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#the end of his rich bitch era
minilev · 1 year
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Okay time for the PBS Kids essay
Read it under the cut!
:readmore:
In 1968, before there was PBS Kids proper, there was Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. While it came several decades before the children’s block, it laid the foundation for the themes and values present in every facet of the network’s history.
Mr. Roger famously hated children’s programming at the time. To him, it all was droll and useless. But he didn’t dissuade the medium entirely— he saw potential. Potential that led to a few smaller television jobs, and eventually the creation of Mr. Roger’s neighborhood.
Rogers didn’t invent educational TV for children, but he did perfect it. He poured real heart and soul into probably the most sincere, heartfelt program in history.
Honestly, he could have his own essay. The more things you learn about the real man of Mr. Rogers, the more you’ll like him.
Anyway, the biggest thing that makes PBS different is the fact that it earns money through grants, fundraisers, and private donors— not through sponsorships and merchandise sales. This way, PBS Kids can push programming that it feels is important, rather than programming that merely sells well.
This also means PBS is less afraid of pushing social boundaries. Money doesn’t go away when their shows become subjects of debate— and Mr. Rogers took full advantage of this.
For context, this was 1969. The Jim Crow era had just barely, barely ended. Pool segregation was still very much legal.
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Mr. Rogers sharing a pool and a towel with the Black Mr. Clemmons was a pretty big deal at the time— especially on a show made for children.
Rogers was far from the untouchable sacred cow of today. When he was alive, he had a large number of detractors. Let’s just say that scene didn’t fly nicely by everyone.
Just one year after the debut of Mr. Roger’s came Sesame Street.
While Mr. Roger’s was made for all children, Sesame Street had the explicit goal of supplementing the education of underserved communities— especially inner-city Black (and later Latino) children.
While it was made to be accessible to children of all races and income levels, they definitely went the extra mile to make it something special for inner-city Black and Brown kids. (Why do you think it it’s “Sesame Street” and not “Sesame Cul-de-Sac”?)
At the time, a wholesome, sweet show set in a brownstone street was practically unheard of.
Jon Stone, the casting director, deliberately sought to make the cast as rich with color as he possibly could, bringing on a huge amount of Black talent such as Loretta Long, Matt Robinson, and Kevin Clash, as well as featuring Black celebrities as guest stars. Later, the show would expand its horizons, bringing on actors from Latino, Asian, Native American, and many more backgrounds.
White actors were and still are a minority on show.
In addition to letters and numbers, the purpose of Sesame Street is clear: make kids of color know that they’re smart, beautiful, and loved.
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It doesn’t get more explicit than this.
I want to point out this comment because it’s funny
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You’re telling me this bitch isn’t Hispanic???
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Anyway, these two were followed up by Reading Rainbow in 1983. And guess what?
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That’s right. Non-white focus.
These three shows, (along with other, lesser-known programs like Lamb-Chops Play Along, Newton’s Apple, and Shining Times Station (who featured Ringo Starr himself?? seriously how did that happen and why does no one talk about it) and some other nostalgic favorites like Bill Nye the Science guy, The Magic Schoolbus, Arthur, and Thomas the Tank Engine) aired on the new PTV block, which evolved into PBS Kids in 1999, bringing along Between the Lions, Dragon Tales, and many more.
Arthur is another stand-out that I’d like to talk about— it doesn’t have the same racial focus of Sesame Street, but it does focus on different income levels. The characters have various housing situations, from apartments to mansions to no home at all.
It also takes cues from Sesame Street and Mr. Roger’s in regards to talking about tough topics, though as Arthur has a slightly older target audience, it discusses things through stories rather than talking directly to the audience.
Cancer, religion, workplace discrimination, along with current (at the time) events such as 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina are all discussed on the show.
Another big focus on Arthur is disability. For once, they don’t stick a character in a wheelchair and then pretend he’s not in a wheelchair. A striking number of major characters either develop or get diagnosed with physical disabilities and/or neurodivergences, such as asthma, severe food allergies, and dyslexia, and they deal with them in very realistic ways.
A handful of minor characters have more obvious disabilities, and THANK GOD they go beyond the trite messaging of “disabled people can do everything abled people can do! everyone clap now!”
One episode in particular has the awesome message of “holy shit stop trying to help me all the time— it’s patronizing as fuck. I can get around just fine without you stepping on eggshells and trying to be the hero all the fucking time”
There are sooo many other shows I could talk about, but I can’t write about them all. I’m definitely gonna point out some more standout ones, though.
Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat
Created by Chinese-American woman Amy Tang
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Dragonfly TV
Features a multitude of female and non-white scientists to foster an interest in science with kids in those groups
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Maya & Miguel
One of the network’s first Hispanic-led shows
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SciGirls
I shouldn’t have to explain what the goal of this one was.
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Molly of Denali
When was the last time you saw a show that treated Native Americans as people? Much less a children’s show? 90% of the cast is Athabascan, and the show revolves around Athabascan culture, not shying away from topics like boarding schools and modern-day racism. Most of the writers are also Athabascan, and the show even has an official Gwich’in dub!
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It’s this commitment to real, authentic social justice that makes PBS Kids so much different from its competitors. Could you imagine the Paw Patrol dog looking at the camera and earnestly discussing what happened to George Floyd? I don’t think so— but Arthur talked specifically about it, Sesame Street did an hour long special about race in general, and the network itself made a 30 minute special.
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Disney Jr. could never. (Other than trying to teach colorblindness, of course.)
I’m gonna have to cut this into two parts, since I just hit the image limit
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ventismacchiato · 1 year
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💸 the business proposal !
a social media au | scaramouche x gender neutral reader
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synopsis after agreeing to go on a blind date in the place of your rich friend, aether, and sabotaging it on purpose, you think it’ll be like the usual dates you’ve tried to ruin for your friend. but when you go on the date acting as him you’re dumbfounded, it’s scaramouche…the CEO of the company where you work.
scaramouche’s mother, ei, and founder of his company grew sick of her son being single and continuously sets him up on blind dates. scara is a workaholic and is annoyed by this so he decides to marry the person on his next blind date so he won’t be distracted from his company anymore. that person happens to be you, but pretending to be your friend aether. after seeing how badly the date went he chooses you just so he can anger his mother. you continue to play the part of his fake future partner and also employee, staying out of his sight during work so he doesn’t realize you aren’t who you said you were. how long until he finds out?
genre fake dating, sorta enemies to lovers, hidden identity, crack, slight angst, based off the kdrama
status not started, undecided
warnings alcohol consumption, young adults, mommy issues mentioned for scara, tba
taglist CLOSED
↳ playlist tba
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BREAKING NEWS!
featuring…
y/n and company | scara and company
ACT ONE: the best of both worlds !
O1. sugar daddy era
O2. flashcards
O3. pretending to be rich
O4. damn why he kinda
O5. chicken fingers
O6. broke ass bitch
O7. making headlines
O8. one night stand
O9. tba
1O. tba
ACT TWO: chicken fear me, men want me !
11. hide and seek
12. be bad for me
13. smile for the camera
14. vacation in disguise
tba
ACT THREE: marriage? in this economy ?!
21. deal or no deal
tba
END OF SEGMENT!
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author’s notes: always wanted to do a business proposal au, either on here or on ao3. we’ll see which platform wins ig. also it’s gn and aether is a gn name so that’s why i chose him as the friend yn is going to impersonate ^^ also my editing slay,, feel a little weird using an irl pic for the header but o well
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respectthepetty · 4 months
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Pit Babe Colors Ep. 10
I'm challenging myself with this show and seeing how good my color skills really are, so I'm doing my normal thing of watching it double-speed on mute, but now, the captions are off also. It's just colors and vibes here. Also, people stay spoiling this show for me in their reblog tags on my posts, so I know Charles and Jeffrey made a dumb plan but I have no idea what it includes beyond Jeffrey going to Big Red's.
Hand over heart, I think Sonic is really pretty, which is why I haven't fully thought he is a baddie, but I need a reason for him refusing to wear blue! North gets it together every now and then, but Sonic? Boy, quit relying on that face and follow the damn color assignment!
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I'm missing something but I thought Charles and Barbara were fine yet here they are fighting, but Charles spidey sense is tingling, so something bad is gonna happen or will he have sex with Barbara like they did last week? And now the glasses are off! They better not have sex on this track.
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Barbara is racing?! Dean was racing last week! Was Dean informed of this plot twist? Did Barbara get healed having sex with Charles last week?
