#the few other tweets i made besides this were plot-focused and they are. how do you say. boring. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bratkook · 3 years

Text

girls like you. (m) kth

‘swear to god she's a blessing and a curse, should’ve learned from you’

pairing. taehyung x reader genre. smut, some plot (not really) word count. 26k warnings. three separate smut scenes: masturbation in a public bathroom, handjob, exhibitionism on a bus, tae creeps on oc’s nudes, brief mentions of oc being a sex worker, dirty talk, messy sex, praising, grinding, pussy job, cum swallowing, overstimulation, forced orgasms, oral (m. receiving), fingering, begging, use of sex toys (hitachi), color system, use of safe word (yellow not red), crying, edging, choking, cockwarming, oc is very much straight forward and ‘in charge’ but def not a dom summary. girls like you were the ones he desired from afar. girls like you weren’t the girls you take home to mother. girls like you knew the power they had over a boy like him and fuck, did he love it. note. this is a reupload of an older story that i took down to be re-edited. it’s essentially pure filth with some plot and it’s mostly an excuse to write something where Taehyung is a little submissive compared to the reader. also 100% inspired by the song girls like u by blackbear. please let me know your thoughts on this thank u ilysm !!

The daily commute from his home to university was always long and boring to put it simply. The monotonous routine was something he could do with his eyes closed. It started the same every morning, waking up with sleep still heavy on his lids, grabbing a quick bite to eat from the convenience store by the bus stop, and waiting in the differing degrees of weather until the hunk of metal creeped up the street.

There was one plus to dragging himself out of bed at the ungodly hour of five am in order to catch the bus on time—really why did he ever think choosing morning classes was the way to go—regardless, the blessing came in the form of a near empty bus the second he stepped on.

Considering he was one of the first stops for this route, he’s lucky enough to always snag a seat. It's the same seat every time and he’s almost positive the regular riders knew this by now. Snagging a seat meant he could tuck his headphones in, rest his head against the window of the bus and pretend the way his head bounced back from the potholes wasn’t killing the last remaining brain cells he had.

What difference would a few brain cells be in the grand scheme of things? He couldn’t care less, always more focused on whatever was on his phone. The brightness was dimmed to an appropriate setting to not burn his dry eyes, strands of hair covering his face as he looked down at his lap, fingers scrolling robotically through his instagram feed and then switching over to his twitter.

It must have been a sign from god that made instagram crash that morning, causing an influx of annoying ‘is instagram down for anyone else or just me’ tweets that made him roll his eyes and choose to lock his phone and lift his head up from its permanent downcast position. He was getting a mean case of tech neck anyways, rolling his head and shoulders to release the awkward tension lingering in his muscles.

That’s when he noticed the eyes staring right at him. Had he looked up more often he would have known that those exact eyes had been watching him intently for weeks now, sitting and hoping he would eventually look up. He’s half expecting you to look away, embarrassed by being caught blatantly staring at him but instead, you tilted your head slightly and gave him a sly smirk, almost as if you’re taunting him to look away. And that’s exactly what he does, his eyes darting away and apparently his whole head wanted to follow, ramming against the window with a nice whack.

Great. Good going man.

He could feel his face burning with embarrassment, refusing to look up because he could just picture you laughing at him. Hell, maybe you were recording him with the purpose to post once instagram decided to get it’s shit together. With that in mind, it didn’t take much debating before he decided that repetitive tweets were more entertaining than making eye contact with you again, unlocking his phone and beginning the endless scrolling once more.

The long ride allowed him to eventually push his embarrassment aside, eyes lazily skimming the words on his screen, not digesting anything he’s reading. It’s not until the bus jolted forward at his stop that he took a chance and looked over at you quickly, noticing you were already up by the front, waltzing out of the doors before he could even get himself up from his seat.

A double take out the window confirmed that he was in fact at the university bus stop, hastily shoving his phone into his pocket and hurrying off the bus before the driver could get annoyed at his slow pace.

Your silhouette was slowly disappearing through the crowd of other students and he had to snap out of his small daze once he lost you entirely, shrugging his shoulders at the odd encounter before making his way towards his first class of the morning.

His university is pretty large, the amount of students here bordering on absurd and it’s the main reason he chose to take the bus to school instead of driving because the parking lot is literally hell on earth. With all that said, he still couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t seen you before this morning. Had you always taken that bus with him? Also, how long had you been staring at him? Maybe it was just today, but fuck, did that mean he had something weird on his face...or maybe his hair looked jacked up in order for you to just stare.

“You good?” The sound of Jungkook brought him out of the whirlwind of thoughts in his mind, coming to a screeching halt and settling back into the dust as he came back to reality. Once his eyes finally focused back in, he realized he’s been staring at some random girl a few seats down with a zombie like expression. No wonder she was now giving him a bizarre look.

“Fuck.” Too embarrassed to even attempt to apologize to his classmate, he averted his eyes and looked to his left where Jungkook sat, a concerned expression on his face as he took a giant bite out of his oversized breakfast burrito. “I’m good.”

Jungkook gave him a once over, narrowing his eyes as he chewed his food, a bit of egg lingering by his lip. “Bullshit.”

The look of disgust on Taehyung’s face was very evident, so Jungkook could only smile before taking yet another massive bite out of his burrito, making an absolute show of chewing the meal.

“You’re fucking disgusting.”

“Thanks.” Jungkook laughed, blowing his friend a kiss before properly chewing and taking a gulp of his water. “You sure you’re good Tae? You were staring into the fucking abyss or something earlier.”

From first glance he definitely looked like he was really thinking about some deep rooted issues. His body had been slightly hunched over his desk, eyes zoned out on that poor girl but his mind was elsewhere. An array of emotions had played out on his face, features contorted into different forms of distress as he had a mental conversation with himself. So when Jungkook walked in and saw him in that state he just had to make sure he was alright.

“I’m fine, just had a weird morning is all.”

The next morning started off the same as always. Taehyung only had two morning classes today so he stayed in his sweats and hoodie, stopping by the convenience store to grab something to eat before getting to his bus stop.

It was routine: his feet dragging along the sidewalk and coming to a halt beside the bench, mind still heavy with sleep, until a flash of a memory pops in so quickly it made him wince.

That’s when he was reminded about you.

You had left his mind after his first class yesterday, the stress of assignments taking over the part of his brain that was curious–and a little embarrassed–about your interaction. All that occupied his day was finishing that essay for his biology class, facetiming Jimin who needed help deciding between shirts before his date, and now the kimbap he currently had in his hand.

But as he sat at the bench waiting for the bus, the only thing repeating in his mind was him smacking his face against the glass so hard his brain rattled, and unfortunately, his breakfast didn’t seem as appetizing anymore.

When the familiar hunk of metal pulled up in front of him he couldn’t help the small feeling of nerves bubbling up in his stomach. He felt a little stupid, how one situation was making him overthink little things when for all he knew you’ve been riding the same bus for months.

He shuffled down the aisle after swiping his bus card, head staring at the floor because he was a little scared to look up and see you on the bus already. Thankfully his usual seat was unoccupied—the last row at the back right next to the right window—so he made a beeline right towards it.

Crinkling from his pockets filled the quiet bus as he finally settled into his seat, setting his backpack onto the floor right between his legs. Moving slowly in order to not draw attention, his hand reached in and pulled out the kimbap from his pocket, peeling it open and taking a bite off the corner. His eyes took a peek up, cautiously drifting over the few passengers on the bus with him and noticing that you weren’t on the bus yet.

Okay, my stop is before hers.

Taehyung’s body instantly relaxed into his seat, a small sigh leaving his lips. The creeping feeling of embarrassment faded away now, allowing him to fish his phone out of his pocket as he enjoyed his breakfast, fingers tapping as he scrolled and liked the occasional picture on instagram.

Considering it was a Wednesday morning all social media was pretty dead, so once he got to the end of everything, he locked his phone and just stared at the scenery blending together.

Before he could fully zone out, something made his nerves light up. A small burning sensation coming from his left and he had an inkling of what it could be. Carefully, he lifted his head away from against the window and let his eyes travel over to where he just knew you were sitting.

Yup. There you were. A few seats closer than last time, sat in one of the single seats facing the aisles, staring right at him. His eyes trailed down from yours and couldn’t help but stare at the small bit of cleavage you had showing in your low cut shirt. A gold charm was resting between your boobs, cursive letters spelling out what he could only assume was a nickname.

He only realized he was blatantly staring at your tits when the sudden movement of your hand coming up brought him out of his stupid fuckboy trance.

To be honest, he was expecting you to move your hand to lift your shirt up or flip him off, he wasn’t expecting you to tug your shirt down a bit further and lean over, placing your chin on the hand that was resting on your crossed leg. His wide eyes drifted up to your lips, seeing the gloss shining off of them, showcasing the little smirk you had on.

You were taunting him, seeing if he would look away this time or not, and surprisingly he hadn’t. He wasn’t looking at your boobs now though, his eyes were zoned in on your lips and the occasional pink bubble you would blow with your gum.

Deciding to take it a small step further, you leaned back a tiny bit and let your fingertips graze the top of your chest while maintaining your gaze on him. That was when his eyes shot down to your chest once more, seeing the heart outline tattoo on your pinky before quickly looking around the bus at the other riders who weren’t paying you any attention.

When he finally got the courage to look directly at your eyes you just gave him a wink before leaning all the way back in your seat and deciding you were done with whatever the hell that was, leaving Taehyung sitting in his seat, slightly sexually frustrated and a little confused at how something so simple could rile him up.

When the bus jolted to a stop in front of the university you hopped up from your seat and headed off to your class with a hop in your step, satisfied with your little game. Taehyung could simply watch with a dumbfounded expression, immediately standing up from his seat and awkwardly holding his bag in front of him to try to hide his junk as discreetly as he could.

This was embarrassing. Why was every encounter he’d had with you this far ended in him feeling embarrassed and you feeling accomplished?

Little did he know that’s how the majority of your encounters would go. The bus ride to school was now the leading cause of his blue balls and the highlight of your rather boring morning. He had now started to see you around school more often, whether that was because he was now looking out for you or purely coincidental, he wasn’t sure but he was certain you were taunting him. Especially with the outfits you would wear. They weren’t vastly inappropriate, but it seemed like every pair of shorts got a little shorter and every skirt a little tighter.

Obviously he knew he probably wasn’t the only dude who was on your radar, so it was a little self centered to assume you were doing this just to him, but it was definitely affecting him to the extent of his friends asking him what the hell was on his mind.

“Honestly dude, what’s your deal?”

“Hm?” he questioned, one hand on the lid of his coffee cup while his eyes stared at the table they were currently sitting around in the nearby coffee shop. Taehyung had been zoned out the entire time his friends had been talking about the upcoming party at Seokjin’s fraternity later this week. His mind just kept repeating the scene that unfolded on the bus earlier that morning with you, a skirt that was too short, and the way you let him catch a glance of your underwear when you accidentally opened your legs too wide when you went to cross them over.

“Like, what porn are you watching that constantly has you in a daze?”

“Yeah, send us a link or something!”

Taehyung frowned at his friends' comments, although they weren’t really too far off. He might not be thinking about porn exactly, but his thoughts were far from pure regarding you.

Jungkook was cackling obnoxiously as the rest of his friends cracked jokes about Taehyung being a porn addict, and honestly it was a shocker they hadn’t been asked to leave from the sheer volume coming from the group. Add the vulgar topic of porn to the mix and it was only a matter of minutes before the cute barista who had a huge crush on Yoongi would come over and shyly ask them to keep it down.

“Shut up,” Tae grumbled out, hand abandoning his coffee cup and aggressively rubbing his eyes. It was almost like he was trying to scrub the thought of you out of his mind like a dirty stain on his clothes.

Namjoon was the one who suddenly gasped like a child finding change on the floor. “Fuck, it’s not porn is it?”

That caused a couple of confused grunts to come from around him, choruses of ‘well if not porn then what’ and ‘no way don’t you see the difference in buffness between his arms he’s totally addicted to some weird shit.’

Taehyung sat up a little straighter, a small look of curiosity on his face as he glanced at Namjoon. Yes, his friend was the genius of the group in every sense of the word but he couldn’t have possibly figured it ou— “Who’s the girl you’ve been literally fantasizing over for weeks?”

Fuck.

Whoops and hollers were the next sound of choice from his immature friends, Hoseok going as far as violently shaking his shoulder while everyone teased him and that’s when Eunha finally walked over very timidly.

“Hey Yoongi.”

Yoongi glanced up at the sound of his name, his smile growing a little softer when he noticed who it was coming from. Everyone knew she had a crush on him—including Yoongi himself—so they always tried to be as nice as possible to her. “Hey Eunha.”

She tucked a piece of her short hair behind her ear, her eyes drifting to everyone around the table before landing back on Yoongi. “Sorry, my boss is just saying you guys are being a little too loud and I don’t want him to kick you guys out so,” she pressed her palms together gently. “Could you guys just bring it down a tiny bit?”

“Shit, yeah. Sorry about that. We’ll keep it down, thanks babe.” A small blush tinted her cheeks at the pet name and she was only able to mumble out a meek okay before she scurried off with a giant smile on her face.

All of them watched her round the corner and slip into the employee only backroom, smiles on all of their faces until the door swung shut, and then they were back to all eyes on Taehyung.

“So, who is she?” They all inched in a little closer at Jimin’s question, acting like fucking vultures, desperate for any bit of gossip Tae was willing to spill. They couldn’t be blamed though, they had witnessed their usual charismatic friend go from flirting with random girls and throwing jokes here and there to basically sitting in class in a weird zombie-like trance. But those were only the days where he had morning classes, so they just needed to find the connection between it all.

“Just some girl I ride the bus with to school.”

There was a beat of silence before Yoongi spoke up. “Okay, so ask her out?”

Now how was he supposed to come out and say that you and him had never really spoken, and he didn’t even know your name and you didn’t know his, and the only interactions you’ve had were very sexual in nature, but you’ve also never physically touched each other? He was stuck, only able to chew on his lips in thought, but luckily his friends took that as a cue to encourage him.

“Yeah man, ask her out or something! Especially if she’s got you this strung up.”

He wanted to laugh, really he did, but he also realized that he really didn’t have anything to lose when it came to approaching you. If he approached you and it didn’t go in his favor then he could just move on with his life. Pretty simple right?

That was how he found himself bolting up the second you did the next morning on the bus, standing a few feet behind you as the bus pulled up to the stop. You had chosen to simply stare at him every now and then during this particular morning, extremely PG compared to the other rides, so he thankfully didn’t have the majority of his blood rushing to his dick today. Because of this, he was hopeful he could actually say some words to you that didn’t make him seem like an asshole.

You stepped off the bus quickly, your heeled booties clicking against the steps and landing on the concrete smoothly, whereas his vans thumped the whole way down with a lot less grace in his haste, but he was able to catch up to you nonetheless.

He didn’t want to shout out your name because well, he didn’t actually know your full name aside from the cute charmed necklace you constantly wore, and what better way to garner more creepy points than to make it clear he stared at your tits. So he chose to jog up to you and place a hand on your shoulder, making your body come to a halt, but it was almost like you were expecting it with the half smile that graced your face.

“Hey, what’s your deal?”

Nice first words Taehyung.

You raised a brow at his remark, arms coming to cross under your chest as you watched him with clear amusement on your features. “My deal?” Your voice had him pausing momentarily, he was half expecting it to sound high and sweet but there was a slight edge to it, the sound a little lower in tone than he had mentally imagined.

“Uh yeah.” He let go of your shoulder and chose to fidget with the black beanie on his head instead, his palms going clammy. “You’ve been staring at me for weeks on the bus.”

You were staring at him intently, watching how nervous he was to even speak to you, not an ounce of shame on your face at being called out. The fact that he was even talking to you had caught you off guard. You weren’t really expecting him to ever say anything at this point since most men would have pounced for a chance to get a word in after the first time they had caught you staring at them.

“Does that bug you?”

“No!” He instantly shouted out, hands outstretched almost as if he was scared of offending you. “I just wanted to know why you…stare?”

You nodded along, your lips turning up at the corners slyly, tongue gently running along the bottom of your teeth as you smiled. “You’re nice to stare at.” His eyes widened at that and you couldn’t help but think how cute he looked in that moment. Why did he seem like he was so out of his element?

“And,” you started as you pulled a slip of paper and a pen out of your small side bag, quickly jotting something down before folding it in half. “I’ve just been thinking about how cute you’d look between my thighs for the past couple of weeks, so message me whenever you want.” You reached down and picked up the hand that was resting by his side, your fingers opening his palm and sliding the paper into it before closing it and just walking away without a second glance.

How could you just waltz away as if you hadn’t made him combust internally, calling him cute while slipping in a filthy thought. You hadn’t even cared to get his name before you admitted to wanting to sleep with him, and if this were a frat party and Taehyung was absolutely wasted that’s exactly how he would approach a girl too, but being on the receiving end made him a little unsure of himself.

The tiny folded paper in his palm was spread apart and that’s when he finally learned your actual name, along with your number which was written beside it in black ink and finished off with a heart.

He never got the courage to text you.

Well, not until he saw you on the bus the following morning with a damn lollipop in between your lips. The way you slowly trailed it up towards your lips was just asking for dirty thought to cross his mind.

That was exactly your reason for doing it though, this was like a game for you, he just didn’t realize it and that’s what enticed you to continue it, torturing him slightly since he had failed to reach out to you.

You let the green lollipop rest on your tongue momentarily before gliding it down and letting the tip of your tongue circle around it, seeing his eyes widen slightly at the provocative action.

Taehyung looked around at the lingering passengers to see if anyone was watching whatever this was going down but there was no audience, there never seemed to be one. The only passengers were gathered towards the front, all engrossed in their books or phones so they don’t see the way you swirl your tongue around the candy.

You clearly had the art of seduction down by how quickly he could feel his pants tightening but he couldn’t help it. His eyes were glued on your mouth, the way you were enjoying that stupid sucker was way too sexual and it didn’t help that your eyes were piercing into him. You knew exactly what you were doing to him. With how fixated his eyes were you could tell what thoughts were floating in his mind, especially by the way he shifted in his seat.

Taehyung was currently hating his life with all he had in him for wearing sweats, gray sweats to top it off. Those are surely going to show the nice outline of his half hard dick when he gets up.

He really should look away from you but every time he tried, flashes of you between his legs would entice him to keep staring. There has never been a moment where he felt more like a pervert than right now and he almost felt ashamed to be watching you. Almost.

This was just fun for you, you weren’t dwelling on this as much as Taehyung was. You only ever thought of him when you woke up for class and wondered how you were going to subtly torture him on the commute to school. You wanted to see how far you could take it before he reacted differently, whether that be him approaching you in person once more or finally shooting you a text.

Would he ever make a move on you? It was hard to tell considering he never reached out and what man would turn down an invite for casual sex if he was semi interested. Would he ever tell you to stop? You obviously would, but the way he denied being bothered by you giving him attention just led you to believe he was very much into it.

The subtle shift in his seat also showed you how much he was into the little show you had for him. He had pulled his phone out, tapping on a new message with your name being typed in.

Why are you doing this– he quickly deleted that, the little line flashing as it waited for the next words to be typed out.

Do you enjoy giving me random boners this early– nope delete that too.

The feeling of the bus coming to a stop made him lift his gaze from his phone and back to you, a small wink was shot in his direction before you were standing up and walking your way towards the front of the bus, your lollipop making your cheek bulge out as you let it rest on the side of your mouth. Taehyung just watched you standing there, one hand gripping the metal railing above you as the bus approached the stop. You gave one last glance over your shoulder to see if he had moved before you stepped off the bus, taking the sucker out of your mouth and giving him a wicked smirk before popping it back in and sauntering off to your first class of the day.

Taehyung once again had a boner pressing against the fabric of his pants and he couldn’t help the groan that left him because dammit, this was happening too often. He was tired of having to daydream about nasty shit to get it to go away while you just pranced off satisfied with how you left him.

He hesitated in his seat for a moment, debating whether he should hop off and head back home so he could calmly deal with the current situation in his pants or if he could suck it up and actually focus enough during his first class.

The bus driver looked at his rear mirror and gave him an irritated look, and with that his decision was made for him. Well a compromise actually, he wouldn’t be able to focus in class when all he was thinking about was your lips around his cock and the fact that you admitted to wanting to fuck him, but he also couldn’t leave school entirely because he had a test his next class and the bus ride back to his house and back to school was too troublesome to bother with.

So he was currently headed to the boys restroom in the building his first class was in, a little more pep in his step because he was finally going to fix one of the problems you caused. Did he feel a little shame in him? Yes. He did. But he was currently blocking that out entirely. All he was thinking about was how great the feeling of his hand around his dick was going to be, and that alone was enough to get him to walk just a little bit faster.

He entered the building and climbed up the stairs two at a time, clearly in a hurry but who could blame him. Luckily most classes were currently in session and if someone didn’t have a class they were usually lounging outside or getting coffee nearby so he knew the bathroom would be free of people, proven right when he swung the door open and saw no one inside.

Taehyung walked to the stall the furthest away from the door and deemed it worthy enough before stepping in and locking it behind him. He took a deep breath as he stared at the wall in front of him, having somewhat of a mental debate. Had he really gotten to this point where he had to resort to jacking off in a bathroom stall?

He let one of his palms rub down his face for a moment, but only a moment because he had a problem to fix and right now his throbbing dick was way more important than his morals. So he shrugged off his backpack and hung it behind him on the hook and slid his sweats down along with his boxers, the material bunching together around his thighs.

Taehyung shut his eyes, not being able to stare at the porcelain toilet in front of him as he wrapped his hand around his cock, the feeling making a shudder run up his back. A gentle tug started his motions, his shoulders dropping from finally feeling some sort of relief after the show you had put on for him. The way your pink lips were wet from sucking on your candy made it easy to picture you between his legs, your lips coated in saliva from giving him what he’s sure would be the best blowjob of his life, chin messy as you stuck your tongue out for him.

He could almost feel his hands in between your hair, tugging on your strands as you picked up the pace, so he mimicked it himself, stopping momentarily to spit into his palm to make the glide a little smoother.

Fuck, he really should have texted you, maybe then he wouldn’t be doing something as filthy as this. Maybe—no he definitely would know what this would feel like in real life, but his hand would just have to do.

A groan left his mouth as he tugged on his cock faster now, eyes squeezing shut as he pictured you sucking on the tip of it, your eyes looking up at him in the same piercing way they always did. He’d like to think that you’d deepthroat him, or tease him, maybe even edge him because you definitely liked to torture him. His mind was flipping through a million and one scenarios as his pace sped up, now hunched over the toilet, the hand that wasn’t pushing him over the edge of an orgasm pressed against the wall in front of him.

His hips started thrusting into his hand, joining in on the motion, a whine felt at the back of his throat begging to come out because of how desperate he felt for his release. The pent up frustration he had for himself, and how badly he wanted to fuck you, paired up with his thumb focusing on his tip every time he stroked up brought him to his orgasm. A choked groan left his mouth as his hips stuttered, his hand continuing to stroke himself rather quickly as ribbons of white shot into the toilet. His groans turned into soft whines as he kept up the pace, the tingles he felt on his dick from the oversensitivity felt too good for him to stop, he was way too desperate for this and it was disappointing that it was over. It wasn’t until his hips and stomach continued to twitch that he finally pulled his hand away from his softening dick.

Taehyung leaned his back against the door, feeling the material of his backpack against him as he slumped down. His forehead was sweaty and his chest was heaving from his orgasm but he was content with himself now, mind no longer whirling with thoughts of you and that damn lollipop. He grabbed toilet paper and cleaned himself up before wiping down the toilet seat as clean as he could and flushing the evidence down the toilet.

He secured the strings to his sweatpants once again and stepped out of the stall, standing a little taller, glancing from side to side and letting out a breath of relief that no one was occupying the urinals or stalls. After washing his hands he stepped back out into the halls of his university and headed down the stairs to go sit in the quad to wait for his next class.

You were going to be the death of him. How was it that you had this much power over him and were so unaffected by it? He needed to do something about this, so he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Taehyung ignored the notifications on his screen from his friends and opened up a new message, typing in your name before staring at the blank thread waiting to be filled.

Taehyung 9:40am : I hope you’re happy with the problem you gave me.

Was that the best message to send? Probably not, but he wasn’t letting himself think about it too much before the spark of courage left him so he tapped send and immediately backed out of the message, choosing to pretend to occupy his mind by reading the texts he got from Jungkook. The typical ‘are you dead’ texts he would send him if he ever missed class, along with a random text from Namjoon asking if he’d made a move on the mystery girl yet.

Taehyung jumped so hard his phone almost fell out of his grasp when it buzzed with a new text from you. His fingers couldn’t move fast enough to open the notification but his smile dropped instantly when he saw your response.

Y/N 9:51am : Who is this?

How should he respond to this? Were you joking?

His lips were pursed as he stared at his screen, waiting to see the three little dots indicating that you were still typing, maybe saying it was a joke but they never popped up so Taehyung decided to be rational and realize that he literally never gave you his name.

Taehyung 9:53am : It’s Taehyung.

Stupid. You wouldn’t know who that was so he went back and started typing another response only stopping when another one of your messages popped up.

Y/N 9:54am :???

Taehyung 9:55am : Boy on bus

He left the messages open, staring at the screen and grinning to himself when he saw the notification pop up under his text, letting him know you had read the message. But when you never replied as the minutes went on, he started to feel a little dejected, so he locked his phone and shoved it deep into his pocket as he tried to go about the rest of his day.

Taehyung liked to think he was a very easy going guy, someone who doesn’t let little things get to him, but that was just him lying to himself. He was relatively chill about 70 percent of the time, but that remaining 30 percent? Oh boy, that was the over thinking, over analyzing, Taehyung.

“Are you okay?” Solji, the girl who sat next to him in his environmental science class asked him. They hardly ever spoke unless they were exchanging notes for upcoming quizzes, but with the way his face currently looked she just had to make sure he wasn’t going through something serious. She tried once more but when he didn’t answer she just shrugged and decided it wasn’t her business.

He had his brows furrowed so deeply there was a small little indent in between them, his eyes focused on the corner of his desk while his mind was trying to think of every reason you hadn’t responded. You could have lost your phone, or better yet maybe somebody had snatched it from you the very second you had read his message. Or maybe, your phone—or his—glitched and you never got the message at all.

Little did he know you were currently sitting in your economics class, tucked away in the back corner with your phone in your hand as the professor lectured with the projector screen on in the dark room. You were purposely ignoring Taehyung’s message, turning your read receipts on just to torture him further.

He had finally messaged you and unfortunately it was not with a invitation to fuck. It did however paint a smile on your face because you knew he was very affected by you from the message he sent.

All you wanted was for him to be more forward. You knew he had jacked off at school, he had to, so why couldn’t he just go ahead and say that. Spice shit up a little and talk about what he was thinking about when he did it. It’s the little things really.

You clicked back onto his thread in your messages, choosing now to respond to him. Your fingernails lightly clicked on your screen as you typed out a response and snickered before hitting send.

Y/N 11:37am : Oh? okay.

Taehyung felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and his heart stopped, eyes widening to the point where poor Solji was once again concerned about his well being. She was gonna ask him one more time if he was okay but his sudden movement had her flinching back and avoiding eye contact as he shoved his hands into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

Oh fuck she responded. He thought to himself as he unlocked his phone to see the notification, he opened the thread and read the message, scrolling up and back down almost as if he was trying to refresh the page for more of the message to load because there was no way in fucking hell that’s all you sent him.

But it was. That much was made very clear after a few minutes passed and you didn’t send anything else.

It was almost like Taehyung’s mind was on autopilot. He had finished his test minutes prior, so he shoved his pencil and extra scantron into his backpack before he stood up and practically stomped his way out of the classroom.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t handle the mystery that was you. It would be very easy for him to just text back and get to know you but this was the 30 percent, over thinking, over analyzing, not chill Taehyung, and that was just not the way he did things.

Not chill Taehyung decided it was appropriate to bail out on his current class as well as bail out on the plans his friends had all made after classes. He decided it was perfectly fine to hop his merry self onto the bus and head on home. The plan was not very thought out, at all, but as he rode the bus home he just knew he would have to do some lurking to find something about you.

While he was doing that driving his mind into the gutter, you were leaving your current class, heading out to meet your friends for a late lunch.

You had your phone held in your hand, almost hoping Taehyung would text back with something a little exciting, but he didn’t. That was fine by you though, he was right in assuming he wasn’t the only guy on your radar and although something about him made you want to pounce on him, if he wasn’t going to act on it then you weren’t going to dwell on it.

“Alright girls so what’s the plan for tomorrow night?” Hani spoke up, rubbing her hands together evilly.

“Be a child of god and go to sleep on time because I have a test the following day.” A chorus of boos followed all around, Sunmi even going as far as tossing a crumpled up napkin at Chungha who only rolled her eyes.

“C’mon Chungha. Just come out for a little bit,” you pleaded, grabbing her hands in yours and giving her the saddest puppy eyes you could muster.

“Ahh, no! You always do this Y/N!” she whined, throwing her head back in frustration. “But fine, only for two hours and I can’t get wasted.”

The three of you cheered obnoxiously, knowing very well that she would end up as trashed as all of you were, but that was a problem for tomorrow night. A problem for tonight however just occurred in the form of a notification on your phone.

You stared at it curiously, it was a notification from your blog that you used on occasion so you opened it up and smirked at what you discovered.

Not chill Taehyung had obviously gone home and did his lurking on you. Nowadays it really wasn’t hard to find anything on anyone considering how open people were on their socials so Taehyung was able to find your instagram with ease, especially now that he had your phone number.

He had scrolled through your feed carefully, seeing group photos with your girlfriends at parties, and an abundance of slightly suggestive selfies. There was one thing that was clear, you definitely had confidence in your body and he admired that.

Instagram only showed him a glimpse of your life and it wasn’t enough for him. Considering Taehyung had an account for every social media made, he knew you probably did too. So he took to a generic search, and even a reverse image search because he was so desperate it was pathetic. But it worked, because one certain photo you had uploaded on your instagram of you in a bikini with your face cut off was also uploaded onto a blog online.

At first glance he assumed it was just a generic porn blog that had reposted your photo, but upon further scrolling he noticed all the photos on there were of the same girl. You.

His first instinct was to exit out of the site and act like he never found it, feeling slightly creepy at what his lurking had uncovered. But the curiosity was eating him alive, so he continued to scroll, seeing simple photos of you in lingerie; never revealing your face or anything else besides your ass and boobs. Along with that were some questions you would answer and with that he gathered that you had quite a bit of fans online.

There was one photo in particular that really caught his attention. The image was a little low quality, showing you with a black heart choker on and a stringy caged bralette that let your boobs pop out, your fingers slicked with something he could only imagine as they pinched your pebbled nipples. The heart outline tattoo on your pinky is what confirmed that it was in fact you in that photo, and that was enough for him to click the heart button on the bottom right to save into his likes for later.

What he didn’t know was that you checked your activity quite often. He also didn’t know that his blog, unlike yours, was not anonymous and had a stupid selfie of him as the icon.

So as he sat in his room and jerked off while thinking about you for the second time that day, you sat in the restaurant and giggled to yourself a little every time he liked a new photo, letting you know exactly what he was up to.

“Are you on that money pile blog of yours again?” Sunmi asked as she chewed on a chunk of butter soaked bread.

“Yes,” you responded simply, taking a sip of your drink and smiling when your friends cheered you on.

“How much have you made with it?” Hani asked curiously, pulling her shirt's neckline out to inspect her boobs.

You thought about it for a moment; you started that blog to help you pay for school and have some left over for yourself and with luck on your side, it took off pretty quickly. While you did post provocative pictures online, they were all pretty timid in nature, so it was only a matter of time before you started getting messages of people interested in purchasing personal pictures or videos.

There were quite a few older men willing to send you hundreds of dollars for simple photos or videos, but the majority of your buyers were people around your age who chose to purchase access to your private account for a monthly fee. It was always funny to you how some of these people went to your school and either had no idea it was you, or chose to pretend they didn’t know you.

“Enough to pay off my tuition this semester and put some away.”

Chungha nodded to herself, thinking it was impressive. “Get your coin girl.”

The following morning Taehyung hopped onto the bus with a feeling of guilt settling into the pit of his stomach, a nasty churning sensation that had plagued him in his sleep. It made him forgo his usual kimbap breakfast, afraid he’d hurl it up the second he made eye contact with you on this ride and the last thing he needed was another embarrassing moment to add to the list.

He shouldn’t have touched himself to those photos that you hadn’t sent to him exclusively, and he definitely shouldn’t have saved them in his likes. Sure they were on a public domain, but still, it made him feel wrong.

He slid into his seat of choice and shoved his earbuds in, drowning out the small hum that filled the vehicle. Taehyung was so focused on trying to fry out the memory of your boobs from his mind by blasting music that he hadn’t noticed the bus stop and the sound of chunky platforms making their way up the aisle.

You sat down a few rows closer than normal, analyzing him for a moment; his dark hair was covering his eyes partially, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his grey windbreaker, and his jean clad legs bouncing rapidly made it so clear he was nervous.

Perfect.

A smile graced your lips as you slipped your phone out, opening up the thread you had with Taehyung, with your very uninterested message being the last thing you had sent him. It’s almost as if the tiny devil on his shoulder called his attention, convincing him to peer over, almost jumping in his seat when he realized you were on the bus and a lot closer than before.

