#the kid didn’t need more trauma Kenny

[empressofthesunwriter]

Friendly Faces Everywhere

Codename Dovahkiin Part 2

Now that the Stick of Truth RPG is over it's time for N.K. to face the normal everyday life of South Park.

She should have known nothing in South Park is ever normal!

Day to day the craziness of this supposed quiet little mountain town she has to combat now.

Thank god, she has Tammy, Wendy, her boys, and her Social Media/Magical Girl Powers on her side.

This gonna be a wild ride!

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Chapter 1: Photoshops sucks!

I hated the episode in Canon so much, maybe that’s why I couldn’t write more than what you will read now.

I just wanted to have it done in give it the conclusion it should have gotten.

You will see what I mean.

Hopefully, the next chapter will be better.

Happy reading, my loves.

Since I began school in South Park all had been calm and, dare I say it normal.

After what I experienced last week with the whole Stick of Truth RPG I’m really…surprised.

Don’t get me wrong.

I lived through some traumatic shit, but it’s fascinating how all in South Park just got over that Nazi Zombie nearly eat them and a secret government organization wanted to blow us all up.

As Tammy said, they are used to it.

Will I one day be used to it too so that it doesn’t matter to me anymore? I would like to live this day.

My therapy bill is already high enough.

No more traumas, please.

Or at least make me indifferent to them.

“What do you think, you got on our math test?”, ask me, Tammy.

She is standing with me by my locker, as I get the Math book, we need for our next lesson.

Sadly our lockers are not even close to each other. Would be too convenient if we were also locker neighbors.

Deadpanning I put the Math book in my pink backpack.

“A great disappointment. Math is so stupid. Like we will need this shit in real life. For what purpose do calculators exist?”

“You say it sis.”

“Big sis!”, cries the familiar voice of Leo.

I turn in time and catch the crying boy.

“Leo?”, I rub his back soothing. “Are you hurt? Do I need to kick someone in the balls?”

“What’s wrong, Butters?”, ask him Tammy also worried.

Leo sniffles, holding into me like I’m his only anchor in the world.

Who fucked up my baby bro so bad?!

They will pay!

“W-Wendy.”

“What’s with Wendy?”

“S-She s-said m-my g-g-girlfriend is a-a-a h-h-hobbit!”, he lets out a loud wail.

I shush him softly, while Tammy and I look confused at each other. None of us even know that Leo has a girlfriend.

“Now, now Leo. You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend, was she with you when Wendy said that?”

Leo gulps and dries with one hand his tears.

“W-Well she said it to a picture of her. It’s Kim Kardashian.”

…What?

I let go of Leo.

“Little Bro explain please from the beginning.”

And he does.

Apparently, Lisa Burger, a little chubby girl, asked him out on a date and he said no. This is his right if he doesn’t want to date her, but he said to the poor girl’s face he doesn’t want to because she is fat. Wendy heard about that and confronted him. So Leo told her he likes women like Kim Kardashian and Wendy explained to him that people like Kim Kardashian photoshop their photos and she actually looks like a hobbit in real life.

He came then running to me because I promised him I would help him against bullies and Wendy has been a big ol’ meanie to Kim Kardashian.

Speechless Tammy and I stare at him.

Is he actually serious?

“W-Will you talk to Wendy, big sis? She was so mean!”

He is!

So I do what I never thought I would need to do with Leo.

I flick his forehead.

The younger boy whines confused, rubbing his hurting spot.

“Leopold Stotch, I’m very disappointed in you!”, I begin my lecture. “Not only did you say to a poor girl in her face she is fat, you also rather take a fantasy than someone real. Wendy is right! Kim Kardashian uses Photoshop, she doesn’t look like this perfect in real life. Also, she had a bunch of plastic surgery! There is nothing natural anymore about that woman. How can you be so vain? Would you like it if some girl you like told you she doesn’t want to date you because you have this huge and ugly scar on your left eye and she rather wants Zac Efron?!”

Tammy nods in agreement and Leo looks at me like I destroyed his world.

Good, he needs a wake-up call.

Better from me than from someone else.

The school bell sounds, meaning it’s time for our next lesson.

“I want you to think long and hard about all this and that you say sorry to Lisa Berger. Do I make myself clear?”

I don’t wait for an answer, since our Math teacher is a huge dick if we are not punctually at his lesson, take Tammy’s hand and go to our classroom.

At least Tammy and I sit beside each so we can whisper, while we should solve Math problems.

Math can suck my dick.

“Can you actually believe, Leo?! I thought he was better than that.”, I whisper to Tammy.

“All straight men are the same.”, she signs. “They want this perfect body, but we should lower our standers.”

“Sis, did I tell you I’m so proud of you? You are becoming a real feminist.”

“Thanks to your lessons.”

There is a knock on our door and Mr. Taylor calls for the person to come in.

It’s Mr. Mackey.

Huh?

Wonder what he wants.

“Hello, Patrick, mkay. Can Novella-Karin come with me for a sec? Mkay.”

“Campo, you heard Mr. Mackey, go with him.”

Surprised I follow Mr. Mackey to the school counselor’s room. Ah yes, I remember it. Here was the gold key to the Cafeteria.

My surprise gets bigger as I see Leo already in the room, still crying.

…Why do I get this bad feeling in my stomach.

“Mr. Mackey, what’s wrong?”, I ask him.

“Novella-Karin-“

“-N.K. is totally okay Mr. Mackey-“

“N.K., mkay. Please sit down. We will talk when the other person joins us. mkay.”

I do as I’m told and mouth to Leo what is going on, yet he refuses even to look at me.

Yeah, the bad feeling gets worse.

I hear how the door opens.

“Uh, take a seat, Wendy. I guess some mean things were said and I need to get to the bottom of it.”

Wendy and I stare at each other.

Since the Battle of the Dark Fortress of Clyde, we haven’t seen or talked with each other.

“What is she doing here?”, we both ask at the same time.

“Girls, please. I will explain, mkay.”

Confused Wendy takes a sit too and notices Leo.

“Oh, good. Lisa Berger told on you? Good!”

“Uh no, Wendy.”, corrects Mr. Mackey. “Apparently, you called Butters' girlfriend a hobbit. Then when he went to you N.K. to be consoled, you agreed with Wendy and even said that she had plastic surgery.”

My chin meets the floor.

Leo fucking sold me out to Mackey? For the Kardashian?

I say what, what the fuck?!

“Are you serious?”, says Wendy in the same disbelieve I am feeling.

“You did! You said Kim was short, fat, and hairy with big feet and she's a hobbit!”, yells Leo. “And my own big sister agrees with you and said she even had plastic surgery!”

“Because it’s true?!”, I shout throwing my hands in the air. “I can’t even believe that we have this conversation right now!”

“Also that's not his girlfriend! It's Kim Kardashian!”, adds Wendy.

“Uh, but, but, Wendy, N.K. Kim Kardashian is considered to be extremely beautiful, mkay?”

“Right, but she's not in real life. She's a hobbit.”, argues Wendy.

I can’t help but snort.

“Hah! I know like 100 people in real life who are way hotter than Miss Fake-Tits. I like natural tits on my woman more than these fake hard ballons.”

“Oh, Wendy said it again! And N.K. is calling her fake again!”

“Leo, I will flick your forehead harder, next time, maybe then your synapses will actually work probably and you don’t pull and think shit like this!”

“Now, now N.K. I won’t tolerate any threat of physical harm, mkay?”

“It’s just a flick. Any other boy would taste my fists.”

“Can’t you just hit him? Maybe it will do him good.”

“Enough, girls!”

Mr. Mackey hits them with a fist on the table.

I can see how Wendy frowns like me.

“Now, Wendy and N.K. Kim might be, uh, full-figured, and had some operations but a woman's outward appearance isn't all that matters, mkay?! Have you stopped to consider that maybe, just maybe, you're jel?”

Okay, I can’t help it I laugh so hard and loud that I nearly fall from my chair.

“Me? Jealouys? Hahahahahah! That’s the best joke over! I know I’m a hot piece of ass in my age group and I fucking love the way I look. Hahahahaha! Me jealous of someone so fake like Kim Kardashian? Oh my god, I can’t! Hahahahahahaha!”

I wipe away my laughing tears, while all stare at me.

“What?”, I wonder. “Never meet a pre-teen with sane self-love? Oh sorry right of course not because the damn patriarchy wants us to be insecure about anything so we don’t rise up against it as we should be.”

“Mmkay…”

“Big sis…”

“I’m with N.K. I'm not "jel", and I happen to be the biggest feminist at this school! Or the second one as it seems. You are like a real-life Amazone.”, compliments me, Wendy.

I side-eye her.

“You could learn some more things about Feminism, young Padawan. The girl I met last week, hunted down, as you said, a two-faced manipulative bitch and didn’t want to be labeled as slut if she was seen at Unplanned Parenthood.”

At least she blushes in shame, playing with her fingers.

Mr. Mackey is back on track after my declaration made him probably regret having me here: “Uh that may be true, but there is a very fine line, Wendy, between being a feminist and being a hater, mkay? And you're gonna have to find that line because nobody likes a girl who's jelly!”

“Why aren’t you saying this to N.K. too?”

“Believe me Wendy someone who laughs like that and says what she said so death seriously, isn’t jelly. That’s the epitome of self-confidence.”

“Wasn’t always this way.”, I need to tell Wendy this. Hey, if I can turn another girl into a real Feminist then we can overthrow the patriarchy. “I worked years on it and did some stupid shit too. But since I’m Bi I found a lot of amazing friends in the LGBTQ+ community who helped find me and love me for who I am.”

Wendy nods slowly, but in aww.

“Are we done here, Mr. Mackey? I need to return to Math class, we are getting back our test soon.”

“…. All right, go along kids, but think about my words, mkay.”

Yeah, like I will actually do this.

Tzz.

The school day is finally over and Tammy and I make our way home.

I have my Math test in my hand, glaring at it.

“If you keep staring, you might set it on fire.”, sasses Tammy.

“That stupid D needs to burn like the Dick it is!”, I counter.

“N.K., Tammy, wait!”, calls for us Wendy.

Surprised we stop and wait that the younger girl reaches us.

“Hello Wendy, what’s up?”, greets Tammy.

“I just want to say…N.K. you were really cool earlier at Mackey office. You have so much self-confidence it’s admiring.”

“Like I said worked hard on it.”, I repeat.

She nods, seeming a bit nervous.

Mmh, I think I know what she wants.

I give Tammy a look and she nods. She understood too.

“Wanna hang out with us Wendy?”, I ask her. “We can do homework together and after that watch a movie.”

The black-haired girl smiles brightly like the sun.

“Oh, that would be wonderful.”

So we three make our way to my home.

“…And that’s why Boruto sucks ass and anyone who says otherwise can suck my dick!”, I end my rant.

I’m sitting with Tammy and Wendy in my room. We had a really fun afternoon.

Together we helped each other with homework and then we just started talking.

Since I have so much anime merchandise in my room Wendy got curious. I explained what anime they were, what the story is, and all that.

Somehow we ended up talking about Boruto, this underserving sequel to the masterpiece of Naruto.

“Sis, but Himawari is queen.”, reminds Tammy.

“Himawari is the only light in whatever Boruto is.”, I agree.

Wendy is holding the only copy of Boruto I have in her hands, looking trough it.

“From what you told me about Naruto it didn’t handle a lot of things god either, but a 13-year-old girl dressed like this…what’s her name again?”

“Sarada.”

“Sarada, right. Is really not okay. They turn a child into a sex fantasy.”

“Reminds me when this whole Stupid Spoiled Whore bullshit that Paris Hilton had started.”, I tell them. “God! I hated it so much. I’m all for women can wear what they want, but little girls should be little girls and not sex symbols. Also, men should be banned forever from designing woman character and their clothes because they will ALWAYS sex it up somehow.”

“And if the Bi girl who read Yuri says this, then it’s legit.”, can’t Tammy help herself.

“Hey! That’s my internal battle the feminist and the thirsty hoe inside me!”

“Is it really so hard?”, wonders Wendy.

I nod.

“Well yeah, one part of me is always like damn, naked woman or sexy skinny clothes me like, but the other screams in outrage.”

We discuss this hours later, till it’s time that Wendy and Tammy to go home.

It’s nice that Wendy has become our friend. I have a feeling with the right example she will be an awesome feminist and don’t fall into the patriarchy mindset she had going on during the Stick of Truth.

I go to bed with a satisfied smile.

My school day was going pretty boring till Wendy catches me at lunchtime.

“Hold on a minute. You are saying you wanted to show Leo how Photoshop works on the girl he didn’t want, that backfired so hard, that he send her Photoshop photo to everyone in school, and wanted to date her, but Clyde is going out now with her. Then you get sent again to Mackey office because you tried to explain to Stan and Jimmy that the photo is just a fake and the real deal doesn’t look like this.”, I repeat what she told me.

Tammy can just roll her eyes.

“That’s South Park for you sis, it always goes a fucked up way.”

“N.K., what should I do? I mean, can we do something about this? This can’t escalate.”, declares Wendy.

I rub my head, thinking.

“For now you have your cheer performance I will think of something.”

The cheer performance of the fourth graders is an eye-opener. I just sit there with Tammy not believing what I see. This Lisa Berger or more her Fake-Photo is the newest hot shit that she even gives out autographs.

But it gets better as Wendy tells me later that her friends wanted her to Photoshop their photos too. Of course, she didn’t do it!

Didn’t stop that next day at school it’s swarmed with photoshopped pictures of nearly all girls.

And all the boys, even my two crushes, act like the horny horndogs they are.

Tammy holds me back before I started swinging. She said that wouldn’t help our situation and we better talk with Wendy.

Well, we found her with Stan, yelling at him for his imperfection and then randomly pointing them out on other people.

No surprise she got sent to Mr. Mackey again.

We catch her after school.

She looks ready to go to war.

I ask her what she is planning. Wendy wants to go to the news and try to get Photoshop photos to be marked as what they are fake.

I have a bad feeling about that.

So I tell her to wait till I come up with a plan, but Wendy isn’t ready to stop.

Tammy and I can only watch how in the Morning News Wendy gets labeled as a hater and not taken seriously.

Okay, this has to end now!

I never thought I would use my powers for this…but what use have them if I don’t use them for the good?

Tammy and I catch Wendy the next day in the computer lab, ready to edit her photo.

“Wendy, don’t do it!”, I shout. “Stop!”

“Why? Why should I stop?”, she cries. “I thought you would help me, but I fought all alone and now I can’t anymore.”

“That’s not true Wendy. Me and N.K. worked on something.”, disagrees Tammy.

Wendy wipes away a tear.

“Oh really on what?”

“Didn’t you check Twitter, do it now.”

Confused she does as I say. Her chin meets the floor as she sees it.

“W-What is this?!”

“This is #NaturelBeauty and #DownWithPhotoshop.”, I explain. “I made beside my Facebook profile, Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, Tumblr, and TikTok accounts just to spread this message. I’m totally using my powers for this, but it’s for a good cause.”

In disbelief, Wendy sees the growing number of retweets.

“Over 3 billion retweets already and all countries in the world want to actually make a law that will label Photoshops photos as what they are? Fake?”

Slowly she turns around and looks at me with wide eyes.

“What kind of power do you possess N.K.? This…this is unbelievable! You changed the mind of people with two hashtags.”

I can’t help but flex a little. I put on some cool shades, get my phone out and show her how many followers I have on social media.

“It’s a social media power. I make friends and followers faster than anyone else on Earth. So I used it to spread our right agenda.”

“Come and look at this Wendy!”, says Tammy waving her over.

We three step out of the Computer Lab.

All around as kids and teachers talk about my two Hashtags, how woke and progressive they are. That they agree with the message of it.

They celebrate their imperfection.

The Photoshop photos get deleted or ripped apart.

Wendy is now full-on crying.

But these are tears of joy.

She formally jumps into my arms.

“Thank you!”, she cries hard. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

I hug her back and Tammy joins our hug.

I have a feeling this is the start of a fantastic girl trio!

Next

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#southparkfanfiction #southpark #new kid sp #dovahkiin #stick of truth #SP FanFic: Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1 #douchbag #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #k2 #polyamarous #SP FanFic: Codename: Dovahkiin Part 2

[dedicateyourmemes]

Kenny Ackerman’s guide to parenting:

Step 1: give child a knife

Step 2: there is no step 2

#kenny ackerman #ermeme smith #the kid didn’t need more trauma Kenny #attack on titan #aot #shingeki no kyojin #snk

[hwascripts]

Masterlist

WC: Unknown

TW: Cursing, a little angst, mentions of trauma (Levi’s trauma), potential spoilers??? vague mention of Levi having a panic attack, mentions of death

Levi asking you to be his significant other headcanons

What you need in order to be his S/O

-First things first, if you want to be his significant other then you need to be tough, thick skinned, stern, independent, a clean person and incredibly strong willed. Levi doesn’t have the time to take care of you 24/7 

-However that’s not to say he won’t take care of you when you need to be taken care of, just don’t expect him to rush to your beck and call every time you’re in distress.

- You also need to know how to keep your emotions in check because if it’s one thing Levi is damn terrible at- it’s dealing with emotions. I mean- he grew up in the underground and had to harden his heart just to survive down there. I’m not saying he doesn’t care about your feelings, he’s just not the greatest at comforting you when you’re upset because comfort is something he hasn’t felt in a long time. Of course he’ll try his best to make you feel better but don’t expect heartfelt words from his mouth because he shows his love through touch and small acts of kindness.

- You would also need to be friends with him for a long time. I’m talking since Kenny abandoned him type long. I only see him getting together with someone he’s known since childhood or when he first entered the survey corps. Realistically after 10 years of being in the military and seeing so many of his friends die terrible deaths, I don’t picture him opening up emotionally to someone he’s only known for a short period of time.

-I also picture him being really reluctant to ask you to be his S/O because in his world you never know when you’re gonna die. But he goes for it because he realizes if he’s gonna die, he wants to die knowing he spent his life with you.

-Now onto the good stuff!

How he asks you

-Sorry to burst your bubble kids but Levi is the furthest thing from “candle lit dinner on the beach underneath the full moon” he’s closer to “hey we almost died and because of that I’m finally telling you how I feel”

-I imagine it being late at night while everyone else is asleep, you and Levi being the only two captains awake and he walks into the “Captains only meeting room” just a few minutes after you do

-He’d give you a  little hum of acknowledgement and walk over to the back counter where you’re making your favourite tea and just scrunch up your face when he sees what type of tea is brewing

“Really? Peppermint tea? God I don’t know how you drink this shit”

- All you do is roll your eyes as you stir a spoonful of sugar into your cup

“Sorry that some people don’t like black tea, your highness”

-He just let’s out a slightly amused “tch” at the mocking name

-He’ll just watch you for a little as you bustle around the room with quiet footsteps, his eyes following your movements like a hawk.

“What? do I got something on my face?”

-Shit- you caught him looking. He just scoffs and joins you at the table

-”How are your wounds?” he makes light conversation with you to try and distract himself from his sweaty palms. Levi is slowly unraveling before you and he hope’s to the sky above he can admit his feelings before he does something humiliating.

-He can see that you’re about to reply but he cuts you off before you can even formulate a proper sentence.

“Listen, I need to get something off my chest- this shit has been weighing me down for months. Just let me finish before you say anything, I’m losing my damn mind right now”

-His teeth grind together as he tries to form a coherent sentence

“You’re the only person I have left in this shitty world and I’m fucking terrified of losing you. When that bastard titan yanked on your wires I nearly shit out my heart in panic”

-Levi’s face just scrunches up in absolute agony at the thought of you dying right in front of him- you’re the last person he wants to die at the hands of a titan.

“Fuck I’m bad at feelings and shit- what I’m trying to say is that I care about you...I care about you so damn much that when I get nightmares of you the first thing I do is run to your room to check that you’re still breathing”

-Levi is shaking at this point, his eyes are filled with tears that are threatening to fall but he keeps going- he hasn’t told you he loves you yet. 

“God fucking damnit! What I’m trying to say is that I have feelings for you and I can’t hide them anymore because I don’t know how much time either of us have left”

-Cue the waterworks

-This is the first time in all your years of knowing him that you’ve seen him cry- and it scares you shitless because if someone as strong as Levi is full blown sobbing, it must be serious. You didn’t even see him shed a tear when your friends Isabel and Furlan died- just pure anger and murderous rage towards Erwin.

-You’re left completely speechless...how would you even begin to comfort such a broken man? You do the only thing you can think to do and wrap your arms tightly around him while lets out years worth of tears.

