#the last line made me tear up i won't lie

[nothingunrealistic]

New York City has been the backdrop for many TV series over the years, from “Law & Order” to “Sex and the City” to “Succession.” But the Showtime series “Billions,” which ends on Sunday after seven seasons, may have been the New Yorkiest of them all. It’s clear from the opening credits, which feature an eagle-eye’s view of Lower Manhattan — but no actors — that New York City is not merely a location but the star. The showrunners, Brian Koppelman and David Levien, planned it that way. “The city plays a central role on the show,” said Mr. Levien. “We always felt like being here and knowing the city was like our secret weapon.” Mr. Koppelman and Mr. Levien were both born on Long Island but eventually moved to New York City. (“Nothing makes you more desperate to be in Manhattan than growing up on Long Island,” Mr. Koppelman said.) The two first worked together on the screenplay for the 1997 film “Rounders,” set in the underground poker scene in New York, and they went on to collaborate on “Knockaround Guys,” “Runaway Jury,” “Solitary Man” and “Ocean’s Thirteen.” But “Billions” was their love letter to New York City. New York has been integral to the plot, which follows the endless battle between hedge fund billionaires (Bobby “Axe” Axelrod, played by Damian Lewis, and in later seasons, Mike Prince, played by Corey Stoll) and the U.S. attorney, Chuck Rhoades Jr. (played by Paul Giamatti).

The characters have visited hundreds of locations in the city, from the Thurgood Marshall United States Court House on Centre Street in Lower Manhattan to Morningside Castle in Morningside Heights and the Brooklyn Heights Promenade. Scenes have been filmed at MetLife Stadium in the Meadowlands, Barclays Center in Brooklyn, and Yonkers Raceway. “There was almost nowhere that we couldn’t shoot, that we wanted to,” Mr. Levien said. The neighborhoods where the “Billions” characters live also serve as shorthand for their personalities. Chuck’s father, Chuck Rhoades Sr., is an old school, blue-blood businessman, so naturally he lives on the wealthiest stretch of Fifth Avenue in Manhattan, not far from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Chuck Jr., whose positions as the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of New York (and New York attorney general) involve prosecuting financial crimes, lives in a Brooklyn brownstone (the exterior shots are of 49 Eighth Avenue, in Park Slope). “Chuck Sr. would not experiment with another neighborhood just because he could, financially,” said Mr. Koppelman. “He’s not going to go try a loft in TriBeCa.” And it makes sense that Chuck Jr. lives on an understated (but gorgeous) block outside Manhattan: “Chuck would have been a little bit rebellious to his dad’s ways,” Mr. Koppelman said. Brooklyn? “Senior thinks it’s like the frontier, basically.” Axe, the character played by Damian Lewis, is the CEO of Axe Capital, a multibillion-dollar hedge fund. His Manhattan home is an airy, light-filled penthouse, high above the city. “It’s this incredible glass box built on top of this building downtown in TriBeCa,” said Mr. Levien. “Because, you know, he is somebody that would go try some neighborhood, live where he wants, open himself up to new experiences.” The location was an actual apartment where the show filmed for a couple of years — and it impressed even the showrunners. “If you’re a New Yorker, it’s fascinating to walk through what a $60 million apartment is,” Mr. Koppelman said.

As die-hard denizens of New York City, the characters on “Billions” eat at all the best and most famous restaurants. There are scenes set inside upscale white-tablecloth rooms at expensive eateries like Keens Steakhouse, Babbo, Craft, Ai Fiori, Wolfgang’s Steakhouse, Michael’s, The Pool and Marea. But the characters also visit more humble spots: Wo Hop, Gray’s Papaya, Joe’s Pizza, Old Town Bar, Costello’s Claddagh Inn. There are new favorites (Una Pizza Napoletana) as well as New York classics, like Peter Luger’s, Cibao, Second Avenue Deli and Barney Greengrass. Mr. Koppelman said that for New Yorkers, food information is a valuable currency. “Finding the best bao is as important as finding the best four-star flambé or something,” he laughed. “The show was absolutely trying to show you the real thing over and over again each time. Where’s the best hot dog, where’s the best burger?” New York City chefs — including Daniel Boulud, David Chang, Kwame Onwuachi, Tom Colicchio, Alex Guarnaschelli — have made cameo appearances in “Billions,” weaving the show intricately into the food scene. (The show featured so many restaurants that someone wrote a book detailing the locations.) “Because we’re New Yorkers and we care about New York, we care about these restaurants, we care about these people, we want to find a way to showcase what they love about their place and what they do,” said Mr. Koppelman. (And at some restaurants, it’s not just the food that the characters are into: In the first episode of Season 4, Chuck Jr. and the police commissioner visit Sparks Steakhouse and re-enact the 1985 murder of Paul Castellano, the reputed boss of the Gambino crime family — a hit that an F.B.I. investigator said was arranged by John Gotti.) In addition to celebrated places, the show features the occasional lesser-known gem — like Chartwell, “the world’s Only Winston Churchill bookstore.” When he needs some quick cash, Chuck Jr. sells his collection of Winston Churchill books. Being featured on a television show can be a boost for business and for a shop owner’s self-esteem. “Most places that we got feedback from that were featured in the show were extremely happy to be associated and to be recognized sort of like nationally and internationally,” said Mr. Levien.

Watching movies set in New York when they were younger inspired both of the showrunners. The Coney Island scenes in “Warriors” and the dinner scene in “The Godfather,” they said, were especially memorable. “The walking in the back door at the Copa in ‘Goodfellas’ is an all-time classic,” Mr. Levien said. Mr. Koppelman was in awe of the Sal’s Pizza scenes in “Do the Right Thing.” “I’ll never forget the extra cheese argument in that movie. It reveals so much about character,” he said. “It’s a very important thing in my cinematic journey as a young person wanting to do this — we thought over and over and over and over and over again about Sal’s Pizza.” There was only one downside of filming in New York, Mr. Levien said: “Sirens and car horns. Ruining takes. When these actors are locked in concentrating on some serious emotional monologue or moment — and you know, it’s like, ‘Hold for the police helicopter. Hold for the fire truck.’” For their next show, Mr. Levien and Mr. Koppelman may head to Florida. “We’re certainly really animated by the idea of making a show set in Miami,” Mr. Koppelman said. Still, Mr. Levien said filming in New York was “such a privilege.” Mr. Koppelman put it this way: “I do think, as is often the case for a Long Island-born New Yorker, who has been a New Yorker for 35 years, Billy Joel put it best: I’ve loved these days.”

#the last line made me tear up i won't lie #billions #brian koppelman #david levien #set posting #chuck rhoades #chuck rhoades senior #bobby axelrod #must admit i'm really enjoying the mental images of sirens and car horns interrupting takes

[novasdarling]

Hii🌹can i ask "It’s so dangerous out there. Can’t you see that?"

with yandere Chrollo please? Thanks🌹

HEHEHEHE this motherfucker would. He's delusional in the scheme of him being like "Yeah my darling is better than me than anywhere else." but also he knows it's just a lie he makes so he doesn't feel too ad when you cry about being with him

Dangerous Out There

TW: Kidnapping, Yandere Behaviour, Mentions of death, Mentions of punishment

The walls were plain and cold. Made of old cement bricks, leaving little room for any warmth or comfort. Any feelings sparking joy or tenderness were missing. Cold, bland, cruel. This jail cell represented the jailkeeper well. A void of happiness and delight was exactly what Chrollo was. Just this blackhole that took and took, destroying everything it touched and devoured.

However, no amount of sadness or begging changed his mind. Nothing let him declaw himself from you. No matter how much you begged these last few weeks, he refused to let go. Rather it seemed like your tears and pleas just made him dig deeper. Made him pull you closer to him, made him add more locks to the doors and windows. Like the more you begged and craved for freedom, the more he held onto you. The more he denied it. The more he felt like he needed to keep you locked away, keep you hidden. But you couldn't help the hope that pooled inside you. Hoping your begging would chip away at him. Make any sort of difference, cause him to feel any kind of remorse and let you go. A hope you would always hold onto.

Chrollo had made his way into the living room. Standing in the doorway, observing from behind as you watched one of the few movies he had provided when he first took you. You could recite it line by line.

"I know you're there."

"Your senses are getting better. Before you wouldn't have noticed me until you could see me."

Chrollo made his way forward, kneeling in front of you. Placing himself between your legs. It made your skin itch. You didn't give him an answer, even as he waited there. Starring up at you. You ignored him. Starring at the dumb movie in front of you. His hands squeezed your thighs.

"Most people say thank you after a compliment."

"Most people don't kidnap."

Chrollo laughed. Finding your response humorous. He always found your rebuttal funny and pleasant. Making it clear he enjoyed the bit of resistance you had. The wit that came with it. Your snappy remarks. It was fun for him, as long as you never went too far.

"Touché." Chrollo rubbed his knuckles over your cheek.

"Don't touch me."

Flinching away, you pushed him. Trying to create some distance from him. Trying to get the man you hated as far away as possible. He tried again, lifting his knuckles up to caress you, but you moved again. Denying him what he wanted twice.

"Enough."

He grabbed your arms. Trying to keep you still. Keeping himself between your legs and you caged.

"Let me go."

Chrollo held on. Dismissing your words as he wrestled you still.

"I want to go home."

Tears were forming in your eyes. You hated this, hated this man. Despised everything about all of this. How the hell did a charming stranger you bumped into one day turn into the man who was holding you captive? A man that killed and hurt people to get you. A man who had no boundaries.

"Let me go. I just want to go back. P-please. I won't tell anyone. I-I promise. I want to-"

"Stop it. Stop it now."

"Go to hell."

You lashed and kicked at him. Trying to get him away. Trying to make him let go. To understand just how much you hated him. How much you wanted him dead. That this wasn't home. That he wasn't what you wanted.

"I said stop it. Listen to me." Chrollo was raising his voice at you. Not yelling, but still enough to try to demand you listen to him. "Listen to me, just listen sweetheart." One hand now held both of your arms as the other made its way to hold your face still. Forcing you to look at him. "I'm trying to help you, my dear. Trying to keep you safe. It’s so dangerous out there. Can’t you see that? Can't you see understand?"

He sounded angry yet, worried. It was a lesson he was trying to push into your mind. Trying to teach you with him was better than elsewhere. Yet, even as his words sounded sincere. You couldn't help, but laugh at him. Laugh at his words. Dangerous? The danger out there? He was fucking deranged. Worse than you thought.

"Whatever is out there, sure as hell can't be worse than being here with you."

Leaning in, close to his face so he could hear your words. Understand what you were saying. Understanding you meant it. That you would rather be out there with whatever he was worried about than with the monster that was pretending to be your saviour.

The look on Chrollo's face had changed. Like he was hurt and angry. Disappointed by your words. You knew that look, you had hurt his little fantasy. Ruined the image of him being your little hero. The look that meant your behaviour needed to be "corrected". That your wit and back talk had crossed the line.

"Seems like you need some reminding why you're here."

"What, another couple of days locked in the closet? I'll take that if it means being away from you." You spat in his face with the last sentence. Showing him you were genuine.

"See, I was thinking something different." Chrollo grabbed your upper arm. Pulling you up and making you follow him. "If you think I'm such a monster, perhaps I should leave you alone with a colleague of mine. Someone who doesn't care about your safety. Someone who doesn't love you like I do. Remember Feitan?"

You had made the worse mistake since he had taken you. Not only had you been resistant to him, but you had made him the enemy. Not just in the scheme of kidnapping, but in the idea of being with him. You told him how you saw him. Now he was going to correct it. Make you see what is worse than him when there is no love to give.

#yandere #yandere hxh #yandere hunter x hunter #yandere chrollo #yandere chrollo lucilfer #yandere chrollo x reader #yandere hxh x reader #yandere hunter x hunter x reader #yandere x reader #hxh #hunter x hunter #chrollo hunter x hunter #chrollo hxh #chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #chrollo x reader #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter x reader #yandere anime #nova writes

[your-girl-mj]

The Truth prt 2.1 [42!Miles Morales x Spiderwoman!reader]

summary: ending chosen: you told him the truth.

warning: few curses(?)

note: written in 3rd point of view, she/her for reader, he/him for miles.

created: july 26, 2023

published: july 27, 2023.

main story | other ending.

— Ending chosen:

tell him the truth

lie for his safety

"¡ay bendito!" he shouted, his hands almost pulling his braids out as he ran his hand on his head. "enough with your bullshit excuses! if it's not true, then what is the truth? tell me." he demanded, infuriated.

"why are you being so difficult?!" [name]'s legs finally gave up, squating down on the floor. physically and mentally exhausted. her hands are pressed on her ears as tears start to flood her lids, unable to control it as she is tired from everything. everything is too much for her right now. too much screaming.

miles sighed, rubbing his nape and looking down at his love. he matched her current height, sitting down in front, he opened his arms. as much as his anger is unbearable, his love for her is much more.

slowly but surely, she crawled her way to him and hugged him dearly. "I would never.." she continued to cry, "i love you... and only you." she sobbed, burying her head in his neck.

"i know." he answered, caressing her shoulder with a sad smile. he regrets what he said. he hates it. he hates every single thing he says, but what can he do? his anxiety is kicking in.

"then why would you say that?!" her voice is wobbly, but the anger is present. she's glaring hard at him. she pulled away from him, but he's still close by.

"because i know when you lie." he said firmly, his head soon drop as he sighed for the nth time for the last hour. "[name], we've been friends for six years and been dating for two years. i know you like the back of my hand."

"if you know me, then you'll know I'll never cheat." the girl's lips are formed into a straight line as her brows frown. the corner of her eyes, as well as nose, are flushed with red from crying.

"i know.. lo sé, mi vida. lo siento.. lo siento." enveloping both of her hands in his, he kissed her knuckles, one by one. "i was losing my mind at that time... please." [i know, my life. I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.]

she enjoyed every single one of his little peaks, "miles... i can't really tell you.."

his palm made contact with her cheek, thumb sweetly catching the liquid droplets. "we tell each other everything, why is this any different?"

her lips are trembling as she tries to hold a sob. "miles..." shaking her head no, she doesn't want to risk it. she loves him too much.

"cariño, por favor.." he kissed her. they both close their eyes in the process. [name] let out a little cry in his mouth before they pulled away. "you know you can tell me anything." [darling, please..]

"i'm just... so scared." she whispered, more tears to fall as the images of miles in her arms because she told him. she knows he's willing to sacrifice everything for her, and she knows he's willing to risk his life for her. just like she does for him every single day. "i can't lose you..."

"no me perderás, hermosa." he kisses her temple before pulling her into an embrace. his mind can't find any situation that will make you break up with him. "i won't let you go, i love you too much." [you won't lose me, beautiful.]

frustrated sigh left her lips as she shook her head. "you don't understand.." She clenched his shirt, his shoulder soaked with her tears from earlier. her face is now dry, as she started to get back to her senses bit by bit. she hates how she can't explain the whole thing.

"then let me understand." he kisses her forehead, holding her close. the guy was met with silence, clicking his tongue, and he rested his head on hers. "amor, sabes que odio pelear contigo... ¿cuál es el propósito de estar juntos cuando no tenemos confianza? ¿eh?" his accent is always calming to you, especially when he talks like this, caressing your shoulder as he speaks. [love, you know I hate fighting with you... what's the point of being together when we don't have trust? hm?]

[name] looked at him with uncertainties, she's hesitating. she's hesitating too much, and he can see it. "take your time. te amo, mamí." he kissed her again. [i love you, mami]

she couldn't help but melt at the old nickname, "yo tambien te amo, papí." miles smiled. he loves that nickname. [i love you too, papi]

it has been a little too over 3 minutes, that miles thought she'll never confess to him about the truth. before she opened her mouth, but words were left on her throat. [name] felt like a fool. she's been gathering up her courage, but she can't utter two simple words. she mouthed one, yet mute. "i'm.."

"you're...?" miles encouraged. she is still having a hard time confessing, and she hates how stupid she looks. "oh shit, don't tell me you're the prowler?" he teased, fully knowing [name] knows he and his unlce aaron are the prowler.

she lightly hit him, scoffing, "it's quite the opposite, actually." she beamed at him, the pressure on telling him is suddenly liften up.

"oh fuck, you're kingpin?!" he made a fake shock expression, a little too exaggerated in her opinion. it kinda reminds her how he was before his dad died.

"shut up," she nudged him, and the two fell into a fit of small laughs. the tension is lifting up by the second they spend together. she took a sharp exhale befire uttering: "i'm spiderwoman." her gaze was quick for his reaction.

but he stared at her blankly, "did mom put you up to this comic-con thing?" he rubbed his face. it's a little too early for something like this.

"what? no, miles—" [name] swiftly took of her (miles') jacket, revealing him fully her suit underneath. but he already stood up, making his way to the kitchen with his girl on his tail. "— look!" gesturing her suit.

"i'm just gonna get us some water, be right back." she rolled her eyes at his comment. he wanted the truth, she gave him the truth, but the asshole is not believing her. she frustrated, mad even. she finally gathers up the courage to tell him, and he won't even believe her.

she shoot a web on his back with a tiny pwip noise, then harshly pulled him back to her, "oh motherf—" he almost cursed at the sudden move, and his chest collided with hers, though his impact did her not damage when almost his full weight came crashing towards her.

startled by the sticky web, "what the—?!" another pwip was heard, [name] shoot a web to the remote that was near them, and it retrieved it to her.

she then toss it near a wall behind him and shot it with a flick of a wrist. the remote is stuck on the wall with her webs, helping it stick. "holy shit—" miles exclaimed again as he witnessed it, turning around to face his girl but met with clothes on the floor.

miles swiftly looked around and met with his girl's face upside down. "do you believe me now?!" she asked, with a frown, her arms crossed over her chest. she's wearing her suit with her mask off, which explains the clothes on the floor.

he looked up, seeing her standing on the ceiling. she's even tapping her feet, impatient with his answer. her frown stared to turn into a worried one, "what? you're not gonna say anything?" her hair sway in the air, with every strand being pulled by gravity.

she's spiderwoman, alright.

"metal." he utter as he fully take her in, a small beam capture her lips. miles snort a laugh out, mirroring her smile. "does anyone else know about... you being a weirdo?" a tease is present, his smile turned into a smirk when she rolled her eyes.

"you're mean, mr. prowler." [name] poked his forehead repeatedly and only stopped when he sway her hand away. "no one knows. except you, i guess." a cocky grin tug his lips, making her scowl, "oh god—"

"i feel a bit special right now. don't take it away." he peaked her forehead. his cocky attitude is still intact.

"you only know because you technically forced me," [name] shrugged, circling his figure. her feet still stick on the ceiling. "you didn't expect it, huh?"

"i didn't," he confirmed, nodding as he followed her face by spinning around as he spoke. "i'm - i'm impressed. my girl is the heroine of the city." he proudly announced in the quiet apartment. his face soon turned into a gentle frown, "you risk your life every day..."

spiderwoman then sighed, turning away from him, her steps came halt. "miles, no matter what you say, i'm not gonna stop being the -"

"friendly neighbourhood, spiderwoman." he finished for her, "i know, mamí." with a finger, he turned her head to face him, gently caressing her cheek in process. "i'm just worried for you."

"i'll be fine," smiling comfortably, "you know me, i always get up no matter what.." she captured his lips with tip toes, but shooting a web on the ceiling to stable herself. the iconic spider kiss. the two lovers catch their breaths once pulled away, [name] smirked, "i've always wanted to do that."

miles chuckled and shook his head, his braid sway in the motion. "gotta say, mamí, i know why hobo is after my girl."

[name] mask her wince with a giggle, shaking her head. she reached a hand to caress his cheek, and she beamed at the sight of him snuggling for her warmth. "sorry to ruin it, but hobie knew before you." she pursed her lips, biting her the inside of her cheeks as his soft stare formed to shock before it became a frown.

"you little shit," the girl couldn't stop the laugh from coming, when her boyfriend begun to walk away,

"mi corazón~!" she called in a teasing tone, jumping down with a thud she chased after him as he made his way to the kitchen for water. she attacked his back with an embrace, she stuck her feet on the ground, preventing him from moving anymore away from her. "te amo, papí." [my heart~!] [i love you, papi]

miles let out and exaggerated sigh, he peaked behind him, seeing his girlfriend who was smiling innocently at him. "you have destroyed my trust. you may let go of me, peasant."

"milessss!" she let him drag her on the floor. he's being dramatic, and he knows it. he's just being petty. "he's from work, of course he knows!" [name] quickly explained, her hold is still not losing one bit. "he's another spider!"

he took a sharp turn to her way, with a confuse expression, "how many spider-people are there?" the girl only smirks, knowing this is gonna be a looooong morning.

#miles morales x y/n #miles morales x you #miles morales #miles morales x reader #earth 42 miles morales x reader #spiderman #across the spiderverse

[klutzyroses]

IkeVamp HCs: Virgin S/O

How do they react when they find out their s/o is a virgin during their first time and was embarrassed to say anything?

Suitors: Napoleon, Arthur, Comte, Charles

Warnings: NSFW, loss of virginity, Minors DNI

He froze when Y/N let it slip that she had never been with a man before. And she decided to tell him this now?

Napoleon

He hovered over her for a second, his eyes watching her nervous orbs twinkling with trepidation and...appeared a little glassy.

He had noticed she seemed hesitant to take off her clothes and he had assumed it was because she was nervous that it was her first time with him as his lover.

Not her first time at all.

He reached down and held her face in his hands, looking into her eyes with a stern look. He wasn't mad, or disappointed, he was just... concerned.

"Nunuche...why didn't you say anything?"

"I...I just...It's embarrassing and I don't know what to do and...I.."

His heart panged a little when he saw the mist in her eyes thicken with shame.

He found it worrisome that she would lie about this, luckily, they had only just gotten through foreplay when she made her accidental confession.

He would've felt terrible if he had only found out after it was all said and done.

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Y/N. Nothing at all."

He pressed his forehead to hers, sighing.

"Geez, don't lie to me about this kind of thing. I could've hurt you, nunuche."