When he saw your attention on your phone instead of him for once, he couldn’t help but think that maybe you had lost interest in this little game. Maybe he had taken it a bit too far and knowing he had jacked off at school to the thought of you had turned you off.

That is until his phone buzzed in his pocket. Sharp eyes darting up and locking onto his right after, a knowing smirk on your face as you raised your hand and waved your fingers at him.

Y/N 8:09am : Hi bus boy.

Oh god.

Why was he so fucking nervous to talk to you god dammit. His eyes drifted back over to you, seeing you still staring at him, your head tilted in curiosity at why he still hadn’t responded.

With slightly trembling hands he begins to type out a response.

Taehyung 8:11am : Hey bu—

His fingers stop when a new message slides up on the screen.

Y/N 8:11am : Thanks for liking my pictures on my blog.

Y/N 8:11am : Saving them for later?

His stomach drops, mind playing a nice little montage of him scrolling through your blog and pressing that damn heart button as fast as he could. How could he be so stupid in thinking he was being discreet?

Taehyung 8:13am : Fuck im so sorry

He couldn’t look back up, his eyes focused on the three dots indicating your typing. It seemed endless. Were you gonna send him a giant paragraph calling him a pig or some other insult, tell him you had blocked his IP address and would be filing a restraining order on him?

Y/N 8:16am : No, it’s my pleasure.

He stared at the text in mild shock, the kissy face emoji at the end taunting him. Were you fucking with him? It honestly seemed like it considering you had hopped up off your seat and walked off the bus, your hips swaying in the small skirt you wore which only taunted him some more.

Taehyung let out a groan as he rubbed his palms into his face in frustration. What the hell was his deal? He felt like a prepubescent boy who had never spoken to a girl let alone slept with one. Maybe he was losing his edge. Regardless, he was done suffering through this alone so he was going to suck up his pride and seek out the help of his friends.

That was how he found himself once again sitting around the table in the small cafe they all frequented. The six of his friends gave him intent stares at he finished off his story, “And my dumbass didn’t think to maybe not like the pictures for later and she sent me this text the next morning.” He paused to slide his phone into the middle of the table with the message thread lighting up the screen, “And now I don’t know what the hell to do.”

Yoongi pressed his lips together as he shook his head, fingers adjusting the olive green beanie that he had on. “You’re a dumbass.”

Taehyung gave him a shocked expression, the wrinkles in his forehead only deepening when he saw the rest of the guys nodding along in agreement. “What the fuck?”

“What?” Yoongi spoke in a monotone, his eyes playfully narrowing at his friend, taunting him to try to defend himself.

“How am I a dumbass?”

Jungkook rubbed his hands together momentarily, looking around at the others to see if they were gonna speak up or if he was gonna have to be the one to do it. “Look dude,” he started off when he realized no one was gonna put Tae out of his misery. “You have this girl throwing herself at you, straight up telling you she wants to fuck you, and instead of acting on it you chose to jack off to the thought of her?”

Now that someone had said it outloud Taehyung did feel a bit stupid.

This was so out of character for him, he was the kind of guy who hit on girls at frat parties and didn’t bother getting more information besides their name before he was taking them upstairs, and now that you were giving him that treatment, he didn’t know what to do.

“Not only are you stupid for not sleeping with her, but who the hell lurks and gets caught? What a rookie mistake!” Hoseok hollers out, causing Jimin and Namjoon to laugh along with him, and Taehyung could only feel his face redden in embarrassment.

Jin had Tae’s phone in his hand, scrolling through the extremely underwhelming messages you two had sent each other when suddenly, it dinged and a new image popped up at the bottom. “Oh wow!”

That caught everyone's attention, all of them leaning over to try to get a glimpse at whatever Jin had seen but he had already locked the phone, the screen turning black and blocking the guys from seeing the teasing picture you had sent Taehyung out of boredom.

“Aw c’mon, what was it?” Jimin whined, staring at the still locked phone that was now in Taehyung’s hands, hands itching to grab the device.

Taehyung sighed. Did he even want to know?

One glance from Jin told him he sure as hell should, so he dimmed the brightness of his phone before he unlocked it to open up your message. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes made out the image, almost causing him to choke on his spit and make a bigger fool out of himself in front of his friends.

There, sitting all nice and pretty in your thread of messages, was a photo of your thighs spread open, your fingers lifting up the tiny skirt you had on today to reveal a small sliver of the black lace panties you had on. Very suggestive, clearly intent to tease him.

‘Just for you’, was the only message you had written underneath, no indication that you would send anything else. Taehyung could only stare at the photo in awe, eyes trailing down the smooth skin of your thighs, desperately wanting to zoom in, but he knew his friends would only clown him further. It was pretty timid in nature but still just as sexy.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned out, locking his phone and letting his head fall onto the wooden table like deadweight. No one had any reaction to the rattle of the table, simply stabilizing their drinks as they observed their friend having what appears to be a mental breakdown.

“What did she send him?” Yoongi whispered to Jin.

“Something mildly NSFW.”

At that, Yoongi reached over and jostled his whole body with force. “Get the fuck up you imbecile. Respond to her!”

“What am I supposed to say?” Tae slurred, cheek smushed against the table and muffling his words.

“Fucking anything is better than the silent treatment dude. Like she just took time out of her day to send you something. You gotta at least tell her she looks hot, or that you like the picture.” Jungkook rolled his eyes like it was the most obvious response, and honestly it was, this was sexting 101.

“You’re right, I guess.” Taehyung lifted himself back up and unlocked his phone once more, staring at the screen with a distraught expression. “The fuck do I say though?”

Hoseok hummed in thought, tapping his chin as he stared at the lid of his cup. “Depends, what kinda photo was it? Full nude or like a tease?”

“A tease.”

“Oh! Tell her something like, she’s gonna be the death of you, or something along those lines. I’m sure she hears she’s hot all the time, so that's too basic.” Jimin speaks up proudly, his smile widening when Taehyung nods and begins typing out a response with slightly shaky fingers and hits send.

The little sound of the message being sent causes the whole group to let out a sigh of relief, slumping back into their seats and taking sips of their drinks.

“Who knew we’d have to resort to coaching Kim Taehyung on how to sext.” Namjoon snorts, earning a couple of laughs in return, and Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh too because honestly how ridiculous.

The conversation flows easily once Jungkook starts talking, everyone momentarily forgetting about Taehyung’s situation, which he was grateful for. The current topic at hand was the party that Jungkook and Hoseok were having in a few days at their new apartment, but his attention was taken away from that when he shockingly received another text from you.

Y/N 7:36pm :Now we can’t have you dying on me.

Y/N 7:36pm : In the mood for some drinks? A couple of friends and I are going out tonight.

Y/N 7:37pm : You should come.

He stared at his phone in thought. Fuck, he wanted to go so bad, but because he had spent all day yesterday jerking off to the thought of you he had procrastinated an assignment that was due tonight. Not chill Taehyung was going to be his downfall.

Taehyung 7:40pm : I wish I could, I have a deadline at 11

Taehyung 7:40pm : Next time?

On the other side of the screen, you were laying in bed in the same outfit you had on earlier, fingers playing with the hem of your skirt as you read his response, a small smile on your face.

In all honesty you weren’t even expecting him to respond to your photo anyways, so this caught you off guard.

Y/N 7:42pm : I’m holding you to that bus boy.

So as you went out with your friends, throwing back shots and dancing your life away to the song playing at the club you guys loved, Taehyung sat at home typing out a bullshit paper as his phone watched your instagram story from time to time.

By the time he was calling it a night after he turned in his assignment you were still posting videos of your friends dancing and pouring drinks into your mouth straight from the bottle. You clearly knew how to have a good time and he couldn’t help but feel a tiny twinge of regret at not going out when you had invited him to.

That same regret seeps into the following morning, rewatching your stories and imagining how much fun he would have had if he decided to forget his assignments and go out with you. It’s safe to say that he was honestly not expecting you to hop on at your usual stop, mainly because he knew from your posts that you didn’t call it a night until 4am and it was currently 7:20am. So, when he saw you step on the bus, he was slightly shocked.

The regular attire he was used to was missing, normally styled hair now up in a messy bun, a thick pair of shades on, and an oversized flannel barely hanging over your shoulder. It was very obvious that you had just rolled out of bed.

His reaction time was a little slow, but when he saw you continue down the aisle and getting closer to him, he tensed up and held his breath, not releasing it even as you took it upon yourself to sit down right next to him. The two of you being the only passengers at the back of the bus.

“Hi,” you spoke out, turning to look at him as he tried his best to just face forward. A sweet smile passed between you when he finally turned towards you and gave you a small hello in greeting.

That satisfies you, so you wiggle in your seat to get comfy, your hands pulling out a book from your bag and starting to read it to pass the time. Taehyung visibly relaxes at that, happy that your attention was on the book instead of him because he wasn’t sure if he could make it through a conversation this early without embarrassing himself.

You take note of his relaxed frame, his head resting against the window and one earbud in his ear playing some song you couldn’t quite make out. That was when you decided to make your move, your eyes still trained on your book as you let your right hand trail up onto his thigh, letting it rest there for a moment to gauge his reaction.

His thigh tenses instantly at the sensation. “You can tell me to stop and I will,” you whisper, your hand already retreating. You knew he was attracted to you but you weren’t gonna do something to him if he was uncomfortable.

Taehyung sits there for a moment, having an internal debate, because fuck does he want you to touch him, but he’s also on public transportation and he’s not sure what the fine is for public indecency. The inner debate is splayed on his features, but in the end the pros outweigh the cons, so he reaches out and grabs your hand, placing it higher up on his thigh.

“No, keep going.”

It was genuine curiosity to see how far you would actually go, and when you told him to put his backpack over his thighs he knew you were being serious. He listened to your instructions and waited with baited breath as he felt your fingertips trail around his crotch, ghost touches sending a small shiver down his spine.

His dick was already twitching in his pants and you had barely even touched him. Your fingers tugged on the string of his black track suits and slipped behind the waistband of them, trailing down his skin and feeling his stomach twitch at the contact. You settled with palming him over his boxers, hearing Taehyung let out a small grunt at the feeling, his dick slowly hardening under your touch.

He was very responsive to your touch, thighs tensing up as he tried to fight back the urge to buck his hips for more friction and it fueled your excitement.

Considering this was a risky move, you decided to stop torturing him with teasing touches and finally slid your hand past the material of his boxers, wasting no time in wrapping your hand around his thick cock.

Taehyung could feel the blood pumping in his ears as he dropped his head forward with a choked gasp, resting his forehead on the seat in front of him because he knew he wouldn’t be able to disguise his facial expressions if anyone were to look back.

Every jerk of your hand made his breath hitch. Your hands felt like magic, pulling up to twist around the swollen head and gathering his precum before coming back down. God, he wanted to rip his pants down so he wouldn’t feel so confined.

In the perfect display of nonchalance, you still had the book in your left hand, eyes cast down on the page as if your right hand wasn’t focused on his sensitive tip with determination to make him break down. On occasion, you would glance over and smile to yourself at his facial expression, seeing how his eyes were screwed shut as his forehead rested on the seat, alternating between chewing on his bottom lip or just licking his lips and leaving his mouth open as he tried to suppress the moans he wanted to let out.

“Fuck.” The first crack to his exterior had him finally mumbling out as you picked up the pace, his eyes opening up and looking over at you for a moment, needing to solidify that he wasn’t imagining this. There would be nothing worse than coming face to face with his bed sheets as he awoke from a dream instead of you actually getting him off.

But there you were, looking so at peace, staring at him with an innocent smile like you weren’t about to make him cum in his pants embarrassingly quick. “You close?”

He let out a small whine as he nodded, finally losing the final bit of self control and bucking his hips to meet your hand, hearing the small thump of your palm against his skin. “Cum for me. I wanna feel you make a mess.”

With eyes sparkling with mischief, you tightened your grip on him as you sped up, your bottom lip being chewed on by your teeth while you watched him come undone. His eyebrows were furrowed, a small frown on his face as he opened his mouth in a silent moan, something you desperately wished you could hear. Harsh pants of breath fanned across the back of the seat as he groaned, fingers gripping the material of his backpack to stop himself from digging his nails into his palm as he neared his release. With a few more pumps, his whole body tensed up as he finally came, stomach twitching while you milked his orgasm.

Taehyung vision blanks for a moment while aftershocks filled his body, dots of light flickering across his eyes until it all came back, and as he realized you were staring at him in awe he could have sworn he was gonna cum again. Your hand was still slowly pumping him, feeling his dick twitch at the overstimulation but he couldn’t get himself to tell you to stop, enjoying the small ache of sensitivity too much.

It wasn’t until he started to softly grunt at the pleasure that turned painful that you pulled your hand out of his pants, content smile spread across your lips. Taehyung sat there limp, his body feeling like absolute jello, thighs still shaking from his climax. He can already imagine how unsteady his legs will be once it's time to get off the bus.

You stared at your hand, eyeing the small milky beads of cum on your fingers and you didn’t think twice before popping them in your mouth and sucking on them as you stared right at him. “That was fun. Thanks bus boy.”

He watched in a daze as you stuffed the book back into your bag and got up from your seat, giving him a wide smile while you walked up to the front of the bus. It was only then that he realized both of you had arrived at your college, the boring commute speeding by thanks to your antics. With a spared glance at the displeased bus driver, Taehyung shot up from his seat, cringing at his still sensitive dick and the uncomfortable sticky feeling in his pants.

You were absolutely going to be the death of him

Taehyung was weak, bottom-of-the-food-chain, top tier simp material for you. All it took was one handjob for him to be stuck on you, constantly waiting for any form of interaction you would give him. It was pure infatuation—and a little pathetic—but he wasn’t sure how he felt about you. It was like his brain was torn between trying to get to know you in a more personal way, or just going with the flow and fucking you like you had originally offered. It just made him feel more confused, and a little naive, because it was so clear that you had no romantic feelings for him.

This experience had filled Taehyung with a small sense of guilt, he now knew how the girls he treated this way felt. The constant stringing along and nonchalant carefree aura he would have when he would hook up with girls who clearly wanted more, it was fucking frustrating being on the receiving end and even more frustrating because he knew if he really wanted it to stop all he had to do was ask.

But Taehyung couldn’t get himself to ask you to stop. You had a grasp on him, and you did it so easily, which is why when he didn’t see you on the bus the following day he felt his heart drop a little.

Sure, he hadn’t noticed you prior but considering it had been a few weeks of constant contact in one form or another, he just found it a little odd now. His hand was twitching with the urge to send you a text and ask if you were feeling okay but he stopped himself in fear of sounding like a clingy mess.

“Any progress on the mystery babe?” Jungkook asked as they waited in line at the fast food joint near school.

Taehyung smirked a little at that, memories of yesterday's random handjob coming back to mind. “Sort of.”

Jungkook scoffed, “Sort of? Dude c’mon, just shoot her a text and tell her you wanna hang out, or be blunt and ask her to fuck.”

In retrospect that would be the typical route Taehyung would take, but there was something about you being so in control of this dynamic that had him so unsure of himself. “Look man, she’s different.”

“Oh no—“ And immediately Taehyung knew how that had come out. “Do not say you like her. You barely know her.”

He raised his hands in front of him, “No! Not like that Kook! I just mean that I don’t know how to act.” He let out a sigh, feeling annoyed with himself with this entire situation. “I hope I don’t sound like a total douchebag saying this, but I’m used to girls who let me take charge in situations you know?”

Jungkook nodded, staring at his friend as he spoke, “Girls that basically follow me around and let me decide if I wanna keep them around—and I hate how I sound speaking like that—but it’s the only way I can explain it.” He let out another defeated sigh, definitely something that had become a common form of expression for him. “She doesn’t do that shit, and I don’t know how to act like myself because of it.”

The younger man nodded again, knowing exactly what he meant. “I knew a girl like that, honestly the best two months of my life. Look dude, if she's making it clear that she doesn’t want anything serious then what's the dilemma? She’s confident in herself and you shouldn’t feel intimidated by that.”

Taehyung hummed at that, he was right as Jungkook continued, “And who knows, maybe she’ll help you realize that chains and whips excite you.”

And there was typical Jeon Jungkook. “I fucking hate you.”

Jungkook let out a cackle before turning his attention to the poor cashier who unfortunately had to hear the end of his statement. As he ordered for himself and Taehyung, the latter felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He was half expecting it to be a message from Hoseok asking him some dumb question, so when he saw your name on his screen he thought he was hallucinating.

Y/N 12:17pm : Hope you didn’t miss me too much today

Y/N 12:17pm : Come to this

Y/N 12:17pm : You promised me next time bus boy

Attached to the messages was a photo of a party flyer he was very familiar with. It was the silly flyer Jungkook had spent around 5 minutes making to promote their party tomorrow night, and the fact that you had come across it either meant it really got around or you had a mutual friend.

He looked up momentarily as Jungkook tapped him, motioning for him to follow to an empty table as they waited for the food. Taehyung blindly walked behind him, eyes downcast on his screen as he typed a response.

Taehyung 12:19pm : I’ll be there

Your response was instant and it caught him off guard because you usually lagged on messages.

Y/N 12:19pm : I’ll be waiting

But it seemed like Taehyung would be the one waiting. He was standing at the corner of the living room with a drink in his hand and his phone in the other, waiting for you to text him as his eyes scanned the current room.

Jungkook stood beside him, animatedly talking to a cute girl who had grabbed his interest, too busy to notice his friend eyeing the room like a hawk. Taehyung wanted to wander off and find someone for himself, but the idea that you would eventually be here kept him glued to one spot.

It was nearing midnight and people were already making messes of themselves, passed out on the couch and some even on the front lawn. Jungkook and Hoseok’s new place was more spacious than their last, but it was definitely overcrowding so people were coming in and out frequently from the front to the backyard to get some fresh air.

“I'm gonna go get another drink.” He told Jungkook, who waved him off and continued his conversation while Taehyung made his way to the kitchen.

He used the same cup he had in his hand and filled it up with vodka and cranberry juice, his favorite drink of choice right next to drinking it straight. Then suddenly, it was like a magnet forced him to look up and over his shoulder, and that's when he spotted you and your group of friends.

You all walked in with big smiles on your faces, one of your friends walking over to Hoseok and giving him a hug, and that's who he assumed the mutual friend was. Your hair was flipped over your shoulder as you played with it with your hands, small crop top showing just enough cleavage and your stomach, and Taehyung could just feel himself staring.

That's when your eyes met his, and they glinted with something he couldn’t pinpoint. Your target had been acquired, and as he saw you making your way over to him he choked a bit on his drink.

“Bus boy.” Was all you told him, a smile on your face as you easily slipped beside him against the counter, elbows resting casually on the cool surface as you leaned back.

“Hey...bus girl.” he awkwardly responded, feeling like an idiot immediately after. You only giggled, your fingers wrapping around his own on the cup as you brought it from its place against Tae’s mouth over to your own for a sip.

“Mm, vodka cranberry?” You licked your lips, and his eyes were glued on them. “How’d you know that's my drink of choice?”

“Lucky guess?” He slowly responded back, gently taking the cup back from your grasp when you handed it over, his eyes glancing at the sticky residue your gloss left on the rim of the cup.

You were analyzing him, watching him standing there with an aura of unsureness around him. You see, you knew of Taehyung, had a couple of friends who had hooked up with him, and this is not what they described him as. They always told you he was assertive, the first to make a move and once he had he was aggressive in bed in the best way. That’s why he had caught your attention, you wanted to see how hard it would be to crack him, break him down until he was begging and pleading since he was so used to taking charge. The possibility of having him on his knees, holding on to your every word, made this sick sense of pleasure creep up your spine.

Taehyung was handsome, that wasn’t up for debate, but you could see him biting his lips almost like he had a million things he wanted to say to you but was afraid they wouldn’t come out right. Cracking him might be easier than you thought.

“Did I miss all the fun?” The question hung in the air for a moment as flashes from the night played through his head. Jungkook kicking out some dude for trying to piss in the kitchen sink, Hoseok doing a line of who knows what off some girls boobs and her boyfriend trying to fight him, among a plethora of incidents in the span of a few hours.

“No, definitely not. The night is still young.”

You only stared at him, waiting for his eyes to finally look at yours instead of pretending like he didn't notice you. And finally, they did, narrowing a bit in suspicion as he wondered what you were thinking in your head.

“So,” you began, confidently grabbing his drink again. “Have you taken my offer into consideration?”

He was so focused seeing your tongue lick your lips to catch the remaining moisture of the drink that he almost didn't hear your question. “I’m sorry, what offer?”

A small laugh left your lips at his question. “You really forgot already?” You only gave him a moment of silence before you continued, “The offer that involves you fucking me, or are you turning it down?”

Taehyung froze, taking in your facial expression before answering. Your mouth held the same sinfully evil smirk it always had, head tilted slightly as you handed his drink back to him and shot him a wink before you sauntered off towards your friends who had watched the entire exchange go down.

They instantly tugged your wrist and yanked you towards the sliding doors that lead to the backyard where a game of beer pong was going down. Chungha was all giggles, not being able to believe the new person of interest in your eyes was Kim Taehyung.

Taehyung on the other hand just let his eyes follow your body until the sliding door was shut once more. He had taken too long to respond to your question, his mind had been shouting at him to just blurt out that yes, he had taken your offer into consideration and he one hundred percent wanted to fuck you. Too bad his mouth decided to sew itself shut.

He took another swig of his drink, swallowing harshly with a bit of determination set on his mind. By the end of the night he had to make a move on you, that much was for sure. He was tired of you always having the upper hand with every interaction you had. This party was his element for fucks sake, he was a seasoned pro when it came to sleeping with random girls at house parties. The only difference this time was that none of them had come on to him as boldly as you had, but that wasn’t a problem at all.

Jungkook slapped a palm on his shoulder, making his drink slosh in the cup and catching him by surprise. When Tae looked away from the sliding door and over to his left, he could see Jungkook was also looking in the same direction with a knowing smile on his face. “Oh man, she’s trouble.”

Tae’s eyebrows wrinkled in confusion. “Wait, who?”

“Y/N, man. Who else?” He released his grip on the older one's shoulder, taking a sip of the beer in his other hand while he nodded his head in thought.

Taehyung was clearly out of the loop here, “How do you know her?” He mentally sorted through the girls he had seen Jungkook with in the past, even trying hard to remember any girls he had mentioned in passing and you had never come up.

Jungkook took another drink of his beer, wondering how to go about this carefully. He could be honest with Tae and tell him he had met you last semester at a club that was popular with the students at the university. How you had been the absolute best sex of his life for two steady months, and then suddenly dropped him without a care in the world—which would have absolutely crushed Jungkook if he let himself get attached but he hadn’t, he swore he hadn’t. He was kinda shocked and very amused that you had chosen his best friend as your new target, even if it was purely coincidental.

In the end, he decided being honest wasn’t necessary. “It’s not important, just know she’s pure trouble in the best way. Is she the bus girl you always talk about?”

That answer didn’t satisfy Tae but he was too busy thinking about how to make a move on you to dive deeper. “Yeah, she is.”

Jungkook nodded, hearing Jimin calling him from somewhere in the house with a very slurred voice. “Well, I hope you’re planning on making a move on her tonight or I’ll let all the guys know what a pussy you are.” He jostled Tae’s shoulders once more with a hearty laugh before running off towards Jimin who was surely drunk as fuck.

Outside of the house stood you and your friends, surrounding the beer pong game going on between Yoongi and Seulgi. Your eyes were peering behind you, staring through the glass doors as you watched Jungkook speaking to Taehyung for a brief moment. You smiled to yourself, knowing the small mess you might be causing between friends but not caring enough to stop it.

“This winning shot is for you gorgeous!” Yoongi shouted out, blowing a sloppy kiss out towards Sunmi before tossing the ping pong ball haphazardly towards the last remaining cup and somehow making it in.

“That winning shot made me lose!” Sunmi erupted in laughter while everyone cheered at the end of the game. Seulgi rolled her eyes with a playful smile before chugging the last cup and walking back to your group.

“I don’t know how that fucker beat me considering his blood alcohol content should have his ass in a coma.”

You laughed, throwing your arm over her shoulder and tugging her closer to you. “It’s because Sunmi told him that she’d give him her number if he got the winning cup. I guess desperation makes boys a little more sober.”

“Pigs.” She grumbled with a laugh, watching as Sunmi and Yoongi exchanged information, both of them looking like flustered children with blushing cheeks. “Anyways, are you gonna torture that poor boy inside all night?”

“Hm,” you hummed to yourself. “Is it really torture if I gave him a way in?”

“Oh please Y/N, has any boy ever taken to your advances that quickly? You’re intimidating as fuck, in the sexiest way possible. He’s probably not used to girls telling him shit like that so he doesn’t know what to do.”

“Yeah, but Yuna told me he was blunt as fuck with her when they slept together.” Your eyes peered back inside, no longer being able to see Taehyung.

“Yuna? Kang Yuna?” You nodded, looking up at Seulgi and seeing a look of disbelief on her face, “Dude, she’s the most timid, shy, submissive girl I’ve ever met. Guys eat that shit up. That’s what guys like Taehyung are used to. You spicing it up has him second guessing everything, so I say you keep it up. Be two steps ahead of him.”

You knew she was right, even though this was an exciting game of cat and mouse for you, you'd be lying if you said you weren’t slightly interested in him for more than just a one night stand.

“You gonna play?” Chunga popped in beside you, a grin on her face as she held a white ping pong ball in her hands. You smiled back and gave her a nod, letting her tug you towards the table being set up.

Yoongi stood wobbling on the other side, claiming to want to hold on to his winning title but the boy was clearly close to passing out from the amount of alcohol in his system. That was when another boy stood beside him, his frame towering over Yoongi’s and a charming smile on his plump lips as he tried to coax Yoongi into going inside to drink some water.

Chungha hummed in approval as she took his appearance in. “Wow he’s...”

“Yummy?”

She snorted out, “Oh yeah, definitely yummy.”

Yoongi was bickering with said yummy boy until Sunmi approached him again and put on her best flirtatious look to get him to follow her inside the house. He was done for after that, handing his friend the ball in his hand with a lazy wave, his half lidded eyes trailing down Sunmi’s body as she dragged him behind her. He probably thought he would be getting laid tonight but Sunmi was in mom mode, so unless he was ready to down a gallon of water and sober up, the only thing he would be doing is going straight to sleep.

“Hey, yummy guy, are you playing or not?”

He looked startled by the nickname, his hand coming up to point at his chest in confusion. When you and Chungha gave him a look that said yeah you his mouth opened up slightly before he was smiling again. “Yummy? Wow, can’t say I’m opposed to being called that.” He started to laugh at that and Chungha sighed at the sound, yup she was a sucker.

“I don’t have a partner to play against you two.”

You stepped back from the table with a shrug. “Don’t mind me, he’s all yours Chungha.”

They instantly started chatting with each other, playful threats and possible bets being made for whoever lost this game, but you weren’t planning on staying to watch this go down. The friends you had left on the sidelines watched you saunter away and they knew exactly where you were headed.

You wandered inside the crowded home and let your eyes scan the room, the kitchen was immediately to the left of you, a group of boys huddled around the alcohol as they made drinks, but no sign of Taehyung. Grabbing the lone vodka bottle from the counter, you took a quick swig before you resumed your hunt, ignoring the nasty burn to your throat.

A few more steps inside towards the living room didn’t reveal him either, too many bodies moving together to some random beat playing through the speakers placed around. There was a hallway to the left and another to the right, you chose to go towards the right side, side stepping random cups left on the floor.

A few voices were at the end of the hall, coming out of the only open door so you continued near them, desperate to see a familiar face until you came to a stop in front of the bathroom. You rested your shoulder against the door frame, seeing Jungkook leaning over his friend’s hunched form as he clung to the toilet bowl. Although this was a familiar face, he was not the one you were searching for.

As if sensing your presence, he looked up and over at you, a gentle smile gracing his face when he saw it was you. “You got the invite I see.”

You smiled back at him. “I did. So did the rest of my friends, you know, from Hoseok.” The drunken friend on the floor dry heaved for a moment, making Jungkook look back down at them and pat their back.

“He’s probably on the front lawn smoking by the way.” He spoke again, not needing you to explain who you were looking for, and you were grateful because you weren’t in the mood to play dumb.

You pushed off the door frame and stepped back, hearing him shout out a sarcastic ‘I know you miss me’ as you walked away. “Save it Jeon!” You playfully shouted back. You knew he missed you, he had told you plenty of times ever since you decided to stop sleeping with him.

Of course Jeon Jungkook had been a good fuck, having been one of your favorite switches. Very true to his reputation, he could fuck you all night long with no issues, bringing you to orgasm enough times until you were crying for him to stop, while also letting you tie him up until he was the one begging—but he’d gotten attached.

He could deny it all he wanted, but you sensed the change instantly. It creeped up in moments where he’d ask you to spend the night instead of leaving after hooking up, seeping into him asking you to hang out in day to day life instead of just 3am booty calls. And that just wasn’t something you were interested in having at the time. It wasn’t a jab at Jungkook, he was a nice guy if you were being honest, but that was old news.

So as the music blasted in the house, sounding muffled to your ears, you walked with a purpose, weaving in between people as you crossed the living room and reached the front door.

The fresh air met you the second you pushed the door open, loud bass spilling out of the house and into the front lawn, dimly lit up by the porch light. It allowed you to instantly spot Taehyung, a barely lit blunt between his fingers as he spoke to a taller boy beside him. At the sound of the door opening they both looked over in your direction, the taller one offering you a smile while Taehyung took a drag and gave you a nervous wave.

You weren’t going to bother talking to him out here, he turned into a deer caught in headlights whenever you did so you just walked over to him, plucked the blunt from between his fingers and handed it to his friend before wrapping your hand around his wrist and dragging him behind you. The two of you needed to be alone, not around drunk party goers, or both of your nosey friends.

Taehyung didn’t resist at all, looking over at Namjoon and seeing his friend had a shit eating grin on his face as he got dragged inside. You clearly had a mission, shoving your way through the sea of bodies again as you trekked to the opposite hallway this time, going for the only room on this side of the house.

The bedroom door got thrown open and thankfully no one was inside of it. Taehyung slammed the door shut behind him and locked it as you turned to face him, inches separating you and you let out a soft breath at the close proximity. “Do you want this?”

His mind fogged over briefly as he watched your fingers playing with the hem of your shirt, slowly inching it up to reveal more skin. “Yes, I do.”

Those were the words to set it all in motion, hands yanking your shift off your body and tossing it aside, leaving you standing in your bra for him to ogle at.

“Better than the photos huh?” you tease with a honey-sweet voice, reminding him of his deep dive onto your blog while your hands slid behind your back to unhook your bra and let it completely slide off.

Taehyung couldn’t help but stare as your hands came up to give your boobs a squeeze. “Fuck.”

He stepped forward, wanting to finally touch you but you tsk in disapproval, shaking your finger at him and it just made him pout. Isn’t that what you wanted from him?

His breath hitched in his throat when you stepped even closer, tips of your fingers trailing from his shoulders to his chest, down to the hem, bunching the fabric in your grasp as you tugged it up and off of him. His arms raised up with no protest as you undressed him, wide eyes just watching your every move, ready to do whatever you asked of him. It was so out of character for him, but that much could be said about every interaction he’s had with you so he goes with the flow of it all.

Goosebumps rose up on his tan skin as you trailed your hands down to play with the button on his jeans, fiddling with it to tease him. You wanted to cover his chest and stomach in hickeys, marking every inch of him up, bruising and teasing him until he was pleading for you to suck his cock. There was just something about him that made you want to see him flushed and desperate.

He could see you lost in thought as you stared at his body, now hyper aware of the fact that he wasn’t absolutely ripped, but you liked that. His arms came up again in an attempt to pull you in to kiss you, but you stopped him once more, finally snapping out of your daze.

“Do you deserve to touch me?” His mind blanked at your tone, the slight edge he had heard the first time you spoke was back, and something about it made his body tingle. “Hm?” you hummed when he remained quiet.

That glint in your eye returned and his head shook without him realizing, no he didn’t deserve to touch you.

“Take it all off and lay on the bed,” you spoke sternly, the smirk on your face growing when he did as you said. His body hunched over and stumbled as he stripped out of his pants and boxers, his shoes and socks long gone beside them. Taehyung followed instructions and laid on the bed, feeling a little guilty that poor Hoseok’s bed would be defiled like this, but when you slid off your own pants and underwear he couldn’t find himself to care anymore.

His cock was already hard and twitching as it laid against his stomach, and he could feel the small pool of precum gathering under his belly button, leaving a sticky mess on his skin. You hadn’t even touched him and he was this riled up already, terrified he would cum the second you decided to touch him, so his hand came to grasp the base of his cock and gave it a firm squeeze.

That action wasn’t lost on you as you slowly approached him, your knees resting on the mattress while you shuffled towards his body. Your fingertips trailed up his thighs softly, going around his cock and up his chest where your nails lightly grazed his nipple. His body shuddered at the touch, and the way your teeth sunk into your bottom lip at the reaction made him nervous.

You swung your leg over his waist, hovering above his skin but not making contact just yet. Taehyung had never been patient, his eagerness getting the best of him, and just as his hands rose up—about to touch your hips and force you to plop down on his cock—your own hands reacted, grasping his before he could touch you and bringing them above his head, successfully catching him off guard.

“You said you don’t deserve to touch me.”

