What the.. I have barely finished talking and O-ryo already stole the nametake jar. "Wah, it's my rice's buddy!" "O-ryo sama, it's greedy of you to take it for yourself!" "Kasuga, Akatsuki, don't worry, there are other partners for your rice." The poor things, but because there were other food that pair up well with rice, I brought them out. Toppings such as pickled plums, ground meat mixed with miso and lotus root, daikon pickled in vinegar with kelp, I brought out various preserved dishes too. Because rice goes well with many daily staples, many others were served on the side. "I am pushing this powerful medicine. I stir-fried some Hijiki seaweed that still has its water, along with the gritty and crisp pickled plum with some dashi stock. It really goes well with rice." Deprived of the nametake, Akatsuki tried adding the plum and seaweed mix as a rice topping. The crunchy texture and sourness of the plum, and the strong umami taste of the seaweed was incorporated, and this was a very luxurious and delightful taste. It doesn't need any other side dish, this makes it a full and satisfying topping. P19 When making onigiri, it can be added to the rice. It's excellent for emergencies. After experimenting with both the kelp and vinegar-pickled daikon as well as the meat mixed with miso and lotus root, O-ryo started eyeing at everything again, and I placed some little by little in the saucer that she was using. It' s great that she gets to enjoy a wide variety to pair up with her rice. It's exciting to think like what could be the next one you'll taste, with each bite. Once in a while, it's nice to just enjoy and relish the taste of the newly-harvested rice. After a while, I decided to eat some rice, and went back to the kitchen to get the rice bowl I normally use. "Ah, I just remembered something!" That's it. There were still two slices left in the refrigerator for the staff's breakfast. Autumn salmon. If I defrost that, I can make another rice pair-up! "Hee hee hee. A staple rice accompaniment: salmon flakes!"** I defrosted the salmon slice on the dish with Yokai fire, flayed the skin off, and lightly seared the surface on a frying pan, added salt, dashi, mirin, sake and other seasonings then heated this on a low flame. Sauteing this with a wooden spatula while adding some water to soften it, it's all what I need to do. Hee hee hee... "That Aoi-chan is laughing in the kitchen again..." "It smells like fish being cooked..." "Hold up, Aoi! Why are you cooking fish just for yourself? My nose isn't deceiving me!" T/N: I actually do this with meat, tofu, fish or whatever I add to vegetable dishes to make them more tasty. In Japan, they call this ground meat, fish or tofu that is seasoned and sauted as "Flake". You can just prepare a large batch, and use them as needed. I guess all those hours watching Tokuson Life Hacks also helped a lot lol P20 "Don't worry Kasuga, Akatsuki, O-ryo. Everyone's going to eat what I'm making." That said, it's my last serving. Reduce the water, when the flesh has fallen apart, add white sesame seeds and sesame oil, and lightly saute it. It's really easy. The home-made salmon flake is done. "It 's done! It's done! From kids to adults, everyone will love it, the best to be paired with rice, salmon flakes! Loose salmon topping, is it easy to understand?" "Ohhh..." "That smells really good!" As soon as I brought this in front of them, O-ryo and Akatsuki's voices just sounded with admiration. Since their bowls were already devoid of rice, they both wanted to fill their bowls with another serving. But they started fighting on who should be going to get more rice to add in the rice tub, and Kasuga went up and took the rice tub on her own to refill it. She's really the most adult in this bunch. "Ahhh, I can finally eat some rice too!" Thereafter, I placed some hot, piping rice on my bowl and I could finally eat my supper. For the first time, we're going to partake the crumbly salmon flakes that I made. I can use that for onigiri, and it's going to be a favorite item in bento boxes. P21 We can do the bottling, the marketing, and the selling, as our products are really delicious, but it seems that I'll have to make it and do it all by myself. Slicing, adding water, seasoning.. I'll do it how I like it. The glossy and clean rice due to it being freshly-harvested, when you add the shiny and reddish-brown color of the salmon flakes, eating it with a spoon just makes you gobble it all up. Ah, the autumn's salmon is really tasty and fatty. When mixed and used as rice topping, in one bite the umami and saltiness goes well with the mild, sweetness of the rice. Adding the white sesame and sesame oil's fragrances, the salmon's taste, flavor and aroma improves. "Wah, this tastes so delicious, I wanna have a bowlful more.." "O-ryo sama, if you eat more than that, you'll get fat. But I want a bowlful more too..." "I knew it, it's the autumn salmon. It really pairs well with the rice." It looks like everyone got satisfied with the salmon flakes. Oh no, this is bad. We have quickly eaten the rice... We took in so much carbs..." Even the meat mixed with miso and lotus root, the miso-flavored meat and the crunchy texture of the lotus root, really, really goes well with rice too. When you want to cleanse the palate, munching on the vinegar and kelp-pickled daikon is a fitting and refreshing break. "Aoi-dono!" Sasuke-kun, the O-niwaban guard has come here to Yugao. P22 Sasuke-kun was holding a bamboo straining basket, in his usual ninja-style. And, well, inside that basket were fresh red eggs. "These are the cassowary eggs that I have gathered tonight. The Master and Young Master sent me here to deliver these to you with my life, as it is a pity that there is only white rice to eat. You can now make egg-topped rice**." I bumped into him while running. That was the ultimate, crowning, and appropriate pairing to the rice. This is awesome! TKG has arrived here!** "Wah, I'll eat another bowlful more---" "Hey, that's unfair of you, O-ryo. Me too!" "Me too. It's because eggs are also served now." In the middle of the night, the Ayakashi were eating white rice in reckless abandon. "Please, I would like to fill my stomach with a bowlful of rice." "Yes, Sasuke-kun, please come have some." Anyone can't hide their excitement with egg-topped rice. Hollowing top of the hot, piping rice, when the shell is cracked open, the lovely raw egg is dropped in here. The cassowary's rich egg yolk's color, its shine, its jelly-like appearance, when it covers the rice, it has an irresistable charm. T/N: If you're going to try this, just a reminder that bacteria like Salmonella can contaminate the egg. Only do this with super-fresh eggs from a seller you trust because getting sick isn't worth it. TKG is basically tamago-kake-gohan, or how I wrote it here, egg-topped rice. P23 Ah, just looking at it, I know it's definitely delicious. "For sure, with egg-topped rice, it's Kakuriyo's mild soy sauce, isn't it?" I wanted a simple approach. "Soy sauce is good, but adding a little sesame oil is also delicious." As expected of O-ryo, who is in the majority group. "As a minority, I like mine to have noodle soup base and wasabi." From my peripheral vision I could see Akatsuki grumbling. But that seems to be delicious too. "I always eat it with ponzu. If there's dried bonito flakes and fried onions I'll add those too." For some reason, this was expected of Kasuga. "If there are seasonings, I'll add them." Sasuke-kun is too gallant. "Ok, ok, you can eat your differing favorites, that's good." Everyone's demands were heard, and I took various seasonings and flavorings and placed these at the center of the table. I, nonetheless the simpleton just added a bit of soy sauce over the yolk, and lightly broke it, mixing it with my chopsticks. In that moment, I felt a wonderful, happy feeling. Probably, just adding the egg, I haven't even finished mixing the runny egg in, I already took a bite. "Wahhh, taking the first bite of egg-topped rice is really something, isn't it?" P24 The rich flavor of the egg yolk makes it the best and enjoyable. After relishing the first bite, I completely mixed everything, and ate some more. "Hey, everyone, the meat with miso and lotus root also goes well with the egg-topped rice." Everyone noticed the previously-ignored meat with miso after Kasuga's discovery. Wah, it really does taste well together. This is a great discovery! Egg-topped rice is awesome! Just by itself is delicious, but arranging and adding flavors for variation, it's going to be an awesome feast. "It looks like you are all having fun." "Oh, Odanna-sama." Odanna-sama and Ginji-san came to Yugao together. O-ryo and Kasuga, Akatsuki and Sasuke-kun, who were all until now eating like as if in a stupor, all suddenly stopped and stood up, and deeply bowed to Odanna-sama. "It's alright, continue eating. Those are rare eggs." As if waiting for those words, everyone sat down again and continued eating. "Well, what's up? It's been a long time since you came here. Did both of you came here for some egg-topped rice? If that's the case, we have a lot right now." "No, it's not that, a while ago we welcomed some guests and we sat for a bit and already had our meals." P25 "I also may have drank a bit too much... That liquor was a tad strong.. Uhm.. I will eat some later, ok?" Both Ginji-san and Odanna-sama were definitely tipsy, somewhat. If they received some guests during work, why were they suddenly here? While in the middle of his rapid and nonchalant talking, is he going to suggest something? "Aoi, isn't Yugao on a break tomorrow? If you're free, let's go out on a date." "What?" In an instant. I realized that everyone who was continuing their eating all stopped their chopsticks. The Odanna-sama in question, who was really in a giddy mood continued smiling. "Aoi hasn't had a rest and had always been working hard even after returning from the Orio-ya matter. And I apologize for not taking the time too, for a long while. As a new wife, Aoi has not experienced any hour of fun at all." "It's fine, I have fun every day..." "That's it! Let's go to an orchard park. We can prepare food with apples and grapes, how's that?" While my face holds desperation, somehow Odanna-sama firmly grips my shoulder. "How's that" he says. "Apples and grapes, huh..." Pointing my finger to my chin, an idea popped into my head. For sure, there will be delicious autumn fruits. P26 "OK, let's go, Odanna-sama. I am interested in the orchard park." "I'm happy to hear you say that, Aoi!" With a sigh of relief, Odanna-sama wiped the sweat on his brow. The crowd of egg-topping eaters behind me, once again started moving their chopsticks. "Aoi-san, the orchard park is inside a mountain that connects the northern and north-eastern lands. The autumn leaves in that mountain change early, and I already heard that they're already in full display, so I hope that you can also enjoy the scenery tomorrow." "Ginji-san, you're not coming too?" "Me? I, uhm..." "You also haven't taken a break since the matter with Orio-ya, you should really take a break. Won't you come with us tomorrow?" Odanna-sama invited him, but Ginji-san looked at both Odanna-sama and I, and with a small smile shook his head. "No, thank you. I think I will take care of Tenjin-ya in Odanna-sama and Aoi-san's absence." I think it's the usual Ginji-san answer, but in that time, he wasn't looking at me.

End of Chapter 1, Volume 6. Next - Chapter 2

References:

Wonderful site for the youkai references

Other stuff I used to do this: Kodansha Kanji Learner’s Dictionary (you can buy here, I’m not sponsored btw). I was about to buy the older edition but then the newer one came out 2013 so I bought that instead. Worth buying since I was able to find nearly all of the words I needed just by stroke pattern alone.

Merriam-Webster's Japanese-English Dictionary (the red-covered 1996 version is apparently out of print right now). This is what I have been using for a very long time, I bought it when I was still a fetus (yes I am old so what lol), and after so many years, when compared to newer editions, I still prefer this one since its entirety is Japanese-English, the English to Japanese gloss are just 16 pages tops, so you get more Japanese words for your buck. But that’s just my opinion, maybe other people prefer the Jap-En x En-Jap IDEK.

Basic online dictionary, Jisho. Knowledge of verb conjugations and other words are necessary since not all have entries.

If you can read Japanese, you can buy the whole set in Amazon Japan, they’re shipping worldwide now, I think.

#kakuriyo no yadomeshi light novel #kakuriyo no yadomeshi fan translation #kakuriyo no yadomeshi english fan translation #kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 #kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 chapter 1 #kakuriyo no yadomeshi light novel english fan translation #kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 light novel fan translation #kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 chapter 1 english fan translation #kakuriyo no yadomeshi translated

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anindecisivespirit · 4 years

Text

Stitches

Written for Whumptober 2019, and never having seen the light of day before now, is Stitches! (Since that was the prompt, that shall be the title.)

Universe: Sanders Sides

Word count: 4,753

Summery: After a less than pleasent conversation with the Core Sides, Remus spirals into a panic. In trying to find a way to be better, he acts on the one thing he’s certain they all hate; his ideas. He can’t stop himself from thinking them, but he can stop himself from saying them out loud. I mean, he already has the string... However, this leaves Deceit and the others trying to fix the damage they've done.

Warnings: Uh... Self-harm (self-mutilation??), needles, stitches, blood mention, intrusive thoughts (violent, odd, and self-deprecating), ideas of violence, possible questionable Virgil(?), suicidal thoughts, misunderstandings fueled by anxiety and intrusive thoughts, panic, threats (both serious and as jokes), Sympathetic Deceit & Remus.

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“What if chocolate milk really did come from brown cows? Where would pink milk come from? Flamingoes?” Remus asked suddenly, causing the other Sides to jump, as if they had forgotten he was there. Or, maybe, like he hadn't remembered to announce the fact that he was there in the first place. And… oh, right. He had forgotten to tell them.

"Remus!" Roman snapped, standing from his seat at the table. "What are you doing here?"

Remus forced himself not to flinch at the suspicion lacing Roman’s voice. The 'Light' Sides had been eating lunch- tacos, apparently, even though they should know burritos were better. Keywords here being had been. Now, though, Patton was staring at him with fear painfully apparent in those wide eyes, all while Virgil glared and Logan eyed the situation with a cautious - perhaps callus - sort of neutrality. And Roman…

His brother was annoyed - maybe even angry? -, glaring at him from where he stood by the table. Suspicion practically rolled from him in waves. Remus smiled, just a bit too widely, a bit too forced.

"Can't I just visit my dear friends every once and awhile? It's been so long since we all talked!"

Logan sighed, adjusting his glasses.

"That is entirely incorrect, Remus,” He said. “You were here just yesterday. If I remember correctly, you wanted to discuss the best ways of hiding a dead body, along with the effects of teleporting directly to the bottom of the ocean."

"Aw," Remus said, sending a small smile and a wink Logan's way. "It warms my heart to know you care enough to remember!"

Logan just sighed again, and Roman took a step forward, opening his mouth to speak. Before he could say anything, however, another thought caught Remus's attention.

"Or, could I light my heart on fire? It’d be warm, then. What would it taste like cooked? Would it go good on tacos? It might be too chewy, though, so that might not be a good idea."

Patton's face looked slightly green as he ducked his head, staring down at the floor. Huh... Remus hadn’t even said anything ‘wrong’ this time.

"Remus," Roman said impatiently. "Either tell us the real reason you're here, or get out."

"Preferably that second option," Virgil muttured. "We don't need any more 'ideas' from you."

This time Remus couldn't help but step back slightly, but he covered the movement up well enough. Or at least, no one seemed to have noticed it. Was that worse? Was it worse if they just didn't care enough to notice? Or they could be ignoring it. Ignoring him. He swallowed down the sudden lump in his throat.

"I-"

"And please," Patton interjected softly, glancing up at him. "Say it in… in a nice way?"

Remus's chest felt tight. It was like something had wrapped itself around his ribs, threatening to constrict, and suffocate, and break him apart. He knew what Patton really meant. It wasn't about how kind he was, but how much of himself he repressed, how much he let them see. They wanted him to be more like Roman. Kinder, just a bit quieter, easier to control. Easier to deal with. To get rid of. It wasn’t about being nice- it was about getting him out of their way faster, simpler, cleaner. It was to get rid of him again. He hesitated, just for a moment, searching each of the other Side's faces for anything besides irritation, contempt, and fear. Something warm, something welcoming, or even just something that didn't nail home the fact that they wanted him gone. Any sign that he might be welcome. And… and there was nothing.

"...Ah, no. No, it's nothing important," He muttered, his words for once catching in his throat, before sinking out back to his room.

...He was just slow enough to see the relief shining on their faces as he left.

Remus ran his hands through his hair as the bright, warm light of the common area’s dining room was replaced by the familiar, cold chill of his room. It was always either freezing or burning, no matter what he did. He could never fix anything. Could never do anything right. His fingers caught on the tangled curls of his hair, catching and tearing and his thoughts felt the same way, caught on that moment, painful and repeating, repeating, repeating, repeating-

Remus shook his head sharply, shutting his eyes tight as if that would cast out the image of their relief - relief at his absence - from his mind. It wouldn’t. It was never that simple, no matter how much he always hoped that it would be, even just once. He began to pace through his room, counting out each step, focusing on the constant impact of his feet against the floor (not that he could go very far without running into a cluttered pile of random junk or a shelf).

"Stop it," He muttered, shaking his head wildly as more and more thoughts began to flit through his mind, whirling around like a thousand tattered pages in a hurricane. They all hate you. You should be more like Roman. But it's their fault you're like this in the first place! Kill them, tear them apart, they deserve it- No, they don’t. You’re the problem. You aren't good enough. Not for them, not for Thomas, not for anyone.

"Stop it!" He snapped, pulling at his hair, the pain just barely registering, taking a backseat to his panic. He couldn’t do this. He needed help- he needed to go to Deceit, or Virgil- no, no, no, Virgil was one of them now, he hated Remus and Deceit both-

For good reason. Have you ever considered just leaving? Dying? Fading?

"N-no, I haven’t, and I w-won’t," He hissed, and wow- that lie wouldn't even fool Roman. He shook his head again, wild and panicked, casting his gaze frantically around the room, trying to find anything in the layers and layers of trinkets and trash to distract himself with. It was usually easy, and he could direct the flow of his thoughts at least partially towards whatever he found. It was one of the reasons his room was so full of junk.

Right now, though, there was nothing. Not a single thing caught his eye.

Speaking of, could you tear your eyes out? Do they pop like grapes?

Remus could go try cooking, or baking, or- or something. That kind of thing seemed to help Deceit and Patton destress, but right now he'd probably burn the kitchen down. Or just burn himself.

"Gah! It doesn't even matter!" He finally snapped, spinning on his heel and falling backwards onto the mountain of pillows and blankets that made up his bed. "I don't care what they think! I don't care! So just stop it!"

Remus didn't need Deceit's ability to pick out lies to hear the distinct ring of a falsehood in the words. He cared. He cared about the hate, and disgust, and contempt. The way he was too much and wasn't enough at the same time, cast aside and stomped on. If anything, he cared just a bit too much. He tried not to let it get to him- even tried to act out even more than he usually would, because if they were used to him being worse, when he acted normally they'd accept it, because he was better, right? But it never worked.

Just fade. Leave. Die. Duck out.

No. There had to be something. Something that would get them to accept him easier. He just- he just had to figure it out.

