#the gays need time to do this research first ok

[allbeendonebefore]

i really really want to be home and sleep in my own bed and do my little edmonton things and stuff but also tabling for work is starting up again and im like myyyrrrhhgh the idea of going to the science centre for the adult night within a week of my return just makes me So Tired in my SOUL

#its on like The Science of Sex tm so like #im already tired based on it being late and people drinking and probably having to yell over music #and undoubtedly they always seem to schedule these things like #for the exact time of the month that my body is going to knock me out #also i know theres the oh Hahaha Pride is Every Month :) #but also pride is literally every month now it seems and im so tired #like march?? macewan has their pride week in march??? #i get it because its during the semester but also the gays are sleeping ok #the gays need time to do this research first ok #also 2 ace 4 this im so eepy #personal hapo #hapo's workventures #i joke that oh haha im not a real adult but sometimes i really Do Not Vibe #Adult ALWAYS means drunk sexy people at these events and loud music and my bedtime is before 10 ok #i should respond to this email #ohhh hahaha its a little short notice for me i have to by groceries and eat them hahaaa

[starrynightzie]

I mostly wanted this acc to be specifically for art, not rly for anything else but i need to get this off my chest. Obviously if you’ve been on twitter, you’ve probably seen a lot (and i mean a LOT) of hate towards gay ships/shippers recently, (first w togachako, then w stsg) i wanna address all the weird shit thats been happening w jjk dudebros lately. Idk what it is but they’re rly upsetti spaghetti abt even the mere thought of stsg being more than platonic besties, going so far as to shoot down any hint of them being romantically inclined in the slightest - so i thought that i’d take it upon myself to provide poof that stsg has queer, romantic subtext since ppl are being extremely obtuse abt them, all for the sake of protecting their friendship from us evil gays. (other shippers do this too but im mostly focusing on dudebros bc they’re the ones primarily acting like assholes to us for no reason, like yeah, sure, some stsgs are extremely cringey & weird but that can be said for ANY shipper in ANY fandom. When you’re in a fandom as big as this, of course there’s gonna be some bad eggs, it’s inevitable.

ok so. !!DISCLAIMER!! i do not speak japanese, so if i say something incorrect then please correct me. i’ve done enough research to be sure that what im saying is right, but im only human, and sometimes, i might be wrong. so, take what im abt to say with a grain of salt. (just in case).

first off, it should be stated that gege akutami, the creator himself, is an avid bl fan (and ik what ur thinking, ‘oh, that doesn’t mean anything! just bc u read bl, it doesn’t mean you’re likely to write gay relationships into ur own manga!’ which is true, gege HAS said that he doesn’t want to write romance in jjk. HOWEVER, as much as i love stsg & see them in a romantic light, i do definitely think that the reason why their relationship feels so ambiguous is bc gege intentionally made it that way. i think he made their relationship up to the individual’s interpretation. And for ppl who’re thinking ‘why would he do that?’ well, he doesn’t like writing romance, right? so this is the next best thing he could do. and also i have to point out (in case ppl get defensive), gege literally does not and will never care if ppl ship stsg or not, again, he’s a bl fan and if anything - all of the evidence that im going to talk abt proves that he most likely ships stsg himself, so… 🤷‍♂️

2. i’d like to talk about s2’s op & ed which are HEAVILY romantically coded. If you don’t know, the op was written to be from gojo’s pov & vice versa with geto for the ed, the op in particular is a very special case. The song is explicitly abt reminiscing the past , wishing gojo had noticed geto’s sorrow sooner and it also mentions a ‘silent love’. the word ‘love’ being used here is ‘koi’ which EXCLUSIVELY means romantic love… now, since this song was specifically written with gojos pov in mind, doesnt it seem kind of weird to have the word for ‘romantic love’ in there?? (koi can be referred to as ‘young love’ or having a ‘crush’ on someone…. hm… ThAts WeIrD.) instead of using ‘ai’??? which would make more sense if stsg were just besties bc ai is more general and can be used towards friends & family.

and then ofc there’s the whole theme of ‘blue spring’. director park (who directed s1 & jjk 0) has stated in an interview that geto was gojo’s last warm spring of youth. now if you dont know, spring of youth/blue spring means a time in a young person’s life where they have hope and happiness… in animanga, it often means falling in love too… so judging by this, it seems very likely that gojo perhaps developed feelings for geto during their teen years together. Director park has also mentioned in an interview that gojo & geto’s relationship goes beyond ‘friendship’ & being ‘familial’. 👀

3. another clear indicator of gojo being in love w geto is the whole ‘love is the most twisted curse of all’ spiel he said to yuta. ‘but he could mean platonic love!!’ idk, considering yuta had romantic feelings for rika and hes discussing them with gojo & gojo knows this, dont u think it’d be a bit weird for him to mention geto here too? if they were just best friends?? (that’s not even mentioning the fact that gojo & geto’s relationship is supposed to parallel yuta & rika’s in jjk 0…)

4. and then ofc we have gojo saying his last words to geto, which were censored. now, correct me if im wrong but the ONLY times ive ever seen inaudible dialogue being mouthed to another character is when its a love confession mostly seen in romance anime. and like, there’s also no need at all for gojo’s last words to be censored in the first place. (although, i do suspect that his last words may play a major role in the future when he faces kenjaku.) what solidifies it for me being a love confession is that, 1. geto blushed after gojo said whatever it is that he said to him, (only in the manga tho, idk why they didnt make him blush in the movie but its whatever.) and geto replies with, depending on the translation, ‘at least curse me a little at the very end’ or ‘you should at least curse me at the end’. which heavily implies that gojo said something extremely sweet & heartfelt to him as his final words. and if thats not enough to convince u that gojo’s last words were indeed a love confession.. gojo’s eng VA HIMSELF, said that his last words when translated into english means three words… im not saying that gojo’s last words were specifically ‘i love you’ or anything like that, but i am definitely sure that whatever he said was a love confession/something very romantic in nature. bc why else would gege choose to draw geto blushing?? that wouldnt make any sense.

gojo also killed geto on the 24th of december, which in japan, is the most romantic day of the year & couples in japan treat christmas eve as kinda like a separate valentines day. even in the jjk manga recently, gojo offered to fight on dec 24th & kenjaku mocks him by saying how romantic it is… even gege himself acknowledges how romantic christmas eve is in japan, this enforces the idea that gege must’ve chosen dec 24th for a reason, bc why else would he have picked an extremely romantic date as not only the day where he fights kenjaku who is inhabiting geto’s body, but also making it the day geto died?? yall have to remember that all of this has been planned out by gege, none of it is a coincidence… he didn’t just come up with all of this on the spot, he’s been planning this stuff & thinking about it for literal years.

5. and finally, probably the BIGGEST piece of evidence there is, geto & gojo’s character songs. gege chose romantic break up songs for BOTH of them.. like im sorry but if stsg were rly truly only best friends, he would not have chosen those songs for them, it just doesnt make any sense.

conclusion: obviously, this probably isn’t every subtextually romantic thing about stsg’s relationship but these are all the things that i’ve noticed. again, if you see their relationship as purely platonic then that’s fine but don’t be assholes to people for seeing romantic subtext that’s quite clearly there. if i have missed anything out then please let me know and i’ll edit them into the post.

#jujutsu kaisen #sorcery fight #jujutsu gojo #gojo satoru #satoru gojo #geto suguru #suguru geto #stsg #satosugu #sugusato #jjk analysis

[bizarrelittlemew]

15 QUESTIONS FOR 15 FRIENDS

whew ok so i was tagged by @blakbonnet @gentlebeard @spirker @kiwistede @ofmd-ann @edsbacktattoo @gentlebeardsbarngrill @sleepystede @lisahafey and @darkinerry, thank you all <333

ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? nope, my name is pretty normal where i live ✌️

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? ngl i teared up a little at the cameo where Rhys talked about grief. but full-on crying i think was when i had my weird weekend-long breakdown a few weeks back

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? no (we'll see what the future brings)

WHAT SPORTS DO YOU PLAY/HAVE YOU PLAYED? nothing competitively but i did horsebackriding and some handball

DO YOU USE SARCASM? never heard of it

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? voice!! and hair

WHAT'S YOUR EYE COLOUR? hazel

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy endings

ANY TALENTS? uhh teaching myself stuff in general i think, to the degree that i need it. also writing and making gifs <3

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Denmark

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? writing, crocheting, making gifs, fandom stuff in general, gardening, weightlifting, gaming. i'm also very into interior design

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? yep! two cats <3 they're sisters (foster fails)

HOW TALL ARE YOU? 178 cm / 5'10"

FAVOURITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL? biotechnology in high school, if we go further back i liked the natural science subjects in general. and shop class/carpentry lol

DREAM JOB? i mean ideally if i could get paid to write and post about gay pirates on tumblr dot com but realistically a well-paid job in pharmaceutical research where i can work from home and never have to write another funding application ✌️

i'll tag (with no pressure) @xoxoemynn @as-a-creww @forpiratereasons @saltpepperbeard @emi--rose @stedebonnets @stedebonnit @chaotic-neutral-knitter @oatmilktruther @petrichorca @adhduck @sherlockig @eye-scream-girls @dearpirates @zstraps sorry if you've already been tagged and if you made a post already please feel welcome to link me to it!

#looks like i'm the tall mutual 😎 #though i'm not even that tall #i'm always happy to be tagged sorry for being slow and sometimes just forgetting!! <3 #tag games #tag game

[ghoste-catte]

Thoughts on Gaara crushing hard/ being incredibly down bad for Lee?

Ah, ok, I see you've activated my trap card.

I could write pages and pages about this concept (and have done), but just a couple of thoughts:

Gaara spying through Lee's window using the 3rd eye jutsu. At first thinking he's just looking for his friend, then telling himself that even if he knows where Lee is he still needs to make sure he's all right, then finally just sort of watching him go about his business. (He has no compunction about disclosing he's done this and doesn't see it as strange at all ... until stage 3 when he realizes feelings are getting in the way).

Avidly researching international law regarding Kage marrying citizens of other villages so he can come to the Council and lay the smack on them with precedent from other Hidden Villages like "This is the way of the future and peace" ... before he so much as asks Lee on a date.

Memorizing every little fact about himself that Lee drops in conversation and hoarding it like a myna bird. To the point that they go to the same restaurant in Suna like 2 years apart and Lee's like "Hmm ... what was it I had here that I liked before?" and Gaara recites his order with exacting precision right down to the beverage and requested spice level (maximum).

Gaara collecting little trinkets memorializing the time they've spent together and lining them up in the window of his bedroom. Carrying them back to Suna in a hidden pocket on the inside of his gourd harness that lies right over his heart. Feeling bizarrely melancholy when, e.g., a blade of grass that he plucked from the field he and Lee were stargazing in starts to wither and brown. Then ordering some of the same genus from Konoha (Ino is like "You want GRASS? Really? Just normal-ass field grass??" "Yes. I'll pay double in shipping." "Ohhh-kay! No further questions, I guess.")

Unconsciously mimicking the things Temari does with Shikamaru or Kankuro does with his crush-of-the-week but not fully understanding why they're gestures of affection. After their 3rd time cloudwatching Lee has to confess that he really hates lying still unless he's had a good workout first and Gaara feels both disappointed and embarrassed (a new emotion for him). And then blushes when a type of workout he hadn't considered springs to mind.