-The two of you sit like that for hours, one hand rubbing his back and the other running your fingers through his black hair

“I don’t want a bullshit answer, just give it to me straight- if you don’t want me then tell me right now”

-He looks up at you with bloodshot eyes, cheeks a rosy pink from all the crying and you can feel your heart sink to the pit of your stomach

‘‘I’ll stay by your side until the day I take my very last breath, I can promise you that Levi”

-Your thumb caresses his cheek softly and he gives an ultra rare Levi smile

-First order of business now that this relationship is official, you aren’t allowed to drink that shit in a cup you call peppermint tea”

“Pry my peppermint tea from my cold dead hands, you tasteless dumbass”

-He laughs and gently pushes your shoulder. But what the two of you don’t realize is that Hanji overheard everything and is now on her way to tell every living soul about “the two lovebirds”

-Let’s just say that holding Levi back from killing Hanji was much more difficult than killing an abnormal titan

----

Stay tuned for the next Levi headcanons post!

#levi ackerman fluff #levi ackerman angst #levi ackerman headcanons #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi x reader #levi fluff #levi angst #levi headcanons #captain levi headcanons #captain levi #eren x reader #jean x reader #armin x reader #mikasa x reader #aot headcanons #levi x you #eren yeager x reader #armin alert x reader #mikasa ackerman x reader #hanji zoe x reader #erwin smith x reader #hanji zoe fluff #reiner braun x reader #bertholdt headcanons #reiner headcanons #bertholdt hoover x reader #annie leonhart x reader #snk headcanons #snk x reader

[homoose]

Teach Me Something I Don’t Know: Part VII

Summary: Spencer’s unresolved trauma catches up with him. Reader gets her heart broken.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: angst, I’m so sorry guys

Warnings/Includes: brief mention of violence and details of a case; brief mention of prison, past trauma; a lil self-loathing and self-sabotaging

Word count: 3.8k

a/n: I knew that this was where this story was going from the very beginning. The dialogue is one of the first parts I had written. It still hurts. Relevant to the story: I operate with the understanding that the Jeid arc does not exist, which also means that Spencer never went to therapy in season 15. Also, huge thanks to @reidscanehand​ for beta-ing and just generally being my hype person!!!!

Song Recs: Shrike by Hozier; Better As a Memory by Kenny Chesney (don’t come for me if Spencer made playlists this would ABSOLUTELY be on there)

Series Masterlist

———

Spencer made his way to Emily’s office, ignoring the team’s eyes on him— varying degrees of understanding, concern, and uncertainty plain on their faces. As he reached the threshold, he paused for a second before moving into her line of sight. When he moved into the doorway, she looked up and waved him in. He closed the door behind him.

She gestured to the chair in front of her desk. Spencer hesitated for only a split second, but it was long enough for her to notice. He lowered himself into the chair and met her eyes.

She folded her hands on top of the desk. “How are you feeling?”

He drummed his fingers across his kneecaps. “I’m fine.”

It was a lie, and they both knew it. She bit back a sigh and flipped open the folder in front of her. “I’m finished with the official report. I wanted to go over it with you before I submit it to the director.” She looked at him briefly before reading out the report. “On January 9th, our team pursued a lead at the residence of suspect Andrew Hurley. We divided into teams to cover the two entrances to the home, as well as the barn behind the house.”

Spencer fidgeted slightly in his chair and rubbed the tips of his fingers together. Emily continued, “During the raid, Supervisory Special Agent Spencer Reid became separated from the team and was ambushed and disarmed by the suspect in the barn.” She paused but didn’t look at him. “The team was unaware of the altercation for some time, during which Dr. Reid employed various approved restraint methods and was ultimately forced to utilize self-defense measures to preserve his own life. Consequently, Mr. Hurley sustained serious injuries.”

She did look at him then, a steady and unrelenting gaze that had him shrinking inside himself. “However, I have determined that Dr. Reid’s actions were justified in order to maintain his own safety.” She returned her eyes to the report. “Mr. Hurley was detained and treated for his injuries at Sebastian River Medical Center, and he is expected to make a full recovery. Based on the cognitive interviews and physical evidence, a grand jury hearing is scheduled for January 25th.” She brought her hands to rest on top of the report.

“I’ll sign off on it and deliver it to the director by the end of business today.” She let out the sigh she’d been holding back. “Reid.”

He pressed his mouth into a thin line, torn between shame and vindication. “Emily.”

“What happened in that barn was unacceptable. And I need you to recognize that.” Her eyes were back on him, a leader’s gaze boring into a weak link. “You went against a direct order. You put your life in danger unnecessarily, and in the process you endangered this entire team. Furthermore, you could have cost us the ability to close this case, to put Hurley away and bring justice to his victims.”

“It won’t happen again,” he assured her.

“No, it won’t.” Her tone told him that if it did, he’d have bigger problems than a meeting in her office. “My recommendation to the director is that you transition to your next mandatory leave cycle early.”

“I can handle—”

“It’s not a request. You’re on sabbatical starting tomorrow. That’s an order, and one you’d do well to follow.” She closed the file in front of her. “We’ll see you back in the bullpen on March 7th.”

“I don’t need more time off, Emily,” Spencer snapped.

He could see her grind her teeth together at his tone, but he couldn’t seem to care enough to feel contrite. She took a deep breath in through her nose, leveling him with a pointed look. “If Simmons hadn’t broken it up, you’d have killed Hurley on the floor of that barn.”

His mind snapped back to the lifeless eyes of Hurley’s victims— eight year old boys in shallow graves. Boys who died afraid, and in pain, and crying out for their mothers. His thoughts raced to the feel of Hurley’s throat under his arm, the crack of the zygomatic under his fist. Emily was right of course. If Matt hadn’t found them in the barn and dragged him up and off of Hurley’s nearly lifeless body, Spencer would have killed him without compunction.

“Reid.” The stern edge was gone from her voice. Spencer refocused his eyes on her face, now showcasing an underlying concern that made his stomach turn. “I’m not recommending another cycle of mandatory counseling at this time, although I reserve the right to require it moving forward. But… I’m asking you to take care of yourself. You’ve been through a lot in the last two years. More than a lot.”

“I said I’m fine,” he insisted, but there was less fire behind it this time.

“And I’m not saying you aren’t,” she countered. “But I am saying that the person in that barn… that wasn’t you. That was not the Reid that I know.” Emily tilted her head and furrowed her brow. “The Reid I know uses his intellect and empathy to see angles that the rest of us miss. He depends on the strength of his mind and his unwavering compassion to diffuse conflicts without violence. He invites his friends to foreign film showings and puppet theater.”

When he didn’t budge, she let out a long breath. “I want you to take the next fifty days to find that Reid and bring him back to us.”

...

Y/N dropped into her desk chair with a huff. They’d been back from winter break for two weeks, and she already needed another vacation. But tomorrow was Friday, and then they had a long weekend. She could make it through one more day.

She closed her eyes for a long moment, tired in the way that only kindergarten teachers fresh off a long break can be. She heard the click of Anita’s shoes coming before she even entered the room, and Y/N couldn’t stop the twitch of her lips.

“Dude. How is it only Thursday?” Anita flopped down into the plush Calm Corner chair.

“This has been the longest week of my life,” Y/N agreed. “My kids were off the chain.”

“There is so much drama in middle school right now,” Anita groaned. “I can’t keep up with all the tea, and you know how I love to stay up to date on the freshest brews.” She shot Y/N a look. “Speaking of, where’s the good doctor?”

“I think they’ve had a lot going on at work,” Y/N surmised. “I haven’t seen Mrs. Jareau in over a month.”

“Well, I’m getting antsy,” Anita complained. “Thought for sure you’d be going steady by now.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t help but feel a little impatient herself. If she’d known it would be this long before she’d see him again, she might have made a move when he’d volunteered. Then again, probably not. She sighed.

Her phone chimed with an email message, and she automatically swiped the screen open to read it.

Spencer Reid Re:

Are you free today? If you are, I’ll be at Soho.

...

Spencer sat at the table in the corner of the coffee shop. He sipped absentmindedly at his tea, almost gone cold. He hadn’t waited for a reply before leaving Quantico. He drove straight to the city, figuring he’d wait at Soho until he felt some semblance of calm returning to his body.

He didn’t know why he’d emailed Y/N, and he wasn’t sure he really wanted her to show up. Usually he’d talk to Penelope or maybe JJ. But he’d wanted to get as far from the BAU as possible, and he didn’t want to drag Penelope away from the colorful, safe corner of the world she’d created for herself. He didn’t want to fill it with all the tragedy she’d tried so hard to leave behind.

If Y/N did show, he was certain he could keep the conversation vague, focus on her and the classroom, ask her about her holidays. She wasn’t a profiler, didn’t know his tells well enough. She’d be none the wiser, and he’d have her warmth and presence to focus his energy on, if only for a few hours.

Every time the bell chimed, his eyes flew to the door, searching for her. He knew it was ridiculous. He’d only known her for one hundred and eleven days. Pragmatically, he knew she shouldn’t be the one he wanted to talk to. Realistically, he wasn’t planning to burden her with all of the mess of the past week, the past year, his entire life.

But in the six hundred and forty seven minutes he’d spent with her since September, he’d felt more like himself than he ever had. He was never afraid to be himself with her— the silly story voices, the ridiculous costume, the magic trick, the vulnerability about his mom. All of these pieces of himself were things he usually waited years to show people. It had taken her a matter of weeks to draw them out.

He couldn’t help but believe that if he wanted to, he could tell her everything. She’d know exactly what to say. She’d listen for as long as he could keep talking. She’d cover his shaking hands and wrap him up in the warmth of her spirit. She’d give of herself to guide him back to the person he used to be. She’d be more than willing to use her radiance to illuminate the dark so that he might have a little light again.

The bell sounded, and his eyes focused, and there she was. She was wrapped up in a puffed jacket, a bright blue scarf tied around her neck. Her nose was adorably red from the cold, and she rubbed her hands together as the door closed behind her. Her eyes found him immediately. A small smile turned up the corners of her mouth, and she gave him an enthusiastic wave. And he knew that he was right about all of it.

She approached the table, unwinding her scarf. “Hi!”

“Hi.”

Her eyes flickered over his face, and then settled on his mostly empty mug. “I’ll get you a refill, and then we’ll catch up?”

He nodded, and she headed to the counter. There had been a part of him that thought she wouldn’t come, but of course she did. For some reason, unbeknownst to him, she liked talking to him. Even among his closest friends, he was often made to feel self-conscious about his tendency to ramble, but Y/N had literally asked him to. She sought him out, asked him questions, listened intently, and remembered things he’d told her. She was kind and thoughtful and genuine. Of course she came when he called.

She returned with two mugs, carefully setting them down on the tiny table. She unzipped and removed her jacket, hanging it on the back of her chair and revealing a crew neck sweater covered in tiny astronauts and rocket ships. When she sat across from him, her hands wrapped around the mug and her eyes met his.

“Hi.”

He couldn’t stop his lips from twitching, despite the events of the day. “You said that already.”

She laughed, and he felt the weight begin to lift. “Yeah, well, I haven’t seen you in forever, so— I’m just making up for lost time.”

“Sixty one days.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s been sixty one days, eighty eight minutes, and approximately,” he looked at his watch, “fourteen seconds since we saw each other last.”

She laughed again, and his mouth completed its curve. She tucked her hair behind her ear. “I like that you’ve been counting.” She let her chin come to rest in her hand, eyes studying his face. “How are you?”

He wanted to lie, but she was looking at him so earnestly that he mumbled out, “I’m managing.”

She mirrored the way he’d looked at her across this same table nearly three months ago. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” That was a lie, too. But asking her to meet him was enough of a burden.

“Okay. Well, if you change your mind at any point, let me know.” She wiggled her eyebrows at him. “Until then, I can just regale you with all the kindergarten stories you’ve missed while you were out saving lives.”

And regale him she did. For almost an hour, he listened to her tales of love (budding crushes were taking over recess time), loss (the class pet— a stuffed zebra— had accidentally taken a swim in the Atlantic on a vacation to Florida), and lessons learned…

“So, in case there was ever any doubt, we are now painfully aware that we shouldn’t attempt to flush our underwear.” Y/N let out an exasperated laugh.

She’d been talking to him for fifty three minutes, and his heart already felt one thousand times lighter. “I’m really glad I wasn’t there for that one.”

“I really wish that was the only poop story I had.” She shook her head. “There are a lot of things they don’t tell you in grad school. I think there’d be a global teacher shortage if they warned you about the amount of bodily fluid management involved in teaching kindergarten.”

She toyed with the edge of her empty mug. He watched the movement of her fingers.

“Do you—”

“Do you—”

She laughed and gestured for him to speak first.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

…

They ended up in Mitchell Park. The trees were bare and the grass was brown, but he was with her, and so it was beautiful.

They’d been walking in comfortable silence, when she asked, “Did you change your mind? About talking about it.”

Spencer put his hands into his pockets. “It’s, um— it’s kind of a lot.”

She shrugged. “I’ve got time.”

“I don’t mean— I mean, it would take some time to get through it all. But it’s also— it’s a lot.”

“We don’t have to.” He could feel her eyes on him. “Do you talk to— someone about it?”

“I talked with my unit chief today,” he answered.

“Okay. But— I mean, have you ever— talked to someone. Like, a professional.”

Spencer bristled slightly. Although he knew she wasn’t passing judgement, her question exposed the reality that she thought he could use it. “I’ve had some mandated counseling over the years.”

“Obviously it’s your choice whether you talk to someone or not,” she mused. “I just— I know that I’ve benefited a lot from seeing my therapist.”

Spencer was unsure of what to do with that information. Here she was, confessing that she went to therapy— sweet, lovely Y/N. In comparison, he wasn’t sure if even daily meetings with a counselor would be enough to tame the darkness that had grown and festered inside him over the years. That sometimes threatened to swallow him whole.

For a long while, there was only the crunch of the frozen ground beneath their feet. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but there was an uncertainty about them that felt uncharacteristically heavy. He was hyper aware of her presence, and so he felt her pace slowing down before she came to a complete stop. He walked a few more paces before it became clear that she wasn’t planning to catch up.

He turned and saw that she’d taken a seat on one of the park benches. He carefully made his way to the bench, sitting beside her quietly. She didn’t look at him, but instead studied her fingernails intently. She cracked her knuckles once, twice, and then turned her body slightly toward him on the bench.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped,” she hedged carefully. “I didn’t mean to tell you what to do, or like, imply that there’s anything wrong with you. There’s nothing wrong with you at all. I just—”

“It’s fine,” Spencer assured her. The way she looked at him then— like he was something fragile, delicate— made his eyes burn. He kept his voice even. “I know what you meant.”

She smiled, eyes crinkling and filled with something that felt familiar and far away all at once. “Good. I can’t have you out here thinking you’re anything less than wonderful.”

He couldn’t stop looking at her, attempting to solve the impossible cypher behind her irises. As he failed to decode it, his inability to read her blinded him to what came next. He missed the dilation of her pupils, the way her tongue darted out to wet her lips, the increase of the beats in her carotid. So when she leaned in and pressed her mouth to his, he was momentarily paralyzed.

Her lips were so soft against his slightly chapped ones, pressing with a perfectly gentle pressure. She brought her hand up to cradle his cheek, the pads of her fingers just barely ghosting the curls falling around his ear. She sighed into his mouth and pressed a little closer. He took one peaceful moment to bask in the realization of a desire he’d had for almost four months.

And then she swiped the very tentative tip of her tongue against the seam of his mouth, and his hands involuntarily wound into her hair, dragging her closer. He opened his mouth against hers to swallow her sweet little gasp. His grip on her hair tightened, and she let out the tiniest mewl, and like a switch had flipped— suddenly his mind was full of the darkness she’d spent the evening chasing away.

Y/N beneath him in the dark. Maeve in a pool of blood. His hands around Cat’s neck. His mother’s slap against his cheek. Max walking away from him. His fingers pressing the plunger on a dirty syringe. The slam of the door behind his father. Y/N calling out his name. A knife at his throat under a canopy of bones. Innumerable sets of lifeless eyes staring up at him. His life being snuffed out on the dirt floor of a shed. The clanging of metal bars and fingers ghosting over old bruises. Y/N looking at him with warm, loving eyes. The violent crack of bone underneath his fists. Y/N’s face, lovely and perfect— and then twisted in pain.

He broke away from her, releasing his hold on her hair and pushing her back into the bench. He took a second to gather himself before he dared to look at her. Her hair was tousled from his rough grip; her eyes were half-lidded and focused on him; her lips were red and kiss-bruised and turned up in a small, sweet smile.

And all at once he knew he had to hurt her, and it had to be now. Because what Cat had said about him was true. He might have escaped his mother’s illness, but he hadn’t been able to outrun the violence— and unlike her, he didn’t have the excuse of being sick. He had hurt people, and he had enjoyed it. He would have killed Hurley, and he would have slept soundly. He was no better than the men his team hunted.

Every time he thought he’d moved past it, that wickedness lurking just under the surface would grab him by the throat, choking everything else out. Emily’s directive rang in his ears. Find that Reid and bring him back to us. He knew who she was talking about. The problem was, he wasn’t sure that person still existed.

He was going to hurt Y/N eventually. Better to do it now, before things got too far.

“You’re Michael’s teacher,” he said, as evenly as possible.

Her smile faltered, and she pressed her lips together. He could still feel the phantom press of them against his own, and he was sure he’d never forget it. She cleared her throat. “You’re right, you’re totally right. I, um— I won’t be in a few months, and maybe then—”

“You don’t even know me,” he interrupted.

Now there was confusion in her eyes. That much he could read. She huffed out a small laugh. “I— I don’t think that’s entirely true.”

He looked directly at her. “Why? Because you read my bio on a university website? Because we got tea a couple times?” His voice sounded harsh, patronizing, and he hated it.

Her confusion shifted into shock, and he ignored the tug on his heart. “Are you serious?” she questioned, genuinely searching for a sign that he was joking.

“Dead serious.” He shrugged, and it felt like his bones were breaking. “You don’t really know anything about me, Y/N. If you did, you wouldn’t be sitting here right now.”

“Where— where is this coming from?” Her voice was small, close to breaking. He lined up the last nail on the lid of the coffin.

“Maybe I gave you the wrong impression. I’ve appreciated talking to you. Volunteering in your classroom was entertaining. But I don’t— I don’t see you that way.” It was a lie, and if he didn’t have such a practiced poker face, she might have seen through it. As it was, his poker face had helped get him banned from every casino in Vegas, so he watched her as he hammered the final nail. “You’re just Michael’s kindergarten teacher.”

“Oh.” The hurt flashed across her features— the furrow of her brow, the tightening of her mouth, the storm clouds in her eyes. “Well, I— I really read this wrong, huh?” She laughed, but there was no humor in it.

“Yeah.” He put his hands into his pockets to keep himself from reaching for her, the desire to comfort her a strange juxtaposition to the pain he was intentionally inflicting on her. “I guess so.”

She opened and closed her mouth twice before taking a deep breath and nearly whispering, “Okay. Well. I’m— I’m gonna go.”

She brushed some imaginary dust from her pants and then stood. She turned to him, and he waited for her to explode— to scream and curse at him. But it didn’t come. She didn’t look at him at all. “Um— yeah. I’m gonna go.”

He didn’t say anything, and he knew she’d take his silence as indifference. But he had to keep his mouth shut, because if he didn’t, he’d beg her to stay. He’d tell her every single random piece of information he had stored in his brain. He’d tell her that he loved her from the moment he watched her help a child pick a solution from a pencil box. He’d tell her that he only ever dreamt of two things these days— her or the lives he didn’t save. He’d tell her every single one of his deepest, darkest secrets. He’d tell her that sometimes he was so afraid of himself that he could barely breathe. And if he told her all of that, she’d walk away anyway.

So instead, he watched her turn and start back up the path, hugging her arms around herself and swiping her cheek against her scarf.

When she disappeared over the slope of the path, he scrubbed his hands over his own damp face and let himself break.

———

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[kk095]

Alyssa in Trauma

*hey everyone! I wanted to try writing a story with original, recurring characters with more of a 1st person perspective. Let me know what you think! Enjoy!*

It was a slow weeknight in our small community ER. It was just me, the head veteran nurse Nancy, nurse Ashley, nurse heather, and Dr Lindsay. The 5 of us were doing our part holding down the ER that night. We had a few minor cases- a kid who sprained his ankle skateboarding, back pain in exam room 2, and one of our frequent fliers in exam room 3 for who knows what this time.