And… there was definitely a common thread between their complaints. Voices drifted into his thoughts, memories of conversations with all the others. Plenty from Patton-

'And please, say it in… in a nice way?'

'Thomas doesn't need any more of those thoughts!'

'Don't say things like that!'

'Why would you- That's horrible!'

A few from Virgil-

'Look, say anything you want, just keep it away from me.'

'You know I don't like hearing about this stuff!'

'Just keep your mouth shut for once.'

Logan-

'I'm sorry, but I'm busy. I don't have time to hear about nonsense right now.'

'Your brand of thoughts will not help at the moment, we need to keep stressful ideas away for now.'

Roman-

'I don't want to hear it!'

'Your ideas are so… so horrible! It's no wonder we split!'

'Can you be quiet for once in your life?'

'In as little words as you can, what are you doing here?'

'Ugh! Just stop!'

Even Deceit-

'Remus, I am in the best of moods. I can deal with your ideas right now.'

Every single complaint was about his ideas- about what he said. He just had to stop sharing them. If he could just stay silent and stop the thoughts from slipping out, then… then they would like him more. They would accept him. But how did he…?

You know how. All you have to do is find some string...

Remus sat up. Yeah. Yeah, he could do that. He just needed… His gaze caught on a specific pile of junk a few feet away, one filled with a dozen different kinds of fabric, yarn, and string.

He felt slightly numb as he stood and retrieved a spool of light green thread. Scissors were close by. A needle soon followed.

He cleared the counter in his bathroom, setting his bounty down carefully. He wasn't really doing this, right? He wasn't- he couldn't-

It'll work. Just do it, and you'll see.

Remus's fingers were somehow steady as he threaded the needle, staring intently into the mirror before him. He raised the needle to his lips, and made the first stitch.

It hurt, but he pulled the string through anyway. It hurt, but he kept going. It hurt, but it was for the best.

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Deceit frowned, looking up from the common room up the stairs to Remus's door. The other Side hadn't come down for hours, and frankly, after hour two of no interruptions to his work, Deceit had started to worry. Sure, there were days Remus locked himself away or stayed in the Imagination, but it was on those days that the Side needed the most help. Deceit was sure that Remus had left to visit the others at some point, and that made it somehow even worse. Remus would usually regale him with a detailed account of his conversations and experiences. Whether Logan had to step in to keep everyone calm, if Roman was at a loss for words, or if Patton actually snapped for once. There hadn't been any stories today. He hadn't even seen Remus since this morning.

Still, Deceit had yet to check on him, even hours after that. He really should have, but… For all there were days that Remus needed people to be there with him, there were also days where Remus was better off left alone.

Deceit sighed. Dinner had been ready for ten minutes now, and he had been hoping that Remus would be drawn out by the smell alone. No luck there, it seemed. It was time to check in.

He walked up the stairs, stopping in front of the door. It was green and black, nearly hypnotic in the way the colors swirled together. It was almost like oil on water. Deceit raised a hand and knocked, waiting patiently for the door to open or for Remus to shout a greeting or refusal. A few moments passed.

He frowned, and knocked again.

"Remus? Are you there? Dinner isn't ready," He waited. Nothing. He had been sure Remus was in there… Just as he was going to knock again, the door opened. He smiled, slightly relieved, before he saw the duke's face.

Remus’s eyes were slightly red, like he'd been crying earlier. His hair was a mess - even more than usual, at least -, tangled and sticking up every which way. But that wasn’t the worst of it. The part that truly shocked Deceit was his mouth. Stitches ran along his lips, the skin red and puffy were the string disappeared into flesh. It looked like Remus had gone over the stitches several times, multiple threads running together, some of the strands stained pink and crusted with dried blood. Each stitch was closely knit, firmly sowing Remus's lips shut.

A sharp, hollow feeling crept into Deceit's chest.

"Remus," He whispered, eyes wide. "What… what did you do?"

The duke rolled his eyes, and moved to speak. He winced as the strings held, blood slowly dripping from a few of the holes. Remus grabbed Deceit's hand instead, tugging him into the room. Deceit followed numbly, mind struggling to process what was happening.

Remus grabbed a paper from his bed, presenting it to Deceit, somehow uncertain and proud all at once.

Deceit blinked, taking it. Everything felt… slow.

‘Dee, I've sown my mouth shut,’ the note started, painful in the way it was causal. ‘You guys You and the others made it clear that you want me to that this is the best option. I-’

Deceit's hand was shaking. Suddenly, reality caught up with him. He dropped the note, watching it flutter to the ground.

"Remus," He said, his voice surprisingly steady. "Why? Why would you do this to yourself?"

Remus's eyebrows knit together, and he pointed down to the note on the ground. Right. He'd done it because he'd felt that everyone would prefer him this way, Deceit included.

"I never… Remus, I would always prefer you to be silent and hurt over being yourself!" Deceit hissed. "Maybe I have a lot of patience at times, but I always wanted this!"

Remus blinked, drawing back slightly. He seemed confused, like he'd expected Deceit to be happy about this. Like he had honestly thought that he was doing something good.

"What brought this on?” Deceit asked. Things had been getting better for them recently. It was far from perfect - very, very far from it - but Remus had shown no sign of things getting this bad. “What happened to make you think that… that this was the best option?"

Remus paused, hesitating for just a moment before scooping up the note from the floor and pointing to two particular words. The others.

Deceit's hands clenched into fists. How dare they? How dare they?! It was bad enough with how Thomas pushed them away, but for the other Sides to make Remus feel this way? They had no right.

"Remus," He said, trying to keep his voice level. "Please, remove them? We can work everything out after."

Remus shook his head, not meeting Deceit's gaze, as he gently tapped the note again. Right. The others.

"What they think doesn't matter!" Deceit snapped. "Which one was it? Who made you think you had to do this?! We can go and tear them apart."

A small smile tugged at Remus's lips, though tears had started to gather in his eyes. Anger surged up in Deceit's chest. This had gone too far. They had hurt Remus. They had made him cry. Sure, Deceit had a part in it, something that hurt far more than the other Sides’s scorn ever could, but the others were involved as well. And they had gone too far.

Deceit gently pulled Remus into a hug, giving him enough time to pull away. He could feel the other Side slowly relax in his hold, before wrapping his own arms around Deceit's shoulders. He could feel the duke trembling, and heard his sniffling as he cried softly. It had been a long time since Deceit had heard Remus cry, especially like this. Stifled, quiet, and painful- what should have been loud sobs condensed into sniffles and whimpers. Remus hated repressing himself, whether it be in laughter, anger, or even tears. And Deceit could feel his heart break as he realized that Remus had no choice but to do so now, with the stitches firmly in place. it was either this, or risk pain as his wails tore the string through his skin.

"Shh, it's not alright," Deceit murmured. "You're not alright."

He gently rubbed circles into Remus's back, whispering reassurances as Remus broke down. They remained like that for a few minutes, before Remus’s shaking slowly became subtle trembling, and his breath evened out into something just a bit steadier. When he finally seemed to be as calm as he was going to get, Deceit pulled away, keeping his hands on the other Side's shoulders.

"Is there any way I can convince you to take them out?" He asked, frowning as Remus just shook his head again. "...Then how about we pay a visit to the others? And if they still make you feel like this is for the best… well. We can kill them, or at least steal their kneecaps."

That got a soft snort from Remus, which had been Deceit’s goal, but it quickly became a soft sound of pain as the stitches stretched. Still, he slowly nodded in agreement with the new plan.

Deceit took Remus's hand, squeezing it gently to offer a bit of comfort.

"Then let's go."

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Remus allowed Deceit to pull him into the Mind Palace, appearing in the corner of the common room. Suddenly, for all he hoped that Deceit would be right and Remus had simply read things wrong, or fell victim to faulty logic again, or went too far, fear gripped his heart tight and refused to let go.

They'll hate him more when they see what he did. They'll drive him out, or Deceit would actually kill them. Rip them limb from limb, snap their necks, cut through their stomachs, tear out their hearts-

Remus ducked his head, hiding his face. Deceit squeezed his hand again, grounding him. It gave him something to focus on beyond his thoughts, something he was extremely grateful for.

He should have just gone to Deceit in the first place…

"What are you two doing here?" A voice demanded. Ah… of course Virgil would show up first. He always did have a knack for knowing when something was wrong.

"Ah, Virgil," Deceit said calmly. "Don't be a dear and call the others, would you?"

"No. I don't care what you guys want, or what you're playing at, so just leave."

Remus tried to open his mouth, taking a sharp breath as the movement tugged at his stitches. Pain stabbed through each stitch as he grimaced, and his breath caught in his throat. Carefully, he schooled his expression into something calmer.

"Now, now, Virgil," Deceit admonished. "This is in no way important. We will be leaving if they don't speak to us."

Virgil growled.

"I don't want to play your stupid games Deceit! Just-"

"Virge? Kiddo, is something-"

Remus wished he was looking to see Patton's shocked face at finding the two of them here, but he couldn't move his head from its place tucked against his chest. He couldn't let them see.

"Morality," Deceit greeted coldly. "Well, now we have two of the four."

"Deceit, Remus," Patton acknowledged. "What are you doing here?"

Deceit sighed.

"It seems no-one is asking that, and everyone is listening to the answer. We don't need all of you."

"Why?" Patton asked warily.

"This is a very unimportant matter," Deceit hissed, temporarily losing the calm control that he usually had. "If you don't call them right this instant, you will not regret it."

"Ooh," Virgil mocked. "Scary. What, Remus finally shut his mouth, so you have to do the threatening part for him? Gotta say, you aren't that good at it."

Deceit's grip on Remus's hand tightened. Remus himself couldn't help but flinch slightly at Virgil's words. He knew it. He knew they would be happy.

"Anxiety," Deceit said lowly. "If you want to see us leave, you will stop. If you make another remark like that, I swear you will lose your eyes, pinprick by pinprick."

"Deceit!" Patton shrieked. "Don't you dare say something like that again! I would expect that talk from Remus, not you! Now behave, or we'll have no choice but to make you leave."

"Patton? I heard yelli- Deceit!" Oh. Logan was here. Great.

"Logic," Deceit said coldly. "Be reasonable and get the prince down here."

"Why?"

Remus listened as Logan was given a rundown of events by Patton and Virgil, and then sighed. Remus could almost picture the other Side pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance.

"Well then," Logan muttered, before the sound of someone rising up filled the air. "Now we're all here."

"Logan!" Virgil snapped.

"What? If they have something important to say, and won't leave until they say it, it would be best to get it done and over with."

"Uh, why am I- Gah!" Roman cried, and there was a thump as Remus assumed his brother backed up into a wall. "Why are the Dark Knight’s here?! What the heck is going on?!"

"That," Logan said, "is what we will hopefully find out now. Deceit? What is it that you have to say?"

"...That you are all a bunch of fools masquerading as far kinder people than you are at heart. That you can't see the consequences of your actions. That you wouldn't see reason if it stood in front of you waving its arms and screaming."

"Woah now, kiddo," Patton said, "What are you talking about?"

"Obviously, it doesn't actually matter," Virgil muttured. Remus huffed softly, forcing himself not to try to speak past the stitches. It wouldn't do any good. Still, it was a lot harder than he'd first thought it would be.

"You are all just-" Deceit took a calming breath. "Remus? Would you like to show them?"

"Show us what?" Roman asked warily. Remus hesitated, before slowly lifting his head. It would be fine. It would be fine. Just show them. The thoughts circled in his mind, giving him the courage to meet their eyes.

Patton gasped, hands flying to his face as horror overtook him. Logan took a sharp breath as Roman stared with wide eyes. Virgil just watched, frowning.

"K-kiddo, what… what happened?" Patton whimpered, voice muffled by the hands still covering his face.

Remus shifted uncomfortably, and Deceit growled.

"You did! All of you! Somehow you got it into his head that we'd all appreciate this!"

"I mean," Virgil said coldly. "It's certainly an improvement."

"Virgil!" Patton and Logan said at the same time. The anxious side shrunk back, a frown settling on his face.

Logan slowly approached them, stopping as Deceit shifted to block Logan from reaching Remus, like a mother bear defending her cubs. Logan held up his hands, calm and quiet. Maybe Logan also saw the comparison, like Remus did. The way it seemed that Deceit might lash out if he took another step, like a wild animal. Afraid. Protective.

"I only want to see how bad it is. Is that alright?" He asked, acting almost as if any loud noise or sudden movement would result in Deceit snapping. Maybe it would. Remus hadn't seen him like this in a long time.

Deceit paused at Logan's words, before looking towards Remus. It would… it would probably be fine. Logan wasn’t cruel, or hateful. He was only unwelcoming and cold. Remus nodded hesitantly, and Deceit begrudgingly stepped aside to let Logan through. Remus eyed Logan warily as he stepped up to him, moving with that same calm, soothing manner that he had with Deceit.

"We saw you just this afternoon. How many hours has it been since you did this?" Logan asked gently, tilting his head to look closer at the stitching. Remus slowly held up four fingers, and Logan frowned. "This is… well, suffice it to say it's bad. We need to remove the stitches-"

Remus shook his head sharply. Logan frowned, looking towards Deceit, a lost expression on his face.

"Is there a problem?"

"Well," Deceit said, smiling bitterly. "Since he did it for all of us, he'll only keep them if we all agree."

"Oh, of course I don't want this!" Patton all but shrieked. "I might get overwhelmed by you, and not exactly like your contributions, but that doesn't- I never wanted this!"

Roman stepped forwards, still blinking away his shock.

"Remus?" He said quietly, sounding almost scared. "Is this… is this because of me? Of what I said today?"

Remus looked away. It was, partially. He didn't blame them, though. But… based on their reactions… maybe he had gone too far?

"W-well, if it's our stance on this you want, I…" Roman paused, clearing his throat and gathering the right words. "I would greatly prefer it if you let Logan help you. Actually, I'd prefer it if you had never done this in the first place. I'm… I'm sorry, Remus."

"I believe that it's clear what I think," Logan said. "I apologize if I contributed to your decision. Please, allow me to assist you."

Remus blinked, eyes stinging. He tried to open his mouth, wincing as pain shot through his lips and cheeks. Deceit sighed softly.

"I don't agree with them."

Remus wasn't sure what was going on. They all… they all thought this way? Had he really messed up so badly? Logan he had suspected, and he knew Deceit's opinion. Roman, though? Patton? He had thought they would be glad. Remus's gaze drifted to Virgil, along with every other Side. Virgil shrunk under the undivided attention.

"I… Look," He sighed, "I don't like being tricked. I can see the signs of one, even if you guys can't."

"Virgil," Patton said, confused. "Do you really think Remus would hurt himself just to make us feel bad? It… doesn't sound like him."

"Maybe not," Virgil agreed. "But Deceit would do it."

The entire room froze, holding its breath. A thousand thoughts ran through Remus's head in a single moment, but they all screeched to a halt as Deceit spoke, hands trembling slightly.

"Who are you?" He asked softly, and Virgil flinched. "Clearly, you are not Anxiety. He was untrusting and as cold as he was paranoid, but he could still see the obvious. Not Virgil either. He was open and worried, but he saw clearly. So who are you? Who are you to be so cruel? So oblivious and uncaring?

"Do you even hear yourself? You can't be Virgil. He actually knew us. He would know that I would never go this far. That I would never hurt him or Remus. So I will ask again; Who on this earth and all the rest do you think you are?! Who do you think you are to accuse me of that?! To accuse him of that?

"Who are you?"

Virgil stared at Deceit with wide eyes, along with everyone else in the room. Remus looked closer and- were there tears in Virgil's eyes?

"I-I…" The anxious Side gaped, then frowned, and scowled, and then finally grimaced. "I just… Just… do whatever you want."

With that, Virgil sunk out. Everything was quiet for a moment, before Logan coughed lightly.

"W-well, we can handle that later," He said. "Before we do that, are you willing to remove the stitches now?"

Remus hesitated, before nodding slightly. Patton glanced between them and the space where Virgil had disappeared, frowning in uncertainty, before Roman whispered something into his ear. Patton paused for just a moment before he nodded, ducking out after Virgil. That was probably for the best…

Remus was led over to the couch, Deceit sitting on his left and Roman on his right. Logan knelt in front of him with a pair of small scissors and tweezers, gently cutting and pulling the string back through each stitch.

It hurt, but Remus forced himself to hold still. It was… odd, to be surrounded by so many people that were there just to be there. Only the two of them were missing, and understandably so. Virgil… they'd have to talk with him soon. Hopefully Patton was dealing with that alright.

After every stitch was removed, though his lips still stung, Remus opened his mouth and said the very first thing that popped into his mind;

"T-thank you."

"Of course," Logan said, smiling softly. "Just don't make a habit out of it."

"I disagree," Deceit said, nodding. "I would not appreciate it if this was a one-time occurrence."

Remus laughed softly, and… though they would still have to deal with Virgil, and for all that had happened, he thought that...

That maybe, just maybe, it would all be okay.

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

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1. How has covid affected you? It just made me even more of a hermit crab than I already was, which I acknowledge is absolutely nothing at all compared to what so many people around the world experienced. It’s heartbreaking to say the least to see the tremendous effect it had.

2. What is a comfort show of yours ? Shows I grew up with and have seen many times. The other day I couldn’t sleep at all and I decided to put on The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, which used to come on the Disney Channel early in the morning when I was a kid and it was just really comforting and helped me relax enough to fall asleep.

3. Are you open about your past or do you not let anyone in? I’m quite open on here that’s for sure. I’m not nearly as open in person as I am in these surveys.

4. Favourite fast food joint? I don’t have a particular favorite, really, it just depends what I’m in the mood for.

5. Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason? Yes.

6. What is something you have done this year you’re proud of? Nothing. This year has been awful so far due to some health setbacks.

7. Do u ever feel like surveys are usually the same questions? Oh, most definitely. I guess I have to expect that considering how many I take and how long I’ve been doing these things. Still, it does get annoying when the same questions come up a lot back to back. So often I’ll take a survey and then do another after and end coming across the same questions.

8. What were you doing 10 years ago? Ten years ago I was 21. Wow. I was attending community college, I had friends and a social life, I was actually doing something... sigh. Soooo much has changed.