His eyes widened in realization, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of a way to take back the words that he said earlier. Fuck, he wanted to touch you, he could see your pussy hovering inches over his cock, and he bet he could slide right into you from how wet you looked, already picturing the feeling of your warmth as he sunk into you.

Your hands grasped both of his wrists, leaving his arms pinned above his head as your other hand reached down, and he held his breath. There was a brief moment where he thought you’d show him mercy, hoping you were going to grab his dick from between your bodies, but when he saw your index and middle fingers part your lower lips he let a groan escape him. You trailed them up your slit and back down to circle around your entrance with a quiet hum, bringing your fingers back up in front of Taehyung’s eyes, watching him stare at them in awe as you separated them and your slick strung across from them.

“It’s a shame.” Your eyes trailed up to his hands again, seeing them clenched together in your grasp. “I’d love to have your hands inside me, but maybe next time.”

“No,” he croaked out, hips desperately lifting up in hopes of grinding into your pussy but he fell short. “Please, let me touch you.”

The begging satisfied the sick itch you were hoping to scratch, leaving you grinning above him. You had just started, yet his eyebrows were already furrowed, eyes locked in a trance on your fingers that were still in front of his face.

“Not today, baby. Do you want a taste though?” He was nodding the second the proposal left your mouth. Taehyung licked his lips in desperation, mouth opening up as you brought them towards his lips, his neck craning forward and wrapping his lips around your fingers to taste the remnants of your arousal. His tongue flicked between your fingers as he sucked like his life depended on it, the urgency displayed had more wetness gushing out of you, and when Taehyung’s eyes darted towards his abdomen, he saw that some of it had dripped onto the skin below where you hovered.

You pulled your fingers out of his mouth and brought them back between your legs to tease yourself further. “Fuck, this could’ve been you doing this to me Taehyung.” You gasped out as your fingers flicked over your clit repeatedly and he whimpered, head falling back to rest on the pillows because he couldn’t take watching you get yourself off above him while his dick lay hard and leaking right below you.

You snickered to yourself, finally deciding to take some pity on the man, reaching below you to grasp his cock. His neck tensed up at the action, head whipping back up to make sure he wasn’t imaging anything. But there you were, small hands barely wrapping around his thick cock as you gave it a gentle tug. Your fingers were covered in your slick, making the glide feel delicious, spreading your arousal around his length and mixing with his own in a sinful combination.

Taehyung’s chest heaved slightly as you picked up your pace, your fingers coming up to play with his pink tip before going back down quickly, hands set to tease him. He was trying to stop himself from moaning, you already had his arms restrained, he didn't want to give you this much power over him, but when your hands came down to fondle his balls he couldn’t hold back the needy whine that left him. The desperation behind him just made your pussy clench, and you really wish he could fuck you, but you weren’t going to let him get his way this easily, not when he hadn’t worked for it.

“Keep your hands there.” You spoke firmly as you released your grasp on them, smirking at his obedience when his fingers chose to wrap around the poles of the headboard behind him instead. He wasn’t sure what you were going to do, but he was hoping your next move would be sinking onto his cock.

“Wait,” he spoke up as you placed both your hands on his chest. “I don’t have a condom,” he admitted, face scrunching up when he saw you freeze in your action of dropping down on top of him.

“Oh,” you cooed, left hand coming up to cup his cheek tenderly. “Don’t worry about that.” His heart was torn because although he loved going without a condom, he didn’t know you enough to trust continuing without one. “You’re not fucking me.”

And now his heart was shredded, thrown into a dumpster, and set on fire. “What?”

Your fingers traced his cheek softly as you smiled at him. “Only good boys get to fuck me and you—“ you patted his skin in a gentle, yet firm, slap. “—haven’t been good.”

A pout forms on his lips because now he’s desperate, and also confused. Why would you strip out of all your clothes just to tease him like this? Were you going to finish yourself off on top of him and just leave? He wasn’t entirely against that scenario because he’s sure it would be hot as fuck, but his dick was literally throbbing.

He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t notice you had shuffled down a bit and rested your dripping pussy right on top of his cock, your lips parting slightly as you rocked your hips forward. And then he was gasping, his hands detaching from the headboard and instinctively wanting to grab your hips, but they stopped an inch or so away, catching his own mistake. His fingers remained trembling in the air, a moan finally leaving his lips at the feeling of you grinding on his cock, the relief of you not leaving him high and dry taking over.

Keeping your palms on his chest, you used them as leverage to help you move, a wicked smile on your face when you saw the internal debate he was having. He could touch you if he really wanted to, he could say fuck your rules and grip your hips so hard they’d bruise, but he didn’t. He listened to you, his shaking hands retreating back to the headboard with a groan of restraint.

“Good boy,” you spoke softly, his cock twitching at the praise. He liked this, the foreign feeling of being pliant underneath you, letting you call all of the shots, it was igniting a warmth inside of him that he never expected.

Taehyung could feel his stomach becoming a sticky mess from his precum and your wetness dripping down from his cock, but he didn’t care, he loved when it was messy, loved hearing the squelching sound filling the room every time you rocked your hips. The fact that you were this drenched from teasing him just turned him on more, and he really wanted to say fuck it and ask you to sink onto his cock, but you told him to be a good boy so that’s what he would do.

“Feel good?”

“S-so good,” he whined out, breathy and strained, almost as if he didn’t want to admit to it.

His thighs were tense and aching, forcing himself to not thrust forward in fear that you’d stop what you were doing, small moans leaving his lips when the tip of his cock would brush against your clit. He looked fucked out underneath you, eyes blown open as he locked onto the spot between you two, watching his messy cock peek out between your legs when you’d grind your hips back.

Taehyung had never cum from doing this, it was something he had never tried before; he was used to the quickness of fucking at parties, some fingering being involved before he slid in from behind. But he could feel himself edging closer to his release embarrassingly fast, the sinful moans leaving your mouth only aiding in pushing him over faster.

You had a good rhythm going, his cock trapped between his stomach and your pussy, and even though he was trying his best not to be vocal, you could see he was close to falling apart. His hands were clenching the headboard so hard they were paling, and if that wasn’t enough of an indication his face surely said it all.

Leaning over his body, you let your face inch closer to his as you sped up your hips. At your proximity Taehyung finally spoke up, “Can I-fuc—” he shuddered, “—can I please kiss you?”

Your eyebrow cocked up at his request, not expecting that to be what he wanted from you. “You want to kiss me?”

Taehyung's dark hair bounced on his head as he nodded frantically. “Yes,” he gasped out, squirming underneath you as you bucked harder on top of him.

He wanted to kiss you, your lips looked so soft and shiny, and he wanted to feel them on top of his. Honestly what he really wanted was to flip you over and fuck you senseless—he had the power to—the weight of you on him was nothing he couldn’t overpower, but something about you being in control of his pleasure was doing things to him.

When your hair grazed his chest from you dropping down, his heart skipped but your lips chose to kiss his neck instead, small traces and licks on his skin as you trailed up towards his jaw until finally you reached his lips. They were tacky from your lip gloss but he didn’t care, they felt as soft as he imagined, and when you snuck your tongue into the mix Taehyung whimpered into your mouth. His eyes fluttered shut at the feeling, pleasure rolling over him in waves that only intensified when you wrapped your lips around his tongue and sucked.

You could feel his body tensing up from underneath you, his climax creeping up on him, so you rocked faster, sinking your teeth into his plump bottom lip and tugging back. That was the final push before he was cumming, face screwed up the same way it was on the bus and a rough groan that you swallowed with another kiss.

Fuck, he was beautiful.

Another moan spilled out as you continued your movements, feeling his cum splashing up towards his chest from the force, some of it dribbling down his cock and settling onto your pussy. “Wow,” you mused, lips pulling back from his and looking down to see the mess he had made, his breathing continuing to shudder until you came to a stop.

Taehyung kept his grip on the headboard, a lot more limp than before, vision hazy from his orgasm and entire body tingling. You lifted up from him and shuffled further down, licking the trail of cum on his stomach with a grin when you noticed how his sensitive cock twitched at the visual.

Trying to save face, he turned his head into his upper arm to shield himself, the small burn of embarrassment felt at the fact that he had just blown his load from you grinding on him in record time.

You weren’t finished with him yet though, your body still slowly sliding down him, fingers leaving feather-like touches on his skin that he mistook as you soothing his shuddering body, until they grasped his cock.

“Oh,” he winced, feeling your fingers grazing his sensitive dick, your mouth quickly enveloping it, making his back arch from the sudden sensation. It was no secret that Taehyung had a love for overstimulation, constantly toeing the line between pain and pleasure when he continued to jack off after cumming, but your warm mouth was new.

His sore fingers released the headboard, elbows straightening up because he had to watch this, had to burn this point of view into his mind forever. You were crouched at the bottom of the bed on your knees, ass up in the air as you swallowed his cock, your tongue swirling around it when you felt it start to harden again.

“H-hurts,” he admitted with his hips twitching, not sure if he wanted to thrust into your mouth or back away. Your hands rested on his hips to stop them from moving as his dick slipped out of your mouth with a pop.

“You want me to stop?” One hand was lazily jerking him as you spoke, his dick twitching in your grasp once more.

No, no he was loving this. The pleasure was sharp but it was spreading a warmth throughout his body. Could he cum again?

He was clearly having a hard time deciding if he wanted you to stop or not, the wrinkles on his forehead deepening as he moaned softly, but Taehyung liked the pain, you could tell.

When your mouth took him in again he gasped lewdly, his elbows giving out and letting him flop back on the bed with a thump, fingers gripping the crumpled sheets beneath him. “No, no,” he whimpered again when you hollowed your cheeks and sucked. “Don’t stop, god.”

He could feel you smirking around his cock, your tongue coming out to flick the tip of his dick, red and swollen and once again dripping. One of your hands wrapped around the part you couldn’t reach, squeezing and tugging in time with your mouth; the other was dipped between your own thighs, fingers sinking into your cunt and thrusting them to match your motions.

Taehyung had his hands gripping onto the bed sheets to stop them from tangling into your hair and forcing you to take all of him, but his head peeked up, and when he saw you playing with yourself he sat back up, hips finally coming up to thrust into your mouth. Whimpers of pain and pleasure filled the room, the muscles in his neck pulled taut as he felt pressure start to bloom in his lower stomach.

He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle having another orgasm, every time he’d hit the back of your throat he felt the wind get knocked out of him, knees acting on reflex and shooting up to try to squirm away from your grasp.

The want to scold him was strong but you were getting closer to cumming, and seeing him losing control only made you moan around his cock. You pulled your fingers out of yourself, and with a few more flicks on your clit you were cumming. Taehyung watched in awe as your hips stuttered, and the moan you let out just urged him to keep thrusting into your mouth.

His fingers were sore from the grip he had on the sheets and when he saw the drool leaking out of your mouth as you sunk all the way down, he finally felt the band snap, a throaty moan leaving his lips as he bowed his back into the mattress, the pain and pleasure blending together beautifully and bringing him to one of the best orgasms of his life. This load was a lot smaller than the last, but he was completely spent now, body lying limp on the bed as he tried to catch his breath.

Swallowing the cum on your tongue with a smirk, you took him in your mouth once more to tease, pulling back and placing a gentle kiss on the tip of his soft cock.

“Such a good boy.” You teased as you made your way back up to him with a genuine smile on your face. Your soft lips pressed against his again, mouth opening up and he could taste himself on your tongue but he didn’t mind it. With a little hesitance, his hand came up to finally touch you, fingers tangling into your hair as he deepened the kiss, your teeth clashing together a few times because he couldn’t get enough.

He watched as you pulled back from him, your tongue tracing your lips while you flipped your hair behind you again. “You know, you’re pretty when you cum.” And he doesn’t know why, but the statement made him blush. No one had ever told him he looked pretty when he came.

“Thank you?”

You giggled, still on top of him. “You’re welcome. I’ll be thinking of it when I touch myself later.” You gave him another quick peck before you got off of him and started putting your clothes back on. Taehyung was in a state of shock as he observed you, he had cum twice and still hadn’t fucked you, and you were very clearly getting a kick out of it.

A final adjustment was done to your skirt before running your fingers through your hair, looking back at him still limp on his friend's bed, limbs resembling jello. It was cute, but you knew you had to trail him along further so you shot him a wink, opening up the bedroom door and waltzing out like you hadn’t just ruined him.

The haze that surrounded him whenever you were around him faded as you left and Taehyung sprung into action with a yelp, wrapping Hoseok's comforter around his naked body when he saw that you left the door open. Luckily no one was around, but he still rushed up with the sheets to close the door, legs feeling a little wobbly. With the door securely locked, he rested his weight against it, letting Hoseok’s ruined sheets fall from his body into a heap on the floor, his hand coming up to run through his messy hair.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he groaned in disbelief, balling up the sheets and stuffing them into the small hamper by the closet, they barely fit but it didn’t matter. Taehyung felt lost and a little unsatisfied, he knew he wouldn’t be able to feel completely satisfied until he actually fucked you. All he had to do was say it, you were dangling it right in front of him and he was too tongue tied to tell you how he actually felt. It was like all vocabulary and sense of communication was wiped clean whenever you were within a certain radius of him.

He slid back into his clothes, grabbing the tissues Hoseok conveniently had next to his bed, and wiped the small residue that was still on his stomach before he put his shirt back on. When his heart stopped pounding and he thought he was decent, he exited the room. Taehyung was set on finding you and speaking to you like a normal human being, his mind now cleared after those orgasms, so he felt sort of confident that he’d be able to get out a coherent sentence without sounding like an insecure loser.

Jungkook spotted him as he emerged from the hallway, his bunny smile spreading across his face when he saw how disheveled his friend looked, and considering he had seen you exit from that same spot minutes prior he knew what had gone down.

“Hey buddy.” Jungkook cooed obnoxiously, hands coming up to squeeze Taehyung's cheek, his fingers rubbing off the leftover residue of your lipgloss from his skin. He was drunk, breath smelling like vodka and his eyes glazed over, the classic dopey Jungkook smile on his face. Taehyung swatted his hands away from him with a grimace but Jungkook just slid beside him, slinging his arm across his shoulders and dragging him to the kitchen to get even more alcohol.

“So you fucked her right?” Taehyung accepted the drink, taking a sip as his eyes searched the room for you just like they had earlier.

“Sure,” he responded, not wanting to tell his friend that although you were both naked on top of each other and you had forced two orgasms out of him, he had not in fact been able to slide his dick inside of you.

Jungkook was too drunk to comprehend that sure didn’t exactly mean yes so he whooped, throwing his arms in the air with a laugh, and Taehyung couldn’t help but smile at his younger friend.

“Have you seen her by the way?”

Jungkook thought back to when he spotted you leaving Hoseok’s room, you had a look of satisfaction on your face as you walked through the house and headed for the backyard. You emerged back out with one of your friends beside you and you both laughed as you made a swift exit out of Jungkook’s house entirely. It was pretty obvious you wouldn’t be coming back.

“She definitely left.”

Taehyung could feel his heart sink at that. He should’ve spoken to you when you were both alone in the room instead of lying there in his post orgasmic glow. Too late.

He slid his phone out and decided he had to text you. The black line flickered on his phone, taunting him, waiting for him to type anything out, but he was stuck. What was he supposed to say? Thanks for the orgasms with a stupid emoji tacked at the end?

Taehyung 1:48am : You left so fast, get home safe

That’s what he settled on, and his eyes stayed glued on the phone when he saw the notification that you read it, three dots popping up as you typed a response back.

Y/N 1:52am : Sorry friend needed to get home and I was her ride.

Y/N 1:52am : Think about me tonight yeah? Goodnight busboy.

Taehyung thought about you alright. He thought about you often, frequently replaying the events that had happened that night as his fist wrapped around his cock on those nights where he was beyond desperate to cum.

The both of you hadn’t spoken much since the night of Hoseok and Jungkook’s party, due to the fact that finals were approaching and as much as you enjoyed this game you had with him, you also knew you needed to pass the classes you had. Taehyung doesn’t fault you for that, he was on the same boat, and if you had continued to tease him on the bus or through text message while he was already on the verge of a mental breakdown, he wasn’t sure he could survive it.

So it came as no surprise that when the semester came and went, the communication was once again severed, no longer having the morning commute to share together as winter break started.

Taehyung still thought of you often, every time you uploaded something onto your social media he stared at it for a minute too long, fingers urging to send you a message and start a conversation; but considering everything that had transpired between you two had been purely sexual he wasn’t sure a ‘haha funny meme’ message was going to get him very far.

When the second week of break rolled around and Taehyung started to go out with his friends, you began to slip his mind, the small acceptance of whatever you two had going fizzling away from his thoughts. He wondered if you forgot about him already, maybe you were home visiting family and had your sights set on another person.

With that thought engraved in his mind he allowed himself to go out with Jimin and Namjoon on a Saturday night, the three of them being the few of his friends that lived in the city and weren’t going home to their family for the holidays. They stood by the bar of some club closer to Jimin’s apartment, deeper into the city, a place Jimin swore the hottest girls frequented and when Taehyung scoped the crowd he took notice that Jimin was right.

It only took two shots to loosen him up enough to ease onto the dance floor, and only a few more minutes until a pretty redhead spotted him and made her way over, her hands trailing up onto his shoulder as she moved her hips in time with his. He smirked down at her, her eyes gleaming up at him while her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, she’s definitely his usual type. The way she gripped onto him when he slid his thigh in between her legs, how she easily gave in to the way he kissed his way into her mouth, eager to let him have his way with her. It’s no shock that he found himself tucked away in a corner of the club, letting her hands roam his chest as she latched her lips onto his neck while he dipped his hands under the hem of her skirt to play with her covered slit. It’s messy and he’s the one leading the way, it's familiar for him, but he can’t stop the small craving inside of him for something else, something different.

She whimpered into his mouth, not at all shy about being out in the open, and he can feel his cock throbbing at the thought of another girl that isn’t you for the first time—and you must have a sixth sense—there's no other explanation for him besides that when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

The nameless redhead whined at the loss of contact when he pulled his hand back to grab his phone, but he shushed her with a kiss, telling her he needed a minute. And that's all the convincing she needed to continue sucking hickeys into his neck.

When his phone lit up and he saw your name on his lock screen he blanked, eyes roaming behind him when he looked back to check if maybe you were here and that's why you were texting him. But when he unlocked the phone and saw the message you sent, it was oh so obvious that you were definitely not at the club.

The revelation of the photo you had sent catches him so off guard, he almost drops his phone, the device slipping through his fingers until he reacts and slammed it against his chest so hard to not let it clatter to the ground. The action winded him, the sharp pain of his phone wacking his chest had him wincing and it got the girl's attention.

Leaning back as her curious eyes peeked up to stare at him, instead she found herself staring at his chest, her face oddly lit up. The realization settled within him now, noticing that he must have flipped the phone over when he caught it and she was now clearly looking at the photo of you naked. The jaw dropping nudes you had sent, showcasing your boobs with your fingers on your nipple, wet with your arousal; and the second photo of your pussy on display had taken his breath away, but all it got him was a glare and a shove to his chest from the red head, muttering out that he was a pig as she pushed her way back to her friends.

He gulped as he flipped the phone around and analyzed the photo, a deep groan leaving him, because god dammit he had just started to come to terms that whatever you had was old news. You were always keeping him on his toes, it was going to fuck with his heart and his health.

Taehyung turned around and squinted through the flashing lights to hopefully find his friends, spotting Namjoon with a drink in one hand, his other clutching onto a blonde as they danced together, and he made his way over to him.

“I’m gonna head out,” he mumbled into Namjoon’s ear, ignoring the confused glance he gave him. The clear translation being: what the hell.

“We just got here.”

Taehyung knew this but he can’t hang around here with the thrumming bass and dance with other girls when you had just sent him these fucking photos. “Yeah, I don’t feel so hot. Don’t worry, I’m gonna take an uber just let Jimin know.”

Namjoon could only nod, not really wanting to separate himself from the cute girl he had grown fond of, but he would be forcing Taehyung to come out with them again next week. He just watched as his friend slipped through the crowd of the club until he stepped out.

When the cold air hit him Taehyung gulped it down, hands pressing against his face as he sighed and walked towards the brickwall on the side of the club. He couldn’t do this anymore, and with the alcohol numbing his common sense he didn’t think twice as he pulled his phone back out and opened up your message again, rechecking that you had in fact sent him those photos. And when he saw that you had, obscene photos still filling up his screen, he clicked the phone button and gave you a call.

He swore you weren’t going to answer him as the ring droned out, but when it cut off and all he heard is silence, he held his breath, wide eyes focusing on the cars driving on the street in front of him.

“Hi.”

Oh fuck.

“Why are you doing this to me?” He spoke out so softly, pleading into the phone as he grabbed a chunk of his hair in between his fingers.

“Would you rather I didn’t?” you hummed, phone pressed against your shoulder and ear as you lazily trailed a finger up and down your stomach.

“No!” he shouted, wincing when he saw other club goers give him an odd look. “No, but why me? We haven’t even spoken lately.”

“We’re speaking right now.”

He remained silent, not knowing how to respond to you, but he keeps the phone pressed against his ear, the soft sound of you breathing being the only noise he hears—until there's a small moan. It makes his blood run cold, eyes slipping shut as he imagined why you had made that noise.

“What are you doing?” He finds himself getting the courage to ask, enjoying the small laugh you let out as you admitted to touching yourself, so nonchalant and carefree about the fact that you were still the leading cause to his blue balls.

Taehyung was slightly tipsy, his mind whirling as he pictured your fingers sinking into your pussy like they had that night, the pretty sounds you had let out as your mouth was stuffed full of his cock and he groans. “Do you really enjoy making me suffer?”

“Oh, are you suffering?” you cooed into the receiver. “You know all you have to do is say it.”

He knew this, oh god did he know this and right now he’s way too lost in it all to even feel the embarrassment or unsureness he usually does when he’s around you, so he asks—no begs—to finally fuck you. “Please, please let me fuck you Y/N.”

Your own eyes shut as he said this, fingers coming back up to rest on your stomach while you sat up in your bed with a smile on your face, focusing on the object beside your bed. “Okay, I’ll let you, if you let me try something on you first.”

Taehyung doesn’t even care to ask what the hell you meant by that, his mind already set on fucking you, and when he agreed without a second thought you text him your address, your head whirling at whats to come.

Taehyung didn’t even realize when he got to your place, running on autopilot fueled by pure hormones as he got into the taxi and managed to somehow get to your apartment in one piece.

His fingers were shaking slightly as he punched in the code you had given him, the main door buzzing as it unlocked, and it's then that it hits him, he's actually here. He had actually voiced his want for you and now he was here, fuck.

You sat patiently on your living room couch, a soft oversized shirt on as you waited for him to make his way up. You had buzzed him in about a minute ago, so when you heard the soft thud of footsteps approaching in the hallway, you knew it was him.

The gentle knock against your door had you hopping up from your spot, slowly approaching it and pressing your eye against the peep hole to catch a glance at him. He stood a foot or so away, eyes squinting at his phone and back up at the number to make sure it was the right place, not wanting to embarrass himself in front of a neighbor.

Once you pulled open the door, you could tell he was nervous, hair a little messy on top of his head and face looking slightly flushed, but he stood up straight and gave you a smile.

“Hi,” he utters out, walking into your place when you stepped aside and motioned for him to come in. He half expected your apartment to look like a sex dungeon, dark and dim, covered in leather with a sex swing in the corner, but its surprisingly normal.

The soft pastel pinks and oranges greeting him is definitely not what he imagined but he likes it, his eyes locking onto a watermelon plushie with button eyes tucked into the edge of your couch.

“Taehyung, do you want some water?” you offer, wanting to ease him into this, but he just shakes his head, turning back around to face you and it's then that he realized you’re only wearing a shirt.

“If you’re drunk we don’t have to do this right now.”

Taehyung heard you loud and clear, but he can’t look away from your chest, every time he blinks he could see the image of your tits thanks to the picture you had graciously provided him with. It’s killing him because he knew you were currently bare underneath the thin shirt you have on.

To be honest he wasn’t drunk, barely even tipsy, the small amount of liquor he consumed tonight was way less than his normal amount. He felt woozy enough around you on a normal day, but he knew he definitely wasn’t too drunk to do what he had come here to do.

“No, I’m good. I swear.”

The determination in his tone was very clear but you still waited for him to stop blatantly staring at the way your nipples poked through the fabric of your shirt, until finally his gaze locked with yours, following behind you as you led the way to your bedroom.

When he entered your room his eyes were drawn to your bed, fluffy and inviting, draped in a soft peach duvet with light pillows, but knowing the absolutely filthy things you most likely did on it killed the small sense of innocence he initially felt. Especially when he spots the hitachi wand resting pretty at the edge of the bed.

You were staring at his profile when he spotted it and you saw the way he swallowed, wide eyes bulging out as he analyzed the toy. Was this what you had been using when you answered his phone call? He wasn’t sure, he hadn’t heard anything in the background...maybe it was one of those fancy zero noise ones.

When he heard you giggle he snapped out of it, turning to face you with curious eyes.

“Have you never seen one?” Taehyung remained silent as he thought, but it's pretty clear he hadn’t. There was never time for sex toys with one night stands in random houses, sure he had seen them in porn but real life felt different. He wished he had, he didn’t want to use this on you and fumble around and make a bigger fool of himself.

“I take it you’ve never used one then?” you ask again as you walk over to it, picking it up gently in your hands and approaching Taehyung thanks to the fact that it was wireless.

He could only shake his head, staring at it in your grasp as your fingers glided over the plastic handle, your thumb flicking it on and smiling when the low hum filled the room. It's on the lowest setting but that didn’t stop you from beginning to get excited.

“Would you let me try this on you Taehyung?”

He looked utterly confused by your question, not at all expecting to be on the receiving end of this. What did you mean by that?

“You mean like shove it up my ass?” He could see you trying not to laugh at him, biting your lip as you shook your head.

“No, it's not a dildo Tae. Use it here.” You reached out until it was gently pressed against his crotch, the wand buzzing over his jeans. He let out a grunt at the feeling, head dropping down to stare at the white silicone head weakly vibrating on him, taking a moment to get over the initial shock. He chalked it up to being slightly under the influence, but he really wanted you to turn it up.

It was clear to see how mesmerized he was by the device so you flicked it up a level, relishing in the small gasp he let out as his jaw dropped. It was barely a flutter of pleasure, but something about it excited him, had him craving more so he looked up at you, glassy eyes and all.

“You can do whatever you want to me.” He felt no shame when he told you that, groaning once more when you applied a hint of pressure against him.

The way your body reacted to his words was pure instinct, him admitting to letting you do as you please unhinged you. He saw it in the way you bit your lip, your eyes roaming his face until they dragged down his body, landing on his now half hard cock with the vibrating head of the wand still pressing against it.

“Fuck, please,” he begged, and when you retract the wand he almost takes it back. That is, until you were pulling him in, one hand tugging at his shirt until he's flushed against you, your lips meeting his in a frenzy, swallowing the moan he let out into the kiss. His hands stayed at his sides, not sure if he was allowed to touch you again considering you had told him not to last time, and you smirked when you realized it. Taehyung knew he would only be able to touch you if he deserved it, your words being engraved in his brain, and he was planning on earning that tonight.

“Good boy, you remembered.” you whispered out, lips brushing against his as you spoke. His eyes remained shut, the only indication that he heard being the small nod he gave you. Your hand inched up from the grasp you had in his shirt until you’re cupping his cheek gently.

“You see what happens when you’re good?” You kissed him again, pulling back once he started to press harder into you. “You get rewarded.” His breath shuddered against your face at the promise of being rewarded, and you smiled while reaching down to grab his hand and gently tugged him closer towards your bed, your right hand still holding the wand loosely by your side as he followed along.

“Do you want me–“ he paused to take a breath when you turned back around to face him. “Do you want me to strip?” His voice sounded so soft, unsure if asking you was the right thing to do, but him asking you this showed you that you’d managed to create another sliver in his outer shell. One step closer to cracking him.

You gave him another gentle kiss, nodding as you stepped back from him, eyes trained on his body while he began to tug at the black shirt he had tucked into his jeans, the material slowly sliding off his body and revealing his tan skin.

He didn’t feel uneasy at your staring this time around, being able to tell you’re clearly enjoying the view of him slowly undressing, your eyes focusing on his cock as it sprung out when he slid out of his briefs. Your hand clutched onto the wand a little tighter, fingers hovering over the power button with newfound enthusiasm, eager to make him squirm at the new sensation. And when he took it upon himself to settle onto your bed without you having to ask, you withheld the urge to clap in excitement.

Taehyung waited with baited breath when you kneeled onto the bed, shuffling your way up his body and setting the toy by his side, his body flinching slightly when the cool plastic touched his skin as it rolled on the bed. Resting your weight on your left hand, settled by his shoulder while your right hand softly cupped his cheek as you inched closer. His eyes looked at your lips before looking back down to his own hands, an unspoken question hanging off his tongue.

“My hands?” Is all he managed to get out, the rest of the question dying when he made eye contact but you only raised your brows up, making him realize he needed to be more specific. “Do you want them grabbing the headboard again?”

Leaning forward to kiss him once more, you smirked, witnessing how such a simple question could embarrass him so much due to him being in a different position than he was used to. “Ideally I’d want them cuffed and behind your back.” He shut his eyes at your words, cock throbbing as he pictured himself the way you wanted him. “But not today. Just keep them on the bed. Can you do that?”

Taehyung felt your lips press against his again and he nodded. “Y-yeah, yeah I can.”

He could feel you hum against his skin, the hand that was cupping his cheek beginning to trail down his chest, passing his navel until you reached his dick, fingers wrapping around him and beginning to slide your palm up and down. “Good.”

He sighed into your mouth as your hands squeezed around the base of his cock, twisting as it came up in a slow motion, wanting to ease him into the pleasure of it so as to not scare him when you grab the wand again. It only took a few minutes until he’s kissing you more relaxed, body sagging into the bed as he grunt softly into your mouth whenever you focused on his swollen tip; and that's when you reached over to your bedside table, grabbing the bottle of lube you had with your lips still attached to him.

They separate with a light smack, and you rest back onto his thighs, taking a moment to take him in, the way he’s laid out on your bed, chest heaving slightly while his weeping dick sat against his stomach. He watched you intently as you uncapped the lube you have, dropping a generous amount into your palm and wrapping it around his cock again. Taehyung hissed at the cool sensation, stomach tensing when you began a fluid motion only set on spreading the liquid, but he still groaned because he knew what was next.

You tried not to let the overt excitement show on your face when you reached over and grabbed the wand once more, thumb flicking it on to the lowest setting and pressing it against his thigh first, observing the way he jumped slightly at the sensation. “I know you’ve never used this before,” you start, trailing the vibrating head up onto his stomach and back down to his other thigh, dipping down slightly towards the center but staying off his cock. “So, you need to tell me if you feel uncomfortable at any moment okay?”

His thighs are tensing up already, getting desperate to feel something, anything. “Like a safe word?”

“Sure,” you hummed, staring back at his face and seeing the distraught look on it. He wasn’t sure why the idea of a safe word sent his mind into a flurry, he had never used one and having to think of one that he’d remember seemed almost impossible at the moment. “Or we can make it easy. You know traffic lights?”

He nodded. “Great. If you say green everything's going good, yellow is if you start to feel uncomfortable or need me to slow down, red is if you need me to stop completely. You say these at any time.”

You’re continuing to tease him as you explained this and Taehyung rested his head back, not wanting to see you as you clearly avoided giving his dick any attention.

“Okay, I got it. Green,” he groaned out, and you just chuckled, finally pressing the head of the vibrator against his cock. The low vibrations started at the base and his stomach tensed at the feeling, a tiny whine escaping him, hands having to resort to clutching your sheets again to stop himself from grabbing you and forcing you to switch it up a level.

The head of the vibrator bent slightly as you applied more pressure, thumb flicking it up two levels and enjoying the way he cursed, his head lifting back up to stare in awe as you slowly dragged it up an inch before coming back down, passing it right over his balls briefly.

“Oh shit,” he keened, teeth sinking into his bottom lip, not being able to thrust up into it because you were still resting on his thighs.

“Aren’t you glad you told me yes?” you asked teasingly, sliding it up until it was nuzzled right against his frenulum before kicking it up another two levels. His reaction had you dripping against his thighs, arm muscles taut from how hard he’s grabbing the duvet, stomach caving in as he moaned out unabashedly.

“Fuck,” he gasped, “yes, I am.” Taehyung had no idea something like this could feel so good, he was so accustomed to hearing women talking about vibrators and he thought it was a load of shit. Clearly he had been very, very wrong.

Even though you’re focusing it on the underside of his tip, slowly raising the levels up until he’s squirming, he felt like his whole lower body was vibrating. The telltale signs of his orgasm creep up on him, the feeling only increasing when your fingers wrap around his shaft and you hold the vibrator against his swollen tip. The fluttering feeling of pressure building up becoming more consistent, his breath leaving him in huffs as he tried to force it away.

You can tell by the way his body started to tense up, your finger turning it up another level to push him further. “Are you gonna cum already? I thought you wanted to fuck me?”

He whined loudly, desperately trying to sink his hips into the bed to ease the pressure but your hands followed his movements, his head whipping to the side as he scrunched his face up. “Fuck, I do–I do want to fuck you, god–“ he gasped out when you started to circle the head of the toy around his tip, the rolling pleasure becoming too much. “Unghh, please let me f-fuck you.”

