#the only reason i havent done it yet i guess is that it feels weird to make what's technically a big plot change on something published?

[pagesofkenna]

every day i'm tempted to go back to Metal Flowers (my knives!Hanakaki kanej fic) and edit the like two lines where the cure condition is described as feelings being reciprocated, into the cure condition being feelings confessed, and change nothing else

#the only reason i havent done it yet i guess is that it feels weird to make what's technically a big plot change on something published? #but like. it would truly be just two lines changed #and its SO much funnier to have kaz coughing up blood in the attic pissed at his own impending dead #and refusing to even acknowledge the one (1) thing he needs to do to safe his own life because it means recognizing his own emotions #like even in that published draft it was never 'gosh im mad i'm gonna die because she'd never love me' #it was 'i cant believe im dying for such a stupid reason and letting inej down and i havent even killed pekka yet' #like truly nothing really changes in this updated concept except kaz's emotional constipation is what almost kills him #AND the flowers arent 'inej loves him back so he's saved' but #'inej has enough emotional intelligence to realize what he was accidentally saying even though HE doesn't even' #im so funny y'all sometimes my brain does a good and this fic was one of them

[clownsalot]

uhm i come bearing milgram ocs can i come play in the sandbox with you guys 👉👈

anyways here are my silly guys!!

(im kinda too lazy to come up with my own entire prisoner roster and Es, so i basically just plopped my guys straight into canon. also, im only throwing in stuff from trial 1 because i havent really thought out trial 2 yet beyond vague ideas)

details and stuff below the cut!!!

introduction

015

t1 songs of the prisoners

No, I'm too scared to—!

t1 voice trailer

Ah, my name is Takahashi Naoto. Just Naoto is fine. I'm 18, in my graduating year of highschool. Nice to meet you, Warden. I think asking me about how I feel will just sway your decision making. It's straightforward, so let's keep it simple. Just take the facts. —"—"- What the hell...what the hell? I didn't think it would...it wasn't supposed to...

016

t1 songs of the prisoners

This is...payback!

t1 voice trailer

Yo~ I'm Hashimoto Akane. I'm 15 years old, 3rd year middle school. That makes us a similar age, doesn't it? Let's get along! Well, I will admit that what I did definitely made some people very upset. You'll be deciding if I should be punished on their behalf, right? —"—"- You deserve this. You deserve this! You're the one who chose to go that far...!

interrogation questions

Q: Family?

015: Both my parents. An older brother, too. I don't talk to them often since I stopped living with them.

016: Myself, my mom and dad, and my younger sister. She's 14, I love her very much!!

Q: Who was your victim to you?

015: A schoolmate. Her name was Asuka. You could say we were friends.

016: She wasn't anyone important to me or anything, so don't get weird ideas. I only knew about her because of my sister.

Q: How is your experience in Milgram?

015: It's not all bad. I've never had this much free time before.

016: It's alright but I still kinda want to go home. I worry about how my sister is doing...

Q: What do you dislike?

015: Just in general? Well, it doesn't matter i guess. I don't like things that are bothersome.

016: People who mistreat others for no reason. They're terrible. Terrible!

Q: Are there things you regret?

015: I try not to think about them. Regrets don't erase your mistakes, so what's the point?

016: I did everything believing it was the right choice at the time. But I wish I'd done more sooner. It would have saved my sister a lot of suffering and I might not even be here if I had.

Q: Do you have apologetic feelings for your victim?

015: You're the one responsible for judging if I should, aren't you?

016: Who knows. But I don't regret what I did.

Q: Any prisoners you're close with?

015: I'm on good terms with everyone. Though, I like talking with Kayano. He's a bit like an older sibling.

016: I like taking care of Amane and always try to look after her, we're the youngest in the prison after all. But I don't know if she likes it...

Q: Which prisoner would you say is most like you?

015: Mr Mukuhara. There's just something about him, like if he looks at me too long he'll know what I did. That he'll know that I broke a promise too.

016: Not that sure actually...maybe Kotoko?No...Kajiyama? I don't know. But Kajiyama's actually kinda nice when you get down to it, isn't that surprising? He looks out for Haruka, like I try to do for Amane.

Q: Is there a verdict you hope for?

015: That would defeat the point. I want to be judged properly by an outside perspective. Whatever you decide must be correct, right?

016: I'd like to be forgiven, since I think I did the right thing. But I know what I did also hurt others, so I understand if you choose not to forgive me.

bonus notes!!

i was thinking that the trial results would go something like:

for naoto (015) it'd be t1 guilty t2 innocent, something like fuuta. because his mv and song would be super vague and the prevalent theory would paint him in a terrible light, kinda like shidou except without the pretty privilege, and like fuuta whether he feels bad or not is hard to tell, so he gets guiltied. then somehow his trial 2 would garner him a crap ton of sympathy again like fuuta and his vote would turn around

for akane (016) it'd be t1 innocent t2 guilty, kinda like a reverse of naoto. she might be like muu or kotoko where the trial 1 paints her as super sympathetic/heroic, leading you to root for her, but in trial 2 she gets painted in a more negative light so she gets guiltied then

funny side note is that in terms of character parallels by complete accident i accidentally gave naoto like a wild number of paralles to kazui?? like i reached the 'which prisoner would you say is most like you' question, looked at it and suddenly realized, hey isn't this guy just like kazui??? it's that 'i personally relate to kazui a staggering amount' swag ig

akane's parallels were a lot harder to think of because she paralleled a lot of characters in different ways, so the way i ended up writing her response was deliberate and it's great fun to me lol.

i actually couldn't decide if akane would like fuuta or hate his guts, so i didn't include a 'who do you get along with?' question here since i didn't know how to answer it

for their names i ended up going down the 100 most common japanese surnames list on wikipedia and choosing ones that i thought fit, then put them in combination with their given names. i think what i came up with is a little morbidly funny in relation to their crimes that i still think i was kinda clever for, but i didn't write anything about their actual crimes beyond the vague hints in the interro questions, and i havent included the actual characters for their names. idk is that interesting to you guys

so anyways i was wondering if it'd be better if i elaborated on the crimes and wrote them out as it happened in another post or..? idk what do you guys think? should i continue to just be super vague about them

i did also come up with these guys with a prisoner pair theme in mind and it's supposed to be something like 'how much of yourself would you give for your loved ones' but im a little afraid that might be too similar to shidou and mahiru's theme about love? even though their crimes are vastly different i think

anyways that's it, have a nice day!! if you were interested enough to read all the way to here thank you so much <3

#I JUST REALIZED I MADE MISTAKES WITH AKANE'S SPRITE NOO #i forgot the buckle and to add shine to her hair...maybe ill fix it maybe i wont #milgram oc #my silly guys who i throw around like dolls <- oc tag #for the interro answers i ended up dropping the japanese honorifics and tried just conveying it through which name they use to refer to the #feels weird with the honorifics but also feels weird without so that's something #edited the post because photo format got fucked i hope it is now unfuckdf we shall see

[rosekasa]

20 questions for fic writers!

thank u @jattendschaton for tagging me 🥺 i love these questions

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 107 on maketea, but with my um. two other accounts i have 128

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

on maketea i have 293,935, but with at least one of my other accounts (one of them is for ml and one of them for another fandom, the latter of which i cant be bothered to log in to rn shdjsk) the total is 313,681!!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

miraculous ladybug mainly! but i have also written for owari no seraph. ive written for other fandoms but im not counting it if i literally only have one work to my name for them HSJAJA with ons at least i have 3 on maketea and 12 on my other account

THEORETICALLY. i also write for sailor moon. i have a substantial amount in my google docs. they just havent manifested themselves into existence yet

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

apology gifts, like poles of a magnet, new marinette, a nine-year old (fhfjsj), and i'll marry you! ive actually had kudos/hits/comments stats hidden on ao3 since 2021 so i have no clue how many kudos any of these have which is very funny to me

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i try to but i always get distracted midway through going through my inbox which is totally on me fjdkka. i always decide to do it when im literally in the middle of class for whatever fuckin reason HAHAHA. i also always feel bad because im like 'oh i havent replied to this in literally two years im too embarrassed to reply now'

i also want to reply with more than just 'thank you' because comments mean SO MUCH TO ME but i think i psych myself out of replying because im too scared i won't be able to express it properly

im trying to resolve to get better at it!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ehemememem. ya'aburnee.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

ooh, id say new marinette! in terms of like. the emotional arc or whatever

i was gonna say lpoam, but i think there's still a bit of lingering Sad there

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i want to say no. but ive been writing fics for ten years now and i feel like i mustve done Something weird when i was younger

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yep, for an old fandom on wattpad!

shdkska this is really funny, but back then i made a playlist for the fic, and i remember the person who translated it wrote in their translation of that chapter 'i wouldve done it differently but it's okay' that still makes me laugh

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yep, i did one for owari no seraph and one for ml! i have some others in the works tho hehe

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

guess

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

oh hmm. i think i am delusional and believe all my wips will someday be finished HDJFJSJS so im changing this question to 'doubt you will in the near future'. for that, id say maybeeee my amnesia adrien fic. 40k words in the doc and babe is still marinating

16. What are your writing strengths?

hmm. i think im quite good at writing interactions! i mean, i like the way i write them at least. i love capturing the feeling of being with people and i think i do it well!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

there's something that feels kind of hesitant when i read my docs sometimes? it feels like im worried to hit the point of the plot head-on and skirting around what i actually want to say. i think what i'm trying to do to improve is to be a bit more direct in my narration style and focus on being descriptive only when it's needed.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

ive done it before!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

oh i dont want to answer this. one direction

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

like poles of a magnet <3

tagging @destiny-with-you , @mozzygan , @asukiess , @ladyofthenoodle , and whoever else wants to do this!!! just say i tagged u when u do it hehe

#♡alizeh talks♡

[sicjimin]

AU where yoongi is a famous rapper and jimin has a normal job and yoonmin are exes who meet after almost a year of breaking up when jimin is pregnant but hasn't told yoongi because they broke up because of yoongis career.

But then yoongi supports him through an episode of morning sickness and jimin realises that he NEEDS him and yoongi genuinely wants to support him too so they get back together?

Is this too elaborate of a request 😭 I'm so sorry

a.n : another very .. old .. request have been fulfilled 🥲 im sorryy again it takes so long, i hope you're still around anon .. AND This is a very long one (25k words). I even considering to make this into 2 parts as i got carried away and yeah .. the story dragged on. in part 2 will be Yoongi takes care of Jimin during his morning sickness, more like a drabble i guess. i dont know if this story makes sense bc im afraid the longer story goes the more like rambling i got going on there .. (and i havent write the part 2 yet, so im open with any suggestion about what kind of morning sickness episode that jimin is going thru, and where (maybe) bc i feel like ive been using lots of scene ab morning sickness, a fresh idea would be very welcomed 🫶)

⚠️ a long read ahead ⚠️

tw : mpreg, emeto. (lots of it), most of it with detailed description of vomiting

Jimin should have known—should have realized and learned from his past 3 years long relationship with Yoongi, that the older is smart, meticulous, and attentive ; especially towards him. He should have known that even after a year going with minimal contact, his Yoongi won't change too much. He would still be Yoongi that always keeps his gaze towards Jimin—carefully trailing every single of his body movement, with hands ready to catch him if he almost fall after laughing too much, or if he trips over his legs, or if Jimin's glass of wine already empty but he's already curled in cozy on the couch, or if they sit close enough and Jimin starts to feel sleepy ; it would be ready to trace the younger locks, gently massaging his scalp because he knows it would help Jimin fall asleep, or over his arms ; rubbing an absent-minded pattern that would instantly melt the knots in Jimin's muscles after a long day.

Jimin should have known that. And should've been careful with his act—or Yoongi would catch up on it. On things he had been trying to hide, even make Taehyung and Jungkook swore to secrency.

But it's hard.

It's hard when his friends cologne starts to mixed with food, making a weird combination towards his already sensitive nose. And it doesn't help that today was the day that his baby want to act and make his lives harder.

So he only sighs, tired .. and not thrilled about the conversation that going to happened as he found Yoongi outside Seokjin's bathroom door—Jimin doesn't want to think how long he had been standing there and probably has listened to him, to his gross gag throwing up his little lunch.

"Are you okay?", Yoongi asks, gaze trailing over Jimin's head to toe, making Jimin squirms uncomfortable as his hand secretly curled more possesively towards his middle. Hoping the dim light of Seokjin's bedroom and his loose cardigan and shirt combo would conceal his protruded belly enough. He's still early, it shouldn't showing a lot .. right?

"How long have you been here?", Jimin rasps, as he walks passed him and sit on the edge of the bed. Throwing up always left him a little bit dizzy, and for some reason, a whiff of Yoongi's cologne—that he used to love years ago—is making his stomach churn a little.