9. Do you call out Karen’s when they’re harassing a cashier? No.

10. Animal crossing , yay or nay? Yay. I was addicted like all of last year and then for some reason I stopped playing a few months ago. I should start up again.

11. Why do you like to do surveys? I just genuinely enjoy doing them. Besides giving me something to do, these are like my diary entries as well. I’m able to vent and ramble, which is often needed. I also like the interesting and random questions to think about and answer. I just like ‘em, man.

12. Did you ever have a MySpace ? Yep. I was super into Myspace back in it’s heyday.

13. Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship? I wouldn’t say they’re toxic, but I don’t know how well they work out. You definitely have to make sure you’ve very, very clear on what all the break entails and that you’re both on the same page.

14. Do you have a YouTube channel? If no , would you create one? If yes what’s your content? I have a YouTube account so I can subscribe to accounts and whatnot, but I myself don’t make videos. I have no interest at all in that.

15. Are you a math person? Noooo. Math and I have always been enemies.

16. What’s the worse thing someone has said to you? Hm. I feel like the worst things have been said by me to myself. :/

17. Have you ever befriended someone because you felt bad? Kind of. :/

18. Would you ever date someone online? Nahh.

19. Have you been ghosted before? Would you ghost someone? I sure have and unfortunately I’ve done it as well. :/

20. When do you think things will be normal again? I don’t know...

21. Do you watch anime? No.

22. Biggest goal you wanna reach before 2020 is over ? Welp, that passed.

23. How old did/do you turn this year ? I’ll be 32. D:

24. Do you like tiktok? I was hooked for a good while and then fell off. It’s been a couple months now since the last time I’ve been on there.

25. Do you ever miss vine? We have TikTok now. But there were a lot of good Vines that still get mentioned and people remember. That was a whole different time.

26. How are you doing, seriously? In the words of MCR, “I’m not o-fucking-kay.” It’s been rough.

27. Is there someone you want to talk to but you know you can’t? Kind of.

28. Do you make jokes to cope with your problems? Self-deprecating jokes are definitely something I do.

29. Have you ever had someone call you their best friend but you didn’t even consider them a close friend? Yes. :X I feel like I’ve definitely been on the other side of that as well, though. I always felt like I was closer to someone and they didn’t feel the same way.

30. Have you ever dealt with a pathological liar? Not to my knowledge.

31. Long or short surveys? Long.

32. If ur in school , are you doing it on zoom or in class? --

33. Would you ever have a pet rat? Gah, no.

34. Favourite memory with your best friend? There’s way too many.

35. Favourite type of content to watch on YouTube? ASMR, vlogs, Disney related videos (history of Disney and its parks, history and information about the movies and TV shows past and present, theories, fun facts, etc), abandoned buildings, lifestyle videos, some drama videos...

36. Are you allergic to anything serious? No, thankfully.

37. Dream job? I don’t have one. :/

38. Do you think dreams mean anything? Sometimes.

39. Fav clothing brand? I don’t have a favorite brand, really.

40. Do you miss anyone? My loved ones who have passed away.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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muffintonic · 4 years

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MY CATU LIVEBLOG

I did it for the crossover, so I thought i’d do it for the new movie (Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe, for those unaware of the acronym)!

TLDR: 8/10 not canon, but surprisingly good nevertheless.

Good: character interactions, dialogue (hilarious), everyone was involved, nice use of Chekhov's guns, absolutely EPIC background music

Bad: off-model issues, animation kind of flash-esque at times, the color palette was more like MML than PnF (more saturated and oddly shaded with clashing colors), overly long gags/pacing problems, immersion-breaking/stereotypical sound effects sometimes, some OOC

Ahh, i've missed Candace's singing.

WAIT A SECOND, WHY DOES HER CHARACTER MODEL LOOK SO MEATY (her head shape is blobby, too)

Oh my god, the entire Hirano family a minute in....i'm living.

Hmmm, the pyramid sports thing was from "Thanks But No Thanks," which is a Season 4 episode. In that episode, Vanessa is dating Monty, which only happened after "Minor Monogram" in Season 3. We know that Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension takes place in July after "Candace Loses Her Head" (since Doof's Drill-inator from that episode is scene in ATSD), but also before or around "Great Balls of Water" (since it's July in that episode) and definitely before "This is Your Backstory" (2D!Doof's advice to Doof is referenced)/"Road to Danville" (Phineas' trust gesture is referenced)/"Fly on the Wall" (the summer song gets referenced). LONG STORY SHORT: if ATSD took place in July, when the fridge does CATU take place if we're considering it canon?

Seriously, her off-modelness is super distracting to me. It was fine that she essentially had a triangle silhouette because she also had stick limbs, but giving her realistically meaty limbs makes me question why the rest of her is shaped like that. Bad.

That is some EPIC opening music!

Okay, the weird shading on that clown is also super distracting. PnF's design aesthetic is light and bright....I wonder if the MML people worked on this movie or something (which would also explain Candace's odd meatiness).

Why are all the lines so thick????? It looks like one of those low-budget toonboom or whatever animations Disney posts to YouTube.

Hmmmmm, Doof did the "evenly matched" thing in "Doofapus," too.

OH MY GOD, THE SATURATED COLORS + DARKNESS + THICK LINES ARE SOOOOOOOOO UGLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Bwahahahahaha, that pause when Candace is like "Actually, yes, WTF is it now?" is hilarious.

I like the detail of how all the kids' bikes are lying there in the driveway.

I would've just grabbed Linda's head and turned it at that point, honestly.

Linda is telling Candace calmly that she's exhausted...WHEN DOES THIS MOVIE TAKE PLACE?!!!!

Candace learns by "Sci-Fi Pie Fly" that she can take a break from busting to the betterment of her mental health sometimes....and that's a Season 3 episode. WHEN. DOES. THIS. MOVIE. TAKE. PLACE.

Ahh, i've missed Baljeet and Buford's banter. #oldmarriedcouple

Phineas is like "Candace wasn't having fun this summer? D:" but, like, if this movie takes place in the middle....they sure as heck didn't acknowledge it for the entire rest of the summer. HRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T JUST RETROACTIVELY INSERT EVENTS IN THE MIDDLE OF A SERIES: WE KNOW HOW THE REST OF THE SUMMER/THEIR LIVES TURNED OUT.

Why is Perry's wrist communicator a square. It's a circle throughout the entire series.

Does Vanessa have a scooter license? Do you need a license to ride a scooter? She was complaining in "Vanessassary Roughness" that she was always riding on the back of Doof's scooter, so I assumed she didn't. We did learn in "Finding Mary McGuffin" that she knows how to drive/has her license in "This is Your Backstory," does that count?

WAIT, WHY IS VANESSA SO PINK???? SHE AND DOOF ARE SUPPOSED TO BE A DIFFERENT SHADE OF WHITE (more coffee-toned) FROM THE FLYNN-FLETCHERS. Goddang, I had always appreciated how even the white characters were all different shades from each other in PnF....what a letdown.

Mmmm, characters either willingly engage in diegetic music in this show ("Where's Pinky?"), or it's just an imagine spot/non-diegetic. "Why do I have a guitar?" is not something that should be said.

Hmmmmmmmm, Candace is faulting the universe.......in ATSD she's talking about the Mysterious Force.....HMMMMMMMMM.....

Sounds like that was what Vanessa used to stop her Evil Busting phase...nice. Also, i'm only ~7 minutes into this movie, but i've spent the last 30 minutes watching it.

Hey, astute observation! That's what I always say: Candace wants to bust her brothers both because their projects can get dangerous ("Happy Birthday Isabella"/"Picture This"/"The Great Indoors"/ATSD/etc), and because she feels overshadowed by them/that they can get away with more than her ("Gi-Ants"/"For Your Ice Only"/"Love at First Byte")!

OH MY GOD, SHE ACTUALLY SAID "...completely overshadowed by Phineas and Ferb?" HOLY VALIDATION BATMAN

Man, i've said it before about Vanessa's deconstruction of Doof's motivations in "Last Day of Summer," but she would make a great therapist or something. I hope she goes into Psychology in the future.

HMmmm, I do kind of wish it was with Stacy that she had this breakthrough with, considering how Stacy's been her best friend since they were 5 years old ("Phineas and Ferb Save Summer")/she's only known Vanessa since "Phineas and Ferb: Summer Belongs to You!" somewhere in June. Like, I get that Vanessa is more in-tune with psychological stuff like this and it makes sense, but i’m just a Stacy fan at heart

Oooh, she's even saying "breakthrough" and "healing!"

UGLY SHADING/SATURATION YET AGAIN (did I mention that the D.E.I. scooter is also the wrong color from how we've seen it before? because it is)

Bwuh, "What Do it Do?" all over again.

Okay, seriously, it looks like the giant thing is floating...where's the shadow under it?? THERE IS NONE.

BRO, THERE HAD BETTER BE MORE STACY IN THIS MOVIE. DON'T TELL ME SHE JUST GETS A CAMEO AT THE BEGINNING.

What did they make her? I want to know!

Ooooh, Candace's hands are way too small in that window shot. The off-modelness is so distracting.

AUGH, PHINEAS HAS A BABY HAND, TOO.

Haha, I love it when debris falls in with Perry when he goes to his lair.

Bwahaha, he's so done with Monogram

They use landlines ("Sipping with the Enemy") and physical files...don't try to tell me that PnF takes place later than 2012 I won't hear it.

NICE FILE PHOTO, CANDY

Wait, they have a whole alert-protocol thing about a host family member getting kidnapped by aliens, but it says to send the assigned agent on the mission??? In "Undercover Carl" and "Bullseye!" Monogram specifically didn't want Perry to get involved (in ATSD Perry was acting on his own), so ????????? Is it because he's their best agent or what?????

Some stuff is missing from Phineas and Ferb's room (on the walls).

GALACTIC WEB???? My first thought was the Galactic Kids Next Door

Haha, oh, these kids. Love little moments like these.

Why do characters always play with a ball when in jail/trapped? 2D!Candace did it in ATSD, too.

Why is that CGI so conspicuous. PnF used CGI sometimes, and it didn't look like butt. We're in 2020, people.

BWAHAHA, Vanessa!!

Ooh, they're bringing back Space Adventure! Now, we know that after "Not Phineas and Ferb" in Season 2 they say they're over it, but also that 9 episodes later in "Nerds of a Feather," Phineas and Ferb go to a convention/dress up from it. WHEN DOES THIS MOVIE TAKE PLACE.

Hmmm, cutaway gags like I remember MML doing...still too Family Guy for my tastes, especially with it being overly long. (I'm also not pleased with how Baljeet's half-lidded eyes goes straight across instead of bending over the curvature of his eye like what PnF usually does....the straight thing is also Family Guy/South Park's style. This does not bode well.)

WHOA, OFF-MODEL BALJEET ALERT!!!!! WHY IS HE SHORTER THAN PHINEAS AND WHY IS HIS ARM BENDING LIKE THAT!!!!

Bruh, Phineas thinking it's dangerous and not asking his friends to go seems OOC. Where was this attitude in "Meapless to Seattle?" In "Night of the Living Pharmacists?" In ANY OTHER dangerous scenario?

I do like how the kids are getting to go with them this time after missing out on ATSD.

NORM?!!!!!!!!!!!

PBBBFFFT, WHY DO YOU THINK GIVING THEM BUFORD WOULD APPEASE THEM

Hey, yeah, they've never made mistakes like this! What's going on?

Okay, seriously, in ATSD and NOTLP the kids don't know who Doof is. WHEN. MOVIE. Also, Doof's lab interior does have the correct items in it, but they're colored + shaded weirdly.

DOOF IS A VIRGO?!! Okay, that tracks with him being incompatible with Sagittarius people from "Love at First Byte."

Mmmm, the animation is definitely more on the "low budget YouTube shorts" level. The way Doof moves....

Yeah, gotta stick to your brand, bwaha!

OKAY, SERIOUSLY, THAT IS NOT THE SAME CHICKEN-REPLACE INATOR FROM "What a Croc!" GET THE GODDANG COLORS RIGHT JEEZ DID THESE PEOPLE NOT LOOK AT A SINGLE MODEL SHEET BEFORE MAKING THIS MOVIE

Bwahahahahahahaha, I missed Buford and Isabella's banter (and Buford is right: they might need a canoe...or maybe that's just my over-preparedness talking)!

Again: "Undercover Carl"/"Bullseye!"

Ah, Buford.

Wait a second, they didn't even have an introduction scene between Doof and the kids like they did in ATSD. *insert thinking emoji here*

Meh, D.E.I.'s been blown up worse before (the "Ask a Foolish Question" time comes to mind)

DOOF YOU ARE THE ADULT SUPERVISION!!!! GAH!!

Wait, what are you talking about Candace? I don't remember a voice automated translator being a thing in the Flynn-Fletcher household. If this is a crack at Alexa/Google Home or whatever, THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN SHOWN TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE IN ALL OF THE EPISODES OF PNF

They could have done a fireman slide, I guess...though maybe the friction would've made that a bad idea.

Okay, is everyone going to get mind-wiped at the end of this or what? Candace didn't even know Vanessa's last name or where she lived in "It's No Picnic," and they definitely didn't seem friendly enough in NOTLP considering all of these interactions. I'm going to count up all the "WHEN MOVIE" comments i've made by the end of this liveblog, and if it's 10+ i'm just going to say the movie is non-canon/just an OVA. I am enjoying it more than the MML crossover so far, so that's good, though.

Haha, oh, Candace. See, this is why she and Stacy are BFFs: same braincell (AKA Stacy's "Elementary My Dear Stacy"/"Put That Putter Away" moments).

OH, CANDACE. XD

OH, SNAP!!!

Ugh, okay, the "WHEN MOVIE" doesn't even matter anymore. Officially non-canon due to irreconcilable timeline a la MML post-2016 reference.

Yay, Isabella showing off her skills again! People tend to forget that she's also smart.

Go, Perry!!

Oh my god, the "unsung hero" being technically sung....good stuff

Oh my god, Perry, nooooo!! Someone save him!

Wait, did Doof purposefully put that platypus-sized spacesuit on the ship for Perry?!! Awwwwwwwww!!

HAHA, BUFORD

Oh my god, Vanessa, noooo!!! D: I bet the pods were sent back to where they came from/Vanessa should've been in the Earth pod.

Goddang, good thing that planet's got breathable air (not that that ever really gets addressed in PnF, haha).

Ah, okay, it took her to the planet the aliens are from. Weird.

Wait, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, these aliens are weirdly humanoid!! What!! PnF was so good about that ("Out to Lauch"/"The Chronicles of Meap"/"Escape from Phineas Tower"/"Sci-Fi Pie Fly")!!

So they were sending out pods looking for a leader? Weird. Also, they already had Candace be the leader in "Gi-Ants"/"Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)."

Wait, they're doing show-tunes, and pretty much only people who are Evil in PnF do that ("Phineas and Ferb Save Summer"/"The Klimpaloon Ultimatum"/most of Doof's songs). I bet they're going to sacrifice her because of a prophecy or something.

Okay, -1000 points for the Floss. I hate it so much. You know what you'd be flossing if you did that with real rope? POOP. GROSS. Bring back Baljeet dabbing if you're going to make a reference like that, dabbing is fun.

Okay, this song is officially going on for too long. I know the overly long gag thing is a Family Guy staple, too. U G H, leave that horribleness out of my wholesome cartoons, please. Goddang, the influence was even in WBB's movie, too (Panda's dead pose). The Horribleness Lovers are infiltrating the animation industry. (How do I know about the Horribleness if I don't watch Family Guy/South Park? From people making infoposts about how horrible they are + reading up on their wikias/watching YouTube analyses of them, of course. Knowledge is power, and you must know your enemy.)

Seriously, open the freaking door. All of these overly long gags are not only unfunny, they eat up the runtime. PnF has great pacing where it's not too fast (Wander Over Yonder was sometimes too fast), but spends enough time on the things that need it. Opening a door is not something that needs time, especially when it's following up an overly long song.

I bet they're going to extract the element from her or something.

I'M PARANOID, TOO

Wait, this lady (I didn't catch her name) seems to be their leader?? Is she abdicating?

So the aliens have a gender binary, too? Is that necessary? Would that be necessary?

Hmm, I know that Doof didn't realize how futile rotating the moon was in "The Doof Side of the Moon" and what a boat was in "Are You My Mummy?" but he tends to be smart about intricate science stuff. Like, the problem with his inators (he even says it himself in "Phineas and Ferb Save Summer") is that he executes them poorly, not that he's failing in other aspects. Like, is this is the same scientist that built a Re-Good inator solely from plane parts in "Where's Perry?"

That cutaway was not necessary.

BALJEET, NO. Also, is it in character for him to be so gung-ho about trying out this unprecedented maneuver? I know he does have a wild side, but it's not usually about science things/throwing things that require this much caution to the wind.

Wouldn't they pass out from the G-forces or whatever?

Wait, what was the point of that alien mammoth getting flung? I mean, I figured that was going to happen to their ship by the way it landed on the mushroom.

Haha, oh, Doof.

XDDDD Buford had better save the day, since he's the only one that doesn't register the ominous tone. If he doesn't that'd be such a waste of the gag.

Haha, Buford. Still my favorite kid. :')

Okay, I seriously can't hear anything this alien leader lady says. It's like she's whispering all her lines with a hoarse throat or half-mumbling parts of her sentences or something. I have my volume turned up, and it's not helping.

Gross. WAIT, ISN'T THAT LIKE WHAT THE CITIZENS OF THE CANDY KINGDOM DO FROM ADVENTURE TIME?

Wait, do they have a farming culture? They were doing something in a field right now.

Hmm, yeah, lots of non-humanoid alien species on this planet alone....did they NEED to make the kidnapper ones so humanoid?

Doof, you even said that there was no adult supervision earlier. XD Isabella's definitely more qualified to lead, considering she's a Fireside Girl Troop leader/her vast array of badges compared to Doof absolutely ruining the Tri-State Area in "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo" and not knowing what leadership entails in "The Beak"/"Last Day of Summer."

Haha, yeah, see! Whip out those badges.

HAHAHAHA, Oh, Doof. I can see him facing front in the card's photo, ahhh, frontal Doof.

DOOF!!! XDD

Oh my god, he took her hat. She looks like she's starting to get pissed....you never want to get on Isabella's bad side. XDD (She knows hapkido/jujitsu from NOTLP)

Oh my god, this song is amazing.