A little after 8pm, the nurses station gets a call from dispatch. I can see Nancy nodding and responding to the voice on the other end of the phone, but I couldn’t initially make out what was being said. After the brief call, Nancy looked at me and gave me a rundown of the situation: “listen up everyone. We have a 26 year old female involved in a single car crash, possible chest and abdominal trauma. She’s hypotensive and tachycardic, and EMS intubated her on scene. ETA is 5 minutes.”

All of us quickly sprung into action at that point. I ordered the nurses to prep trauma room 1 and gather whatever supplies we may need for this particular case. While the nurses were getting things ready, me and Dr Lindsay put on a yellow trauma gown and a fresh pair of gloves. “make sure we have some unmatched o-neg, FFP, and platelets. And make sure surgery and radiology are on standby for us.” Dr Lindsay told the team, to which nurse Nancy nodded.

The following few minutes came and went quickly. We could hear the sound of the ambulance’s sirens grow louder and louder as it approached the hospital. The trauma room was quiet- the calm before the storm I suppose. We knew the patient was in rough shape, but we didn’t know what exactly to expect. Regardless, we were prepared for whatever was going to be thrown at us.

The ambulance pulled just outside the ERs main entrance and the medics wheeled the patient into the hospital and into our trauma room. To our surprise, one of the medics was performing CPR on the patient upon arrival. “26 year old female, restrained driver in single car MVC. Blunt chest trauma, lost vitals en route. Down 4 minutes, shocked ×2, meds ×1. PEA on the monitors.” The lead medic told us while the other delivered deep, violent chest compressions. “ok, let’s transfer her on my count. 1… 2… THREE!” I called out.

The patient was now on the table and under the overhead light. I looked down at the battered young woman lying on our table. Her name was Alyssa. She’s a 26 year old blonde with blue eyes, with a pretty face and a chubby build. She was just driving home from work when she swerved to avoid hitting a kid that ran out into the street, oblivious to Alyssa’s car, but slammed her car into a light post in the process.

Once Alyssa was on the table, the medics left the room and we began running our trauma code. Nurse heather resumed chest compressions, nurse nancy was ambu bagging, and nurse ashley got the next rounds of epi and atropine ready. Dr Lindsay and I decided to order some tests: STAT trauma labs, a chest x ray, and a FAST scan. After ashley injected the next round of meds, she drew the trauma labs while Dr Lindsay got the ultrasound machine ready. While that was going on, I set up the portable x ray for the chest x ray. The chest x ray showed sternum and rib fractures associated with CPR, but nothing else noticeable. Dr Lindsay then performed an echo. “oh boy, look at all that blood in the pericardium. Massive cardiac tamponade.” She said, shaking her head looking at the ultrasound monitor. “let’s do a pericardiocentesis.” She continued. “I disagree. She’s already in cardiac arrest and that’s a huge tamponade. I think we need to do a thoracotomy.” I responded to Dr Lindsay. “I don’t know Dr Kenny, I think we should do a pericardiocentesis and see if her condition improves. If not, then we do a thoracotomy.” Lindsay replied. “I don’t think we have time to wait. Thoracotomy is the way to go here.” I said, standing my ground. There was a pause for a moment. “I agree with Dr Kenny.” Nurse Nancy said, breaking the silence in the room. Nurse Nancy has been an ER nurse for over 20 years and she’s seen it all, so everyone trusted her judgement when she spoke up.

Dr Lindsay and I looked at each other for a moment and nodded in agreement. “Ok, let’s get a thoracotomy tray set up please.” Dr Lindsay ordered. Once the order was made, Ashley and I began setting up the proper equipment. Meanwhile, nurse Heather kept performing deep, strong chest compressions on Alyssa. The patient’s chest caved in and her belly bounced outwards. Her eyes were half open, staring blankly above while one of her arms dangled off the side of the table, bouncing in sync with each individual compression.

I picked up a 10 blade scalpel off of the thoracotomy tray while Ashley splashed Alyssa’s chest with betadine. While heather kept delivering chest compressions, I made a quick, decisive incision in the 5th intercostal space starting at the sternum. I extended the incision laterally across the young woman’s bare chest. Ashley retracted Alyssa’s large, d cup left breast to give me room to continue the incision. Once I extended the incision past the breast, I continued across to the mid axillary line, just a few inches shy of her left armpit. I had to make a 2nd incision I the same general area to separate the underlying fat and tissue. Once the tissue was adequately separated, I placed a rib spreader into the incision area and began twisting the knobs, forcing the young woman’s ribs apart. A loud popping and cracking sound filled the already hectic trauma room from Alyssa’s ribs being forced apart.

After her chest was adequately opened, heather stepped away, stopping CPR. I took my scalpel and made a vertical incision into the pericardium, performing a pericardiotomy in order to release the tamponade and deliver the heart. After cutting the fibrous lining of Alyssa’s heart, there was a collection of thick, gooey, coagulated blood that came out. Ashley suctioned away the coagulated blood, only for my line of sight to be filled with a large amount of fresh blood. “what a mess.. let me take a look.” Dr Lindsay said, forcing herself into my position, reaching into Alyssa’s exposed chest cavity. While Lindsay was sorting things out, I placed a vascular clamp on the descending aorta in order to redirect bloodflow to the heart, lungs, and brain- a common practice during ER thoracotomies to limit damage elsewhere and to potentially buy the patient time during the resuscitation.

Ashley suctioned out the blood that obstructed the line of sight, revealing Alyssa’s motionless heart. “starting cardiac massage.” Dr Lindsay called out. She wrapped her hands around Alyssa’s motionless heart, placing her thumbs on the left ventricle. She then began squeezing the heart, pushing her thumbs in an upwards motion in the process. “1… 2… 3… come on hun…” Dr Lindsay said, looking down at Alyssa, as if she was trying to convince her patient not to die. Lindsay continued internal massage while nurse Nancy stood at the head of the bed ambu bagging. “let’s get another dose of meds in. Hopefully we can get a shockable rhythm that way.” I called out to the team. Nurse heather went over and got the meds and injected them into the patient’s IV line. Meanwhile, Lindsay continued internal massage. “something doesn’t feel right. Her heart feels almost empty.” She said to me. “let me take a look.” I replied, inching my way closer. Lindsay continued internal compressions while I probed around in the young woman’s chest, trying to see if I can figure out what her injuries were. While I was examining the area, her heart began to fibrillate in Dr Lindsay’s hands. “ok! She’s in v-fib. Let’s get the internal paddles and charge to 20.” She called out.

Nurse Ashley charged the internal paddles to 20 joules, and handed them to me. Everyone backed away from the patient while I placed the paddles around Alyssa’s weakly fidgeting heart. “ok. Everyone… CLEAR!” I called out, delivering the shock. A dull, wet thump was heard from the shock. Alyssa’s torso flopped and her breasts jiggled in response to the jolt of electricity. “no change. Let’s shock again at 30.” I called out. Once the paddles were recharged, I lowered them back into the 26 year old’s chest, and delivered the 2nd shock. Alyssa’s toes curled at the other end of the table in response to the shock, showing off thick, silky wrinkles throughout the soles of her size 10 feet. “No change Dr Kenny" heather tells me, shaking her head while looking at the monitor. “ok. Let’s recharge the paddles to 30 and shock again.” I ordered. Nurse ashley recharged the zoll internal paddles to 30j and handed me the blood stained paddles for the next shock. Everyone backed away before the shock, knowing what was coming. This particular shock caused Alyssa’s torso to jolt sharply on the table, but v-fib persisted. “Damn it… still v-fib. Let’s push another dose of meds and shock again. This time we should shock at 40.” I told the team. Once again, we recharged the paddles, lowered them into Alyssa’s chest, and shocked her again. The same dull, wet thump was heard. Alyssa’s lifeless body twitched sharply on the table in response to the more intense shock, but her heart stopped in its tracks after that shock. “shit. Asystole on the monitor. Resuming internal massage" dr Lindsay called out, acting decisively.

Dr Lindsay reached hands back into the young lady’s chest and began pumping her heart manually. “1… 2… 3… come on Alyssa…” Dr Lindsay said to herself, thinking out loud. Alyssa’s heart felt flaccid and empty in dr Lindsay’s hands. There was a definite contrast between feeling Alyssa’s warm heart and her cold, clammy skin. Her complexion faded rapidly, and her beautiful blue eyes remained half open, with a blank expression on her face.

Dr Lindsay messaged Alyssa’s heart for several minutes to no avail. “let’s push another round of meds. And dr Kenny, how about you take over internal compressions for me? Maybe you’ve got the magic touch.” She said with an undertone of sarcasm. I nodded and took over compressions for my coworker. I reached my hands into Alyssa’s chest. I looked down and saw her heart motionless in my hands- something that’s odd to see in a previously healthy 26 year old. I started pumping her heart with my own 2 hands, desperately trying to bring the young woman back. But I knew the odds grew less and less likely as time went on. “hey, we’re out of FFP. Should I get another unit?” nurse heather asked us. “no honey, let’s hold onto it for someone we can actually save. You know how fast that blood bank can empty out on a busy day.” Nurse nancy replied, implying that Alyssa was pretty much a goner. “She’s young though, we should keep trying at least a little longer.” I said to the team, trying to improve morale.

I massaged the patient’s heart for several minutes to no avail. We maxed her out on meds in that timeframe, and nurse nancy noted that Alyssa had fixed and dilated pupils. At that point, I held compressions and the monitors went flat. “alright… does anyone object to calling this code?” I asked everyone in the trauma room. I was met with silence and a couple people shaking their head “no.” I then nodded and said “ok. Time of death, 20:46. Thank you all for your efforts.”

Nurse nancy detached the ambu bag and shut Alyssa’s eyes for the final time. Nurse heather switched off the flatlined monitors and began removing the EKG electrodes from the patient’s bare chest. I removed the thoracotomy equipment from the patient’s body, while dr Lindsay started removing her gloves and trauma gown, walking out of the ER feeling defeated. Nurse ashley removed all the IVs and started filling out the toe tag. On the blank tag, she wrote: “Collins, Alyssa. DOB 8/26/95, DOD 10/3/21, time of death 20:26, cause of death: Blunt SVC dissection. After filling out the tag, she placed it on the big toe of Alyssa’s left foot. The tag tangled in front of her soft, wrinkly soles while a sheet was placed over her battered body. At that point, I began to remove my equipment and head out of the room. Nurse nancy and nurse Ashley then wheeled the stretcher out of the trauma room to transport alyssa to the hospital morgue while heather stayed back and cleaned the trauma room and prep it for the next patient. It’s never easy losing a patient, but it’s par for the course when you work in trauma. We have to compose ourselves and move on to the next patient.

[writingsweetroll]

**Summary: Louis has worries for his one year old, and Clementine soothes them by opening up about her own issues.**

Louis tried his best to not toss and turn, he really hated these beds. They were so springy, you do anything on it, so much as lay a hand on the mattress and it would make a springy noise. The noise wouldn’t annoy him as much if Clementine wasn’t laying beside him, he quickly found out she was a very light sleeper. It broke his heart that she wasn’t born a light sleeper, she just adapted to being one due to all of the trauma she faced. He wanted to make sure she got as much sleep as she could- so tossing and turning would definitely awaken her and that was the last thing he wanted.

So, he lay stiff as a board. Looking above to the mattress above him. He anxiously counted the number of bars holding the bed above him, distracting his mind to the best of his abilities. Because every time he couldn’t sleep at night, his mind went to dark places. *You have no idea what you’re doing.* He would think. That main thought spiraled out of control to other thoughts. But, that one main thought started from the time he was child, to now. It adapted to whatever situation he was in. As a child, ‘You have no idea what you’re doing’ related to the spelling bee, now, it is related to parenting his one year old daughter.

He grabbed the chair next to the desk, and placed it near the bed. He sat on it and watched her sleep soundly. A warm feeling was felt in his chest, unknowingly smiling ear to ear. He examined her features, and the midnight moon shone upon her face. She mainly had Louis’ features, his freckles, skin color, and eye shape. But, her lashes were full and her eyes were as golden as Clementines, her hair was also kinky just like Clementines. She was a perfect mix between the two.

*You don’t know what you’re doing, do you?*

Louis furrowed his brows as the thought entered his mind. No matter how many baby books he read, or conversations with Clementine he had about how to raise a baby into childhood, his mind was never satisfied with himself.

*To put your girlfriend through so much pain during her pregnancy, so selfish to bring a kid into this world, you’re a monster.*

That wasn’t true. Louis knew it. It wasn’t a mindless decision or an accident, it was multiple conversations and respectful debates about when or if they should start a family. After weeks, they decided together that they wanted a family, and they had enough resources to do so. And the pregnancy went better than expected, minor pain here and there, and the delivery had no scares. Thankfully, whenever Louis would remember this, it seemed as if thoughts grew quieter, and instead he imagined a world where the apocalypse wasn’t here. He wondered what her parents would think of him, or Lee, even Kenny. He didn’t know much about them, but he knew enough to know she cared deeply for them.

Suddenly, his daughter sniffled, causing him to go into panic mode. He calmed himself down once she went back to her normal state. It was spring, and it was just allergies but he was still terrified of her getting sick. Louis sighed, slouching against the chair now.

Although Louis truly thought he didn’t know what he was doing, he knew one thing. He’ll never be like his parents. His father, manipulative and a gas-lighter. His mother ignored it and was just focused on her public image instead.

*“Chin up, baby.” His mother whispered down to him. “Play your little piano and smile.”*

*His mother’s tone was sweet, and caring. But Louis wasn’t stupid. He knew his family milked his skills during fancy business parties like these ones. But, he played the piano nonetheless, because this was the only time he could truly feel like he had an audience that enjoyed his talent, his dream.*

*“My son! Ladies and gentlemen!” Louis’ father widened his arms towards Louis playing the piano. Families of prestigious wealth clapped for him. In this moment it was bitter sweet, should he feel happy that people enjoyed his music, or should he feel angry that his parents only supported him if it benefited them? Louis brushed off the confusing feelings and instead put his emotions into his music, making it authentic and oddly charming.*

*“Beautiful, Mandisa.” A woman patted his mothers shoulder. “You’ve raised a wonderful son.”*

Louis slightly groaned in irritation. ‘*They raised a horrible kid.’* Louis thought to himself. Now that he was older, he realized that he shouldn’t have beat himself up as much as he did when he was 17. Guilt had always occupied his mind when he thought about what he did, how he broke up his parents. But in reality, they raised him like that. They raised him to think of yourself first, not others. Survival of the fittest.

*“Please, I have a family William!”*

*Louis sat on the couch with his mother, they were just chatting when they heard the commotion coming from the office room. His father opened the door and held his hand out. “You’re not needed anymore, Mark.”*

*“I-I’m not needed?! Are you serious!? I helped you start this business, what the fuck man?!”*

*“But- Mark. You seem to forget. People like me. People like my beautiful ‘exotic’ wife, people love my son. What do you have Mark? A regular housewife, who’s pregnant and unattractive? A son who doesn’t excel in school? He doesn’t even have a talent to show off. You’re dragging me down. You understand, don’t you?”*

*“Excuse me?! The fuck did you-” Mark gulped as a security guard walked up behind him. “Fine.” Mark muttered.*

*The guard escorted the man out. Louis’ father looked at Louis with a smile, as if he didn’t just ruin someone’s life. “See son,” he started. “-sometimes, we have to make the hard decisions to get what we desire. It’s just business. Nothing personal.”*

Business came first, passion and feelings came last. That way of life ruined his childhood. He believed from a young age hurting others to get what he wanted was ok.

He gently stroked Willows head, *‘I’ll never teach you that.’* He thought to himself. No matter what, he’ll always make sure she knew it was ok to express herself, to talk about her feelings. He wanted her to know that no matter the situation, she was loved and *accepted.*

“I promise.” He whispered. “I promise I’ll give you a better life than mine.”

Suddenly, he felt slender arms wrap around his neck, a semi-heavy weight on his shoulders. He smiled, hearing Clementine mumble something out of exhaustion.

“What was that, darling?” Louis asked, holding her forearm.

“You’re doing great.” She yawned. “You don’t have to keep worrying Louis. You love her and that’s—“

“The bare minimum, Clem.” Louis cut her off.

“-not really. Not anymore.” Clementine said sadly. “Even back then, dads used to run out on their kids, unable to either provide a stable life or love. You could’ve ran out so many times, so many opportunities and you didn’t.”

“Why would I ever do that?” Louis replied, almost offended.

“I’ve seen it happen before. Of course I knew you wouldn’t but…there’s always that lingering exit you can take, and the urge is probably there for you-“

“Clementine.” Louis said sternly, waking her up a little. “I would *never* do that. Do you really think that?”

Clementine stayed quiet. In reality, no. Of course she knew Louis would never leave. It was just her inner insecurities popping out, she’d hidden it for years but it came out eventually. The *constant* fear that she would be alone again lingered in her mind. Louis noticed her silence and sighed. He got off his chair, and then hugged her tightly.

“Isn’t it crazy?” Louis chuckled.

“What?”

“How we only started dating a month into knowing each other.” Louis started, caressing her arm a bit. “Now, we’re in a family together. Clementine, I didn’t fight a war with you, fell for you in the middle of it, wrote songs about you, spent literally almost every second with you for the past 4 years to just leave.” Louis reassured.

“But now we have a kid.”

“Even more of a reason to stay. I mean *who* can actually say they have a kid with the most beautiful, bad-ass woman of the apocalypse world? Only me! I’d be a fool to run from that.” Louis joked.

She shook her head, a big smile on her face. Louis kissed the top of her head, pushing her slightly towards the bed, there he dropped her on it. She got into a comfortable position, and Louis lay next to her.

“I was serious.” Clementine broke the silence. “When I said you’re doing great. It’s not only the love you have for her Louis. You don’t even go to sleep before she does. Even though I tell you I got it. You care deeply for her and that *is* enough.”

Louis sighed, twiddling his fingers with one another, only staring at the bars above him. “I know. Thanks. Sometimes it just feels like I’m not enough, even before Willow.”

“Louis…” Clementine muttered sadly. The thought of him degrading himself saddened her. She sat up, grabbing his curious glance. Clementine took off her oversized sweater, a tank-top underneath. There was enough moon-light to see the faint, pink branded mark on her arm. She slid her fingers over it slightly, a grimace appearing on her face.

“You finally gonna reveal the meaning behind that?” Louis chuckled, over the years, she’d always refuse. ‘*The past doesn’t matter.’* She’d say.

Although he was joking, she wasn’t.

“I got this when I was 13.” Clementine started.

Louis shifted himself upwards, a frown shown on his face as he eyed the scar.

“I only did it to make sure AJ was safe. But, then he got ripped apart from me in the same group. After that, I had nothing more to lose. And when you have nothing to lose…you do scary, stupid things. I was horrible, Louis. I wasn’t the same person you know today.”

Louis nodded, taking in her words to the best of his ability. Trying not to react negatively in anyway.

“After I got AJ back—I only had *him.* If anyone ever—and I mean, *anyone* tried anything to hurt or kill him, I wouldn’t hold back. Yes I love AJ. I really do, but that feeling of hopelessness for your own self is so damaging.” Clementine opened up. After a brief moment of silence she continued. “I didn’t have hope for my own life, only for his. I didn’t mind if I got bit, as long as he was safe, I didn’t care. Not because I was sad or anything but because I just felt like this world wasn't for me. When I was a kid, I loved to be social, playful even. I've changed so much, I was forced to. I used to be innocent. Now, I'm finally getting some sort of my old self back."

Clementine grabbed Louis’ hand and squeezed it slightly. “You saved me.” She said, her tone hoarse. Louis squeezed back on her hand.

"I'm glad to be of service." He smiled at her. “I love you.”

She smiled, and kissed his cheek. “I love you too, Louis.”

#twdg #clouis #telltale the walking dead #clemxlouis #clou #telltales the walking dead #twd #twdclem #twdg s4 #fanfic

[djmarinizelablog]

hi! read your last ask and you said that you took up creative writing classes so you might have a wider knowledge about this but i was wondering when u mentioned different writing styles (like minimalistic, hightened imagery, linear vilennete and all of that) could you maybe explain the difference and what they really mean and maybe examples in our own levihan nation and writers? this might be asking for too much but i was pretty lost and i'd like to know more about all that. however you are def free to ignore this too!

Did you just ask me to write a comprehensive poetics essay, Anon? (I love writing about writing lmao)

Super long post ahead, and I’ll be citing certain fanfics that I’ve read so far and those that I think somehow exemplifies all the different writing styles I mentioned in the previous post. 