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You can take the red off the boy but you can't take the red out of the boy. You are acting so sus, Jeffrey! You had a full conversation with Charles and now you are just lurking in the background. Someone spoiled that he and Charles made a plan, but if the plan is murder, he is already failing at not being suspicious.
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Another hand-over-heart moment, I have no effin' idea what happened on that race track because there was so many blues then a car went off the track, and I had no real idea who it was, but I do know JEFFREY HAS SOME EXPLAINING TO DO with his suspicious ass!
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Big Red lives in the same place he has his cult meetings to show off his superpowered kids? Isn't there a rule of not having cult meetings where you spray your EIGHTY MILLION BONSAI TREES! That seems dumb and contradictory, but I'm not a mega villain so what do I know?
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Red is usually an emergency room color, but the red yelling at me as Barbie feels all the bad things that happen in an emergency room is a lot. Charles isn't dead because color-coded boys in love get happy endings, but Barbie is probably feeling everything right now and it probably sucks.
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"Don't be suspicious. Don't be suspicious." Jeffrey, you need to make out with Alan quickly to prove you're gay, because you canNOT do crimes, and are about to be in Kentana territory again. Whatever you and Charles planned, it was dumb and Barbie is now crying.
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KENTANA! Are you in on this too?!
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*Record scratch* Jeffrey went back to Big Red's with the dumb plan he and Charles cooked up involving Charles dying, yes? Yes! Kentana, as Big Red's whatever-he-is, knows of the plan, SO WHY IS HE BEING BEAT UP?! Kentana, break Kimberly out and run away to the beach together. Big Red doesn't even wear red! HE SUCKS! Leave!
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Stuck between the blue and the red, I see. A choice has gotta be made, Kentucky Fried Chicken. Wings or Thighs? Legs are not an option. Legs are reserved for the elite squad of Peter, Alan, and Kimberly. You don't get legs! (WHERE IS KIMBERLY?!)
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Barbie woke up in black. He has no man, but he has his powers, so either he is about to enter his rich widow era or he is going to go Kill Bill on these bitches.
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Horrible take. Awful take. The WORST take, but . . . if Waymond didn't decide to be bad, he would have been the perfect person to comfort Babe and ease Barbie's pain, pero . . . he had to be a little bitch instead.
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Oh, NOW you wanna follow the color assignment, Sonic. NOW?!
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Well, Jeffrey picked up your mantle with his not-all-black outfit and bright ass white-wrapped flowers. This isn't a wedding, Jeffrey! IT'S A FUNERAL! Jeffrey, a note from The Sign's Dr. Chalothon - FAKE IT! Sir, that empty grave is supposed to be your roommate and partner-in-dumb-crime, yet I haven't seen one single tear from someone who just lost their buddy. You're more sus than the entire cast of Dead Friend Forever. How does Barbara not suspect your ass with his spidey senses?!
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Damn you, Saltburn!
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KIMBERLY! AND HE'S IN BLUE! *sliding down the wall and sobbing on the floor* MY BABY HAS RETURNED!
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Wait! Pause! *squints* Why did Jeffrey bring Kim? And why to Alan's house? What in the Chuck E. Cheese is happening?!
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Alan, Jeffrey's roommate is quote-unquote "dead" yet you are living your best life. Can you try to be sad too or are you in on this plan and this is why Kimberly is now looking beautiful on your couch?
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The blue is between y'all, but just like Charles and Barbara having sex on every surface when Kimberly was being held hostage, do y'all have no shame? Making heart eyes at each other immediately after burying an empty coffin that was supposed to be Charles. Shame! At least pretend that Charles is dead! Or fill Barbie in on this dumb plan.
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Vegas' Hedgehog, you pretty bitch. I hate you.
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Barbie is watching the crash, and Jeffrey and Alan are playing footsie over Charles' quote-unquote "grave." But I already know I'm more upset for Barbie than he will be for himself because he'll forgive everyone for this bullshit lie in less than two minutes.
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Does Barbara think Waymond killed Charles?! He might be shitty, but he is backed by the blue. He ain't guilty! Go speak to your boyfriend's roommate and his new boyfriend, Barbie!
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Oh shit! I wasn't expecting you to actually go talk to them! Hold up! Is that blue on Jeffrey?! Does he actually not have anything to do with Charlie's quote-unquote "death"?
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SONIC IS WEARING BLUE IN THE BACKGROUND!
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Like I know shit is going down right now because Decanus sabotaged ANOTHER car *Pikachu face* but I don't think he is in on the dumb plan to "kill" Charles so . . . Kimberly wore blue this episode and Sonic is wearing blue (even though I think there is a shimmer of red there), and I'm crying in the club because this is all I wanted, and sorry to all of y'all, but the show could end right here, and I'd be happy.
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Oh no. My man is crying. I am no longer happy. I am in pain. Why is he crying so hard? Was Dean his best friend? His brother? This feels personal. Jeffrey, come give our man a hug! Right now! RIGHT FUCKING NOW, JEFFREY!
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Seeing Alan cry hurt way worse than anything else that happened. Charles isn't dead, so I'm just upset that Barbie has to cry and more upset that Barbara is going to be cool with whatever dumb plan Charles made without telling him, but Alan's tears were unexpected.
However, Sonic is back on his bullshit next week, so I can't stay in my feels too long.
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And I get to see Peter while someone fully commits to the blue.
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Oh, and we get to see the dumb-plan-that-made-Barbie-cry in more detail. *Arthur fist* Be upset at Charles for just one episode, Barbara. Just one damn episode, please. He didn't try to assault you like Waymond, but Charles has played with your emotions several times, and I just need you to knock 👏🏾 his 👏🏾 ass 👏🏾 out 👏🏾 too 👏🏾.
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gabessquishytum · 7 months
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I see rich bitch dream so what about rich bitch Hob???
He basically had his rich bitch era in 1589 so this is canon. Dream is hired to do some custom work on Hob’s house. Maybe they’re getting the kitchen redone and dream is an artist with marble. Maybe he is a literal artist hired to paint a mural on the ceiling. Maybe he is building a huge custom fireplace or is a specialist who works on very old expensive houses—whichever.
Maybe Hob is a trophy husband maybe he has rich parents—whichever. But hob spends the whole time trying to get Dream to stop working and fuck him. That includes wearing his sluttiest outfits lots of tanning by the pool wearing literally nothing, and lots of offering dream water or tea or a martini.
He is a total brat who is used to giving orders but dream won’t give him the time of day. Hob gets more and more frustrated and provocative until the day that dream finally snaps, bends him over the nearest surface and spanks him for being such a brat. Then he tells hob if he can’t stop whining he’s going to have to gag him but if he’s a good, quiet boy, maybe later he can have Dream’s cock.
Unsurprisingly I am very much into this.
I'm thinking like... rich widower Hob. Or maybe his husband is still alive but never around to show him any attention. Either way Hob is a very pretty bimbo and very used to getting his own way. He gets whatever he wants, and when Dream ignores him? Oh, that's the challenge he's been waiting for.
He orders who new sets of revealing gym gear, just to sit around where Dream is working. Hob will literally talk about how desperate he is for a real man to take him, how he opened himself up in the shower so carefully and there's no one to use him... but Dream doesn't even flinch. He works on his project. He drinks his tea. He ignores Hob and his slutty cycle shorts.
Hob hates him, and he's never wanted anything more in his life.
He pulls out every trick he can think of, even shows up where Dream is working dressed only in lacy red boyshorts and a butt plug. As always, Dream ignores him, and Hob literally stamps his foot on the floor in his frustration. He ends up knocking some of Dream’s tools or something and that's what finally ends the stalemate.
Before he can blink, Hob is bent over the expensive couch where he usually lounges. His underwear is wrenched down and Dream rains down blows on his plush arse. Hob squeals and cries but Dream is ruthless.
Poor Hob ends up with his underwear stuffed in his mouth and Dream’s belt binding his hands behind his back. He sniffles and wiggles occasionally, but a stern glance from Dream keeps him still. Maybe when the workday is over, Dream will finger his spoiled, pretty hole. That all depends on his good behaviour.
He does earn Dream’s cock, eventually. But it takes a few weeks of good behaviour and an extra commission for Dream to work on. Hob is happy to pay whatever it takes. Being denied for so long has made him addicted, and he'd gladly spend his entire fortune just for the pleasure of drooling over Dream’s cock.
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queerbrainrot · 6 months
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time to watch episode 3 of the thai live action omegaverse show
hell yeah Babe is not getting sold back to his evil-adopted-dad!
Tony is such an evil, megalomaniac name, perfect for that dude
SNOOPING???