See, songs are okay to be long if they're dynamic: lots of movement between locations, varying camera angles, engaging lyrics, moves the plot forward, etc. Now this is PnF!

Baljeet, please. XD

Oh my god, poor Doof. Yowch! I hope his leg's not broken. D: He's certainly dragging it around like it is.

HAHA, I love how he just calmly zaps it!!! Nice (and a good example of the experience thing he was talking about earlier).

That chicken looks uncomfortably realistic for PnF's style (we've seen Agent C in "Traffic Cam Caper" before and a rooster in "Cheer Up Candace").

They got the farmer's hair color wrong. Interesting that they brought him and his wife back, though!

What's with the sudden cartoony sound effects for Doof falling??????? Bad.

Hmm, the audience seems like they're being mind-controlled.

It can't be the first time ever, since she was a star in "Flop Starz"/"Run Away Runway"/"Lights, Candace, Action!"/"Unfair Science Fair Redxux (Another Story)"/"Gi-Ants."

For a hot second I thought she was going to ask Candace to marry her or join her family or something.

I bet Vanessa is going to tame that alien dragon! Also, I hope they realize she's not on earth soon.

I bet the gift they made Candace at the beginning is going to change her mind about living it up on the alien planet.

Oh my GOD, Candace has shown repeatedly that she loves and cares about her little brothers. WELP, GOOD THING THIS MOVIE AIN'T CANON.

Like, seriously, if this movie was canon, there's no way the boys would ever drop the "Candace is unhappy" thing for the rest of the summer.

HAHA, LIKE I SAID: ISABELLA IS TO BE FEARED. XD Also, wasn't it Candace's fault since she sent them away?

"While I love ominous patch-related threats more than anyone--" *AHEM* "Right, apart from Ferb" BOYS, PLEASE. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I'm getting flashbacks to Horde Prime inviting Glimmer to dinner. Also, I almost typed "Glitter" instead of Glimmer right now.

I bet she killed her brothers or had them mind-controlled or something.

Ooooooof, that's ominous.

Aw, Baljeet's so interested in joining Buford's gang.

Bwahaha, Doof looks so interested! I bet he's going to remember the stuff they're listing for later or something.

DID MONOGRAM JUST SAY DO NOT ENGAGE THE ALIENS BECAUSE OF AN INTER-GALACTIC TREATY?? IS THAT A LILO AND STITCH REFERENCE???? (probably not, but i've been getting into L&S again lately)

Meh, Buford and Baljeet survived being eaten by the worm from "One Good Turn." Those aliens will be fiiiiiiiiiiiiine. :P

Were those alien prisoners rebels or something? They have a hidden city, but they also seemed too scared to be rebels.

Oh my god, cubism.

Okay, so they're not rebels, per se, but they resist by....hiding and cowering. Sort of?

MMmmmyep, the show tunes tipped me off. So these guys got invaded by another alien species, huh? OOF, cordyceps vibes

So she needs Candace to be food for the spores or something?

Yep, she's using Candace as plant food.

Overly long gag again. :\\\\\\\\

Okay, so she didn't kill/mind-control them, but she did lock them up. I was right!

I don't know how their alien biology works, but humans can't eternally walk. Candace's legs would eventually get tired/become not able to move until the lactic acid she builds up wears off. She could also develop varicose veins or blood clots from all that standing. Bad move, aliens.

Yeah, Candace would never do something like that! Also, see: it was her fault they ended up on the prison shuttle, not Doof or Isabella's.

Bruh, the rest of the earth gang breathes CO2...did your scanners not pick up on that?

Oh my god, Candace, don't reveal information that could get earth invaded.

Wait, how was she keeping the mushroom alive before? Where did it come from?

Also, WHAT ABOUT VANESSA!!! SOMEONE SAVE VANESSA!!!

Wait, why was the alien lady holding onto the smaller alien's long moustache? Is he her pet?? CONFUSION

Ugh, they don't have to make every single thing a gag. PnF knew when to make moments real/dramatic. Grow a spine and live with the weight of emotional tension, movie.

ANOTHER OVERLY LONG GAG? No wonder this movie is so long.

Wait, is Shego the VA for the alien lady? The way she yelled sounded like Marlene, who has Shego's VA. I'm going to look this up later.

BWAHA, Vanessa hears the ominous tone, too!

I don't doubt that Doof will be able to cobble something together to get them back, but that honestly has nothing to do with "adulting" since Phineas and Ferb could probably do the same, and they're kids.

I absolutely love how Buford's still carrying that canoe everywhere.

YES!!! Haha, yes, Doof, Perry is your guardian angel (and emotional support animal). :')

I KNEW Vanessa was going to tame that dragon!!

Yeah, see, she never has that dragon again, so this movie is totally just an OVA.

OH MY GOD, PULLING A Chowder HERE, I SEE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Yeah, you can see how off-model/pink Vanessa is right here where she's standing next to Doof. She's supposed to have his brown-tinged coloring (just look at any other time she’s next to him--”Finding Mary McGuffin”/”Minor Monogram”/NOTLP/”Hail Doofania!”/”A Real Boy”/etc).

Bwahahahaha, chicken selfie

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. What would happen if they killed the chicken? Does it only switch with alive chickens?

BWEHEHEHEHEHE

Though I don't like the particular scare chord they used when Doof holds up the Axe inator--very stereotypical/they could've composed a new version, like how Candace's leitmotif is technically Ring Around the Rosie, but different.

Aww, why not, Vanessa? It's your best bet home! Although, I guess it would be awkward considering Perry's right there....

I need to see a photo of the Lieutenant Baljeet's talking about here, for....reasons.

See, Baljeet's recklessness in this movie seems more like something Buford-i'm going to randomly mess with this ("Fly on the Wall")-Van Stomm would do

In "Nerds of a Feather" Baljeet cosplays as a Space Adventure character, so....

"You made another boat?! What've I been lugging this one around for?!" NICE, BUFORD, BWAHA

Wait, how on earth did that work? Can hunks of metal just allow something to fly like that? I admit to not knowing how planes work, but at least those have, like, engines and whatever.

WAIT A SECOND, I SPY MISHTI IN THAT MCFREAKING STADIUM CROWD!!! WHAT IS SHE DOING THERE!!! SHE'S NOT A NORMAL FILLER BACKGROUND CHARACTER!!

Stacy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wonder if they meant to put her mom on the bleacher seat behind her, or if it's another Mishti case.

They spelled his name wrong: we saw in "Doof 101" that it's John P. Trystate (the elementary school is named after him)

Beh, nothing bad is ever supposed to happen to Roger, that's the whole point of his character. Bad.

Ah, Bujeet banter.

WHY IS ISABELLA'S ROBOT A CAT THING

They should've made something to kill the mushroom instead.

OH, JEREMY XD Wait, that didn't sound like Mitchel Musso.

Was he just making those weapons because it's his hobby? Stacy did suggest a compound bow as a gift for him in "Vanessassary Roughness," and there's a bow on the counter

Buford and Isabella banter!

I like the detail of Candace's hair being disheveled and her socks drooping after walking all this time

Aww, does she feel guilty? :(

She does. Again, this movie can't be canon, because they don't acknowledge what she's saying for the rest of the summer and this kind of breakdown would definitely leave a mark on her.

AHA, I knew that gift would come into play!

Aww, that's a cute mug! Also, good on Candace for not drinking coffee!

HMMM, OKAY, SO THE SIBLING HUG FROM "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted," WHICH WAS PERRY'S DREAM, IS ON THAT PROJECTION OF THEIR NICE MOMENTS. TOLD YA: NOT CANON.

Haha, nice @ the new gelatin memory. It aligns nicely with the various things Candace has done offscreen that Phineas and Ferb get a kick out of (getting her face caught in the dishwasher, getting tangled in the clothesline, etc)

The exploding thing is technically a step forward, but, again, the real issue is killing that mushroom. Also, are Doof and Co. still stuck??

"Why does that sound like her name?" "I dunno." BOYS

STACY...JEREMY...LARPING.....Aww, don't be ashamed, Jeremy! Candace does Ducky Momo cosplay, and she accepted your dance deficiency in "Nerdy Dancin'!" I have to say, I love it when Stacy and Jeremy are on the same side, since Candace was sidelining Stacy in favor of spending time with Jeremy for a while (to the point where "Canderemy" happened).

Mmm, I notice a trend in cartoons lately about applying psychology to things. Amphibia, SPOP, Steven Universe...it's nice to get kids used to the idea that introspection is healthy.

DID SHE JUST DIE

Okay, did they just...fly from another planet? The gang went beyond light speed to get back home....there's atmosphere issues....they didn't even bother to try and have them salvage the space suits from the inator even though characters in PnF can't survive in space/always have to wear a space suit (Doof even puffed up in "Out to Launch" when he stuck his head outside without a helmet on, and Perry made sure to put a helmet on him when he was going spaceward in "The Doof Side of the Moon")?

Oooh, okay, furthest chicken. Nice.

Aww, the dragon's shielding them! Reminds me of How to Train Your Dragon when Toothless was protecting Hiccup from the flames

WOW, that is an EPIC remix of Perry's theme music!!! Holy crud, there's not as much background music as usual in this movie, but the music that is there goes HARD.

Bwahaha, to quote Maui: "The chicken lives!"

Oh my god, Baljeet really likes petting zoos? Also, I guess the farmer's last name is McDonald??

Beverly Hills + Beverly Hills adjacent...why XD

The chicken still lives!!

Okay, so she's alive.

Ah, so that’s why the mammoth got flung.

Aw, I wish Jeremy and Stacy had had more of an action scene after gearing up.

Okay, see, this lesson she's learned? How if this movie was canon, none of the rest of the summer would have been possible? MMmmmmmmmyeah.

Wait, so the American police are just taking the aliens?? No special forces or anything?? They're ALIENS.

LAWRENCE, DON'T TOUCH THAT!!

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welp, it took me 5 hours to watch this 1 hr 24 min movie...wowza. I forgot to write it when they occurred, but I didn’t like that the alien lady’s blinking had a sound effect in that one scene or that they used the Wilhelm scream during the final battle. I do wish there’d been more Perry and Doof interactions + some more Stacy, but what we did get was good. There were some pacing problems (too much alien screentime), but the excellent interactions between the PnF gang made up for them. Also, I genuinely laughed at at least two handfuls of moments! Anyway: a good movie!! I'm shocked--i'm so picky, and I haven't liked anything since "Last Day of Summer!" I mean, it's definitely an OVA/not canon, but still!! Solid 8/10.

#phineas and ferb #pnf #pnf spoilers #Candace Against the Universe #CATU spoilers #mine

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the-nysh · 4 years

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Murata updated chapter 172! (and somehow it's even thirstier + garou became sonic the hedgehog + his demon tan is starting to show)

!?!!?!! 👀 Hold on, I just got online and you’re unloading all this new goodness to me; I gotta see this shit for myself!

Chapter 173 of the manga was corrected, the changes being that Garou got his shoulders dislocated, then relocated with the power of Junji Ito, kicked Darkshine in the solar plexus(Murata definitely now had a preference for his drawing his, uh, lower areas), and became Sonic. Bonus him gritting his teeth from the pain being changed to steamy panting, which I’m sure you’ll appreciate.

(Oh, also Garou’s scar was added back (I wonder how Murata keeps forgetting to draw that one?) and there was a small, but nice change to Darkshine’s posture after Garou hits the ground; now Darkshine’s palm is open as if he was about to reach out to Garou as soon as he saw him fall. Gah, the S-class demonstrating the goodness of their heart in the manga is getting to me, Garou look like a true monster during the showdown.)

WHAT WHATTATA?!? Going thru update 172 (ch129, didn’t see any changes made to update 173 tho, so looks like Murata only edited Garou’s chapter this week, heh nice), here’s some differences! :O

(Original left, updated right) Zoomed in a bit more, no more knees showing but now there’s extra leg hatching, and a new Darkshine expression!

Whoa!!! :O This part is brand new! After the ‘gigantic fear’ double spread, omg Darkshine reacts with a double bazooka attack, and holy shit, Garou just tanks them in the shoulders! D8 Pushed back, lul more leg, and healed with the power of dark Junji Ito vortexes~ But omg yeah, it’s that same spiral pattern for the injuries just like on his abdomen from Orochi’s stab wound. Interesting. I feel like with too many of these on him though, his design may get overly busy, but if it helps explain the growing ‘darkness’ enveloping/healing his body, then…👀

Ooooh!! A new kick counter! :O (With the added spirals on the shoulders in the left panels too.) Actually this better explains how he was able to knock Darkshine off guard + down from before (compared to him yelling into just nailing him down by the throat.) Now there’s all these extra counter moves in between! Also lul, the literal Sonic hedgehog spin, and a new backside shot, Murata pls! X’D But you know what these two new panels remind me of?! These two previous moves he’s done before, vs the A Class heroes and Metal Bat:

Oho! Even the similar way he goes from the spin into another kick counter at the head/throat. That time Metal Bat held his ground and the move didn’t work, but this time, whoop, there Darkshine goes~ (Yup Garou’s gained some significant power compared to back then.)

^More shoulder spirals consistently added to these panels too.

(First version left, updated right) Ah! Yep, Murata added back the scar (that he somehow often forgets to draw, maybe he just defaults to clean Garou~) But yes, there’s several more changes here, including the shoulder spirals (where now it looks like the ‘crack’ sound effect is coming from them, plus the other sound effect covering his leg is removed Murata pls), more creeping black stuff on his face in the lower panel, and Darkshine’s new concerned hand gesture reaching out to him, aww. :’) It seems all of Darkshine was redrawn there too.

ALSO THIS!?!? (Dang, I didn’t save a copy of the lower panel from before to compare the change to his expression. EDIT: found it!) What the, holy shit Murata, control your thirst! X’D His face is darkened, there’s more of that black vortex stuff spreading bigger over his shoulders and it explains how it creeps up both sides of his face now (not just one side anymore, eep;;), but also….WHY IS IT NOW ALL STEAMY!!??! Buahaha oh my god!! Murata, you just had to do it to him, didn’t you. ;D Instead of just gritting his teeth in pain from before, he’s uhhh…doing that instead, geez. Also noteworthy cause Garou’s tanked and endured a lot of pain/punishment from before, and he’s always managed to ignore/grit through it and stand back up again. But this looks like the first time it’s ever forcefully made him actually double over on his knees. D: That’s pretty !!! significant compared to just how much (the level/pain tolerance) he can usually take. (Holy fuck, why is all of this so super suggestive now, esp with the added panting, guahaha Murata you fiend!) It’s testing his limits for sure, and if Garou can manage to overcome and get thru this (and survive the collapsing room) then…..only Murata knows how much more this will affect/change his appearance from here on out!

Aha, and so I love how when it’s a week later from the last ch, and on a usual Thurs/Fri update day too, Murata decides to go back and update the previous Garou content instead (which was actually the second most recent ch he could have worked on) because of course he would. :P If Murata thinks of new Garou stuff he can add, then he’s gonna go right ahead to jump on that and do it, ahaha. 8D Thanks anon for informing me of the new updates!

#Anonymous #replies #opm #garou #panel comparisons #manga spoilers #commentary #long post #murata has no chill and he cannot be stopped #oh my god can murata get any thirstier for him :P #some new counter moves and the spiral shoulder injuries kinda explaining where the creeping black stuff over his face comes from #(also like spinning hedgehog sonic it's spinning kicks like miruko's style again...!!)#the new panting stuff is just wtf geez X'D murata you are NOT subtle gwahaha #anyway i didn't see murata tweet about the changes to ayy thanks anon for letting me know! <3

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saiilorstars · 4 years

Text

Falling in Temptation

Ch. 15: The Task of Death

Previous chapters • Sequel to Stars Dance • Fairy Tale Memoirs (Companion story)

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 11th Doctor x Female OC

Chapter summary: Melody Pond strikes back against the Doctor with a secret weapon from Kovarian. When the Doctor is dying, who can save him?

Taglist: @ocfairygodmother @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel

4 Months After Demon's Run.

The Doctor, Lena and the Sapling all awaited outside the TARDIS in the center of a crop field. It was no ordinary crop field though because somebody had decided to write 'Doctor' in it, making it the number one headline in Leadworth. The Ponds were very creative, the Doctor would give them that. With no other choice, he had to come back and visit them to update them on the search for Melody and Avalon. In no time they saw Amy and Rory coming to a halt in their car, both getting out with utter urgency.

"Seriously?" the Doctor raised the Leadworth newspaper to the pair. "You do realize you can't do this, right?"

"You weren't answering your phone," Rory snapped at the Doctor as he shut the car door. Neither of them looked guilty for what they'd done.

"Because we were searching," Lena explained. She was supposed to be in charge of keeping the connection between the Doctor and the Ponds, given the Doctor's reputation with phones and whatnot. But in the end, they'd gotten in too deep with the search after getting the clue Avalon left behind for them.

They took every Black Market by storm afterwards, and there were a lot of them. The Sapling had even used his unique abilities to instill new fear in those who were holding things back. With a raging, gigantic tree threatening them, everybody sang like canaries.

Kovarian had been picking up devices for mind altering. Brainwashing to the next level.

Others reported that she was gathering chipping devices. She would probably be branding Avalon and Melody soon enough.

Several of the people described watching Kovarian order Avalon to go to the end of an aisle and back. It was an odd test for them but the Doctor straightaway knew what the purpose of it was. Kovarian wanted to see how conditioned Avalon was. If she came to and back without so much of a kick in protest, it meant Avalon would be a loyal, dependent toy. And all that took the trio a month to gather, leaving everybody back on Earth in distraught over their lack of communication.

"OK, you've had all summer," Amy got straight to business and walked for the Doctor. It'd been the longest summer of her life, definitely the most unbearable one. Things had to be better now. "Have you found them? Have you found Melody and Avalon?"

The Doctor took a moment to look back on his recent efforts to find both mother and daughter. He handed the newspaper to Rory. "Permission?" he asked the human.

"Granted," Rory motioned for him to go on.

The Doctor hugged Amy tightly, "You know who Melody grows up to be, so you know I will find her."

"But you haven't yet?" Amy assumed the last the words, "Not even Avalon?"

"No," the Doctor quietly mumbled.

"But we won't give up," the Sapling said with a finger raised in the air. It brought a momentary smile from Amy, but it was short lived when they heard Rory's puzzled question.