First off, the ones I listed beforehand (minimalistic prose, heightened imagery, poetic language, linear narrative, non-linear vignettes) aren’t the only types of writing styles. There are more if you consider the variations of tone (humor/comedy, sentimental, macabre, noir etc), narration/perspective (first person, second person, third person omniscient/limited), and language (dialogue-heavy or action/scene-driven). And the nice thing is that you can actually use of one or two of them in your work---or all of them, if you’re feeling bold. 

As Hange always loves to do: “Let’s experiment!”

--------

I’ll start with minimalistic prose. It is what it is: short, clear, and concise. Think less is more. You have an economy with words where you disregard most adverbs and focus more on the context to make way for meaning, thus allowing the readers to create their own interpretations of your writing. I think the method here is to write your intended draft first, and then cut the unnecessary words to flesh out the scene even more.

Notice how @stereobone wrote this paragraph of Black Dog (an Eruri fic):

Isabel's voice wakes him, brother, brother, has him sitting upright in bed and grabbing for the knife under his mattress. He braces himself for the attack before he realizes there isn't one. There is nothing in the darkness but him and his heavy, panicked breathing. Levi's heart feels like it's trying to beat its way out of his chest. He drops the knife on the mattress and shuts his eyes and tries not to think about Farlan's bloody resigned face before he was eaten. He tries not to think about how he left them. How it's his fault.

It’s very simplistic in language; the paragraph lets you focus on Levi’s innermost thoughts while he deals with an external action (ie, having nightmares). The author hasn’t unraveled the rest of the plot yet, but you already know where the tension is coming from.

Next is heightened imagery. If you’re familiar with the different figures of speech (metaphor, simile, personification, hyperbole, etc), then this is where they all come into play. I think the challenge here is being able to balance it well with the text itself and make sure that the imagery actually clarifies the context of the paragraph instead of convoluting the intended meaning. 

Here’s an excerpt from A Dangerous Game by just_quintessentially_me:

Hanji watched Levi, standing there, head bent and bloodied handkerchief pressed against his arm, and was reminded, irrationally, of a night years ago. When her parents had taken her to the circus. [. . . .] Holding her parent’s hands, she’d gaped, head craned back as she watched the spectacle, a cacophonous mixture of sound and color. At the center of it all, she’d spied a boy. Among the twisting colors and tricks, he alone, was still. [. . . .] The boy was high above, balancing on a platform atop a long pole. In front of him, stretched an audaciously thin rope. Below, no net waited to catch him.

[. . . .]

When Levi looked up, his expression was set - like the boy before the tightrope. And she knew, with sinking certainty, he was going to take the step. Into thin air.

Gray eyes met her gaze and held it.

“Yeah. I’ll go.”

At the door, Kenny smiled.

See how the powerful imagery of the boy on the tightrope was able to fuel the tension in that moment among Levi, Hange, and Kenny? 

I think poetic language is akin to heightened imagery, except that the former is more focused on the actual language. It’s very lyrical, wherein you can actually hear the lulling song of the sentences in a rhythm. One of my favorite works that does this is Deep sea baby by @smallblip. Here she makes use of various setting and scenery to create this entire atmosphere of Levi and Hange’s relationship:

Hanji knows whatever life they've led, this is her favourite.

The one in which her and Levi see the sea for the first time together.

The one in which she’s the Commander, and him, her Captain. And between them, a river of words left unsaid threatening to break the banks.

One day they must cross the ocean, but today they visit the shores again, without the kids this time. And Levi learns why when he watches her peel at her clothes. Her harness comes off first, then her blouse, then everything else, like a little dance for an audience of one. Levi tries not to stare, but he’s already seen her by candlelight in the dead of the night. And yet she never fails to take his breath away.

She makes her way to where the white foams dredge the past up the shores of the present.

"Come on Levi! The water is warm!" she says, and he hears it like a call to come home- where the heavens collide with the sea.

He takes off his clothes and folds them in a neat pile beside Hanji's mess. He swims out to join her.

It’s hauntingly poetic, the way the author is able to connect the metaphor in “a river of words” to the actual body of water right in front of Levi and Hange. Good poetic language is able to tighten up the texts together while keeping the sentence structure flowing with apt figures of speech.

When it comes to narratives, it only comes down to linear or non-linear. See how @lostcauses-noregrets does her opening statement in Trains (also an Eruri fic):

Levi hates trains. To be fair, Levi hates all forms of public transport, but he reserves a particular loathing for trains. They’re dirty, noisy, smelly and worse, filled with people. People who, heaven forbid, might attempt to speak to Levi, engage him in conversation. Levi’s worst nightmare is being stuck on a train with some friendly fuck who wants to pass the time making small talk. Admittedly it’s not a problem he has to deal with too often, his general fuck off demeanour deters all but the most aggressively friendly and hopelessly inebriated. But that doesn’t stop Levi from hating trains.

It’s a short fic and it’s very dependent on the linearity of events happening. But with that banger of a first sentence, the beginning already gives you enough of an idea of Levi’s pet peeve in the story, which in this case, is trains.

Here’s another hot and steamy fic called keep him waiting by keobuns that shows a linear narrative: 

He’s sitting with them in the back of the lab, nursing a cup of tea — it’s still pretty full, and even cold now, for he was far too distracted listening to Hanji talk to properly drink — when he sees it. Hanji’s too preoccupied with overexplaining the same Titan experiment they’ve gone over a hundred times to notice his stare. They just continue on and on and on, gesturing with their hands, pointing with their fingers, flexing their wrists…

Ah. Levi has to bring his teacup to his lips to hide the way his lips tremble. Hanji has incredibly nice hands.

The entire story just revolves around Levi simping for Hange’s hands and how it all goes down from there. But you as a reader are kept wanting more with every paragraph and every sentence that the author constructs (and trust me, it’s not just the sexual tension between Levi and Hange that keeps us going).

Now, as much as I love the straightforwardness of linear prose, non-linear writing brings a different round of ideas onto the table. It can create recollections from flashbacks, heighten the perspective or interior turmoil of a character due to trauma or grief, or even just re-invent what-if scenes that the characters have imagined themselves. 

Gnossiene by @thatalmondgirl​ is one of my all-time favorite Rivetra fics. In this excerpt, you will see how she switches between the past and the present, and how it affects Petra’s POV as a conflicted character:

Contrary to popular belief (fuck Auruo) Petra actually didn’t cry easily.

Alright, she could admit that at some times, she was...emotional. It was far from a weakness, but even she could admit that they sometimes got in the way and walled off all rational thought. Anger, frustration, sadness, hell, even happiness. The only one she could easily compartmentalise away was fear, which probably stemmed from her military career. Even so. It was never easy to separate all the others from her actions, think from a clean slate like the Commander could do, like the captain. [. . . ] Petra groaned, splayed out across her bed. She drew her arm across her eyes, willing the tears to go away. She’d already blown through her tissue box.

“Petra, a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” Mama sat on the end of her bed, with Petra on the floor between her legs. Even though Petra argued firmly that she was old enough to brush her own hair, Mama had insisted. Unfortunately, Petra wasn’t old enough - and probably never would be - to disagree with her mother.

“I know, Mama.” Petra grumbled.

“I don’t think you do. Else you wouldn’t be crying, would you?”

[. . . .]

“But a man shouldn’t complete you when you complete yourself. Maybe he’s an extension to your house. So you’ll be sad if the extension is compromised or burns down. But you still have the main house. And if it’s strong, the main house can still be standing even after the worst storm.”

Aside from Mama’s crazy metaphors that sometimes didn’t make sense, her message hit home. Even if it hit home years later.

See how it switched in between the before and after? 

An off-shoot of non-linear writing are vignettes (a layering of scenes separated by section breaks) wherein this writing style allows writers to curate scenes in terms of fragments, creating some kind of mosaic for the readers once they finally see the big picture. Nakimochiku’s I’m leaving, are you coming with me? stacks up scenes of interactions between Levi and Hange, enough to depict the kind of relationship that they have as young lovers in a school setting. You can string these fragments together, rearrange them in a different order, but in the end, you will still get the author's clear goal of highlighting how Levi and Hange’s relationship develops over time.

Those are the styles that I mentioned in my previous posts, but as I’ve told you, there’s more to writing than those, so I’ll give a short run-through of other methods in writing. 

Whether it’s dialogue-heavy works such as from my window to yours, or action-driven scenes like Carnivores (a Levi x Reader fic by CaptainDegenerate) that propel the story forward, we as readers should be able to follow through the actual storyline that the authors intend to take us. 

A third-person limited (we listen to Hange’s thoughts in Clockwork by @tundrainafrica) vis-à-vis an all-knowing/omniscient narration (the moon is dark by @sayonarasanity alternates the perspective of Levi and Hange) should be able to make us understand why the author chose this particular kind of point-of-view in order to tell the story. 

And lastly, having a solid and consistent tone throughout the work (the macabre of Even Humanity’s Strongest could make mistakes by Rimeko versus the sweet sentimentality of Flowers for You by @fanmoose12) should be able to set the atmosphere that the authors want us to imbibe as we read through their works. 

So there’s your crash course on writing and reading. Enjoy? :) 

#levihan #writing #fanfic #fanfictions #fanfiction #ao3 #djmarinizela #mine

[spookybreadstick]

Hullo! I was hoping to request something. Idk if you know or heard of Kenny McCormick from South Park. If you don't then a little summary on him is that he's basically cursed with dying almost daily but coming back to life the next day. Nobody remembers him dying but Kenny does remember and also remembers the pain he felt when he died. I don't know if you have a character limit or not but if it's too much then you can choose what characters you'd like to do. How would Jeff, BEN, Liu/Sully, Masky, And Hoodie feel about the reader having the same kinda curse as Kenny?

I know absolutely nothing about South Park, so I’m just going off of what you described to me. I hope you like this and I’m sorry this took a minute. This was really fun to write, so thank you for the idea <3 

💖💞💖💞💖💞

🔪 Jeff with a s/o that dies and comes back to life each day 🔪

🔪 Jeff wouldn't believe you if you told him. 

🔪 Honestly, he'd be pretty upset that you'd “lie” to him like this and it would cause a fight. 

🔪 You'd eventually make up but he still wouldn't believe you. 

🔪 When people die, they're dead. That's it. End of story. 

🔪 Of course, there are some special cases. EJ didn't exactly die but he didn't not die. He was technically "reborn" as a demon. BEN and Sally both died, but they came back as ghosts. If you died but came back, you'd be a ghost-person, not a human-person. People don't just bounce back after they die, he of all people knows that. 

🔪 Your curse? Impossible in Jeff's mind.

🔪  It would take you a long time to convince Jeff that your curse is real. 

🔪 Once he does discover that you were telling the truth, he'll immediately be filled with regret. Why did he yell at you for “lying” to him? Why didn't he believe you?

🔪  He feels really bad about it, which is saying something because Jeff doesn't usually regret a lot of the things he does. 

🔪 He tries to make it up to you by protecting you the best he can. He will be by your side 24/7, ready to fight whatever comes your way trying to kill you.

🔪 If the curse persists anyway, he will go to Slender to ask for help breaking the curse. 

🔪 This is a big deal for Jeff, who hates to admit that he can't do something (in this case he can't protect you from the curse) and he hates to ask for help. 

🔪 He will do it for you though, because he loves you. 

🔪 You're one of the few people in this world that he actually cares about, and he doesn't want you to have to live with this curse anymore. 

🎮 BEN with a s/o that dies and comes back to life each day 🎮

🎮 BEN would think you're pranking him at first. 

🎮 You'd have to really convince him that it's not a joke, you're actually being serious. 

🎮 Once he realizes that you aren't kidding about this, he'll feel terrible about ignoring the seriousness of the situation. He might even cry. 

🎮 BEN remembers, although very faintly, how he felt when he died.

🎮  It breaks his heart to know that you're dying every single day and there's nothing he can do about it. 

🎮 Unlike Jeff, BEN doesn't believe that he can protect you from the curse.

🎮  His method of helping you is to hop on to the internet as soon as possible, so he can search for any information on your curse and what can be done to break it. He's going on a deep dive to the dark corners of the internet to get this info, and he'll spend hours researching if need be. 

🎮 BEN will then do whatever it takes to get whatever he needs to try out these methods of undoing the curse.

🎮 Depending on what he finds, he may actually be able to break the curse himself.

🎮 If he can't break the curse himself, he won't hesitate to ask Slender for help. 

🎮 BEN loves you and he doesn’t want you to have to live like this anymore (in all honestly, he’d rather have you join him in the after-life than continue to die and wake up as a living person each day). 

🧣 Liu/Sully with a s/o that dies and comes back to life each day 🧣

🧣 Liu would believe you right away, but Sully wouldn't. 

🧣 Sully is naturally skeptical about everything, while Liu is much more trusting, so this isn't really a surprise.

🧣 There are two different ways that you could go about explaining your curse, and it all depends on who is fronting at the moment. 

 If you explained your curse while Liu was fronting: 

🧣 You would get a very concerned Liu for a few moments, asking you every relevant question he can think of. 

🧣 Then Sully would front, and you'd have to put up with his passive aggressiveness. 

🧣 He doesn't believe you for a minute, and he'll make sure you know that with his attitude. 

🧣 Eventually you'd just have to give up and wait until Liu fronts again. 

🧣 Once he does, Liu wouldn't waste another minute before he goes running around the mansion looking for anyone who would have any more information on your curse. 

🧣 Liu doesn't know Slender and wouldn't feel comfortable asking him for help, but he'd do it for you if that was the last option.

 If you explained your curse while Sully is fronting: 

😈 Be prepared for him to yell. 

😈 He'll be angry because he thinks you're lying to him, and also making fun of their trauma in a way. 

😈 Liu was very close to death from the, uh, "incident" and Jeff even believed that Liu had come back from the dead when the two of them met again. So Sully thinks that you're making some sort of joke out of what Liu went through. 

😈 Yelling at you is his way of getting you to admit that you're “lying” about the whole thing. When you don't break down, he'll storm off for a while. Let him be. 

😈 Liu will front eventually, and he'll come running back to you. 

😈 You'll have to go over everything one more time, but then he'll be ready to help you however he can. 

😈 Sully, the next time he fronts, will apologize to you in his own way by being more affectionate than usual to try to make up for his earlier outburst (and to try to protect you as best he can. Liu doesn’t think he can protect you from this curse, but Sully does). 

🎭 Masky with a s/o that dies and comes back to life each day 🎭

🎭 Masky would be concerned for your mental health. 

🎭 He knows you wouldn't lie about something like this, nor would you joke about it with him (he certainly wouldn't find it funny) so this must mean that you're losing your marbles. 

🎭 He would make you go to EJ to be checked out. 

🎭 Once EJ gives you the clean bill of health, Masky would sit down with you and ask you to explain yourself. 

🎭 After you explain the situation, Masky will take you directly to Slender for help. I'm talking like as soon as the last words leave your mouth, he's dragging you by the hand towards Slender's office. 

🎭 There’s no hesitation on his part once he gets a clear picture of what’s going on.

🎭  He’s not going to just wait around for you to die again, he wants this to stop right now. 

🎭 You mean everything to him, and he can’t bear the thought of you dying each day while he is helpless. No, he needs to get Slender involved right away so that this curse can be broken. 

❓Hoodie with a s/o that dies and comes back to life each day ❓

❓ Hoodie would believe you right away. 

❓ He would know that this isn't something you'd joke about, and he'd take you seriously from the start. 

❓ He would first alert Masky to the situation. 

❓Better to have two people looking out for your safety than just one. 

❓ Next he would go to BEN to ask him what he knows about stuff like this, and he would apply any useful information that he'd get from BEN to your situation. 

❓ If that doesn't work, then he has no problem going to Slender for help with breaking the curse. 

❓ Since the two of you are in a relationship, in Hoodie’s mind that means his problems are also your problems and your problems are also his problems. 

❓ So this curse of yours? 

❓ You’re both in this together, and he’s not leaving your side.

~~~~

Note: If Slender can’t break your curse on his own, he would most likely be able to give you some kind of help, even if it’s just the name of a being who might be able to help you. Even if there’s nothing he can really do, all of the boys would do whatever they could to break this curse on their own. They’d never stop trying to save you from dying, they’d never stop looking for ways to break the curse, and they’d do whatever it takes to find somebody that could help you. 

~~~~~

#💖💞 #💞 #💞 hcs #💖 #💖 requests #creepypasta #🔪Jeff the Killer/Jeff Woods🔪 #🎮BEN Drowned🎮 #🧣Liu Woods/Homicidal Liu🧣 #🎭Masky/Tim Wright🎭 #❓Hoodie/Brian Thomas❓ #creepypasta hcs #hcs #tw death #creepypasta x reader #spookybreadstick

[empressofthesunwriter]

The Stick of Truth

Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1!

N.K. is angry at her parents. Not only did they move again, no, but they moved into a snowy hicktown named South Park! She was sure she would hate it there, yet surprisingly she gets to participate in the epic RPG the kids play and falls for the human princess and the elf king. Who is friend, who is foe and which side should she choose?

Main Pairing: New Kid/Kenny McCormick/Kyle Broflovski

Here we are with a short chapter to a really twisted part of the game!

But we learn some new things so…profit?

Enjoy this little chapter anyways!

Chapter 12: No words can describe this trauma!

I’m again in the war-thorn Main Street in Seattle.

I feel how blood drops from my hands.

I know it’s not my own blood.

It’s the blood of the soldiers who…tried to kill me?

I…I don’t know for sure.

They…they have pointed their weapons at me!

They…they shot at me but not in any important organs.

Are they trying to catch me?

But why?

My breath is rugged.

I feel so dizzy.

“Now, now, my dear Dovahkiin!”, tutts a male voice.

I see…the Eye-Patch-Grandpa!

With him are severely heavily armed soldiers.

“How long do you want to run?”, Eye-Patch-Granpa asks. “How long can you still fight?”

My mouth moves on my own.

“As long as I can. I will not be your weapon!”

He looks at me with pity.

“Oh dear sweet Dovahkiin, you are like this, because of us. You BELONG to us. You are a weapon!”

A growl lefts my mouth.

Eye-Patch-Granpa speaks again and surprisingly sings: “Time to go to work! Work all night! Search for underpants hey! We won't stop until we have underpants! Yum tum yummy tum tayyy!”

What the fuck?!

I wake up in a jolt and search for my glasses.

What is going on?

What was that dream and who is singing in my room about underpants?

When I can see again I see…little gnomes?

Little gnomes who are stealing my panties!

What kind of pervert assholes are this?

Yes, I totally ignore that I see real gnomes since I’m so offended!

“OH SHIT, SHE'S AWAKE!”, yells a gnome.

“What?!”

“This kid is AWAKE! What the fuck do we do?!”

“Oh, fuck!”

“I guess we gotta kill her.”

“All right, fuck it, let's kill her.”

Angry I stand up from my bed and look down at these tiny perverts.

“I will kill you, you fucked up pervs! Who steals the panties of an 11-year-old?!”

The anger and disgust I feel are like a hot ball in my stomach. Automatically I let it spread and…in a flash, I’m transformed?

Huh?

I can transform into a Magical Girl?

….Wait a minute it happened the night before on the alien ship!

I totally forgot!

Okay, something is really wrong with my memory that I always forget that I’m a Magical Girl.

Sadly I can’t think more about it since I need to kill little perverts!

I can’t believe that even these perverted gnomes take also part in the RPG!

But their attacks don’t even scratch. With a flick of my wrist, they evaporate and I only need to shoot tiny balls of light at them to defeat them.

It’s kinda like when you have a game boss on Level 20 and you grind your character to 40 or 50 to completely destroy them.

“Shit, she's too big! We can't beat her!”, cries a gnome.

“Damn right now get out of my room before I kill you!”

“Well if you can't beat ‘em, SHRINK ‘em! Go ahead, Warlock!”

“What?!”

I don’t know why these gnomes are so fixed on killing me, didn’t the beating I gave them humiliate enough?

Another gnome appears, he really has the warlock vibe going on and throws at me some glitter.

Okay, now we all are the same height.

They don’t waste time to attack me again, but I’m pretty much a tank in my Magical Girl form and kick their asses again.

Beaten and bloody they run into the little mousehole in my room.

“Hey! Come back and turn me normal again?!”, I shout after them.

I follow them through the mousehole.

These perverted gnomes are fast, I can’t see them. The giant rat that lives in our walls I see therefore clearly enough.

I kill it with my golden light energy orb.