Babe if you keep being this confident life is going to humble you hard
oof babe got angry enough to leave even CHARLIE on the track
i'll be honest i don't remember who Mr Zipper-Turtleneck is but he gotta be dead inside, also "you're the apple of Daddy's eye" sounds so WRONG
why do we talk about wagging tails
Jeff reminds me of L from Death Note, i can't explain why.
i admire Jeff's confidence to boss around his own boss but also boy if this wasn't a BL you'd be fired so fast
"family is not everyone's safe-zone" LOUDER JEFF FOR PEOPLE IN THE BACKWARDS AGES!!!!!
this cup noodles looks so unspiced i cant get over it
"uncle will take you to get some snacks" another version of kittens in the basement, or at least Jeff seems to think so
Way, how do you even know the rich socialites who can borrow you money??
Way you deserve so much more
i feel like charlie is way too good at playing the poor little pouty boy
oooh we getting Babe's backstory!!
oh no he and his dad were homeless? and then the dad disappeared?
this old man Tony is creepy and should go away from the children
JESUS THIS IS LIKE A DAMN CULT- WHY DOES ONE OF THE KIDS HAVE TELEKINESIS????
IS THAT A WHOLE BOW AND ARROW- JESUS CHRISTBABE YOU WENT THROUGH YEARS OF CULT BRAINWASHING AND PRISON LEVEL ABUSE-?
Charlie "well... is it okay now?" charlie. cHARLIE. ITS NOT WHAT YOU SAY AT ALL OF THIS. please muster up more complex emotions.
okay but they failed addressing Babe's backstory astronomically, like man pours his heart out and Charlie just is "well, is it good now? lets go back to topic of our situationship and sex"
it also still breaks my mind a little that in novels Charlie was buff and throwing around "i'll get you pregnant" but drama Charlie looks like high school boy
Alan exists to cause Feelings™ in Jeff
Charlie what are you up to.
the good dreams talk is an innuendo huh
does every gay own a striped shirt/sheets, i'm saying this as a gay who does in fact own at least one
evidence???? LET US SEE
please the racing suit looks so big on charlie
Way looks ready to smack someone and honestly he deserves
whaaat why is charlie going into elevator with some random
Babe caught feelings and now he's hurt who would have seen this coming~
oh but babe confronts him actually in semi healthy way, this is new! and charlie's lying oh not good
Charlie what are you doing sneaking off at 3 am
who is this random guy with arms around Babe's waist is this the sad bitch era
babe losing because he didn't "concentrate" before the race <3 when your own body betrays you trope, almost??
Winner being definition of fuck around and find out for the end is amazing
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saucy-sassy-sparkly · 2 years
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Moments: Four
Author's Note: Darlings, here she is: part four. Part five is mostly drafted so we’re not finished yet ;)
Pairing: Chris (buzzcut era) Evans x reader
Word Count 6.7k
italics are flashbacks (except the beginning rambling), and bold are text.
Moments Masterlist
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Four: 2012, Prague
The older we get, the more we come to appreciate the little things…
The stolen hour in your schedule for coffee and catching up with a friend.
The relief of warm socks, fresh out of the dryer, on a cold winter evening.
The taste of your mom’s chicken noodle soup when you feel like shit.
The warmth of a hug from your grandfather.
The smile a memory can give you, even when the moments around it hurt.
Those are the things that matter; creating a life made up of moments that fill your soul.
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“Go again,” Chris rolled his shoulders and took a deep breath while he waited for everyone to reset. It was the third time they’d rehearsed this scene today and the stunt coordinators still weren’t happy. His back was covered in sweat and he was panting while he quietly embraced the few moments to catch his breath. He waited for the go signal, watching his castmates take directions and nod, feeling grateful that no one was approaching him. On the signal, he artfully twirled his fake ax and then charged at the oncoming foes, batting several out of the way quickly in a perfectly choreographed fight.
He ducked, struck, rolled, and attacked for several minutes, working his way from one end of the faux tunnel to another. When he did this on set, it would be darker and he’d have on far more- his T-shirt allowed him to move easily now but he knew he’d have to accommodate the bulk of the winter clothes his character- Curtis- would be in. Right now, in the lights of the rehearsal space, he could focus on each move he had to make and reciprocate appropriately. Chris was often grateful that fight scenes hardly had dialogue for good reason– he was out of breath by the time each sequence was done.
By the fifth time they reset and ran the sequence, the stunt coordinators were finally happy, which made Chris and his cast mates happy: that meant the end of the day. They’d been rehearsing all of the various technical sequences all day— all week in fact— and Chris was sore and tired. A hot shower, cold beer, and a cheeseburger from room service were calling his name. He could indulge tonight before a long-awaited day off from rehearsals. He’d been here a month and it was only the third full day off; he was hoping he finally had the energy to do a little sightseeing.
Y/N’s hand was cramping from the frantic notes she scribbled in her notebook. The speaker clicked through his slides at a ridiculously fast pace while she tried to make notes on best practices and new research to take back to her practice in DC. Because she was unmarried and childfree, she and two of her older colleagues– the one and only man, Keith, in their practice with college-aged children who she’d hardly spoken to, and a woman, Rachel, in her 50s who’d never married– had been voluntold that they would attend the annual International Psychology Conference in Prague. The other four women in her practice had young children and it was “hard to get away”.
So, Y/N had decided to take it as an adventure. She’d taken an additional week off of work to get to tour Prague. She’d flown out with Keith and Rachel on Monday evening and arrived in time to drop their bags at the hotel and attend the first series of lectures. On the flight, they’d spent the first 90 minutes going through the conference brochure and deciding which items would best suit their practice and who would attend each. The rest of the flight, while Keith napped, had been used for Rachel to explain to Y/N all the ways the other women in the practice were rich, selfish bitches that just wanted to make other people do things they didn’t want to.
Y/N was still new to the practice– new to the career in general. She’d been hired nine months ago after finishing her graduate degree and interviewing with several practices in the DC area. She’d fallen in love with this practice that was the #1 recommended practice for women and children experiencing abuse or homelessness in the DC area; when they’d offered her the job, she was over the moon. Her clients ranged from children to teens, from play therapy to talk therapy, and filled her heart knowing she spent her days helping others.
When she’d shared this with Rachel, Rachel had sighed, rolled her eyes, taken a huge gulp of her vodka tonic, and said, “You’re so sweet and inexperienced.”
The more time she spent with Rachel, the more she thought that maybe Rachel was the bitch…
“You should’ve brought a laptop,” the woman next to her whispered when Y/N dropped her pen to flex her hand a few times. She offered a half-hearted smile in return before beginning a flurry of more notes. By the time the speaker was finished, she’d covered the front and back of half a spiral notebook. It was filled with her scribbles from the whole week: each speaker, their background, their contact information, their research, their insight… She'd take it back to her hotel room and transcribe it neatly into a second spiral notebook that she would keep on her well-organized office shelf with all the other meticulously kept notebooks from college and grad school.
She met with Keith and Rachel to walk back to the hotel; Keith was clicking through his Blackberry, presumably messaging his wife as he had most days at the end of the conference, while Rachel had started talking about dinner. For the last four nights, they’d eaten together, chatted about the speakers they saw, and then retired to their rooms alone. Y/N didn’t mind Keith so much; he reminded her of her Uncle Chuck– he was kind and funny and minded his own business. Rachel was tiresome but intelligent; she’d tried to convince Y/N to go out in the evenings for a drink but she’d politely declined each time.
She was looking forward to the week by herself. She’d convinced her boss to let her stay the week– work would pay for her plane tickets while she had to cover the additional week of hotel stay on her own. That seemed like a fair compromise since they’d paid for her hotel and food for the nights she was there on business. Y/N hadn't allowed herself any kind of real celebration after getting her graduate degree; she’d just jumped straight into job hunting and her career. It was time to take a break and enjoy herself. This was her first vacation alone… ever… and she was more than ready to take in Prague in the spring.
“Want to meet in the lobby at 6 and go for dinner?” Rachel asked as they approached the hotel.
Keith shook his head, “I’m going to get room service and finish packing.”
Rachel turned to Y/N who offered a tight smile… she could do one more meal with Rachel before a week alone so she agreed quietly as they approached the elevator bank.
Chris had disembarked the shuttle from the studio and lumbered in the back entrance of the hotel with his cast mates; they chatted casually as they made their way to the elevator banks. An elevator arrived just a few moments later and people clambered in, quickly filling the space. Chris waved them on, not feeling like spending another second cramped in with the other sweaty, exhausted actors. He stood alone waiting for the next car to arrive when the click of high heels on the tiled floor alerted him to someone approaching.
