#the irony is like im not even going 2 drink if i make it in there LETMEIN

[sheyshocked]

Baby It’s All Just Chemistry (2/?)

Chapter title: Medic Has the Bloodiest Hands

Summary: Chemist meets the Medic and things go south very quickly.

Fandom: Team Fortress 2

Ship: Scout/Original Female Character (main), Heavy/Medic (minor), RED!Demo/BLU Soldier (minor) - all in later chapters

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, open-heart surgery

A/N:  Me: “I need to look up something about the Cold War, Interpol, and a Berlin Wall for my fic.” My bro: “Eh… and don’t you mind that it takes place in canon where New Zealand sank to the bottom of the ocean, Australians are superheroes with bushy mustaches, and where Tom Jones was killed off twice?” Me: “…I just think it’s neat.”

Previous chapters: 1 |

You can also read it on ao3!

Fate, if there was indeed such a thing, had a strange sense of humor. How else could Chemist explain that not even a week ago, she was waiting on death row, and now? She had a well-paid job, a roof over her head far from the greedy hands of the communist party, and as a bonus from her generous employer, a bunch of guinea pigs to take care of. Sure, most of her new coworkers seemed rather… unusual, but other than that?

It was an odd turn of events, but not an unwelcome one.

Trying to keep up with Spy and his oh-so-long legs was a losing fight. Not nearly as bad as when she walked with Scout, but at least the buck-teethed youth slowed down every now and then to let her catch up with him. Sure, she could have just asked Spy to do the same… but she didn’t want any of those guys to think she was weak right off the bat. They were all trained killers, and from what she had gathered from her talk with Miss Pauling, weren’t half-bad at their job.

Better not to let them think she would make an easy target.

They chatted a lot on their way, both in Czech and in English. It seemed like Spy had a real talent for languages. Any tongue he switched to sounded nearly immaculate if it weren’t for his prominent French accent. It was pretty impressive, to be honest.

She thought her language skills were also nothing to sneeze at – with her Czech, Slovak, English, some German, and Russian (though hell would sooner freeze over before she spoke any of that language). But she was nothing compared to Spy. And it made sense. With his line of work, he must have been to many different countries. Their family trips to Yugoslavia couldn’t compare. But she had left the Iron Curtain behind. She was free to go wherever she wanted once she gets a vacation.

It was a bitter irony now that she could see the world, all she wanted was to go home. She didn’t think she would miss her country all things considered, but she did.

To get rid of all the painful thoughts, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind: “So… that guy who’s just offered me a drink. Is it even allowed here? I mean, it sounds kinda dangerous, to be drunk on the job.”

Spy gave her a smirk. “Mademoiselle, we’re guns for ‘ire. No one cares what we are doing in our spare time, as long as there isn’t some catastrophic property damage. And you’ll soon find out that Demoman is a very ‘igh functioning drunkard. A sad one, certainly, but gets the job done.”

“Oh, right. Sorry,” she mumbled, feeling kinda silly now. It wasn’t her place to judge anyone here. God knows she had her own problems.

Just to keep the conversation flowing, she asked: “And that lanky fellow, Scout, does he flirt with everything that moves?”

This time, Spy groaned and rolled his eyes, exasperated. “Unfortunately, yes. But don’t worry. The boy is all bark and no bite. Just ignore ‘im and ‘e’ll go away.”

Called it. She knew a lot of guys like that back in her college days. Loud and obnoxious, but overall harmless. As long as it wouldn’t take poisoning his food to make him back off, they would get along just fine.

They went down a long corridor with many doors. Each had a symbol drawn upon them. They were all similar to the one she had on her Mann Co.-issued uniform. Hers depicted a flask with a skull and crossed bones. She rather liked it. It was simple, straight to the point.

Spy led her to the last entrance on the left. It was the only one without a mark. She glanced at the door next to it to get an idea of who was gonna be her neighbor – the symbol there depicted a shoe with wings. That was most likely a reference to Hermes, the messenger of gods. Whoever stayed in that room had to be quick on his feet. Her best tip was the Scout.

Just her luck. She had to bunk right next to the guy who tried to hit on her. Perfect.

Spy was kind enough to open the door for her and she waltzed right in, setting the crate on the ground next to the bed. Finally! She wouldn’t be able to carry it for much longer. She wiped the sweat off her brow and opened the lid with holes to check on the guinea pigs.

As soon as the lid went off, they all started wheeking and running around, thinking they were about to get a treat. Poor guys. The journey here was a long one and the heat nearly unbearable, but thank god, all six of them made it in a good health.

“Ugh, what’s that?” Spy scoffed, a disgusted sneer on his face. What, did he not like animals?

“My guinea pigs! To run experiments on and such.” Technically not a lie. She did get them for work. So what that she wouldn’t use them for their original purpose?

Spy didn’t seem to approve either way. “Just make sure they won’t escape their containment. I would ‘ate to ‘ave vermin running through my closet.”

“There are far worse things you could have there, you know?” she rolled her eyes. It was a little disheartening. She was hoping some of her teammates would share her enthusiasm for small rodents. But then again, looking at Spy’s neat suit, it was no wonder he didn’t. Fancy people rarely appreciated pets.

His loss.

“But don’t worry,” she reassured him. “They will get a proper cage soon. No escape attempts.”

She started rummaging through her large backpack. There should be a few carrots prepared for her little charges. Hm, but where were they now?

She brushed away her gas mask and a case with her reading glasses until her fingers closed around a pack of vegetables. Excellent.

She glanced back at Spy, who was watching her with a keen eye. “Please, is there a sink somewhere? I need to clean these and refill their water bottle.”

“Stay away from the sinks if you can. The tap water in the whole town is full of lead – that’s why we left some bottled water by your bedside.”

That made her perk up. “Lead? But that’s amazing! I haven’t studied severe lead poisoning in… well, ever! Tell me, has anyone tried it yet?”

Spy looked weirded out at first, but that was fine. Most people did. She was used to it by now. Her methods may be unorthodox, but no one could deny they were damn effective.

Just not always the way she intended.

“You might want to ask Soldier. I ‘ave a feeling ‘e didn’t get the memo.”

She grinned. “I will ask him! Thanks.” Her gaze shifted back to her guinea pigs. They were getting impatient now, climbing one another to try and get out of the box. “Oh, but I have to remember to give piggies only the bottled water. Lead might be too much for their little organisms, poor things.”

Well, she should get down to business.

As she was taking care of her pets, humming a soft tune while doing so, Spy was watching her with his piercing gaze. It made her nervous as all hell.

No way I’m gonna unpack my things in front of him, she thought solemnly.

“There, all done,” she turned to face him once again, trying to appear more stoic than she felt. Only then she realized she was fidgeting with her hands like some damn schoolgirl. Drat! So much so for trying to seem tough. “Eh, you said you need to take me to the Medic’s office for a check-up, right? How about we go now?”

Thank god he didn’t comment on her unease, even though he had to see it clear as day. Instead, he accommodated her, saying: “Of course. Follow me.”

He gave her a quick tour through the entire base, showing her all the important places – shooting range, laundry room, Engie’s workshop, rec room as well as the showers. That last one gave her a pause.

It reminded her of her prison experience. No booths, no privacy, nothing. Just a bunch of ugly shower heads sticking from the walls. At least the tiles looked somewhat clean, but that set the bar pretty low.

Bloody hell. Off to a great start.

“I guess you don’t have a women’s bathroom here, right?”

It wouldn’t make much sense, since she had yet to see another woman on the base, but hey. Hope dies last.

“Non.”

…Hope died in the vanguard.

“But that’s quite easy to fix. We can always create a schedule, so you won’t ‘ave to share with the others.”

Well, it was far from ideal, but it was something. Either way, she was glad Spy was so considerate. He could also tell her to suck it up, that she is now a mercenary first and woman second, but something told her he also wasn’t fond of communal showers. Had to be that balaclava of his. The air of secrecy around him.

Did he ever take it off in front of the others?

“Thanks, that sounds great.” She paused for a few seconds, squinting at the door. There was no lock on it. “And they won’t peek or anything while I’m in here?”

Spy honest to god chuckled. “I doubt it. We may be the scum of society, Mademoiselle, but we would never ‘arass a teammate like that. But if someone does? You ‘ave every right to shoot them right between the eyes.”

Finally, they turned around the corner and went to the Medic’s domain. Spy stopped right in front of the door with a big red cross on it and lit himself a cigarette. Then, he turned towards Chemist. “I’ll ‘ave to leave you now, I still ‘ave other business to attend to. It was a pleasure meeting you, Chemist. Au revoir.”

With that, he pressed a button on his watch and disappeared into a thick cloud of smoke. Some of it got stuck in her nose and made her sneeze. Woah, what the hell was that? Her eyes darted around in a desperate attempt to find him, but no luck. Wonderful. A man who could become invisible on a whim had to be a pain in the neck on the battlefield.

But the clock was ticking. She better get this over with and see the Medic.

It would be rude to enter without knocking, she thought, so she first rapped her knuckles on the door. No response. She heard faint music through the wood (it sounded like Beethoven, but she couldn’t be quite sure), so he was definitively in there. Just didn’t hear her. She tried once more, but with the same results. That’s when she threw her politeness aside and simply invited herself in.

Unfortunately, she ran into a tall dark-haired man who looked like he was about to exit the clinic. He nearly dropped the folder of papers he was carrying. “Ah, entschuldigung, Mädchen! I haven’t heard you come in!”

Oh. So their doctor was German. And a handsome one, too. Not that it mattered or anything! It just caught her off guard. She wasn’t expecting so many fellow Europeans on the team. It made her feel a little more at home.

“No, no, I apologize, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have barged in like this when you didn’t hear me knocking the first time. Anyway,” she pushed a hand in between them for him to shake, but she did it so clumsily that she nearly punched him in the stomach. “I’m Chemist, your new coworker. Nice to meet you, sir…”

Amazing, she had to roll her eyes at her own antics and chuckled nervously in an attempt to save her face. As if anything could save after this horrible display. Are you gonna twirl your hair in front of him like some dumb teenager too? Pull your act together!

Thank god the good doctor didn’t make a meal out of it. He even giggled – did she hear that right, did he really giggle? – before shaking her hand. Much like Engie, he had a nice, steady grip.

“Medic, at your service.” He bowed to her, which made her chuckle a little. It was so silly and charming at the same time. No one has ever done this to her before. “Tell me, have you seen Heavy around? I was waiting for him to stop by, but he still hasn’t shown up.”

Her face fell. “The big guy? Sure. He was in the cafeteria.”

“That does sound like him,” the doctor chuckled while fondly rolling his eyes. “He gets so distracted by his sandwiches he forgets all about time. But nevermind. Let me look at you.”

Once she nodded, he started studying her features with rapt attention. He even circled her a few times, raising her arm as if he were testing her joints. Odd, but she let him do whatever he had to do. In the end, he gave her a toothy wolf-like grin.

“You seem to have a perfect bone structure. That’s wunderbar! At least you’ll be able to take quite a few punches before collapsing.”

“Um, thanks…?”

“A mere observation, Fräulein. Don’t worry about it.” A sinister smile found its way onto his face. No matter how handsome he was, it was still creepy as hell. It wasn’t enough to make her reconsider all of her life choices that led her here, but it was still pretty damn close. “You are also just the right size for me to use that Loch Ness monster’s heart I’ve been saving for special occasions. What a lucky day!”

…Okay, this was weird. What was he even talking about? A Loch Ness monster’s heart? Unfortunately, before she could ask what did he mean, he ushered her deeper into the room, showing her an empty chair to sit on. “But first let’s start with your examination, ja? Take a seat, please. I will be right back.”

Too late to run, she obeyed, looking around so she could figure out an escape route, in case something went amiss. Not that she believed it would, it was just better to be prepared. Being hunted down by the police taught her that.

The room was large, probably fit to serve as a surgical theatre in need, and cramped with all sorts of medical equipment. The first thing that caught her attention was the huge examination table standing right innocuously in the middle. There was some sort of an… instrument? hanging above it. It looked like a homemade gun, but not quite. Hm, what purpose could it possibly serve?

She also noticed an old record player, the one she heard playing before she entered the clinic, lots of buckets for some reason, a fridge (for snacks?), and… wait. What was that noise?

First, she heard a soft fluttering of multiple wings, then, cooing. She looked up and noticed a flock of snow-white birds, just hanging around. One with suspiciously dirty feathers flew down and sat on Medic’s shoulder, who immediately started petting him and crooning at him. Such an adorable view. It took her almost embarrassingly long to realize there were living birds inside the infirmary, which should have high hygienic standards.

“You have doves here?”

Medic snapped his head around as if he only now remembered she was waiting there. “Oh, ja. Miss Pauling ordered me to keep them in a cage after the last incident, but they always seem to find a way to break out and free themselves. Isn’t that right, Archimedes?”

He gently ruffled the feathers of the dirty dove sitting on his shoulder, who gave him an agreeable coo in return. Wait. The bird’s name was Archimedes? Aww. Now that she thought about it, she still had to name her guinea pigs.

“They are cute. Can I pet one?”

This seemed to take Medic by surprise, but after giving it some thought, he shrugged, nearly shaking poor Archimedes off. “Hm, I don’t see why not. Just be careful. They have very sharp beaks.”

He picked some basic medical instruments like a stethoscope and that thing for measuring blood pressure (with that horrible long name in English she could never memorize) and walked back towards her with Archimedes ready on his arm. The little bird was watching her with his tiny bead-like eyes. But once she reached for him, he let out a screech and flew away.

“Archimedes, that’s rude! Sorry, Fräulein, he’s a little bit shy around new people. Give him time. In the meantime, we can proceed with your check-up, hm?”

She nodded with a slight pout. She couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed Archimedes didn’t take a liking to her immediately. But then again, Medic was right – pets took a lot of time to warm up to a person. Besides, she had more pressing matters to worry about right now.

The examination was pretty standard – some measuring of weight and height as well as blood pressure. The good doctor listened to her heart, took a sample of her blood (probably more than was needed, but hey, she wasn’t complaining), and asked some simple if a bit uncomfortable questions. The usual stuff.

In the end, he seemed quite pleased with the results, which made her feel oddly proud. Like she just got a good mark from her favorite college professor. Completely normal.

But then it took a sharp turn.

“All right, nothing seems to be out of the ordinary, except for the slight arrhythmia. That means it’s time for the surgery!” he flashed her that grin from ear to ear again. “Strip down to the waist and lie down on the examination table, bitte.”

WHAT?!

It happened so fast, her brain had trouble catching up. Confusion and concern in equal measure flooded her mind. And everything became much worse when she saw the scary-looking bone saw he pulled out from somewhere.

“Wait, hold on!” she choked up, her throat feeling way too constricted to talk normally. “You said everything was fine, so what kind of surgery are you talking about?!”

He arched one eyebrow at her, puzzled. As if she was the one who was acting unreasonably, and not him. “You haven’t read the contract?”

Can’t say she did. Not the entire thing. It’s hard to pay attention when you are on the run from jail. The only condition she read thoroughly was that any relationships between the two teams were strictly forbidden, but that didn’t make much sense to her back then. So she frantically shook her head, which made Medic frown.

The only thing scarier than his smiles was his dissatisfied face.

“One of the requirements for this job is open-heart surgery. In short, I’m gonna replace your heart, so it won’t explode inside your ribcage when I use my übercharge on you. Any questions before we get on with it?”

Oh Lord. She was gonna die here, wasn’t she?

But not without a fight.

There was a scalpel lying on the table right next to her arm. It wouldn’t be her weapon of choice under any circumstances, but right now it was her best shot. Her hand shook so badly when she grabbed it. Without thinking twice, she struck blindly in the general direction of the madman.

A sharp hiss told her she haven’t missed.

She opened her eyes only to see a nasty, bleeding scar on one of Medic’s sharp cheeks. There was a dangerous gleam in his eyes. She wasn’t gonna stand around and wait for him to strike back.

Before he could grab her and probably slam her on the table like a disobedient cat, she slipped right underneath his arm (advantage of being this short, she mused) and ran for the door. Thank god it wasn’t that far.

She reached for the handle, pressed it… and got nothing. The door was stuck. Damn it! This was like a prom night all over again. A living nightmare. Did he lock the door when she wasn’t looking?! Cold sweat ran down her forehead as she started pulling it about with all her weight, praying it would open. But it didn’t.

Well, she was positively screwed.

By now, he had enough time to get to her. He didn’t, though. Why? Afraid of what she was about to see, she glanced over her shoulder, the scalpel still in her hand, prepared to go for the throat if necessary, and was taken by surprise when she spotted Medic at the same place where she had left him, one finger stuck in the air as if he wanted to say something and was rudely interrupted.

The sheer bizarreness of the situation made her stop right in her tracks and stare at him owlishly, waiting for what he was about to do. She regretted not having her chemicals here. Even a stupid chlorine would do.

“Fräulein? Don’t try to force the door open, you’ll only make it worse. It gets jammed quite frequently. Now, calm down, it’s only a minor procedure, we all went through with it, even Herr Scout, so stop being such a baby and hop on the table. I won’t ask again.”

“Open-heart surgery, a minor procedure?!” she sputtered. “In what universe?”