Yoongi walks slowly, a little hesitant to approach the younger. "Enough to hear you ... throwing up?"

Jimin sighs. He can feel that his baby isn't done. "I'm fine .. just today lunch not sitting well", he mumbles. It didn't sound convincing at all, but Jimin hopes Yoongi would let it go—along with him, maybe back to their friends in the living room ; so he can bring back his senses to normal and finish his "morning" sickness peacefully. But the hopes went into vain, as Yoongi takes Jimin's silence as an acceptance to sit beside him. His cologne waft in a small breeze as he plops into the soft mattress, and what he said before heightened the growing nausea, "Tae said that you have been sick a lot .. you sure it's only food not sitting right?"

Jimin scrunched his face, eyes squeezing shut as his brain torn in between wanting to murder Taehyung or run to the bathroom as saliva starts pool in his mouth and—"Uurrk", a gag escaped his lips, as Jimin tries to keep it down but couldn't as nausea was starting to rise. "Sorry", he croaked out, muffled under his palm before he run back to the bathroom. This time barely managed to close the door, as water already rushing pass through his lips before he even settled himself properly in front of the bowl.

"Uurrkkk—", a bigger wave of nausea rushed through him, and he threw up again in the toilet. "Oh my gosh."

He could almost feel Yoongi hovering behind him, worriedly patting his back like that mother hen, while muttering some words of comfort that Jimin didn’t bother to listen—his stomach didn't let him anyway. Only 2 heaves thats productive, mostly bringing out water, but Jimin still feel nauseous—like there's something bigger needed to out. But he doesn't know what.

He just feel so queasy, and it's annoying.

Yoongi stopped rubbing his back, as Jimin peels away from the bowl, resting his head over the seat. "Is there anything I can do?", Yoongi asks, as he quietly tidy up the younger's hair that falls and sticks over his forehead. He looks so pale .. and it clenched his heart.

"No ... i still feel nauseous", Jimin mumbles tiredly, grimacing as he coughed wetly and spit up a mouthful of watery vomit. "Gosh ..", he can't help but groans.

"Water?", Yoongi tries to offer, but it feels like a wrong one as Jimin shakes his head and immediately gagged without getting anything up. "Don't mention food or drink", he scolds after the wave passes.

Yoongi nods, pulling himself away slightly—not wanting to upset the sick male even more. They sat in silence for a minute or two.  Jimin coughed a few times, keeping his face aimed into the toilet. And Yoongi was only there, watching how Jimin keep aggresively rubbing his stomach, and how his heart would leap if some of cough morph into a wetter gag ; his instict to jump in motion and ready to pull his hair back and pat his back.

"You don't have to stay here .. you know", Jimin breathes out, barely can keep his eyes open too look at the latter. Every words feels like it was hard to utter, heavy and laced with sickness. Yoongi is worried—something is definitely wrong with his Jimin. "Namjoon hyung must've sear—", his words cut off as an intense wave of nausea comes, leaving him with a long, deep belch, and puke showered into the toilet. He began to cough again, gasping for breath. "Fuck ..", Jimin curses.

"Are you done?", Yoongi asked as he stand up, quickly wiping Jimin's chin clean with his sweater sleeve, avoiding the spot that Jimin spat, and took out a tissue to wipe the puke down. Jimin felt a little guilty at how Yoongi had wiped his mess, and that made him want to cry a little. "Want water?"

Jimin shakes his head, blew his nose, tossed the tissue into the befouled toilet, and flushed. "No .. i don't think i'm done yet. It will just come back up", he mumbles quietly. "You really should go back. They must have been searching for you. I will join in a minute", Jimin said, waving away the hand that tried to touch his shoulder.

Yoongi frowned at him, looking like he wanted to say something but decided against it. "I can go get an anti-emetic suppository, if you want," he said, completely ignoring Jimin's words. "Jin-hyung also must have something for stomachache"

Jimin's eyes widen. "No ..", he hisses, loudly than he expected. He coughs a little. "I already took one before coming here. It doesn't work today"

"Today?"

Jimin nods, taking a deep breath. "Can you open the window a bit? The smell is trapped here", he said, gesturing to the toilet. His throat was starting to feel like sandpaper by now. Yoongi opens the window, letting a cool breeze flow into the dorm, which seems to relax Jimin further.

"Don't think too much about it", Jimin mumbles tiredly.

Silence washes over them. And Yoongi feels awkward by it—he keeps looking over the younger, that currently counting his breathing. "You want to go to the doctor?"

Jimin scoffs, "Already went", he answers, and finally opened his eyes, locking gaze with Yoongi—and it was a fault as it's almost makes him want to breakdown and spill everything. "Stop fussing over me hyung .. i will be fine"

Yoongi sighs, rolling his eyes. "Stop pushing me away"

Jimin didn't get to retort back as nausea coming back. "Fuck ..", he breathes in, hoping that it would quell the wave so he didn't have to throw up. But he still propped himself back over the toilet, shoving Yoongi a little, that was sitting near to it. "I'm going to throw up again", he mumbles, feeling a lump forming at his throat. He closed his eyes again and hung onto the toilet seat as his body shook with a violent heave. Thick torrents of vomit showered into the water. Jimin paused, belched loudly, and threw up some more. "Hyung ..", he chocked out mid heave. "My stomach hurts"

The response was immediate, as Yoongi's arms suddenly wrapped around his shoulder, and Jimin's fingers that been gripping the seat pelled away, changing with Yoongi's hands. "Breathe .. it will be over soon, and you will feel better", he murmurs softly, stroking the younger's hair. Jimin barely can register everything as he's fighting with the ringing and pounding all over his head, along with the turmoil in his stomach, as he rocked with shuddering retches—chunks of vomit fell from his mouth and splashed noisily into the toilet again and again.

It takes him few minutes and tons of Yoongi's reminder to breathe and comforting words, before the heaving tapered off, leaving him exhausted but feeling slightly better. This round was more intense than the first, but over more quickly. Yoongi quickly guided him to rest against the bathtub and brought the younger a cup of water to rinse his mouth and flushed as he spit it back out. "Thank you ..", Jimin hums , closing his eyes for a moment before slowly opening them again, feeling dizzy still, but at least not nauseous anymore.

"Let me drives you home", Yoongi says, trailed behind him as Jimin stood up on shaky legs. A sudden tug at his arm made Jimin flinch before glaring at the older, who was already holding onto him tightly. "Please?"

Jimin could only sighs, all of his energy already flushed down the toilet, all he wanted to do is curled in his bed after drowning his morning sickness pills. He couldn't even dare to imagine how it would be sitting in his ex car and being sick on top of that. What if he throws up again in the car? No .. he can't let Yoongi saw him like that ever again. "No, dont ..", he answers, and immediately feel guilty when he sees Yoongi visibly deflates. "Just .. call Tae here, please hyung? I will go home with him"

Yoongi frowns, obviously confused but nodded anyways. Jimin could tell that the elder was reluctant, but he knows Yoongi won't push him. "Okay .. rest and wait here", he says, and Jimin nodded silently before plopping to the bed, closing his eyes as exhaustion creeping up to him, while he listens to Yoongi's footsteps and the closed door.

***

"You and Yoongi hyung WHAT?", Jungkook shrieked, his sandwich that already halfway going to his mouth halts in the air. Jimin rolls his eyes, before giving the youngest pinch in his arms, causing him to yelps. "Hyung!"

"That's you and your boyfriend fault", Jimin sulks, taking a sip of his pregnancy milk in his tumblr and biting a little of cookies. That's all he managed to eat today. His morning sickness hasn't eased up yet. "I already told you that i'm not feeling good, but you insist for me to go"

"Sorry hyung ..", Jungkook pouts, chewing down the sandwich, as he realized that their lunch time is limited. "You know hyungs always want us to be complete as seven .. Namjoon hyung about to leave too, you would be sad if you're not seeing him, right?"

Jimin sighed. Jungkook is too cute. "I know .. it's just .. you know, i'm afraid that Yoongi hyung might know", he mumbles quietly, looking down to his stomach, and rubbing it gently.

"Would it be so bad if he knows .. hyung?", Jungkook asks carefully. "He's still Yoongi hyung .. you know he won't do anything ill to you and the baby. He would feel happy", he continues.

Jimin shrugged, "Happy? Or he would cursed me out and keeping us secret as it would damage his career"

"You know hyung won't—"

"Hyung won't .. but his agency?", Jimin mutters softly. Jungkook's lips form a thin line, his eyes darken. He knew what that meant, but there was something stopping him from telling Jimin this. Something that stopped him saying 'don't' or 'you'll regret it'. He knew that Jimin wouldn't give up on Yoongi.

And vice versa. They just need to talk, but they both so stubborn.

Jungkook takes a deep breath, "Just .. tell him hyung. It doesn't have to mean or laced with anything. It's better if he knows from you, not from anyone else", he says, putting a little emphasis on the last two words. "We are all friends.

Jimin gives him an unreadable look, then nods. "I will remember that, Kook, thank you", he smiles, ruffling the younger hair before standing up back to the counter.

"You need help?", Jungkook asks, patting the sandwich crumbles off his apron as well, "No, it's fine", Jimin waves him off, and starts welcoming the customers as the bell above the door ringing.

***

Jimin thought he was fine. The calculated and small portion of food he consumes today, along with his prescription shouldve make him feel fine. But maybe because it was hot, and customers went in and out so fast this afternoon, he starts to feel bad.

Jimin huffs.

His feet hurts from standing for too long. He starts to feel dizzy and queasiness also building up. A whole package. And like how the world likes to play a joke on him—Yoongi's song blasted through the convenience store. "Can you change it", he hissed, glaring at the youngest that strolling around the counter as his tasks in the back already done.

"No .. maybe the baby would recognize his father's voice", Jungkook giggles—and Jimin about to kick him on the shin but another customer comes barelling their groceries.

"Can you take over for a little", Jimin breathes out as the customer leaves. The shop is empty now. His dizziness has started to become unbearable. He feels nauseated again and his chest heaved as if he needs to puke again.

Jungkook frowns, "Are you okay hyung?", he asks, immediately standing up and circled his arms around the older waist ; guiding him to sit on the small stool. "Dizzy .. and nauseous as usual", Jimin smiles weakly. "It's okay, i just need to sit down a bit", he mumbles, leaning against the cabinets as he starts to count his breath. Jungkook frowns, looking worried. "Should I get Taehyung?", he asks, and Jimin shakes his head. "No, don't"

Jungkook take a last look on him before another customer coming again. Jimin tuned himself out from all the noises around him. His stomach demanding too much of his attention. He keeps counting, breathing, but it feels like his baby wont compromised other solution than throwing up, as his mouth starts to feel bland and thick with saliva.

Jimin huffs, starts to fumble around searching for a bag to hold. Their bathroom is a bit far, he doesn't know if he could manage to walk there, and the nausea is almost unbearable now.

"Hyung", he hears Jungkook calling out, and Jimin turns towards the voice. "What are these for?"

"I think i'm going to puke", Jimin whispers, trying hard not to throw up on the floor. It feels as though his insides suddenly turned sour; his throat feels dry and his mouth tastes foul. He swallows roughly, and looks into Jungkooks wide, innocent brown eyes. "Want me to accompany you there?"

Jimin shakes his head, his fingers starts to hover around his lips as his throat growing tighter with every words he utter to answers Jungkook. "No .. hyung will be fine. Someone need to be here, shop still packed", he replies, his voice cracking. Jimin tries to swallow again. The urge to vomit becomes strong. "I will be back", he hurriedly says before quickly making a dash towards the bathroom, clutching tightly at the plastic bag he found earlier.

Just like what he predicted, his stomach fails to hold on as he only few steps away from the bathroom hallway. He was at the end of an aisle for something—he barely can acknowledged tons of products around him—when his stomach jumps, causing him to gag ; wet and immediately productive as his cheeks filled with milk he drank earlier. He panickly look around, before shoving the bag over his mouth when it's empty of people around him. He bends his body down to hide himself under the aisles as he gurgling out gush of milk mixed with vomit, waiting for the wave of nausea to stop hitting him. He was really sick.

His ears ringing, as his focus tunelled down into his stomach that preparing itself for the next wave, when someone crouched beside him. "Jimin-ah?"

Jimin opens his eyes, to see Yoongi hovering over him, concern written all over his face, even though it covered with mask and head down baseball cap he loved. "Are you okay?"

Jimin gasps, shaking his head in one move as taking a deep breathe—barely can utter a proper answers when his stomach rolls, forcing more of its content down his throat until he feels his legs wobbling. He tried to stand up—he knows that he's not finished yet, and throwing up in the aisle is gross— but his legs were wobbly, almost gave way, so he clutched to the man beside him. "Bathroom", he mumbles, biting down his lips from spilling his stomach content yet again.