He won't say it, but he feels a bit proud, to be her first and her last, which is why he will be sure to be gentle with her and make it special, so that he can show her just how much she means to him.

Arthur

Um...do we remember what Arthur said in his first chapter? Because Y/N most certainly did.

Which was why when Arthur had her under him, his dexterous fingers sliding under her panties to feel her wetness as he slipped the first in slowly, he paused when he felt something...unusual.

Y/N watched the slight confusion swimming through the sapphire eyes before they widened with the realization that he had just made contact with her fully in tact hymen.

"Y/N...?"

"I...Arthur...um..."

She stuttered and bit her lip, trying to come up with an excuse. She flinched when he levelled her with a slightly hurt look that caused her to tear up.

"You could've told me, you know?"

"B...But you said...you preferred..."

Now it was Arthur's turn to flinch. Yes, he remembered what he had said the first night they met. There were so many things he did wrong that night and it seems one of the things he said stuck with his beloved long after the fact.

"I thought if you knew, you wouldn't want to...I mean."

"Oh Y/N...Darling, no..."

The amount of kisses and cuddling she received contained every ounce of regret for putting those ideas in her pretty head.

"I'm sorry luv. Let me make it up to you. "

He slides his fingers through hers as he wipes away a stray tear.

"It'll hurt at first, but I promise, this will be an experience you won't forget in a long, long time."

And he most definitely made sure of that. Once the pain dissipated, Y/N is almost drowned in more ecstasy than she knew what to do with.

Comte

The master of the mansion had his suspicions but they weren't confirmed until he had asked her directly just as he started unlacing her dress for her.

He knows it's not... uncommon for people to lie about these things, and while it was easier for men to get away with it but women...

Indeed, it'd be quite difficult to lie successfully about her virginity.

Which is why he asked in the first place, running a finger down the line of her back, tickling her smooth skin.

When met with her uneasy silence, he sighed and gently turned her to face him.

"Had I not asked, would you have told me yourself, ma cherie?"

The slow shake of her head caused a flicker of sadness to mar his visage as he caressed her cheek.

"Ma cherie, that isn't very responsible. You should tell me these things."

"I always wanted...to give it up to someone special...like you and now I feel...It's pathetic!"

Having travelled to her time before, he was somewhat aware that there was something of a stigma around women maintaining their virginity past a certain age, so he understood where she was coming from...but still...

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, ma beaute. I'm actually honored that you deem me worthy of being your first. But please be more honest about it. I loathe to think what would have happened had I hurt you out of ignorance."

He tucked her hair behind her ear, cupping her soft red cheek with a tender smile.

He would take care of her and make it the best she would ever experience. After all, he had every intention of not just being the first, but also the last.

Charles

Unfortunately, by the time Charles realized that his belle was as untouched as freshly laid snow, he was already inside her....oops.

He just taken notice of the pain all over Y/N's beautiful face and froze in his place before becoming aware of the ominous slickness down there. One glance at the bit of bleeding sent a chill down his spine as it hit him.

"Y...Y/N, you're a...I'm sorry, I didn't realize!"

He is so apologetic, peppering kisses all over her teary face as she shakily lets out a few whimpers, each one sending a cut into his heart.

"You...didn't realize...because I didn't tell you. It's not...your fault."

Her squeaky, pained reassurance did little to assuage his worries.

Charles remained as still as could be, not wanting to tear or break anything else. His large, cat-like eyes were wide, mournful and his lover feared he would also start crying.

"B...But why didn't you, now you're bleeding! I'm so sooo sorry!"

"I...I just felt...I thought it was embarrassing. I never did this before, because I wanted...to give it to someone who loved me and I know that you're more experienced than me and I..."

She couldn't continue before she had to bite down on her lip to restrain another onslaught of pained noises. She got her point across though, because Charles understood.

"Please don't be embarrassed! It's really sweet and I'm really happy you're letting me be the one to...Just...please don't lie to me anymore..."

Now, he actually did look like he was going to cry, nuzzling her like a love starved kitten, his tongue darting out to flick away a tear on her cheek.

Y/N swallowed thickly as she responded with a jerky nod.

Charles was always going to smother her with love, but now, she might as well have been gold. He will bend over backwards to make sure her first time with him would be earth shattering to make up for the pain.

🌸

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp comte #ikevamp charles #ikevamp headcanons

[alwaysshallow]

Tomato emoji here.

I would love to request a little cute gaz fic yk? I feel like my boy doesn’t get enough love at all..

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick x gn!reader

You watch a movie with your boyfriend, after he comes back from deployment. (2,1k)

AO3 version

A/N: I'm so sorry it took so long!! Yet again, I hope it's gonna satisfy you! <3 Late birthday gift, I'd say.

It's the third Avengers movie, and Gaz still doesn't want to tell you what is going on.

Instead, he stares at you. Not like that surprises you in any way. It's a habit of his, you figured it out in the beggining of your relationship with him – he has his days, where he just needs to... zone out and stare. It happens more after he comes home to you, tired of everything that happened.

Mostly, he speaks about his deployment. Talks how they got the bad guy, or intel – really depends what it was about, but mostly he acts almost boyish, like he wasn't talking about some mission where his life was on line. He treats it like an adventure, something he wants to share with you because he's so proud that he not only made that far, but he made the world a better place with his fight. You appreciated it every time.

Now, he just stares at you. He doesn't even watches the movie that he carefully picked. He didn't even pay attention to the previous two before, he's just beside you, looking at you with unreadable face. Even if you want to, you can't read him, Kyle is like a walking mystery. You'd like to solve it, but it's harder than you thought it would be.

Nonetheless, there's a strange kind of understanding between you two. Gaz has never confessed, but you know that it's bad now. It's this kind of bad, where you want just to hug him and tear every worry he has off his face, whisper some soothing words. Everything for a man that did so much for you, a man that really brought the best of you.

The man who actually fought for you, when you wanted to leave him, when you told him it won't work.

He made it work. It was hard, but he made it work because he loved you. And, he still loves you.

You don't know this, but he wants your face to be the last thing on his mind before he dies, that's why he stares. Just in case something will happen, he has to remember your face.

“Tired?” Kyle asks quietly, tugging the strand of your hair behind your ear. You’re dozing off on the couch, and he feels pretty bad for keeping you up. It's almost three in the morning, you should sleep. It's his fault; he wants you by his side because you soothe him.

"A bit." you shrug, looking at him. It's not a big deal for you – even if your eyelids are way too heavy, your boyfriend's sake is more important than anything. "I can't sleep anyway." you lie swiftly.

Even if you won't sleep that night at all, it's all fine for you. It's about his comfort, not yours, and it's about making him confess what happened. You both know that he always feels better after a quick talk, but he's always so torned between telling you and keeping it for himself. Bad things shouldn't include you – he thinks, and he tells you this every time you two are fighting.

It's always about him being too secretive about things that bug him. Not that you counted, but most of the times, he always talked about his traumas so casually, after weeks. "I almost lost a leg" or things similar to this, concerning for normal civilian – like you – were pretty "normal" for a soldier – like him. You told him multiple times his explanation was shit, and he learned it the hard way, when you refused to go to bed with him because you were mad.

Apparently, nothing worked on Garrick as well as a threat of not spending a night in his arms; the captain of Task Force 141 always joked about this being his potential punishment, not 100 push-ups.

"Yeah." Kyle murmurs eventually. "Me, too." his voice is raw with emotion, and you can feel how much he wants you closer, he doesn't even notice your lie. You can't help but wonder, even if nothing is said out loud, how you came to understand each other so well. Was it because you loved each other so much, or your character was similar?

"I know." you just say, as you stare back at him.

He's a strange man, you know it – sometimes he was cutting you off, sometimes he had to have a quick break from everything, including you. The longest break was three days, and he came back on his knees, apologizing.

Most of the times, he was kissing you breathlessly, whispering sweet nothings to you, as his hands were working on unbuttoning your shirt. He needs this kind of contact, it's the love language of his. It's something comforting, being in your close embrace, without having to think of the rest of the world.

You know it, he knows it, so without any hesitation from your side, you come closer, sitting on his lap. Next thing you do is hugging him, tight; Kyle wraps his arms around you too, immediately. He feels your warmth, his body pressed against yours. He inhales your scent - the perfume you chose is his favorite.

Probably because he chose it for you as a Christmas gift, but it was really pretty, too.

This is a comfort he desperately needs right now.

"God," he sighs, burying his face into your neck. "I'm so glad you're here. I'm a mess." he speaks in a harsh whisper, like he doesn't want anybody around you to know, even if it's only the two of you awake. The rest of boys are sleeping in your house, Johnny wasted in the kitchen, Ghost probably in the bathtub, Price... well, Price probably outside. Smoking cigar or talking to someone over the phone.

You can't care less about this in the moment.

"I have these..." he starts, but pauses. "Bad dreams." he whispers eventually. "Really bad."

You try not to ask, so he won't trouble himself with speaking; that's the level of being close that you two have. Unspoken rules, so he will be comforted enough to eventually open up, while you listen, caressing his back in circular motions, her eyes shut, when his face is in her neck.

"About what?" you ask quietly, trying not to push him, but five minutes passed, and he got quiet again. "About what are those dreams, Kyle?"

He sighs. "Bad things. Bad things I've done. Bad things I've seen." Kyle pauses. Then, very slowly, he starts again."It feels real. In one moment, I'm sleeping by your side, and by another one, someone is kidnapping you. And I can't do shit about it" There's a deep, primal terror in Kyle's tone. "Then, when I wake up..." he trails off. "And you're here, sleeping. I'm feeling like I'm losing it, baby."

Your face is a definition of worry; you weren't aware how nightmares were affecting him. It feels bad not to know. You feel like you are a shitty girlfriend, but Kyle seems to notice that, as you take a deep breath. He hugs you tighter and places a kiss on the top of your head.

"I don't want to wake you up, but it's your presence that I always want. I don't know what I would do without you." he pauses. It looks like he wishes this moment would never end; because he knows it will end, sooner or later.

Probably sooner. They already have a mission they talk about, and Kyle, quite literally, wants to vomit every time they bring that up. It's not one of the hardest, but one of the longest. Three months without you is like a dagger to his heart, he already feels so tired, but asking Price for a break feels wrong.

Task Force 141 was formed for something and that certain "something" is: being ready whenever the world needed them.

"I'm always gonna be here with you, Kyle. No matter what, no matter what you are dreaming of." you whisper, kissing his head again. "Always. Come on, with a boyfriend like you? I'm the safest in the whole world."

He's silent at that statement. It's not like he doesn't believe you, but he knows how fucked up the world is. How fucked up people are, to do anything to get something.

Probably that's why the only people that knows about your relationship is his closest family and Task Force. Other people? It would be dangerous.

"I was going to tell you something," he eventually murmurs again, staring at you. He wants to change the topic, badly. "Ask, if we want to be precise. I don't know if I should. But I want to."

You kiss the top of his head, your eyes shutting for a moment or two once again. You're tired, but not ready to go to sleep without Kyle feeling better. "What is it? You know you can tell me anything, Kyle."

"You can read me like a book." he chuckles, shaking his head.

"And you happen to be my favorite book." you point out, chuckling under your nose too. "Tell me."

"It's something I wanted to do for... a few months."

Those words hang in the air. Kyle doesn't feel the urge to add any further details; he wants to see how you react, if you react. If you might know something, if you get the idea he's trying to tell you. In his opinion, you should be able to fill the gaps, the blanks, with your own intuition.

It doesn't help you to figure his thoughts, when he stares at you with those pretty, deep brown eyes. He expects you to know, you are together for two years already, but you really don't want to overinterpret this because if you would, he'd never let you live through it.

"You want to buy an apartment together?" you ask, even if it's not what you are thinking about. Kyle scoffs, as he kisses your neck; his face is still burried here.

"No." he raises his head. His back straightens up. "I want to marry you." Garrick's words are so genuine, so full of that sincerity you needed right now. You slowly clear your throat, as you look into his eyes.

It's important moment for you.

"And you're telling me this now, so I can expect this? Or you want a clue about a ring?" you grin, as you give a little peck to his lips.

Before he speaks, you know from his look that it's not exactly it.

"I was on that long mission, deep inside enemy territory. It took... a toll on me. Listen" he sighs, interwining your fingers with his. "You're my rock, my life line. You've always been the one for me. And I want to marry you now. As soon as possible."

"As soon as... we don't even..."

"Don't worry about your family. We can arrange something small for now, and have a big wedding later. But I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He wants to marry you. A thought, a thought that he wants to realize as soon as possible, maybe even twice; something small, and then, something big for their families. You look at him, softly, as you think. It's hard to get the rush coming from him words, to not have second thoughts why exactly he wants it so soon.

Is it because he knows something bad is coming? You're overthinking this, sure, but it's a big life decision, it's something you could regret if you wouldn't think of it after.

"Please." he adds after a moment. "I need an answer."

Kyle acts like he can read your thoughts; he drops to one knee right in front of you, looking up at you – it's clear you're the love of his life.

"I don't want another day, another mission without you being my wife. Missions are getting tougher and I want..."

He doesn't have to say anything else; you understand, so you interrupt him, as you kiss him. You know you will have a wonderful life together. Your own family, together. You were meant to be a team, both in this life and the past. It's the order of things.

"We can marry soon, yes. Something small." you intertwine your fingers with his. "But, then, something bigger, alright? Exquisite. With everyone around us" you kiss him.

A small, hopeful smile spreads across Kyle's features. "And babies?" he asks, as if he knows the answer to that question. You can't help but laugh.

"You're speeding the process, Kyle. We will talk about it after the ring" you tease, as you kiss him.

You know that you will have babies with him, though; but the later he will realize, the longer he will want them.

#kyle garrick fanfic #kyle garrick #call of duty gaz #cod mw2 #call of duty #gaz mw2 #gaz call of duty #kyle garrick fluff #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz garrick x reader #cod x reader #gaz x reader #gaz cod #mw2 #cod fanfic

[rosewine-5]

Eyes Never Lie: Part IV

gif made by nowadays

summary: Being friends with Coriolanus for a long time lets you what drives him to succeed and survive. You've also gained the insight to guess how he's feeling or what he's about to say just by the expression on his face. But only things that you could never decipher were the thoughts behind his eyes.

A.N: I’m not dead! Had a health emergency so that's why this is late (don't hate me), but part 4 is finally here!

word count: 4.9k

divider made by firefly-graphics

Felix Ravinstill was dead.

You went by the hospital to check on him, only to hear his ventilator sound off the time of his death, sunrise on the last day of the 11th Hunger Games. You watched from a distance as his mother and father held themselves as they cried over the loss of their son, and you walked away, saddened by the death of a friend; the death toll of dead or scarred friends now rising to 3.

These were friends you had known since childhood, people you had grown up together with, people who are now dead and scarred, lives forever changed in the blink of an eye. You were walking out of the room when you were suddenly pushed into a bathroom. Your hand grabbed the sleeve of the person and pulled them off of you. You were met with yellow eyes, black hair, and a long turtleneck shirt. Your mouth fell open as you recognized the person who pulled you into the room.

“Clemmie?” you whispered and wrapped your arms around her. She hugged you back as you let a tear fall. “Why won't you visit me?” she asked, her tone having an angry edge to it. “Gaul told us you had an infectious flu.” You said, looking at her sickly appearance. “She's a liar, that snake changed me. I haven't gotten anyone sick.” she seethed, and you noticed she would hiss as her tongue would twitch with her body. Her eyes then scanned you, “You need to stay away from her, she's gonna get you killed, she already wants me dead.”

She then added to her sentence, “Don’t let her poison get to you, she wants us to be like her test!” Clemensia started to hiss as she held your arms, prompting the hospital staff to open the door, catching you two. One of them grabbed, holding one of her arms tight as another did the same.

“Watch! Her games are gonna get us all a free ticket to the next life!” Clemensia yelled before a staffer pricked her with a needle, and she went limp. Before she was dragged into another room, her shirt rode up, revealing the bottom of her torso, and a batch of scales festering in the middle.

The walk to the academy made your mind race. Your thoughts drifted to Lucy Gray, who was hopefully still alive. She has a low chance of making it out alive, that you knew. She could charm a crowd bit when it came to physical strength… yeah. Walking into the lab, you made yourself a promise: If there was any way you could help her in the games, rules be damned, you would do it. Gual was already waiting for you.

“take it you know about Ravinstill’s son?” She asked, to which you nodded in response. “Death, a certain subject you’ve become friends with these last few days.” Dr. Gaul said before leading you to a stack of cages, starting a long day of learning about her creations and how they were made.

You caught glimpses of the games, only seeing the death of Lucy’s fellow tribute, Jessup, another innocent life claimed by the games. While you were writing in your notepad, you heard a scream on the screen that broke your focus. Reaper was holding Dill in his arms, blood streaming out of her nose. She was dead. “Her illness finally took over.” you said to yourself, noticing Gaul’s eyes glued to the screen, a curious look on her face. In a turn of events, starts to line the dead tributes up in a line. This broke your focus, making you look at what he was doing.

The most shocking part came when he tore the capitol flag down from the arena, making you stand up. As he laid the flag over the fallen tributes, Sejanus’ words came into your mind. They didn't deserve this. In the corner of your eye, you saw Dr. Gaul go to a desk in front of a camera. “Start the broadcast.” She said to one of her other assistants. Reaper's words were soon cut off by Dr. Gaul.

“Capitol citizens, I’m afraid I must interrupt our Games to announce a tragic loss, one that affects us all. Felix Ravinstill, son of our beloved president, has this morning succumbed to his injuries sustained in the rebel bombing.” A few of the lab assistants gasped at the news as you turned towards Gaul, watching her break the news to Panem.

“Out there in the districts, they will be celebrating this young boy’s death as a triumph. I will not allow my Games to give our enemy such a victory. I swear to you, here and now, before the sun goes down tonight, a rainbow of destruction will engulf our arena. Even if it means there’s to be no victor in these Games.” And with that, she cut the feed.

Your mouth fell open, “You did that to cut the tribute off.” She looked at you with a cold stare, “Just one more rebel to kill.” You saw the lab assistants start to cage up the snakes, and you watched the colorful creatures of death go into a cylinder and be pushed outside, you turned and saw Coriolanus walking towards you. He was looking between you and the tank, a concerned look on his face.

He was holding his handkerchief in his hand and put it in your hand. “It holds her scent, please.” Coriolanus begged. The memory of Dr. Gaul making you retrieve the paper came back to you: the snakes didn't bite you, so they won't harm Lucy Gray. You nodded and walked to the tank, sliding it between the slot in just as it was lifted off. He gave you a grateful smile as he walked off. You walked out and saw Dr. Gaul with her back turned to you, laughing to herself, “Go watch the finale, my rose,” she said, now turning to you, “Say your silent goodbyes to your friend.”

You speedwalked into the room, finding Tigris, and sat next to her. She gripped your hand as your eyes were glued to the screen, praying the handkerchief trick worked. You watched as the youngest tribute, Wovey, walked towards the tank, not knowing it would be the last thing she saw. Soon the snakes broke the tank, and covered Wovey, charging towards the tributes.

“Not candy! Down goes Wovey.” Lucky Flickerman said and continued to announce the death of all the tributes until it all got to Lucy. You looked between the screen and Coriolanus. The snakes weren’t charging towards her, now slowly creeping. “It worked.” You said to yourself, letting out a sigh of relief. “She’s won, let her out.” Corio said. “Afraid that’s not your call to make, Mr. Snow.” Lucky Flickerman said and nodded to Dr. Gaul.

You suddenly heard Lucy start to sing, trying to calm the snakes. The way her voice took the room over, you could only imagine what her voice was doing to the other viewers. Between the snakes wrapping around her dress and her powerful voice, tears started to form in your eyes. By the end of her song, you could only hear the sound of her humming and your breath. Coriolanus now turned to Dr. Gaul, “Dr. Gaul, please, get her out.” He shouted. Tigris and you shared a brief look before you both yelled “Get her out!”

Soon the room started to fill with the refrain “Let her out” while looking at Dr. Gaul. She raised her hand, silencing the students who waiting for her answer. With a pointed look at you, she turned to a person next to her and said, “Let her out.” You didn't even hear Flickerman’s words as you hugged Tigris and she held you. Your classmates began to walk towards Coriolanus while you stayed by Tigris. “The games are as I predicted!” Lucky Flickerman shouted, tearing up his paper and releasing doves from his hands.

Amateur magician my ass.

Eventually, he broke through the crowd and found you two in the middle of the group, Tigris coming up and holding him first. After a moment, he came to you and you enveloped him into a hug. “You did it.” you whispered to him, feeling his hands squeeze you. The games were over, Coriolanus had won, and all would be well.

That afternoon, you were finishing up writing down notes of formulas Dr. Gaul assigned to you when Dean Highbottom walked in, “I assume your friend is ecstatic he won the games, as he should be.” You turned to him, taking in his tone of speech. “I find it strange, this relationship between you and Snow,” he said, “coming so close while only meeting in the Academy even though you both grew up close together, did you not?” You nodded in response, “We had mutual friends, we knew about each other, but didn't cross paths until the first day.”

“It’s been nice seeing you two help each other as best you could these years,” Highbottom said, “but I’m afraid it's come to an end, dear one.” For a second you couldn't speak, but you leaned forward. “It appears your friend slipped his songbird a compact mirror full of rat poison, assisting the kills of that sickly tribute as well as another,” Dean Highbottom said, making your blood run cold, “And a handkerchief with his father’s initials was found in the bottom of the snake bin, saving his tributes life in the end.”

You covered your mouth and cursed, “Goddamit Coryo.” you whispered to yourself, but you pulled yourself together. “So now what happens to the prize, who wins?” you asked, looking him in the eyes. “Well, as I said, cheating will be punished. Being a peacekeeper will be one suited for him I assume. As for the winner of the Hunger Games, I'm still deciding on that one.” he said, standing beside you. “In some ways, I say the viewers for having a show. In other ways, I say his songbird is a winner, she gets to live after all. But I would also say you as well.” Highbottom stated.