Three figures– a barrel-chested man, a short, middle-aged woman, and a lithe woman about his age– stopped and reached for the elevator call button. It was already lit up from Chris, but the youngest woman tapped it once for good measure and then stepped back and away from it. Chris kept his eyes downcast, trying not to be noticed or engage in conversation. The last thing he had the energy to do was engage in appropriate social banter with strangers. It was hard enough before he became recognizable; now that he had a superhero gig under his belt, it was almost impossible to avoid small talk and autographs once he made eye contact.
That said, from where she stood a few feet beside and in front of him, he struggled not to notice the curve of the young woman’s legs or the way her heels accentuated them in her business casual outfit.
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The elevator arrived and Chris stepped back to let people exit, his eyes still downcast and then gestures to his companions. The older woman walked by him swiftly without a word, the man offered him a curt nod, and the youngest woman said a quiet, “thanks,” as she stepped in front of him where his eyes were again drawn to her curves.
He moved quickly around the young woman and into the back corner where he could try to hide; the other woman asked, “What floor?”
“Seven, please.”
“Easy enough,” there was laughter in her tone when he realized she’d already hit seven for all of them.
She backed away from the buttons and started to talk to the younger woman next to her, asking about dinner. Her companion had moved back beside Chris to lean against the back of the elevator to surreptitiously lift each foot and roll her ankle.
They still hadn’t made eye contact– but as the floors quietly passed and he watched her move on to ease out of her shoe just enough to flex her foot. She talked quietly with her friend, making plans to meet back downstairs in a few hours.
When the conversation lulled, Chris couldn’t help himself, “I don’t know how people don’t break more ankles in heels,” he gestured at her feet. “Seems awful.”
“For the right shoe or the right occasion I’ll take the pain, but I regret my decision,” she started to turn to him but was distracted when the other woman cut in, “is it your ankle again?”
“Yeah,” the younger replied, “I have an old injury that sometimes acts up when I wear heels too much. I think walking on the cobblestones is getting to me.”
The elevator dinged quietly to signal arriving at the floor and Rachel stepped out, followed by Y/N, then Keith, and then Chris. Keith had quietly said goodbye as the elevator doors were opening and Y/N had already wished him a safe flight while Rachel promised to meet him in the lobby at 7:50 tomorrow morning.
Rachel had stopped in the middle of the hallway to talk to Y/N, effectively blocking Chris from going past in the thin halls of the historic building. “Excuse me,” he muttered quietly, trying to get their attention.
Y/N stepped out of the way without looking at Chris; her eyes were still trained on Rachel as she talked quickly about dinner. She hadn’t moved. Y/N grabbed her arm and started to pull her out of the middle of the hallway just as Chris had said, “can I just–” a little more forcefully than he intended.
“I’m moving,” Rachel snapped, looking up at him before her eyes got wide. “Oh God,” she gasped.
Chris wanted to squeeze his eyes shut in frustration. He knew that reaction. He knew what was coming.
“Oh my God!” She said again, louder this time as she reached for his arm, “You’re Captain America!”
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He slowly turned, trying to calm his breathing and stop the sweat that had just started to trickle down his neck again. He was so uncomfortable in these moments. He never knew what to do, how to respond, how long to stand there, how to get out of it… He took in the woman speaking. She wasn’t old and wasn’t unattractive; she was probably in her 50s with copper hair and green eyes; she was short and thin and had on a little more makeup than she needed, was dressed in a tailored pantsuit, and was grinning ear to ear.
“My nephews just love your movie, do you think I could take a picture with you to send them? I took them to see it in theaters. They watch it every time they come over. I’m a big fan too, you’re wonderful.”
Rachel was blushing furiously and talking faster than normal.
Chris forced a smile, “sure, I’d be happy to.”
Rachel turned to Y/N and started to hand her phone over, “Y/N, can you take it?”
Y/N didn’t respond.
Chris finally turned his attention to look at the other woman in the hallway and his breath caught in his throat.
He could still see the teenager in her face, but she was a full-grown woman now. She was stunning– as beautiful as he’d found her in line at the lift, in the tattoo parlor, on the dance floor. Years in between had done nothing but add to her beauty. She’d filled out in the most luscious, delicious way; his eyes trailed all across her body and back to her eyes. Those eyes. The ones he’d been able to both light up and tear up.
His heart hammered harder in his chest while he stared at her– the woman he’d been convinced was the one that got away. The woman he’d hated himself for leaving that night. The woman he very consciously compared every other woman to.
“Chris,” she breathed. He sighed her name in return, both of them staring in silence.
“Shit, Y/N, do you know him?” Rachel practically squealed, looking between the two of them.
“What are you–”
“I’m here for a conference, are you working?”
Chris nodded, “we’re in rehearsals now, filming starts in a few days.”
“Hi, Y/N, what's going on?” Rachel interjected again and Y/N felt frustration coiling, ready to snap. Her emotions were on overdrive right now and the absolute last thing she wanted to do was talk to this woman.
“We met years ago,” she turned to Rachel, trying to keep her voice from shaking, “we were kids. It’s been…” she trailed off.
“We met 15 years ago.” Chris finished for her, turning to Rachel. “Let’s get you that picture.” He told her, taking her phone and flipping it to the new front-facing camera. He held it at arm’s length and they both smiled. Chris took a few and then handed the phone back to Rachel who was already texting her nephews. Chris and Y/N were still staring at each other, neither one of them able to come up with the right words.
“I’ll meet you at 6, Y/N,” Rachel finally looked up from her phone and glanced between the two of them. “I’m going to need a lot of details,” she smirked and Y/N didn’t have the brainpower to roll her eyes. She knew that dinner was going to be a barrage of nosy questions. For a therapist, Rachel was not good at respecting boundaries.
“Should we… I mean… Why don’t we…” Y/N tried several different starts but faltered each time. Her whole body was shaking, she was sweating, and she was so anxious. Y/N was fiddling with the strap of her bag on her shoulder; Chris had seen her do this each time they’d been together– her anxiety manifested in fidgets and lip biting. The lip biting, he remembered, was one habit he liked on her.
“What room are you in?”
“734.”
“I’m 718,” Chris gestured in the opposite direction that Rachel had just walked. Had they been staying just rooms apart for days and never seen each other? They walked quietly down the hall and stopped in front of Chris’s room. They were both lost in thought for several more seconds before he said, “Do you have to go to dinner with her?”
Y/N huffed a laugh before glancing down the hall to see that Rachel was gone, “I don’t particularly want to, but it’s her last night and I already agreed to it.”
Chris nodded, “How long are you here?”
“Another week,” her fidgeting continued.
Chris visibly brightened, “Are you staying here the whole time?” She nodded. “I’m off tomorrow, can I take you to breakfast?”
Y/N hesitated and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth making Chris’s heart skip. She stared at him, her eyes bouncing between his before she nodded, “yes,” she said quietly.
“I’ll come get you at 10,” he started to reach for her, to pull her in for a hug, but he hesitated. He grasped the strap of his backpack tighter and raked his eyes over her face for any signs of regret, or hesitation. She was still biting her lip and watching him carefully; for a long moment, she didn’t respond to him and finally said simply, “okay.”
“See you in the morning,” he watched her walk down the hall, no more than 10 rooms away. He tried not to watch her ass, he tried to focus on all of her from the curve of her neck to the sway of her hips. She glanced back at him as she pulled out her room key; for the first time, she offered him a real smile, and even from down the hall, he saw a blush rise in her cheeks.
He launched his bag across the room to his bed and strode right into the bathroom to crank on the shower. Chris’s mind was racing. She was here. Y/N was here. She was down the hall, right now, and had been for days. He stripped out of the sweats and T-shirt sticking to his body and stepped into the warm water; he probably should’ve gone with a cold shower after seeing her; his whole body was tingling and excited. He was sweating again, he was anxious, and he was coursing with adrenaline.
He was positive, absolutely certain, he’d never have a chance to see her again. When he’d walked out of her DC apartment that night in a fit of stubborn stupidity, he’d hated himself every step of the way…
Chris shoved open the last door and let the cool night air hit him in the face. He couldn’t believe how stupid he was. How had he not seen it was her the moment his eyes fell on her? How had he taken this long to realize that it was Y/N? And more importantly, how was he a big enough dick that he’d just walked out on her after chasing her down and forcing his way into her apartment tonight.
