#the one thing sam has is he’s made his choices. he went to stanford he left john&dean and he does techncially choose to rejoin dean hunting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bubblegumfrosting · 2 years

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Like A Sister

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Fem!Reader

Type: angst than fluff

Summary: Y/n has liked Sam for awhile but due to their age gap Sam only sees Y/n as a younger sister. One thing leads to another and results in Y/n making a tearful confession.

Warnings: Age gap (3 years), mentions of injuries, cursing, and Dean’s shenanigans

A/n: hi! this is the first fan fiction i’ve written in a long time! i hope you enjoy it and if you have any tips for writing please feel free to dm <33

POV: First Person

I met Sam Winchester my freshman year of college. Since childhood I never had any “real” friends. No matter how extroverted or kind I was to people they always found me annoying. I wasn’t expecting much going into college, I was use to being alone.

So like any outcast I found myself sitting alone at my first “real party”, that is until Sam’s girlfriend at that time Jessica waved me over. I was shocked to meet someone as kind as Jess, she welcomed me to Stanford with open arms. When she introduced me to Sam there was an instant connection. The three of us spent the whole night joking and getting tipsy (ignore my underage shenanigans).

I learned they were going into their senior year and Sam was planning on becoming a lawyer. Personally I never knew what I wanted to do in life, so my major was well undecided. After the party I stayed in touch with Jess and Sam. My college experience was honestly pretty good, everything seemed to be going well for me for once in my life.

In the middle of the school year Sam needed to go on a “hunting trip”. Because of his absence I got to sleep over at their dorm, which was much nicer than mine.

The night Sam returned I was far too tired to go back to my room so I just stayed over. That’s the night it happened, when my world changed. My best friend was on the ceiling in flames, I had to be dragged out by Sam’s older brother Dean because I refused to leave her. Sam mentioned going on a road trip after the accident and I told him I wanted to go. There was no longer anything left for me there at college. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life and how could someone go back into society after witnessing something so terrifying. It took a lot of convincing Sam and than Sam convincing Dean to let me come with them but eventually I got my way.

That year I learned the truth, the truth about what’s in the dark. I became a hunter, and a pretty good one might I add. Due to my age the brothers baby me all the time, I’ve never minded it, that is until Sam said I was like their little sister. Hearing him say that made my heart ache. I’ve liked Sam for a awhile, I never mentioned it because he was in a relationship and then well grieving the loss of that relationship. There was never a right time to “confess my feelings”. So here I am hopelessly devoted to someone who sees me as a child and also here I am using myself as bait to catch a blood thirsty vampire.

“Come on! I’m over here, I know you want a bite outta this!”, I yelled out into the empty ware house.

POV: 3rd Person

Sam was very much against the idea of using you as bait but since this vampire only went after girls he really didn’t have a choice did he?

“Dean, shouldn’t we be closer, you know if something goes wrong?”, Sam spoke while him and Dean hid behind a pillar machetes in hand.

“Dude calm your panties, your little girlfriend is going to be fine”, the eldest said smugly.

“Ew! Dean don’t say stuff like that, she’s like …like..my little sister!”, Sam scoffed.

“If you look at your siblings the way you look at her than I don’t think I’m comfortable being your brother Sammy.”, Dean pats his younger brothers back.

“Whatever, let’s focus okay.”, Sam ended the conversation and the two waited.

Sam couldn’t explain what he was feeling, he was confused by what Dean said but than again he knew his brother was right. Sam has always cared for you but these past few months his feelings grew. He found himself staring at you when you weren’t looking and constantly worrying about whether you were safe or not.

“God! Are you ever gonna come out or what you bitch!”, you screamed getting a little antsy.

Suddenly a man popped out from the dark and swiftly knocked you to the ground. You felt your head hit the cement and blood trickled down your face, “Who are you calling a bitch..bitch?”. The man revealed his razor sharp teeth and lunged on top of you.

“God, when was the last time you seen a dentist?”, you yelled.

“Dean now!”, Sam exclaimed and the two brothers sprinted towards the action. In an instant the once “alive” vampire was laying on top of you headless.

“I’m going to puke”, you pushed the body off yours and Sam helped you off the ground.

Sam had a worried expression on his face, “Hey hey hey, are you okay, does anything hurt? Did you hit your head? How many fingers am I holding up?“, he held up three fingers.

“Ten”, you said jokingly, “I’m okay Sam I promise, I definitely thought I was a goner though”.

“We thought about leaving you but Sam decided against it.”, Dean said wrapping an arm around your shoulders and the three of you walked out of the ware house.

When you arrived at the motel Sam insisted to check the cut on your head while Dean went out to get a beer.

“This needs stitches Y/n.”, he sighed and got out the first aid kit. “Sit on the bed.”.

“No please! I’m fine! I promise, I don’t need stitches”, you look into his eyes and pout. Sam turned his head away to hide the fact he was blushing.

“Sit, now.”, he said sternly and you did as you were told. He sat beside you and grabbed the belt laying on the bedside table. “It will be over in an instant, here bite down on this.”. You bit down and closed your eyes. The only thing you could taste was leather mixed with tears.

After what seemed to be a life time, the stitch work was done. Sam gently took the belt from your mouth and you opened your eyes. You wiped the tears from your face looked down, “No wonder you see me as a baby, I cry over a little cut.”.

“Who ever said I see you as a baby”, Sam questioned and you looked back up.

“You did genius, you said I was “like your little sister”.”, you got up from the bed and walked towards the bathroom, Sam follows close behind.

“Well I guess it’s just because your so much younger than me and-“, Sam started.

You turned to face him, “Thanks for reminding me, it’s not like I think about it everyday! Think about how maybe if I was older-.”, you paused, “Never mind, sorry forget I said anything.”, you brush past him but he grabs your wrist and you turn back towards him.

“Maybe if you were older what?”, he asked as his eyes melted you under their gaze.

“Are you really going to make me do this?”, he looked at you with a pleading face. “Fine, I..I like you. Fuck! I don’t just like you Sam I love you.”, your eyes go blurry due to tears forming and you can’t even see what Sam’s expression was so you just kept talking. “I’ve always loved you and everyday I’m reminded that you could never feel the same way because I’m some stupid kid, some burden you have to worry about-“. Before you could finish Sam stepped towards you with urgency and cupped your face pulling you in to meet his lips with yours . After a couple seconds you both pulled away and he wiped your tears with his thumb.

“Never call yourself a burden Y/n, you are the most kindest, loving person I know and I’m sorry I didn’t know this sooner but I love you, I truly love you.”, you looked into his eyes and smiled as you pulled him in for another kiss.

“Finally god damn!”, Dean sat on the motel bed kicking off his shoes. Sam and you turned in shock to see him sitting there. “I’m so happy I won’t have to deal with the both of you eye fucking each other anymore.”.

“How long have you been here?!”, you exclaimed.

“I don’t know, like the whole time.”, Dean cheekily smiled and turned on the tv.

You looked back at Sam and smiled, “I never thought you’d feel the same way.”.

Sam brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear, “Well I never thought Dean would be right about something but here we are.”, he placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Ay! I’m still here, stop the smooching!”, Dean said dramatically.

The three of you laughed, and everything was perfect.

#sam winchester #dean winchester #sam x y/n #sam x reader #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester x y/n #sam x you #sam winchester x you #supernatural #supernatural x reader #supernatural x you #supernatural x y/n #supernatural fanfiction

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wearywinchester · 3 years

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Something Old and Something New — Part One

Mechanic!Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: When life takes a turn and you take an unexpected break from college in Stanford with your best friend Sam, you return home to your job at your family’s co-owned garage. You return home to work alongside the guy you thought you hated—Dean Winchester.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: mild angst, mentions of death, mild swearing, fluff

A/N: Part one to my mechanic!Dean series!

Kansas.

It’s always been home to you no matter what, even if your time was split between here on summer break and the apartment you shared with Sam while the two of you went to school together. It was somewhere that never changed despite your ever changing life, and that was something you felt you needed amidst everything swirling through your mind as of the last six months. A place that was always there to welcome you back home with open arms no matter how few and far between your stays back there were. It was home and it was familiar.

You sighed as you looked out of the car window, gaze focused on just about everything you could see ever since you landed at the airport just barely half an hour earlier. You had to admit you were happy to be home for more than just a short period of time, you missed it here. But you wished it were under better circumstances.

Sam was still back at Stanford surely with his nose stuck in a book far too thick for you to think about without giving yourself a headache, and while the thought made you smile, you couldn’t help the nagging feeling knowing you should be there too. You were nearing the tail end of your time in law school, having had one year left before you’re expected to graduate and get your degree, though you were feeling a little less excited than you think you should be. You were home instead of over there after all.

“For itchin’ to be back home, you sure don’t look like it,” Benny chuckled from the driver’s seat, glancing at you as your lips pursed and your brow quirks up. He nudges you with his elbow to accompany his words, his amusement only increasing at your grumpy expression.

Benny.

He was your parents best friend for as long as you can remember, the closest thing you’ve got to family since your parents passed away a few years back. He was an uncle to you just as much as Bobby Singer was to Sam and Dean, and you knew you wouldn’t trade him for the world. Even when he’s giving you a hard time like in that very moment.

“I wasn’t exactly planning on taking this kind of a break either, Benny,” you huff, shifting in your seat. You turned your head at the quiet sound of his laugh, your gaze narrowing. “‘S not funny.”

“You’re right, it’s not. But that pout you got goin’ on is.”

When he looks at you once more it takes all but a few seconds for you to turn your head and look away, eyes rolling as you bite the inside of your cheek to stifle your smile. You shake your head, knowing it’s no use to even try.

But it’s true, you weren’t expecting to take this kind of a break this far into college because you weren’t expecting to fall out of love with your choice in a career. You made it this far—you were twenty-four and on the brink of becoming a lawyer along with your best friend Sam. But somewhere between here and there you found yourself mulling over the possibility that maybe you didn’t quite like this kind of job as much as you initially thought. You chalked it up to burnout at first, a reasonable assumption, but after returning back from summer break last year feeling less than refreshed and ready to start the new year of studies, you weren’t feeling that same spark.

You were beginning to feel like that profession wasn’t quite the right fit for you, and that was when you decided to come home.

“You’ll figure it out, you know. You always do, Y/n/n,” he says after a little while.

The smile his words pull from you is more bittersweet than anything, because you felt so far from figuring it out that it was near laughable. If you weren’t going to be a lawyer, and you were entertaining the thought more and more every minute, you didn’t have a single clue as to what you’d do with your life. Going into the family business wasn’t exactly an ideal option—you knew your way around a car but you don’t think you could spend day in and day out being a receptionist forever either. You enjoyed what you did at the garage when you work, but you wanted to do more.

You knew that, you just didn’t know what.

“Sam doesn’t even know why I’m taking a break, that’s how ‘figured out’ I have this whole thing. He thinks it’s just ‘cause I miss home,” you say with a sigh, slumping back in your seat.

“You don’t miss home?” He asks, humor in his tone as he raises a brow in faux offense.

You flash him a half annoyed glance, lips pursed only momentarily. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

Your frown has him smiling all the more as you sulk, your mood only fueling his good one because that’s just how Benny Lafitte is. Not that he likes seeing you in misery, he just sees that everything will work out in time, even if you don’t.

“C’mon, Y/n, lighten up a little, kid!” He says, as upbeat as he can be as he gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze. You roll your eyes and smile a little more. “There’s that smile.”

You shake your head as a laugh falls from your lips, huffing out another sigh as you look at him. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“Is there any other way to be?”

You let out an amused huff then, feeling just a little bit lighter than you had when your plane first landed, though the tension in the very pit of your stomach still remained tightly coiled in its ever present knot.

There was a lot for you to think about in the time that you had here, your mind always wandering back to how you’d tell Sam. He loved it there and it was clear to see that, it was clear to see he fit the job and was leaps and bounds more enthusiastic about it than you. You thought about the extra studying you’d have to do if you decide to go back, and the studying you should probably keep doing if you want to be consistent and retain what you’ve learned. But the mere thought itself was something that made your head spin, something that made you even more content with the idea to leave that behind and stay here.

Surely Sam would understand it.

It wasn’t more than five minutes before Benny pulled his truck into the parking lot of the garage, the one you’ve been to a million times over by now. It was just the same as you left it last—a little rough around the edges but it was like a home away from home and you’d never think otherwise.

“Dean’s real excited to see you,” he jests, nudging your arm. His laughter is immediate at the sight of your expression, a scoff leaving your lips.

“I’ll bet he is,” you mumble, unbuckling your seatbelt.

“I thought you two grew out of that phase by now.”

“Who said it’s a phase, Benny?” You smile.

Dean Winchester.

The one who stepped on the backs of your shoes as a kid, the one who took the last slice of pie and still will without a beat of hesitation. The one you stole flannels from as teens, especially the ones he wore most often just to hear him shout and complain when they’d gone missing. It was a habit that led you to find the stash of candy bars he’d kept hidden in his closet, snagging them not so discreetly only for him to turn around and get you right back.

The two of you strived to get on each other’s nerves and it showed to just about anyone who had the pleasure of spending so much as five minutes with the two of you in the same room. You bickered even on the best of days, always a constant string of eye rolls and curses mumbled under the others breath in complaint. He was just as stubborn as you, and maybe, just maybe have you met your match.

You hopped out of the truck and closed the door, smoothing your hands over your jeans. You squinted as you looked upward, laughing softly. “You still haven’t fixed the sign?”

The ‘s’ that was supposed to be upright at the end of ‘repairs’ had been dangling crookedly since the last time you were here, looking comical and out of place with the rest of the sign but you can’t say you were surprised that it looked the very same.

“What do you mean still? It hasn’t even been that long,” he defended, scratching his head as he bit back his grin.

“Benny, I was here eight months ago and it looks exactly the same,” you say, brow raised as you squint at him with an amused smile.

When he does nothing but shrug his shoulders and hope you take his smile as a peace offering, you simply shake your head and laugh, pulling open the front door and walking inside.

The familiarity hit you once you walked in, the slightly crammed and cluttered place smelling a little bit like gasoline and a lot like the lunch everyone had on the collective lunch break. The radio in the corner was playing classic rock, the station never having changed from it unless you wanted to get on Dean’s nerves a little bit and switch it to some pop music he swore he absolutely dreaded. You knew better than to believe that when you caught him singing some lyrics under his breath as he worked on Baby after hours.

You leaned over the counter, the desk you called your very own and your pictures were still there, little knick knacks still in there place but everything was just a little bit grease smudged from one of the guys taking up reception.

“Look who’s back in town.”

You stilled, gaze shifting upwards in an eye roll as a huff exhales through your nose. You knew that voice anywhere, it was impossible not to. It was the voice of the very one who strived to get on your nerves with nearly every word he spoke because that’s just how he is.

Dean.

You spun on your heel and met his gaze, the irritated expression you’d held for the older Winchester faltering for just a moment at the very sight of him standing before you before it quickly returned with just a little less annoyance than it once had. The smirk he wore was enough to do just that, a bit of grease smeared across his cheek with some matching stains on his shirt.

“Deanie,” you greet, his expression fading in favor of a more hardened one at the nickname you knew he hated.

It didn’t last very long, the very corners up his mouth quirking upwards in a way that was all too telling that he was undoubtedly up to something. You knew him by now yet you were still too caught up with something about him to realize it before it was too late.

“Y’miss me, sweetheart?” He asks, tugging you in close for a hug. He gave you a squeeze just to hear you whine an fuss over the fact that he’d been sweaty from the heat of working all afternoon, that and the grease that most definitely was getting all over you.

“Dean,” you grumble, shoving at his shoulders halfheartedly, “get off!”

He let go with a chuckle, his head tipping back in a louder bout of laughter at the sight of the grease having smeared on your cheek and the frown on your lips. Fighting your smile was harder than you cared to admit in that moment, and you hated the way that maybe you missed the feel of his arms wrapped around you once he let go of his embrace. You shook your head partly in a bit of annoyance and partly to shake those thoughts away, arms having been crossed over your chest when he looked at you.

“You got a little somethin’ on your face.” He licks the pad of his thumb and reaches forward teasingly to wipe it off, your hand pushing his away.

“What’s the matter, law school too boring for you now?” He jests lightheartedly, slinging the rag in his hand up to rest on his shoulder.

You roll your eyes in response as you look away briefly. That’s when he saw a flicker of something different cross your expression for a mere moment, something he knows is more than just a little bit of annoyance. He knows you a bit better than you realize. It’s different but you quickly mask it with a smirk of your own and he thinks nothing more of it.

“Don’t you have a car to fix?”

“Don’t you have a textbook to read?”

You scrunch up your nose and he scrunches his, and you’re seconds from snagging the rag off his shoulder before the phone rings. You round the desk as he leans his elbows on the counter. He’s got a smirk on his lips as you shoo him away, more adamant the more the phone rings as he reaches over and snags a piece of candy from the jar you always kept. Your glare is one that he basks in as he pops the candy in his mouth.

“Winchester and Lafitte Automotive Repairs, this is Y/n speaking,” you say as you answer the phone, missing the way he smiles to himself and shakes his head as he walks away.

—

You sighed as the old clock on the wall behind your desk strikes seven o’clock, the last customer of the day having just picked up their car to take home. The stuffy heat had cooled off some now the the sun was beginning to dip lower in the sky now that evening rolled around, the fan set up in the corner helping just a little bit. Everything was cast in a golden orange hue as the sunlight streamed in, carrying with it the shadows of the pine trees standing tall on the other side of the road.

Your work day was cut a few hours shorter than it usually was since your arrival earlier that afternoon, but you were still just as tired, body fatigued from traveling. You were more than grateful that most of your stuff was already in your apartment here, the only things you’d brought having been your clothes and things you’d miss if you left it back at your place you shared with Sam.

“This place never runs quite as good without you, you know,” Benny says, nudging your shoulder as he passes behind you to snag his keys from the hook.

You smiled at his words, nodding softly as the sentiment brightened your mood a little bit more. “You ready to go?”

You stood from your chair and pushed it in as you stretched, grabbing your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. The look on Benny’s face when he’d turned around to face you was one that had you curious, cautious at that. It was apologetic and amused all in one, something that was far too indicative that what he was about to say was something you didn’t want to hear.

“Don’t be mad, but—”

You tilt your head and your expression falls neutral as your lips purse. “Why do I feel like I’m going to be mad?”

He started to pass you and round the corner, almost as if to dodge a bullet, said bullet being just about anything you could throw before he spoke up.

“I can’t take you back home, so…” he takes note of your souring mood and he holds a finger up as you walk out from behind the counter with crossed arms. “So, Dean’s gonna drive you home. I already put your bags in his car earlier.”

“You what?”

The two words were doubly shocked and equally displeased as you and the green eyed Winchester spoke them at the same time. When you turned you saw him wiping his hands on a rag before tossing it to the side, his brows furrowed.

“Do me a favor and try not to kill each other,” Benny smiled, one that was far too innocent for his own good because you knew for a fact he’d done it on purpose.

But he said nothing more as he tossed Dean his keys, kissing the top of your head before he slipped out the front door. You turned to look at Dean who’d looked at you, a mirrored look of pursed lips and furrowed brows shared between you two as silence engulfed the place for just a few moments.

“I call radio,” you say, his brow raising when you head towards the door.

“Like hell you do,” he calls after you.

You were lucky it was only a ten minute drive to get there, the tension thick as you got in the car. He turned the radio up with a sly smile and a laugh at your glare, dodging your swat to his shoulder.

“Do you listen to anything other than the same five songs, Dean?” You huff, elbow on the door as you rest your head on your hand.

“Not a chance, sweetheart,” he says, tapping the steering wheel as he pulls out of the gravel parking lot, engine revving as he sped down the road.

You look over at him to see the content smile sitting pretty on his lips, his arm resting on the edge of the open window as his hand settled at the very top of the door, the other rested loosely on the wheel. That very same Zepplin song was playing on the radio that you were convinced he listens to daily, in fact, you knew he did because that’s how Dean is.

“What?” He asks, amused curiosity in his tone.

“Nothing,” you say as you look away, biting the inside of your cheek.

“The hot shot lawyer’s got nothin’ to say, I’m shocked,” he says, faux surprise coating his tone.

“Will you cool it with the lawyer talk?” You huff, staving off the anger in your words with a soft shove to his shoulder.

To be fair, he didn’t know just why it was that you were back here earlier than you should be, he was just yanking your chain like he always did. But it became abundantly clear to him that there was more to it than just a little annoyance. That, paired with the look on your face earlier made it all the more clear for him to see that.

He looked over at you with furrowed brows, the dimples by the corners of his mouth appearing as he looked at you briefly before turning his attention back to the road. He may have cracked jokes and got on your nerves just as much as you did the same to him, but he knew you more than you realized, knew when something was more than just a joke to you. You’ve got this frown that you don’t even know you have, and you bite your lip. He even notices that you tap your foot too—he noticed the little things but he won’t admit it.

His jaw clenched as he turned the radio down a little, speeding up a bit more down the open road.

You’re quick to get out when you arrive at your apartment. It was a nice little place, a house rather, one split right down the middle. You’ve got the right side and Mrs. Allen’s got the left, a sweet older lady that’s lived there far longer than you. She makes a point to tell you you’re her favorite neighbor, and she makes a point to say something about you and Dean every time she sees him that makes your eyes roll.

You knew for a fact she’d say something in the morning.

You snagged one of your bags from the trunk and he grabbed the other, slinging it over his shoulder.

“You don’t have to carry my stuff, you know. I can do it myself,” you say, but you make no effort to grab it from him.

“I know you can.”

You sigh as you fish your keys from your pocket as you continue on up the walkway and up the steps of your porch, sticking them in the door. You drop your stuff down just inside the door with a sigh, grabbing the bag from his outstretched hand before you step inside and turn the front light on.

He stuffs his hands in his pockets, shifting on his feet as the words sit on the tip of his tongue. The very words he’s been thinking about since you’d gotten upset in the car even if you wouldn’t dare to admit it.

“Good night, Dean,” you say, offering a half smile as you go to close the door.

His palm presses to the door almost before you move to close it, and he steps forward a step or two. Your brows furrow as you lean against the doorframe, watching as his mouth opens and closes a few times, and he’s lost for words for a few moments. You don’t push and you don’t pry as you stand there curiously, arms having been crossed over your chest.

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings,” he starts, hesitant and a bit quieter as he scratches the back of his neck and clears his throat. “In the car, I mean.”

You stand there, and it takes a beating silence before he meets your gaze. The sincerity in his voice isn’t something you hear all too often in your direction, having always been jokes and witty sarcasm painted over his words but this, this was a little different.

“S’okay,” you say, pushing yourself off the doorframe.

He smiles then, a soft chuckle leaving his lips as he nods. “I’ll uh, I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

You nod at his words, the corner of your mouth tugging upwards. “Good night, Winchester.”

You let out the breath you’d been holding when you closed the door, back pressing to it as you tip your head back. The day you had left you more than tired, thoughts running wild with no end in sight. But the day wasn’t half bad, not really. The two of you had gotten on each other’s nerves every moment you get to do so, but maybe you missed him a little bit more than you thought. Maybe through the layers of wit and remarks there was a little part of you that missed the green eyed Winchester but you’d never admit it.

