#the only thing where I agree with the majority (I think it‘s the majority?? at least online) is that dean is an asshole

[alma-artts]

My roman empire is how the majority of people misjudge every single gilmore girls character it angers me so much

#ofc lorelai had reasons to leave her parents were HORRIBLE to her #yes they‘re complex human beings who are good AND bad but that doesn‘t mean that they were in any way good parents #Rory is not a horrible person #she‘s just realistically making mistakes #SHE‘S A FLAWED PERSON #SURPRISE #ofc it‘s super sad for Paris that she always considered Rory a best friend and Rory didn’t feel the same #but it‘s not like Paris was an amazing friend are you kidding me??? #first she bullies her #then she sees her as both a friend and a competition #she demands her time to help her study #she kicks her out of their appartment #and then is surprised when she moves in with Logan who she doesn‘t like?? #and don‘t get me wrong I love Paris #she‘s very intense and even if she can‘t help it it doesn‘t mean that Rory is the person who can put up with it all the time #Rory was the perfect kind of person to be a friend to Paris #but idk if Paris was the best kind of person to be a friend to Rory AND THAT‘S OKAY #ok sorry Paris rant over #the only thing where I agree with the majority (I think it‘s the majority?? at least online) is that dean is an asshole #just again: lorelai had REALLY good reasons to not want to engage with her parents #ok this is too long bye #gilmore girls #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #emily gilmore #the gilmore girls #paris geller #fandom criticism

[footballxixstars]

I think some german readers are happy now since you‘re okay with writing about Florian Wirtz :)

He posted a Story on Instagram where he‘s on vacation at the moment, so maybe one where it‘s your first trip together and he randomly says thank you for supporting/encourage him during the last months because of his bad injury

Take your time with writing if you have to do some researching first! :) I think he‘s a very calm and chill guy

This Is A Thank You • Florian Wirtz

The season has been a tough one for both you and Florian. Florian had unfortunately got an injury in March, a cruciate ligament rupture, meaning that he has been out ever since and to make it even worse it was his first major injury. He’s had little injuries before that have kept him out for a game or two at a time however this was the first time he was going to be out for a prolonged period of time and even miss half of a season. The fact he was missing so many games was making Florian feel really uneasy because so much could happen during that time and he can’t do anything to alter what happens. The person who starts the games because Florian is out may do amazing and then Florian no longer has a position within the team or when he comes back he may no longer be as good as before his injury. There are so many things that can happen during this time so obviously, Florian is going to be uneasy. He has no control right now.

During that time you were his absolute rock. Whenever he was down you’d always be the first to talk to him and find various ways to cheer him up and distract him from football and his injury even if it was for an hour or so. Anything was better than him pouting about his injury for months upon months. It felt like you were the only person that he would listen to and even talk to about his struggles so obviously you were his rock during this whole ordeal and you never minded that. What made your support even better for him was that the two of you had only begun dating in September of the previous year, so 6 months before the injury occurred and you were still there for him. You hadn’t once walked away when he was really upset and doubting whether he would be able to come back or when he would sometimes get angry at you for no reason just because he was scared. You were always there for him.

From that moment he knew that he had to do something huge to thank you for all of the support and encouragement that you gave him. From that moment he knew that you deserved the world and so much more that he couldn’t give you but he was going to try. Whatever his brain could come up with he was going to do. You deserve to be spoiled and that is exactly what he is planning to do.

“How about going on a trip?” Florian asked you one day. At first you were confused because you thought that he couldn’t travel far because of his physiotherapy and all that but when he started to explain to you that he could do it online and as long as somebody was around to watch him and help him if need be then his trainer said it was fine. After some consideration and verification from his trainer, not that you didn’t believe Florian but it was nice to get verification from a professional, and as soon as you did you agreed to go on this trip with him. Why not? It’ll be a lot of fun to go away with him for a couple of days and just relax, especially after the past few months which have been a really tough time for the both of you.

After that conversation nothing else really got said about the trip except from Florian telling you dates so you could be ready and get the days off from work. You trust Florian to pick a good place and a place where you are both able to relax whilst he can carry on with his physiotherapy too. A place where there is nice food, both restaurants and things you are able to cook yourself, a place that has nice scenery around, that you won’t get bored of and can just enjoy, a place with nice weather, to relax and just take in the sun. There wasn’t a lot that you wanted and you trust Florian enough to pick a decent place for the both of you. Would that be a mistake? You are yet to see.

Slowly the day crept up and before you knew it you were on a plane flying to some remote destination that Florian had picked out. You were excited about it as it was your first trip away together and it was just the two of you too. It would be nice for Florian to be able to take his mind and not focus on the injury which was getting better day by day and it would just be nice for you to get out of the country for a little bit. Whether it is only a couple of days or a couple of weeks, any time will be nice.

And it was nice. He had rented this nice place for the both of you where there was a private pool and only a short walk away from the local market and shops and beach too so it was localised and easily accessible for Florian to walk even with his injury. Along with that the small place that he had rented had its own private gym too so Florian could do his workouts without being bombarded by people or feeling rushed too. It was a good pick. A very good pick from Florian and you can see yourself allowing Florian to pick the place of your next holiday together.

“Can we go out for a meal tonight at one of the local restaurants?” Florian asked you and he sounded pretty nervous about it too.

“Of course,” You stated, quite excited by that idea. It would be nice to go out and around the local area and eat some of their cuisine to try it out. It’s always fun to try new foods and you were excited to get out of the villa for a couple of hours with him. It would just be different than sitting inside and cooking for yourself or just heating up pre-made meals for Florian. A nice little date for both of you and you did get dressed up for it. Not a lot but just enough to know the difference between your usual wear and the fact it’s a special occasion so a little dressed up yet still comfortable. It was going to be nice.

Florian had picked out a lovely local restaurant, just a couple minutes' walk from the villa which was perfect considering Florian’s injury. The scenery around the place was absolutely stunning. It was the kind of scenery that you would never find in a touristy location or the hustle and bustle of a city. (Not that the scenery is bad in major cities or touristy locations, it’s just different and a change). It wasn’t modernised like the majority of the world is nowadays as it was clearly still in the original building and maybe a few structural bits were added to make sure that it meets the safety standards but it was still the original building which was built hundreds of years ago. Along with that, the inside wasn’t modernised either it matched the outside aesthetic wonderfully. It was a really lovely place and you’re glad that Florian managed to take you here for a mini date. Hopefully the food is as nice as the place looks and if the busyness of the place is anything to go by then you’re certain the food will hold up to your expectations.

The atmosphere around the place was calming just what you want it to be like when you go out for a romantic meal with your other half. A lot of other romantic restaurants are hectic so this one being all calm was nice. Even though it was quite busy, thankfully Florian put in a reservation, it still had a calming atmosphere and it wasn’t loud so you were able to talk to Florian without having to raise your voice at all. If there's one thing that you’ve noticed since dating Florian it’s that he’s good at picking locations for dates.

The two of you constantly talked and laughed together only stopping when the waiter came over but as soon they left the conversation sparked up again. It was always easy to talk to Florian about literally anything. If or when there were silences between you it was never awkward it was comfortable and that was something that you loved about hanging out with Florian since the beginning. The silence would never last very long either since you or Florian would come up with something else utterly random to have a conversation about and even if the conversation topic was one neither of you really understood or were into you still managed to converse in conversation with each other because it was highly likely the other person was into it and you both want to learn about each other's interests and hobbies. Even after dating for a few months there were still many hobbies and interests to learn about each other so those are easy conversations to start up. This time it was Florian’s turn to start one up. Not that you take turns.

“I just want to thank you for everything that you’ve done for me during my injury,” He started off by saying to you. As he was speaking he was trying to think of the perfect words then but he quickly realised there were no perfect words for it. There were no words to describe how thankful he was for your support and encouragement through the tough months. The holiday was one way to thank you but he knows that you deserve more than that and he will give you more than that.

“I love you and this injury has just made me realise how much and how lucky I am to actually have you by my side,” Florian continued but this time staring at you directly in your eyes and not anywhere else letting you know how truthful he was being. To let you know how much he really does appreciate you and everything that you have done for him, especially during this difficult period. He just knows that without you by his side it would’ve been so much worse to deal with so he had to thank you. This was only the beginning of the thank you, he’d thank you more a bit later and then again properly when he is fully healed.

“I love you too,” You whispered back leaning over the table, so Florian didn’t have to strain his injury anymore, just to place a kiss against his lips. There was no need to thank you for anything because you were doing what you should do for the person you love when they’re hurting and injured. It’s just the basics but it did feel nice to feel appreciated by him. You were going to take it all in and enjoy your first holiday with Florian. Your first holiday alone together. Hopefully the first of many.

———

MASTERLIST | MORE WIRTZ

#florian wirtz #florian wirtz one shots #florian wirtz one shot #florian wirtz oneshots #florian wirtz oneshot #florian wirtz imagines #florian wirtz imagine #football one shots #football one shot #football oneshots #football oneshot #football imagines #football imagine #footballer one shots #footballer one shot #footballer oneshots #footballer oneshot #footballer imagines #footballer imagine

[lunyzare]

The name itself is power –  part one

„As he valued only power and possessed so much of it, Madara therefore disliked to waste it on unworthy causes or unchallenging opponents, claiming disgust when he was forced to.“ (Source)

When we first see Madara in chapter 559, we have very little knowledge on who he is: he is an enigma, unknown, a blank page. Yet he is feared. Interestingly he is a blank page not JUST for the reader/viewer but also for the vast majority of the characters, as they only know Madara from stories and legends (Onoki and Obito at this point in the story are – if I‘m not mistaken – the only ones who have actually met Madara when he was alive and have real stories to tell).

Few chapters later and we have the quote „the name itself is power“, which again clearly demonstrates how the characters within the story see Madara – powerful, dangerous, uncontrollable, vicious – almost a definition of evil. They are afraid of him, afraid of the mere possibility he could be alive (or revived) and as Tsunade states, this is what drew them into war.

As such the word power is automatically part of of Madara‘s character profile, as a matter of fact, it (almost) seems to be his entire characterization. Madara himself is evaluating other characters by how much power they have (or lack); when he first encounters five kage, he comments on their defense and offense. Even before he made comments on Naruto‘s rasengan barrage (in both of these examples he actually gave compliments to these characters for their abbilities). Later in the fight between him and kages we see Madara doing the same to Tsunade, however this time, he is not impressed at all, quite the opposite, he freely states his disgust on weakness and especially weak Senju. And for the rest of the manga we see the same pattern – we see him fight tailed beasts, Naruto, Sasuke, 8th gates Gai and many other characters, some of them Madara praised, others he criticized.

The point I‘m trying to make is quite obvious actually: Madara values power greatly, just as he values battle. But while I agree he most certainly values power, I firmly believe he values it because of something else. He doesn’t value power for it’s own sake. In these analyses I would like to concentrate on how Madara views power throughout his life, starting with his childhood. 

Therefore in this particular post I would like to concentrate mainly on Hashirama‘s flashback, as it gives us at least a glimpse into Madara‘s psyche prior to him leaving the village.

Chapter 621 is where Hashirama‘s flashback begins. It‘s interesting to note, that the flashback begins with battle between Madara and Hashirama and ends with Hashirama‘s memory of their first meeting. Why is this interesting? It is interesting, because the chapter begins with an end → at this time in the manga we already know a little about the fight between Hashirama and Madara, we‘ve seen the statues at the Valley of the End, Obito talked about their fight, Madara himself mentoined it etc.

The chapter also starts with Madara we already know from 4th great ninja war – confident, dangerous, vicious, seemingly unstopable, godlike and arrogant even – and ends with Madara as a child and the very first thing we see is Madara...not able to do something, in this case to skip a stone across the river.

Of course, he was a kid and it‘s logical to think that he had to learn and train to be as powerful as he is at war arc, but this gives us a new perspective on his character. So far, we saw him throwing meteors on the heads of his enemies, we saw the perfect susanoo, we saw his rinnegan and how effortlessly he has beaten the five kages AND we also saw other characters (including Naruto himself) call him a god, run away from him with fear in their eyes or stare at him in disbelief and wonder outloud „is this THE Madara?”. Up untill now he seemed almost untouchable for mere mortals (both in a battle and as a person), but that has changed.

Even as a kid, Madara was already strong and very dangerous. As was stated by Butsuma Senju, he was able to defeat adult Senju on battlefield. But Madara deep down didn’t seem to think of himself as good enough (as shown, when he and Hashirama talked on the cliff), since he was unable to protect his brothers. His last brother was Izuna and Madara swore he would protect him no matter what. And with Hashirama coming up with the idea of village, Madara once again confirmed that if this village was ever to be created, he would be able to “watch over” and protect Izuna.

What does this tell us about Madara’s relationship with power? He desired power, yes, but he desired it to protect what was dearest to him – his brother Izuna. He desired it, because he felt inadequate, uncertain and scared. Also, for a child born in a warring states period, to be powerful was quite literally the only way to survive.

Both Hashirama and Madara shared a dream of better world, where children wouldn’t have to participate at wars. They both wanted to change the world. And here we see the second aspect of child-Madara’s perspective on power: only if they are powerful enough, others will listen to them and things might change. I believe this understanding of power stayed with Madara through his adulthood and elderly years as at 4th great ninja war he stated that “Power is not a will,” but that it is a “phenomenom that makes things happen”.

When their families discovered that they are unknowingly meeting with an enemy, both had the same plan – to follow and if necessary kill the other boy. But Madara and Hashirama chose to warn each other using stones for skipping. And when the lives of their younger siblings were endangered, they used the skipping stones to save them. Madara chose to throw away his dream of peace (and with it his friendship), because he saw no way of it ever becoming reality. This to me shows that Madara uses his power only if he believes it will actually be efficient. He couldn’t see any way his and Hashirama’s dream of peace could come true, so he saw it as pointless to try, despite the fact he himself dreamt of such peace.

This again shows that power is a phenomenom to Madara, a phenomenom that “makes things happen”, but it is not always enough. Hatred was too deeply rooted between the clans and peace was out of question. Ironically, his decision gave him a new power – his sharingan. He gained something because he sacrificed something else. If it reminds you of something, than you are correct: Madara said almost the exact same words in 4th great ninja war to Tobirama.

I would like to end the first part here, because this is already too long. In the second part I would like concentrate on the treaty between the clans, Madara’s decision to leave the village and perhaps also 4th great ninja war.

#naruto #madara #madara uchiha #power is not a will #power #chapter 621 #chapter 622 #chapter 623 #chapter 624 #uchiha #uchiha clan #hashirama #hashirama senju #analysis

[thattimdrakeguy]

What do you think about Tim's romantic relationships? I think he is always carrying and loving and probably doesn't make the difference between platonic and romantic love. He probably feels obligated to date this girls or thinks he loves them back. His parents weren't the best example so that didn't help him either.

I’m so freaking sorry for taking so long. I got caught up in other things yesterday so I couldn’t respond immediately as I can (even it seems like I take a while that’s normally me figuring out what to say or I was just busy and only saw it later, and my power went out for over half a day. So I’m really sorry for that even if that last part was out of my control.

But! I think that’s a pretty valid take to have honestly, because it’s actually an interpretation you can naturally get just from reading Robin.

Tim never seemed particularly romantically or romantically interested in Steph. In-fact, he kind of disliked her, even though he cared about her safety given he knew her. The boy could even be straight up passive aggressive because she put him in a sour move.

Which is one of the reasons I don’t even like the ship to begin with. It’s super forced, and putting him with a girl that sexually harassed him and kissed him in a way that could potentially be counted as sexual assault given it’s clearly sexually motivated despite what she says, is incredibly wrong to me given if you switched the genders people would flip. Like I know Tim kissed her first, but that was as a thank you, not sexually motivated. Just a dumb dated cliche. So that wouldn't be classified as actual sexual assault (according to a judge it would have to be sexually motivated. Personally I don't agree with that unless it's a culture thing, and I think thank you kisses are gross unless they ask for permission and probably shouldn't be a cliche because of that. But I'm me, not the law.). it isn't even one time Steph gives Tim a kiss against his will for her own sexual attraction to him.

Although, that’s against the point, I’m just annoyed to see people give people that don’t like the ship be given crap, when to me, it’s like-- it’s kind-of obvious why people wouldn’t like it. Even more than simple ship tastes. However I’m digressing again.

When the issue came where he acted like he was into her romantically, he was confused about which way he liked her to begin with.

He didn’t feel particularly happy when Ari tried to get her and Tim to mutually break-up together, which would allow Tim to date Steph guilt-free, as well as the context that Tim was gonna break up with Ari anyway. Which implies he still loved her even when he thought he wanted Steph. though break ups are always hard in fairness. 

(I still find it pretty gross that Dixon actually rushed the Tim and Steph stuff so fast it’s half-way like he freaking forgot about Ariana and Tim were still dating. Like Tim would just leave her like that right after Ari’s parents thought Tim and Ari were doing dirty stuff and sent her away-- when Tim was avoiding that. So much contradicts Tim's character putting him and Steph together. It’s so badly written. Tim loves Ari, Tim's against cheating, Tim doesn’t like Steph and doesn’t like her flirting, yet-- suddenly Tim does and more or less cheats? Ech. He’s not supposed to look like scum for it going off the way it’s written. Feels like it’s not the intention because Tim wouldn’t do that, like they knew he wouldn’t and stuff, or Dixon was blind to what he was actually writing, but yet-- it happened.)

Plus, Tim actually naturally calls himself Steph’s friend rather than boyfriend. Like subconsciously that’s how he actually feels.

