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alexsfictionaddiction · 3 months

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Review: The Fetishist by Katherine Min

I love a weird book and that's what I was expecting from a cover and a title like this. It actually turned out to be less weird as such and more of a social commentary on race relations, misogyny and grief. However, it was done in a highly unique way, which I really appreciated.

The book follows three characters. Kyoko is a punk singer who is desperate to avenge her mother's death by kidnapping the man who broke her heart. Daniel is a successful violinist and Kyoko's target. Alma is a former cellist with multiple sclerosis and the love of Daniel's life, who is reflecting on whether she has ever really had true love before her life is over. When Kyoko and her boyfriend manage to kidnap Daniel, absolutely nothing goes to plan.

Kyoko is ravaged by grief for her mother and she is desperate to take out the man she believes is responsible for her death. I also felt that Kyoko was also just angry at the way that Asian women like her mother are treated by white men like Daniel. It was a much bigger thing than just her mother and Daniel and that was an overriding message of the book.

As you might imagine, there is plenty of fetishization of Asian women in the book. There are assumptions, generalisations and prejudices all over the place and as they pile up, it enhances the reader's despisal of Daniel and men like him. We become a champion for Kyoko, a woman who is committing crimes, which is a really interesting mindset to read from.

Daniel's ex Alma, a Korean American, is also a victim of fetishization. In her reflections, she despairs at the hopelessness of finding her uniqueness if she apparently looks just like every other woman of her race. I'm not sure I've ever read a book that touches on this before and I'm really glad that I was exposed to Alma's profound albeit melancholy thoughts.

Alma's story offered a really valuable insight into how fetishization affects those who are fetishized. Alma questions whether she has ever really been truly loved or whether she has just been fantasised about, which was a really heartbreaking realisation. I have no doubt that many women of ethnic minorities have gone through the same thought processes and will find some connection there with Alma.

I also learned a lot more about MS through Alma's chapters. Her symptoms seemed to flare up suddenly and their slow development meant that she gradually lost the ability to do what she loved and what she was good at -playing the cello. I'm sure this is how many long-term chronic conditions manifest and her experience with it won't be unique. I understand that Katherine Min herself had breast cancer and that The Fetishist was published posthumously, so although the illnesses are not the same, a lot of the feelings and struggles were potentially similar.

The Fetishist is an exploration of how Asian women are viewed by society and how this affects them. It's also a story of a grief-stricken daughter fighting these ideals in order to avenge her mother and the story of a woman coming to terms with how life has treated her before she leaves it all behind. It is a moving, thought-provoking read but I couldn't help feeling that the ending was all too neat for the themes. It's not like racial or gender prejudice has gone away or like it's easy to quash, so having an ending that doesn't really reflect that was a bit jarring.

#the fetishist #katherine min #literary fiction #book review #review #books #bookworm

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craycraybluejay · 6 months

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You know how a pretty obvious majority of kinksters are submissives? You want to know a big part of the reason why it's hard to find a dom that's into the same hard kink you are?

Ask a hardcore masochist what they think of being whipped.

Then ask a hard sadist what they think of whipping someone.

Do you notice that the sadist/dom will often either dance around an answer or try to use soothing language/euphemism not unlike the way how in many places people are still expected to discuss sex if at all. Gentle, calculated language.

The issue is, especially with a new surge of purity culture overtaking so-called "leftist" online circles, is that fantasy becomes a moral judgement.

Sub with a noncon kink: "I want to be raped" (cnc but like. People can talk ab it how they want don't cancel me fr.)

Response from Normies: "well that's weird and kinda dark but ok"

Dom with a noncon kink: "I want to rape"

Response from Normies: "I'm calling the police and you should kys and you're also a sexual abuser and even though you haven't said anything about kids you're also also a pedophile :)"

Not only does the attitude of murderous hatred against doms/tops with hard kinks/fetishes/paraphilias make it difficult for them to practice those kinks (safely and ethically) out of fear of social backlash if it's ever found out even if both they and their partner[s] had a great time and are fine-- but, it actively puts innocent people in danger by equating thoughts and attractions of ANY KIND to the act of hurting others against their will. It equates fantasy, which can oftentimes be played out safely if in a modified way with real harmful actions.

Also, kink is still illegal in many places, so don't "its illegal" me about harder kinks. Law is not morality, none of us are free until all of us are free, etc. You get the gist.

You want to see more doms? Meet someone who can indulge your "scary badwrong" sexy feelings? Then maybe don't actively promote a culture where you put ANY kind of attraction or kink under fire. It doesn't matter if it'd be unethical to act out in real life. Some of the most common kinks worldwide are unethical as fuck to act out irl, including rape. That's why we have cnc, come on, guys.

You know what? In fact, you SHOULD actively shun people who shame others for their sexual feelings. EVEN if you think it's gross. EVEN if it wouldn't be ethical to act on irl. Let these types know that their puritan ideals are NOT accepted here. Let them know that if they want to go to church they can do that but not in your space, not forcing other (non consenting!) people to listen to their hateful and repressive ideology.