Unbeknownst to you, maybe he did too.

The rumble of his engine was clear as he pulled away and drove down the street, a huff leaving your lips as you rub your face as you lock the door behind you for the night.

—

Series taglist: @myloversgone @dean-is-sams-apple-pie

General taglist: @flamencodiva @stixnstripesworld @dean-is-sams-apple-pie @elegantbutedgy @humanmistakes @agalliasi @campingmonkey

#dean winchester #dean winchester series #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester x you #dean winchester angst

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brodependent · 3 years

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Sam loves Dean as much as Dean loves Sam: a meta

Much as I love reading good meta, I don’t often write meta. Thus please accept my apologies if this is mediocre, and let me start with a simple topic sentence:

Sam loves Dean as much as Dean loves Sam.

A little longer, now: Sam is even better at loving Dean than Dean is at loving Sam because of Dean’s profound and abiding love for Sam.

Confusing, right? But not really.

We all know how Dean lives and breathes SammySammySammywatchoutforSammy. It’s his defining mission, his ultimate purpose, or, as a therapist might say, his “core belief.” But sometimes I think that we allow adult!Dean too little autonomy. We assume that he can’t help himself: he’s locked into this single-minded focus, on loving and protecting the only family he has left.

That sells Dean short. (Hang in there, I promise I’ll get to Sam in a moment.)

Even people who have been forced into a certain way of life have choices. Even people who have been told who they are all their life have choices. Dean tells us, in Season 14, I’m good with who I am--and I, for one, believe him. Whether we follow canon all the way to 15x17, when Dean is finally brought back from the edge of his desire for revenge against Chuck by his love for Sam (the only thing that’s “real”), or whether we keep to season 1 when Dean said--that’s all we have...that’s all I have... and I want us to be a family again and as long as I’m around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you--Dean has always accepted his role as Sam’s big brother. Dean’s life is unabashedly Sam-centric. He’d change a lot of things, but in the end he’d change nothing, because he wouldn’t change that.

Some fans get very het up about the codependent aspect of this. Others (in my opinion, rightly) defend it. There’s scads of meta on why the Winchester dynamic IS necessary for their mythic role in the narrative, and their human role in the narrative (more importantly), so I won’t write that meta now. All I’m saying is what I think you already know: Dean lives for Sam, his baby brother, and despite the grief, the growing pains, the occasional cruelty of desperate love, Dean said it all when he told Sam (and us), Don’t you ever think that there is anything, past or present that I would put in front of you.

So where does that leave Sam, and his love for Dean? Let’s start with that line I just quoted. Building on the above, Dean’s goal in life is to give Sam a life. He wants Sam to be happy. He wants him to be free. He also wants to keep him by his side forever, to control him for safety and comfort’s sake, and sometimes those instincts of a frightened-child-turned-traumatized-man win out. Dean isn’t perfect. Dean’s full of contradictions. But time and again he goes back to stone number one: what he can do for Sam. What he can offer Sam, by being the grunt, by standing in harm’s way.

When we begin the story, Sam has succeeded in the path Dean helped carve for him. I’m not taking all the credit from Sam here, and giving it Dean: merely pointing out that Dean stepped into traditional parental roles and helped send Sam into adulthood, even though that meant Sam leaving him. We know that the night Sam left for Stanford was one of the worst of Dean’s life, but even in mid-season 1, Dean tells Sam he’s proud of him. You always know what you want. You stand up to Dad. Hell, sometimes I wish I--

(this, of course, is beautifully echoed in the series finale itself)

Dean is telling Sam what so many parents tell their children: you have gone places I never could, accomplished goals I never could, grown in grace and understanding like I never could. At least, I like to think that’s what the best parents tell their children.

To Dean, Sam is always the one with more hope. More wholeness. More options. To Sam, Dean is stone number one.

You asked how Sam loves Dean, and my answer is: just look. Look at how Sam goes out into the world young, stands up to their father, makes his own decisions, fights back against Dean’s own nihilistic narrative through their primary losses and setbacks. Dean gave Sam the safety to build a better worldview than Dean himself has, and Sam turns that right back around and tries to give it to Dean.

What do you think my job is? You’re my big brother--there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.

I can’t lose you.

You’re not a grunt, Dean, you’re a genius.

This is my life. I love it. But I can’t do it without my brother. I don’t want to do it without my brother.

I am going to save my brother. And then I’m going to kill you dead.

If you ever need to talk about anything with anybody, you got somebody right here next to you.

I believe in us.

This is just a small collection of Sam quotes showing his love for Dean. A small collection showing the persistent theme of Sam’s persistence. He knows that pushing chick-flick moments and emotional conversations can get jokes for a dime a dozen, and even the occasional punch thrown his way. He keeps at it anyway. When Sam knows Dean’s hurting, he wants to help. He’d do anything to help. He won’t sit around and see his brother turn into an embittered killer (season 2), go to hell for saving his life (season 3), take on the Trials (season 8), be irrevocably corrupted by the Mark of Cain (seasons 9-10), let him despair (seasons 11 and 13), let him sacrifice himself to an archangel’s grave (season 14), or let him lose his goodness to the whims of a vicious god (season 15). Sam fights for Dean with full use of his considerable gifts--intelligence, rationality, resourcefulness, and yes, the occasional blind rage. Sam looks to Dean, first as a leader, then as a judge, and finally as an equal. Sam has been looking up to Dean since he was four, yes, but over the course of the show he comes to look at Dean. With love, peace, understanding, humor, pain...whatever their inimitable connection requires.

The quotes I noted above also reveal Sam’s own conflicts rear up. Sam and Dean (again, in my opinion) are equally developed characters. Both have flaws and inconsistencies. Both have struggles inherent to their personalities and upbringings, distinct from those imposed on them by supernatural forces.

Sam had a glimpse of a different life, once. He had the smarts, he had the drive, he had the sheer stubbornness to live a different life than John or Azazel or hell, even Lucifer had planned for him. But also in Sam--innate in Sam--is his core of goodness and compassion and the principle of doing right, which leads him back into the life and to soul-crushing sacrifice again and again.

Sam breaks and is broken. Sam suffers and ages and spends more time in hell than even Dean, who went to protect him.

But what keeps Sam going? Dean. Dean can’t live without Sam. We know that. The flip side is that Sam doesn’t want to live without Dean. Importantly, I think, he has more choice in the matter. Dean focused his whole childhood identity on giving Sam a life that meant he had choices, even if Dean didn’t know he was doing that. Sam can move through more crowds, more roles, more relationships. He has a better education, he has a more powerful ability to intellectually reason and detach. He would have made a great lawyer. Yet he casts all this aside out of sheer willpower, choosing instead to love Dean and live with Dean through the chaos of their lives, and to go near mad when Dean is gone. Consider Sam in season 4, Sam in season 10...Sam in season 8 trying to atone for the very choice that Dean (the best part of Dean) wanted him to make, even if the real muddle of Dean’s psyche couldn’t forgive him, for a time, for making it.

All of this leads us to the finale.

You said you wish Sam had said I love you back to Dean in the finale. I argue that he did. He made his love perfectly clear to Dean in that moment by holding his hand, by looking in his eyes. He said, you can go now, when all he wanted was for Dean to stay.

The best part of Dean wanted Sam to have happiness and freedom. At the end of his life, Dean was finally able to communicate that without fear or reservation.

But the bittersweet brilliance of that moment is that Sam--the Stanford boy who went to hell and back, who saved the world, brought down one god and raised another--no longer wanted any kind of happiness or freedom that didn’t include the one person who’d been by his side all along. Dean was giving his blessing for a path that didn’t beckon Sam anymore. And yet: Sam said yes to it out of the love for Dean. Sam went out of that barn, out of the bunker, out of that day and that year and that decade and into the next and the next, out of love for Dean. Sam loved Dean by living. He loved Dean by raising another Winchester. He loved Dean by holding all their contradictions, flaws, and heroisms in his heart (in their car), until he’d done what he set out to do many times over.

Then he met Dean on a mended bridge, dressed in old clothes that said: I was happiest at the beginning. I was happiest when we could be brothers again. I took my time getting here anyway, because I know that was what you wanted. I took my time so that we could be happiest now.

If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

#my meta #meta #spn meta #the epic love story of sam and dean #sam winchester #dean winchester #spn positive #spn #supernatural #carry on #spn finale #sam loves dean as much as dean love sam #winchesters #sam n dean #sam and dean

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jockpoetry · 3 years

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supernatural sees women as a tool for development and strengthening of narratives/motivation and dean sees his body as a tool. is that anything?

When I saw this ask I really made the 🥴in real life. So, yeah anon, I do think there’s something to this.

Quick Disclaimer before I actually launch into my thoughts™: A lot of my read of Dean stems from my experience as both an oldest daughter and a transman. Being the oldest daughter was an experience I lived for many years, but I am also a man. I wasn’t raised as a man, I wasn’t socialized as a man, and even though once I came out upon reflection my masculinity was obviously there. Like I was a man™ before I knew I was a man. Even when I actively tied my identity to femininity for a long time! A lot of my prideful moments were based around statements like: “I was the only girl who (fill in the blank).”

So I am just putting that out there before I launch into my spiel about Dean/Gender/Tool because they all interlock for me.

I am also going to apologize in advance because I know this has fully gone off the rails and I’m not even done writing it yet. If this is incomprehensible ! Well, happens to the best of us.

First off, most importantly I guess before we discuss womanhood and Dean and the way both are utilized on the show I need to say that I personally don’t subscribe the whole Dean is female coded thing.

It’s a read I can absolutely understand. But for me..he’s not.

He’s a hypermasculine man to the point that when (and because he is written as a punchline, as the stupid™ brother, as the whore™, as the mother/father™, as daddy’s blunt instrument™, etc) Dean deviates from the pre-accepted definition of hypermasculine it’s Wrong.

It’s Instantly Feminine.

I think the internet has made the world very black and white, or blue and pink maybe. This point, I think, colors a lot of these discussions. Dean cooks, he cleans and so therefor he’s female coded. When that really just feeds back into the whole toxic masculinity loop. You can’t be masculine and cook and clean and cry. That’s for feminine people only.

I get the argument! I do, I just think that Dean’s actions are not inherently feminine, it’s just in the vacuum of Female and in the Absence of Traditional Masculinity it makes sense to assign him female coded and move on.

IN FACT the way that Dean is the action hero of the show, the Masculine™ one on the show - but he cries, and he rages, and he cooks (Again and Again) and cleans (Again and Again). The fact he’s macho and confident but he has so little self esteem. Is frankly insane to me. You have this blaze of glory character who is so depressed that they have him kill himself. Twice. In explicitly “I hate myself, I hate hearing all the things I hate about myself, I want to destroy myself” ways.

On just a regular ol’ network show that is just ungodly bad at times. They let their Male Hero cry - all the time (if I linked every example of this the essay would be...longer than it already is, but just take my word for it). Dean tears up and grieves and shows more than just Angry Horny Violent™ (he shows plenty of that, don’t get me wrong) but he’s Emotional (Again and Again and Again). In many different ways!

I mean, beyond even just tearing up, they make their Male Hero™ face sexual violence in pretty, uniquely horrifying - and queer! - ways.

Let’s make it clear, they did a lot of this unintentionally.

Or they do it as a joke.

Off of dean for a moment to say women are plot devices in this show. I could probably count on one hand female characters who have sincere depth to them that have roles outside of progressing plot, filling a filler episode, and who are still alive. Like even characters such as Charlie who are wholly developed, and interesting, are only remembered/mentioned/utilized to progress plots or fill an episode out - and then she dies. For pain™ for plot™ for no other reason than to traumatize a character.

Which let’s also make it clear Dean’s trauma is also only used as a plot device (as is Sam’s but in a different way, and Cas’ trauma is a whole other barrel of fish we’re not gonna dive into right now). Like wholesale full stop they don’t actually care about what happened to him. Unless it’s relevant in an episode.

Oh that boys home he was left at when he was 16 for months? Sure we’ll sprinkle that in in the back half of the series. Oh he was covered in bruises and said it was from a hunt (when it’s clear contextually they were from his father but saying the fantastical but true is easier than saying the uncomfortable but true). As Dean says though the story became the story, he was sixteen. He just went along with what John said.

We only see Dean ever truly rage at John, by the way, when either Dean is dead (when he’s between life and death and he rages at John, right before John “apologizes” for traumatizing him, for putting too much on Dean’s shoulders, and fucking dying) or John is dead (the Djinn episode where Dean is straight™ and John is dead™ and he goes to his grave and just yells and rages like he should have to his father in the real world).

Dean’s trauma from being both tortured and torturer in hell? Yeah, we don’t talk about that after it’s Relevant™. Even though it’s clear - especially in the demon!dean, mark of cain era, all those years later - Alastair still has his hooks inside of Dean. I stopped watching originally after s8 ended. I was fed up with the show, and with this whole renaissance I’ve been doing a rewatch and I’m into season twelve now and it really has never come up again.

Even when he had the mark of cain and he was tasked with questioning and accused of torturing it was “the mark has changed you” and not “you were victim and victimizer in hell for forty years, which is longer than you’ve been alive on earth” (and, was about as long as he wound up living. Which is desperately sad.

Because we talk about Sam’s desire for a “normal” life but, Dean wanted out too. He was tired in the first few seasons of this show, he never had a chance to taste freedom (we don’t count the boys home, because that was a different kind of regimented life, and it was a false freedom) the way that Sam did in Flagstaff with Bones or at Stanford with Jessica. Love for Dean is sacrificing, it’s putting himself/his happiness/his well-being last.

Because Dean only knows love in the context of violence (like all of these fun examples, for starters) is a phrase that I’ve said a lot both in private chats and on here, and I absolutely think it goes to him being a tool (a blunt instrument, a plot device, so both textually and metatextually) instead of a person. Which Cas sees Dean’s shame/guilt and sees that side of Dean because he touched his soul, and saw more than just the Righteous™ man, more than just the tool, he saw A good man, not a machine.

On the other side though you have how “bad guys” view Dean: Desperate, Sloppy, Needy, Dean’s hole (Again), which is again so wildly counterintuitive to the story of a Macho Man Hero™. You’re using vocabulary that is both queering him and feminizing (and I know this a meme format, but sincerely it is done in a derogatory way it is feminizing. It’s breaking him down to bare parts, to a sloppy hole).

My whole rewatch I have been absolutely fascinated by how identity and free will is utilized/conceptualized on this show. Castiel has been my main focus, but Dean and how he is framed by himself and others is...fascinating - and frustrating. The writers inconsistency lends itself not only to this unintentionally queer character, but also one that again is incredibly easily read as a non-traditionally masculine character.

As a feminine character.

This show has so few female characters that of course it had to foist the roles/behaviors/plots that a female character might have onto a male character. Which I think is part of why reading Dean as trans (either transmasc, or transfemme) is so easily done like.

Half of these are shit posts, but you can find trans allegories/textual evidence in this show again, again, again, again, and again. And this is unintentional, they don’t want you to look at Dean and see woman, former future or present. Like a lot of these I’m sure are punchlines for them, because women/queer folk are punchlines to them.

Sometimes the only women in an episode are random witnesses who get two sentences of dialogue, and then the main guest character is a man. Who flirts with Dean, and Dean is receptive to it.

They paint themselves into a corner, there are female Rabbi. So easily could Aaron have been a woman instead of a man, but they made the choice to play up the HaHa Dean & Men card.

Because, again, Dean has filled the slot of Woman™ of Female Lead™ and the flirting would’ve been straight if Dean was a woman. It’s a plot device, they needed to have the guest character be disarming, be cute, make the main character flustered.

It’s just the main character is a man, because they’re allergic to women. But they still need those female plots, tools of femininity, to move their show forward. I mean I am a big subscriber to transmasc Jo (no idea if anyone else is with me on this one, but let me explain). Jo is in love with Dean (concept) not Dean (actuality). Which, we’ve all had our eggs cracked by someone like that. We were in love with them until we realized we just wanted to be them.

He loved her like a little sister, she loved him like a lost idol. He’s a golden calf and she dies for him, because she believed in him, she was the original character dashed at the altar of the Winchesters.

I fully believe if she had lived and if this show had a crumb of actual good writing Jo could have been a deeply compelling transmasc character. But I also think she’s a fascinating inversion of Dean. Dean is a Masculine Character who subverts Toxic Masculinity, Jo is a Tomboy™ she’s not your (if you take it straight, literally and metaphorically) average female love interest. She’s angry, she’s not soft at all, all edges and corners and thorns. She isn’t helpless, she’s stubborn but not in a “you’re going to get punished for this” way. She’s right when she’s stubborn. She’s helpful, she’s a martyr.

I could do a whole other essay just on Jo (and Ellen, and Ash, what a fucking trio!) but needless to say Jo was one of the first...plot device feminine tools sacrificed to this show. She was a regular, she was unique, she was an engaging character, and she still died (to progress the plot? no. for man pain? yeah, for like three episodes maybe, and then it’s forgotten just like the rest of Dean’s trauma, as we mentioned above).

Dean and Women and Love is a very interesting tool used too because. Boy they sure try to make Dean love women and it fails in small ways, and in big, meaningless, failed het domesticity (again) ways. Not to mention whatever Lust (in the form of a woman) having no effect upon him, when they could have used that moment to assert his Masculinity and Heterosexuality. He behaved normally? And...also...whatever the fuck the Adios thing was!

Like they have these opportunities to make him Traditionally (toxically) Masculine, but make the choice to...not? To soften him. Because it’s a tool. He’s their female lead, textually he had to take on the role of mother(/father) to Sam, but...I mean this is a million miles long already. I know, but we absolutely can’t not talk about his Paternal/Maternal behaviors. (Which appear again and again again and again, outside of his relationship with Sam even/especially). He’s the mother hen, sage, safety net, beacon, home to so many side characters they meet.

I mean in many ways Jody is also a Dean comparison. Lost her family. Found a new family. She is non-traditionally feminine, but easily flustered and Silly™ (let’s just drop the entire sex talk over family dinner scene with Alex and the boys and looking to them for help, even though she was already a mother, and she’s a cop, and a hunter and this confident no nonsense individual.... She’s not). We are meant to see her as this hard ass, but she makes extra food for the boys to take back to the bunker. She’s deadly in a fight, but also still easily overwhelmed and put into damsel mode, and she cares so much even in the face of adversity.

It’s also fun to see how Jo | Jody are reflections of Dean at different points of his life. Younger, cocky | Older, settled.

Even when the text tries to tell us that he’s not.

When it reminds us that he’s violent. That he is his father, even if he says that Sam is more like John (which was reflexive, which was angry because of Adam and how Sam was behaving like Dean in that episode, and yes there are parallels to be drawn between Sam and John, the show barely dives into them). Instead we’re told that Dean is John (Again and Again and Again and Again).

So intensely that a fanfictionalized version of the Winchester Gospels makes it an entire fucking musical number.

And yet, despite the texts insistence to make Dean Macho Man Father Reborn™ We get this Dean who is silly (and directly compared/contrasted to the female character in this scene), soft, in heels, nagging, and... Sully (you know Sam’s imaginary friend who has the same Haircut Dean has, who is a softer, shorter, friendlier, campier, version of Dean who was a replacement For Dean until the real one let Sam back in? That? Sully?) it’s hard to take them seriously.

Hell, even when he was A DEMON? What did they do? They had him sing off-key drunken karaoke, they had him doing this ! Like that’s your hero, unhinged, free to be as bad as he could be, and you put him in a cowboy hat in a romance with the king of hell.

The Female Lead, everyone. Who’s biggest betrayal(s) comes at the hands of his love interest (again, a man even though it was an angel who could’ve taken any vessel! who could’ve been recast, who canonically dies admitting his love to Dean - that one), who he tries so hard to be loyal to.

The contradictions of his character are laughable. He is so emotional, but if he is engaged about his emotions? He shuts down, or he’s exasperated about being asked about them. It really is Female Lead/Only Here For The Plot disease, because everything is more important than him. How’s he doing? Doesn’t matter outside of the context of how x character is doing or that y character is dead. Or his emotions only matter if they’re done in penance.

They also really do frame him as Pretty Boy™ in a violent way, or in a derogatory manner. They’ll give us homoerotic shots like this or these and never really acknowledge how these are gay shots. Sorry the gun scene is a a straight up sex scene, the beer sip spilling out over his mouth is oral, the scene where Cas fills up Dean’s glass with whisky is also a sex scene, they do this shit on purpose but accidentally queer it up. If Dean was a woman these scenes wouldn’t even matter. They’d be passing moments, but because he is not just a man but A Man™ they’re insane to see.

Not to mention all of these scenes and all the ones I haven’t linked where Dean dresses up. He performs masculinity, but he performs femininity too. He’s a plot device that is slotted in to whatever role they need. He’s Super Straight Butch Man™ but coaches the lesbian on how to successfully flirt with a man. He’s Action Hero™ who sits through a montage with the same lesbian and yays and nays her outfits, and enjoys himself.

Fuck he loves dressing up, he feels better in these costumes because performing a character is easier than being himself. Because who is Dean? He’s a tool, both textually and metatextually. It is exactly how the women and because of the women on the show that Dean is the way that he is. If there was a more steady female presence Dean would not be half as much of a plot device or half as camp/gay/feminine/non-traditionally masculine/queer coded as he is.

In conclusion....

#dean winchester #supernatural #spn meta #spn #gender #anon #replies #messages #my writing #ANYWAYS PHEW okay anon i don't know if i even fully got to your point but i woke up at like 3:30 to this ask and i've been fixated on it #HOPE THIS IS EVEN JUST a little bit coherent #the way i meant for this to talk so much more about transness and eldest daughter syndrome and just FORGOT #oops #oh well

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bradycore · 3 years

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okay, not to write a whole damn essay overanalyzing one line, but there’s a gifset going around and i made the mistake of looking at the notes, so here we go.

“my whole life you’ve protected me from dad”—said by sam to dean in s15—is an…interesting line. yes, dean protected sam from john. there were aspects of their childhood that dean kept from sam in order to protect him, and i’m sure john was involved in many of those. but at the same time, dean saw john as a good dad, he was horribly loyal to him, and in s1/2 and from what we know of the winchesters preseries, the majority of his disagreements with sam were over sam refusing to do something john wanted him to do, usually because the something was dangerous, or kept sam from making basic choices he had every right to make, or was indicative of john having a complete lack of respect for and trust in the boys. and dean always took john’s side.

dean’s biggest character arc s1-3 was arguably him overcoming his unconditional loyalty to john and becoming more aware that the way their father raised them wasn’t right. the first time we see him majorly disagreeing with john—specifically to protect sam, as well—is after john’s death when he refuses to ever kill sam, and that’s a huge step for him. it’s a huge step because he’s never done it before. and it’s the last time the winchester family dynamic is ever really engaged with in the show, so we don’t really see it again.

dean has not protected sam from john his whole life, or sam would not have had to run away from stanford and be cut off completely from dean and john in the process. the arguing between sam and john wouldn’t have most frequently ended with dean either telling sam to stop fighting or getting both of them to move on. the early seasons very intentionally established a pattern of dean siding with john against sam, and this informed both sam’s basic characterization and dean’s future character arcs.

but how this line was presented (and how it was taken by a lot of people, i think) was as sam coming around, finally realizing what he’d been in denial of or something. this is almost a parody of the early seasons establishing dean as the one who had to come around and realize a few things when it came to john (sam did too, but in a different way than dean, and it doesn’t negate dean’s own arc with it), and so it’s also a total denial of it. it does a disservice to the family dynamic that is so essential to dean’s character, to the struggles that sam went through under john, to dean’s character growth in s2/3. so it’s baffling to me that it could be seen as character growth on sam’s part and an affirmation of dean.

anyway. interesting line.