So it’s a very easy interpretation to make, and pretty on point. I imagine it wasn’t the intent from Dixon, but it’s so very easy. He doesn’t actually flirt much, if at all. Doesn’t seem romantically interested, like, sure they kissed, but if you’re convinced it's a romantic attraction, you probably will kiss. He thinks of himself as her friend first. Heck, he didn’t even like Steph that much since she wouldn’t stop being reckless and stop flirting with him even when she knew he had a girlfriend. Maybe he was lonely and just tried to convince himself he even liked being around her. Makes more sense then going from being anywhere from mildly to just plain passive aggressive to her cause he didn’t enjoy her presence, to wanting to date her.

Even with Ariana since he seems to at least slightly compare his feelings with Steph's towards his feelings with her is implying he could just subconsciously think of Ari just as a friend too, but that's only if you already have the interpretation that Tim deep down only thinks of Steph as a friend and is confused about his feelings. Which personally, feels more accurate to me (at least the Steph part) because of how it's written, but I'm not sure that's how Dixon feels, and I'm pretty sure not.

But once it's written, the interpretation is then up to the reader unless you’re just really forcing it or literally making it up, cause it isn't an interpretation then, just some active imagination. Which is good, but I think people confuse the two sometimes. Even this from my end might be that for all I know. I had four hours of sleep and many anxiety attacks today and last night. So this post is probably sloppy and I sincerely apologize for that. I try to always keep things to the same standards on this blog. It's just that the Tim and Steph relationship has really weird writing that contradicts previous character feelings, and has moments were you can easily read it as something else.

So it's up to your canon really in this case since it's so awkwardly written. Which I rarely say because I feel things are normally written more straight forward. But this actually has some evidence to it if you look to see it as it that way.

there's more stuff that can imply Tim might just look at Steph just as a friend, I just didn't have it screenshotted. I think a friend that's been reading through Robin might've taken it, but that's a lot to go through. It'll probably show up on a longer post about the Tim and Steph relationship's horrid writing and more.

Again, Dixon in an interview seemed to call it love, maybe true love, can't remember how specific it got. So it's likely not what he meant to write--

but it's really easy to interpret that, and it's how I naturally read it too. It makes more sense to me then Tim randomly going from not liking her given her behavior, to feeling like he wants to date her.

Personally I agree with you since it fits his character better and it‘s easier  to read em as an example of that rather then what was probably actually intended.

Heck again, this post hasn't even talked about Zoe (who's probably my fav of his love interests because they actually seemed like they'd be a good couple together. I don't ship em per-say, I don't really feel like I ship anything with Tim truly deep down. I've said I've shipped timkon, but it's not actually a major ship for me. Just a casual thing, because I didn't really ship em cause I thought of it naturally) who he only went on a date with because she kissed Tim after being so excited he was alive after she saw him be kidnapped. Or Cassie who he more or less dated because they both loved Conner (in the same way or different ways, up to you I suppose), and ended up realizing they were just friends really. I think similar themes apply to him and tam too, but I honestly can't remember them, because I hate FabNic when he writes Tim. He's never truly got him right, and caused that friggin' "he can take over the world in a night" thing, that some fans of Tim has. tim's no wet-flower, he's clever and an incredibly talented martial artist, but that's dumb. I don't even think FabNic directly did anything like that, but I can't think of no other run that'd give anyone that impression.

I’m rambling again, I’m really sorry. this was so much longer than needed. I hope it isn’t too much of a pain.

#long post

[toooldforfandom-liveblogs]

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power S01E10 - The Beacon

My first thought after reading that title is "oh, the distress beacon Entrapta had in her castle." Maybe that's how they are going to find out she's alive? If it's even something that'll be dealt with this season. If it isn't that... hmm, I'm not sure what else it could be. Maybe something related to Glimmer's blocked powers? Or something related to She-Ra's powers?

I have no idea so let's do this!

I'm not sure what to think here. While in a practical sense she's right (why group the most important/powerful people in the world in one strike team instead of y'know using actual warfare and soldiers as a distraction), I doubt the show agrees with her.

I'm guessing there's some context that I'm missing, maybe whatever happened to the previous Princess Alliance was in part because they were together?

Well, this is a cheery way to start the episode.

Welp, everything they achieved during the season has been completely destroyed. I doubt Glimmer and Adora are going to blame each other but there's definitely going to be some self-blaming. Adora because of her plan, Glimmer for being captured.

Oof. Just oof.

lol at the mood whiplash between heavy emotions and defeat and this op

Ah, a precious new glimmer face that doesn't involve torture.

"nevermind, please carry me and let's not talk until next year"

That hesitance before saying loss is them reading through their Netflix contract figuring out if they can say death or not.

It's weird how they are both treating Entrapta's loss as serious business but also kinda lightly? I guess it makes sense if we consider no one really knew Entrapta so she's more like a long lost cousin than anything else. I'd still expect more... insistence from Angella though, Entrapta _did_ die saving her daughter.

Sure.

This is another one of those cases where I'm both thinking "this is really dumb" but also "it makes a ton of sense." From outside, this is the worst possible decision Glimmer could make right now, Angella has a lot more resources than they have to help her.

But, I completely understand _why_ Glimmer is being like that. It's one more excuse for her mom to keep overprotecting her and trying to escape that has been Glimmer's major motivation this season.

I have the feeling that recharging is going to make it worse since it means more energy to glitch out.

Can't believe Undyne Undertale works for the horde.

secret giggling Catra in the back

I'm glad that they went this way, with the flip-side of "takes all your credit" being "takes all the blame"

heeello there entrapta. Wow your death didn't last much at all.

nice callback to "Didn't you do something like this to relax in the horde?" "Uh, no. We hit things."

This is probably the one way Adora has to manage her stress.

welp

Can't believe this show is going to make me feel bad about angella.

Scorpia is an absolute treasure.

And now Catra meeting Entrapta in the Princess Ball has a reason. Because she already knows who she is, her first reaction is not to try and attack her but rather just a sigh because well, dealing with entrapta is worth a sigh.

Huh, that's an interesting tidbit to drop just like that. So Angella is immortal, is _Glimmer_ immortal too? How long has Angella lived? Long enough to have met the first ones?

Adora really needs to visit a therapist.

...ripe? What are they?

I bet this episode was the one reason they had to make it so high.

Of course she'd say that, it's a chance to see She-Ra in action _and_ to get healed. Win-win.

My brain is breaking while trying to figure out how Entrapta's hair works. Wouldn't making that second "tentacle" be enough to make the hair thin enough to escape? If she can make that second tentacle wouldn't it be incredibly easy to just move all her hair out of the shackles?

It's always refreshing to see "villains" that actually care for each other.

Catra is really good at manipulating people, probably thanks to Shadow Weaver's example, but the way she's using her own experiences makes it even better/worse.

Also interesting that they are hiding Entrapta's face.

The thing with Catra is that I can't tell when she's being honest. I _think_ she's genuinely sympathizing with Entrapta while at the same time planning how to use her. Like with Scorpia, she empathized with her but she also had a reason to do it. I wonder if that duality is going to cause her problems later on.

oh no, you're making me feel bad about Entrapta now.

my heart

I'm still thinking about that one picture with her and some robots that seemed to be taking the place of her parents. How many times has she been "left behind"?

Catra thinks she's being all evil and manipulative while Scorpia in the back is just going "yeah, that sounds right, worked for me"

I doubt Catra _wants_ to be protected but Scorpia is _such_ a good friend.

For some reason I don't really mind Entrapta joining the horde, I'm just hoping that they don't take advantage of her. That sounds weird but Scorpia _is_ happy there, why not Entrapta? There's always time for a heel-face turn later on.

She-Ra being a dork with super powers is one of the best parts of her entire character.

Can't wait to see Glimmer turned into a rainbow.

I'm never going to get sick of this joke.

Interesting. So the Horde doesn't know about the first ones? That seems wrong. I'm guessing they are actively blocking info about it and they actually want to destroy it.

Oh, the tower. With three episodes left maybe the finale is going to be there?

Yeah, I love this joke.

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. Even if it's true, that still gets an "ugh" from me, especially after that "I won't apologize" line.

Wait, what? Protect Bow? Oooooh, is Bow supposed to be her bodyguard?

I didn't expect the self-blame party to include Bow.

What with princesses liking arson. First RWBY and now She-Ra.

She's trying so hard to reconnect. I'm not a parent myself (thankfully) but I think everyone can at least understand the struggle to understand and connect with someone who seems to be pulling away.

Glimmer has some valid reasons to be doing it (teenager + being overprotected is a pretty bad combination) but I can't fault Angella too much for trying to do everything she can.

Of course, like most problems, it could get solved by talking, maybe this dinner is a chance?

Oof.

Wow.

I knew Glimmer had some issues with her self-esteem but damn, I didn't expect _this_. I guess this is the disadvantage of having an immortal parent who's also a queen. High expectations to live up to, self-imposed or not.

Daaaaaaaamn. Was it in battle or did Micah die rescuing her? It'd be an interesting parallel to Glimmer's kidnapping.

And, I hadn't really thought about this but, Micah being dead is a pretty good reason for Angella's "helicopter mom" tendencies.

Oooooooh, that's worse than I thought. And it explains why she's been mostly reactive in the war with Glimmer being the one who wants to take a more active role.

I'm still curious about what exactly happened in that battle and afterward. Have we heard how long was the first alliance? I can't remember, but it has to be less than 20 years ago considering Glimmer's age (unless she's also immortal and 300 years old)

Are Netossa and Spinerella also immortal? That'd explain why they look the same in the mural.

Aw, that got me teary-eyed a bit. It's probably not the end of their problems but they've at least started talking.

Lots of guilt all around

I was going to say "WHY DID YOU THROW AWAY THE SWORD" but there it is.

Vulnerability seems to be the theme of this episode. Or rather, choosing to be vulnerable or not.

The alliance is gone, Entrapta’s death is too much to bear and the princesses choose to all return to their own respective kingdoms, literally closing themselves off the world in the case of Frosta and Mermista.

We don’t see what happens with them afterward but everything that follows is about how that seems to be the worst choice to make.

Entrapta decides to help Catra not because she’s evil or wants revenge but because she finally feels understood. Would she have turned so easily if she _really_ believed in her new friends? How long has she lived alone in that castle? How many times has she been left behind or branded a problem because of her behavior? Sure, she usually acts like she doesn‘t care but that doesn‘t mean it‘s true.

Catra’s intentions are definitely not pure but she’s speaking from her own experiences and that’s enough to make the princess relate to her.

The opposite happens with Shadow Weaver. She refuses to be vulnerable and apologize, choosing to feed Catra a line with how it was all to prepare her. All this achieves is to alienate her further.

On the other side of the war, Glimmer spends the entire episode trying to avoid her mom, but it’s only after her insecurities explode and Angella opens up with her own that they can start mending their relationship and fix Glimmer’s glitching.

Adora is the clearest example, it takes dropping her defenses and revealing her self-doubt to herself and the world before the forest lets her through to the Beacon.

The best thing about all of this is that the episode didn’t beat me over the head with the “moral” of the episode. Besides Perfuma’s words, it’s all in how the characters act and the consequences. It has faith in the viewer to get it and that’s pretty neat.

Some jumbled thoughts:

* I’m not a big fan of diagnosing characters of real-life stuff but I wonder if Entrapta was written to be neurodivergent on purpose instead of just being an excuse to make her funny/frustrating.

* Bow seems to be the only one handling things more or less okay (even before they talk things out) but who knows, maybe he’s bottling it all up to explode in the future.

* I’m trying to guess what will happen next. They have to heal Glimmer and fix up the Alliance but neither of those things seems finale worthy. Maybe Angella is going to attack the Horde? There’s also the question of what’s going to happen with Adora and Catra, maybe another vision revealing more of what it all means?

* How long before the Princesses find out that Entrapta is alive? It’s probably going to be pretty sad, twice. First, when they find out they abandoned her in enemy territory and second when they realize she doesn’t want to go back with them.

I think that’s all for now, until next time!

#shera #shera liveblog #shera s01e10 #spop

[blushloi-blog]

On Our Own (BoRhap!Roger Taylor x Reader)

Summary: you and roger broke up two months ago and it‘s been hell for both of you

Note: SO MUCH ANGST. HOLY SHIT. SO SAD. also i didn‘t proofread this and it‘s 3am so sorry girlies

Listen to On Our Own by Bruno Major!!!

Words: 2300

It’s been two months.

No goodmorning or goodnight kisses, no late night conversations, no long, loving hugs.

No I love you‘s.

You slowly stopped your alarm clock from ringing, blowing your messy hair out of your face while sighing. You dreamt about him again. It was always the same, you waking up with a tear stained face, wishing he was there to hold you, to tell you it was going to be alright. But he wasn‘t.

„This isn‘t working,“ he slowly said, before giving you the most heartbroken look ever. Your heart dropped. „What isn‘t working?“ All the anger you had felt over him coming home piss drunk again faded at that exact moment. You were just sad.

„This hasn‘t been working for a long time now, we were just too scared to admit it,“ he added, voice breaking and looking down, not being able to face you.

You understood what he was trying to tell you. Trying to come up with anything to say, you opened your mouth and just closed it. Tears welling up in your eyes, falling down your cheeks, you tried to process the words he had just said.

„Just pack your bag and leave,“ you said.

„I‘ll always love you-“

„You won‘t. Please, just go,“ the last words just came out like a faint whisper. You were too scared you were going to sob any second, making yourself look vulnerable in front of his eyes.

He wanted to say something. But he didn‘t.

Half an hour later, you heard the door shut.

Today marks exactly two months since you last spoke to him. You haven‘t seen him since - he was probably at his mum’s place anyway.

There was so much you wanted to tell him. So much you should’ve said.

You sometimes blame yourself more than him for leaving you. You sit in your car, randomly at 3pm, and his face just comes up in your thoughts. And you just wish you would‘ve showed him a little more how much you loved him and cared about him because it really hurt.

Feeling like utter shit has turned into a daily routine. You weren‘t sleeping, eating or just living well, all because you terribly missed him. You missed his witty jokes, his terrible cooking skills, the way he’d run his fingers through your hair when you fell asleep on his lap, his glowing green eyes when he told you he loved you more than anything in this world.

He was right at a certain point; Things had changed while you two were still together. After the second year your relationship had started to become more of a chore than a blessing, him coming home as late as possible and hoping you were asleep and not up, waiting for him to come home.

But now you know that you two did love eachother, even if it didn’t seem like it. You two took your relationship for granted, thought that you‘ll always be there for eachother, no matter what.

But just like a flower that isn‘t cared for, your relationship started to wither.

Pushing all dark thoughts away, you decided to clean yourself and your apartment up a bit before going out for a walk; something you two usually did on a rare, free day of his, if he wasn‘t touring or rehearsing.

Sighing again after you had managed to take a shower and put a tiny bit of makeup on, you put on your jacket before heading out. The air was crisp, but not necessarily cold. It was early spring, the sun was barely out and the flowers just started to show up again. You smiled melancholically, knowing spring was Rogers favorite season.

„Why, though?“ you laughed as you put another grape in your mouth.

„It‘s not too cold, or warm, pretty flowers and sunshine everywhere. How can you not love spring?“ he asked ironically as he sat down next to you, flipping through the magazine that you had thrown on the couch in your living room before turning your attention to him.

„Autumn is so much prettier. The colors, the fashion, Halloween, I get warm inside just thinking about it.“

„Alright, alright. Spring is still better, though.“

„It‘s not.“ You shrugged before giggling as he raised his eyebrow playfully.

„Just wait until next spring. It‘ll be your best one yet, I promise you that.“

You started to walk, not caring where you would end up. There was a lake about fifteen minutes away from your apartment - only your apartment now - so you just decided to go there. Get your mind off of things a bit. Throw a couple of rocks into the water, listen to crickets or any other insekts make various sounds, sit under a, now blooming, tree, feel the sun tickle your nose. You didn‘t quite realize you were just planning on repeating things you used to do with Roger, so whenever you thought of them, you‘d just think about you doing them by yourself - and not with him.

But nonetheless, you went to the lake.

There were a couple children playing in the park near the lake, and you couldn‘t help but smile again.

„Ten of them,“ he said and started laughing as you just sat there, mouth wide open.

„You‘re joking,“ you just retorted.

„Just think about it, ten little Rogers and (Y/N)s running around. Imagine how cute.“

„You‘re not the one having to carry and push out bloody babies. Three, period.“

„Five.“

„Three.“

„Four.“

„Three.“

„Three and a half - Wait, no.“

You furrowed your brows before falling into a pit of laughter, him joining you right afterwards.

Sitting on a bench, you grabbed a couple rocks from the floor and threw them into the water, not even caring how many times they‘d jump back up. Your mind was constantly on him, how being with him felt, laughing until you could barely breathe, the way his thumb did that little moving thing while holding your hand, the way your head rested on his shoulder, the way he used to rub his hands up and down your back whilst hugging, watching him blow you kisses from the stage - his lips on yours.

It was all so near, yet so far away.

Caught up in your thoughts, you hadn‘t noticed someone was also throwing rocks into the water now, the rock bouncing up and hitting the surface of the water about six times before sinking.

Turning your head to the side, you held your breath.

„Roger,“ you simply whispered, already holding back tears, blinking vigorously so they wouldn‘t fall.

„Hi,“ he breathed out, not knowing what to say.

You didn‘t really notice - or care, for that matter - the bags under his eyes or his sort of worn down state. To you, he looked as beautiful as ever.

His eyes weren’t glowing, though. They were sad.