He loves how fast Yoongi reflexes is, as he immediately make Jimin leaned most of his weight towards him and guided them both to the bathroom. Jimin feels like a mess—Yoongi barely open the stall open when Jimin already lunged forward and leans over the toilet bowl. He rocked slightly back and forth as waves of nausea swept over him, heaving up more of his last meal. "Jimin-ah .. breathe .." Yoongi murmurs quietly as he sighed and continued to rub his back as it jerked with one violent heave after another.

"Gosh ..", Jimin moans after vomiting the last of the disgusting things he ate, letting Yoongi push him back as he holds onto the rim for support. "Thank you," he muttered as his legs start to give in, his legs trembling uncontrollably and his body feeling extremely light. Yoongi took out some tissue and wipes Jimin's cheek. "We need to go to the doctor, Jimin-ah .. you thrown up a lot. And don't try to argue me because this is the exact condition like 2 days ago, and you definitely not feeling any better"

Jimin head is fuzzy. He's exhausted. The firmness that laced thick with desperate worry in Yoongi's voice didn't help his emotion that already on rollercoaster. "No .. i just want to go home", he mumbles, letting his head droop over the older shoulder and let him taking most of his weight again.

It feels good. Being in Yoongi's arms feels good.

"But—"

"No .. take me home. I can't stand anymore longer. I will tell you at home, promise", Jimin mutters against the fabric of his shirt. As always Yoongi doesn't push further, simply wraps Jimin's arms around his neck while carrying his feet, holding him close. And although Jimin isn't comfortable yet, somehow he feels completely safe, like he belong here. In the arms of the person he trusted most.

***

Jimin almost makes Yoongi turn around and drives them to the hospital, as he ended up throwing up again in the car. Only 15 minutes of driving. "Jimin .." Yoongi sighed as he takes the soiled bag and tossed it in the garbage in front of Jimin's apartment, waiting for the younger to get out of the car with a little energy he had left.

Yoongi clenched his fist—wanting nothing more than scooped the smaller man in his arms and help him upstairs, tucked him safe in his bed. But that would be crossing the line, right?

"Sshh .. you're fussing too much hyung", Jimin chuckles weakly, and Yoongi swooned. It feels like all the anxiety and adrenaline being washef off—how could someone still looking so pretty with pale chapped lips and after throwing up a lot?

"You look like you might pass out anytime soon, Jimin .. of course i will be worried?!", Yoongi scoffs, quickly wrapped his arms aorund the latter waist. "You want me to carry you up there? I have been working out, i think i can handle it", he offers—borderline serious and joking—and Jimin huffed, "Shut up hyung"

***

The conversation is put on halt—as Jimin immediately passed out, claimed by exhaustion and sickness after Yoongi peeled him off his work clothes, making him take his medicine, eat and refresh himself a little ; and Yoongi didn't have a heart to demand anything from the younger now .. or ever. He would definitely wait until Jimins is ready to tell him what's going on—he just need a vague answer, just to put his heart to calm, and he would be content. Another detail could wait ; wait until Jimin let him in.

Yoongi stares at the muted TV. It's almost 9pm now, and Jimin still fast asleep. He contemplates to make dinner and wake the younger up, but he feels like sleep isn't what Jimin get properly these past days with how sunken his cheeks and the darkness under his eyes. So he decides to put it off, and staying the night. In case Jimin needs him—he will deal with his anger later, if Jimin really despises him that much.

He just can't staying at home but being constantly worried sick about how Jimin is doing.

Yoongi sighs, pulling himself up as he strolls around the apartment. It's still familiar. Nothing really change, not even the guest room. It's all still the same as a year ago, before Yoongi take his warmth from here.

The only thing that feels foreign for him is sleeping on the couch. It's weird, and cold. And reminded him a lot of what he's here for. Just as a concerned friend. No longer a boyfriend that takes up the right side of Jimin's bed.

Yoongi takes another deep breath, sunk in himself deeper into the couch, and play with his phone to stop himself going downward spiral until sleep comes claiming him.

***

Yoongi didnt know when he was asleep, or how long it has been asleep. Maybe it was 2 hours or longer .. everything feels fuzzy. One thing he's sure is, the sun is not up yet.

He frowns, groaning as he feels his muscles ached from curling on the couch. Brain trying to work with force as it's still laced with sleep about what makes him wakes up, now.

Then he got the answers.

Yoongi heard someone coughing in the bathroom but didn't think all that much of it at first. He stays still, his sleepy brain trying think who and why they are coughing. It didn't take long before he heard the toilet flushed, which again was weird.

He jolts from his seat when the next thing he heard was coughing that grew more intense, and he suddenly realized that it wasn't only coughing. Someone in the bathroom was also retching.

"Jimin!", he yelps, hurried over the bathroom down the hall and almost slams the door open. He hurried over and opened the bathroom door.

There he is.

Jimin is squatting in front of the toilet, one arm wrapped around his belly and one hanging onto the seat.  His shoulders shook with a hoarse heave, and he heard liquid pouring into the toilet.

"Jimin-ah .. what's wrong?"

Jimin looked up to him with glassy eyes, before shaking his head weakly and turn his attention back to the bowl—gagging quietly without getting anything up.

Yoongi sits still, tucking the younger hair back and tracing his arms up and down the younger spine that covered with sweat. "How long have you been here?"

"I don't know", Jimin huffs. His breathe rippling the clear water. "I just woke up and ran here, thought would throw up but—mmm", he leaned over again, stomach curled inside as a gag echoes through the small room. This one brings a trickles of water, mixed with yellow bile that makes Jimin grimaces.

"You're empty .. there's nothing to bring up", Yoongi mumbles quietly.

"I know .. but eating something also ..", Jimin shuddered, his head bowed back, sitting more straight as he belched and drooled. "Fuck .. i feel awful", he curses, hands curling tight around his middle.

"Do you want water?", Yoongi offers, "It might help bringing something up, or you will hurt yourself"

"Mhm", Jimin breathes out, "A little"

Yoongi ruffles his hair, before standing up and fetch water from the younger nightstand. He winces when he heard another gag from the bathroom. Jimin stomach was basically empty at this hour, but that didn't stop his body from trying to empty it further. A thought of bringing him to the doctor flashed through his mind again.

"Here ..", Yoongi waits until Jimin stops swaying with nausea. The younger shakily takes the glass—only 2 gulps, and he shoved the glass back to Yoongi, as he lurched with a gurgling heave, and a flood of mush poured out of his mouth. "Hyung ..", he choked out in between, hands blindly searching for Yoongi's, before he gagged hoarsely for awhile, then ejected a shower of water again. There's nothing solid that he brought up. The flow stopped after just a few seconds, and he was left gasping and moaning once more.

"Better?"

Jimin shakes his head, curled over the cold tiles—that send Yoongi into a panic, "Jimin! What are you doing?! Let's get back to your room!"

"No ..", Jimin groans, "I still feel sick ..", he paused, a sour burp escapes his lips that makes him shivered. It feels gross. "I dont have energy to run back and forth. And bucket even makes me feel disgusting. I can't move .. dizzy and i think i will—", he quickly sits up and shallow gags echoes again, but nothing more than saliva dripped from his lips. "Puke if i move ..", he breathes out.

Yoongi swallows, his hand brushing away the sweaty curls away from the older face.

"Okay .. i will bring your blanket and pillow here. But can you tell me what's going on?", he asks carefully. "I'm really holding myself back from dragging you to the hospital, Min .."

Jimin snorts weakly. It sounds like a chuckle that is supposed to be laughingly, but instead came out as a strangled whimper. Then he took a shaky breath.

"Hyung.. i've been keeping something from you, haven't i?"

#bts sickfic #bts emeto #tw emeto #tw vomit #and again another mpreg fic #sick!jimin #caretaker!yoongi

[unethicalexperiments]

idk how to really start this but like. my mental state is just so exhausting like im so tired of it. theres no reason i should be this volatile theres no reason i should react to situations the way i do. just last night i had a weird (not even that bad) interaction with a stranger and it pissed me off so much i tried to kill myself. i wasn't sad or embarrassed i was just so furious over it, because it was a 10 second interaction and i couldn't explain myself to the other person, and i was just so fucking angry i was ready to physically hurt the other person over it well after i walked away. and then once i got home i was so upset that i got that unreasonably angry over a nothing interaction. and its not like i even got angry while i was still with the other person! it wasnt until after i walked away! there were only two thoughts circling in my mind for about 30-60 minutes after (idk im so bad at keeping track of time) that were just "why do i react to things like this" and "i just want it to stop hurting" bc thats the worst of it it just hurts so much. i swear im in physical pain after having breakdowns like that i feel hollow in my chest and obviously i dont have to say anything else about how much it emotionally hurts. i just want it to stop hurting. is that really too much to ask for? to not be in so much pain for just a little while? i guess i still havent come to terms with the fact that im disabled, because i still think of being disabled as someone who uses aids, even though i know invisible disabilities are a thing. i dont see other peoples invisible disabilities as being invalid, just really my own, because i still feel like im high enough functioning that i shouldnt consider myself disabled. i dont use mobility aids yet i dont take pain medication yet so therefore the literal brain damage i have isnt bad enough, im still fine. i kind of got off track but thats also part of it i guess. another thing that really gets me is the fact that i actually do have bpd, i was diagnosed by an actual doctor at 17 and its still a more than valid diagnosis. i feel like im in this constant cycle of "i have to get better because i cant keep living like this" and "i have to get worse so everyone else can see what theyve done to me". like last night i literally had to sit down and reread the dsm chapter on bpd to remind myself this is why youre like this. you do have this diagnosis its real and it is a problem. my 30 minute episodes of actively trying to kill myself to be followed by watching tv or something and laughing as if none of that happened. i still cant fathom not living like this, not having to go through this every fucking day. and then on the other hand i had a great interaction today at my job that made me feel really good about what i do and proving the work that i do is actually helping the community around me. and i felt on top of the world for like an hour, i felt great! and then another thing at work happened where i proved myself/my team to be right about something! which was also great! and i got another half hour of happiness. and then i get home and im reminded of how alone i am, how i really have no one to do or share anything with anymore. which is partially my fault and partially not! im not gonna act like im the most pleasant person to be around or that im easy to deal with, but fuck, man, i try. and it always feels like no one else is trying. i cut my own hair for the first time a few weeks ago; it came out great! and had no one to tell about it.

and now im just staring at a wall over all of it. none of the bad stuff happened none of the good stuff happened. im gonna get violently angry later and im gonna be nearly euphoric later, its just another day. and i want to change i want to change my lifestyle so bad but how can i do that without any help. i spent years of my life begging for other people to help me and got ignored, which resulted in my disability. i tried so hard to fix it on my own but i couldnt! im not a doctor! and now ill never be because i couldnt finish my pre-med classes because of my disability! i feel like im constantly screaming at the top of my lungs and waving red flags shouting please for the love of god someone help me every day and every day nothing changes. they say you cant help someone who doesnt want to be helped, but has anyone actually tried helping people before? youre telling me you cant problem solve? you cant find a different road to a solution, just because we cant take the easiest one? im sorry that its not easy for everyone else to help me, but how does anyone else think i feel?

but whatever. im fine now. i relived every emotion i went through while writing all that but im fine now. now that its all out there its all out there, out of my system. i dont care anymore. because it didnt matter. because it doesnt matter. none of it matters. it happened and its gonna happen again. ill go through these cycles again tomorrow and the next day and the next week and the next month and the next year and so on. it is what it is i guess. but does it really have to be.