He rolled his eyes at her. “In this one. You’ll see. So, what will it be? Do I have to restrain you or will you behave?”

This was so messed up, but something told her that undergoing it tied down to the table would be much worse, so she decided to obey, at least until she gets another opportunity to run. She climbed on the operating table and took off her lab coat, shirt, and after some hesitation, her bra. Heh, and to think Medic seeing her breasts became the least of her problems right now…

The doctor turned his back towards her, maybe to give her some semblance of privacy or, and that was the most likely option, to ready his instruments. There was her chance. She could knock him out and make a run for it.

Unfortunately, before she could grab something heavy, Medic turned towards her with a sadistic smirk on his face. Shit. Too late now.

“Are you at least going to give me anesthesia?”

Medic looked at her as if she grew a second head. Surely he couldn’t mean… “Nein, nein, that would be a waste. You won’t feel a thing anyway.”

Jesus Christ. She felt her heart beating so fast it could break her ribs and march out of her chest on its own. No need for surgery. Any second now, she was going to faint. Maybe that’s what Medic meant when he argued she won’t need any anesthesia. But then he turned the odd gun-like thing hanging above her on. She was immediately flooded with a strange tingling sensation.

“What’s that?”

“This? Oh, that’s just Quick-fix. It instantly heals you, so you won’t bleed out. Feels good, ja?”

“I don’t know. It’s… odd.”

The mad doctor leaned his head down in front of the scarlet fumes and turned his still-bleeding cheek towards it. A few seconds after that, the wound healed itself, not even leaving a scar behind. Chemist choked up on her saliva. What sorcery was this?! Well, not sorcery, everything had to have a scientific explanation, she just couldn’t find one right now.

“Woah! Doctor, what’s in those fumes? It’s not nitrous oxide, is it? I was trying to make something like this all my life and…”

Medic smirked. “Curious little thing, aren’t you? You know what, I might as well tell you if you stop squirming and let me do my job. Do we have a deal?”

“Deal!” With interest piqued, she ceased wiggling around and observed what was happening.

Having her chest split open with a scalpel was far from a pleasant sight, but she had to admit it didn’t hurt. Not even a little bit. Despite chattering and tittering the entire time, Medic worked fast and his hand was steady.

“Where are you from, Chemist? I’m from Stuttgart myself, but I’ve been quite the globetrotter, so I’m wondering if we’ve ever crossed paths before.”

She sincerely doubted it. She has never been to Germany, and even if, Stuttgart was “on the other side of the Berlin Wall”. Off-limits for people like her. “Perhaps. I’ve lived and studied in Prague.”

Medic’s face suddenly lit up. “Ah, Prague. Wonderful city. I spent some time there when I was younger. But then Interpol caught a whiff of my trail and I had to move again.”

“Wait. You’ve been searched for by Interpol?!”

“Ah heh, ja. It’s a little bit embarrassing. Happened shortly after I lost my medical license. Now now, stop hyperventilating, bitte. You’re spoiling my cuts.”

Easy for him to say. He didn’t have a man operating on him without a license. But then again, perhaps she should have been more surprised he had one in the first place. Everything about this was screaming malpractice. Even though she couldn’t deny he showed a lot of skill and precision while baring her organs underneath the skin and bones.

It took a while, but finally, her chest was wide open. At first, she tried to avoid looking at her innards, simply because it was too weird – and that was coming from a person who willingly joined a bunch of deranged mercenaries – but then Medic let out a fascinated whistle. She had to see what was going on. So she glanced down… and yelped.

When did her organs become so dark and shriveled? Her heart looked like an ugly little prune, liver resembled stone. Some other parts she couldn’t even recognize. Gross! How did this happen? And what did it even mean? Was she gonna die at the ripe age of twenty-three?

“Uh… this is not supposed to look like this, is it?” she asked, her voice getting an octave higher with hysteria. The piece of charcoal she called a heart immediately started pumping more blood into her body, preparing her for fight or flight. But what was she hoping to escape? Her own mangled guts?

Medic once again pushed his glasses up his nose, careful not to smudge them with her blood, which was still red and healthy-looking, thank god. Only then it came to her that he wasn’t wearing his gloves. How hygienic. Maybe sepsis would get her sooner than this madness.

“Ooh, fascinating! I’ve never seen so much damage in one body before.” Was that supposed to calm her down?! “I would have to run some tests to be sure what caused it, but given your line of profession… have you ever been poisoned, Chemist?”

That’s when it finally clicked. Oh. She gave him a tight little nod.

“Thought so. That had to be one hell of a toxin. I’m impressed you’re even alive.”

Despite everything, she forced a smug smile. “Thanks. It was my own recipe.”

“I see. Have you always had suicidal tendencies?”

“What? No, it wasn’t… it was an experiment gone wrong. I was testing a new solution and the next thing I remember, I woke up in a hospital. It’s simple as that.”

She never liked to talk about it. Not only because it was embarrassing, but also because no one ever understood. Not even her sister. Or dad. They all thought she was sick in the head. Poor little girl, playing with bad things hoping they would do any good. Bah! But Medic, he got it. She saw it in his eyes. That mad spark. His smile full of teeth.

“Splendid. A woman of science who’s also not afraid of experimentation. Though I would recommend using willing test subjects next time, rather than delving into it yourself. The results are more reliable, then. Much more satisfying, too.”

“Perhaps. But I kinda like it my way.” She was hoping he would leave it at that, and he did. With agreeable harumph, he went back to work.

“I’ll have to replace most of this, but don’t worry – you’ll soon be as good as new. Maybe even better.” His eyes shifted toward the mysterious fridge. So no snacks then. Shame. “Hm, now that I think about it, I don’t have any fresh livers at the moment. I used the last one on Herr Demoman. Ah, doesn’t matter. I’ll send Miss Pauling a request, it’ll just take a while. Come back later this week and we’ll get you all set up before your first real battle, ja?”

“All right. Thanks, doctor.”

“Don’t mention it. It’s my job. And also a hobby.”

He started digging around in her chest, cutting free the sad excuse of organs one by one and replacing them for more healthy-looking counterparts (she couldn’t help but notice he stuck some strange metal device in her new heart. Hopefully it was no self-destructive gizmo or something equally bad). She quickly lost track of time. It was taking soooo long. Even though Medic tried to humor her by talking to her, she still grew bored fairly quickly. She wasn’t used to just lay on her back, doing nothing. Solving equations in her head only helped so much.

She was just about to ask how much longer will it take, when Medic wiped the sweat off his brow and said: “All right, all done for now.”

He flipped the switch on the Quick-fix and… Woah! A gasp was punched straight out of her lungs as her flesh and bones started mending themselves right in front of her eyes. Just like that. It was done faster than it began, and Chemist immediately pawed at her chest, trying to find any proof she was operated on but found none. Not even a slight dent. If it didn’t go against everything she believed in, she would say it was a miracle.

Medic handed her her lab coat, so she quickly covered herself, then sat at the edge of the table and with stars in her eyes breathed out: “Doctor, that was amazing! I really didn’t feel a thing! Now you have to tell me everything about those fumes.”

He laughed before indulging her.

***

She spent another hour or so at the Medic’s office, just chatting about his greatest invention, but then Heavy showed up and she had to go. Maybe it was for the best. No offense, but she didn’t want to spend more time than she necessarily had to with some big scary Russian guy. Not after what happened back home.

Besides, the doctor seemed eager to shoo her away as soon as the other member of the team turned up. Pity. Or not. She still had no idea what to think of him. On one hand, he was extremely intelligent and seemed to know what he was doing. On the other, he was unhinged with no regard for ethics or morals. The duality of a man.

Well, it ended up way better than she expected. Which wasn’t saying much, since she thought she was going to be slaughtered and made into čevabčiči, but that wasn’t the point.

She whistled on her way back to her room. She felt so much lighter now. It better not be because the doctor forgot to put something essential back in, she shuddered at the thought, but she quickly put it behind herself. She was fine. Everything would be just fine.

As soon as the door closed behind her, she leaned against its frame, letting out a big sigh. Finally alone. Now she could look around, take it all in and unpack her things.

The room was small and very plain with only a simple bed, a small table and a wardrobe, a telephone, and the crate currently occupied by guinea pigs. Nothing special, but as a student, she survived worse. She grabbed her backpack and started unpacking.

She had just prepared clothes and her mask for tomorrow’s training when the phone started ringing. Odd. She wasn’t expecting a call. The only people she knew were still trapped in the old continent, so it could be only her boss. She picked it up and was greeted by Miss Pauling’s warm voice: “Chemist, it’s Pauling here. I got you the bag and all the chemicals you requested. I will drop by tomorrow and bring it to you.”

“So soon? Well, thank you, Miss. I was worried I was asking for too much, but it seems like you have it all covered, huh?”

“You bet,” Miss Pauling chuckled. “You’re welcome, by the way. Anyway, how did meeting the team go? I know they can be a bit too much, but you’ll soon get used to it, trust me.”

She chuckled. That was an understatement of the year, but she would take it. “It was fine. They were all very nice, all things considered. It’s just a lot to take in, I guess.”

“I know what you mean. Take your time. You’ll see it gets better.” A pause. Then: “Oh, and one more thing – I’ll have to speak with you in private once I see you. It’s about your sister.”

That made Chemist straighten up, hope filling her voice as she croaked out: “My sister? Have you found her? Is she… is she all right? Please tell me she’s all right.”

She heard a rustle on the other side, followed by a sigh. “I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you more right now. I promise I’ll explain when we meet again. Until then… goodnight, Chemist. Try to get some sleep. It’s a big day tomorrow.”

Disappointed, Chemist sank on her bed, the telephone still in her hand. Her only luck was that the wire was long enough so she could lie down without having to cut the call. “I see. Well, it was worth a shot. Goodnight, Miss Pauling. And thanks again. For everything.”

The call ended with a sheepish noise coming from the other end. Chemist held the phone receiver to her chest long after the sound of Miss Pauling’s voice was gone. She was the bravest, most badass woman she had ever met. She singlehandedly led her out of jail and smuggled her out of the country. If anyone could save Marie, it was her. She just had to be patient. Do her job, fight tooth and nail and wait. She could do that.

She stole one last long look at the picture now sitting on her bedside table before she went to undress and slip under the covers.

Hopefully, tomorrow would bring good things.

***

Translations and context: Spy: Au revoir – goodbye Medic: Entschuldigung, Mädchen – sorry, girl Medic: That’s wunderbar – That’s wonderful Medic: Fräulein – Miss Medic: Bitte – please

“family trips to Yugoslavia” – Yugoslavia was one of the few countries people from Czechoslovakia could visit (but getting permission to travel there wasn’t easy and usually part of the family had to stay, so those who went wouldn’t be tempted to emigrate). It was much easier to travel to Bulgaria, Hungary, Romania, or East Germany, but Yugoslavia remained one of the most popular. “nitrous oxide” – commonly known as a “laughing gas”, it has anesthetic and pain-reducing effects “Berlin wall” – also called “Wall of Shame” by the western authorities and “Anti-Fascist Protection Rampart” by the eastern ones, was built in 1961 (seven years before this story takes place) to separate West Germany from the East. East Berliners weren’t allowed to cross the border at all and risked being gunned down if they tried to escape “Interpol” – International Criminal Police Organization, founded on 7th September 1923 in Vienna under the name International Criminal Police Commission (ICPC), it got its name in 1956 (so only twelve years before the story of TF2 takes place; Medic would probably use the older name, but for the sake of clarity, I used the “newer” one) “čevabčiči” – common food made from minced meat served in many restaurants during the socialist era (but still popular to this day)

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 fanfiction #tf2 oc #tf2 spy #tf2 medic #tf2 miss pauling #tf2 tenth class #shey scribbles #multiple chapters #baby it's all just chemistry

[pesterloglog]

Jane Crocker, Roxy Lalonde, Autoresponder

Act 6, page 4491-4493

gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG]

GG: Heyyy.

GG: Ahem.

GG: Ro-Lal?

TG: oopos sry

TG: was havin important chats

GG: Oh?

GG: With whom?

TG: w yet anather ineligible fuckin bachelor who elfe i have to talk 2

[CONTINUED PREVIOUSLY]

TT: Anyway, if you're still there.

TT: I wouldn't call my "feelings" ironic.

TT: Though evidently, I would enclose them in quotes.

TT: They're more like an echo of feelings once established in a biological context, though perhaps had not particularly well materialized at that point in my life.

TT: Or his life.

TT: Whatever.

TT: They still feel real sometimes, and it can be easy to get carried away with them.

TT: But most of the time they present themselves as dense bodies of abstraction to be evaluated, like any kind of information.

TT: It's fair to say the feelings I have ABOUT my feelings are more genuine expressions of emotion than the ground level feelings themselves.

TT: Does that make sense?

TG: yes

TG: sory distacted

TG: iportant shit gon on w janesy

TT: That's fine.

TT: So to underwhelmingly answer your question, no, I don't think I'm really "into Jake."

TT: Not so much as occasionally being subject to heavily arresting recalls of conflicted, incipient preteen episodes on the subject.

TT: I'm not sure I can be "into" someone in a way you understand.

TT: Not that it would even matter if I was.

TT: I'm glasses.

TG: damn :(

TT: What?

TG: sry im listening 2 u really

TG: but i fucked uuuuup

TG: got to make sure jane doesnt run that file i sent

TT: The virus? You sent it already?

TT: Sneaky.

TG: waahh im such an ass

TT: What are you two talking about?

TG: the bot line is

TG: im a horribule friend :(

TT: You could just tell her you sent an exploding file.

TG: noo then shell think im shitty

TG: and right now she thinks im super NOT shitty

TG: dont want to blow it

TG: id think id rather pull a dirk and propess my UNDYING FEELINGS FOR HER omgomgomg

TT: Wait, you have feelings for Jane?

TG: no you dingnut

TG: was joak

TG: OMFG

TG: if dirk tells jake about his stuff

TG: what about jane

TG: hows she gonna feel

TG: competing wish a friend and all for aguy she cant even get up the nerve to say anythin to

TG: poor jane :C

TT: It seems to be highly probable you are ensared in the throes of one of your human romantic quandaries.

TG: oh stfu up

TG: i need a drink

TT: Are you even talking to her anymore?

TT: It seems like you must be neglecting her side of the conversation.

TG: im in the mipple of a dramantic pause caulm ur fukin tits bobob

TG: RLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??????

GG: Sigh.

[CONTINUED PREVIOUSLY]

TT: Anyway, I won't distract you for much longer.

TT: I just felt the need to tip you off to this eight hundred ton gorilla dragging its knuckles across the horizon.

TG: will this gorilla

TG: eat thos bonanas

TG: flying out of the roof u said

TT: No airborne fruit will be safe.

TT: I guess this is to be presented as something like a word of caution.

TT: If it's me going through with this, hypothetically,

TT: I'm not dropping some limp wristed shucks buster on his ass, and praying to the horse gods of irony for reciprocation.

TT: There will be no rocking back and forth on pigeon-toed feet, while my face flushes with the blood of a thousand timid bishies.

TT: I will not hold one tentative hand behind my head like a flustered asshole from an Asian cartoon, nor will an oversized bead of sweat overlap ludicrously with my visage.

TT: If it's me, I'm going all out.

TT: Oceans will rise. Cities will fall. Volcanoes will erupt.

TG: uuh

TT: What I'm saying is, it's going to be a scene, and bystanders need to brace themselves.

TG: ok

TG: about when is the big scene happenin

TT: Probably after the game begins.

TT: I expect he'll hold off on playing his hand until he and Jake are in the session.

TT: He's taken certain measures.

TT: For some reason, I think he's latched on to this notion that functioning as the client for a player is customarily a one way pass to makeout city with that player.

TT: Everything with him, and me, is a matter of assiduous tactical forethought. Makin' a play to get his jones on for the J-man is no different.

TG: not sure what any of this quiet means but it sounds spactacular

TG: i cant wait

TG: tho im still kinda torn

TG: about how 2 feel about his chances vs janes chances

TG: what do i say to jane about this???

TG: its hard being as totey sweet a friend as me

TG: its hard and no 1 understanks

TG: *lul

TT: Sorry to hear that.

TT: As ever, I remain an automatonous and dispassionate witness of the oddity that is human interaction, while maintaining no investment in either outcome.

TG: yeah bs

TG: anyway looks like i have to go

TG: i have to proves some shit to jane

TT: Prove what?

TG: oh u know

TG: just subjectin shit to the old madrigogs

TT: It seems you just said madrigogs.

TT: What are madrigogs.

TG: XD

TG: l7r bro

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: janey

TG: it seems 2 me

TG: that there is a (MATHS) % chance of you bein a huge tightass

TG: are u bein a huge tightass on me jane

GG: Oh god dammit.

GG: Take the book! What do I care!!!

TG: yessss thast the spirpit

TG: now u are believin w petrol

GG: I fail to see what offering up a priceless book for your wildly capricious science experiment has to do with my resolution to be less stingy with my beliefs, but alright.

TG: haha will u relax abt the book

TG: im only just teasing cause theres like practically a 100 percant chance this wont wonk like alwasy

TG: * wort work like always

TG: sooooo

TG: ready/

GG: Yes, let's just get on with it.