Now you were confused, “How do I win?” He shrugged, “You got the experience of the games, up close and personal. You, a capitol student, are now an apprentice to the Gamemaker of the Hunger Games, a survivor of a capitol bombing, and top of your class, why aren't you anything but a victor of these games?” Dean Highbottom asked. “Come on, you didn't think the public forgot your little act in the zoo already, apprentice? You made a little name for yourself without even realizing it,” He chuckled as he looked up at you, “I congratulate you.”

“For what?” you asked, looking at him. “Surviving Snow, and his games.” Highbottom said, looking past you and at Dr. Gaul who entered the room. “Why would I have to survive him?” you asked, but he shook his head. “Later, apprentice, your teacher calls.” he said, and walked out the same way he came. Dr. Gaul approached while carrying a clipboard, a teasing smirk on her face, “Death’s resounding bell tolls once more, the number of friends lost rises to four.” She then looked up, “One last thing, the snakes are getting a bit much for the rest of my assistants, help them out for me.”

You had gotten used to her random “side quest” as you called them, so you went out of the door, missing the cold and hard stare she gave you. When you approached the arena, you looked for the rest of the people.

Why was the arena empty?

That was when you heard it, the slither of snakes coming from all corners of the arena. “No…” you said to yourself, seeing snakes come from all the crevices of the arenas. You let out a scream and backed into a barrier. You began to climb the debris, ironically ending up in the same area Lucy Gray did. As the snakes wrapped around your legs, you held your breath, knowing it would be your last. You kneeled on the ground, letting your last moments of life looking at the sunset. Surprisingly, they only wrapped around your body but made no effort to harm you.

You kneeled there and watched as they swarmed your body, making a rainbow blanket over your body. For some reason, you laughed at the revelation of the handkerchief not only saving Lucy Gray but you as well. “I had a feeling my theory was correct.” You heard the voice of Dr. Gaul say. You looked at the camera pointing at you and sighed, “You knew I helped?” “I had a hunch, little rose, and I’m usually right about a lot of things.” She chuckled. “So now what, you gonna turn me over to Highbottom, turn me into an Avox?” You seethed, now having a rush of anger. “And let the newest gem of Panem go to waste, I’m not that cruel. The fact loverboy is going to the districts as a peacekeeper is punishment enough for you.” Dr. Gaul chuckled.

“No child, you shall go to 12, have a little vacation away from home.” She said as you slowly stood up, the snakes still all around you. “And do what, just stay there spinning the story to have me a permanent resident for cheating?” You shouted, looking at the camera. “No, you shall adapt. Pack a simple bag.” Dr. Gaul said, “And you shall see how blessed you were to prosper and grow in the Capitol, not in the districts like the snake you saved.” And fine the camera’s red light turned off. You sighed and slowly walked out of the arena, the snakes, surprisingly letting you move. You walked home as if you were marching in a funeral procession.

You hit the bed cried yourself to sleep, and packed your bag in the morning. Dr. Gaul made up the perfect fabricated story to your parents, and you didn’t protest, the fear of her ratting you out shutting you up. You got dressed, put your jacket on and you were on a train to the districts that early morning. The train ride might as well have been one to hell. With each tree going past you was only a reminder of being far away from home. You held your necklace in your hand, watching the greenery of the land pass you by.

When the train stopped, your face contoured into one of emptiness, the reality of your situation setting in. You were alone. No parents to vouch for you. No Sejanus to make you laugh and comfort you. No Coriolanus, you had to stop thinking about his situation to keep yourself from crying. As you held your bag tightly a dressed officer walked forward. “Gual’s student?” He asked you, to which you nodded in reply. “Welcome to District 12, this way.” He helped you into the back of a vehicle and sat in front of you.

“You’ll be shadowing and assisting the scientist in the laboratory. You have the freedom to explore, you’ll be here for a while.” He said, watching the coal miners pass you all by. “What is there to do?” You asked, looking at the buildings. The officer nodded, “There’s the Hob, group that calls themselves the Covey performs there.” Your eyes met his at the mention of “covey.” Lucy Gray was covey, so she would be here. “When do they perform?” you asked.

“I'm not sure, but hopefully soon.” he said as the car stopped in front of a building. You were coached throughout the day about the jabberjays, as well as what they were made for. Only in the late afternoon did you finally catch a break. Your hands ached from the pecks and bites of the jabberjays. You walked through the streets, hands in your pocket, taking in District 12. Birds were flying around, peacekeepers walking the streets, and someone calling your name.

Wait…

You froze and turned around, seeing a blonde girl looking at you, behind her was Lucy Gray. She immediately ran towards you and enveloped you in a hug. “You’re here,” She said, looking you up and down, “Why are you here?” “Gaul figured out I helped Coriolanus cheat during the games.” You said, and she came to a realization. “The snakes, that was you?” Lucy Gray asked, you nodded “yes.” She then hugged you once more, tighter this time than the last. You hugged her back as she asked, “What happened to Coriolanus?” Your breath hitched, and then you let it out, “He has to serve as a peacekeeper for his wrongdoings.” Her hands rubbed your shoulders, “How long does he have to serve?” You shook your head, trying not to cry, “I don’t know.” Your voice came out weak, your emotion taking over your voice.

“I’m so sorry-.” “Lucy Gray!” A voice yelled. Her expression immediately fell. “Piss off Billy!” The blonde girl who was with Lucy yelled. “Nobody’s talking to you, Ivory!” Billy yelled at the girl. “This was Maude Ivory” you realized, slowly breaking out of your trance. “Why don't you go torture another poor girl.” You shouted. Now his gaze turned to you.

“And who might you be?” Billy asked, looking you up and down. Well, shit. You didn't want people to find out you'd been sent here, lord knows how the district feels about the capitol. So you put on your best smile and sarcastic tone, “Calanthe Hemlock, and I'm so glad to meet such a waste of air like yourself.” Billy purses his lips before looking at Lucy again, “This conversation ain't over.” You three watched as he walked off before Maude Ivory looked at you, “Calanthe Hemlock huh? Where’d that name come from?” She asked. “The name “Calanthe” came from a close friend.” you explained, not missing the sorrowful look Lucy gave you. “Hemlock is one of my favorite shades of green.” You said and leaned on the building close to you.

“How long will you be here?” Lucy Gray asked, looking you in your eyes, Maude Ivory following the same movement. “I don’t know, could be weeks, could be months.” You said. Her face slows turned into a smile as she looked at Maude Ivory. “What’s that face for?” You asked. “This hell is gonna turn into a vacation.” Lucy said, sliding her arm on your back and walking you deeper into town. “You won’t have to live in your Capitol dollhouse, you can just be you.” Lucy Gray said, holding your hand and squeezing it. “Calanthe Hemlock, resident of District 12. No one knows your name, or your past, all they know is that you’re my friend.” She said.

As you watched the sunset over the trees your face slowly broke out into a smile. Calanthe Hemlock just stepped into the streets of District 12, and she was gonna have the time of her life while she had the time. The first week you still had your walls up, nervous about being alone in a new environment for the first time. By the second week, you were hanging out with Lucy every day, and by the third week, you almost forgot your birth-given name.

When Lucy Gray & Maude Ivory introduced you to their family in the Covey several weeks later, you wouldn't lie and say you were nervous. Those nerves were soon soothed by their kindness and acceptance of you. Turns out that risking your entire future for a friend ends up giving you more of them. They walked you through the woods until they came to a lake, and all rushed to jump in, all except Lucy Gray, who was watching you.

“What's wrong, Calanthe?” she asked. “I haven’t gone swimming in a while.” you said as you took your dress off. Lucy smiled softly, “Jump in or I'll shove you in myself.” She was gone in a second, jumping over the dock and into the waters. You sighed, “When in 12.” You said to yourself and ran down the dock, jumped up, and let the water cover you.

When the water ran out of your ears, The cheers of the covey filled them, chanting your name. You spent the afternoon swimming. When you all took a break, Luxy sat beside you in the grass. “I never got the chance to ask you, now did they find out you helped me?” Lucy Gray asked.

For a second, you were back in the area, the snakes slithering up your body and over your throat. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before speaking. “Dr. Gaul, the game maker, told me I was helping the other lab assistants gather the snakes out of the arena. When I walked in I was the only one there, and the snakes swarmed me a minute later.”

Lucy Gray’s mouth fell open and closed before finally closing completely, “You know she’s an absolute nutjob right?” You nodded in response, looking out at the water. “Well, stand up. You're going out tonight.” Lucy said, grabbing your hands, and making you stand. “Where are we going?” you asked, letting her walk you down the trail. “You, Hemlock, are joining us in the Hob tonight.” Maude Ivory said, looking up at you.

You scoffed, “I didn't know I was the guest of honor.” “We’re playing tonight,” Barb Azure said, looking back at you, “and you’re dancing tonight.” You laughed, “I don’t have a choice, do I?” You asked, already knowing the answer. “Nope, now go on and kill some time, we’ll be looking out for ya.” Tam Amber said, giving you a playful wink as they walked ahead of you.

When the night was setting you took a quick shower and changed into a dress you packed and walked to the Hob. The dance was already in full swing, boots stomping on the floor and loud chatter filling the air.

A smile found its way upon your face, the change of scene is a complete 180 of the dancing you were used to, yet somehow more entertaining to see. Soon you were pulled into a dance, losing track of time and the worries being capitol fell away.

When the music stopped, you found yourself in the front, looking up at Maude Ivory. “Is it hot in here?” she yelled, you and the crowd yelling “yeah” in response. “Cause we’re plannin’ on heating it up a bet more. The one, the only, Lucy Gray Baird!” she shouted, and Lucy Gray came onto the stage. As she gave her small speech, she was given a bottle, you caught her gaze and she smiled.

“Everybody!” Lucy Gray suddenly yelled, to which the crowd responded, “Yeah!” “I'd like to give a special shoutout to my dear friend, someone who pioneered for my victory throughout the games. My dear friend Clanathe Hemlock!” She yelled, pulling you up on stage, the applause and whistles drowning out your nervous giggles. “Safe to say she's happy I survived.” Lucy Gray said, letting you back down. “Now, how about a song, huh?” Lucy Gray asked, and the music queued her in.

As soon as she started singing, you recognized the lyrics. It was the same song she sang at the reaping, but it sounded a whole lot better with the band. You then noticed she froze up on a lyrics and stopped dancing to follow her gaze, but you couldn't see who she was looking at. You did manage to see the smirk she gave shot you. That was when Billy waste of air Taupe broke through the crowd.

You turned and saw Billy Taupe shove a peacekeeper before getting shoved on his ass. You covered your mouth to laugh but that hand shot out to keep yourself between him and Lucy Gray. “Leave the girl alone, Taupe!” you yelled. His eyes met yours and all of a sudden you felt his hand slap the hell out of you, sending you back onto the stage.

The slap damn near knocked you out, but you got back up just in time to see a peacekeeper with blonde hair rush towards him, shouting “Don’t touch her.” You stood up and looked at the peacekeepers, and your eyes filled with tears as you recognized his eyes. Coriolanus was the one knocking the hell out of Billy Taupe. “Coryo stop!” you heard another familiar voice yell. “Nah get off me!” Coriolanus yelled, getting dragged away by Sejnaus. Why are you here? You watched Coriolanus look you in the eyes as your face broke into the biggest smile you ever smiled in your life.

You turned to Lucy Gray as she smiled back at you, “Well look who's here.” “You saw him when you stopped singing.” you said, putting two and two together. Her hand went to your cheek and sighed, ”Try and clean that up some, ‘Lanthe, don't want this on your record.” You rolled your eyes, “Shut up, before I make you my next test subject.” You joked. “Ya love me too much to do that.” Lucy Gray yelled as you walked away. “Unfortunately!” you shouted back, blowing her a kiss as you walked back to your barracks.

The next day the slap mark went down, but it still stung like hell. Pulling on your long sleeved dress and boots, you walked to the lunch hall. You heard from the other trainees you had the day off and immediately went to find Lucy. When you walked through town, you heard your name being called and saw Sejanus running towards you. You wrapped your arms around him and let out a laugh, “What are you doing here!” “Once I found out where Coryo was going, I followed close behind. I wasn't expecting you to be here.” Sejanus said.

Your hand ran over his hair, and you pouted. “I’m gonna miss your hair.” You said, making him chuckle. “Coriolanus was looking for you earlier,” Sejanus said, making your eyes widen. His eyes took in your expression, and he smiled softly. “You don't know how loved you are, Calanthe.” He said, smoothing out your hair before sighing. “It's nice to get away from the capitol, isn't it?” you asked, Sejanus nodding “yes” in response.

His gaze soon went behind you, and he rubbed your shoulders, “I gotta go, I’ll catch up with you later.” Sejanus gave you a short smile and then walked off. You sighed, wondering who he went to talk to as you walked around. The grass hitting the skirt of your dress. You saw a familiar figure walking through the grass and your heart jumped. Before you knew it, you broke out in a run towards him. “Coryo!” you yelled, a smile breaking your face open.

He turned and mirrored your smile, walking towards you as well. You opened your arms to bring him into a hug, which he was pulled into the second you got to him. His arms held you to his chest, so close you could almost hear his heartbeat. For the first few minutes, neither of you said a word. It wasn't until he broke the silence, “Why are you here?” Coriolanis asked. “Gaul found out I helped you, and I was sent to 12 the next day.” You saw his face flash from anger to confusion to worry.

“Your parents don't know the truth, do they?” He asked, making you shake your head “No”. Coriolanus then sighed, “It's nice to know you're here.” His eyes went to yours, to your lips, to your necklace, and then right back to your lips. “No capitol. Dr. Gaul can't control us.” He whispered, leaning towards you. His nose brushed yours, making you stand still. “We’re free, Calanthe, for once.” Coriolanus added.

You had gotten used to being called by that name, but nothing could ever beat the name coming from his lips. You hadn't realized how close he was to your face until his breath hit your lips. Looking up at him, your hands found the back of his head, and then his cheek, before resting on it. He closed his eyes for a second, soaking in the comfort of your touch. “When I was on the train, I almost wanted them to shoot me.” he said, now opening his eyes. “Why, Coryo?” you asked.

“I’d rather go through the games as a tribute than stay away from you.” He whispered, making a tear fall down your face. His hand came to wipe it away with his thumb, but his hand remained on your face. You didn't know when, but the moment changed with a soft gust of wind. Like magnets, your lips found each other in a passionate kiss. Bottled-up emotions come forth to be put into the moment. His hands went down to your waist pulling you to him and holding you there.

You wrapped one arm around his neck and one on his cheek deepening the kiss, making him chuckle. He didn't verbally respond, but he kept kissing you like he would never see you again, and you weren’t complaining. All memories of the games, you being sent to 12 faded away with every second of his kisses. This was all that mattered now.

Coriolanus Snow was here. Dr. Gaul and her meddlesome ways weren't. And right now you were kissing the boy you loved in a field of flowers; what more could you want? If Dr. Gaul wanted you to adapt, you would do as she asked: After you lived a little.

#black reader #black!reader #coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow #tom blyth #coriolanus snow x black reader #tom blyth x reader #eyes never lie #tom blyth fanfiction #lucy gray x black reader #lucy gray x reader #lucy gray #lucy gray baird #sejanus plinth x black reader #sejanus plinth x reader #sejanus plinth #sejanus x reader #coriolanus snow x black! reader #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus x you #young coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus snow imagine #coriolanus fanfiction #tbosas x black reader #tbosas x reader #tbosas #tbosas fanfiction #tom blyth x you #Tom blyth x

[virgilisspidey]

Fucken lmk au where wukong has the fourth ring of samadhi fire because he's impulsive and didn't want ao lie and his descendants to suffer because of his stupid mistake, took out the fourth ring somehow before ao lie dies and puts it in himself

All throughout season 3 Mei gets this visions of what truly happened whenever she gets in contact with a ring or whenever she just brushes up against Monkey King and everytime she hears a voice saying variations of this line:

"you don't have to do this alone"

And each time Monkey King seems to recoil away from her

The ritual happens, Wukong couldn't fight properly because the sudden pain in his chest, nezha and him get trapped in ice, macaque goes to the ritual site to activate the samadhi fire

Nezha frees them and when they both get there Wukong doesn't see Macaque strangling Mei, he sees him strangling Ao lie and he launches himself in the circle

The samadhi fire reforged

No one can calm Wukong down, he's going on and on about how he would fix things, about how he was sorry, and he doesn't call them by their names, he doesn't seem to recognise them, he calls them the names of his friends through the journey, like he was hallucinating. He even said sorry to Macaque but he wasn't looking at him properly, it's like he was speaking to a ghost, he doesn't believe he's alive again.

But he knows MK and whenever MK talks to him Wukong would talk as if it wasn't MK he was talking to.

He kept on going on and on about how the kid is probably mad at him, and that he deserves the kid being mad at him. He won't listen to reason.

Wukong kept on promising that this was the last time he would burden everyone anymore

He was so out of it

Until Mei speaks up.

With MK in front of her to protect her from the flames, both of them went into the line of fire despite everyone's protest.

Both of them trying to get Monkey King back from his self destructive thoughts

"I know you're upset! I am too!" Mei would shout. "But you're hurting everyone here! You're hurt my great great a thousand times grandfather! You're hurting MK! You're hurting me! AND ESPECIALLY YOU'RE HURTING YOURSELF! I know dealing with your mistakes is hard! I might not understand thousands of years worth of baggage but I know my family well enough to know my ancestor would forgive you!"

"I understand why you don't tell me things, Monkey King! I know you lost people that meant so much to you— whether by your own hand or by fate's design and that hurts!" MK would shout, slipping but Mei holds him up as they oush forward. "I understand! You're hurting for so long! You made mistakes and everything led to this moment and you crashed! I know it hurts, Monkey King, I know you were alone! But you're not anymore! We're here! I'm here!"

"YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE!"

The fire dies down and they're left with two crying kids holding on to Wukong like a lifeline, and the great sage himself looking burnt and relatively unharmed, his golden eyes red, warm salty tears falling from his cheeks like a calm flowing river.

Ao lie was hugging him, Macaque was hugging him

Even though he felt only comfort...

He still felt he was burning

#lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid au #lmk au #Monkey rotating in my head #Idk if considered shippy or not #I just love the idea of ao lie and wukong's friendship and shiz

[fatecantstopme]

I Can't Lose You

PART THREE

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Summary: The BAU team is hunting a sadistic murderer and you go undercover to reveal his identity and catch him in the act. Things don’t go according to plan and so much is revealed about you, your team, and your boss…things that will change all of your lives forever.

Warnings: Flashbacks of rape and torture. Mentions of death. Cursing. Lots of angst. Sweet fluffy fluff.

A/N: Series should be read in order or it won't make sense. This part also jumps between different characters' POVs.

Part One, Part Two, Part Four

~Hotch’s POV~

She looked so small, so broken. Just looking at her was enough to break my heart, but hearing the way she said ‘I love you’ like she was saying goodbye felt like a knife in my heart. 

She was looking at me like she was trying to memorize my face…like she was convinced she was never going to see it again. Then suddenly, she closed her eyes.

“Baby, stay with me,” I pleaded.

I squeezed her hand, but she didn’t squeeze it back.

“Baby, please…”

Tears streamed down my face and my heart pounded in my chest. Then I heard the loud beep that indicated her heart had stopped beating. The medic pushed me out of the way and immediately began CPR. 

“Punch it or we’re gonna lose her!” he yelled to the driver. We were already racing down the highway, but I felt the vehicle pick up speed.

My hands were shaking and I was terrified by what was happening. I silently began to pray, begging God not to take her from me.

The medic continued to give her CPR, but she still wasn’t responsive. Then I heard the beeping begin again as her heart found a rhythm. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. 

Moments later, we pulled into the ER parking lot. Within seconds, they unloaded the gurney and raced into the hospital, with me right behind them. A nurse stepped out in front of me and calmly told me I needed to wait in the waiting room…that I couldn’t go with her. I wanted to fight her, but I knew it would be fruitless. I backed off and she guided me to a seat and told me to wait. 

I looked down at my white shirt, now stained with Isabelle’s blood, and I felt the tears begin anew. I’d always been told that tears were a sign of weakness…and I must never show weakness. I did my best to bottle up my emotion, to not show any pain on my face. I donned the mask I wore every day to hide the agony I felt inside. The fear of losing her gripped my heart in a vise and I struggled to keep the emotion off my face. 

I took a deep breath to calm myself and moments later, my team came rushing into the ER. They saw me and made a bee-line for me. As much as I loved them, the last thing I wanted to do right now was talk. Especially about Isabelle. 

Morgan reached me first. “How is she?”

“She’s in surgery.” I didn’t add that we almost lost her in the ambulance. 

“How bad is it?” Reid asked quietly. 

I looked at him and shook my head. He looked terrified and I instinctively wanted to lie to him, to protect him, but I knew I couldn’t do that. “It’s bad,” I said softly. “She’s very weak and she’s lost a lot of blood.”

Reid turned even more pale and Emily put a hand on his arm. “Reid, maybe you should sit down,” she said gently. He complied and Emily and JJ sat beside him. 

Morgan walked away to call Garcia and Rossi sat down beside me. “How are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” I lied, knowing he wouldn’t believe me.

“Come on, Aaron. Talk to me. I know you’re not okay.”

Part of me wanted to tell him everything I was feeling; just get it all out on the table. But the other part of me was too scared of what could happen if I shared all of that. If I talked about it, if I said it out loud, then it became real…and I wasn’t sure I could handle that right now.

“You’ve been through a lot these past couple years,” Rossi said. “And we’ve been with you through all of it, especially Isabelle. So don’t think for one second that we’re not going to be here when you need us the most.”

All I could do was nod. It was taking all of my self-control not to break down. I was surprised to find myself saying, “You never think this sort of thing will ever happen to you…and you never dream it could happen twice.”

Rossi’s expression was a mix of pity, sympathy, and sorrow. “I’m so sorry, Aaron. You deserve better than this.”

“Thanks,” I said quietly. “But it seems the universe has other plans.” 

“Don’t give up hope just yet. Isabelle’s a fighter…just have a little faith.”