#talking to myself #content warning for like. borderline personality disorder. i guess. #this is just a wall of text bc i wont go back to therapy no one feel obligated to open or read this

[whatsnothappening]

stopped my last entry bc i didnt really have much to say but heres whats up PT.2

So i thought id send him a text. "happy new years dad, i love you and miss you. i hope you have a good night" ... nothing. i dont get a single text. normally he either calls right after and makes sure that i am okay and that i am having fun. just nothing. i text my mom and she is all smiles and having fun. a few days go by after new years. i dont know if it was someone in the group or someone at the bar but we all ended up with covid. i also, was just dealing with shit mentally. i dont know if it was because of the new year and i felt like i had to have my life figured out and have this drawn out plan or maybe it was the weird shit with my dad. i have no clue. but i was mentally fucked. my dad sends me a weird text just saying that he hasnt heard from me (yes you have) and that i seemed weird on christmas (well duh) i text back explaining that i have had a rough time mentally recently and that i am sick....nothing..again. i am livid at this point. all of the times that i have supported him and made sure to hype him up and have deep conversations with him and talk about our future and our goals just as humans and how to be better. just fueled me up more. i was done. so done. then fastforward again, i am finally feeling good enough to go back to work. i was pretty much sick for all of januarary. plus me and my friend were going to the gym and i was just riding a high. well i am at work a nice pretty busy day, i have a quite a few requests. well in comes my step mom. she asks for the keys to my car? she says she just has goodies for me and wants to leave them in there and to try them on and let her know if i like them or not. i thought it was EXTREMELY random, but fuck ill take free clothes lol. she asks me how ive been i say good and apologize for not being around and explains that i was very sick and that this round of covid royally kicked my ass. well she goes on home and tells my father who i guess gets pissed that i did tell him i was sick and writes me a shit ass text about how i dont reach out to him. well it goes both ways bud. you have no issue texting my husband about golf? whatever. anywhoooo.. hes come around and has started reaching out again. and we have been texting. well i would love to spend time with him and all of us have a family day but my ass is sick yet again. so i dont know. i am just so happy that he is reaching out again. she wanted me to have a conversation with him about the drinking but i truly dont feel that i need too... mainly because i have seen the signs that i need to look out for when he is going through it. i havent seen any of those. i lived with that my hole child hood i can notice this shit with only spending 5 minutes with him. and she does tend to be a bit dramatic. seriously... so i am going to take it with a grain of salt and just make sure that he is happy and catch up with him and make plans to spend time together. it just really is important to me. i hate the saying. but i am 100% a daddys girl. i love my dad so much. so anytime i get to spend with him is so important and so fun. i think thats one reason why christmas was so miserable for me because literaly any time with my father is an amazing time. its always so fun and so positive. i mean he is just such a positive fun guy. so me being so miserable and feeling uncomfortable and not being able to spend time with him. that fucking sucked. but hey one of my resolutions this year was to start thinking postively and stop dwelling on the negative shit. its hard to keep up with that but im getting better at it. but ontop of that, im really proud of myself because i have started going back to the gym! i missed a couple of weeks due to being sick. but i am still motivated to go! one thing i want to work on is discipline more than motivation. you can have all the motivation in the world to do something and still not succeed at it. you need to have the discipline to really give it your all and be consistent. and discipline is one thing i 100% lack. but ill get there. today is wednesday. continued-

[mitts2002]

Aight’ Bet

Hi this is my first time posting on here so I hope whoever is reading this enjoys!! This is a noritoshi kamo x reader where the nori and (Y/N) need a little push from their wonderful Gojo sensei to finally confess~

"Dont you think (Y/N) and noritoshi would make the cutest couple!?" Gojo screamed over the phone to Utahime who sighed in response.

"I can't help but disagree Gojo, Noritoshi doesn't seem ready for a relationship plus is the only reason you rang me really to discuss our students non existent love lives?" Utahime retorted knowing that the couple would in fact be adorable yet refusing to accept that Gojo could actually be right about something.

"No Utahime! I bet if them two were able to spend a few hours together the tension would build up so high that one of them would burst and BAM a couple would be born" the blue eyed male replied, the volume of his voice increasing with each word trying to convince her that they were the highschool sweethearts the jujustu world needed.

“How could you even say that!? I get that its cute whenever they glance at each other and shy away with cute little blushing cheeks but i bet it would take more than a few hours for a whole relationship to-” “OH you bet“ Gojo interrupted an obvious smirk on his face knowing Utahime wouldn’t back down from his advances.

“you know what i meant idiot i wasn’t actually trying to make a bet with you especially after what happened last time” the black haired woman scoffed after hearing a chuckle through the phone.

“Aight’ bet! tomorrow ill bring my second years to kyoto for some training and then lets see if something happens between our precious students“ Gojo proposed excitedly as if he were a child in a sweet shop.

“you know what fine! and im only agreeing cause i know nothings gonna happen tomorrow between them i mean noritoshi is too stiff and (Y/N) always backs out last minute” utahime exclaimed not wanting to prove Gojo right. “GREAT! if i win then you will have to be my slave for 2 whole days and if you win ill be your-” “wait i never agreed to that!” “see ya tomorrow then!” Gojo had quickly rushed his farewells before hanging up relieved he avoided Utahime’s lecture.

"Alright class!" Gojo sensei yelled excitingly as he burst through the doors. This overgrown man child always had something new, it could never be a regular class where his students actually learn then were let out for a break. No Gojo Satorou had to be the most extra male on this earth and for the first time ever it worked in his second year student (Y/N)'s favour.

"What it is now?" Maki groaned with an annoyed expression on her face. No one could blame her though after all the blindfolded man put his beloved students through. "Don't be so sour maki! Be like me a sweet little mochi~ Oh and before I forget I wanted to let you all know that we will meeting with our lovely sister school for some training. Isnt that great!?" Gojo sensei had announced clapping his hands and smiling brightly.

'I wonder if training is all this is' (Y/N) thought to herself realising how sus this situation was before speaking out "wait Gojo sensei weren't we meant to learn a super secret technique today? You said that you were gonna show it us yesterday and that nothing could stop you" (Y/N) questioned as Inumaki gave a little "shake" for support.

"Well my dear (Y/N) something VERY important has come up and we must go to kyoto immediately. You have no right to deny and we will be leaving in 30 minutes so go grab whatever you kids need" Gojo sensei had practically sung before skipping out the door. What an odd man everyone collectively thought before getting up to grab whatever they needed.

30 minutes has passed and in that time panda had gathered his and maki's weapons while you and toge stocked up on cough medicine and basic medical equipment. The journey was short since Gojo had practically teleported you all there and all that was left was to approach the students.

A few figures from the distance were slowly coming into view and (Y/N) could vaguely make out that only utahime, miwa, mai, momo and noritoshi had attended this last minute joint training.

Despite the others reaching and gathering around your small group of second years giving their greetings the only thing your eyes could focus on was noritoshi’s thick black hair as it gently swayed in the breeze. Honestly it was as if the man was in a L'Oréal advert or something.

"(Y/N) stop staring we all know you both have this weird thing going on but we're here to train not flirt dumbass" Maki had whispered into your ear but little did she know that you were in fact here to flirt and not train due to a certain bet between two teachers.

“alright kids listen up! me and the wonderful Utahime sensei have set up this last minute training as its always good to train with new people and techniques. Everyone will be working in pairs“ Gojo announced before Utahime continued.

“The teams we decided on today will be Maki and Miwa, Momo and Imumaki, Panda and Mai then (Y/N) and Noritoshi. Eveyones free to do whatever they want in their sparring matches just don’t severely injure each other, me and Gojo will be watching over the matches and determine the winners“ Utahime informed all the students before they scurried off to in different spaced out areas.

"So Noritoshi how are you? Its been a while since we've last seen eachother" (Y/N) said trying not to let her nervousness show.

"I'm alright just studying and training to be honest. Although I recently started to practice cursive and can even write my own name now" he responded with pride and a small nice.

You laughed causing Noritoshi to cock his head to the side in confusion. "Is there something wrong with cursive?" His deep voice asked with clear offense.

"No no it's just that's so freaking cute and you look so happy about it too" (Y/N) teased with more laughter and ruffled his hair

"Oi don't touch my hair do you know how long it takes to do these wrap bang things?"

"Well how would I know I've never done them nori"

"Well one day I could teach you if you'd like" Noritoshi offered looking to the side trying to hide his red cheeks.

"Aww I'd love that I'm awful at doing hair to be honest so learning some new styles would be great but first we gotta get this dumb sparring match over and done with" (Y/N) moaned as she got into position.

_______________________________

An hour had flew by and the students were taking a break from their matches happily chatting away while the teachers spoke in private about their progress. “come on look at the way they look at eachother OH (Y/N) touched his shoulder SHES FLIRTIN-” “GOJO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR SO DAMN LOUD” “sorry but loooook they in love” Gojo cried out with fake tears in his cerulean eyes

“Alright lets just observe look theyre going to the vending machine to get some drinks like FRIENDS DO“ Utahime emphasised on the friends worried she might lose and become this awful mans slave for 2 days.

_______________________________

“Nori im gonna go get a drink from the vending machine do you want one?” “Actually ill just come with you if you dont mind” “OH sure thats fine does anyone else want anything!?” (Y/N) yelled to the whole group receiving a choir of get me this please or get me that and the single tuna mayo.

The walk to the vending machine was quiet but a comfortable silence had fallen upon the pair. It was always like this when you were around Noritoshi Kamo. Peaceful. She didnt feel the need to go the extra mile to entertain him or ensure he wasn’t bored in your presence as your playful banter and sarcastic remarks towards one another was enough for the both of you. 

“(Y/N) is it me or have Gojo and Utahime sensei been staring at us more than the others?“ Noritoshi questioned unable to shake off the feeling of being watched. “Um i’m not too sure i havent been really paying attention to anything other than yo-“ Embarrasment washed over (Y/N) as the words flew out of her mouth before she could stop herself.

“Is that so?“ Nori smirked slightly as you swore you could drop dead right here in this moment. “No i just meant that” “Meant what?“ Noritoshi interrupted leaning closer as you fumbled through your words

“OH LOOK the vending machine is right there better get those drinks“ You quickly said and scrambled away before Noritoshi could get any closer.

“SEE Nori was too intimidating and (Y/N) ran off despite clearly wanting him! its never gonna happen today“ Utahime whispered to Gojo benhind the bushes as he shook his head. “Trust me i have faith in my wonderful (Y/N) I AINT RAISED NO BITCH“ He exclaimed in response while Utahime facepalmed.

The two young adults had collected all the drinks they needed and were ready to walk back to the group. ‘come on (Y/N) you’ve liked this man forever now and everyone knows he must like you back ITS NOW OR NEVER HOE’ (Y/N) screamed words of encouragement to herself before grabbing Noritoshi’s sleeve.

“Is everything alright (Y/N)?” “I have something ive been meaning to tell you Nori, I um like you a lot and i’d like to take you out if you dont mind” (Y/N) had practically yelled at the poor boy because of her stupid nerves and adrenaline.

The silence was broken by an angelic laughter coming from none other than Noritoshi Kamo. “Well i would’ve liked to be the one to take you out but i guess sometimes its alright for traditions and stereotypes to be broken by the younger generation” Nori responded as he walked closer to (Y/N) wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a sweet kiss. The kiss was messy and clearly new to the both but filled with much love and passion that was finally being expressed by the pair.

As their lips eventually pulled away never wanting this to end, heavy breaths filled the air and cheeks flushed but all that was interrupted by a white haired male clapping in the background screaming “YES I WIN” while the other teacher crouched to the ground tears in her eyes.

#kamo noritoshi #noritoshi kamo x reader #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #jujustu kaisen #jjk noritoshi

[bridgyrose]

“Wait, you’re serious?” Ruby smiled a bit after finding out about Penny. “I thought I was going to be alone.”

Penny nodded nervously. “Normally I’d keep it a secret, but since you’re here anyway, its not like I can hide it.” 

“Dont worry, your secret’s safe with me.” 

“Thank you.” Penny sat down as she waited for her own appointment. “You’re going into robotics, right?” 

“Yeah.” Ruby started pulling her notepad out of her bag. “I’ve made a few rough sketches… well.. I guess sketches are a bit kind to call it. More like poked holes in the paper to make an outlined design.” 

Penny smiled and took the notepad to look at them before feeling where the holes were. “You know you could probably find something that’s easier to use for drafting your sketches.” 

“Normally I’d just use the voice input of a computer, but mine had a slight mishap with a fish tank a couple weeks ago.” 

“Well, if you need a new one, I’m sure we can get the school to provide one for you. And I’m sure Weiss-” 

Ruby frowned a little. “Weiss?” 

“Yeah. Her uncle is the headmaster. She could convince him to allow you a replacement laptop if it’s easier.” 

“I can do things on my own. I dont need help.” 

Penny watched as Ruby put her notepad away. “Right. That’s what the schools are supposed to do though, right? Help the Veiled as they need by offering guides, equipment, and programs to find a soulmate.” 

Ruby sighed. “Maybe I dont want the help and maybe I dont want to find my soulmate.” 

“But what if your soulmate wants to find you?” 

Ruby looked at Penny for a moment, hesitating. “Why do you care?” 

Penny shrugged. “Just a question.” 

Ruby sighed and grabbed her pack, digging through it again, still trying to keep up the lie that she couldnt see while around Penny. “Sorry, I guess I’m just a little on edge about things. Apparently Weiss is my soulmate. I wasnt exactly fond of the fact that she continued to try to push it.” 

“I guess that’s understandable. Although, I’m sure she just wants you to be happy.” 

“And I’m happy being by myself. Hell, the only reason I’m here is because my mom wants me to find my soulmate. Now that I have, I just want to spend the rest of my schooling by myself so I can focus on my classes.” 

Penny nodded a bit as she listened to Ruby. “You could always give her a chance though. Weiss just means well.” 

“You’ve… you’ve talked to Weiss about all of this before, havent you?” 