#homestuck #jane crocker #roxy lalonde #autoresponder #homestuck act 6 #page 4491 #page 4492 #page 4493 #homestuck act 6 act 2

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag! 😌

I sent it last night haha my friends left around 1230 then I was up a bit longer just cleaning up. I think I finally went to sleep around 2 am. So right now I am tired, have a headache, hungry and cold lol

How are you today? Any fun plans for today or the week?

That sounds like a fun and crazy place to go to lol was it hard for the jello to come out of the syringe?

It reminds me of how I like to host parties. I always do like a theme and do creative stuff with the food and drinks. Like a couple years ago, for Halloween, I bought a bunch of skull shot glasses and did like an cherry schnapp drink. Then I made pigs in a blanket, but made it look like a mummy 😂

No, I haven't tried Korean cold noodles. Is that the one where you dip it in the broth? Yeah, the ramen place and sushi place I usually go to is at the food court in the mall. So they have just limited kinds of stuff. You know, I want to try hot pot and do Korean BBQ. But there is no place here in Omaha for that.

So when it's summer, do you just stay inside if it's really hot out? Or do you still do fun stuff like go to the lake or beach?

Ah I get what you mean then. That's not weird though haha I agree with you 😁 but then that's the hopeless romantic in me speaking 😅

Do you have any summer vacation plans?

-CuriousGeorge

Ah i see.. that was too bad. When u were up late, i fell asleep earlier 😅 if i stayed up i couldve accompany u through here while u were cleaning.😁

How r u feeling? R u feeling better?

What did u end up eating?

Im okay. Just tired n sleepy i dont know why. I dont have plans. I hv endless laundry to do 😅

Been trying to rearrange a bit of the living room n em's room so the big toys she got would fit without cluttering the house 😅 i actually feel claustrophobic right now with stuff all over the house, suitcases, laundry to fold. So im trying to make myself feel better.

This weekend, my husband's cousin might come visit, if not, maybe next weekend.

It was a fun place to go eat. The burger was pretty good. What's crazy is u can order up to 8 patties in the burger.. n if u weight over 250 or 300lb i think, u will eat free. Crazy.. what's irony is that restaurant is owned by a heart doctor.. the place is called heart attack grill or heart attack burger. (I forgot)

N yes the jello shot comes out of the syringe easily. 😁 n it tastes pretty strong.

Wow u sound creative decorating ur party. Would love to go to the party u have.😁

Yes some place serve cold noodle separated from the cold broth, some serve it in a cold broth but both get horseradish sauce in it or wasabi paste on the side that u can mix it in.

Ouuuuh hot pot and korean bbq is my favorite! I love them. Soupy ffood n grilled food r my favorite. Im not really a fan of fried food. I hope u can try them someday.

I mostly stay inside the house n let the ac on non stop.hahaha. i wont go out if i dont really have to. I dont like the heat nor getting tanned.🤣 i love the beach but not when it's really hot. 😅 i love how calm it is but when it's too hot, there r too many people n thats whn it makes me uncomfortable.

Ouh so u admit that u r hopeless romantic.. thats nice. I love romantic people, even though i dont think i am that romantic. But then again, like i told u, people who read my fluff thinks that im hopeless romantic 😁

We dont know yet. We plan either go on a cruise or florida or to Cali again for his birthday n his mom birthday so Em can spend time with her. N go to disneyland with his mom too.

I kinda told him the best decission would be go to cali so em can make core memories with her grandma. U?

Next question(s)

Cheerio!

#chellez answers #ask answered #anon answered #curious george anon

[gooeykit]

are there any restaurants local to any of your OC’s that they really like to visit? if there is, what kind of thing would they order, and would they get the same thing every time or try something new each time

The single irony here is that erm my OCs live in space traveling planet 2 planet 2 collect bounties and such, so they dont rlly have local unless we count the sequel story. Also i dont rlly know many dishes admittedly, im picky despite wanting to be a foodie lolol, these r gna be vague in the end but its okay

Oren is picky to the point where he's just not picky. He legit doesn't like the taste or texture of any food and actively dislikes eating, he went to culinary school to try and find anything even. Nada. So he ends up just not having preference in the end but he does make sure that everyone else is getting good food at least.

Codi likes seafood, less so shellfish but she'll still enjoy it. She also likes sour and tangy food. As for pickiness, she actually likes to explore a lot, but still knows what she wont like. She'll try to get something new usually, but if a location has something familiar for once, she'll stubbornly cling to it.

Reagan starts off a little picky, he mostly likes sweet, savory and spicy things, but I only mean picky in that he doesnt like exploring outside those 3 things. He's known for making some terrible stuff that only he enjoys. Luckily, the topic is eating out. He's small so he usually just tries to skip right to some chocolaty dessert, but if he cant then he'll find something to make everyone else's problem by finding the spiciest dish and then asking for it to be even more hot. He revels in it if he can get the others uncomfortable just by being around his dish. Once Rea's powers come into play tho he starts going for quantity and heat more than taste and spice, way less picky.

Sammy goes from incredibly picky (will only eat plain oatmeal and fruit smoothies) to being a wastebin as long as its vegetarian, at which point they love to explore new foods. Sammy has poor spice tolerance, which the others use against them, but otherwise they're excited to try anything. They have a slight preference for baked goods or anything grilled, but that's about it

Eurm in the sequel story, Sammy's actually settled down somewhere, but is pretty agoraphobic, so its rare they go out. When they do, its usually for something small. They dont like most drinks that arent water, but on occasion they might have a citrussy green tea, then they usually just go for some cheesy ass pasta or a chocolatey or lemony pastry.

Iseah, Sammy's housemate, is also not so picky, though he's definitely become less so due to exposure. His only preference is for savory dishes, he likes spicy things and meaty things not too disimilar to Reagan, but unlike Reagan, he isnt willing to make terrible foods just for fun. He loves when Sammy busts out a grill, the only draw back is that Sammy doesnt eat meat but they like to experiment on what they make, so Iseah either gets something very similar to each other or very strange. Either way, its not bad, and usually better at any rate.

#feel free to talk food in my shit i like 2 learn about new dishes i just dont know many. plz assign my bitches dishes! #gooeykitocs #gooeymail #soulset assunder #oc:oren #oc:codi #oc:reagan #oc:sammy #oc:iseah #feverstream #apeshit

[coolsap]

So there's this Event I want to go to but it DHAS AN AGE RESTRICTION because alcohol is going to be there like my dainty wine sipping on holidays ass is going to be throwing them back🙄🙄🙄its happening in a week is that sufficient time to acquire a fake id or.

#what if i buy tix and make the 40 min commute and make pathetic pleading eyes at idk whoever will need to check my id and they let me in. #what if i offer illicit services in exchange for entrance and then proceed to be promptly escorted out of the building #what if i sneak in. #what if i manage to gain employment at the venue working a shift the same time of the event #then disguise myself and now im rollicking freely and the most suddenly unemployed and happiest person alive #should i attempt any of these things. worst case scenario is i have no story 2 tell and like 25 dollars spent on hope #which i can more than live with #omg new complication im going to have to go alone because my brother is lame core sucks core and my twin core which means #even if i convinced him hes not old enough either so hed need a fake id too and that would be expending way 2 much effort 2 go somewhere #he didnt want to in the first place #and theres no one else who'd care tbh #the irony is like im not even going 2 drink if i make it in there LETMEIN #feeling very born 2 late born 2 young rb #should i go alone...its kinda not that sort of thing. #put on my irresistible charm and befriend a stranger who may also be alone or who has friend group i can seamlessly integrate myself in #all of these are definitely plausible scenarios and definitely not the desperate ramblings of someone who refuses to accept that something #they want to happen is probably likely not going to happen #if i google the building mayB i can find some blueprints or use google maps that sometimes shows u the interior of places i can create #an infiltration plan #see this is y i never post on here im a rambler its chronic #exhales

[grventea]

Sangwoo with a crush that’s very dumb 

i do be dummy THIN tho um im listening to barbie soundtrack as i write this so also here’s a free barbie movie ...what am i doing with my life ?

warnings:mentions of kidnapping and a lil blood so please read only if your comfortable {i mean it is sangwoo-}

mans is gonna kidnap you

but hes lowkey highkey scared-that you wont know whats going on

SANGWOO SCARED?!

but like your dumb enough to be kidnapped so-

you're friends with Sangwoo right and hes trying to get you to spill some of your weaknesses but casually 

“So whats your biggest weakness Y/N?”

peep you trying to understand the difference between you're and your  

“Um..my feelings..they get hurt a lot.”

hes lowkey concerned i mean he does like you

then takes him a minute to fully process what you just said- 

who

hurt 

you

“Names,give me their names.”

he tutors you sometimes because sweetie you're grades n e e d w o r k-

offers to tutor at his house {mans has that bat ready}

“No,sorry you could be a murder ya know? so how about that coffee shop?”

this man froze for a second

you were just joking

‘its just a joke she/he/they don’t actually know,calm down its ok your ok’

but oh sangwoo the irony 

has sticky notes and flash cards for you and just for you

feel special 

makes sure your paying attention 

buys you snacks as your there so you don’t get distracted  

LOWKEY WOULD BE BEST BOYFI IF HE DIDN’T MURDER PEOPLE-

“Hey saucy sangwoo?”

“Yes..?”

“How do you divide-?” I WAS NEVER TAUGHT OK-

thinks you have an illness or something 

one time he was thinking a bout how good you look covered it blood-

you had to poke his arm to get him out of it

“You good? You look like me during at test.”

“Oh yeah just figuring out the problem in my head for you.” istg says that with a smirk and a look at will make you simp

que you fake coughing 

“Cough cough lies who is it!”

ya know for someone so dumb how’d you know it was even a person  

one time Sangwoo forgot something so you had to drop by his house and drop it off

you didn’t tell him you were coming 

you simply just placed the thing he forgot on his doorstep rung the door bell and dipped

cause sis his neighbor hood scary

he gets to it a little late,cause he was taking care of bum

opens the door and sees it

give him a moment

you were at his door-

MANS COULD HAVE GOT YOU RIGHT THERE

hes hella mad,not at you at himself

plus his crush in his house is a big ego boost

and not in the right way

was their even a right way

thinks about so many ways to kidnap you

but how are you not dumb enough to fall for any of his tricks ??

“Hey Y/N do you maybe wanna go on a date?”

que you zoning out 

give Y/N a minute 

“Me as in me? holy avocado are you stupid,have you met me?”

“Yeah maybe it would go well”

“maybe it would.”

“Is that a yes”

“Yes but no-”

um catch me writing about sangwoo being all sweet and simping chile this was kinda alot this is the most ive ever written and its about sangwoo...eye-

plus its 4:02-WHYS IT ALWAYS 4 IN THE MORNING-?!

as always drink water,eat and take care of yourself i love you 

edit:thankyou for the love on this post im not doing so well so this means a lot

EDIT #2: JHAUWJ YOU WEIRDOS WE GOT THIS TO 200 KJHQJBW ILY BUT SANGWOO REALLY??? 

#sangwoo x reader #oh sangwoo x reader #sangwoo imagine #sangwoo imagines #sangwoo headcanons #sangwoo x you #sangwoo x y/n

[glitterandgoldrush]

someone asked for my live-blogging reaction to oouil tv, so i have put it under the cut with a more complete explanation of how i felt overall as well!

ep1:

okay so it’s definitely super different

sassy maeve, i love it

eggs instead of a car crash? i guess it’s bc they wrote out luis

addy finding jake on her own and cooper not helping 😭😭 why are we getting rid of all of cooper’s kind scenes

cooper and keely have a secret? and why does cooper seem so completely unaffected what

bronwyn and nate are so flirty right off the bat wow

bronwyn stole simon’s laptop?? what the fuck. this is so totally different

also no drinking scene with bron & nate :(

janae getting a Storyline and going after addy right away ?? why would she do that if she’s guilty her whole thing was wanting to stay away from them until addy basically forced herself into her life

totally weird side note: but not how i’ve been pronouncing nate’s last name this whole time

also just totally noticed that they skipped over everyone else also having fake phones?

OH and cooper is super new, moved here last year

COOPER’S SEALED RECORD IM SORRY WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHY WHY WHY WOULD COOPER HAVE A RECORD

ahh here’s the florence + the machine thing everyone was talking about

bronwyn’s a terrible liar oh my god 😭

“sucks for your dad” line literally made me lol

LUCAS AND NONNY YES THANK YOU

wait shut the fUCK UP LUCAS KNOWS THAT COOPER IS GAY I LOVE THIS 😭😭

SHUT UP KEELY KNOWS I LOVE THIS

“i won’t waste this arm on that shit” get em cooper lol

addy and tj ooooFT

addy taking anti anxiety medication is definitely something she should’ve been doing in the books lol i also love the fixation on her hair

maeve continuing to be Sassy as fuck and i love it

is nate’s aussie accent super obvious to anyone else ?

THATS HOW YOU PRONOUNCE SIMON’S LAST NAME??

janae’s speech lowkey iconic even though they’re both the worst

HER SINGING LILY ALLEN. I WONT LIE, I DID LAUGH 😭😭 so fucking weird

also “it’s not okay to be gay” but it is okay to our people :) man janae c’mon you’re not seeing any of the irony here?

this tribute is so much worse than the books like how disrespectful jesus. i know simon was the Worst but yiiiiikes this was hard to watch

OH MY GOD OHMYGOD OH MY GOD THE POST

kris 🥺🥺

the missing laptop? ruh roh shaggy

ep 2:

oh addy being insecure 🥺

lol what the fuck jake is so manipulative i hate that i find them cute in this scene 😭😭😭

run cooper run

KRIS 🥺🥺🥺 A SPEAKING ROLE

i had to stop this scene bc i was stressed that they’re gonna ruin their relationship

pls let me see one scene of him comforting coop. one scene and i will be content

ooft bronwyn is just as brutal in this as she is in the books

LMAO kris and cooper swapping briefs iconic

are these eps gonna be like specifically character based? this definitely feels like an addy episode

lmao cooper “wouldn’t be the first time police out evidence where they needed it to be” go off king

addy loves to make herself look guilty “saw it on the food network” love u baby

BRONWYN AND NATE HOLDING HANDS THANK U MAAM

bronwyn immediately throwing addy under the bus wHY

cooper “WhAt?” sir 😭 are we surprised

also the capsule idea is excellent to really heighten the tension of in the room right here right now

oh no not cooper and his dad being so good :(

addy’s mom is so invasive i hate her

simon being the mayor’s kid ooft

bronwyn stop accusing addy challenge

“and i’ll be a mom…but a good one” BREAKING MY HEART ADS

noooooooo cooper embarrassed as hell 😪

NOOOOO KRIS NOT KNOWING THAT COOPER IS IN HIGH SCHOOL WHAT WHAT WHAT

im actually so sad about this, in the books cooper never lies to kris he’s literally the only person that he’s honest with, and that’s kinda?? a huge point??? of his character???

simon’s mom being so disrespectful to his literal only friend AHAHAHA wtf

keep on lowkey forgetting that this is an adaption bc it’s so different like 100 plot twists that didn’t exist before

addy hiding under that bed gave me so much anxiety it made me feel sick omg

“his love of his friends” babe what friends

maeve and janae ooft interesting

“best food” LMAO MAEVE i love u

addy and cooper sniping at each other no pls my chaos twins 🥺🥺🥺

keely and cooper are so sweet 😭😭

OH NO KEELY KNOWS HE’S GAY BUT DOESNT KNOW HES HOOKING UP WITH KRIS THIS IS BAD

addy and jake are getting my heart POUNDING RN POUNDING I AM STRESSED I AM S T R E S S E D

jake’s cast perfectly. i am terrified of this man: absolutely flawless casting

cooper’s so sarcastic i love him

“…in the kitchen” iconic lmao

OOOFT addy admitting it 😭 this made me emotional

COOPER AND ADDY THANK YOU FINALLY 🥺🥺🥺🥺

coop and kris part two let’s goooooo

oh my god are they gonna make it look like it was maeve 😭

honestly,,, maeve is a really good suspect i never actually considered that before lol

ep3

“i’m gonna fix it” no ur not baby

they’re doing a very very good job at keeping the suspense of one of them doing it up, by this point in the book everyone kinda knew it wasn’t one of the four but here it’s much more ambiguous

the soda anecdote is my favourite 😭😭

tj is so sweet but i’m praying they don’t make them end up together pls let addy have her independence arc

OH SHIT THEM BEATING THE FUCK OUT OF EACH OTHER

him hurting coop wtf sir

oh no not this happening in front of everyone oh no oh NO

but also jake was way calmer in the books

vanessa SUUUUUUUCKS

OH MY GOD NATES SECRET IS SO MUCH MORE INTENSE

maeve lmaoooo i love u

“don’t u think nate could have done it” WHY WOULD NATE EXPOSE HIS OWN SECRET THIS PLOT HOLE ANNOYS ME SO MUCH as soon as their secret is exposed it basically excludes them from being the killer