I continue on in my search for the gnomes and end up in a ventilation box. I can hear my parents talking.

Curiosity gets the better of me, so I stop to listen.

“I just sometimes feel like we should tell her the truth.”, say’s Mamma to Papà defeated.

“Why?! So she can relive it all in her head?”, counters Papà. “It's better that she can't remember!”

“Chris, N.K. was born with this gift, and then they did these experiments on her, so they could turn her into an even more powerful weapon! We have tried for years to not trigger these powers, but N.K. always awakes them!”

I…I can’t believe what I’m hearing.

What gift?

What experiments?

What kind of weapon should I be turned into?

My…my dreams.

Dovahkiin…that’s what Eye-Patch-Grandpa called me! The only Dovahkiin I know is the one from Skyrim…who can absorb powers and make them their own?!

Is my Magical Girl form the result of that?!

I…I feel dizzy.

This is too much.

“That’s why we have to keep anything secret from N.K. They WON'T stop looking for her, Kelly.”, argues Papà “We moved here to South Park since crazy shit happens here daily. Our daughter’s powers are nothing against what is going on here. We will be safe finally.”

My parents knew that South Park is literally the epicenter of craziness and moved us here on purpose?!

Do hide my powers better? Even from me?

What?

Tired Mamma rubs her forehead and leans on Papà for support.

“I'm so frazzled. Will you just... make love to me?”

…WHAT?!

“Of course, I will, darling.”

Dear Isis, Osiris, Seth, and Hathor let’s get out of here!

I run, but…I can hear them!

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Oh god, this will haunt my nightmares for ages.

Goddammit, where are these perverted gnomes?!

I make my way through the walls of our home. I encounter more rats, but I kill them easily.

I just wish I had some earplugs to not hear how my parents are having sex!

Gritting my teeth as I open the wall socket before me and jump down.

I land on the dresser…in my parent’s room.

“AAARGH! IT BURNS!”, I scream and slap my hands against my eyes.

I didn’t need to see this!

I didn’t need to see this!

Hearing it was already traumatizing, yet seeing it is a whole other number!

This time I really throw up a bit.

I need brain bleach!

I have to find these gnomes!

Trying to blend out the sounds of the coupling of my parents and also not to look at them again, I run along the dresser.

Finally!

There they are!

“You son of sphinxes!”, I curse.

“Oh, shit, the kid is still following us!”, points a gnome out.

“She's not gonna stop until she finds a way to become normal size again! That means she's coming after YOU, Warlock!”, turns another gnome to the warlock.

He doesn’t like it.

“What?! Ah, FUCK!”

He runs away and his buddies try to stop me from going after him. I defeat them fast.

“Come back here, you bastard!”, I shout after the Warlock.

“I'm not changing you back!”, he calls back “I don't care what you do to me!”

I chase after him.

Oh no!

The warlock climbs up the bed of my parents, who are still having sex.

And of course, I see again what they do!

Doggy-Style!

I throw up again.

With the back of my white glove, I try to clean my mouth, while I reach the Warlock on the bed.

How fucked up is this?

How much therapy will I need to cure this trauma?

I will so kill this Warlock!

“You perverted, dickless, ugly ass bitch! Stop running at face me like a man!”, I challenge him.

“You couldn't just let it go, could you?!”, he shouts at me. “You couldn't just let us take your underpants! No, you had to go and start asking QUESTIONS! Well, now you shall see the true power of an underpants gnome!”

…Underpants gnome?!

They really exist!

Oh my god, I have to call my old bro Ryan, who lives in New York. He always told me that gnomes were stealing his underpants and I told him he was hallucinating.

I feel bad now.

But I need to concrete on the Underpants Gnome Warlock and not him or my parent who have above us sex.

This will be the most fucked-up fight in all existence.

Still, I form on my hand’s golden light orbs and get in a fighting position.

“Come at me, bro!”, I growl.

We start our fight…and it’s fucked up as I said. At one point, I have to dodge my dad’s balls.

I never ever thought that I would ever think something like that and yet here we are!

I will make the Underpants Gnomes pay for my therapist’s bills!

In the end, I defeat the Warlock.

“Alright all right! You win! Take this! Take it!”

He hands me a little pouch with glitter.

“You can grow small or big whenever you feel like it!”, he explains to me. “All we wanted was to collect underpants to stop Taco Bell from releasing its toxic green goo into our underground world! You see, the green goo is actually a- RAAAAAAUAUUAUGH!”

The warlocks get crashed under my mom’s breasts!

Thank heaven I have such good reflexes as Magical Girl and can jump out of the bed before my dad’s balls crush me.

Faster than lighting I use the way I came here to go back to my room.

I sit, still as Magical Girl, but normal-sized again on my bed and I have my arms wrapped around my leg, swinging myself back and forth.

I thought the alien with their probes were fucked up, yet what I expired tonight takes the cake.

I’m scared to fall asleep.

So I’m just sitting there, trying to not flip out totally.

I think about what I learned.

I have a gift…I don’t know what it is.

Someone expirendment on me…which gave me my Magical Girl form.

My parents know all this…they keep it secret from me.

It already happened before that I transformed…I always forget.

Eye-Patch-Grandpa was in my dreams…maybe they aren’t dreams, but memories.

My memories are more fucked up than I thought!

I can’t remember shit, only that I transformed yesterday and then these weird dreams about Seattle.

Maybe…like I saw it in my dreams…Eye-Patch-Grandpa belongs to the people who did this to me…and tries to get me back…and I used my Magical Girl Powers to fight them…somehow I won…my parents grabbed me and decide to flee with me to South Park… undiscussable the most fucked-up and crazy place on Earth to hide me…to hide what I am.

But…what I’m exactly?

I’m not a classic Magical Girl since my powers come from these experiments and then there is this gift, I was born natural with, that I don’t know what it is!

So….I’m kind of a superhuman.

A mutant?

I don’t fucking know!

Then in a flash, I transform back and feel again soooo tired.

My Magical Girl Form is powerful but comes with this negative part.

After the transformation ends I feel like death cooked over.

I yawn and snuggle up in my bed.

Maybe…I can close my eyes for a little while.

Just to get some energy back.

I don’t want to forget what I learned.

In the end, my exhaustion is more powerful and I fall into a dreamless sleep.

Next

#southparkfanfiction #southpark #new kid sp #dovahkiin #stick of truth #SP FanFic: Codename: Dovahkiin Part 1 #douchbag #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #k2 #polyamarous

[sparkles-and-trash]

South Park Main 5, Headcanons Masterpost  ~

Stan Marsh 

Looks: 

hair is actually nice and somewhat floppy naturally, but because he wears a hat most of the time, it’s usually flat and a little greasy kshdhsd

hair is that blue-ish black color

eyes is piercing ice blue 

skin is light, kind porcelain like, but he also tans really fast?

soft sweaters are the only thing he’ll wear from early autumn to late spring

in summer he’ll literally only wear band shirts and flannels lol 

Personality and General Trivia:

totally cares more for animals than most people let’s be real 

sometimes he struggles with seeing things from others point of view and ha can come across as a little self centered 

he is aware of it tho and tries to be better at it 

his instagram is filled with Sparky haha 

let’s Sparky sleep in his bed every single night even tho Sharon tells him not to 

likes reading and writing, has a tiny obsession with dark themes and Lovecraftian stuff 

he and Kenny volunteers at the local pet shelter and homeless shelter together 

the pet shelter was Stan’s idea, and the homeless shelter was Kenny’s 

wants to be edgy but is really just very soft

“Kyle said...” 

believes everything Kyle tells him lol 

enjoys video games a lot, prefers single player, story based ones tho 

also still enjoys boardgames a lot, and when the big group isn’t up for hit, he, Tweek, Jimmy, Butters and Cartman groups together to nerd it out 

has clinical depression, but is managing it with help of a therapist, his mom and friends

sometimes things gets pretty dark, but he is getting better at reaching out and asking for help in those times 

Friendships:

like I mentioned above, he struggles a bit with seeing things for other’s point of view 

but he is aware of his flaws and is trying to be better

can get a little bit caught up in his own drama, but listens when his friends tells him he needs to get over himself 

will always stand up for his friends, especially if they’re not there to do it themselves 

when he starts getting closer with Butters in early high school he gets really upset when he realizes how much he gets shit-talked 

enjoys spending time with his friends individually, probably the most of the group, and takes initiative to do so a lot 

which is very important to Kenny, since he tends to feel a little overlooked sometimes, and it makes their friendship really strong 

same with Butters, except Butters doesn’t usually doesn’t mind mainly being in a group, but the first few times and Stan hangs out alone it’s obvious he really appreciates it 

Family:

daddy issues 

sorry I don’t make the rules lol 

has a decent relationship with Sharon tho

she’s a good mom 

and he wants to be a good son 

Shelly is still kinda angry and scary

she keeps the “only I can beat you up bro” attitude and there is secretly mutual respect there

but we don’t talk about that!!! 

Ships and relationships:

okay so my main ships for him are stutters (Butters), stenny (Kenny) and Style (Kyle) 

my fav is stutters tho 

I usually head canon him as bi or pan, but as with everyone in SP, I’m open to different interpretations if different Au’s and stories! 

I just really like the idea of them learning to balance facing their issues AND celebrate the good things in life together 

I def think he can be a bit insecure in relationships, struggling with feeling like he’s not enough, and would need a partner that naturally will be affirming and positive 

that’s not to say he’s super needy or clingy, he’s just a bit insecure 

but I really think he would truly be a good partner 

he’s caring, kind and very appreciative 

which is again why I really like him with Butters offh 

Kenny McCormick 

Looks:

sandy blonde hair that’s always messy and floppy/softly curled 

teeth is kind of crooked due to lack of funds for braces 

his front teeth are kinda big and has a significant gap 

lots and lots of freckles man 

all over his face, shoulders, back, hands and arms 

tans fast 

I actually really like him with brown eyes? like, soulful deep brown eyes 

but also very, very clear blue ones, like almost unnatural (yes that’s a mysterious thing) 

medium tall 

wears his hoodies, usually with the hood up, no matter if it’s freezing or a heatwave

not conventionally attractive, but charming looking lol 

likes to wear some eyeliner every now and then

and nail polish, but it’s like super clumsily put on and always chipped

Personality and General Trivia:

falls asleep in class a lot, but always seems to know the answer if the teacher asks him something

also has decent grades

I think he’s way smarter than he gives himself credit for, both socially and school wise 

the therapist of the groups 

actually, the therapist of the whole school 

knows a lot of secrets due to this, but he always, ALWAYS keeps them 

I see him as very friendly and approachable, but terribly hard to get close with

lots and lots of walls, man

very much an observer type? 

quietly stays in the background if that’s an option

but if he is talked too, or feels like he has something to really contribute to in a conversation he’ll jump in and be comfortable talking and taking up space if he is with friends or people he knows 

if not, he’ll just stay in the background with that.... look on his face that just makes you know he knows more than he says 

works at Tweek’s parents coffee shop, is kinda close with Tweek because of this 

zones out a lot 

“…what?” 

can fall asleep anywhere

Friendships:

is pretty close friends with Butters! 

Butters used to have a little crush on him, but Kenny didn’t find out until years later lol 

he also has a lot of patience with Cartman compared to the others

which is why Cartman actually cares when Kenny sets him in his place 

likes learning new things, and does that with Kyle a lot! 

both school and homework stuff, and things like cooking and other homey stuff, the two of them really bond with this 

him and Stan volunteer together, and I already mentioned, and that time means a lot to Kenny 

since he works with Tweek, the two of them are pretty close and good friends 

is the one of the main boys who gets along the best with Craig and those guys

actually hangs out with them from time to time, so does Butters

it low-key drives the others crazy

Family:

I often like to think his parents would keep having these bursts where they try to get their shit together? 

and it’s slow, and one step back and two backwards, but the fact that they’re trying at all means a lot to the kids after years of them... not 

I can also see Kevin stepping up and taking more charge, Kevin get’s way too little love in this fandom! 

Kenny usually never fights with his sibs

but when he does it’s with Karen, usually because he’s worried about her and it’s nor pretty

none of them can stay mad at each other for long tho

Kevin trying to be all “big brother” and kinda failing because he is chaotic, but he really wants to do right and Karen and Kenny knows that and appreciates it 

Ships and relationships:

ohhh kay here we go, unpopular opinions ahead! 

first, my main Kenny ships are Tokenny (Token x Kenny) and Stenny 

rn Tokenny is my main, I love the potential dynamics, both with their personalties and backgrounds and families 

I tend to head canon him as pan or bisexual, and demiromatic 

I know the demiromantic part is... controversial, at best 

but hear me out! 

I see him being very comfortable with discussing sexual stuff, and being attracted to someone physically is never something he feels awkward or bad about 

but when it comes to more emotional connections, he is way more awkward and fumbling 

for those who doesn’t know, a demiromatic person (like myself! surprise!) won’t have crushes or romantic feelings for someone they don’t already have some form of emotional bond with! We can still feel sexual attraction tho, and some of us are comfortable with casual sexual encounters (like me!) and others are not, and both are very valid! 

I usually have two ways of writing him 

either him being comfortable having casual sexual interactions, but struggling with the romantic aspect and having to figure out how this works for him 

OR 

him having some trauma related to debating sexually very early, thinking he was all ready and it was just sex, but getting his emotions caught up in it and being very heartbroken and confused, and therefore having issues with being intimate with people for a while 

I mix them up depending on the story, but the first one is usually my go-to! 

Kyle Broflovski 

Looks:

he still covers his hair a lot, either with hats or hoods? 

because I really see him being insecure about it 

it’s a medium sort of red, and like, really curly and fluffy 

not frizzy, big like... big 

I usually give him green eyes, but I also could see him with a light brown or hazel! 

some light freckles on his face that only really shows up if he’s spent time in the sun 

pretty tall, kind of lanky 

d i m p l e s 

Personality and General Trivia:

big nerd energy

in every way, board games, video games, loves school, like genuinely, enjoys studying for tests, loves fantasy books, the longer and more complicated the better 

co-captain of the debate team with Wendy 

is good with arguments unless he gets too passionate on the subject, or if someone knows his weak points and uses them to tick him off

it’s usually Cartman  

his mom wants him to go to an Ivy League but honestly he just wants to go to the same one in Denver as Stan, Butters and Cartman are planning on, and now that Kenny is also considering it he seriously think he’ll die if all his friends go to the same college without him

he struggles with FOMO, which is kind of an issue since he’s a busy guy, and some of his friends are not lol 

if any one of these kids become a jock, it’s def Kyle with his basketball change my mind- 

but not like, a letterman wearing fuckboy type of jock, but like, is obsessed with his sport and his team and works really hard to do well type of jock

Friendships:

very loyal 

he and Stan walks Sparky together at least twice a week, just to be sure they’re always caught up with each other even when they’re busy with school, sports and dating

yeah they’re still super best friends 

when they started high school he got closer to Wendy as she’s also on the debate team, in all of his AP classes and they share a lot of the same interests  

they’re still good friends, but nothing more

the first time Cartman got really drunk was at a party freshman year, and at the time everyone was pretty fed up with him, and he ended up crying and Kyle found him, and Cartman thinks Kyle doesn’t remember, but he does 

that was the first night Kyle really kinda understood why Cartman was the way he was, and even though he still thinks he’s a dick at times, he tries to remember everyone have a story, and to give people time 

but he often gets too riled up to remember that lol 

good pals with Jimmy, they share a lot of interests in fantasy stuff and have the same humor 

he also start to go along well with Craig when they are around middle school age, but they’re both kinda too stubborn to admit they’re friends until a year later lol  

Family:

even tho Sheila is pretty overbearing and can be too much, he is a mommy’s boy deep down 

tense relationship with his dad 

enjoys cooking, so that’s where he spends a lot of time with his mom! 

tries his best to keep up with Ike and his life

sometimes he is a tad cringy when doing so, but Ike appreciates the gesture 

Ike is pretty confident and strong in himself so he doesn’t care if Kyle is a bit awkward lol 

the type of brothers who genuinely enjoys spending time together 

Ships and relationships:

I like Style, Kyman, K2 and Kyvid! 

I think he’d be a late bloomer when it comes to love and dating

struggles with opening up and letting himself feel these things 

I often think of him as biromantic asexual, but I’m not always set on it! 

he’d enjoy traditional dinner and a movie type of dates a lot, such a nerd 

Eric Cartman 

Looks:

keeps his hair cut pretty short and styled

has heterochromia iridium (different colored eyes), one blue and one brown

also he has a real nice smile when it’s a genuine one

which is rare but like 

it happens 

is kinda insecure about his weight and tries to compensate with always having the newest stuff and pretending not to care

sometimes tries to diet in secret

he isn’t huge anymore, but is still sort of broad, and isn’t skinny, but like..

kinda bulky, if he wears the right type of clothes it’s hard to see if he’s chubby or buff

but he is def chubby 

Personality and General Trivia:

spends way to much time on reddit arguing with randoms

angry gamer, will call you a slur on voice chat 

after almost getting dropped by his friends in middle school he tries a little harder to be a more decent person

still an asshole at heart, but like, an asshole who sometimes cares about some people 

always tells people that’s he’s seen that meme before, even when he hasn’t 

nothing is ever his fault and the only ones who can get him to admit he’s wrong are Kenny and, very, very rarely, Kyle

he wears supreme hoodies for a full year of High School and stands in line all night for the new ones and never shuts up about how he is the first in South Park to have the new stuff 

Kenny finds it hilarious to buy the fake supreme stickers and put then on his own worn out hoodies

Kyle makes it his main goal in life to put things (everything from used gym socks to old food he finds in his locker) in Cartmans hoods and see how long it takes for him to notice 

can’t handle alcohol, is constantly being teased for it

sloppy drunk lol 

one of the main reasons the other bothers with Cartman trough middle school, when he is at his worst, is because of his big basement, the old Coon Lair, who got a big renovation around 7th grade and is an awesome, private hangout spot with a big TV and wifi and gaming systems

Friendships:

constantly says he hates his friends but would die if everyone left him 

is secretly terribly jealous of Kyle, both his closeness to Stan, his basketball skills, his grades and his family

but they had that thing in Freshman year when Kyle found him drunk, alone and sad, and Cartman himself barely remembers it, and doesn’t think Kyle does because he never mentioned it 

but he does

so much tension there, but also co-dependency 

sees Kenny and Butters as his best friends, and knows deep down neither of them feel that way about him and it secretly kills him 

is in the same board game group with Stan 

is low-key terrified of Tweek lol 

Family:

big mommy issues 

but also very protective of her

I really enjoy the AU/headcanon that Liane marries Clyde’s dad 

it’s not like, the only version I like, but I put it in as many au’s and works of mine as I can 

I def think both boys would be mortified right away 

but Clyde comes around first, because he really wants a brother, even if that brother have to be Cartman 

Cartman would never admit it, but after some time he really starts to see Clyde as a brother and genuinely cares for him 

Ships and relationships:

I mainly see Cartman as gay 

sometimes I start of AU’s and stories with him not being out to himself or anyone else tho, I think that whole journey for him will be very interesting and help him grow as a person 

I def think he’d have a few girlfriends before he comes out tho? 

he can be very charming when he wants too yanno 

my only Cartman ship is kyman atm, but I’m def open to explore more of

Leopold Butters Stotch 

Looks:

I really really really like T A L L Butters??? 

like tall and gangly and adorable 

I know it’s very popular to head canon that he bleaches his hair, but I like to think he has very light blond air naturally! 

keeps it short on the sides and longer on top, with cute ass curls 

soft sky blue eyes 

also dyes his bangs light blue in high school!! 

Pete the goth helps him because he is a pro of dying bangs 

I like to think he’d be into pastel grunge, and keep his love for Hello Kitty and Sanrio etc, but still be a bit more... edgy? 

Personality and General Trivia:

one of those people who’s friendly with almost everyone

but that doesn’t mean he’s friends with them, yanno? 

gets drunk from one wine cooler 

loves the theater and is in the drama club, but likes to be behind the stage, not on it 

wants to be a director one day 

watches Netflix on his phone every single time he has any time to spare, because he’s always binging a show

is usually pretty positive and kind, gives people the benefit of the doubt 

but can be very stubborn, and if he has decided he dislikes or doesn’t trust someone, it’s almost impossible to change his mind 

Friendships:

Butters put up with Cartman for so long because he genuinely thinks he can be fun when he’s not horrible, and he really tries his best to believe in people

he was also the first one to forgive him after the others cut him off 

a very loyal and fun friend

takes a lot of initiative to do stuff, and loves hosting movie nights 

thinks of these boys as his closest friends, but is also real close to Wendy, Bebe, Jimmy and Tweek

Family:

I just hate Stephen so much you guys

so tbh I usually like to just... have Linda leave him, or straight up kill him off oops 

I know Linda is terrible too, I do, but I think she could possibly have a moment of realization if something happens like Butters potentially being taken away? 

idk I’m not gonna go too deep into this, I know it’s such a heavy topic and I don’t wanna seem like I just ignore it, but I personally don’t usually include Stephen directly in my stories, and this is why, I hope y’all understand and respect that! 