#gabriel.txt

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rainbow-shine · 3 years

Text

i'll never wear your broken crown, but in this twilight our choices seal our fate

An alternative s4 in where Dean has powers and that changes everything and nothing. Dedicated to @wormstacheangel and inspired by this headcanon.

It started with little things.

So little that Sam wouldn't have noticed them had it not been for the fact that he couldn't help but look at his brother like a hawk lately, partly to comfort himself that he had Dean back and partly to make sure his brother wouldn't find out about his extracurricular activities.

Dean doesn’t gets hurt anymore.

Sam felt his heart stop inside his chest when he entered the kitchen at Bobby's house and found Victor's ghost with his hand embedded in Dean's chest. With a swift movement Sam fired, the ghost disappeared and Dean fell to the ground.

Completely unharmed.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked either way. Dean gave him an unimpressed look before saying no.

The thing was, Sam had seen Olivia's corpse, had seen the corpses of the rest of the hunters. Right now Dean should be bleeding to death on the floor, his heart ripped from his chest, but instead he was just catching his breath like he'd just taken a good hit.

Sam, at that time, thought it was a fluke.

But it kept happening.

They had a dangerous job and the threat of the apocalypse only made the monsters worse, but Dean was always unharmed. Not a single mark stained his body and the times something or someone managed to hurt him, those wounds always disappeared in less than a day.

"You test him, right?" Sam whispered to Bobby, as soon as Dean went to buy something for dinner and Sam stayed with the excuse of researching something on a new book.

"Who?"

"Dean," Sam clarified. “After he was resurrected”.

"Of course I test him, Sam," Bobby hissed. “Do you think I'm stupid?”

"No, it's just…" Sam stopped speaking, realizing that his arguments at the moment would sound more like conspiracies. The fact that Dean was apparently untouchable wasn't exactly a bad thing.

"What?" Bobby asked sharply.

"Nothing," Sam replied, quickly coming up with an excuse. “It's just that I feel like there's something different about him”.

"Sam, your brother just came back from hell. Literal hell,” Bobby exclaimed slightly condescending. “His mind is trying to process a trauma that, as far as I know, no one has ever experienced. You can't expect him to be the same as before, because he won't be”.

"I know, Bobby."

"Then stop complaining".

So Sam stopped. After all, Dean was still Dean and the fact that nothing could hurt him was just one more reason for Sam to do everything he could so that nothing that could reach him.

•●•

The first time Dean went to sleep after being rescued from hell, in the uncomfortable but familiar couch in Bobby's house, he dreamed of a light.

A light so bright that he felt it might be able to melt his eyes out of his sockets, but at the same time it was warming a part of him that always seemed to be cold.

A light that was comforting and gentle. A light that meant love and salvation.

That night, in an abandoned barn in Illinois, Dean knew that he hadn't been dreaming at all.

•●•

When he was a kid and dad decided to start taking Dean on hunts, Sam used to kneel by his bedside and pray that god would keep his brother safe.

After Jess appeared nailed to the ceiling and their apartment was consumed by flames, Sam began to pray for forgiveness.

The day Dean was dragged to hell Sam stopped praying, because he knew that no one was listening to him.

But then Dean was saved. Dean was saved by an angel and Sam felt his faith restored. How he couldn’t have faith when an angel had achieved what he had been trying to do for months?

But apparently Sam Winchester couldn't have good things, because again his faith was destroyed and the angels, as Dean had said, were nothing more than dicks with wings.

The boy with the demon blood.

The curse Azazel left on him and the only chance they had to truly stop Lilith.

There was fear in Dean's eyes.

And that hurt so much more than anything the angels could have told him.

His powers were a curse, but he had stopped Samhain thanks to them. They may not have saved the seal, but an entire city was beginning their day with nothing to worry about thanks to them.

Sam was doing the right thing. He truly was.

It didn't matter that no one seemed to agree with him.

•●•

"Let me guess, you're here for the ‘I told you so’" Dean said, turning on the bench to look at the angel sitting next to him.

“No”.

“Well, good, cause I’m really not that interested”.

"I am not here to judge you, Dean." The angel's voice was surprisingly gentle and Dean tried to ignore the way the light from his halo suddenly looked alluring. Dean hadn't told anyone, not even Sam, what he could see.

Because Dean still wasn't entirely convinced that he hadn't gone crazy.

Big black wings curved slightly around both of them as they chatted and Dean, for a moment, stopped seeing Castiel, the righteous angel of the lord and only saw Cas, someone who looked as lost as Dean felt.

"I don't envy the weight that’s on your shoulders, Dean," Cas whispered. “I truly don’t”.

Then Cas leaned into him and Dean felt his mind short circuit for a second, because the angel clearly seemed to want a kiss. But no, Cas stopped an inch from touching his lips, simply watching him simultaneously with the blue eyes of his vessel and with the hundreds of curious eyes of his true form.

“What…?” Dean's question was interrupted by something coming from Cas' lips and colliding with his. Dean instinctively parted his lips and allowed Cas to give him whatever he wanted.

It wasn't liquid, but it wasn't a gas either. It was tasteless and Dean didn't feel it pass down his throat or vanish in his mouth. His heart raced and he felt… safe. Blessed.

As soon as it started it was over and by the time Dean managed to control his heartbeat, Cas had vanished and no one seemed to have witnessed what had happened.

•●•

Ruby didn't like Dean.

For many reasons, some more obvious or justifiable than others. But for the sake of the role Sam had to play, Ruby forced herself to cooperate with the older of the Winchesters.

But this was too much.

The mere presence of Dean made her feel like there were cockroaches crawling all over her body. His soul had taken on a new glow and Ruby didn't want to know what kind of things Dean was doing with his angel to have that kind of purity.

"I think there's something wrong with Dean," Sam confessed and Ruby could feel the fear making his voice shake or maybe the shaking came from the blood that was still running down her arm.

"What are you talking about?" Ruby asked sweetly, almost genuinely concerned. If it were up to her Dean would still be rotting in hell, but Sam was on his way of doing a miracle and Ruby felt that someone like that deserved all the happiness and satisfaction in the world. Even if it meant having to put up with Dean Winchester.

"He looks different," Sam said. "I think the angels are doing something to him. My brother would never have..."

"What?" Ruby prompted. "Would never have risked his life for an angel?"

"Well, no".

Ruby had a sudden epiphany that they weren't talking about Ana.

"Maybe the angels are… purifying him," Ruby suggested. "I mean, you know what he did when he was in hell".

The idea of Dean, brave and kind Dean, torturing souls in hell and enjoying it was too funny to be true.

"It's something more than that".

"What do you think it is?"

"I don't know!"

Ruby thought that they had already wasted a lot of time talking about Dean, so she decided to silence Sam with a deep and dirty kiss, climbing onto his lap and thinking that heaven could purify Dean as much as they wanted, because she would see to it that Sam was more powerful than they could ever imagine.

•●•

The angels had taken his brother and Sam swore he was going to kill them as soon as he found them.

Wasn't it enough that they were manipulating and corrupting him, they also had to make him relive what happened in hell?

Dean had protected him from many things. Dean, his older brother, had taken it upon himself to give him a childhood that he never allowed himself to have. Dean had been in the front row of his school play. Dean had made him tomato rice soup whenever he got sick. Dean had put a wad of money and a cell phone in his bag when he had left for Stanford.

Dean had sold his soul to save him.

So now it was Sam's turn to save his older brother.

•●•

"For what it's worth," Cas murmured against his lips. Dean was shuddering with what could be fear or perhaps anticipation. "I would give anything not to have you do this".

•●•

Sam had killed Alistair and Dean was furious.

Hundreds of emotions were piling up in his mind and he wasn't able to understand how his brother could be so stupid to not see that his powers were changing him for the worse. Dean could feel that something was wrong with Sam and his little brother didn't seem to mind.

"I did it to save you!" Sam insisted, throwing his hands up as if Dean was going to lunge at him despite still being slightly dizzy from the hospital drugs. "I only used my powers to protect you when the angels couldn't!"

"Cas did the best he could."

"Really?" There was a note of hysteria in Sam's voice. "Are you going to defend him?"

"Sam..."

"He forced you to torture Alistair despite knowing what you did in hell!"

"He had no other choice!"

"He's using you!"

"But at least he has never lied to me!"

The lightbulb in the room exploded.

Both brothers froze and Dean could see that Sam was breathing heavily and refusing to meet his eyes.

"Sammy?"

"I'm going to get some air," was all Sam said before he practically ran out of the room.

Leaving Dean wondering if things between them would one day stop being so broken.

•●•

Dean's eyes glowed blue.

Angelic blue.

Sam had to save his brother before it was too late.

•●•

The first time Dean healed him, Sam felt like something inside him was burning.

It had been a hunt like any other. No seals threatening to break, no angels or demons. Just the two of them against an angry ghost, just like old times.

Except the ghost was really angry and by the time Dean managed to burn their bones, Sam had been thrown into several graves and several trees and he was sure the back of his head was bleeding.

"Sam!" Dean yelled, running up to him and gently laying him on the ground, with his head in his lap, examining the severity of the injury. Sam felt like a little kid again, feeling safe next to his big brother.

For a moment, there was no apocalypse or arguments. Just the warmth of his brother's body and gentle fingers running through his hair.

"Dean, I'm fine," Sam managed to say. "You know how much head injuries bleed. It's less serious than it seems".

"I know, Sammy".

And then Sam felt the soft strokes on his hair turn into flames and a gasp escaped from his throat. The pain lasted only a second and by the time Sam regained awareness of his surroundings, none of his injuries were still hurting.

"What did you do to me?" Sam hissed, pulling away from Dean and standing up quickly and nearly falling back to the ground from the wave of nausea that washed over him.

"I… I don't know." Dean looked as terrified as Sam felt. "I just wanted to make you feel better".

Dean wasn't normal anymore. Whatever the angels had done or were doing to him was changing his brother.

And Sam no longer knew if he could save him.

•●•

"What's happening to me, Cas?" Dean asked. Trying to convince himself that his little brother was safe and that even though Lilith had escaped, she at least hadn't made any deals with Sam.

"You're changing," was Cas' soft reply. "A metamorphosis, a revelation".

"Am I not human anymore?" Dean asked with his voice showing the terror he really felt.

"You're always going to be human, Dean," Cas reassured him. "Every saint, every messiah, was as human as you".

"I don't deserve this, Cas," Dean gasped, closing his eyes to avoid seeing Castiel, his wings and halo, his eyes and his light. He wasn’t worthy of witnessing the greatness of an angel, not this angel at least.

"Do you still think you don't deserve to be saved?" Cas whispered and Dean trembled slightly as he felt a warm hand gently touch his chin, forcing him to look up and open his eyes. Cas was looking at him so adoringly that Dean felt like he was going to combust in any minute. "Do you think you don't deserve to be loved?"

This is love? Dean almost asked, but instead he connected his lips to those of the angel in front of him and tried to ignore the way in which, for the first time since he had been dragged to hell, he felt pure.

•●•

Castiel couldn't keep doing this.

Heaven had lied to them. Castiel had delusionally believed that he was keeping Dean safe, that he was rendering him immune to demons, healing his wounds and protecting him from all danger.

When in reality Castiel had only been poisoning him.

Shame mingled with guilt within his grace. His wings were flapping as fast as they could, pulling him towards Dean. Trying to warn him about what heaven was planning. Trying to save him from the hell Castiel had condemned him to.

The angels found him first.

Castiel felt how his wings were imprisoned and how his entire being seemed to be consumed by the most absolute pain.

"Take him to Naomi," ordered one of his superiors. "Fix him as soon as possible".

The last thing Castiel felt was the bond he had begun to form with Dean being brutally ripped apart.

•●•

No demon could touch him and surprisingly that wasn't the strangest revelation Dean had that day.

No, the fact that the demon that tried to touch him in Jimmy Novak's house let out a scream of pain as he held onto his burned hand paled in comparison to everything else:

Seeing Sam, his baby brother, throw himself on a demon to drink her blood, broke his heart in a way that Dean couldn't even begin explain.

After that, seeing how Cas looked like his wings had been passed through a shredder while his true form's eyes seemed dull and unfocused only served to make his wounded heart surrender completely.

Dean was practically invincible, but right now, with the broken pieces of his heart trying to stick together, he felt more fragile than any glass.

•●•

Bobby wasn't having a good day.

No, that wasn't good enough, Bobby wasn't having a good life.

But this day was particularly bad.

No matter how much he wanted to ignore them, Bobby could still hear Sam's delirious screams. And to think that the boy who had entered his house years ago, hiding behind his older brother and observing everything with big eyes full of curiosity, was now going through a detoxification process for having consumed demon blood, was something that Bobby could hardly tolerate.

The fact that Dean was a mess didn't help much either.

Dean appeared to be a shadow, drowning in alcohol and carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Bobby wondered if there was something wrong with him too, for on more than one occasion the lights around him seemed to flicker and his eyes seemed to emit a strange light.

What had these two idjits gotten themselves into now?

•●•

Dean didn't know what else to do anymore.

"She's poison, Sam," Dean said, praying his brother saw reason. Sam just gave him a wry smile.

"What about Castiel?" Sam hissed and Dean instinctively took a step back. "Is he poison too, Dean?"

They had both lied to each other and here were the consequences.

"Cas is an angel," Dean replied. "He's just protecting me".

"What makes you different from me?" Sam asked. "Tell me, why are you allowed to be a freak and I'm not?"

"Sam that's not how things are..."

"Of course they are!" Sam yelled. "All my life I have been the freak of our family, I never fit in with you and dad, and I was ready to accept that I'm different from you, but it turns out that you are the same freak as me!"

"It's different and you know it, Sam," Dean tried to argue. "Cas never made me drink his blood, he never made me promises too good to be true, and he never made me addicted to anything".

"Why?" Sam asked, sounding exactly like the scared little kid who had believed that the monster under his bed was real. Dean felt his heart ache. "Why if we are both freaks I have to be the monster?"

"It's not too late, Sam," Dean pleaded. "We can still stop this. No angels and no demons, just you and me. Like before".

"I… I can't do that, Dean," Sam denied.

"Of course you can," Dean insisted, moving slowly toward Sam. "Say goodbye to Ruby, return with me to Bobby's house and we will find a way to end it all. I just want you to be okay, Sammy".

Sam's skin began to burn the moment Dean placed his hand on his arm.

No.

"Sammy?" Dean didn't recognize his own voice, he felt like his body had ceased to be his. A witness of his worst nightmares. A tear ran down his cheek. "Sammy, please".

The blow hurt less than the implications of what just happened.

•●•

It wasn't fair.

None of this was fair.

The place where Dean's hand had touched it still hurt. A reminder of what he had sacrificed for the greater good. A mockery of what he had lost by trying to be a hero.

But he couldn't stop, not now that he was so close to ending it all. Not when it was only a matter of hours before Lilith tried to break the final seal.

Ruby's presence was a comfort with the same intensity as a punishment, because Dean hadn't trusted him the way she did, but still Sam wanted the presence of his older brother.

That part of him that had believed for years that his older brother was a superhero right now wanted to run up to his brother and beg for forgiveness.

But Sam was no longer a child and his brother had made a decision.

It was time for Sam to made his, too.

•●•

The angels had kidnapped him. There was no other way to describe what they had done to him, but Dean had made a promise and he planned to keep it. So he stayed there and listened to what the angels told him.

But the moment Zacharias leaned toward him, his movements clinical and expressionless in a way Cas' had never been, Dean couldn't resist the urge to seal his lips, lower his gaze, and take several steps back.

"Dean," Zacharias sighed, as if Dean was a little kid who didn't want to eat his vegetables.

"No," Dean refused and before he could regret it he added. "I want Castiel to do it".

The expression on Cas' face was heartbroken.

"Very well," Zacharias agreed, before ordering Cas to come over to him.

With Cas' lips so close to his and with the warmth of what he now knew was grace enveloping his body, Dean wondered if Sam had been right and Cas had been poisoning him too.

Perhaps both of them had poisoned each other.

"You're almost ready," Zacharias marveled when Cas broke away from him. "Everything will go according to plan".

Dean wasn't so sure about that anymore.

•●•

"Sam," Ruby said, her dark eyes showing a panic Sam never remembered seeing. "Time is running out, are you going to do it or not?"

With Dean's voice telling him that he was a monster echoing in his head, Sam knew he really had no other choice.

•●•

"You know what's real?" Dean asked and didn't wait for an answer before grabbing the lapels of Cas' trenchcoat and slamming his lips against his.

Cas seemed to freeze for a moment before reciprocating the kiss with intensity. His black wings curved around both of them and Dean felt the heat of his halo brushing against his hair. Invisible hands caressed his skin and hundreds of eyes watched him adoringly.

"This is real," Dean gasped as they parted. "This, us, people, families— that's real. You're gonna watch them all burn, Cas?"

"What would you have me do, Dean?" Cas whispered. His wings trembling slightly.

"Get me to Sam," Dean said. "We can stop this before it's too late".

"I do that, we will all be hunted," Cas replied. "We'll all be killed".

"If there is anything worth dying for... this is it" was all Dean could say.

Dean barely had time to react before he was being pushed into one of the walls and kissed desperately. Dean raised his hands to tangle them in Cas' hair and parted his lips the moment he felt Cas' tongue touch his lower lip.

His body accepted Cas' grace with ease.

"We have to find Sam, we have to stop him from killing Lilith," Cas told him when they parted.

"Why?" Dean asked, feeling a little dizzy. "Lilith is going to break the final seal".

"Lilith is the final seal," Cas said. "She dies; the end begins".

•●•

Sam had never felt a power like this.

It was all about to end and he could finally have the life he deserved. His nightmare would end and everything Azazel had planned would be in vain. Sam would use the powers that hell had given him for good. He would use the demon blood that ran through his veins to prevent the apocalypse.

And maybe, when things finally ended, Sam could apologize to Dean and all of this would be nothing more than a bad memory.

Lilith was smiling and Sam was eager to erase that smile once and for all.

Finally, everything was about to end.

•●•

Castiel was committing treason.

He didn't even think twice before vanishing Zacharias and carrying Dean as quickly as his wings allowed him to the house of the prophet of the lord. It was the only chance they had to find Sam and stop the apocalypse before it started.

"You guys aren't supposed to be there," said the prophet, frowning. "You're not in this story".

"Yeah, well..." Castiel said. "We're making it up as we go".

Castiel then took a moment to look at Dean, his soul shining as bright as the sun and cradling his grace as if he never wanted to be without it. Castiel felt a wave of affection for the human he had rescued from hell, for the man who had kissed his lips like a lover.

He sensed the archangel's presence long before he appeared and Castiel knew that they had run out of time.

Regardless of whether the prophet was watching them, Castiel pulled Dean to share a heavy kiss. A kiss of regret for lost time. A goodbye kiss.

"I'll hold him off!" Castiel gasped against Dean's lips, allowing most of his grace to flow to him. If Castiel couldn't protect him, at least he would make sure his grace did. "I'll hold them all off! Just stop Sam!"

Dean connected their lips one last time.

"Good luck".

In the end, Dean had been right. This was something worth dying for.

•●•

He had been too late.

•●•

"I was the best of all those sons of bitches!" Ruby yelled, a maniacal smile curving her lips. "The most loyal!"

Sam had stopped listening to her, just staring in horror at what he had done.

This is not how things are supposed to be. This shouldn't have been the end of this. He had made a stupid mistake, he had been arrogant and he had been naive. Sam had only wanted to protect the world; he had only wanted to take some of the burden off his brother's shoulders.

Sam, for once in his life, had just wanted to do something right.

"You're too late," Ruby scoffed and Sam felt like he might start crying when he saw his big brother.

"I don't care," Dean hissed and Sam could only watch paralyzed as Dean placed his hand on Ruby's forehead and she started screaming, her eyes on fire and the demonic essence of her fading.

"I'm sorry," Sam sobbed. "I'm so sorry, Dean".

Dean couldn't even look him in the eye.

"We have to get out of here," was all Dean said. "Let's go, Sam".

"Dean," Sam gasped. "He's coming".

Dean ignored him, grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the exit.

For the first time in months, Dean's touch was no longer uncomfortable.

•●•

The apocalypse had begun.

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mersuperwholocked-lowlife · 4 years

Text

Don’t Say Goodbye

Word Count: 1,819

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester (brief), John Winchester (brief), Reader

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader

Warnings: angst

A/N: it’s not good u dont have to read plz dont

Masterlist

“Dad, please. All I’m saying is that… Hey! Listen to me!” you ran in front of John, blocking him from the door.

“Move, now,” he glared, clenching his jaw.

“Do you even care about us?” you scoffed, crossing your arms.

“(Y/N), get out of the way. Now,” he said.

“It’s Dean’s birthday. It’s Dean’s 13th birthday and you’re leaving. Again. Have you ever been here for one of his birthdays?” you raised your voice.

“You know, we don’t have a mother. We don’t even have you to call our dad. Yeah, leave again. Don’t even bother coming back at this point,” John kept quiet, only shoving past you as he slammed the door shut behind you.

You let out a sharp exhale, sitting down as you rubbed your head.

Why did it have to be like this? Sam and Dean were out at some library, Sam’s choice. You planned to surprise them when they got home, but apparently, John had another hunt to get to.

You let out a huff as you grabbed your jacket, going to the library to meet them.

---

“(Y/N),” Sam was resting on your back, while you held him tightly.

“Yeah, Dean?” you asked.

“Is Dad coming home soon?” you looked next to you, looking at your younger brother.

“Dad’s gonna be home when he can. But for now, we can have some fun! What do you want to do? Sam’s passed out so it’s just me and you for the night, kiddo,” you ruffled his hair as he pushed away from you.

“That’s so embarrassing, (Y/N)!” he exclaimed.

You laughed softly, holding his hand as the two of you made your way to the apartment.

---

“Did you eat breakfast?” you asked Dean.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“Sammy, you too?” you turned to your younger brother.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“Okay, let’s go,” you nodded, opening the door for the two of them.

“Did you eat breakfast, (Y/N),” Dean mocked your question.

“I’ll eat after I drop you two off at school,” Sam walked to the car, sitting in the backseat peacefully.

“How come you got to drop out of school? It’s not fair,” Dean grunted.

“Because I’m older than you,” you replied.

“That’s not a fair answer,” he said.

“Get in the car, Dean,” you rolled your eyes.

“What do you even do all day?” he scoffed.

“Car. Now,” you were used to Dean always questioning you, Sam being the only one who listened.

He muttered something to himself, sitting in the passage seat as he looked out the window.

---

“No,” you ran behind John.