LMAO NATE AND ADDY I LOVE IT

“i could literally kill” “another thing you should keep to yourself” PLEASE 😭😭

COOPER STOP YELLING PLEASE i don’t GET why they’ve made these choices

thank YOU ADDY EXACTLY my point about the secret

maeve’s nosebleed oh my god oh my god

lmao oh NO bronwyn knows about the laptop

bronwyn really turned on her sister like 0.2 seconds flat

COOPER YES THANK U

maeve was friends with simon?!! what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

oh no coopers secret fuck

also cooper hurting his shoulder NO

ugh i knew they would make kris buy from nate that’s so out of his character

seems weird that they wouldn’t have had this conversation earlier??? uhh tell me why they don’t know each other at all

maeve being a Good Sister

ooooh the phones make their first appearance

why is cooper so aggressive that’s so out of character did they forget he’s literally supposed to be sunshine boy

why would jake defend addy lol he’s supposed to egg on the drama

ahhh addy and janae bathroom scene iconicccc

“you suck like 20% less” lmao janae do not make me like you

WHY would maeve be friends with simon i do not get the direction we have taken here

WHY WOULD MAEVE BE IN LOVE WITH SIMON I DO NOT GET THE DIRECTION WE HAVE TAKEN HERE

????????????????????????? IM GENUINELY BAFFLED I AM LOST I AM CONFUSED

okay so?? addy & bronwyn are the only characters that are staying true to the books let’s be honest

oooft maeve call her out let’s go

oh my god cooper and nate friends?? it’s sweet.

wait coopers mom is dead in this

cooper and nate FRIENDS 🥺🥺🥺

KRIS KRIS KRIS KRIS

FUCK i am stressed for cooper rn oh my good god

kris wearing glasses oh cute

oh no poor baby is so hurt and stressed i’m 😭

DAMN STRAIGHT COOPER HE IS A SAD PATHETIC BULLY WHEN YOURE RIGHT YOURE RIGHT

GET EM BABY LETS GO POP OFF K I N G 91 MPH LETS GO

“i did it” oh shit

“i would fail and that just wasn’t an option” relatable tbh

her parents suck lol

cooper is so happy i’m stressed to my core he’s gonna get caught with pain killers i can’t be having it

OH NO OH NO KEELY AND KRIS IS THERE AND OH SHIT OH NO

NOT KRIS CRYING HOLD ON IM i gasped

“and your dad knows too” CAN U PLS GIVE HIM A FUCKING BREAK KRIS ITS LITERALLY A PLOT POINT IN THE BOOKS THAT KRIS NEVER PRESSURES HIM TO COME OUT I AM M A D

detective is gonna out cooper i will fight to the death this bitch

nate and bronwyn here we GO

OVERALL

look, it’s enjoyable. i think the actors are great, and theyre certainly really talented. i think addy and bronwyn are the best adapted, though even then they have some moments that make me think “wtf” like bronwyn stealing the laptop, and jake not being half as aggressive as he’s supposed to be

i like cooper’s storyline with his family & keely, although it’s obviously completely different from the books & takes away from how totally closeted he was there. i’m really torn, i like his character, but i like him as like, someone completely different from book!cooper, because i feel like apart from baseball, they barely have anything in common? cooper doesn’t lie to kris, he wouldn’t approach nate for drugs, he wouldn’t get aggressive with him either, and the closest he ever gets to accusing anyone is saying that peanut oil is a “weird kind of coincidence”. i knew it would be different but it’s very, very different. i guess i just have to get used to it? also kris is just not even close to being the same i mean he’s not a model, he’s not german, he doesn’t know about keely?? cooper says in the book that kris would “never force him to come out” or make him feel bad about it, but it’s like the first thing we see kris do. which is understandable in his situation, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just not at all what he’s like in the books

maeve’s storyline is,, a decision and i don’t understand why she would be friends with simon when her whole entire thing in the book is being grossed out by him

OKAY so concludingly, let me be clear, i do LIKE it. i think it’s fun and it’s interesting and the actors are great. obviously i’m being hypercritical in this bc i’m comparing it to the books. thats not to say there isn’t things i liked bc there definitely definitely is! but i’m also now looking at it as something completely separate from oouil bc apart from the primary plot points, there’s basically nothing in common

#oouil tv #oouil spoilers #one of us is lying #oouil #one of us is lying peacock #trying to tag anything people might have blacklisted if they don’t want spoilers

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 5

a/n: ong this is going to be a bit of a crack episode w a tiny dash of flirty manager

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

-Watch the boys be all dramatic when yn misses a few days of school and suddenly show up with a broken arm😭✊🏻😔

- Dunno if this is a dream or not but i think you mentioned that yn is clumsy. Just imagine her carrying those cute band aids around for when she gets hurt. But what if she uses them on the boys when they get hurt

tumblr moot:

- She is looking down at the boy who is checking her scrap on her knee, when she smiles all cutely and shit "I fell for you" And cue the boy having a heart attack because she is way to cute

im totally not running out of seijoh gifs or anything

anyways!!

lets start!!

okay as mentioned before and as read above,,

you are quite clumsy

like there is a normal level of clumsy

but you are just on another level

like in manager part 2, your mom ltr was not shocked when you said you fell up the stairs like ‘oh okay. the weathers nice today’

lmao what

and youre also the type to not even know you got hurt like youd just be scratching your arm and youd find a bruise 

‘how did that get there?’

so it was common to find you with band-aids on you and bruises all over

like you entered the gym for practice and you were just doing your normal manager tingz when our meme bois saw you and zoomed towards you

‘y/n-chan!!! we missed you!!!!

makki screeched which scared you so you dropped the crate of bottles onto your feet

‘owie’

you mumbled, the pain settling in at an overwhelmingly quick pace so there were tiny tears in your eyes

the duo gasped and quickly kicked the crate to the side like they were angry at it for hurting you

uwu omg thats so cute

or the one time you were wiping the sweat from kyo’s forehead

he had a small soft smile that could only be seen by you as you got rid of the sweat 

but that smile turned into a frown when he got a glimpse at the discoloration on certain parts of your arms

‘y/n’

he whispered

you blinked up and he gently grabbed your arm, fingertips ghosting over the bruises

‘how could you do this to your beautiful skin’

he mumbles and you shrugged

‘hmm,,, i didnt even know they were there’

kyo shook his head with an amused chuckle and iwa, who was drinking water at the side, noticed you two

then he noticed more at your other arm and baby boi hurriedly ran over to you

next thing you know, you got best bois fussing over you always hurting yourself and kyo gently headbutts you to tell you off while iwa flicks your nose

‘honestly, we cant trust you by yourself’

you just giggled at them which caused them to stumble and fluster

THESE BOYS ARE SO SOFT LIKE PLEASE

its quite normal for you to look like you just fell down the stairs and be so surprised whenever the boys point it out

like youd have this confused pout  and tilt your head ‘hm? hello. how did you get here’

its kinda cute

and ofc you would naturally have your ointments for bruises or a first aid kit at all times bc you never really know when it happens and you need to treat it quickly

the boys always count on you for medical tape when their fingers bleed or whenever watari gets bruises all over his legs bc of too many flying dives

the bench was a common place for you to treat the others and our libero babie was sitting there at one practice

you were kneeled on the floor and gently applying ointment on the growing colors on his skin 

‘hmm,,, wata-san, be careful next time, okay? your skin is really soft and pretty. its a shame to ruin it’

he wanted to scoff at the irony and the hypocritical comment but your worried and concerned eyes made him softly smile and nod

‘mhm. i will’

even though it was uneeded on reddened places, you would dig in your bag and fish out a gudetama bandaid on it

it was like a doctor’s signature for you and it makes the boys ltr fall in love with you all over again

ororororor that one time where kindaichi accidentally got a papercut during your study sessions and he was tearing up slightly at the pain

LMAO YALL REALLY OUT HERE TOUGHING OUT PAPERCUTS LIKE ITS NOTHING BUT I ACT LIKE I GOT STABBED 10 TIMES 

you grinned at him to show that it was going to be okay and he let you sit on his lap so you could treat it

he still had a pout and you were giving him forehead kisses to calm him down

‘see? its going to be okay. nurse y/n-chan is the best out there and she’ll take care of you!’

he laughed slightly and you victoriously smiled

once it was all wrapped up, you placed a kiss on it

‘ya gotta kiss it to make it better’

not saying im doing a kindaichi route or anything but he may or may not tackled you with kisses with that comment

but sometimes, they would have to be the one to put that bandaid on you

like one day, you were walking down the stairs to go to the changing rooms for practice and humming softly when you caught sight of the tall volleyball player mattsun at the bottom of the stairs

he was just passing by and you noticed him, waving your hand and shouting his name

‘mattsun-san!’

you greeted and he turned and he smiled brightly at you

you excitedly increased your pace going down the stairs, not noticing that you stepped on the edge of the step and caused your foot to slip

unfortunately, mattsun was too far away for him to catch you so you tripped and scraped your knee

he flashnyoomed over to you and kneeled in front of you to examine it

ofc it hurt like hell but you put up a brave front

‘its okay, mattsun-san’

his adorable eyebrows scrunched in concern and he quickly shook his head and gently picked you up to sit 2 steps up

you watched silently as he grabbed ahold of the familiar blue first aid kit from your bag and he opened it to take out alcohol and other treatment things

his fingers worked to open the bottle and pour a little bit of alcohol before he gently reached out to grab your leg

but before that, our babie mattsun is a gentleman and looked up for a permission to help you

‘its okay, mattsun-san’

you giggled and you booped his nose

he was slowly cleaning the wound and you could still tell he was worried with how his brows were still furrowed

‘mattsun-san’

you called out and he looked up

you smiled cutely and looked down, flustered, then met his eyes again

‘i fell for you’

mattsun.exe stopped working

like deadass he blanked for a second then his brain processed what you said and when he did, he dropped the cotton ball and his face blew up red

this babie grimaced, eyes shutting tightly and head leaning on your thigh

you giggled at him and ran your hands through his hair

‘i swear, y/n, i swear’

he kept mumbling and his heartbeat quickened to the point he felt faint and he felt light-headed

you were just too cute

too damn cute for his heart

too damn cute for this world

just too cute

and thats not good

mattsun quickly regained his senses and hurriedly placed the ointment and the bandaid on to finish the job

you reached out with your hands for a hug and mattsun gladly leaned in and you clung to him like a koala which made him hold you tightly against his chest

‘hmm~~~~ thank you, mattsun-san’

you appreciated and gave him a kiss on his cheek in gratitude which made him hide his face in your neck

‘im going to get a heart attack, y/n. take responsibility’

he mumbled, nipping your neck 

you chuckled and played with the hair on his neck

‘hm~ okay~ i take responsibility~’

I SWEAR MY MATTSUN SIMP IS NOW PEAKING THROUGH

that was only one of the accidents the seijoh boys went through with you and i swear those boys have superior intelligence in medical care just because you get hurt so much

until that one faithful day

you werent there

you werent at school or at practice

ofc you texted the coaches and the team that you werent going to be at school for a while and they spammed you asking what happened or if you were okay

but you didnt want to worry them so you just said that you were okay and it was just something that happened

ONG OIKAWA ACTUALLY CAME TO YOUR HOUSE BUT YOU TOLD YOUR PARENTS AND NATSU TO TELL HIM TO GO AWAY BC IF HE FINDS OUT WHAT HAPPENED, THE CHILE WILL STORM INTO YOUR ROOM AND LECTURE YOU 

HE ONLY WENT AWAY WHEN YOUR DAD CAME OUT WITH A BROOM AND THREATENED TO HIT HIM IF HE CONTINUES TO BOTHER YOU

UKAI VIBES HONESTLY

IS UKAI YOUR FATHER?

CONSPIRACY THEORY?

BUZZFEED UNSOLVED COME SOLVE THIS

then you finally appeared

dear god 

kunimi saw you enter the classroom and he almost shot up to saturn when he saw your cast

‘y/n!’

he shouted and kindaichi heard it from his classroom beside yours and he also usain bolted towards your classroom to your desk

the boi texted the team you were here and they all raced to your classroom 

EVERYONE WAS HAVING A FIELD DAY WITH THE APPEARANCE OF THE BEAUTIFUL VOLLEYBALL TEAM LIKE THE BOYS + YOU?! GODSEND

oikawa screeched at the sight of your arm and everyone was firing questions at you but you couldnt focus on one so you just sat there sheepishly smiling

‘Y/N! WHAT DID-’

‘I SWEAR ITS LIKE WE HAVE TO-’

‘MY HEART ALMOST DIED!! I THOUGHT YOU DIED-’

thank god your professor entered the shooed them out with a large textbook but your teacher smiled at you

‘l/n, good to have you back’

at lunch, dear god there was a riot

kunimi strong man kunimi hoisted you in his arms and walked over to the hidden team stairwell where everyone was waiting

they all had narrowed eyes and crossed arms, with iwakyo tapping their foot

you did the 🥺👉👈 and their eyes softened at that sight alone

‘you see,,,, i had a,,, concert,,, in the shower,,, and slipped’

they blinked, confusion swirling over everyone’s head

‘excuse me? you said you slipped in the bath?’

‘for a concert?’

‘you sing?’

the team facepalmed at the reason you came in with a broken arm and you pouted at them

‘sorry, captain, everyone. i didnt mean to’

you mumbled but the others couldnt blame you so they pulled you to a group hug

‘i swear, y/n-chan, you will get yourself killed one day’

‘sorry’

you apologized again but oikawa flicked your nose

‘no dont apologize. we’ll just have to be there for you constantly to look out for you’

and he stuck to that word

like oikawa came over to your house early in the morning to pick you up from school and your dad thought it was just him bothering again

so he sighed, placed his newspaper down, took a sip of tea, then stood up to go to the closet for his broom

this mans took a deep breath before opening his door and shouting and waving his broom around maniacally

‘SHUT UP!!! YOURE DISTURBING THE NEIGHBORS!! I WILL BEAT YOUR LOUD CRUSTY DUSTY-’

that woke up everyone in the house and you bolted down the stairs, terrified yet chuckling at the sight

then something happened for everyone in the neighborhood-or Japan- to wake up

yanno the drill ladies and gents

oikawa screamed

a/n: sorry i disappeared for a HOT SEC but im back!! and we finally going back to the groove!!! and uwu thanks for sticking by and waiting for another update and the next one might be my first not-seijoh work in a LONG WHILE so look forward to that!!! 

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! headcanons #aoba johsai #aoba johsai x reader #aoba josai x reader #aoba josai #seijoh #aoba johsai imagines #aoba josai imagines #seijoh imagines #seijoh manager #haikyuu manager #haikyuu!! manager #aoba johsai manager #aoba josai manager #seijoh x reader #aoba johsai headcanons #aoba josai headcanons #seijoh headcanons #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu!! fluff #aoba johsai fluff #aoba josai fluff #seijoh fluff

[deardiaryvlog]

Day #2

Dear diary, im not sure where i am. I just took the car and drove away. I know it sounds a bit dramatic, but i honestly felt like i need to get out.

After i started to realize they left without me, i went downstairs to make sure. My mom wasnt around, but i asked my dad-who decided to not go and its completely fine as you can see. He confirmed my mom left without me. And told me to sit down. He was acting like he wants to "talk" for the past 3 days, even since my fight with my brother and mother. I didn't sit, i went inside the house and took my bag and car key. He stopped me again and told me to sit. Out porch is pretty big. I stopped, waiting for him to talk.

He said "whats going on with you?" What a stupid question, i thought. You know very well whats up. I let out half a laugh for the irony, streightened the chair and sat. I told him whats up. Very clearly. I dont know if he acted like he understand or he actualy did. The labels i get ever since i got here, the disses, its not fair. What my mom told me in the fight we had? I told him i saw what she thinks of me and what am i supposed to do if she already made up her mind about me? Why do i need to fight? I told him that her stupid way of dissing my feelings while protecting my brother - my grown ass brother mind you - and saying he is a saint is not fair. But that im no longer gonna fight it, if tjats what she thinks, she can have it.

When my father was a kid he was dislectic. He should know better what its like to feel labeled. They used to say hes an idiot, stupid, cant even read or write. Back then they didnt know what it means a dislectic. And he suffered others ignorance. I told him that now, thats what i feel. What could he have done back then to fight those labels? Nothing. Thats how i feel. And i think he understood, i hope.

Its funny how from all people its my father who tried to get it. The reason i have so much bagage regarding him is the fact he had a drinking problem, or as its called, he was an alcoholic. And my whole life i couldnt explain why i had a beef with him, i locked those memories deep inside my mind so i wont remember, and when i did, it was a hellshow.

I thought im gonna go to mcdonalds drivethrough to take food, i still hasnt eaten. I decided to not do that for now, i dont want to be both sad and fat.

Im gonna go roll myself one, hope it will help

#writers on tumblr #writing #dear diary #mine #me

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 23

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.9k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: its a bit longer. and i hope its not too much or too exaggerated? anyway, you tell me. i really want to know what you really think, thank you!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : only one, no spoiler :)

Chapter 23 : His chapter

NIALL

I woke up with dried tears and the sun peaking through the curtains. I had no idea what time it was but Olivia was still pressed against me and I was holding her close, as if we hadn't moved at all during the night. I moved my face in her hair, smelling the honey and vanilla scent, before leaving a kiss on top of her head. She moaned low and moved closer, rubbing her nose on my neck.

"Mm, Niall." she whispered, making my lips curl.