His stomach began to shudder more aggressively, hips wiggling around and you smirked down at him, his face finally turning back up to stare at the ceiling, his brows pulled together tightly with unshed tears prickling his waterline. “Hold it Taehyung.”

He nearly sobbed at your demand, taking in a deep breath as he shut his eyes once more, forcing himself to try to tune out his nearing release. His heart feels tight in his chest, blood thrumming so loud in his head, eyes burning as the tears finally spill over. But it’s too late, the tingling feeling had started to spread throughout his body and he knew he was a few seconds away from blowing his load.

Taehyung let out a pained moan. “Fuck I can’t, y-yellow, yellow!” You let go of his cock, the vibrator lowering in intensity before easing off and going back to trail on his stomach and thighs as his close release faded away, letting him whimper as he tried to catch his breath. “I’m sorry.”

After a moment you switched the toy off entirely and set it aside on the bed, soft hands running along his skin to help calm him down, reaching up to gently wipe away his fallen tears. “Don’t be sorry, you did good.”

He sighed in relief, glad that he hadn’t ruined it by not being able to hold off his orgasm, he tried the best he could but the only way he wanted to cum was after he sank into you.

You gave him another minute to come down, easing off of his thighs to tug your shirt off of your body, the material landing in a heap on the floor and that grabbed Taehyung's attention. He looked at your body with desire, wanting to reach out and grab you, kneading your flesh as he cupped your tits and ass, but he's done so well so far so he holds himself back. The only daring touch he allowed is his thumbs gently rubbing against your knees as they rest on either side of his thighs.

You let the touch slide as you bent forward and kissed him, reaching over to the bedside drawer and pulling out a condom. Leaning back from him, you tear it open with your teeth and slowly ease it onto his throbbing cock, hearing him groan when your hands add a bit of pressure at his base once it's fully rolled on.

“You okay?” you ask softly. He looked dazed out, no longer tipsy from his earlier adventure but his mind was working on overdrive, the abundance of fantasies he’s had of you are coming to fruition. He was finally going to know what it felt like to actually fuck you, and he was scared his excitement would make him cum a minute in, especially after he had forced his last orgasm away.

“Yeah, just–“ he swallowed harshly, letting his head fall back into the plush pillows. “Give me a minute please.” You smirked at the slightly pained expression on his face, but you hummed anyways, letting his dick lay back above his stomach as you leaned forward and opted for kissing him softly, fingers slowly trailing through his hair to help calm him down.

Taehyung shivered as your nails gently scraped down until you reached his neck, his hips beginning to rut up against you, clearly being ready to continue.

“Please,” he starts again, groaning as you tugged his lower lip between your teeth, letting it snap back gently. “Let me fuck you. I’ve been good right?” He still felt his face flush at his own words but a strange sense of pleasure also coursed through him when you nodded in response.

Your hand reached down between your bodies, grabbing his cock to tease around your entrance. “Yes Tae, you’ve been very good.” He held his breath as you started to ease down onto him, the both of you groaning at the pleasant stretch of your walls, his jaw dropping while he kept his eyes glued at the sight of his thick cock parting your lips.

“Holy shit,” he gasped out when you fully sank onto him, giving him a moment as you rested your hands on his chest, biting your lip at how full you felt.

Kim Taehyung’s dick lived up to its name, long and girthy with the prettiest veins running along the underside of it, the slightest curve of it allowing it to gently nudge along the sweet patch inside of you. It filled you up perfectly, leaving you stunned above him as you adjusted to his size.

When his breathing evened out, you peeked a glance at him, his forehead slightly damp from the earlier teasing. He looked so utterly fucked out and desperate and it urged you on; you were determined to crack him, show him how great this could be, and so far he seemed more than willing to let go of control.

As you start a slow rhythm, you wished you could bind his wrists behind his back, strapped into a chair, wrapped up in the pretty red rope you used to use on Jungkook, or even drape your favorite blindfold over his eyes like you used to with Hwasa; but you didn’t want to push him further, you were letting him dip his toe into this.

Taehyung was so used to being in control, so used to being the one in charge of giving for himself, and when he had heard the way you spoke to him: praising him for behaving, all giggly and soft after you had made his mind blank from an orgasm, he wasn’t sure he wanted to go back to his normal.

His thumb was still grazing your knees, every time he flicked them upward on your skin he could feel your muscles tense as you lift yourself off of him and snap back down, the sound of your skin slapping together filling up the room. They mixed in with your soft moans, nearly concealing how affected you were by this, hiding the small cries of pleasure felt from the tip of his cock nudging the sweetest spots deep within you.

Taehyung could feel his blood buzzing in his ear, the feeling of being buried inside of you going beyond what he ever thought, his heart continuing to pound when he felt you tighten around his length.

“Is this worth you leaving whoever you were with earlier tonight?”

Your words caught him off guard for a moment, having to clear the heady feeling in his brain, and he took a moment to wonder how you knew he was with someone, but then your fingers came to prod at the hickeys littering his neck.

Half moons marked his skin as your nails came down to his chest, lightly digging into his skin and he hissed, hips thrusting up slightly. “Shit, I–“ he whined when you began to grind against him, slow rocks of your hips letting him feel the glide of your walls against his cock. “Yes, so worth it.”

You let yourself lean more against his chest, tits pressed along his skin as you brought your face closer. “Do you think she would’ve been able to make you feel this good?”

He doesn’t even have to think about it, immediately shaking his head. “No—fuck, just you.”

You pressed a kiss directly underneath one of the hickeys, leaning back again and cupping your breasts, fingers pinching and rolling your nipples as you resumed bouncing on top of him. Sinful slaps of your skin connecting fill up the room like it belonged there, arousal gushing out of you when he whimpers at the visual of you riding him.

The whiny pleas he let out proved he’s edging close to his release again, making a heat pool in your gut, and he shocks you when he requests for you to place your hands around his throat. He had always been interested in choking, albeit he always imagined he’d be the one with his hands wrapped around someone but this felt right, your thumb and middle finger pressing into his carotid artery had all the stars aligning in his eyes.

Your eyes widened at his reaction, not expecting him to be bold enough to ask for this considering it took him this long to tell you he wanted to fuck you, but you’d take it. You’d take his half lidded gaze as you applied pressure on his neck, his stomach caving in slightly everytime you slid back down on his length, your walls squeezing him deliciously as he neared his end; you’d take all of it. .

He could feel his mind going hazy, drifting up as every nerve in him tingled, hyper fixated on the repeated raunchy, wet sound of you riding him. Taking note of his floaty appearance, you sped up your pace, tightening up around him as you leaned forward and kissed his cheek softly. “You feel so good Taehyung, cum for me.”

He shivered slightly at your words, your hands squeezing a little tighter against his neck, and suddenly he's cumming. His body was set alight as the feeling caught him by surprise, eyes bulging out and a choked gasp leaving his mouth when you released his throat.

He let out a loud moan of your name, rutting his hips up into you as his dick twitched and filled up the condom, spine sparking with pleasure as you continued to rut against him. “Oh fuck,” he cried out, his hand coming up to tangle into his hair while the small after shocks of his orgasm hit him.

When you reached over to grab the forgotten hitachi wand, his mind blanks, seeing you continuing to grind against his still hard dick as you pressed the head of the wand against your clit had him at a loss.

Fuck you’re hot.

When you smiled down at him, your mouth dropping open slightly when you found the sweet spot, he realized he uttered that out loud. Another groan of his spilled out again when he felt the vibrations against his own cock from how high you had the settings.

You give up on fucking him, letting his cock stay nuzzled deep inside of you as you pressed one hand against his ribs while you hunched over and moaned. The intensity of the vibrator had your whole body trembling, buzzing directly against your swollen clit with precision, making your velvety walls pulse around his sensitive cock.

The feeling of your orgasm came on strongly, your hand pressing the toy harder against you, and Taehyung felt like he could cum again as you tightened your walls around him, the sensation making him softly rut up into you.

“Oh god, fuck Taehyung,” you gasped out, throwing your head back as your orgasm finally hit you. All Taehyung could do was stare at you in a daze as you came undone, small whimpers leaving your lips as your hips twitched, chasing the pleasure until you were sighing and shutting off the toy, body still trembling from the aftershocks.

When you tossed it aside you stayed sat on him, breath heaving as you hunched over him slightly. His hands that were on your knees fully came up onto your thighs to gently massage them, wanting to comfort you, the mutual understanding that he was allowed to touch you after sex being passed between you.

After a minute, you slowly eases yourself off of his soft length, pulling off the condom and tossing it into the bin beside the bed.

Taehyung was entirely spent. Tonight had felt like the longest night of his life, and his eyes were drifting shut when he felt you straddle him again, your arms resting on his chest as you stared up at his sleepy form.

His eye cracked open and he grinned at you when he saw the look on your face; it was the sweet smile you wore when you were up to no good. The fingers on your left hand gently spelled your name on his skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, your chin rested on top of your arm and you laughed when you saw his eyebrow raise up in question.

“What?” he asked. You were clearly out of the mood that made you want to bind and tease Taehyung until he was crying, wanting to reassure him and make sure he was comfortable after doing things you knew he wasn’t used to with your soft touches.

You hummed softly as you stared into his eyes. “Kim Taehyung is into choking huh?”

His face flushes immediately as he replays his request in his mind, and you pat his chest to get him to stare at you, a small frown on your face at his clear embarrassment. “Hey, it wasn’t a tease. It’s hot.”

Taehyung raised both brows now, staring at you like you had said something absolutely foreign to him. Tonight was a night of firsts and realizations, who knew Taehyung loved the feeling of a vibrator on his cock, and who knew he had a kink for your hands around his throat. “Really?”

“Oh yeah,” you mused, lifting up slightly to inch closer to his face. “Seeing you squirming while I choked you was the hottest thing.”

He could only stare at you, the gears in his head turning as he thought of what just happened. He never imagined he’d be into giving someone control like that. Taehyung knew it was minuscule, but this was all new to him and he loved it already, his brain wondering how much further you could take it.

“You know, I’m kinda into it.” He looked away from you as he said this, still not confident in admitting it and he knew it was silly, especially when he could see how much hearing these words lit your face up.

Your eyes shut when he admitted to this; it always felt like finding gold when you got a man to confess to enjoying this. So many men were always afraid to admit to liking how it felt when a girl took control over them, no matter how subtle, and Taehyung was someone you thought would be a little harder to break down.

“Are you?”

He hummed, his hands finally coming up higher to touch you and his warm grip caught you off guard. But he takes his time as he trails his fingers up and down your sides, gliding across your back, sliding them into your hair and tugging you closer until he’s kissing you, the first time he’s ever taken control of any situation.

He relished in the small gasp you let out as he licked the seam of your lips, his tongue slipping in and massaging against yours slowly for a brief moment until he’s pulling back. Taehyung realized that this is the longest conversation you two have had in person, and the first one where he didn’t feel like a babbling idiot.

“Is there more we can try next time?” he wondered softly, nudging your noses together and kissing you again briefly.

Your mind was already picturing how he’d look tied up, cock swollen and dripping with a cockring sat snuggly around his base, maybe a thick collar around his neck. You could ease him into trying out some of the floggers you have, or tempt him into wax play, maybe ice cubes if he was wary of the wax. So many ideas that had you squirming on top of him with anticipation, and when he saw that look on your face he found himself smiling with you.

“Oh, there's so much Taehyung. You just have to tell me what you’re comfortable with.” Your fingers are raking through his own hair now as he leaned into the touch. “Can you do that?”

When your fingers tugged the strands, he sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Pressing your lips against his again, he feels you smirk against his skin, the small sharpness of your teeth sinking into his lip making him groan. “Good boy.”

#ficswithluv #btswritingcafe #heartsforbts #btsghostie #bangtansorciere #vantaenet #taehyung smut #kim taehyung #taehyung #bts smut #bts fics #taehyung scenarios

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dreamerstreamer · 3 years

Text

Breathless

Pairing: Dream / Clay x asthmatic!gn!reader

Summary: Life with a chronic illness isn’t always easy, and some days are more difficult than others, but you always manage to find yourself breathing a little easier with Clay by your side.

Warnings: tw// depiction of asthma & asthma attack

Word Count: 4.4k

A/N: my second commissioned story! this work has been altered from its original form so that everyone can read it, but the plot and writing remain largely the same. this was more specific and required more research than the stories i typically write, but i hope you all enjoy nonetheless! <3

The smell of sanitizer and antiseptics tickled your nose as you pushed past the hospital office door, folding the piece of paper tucked in your hands into quarters. Slipping it into your pocket, you raised your chin, the paper resting comfortably next to the familiar weight of your inhaler. You stretched your arms above your head with a small groan, rolling your shoulders back as you made your way down the hall with a small bounce in your step.

Respiratory therapy may be good for you, but your favourite part was still when you got to go home.

You rubbed your hand over the patch stuck to the inside of your forearm, the tiniest hint of red colouring the ivory white cloth as you pressed your fingers gently against it. Letting out a sigh, you faced forward once more, your eyes lighting up as the waiting room came into view. Walking a little faster, you was just about to head into the waiting room when you froze, your eyes falling on the figure sitting in a chair pressed up against the wall adjacent to you.

Clay was drumming one hand against his thigh as the other scrolled leisurely through his phone, Tweet after Tweet flying by on his screen. In his ears hung a pair of earbuds, and you could see him gently bobbing his head along to the beat of whatever song he was listening to, his foot quietly tapping against the tiled hospital floor. You traced your eyes over the bridge of his nose and the crest of hair that tickled the top of his forehead, a fond warmth rushing through your chest.

He always waited for you no matter what, even if you told him not to. It didn’t matter if he had a stream planned just a few minutes after your session would wrap up or if he was in the middle of editing a video—he would drop everything to wait for you, patient and caring as always. He was just stubborn like that, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to get him to swallow his pride, as much as you may try.

Blinking as you gazed at him, a thought suddenly popped into your head, a devilish ember tickling at the base of your spine. Your lips split into a sly grin, your eyes narrowing as the cogs in your head churned. Ever so slowly, you crept over to his side, just barely keeping yourself out of view until you were standing just diagonally behind him, a single step away. As quiet as a mouse, you reached your hand forward and dipped your head down beside his ear, gently tapping his shoulder. With a start, Clay jumped in his seat, his eyes shooting wide open as he whipped his head up to look at you. In a flash, he was tearing out his earbuds, his phone going slack in his hands and a bright smile tugging at his lips.

“Boo,” you whispered, waving your hand at him as your lips stretched widely across your face.

“Hey,” he said, gentle and warm as he reached for your hand, intertwining your fingers between his. “You done with therapy for today?”

You beamed proudly, bobbing your head. “Yep. We’re all good to go.”

The gleam in his eyes was as sweet as honey as he got to his feet, slipping his phone into the back pocket of his jeans. He tilted his head at you, and before you could ask if anything was wrong, he had raised his free hand to brush a stray strand of hair away from your face. A second later, he was dipping his head to yours, and you shivered at the warmth of his lips pressing against your forehead while he murmured into your skin, “Perfect.”

When he pulled back, he squeezed your hand in his, his thumb brushing over your knuckles lovingly. With one last grin, the two of them began to stroll out of the waiting room and into the front hall.

“So,” he said after a moment as they turned a corner, “how did everything go, today? Did anything different happen?”

You shrugged, gesturing vaguely. “Oh, you know. Same old, same old. Got my blood oxygen level checked, did some breathing tests and exercises—” You eyed the small patch on your arm with a wistful glance. “Just the usual.”

A comfortable silence washed over them as they swung their arms together in a charmingly off-beat rhythm, occasionally brushing their sides up against one another with a small smile. Beside you, a nurse bustled past with his stethoscope bouncing around his neck and a clipboard clutched to his chest. You glanced over at him, then opened your mouth again. “What about you?” You shrunk back the tiniest bit, your fingers sheepishly twitching against his. “I hope you weren’t too bored or anything waiting up for me.”

Clay laughed, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. “For you? Never.” You felt your heart stumble in your chest as he continued. “I just scrolled through Twitter for a while, then I made a tweet about the donation I’m making for my next video—you know, the one to spread chronic illness awareness.”

Leaning against his side slightly, you sighed, your head stuffed full with adoration for your boyfriend as you pressed your head into his warmth. “That’s incredible, Clay,” you murmured, squeezing his hand. “You’re incredible.”

His lips twitched into a ghost of a smile, and he squeezed your hand back. “I try my best.”

You felt your heart swell, and you resisted the urge to kiss him in front of the hospital staff right then and there. Just how lucky could you be to have someone as lovely and compassionate as Clay in your life?

Stepping into the front lobby, he gently nudged his shoulder into yours, stepping to the side to make way for another patient. The ringing of the secretary’s phone made you jolt beside him, but not once did his eyes leave your face. “I’m guessing we’re coming back the same time next week?”

You flashed a grin at him, winking sheepishly. “You know it.”

The chuckle he let out made your stomach flip, affection nipping incessantly at the back of your head. “Awesome,” he hummed, sticking his hand into his pocket. Fishing around, his mouth quirked up a moment later as he pulled out a ring of car keys, clasping his fingers around it. “Alright—let’s go.”

You blinked, your lips curling into a frown as the automatic doors parted in front of them. “Wait, I can drive us.”

He shot you a fond look, shaking his head. The sun’s warm rays cast a golden sheen to his dirty blond locks, his eyes practically glowing in the midday heat. “Nope, no can do.” He jutted his head toward the car, which sat a few yards away in the parking lot beside the hospital. “You drove us here, and now it’s my turn to drive us back.”

Something flashed in your gaze, and your tongue darted out to swipe at your lips as your fingers twitched at your side. “You say that,” you began, your hand shooting forward toward the keys in his, “but not if I get the keys fir—hey!”

A gasp flew from your lips as your hand met nothing but open air, Clay having leapt back with his arm stretched up high above his head. Stumbling back a few steps, shimmering mirth danced in his gaze as he waved the keys at you, just barely out of reach. “Too slow, baby.”

Scowling, you leapt forward yet again, your fingers desperately reaching for the keys as he simply stepped off to the side, backpedaling until a few feet stood between the two of them. The glare you shot him only seemed to egg him on as he began to twirl the silver key ring around his pointer finger playfully. He was teasing you now, you knew it, and you were not going to take any part in it.

“Clay,” you said slowly between gritted teeth.

“[Y/N],” he drawled back, a wide grin still plastered to his face.

Just then, you were bolting over to him, a small breeze biting at your face as you lunged for his hand. You could feel your lungs tighten as the warm, humid air came rushing into your chest, but you were far too focused on the glint of metal against his skin to care. Clay’s eyes went wide as his hand suddenly snapped shut around the car keys, his arm pinning itself to his back as his other hand reached out to steady you against him.

“Okay, okay,” he cried, his fingers gently pressing into the fabric of your shirt, “no running! Please.” His voice suddenly went soft, and your feet came to a grinding halt before him, your lungs heaving. “I don’t want you to stress your asthma.”

Feeling your heart batter against your rib cage, you sucked in a breath, rocking against him ever so slightly as you lifted your chin at him. “Then will you please let me drive?”

He blinked at you for a moment, a thoughtful look passing over his expression. “Hmm... should I?”

You gasped, bobbing your head eagerly, a hint of a smile gracing your lips. His tongue poked out at the corner of his mouth, and you felt a glimmer of hope spark in the pit of your stomach. Yes!

Then, he smiled, apologetic and teasing. “Still no.”

Your face fell in an instant, twisting into a pout as you sagged against his side with a whine. His grin only widened at the sight, patting your on the shoulder with a gentle nudge. “Sorry, [Y/N],” he hummed, turning on his heel to walk over to the driver’s side of the car, “but I’m not budging on this one.”

You groaned, begrudgingly dragging yourself over to the other side of the car and tugging the door open. “Ugh. You,” you said, flopping into the passenger seat with a frown and your arms crossed on top of your frontside, “are the worst.”

He let out a chuckle at your face, pushing the keys into the ignition and turning his hand with a knowing look. “Sure, sure,” he murmured, soft and low. “Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

Despite yourself, you felt your heart flutter in your chest at the pet name, melting back into the car seat as your arms went limp over your chest. Sneaking a glance over at him, you felt warmth skitter across your face at the way his eye caught yours, loving and true. Huffing, you feigned annoyance and stuck your tongue out at him, but you couldn’t quite stop the smile from tugging at your lips, something pink and fuzzy bubbling up in the core of your chest as they pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

You were so driving next time.

You picked at the patch on your arm, your gaze focused intently as your nails carefully peeled back one of the corners. Gently grasping at the lifted flap, you tugged backward, the patch slowly peeling off until it was popping off your arm with a satisfying flick. Smiling triumphantly to yourself, you walked over to the garbage can and tossed the used patch in, relishing in the feeling of the cool air brushing over your now exposed skin. Leaning against the kitchen counter, you tugged your phone out of your pocket, swiping open your phone with a soft hum.

It had been a few days since your last respiratory therapy session, and you were feeling good. The new breathing exercises you had been suggested were working amazingly, and it almost made your feel like you didn’t need to keep your inhaler on hand every waking second.

Sucking in a deep breath, you held it in for a long moment, then exhaled, feeling the air rush out of your lungs in a single gust. It was right then that a small itch rose into the back of your throat, and you coughed just a little bit, swallowing sharply as you straightened. All of a sudden, a head popped into the kitchen doorway, golden brows knit together with worry.

“[Y/N]?”

You whirled at the sound of your name, your gaze immediately landing on Clay’s pursed lips on the opposite side of the room. “Mhm?”

He cocked his head at you, his eyes scanning you up and down for a split second before locking onto yours once more. “I heard coughing.” His eyes flashed. “Are you okay?”

You nodded, shooting him a reassuring grin. “Yeah—just choked on some spit or something. It was nothing serious.” When he only blinked at you, you firmly added, “I promise.”

Just like that, his shoulders relaxed once more, and a soft smile crept onto his face. “Alright. I just wanted to let you know that I’m gonna be editing for a couple of hours.” He jutted his thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll be in the next room over if you need anything, alright?”

You grinned, sending him a playful salute. “Roger that.” Pushing back against the counter, you slipped your phone back into your pocket and strode across the kitchen over to him, stopping just a tile in front of him. “How much is it this time?”

One side of Clay’s mouth curled up into a thoughtful expression. “Well,” he began slowly, leaning against the doorframe, “I’ve got about five hours of footage and audio to cut down into about fifty minutes, so...”

He gestured vaguely with a pained expression, and you offered him a sympathetic look. “It’s a lot?” you prompted.

He let out a long sigh, weary yet sure as he bit back a wince. “It’s a lot.”

Shuffling a step closer, you reached your hand up to brush your fingers over his cheekbone, gentle and sweet. “You’ll do great,” you said quietly, your eyes curving into crescent moons alight with ardent and honest affection. “You always do.”

Clay leaned in to your warm touch, his eyelids fluttering for a moment as he let out another sigh—an enamoured one, this time. “I love you,” he whispered, sincerity seeping into every letter he breathed.

The fondness of his voice made your heart melt into a sugary sweet puddle in your chest, and you let your hand bury itself into his soft locks. “I love you, too,” you whispered back.

With a warm gaze that made your insides tingle, Clay was dipping his head, and you let your eyelids fall shut as you let your mouth part ever so slightly. A second later, his lips were pressed against yours, plush and loving as you felt yourself smiling into the kiss, his hot breath tickling the side of your cheek. Just a moment later, they broke apart, warm air rushing into your lungs as you flashed him a bright grin.

“Go ahead, now,” you murmured, nudging his shin with your foot. “You’ve got lots of footage to sift through.”

Standing up straight again, he rolled his eyes as he turned on his heel with a dramatic groan. “Why did you have to remind me?” he cried over his shoulder.

You could only laugh in return, waving at him with a jesting bow and grinning at the way he pretended to be offended. You watched as he slunk into the next room over down the hall, pushing the door shut behind him with his arm. With a hint of a smile lining your lips, you hummed to yourself before strolling out of the kitchen and into the living room. Flopping onto the couch with a huff, you settled back against the cushions with a comforted exhale and pulled out your phone once more. You relished in quiet moments like these, even if you would much rather be spending them with Clay. Maybe you would make him a snack or something, just to help him ease up on all his editing.

You had only been sitting for a few minutes when you felt a familiar itch gnaw at the base of your neck once more, and you ducked your head into your elbow to let out a harsh cough. Your chest felt tighter than it usually did, and you furrowed your brows. You had been breathing just fine less than an hour ago. What in the world could be possibly changing that?

As another cough welled up in your mouth, you turned your head, sweeping your gaze across the room. Just as you began sucking in yet another burning breath, a flash of cerulean blue caught your eye, and you froze, your jaw going completely slack.

The window was open.

Everyone had their own asthma triggers, whether it was a cat allergy or some nasty pollution. But for you, having so much as an open window could be more than enough to send your body spiralling into overdrive and straight into an asthma attack.

And by the looks of it, your body was doing just that.

Your lungs felt tight—too tight, almost as if a boa constrictor had snaked up your spine and wrapped around them, constricting them until they were nothing more than two, tiny, trembling slivers in your chest. You let out a choked gasp, then desperately tried to breathe in, only to feel your lungs screaming in protest within the cavity of your chest, fuzzy pain swimming throughout the entirety of your body. your windpipe felt like it had been squeezed into the size of a straw, and you knew it was only a matter of time before you began wheezing. With a hammering heart, you stumbled to your feet, your hand reaching for your pocket with a shuddering cough. Patting against your thigh, you suddenly seized up when you felt nothing pressing up against your palm. That was when it hit you.

You had left your inhaler upstairs in the bedroom, back when you were feeling better than ever just a couple of hours prior.

You half wanted to cry out of both amazement and agony—how ironic was it that you would have an asthma attack the one time you didn’t have your inhaler on you?

You could practically hear the blood rushing through your ears as you took a shaky step forward, holding yourself upright as much as possible as you tried to remain calm. Or, as calm as you could when you couldn’t breathe. It would take too long for you to go all the way upstairs and grab your inhaler—there was simply no way you would even be able to make it that far.

Luckily for you, you knew just where to find another one.

Striding as quickly and steadily as you could on your shaking legs, you pressed your way out of the living room and down the hall, breathing as deeply as possible despite just how narrow your airway felt. You coughed again, the inferno ripping through your lungs like a raging beast as you grasped at the wall for support. It was like someone had sat on your chest, pressing down like an iron anvil slamming into the earth from a cliff.

It hurt.

You could feel the back of your eyes sting more and more with each desperate gasp for air you took, and your entire body felt like it was about to collapse beneath your . You nearly sank with relief when you finally reached Clay’s door, your knees buckling like a newborn fawn’s. With a muffled choke, you wrapped your hand around the door handle and twisted it, pulling it back as hard as you could. The door slammed into the opposite wall with a reverberating thud, shaking the floor with a low creak.

In front of his desk, Clay jolted at the sudden sound, ripping off his headphones as he spun around in his chair to face you. “[Y/N]?” he said, confusion clouding his face. “What’s wro—”

You cut him off with another cough, the flames licking at your throat with a burning vengeance as you frantically gestured toward your neck. An instant later, you were sinking to the ground, wheezing for dear life. That was all it took for Clay to come barrelling out of his desk chair and across the room to your side, one hand already digging itself into his pocket.

“Oh, crap, okay,” he rambled in a panicked rush, pulling an inhaler out of his pocket. “[Y/N], please look at me. I’ve got a rescue inhaler here.”

Forcing your head up to meet his frenetic gaze, you could feel tears brim along your lashes, opening your mouth for him. Not even a split second later, he was gently pushing the inhaler past your lips, one hand carefully gripping the plastic while the other reached for your hand.

With a quivering voice, he slipped your hand into his. “Ready, set, breathe, baby.”

He pressed down on the top of the inhaler, and immediately, you were sucking in a harsh, aching breath. Almost instantaneously, you felt a cool mist of medication spray against the back of your mouth, your throat relaxing the tiniest bit as you exhaled. A few seconds later, he was pressing down again, and you were inhaling as much as you could. For a few minutes, they stayed like that, your hand squeezing his as tightly as possible as you took breath after agonizing breath, your lungs working beyond belief. You weren't keeping track of how much time had passed, focusing only on the simple act of breathing and the feeling of your lungs slowly expanding in your chest. Every so often, you let out a tiny whimper, and he would reassuringly squeeze your hand in his, his emerald eyes filled with an intensity you rarely got to see.

At long last, you tapped thrice at Clay’s hand wrapped around yours, and in a flash, he was pulling the inhaler from your lips and letting it rest in his lap, his eyes desperately scanning your face. Your chest felt like it had just been unraveled from a wound-up ball, and you leaned forward the tiniest bit, your palm pressing against the ground to stabilize yourself.

“Clay,” you whispered, your throat feeling raw and your voice coming out with a slight rasp.

His name was only about halfway out of your mouth when he was wrapping his arms around your shoulders, the warmth of his hands soaking into your skin. “[Y/N], are—are you okay? Does your chest hurt? Does it still hurt when you breathe?”

You took in a staggering breath. Then two, then three. After a few long seconds, you lifted your head, flashing him a brighter, calmer smile. “I—I’m okay. Y-Yeah, I’m—” You cleared your sore throat, not missing the way his eyes flashed with concern. “I’m alright.”

His palms were still tense next to your arm. “Are you absolutely sure?”

You reached a hand up to grab one of his, gently prying his fingers into yours with a soft promise. “One hundred percent.”

His eyes focused on yours for a moment longer, then he was sagging with relief, his shoulders finally slumping. “Good. Really good. That’s great, honestly.”

You laughed at his reaction, your heart only just slightly trembling between your aching lungs. “Thank god it’s over. Just, woah, um,” you rambled, your words coming out in a hazy rush. “That was—holy crap, that was so… so...”

He raised his hand, and you suddenly fell silent as he warmly patted your side. “Slow down a bit, baby,” he said gently, his brows sloping downward. “I don’t want your lungs acting up on us, again.”

You nodded, squeezing your eyes shut for a second before whispering, “That was so scary.”

Just like that, his face was flooded with compassion, and he brushed his thumb over your cheek with a soft croon. “It was. It’s been a while since you last had an attack.” You melted against him, soaking in his every word. “Do you know what triggered it, this time?”

You paused, furrowing your brows before cocking your head. “I, um, there was an open window. In the living room.”

Clay blinked at your . Then, his expression slowly shifted to one of realization, the horror creeping onto his face like a stalking beast. “Oh, god,” he breathed. “I—I opened it when we got home from grocery shopping today. I just thought... it might be nice to have some fresh air, and—” He ran a hand through his hair, anxiety flicking at his head. “I wasn’t thinking. [Y/N], I’m sorry. That was terrible of me, I—”

His voice cracked brokenly as he dropped his head, and you were immediately throwing your arms around him, climbing forward and into his lap with a soothing tone. “No, no, no, Clay, no. Don’t say that.” You pressed your hands to his face and lifted his chin until he was looking at you again with wide, ashamed eyes. “You’re so good to me,” you whispered, “so wonderful in every way. If you didn’t have an inhaler on you, we would have had to call 911, and—”

You shook your head, your lips curving up into a gentle smile as you leaned forward to press your forehead to his. “Clay, you’re the best. Really, I mean it. Don’t think so poorly of yourself.”

For a minute, all was silent. Clay’s lips were parted with what looked like a mixture of awe and admiration, and you watched with surprise as he suddenly tugged you closer to his chest, your chin resting upon his shoulder as he squeezed you tightly. You could feel his breath tickle your ear as he whispered the softest of words into the quietness of the room. “God, I’m just glad you’re safe.” He brushed his lips against the shell of your ear. “You’re too important for me to lose.”

You gulped, your heart somersaulting through your chest and barrelling right through your lungs. You could feel your eyes water the tiniest bit as he rubbed a small circle into the curve of your waist, and you smiled as he nestled your head into the side of his neck.

He always managed to take your breath away in the best way possible.

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wemakeitupaswego · 3 years

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Could it be that they were supposed to keep it a secret as long as spn was running? Because cas/misha was always pushed out of the frame a bit... And if everyone knew they lived together it would've given us a much different picture of the relationships of jensen, misha and jared...as in jared is the least important part of the trio, while the show always focused on the brothers.

That is a very good sensible thought anon.. And frankly I think you could be very right. Cvv always sold the perfect picture of J2. We all bought it but those who sank themselves in the mirage are the ones who are having a hard time digesting what is happening right now. But still Jensen has a show to do with cvv. Jared is doing one at the moment. As far as they are both involved, expect that perfect picture of duo to come back shining. Jensen might not need to but they are going to want to show that they are doing alright for PR reasons.. We 're not buying it but the other side would.

So while the show was still running, J2 must be the spotlight. Misha never claimed himself as even a lead actor I think even though he is one of the reasons for show's success. I have mentioned this before that Misha doesn't steal the thunder deliberately from J2. He knows perfectly the show is about the brothers. He cheers them on then go to the corner of the stage BUT Jensen is the one who keep eyeing him, bringing him in to the middle of the interviews. Jensen knows how important Misha is.