“I can’t lose her,” I whispered.

Rossi put his hand on my shoulder. “I know,” he said gently. “I know.”

The hours passed by slowly. Everyone talked quietly, moving around occasionally. Garcia arrived a couple hours into the surgery. She had grabbed a seat on the first available flight.

I hadn’t moved in at least 3 hours. I couldn’t. I knew they were all wondering what was going on with me. I could tell they were dying to ask questions, but they were all too focused on Isabelle to bother asking me. 

At some point, a nurse came over to tell us Isabelle was still in surgery and I heard Rossi ask questions, but I tuned everything out. 

Time blurred by, but still, I didn’t move. Six hours after we walked through the ER doors, a doctor finally came out to talk to us. He looked exhausted and I instantly felt on edge. 

“How is she?” Morgan asked.

“Her injuries were quite extensive. It took a while to repair the damage the knife caused in her abdomen and to stop the bleeding. However, she’s currently stable and is resting.”

“She’s going to be okay?” Reid asked hopefully. 

“She’s not out of the woods yet, but her chances increase exponentially if she survives the night.”

We all looked at each other in concern. All of us had heard the word ‘if’. 

“What are the odds, doc?” Emily finally asked. 

“Honestly? I’d say she’s got a 60-40 chance.” He looked at each of us individually. “Are any of you her next of kin?”

“No,” Rossi said. “Her parents are deceased and her sister is out of the country.”

“How about a spouse or significant other?”

Rossi glanced over at me, but I remained silent. She wasn’t my girlfriend and it didn’t feel right to claim her as such without her permission.

“No, she’s single,” Rossi answered. “We’re her family.”

The doctor nodded. “Due to her injuries, she’s slipped into a coma. It’s likely her body is just trying to heal itself.”

At the word ‘coma’, I sunk back down into my chair. I buried my head in my hands and tried not to cry. The doctor was still talking, but I could no longer focus on his words. 

“Hotch?” JJ’s voice said a little while later. “The doctor says one of us can sit with her.”

I lifted my head up to find the entire team staring at me.

“It should be you,” Morgan added. 

I nodded and got to my feet. With trembling hands, I followed the doctor to Isabelle’s room. He led me in and I saw her laying on the bed, hooked up to various machines, her skin the same color as the sheets except for the dark blue bruising and angry red cuts.

I took a tentative step towards her and the doctor encouraged me. “Talk to her. She may be able to hear you.”

I sat down in the chair beside her bed and took her hand into mine. “Hey Isabelle, it’s Hotch,” I said. “Umm…Aaron.”

I heard the doctor quietly leave and shut the door behind himself.

“I’m so sorry,” I blurted. “I should have never let you go in there. None of this should have happened.” I closed my eyes. “But that’s not what you wanna hear. You don’t wanna hear me blaming myself, because what good will that do?” I paused. “But what else am I supposed to say? I mean, I don’t even know if you can hear me.” 

And it’s not like I’m a big talker anyway. What am I supposed to say? Should I tell her how much I love her? How desperate I am for her to open her eyes and look at me? Should I tell her all the things I’ve left unsaid?

I settled on telling her a story instead. “Do you know when it was that I first knew I loved you? It was that case in LA, with the guy who kidnapped and murdered all those kids. We’d finally caught him, but we couldn’t find the kid he’d recently kidnapped. I knew it was likely we were just looking for a body, but he didn’t wanna talk. You insisted on giving it a shot, so I let you. You humanized this man, this monster. You made him feelsomething and he told you where to find the little girl. You were so full of passion…of life. You ran out of that room and I followed you. We found that little girl alive…the look on your face when you reunited her with her parents was an incredible sight. I’d never seen anything so beautiful before. You looked at me and smiled. I could still see that fire in your eyes and that’s when I knew. I’ve tried to hide how I’ve felt for so long, but I can’t do it anymore. All I want to do is be with you.” 

Tears streamed down my face and I made the toughest decision of my life. “I want you to come back to me, Izzy. I desperately want you to open your beautiful eyes and look at me…but I can’t ask you to do that. I can’t force you to come back. It’s your choice, Isabelle. You’ve been through so much…and it would just be selfish of me to ask you to stay for me. So if you want to go…I’ll understand.”

I broke down sobbing. I buried my head in her sheets and let it all out. I’d been lucky enough in my life to have loved two incredible women…but I already lost one of them and the thought of losing the other was tearing me apart. 

I tried to picture my life without her and I simply couldn’t. She’d been a part of my life for 5 years…she’d helped me through the most difficult time of my life. Isabelle made my life better. I didn’t want to have a life that didn’t include her. 

~Morgan’s POV~

“Did any of you know?” I asked.

“Know what?” Emily asked.

“About Hotch and Isabelle?”

“They’re friends,” Rossi said. “Isabelle’s been there for him through all the hell he’s experienced the last couple years.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t see it Rossi,” I said. “He’s clearly in love with her.”

“What?” Garcia exclaimed in surprise. “Hotch? In love with Isabelle? No way.”

“It’s true,” I insisted. “You should have seen the way he reacted when she got taken…and when he saw the video.”

“I can’t believe it,” Garcia said.

“Does it really matter how he feels?” Rossi asked.

“I suppose not,” I said. “I just have to wonder if Isabelle feels the same.”

“She does,” Emily said softly. Everyone looked at her in surprise. “I saw the way she looked at him earlier today. You could see it on her face…and you could see it on his too.” 

Rossi sighed. “I saw it too. Not from Izzy, but from Hotch. He told me—back in the van—he told me he loved her. I had no idea until that moment.”

Everyone was silent for a moment. After a while, Reid broke the silence. “What if she doesn’t wake up?”

He sounded so incredibly young and vulnerable. I knew how much he loved Isabelle and I didn’t want him to blame himself for what had happened. “Don’t worry, kid. She’s going to be alright.” Maybe I was reassuring myself more than him. 

JJ reached over and squeezed Reid’s hand. “Don’t blame yourself,” she said gently. 

“It was my idea.” 

“And Isabelle wanted to do it,” Emily said. “It was her decision.”

“No one tells Isabelle what to do, Reid,” Rossi added. “She puts her life on the line for her job every day. The only remarkable thing about today is that she almost lost it.”

It was obvious from Reid’s expression that he was still blaming himself, but he did seem a little less upset. 

“Alright, we’re all exhausted,” Rossi said. “Why don’t all of you go back to the hotel and get some sleep? I’ll call you if anything changes.” We all began to protest, but Rossi held up his hand. “You’re no good to anyone if you’re sleep deprived. Now, go.”

There were grumbles all around, but everyone began to get up and prepare to leave. 

“Rossi? Do you wanna get some sleep? I’ll stay here,” I said.

Rossi shook his head. “As long as my girl is in that bed, I’ll be staying right here.”

I knew how much Isabelle meant to him, so I understood his desire to stay. “Why’d you let Hotch see her instead of you?”

“He loves her,” he said simply.

“So do you.”

Rossi smiled. “I do indeed, but I would never stand in the way of true love. He’s a good man and Izzy deserves someone who loves her like that.”

I clapped him on the back. “You’re a good man, Rossi.”

Rossi nodded. “I just hope that hearing his voice convinces her to wake up.”

“You and me, both.”

~Your POV~

You woke up in a place you didn’t recognize. The bed was soft and warm, and you had no desire to leave it. You breathed in deeply and the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafted your way.

You smiled to yourself and sat up, instinctively glancing at the other side of the bed, but it was empty. You stretched and slid out of the bed, before making your way slowly to the bedroom door and down the hall. There was something familiar about this place, but you couldn’t quite place it. 

You followed the smell of coffee and walked into the kitchen. There was a tall man at the stove with his back to you. He heard you come in and turned around with a smile on his handsome face. “Hey gorgeous. Did you sleep well?”

Your jaw dropped in surprise. “Hotch?”

He looked at you quizzically, then laughed. “I think you may have slept a little too much. You only call me ‘Hotch’ when we’re at work.” 

You continued to stare at him for a few moments before shaking your head. “My brain feels a little fuzzy,” you admitted. 

He smiled and poured a cup of coffee for you. “Maybe this will help.” He handed you the cup and gave you a warm, sweet kiss.

You smiled at him and took a sip. It tasted just the way you liked it. “Delicious,” you murmured. You sat down at the table and watched him cook. He brought you a plate of your favorite breakfast foods before joining you at the table. “Wow. What’s the occasion?” 

He looked surprised. “You really did sleep hard.” He chuckled. “It’s our anniversary.” 

You nearly choked on your coffee. “Our what?” 

He lifted his left hand and wiggled his fingers at you. You noticed the wedding band on his ring finger and instinctively looked down at your own. There was a large diamond ring and platinum wedding band shinning on yours.

“You didn’t forget, did you?” he asked.

“I…I guess I did—I’m sorry.” You closed your eyes and tried to remember your wedding…nothing. Completely blank. “I don’t really remember anything.” 

He looked concerned. “What do you remember?”

You closed your eyes again. “We were working a case down in Atlanta. A Senator was raping and murdering prostitutes.”

The concern on his face intensified. “That was when I first told you I loved you.”

“Yeah, I remember that too…” but you couldn’t remember what happened after that. You could feel something there on the edge of your mind, but you couldn’t grab it. 

“Baby, that was four years ago.”

“What?” you gasped. 

“We worked that case four years ago.” 

You shook your head. “No…no that’s not possible.”

“It’s true,” he insisted.

You closed your eyes and tried to picture what happened next. “What was his name? The Senator?”

“Mark Jacobs.”

You gasped as memories of torture and agony flooded your brain. You dropped to your knees and cried out. 

Hotch grabbed your arms. “Isabelle, what’s wrong? Izzy? I’m here. Stay with me.” His voice began to fade. “Stay with me…”

~Hotch’s POV~

Suddenly, Isabelle began to convulse and machines started screaming. I jumped up as nurses raced into the room. 

They started yelling orders to each other and only one thought occupied my mind. “Isabelle…I’m right here. Stay with me.” She stopped seizing and the nurses relaxed. “Stay with me,” I whispered.

The machines commenced their normal beeping sounds and the alarms stopped ringing. I sunk back down into my chair and one of the nurses squeezed my shoulder.

“She’s alright, sweetie. It was just a minor seizure. It happens sometimes with trauma patients.”

I stared at Isabelle and nodded.

“Your wife?” she asked kindly. 

I looked up at the older woman and shook my head. “We work together.” As if that’s all she was to me…a coworker.

The nurse, ‘Ellie’ according to her nametag, raised her eyebrows. “Never known someone to care enough to sit with their coworker in a hospital overnight.”

I gathered her meaning, but for some reason I just didn’t want to admit the truth. “We’re FBI agents, so we’re really close. Practically family,” I said instead.

She nodded and glanced over at Isabelle with a shake of her head. “The poor girl has been through a lot.” She turned her focus back to me. “Tell me you caught the man who did this.”

“He’s dead,” I said dispassionately. 

She nodded again. “Good. Now you just holler if you need anything, alright?”

“Thank you.” 

She left and I focused my attention back on Isabelle. I couldn’t help but wonder if she could hear me. Part of me hoped she could and the other part hoped she was blissfully unaware. It would be miserable and terrifying to be aware yet trapped in your body. I shook my head to clear the negative thoughts, but it wasn’t working. I decided to go back out to the waiting room to tell the team to go back to the hotel to rest. 

I stopped by the nurse’s station to tell them I’d be right back. When I got out to the waiting room, only Rossi was there. 

He saw me and jumped out of his chair. “I sent everyone back to the hotel. They were exhausted.”

“You should get some rest too.”

“Nah, I’d rather be here.”

A couple people were staring at me and I realized I was still wearing my blood stained shirt. “Why don’t you come see her? I’m getting some weird looks out here.” 

Rossi nodded. “I’d really like to see her.”

We headed back to her room and Rossi entered first. When he saw her, he brought his hand to his mouth and his eyes filled with tears. “Oh my sweet Isabelle,” he said softly. 

“I’ll give you some time alone.” I started towards the door, but Rossi shook his head. 

“It’s okay. Stay. It’s what she would want anyway.” Rossi pulled up a chair on the other side of the bed and I sat back down in mine. 

We sat in silence for a little while before Rossi said quietly, “The team knows.”

I sighed. “I’m really not surprised. The last 24 hours have been rather telling.”

“Does Isabelle know how you feel?”

Dave was one of the few people I actually felt comfortable discussing this sort of thing with, so I answered him truthfully. “I told her last night at the hotel—or I guess the night before.”

“What made you tell her?”

“I don’t wanna hide how I feel anymore. Isabelle makes life worth living. I don’t care that I’m her boss. I don’t care that I’m not supposed to feel this way. I’m in love with her and it was killing me not to tell her.”

He nodded. “Izzy and I don’t often discuss her love life, but on the few occasions when I’ve asked her if she was seeing someone, she always laughed and brushed me off. She claimed no one really appealed to her, but it was always clear to me she wasn’t being entirely honest.”

I chuckled. “I never would have thought in a million years that someone like her would go for someone like me.”

Rossi raised an eyebrow. “Can I assume the man she’s been in love with these past few years is you?”

I nodded. “How did I get to be so lucky? What makes me so deserving of love, not once, but twice?”

“You’re a good man, Aaron, and you’ve got a good heart. You deserve to be happy.”

I looked at him and gave him a small smile. “I appreciate that, Dave. I’m just not sure the brass will feel the same way.”

“Screw them. Do what makes you happy. Besides, Jack adores Isabelle. You’ve gotta think about him too.”

I smiled. “He really does love her. She’s so good with him. He asks about her all the time. Jessica says he even talks about her when they’re together. He likes to tell her about all the things he does with Isabelle.”

Rossi smiled. “That’s so sweet. Jack’s a good kid.”

“He’s the best. He really could use someone like Isabelle in his life…on a full-time basis.”

Rossi raised his eyebrows. “Full-time, huh?”

I blushed. “I haven’t exactly had time to mention that to Izzy, but I’m hoping she’ll be open to the idea.”

“You’ll have plenty of time to discuss it when she wakes up.”

I grabbed Isabelle’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I told her she didn’t have to.”

Rossi looked confused. “Didn’t have to what?”

“Wake up.” 

The confusion changed to surprise. 

“I didn’t want her to feel burdened by what I want. I want her to make the decision for herself. I know it sounds crazy, but in case she can hear me, I just wanted her to know that if she can’t fight anymore, then it’s okay to let go.”

Rossi stared at me in silence for a few seconds. “You really are a good man, Aaron Hotchner. Izzy deserves someone like you.” 

“That means a lot to me.” And I genuinely meant that. Rossi viewed Isabelle as his daughter…it’s almost like having a stamp of approval from her father.

We lapsed into a comfortable silence and I felt myself start to drift off. Within minutes, I was sound asleep upright in my chair, the beeping of the machines a soft lullaby in the background. 

**********The Next Morning

I woke up in a strange place, groggy, and disoriented. I could smell disinfectant, which only served to enhance my confusion. Then I heard the beeping of the monitors and it all came rushing back. I opened my eyes fully to see Isabelle still lying motionless on the bed. Rossi’s jacket was sitting on the back of the chair he was using, but he wasn’t there. 

“Oh dear. Did I wake you?”

I turned to see who was speaking. It was Ellie, the nurse from the night before. “No, I didn’t even hear you come in.” I yawned. 

“I just wanted to check on her before I head home.” She bustled over to the bed and started running various checks. 

“How’s she doing?” I asked tentatively.

Ellie smiled. “She made it through the night, which is a good thing. She’s quite a fighter. Her vitals look good and she appears to be stable.” She patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry, deary. I think she’s going to be just fine.”

I thanked her and she left, heading home after a long night.

Moments later, Rossi came in carrying two cups of coffee. “Morning sunshine,” he said as he handed me a cup. 

“Oh thank god,” I mumbled, taking a sip. If anything could make me feel alive, it was coffee. 

“How you holding up?” he asked as he sat down across from me.

“I’m alright. The nurse said she looks good.” 

Rossi smiled. “Isabelle’s not one to give up.”

“You don’t have to tell me that.”

Seconds later, my phone rang. I audibly sighed. “It’s Strauss.”

“I’d recommend answering that if I were you.”

I sighed again and answered the phone. “Hotchner.”

“How’s Isabelle holding up?” she asked without preamble. 

“She’s in a coma. She experienced quite a lot of trauma.”

“That’s quite unfortunate,” she paused. “I’m sorry to do this, but I need your team back here immediately. There’s an urgent case we need you on.” 

I turned pale and felt anger bubbling up. “Couldn’t you have another team do it?”

“I’m sorry, Aaron, but your team is the best. And you’ve been requested personally.”

“I can’t leave Isabelle,” I said.

“You don’t have a choice, Agent Hotchner.” 

“Look, Chief Strauss. I understand what you’re saying, but I will not leave one of my agents all alone in a hospital in a strange city. I’ll send the rest of the team. They can handle the case without me.”

I could hear the annoyance in her voice as she begrudgingly agreed. “I expect them back in DC by tonight.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said as I hung up.

Rossi eyed me quizzically.

“We’ve got a case. The team has to go.”

“You’re staying with Isabelle?”

I nodded.

“Good.” Rossi sighed. “When do we leave?”

“As soon as possible.”

“I’ll go to the hotel and get everyone. I’m sure they’ll want to see Isabelle before we go.” 

He left and I sat down again to await the team’s arrival. It wasn’t long before I heard them coming down the hall. They all filed into the room and fell quiet when they saw Isabelle. 

Garcia was the first to recover. She went to the bed and grabbed Isabelle’s hand. Tears streamed down her face. “I don’t wanna leave her.”

Morgan stood behind her and put his arm around her. “None of us do.”

The rest of the team gathered around her bed, except for Reid.

“Reid?” I said gently. 

He couldn’t even look at her and his hands were shaking. “I can’t…” he whispered.

I looked at JJ and nodded toward Reid. She moved over to him and took him by the arm. “It’s okay, Spence. You don’t have to stay in here.” She led him outside and came back in a few minutes later. “He’s still blaming himself.”

I shook my head. “It’s no more his fault than it is mine.”

“You know how he gets. He won’t listen,” she said sadly. 

“I know.”

Everyone spent some time talking to Isabelle and slowly preparing to leave. About an hour later, I escorted the team out front to say goodbye. None of them wanted to leave, but I had to put my foot down. 

“I’ll call you if anything changes, guys. So please, don’t worry.”

We said our goodbyes and I watched them drive away. I couldn’t help but wonder how long I could get away with staying here before Strauss fired me or sent someone to drag me back to DC. 

********** 2 weeks later

I rolled out of bed at 7:15am. I checked my phone and saw that I had three messages from Strauss. I groaned and pushed the play button for the first message. I heard Strauss’ agitated voice demanding that I return to DC immediately. I deleted the message without listening to the whole thing and pressed play on the next one. It was more of the same, but she was definitely pissed this time. I deleted that message as well, then listened to the final one.

“If you’re not on the next plane to DC, Agent Hotchner, I promise you’ll be working the night shift in some remote hell hole for the rest of your career,” she said before hanging up with a slam.

“Shit,” I mumbled. I’d been avoiding her calls for the last few days. I knew I couldn’t hold out forever, but I was still hoping Isabelle would wake up before I was forced to go back. It’d been the longest two weeks of my life…I was desperate to go home and see my son, but I was also terrified to leave Isabelle.

I also didn’t want to lose my job, which meant I needed to call Strauss whether I wanted to or not. I dialed her number and waited for her to pick up. 

“Chief Strauss.”

“It’s Aaron Hotchner—”

“Where the hell have you been? Have you been ignoring my calls?”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m still in Georgia. Agent Heywood is still in a coma.” 

That seemed to calm her down a bit. “I’m sorry about that, I truly am, but we need you back here. You have a unit to run.”

I sighed. “I know. And trust me, I want to come home, but I’m having a hard time leaving her.”

Strauss was silent for a moment. “Why?”

I was now faced with a choice. I could either lie to my boss or I could tell her the truth…either way, I would be facing serious consequences.

I took a deep breath and took the plunge. “Do you want me to be honest?” I asked.

“Of course.”

“Even if it’s not what you want to hear?”

She paused. “Tell me what’s going on, Aaron.”

“I…umm…I’m in love with her,” I blurted.

“Oh…” the silence drags on. I could tell she was trying to figure out what to say. A solid minute passed before she spoke again. “Does she know?”

“Yes.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“Nothing’s actually going on, but I’ve felt this way for a while.”

She sighed. “Aaron, you know the rules.”

“I’m well aware of the rules, Erin, which is why I didn’t act on my feelings. But coming this close to losing her really put things in perspective.” I thought about Haley and I’m sure she was too. 

“I shouldn’t even be entertaining this, but how does Isabelle feel?”

I blinked back tears as I recalled the look on her face when she told me she loved me. “Isabelle’s last words to me were, ‘I love you’.”

There was a long pause before Strauss responded. “If it came down to it, would you step down to be with her?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “I would do anything.”

“Then I’ll do what I can here.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me just yet. Aaron, I need you to think about this very carefully…what are you going to do if she doesn’t wake up?”

I closed my eyes. “I can’t even think about that. I—I don’t think I can live without her.”

She let out a long exhale. “Alright, I’ll deal with the higher ups. You focus on waking Isabelle up.” 

“I will,” I said before we hung up. 

~Your POV~

The lights were too damn bright…you could hardly see. You squeezed your eyes shut again and let out a soft moan. You desperately tried to remember where you were, but nothing was familiar to you. The sheets were rough, it smelled funny, and you were pretty sure you could hear beeping. 

You tried to shift your body, but sharp stabbing pains shot up your limbs. You tried opening your eyes again, much more slowly, giving them time to adjust to the light. Once they did, you looked around the room. “What the…is this a hospital?” you thought to yourself. 

You tried to sit up again, but it was much too painful. You tried to remember how you got there. Was it a car accident? You looked down at your arms, but you couldn’t see the wounds because of the bandages.

You saw a call button attached to the side of the bed and you reached out to push it. Seconds later, an older lady, a nurse you assumed, came running in. “Isabelle!” she yelled in surprise. “You’re awake!”