I've written a lot about them being penpals so I won't belabor the point but Gaara slowly letting slip more and deeper emotions into his letters until he's starting to worry he's said too much, but it's too late, the hawk's already flying away.

Staring at Lee doing literally anything, just, so intently. Everyone notices. Except Lee, of course.

Arranging mission schedules so that he's always in the village when Lee comes by. Requesting him for deployment to Suna under the slightest pretense. And of course requesting Team Gai for guard duty whenever he visits Konoha.

Learning taijutsu and actually practicing it so he has a chance to show it off to Lee when they get the chance to spar ... (you construct intricate rituals to touch the skin of other men etc, etc)

That's ... probably more than you asked for, lol.

#answered #naruto #gaalee #pepsiiwho

[strawberrybabydog]

realizing im a lesbian has genuinely been one of the most life-ruining things ive experienced so far :0(

i dont think i know any other lesbians

i am a baby dyke. who likes a baby dyke? apparently nobody. i dont seem to fit into ANY lesbian spaces because i'm green but how do i become not green without experience? apparently i need 10 years experience for an entry-level job :0(??

how... do i even find other lesbians irl? "gay bar" ok first off why would i ever go to a bar. also im pretty sure those dont exist where i live

do i love lesbians because i hate and am traumatized by men or do i love lesbians because im normal. only one answer actually makes me a lesbian

if im not lesbian what am i? :0( i dont want to Just be asexual, that doesnt Mean anything

lesbians are fucking scary. i used to follow 10 sapphic-centric blogs but.... theyre always talking about how horrible/annoying other lesbians are over discourse ive never heard of, meaning, im probably participating in it without knowing

oh yeah. that too. i know nothing about lesbians. and being a lesbian. apparently when you're a lesbian you have to know every single piece of sapphic literature and every lesbian of history or you're bad and stupid and dont deserve to be talked to

it really feels like being hetero is free and easy, like you dont have to think about it you just Love Someone, but being queer is hard and energy-consuming and you have no choice but to dedicate the rest of your life to learning and knowing every single piece of sapphic-centered discourse. it seems like being a lesbian has more to do with knowing facts about historic lesbianism than it has to do with loving another lesbian and i'm sooooo not interested in being queer for the sake of discourse i just want to kiss a lady or whatever but thats not allowed until i pass my lesbian exam that every other lesbian passed 20 years ago

idk. maybe all of this confusion means im not a lesbian. i think if i really was sapphic i'd know the answers to this stuff already, researching would be easy and enjoyable..... but the master lesbian google doc..... idk... it seems like being sapphic requires more than just "Girls Kinda Pretty" and that is awful to me. i dont want to spend 4 years in lesbian university studying lesbianism just to get my lesbian degree so i can kiss a girl. i want to just kiss a girl Now why do i need a masters degree?? why do i have to study and earn and prove my place in a society where i thought the bottom line was Kiss Girls And Chill

"community history is important" i agree but why do i need to know all of this shit First, Before i am a lesbian. why cant i kiss ladies and research at the same time. idfk. idk anymore. i just want to love my gf. why am i 22 trying to figure out my sexuality when everyone i know did it when we were 14, how is that fair to me?? im sorry for being a late bloomer i dont know what you want from me

#i think to other lesbians im always going to be That Bisexual who only dates men but never shuts up about loving women #but its deeper than that. those were longterm relationships. nobody i know irl was ever queer in a way where we could have a relationship #i dont know if im a lesbian but i know how nervous i get around a hot butch or a hot femme #i dont know if im a lesbian but i can describe to you every butch ive ever had a crush on #i dont know if im a lesbian but i think in grade 3 i was trying to impress that pretty girl for reasons beyond wanting to be friends #i dont know if im a lesbian but i am head over heels in love with my gf #i dont know i just dont know anymore i feel like a failure #everyone else had their sexyality figured out at 14 and im 22 #i hated going to the gaystraight alliance at my high school because they would buly me for not being gay enough when the teacher wasnt there #maybe its true maybe they knew better than me that im faking it or something #but on more than one occassion in hs i had classmates beefing about my sexuality i wish i was making this up #ive been told i have a lesbian voice i have lesbian vibes but i dont know if thats true especially if my actual queer friends didnt see it #i feel like im failing myself and every queer person ever i feel like every other lesbian just hates me so much and im so sorry #not dog #personal #big feelings

[cy-cyborg]

I like your disabled writing advice post but I'm not planning on writing a disabled character. Do you have any general writing advice?

Different thing work for different people, don't get too caught up on certain methods and approaches in your writing (e.g. always plan your story vs write as you go)

Be wary of anyone giving universal advice (e.g. never do this or always make sure you have that in your writing). The advice can be good, but it's rare that any piece of advice works 100% of the time, for every type of story.

Let your draft be bad. Get the story out and fine-tune it later. (I'm still working on that one personally lol)

remember the people you're writing about will see your work and what you're saying about them. I usually use this advice for disabled characters but it applies to others too. gay folks will see your gay characters, fat folks will see your fat characters. Even moving away from minorities, scientists will see your scientist characters, marines will see your badass marine character etc. Make sure you're not basing everything you know about them off stereotypes, because the people who the stereotypes are about will know. This leads into my next point:

write what you know doesn't mean never write things outside your own experiences, it just means you need to learn about it first and do good research.

You can't please everyone. Your story could be perfect, but it won't be for everyone. There are a lot of great romance books out there, a lot of great horror and thrillers, a lot of great murder mysteries, but they just aren't my cup of tea. It doesn't mean they aren't good though. The same will be true for your book, not everyone will like it, and that's ok. Spend your time worrying about how your genre's audience will receive your story over trying to be "broadly appealing".

Are you absolutely certain you have no disabled characters? A lot more people are disabled than what most folks realize and a lot of authors will include us without even realizing. Do you have any elderly people? how about someone with glasses? a character with a big/visible scar? Someone who experiences trauma? all these things are disabilities - albeit mostly minor ones - but they've been normalized so much, most people don't think of them as such (trauma is kind of the exception: it's not really normalized in the real world but it is normalized in fiction, and it can be very intense. That's where things like PTSD and CPTSD come in though). Disability isn't just wheelchair users and amputees, it's any condition that has an impact on your daily life - big or small and it shows up a lot more frequently than you might expect. (my point here isn't to be like "ha, gotcha!" lol, more to just get you to think about it a bit more deeply).

#writing #writeblr #writing disability #creative writing #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #writing community #on writing #writer #authors #author #fiction

[greypetrel]

HI ARJA I’m so curious about your moby dick AU lol you always have the best AUs

HI ROWAN I'm glad you asked! :D It's gonna be a big ass rant, so it's under the cut. I'm very excited about this AU, it tackles some things I love and have first-hand experience of, so yeah, I'll be chatty about it ahahahah.

I've posted a chapter at random on AO3 and you can find some snippets in the whale au tag!

So, it's "Zoologist Aisling who thinks whales are the best thing after sliced bread saves Cullen, who happens to have survived a shipwreck caused by a whale". Shenanigans happen.

It was an idea of @shivunin (thank you again) and I'm currently trying to give it a little outline not to go totally at random. I am thinking about characters background, it's a non-magical AU and so stuff needs to be adapted. The title of the WIP is old, I realised after that... You know, it's a Moby Dick INSPIRED thing. The first idea was having Aisling as Melville and Cullen as Ishmael teaming up to write Moby Dick. Cullen has the sailing parts, Aisling filling in with conspiracy theories about whalers and spite over naturalists. And both of them inserting a gay relationship because I'm still a big part of the Bi!Cullen agenda, and that book is terribly gay.

I did realise later on that there's a limit to the horrors I'm willing to put characters through and write, and cannibalism is really NOT one. I also moved it to another period and to the 1900s because I already did research for another original project and I'm more familiar with it.

The title of the file will change when I'll have a better one for this AU.

For now I do have a background for Aisling, what she's in Nantucket to do, and I'm so happy to say @melisusthewee jumped on the bandwagon aboard with Quinn and Horatio, but I'm letting her introduce you to them in this. I'll just say that Aisling refers to Quinn as "Mr Arch-Nemesis".

She's in Nantucket for a research over sperm whales behaviour, restore her family's name (dad was a scholar too, but alas, he was caught being a member of the Fenian society and giving money to the Irish revolutionaries... She's the Royal Society's favourite person, yes) and hopefully put a brake on whale hunting (the 1900s saw the peak of killed whales, you can bet miss "I'd adopt a dragon if Bull didn't constantly prevent me to try and befriend one" won't be ok with it). Dorian and Josephine -whom I couldn't fathom being there with her, seriously I can't picture Dorian on a ship if not in first class, unless he was beaten unconscious before boarding and dragged on. Josie finances ships, sure... but being on board of one and working? A whole different thing. So, they're Aisling friends, but they stayed in London to get her fundings.

Cullen needs to find reason to get to the sea again, he was a harpooner and worked on ships all his life... After being the sole survivor, he needs to find his centre back and get on with it. The crazy whale fangirl may or may not help him on this.

And there was only one bed, of course. (have I already said that Moby Dick is VERY gay?) (I had a blast reading it, thank you so much @salsedinepicta for making me curious about it! <3 Also if you want to throw your characters in this GO ON.)

I thiiiink I may change names and design and also do something fully original. I'm particularly enthusiastic about it because it allows me to tackle stuff I experienced in my life (I did some sailing! Very little and purely recreational, but still) and to re-use some research I already did for another original project which I love dearly, but it's definitely more than I can chew on my own. If I don't chicken out because the place is linked to some trauma, I maaaaay add a part in the seaside town I spent a lot of time growing up.

But again, let's see how it goes, researching on Italy isn't the easiest thing ever if you're not aiming at Rome or the Renaissance, and we're talking about a pretty regional side of Italy. I have good hopes because the people are very very very much into their own history and claiming it back, so I may find some good infos without spitting too much blood.

it's a work in progress, but there's gonna be more about this!

#whale au #petrel replies #dragon age inquisition #dragon age AU

[nhlmcfilthy]

Could End in Burning Flames or Paradise

I have no idea about any of the real time events, I'm assuming they both made it to the NHL right away, given their high pick status, and I'm not about to go do research on this friends, I just wanna write some dirty stuff about them being horny for each other, ok? Don't focus too much on the specifics, k?

Warnings: absolute smut (eventually). Rimming, hand jobs, light dom/sub. Not really orgasm denial but definitely asking first. I feel like there’s more to this fic, maybe a second instalment?

Word count: 7K (whoops)

The Leon Draisaitl has a problem. Specifically, Leon Draisaitl has a Connor McDavid problem. Like, he's happy to have Connor on the team - thrilled actually. A generational talent like that playing with him, it's the dream, really. He couldn't be happier than that. He spent the off season watching videos of Connor, he sees how he trains and takes care of his body. The jokes about how he's more robot than hockey player don't phase him, Leon's German, he appreciates a well run machine. He's just....distracted. Now that Connor is here and in the change room and Leon is seeing him close up, his sort of secret, not-really-a-crush-just-an-appreciation-of-his-talent-shut-up-ok THING is a problem. He's had crushes on guys before and it hasn't been a big deal, but there's something about Connor that's just magnetic to him. He can’t stop thinking about him. He FEELS him entering the room. It's like the room is getting smaller and smaller and that it's just them. All the clichés he's heard before. He just doesn't know what to do.