Think about the scandalous vibe if the revelation of roommates happened in the middle of season 13 or something? It would have been such a big issue because the other side would not have taken it lightly. The betrayal for them would have started there. And back then with Cas coming back and widower arc and all, Destiel was going strong. Those mfs tweeted throughout BROKEBACKNATURAL episode. There are speculations that they were together in a condo when that episode aired. And this is back in 2017 when Misha moved in. So it could be true... But god forbid if anyone finds out they were living together because the spotlight has to always be about J2. Put the living together aside. They made Jared interrupt all the Cockles panels and made those into J2M panels. Frankly it could be because of the Cockles vibe being too strong, yet they made sure at every convention Jared was standing besides those two. So it is no wonder that Jensen and Misha wanted to keep it under wraps because they were under pressure.

Saddens me a bit but Doesn't it remind you every fanfic ever? The plot of Dean/Cas hiding a relationship because Dean is the hotshot with a public image and Cas is the PA who has to be the secret. Okay.. I am making this weird 🤣

Anyhoo, Jensen knows how to keep things under wraps. They kept it hidden because they didn't want us to find out. Thankfully the veterans of the Cockles fandom made sure of it tbh.

As per Jensen and Misha, now We know that they lived together and they can't paddle back on that. So whatever they are doing I think they have a strategy. Now the two bros energy is not essential for the prequel and old guard is dying, to me it seems like they are making a few things about them known because why not...

And I hope Jensen is doing okay. The character doesn't exactly has a comforting vibe to it as Soldier boy, he just went through a terrible week due to Jared and he is way from the family in a new set among new people. So I am a bit worried about him but in his recent post it seems like he is establishing his character. This is what it is gonna look like from now on. Even as a horror show in spn we hardly had disturbing scenarios to digest but The Boys is the real deal. He is going through the Boys vibes so this might all just be him getting into character.

This got way out of hand. But yes anon. I do think they kept it under wraps because they were supposed to due to the brothers agenda of the show. The clothes sharing and that elaborated story about how laundry got mixed? Misha was selling it too much but Jensen kept mostly silent about it. It all makes sense now..

Because when you live together as a couple, laundry gets mixed up...

#cockles #jenmish #destiel #misha collins #roommates in vancouver #j2 fallout theory #clothes sharing #anon

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rmnamjoons · 5 years

Text

The Truth Untold [KNJ]

➳ summary: You’ve been trapped for months in a loveless, toxic relationship, too afraid of what would happen if you ever tried to leave. Your boyfriend gets so jealous, especially of your best friend Namjoon, who you’ve missed more than your heart can stand. Now, seeing Namjoon for the first time in weeks, you decide that it’s time to tell him everything, no matter the cost.

➳ pairing: Namjoon x reader

➳ genre: smut, fluff, angst with a happy ending

➳ word count: 10.1k

➳ tags: best friends to lovers, escaping an abusive relationship, infidelity, best friend namjoon, emotional sex, first time together after secretly being in love with each other for so long, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, seemingly unrequited love, oral (f receiving), praise, squirting, overstimulation, SOFT soft dom namjoon

[read on ao3]

➳ a/n: This oneshot was inspired by everythingoes, mintjoonlep’s fic Safe With Me, and all those tweets that are like “I want Namjoon to fuck the sadness out of me.” There are strong themes of abuse, all of which happens before the plot of this story, so please proceed carefully if this topic is triggering for you.

“You deserve so much better than him.”

Time stood still after the words left Namjoon’s mouth. You watched him take in a deep breath, as if bracing himself, all but flinching away as if expecting you to yell at him or tell him how wrong he was. He grimaced as if he’d said something he hadn’t meant to, but you knew he meant those words and his feelings behind them. You’d known Namjoon a long time, and you knew he always meant what he said.

He wasn’t wrong, and that’s what made you suck in a harsh breath, as if punched in the gut by his words. You hadn’t realized your hands were shaking until you tried to run a hand through your hair. You dropped your hands to your lap in an attempt to hide that fact from Namjoon. He was always so observant, though, you figured he’d already noticed. If he was observant enough to realize what a piece of shit your boyfriend Mark was without even knowing about half the things Mark did to you, then surely he noticed something as obvious as your nerves.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon quickly added, and you knew he meant that he was sorry he upset you, not sorry that he meant what he said.

This was your first time seeing Namjoon in weeks. Mark got so jealous, you figured it was better to just avoid an argument than do something to provoke him, like hanging out with your best friend of more than fifteen years who happened to be a man. Mark and Namjoon both didn’t know that you were in love with Namjoon, and you knew that was for the best.

This was the longest you’d ever been apart from Namjoon since first meeting him as a child, and when you’d asked him to come over, you were pretty sure he’d sprinted from his apartment to yours, knocking on your door only ten minutes later, out of breath and nearly breaking a sweat. He’d hugged you so tight the moment you’d opened the door, squeezing so hard your feet left the ground.

“I missed you so much,” he’d murmured against your neck, squeezing even tighter as he spoke. One of his hands had moved up to your hair, resting on the back of your head. “Are you okay?” It had been a long time since you’d felt someone be this gentle with you, or ask you a question like that, free from pretense or selfish motives. You knew Namjoon cared about you, even after so long apart.

His concern, though, made you want to push him away, as backwards as it sounded. You both knew your relationship with Mark wasn’t healthy. Namjoon didn’t know about the time Mark had hit you or how cruel he was or any of that, but he did know that Mark cut you off from your friends and didn’t treat you with the kindness Namjoon felt you deserved. He’d been very vocal about his dislike of Mark from the beginning, and for that you’d pushed him away, falling right into Mark’s trap.

But today, in a moment of clarity after months trapped in the fog, you’d called Namjoon and asked him to come over. You wanted out. You knew that it wasn’t going to get better, that being hit once was a sign of being hit again later on, or worse, and that the sliver of good you sometimes saw in Mark wasn’t worth sticking around for.

You’d told Namjoon most of this, the two of you sitting on your couch together in your tiny little loft apartment, his hands holding yours, his thumbs stroking your skin as you told him almost everything. You avoided the part about being hit, and everything about the awful sex. God, what would Mark do if you tried to leave him? You’d only been with him a few months, but he was possessive. Violent. Controlling. You knew you couldn’t leave without a fight. You didn’t say that, but Namjoon seemed to just know. He always seemed to know what you were feeling, what you needed, just what to say to make you smile.

Namjoon had listened to everything you’d said, and then he’d said it and you’d tensed up, frozen in fear, shock, and some other emotion you didn’t know. His hands holding yours squeezed gently, and you pulled your hands away.

You deserve so much better than him.

You knew he was right, that you deserved better. You didn’t know why his words hit you so hard, though. Maybe it was the full culmination of the last few months, everything you’ve been through with that fucking asshole treating you like an object and a punching bag, suddenly coming down on you like a knife chopping off an infected limb. You opened your mouth as if to breathe, but nothing happened.

“Y/N?” Namjoon said slowly, his deep voice so gentle and caring, as always. You looked up at him as he bit his lip, tilting his head for a better look as he searched your face for your current emotion, concern evident in his warm brown eyes.

As observant as Namjoon was, there was one thing you were always thankful you’d kept from him. You’d been in love with him since the two of you were young, growing up together, dreaming about him every night as you entered puberty and adulthood. He was your best friend, and you were certain that he was the love of your life, and he had no idea. Mark was your first actual boyfriend, the perfect distraction, a rebound for the relationship you’d never had with Namjoon, and it had all turned so horribly wrong so quickly, the excitement and joy decaying into the fear and isolation you now felt.

And now Namjoon was here again, and you’d missed him so much, been apart for far too long, and you still loved him just as much as you ever did. You didn’t even know how many times you’d found yourself laying in bed after Mark had used you, fantasizing about Namjoon bursting in like some Prince Charming, kicking Mark’s ass and carrying you off into the sunset. You’d cried yourself to sleep alone in your bed, imagining Namjoon’s arms around you, his soft lips murmuring into your hair that everything was going to be okay, that he’d protect you and keep you safe forever. You felt pathetic wishing for that, knowing that you should be able to take care of yourself, but it was your only solace on your worst nights. Namjoon was your safe place, your source of hope, your moon in a starless sky.

You’d spent the last few months in your head like that, and now Namjoon was here, hinting at that care and devotion you’d only fantasized about in your darkest, most terrified moments. It was too much for you. He was too much. How had you forgotten what it felt like, to actually be cared for by him, even in just a friendly way, in such a short time? Your face felt too hot, your lungs too tight, your tears overflowing before you realized they were even there.

You took in a shaky breath, and Namjoon’s lips parted, his eyes horrified as if he thought he was the one making you cry. He moved to hug and comfort you, but stopped himself, his hands up as if he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Joon,” you said, your weak voice breaking as you held in your tears. God, you sounded so pathetic. “I…”

You wanted to tell him everything, the full truth, the entirety of the hell you’d been through, and you wanted him to hold you and never let go. You were scared he’d see you as weak or pathetic or a charity case, but you needed him to know. You needed someone to know, to help you escape, and Namjoon was all you had. You took in a deep breath, holding in your emotions before finally pushing your words out.

“He hit me.”

You focused just on breathing as Namjoon’s face paled, his lips parting and brow furrowing. You saw a thousand emotions play out on his face in an instant, from anger to confusion to fear to something you didn’t recognize.

“When?” he said suddenly, his voice a low growl. Was he angry at you?

You blinked a few times in surprise to his question, a tear escaping on each side from your blinking. “Um,” you started, your throat feeling almost too tight to speak. Your head hurt from all the tension and held-in tears, and from your fear of Namjoon’s reaction to this. “Maybe a month ago.”

Namjoon nodded, setting his jaw in that way he always did when you knew he was deep in thought. You saw his lips quivering, as if he too was just barely holding back his own tears. His face was almost turning red, his expression pained, his eyes showing what you thought might be betrayal. His hand was beside yours on the couch between you, only inches apart. You wanted him to hold your hands again, like he had been before you’d pulled away, but you didn’t want to cling to him.

“Around the last time we saw each other, right?” he said slowly, and you nodded.

“That same day, after I got home from seeing you,” you confirmed, and Namjoon’s jaw set again, eyes red and watering.

“When else? Was it more than once, Y/N?” he said, his voice cracking as he said your name, and you shook your head, sniffling. He let out a sigh, maybe in relief, though you could still see the pain and concern in his eyes.

“I don’t know what to do, Joon,” you said, your voice cracking too as you finally broke, your tears spilling from you as Namjoon quickly moved to wrap his arms around you, pulling you to him.

He held you like that for you don’t know how long. When you shook, he held you tighter, pulling you into his lap bridal style as the two of you clung to each other, your fists holding onto the front of his shirt like you were afraid he’d slip away from you. His face was buried in your hair, yours against his chest, and he hugged you tighter as you sobbed, your breathing now fast and shallow, your head barely above water.

“It’s you and me, Y/N,” he murmured into your hair, his deep voice lulling you. “No matter what, I’m with you. I don’t care what I have to do, I’m going to keep you safe.” His eyes squeezed tight as he held you. You could feel his warm breath on your hair, his big arms secured around you.

You hadn’t cried like this in what felt like years. You’d let yourself cry a little sometimes, like in the shower or alone in your bed, but you hadn’t openly wept, especially around another person, since you were a child. As hopeless as you felt, crying this hard felt almost cleansing to you, even as your emotions overwhelmed you. It was like a release, a great flood coming to wash away all of your misery. Even as you gasped and hyperventilated, face red, tears streaming down your cheeks and wetting Namjoon’s shirt where you pressed your face, you realized this was the best you’d felt in weeks. You could express how you felt in a way you’d been too scared to do before now.

Your body shook and Namjoon only held you tighter, as if squeezing his love into you. His large, warm hands were gentle where they laid on you, his arms wrapped so carefully around your small, shaking form. You realized then that he was kissing the top of your head, over and over and over, his soft lips pressing so gently into your hair. You could hear him humming to you, the noise a low rumble, and you found it comforting, your sobs finally breaking as your breathing steadied. You still shook, tears still fell from your eyes, but you took in careful breaths, no longer whimpering or weeping. Namjoon was your rock, and as you hugged him, sniffling and calming yourself down, the storm around you began to pass.

You pulled back from his chest enough to look up at him. Namjoon’s eyes were red, the lines of dried tears running down his cheeks. He parted his lips as the two of you made eye contact, his brown eyes searching yours. You always loved his eyes, how his irises were so dark, they blended in with his pupils. Right now, his expressive eyes looked heartbroken, the pain drawing his eyebrows together.

You’d never been in his lap like this before. Not even when you were innocent kids playing together. His body was so warm, his presence like a fire in a cold, dark cave. Before you realized what you were doing, you raised your hand to his cheek, touching his burning skin, feeling the way he took in a sharp breath at your touch. He was watching you so carefully, not moving or reacting to your hand cupping his cheek, but you saw the way his skin flushed red, felt his heart racing and pulsing where your other hand rested on his chest.

“I love you, Joon,” you said, your confession barely above a whisper. You needed him to know, even if he didn’t feel the same way, even if he misunderstood and thought you were talking about friendship. You needed him to know as badly as you just needed him.

Namjoon’s eyes bored into yours, the molten intensity making you unable to look away as both of you just breathed and looked at each other. Time stood still in that moment, your faces only a few inches apart, his arms still tight around you, your hands resting on his cheek and his heart.

“I love you too, Y/N,” he said carefully, looking back and forth between your eyes. His breathing was slow and deliberate, his plush lips parted, and you wanted him to know how badly you needed him. He continued speaking, though, and you held your breath when you heard the first words out of his mouth. “I always have, angel. I love you more than anything, more than life. You’re my everything, and it’s been killing me to be apart from you. I just wanted you to be happy, but now that I know that you aren’t and that he’s hurting you, I’m never letting you go. I promise I’ll keep you safe no matter what. I’ll do whatever you want, just, please, please… please don’t push me away again. Please.”

He teared up again as he pleaded with you, his deep voice almost sounding like just speaking was becoming hard for him as he pushed his words out. His face contorted as if he was in agony while he begged you not to push him away, and you nodded eagerly, attempting to stop yourself from tearing up again, too.

“I won’t, Joonie, I promise. I love you so much. More than just friends.” Those last four words left your lips before you could stop yourself, and Namjoon froze when he heard them. He looked like he was processing what you’d said, turning the words over in his head, calculating and examining the situation from all sides as his wide eyes looked into yours. God, what had you done? You couldn’t even make yourself think of the consequences of him hearing those words, your emotions too exhausted from your tears.

Namjoon leaned in then, slowly, watching for you to pull back or show any other sign of not wanting him close. He leaned in until his forehead touched yours, and you held in a sigh at the thought of him being so close to you, the heat of his skin radiating off of him, his scent that you’d missed more than anything intoxicating you and filling your senses. The tip of his nose nuzzled yours, his warm breath kissing your lips, less than a few inches away now, and you moved your thumb on his cheek, stroking his skin and making his eyes fall closed as he let out a broken sigh.

“I love you too, princess,” he said, making you still your thumb on his skin as you looked at him. “In every way it’s possible to love another person, I love you.”

You took in a deep breath, feeling Namjoon move his hand on your back slowly, his fingers spreading out to touch more of you. His eyes were still closed, his forehead still pressed to yours, and he leaned in to where you cupped his cheek. For a moment you thought he couldn’t possibly mean what he said — it was too unrealistic, that the man you love more than anything felt the same way, that your fantasies had a chance of becoming real. But here he was, saying that, touching you like this, and you wanted so badly to believe him.

“Will you say it again, baby? Please, just once?” he pleaded, opening his eyes to look at you, and you nodded slightly, as best you could with your foreheads still connected.

“I love you, Joonie,” you said. The moment his name left your lips, his mouth connected with yours.

He kissed you like he thought you’d be ripped from his arms at any moment, like this was the only chance he’d ever get to pour his affection into you, to show you how much and how deeply he cared for and loved you. Kissing Namjoon felt like finally being able to breathe after being held underwater far too long. You gasped into his mouth, feeling him as he moved his lips with yours and pulled your body somehow even closer to his, not feeling close enough even like this. He groaned into you, tilting his head to kiss you deeper, and you opened your mouth for him when you felt his tongue tracing your lower lip and licking into your mouth. His hand raised to cup your cheek, the other wrapping tighter around you as he kept your body pressed to his. When you moaned into his mouth, he moaned back, like a dialogue, tilting his head to the other side to kiss deeper still.

You could hear the quiet wet noises of his mouth and tongue moving with your lips, the little noises he made as he tried to hold in his moans, the sound of both of you gasping for air in the split seconds between deep kisses, and you wanted more. You wanted to hear these sounds forever. He felt and tasted so good, his touches so perfect, you already knew you’d become addicted.

You shifted in his lap then, moving to straddle his legs as he wrapped both arms around you again. He moaned into your kiss, losing himself, his warm tongue swirling in your mouth as his soft lips still moved with yours. He was better than you ever imagined, his big hands gentle yet firm, his kisses overwhelming you. He was a force of nature — purposeful, cleansing, cathartic — and you let him take you, though you knew you were already his. Now that you knew he felt the same way, you didn’t want him to ever let go of you. You didn’t care about the consequences or what Mark would do to you; you just wanted Namjoon, the love of your life, forever.

You moved your hips against him instinctively, unconsciously grinding down enough to feel his already half-hard erection, and that was what made him pull away.

“We can’t do this,” Namjoon gasped against your lips, moving back just enough to press his forehead to yours again. The two of you breathed in each other’s exhales, lips still almost touching as he spoke. “I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you and your emotions. Let’s wait until you’re feeling better, okay?”

“I feel fine,” you murmured to him, nuzzling your nose against his and feeling his whole body tense up. “Please, Joonie. I love you so much.” That was the name you’d called him when you were young, before either of you even knew what this kind of love was. You’d grown up calling him that, and you were the only one who’d ever used that nickname. Hearing it now, when you were in his lap and your lips had just been on his, made him moan, his eyes falling closed as he took in a shaky breath.

“Please,” you begged, your lips tracing his. “I need you. I’ve always needed you.” You pressed your lips to the corner of his mouth, feeling his grip on your hips tighten for just a pulse. “It’s always been you, Joonie. I’ve always been yours.”

He bit his lip, loving hearing those words from you more than anything in the world. He was trying so hard to be good and honorable, but you didn’t want that. You wanted him, needed him more than anything, and you could tell he was just as worked up as you were.

“Baby, are you sure?” he said. His pupils were blown with lust and bloodshot from his tears, his lips kiss-swollen and red, his honey voice a deep, quiet rumble. “Are you sure you want to… cheat on him? I want you more than anything and I know that he’s terrible, but I don’t want you to rush into anything or do something you’ll regret. You’re in a vulnerable state right now, we shouldn’t…”

Namjoon had hesitated saying the word cheat, and you understood why. You understood all of what he was saying and why he felt this way. Neither of you cared about Mark’s feelings, but Namjoon was still worried. Knowing him, his mind was moving a hundred miles a minute, thinking through every potential outcome to this moment.

“Joon,” you started, desperate now as you grabbed at his shoulders. “I want to cheat on him. I hate him so much. He’s so awful to me, and sex with him is… it hurts, Joonie. It’s all about him, and it’s painful because I’m not into it and he does nothing to change that, and I hate every moment of it.”

Namjoon took in a harsh breath as he listened to that, setting his jaw as if holding in his anger. You knew Namjoon had never been violent or volatile a day in his life, but part of you wondered what he’d do if he ever saw Mark again after today.

“Sometimes, to make it go by faster, or to make it better for me… I think about you, Joon. I imagine it’s you making me feel good instead of him using me. When he leaves, I imagine you holding me as I cry. If that’s cheating, I’ve already been cheating on him for months.”

Namjoon pressed his forehead against yours again as he closed his eyes and breathed in hard, as if holding in a sob and just barely containing his emotions. He hugged you again, squeezing your body to him, and you could feel that he was shaking from what you’d told him.

You felt numb to all the pain you’d been through. None of it mattered anymore, because now Namjoon was here. You trusted him and loved him and knew he’d always be here for you, just like he’d always been, and all that mattered was that you were together. You wanted to be with him, you wanted him to make love to you right now, to take all the sadness and pain and heartbreak away and replace it with his love, the way only he could, and from the way he held you, you suspected he might want the same thing.

“I love you,” he said, and he turned his head and kissed your cheek. Another kiss to your cheekbone, then the skin between your hairline and the corner of your eye, then your temple, and then he was covering that entire side of your face in slow, gentle kisses, bringing his hand up to hold your other cheek as he worked. He was murmuring against your skin between each kiss, “I love you, I love you, I love you,” over and over, so quiet you could barely hear him, never taking his lips off of you fully. You could feel the wetness of his tears, and you took in a shaky breath, holding back your own. You were done crying. You were here with Namjoon, and you knew he’d never bring you pain or tears. You were safe now.

He pressed one final kiss to the center of your cheek, much more firmly than the others, before stilling and resting his forehead against your temple.

“He’s never going to hurt you again, angel,” Namjoon murmured into your skin. “I’m going to take care of you, keep you safe. I’m gonna cover your body in kisses every day, worship you, spoil you rotten like the princess you are. You’re my princess, my baby, my love, my angel, my best friend, my everything. He’ll never touch you ever again, baby, I promise. I’m going to protect you no matter what.”

You nodded with his words, agreeing with him. You wanted that from him more than anything in the world, and his words sounded almost too good to be true. You had to be dreaming, because Namjoon loving you like this seemed so impossible.

You kissed him then, before the mirage could disappear, and Namjoon kissed you back immediately, firmer, more sure of himself now. His hand on your cheek held you perfectly in place as his tongue moved in your mouth again, deeper now as he claimed your mouth as his. Whatever shred of not wanting to push you too far too fast that he had been holding on to melted away as he moved his lips with yours so surely, perfectly, lovingly.

“Make love to me, Joonie. I need you,” you begged against his lips, writhing in his lap as you whined and pouted.

“I will, sweetheart. Every day for the rest of my life,” he said, giving you another firm kiss before you pulled back again. Namjoon’s mouth chased after your lips, not wanting to stop kissing you yet.

“Now,” you whined, not wanting to wait any longer.

Looking between your eyes and your mouth, Namjoon nodded, agreeing with your pleas. “Okay, princess,” he said, his eyes almost dazed from his lust. He scooped you up in his arms, your legs wrapping around his waist as he stood carefully. His hands held you at your thighs, squeezing to secure you. Out of instinct, you expected that to hurt — it had always hurt when Mark squeezed your thighs. But the pain never came.

Namjoon’s lips never left yours as he stumbled over to your bed, nearly tripping over a pile of clothes and a pillow that had fallen as you’d slept last night. You giggled into his kisses, bracing yourself on his shoulders and holding onto him tighter, until he made it to the bed and sat you down. He laid you back slowly, carefully, and you felt yourself sinking into your plush comforter, your hands and legs never letting go of him where you’d latched on.

Hovering over you, Namjoon moved to your neck, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses across your skin, his tongue tracing circles over your pulse. His large hands moved down the curves of your body, like a sculptor shaping wet clay, and you moaned for him, right in his ear, and he let out a groan of his own in response to you. You felt and heard him sucking at your skin, tilting his head to get the perfect angle as he worked, and you hoped what he was doing would leave a big obvious hickey. You wanted it to, more than anything. You wanted there to be proof of this happening, for everyone to see.

You couldn’t stop yourself from thinking of Mark in that moment. However, for the first time in months, you were happy when you thought of him. You pictured the shocked look on his stupid smug face upon finding out that your best friend had fucked you while you were still in a relationship with him. You imagined what he’d say, how he’d react knowing that Namjoon, the man he’d been so jealous of, had come and stolen you away, and you felt yourself smiling at the thought, knowing Namjoon would always keep you safe.

It was petty and childish, but the thrill of having this secret with Namjoon, of being Namjoon’s lover when you were still technically Mark’s girlfriend, was exhilarating. You knew exactly what Namjoon would say to that — that you weren’t his lover or Mark’s girlfriend, you were just you, your own person, but you let yourself have this. You weren’t Mark’s anymore. In opening up to Namjoon emotionally and physically, you defied Mark and his control. You were yours as much as you were Namjoon’s, and you were free.

Namjoon kissed down your neck, suckling and biting at your collarbone as he pulled your loose t-shirt down as much as he could, stretching it against your chest. You brought one hand up to his hair, sighing and closing your eyes as you felt his lips moving on your skin. Everywhere he kissed and licked, he left behind trace amounts of his saliva, goosebumps spreading across your body from the cold air hitting that moisture.

One of his hands moved down to your stomach, his fingers teasing under your shirt but not going any farther than your ribs. His hand was hot to the touch, his whole body burning like a furnace. You could feel the hint of his weight on top of you, though he mostly held himself above your body, careful not to suffocate you. You wanted him to, though. You wanted more.

“Joonie,” you sighed, arching your back, presenting yourself to him. He came back up to your face, cupping your cheek as he kissed the corner of your mouth.

“I’m here, princess,” he murmured into your skin, nuzzling the tip of his nose against your cheek.

“Please,” you whined for him, squeezing your legs around him. You knotted your hand in his hair, and he moaned, closing his eyes, apparently loving that feeling. You’d have to keep that in mind.

“What do you want, baby?” he asked you. You were almost too distracted to answer, feeling Namjoon peppering kisses along your cheek while he waited for you.

“Touch me, Joon. Clothes off,” you said, and he didn’t wait for another word. Namjoon sat back between your parted thighs, sitting on his heels as he quickly pulled his shirt off over his head and threw it somewhere behind him. He started messing with his belt buckle, but upon looking up and seeing you just watching him, he smiled.

You were just laying there, legs spread, a lazy smile on your face as you looked up and down his body. You knew that he worked out a lot and focused on his chest, but god, he was too sexy, his chest large and firm, his shoulders wide, his muscles defined. To you, he looked like a protector. The perfect man, the perfect lover, the man of your dreams.

You reached out for him, making grabby hands as he laughed and came back to you, laying on top of you again and letting you run your hands all over him as he covered your face in kisses.

“You’re too cute, baby girl,” he murmured, drawing hearts with the tip of his nose on your cheek. Reaching down, he pulled your shirt up your body, and you shifted, wiggling to help him pull your t-shirt up and off. You weren’t wearing anything underneath it, and the moment Namjoon saw your bare chest, you swore his mouth started watering, his eyes glazing over with lust.

His hands and mouth immediately fell to your breasts, massaging firmly as he took one nipple into his mouth, his tongue swirling as you arched your back and let out a long moan for him. He moaned right back, the vibration of the deep sound spreading through your chest and going straight down to your throbbing clitoris.

“That feels so good, Joonie,” you sighed, bringing one hand up to rest in his hair, playing with the soft, short hair at the nape of his neck. He sucked and pulled with his teeth, never doing anything too hard or too much, his hand massaging in pulses lazily while his mouth worked so diligently.

He left your breasts then, kissing down your ribs, his hands running down your sides like he was feeling the shape of your body. He kissed your stomach, in a circle around your belly button, making you giggle when he nipped at your hipbones. His breath, his hands, his kisses were all so warm and gentle, you caught yourself closing your eyes and relaxing, never having felt more comfortable around another person.

“Mmm, you’re so soft, princess,” he murmured against your lower stomach, trailing kisses along the waistline of your pajama pants. “Can’t wait to kiss your pretty pussy.”

You moaned at his words, spreading your legs for him further out of instinct. He’d barely touched you yet, and already you were dripping for him, your core tightening around nothing with every press of his full lips and gentle squeeze of his large hands. You needed him so badly, more than you’ve ever needed anything, and you told him that, grabbing his hair with both hands the moment you felt him carefully sliding your pajama pants down your legs.

Namjoon kissed every inch of your skin as it was revealed to him, pressing his lips to your hips, your thighs, your mound over your panties. Once your pants were off, he returned between your legs, placing an open-mouthed kiss right where you were soaking through your thin panties, his lips suctioning and his tongue flicking against the fabric like he was trying to lap up your wetness.

You keened, grabbing hold of his hair with both hands and arching your back as you moaned his name. Nobody had ever done this to you, gone down on you or even hinted at it, but you’d imagined Namjoon doing this to you a hundred times, knowing in your heart that he’d take such good care of you.

Namjoon pressed his tongue against your clitoris through your panties, and you rolled your hips, moving against his mouth as you cried out for him. He kept his tongue pressed there firmly as you moved, groaning as you pulled his hair, and the noise he’d made vibrated against your clit in a way that made you bite your lip and whimper, your body shaking with need.

“Please, Joon,” you moaned, wiggling as you attempted to somehow spread your legs even further for him.

“You’re so wet, baby. Is this all for me?” he teased, pressing another kiss against your covered slit.

Namjoon slowly eased your panties down your legs, his hands touching as much of your skin as he could on the way down. His eyes drank you in, his lips parting with every inch of you he took in. And then you were bare before him, your legs spread once again, core soaked and dripping, your wetness making your pussy glisten in the low light of your room, sparkling for him as far as he was concerned. You were the most precious thing he’d ever laid his eyes on, his princess, a goddess he intended to dedicate his life to worshipping at the alter of.

Namjoon was looking at you like you were an angel fallen from heaven, eyes lost in wonder as he looked at your body, and you blushed, biting your lips and covering your face with your hands. You wanted to close your legs under his intense stare — not wanting him to stop, but feeling too shy under his gaze. You felt the bed dip, however, as Namjoon braced himself on one hand beside your head, his other hand taking one of your hands where you covered your face and bringing it up to his mouth, kissing your palm while maintaining unbroken eye contact.

“Y/N,” he murmured, moving your hand he’d just kissed to rest on his cheek. He stroked your hair back out of your face slowly, tilting his head as he just looked at you with a small smile. He moved his hand down to cup your cheek, his thumb stroking your bottom lip as he spoke. “I’m gonna make you feel so good, princess. I’m gonna kiss your sweet little pussy, make love to you with my tongue, hear all the sweet sounds you make for me. Do you want that, pretty girl?”

You whimpered, nodding and biting your lip as you looked up at him.

“I don’t think I heard you, baby,” he teased, leaning in and just barely biting at the roundness of your cheek as you grinned and giggled under him. “Do you want me to do that?”

“Yes, Joonie,” you said, and he pressed one gentle kiss to your cheek before moving back down your body, your legs spreading for him again out of instinct.

Settling in between your legs, Namjoon put both hands on your thighs, his thumbs massaging slow circles as he looked between your face and your wet slit. He sighed happily, a dumb smile on his face, and even just his exhale hitting your wet clitoris had you tensing and biting your lip.

“Are you sensitive, baby?” he cooed before leaning in, breathing through his mouth slowly as he hovered just over your clitoris without touching it. He puckered his lips then, blowing cold air on your clit, and you cried out for him, both hands jumping to his hair and pulling.

“Namjoon,” you moaned, lifting your head and looking down at him. Seeing Namjoon between your legs, his mouth only an inch from where you were willing to beg him to touch you, had you moaning again.

“You smell so good, angel. Your pussy’s so pretty,” Namjoon said, letting you feel the breath of his words against your throbbing clitoris. He was enjoying this, a playful smile on his plush lips, and you decided you couldn’t wait any longer.

“Please, Joonie. I need you,” you said, tugging on his hair, and you knew that was all it would take to break him. He’d closed his eyes when you’d pulled his hair, biting his lip at the feeling and from being so close to you and hearing you like this.

Namjoon leaned in then without another word, licking a long, wide stripe from entrance to clit. You cried out, attempting to spread your thighs wider for him and lifting your legs, presenting yourself to him. He wrapped his arms around your thighs, holding your legs in place like that up in the air, and licked you again, this time burying his face in between your legs and dipping his tongue inside you, moving his mouth like he was making out with your cunt.

Nobody had ever done anything like this to you. It felt better than you’d ever imagined, and you moaned loudly, louder than you’d ever been during sex, even under your own hand. His lips sucked up your wetness like he was trying to drink you, his tongue diving into your pussy and licking at your walls, fucking in and out of you like he’d promised.

You were certain the tip of his tongue was so deep it circled your cervix, the width of his wet, firm tongue making you squeeze down around him. His lips pressed around your entrance as he tried to move deeper, an obscene wet slurping sound filling the air as he sucked you up. When you pulled his hair, he growled like a territorial animal, burying his face in harder, the tip of his nose pressing against your folds. He was so intense, but every touch, every movement, every swirl of his tongue had you shivering, your back arching as you held onto his hair for your life.

“Joon, that feels so good,” you whimpered, your weak voice nearly unrecognizable to your own ears. “Please don’t stop…” You trailed off with a long moan as he moved up to your clit, sucking it between his soft lips and rolling it lazily with his tongue. He moaned back to you just so you could feel it against your clit, and you swore the sky opened up, the universe stopping as he worked his mouth on you.

One of his hands left your thigh, coming around as he circled your entrance with one fingertip.

“You’re so soft, baby. So wet, so perfect,” Namjoon said against your clit, his fingertip dipping in less than an inch, making you arch your back. You were drawn like a bow, completely in tune with every touch he gave you, desperate for him. You were willing to do anything for him, as long as he kept touching you like this.

“Your pussy tastes so sweet, princess. Better than I ever imagined.” As if to illustrate his point, Namjoon ducked his head again, pressing his tongue to your entrance and licking up along your folds, letting you feel the texture of his tongue as he moved in one slow motion. As he reached your clit, he slid his middle finger into you fully, curling it in a ‘come hither’ motion that had you repeating his name and nearly pulling his hair out.