You tried to speak, but your throat was too dry. The nurse seemed to know this and she hurried to get you some water, which you chugged down gratefully.

“Where am I?” you asked. Your voice sounded raspy even to your own ears.

“You’re at Truman Memorial Hospital.” 

“How did I get here?”

“Do you remember anything?” she asked instead of answering your question.

“No…” you closed your eyes and forced yourself to think. “My team…we were working a case…Hotch…Hotch!” your eyes sprung open. “Where’s Hotch?”

The nurse shook her head. “Who’s Hotch, honey?”

“Aaron Hotchner. He’s an agent. He was with me in the ambulance…but I don’t remember how I got in the ambulance…”

“Oh! Aaron! Let me call him, deary. I’ll be right back.” She hurried out of the room. 

You stared at the ceiling and desperately tried to remember what happened. You could feel something pricking at the back of your mind, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. 

A few moments later, the nurse came back in. “Oh, he’s going to be so excited to see that you’re awake! He’s spent nearly every waking moment with you for the past two weeks.”

You nearly choked on your own saliva. “Two weeks?”

The nurse blushed. “Oh, yes. You’ve been in a coma for the last two weeks.”

You rubbed your temples. “My god, what the hell happened to me?”

“I think I’ll let Aaron tell you that,” she said gently. 

I was about to pressure her for answers when I heard loud footsteps running down the hall. To my surprise and happiness, the man ran right into my room…it was Hotch. His eyes were wide with worry and I could see the pure emotion on his handsome face. 

“Isabelle…” he breathed. He was looking at you like he didn’t believe you were real. 

“Hey,” you said softly as you reached out for him, beckoning him towards you.

You saw the nurse quietly back out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

You smiled at him and he tentatively touched your hand, as though he was afraid you’d disappear. “You’re awake,” he whispered.

You nodded and reached up to touch his face. The moment your skin touched his, he lit up. You could feel the joy radiating from him. In an instant, he leaned down to kiss you sweetly. You breathed in his scent and deepened the kiss. You could feel how badly he needed you and it made your heart flutter. 

“Aaron,” you whimpered.

He affectionately caressed your face and smiled at you again. “You had me worried,” he murmured. 

“I’m sorry,” you said earnestly. “Honestly, I don’t even remember how I got here—or why I’m here for that matter.”

He froze and looked at you in surprise. “You don’t remember anything?”

You shook your head.

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“You telling me that you loved me.”

His eyes widened. “Nothing after that?”

“An ambulance ride, vaguely. But nothing else.”

“You don’t remember Reid knocking on your door at the crack of dawn?”

You thought for a moment, then shook your head. “All I know is that something bad happened and I ended up in a coma for two weeks.”

He nodded. “Maybe it’s better that way.”

You looked surprised. “No, Aaron. The not-knowing is terrifying. I need to know what happened.”

“I don’t want you to relive it.”

“I have to know.”

He stared at the sheets and didn’t respond.

“Give me a cognitive interview,” you pleaded.

His head jerked up and his eyes filled with emotion. “Absolutely not.”

“You know I can do it myself. It’ll just be easier to have you with me…to walk me through it.”

“Iz…”

“Aaron, please.”

He sighed. “If at any point in time you feel like it’s too much, we’re stopping, okay?”

You nodded and closed your eyes.

“Think back to that night. You’re comfortable in bed and you hear knocking on the door.”

“I’m annoyed because it’s so early…it’s Spence.”

“What does he tell you?”

“He’s got a plan…I have to go undercover…then we tell you about it,” you grimaced. “You don’t like the plan.”

“No,” he said softly. “I did not.”

“But we do it anyway, because it’s the only way to catch the unsub.” You started to breathe heavily. Hotch leaned forward, watching you closely, concern apparent on his brow. “Senator Jacobs…he’s the unsub.” You rubbed your temple. “He…he took me. He…” Tears began to stream down your face as the memories of that night came flooding back. You remembered it all…the rape, the torture, every moment of it. 

You let out a sob and Hotch wrapped his arms around you. “Stop, Izzy. You can stop.”

You shook your head. You needed to know how this story ended. You remembered the team breaking in, you remembered Hotch begging you to stay with him, and you remembered hearing his voice, but not being able to respond. He was telling you about the moment he realized he loved you. You couldn’t see him, but you could distinctly hear his voice. You also heard him tell you that he understood if you had to go. You could feel his pain and his love as if it were your own. 

Your eyes fluttered open and you looked up at him. “Oh, Aaron…”

He brushed your hair back and looked at you lovingly.

“I heard you,” you said softly. 

He furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

“When I was in the coma…I heard you tell me that I didn’t have to stay—that you would understand if I couldn’t.”

Tears welled up in his eyes. “You heard me?”

You nodded. “You told me about the first time you realized you loved me…that kidnapping case we had in LA.”

He wrapped you in his arms and buried his face in your hair. “I can’t believe you heard that,” he whispered. 

“You were there for me the whole time.”

He pulled back to look at you. “How could I leave you?”

You smiled through the tears. “I love you, Aaron Hotchner.”

“I love you, Isabelle Heywood.” 

He kissed you and you found it hard to breathe. When the kiss ended, a horrible thought popped into your brain. “How much did you see?” you asked softly without looking at him. 

He doesn’t need you to clarify your question, but it was clear he didn’t exactly want to answer. After a few moments of silence, he said, “I saw everything from the moment he turned that camera on to the moment it stopped.”

Tears poured down your face and you fiddled with the blanket. “Everything?”

“You were in agony…you were being tortured and it was my fault. It felt like just punishment.”

Your head snapped up and you fixed him with a stern expression. “None of what happened was your fault, do you understand me? None of it.”

He was quite clearly taken aback by the intensity of your statement. “I can’t help but blame myself.”

“Well stop it, because none of you were to blame. It was all Jacobs.” You gasped loudly. “Oh my God, and Brady!”

“Brady?”

“Detective Brady! He was there! He’s the reason Jacobs knew I was FBI. Did you get him at the warehouse?”

Hotch looked extremely pale, but you could see the cold fury in his eyes. “That son of a bitch…he wasn’t there when we found you, Izzy.”

“He probably knows I was in a coma…and since Jacobs is dead, no one else knows he’s in on it. He’s probably still at the station, biding his time.”

Hotch looked furious, hands balled into fists at his sides. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number. “Captain Harris, this is Agent Hotchner.” Pause. “She’s doing well, thank you.” Another pause. “Is Detective Brady in today?”… “I’d like to meet with him.”… “No, no. It’s better if you don’t tell him I’m coming. In fact, don’t tell him you spoke to me at all.”… “Will do. Thank you Captain.”

He hung up and looked at you apologetically. “I have to go…the rest of the team is back in DC.” 

“No, Aaron.” You tried to sit up, wincing in pain. “It’s not safe for you to go by yourself.”

“You’re probably right, but there’s not exactly another option.”

“Why don’t you call the Atlanta field office and see if you can get an agent to go with you?”

“That would take too long. If he finds out you’re awake, he’s going to make a run for it…or worse.” The look on his face told you he was picturing the ‘or worse’ very vividly in his mind.

“Hey. You don’t get to go running into danger without backup just because you’re worried about me. That’s not how this works.” 

His expression softened. “I can’t just sit here and do nothing. Not when he’s out there and you’re lying in that bed.”

“Well, I’d get up if I could,” you said softly.

He winced as he came over and grabbed your hand. “That’s not what I meant. I just can’t help but worry about you, Izzy.”

“I know.” You yawned. “Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

He nodded. “I promise.”

You yawned again and he smiled. “I think you need to rest. Your body has a lot of healing to do.”

“I was asleep for two weeks.”

“That was just to catch up on all the sleep you missed because of work,” he joked.

You laughed and rolled your eyes. “It’s because my boss overworks me.”

He chuckled. “He must be an ass.”

You grinned. “I don’t know about that, but he does have a nice ass,” you teased.

He blushed, which only made you grin even more. Then the two of you burst into laughter before you yawned again. 

“Maybe you were right about that rest thing. Do you mind?”

“Of course not.” He kissed your forehead. “Get some sleep. I’m going to see if I can get an agent from the field office to come down here.”

“Good. Be safe.”

“Always.”

You closed your eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep. 

~Hotch’s POV~

I’d made a promise, but I knew I had to break it in order for her to be safe. Isabelle was all that mattered. 

I felt a twinge of guilt as I made my way to my Suburban, but I brushed it off. I got in and made my way to the police station. I knew I should have at least called Rossi and told him what I was planning, but I didn’t want to give him the opportunity to talk me out of it. 

I pulled into the parking lot and headed inside, eyes peeled for any sign of Brady. I saw him standing on the other side of the bullpen with his back to me. I started walking toward him when another officer noticed me. “Agent Hotchner?” he called out. “What are you doing back here?”

Brady turned around and saw me. His eyes widened and the color drained from his face as he turned to run out the back door. 

I wasted no time in rushing after him. “Brady stop!” I yelled, drawing my gun as I chased him out the door. 

A shot rang out and I felt the sting of a bullet graze my arm. I pulled back into the doorway, peering out slightly to see Brady running toward the parking lot next door. I dashed after him, ignoring the pain in my arm. 

I heard the sound of running feet behind me and I turned to see Captain Harris running toward me. I kept running and just prayed he was on my side…otherwise, I knew this would end badly for me.

A few yards ahead of me, Brady had started to slow down. I thanked God I was in excellent shape as I began to close the distance between us. Moments later, I sprung forward, tackling Brady to the ground. His gun flew out of his hand and he groaned in pain.

“Detective Brady, you’re under arrest for conspiracy to commit murder and obstruction of justice,” I said as I put handcuffs on him.

Captain Harris came up behind me just as I started to pull Brady off the ground. “Agent Hotchner, what’s this all about?” he demanded.

“Brady here has been working with Senator Jacobs. Not only is he your leak, but he’s also the reason my agent is in the hospital.” 

Harris paled. “Are you sure? How do you know?”

“Because Isabelle is awake.” I saw Brady’s eyes widen. “She told me herself.”

Harris closed his eyes briefly, before letting out a string of curse words. “You son of a bitch!” he yelled at Brady. “You betrayed your oath, you harmed innocent people, and you almost got a federal agent killed. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I want a lawyer,” Brady said stubbornly.

I sighed. “Yeah, I bet you do.”

The three of us made our way back inside the station. All eyes were on us as I marched Brady straight through the bullpen, into the parking lot, and into the back of my SUV. 

Captain Harris and I bid farewell and I immediately called the Atlanta field office. I made arrangements for a couple agents to come down and get him for extended questioning. Until they arrived, however, I wasn’t letting him out of my sight. 

I drove back to the hospital and dragged Brady in with me. I was halfway to Isabelle’s room when a wave of pain hit me and I remembered my arm. The adrenaline had finally worn off and it was beginning to throb. I turned back around, heading to the nurse’s station with Brady in tow.

“How can I help you?” a nurse asked me. 

“I got shot in the arm and I just need a quick patch up.”

The nurse paled and her eyebrows shot up. She eyed me warily, her gaze shooting over to Brady and back to me like she was trying to figure out what was happening.

I pulled my creds out, showing them to her, and her expression immediately changed. She led me to a small room and gestured for me to have a seat. I put Brady in the corner farthest from the door and took off my suit jacket. 

“Shirt too,” she insisted sternly. 

I gingerly removed my shirt and she stepped closer to get a good look at the wound. “It’s pretty shallow, so you’re lucky.” 

I nodded and she set to work cleaning me up, stitching the wound, and bandaging it. Ten minutes later, she patted my shoulder gently. “You’re done.”

“Thank you,” I said as I got up and started to pull my shirt back on. 

“Don’t you be putting that bloody shirt back on,” she snapped.

“I can’t just wear my under shirt,” I complained.

“Well you’re gonna have to.” She took my shirt right out of my hands and tossed it into the medical waste bin. “You’ll live,” she insisted as she walked out the door.

I sighed. “Come on,” I grumbled as I dragged Brady out of the room and towards Isabelle’s room.

I expected her to be asleep, but instead I saw she was on the phone. A nurse gently stopped me from going into the room. 

“She said it was a private call and that no one was allowed in the room,” she said softly. 

“Oh,” I said in surprise. “I’ll just wait out here then.”

Brady and I took a seat in the chairs just down the hall from Isabelle’s room. I couldn’t help but wonder who she was talking to and what was so private that she didn’t even want me to know.

~Your POV—10 minutes prior~

There was a knock on the door and a kind-faced nurse entered. “Isabelle? There’s a phone call for you.”

You furrowed your brow. “For me? But no one even knows I’m awake.”

“Actually, we received a request from your boss that she be notified immediately if you woke up. I’m assuming this is just her returning the call.”

‘She?’ you thought to yourself. Confusion lit your features, but it quickly dawned on you, ‘Strauss’. Out loud you said, “Could I take it in here, given that I can’t really move?”

The nurse laughed lightly. “Of course, dear. I’ll transfer it.” She turned to go.

“Wait.” She looked back at you. “Please make sure no one bothers me until I’m done. Even Aaron.”

She nodded. “Absolutely.”

Thirty seconds later, the bedside phone rang. You took a deep breath before answering the call. “This is Isabelle.”

“Isabelle, it’s Strauss.”

“Hello, ma’am.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I got hit by a train…twice,” you said honestly. “But I’ll heal.”

“I’m glad you’re alright.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” There was a pause and you waited for her to speak. When she didn’t, you broke the ice. “While I appreciate you calling to check up on me, I sense there’s something more.”

Strauss sighed. “Unfortunately, yes, there is. It’s about Agent Hotchner.”

You immediately tensed up. “What about him?”

“Well, for starters, he’s refused to come back to DC for the past two weeks. He even stopped taking my phone calls. When he finally answered, he informed me he wouldn’t leave you…do you know why that is?”

You had no idea that Hotch had been disobeying direct orders. That was so unlike him. You had a sinking feeling Strauss knew exactly why Aaron had refused to leave you and it wasn’t his sense of loyalty. 

You decided to feign ignorance. “I would assume it was out of a sense of duty. He’d never leave a member of his team behind.”

“No, Isabelle. That’s not why.” You could hear the annoyance in her voice. “He informed me just this morning of his feelings for you.”

You nearly dropped the phone in surprise. “I’m sorry, he did what?”

“He also told me you reciprocate those feelings.”

You closed your eyes and let out a long breath. “And?”

“Is it true?”

You knew it was pointless to lie. “Yes, ma’am. It’s true.”

Strauss sighed dramatically. “He’s your boss, you know.”

You felt annoyance creep into your voice. “I’m well aware of that, ma’am.”

“If he’s taking advantage of you—”

“It’s not like that,” you said quickly, cutting her off. “We’ve never been together. My feelings have nothing to do with him being my boss or pressuring my in any way.”

“Alright,” she said before pausing. “Do you plan on starting a relationship with him?”

You wished you could say it was none of her business, but unfortunately, it was her business. “I would like to,” you said honestly. 

She sighed. “I was hoping you wouldn’t say that. I’m sorry to have to do this Isabelle, especially after everything you’ve been through, but you and Aaron Hotchner cannot be together.”

You inhaled sharply, feeling the pressure of tears welling up in your eyes. “What?”

“It’s against policy, Isabelle. I simply can’t allow it.”

You laughed harshly. “Allow it? Who are you to decide who I can love?”

“I’m the one who has the power to ruin your career. I can transfer you to another unit. I can fire Agent Hotchner. I can end both of your careers in an instant, Agent Heywood. That’s who l am.”

Tears streamed down your face and your heart snapped in two. “Why?” you whispered.

“Having a relationship is too distracting. Either of you could get hurt. You’ll be too focused on each other and one of your teammates could be hurt—or worse. And what if you break up? Could you still work together? This is my best team and it’s my job to ensure that everything runs smoothly. I’m not going to risk jeopardizing that just so you can have a boyfriend.”

While her points were valid, she was still wrong. You just had to find the words to say to make her see that. “You’re right, it could be dangerous. We could get distracted. We might fight. We might be angry with each other at times…but he’s not ‘just a boyfriend’. I’m in love with him, Strauss. Love. Those feelings didn’t just develop overnight. I’ve spent the past three years of my life completely head-over-heels for someone I thought I could never have. But I never once acted on those feelings. I never jeopardized anyone’s safety. I never prioritized him over anyone else on the team. That team is my family. I would die for any one of them in a heartbeat. I love them as much as I love Aaron, just in a different way.”

You took a breath before continuing, “And we fight just like any other family, but we forgive each other and we come back stronger because that’s what families do. So if you think for one second that I’m going to put my family at risk just because I want a boyfriend, then you really don’t know me at all. I love Aaron with all of my soul and that kind of love doesn’t break, Chief Strauss. Ever.”

There was a long pause as Strauss took in your words. It was clear she was surprised by what you said. Finally, she spoke, “I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“That was the whole point. When I’m at work, I’m professional.”

“Can you remain that way?”

“Absolutely.”

She took a deep breath. “I am willing to allow this on a trial basis as long as you promise me one thing.”  

“Anything,” you said with a hint of desperation.

“Don’t make me regret this decision.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Because I will use my earlier threats, Agent Heywood. Do not test me.” 

“Yes ma’am. You have my word.”

“Good. Then rest up and get your ass back to DC as soon as possible…and bring Agent Hotchner with you.” 

“Yes ma’am. Will do.”

She hung up and you stared at the wall in silence, phone still in your hand. You couldn’t believe what had just happened. Somehow, you’d managed to convince Chief Strauss to let you and Aaron date…it was damn near a miracle and you couldn’t wait to tell him about it.

~Hotch’s POV~

I was starting to get a little antsy, waiting for Isabelle to finish her call. I tried to imagine who she was talking to, but I didn’t want to guess. She’d looked pretty upset earlier…

“Mr. Hotchner?” I looked up and the nurse who had told me to wait earlier was smiling at me. “You can go in now.”

“Thank you,” I said as I stood up. “Come on, Brady.”

The man grumbled, but allowed me to lead him into Isabelle’s room. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw him, but that surprise quickly faded to concern when she looked at me.

“What happened?” she demanded as she stared at my bandaged arm. “Where are your clothes?”

I told Brady to sit in the corner, then I moved closer to her bed. “It’s just a little scratch, nothing to worry about.”

She quite clearly didn’t believe me and Brady let out a cackle.

“Scratch?” he said sarcastically. “I shot you.”

Isabelle’s eyes widened again. “You did what?”

“He was chasing me. What was I supposed to do?”

Isabelle looked like she was about to tell him exactly what he could do, but I cut her off by lightly touching her arm. “I’m fine, Iz.”

Her eyes darkened. “I told you not to do anything stupid! You were supposed to wait for backup!”

I frowned. “I’m sorry, Izzy, but I couldn’t risk him getting away.”

“He could have killed you,” she hissed.

“But he didn’t.”

She glared at me. “That’s really not the point.”

“Oh would you two please shut up?” Brady interrupted. 

We both turned our glares on him and he fell silent. 

“Did you really have to bring him here?”

“Well, I couldn’t leave him at the station. I don’t know what they would have done,” I said. “There are a couple agents coming down to get him.”

She nodded, seemingly content with my response. 

“Who was that call from?” I asked innocently. 

She turned a shade paler and said, “Strauss.” 

Now it was my turn to pale. “What did she want?”

“She was just checking in to see how I was doing,” she said lightly. The tension in my body lessened significantly…at least until she added, “Oh and to tell me that you and I can’t be together.” 

I felt anger bubble under my skin. “She can’t do that,” I said harshly.

“I heard a similar reaction…but she does have the ability to ruin our careers, Aaron.”

My face hardened and I desperately tried to control my emotions. I knew Isabelle was right, but I didn’t want to lose her. Not after everything we’d been through.

I was about to say as much when she once again continued her thought. “However, I did manage to convince her to let us try it, ‘on a trial basis’. Her words, not mine.”

My jaw dropped. “How the hell did you manage that?” I asked in shock.

She shrugged. “I told her the truth,” she said simply.

I stared at her in silence, hoping she’d continue. I was dying to know exactly what she’d said. It quickly became clear that she wasn’t going to say more, so I said, “We can talk more about this when we’re alone.”

She gave me a small nod. “Have you called the team yet?” she asked softly. 

I blushed. “I…well—I sorta forgot…”

“You forgot?” she asked with eyebrows raised. 

“I was a little busy,” I said, pointing at Brady.

She rolled her eyes. She didn’t say a word, just picked up her bedside phone and dialed a number she knew by heart. “Hey, Spence,” she said softly when it was answered. 

I couldn’t hear his response, but I could imagine he was overjoyed.

She laughed lightly. “I feel fine, Derek, relax. Hey, Em!” she paused. “Yes, I’ll bring Hotch with me.” Pause. “Yeah, Dave. He’s right here.” She looked up at me with a small smile on her face. “He is a good man, I know. I’m very lucky.”

I felt warm inside as I listened to her half of the conversation. I was dying to get home and I was so glad she was coming with me. The conversation continued for a little while and I sat patiently, waiting for the team to stop throwing questions at her. 

I knew how much she loved them, and how much they loved her. They were all so worried, but instead of calling them the minute she woke up, I went after Brady. I felt slightly ashamed, but I still think it was the right call. 

I glanced over at Brady, taking note of his expression. He was watching Isabelle with a look I knew very well. I’d seen hundreds of male unsubs stare at her with the same kind of hunger that I saw on his face in that moment. The very thought of him touching her made me want to punch him in the face. 

Instead, I ignored his expression and focused on Isabelle. Even covered in bruises, healing cuts, and bandages, she was still incredibly beautiful. So much so, it was almost painful to look at her. I loved her more than I ever thought possible…and somehow she’d managed to convince Strauss that we could be together without jeopardizing the team. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what she’d said to her…

My phone started to ring and I glanced at the caller ID, but didn’t recognize the number. “Hotchner.” 

“Agent Hotchner, this is Agent Collins. I’m on my way to pick up your suspect. Where should I meet you?” 