“It's not your choice, (Y/N),” he said.

He agreed it was time for Dean’s first hunt.

“No, Dad. It's not safe,” you said.

“He's 15, (Y/N), it is time,” John argued.

“So what? We made a deal, Dad. Sam and Dean will not hunt until they’re old enough to make decisions this big,” you yelled at John.

“I need an extra hand,” John yelled.

“Then I’ll go with you! They can stay with Bobby, but under no circumstances are you going to make them hunt!” you yelled.

John made you hunt when you were as old as 8 years old. You hated hunting more than anything. But if you had to do it to keep your brother's safe, then you would.

“We’re leaving in 5 minutes. Be ready,” you nodded, running back to the motel room and started to gather some clothes.

---

“(Y/N), your eye!” Sam exclaimed, looking up at you.

“I’m fine, Sammy. It doesn't even hurt,” you said, closing the door behind you.

John was already gone.

You could feel your vision blur slightly but kept strong as you sat on the bed.

“Here,” Sam handed you an ice pack.

“Thanks, kid…. wait, where’s Dean?” you asked, realizing he wasn't there.

“He went out somewhere,” Sam said.

“What?! He left you here? Alone?!” you exclaimed, standing up.

“I-It’s okay, I’m a big kid,” Sam replied.

“You’re not a big kid, you’re 12. Get in the car. Do you know where the party is?” you said.

Your body and eye ached out in pain, as you bit your lip, taking a deep breath.

“Yeah. It’s….”

---

“You just embarrassed me in front of all those people!” Dean yelled, as you slammed the hotel door.

“You left Sam home alone!” you yelled at him.

“(Y/N), really, I’m fine,” Sam intervened.

“No, it’s not fine! Sam… just go in the bathroom!” you yelled.

Sam nodded softly, sitting in the bathroom as he closed the door.

“I don’t know why it’s a big deal! It’s one party!” Dean yelled, frustrated.

“It doesn't matter! You left him, by himself! He is 12, Dean! He is a child! A child in a hotel room by himself in the middle of the night!” you yelled.

“That’s not fair! Why should I have to sacrifice my life for him?!” Dean yelled.

“Because that's what being an older sibling is, Dean! You sacrifice your life for the sake of your brother! What if something happened to him, Dean?! What if he got hurt? What if a creature went after him?!” you screamed.

“Nothing happened! He was fine! You're so dumb and paranoid all the time! Nothing happened and nothing was going to happen!” you felt a pang in your chest as Dean spoke. You were taking away his life, his freedom. Just like John did to you.

“Go to bed,” you said softly.

“That's all you have to say now? Really?” Dean scoffed.

You opened the bathroom door, as Sam stood up.

“Both of you go to bed, it's late,” you said.

Sam nodded, walking to his bed.

You closed the door behind you, sitting on the ground as you held your head in your hands, ignoring the powerful burning sensation in your eye.

---

It would be easier to imagine that to be the worst argument that happened between you and Dean, but it wasn't the truth. Things only got worse after that, the two of you arguing about everything. The relationship between you two was now broken, and there wasn't any fixing it.

Sam left for Stanford. You were happy he got out. As time went on, you couldn't control if Sam and Dean hunted, you couldn't help them, they didn't need you anymore. John made it clear he didn't need you anymore.

He would send you on hunts by yourself, or with some random hunter, while he would go on hunts with Sam and Dean. Having a weak relationship with Dean also meant a worse one with Sam.

You and Dean had another fight. He was mad Sam left, he was mad that Sam abandoned the two of you. You were happy, you were proud.

Dad died. He sold his soul to save Dean. You should've done it first. You tried to talk to Dean, tell him it wasn't his fault. He only got mad at you. Another fight. You soon realized that it wasn't just the relationship between you and Dean that was broken, it was you.

Dean sold his soul to save Sam. He has a year left. He never talked about it, he never talked to you. After he died, you did the only thing you could. You sold your soul to bring him back. Unfortunately for you, you didn't know about Castiel, and how he was bringing Dean back. You were tricked. There was still a timer on your soul, a three-year timer, and there was no way out of it.

It was now your last month. Dean just came back from Purgatory, and you spent the last year looking for him. Your hallucinations had already started. You could feel your chest aching painfully as you took deep breaths. You had to tell them, but not just yet. In a little.

Time flew too fast. It was your last two days. Now or never.

“Sam’s not here right now,” Dean barely acknowledged you as you walked into the room.

“I know, I needed to talk to you,” you took a deep breath.

He turned around, facing you as he put his book down, crossing his arms.

“Is it important? I have other things to do,” he said.

You felt your face drop as you ran your fingers through your hair.

“N-No, we can talk later,” you said.

No, we can't. There won't be a later

He sighed, walking out of the room. You tried to speak, you tried to stop him, but you couldn't. You ran to your room, locking the door as you buried your face in your pillow, crying softly.

---

Your eyes were red as you walked to Dean, tears in your eyes. You had to tell him, you had to say something.

“I’m busy,” he said, turning his back to you.

“Just put the fucking book down,” he raised an eyebrow, turning to you before eyes widening, putting the book down.

“(Y/N)-” he started.

“I’ve spent the last three years trying to figure out how to say this. Just listen. I’m sorry, Dean, I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry we didn't fix things between us, I’m sorry for ruining your life or whatever. But I care about you, and I love you because you're my younger brother. And that's never going to change. I only wanted the best for you and Sam, that's why I made your life a living hell and I’m sorry,” you stopped, as you took a shaky breath, looking down. Your heart was beating painfully fast, and your vision was blurred.

“Why are you saying that?” he tensed slightly, looking at you.

“Please, take care of yourself and take care of Sammy,” you bit your lip, holding in your cries.

You turned your back to him, closing your eyes.

“Stop it. Why are you saying goodbye? (Y/N),” Dean put his hands on your shoulders, turning you around to face him.

“What did you do?” he asked.

You stayed quiet, taking deep breaths.

“What did you do, (Y/N)?” he raised his voice.

“I’m sorry,” your voice broke.

He wrapped his arms around you tightly, sniffling.

“I-I need you, you can’t… don’t… don’t say goodbye, (Y/N), please,” you could feel your heart breaking as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“Dean,” you started.

“(Y/N), you’re the best person I-I have. I’m sorry that I’ve been a bitch, but just listen. You sacrificed everything for us. You took care of us, you kept us safe. I never understood it before, but I get it now. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you let out a soft cry as you squeezed him tightly.

“I-I have to g-go now. I don’t want to be here when it happens,” you whispered.

“No, I want to stay with you. Please,” he begged.

The two of you held onto each other tightly, crying. There was nothing more you could ask for.

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural angst #supernatural family #SPN #spn fic #SPN FANDOM #spn angst #dean #dean winchester #dean winchester angst #dean winchester imagines #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x sister!reader #dean winchester x sister #dean winchester x sister reader #dean winchester x platonic!reader

270 notes · View notes

notfunnydean · 3 years

Text

Pairing: Dean Winchester / Castiel Warnings/Tags: Dean in panties, nsfw pictures, Dean takes nudes, onlyfans account, coming in panties, no actually sex between Dean and Cas, stalker!Cas, mutual pining Word Count: 4.246 Challenge: None Summary: Dean is working two jobs which is why he never has time to study for his classes. When he fails another test Bobby and Ellen tell him he should focus on his studies and not his jobs. But Dean needs money and then Charlie has a brilliant idea. He makes an onlyfans account, only for his roommate and secret crush Castiel to find him in an explicit situation. Link to fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31053908 ---

“Dean?”

Castiel isn’t sure why Dean is asleep in the middle of their living room, but that position can’t be very comfortable. Dean sighs in his sleep, but doesn’t make any move to sit up again.

His nose twitches a bit and Castiel smiles down at him. He can feel the blush creeping up on his cheeks, but at least he can admit to himself, that he loves to watch Dean sleep. He looks peaceful like that.

Adorable, maybe. Surely.

“Dean you have to wake up.” Castiel says and this time he shakes softly at his shoulder. Dean whines quietly, not fully awake yet, but at least he opens his eyes. Dean always wakes up startled and alerted, Castiel had learned that the first year they had been roommates.

These days he seems to feel better.

“Cas?”

“Yeah, sorry. You fell asleep over your book in the living room and it didn’t look very comfortable.” Castiel apologizes and Dean sits slowly up. His bones crack and he groans, Castiel tries to ignore the warm feeling in his stomach.

He knows Dean is straight and they’re friends, there is no place for his feelings.

“Aw fuck. Yeah I got a test tomorrow and wanted to learn for a bit, since I didn’t really have time the last few days.” Dean says and he sounds as if he wants to apologize for that. Castiel smiles fondly.

He knows that Dean’s father doesn’t believe in Dean’s choice to study and won’t pay for any loans or basically anything Dean needs. So Dean works at the roadhouse on the weekends and twice a week at the garage of his Uncle Bobby.

Well not “real” Uncle, but close enough.

“It’s okay. I would help you study but… we both know that’s not a good idea.” Castiel says and at least he got a smile out of Dean. It’s a really stunning smile.

“Nah that’s fine. I… I don’t feel like I’m gonna pass anyway.” Dean admits and Castiel knows how much that it had cost him to admit that. Dean always feels like he’s not allowed to show any weakness.

Castiel had never met John Winchester and he’s rather glad for it, because he sounds like an asshole.

“Dean, you know that Naomi and my father pay for my classes, so I don’t really need the extra money right now from my job at the library. You could cut work a bit and study more if it would make you feel better.” Castiel says, when he sits down next to Dean.

“Yeah. We talked about this, I know you want this new camera Cas and I would never take money from you.” Dean says and there is that soft smile again.

Dean doesn’t even know he’s too good for the world.

Castiel is studying photography, even though his parents would kill him if they’d know. They still think one day he is going to lead the family company and Castiel hopes that talk can wait a few more years.

Dean’s father at least knows that Dean is studying to get a degree in automotive technology, but he still hates the idea. It’s pretty similar, John wants Dean to do what he thinks is good.

“But Dean…” Castiel starts. Dean holds his hand up and this time his smile looks so tired. Castiel’s heart squeezes.

“I’ll find a solution.” Dean says but it sounds more like he already gave up on his studying.

“I could make us some tea.” Castiel offers because he doesn’t know what else he could do to help Dean.

Castiel doesn’t even own a car, so he surely wouldn’t be any help with studying.

“Thank you.“ Dean says with another smile even though he prefers coffee.

“Son of a bitch.“

“That bad?“ Charlie asks and Dean doesn’t even answer at first, instead he lets his head fall on his table.

“Failed.“ Dean mutters into the table and he can hear how Charlie swallows loudly. It’s the second class he failed in one month.

“Shit.“ Charlie answers and Dean sighs.

He is so fucked. Dean loves what he studies but often enough he is too tired to actually sit down and learn about it.

“One more fail and they’ll kick me out.” Dean says and his stomach squirms uncomfortable at the thought. He had really thought he would be smart enough for classes like this, but apparently he was wrong.

“What did Ellen and Bobby say?” Charlie asks carefully and Dean groans, before he bangs his head on the table again. Not like it helps, but it does hurt.

“That if I fail this one, they’ll fire me.” Dean says and he feels so ashamed. He knows they’re not firing him, because they’re angry or disappointed. No, they care. They want him to be able to study what he wants, but both know he often doesn’t have any time to study.

“And if you talk to them again?” Charlie asks and she sounds so sad herself. Dean knows that she’s the smarter one out of them and he tried to study with her together, but his schedule had been so tight.

“Nah. They’re right. They’d support me without me working, but money is tight for them as well. It’s just that I really need the money. Sam’s the best of his classes and I want him to stay in Stanford. He can’t know about this.” Dean says and Charlie nods. It’s not the first time he had told her this.

“Failed uh Winchester?”

Dean looks up, when he hears that voice and growls quietly. Seems like Alastair has way too much fun with this.

“Shut your damn mouth!” Dean says and he’s glad that their professor left already or he would be in so much more trouble. Stupid university.

“If you would only be as smart as you are pretty.” Alastair says then and his smile is so creepy again. Dean visibly shudders, but Alastair is already gone before he can say anything.

“That damn asshole.” Dean says, but Charlie is grinning at him.

“Well he’s right. Uh kinda.” Charlie says and Dean flips her off. What the hell, he had thought that they were friends.

“What?”

“I mean you are smart, dumbass. That’s not the point, but you are damn pretty. Even I can see that and I play for a different team.” Charlie says and Dean frowns, he is not really sure what she’s hinting at.

“What are you talking about?” Dean asks, but Charlie is already searching for something in her bag. Dean sees how she holds her phone up and then types something in it, before she holds it out for him.

“You could make an account on onlyfans.” Charlie says and Dean blushes at the pictures he can already see on Charlie’s phone. It’s not her, but Dean knows it’s Charlie’s favorite porn star. (And no he doesn’t want to explain how he knows that.)

“Hm.” Dean says, because that’s kinda risky isn’t it? But he heard before that some people made some good money there and he could easily do the photos at home and in less time than he has to work at the garage or the bar.

“I mean think about it.” Charlie says and she then switches the topic to the weekend, where they would meet up for some ‘epic’ games. Dean nods and shakes his head, whenever she looks at him, but he can’t concentrate.

Onlyfans. It’s all he can think about.'

“Hello Garth.” Castiel says and he waves at their neighbour, who smiles back at him.

It has just stopped raining and Castiel is glad for it. He’d been out for some classes and went grocery shopping after. It’s the least he can do when Dean is the one who is always cooking for them.

Castiel opens the door and is surprised that Dean isn’t sitting in their living room learning for his tests. Castiel knows next week there are at least two tests that Dean has to pass or they’ll kick him out.

The books are still all over their small table and Castiel smiles at the chaos. Before he had met Dean, he had lived alone and at first the chaos had really bothered him, but now he likes it.

It finally looks like someone lives here.

“Dean?”

There is no answer, so Castiel goes into the kitchen first and puts the groceries away. He hopes Dean would make them his special pasta tonight again, so he already puts those ingredients on the stove.

He calls out for Dean again, but it seems like he isn’t home. Castiel shrugs. Maybe he went out to get something for his studies? Castiel knows Dean doesn’t really like the library, but sometimes he went there for new books.

At least Dean had stopped working at the roadhouse, even though he had been in a sour mood about it, but Castiel smiles when he thinks back how Ellen had used a newspaper to get it into Dean’s head.

He does still work at Bobby’s garage for one or two days a week, but that’s it. Castiel had thought he’d put up more of a fight, but Dean had agreed in the end. Castiel is not sure how he does get by without earning the money at the roadhouse.

Maybe Sam had gotten himself a job to support himself.

Just then Castiel hears a noise back from where their rooms are and he walks towards it. Maybe Dean fell asleep again. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time.

Dean’s door is closed and Castiel knocks on it. He can hear music from inside and then opens the door when he hears Dean say something.

Just as Castiel wants to ask Dean for dinner, his mouth snaps shut and his eyes grow big. There is Dean, on his bed, spreading his legs and taking pictures of himself in bright purple panties.

Dean doesn’t seem to realize that Castiel is in the room with him, but then his eyes snap up and his face flushes.

Castiel is sure that he just died.

“Sorry, I uh… sorry.” Castiel says and then hastily closes the door. He is in full panic and actually stumbles on his way out. This is the most humiliating thing ever and Castiel’s heart almost falls out of his chest, with the way he runs back into their living room.

He has no idea what to do now.

Should he leave? Should he stay and talk to Dean about it? Oh god maybe Dean would move out now and Castiel would lose his best friend.

He hears Dean swearing and blushes himself now. He had seen Dean almost naked, writhing in his bed, in fucking panties and taking pictures of himself. Castiel is mortified when he feels himself growing hard at that picture in his head.

There is also the jealousy that makes itself room in his chest. Dean is taking pictures of himself for someone and… it’s not Castiel.

Dean’s door opens, just as Castiel is sure that he will pass out. Dean is wearing grey sweatpants and an old dark shirt, that looks like at one point it could’ve been Castiel’s, but all Castiel can think about is, if he’s wearing the panties underneath.

“So eh… can we maybe talk about this?” Dean asks and his voice is so soft. He’s obviously embarrassed, but he also seems kinda afraid. Castiel swallows.

“Yeah uh sure.” Castiel at least sits down on the armchair and he’s not even sure if he is ready for a conversation himself, but Dean sits down on the couch, his face bright red and Castiel knows he has to assure Dean that everything is okay.

“Well as you know I kinda lost my second job, so Charlie had this idea where I would make money with pictures of myself and… yeah that’s what that was.” Dean rambles and Castiel needs a moment to understand what Dean is telling him.

He wants to tell Dean that he doesn’t have to justify himself to Castiel. Dean can do what he wants. Castiel opens his mouth but something different comes out.

“You get paid for that?” Castiel hopes he doesn’t sound like he’s judging Dean or anything.

“Have you ever heard of this site called onlyfans?” Dean asks and he is looking down at his hands. Castiel swallows dryly, because of course he had heard about that. Hell he had an account on that site.

Not because he takes pictures of himself, but he likes to look at other people, okay? He's a photographer, but he could still learn a thing or two.

“Yeah. Sounds cool. I mean if you like that and it pays well. I’m not judging you. It sounds fun.” Castiel almost cringes at his own words, but Dean seems a bit relieved, at least he is looking up again.

Castiel licks his lips.

“It does pay pretty well.” Dean says and they both have to smile at that. It is certainly no secret that Dean is absolutely stunning and Castiel knows he will never forget that picture about Dean in those panties.

“And you still got time to study.” Castiel says, because it does make sense. Posting a few pictures certainly doesn’t take as much time as working six to eight hours at the roadhouse a day.

“Yeah, so uh are we cool?” Dean asks and he’s so nervous again. He’s even putting his hand in his neck, which tells Castiel that Dean would rather end this conversation now. Castiel feels himself nodding.

“We are.” Castiel agrees and Dean sighs so relieved. Castiel gets up again, because he would really distract himself now and he kinda hopes Dean would start with their dinner.

“Good.” Dean nods to himself and he actually walks towards their kitchen.

Castiel isn’t sure what triggers it, but he opens his stupid mouth another time.

“Next time maybe hold your camera a little bit lower, it will capture the view on your panties a lot nicer.” Castiel says and Dean stops. For a moment it’s way too quiet in their apartment and Castiel feels like he should apologize.

Dean doesn’t turn around though.

“Maybe you should show me a few tricks next time.” Dean says and with that he’s already out of the door and a minute later Castiel can hear how he’s already starting to cook dinner.

Castiel swallows.

“I’d love to.”

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” Dean says, even though he is alone in his room in front of his mirror. He’s wearing his grey robe, but that isn’t what makes him feel ridiculous.

Underneath he’s wearing dark green panties, which show off his ass and he can’t even hide his bulge in them. He’s even wearing a matching garter belt and stockings. He’d never worn something like that before.

Sure a few panties, because of his old high school girlfriend, who showed him how pretty they make him feel.

But this is more.

Dean had learned soon enough that his account got pretty popular and that mostly guys love to watch his short videos or dozen pictures. The comments are full of dirty lines and Dean has to say he likes the attention.

Today it’s different.

Today Castiel will take his pictures and to say that he is nervous, would be an understatement. His heart feels like it wants to jump out of his chest.

It’s even more embarrassing that he bought this outfit especially for Castiel. He doesn’t know they ended up here but Castiel will come inside any second by now and shoot Dean in this outfit.

“Dammit.” Dean mutters, because he would love for Castiel to find him beautiful in this. He’s pining for such a long time for Castiel by now and while he had understood that apparently Dean isn’t what Castiel wants, maybe today he can feel at least a bit wanted by him.

“Dean?”

Castiel knocks on his door and Dean nods to himself in the mirror before he tells Castiel that he can come in. Dean had even changed his bedsheet and put a few candles around the bed.

“Oh wow.” Castiel says when he sees the candles and Dean feels a bit proud. Castiel has his huge camera with him and Dean knows the quality of the photos will be so much better than anything his phone could produce.

“Yeah thought it would be a nice touch.” Dean says and he can see that Castiel is nodding. Dean chuckles a bit, because the whole situation is weird and embarrassing, but it’s also the hottest thing he’s ever done.

“Are you ready?” Castiel asks then and he is already checking a bunch of stuff on the camera. Dean schools his facial features and relaxes his shoulders.

“Yeah. Where do you want me?” Dean asks and only then realizes how that sounds. He can see that Castiel swallows and licks his lips and Dean’s dick - the damn traitor - jumps at that. Luckily he’s still in his robe.

“On the bed first.” Castiel answers and Dean can’t help but shudder at those words. Fuck, this sounds like they both mean something interely different. Something Dean would enjoy a lot more.

Dean lets the robe fall to his feet and Castiel’s eyes snap towards him. Dean almost wants to hide behind his hands, but instead he walks over to his bed and sinks down on the sheets.

“Fuck.” Castiel mutters under his breath, but Dean hears him anyway and he can’t help but smirk at that. Seems like Castiel does like his appearance at least. Dean doesn’t want to think about what that means.

So it’s what, Dean’s soul, that he hates?

Dean knows he’s not exactly relationship material with all his daddy issues and anger problems, but he tries. God, he would try so hard for Castiel.

“Maybe just start a few poses and I will see what I can do with those. After that I can give you a few directions, but I feel like you know exactly how you look good.” Castiel says and did his voice always sound so deep?

Dean tries to relax on the bed and spreads his legs a bit. He closes his eyes, because it’s easier. In most pictures his face isn’t seen and he wants this to stay that way. If it is in the picture, Dean is wearing a silky mask over half his face.

He puts the mask on now and then puts one hand on his cock, feeling already that he’s growing hard, just from Castiel watching.

“That’s good.” Castiel says quietly and starts to take a few pictures. Sometimes just of Dean’s lower part, how he’s touching himself so featherlight, sometimes from above him while Dean looks into the camera.

There is quiet music playing in Dean’s room, but all he can hear is his own heartbeat in his ears. Castiel looks like he wants to eat him alive and Dean can’t help the moan that escapes his lips.

Of course Castiel captures that moment.

“So fucking hot.” Castiel says and Dean arches his back a bit more, while Castiel kneels down at the side of the bed, to get a picture.

It doesn’t take long, before they both seem to relax and forgotten is all the shame and discomfort. Dean enjoys this a lot more than he should and he sucks lazily on his fingers, while Castiel groans.

Dean grins. Yeah he could get used to this. Before that it had been so awkward to take the pictures but this is fun.

“Spread your legs a bit more.” Castiel whispers and Dean obey happily. He’s fully hard by now, but those pictures always get him the most money anyway, so he wouldn’t complain.

It should be weird that Castiel sees him like this, but somehow it isn’t.

Dean rubs himself a bit and he can’t help but throw his head back, when precum leaks over his fingers and panties. He can see that Castiel is leaning over his hips now to capture that exact moment.

Probably doing a close-up of his dick. Dean groans.

Just then Castiel puts his own hand on Dean’s thigh. He squeezes and then takes a picture of that, Dean’s dick jerks and just like that he’s already coming.

Castiel doesn’t even bat an eyelash, he just continues to take a few pictures, his left hand still on Dean’s thigh.