Ships and relationships:

my main Butters ship is Stutters (Stan x Butters) 

I mentioned a lot why in Stan’s headcanons? 

but idk, I just really think they’d balance each other well, and could have a very interesting and cute relationship! 

I usually headcanons him as pan or gay, and genderqueer, but I’m open for other interpretations too! 

he does date a little bit, but have never been in a real relationship and isn’t stressing about it! 

he did have a pretty huge crush on (a very unaware) Kenny during middle school, but then they started hanging out a lot more and became really close and Butters didn’t really bring it much thought?

that’s until Cartman gets jealous and throws out a “what are you guys dating and fucking and being gay huh???” and Butters mind immediately goes to “omg ew no he’s like my brother!” 

aaand that’s how Butters realized he was over his crush 

they two of them stay close friends tho, Kenny makes Butters laugh and helps him be more sure of himself and Butters helps Kenny remember that they’re still just kids and should have fun and be good

#south park #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #eric cartman #leopold butters stotch #sp stan #sp kenny #sp kyle #cartman #butters stotch #sp butters #south park headcanons #masterpost project #tokenny #sp tokenny #sp stutters #sp stenny #sp kyman #sp ships #txt

[let-me-love-you-loki]

Too Late for R & R Part 2

Part 2

           I ran into the hospital as fast as I could, for a moment forgetting that Matt was there. Somewhere in my head, I was aware of him hobbling along behind me, but the only thing I could think of was my daughter. My baby girl disappearing in an ambulance without me. Images of her as a baby, a toddler learning to walk, her first day at school… everything rushed through my mind in an instant. My breath caught in my chest, and I felt as if I were going to break into sobs at any moment.

           “Jackson,” I shouted, half breathless as I slammed up against the receptionist desk. “Jackson. She was brought in by ambulance just a few minutes ago.”

           The woman looked up, a half smile on her face. As soon as she saw the panic on my face, her smile faltered. “I’m sorry, what was the name again?”

           “Jackson. Mattea Jackson. She came in through emergency.” Matt appeared at my side, huffing, his cheeks red with exertion. He moved his weight, using his good leg and crutch to bear it.

           A moment later, we had directions to the emergency department waiting room. Brandon pushed Matt in a wheelchair while Adam and Kenny ran ahead with me. My heart jostled in my chest, not quite sure where it was supposed to land. It was moving too fast and too slow at once. If it weren’t for Kenny and Adam’s hands on my arms, I probably would have passed out before I made it to the waiting room.

           “It’s okay, Y/N,” Kenny said softly, not even winded from practically carrying my weight with one hand. “We’re almost there. Just a few more steps.”

           We rounded the corner and all I could see was Nick.

Nick

           The moment we got to the hospital, Mattie was rushed away from me. I followed behind as far as I could, listening to doctors talk about compound fractures and surgery and steel pins and head trauma. Panic churned my gut. I was sure I would puke any moment. Nurses pushed me into a chair, handed me a clipboard with information to fill out, permissions to sign to take her to surgery. For one brief instant, I was back in the delivery room with Y/N the day Ty was born. I was seeing her life bleeding out in front of me, panicked at the thought of losing her.

           I couldn’t imagine going through the same with my daughter.

           A doctor came out, sat down next to me, and told me that my daughter had to go through emergency surgery. She needed rods and screws in her leg to repair the break. Her arm wasn’t as severe, and they didn’t expect much damage with her head, but they would do further tests after they’d fixed her leg.

           He’d barely gone through the doors to the treatment rooms before I looked up and saw Y/N, Kenny and Adam on either side of her. She drew a deep breath and sank against our friends. Her face went pale as she stumbled across the waiting room toward me. I was on my feet before my next heartbeat, clutching her in my arms as she nearly collapsed against my chest.

           My wife’s fingers bunched in my shirt as I buried my face against her neck, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair and her clothes. The smell that meant home. That meant peace. She sobbed quietly, clinging to me with every ounce of strength in her body.

           “Where is she?” Y/N asked after a few rattling breaths.

           I kissed her temple and her forehead, squeezing her tightly. “She’s in surgery for her leg. She wasn’t awake when we got here—shock the doctor said. They put her on morphine in the ambulance.”

Matt

           Nick and Y/N practically collapsed against one another the moment they saw each other. I was desperately grateful for my brother, for the man who loved Y/N as much as I did. They had a bond now—a new, different one—born from the shared knowledge that Nick was Mattie’s birth father. It didn’t bother me. She was still my daughter in every single way that mattered. It made Nick happy. It made Y/N happy. It made Mattie happy.

           Nothing was more important than that.

           “Hey.” I reached for my brother, grabbing him by the forearm and pulling his attention from our wife. “How are you?”

           Y/N slipped her arm around his waist as if she could hold him up. Nick looked at me, and it was clear that he had been crying. His blue eyes were bloodshot and swollen. The end of his nose was red. His normally happy and smiling face was slightly grey, the corners of his mouth turned down.

           “Petrified,” Nick said after a moment, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. A bark of a laugh slipped out of him. He shook out his hand and looked at his knuckles. “Who knows, I might have broken something myself.”

           I sighed, knowing he wouldn’t do anything about it even if he had. Not until he was completely sure that Mattie was safe and healthy again. I looked toward Brandon, Adam, and Kenny. “Do you guys mind grabbing us something from the vending machines?” I went to reach for my wallet, but Kenny waved me off.

           “We’ll do better than that,” he said, gesturing to the other two. “Brandon will stay here with you in case you need anything. Adam and I’ll go get you something to eat. Are the kids okay?”

           Nick leaned his cheek against our wife’s hair. “They’re with Mom and Dad. I haven’t called them yet. There’s been so much…”

           “It’s okay,” Y/N said softly. “I’ll call them as soon as we hear something.”

           Adam and Kenny slipped out of the waiting room, giving us small smiles over their shoulders. Brandon sank down into a chair a little distance away, as if he were giving us space alone. I was grateful for his presence. He had been a friend for longer than we could remember, and it meant the world to us that he was here.

           “Thanks, Brandon,” I murmured in his direction. “For everything.”

           He smiled. “You’re family. Mattie is, too.”

Nick

           It was after midnight when someone came out to take us upstairs. Kenny and Adam had brought us McDonalds, and the six of us spread out in the OR waiting area. One by one, they passed out as midnight turned into one and then two. Kenny slept sitting straight up in his chair, head back against the wall. Adam was slouched down and stretched out, his legs crossed at the ankles in front of him. Brandon had given up and splayed out flat on his back on the floor. Y/N had curled up in Matt’s lap, her head settled against his shoulder. He kept his arms around her, his thumb stroking her arm every so often. My brother was bleary eyed, but he refused to go to sleep.

           I wasn’t doing much better to tell the truth. I was desperate to know something of how Mattie was doing, but no news came from the operating room. Every now and then I would go to the nurse’s desk, ask about my daughter, then go back to sitting and waiting, my heart falling a little further down in my chest each time.

           “Mr. Jackson?” The voice came from the doorway. Both Matt and I looked up to see a doctor standing there, still in his blue surgical scrubs.

           My brother cleared his throat, drawing the doctor’s attention. We’d decided against changing Mattie’s birth certificate, and I’d been named as an emergency contact who could make medical decisions for all of our kids. But Mattie was an adult now, and we were lucky the doctors were going to tell us anything.

           “We’re Mattie’s family,” Matt said with a worried smile and a wild gesture around the room.

           The doctor crossed the room and sank down into a crouch in front of us. Matt gently shook Y/N awake, and her eyes went wide at the sight of the doctor.

           “What’s happened? Is everything okay?” Our wife’s words spilled out in a rush of worry and doubt. “How is she doing?”

           “She’s out of surgery. As far as we can tell, everything went exactly as it should have,” he replied calmly. “The compound fracture was clean, which was helpful in piecing things back together. We’ve had to place a series of metal plates and screws around the fracture to help hold everything in place while her bone heals.”

           “How long will that take?” Matt asked. He scratched at his beard and wrapped his free arm a little tighter around Y/N.

           “It was pretty bad break, even if it was clean. Given the location and severity, I’d say she needs eight to ten weeks with a cast and the hardware. We can reassess afterward, but I think the hardware will have to stay put.”

           “What about her leg?” I queried, hearing the ache for my baby girl in the gravel sound of my voice.

           The doctor straightened up, crossing his arms over his chest. “Good news is that there wasn’t a break of any kind. She dislocated her knee and ended up with a total tear of her ACL. We’ve repaired that as well, but that’s a longer healing time…”

           “Nine months,” Matt said frustratedly. “And PT after. Her career is over before it started.”

           “Bullshit,” Kenny said from the corner. My head snapped around to see him awake and listening. “She’s got too much Bullet Club in her to quit.”

           I couldn’t help but grin. Y/N and I looked at one another, half smiling in our relief that Mattie was okay. My wife pressed a kiss to Matt’s forehead and said, “Looks like you and Tea are on r-n-r together.”

Tag List

@mox-made-me-do-it​ @not-that-kinda-gurl08​ @lilred91​ @imagineall-the-fandoms​ @maelleoute​ @librathepheonix13​ @justamess44​

#the too late tales #too late tales #matt jackson #matt jackson fanfiction #nick jackson #nick jackson fanfiction #young bucks #young bucks fanfiction #aew #aew fanfiction #matt x reader #nick x reader #matt x reader x nick #polyamory #polyamorous relationships

[zoefandom127]

this literally came up out of nowhere. I was thinking about this YJ fic i read a while ago when Artemis got poisoned then i started thinking about Mikasa's family line and how she has SUPER STRENGTH (don't try to argue with me, just let me believe what i want to believe lol) So i got to thinking and this is what came to be. This totally does not correlate with the plot and i think it may a little all over the place...but let's see how well i did!

The Durability of an Individual

She had never heard of another person with her last name. The last people she knew with the name Ackerman were her parents and her memory of them in her life was pretty short-lived.

Kenny the Ripper. Kenny Ackerman.

Captain Levi. Levi Ackerman.

Ackerman.

What a fucking family tree. She was related to an expert killer and a blunt, emotionless captain. Well, at least there's somewhat of a personality resemblance with Levi.

When Levi had finally brought Kenny into custody, she thought she'd get some answers. But the man was as silent as a dumbbell, refusing to say anything until his hearing. She'd been watching him be interrogated by Levi and Erwin and hoping for a little slip about her family.

Where are they from? Why were they persecuted? Where is everyone else? Anything would suffice her need to know. It had been a good ten minutes before her legs got tired and the fluorescent light started to burn her eyes. She made a beeline for the exit and was met with the afternoon breeze of Ehrmich.

"Hey." She turned to meet the voice and was met with the two boys who were always by her side.

"You okay?" Eren said with a worried expression at her dejected face. Of course, her face remained neutral but with a simple glance, he could always understand what she was feeling.

"Yeah, I just...I finally found my...I don't know what they are and—" Mikasa looked down at the floor she stood, suddenly finding the cracks in the stone pretty interesting. "I want to know more about myself. You know, where I come from, what I am, who my parents were." Her voice cracked at the end.

She felt an arm wrap around her waist and pull her body into the side of his. She heard Armin shuffle to her other side and place a comforting hand on her shoulder. Letting out a heavy sigh, Mikasa laid her head on Eren's shoulder.

She typically refused to think or talk about anything that involved her parents in fear of having the memory of that night replay in her mind. It still haunted her to this day though she wished it didn't. Not just her parent's death but the people she murdered. That was enough trauma to last a century.

Before she basked too long in the presence of her friends, a door opened only to reveal a stone-faced Levi.

"Ackerman." Mikasa quickly turned her head to salute her captain, feeling Armin and Eren do the same on either side of her. Levi waved them off and set his eyes on her. "You can try to get answers out of the bastard but I guarantee he won't budge. Good luck." Levi stepped aside to allow Mikasa to enter.

Hesitating, Mikasa strode through the door, hearing her friends shuffle in behind her. Making a left on the second door of the hallway she stood before the man who was her supposed "family". Her breath hitched when she saw him bloodied and bruised. Not that she had expected anything less, this has become the Scout's forte now.

Kenny lifted his head slowly, taking in the sight in front of him. He gave a wide, toothy smile and let out what seemed to be a laugh. "Really, kid? You gave up so you sent in the girl? I know I didn't raise a quitter."

Mikasa almost flinched when he yelled the last part. "I…" Mikasa pushed her shoulders back farther than they already were and made her face colder than it was before, "You're a part of the Ackerman clan. Tell me more about them."

"Heh. Not a lot I can tell you, kid. I don't know much more than you." Kenny spoke with a menacing tone, keeping his eyes firmly on her causing her to shuffle slightly on the balls of her feet.

"You don't know anything? What about where we're from? How we got scattered? What makes us able to do the things we do?" Mikasa almost sounded desperate. "Who we were? Just give me that much."

"Sorry. Beats me." Kenny smiled condescendingly and proceeded to look Mikasa up and down escalating her discomfort. "But...you do look familiar."

Mikasa's eyes narrowed at the outward thought. She'd never met him until now so what the hell could he possibly mean by that statement.

"Ah. I get it now. You're Linda and Jamun's daughter."

Mikasa tensed immediately. Her whole body stiffened and her eyes widened, the only indications that his words surprised her. "How did you—"

"You were the girls they were after. You know I dabbled in human trafficking myself, right Levi?" He nodded his head towards the expressionless man leaning against the wall next to the door. "A real doozy business. Quit after about 3 months. But for a short while, I became the commander. You know; calling all the shots, deciding who to kill and who to take."

Mikasa felt her fists clench and unclench repeatedly, trying to figure out where he was going with this whole spiel.

"I remember seeing the name 'Ackerman' on the list and thinking 'Huh, what a small world'. Honestly, I just wanted to test if these were true Ackerman's, you know? Strength and all. Of course my men, dumbasses I'll tell you, killed one too many. I asked the system the next morning why they gave me a group of incompetent shitheads and—"

"What are you saying?" Mikasa demanded, voice shaking.

Kenny seemed a little irritated at the interruption and looked at Mikasa through one not swollen eye like she asked the dumbest question ever. "My, my. You got one almost as dumb as you, Levi." Kenny smiled a menacing smile and gave Mikasa a look that sent chills down her spine. "I sent out the order to kill your parents."

Her feet went cold. Her heart started to beat hard against her ribcage that she thought it might bust out. There was a faint calling of her name from the hallway but she couldn't quite place the voice. She stood frozen in front of "The Ripper", his smile never wavering. Her nails dug into the palms of her hand as she tried to keep her composure but even she could feel her body trembling.

"Well, parent. Singular. Like I said those men were stupid as he—" Kenny didn't even get the full sentence out before a fist made contact with his face in record time and strength. A satisfying crunch filled the silence of the room. As soon as the first hit happened it didn't stop.

Punch after punch rained upon Kenny's body and with his hands tied firmly behind his back he was left defenseless. Usually, Mikasa was the calm one. She was always level headed and never one to fight unless it's needed. But something inside of her snapped. Either it was the careless way Kenny confessed to her parent's murder or the fact that this sick man was her relative; she had no idea. All she knew was that he was in front of her and he was punchable.

"Mikasa." She faintly heard Eren's voice caution her in the background but she didn't stop. The punches became faster and more forceful. She was blinded by rage, she didn't even notice Kenny loosening himself from his bindings.

She felt multiple hands attempt to pull her back but she shrugged them off with a strength none of them could attend to.

"Ackerman!" The commanding voice stopped her in motion, her fist suspended in mid-air. She turned her head to meet Commander Erwin's calm but serious eyes. "Leave."

Her fist throbbed as she slowly lowered her arm. The shaking in her body was less prevalent but still noticeable. Her face was etched in what seemed to be a dangerous scowl as she looked around the room.

She could feel everyone's gaze on her which only made her more uncomfortable. Armin gave her the same worried look he'd give Eren when he went off the rails. The concern that showed in Eren's face was almost alarming but she paid no attention to it.

Sparing one last glance at Kenny, Mikasa turned on her heels to leave the room. But before she could get too far, a strong hand grasped her wrist with an unyielding grip. The hand yanked her forcefully towards the body it was attached to and turned her so that her arm twisted painfully behind her back.

"Ah!" Mikasa let out a cry of pain as she wiggled to release herself but the hand only tightened more around her wrist.

It happened fast. Everyone stood straight in alert and turned their attention to Mikasa in a split second. Eren's eyes scanned the scene and narrowed in a frightening way.

"Now, now. Don't resist. It'll only hurt more. Right, Levi?" Kenny spoke, sadistically.

Mikasa struggled mercilessly against his grasp, almost releasing herself but Kenny simply reevaluated his grip and squeezed harder. Her strength wasn't going to get her out of this.

As for Levi, his eyes turned dark and colder than they already were. He was starting to get tired of Kenny addressing him as if he was still his caretaker. If you could even call him that.

Kenny was always one to have tricks up his sleeve. How had he not seen it sooner?

"Let her go," Eren growled, his eyes never leaving Mikasa.

"Aw, stop being so serious, kid. Learn how to smile." Kenny chuckled in Mikasa's ear. She nearly cringed at his breath.

Mikasa's wiggles became more violent but Kenny kept his hold firm. "She definitely has that Ackerman strength," Kenny muttered as he used one hand to try to keep Mikasa still and the other to reach into the back of his pants and pull out a syringe. The syringe was filled with a clear green liquid from top to bottom.

"Levi, you remember this? 'Only a true Ackerman with immeasurable strength can take this vial'," Kenny looked at the vial then shrugged. "Or whatever bullshit that bishop told me."

Kenny positioned the needle of the syringe inches before the skin of Mikasa's neck. Eren started to charge almost immediately at the older man but Levi pushed him and spoke first.

"What do you want?" Levi all but glowered at his Uncle. Huh. Never thought he'd be saying that.

Kenny's smile grew wider, showing his bloodied teeth. "Easy there, buddy. I just wanna see what the drug does. 'Course I'm not gonna test it out on myself. That would be dumb!" He moved the vial closer to Mikasa's neck. "Nah. Why not try it on someone I don't know."

"Wait!" Eren yelled. Kenny paused his movement. "Why does it have to be her? Can't you find someone else?"

"Sorry, but it has to be Ackerman blood that takes this thing, and unfortunately, no one else but me and my stupid nephew have it in this room. It's nothing personal. Just taking advantage of the opportunity I'm given...just like I taught you, Levi."

With that, Kenny plunged the syringe into Mikasa's neck. She jutted at the sudden insertion and scrunched her face in pain as she felt the liquid be injected into her body.

Loud noises of protest filled the room. Kenny had been ripped from behind her and shoved to the ground but the damage had already been done. He just laid there with a satisfied smile as guards began to point guns at his beaten body.

It was excruciating. The substance entered her and left a fiery, hot path as it passed through the blood in her body. Her knees buckled to the floor, suddenly feeling that her body was too heavy to hold up. The veins within her boiled beneath her skin and her senses became overwhelmed.

She suddenly became aware of every scent, every sound, and everything around her. Her heart thumped loudly in her ears. She didn't even notice how her bruised hands reached up to cover her ears and how a guttural scream ripped from her throat. Her eyes were scrunched shut in order to block out the dim light that illuminated the room, even with how dim it was it still blinded her. She heard her name get called repeatedly from the side of her as her back hunched over but it sounded so distant.

Her eyes flung wide open as she gasped for air that was all around but couldn't seem to be inhaled by her. Wavering on her knees, she slumped to the ground. Her eyes grew too heavy to keep open and the world spun around her.

Eren's face popped into her line of sight, the panic evident on his face. She could see his mouth moving but she didn't hear a thing. Suddenly too exhausted to keep up, Mikasa's eyes shut once again, finally succumbing to the darkness that enveloped her vision.

this was really fun to write! I'm not used to adding or rewriting plots and details like this tho so i'm not sure if it's good but i like it. hopefully you guys did too!