The first time Connor takes off his shirt in the locker room his brain sort of short circuits. He starts thinking about being on the beach with him, and how nice it would be to just like, put sunscreen all over him. Innocent enough, then he's pulling down his shorts a bit (just in case they ride down when he's tanning or playing with a football or something. Everyone knows you have to put sunscreen just under where the clothing line is...) and then Connor is looking at him with a devious look in his eye, saying he can go lower if he wants, and Leon is just...salivating. Like, he can't believe this, and then...then he's right back in the dressing room and Connor McDavid IS talking to him but he's got his base layer on and he's looking at him like he's probably said something an embarrassing amount of time ago and Leon has just been staring and good job, Leon, you should probably say something now. "Hey, Connor, Leon. Sorry, I’m still working on Germany time. So nice to meet you, great to have you on the team" and he salvages the moment, he thinks. Gotta keep it under control Leon.

Most players in the locker room don't care that he's gay, but he doesn't need to make a fool of himself here. Connor is so new here and already has the pressure of the world on him, you're just welcoming him to the team. He also doesn’t know if Connor is gay, and it’s only training camp and you don’t want to be awkward with the new superstar.

So if Leon goes home and he can't sleep that night and he looks up videos of Connor playing and working out and if he gets hard and jerks off (just a little, most of the time he's picturing Sebastian Vettel, anyways, it's just the videos of Connor that get him going) nobody needs to know, right? He tells himself he can keep it in check.

But training camp is grueling, and he's tired, and he's paired with Connor a lot, both young stars, it makes sense. And if he gets exhausted and slips into a fantasy here and there, he can't help it.

Connor is actually really sweet about it. He brings Leon an extra coffee the next morning and he also seems to think that Leon is maybe dehydrated and gets the training staff to give him extra Gatorade. He's even chatted about nutrition and Leon managed to have a totally normal conversation that time. He did not fantasize about feeding Connor chocolate dipped strawberries. Shut up brain, not now!

They have amazing chemistry on the ice, and Leon knows he should be offering to hang out more often, but Connor is actually pretty shy (and has a really strict regime/schedule) and Leon is honestly afraid to ask him anything cause he's pretty sure it'll just come out as something like "hey Connor you wanna come over and watch movie but I'm just going to be watching you and thinking about what your mouth around my cock would look like or my hands on your hips and I fuck you over the edge of this couch" and he can't really say that now, can he? There’s not much downtime anyways and Connor is always getting pulled into media.

Hockey wise, they are seriously tearing it up on the ice. He’s challenging himself to keep up every day and he seems to be the only one who can. He’s bagged at the end of the day, but like, nobody else is close to keeping up with him. He thinks he’ll have a chance to actually play on a line with Connor. He’ll just have to get used to the cellys. Their body running into each other, slamming into the boards, Connor grabbing his helmet and tucking Leon’s head into his shoulder, or throwing his arms around Leon’s waist, its…a lot. Leon is thankful for all the all the equipment he’s wearing and he rushes to the the showers directly after and takes the longest, coldest shower known to man. It’s going to get exhausting.

After the game Connor is feeling pretty jacked. All the guys are. Preseason game or not, Connor McDavid is on their team and things are looking good. Connor and Leon have been having more normal conversations where Leon can mostly control his fantasies, and then Connor comes over and slings his arm around Leon’s shoulders. He’s so close to Connor’s face and Connor is basically talking into his ear. His breath is hot on Leon’s cheek. Leon sinks into the feeling then freezes. He doesn’t want it to stop, but he also doesn’t know what to do. He’s just got his shorts on and his brain has already gone on overdrive. He’s picturing Connor putting his other arm around him the pushing his body up against Leon’s. Lining up with Leon’s ass, he can feel Connor’s dick hard and grinding into him, maybe nibbling on his ear lobe and oh no, Connor is looking at him again. Leon sort of shrugs Connor off him and he runs to the bathroom and changes quickly. Thankfully this time his body hasn’t quite caught up with his brain but he knows that was kind of an awkward move. Connor is sitting in his stall (which happens to be next to Leon’s) when Leon comes back out, looking a bit dejected. He catches Leon’s eye on the way back and Leon kinda can’t avoid it. “Sorry if I'm too handsy, I’ve been playing with Mitch Marner for the last couple years, I forget not everyone wants some guy all over them. Even I don’t like it really, just got used to it. Marns has no personal boundaries” he laughs and he’s smiling so much and Leon says it’s ok and just kinda nods a lot takes as much clothes as he can without being weird to the showers and when he’s done, Connor is doing media again.

So when Eberle hosts a party at the end of the week Leon is a bit worried. He’s never been so excited, never been so tired, and never been so horny in his life. Everything is just turned up to 11. He promises himself he’s going to take it easy, but he’s still a young guy on the team and he’s being fed drinks by Nuge and Ebs and he’s feeling a bit drunk. After a few drinks though, he actually feels great. He’s not all anxious and stressed. He’s dead tired, yes, but he can sleep it off. He’s not feeling like a tightly wound like a guitar string, ready to snap. He sees Connor across the room and he looks a bit lost. Leon just thinks “I can do this” and goes over to him. When Connor sees him coming he lights up and waves him over, clearing space on the love seat. He’s out on the deck and as far as Leon had seen, he’s had a bunch of short one on one conversations, but nobody’s really stayed in conversation too long. It must be kinda lonely being Connor McDavid, he thinks. Placed on this pedestal, so high above everyone else. No one else in even close to his level, and he’s basically only lived and breathed hockey up till now. Leon feels a bit bad for him and as he strolls across the room, he tries to put every sexy thought about Connor McDavid in a box and close it up. He sits on the couch and Connor moves over, giving Leon plenty of space, but Leon feels brave so he brings a leg up, sitting sideways across the couch, pressing his shin against Connors thigh. “How’s it going Connor” Leon smiles. The two chat for a while and eventually Connor does confide that he thinks people find it hard to talk to him, hard to relate. Leon knows pressure, he’s the highest ever drafted German player. He’s no Connor McDavid, but he’s got the hopes and dreams of Germany on his back and he feels it sometimes. They’re chatting and drinking and relaxing seems to weirdly be the answer. Leon is actually enjoying having a conversation, leaning in, Connor puts his arm up along the back of the couch and Leon doesn’t imagine holding in down and crawling on top of him (or if he does, it's in the back of his mind, easier to ignore). Eventually they’re both a bit loaded and talking about their childhoods and friends and stuff and Leon is leaning more and more into the places where Connor is touching his body, but it’s loose and light and he's mostly able to focus on the conversation and then Connor puts his hand on Leon’s thigh and he’s not even aware of it but Leon’s brain just flips and switch and he can’t stop it and he just looks at Connor and says “I want you to ride me until you beg me to let you cum” and then he freezes. Shit. He knew getting drunk was a bad idea. Connor is staring at him, head cocked sideways like a puppy. He doesn’t look mad, just confused. Leon wonders if he even said it out loud, but he’s pretty sure he did. Connor finally speaks “dude, we’re you just speaking German to me? How drunk are you?” and he laughs, throwing his arm around Leon and messing up his hair. Somehow, amazingly, he didn’t fuck this up. Also, now that he’s said it out loud, he kinda feels more relaxed. It’s like saying it got something out of his system. He wrestles his head from Connor’s grip and fixes his hair. He even reaches over and messes up Connor’s a bit. They spend the rest of the night chatting and if Leon drops a few German curse words in when he feels like Connor is being just a bit too sexy for him, who’s the wiser.

The next day the have a late practice and of course they get bag skated because everyone knows they’re hungover. Leon is bone tired. He passed out as soon as he got home last night but doesn’t feel like he slept a bit. Connor looks sort of the same. His hair is all messed up but he honestly looks amazing. He has morning sex hair and it’s not fair and Leon tells him so. Still half asleep and also exhausted, he defaults to German again, and then remembers his realization from last night. He looks away from Connor and continues to mumble to himself “you look like you just woke up after being fucked so hard you forgot your name. I want to fuck you in your stall, you riding me while holding on to the hooks, screaming my name.” He tries to make it sound boring and monotone, and he’s fairly successful, but his breath does catch at the end. Connor just rolls his eyes at him like “typical Leon” so this is a thing now. Leon is thrilled. Finally it feels like he can function. This is brilliant. Him and Connor go out for dinner after practice and he has a great time keeping up the conversation, but also mentioning in German about how he’d love to be jacking Connor off underneath the table right now.

Leon’s tendency to mumble in German or strait up forget he’s speaking German in the locker room is well known after a couple months, so when Connor comes in and says good morning Leon just nods and then Taylor looks over and rolls his eyes “they already have a sick connection on the ice, now they’re speaking German. There’s no hope for any of us to catch up” and Leon hadn’t realized that Connor had said good morning in German. He does a double take at Connor and the Canadian’s face just lights up. “I’ve, uh, been looking up some German words” and he looks so shy and bashful and Leon absolutely wants to wipe that look from his memory but also save it forever. Leon composes himself and shoves Connor a bit and jokes “you’re gonna learn how to say ‘pass the puck’ so that I just get you more assists” and Connor smiles and yes, that was the right hockey chirp in that moment. Leon regroups later at home, thinking about what this means. Most curse words he’s using are slang and not the kind that the internet will provide without digging, and it’s not like Connor has all this free time, but still, he should be careful. The next time he mumbles something in German he keeps an eye on Connor and he can see him trying but comes up blank and then it barely looks like he’s paying attention at all after a while so he stops worrying so much.

He’s gotten better at hanging out with Connor, but it’s definitely followed by some furious jerking off when he gets home. He has to do something about it, otherwise he goes back to being grumpy Leon but he’s got this balance worked out. He’s stopped feeling bad about jerking off to his friend’s body because he’s sure there’s a whole bunch of gay dudes all over the world who are into hockey and into Connor doing it too, so why should he feel bad? Just cause he knows him and is friends with him, does that make it weird? He can’t think about it too much. It’s more of just a release and it’s working.