“You look so gorgeous.” Castiel says and Dean’s face flushes from shame and excitement at the same time. Maybe even from the praise. Dean is breathing hard and he doesn’t really know what to answer.

He just came because his best friend had touched him. It’s not even an excuse that he’d been rubbing himself close to orgasm before. Shit.

“This better gets me a lot of money.” Dean says and Castiel nods slowly. He finally takes his hand away and looks through the pictures on his camera. Dean can’t really see if Castiel is hard himself, but it doesn’t look like it. He tries not to feel disappointed.

“I mean the pictures are amazing.” Castiel says and he doesn’t look up from his camera.

“Yeah perfect job for me, huh? I’ve always been sure that I’m good looking and that’s it.” Dean says and Castiel doesn’t seem to find that funny. No, he’s actually frowning at Dean. The head tilt will kill Dean one day.

“Don’t talk to yourself like that.” Castiel says and he’s actually angry. Now it’s Dean’s turn to frown back at him.

“We both know it’s true. Spare me the humiliation.” Dean says and he carefully gets up. He makes a face, because he hates the feeling of his wet panties sticking to his dick.

Castiel stops him though and Dean sits down on his bed once again. Castiel turns his camera around and shows Dean a picture of himself. It is pretty hot, but Dean doesn’t know what Castiel wants from him.

“What do you see?” Castiel asks and he shows him another picture. This one is just Dean’s face. His green eyes wide and he looks almost sweet. Had probably looked at Castiel while that had been taken.

Charlie always tells him how lovestruck he looks when Castiel is near.

“A hot guy?” Dean says slowly, because is that a trap?

Castiel’s frown grows heavier and Dean isn’t sure what he had said wrong. Castiel takes the camera back and then scrolls a bit longer through his pictures, before he shows it to Dean again.

This time it shows Dean studying at their couch table. Dean looks concentrated, biting down on his pencil. Castiel shows him the next picture. Dean obviously laughs at something in the picture and Dean shudders. That’s how he looks while laughing?

The next one is Dean eating and wow okay that’s even worse. Dean gets to know why Sammy complains about his table manners.

“Why are you showing me this? I know that on some days I’m not even hot.” Dean says, but Castiel shakes his head and his blue eyes look so sad.

“I wish you could see yourself like I’m seeing you.” Castiel says and Dean isn’t sure what he means by that. Dean at least puts his blanket over his lap, because he feels uncomfortable now.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dean feels himself getting kinda angry.

“Dean, you are so much more than hot. Of course you are incredibly handsome and I know exactly while you got so many fans on your site. But to me you are everything. You are so hardworking and I don’t know anyone else who cares so much as you do. Nobody has a heart that big and it’s the reason why I fell so hard for you.” Castiel rambles and Dean can feel himself tearing up.

“What?”

“I love you, you damn idiot!” Castiel says and Dean is speechless, that is what he always wanted and now he doesn’t know what to answer.

“Sorry.” Castiel says and he packs his things. Dean finally gets up himself and takes the camera out of Castiel’s hand. They should probably talk about Castiel’s stalking in the last months, but Dean wants something different.

“Cas, I love you too. It’s… Cas it’s always been you. I thought I wasn’t worth enough, because I don’t have money and nor am I as smart as you are…” Dean starts but Castiel doesn’t want to hear it.

Castiel kisses him like he’s a starving man and Dean relaxes into his arms. This is what he had always wanted. Castiel tilts his head a bit and just like that the kiss gets even better. Dean whines quietly, when Castiel breaks it.

“Do you seriously think I care about money? Dean you are the most selfless person I’ve ever met and don’t get me started on your nerdy side. It’s adorable.” Castiel says and he’s smiling so prettily.

Dean steals another kiss.

“You’re incredible, you know that? Why did you never say something?” Dean asks and Castiel shrugs a bit embarrassed.

“I was also very sure that you don’t like me. You kinda killed me with your outfit today.” Castiel admits and Dean gives him his camera back.

“Wanna take some more pictures?” Dean asks and he smirks at Castiel, who actually pushes him on the bed. Dean grins up at Castiel anway.

“Oh sweetheart. I got other plans.”

Dean doesn’t mind.

#destiel fanfic #destiel #destiel writing #my writing #deancas

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writethelifeyouwant · 4 years

Text

Dive Bar, Ch. 1/?

Pairing: Dean x OFC (Dany) x Sam (brief), Dean x Sam (eventually) Rating: 18+ Prompt/Summary: @spnkinkbingo square - Gay Panic (eventually, I don’t know how to write short things, so the gay panic comes later). Dany and Dean hit it off at a bar and Dean is confident it’s a sure thing. But Dean doesn’t know that Dany’s has a dare to complete, and he definitely didn’t imagine his night would end with his pull inviting his little brother to come home with them too. WC: 3278 Tags: alcohol, cheesy flirting, tags will change next chapter 😉😏🍆 A/N: Okay, let’s be real. Anyone who knows me by now, knows I can’t fucking cut to the chase. Welcome to part one of who knows how many. If you want the smut quickly, I encourage begging 🤣(and so does Sam 😏) Ambience: Really want to set the mood? Welcome to a dive bar in Nowheresville, USA: Playlist and Ambience

***

Sam told Dean he was crazy for even trying but Dean had a sense about these things; Sam didn’t. He was too considerate. Sam thought the fact she was out with her girlfriends meant she wasn’t interested, she wouldn’t want to be bothered, but Dean knew better. The ones who went up to get the next rounds were the ones who were looking to be bothered. They were separating themselves from the pack on purpose, to give guys the opportunity to pick them up and show them a good time. They wanted to prove to their friends that they were desirable. It wasn’t a bad confidence boost either, even if the guys that came on to them weren’t what they were after.

So, when the girl with the flirty eyelashes that had been staring over at Sam and Dean’s table for the past half-hour spun off her stool and went to lean against the unpleasantly sticky bar, Dean knew his window had opened.

“Watch and learn Sammy,” Dean smirked and slapped Sam’s shoulder as he sauntered over to his target, fixing his best smoulder in place.

The girl felt movement behind her when Dean slid up and motioned to the bartender that he was after another round, and she turned with a coy but almost predatory twitch to her smile. She knew exactly who was behind her.

“Hi there,” Dean was almost leering at the girl.

Across the room, Sam was resisting the urge to put his head in his hands and pretend he’d never met his brother. This was gonna be a train wreck. At the very least, Dean was about to end up with one of those margaritas the bartender was laying down in front of her thrown in his face.

Deciding to spare himself the second-hand embarrassment of watching Dean crash and burn with the coed he’d been eyeing since they arrived, Sam let his eyes wander the rest of the bar absentmindedly. He was nursing his second beer of the evening, after pounding back his first one with Dean in their stupid post-hunt ritual.

It was new, their whole ‘who can down their beer the quickest’ routine. Before Stanford, Sam was lucky if his dad let him split a beer with them after a hunt, let alone chug one. But ever since he and Dean had been back on the road, it was like Dean was trying to make up for a bit of lost time, and things that absolutely smacked of immaturity were becoming part of how they lived their lives. Like how now, after a successful hunt, they always raced to the bottom of the first beer bottle, leaving the loser to buy the rounds for the rest of the night.

When Dean started it, it was because he figured he obviously had the upper hand. He had years more drinking experience than Sammy, and there was no way the little geek had drunk that much at college.

What Dean didn’t know is that, for a while there, Sam and his friends had gone through a bit of a mental breakdown that manifested itself in endless parties, borderline alcoholism, and a very brief experimentation with some drugs on the ‘gateway’ end of the spectrum. Really, it was Sam’s best friend Brady pushing all of that, but with how he had grown up, Sam felt he was due some kind of breakdown, and it had felt good to let go for a little while. So, when Sam beat Dean in that first chugging contest, it became a whole different ball game. Now every time they did it, Dean was defending his honor. And he defended it about half the time but that night, Sam had won.

Exhaling quietly in amusement at the absurdity of their routine, Sam spared a glance back towards Dean at the bar. He quickly ducked his head down when he realised Dean and the girl were looking over at him, like Dean was talking about him. Why would you spend time telling the girl you’re trying to bang about your weird kid brother? Maybe she had asked who Dean was there with, just making small talk.

Yeah, that must be it, Sam thought to himself as he took another swig and realised he’d finished it on the sip before.

Torn between wanting another drink and not wanting to walk into the middle of a Dean Winchester flirt fest, Sam tried to quietly observe his brother again, hoping he would have struck out by now and it would be safe to approach. Peeking out from behind his hair Sam could see them leaning against the high wooden bar quite cozily, and laughing all nice and friendly-like.

Damn. It looked like Dean was gonna be right about this chick; she was into him. Really, she shouldn’t be surprised. Everyone’s into Dean. And now he was gonna have to sleep in the Impala tonight. For once he’d like to just have a drink with his brother and go home (to the motel) and sleep in his own (motel) bed. Just perfect.

When Dany turned around to acknowledge Dean, who had just sidled up behind her at the bar, she was very pleased with herself.

Guys are just too simple, she mused.

“Hi there,” Dean smiled down at her (he was considerably taller, despite her heels), charm turned on full blast.

“Hey yourself,” she smiled back. She was friendly, but careful not to be too forward. Dean was the kind of guy that felt proud of winning the chase, she could just tell. And considering how forward she was planning on being after she made sure this guy wasn’t an axe-murderer, she figured playing coy for a little wouldn’t hurt.

“So, this is kind of embarrassing,” Dean leaned down conspiratorially but still had to speak quite loudly to be heard above the noise of the bar. “My brother over there is a little shy.” Dean jerked his head behind him, to indicate where he had left Sam a moment before.

Taken by surprise, Dany leaned back to look at Sam sitting alone at his high-top, who happened to look over at the two of them at the same time. Sam quickly ducked behind his bangs, trying very hard not to make eye contact. Dany giggled to herself. She had figured this guy was about to chat her up but he was over here asking for his brother who, based on his reaction a second ago, definitely was shy. How cute.

“And,” Dean continued speaking and pulled Dany back from her thoughts of his shy and cute younger brother, “he wanted me to ask you for your number, so he knows how to get a hold of me tomorrow morning.”

It took a second, but when the penny dropped Dany burst out laughing. Dean beamed, proud of his choice in pick-up lines, and let Dany get the giggles out of her system. “I know, I’m adorable.” Dean shrugged as if to say ‘what can you do?’ and leant back against the bar, bringing himself closer to Dany’s level. “I’m Dean.” He held out his hand and she took it, still stifling the last of her laughter.

“Well, let me congratulate you on your originality Dean. I genuinely have not heard that one before.”

“Do I get a prize?” Dean’s eyebrows arched cheekily.

“I don’t know,” Dany shrugged. “What do I get out of this deal?”

“Sweetheart, you get whatever you want.”

“How about we start with a drink?”

“Sure your friends won’t mind me taking up all your time?”

Dany looked behind her to where she’d left her friends. They were all giggling and looking at her and Dean at the bar but trying to look like they weren’t paying attention to them at all. She shook her head despairingly at how unsubtle they were. Her friends were the worst. But she supposed they had more of a vested interest in how her night went than usual. Tonight was her dare night.

“I think they can live without me for a little while.”

“Wow, you’re really putting ‘em back sweetheart,” Dean laughed as Dany drained another beer. She was matching him round for round.

“Well, I came out to have a good time tonight,” Dany shrugged, smiling mischievously.

“How’s that working out for ya’ so far?”

“I’d say, so far so good, Dean.”

Dean made finger guns at the empty glasses. “Get you another?”

“Yeah, thanks,” she grinned as tucked her hair behind her ear.

Dean rocked up to the bar and motioned to the haggard looking student behind it that he was after refills. When something brushed against his shoulder he jumped, reaching under his jacket until he realised it was just Sam.

“Hey,” Dean drew out the ‘y’ on the end of his word. “Ma’ man Sam.” Dean smacked Sam’s shoulder and his brother tried to tamp down his bemused grimace.

“How buzzed are you, dude?”

“Just the right amount Sammy,” Dean grinned wolfishly as he accepted the new beers from the bartender. The kid tried to take Sam’s order but Sam brushed him off. “Woah, you’re not tapping out?” Dean’s concern was almost comical.

“Yeah, I’m just gonna go back to the motel. Grab some shut eye.” Sam tried to sound sage, like he was making this move because it was the smart, responsible thing to do, and not let on that it was his loneliness driving him home too early for Dean’s approval.

“No, come on man, I’m not letting you be a sap tonight.” Dean waved over to the bartender for another beer, over Sam's objections. “N- listen. You’re gonna take this beer, bring it over to my table with Dany, and we’re gonna pick you out one of her friends.” Again, Sam tried to protest but there was a cold glass sloshing into his hand and a commanding grip on his shoulder and… he was always gonna follow Dean. “They’re all college chicks Sam. One of them has gotta be geeky enough for you.”

When Sam got dragged to the edge of the table where Dean had left Dany a moment ago, something felt off. Sure he felt a little awkward becoming the third wheel while Dean sealed the deal on his sleeping arrangements for that evening but that wasn’t what he noticed the most. Dany looked far too happy to have the extra company at the table. Most girls with Dean in their tractor beams didn’t want anyone interfering, he’d been on that end of the stick one too many times to forget how it felt. But Dany was relaxed and smiling, beaming even, when Dean pushed Sam into a chair between them.

Sam tried to settle into the easy conversation that Dany and Dean were having but he’s too preoccupied trying to suss Dany out to contribute much, despite Dany’s attempts to bring him into the discussion.

“So Sam, Dean said you were the college goer in your family, what did you study?” Dany sipped her beer with her eyes trained on Sam.

“Uh, pre-law,” Sam’s answer turned up at the end like a question. He wasn’t questioning what he studied at Stanford but he was questioning Dany’s motives in talking to him. Why wasn’t she just ignoring him and flirting with Dean?

“Ah, smart guy. Interesting.”

“What are you studying?”

“Media and communications. I want to go into news or television.”

“Well you definitely have the face for it,” Dean cut in smoothly. Dany flushed but she didn’t look embarrassed. She knew what she looked like.

“Okay captain obvious,” Dany laughed. “You usually try this hard to get girls?”

Sam snorted into his beer, highly amused someone was calling Dean on his shit besides him.

“Well I’m sitting here drinking with a beautiful woman. I don’t see any reason to pull punches,” Dean grinned. “Speaking of,” he leant forward craftily, “you got any other beautiful friends we can hook him up with?” Dean jerked his thumb towards his little brother. “I feel bad leaving him high and dry for the night.”

“Dean!” Sam objected loudly, rolling his eyes. Dany just giggled.

“Yeah I think I can help with that.” She drained her remaining drink and stood up. “Let me grab us one more round.”

“Sounds great sweetheart,” Dean swatted at her ass as she passed him on the way back to the bar, ignoring Sam’s further objections to Dean’s new-found mission to get him laid.

“Dude what are you doing?”

“Helping you!”

“I don’t want your help!”

“Well trust me, you need it.”

“Do not!”

Sam’s objections were cut short when Dany returned with three beers and three shots on a tray; one clear and two amber. Dean reached for the drinks to help her unload. “What are we celebrating sweetheart?” He nodded to the shots.

“We’ll find out soon,” Dany hedged, without giving up any more details. “So Sam, what’s your type?”

Sam nearly choked on his beer. “Look Dany, ignore Dean please, I don’t need-”

“No, come on, I’m invested now. What are you into? Boobs? Ass? Both?” Dany’s questions were curious but clinical. None of the teasing that Dean usually injected into the conversation when he tried to get Sam to open up about his sex life. Something in her tone was compelling.

“Are we actually having this conversation?” Sam glanced between Dean and Dany astonishedly. “Did you slip something in my drink?”

Dany laughed at Sam’s attempts to deflect but she could also see something in his face twitch, like his brows tugged up the corners of his lips. Something in him wanted to answer the question, wanted to open up to her. So she pushed.

“Well?”

Sam chuckled once ruefully, more to himself. Cracked his neck and settled back in his chair. Dany could tell he’d made up his mind, he was playing now.

“Both,” Sam smirked. He was invested now too, and he wanted to see where Dany was taking this. Plus, it had been ages since he’d gotten any.

“Okay,” Dany nodded and processed the information, deciding how that affected her line of questioning. Dean was keeping to himself in his corner, but he was having trouble hiding his grin behind his beer. This was already more than he’d ever been able to tease out of Sam.

“Okay, so, not specific about body type, what about attitude? Feisty and forward?” Dany leant forward and trailed her finger down Sam’s arm. He smirked. “Or shy, and sweet?” She withdrew her hand, and ducked behind her hair.

“Okay, why do I feel like I’m getting shut out here?” Dean laughed from his over his drink, not sounding as cocky as he hoped he did.

“Don’t worry Dean, I’m not letting you go anywhere,” Dany smirked. “I’m just doing what you asked, making sure Sam here is sorted out for the night too.” Dany turned her smile back to Sam. “So which one? You like feeling in charge? Or you like getting a little roughed up like Dean over here?”

Now it was Dean’s turn to choke on his beer. “Excuse me sweetheart, what makes you think-”

“Come on Dean,” Dany batted her eyes back in his direction. “I know what you’re after. I know you’re a boob man, that’s why you picked me. Your pick up lines and bravado, they’re looking for validation. You’re looking after your little brother, trying to make sure he’s happy, taken care of… you want someone to do the same thing for you.”

Sam and Dean were both a little speechless. Dany reached past her empty beer and grabbed the shot glass with the clear liquor.

“You sure you don’t actually study psychology or something?” Sam drained the last of his beer, impressed.

“I’m not a shrink,” Dany smiled and shrugged. “I’ve just spent some time with some people, I know what to look out for.”

“So, who are you picking out for me then?” Sam leant forward, now profoundly interested in what Dany may have deduced about what he wants in the bedroom.

“Come clean time,” Dany knocked back her shot with a grimace and let the courage that came from lower inhibitions bubble up. “My friends and me, we play a game most weeks, pick a dare out of a hat. This week mine… was ‘have a threesome.’” Dany peeked up from behind her hair to look at Dean, who looked like he had just won the lottery. Sam’s expression was cautious.

“Okay, so who else we taking home with us sweetheart?” Dean rubbed his hands together and turned to look back at Dany’s group of friends.

“Sam.” Dany answered simply.

“Which one’s Sam?” Dean was still scanning the group of coeds.

“Uh Dean, I think she means me…”

“My dare was a threesome with two guys.” For the first time that evening, Dany’s grin was a little sheepish. “Look I uh- I’m not just doing this because of the dare, it’s not coercion or anything. I wouldn’t be asking you both back if I didn’t want it.”

Dean hadn’t found his voice yet. He was just staring at Dany, mind clearly running a mile a minute, and resolutely not looking at Sam. Sam, on the other hand, couldn’t take his eyes off Dean. The only recognisable emotion on Sam’s face was the tinge of fear in his eyes, like he was waiting for the bomb to go off, and getting more and more anxious by the second the longer it didn’t.

“Why don’t I give you guys a minute to talk,” Dany stood up and pushed the shots she had bought towards them, “and I’ll go grab my purse and meet you by the door?”

“And by ‘you’, you’re speaking in the strictly plural sense?” Sam checked, fingering the whisky in front of him.

“That’s up to you guys,” Dany smiled and rounded the table, dragging her fingers over Dean’s shoulders on her way back to her friends. That seemed to be enough to jumpstart Dean back into speaking.

“Dude what the hell?” Dean’s voice was so, so close to a squeak, Sam really had to hold in his laughter.

“What?” Sam was good at poking the bear.

“What do you mean what? What the fuck?”

“Yeah, I think that’s what she wants Dean. She wants to fuck.”

“Yeah with me and my little brother!” Sam could tell Dean wanted to be shouting but he was keeping his voice to a hiss as best he could.

“Yeah, so?”

“So?!”

God Dean was so easy to wind up, Sam grinned. “Dean, have you never had a threesome before?”

“Uh, yeah, of course.”

“You’re lying,” Sam was astonished. He figured of course Dean would have done this kind of thing before. “You’ve never done one before?” Sam had to double check.

“What, like you have?” Dean defended angrily.

“Uh, yeah,” Sam’s grin was an unusual combination of sheepish but proud. “I um- I have actually, yeah.” Sam reached back and rubbed his neck, at a loss of what to do with his hands right now.

“What the fuck did you do at that college?”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me Dean.”

“Okay, so what, you’re saying you’re okay with this?”

“I’m saying, there’s a real pretty girl over there by the door that wants to have sex. And she wants it so much, she wants two dicks in the equation.” Sam fixed Dean with a firm, decided stare. And he was pretty sure that Dean’s uncertainty was about to evaporate. Dean finally met Sam’s eyes and Sam saw the fight melt out of him.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean breathed, then downed his shot.

***

Tags: @negans-lucille-tblr @hawkerz12 @akshi8278 @babybrotherandthedemon @dylansbabygirl24 @mineshinamary @popsensationnicole23 @spn-problems @donthateme454 @doyouknowsamw @peridottea91 @delightfulbakeryaliendeputy @fictionallemons

I tagged everyone who liked my ‘announcement’ post. If you want to be tagged or you want me to take you off tags, just lmk!

#spn #dive bar #dean x ofc x sam #dean x sam #wincest #spnkinkbingo #gay panic

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kikikittykis · 4 years

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The Bush and a Lovable Nephilim

Summary: Team Free Will 2.0 takes a vacation

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Jack Kline X Reader (Romantic)

Characters: Jack Kline, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None just Fluff

Wordcount: 1231

Note: This is for my Dad for Father’s Day yes I know that it’s 4 months late but oh well its the thought that counts

Masterlist

(Y/N) was looking through her dad's stuff that he left her when he died. There was photo’s with pictures of her family before they hunters and before her mother passed away due to a vampire. There were other things in the Box like postcards and a keychain with a bunch of keys attached to it and took a closer look at the keys and she realize that they are for her dad's old cabin where she had so many amazing memories that she decided she wanted to make some more with Sam, Dean, Jack and Cas. So (Y/N) made up her mind and went to find Dean to convince him to take a vacation to drive to the cabin she loved for a weekend of relaxation without monsters and only each other. (Y/N) thinks that they all need a vacation from angels to Demons and anything in between. (Y/N) walked into the library where Dean was nursing a beer and reading a book. (Y/N) walked into the library and sat across from him at the table. Dean then noticed her and said “What is it”

“Well my dad still owns a cabin and I want all of us to go for the weekend to take a break”

“ I don't know (Y/N) when has that ever worked for us”

“Come on Dean please, I'll bake you a pie” Dean pondered what (Y/N) sad for a moment before making a decision that they would visit the property that (Y/N)’s father owned. A smile graced her face as she embraced Dean in a bone-crushing hug. He patted her on the back. Then (Y/N) walks away from him and skipped out of the room to tell Sam, Cas and Jack. That they were going to be visiting her property. (Y/N) knew that the first day at the cabin would be used to clean up the property. (Y/N) found Jack in his room and told him to pack his bags because they were going on a vacation to Virginia. It was hard for (Y/N) to stop grinning as she talked to Sam and Cas. Then walked back to her room and started to pack because (Y/N) was ready for going on a well needed vacation. Dean was annoyed to say the least when (Y/N) said to him that they couldn't take baby instead of taking baby they took a truck that they could put the weed wacker in and any other tools they made need on their vacation. “We’ll Clean up the cabin and then start to get rid of the weeds Sam and I can get groceries” (Y/N) said as they turned onto the small road where the entrance to her property The entrance had a withered Red Gate that had been there since (Y/N) was little (Y/N) got out of the truck and walked up to the gate (Y/N) tried many keys before one clicked into the lock and clicked open (Y/N) moved the gate ver and then motioned for Dean to drive the truck passed the Red Gate (Y/N) went and locked the gate back up and put it it's in its place then (Y/N) went back to the truck and into the passenger seat and Dean and (Y/N) switched spots so that she could drive down the lane way. There was a tree in the middle of the lane way so (Y/N) got out of the truck and went into the cab to pull out two pairs of gloves and a saw “Jack you're going to help me” (Y/N) said to Jack as he scrambled out of the truck and (Y/N) gave him a pair of gloves to put on he slipped them on and followed her to the tree (Y/N) put the saw to work and completed it in cutting it into pieces she dragged the remains with Jack's help off of the trail. (Y/N) and Jack continue down the path as Sam and Dean followed in the truck with Castiel. (Y/N) and Jack come up to the next fallen tree (Y/N) hands Jack the saw. Jack tries to say no but (Y/N) says that she'll work with him on how to cut a tree.