„Why are you here?“ you just asked, trying to start a conversation. Out of all places, he was here.

„Was just around, you know I love this lake.“ By that he meant he was hoping to see you here.

After what felt like a thousand years of silence, he threw another rock in the water. „How are you? Are you eating well? You look a bit thinner,“ he said and gestured for you two to sit down on a bench, and so you did.

„It‘s been good, have just been going to the gym a lot more, you know,“ you lied.

„Oh, that’s good. You remember when I tried to drag you along once?“ he asked and let out a faint chuckle.

„Please, no,“ you whined as you two entered the gym.

„This is going to be so much fun,“ he stated before turning on the treadmill.

After twenty minutes of running you were a heavy breathing mess, deciding to just watch him work out the rest of the day.

„Love, this is too easy,“ he breathed out as you sat on top of him while he was doing push ups.

„I can see that,“ you sarcastically said before laying down under him, him pecking your lips every time he did a push up.

„Didn‘t you break your record for the most push ups your ever did in one sitting that day?“ you chuckled too.

„Certainly did.“

„How are you, though? You look a bit skinner, too. Guess your cooking skills haven’t improved, have they?“ Trying to lighten the mood, you hadn’t noticed a tear streaming down your face. Roger noticed, though.

He hated it.

„Good, good. I‘m staying with Freddie now until I, you know, get a place I like. That man has a whole room for each one of his cats, it’s bloody ridiculous.“

„Well, Delilah is a subtle woman in need of her beauty sleep,“ you said in the most Freddie-like accent you could possibly imagine, causing him to laugh out loud at that.

„Why on earth does this house have so many rooms?“ Roger stated as he went to open countless doors, revealing other rooms behind them. He was holding you by your waist, you two tagging along as Freddie frantically waved around, trying to show you two everything you needed to know about Garden Lodge.

„Darling, the cats - they need their own rooms. When you and (Y/N) have little ones running around, you‘ll want to give them their own spaces as well,“ Freddie simply answered Roger. You blushed at him mentioning you and Roger having kids, and he just smirked at you before slightly grabbing your butt, something he always did.

„I agree with Freddie, love,“ you said as you went to pick up Delilah, your favorite, lightly scratching her behind her ears, making her purr. Roger smiled.

„Delilah is a subtle woman in need of her beauty sleep. I mean, just look at her!“ Freddie practically screamed as you and Roger started laughing hysterically at the use of his words.

„They miss you, terribly,“ he said after calming down a bit. By that he meant he missed you terribly.

„I miss them, too - so much.“ By that you meant you missed him too, so much.

„Make sure you visit them sometime.“

„I will, just need to sort out a few things before, you know.“

Silence again. It was agonizing, you not being able to just sit on his lap and play with his hair at that very moment, or lie on the grass, his head on your stomach, having a picnic.

Both of you wanted to say something, to let eachother know how much you still wanted eachother - how much you still loved and cared for one another.

„Hey, hey, it‘s okay, Roger, look at me, it‘s going to be okay,“ you repeatedly said as you held his face in your hands, his shaky breath after an anxiety attack making you want to cry yourself. It was their first big gig, after their new album reached number one on the charts, and he was scared shitless.

He immediately felt safe at your touch. He looked at you as if you were his world. His savior. The one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. And then, he thought about what you once had told him: „Say it before you run out of time. Say it before it‘s too late. Say what you‘re feeling. Waiting is a mistake.“

So he said it. „I love you.“

Taken back by that, you just started grinning as you felt your eyes water. It was the first time he had ever told you he loved you. You two weren‘t even dating at that time, had just been going out for about three months or so.

„I love you too. Now go out there and crush it,“ you kissed him.

But it seemed like he was doing so well without you, and you so well without him - so you both didn’t want to ruin that, even if it meant having to spend the rest of your life without one another. The fact that you were so skinny was because you were too sad to even eat, and him being too worn out to wake up in the morning without seeing your cute little face was overlooked by the two of you, being blinded by the pretentious behavior you were holding up.

„I should actually go, we‘ve been working our asses off on this new record-“, he started.

„Yeah, me too. Work and all.“

He stopped talking, giving you a sad smile before standing up and you doing the same. He slowly but surely wrapped his arms around you, you almost starting to cry again as you smelled his cologne and cigarette smoke scent, the one you loved and missed so much. You wrapped both your arms around his shoulders, giving him the tightest hug you had ever given anyone. None of you wanted to let eachother go, but you did.

His eyes were glossy and slightly red, you could see that. „Ah, shit- Allergies and all,“ he tried to cover up his crying and let out an awkward laugh. And you, you idiot, believed him.

„It was really nice to get to talk to you again, Rog,“ you just said before looking down, scared he‘ll see the tears daring to drip down your cheeks.

„You too, (Y/N). Take care, alright? Make sure you come by Garden Lodge sometime, please,“ he rubbed your shoulder to give you a sense of comfort. He wanted you to know everything was going to be alright.

„Yes, I‘ll try. Take care, Rog.“

That was it. The proper goodbye.

And with that, you two started walking away from eachother. Craving eachother, wanting eachother, loving eachother more than you ever did.

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor one shot #roger taylor angst #ben hardy as roger taylor #ben hardy as roger taylor fanfic #ben hardy as roger taylor imagine #ben hardy as roger taylor one shot #angst #imagine #fluff #smut #ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy one shot #queen #queen fanfic #queen imagine #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody imagine #bohemian rhapsody fanfic #bohemian rhapsody one shot #freddie mercury #john deacon #brian may #rami malek #freddie mercury imagine #gwilym lee

[in-her-broomcloset]

Addressing Recent Discourse

My apologies to mobile users for the length of this post.

Here are the posts in question. I’ve linked the originals, you can surf the notes.

These are the statements I’ll be addressing:

“Politics is not above metaphysics.”

“Just because you don’t “ever suggest” something doesn’t mean it does not work or is not capable of working.”

“if you want to influence everyone who votes, there is a way to generate enough energy: believe in your spellwork, call upon strong ass deities or spirits, call on the elements and the Earth, align all of your corresponding herbs/crystals/tools, and cast the fucking spell. ... You don’t just send it out into the world and hope its self-sufficient enough to keep the energy going. Go back and re-work it, keep adding your energy to it, work on it everyday and dedicate yourself to its success.”

 “The physical realm, first of all, is comprised of matter, and matter is just condensed energy. Our spirits are partially contained within condensed energy casings which we tend to call our “selves” or our bodies.”

“you’re thinking of politics as an idea, but not what it actually is. ... Politics is a word, okay? It is made by and given meaning by people. ... So the root of this issue is people, not some word invented by people. ... And people are not beyond being influenced by magick, because magick deals with energy and will, and people are just layers of energy in varying densities.”

 “Magick cast in such a broad net, is bound to be spread too thin, especially if it’s just one person or coven”

 “I knew we agreed on the difficulties mass spells have that go along with them. (A) I don't agree with politics being outside magick's influence. (B) I don't agree with magick not affecting the physical realm. (C) I don't agree with magick dealing only with the subconscious. (D) I don’t agree with telling witches that something absolutely won’t work. (E) I don’t agree with not putting forth the reason behind an answer you’ve provided to a question and instead just saying it won’t work over and over.”

And the kicker: “If you think that magick produces no real results in the “physical” realm, why are you doing magick? Why do you practice witchcraft if you don’t even believe in the basic fundamentals of magick? Because what you’re saying here is that you believe magick is about tricking your subconscious to believe in your ability to control an outcome or situation without any tangible results. So explain it to me. What are you doing in your practice where you think that magick doesn’t apply to the physical realm? Because I am trying to understand this right now. You have all of these followers and listeners looking to you for advice and guidance, and you’re telling them that witchcraft isn’t going to change anything for them. It can’t even change a fucking word. A word.”

These are my responses:

I disagree. The fact that we disagree does not matter at all since we practice witchcraft separately and neither of us are trying to dictate the other’s actual craft. But I will share why I believe an individual or small group cannot use magick to influence politics in responses #5 & #6.

True and correct. I gave my advice due to the converse reason. It wasn’t “this won’t work because I said so.” What I intended to say was “I don’t suggest it because I don’t think it‘s effective because of how I understand magick to work.” But anyone who disagrees is free to ignore me.

Very good advice for every witch regarding any spell. However, you contradict yourself later to say that you can’t successfully influence everyone who votes. At this point it doesn’t mater to me what your stance is on that

True. Everything is composed of matter. Everything is composed of and radiates energy. Our bodies/vessels/shells/casings are included in that.

I don’t appreciate boiling down an entire social structure into “a word” because you can do that to anything. Justice is just a word. Equal is just a word. Dictator is just a word. But they hold meaning and it is important to attach the idea to the word. Otherwise our whole language and society is useless and left without structure. I’m confused because you kind of contradict yourself by saying politics is just a word but it’s also about people. I agree that politics is about people. It’s primarily about the government system and the people who make up the government, along with the citizens affected. The Ask in question asked about influencing the outcome of elections. You can do that by either A) forcing the majority to vote a certain way B) rigging the elections through voting  machines or government officials C) causing the government to override the popular vote. We as citizens can’t do a single one of these physically. Because the government holds too much power over citizens. It’s not a fair or completely logical system due to the amount of corruption within the world of politics. You can’t fix corruption with magick. You can’t cure greed or malice or spite through magick. You can’t cure politicians. The same way you can’t turn me into a (insert opposing political party here) with a spell, you can’t change the minds of politicians with a spell from an individual. We can barely do it through individual physical actions. You would need a LOT of support.

I agree wholeheartedly and is the major reason why I feel politics cannot be influenced by magick. Politics = government = many many many individuals, corrupt individuals. You can’t harness enough energy to make a noticeable change amongst ALL these people. You would need a whole nation of citizens to do that. And at that point, if you have that kind of support, why rely on magick! Just take political action. Also I’d like to point out that politics should be taken very seriously at this time across all nations and we should be doing as much as we can to make a change for the better. Magick is a passive act when it comes to politics. We need to be ACTIVE. Casting spells won’t hurt but it’s just not enough. I will always stand by this.

There’s a lot to unpack here. A) Agree to disagree. In theory you could target your intentions at a specific politician, but if you don’t have a taglock for them or have never met them or had contact with them, it decreases the possibility for it to be effective. Not impossible!! But less likely B) I said “magick doesn’t work in the physical realm” and that is entirely different than “it doesn’t affect the physical realm.” We only know that our magick was successful when it manifests and does affect the physical world! What I meant by my original phrase is that the process of magick, sending out your desires into the universe in the hopes that they manifest, is done energetically with the use of physical tools and our vessels (physical bodies). We can’t SEE magick. We can only physically see our actions and hopefully our results. It’s exactly like electricity. We can’t see it! We can only see its physical manifestations (electronics, lightning, etc.) C) Again, it doesn’t affect our physical bodies. Just like vitamins, magick doesn’t miraculously cure our ailments. It can only aid in the process. You can cast a motivation spell to increase your productivity. If successful, you’ve affected your subconscious by giving it a goal to strive for. Your physical body will then follow as a result or effect. Your magick didn’t jump into the physical realm to eliminate your ADHD. It worked through your subconscious and energy. D) I don’t regret telling someone my advice. It wasn’t intended to be law. All advice should be taken with a grain of salt. The seeker of the advice is always free to do WHATEVER the fuck they want anyway. E) I see why not immediately supporting my statement was frustrating. But to be honest I just had better things to do first. I’m not as passionately invested in this as you. That might not be apparent by how long my responses have been, but that’s just because you added so many false annotations to my very short statements and mistook a lot of what i said. After this I am done. I’m confident that I’ve said everything I can on the matter.

To reiterate: I do wholeheartedly believe that magick renders results in the physical realm. It is the workings of the magick itself before results are seen that doesn’t take place in the physical realm. That’s the part that affects energy and the subconscious. Please do not misconstrue my words as strongly as you did anymore. I am simply driven by logic. I carry a healthy dose of skepticism with my in my craft to weed out what I find to be ineffective. However, my skepticism never becomes cynicism. I’m driven by logic and feel most comfortable practicing and sharing only what makes sense to me based on logical analysis. Sometimes disagreements happen. I don’t care. If I am asked for advice I will give it because I assume the seeker knows that I know I’m not God or think I’m preaching the Laws.

[dreadlock-detective]

Being out in the world now what’s the biggest scare or feeling of evil Dindel has come across? Human or monster or otherwise?

Dindel’s seen some shit, but four things do stand out in different ways:

Vale, just, in general when he’s in a berserker rage

Easily the biggest hangup Dindel’s had in getting closer to him, and some of the earliest “Oh shit what have I gotten myself into” moments. In particular, in the first session when the group were participating in events to prove their prowess Vale was in a sparring tournament and he just freaking caved in his opponent’s chest cavity (though this did actually cement Dindel’s eligibility to the group since she managed to set his ribs back and heal him - more concerned about Vale getting disqualified for murdering a guy than that there was a massive crowd watching her use magic her dad told her to keep secret), and in the first major conflict the group had with bandits. One of the bandits, seeing his compatriots struck down, dropped his bow and fled. Vale was faster. Dindel yelled after him to let him go, but he caved in the guy’s skull with his flail… That in particular got it into her head that even she can’t get through to him when he’s in that state.

Absolutely the Worst Bandit Dude

In a slightly later bandit encounter, Vale dropped to 0hp while fighting a number of bandits - a rogue and some heavily armored bloke. In a panic, Dindel ran out from the rest of the group to heal Vale. Believing the old adage of “Kill the White Mage First”, that turned Dindel into priority #1. Seeing that, Vale yelled for them to leave her alone and to fight him like men. He rolled a 1 on his intimidate. The armored bandit instead sneered at him and told Vale not only was he going to kill her, once they were done he was going to violate her corpse too.

Perhaps not coincidentally, that man is also I think the only person Dindel has ever directly killed (Definitely the first at least). Burned him to death with holy flames. Which she didnt actually INTEND to kill him, but hey, that’s magic~

The Painted Ones in the Hills

A wandering tribe of sadists, numbering 50 or so, the group encountered on their trip to the mountains. Too many to fight, they ran down our group and said they’d let us pass through their lands, but first we had to pay a toll - their leader brandishing a cat o’ nine tails. Vale naturally volunteered to be the one to get whipped but then Niles, the (secretly) half-elf bard started mouthing off… and they liked him more.  So the group had no choice but to stand by while Niles got his back flayed to shit, then they healed him back, and did it all over again. All the while the tribe were hollering and whipping themselves in a literal and metaphorical frenzy. And then they let us our way, with the wonderful knowledge that, yeah, there are crazy, horrible people out there that can just corner us and do what they want and we don’t really have the strength to oppose them~

(Also its where the Niles/Dindel interaction from this set of drawings comes from, in the bottom left)

Watching a literal angel fall from grace. And then killing it.

The most recent bit of trauma, the group had freshly experienced thuggishly slaughtering a whole lot of hobgoblins because they didn’t agree to just give us everything we wanted (The attack Dindel was caught COMPLETELY off guard by and did not participate in aside from distance-healing). Seeing the people she was with capable of doing something so underhanded and dirty, Dindel started to have a major crisis in what she was doing, though Vale and Essmer did manage to sooth it slightly. That was the start of the dungeon.

At the end they found a strange massive stone orb embedded deep underground, eventually finding a hole melted in to it from where it clipped in to an underground passage. Knowing it was the work of some agents of evil they knew of but had not encountered, they entered cautiously and found what was clearly once a prison of some kind - a stone slab in the middle lay empty with shackles that once bound some form of creature released. Still in the room sat an angel, reciting prayers. Along the walls two spiney devils clung, mocking it.

Naturally we engaged the devils. The angel, seeing us, had it’s confidence renewed and joined the fight. But as it tried to summon support the spell went wrong and imps were summoned instead… as we fought on we heard it rambling that something was wrong. That it did what it HAD to. That it wasn’t wrong. And then as we slew the last of the devils it turned to us in a craze and declared us blasphemers and attacked. As it did so it’s wings and armor turned black, it’s skin red, and its holy weapon twisting and contorting in its hands into something fiendish.

The whole time we fought, any time we hit it with holy energy the confused, terrified visage of the angel would momentarily return, only to be consumed again. It nearly took down everyone. Completely exhausted our resources. We were on the edge of tipping into party-wipe levels of bad when we finally took it down…

And what was left, again, was the knowledge that there was something out there beyond the group’s ability to deal with. For Dindel, specifically, whatever this power working from the shadows is it‘s enough to drive an angel from grace (and kill 2 others as we’d come to find out) and that is terrifying. Whatever power she can muster is nothing compared to an angel, much less this force. The only thing she can even think to do is hope with all her might she never finds out what supposed to be trapped inside that chamber.

#ask #story time #Dindel #Vale #text #Dungeons and Dragons #d&d #5e

[joonsgalaxy]

a timely malfunction

pairing: taehyung x reader (gender neutral)

genre/au: fluff, time travel, friends to lovers

words: 2,9k

prompt: 17  “What? No, I never said that.”  requests

As your little brother would most likely say—this is hella awkward. And, quite frankly, out of all the expressions in this wide world this one fits the situation the best. The air that hangs heavily above the tiny round table holds a palpable tension between you and Taehyung. The short glances that are exchanged between you two are full of unspoken spitefulness and accusations, mostly from your side.

You'd think the insignificant conversations with Jihyo would help, but it's quite the opposite—it only annoys you even further. You shouldn't have agreed to this brunch, but you‘re only now realizing the fact and, ironically, you can't turn back time and make up some excuse not to go.