“I’m at Truman Memorial Hospital.”

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. So’s he, unfortunately. ETA?”

He chuckled. “About 20 minutes.”

“Perfect. See you then.”

I hung up and looked over at Isabelle who was still on the phone. The team must be in-between cases or she never would have let them talk so long.

My phone rang again.

“Mr. Popular,” Brady muttered. 

My trademarked glare silenced him and I looked at the small screen, a number I recognized flashing across it. 

“Hotchner.” It was my customary greeting and I wasn’t going to change it, even for her. 

“Aaron, it’s Strauss.”

“Ma’am,” I replied.

“Have you spoken to Isabelle?” Straight to the point…not that I was surprised. 

“Briefly. She said that she’d gotten your permission to pursue a relationship.” 

“Indeed. As long as certain rules are followed and expectations met.”

“Of course. I do have to wonder though, how did she convince you?”

“She’s a very determined woman and she cares very deeply for you and for her team. I have to respect that. As for specifics, well, you’ll just have to ask her.”

“I will,” I said earnestly. Strauss sounded like she really did respect Isabelle…and that was saying something. The two of them often butted heads and there had been quite a few heated arguments broken up by me or Rossi.

“Good. Now, when are the two of you returning?”

“I’ll have to talk to her doctor. We’ll travel as soon as she’s cleared to.”

“Drive if you have to, Aaron. I’d like you back at work and apparently that’s only going to happen if Isabelle is in a hospital close-by.”

“You’re correct. I’ll get us back as soon as possible. You have my word.” 

“Good. I’ll update the director on her status. Talk soon.” She hung up without waiting for a reply. 

I shook my head. That woman really was a lot to handle. 

Isabelle seemed to be finishing up her call with the team. I smiled at her as she told them how much she loved them and promised to be home soon.

“You know she’ll never stay with someone like you,” Brady said softly beside me.

I turned to him in surprise. “Excuse me?”

He nodded towards Isabelle. “She’s not the kind of woman that would settle for the kind of life you would give her. She’s fire…and you’re water.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I growled angrily.

“It means that eventually she’ll leave you. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next year…but she will leave.” 

“How would you know what she wants or what she’ll do?”

He smiled mirthlessly. “Because I know women like her…and I know men like you. You’re damaged goods Agent Hotchner, and sooner or later, she’ll tire of trying to fix you.”

His words slammed into me like a baseball bat. It hit me repeatedly as the realization that he could be right dawned on me. My heart clenched and I dared to glance at Isabelle. She was looking at me with concern clear on her pretty features. I doubted she had overheard the exchange, but that didn’t stop her from reading my body language. She was a profiler after all.

She beckoned me to her and I reluctantly got up and went to her side. She took my hand and squeezed it. I squeezed hers back, a little harder than I’d intended to.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly.

I smiled tightly. “Of course.”

“Are you sure? You look a bit…tense.”

I laughed and it sounded fake, even to me. “I’m always tense.”

“No…not with me.” She paused. “You hide your feelings, you pretend to be fine, you act stoic…but that’s with other people. You don’t have to wear your mask with me, Aaron. No matter what you share with me, I’ll always care. I love the man beneath the mask. Nothing will ever change that.”

The fierceness in her voice took me by surprise. Hell, 90% of what she did surprised me. I started to respond, maybe even tell her what Brady had said, but I was interrupted before I could. 

“Mr. Hotchner?”  A nurse asked from the doorway. “There’s an FBI agent asking for you.”

I sighed quietly. “Tell him I’ll be right out.”

The nursed nodded and hurried off.

I turned to Brady, but Isabelle’s hand on my arm stopped me. I turned to look at her again. 

“This conversation is far from over,” she said pointedly.

I simply nodded because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to show weakness or vulnerability in front of Brady, so I stood up straight and donned my armor once more. 

“Come on, Brady. Time to meet your new best friend.”

“Aw, I thought we were best friends!” I could hear the sarcasm in his voice, but I chose to ignore him. Instead, I grabbed his arm and led him out of the room.

A tall man in a navy blue suit walked towards me and introduced himself as Agent Collins. I shook his hand and pointed to my prisoner. “Agent Collins, meet Detective Shawn Brady.”

Agent Collins raised his eyebrows. “Detective?”

“Former detective, now disgraced,” I corrected myself.

Collins nodded. “We don’t take too kindly to anyone coming after one of our own…being in law enforcement makes it so much worse. Hope you’re ready to be locked up for the rest of your life, asshole.”

Brady didn’t say a word, but I could see a twinge of fear behind his defiant stare. It brought me a small amount of pleasure and I handed him over to Agent Collins happily. I waved goodbye as Collins and Brady headed for the exit. 

“Good riddance,” I mumbled under my breath.

I turned and walked back to Isabelle’s room. She looked up at me when I entered. “He’s gone?”

I nodded.

“Good.” She patted the bed beside her. “Come sit with me so we can talk. And close the door.”

I did as she asked and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Talk to me, Aaron.”

I ran my fingers through my hair. “About what? I’m fine, Iz.”

“Don’t offend me by lying to me.”

My eyes widened in surprise. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt or upset her. I sighed and took a deep breath. “It’s just…something Brady said got me thinking.”

“Why in the world would you listen to anything that man had to say?”

“Because he was right—at least about this.”

She didn’t look convinced, but she remained silent and waited for me to continue. 

“He pointed out how incredibly different you and I are. But that’s not really what got me thinking. He said that I was damaged goods and that you would get tired of trying to fix me. He’s right—I am damaged. And you deserve better—”

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” she said harshly. “Now you listen to me, Aaron Hotchner, and you listen good because I’m only going to say this once. You are not damaged. Life has thrown incredible obstacles your way and you’ve experienced pain and loss than most people would be able to handle, but you’ve overcome it. You don’t let the past define you. You’re the kindest, bravest soul I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. You save lives for a living, Aaron. You’ve dedicated your life to helping others, in spite of what’s happened to you. You never give up, ever. You inspire me.” She paused, slightly out of breath. “You wanna know what I told Strauss?”

I nodded, too stunned to speak.

“I told her that I’ve spent the last 3 years of my life completely head-over-heels in love with a man I thought I could never have. I told her I would never do anything to jeopardize the safety of my team—my family. I would die for any one of you without a second thought. Aaron, you’re the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I love you with all my heart and soul…and that kind of love will never break.” She paused. “That’s what I told Strauss. That’s what changed her mind. So don’t you for one second think that I will ever walk away.”

I sat in silence, trying to wrap my brain around her words. What had I ever done to deserve her—let alone her love? 

I must have been quiet for too long because she spoke very softly, “Please say something.”

I looked into her eyes. “Three years?” I asked softly. It was all I could think to say.

She nodded.

“I didn’t know—I never thought—I always assumed you would never love someone like me.”

“How could I not?”

I was certain the surprise showed on my face. “What did I do to deserve you?” I whispered my earlier thought aloud.

Isabelle smiled at me. “It’s not about deserve, Aaron. I met you and I knew immediately that you weren’t like other people. Now here we are, years later, my heart is filled with love for this amazing man. Please don’t make me try to convince you that you’re worth it. You’re the most important thing in my life.” 

I smiled warmly and she smiled back. “I love you so much, Isabelle Heywood…I always will.”

“I love you too, Aaron Hotchner. Nothing is going to change that.” 

I leaned down and kissed her gently, careful not to hurt her. It dawned on me that we hadn’t really talked about what happened, but I didn’t want to think about all of that right now. I wanted to focus on the future—our future. 

~Your POV~

You smiled at him warmly when your lips separated. His eyes were filled with affection and it made your heart flutter. His dark hair was messy and he looked tired, but he was still the sexiest man you’d ever laid eyes on. 

Your eyes slowly wandered over his face and down his body, then back up again. You could see the lean muscles through his shirt and you felt the strong urge to place your hands under his shirt to feel the strong, smooth muscles of his abdomen and chest. 

You felt a warm, tingling sensation throughout your body and he seemed to sense your desire. You saw him tense up and when you looked up at him, you saw the heat in his eyes. You smiled flirtatiously and gave him a little wink. You were too weak to do much of anything else, but he didn’t seem to mind. 

“Later, I promise,” you murmured. 

He shook his head. “I can wait forever if I have to, Izzy. As long as you’re with me.”

You smiled. “I won’t make you wait forever. You might be able to handle it, but I think I would die.”

Surprise lit up his handsome face. “Really?”

“I’ve spent the past 3 years pretending I didn’t have feelings for you. I’ve had to keep my thoughts and my hands to myself for a long time. I think I can hold on a little while longer.”

He smiled and gently caressed your face. “You’re so incredibly beautiful.”

You closed your eyes and leaned into his hand. “I probably look like hell right now, judging by the way I feel.”

He shook his head. “You’re perfect.”

Your eyes widened slightly. 

“I’m serious,” he insisted. “Absolutely perfect.”

You gave him a small smile, but you didn’t say anything. You could feel the medication wearing off and the pain had been slowly intensifying. You tried not to react…you didn’t want this moment to end. 

“I can’t wait to tell Jack,” he said with a smile.

Your eyes lit up. “Jack! Oh, I miss him.” You paused. “I—I hope he’s okay with this.”

He grabbed your hand. “He adores you, Isabelle. I have no doubt he’ll be thrilled.”

You nodded. “I hope so. I just don’t want him to feel like I’m trying to replace his mother.”

Aaron shook his head. “Jack and I both know you would never try to do that, Iz.” He paused. “But since you are the closest thing he’s had to a mother since Haley died. Don’t ever feel like you’re not good at it. He’s a lucky boy and I’m an extraordinarily lucky man.” 

Your heart warmed at his words. You felt tears pressing on the backs of your eyes, so you joked to lighten the mood. “You certainly won’t feel so lucky when he’s a teenager,” you said lightly. 

Aaron laughed. “Thank god we have a while before that particular nightmare.” He gazed at you affectionately. “You’ll be an amazing mother.” This time, you couldn’t stop the tears. Aaron gently wiped them away with his thumb. “What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, smiling softly. “Nothing—I’ve just never been this happy.”

He grinned and leaned in to kiss you. When he pulled back, he bumped into your side and you winced slightly. Unfortunately, Aaron noticed and immediately examined you with a worried expression. “Are you in pain?”

“No, I’m alright,” you lied.

He narrowed his eyes. “You winced.”

You tried to move your arm to wave him off, but pain shot up your arm and you groaned involuntarily. 

“Alright, that’s it. You need pain medication,” he said as he reached for your call button. 

You tried to stop him, but you were too weak and in too much pain. 

The nurse came in and Aaron told her that you were in pain. She came over to you and gave you a shot of morphine in spite of your protests.

“There’s no need to suffer,” she said gently.

“But it makes me so tired,” you said sleepily. The morphine’s effect was almost instantaneous.

“Good,” the nurse replied. “You need your rest.”

Aaron thanked her and she left the room. You reached for his hand and he wrapped yours in his. 

“Don’t leave me,” you murmured.

“I’ll never leave you,” he whispered as he leaned down to kiss your hand.

You drifted off to sleep with his words ringing happily in your head. 

**********

Unfortunately, the happy feeling didn’t last long. The moment you fell asleep, you fell into a nightmare. Maybe ‘memory’ was a better term for it. 

You were lying on the floor, face down, and you heard movement above you. You couldn’t see anything and you had no idea where you were. It didn’t take long for you to realize you were naked. You tried to move, but your arms were restrained above your head. 

Fear gripped you and you heard a male voice right behind you. “You’re so soft, Isabelle.” 

The man’s hands slid down your back and you tensed. His breathing was heavy and you could feel his body pressed up against your own. You struggled and he laughed loudly. “It’s futile, Isabelle. You can’t escape me.”

With a grunt, then man plunged his erection inside of you and you cried out in pain. He continued thrusting, ignoring your pleas and your tears. Each thrust was more painful than the last, your blood the only lubrication he had. 

Finally the man stopped and you silently thanked God for the reprieve…

You awoke to find yourself strapped to a cold metal table. You were still naked, but you were in a lot more pain than you were before. You looked down at your body and you saw cuts on various parts of your body. You couldn’t remember how you got them or how you ended up here. 

You heard someone enter the room, but you couldn’t see anyone. Then a man spoke, “Isabelle…don’t you just look delicious?”

You shivered involuntarily and he moved into your field of vision. Surprise lit up your face as he came into focus. He was holding a knife and smiling at you. Your breath caught in your chest as you gasped, “Aaron?”

He smiled wider. “We’re going to have fun, you and I,” he said as cut into your thigh and you screamed in agony.

**********

You jolted awake, heart racing, breathing ragged. Aaron’s face was hovering over yours, concern covering his handsome features. A moment of fear gripped you and you flinched away from him before reality settled in and you realized it had been a dream. This was your Aaron, not the one from the nightmare.

“Aaron,” you gasped as you grabbed his arm.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly, brushing the hair away from your sweaty forehead.

“It was just a bad dream.”

His brow furrowed and his eyes traveled over your face. “Flashbacks?”

You closed your eyes and wished that for just one moment he couldn’t read you like a book. You sighed and looked up at him. “Worse. It was a flashback, but Jacobs wasn’t the one hurting me.”

“Who was?”

You shook your head. He didn’t need to know what you saw. “It doesn’t matter. I’m fine.”

“Izzy,” he said firmly. “You need to let it out.”

“Aaron, you don’t want to know.”

He gave you his patented glare. “Yes, I do.”

You sighed again. He was the most stubborn person you knew and it was making you crazy. So against your better judgment, you gave in to him. “You,” you whispered. “I saw you.”

His face turned white and he stepped back. “I would never hurt you.”

You reached for him and took his hand. “I know that. That’s why I said it doesn’t matter. It was a dream—it has no meaning.”

“Dreams sometimes have meaning, Isabelle. You know that. Maybe you’re subconsciously afraid of me—”

“Let me stop you right there, Dr. Freud. I’m not afraid of you, subconsciously or otherwise. Afraid of losingyou, yes, but afraid of you? Never.”

He smiled and sat down on the edge of the bed. “I’m overthinking this, aren’t I?”

You smiled back. “That’s sort of what you do.”

He laughed and it warmed your heart. “It’s just so new…I don’t want to mess it up.”

“So don’t,” you said simply. “Just be yourself…I already love that man, so you have nothing to worry about.”

He smiled. “I’ll do my best. I promise.”

“That’s all anyone can ask.” You paused. “Now how about you go find my doctor so we can see when I can go home, okay?”

He stood up. “With pleasure.” He leaned down and kissed your forehead.

You smiled up at him and he left to find the doctor. 

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch x reader #criminal minds fic #i can't live without you series

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

Cold feet

The ride home from the meeting with the wedding planner is quiet.

Too quiet.

Lan Wangji doesn't like the quiet, not anymore, not now that Wei Ying is in his life and they're finally going to unite their fates after so long of thinking it impossible.

Which is why the fact that Wei Ying hasn't said a word ever since they left the planner's office is worrisome.

"Wei Ying?"

His eyes seem distant as he looks out the passenger's seat window, watching the landscape outside as the car slows for a red light. He doesn't seem to have heard.

"Wei Ying." Lan Wangji tries again, a bit louder.

Still, no response. He reaches to hold Wei Ying's hand instead, and Wei Ying jumps slightly at the contact before he realizes who he's been pulled out of his thoughts by.

"S-sorry, sorry, Lan Zhan, I wasn't- what's up?" He tries a smile but it doesn't reach his eyes. Lan Wangji frowns, but moves his attention back to the road.

"What's going on?" He asks, his grip on the steering wheel only a bit too tight. "Are you upset?"

Wei Ying sighs, deeply, the breath leaving him as if it was made of lead and not air. "I... I don't know what to call what I'm feeling..."

Lan Wangji would lie if he said he isn't starting to panic a little bit, and so he forces himself to focus on driving, recites his movements in his head to keep it busy.

"I just..." Wei Ying starts, the words heavy in his mouth, "I just don't think we should be doing this."

Lan Wangji brakes so hard the car's safety systems almost go off. Wei Ying groans as he readjusts in his seat, the seatbelt having bitten into his skin.

"We shouldn't be doing what?"

"First off, what did you even brake for? The road's empty!"

Deflection.

"Wei Ying."

He groans, and runs a hand through his hair in frustration. "Let's just talk about this later."

"Wei Ying. Talk to me. Now."

Lan Wangji doesn't want to be right in what he's thinking Wei Ying will say. He doesn't. He wants to be wrong, dead wrong.

Wei Ying closes his eyes as he says it. "I don't want a wedding."

There it is.

Lan Wangji feels his whole body fill with horror, heartbreak, disbelief, all at once. "W-what?"

"It's- all of this is way too much and I really don't..."

He hears the lightest of sniffles and opens his eyes, confused, only to be met with the sight of Lan Wangji crying silently, two rivulets of tears falling down his face.

Realization dawns on him so quickly that he doesn't even bother to open his seatbelt as he pulls Lan Zhan into a hug.

"No, no, no, not like that, that's not what I meant at all! Oh God, please don't cry anymore!"

"What did you mean then...?" Lan Zhan mumbles, snuggled into Wei Ying's neck.

"I don't want a big, fancy wedding, that's what I meant! I know that maybe your family wants it, but-"

"Then we won't." Lan Zhan pulls away and reaches for a tissue in the glove box. "I would also rather only we invite the people we care about, and that care about us."

Wei Ying smiles for the first time in the last hour, and the smile turns into a laugh. "I really worked myself up over nothing again, didn't I? And made you cry too! How terrible of me!"

Lan Zhan feels so relieved he could almost cry again, but settles with leaving a soft kiss on Wei Ying's lips. "Mn. You need to make it up to me."

A wink. "However will I do that..."

"I have a few suggestions."

(Meanwhile, a whole line of cars is still waiting for their car to pass, honking and all. But they're too lovestruck to hear).

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #wangxian #writing attempts #inspired by me hating the thought if ever having a big wedding

[toaster-selfships]

Hihi. Feel like talkin and it's my blog so I'm gonna do what blogs are for and, well, blog!

Blah blah yip yap put this under a read more cause I type a lot.

Anyways, a while ago I saw a post and I can't entirely remember what it was about, but it talked about writing out why you put what songs in your F/Os playlists, and I thought that was a lovely idea. I was a little weary at first cause, well, my playlists for them are very long, not to mention the complex stories I have behind a lot songs, but it was a lovely thing, plus kept me distracted and gave me a place to gush. Plus bonus!! I can make little updates and stuff for when I add new songs and highlight the different numbers and. ANYWAYS.

I wanted to share a particular excerpt and a song! It's one of the ones where I wrote a tonnn about, filled the front and back of a page plus a little extra(it's a small notebook, about the size of my outstretched palm, so take that as you will). Maybe I'll post about the other songs as well :)

Going to copy word for word what I wrote in the journal about the song! The song is B.ody P.aint by A.rctic Monkeys. (Not an inappropriate song or title, I swear. I'm notorious for misunderstanding songs meanings but. Theyreartandartisupforinterpretationwhichcanbedonewhilestillrespectingthewritersintentionsofwritingthesong.) And this is from the Playlist I made about A.xlerod :3

I also talk about myself in the third person. Some stuff here is related to plot/backstory between me and A.xlerod so if it doesn't make sense that may be why😅(highly encourage asking questions if yall are curious. Or about any F/O stuff or backstory)

Also, his full name is Sir Miles A.xlerod, I refer to him by his first and last name interchangeably(I'm not sure why or how I started doing this).

------

B.ody P.aint by A.rctic M.onkeys

-"so you don't let the sun catch you crying" is just a really good line for either of them(referring to A.xlerod or Kane). But more and most importantly, "And if you're thinking of me, I'm probably thinking of you" cause that is just one of the most important lines to me ever, cause I truly believe in it. But how they just think of each other so often that they're probably always thinking of each other. Also "so predictable, I know what you're thinking" is a really nice line, I think. They are just around each other so much they just know each other that well. The longer I listen to this song, the more lyrics I keep finding that fit really well, but they keep fitting SO well I wanna write them all down! The opener of "for a master of deception and subterfuge, you've made yourself quite the bed to lie in" is a really great A.xlerod towards Kane line, cause Kane is a spy and needs to be good at that sort of stuff(I googled the word subterfuge and it makes this one billion times more fitting)((I wrote that in the journal)), and Kane has kinda made himself this bed to lie in by opening up to Miles and sparing him and being all honest and vulnerable. Also Also, "I'm watching your every move, I feel the tears coming on, it won't be long" as a Miles towards Kane line cause Miles seeing how Kane is and just kinda watching him slowly become more and more open and letting his walls down. ALSO also also "I'm keeping on my costume, callin it a writing tool" for Kane towards Miles, cause of how Kane kept on his spy suit for so long like a costume, and basically using it as a tool for when he quits being a spy and does the whole lemon thing, it was a big way of him letting Miles know how serious he was about all of this, and how the last thing he would wanna do is hurt him.

#me when im shy to talk on MY BLOG. FOR BLOGGING. ABOUT ME. screams #yes another long post. whos really surprised here #someone obliterate me for wanting to shy away from my long posts. people post entire fics on here about their selfships youre gonna be okay #i dont know if any of this is coherent. i never planned on getting to share it so its very written just in my personal lingo #self ship #selfship #selfshipping #self shipping

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Nia goes to Lena's apartment with her heart in her throat. She knew the instant Kara arrived at the Tower, tears in her eyes and reaching for Alex's reassurances, that the secret was finally out. But as Alex embraced her sister, Nia had been aware of only one thing-- that Lena would be devastated.

It might be rash to go to Lena while the discovery was still so fresh, while Lena was still likely stinging and stewing from her confrontation with Kara. But Nia did it anyway.

As soon as the door clicks shut behind her, Nia spots Lena by the wide windows that grant a view of the entire city spread out below. Though Nia has hardly snuck in, Lena doesn't turn to look at her. Instead she keeps her eyes on the window, her arms wrapped around herself.

"Lena..."

"Get out."

Lena's voice is flat and ice cold. It warns Nia against saying anything further, but her heart takes no heed.

"It wasn't my secret to tell..."