“Jack what is it”

“This place is important to you am I right”

“You are very right Jack” “My dad used to take me here when here we would have bonfires, roast marshmallows and go for walks not to mention I learned how to shoot here” After (Y/N) finished the Fallen trees and cleared away the brush (Y/N) that Castiel to the task of dusting while Dean had to get the power up and running. Sam Jack and (Y/N) went to the grocery store to get everything they needed pie for Dean marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate for s'mores. Sam and (Y/N) we're in the meat (Y/N) picked up hamburger meat and bratwurst sausages then and told Jack to get a few things for them so that they can browse the alcohol without the Lovable Nephilim asking questions because sometimes Jack asked too many questions and they needed a small break. Jack came back with the food. The group finishes shopping and went back to the property where the power to the cabin was up and working. (Y/N) went to the shed and brought out a barbecue that worked on charcoal instead of propane there was a memory that (Y/N) had of her father when she was around 8 they went out to The Bush for a weekend and her dad cooked steak and potatoes on the BBQ then the two of them had a fire and roasting marshmallow. (Y/N) got the barbeque up and running for them to use to cook the sausages. Dinner was amazing Team Free Will waited until sunset so they could set up a fire where they drank beer, roasted marshmallows and cooked hot dogs while sharing stories until it was only (Y/N) and Jack as the fire was burning low (Y/N) pulled up Jack and decided to teach him how to dance just by pulling him along to an invisible Melody after they Danced (Y/N) pulled Jack down to the ground and looked at the stars as she pointed and named each of the constellations that were in the sky.

“I tried to quit hunting once”

“Really”

“Oh yes that’s when Sam was in Stanford that I did that”

“Where did you go”

“NYU”

“What’s that?”

“New York University, I was in Astrology”

“Did you grow up with Sam and Dean”

“You could say that”

“John and My Father were friends, sometimes when John was on a hunt in the area he would leave the boys with my dad and I”

“What made you want to quit”

“My mum died on a hunt and she had always wanted me to go to university”

“Was your dad happy about your choice”

“He was the one that put in mine and Sam’s applications after we scrapped them”

“He told Sam” “Boy if you want to get out than do it” “Then he gave Sam his acception letter to Stanford”

“Your father must’ve been a great man”

“He was the best”

#Jack Kline #jack kline imagine #jack kline x reader #jack kline x you #castiel x reader #cas x reader #castiel imagine #alexander calvert #supernatural #supernatural imagine #supernatural x reader #alexander calvert x reader #Sam Winchester #sam winchester imagine #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester #Team Free Will #team free will imagine

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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ecto-american · 4 years

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If Found Please Return to Danny Phantom

Phic Phight Oneshot for @imperfection-at-itsfinest: When Jack manages to get his hands on Danny Phantom's ghost hunting logbook, an investigation reveals some information about ghosts and the infamous specter himself that a scientific study would never cover.

Read on FFN and AO3

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It would be wrong of him to read it.

Jack kept staring at the book in his hands. It resembled a diary, the front design being colorless but a pressed design. The moon with stars, with no words, and the diary itself felt unusually thin. There was no lock, as if it was almost inviting him to just read it. Jack had, in fact, already opened to the first page, and the first words greeted him. In a standard font read: If Found, Please Return to: and the name scrawled, in surprisingly tidy handwriting, was the name Danny Phantom.

What an absolute find. It was pure dumb luck. He had seen Phantom drop it, but Jack had went looking for it in hopes that the ghost teen had dropped one of the stolen Fenton gadgets. Only to recover...this book that he had taken home and into the privacy of his lab for study.

The idea of Phantom keeping a diary was kinda funny. He never struck Jack as the type to write down his deepest darkest secrets or teenage embarrassments in a book. That would imply that the ghost had some kind of emotions. They didn’t. They were blobs of ectoplasmic energy.

So it should be okay for him to read, right? Why was he so hesitant? Well...it was an invasion of privacy. But it was fine. Phantom dropped it in the park. Phantom was a menace to society. There was likely evidence in this journal that could explain all of the ghost boy’s terrible deeds, that could prove that he truly was evil. This diary could change everything.

...Jack had children though, and he knew both were avidly creative. Scrapbooking, drawing, painting, writing. They were stress outlets for his girls, and he wouldn’t ever dare dream of invading their privacy like that. So he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. Phantom deserved privacy, right?

“Jack? Are you coming to dinner?” Maddie’s voice snapped him from his thought process. She hadn’t made a noise as she came down the stairs. But Maddie was a much better stealth hunter than him.

“Yes, yes! Sorry, I was distracted,” Jack apologized. He set the book down on the table. Maddie rose an eyebrow at him.

“Did you get a new ectobiology book?” she asked. His eyes glanced to the book, and he shook his head no. Maddie came over to him, studying the book cover. Of course, it didn’t resemble any of the scientific texts that they owned.

“I don’t know how to explain it…” Jack said slowly. He held it out to her. Maddie accepted it.

“This looks like it belongs to the kids,” she stated. She opened the first page, and Jack saw her eyes widen. Her breath hitched, and she looked up to him “Jack...where did you...get this?”

“He dropped it during a fight,” he replied. “I thought it was Fenton tech, but…”

Her eyes sparkled, and she shut the book. A wide grin had appeared, and she threw her arms around her husband.

“Oh Jack! This could teach us so much! If this really is a journal or some kind of diary, then he may have recorded motivations! Thoughts! We can really get into how Phantom thinks and a raw, honest, firsthand account from Phantom himself! This changes everything!”

She was right. She was absolutely right, and he hugged her back. They were scientists first and foremost, and this journal could fill in so many missing blanks about ghosts. It was a starting off point. Jack’s mind raced with all the things they could possibly learn. Just from a simple peek of the book. That was worth more than the invasion of privacy of a ghost that caused so much havoc, destruction and pain.

“We should look at it right now!” he exclaimed. Maddie pulled away with a small frown.

“After dinner,” she reminded him. “I finally got everybody corralled upstairs for a family dinner. It’s nearly impossible to get either of the girls at the same time.”

“Oh, right!” Jack nearly slapped his forehead. Yes, they were scientists first and foremost, but before even that, they were Mom and Dad. “First thing after dinner.”

“First thing after dinner,” she agreed with a smile.

Upstairs, he saw that Jazz was already serving herself. Chicken, mashed potatoes and peas. His youngest was pouring iced tea into glasses for everybody.

“Hey Ghost-kateers!” Jack greeted cheerfully with a grin. Both kids groaned in embarrassment. Perfect.

“Daaad!” his youngest complained, a whine hitching as she put the pitcher of ice tea back. “I told you, if I’m going to be some kind of ye olde soldier type, I wanna be a knight, like at the renaissance fair.”

“Ah, but if you’re a ghost-kateer, you can get an anti-ghost musket!” Jack teased. As he walked past her to get his own food, he playfully ruffled her pixie-cut hair. She waved his hand away.

“But as a ghost knight, I can get a cool sword!” she protested. Jack shook his head in fake disappointment.

“Never bring to a ghost sword to a ghost musket fight, baby boo,” her dad replied.

“Can’t shoot what you can’t see!” she shot back with a grin. Jack had to hand it to her, and he just chuckled.

“Can we please have a ghost free dinner?” Jazz scowled.

“Yes, yes, let’s save ghosts for after dinner,” Maddie agreed. Jazz shot her a grateful look, and Jack focused on getting his serving of dinner from the stove. His youngest pushed her sleeves up, exhaling. Jack stole a look at her and frowned. She had some sweat collected on her forehead.

“Honey if you're hot, you can just take your sweatshirt off,” he told her. She shook her head no.

“No, I'm fine,” she insisted. Jack was skeptical.

“You sure?” he asked.

“Mhm!”

Jack shrugged a bit. She was always insisting on wearing a hoodie, no matter the weather. If she got hot enough, she’d take it off. No need to force it. He got his food and took his seat.

“How's school going?” Maddie questioned. Jazz lit up a bit, and her sister flinched. She raised a suspicious eyebrow at her youngest.

“I managed to get a B on my chemistry test,” the youngest spoke up with a forced smile.

“That’s excellent!” Maddie’s demeanor shifted as she smiled warmly. “Keep it up!”

“Yeah!” The youngest seemed to visibly relax. “Sam’s been helping me study.”

“That’s good, I always studied better when V-man or your mom helped me,” Jack nodded at her as he cut up his chicken.

“Oh it’s true, I used to help your father study for all of our shared classes,” Maddie confirmed. “Otherwise he’d get so distracted.”

“Yeah, Sam just explains it super well,” their daughter agreed. “Tucker’s been going over math with me a bit, which helps some.”

“Well if you need a tutor, just let us know, and we’ll help you arrange one,” Maddie smiled. “What about you, Jazz?”

“Pretty good,” she replied. “Mr. Lancer asked if I wanted to be his TA this summer, which I really do. It’ll look good on a college application, and I might even get paid!”

“Have you been narrowing down where you might wanna go?” Jack asked. Jazz eagerly nodded.

“Yeah! Oxford is my number one choice, but I also would love to go to Yale or Stanford. I’ve been talking with the college counselor about what else might look good on an application for them that I can do over the summer. I wrote them down in my planner notebook earlier-”

“Hey, that kinda reminds me,” her sister interrupted. “Have you guys seen one of my notebooks? I think I lost it,” she asked them. Jack stared at her. The reminder of the notebook he actually had found. Maddie seemed unbothered by the question. This wasn’t unusual, for the parents to have to play “where’s my stuff?” with the kids.

“What notebook?” Jazz asked hesitantly.

“My important one,” came the reply. Jazz frowned lightly.

“Sorry, princess, haven’t seen any notebooks laying around,” Jack replied. He saw the briefest of a cringe cross his youngest’s features. “Did you leave it at school?” Her shoulders slumped.

“I don’t think so?” she said hesitantly. “I’ll have to check tomorrow. I was so sure I had it earlier…” Her voice trailed off before she forced a smile. “If you see it, let me know!” She picked up a forkful of chicken, only to freeze. The clattering made Jack glance up curiously as she was turning her attention to Maddie. “Can I be excused? I have some homework to get done.”

Maddie let out a soft sigh. So much for family dinner.

“Of course, just make sure you come back down before you go to bed to get your chores done,” Maddie nodded at her. The young Fenton snapped to her feet with a thanks, fully abandoning her dinner as she went to the stairs. Jazz stared after her sister, craning her neck to track her movements before hurriedly shoveling more mashed potatoes in her mouth.

“Uh, I’m not that hungry, and I totally forgot to do this online assignment,” Jazz spoke, standing up, taking hers and her sister’s plate. She was already walking away before either parent could truly give permission. “I’ll put our plates up and clean up in a bit!”

“A-alright?” Jack hesitated, watching his other child put the plates on the counter before rushing up as well. Another child down. They seemed to grow up so fast.

“Least they’re doing homework,” Maddie sighed lightly, shaking her head before taking a drink of her tea. “Oh well. Might as well take their lead and eat in the lab?”

“Please,” Jack agreed. He stood up, taking his plate. “I’m dying to see what Phantom has to say.”

January 10

Skulker: 1; captured

Ectopuss: 1; captured

Box Ghost: 8; captured

Ember: Fought; got away

Fenton Thermos: half-full

Fenton Fisher: untangled

January 11

Vultures: 1; got away

Cujo: 1; played fetch and he went back to the GZ

Fenton Thermos: Full

Ghost Bazooka: overheated and doesn’t shoot anymore, take apart and fix it

January 12

Skulker: 2; got away

Box Ghost: 3; captured

Sidney: 2; got away

Fenton Fisher: tangled, untangle asap

January 13

Skulker: 1; captured

Box Ghost: 4; got away

Fenton Thermos: damaged, won’t suck up ghosts

I met a new ghost today named Desiree. She got away, but it allowed me to discover a new ghost power. Ghost ray.

Maddie furrowed her brow as she studied the words. She stood at the table, her dinner half-forgotten as she thought on the words.

“It sounds like a record,” Jack mused, and he ate another spoonful of peas. Maddie nodded in agreement.

“I think we found Phantom’s logbook,” she agreed. “I’m assuming these are the ghosts he’s fought. And he seems to be recording his powers too. This is huge, we can match up what we know about his powers and what he’s claiming.”

“And he’s recording the status of our equipment.” Jack frowned. “Why would he care?”

“Yeah, he made note that he was going to fix the Fenton Bazooka too,” Maddie pointed out. The scientist flipped through the pages, only to stop at a page, staring curiously. Maddie laid the journal on the table, pressing the spine so that the pages stayed open. She read the page aloud to Jack.

December 19

I hate my life. I hate this existence. I look in the mirror and wonder why it has to be this way. Why am I the one cursed to be this freak? Why is everything about me and my body wrong? For once, I wish something about me was normal, that somebody about me could be right. If Desiree wasn’t such an unreliable asshole with wishes, I’d give everything I have to wish that life could, for once, allow me to be a normal teenage boy.

Jack listened to her in a stumped silence. This couldn’t have been a pre-death thought process of a moody teenager. It was written too recently, and the words hit a sorrowful chord to him. He didn’t intend to, but he quickly began to feel sorry for Phantom. He was very young. It couldn’t have been easy to lose everything at that age. His daughter was his age. Jack cleared his throat.

“It’s not just a log then?” Jack questioned. Maddie shook her head, flipping the pages back.

“No, I think it’s a mix. There’s still records of ghosts and FentonWorks equipment,” she replied. Using a leg, she pulled a wheeled chair to her to sit in. She leaned back, and she pulled the journal to her. After a moment of flipping through and scanning pages, she settled on a page about a third of the way through. “It seems like this is when he began to record things other than just ghosts.”

“What’s it say?” Jack wondered. Maddie read aloud the next few entries as Jack silently continued to eat.

April 4

I only fought this shitty panther today, and he still got away. I’m such a fucking idiot. I can’t believe he got away. I was too slow. All I do is fuck up. There’s ghostly activity happening around the school, and I just can’t figure it out. I feel like I can’t stop them anymore. I don’t know what’s going on, why I suddenly suck so much. I honestly probably just always sucked, and now it’s starting to hit me. [scribbles] and [scribbles] were trying to make me feel better, but I fucked up. It was only one ghost today, and I couldn’t catch them. It destroyed an entire store, and it’s my fault.

April 8

No ghosts today, surprisingly. But [scribbles] has been acting weird lately. The other day she poked and prodded me at dinner. No clue what that’s about. She also tried to give me this speech that I can talk to her about anything, and that she’d love me no matter what. That makes me think she found my binder. I’m honestly kinda freaking out. I knew I shouldn’t have left it out like that. She’s such a nosy know it all.

“Phantom must keep more records than just this,” Maddie lightly mused. “He has an entire binder full of information that somebody discovered.”

“Maybe on other ghosts?” Jack theorized. “He’s recording his fights, he must be also recording information about them.” Maddie’s eyes lit up.

“That makes so much sense,” she agreed. “He probably keeps so many kinds of things written down and logged. I wonder where he’s keeping it? Obviously paper, which is a bit odd. I figured a teenager would move to the digital age…” Maddie paused.

“Maybe he’s older than we think he is?” Jack suggested. “He could have died fifty years ago, and just be more comfortable with writing things down.”

“Oh, that’s true,” Maddie mused. She put down the notebook to take a long sip of her drink. Jack picked it up to observe the page she read.

“Phantom has neat handwriting,” he noted. “He’s not fighting ghosts when he writes these.” Jack’s eyes scanned the words. “...I wonder who he’s scribbled out.”

“Allies?” Maddie shrugged. “He probably went back and blacked out some of the names. Privacy. Especially if this isn’t the first time he’s lost this.”

It made the most logical sense. Jack skipped the purely log entries to one that had more written, and he read it aloud to his wife.

April 10

She was feeding on us. Spectra, the Casper High “psychologist” was feeding on emotions, like some kind of emotional vampire but she’s a ghost. It’s so scary. I saw her do it. She asked [scribbles] and [scribbles] about their lives. What made them unhappy, and why. And when they left, I saw her absorb? I guess how I’d describe it? She absorbed the energy into her skin and it just seemed to instantly revive her, and it made her happy. When she did it to me, I could just look in her eyes and know that she enjoyed every minute of my misery. I managed to stop her, with [scribbles] helping me. It was weird. She didn’t seem afraid of me. I don’t know why.

Spectra: 2; captured

“Ghosts can feed off of energy!” Maddie exclaimed. “Human energy! We always suspected it, but this is confirming something!” Jack glanced up at her excitedly. It was the first real, true ghostly discovery that Phantom was revealing to them.

April 13

All I do is fuck up lately. Because of me, this ghost dog just absolutely has been causing havoc on this girl’s life. She blames me. And I don’t blame her. I ruined her entire life. She lost her house because of me. I didn’t mean to. I tried to stop the dog, but he just won’t respond to anything I say. I can’t capture him. I’ve been trying. I’ve been just calling the dog Cujo. After the Stephen King book, because damn is this dog giving me one fucking nightmare of a time.

Cujo: 3, got away

April 16

[scribbles] kissed me. It was to force me to change back, and it worked, but she kissed me. It was great. She smelled like lavender. I don’t think my heart’s ever beaten so fast. Afterwards she clarified to me that it was just a fake-out make-out. It didn’t feel like it. I don’t want it to be. But she’s my best friend, and I can’t lose her. So I agreed, and when I came home I cried. My dad caught me, and I pretended it was just girl problems, even though that excuse made me feel even worse. He got me some ice cream, and we watched Star Trek together. It didn’t really help that much, if I’m being honest.

Anyway, apparently Cujo’s trained. He knows his commands. [scribbles] thinks it’s because he was a guard dog when he was alive for Axion Labs. For a guard dog, he’s such a playful puppy though, he loves his squeaky toy. And [scribbles] became a hunter specifically to kick my ass. It’s my lucky month. But I deserve it. Will there ever be a day where I actually can do more good than bad?

Skulker: 1; captured

[Scribbles]: 1 Red Huntress

Cujo: 1, got away

“Phantom has a family?” Maddie wondered. She chewed on her food as she thought. Jack shrugged, an odd, unsettled feeling hitting him as he put the book down for a moment. He used his spoon to push around his peas.

“I mean, we all do,” Jack reminded her. “Just...I didn’t think Phantom still talked to his family. After his death. Or did such...non-ghost things with them.” Watching Star Trek with his dad? Jack did that with his own kids all the time. It was his and his youngest daughter’s favorite show to watch together. Jazz typically preferred documentary series, and Maddie was too bothered by scientific inaccuracies to really enjoy science fiction. So it was always “their thing” and knowing that Phantom did it too was...too human.

“Yeah, I didn’t...really expect him to still be haunting them,” Maddie said. Jack could tell that this was disturbing her a little.

“But ghosts can retain their memories from life it seems,” Jack spoke up. Maddie stared at him. “The dog remembers commands from his life as a guard dog. What extent, I’m not sure.” Maddie hummed curiously.

Jack picked the book up again, skipping through more boring logs to other words.

April 29

Ember: 2; captured

Fenton Thermos: full, empty

The past few weeks have been terrible. I have definitely come to the conclusion that I really am developing a crush on [scribbles]. Or maybe I always had one, I dunno. Is this really just an effect from Ember’s supposed spell? Does ghostly mind control really last? I think I always knew that I liked her though. I mean, ever since I told her that [scribbles], she’s been so supportive. She even cut my hair for me, which really pissed my parents off, but they ended up admitting that I looked better with my hair short anyway. Almost like it’s meant to be, huh? Ha. [scribbles] is also one of the only two people who know my deeper secret. She’s been so supportive through that too. She calls me Danny, and every time she refers to me as that, it makes my heart go crazy.

But would she even like me? Would she even wanna be with somebody like me? I don’t think I’d be her type. Some other friends I met at this local support group have complained about the struggles of dating. The stories are depressing, and it makes me worried that while [scribbles] will always love and accept me as a friend, that she’d never be able to love me as a boyfriend. I hate my life.

“Aw, Phantom has a little girlfriend,” Jack half-joked, only for goosebumps to raise and an odd chill run down his spine. He looked to Maddie for her opinion, and her face was scrunched up.

“That’s a bit creepy,” she commented. “He’s pretending to be human.”

“I dunno, Mads,” Jack shrugged. He re-read the ghostly teen’s internal conflicts. “Why would he pretend to be human in a journal that nobody’s meant to read?”

“He has to be sharing it with his allies,” she argued. “Those people he’s been scribbling out. Phantom has to be pretending for them. To keep them around. He even mentioned ghostly mind control.”

She pushed her mostly-finished plate from herself, motioning for Jack to hand over the journal. He complied, and Maddie flipped through it. She stopped, and she set the journal down on the table once more. Leaning over, she studied the spine. A finger ran along the inner spine, and she frowned.

“Pages are missing,” she noticed. Jack pushed his plate out of the way to lean over as well.

Indeed, the top of the diary revealed that it was meant to be a normal, full diary. Now that Maddie pointed it out, it looked like well over a fourth of the diary had missing pages. Jack squinted, pulling his hood over his eyes. He used his googles to better examine.

“They weren’t ripped out, like in a ghost fight,” Jack told her. He pointed to what remained of a page, a barely noticeable strip. “It was carefully cut out.” Maddie narrowed her eyes to get a better look.

“You’re right,” she mused. “Phantom did this purposefully. Probably to hide stuff from his allies.”

“But why hide some stuff and not others?” Jack wondered aloud. “Clearly this girlfriend figure is an ally, but he can’t be...sharing this with her, right?” Maddie pulled back from the notebook to lean in her chair with a heavy sigh.

“...I don’t know,” she admitted. “I don’t think he would. But he’s also a ghost, they do weird things.” Jack didn’t know how to reply, and so he continued to read.