Like, hey, I'm not into ABDL, for example. But I will defend to the death other people's right to be into that. To think and feel whatever they think and feel. You think diapers are sexy? Great! I don't personally see the appeal, but you do you boo. There is no Correct Way to be sex/kink negative. Either you believe in thought crime or you don't.

And yes, this post includes "harmful" paraphilias (I put it in quotes because they're only harmful if acted on), sadomasochism, mutilation fetishism, etc etc. Every "gross" or "evil" kink, fetish, para you can possibly imagine. The stuff that makes you horny is just stuff that makes you horny, and being horny is normal. Being "weird horny" is also normal. No one deserves to experience shame, let alone public harassment or hate over feelings they most of the time don't Choose to have. Be mindful of puritan rhetoric and strike it down when you see it.

#important #psa #hard kink #nsft topic #pro para #pro kink #the 'dom shortage'#obv there are other factors but this is just a connection I'm pointing out #purity culture #purity wank #puritans #sex and sexuality #tw r@pe mention #p3d0 panic/the trend of calling everyone you don't like a p43d0phi13 despite that that's as i said before #NOT the same thing as csa or ANYTHING like that and simply an experienced attraction #attraction is not r@pe; foot fetishists r not going to randomly hump ur foot and same w ever other kink #thought crime #puritanism #the purity culture wave #discourse #except if you disagree pls block me this is a pro kink blog forever and ever #thoughts are thoughts #anti para people scare me bc if u think someone cant help but have sex with someone/something theyre attracted to...#what EXACTLY are you going to do if someone romantically rejects you????????????#turning the argument around here. if this is your belief then i do not trust you around me and my loved ones #because if attraction is action then i am scared for the people you are attracted to #because it isn't. and the fact that you think it is says more about you than anyone you hate for their attractions

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alistairlowes · 9 months

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i'm sorry but this shit annoys me to no end. like this is about heartstopper and you all need to stop acting like that show invented everything.

fucking anyways

1. Koisenu Futari

Show that’s specifically made to be about aromanticism and asexuality as well as how aroace people are perceived by society. They are main characters. That’s the main plot.

2. Heartbreak High

Want a teen show with ace rep? No problem. One of the main characters is ace! Would you look at that! The representation already exists! It's got a ton of other rep too and it's on Netflix but somehow we never got that ace rep yet right? You don't even need subtitles for this one.

3. SkamFr (s12)

Is it a bit too much at times? Ye sure but you know what it also is? Another teen show where the main character is asexual that deals with asexuality as the main theme. And no you don't need to watch all those seasons before to get it.

4. Bojack Horseman

I didn't even watch this one but I'm aware.

5. Cherry Magic

Oh would you look at that a show with main mlm couple where one of the side characters is aroace? I mean surely it hasn't been done before.

6. Run On

You want some casual side character ace rep? Well here you go even kdramas have done it but I guess there just aren't any shows...

Honorary mention to Sex Ed for that one scene.

#asexuality #aroace show recs #aroace shows #i know there is more but these are ones me or my friend watched and we think they are good #alice o*eman would get a stroke over cherry magic because it's ~fEtIsHiSt BL so it couldn't possibly do what she does ://#and yeah i say that as someone who's fav book is radio silence #anyway if you actually cared about ace rep you would look beyond what is served to you by one streaming service goodbye #koisenu futari #heartbreak high #skam france #cherry magic #run on #bojack horseman

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cardentist · 9 months

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I love yuri memes, but at this point it feels like half the time the joke is just "romance between queer men is shallow and meaningless," and I'm being expected to laugh at it when I'm the butt of said joke

#discourse #no actually #you Can't replace 'yaoi' with 'men who love men' and have it read the same #one is a genre that's well known for being fetishistic and often times in poor quality #(which doesn't make everything that falls under that label meaningless but Does justify it's place in pop culture)#the other is gay people #I hope this helps

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dontmean2bepoliticalbut · 9 months

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#us politics #republicans #conservatives #conservatives be like #republicans be like #gun fetishists #gun fetishists be like #gun violence #gun control #gun rights #mass shootings #mass shooters #memes #shitpost #school shooting

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lordadmiralfarsight · 7 months

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Revolution fetishism is a horrible political view, especially in this context

Okay, rant incoming, partially related to recent events, but also to earlier thinking on my part.

There are, on the Left, a fair few people that romanticize or outright fetishize the concept of Revolution, of violent popular uprising to wrest power out of the hands of a corrupt elite and give it to the people. Very romantic, very righteous (self-righteous pretty often), very good and nice and sexy. And by the grace of revolutionary fervor and ideological purity, everything will be better after.

Except no.

See, a lot of this romanticization of Revolution comes, to my knowledge, from my own country of France. We have romanticized our Revolution a fair bit, and honestly, looking at the first part, fair. A serious go at giving women rights, a no-cause divorce, abolition of slavery, privileges thrown out, equality between people proclaimed loud, enfranchisement given to minorities ... in 1789. A LOT of good and progress, especially for the time.

But then it got fucky, VERY fucky. The Reign of Terror, under the caring leadership of Maximilien Robespierre, was a fucking nightmare on Earth, caracterized by mass executions on political basis, and by this I mean anyone that opposed Robespierre got beheaded. Political plurality? You mean anti-revolutionary sentiment ! Unacceptable, kill everyone.