“Fuck,” he muttered to himself. No wonder she’d rejected him. No wonder she's pushed him away. He was impulsive and expected her to jump into his arms with one big gesture. He’d expected that even after he’d misled her about Jessica. Even after he’d spent two hours up against her and flirting with her without realizing who she was. And shit, the comment about other women…
Had fame really done this to him? He had a little taste of being famous with one big movie and it had gone to his head this fast? Did he really have his head so far up his own ass that he didn’t realize the girl of his dreams was standing in front of him? He’d been thinking about her for years– what the fuck was wrong with him? How… HOW had he not realized? He hadn’t been up close to her in seven years but it didn’t mean he hadn’t pictured her, hadn’t seen her pictures….
Chris was cocky, that wasn’t a secret. He knew he was hot shit, he knew that women fell at his feet, and he knew that he enjoyed their attention. He bought them drinks, took them to bed, and didn’t call because he didn’t have to… there was always someone else. But never who he wanted.
Because she’d walked out of that shitty little Boston apartment and he hadn’t stopped comparing every woman’s laugh to hers. He’d followed her basketball career, showing up at any game in LA or Boston without her knowing. He’d watched her stats and seen her success. He’d been proud to see her play live, hiding in the upper levels of stadiums to avoid being noticed, dragging his brother or sisters along whenever he could to be able to blame them if anyone asked why he was there. They’d never asked why they were there. But they’d cornered him one Christmas after they’d all talked and all realized that they’d all been dragged to women’s collegiate basketball games… and always the same team… and then Scott had gotten on the school’s website and recognized that one face from when they were teenagers…
His family knew. His close friends knew. They all knew how bad Chris had it for Y/N.
And yet here he fucking was, standing outside her apartment after he’d stormed out for absolutely no good reason.
He should go back in; he should walk back up the stairs to pound on the door and demand she open it.
But he didn’t.
He sat down on the curb, grateful it was late and there were only a few passing cars on this side street. Chris sat on the curb, his head in his hands, and loathed every part of his being. He decided to sit out here and wait for her to come out. She’d have to leave eventually and he would be here to grovel. He wouldn’t make excuses, he’d be honest– that he was a self-centered asshat who didn’t know his head from his ass and should’ve known immediately who she was.
It wasn’t until almost an hour later when Y/N’s friends, including Annie who he recognized from that fateful weekend and the weeks after, came stumbling out of a cab.
“Christopher Evans,” she slurred, pointing a finger at him as the other girls piled out and into the building, “you hurt her again, didn’t you.”
“Annie,” he said in acknowledgment, not responding to the rest of her statement.
“You’re a dick.” She walked by him and towards the door. He hadn’t realized she’d seen him in there too; of course, she had. He followed her to the door when she whipped around, “You will not come in here!”
“I shouldn’t have walked out on her, please, Annie.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him, watching him beg. She’d done it before, sitting in that park, listening to him plead his case. She had the same look on her face then– one that he couldn’t read; he took a step towards her.
“Annie,” he pleaded, “I know I messed up last time, I don’t want to do it again. I’m not dating anyone, I’m entirely single. I compare her kisses to everyone I’ve ever kissed. Let me go back up there and fix this before it’s too late. I can fix this.”
“Fuck you,” Her words were venomous– a best friend defending her territory– but her tone was a purr; Chris took a startled step back as she prowled towards him. She closed the gap between them quickly though and put her hands on his chest. “C’mon, Evans,” her voice was low, and her hand was dragging across his pecs.
“What the hell, Annie,” he kept walking backward, stumbling over the curb and into the street.
“You can fuck me instead,” she was keeping pace with him; “you can’t have her, I won’t let you near her, but I’ll let you fuck me.”
He threw his hands up in the air as far away from her as possible, “not what I’m here for, Annie, I’m just here for Y/N.”
“I think you just want to get your dick wet, and I can be that for you.”
“I’m out of here,” Chris mumbled, shoving his hands in his pocket and finishing the walk across the street to the other sidewalk. Annie watched him go and he didn’t look back– not at her. He looked back across the street and up at the window that was still lit… the one where the curtain fluttered and he watched a feminine figure disappear into the recesses of the room.
He sat in his room now in Prague picturing that night and the feelings that coursed through him. The residual regret and disgust in himself were present every time he allowed himself to think of that night and how he’d handled it. He stepped out of the shower and toweled off, pulling on sweats and a t-shirt and ordering room service in hopes that some food in his stomach and a beer in his hand would settle his mind to think about what he wanted to say to her tomorrow.
Y/N stared out the window of her room at the bustling city getting ready for a Friday evening. People were going home from work, headed to get drinks, and bringing children home from the park and school. People all around her were going about their business, but she couldn’t.
Chris was down the hall. The last time she’d seen him, it was his retreating form across R Street and down the corner where he’d disappeared and she’d never seen him again. She’d allowed herself to see his movies, and she didn’t run away from his image as she had after the last blow to her ego. She was happy for him and proud of him. She was grateful for those two special nights in Vermont and Boston that had made her feel good. Time had given her perspective to appreciate that they were special moments and to let them be what they were– fun and flirty and nothing more. That night he’d walked out of her apartment in DC had hurt the worst….
Annie charged into Y/N’s apartment, kicking off her heels and finding the girls sitting on Y/N’s kitchen floor eating Bagel Bites and chugging water, giggling over their recap of the night. Annie continued through the apartment to find Y/N curled up on the sofa in sweatpants and a Bucknell sweatshirt she hadn’t seen in ages.
“Y/N… what are you wearing,” Annie sighed, dropping on the sofa next to her and pinching the sweatshirt between her fingers. Y/N shrugged, not responding but tucking in on herself more. Annie saw the puffy eyes and quivering lip. “He’s not worth it.”
“I know.”
“He’s an ass just trying to get some ass.”
“I don’t think he was, Annie, I don’t think I should've pushed him.”
Annie shrugged, propping her feet on the coffee table, “If he can’t handle being challenged then he couldn't handle a relationship.”
“He just wanted so much so fast. He was ready to jump in and be something but earlier tonight…” Y/N trailed off and twisted the sleeve of the sweatshirt in her fingers. It didn’t smell like him anymore, but she hadn’t allowed herself to get rid of it. She’d always intended to give it back to him that night in Boston but she’d left it at Annie’s dorm and then it had all fallen apart. All these years later she kept it tucked in the back of her closet when she wanted to be reminded of him.
Annie huffed, “he just came onto me, Y/N. Forget him.”
Y/N’s eyes widened, “what?”
“Yeah, he just asked me to go home with him. He did it when he kept calling me in Boston too. I had to chase him into the street and tell him off!” She rolled her eyes, “he’s a pig.”
Tears started to stream down Y/N’s face again, “I can’t believe he’d do that.”
Annie shrugged, “do you want some Bagel Bites? I’m going to get some before they’re all gone.”
Y/N shook her head and got up off the sofa, retreating to her bedroom. Her friends had stayed the night, taking up spaces on the sofa, and Annie eventually came in to share Y/N’s bed. Everyone had gone home the next morning hungover and talking about going out that night, but Y/N had crawled back to her bed after she locked the door behind her and cried.
Annie would’ve teased her, but Y/N had always believed in love at first sight because of Chris. She’d never admitted that the feeling she got when she first giggled at him in the lift line– when he was blushing madly and they couldn't stop making eye contact– was a feeling she’d been chasing her entire life. No one had made her feel that again. She’d only ever felt it again twice more: the night in Boston while he touched her and kissed her and for a fleeting moment last night when he’d slid into the cab next to her– when she realized this might actually work out.
Over greasy McDonald’s breakfast (the perfect hangover cure), Annie had gone on and on about Chris, despite the looks Sasha and Jenna kept throwing at her when they saw tears welling in Y/N’s eyes. She’d finally relayed the story about their meetup in Boston, when he’d claimed it was to get Y/N’s number and talked to her but, according to Annie, he’d hit on her the whole time. She said the same thing happened in the street outside last night– that Chris had said he was waiting to take her home and that Y/N was far better off without that sleazy fuckboy.
On the way to the elevators, Y/N glanced at Chris’s door, hoping that fate would call him out to the hallway; when she sensed no movement behind it, she continued to the elevator and then the lobby where Rachel dragged her into the bustling streets and to a restaurant she’d had recommended to her by one of the bartenders.