Lena scoffs. "Of course not," she drawls.

Finally she turns, and Nia almost wishes she hadn't. Lena's features are sharp and lined with fury, just burning for an outlet.

It's found one.

"And I suppose next you'll tell me that you begged her to tell me? That you refused to be her friend until she told me the truth?"

Nia's heart catches in her throat. She now knows she should have done exactly that. It seems so easy now, so simple to have withheld support from Kara and lend it to Lena-- who arguably needed it more.

But she hadn't.

"Lena, please--"

"It might not have been your secret to tell but she made it your lie to keep. And you let her. And you let ME continue thinking that she-- that ALL of you trusted me! That you all CARED!"

"We do!"

"Liar!" Lena shouts, angry tears dashing upon her cheeks. She pauses then, and her features screw up against the burgeoning sobs in her chest. "You knew! You all KNEW! I was the only one--"

She cuts herself off. Pulling back, Lena wipes her cheeks. She schools her face back into a mask of disdain, though tears continue to glitter on her lashes.

"Lena, please!" Nia coughs around her own tears. "Just let me explain--"

"You chose her heart over mine," she says finally, "and that's all I need to know." She scowls. "Now get out."

"Lena--"

"Now!"

Sensing she's reached Lena's limit, Nia doesn't dare to push any further. She swallows, then gives a faint nod.

On her way to the door, Lena speaks out one last time.

"And tell the rest of your... super friends... to keep their distance as well. Or else I won't be responsible for the consequences."

With her hand on the doorknob, Nia grinds to a halt. Anger flashes through her-- for the idea that Lena would do any of them harm. For the idea that Nia would believe she would.

In that moment, Nia gives into the cattiness that rises within her.

"We're not done," she warns.

She slams the door on her way out.

#supercorp #sister sister au #nia & lena #reveal au #the other side of the reveal #lena being mad at the rest of her friends #who never freaking apologized btw #criminal

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; The Family Jewels by Marina (Part I)

ARE YOU SATISIFIED?

"I was pulling out my hair the day I got the deal."

"Was I meant to feel happy that my life was just about to change?"

"One life pretending to be the cat who got the cream."

People like to tell you what you're gonna be."

"It's not my problem if you don't see what I see."

"I do not give a damn if you don't believe."

"It's my problem that I never am happy."

"Are you satisfied with an average life?"

"Do I need to lie to make my way in life?"

"Baby, nothing comes for free."

They say I'm a control freak driven by a greed to succeed."

"Nobody can stop me."

"I wanna pack up and run away."

"It's my business if I feel the need to smoke and drink and sway."

"It's my problem if I feel the need to hide."

"It's my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die."

"Are you satisfied with an easy ride?"

"Once you cross the line, will you be satisfied?"

"Sad inside, in this life."

"Are you satisfied?"

SHAMPAIN

"Sleep is not my friend."

"Drinking champagne to forget yesterday."

"I remember the way it ended."

"Drinking champagne made of an angel's tears and pain."

"I feel celestial."

"Elderly stars slide down the morning sky."

"Slipping away to find a place to die."

"I wonder when the night will reach its end."

"Drinking champagne meant for a wedding."

"Toast to the bride, a fairytale ending."

"Drinking champagne, a bottle to myself."

"Savour the taste of fabricated wealth."

I AM NOT A ROBOT

"You've been acting awful tough lately."

"But inside, you're just a little baby."

"It's okay to say you've got a weak spot."

"You don't always have to be on top."

"Better to be hated than loved for what you're not."

"You're vulnerable."

"You are not a robot."

"You're loveable."

"You're just trouble."

"I am not a robot."

"You've been hanging with the unloved kids."

"You never really liked and you never trusted."

"You are so magnetic."

"You don't pick up the phone when it rings."

"Don't be so pathetic."

"Can you teach me how to feel real?"

GIRLS

"Not ladylike to behave like a slime."

"Easy to be sleazy when you've got a filthy mind."

"Girls are not meant to fight dirty."

"Not gonna bend over and curtsy for you."

"Is there any possibility you'll quit gossiping about me?"

"All you say is "blah, blah"."

"I fall asleep when they speak."

"Their mothers must be proud."

"Making money off your insecurity and doubt."

"I feel I've been riding in a fast car."

"Burning dirty gas won't get you that far."

"I feel I've been riding up the wrong path."

"I'm gonna make sure I get the last laugh."

MOWGLI'S ROAD

"One life with one dream on repeat."

"I'll escape if I try hard enough."

"I must take the unforsaken road."

"I'll do as I am told."

"I don't know who I wanna be."

"You say yes to everything."

"Will that guarantee you a win?"

"Do you think you will be good enough?"

"We scooped our way into your dreams."

"Knock the knives out bloody cold."

OBSESSIONS

"Give me a cigarette."

"Last night's love affair is looking vulnerable in my bed."

"Won't you quit your crying?"

"I can't sleep."

"You are an absolute creep."

"We've got obsessions."

"I want to wipe out all the sad ideas that come to me when I am holding you."

"All you ever think about are sick ideas involving me, involving you."

"They're all the same."

"Look, just choose something quick."

"People are staring."

"A day when things are pretty bad."

"Don't let it make you feel sad."

"Can't let your cold heart be free."

"I wanna erase every nasty thought that bugs me every day of every week."

"You never told me what it was that made you strong and what it was that made you weak."

HOLLYWOOD

"American queen is the American dream."

"Why would you wanna be a Hollywood wife?"

"I don't want to end up living in a dive on Vine."

"Lady, I know why your thoughts turn grey."

"You'd do anything for a dime."

"You're looking for the golden light."

"Hollywood infected your brain."

"I've been living in a movie scene."

"Oh, my god, you look just like Shakira!"

"No, no, you're Catherine Zeta!"

"Actually, my name's (Name)."

"Your mind is just like mine."

THE OUTSIDER

"Feeling like a loser."

"Feeling like a bum."

"Sitting on the outside, observing the fun."

"Don't get on my bad side, I can work a gun."

"Hop into the backseat, baby, I'll show you some fun."

"These people are weird in here."

"They're giving me the fear."

"Just because you know my name doesn't mean you know my game."

"I'm in the wrong place."

"Is there more to lose than gain if I go on my own again?"

"People are connecting, don't know what to say."

"I'm good at protecting what they wanna take."

"I'm a fucking wild card."

"All I know is I cannot pretend."

#rp sentence starters #rp sentence meme #rp sentence prompts #sentence starters #sentence meme #sentence prompts #lyric sentence starters #lyric starters #music starters #rp meme #rp memes #rp prompts #ask meme #*mystarters #*tfj

[livsoulsecrets]

Kinnporsche characters/ships as Midnight’s lyrics

Kim Theerapanyakul as Anti-Hero

When my depression works the graveyard shift, all of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room

One day, I'll watch as you're leaving, ‘Cause you got tired of my scheming (For the last time)

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism

I'm the problem, it's me, at teatime, everybody agrees, I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

Porsche Kittisawasd as You’re on your own, kid

I didn't choose this town, I dream of getting out, there's just one who could make me stay all my days

You're on your own, kid, you always have been

The jokes weren't funny, I took the money. My friends from home don't know what to say

KimChay as Midnight Rain

My town was a wasteland, full of cages, full of fences

My boy was a montage, a slow-motion, love potion

I broke his heart 'cause he was nice. He was sunshine, I was midnight rain

He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain, he wanted a groom, I was making my own name, chasing that fame

He stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight

Vegas Theerapanyakul as Vigilante Shit

You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them

Sometimes I wonder, which one will be your last lie? They say looks can kill and I might try

I don't dress for women, I don't dress for men, lately I've been dressing for revenge

I don't start shit, but I can tell you how it ends, don’t get sad, get even

Tankhun Theerapanyakul as Bejeweled

Best believe I'm still bejeweled when I walk in the room, I can still make the whole place shimmer

And when I meet the band, they ask, "Do you have a man?", I can still say, "I don't remember"

Did all the extra credit, then got graded on a curve

Sapphire tears on my face, sadness became my whole sky

I went dancin' all night and you can try to change my mind, but you might have to wait in line, what’s a girl gonna do? A diamond's gotta shine

Kinnporsche as Sweet Nothing

Everyone's up to something, I found myself running home to your sweet nothings

Outside, they’re push and shovin', you're in the kitchen hummin', all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothin'

Industry disruptors and soul deconstructors and smooth-talking hucksters out glad-handing each other

And the voices that implore, "You should be doing more”, to you, I can admit that I’m just too soft for all of it

Vegaspete as The Great War

Flashes of the battle come back to me in a blur, all that blood shed, crimson clover

My hand was the one you reached for, all throughout the Great War

And maybe it's the past that's talking, screaming from a crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did, so I justified it

Hold you down on that icy ground, looked up at me with honor and truth, broken and blue, so I called off the troops

That was the night I nearly lost you, I really thought I lost you

There's no morning glory, it was war, it wasn't fair and we will never go back to that bloodshed

I vow I will always be yours ‘cause we survived the Great War

TayTime as High Infidelity

High infidelity, put on your records and regret me, I bent the truth too far tonight, I was dancing around, dancing around it

Your picket fence is sharp as knives

Do you really want to know where I was April 29th? Do I really have to chart the constellations in his eves?

At the house lonely, good money, I'd pay if you'd just know me

You know there's many different ways that you can kill the one you love, the slowest way is never loving them enough

Chay Kittisawasd as Would've, Could've, Should've

And the God's honest truth is that the pain was heaven

Memories feel like weapons and now that I know, I wish you'd left me wondering

And if you never saved me from boredom, I could've gone on as I was, but, Lord, you made me feel important and then you tried to erase us

God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be, the tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind, I regret you all the time

I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep, the wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign

#kim theerapanyakul #porsche kittisawasd #vegas theerapanyakul #vegaspete #kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche #kinnporsche meta #kinn theerapanyakul #chay kittisawasd #KimChay #meta #midnights taylor swift #Taylor swift lyrics #Taylor swift #tankhun theerapanyakul #TayTime

[mausguild]

✧˚ · . ❝ Naruto Lyrics with Amalee ❞

🦊 ; "Can you hear me?"

🦊 ; "I don't care if I quit feeling."

🦊 ; "I don't care if I forget."

🦊 ; "I have already sealed away the hole in my heart."

🦊 ; "It's okay if I keep hurting."

🦊 ; "I don't feel pain anymore."

🦊 ; "Stuck in my own hell, I've even lost myself."

🦊 ; "My heart is broken glass."

🦊 ; "Go follow all of your scars, tracing the pain on your heart."

🦊 ; "Do you remember that day?"

🦊 ; "All that pain it was made to protect you."

🦊 ; "You're never hurt by giving out kindness."

🦊 ; "That voice I hear it is filled with sorrow."

🦊 ; "Just like a knot undone it severs all at once my body, heart, and soul. They're no longer one."

🦊 ; "I finally realize; that sad and distant cry that I hear all the time, us none other than mine"

🦊 ; "You knew it right from the start."

🦊 ; "You knew the path that you would carve."

🦊 ; "So tell me you won't forget, that feeling burned in your chest."

🦊 ; "I know that one day, I'll obtain what I'm reaching out for."

🦊 ; "This fleeting heart, I'll set it ablaze."

🦊 ; "Thinking of you fills me with longing."

🦊 ; "How I miss you, my tears are falling."

🦊 ; "And like the fireflies in the summer, I fade away right into the flames."

🦊 ; "How could you leave me alone with only a silent kiss from your burning lips?"

🦊 ; "My dear beloved, do you see it too?"

🦊 ; "In my stormy heart I had nearly let the wind steal all of my memories."

🦊 ; "This feeling burns and it's like my whole world is spinning on in a hazy blur."

🦊 ; "My heart is singing, I wish this moment would last forever."

🦊 ; "I know that one day, we'll obtain the future we dream of."

🦊 ; "My dear beloved, don't forget the future is still ahead."

🦊 ; "You are my friend."

🦊 ; "Do you remember when we would say that we'd see it all through one day?"

🦊 ; "You are my dream."

🦊 ; "I just wanna see your smile."

🦊 ; "Thank you my friend, although I cannot pretend there's no weight that laid upon my chest that day."

🦊 ; "This lie, I can't hide it, if I tried you'd see right through it."

🦊 ; "From here on out, got my sights on one dream."

🦊 ; "Weakness always binds the strong but the strong cut down the weak."

🦊 ; "You play it cool, ya try to blend in, but the alarm bells ring."

🦊 ; "You're always so far ahead of me."

🦊 ; "You can make your own today."

🦊 ; "I can't believe that you're still human."

🦊 ; "You can't be from the same world as I."

🦊 ; "There is a weight that I hold like a heavy shield."

🦊 ; "You can laugh at me cause I don't even care."

🦊 ; "Will tomorrow bring more rain?"

🦊 ; "I don't want a future if it's one without you."

🦊 ; "Crossing that line, we saw that there'd be no going back in time."

🦊 ; "Everyone will become a silhouette."

🦊 ; "But why do we pretend we don’t care all about the things that we hold so dear?"

🦊 ; "I see that destiny is far out of our hands."

🦊 ; "And the clock can’t be stopped, these days keep rolling on."

🦊 ; "Time will always keep moving on farther out of our reach."

🦊 ; "Yeah, as time will pass I believe there are many things that we may forget."

🦊 ; "I wanna be free from all the grief here in my memory."

🦊 ; "Cherish everything that you love."

🦊 ; "And when I close my eyes, it is you that I see cause you taught me this truth."

🦊 ; "You've yet to learn what the pain from true sadness is like."

🦊 ; "When all my feelings reach you they'll no longer be mute."

🦊 ; "And so at last, you escape from your cold, broken cage."

🦊 ; "You said if you could fly you'd fly and nothing would stop you."

🦊 ; "I'll take your eager hand and take you far - far away with me."

🦊 ; "Hey, it's okay to fail."

🦊 ; "What really counts - what only counts is if you pull yourself back up!"

🦊 ; "Can you reminisce? Can you recall the last time you felt some joy at all?"

🦊 ; "The fact we're alive right here and now we take it for granted but that's how we'll find hope when we may need it most."

🦊 ; "All that we love and hold so dear could disappear one day without warning."

🦊 ; "You know the closer you get to something the tougher it is to see it."

🦊 ; "Some people may call the kindest deed an act of mere hypocrisy."

🦊 ; "But never mind those who have lost their faith you shouldn't give in to what they say."

🦊 ; "Even if it was for a selfish cause, a salvageable hypocrisy is superior to murderous honesty."

🦊 ; "Everyone tells you from time to time to never give up like a scene from a movie."

🦊 ; "They tell you to stand up for yourself as if was always that easy."

🦊 ; "There is a handful of courage in my heart that is waiting to shine on my darkest day."

🦊 ; "Let the tears fall without holding back."

🦊 ; "You're always playing it cool while you refuse to show your tears."

🦊 ; "You pray you never will lose all the things you're holding dear."

🦊 ; "We've been through the worst of it, you and I."

🦊 ; "From this moment on you don't need to hide away when you are afraid, not anymore."

🦊 ; "Always scared of believing in anything I forgot what it felt like to cry."

🦊 ; "In a world of vast horizons it's so easy to feel you're alone."

🦊 ; "Let me hear every thought and worry in your heart."

🦊 ; "That horizon we chased is drifting further away."

🦊 ; "And it's getting harder to breathe, but I'm diving in anyway."

🦊 ; "Maybe I'd be better off letting it go."

🦊 ; "Even if everybody wants to be my enemy I know that I've still got a light shining on me, though I've sunk so far beyond its reach."

🦊 ; "It is so painful here."

🦊 ; "There's a map in my mind, keeps me tossing and turning at night."

🦊 ; "Thought I was strong, but once again I was wrong to believe that I might one day be stronger than you."

🦊 ; "I can never play believe and be someone I'm not."

#ask meme #ask starters #inbox starter #rp ask meme #Naruto ask memes

[aladaylessecondblog]

Mousetrap, pt. 4 ("Gamechanger")

Author's Note: Fair amount of in-game dialogue here. almost 5,000 words.

-----------------------------------

"The spell wilt be complete three minutes hence. Speak your goodbyes."

Withers had at least been kind enough to use a sleep spell on Cald. The boy would remember nothing when the trip was made anyway, and it would be best not to disturb the poor mite.

"Protect him," Gortash said, holding the sleeping boy. "Protect him from everything, even me, if you must. Promise me that. Promise me, Tav."

"I swear it, Enver," Tav replied, stroking his stubble-covered cheek, "I told you once that nothing was more precious, and I meant it. I swear. I will protect him. By any means necessary."

One more kiss, and only at a not-so-subtle throat clearing from Withers did Tav part from Gortash.

The dark eyes that had given her so many looks over the past few years focused on her own with an expression she had only ever seen once before: painful longing.

Gortash held Cald closely for another moment more before shutting his eyes and beginning to curl inward, holding Cald close one last time. Whispering something she could not hear.

Tav nodded, and took Cald from his bare hands once her husband's grip relaxed again. It was so strange to see him like this, without his gauntlet or rings. He looked a different man entirely without his adornments.

She then turned to Withers.

The air shimmered around them, and the ground shifted even as the sky did.

"Four people shall remember, including thyself." Withers looked impassively at her. "And thou shalt face the echoes of the Dead Three."

But won't I already? Tav thought.

----------------------------

Tav quietly joined the small crowd of goblins, making sure to avoid making eye contact with the rest of the party. That burst of rage had been hard to contain, but she'd managed it. Watching the woman walk about with her head intact at all was--

"O, yes, and soundless too," Volo burst out, "For you have stolen their buzzing, Antony, and very wisely threat before you sting."

"Villains, you did not so, when your vile daggers hacked one another in the sides of Caesar," Orin went on in a dramatic tone that Tav very much begrudgingly agreed was appropriate for the line, "You showed your teeth like apes, and fawned like hounds, and bowed like bondmen, kissing Caesar's feet; whilst damned Casca, like a cur, behind--"

Her eyes crossed Tav's as she turned (why was one blue and rimmed with gold?), and after a momentary cringe and grip at her temples--went on with the rest of the line.

(A momentary pulse of her own tadpole. A laugh that turned to a scream, and then to laughing again...and blood. So much blood.)

"--struck Caesar on the neck. O you flatterers!"

" Flatterers! Now, Brutus, thank yourself. This tongue had not offended so today, if Cassius might have ruled."

There was a dramatic pause, or at least a pause which was taken as one. Orin looked, confused and fearful, at Tav.

She stepped forward and spoke Octavius's lines. "Come, come, the cause: if arguing make us sweat, the proof of it will turn to redder drops. Look, I draw a sword against conspirators; When think you that the sword goes up again?"

Tav would rather the sword go up now. Up and through, tearing the woman before her limb from limb.

"Never, till Caesar's three and thirty wounds be well avenged; or till another Caesar have added slaughter to the sword of traitors."

Slaughter indeed. After more torment of that which had been dealt to the woman before her in the past. It would not be enough to isolate Orin, steal her voice, break her will. Tav wanted nothing left to kill of this woman--

And yet from the look in Orin's eyes, was it the same woman? Or--no, it was an act. It had to be, the changeling was a practiced deceiver. This was another lie, something to bring down her defenses.

(In the back of her mind still, Ilmater's influence whispered to show mercy.)

Why? Tav thought angrily, Why should she live where my former friends died? Why should she thrive when she is the reason I lost everything?

As they approached--Orin wavered, Volo along with her, and the goblin before them looked at Tav and said, "Aw, ye broke 'em."

Then she looked back to the two.

"Back t'yer cage, both of you."

Yes...yes, a cage. That is where you belong. Tav kept her expression neutral as her eyes rested on Orin. There was no element of recognition in that face, only confusion, and perhaps fear too.

"Come along, my dear," Volo said to Orin, "If we cooperate, they shan't use their weapons."

"Maybe...I'd like it if they used their weapons..."

Orin paused, her line of sight left suddenly adrift. Her eyes glazed over, and on a reach Tav felt the urge for bloody violence that she had so often seen the woman employ before.

And then nothing.

"I'm quite sure you don't mean that," Volo said.

Orin snapped back to attention. "I was...I did it again, didn't I?"

Wordlessly, she obediently followed. It was such a strange sight, to see that face that had so often shown the world terror so meekly obey.

She is not the same woman, another part of her said, The same flesh, a different mind. And clearly she's been tadpoled.

Mercy, mercy, mercy. Ilmater's influence ran through her mind in waves. She was merciful to Gortash, who had his own atrocities, and she loved him despite them.

And, whispered another part of her, did not Orin's machinations give you the husband you loved so well in the first place? She shoved the thought back instantly. How terrible to even THINK such a thing! As if Astarion and Halsin were mere or a moment she was lost to the memory of standing there, watching that smirking face as it detailed the horrors it had put Astarion and Halsin through. How she had staked Astarion, skinned Halsin. How--

A hand at her elbow, the slight pull of which yanked her from the onrush.

"Sorry, Gale," she said, looking up suddenly, "...I've...seen that woman before. What she might be doing here is...is, I don't know."

"From what I just witnessed, you've more than seen her before."

Tav paled, and in a lower voice added the question, "What did you see?"

"Her, covered in blood. And you...despising the very sight of her." There was a pause. "Judging from the change in appearance, she must be a changeling, so I can well guess what sort of--"

"Please, say nothing more." Tav took a deep breath and decided to fudge things a little. "I know who and what she is, but...what you saw...it's only one of a number of possibilities. I get these visions now and then, but...I never know if what I see is certainly the future or not. I've seen her often enough engaged in killing that...listen, it's not important right now. We're not here for her. We're here for Halsin."

It was not difficult to see that Gale didn't quite believe her. To distract him, she reached into her bag and pulled out the ring of Color Spray.

"I was also fortunate enough to see that you would need this."

Gale gave her a slightly pained look and gave the speech he had given last time, about his need to consume magical items. She assured him it would be easy enough to keep his problem taken care of, and they proceeded forward.