"Hang on, what's this bit?" he was staring at the newspaper with Lena as the picture of the crop circle now showed a slash through the word 'Doctor'.

Amy walked over and took a look, "That wasn't us."

The Doctor took the newspaper and tried seeing where the line would be coming through in the real world. Everyone gathered behind him to try and pinpoint where the exactly that mysterious line came from. However, he stopped and lowered the newspaper when the noise of car came into hearing shot. They screamed as a bright red Corvette headed straight for them. They jumped out of the way just as the car did an abrupt stop only inches from the TARDIS. The driver's door opened up and out stepped a dark skinned young woman with blue eyes and black hair, dressed in a pink and black dress with black boots.

Lena rubbed the dust out of her eyes and immediately recognized the woman across them. "Mels? What are...what are you doing here!?"

"Lena can't you ever keep up?" Mels raised an eyebrow. Lena rolled her eyes but didn't say anything back. She wasn't quite for Mels' attitude. "I was following you. Oh, and I also acted as a delivery girl."

"Um, where did you get the car?" Rory dreaded to ask. It looked far too new for Mels to own.

"Like I said, I'm acting as a delivery girl right now," Mels whistled through her fingers and made everyone cover their ears.

The passenger door of the door opened up and out stepped a familiar, messy ginger haired woman.

"Avalon?" Lena's mouth fell open.

"Mother!" the Sapling squealed and jumped to his feet. He and Lena ran towards Avalon, each encasing her in a tight hug. However, Avalon didn't say anything. She cocked her head to the side, darting immediately to Mels as if she held all the answers.

The Doctor straight away noticed something different about Avalon. It was what stopped him from running towards her. She was looking around like she was new to the place, her eyes filled with confusion and...fear? That was not his Ava, not by a long shot. However, nobody else found such differences in that moment. Amy and Rory had followed in the others' foot steps and ambushed Avalon in more hugs. The Doctor turned his head towards Mels and watched the woman smirk proudly, like she knew what was happening.

"Get off me!" Avalon suddenly cried and pushed everyone away from her. Her nose crinkled while her eyebrows knitted together. She was angry. "Get the hell away from me!"

"A-Avalon..." Rory tried taking a step towards her but she drew back the same step.

"Stay away," she warned them with a pointed finger. "Mels!"

"Oh don't worry," Mels strolled over to the woman's side and swung an arm around her shoulders. "They're pretty harmless."

"I don't...I don't understand..." Amy directly looked at the Doctor for the answers they were demanding now.

The Doctor walked up to Avalon and struggled to ignore the fearful retraction of her steps. "Avalon, do you know who we are?"

She looked him over and stared at him for a few minutes. In those minutes, the Doctor studied her to the brim. Her eyes were red and puffy, a clear sign that she'd been crying not too long ago. Her voluminous hair was a bit lifeless at the moment, as if no care had been given to it in a good while. Her skin was a shade of sickly pale and she did look like she'd lost some weight. If he looked really hard, he could see her shake as if she'd been shocked. The bruises on her arms were heartbreaking. It was a heavy challenge not to touch the healing stitches on her arms.

"You're the Doctor," Avalon said after a moment but when she did, the Doctor swore there was a brief flash of anger in her eyes.

"Did she lose her memory? Is that what's going on?" Lena called from behind, attracting the eyes of her sister. "Avalon?"

"Lena," she recited before doing the same to the Sapling, Rory and Amy. "They...they did something...I c-can't...remember...my thoughts..." her shaky hand tried to gesture something beside her head. "All j-j-jumbled up."

Now the Doctor laid dark, suspicious eyes on Mels who couldn't seem more delighted with the scene. "Where did you find her?"

"What, did you lose her or something?"

The Doctor glared and waited for her to say what he needed to know.

"Mels, this is important," snapped Amy. "Where did you find Avalon?"

"Gah!" Mels dramatically threw her arms in the air. "What does it matter? I found her on the entry road to the town! Poor thing can't remember, well...a thing!" she gently tapped Avalon's head, a small action that still elicited a great flinch from Avalon. "Hello? Nobody's home!"

The Doctor yanked Avalon away from Mels with a look warning her not try that again. "Was anybody with her? Did she say anything?"

"So boring," Mels rolled her eyes. "I'm kind of in a rush, actually. Errands to run and whatnot!" A few seconds later, the group heard the blaring sirens of police cars.

There was a collective groan from Lena, Amy and Rory.

"Mels, did you steal the car?" Rory was too tired to deal with this nonsense.

"I'll have you know that it's mine," Mels wagged a finger but at the growing glares of her friends she groaned, "...ish! It's mine-ish!"

"Oh, Mels, not again?" Amy sighed as she rubbed her forehead, "We really don't have time for this today."

"You can't keep doing this. You'll end up in a real prison," Rory added.

"I can see why your father disapproves of her," the Doctor whispered to Lena as he brought Avalon towards the TARDIS.

"Mhm," Lena crossed her arms, "She's half the reasons why Avalon was put under arrest."

"Is that the phone box!" Mels was studying the TARDIS from her spot, somewhat impressed. She'd heard Avalon tell the stories of the box but it didn't compare to seeing it in person. "The bigger-on-the-inside phone box? Time travel - that's just brilliant," she then eyed the Doctor, "Yeah, I've heard a lot about you. I'm their best mate."

"Then why don't I know you?" the Doctor challenged, still unable to trust her despite her relation with the entire group, "I danced with everyone at the wedding. The women were all brilliant, the men were a bit shy."

"I don't do weddings," Mels made a face. She looked back as the sirens grew closer, "And that's me out of time," she took out a gun and aimed it at the Doctor.

The Doctor pushed Avalon away within the second. Rory lunged to catch Avalon before she would fall and once he touched her, he realized how incredibly cold she was.

"M-Mels...not yet..." Avalon said before she even realized she said it. There were so many thoughts inside her right now, she had to sort which ones were pertinent to the situation.

"Mels, for God's sake!" Lena groaned, "You're actions get stupider by the day. Avalon is...sick," she considered her choice of words carefully since her sister truly looked terrified as she basically clung Rory, "And we need your help so put that thing away."

"I'll get her to put it down," the Sapling glowered at the woman. He put his hands together and extended them forwards...when the Doctor pushed them down. "Father!"

"No," he said calmly. He needed Mels inside the TARDIS so he could question her until she passed out from exhaustion. She had more information than what she was letting on and he wasn't going to let her get away.

"I need out of here, now, can you deliver?" Mels looked at the Doctor questioningly.

"Anywhere in particular?"

"Well, let's see! You've got a time machine, I've got a gun. What the hell - let's kill Hitler."

~ 0 ~

Yes, the Doctor could see why Ryland Reynolds disapproved of the Mels' friendship with his daughters. First, she influenced Avalon negatively, she wasn't very well-mannered, and third...because...

"You've shot it!" the Doctor shouted angrily as he stared at the bullet hole that was in the time-rotor casing, the TARDIS already affected badly with the sparks and smoke it billowed while flying out of control. The Doctor turned to Mels, "You shot my TARDIS! You shot the console!"

The girl was holding onto the railing, "It's your fault!"

"Argh! How's it my fault?!"

"You said guns didn't work in this place. You said we're in a state of temporal grace!"

The Doctor tried working the controls to get them flying in a stable manner, "That was a clever lie, you idiot! Anyone could tell that was a clever lie!"

The travelers were thrown all around the room as the TARDIS crashed into a landing, God knew where. The Doctor had opened the doors and pulled out Avalon first since she looked the weakest out of everyone.

"Out, out, out! Everybody out. Don't breathe the smoke, just get out!" he called to the others whilst coughing from the smoke spewing out from the box.

"Where are we?" Amy stumbled out the box, with her pulling the Sapling.

"A room."

"What room?" Rory coughed.

"I don't know! I haven't memorized every room in the universe. I had yesterday off," the Doctor caught Mels trying to get back into the TARDIS, "Mels, don't go in there!"

"Oi!" Mels frowned as her gun was snatched away from her hand.

"Bad smoke! Don't breathe the bad, bad, smoke. Bad, deadly smoke, because somebody shot my TARDIS!"

Lena stood beside Avalon, helping her stand straight, "You okay?"

"I-I have to do something," Avalon coughed and struggled to breathe in. "My body hurts!"

Lena knew that had to be true. Avalon looked exhausted and the last thing she needed was to be bounced all around inside a shot time traveling machine. "I know, I know, we're going to get this all sorted and then you're going to take a big nap! We could make hot chocolate and oh! We could watch Sleeping Beauty!" she threw her arms around Avalon, momentarily relishing that her sister was back. She was alive!

"What?" Avalon only frowned. "What's Sleeping Beauty?"

Lena pulled away and incredulously looked at Avalon. She had no idea, she really had no idea! Lena turned to the Doctor for some help. "What did they do to her?"

The Doctor let go of Mels but not without warning her to stay put. He strode up to Avalon and took her by the head, specifically studying her eyes. "It's ECT side effects and the overuse of memory wipes. They've been working very hard on her."

Avalon scrunched her face and tried pushing his hands off her. "Stop it! Let go!" she exclaimed, a bit too frantic for such a small moment.

But the Doctor knew that had to be a consequence from whatever torture she'd gone through. He let go of her and kept his hands raised, wanting her to see that he wasn't one of those people who would hurt her. "Ava, it's me. Remember? I'm...well...I'm your Fairy tale man, remember?"

There was no significant reaction from Avalon - that alone hurt the Doctor - but she did abandon her brief suspicions over him. "You're...my friend..." She suddenly yelped when a sharp pain struck her head. She cried and clapped her hands to head. Images were running through her mind but they were going so fast like somebody had pressed the forwarding button 4 times.

"Yes, glad we got that cleared up," the Doctor rocked on his shoes. "Because as the 'fairy tale man' that's not the right thing to do."

Avalon briefly smiled but it was done with flushed cheeks. "You know you don't have to keep answering to that name, right? It was a stupid nickname I gave you when I was some stupid kid..."

"It's not stupid," the Doctor promised her, though his amused expression didn't quite convince her.

"Please, what do you call him, eh?" Idris encouraged Avalon to say the answer out loud. "That name you gave him when you were just seven years old."

"Fairy-tale man," Avalon answered slowly, still in confusion.

"And that is exactly what he doesn't want to lose," Idris smiled sadly, "That image you have of him since you were seven."

The Doctor and Lena struggled to calm Avalon down but suddenly, just like that, Avalon sucked in a deep sharp breath and snapped her head up. "You're my Fairy Tale Man!"

"What was that?" Lena frowned. "Avalon, you were in pain-"

Avalon practically shoved her sister away and grabbed the Doctor's arm. "You're my Doctor! You-you found me!"

The Doctor didn't exactly know how she was getting her memories back, nor if it was a trick, but he wanted to be a bit happy right now that she was remembering him. "Yes, I am. I am..."

Avalon took him into a tight hug. The Doctor wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tightly as if she were about to disappear again. He kissed her hair a few times, not that she would notice.

"Doctor, this guy, I think he's hurt!" Rory had found an unconscious man on the floor, his body poking around his desk. Rory rushed over to help him but when he did, he found that the man was alright. "No, hang on. No, he's... he's fine." Well, something good had to happen he supposed.

Against his wishes, the Doctor pulled away from Avalon and gave her a small smile. "You'll be just fine now, Ava." She nodded and watched him go then patted something in her back pocket.

"Mother!" the Sapling would take his turn and hug his mother. "You're okay! We've been looking for you!"

"That's you're kid?" Mels gave a horrid-eye stare at the Sapling. In return, the Sapling stuck his tongue out at the woman.

"Ooh, hello! Sorry, is this your office?" the Doctor asked the man who was now getting up. "Had a sort of collision with my vehicle. Faults on both sides, let's say no more about..." words left him when he saw Adolf Hitler turning around "…it."

"I remember him..." Avalon's eyes widened in horror at the sight of the man.

Slowly, the companions moved to the Doctor, "Is that...? No, it can't be, Doctor?" Amy struggled to speak coherently.

"Thank you. Whoever you are, I think you have just saved my life," Hitler honestly said, chuckling at the group.

"Believe me... it was an accident," the Doctor blinked rapidly.

"What is this thing?" Hitler blinked at the sight of the TARDIS and walked to it.

"What did he mean we saved his life?" Amy tapped the Doctor's arm, "We could not have saved Hitler."

"You see?" the alien groaned, "You see, time travel, it never goes to plan."

"I think we need to get out of here," Lena shook her head.

"This box, what is it?" Hitler looked at the group.

"It's a police telephone box from London, England," the Doctor walked over, "That's right, Adolf, the British are coming!"

Hitler didn't seem to take notice of the answer as he watched past the group to the man who tried killing him rise to his feet, "No, stop him!"

Rory punched Hitler on the chin and picked up the gun while Hitler fell to the floor, "Sit still, shut up."

Lena and Amy went to check on the second man. "Are you OK?" she asked as she and Amy helped him up.

"Yes, yes. Yes. I'm fine. I think he missed."

"He was going to kill me," Hitler tried saying but there was nobody listening to him.

"Shut up, Hitler!" Rory ordered with the gun still aimed.

"Rory, take Hitler and put him in that cupboard over there now," the Doctor ordered as he went to the attacked man, "Do it!"

While Rory shoved Hitler into the cupboard while the Doctor helped the second man sit up. "Are you okay?" he wondered.

"Oh, I..." the man started but fell back, unconscious again.

"Um, he just fainted," Lena remarked, surprised.

"Yes, that was a faint," the Doctor agreed as he stood up and studied the man, "A perfect faint."

"What? You think that was intentional?" Lena looked at the man with new suspicion. There could not be more trouble right now, this was just really bad luck.

"Mels?" Avalon's voice pulled the group's attention. She was gazing worriedly at Mels across the room who had her hands pressed against her stomach. "Are you alright?"

"Hitler..." Mels looked at the cupboard.

"What about him?" Lena raised an eyebrow, half expecting the woman to make some cruddy joke about their situation.

"Lousy shot," Mels said before she collapsed to the floor. Everyone dashed to her side, including Avalon who took first place at Mels' left side.

"Mels!" she took Mels' hand.

"Rory," the Doctor motioned for the nurse to start helping. He made sure the Sapling stayed a decent distance from them. The last thing he wanted was for the Sapling to see more blood than he needed to.

"I've got to stop the bleeding," Rory exclaimed.

"Well, how bad is it?" Lena stared at Mels with concern, knowing a cure from Avalon wouldn't work now.

"Just keep her conscious! Stay with us, Mels."

"Hey, look at me. Just hold on," the Doctor tried to get the girl's attention.

"I don't know what is so cool about you," Mels honestly remarked to him while looking at Avalon. "You said he was cool but he's not."

The Doctor rolled his eyes, of course she was dying and insulting him, "Alright, fine, let's make a list of why I'm not cool, then! Any suggestions?"

But Mels wasn't paying attention to him. She was whispering something into Avalon's ear. When Avalon pulled away, she was blinking rapidly. It earned herself some questionable looks from the others, especially the Doctor.

"Almost time," Avalon repeated, nodding her head.

"Time? Time for what?" the Doctor stared at her suspiciously.

"I-I don't remember..." Avalon looked down at Mels questioningly, "...is it time?"

Mels smirked and looked at the others anxiously waiting for her to either die or live. "Wanna know a secret?" she asked. "I didn't really 'find' her at the entry road," she whispered, "...she was handed over by the big ole boss."

The Doctor's eyebrows shot up, "WHAT?"

Mels smirked as her hands started glowing with regeneration energy. The Doctor quickly stood up and shooed everyone back, pulling Avalon to him in the process.

"No! No! Stop it!" she yelled at him to let go. She wanted to run back to Mels, but the Doctor held her arm to keep her still.

"Father, is she like you?" the Sapling was making a face as the regeneration energy got stronger around Mels.

"Last time I did this, I ended up a toddler in the middle of New York," Mels gazed at her hands that were almost completely enveloped by the energy. She really hoped this time she would get it right because it'd been a pain in the ass having to grow up all over again. If she got this right, then she would finally be free.

"OK, Doctor, explain what is happening?" Amy shot a look at the alien, "Please!"

The Doctor was nearly kicking himself for being so stupid. All this time, searching through the galaxies when he himself had said that Kovarian could hide Melody and Avalon right under their noses. "Mels, short for...?"

"Melody," Mels answered with a wide smirk. She knew exactly what he was thinking. "Gotcha!"

The Doctor then shot the same look back to Amy, a bit irritated she hadn't mentioned this to him. Nobody had bothered to mention that the mysterious friend 'Mels' everyone always talked about was in reality named Melody. That would've been extremely helpful. Amy, however, didn't see the problem so clearly yet...along with the others. "Yeah, I named my daughter after her."

"You named your daughter... after your daughter."

"Took me years to find you two. I'm so glad I did," Mels honestly said to her parents, "And, you see, it all worked out in the end, didn't it? You got to raise me after all."

"You're Melody?" Amy's eyes widened.

"No, my head hurts," Lena was thinking how they could have missed this. Mels never gave an indication that she knew more about the Doctor than them. She was always curious, yes, even asking questions like Avalon would.

Rory, however, was thinking farther ahead. "But if she's Melody, that means she's also..." he glanced at Avalon who didn't even notice as she stared in horror at her friend.

"Oh, shut up, Dad! I'm focusing on a dress size," Mels struggled to say right before the regeneration took her over. The group shielded their eyes from the blinding energy. Once it was over, a new, yet familiar, person stood across them. "Right, let's see, then!" River Song gasped as she started taking a look at her new self, "Ooh, it's all going on down there, isn't it? The hair!" she touched her hair and ran to a long mirror on the wall. It was incredibly voluminous. "Avalon, I beat you this time!" she cheered and glanced back at the ginger who was blankly staring at her. "You're going to have to pass on the tips, though!"

Neither knew their similar hair went deeper than just a coincident.

"Everything changes!" Melody laughed, "Oh, but I love it, I love it! I'm all sort of... mature!" she set her foot on the endpiece of a furniture beside her, "Hello, Benjamin!"

"Who's Benjamin?" the Sapling tilted his head.

"Tree kid, you couldn't keep up even if you tried!" River sighed and gasped as she passed her tongue over her teeth, "The teeth, the teeth! Oh, look at them!" she pointed to her mouth, "Excuse me, you lot, I need to weigh myself!"