May 16

The past few days have been so full of drama. Walker ruined my life. He absolutely ruined it. He set out to make me the most hated person in Amity Park out of pure spite, and he succeeded. I’m public enemy number one. I can never win. For a while now, I had debated telling my parents, because I so desperately want their support, but they were part of the news coverage calling me a disgusting, evil ghost. I ended up crying yesterday. I don’t think they’ll ever truly love me if they knew. I also failed Wulf. Another failure on my plate. I’m just waiting for it to all crash down on me.

Walker: 1; sent to the GZ

Wulf: 1; sent to the GZ

Walker’s goons: at least 14, all captured

Fenton Thermos: overflowingly full

“Oh this is just becoming nonsense,” Maddie complained. “He’s lying. We were there, Jack! We saw him attack us.”

“I know, I know, he did, yeah, he did,” Jack tried to gather his thoughts. “But why would he lie in this? I don’t think anybody was meant to read this?” Jack flipped through the pages. The further he flipped through in, the more he could tell that some sections had more carefully cut out papers than others. Why was Phantom cutting out? What was he hiding? Why was he hiding it?

“He meant for somebody to read this,” Maddie lightly argued.

“Yeah, it seems like it, but…,” Jack trailed off. He shook his head a bit, flipping back to where they had left off. “I dunno.”

“Hold on a second,” Maddie urged him, standing up. “Let me get something to write with, we should take some notes.”

“We can just use the scanner to make a copy of the journal afterwards, and we can further analyze it afterwards,” Jack suggested. Maddie thought on this, and she nodded, but she still reached for some scrap paper and a pen.

“Good idea, we should probably read through it fully first anyway,” she agreed. “But I still want to jot down some thoughts.”

“Of course, of course,” Jack replied. He knew that’s how she thought and processed information best, and it was always from her notes that he could visualize his own theories properly. He took a drink of tea before he continued reading the next true entry.

May 24

My entire relationship with my other crush (not [scribbles]) was a lie. She was being overshadowed by Kitty the entire time. This was my first real girlfriend, and it was all fake. I had assumed I was so lucky. I found a girl who knew and was okay with both of my biggest secrets. When I got home I ended up just going straight to my room. [scribbles] brought me dinner, but I didn’t feel like eating. Is this what life is going to be for me? I don’t want it to be like this. The only good thing is that [scribbles] doesn’t know either secret alongside our brief relationship.

Least Kitty and Johnny seem happy again. For now at least. I swear, they’re always breaking up and getting back together.

Kitty: 1; sent back to the GZ

Johnny 13: 1; sent back to the GZ

Shadow: 1; sent back to the GZ

Jack could lightly hear Maddie taking notes on her scrap paper, the pen scratching at the surface. He didn’t comment on it, silently flipping to the next page, and he continued to read.

August 19

I was forced to really face the reality of how much I fucked up [scribbles] life. I hate it. I’d do anything to take it back. It makes me wonder if I should just retire. Am I even really doing anything to help? Am I just a nuisance? Everybody thinks that.

Rationally I know I can’t. I’m the only one who can properly deal with the ghosts, who has the power and abilities to fight back without getting killed. I have to do what I can, but I just wish I could do it without making so many mistakes. [scribbles] said that it’ll be okay, and that it gets better, but it sure doesn’t fucking feel like it.

Skulker: 3; finished

Red Huntress: 2; temporary truce?

“He’s so full of...emotion for a ghost,” Maddie finally spoke up.

Jack glanced at the paper she had in front of her. There was some notes of what they had been learning so far, and there were emotions written in all caps with a line under, and a list of various emotions. Emotions Phantom seemed to be displaying. Guilty, despair, loneliness, self-hatred, self-doubt. Despite the few entries, it was already quite a list.

“It’s not just him either,” Maddie continued. Jack rose an eyebrow at her. She didn’t immediately reply, fingers on her lips as she stared down at the journal. “He’s giving emotions to other ghosts too.”

Jack stared down blankly at the journal in his hands.

“Where?”

Maddie began to write, and as she wrote, it clicked. Spectra’s joy in hurting others. Kitty and Johnny’s relationship. Walker’s spite. Cujo being a playful puppy. According to Phantom, and against what they knew as scientists, ghosts were experiencing a wide variety of emotions and for different reasons. It was weird.

Jack continued to read.

October 17

I don’t know what happened the past few days. It’s this weird blur. According to [scribbles] and [scribbles] I did a lot of bad things under Freakshow’s control. [scribbles] hugged me and told me that it was nothing that we couldn’t fix, but I doubt that. Why does this keep happening to me? I don’t want to hurt people. I want to be a good person, and I want to help Amity Park, but I don’t know what keeps happening. Everything’s a fog, and I’m exhausted.

Freakshow: 1; arrested by APPD

Circus ghosts: freed from Freakshow’s control, went back to the GZ

Replace Fenton Anti-Creep Stick, print out another sticker to put on it

“Freakshow...that was the weird circus guy,” Jack interrupted himself. Maddie nodded.

“Yeah, and if Phantom’s right...he could control the ghosts,” she mused. “So there’s a way for humans to take control of ghosts...That’s something to look into. If we can control the ghosts into staying away, it’d be such a massive scientific breakthrough.”

“We should look into Freakshow more, and see if we can talk to him!” Jack agreed. “Maybe he’ll share something with us.” Maddie smiled softly.

“I doubt that,” she replied gently. “But there’s no harm in trying. What else does it say?”

November 8

I have to fight Pariah Dark. I’m terrified. I don’t think I’ll live through it. How can I live through fighting the actual ghost king? I may never see my family again, and I can’t even tell them what happened to me if I die. I’ve been debating telling [scribbles] that I like her, but I don’t think I could bring myself to do it.

What happens if I die? I have no clue. I’m scared to find out. I can’t die now. I have to make it back. I’ll go missing, and I won’t even be declared dead as my parents’ son. Nobody will know who to really look for. I have to come back. Maybe if I succeed, and people like me again after this, I can tell my family everything.

November 10

I couldn’t tell them. My parents still despise part of me, despite what I’ve done. I know they love me, cause my mom’s already been fussing over me like crazy because of my injuries. [scribbles] said she cried when they couldn’t find me, and that my dad had gone out looking for me all over the city, even in the dangerous parts. They of course love me, but do they really love me unconditionally?

Jack felt his voice trailing off as he hit the end. He coughed lightly, and he took a long drink. Maddie stared off into nothing. The only thing he could think of was his own search for his baby girl. He wasn’t alone, bumping into several other parents desperately looking for their missing children, and several children who got separated from their parents. The entire day was somber and frightening, and Maddie had spent the entire day glued to the phone. In case she called them.

It was all...too real, and Jack flipped past more logs. He couldn’t help but begin to take note of how every single day had a log of ghost fighting activities, even if Phantom didn’t write down his feelings every day. This was so much more than the ghost hunting duo ever expected, more attacks than they were recording.

His eyes rested only for a moment on December 19, and he decided to just skip it. They had already read it earlier. No need to refresh those memories. More logs, and more missing pages, and he came upon another one.

March 26

I ripped out a lot of pages, more than I intended. I can’t risk anybody finding out what happened, but also other pages revealed too much, so I kept them tucked away where nobody could ever find them. I’d burn them, but I don’t want to lose the ghost hunting data. It’s okay now. I fixed the problem and assured that everything’s going to be fine. Possibly better. I made the right choice this time, and now I know that one day, I will grow a sick beard.

I know somebody knows my secrets now. All of them. She had known for months but wanted me to tell her. She asked me if I had a name, and ever since I told her that it was Danny, she’s been calling me that whenever she can. It made me cry the first time. It’s so great to have her know everything now. She loves me no matter what. I couldn’t ask for a better person. Even though she found out because I’m an idiot. This entire thing also made me realize how important it is to keep those secrets, and how poorly I’ve been keeping them.

I didn’t ever mean for this to turn into a diary. I wanted to keep track of ghost fights. But it honestly helps with both the dysphoria and the stresses of being a ghost. I just went back and scribbled out names. Just in case. In the future I need to be more vague.

But this is also the end for one secret. If things go wrong then well. I don’t know. I’ll make it up as I go along. But I know that this is who I am, and that I’m hitting a point where I need help to just be me.

Him: 1; captured for good

Skulker: 2; captured

Desiree: 1; captured

Ectopusses: 1; captured

Cujo: 1, sent back to the GZ

Fenton Thermos: full

Fenton Anti-Creep Stick: destroyed, get new bat and sticker to put on it

Also learned a new ghost power: Ghostly wail. A scream that can just absolutely fuck somebody’s day up. I have to use it sparingly though.

Jack closed the journal, and he set it flat on the table. His mind was blank, and he couldn’t read Maddie. She continued to stare at the closed book, hand in pen but almost unsure as to what to even jot down as a note. He leaned in his seat, finishing his drink. Maddie exhaled deeply, dropping her pen in favor of stretching.

Neither said a word. Jack knew that this journal was not any kind of trick. It was too raw and emotional to be anything more than the thoughts of a teenage ghost. He regretted reading it. It held some interesting information, and he was sure if he dug deeper, that he would find more. But as it stood, his own intense guilt was settling as he knew that he just took too personal a look into the private emotional afterlife of Phantom.

“This is a lot to take in,” Maddie finally spoke. Jack only nodded.

The basement door opened, and they heard dual pairs of footsteps hop downstairs. Jack instantly brightened, and he turned in his chair to smile as his kids soon came into view.

“Hey, is this a bad time?” Jazz asked. She glanced between them, and Jack immediately shook his head no.

“No, no,” Maddie replied quickly. Jack saw her push the journal and her notes, along with her pen and a few spare lab tools, carelessly into a drawer to help assure the Fenton kids that they weren’t interrupting anything. “What’s up, sweetie?”

“Well, I have something that I wanna talk about,” their youngest spoke slowly. Jack noticed that she had finally taken off her hoodie, and that while she wore her normal tomboy attire, that something was a bit off about her. He couldn’t place it. Jazz stood close to her, an arm full of books clutched to her chest, though he couldn’t make out any titles. “It’s something important, and I don’t really want to put it off any longer.”

“Is something wrong? Are you in trouble?” Jack asked. His daughter shook her head no.

“Oh, no!” she said. “It’s just…”

She took a deep breath, and soon, their son began to explain.

#phics #my phics #phic phight #team ghost

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corancoranthemagicalman · 3 years

Text

Okay so I thought of this all in the shower so it's a wee bit messy but like TL;DR do you think Dean was paralleled to John in his Widower Arc and if so, what does that say about how John treated Sam vs how Dean treated Jack?:

Canonically, Sam Winchester was most like John in the earlier seasons. More distinctly, Dean was not like John despite trying to be. Yeah, Dean drove Baby and he wore the jacket, but those are all the marks of someone trying to fit into a shadow and not being their own man. When Sam walked away from Stanford, he was his own man. And in his grief for Jessica, we see how he paralleled John with his hunt for revenge.

Interestingly, Dean raised Sammy in opposition to how John raised them. While I'm not here to enter the great John Winchester debate, I am here to say that according to John's canonical journal, Sam's first word was Dean and that means something. [At least, I'm pretty sure I read that in his journal. I don't even remember anymore. These are thoughts and nothing more.]

[Also, that being said, while I’m not here to debate John Winchester’s parernting, if you think there were no issues with how he raised his boys then this post is not for you. My John Winchester feelings are for another post, though because they are hella complicated.]

But anyways, obviously Dean made sure Sam had holidays and birthdays and dinners when John wasn't there. And we hardly get any flashback of John that wasn't centered around a hunt. So, textually Dean was Sam’s parent. His big brother who raised him is much more accurate, but this is important in reaffirming that Dean Winchester is fairly Mary-coded.

Dean's growth from defending his father against Sam to calling his dad out to his own inner demon was a big ol' chef's kiss. He literally calls how he sees his father's personality - "an obsessed bastard." [Can you tell I obsess over that line? It’s so good.]

Still despite this, despite the meta-narrative contrasting how Dean [Mary-coded] influenced Sam, when All Along The Watchtower happened, when Castiel was pierced by Lucifer's blade, some part of Dean went out the window.

He had parts of his father's personality. He can get obsessive. He does drink. Etc, etc, etc.... but here we see him reach his father's level of obsessive and drinking. This is Dean's Widower Arc.

Surprisingly, despite Dean being Mary-coded and early season Castiel being John-coded (I'm just saying.... perfect solider. All he knows. Obsessive to the point of Bad Decisions Baby~. They're not exactly alike by any means, but there was some similarities. But this might have been sharing similarities with Dean and these similarities within Dean were parts of his father that he was projecting onto himself. I digress---)

Despite all of that, in the Widower Arc, Castiel has become the girl on the ceiling. He is Mary-coded/Jess-coded. It's just instead of burning in fire on a ceiling his grace burned out from his body on a muddy floor. Which there's probably some symbolism there but so not the point of this post and I don’t know if I can mentally handle disecting that. Dean Winchester becomes his father.

I feel like they narratively did not draw enough attention to this. [Which ain’t that the same old song and dance? How much sustenance did this show have that they just... never used?] On one hand, Dean is truly excellent with kids. Truly. There's a lot of canon evidence proving this fact. And again, he literally raised Sam. However, whether due to his grief or Jack being Grown-Shaped or both, he never treats Jack like a child. Which is a direct parallel to how John treated his boys as soldiers. Except in this case, Dean doesn't see Jack as a soldier. He sees him as a weapon.

Do you see where I'm going with this.

Yellow Eyes/Lucifer kills Mary/Castiel because they want The Boy With The Demon Blood who shall be a weapon in the Apocalypse.

[Also, side step, if Lucifer is Yellow Eyes-coded for this story arc, then Mary taking him back into the Other World is THAT much more meaningful because she's taking down the demon who fridged her but anyways that's another digression---]

Obviously, it was Lucifer who killed Castiel and not Jack, but Dean blames Jack for Castiel's death. His mere existence made these things come after him, and Castiel defending his son is what got him killed.

Mary Winchester was killed because she tried to stop Yellow Eyes from getting what she promised him. She was killed defending her son.

We know John treated the boys differently. I know it was probably because Sam was a baby and Dean had a full four years on being dad's little soldier first, but---

And giving thought to the fact that Sam's Blood Addiction arc was working with the fact that he was monster coded---

Do you think, in John's grief, he blamed Sam for Mary's death and do you think this - whether intentionally or not - this was what Dean’s attitude toward Jack was paralleling?

Because that is canonical of Dean, internalizing grief into anger I mean. He feels such intense sorrow, but sorrow doesn't get work done. Anger does. So he gets angry and he stays angry and if he's angry at Jack, at least he's functioning.

I personally think it was A Choice™️ that John Winchester was not included in a lot of the arcs that Sam was going through that addressed him as The Boy With The Demon Blood. He was only really centered in arcs where Yellow Eyes was the forefront of his attention. And I also think it was A Choice™️ that John Winchester made a deal for Dean’s life.

ACTUALLY I JUST LOOKED THAT UP TO MAKE SURE I WAS REMEMBERING THAT DEAL RIGHT AND--- AND JOHN LITERALLY TELLS DEAN TO KILL SAM IF HE TURNS EVIL. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD JACK KLINE IS SO SAM-CODED. I CANNOT----

Also, also --- what the fuck. According to the wiki it was established that John went to Hell for over a century and didn’t take up the offer to slice and dice for his moment off of the rack, but Dean Winchester did, and what does that mean in how Dean was raised even if he’s trying to be like his dad, and----

[That is SO another post.]

I don't know where I was going with this, honestly. I think I was just trying to give voice to numerous parallels they unintentionally established but never followed through with. My point was definitely to drive home that Jack Kline is Sam Winchester in Dean’s John-coded Arc.

And Dean's Widower Arc is just so meta-textual to me. Castiel subtextually dies in childbirth and Dean is left raising his kid with his brother and that's just SO MUCH to unpack that we apparently did not have time for and it drives me WILD.

Dean's Widower Arc is where I started my glass diet tbh.

#Dean's Widower Arc #spn #spn spoilers #spoiler for ... the whole damn show #John Winchester #I am tagging this character because it is ABOUT him #this is not a hate post and no I will not be removing the tag #I've had people ask me on non-hate posts to remove the name John Winchester and that's not happening. I'm talking about him. He gets a tag.#I have digressed enough with this entire post.#Destiel #because that's what it's all about ;)))#Just Kidding this is actually about Dean Winchester and his relationship with his son Jack Kline #like actually #and this is about Jack Kline paralleling Sam Winchester #so this is also about Sam Winchester #this is also about Sam Winchester's childhood and how I go absolutely feral thinking about his earlier arcs #where the whole world thought of him as a monster #And Dean was defending him from the whole world #And this is about Dean's grief in his Widower Arc #and this is about how Dean handles his grief #this is about how Castiel/Mary/Jessica were fridged with the sole purpose of driving Dean/John/Sam to obsession #This post is my shower thoughts contextualized #and the interruption of me looking something up and eating glass mid-writing this #There is a LOT of digressing happening here #Messy Messy Thoughts Y'all #I just have a lot of them #that and feelings #Jessica More #Mary Winchester #Castiel Winchester

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you-a-southpaw-doll · 3 years

Text

His Salvation ~ A John Winchester One-Shot

Summary: Based on SPN, S1, E21 “Salvation”. John gets threatened by Meg the demon if he doesn’t give the Colt to her. Meg threatens him, and harms Leigh while still on the phone. John tricks Meg by handing over a fake Colt. John, thinking Leigh (who’s the only woman to help him with hunting, with the boys, with coping with the loss of Mary, and also the woman he loves) is dead, goes to give Meg the Colt. On the way there, he gets a call from the hospital saying his wife has been involved in an accident. It takes him a minute to realize that Leigh’s actually alive since their secret code was to call each other husband and wife if they ever got in trouble. The search for the demon that killed Mary is put on hold. There’s never the car crash that happens at the end of S1, so John doesn’t need to make a deal with the yellow-eyed demon to save Dean.

Warning(s): Language. Angst. Threats - spoken, unspoken, well known, good, and bad. Violence. Fluff. Leigh’s a badass. Not beta’d, so...there’s that. I only have Grammarly used on this.

Author’s Note(s): Hey, y’all! I know it’s been a really long, hot minute since I last posted an update. Writer’s block is an absolute demon. Depression too. And with everything else going on this year, it’s just been crazy! But, here’s a John Winchester One-Shot! If I get enough feedback for it, I’ll do a part 2! But y’all gotta let me know! Hope everyone’s staying safe, staying negative from COVID, and that y’all have a Happy Holiday season! As always, I’m here, so feel free to reach out!

Word Count: 3,828 words

Relationship(s): John Winchester x Leigh Sullivan (OFC) [romantic].

Characters: John Winchester. Leigh Sullivan (OFC). Dean Winchester. Sam Winchester. Demon!Meg. Mary Winchester (Mentioned).

Taglist: @negans-network @prettyboynegan @mychemicalimagines @spnnnxangelsx @rockinkel21 @misskittycat02 @band--psycho@ofxallxwexlost @iron-halt @thamberlinawrites @ravenwings73 @lettherebepink @stoneyggirl @sebs-padawan @cladd716

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Story Time:

John’s P.O.V. ~ Salvation, Iowa - 2006

“Meg.” Sam says into his phone, shock lacing his voice.

My head jerks up from where I’d had it resting in my hands after arguing with the boys, well Dean really, ‘bout them not being able to get me to answer the phone. I know I suck at phone calls. To be honest, I really can’t stand phones...they’re just too confusing for my 51-year-old ass, even if you’d never know that’s how old I am since I look like I’m in my late 30s, maybe late 40s.

I’d much rather use a landline than a cell phone. It’s a miracle the ones I do have even stay charged. I have Leigh to thank for that. She’s been my saving grace, my salvation for well over two and a half decades. Hell, maybe even longer than that. She helped me raise the boys after my wife, Mary, died when Sammy was six months old, even though she was just barely outta her teenage years herself.

She was 15 when we first met 25 years ago and she became Dean’s babysitter and later Sammy’s. After Mary died, Leigh was right there, willing to help me with the boys as I set out on the mission to find Mary’s killer. I’d never wanted to get her dragged into the lifestyle of a Hunter, but she insisted, saying someone needed to help take care of the boys.

And...after rescuing her when her parents were killed by a werewolf a few years later, she stuck ‘round even more. By that point, she was 22, and made it clear she was an adult and could do whatever she wanted which just so happened to stick with the boys and I. So, I did what I had to, and we learned the ropes of being a Hunter together.

After Sam went to college a few years ago, it was just Dean, Leigh, and I. We continued on hunting. Sometimes, Dean would go on his own hunts, but Leigh would always stick right by my side, hunting with me. Somewhere around the time that Dean was in high school, Leigh and I ended up together.

I was hesitant at first, considering I’d known her since she was a teenager, but she pointed out that she was only 10 years younger than me and had always had a crush on me. So, after a rough hunt and a night of patching each other up, we’d fallen into bed together. From that point on, we were together.

The boys approved even if Dean had been a little hesitant at first; he didn’t want anyone to take his mom’s place. No one would ever take Mary’s place, but there was no denying the role Leigh had in all of our lives. She’d been the one to calm me down after Sam left for college, something I’d always wanted for my boys, but after being a Hunter for so long, I was only worried ‘bout their safety.

That was why I didn’t want Sam to go to California, to Stanford. I felt if he were there, I wouldn’t be able to protect him as easily from the things that go bump in the night. But, Leigh calmed me down, telling me that Sam was an adult now, and could make his own choices as well as being able to protect himself since we’d taught the boys a lot of what we knew.

The only reason Leigh’s not here, with us, with me, is because she went to see our friend and fellow Hunter, Caleb up in Lincoln, Nebraska, and help him with a case. The boys and I are working a lead that, hopefully, brings us closer to finding Yellow Eyes, the man, well, the demon responsible for Mary’s death.

Both Dean and I stare at Sam as we listen to his conversation with Meg. A woman who’d befriended Sam when he and Dean had a spat outside of a small town in Indiana a while back. She made her true colors show when she’d tried to have them killed. Only...she ended up falling out of a seven-story window.

There’s no way a human could’ve survived a fall like which means...she’s not human...she must be...fuck. She’s a demon. I get pulled outta my thoughts when I hear Sam’s voice and feel his eyes on me.

“My dad. I don’t know where my dad is.” He says.

I raise a brow, running a hand over my face and letting out a sigh. I stand and walk over to the motel window, looking out of it for a moment before turning back to Sam in time to see him holding his phone out to me. I sigh again and take it.

“This is John.” I say, my voice deep and empty of any emotions.

“Howdy, John. I'm Meg. I'm a friend of your boys. I'm also the one who watched Jim Murphy choke on his own blood…”

My heart tightens in my chest at her words. Jim was a close friend, fellow Hunter, and a priest. He was also murdered yesterday. I found out from Caleb when the boys and I were heading up here to Salvation, Iowa. Jim’s death...hit hard. It wasn’t ideal to get close to anyone, not in our line of work, but sometimes it couldn’t be helped.

“...Still there John-boy?” Meg’s voice cuts through the phone again.

“I’m here.” I ground out.

“Well, that was yesterday. Today, I’m in Lincoln.”

My heart tightens again.

“Visiting another old friend of yours.”

My lungs stop working.