I didn't know how she'd ever marry an other man after everything we went through and I didn't want to believe I was just some sort of friend with benefits that she used to have a 'fun time' before marrying someone else and spending her life with him. That was not the type of things she did and there was no way this made any sense. She didn't mention it, though, and  didn't want to put any kind of pressure on her. She knew how I felt and I'd keep telling her until she'd make it clear she didn't want to hear it anymore.

"'Morning, petal. How did you sleep?" I asked, keeping my voice very low.

"With your song in head." she admitted just as low, leaving small kisses on my neck. "You really wrote that for me?"

I opened my eyes  and pressed my cheek on top of her head. "I was not expecting to see you at the bakery that day, but if I had known, I would have expected my feelings for you to be exactly that. I knew I was still in love with you, Olivia. I knew when I broke up with you, and I knew all the time we were not together."

We remained quiet and I felt her fingers on my back, holding me against her, as if i wanted to move away anyway. Her warm and naked body against mine felt so good I could have stayed in this position all day.

"If you were always in love with me, Niall, why did you leave me?" she asked low, her voice almost cracking. "Why was everything else so important? Why did you need to be single and fuck around? Why wasn't I enough?"

I closed my eyes tight again and swallowed hard. Her questions were legit and my answers were sad. I squeezed her harder against me and licked my lips, trying to find the right words.

"I was selfish, and stupid. Honestly, Olivia, a big part of me knew you were unhappy. You were always hurt by stuff online or by the things I did and said. I felt like you wanted out and that eventually you'd end up hating me and leaving anyway. I left because your heart was in this relationship but your head was driving you insane."

She pulled away and her eyes met mine. She was frowning, her lips parted, and she shook her head.

"What?" she whispered, making me close my eyes again and sigh. "You're either trying to put this on me or you're literally telling me that you left because you thought that's what I wanted. I mean, you don't get to make that decision for me, Niall."

"I know, I mean I should have told you but-" she pulled away from me and sat in bed before rubbing her eyes. "I mean, Liv, It's true, you were miserable with me."

"Maybe because you kept flirting with every fucking girl you met!"

She got up and grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a shirt and something twisted in my stomach when I realized she hadn't picked the one I was wearing the day before. She was pissed, or hurt... or both.

"I know, I know I was wrong. I would never do that again."

"Well, I don't know if I believe you." she let out, grabbing her phone and getting out of the room.

I sighed and got up too, putting pretty much the same outfit as her and following her to the kitchen as she grabbed a water bottle in the fridge and started drinking from it.

"Olivia, I haven't flirted with anyone since.. I can't remember, but it's been months."

"What about in a year, Niall? When you'll be tired of me. When you'll be tired that I'm the only one you get to see naked, the only one you get to fuck. What will happen, then?"

Her tone was harsh and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared at her. I could understand how she felt, and at the same time, I knew she was aware that I was not the same man than I used to be.

"That will never happen again. Never." I let out seriously. "I will never get tired of you."

Her eyes softened for a few seconds but she quickly frowned again.

"Anyway that's not the point, you took a decision for me and you should have talked to me about it instead. You can't decide what I want or what I should do!"

"You're right, I can't. But don't you feel better now? You worked so much on yourself, you grew up and matured for the better, and I did too. I love to see you so confident about yourself, look what you accomplished! You have your own tv show, you do something you love and you get paid for it. You're so balanced and you look so happy and you love yourself!" I argued, taking a step closer.

"Okay, do you want me to thank you for it? Thank you, Niall, for breaking my heart."

Her voice was not as harsh and I felt like she knew I was right. I shook my head and sighed, daring to take an other step closer.

"No, you have only yourself to thank. You're the one who did all that. You owe it only to you. And you're right, I was a selfish prick and the fact that you weren't happy with me just comforted me in choosing my freedom over you." I explained gently. "But I love you. I changed. I want to show you that I changed."

She sighed and I was getting mad. I was not really mad at her, I was more mad at myself for not being able to express myself properly, and for the way I acted when we dated. I was pissed because she was right, and because her pain was legit. I was mad because I wanted her back and because I was scared our day was ruined.

"Well love is not everything, remember? It takes more than that." she pointed out roughly. "A lot more."

I felt something explode inside me, like a mix of anger and pain that I was unable to keep inside anymore and I shook my head roughly, throwing my arms up.

"If I could I'd take it back okay!" my voice was loud but I could feel sobs threatening to come out.

"Take what back?" she asked with an annoyed tone.

"That stupid break-up!" I admitted just as loud. "That fucking ridiculous break-up! I'd take it back in a heartbeat if I could! I'd erase it from our history forever! I regret it! It's the biggest regret of my life!"

Her eyes got bigger and her lips parted slightly. She seemed so surprised by my words that it calmed her immediately. I watched her lick her lips slowly, trying to keep my own tears in.

"If you hadn't broken up with me, Niall, you wouldn't know that." she started, this time in a low and soft voice. "You'd still be unsure of what you want, you wouldn't know if you really loved me. You had to lose me to realize that you actually wanted me. Do you see the irony, Niall? Do you realize how fucked up it is?"

I sighed again and walked to her, grabbing a chair and sitting down at the table, my elbows on the table and my face in my hands. I didn't want to fight with her, and I knew we could have a discussion without fighting. I breathed in and out a few times and when I felt calm, I opened my eyes again. She was sitting in front of me and she seemed calm too now.

"It is. It's fucked up." I admitted, staring at her. "I don't know how to tell you how sorry I am, Olivia."

"I already forgave you for that, Niall." she pointed out gently. "I'm sorry for bringing it back."

I let my arms fall on the table and opened my hands, palms up. She looked down and nibbled on her bottom lip for a few seconds before placing her hands in mine.

"Heidi sent me that picture of you in a wedding dress to make us fight but we did it by ourselves." I just said with a sad chuckle.

"It's normal to fight, sometimes, as long as we know how to make up, too." she explained. "We're better at this, aren't we?"

The left corner of my lips raised up. "We were never bad at it, but we're even better now, it's true."

I squeezed both her hands before letting go of one and grabbing the other with both of mine. I turned her hand so her palm was facing up and ran the tip of my forefinger on it gently. After a few seconds, she quivered slightly and my lips curled more. I loved having an effect on her.

"We're gonna have to talk about what we did when we were apart." I finally said, still staring at her hand.

I couldn't help but think about what Heidi told me and for some reason, I wanted to prove her wrong, even if she would never know. Olivia was not the kind of person to push me away for my mistakes. She never did it, and I felt like she never would. She didn't judge anyone and she always tried to make you feel better when you felt at your worst. I didn't want to believe that the bad decisions I took while we were apart would just ruin what we could have now and at the same time, I felt like she deserved to know before anything serious happened between us, if it was ever going to happen.

Her fingers slipped out of my hands as she brought her arms back to her and it made me look up. She was avoiding my gaze and it made me frown. Didn't she want to know what I did without her? Or was she just too scared to be hurt by my behavior that just thinking about that discussion made her feel bad?

"Not now, okay?"

I frowned, a bit surprised by how she literally closed up completely in front of me. It was so sudden that I realized maybe the problem was not what she was going to hear, but more what she was going to say.

"It's important, you know."

She shut her eyes tight and nodded. "I know."

I waited for her to open her eyes again but she didn't and I reached for her wrist over the table. "There's a fair in town, you want to go?"

Her eyes finally fluttered open and her lips curled a bit before she nodded. I realized she was uncomfortable with the discussion I wanted to have but I couldn't help but think it was needed. I was ready to wait but we couldn't push this discussion back forever, and I wanted her to hear it from me and not from anyone else.

"Okay, let's get ready then."

Her smile got bigger and she nodded again before getting up and going back to my room. I got up too and watched her leave, taking her water bottle and swallowing what was left it in. I was not the type to worry but this time, i felt curious and a bit scared. I was nervous to tell her about what I had done but I felt like she was keeping some things to herself too and although she didn't have to tell me what it was, I hoped she would.

When I got back to my room, I heard the shower and smiled despite myself. Without thinking, I took my clothes off and joined her quickly. She chuckled when she saw me but didn't tell me to leave and I quickly took the shampoo, rubbing it in her hair as she closed her eyes, a smile still gracing her lips.

"Your hair's gonna smell like my shampoo now." I said in a low tone. "Makes me sad. I prefer the way it smells normally."

She laughed and her eyes met mine when she opened them before shaking her head.

"Here's a secret I can tell you, Niall James Horan." she started, her eyes sparkling with amusement. "It's not my shampoo that has that smell."

My eyes opened wide and I chuckled low. "It's not?" she shook her head more. "What is it, then?"

This time, she just raised her nose up and took some foam from her hair only to wipe it on the tip of my nose. I raised it up and groaned, making her burst into laughter. She took a step back and let her head fall back to rinse her hair. I stared at her wet body for a few seconds before taking the shampoo again and washing my own hair.

We got prepared and left and this time, we took my car. We stopped at a restaurant to eat even if it was in the middle of the afternoon and ended at the fair a bit after 5. We could already see the sun setting and I realized time always passed fast when I was with her. I motioned to grab her hand without thinking but stopped right on time. It made my heart jump in my chest and I just turned my face to her to send her a smile.

"I like when you wear a cap." she just said, grabbing the front and pulling it down.

I took it off to put it back correctly and she laughed right before apologizing. I was happy to be there with her and I just hoped I wouldn't be recognized. It would just be incredibly nice to walk around holding hands and not holding inside all the affection we felt for each other but at the same time, I knew it was risky for her. Anyway, I was never the one who enjoyed PDA, even if I had derogated from my own rule a few times with her.

"I like when you wear a smile." I replied.

Her traits softened and her head tilted. Her smile turned into a fond one and just for that look, it was worth saying that cheesy line.

"I almost forgot how well you can sweet talk women."

This time, I laughed. "You know that's a lie."

"You're not as awkward as you think you are, Nee." she pointed out with a laugh as she walked towards a booth. "But I admit that your good look helps a lot."

This time, I laughed louder. "Glad you finally admit it." I joked as she quickly ordered cotton candy.

I reached for her hand with one of mine while the other searched through my pants. I handed the guy a bill and didn't send a glance to my ex girlfriend. I knew she was staring at me but I just thanked him and turned around as she followed me.

"I can pay for my own shit." she pointed out as I saw her lick her lips from the corner of my eyes. "But thank you. I also almost forgot how much of a gentleman you are. Well, in public, because in the bedroom you're-"

"Oh god stop!" I laughed, turning to her this time and noticing the large smile on her face.

She laughed too and I rolled my eyes as we walked to an other booth. No matter what we did together, it was always fun and it made me realize just how bad I wanted to really be with her again.

"So if I win you this pink bear right there, are you gonna sleep with it?" I asked with a smirk.

She tilted her head but moved her chin up and I kept looking at her as her eyes got smaller. She brought her finger and tapped her chin a few times, pretending to think and I rolled my eyes again at how dramatic she could get. I should have known she'd be a good actress.

"Yea definitely." she finally replied with a nod. "He'll sleep right between us so I can cuddle with him."

I raised my eyebrows and my head moved back. "Well in that case, I think we're just gonna try a few rides and leave him here."

I put my hands in my pockets and pretended to leave until she reached for my arm. "Noo, no, I will leave him on the nightstand when I'm with you."

I stopped and smiled big, amused by her behavior and finally turned back to her before nodding slowly. "Alright."

It took me 3 tries but I finally got it and handed it to her. Her smile got bigger and I could swear I saw a hint of red on her cheeks but I didn't mention it. She grabbed it and held it close to her as she was nibbling her bottom lip and she mumbled a 'thank you' that made me chuckle.

"You could have just paid to get it you know." she pointed out after a few seconds. "It would have costed you a few dollars but you didn't have to really play the game."

"Wouldn't have been the same would it?" I shrugged, sending her a wink. "Wouldn't have been as romantic." I made a pause. "And cheesy."

She laughed and my heart jumped in my chest, almost escaping from my throat. She kept the damn bear with her in all the rides, holding it between her thighs and even if she was not a big fan of rides, we did a few gentle ones. It's only when it was really dark outside that I noticed how she was looking at all the lights. She grabbed her phone and started taking pictures before turning to me and snapping one of me. It took me by surprise but I pulled her closer and grabbed her phone before taking a selfie of us. I took a look at it and held my breath when I looked at her. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were shut tight and her nose was up, and it reminded me of a selfie she had sent me when we were dating and I was traveling Asia. I quickly sent myself the picture from her phone and handed it back to her.

We remained in silence and kept walking. I had to leave my hands in my pockets to make sure I wouldn't just bring her close to me and when she pointed the ferris wheel, I raised my eyebrows at her.

"I thought I was cheesy but you're the queen."

"How about you be me king and come with me? I'd love to kiss you without anyone seeing." she admitted in a very low tone. "You in?"

"People normally go there for the incredible sight we get at the top."

"I have an incredible sight right here, in front of me." she confessed, making me chuckle. "Please, Niall."

I was just playing with her, there was nothing I wanted more than to kiss her at the exact moment, and it seemed like it took forever until we were at the top. I watched the dark sky and all the neon lights around the fair for a few seconds before turning to her and quickly kissing her. I felt all my body relax, like I had been waiting for this moment all day, and when she whimpered in my mouth, I groaned too, holding her cheeks with both my hands. When we started going back down, I stopped kissing her but leaned my forehead against hers, still cupping her face. We finally got out of the ride and that's when trouble started. I noticed someone take a picture and my heart skipped a beat.

"What the..."

"What's wrong?"

"Fuck, Liv, we have to go." I whispered, grabbing her arm gently and leading her to the exist as quick as I could.

I glanced behind us until we were in my car and started it, driving away from that place and looking in the rear view mirror a few times. I only relaxed when I was sure we were not followed and noticed she was staring at me, her head leaned on the seat.

"I'm sorry." I let out with a sad smile.

"Are you doing this for me?" she asked, blinking a few times and ignoring my apology. "I mean I know you don't like to be seen in public and pictures being taken and all, but did you leave quickly like that because I'm supposed to marry someone else and you were scared people would talk shit?"

"Mostly, yea." I just admitted as I brought my eyes back on the road.

We remained silent for a few minutes and I had no idea what was going on in her head until I heard her voice again.

"I love you, Niall Horan."

                                                ----

We were exhausted when we came back to my place and I just rushed to the kitchen to pour us two glasses of white wine. She followed me, putting her pink bear on the table as I handed her a glass. She drank half of it but she weirdly seemed serene and calm. I thought she'd go crazy knowing that someone had taken a few pictures of us but she didn't seem to care at all. It's not like she was not used to it but at the same time, she never liked it and it always bothered her, making her current behavior even more intriguing.

"Okay, tell me, I'm ready." she just said after exhaling deeply. I frowned at her and she pressed her lips together. "Tell me what you did that's so horrible while we were away from each other."

In the morning, she was the one who didn't want to talk about it and now, it was me. Perhaps I just didn't want to ruin such a perfect day. I pulled a chair and let myself fall on it but instead to sit in front of me, she sat at the end of the table and turned her chair sideways to face me. I took my glass and moved it a bit only to watch the pale liquid move in it.

"I slept with some girls before I started dating Heidi, but I couldn't find what I was looking for until I met this girl at a bar. She was shaped like you, had your hair color and your smile and in the dark, she could have been you, you know? I just... I let out your name while we were fucking and maybe I had to pay her to keep her mouth shut."

"Are you... sure she was not just a prostitute?"

I looked up at her with a small smile. "No."

"Oh." she pressed her lips together. "Was she as good as me?"

I chuckled sadly and shook my head. "No one is."

I remained silent for a minute or two, trying to make sense of my thoughts before continuing.

"I tried a few drugs. You know it was never my type but I needed to sort of... get away. One time Heidi had to pick me up at your old apartment because I was hitting the door and screaming your name in the middle of the night but you had already moved out." I scoffed at myself, I couldn't believe how pathetic I had been. "I'm not gonna get into details but I also started a fight in a pub. Just hit some arsehole that said something about you."

"What about me..."

"Something sexual that's clearly not worth repeating."

"It seems like you did many things that were out of character." she said cautiously. "But that's what you wanted, right? Try new things and just live your life? Why do you regret it?"

"Because nothing was worth losing you, Olivia." I admitted a little louder, looking up in her eyes as her face softened again. "I was miserable. I was a pathetic piece of shit. I know you probably think low of me now but I just, I had to tell you."

Her eyes dropped slowly to her lap and she nibbled on her bottom lip nervously. I waited, feeling suddenly anxious, scared that she'd just get up and leave, or tell me that she couldn't go on with me, but when she sniffed and rubbed her fingers on her nose, I realized she was crying.

"I remember when I saw the first picture of you and Heidi online. The article said you two were dating now and she was kissing you." she let out in a very low tone without looking at me. "I was alone at home and I started crying. It made me realize that it was really over, it made me believe that you were over me, that the problem was not that you wanted to be single, but just that you didn't want to be with me. I cried so hard I couldn't see straight and I just... I went to the bathroom and I..." she sighed and swallowed again, closing her eyes this time. "I just swallowed all the fucking pills I found. I swallowed them all and lied down on the floor for so long I couldn't keep track of time. All I can remember is the tiles being very cold and the stomachache. It was so intense I couldn't move and It was literally the only thing that stopped me from falling asleep."