Dinner was easy enough; Rachel relentlessly pried Y/N for details about how she knew the stupidly handsome Chris Evans well enough to leave them both speechless. Y/N dodged the questions for a while as Rachel continued to top off her wine and eventually, the story tumbled out of her. She couldn’t stop herself; she needed someone to talk to– her feelings were too raw and emotional– she started in Killington and ended in the hallway, filling in as many gaps between as Rachel listened carefully and responded, to Y/N’s surprise, supportively.
“Sounds like you’d be stupid not to give him a chance again. It seems like the universe is telling you that you have to.” Y/N finished the last medovnik and dropped her fork while Rachel continued. “I’ve only ever been in love once, and I didn’t feel half as excited to see her as you do when you talk about Chris.”
“I don’t know if I’m in love with him, I hardly know him,” she sat back in her seat, tossing her crumpled napkin on the table next to her dessert. “And I just… I can’t…” She kept dropping her sentence while avoiding eye contact with Rachel.
Like a good therapist, Rachel caught onto the deflection and pounced; “Sounds like you’ve got more on your mind.”
“I do.”
“Spill,” she leaned forward and propped her chin in her hands, “I have the company card to buy dinner and I’m not paying until you get it all out.”
“I can’t get past the Annie part.”
“That he hit on her?”
Y/N nodded, “I just can’t stop thinking about that– that he’d claimed he wanted me but would then go hit on Annie and try to take her home– twice.”
Rachel was quiet for a moment, “did you talk to Annie about it?”
“Yeah, but she always blew it off and called him names before she changed the subject.”
“Talk to her again, it’s been years now, see if she’ll talk about it. She was probably embarrassed or ashamed that she might’ve shown interest when you were clearly involved.”
Y/N paused, playing with the tablecloth, “We’re not really friends anymore.”
Rachel’s eyebrows shot up, “oh? Why’s that?”
“We had a falling out about six months after that night with Chris.” Rachel was silent as she let Y/N gather her thoughts and continue.
“She slept with my boyfriend.”
“Come again.”
Y/N nodded, “I met this guy Brandon pretty soon after the whole thing with Chris happened. I liked him, he wasn’t going to be the one but we had fun. We all went to a Halloween party, I got too drunk and my friends took me home. The next morning I went to Annie’s to return the shoes I’d worn out… and Brandon was leaving. We ran into each other on the street, he came clean immediately and was at least decent enough to be apologetic before I obviously ended things. I went up to confront Annie and she lied to my face. I walked out and never went back. I took the shoes with me.”
Rachel didn’t say anything for several long heartbeats before she said, “so you’re telling me that she slept with your boyfriend and lied to you and you’re concerned about what happened with her and Chris?”
“Yes.”
“Y/N, you know what happened with them.”
“Huh?”
“Sweetie, you’re smart. Nothing happened with her and Chris. She lied to you then too.”
“I don’t know, Rachel, before that night with Brandon she was my closest friend in the world, why would she have made that up?”
Rachel rolled her eyes but said nothing, flagging down the waiter for the check. They walked back to the hotel with Rachel running her mouth again, although this time, Y/N had more patience for it; it had been a while since she had someone she could talk to…
“I’m going to head to the bar for a nightcap,” Rachel said over her shoulder as she marched away, leaving Y/N at the elevators. “Good luck!”
Y/N spun her ring on her finger while she waited for the car to arrive and rode up alone and in silence to the seventh floor. She made her way slowly down the hallway, pausing again outside his door and hearing the low hum of the television from inside. She hesitated, raising her hand to knock before dropping it and scurrying to her room.
Once inside, she plopped on the bed and continued to play with her ring, twisting it over and over again while her mind coursed through every single second she’d ever spent in Chris’s presence.
In total, it was less than 48 hours.
What was she thinking, throwing around words like love and soulmates for someone she hardly knew? She knew him better from his IMDB profile than she knew him. This was just lust, right? It had to be just lust. Just wanting something she’d never had.
And yet…
She knew what it was like to see his passion spark when he talked about something or someone he loved. That hadn’t changed in any of the moments they spent together.
She knew what it was like to see him look deeply into her eyes and listen to her bare her soul about her fears of failure, her secret hopes to help those who couldn’t help themselves and never ever laugh at her.
She knew what it was like to feel the weight of his hand on her waist bring comfort and solace, even when her anxiety was spiking.
She knew what it was like to watch those blue eyes take in her lips and watch her carefully before he kissed her.
This couldn’t just be lust.
She groaned loudly and forced herself off the bed and into the bathroom to change into her soft, mauve pajamas. She washed the makeup off her face and brushed the wine out of her mouth, swishing the water around and trying to concentrate on the feeling of the water in her mouth, the mint on her tongue… anything to keep her mind off the mountain of muscle down the hall.
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Chris had sworn that he’d heard someone slow to a stop outside his door. He could’ve sworn he saw the shadow of two thin, lovely legs and the sound of hurried breathing before a quick rustle of feet on the carpet moving quickly away.
Then again, he was positive he’d heard someone outside his door every 15 minutes for the last three hours. The first four times he’d gotten up off the bed and checked the peephole. The fifth time it had startled him because it was actually room service. The sixth time, and every time after that, he forced himself to stay sprawled on the bed munching french fries and trying to pay attention to Big Bang Theory reruns.
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t focus on Leonard and Penny, and Sheldon. He couldn’t keep his attention on their chaos and silly drama. All he could think about was Y/N. She was in the same city once again and he was bound and determined to make tomorrow morning the most important date she’d ever been on. He yanked his phone out to look up restaurants when he saw a text.
Scott: you dead? i havent heard from you all week Chris: basically Chris: you’re never going to guess who’s down the hall right now Scott replied quickly: Cher Chris: lol nope… Scott: … Madonna? Chris: … Y/N
Chris’s phone rang immediately and he picked up quickly, “what the fuck, have you talked to her?”
“I’m taking her to breakfast tomorrow.”
“Where? You know it has to be perfect. Was she mad? How did she seem? Did she hug you? TELL ME EVERYTHING!”
Chris laughed, shifting off the bed to his laptop to continue looking for breakfast choices, “she was nervous but she didn’t turn me down on the spot.”
“Christopher Robert, I may have broken her ankle but if you break this girl’s heart one more time, I’m going to break your face. Do you know how many shitty stadium hot dogs I had to eat while you pined for her? Do you know what an idiot you were in DC? Do you know how much I’d love to throat punch you for taking so goddamn long to fix this?”
Chris laughed before sucking in a breath and letting the pause linger; he quietly said, “what if I can’t fix it? What if she doesn’t want me?”
“Then you close the door on it for good, but you’ve always wondered. After you were a complete fool in DC you’ve never dated the same way. You’ve held everyone at arm’s length.”
Chris was quiet, thinking about Scott’s answer. Scott continued to talk; he’d opened his own laptop and was Googling from his apartment in LA, offering suggestions and reading menus out loud while Chris did the same.
He didn’t hear the knock the first time over Scott’s ranting about not being invited to Prague and therefore not being there to help Chris win Y/N back.
At the sound of the second knock, Chris froze and went silent. “Shut up,” he told his brother, refusing to move from the desk… he refused to believe it was real. No one was knocking at 10 pm.
A heavy sigh on the other side of the door made Chris’s gaze yank quickly away from his computer screen and to the crack between the carpet and the door: a shadow.
The shadow shuffled and he heard a quiet, “this is stupid,” before it disappeared.
Chris launched out of the desk chair and across the room, dropping his phone on the desk with his brother’s shouting, “WHAT IS HAPPENING,” into the earpiece. Chris yanked open the door and charged into the hallway.
She was retreating to her room, clad in all pink, her hair piled on her head, and in just socks.
Chris had enough forethought to pull the latch through the door to keep it from locking behind him and he took three large steps to come face-to-face with Y/N.
“I couldn't wait until morning,” she said quietly, her hands twisting in front of her.
He grabbed her hands to still them, pulling them around his neck and dipped his lips to kiss her.
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Taglist: @bellaireland1981 @before-we-get-started @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @elrw24 @maylaysia109 @royalwritersoftheuniversesverses
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lavender-long-stories · 9 months
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Lavender-Multiverse - Vol 6  - Previous Post | Home | Next Post
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My office AU. I have a WIP folder full of them. They make sense for SasuHina and ItaHina. 
Originally titled Hired for Hell, this story was inspired in part by how Hinata handled political clan conversations in Lavender Sand and Lavender Memories. In true Lavender Clouds fashion, Sasuke doesn’t show up for 15 chapters, making everyone ship Hinata with Itachi and Fugaku ಠ-ಠ (y'all concern me sometimes, but I really shouldn’t judge). I love the trope of assistants becoming god-tier by way of fire. Mix in revenge, another twist on the convince/arranged marriage (hello Lavender Sand), and some villain-rich mom drama, and you have Testing Success.