At least the weather is delightful. The sun is kissing your skin pleasantly, birds are chirping their gleeful melodies, and the scent of the light breeze is whispering about the forthcoming summer.

However, as you shift in your seat the sun is not the one to be held culpable for the rather uncomfortable warmth within you. The awareness of Taehyung's presence mere few feet away from you is what makes your blood thicken and simmer. Not in a good way.

Just a few days ago Jihyo told you something really unpleasant. Something about you that was originally uttered by Taehyung.

With your arms crossed, body sinking back into your seat, you try to ignore all of that as best you can.

You let yourself enjoy the almost stinging brightness that the sun provides to your closed eyelids as you tilt back your head.

The sound of cars whooshing past you in the street never fails to calm your nerves. The clicking of high heels and softer thuds of boots against pavement create a melodic rhythm that simultaneously reminds you of a bustling city and brings you to some place that's deeply serene and comforting. The chatter of people passing by forces your mind into other worlds, other people's lives and conversations. You nearly forget where you actually are. With whom you actually are.

Except Jihyo’s voice slams you back into your reality. Back to the protracted brunch that seems to never end.

Still, you keep your eyes closed.

‘Mm,’ she hums, mouth full of her sandwich. ‘Seriously, the best sandwich on earth.’

Perhaps you could say the same about yours, but you scarcely touched it. You don't feel particularly hungry.

Taehyung's voice is the reason you unwillingly open your eyes. He says your name.

You blink at him, squinting. ‘What?’

‘I got...’ he begins. His eyes skid toward Jihyo as if to make sure she's more into her sandwich than whatever he's about to tell you. He chooses his words carefully, ‘I received a message.’

Every syllable of the last word held a secret only you two knew.

You mull it over for a quick second. Choose to blatantly ignore him, at least for now.

‘Jihyo,’ you gleefully turn to your friend. She happily sets down her sandwich, clearly enjoying seeing your mood brighten up. If only it were real.

Taehyung, obviously, sees through your mask and heaves a sigh.

‘So,’ you decide to make small talk with Jihyo. ‘How's your wolf doing?’

Her eyes light up joyfully—you finally seem interested in conversing with her.

Out of the corner of your eye you notice Taehyung draw his attention to the smart watch on his wrist.

Jihyo’s mouth opens to tell you all about her precious pet—the majestic snowy white wolf—when suddenly... all of you feel the ominous, yet highly familiar vibration under your feet. All of your gazes jump toward the cups on the table. The liquid is rippling in tiny waves as though somebody were continuously hitting the wooden table in a steady rhythm. Thump. Thump. Thump.

‘Oh not again,’ Jihyo exclaims and jumps to her feet, strangely both terrified and annoyed. You relate, though.

‘It‘s the third time this month,‘ she tells you, hurriedly gathering her stuff, ‘And it's only the sixth of May!‘

Taehyung and you quickly glance at each other and leap to your feet as well.

Your heart's hammering faster already; the adrenaline starts to kick in.

The good thing is, the world's most awkward brunch has been interrupted and now you have other things to worry about. The not so good thing is… there are other things you have to worry about.

‘See you tomorrow!’ Jihyo‘s words come out rushed as she starts toward south. She adds over her shoulder, ‘If we stay alive that is.’

You'll probably never get used to this.

Now that you and Taehyung are left standing there rather awkwardly, he throws his thumb over one of his own shoulders, motioning toward the end of the street, where your house sits. ‘We should...‘

‘Yeah, we should,’ is your response.

You both gather your stuff just like Jihyo did—Taehyung tears his jacket from the back of the chair, you scoop your mobile phone up from the surface of the tiny table.

You consider grabbing your avocado sandwich too, but end up deciding against it.

There are piercing honks of cars, a few screeches of people mingling with them as you jog with Taehyung by your side.

You've been in this version of your lives for almost a month now, but you still haven't got used to how everything works here.

This kind of “glitch”—as your employer referred to it—has never happened to you before in your entire time travelling career of two years.

Usually, you go back in time with your partner, having a task to change something small yet significant to someone’s life, then go back to the exact second you left in the present.

The things you change don’t have a direct impact on you or Taehyung, or the team that made the time travelling possible.

Clients—that have some kind of regrets from the past haunting them—can’t be trusted with the device that lets you go back in time. There’s a risk of them going reckless, having that kind of power, whereas you go there with the sole purpose of changing what you were told to change. No less, no more. A trained professional, secretly showing clients important signs that guide them toward certain directions in their life situations.

However, this time ended up being different. After finishing your task you came back to the present like always, yet there was some kind of malfunctioning—a major one—in the process. It changed everything. And when you came back, you scarcely could recognize the world.

The sight on the street is a great example of the oddness.

An old yet excessively fancy looking carriage's wheels are slowly rolling across the asphalt as the two horses in front of it shakily trot with freaked out looks in their eyes. Behind that very carriage is inching forward the most expensive and innovative Porsche you've ever seen. The car's horn is harshly blaring for half the town to hear.

A newspaper reporter is taking pictures of people running to their shelters. There are probably a hundred headlines running through his clever mind as the rather well defined muscles in his arms strain in the process of holding the camera steadily. And the struggle is understandable since the camera seems to be from an era, where people didn't even know the word “movies”. You guess it could weigh approximately 8 pounds.

And the strangest, most petrifying thing of all is—you're running to your place to hide from dinosaurs! Forests trampling, houses crushing, humans eating, utterly terrifying, life size dinosaurs!

What could be crazier than that?

For this exact reason you are getting out of breath, the fear stomping on your lungs.

Conveniently enough everyone has their own bunkers in their backyard, where they can hide. The bunkers can hold up to twenty tonnes atop themselves, if there should be the need.

And conveniently—or not—Taehyung and you are forced to sprint toward the same bunker, because apparently you two are a couple that lives together now.

You have no idea why people have regular houses near their shelters, for they could get easily crushed by the dinosaurs; but here, in this time and place, everything seems to make sense for everybody even though you tend to have lots of unspoken questions.

Catching your breath you both stride past your neighbour’s house—an enormous mansion with thick columns that make your house look two times smaller than it already is.

You reach the shelter in your own backyard. Taehyung punches in the code and holds the door for you. Still breathing quite heavily, you mumble a tiny thanks and take the stairs down to the cosy living area.

Once the doors are closed, the air seems eerily quiet down there.

The cube is fairly deep into the ground, but as the dinosaurs get closer and closer the floor still mildly vibrates beneath your feet so you make yourself comfortable on the couch to feel safer.

Taehyung‘s footsteps thud against the floor and echo between the thick walls. He strolls to the fridge; a sound of glass clacking reaches your ears as Taehyung grabs a couple of cold beer bottles.

You fold your arms against your chest as if shielding yourself from his charms that work very well on you when you two are alone. Even if he isn't quite aware of that.

‘What‘s the occasion?’ You try your best to sound uninterested.

Taehyung sets one of the bottles for you on the table, settles himself into the other couch in front of you.

His beer hisses when he flicks the cap off with an ease.

Taehyung's hand holds the opener above the table, waits for you to snatch it, but you never do, your eyes reluctant to gaze at his direction. He heaves a sigh and switches the bottles.

‘I‘ll tell you the good news,’ he begins, the other bottle—originally yours, now his—hissing for a quick second, ‘When you tell me what's up with you.’

You take in a steadying breath. ‘I don't know what you're talking about.’

‘Oh come on. You've been avoiding me for the past three days. Always eyeing me as if I was some kind of a criminal. Much like you're doing now.’

You scoff. ‘Am not.’

Taehyung seems incredulous. ‘Uh-ha.’

He settles back into the couch, props his feet onto the table, beer in hand. The opener sits still on the table patiently. Just like your bottle of beer.

‘You‘ve been like this only around me,’ he muses. ‘So it has to be something I did.’

‘Don't flatter yourself. You're not that important.’

‘Ouch.’

The ground shakes a little stronger. The bottle opener rattles against the wooden table, making sharp quick clanking sounds. A dinosaur must be precisely atop the bunker or somewhere extremely close.

You refuse to meet Taehyung's hard gaze.

‘I could try and guess,’ he says, ‘But for some reason I think that'd be only a waste of time. Why don't you make it easier for the both of us? Stop that silence treatment and start talking like a grown up.’

A grown up?

His words uttered by your friend to you are coming back at you with full force, slapping you in the face and making your blood boil.

That's it. You snap. ‘Oh now you wanna talk to me?’ You fix your gaze upon his confused eyes. ‘Even though I'm extremely annoying, I don't wash the dishes and you're thinking of breaking up with me? You said it yourself,’ you add, when his face shows utter perplexity.

The second all that burst out of you is the exact moment you feel regret wash over you.

Mortification strikes you.

Why the hell did you tell him all of this?

Damn it.

‘What?’ Taehyung gives you a look of sheer bewilderment. ‘No.’

His feet jump down to the floor; his body leans closer to the table. ‘I never said that.’

You’re not able to hold his gaze, when a moment later he breathes out an oh upon realization.

Embarrassment rushes instantaneously toward your every cell, coating your bones and seeping into them.

It’s suddenly a little hot. You start craving that cold beer on the table.

‘It wasn’t me.’

You’re aware of that. You know that you’re being irrational and silly, punishing Taehyung and yourself for something you both didn’t exactly had influence on.

‘Well, technically it was me,’ he corrects himself. His voice is deep, his tone soft, careful. ‘But this version of me grew up differently. Nothing here makes sense, can’t you see?’

‘I know. This is stupid. I’m stupid.’

Taehyung sets his bottle down, clasps his hands atop the table. ‘You’re not stupid. Can I ask you why did this affect you that much?’

You suck in a breath to calm yourself, feel it sooth your jittery nerves, then release it.

Honesty seems the best policy, because hiding stuff from Taehyung has never had a great outcome before.

‘Maybe because I believed those words? That you genuinely think that way about me.’

‘That you don’t do the dishes?’ A ghost of a smile tugs at Taehyung’s lips; his eyes are warm and friendly.

You pout slightly, clarifying, ‘That I’m annoying, and that you—

You don’t really intend to finish the sentence, because it’s simply ridiculous.

You wish you have acted normal these past few days instead of trying to ignore him. You wish you didn’t have to face his questions right now.

Taehyung delicately scoffs in what appears to be disbelief, ‘Annoying…’ The look in his eyes shifts to a colder one, as if judging his own self. ‘That’s not a solid enough reason to— I’m such an idiot in this reality.’

His acknowledgment has a comforting effect on you. Maybe only the other version of him would break up with you; perhaps the Taehyung you know would never treat you like—

Why are you even thinking about this? You’re not actually a couple, and you never will be.

Once you come back to the original reality you two will resume your not-so-close relationship that could easily be approved by any committee of work ethics.

You feel the need to explain yourself to him as to why this all affected you. ‘You know, I was wondering. If being a couple didn’t work out for us, then maybe we’re not that good at being co-workers too.’

‘Don’t be silly, we have a great dynamic.’ Taehyung narrows his eyes a little, tilts his head to the side. ‘Is that the real reason you were upset?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Is it really just because of work?’ He clarifies, with a smirk plastering his face.

It’s getting hotter again. ‘Why wouldn’t it be?’

‘Because you’re into me.’ His eyes glimmer in amusement and confidence, lips stretching into a smile that says “gotcha!”.

Your mouth goes dry. Would it look suspicious to snatch that bottle up and take a long chug of your beer right now? ‘Pfft. Yeah. Right. Haha.’

‘No. Really.’ Taehyung interrupts your nervous glancing around the room. ‘I need to know.’ His face grows more serious, eyes emanating… hopefulness? Just a teeny tiny bit of hopefulness that compels you to remember the phrase again. Honesty is the best policy.

‘Okay,’ you tentatively murmur. ‘You got me.’

Taehyung softly gasps. ‘Oh shit, really?’

You can’t quite decipher his expression. Is it a good oh shit, really? or a bad one?

You start to regret confessing, shifting in your seat awkwardly.

He picks up on that and hurriedly makes an attempt to reassure you, ‘This is actually awesome.’

Your puzzled eyes lock with his. Awesome?

Taehyung slumps into the couch, head tilting heavenward. His fingers absently dance atop his thighs as a relieved sigh escapes his lungs. ‘To be honest, this was a timely glitch, because I’ve been wondering about us a lot. And the moment I realized we’ll be spending more time together I was like yes! I can finally find out if you like me back.’

‘Back?’

He nods, meeting your surprised gaze. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t realize I had a crush on you.’

How were you supposed to realize? Was he trying to show you his feelings? Has he been giving you hints without you noticing them? You can’t believe you’ve been that oblivious to Taehyung’s attraction toward you.

A familiar high pitched beep announces the receiving of a message to Taehyung’s watch.

‘Oh, right.’ He glances at it, glides a fingertip across its tiny screen. ‘The good news,’ he says with a smile. ‘They’ve figured a way to go back to our original present.’

You’re lucky that your employer had decided to become a scientist in this version too. Otherwise, who knows, maybe you’d have been doomed to stay here with those dinosaurs, nearly flying cars, old cameras, and only one house for you and Taehyung to live in, which hmm… maybe wouldn’t even have been that bad?

‘He transferred the fixed updates into the watch.’ Taehyung’s hand reaches out over the table.

The first rule of time travel: you must be touching the person possessing the watch, if you want to travel with them.

You take his hand without a second thought.

Taehyung’s finger hovers above the watch as his grin evokes the flutter of your heart. His tone is dripping with content when he speaks. ‘Once we’re back, we’ll talk about us more.’

 <3

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#armiesnet #kwriterskollection #kim taehyung #taehyung fluff #bts fanfiction #bangtan fic #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #taehyung drabble #bts requests #taehyung scenarios #bts time travel au #bts friends to lovers au

[noplotnostory]

Food for Thought

Monster SOULs and Possible Traits: Part Two

This Food for Thought will be covering my personal theories on what monsters might have which primary SOUL traits. This is operating under the assumption that monster SOULs both have distinct primary traits and that they would be the same primary traits that human SOULs have--which I am by no means certain of--and will only cover the few specific monsters I feel fairly confident in my assessment of (SOUL-trait-wise, at least). More facts and theories concerning monster SOULs and their possible traits--including whether or not they even have primary traits the way human SOULs do--can be found in Part One.

Toriel - Integrity

If there’s one thing the entire UnderTale Fandom can agree on, it’s that Sans is a fairly observant individual who tends to know more about what’s going on around him than pretty much anyone else Underground. So when he says that someone “has an integrity you just can’t say ‘no’ to”, it‘s probably fair to consider that a hint. Especially when everything about that "someone"s history and interactions feels very Integrity-based.

I’ve seen people identify Toriel’s primary SOUL trait as Perseverance, Patience or Kindness a few times, but I don’t really think any of those work. Not as her primary trait, at least.

The thing is, Toriel left Asgore because of her personal moral standards. That’s...pretty much Integrity in a nutshell. Now her history after that point and behavior in the Ruins clearly show an aptitude for Perseverance and Patience as well...but if either of those were her primary trait, it seems more likely that she would stay and try to fix Asgore’s mess from inside the capitol.

Like Perseverance and Patience, Toriel’s Kindness is an undeniable facet of her character, one that we even know was actively demonstrated before she left Asgore as well as after. Toriel is a nurturing, protective and loving individual whose pie is the strongest healing item in the entire game (implying an aptitude for green magic, if the creation of magic food follows similar rules to the creation of magic attacks). And she is a brutally practical and efficient woman who was known for making the difficult decisions for her people as Queen (even firing Alphys after leaving the Ruins and hearing what the Royal Scientist had done) and has a tendency to hold grudges against people who she feels have neglected or abused their station. Specifically her ex-husband who she berates not only for killing children, but being too cowardly or soft-hearted to expedite the process for the sake of their people.

That’s...not Kindness. It doesn’t necessarily make her cruel, but it indisputably displays the unwavering convictions that truly defines Integrity above all else.

Undyne - Kindness

Undyne is a Determined and Brave monster with a battle theme titled “Spear of Justice”. All of these are assets that have undoubtedly served her well as the Captain of the Royal Guard. But, above all else, she’s Kind.

First things first, Determination...is not a SOUL trait.

Click the link.

Read the thing.

Got it?

Ok, moving on.

Bravery is a necessity for Undyne’s line of work. As a member of the Royal Guard, Undyne was tasked with maintaining order in the monster kingdom, capturing humans for the use of their SOULs and--presumably--being prepared to wage war against humankind upon the removal of the barrier. When humans fell and caused panic throughout the Underground, it was Undyne’s duty to put her own life on the line to preserve those of civilian monsters.

Yet, in her armorless “faux battle” after allowing the Fallen Human to live and being left to bond with them by an eager Papyrus, she actually has more DEF than in her real, to-the-death (as far as she knew) battle. Now, if DEF stands for DEsire to Fight (I swear, I read that theory somewhere long before starting this blog, but I can’t find a link or fic anywhere and I’d love it if someone could tell me where I saw this from!) then Undyne is more interested in the “faux battle” than the real one. It’s only one DEF point, but other monsters in the game definitely lose those when they decide that they don’t want to fight anymore, and considering the fact that Undyne is bearing the fate of the entire Underground on her shoulders during the actual battle (regardless of if the Fallen Human is Pacifist, Neutral or Genocidal at that point), she has a lot of reason to fight to win. And in a Genocide Route, she is Determined enough to keep fighting after losing all her HP because all of monsterkind is counting on her and she refuses to let them down. But she has more DEF in the “faux battle”. Which means, regardless of how much she wants to win, regardless of how much she wants to keep everyone safe, regardless of how much she wants to eliminate this proficient threat who has murdered her best friend and subordinates, she does not want to fight as much as she does in the “faux battle”. Her heart’s just not in it as much as it would be for a spar between friends. She feels that she needs to protect and avenge, but the key word is “need”. Not “want”.