“Does that feel good, baby?” he said, his deep voice sounding almost strained. He was enjoying this as much as you were, dying with each whimper of his name and tug on his hair. You looked down at him and nodded, pleading him with your eyes, but your head fell back against the mattress as he pulled his finger almost all the way out before sliding it back in again, this time with his ring finger as well. He moved his fingers slowly, seeking out your g-spot and stroking it when he found it, your back arching dramatically up off the bed as you yelled his name. You yanked his hair, pulling his face back against you, and he smiled, kissing your clit where his mouth was now firmly pressed.

“I feel you squeezing my fingers, pretty girl,” he said against your clit, his fingers still stroking so deep inside you. “You’re so tight, I don’t think I’m gonna last when my cock’s finally inside you.”

You figured he was trying to kill you, because he pulled his fingers out, making you whimper for him, only to slide three fingers fully back in, your cry turning into one long, loud moan that almost sounded like his name.

“F-fuck, god, Joon,” you moaned, feeling so wonderfully full and stretched open by him, your walls squeezing down on him so hard you swore you could feel the bumps of his knuckles inside you.

When he brought his mouth back to your clit, sucking on it lightly as his fingers worked, you thought you might die from the pure pleasure he was giving you, your breathing shaky, your legs squeezing around his head until he held one of them down with his free hand. An almost-disgusting wet sloshing sound hit your ears with each curl of his fingers, your wetness covering his hand, soaking him.

“Come all over my fingers, baby. I know you’re so close,” he cooed, and the moment he reattached his lips to your clit and suctioned as hard as he could, you did exactly as he said.

Your orgasm ripped through your body, your pussy squeezing his fingers almost painfully, your legs twitching, a quiet clicking sound escaping from your throat as you tried to breathe but couldn’t, your mouth open in a breathless gasp as your whole body shook. He didn’t stop, moving his fingers and lips steadily as he worked you through your earth-shattering orgasm, moving with you, his mouth attached to you as you writhed under him. You held onto him by his hair, the only thought your mind was capable of holding being how good he felt worshipping you like this, pumping electric pleasure into your body with every curl of his fingers and movement of his wicked tongue.

You released your first breath harshly, a moan escaping you so loudly, you were sure it shook the walls. You cried out when you felt Namjoon pull his fingers away, and cried out again when his mouth went to your entrance, sucking up your release like a man starving. He nuzzled in harder, pressing his whole face against you like he was trying to suffocate himself, his tongue moving inside you and licking at your walls while his lips sucked you clean.

Namjoon moaned into you between his obscene, messy slurps, your legs twitching from intense oversensitivity. He held onto your thighs with both hands, bobbing his head with each movement of your hips as he kept his plush lips attached to your cunt.

“Joonie, too much,” you cried out, and he immediately pulled back, climbing back up your body and hovering over you again, careful to keep his weight off of you.

“There’s my good girl,” he murmured, cupping your cheek with one hand while he pressed gentle kisses to the other side of your face, your wetness on his mouth and chin making you giggle and squirm away from him. He held onto you though, kissing your cheek and all over your face anyway, and you squealed in fake-disgust, your adorable laughter music to Namjoon’s ears.

“You did so good for me, baby. My good, precious, beautiful baby girl,” he praised, finally catching you and pressing one firm, wet kiss against your cheek. You smiled, loving being close to him like this. It felt so natural, like you’d done this together a thousand times, not like it was the first time he ever laid between your legs.

“I want you, Joonie. Want you inside me,” you said, reaching up to stroke back his hair where you’d been pulling earlier, now sticking out wildly.

His smile fell, his eyes losing their playfulness as he studied your expression.

“Are you sure, Y/N?” he said, taking in a slow breath as he looked back and forth between your eyes. “We don’t have to rush, sweetheart. You don’t have to say or do anything just because you think it’s what I want. I love you and want you more than anything, but I want you to feel comfortable and safe. That’s all that matters to me.”

You reached up and held his face with both hands. You weren’t sure how you’d gotten this lucky, to have such a wonderful man love you. You looked down at his mouth, seeing it glistening from your wetness, his lips slightly swollen from so many kisses. He parted his lips under your stare, watching the way you looked at him, and you leaned in and kissed him, your eyelashes tickling his cheeks as you closed your eyes.

“I want this, Joon,” you murmured against his lips. “If you want me.”

“Of course I want you,” he said, nuzzling the tip of his nose against yours. “I’ll always want you. Always have.”

“Then show me,” you said, reaching down for his belt buckle, fumbling with it between your body and his. “I want you, Joonie. Please. I need you.”

Namjoon kicked off his pants the moment you undid his belt. Now in only his briefs, he pressed himself against your wet core, grinding his erection through the one final layer between you two as he claimed your lips in a deep kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue, and you moaned at that and the feeling of his thick, hard erection, your wet core soaking his briefs.

“Condom?” he said against your mouth, his breathing ragged and hand firm on your hip as he started to let himself get worked up.

“Table,” you said, glancing up to your left at your bedside table. Namjoon reached up, pulling the drawer out quickly in his frantic search, accidentally pulling it out completely and dropping it to the floor in surprise. You giggled, burying your face in against his neck.

“Sorry, baby,” he said, moving off of you and sitting on the side of the bed as he picked up one of the condom wrappers and slid off his briefs.

Your breath nearly caught in your throat when you saw his cock bounce up against his stomach, so hard and needy from his infinite teasing. He’d felt big grinding against you, but god, he was huge. You could see a thick vein wrapping around the underside, the mushroom head dark red from his need. He was decently long, but fuck, Namjoon’s cock was so fucking thick.

“Fuck, Joon, you’re a monster,” you said, and he looked back at you, one eyebrow raised. He smiled when he saw you blatantly staring at his erection, actually blushing in his shyness.

You looked up at his face, swallowing hard. “Is it bad that it turns me on so much, thinking about how you’re better than him in literally every way? And I do mean every way,” you said, glancing down at his cock again, and Namjoon laughed, covering his face with one hand.

“Well, hopefully in a minute, you won’t be thinking about him at all,” Namjoon said, and you couldn’t help biting your lip in anticipation.

“Is that so?” you said, a smug smile teasing at the corners of your lips.

“It is,” he said. He opened the condom packet with his teeth, throwing the wrapper at the broken drawer on the ground and sliding the rubber down his length. Turning back toward you, Namjoon moved to his knees, laying back between your legs that spread and wrapped around him. “I’m gonna fuck you so good, my name will be the only thing you can think of.”

You giggled, finding his words cheesy, even though you knew he was more than capable of keeping his promises. Your laughter died in your throat, though, when you felt him rubbing the head of his cock against your pussy, circling it before moving up to rub against your clit.

“Fuck,” you sighed, grabbing at his shoulders, bracing yourself and attempting to pull him closer with your legs.

“Are you ready, baby?” Namjoon said, his beautiful deep voice making your eyes fall closed and thighs spread further as he lined himself up with your entrance. You nodded, but Namjoon touched the tip of his nose to yours, stroking your hair back from your face with the hand of the arm he was bracing himself on. “Tell me out loud, princess.”

“I’m ready, Joon. I want you so bad, I love you, I need—”

He cut you off by pushing in, not even halfway, but the stretch had you crying out and digging your fingernails into his skin.

“F-fuck, god,” Namjoon moaned, pressing his face in against your neck, his breath warm on your skin. You felt yourself squeezing him in pulses completely unconsciously as your pussy adjusted to his thick size, stretching for him, taking him. “Mmm, god, you’re so fucking tight. Your pussy’s so perfect, baby.”

“You’re so big, Joonie. Feels so good,” you said, bringing one hand up to knot in his hair again, just how you now knew he liked it. Namjoon groaned at the feeling and your praise, rocking his hips slowly as he eased into you another inch, pacing himself glacially slow at first as you got used to him. His hand he’d used to line himself up with your entrance was now on your thigh, holding your body to his as he eased in further.

You felt his hips press to yours as he bottomed out, both of you gasping at how tight you were around him. You felt so full, stuffed to the brim; you swore the head of his cock was in your guts. You shifted your hips, attempting to somehow take him even further, but he stilled you, his hands holding your body perfectly still. You realized his breathing was fast, his forehead pressed against your neck, his whole body still as he tried to remain in control and not lose himself too quickly.

“You feel so good,” he murmured, kissing your collarbone. “You take me so well, baby. Feels better than anything I’ve ever felt in my life.”

You stroked his hair, feeling as his breathing drew steadier as he calmed himself down and regained his composure. You could feel yourself and Namjoon both throbbing where your bodies joined, your heartbeats matching up, and you needed him to move.

“Joonie, please,” you sighed, squeezing him with your arms and legs as you tried to roll your hips under him.

Namjoon groaned, pulling almost all the way out before sliding back in, just hard enough to make your breasts bounce from the movement under Namjoon’s chest. He moved his hand to your back, wrapping his arm around you so that you arched up into him, changing the angle just enough that the next time he rocked his hips, he hit the spot inside you that made you cry out in ecstasy, the same spot he’d left his fingerprints on when fingering you so thoroughly. He chased after that spot, rolling his hips and picking up his pace until you could hear the audible, graphic sounds of skin smacking against wet skin and his cock thrusting so perfectly inside your drenched cunt.

Each time Namjoon entered you, it felt like he was somehow hitting even deeper and harder. You held onto him by his hair, your other hand scratching down his back as you moaned his name in his ear, over and over and over with each of his hard thrusts. He was sweating now, his skin glistening from it, sweat nearly dripping off of him, his hair feeling wet from it, and you wanted to lick him clean. You felt like you could smell his pheromones in the air, released with his sweat, and you swore you’d never been more attracted to him than this moment. He was pure, raw sex. He moaned and growled as he fucked you, holding your body to him, and you grasped at his shoulders, feeling his hot, flushed skin moving under your fingernails, the taut muscles in his back tensing and moving as he worked so hard.

“You feel so fucking good, baby,” he moaned, his arm wrapped around you pulling you up toward him harder. “I love you so fucking much, Y/N…”

You felt so small under his large, manly body, but in a good way; you felt like he could put you in his pocket, carry you around and keep you safe forever. You loved how sexy he was; his deep voice, his big hands, his large, muscular, sweaty body. You loved hearing him call you his baby, his princess, all the loving names he came up with. You loved how good he was to you, how he treated you with kindness and love and respect and care. He made you feel safe and loved, and he was yours and you were his.

Nothing else existed in this moment besides Namjoon and the pleasure he gave you. The whole universe was just the two of you in your bed, making love, your bodies fusing and becoming one. His hips smacked against yours, and you heard him as he breathed hard, letting out short moans every few thrusts, his breathing muffled against your neck. You were so close again already, your moans becoming desperate, needy pleas, his name falling from your lips like a prayer, your mind entering near-delirium as you clawed at his back and pulled his hair so hard it tilted his head back.

His cock had to be hitting your cervix with every hard thrust. You felt him in your guts, his thick girth stretching you out, your thighs burning from your exertion just taking him. He was too fucking good, and you felt yourself drawing closer and closer to the knife’s edge. You’d never felt anything this good, pleasure building up inside you like a dam about to burst.

“Come for me, please, baby. God, please,” Namjoon moaned, and you realized he was begging you, smacking his hips to yours as hard as he could.

Namjoon shifted then, bracing himself on the arm underneath you now and bringing his other hand down to grip your thigh, raising it higher around his waist. He pounded into you, and you came in a silent scream, your body tensing under him as you held onto him, your orgasm so much more intense than your previous, more overwhelming that anything you’d ever felt. Your brain, lungs, and pussy felt like they were being split open in the most wonderful way, your body blooming like a flower under his radiance.

You felt yourself gushing, the feeling unfamiliar, warm, and wet, and Namjoon let out the loudest moan you’d heard from him yet, looking down between your bodies as he kept moving.

“God, are you fucking squirting? Jesus Christ, baby, that’s so fucking hot,” he groaned, his fingertips digging into your skin where he held you.

“What?” you said breathlessly, barely even aware of your surroundings at this point, your brain and body so thoroughly spent. You took in shaky breaths, gasping for air as you came down from your high, and you realized what he’d said and how your pussy was now a fucking flood zone, and you couldn’t make yourself care. You were both covered in his sweat and your cum, the feeling messy and filthy and so fucking good, and Namjoon held you to him so tight as your legs twitched in overstimulation, his pace steady as he chased after his own high.

“I love you so much, Y/N,” he groaned, moaning with each whimper you released. “You feel so good, baby. God, you’re so fucking sexy, I’m so close.”

As he continued thrusting into you, you saw flashes of your life with him through the fog of your post-orgasm haze — when your parents used to let you have sleepovers when you were both little, sharing a single bed before it meant anything. Kissing his cheek in the treehouse your father built for you when you were nine, both of you being too shy to ever speak of it again. Sitting on the bus together every day on the way to school, sleeping on his shoulder because you always stayed up too late. Going to prom together when you had nobody else. Cuddling on each other’s dorm beds and watching movies late on school nights. It had always been Namjoon. Loving him was as natural to you as breathing, a choice you’d never had to make yourself, though you knew you’d choose him every time.

You felt his thrusts becoming sloppy, his body shaking as he groaned against your neck, and you knotted your hand in his hair again, squeezing your legs around him. “Joonie,” you called to him, your voice a soft whimper. “Come for me, Joon, I want to feel you.”

Hearing his nickname now made him cry out, his hips bucking as his mouth fell open in a silent gasp as he finally came. He spilled inside the condom, his hips jerking as he tried to keep moving, and you could feel his cock twitching so deep inside you. You wished you could feel the warmth of his seed spreading inside your core, but you knew that step was for another time, somewhere in the long future you had ahead of you.

“I love you so fucking much, baby,” he groaned between his deep breaths, his hips grinding slowly against yours as he tried to stay inside you as deep as he could. He kissed your cheek, pressing his lips to the corner of your mouth as he kept speaking. “I love you, I love you, I love you, forever. Always have, angel. We were made to love each other.”

You pictured for just a split moment the awkward, adorable boy you’d grown up with, now the large, loving, perfect man between your legs, kissing your skin lazily as he just barely held himself up, his body heavy from his post-orgasm exhaustion. After all this time, Namjoon’s body felt like home. You were exactly where you belonged, where you were always meant to be, safe in his arms, sheltered from anything by his love. No matter what happened, you had him. You always had.

#btssmutclub #namjoon smut #namjoon #kim namjoon #bts smut #kim namjoon smut #bts scenario #bts fanfic #my writing

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stoopsbookstore · 5 years

Text

Highway to Heaven Hell (Part 2)

Chapter Synopsis- Y/N tries to keep the letters a secret from her teacher. One of her friends finds out her secret and reveals one of their own while another one starts to get suspicious.

"Y/N, you haven't been paying attention at all today. Is there something on your mind?" Ms. Hyoyeon slapped a book on Y/N's desk, startling the young girl who was staring at the dark side mansion, standing in its shadowy glory.

"No, Ms. Hyoyeon, I'm fine, just tired."

"Maybe if you weren't up all night with Johnny and Mark, you wouldn't be so exhausted. I assume you know very well what happened to the last heir that had been acting up?"

Y/N put her head down, "Yes, ma'am."

"Tell the class. Since you've been focused on something else," Ms. Hyoyeon gestured towards the building across from them, "since you happen to be the next in line."

The class had became quiet, as if someone had muted them with a clicker. Y/N felt the eyes on her as she gulped, opening her mouth to speak.

"Jeonghan had been hanging around some demons. He was supposed to be crowned as the next king of the light side due to completing the six miracles. He was late to his coronation and discovered over the gate with two demons called Minghao and Yu-"

"And Yuta and Taeil and Doyoung and Jaehyun and all of those other hellish creatures," Ms. Hyoyeon stared at Y/N, as if she knew Y/N was thinking about Jaehyun, "and they should not be fooled around with. Time's up for today, thank you, Princess Y/N, we'll pick up tomorrow."

Ms. Hyoyeon stressed the royal title as if it was poison on her tongue. As everyone picked up their possessions and filed out of the room, Ms. Hyoyeon stopped Y/N, tapping her shoulder.

"Ms. Hyoye-"

"What's on your mind, Y/N? You're the princess, you're supposed to be focused on your studies just in case you're chosen as the next heir and you're off staring at the dark side."

Y/N fiddled with the metal binding of the notebook she held, contemplating an answer, "I just... there's a lot on my mind."

"You know, Y/N, come sit," Ms. Hyoyeon gestured to a desk, sitting down as Y/N sighed, staring at the floor, "if this is about a boy, you don't need to worry about that. If this is about a girl, you don't need to worry about that. If this is about anything other than your future, don't worry about it, at least not now. I know you, you're a brilliant girl and you have a good head on your shoulders and I hope you'll make the right decision. But if this has something to do with anything over those fences, if anyone is bothering you, I have to know, so we can protect you."

"God, no. No one's bothering me. I just have a lot on my mind. Being locked up in the room is a bit tiring, as there's really nothing to do."

"Alright," Ms. Hyoyeon, sensing she's not getting the truth, stood up and opened the door, "I'll see you tomorrow for your dance lessons, wear your ballgown and heels, we're going to have some visitors that Mr. Siwon suggested."

Y/N particularly ran out of the room, ignoring Johnny, Taeyong and Mark as they tried to call out, "no time to talk, I have to go, guys."

"Y/N, what happened?" Mark ditched the two older males to catch up to Y/N, who had ran up the stairs to the top floor, "you've been acting weird since last week."

"I'm fine, Mark. Just tir-"

"Don't give me the tired excuse."

"I don't think I can talk about it right now."

"Are you seeing Johnny again?"

"That was a one time thing that lasted for a few months while he got over Seola," Y/N unlocked her bedroom door and before she could shut it, Mark blocked it with his foot.

"Y/N," Mark sternly spoke. For such a young adult, Mark held an air of sophistication to him, "please tell me. If something happens and I know I could've preven-"

Y/N pulled Mark in and slammed the door, locking it as soon as it shut, "I've been talking to someone over on the dark side."

"Are you serious?!" Mark's jaw fell to the floor, "That's impossible, there's supposed to be no communication between the sides with the exception of offical meetings."

Y/N placed her notebook on the desk, flipping through the pages as she found the notes.

"They're from a guy named Jaehyun," Y/N handed the letters to Mark, "You can't tell anyone about this, not Johnny, not Taeyong, not Ms. Hyoyeon or Mr. Siwon, not a single person beside you and me can know about this."

"If I'm being honest," Mark looked through the two notes, "I've been talking to a few guys over there. Jaemin and Haechan, they're actually some good kids who just happen to be demons."

"So, you're not going t-"

"No, I'm not. I think they've actually mentioned a Jaehyun before. I have an idea, too."

Y/N perked up as she sat at her desk, facing out the windows, seeing four boys climb onto the roof of the demons's place of residency, "Tell me it in a second, I think that's him."

Mark stepped out on the balcony, Y/N stumbling out of her chair, trying to pull the young male inside. Mark pulled out a whistle from his pocket, tweeting out a small beat, causing the four boys to their heads, one being ecstatic.

"You can come out, Y/N, it's just Jaemin and his friends," Mark yanked Y/N out on the balcony, seeing the familiar face of a certain male she caught the glimpse of earlier, "see the one with blonde and blue hair? That's Jaemin, he knows of an underground tunnel system, that's how me, him, Jeno and Haechan have been meeting up, it's rusty, creepy, old, abandoned and I can deliv- you're not listening to me."

Y/N zoned out as she noticed Jaehyun whispering something over to Jaemin before Jaemin made a few hand signals to Mark.

"What is he saying?" Y/N questioned.

"He said that Jaehyun told him that you're the girl he's been sending the paper planes to. He wants to meet, but doesn't know how. He's hoping for a letter tonight."

Y/N smiled sadly, waving at Jaehyun before the other two boys, who she assumed was Taeil and Doyoung, started teasing and laughing at the younger male, "tell him he can expect one and make sure his friends don't hide it from him this time."

Mark signaled back to Jaemin Y/N's message before a voice belonging to Johnny called out for the duo, causing them to run inside off the balcony, leaving the four confused, mainly Jaehyun, as to why Y/N runs off everytime someone calls for her.

"According to Mark, she's the next in line to be the heir over there," a giggle from Taril over the rhyme earned him an elbow in the stomach, "she's been kept up there for a little bit, preparing for the coronation. They're more protective over her because of what happened to that Jeonghan dude. I'll see Mark tonight, he should have the letter for you."

Mark and Y/N heard Johnny trying to jiggle the handle, "guys, what's going in, is Y/N okay?"

Y/N pushed Mark to the door while she ran to the bathroom, motioned the sick signal they came up with when they were younger. Y/N shut the bathroom just enough to where Johnny can hear her getting sick.

Mark opened the door to reveal a sweaty Johnny."

"you guys are fast. Is she okay? Ms. Hyoyeon said she wasn't focused in lessons."

"Something she ate," Mark pointed to the bathroom door as Y/N flushed the toilet in an attempt to convince Johnny she was nauseous.

"Oh okay, I thought it was something more serious," Johnny walked over to the couch, noticing the 4 demons on the roof, growling at the sight of them, "why the hell are they outside?"

"They've just been minding their business, not really doing anything. You know, they're not always plotting something," Mark sat next to Johnny as he reached for the clicker, turning on the TV as Y/N came out of the bathroom, trying to sneak to the balcony, feigning innocence.

"Don't go out there, some of those creeps are out there," Johnny reached for the knob before Y/N could turn it, "come sit with us, watch some TV. I know that show you like is on, with the perfect matches and all of that?"

"Ok, let me just grab my notebook, study a few notes," Y/N took her notebook off the desk, sitting next to Mark, opposite of Johnny. Johnny motioned for Mark to stand up, grabbing Y/N's legs and placing them on his, a small awkward chuckle escaping Y/N's throat.

After a tense half hour, Mark stood up, Y/N handing him the note as he made his way to the door, "I should probably go study some thing myself, I'll see you two later."

"Maybe I should go too, Mr. Siwon wants help setting up for the lessons tomorrow, somethimg about visitors from another kingdom, they have the power of ice or something like that," Johnny took Y/N's hand, helping her up from the couch, "before I leave, can I ask you something?"

"Go for it."

"If something was bothering you, you would tell me, right?"

"Yes, Johnny. Of course I would, I've knew you for since we were babies."

"Ok. Well, I should go," Johnny leaned down for an unexcepted kiss, one that made both parties wide-eyed.

"Uhm. I should take a shower..."

"Yeah, you do that. I'll be right downstairs if you need me."

Johnny walked out of the room as Y/N went and locked the door, leaning on it thinking about the moment that just happened. Johnmy was leaning on the door as well, mentally beating himself up.

That night, Mark and Jeno had met up with Jaemin and Jaehyun, Mark handing the note over to Jaehyun as he unfolded it, smiling as he saw the familiar handwriting.

"What does it say?" Jaemin tried catching a peek of what made Jaehyun so flustered, Jaehyun turning around to avoid the younger boy's efforts.

"Let him be, you me and Hyuck have somethings we actually need to discuss about them. Let's take a walk."

Jaehyun was left alone, sitting on an old couch as he read the note over and over again.

Hello Jaehyun. About calling me Princess, you can only call me that if I can call you Demon, that way it's fair. It's fine for the wait, I'm just glad you wrote back at all. My friend, Mark apparently knows your friend, Jaemin. He seems like a sweet kid. There isn't much to the light side. I sit in my room watching TV, playing on my computer, go to lessons and come back to my room and sleep. That's pretty much it. I didn't really pay attention to lessons today, I was too busy thinking about this one guy, he goes by the name of Jaehyung or Taehyun or something like that. Ms. Hyoyeon noticed, but I didn't tell her. But I did mess up, Mark found out, but it's okay because he said he'll help with delivering the letters, we just have to hide it from our friend, Johnny. Tomorrow is a special day, we're having another kingdom come, the Ice Palace is bringing over some of their heirs for a dance lesson and Mr. Siwon is going to be in charge of it. I hope to hear from you soon.

The next part is what made Jaehyun smile, a blush appear on his face.

Your Princess, Y/N.

#nct #nct 127 #nct au #nct imagines #nct scenarios #jaehyun #jung jaehyun #demon!jaehyun #highway to hell #my writings

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mrfeenysmustache · 5 years

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A String of Souls

Chapter 1

Pairing: InuKag

Genre: angst, romance, SORT OF soulmate AU

Chapter warning: mentions of motor accidents and death.

Summary: Kagome Higurashi lives in a world where everyone has a soulmate, and they don't have to wait long to find them. She is more than happy with the person fate has chosen to stay by her side, but as soon as Happily Ever After can begin, it's ripped away. Fate, it seems, can be a cruel mistress. Or maybe not... Time travel/Soulmate AU/No jewel/InuKag

Warm sun; sparse, puffy clouds; a cool invigorating breeze. All these things contrasted starkly against the storm in her heart.

Kagome Higurashi gazed blankly at the headstone in front of her, wishing for rain, or a gray sky, or even one thick cloud to dull the sun for even a moment, to reflect the state of her soul.

But it was not to be. It never was.

Always it was bright and sparkling when she came on this day.

"First the Kami take my soul mate, and then they don't even have the decency to give me a gloomy day on the anniversary... Kisho..."

Her heart throbbed and a tear ran down her cheek. She brought out the pair of cupcakes she'd brought and placed one at the base of the headstone.

His birthday. Their birthday.

That's when he'd died, two years ago on their shared birthday. She couldn't bear to "celebrate" this day any other way now, she just wished for once the weather would cooperate and be bad.

"Happy Birthday Kisho. Sorry I haven't been back since my last visit a few months ago. School's been... Keeping me busy. Not sure what the point even is."

She crossed her arms over her knees and sighed.

"You'd hate to hear me say that."

She reached out and traced over his etched name.

"I should probably be better than I am by now... but I'm not."

Her hand dropped to the ground next to her and she fiddled With the grass that grew lush and green over his burial plot, another testament to the time that had passed since his departure from this realm. The gaping, gnawing chasm inside her felt no smaller, no closer to closing and she felt like she drowned in it more and more each day.

They'd been 17 when he died.

Being so young, everyone seemed to think she'd bounce back rather quickly and get on to living all the life that stretched out in front of her. They saw it as some kind of gift she should grab on to, saw the loss of him as some kind of lesson she should learn about living life to the fullest.

She saw it all as an endless desert to cross with no water in her canteen, and no shoes on her feet.

Maybe there would be an oasis on the other side. Or maybe there would be a giant snake ready to devour her.

She didn't honestly see the point in finding out.

She wasn't hiding it as well as she wanted, and had had to listen to a litany of well meaning friends and relatives try to buck her up and push her forward. Even her mother didn't understand, and she had also lost her soul mate!

And maddeningly enough, she knew Kisho would agree with them all.

"I can just hear you now, chiding me for sulking when I should be focused on my life, instead. But how, Kisho? How do I focus on a life that was supposed to have you in it? It's not fair..."

She closed her eyes and centered herself, opening up her soul to "see" and glanced down at her finger where the Red String Of Fate was still tied in a neat little bow. Only the other end, instead of connecting to the one being who shared the other half of her soul, just sort of... drifted in front of her and faded into nothing.

She sighed and shook her head, breaking that connection so that the string would disappear. She didn't make a habit of doing it, seeing her String vanishing into nothing like that was scary and disheartening. Since you can only "see" your own Red String and where it attaches to your Soul Mate's, she'd asked her mother what her's looked like after losing her father. She'd been confused.

"What do you mean, dear?"

"Your string... what does it look like now? Mine just... drifts off into nothing. Is that what yours looks like?"

"No, all I have left is the bow it's tied in. The rest of the string disappeared when your father died. That's very strange Kagome."

"What does it mean?"

"I have no idea, dear. You should ask your grandfather."

She was not going to do that. He'd just ramble on about the youth of today not paying attention to their spiritual lessons the first time.

Besides, it probably just meant that she'd be alone until she died and they both reincarnated again.

Joy.

A little bird flew by over head, tweeting a happy tune. His little mate met him in the air above their nest and they circled and chirped around each other. Kagome watched them absently, casting her mind back to simpler times, reliving her brief happiness as close to its source as she could now get.

She'd been friends with Kisho since early childhood. Their fathers worked together and and when they found out their children had been born on the same day, almost the same time, they'd decided to introduce them to each other and see if they would like each other.

Their friendship had been deep and immediate.

They played together as often as the adults in their life would tolerate meeting up. And then when they were old enough to venture away on their own, they would play everyday. They'd heard the adults whispering to each other about the possibility they could be soul mates, but when you have forts to build and invisible dragons to vanquish, adult things like love and marriage are the last thing you want to think about.

Kagome remembered when she'd begun feeling more for Kisho than just friendship. They'd turned 13 and the way he'd blushed and smiled when he'd given her his gift to her made her heart thump strangely.

She kept her secret feelings close. She had a soul mate out there someone, everybody did. Soon she'd be able to find him. There would be no point trying to confess anything to a guy who'd be running off to find his own soulmate soon.

The thought of him with someone else would crush her young heart and she'd cry herself to sleep over it, but what could be done?

At 15, it was time for them to do The Ceremony. They decided to do it together, since they'd done everything else together. The Ceremony consisted of a short ritual with spiritual incense and chanting, and then meditation to open your spiritual senses to see your Red String. The spell, so to speak, would last until you found your soul mate, then it would fade and you'd have to focus and mediate to see it again.

Sometimes your soulmate found you before you needed to do The Ceremony yourself. Often you'd find each other only after you both started searching. It was rare to wait more than a few years after The Ceremony to be with your soul mate.

When they first opened up their minds to "see," they'd been shocked and elated to find that their Red Strings connected... to each other. They caught a quick glimpse, watched their joined String glow brightly, and then fade away.

He gave her a look of such sheer joy and love. She'd never seen someone smile so beautifully.

Later he confessed he'd always dreamed she'd be the one he was tied too. That had started the most blissful two years of her life.

And then he'd been stolen.

He'd bought a new motorcycle despite his mother's harsh protests. He'd had his license only a short time, but he was excited to practice driving it well so he could take her around on it. It made her nervous, but it made him so happy. His chocolate eyes always glowed in the best way when he was happy.

He took it out in the rain, and never made it home.

The pain she'd felt had been so consuming and fierce she thought she might die too.

She thought she still might sometimes.

But she hadn't, she was still here.

She wiped her face and collected her things.

"I'll always love you. Always. I'll be back much sooner next time, I promise. Goodbye Kisho."

Kagome placed her things in the basket on the front of her bike, hopped on, and peddled away.

The finger holding her Red String itched.

#inuyasha #kagome #inukag #inukag fanfic #inuyasha fanfiction #inuyasha fic #soulmate au #sort of

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sol1056 · 5 years

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multipart ask on Keith

I would honestly love your thoughts on Keith’s character development, specifically him leaving for the Blades in S4. Personally I’ve always been on a fence with how they wrote Keith’s character after that. For one, he started as a lone wolf and I always thought they would subvert that along the way with more character interactions and team building episodes like in S1, but apparently S4 throws all of that away. I thought him forcibly being the leader of voltron would be a great opportunity for development but Shiro takes his place in the black lion and Keith just leaves.

It really didn't help with all the signs pointing as him as the true leader of voltron when he barely even interacted with the team personally (except for shiro) after that point. To top it all off his “maturation” was a two year time skip montage with his mom and he suddenly became level headed and ready to fly Black. So when he finally returns and become the leader of voltron it felt a bit underwhelming and hollow. To be honest I also find his interaction with the team afterwards kinda out of character [...]

I just wanted to hear from a writers perspective if Keith leaving was a good idea for his character in general. He had some really good scenes in his time with the Blades but i personally think in exchange it took way too much [away from] his development with the others. I also wonder if it's even possible [to execute well] leaving for the Blades and then becoming the leader of Voltron.

Here’s a general rule: avoid leaving any of your protagonists at a bus stop.

A few chapters is already pushing it; the equivalent of 1.5 seasons is out of the question for all but the most superlative of writers. I’ve met superlative, and believe me, no one on the VLD staff qualifies. If they did, they wouldn’t have been writing for VLD in the first place.

The start of S4 will forever baffle me. Had S3/S4 been broadcast as a complete season, I might’ve assumed there was a technical error, and would’ve tweeted at Netflix and not returned to watch until I got word this really was the midpoint episode. No warning, no foreshadowing, not even a peep out of Keith, and suddenly he’s working with the Blades.

In an ensemble cast, the point is that it’s an ensemble; you don’t forget one of your core cast at the bus stop while the story-bus trundles on. If Keith were meant as a protagonist, then sidelining him for 1.5 seasons is an even worse crime. If the intent of the story, thematically, is 'stronger together’, shoving one of them out of the picture is pretty much the antithesis.

This is not to say you can’t do it; in hindsight, I think the clone should’ve been shelved and the real Shiro returned at the end of S3/S4. But that comes with the assumption that a) the team would struggle a great deal more in his absence, b) prompting development that would create a new dynamic once Shiro returned, and c) that Shiro himself would change in some degree, from/during his absence: one that, by definition, that would need to be complete.

In other words, if you’re going to remove a protagonist, two things must happen. One, they must be removed, which Keith wasn’t. The story checks in on him irregularly, and each time, he's treading water while the story moves on. Two, the absence must become a driver: in a sense, the absence is a presence of what’s missing, and regaining the character must be paramount.

VLD put minor effort into recognizing the impact of Shiro’s absence, limited mostly to the torture-porn of watching Keith isolated in (and by) grief. It couldn’t even be bothered to do that much, when it was Keith’s turn to fall off the team. No one missed him, no one needed him. The result was a clear message there was nothing Keith brought to the team that couldn’t be done by someone else. There was no presence in his absence.