One day after a series of losses on a road trip they’re all piling into the locker room dropping off their stuff. Connor and Leon are sitting side by side in their lockers. They sat together on the plane and Connor fell asleep on Leon and drooled a little on his arm. Leon’s just thinking about how much he’d love to see Connor drooling from sucking his cock and Connor looked all ashamed when he woke up and he’s all soft and sleepy now, dozing off again half on Leon and so he just mumbled “God Connor, you look so fucking sexy I just want to take you into the therapy room, bend you over the massage table and eat your ass until you’re begging for my dick. Then I want to fuck you until until I fill you up with my cum” and Connor suddenly sits up, eyes wild and looks at Leon, looks at the therapy room, then looks at Leon again. Shit. Leon looks around then looks at Connor when he’s satisfied no one is paying attention to them “how much of that did you understand” Connor also glances around surreptitiously and looks sheepish and is blushing quite a lot. “Well , I know you mentioned the therapy room, and uh, I think you said something about” he pauses and drops his voice in to a whisper and it also drops about an octave and gets all gravelly “about fucking me and my ass and uh, um, uh eating it?” He looks at Leon then quickly looks away. His face is so red and he’s got his arm across his chest, like he’s protecting himself and he’s rubbing at his neck. “Jesus fucking Christ McDavid, are you good at everything” Leon says and Connor laughs, but stops and just looks at Leon. He’s waiting for confirmation. He’s put himself out on a limb here, and Leon is fucking it up again. “Um, yes, I did say that to you.” Connor swallows hard. Leon can see his Adams apple move and his own breath hitches. He doesn’t want to hope, but it feels like this could happen? That all the filthy fantasies that he’s told Connor about in a language that apparently he just learned over the last couple months could come to fruition. He can’t back down now. He doesn’t want to. But he has to make sure Connor can back down if he wants. He musters up all the confidence he has (which is a lot, he’s a professional athlete, but also he’s just a guy who has had a huge crush for a long time and is really laying it on the line here) and leans in to Connor and whispers in his ear “what’s the play, McDavid, you in or out?” He leans back and smirks a bit. Connor looks a bit like he’s going to back out, and then a smirk breaks out of the corner of his mouth “fuck yeah, let’s do this.” Leon can’t breathe for a second. He thinks about asking Connor to pinch him, but that’s too cheesy and he is also very aware of how real this is by how very uncomfortable his pants have become. He stands up as coolly as possible and looks around. Luckily most of the vets have shuffled off and he thinks he can command this room. “All right everyone out, McJesus here needs to do some special workouts in the therapy room and he doesn’t want to get embarrassed by the whiny noises he makes. He sounds like a fucking porno.” The guys look around and laugh and totally buy it. Leon and Connor have been spending a bunch of time together and also an unwritten rule of the team is whatever McDavid wants, he gets. Connor looks incredulous and Leon even thinks he catches a glimpse of him adjusting himself in his shorts. Leon quickly runs though his head of all the things that he wants to do to Connor, but there’s just too many and then everyone is gone and it’s just the two of them and Connor is looking at him expectantly. “We, uh, we doing this Drai?” Leon strides by him and turns his head back once he’s walked by “fuck yeah we are” and walks in the room and holds the door open.

Leon walks inside once Connor is in the room and locks the door cause you just can’t be too careful. He looks at Connor and breathes deeply. His voice steady and a tad bit lower than he expected when he instructs Connor to take off his clothes. Leon doesn’t move to help him. He doesn’t move to kiss him or touch his face. Just makes Connor strip in front of him. He can hear a slight noise form in Connor’s throat, almost like a moan he holds back, and Leon smirks. Connor looks up once he’s just in his boxers “umm, did you want me to take everything off or…” he looks at Leon, unsure. “Yes, hotshot. You want me to eat that ass or not?” Connor almost trips getting out of his boxers. “You gonna answer me, kid?” Leon asks even though Connor is only two years younger than him. He is a rookie after all. “Uh, yes, yes very much I’d like you to. You know. Do that” Connor says, almost running out of breath at the end, and then he manages to get some dignity back and looks Leon dead in the eye with glint of danger and says “you want me to call you sir or something?” Leon seriously considers it, and thinks about what he really wants, but he doesn’t want to push it just yet, so he just looks back and says “Leon will do for now. Now turn around and put your hands on the table” he says, in the same measured, monotone voice. Connor obliges. Leon wants to say to hell with the formalities, but he also needs to know what he’s getting into. “Have you ever done this before, Connor?” Connor sort of shifts like he’s going to turn around, then decides to just talk to the massage table. “No. I’ve never been with a guy and I’ve never” his voice gets breathy “I’ve never had my ass eaten either.” Leon smiles. “And you’re ok with me cumming inside of you? We’ve both been tested, but I want to make sure” Leon spreads a hand against Connor’s back and feels him jump a bit, but then arch into his hand “oh god yes Leon.” He sounds like a kids from a 50’s sitcom (oh golly gee, yes Leon), but it also gets Leon kinda hot. “Ok Connor. You let me know if I do anything you don’t like” Connor pushes his ass shamelessly up in the air towards Leon “I don’t know if that’s possible” and Leon has to swallow hard.

Leon takes a hand and smooths it down the arc of Connor’s ass, trailing his thumb along the inside. He feels Connor gasp and then hold his breath for a bit. Leon takes his other hand off Connor’s back and pulls open his ass cheeks. Leon takes deep breath, leans in and just breathes out into the puckering hole in front of him. Connor’s whole body reacts. He sees Connor’s leg muscles tense, his back arch, he’s pretty sure he throws his head back like a fucking porn star. God this is going to be good. “How are we doing so far?” Leon asks and Connor stutters as he answers “g-g-good Leon. Fuck, so good.” Leon chuckles and breathes out little short breaths into Connor’s ass cheeks. He plants small kisses on Connor's ass, hovering over the hole, but not quite going there. Connor is whining and trying to back into him and Leon warns him by firmly pushing him back into the table "stay fucking still." Connor sounds like a fucking child when he says "but you're driving me crazy" Leon backs up a bit "oh, you want me to stop?" Leon feels Connor's whole body react to that "please no god, sorry Leon, I'll behave" Leon thinks about it for a second and then pulls a hand off Connor's ass, winds up, and slaps it. Connor groans and Leon smiles "you fucking better"

Leon puts both hands on Connor's ass again and spreads his cheeks. He flattens his tongue, licking all around the hole smoothly across the skin. After Connor relaxes into it, he starts pressing in. Connor pressing back into it, puffing out air as an involuntary response. No noise, just breath. Leon fucks him slowly but firmly with his tongue. It's been such a long time since Leon has done this, and it's really one of his favourite things to do, but he knows it a lot the first time, and he really wants to get to the main event here. He slows down and lets go of Connor's ass. He thought Connor would wine again, but he's just leaning into the table breathing hard. "You like that, Connor?" Leon says, stroking up his back. "That is" Connor says between breaths "the best fucking thing to happen to me, ever" Connor manages to get out. "And I was drafted number one in the NHL" he adds, slyly, getting a chuckle from Leon.

“I don’t have any lube, so we’re just going to have to improvise” Leon says, then leans forward again and reaches around to grab Connor’s dick. Connor chokes a high pitched moan out and Leon strokes him for a second, then thumbs over the tip, collecting precum on his thumb and then lets go. Connor whines and Leon assures him “the next bit is going to be even better than that, don’t worry” Leon says before he sticks his fingers in his mouth. He sucks on them a bit, while rubbing the thumb covered in precum over Connor’s hole with the other hand. He removes his fingers from his mouth and between Connor's fluids, the wetness from Leon's mouth, and Leon's fingers, he's able to work two fingers into Connor pretty easily. Connor eagerly takes them, once again, trying to back into them and Leon has to use one hand to hold down the younger boy's hips. "Leon, fuck, Leon that's so good. Shit. Pleasedontstop" Leon is slowly working his fingers in and out the tight hole, starting to think about himself here. He has been achingly hard in his pants for too long now. He's been able to ignore it up until now, solely focused on Connor's enjoyment, and having a good time himself, but his dick is begging to be paid attention to.

Connor feels more relaxed and after a few more thrusts with his fingers. Leon says "I think you're ready, Connor" pulling his fingers out. Once again, Connor just takes the time to catch his breath and doesn't complain. Leon takes off his shirt, pants, and boxers and gets a hand on himself. He sighs a sigh of relief, finally getting to touch himself. Slowly stroking he checks in with Connor again "how are you doing, Connor?" Connor is resting on the massage table, using it to support all his weight. "Please, Leon. Please" Leon squeezes his dick and moans with pleasure "please what, Connor?" Connor whimpers "Please fuck me. I need you. I need to feel your dick inside me now" Leon's knees buckle a bit. He's not sure he's going to be able to last very long, but likely neither will Connor. "Alright Connor, fuck, I'm gonna fuck you now" and Connor pulls himself back up on his elbows and Leon lines up with Connor's hole and he slowly presses in.

Connor has been sufficiently prepped, but Leon still takes care and moves in slowly. Connor starts backing up into Leon, but once Leon has started pressing in, he stops and cries out a bit. "Hey, Connor, take your time, slow down. You doing ok?" Leon asks, Connor gulps "yeah, it's just. A lot" Leon steadies himself. Letting Connor adjust to the feeling. "You let me know when you're ready for me to move again Connor" Leon says and Connor nods. Leon strokes up and down Connor's back, and finally Connor relaxes a bit more "ok, I'm good" and Leon starts moving in again slowly. It's excruciating, but also exciting. Knowing Connor is going to grow and stretch around him, and he has to close his eyes and hold back a couple of times cause he's getting pretty close himself. He’s never fucked somebody he cared about this much, and he's never been anyone's first time. He hooks up at bars and online, but this is totally foreign and kind of intense. Leon's proud to be Connor's first time. He wants it to be perfect. Connor is just so eager and feels so good around him. He's got a rhythm going now, each time pushing in a bit further and when he finally bottoms out, both him and Connor groan in unison. "God Connor, you're so tight, you feel so fucking good" Leon moans. Connor just rests his head against the massage table and hums in approval. He's starting to move with the rhythm, backing into Leon and Leon is beginning to feel overwhelmed.

Everything he's held back for the last couple months, every single fantasy he's had, it barely lives up to the real thing. He's fucking Connor McDavid and there is nothing better in the world. Connor is starting to moan and whine and move erratically and Leon leans over and asks "do you want to touch yourself Connor" and the younger man gasps and pushes up and reaches down to his cock. He turns around to look at Leon to make sure and Leon just nods. Connor wraps his hand around his dick and loses his footing a bit. His knees buckle and Leon grabs tightly onto his hips to steady him. Connor is stroking himself sloppily, moaning nonsense, but Leon makes out his name so he asks 'what do you want Connor?" Connor's speech is almost slurred when he replies "Leon, can I?" Leon closes his eyes and steadies himself knowing that his own release won't be much longer after Connor's. "Can you what, Connor?" He asks coolly. Connor works hard to keep his composure "can I cum Leon" he says. Leon bucks a little harder into Connor, and elicits a shout, but Leon calmly says "yes Connor, you can cum" and he feels Connor begin to stroke faster and everything gets tighter around his dick and Connor is moving so much and Leon is trying to steady him. Connor starts babbling and there's a series of "oh, oh fuck, oh fuck Leon. Shit, fuck, I think I'm gonna. I'm gonna cum, fuck" and then a tortured moan comes out and he's clenching all around Leon's dick and Leon is barely holding on here. Hearing Connor's reaction, hearing him say his name, knowing that it's Leon that made Connor feel this way, feeling him clench so tightly, Leon's starting to come undone. He grips tighter to Connor's hips, knowing that he's going to leave a bruise, and starts to feel his release coming. "Connor, you've been so fucking good, I'm gonna fill you up now. Fuck, Connor, you feel So Fucking Good” he say, punctuating each thrust. Connor is still stroking himself and Leon thinks he must be pretty raw at this point, but he keeps going and Leon finally releases with a groan. His knuckles are tight where they are gripping Connor’s hips and he is definitely going to leave bruises, but he thinks that Connor might enjoy having these little memories of tonight. He’s certainly going to enjoy seeing them later in the locker room and well, that’s something to file for next time. He releases his grip and takes Connor’s hand in his and slows him down until he’s let go of his dick completely. He still seems pretty dazed, the side of his face laying against the massage table. Leon is still inside Connor, and he leans over to whisper in Connor’s ear causing Connor to whimper as Leon’s still hard dick pushes deeper inside. Leon shudders as well. “You did so good, Connor” Leon croons into his ear. “So good for me. Did you have a good time?” Connor makes a noise somewhere between a grunt and a moan and tries to nod his head. Leon lets go of Connor and brings his hand up to stroke his face. “I’m gonna pull out now, and do you know what’s going to happen?” Connor tries to shake his head but just ends up looking at Leon questioningly. “I’m going to pull out and all my cum is going to leak out of your asshole where I filled you up.” Connor melts a little bit and Leon steadies him. “You made me cum so much, there’s going to be a lot.” Leon keeps stroking Connor’s face, making his way to his neck and keeping firm pressure on the back of Connor’s neck and upper back. “It’s going to drip down and feel so nice, and do you know what I like to do with it?” Leon asks, slowly stroking down Connor’s back “I like to clean it all up with my tongue” and Connor is sinking again. “Do you think you’d like that, or do you want to stop for tonight?” Leon says as he takes Connor’s hips again, trying to avoid the spots that are blossoming into bruises. “I…” Connor stutters “I want it. Fuck, Leon, I want it so bad, please Leon”