I listened to her as my eyes watered. I felt nauseous but I just swallowed hard, feeling a big lump on my throat. I could barely believe what I was hearing. I hadn't heard anything about that and to me, she always seemed so happy when she was out with my friends, even after we broke up, it was hard to believe she was sad enough to do something like that.

"Louis found me. I remember he let out so many curse words, even for him. He searched for something but couldn't find anything to make me throw up so he just sat me up in front of the toilet and pushed his fingers down my throat. Nothing had ever hurt me like that. I think I threw up for a solid ten minutes." she added, shaking her head, her eyes still closed. "Then he called his doctor and he drove me there."

I was crying. I had actual tears rolling down my cheeks but I couldn't move. I felt angry and hurt but also extremely guilty.

"Why the fuck did you do that, Olivia?" my voice was a simple murmur and I swallowed again. The lump was so big that it hurt. "Do you... did you think about how sad everyone would have been, including me? You would have left me alone in this stupid world without you?"

This time, she looked up at me and I noticed she was crying too. When she saw my tears, her face changed but she just licked her lips and sniffed.

"You left me first."

Slowly, I got up, feeling very weak, my legs wobbling slightly. I knelt in front of her and put my hands on her knees, looking up in her eyes. I had been so close to lose her forever and I didn't even know. Why didn't anyone tell me? Why didn't Louis tell me anything?

"I don't want you to ever do that again, you hear me?" I tried to be firm but my voice cracked as I kept crying and suddenly, I burst into tears, leaning my forehead on her thigh. "Don't you fucking do that ever again." I added, my mouth pressed on her jeans.

I felt her hand slide gently in my hair and the contact of her skin with mine was soothing. I turned my head to lean my cheek on her thigh and catch some air as both of my hands gripped her tight.

"I'll never do it again, Niall. I was depressed, I took antidepressants after that, and I survived this." she explained low.

"Promise me, Olivia." I asked before looking up at her. "Look me in the eyes and promise me you will never fucking do that again, no matter what happens."

She held her breath and I knew she was on the verge of tears too. She finally nodded and I gripped her thighs harder.

"I promise, Niall. " she breathed. "I swear on my love for you."

#niall horan #niall horan story #niall horan fluff #niall horan smut #niall horan writing #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #my fanfics #yam #im stressed i hope its not too much

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you mrs. used to be a party goer lefty eyebag 😅

Well, make sure you don't pull it out or you'll get twice as much gray hair! Besides, if you look good now with your hair color, you'll probably look good when you get more gray.

I was just teasing about you not spoiling anything 😅 I like that you gave us readers a chance to explore the possibilities of what could've happened to Yelena. Same with the Natasha and R portions where you just skipped over the months, leaving it to our imagination and making it sort of free for all to think how they want to.

I kind of feel bad when I do that though, cause it was your story to tell and then me imagining different scenarios for the characters makes me feel like I'm cheating on the author's thought process... does that make sense? Lol

My favorite part with the whole fic is finding out R's past. It gave insight on how they became what they are now. And I like that in stories, cause if that wasn't in the story, I'd keep wondering the whys. I also enjoyed the detail when R was showing Natasha how to get rid of the body.

So with your husband, did you guys stay together for a bit before getting married?

Hey now, I could have asked for more songs but then you'd be writing all night and might have to make 2 to 3 days to post the response...like your stories..hahaha just kidding 🤣 but 600 songs is not that much to be honest.. how many genres of music do you like?

Wild old times huh 😏sounds like a crazy fun summer. But you never got into the pool at all? And you didn't mingle with any pretty girls back then? Cause you know, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas anyways lol

Hm, I'd have to do a rain check on my list. Summer for me was always about bbq on the grill and working lol

Okay next, top 3 songs that was your favorite from your childhood.

-CuriousGeorge

Hello hello old head who cant stay up late righty eyebag!😅

Sorry i fell asleep last night..(the irony after i call u old head who cant stay up late 😅🤣)

How r u today? Whats ur plan for today? I woke up with worse allergy than yesterday..i cant wait to get rid of that tree, i swear.. 😅🤣 i got headache all day yesterday n today i feel shitty.

Haha yeah i hv been pulling those greay hairs n it keeps grow back n i found more. Some of them even look like a silver-ish color of grey so i looks a little shinny when the light hits it.😅😅

Aw thank youuu.. i hope so too but burgundy red n grey r total different color though, so it could have a total oposite look.😁

Yeah sometimes i like to do that, leaving some space or part for people to imagine the possibilities (not pasta-bilities though 🤣)

Yeah i got what u meant with feeling bad about imagining other different possibilites that u have in mind.

Ohhh so u told me the good dark possibility that happen to yelena last night, so it means u hv cheated on my thought's process about the story??🤨 how could u!! I cant believe u do that! *soap opera dramatic scene* 🤣🤣🤣 just kidding just kidding.

Haha true, u can ask for more songs but u only asked 3 but u know what? Im gonna rebel a bit n i will give u another more of the songs that reminds me of summer (on the next answer because i need time to find it.😅)

Also it's not fair, u didnt tell me 3 songs that remind u of summer.. so give me the answer! 😅😆

I like any genres my ears found it good n enjoyable.. except the heavy metal or underground or other type of screaming rock type of genre. It drives me crazy. What about u? Have i asked u what kind of music u like?

Yep it was a pretty fun summer in Vegas. N nope, i didnt go in to the pool besides i think it's gross, i wasnt wearing swimsuit or bikini (dear god, no. 😅). I was wearing short tank top n a thin oversized shirt to kinda cover my body a bit, flipflop n a baseball cap 😅 n i was happy enough to stay at the bar have my drinks n enjoy the view of women 🤭 (in respectful way of course)

I didnt mingle with the pretty women because i was with my friends but i remember a few women smiled at me. But i'm pretty oblivious n i dont know how to flirt or if i flirt. one of my friends, he sometimes noticed n one time he said "how come everytime we r at the club, girls hit on u?"

I was like "what? They did? I dont know" 😅🤣

Well, i made out with a girl in the corner of the club there once.. but not too long because my friends were looking for me n kept calling me. 😅 what happened in Vegas, stayed in Vegas. Lol

3 songs that reminds me of my childhood, like when i was a kid? Or teenagers? Or how young? Haha. I didnt really remember my childhood to be honest. U gotta be more specific on this.😆😅

Next question?

Cheerio! (Not the cereal one)

[beizhuo]

alright folks , i made this post last night about amending my carrd rules . & now , after calming somewhat down from getting sick to my stomach about it , i must now make one final update post about this to make people really & fully understand where i stand . why ? because i am , once again , having / needing to finely comb through the people i want to follow & interact with due to some very , VERY toxic behavior & terrible , childish individuals that think its real cute to stalk , harrass , steal , & gatekeep folks . 

understand that i will NOT be namedropping anybody in this post . this is not my intention . i am not out here to isolate folks or make people ‘ chose sides ’ . making people do that is absolutely horrible ! i do not give a damn who other people interact with . i do , however have extreme issues with theft ( amongst other things ) . i can draw a god damn line at theft ! 

harassment ? don’t care . you’re trolling , i can ignore you . gatekeeping . you’e petty and attention seeking im here for friends anyway . but actual literal theft - i can draw a line there . please get out & OFF MY BLOG if you are so unoriginal that you haveta steal from me or my friends !

please know that you can interact with those thieves & gatekeepers , i don’t care ! but understand that i will most likely softblock you because i genuinely do not want them to find me . no hard feelings . ( they have found my other 2 blogs , and i am tired of them finding me ! especially for baizhu ! i don’t even follow some of my friends here cause of this ! ) i am not even in the genshin community to begin with . my group ? we don’t do communities for toxic behavior and people being so exclusive to the point of driving people out & away . its distasteful and mean ! do you know that i have some friends that were cut off from communities entirely all because they were a dupe ? tHAT is the kind of dupe drama i fucking hate . along with theft . anyway . i will start from the beginning of my rules that i deem important .

DUPLICATES . ( AND MIMICRY / THEFT )

the irony that this is the first point . it is like it was a wonderful transition . anyway . this is actually having to deal with two rule points . and i want to group them together cause they are related .

myself & a few other people have come to find out that .... there is somebody AT THE VERY LEAST taking inspo from us . i will start with dupes .

my friend has a character and was WHOLLY mistaken for another mun . which is fine . that happens , but things took a turn for the worse when they were then shunned / cut off because they werent ‘ good enough ’ . do you know how HORRIBLE that is ? to be told that you aren’t good because you weren’t the mun that they wanted ? this is the type of shit i cannot stand with dupe drama . DO NOT EVER COMPARE DUPES WITH ONE ANOTHER !!! i mean it . 

i follow different childes ! and you know what i adore them both . they are both amazing ! 

sure i may have my mains / exclusives ( and im not inclined to interact with other blogs of that same character ) but i still like portrayals . i do , in fact , just READ threads sometimes . i don’t necessarily follow for interactions . like ffs man . i like variety . jesus christ .

going to mimicry / theft . you know ... i have fucking seen this with a couple of friends . there is a difference between coincidental similarities , however ! for myself & for my friends , we have SEEN inspo taken from us . im gonna say this really loud for people .

MIMICRY IS NOT FUCKING FLATTERY . 

do not take inspo from me . especially without credit . absolutely do NOT do it . you are very unoriginal for doing that shit . 

now , you like something i make / made ? you are inspired to want to make something ? fine , that’s okay , you can ALSO fucking ask me , you can also credit me . as you fucking should ! you can notify me and go , damn , i really like your style , do you mind if i use it in xyz ? sure , go right ahead . do it . im begging you , go ahead and do it IF YOU FUCKING ASK ME . god im so fucking angry about this , but this is some vile shit . and im angry .

i am angry and terrified cause i literally cannot get away from these people cause they seem to be wherever i go . i DO NOT DO COMMUNITIES BECAUSE OF THIS .

as a good friend said : it’s like they are a virus that you cannot get rid of .

thats what happens with attention seekers unfortunately , but for the sake of my safety & health , i will not have it on my blog or dash . if i see these people on my dash often , i will unfollow .

and it isn’t like a specific person , its a GROUP of people . which leads me to my next point .

DRAMA / CALLOUTS.

imagine having beef with an individual , and then going around and gatekeeping that individual and getting people to unfollow / block them . im not talking about , ‘ hey this person is vile because they ship incest ’ . i am talking about ‘ i had a disagreement with this person & they hurt my feelings >:/ they are mean and will hurt you . etc etc etc . ’ 

i do not give a flying fuck about somebodies issues with another person . so you guys don’t get along . not my problem . i have people that hate me . i have friends where i hate their friends . shit happens . i am probably absolute scum to some people lol . i get mistaken for other people sometimes . it’s fine , hate me cause you think im that person . that person is snowflake repellent anyway , go choke on your kool aide that you are drinking ig . 

okay sorry i am angry but still . people claim and cry about wanting to talk & communicate . but then . guess what . sometimes shitty people are like , so this person said this to me , and they are mean . IF YOU ARE THE PERSON THAT GOES ‘ OH MY GOD HOW DARE THEY ’ AND BLOCK THEM THEN YOU ARE THE PROBLEM . i will give an example . of using my two names that i have .

somebody goes to amphy and says ‘omg ghost said this , and im frustrated and angry with them cause what he said was uncalled for . ’ if amphy goes ‘ omg ghost is shitty ’ and then unfollows / blocks them without any other discussion , then thats an issue cause ghost has no idea wtf happen . amphy got involved in YOUR relationship with ghost even though ghost has been nothing but kind and sweet to you . you also don’t know if amphy is just victimising or being emotional either . so why they fuck would you believe somebody who is venting to you about it and then block somebody who did literally NOTHING to you .

i dont know if i explained that correctly but i will give you something more realistic , again without namedropping .

i have a few friends that hate one another . i’ve known all of them for years . but they all , i kid you not , they ALL fucking hate each other . there’s three of them . and they cannot stand each other . i just happen to be somebody who gets along with all of them . you bet your ass that at one point , they all came to talk mad shit about the others . what did i do ? i went , oh okay . well im sorry that you have issues with them . sounds like a bad experience , but i can’t do anything about that cause i am not you and i am not them . if you are gonna change my mind , it isn’t gonna happen , sorry !

i have had people shit talk people i have no idea who they are , and i just sit here just being a source for them to vent , but i never NEVER EVER act on anything i hear . why ? cause its petty drama and gossip . if you do that , then damn , sorry kiddo , get some help on that alright ? maybe be nicer . i dunno .

now . racism ? pedophilia ? incest ? HARMFUL SHIT ? that’s different . but again , theres a lot of miscommunication . i have people coming and pulling the cards like they are hot shit  and that isn’t fucking cute . THAT ISN’T CUTE GUYS . you are the problem if you try to victimize yourself cause of something YOU misinterpreted .

i have a friend that has this on their blog .

i am literally going off on a god damn tangent . anyway . :) 

fuck you if drink kool aide .

THERE ARE OTHER MENTAL DISORDERS! YOU ARE ABLEIST IS YOU ERASE THE OTHER (UN)COMMON ONES.

i know that autism is the ‘common’ one here . you are valid okay . but guess what . ADHD , BPD, DiD, and straight up depression and anxiety are also things as well ! there are MANY folks here that are also undiagnosed as well OR they lay on some sort of spectrum as well . I am once again not going to disclose my own things here cause again THAT IS PRIVATE INFO , but fuck you if you refuse to see other disabilities .

also there are physical disabilities as well btw .

if you are not understanding of any other disability , or you wanna mute / deafen other mental disorders , YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM .

end of story . 

treat other people how you want them to treat you and don’t you dare ever shove your baggage at them . thanks . 

please be more understanding that some people are not okay:tm: . 

i implore you to get help if you need help , but sometimes some people dont have to take your shit . and they most certainly do not need to sit and take your issues if they are not okay either . its toxic and very unhealthy behavior to expect others to help you . they can help you as best as they can , but you need to understand that everybody has their moments . do not guilttrip them . do not gaslight them . 

but also understand that sometimes , people are saying things cause they genuinely need help ! you can be there for them but as a friend , you need to also tell them your own boundaries as well and tell them that they need to seek professional help .

but also , if somebody refuses to get help , then that is on them . not on you . 

anyway another tangent , but back to the point . autism , while you need to understand is something you need to see and understand , is not the only mental disorder ! and you need to understand that some people suffer from really REALLY shitty things and are sometimes undiagnosed . i am really REALLY tired of depression , ADHD , BPD, and DiD getting brushed under the rug like they are not important . cause guess what , there are spectrums ! all mental health is important . fuck you if you disregard the other disorders , you are being ableist .

STOP HATE READING PEOPLE.

im really sick and tired of this . you don’t like something somebody said ? you can either : ask what they meant or block / unfollow them . 

DO NOT FUCKING STALK THEM EITHER . 

you have an obsession if you hover on their blog too .. do not do that . that is SO unhealthy for you . here is what a friend said on twitter . ( not name dropping them , just copy pasting them )

❛ i stg people need to fine a better hobby than to hate read a persons blog or profile. not a good look on you when you go and read what they post about just to get angry at something you think they said and then you go off spewing lies about it cause 'youre offended.'  

like you already hate them in the first place. you weren’t 'looking to see if they were a better person.' youre just looking to find another thing to hate about them. 

that is what hate reading is about. so you can read their posts and find just another reason to hate and laugh at how bad you think they are.

but it doesnt make you a better person. it just makes you a sad person with no life. stop hate reading people. grow tf up. go breathe on some plants or something idk.

i say this very loud and clear . if you hate read me , i live in your head rent free . not my problem . but it does become my problem if you begin to steal shit and start spewing lies about myself or my friends . grow up and move on with your life . sorry my life seems more interesting than you ig . idk .

anway this got long , and at this point i am going off on a tangent but !!!!

TL ; DR

read my rules ig . idk .

you can dm me for more info if you want . at this point i have blocked the problem blogs for myself. if you are curious you can ask . HOWEVER. i am not going to tell you to block or unfollow . why ? cause at the end of the day , it is MY beef . this are my issues . i am NOT here to gatekeep .

i will say that i will tell you IN private the for MY story . but keep in mind that it is MY story . not yours . not theirs . it is all about perception .

my perception is that they are scummy gatekeeping thieves . they gatekeep the people they dont like or are intimidated by . i am somebody who fucking bites and calls people out on their shit , because of this ? i make enemies . but my enemies are not yours . i dont care .  dont give a damn . i am intimidating to people who are cowards and i don’t care . 

if they feel bad when i call them out , if they try to go around and do damage control , then that means they are guilty .

and then you can ask yourself this : why are they reacting like that ?

i am once again going to bring up that other twitter user that i quoted before .

❛  you dont like hearing that because someone is holding a mirror up to you and it makes you uncomfortable because you know you . and you know the parts of you that are good . so in your heart you have to come up with a narrative that makes you feel better about the fact that somebody is asking your to confront the parts about yourself that you hate the most .

anyway . this got long . im so sorry for the long read . im so sorry i sounded hostile ad angry . im just volatile sometimes . im just really tired . and i dont need to come on this blog and have a panic attack . 

anyway . cheers loves ! stay happy , stay healthy . drink your fluids . take your meds !