I did love building the relationship between Fugaku and Hinata and the jokes of all the comments made about Hinata being his favorite child.
I know, I know. I will make an ItaHina office AU soon. I need to stop making him a likable character without a corresponding story to point you to. I will make one.
Ending this story marks what felt like my second era of fan fic. [Era One: Lavender Clouds, Lavender Sand, Lavender Memories | Era Two: What He Left Behind, Wheels, Testing Success] Testing Success Cover Art by @nikandrros: Post
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Want to watch Hinata become Fugaku’s favorite child? Ready for K-Drama level of rich bitch mom drama?
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Testing Success
Pairing: Sasuke x Hinata Rating: T
Description: Hinata accidentally applies for the director's assistant position at Uchiha Industries. Though surprised when she gets the job, it seems like the director has it out for her. His sons seem to be on her side, though.
Tags: Romance  |  Fluff and Angst  |  Happy Ending  |  Hyuuga Hinata-centric  |  Alternate Universe - Office  |  Alternate Universe - Modern Setting 
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Image by Raychan
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ecargmura · 11 months
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My Happy Marriage Episode 1 Review: Taisho Era Cinderella Story
Ah yes, the classic Cinderella story. We get a girl being mistreated by her family after her father gets remarried and then she meets the rich man who will save her from her hell. As cliche as the trope gets, I actually like the trope. I like seeing the lead character be super withdrawn and having that one special person come into their life and make them open up and change them for the better.
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However, there are some interesting things that differs My Happy Marriage from the usual Cinderella story. First off, Miyo, our main character, has her father who got remarried. After the birth of her half-sister Kaya, both her biological father and her stepmother mistreat her and her younger sister looks down on her.
The entire first episode is just making Miyo be in the worst situation possible. Miyo’s daily life is just cleaning. Her childhood sweetheart gets engaged to her younger sister and she gets sent off to be married into another family. You just can’t help but feel bad for Miyo.
Miyo is just a miserable character for now. I feel bad for her. She’s been so emotionally abused that all her personality got sucked out and she’s only a shell for now. I just hope that Kiyoka can bring in some personality into her.
Oh boy, Miyo’s family sucks balls. I did mention that her BIOLOGICAL father neglected her after his remarriage. Her stepmother is also terrible. It sucks that the two only care about Kaya and not Miyo. The only “good” thing her father did for her was buying her a nice kimono for the marriage interview. If you look at the things she had packed, she only had two pairs of clothes. That means her father has never bought her clothes until now. On top of that, he makes Miyo go to her arranged partner’s house ON HER OWN! WITHOUT AN ESCORT! He’s certainly not winning any Father of the Year awards ever. Her stepmother is just awful. She doesn’t care about her stepdaughter at all and it shows. She belittles her whenever she can. Kaya is also a bitch. She just looks down on her and sneers at her whenever she can. Like, the way she looked at Miyo as she was getting engaged to Koji made me want to punch her so bad. She just seems like an entitled bitch. Don’t tell me she’s going to go after Kiyoka when she learns that he’s a better catch? 
Miyo’s childhood friend Koji seems like the only one who’s genuinely nice to her, but not even he can stand up to his family. It sucks that the only light in Miyo’s life has to be taken away. It seems that his family is quite powerful because he cannot choose who to marry and such. It sucks that society back then was like this. It just feels heartbreaking to know how many bonds have been broken due to arranged marriages and the powerlessness to prevent them.
I’m also curious to why they arranged her to meet Kiyoka. Did they request her? I don’t think this was ever explained. Her father was like “Here, go to this man’s house. Get married. Bye,” and refuses to elaborate. Who set this up?
My opinion on Kiyoka is nothing right now; he just appeared towards the end of the episode. How am I supposed to make an opinion about that? I just hope he’s a nice guy. Miyo needs some good people in her life.
The anime is super pretty, though! I love the background details like the cherry blossom tree, the water and the trains. Given that Western clothes existed and there are trains, I’m assuming this show takes place during the Taisho era? Because I get reminded of Demon Slayer since that show’s setting takes place in the Taisho era too.
The voice acting is great! Reina Ueda voices Miyo and she does a great job with the soft-spoken tone. Ayane Sakura voicing Kaya was good too. Sakura is a versatile voice actress. She can be the sweetest thing ever or she can dish out the haughty bitch voice with relative ease. Kana Ueda voices Miyo’s stepmom and I’m not used to her voicing an adult since I’m always more familiar with her cutesy roles. I think that the biggest mindblowing role is Kaito Ishikawa in his 5 minute screen time. I’m usually familiar with Ishikawa playing loud, brash and hot-blooded characters so for him to voice a stoic, stern man like Kiyoka is going to take some time for me to get used to.
Overall, Miyo deserves a happy life. I do wonder when the supernatural elements will be implemented into the story since the first episode is just showcasing how bad Miyo’s life is and that she gets sent off to marriage. This is an adaptation of a rather popular light novel series. Maybe I should give it a read when I get the chance.
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gayratdad · 1 year
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Something that I absolutely loved about the movie Fresh (2022),,,, just so many things:
SPOILERS AHEAD:
- in the grocery store scene Noa was standing under a "Fresh Meat" sign
- I loved that when Paul showed up at the end, heard gunshots and then was just like "nah lmao I don't wanna die" cause honestly?? That's some irl behaviour and I was obsessed with it
- I loved the reveal of Steve's wife's leg, a whole other fuckin twist I was NOT expecting. (which also-- the note on the magazine was defs from her??)
- I also really fucking loved Sebastian Stan in this, his total villian era and I'm here for it.
- I loved the social commentary on dating and what women go through. Re: horrible men on the first date, and when women turn them down its an immediate "I wasn't attracted to you to anyway, stuck up bitch" and, how Noa has the keys between her knuckles when she spotted someone following her in an alley. How Steve told her a couple of times that she has a nice smile and needs to smile more.
- The fact that Noa put her keys between her knuckles ready, and it was a chill dude with a baby strolling by. Vs at the end of the movie she used the key to stab the wife. Brilliant, 10/10
- the entire title card sequence. AMAZING I LOVE A GOOD TONE SHIFT LIKE THAT.
- I loved that it was a world that was so rich in history and also had so many questions left unanswered about the cannibalism industry etc.
- Noa flirting with Steve was such a good way to manipulate him as that's how he manipulated her in the start.
- the painting with all the women's stuff in it-- I could SWEAR that there was strands of hair in the painting
- Noa's best friend being queer.
- Noa's best friend searching for her?? Amazing
- Noa said "smile for me" before killing Steve. Amazing, 10/10 LOVED it.
- I'm still figuring out Steve's wife. Was she manipulating him the whole time? Did she eventually end up "falling in love" with him? Did she get involved in the business and is she now like the head of feeding the rich dudes people?? At the end she also told the body guard guy to put his body on ice-- so that tells me she's going to sell his meat?? Which tbh-- Queen Shit I love it.
- after that entire god damn movie that guy from the first date TEXTING NOA ASKING IF SHE UP ??? !!!!!
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graygiantess · 3 months
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Just out of curiosity, what about Loustat makes you not a fan? What is appealing about Devil's minion?
Hey Nonny!
Thanks for your questions!
My answers turned out longer than even I expected them to be so I put them below the break so people don’t have to scroll for a full minute if it comes across their dash and they're not interested in reading it. 🙈
Loustat
I'm just kind of burned out on them as a ship and on cannon-compliant Loustat fics. I wrote some more about why here with regards to fics. I might get back into them as the show and their story progresses.
I love the intricacies of their relationship and how solidly married they are in the show and how the way Louis views Lestat is in part influenced by how he views himself and his own relationship to his own vampirism.
I'd love to see more of their happy times together and them being a relatively happy family with Claudia, and those are the kind of fics I'm still interested in. The show is so rich and saturated and I really think it elevates everything from the books to a higher level, including Loustat.
But at the point in the story where we are now - at the end of S1 ep7/halfway through IWTV book - they just have no business being together, and I'm in no rush to see them get back together on the show.
They got violently divorced for a reason.
I'm convinced the show will make the reunion everything everyone has ever wanted (because the writers and actors are that good), but they need some time apart for both their sakes.
It's the whole 'right person at the wrong time' thing either Sam or Jacob mentioned, though I think a more complete description is that they're both not yet the people they need to be in order for things to be able to work out between them.