#levi ackerman #mikasa ackerman #aot fanfiction #aot #attack on titan #kenny ackerman #eren jaeger #armin attack on titan #aot headcanons #fanfiction

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

I loved last night's ep, and I completely understand Alex's very complicated feelings toward Kara, but I could have done without yet another redux of Alex blaming Kara for Jerimiah's "death". Like, the poor kid's only a few years out from the destruction of her entire planet and the death of every person she ever loved, maybe have some empathy for the fact that she's basically the walking personification of trauma and don't blame her for an adult who made his own damn choices

Well, what I was sort of trying to get at in my previous post is that while for us, the audience members, it is a redux, it’s not necessarily a redux for Alex and Kara (that we know of.)

Their conversation in “Midvale”, wherein Alex blames Kara for ‘every bad thing that’s happened to her’, occurs before Kenny’s death, so maybe it still happened.

...But, one could just as easily argue that it didn’t. We know that Kenny and Kara actually ended up kissing that night in this new timeline--maybe Kara stayed out a bit later as a result, so maybe Alex was well and truly asleep by the time Kara snuck back, and thus she didn’t yell at her!

Regardless of that particular detail, we do know that the rest of Midvale didn’t transpire, so Kara and Alex didn’t team up and bond during the investigation, and therefore didn’t reconcile by adventure’s end. This episode is the new conflict/reconciliation--Midvale 2.0. Which they need, because there is now a “Midvale”-shaped hole in the Earth-Prime timeline (the Earth Primeline, if you will.) They gotta plug it with a similarly-shaped peg.   

So while I understand that it can be frustrating as an audience member to feel like something is repeating/retreading on well-worn ground, (see: aaaaaaaalll of my feelings about season 5 XD) I personally don’t feel that way in this particular instance; to me, it read less like a redux, and more like a remix. Still, appreciate the message, and glad you enjoyed the episode overall! 

#stranger replies #SG post #supergirl season six spoilers #supergirl spoilers #Anonymous

[scullyy]

A Quiet Moment

Pairing: Clementine x Louis

Word Count: 2.5K

Summary: During her monthly hair cut, Clem and Louis both confide in each other about their deepest feelings.

A/N: I started this at around 12:50 am and finished it at 4 am (the power of a can of coke before lmao) buutttt it’s all for @castle-javier HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAISY!!!!!!! YOU’RE ALWAYS LISTENING TO MY RAMBLES AND DUMB HEADCANONS GO WISH HER THE BESTEST BIRTHDAY <3<3<3 I LUV YOU 

-

"Oh Looouis," That devilish yet melodic tune meant only one thing and both of them knew it. Louis glanced up from his book, raising a brow at this rare case of forwardness from her. "I need your help." There it was. Clementine knew when to turn on the charm and how to talk in such a delicate way that turned Louis into mush.

He closed the novel he was reading, wasn't captivating to begin with. He had read over the same page three times now, always losing himself to a stray thought. Besides, a task with Clementine is a more fruitful way to spend the day. "Anything for you my darling. What is it?"

Clem slowly unveiled her hands, revealing a tarnished pair of scissors. "Could you please cut my hair?" Her teeth were bared in the widest grin he had seen to date, puppy dog eyes in full effect.

"You know I can't say no to a face like that." And what a task this was! Clem usually cut her own hair, swearing every few minutes when she cut a piece too short, yet somehow she always came out of the bathroom looking as adorable as ever.

She tossed him the scissors before retreating back to the bathroom, immediately going back to inspecting her hair in the mirror, pulling at a stray curl. Clem didn't even want to consider how long it had been since she had last used shampoo and conditioner. Too long that was certain. Dirty hair was the norm. And it still smelled after all these years. Whoopee.

Louis interrupted the rare vanity he witnessed, leaning against the door in his typical nonchalant manner. Function over fashion for Clem, that was always the way. Seeing her fiddle with flat curls and knots pulled at his heart. At the end of the day she was still a young girl who wanted a decent haircut. "You ready for this?"

Clementines' hand clenched unknowingly, her teeth near the point of grinding. "Just...be careful. The last person who cut my hair fucked it up." She sat down on the rickety toilet seat, eyes focused on the mirror and definitely not on how Louis was wildly swinging the scissors around his finger.

"I'm a natural, been doing my own since I was a kid!" Louis ran his free hand through his dreads, even Clem had to admit they looked good and somewhat healthy. "Now trust the process. You asked me for help, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't cut it too short, okay? I like tying it up." Clementine pulled out her hair tie, wincing at the unevenness of it all. Goddamnit Javi. The curls on the longer side were near untameable, reminding her of how she once looked. Smiling ever so faintly at the memory, looking like a boy was now the least of her concerns.

Louis bit his tongue in an attempt to not laugh at her scrunched face. "Pinky promise, you'll still be able to use your hair...thingy."

"You mean hair tie?"

Louis eventually took the plunge and snipped off the first tattered curl, watching it fall to the ground. No going back now. "Yeah that. I use to have one but it snapped, guess it couldn't contain my luscious locks."

A shiver ran across the back of her neck as the cold metal glided against her skin. "Yeah, I'm sure that was it. I have a spare you can borrow," She dug around her jacket pocket for the mangy thing, soon finding it hiding beneath a flower she had plucked earlier that day. "Here, still pretty stretchy after all these years."

Louis held his hand out steady as she slid it over his wrist, the once purple dye now tarnished by specks of blood, dirt and other substances Louis didn't want to know of. "Damn, you've had this for a long time."

"I got them right as everything started."

Louis eventually found his groove with the scissors, secretly wondering if Clem would stab him if he gave her a mohawk. Perhaps Farrah Fawcett hair? "Who gave them to you?"

Her delayed answer nudged at his sympathy, a clear cut sign that Clementine had fallen back into old memories. "Lilly did. She said they would help keep my hair out of my face while I slept."

Louis had stopped mid-cut, letting the answer sink in as his own tormented memories of that woman came at full speed. "Oh. You don't really talk about her."

"There's not much to talk about." She chose to focus on the rapidly growing pile of hair on the floor, gliding it around the smooth tiles with the tip of her boot. It would be a bitch to tidy later, but that was a future Clem problem.

They continued in silence, the only sound being the sharp cut of the scissors every few seconds as Louis took his time, choosing to focus on the task at hand rather than the shared trauma both had been dealt by Lilly. "Sometimes I wonder what she was like, before the child kidnapping thing. Was she always a sociopath?"

Clem let out a laugh that Louis knew was fake. "No, she was normal. I guess a little angry, but who wasn't? Her dad certainly didn't help."

"Her dad? What was he like?"

"We were all hiding in this drugstore and her dad, like the grade-A asshole he was, threatened a kid."

"Yikes." Seems like hurting kids ran in the family.

Her shoulders fell deeply, snippets of hair sliding off her shirt. "Yup, he thought the kid was bit. He wasn't, just scared, like everyone else. I miss him sometimes."

"Who? The dad?"

"Fuck no, the kid. We called him Duck, he was the only other kid I had to talk to." Even if all he talked about was dinosaurs and comic books, it was a nice distraction from the world outside the motor inn. Before everything began to crumble.

"Was he cool?" Louis dared to question further, treading carefully on what he knew were sacred memories. Stories Clem had never shared with him, or anyone. The only glimpses he had seen were the aftermaths of her nightmares, the faces of past ghosts coming back to haunt her.

She hummed over her answer. "I suppose, kinda annoying and loud. Very loud. I put a bug in his pillow."

Louis couldn't help but chuckle. "You did what now?"

"I put a bug in his pillow, just a little spider. I don't know why I did that."

"You would have been the perfect candidate for a troubled youth school."

She lightly punched his chest, unable to contain her smile. "Hey! I was a good kid."

He feigned the agony from the punch, clutching his t-shirt in a death grip. "Sure, cause good kids always leave bugs on pillows and punch their boyfriends."

"It was in his pillow for the record."

The silence was no longer heavy like it was before. This time light, breathable. A change of pace from how it began.

"Her dad died in a meat locker." Clementine pursed her lips together as the unsettling story began to spill out of her. She had never spoken about it before, to anyone, choosing to let those memories fester and hide.

"A what?"

"A place where you store meat. Some of us were trapped inside, he had a heart attack and to stop him from turning Lee..." Her words became the mere wave of a whisper as her breathing grew quicker. She was still there; in the meat locker, in the jewellery store, at Howe's, on the boat. Always there, always trapped, unable to get out.

Louis briefly stopped cutting her hair, giving her his full attention instead. "Lee did what?" Some small part of him was afraid of the answer.

"He held Lilly back as Kenny dropped a salt lick on his head." She said it so calmly, too calmly. As if it was just an occupational hazard, a little story you tell to strangers to pass the time.

The scissors nearly slipped from his grasp. "Holy shit."

"Yeah, not fun." It was the moment she realised her world had changed, now forever starved for help. There was no going back.

He thought of one final question, the one question whose truth terrified him more than the others. "How old were you?"

"Eight."

Louis didn't dare test his luck any further, his curiosity reaching its limit. She was right, he had no idea what people were capable of behind the school walls. The things she had seen, the things she was forced to live through...he wished he could take it all away. Replace her horrid memories with calmer ones.

There was always their purple house.

As her hair got shorter and shorter, he began to cut slower and slower, not wanting their brief time together to end. After this, it's back to the grim world. Back to the endless fight. He was so lost in concentration he hadn't noticed Clem staring blatantly at his reflection for the past few minutes. He wasn't the only curious cat in the room.

"Whatcha thinking about now?"

"Wondering where I can find purple paint. For our house." He chirped. Talking about this dream house always put them both in a better mood, despite the likelihood of them ever seeing it was slim to none. It was their safe haven, a world away from this one where they could do whatever and be whoever.

"Ah, right. I haven't been able to come across any. We might have to consider a different colour."

Louis nearly choked on the very prospect, his hands waving around violently in disbelief, despite wielding a sharp blade. "Never! I am building you that house and it's going to be purple."

"Why so set on purple?"

He slowed to a near crawl, pondering over his word choice. "Well, you said at the party purple was your dads favourite colour. Take it as a gift of good faith, I am dating his daughter after all."

Clem could only hope there was enough hair left to hide her burning ears. "He would like you." She whispered just for him, despite being alone.

"You think so?" The glee in his voice was obvious, his posture straightening up.

"If he didn't I'd make him. He had a pretty good singing voice, I'm sure you'd sing duets together, driving both me and my mom crazy." If this were a normal world that is. Perhaps they would go to high school together, go to the movies, skip class or whatever it was teenagers would do. Hiding from walkers would be replaced with games of tag, repeated bowls of rice would become pizza and endless junk food.

"You okay?"

Her fantasy world gone before her eyes just as quickly as it appeared, Clem ran a hand over her shadowed face, repressing the tears that always threatened her when she considered all that could have been. "I miss them."

"Sorry, shouldn't have brought them up." Louis kissed the top of her head, hoping it would soothe her subtle trembling. The original task of cutting her hair now gone from both their minds as they basked in this secret grief. A grief they both knew the other felt, grief for a world long gone from their grasp.

Her hand slid over the top of his, intertwining their fingers, her thumb tracing each line and callous present. Memorising everything about him. "No, it's fine. Really, I'm glad I can talk to you about them."

He squeezed her hand, letting this moment sink into his heart. It was moments like these he would turn to on his more difficult nights, where monsters pulled themselves out of every dark corner. She was a light, protecting him in more ways than she knew. "You wanna know a secret? Sometimes I'm thankful for the apocalypse."

"You're what now?"

"Think about it. You used to live in Georgia, we probably never would have met had you not needed to bounce between cities for survival," He spoke gently into her hair, never breaking away from her. "I know we've lost people, I've made plenty of mistakes, but if going through all that meant I got to meet you, you best believe I'd do it all again."

And there it was, a confession that completely destroyed and rescued both of them.

Clementine couldn't bear to look at him, for her own self-restraint lest she become a puddle of tears. Grabbing onto the lining of his coat, she pulled herself into his inviting arms, burying her head in the warm crook of his neck. "You always talk about how you're the lucky one," Swallowing the strong lump within her throat, she bore her heart to him. "You may not have been the one to drag me out of that car crash, but you saved me that day and continue to every day since. It's always been the other way around."

His words got caught somewhere between his heart and his mouth, an amalgamation of thoughts moulding together in his mind. He stood there, unsure of when he had dropped the scissors and his arms had clung to her waist, gripping her tighter than before. The two fit together like pieces of a puzzle, completing each other. "Well...I think that's just about the most romantic thing anyone has ever told me," They both laughed in unison, now admiring each other's soft eyes. Their arms still wrapped around the other, not wanting to depart just yet. "Thank you, Clementine. Perhaps we're both lucky."

He planted a chaste kiss to her nose as their foreheads collided, his fingers drawing intricate circles on her lower back. "You're right," Her voice now back to a whisper only meant for his ears. "I don't want a normal world if it means you're not apart of it."

They could have remained within that tiny bathroom holding each other for a lifetime. Instead, they both let their young love mend the cracks of their past. His heart thumped from deep within, echoing in her ear. The slow, rhythmic beat had lulled her to sleep many nights. Even his heart made beautiful music.

"I have one last question for you," Clementine asked, no more traces of pain or regret laced within her words.

Louis glanced down at her, marvelling at their height difference. "Go ahead."

She beamed up at him, her chin prodding his chest. There was that devilish gleam in her eyes once again, unmatched by her innocent smile. "Does my hair look bad?"

#twdg #the walking dead game #the walking dead game season four #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdgs4 #telltales the walking dead #twdg clouis #twdg louisentine #clem x louis #twdg fanfic #twdg s4 #clouis #louisentine #fanfiction #scullyy #YAY DAISY #<3 #clouis gang

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I Need to Talk About “Problematic Faves” within TWDG [1/?]

You know what I love about TWDG and its characters...? 

How flawed they all are.

I’m not talking that they’re flawed in the stupid “My biggest problem is that I love too gosh darn much!” or “My defining character flaw is that I’m super clumsy lolz!” I mean that practically every single character we’ve met across these games has done at least one terribly awful thing. 

That includes all of our favorite characters. 

It doesn’t matter who your favorite character is. They have done at least one terrible thing within these games, if not many. 

This can include theft, murder, assault, using racist slurs/being racist in general, different acts of violence using weapons, verbal abuse, lying, sacrificing others for themselves, property damage, assisting in suicide, abandonment, and many other things that potentially result in the harm of others or themselves. 

We don’t like to think that our favorite character could ever do any of these things, or if they did, they have an excuse for why they did it.

Take Clementine for example. We all love Clementine. We’ve all been with her since the beginning, we’ve all watched her grow, and we’ve all morphed her into the person she is by the time s4 ends. 

But when you look at Clementine, as well as some of her actions and behaviors across the series, through a completely unbiased lens, it’s not hard to throw a certain overused word at her. 

“Problematic”

Clementine has killed several people. Most of them were in defense, but there are certain kills that are hard to defend or justify. 

My favorite example to use is when she shot the asshole who traded her bad bullets then asked Javi to lie for her. It’s easy to say, “Well, she didn’t mean to do it! She thought the bullets wouldn’t fire! Besides, that guy WAS the asshole who sold her the bad batteries and attacked her!”

Okay, fine. But that doesn’t mean diddly squat. 

Clementine knows better than to point a gun at someone she doesn’t have any intention of shooting. That was one of the first lessons Lee taught her, and it’s even a lesson she taught Sarah in s2. Clementine pointed the gun at him and fired anyway, which is WHY he got up and ended up attacking Javi. Then, Clementine shot the gun again, but this time it actually fired and killed him. She knew she fucked up, but the deed was done and she murdered that man. 

Clementine is just one of many characters who we could throw that phrase “Problematic Fave” at. At the end of the day, I could argue that every single favorite character within TWDG would fall into this category at some level, whether it be low or high. 

Even characters who we baby like “Oh precious child who has never done anything wrong in their life!” have an argument that can be made against them. 

Well, okay, except Rosie.

Rosie is the one exception I’ll allow. Even though she’s not a person, she’s a dog, but I still consider her a character. 

But, Clementine’s different. She’s our protagonist, therefore, it’s much easier to explain her actions or make excuses for what she does. Hell, a good chunk of her actions are made by us, so if she does something “wrong,” then we’re to blame for making that choice as her, further developing her character with the use of that choice. 

What about the characters who aren’t our playable protagonists? 

What about the major and side characters who have made poor decisions? The characters that we’ve thrown this label of “Problematic Fave” at more than others? The characters we’d consider “villains,” or in the very least “antagonistic.” 

What about the characters under those labels that we end up loving, and even defending, despite the terrible things they’ve done or said? Despite groups of others in the community saying that it’s wrong to like these characters?

Today I want to talk about those characters who are higher on the “Problematic Fave” tier list, and get to the bottom of WHY we love them. 

It’s not wrong for us to like these characters. 

Let’s get that out of the way right off the bat.

It’s not wrong to enjoy or love an antagonist, or a morally complex/gray character. I argue that everyone has an antagonist that they love, whether it be within the twdg universe or otherwise. 

I’m not here to shame anyone for liking a character who happened to be labeled under this “Problematic Fave” term by others who like to throw it around to start fights. 

If anything, I’m letting know that it’s totally okay to love these characters as long as you’re being safe about it. As in, you’re not excusing these bad behaviors while acting like these unhealthy things are okay when they’re clearly not.

Now... maybe you’re wondering WHY this is something that I feel I NEED to talk about. What brought this up and whatnot. 

I need to talk about this because I have a problematic fave and it’s bothered me for a long time. 

Before I get started, we should all be on the same page of what defines a “Problematic Fave,” since it’s a phrase that I’ll use throughout this whole thing.

 If you go to Google and search this term, this is the definition it’ll bring up: 

Very vague. And when I asked you guys:

It’s an easy enough term to understand. We all get the general idea. 

The problem is, like I mentioned before, every single character within this TWDG universe is problematic at some point. They’ve all said hurtful things, they’ve done hurtful things.... it’s the apocalypse! 

But there are a handful of characters who end up getting this thrown at them WAY more than any other characters. Not just “villain” characters either, like the St. Johns or Lilly, but characters who seem to have more gray coloring to them, those who are more antagonistic, who make more poor decisions, who get others killed or hurt, who display unhealthy behaviors. Those who we can’t quite put our fingers on if they are “good” or “bad.”

I’m sure that at least one character has popped in your brain as you’ve read thus far.

Let’s talk about the popular ones:

Kenny 

In my opinion, Kenny is... well, he's problematic. Whether you love or hate him, you have to admit that a lot of his actions over the course of seasons 1 and 2, though mostly 2, are harmful. 

I’m one of those people who don’t love or hate him. I’m more on the dislike side when it comes to s2 Kenny, but I can see why someone would love or hate him overall. 

On one hand, he IS an interesting character to take the time to study. His character tells us a lot about what happens to a normal, nice family man thrown into the apocalypse who loses everyone he’s ever loved, including his only child, his wife, and what happens when that family man has to keep going with the world trying to beat him down. 

He has his kind moments. He clearly cares about Clementine and AJ, but his behavior and actions, if not kept under control, could lead to disaster. They DO lead to disaster, since no one can stand to be around him, leading to everyone abandoning him, and in turn, abandoning Clementine and AJ. 

All of the weight of what’s happened to him has left him angry and violent. He lashes out at Clementine after Sarita’s death, going as far as to BLAME Clementine for it regardless of her choices. He isolates her from the group, becomes possessive the moment they meet back up again, and picks fights when he shouldn’t, which result in harm to her and others. He beats the shit out of Arvo in front of everyone as if he’s right in physically harming this disabled kid because of the situation they all find themselves in. 

In the end, if you actually have Clementine shoot him, he tells her and the player that “you made the right choice,” as if he knows he’s been such an antagonistic character that it’s only right that he die. 

The end to every good story has the so-called “bad guy” die... right?

Kenny is an obvious example of a favorite character being problematic, if not THE most obvious. He has so many people who love him, and just as many who hate him. 

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard or witnessed arguments about Kenny and this phrase was thrown around with other words like “toxic” and “abusive” yada yada. 

It makes sense to me that someone would question why Kenny would be another’s favorite character just as it makes sense that someone would love him. 

It all depends on how you see him and if you’re mature enough to accept and understand his trauma, unhealthy behaviors, and overall character [the good and the bad] for what it is. He’s a broken man, but it doesn’t give him an excuse to lash out at those he’s supposed to love and protect. 

What really gets me is that Kenny is loved by so many people and they’re vocal about it, probably even more vocal than those who hate him. And I’m not shaming you. 