The group leaned on the edge of the desk except for Avalon who had walked a couple steps away from them. Something was coming and she needed to be ready, but she couldn't quite remember.

"That's Melody?" Amy breathed in, her eyes wide as could be.

"That's River Song," Lena shook her head. She felt like something was compressing her head because everything hurt up there.

"Who's River Song?" Melody stood at the doorway with curiosity.

"Spoilers," the Doctor decided no word than that one fit better.

"Spoilers? What's spoilers? Hang on, just something I have to check!" and she ran back to the restroom.

"She's...River Song," Rory whispered quietly. Oh, time travel was really hurting right now.

"And she's also my sister's mother!" Lena whisper-hissed. Speaking of...

At the mention of Avalon, the Doctor stood away from the desk and walked over to her, "Ava?" he cautiously turned her to face him, "You alright?"

"Honestly, no," she put a hand on her stomach, "I feel terrible. I c-can't remember anything except th-that there's something really important I have t-to do. But I feel sick. And everything hurts."

"I promise you we will get you sorted as soon as the TARDIS is safe to get back inside in." He didn't want to touch her since almost every part of her arms were covered in bruises, but he did want to hold her.

"But what about Mels? Or, River..." she moved her hand to her forehead, "...all this time she was really the daughter of Amy and Rory? No, wait..." Avalon's head snapped to the side when she realized something, "I knew th-that already. I...I l-learned that...I'm forgetting things."

"Your head's a bit, uh, it's bit jumbled up," the Doctor gently said as he turned her head back to him. "But you'll get better."

"I-I..." Avalon blinked as if there was something in her eyes. The images were coming fast again.

"Ah, that's magnificent!" they heard Melody shout from the restroom. Quickly, she returned to the room with a bright smile, "I'm going to wear lots of jumpers! Well, now, enough of all that!" she shrugged and pulled out a gun which was aimed at the Doctor, "Down to business."

"Mels, what are you doing?" Lena sighed, "This isn't you. Well..."

"She's doing exactly what she's programmed to do, baby sister," the Doctor slowly moved for Melody.

"Where'd she get the gun?" Rory had to ask. How on Earth could Melody - River - carry a gun when she'd just regenerated?

"Hello, Benjamin," the Doctor recalled, "It was in the chair..."

"You noticed!" Melody chuckled and fired but found the gun was empty.

"Of course I noticed," the Doctor smirked at his quick-wit, "As soon as I knew you were coming, I tidied up a bit."

"So you're one step ahead of me, then?"

"Always."

Melody smirked and looked past him. "But are you though?" At the sound of a click, the Doctor turned back to find Avalon holding another gun at him from her spot. Alright, that one scared him a little bit.

"Ava, put that down..." he slowly raised a hand, barely moving an inch forwards when Avalon waved the gun at him again.

"I-I don't remember when somebody told me to do this..." she admitted, but it still didn't make her lower the gun.

"That would be me," Melody said for everybody's clarification. "Posthypnotic suggestion, anybody?" It was the same trick the Silence used on the humans while they were watching over her. "Kovarian made sure to leave her very well trained for this moment."

"You made Mother do this?" frowned the Sapling. "Why!? She's done nothing wrong!"

"Mmm, clearly you haven't learned everything about dear old Mummy," Melody rolled her eyes. "Mummy's not that innocent, you know? She and I...we've had our fair share of moments."

"If she's your friend, then why would you do this to her!?" Amy didn't know whether to cry over her daughter's twisted mind or scream out of frustration.

"Because it's what I'm supposed to do," Melody said quietly. "That's the order and I learned a long time ago that when Kovarian makes an order, you follow it...or else."

There was a sharp tinge in the last words that made everybody wonder what Melody had to go through to make that discovery.

"Hey, hey, Avalon, it's me," the Doctor was still holding his hands up. "We went over this remember? I'm the Fairy Tale Man and I came here to rescue you."

"No you didn't, you didn't save me," Avalon shook her head, eyes tearing up in a matter of seconds. It broke the Doctor's hearts because she was saying the truth. He failed her and her mother. "I-I can remember...bits and p-parts...they-they hurt me. And then...and then they hurt me again, and again..." her face scrunched with raw anger and despondence. "They kept hurting me..."

"I know, Ava, I know," the Doctor's own eyes teared up. "It's all my fault but listen, that will never happen again. I'll die if it means you'll live happily and safe. But right now, Ava, right now I really need you to put the gun down. It's okay if you hurt me, but you don't want to hurt Lena, right? Or Amy and Rory? Or the Sapling?"

Avalon's eyes flickered to the others in the room. They were all so scared - though she didn't know they were scared for her and not of her - and the Sapling seemed to want to hide from her. Something went off her in mind and it made her drop the gun on the floor. "Oh my God!" she blinked. The Doctor quickly seized the gun from the floor and gave it to Rory. "Oh my God! Oh my God! I didn't...Doctor, I didn't mean it! I-I didn't mean any of that! Oh my God!" she brought her hands to her mouth as her tears streamed down her eyes. "What did they do to me!?"

The Doctor hurried over to her and pulled her into another hug. She cried and shook between his arms while she begged him to forgive him.

Lena was infuriated to see her sister so...broken. Avalon was always so put together, a leader, and she knew exactly what she wanted at all times. Lena rounded on Melody with the ugliest scowl marking her face. "What did you do to my sister!? Fix her right now!"

"I told you," Melody shrugged carelessly. "Posthypnotic suggestion. Kovarian left instructions that I only reinforced."

"You whispered into her ear," Rory recalled the moment just before Melody had regenerated.

Melody smiled. "Use the gun when I use mine. Simple, but very effective."

"And where'd Avalon get the gun from?" demanded Amy.

"Kovarian gave her one!"

"You're a psychopath!" Lena erupted into a loud scream that could probably echo down the streets. She didn't care if this was her friends' daughter, nobody hurts her sister. "Avalon is your friend! Instead of helping her, you're dooming her!"

"I am helping her!" Melody argued defensively which just made incredulously glare.

"How are you helping her!?"

"I may be a psychopath, but I'm also honest."

"You were not a psychopath! Why would she be a psychopath?" Amy snapped at both women for using that horrible term. However, Melody didn't look at all offended by the term.

"Oh, Mummy, Mummy, pay attention," Melody groaned, "I was trained and conditioned for one purpose. I was born to kill the Doctor."

"Demons Run, remember? This is what they were building, my bespoke psychopath," the Doctor explained whilst still holding onto Avalon. He was rubbing a hand down her back, hoping to soothe her until she could understand that he had nothing to forgive her for. "What I can't understand is why you felt the need to get my Ava involved."

"Yeah, Mother didn't do anything wrong," the Sapling chimed in with his own glare.

"No, she only got involved," Melody shook her head. Things were supposed to have gone a different way but Kovarian just chucked Avalon to her at the last minute and expected Melody to work with what she had. "Nice going there. She always looked up to you. She went on and on about how the Doctor could save anyone. Well guess what? You didn't save her nor me!" Because if he had saved her, she could've grown up with her parents. She wouldn't have had to grovel on the streets of New York, swallowed up by an astronaut suit. She could've had what Amy had as a child, what Rory had, what the Reynolds had. She could've been like them and then maybe she could've traveled with the Doctor too.

"You're right," the Doctor agreed with a nod.

"No, big brother," Lena turned back to him but he had long ago made up his mind about the matter.

"I didn't save either of them. I put them into this situation," he looked down at Avalon who had buried her face in his chest. "I put people I care about in danger and I don't save them."

"No, no, that's not true," the Sapling frowned. "You've saved so many people, Father. It's impossible to save everybody. Otherwise, this would be a fairy tale."

"Avalon," called Melody, "Time to go."

Avalon jerked between the Doctor's arms, but instead of leaving him she only drew back enough to look up at the Doctor. "I'm sorry," she sniffed.

"Hey, you don't have to be sorry about anything," he whispered and cleared off a few of her tears from her cheeks. Her skin felt so dry he picked up a few flecks of dead skin. "You just have to worry about getting better. I'm going to get you to a real doctor, and they'll fix you right up."

"But you are my Doctor," she frowned slightly. "Why are you saying nonsense? Nobody can fix me, only you can."

"My Ava, you have no idea how badly I want to change all this," he cupped one side of her face. "I-I wish I could turn back time and keep you safe."

"You said 'my Ava'," she said, choosing to focus on the best part of his words. "My Ava, you are everything to me. You've owned these hearts for a long while now," Her bright smile could light up anyone's day. "That's what he said. The other Doctor. He told me that, just before he died. Is that true for you too?"

The Doctor thought this was hardly the place to discuss this matter but his hearts did leap a bit now that he finally knew what his ganger had told Avalon just before they escaped the ganger factory. And the ganger Doctor got it spot on too. "It is," he admitted, swallowing hard as if there was something lodged in his throat. "But look at where that's gotten you, where it's gotten everyone..." his eyes looked over her to the rest of the group that he'd solely ruined.

"It's given me a new feeling," Avalon pulled him down closer to her face. "And-and I wouldn't change it. It's my story. And do you know what my story deserves?"

The Doctor could think of a few things, starting with 'safe' and 'happiness'. "Peace," he settled for in the end.

"Nu-uh," Avalon's smile turned sly seconds before she pulled him one more time to close the gap between them. She kissed him like she'd been wanting to for a while - that she could remember perfectly - and held onto his arms because if she kept going, she didn't know if her legs would be able to stand it. But the Doctor was also holding her and with her surprise kiss, he wouldn't be letting go of her anytime soon. He finally got a taste of her lips that, despite being chapped, were so sweet. For a woman who had quite a loud mouth - which he was really fond of - she had such a way of kissing. He could do this for hours...

"Avalon?" called Melody, almost snarling, as she headed for the open window, "Quit your snogging and get over here, now! Time to go!"

Avalon's body jerked again, forcing her to pull away from the Doctor in the process. She blinked fast and once she found Melody by the window, she walked towards the woman like a robot following orders.

"A-Ava, don't," the Doctor tried to stop her but Avalon ignored him and stopped by Melody.

"Look at that, Berlin on the eve of war," Melody put an arm around Avalon's shoulders, "A whole world about to tear itself apart. Now that's my kind of town. Mum, Dad, Lena, don't follow us. Tree kid...don't you dare go all gigantic on me. And, yes, that is a warning for everybody!" She specifically made sure to look at everyone except the Doctor, something he easily picked up on.

"No warning for me, then?" he slowly walked back to the group, thinking of the perfect moment to snatch Avalon from her. He wasn't going to let her take his Ava off to some deranged city.

"Rather save my breath," Melody smirked, "The deed is done and so are you."

The Doctor only had seconds to wonder what she meant when he felt his legs weaken to the point he wobbled till he would fall. Rory and Amy ran to help him stand.

"Father, what's wrong!?" the Sapling, frightened, rushed to his side.

Lena once again glared at Melody, knowing that she was the culprit of whatever was happening to the Doctor. "What did you do to him, Melody!?"

"Oh, that wasn't me," Melody proudly presented Avalon to them.

Avalon seemed horrified to learn, to remember, that it was her fault. "Oh my God!" she brought her hands to her mouth. "It was me!"

"It was never going to be a gun for him," Melody smirked even wider seeing everyone's reactions. "Doctor, the man of peace who understands every kind of warfare, except, perhaps, the cruelest. You shouldn't have fallen into temptation."

The Doctor put a finger on his lips as he looked at Avalon, the ginger completely destroyed over what she'd done. He didn't need to ask to know that she hadn't even remembered what she was supposed to do. Somebody had left those instructions in her head and she would've done them no matter what.

"Doctor, I'm sorry," Avalon cried and tried running to them when Melody grabbed her arm and yanked them out the window.

"NO!" Everyone cried as the woman disappeared.

"Why would Mother do this?" the Sapling sniffed as he looked at his father who really struggled to stand on his own.

"It's not her fault, Sapling," the Doctor said.

"What did she do to you, exactly?" asked Rory so that they knew what to work with. Meanwhile, Lena bolted for the window to see if she could catch where Melody was taking her sister to.

"Avalon, she-she poisoned me," the Doctor answered with a struggle.

"Don't let Avalon kiss you in Berlin," Rory remembered Ryland's words that he'd gotten from a future version of the Doctor. "You literally left yourself a message about this!"

"I'm terrible at messages!" the Doctor snapped, but truth be told he'd kiss Avalon again if the chance was at hand. "And don't start! Avalon didn't know any better, her mother tricked her!"

"Her mother," Amy sighed, "This is completely awful!"

"Oh, her mother is brainwashed too!"

"That makes it better," Lena returned to them, "How do we help you, big brother? Do you have a plan?"

"The plan is not to die," the Doctor pointed at her, "I gotta save my Ava. Take this! The TARDIS can home in on it," he gave Amy his screwdriver, "Now, go, get after them!" he pushed Rory to the window.

"But what about you?" Lena helped Amy to get him into the TARDIS, "You said the smoke was deadly."

"The smoke's fine. The poison will kill me first," he tried to humor and actually expected for Avalon to remark on that, only she was nowhere around anymore, "Now, get after Avalon and River! Sapling, with me! Poison can't really affect trees!"

The Sapling grinned and nodded.

"But I don't understand," Amy shook her head, "Why would Avalon poison you?"

"She didn't mean to, she was brainwashed," the Doctor explained fast, "The head is a delicate thing and they've managed to get into it. Now, please, just go!" he entered the TARDIS and left them to do their task.

~ 0 ~

Down in front of the building stood Avalon and Melody and were being questioned by German officers. While Avalon seemed completely wrecked, Melody was quite confident in herself.

"What are you doing here?" the officer demanded to know.

"Well," Melody stepped forwards, "We were off to this gay Gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled, when I thought, "Gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish, I think I'll kill the Fuhrer." Who's with me?"

"Shoot them."

Melody quickly stepped back, in front of Avalon and took all the shots for the both of them. After the shots were finished, she looked up at the officers while hugging herself, "Tip for you all...never shoot a girl while she's regenerating," she opened her arms and sent out regeneration energy towards the soldiers and laughed as she knocked the entire group down, "Ah! Now, that hit the spot."

"Please...we have to go back," Avalon looked up at the window where she was sure the Doctor was still in, "I-I killed him, I have to go help...maybe there's cure..."

"Oh, it's Judas Poison, didn't they tell you?" Melody grabbed a couple machine guns and moved over to a motorcycle.

"I can't remember," Avalon glanced at her, "But you do, you knew I was going to do that, didn't you?"

Melody smirked and started the motorcycle, "C'mon, Avalon."

"But Melody-"

"Look, you killed the Doctor. You committed a crime, they're not gonna want you anymore. But I will," Melody gestured to the motorcycle, "I didn't want you to do any of this but if we didn't do what Kovarian said, she would've killed us. We had to do this. Plus, it's the Doctor's own fault. If he would've been there for us, we wouldn't have gotten here."

"But my friends..." Avalon looked up at the building.

"I am your friend, always have been. C'mon, don't you feel like shopping?"

Avalon was terrified but Melody did ring some facts. She'd done a terrible thing, how could anyone forgive her for that? "Sh-shopping?"

Melody grinned. "Yup! New body, means I've got to get new clothes. Shall we?"

Avalon looked up to see Amy, Lena, and Rory climbing down and grew even more frightened. She didn't want to face them, much less her sister. Melody was right, she'd committed a crime. A crime against the most wonderful man she'd ever met, no one would want her after that.

"Avalon, no!" Lena shouted after her sister as the ginger hurried and climbed on the back of the motorcycle Melody was in, "Avalon!" but it was too late, the women were gone. "We have to stop them, we have to stop them now!"

A soldier came through the gate behind the trio, riding a motorcycle. He stopped in front of them and Rory stepped forwards to explain, "Look, I know how this looks, but let me explain everything from the beginning," but the soldier started reaching for a weapon and so he panicked. "Heil!" he saluted.

"Heil!" the soldier saluted back to him.

Rory took advantage and punched him down. He climbed on the motorcycle and motioned for the other two women to do the same.

"You're all punchy today," Lena remarked as she took her place behind Amy.

"Well, my daughter and granddaughter are out in a city on the brink of war, hell of a reason to punch," Rory shrugged, meaning every last word he said. He'd always cared for Mels and Avalon, Avalon a bit more since he'd met her first. But now after knowing who they were in reality, his protection fired up and he knew he would do anything to keep them safe, even if that meant punching Hitler.

"Can you ride a motorbike?" Amy dreaded to ask as he started the motorcycle.

"I expect so. It's that sort of day," Rory shrugged once more and drove off.

~ 0 ~

Melody had found a nice restaurant filled with elegant people and decided to hijack them, both men and women. While she tried several pieces on and checked herself in the mirror, Avalon sat at a nearby table with her hands in her hair, desperately trying to remember and process what she'd done.

"I might take the age down a little, just gradually, to freak people out," Melody chuckled as she tried on a captain's hat and looked back to Avalon, "Whaddya think?"

"What have I done?" Avalon mumbled to herself, "I killed someone, and not just anyone, but the Doctor. I killed him," she looked up at Melody with teary eyes, "Why did you let me do that? What's he ever done to you?"

"I was taken from my parents, you forget that?" Melody raised an eyebrow, "I was thrown into a life of hell because they're all afraid of him and needed someone to do the job that none of them could do."

"And yet I'm the one who did it," Avalon stood up, "Your life may have been hell as a child, but when you came into Leadworth you became my friend and Amy's and Rory, even Lena's. Don't tell me your life was awful back then too."

"Of course it wasn't," Melody admitted quietly and looked around, "It was fun, the most fun I'd ever had."

"Then? Why did you do this to me?" Avalon gestured to herself, her voice breaking in the end. "They stole me and they did something to my head, brainwashed me, hurt me!" She frantically gestured to her injured arms. Melody did swallow hard at the sight of her nearly purple arms. "They did so m-many things to me...and you just let me kill the one person who could've saved us both!"

"I never had a choice, Avalon," Melody's voice softened, "You think I asked for all this? That I wanted my best friend to do what I was trained to do my entire life?"

"Then why did you let me do it!?" Avalon shouted, her tears strolling down her cheeks.

"Because it was either you did it or you died," Melody shrugged, seeing no other way to put it, "I didn't just find you on the entry road, you were handed over to me."