“She wants to say hi.”

My knees nearly buckle as my stomach drops to my chest. No. No. God-fuckin’-dammit! No! I take in a breath, trying not to give away the turmoil currently going on inside me. ‘Specially not when I hear her voice through the phone.

“John, whatever you do don’t give…”

I hear Meg shush Leigh and my heart breaks.

“Leigh?” I let out in a deep breath, trying my best to keep my emotions from being relayed to Meg.

The boys both jerk their heads up and look at me, worry and confusion on their faces. I blink and close my eyes for a second.

“You listen to me.” I tell Meg. “She’s got nothing to do with anything. You let her go.”

“We know you have the Colt, John.” Meg replies, her voice even.

“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout.”

“Oh. Ok. Well, listen to this.”

My brows furrow and a moment later, my whole world comes crashing down. The sound of a knife or something equally sharp slashing through something followed by the sound of Leigh gasping and clearing drowning in her own blood fills the phone. I slump against the wall, my knees barely holding me up at this point.

“Leigh. Leigh!” I somehow manage to yell, nearly crushing the phone against the side of my face.

“Save the boys, husband.” I hear the love of my life croak out as she bleeds to death.

My heart breaks at the title, something I’d dreamt ‘bout hearing her call me for the last few years, but hadn’t happened, and was really just our code word we’d use when we were in a tough situation and wanted to let each other know everything was gonna be ok. Except. This time. It wouldn’t be ok.

Not as I hear the sounds from Leigh slow.

“You hear that?” Meg taunts. “That’s the sound of your friend dying. Now, let’s try this again. We know you have the Colt, John. Word travels fast. So, as far as we’re concerned, you just declared war. And this is what war looks like. It has casualties.”

I growl. “I’m gonna kill you. You know that?”

She laughs. “Oh, John, please. Mind your blood pressure. So, this is the thing. We’re going to keep doing what we’re doing. And your friends, anyone who has ever helped you, gave you shelter, anyone you ever loved. They’ll all die. Unless you give us that gun.”

I take in a deep breath, not saying a word as I listen to her words and try my damndest to hear any sign from Leigh. Something to tell me she’s still alive. But I know...I know it’s not possible. Leigh’s dead. The love of my life. The first woman I’ve let myself love since Mary. The woman who helped raise my sons.

The badass woman who I was gonna ask to marry me once I’d ganked the evil son of a bitch that killed Mary. The only woman who had somehow broken down all the walls I’d built up. She was dead and I’d failed her. Failed to protect her. Failed to...fuck. I’d failed her. And I couldn’t fail her anymore by letting Meg and her demon friends kill more of mine and Leigh’s friends or any other innocent person.

“I’m waiting, Johnny.” Meg says. “Better answer before the buzzer.”

“Okay.” I sigh.

“Sorry? I didn’t quite get that.”

“I said okay. I’ll bring you the Colt.”

***

Leigh’s P.O.V. ~ Lincoln, Nebraska

After Meg slit my throat, and I managed to croak out a few words to John, everything got darker with each passing second. By the time Meg hung up the phone with John, I’m barely holding on. I can feel my heart barely beating and breathing is almost impossible, but I refuse to give up. I refuse to die like this.

So, I make it seem like I had. This ain’t the first time I’ve faked my death. But it is the first time I’ve faked it while being alone. Meg being in the room doesn’t count. I mean being alone by not having the Winchesters nearby. Just barely holding on, I hold my breath and keep my eyes open, staring right at Meg.

I want her to think I’m dead and for her to stare right into my eyes as she does. I watch, not moving, not blinking, barely conscious, as she tosses the phone on my lap, and sneers at me.

“What the hell are you looking at?” She hisses before walking outta Caleb’s office.

I wait for a solid 15 seconds, even though it feels like an eternity, to make sure she’s truly gone before I force my thumb to press five buttons on my phone, hoping it’s right. A second later, I hear the call connect as it starts ringing, the noise amplified by the speaker. Another second passes before I hear the call truly connect.

“911. What’s your emergency?” The operator asks.

“Ambulance.” I croak out. “Now. Please.”

“Ma’am? I’m sorry. I need you to repeat that. Can you speak up?”

“Ambulance. Now.” I try to say louder.

“Ma’am? What’s your location?”

I try to get the address to Caleb’s out, only hoping the operator can make sense of it. I know my GPS is turned on, so hopefully, she can trace it.

“Ambulance.” I manage to get out once more.

It’s a miracle I’ve managed to hang on this long, let alone get this much out. But, of course, every miracle ends at some point. As soon as I get the word, everything goes black.

***

I come to, briefly, to bright lights, loud noises, and a bunch of people standing over me.

“My husband. John Winchester. Call him.” I say, hoping it’s loud ‘nough.

One of the people standing over me says something, but I don’t hear him. Everything goes dark again as I pass out again.

***

John’s P.O.V. ~ Lincoln, Nebraska

Getting outta my truck, I answer my phone without looking at the caller ID. I don’t care who’s calling me. Not anymore. Everything’s numb. Yes, I have my sons, but for the second time in my life, I’ve lost the woman I love. The boys warned me that this was a suicide mission. There’s only one reason Meg would want me to come alone with the Colt, but I told them I didn’t care.

Sam looked at me with understanding in his eyes since he knew what I was going through from where he’d lost his girlfriend, Jess, a few months ago. Dean tried to argue with me, but I just gave him a look and he shut up. We arranged for me to bring Mega a fake version of the Colt in order to buy the boys some time so they could finish out the hunt and finally kill Yellow Eyes, once and for all.

I flip the phone open and press it to my ear as I stare up at the warehouse where I’m supposed to be meeting Meg.

“What?” I say into the phone.

“Is this John Winchester?” The man on the other end says, making me tense up.

“Yes. Who is this and how did you get this number?”

“Your wife. Your contact was in her phone.”

I furrow my brow. “My wife?”

“Yes, sir. Your wife. I’m sorry to tell you that she’s been attacked, but she’s at Bryan Medical Center West Campus.”

“Wait. What? My wife? Attacked? She’s alive?”

“Yes, sir. She is. She’s in surgery now.”

“I’ll be there soon!”

With that, I hang up my phone, feeling my heart beat faster in my chest.

“She’s alive.” I whisper to myself. “My fuckin’ badass girl. She’s alive.”

I glance around, spot a water tower on the roof of the warehouse, and after checking my pockets for the rosary beads, I head up there. I bless the water, turning it into holy water. If Meg’s a demon, she’s gonna fuckin’ pay even more for what she put my girl through. After blessing the water, I head inside the warehouse.

I make my way to one of the large, empty rooms, knowing that’s where Meg’ll be. Guess I’m early. She’s not here yet. Fuck. I just want to get this over with. Looking around, I realize I can rig something up to put the water lines on a makeshift timer. So, I do. Then, I scrawl out a note, telling Meg how sorry I am I missed her, even though it’s not true, and that I hope she rots in hell.

That part’s true.

Once I have the note written and the timer set up, I lay the Colt on the floor with the note, and then book it back to my truck. Even if this isn’t how I wanted things to go with Meg, I don’t give a shit. Even though I haven’t slept in two days, and am running off of straight caffeine, I don’t give a shit. Leigh’s alive, and I’m not gonna waste another minute not by her side.

I tear outta the warehouse parking lot, rushing to the hospital. As I drive, I call Dean.

“Dad?” He asks. “How’d it go with Meg?”

“She’s alive.” I blurt out, talking ‘bout Leigh.

“Meg? You left her alive?!”

“No! I didn’t see her. Something came up. I left her a note. She might come for y’all…”

“Left her a note? Why? What came up?”

“I got a call from the hospital. Leigh...Dean...Leigh’s alive.”

“She is?!?! What? How?”

“Yes. She is. So, I’m heading to the hospital. I’ve got to be by her side. But. I wanted to let you know. In case Meg shows up.”

“We’ll keep an eye out for her, dad. Don’t worry. You stay with Leigh. We’ll come as soon as we’re done here.”

“Thanks, son.”

Our conversation ends a few moments later. I pull into a parking spot at the hospital a few minutes later. As soon as I’m parked, I have the keys outta ignition and in my pocket as I rush outta the truck and into the hospital. I take a deep breath once I’m inside, trying to calm my nerves. The last thing I need is to appear even more outta it than I already am.

I run my fingers through my already messed up hair and then down my face, taking another deep breath in. When I’m done, I walk over to the nurse’s station.

“Excuse me, miss?” I say in what I hope is a soft, non-shaky tone.

The young nurse looks up from her computer. I give her a small smile.

“Yes, sir?” She asks, blushing a little.

“Hi. I got a call. My wife...she was attacked...they said she was here?”

“Wife? What’s her name?” Her fingers resting on her keyboard.

“Leigh Sullivan.”

She nods and quickly types my girl’s name into the computer. Whatever she sees on the screen has her eyes widening more than the Grand Canyon. My heart falls deeper into the pit of my stomach.

“What? What is it?” I ask, my fingers gripping the edge of the counter so tight that my knuckles turn white.

“Nothing, sir. I just...your wife, sir…” She starts.

I swallow deeply, expecting the worst. “Yes?”

She looks up at me. “Sir, your wife is one of the most badass women I’ve ever heard of. To survive having her throat slit and still making a 911 call? I respect her.”

I let out a deep breath. “So she’s still alive?”

“Oh! Yes. I’m sorry. She is. She’s outta surgery now too.”

“Thank fuck. Can you tell me what room? I got a badass woman to see and tell her she’s loved.”

The nurse smiles. “Of course, sir. She’s in room 214.”

“Thank you.”

I give her another smile and then head to room 214. Standing in front of the door, I urge myself to try and calm down. The last thing Leigh needs is to see me panicking. Slowly, I open the door and step inside. As my eyes adjust to the darkness of the room, I take everything in. The Hunter in me looks for anything unusual.

Seeing nothing outta the ordinary, the normal part of me focuses on the figure lying in the hospital bed. My heart breaks as my feet shuffle forward. Leigh’s lying there, hooked up to a bunch of different machines with a thick band of gauze ‘round her neck. Aside from that, she looks like she’s peaceful, almost as if she’s just sleeping.

I slump down in the chair next to her side, and immediately take her small hand in both of my much larger ones. Bringing it to my lips, I kiss her knuckles, not paying attention to the tears rolling down my cheeks. It’s been years since I’ve cried. I haven’t allowed myself that luxury. But now...I can’t stop it.

I don’t want to. I thought I’d lost Leigh, but my girl...she’s a fuckin’ fighter. I hold her hand tightly, not wanting to let go.

“Leigh? Baby, I’m here.” I tell her, my voice shaky and full of emotions. “Wake up for me? I wanna see those beautiful eyes, that stunning smile, and hear you tell me that I’m a fuckin’ dumbass. So, wake up? For me? Please?”

When she doesn’t respond, I place another kiss to her knuckles. I didn’t really expect her to wake up. Not right now at least. She’s been through hell. She needs her rest. Hell, I need my own rest too, and I end up falling asleep in an uncomfortable hospital chair, Leigh’s hand in mine, and my head by her hip.

***

Over the next week, I stay by Leigh’s side. The boys eventually show up a couple of days later, looking just as exhausted as I do. Dean tells me that he killed Meg, says it was payback for what she’d done to Leigh. Sam stays by Leigh’s side, holding her other hand. Four days after the attack, Dean looks at me.

“Dad?” He starts.

I look up at him. “Hmmm?”

“You should go shower, get something to eat, get some actual sleep.”

“I’m not leaving her, Dean.”

“I know, Dad. But, you need to take care of yourself. You haven’t really been sleeping, and I know for a fact that you haven’t taken a shower in nearly a week. You’re starting to stink. We both know that Leigh wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

I sigh. “I’ll take a shower in the bathroom there.” I point to the bathroom attached to Leigh’s hospital room. “Can you go get my bag from my truck? The one with the clothes, not the guns.”

Dean nods. “I’ll do that. And I’ll run out and get some food too, while you shower. Sammy can stay with Leigh.”

I run a hand over my face, nodding. “Fine. But I won’t take a long shower. I don’t...I just gotta be here when she wakes up.”

Both of my boys nod in understanding. Dean leaves the room while I stand and look at Sam.

“I won’t leave her side, Dad. Go shower. You stink worse than that hunt we were on when all the showers in the town stopped working ‘cause of the monster.” He says.

Unable to stop the small, soft chuckle that escapes my lips at his words, I nod. I lay a hand on his shoulder, a silent gesture of comfort before I lean down and place a soft kiss on Leigh’s forehead.

“I’ll be right back, baby. Your old man’s gotta go get cleaned up so you don’t ditch his ass when you wake up.” I whisper, half jokingly.

She doesn’t respond, but I don’t let it crush my hopes. Not any more than they’ve already been crushed. I make my way to the bathroom, and turn the shower on. While I’m in there, Dean cracks the door.

“Dad? I’m putting your bag by the door here.” He says.

“Thanks, son.” I call out as I wash my hair and beard.

He just let out a grunt in response and the door shuts once again. Dean’s always been more of the silent type unless he’s being a smart ass, but when it comes to him hurting, he’s always been more silent instead of letting his emotions completely show. After I’m as cleaned up as I can be in a hospital shower, I step out, dry off, and tug on a pair of semi-clean jeans, an old tee, and one of my plaid button-up shirts that Leigh loves the most.

I open the bathroom door and glance toward the bed. I see beautiful hazel eyes staring back at me.

“Leigh.” I rush over to her side.

I lean down and gently capture her lips with mine. After a few seconds, I pull away and look into her eyes.

“I love you, Leigh.” I whisper.

She smiles slightly with droopy eyes. Even when she’s like this, she’s so fuckin’ beautiful.

“You don’t have to say anything but I wanted you to know.” I smile widely. “I’ll say it forever if you’ll let me. Get some more sleep. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

I kiss her forehead as her eyes close. Yep. I’m definitely proposing soon.

#His Salvation #John Winchester One-Shot #John Winchester Fanfic #John Winchester #Supernatural One-Shot #Supernatural Fanfic #SPN One-Shot #SPN Fanfic #Supernatural S1 E21 #SPN S1 E21 #Supernatural 1x21 #SPN 1x21 #Jeffrey Dean Morgan One-Shot #Jeffrey Dean Morgan Fanfic #JDM One-Shot #JDM Fanfic #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #JDM

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whitewitchdani · 4 years

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Laters, Baby: Chapter 12

Read Chapter 11 Here

Word Count: 1780

Pairing: Winchester!Sister x Reader

Warnings: angst, language, description of injury, mention of a serial killer

A/N: Sorry I’ve been MIA y’all. I had to go back to work and it sucked. lol. Here’s chapter 12! Let me know what you think and if you’d like to be tagged. :)

Laters, Baby Masterlist

“Simple salt and burn my ass. Did Bobby do any research on this house before he gave us this case?” You complained as you sat at the motel table doing research while Dean cleaned his gun on the bed and Sam had just finished showering.

“Why, what’s up?” asked Sam as he approached you from behind drying his hair.

“This house was the site of a serial killing. A victim of the BTK killer was killed here, oh my god.”

“No way. Really?” Sam asked as he looked at the laptop over your shoulder.

“BTK? What the hell is that?” asked Dean as he slid a magazine into place.

“Seriously Dean? He’s one of the most famous serial killers in history; he killed at least 10 people. I learned about him in one of my classes at Stanford. BTK stands for bind, torture, kill. Guy still gives me the skeeves,” you shuddered.

“Shit really? And this is a victims house?” Dean asked as he walked toward the motel table.

“Yeah checks out. And the way the people have been being attacked lines up with the way the girl was attacked and killed,” answered Sam.

“So is it the victim or BTK?” Dean asked as he walked around the table and sat down, leaning back to reach the fridge and grab a round of beers for everyone.

“Well Rader, BTK, died in prison. So there’s no reason for him to be tied to that house. I’d say it’s definitely our girl,” you replied as you accepted the beer from Dean.

“This is going to be an interesting case,” Sam said with a sigh as he took the beer from Dean and sat down. “Haven’t had a good ghost hunt in a while.”

“It says here she’s buried in the town cemetery. So, Dean, you wanna go dig her up while Sam and I go to the house?” you asked as you shut the laptop.

“Why do I always get the dirty jobs?”

“You lied to Sam and me for over 25 years; I don’t want to hear you complain about anything I ask you to do for a very, very long time,” you batted your eyes at your eldest brother.

He nodded his head at you, “Touché, kid. Touché.”

------------ Later at the house, you and Sam made sure the place was empty. The previous occupants had fled after the last attack, leaving the home vacant. It was silent in the small house, until the ring of Sam’s phone caused both of you to jump.

Sam grabbed it and looked at the caller ID, “It’s Dean.” Flipping it open, he put it on speaker and answered. “Hey Dean, did you find the grave?”

You both heard heavy breathing on the other end of the line, “I’m getting too old for this shit.”

“You’re 30, Dean,” Sam rolled his eyes, “Did you burn the bones?”

“Yes I burned the bones,” he replied out of breath. “I just finished filling in the grave.”

“Alright, Sam and I will sweep the house one last time so just get back here.”

“Super.” Dean rasped out before he hung up.

Sam flipped the phone closed and turned to face you, “Well, you take upstairs and I’ll take downstairs?”

“Meet back at the front door and then we can get the hell out of here in time to hit the bar.”

Sam rolled his eyes with a smile as you ran up the stairs. You looked through the bedrooms and, finding nothing, began to trudge back down the stairs. As you hit the second step on the staircase, you felt two hands in the small of your back and before you could react, they gave you a hard shove. With a scream, you tumbled down the stairs and landed at the bottom with a thump.

Sam came scrambling around the corner to the base of the stairs to see you groaning at the bottom. “Y/N!” He rushed to your side and breathed a sigh of relief to see you were still conscious. “Are you alright?”

“Just peachy, Sam. Not like I just fell down a damn flight of stairs or anything.” You rolled your eyes at your twin. Attempting to stand, you hissed and grimaced as you put weight on your right hand, “Ah! Son of a bitch! Goddammit I think I broke my wrist.”

Your brother grabbed your wrist to examine it and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the front door slamming open. You both turned expecting another ghostly encounter, only to see your older brother strut in waving his gun around.

Dean walked in and cleared the room before looking at his siblings on the floor, “I heard Y/N scream, what happened?”

Sam helped you stand as you answered, “Well, either our girl’s tied here some other way, or there’s something else in this house. Something pushed me down those stairs and now my goddamn wrist is broken.”

“I burned those bones, there’s no way that ghost is still here.”

“Then what else could be here?” Sam crossed his arms in frustration.

“Well I didn’t throw myself down the stairs. Something is here,” you groaned as you held your wrist and leaned on Sam to stay upright.

“Good observation, Winchester.”

All three of you turned to follow a British accent towards the staircase finding a tall, blonde man standing in the middle of them. As your eyes met his, he flashed his blue eyes onyx causing every Winchester in the room to let out a collective sigh.

“Seriously? I’m gonna kill Bobby. Simple salt and burn my ass,” you repeated your sentiment from earlier in the evening.

“Don’t blame your surly hunter friend, Winchester. Before I arrived it WAS just the spirit here.” The demon began to descend the stairs as he spoke, “No I’m here for a different reason all together.”

“What could you possibly want?” you yelled.

“You, Miss Winchester. You see, our Father has issued a bounty on you. Any demon that brings you back to him alive will be rewarded greatly, and I intend to be that demon.” His thin lips curled into a sickly smile.

“Like hell.” Dean fired the shotgun into the demon’s chest, causing him to fly backwards. “Time to go.” He grabbed your good wrist and pulled you through the front door, Sam pulling up the rear.

Suddenly, Sam got thrown by a force into the lawn.

“Sam!” you yelled. You and Dean turned to look back and saw the demon in the doorway.

Your brother put an arm protectively in front of you, “You aren’t taking her to Lucifer. Over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged.” The demon smiled, “Just give me the girl and no one gets hurt. For once no one gives a rat’s ass about the infamous Winchester brothers, just their whore sister who miraculously is the soulmate to the devil.”

“Hey!” You yelled at him. “Just because you’re a demon doesn’t give you license to be a dick.”

“No one talks to my sister like that.” Dean lifted the shotgun once more but with a wave of his hand, the demon flicked it out of his hands. With another wave, Dean was thrown away from you.

“Dean!” He and Sam were groaning in a heap on the lawn, leaving you alone with the demon on the sidewalk. You turned your attention to him, “I’m not going with you.”

“My dear, I don’t think you’ll have a choice. See, I’m a demon and you’re an injured, female hunter. Not exactly much of a fight,” he smirked. In a flash, he backhanded you across the face.

Your face turned to the side with the force. You looked at him wide eyed as you wiped the blood from the corner of your mouth, realizing he had a bit of a point. But you’d be damned if you went down without a fight. Bringing your leg up behind you, you grabbed Ruby’s demon knife out of your boot. You leaned forward and slashed, making contact with his arm.

“AH! You bitch! You’re lucky Lucifer wants you or I’d kill you right here.”

“Not if I kill you first you black eyed bastard.”

Fighting with your non-dominant hand was difficult, but you held your own. The demon got a few licks in, but he was no match for the knife. Dean yelled from the lawn, causing the demon to look away from you just long enough to make your move. With one swing, you brought your left hand around and plunged the demon knife into his chest, causing him to spark orange inside his vessel as he died.

The vessel collapsed on the ground as your brothers rose from it, making their way over to you. You bent over and pulled the knife from the man’s chest, the blade still smoking.

Sam got to you first, “You alright?” He grabbed your face to check the split lip and saw a bruise forming on your cheek.

“I’m fine Sam. I just need Bobby to set this stupid thing and I’ll be good as new.”

“Friggin’ demons man.” Dean growled as he made his way to the driver’s side of the Impala.

“My sentiments exactly. But Dean, Lucifer issued a bounty for me. Attacks like this are only going to get worse,” you slid into the backseat with your twin, him tending to your injuries.

“I know, kid. We’ll figure something out.”

Dean threw the car into drive and headed back to Sioux Falls. With a yelp from you, Sam set your wrist and wrapped it in a bandage from the first aid kit. You gave him a look of contempt as he did so since you A. weren’t expecting it and B. expected Bobby to do it when you got back.

“You better not have fucked that up, or I’ll re-break it on your jaw,” you smirked at your brother.

“Ha-Ha. You know it’s right; I wanted to get it set before it started to heal wrong.” He sighed, “What are you thinking Y/N/N? I can see your wheels turning.”

You sighed in return, “That I should just go to Lucifer like I planned. You and Dean are gonna get hurt soon and I don’t wanna risk it.” You replied to him lowly so Dean wouldn’t hear; he was pissed enough.

“You know that isn’t an option.”

“I know but-”

The screech of the impact of metal on metal interrupted you as another vehicle rammed into the passenger side of the Impala. The car flipped twice before landing right-side up on the side of the road, leaving all of the Winchester’s inside unconscious.

Read Chapter 13 Here

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@lovesamwinchester @tomhiddleston-is-mischief @ditu-m9 @stuckinsaudi1 @sugar-nico @potato-extra-pot @humbledarkness @the-fiery-ghost @jo-wayward @streetghostfighter07 @millieccino @some-local-dumbass

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