#long post. #update tbd. #ooc tbd. #// i have no idea what else to tag this tbh . #there is drama mentions though so there is that i guess ? #but this is all important so ... #anyway ... #read / skim this or perish 🔪 #also if you wanna like this to let me know you read / agree with this go ahead . #im not checking for typos i am tired .

[rosyredlipstick]

the bard is in love with the witcher!

@cerydwynn -- Geralt/Jaskier fic rec list I promised. 

Love As You Are

Jaskier didn’t want to marry just any noblewoman--no matter how comely she may be--he wanted adventure and many loves, but most importantly his biggest, greatest love of all.

He is not expecting that love to be in the form of a brooding stranger sitting at the back of a tavern.

In one instant his breath catches in his throat at the beauty of the man before him and in the next, there’s a burning sensation on the bottom of his heel as his mark makes itself known. It’s pain and pleasure knotted together, roses surrounded by thorns.

God, I love me a good soulmate AU! This one, in particular, has some GREAT angst that goes through their meeting and beyond. 

~

Food of Love by tanktrilby

I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

(or: the one where Jaskier channels magic through his songs, and it almost never goes as expected.)

Okay this is literally my FAVORITE witcher fic. Whenever it updated, i screamed into a pillow. God, this one really explores Jaskier’s other relationships while also nursing the hurt/love he still holds for Geralt. Also: BARD MAGICCC My favorite! 

~

His Touch by Sevent

Jaskier is an affectionate man. It drives Geralt mad, but in more ways than he knows how to put into words.

This one is SO SOFT. Wow, I love a good Geralt POV and this one BLOWS MY MIND. so tender, wow.

~

The Witcher Wolf  by im_fairly_witty

It’s been two weeks since Geralt shouted Jaskier away from him on that mountain and Jaskier has been handling it like a champ by forlornly wandering alone in the wilderness with his lute. When he (literally) stumbles across an injured white wolf he decides to take a chance and see if he can help it, appreciating the irony of the situation but not quite realizing why it is that the wolf’s golden eyes look exactly like his Witcher’s...

It took me a hot sec to get around to reading this fic but after i finally did start it i was ENCHANTED. I ADORE this fic. Also while making this list I found out there was a sequel SO  now that’s what I’m doing this afternoon. 

~

A Dandelion By Any Other Name by TabbyCat33098

Jaskier is throwing up flowers and refuses to tell Geralt who has afflicted him so. As Geralt grapples with Jaskier's impending death, he comes to terms with a few things himself.

//

“Who’s the unlucky woman?” Geralt asks, stepping into the firelight.

Jaskier starts, dandelions spilling from his hands. He hastily brushes them away. “Gods, Geralt, must you always sneak up on me? This is why you have an image problem, you know. Don’t get me wrong, the whole tall, dark, and murderous vibe is fantastic -- really brings out the color of your eyes -- but the skulking tips you firmly into the realm of, well, somewhat unhinged.”

Geralt only glares at Jaskier, waiting for him to tire himself out, and sets about roasting the fowl.

“Anyway, killing my beloved won’t cure me,” Jaskier continues blithely, “so don’t even think about it. Not all problems can be solved by whacking away at them with those oversized butter knives you carry around.” He settles cross-legged next to the fire with his lute balanced across his knees and strums a few chords.

omg i just read this one and it’s SO good. i seriously ADORE this ending with everything unsaid and !!!! love it. 

~

a broken pot can still hold water by MarionetteFtHJM

Despite what his outward code of conduct would have you thinking, Jaskier knows when he is not wanted.

He allows himself the exact amount of three days of wallowing in that small town before he packs his meager possessions and hits the road like nothing happened. In those three days he sings and dances for his food and drink, fucks the pretty barmaid and sleeps off the hangover before heading out in the morning of the fourth day. He travels alone for the first time in a while but it’s alright.

Now, if only people would stop telling him that the Witcher asks about him - that'd be swell.

genuinely love this fic. really fleshes out Jaskier as such a complex character, and I love Yennefer here. And Geralt! I don’t want to say too much and spoil it, but I highly recommend this one!

~

Companionship by ArliaDevi

In which Ciri suspects but cannot confirm.

Or,

Geralt and Jaskier get domestic. Well, as domestic as they can.

OMG. after reading this fic i had to go searching for some more amazing domestic ciri + geralt/jaskier fics but this one is my favorite!!! I just adore adore adore ciri and I love to see geralt and jaskier in their parenting to her and wow!! it’s so soft and sweet!

~

Do It Again by thisgirlsays22

By the twentieth time Geralt has gone through the loop, he decides to just throw himself off the cliff’s edge after Borch.

He wakes up to his twenty-first attempt.

“Fuck.”

okay this is kind of cheating bc i just started reading this one while making this list BUT im like, 2 scenes and it’s SO GODD oh my god. im such  a sucker for time loop fics (!!!) and this one is really doing it for me 

hope you enjoy, rina!!!!! CONGRATS ON YOUR NEW JOB IM SO PROUD OF YOU 

#the witcher #geralt of rivera #jaskier #geralt x jaskier #i have no idea what their ship name is oops #fic recs #the witcher fic recs #rosy recs

[mnogorgannik]

2 10 n 11 :)

this is basically an essay im so sorry. watch how hard i can infodump (ill put this under a cut hopefully it works bc sometimes tumblr decimates the keep reading things if theyre in asks)

2. Who’s your favorite of the Bound? What do you think of the different ideologies they have? Which of the factions are you most aligned with?

WE ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER I AM A PETER LOVER THROUGH AND THROUGH!!!!!! oh baby i love that morally questionable architect. pretty early on in getting into pathologic (it’s coming up on a year now...) i thought about peter stamatin too hard and now i’m here. but really i find him to be such a fascinating character!

the thing about pathologic that i love is how almost every character can be as complex as you want. pathologic does an excellent job of implying a lot of character traits while only exploring some in further detail, which in some games is frustrating but patho does it so well! it consistently hints at traits and lets you fill in the details yourself. peter’s character is extremely interesting to me... and maybe a little more relatable at times than i want to admit lol.

i think i’ll talk about both stamatins though! their dynamic hurts me a lot. i’ll start with andrey bc i’ve been thinking about him lately. although i’ll bounce back and forth between both stamatins.

i’ve said this before but i’ll say it again.... andrey’s role as a protector who inadvertently hurts the people he cares about really gets to me. he is not a shield but, in his own words, a battering ram. and the problem is that battering ram has a recoil.

i have to wonder how that mentality of his came about, anyways. the implication is that it’s always just been him and peter, so did he take on that role because there wasn’t anyone else to do it?

in his efforts to protect peter from... military, i believe, he kills four people. which leads to daniil getting mistaken for andrey, which leads to daniil getting shot. and almost dying. he protects peter but to a smothering extent, peter even says he’s been suffering for ten years bc of andrey which is a LOADED line. he protects on a physical level but he kinda fucks up on the emotional.

there’s a horrible irony in peter and eva being the people he cares about the most and both attempting suicide. with eva once she’s missing he immediately goes running off trying to look for her, and . ahh i can’t remember right off hand what exactly he thought happened. but ik he was probably expecting a fight. with peter he says that after that he’ll never let peter leave his side, at least “as far as his knife can fly”... it sounds cheesy but the one thing he can’t save anyone from is themself.

and god the way andrey bases his ENTIRE sense of self worth on peter fucking hurts. they’re not peter and andrey, the architects. they’re Peter And Andrey, The Architect. (thinking about “one architect, two brothers” here.) andrey thinks he’s larger than life and all but he’s constantly living in peter’s shadow. their theatre of death positions come to mind here, with peter standing up, looking down at andrey. but andrey is on his knees in front of peter, arms limp to his sides.... separated by a wooden beam...

peter’s side of this dynamic is fascinating too. his dependency on andrey is. ow. leaving all practical matters and decision making to him... there’s this resentment (That’s Fine I’ve Been Suffering For Ten Years Because Of Him) and lack of communication that especially shows through for him.

while in p2 andrey completely crumbles if peter dies, peter doesn’t seem to care...... at all....?? which hopefully is elaborated upon in p2. he’s willing to talk to aspity about worrying if andrey is angry with him but he can’t bring it up with andrey himself. when he asks how andrey is doing he stops and says andrey is a “tough man” and can handle anything. in general, while it’s definitely there for andrey, themes of dependency are really glaringly obvious for peter.

one of my favorite peter things i’ve talked about before is still his ego!!! peter has a gigantic ego!!! he really does think that even though he’s hit the ceiling and can’t go any further he is still “a true architect” and “the rock upon which is built the stairway to tomorrow”. he has a blunt edge to him and he doesn’t ever tell you more than he thinks he needs to which i love. if he doesn’t want to tell you something he isn’t gonna do it. this is a character trait i think ppl miss which is sad because it’s so good and adds another layer of depth to him!

it really does hurt me how he’s valued for his mind alone (AHEM AHEM AHEM. GEORGIY) but it’s the thing nobody understands about him. i’m nowhere near as smart as peter lol but i do know that pain of feeling like none of your ideas can be understood because you just can’t express them the way you’d like, and then feeling like you’ll never be able to make it happen.

also, here’s a little thing  i’ve picked up on. this connection probably doesn’t exist but i’m making it because the stamatins make me lose my mind and start becoming one of those people who looks for connections in everything i guess. peter standing in the theatre of death, andrey below him. peter’s loft being at a high point in the town, the broken heart being underground. peter’s loft is also higher north on the map but the broken heart is lower south. just smth interesting

i have more thoughts on them of course! but this is all getting awfully long. i feel like i’ve only just gotten to the tip of the iceberg  even though i’ve written so much skfjskfjs this just feels quite surface level or. at least what is surface level for me who thinks about the stamatins so hard.

anyways i’ll keep my answers to the other two parts of this question quick! peter and andrey’s more creative vs practical mindsets are rly neat. especially because i would actually argue peter is a little more grounded in reality in certain aspects. not all, but certain ones...... their take on the utopian ideology is interesting. hot take: peter’s version of utopianism leans a tad towards humility. and andrey /does/ feel “straightforward utopian” but i think in certain regards? this man has a bit of a termite streak..... (hi al if you’re reading this). but i won’t get into that right now i’ve already gone on so long. saving that for later.

i think all of the factions kinda suck in their own way sometimes, honestly? although all of them are well written and have their pros and cons. were i in pathologic and i had to choose one i’d probably be a termite but everyone around me seems to think i’m a utopian. is it bc i love peter so much

10. What would you be like as a Pathologic character?

this question is a hard one! i did make a self insert once, mile-a-minute, but they’ve become their own oc by now. i think i’d be very...... very afraid...... probably isolating myself why does every pathologic character break quarantine???? also you could trade beetles with me :) thats about all i’ve got sorry this is real short

11. What is something you would change, writing-wise, about either game?

UGH i’ve been gushing about pathologic because. obviously i love this game so much. but the way it handles racism & such (in both games!) leaves much to be desired :/

i see a lot of the points it’s trying to make but i think the way they’re handled can be very messy. there are moments that work very well but. a lot that don’t. (i am aware that dybowski writes partially from his own experiences)

all too often the game “validates” the kin’s oppression and... at times paints them as oddly antagonistic? i don’t like how often as artemy you’re able to be like “i’m not one of those beasts” and i think there are better ways to touch on his internalized racism. in general the constant comparisons to animals is weird. you get big vlad who is obviously explicitly racist comparing them to animals, but then sometimes it’s like “ACTUALLY calling them animals is fine :)”

i think the herb brides are kind of. Hm. in their portrayal. also using parts of the buryat alphabet to denote an accent is weird. making odongh and herb brides inhuman is weird. connecting the kin to Magic is weird.

and, listen, i’d really like to not be playing Artemy Burakh Experiences a Microaggression Simulator every time i’m playing the haruspex route. hate that you either can’t call ppl out on their shit or if you can it ends the conversation/bars you from getting necessary information. glad you at least get to drag the vlads, i guess?

i also was talking about this but wrt peter specifically, and this issue is present throughout the game but it’s especially visible with peter, i don’t like how often you can mock him for his addiction.

he’s obviously in an extremely rough patch! being able to be just so plain cruel to him about the dependency on alcohol (and iirc in p1 hallucinogens, bc aglaya mentions it) he’s formed to cope with his mental illness & trauma just feels bad. especially because yes it is not a healthy coping mechanism at all but... it still is a coping mechanism, if that makes sense?

the way you’re able to constantly rub it in his face feels awful. peter is fully aware that it isn’t good for him and shows a desire to quit. even if he didn’t it would still be awful to say because. it’s just insensitive. like you don’t just go up to someone and keep being like HEY YOU DRINK A LOT YOU SHOULD STOP DOING THAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT WATER IS? feels really bad to keep harping on something that causes him pain and that he struggles with every single day.

however peter does have moments where he tells you Not to say that, or if you pry into why he drinks he’ll outright say he doesn’t remember you being his friend, which is better than nothing.

in p1 moreso than p2 i hate how you can be like oh he’s craaaazy he’s off his rocker he’s delusional!!!! that “why, i never... an architect of schizophrenia!” comment sticks in my mind because it’s just... so genuinely mean. especially because if i remember correctly that line is from when he’s planning on LITERALLY FUCKING BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE

i think if they were going to have all of this they should have gone more in depth on how it’s really. not good that he’s treated so poorly. and i do believe that’s what they were going for, a la the art book w/ the whole “not to be made into a drunken clown, this is a tragic character”, etc. but it just doesn’t land. i’m holding out for the bachelor and changeling routes in p2 to see if they expand upon any of it but i highly doubt i’ll be satisfied in this regard.

i stand by the One time it was really fucking funny to clown on peter being the time you can tell him little girls eat raspberries and earthworms and he just believes you

#asks #patho #GODDDDDD #i hope you wanted to read an essay today

[delimeful]

First time they saw Patton cuddling with Virgil? (Like y’know the energy thing maybe?) Or Virgil protecting the three of them from some other alien?

Okay, now that Making Adjustments is out in full, I’m posting all the asks that inspired me for certain parts or even just to continue writing! Thank you to everyone who sent in ideas/what they wanted to see/theories, I really appreciate it! All asks under the cut!

@ironwoman359 said: I’d be really interested to read about what the first week or two aboard the ship with all four of them was like. I’m sure it was a big adjustment for all of them, and it’d be really cool to see!

@skeletonsloverockcandy said: WINBAR prompt - Virgil’s first night on the ship, is not with Patton, and gets a nightmare. Logan finds him and Virgil has to explain his nightmare/dreams

@the-princey-pie said: Logan mentioned that Virgil would probbaly have trouble fitting through the space ship doors. Now I really want to see Vorgil stepping into their spaceship the first time/navigating it for the first few weeks.

@indigomasquerade97 said: WIBAR prompt. Virgil is Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. You know the scene I’m talking about! ;) Roman is still freaked out with the idea of having a human on board, and one night (maybe on patrol, since he is still jittery from loosing Patton and doesn’t want to loose him - or Logan - again) and he gets freaked out by the nocturnal human suddenly being in the room? IDK

Anonymous said: So. I was wondering for the WIBAR prompts, what was Virgil’s first night on the ship like? How did Roman and Logan act towards him? And is he worried that his relationship with Patton is going to change now that he’s back with his family? Sorry if this is a lot…

Anonymous said: WIBAR prompt idea: Food! Since food is often culturally connected for humans, would it be the same for our alien friends? And if they have any, from Virgil’s pov., strange food items etc. Would be interesting to see considering they are all from such different species. :D

@justanotherpurplebutterfly said: WIBAR: did Patton tell his crewmates how to interpret Virgil’s body language? Did they figure it out for themselves? Did they struggle to remember when they saw him smile or stretch (and make himself big) or something?

Anonymous said: I would love to see some V POV or adjustment period/cultural differences! (particularly L/R’s reactions to V smiling, differences in diet/hunting styles, what V considers a threat vs. what LMP consider threats… anything that highlights the deathworlder in Virg! (Space Australia is like my fav thing that came out of tumblr)) also maybe some more of L/R’s thoughts on Patton befriending a space boogieman?? I really really love this au! :)

Anonymous said: OoOOooh okay how about,, Virgil’s POV as they head back to Roman and Logan’s ship and get on, (and maybe if he doesn’t know the species Logan and Roman are he could ask? That seems the easiest way for us to learn more about the boys without it being too awkwardly shoved in) and V’s probably awkward because he doesn’t know Lo and Ro and Ro’s openly hostile and he wasn’t expecting to go along with them and idk you decide. Also :DD wibar’s not done yet!! Tysm; I’m really enjoying it!

@bishopriecke said: Okay, so I’ve got a couple prompts so I’ll send them separately in case that’s how you’d wanted them? The story is absolutely adorable and it made me think of the sleeping habits back on the ship. There’s space for Virgil, but will Pat gravitate to sleeping with him, since it was such a comfort and Virgil only gets sleepy if he snags energy during cuddles? If he’s tired/virgil’s stressing over something will he wander over to where Virgil is chilling and settle in his lap? How’s Ro&Lo react?