Leon wishes he had a his phone so he could record this as a voice note. It’s like the best porn, hearing Connor say that. Leon steadies himself and slowly pulls out of Connor, who whimpers a bit, but manages to stay still. Leon’s cock is followed by a trail of cum, slowly leaking out. Leon grabs a cloth and wipes himself off, and then puts both hands on Connor’s ass cheeks again. It’s like a bookend of rim jobs, and Leon thinks about how lucky Connor is to have him do this. Not in a cocky way, just the fact that someone has taken care during his first time.

Leon directs his attention back to Connor and sees that the cum has made its way down as far as his right knee. Leon starts there, licking up the inside of Connor’s thigh and under the swell of his ass, gathering it in to the hole and then licking it all up with his tongue and swallowing. Connor’s legs are shaking and he is lying on the massage table and using it to support most of his weight. His face is turned into the mattress and his eyes are pressed closed. His mouth is open, just a little bit. Leon continues licking around and cleaning up all the cum. He loves following the lines of liquid and getting every last bit. He appreciates a clean surface. When he’s done he presses kissing on the insides of Connor’s cheeks and squeezes the swell of his ass.

Connor is fully hard again and Leon runs a hand up and down his back “do you think you can cum again, Connor?” Connor hesitates “I’m not sure. I want to, but it’s so…so much” “I know baby” Leon strokes Connor’s back slowly and Connor basically mewls at the nickname. “Do you like it when I call you baby?” Leon asks, already knowing the answer. “Yes” Connor whispers, turning his face back into the massage table. “Don’t be ashamed, baby. I’d love to call you that” Leon says, knowing what he wants to ask, but not knowing if he should. It’s like, the ultimate fantasy, and this has already shattered his wildest fucking dreams, he doesn’t want to ruin in. Fuck it, though. He wants it, and he’s going to ask for it. “Connor, I’d really like it very much if you called me daddy, do you think you could do that?” Connor swallows heavily “yes daddy” he says breathlessly, and fuck. Leon thinks his brain is going to explode and his dick is also very interested in this now. “Thank you baby, you’re so good to daddy. Do you want me to finish you off? We can do it together” and Connor looks back and Leon and nods. “I’m going to need you to stand up, baby” Leon says, stepping back from the massage table. Connor closes his eyes and takes a second “yes daddy” Connor says and Leon smiles.

Connor pushes himself up and stands up facing Leon, who then steps towards Connor and cups his face. Leon looks at Connor and realizes that they haven’t kissed yet. A weird omission, but I guess it kinda started all hot and heavy, and that’s the way Leon likes it, but this feels more like a sweet moment. Leon leans in and presses his lips against Connor’s. Connor presses in hard and starts opening his mouth. Licking into Leon’s, full of desire. Leon pushes his tongue into Connor’s mouth, chasing the other boy’s tongue. He wonders if Connor can taste Leon’s cum, and his own ass. Leon is aching with how perfect this has been. How Connor has fulfilled every fantasy. He reaches down and grabs his and Connor’s cocks together in one hand and starts jerking them, hard. They’re both still slicked up with cum and they’re both raw and on the just the other side of uncomfortable. Connor is whining and sucking on Leon’s tongue and Leon pulls his tongue out of Connor’s mouth and bites on his lip, sucking hard afterwards. He makes his way to suck on Connor’s ear lobe while they both take some breaths. “You like this, baby?” Connor is breathing hot against Leon’s shoulder, leaning on him to hold himself up. “Yes daddy, you’re so good to me, daddy, I’m gonna cum again for you” and Leon smiles and takes a quick nip on Leon’s neck before sucking a large mark. “I just want to let everyone know you’re mine, baby” Leon said and Connor nuzzles his face into Leon’s neck, mumbling. Leon isn’t gonna last much longer, and he’s pretty sure if he told Connor to cum now, he’d be ready to go. “Do you want to cum again for me, baby?” Leon whispers on Connor’s ear “yes daddy, so badly” Connor mouths onto Leon’s neck. “Ask nicely” Leon says. “Please daddy, can I cum now?” Connor asks. Leon’s starting to feel his own orgasm coming from the friction of his hand and Connor is bucking into it causing frictions on their dicks. Leon whispers “cum for me baby” in Connor’s ear and nibbles on his ear lobe as he feels Connor start to shake and fall apart. “I’m…I’m…im cumming for you daddy, oh god, oh fuuuuuck” Connor cries as he falls into Leon, and Leon struggles to hold them both up.

He leans Connor against the massage table after a few seconds and finishes jerking himself off, looking at the tired and spent Connor McDavid and replaying his favourite parts from tonight in his brain. He has a lot of material for later. He cums loud and hard and Connor just stares at him, looking dazed, but very satisfied. He wipes up again and walks up to Connor, bent over the massage table again. “Why don’t you lie down for a bit, it’s ok, I’ve got you, I’ll take care of you” Leon says, helping Connor onto the table. He finds a towel and he cleans Connor up. He finds his boxers and puts them on and grabs two more towels. “I’ll be right back, you just relax, I’ll take care of you baby” Leon says as he unlocks the room. Connor lies in the dark, collecting his thoughts and coming back to his body and soon enough Leon returns with two warm, wet towels. He puts one on Connor’s forehead, and uses the other to clean himself and Connor up, uttering soothing sounds, telling Connor how good he was. “So good for me, I hope you had a good time.” Connor grabs Leon’s arm and looks him in the eye “fuck, that was, I didn’t even know it could feel that good. Shit Leon. I mean, daddy” and he blushes. Leon looks down at Connor lovingly “you can call me Leon again. We’ll save daddy for in the moment stuff. You don’t want to slip up in the locker room” and Connor nods, squeezing Leon’s arm. “I don’t think I can move, can you carry me home?” and Leon cracks up at that. The idea that he fucked superstar Connor McDavid so good that he can’t move and needs to be carried, that’s something he’s going to hold onto until the grave. “You’re good, big guy” Leon says tapping Connor’s side “let’s get you home” he said collecting Connor’s clothes. They think about showering again, but it’s already late and they are super tired. Leon watches Connor get dressed, proud when he winces over a bruise, or walks a bit delicately from getting fucked, and he swells with pride. “Wanna stay at my place tonight? We can stop by yours on the way and get anything you might need for the morning?” Connor nods and smiles. Leon grabs another towel and a spray bottle and cleans up the rest of their mess. He takes all their used towels and throws them in a laundry basket. Leon sees Connor just standing there and comes up behind him, kissing the back of his neck, sliding his hands up Connor’s shirt in the front and running them over his chest. Connor hums. He turns around to face Leon and puts his hands on the small of Leon’s back. Leon steps into Connor and places a hand on the back or Connor’s neck. He brings their bodies together and when their dicks meet, even fully clothed, Connor hisses inwardly. Leon smiles and said “so good, baby” and kisses Connor’s lips. Connor smiles and after a quick kiss says “learning German was really worth it” and Leon doubles over laughing. He can’t breathe. He’s starting to feel the day and the last hour catching up to him. “Let’s go home, Connor” Leon guides him out of the room and into the locker room as they gather their stuff. “So” Connor looks at Leon while he’s throwing some gear in his bag and asks “is this just a one time thing, or…” and Leon smiles “you think that short of shit happens all the time, rookie?” Connor blushes “you know what I mean” and Leon sits next to him and leans in “I don’t plan on letting you get away any time soon. That was the best sex I’ve had in my life and guess what? It’s only going to get better” he plants a kiss on Connor’s cheek and squeezes his hand. “Now let’s get going, some of us didn’t get to lie down!” Connor rolls his eyes at Leon, but he’s still looking at him like he’s the best thing he’s ever seen. And he probably is. And they’re going to play hockey together for a time. And also sometimes, they’re going to fuck. And Connor wouldn’t want anything else.

#leon draisaitl #connor mcdavid #edmonton oilers #hockey #hockey rpf #hockey rpf fic #hockey fic #Leon Draisaitl x Connor McDavid #they are so bodyfriend #but leon is in charge #I just want Leon to tell him what to do #and maybe get him to play a game with a plug in #and then fuck him after #leon draisaitl fic #leon draisaitl smut #Connor McDavid fic #Connor McDavid smut #hockey smut #nhl fic #nhl hockey #nhl #leon draisaitl rpf #Connor McDavid rpf

[wibble-wobbegong]

The end of the year is near! Give a shoutout to your favorite blogs and tag them to spread positivity before the year ends! (from: a secret anon)

FUCK YEAH!!!!

okay my favorite theory/analysis blogs

@aemiron-main - actually i hate him. im lying. all he does is cause me unimaginable pain and suffering. no but genuinely a genius theorist and has eyes like a hawk!! he does a fantastic job at thoroughly combing the show and finding the littlest details that don’t make sense in order to build a bigger picture and i eat it up every time! love him even though i think he’s goading me to kill myself whenever he reblogs one of my posts and the tags start with “wibble what if i told you”

@bugsbenefit - my absolute favorite blog to read about narrative analysis from!!! they do an amazing job explaining oddities from a narrative position as well as identifying ways certain theories are either supported by or don’t work with the way the narrative needs to flow in S5. she’s also super skilled at keeping my attention throughout a post with the way she writes

@bylerschmyler - love this guy because they’re not afraid to point out the flaws of something and create counter arguments but they also aren’t doing that stuff to discredit a theory but rather challenge its strength!! like they won’t press on if the original theory can go against the counter points they make. PLUS they create incredible theories of their own!!! the mike is the 4th victim stuff is really good

@finalgirlbyers - idc if they consider themself an analysis blog or not because I do. they regularly have fantastic takes and explain things in a quick and easy to understand way. she genuinely has a great grasp on the show but she’s also very open minded which is always so nice to see!! like if you’re looking for short, sweet, banger posts that hit the nail on the head i am pointing at their blog

@heroesbyler - ok. stav is the only person whose analysis i have legitimately cried over. the approach she takes to covering the very serious and dark topics of stranger things is something i really appreciate because she doesn’t curve the pure horror of some of the stuff going on. if you really wanna feel just how horrific the gay horror show is i’d recommend reading some of stav’s analysis because she NAILS it and does not mask just how fucked up it can get.