"By who?"

"Avalon, you seriously don't remember anything!?" Melody couldn't help but shout the question, quite exasperated that she really had to start from zero.

"I s-s-see bits and pieces..." Avalon screwed her eyes shut but once she did she saw the woman with the eye patch. "Mels...how could you do this to me?"

"Because I didn't want to see you die, alright? Anyone else, I wouldn't have cared," Melody snapped, honestly not even understanding herself why she had cared so much for her friend's safety, "But you, you are the only one that I can be myself without getting any scolds nor reproaches. It's either you did the task or they killed you on the spot."

"Well I would have rather died," Avalon exclaimed and leaned back on the table, sniffling, "You don't understand, Mels, you didn't make me kill just anyone...you made me kill my Fairy Tale Man. He was mine and he actually cared for me like no one else has. And now, he'll die and I'll lose my friends, my sister, my family. Cos you're right, they won't want me anymore. Who'd love a murderer?"

"It won't matter anymore, Avalon," Melody walked over to her and took her hands, "We'll have a fresh new start, I told you. We can travel the world and do things our way now. No following the rules and pretending to be who we're not."

"But with the Doctor I did do that," Avalon whispered, "He didn't care who I was."

"You killed the Doctor," came Amy's voice from behind them.

Avalon tensed and turned around, seeing Amy a couple steps away from them, "Amy, I know what I did, and there's nothing I can do anymore. She says my healing won't work."

"You killed the Doctor on the orders of the movement known as the Silence and Academy of the Question. You accept and know this to be true?"

Avalon raised an eyebrow, "I...don't understand what all that is. I can't remember, I swear. I killed him and I can't even remember who told me to do it."

'Amy' opened up her mouth and shot out a blue beam at Avalon, making the ginger cry out in pain, "No! No! Get off me!" she pleaded. It brought back the moments of her torture where they would carve her skin.

"That's not Amy!" Melody kicked the Teselecta robot of her mother back and managed to shut down the beam.

Avalon stumbled back onto the floor, "Oh, you don't say? I was just about to ask her when she got that new beam built into her mouth!"

"Oh your sense of humor is back," the Doctor's voice made her look to the side and see the alien standing beside the TARDIS, dressed in black tails and a top hat along with a cane.

"First of all, what the hell are you wearing?" Avalon raised an eyebrow, "You're dying and you stopped to change? You know what, I'm not even surprised."

The Sapling giggled beside his Father. "I think he looked nice! I need to find me a suit too!"

The Doctor spun around with a grin and made his way down the steps, "You should always waste time when you don't have any. Time is not the boss of you - Rule 408," he stopped in front of the robotic Amy, "Amelia Pond, judgment death machine. Why am I not surprised? Sonic cane!"

"Are you serious?" even Melody was stumped by the man.

"Never knowingly. Never knowingly be serious," the Doctor used his cane to scan the Teselecta, "Rule 27. You might want to write these down. Oh, it's a robot!" he concluded from the readings, "With 423 life signs inside. A robot worked by tiny people. Love it! But how do you all get in there, though? Bigger on the inside? No, basic miniaturization sustained by a compression field. Oh, watch what you eat, it'll get you every time. Amy, if you, Rory and Lena are OK, signal me," and then the Doctor got a signal from his cane, "Thanking you," he then gave out a cry of pain.

"Doctor!" Avalon ran to help him, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry!"

"It's alright, leg just went to sleep," he tried to humor her to no avail, "Just had a quick left leg power nap, I forgot I had one scheduled. Actually, better sit down, I think I heard the right one yawning," he sat on the dais of the steps with her help.

"I am so sorry for all this," Avalon stepped away from him. He probably wouldn't want her anywhere near him. "I can't remember, and I know that's no excuse but it's the truth. I don't remember why I did it, I just knew it after I did it and now I've killed you. I'm the woman who kills you." Flashes of the astronaut at Lake Silencio crossed her mind. It was her, wasn't it? She killed him at that lake. But now she'd rewritten time and killed him earlier. She felt sick and it wasn't because of her own injuries. "You...should have just left me that night...that you came back for me. You should have just left me there."

"No, hey!" the Doctor snapped a finger at her, snapping her out of those horrid thoughts. "I don't regret anything we've done in the past! The only thing I regret is not saving you sooner!"

"But I'm a murderer," Avalon whispered and glanced at the robot, the Teselecta. "And they know it. Everybody inside that thing...they know who I am. A murderer." She turned towards the robot, swallowing hard. "You should kill me."

"No, Avalon-"

"I accept my fault," she stepped towards the Teselecta, "I accept my punishment..."

With the confession, the Teselecta shot out a beam of light and trapped her in it. Avalon screamed in terrible pain, one that even made Melody flinch.

"Mother!" the Sapling growled and grew one of his left arms to smack the Teselecta, but the Doctor stopped him.

"NO! Don't you touch her! Do not harm her in any way," the Doctor shouted at the Teselecta and managed to stop the painful beam, leaving only a containment field around Avalon.

"Remember that Amy, Rory and Lena are still inside!"

But after that, the Teselecta turned on Melody and before the brunette tried making a run for it, she was trapped in a containment field as well. "I haven't done anything," Melody writhed in her field, far more awake than Avalon at the moment.

"According to records you are the women who kills the Doctor," was the response of the robot.

"Listen, I love my friend, but she is the one that kills him today, sweetie," Melody snapped, "So far, I've committed no crime."

"He's dying."

"Well, at least I'm not a time-travelling shape-shifting robot operated by miniaturized cross people," the Doctor called, eyeing the situation, perplexed to see Melody 'arrested' as well, "Which, I have got to admit, I didn't see coming. What do you want with them?" he pointed his cane to both women.

"She's Melody Pond, the woman who kills the Doctor. And she-" the robot pointed to Avalon, "-kills you today."

"How can I kill him if he's already dying!? Let me go!" Melody ordered.

"What is any of this to you?" the Doctor demanded from the robot, "Cos my friend there-" he pointed to Melody, "-has a point."

"Throughout history, many criminals have gone unpunished in their lifetimes. Time travel has... responsibilities."

The Doctor laughed, "What? You got yourselves time travel, so you decided to punish dead people?"

"We don't kill them. We extract them near the end of their established timelines."

"And then what?"

"Give them hell."

The Doctor's humor faded away immediately to be replaced by the darkness the Black Markets had come to know in the last month. "I'd ask you who you think you are but I think the answer is pretty obvious. So, who do you think I am? From everything I've heard, it sounds like you've got a record of mine being altered," he glanced at Avalon who was slowly coming around, "Gotta say, I'd love a peek."

"Our records office is sealed to the public. Foreknowledge is dangerous."

"Yes, well, I'll be dead in three minutes. There isn't much foreknowledge left."

"Sorry, can't do that..." There was a moment of silence before the Teselecta changed its mind. "Records available."

The Doctor wouldn't question the change so stood up with great struggle on his cane. The Sapling helped him walk on his wobbly feet. "Question. I'm dying... who wants me dead?"

"The Silence."

"What is the Silence? Why is it called that? What does it mean?"

"The Silence is not a species. It is a religious order, or movement. Their core belief is that silence will fall when the question is asked."

"What question?"

"The first question. The oldest question in the universe, hidden in plain sight."

"Yes, but what is the question?"

"Unknown."

"Well, fat lot of use that is, you big ginge! Call yourself a Records... Argh!" the Doctor fell to the floor with a cry of pain, "Kidneys are always the first to quit. I've had better, you know."

The containment field around Melody vanished and she dropped to the ground. She would've cheered if the field around Avalon hadn't turned into a flaming red that tortured her. Her shrill screams filled the room and perhaps the rest of the building. Everything was on fire. It felt like she was back with Kovarian and the Silence...oh. She remembered who gave her the order now.

The Doctor pulled himself across the floor with his hands and called out to the robot, "Amy! Rory! Lena! Can you hear me?"

"Yeah. What do we do? What do we do?" Amy's distraught voice came from the robot.

"Just stop them, please. She's your granddaughter, just stop them." Because the Doctor felt his life slowly slipping away. There was no more of his energy to use and the Sapling was still just a child. He was terrified. If he was to die, then he needed to know that Avalon would come out safe and sound.

"What did you say?" Melody stared at him with confusion from her spot.

The Doctor considered his next words while his gaze was stuck on Avalon. It was a huge no in the world of timelines telling Melody of her future, especially about something - someone - so important to her. But as the field stopped and Avalon dropped to the floor, completely unconscious, and the real Amy (or Rory or Lena) pleaded for his help through the Teselecta, he found there was no other choice. Besides, the universe owed him this.

"Please, now we have to save your parents. Don't run. Now, I know you're scared, but never run when you're scared. Rule 7. Please," he looked at Melody with urgency.

"Why did you say granddaughter?" Melody rose to her feet and frowned. "You said 'granddaughter', why?"

"Her mother, her real mother, is River Song, and she would kill you right now for what you've done..."

"Who is this River person?" Melody sighed with exasperation, "And why are you saying she's Avalon's mother? Emmalina is!"

"Imagine, imagine something for me please," the Doctor mustered his final coherent words. Not even the Sapling's strength could keep him up. He had to sit back down, preparing for his final moments. "Imagine that little Melody grows up and she goes to college and she has a baby of her own..." his eyes drifted to Avalon.

Melody slowly looked over to Avalon. Her face was covered by her hair. Melody inched closer to Avalon and touched her ginger locks. They felt like hers. "You're lying..."

"You're no fool, Melody, look into your past, look into the now. You've gotten along so good despite everyone else's opinions about you two, the Silence stole her and brought her back to you for some twisted mother-daughter job. You look me in the eye and tell me you're gonna let your parents, her grandparents and sister die," the Doctor ordered her and surprisingly Melody did as told. She looked straight at him and could feel his urgency radiating. "You know there's a special connection between you and Avalon. There always has been and this is why. Somewhere along your timeline you have a daughter, and you do love her. You've hurt her, now make it up by giving her, her grandparents and sister back. Rory can treat her after I...die. Do this for your daughter, Melody..."

Melody turned for Avalon, considering everything she'd heard. It made sense, all of it...but...to believe it...that was hard. She brushed a lock from Avalon's face, "Avalon..." she whispered, unable to bring herself to actually touch her now, "...Avalon, please? I didn't mean to hurt you. I was scared that they would hurt us both. Avalon, wake up."

"Go to her, Sapling," the Doctor urged the child with him. The Sapling was torn between staying with his father or going to his mother. They both needed him. "It's okay, Sapling," the Doctor offered him his best smile. "You go and help your Mother. That's what we wanted to do, remember? Help her."

The Sapling slowly nodded and walked over to Avalon and Melody. He knelt down beside his mother and gently shook her arm. "Mother, please wake up. Aunt Lena, aunt Amy and Uncle Rory need you. I need you too. And so does Father. I don't want my family to be ripped apart. I'm just a kid. I don't know what to do by myself."

Melody blinked at the tree child with a ripple of...sympathy? She knew exactly what he was talking about. She had no idea what to do with herself when she was a child. The Silence had given her full independence but she was a child. What was she supposed to do without her parents? She had to figure it out on her own sometimes. She wished somebody could have saved her way before any of this happened. She was just a kid...she shouldn't have had to live the way she had. And now she was the reason why another child would have to figure it out on their own. The Silence didn't do that, she did.

"I'm sorry," the words blurted from her mouth.

The Sapling met Melody's gaze with teary eyes. "Why would you hurt us? We worked so hard to find you, to save you, and you hurt us? That's not fair. You're taking my Mother, my Father, my family."

"No, no," Melody shook her head. "I didn't-I didn't mean to..."

The Sapling gently lowered himself to his Mother's side and brushed her hair with his hands. "Mother..." he sniffled.

~ 0 ~

Just as Lena, Amy and Rory were about to die, the TARDIS appeared around them, saving them in time. Lena quickly left her friends' side and ran for the console, "Big brother!" but she stopped when she saw Melody standing there and gasped at the sight of Avalon on the chair, trying to get out of it. "What did you do!?" she fiercely demanded from Melody as she ran to Avalon.

"i-it's fine, Lena," Avalon assured her. Her sight was coming back at least. "I...taught her to fly the TARDIS. Guess those lessons did pay off." She managed a weak smile while her sister hugged her.

"Where's the Doctor?" frowned Amy. "And the Sapling?"

"Then bring us back to the Doctor so he can help her," Lena ordered.

Melody looked around, refusing to tell her exactly what was going to happen to the Doctor in just a moment. Still, she used what Avalon had told her and successfully brought the TARDIS back to the restaurant.

Amy ran out the TARDIS first to find the Doctor lying on the stairs, nearly unconscious, with the Sapling at his side. Amy dropped on one of his sides, "You can't die now. I know you don't die now."

"Oh, Pond! You've got a schedule for everything," the Doctor managed to smile. From the corner of his eyes he could see Avalon coming out of the TARDIS with Lena's and Melody's help. She was safe now. Now it was okay to...to go.

"Doctor, what do we do? Come on. How do we help you?" Rory called to him as he and the others neared him.

"No, sorry, Rory. You can't. Nobody can," the Doctor sighed, "Ponds, listen to me, I need to talk to your daughter."

Everyone looked back at Melody who now looked completely uncomfortable. Slowly, she came towards the Doctor while the others backed away. She bent down beside him and whispered quietly to him, "You're not lying are you?" she glanced back to Avalon who was direcly staring at them with tears in her eyes, still filled with guilt.

"You see it now, don't you?" the Doctor questioned her, "Her eyes are yours, her hair is yours, her spirits are yours. But she doesn't know it yet, she thinks you're just a really close friend."

"I'm her mother...and I let her commit murder," Melody swallowed hard, if that didn't make her the worst mother of the year she didn't know what would.

"I need you to do something for me," the Doctor told her, "Find River Song and tell her something from me."

"Tell her what?" she raised an eyebrow and leaned down to listen to his quiet words. After she sat straight again, she had tears in her eyes, "Well, I don't know how..." but he gave her a pointed look that made her shift in place. She stood up and turned to the group, "Who's River Song?" she demanded.

Without a word, Amy moved to the Teselecta now host to no lives inside, "Are you still working because I'm still a relative? Access files on River Song."

"Records available."

"Show me her. Show me River Song."

Melody's tears strolled down her face as she now saw herself in the Teselecta. She glanced back at Avalon and shuddered a breath, "I lied."

Avalon shooed Rory off her, "What about?"

"There's no cure...but you have all the cures in your immune system...a well evolutionized system..."

Avalon's eyes half-widened. She raised her hands and turned them over. "And that would work? That would really work?"

"Might..." Melody shrugged with a small smile as she watched the ginger's hope increase by the seconds. "...but there could be consequences..."

"Don't care," Avalon snapped and hurried to the Doctor however she could on her wobbly feet. She came to sit beside him, ignoring the slight pain she felt on her knees. She motioned for the Sapling to move away. She would need a moment alone.

"What's she doing?" Lena looked at Melody suspiciously. One more trick from hers and this time Lena might just slap her.

Melody didn't answer and turned for Avalon, hoping her words would be true and...perhaps, do one good thing for her...daughter. She didn't want anyone to grow up the way that she did.

"I promise you after this you can chuck me into a black hole," Avalon whispered to the Doctor. "Or put me in jail. That's what I deserve. I'm so sorry for all this. Believe me, killing you is the last thing I wanted to do," she leaned down and stroked his hair, smiling slightly when he opened his eyes. He looked so weak and it was all her fault. He would never sit still, never lay down. He was always on the run, exploring different worlds, saving people here and there. He was the perfect man. A man that should not have to die.

"You remember those stories you wanted to see? The ones I wrote when I was younger? Well, they were all about you, stupid," Avalon's face blushed a warm pink as she explained what she thought she'd never say. "You're the Fairy Tale Man and you were always my hero, saving me...and do you remember when I couldn't sleep last year? You had to talk to me about my nightmare and you said I should dream up something that would ward the nightmares away? Well, you were the knight-in-shining-armor that fought off all my nightmares. You protected me. You've been quite the busy man," her smile spread as her blush deepened, "Now the princess - albeit an odd one - gets to save the prince."

"But Ava..." the Doctor could barely say those two words. Even with his bypass system, his lungs had expended his air.

"Be sure to rest for a bit before you go gallivanting through galaxies, alright?" Avalon leaned down, ignoring his weak attempts to stop her, and kissed him. Her fingers held onto the lapels of his jacket, as if she'd need it to keep him still. Her body glowed as the energy of her immunization began to transfer from her to the Doctor's. Avalon could feel her strength slipping away but she took comfort knowing it was going to the right place.

Towards the end, Avalon barely had the strength to raise her head. She weakly glanced at the others with a small smile. But her eyelids became heavy and before she knew it, she laid her head on the Doctor's chest and fell into darkness.

~ 0 ~

The next time Avalon opened her eyes, she was in a bright, white room. For a few seconds, she thought this was what the afterlife looked like...but then she heard a familiar voice.

"Avalon, sweetie, you're awake," Ryland was sitting right next to her bed - a hospital bed because she was in the hospital.

"Yeah, took you long enough," Gavin snorted but soon yelped when Lena elbowed him on the side. "I mean, yay, you're awake!"

Avalon scrunched her face and tried getting up, but everybody told her to stay put. "What's...what's going on?" she swallowed hard. Her body hurt. Everything was sore and moving the slightest caused a wave of pain to wash over her. "Owww."

"You're in the hospital, Avalon," Lena explained the bits most pertinent for the moment. "We brought you here after, um...Berlin."

It took only a few seconds for Avalon to remember what she did. "Oh my God! The Doctor!" she tried getting up again but Ryland pushed her down and kept a firm hold over her shoulders. "Daddy, stop! I have to go-"

"Avalon, it's okay! He's okay!" Ryland exclaimed over her voice. "The Doctor's just fine now." Avalon stopped struggling and studied Ryland's face for any indication that he was lying just so she wouldn't get up. Ryland knew her so well. "I'm telling you the truth. He's here, taking care of some things."

"So I...I didn't kill him?" Avalon's eyes flickered to Lena. "He-he survived?"

Lena smiled at her. "Yes. And as Daddy said, he's just taking care of some things. But you, Miss, you need to rest. A lot."