Consider the few scenes in S4-S6 with anything of Keith. His storyline did nothing to push the main story forward. In S4, the Blades are focused on tracking a new quintessence, a subplot that discovers nothing, provides no twists, and goes nowhere. In S5, despite Keith being with the Blades, the two groups have dropped communication to such degree that neither is aware of the other’s participation in the Kral Zera.

If you’re determined to leave a protagonist in another castle, for heaven’s sake, use that distance to allow them to continue to impact the main storyline. Make their absence into a working presence that can link the two groups; the complete radio silence just underlines how meaningless the story considers Keith, in the overall plot.

In that light, Kolivan’s left-field decision for Keith to extract Krolia feels like VLD was grasping at straws, trying to find something to occupy Keith. Worse, that mission contradicts S4: the quintessence is no longer blue, no longer notable for its energy levels, and no longer transported to secret bases in massive quantities by major warships. It’s back to the usual maroon, carried on small cargo ships in limited quantities, and now a dangerous substance with questionable side-effects.

In a nutshell, VLD left Keith mired in pointless actions with no bearing on the rest of the characters (hello, suicide attempt never mentioned again). Late S5, VLD realized it needed to get a move on, if Keith was to get an upgrade. So it took the easy way out: an overload of exposition flashbacks that neatly evaded any emotional beats between Keith and Krolia. VLD had no idea how to get Keith from point A to around point K, so it settled for just telling us Keith had grown up. On a space whale.

Had we been given a better reason (or any reason) for Keith joining the Blades, had we been given a hefty sub-plot for Keith that led him back to the team in an organic fashion (or at least dovetailed with the main throughline), had the story used those seasons to show us Keith learning with the Blades in a way he couldn’t or wouldn’t with the team... well, for one thing, it’d still contradict the ‘found family’ and ‘stronger together’ themes, since it’d be even more clear that Keith was stronger elsewhere.

But setting that aside, at the very least, Keith wouldn’t have returned feeling he’d gotten a personality transplant. We would’ve seen his progression, such that any given point along the way would’ve been recognizably Keith, even if the starting and ending points were almost a one-eighty. It’s called character development; most stories do it as a matter of course.

I’m left concluding that the creators genuinely don’t grasp that characters will change per their experiences. It’s a crucial element in storytelling, because characters are the core of any story. If you can’t figure out what would make a character choose A this time and B next time, you’re failing on one of the most fundamental aspects of characterization. In fact, you’re missing the entire point of a story: character choices are the plot.

I do have to take exception to ‘signs pointing to [Keith] as the true leader.’ I’ve posted before about the mentor trope, and how Shiro’s S1/S2 arc contradicts Keith as Black Paladin. I suggest you read those before coming at me with the assumption VLD did any of the work required to establish Keith's leadership as inevitable.

It’s possible to have someone strike out on their own, learn valuable lessons, and return grown-up and able to handle the situation they’d originally fled. It’d be a very different story, though, one that isn’t focused on a titular robot, but on a single protagonist’s journey. It’d also be a story that has nothing to do with ‘stronger together,’ as the movement away (to learn) and back (to reclaim) means the protagonist only became stronger when they weren’t with the rest.

Keith taking command of Black in S6 should feel like a victory in terms of his arc: where once he’d recoiled, now he steps forward. But since we never saw how or why his perspective changed about leadership, all it would’ve taken is a subtle shift in Yeun’s delivery and we could be talking instead about how Keith returned and was still in his ‘you want me to lead, this is how I lead’ pique.

Shiro’s return creates another turning point where the question would be logically raised, and it’s almost as though (once again) there’s an episode or two we didn’t get. It’d be reasonable for someone to raise the question of whether the team now swaps again. Yet no one does, and we’re supposed to expect Keith --- who waved the little ‘Shiro is Black’ banner far more and for far longer than any other character --- is now content to command Black, with no need to even broach the topic.

That’s a radically different perspective Keith shows in S7 onward, and it’s a problem created by the lack of development for Keith, in S4-S6. In the course of a single episode, we literally went from Keith being his slightly out-of-his-emotional-depth awkward self, to someone clear-eyed and commanding almost to the point of arrogance. It’s not helped when his original characterization returns for the duration of his fight with Shiro --- only to blip out again as soon as Keith returns to the team.

And forcing that abrupt shift on Keith’s part meant the rest of the story (and the characters) got shoved around into their respective places and out of shape, as well. Stories are made of characters, and characters are dominos. You knock one over, and it has a cascade effect. Changing Keith from the character we knew to someone else wearing his face could not happen in isolation, and every character around him suffered as well.

Like Shiro and Lance, Keith had major potential to be a groundbreaking character. He was introduced as the kind of independent, socially awkward, spitfire character usually pushed to the forefront in American media, yet S1/S2 gave him a solid place as Shiro’s greatest supporter. Keith had all the makings of a hero we rarely see: someone who truly believes the title of leader is beside the point, that the team is what matters.

I’m used to Gundam, which almost always strives for a resting place of five (or four) protagonists standing shoulder-to-shoulder. There might be one among their ranks who gets the central position, but the narrative is firmly consistent that should the team lose any one person, it would fall apart. There’s no need to ever tell us the team is ‘stronger together,’ we can see that lesson play out, over and over, whenever the team is divided, split up, or loses someone.

AtLA followed a similar pattern; by the end, it’s obvious the strengths each person brings to the final battle. There’s no question that every single one is crucial for victory; there’s no point where someone leaves and there’s not immediate and significant impact on the remaining characters’ successes. Sure, Sokka may not be able to bend like the rest of them, but without his brains, they’d be sunk. Katara, Toph, and Zuko might not be able to bend every element, but if any one of them isn’t there, the team is going down. Aang may command the central position, but he can’t do it all on his own.

While AtLA shone in having characters who visually broke the mold of our usual white-dominated, male-dominated American cartoons, it also broke away from the lead hero + band of intrepid (but far less capable) sidekicks. Like Gundam, it presented a group of characters who grew into a true team. The pictures might show Aang in the middle, but every one else contributes an equal amount, in their own way.

VLD had the makings in its first two seasons to go that route. But its EPs wanted dark and edgy, a perspective too cynical to embrace the optimism inherent in a team-based story. Sure, their deconstruction of VLD’s S1/S2 trope-subversions brought the story to a point where Keith was declared the definitive top guy, the true Black Paladin, head of the paladins.

Thing is, pushing Keith into that position required altering his personality beyond all recognition, destroying the team dynamic, and gutting any chance of recognizing the other characters as equally integral to team success. In effect, making Keith the de facto leader required destroying the team: and what’s the point of leadership, then?

#vld #voltron #characterization #character arcs #analysis #sol thinks about stuff

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lady-shipper · 5 years

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We need to talk about the fact that we might get Dianetti on episode 6x08!!!

I posted yesterday that I was arguing with some people on facebook about dianetti, and the reason was a rumour about Rosa dating someone that everybody knows already. People where saying that there was ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCES that this girlfriend could be Gina, and I, of course, disagreed. I didn’t say too much about this because I didn’t have any fonts or proofs that it was real.

BUT: I found this on badpostandy twitter’s account and thought it was enough to make a post.

SO TODAY: I decided to show you the reasons why I think Gina Linetti is this “secret girlfriend” of Rosa’s. And, also, show you the other possibilities of who could it be if not our beloved Gina.

Who do the people think it is, besides Gina?

Sophia (Jake’s ex girlfriend)

Eleanor (Charles’s ex wife)

Kate Peralta

Jake’s mother

Alicia

BUT SERIOUSLY? Half of this list is completely nonsense.

Starting with Jake’s and Charle’s ex lovers, I’m 100% sure that Rosa would tell them before anything happened between them, and in this scenario, she didn’t tell anyone and Holt probably found out by himself, so that’s not likely.

Same with Jake’s mother (also I DON’T SEE THIS HAPPENING AT ALL???) and Kate, Jake’s half sister. Also, besides from Jake, Amy was the only one in the squad who met her.

Alicia is the only one that seems likely to happen, but they were already together before, so it wouldn’t be big news, and as far as I know, Terry was the only one who met her (on-screen at least).

SO WHO DOES IT LEAD US TO?? YESSSSSS! GINA LINETTI!

“Oh, but how? Gina has left the show!”

She hadn’t left permanently. She will still be in some episodes, just not as a regular character. (And also, I still believe that she WILL return as a regular in next seasons,but that’s not the point here)

“Hm, but why now if they didn’t get together in earlier seasons?”

Rosa is a private person. Gina also is, when it comes to relationships (we could see that when she didn’t say or post anything in any social media when she started dating Milton). They wouldn’t want to start a relationship at workplace and have the chance to screw everything up and having to deal with it afterwards. They also woudn’t like to have everyone talking about their relationship at the precinct (SPECIALLY HITCHCOCK!!!). So, I imagine that after Gina left the 99th, Rosa finally got the courage to ask her out (or the other way around).

“How would they make this relationship work with Chelsea out of the regular cast?”

Simple: How many times do we get to see Charles and Genevieve together? Or Holt and Kevin? Terry and Sharon? Usually once in each season. It’s rare. And, even for Peraltiago who appear together in many episodes, it’s rare to have a relationship-focused episode. They’re mostly in different places and plots, so it would be the same with dianetti. Brooklyn Nine-Nine does off-screen romance, and it works fine. Even if we don’t get to see them kiss.

“But Chelsea won’t be on episode 6x08!”

No, she won’t. But she doesn’t need to be there to have our OTP confirmed.

On the IMDB’s cast list, besides from the regular cast, there’s only two other actresses, both of them hasn’t been in the show before. If we can trust on this information, it means it isn’t any of the possible girlfriends I said before.

How I see it happening without Chelsea in the episode? Holt will see Rosa talking with her bae Gina by facetime, or something like it (they could have already recorded it before), or simply Rosa will tell him about it for some reason, like how to tell the rest of the squad.

To complete the whole theory, Chelsea was confirmed on episode 06x14, and that could be the one where Rosa will finally tell them, and WE WILL FINALLY SEE OUR GIRLS TOGETHER.

This is, of course, my optimistic and hopeful for dianetti point of view. And I must say, I know when my OTP’s are impossible to happen. I was on board when Swan Queen sank and I was aware it was never going to happen, same with Destiel, Supercorp and Rizzles.

Dianetti, though, doesn’t seem to be impossible. And also, we’ve got Chelsea’s and Stephanie’s support to it. I believe in this.

~UPDATE AFTER 6X07~

A few hours after I made this post, I kind of lost my hope in everything I've written because I thought I had misunderstood the whole episode synopsis and Rosa's girlfriend were to be introduced in 6x07 to everyone but Holt, and in the episode "The Therapist" (that I thought it would be 6x08 but apparently there was a change in the eps order) Holt would find out and get upset. But, we did not meet her in 6x07.

So, let's get (again) to the facts:

Stephanie said in an Instagram live that we would meet 'Jocelyn' very soon.

We know that there's an upcoming episode with Chelsea. They said it was the episode 6x14, but with the changes, it could be sooner.

Chelsea's tweet saying "I'm a fan" about Jocelyn's work in Rosa's hair. (I think that this was a big clue).

What do you guys think? We'll get Dianetti? Is this a subtle queerbaiting? Does Jocelyn actually existis? OPINIONS. I NEED. OPINIONS.

#dianetti #rosa x gina #gina x rosa #rosa diaz #gina linetti #b99 #brooklyn99 #brooklyn nine nine #brooklyn 99 #dianetti theory #b99 theory #b88 spoilers #b99 6x08 #chelsea peretti #stephanie beatriz

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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How The Mandalorian Season 2 Finale Could Give Us the Ezra Bridger Moment We’ve Been Waiting For

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This Star Wars: The Mandalorian article contains spoilers.

The Mandalorian season 2 finale is poised to be the series’ biggest episode yet. Mando and the cruel Moff Gideon are set up for a rematch, and this time, the stakes are higher than ever before, with little Grogu’s life hanging in the balance.

Fortunately, Mando won’t be taking on the Empire on his own. He’ll have help from Boba Fett, Fennec Shand, and Cara Dune, but is that enough? Gideon not only commands a brigade of stormtroopers but also has the fearsome dark troopers at his disposal as well as the Darksaber. Even for the galaxy’s greatest bounty hunters, those odds may be too great. That’s why some fans believe the stage is set for one last big cameo that could turn things in Mando’s favor.

Stream your Star Wars favorites right here!

Ever since Grogu used the Force on Tython to contact any Jedi who might be listening, fans have been speculating about which Jedi might answer the call. There are plenty of theories. The most obvious Jedi who might be coming to Grogu’s rescue is Luke Skywalker since he’s the only Jedi besides Ahsoka Tano who we know for sure is out there. Fans of more recent Jedi characters have put their hopes on Cal Kestis, the young hero from the Jedi: Fallen Order video game. A more far-fetched candidate is Mace Windu, the Jedi Master from the Prequel Trilogy who met his end in Revenge of the Sith but who some believe is still alive somewhere.

While any of these Jedi could potentially break the internet on Friday, there is one other beloved Star Wars character who many fans hope will make his live-action debut in Chapter 16: Ezra Bridger, a hero who not only could still be alive during the time of The Mandalorian but who also has direct ties to other cameo characters like Ahsoka Tano and Bo-Katan Kryze. In fact, ever since the latter two animated characters were confirmed for the live-action series, many have wondered if they were paving the way for this third major guest appearance.

For those who missed Rebels during its original run or haven’t binged it on Disney+ yet (shame on you), Ezra is the main protagonist of the animated series, a young, Force-sensitive freedom fighter who joins a band of rebels known as the Spectres in the years before the official start of the Galactic Civil War. He’s one of the earliest rebels and a key player in the formation of the Rebel Alliance, and even brushes shoulders with many of its leaders, such as Mon Mothma, Bail Organa, and Princess Leia.

In the years just prior to A New Hope, Ezra also becomes one of the few Jedi left in the galaxy when former-Jedi-turned-Spectre Kanan Jarrus decides to train him in the ways of the Force. Together, the master and apprentice delve deeper into the secrets of the Force, the Jedi, and the Sith than any of the characters in the movies have. But while Ezra’s connection to the Force and his life as a Jedi padawan are integral to his role on the show, his storyline always goes back to being a rebel on his home planet of Lothal, which he tries to free from the Empire throughout the series.

Finally, in the series finale, “Family Reunion — Farewell,” Ezra gets his chance to liberate Lothal once and for all. But it comes at a cost. While fighting Grand Admiral Thrawn’s forces, he and the Chiss Imperial are zapped into hyperspace to parts unknown, leaving the fate of both the hero and the villain unresolved. Two years since the Rebels finale, we still don’t know where Ezra is.

Fans of Rebels undoubtedly perked up when considering the implications of Ahsoka’s return on The Mandalorian and how it might open the door for Ezra to come back, too. After all, the last time we saw Ahsoka (chronologically) was on Lothal, where she reunited with Sabine Wren (another Mandalorian) before heading out on an adventure together to find their missing comrade.

Ahsoka and Sabine’s reunion is actually an epilogue to the show set a year after the Battle of Endor and the fall of the Empire. That’s 5 ABY (After the Battle of Yavin). Meanwhile, The Mandalorian is set in 9 ABY, four years after that epilogue and not too long after Ahsoka and Sabine set out to find Ezra.

When Mando finally meets Ahsoka in “The Jedi,” we learn that she’s a step closer to finding Thrawn. In fact, she’s on Corvus because the tyrannical Magistrate Morgan Elsbeth knows where the Imperial villain is. While the very mention of Thrawn on The Mandalorian could suggest that Disney is interested in retelling one of the most beloved post-Return of the Jedi stories from the old Legends continuity, it’s just as likely that Ahsoka needs to find the villain because he might know where Ezra is.

Fans who have been following executive producer Dave Filoni’s Star Wars work from The Clone Wars to The Mandalorian know that he loves to follow story threads from one series to the next. With so few years having passed between the Rebels epilogue and the start of The Mandalorian, the live-action series provides a very easy way to explore what happened next to Ahsoka, Bo-Katan, Ezra, Thrawn, and other characters he used for the animated series. But due to the toy box mystery nature of the show, it’s unclear just what chapter of Ahsoka’s journey we’re seeing in “The Jedi.” Has she already found Ezra and is now out to end Thrawn’s reign of terror for good or is the Rebels hero stil missing?

Whether already back in action by the time of The Mandalorian or miraculously guided home by Grogu’s call through the Force, the Ezra we’d meet in live-action would be a bit different from the young hero we last saw on Rebels. For one thing, he would be a bit older in 9 ABY. Born in 19 BBY (Before the Battle of Yavin), Ezra would be about 28 if he were to appear on The Mandalorian, paving the way for Disney to cast an older actor in the role. This would allow showrunner Jon Favreau and Filoni to reintroduce the character but in a slightly different way. And how have Ezra’s adventures after Rebels changed him? We could very well meet an Ezra who is much stronger in the Force than the last time we saw him.

Or, if Star Wars follows its long tradition of sending light side characters to parts unknown and bringing them back corrupted and evil, we could meet an Ezra who’s given in to the dark side. Rebels season 3 teased that Ezra had a dark side, and bringing him back to Star Wars as a villain would really add some complexity and stakes to Ahsoka’s own story on The Mandalorian.

Regardless of what Ezra would be like in his late 20s, a story of this magnitude really deserves its own space to breathe instead of being shoved in as a sub-plot in Mando and Baby Yoda’s adventure. This might be where the newly-announced Ahsoka spinoff series might come in. A show focusing solely on Ahsoka’s search for Ezra, as well as her further adventures, seems like a more appropriate place for the young Jedi’s return.

But that’s not stopped people from hoping for Ezra’s return on The Mandalorian or from fancasting the character. Who is the front runner? The Haunting of Bly Manor‘s Rahul Kohli, who has been the subject of many rumors over the past few months, chiefly that he’s been cast as Ezra in secret and is set to make his debut in Chapter 16.

While Kohli has denied being involved in any way with Star Wars, the actor has not been shy about his interest in playing Ezra. In September, he sparked a new round of rumors when he tweeted, “I’ve gotten into that Lothal orphan, force sensitive, trained by Kanan Jarrus kind of shape. For no particular reason.” The tweet excited such a furor among fans that Kohli had to walk back the post, explaining that he’d made it in jest on his way to the gym.

Seriously, for no particular reason.

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) September 24, 2020

But since then, Kohli has joined in on the fancasting, often retweeting fan art imagining himself as an older Ezra.

I got Bosslogic’d! 👀 https://t.co/XcznVUU8B8

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) November 29, 2020

At first light, on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East. https://t.co/b2W7T59Uyf

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) December 12, 2020

This hasn’t helped dissipate the rumors, of course. Commenting on why he’s encouraged fans who want him to be in Star Wars, Kohli put it simply: “Lemme set the record straight real quick, why do I fancast or engage with fancasting? Because unless it’s rammed down people’s throats, ain’t nobody thinking of casting an Indian guy in iconic roles. If I keep pushing, maybe one of us gets through.”

Lemme set the record straight real quick, why do I fancast or engage with fancasting? Because unless it’s rammed down people’s throats, ain’t nobody thinking of casting an Indian guy in iconic roles. If I keep pushing, maybe one of us gets through 💕

— Rahul Kohli (@RahulKohli13) December 12, 2020

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Personally, as a Latino who has enjoyed watching actors like Pedro Pascal and Oscar Isaac play major characters in Star Wars projects, I’m absolutely here for what Kohli is saying. I do hope he gets cast as Ezra.

Whether this has already happened in time for Kohli to thrash his way through Gideon‘s forces in The Mandalorian season 2 finale remains to be seen. And what would happen next? Would Ezra decide to train Grogu? The two Jedi have at least one captivating connection: both of their lives have been devastated by the Empire (Ezra’s parents were killed by the evil government), and while Ezra grew up after the fall of the Jedi, his master was a padawan during Order 66. We watch Kanan pass on that history and many of the traditions of the old Jedi Order to Ezra throughout Rebels, so Ezra would understand where Grogu comes from and why he’s afraid to be a Jedi even after the fall of the Empire. In many ways, it would make sense for Ezra to become Grogu’s master.

But even if Ezra is about to hit The Mandalorian, it seems very unlikely that he’d actually take Grogu away to train him. After all, Mando and Grogu’s relationship is the core of the show. Why would Disney want to break away from the formula that has made the live-action series such a success?

Still, seeing Ezra in live-action for the first time would pack one final punch in a season full of exciting guest appearances. Star Wars has always strived to be one long, cohesive story, and The Mandalorian has truly excelled at connecting its gritty post-Return of the Jedi corner of the galaxy to the animated universe inspired by the Prequel Trilogy. And if Ezra isn’t the final guest character of the season, there’s a chance it could be Sabine?

Keep up with all of The Mandalorian season 2 news here.

The post How The Mandalorian Season 2 Finale Could Give Us the Ezra Bridger Moment We’ve Been Waiting For appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3mqLpvU

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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kingofbluebell · 7 years

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Video Game Forecast 2017

Due to some computer trouble and my lack of time to edit this week, I'm pushing the first anime review on this blog to next week. I want this review to be a good first impression for the greater anime community, and besides, if I rushed it out I'd be letting myself down. Instead, I'm going to ramble on at length about the upcoming games for 2017 that I'm excited to play because people sure love making lists on this topic. Yes, I touched on most of these games in post two weeks ago, but I didn't flesh out exactly why I was excited for them. As always this list reflects my personal taste which is sure to be different from anyone else who reads it. I'm trying to square away some other projects before the first load of games comes knocking at my door so let's finish this quickly. Just like with my other list posts I'll include a table of contents at the start for easier browsing.

Dragon Quest VIII

Gravity Rush 2

Yakuza 0

Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age

Persona 5

Nier Automata

Super Mario Odyssey

Yooka-Laylee/A Hat in Time

Etrian Odyssey V

Kingdom Hearts 3

Dragon Quest VIII 3DS: Unlike the feelings of disappointment that grew as I reached the end of Dragon Quest VII, there is a precedent for me to enjoy this game a whole lot more. Dragon Quest VIII is one of my favorite games of all time, and the ability to easily play it anywhere is always a boon in my book. Sure the lack of the orchestral score, decreased resolution, and a voice actress change are making me hesitant to play it, but at its core, it's still Dragon Quest VIII: the pinnacle of the classic JRPG. I'll get used to the new voice for Jessica as I did for Chie and Teddie in Persona 4 when Golden came out and like that enhanced release, I'm excited to test out all the new features chief among them being the lack of random encounters. To me, this was the major thing holding back the original Dragon Quest VIII, even if the encounter rate was relatively unobtrusive, and with Akira Toriyama's iconic monster designs seeing those slimes scuttle across the world map is going to be a delight. I'm also curious to see how they've extended the story, especially with the inclusion of the two bonus characters. Plus I want to see what outfits I can put on my favorite guy Yangus. Unless another game appearing later on this list gets localized this year, or I muster up the will to plow through the Shin Megami Tensei IV duology I can't see another game vying for time in my 3DS this year.

Gravity Rush 2: Sure the dream to have this sequel be another defining title for the PS Vita is long since dead, but the combination of this game existing at all and the befuddling presence of the Vita in 2017 is more than enough to satisfy me. The original Gravity Rush translated very well to the PS4, and demo proves the controls have been refined even further. Being built from the ground up for the PS4 has not only improved the controls, but the brief glimpse of the vistas we'll be able to float through are anything to go by the developers certainly know how to make use of the rest of the PS4's hardware. I hesitate to classify Gravity Rush as a sandbox series, but that's mainly due to my reticence to play many of them now. Most of these games are heavily padded with additional objectives and exist on a playfield so large they become overwhelming. Gravity Rush also contains the myriad of collectibles and repetitive side missions of increasing difficulty however it doesn't immediately hit me that I've done this all before. The series' unique movement options and that said movement options only improve with every digression from the main plot certainly aid in this feeling, yet there is clearly something more. The original Gravity Rush's world, possibly stemming from the fact it was originally a portable game, felt compact and that translated into a more focused experience. I can't wait to see how I can mess around with the sequel's settings, but I hope the developers give me more ways to interact rather than more ground to cover.

Yakuza 0: If there were any franchise that exemplified the tenets I mentioned above it's Yakuza. The way folks over at Sega have gone about expanding the fictional city of Kamurocho, not by expanding the map but instead increasing the number of locations the player can explore in the same space is nothing short of genius game design that reflects actual urban development. This cost saving measure has not only allowed longtime fans to become familiar with the city as they would their real-life neighborhoods but also for the developers to make it come alive by including dozens of unique side activities on top of the already expanding and satisfying combat mechanics. While I'm still relatively new to the Yakuza franchise, my time playing the PS2 entries of the franchise make me excited to play more. I have no reticence jumping into a game further down the development timeline because I don't mind going back to older eras of 3D action games with their relatively stiffer controls. From what little I remember Yakuza 3 is a large step up from the PS2 era titles, and besides the story, design and charm of the franchise are more than enough to get me going back to older games even after playing the most refined game the series has to offer (in English). I'm just happy Sony and Sega are giving this franchise another chance outside of Japan. Even though prequels tend to get a bad rap in most media the Yakuza series storytelling pedigree has me excited to see how Kazuma and Majima turned into the men we've grown to love. In fact, the game being prequel has also given me the opportunity to sell the concept of this game to as many of my long-time GTA, martial arts, and crime-fiction loving friends as I can. The two-year localization wait for this game is almost at an end, and I can't wait to delve into the opulent world of 80's Japanese crime.

Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age: I've been a fan of the way Yasumi Matsuno crafts RPGs since before I could easily pronounce his name. His approach to story and characters are as nuanced as the game mechanics that encapsulate them. In my opinion, they're some of the few RPGs that have a real balance between their gameplay and narrative aspects which is saying a lot given the tendency for Japanese RPGs to rely more heavily on the latter for player engagement. The world(s) of Ivalice is one of the most intriguing fantasy settings ever created in any medium and while it saddens me to say we may never get another chapter in its story I'm more than happy to return to its grandest one. Final Fantasy XII was already a huge game within the constraints of a PS2 title, and I'm sure this PS4 upgrade will do its sweeping landscapes justice. More importantly, I'm excited to experience the Zodiac Job system after all these years. The original's license board being fully open for each character, while certainly gave multitudes of customization options, felt almost too broad to the point it became unwieldy to manage. Having a more focus skill set for each playable character will go a long way into making the fights more strategic. After playing Odin Sphere: Leifthrasir I'm curious if this collection will give us the opportunity to use either system for character progression though I'm doubtful it will. What I don't doubt is this title coming out in 2017. With news of more delays on Kingdom Hearts 3 and the Final Fantasy VII remake not to mention the impossibility of any localized version of Dragon Quest XI so soon, this HD remaster will be a solid stop-gap title for Square's RPG market.

Persona 5: The changing tides of Japanese game development, as well as the maturation of my taste, has made the (Shin) Megami Tensei series overtaking such giants as Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest my favorite JRPG meta-franchise. Even almost succumbing to "Persona 4 Fatigue" and being let-down by Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE are not enough to change my mind. Persona 5 has a lot to live up to and from what little I've allowed myself to hear and see it has certainly impressed those who've played it. I'm grateful to have not been spoiled on any of the major plot developments and even many of the finalized game mechanics in the extended wait between the Japanese and global localization. I'm not normally the type of person to care about spoilers, but I've managed to hold back my excitement this long so why throw it all away at the eleventh hour? I haven't seen a new trailer for the game in at least a year, and I've gone so far as to avoid the English VA introduction videos for fear some of their characters are introduced too far into the story. I expect to either set up a myriad of blacklist programs or just take a sabbatical from most online interaction until I beat the game once so as not to be "tainted" by even the most benign meme. Sure I might become a hermit for a few weeks once the game arrives, but it'll be worth it to finally get to enjoy another full-fledged JRPG from masters of the craft.

Nier Automata: Rather than a screenshot I'm starting off this section by showcasing a very telling tweet from Drakengard/Nier creator Taro Yoko. There seems to be an unexplainable amount of pressure for this game to be amazing, and I'm still trying to break down how exactly we got to this point when at E3 2015 there were so many people confused about "the weird guy in the creepy mask". It's not like after the reveal of Nier Automata the rest of the franchise was made more readily available to a wider audience to get them acclimated to the franchise. The first two Drakengard games weren't released on the PS3 or PS4, and I don't believe Nier is eligible through streaming on PS Now or is backward-compatible with the Xbox One. You would think after the unfortunate state Drakengard 3 released in, being plagued with slowdown and having a third of the content locked away as DLC that cost as much as the base game, that the series would have stopped there. In fact, most fans were shocked Drakengard 3 came out at all. Despite the odds, it seems some folks at Square Enix must enjoy Taro's work and want let him continue to lead projects, which for people like myself is a delightful aberration in this industry. I wouldn't say I'm the most knowledgeable Drakengard/Nier fan, I haven't spent much time looking at the fan-translated supplementary materials, but Nier is still one of my favorite games of all time, so that's why I have high hopes for its sequel. Outside of folks like myself, I believe everyone else's hopes lie are with the developer of Nier Automata: Platinium Games. Despite some recent disappointments, which can partially be blamed on rushed development cycles for licensed products, Platinum Games have been responsible for some of the most mechanically complex and energetic games of all time. Their reputation certainly precedes them at this point, and I think a lot of people believe they'll bring a similar flair and finesse to the combat in Automata. However, after playing the demo it's clear that Nier Automata is going to play a lot closer to the original Nier than Bayonetta. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but that means that 2B isn't the next evolution of cyborg Raiden. Combat in the original Nier was a simple hack and slash with some interesting magic mechanics, and I believe Platinum's involvement with Automata will go a long way in smoothing out the combat in ways Taro's previous team at Cavia was just not capable of doing. From what the demo provided it's clear that Platinum succeeded at this without sapping a lot of the particular flavor people look to get from Taro's games. Personally, I'm ecstatic Taro gets to work with a team known for massive and intricate boss encounters because I can only imagine how much they'll be improved compared to those found in the original Nier. My biggest wish for 2017 would be for Nier Automata to be a resounding critical and financial success not only for Taro but also for Platinum. After the cancellation of Scalebound and Activision pulling out of licensed game development it'll be a rough time for them to find another project so soon and they could certainly use a big win.

Super Mario Odyssey: While everyone else seems blown away by The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild the game that piqued my interest more at the Nintendo Switch presentation was Super Mario Odyssey. Seeing Mario in a more sandbox oriented platformer for the first time in over a decade immediately grabbed my attention, and the idea of Mario going on a globe-hopping adventure will aid in making the cliche level tropes you see in most platformers have some distinctive flair. I must admit seeing one of the areas called "New Donk City" made me giggle more than the realization that a lot of the elements in the trailer mimic the original Sonic Adventure. More important to my potential enjoyment of the game was seeing all the additional movement abilities Mario as acquired for this new title. Mario can now swing as if he's performing an uneven bar routine and his hat, that is somehow sentient, can be thrown to act as an additional platform to reach greater distances. I'm unsure if the fan favorite "long jump" has made the transition to this title but it would surprise me if it didn't. Despite all of this I don't think Super Mario Odyssey, despite coming after a collection of solid titles, will be enough for me to purchase a Switch. My infatuation with portable consoles will have me buying the console eventually, but I'll be waiting until I hear more about that new Shin Megami Tensei game.

Yooka-Laylee/A Hat in Time: I'm putting both of these in the same paragraph because my thoughts on each of them are the same. Before Super Mario Odyssey got announced, these were the only 3D sandbox oriented platformers (have to find a better name for that before I take a deeper look at these games) on the horizon after the genre died out just at the start of the 7th console generation. I may not be the biggest fan of Banjo-Kazooie (certainly not its sequel), but I played and still replay on occasion the hell out of Insomniac developed Spyro the Dragon games. I adore the freedom you get roaming large levels and using your platforming prowess combined with your ever expanding move set and power-ups to tackle the various challenges put before you. I even like collecting a ridiculous amount of different collectibles, which is why I'm one of the few people who still emphatically enjoy Donkey Kong 64 outside of the memes. All these factors, as well as a majority of the original Banjo-Kazooie team involved with the project, convinced me and many others to heavily back Yooka-Laylee. The pedigree of the developers and constant updates have put a lot of our fears to rest after some rather large Kickstarter kerfuffles soured plenty on crowdfunding. I can't say I know as much about A Hat in Time though its smaller, inexperienced team and more meager funding explains its near four-year development cycle. Still, I've heard plenty of positive things from those who've backed the project and got to try out the demos. My fondness for the subgenre will have me giving this a shot as well if it reaches its promised release date this year.

Etrian Odyssey V: Last year I fell deeply in love with the plodding and challenging dungeons of the Etrian Odyssey franchise, completing two games. As arduous as they were I enjoyed (almost) every second of my hundred hour journeys, and I anxiously awaited the next title to be localized. I can understand Atlus wanting to make sure their global launch of Persona 5 to go smoothly before announcing any concrete release dates for games, but the wait for any news of Etrian Odyssey V's English localization is making me worry. Now with the Switch the next big thing from Nintendo resources from all companies, including Atlus, shifting to support it. It concerns me that a more niche title like Etriany Odyssey will be forgotten as we move to new hardware. Still the overwhelming success of Pokémon Sun & Moon, the lack of any announcement of a Switch Pokémon RPG, and the fact that Atlus USA tends to localize games for older hardware more often than other companies has me hopeful. Will we see Etrian Odyssey V in 2017? It's possible, and if it turns out to be true this year will be an even better year for games. Until then I should probably take the time to brave Etrian Odyssey Untold: The Millennium Girl to make sure I'm not too rusty.