@laozuspo - james always has some incredibly niche but great insight to the show!! theory wise, i’m always amazed by how intricate his research for a theory will get so when you read his posts it’s just evidence on top of evidence and it’s always really engaging and VERY interesting. radiationgate had me hooked for days because there was just SO much to explore regarding that topic and there were so many little details that just make so much sense!!!

@mlchaelwheeler - MY SISTER IN MICHAEL DEFENSE!!! one of the original mike defenders and someone who i trust to accurately talk about mike’s character, which is saying a lot because i’m Me. ALSO she kick started so many great conversations!! iirc, she was the one who made the original theory about henry having been the one who kidnapped will, not the demogorgon way back in like. June. she’s been on it longer than any of us

favorite authors :)

@andiwriteordie - ok SO i have to tell you guys that this shit??? my life hasn’t been the same since i first read this. i know it’s an older one but it’s in my top three fics of all time i legitimately adore it!! pure jet fuel for that last week before V2 dropped and honestly part of me still really wants that final scene to happen in S5 ngl. like it kills me every time i read it but it’s just so GOOD

@astrobei - oh suni, how i her love writing. always a GREAT time when you’re reading an astrobei fic, and i think my favorite is still this one!! it’s just got such a fun vibe and the characterization is immaculate and the plot is really intriguing! it’s one of those fics where you can’t stop reading even though it’s like half the length of an entire novel. sometimes sleep is worth the sacrifice and this fic is one of them

@blueeandyellowmakesgreen - top ten reasons to kill myself; this ficlet. jade i absolutely love you but this??? fuck you for making me go through that not once but TWICE. i felt that shit in my SOUL and it HURT. it hurt SO BAD. writing so good it makes you immobile for 6.5 hours because you can’t stop replaying the image in your head 🖕🖕 (<3)

@/byeler - ok not actually @-ing this person because we’ve never interacted and i’m not about to make a fool of myself by being a little fanboy loser BUT. absolutely incredible writing. reading this had me so fucking sucked in dude, like i was reading and reading and i couldn’t believe time had passed at all. pure romance can be hard for me to steam roll through sometimes but i genuinely forgot that I was a Person while reading that

@elekinetic - ummmmmm hello??? script writer of all time? you’re not just reading it, you’re not just watching it, you’re being transported inside the show with the way she writes. every single character is on point and she maintains the atmosphere of the show itself BEAUTIFULLY!!! my favorite script thus far is probably the one where eddie gets shot, though it doesn’t seem like it’s up anymore. the ending has me gasping out loud because i saw it happening in real time in front of my eyes

@smoosnoom - MOON!!!! OHHHHH MY GOD i can’t even recommend one specific thing because every fic is just soooooo giggles twirls my hair. i am the number one smoosnoom fanboy. i fucking eat that shit up!!! like, whenever it’s time to read a smoosnoom fic I don’t just open the fic i KNOW i’m not moving till i’m done so i get some snacks and get really comfy and then i dive in and don’t move till i’m finished. every fic absolutely slays i cannot recommend every single fic enough

favorite editors!!!

@strangersynth - do i really have to say anything?? it’s time. like no shit he’s one of the best editors around and i think everyone knows that at this point. THE editor!! absolutely obsessed with every video. i really like the way she takes clips that aren’t really character clips but just stuff you wouldn’t even really think of or remember to build the tone of the video and it always comes together so well!!! like it’s the small details that he nails and that make the videos so incredibly delicious

@/thatgaymood - ok they just made a lot of funny edits + they’re really good at adjusting audio/visuals to make the character say and do shit that definitely didn’t happen but it’s really really well done so it’s just. I don’t know how to explain it. i was gonna find one of the more popular audios but i was scrolling their blog and found this and it made me kick my feet a little cause like. idk watch it and you’ll understand

favorite artists

@blueeandyellowmakesgreen - and she’s back! art that is so scrumptious and delicious and like. It’s like spaghetti kinda ! anyway here’s my favorite piece from jade and i will never shut up about it ever because everything about it is just sooooooo chomping biting chewing slurping devouring

@bujomoss - Hsbebbdbva bc d bujomoss is fucking!!!!! i love the way they draw mike like i love it so bad it’s not even funny. everything they make is so so good and my current favorite is this piece they did but it changes like twice a day bc bujo never does anything that isn’t one of the best things I’ve ever seen with my own two eyeballs

@gmaybe666 - BARKING BITING OH MY GOD. ok just so everybody is aware i am the biggest gmaybe fan around. legitimately i am such a fan i could gush about every single piece they do for days on end. it’s just SO good and it’s an art style i cannot get enough of. i have to scroll through their art regularly or i’ll start combusting it’s like air to me!! if i could link every drawing i simply Would but for now go give this piece some love please please please

@new-ronantics - OHHHHH MY DEAREST EEVIE!!! <33 art that is just so pleasing to look at. like it’s like biting into the most satisfying meal you’ve ever had!! amazing texture but not in the art way like if i bit into it i think it would have the texture of something i cannot even imagine but i know it would be the greatest of all time. incredibly bitable art i wish it were real food so bad. top ten bitable images

@nnilkyway - BITES HIM. ummmm ok so im definitely totally 100% normal about his art! yeah no it’s not like i turn into a wild rabid beast whenever a new nnilkyway piece is finished no definitely not bc i’m just So Normal about it. this means a normal amount to me because i am So-

@/taeiris go to her fucking blog. not elaborating. fucking do it before I Find You.

and the non-st blog boys 💪

@ed89 - edward my funny silly guy 👊😼 it’s been a minute but he’s hilarious and his time in the st fandom will never be forgotten. also if he sees this hi ed guess who hit his first bong two days ago :)

@ronaldreaganoffical - me and ronald reagan have a bromance i don’t expect any of you to understand. they’re from way before i even joined the st fandom when i was hardly even a blog, so actually they’re one of my most treasured mutuals even though we’re no longer in the same fandoms. love you bro <3

#this got very long my bad #these guys don’t know i have huge giant love asks written out and they’re just waiting to be sent at random times #one day im gonna come in and smack all of you with paragraphs explaining why i love you so bad #asks

[fruit-salad-ship]

Ok now I can't help but imagine Plum having a rough day, coming back home and seeing that old bangle, and just going over to Peach and hugging her tight. "What's wrong, Plum?" "I'm just really glad you're here."

Do you think it hurt? To turn up at your new job and see that person who walked out of your life, for at that point in time, reasons unknown. Missy recognised peach instantly, and peach knew her too, behaviour never changed. But she didn’t recognise plum, not anymore, and honestly the ranger hardly recognised her either, what happened? She use to be so small.

The sting of realising you work for her, you’re a member of staff to someone who wrote to you, and only you, that maybe there was a chance to be friends once upon a time. Peach remembers how she left things, doesn’t bring it up. That was a long time ago now, people change. In her mind there was no way that’d be fixed, her dumb teenage brain to leave behind a sorry wouldn’t have been enough to fix her awful behaviour back then.

But they worked, and the rivalry returned and their competitive nature grew once more into something that brought them both motivation and joy.

There would have been a night, maybe a staff party or something where it’s brought up. Plums brave or drunk enough to laugh about it, show her the stupid broken bangle she uses to mark her current page in any book she’s currently enjoying. 10 years later, still got it. She can’t even explain why, just didn’t have the heart to throw it out. Wore it until it snapped. Peach gives a genuine apology, no note, actual words, and sure it’s awkward and she’s clearly beat herself up about it for years, but at least they’re working it out. No hard feelings, both girls feel like it kind of…changed them, for the better mostly. Though they admit they always kind of missed the old days, recalling that one time plum punched peach square in the jaw, or the mission where they both ended up in a muddy ditch because of their failed plan. It’s nice to laugh together again, for real.

You just know plum teases peach for being her first kiss, the joke is there ready for the taking, and both find it plenty amusing. Peach admits she totally sniffed out another gay then and there, kind of impressed she managed it. Sixth sense or something.

Plum can’t help but mention how much peach has changed, calmer, more level headed, actually fun to be around, not just a ball of rage.

Grey spots them just away from the party talking, leaves them to it, they need this, they need to fix that past and move forward, and honestly it’s nice to see peach so engaged in improving with plum around, the ranger makes her work smarter.

So yeah, by the time they’re at that point, where plums had that crap day. Nothings gone right, but that broken trinket she touches almost every day to mark where she’s at in her journal or take note of her page in her research is a reminder that she’s strong, she can handle it. Be like peach, be tough, push through the hard days. Lord knows she’s had to before.

Gets home and there’s that big dope, gone are the days where they’d fight endlessly. Peach turns and smiles in the apron, busy making dinner, half the Pokemon in the house run to greet the ranger. She is home, she is loved. Peach sees she’s looking tired, switched from contacts to glasses, must have been a long day.

“C’mere killer.” One open arm gesturing for plum to come over, putting her bag down on the table as she moves. It’s small and dumb, but the little things really mean a lot after days like today. She gets bundled in one strong arm, hugged tight, both her arms up around peach’s neck just buried in her. “Grey said you’ve had a long one, thought I’d make your favourite tonight. Want to talk about it?”

A million miles from the peach she studied with for that brief year.

“No I just want to forget about it. I’m just really glad you’re here.” A sentence that peach doesn’t fully get but there’s a lot behind it.

“I’ll always be here you dope.” A response plum believes fully. She’s not about to lose this one a second time.

#fruit salad #brainrot #long post #I think about them a lot ok? #grey and peach got on well and steadily with no history in the way #but plum and peach? #there was a lot going on there

[hellfirefucker]

Steve had always known he was attracted to men. He just hadn’t noticed until very recently in his life. 

He first thought about his sexuality upon meeting his ex-best friend Tommy Hagan. His eyes always drank in the sight of Tommy like it was the last he’d ever see of the other. He counted all the freckles on his face over and over, sometimes missing a number and then repeating. He liked to look at Tommy’s lips as he spoke but that was just to be polite right?

As time would pass, he never once questioned his long stares at male bodies when he was in the locker room. How he watched the sweat drips down their chins while playing a sport. How he would pay attention to all their strange mannerisms thinking nothing more than innocent observing. 

When Robin came out to him though, Steve’s world was flipped upside down. She was like him! Wait, no. Not like him. Similar but different. He was proud of her and envious that she could so easily announce who she is to someone like him. Someone who previously had called people queer as an insult while maybe being queer himself. 

It’s not that he couldn’t accept himself but it was a matter of choice. All Steve had known was that a person could be straight, lesbian, or gay. There was nothing else. None of those labels fit him. So could he just make his own? Did it even work like that? 