Penny hesitated for a moment as she realized what she said. “W-well… I mean, I’m just guessing-” 

Ruby pulled her white cane out of her bag and started walking off. “I’ll just reschedule my appointment. If all you’re going to do is try to convince me to go with her, I’m done here.” 

Penny sighed as she watched Ruby walk off, feeling a bit disappointed in herself. “There you go Pen, making things worse…”

Ruby grumbled a bit to herself as her vision started fading again. She quickly pulled out her scroll and started putting the school’s address back into it, making sure to put the sound up so she could hear the directions. “Great… I have two soulmates and both of them keep being weird about it…” She sighed as she heard her scroll start to ring once more. She looked at the name just as her vision faded, smiling a bit as she answered. “Jaune. Long time no talk.” 

“Hey Rubes, how’s everything going in Atlas?” asked Jaune. 

“Things… arent going so great.” 

“Want to talk about it?” 

“I...I dont even know where to start.” Ruby sighed and used her cane to find a bench so she could sit down and talk. “I get why my mom wanted me to come here but… I’m not so sure it’s the right choice.” 

“Dont worry, I’m sure things will start looking up for you soon.” Jaune smiled a bit. “We all miss you. Things arent quite the same without our little goofball to keep things sane.” 

Ruby chuckled a little bit at the thought of Jaune missing her. “Is Nora not keeping you busy enough?” 

“...right… you havent heard.” 

“Heard what?” 

Jaune sighed. “Nora and Ren moved back to Mistral.”

“Oh… When did that happen?” 

“The beginning of the school year.” 

“Oh. So I guess you’re alone then…” 

“Not completely. I did meet Pyrrha the other day.” Jaune’s voice started to sound a bit flustered as he thought about her. “I cant believe I finally met my soulmate. What about you? Figured out who yours is?” 

Ruby rolled her eyes a bit. “Unfortunately.” 

“So, what are you going to do about it?” 

“I’m… I’m not sure. They both seem to be acting weird about the whole soulmate thing and… I dont know, maybe Yang is right and this is all a phase and everything will finally click with me.” 

“Look, Rubes, you are who you are. Who cares if everyone else thinks it’s a phase? I mean, your family isnt exactly reliable on figuring out who you are. I know they all finally came around to you being trans, and they’ll come around to you not wanting to be in a relationship. Let them think it’s a phase until they realize that it’s really you. Then they’ll have to accept it. But you’re going to have to explain more on this “both soulmates” thing. You have two of them?” 

Ruby nodded. “Yeah, I do. Although, I’m not sure one of them realizes it yet.” 

Jaune paused for a moment. “Why not tell me what you know about them? You know, just to get things out in the air.” 

“Is that the real reason?” 

“Alright, maybe I’m a little interested in seeing who could possibly end up literally bringing sight to your world.” 

Ruby smiled a bit. “How about I get back to my dorm, and then I can tell you all about them.” 

“That’s more like the Ruby I know.” Jaune kicked back in his chair, leaning it as far as he could. “And then the real gossip can begin.” 

“Only if you tell me about this Pyrrha girl.” 

“Deal.” 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weiss slumped onto her desk. “Well, we royally screwed that one up.” 

Penny hugged Weiss from behind. “It’s not the end of the world. We can still try to get to know her.” 

“You said she doesnt want to do anything with soulmates. Which means, she wants nothing to do with me.” 

“Maybe you could go talk to her and apologize.” 

Weiss sighed and sat up a bit. “Right… apologize. That’s… that’s not going to fix this.” 

“But it’s a start,” Penny replied. She pulled away from Weiss for a moment, smiling at her. “It might not fix anything, but it’ll at least let her know that you want to try to figure things out. She might not want to do anything about soulmates right now, but that doesnt mean we can just be her friends.” 

Weiss nodded, listening to everything Penny was saying. “Okay, you have a bit of a point. I’ll go talk to her tomorrow after classes end and start apologizing.” 

Penny kissed her. “Everything will work out for you.” 

“I know. I’m just worried I’ll be rejected.” 

“So what if you are? You still have me.”

Weiss smiled and pressed into Penny. “You’re right. I still have you.” 

#ruby rose #rwby ruby rose #weiss schnee #penny polendina #jaune arc #veiled soulmate au #ruby x weiss x penny #frosen steel

[maschotch]

Okay I saw your Hotchreid opinion, and as someone who DOES love Hotchreid, I also totally understand your take! (And yes I know I probably need therapy and I defs have father issues but moving on)

I could never see Hotchreid done in canon. That would be gross and ick and wouldn’t work. I have no like for that and do not want to see it done.

However, I love it in (certain fics) because it’s not normally what I’d gravitate towards, but it has this weird sense of safety attached to it for me. I think it’s partly because Hotch and Reid are very respectful towards each other, understand (to a certain extent) what they’ve been through. They’ve both dealt with change in a similar way, their backgrounds as abused and neglected children make them more similar than different, and they have this ultimate trust in each other. Spencer knows that Hotch understands him when he tries to get his attention in Revelations, Hotch confesses to Reid about his divorce issues with Haley.

I dunno, i think it’s a ship based on a lot of mutual respect, and a kind of unspoken of bond that is totally different from any other relationship they have with others on the team. Hotch has a way of seeing right through Reid where others don’t (or they refuse to look properly *cough Gideon cough*). I also think the love between them (however you want to see it like platonic or family love or whatever) it’s a lot more hidden than any other relationship again. It’s not in your face like Morgan and Garcia. It’s subdued.

So that’s just my VERY LONG take. Take that as you will!

Will!

that makes a little more sense to me. thinking about it as something thats not really for canon but just as a little thing on the side to enjoy is understandable. i guess i can see how that would be sweet.

still not my cup of tea, but it helps me understand a little better.

yeah the reason why i looooove talking about everyone’s relationship with hotch is bc its not really something thats explicitly said. he shows how he cares in very different ways, which is one of the reasons why i love him as a character.

his relationship with reid specifically is so so special and something i havent actually touched on yet so im gonna expand a little lol. i like them for the same reason i like hotch garcia.. but i think its more onesided. i think hotch is very aware of how spencer works and what he needs, but i dont think reid knows nearly as much about hotch. i think that partly for the same reason i think jj doesnt understand him: it’s the teacher after school. he’s an authority figure and its some level of respect to not analyze them and pick them apart. (which now that im thinking about it why only the characters with authority issues are able to get to know him--they’re not as worried about respecting him as a superior, but they’ve each learned to respect him as a person. which makes it easier for them to follow orders and stuff: bc they trust him). so its not that reid doesnt care about hotch, i just think it takes him a long time to feel comfortable analyzing him like that.

id also like to admit that im not above a little dabbling in unhealthy content. i have my own little things that i would never advocate for irl or even suggest in canon but still just like to think about.

#asks #as someone in therapy i highly recommend it #wait till ur ready tho. it took me 4 tries before i actually genuinely tried to put effort into it and thats when it started helping #cm discourse

[iscribble]

pairing | youtuber!renjun x student!reader genre(s) | fluff, slice of life, strangers to potential lovers, college au word count | 1.8k summary | you’re always the type to be punctual, so it takes you by surprise that you’re willing to give up your time for something else - someone else, rather; a stranger.  author’s note | havent written in so long that i just had to put something out there. im really sorry for being so inactive! :( 

An extended but lonely crack slithers down the bathroom mirror, grazing your reflection on the glass that is opaque with moisture. Through the corner of your eye you perceive one-fourth of the aged, spreading tree outside your apartment whenever the old creaking door swings open with the wind. The quiet—but prominent—plop of the water that leaks through the apertures on the pipe hits your ears, and it is only after a while that you find it fills the little space between your toe and the tip of your shoe. The leak doesn’t bother you though. Neither does the crack, nor the random wind gusts. A yellow lip balm bounces in your palm, cap greasy from applying too much on your finger. You would exchange a mere lip balm for a heat pack, but you put it on anyway. The harsh cracks on your lips are now tucked away underneath a tacky layer of cream, and you find it amusing how easily it wears away. 

You are late, for the first time in months. Nothing really bothers you as much as glancing at the clock and seeing its hands where you least expect them to be.

In your defense, it was an afternoon class. You don’t usually have afternoon classes unless your professor needs to reschedule, which, inevitably, resets your agenda for the rest of the day. You, on the other hand, are not used to rescheduling. So when you can’t feel the warm shaft of sunlight skim across your eyelids, instead, only the feeling of cold air brushing past your skin and the faint sound of your alarm, you jolt awake, guilty of sleeping in. You try not blame yourself though—this doesn’t happen everyday and you are still not used to it. 

The station is disposed with a boring facade and a duller interior. The giant vintage clock shows 15:18. The three seater bench still holds too many people.  There is that man with the navy-coloured down jacket behind the counter, uninterested in the regulars who flock to their respective platforms. These are the same sequences, the same faces, like people are helpless boats going with the current. You scrunch up your nose, admitting you are one of them too. 

You make your way inside the train, opting to sit near no one else. It takes a while for you to settle down, but when you do, you catch someone looking at you. Harbor gray coat, brown hair, black mask. You don’t recognise him anywhere on campus. You think maybe he attends one of the afternoon classes, but you don’t assume further. 

15:29.

You leave the train with a spring in your step, but not out of enthusiasm. The familiar crisp white frontage of the building comes into view, your heart skipping a beat as you think of the worst that could happen upon stepping inside the lecture hall. One strap of your tote slides down your shoulder, and just as you are about to pick it up, the other strap goes loose and drags your bag down with it. A couple of coloured pens roll out, you grumble to yourself and crouch down to stop them from rolling any farther. You fail at this, when you turn around to pick up a blue pen and realise that someone else beat you to it. The stranger from the train. 

“Got it,” he chuckles, and you feel embarrassed. He returns your pen, but his eyes don’t stop at your hands. His gaze lowers a short distance, you’re almost sure he’s looking at the brick road beneath you, but you’re not really sure why. When you stand back up he vaguely shakes his head, like he’s been thinking about something else, but you don’t miss it.  

“Thank you,” you say, too fast that it almost sounds insolent. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he returns with a smile behind his mask. “I’m Renjun, by the way.” He extends his hand for you to shake. What’s he doing? Why's he acting like he’s about to proceed with an interview or something?

You learn that he really does want to “interview” you. “I’m a youtuber,” he informs. It is only then that you realise someone else is standing behind him, occupied with a camera. 

“Oh,” you eventually reply, but nothing else. He waits for the typical “that’s cool!” but you are too quiet, Renjun can practically hear someone making a fuss about her peppermint hot chocolate being too hot in the distance. “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions? It’s for a youtube video.” He speaks up. You say nothing at first. Your fingers that hide underneath the rib-knit cuff curl into a ball. You feel the crack that litters your lower lip flaunt itself, the thick lip balm that conceals it long gone. You seem even more conscious of your worn out shoes that somehow feel damper than they already are. Putting your weight on one leg, you try your best to decline him in the most mannerly way possible. 

“I’m really sorry but I’m actually late to class.”

You can’t see his smile but you know it falters. His glasses droop a little, you see the red marks on the bridge of his nose. “I see.” Is all he says. He looks back at his friend and shrugs. “Thank you, anyways.” Your stomach churns. You don’t want to be the reason he leaves empty handed, yet he is leaving, empty handed and all. Somehow, your concern for punctuality slowly withers away.

“No, wait,” you catch his fingers just before he turns the other way. He winces. Not because of the sudden swell of your voice, but because your hands are a little too cold. You steal a glance at the watch on your wrist. 15:32. Renjun finds your eyes. He doesn’t say it, that your hands are too cold, but he takes them in his own, warming them up. Strangely enough, your whole body heats up at the gesture. 

“Class can wait, whatever. What’d you want to ask me?”

Renjun’s eyes all but light up. He signals for his friend to start filming. “Alright, a few questions about college, I’m going to try and guess your major.”

“Oh, that’s new,” you raise an eyebrow. “Did you come up with the idea?”

“Nah,” Renjun laughs, he brings up a hand to push his hair back. “Just following a trend.”

15:33. You nod. “Alright, go on.”

You notice a few things about Renjun. The way he speaks, like you’ve known each other for a long time. The way his hair isn’t exactly brown, rather russet, a little red. When you look closer into his eyes, you see they match his hair. You wish you could see his lips, see if they’re as cracked as yours, if he puts lip balm on a little too much, but the black mask he wears that almost reaches his eyes tells you it’s too early for that. Perhaps, if he lowers the article just a few inches, you’ll understand that the circles beneath his eyes mean that he’s equally as tired as you. He asks you questions, not rushed, and though you are definitely late to class, you couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore.

“Might have an idea,” he looks to the camera tentatively, then back to you. “Chemistry?”

“You’re good,” your compliment reaches his ears. “How’d you guess?”