There’s another moment that probably isn’t the strongest evidence, but I personally feel like it fits, so I’m going to add it anyways: Jumping off the cliff to save Monster Kid lowers Undyne’s HP. If HP stands for HOPE and has to do with a SOUL’s positive emotions as well as it’s ability to sustain damage (I actually do have a link for this one! :D I found this definition in Chapter 7 of somnivagrantTraviatus’s Sweeter than Honey on AO3!), then witnessing the Fallen Human either attack or abandon an actual child dealt a serious emotional blow. Especially since Undyne had admired humans so much after watching anime with Alphys and really had to work hard to convince herself that humans were the depraved and unrepentant enemy of all monsterkind...and that just made it a little easier (Toby Fox has mentioned wanting her armor to be cracked as well, but since intent is such an important part of how monsters take damage, I’m inclined to believe that whatever might have damaged Undyne’s armor would not have impacted her HP the same way).

As for Justice, while a lot of Undyne’s actions as the Captain of the Royal Guard can be interpreted as both Justice and Kindness, whenever she displays a preference for one over the other, Kindness wins. She’s hesitant to kill the human in front of Monster Kid and while explaining the quirks of her magic and how to combat it makes sense for a friendly spar, it’s not a particularly effective way to execute a possibly deadly and time-sensitive threat to the kingdom.

Also, I feel the need to point out that the song “Spear of Justice” does not play in Genocide Route battles. Since the name of the song is a clear homage to her icon--Gerson, the Hammer of Justice--who she claims had fought against humans in the War that led to monsterkind’s imprisonment, one would think that such a tribute would be fitting for a life-or-death battle against a human who had systematically exterminated every monster they’ve come across since falling into the Underground. But apparently Undyne doesn’t. Whatever it was about Gerson and his reputation that inspired Undyne to join the Royal Guard, apparently that’s not what she was thinking about when going toe-to-toe with a genocidal human. It wasn’t about punishment or serving Justice. It was about saving everyone that was left. A community that she has loved and served and known all her life and she was willing to die to protect them.

That’s...actually why my posts regarding her are tagged “Undyne the Unpredictable”. There’s a certain fluidity that comes with Kindness. Much like Asgore is a “big fluffy pushover” who also happens to be impulsive enough to make a very poorly-thought-out proclamation of war in the throes of grief, Undyne is the sort of person to guard you with her life after a cooking session or use her spears to make you a shish kebab for being a possible threat to monsterkind. It all depends on how she perceives the situation and the people involved.

(And no, I’m not saying that Asgore’s primary trait is Kindness. I’m only saying that he is emotionally-driven. I don’t have a confident conclusion on what his primary trait would be.)

Gerson - Justice

The Hammer of Justice.

Yeah.

He’s probably the easiest monster to assign a primary SOUL trait to despite never fighting the Fallen Human in-game, but let’s go ahead and look at some supporting evidence.

A prevalent retired hero to monsterkind, an apparent veteran of the War of Monsters and Humans and one of the major influences in Undyne’s life, Gerson doesn’t seem like the type to be excessively friendly with the species that trapped him and his people under Mt. Ebott. He claims to have distrusted Chara when the first Fallen Human was still alive and being raised by the royal family and was of the opinion that breaking the barrier and returning to the surface would result in the genocide of all monsters after how thoroughly humanity had defeated them.

Yet, he doesn’t appear to have any vendetta against the Fallen Human who explores the Underground in the events of UnderTale in any route other than Genocide. In Neutral and Pacifist Routes, he even shares information on monster iconography, gives tips on where to sell items, warns the Fallen Human that Undyne is looking for them and ends his conversations with a: “Be careful out there, kid!”

In the Genocide Route, Gerson claims that he was never a hero, but still attempts to stall the Fallen Human so that other monsters could evacuate. In a way, he warns the Fallen Human of Undyne in all routes, but in Genocide he is far more vague and acerbic about it, not mentioning her by name and sounding very certain that she would defeat the Fallen Human. He only laughs once in Genocide Route conversations, and the context implies that it’s not exactly a joyful or good-humored one, unlike in other routes.

I suppose other traits could be ascribed to these various instances and facts, but if you put it all together, it creates an image of someone who strives to protect others even in his old age, but makes a point of not mistreating or prejudging people who have not definitively earned his ire, regardless of past experiences with their species. Despite having every reason to be wary of humanity as a whole, he values Justice regardless of species.

#Food for Thought #SOUL Talk #No Multiverse No AUs #Toriel #Undyne #Undyne the Undying #Undyne the Unpredictable #Gerson #The Hammer of Justice #UnderTale #UnderTale Fandom

[wow-very-emo-such-bands]

Reason why i do not like K-Pop

I know already, as i am currently writing this, that no matter what, a lot of K-Pop fans, Saesengs and lovers of Kpop in general will critizes and hate me for this, and i will definitly lose a bunch of followers, whether they actually read this post or not.

But for those of you who decide to stay and hear me out, thanks alot.

Now first of all it‘s mostly cuz the music genre is simply not for me. By that I don‘t referr to the fact that the songs are in korean, so everyone who is about to call me a racist for not liking K-Pop songs, can sit down again. Cuz really i couldn‘t care less about in what language the songs are in. My problem isn‘t the language in which the lyrics are written, but their meaning once you translate them. Most of the lyrics are meaningless, bland and repetative. Most of the K-pop songs i’ve kinda enjoyed due to a catchy melody, every time i went to look up a translation on the internet it turned out that the song was always just about vanity, needing to be the best or it was a love song even cheesier than early Beatles songs, and the Beatles used the word love 613 times. So that’s saying quiet alot in my opinion. Basically K-pop is in that case identical to western pop songs: Whenyou‘ve heard one, you‘ve basically heard them all.

But in the end everyone is entitled to love the kind of music and lyrical nonsense they want to.

But anyway up to the second reason why I will most likely never get into K-Pop is the toxicity of the fandom. I know this has been discussed and talked about a million times by now that i am basically just beating a dead horse, and altho the major toxic part of the fandom is mearly a vocal minority, it‘s unfortunatly avocal minority equipped with megaphones.

From Shipping Wars and the infamous Fandom wars between EXO and BTS to straight up trying to murder an idol, the K-Pop fandom really had seen it all.

Because there is so much to material and incidents i could cover about this point, i will try to keep it only 6 examples in order to show you what I‘m saying.

The major reason’s and incidents about the EXO vs BTS Fandom War: •The Exo-L‘s (the EXO fanbase) tried to accuse BTS falsely of plagerism, crushing their success just because they were afraid that BTS would gain more popularity than EXO after the release of BTS‘s latest album and the EXO-L‘s even going as far as making the A.R.M.Y (the BTS fandom) look bad by creating fake A.R.M.Y accounts and behaving utterly obnoxious, to make the oublic believe every BTS fan behaves like a moron to say the very least. •Actual A.R.M.Y members sending hate, immature insults and even death treaths to people who like EXO or other K-Pop or even western Bands more than BTS, regardless of wether they said bad stuff against BTS or simply didn‘t enjoy the music cuz it wasn‘t their cup of tea.

the A.R.M.Y attacking the group Stray Kids (a K-Pop band that didn‘t even had it‘s debut at the time) and accusing of plagerism and trying to sabotage them for minor similarities in the trailer to one of their songs to BTS.

Saesang fans, harassing, stalking their idols to their home, one even stealing some of their urine from the toilet and trying to sell it on ebay, another one writing a letter to one of their idols with their menstruation blood and all around behaving like their idols/bias/oppa belongs to them. I experienced the latter one actually first hand with a Koreaboo friend of mine nearly beating another girl up for dearing to like "their bias“ and talking about how "she was totally going to marry him one day“. And i‘m unfortunatly not talking about the ones who say those things as a joke. Now i know that certain Stans of western bands harass their idols too, for example Brendon Urie from Panic! At the disco didn‘t feel safe anymore in his old house after dozen of fans stalked him in his own home, yet no bandom that i know about, has fans as obsessive as the K-Pop Saseng and Koreaboo fans

Anti-fans, now this is like the polar opposite of the Saesang and Koreboo fans. While the ones are so obsessed with an idol that they won‘t stop at anything to be near them, Anti-Fans hate a certain idol so much that they won‘t stop at anything to get rid of said idol. For example did those anti fans scream racisl slurrs at some K-Pop idols for example if they had chinese or japanese ancestors or if one of their parents wasn’t korean or asian. There was also an incident where a dozen of people signed a petition to force an idol into suicide, others even tried to straight up murder some Idols by putting dangerous poison in their food or planning on bringing shotguns and other weapons to their concerts in order to kill them with them, posting their plans on social media like twitter and getting cheered on and supported by other antis. Some of these so called Anti fans even cheered and had basically an online party after Kim Jong-Hyun, a member of SHINee, comitted suicide last year and made fun of both the idols himself and his fans

Cultural apropiation is unfortunatly quiet the problem in, mostly the wester part of the K-Pop fandom. People posting videos, pictures and text posts showing how they eat traditional Korean dishes like Kimshi or just simply eat noodles out of a bowl (sometimes still while using a fork) and than say how korean they are or how they brag about being able to speak fluent korean when they can mostly say 3 words. Most of those people are caucasian teenage girls who think from speaking a few words and knowing one or two things about korea, imidiatly makes them Asian and Korean when they still have the legal nationality of a western country and are caucasian. Your ethnicity is not something you can change like a hairstyle. It‘s part of your DNA and is unfortunatly a part of you that you are stuck with forever. Just like the Weaboos in the Anime comunity, Koreaboos are simply people who need to feel special and superior to others by behaving like they know more about korea than anyone else when in reality all their knowledge about Korea is based on cheesy K-Pop songs that a lot of times weren‘t even written by korean people, but more about that later

6. This one is more of a personal experience which is basically the reason why i don‘t ever want explore or even becom part of the K-Pop fandom. Basically i have this BTS fangirl in my Arts and Crafts Classes and one day while we were working on our projects, she started ralking to me and asked me random questions about K-Pop bands, both BTS and Bands that I have never even heard off. She asked stuff like : "Who is your bias? Don‘t you agree that Rapmonster looks so hot! Korean boys are way hotter than white boys! Why are you dating a white boy? Like I would never date a white guy. What do you think of this ship and that ship? Don‘t tell me you ship that other one???“ and i explained to her calmly that i‘m not a K-Pop fan and simply do not care for it, cuz it‘s not my cup of tea. Than she started going absolutly crazy, calling me a racist even tho i explained to her that my problem with K-Pop is the meaning of the lyrics and most of the melodies and rythms, not the fact that it‘s from Asia, but she refused to listen and started telling everyone in our class i was a homophobic (note: I am actually bisexual) racist and that i triggered her. And besides the obvious fact that triggering someone doesn‘t mean that you disagree with somebody else, i guess i don‘t have to do further explaination.

Thirdly ,and I know I will definitly get hate for this, K-Pop artists in my opinion got their fame basically like a present, they didn‘t work for it like other bands and artists have to. Most Western bands, like Twenty one Pilots, All Time Low and even the Beatles started off as nobodies. They started off as small garage bands, often with an audience of only a few people before getting discovered bypure chance and signed by a record label and even then they mostly had to work for their fame themselves. Twenty one pilots was signed to a record label in 2012, they had already produced 2 albums (Self titled and Regional at best) in Tyler‘s basement before that even happened and even after Fueled by Ramen signed them because they recognized their talent but didn‘t really push them much. It took until 2015 (the band exists since 2009) that they hit mainstream popularity with their Album Blurryface. Tyler Joseph, the front man of Twenty one pilots, wrote all the lyrics and melodies by himself for that album. The Beatles started off as the little unkown band, playing in the cave bar (a pub in liverpool) and had already written some of their most well known songs like she loves you and Roll over Beethoven at the time. They were about to give up on their dreams of ever becoming famous before Brian Eppstein discovered them after years of already having played in that Pub and signed them to their label. And even then it wasn’t the record itself ehich made the Beatles famous, but their talents and those world famous lyrics written by them once again on their owny K-Pop Idols do not have to work themselves up to the top through hard work and dedication with little to know knowledge about wether or not their dream will ever come trough. They simply go to an Agency which after 2 years of training, makes them famous. Though i can‘t say that most K-Pop idols are talentless when it comes to their voices and dance moves, it still doesn‘t change the fact that they get fame as a gift from their record labels while Idols from other countries (i‘m not just talking about western bands) have to climb the steps to the top themselves. K-Pop idols get put in an elevator by their record label which transports them to the top. And most of all K-Pop idols don‘t write any of the lyrics of their songs by themselves themselves, which in defence of the K-Pop Idols, isn‘t really their fault, yet still pretty unfair towards foreign bands in my opinion.

And my last and most of all biggest reason why i do not like and support K-Pop is because of the K-Pop industry.

I know the western music industry isn‘t made out of honey, rainbows and butterflies either but compared to what the K-Pop Industry does to its idols should be illegal since they basically take away all of the idols‘s human rights, treating them more as products which can be sold like Coca Cola, rather than actual human beings; Which is also why some people refer to the contract between an idol and its label to a "slavery contract“ because once that contract is signed, the label literally owns the idol. Let’s start with the minor examples to the bigger issues to begin with:

Most if not all K-Pop labels forbid their idols to fall in love with someone, so that the fans fantasies of being together with their Idols won‘t be crushed. There was even a case in which a female K-Pop idol had to shave off all of her hair and give a public apology for spending the night with her boyfriend.

Unlike idols in western countries, who, after becoming rather famous, earn like a million dollars and can live in a big luxerious mansion, K-pop idols usually only get a very little to basically no money from their record label, even members of some of the most successful K-Pop bands are as broke as a bunch of college students, their money often just being enough so the whole band can share one meal and the idols are also often forced by their record label to live together in small cramped appartments, as near to their record label as possible so that record label can control them even better. So just imagine for a moment having to live with up to 6 to 12 people in a small 1-3 room appartent after having spent all day working and training with said people. I guess i don‘t have to say that this could lead to severe stress, mental health problems and even tensions between the bandmembers.

The record label takes away all of the Idols individuality and creativity and the right to express themselves. Like mentioned before, the majority of K-Pop idols don‘t write their songs by themselves. And most of the time it‘s not even because of them having no ideas or being uninspired but instead it‘s once again the K-Pop industrie, forbidding it to them. So instead of letting the idols creat their own original music, most of their songs are being written by Martin Sandberg, mostly known as Max Martin, a swedish song writer who writes most of the modern Pop songs, both in korea and western countries, that we know today. He is the composer of Hit me baby one more time and i kissed a girl and so many more. And him also being one of the major writers for K-Pop songs just shows how and why just like for western pop music, the rule "once you‘ve heard one, you‘ve heard them all“ also applies to K-pop unfortunatly.

Anorexia and beauty surgery. The K-Pop industrie wants everything and really everything to be perfect about their products- i mean idols. So in most cases they highly recommand if not even force the idols to get a plastic surgery, often around the nose, and even undergoing the so called V-Line operation in order to obtain a face like an anime doll, by first breaking the jaw completly and then reassembling it and given the fact that the V-Line operation is a very risky procedure and usually is done in case that teethlines are misarebged and need to be corrected and not in order to become more beautiful. K-Pop idols are also forced to be as thin as possible, to the point where it‘s almost anorexic. Most of them eat only one meal a day or only eat raw food like fruits and vegetables in order to stay thin. Others like the boygroup TVXQ who the week before their debut, only consumed water and nothing else. So if anyone wants to tell me that the diets that the industry is forcing on their idols is healthy, than i have to tell them that they are just utterly dilusional and nothing else.

Some companies and labels even forbid their idols in their contract to see their friends and families for years, isolating and keeping them trapped almost enterily so the only people they can talk to are the people working for their label and the other members of their group.

Prostitution. Yes you’ve heard me right. The record labels literally force their idols to straight up prostitution. Luckily just like in Hollywood with the #Metoo movement, korean people start to do something against this problem in the K-Pop industrie, but it‘s unfortunatly still heavily present.

I mentioned before that before K-Pop stars even start their debut as a band they have to train for about 2 years, and even after their debut and even after becoming famous their record label forces them to train and practice every day. Now first this sound that wierd right? Cuz foreign idols have to do that too. But oh boy does the K-Pop industrie take this to a whole new level. Because of them K-Pop idols often have to train to the point where they literally faint from exhaustion. An average work day for K-Pop stars lasts +/- 20 hours each day. Many of them needed to be taken to the hospital from over exhaustion to the point where it‘s almost seen as normal. A K-Pop idol by the name of Crystall even is forced to work so hard and faints so often even on stage from exhaustion that it‘s becoe their trademark in a sick way.

Beside the long working hours, K-Pop idols are forced to perfection like machines. Thus once again back to my point that the industrie sees them as mere products that can be produced in mass, rather than treating them as humans. There are many cases of abuse from the trainers to the K-Pop idols they‘re teaching. If they get one note or one dance move wrong thdy are imidiatly hit and slapped, causing some of them to even break down crying.

So to wrap it all up i guess you could say that my biggest problem with K-pop is how the industrie and even the fans treat their idols (and other people too obviously) instead of the music itself. Because even though i do not care for K-Pop music i would have never done this post if it were for the songs alone because music tastes are different from person to person. But i simply will not support K-Pop until at the very least the K-Pop industrie starts to treat their idols like actual human beings, giving them the right to express themselves and do their own thing, because i am sure if it weren‘t for the fact that most K-Pop songs are written by the exact same dude and the idols could write them themselves, we would get awesome songs with beautiful lyrics and melodies.