Steve decided to do some digging. He wanted to be sure of who he was before even coming out to his friends because what if he was wrong? Maybe he just admired men a little more than regular people. He still liked women so there was nothing wrong with that. He dug and dug, delving into tons of research. As much as he could. 

During his journey to find himself, he stumbled upon a stranger. He didn’t expect it when it happened but when he first saw Eddie Munson, his suspicions were confirmed. It was as if the answer he had been searching for his entire life was standing right in front of him with a leather jacket, chains, and a curly mullet. Well, Eddie sort of was the answer to the question he had asked for most of his life at least. 

Eddie was wonderful, lovely, gorgeous, god, he was everything Steve could ever want in a partner. The more and more time the two spent together, he eased into the idea of being attracted to both men and women. Munson never once judged him and even urged him to keep exploring his sexuality all he wanted. Steve, for once, did notice how excited Eddie was that Steve was attracted to men. He kept that memory in his head to cherish. 

With a puff of his chest, Steve walked up to his friends ready to come out. Eddie told him there was no need to put a label on who he was but if he did want a label, it was perfectly ok and valid.

“Guys, I’m bisexual.” A smile was on his lips and Eddie stood by his side looking proud. 

Some of his friends were confused at first (Robin already had the idea but didn’t want to ask) but through some explaining, they were all proud of Steve. 

Steve Harrington was bisexual and nobody could dare take that away from him. 

#so sorry this is long #pls tell me if there are any mistakes #i believe in steve harrington was always aware of his sexuality rights #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #eddie x steve #steve x eddie #headcanons #my headcanons #bisexual steve harrington #gay eddie munson #steddie fic #ficlet #my writing #original work

[aritany]

hey!! i just wanted to check in cause i feel like i dont know what youre up to anymore. :-) hows the publishing going? whats your current wip? anything else you wanna share about life etc? i miss seeing you around and hope your going well :-)

aw, hey anon! this is such a sweet message!

publishing is going ok! we're finishing up the CE process, which has been by far the least painful bit. i just got to see the cover design for the first time (i'm not crying you're crying) and it's all starting to feel real. we still don't have a release date, but current plan is next spring, so we could be within a year!!

my current wip is actually not something i ever intend to publish! i've been doing lots of editing and if all goes to plan, i'll have MORE editing to do, so i've decided that 2023 is going to be my year off from drafting with intent to publish. first up next year is finishing HCMF, which is a little more than halfway done, but it's one of those books that i can tell needs to cook for a little longer before it's ready to come out. plus i'll be reading as much as i feasibly can this year, so i'll also get to breeze through my research books, too.

i'm writing something very self indulgent and silly in my spare time. it's an absurdly long deep dive into one of the characters from valiersverse, the universe my partner @ghostcasket and i created! i might share bits from it if anyone is interested, though it's very different from anything else i've written so far.

my life right now feels a little bit like a gay dream i don't want to wake up from. i just got to spend a few weeks with my partner (we're long distance), i love my job, i get to play dnd for a few hours a week, i'm legally past the point where my ex can cause any more trouble, and i recently told my transphobic parents where they can stick it. it's all pretty great. tomorrow is my 24th birthday, and i'm just really excited about everything the next year has in store.

thanks so much for checking in! this was a super sweet message and i'm hoping to get back on here with more regularity now that i'm settled from recent travels. to anyone still reading: have a spectacular weekend :)

cheers!

#alex talks #asks #publishing #life stuff

[yarboyandy]

2012 deviantart is back baby!!!! Tagged by @squimp ^_^ LOVE YOUUUUU <3

three ships

Ok I’m kind of a weirdo now because I’m watching shows that probably loop on cable forever. I am realizing none of these are gay #LOVELOSES

1. Bones x Booth

My current ship that literally makes me sick in the head. what if we loved each other despite our flaws that make us feel unlovable…what if I want to spend my whole day arguing with you instead of being with my girlfriend…if I see you talk to another man I’ll actually blow my fucking brains out.

The image is so pixel-y because I chew on it when I’m mad

2. Giles x Jenny

I know I flip flop between him and Ethan but I have wayyyy more to say about these two outside of “TOXIC YAOI!!!!!” The whole idea of “we made it work one day, just not in this life” DRIVES ME INSANEEEEE and is such a constant in Giles’s life across all his love interests (Ethan included LOL). Also Jenny is just cool 👍🏻

3. Alex x Meredith

I’m literally the only person who pictures this. Btw. Big fan of the two most damaged people you know getting together cuz they made a marriage pact for whatever reason. I think they could work.

First ship

Ummmm I don’t remember honestly Probably my pokemon OC x someone elses pokemon OC on deviantart when I was 12. A clefairy x luxio. Hope they’re doing well 👆👆👆 sadly i have no proof of this cuz i had a burning of Alexandria momebt at age 15

Last song I listened to

Смерти Больше Нет by IC3PEAK 😳

I listen to it when I row lol.

Currently reading

I haven’t picked it up inna sec but A Million Little Pieces by James Frey for the kicks and giggles and I’m starting Beloved because I love Toni Morrison…but mostly stuff for my research paper that I finished last week like Walking mannequins by Joya Misra. I want to start Kafka on the shore this summer but i know the translation isnt the best (??) maybe it is who knows who knows.

Also comic wise I’m reading Beneath the Trees Where Nobody Sees. It’s fun I just LOVEEEEE watercolor comics, reminds me of Beasts of Burden.

Currently watching

Bones and Greys Anatomy ‼️ I havent been watching a ton of movies sadly I dont have the time ☹️ But I need to watch Tiger Cruise for my propaganda class and I did just see Monkey Man which was AWESOME.

Relationship status

In like four different lavender marriages.

Current obsessions

Mostly fitness stuff I just started playing tennis and still really into running. I’m sad cuz I definitely did something to my shoulders so I cant row rn, I LOVEEEEE rowing. Umm outside of that…idk applying to jobs and making miniverses. Heres some attached to my friends fridge

LOL the ones that fell are inna pile on the window

Currently craving

Chocolate chip peanutbutter cookie……

Favorite color

GREEN! To wear tho probably like brown or grey…

Tagging: it’s not the same if I don’t tag people….sorry….HAVE FUN.

@z4chstone @autisticsquidward @princessmo @normalwizard @mouseratz

#tag game #yipeeeeee #uhg this class is soooooo boring

[nysocboy]

Glamorous: Be as femme as you wanna be, especially when you are surrounded by mega-hunks

Glamorous, on Netflix: Make-up obsessed Marco gets a dream job at a glamour firm, starts a journey of self-discovery, and falls in love with a man. The episode descriptions use "he/him" pronouns, but Marco is played by  -- and based on the experiences of -- trans actress Miss Benny.  So maybe he'll be coming out as trans at some point.

Scene 1: Marco awakens.  He's a boy with a femme girl hairstyle and a room decorated with pictures of high-heel shoes.  Asking himself if "the struggle to be a grown-up is realer than real," he puts on his frilly pink gown and heads for the makeup table -- well, more like a makeup warehouse, puts on his face, and starts talking to his internet followers: "I am a makeup artist and beauty industry professional who works with all the major brands, including Glamorous by Madolyn."  Looks like he's already pretty self-discovered.

But in real life, he has a part-time job behind the make-up counter at a department store, he has minimal followers, and his Mom, whom he claims "helps with my content," could not be less interested. But does that stop the dynamo make-up artist?  Nope. "We're going places!"

Scene 2: Mom has called in some favors and enrolled Marco in a paralegal training program.  Do you need to call in favors for that?  Can't anyone enroll? "But Mom, I already have a job!"  "It doesn't pay anything.  You're 22 years old: start taking your life seriously, and start paying me rent!"   Settle, dude.  You know how many famous make-up artists there are out there?  

Scene 3: At the mall, Marco sees his idol, Madolyn, looking at a display of her own products. She explains that she's doing important research in her customers' buying habits.  It's not just about the make-up, dude.  "I'm a customer!"  "Ok, let's see what you got.  Give me a makeover."  

Marco goes to work, while criticizing his idol's make-up! Smooth move, dude. It's not selling.  Customers consider it safe and banal.  They want fantasy.  "When I do my makeup in the morning, I want magic!  I want to feel like a star!"  

Madolyn is mesmerized.  No one has criticized her for 20 years. "You have some important things to say about makeup.  Want a job?" 

Scene 4:  Marco going to work in a glass-and-steel skyscraper.  At least he gets to wear his high heels and a totally femme hairstyle.  The first assistant, Venetia, introduces him to Madolyn's son Chad (Zayne Phillips, top photo), who is in a meeting while running on a treadmill....with his shirt off....um, his muscles gleaming....um...does he need a personal assistant?  

"Is this the superstar Mom hired from the mall?" Chad asks. Superstar?  I thought he was just opinionated.  Then he criticized Marco for wearing heels: "I'm gay, but I'm not...gay."  The word you're looking for is "femme," as in the Grindr ads: "No femmes, no fats."

Next on the tour: Product Design, and another gay guy, Ben (Michael Hsu Rosen, left), who trips all over his tongue while trying ineptly to flirt.  "He gets like this when he's excited," his coworker explains.  "I don't get like anything when I'm excited, which I'm not," he stammers.  "But I could be."  Dude, are you talking about your penis?

Next up: Social Media Influencer Alyssa, and her assistant Nowhere, a 1960s hippie.  "I'm an influencer, too!" Marco exclaims.  "Yes, but you just have 1,000 followers, and half of them are bots."

Finally Madolyn's office, with all of her awards, magazine covers, mirrors, and make-up.  I'm getting flashbacks to Wilhemina Slater on Ugly Betty. except Madolyn seems much nicer.  Marco the Dope criticizes her again: "You seem very...comfortable!"  "I beg your pardon?  I take chances!  I'm cutting-edge!"

Scene 5: Marco telling his followers about his first week, sugar-coating the slapstick mishaps that we see in a montage.  The First Assistant Venetia discusses with her friend: "He's flopping like a Katy Perry single."  "Good -- then our jobs are secure. If he were doing a good job, we'd have to sabotage him."

Left: Michael Rosen's rear

Scene 6:Madolyn criticizing Super Hunk Chad's ideas for the new line.  "This is exactly what we send to Sephora every year.  We need to be bold -- take chances." 

Chad: "Or we could just sell the company to World-Famous Make-Up Company and be rich(er).  You could even stay on as Creative Director, and I could do something besides sell...ugh...makeup."  Chad's going to be the Big Bad.

More mega-hunks after the break

Scene 7: Marco has the job of picking up the super-important product prototypes and bringing them to the office for the Big Presentation.  He gets into the wrong Uber, and complains to the real passenger, a very muscular Straight Guy (Graham Parkhurst), who takes an Uber to the gym every day, about his various job mishaps.  Straight Guy consoles him.  

Whoops, he left the very important prototypes in the Uber.  There's no way to track them down, since he got in the wrong Uber. Wait -- wouldn't the Uber driver have turned them in at the company office?   Madolyn wants to forgive him, but Super-muscular Chad insists on firing him. 

Scene 8:  Ben, the coworker with the huge crush on Marco, talks to his friend: "Now that he's fired, I could ask him out, but I won't because it would be weird and creepy.  But just in case, do you have his number?"  This is definitely like Ugly Betty, where every straight guy working in an office full of supermodels fell instantly in love with the "ugly" girl.  Well, not Daniel, but they had a "will they or won't they" thing going on for several years.