Renjun punches the air in glee as if he won the lottery. “Honestly, couldn’t get a single clue from what you said. But I saw your Analytical Chemistry book peeking out from your tote when it fell.” 

“Whoops, my bad.” You share a laugh. 

“And as a thank you for the—” he scrutinizes his watch, “—five minutes I just took from your time, this is for you.” A heat pack. You didn’t know how much you needed one until your hands reach for the item almost immediately.

15:38. You squeeze the pad as heat begins to radiate from it. Renjun’s friend lowers the camera as soon as you’re done filming, and it is then that Renjun seems like he has something else on his mind.

“Uhm,” he half-whispers. You look at him, confused. “Your shoes.”

You know what he means. Your shoes leave ambiguous trails of dirt, just slightly. Renjun notices it though. Your shoes are rather soggy, like they were deliberately dipped in water. Traces of soil scatter the outsole, centimetres up and you’ll see a small patch of fabric, sewn on to cover the hole that’s exposing your toes. You tremble slightly, bringing your right foot behind your left in an attempt to hide it from him. No one has ever pointed it out.

“Oh. They’re old, but, they work.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he scoffs lightly. “Let me buy you new ones.”

“No.” You realise that comes out too abruptly. “Please, that’s really unnecessary.”

15:39.

“You’re late to class,” he reasons with you. “At least let me make it up to you.” The obscure rift on your bottom lip bleeds a little. You like to bite it whenever you feel nervous. Renjun reaches for his phone in the pocket of his ivory trousers and hands it to you. 

“We can go over the details through text,” he subtly looks at his friend, wanting to know if the gesture is okay. “If you don’t mind, of course.”

15:40. You give in. Your fingers are stiff—you realise you’re giving your number to a stranger, so you take some time to secretly ponder over the situation, although you hate to admit Renjun feels more like a new friend. He sends you a message once you give him his phone back just to make sure you get his number. 

“Thank you,” you smile at him. “That’s really kind of you.”

15:41.

You hesitate before a hand comes up to wave at him and his friend, though the heat pack is still crushed between your fingers. Renjun pulls his mask down for the first time, and it would be weird to say you were waiting for it. For his smile. You can perceive through the white fabric whenever it shifts that he is smiling underneath there, but now it’s irrefutable, the evidence that he actually is smiling, and you’re glad that’s the last thing you see before the customary sight moulds into view, once again. 

If someone had told you this morning that you’d be willing to sacrifice your punctuality for a stranger, you’d knock some sense into them. But as you stand before the doors to the lecture hall, phone in your grip as you stare at the cerulean waters you fancy as your lock screen, no, rather, the notification that overlays it “let me know when you’re in class, i feel responsible lol”, the unusual feeling that blooms inside your chest reminds you that you could live a little less orderly and a little more self-willed.

15:43.

You’re thirteen minutes late. Though now, nothing really bothers you as much as not being able to concentrate in class because he’s all you can think about. 

#i hope this makes up for the five months ive been inactive lol #also!! #this is my first piece for nct!! #im actually reallyyyy into them <333 #some feedback would be greatly appreciated!! #huang renjun #renjun #nct #renjun scenarios #renjun imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream #nct x reader #nct fluff #renjun x reader #nct scenarios #dreamwritersnet #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #nct dream fanfic #renjun fluff

[volfoss]

how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny

#asks #wholesome mutuals #vento aureo spoilers #to add that bruno is one of my faves of all time is probably obvious by me putting him at 10/10 #fiance bullies me lovingly for liking leone so that is explanation 4 first bullet #he has not even met him but just calls him piss man #the fandoms treatment of most of these characters makes me really mad tbh

[1990jeevas]

I know you posted it days ago but you said something about wanting to rant about either karl or his fanbase and its been itching at my brain. Ive no clue whats happening or what is happening at all cause no one seems to be making clear points?? Or explaining anything?

Obviously you do NOT have to talk about it im sure it might be a sore point to rant because people can get SO needlessly rude to others over it. But if you want to idk explain? Just rant? Im definetly curious what it was over or about.

The "you dont need to talk about this" is amplified by the fact i am DAYS late and you are probably over it by now.

okay hi yes im happy to talk about this but i think i should preface with two things:

1) even tho it may seem like im biased towards him or being very defensive of him im actually a super casual karl viewer and the only reason i am super defensive of him sometimes is bc we act a lot alike irl and that is mainly because of our neurodivegency. when i say a lot i mean we share traits like "annoying" stimming (jumping around, making loud noises, repeating the same phrases until everyone is sick of hearing them), the difficulty reading situations, the very obvious issues with volume control and not just bouncing from subject to subject to subject as we fucking please. basically anything you've seen karl do on stream that is Very Neurodivergent ive done the same in my own way which is why i get defensive when i see people calling him annoying or saying they dont like him, usually for these types of reasons. that being said, when i say im a very casual karl viewer, i fucking mean it. i usually only watch him when he's streaming with other ccs i like or when he's doing chill alt streams bc even with the annoying donos, he's pretty relaxing and comforting when he's just fucking around by himself and he isnt trying to get as hype as he would on a main channel stream. so yeah, it may seem like im biased and sure, i guess i am on some level, but it's not coming from a place of me hyperfixating on him or me even loving him as a cc, it's coming from me being a neurodivergent who likes him just enough to get upset when i see people basically being casually ableist towards him.

2) i dont have all the facts or even a great understanding on what the fuck has been happening recently with his "drama"...mostly bc he talked about it on his priv, which im not on, and people are gatekeeping the tweets, as they always do, and basically making you "dm to see them" (which is already a problem in and of itself bc apparently in these tweets he said he didnt want them being ss and shared, yet they are being shared thru dms over and over and over again like. at that point just stop withholding the information and post the fucking shit, you clearly dont care that he said "dont share"). additionally, most of the threads ive seen on this situation havent actually explained the initial issue, just talked about his apology (a lot of people have said "it's bad" but havent said why and with no screenshots ((i havent asked for someone to dm me them and i still havent seen them posted, which is mildly surprising, but incredibly frustrating at this point)), i only have a few basic details i can actually assess it on) or they talked about the initial issue in very vague details so um. excuse me trying to explain this now, but ill try and make it make sense with how little ive actually pieced together.

(oh, also, here's my first rant about the ableism in this fandom which is way more broad. this is a pretty different rant from that one, but they're both pretty big reasons why i hate this fandoms treatment of karl)

so basically the problems started with mr beast being apart of a charity stream that donated either to autism speaks or to a similar company, im unsure on that part. im also unsure on if the people participating in the stream actually knew of this or not bc, from what i remember, the money was being donated to a separate organization that was like. under the bad company or some shit like that, idk how stuff like that works and also i read about this shit months ago bc this originally happened months ago and just sorta came to a head recently.

anyways, i think karl was supposed to be apart of this stream but pulled out of it right before (that or these were two separate streams and karl was supposed to participate in the first but pulled out while mr beast did both?? idk. regardless karl did not actually participate, just mr beast). from there people started doing the guilt from association bullshit they always do, this was also doubled by the fact that the chris being racist stuff came out sometime around then and basically he got dragged all over twitter for "being ableist" and "supporting racists" and i cant remember if he actually apologized when this originally happened or not. i vaguely remember him apologizing about something back then but i genuinely dont know if it was this or something else.

basically that died down eventually, a good chunk of people unstanned him but him and honktwt didnt end up getting the lovely lil technotwt treatment and they still havent yet, surprisingly. good for them honestly ajsksk

but now we get to the past few weeks and apparently something happened with him "laughing at someone saying the r slur" (it was mizkif, i believe), specifically when it was directed at other people, which is a big yikes, obviously, but when karl was called out for this a lot of people kind of. made this into a situation that it wasnt bc um. basically karl didnt laugh at it, he gave a few nervous giggles, as people often do when in a situation like that (and karl specifically said he does this in the one part of his apology tweet which i did stumble upon, although it wasnt the important part of the apology thread bc why would it be) and people fucking crucified him for it. they quite literally dragged a neurodivergent man for supposedly "laughing at the r slur" when he can literally reclaim it and also he was just nervous laughing.

and this is where the situation just gets really bad because they. basically forced him to admit that he was autistic on his priv to apologize for this. i havent seen the screenshots of him saying this, but i saw people discussing it and i am frankly so fucking pissed about this because sure, it was a bad situation, and i understand people wanting an explanation, but an apology? for a neurodivergent man nervous laughing at a slur he can reclaim? and then forcing the man to admit something he literally said in that tweet he didnt want people to know which is why people were being so gatekeepy about it while also LOUDLY discussing the situation, as if that wouldnt drive MORE PEOPLE to look for screenshots and ways to get ahold of this information? and then people had the audacity to call it a "bad apology" when they had quite literally just violated his privacy by forcing him to admit something that he shouldnt have needed to share in the first place if he didnt want to, which he didnt.

and this is why im so pissed off. karl is already constantly picked at and made fun of and called annoying for his neurodivergent traits, things which he literally cant help, things which are generally harmless, and now he was forced into a situation where he can now be further picked at and made fun of and called annoying bc they forced him to admit something private instead of just understanding and accepting that he had been nervous laughing at someone using a slur he has definetly been called for his neurodivergency.

tldr of my thoughts: yes i think karl needed to address this situation, it definetly looked bad, but twitter stans have this sense of entitlement with their ccs and because of that, they consistently take it way too far and harm the people they claim to care about so dearly. we've seen it happen time and time again with dream, but this is the first time ive seen them basically force someone to out themselves to make their apology "valid" and most of them still seem to not want to accept it anyways, which just makes me feel bad for him bc now that info is out their and people are just disregarding it to continue "holding him accountable".

anyways, i think that's all i can really say on this topic rn tbh, if anyone else knows this situation better please feel free to lmk clarifications and ill add them in since, like i said, i know fuck all thanks to twitter being so goddamn hush hush about the important details while simultaneously being the loudest mfers about how much they hate karl now instead of just fucking unfollowing and moving on.

thanks for the ask and im sorry if this is confusing!! i just think this is one of those weird situations where like. i think karl deserved some criticism for what happened and how he handled it or at least he shouldve been asked to address it but that just. isnt what happened, at all. he was harrassed. karl got harrassed and because of that he handled this situation even more sloppily than he probably wouldve and exposed private info about himself that he didnt feel comfortable doing and it just. fucking sucks tbh.

#shit self #asks #karl jacobs #discourse #fandom critical #mcyt fandom critical #dsmp fandom critical #ask to tag #ableism #only reason im even saying what he said in those tweets is bc this situation literally makes no sense otherwise and basically everyone on #twt already fucking exposed this shit to people in and outside the fandom by bitching #long post #bangerz

[awkwxrdapple]

“I’m Ok” - Peter Parker (Soulmate AU) Imagine

Summary: When Peter falls through the reader’s window, hurt and wearing the Spiderman suit, the reader learns two things. One that Peter Parker is Spiderman, and the other that she has a soulmate. (The lore of this specific soulmate AU is explained in the imagine :))

Word Count: 2.2k 

Warnings: Mentions of blood (Peter is hurt) 

Peter had gone missing again.

How he managed to skip so much class, and still remain at the top, astounded you. Yes, you were at Midtown too, so were naturally clever and bright, but you found you still had to put the effort in with studying to make sure you had the grades you wanted.  

He should have been in Physics with you this period. But his seat behind you was empty. You tried to focus on the practical that was part of your final grade, but you kept wondering and worrying, where Peter was. Why was he skipping class? His enthusiasm for learning has always been obvious throughout the time you'd been friends with him. Ever since the first day of high school when you'd both gone for the same seat in Math class, and he conceded graciously and let you take it, moving for a seat further back in the classroom. It was a weird encounter, rather awkward but at the same time... cute? You and him had become friends, along with Ned. Peter and Ned were very close, as you would expect two male best friends to be, but you and Peter were also close in your own way too. You couldn't imagine high school without him. And now, yet again, you were staring at his vacant seat.

After that period had finished, you found Ned at his locker in the hallway. He had Spanish with Peter next, so maybe he knew something. Maybe he knew that Peter would be back. You greeted him normally and then hit him with the question at hand.

"Ned have you seen Peter today?"

"Yeah I did first thing this morning, but I havent since. Why?" He asked, swapping a textbook from his locker to his bag.

"He wasn't in Physics." You state. "He's missing a lot these days. I'm worried about him."

You didn't mind admitting that. And you knew that probably Ned was too, if he didn't already know what was going on. But Ned's frown at what you had just said led you to believe that he knew as little as you did.

"I am too." He says, confirming your thoughts. "Whenever I ask him about it though, he just says he needs time off sometime. And he doesn't seem upset by anything, so I hope everything is fine."