Bibliographie:

https://youtu.be/ClVqqJ3Peuc

https://www.sbs.com.au/popasia/blog/2017/12/14/dark-side-k-pop-according-former-k-pop-idol

https://www.google.lu/amp/s/aminoapps.com/c/k-pop/amp/blog/the-real-dark-side-of-kpop/3VIB_ugQqkW484YnV1Y2gbrJDabz3o

https://youtu.be/URZ1-Pmi9JY

https://youtu.be/g_3a-w0JqIg

https://www.thestar.com.my/news/regional/2017/12/21/star-suicide-highlights-dark-side-of-the-kpop-dream/

[roslinadama-sinequanon]

Major Crimes Re-Watch-D.O.A.

So, yes there was a case but you won’t read much about that in this synopsis. There was too much going on with the Sharon and Jack dynamic and the case totally paled by comparison. Looking back on these Jack episodes makes it even more apparent why Sharon needed to take things so slow with Andy and why it took her so long to trust in what they had. Another thing that I hadn’t thought of before is the financial aspect of things. In this episode Sharon talks about how Jack never helped her financially, never paid child support, didn’t help pay for their kids college and that he totally messed up their credit and it took her years to get untangled from his bad debt. That made me realize what a really huge step it was for her to agree to buy a house with Andy. It really attests to the depth of her feelings for him and her complete trust in him, that she was willing to combine her finances with his to buy the house even before they were married. Considering the writers of MC don’t focus at all on how Sharon and Andy really feel we have to kind of work that all out in our own heads.

“There's someone in the house"

The only time in FIVE YEARS that we got to see Sharon Raydor in bed and the scene was with...guess whom? Surprise, surprise...RUSTY. 'Nuff said. Right from the get go we see that although Sharon and Jack are technically still married, there is definitely no longer any type of physical relationship. Jack went directly to the spare room and upon finding it locked went to the kitchen. He did not go to Sharon's bedroom nor try to wake her. 

“Jack, what are you doing here?"

Sharon is so not pleased to see him. The minute she heard his voice answering the phone, she gets a look of disgust. Also, instead of just confronting him, she kicks the refrigerator in to scare him...hard…she's pissed...and holds her gun on him--even though she knew it was him. It gives the viewers immediate insight into their relationship and it‘s definitely a “Fasten your seatbelts it‘s gonna be a bumpy ride“ moment.

"Jack what are you doing here at 3:00am without calling me."

At first, I thought this was just typical Jack behavior and that Sharon allowed him to come and go at will, but that obviously is NOT the case. She is totally ticked off that he just showed up and presumed to make himself at home without having called her for permission.

Showing up in the middle of the night like this is incredibly rude. He hasn’t been in contact with Sharon in over five years and yet he obviously was not concerned that he might be walking in on anything with Sharon and another man, which is also telling of their relationship. However, if he'd waited another two years he might have walked in on Sharon in bed with Andy--now wouldn't that have been a great scene? Anyway, I think his decision to just show up wasn’t just an oblivious lack of consideration. It was deliberate. Jack is desperate and he knows if he called Sharon to ask if he could stay with her, she probably would have said no. Their kids are no longer living with her and she has no reason to put him up. By just showing up, he knows it will be harder for her to send him away and it will give him a better chance to charm and manipulate her into letting him stay. Squatter’s rights and all.

"Good old Jack Raydor, you know it was a shame when he moved to Vegas. What? I liked him."

Oh my, hard to believe now that there was ever a time that Andy liked Jack. But I can see it. I am NOT a fan of Jack Raydor's but I can see where he would be a fun guy to hang out with. It sounds like maybe way back when he and Andy might have hung out at the same bar a few times and shared a few drinks and a few "war stories" Andy is also a fun guy and he likes to tell stories too, though I never feel like Andy is trying to put on a show the way Jack always seems to be doing.  Of course, now that Andy is in love with Sharon, knows the real history of Jack and has also gotten to see the dark, selfish, nasty side of the man through his dealings with Major Crimes, he can't stand the guy. I love the Andy/Jack testosterone laced scenes. Provenza on the other hand has always seen right through Jack's bullshit and never liked him.

“Sharon, who the hell is this?”

“You took the words right out of my mouth young fella'“

I can’t help but wonder what Jack's first thought was upon seeing a young teenage boy in his pajamas at Sharon's at 3:00am LOL. Also, really Rusty? Sharon had a gun and you thought you needed a lamp. It was a sweet gesture though.

“What are you moving in or something?”

“No...NO.”

Nope, he's not welcome. Jack was definitely right to make the sneak attack.Still cannot figure out why Jack goes on about his soymilk, almond milk and going gluten free. Is he trying to show Sharon he’s trying to make healthier decisions? If so, that’s another Andy parallel.

“You can stay on the couch for the 2 days that I usually give you.” Sharon and her rules. She has very clear boundaries with Jack. It sounds like whenever he deigned to show up she allowed him 2 days at her home to visit with the kids and then he had to move on. So, obviously this is not the first time he’s shown up hoping to overstay his welcome.

“Jack looks much less stressed than the last time I saw him. Getting back on the court appointed list should help give him a fresh start.”

“For the 100th time.”

“Not a terrific husband I guess. But lots of natural charm.”

“None of which he wasted on raising his children and oddly enough charm doesn't pay for college.”

Jack being around is definitely throwing Sharon. The entire time she's in talking to Taylor she keeps looking out at Jack who is out putting on a show for her colleagues and Rusty. What makes this conversation interesting is that, first of all, she's having it with Taylor and she seems perfectly comfortable discussing her personal life and the details of her marriage with him so it‘s pretty apparent that they all (Taylor, Provenza, Andy, maybe Tao) know how Jack comes and goes from her life. It also shows us that Sharon has given Jack dozens of chances to change his life and he has screwed them up every time and that he did not help raise his children nor offer any financial help to her. You can also tell that while she'd enabled him before, as of right now she is just simply done with him Also, Taylor says "getting back on the court appointed list" so this is not the first time Jack has had to resort to this to try to reclaim his law career and make a fresh start. Lastly, this is the scene where they screwed up and showed Mary wearing her own glasses rather than Sharon's as she tries to get Rusty's attention. I gotta say, I like Sharon's glasses, but I like Mary’s better. In that moment, her tapping on the window to get Rusty’s attention we can see that Sharon is worried about Rusty being sucked in by Jack’s charm. She knows what Jack is all about and knows that whatever kind of friendship might form between them, Jack will have no qualms walking away and she does not want to see Rusty get hurt, hence, why she keeps watching Jack and why she tries to get Rusty's attention to get him away from Jack.

“I don't mind sleeping on the couch if Jack wants my bed. It's closer to the TV.”

“It's closer to the front door which is why Jack is going to stay exactly where he is. I don’t want him getting too comfortable.”

“What’s the deal between you two, why are you still married?”“Well there are financial issues, there are religious issues and there are some things I can't explain and none of it is any of y

The first time I watched this episode my assumption was that the “something I can’t explain” applied to Sharon’s feelings for Jack. And I’m sure there was some of that. But a year later when Sharon asks Jack for the divorce and he tells her that if she’d really wanted a divorce she would have done it years ago, she tells him that the time that she needed a ring on her finger for her career is over. So, that brings a whole new light to the “things I can’t explain.” I’m sure in the early years Sharon went through a lot of sexual harassment--another reason to check off in her decision to join the PSB and clean the department up.

“Rusty do not get attached to Jack. He only stays as long as it takes to get what he wants.”

Sharon is very world-weary at this point. She's been through it herself, has been through her with her two children and she doesn't want Rusty to have to go through it too. By offering to give Jack the couch Sharon can see that Rusty is already being seduced by Jack.

“Take a good long look in the mirror Susan because the only person you're fooling is you.”

I always love watching Andy with the addicts. He is no nonsense with them and doesn’t cut them any slack but is also always trying to get them to see the light and face their problems. I would love to see him with some of the guys he's sponsored

. “A few years ago I had this big case, huge payday, 200 grand. You know what I did with it? I played three months in poker tournaments.”

“Three months of poker tournaments? How much did you win?”

“Ohhhhhh....I didn't. But I was so close.”

The story of Jack's life. The bastard won 200,000 in a legitimate court case and instead of paying Sharon back child support or giving his kids money for college, he pissed it all away playing poker. The sad thing is that Rusty is impressed by this. It's no wonder Sharon does not want Rusty falling under Jack's influence and it's probably a good thing that Jack was an absentee parent to Emily and Ricky. They were much better off with just Sharon to guide them.

“In 30 years I've never seen you put a toothpick in your mouth.” At first, I thought that line was thrown in just to show how long Jack has known Sharon, however, as @milquetoast-on-acid pointed out; it was probably more like foreshadowing for Andy becoming a part of Sharon’s life. Andy often had a toothpick in his mouth on TC so evidently she’s had toothpicks in her cupboard all these years just waiting for Andy to come along and use them :-)

“Are you gambling?”

and

“Rusty are you finished studying?

Sharon as the killjoy--- I think this is often how Jack really sees Sharon--a few seasons later he makes the comment “who would show up here sober”. Sharon is Jack’s conscience and she is becoming Rusty’s conscience. She is the responsible one and she is also desperately trying to keep Rusty from getting too involved with Jack. But Rusty is starved for affection and here is Jack with all kinds of time on his hands who is able to focus all his attention on getting into Rusty’s good graces. Jack isn’t stupid; he’s a master manipulator who has been manipulating Sharon for years. He knows her Achilles heel is her children (The only reason Sharon allows him to stay past his allotted time is because he caves in to her blackmail and calls Ricky and Emily) and right away he can see that she views Rusty as one of her children. Since he does not have a relationship with his own children, Rusty is the best bet. And for Rusty, living under Mom’s rules, Jack is a breath of fresh air. Jack is the one who plays upon Rusty’s worst instincts and makes them okay, whereas Sharon is always steering him do the right thing and making him feel bad when he does not. The same can be said for Rusty’s two  father figures. Andy and Provenza are more parental figures while Jack is like the misfit black sheep uncle who returns to wreak havoc. He is fun and doesn’t play by the rules and he seems to enjoy spending time with Rusty, of course Rusty is seduced. “That's easy; Jack can see your cards reflected in those ridiculous sunglasses he probably talked you into wearing.”

“Oh my god you had me fooled the entire time.”

“That's his specialty.”

Again, Sharon is trying to keep Rusty from falling under Jack's spell, but instead of heeding her warning or being pissed at Jack for cheating he’s just impressed with Jack’s cunning and thinks he’s cool.

 “Rusty it's after 10.  I don't want to hear any complaining.”

Again, we have the Sharon and Jack as polar opposites, Sharon wanting Rusty to do what's good for him, to follow the rules she's laid out etc whereas Jack is all about fun and not caring about the fact that Rusty has school the next day. Sometimes opposites work--in the case of Sharon and Andy who balance each other out--and other times the behavior is so opposite that it grates and creates a division as between Sharon and Jack. However, at this point Jack is still treading very lightly and does back Sharon up.

“I guess it's your place.”

Sharon definitely bought the condo on her own. My head canon says they originally  had a house which she sold after Ricky went off to college, which is when she bought her condo, hence, why Jack has no leverage with her when it comes to staying there. “We agreed on two nights, this is the second night.”“I could go pick up the kid tomorrow at school.I"m free.”

The first time I watched the Jack episodes I thought he seemed like an okay guy--it seemed like he was being kind to Rusty and was trying to help out. It was only later that I realized he was totally using Rusty to butter Sharon up so he could eventually get her to co-sign for his apartment--though I’m sure he did enjoy spending time with Rusty. Having never been burned by him like the rest of the family, Rusty looks at Jack with admiration and Jack feeds off that

. "What’s the matter?"

Jack groans pretending to be hurt and even in this moment, you can hear the suspicion in Sharon's voice when she asks him that question. This is a woman who has really been burned by this guy. There is not one iota of trust left her when it comes to him. Love the steely glare Sharon gives Jack when he gets too close. She might be an enabler, but she does have very definite boundaries with him and hanky panky is certainly out of the question. She’s moved on even though it’s pretty apparent that Jack hasn’t.

“My apologies for interfering. I just feel kind of sorry for the kid.”

Oops, wrong thing to say. The minute he says this you see Sharon's face just freeze.  He feels sorry for Rusty but never felt sorry for his own biological children?

“Can I get ya a blanket you look cold.

”“Maybe that's because you've spent more time with Rusty in the past 2 days than you have with our own kids in the last five years.”

“Don't start Sharon. I can't change the past; I can only try to do better.”

This is a conversation they’ve evidently had hundreds of times. Sadly, this is all lip service with Jack. He doesn’t really care about doing better.

“A man can change his face, he can change his name, but changing his nature is very hard.”

Speaking from experience, she's talking  as much about Jack as she is about Jim, the suspect. She’s realized that no matter how many times Jack says he’s going to change, how many times he thinks he’s going to change he simply cannot change who he is who he is.

“If you completely changed, why are you back in another police station? Being arrested for first degree murder.”

Again, the parallel between Jim the suspect and Jack. Jack is right back where he started, trying yet again to get his life back on track, mooching off Sharon and avoiding his children.

Andy is still eating French fries at this point.

“So this is what this drive through is really all about? You want me to co -sign for an apartment.”

“Would you?”

“Absolutely not. I spent years getting untangled from your finances, Jack; I'm not going back there.

This is what Sharon has been waiting for. From the moment Jack arrived, she knew he wanted something from her and now she knows what it is. We also now find out that not only did Jack not give her child support or help her financially he actually  screwed her over messing up her credit and putting her in debt. For someone who did something like that, it's hard to believe that he has the nerve to come back and ask her for help like this. When these episodes first aired, I thought Jack was a rather charming irresponsible lout. Now watching it again, he really comes off as rather embarrassingly weak and pathetic.  How can he not feel any shame at having to beg his wife and play the "poor me card" for help? I was embarrassed for him.

“I guess I'll have to call my brother.”

“Oh my god why do I always end up feeling sorry for you.”

Probably because contrary to her former image, she has such a compassionate heart and likes to help people. And maybe because she can still remember the Jack she originally fell in love with, and there are still a few sparks of him in the pathetic man he has become.

“I've had to negotiate with her my entire adult life.”

The first indication we have that he and Sharon married very young.

“Calling your kids, why is that a problem?

”“Sometimes Rusty you let down the people you love and you don’t know how to start over again, isn't that true Jack?”

“The kids don't want to talk to me.”

“You’re right, they don't want to talk you, but they NEED to talk to you and they will. NOW. Otherwise the Best Western is right down the street.”

This is something very important to Sharon; you can hear her voice start to break with emotion when she says they need to talk to him. Sharon may have been an enabler but she is no pushover. Rusty gets the first inkling into who Jack really is and that maybe there is a reason that Sharon is so wary of him. And for the first time we see real genuine emotion in Jack. When he says the kids don't want to talk to him, there are real tears in his eyes. He knows how badly he has messed up, so badly his kids don't want anything to do with him and if it wasn't for Sharon that's the way it would probably still be today. S As for Sharon she's frustrated with having Jack around; worried about how he's affecting Rusty, yet, if she can blackmail him into calling their kids she'll deal with all that fallout. She is not doing it for Jack; she is doing it for her kids. She wants them to have some kind of a relationship with their father, even if it comes from him being forced into it. And this is such a HUGE difference between Jack and Andy. Andy is willing to do whatever it takes to work on his relationship with his kids, and it is genuine and comes from the heart--not from being blackmailed. I’m thinking that some of the emotions left over from the Jack visit are what spurs Sharon on to help Andy in his quest to be more involved in his daughter’s life and to accompany him to Nicole’s wedding. She can see how much Andy is hurting and how badly he wants to repair things and I’m sure she wishes that Jack felt for Emily just a touch of what Andy feels for Nicole. I think seeing how emotionally invested Andy is truly touches Sharon and it is the start of her opening her heart to him. 

“You know she's going to call them back to see what you said.”“Of course will, but that's partly because she's still crazy about me.”

Oh the look Rusty gives him, like "are you nuts" LOL. I really think that it is the other way around. I think that despite everything Jack is still crazy about Sharon. I don't think that Sharon is still crazy about Jack. I think she still cares about Jack  and that she still loves him, but is no longer “in love” with him and that for her, being in a relationship with him again is out of the question whereas I think Jack would love to slip right back into her bed and start playing hubby again. But it wouldn‘t last. He can‘t live the way Sharon lives. I saw a comment somewhere about Jack still wearing his wedding ring, while Sharon doesn’t. To be honest, I don’t think Jack wears that ring out of any attachment to his marriage. I think it all comes down to manipulation with him. I doubt he had that wedding ring on when he lived in Vegas, however, he puts it on when he comes home to Sharon because he wants her to help him, wants her to still see him as her husband, wants her to think he still sees them as a married couple.  It’s funny but people often talk about Sharon having not been able to move on, but I don’t agree. Sharon has moved on. She’s made a great life for herself without him, he’s the one who keeps running back to her–and she’s not particularly pleased about that. She has very clear boundaries with him and is really more focused on his relationship or lack thereof with their children. 

“Richard William Raydor.

Right away, the genuine Jack is gone and "show Jack" is back on. He's putting on an act for Ricky and for Sharon and that is very sad. Throughout this episode it feels like Jack is always putting on a show. I get the feeling that for all his confidence and bravado, Jack is not very happy with who he is inside so he's always putting on a show,presenting a face far different from who he is on the inside. When I think of Jack Raydor, I think of an old-fashioned snake oil salesman or con artist.