Avalon could care less about herself right now. She was just relieved that the Doctor had survived. "I...I didn't kill him."

"No, but you gave up something else," Gavin spoke up, sounding a bit irritated with her.

"What...?"

Ryland shot his son a look to keep quiet. What they had to tell her to needed to be done in a delicate manner. "Um, sweetie, there's something you need to know. You, uh...you saved the Doctor and nobody could be more proud of you for that, but...there were some consequences."

"Like?"

Ryland sighed. "Your immunity system has dropped, almost entirely. You lost the ability to heal people and your health has reverted to that of, well, an average human."

"Without those vaccinations all the babies usually get," Gavin chimed in, once again receiving the glares from his father and now his sister. "What? It's true."

Avalon was trying to understand what it meant, but it didn't take a lot of her thought process to figure it out. "So I-I don't have my abilities anymore? I don't have all the cures?"

"No," Ryland confirmed. "And the doctors here tried everything to activate it but there's nothing there anymore. We're going to have to be very careful for a long while now, until we can build up your immunity from scratch. But, even when that happens, it won't be like it used to be."

"I'll just be like Amy and Rory," Avalon nodded to herself. "Like every other human. I can get a cold now..."

"It's a bit more dangerous right now because you literally have no defense system."

"It's fine," Avalon swallowed hard and smiled. "It's my punishment for what I did."

"No, it's not," Lena frowned. "This was an accident but it is not because you did something wrong. Nothing is your fault. It's on Kovarian and the Silence." As soon as she spoke those two names, Avalon flinched. Lena regretted it deeply. "I'm sorry."

"No, no...it's okay..." Avalon bit her lower lip.

"How long were you with them, Avalon?" Lena decided to ask after a moment.

"...about...5 months..." Avalon scrunched her face when more memories started coming back to her. A lot of them included her screaming and begging for them to stop hurting her. "They-they kept..."

Lena reached for her sister's hand and held it tight. Avalon didn't have the strength, currently, to do the same. "It's okay, Avalon."

Avalon brought her free hand to her hair, pulling the strands as she continued to remember. Every pain she felt from the carvings, from the prodding, the needles. Her body was on fire. And she was so terrified.

"Avalon, it's okay," Ryland tried to take Avalon's hand off her hair but she kept pulling on it.

"I was so scared, Daddy! I was so scared!" The tears streamed down Avalon's face. "Everybody was prodding me like a-an experiment! They-they stabbed me with needles! They starved me! It was cold, it was hot! And I just wanted them to stop!" Her voice cracked in the end, but all in all she sounded like a terrified child when she burst into sobs. "But then I-I can't remember everything but...I know they did things to me, bad things. I don't want to go back there!"

"And you're not going to," Ryland promised her, almost crying himself because of her. He allowed Avalon to sit up so he could hug her tightly. "Nobody is ever going to touch you again. Not on our watch."

~ 0 ~

Melody stepped into a the admittedly nice building. Her eyes raked over the neat hallways and cheery decorations. It seemed to be very busy with employees - nuns - coming in and out of rooms. Patients, or inhabitants, were out making their daily lives. They looked happy. It seemed like a nice place to live...for now. She turned sideways, meeting her parents' gaze and the Doctor's. "This is it, then? This is where I have to stay?"

"It looks like fun," the Sapling made the comment to lift the spirits.

"It's your basic home for, well, anybody who needs it," the Doctor explained. "The Sisters here will help you make your way, whatever path you want to take."

Melody knew what he meant. Even though she knew about an important part of her future, the choice was still hers. "I am sorry," she said, even though it pained her to admit that she was wrong. "You have no idea what Kovarian is like...she doesn't take 'no' for an answer. She doesn't show mercy which is why I can't understand why she decided to wipe Avalon's memories. She had her for months and...she just erased it?"

"She did it for a reason," the Doctor muttered. Kovarian didn't do anything without a reason.

"But she didn't do a very good job because Avalon still remembers bits and pieces," Melody said, not understanding herself. Avalon didn't seem to have all her memories but she remembered what kind of torture strategies they used on her.

"That's her biology at work," the Doctor sighed. He had no doubt that within the coming months, Avalon would begin to remember more of her time with Kovarian.

"I wish I would've known," Melody looked at her parents. "I didn't know. But after spending years with Kovarian breathing over my shoulder, I learned the best way to survive is to just follow her orders."

"You're forgiven for everything," the Doctor assured her. He could see the guilt in her eyes from a mile away.

"Absolutely," Amy moved towards Melody and took her into a big hug. It soon brought Rory over as well. "None of it was your fault," Amy promised.

"But I just...I don't understand," Melody pulled away. "How could Avalon be my daughter? I don't...I don't even want kids. They're kind of annoying." The others chuckled, but she wanted to point out that she was being very serious.

"Well, that's up to you," the Doctor said, but Melody folded her arms over her chest and settled a sharp look on him.

"Mhm. You snogged my daughter and you expect me to believe that you don't care one tiny bit whether or not I have her?"

The Doctor's face flushed at the reminder. It made Melody smirk, much like Avalon would. "Well, I-I didn't mean to..." Truth be told, he would hardly call what happened between him and Avalon a kiss. There'd been two kisses and while the first one was a more of a kiss but it'd only happened because Avalon was brainwashed into doing it, not because she wanted to. And the second one? Well, he'd been dying. He could hardly remember it. It hurt his hearts realizing it.

"Oh forget it," Melody sighed deeply when she saw the Doctor getting lost in his thoughts. "I'll stay here for a bit, then, if that's what it takes to keep her safe. Whether she's my daughter or my friend, I do care about Avalon. I had to do what I had to do to keep us both alive."

"I believe you," the Doctor assured her.

"And...the Sapling...I didn't mean to take your family," Melody looked at the tree child. He no longer held contempt for her, but she wanted to make sure that he understood her. "I know exactly what that feels like and I never want to do that to a child."

The Sapling nodded and offered her a smile. "I believe you. You helped save my parents. Plus, your my grandmother."

"Oooh, that hurts," Melody put a hand over her chest. "That word hurts."

"Imagine great-grandmother," Amy muttered and shared a small laugh with her.

"So, Doctor, how long do I have to wait until I can see Avalon and apologize to her too?" Melody looked at the Time Lord anxiously. She didn't like the idea of being far away when Avalon was recovering from a situation she helped create.

"For a while," the Doctor answered, knowing that it wasn't the answer she wanted to hear. "The Silence and Kovarian are still out there and until we capture them, you shouldn't see Avalon. Plus, you might have your own Avalon to deal with further along your timeline."

Melody smirked. "Oh boy."

"But don't worry, she'll know that it wasn't your fault either."

"And what about the fact that I'm her Mother? Will she know that too?"

"Do you want her to know?" the Doctor challenged. The choice was entirely upon Melody because as far as he knew, it didn't matter from this point on if Avalon learned who her mother was.

Melody pursed her lips together. "I...don't know. I mean, if she wants to know then...I suppose I have no right hiding that from her. I owe her that much. So, if she asks, if she wants to know, you tell her. But you make sure-" she pointed a finger at him, "-that she knows that I do love her. She's been my friend for so many years, she shouldn't doubt that."

"Okay," the Doctor nodded. "Well, I guess it's time for us to go."

Melody faced her parents with a sad smile. "I'll see you around, then?"

"Definitely," Amy promised. "Stay out of trouble, Miss."

"Seriously," Rory warned her. "Out of it. Don't even think of getting into it!"

Melody laughed. "I'll try my best. But you know me...it calls me." She walked over to give them both a hug. While they said goodbye, the Doctor took the Sapling with him back to the TARDIS. The Ponds would need a moment to say goodbye to their daughter.

"Are we going to see Mother now!?" the Sapling hopped excitedly up to the console.

"Yeah," the Doctor went straight to the console. He shouldn't have done it but he downloaded his biography from the Teselecta archive. Now he knew exactly what he was in for, and it was not pretty. But so long as Avalon was kept out of it, he didn't care what was coming for him.

~ 0 ~

When Ryland emerged from from Avalon's hospital room, he spotted the Doctor, Amy, Rory and the Sapling coming down the hallway. He immediately searched for the woman responsible for all this mess, but she wasn't there. And she wouldn't be coming back soon, that much he could tell from Amy's and Rory's distraught faces. The Sapling didn't waste time and scurried down the hallway, straight into Avalon's room before anyone could tell him anything. He wanted to see his Mother so badly!

"Where is she?" Ryland still asked the group when they joined him. He didn't have to say her name for them to know he meant River.

"Somewhere, making her own way now," the Doctor said, glancing over his shoulder to the Ponds. It hurt them badly to let their daughter go, but it was the best thing they could for Melody and Avalon.

"Is she alright?"

"Yes, in what fits."

Ryland nodded then sighed. "Avalon's woken up, though she's been in and out of consciousness. The Silence, Kovarian - they did a number on my niece." His heart broke when he first saw Avalon's arms, when she sobbed about how terrified she'd been. "I want them to pay. All of them."

The sentiment was shared amongst the others, but they knew that they literally had to wait.

"It's a tricky thing, Ryland," the Doctor began, looking unsure himself...because he was. "Kovarian has created the perfect game here. We can't strike because of Time. We make one wrong move and both Melody and Avalon go 'poof!'." He did the hand gesture for effect, but he was sure the word was more than enough to make a point. "And that's not what we want, right?"

Ryland sighed with exasperation. "Of course not! But we can't just let this stand!"

"Oh, we won't," the Doctor said, his voice dropping low. "You better believe that I'm going after them."

Ryland wasn't one to doubt him, so he nodded but there was still heavy concern in his eyes when he glanced back at Avalon's room. "She's really hurt. I trust this hospital but I'm also scared. She lost her entire immune system. She has zero defenses."

"But we can fix that," Rory finally spoke up but then he realized that Avalon's biology was a bit out of his element so he looked at the Doctor just to be sure. "Right?"

"Yes, of course we can," the Doctor nodded. "But I'm going to need to take Avalon away for a while," he told Ryland, knowing that the man wouldn't be so happy about that detail.

And true to that, Ryland's mouth opened to argue. "But we just got her back!"

"And like you said, she doesn't have any defenses. Earth is filled with bacteria and germs that she cannot fight right now. The TARDIS is a sterile place where I can monitor her at all times, where we-" the Doctor gestured behind him to Amy and Rory, "-will look after her and raise her health. Physically and mentally."

Because of course there was no way in hell the Ponds would let go of the only piece they had of their daughter. Both Amy and Rory nodded affirmatively. Where Avalon went, they went. Period.

"I am a nurse," Rory reminded Ryland. "I know exactly what humans need. I'll help take good care of Avalon."

"I don't suppose I have a choice," Ryland mumbled, but he did realize that the TARDIS was the safest spot for Avalon at the moment. "But will you bring her when she gets better?"

"You have my word," the Doctor promised, raising his hand in the air. It would be some time before Avalon could leave sterile rooms, but he would bring her back to Earth the moment she could withstand it.

Ryland nodded. "Thank you. And...thank you for bringing her back. All of you." The Doctor gave a slight nod of his head but it was easy to see that he didn't feel like he actually did anything. He hadn't found Avalon, she had found him. "I trust you, Doctor. And you," Ryland gave Amy and Rory a half smile. "I trust that you'll keep her safe." He gave Avalon's door another glance before motioning them to go inside. "See if she's awake. I assume there's plenty to talk about."

That was an understatement. Still, the three of them took in some deep, brave breaths and headed for Avalon's room.

Avalon was asleep but with the Sapling's movements and whispers, she would end up waking up. Seeing the tree child did bring out a smile, which was all anyone wanted right now.

"Hey, don't try to move so much," Rory took the nearest seat beside her bed. "You gotta save your strength."

"Ugh, now you're sounding like my Dad," Avalon licked her chapped lips then made a face after it stung her. "I really need chapstick. Actually...I really need and want a bath."

"Lavender scented bath bombs await in the TARDIS," Amy promised her. She'd taken the opposite side and grabbed Avalon's hand first chance she got. There was a different feeling Amy got now that she knew who Avalon was. Maybe it was the part of her motherhood that she didn't get to live out with Melody, or maybe it was just the grandmother part of her too. She wanted to protect Avalon and be there for whatever Avalon might need.

"Mm, sounds nice," Avalon drew in a breath but it stung as well. "My entire body hurts. Even breathing hurts - how pathetic is that?"

"Don't say that," the Doctor spoke up for the first time, and it was only because that had come out automatically. He didn't want Avalon feeling bad for anything that happened. "You don't say anything like that, got it? Because you have no reason to put yourself down."

Avalon's gaze lowered the moment his eyes landed on her. She couldn't fathom looking at anyone right now. She was guilty. And embarrassed. "I'm sorry guys," her apology came in the form of a frail whisper. "I couldn't save Melody and I let them brainwash me."

"Avalon, this wasn't your fault," Rory reached for Avalon's other hand.

The Sapling squirmed his way around Amy's chair, going under Amy's arm that was holding Avalon's hand, until he was right next to his Mother. "Mother, you shouldn't cry. It was the bad people's fault."

"But neither of you have Melody because I couldn't hold onto her," Avalon raised her head, showing new tears in her eyes. "I had her in my arms and Kovarian ripped her away from me. I took care of her for a week and then I never saw her again. I'm so sorry."

Amy couldn't help the tears in her own eyes. "Avalon, the same thing happened to me and I'm her mother. But Kovarian was too smart. But hey, she's okay now and she's going to make her own way. This is where River Song starts and we'll be seeing her around."

"I didn't get to apologize to her," Avalon glanced at the Doctor. "Could I see her, please? I-I really want to talk to her. River's saved me so many times and the one chance I had to save her...I didn't do it."

"She doesn't blame you - actually, she's mad as hell with Kovarian," he gave her a soft smile. "You're so alike, actually."

Avalon would've smiled but instead of seeing him, she saw his dying body in Berlin. The tears doubled and whether she wanted to or not, she sniffled all over again. "Doctor, I'm so sorry! I nearly killed you! I-I didn't know I was going to do it but I'm so sorry!"

The Doctor forgot all about his own guilt for the moment as he moved up to her bed to hug her. Amy and Rory let go of Avalon's hands and the moment they did, Avalon clung to the Doctor's arms. Even the Sapling had leaned away, more on his great-grandmother's side, to give his parents some space.

"You're good, Avalon. You are so good, don't ever think that I will reproach you for anything," the Doctor kissed Avalon's messy hair.

"But I-I poisoned you-"

"-and you saved my life," the Doctor pulled away to give her a small smile. He poked her forehead, something that brought out a teary-eyed smile from her. "And now you lost your ability to heal people."

"I don't care," she said, sounding pretty damn certain about it too. "I saved you. I would do it again if I had to."

"I recommend you don't," the Doctor's gaze turned sharp just at the idea of her having to do it again. Next time, she might just use up all of her regenerations, however many she had. "I'm the Fairy Tale Man. I will do the saving around here. And I'm sorry I didn't do that before Kovarian hurt you so much."

Avalon completely let go of him to see her bruised and stitched arms. She screwed her eyes shut for a moment to push away any of those memories. "I can't remember everything...but I know that they hurt me. I can see some of it. I hate her so much."

"We're going to find her," Amy promised, her teeth gritting together as the raw fury crept over her. It only faltered when she saw the brief terror in Avalon's eyes. "But she's not going to hurt you again. She's going to have go through all of us first." Everyone nodded, including the Sapling.

"You stay far away, Mister," Avalon wagged a finger at the Sapling, relishing in his childlike giggle. She missed him. "I may be a terrible mother but I will still do my best to keep you away from danger." At the mention of 'mother', the others exchanged nervous glances. Avalon noticed it fairly quick and arched an eyebrow at them. "What is it?"

"Uum..." the Doctor would be brave and take the lead in the conversation. "You mentioned that your memory's a bit foggy?" Avalon nodded. "Do you remember if Kovarian mentioned anything about, I don't know, your parents?"

Avalon crinkled her nose. "No. Why would she?"

"Just curious," the Doctor checked for Amy's and Rory's reactions. He'd continue if they wanted him to...and they seemed to want him to. Oh boy.

"What's going on?" Avalon saw their discreet glances with each other. "What more is going on?"

"Avalon...we, uh...blimey, there's not an easy way to say it but...we know about your real Mother and..." the Doctor watched her face go pale - paler than what it already was - then was quick to go for anger.

"I told you I didn't want to know!" she practically snarled.

"But things are different now," Amy chimed in for the sake of her daughter.

"Yeah, I'm a murderer!" Avalon shot the Doctor a look. "I nearly murdered you and you want talk about my...my Mother?"

"Actually, her and-"

"No!" she yelled. "You know what? I do remember Kovarian mentioning something about that. My mother abandoned me because she didn't care about me."

"That's not true," Amy scowled, but in doing so it made Avalon even more angry.

"How would you know? Nobody abandoned you!"

"Because I know who she is and she didn't leave you behind!"

"Amy," Rory's voice was warning her to watch what she would say. Amy was distraught over their situation, more so by the fact Avalon would still believe in the lie that River abandoned her. But there was a reality that none of them were facing yet, one that nobody had asked out loud. River didn't abandon Avalon, okay, but then why did she give Avalon away?

Avalon squeezed her eyes shut. She tried to remember moments with Kovarian but her mind was all jumbled up and everything was fuzzy. She couldn't remember even if she truly wanted to. "My life is in pieces right now and I don't want it to be broken into smaller fragments. Please leave it alone. Please." Her begging reminded her a lot of when she had to beg for people not to slice her skin, or when she had Melody taken away from her, or pretty much every time she was in pain. New tears rolled down her cheeks and even if she couldn't move a lot, she put her best efforts to scoot towards the Doctor, trying to reach for his closest hand. "Please just forget about it. I don't want to know. I-I don't want to know!"

The Doctor wouldn't further victimize her like Kovarian had. He gave her a reassuring nod that he would not say anything. It brought her such relief that she thanked him over and over again, like he'd just saved her life. He checked Amy's and Rory's expressions and he wasn't surprised to find them grim. Their granddaughter hated their daughter because of a lie.

The Silence had ruined them from top to bottom and he let it happen.

#ocappreciation #doctor who #11th doctor imagines #dw imagine #doctor who fics #dw fics #doctor who imagines #11th doctor fics #oc: Avalon Reynolds #oc: Lena Reynolds #fic: falling in temptation

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