Meanwhile, Mom tells Marco to fight to get his job back.  The Straight Guy probably picked up the prototypes.  You know what gym he goes to, and the time of day: go find him!  

Left: Straight Guy butt

Scene 9:  Pretending to be a rich white guy, Marco buys a gym membership, with the proviso that he can back out if he's dissatisfied.   Girl, high heels to the gym?  He pretends to work out forever, but Straight Guy never shows up, so he hits the locker room (actually, a lot of semi-private dressing rooms).  And there he is, dawdling at the mirror, wearing only a towel! 

Straight Guy gazes at Marco like he's a pork chop.  "I...um...left something in the Uber yesterday." "I've got something for you right here."  He fumbles with his towel.  Psych!  He's actually heading to his locker to retrieve the prototypes.

"And, by the way, I'm not straight. And here's my number. Bye."  He takes off his towel, flashes his butt, and heads for the showers. 

Scene 9:  Everyone stares as super-fired Marco marches through the office and into Madolyn's meeting to present the prototypes.  Chad scoffs, but Madolyn wants to hear his speech: "I'm not perfect.  I'm bad at math, the oldest movie I've seen is Titanic, and I don't know who Cher is.  But I can learn.  I can grow.  The question is, can you?"  He then criticizes the prototypes as garbage.  Madolyn is impressed; he's re-hired If you want him to advise you on make-up, hire him as a consultant, not a gopher. 

Chad scoffs.  "Curses! Foiled again!" 

Left: Nick Fink, who appears in the cast list but is not in this episodeScene 10:  His first job: fetching coffee and a Vogue for Madolyn and First Assistant Venetia.  Uh-oh, he's sharing an elevator with Ben, the guy with the major crush on him!  He fumbles and stutters until Marco takes pity and asks him out.  Ben melts in ecstasy, then catches himself: "Um..yeah, I guess that'd be cool.  Hit me up." 

Cut to First Assistant Venetia running into Chad in the bathroom.  Venetia is worried that he'll take her job, and Chad, that he'll tank the company with his newfangled ideas. They come up with a plan to "ruin that twink." The end.

Beefcake:  Chad and Parker (Straight Guy), plus a few gym hunks.

LGBTQ Characters: Marco, Chad, Parker, Ben, and -- well, just about everyone.

Femme: No one is bothered in the least by Marco's femme gender presentation.  In fact, it appears to be something of a turn-on to the more masculine-presenting guys. 

Make-Up:  There are a lot of "make-up is the most important thing in the world" manifestos, but we don't actually learn much about make-up.  Why is Madolyn's brand outdated?  What the heck is a gondola?  At least in Ugly Betty, we were told the difference between bad and good fashion.

My Grade: It's rather fun watching a boy be as femme as he wants to be with no kickback, and the hunks competing for his attention are stunning.  I'm just worried that the office-politics plotlines will be a bit old-fashioned.  A-

#Glamorous #Miss Benny #Zayne Phillips

[victoriadallonfan]

um, so, first of all, I want to say that in general, I really really love reading your thoughts and essays on wildbow's writing, especially the parahumans series. It's genuinely enlightening and interesting a lot of the time.

However, I've noticed this kind of pattern where you see someone making a meta-textual argument ("doyalist" reasoning, commentary on the story in the context that it is a work of fiction), and you respond, or attempt to dispute the argument with a textual argument ("watsonian" explanation, talking about the story as events that happened, without the context that the story is fictional).... which ends up not actually addressing the metatextual point?

It's like, ok, one example would be something like magneto: there's an argument that the X-men stories are loosely inspired by the civil rights movement, with Professor X and Magneto being archetypically "moderate" and "extreme". This presents a significant issue when Magneto is depicted as unreasonable, needlessly violent, and antagonist, as, deliberate or not, this sends a negative message about figures perceived as more extreme (with Malcolm X being the most common example).

The is a meta-textual argument.

A meta-textual counter-argument might be "there are other characters in the X men universe who are 'extremists' but who are portrayed relatively positively, and additionally, the fact that (the hero) Prof X's name is similar to Malcolm X indicates the creators might have felt more generous to Malcolm X and similar people than the idea suggests".

However, a textual counter argument would be to ignore the real world connections and context of the original X-men context, and simply double down on talking about how much a villain Magneto is.... which is irrelevant. It doesn't actually address what the original argument is talking about.

melancholy-jouissance was talking about Tristan as an example. He acts in a shitty way towards Byron, crosses Byron's boundaries, and crimes are motivated by a desire for sex and romance.

What's worse is that there's a stereotype (both in fiction and in the public consciousness) of gay people being more sex-motivated and sexual than straight people are. Depicting Tristan as being more sexual, and more sexually motivated than his identical twin brother plays into this stereotype in an extremely damaging way.

Deliberately or not, it sends a bad message, and is a bad representation of gay men.

(on top of this, separate from the representation thing, it's just extremely unpleasant to read as a bisexual person)

However, instead of addressing any of this, your response was to point out, with a sequence of excerpts, what Tristan did wrong, as if he was a real person on trial?

Which, is like, those are well researched, well formatted points, but you aren't actually engaging with the argument being presented to you.

If anything, bringing up these other things that Tristan did wrong kind of proves melancholy's point... doesn't it?

I don't know. I do enjoy reading your ideas and analysis, and this ask isn't meant to be calling you out or anything like that, but I do think that there's a lot here (and in similar debates) that you're missing.

Let me counter argue this in your Magneto way:

Let’s say’s that there is a panel where Magneto is on trial for trying to murder a human. And the human is saying he needs to face justice for his attempted murder. A tumblr post says, “Wow, I can’t believe Marvel thinks that Magneto was wrong for fighting back against his oppressors!”

Now, let’s say that the panel was cut out of a larger strip* and we see that he was actually going to murder another mutant before the human pushed the both of them to safety (the mutant does not know he saved his life). And we learn that said mutant was and is prominent Mutant Rights activist, who was targeted by Magneto for associating with human allies pushing for their cause.

The panel is taken out of context of a particular scene so that Marvel is made to be promoting something that isn’t true. The reality is that Magneto is framed as wrong because he was being a murderous asshole, not for wanting mutant rights.

There is a BIG difference between “Hey, Wildbow is ignorant on tropes and needs to be more world weary before tackling such heavy topics” and “Wildbow is a massive homophobe and the text clearly points to him hating people who want gay sex!”

I agree with the former, but the latter is just dramatization and dishonest to be blunt.

[darklordgorblax]

Why does Mass Effect hate Gay Men?

So, I know I'm pretty late to the party, and plenty of people have said it better, but I've finally been getting around to playing the Mass Effect games, and I can't sleep until I get this out there. Also, apologies that I'm all over the place. It all just adds up, you know?

Disclaimer: There is a lot to really like about Mass Effect. This isn't a review, just an attempt to voice a frustration.

Where to start? I first played Mass Effect in ~2010. I was in college, and still very repressed pretending that homosexuality is totally a choice. Like most people, I imagine, I really appreciated the way that I could tailor Shepherd to my vision. He wasn't a blank slate self-insert, but had just enough flexibility that it was really easy to slip into that skin and imagine I was a badass commander out saving the galaxy.

Then the end happened and Ashley raped me. Obviously with Shepherd it was consensual, but for me identifying and connecting with Shepherd it felt deeply violating. I was leaning heavily into Paragon, and genuinely thought I was just being a good nice person. I had hardly ever spoken with Ashley, and I didn't think I had said anything particularly suggestive that was the direction I wanted to go. As a result I swore off everything Mass Effect for over a decade.

I've grown a lot since then. It's finally time to give it a fair shake. I still don't want any unpleasant surprises, so I did a bunch of research to figure out what I want to do about romance. Of course I ran into the same problem that every gay man playing Mass Effect runs into. Where are the m/m romance options? It's fine though. I decide I'm going to save myself for Gay Kaiden, and honestly it's very poignant. It's frustrating that it took 3 entire games to pay off, but even that worked into the character arc nicely.

So I played through the trilogy, hated the ending, but overall really appreciated the moments I got with Kaiden. It was pretty emotional for me too, just because it made me realize how much I needed that kind of representation. It was a catharsis to the trauma of being pushed into sleeping with Ashley a decade ago.

Moving on to Andromeda, there's still not nearly enough gay representation, but it's ok. I'm down with Gil. Then there was the scene that set off this spiral. Gil casually mentions that his only friend Jill gives him crap for being a gay genetic dead end. I tell him that's not cool, and he brushes it off. This is deeply uncomfortable, but maybe they salvage it. I have to know more.

End preamble, begin rant: Why does Mass Effect hate Gay Men?

What the ever living fuck. Gil's *entire* character ark is his "best friend" pressuring him into being her baby daddy. The first thing I had to know is who wrote this and are they gay. If they're gay themself, then maybe they're just speaking to personal experience that I happen to find distasteful and unrelatable. I couldn't find out much about the guy, but I suspect not.

So first - To straight writers writing gay characters: Just write them straight. Kaiden was written in such a way that it works either way, and it *works*. Yes, I want gay characters that deal with uniquely gay issues, but I don't trust you. To explore something as deeply personal and fraught as a gay man choosing whether or not to have children and how is not a plotline you just slap together. Just write them straight and then flip the pronouns and descriptors when appropriate.

But now I'm just gah! We've already established they're extremely lacking in the m/m romance options, but let's take a look. Gil and Cortez, the two exclusively gay men. Why are there no gay men party members? For fuck's sake! Every single exclusively gay (and lesbian?) romance option is confined to the ship. Just... I think you already know how fucked up that is, so I'm going to stop.

To move on to character arcs. I've seen people defend this, but frankly shove off. It's like these narratives' primary purpose is to make sure that everyone knows they're gay. It's show don't tell gone horribly, horribly wrong. You want to know how you show that a gay man is gay? Show them flirting with men. You don't need to consume the entire character arc showing how Cortez has a dead husband and Gil might not have children. I can cut Cortez some slack since dead spouse isn't a specifically gay arc, but even the way it's presented just puts way too much emphasis on the "husband" part.

But speaking of specifically gay character arcs... Maybe whether or not to have children isn't specifically to highlight that Gil is gay... Oh wait it totally is. This game is *loaded* with interspecies romances that will never have children. Why is the only relationship where this "problem" is highlighted the one for which it might be deeply traumatic?

I can't talk about interspecies romance without talking about the Asari. Perhaps it's the first problem, but for me it will have to be the last. I know it's been beaten to death, and scrutinized from every angle, but it's just so bad. In many ways the Asari are at the heart of the "Why does Mass Effect hate gay men" problem. A mono-gendered, naturally bisexual species that exists to fetishize lesbians for the benefit of a straight male audience. (Anyone who says they aren't technically female deserves to be punched in the face)

So with that I'll conclude: Bioware owes gay men big time for this travesty. Make a mono-gendered, naturally bisexual species that's coded as male. I dare you.

#mass effect #mshep #gay kaiden #kaiden alenko #gil brodie #representation matters #lgbtq #mass effect hates gay men