#sharon raydor #Major Crimes #andy flynn #shandy #jack raydor #sharon and jack raydor's dysfunctional relationship

[roslinadama-sinequanon]

Picture is not part of my creative talent but that Knudscheldiese.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day- A Shandy Proposal!

CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT-PART 6

“Andy, is everything all right?”

“Uh, yeah. Why?”

“You seem very distracted. You have since we got back from our massage.”

They had a lovely intimate table next to the fireplace in the inn’s cozy dining room and a view of the skaters on the pond, yet Andy seemed more focused on the door leading into the inn’s lobby. It wasn’t like him to be so inattentive. Usually when they had dinner together he was 100% focused on her. Tonight he was distracted and fidgety and non-committal and the only time he acted like that was when he knew he’d done something that would displease her, or when he had to tell her something she wasn’t going to like hearing.

Her eyes narrowed with concern. “You sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Sharon, it was a pinched nerve that caused a terrible muscle spasm and I couldn’t catch my breath.”

“Brought on by stress over the shooting. Because if I had been sitting in Chief Taylor’s seat and he sitting in mine, I would probably be the one who’d been killed in that shooting instead of being the one who killed the shooter. And you were right there watching that all play out and there wasn’t a damn thing you could do to stop it from happening.”

“And I didn’t talk about it with you because you had enough on your plate with the guilt you felt over not having any remorse for killing that Nazi scumbag Dwight. We talked about all this while I was in the hospital. I won’t bottle up my fears anymore and neither will you. Because you do a pretty good job of that yourself.”

Sharon’s lips twitched with amusement. “You are right about that, Andy. Look, we’ve both been alone for a very long time. It’s natural that it would take some time to get too used to having someone in our lives that we can lean on, that we can count on. But I want us to get there. I want you to know I’m always here for you and I’ll always listen to what you have to say, even if I don’t agree with you or you just need to vent. You don’t need to protect me. Just don’t bottle it up inside anymore. It isn’t good for your health and it isn’t good for our relationship.”

He reached across the table taking her hand in his, running his thumb over her knuckles. “And you’ll do the same?”

“I’ll do the same.”

“Oh.” Andy let go of her hand like it was a hot potato.

Sharon turned to see what had created that spark of recognition in his eye and saw an attractive blond in the doorway. The woman caught her eye and immediately ducked away. “Andy?” she questioned with a frown as Andy rose from his seat.

“I’ll be right back. I just need to use the restroom.”

Sharon’s stomach knotted, her eyes following Andy toward the direction the blonde had taken--opposite of where the restrooms were. What the hell was going on? There was no way that this was happening. Not with Andy.

Of course it’s not like she wasn’t well aware of his infamous past history with women. It was certainly no secret that Andy was gorgeous and sexy and attracted women like bees to honey. She’d read once that the Irish and the Italians combined to make the most beautiful people and that was definitely the case with Andy. There weren’t many men who could pull of the delicious combination of suave GQ model in his colorful dress shirts and fashionable suits and boyish jock in his sweats and t-shirts. She hadn’t known him very well when he was on patrol or even after he’d made detective and worked in Vice, then Robbery/Homicide and finally Major Crimes, but she knew who he was and knew his reputation very well. Women talked and many of the women she worked with salivated over the very hot Andy Flynn. Hot being the operative word.

While she hadn’t personally had any run-ins with Andy in FID, she was well aware that he’d been investigated several times as a bit of a hot-head, but his cases had never been serious enough to make it all the way to her desk. He was known to be smart and passionate, dedicated to his job but also impulsive. It was that impulsive streak and his temper that sometimes got him into trouble. In any case, she also knew of his reputation as a ladies man. Not a crime because he was a single, but it was one of the reasons that she had moved so slowly into a relationship with him. She had to be sure it wasn’t just an impulsive decision on his part and that he wasn’t going to drop her as soon as he got what he wanted. That she wasn’t just another in a string of women on his arm.

Once she’d begun working with Andy and had gotten to know him as a person, not just a reputation and certainly once they’d begun dating, she’d found a lonely man living with some very serious regrets. A man who had been trying to fill a very big hole in his heart with a string of affairs that had led him nowhere.

And during the entire time they’d been together she’d never had a reason to doubt him. The impulsive man who went from woman to woman had spent a year pursuing her, going out with her as a friend--no kissing and certainly no sex, or as Andy referred to it, dating without benefits. And then, when she’d finally acknowledged that what they shared was far more than friendship and agreed to officially date him romantically, he’d been very sweet in accepting her boundaries. The Andy who was used to sleeping with women on a first date had taken on her request for an old fashioned courtship, dates that ended with kisses rather than between the sheets, with the intensity of a man who knew exactly what he wanted.

And though he was ready for sex long before she was, he was always good natured about it and had never given her cause to worry that he might turn to another woman to get what he wasn’t getting from her. He was completely focused on her and on their relationship and because of that she’d come to trust him completely.

She did trust him. So, whatever was going on with that blonde, it couldn’t be personal.

When he arrived back at the table he seemed a little rushed, almost jittery.

“Andy, I’d like to know what’s going on.”

“What? What do you mean? Nothing’s going on.”

“I’m a detective. I know when someone is hiding something. And I sure as hell know when the man I am sharing my life with is keeping something from me.”

“It’s nothing, really. Are you finished?”

Sharon nodded and set her coffee mug on the table. Andy signed the bill to be charged to their room.

Still pondering on what was going on with him; Sharon put her jacket back on and stepped out of the inn. Sitting in front of the porch was one of the Austrian Sleigh’s, the two large draft horses that pulled it snorting and stomping their feet in the snow, anxious to get moving. This was a two person sleigh, much smaller than the ones that she’d seen taking out the large groups.

“Your chariot awaits, my lady.”

Sharon turned to see a broad grin on Andy’s face. “This is for us? Just us?”

“Just us.” He began leading her down the porch stairs.

“Welcome,” said the man who greeted them at the bottom of the stairs. “I’m Ron and I’ll be your coachman tonight. It’s a beautiful night for a sleigh ride. You just sit back relax and enjoy the ride. There are blankets in the back to stay warm.”

Once seated Sharon cuddled into Andy and he pulled up the thick faux fur lined blanket and tucked it in around them. The horses took off with a jingle of their harness bells and they began to glide over the snow.

“I can’t believe you did this,” she said. “Is that what all the checking of your watch and that blonde lady were all about?”

“Yes. I told them I wanted a romantic moonlit sleigh ride with my lady and they worked it all out for me.”

“Andy Flynn you really do have a romantic Italian soul.”

“So, you’re not still jealous the kids did this without us yesterday.”

She gave a soft laugh remembering how she‘d pouted a little bit when she thought they‘d been left out. “No. This is much, much better.” She lifted her face to press a kiss to his jaw, murmuring softly against his cold skin, “Though the night was made for loving, And the day returns too soon, Yet we'll go no more a-roving,By the light of the moon.”

“Did you just make that up?”

She chuckled. “I wish I were that talented. No, it‘s Lord Byron.”

“The poet?”

“Yes.”

“It fits. Though I was thinking more alone the lines of, over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go. “

Sharon laughed. “Well, that fits too.”

***

It was a beautiful clear cold night. The stars were bright in the dark sky, the nearly full moon creating blue swaths over the pristine snow covered hills. With jingling bells they made their way along the frozen river and over the open fields into the moon shadowed forest. Once in the forest the flat terrain steadily climbed up a hill and by the time they came out of the woods into a clearing they were at the very top where a large white gazebo sat alight with hundreds of tiny flickering Christmas lights. An oasis of glittering beauty. The sleigh came to a stop and Ron hopped down to help them out so they could warm up inside the closed in structure and take in the view.

Andy led Sharon inside the gazebo where it was warm and toasty thanks to a woodstove burning in the corner. In the middle of the room sat a small round table covered with a red linen tablecloth. Tall white pillar candles flickered on that table, shining in the crystal champagne flutes and on the silver bucket that held what looked like iced bottles of champagne. If she’d thought the sleigh ride was romantic, well, that appeared to be just the tip of the iceberg.

After warming her hands for a moment over the stove Sharon made her way to front of the gazebo. “Oh Andy,” she breathed. “Come look at this view.”

The gazebo was perched at the very top of the hill and far below them in the valley was the inn, the pond and the lights of the village.

“It’s so beautiful. Like a winter wonderland.”

Andy stepped up beside her. “You’re beautiful, Sharon. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I‘ve always thought that, even when I believed you were the wicked witch of FID. But it was only when I got to know you that I found you are even more beautiful on the inside than you are on the outside. I thought having you take over Major Crimes was one of the worst things that could happen to me, but it turns out it was the best. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love you with all my heart.”

“Oh, Andy.” Sharon turned to him leaning forward as if to kiss him, but he pulled back.

“Wait. I have to do this before I lose my nerve.”

Sharon’s look of adoration turned to one of confusion…Until Andy fell to one knee and she gave a sharp intake of breath. Oh my God. Andy was proposing!

“There are three things I want to say and I don‘t want to forget anything,” he said, pulling out his little police notebook.

Sharon smiled through the tears that had filled her eyes the moment she realized what he was doing.

Andy glanced at his notebook then stuffed it back in his pocket so he could look her directly in the eye when he spoke.

“Okay. One. You know how happy I was when you agreed to live with me. And I am happy. And I know we don’t need a piece of paper to tell us how much we love each other or how committed we are to each other. But I want that piece of paper Sharon. I want to stand in front of a priest and all our family and friends and take those vows, make those promises. I want you to be my wife, not my girlfriend. And I want to be your husband.

Two. For so many years now I’ve felt empty and alone. You’ve made me realize what I’ve been missing all these years. It’s like that dirt bag life coach said. I had a hole in my heart and nothing could fill it. Until you. Now when I look in my heart all I see is you. You make me want to be a better person, a better cop, a better father, a better lover and I hope one day soon a better husband.

And three. Life is short Sharon. I came so close to losing you this year and you thought you were going to lose me. I know we’ve got to figure things out, talk to Father Mark about our options but the one thing I don’t need to figure out is how I feel about you. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and doing my best to make you happy.”  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. By now the tears that had been burning in Sharon’s eyes began trailing down her cheeks. “Sharon Elizabeth O’Dwyer Raydor, will you marry me?”

Sharon could hardly speak through the tears clogging her throat.  “Yes,” she choked. “Oh my God, yes!”

Andy rose and she threw herself in his arms. All her life she’d put her dreams away for someone else. First giving up law school for Jack, and then going into FID for her kids. She now had a job she loved, two of her kids were grown and out of the house. Rusty was doing well and he’d be gone in a few years. It was about time she take a chance at something she wanted. And oh, how she wanted a life with Andy.  Sweet, passionate, dependable, romantic, sexy, fun Andy who loved her as no man ever had. Her world really was a better and brighter place with him in it.

“Well.” When he pulled back from her embrace Sharon saw that she was not the only one moved. Tears shone in Andy’s dark eyes, one sliding down his cheek. Slightly embarrassed he quickly brushed it away. “Do you want to have a look at the ring?”

“Oh, yes of course,” she laughed. She took the box and opened it gasping at the glittering princess cut diamond inside. “Oh Andy,” she sighed. “It’s absolutely exquisite.”

“It was my Grandmother Flynn’s ring. But they were kind of poor and I wanted to give you the diamond you deserve, so I brought it to custom jeweler. He kept the vintage band and made smaller diamonds out of the original diamond, which is what you see on the sides here and then I chose this bigger Princess cut because you said it was your favorite style for engagement rings.”

“It is, but when did I say that?”

“One day when we were window shopping last summer. I specifically brought you by a jewelry store so I could get some ideas about what you liked and didn’t like. Then I brought Gavin with me shopping because he knows your style pretty well.”

“Andy. You were thinking about marrying me last summer? We hadn’t even slept together yet.”

“Sharon, sleeping with you has never been a deal breaker. Even if you were a dud in bed I’d still want to marry you. “

She gave a surprised laugh. “Gee, thanks Andy.”

“You’re welcome,” he flashed her that sexy little half grin. “Of course, thankfully you aren’t a dud. In fact, you’re pretty damn amazing in bed. Truth is I think I’ve wanted to marry you since our first dance at Nicole’s wedding.”

“Andy…” she was skeptical.

“Okay, maybe I wasn’t thinking marriage then, but I wasn’t lying when I said I started falling in love with you that night. It was that night that you stopped being Captain Raydor and became my Sharon.”

“Your Sharon?”

“That’s how I thought of you. I know you weren’t even divorced yet and we weren‘t even dating. But after that night you were my Sharon, even if it was only in my mind.”

“Oh Andy, you really are the sweetest man.” She reached a hand up to cup his cheek, her heart so filled it felt like it would burst. She couldn’t remember a time she’d ever been this happy.

“So, let’s try this sucker on,” Andy grinned.

“Yes, let’s do.” Sharon held her hand out and Andy slipped the ring down her slender finger. It fit perfectly. He‘d been pretty sure it would. He knew her ring size because the weekend they‘d gone away to the beach he‘d bought her a claddagh ring to show her how much she meant to him and so she would always be reminded of their first time.

“It is absolutely breathtaking,” she said, moving her hand to catch the light from the candles in the diamond. “I love the vintage band and I love that it was your grandmother’s. And the diamond is absolutely perfect.”

“It reminds me of you, both old fashioned and modern.”

She smiled at the comparison. “And it‘s a custom piece, nobody else in the world has a ring like this.”

“One of a kind, just like you.”

“Uh, excuse me,” they both turned to see the coachman. “I hate to rush you, but we’re going to have to head back soon.”

“How much time?”

“I can give you about 10 more minutes.”

“Perfect.”

“By the way, how did it go?”

Andy took Sharon’s hand and lifted it, beaming as he wiggled her ring finger. “She said yes.”

“Ahh…congratulations. Beautiful place for a proposal, isn’t it?”

“The most beautiful,” Sharon agreed giving Andy a tender smile.

“If you’d like, I could take some pictures of you.”

“That would be great.” Sharon handed him her phone and showed him how to take pictures with it while Andy popped the cork from the bottle of champagne and poured Sharon a glass before pouring a glass of sparking cider for him.

“To my beautiful fiancée. I will be counting the days until you are my wife,” he said.

“And to my very, very handsome fiancé who planned the most romantic proposal ever. I love you Andy.”  They touched glasses and kissed while Ron snapped pictures.

****

Back on the sleigh Sharon immediately curled back up against Andy, holding her hand out to continue admiring her engagement ring in the moonlight. “The kids are going to be so surprised.”

“Well,” Andy hedged. “Maybe not so surprised.”

“What do you mean? Did you tell them you were proposing tonight?” She couldn’t keep the disappointment in her tone out of the question.

“No, not tonight, just sometime in the future.”

“And how did that come up?”

“I wanted to get their take on things before I asked you to marry me. I mean I know I didn’t need their permission or anything, but I was hoping to get their blessing. I know how important your kids are to you, Sharon, and I knew it was something you’d want too.”

“You really do know me, don’t you?”

“Guess it helps that we were friends well before we were lovers.”

“You weren’t saying that before we were lovers,” she reminded him wryly.

“Yeah, well, you can’t blame a guy for a little impatience. Not when he’s dating a smart, sassy, sexy woman who wants to take things slow.”

“You survived,” she grinned.

“And you were worth the wait.”

“So, did you get their blessing?”

“I did. Emily was easy. She’s ready to start planning the wedding. Rusty, well he sort of expected this since I’ve been living with you. He’s used to us together. Ricky was the toughest.”

“Oh no. Was he an ass to you? Sometimes I want to throttle that boy. You know when Jack left there were so many people telling him “you have to be the man of the house now”. But I hated that. He was just a little boy and I never wanted him to feel like that. I was the adult, I was the parent. But there are times, especially now that he’s older, that he gets a little too full of himself and starts acting like he’s my parent not my son.”

“Whoa, Sharon, relax. He was fine, really. I get along great Ricky. I always have. He likes me. He thinks I’m good for you. He sees how happy you are. He’s just protective of you. They all are. They don’t want to see you hurt. They remember what it was like when Jack hurt you and how hard it was on you. They don’t want to see it happen again, none of them. Ricky was just the one that made it clear that hurting you might cause me to end up at the bottom of the Pacific.”

Sharon shook her head rolling her eyes. “He said that? And I always thought he was a smart boy. You don’t threaten the police.”

“It’s okay. I understand where he’s coming from. If anyone ever hurt you, I’d put them at the bottom of the Pacific myself.”

Sharon shivered. She wasn’t so sure Andy was exaggerating on that point.

“You’ve got great kids Sharon. They love you very much. All three of them said that after putting them first for so many years you deserve to be happy and if I make you happy, I have their blessing.”

“You make me happy,” she assured him.

“Good, then that’s settled. And you can surprise them with our news.”

“I think I want to wait.”

Andy’s face fell and Sharon quickly took his hand. “Don’t panic. Not for long. I’m done with moving slow. I was just thinking, maybe we should wait until Christmas Eve dinner at my parents. We can surprise everyone with the news and it’s only a couple days away.”

“I think I can wait that long.”

“Of course that means I’m going to have to take my ring off.” She sounded so sad it brought a smile to Andy’s face.

“I’m glad you like it so much, sweetheart.”

“I love it.” And now that she had Andy’s ring on her finger the last thing she wanted to do was take it off. “But I suppose I can wait a couple more days to put it on.”

“And then it never comes off?”