The kind, mature Kenny stans of our community aren’t afraid to express their love for this character. They know who he is, and they’re willing to discuss him with others who love him, as well as with those who don’t in a calm manner. This is something I highly respect and thought deserved acknowledgment.

I have a point to mentioning this, because with my problematic fave, I have never openly admitted to how much I like this character because I was always scared of the potential hate that could be thrown my way. I mean, whenever I search this character, there’s a lot of shade being thrown around. 

Then times changed, my blog grew bigger and I became more confident in sharing my opinions and views, as well as discussing several positive and negative aspects of TWDG with all of you. 

Now, this isn’t just applicable to Kenny, either.

Of the characters who fall higher on this “Problematic Fave” tier list we’ve somehow acquired, there are a lot of people who absolutely adore Minerva. 

Marlon-

Even Lilly has people who love her-

Hell, there are people who SWEAR by 400 Days’ Nate. 

^THIS crazy bastard! 

I was even shocked to see there are a handful of people who really like Arvo, too!

Before we continue, I do want to reiterate that I’m not coming for anyone who likes Kenny, Minerva, or any of the other characters mentioned above. I want to make that clear in case I say something pertaining to these characters that you take offense to. Well all know how easy it is to be offended on here. Besides, I’m not one to judge given that I have my own problem character that I love and y’all are gonna judge me anyway, so let’s just chill. 

This whole idea of why we love these characters is fascinating. 

If we ever met these people in real life, we wouldn’t be so quick to love them and we know it. But, because they’re fictional and put out there for us to analyze and talk about with one another, we find ourselves attached to them.

I simply want to understand why. 

Now that we have a list of the more popular characters who fall into this tier, I’ll be using them as examples throughout the rest of these posts. 

However... before we get into that, I’m sure you’ve noticed that I haven’t told you who MY problematic fave is and why. 

Well, allow me to enlighten you because, even though I’m using Kenny, Minerva, ect. as examples, this character will be my MAIN example. 

Time to come out and admit it. 

...

...

...

It’s David.

I really like David.

I even dare admit that I.... kind of love him?

Why, you ask....?

David is a character I’ve rarely talked about.

The only time he ever seems to come up is when we’re talking about Livid, and we all know how that one goes. 

Even when we talk about ANF as a whole, it’s usually a discussion about Emo Clementine or how Gabe should’ve had a better character arc or just how gosh darn gorgeous Javi is or how Conrad is actually the best character and totally should’ve been a romance option because Javrad is the true OTP of ANF.

But that’s a topic y’all aren’t ready for.

Anyway.

I know that there are those out there who, like me, like David for what he is and his character development throughout ANF. I’m not going to act like I’m the one person in the world who likes him because I can’t be. 

However, it seems like every time I get an ask that involves David [and isn’t Livid] is hateful or otherwise negative a good 95% of the time.

That, on top of being a predominantly s4 blog, is why I haven’t talked much about David or admitted that I like him as much as I do.

But now the cat’s out of the bag.

CJ has a hidden love for David Garcia.

It’s true. This jerk is my big problematic fave.

And I can already hear it now: 

“CJ, how can you actually like David after he treated everyone so poorly and took AJ away from Clem?”

Oh, I don’t know... how can anyone love Kenny after the way he treated everyone so poorly and was a real prick to Clementine after Sarita’s death? 

Why does anyone love Minerva after she got Tenn/Louis/Violet KILLED and Clementine bit? 

Why does anyone like Nate, who literally murders an old, wounded couple and is overall an insane son of a bitch?

That’s why we’re here, ya dingus.

To figure this out. 

In preparation for this, I actually went and did some digging on what people think of David. I thought, “Maybe I’ll find some character analysis’ or posts that share my thoughts.” 

After reading a bunch of threads about him on various websites, I concluded that 99% of them look the same:

[ Also, where are these people who support David against Clementine? Because I did not find them, random person on wikipedia. I must not be looking in the right places. All I found were Kenny defense posts on your David thread. Riddle me that, random person on wikipedia whose name I scribbled out but just realized I missed the “edited by” rendering the scribble pointless!]

This did nothing but increase my anxiety about making this whole post because I’d rather not have paragraphs like this sent to my inbox for the next twenty years. 

But, I’m doing it anyway. Obviously. 

I have a real love-hate relationship with David, in case you couldn’t tell.

I should hate David. I really should.

I mean, I don’t like Kenny, and I fucking loathe Lilly. They’re two characters that have a lot in common with David, so logically, you’d think that I’d group him in with them and hate his dumb face. 

But I don’t. 

Even though David is an asshole. 

He likes to do things that really piss me off, then turn around like “I can’t change because I’m a soldier” as if changing and not doing bad things is completely impossible for him!

David breaks a grieving woman’s arm after her husband dies, takes AJ away from Clementine after kicking her [a 13-year-old] out of their group by herself, gets more upset over how his glass got broken than over his wife’s cut hand, constantly fights with and puts Javi down, barely mourns Mari’s death, and a number of other things.

I know change is hard, David, and you have a lot of trauma from being a soldier, but that’s not an excuse to do bad things! I firmly believe that with enough effort, love, and support, you can slowly get better! I really hate you, you infuriating man!

But I also love him.

....But I also really hate him.

Do you see my dilemma?

And y’know what? I got plenty to say about all the things he’s done. 

David is a fascinating character. 

Even now, going back up and rereading what I wrote, I have to urge to jump in and be like “Well, okay, I actually have a theory on why he did that...” as if I’m ready to defend him from myself. How does that work?! 

Well, okay, not necessary defend him in the way of justifying why he’d break that woman’s arm or anything, but instead show that he’s a gray character who is much more complex than people give him credit for. I have the urge to explain David’s character as a matter of character analysis and discussion, not pretend he didn’t do anything wrong or make excuses for his unhealthy and problematic behaviors.

Does that sound familiar?

David Garcia is to me what Kenny is to a lot of people.

I have a theory on why he married Kate in the first place when they clearly weren’t compatible as a couple! I have theories on why he was quick to boot Clementine out but look the other way when Lingard got high on their meds! Explanations of why having him and Gabe alive in the end is the better ending!

oh god everyone is going to hate me haha-

I have it all, and maybe one day I’ll sit down and write an entire in-depth character analysis of David if anyone is actually interested, but right now I just want to understand why I like to him in the first place because it makes no sense.

Since day one, it’s boggled my mind as to WHY I’ve always found myself leaning in favor of David. 

With every episode that came out after e2, David was the character who always piqued my interest and I found myself wanting to side with him just to see what would happen. Why did I still like him even though he kept doing things that I knew were wrong? Or that pissed me off?

Why was I furious when I reached my ending only to have David end up dead?

Why was I so pissed that this character, who drove me INSANE for most of the game, died?

Is it because I see a part of myself in him? Is it because of his character design, the performance of his voice acting, and his overall writing? Does it have anything to do with his backstory and relationship with Javi? Is it because I’m actually one of those people who see someone like this and think “hey I can fix you!” but don’t know it? What is it?

Why is David Garcia my “Problematic Fave” of TWDG?

Continued in [2/?]

#long post #super long post #please let the [keep reading] thing work #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg violet #twdg kenny #twdg aj #twdg marlon #twdg brody #twdg minerva #twdg lilly #twdg david #twdg javier #twdg arvo #twdg nate #twdg sarita #twdg conrad #twdg gabe #this whole thing has been a journey let me tell you #as i mentioned previously i'm curious to hear your thoughts on this #the rest of the parts will be up sometime tomorrow #after i look through any feedback #there'll either be 4 or 5 parts #we'll see how long they are and how they fit

[anotheronechicagobog]

The Heroic Heralds of the Hermann Horde

Part 1

written by: @anotheronechicagobog​

Warnings: swearing, tension, parental issues

 A/N: You should read my fic ‘Tylenol and Tequila’ part three for some relationships to make sense but it can be read without having done so, the story focuses mainly on the Hermann family (or Hermann Horde as I have dubbed them) but there’s some stellaride and upstead in here as well.

Being one out of five kids was exhausting. There were pros and cons that they all had to deal with. Lee Henry, Luke, and Annabelle got new clothes, Lee Henry because he was the oldest, Luke because hand me downs were too worn when they got to him, and Annabelle because she was the only girl. Kenny, Luke, Max, and Annabelle got away with pretty much everything because they didn’t have to set an example (and the only times they did get in trouble usually had more to with a bad call their dad had than anything else). Kenny was unintentionally favoured by their dad more because he has made it very clear he wants to be a firefighter like his dad. Max was favoured by their mom because of his traumatic birth. Kenny, Luke, and Max were closer because Lee Henry was the firstborn and not only had Cindy and Christopher decided to wait a few years before having more kids but also because he had to be the responsible older brother/third parent most of the time, his parents hadn’t intended for that to happen and they felt guilty about it sometimes, but they needed his help and made sure he got at least an hour of free time (this didn’t include homework or chores) a day. Annabelle felt left out frequently because she was the only girl and while she didn’t fit the girly girl mould, she just didn’t share a lot of interests or societal problems with her brothers. So the Hermann’s were their own unique brand of love and chaos, and they were alright with that. 

Lee Henry had gotten a part-time job for Friday nights and weekends as a lifeguard. People liked to joke that lifesaving ran in the family, but that wasn’t the case. Lee didn’t want to ever rush into a burning building, he never wanted to let worry and fear linger over his family’s heads day after day. Wondering if every unexpected knock on the door or phone call was a death notice or call to the hospital. He didn’t resent his dad for his career, but it had affected a lot of his life choices. The reason he became a lifeguard was because when he was 10, almost 11, his dad fell through the floor of a burning building.

He remembers the phone ringing, wondering if it was Susan from his granna’s quilting club, or Kraken (Karen) from the PTA. His mom answered with a cheerful hello but when she made no other noise and the room suddenly felt thick, he looked up, and he saw his mom’s face. She had gotten so pale he could see her veins, her eyes were wet and had sunken in, her mouth moving like she was screaming so loud it would shatter windows but nothing was coming out, and then she collapsed. Her knees just gave out underneath her. Lee jumped up to try and keep his mom from falling on the floor. He was too weak to catch her so they landed together on the hardwood together with a thump. She still couldn’t say anything, she started shaking, so Lee grabbed the phone. “-Ms. Hermann? Are you still there? Did you hear me? Your husband fell through the floor of a burning building, he’s on transport to the hospital-”

“In ambulance sixty-one?”

“... I’m sorry who am I speaking to?”

“Lee Henry Hermann, son of Christopher and Cindy Hermann. Is my dad being taken to the hospital in ambulance sixty-one?”

“Yes, but I should really-”

“Which hospital?”

“Lakeshore medical centre, I should really speak to-”

“We’re on our way.” He hung up, remembering the words his dad has said to him a thousand times, ‘if you’re in a dangerous situation do everything you can to stay calm, you can make things worse if you panic’. “Hello, yellow taxi? I need a cab to take five people, one adult and four kids, to Lakeshore medical centre. My Dad got hurt and mom can’t speak.” It was a flurry of running and car seats and firefighter turn out gear that wasn’t his dad’s. That wasn’t cool anymore. That he couldn’t stand to look at or smell. So when no one was looking he got up and, calmly, walked to a closet. He walked inside, closed the door, and let it all out. He cried, muffled his screams with his forearms. He ruthlessly scratched his arms, and hit himself. In the head, chest, thighs, feet. He knew right then, from the look on his mother’s face, from the grimness behind uncle Randy’s eyes, from the tearing feeling in his chest, he could never do it. He could never be a firefighter.

When he returned to the group, his long-sleeved shirt was rolled down and he’d stopped at the bathroom before heading to the cafeteria to make sure he looked okay. He was carrying two plastic bags that were filled to the brim with sandwiches and water bottles. He was spotted by uncle Randy first. “Lee Henry! There you are, what’ve you got there?”

“Some food and water, I figured we’d all need something to eat and drink, we might be here a while after all.”

“Yeah... Hey, I heard that you helped get everyone here, and you’ve been really calm and level-headed throughout this whole thing. You’ve done really well, why don’t you sit down and we’ll keep you company til we hear some news about your dad? Severide can pass around the grub, okay?” Severide made his way over to the oldest Hermann child and gave him a proud smile. “I for one, am not even remotely surprised that you’re so calm. Your old man is a firefighter, remaining calm in stressful situations and helping others is in your blood. Should we be expecting another Hermann at 51?” Lee felt his heart sink into his gut, but thankfully Boden called for all the members of 51 to have a talk in one section of the ER before Lee could answer.

Lee took one last walk around the pool, to make sure he hadn’t missed any puddles or items when cleaning the deck while the last of the stragglers got out of the pool and the stands when he heard a loud crack. He whipped his head around and found a teen about his age lying on the floor at the bottom of the stands. He rushed over and methodically went over his injuries, calling out orders to the other lifeguards and people around him. He and Kylie got the guy on their backboard and his neck stabilized. The paramedics arrived quickly. “Lee Henry?”

“Hey Brett, so we have a teenage male, unsure of age or name, with a head laceration, possible neck trauma, and loss of consciousness. He fell off the stands and hasn’t so much as opened his eyes, one of the other lifeguards went through the change rooms to see if there was anyone waiting for him but they couldn’t find anyone. I noticed him come in a couple of hours ago, but he didn’t socialize with or appear to have come with anyone. He just came in and sat down at the top.”

“Alright, well you did a good job, we’ve got it from here.”

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The next morning he was met by his dad, smiling from ear to ear. ”There's my boy.” Christopher began patting Lee Henry on the back. ”Brett said you were amazing, guess you'll be joining me at 51 pretty soon, huh? And tonight we are going to celebrate, the entire firehouse is coming over and we're gonna do a pot luck.”

Lee Henry couldn't get a word in edgewise, just sighed as his dad walked away, over the moon. Lee Henry finished getting ready under the concerned eyes of his mother, who had witnessed the tension in his shoulders and fine line his lips went into. ”Are you okay, honey?”

”Yeah, I'm great. I'll see you after work.” He gave his mom a kiss on the cheek, grabbed his duffle and headed for the station.

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Lee felt his stomach sink when he recognized the extra cars cluttering the street in from of his house. He rolled his shoulders back at the sound of heavy laughter coming from inside, knowing it was better just to face it head on. He was met with the smell of various kinds of foods, and was met with the sound of rowdy firefighters. ”Hey Herm, the guest of honour had finally arrived. Lee Henry, come over here!”

”Hey guys.” Lee spent the next two hours, after working a 10 hour shift of a labour intensive job, bearing everyone’s comments about the ’next generation of Hermann firefighters’, and constantly being pulled away from the food table! Donna made pallea and his mom made brownies! He just wanted to eat!

He was tired, hungry, and emotionally worn out when uncle Kelly pulled him aside. ”Hey, Lee, I didn't want to say this to your dad before you, but I made a couple calls, and was able to get you a spot at the academy for next fall if you want it. It'll be great-”

”I don't want to be a firefighter.”

”What?”

”I haven't since I was ten.”

”Lee, you don't have to-”

”I... It's just a personal choice.”

”But your dad... He thinks you want to be a firefighter.”

”He never lets me get a word in, just rambles until he has to leave for shift or Molly's.”

”What do you want to be then?”

”A doctor.”

”Ha, you’re a healer not a smokeater, huh?”

”Don’t laugh, you'll need someone to fix up your self-destructive ass when you fall through a floor in a burning house.” Lee just couldn't take it anymore, his emotions had boiled over, so he’d snapped. And now he needed to leave so that he didn't have to watch his uncle put all the dots together right in front of him.

----------------------

He was hungry and in need of comfort. Both from food and people. So when Kylie jogged out of his house after him, he was grateful. They caught the el downtown and went to Bartolli’s, a favourite restaurant of the Hermann’s. ”You were pretty loud, when you were talking to Kelly, just so you know.”

He sighed. ”I figured. I texted my mom before we got to the station, told her where we were going, mostly to avoid her worrying, but I fully expect someone to show up.”

”It does seem like something anyone at 51 would do, they are very involved in each other's lives.”

”Hey, you've been dealing with this for a few months, I've been dealing with it my whole life.” Their conversation flowed freely, mixed with milkshakes and deep-dish pizza. 

”Do you know what you want to do when you get out of high school?”

”Definitely something that helps people, but I don't think I want to be a firefighter either. Kelly and Stella worry about me just going to school, I can't imagine how they'd feel if I was running into burning buildings! They'd probably only be okay with it if I was at 51 with them, and while I love them, I don't love them that much. I think something in law.”

”The only issue for us is how to pay for all that.”      

“We could join the military, but that does kinda defeat the purpose of not being firefighters...”

“Lee Henry? Kylie?”

“Detective Upton and Halstead, hi.”

“What are you two doing here? I thought that 51 was celebrating a big save you made.”

“Yeah, but it just ended up being a firefighter thing, you know how it goes, especially because apparently, you guys do the same thing.”

“Yeah, we do...”

“Well,” Halstead gave a smirk and a nod, “you two enjoy your pizza.”

“Thanks,” Kylie piped up, having not spoken much with the detectives, “and you two have fun on your date.” Lee and Kylie turned to go back to their meal, but noticed the frozen body language and panicked expressions of the two adults. They looked at each other, concerned, before Lee decided to bite the bullet. “Uh, guys? Are you okay? Should we call the other Halstead?”

“We’re not dating.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“... Yesssssss.”

“You don’t sound so sure.”

“Have a nice night kids.” Upstead (what they were to be referred to as according to his mom) turned and bolted out of the restaurant, blushes and pizza in tow. “I really hope that they sort out their feelings, it’s getting a little exhausting and I don’t even spend that much time around them!”

“Amen to that.”

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When Lee returned home it was late, and only the porch and living room lights were on. He entered the quiet house alone, having dropped Kylie off at her apartment before returning home himself. He locked the door, turned off the porch light, and went straight to the living room knowing that it was better to face his dead head-on than beat around the bush. “Dad.”

“Lee Henry.”

“We need to talk.”

“Apparently we do.”

“I don’t want to be a firefighter.”

“Well, I heard that pretty loud and clear. It was too loud to miss. You know I just don’t understand-”

“October 10th, 2012.”

“Excuse me?”

“You and uncle Matt fell through the floor of a burning house. Your ADSU went off cause the fall knocked you unconscious. I’ve heard Gabby say that that was one of the scariest days of her life. And I remembered you comforted her when she visited you in the hospital. But you didn’t comfort me-”

“Lee-”

“No. Let me speak for once. I was ten years old. And I had to call the cab company, and get everyone in the car, and keep everyone together, and make sure everyone was eating, and check-in with the nurses about your condition, and get school stuff organized for Luke, Max, and Annabelle, and make all the meals for a week, and get Granna and Grandad on an earlier flight back to Chicago, and manage your medication because mom was too stressed to. Your voice was ringing through my head the entire time, ‘if you’re in a dangerous situation do everything you can to stay calm, you can make things worse if you panic’. All that I was told that miserable week was that I was destined to be a firefighter like you. But I was just listening to you, and I realized that being a firefighter was the absolute last thing I want to be when I get older. I had always known in the back of my mind that your job was dangerous, but it didn’t hit me until that day, not even when uncle Andy died. I just... I had my blinders ripped off, and I can’t ignore the terror I feel every time you leave for work. And I see mom and the others feel it too now that there have been more close calls, and I can’t do it. I want you to know that I don’t resent you for it in any way, but I can’t do that to my friends and family. I can’t let the people in my life feel like they’re saying goodbye to me every time I go to work. And I’ve tried to tell you, but I can never get a word in.”

“I tend to do that apparently. Look, I’ll admit there’s a part of me that’s always wanted you kids to follow in my footsteps, but that is a very small part of me. I am actually really happy that you don’t want to be a firefighter because I know that I don’t have the strength to worry about you or any of the others day after day. It takes a special breed of people to do that, and I don’t come from it. If you want to be a doc, that’s great. I know that you’re more than capable and I’m really proud of you for being able to recognize that. I’m also really sorry. That you had to be so brave so young. Need you to know that I love you, that I am so proud of you, and that I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you as much as I should have been.” Lee had never, ever, seen his dad cry. Christopher Hermann was always strong and firm. But here he was crying in front of his eldest son, exposing all of his vulnerable emotions to him. Cindy found them forty minutes later full-on bawling and clinging to each other as though their lives depended on it. Finally making peace with each other.

#One Chicago #Chicago Fire #Christopher Herrmann #cindy hermann #lee henry hermann #stella kidd #Kelly Severide #stellaride #stella x kelly #kelly severide x stella kidd #hailey upton #hailey x jay #jay halstead x hailey upton #jay halstead #upstead