Kingdom Hearts 3: I know anything can happen now than Final Fantasy XV, The Last Guardian and Owlboy came out last year, but I'm not holding my breath for Kingdom Hearts 3. I can guarantee to be there day one, but until then I'm not even touching 2.8 until the "third" entry in this franchise gets an actual release day. Just because I still harbor deep feelings for this hot mess of a series doesn't mean I need to be beholden to its whims. I'm not fifteen anymore.

So that's all the games I'm interested in checking out this year. I've chosen a lot of safe bets this year, but a lot of that has to do with me wanting to play a lot of highly rated Japanese games that have taken a while to localize. If any of the heavy hitters on other peoples' lists turn out to be great, I'll try to squeeze them in if I have the time and cash. In addition, every year there are a handful of smaller titles that blow everyone away that few initially knew about and when those inevitably rear their popularity onto the gaming landscape, I'll try to check them out too. I'd love to hear what games the people that read this post are looking forward to in 2017 so either leave a comment here or on my Twitter.

See you next week.

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ineverhadmyinternetphase · 7 years

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In My Way - Chapter 18

AO3 link, First Chapter

Genre: Chaptered. Actor!Dan AU, fluff, bit of angst, slow burn, getting together (eventually)

Summary: Fiction. Daniel Howell is 21 and Britain’s newest star. He’s just been cast in the much-anticipated film adaption of Last Man Standing, the popular teen fantasy novel with a huge fanbase hanging off his every tweet. In other words, Dan has made it big.

Phil Lester couldn’t care less. He’s a stressed out PHD student working part time at a bookshop while he struggles to get into post-production. He’s 26 and still lives in a tiny flat on the fifth floor of a building with a lift more broken than it is in use. He loves books, but he thinks big film adaptions screw with the plot too much.

Needless to say, Phil is less than impressed when Last Man Standing is getting filmed in his hometown. And he certainly doesn’t want anything to do with obnoxious, arrogant, so irritatingly perfect leading actor Daniel Howell.

Warnings: Swearing, Ace!Phil, Bi!Dan, slight a- and bi-phobia, discussions of sexuality

Word Count: 3000-5000 per chapter (ish)

A/N: Once again, sorry for the delay in this chapter! I’m just gonna say this once: I have M.E., a medical condition that effects my energy levels and gives me chronic pain and nasty things. Sometimes it affects my ability to write, which is why updates can be slow. But good news: I know this fic is going to be 25 chapters long, and I have them all planned exactly. I’ll update as regularly as I can ^_^

Again, giant thanks to my beta @mecaka! This is only possible because of her hard work. Go send her love if you’ve got time because honestly, she is the best thing that could have happened to me with this fic

—

Two months, it turned out, was the length of time left on the film set.

“Well, actually, it’s closer to a month and a half,” Dan elaborated from his place sprawled across Phil’s lap, eyes narrowed as he tore around another corner in Mario Kart. “And did you have to bring this up now?”

“I’ve been trying to talk to you about it all day,” Phil grumbled gruffly. Which, in his defence, was true. Ever since the call with Tyler last week, Phil had been working up his courage to bring the subject up with Dan, and this morning he had finally done it only for Dan to distract him by dragging him out to the sofa to challenge him to a duel.

Which Dan was going to win, because this was Mario Kart and Dan was insanely competitive.

“So after the set,” Phil started again, barely even focusing on the screen and much more occupied with the warm person lying across his lap, “Are you, um, are you going away?”

Dan raised an eyebrow. “Away where?”

Away from me, Phil thought, half-heartedly firing a shell. It went backward, straight off the course, completely missing Dan’s little figure that was racing far ahead.

“There,” Dan said satisfactorily as he crossed the finishing line, then paused the game and rolled onto his back. He narrowed his eyes at Phil. “What’s up with you?”

“Nothing’s up with me,” Phil answered immediately. Perhaps not the best method for improving communication, or generally getting anywhere with Dan, but denial was still and would probably always be Phil’s first defence mechanism.

Thankfully, Dan had been around Phil for long enough now to recognise this, so he wasn’t dissuaded at all. Instead, he sat up, tossing his controller carelessly onto the cushion beside him, and fixed Phil with a stern look. “So something is definitely up.”

“It isn’t,” Phil insisted unhelpfully.

Dan had one brow arched at him in a perfect expression of disbelief. Practised many times for several film roles, probably, and now Phil was being subjected to it in all its realness.

“If nothing’s up,” Dan said calmly, “Then we can just carry on playing, and you interrupted a perfectly fun round for no good reason.”

“Yes,” Phil replied quickly, then stopped. “Well, no. Um. Maybe.”

“Congratulations on giving every possible answer.” Dan rolled his eyes, but there was a fond smile at his lips. He flopped himself back down over Phil’s lap, arranging himself to be perfectly comfortable so he could still see the screen, and grabbed the controller again, starting up a solo level. Phil’s eyes traced Dan’s character, and he felt his heartbeat calm down a little. Watching Dan do things always calmed him down – there was a level of professional confidence about everything Dan did, as if he’d thought every action through at least four times. It was… reassuring. Especially when every aspect of Phil’s life was currently being made up as he went along.

“So you asked if I’m going away,” Dan said evenly after a few moments of silent playing.

Phil swallowed.

“I’m guessing you don’t mean leaving the country, or, like, dying,” Dan continued, and was that a hint of laughter hiding away in his tone? “But you still brought it up, so something must be on your mind.”

“Yeah,” Phil answered softly without thinking. His fingers had somehow found their way into Dan’s hair. It was comforting to have the knowledge that Dan was still right there. For now.

“So what is it?” Dan asked again after another moment of watching his character easily cruise the level. Dan really was insanely good at Mario Kart. How did he even have time to practice as an actor?

Phil gave his head a small shake. He shuffled around a bit, until Dan made a noise of complaint, and then went very still with his fingers still curled in Dan’s hair.

Phil just didn’t want to lose this.

“I suppose,” he started slowly, “I mean what your roommate said in the call.”

“Tyler?” Dan sounded surprised. He had no idea at all, then.

Phil gathered his courage and said, “Yeah. When he said he was getting you back. That means… that means you’re leaving me, right?”

The words sat heavily. Phil winced as soon as he realised their full meaning. He hadn’t meant it quite like that, but… but therein lay his fears, really.

Dan squawked. He dropped the controller, not even bothering to pause the level this time, and rolled around to face Phil just as his character made a squealing noise as it fell off the course.

“What?” Dan asked, staring at Phil, a picture of surprised disbelief.

Phil shifted awkwardly. “Tyler said he’d be getting you back.”

“Yeah!” Dan narrowed his eyes. “And you think that means I’m leaving you?”

Phil bit his lip. He considered for a moment. “Um. Well. Are you?”

“Am I what?”

“Leaving… me.”

“No!” Dan sat up properly then, giving Phil the full extent of his glare. “Why? Do you want me to?”

“No, not at al! I just—” Phil paused, realising he’d done an extremely bad job of explaining himself. He deflated in place a little. “I just – don’t understand.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” Dan answered after a moment of silence. He shook his head, sitting back a little on Phil’s sofa cushions so he could draw his knees into his chest. Defensive, Phil realised. He’d made Dan go all defensive again.

Desperately, Phil tried to salvage the conversation and make it go back in the direction he’d originally intended. “What I’m trying – very badly – to say is, you aren’t staying here forever. In Manchester, I mean. Are you?”

Dan blinked. Slowly, comprehension started to show on his face, and Phil thanked every lucky star he’d ever wished on for it. But there was also fear tugging at Phil’s stomach, because he’d brought this up now. They were going to have this conversation, to face the issue that had been itching at him all week.

“No,” Dan answered slowly, his tone cautious, his eyes fixed on Phil’s face. “No, I’m not staying in Manchester forever.”

Phil’s heart plummeted.

“But you knew that, right?” Dan added, leaning in a little bit closer. “I’m only here for the set. That’s over in a couple of months, then I’m going home. You knew that, right?”

Phil swallowed. Dan said home so easily, and he was referring to a place where Phil wasn’t. That shouldn’t hurt, they’d hardly known each other four months, but somehow Phil’s idea of home already had a Dan in it. “And then back to London. And Tyler. Right?”

Dan didn’t answer straight away. Instead, he tilted his head, regarding Phil closely with something warm hiding in his eyes. “I mean, yeah. London is home for me.”

Phil nodded once. He kept his face clear of expression.

After a moment, Dan asked, “Does that bother you?”

Phil shifted, considering the question for a moment. He reached out to grab Dan’s hand, smiled a bit when Dan gave a startled movement that settled into a small smile. He squeezed Phil’s fingers.

“It doesn’t really bother me,” Phil answered slowly. “I mean, it’s your home. Tyler seems nice.”

“He is,” Dan agreed, his gaze still intent on Phil. “My best friend.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you have a best friend.” Phil glanced at Dan, tried not to let jealousy slip into his tone. “How did you meet him?”

“Oh, I met him years ago,” Dan answered with an easy smile and went on to tell Phil that Tyler had met Dan on Dan’s very first set. Dan had been a nervous wreck, unsure of everything around him, and Tyler was his make-up artist. He’d taken one look at Dan’s pasty face and gone Oh no, we can’t have that. Dan at first thought he was being mocked – it turned out Tyler was just very exuberant and exacting in what he wanted.

After that, they’d become fast friends. Tyler was new to England, and so Dan took it upon himself to show him around the main sites. After a year, they’d decided to move in together, and when Dan hesitantly stuttered out that he was maybe attracted to boys as well as to girls, Tyler had embraced him in a warm hug and welcomed him to the party. (Tyler was as gay as a pink elephant, and as exuberant about it as he was about make-up).

“So he knows?” Phil interrupted, surprised.

Dan nodded. “He’s the only other one who does. You and him.”

“Not even your family?” Phil asked without thinking, and then winced. “No, wait, you don’t have to answer that.”

Dan’s eyes had tightened up a bit, but he hadn’t removed his hand from Phil’s. Dan glanced downwards, at where his fingers linked up so easily with Phil’s. “I just – I didn’t want to risk the exposure. You know. If the press ever got wind of it…”

“I get it,” Phil spoke into the silence quickly. “Honestly. That’s not what I meant.”

Dan sent him a tiny, grateful smile.

Phil fidgeted for another minute, then reached out to pull Dan into a hug. Dan muffled a chuckle as he leaned into Phil, speaking into his shoulder, “You can’t solve everything with a hug, Phil.”

“I can try,” Phil said adamantly, and then added, “I just… don’t want you to be gone.”

“I won’t be gone,” Dan murmured, his own arms slotting easily around Phil. “Not really.”

“But London is far away.”

Dan tilted his face up until he was looking right at Phil, and suddenly he was very, very close. “I’m not in London now.”

Phil was frozen, immobile, still taken aback by these moments of intimacy. But he was very sure that was happiness bubbling up inside him, so he leaned closer at Dan’s invitation and kissed him lightly.

Dan smiled, kissed him back, and for a moment everything was perfect. Things like this got easier every time they did them, and Phil was growing in confidence every time, more and more sure that yes, he liked this. As long as it didn’t go too far, and Dan was wonderful and soft and never pushed him.

When Phil pulled back, Dan didn’t complain at all. He didn’t even look insecure, which Phil always worried about because he had a feeling that Dan would kiss for longer if it was up to him. But Phil always started to feel weird after a few minutes, and he was endlessly grateful that Dan never brought it up, but just smiled happily every time Phil pulled away.

Dan was smiling happily at him now, and then he whispered, “You could always come with me.”

Phil blinked. His voice squeaked a bit. “Come with you?”

“To London.” Dan’s eyes were bright, but a bit guarded. He didn’t look away from Phil’s face. “When the set is done with. You could come back to London with me.”

Phil’s eyes widened. He’d never even considered that as a possibility – that Dan might ask him to go with him, that maybe there was a solution that didn’t involve Dan staying in Manchester forever.

Dan couldn’t stay in Manchester. He had a job, and friends. Obviously.

But Phil still felt the tiniest tug of disappointment. Manchester was his home. He’d deliberately moved back here after doing his undergrad in York, because York felt too far away.

It was closer than London, though.

Dan was still looking at him, but that guarded something in his eyes had grown. He was shrinking back a bit, shrinking into himself, behind all those walls that Phil had started to break down.

Phil grabbed for him again. “I want to be with you.”

Dan brightened up again immediately. “So you’ll come?”

“I’ll…” Phil took a breath, bit his lip. “I’ll… I’ll think about it. London is… far away.”

Dan’s eyes had clouded over again. Phil hated that, wished he could banish it away in an instant and have Dan happy and smiling again, but… but he’d learned not to dive straight into scary things. He needed to think, to process.

And they still had time.

“There’s a month and a half left, right?” Phil added almost desperately. “There’s time to… to think. We can figure it out.”

Dan nodded slowly, his gaze clearing a bit. “Yeah. Yeah, we can figure it out.”

Phil smiled back at him, and really, really hoped it was true.

---

A few days later, when Dan was away at the film set and Phil was sitting at home half-heartedly tapping away at his thesis, the idea crossed Phil’s mind again.

Moving to London.

It didn’t seem quite possible when Dan mentioned it. Like a dream, something to be imagined but never to be lived, at least not for someone like Phil. Dan’s world was full of glittering lights and camera flashes and interviews – hell, that was why they never went on proper dates outside. Phil could still remember with a shudder the day a camera had followed Dan back to Phil’s bookshop.

That was Dan’s world, not Phil’s. And if he was honest, Phil wanted no part in it.

Except… except he did want to keep Dan. He really did. To the extent that thinking about Dan going away to London without him had Phil’s chest constricting until his breathing was difficult.

This was crazy. He’d only known Dan a handful of months, and the majority of that had been spent trying to avoid him. Phil had hated Dan when they’d first met, he was sure of it – he remembered that arrogant smirk, the way Dan had looked down on him.

Knowing Dan as he did now, Phil could see that had been because Dan had believed Phil snubbed him deliberately. But he hadn’t. Phil was just a bumbling mess, he always had been, and he probably always would be.

Dan shouldn’t even want him around anyway.

Phil shook away the thought with a sad little frown. He was staring blankly at his thesis document, on its way to finished with a month left to the deadline, and then his course would almost be over. Just another month after that until his official graduation. His mum had already invited everyone over for the celebration – Phil the Doctor, Phil the smart one, he’d always been the brains of the family, she’d proudly say.

But then what?

There’d be a big celebration, and then… then what? Phil had never been one to look at the future too hard, never been one to wallow in worrying. He’d just enjoyed what he did without thinking too much about where it would lead him. But now… now, he was facing a gaping hole with no more education to fill it.

And he didn’t want to face that alone.

So Dan. He had Dan, he wanted to keep Dan, and miraculously Dan wanted to keep him. That had to be worth all the worry, right? All the stress? There had to be something worth holding onto in the feelings he had for Dan, in the feelings Dan had shared with him.

He hadn’t had a text from Dan yet that day. Phil had messaged him in the morning but hadn’t heard anything back. That wasn’t too unusual. The film set was getting busier every day, with the closing deadlines looming. Then everything would be moving down to London.

London, where all the post-production work would be happening. Phil’s speciality. Phil’s favourite aspect.

If only…

Phil chewed on his inner cheek, having a staring contest with his laptop, until he relented and pulled up a new internet tab.

Post-production film jobs in London.

Unsurprisingly, there were a lot of results. Phil trailed through the first few, registering some of the company names, recognising some. There were a lot of internship programmes that he’d be eligible to apply for.

He didn’t have to make any decisions yet. But it was an option.

Just then, his phone buzzed against his desk. Phil snatched it up to see a new tweet from Dan: literally starving at the set @amazingphil where is my coffee

Phil snorted. They were still being publicly open on Twitter, and while they’d never explicitly stated the exact nature of their relationship (Phil still got a fuzzy little feeling whenever he remembered that Dan was his boyfriend), it was a good thing. Having Dan happy with them being public, even in this tiny way – it gave Phil hope.

Hope that this was actually ok.

Definitely a possibility, Phil decided as he glanced at the results on his laptop, and then bookmarked it before answering Dan’s tweet with another public one of his own.

@amazingphil: @danisnotonfire on my way right now

---

The days continued in their easy pattern, but the time was constantly being eaten up. Without even meaning to, Phil found himself subconsciously counting down the days to their deadline, the deadline when Dan would be leaving.

He’d visit the set with coffee for Dan and think, only five more weeks of doing this.

Dan would crash into the bookshop during Phil’s shift and regale him with stories of the day’s filming and Phil, in between fits of laughter, would find himself saying, “Not much longer left, now.”

Dan’s eyes always went cautious. He answered carefully, “No. Not long left.”

Phil tried not to think too much about the way Dan’s eyes lingered on him, as if he was waiting for a response, for something more from Phil. Something more that Phil wasn’t sure he could give.

They’d be curled up together on Phil’s sofa, or cuddled under the blankets on his bed watching Netflix on Phil’s laptop, and Phil would stay silent but the thoughts running around his head were full of not much longer, you don’t get to have this for much longer. He tried to quiet the doubts, knew that Dan moving away was very different to Dan breaking up with him, but it was still hard.

He tightened his grip around Dan and buried his face in Dan’s hair.

Dan made a questioning noise and wriggled a bit, so Phil batted at him until he stayed still. He didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to face the questions that he knew Dan was going to want to bring up. In all honesty, Phil just didn’t want to face the future. He wanted this present to extend forever, with Dan in his arms and something easy on TV and blankets and cuddles and nothing else more complicated going on.

Why couldn’t he just have that? Phil didn’t think it was too much to ask for.

It was when there were only three weeks left that Phil came home from a shift at the bookshop to find Dan sitting on the sofa on Phil’s laptop.

Phil blinked, and then let out a heavy sigh. Coming home to Dan invading his flat wasn’t exactly unusual, not since Phil had given him a key, but still. There were privacy limits. Weren’t there? Or shouldn’t there be?

Dan grinned at him impishly, and then pulled Phil’s laptop further into his lap. “Mine for now. Sorry.”

Phil rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “I guess I shouldn’t even be surprised anymore.”

“Probably not,” Dan agreed, already buried back in whatever he was doing. As long as it wasn’t another skype call to Tyler that Phil could embarrass himself in front of, then Phil didn’t really mind. It was an excuse to forget about proof-reading his thesis for a bit, after all.

“Hot chocolate?” Phil offered on his way into the kitchen.

“Mm, please!” Dan called back, and Phil’s smile was widening before he even realised it. Having Dan around just made Phil feel… buoyant. Like there was something under his skin lifting him up, making his feet hardly touch the ground. It didn’t quite feel real, except when he could feel Dan in his arms, breathe in his scent, see the possessions he’d slowly left scattered around Phil’s place. Honestly, Phil didn’t even know the last time Dan had actually spent long periods of time in his hotel room.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” Dan said when Phil returned with two steaming mugs. He curled his legs out of the way, making room for Phil to join him, and grabbed eagerly for the mug.

“Don’t spill that on my laptop,” Phil warned him, but otherwise settled in happily. He cast Dan a slightly worried look. “Also, that doesn’t sound good.”

“It’s not bad, exactly,” Dan hedged, casting another quick look at Phil. He grimaced. “I just – I saw a car.”

Phil arched a questioning brow.

“A black car,” Dan elaborated, “Um, outside.”

“Wow, amazing, anyone would think we were in a main city.” Phil grinned. Some of Dan’s sarcasm had rubbed off on him.

Dan kicked at him delicately. “No, you idiot. Outside here. Outside your building.”

Phil blinked, taken aback. “…Oh?”

“Yeah. It looked like a journalist to me.” Dan was looking steadfastly at the laptop screen again, not meeting Phil’s eyes. “So, um. They might have seen me, and my guess is they could call you at some point."

Phil’s stomach dropped.

“You don’t have to say anything,” Dan added in what was clearly a carefully researched speech. “You can just refuse to comment if they badger you. And if they do it too much, threaten the police, it’s harassment.”

“The police?” Phil asked a bit faintly.

Dan shot him a look, then bit his lower lip. He shifted a bit closer to Phil. “I did try and warn you this might happen.”

Phil remained silent. That didn’t help very much. Sure, he remembered when Dan was first trying to get closer to him, that Dan warned him what his lifestyle meant – but Phil wasn’t anyone interesting. He hadn’t really given much thought to people bothering him, or what he was supposed to do or say. He was far too awkward for any of it.

And it wouldn’t even matter soon, with Dan going away.

Phil shook away all those thoughts, a crease appearing in his brow. Dan reached out to smooth it away with his thumb, a sweet gesture he’d started doing whenever Phil was stressed or worrying about something. “You don’t have to say anything, Phil.”

“I just,” Phil started, and then turned to look straight at Dan. “Do you want me to say anything?”

Dan blinked. He looked startled for a moment before casually schooling his expression back into a careful blank. That was the problem with Dan being such a good actor – when he didn’t want to show his emotion, he really didn’t show it.

“I didn’t think you’d want to,” Dan answered delicately.

“I don’t,” Phil agreed, “I mean, not if you don’t want to. I just. Does that mean you want it to be a secret?”

Dan looked a bit pained. “That isn’t a fair question.”

“What do you mean?”

Dan squirmed, but Phil pressed him, leaning in a bit closer. “What do you mean, Dan? Communicate, remember. Talk to me.”

Dan made a face at him. He took in a breath, slowly, and then let it out. He closed Phil’s laptop and slid it onto the floor, and then made grabby hands at Phil in a gesture that Phil had come to realise meant come closer, need to hold you.

Phil obliged, and let Dan wrap him up in long arms, hold him against his chest. He laid his head comfortable on Dan’s shoulder.

“Saying something would mean that this is something that’s going to last,” Dan eventually murmured into Phil’s hair.

Phil’s mouth went dry. He froze.

“I don’t mean that would be a bad thing,” Dan hastily continued, “I mean, like, it would make it official.”

Phil managed to unstick his mouth enough to say, “And that would be a bad thing?”

“No, no, I don’t mean anything like that.” Dan let out a cross little sigh. “I mean – um – it would mean we’d both face a lot of questions about it, and if you’re… if you’re in Manchester, and I’m in London, um. We’d have to face them alone.”

Phil took in a careful breath. The weight behind Dan’s words told Phil that he’d thought about them a lot, probably been thinking about the coming month just as much as Phil had, in fact. Maybe if they’d talked about it sooner, Phil wouldn’t have had to do as much worrying on his own.

“I mean,” Phil started, and then stopped again.

Dan nudged at him. “What?”

“I mean, we might not be apart forever,” Phil answered quietly. He felt Dan quiver against him, and he bit his lip. He didn’t know if now was the time to bring this up, or if there would ever even be a better time, but Dan sounded worried and Phil didn’t like Dan being worried.

He leaned back enough to look at Dan, right in the eyes, and the worry he saw there made Phil want to dispel it immediately. “I mean, London is a thing.”

Dan smiled briefly. He didn’t look away. “London is indeed a thing.”

“I’ve been looking,” Phil confessed quickly, “There are internships. Places that do the kind of thing I’d want to do.”

“Really?” Dan was obviously trying really hard to keep the hope out of his voice, but he wasn’t quite succeeding. That warmed Phil. He was wanted, obviously, desired by Dan Howell, and that still didn’t quite make sense in his head.

“Not yet,” Phil warned him. “My PhD doesn’t finish until two months after you’ve gone back to London. I have to be here for that.”

Dan wilted a bit. But he nodded. “I’d expected something like that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’ve been working for ages on your degree, I’m happy for you.” Dan smiled at him, the expression a little shy, a little vulnerable. Phil felt his heart give just a little bit more. He loved this man – he really loved him, and that was still hard to come to terms with.

Phil smiled back. “But after that – after that, well, I don’t know. It’s a possibility.”

Dan was staring at him almost disbelievingly. Phil didn’t like it much when he did that, but his options to make Dan happy were still fairly limited. Phil just wasn’t very good at it, much as he’d like to be.

Phil leaned in, pressed a kiss to Dan’s cheek. “It’s a possibility.”

Dan’s cheek had gone red. That was nice. He also still had his arms around Phil, which was also nice, and he was smiling a bit as he answered, “To be clear – are you saying you coming to London with me is a possibility?”

Phil thought about it for a moment. Then he nodded a bit hesitantly. “After my degree. Maybe.”

Dan’s eyes were a little wide and a little wild. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. Well,” Phil amended, “I’m thinking about it. It’s not something to rule out.”

Dan kept staring at him for a bit, and then he was grinning and holding Phil tighter. “Good enough for me.”

---

There was hope, but there was also sadness, because time was running out on them too fast and Phil still hadn’t made a decision.

Three weeks disappeared like sand rushing through Phil’s fingers. It didn’t matter how much he tried to grab onto it, the time just went faster and faster, rushing on and inexorably on until he was left standing alone and forlorn in his own apartment with boxes of Dan’s stuff gathered up all around him.

All the things that had collected in Phil’s flat over the past few months, every little memory of Dan being here, was wrapped up carefully and packaged and taped and shut away, all ready to be moved out. Including Dan himself.

Phil felt sick to his stomach.

Dan stood opposite him, an awkward distance away, playing with the ends of his sleeves. He wasn’t looking at Phil, seeming to find it easier to study his carpet instead. The air between them felt charged. The last bag was sitting packed by Dan’s feet.

“It just makes more sense to leave tonight,” Dan was explaining, still steadfastly studying the carpet. “The cars are leaving the hotel really early tomorrow. I don’t want to disturb you in the morning.”

You wouldn’t, Phil was desperate to say. But he didn’t. He stayed quiet, except for the ringing in his ears and the slightly wild thud of his heartbeat.

The boxes were moved, one by one, into the car waiting outside Phil’s flat. They did it together, woodenly, not talking but not staying far apart either. Phil treasured every brush of Dan’s elbow, every minute left in his company. They were rather rapidly disappearing, after all.

The last box was in the car. Dan was hovering awkwardly on the pavement, one hand on the car door, his eyes fixed on Phil.

Phil should turn around and go back inside. They were in public, and even if they weren’t, Phil was bad at goodbyes. This was why he’d always returned home. He couldn’t deal with last times, with never-seeing-people-agains. He left everything open-ended, and always came back to the place that meant the most to him. He didn’t do well at leaving.

Was he ever going to see Dan again?

Dan was staring at him with carefully masked emotions. Phil hated that too. He wished he could push back past those boundaries, get back to where he and Dan had been. They’d been so close, they’d been so open and honest with each other. Eventually. Dan was the one person Phil had never wanted, and then everything he’d wanted but never thought he’d have, and then, miraculously, been the person to openly accept him. Everything about him.

Phil couldn’t lose that. He didn’t want to let go.

Dan swallowed. His hand awkwardly fumbled on the car door, and for a moment Phil thought he was going to step away from the car and back into Phil’s arms, and this whole hellish ordeal could be over.

But he didn’t.

Instead, the car door flew open, and Dan turned as if to climb inside.

Phil’s heart stopped.

Dan paused, turned back to face Phil. His mouth opened, but no sound came out. Instead, he just stared at Phil’s face some more.

Phil hung in stasis. His body tipped forward, telling him to take the step and go, to stop the best thing in his life from walking away from him.

But the crease in Dan’s brow was back, and he turned away again with a muttered, “See ya, Phil,” and then he was climbing into the car.

“Wait,” Phil’s mouth said without his permission.

Dan paused, span back around again in an instant. His face was still carefully blank.

Phil stayed still for a moment, counting the racing beats of his heart, tracing the planes of Dan’s face that he’d come to know so well. Dan Howell, the Dan Howell, famous actor, blind fool at times, but most importantly, Phil’s Dan.

There was no way Phil could let him go like this.

“Stay,” he begged.

Dan’s mouth dropped open.

“Just tonight,” Phil pleaded, because, apparently, he wasn’t above actual begging. He took a step forward, grabbed one of Dan’s hands in his own.

Dan’s blank expression was melting.

“I know it can’t be forever,” Phil continued, his tone shattering a bit. “Just stay. You can wake me at whatever hellish time you have to tomorrow, just – just stay one more night. Please.”

Dan hovered, his gaze quickly flicking left and right. They were in the middle of a public street, Phil’s street, and there was a suspicious looking car sitting up the road that had been there all morning and was still directly facing them, but Phil just couldn’t let Dan go like this.

He prayed he was doing the right thing.

“Please,” he said again and tugged once at Dan’s hand.

Dan’s face finished melting, and he was standing there looking at Phil with the warmest, most vulnerable gaze Phil had ever seen. His fingers were trembling a bit, but he closed them firmly around Phil’s and took a step towards him, until Phil was forced to look up to meet his eyes.

“Ok,” Dan whispered, and then span to say to the driver, “Go back to the hotel. I’ll meet you there in the morning.”

The driver, as discrete as ever, simply nodded and disappeared.

Phil felt a little bit faint. His fingers tightened in Dan’s, the world swaying around him. Dan was still here. For now. He was here.

Fingers tightened around Phil’s arm, gently pushing him towards the door. “Inside, now,” Dan whispered into his ear, “Quickly, I need to – Phil, I need to—”

Phil understood. He knew exactly what Dan was talking about. He fumbled for his keys, got them both back inside his building, and hurried quickly to his flat door.

They didn’t make it two steps before Dan was pushing Phil against the wall, still metres from his actual flat, and this was still dangerous because anyone could walk past, anyone could see them—

“Phil,” Dan whispered, and the sound was broken and almost desperate and Phil couldn’t think about anything else, not right then. He stared right back at the man in front of him, the man clutching at his shirt sleeve hard enough to pinch his arm, the man who looked so young suddenly with no hint of sardonic amusement on his face.

Phil reached up for him, leaned in, and kissed him.

Dan sagged into him, like he was melting all over again, fitting perfectly in Phil’s arms until Phil was the only one holding him up. Phil wasn’t the only one this was taking a toll on. Not with the way Dan reached for him, held onto him, kissed him like a drowning man.

“Not yet,” Phil whispered against his lips, dragging him down the hall into the safety of his flat.

---

They did the most kissing they’d ever done in one go that night. Up until then, kisses had been small, gentle things, sweet nudges of affection against each other’s lips, nothing more. They hadn’t needed anything more.

But this time – this time, Phil felt like a desperate man, like someone who was about to lose everything under his fingertips. He clung onto Dan, remembered the feeling against him, tried to lose himself in someone else’s arms.

They stayed fully clothed, which held off Phil’s repulsion. And the kissing was still just kissing, aside from when Dan occasionally leaned down and pressed his lips to Phil’s throat, which sent a shiver down Phil’s spine which was just this side of good. Any more, and he’d have been pushing Dan away, but Dan had grown to learn his reactions and knew not to push him any further.

Dan needed this, too. He never left Phil’s side, never left any unnecessary space between them, until the warmth was almost unbearable. But Phil would never have had it any other way. They stayed wrapped up in Phil’s bedsheets in a tangled heap of limbs and faces and breathing and kisses, and neither of them got much sleep that night.

“I’m going to miss you,” Dan mumbled at some point with his face buried in Phil’s hair.

“Shush,” Phil muttered back, swatting at him, and then rolled them over so he could lie himself down on Dan’s warm, sturdy chest. He didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to think about it. He just wanted to hold Dan here, in his bed, and remember what it felt like to have another person in his flat.

He fell asleep soon after, but Dan remained awake, eyes hiding a shadow as he stroked his fingers through Phil’s hair.

In the morning, Phil woke up to an empty bed and a note scrawled hastily on the back of an envelope and left on the bedside table. Car arrived. Didn’t want to wake you. There were a few scribbled out lines, and then, finally, Don’t break anything before I see you again. All my love – Dan.

Phil stared at it for a very long time, until his vision had blurred and his breathing sounded funny.

All my love – Dan.

He’d thought that word would terrify him. Phil still hadn’t said it, wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to without it feeling like some sort of lie. But he felt it. The emotion blossoming in his chest, constricting his heart until he thought it would burst – there was no denying what that was.

Phil blinked, hard, grabbed the note, screwed it against his chest, and flopped back into his pillows. Dan was apparently just as bad at goodbyes as Phil was, but Phil couldn’t help wishing Dan had at least woken him up. Just to have one last hug.

But would Phil really have been able to let go?

Honestly, Phil wouldn’t put it past himself to just upend everything on a whim and head down to London with Dan, his PhD be damned. But that wasn’t the sensible, adult thing to do. Phil needed some thinking time, time to actually consider his own future and how best to keep Dan in it. Maybe he did need space to do that.

But no amount of rationalising would stop the hollow ache in his heart when he rolled over to find the other half of the bed empty.

Phil bit his lower lip, glanced down at the note still squished between his fingers, and then tucked it securely under his pillow. He’d leave it there, he decided, until Dan was back with him again.

They wouldn’t leave it too long. Phil didn’t think he could cope.

But for now, he had work in a few hours and a thesis to finish, so after a few minutes more of moping, Phil forced himself out of the bed for day number one without Dan.

A/N: A note before you go: (incredibly) this fic is up for several phanfic awards (thank you so so much to anyone who nominated me, I couldn’t believe it!!) so if you’re interested in the awards and want info on how to vote check out this post here

#phanfic #phan au #actor!Dan #ace!Phil #bi!Dan #iwritephanthings #inmyway

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