#Why did i just started unrelatedly samgirling in the tags.

[sammygender]

there’s also the obvious dimension that well. dean’s whole life is built around this tiny family unit. him and john and sammy. even if it ruins him, even if it’s toxic and abusive and codependent, it’s who he is. it’s who all of them are!! then sammy leaves. sam leaving is selfish! not in a bad way, in a way where it’s an intensely brave act of self-preservation that must’ve required so much strength to pull off! but that idea of selfish as at all ever being good….... well. dean cant even comprehend that. not when he’s so thoroughly invested in this decades-long act of Dean Winchester, big brother and soldier son and surrogate wife. not when he feels like nothing and has no real sense of self at all. how dare sam be selfish etc etc is basically asking How dare sam even have/try to take ownership over his own identity and his life since when was that a thing that happened…….

#Good news! Soon he won’t! #spn #dean winchester #meta #spn meta #oliver talks #Ironically dean is great at being selfish. he’s incredibly selfish a lot of the time in canon in his behavior towards sam #at the start of the show sam has an identity a sense of himself he’s sure in a way that he loses and it’s so admirable #the one thing sam has is he’s made his choices. he went to stanford he left john&dean and he does techncially choose to rejoin dean hunting #he refuses to be sent on their fathers wild goose chases and he refuses to pretend their father was any good #he’s stubborn and unyielding and fervently himself #and then the rest of the show proceeds to break him down into tiny pieces #to rip away the sense of agency he must’ve worked so so so hard to ever achieve #choices are so important to sam. and over the course of the show he has them taken away from him in every possible context by every possible #person. #Why did i just started unrelatedly samgirling in the tags. #anyway. dean winchester sense of self my god. maybe he should journal #Or do dbt. i think dbt would like. fix a lot of spn. #he is sooooooooo bpd. cmon. think about the criteria