I have to keep it together. I can't let an incident like that happen again, or they'll all figure it out. Strong emotion...the tadpole practically broadcasted it. I have to keep my emotions under better control. I have to--

Trinzas was up ahead, and Tav was quick to say she had an audience with the one in charge.

"Well. You ain't the first foreign type, I s'pose. Gonna 'ave to be a bit more specific though, mate. Absolute's got a few favorites around here. You 'ere to see Priestess Gut, Boss Ragzlin, or the drow?"

"The drow," Tav said quickly.

"Audience is right. She's an uppity one and no mistake, but she knows 'er business. She's in telling the warchiefs wot's wot. Next raid's gonna be a big 'un, I hear."

"Every next raid is always the big 'un." Where the joke had come from she did not know, but she moved on past and tried to ignore Priestess Gut as the party followed her. It seemed most around here had their own work to do. That was the same as it was last time, all these goblins scurrying about to get whatever they'd been tasked with done.

Good. At least one thing was certain here. She knew they'd have to rescue Volo, but that it would come with having to do so for Orin chafed. But Volo would later be valuable for a while as a merchant, so...

Deep breath.

"Let us not spend more time here than we have to," Shadowheart said.

"Oh, our dear leader will have us rescuing several goblins here, I'm sure." Astarion snarked.

Tav didn't respond.

"What about the man outside?" Cald asked. "He's not a warrior, he won't do well here. And the other woman too, but--"

"That fop?" Astarion went on. "You're right. They'll probably end up eating him, if your saintly mother doesn't get to him first."

The rest of the group said nothing.

Once more, she ignored him, and went on forward until they found Gribbo, guarding Volo and Orin, who were firmly locked in a cage.

"Don't go botherin' my pigeons! They're mine."

"And do you have plans for them?" Tav asked.

She looked past Gribbo. Orin happened to be looking up--once more she felt the tadpole stir. A new memory--Orin, her gut split open, trying to strangle someone above her. Fear. So much fear...and then confusion.

"Keep 'em safe, listen to 'em coo. 'Til I gets hungry or some such. What's it to ya?"

"Maybe I'd like one of my own."

"Then catch one on your own!"

"They look sick, you know. Weak. I don't think they'll last very long in there."

Gribbo seemed to consider it...and then said, "Take 'em for a jog, why don't you. And don't let the lads snatch 'em up. No tellin' what'll happen to 'em. And bring 'em back when they're all tuckered out. Here's the key. Pigeons all yours."

She left.

Tav opened the cage, and Volo came out first, leading Orin along behind him.

"Ha HA! Look at this, we are quite saved, my dear! I daresay the story of this drow's daring rescue of our persons will live on for aeons!"

Orin seemed to shrink back for a moment, but finally added, "Yes...thank you. I was sure they would..."

"In any case," Volo said, "Well met! I am--"

"I need no introduction to you, good sir," Tav gave a slight smile, "You are Volothamp Geddarm, realm-renowned author..."

"...auteur, and tastemaker. At your service." Volo gave an exaggerated bow. "Once I've written you into one of my books, there won't be a tavern in Faerun you can enter without receiving a hero's welcome! We mustn't tarry, but I'd hate for our friendship to end here. Please, won't you meet me, once we've both slipped the goblin yoke?"

"You and Orin both, I imagine."

Orin perked up. "Is that my name?"

"You don't remember?" Tav asked, restraining herself as best she could. "With your past one would think it would be difficult for you to lose any memory."

"Well...well, I..." Orin shook her head. "It's all very fuzzy...if it wasn't for Volo, I'd have struggled to find a way forward."

"Such a theatrical bent she has!" Volo praised, "With her shapechanging is added just that dash of--something. She is a talent the like of which I have not seen in years!"

The woman before her preened for a moment, clearly glorying in the compliment. But a dash of guilt followed.

"Perhaps I...I might journey with them now," Orin said. "Not that I am ungrateful for all your aid and company, sir, but--"

"But what, my dear?"

"But this lady seems to know who I am, and...I want to know who I was. What I was."

"Quite understandable," Volo said, "But I believe we shall meet again rather soon in any case."

"You can go to the camp my party has established, if you'd like. Perhaps this shall help you." Tav handed him a potion and when Volo looked confused, she added, "Invisibility. Only about a minute's worth, but enough to get you out safely."

Directions to the camp were then given.

"Smashing! Soon, my friend - soon we can share a flagon of something liquid and a tale of derring-do! I thank you, and I am certain my friend thanks you also."

A sip of the potion--and Volo was gone.

Tav then turned her attention back to Orin. The red outfit was nowhere in sight, neither were any weapons that she could see.

"I can help you," Orin said quickly, "Given my ability to shapeshift - you seem to know who I am, and if I have anyone looking for me, I want to know."

"You don't want that," Tav replied. She swallowed slightly. Mercy, mercy, mercy. "Unless you are as eager for blood as when I knew you before."

"She's not a vampire, that's for certain," Astarion said, "Her eyes are wrong, and...not that she has any hair, but..."

"Ch'k," Lae'zel added. "Does it matter what she is?"

"I don't know if anyone is looking for you exactly, but you're--"

"Is this the Bhaalspawn?"

It was Cald who spoke up then.

"Bhaalspawn? Me?" There was a pause, and then a repeat of that blank look from before. And then, much quieter, "That explains so much..."

"I can tell you more but not until we've taken care of the goblins. Understand? Help us out and I'll help you. Now--what sort of weapon are you going to need?"

"Daggers, if you have one," Orin replied, still in a quiet tone, "I've traveled with Volo for quite a...lengthy period, and should we find my pack, wherever they've taken it, I can reward you."

Putting a weapon in her hands...

She had to know. She couldn't risk the danger.

Tav reached forward with the tadpole, to connect with the one in Orin's head, searching for intent. She pushed forward, even when she saw the woman cringing.

There was no lie. She intended them no danger, but beneath the surface there was a definite bloodthirst...a bloodthirst, Tav realized, that Orin found frightening.

She pulled back, reeling, unsure of what more to say or do, so she went right to practicality. "Lae'zel, have we any light armor handy? A dagger?"

"I have a leather jerkin," Lae'zel replied, drawing the armor out and handing it over, "But no daggers."

Tav searched through her bags, and came up with one at last, before giving it to Orin once the armor was on.

"I'll be keeping my eyes on you," Tav said, still struggling internally.

"I mean you no harm."

I wish I could believe that. I saw it with my own mind and I still can't trust it.

"Now," Tav said, "Let us go on, and see if we can't find Halsin before the night's out."

And before I lose what's left of my mind.

------------------------------------

The answer as to why Karlach and Wyll had not been seen was given the moment they entered the worg pen room. In the other pen, where the worgs would have been, both of them sat, looking much worse for wear.

And in the other pen, as expected--

"See? It squealed!"

"Hit it again!"

"Keep yer hand steady, Three."

Three hurled another rock, and the bear gave a growl.

Tav waited and drank down a Potion of Animal Speaking. Astarion and Lae'zel both gave her questioning glances, and she gave a 'wait' gesture.

"What in the hells are you doing?" she finally spoke up.

"They're throwing rocks at it, mama," Cald said.

"We're juicing it up. The beast came in here with those robbers. Killed Dink...and Mince too. Boss's thinking of serving it to the worgs."

"And it makes funny noises!"

"Keep doing that and he'll give you a taste of your own medicine. That's the thing about bears," Tav said, walking closer to the cage. "Let me see the state he's in, then you can say whether or not you're making good progress."

She looked at the bear and before she could even open her mouth it spoke, "Stop them. Free me."

Tav took in a sharp breath.

It was like a warhammer had come crashing down on her chest--for a moment she wasn't there, in front of the cage door, she was--

None of them remember me.

Another pain.

Fear not, dear mouse. I remember you.

Tav swallowed, stood straight, forced herself back into place, and whispered, "Leave the children alive. But the rest..."

The bear growled, but gave a slight nod. It raised its head, and charged.

---------------------------------

Not until after they'd taken care of the goblins in the room did Tav feel brave enough to approach the other pen.

Orin had proved herself quite useful in the fight, with a wordless melody from her lips that rendered the goblin children asleep and then slashing the one worg and pack of goblins that followed in after the noise. She was currently busying herself healing wounds--and never had Tav found herself so confused. She supposed this must be proof of Orin's amnesia, yet--yet despite the evidence she could not turn off the paranoia.

Behind her the hyena stood happily gnawing a goblin leg bone. It was a good time to check on Wyll and Karlach. Now, in clearer light, she could see the horns.

Thank the gods.

"We really have to stop meeting like this," she said, when Wyll looked up, "You keep getting yourself in trouble and needing rescue. I thought it was you meant to save the damsels?"

"Yeah, well, we overestimated ourselves, didn't we, soldier?" Karlach asked, giving Wyll a weak punch in the shoulder. "And you...we're glad you showed up. He was sure we'd be able to slip in and get them one by one, but..."

"But...we got caught fairly quickly," Wyll gave a slight smile. "Thank you again."

Karlach looked up at Tav and for a moment hope rose--

--but then sank again.

"Thanks, really. We've been in here too long."

I should be glad she doesn't remember, Tav thought, What good would Karlach remembering do me?

She quickly cast Goodberry and handed each of them a berry. "We've got other food back at camp...but this'll fill you up fine."

The supply chest nearby held not only Orin's gear, but Karlach's and Wyll's as well, and as everyone was getting themselves sorted, Tav looked back to the two goblin children. Her plan was to keep them asleep until camp was made, and then...she would sort them, one way or another. It was something to look forward to to keep herself busy. After all, it wasn't as if she'd be spending time with anyone the night of the tiefling party, she needed SOMETHING to think about.

Besides Cald, of course, but she was hoping he'd be busy spending time with some of the tieflings his age. Perhaps he'd be a good influence on them...or they'd be a bad influence, but she was confident enough in him that he'd not take to the kind of rapscallion behavior that the little ones displayed.

"Are you seriously going to let them live?" Astarion asked suddenly, indicating the goblin children, "Those nasty little monsters will probably gut us as soon as look at us."

"Like you would have?"

"Are you going to hold that against me forever, darling?"

"They'll listen to someone stronger than them," Tav replied, "And they're children. They can be taught better."

"I understand charity as it relates to children, given who you serve," Gale was the next to speak, "But..."

"I don't need to let them have access to any weapons. Lae'zel, I'm sure you can keep them in line--"

"Excuse me."

Halsin's voice sounded off, and Tav turned as she took in and let out a deep breath.

No light of recognition. No smile. Nothing.

She expected, as she had on seeing Astarion, to feel loss, sorrow, longing, but not outright physical pain.

"I beg your pardon for the viscera. One should cherish all of nature's bounty, but goblin guts are quite far down the list." Then a pause, and he added, "You aided a bear without knowing if it would savage you? A true friend of nature - or perhaps a lunatic."

"A little of both, I suppose," Tav made a weak joke. "I am a druid but I devote myself also to the teachings of Ilmater...hence why I spared the children. They might be inclined to appreciate nature's gifts with a little of Ilmater's mercy. But...I've gone on long enough."

"I must admit," Halsin said, "I didn't expect anyone would come to my aid. Who in their right mind would infiltrate a goblin infested temple. Unless..."

A pause.

"Oak Father preserve you, child...you're infected, aren't you? The mindflayers' spawn."

Tav merely nodded. A new thought came forward, one she scrambled to clutch at. She had had the tadpole for more than a decade now. More than six years in this...time. How had it not taken her yet?

But it hadn't done anything yet, and didn't seem likely to do so either, so she continued to listen to Halsin. The others needed to hear this.

(In the back of her mind was a desperate scrabbling panic of a thought: please, remember me. But no relief would come. Halsin looked at her unknowing and no amount of telling herself 'it is better this way' would soothe the ache. She felt like a pane of glass, struck, broken, but still holding its shape from the frame.)

"But...something's different. You're aware of the monster inside you. You don't bow to the Absolute, like the True Souls do."

"We were told...that you might be able to...heal the damage, so to speak," Tav replied.

"He can?"

"I've been studying these parasites for a while now," Halsin went on, "Ever since I discovered these so called True Souls are infected with them. Someone is using very powerful magic to modify these tadpoles. They are using them to exert control over the infected."

Shadowheart, Tav saw in her peripheral vision, perked up slightly at that.

"I'm assuming you've not found any way to halt or cure these...this situation," Tav replied, "Everyone here is infected...save for my son, thank the gods."

She saw Cald, standing close by, looking up with curious eyes at Halsin. Questions burned in his eyes, unbothered by the situation around them. She had already told him, after all, what would come. Or maybe he was simply in awe of the man due to his height.

"I can't undo that magic, which means I can't cure you. But that doesn't mean I can't help. I didn't find what I came here for - a way to remove the tadpoles - but I found the next best thing. I found out where they come from. That must be where there their enchantments are placed on them, and it's where you'll find your cure."

Halsin went on to explain about Moonrise Towers, and offered to go with them - but insisted that matters with the goblins and at the Grove be settled first.

"Of course," Tav said, "I went there first, but...it didn't go well. Kagha set her snake on a child for stealing the idol of Silvanus, but I understand a childish fear may drive one to do things they wouldn't normally...and the little one would have died had I not been there to save her."

Halsin's fury rose immediately. "A child--a child. I trusted Kagha, and she spills the blood of an innocent--"

"She was more interested in keeping the so called undesirables than she was about--" Tav took a deep breath. "We need to hurry and finish off the goblins now we have you out and...relatively safe. Unless you need something to eat, in which case--"

"I can create my own food, if need be...I suppose I could eat goblin, but...that flesh is less sweet than other game I could sink my teeth into. I imagine any food you've laid hands on would serve you better. I wouldn't dream of taking from a mother if I can avoid it."

"It's no hardship--"

Protests from Lae'zel came about the idea of going to Moonrise Towers, from Astarion about yet more helpless folk to free...

"Well, I'll be happy to lend a hand, however I can," Wyll said, "Twice now you've saved me, that's a debt I mean to repay."

"And me, if the story the famous Blade of Frontiers has told is true. I wouldn't have my head right now if it weren't for you." Karlach gave a grin, and hefted her axe up and onto her shoulders. "I'm glad to have another shot...something good to fight for. And given this situation with the goblins--"

Tav took several shaky breaths. "I want to spare any children we might find, unless they give us no other option. The adults...I am certain will not."

Lae'zel, strangely, was the only one not to protest this time. Orin, noting everyone's tiredness, began to sing--a tune of swashbuckling and romance--and then, suddenly, they all felt better.

"A...a talent of mine," she said, when given a confused set of looks. "Volo says a true bard can accomplish feats of magic with an instrument...but the only one I need is my voice."

"I imagine that will be quite useful to us, considering," Gale said, "Bhaalspawn or not, the weave--"

Tav started to say that if she didn't stop him now he'd go on about the weave all night. But she knew if she did, he'd start wondering...suspecting. They all would.

She moved away from the group, and toward the door.

So much to keep track of, so many of them to guide. And with her foreknowledge Tav felt all the weight of it on her shoulders.

I would be happy to lift it for you, came Raphael's voice.

She ignored it, but that did not stop the hallucination--for clearly, that was what it was--from going on.

Let yourself be relieved of this burden you bear, mouse...

Deep breath.

"We should get moving," Karlach said, "Hit 'em while they still think you're their allies."

"The lesser ones will probably be easy," Tav said, "But the leaders--we should get the drow first."

Mercy

Why this one? I spared Orin. Why should I spare the leader of the whole lot? Presumably someone who--

Mercy

Orin she didn't want hanging around anyway, but begrudgingly Tav was realizing she'd have to tolerate the woman's presence. But the drow? What use could she be? She shoved the thought aside, and kept them moving forward.

Quickly, quietly, they took down several enemies, managed to avoid an alarm being raised or anyone running for help, as she'd feared might happen when they finished off the group in the worg pen room.

She'd dropped into a crouch to peer around the corner at the drow, when suddenly, she tripped and fell forward. Scrambling to her feet, Tav reached for her weapon the second she noticed the drow woman's eyes on her.

"We--we were told to see you--" she stumbled in voice for a moment, and fully intended to tell the group to hurry forward and finish the woman and her little goblin friend off. But something stopped her. Her hand refused to raise the sword, to strike.

The drow walked forward, eyes wide, voice almost shaking.

"Zes'diira," came the hushed tone, "It is you."

"I'm sorry, who?" Tav asked. "Who do you mean?"

The look that crossed the drow's face then was one Tav had made many times in the past six years.

One of heartbreak.

--------------------

Author's Note: Minthara is not the person Withers means, this is something else.

#surface pressure is tavs theme song rn fr fr #so much is going on #i had to work on it a bit and im still not entirely satisfied #gortash #past gortav #past gortash x tav #tav #orin the red #volothamp geddarm #goblins #bg3 #withers #halsin #bg3 orin #minthara #memory #bg3 drow #baldurs gate #baldurs gate 3 #fanfiction #bg3 fanfic #bg3 fanfiction

[sleepingshadowknight667]

Lady D and Cassandra angst

"CASSANDRA! COME HERE, NOW." 

Within seconds, her middle child was standing at the bottom of the stairs and looking up at her expectantly.

"Where are your sisters?"

Alcina watched as confusion slipped onto her daughter's face.

"I…are they not hiding somewhere in the house?"

"No. They're not." She didn't miss Cassandra's split second of wide eyed panic. "So, where are they?"

"Out? I'm not certain. I haven't seen them since this morning and I-"

"Enough games, Cassandra," Alcina growled out, done with her daughter's poor attempt to cover her tracks. "You've been distracted as of late and I won't tolerate it any longer. Your grades are dropping and now you can't even pay attention to simple things such as the whereabouts of your sisters." 

"If it was such a concern then why didn't you keep a better eye on them?" 

Cassandra's eyes widened in fear as she realized what she said while Alcina narrowed her eyes.

"Excuse me? Cassandra, you dare talk back to me?"

Cassandra shook her head and shrunk back.

"I'm sorry for the wrong intention. I only meant to question why I wasn't alerted to the fact it would be important to keep track of my sisters if they were within your line of sight."

Alcina briefly wondered if her child had hit her head during one of her games the other night but the anger with her daughter quickly shoved that thought to the back of her mind.

"Questioning me, keeping secrets, simple distractions holding your attention," she scoffed. "I raised you better than this. You're my daughter, Cassandra, I expect you to act like it!"

Cassandra let out a soft scoff and mumbled something her mother couldn't hear.

"Something to say?" Alcina raised an eyebrow.

"No, Mother," Cassandra glanced away.

"You, obviously do. Go ahead and say it, Cassandra."

"It's nothing, Mother, I swear."

Alcina nearly scoffed. As if she wouldn't know that Cassandra was lying to her.

But fine, if Cassandra wanted to lie, Alcina had no issue calling her daughter out on it.

"Oh, so we're lying now."

"I'm not lying!"

"Well, you're obviously not okay considering you're attempting to lie to my face-"

"I'm not!" Cassandra practically threw her arms into the air, clearly exasperated with the conversation.

"Cassandra-"

"Everything is fine!" Cassandra broke, finally letting her anger take over. "I'm fine!"

"Watch your tone with me, Cassandra," Alcina scolded and she knew something was wrong when her daughter responded with a scoff.

"Of course, Mother," her middle daughter spoke the last word with a certain edge to the tone that she didn't like.

"You're valid to your emotions," Alcina tried to start again incase she accidentally gave Cassandra the wrong impression about talking to her if it came to emotions. "However-"

"Yes, yes, I know," Cassandra responded dryly and Alcina swore her daughter's voice wavered.

"Cassandra," Alcina questioned, her anger quickly morphing into caution as her daughter continued her rant.

"It only matters how obedient I am to you," Cassandra flapped her left hand absent-mindedly and Alcina's concern grew as her daughter's voice shook. "Because of course, that's the only thing that matters."

Alcina took a deep breath. Teenage rebellion was common for girls of Cassandra's age.

Clearly, it was not the case considering her daughter's movements became more dramatic with her arms failing about as she began to break down.

"But why should it?" Cassandra chuckled humorously and Alcina could easily see the walls her daughter had built up were now all crumbling down at once. "Why is that the only thing that matters?"

"Cassandra," Alcina made her way down the stairs in attempt to comfort her daughter but Cassandra only stepped back and shook her head.

"Of course I am distracted, Mother," Cassandra scoffed bitterly but the tears in her eyes betrayed her. "I am keeping secrets."

"Alright." Alcina softened her voice to help calm her daughter and Cassandra had blinked in surprise at the reaction. "Then let's sit down and talk about it. It's clearly destroying you and, for some reason, you didn't feel comfortable coming to me about it. However, the longer you-"

"No," Cassandra cut her off with her voice hard even though she hung her head and turned it so she couldn't look at her mother.

"No?" Alcina repeated and closed the distance between herself and her daughter by resting a hand on her shoulder. "Cassandra, we need to talk about this."

Cassandra shoved the hand off her shoulder harshly.

"No." There was that hard tone again and Alcina knew her daughter's anger was returning. "We don't."

"Yes, we do. I've told Bela this already but-"

"Stop it!" Cassandra screamed as she stepped back and out of her mother’s reach. "Stop comparing me to Bela."

Alcina's concern only raised at the teary glare in her direction.

Cassandra's emotional outburst were common, yes, but not like this. Lately, she seemed to take everything as a threat.

"I am not comparing you to Bela. That was not my intention, I apologize," Alcina said slowly. "I just wanted to give you the advice that I gave to her."

"I don't need it," Cassandra scoffed again, and the walls were starting to repair themselves.

"Cassandra, please," Alcina reached out to her daughter that was so clearly hurting. "I just want to help you. I am your mother-"

Those were the last words needed to send Cassandra fully over the edge as she failed to stop her own before they slipped out.

"BUT YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!" 

///

This is a discontinued unfinished wip from a modern au where the Dimitrescu sisters were raised as infants by Alcina after she adopted them and a teenaged Cassandra, trying to find her medical records for some reason, accidentally stumbles upon her adoption papers. And just...didn't tell anyone else that she found them.

#cassandra dimitrescu #alcina demitriscu #lady dimitrescu #resident evil village #re 8 village #delete later