“Never, never, never.”

TBC

.

#sharon raydor #andy flynn #shandy #Major Crimes #christmas in connecticut #shandy proposal #shandy love #Mary McDonnell #tony denison #Shandy Christmas

[roslinadama-sinequanon]

Picture is not part of my creative talent but that Knudscheldiese.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day- A Shandy Proposal!

CHRISTMAS IN CONNECTICUT-PART 6

“Andy, is everything all right?”

“Uh, yeah. Why?”

“You seem very distracted. You have since we got back from our massage.”

They had a lovely intimate table next to the fireplace in the inn’s cozy dining room and a view of the skaters on the pond, yet Andy seemed more focused on the door leading into the inn’s lobby. It wasn’t like him to be so inattentive. Usually when they had dinner together he was 100% focused on her. Tonight he was distracted and fidgety and non-committal and the only time he acted like that was when he knew he’d done something that would displease her, or when he had to tell her something she wasn’t going to like hearing.

Her eyes narrowed with concern. “You sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Sharon, it was a pinched nerve that caused a terrible muscle spasm and I couldn’t catch my breath.”

“Brought on by stress over the shooting. Because if I had been sitting in Chief Taylor’s seat and he sitting in mine, I would probably be the one who’d been killed in that shooting instead of being the one who killed the shooter. And you were right there watching that all play out and there wasn’t a damn thing you could do to stop it from happening.”

“And I didn’t talk about it with you because you had enough on your plate with the guilt you felt over not having any remorse for killing that Nazi scumbag Dwight. We talked about all this while I was in the hospital. I won’t bottle up my fears anymore and neither will you. Because you do a pretty good job of that yourself.”

Sharon’s lips twitched with amusement. “You are right about that, Andy. Look, we’ve both been alone for a very long time. It’s natural that it would take some time to get too used to having someone in our lives that we can lean on, that we can count on. But I want us to get there. I want you to know I’m always here for you and I’ll always listen to what you have to say, even if I don’t agree with you or you just need to vent. You don’t need to protect me. Just don’t bottle it up inside anymore. It isn’t good for your health and it isn’t good for our relationship.”

He reached across the table taking her hand in his, running his thumb over her knuckles. “And you’ll do the same?”

“I’ll do the same.”

“Oh.” Andy let go of her hand like it was a hot potato.

Sharon turned to see what had created that spark of recognition in his eye and saw an attractive blond in the doorway. The woman caught her eye and immediately ducked away. “Andy?” she questioned with a frown as Andy rose from his seat.

“I’ll be right back. I just need to use the restroom.”

Sharon’s stomach knotted, her eyes following Andy toward the direction the blonde had taken--opposite of where the restrooms were. What the hell was going on? There was no way that this was happening. Not with Andy.

Of course it’s not like she wasn’t well aware of his infamous past history with women. It was certainly no secret that Andy was gorgeous and sexy and attracted women like bees to honey. She’d read once that the Irish and the Italians combined to make the most beautiful people and that was definitely the case with Andy. There weren’t many men who could pull of the delicious combination of suave GQ model in his colorful dress shirts and fashionable suits and boyish jock in his sweats and t-shirts. She hadn’t known him very well when he was on patrol or even after he’d made detective and worked in Vice, then Robbery/Homicide and finally Major Crimes, but she knew who he was and knew his reputation very well. Women talked and many of the women she worked with salivated over the very hot Andy Flynn. Hot being the operative word.

While she hadn’t personally had any run-ins with Andy in FID, she was well aware that he’d been investigated several times as a bit of a hot-head, but his cases had never been serious enough to make it all the way to her desk. He was known to be smart and passionate, dedicated to his job but also impulsive. It was that impulsive streak and his temper that sometimes got him into trouble. In any case, she also knew of his reputation as a ladies man. Not a crime because he was a single, but it was one of the reasons that she had moved so slowly into a relationship with him. She had to be sure it wasn’t just an impulsive decision on his part and that he wasn’t going to drop her as soon as he got what he wanted. That she wasn’t just another in a string of women on his arm.

Once she’d begun working with Andy and had gotten to know him as a person, not just a reputation and certainly once they’d begun dating, she’d found a lonely man living with some very serious regrets. A man who had been trying to fill a very big hole in his heart with a string of affairs that had led him nowhere.

And during the entire time they’d been together she’d never had a reason to doubt him. The impulsive man who went from woman to woman had spent a year pursuing her, going out with her as a friend--no kissing and certainly no sex, or as Andy referred to it, dating without benefits. And then, when she’d finally acknowledged that what they shared was far more than friendship and agreed to officially date him romantically, he’d been very sweet in accepting her boundaries. The Andy who was used to sleeping with women on a first date had taken on her request for an old fashioned courtship, dates that ended with kisses rather than between the sheets, with the intensity of a man who knew exactly what he wanted.

And though he was ready for sex long before she was, he was always good natured about it and had never given her cause to worry that he might turn to another woman to get what he wasn’t getting from her. He was completely focused on her and on their relationship and because of that she’d come to trust him completely.

She did trust him. So, whatever was going on with that blonde, it couldn’t be personal.

When he arrived back at the table he seemed a little rushed, almost jittery.

“Andy, I’d like to know what’s going on.”

“What? What do you mean? Nothing’s going on.”

“I’m a detective. I know when someone is hiding something. And I sure as hell know when the man I am sharing my life with is keeping something from me.”

“It’s nothing, really. Are you finished?”

Sharon nodded and set her coffee mug on the table. Andy signed the bill to be charged to their room.

Still pondering on what was going on with him; Sharon put her jacket back on and stepped out of the inn. Sitting in front of the porch was one of the Austrian Sleigh’s, the two large draft horses that pulled it snorting and stomping their feet in the snow, anxious to get moving. This was a two person sleigh, much smaller than the ones that she’d seen taking out the large groups.

“Your chariot awaits, my lady.”

Sharon turned to see a broad grin on Andy’s face. “This is for us? Just us?”

“Just us.” He began leading her down the porch stairs.

“Welcome,” said the man who greeted them at the bottom of the stairs. “I’m Ron and I’ll be your coachman tonight. It’s a beautiful night for a sleigh ride. You just sit back relax and enjoy the ride. There are blankets in the back to stay warm.”

Once seated Sharon cuddled into Andy and he pulled up the thick faux fur lined blanket and tucked it in around them. The horses took off with a jingle of their harness bells and they began to glide over the snow.

“I can’t believe you did this,” she said. “Is that what all the checking of your watch and that blonde lady were all about?”

“Yes. I told them I wanted a romantic moonlit sleigh ride with my lady and they worked it all out for me.”

“Andy Flynn you really do have a romantic Italian soul.”

“So, you’re not still jealous the kids did this without us yesterday.”

She gave a soft laugh remembering how she‘d pouted a little bit when she thought they‘d been left out. “No. This is much, much better.” She lifted her face to press a kiss to his jaw, murmuring softly against his cold skin, “Though the night was made for loving, And the day returns too soon, Yet we'll go no more a-roving,By the light of the moon.”

“Did you just make that up?”

She chuckled. “I wish I were that talented. No, it‘s Lord Byron.”

“The poet?”

“Yes.”

“It fits. Though I was thinking more alone the lines of, over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house we go. “

Sharon laughed. “Well, that fits too.”

***

It was a beautiful clear cold night. The stars were bright in the dark sky, the nearly full moon creating blue swaths over the pristine snow covered hills. With jingling bells they made their way along the frozen river and over the open fields into the moon shadowed forest. Once in the forest the flat terrain steadily climbed up a hill and by the time they came out of the woods into a clearing they were at the very top where a large white gazebo sat alight with hundreds of tiny flickering Christmas lights. An oasis of glittering beauty. The sleigh came to a stop and Ron hopped down to help them out so they could warm up inside the closed in structure and take in the view.

Andy led Sharon inside the gazebo where it was warm and toasty thanks to a woodstove burning in the corner. In the middle of the room sat a small round table covered with a red linen tablecloth. Tall white pillar candles flickered on that table, shining in the crystal champagne flutes and on the silver bucket that held what looked like iced bottles of champagne. If she’d thought the sleigh ride was romantic, well, that appeared to be just the tip of the iceberg.

After warming her hands for a moment over the stove Sharon made her way to front of the gazebo. “Oh Andy,” she breathed. “Come look at this view.”

The gazebo was perched at the very top of the hill and far below them in the valley was the inn, the pond and the lights of the village.

“It’s so beautiful. Like a winter wonderland.”

Andy stepped up beside her. “You’re beautiful, Sharon. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I‘ve always thought that, even when I believed you were the wicked witch of FID. But it was only when I got to know you that I found you are even more beautiful on the inside than you are on the outside. I thought having you take over Major Crimes was one of the worst things that could happen to me, but it turns out it was the best. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love you with all my heart.”

“Oh, Andy.” Sharon turned to him leaning forward as if to kiss him, but he pulled back.

“Wait. I have to do this before I lose my nerve.”

Sharon’s look of adoration turned to one of confusion…Until Andy fell to one knee and she gave a sharp intake of breath. Oh my God. Andy was proposing!

“There are three things I want to say and I don‘t want to forget anything,” he said, pulling out his little police notebook.

Sharon smiled through the tears that had filled her eyes the moment she realized what he was doing.

Andy glanced at his notebook then stuffed it back in his pocket so he could look her directly in the eye when he spoke.

“Okay. One. You know how happy I was when you agreed to live with me. And I am happy. And I know we don’t need a piece of paper to tell us how much we love each other or how committed we are to each other. But I want that piece of paper Sharon. I want to stand in front of a priest and all our family and friends and take those vows, make those promises. I want you to be my wife, not my girlfriend. And I want to be your husband.

Two. For so many years now I’ve felt empty and alone. You’ve made me realize what I’ve been missing all these years. It’s like that dirt bag life coach said. I had a hole in my heart and nothing could fill it. Until you. Now when I look in my heart all I see is you. You make me want to be a better person, a better cop, a better father, a better lover and I hope one day soon a better husband.

And three. Life is short Sharon. I came so close to losing you this year and you thought you were going to lose me. I know we’ve got to figure things out, talk to Father Mark about our options but the one thing I don’t need to figure out is how I feel about you. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and doing my best to make you happy.”  He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box. By now the tears that had been burning in Sharon’s eyes began trailing down her cheeks. “Sharon Elizabeth O’Dwyer Raydor, will you marry me?”

Sharon could hardly speak through the tears clogging her throat.  “Yes,” she choked. “Oh my God, yes!”

Andy rose and she threw herself in his arms. All her life she’d put her dreams away for someone else. First giving up law school for Jack, and then going into FID for her kids. She now had a job she loved, two of her kids were grown and out of the house. Rusty was doing well and he’d be gone in a few years. It was about time she take a chance at something she wanted. And oh, how she wanted a life with Andy.  Sweet, passionate, dependable, romantic, sexy, fun Andy who loved her as no man ever had. Her world really was a better and brighter place with him in it.

“Well.” When he pulled back from her embrace Sharon saw that she was not the only one moved. Tears shone in Andy’s dark eyes, one sliding down his cheek. Slightly embarrassed he quickly brushed it away. “Do you want to have a look at the ring?”

“Oh, yes of course,” she laughed. She took the box and opened it gasping at the glittering princess cut diamond inside. “Oh Andy,” she sighed. “It’s absolutely exquisite.”

“It was my Grandmother Flynn’s ring. But they were kind of poor and I wanted to give you the diamond you deserve, so I brought it to custom jeweler. He kept the vintage band and made smaller diamonds out of the original diamond, which is what you see on the sides here and then I chose this bigger Princess cut because you said it was your favorite style for engagement rings.”

“It is, but when did I say that?”

“One day when we were window shopping last summer. I specifically brought you by a jewelry store so I could get some ideas about what you liked and didn’t like. Then I brought Gavin with me shopping because he knows your style pretty well.”

“Andy. You were thinking about marrying me last summer? We hadn’t even slept together yet.”

“Sharon, sleeping with you has never been a deal breaker. Even if you were a dud in bed I’d still want to marry you. “

She gave a surprised laugh. “Gee, thanks Andy.”

“You’re welcome,” he flashed her that sexy little half grin. “Of course, thankfully you aren’t a dud. In fact, you’re pretty damn amazing in bed. Truth is I think I’ve wanted to marry you since our first dance at Nicole’s wedding.”

“Andy…” she was skeptical.

“Okay, maybe I wasn’t thinking marriage then, but I wasn’t lying when I said I started falling in love with you that night. It was that night that you stopped being Captain Raydor and became my Sharon.”

“Your Sharon?”

“That’s how I thought of you. I know you weren’t even divorced yet and we weren‘t even dating. But after that night you were my Sharon, even if it was only in my mind.”

“Oh Andy, you really are the sweetest man.” She reached a hand up to cup his cheek, her heart so filled it felt like it would burst. She couldn’t remember a time she’d ever been this happy.

“So, let’s try this sucker on,” Andy grinned.

“Yes, let’s do.” Sharon held her hand out and Andy slipped the ring down her slender finger. It fit perfectly. He‘d been pretty sure it would. He knew her ring size because the weekend they‘d gone away to the beach he‘d bought her a claddagh ring to show her how much she meant to him and so she would always be reminded of their first time.

“It is absolutely breathtaking,” she said, moving her hand to catch the light from the candles in the diamond. “I love the vintage band and I love that it was your grandmother’s. And the diamond is absolutely perfect.”

“It reminds me of you, both old fashioned and modern.”

She smiled at the comparison. “And it‘s a custom piece, nobody else in the world has a ring like this.”

“One of a kind, just like you.”

“Uh, excuse me,” they both turned to see the coachman. “I hate to rush you, but we’re going to have to head back soon.”

“How much time?”

“I can give you about 10 more minutes.”

“Perfect.”

“By the way, how did it go?”

Andy took Sharon’s hand and lifted it, beaming as he wiggled her ring finger. “She said yes.”

“Ahh…congratulations. Beautiful place for a proposal, isn’t it?”

“The most beautiful,” Sharon agreed giving Andy a tender smile.

“If you’d like, I could take some pictures of you.”

“That would be great.” Sharon handed him her phone and showed him how to take pictures with it while Andy popped the cork from the bottle of champagne and poured Sharon a glass before pouring a glass of sparking cider for him.

“To my beautiful fiancée. I will be counting the days until you are my wife,” he said.

“And to my very, very handsome fiancé who planned the most romantic proposal ever. I love you Andy.”  They touched glasses and kissed while Ron snapped pictures.

****

Back on the sleigh Sharon immediately curled back up against Andy, holding her hand out to continue admiring her engagement ring in the moonlight. “The kids are going to be so surprised.”

“Well,” Andy hedged. “Maybe not so surprised.”

“What do you mean? Did you tell them you were proposing tonight?” She couldn’t keep the disappointment in her tone out of the question.

“No, not tonight, just sometime in the future.”

“And how did that come up?”

“I wanted to get their take on things before I asked you to marry me. I mean I know I didn’t need their permission or anything, but I was hoping to get their blessing. I know how important your kids are to you, Sharon, and I knew it was something you’d want too.”

“You really do know me, don’t you?”

“Guess it helps that we were friends well before we were lovers.”

“You weren’t saying that before we were lovers,” she reminded him wryly.

“Yeah, well, you can’t blame a guy for a little impatience. Not when he’s dating a smart, sassy, sexy woman who wants to take things slow.”

“You survived,” she grinned.

“And you were worth the wait.”

“So, did you get their blessing?”

“I did. Emily was easy. She’s ready to start planning the wedding. Rusty, well he sort of expected this since I’ve been living with you. He’s used to us together. Ricky was the toughest.”

“Oh no. Was he an ass to you? Sometimes I want to throttle that boy. You know when Jack left there were so many people telling him “you have to be the man of the house now”. But I hated that. He was just a little boy and I never wanted him to feel like that. I was the adult, I was the parent. But there are times, especially now that he’s older, that he gets a little too full of himself and starts acting like he’s my parent not my son.”

“Whoa, Sharon, relax. He was fine, really. I get along great Ricky. I always have. He likes me. He thinks I’m good for you. He sees how happy you are. He’s just protective of you. They all are. They don’t want to see you hurt. They remember what it was like when Jack hurt you and how hard it was on you. They don’t want to see it happen again, none of them. Ricky was just the one that made it clear that hurting you might cause me to end up at the bottom of the Pacific.”

Sharon shook her head rolling her eyes. “He said that? And I always thought he was a smart boy. You don’t threaten the police.”

“It’s okay. I understand where he’s coming from. If anyone ever hurt you, I’d put them at the bottom of the Pacific myself.”

Sharon shivered. She wasn’t so sure Andy was exaggerating on that point.

“You’ve got great kids Sharon. They love you very much. All three of them said that after putting them first for so many years you deserve to be happy and if I make you happy, I have their blessing.”

“You make me happy,” she assured him.

“Good, then that’s settled. And you can surprise them with our news.”

“I think I want to wait.”

Andy’s face fell and Sharon quickly took his hand. “Don’t panic. Not for long. I’m done with moving slow. I was just thinking, maybe we should wait until Christmas Eve dinner at my parents. We can surprise everyone with the news and it’s only a couple days away.”

“I think I can wait that long.”

“Of course that means I’m going to have to take my ring off.” She sounded so sad it brought a smile to Andy’s face.

“I’m glad you like it so much, sweetheart.”

“I love it.” And now that she had Andy’s ring on her finger the last thing she wanted to do was take it off. “But I suppose I can wait a couple more days to put it on.”

“And then it never comes off?”

“Never, never, never.”

TBC

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