A rumor of the time said the Place de Grève was covered in a layer of blood that was ankle deep. Is that an exageration ? Yes, certainly. But the fact it got to that point should tell you something about how intense the murdering was. And that was just one square in Paris, there was the rest of the country to consider too.

But surely, after Robespierre fell victim to his own system and was executed, something better emerged, right?

No. Sweet mother of fuck, NO.

What followed was roughly 70 years of political instability and violence, warfare and civil war, several dictatorships, including attempts to restore absolute monarchy, that undid most of the good brought by the first part of the Revolution. And finally, France stumbled onto political stability in 1870 when the temporary 3rd Republic, that was supposed to wait until the presumptive heir to the throne (who wanted an absolute monarchy) croacked did what temporary things do best and became the permanent system (until its fall).

This was not thanks to the Revolution. It was pure randomness.

Did the French Revolution bring good things? Yes, it did. In its first part. The second part brought chaos and misery for multiple decades. And it took a lot of work and efforts to bring back what the Revolution, the peaceful part, had brought in.

And far too many people on the Left fetishize and romanticize the whole thing, as if we couldn't have had the first part without the second, as if the progress and hope and betterment somehow needed the chaos and murder that came after.

Yes, there would have been a period of conflict, European monarchies would not have accepted quietly a realm the size of France doing away with monarchs. But did we REALLY need the political purges ? Did we REALLY need the paranoia ? Did we REALLY need the massacres ?

But you will find people that answer yes, and say the spilled blood somehow made it pure, or good. And those same people are looking at what Hamas is doing and are cheering. These people don't celebrate the first part, the progress and hope. They claim to be, but they aren't. They celebrate the Terror. They yearn for the unjust "popular tribunal" AKA mob "justice". They dream of executing political opponents or anyone they think is "bad" on light or even absent charges.

And That's why they cheer for Hamas rockets and massacres. That's why they sing when Israeli children are murdered. That's why they attack Jews that don't live in Israel. Because they hope to vicariously live this period of unchecked violence.

Know who was celebrating the RIGHT part of the Revolution ? The Israeli working with Gazan to build understanding. The Gazan protesting against Hamas. The Israeli Arabs risking their lives to save the lives of fellow Israeli and of foreigners, regardless of skin or creed. The Gazan trying to improve things in their homes against the wishes and efforts of Hamas.

Know who IS celebrating the RIGHY part of the Revolution ? The Israeli protesting the way the IDF is bombing Gaza. The people decrying the hypocrisy of blood-thirsty leftists. The people calling for Peace and working to make the political change to allow it.

But the Robespierres of the time, drunk on their own self-assurance, condemn and insult them, claiming that blood must be spilt. But it doesn't have to be. The French Revolution started relatively bloodlessly. It didn't need some great orgy of violence. Oh it wasn't clean, but it was far cleaner than the armchair Robespierres would like it to be. Because it didn't need to be.

And that's my point, really. The people fantasizing about and fetishizing the Revolution always dream of torrents of blood washing away the injustices, of seas of corpses forming a fertile ground upon which progress can grow. But that horseshit. All you get with that is, like the Place de Grève, a sinister place that stinks of rot and death, and flocks of scavengers gorging on your crimes.

All you get is a chance for a Napoleon to arrive. Or Stalin's USSR that so casually carried on with the crimes of the Tsars. Or Polpot who murdered 25% of his population.

If you look at the French Revolution, the right lesson to learn is that you need to know when to stop, and that's before you get to indiscriminate killing. Because once you get to that point ... people that thrive in those settings get in power and perpetuate them.

And to apply that to the situation in I/P ... knowing when to stop means realizing that Israeli are still humans, that Gazan are still humans, that their lives have worth and should be protected, that supporting child killings when it's done by "brown people" is not anymore alright than supporting child killings when done by the IDF. And you people should very well consider the possibility that people inside the IDF are doing all they can to reduce Bibi's ability to order war crimes.

And you should recognize that there are efforts on the part of the IDF, sometimes token efforts, sometimes more than just that, to limit the number of dead civilians. Point me to a case where Hamas did the same. Point me to a case where they tried to get Israeli civilians out of the way instead of targeting them.

Hamas is not a Revolution you want to succeed. It's not about being free. It's about killing. This isn't a "glorious revolutionary action", it's a prelude to the wholesale slaughter and ethnic massacre they dream of. It's a tiny window into their ideal, blood soaked world.

Violent revolution should be a last resort, when there is no other option available, when the system is so utterly broken and shattered that nothing can move, and it should be stopped as soon as the system is unfucked enough to negociate. The I/P situation is not at that stage. Look at how much efforts the fascists of both sides have to invest in maintaining this. Look at how much time and money and efforts they have to invest to keep each other in place. And despite this, people of both sides reach for peace, argue and protest for it, even at the risk of their very lives (especially true in Gaza).

And if you refuse to consider all this, if you insist on following Robespierre, remember this : La Veuve came for him too, in the end.

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