You hoped everything was fine too. But this time you don't say it, just ponder silently on what Ned's said. You agree that Peter doesn't seem upset at all. If anything, he seems to have more energy. He still looks tired from time to time, but he seems to have more bounce in his step. Like he's been exercising more or something. Maybe that's what it is, Peter's decided he doesn't want to sit in a classroom for hours on end even though he enjoys learning, and that he'd rather be out running or something.

"Anyway, I'll see you later Y/N." Ned says with a smile, and trots off behind you to Spanish. You turn to your locker after watching him leave, and pull you gym bag from it. You go straight to the changing rooms as you might already be late after talking to Ned. As you expected, you are, as the changing rooms are deserted as everyone seems to already be in the gym.

Throwing your bag down onto the bench in front of your other locker, you realise how much time you had spent today thinking about Peter. You thought you were just worried about where he was, so you tried to stop worrying. But telling yourself to stop worrying was like telling a giraffe to stop being incredibly tall.

You pull off the shirt you were wearing and folded it to put into your locker. You caught a brief glimpse of your reflection in the mirror in the door. Your hair was already tied up off your face, you preferred it that way, made it more practical. But on your chest, right over your heart, were two words etched into your skin.

Soul-marks appeared sometime during childhood. No-one had yet worked out why, or when exactly they would appear for each person. It seemed to be random in timing, and showed no distinct pattern. Yours had appeared a few days after your eight birthday. You had overheard your parents discussing it one evening when they thought you were in bed. Neither could work out why then, and as you had yours so young, you didn't really notice it for most of the time.

They are sentences, or words, that are spoken by your soulmate to you, at the moment you realise you're in love with them. You're meant to know instantly that they're the one, apparently you just know.

Yours was staring back at you now in the mirror of your locker.

I'm ok.

You had always thought that was an odd mark, not that you had seen many others. People generally tended to keep theirs private, like it was a sacred thing that should only be shared between them and their soulmate, which you has figured made sense. But you had heard of peoples being their names, or lucky for others, their soulmates names. Some were dull sentences, some were peculiar.

You finished changing by pulling the shirt over your head and down your chest to cover your mark, and headed into the gym.

The rest of the day went fairly quickly considering your mind was wandering elsewhere. You tried to focus on the rest of your lessons but nothing was going in like it normally does. You couldn't throw yourself properly into anything.

As soon as the final bell of the day went, you started home and sent Peter a few texts on your way. You asked if he was ok, and if did need anything, that you would want to help.

You received no reply. You had eaten dinner and had studied for hours and nothing had come back from him. You hoped he wasn't sick. But it was unlike Peter to be sick. You kept trying to think of reasons but you just ended up going round and round in circles.

The sun had set over the buildings by the time you stopped working. The sky had turned an inky blue , but not black, the sky never turned black properly in New York because of all the lights. You had been so engrossed that you hadn't shut your curtains. Closing your textbooks and stacking them neatly again, you walked over to do so. But as you reached up something, or someone, fell to cling onto your windowpane.

You let out a strangled yelp before seeing who was there. You fumbled quickly with the lock on the window to open it. Peter was hauling himself up to sit precariously on your window sill... in the Spiderman suit.

Even though it was fairly dark, you could see he was injured. He really didn't look good. He didn't have the mask on, Peter is Spiderman... and he was clutching it in his hand. He had dirt all over him.

"Peter?!" To say you were shocked was an understatement. And you heard it evident in your voice. You could hear how startled and concerned you were.

He rolled off your window sill and landed on the floor with a loud thud. You winced because you hoped you parents didn't hear and then come to investigate, and also did Peter just hurt himself more? He already seemed so battered. Him falling literally through your window won't do him any favours.

He lay on your floor his facial features contorted into a grimace, showing you how much pain he was in. He was clutching his left shoulder with his right hand. Now he was in the light of your room, you could see a faint trickle of blood was seeping from under his collar bone there too, as well as half his suit being torn away from his skin. The initial shock of Peter being Spiderman has dissipated. You had no time to worry about that now because of his current condition. You could talk to him about that later. Right now, he needed your help.

You leant down onto the floor next to him, and carefully moved his right hand to further down his body so you could have a better look at what you were dealing with. You started to a feel an unfamiliar burning sensation in your chest, which you quickly realised was emotional pain for Peter being so hurt. It physically hurt you to see him in so much pain. You couldn't bare to look at his face as it just reminded you of that. So you kept focused on your task.

His suit was pealing away from itself and him. Leaving open to the air a flesh wound seeping blood slowly, which was good all things considered as it didn't look too deep. The blood could have been coming out much faster. And it was seeming to stop as if it had already begun clotting quickly to seal the wound. The skin that wasn't covered in blood, was bruised purple, which you guessed was causing Peter most of the pain.

"I need to get to you shoulder." You said as gently and softly as you could. You wanted Peter to trust you and allow you to care for him. But seen as he had turned up at your window, you hoped he already did.

You went to carefully remove some of the torn suit to get a better look when Peter spoke.

"I'm ok." He said, voice cracked from the pain he was experiencing, but it was so soft, and vulnerable.

Before he had even finished speaking you felt it. A strong surge of energy flowing right through your body, and coming to rest in your chest, right where you heart was. You looked at Peter now, looking straight into his eyes as you simultaneously felt ecstatic, and calm at the same time.

You loved Peter Parker. Peter Parker is your soulmate.

"Y/N?" He asked, his voice now full of concern for you.

"I..." You couldn't get any words out. You didn't even know what you wanted to say. He was lying bleeding and hurt on your floor and you couldn't exactly turn around and say, "I've just worked out that I love you."

You hand instinctively goes to your chest, your fingers lightly touching the words above your heart. You didn't even realise you had done it until Peter looked down to where your hand had come to rest. His eyes widened as he clocked what you'd done. He wasn't stupid.  

"Y/N..." He said again but this time it wasn't a question. It was tender, with the concern still there.

You sat in silence. Both of you working out what to say to the other one. But you were both thinking the same. You both knew what had just happened. The pleasant buzz of energy still hadn't left you, making you feel high on it. It you weren't so overwhelmed you would have probably been grinning.

It was Peter who broke the silence.

"I have something to show you."

In one swift movement he lifted himself up on his better arm to sit facing you, and touched where you had been touching his suit. He very carefully tore more of the suit to show more of the skin on his chest, until four words were visible for you to see.

Sorry, you take it.

"Peter they're-"

"The first words you ever said to me, yes." He finishes for you, a light blush appearing on his cheeks. They're the words you said to Peter when you both went for the same seat in your first ever class together.

You're stunned into silence as it clicks into place in your head what this means. Peter loved you, since the very first time you met.

You sit back from him as your weight shifts so you're now properly sitting onto the floor. You hadn't realised that your had been sitting uncomfortably because of everything that was happening.

Peter loves you.

You love Peter.

This is what he's doing instead of being in class. He's Spiderman.

A soft, but forceful pair of lips on yours pulls you out of your thoughts. Peter kisses you like it's the last thing he will ever do on this Earth. And you kiss him back with just as much feeling.

Maybe you had always been in love with Peter. You had only just realised tonight though that you were. It took him falling through your window for you to realise that. It was just that final push of seeing him hurt and at his most vulnerable that made you see how you truly felt. Why you were so worried about him not being at school.

Peter has pulled you gently towards his lap, so you're half sitting on him and so your bodies are unbelievably close. You know you're getting dirty - but you don't care. Nothing else matters now. You've found a soulmate in your best friend, and you're currently kissing him. And it's an amazing kiss.

You stop kissing him for a second to rest your forehead on his and just to take in what's happening.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He says breathlessly.

But you think you do. You now know everything. And everything is clicking into place.

Masterlist

#i'm actually really happy with this one #soulmate au #peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker imagines #tom holland #tom holland x reader #tom holland imagine #marvel imagine #spiderman #spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine #storyofavengers

[plentyofgay]

I need you to tell your parents that we are literally just friends. That that’s all we will ever be. That we had a “talk” and that I’m not physically attracted to you. You’re not my type and that you’re too young for me. That I consider you one of my haunt babies. But that we have a brother like relationship.

But know that I don’t feel like that. You know how I feel. It isn’t gonna change. And it isn’t going anywhere. I can compartmentalism it and have it not be an issue. NOT IN A BAD OR TOXIC WAY. I can have it ready if you decide one day that you’re ready.

Or we can just be best friends. Hopefully best friends that cuddle and still hang out and hug. Cause I love you. Wether it be platonic or romantic.

If you and Kai date. Which I’m worried that you will. And worried that they are going to hurt you. I will be here. I’m always gonna be here. You’re always gonna have a cord of energy attached to you from me and vice versa.

I know your here to show me love that I haven’t received. Whether or not you’re the only one that’s suppose to show me that or not I don’t not know yet. That’s the journey we are currently on.

You’ve never had someone care for you like I do? Have you? Is that the same reason that I’m in your life.

The painting that I made reins true. I’ll find you again wherever we end up next. That resonates with me.

Yes I’m gonna back off with the lovey dovey stuff. The whole reason I think I’ve been doing it is cause I want you to do it back to me. Step out ya comfort zone. I think I like to challenge you.

Don’t be worried that I’m obsessed with you. I just love you. There’s not an obsession. If I was obsessed I would have done some stupid shit. I would have made you think I’m a perfect person and manipulated you. Granted. I don’t genuinely know how I would do that. I’m just being authentic and fully me with you.

I’m attached I believe because you’ve shown me what no one else has. Actual love, kindness, understanding, stability, a genuine connection, you’re supportive. Hell you may not tell me I’m cute and sexy and all the things I wish you would. That’s why I ask you a lot.

I don’t want you to get hurt again. Cause I know you’ve been hurt really badly in the past. I don’t want that for you. I’m so worried that someone is gonna sweep you up. You’re gonna fall for them, they are gonna tell you that you’re not allowed to talk to me or you have to block me, and then boom you’re just gone. I’ve done that with so many people. I always give and give and give. I never get anything back.

But. With you. I’ve gotten stuff back. The energy and effort I’ve put into you I’ve received back and then some.

When you told me earlier that we needed to talk. My brain automatically thought. This is it. He’s gone. This is what you’ve been afraid of. This is your biggest fear. Him showing you something youve never had before. And poof he’s gone like that. But you’re not. You’re still here. You still love me. You still care. Granted we both want what we can’t have. But that’s okay. That’s something we work thru. Nothing is easy. Especially this.

You’re telling me this cause you don’t want me to get hurt. Cause you’re afraid you’re gonna hurt me and I’m gonna get mad and never speak to you again?

That ain’t gonna happen. Ever. Never ever. “I’ll find you again wherever we end up next.” Hold on to that phrase remember it. Cause it’s true. I’m always gonna find you. You’re always gonna be a part of my life. I guess I’ve been waiting for you. That’s that. We may be soul mates we may not be. I have nooooo idea. We are something tho. That I can promise. Shit if I died today. We’d find each other again. I’d always be with you. Honestly I could die happy at this point. I think you’ve shown me genuine kindness and love. You’ve shown me something new.

I’m still gonna buy you shit that you don’t need or want. Just cause I do that for everyone. I literally bought a bunch of worms just cause Emily wanted a worm curtain.

Hell we may move on from each other. That may very well happen. I’m not cutting myself off for you. If someone that I think is cute and that I think they like me too then imma prolly try it. Is that okay? Is that gonna hurt you??? I haven’t really found anyone like that yet. Just you so far. But I’m not gonna limit myself.

I will say tho. That if you say. Yes I wanna try to be boyfriends. It’s not gonna be an immediate yes. You still gotta take me on some dates and we still gonna have to like work on some stuff. Just like anyone would. For right now we are just what we are. I don’t wanna call it just “friends”. Cause I don’t wanna label it that. But I don’t think we are quite romantically talking either. We are just doing what we wanna do. When it’s time to not. Well know.

Also. You’re not even 20 yet. You’ve still got shit to do. I’m 24 I’ve still got shit to do. I’m not ready for a long term relationship anyways. It just wouldn’t work right now. I wasn’t even looking for someone to date. Then you rolled around and I was like. Well shit. I just wanted to have sex with you at first. But then ya worked some kind of avery magic and we are where we are now.

So yes. Date Kai if that’s what you figure you want. I don’t think you really need to tho. I don’t think you need to date anyone at the current moment. I think you need to work on other stuff. Just keep like talking to whoever and having fun. But be honest about it. Don’t hide anything.

Just still love me and hang out with me. That’s all I want and need. Even tho sometimes I long for more. But ultimately that’s all is needed. I know I have some work I need to do on me even before I’d be ready to be your boyfriend or anyone ones.

So. Just keep coming over. Maybe we’ll have some sex, maybe we’ll make out. Maybe I can teach you some stuff. Help you discover new things. But we will still hang out. Cause I love you.