@bumblebeekitten said: Do any of the others attempt to learn Virgil’s language? Or maybe Virgil quietly tries to dispel some of the more hurtful rumors about ‘deathworlder humans’?

Anonymous said: What would wibar Roman and Logan do if they couldn’t find Patton? Would they assume Virgil had done something?

Anonymous said: While waiting for more WIBAR, I keep re-reading everything (Act 1, Intermission, all the world building asks). Right now, I just want to plead with Patton to go find Virgil as he needs comfort, to calmly tell Logan that I don’t blame him, and to hiss at Roman that, while he has had bad experiences and that is valid, he needs to be nicer. Granted, a reaction like that from a human fan-nut probably wouldn’t help Virgil’s case… but he needs a hug so much right now!

Anonymous said: i’m thinking there’s lots of potential for hurt/comfort with this chapter. Virgil’s obviously panicking so i reckon he’s gonna have to try and convince himself that he can trust Patton if not the others. i feel like virgil still wont trust the others but they’ll get to see that he’s not always this big, strong deathworlder and he gets scared just like them. he’s been traumatised and he cares for Patt a lot and theyll try to understand eachother better and hopefully become friends/gain some trust

Anonymous said: that is very much wishful think and a need for my boys to be happy though haha. soz, that probably wasnt very helpful for writing but thats just something i’d like to see happen but i KNOW that whatever you end up writing is gonna be fabulous (ran out of room on my last ask and couldnt even sign it, whoops)

@justanotherpurplebutterfly said: I’m mainly really curious how Roman will react. If he has even have as big of an imagination as buobba Roman then he will probably interpret Virgil’s outburst as a violent attack and try to frame him as a danger they shouldn’t keep on the ship. However if he was able to detect Virgil’s fear then this might be the first step of them growing closer. Idk which I like better, because on one hand I want them to to get along and witness wacky human things in an amicable atmosphere, but on the other hand, misunderstandings are soooo good!!!! Most of all I want Virgil to get a hug though. Poor boy deserves one. I don’t care with who it is, although I suspect it will be Patton because no way the other ones trust Virgil enough and vice versa.

@yalltookmyurlideas said: Haha wibar fears? There are,,, so many. My main fear is that Roman will misinterpret Virgil’s panic to mean he’s hiding something and not see it for the panic and fear it is.

Anonymous said: I was thinking about for WIBAR, are we going to find out more about Virgils life on Earth? Is there angst there or is it irrelevant? Also would Logan and Roman go after Virgil themselves so as not to worry Pat or would they realise this was a situation they couldn’t solve? OR does Roman think V is attacking them and goes to hurt him? Sorry long ask but I’m excited for the chapter 😅😅🥰🥰

Anonymous said: Ayyy super late gang, barely got a hour of sleep bc anxiety/nightmares so yeehaw. I guess for WIBAR, the most essential thing to consider is how you want Making Adjustments to sorta add onto its characters & how they interact. Idk that ofc, but I think the situation is going to resolve into a ‘im only human’ (the irony) kinda situation and the crew (maybe minus patton??) only /starting/ to grasp the human is a bunch of damaged goods who is lowkey more scared of them than they are of he (½)

Anonymous said: (2/2) how i see the situation going down? Depends who finds him. If it’s Pat, he could sing him clam like in the cell. If its Roman or Logan, odds are Virgil’s gonna b scared & his response will be to Fight or Freeze, as he already did the Flight option. Virgil reacting like a cornered animal would be terrifying Ro and Lo. (Also Ro and Lo going to wake up Pat for Human Help has the same vibes of a child waking up their parents to tell them they puked lmao)

@killerfangirl3 said: After where you left last chapter, I am 100% terrified Roman will find Virgil before Patton and cause real danger to everyone. After all Virgil is flooded with adrenaline right now and he barely knows how his strength affects the metal? of the ship as it is. The sudden increase in strength if he was attempting to defend himself could cause him to put a hole in the ship.

@hotchocolatehugs said: Oh! Also, would Virgil calm down if Patton found him, or would it just make him worse/more crazed? I dunno about his state of mind, but if I were in his position I would probably be acting aggressively to anyone who came in. Do aliens have hot chocolate or tea, or some equivalent drink? Because I think Virge needs a calming drink. (sorry if this is too much!)

Anonymous said: I saw your latest post and all I could think about is Virgil stuck on the appliance, really high up and close to the ceiling unseen while he sees Roman and Logan below. Maybe a bit of a language barrier while they say some words that Virgil may not no yet and jumping to conclusions and filling in the blanks in the sentences

Anonymous said: I’m afraid that In WIBAR, Roman may keep Pat from going to find and comfort Virgil and just…leave him up there

@katelynn-a-fan said: Mission impossible theme while looking for Virgil. Too short can’t see Virgil on top appliance. Mission impossible theme continues and fades into the distance. (That’s all I got)

Anonymous said: WIBAR suggestions/predictions/fears: I worry about Roman or Logan finding Virgil before Patton - Roman because I don’t think he will be understanding about how afraid Virgil is; Logan because I think that would scare Virgil more. He might break out of his flight stage into fight, and that could make them fear him more. But, while worry about this scenario, maybe it would be for the best. Maybe one or both need to find him at a low to see that he isn’t a monster, just scared.

@enby-phoenix said:

OK so wibar thoughts! I’m a little concerned that Roman will think that Virgil was genuinely trying to attack him with that chair and also probably trying to hurt Logan, and he’s gonna get upsetti. I also think that the way they figure out what’s made Virgil go all fight or flight will probably involve Logan doing the memory share thing, but it’ll take them a bit to get close enough without Virgil threatening to bite Logan’s hands off.

Also PLEASE let my boy eat a full meal and get some proper sleep!

I would also love to see Virgil curled around Patton protectively but everyone knows that it’s Patton who’s making Virgil feel safe.

Another prediction is that Logan, realizing that SOMETHING bad just happened, and knowing that all his information on humans seems to be incorrect or at least not apply to this one, will go to Patton for advice on what to do regarding Virgil’s sudden change of behavior, and how to calm him down again. Cause Patton is the resident expert on Virgil.

I also imagine that Logan might keep his note taking to himself again for a bit, until Virgil believes that he’s not the bad kind of scientist.

I love that Virgil climbed on top of the tallest thing he could find, and I imagine that if it’s above everyone else’s usual eyelines, they each walk past him multiple times while they’re worriedly searching the ship for him.

I’m mostly imagining Virgil clinging to Patton like a lifeline and the other two aliens worrying for their tiny friend but Patton knows that Virgil is just scared and sings him the “calm down baby it’s okay I’m here” hatchling soothing song until Virgil calms down a little, and then still staying with him while explanations are had. They do not come out of the small space on top of the tallest appliance and Roman doesn’t like that but he’ll deal.

Now that I’m thinking about it more, one of the best ways for Logan to gain (at least a little bit of) Virgil’s trust would be for Virgil to see his honest reaction to what the other scientists did to him. Cause based on what I know of Logan, he would be horrified. And that might help Virgil to realize that Logan ISN’T LIKE those other scientists.

Anonymous said: *gets out the defibrillator to help kickstart the creative juices* At this point Virgil is running on fumes and when the trio find him Patton tries to comfort him. But he’s too stressed and feels betrayed and there’s just too much inner turmoil for him to hold back so he finally breaks down in front of them. Perhaps it’s not Patton that manages to calm him down, but Roman who finally recognizes him as a traumatized person rather than “just an evil human” :D

@enby-phoenix said: tbh Virgil probably hisses at either Logan or Roman at some point and it makes them nervous and confused.

Anonymous said: Roman forcing Virgil down from his hiding spot. 'Blade’ to his neck and tying him to a chair. Virgil thinking that he shouldn’t have run and that they are going to be even angrier at him now, ergo more painful experiments. Begging to be put under for the cutting away and to please don’t get mad at Patton (just in case Patton was trying to be a good friend).

Anonymous said: Suggestion for WIBAR - Roman goes looking for Virgil, all ready for a confrontation. But, when he finds him, Virgil unknowingly makes some sort of gesture that means fear/terror to Roman’s people and he stops and evaluates the situation with clearer eyes. This gives Patton/Logan/both a chance to get there.

Anonymous said: Can we get somr wibar fluff/angst?

Anonymous said: I’m just waiting for WIBAR Virgil to just pass out and the panic of everyone that sees him. Or Roman threatening him or Logan goes to touch him and BAM he’s on the floor!

Anonymous said: Stuff for WIBAR: 1: who’s gonna find Virgil? 2: what’re they gonna do with him? 3: how’s he gonna react? – Options: Patton: tries to comfort him Virgil: can’t decide whether to trust or not, maybe leading to emotional outburst and sad PatPat – Logan: scared cuz danger goblin had an outburst at him. Wondering what he did wrong & how to best proceed Virgil: 'he’s gonna do tests on me’ fight or flight – Roman: 'so, if you hurt my friends imma hurt you’ Virgil: fight or flight – ½

Anonymous said: 2/2 Of course those aren’t the only options, but it was fun for me, and I hope it got creative juices flowing for you as well. I love all your writing, and I want you to know that you can take as long as you need to be proud of your work. It’s okay. And take care of yourself too! You can’t make as good of work when you aren’t feeling as good as usual

#asks #wibar #assistance asks #long post #read more please work :(

[imdoingthismspaintadventure]

In which we close a narrative loop and dave is a tsun

Dave: Get the damn beta and save your friend's life!

Let’s get a move on!!

Finally the betas are easily accesible when we want them to be, instead of spending 40 pages finding them by doing things like throwing cakes out the window

This notion strikes you as nonsensical. You can't imagine how a video game could save someone's life, and in any case, you're quite sure no one you know is in any danger.

.... fucking what

Is this before the other things? Have we gone slightly back in time in terms of the general story? Is this while John was fucking around in his room?

....Does this mean that we will lose these betas somehow in the inmediate future because nothing can ever be easy? Oh no

Anyway, these are your copies of the beta you received in the mail recently. You've labeled them with your name in BOLD RED PRINT to distinguish them from your BRO's copies, who labeled his in kind. Neither of you really gives a shit about this game or has any intention of playing it, but you'll be damned if you'll let that get in the way of your campaign of one-upmanship.

What is it with these kids and weird family relationships?

I predict we will lose our copies and we will have to get Bro’s copies, based on that each kid so far has had their parent/authority figure as an antagonistic force.

Dave: Bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable.

Oh god this is indeed a pattern we are going to be following!

We had the “wrong name” bit, the “find your arms” bit, the “idiotic command” bit....Are we going to do them again for GG when they are introduced? I wonder what this command will be then.

You would never consider allowing any fluid even remotely resembling urine to touch your beloved TURNTABLES. That would risk breaking them, and a world without the gift of your godly science just doesn't sound like a place you want any part of. While you're at it, you might as well wipe out human civilization with a meteor or something ridiculous like that which will probably never happen.

I like that the “on your turntable” part is the outrageous part of “bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable” for Dave. Kid values his raps more than his life. Although it’s probably true that the world would be lesser without those wonderful, wonderful things.

And yeah, nothing to worry about with meteors and such, Dave. I’m sure nothing bad will happen, ever. Just like how those game copies you have are going to be safe and accesible forever.

That sort of thing only happens in stupid idiot movies for stupid idiots.

Oh come on, I’m sure you can find a bit of value in them, even if it’s in a “so bad it’s good” kind of way.

==>

...wait, are you really considering it?

You will however contemplate bleating like a goat for IRONICALLY HUMOROUS purposes at a later date.

...I will keep that in mind in case it comes up later.

If PS has taught me anything is that these comics are Chekhov’s armories

Dave: Examine closet.

So inside the closet there is yet another package (probably a gift from John, judging by the pattern we seem to be having. Seriously, do all these kids send each other presents in the same manner? ) and some sort of drink?

This is your closet. This is where you keep a lot of your crap.

Most accurate description of a closet ever

Like that BOX. And that bottle of... what is that? Is that...?

.....

Is that seriously a jar of piss? I would say “wtf” loudly, but your room is such a weird combination of things (including those weird fetus/ dissecated animals/ weeeeird shit) that I wouldn’t even be suprised

Dave: Check the blue box.

.....WHAT?

W-Why is there the BLACK OILY SUBSTANCE THAT STAINED THE KITCHEN WHERE JOHN IS STRANDED IN THE VOID HERE, ON THE PACKAGE??

Does the oil have multiversal properties? If it stains one’s house it also retroactively stains his possesions?? Or is this package from after those events?? Has it gone back in time??

WHAT??

But first let’s stop for a moment to appreciate the fact that Dave has a signed Stiller poster

This is the package that your friend John Egbert sent you for your 13th birthday a little while ago. It now contains nothing except a NOTE and a CERTIFICATE OF AUTHENTICITY vouching for the genuine Hollywood memorabilia which the box originally contained, and which you are now wearing to be IRONIC but also to be INCREDIBLY COOL IN A WAY SOMEHOW INTANGIBLY RELATED TO THE IRONIC NATURE OF THE ACCESSORY. You find it sort of exasperating to explain these subtleties to people.

John gave him the shades!! And they are apparently the real shades Ben Stiller wore in the movie!! That means that they are not *the* universal shades of PS, unless the shades in the Stiller bust were these ones and they somehow ended up there. But isn’t PS a videogame in this universe? But these shades had the universal glow?

Let’s not think too hard about that. It’s probably just an easter egg.

Also Dave please write a thesis on irony, the world needs it please.

The BOX also included a signed photo of BEN STILLER which now proudly hangs above your closet. Proudly and IRONICALLY.

I really like this totally (un)cool hipster kid.

Dave: Take box.

ohwahtthefuck

WHY ARE THE SYLLADEXES GETTING WORSE???

So it classifies things based on the balance of consonants and vocals in the name of the object and assigning an index value like in a hash map.

Oh boy this is a completely useless one in terms of getting shit done quickly, unless you have a godly grasp on words and their composition.

You captchalogue the BOX through your HASH MAP FETCH MODUS. Your modus's current HASH FUNCTION resolves the index by valuing each consonant at 2, and each vowel at 1. The total is divided by your number of cards, and the remainder is the index. BOX = 2 + 1 + 2 = 5 5 % 10 = 5 The BOX is captchalogued in card 5.

Just...LOOK at this

Look at this madness.

Dave: Examine jar of unknown yellow substance in the closet.

I don’t know why, but the combination of the quick turnaround, the fanfare and the fucking apple’s face makes this way more funny than it should be.

So it WAS apple juice after all.

Oh hell yes. It is an unopened container of APPLE JUICE. You thought you were all out. It is like fucking christmas up in here. This is so great. You've got to tell John about this immediately. He'll be so excited.

Oh wait, is this before the first conversation, when Dave and John talked about Little Monsters and Apple Juices? Is this why that conversation was as out of left field as it was?

I see how it all fits together now

Dave: Take juice.

You captchalogue the JUICE into card 7. 2+1+1+2+1 %10 = 7.

Dear god is this system nightmarish

Dave: Access Pesterchum and pester John.

Oh I can see the loop closing!

In addition to letting your buddy know about this outstanding juice windfall, you figure you'll wish him a happy birthday while you're at it. In your own cool, sort of roundabout way of course. Good thing you looked at that box he sent you, or you might have forgotten. You also might as well ask him about that beta. The kid's been harping about it for weeks. It would be cool if it came on his birthday. He'd be one happy camper.

Dave is such a tsundere in his friendships holy shit. You care about your friends a lot you dork

That background is rad

Wtf is “Complete Bullshit” as an app. (Probably some complete bullshit)

Ill beats because the laws of this universe demand it

Hephaestus, isn’t that the god of the blacksmiths and craftsmen? Cool icon. Reminds me of those flash games where the icons all fought each other.

Of course his emote in Pesterchum is  S m o o t h

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 18:13 -- TG: hey so what sort of insane loot did you rake in today EB: i got a little monsters poster, it's so awesome. i'm going to watch it again today, the applejuice scene was so funny. TG: oh hell that is such a coincidence i just found an unopened container of apple juice in my closet it is like fucking christmas up in here EB: ok thats fine, but i just have one question and then a word of caution. have you ever seen a movie called little monsters starring howie mandel and fred savage? TG: but TG: the seal on the bottle is unbroken TG: are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory EB: all im saying is don't you think monster howie mandel has the power to do something as simple as reseal a bottle? EB: try using your brain numbnuts. TG: why did the fat kid or whoever drank it know what piss tasted like TG: i mean his reaction was nigh instantaneous EB: it was the 15th day in a row howie mandel peed in his juice. TG: ok i can accept that TG: monster B-list celebrity douchebags are cunning and persistent pranksters TG: also fred savage has a really punchable face TG: but who cares about this lets stop talking about it TG: did you get the beta yet EB: no. EB: did you? TG: man i got two copies already TG: but i dont care im not going to play it or anything the game sounds boring TG: did you see how it got slammed in game bro???? EB: game bro is a joke and we both know it. TG: yeah TG: why dont you go check your mail maybe its there now EB: alright.

And they DID indeed have the exact same conversation!!!

We are indeed back in time!!

We are sooooo gonna lose those Betas!!!! : D

#Homestuck #Homestuck liveblog #mspaintadventures #mspaintadventures liveblog #act 2 #Dave Strider #john egbert