I’m not gonna be missing out on anyone or wasting my time if I wait for you. People do not get romantically interested in me. Trust me. So I’m not wasting my time. You’re not wasting my time. If someone comes along and I fall in love with them. You’ll be there first to know. But rn you’ve got me. Soooooo. Imma just be patient. Until you tell me that I shouldn’t. When you tell me there is no chance in hell that we will date that’s when I’ll start getting over you. Till then imma just be patient.

Typing these out make me less anxious. Granted I’ve HAVENT gotten out of my bed since yesterday. Cause I still don’t know what’s going on. I still don’t know whether to let you go or to keep you close. I’m just confused and sad. I haven’t cried again yet. I haven’t self harmed. I haven’t even really felt like it tbh. I haven’t really felt like much actually. I think I’m still processing yesterday. It was really back and forth.

So what are we now? If we keep hanging out is Kai gonna stop talking to you?? I’m really worried about that. That’s not fair to you. And if you do date Kai. I’m not gonna be mad. I’m gonna be very very worried. I don’t believe your ready for a relationship and I think it would end not so well. BUT that just what I think. And I’m still kinda worried about Kai. I’ve just had a weird feeling and I still do. That’s just me being honest and open.

I think I’m okay with just hanging out and not being lovey dovey for now. I’ll do my best to not be lovey divert. If I do just tell me.

[uncertaininnit]

who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways

lets just jump into it

lol

so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck. 

to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED. 

anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.

his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.

sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.

i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose

his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty. 

that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.

so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.

basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does. 

oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?

oh yeah and his laugh-

it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away

the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.

he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.

but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS

(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE

the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must. 

also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile. 

also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile. 

speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice. 

AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.

i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.

and now it’s tommy time

the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy. 

but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM. 

so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.

what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.

a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.

and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok

but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.

im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy. 

is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.

it is 5:44-

#simp #like im literally the biggest simp #mcyt #dream smp #wilbur soot #the_eret #tommyinnit

[tk-productions]

Mystic Sisters -Ch.7 More & More

Hikari’s Pov

“Why can't you just tell me?” Yua yelled following me into my room.

“There’s nothing to tell you.” I shrugged sitting at my desk trying to ignore my sister.

“What do you mean? You were hanging out with Haru and probably talking about me.”

“I have better things to do besides talk about you. Haru walked home with me because he saw me walking alone. I wouldn't have been alone if you didn't have to stay after school. ” I said rolling my eyes at her.

“Don't sass me. Tell me what you were talking about. And I don't want you hanging out with him.” she warned.

“Yua I don't have to tell you anything. Haru and I are friends. You can't tell me who I can and can't hang out with.”

“I'm not leaving until you tell me.” she replied, stomping her feet on the floor. I pushed her out of my room and into the hallway even though she protested.

“Now if you're done yelling at me I have homework that I would like to get done before dinner.” I shut the door, slamming it and walked back to my desk. I could hear Yua slam her bedroom door.

Geez what's gotten into her? I thought, sliding into my chair and opening up a box of Pocky. For some reason Yua has been moody and has taken her anger out on me every chance she gets. Yesterday she got mad because I used the last of her shampoo. Before school she was mad because I was wearing her jacket. And now she's upset because Haru walked me home from school.

“Haru you didn't have to walk me all the way home.” I said standing on the front steps.

“It wasn't a problem, it gave us a chance to talk. Plus I dont live that far.” That was true Haru only lived a couple blocks from us. Before Yua walked to where we were standing I could feel her presence.

“Why is he here?” she growled.

“He was just leaving.” I said giving Haru a look. He picked up on my signal and hurried home.

“Yua why are you acting like this? You've been getting mad at me all week for no reason.” she rolled her eyes opening the front door.

I kept trying to talk to her all week but it just ended with her getting mad at me. I started to think that I did something wrong but if I did she would tell me. Right? A few hours later I knocked on Yua’s door.

“Go away.” she said muffled from behind the door.

“Just talk to me please.” I pleaded. She opened the door and gave me a blank stare.

“Did you finally come to tell me why you were with Haru?”

“I told you earlier we walked home together. We stopped at the convenience store for ice cream but that was it.Is Haru the only one you're worried about? What about me? You know you haven't been the nicest to me lately.” I fumed.

“Hikari I don't want to talk to you right now.”

“The same way you wont talk to Haru?” I shot back.

“Why are you always bringing him up? Don't you think it weird you're still friends with my ex?”

“You're the one that keeps talking about him! You're obviously still in love with him.” I yelled.

“Hik-”

“No. Don't talk to me until you figure things out.” I walked back to my room and threw myself on my bed. I loved Yua but I hate when she acts like this. Angrily I grabbed my manga off my desk and read until mom called us down for dinner.

We ate dinner in silence besides our parents asking us a few questions here and there. I guess they picked up on our weird behavior when my dad gave a mom a look.

“Girls, is there something going on? You've been quiet.” Dad asked us. I shook my head no without making eye contact with him.

“Everything is just fine.” Yua replied, glancing over at me while angrily stabbing her chopsticks into her bowl of chicken curry. I pushed my empty plate away from me and stood up annoyed with Yua.

“I'm going to bed.” I hurried to my room before my parents could protest.

I could hear Yua go to her room a few minutes later. Maybe I could try talking to her tomorrow if she wasn’t still mad at me.

I woke up the next morning to find out that Yua had left for school without me. I guess she was really mad. I grabbed my backpack and went downstairs to the kitchen.

“Hi honey.” my mom smiled pouring herself a cup of coffee which was probably her second cup of the day. I smiled back and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl.

“I'll drop your duffle bag at Hisako’s house on my way to work.” she pulled me in for a bone crushing hug as I tried to take a bite of my apple.

“Mom, I'm just spending the weekend at Hisako’s. You're acting like I'm moving out.” I say muffled. She let me go and laughed.

“Have a good day and text me when you get to Hisako’s. Okay?” I nodded and told her goodbye.

It was a lonely ride on the trade without Yua. When I got to school I peeked inside her classroom only to find she wasn't there either. I saw Hisako talking with a girl and when she saw me she gave me a warm smile. She stepped outside the classroom and ran over to me.

“Have you seen Yua?” She shook her head.

“No she hasn't come in yet. Is everything okay? Is she still mad at you?” I nodded and Hisako opened her arms for a hug. I hugged her back embracing her warmth.

“You didn't walk together?”

“No.” I sighed still in Hisako’s arms while she patted my head.

“Don't worry. She’ll talk when she’s ready. You know you guys always work it out.” I knew she was right. Hisako was comforting. She always knew how to make me feel better. I looked up at Hisako smiling at her.

“Aww you're so cute.” she cooed, pinching my cheeks.

“Why are you like this?” I winned trying to break free.

“Why are you so cute?” she laughed. A group of students walked past us and Hisako pushed me off as her cheeks turned red. I looked to see who the students were and turned back to her laughing.

“Did your crush just see you cuddling me and calling me cute?” I laughed again teasing her.

“Go to class.” she rolled her eyes, walking back into class.

I didn't see Yua all day. I tried texting her but I never got a reply. She was really ignoring me. I peeked over the students looking for Yua as I waited for Hisako by the front gate of school. “She probably went home. Is she really that upset with me?” I thought to myself.

“You still havent talked to her have you?” Hisako questioned. I shook my head and she gave me a reassuring smile.

“She’ll come around eventually. Cmon lets go get snacks for our sleepover.” she said grabbing my hand.

Yua’s Pov

When I got home the first thing I did was run a bath. “This calls for extra bubbles.” I yawned while grabbing the bubble bath from the cabinet. I stepped into the tub and relaxed under the warm water. I knew Hikari was hurt because I could feel it. Mom would say it's our twintuition. Maybe that was the reason we’re so close and why this isn't one of our normal fights. I know I hurt my sister. I sighed resting my head against the cold bathroom tile. Both of my parents were at work and Hikari was at a sleepover so it was just me and my thoughts. Those were the same thoughts that kept reminding me of how I've been taking my anger out on Hikari the past week. At first I didn't know why I was so upset. I finally realized it after our fight last night.

“Why are you always bringing him up? Don't you think it weird you're still friends with my ex?”

“You're the one that keeps talking about him! You're obviously still in love with him.”

When she said that to me I didn't want to believe it but the fight kept replaying in my head last night. That's when I realized she was right. I still love Haru and it hurts that he’s pushing me away. When I saw them together yesterday I was jealous. I was jealous that they were able to talk so easily like him and I used to. I got out of the tub and wrapped myself in my robe. After getting changed I sat on my bed with my phone in my hands. My fingers kept hovering over Hikari’s contact.

Should I text her? Maybe I should call? I don't want to ruin her night. Why do I do this to myself? I groaned lying on my bed, tossing my phone to the side. Hikari wasn't the only one I needed to call right now. It was Haru. Before I could call him I was interrupted by the front door opening.

“Yua come help me with the groceries!’ mom called from downstairs.

“Im coming!”

“Mom when is Hikari coming back?” I asked putting away the vegetables.

“Sunday. Why, whats up?”

“Nothing I was just wondering.”

“Is everything okay with you two? You've been acting weird the past few days.” she stopped and turned to face me.

“No everything is fine. She wanted me to help her with some homework but I guess Hisako can help her.” I lied. She nodded, probably not believing me and went back to putting up the groceries.

I guess I have to wait until sunday to fix this.

Hikari’s pov

Hisako sat in her bed as I laid in her lap watching a movie. “How many times are you gonna make me watch this?” I yawned, growing bored.

“You know it's our tradition to watch Mean Girls during our sleepovers.”

“Yeah but do we have to watch it 5 times in one night?” I laughed looking up at her. I got off her bed and dug through my duffle bag until I pulled out two sheet masks. I turned to show her and she smiled.

“Are those the ones with green tea?” She asked joining me on the floor. I nodded handing her a mask. It was quiet besides the sound of the tv playing or the occasional giggle from Hisako.

“I missed this. We should have our sleepovers more.” I said resting my head on her shoulder. She nodded in response.

The next morning I waved to Hisako and her mom as they dropped me back off at home.

“Mom, I'm home!” I yell entering the house. No answer. I placed my keys on the entryway table and called her again. I walked into the kitchen to see Yua placing freshly baked cookies onto a tray.

“Mom had a last minute work meeting.”

“Oh.”

“Cookie?” She asked, holding the tray towards me offering a small smile.

“No thanks.” I started to walk away when she called my name.

I turned back to face her. “What? Are you gonna yell at me because I didn't take one of your cookies?” She stepped closer to me and sighed.

“No, I made those as a peace offering. I wanted to talk to you...about everything.” I studied her face for a moment before replying. I grabbed a cookie off the tray and stuffed it into my mouth.

“Well it’s gonna take a lot more than chocolate chip cookies to win me over.” I mumbled. She laughed walking out the kitchen to the living room. I followed sitting on the opposite side.

“I know I’ve been a horrible sister and i'm sorry for that. No, not just that. I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you. I never meant anything I said. I was mad at Haru and took it out on you. Also I was jealous. I was jealous because you were able to talk to him while I've been trying to do that for months. I don't expect you to forgive me right now but just know I'm really sorry and most importantly I love you.” Yua stared at me the whole time with glossy eyes. I knew she meant what she said. I scooted over sitting closer to her.

“You promised that you would never let a guy in the way of our relationship. You broke that promise and hurt me but I know how much Haru means to you. I'm willing to forgive you for now.” she smiled at me for the first time all week before engulfing me in a hug.

“You're my favorite sister and nothing can change that.”

“Yua I’m your only sister.” I pulled away from her. She was back to being herself.

“When we were fighting I realized you were right. I still love him. I left early for school. I wanted to talk to him and work everything out not because I was avoiding you.”

“Did you ever find him?”

“No.” I groaned leaning on the back of the couch. “I tried looking for him all day only to find out he didn't show up for school.”

“Talk to him tomorrow no matter what.”

“I will. You don't have to worry about us.” she smiled reaching for a cookie on the coffee table.

“Yua the day you saw us together we were talking about you. Haru doesn't know how to be around you anymore. He doesn't know how to talk to you. He knows when he left he hurt you and he doesn't want to do that again.” she stared back at me with a shocked expression on her face.

“I would never do anything to hurt you. You know Haru and I are friends. I was just comforting him.” Yua pulled me into another hug but this time it was tighter.

“Wow I really am a bad sister.”

“No, I understand why you were upset. Just have a little more faith in me next time. Okay?”

“This is why you can't date until you're 30.”

“Yuaaa.” I winned. She let me go and stood up from the couch.

“Fine you can date when you're 29.” I rolled my eyes at her.

“C'mon I’ll treat you to dinner. What do you want?”

“Shabu-Shabu!” I yelled excitedly.

“I should have known.”

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