Louis needs to figure out who he would be if there was no Claudia and there was no Him (and no Armand), and Lestat needs to be in the dump for a while and think real hard about what he did to end up there.
I love Lestat as a character but I don't particularly like him as a person in S1 (which in this fandom is somehow a controversial stance, when it really shouldn't be). He did some really terrible things and even Lestat agrees that he deserved to get patricided.
And they kill him much harder in the book than they did on the show despite arguably having a much more solid 'case' against him in the show than they did in the book.
Which might also be part of the 'problem'. The writers will have to work really hard to get me to root for Louis taking Lestat back after all the shit he pulled.
Right now, my top 3 ships involving Louis are: Louis/therapy, Louis/Hot Girl Era and Louis/A Nice Boring Man.
But that’s not the type of story this is and Nice Boring Men are not Louis's type, and would make for a much less interesting viewing experience.
(Though I suppose the interview is some variation on Louis/therapy and I haven’t forgotten that casting call for brave homosexual men in the park.)
For now I'm just going to be in my little Armandaniel corner and even smaller Armandiago corner and come May 12th I'll be ready with my popcorn and my screaming crying throwing up gifs to let the tale emotionally destroy seduce me.
Devil’s Minion
Devil’s Minion/Armandaniel are toxic as fuck. Make no mistake. I'm fully prepared for them to be 'worse' than Loustat on the show because their chase didn't start off as a courtship. Armand is going to do some absolutely heinous things to that boy (not to mention the crimes he's about to commit in Paris) and Daniel is going to say a lot more out of pocket shit than he's already done in S1.
It's going to be nowhere near as fluffy as I write them.
They're stalker/victim to lovers, which is a dynamic I would never fuck with in any other genre, because ew (especially in straight ships where the patriarchy gives you an extra layer of power imbalance for free).
And I absolutely hate to be that bitch, but it's gothic horror and they're peak fucked-up gothic romance. 😭
And they're at least semi-self aware of the fact that their relationship is a fucked-up co-dependent hot mess, which somehow makes it more palatable to me. Because I think that's something that Loustat - and Louis in particular - are still struggling to come to terms with about their own relationship, and I don't know if they ever fully get there.
The powerful immortal x just some guy dynamic that I wrote about in my answer to an earlier ask is really what does it for me in terms of making this my favorite TVC ship.
Because Armandaniel also have absolutely no business being together and they're so bad for each other but also so perfect.
This is a very nuance-free, reductive summary, but Armand grows up to people seeing him and thinking "Wow, so pretty, I must possess him". Daniel sees Armand and thinks "Wow, so scary and off-putting, I must be possessed by him". And that's (part of) why Armand likes him back!
Armand has had such a shitty life and he's so done after Louis leaves him. And then he meets this weird little human who sees the darkness in him and wants him despite/because of that and isn't afraid to sometimes call him an immortal idiot, and he reminds Armand that there is beauty in the mundane and it makes Armand want to go on living.
Meanwhile Daniel doesn’t see human life as worth living, doesn’t understand that immortality is a curse and wants that.
And Armand will never be human again and once Daniel becomes a vampire it does actually fuck up what they had, just like Armand always feared.
How beautiful and tragic and doomed can it get?
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There's a lot of similarities and parallels between Loustat and Armandaniel and Lestat-Armand and Louis-Daniel are widely understood to be each other’s respective foils. They're all navigating the same themes and issues in their own flawed ways.
I just like how Armandaniel do it slightly better. And because we don't know what we're getting from them in the show yet, it's easier for me to put my own spin on it when I'm writing fic or making feral screeching noises at Armand gifs.
Because right now my perception is based off the The Devil’s Minion chapter in QotD, filtered through my fangirly pink glasses.
In the show we've only seen Armand as Armand for about 5 minutes, 3 of which were in the S2 previews and trailers. And their interactions in S1 are 95% Daniel talking down to Armand because he thinks the power imbalance is skewed in his (Daniel’s) favor.
Which brings me back to likeabilty as a character vs. likeability as a person.
Show Daniel is not likeable. He is a miserable old cunt coming at both Louis and Armand (and Claudia!) from a position of white privilege.
But that doesn’t stop him from being absolutely fascinating as a character.
And, unlike in real life, being fascinating is much more important in a fictional character than being likeable is. Which brings me back to Lestat. 😊
Plus, the The Devil’s Minion chapter is just such a fever dream and an absolute treasure trove for fic writers.
They travel all over the world so DM Era fics can set in literally any location.
I wrote about Armand getting hyperfixated on toothpaste and that works because he gets fixated on much weirder things in canon. You can throw basically any special interest and niche hobby at him and it'll still be plausible.
Human AU where Armand is a billionaire who wears designer suits and only eats organic homemade food? Yes, of course! Human AU where Armand wears the exact same outfit every day and only eats Poptarts and one very specific kind of pizza from one specific restaurant? I buy it!
So much to write about.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. 🙈
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strangcbchavior · 11 months
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( michael cimino / 23 / cis man / he/him ) — did you see HOPE'S MERCER'S BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER, CHASEN KING-REYES, wandering around the mercer hollow today? i heard around town that the BIKE MECHANIC/STUDENT is QUICK-WITTED, and PERTINACIOUS, but also RASH, and CAGEY. people say that they remind them of THE SOFT FLUTTER OF TURNING PAGES, RUNNING RED LIGHTS, and BATTERED LEATHER JACKETS, but how well can you ever really know someone in mercer hollow? ( jay / 26 / mst / she/her)
✧*・゚𝒃𝒊𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒉𝒚
up until he was eight, chasen was cj king. the only people that were ever allowed to call him that were his parents: marian and waylon king. his mom was a physics teacher at the high school two blocks away from their cute, little two-story house in the suburbs. his father owned a landscaping company and planted the azalea bushes underneath the tree house he built with chasen the summer he turned six. it was pretty close to perfect—and then his parents died in a car crash.
the only family he had left was his grandma with early-onset dementia and his uncle with a drinking problem, so he went into the oregeon foster care system. after bouncing around from home to home for a few years ( no family waned a sullen selective-mute who liked percy shelley and edgar allen poe for long ), chasen was dumped into the place for all the old and unwanted kids like him: a group home. he learned pretty quickly that you couldn’t be the kid with the extensive poetry collection in a group home—and you couldn’t cry, not even quietly into your pillow at night. chasen wasn’t interested in being anywhere in the food chain, but he wasn’t going to be the kid who got pushed around, so he laid a kid out with a punch to the gut on his third day there and kicked him until he stopped smirking. he lost his privileges for a month, but it was worth it to be left alone.
when he was fifteen, a strange lady showed up at the home with an even stranger man. apparently, his father wasn't his father. trippy. looking back, it was kind of obvious. people always asked the white couple where they adopted their brown son from. but his dad was his dad, and mr. reyes was just a rich guy who his uncle tried to extort. for a long time, chasen wished that mr. reyes would've just payed his uncle off and left him alone, but things got better slowly. his siblings were...weird, but his dad ended up being kind of cool.
chasen did very well in school, despite transferring so often as a kid. his only friends were books, and he liked it that way. he got a full-ride to liberty after graduating first in his class, and he never looked back.
thanks to his mom, chasen had an early relationship with science. he liked working with his hands and figuring out how to take things apart and put them back together again. it was only natural that he went into mechanical engineering. he started fixing bikes at the local garage for spare change while he worked on getting his masters.
✧*・゚𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕
character inspo: ron swanson ( parks and rec ), oscar martinez ( the office ), jason todd ( dc comics ), jess mariano ( gilmore girls ), buttercup ( powerpuff girls ), bob belcher ( bob’s burgers ), louise belcher ( bob's burgers )
chasen likes to keep to himself. if you don’t bother him, he has no reason to bother you, but if you poke the bear...watch out.
he has a quick-temper, but he always tries to punch a wall instead of a person lmao. progress is progress, okay. 
he’s usually pretty quiet, and he unfortunately ( or fortunately in his opinion ) has resting bitch face. when he does speak, he is usually being sarcastic or deadpan. def not a people-person, but he’s weirdly good with kids and great with animals bc they lack any pretense lmao.
is a little shit around people he knows well. classic baby of the family shit.  
loves poetry and literature ( the romantic, victorian, and modern eras, specifically ), but he doesn’t talk about that lmao. he’s a lot more likely to talk about the cars he restores in his spare time or video games.
not a sports person, but he works out religiously for “health reasons.”
he hates being in charge, but he also hates being told what to do. his ideal work environment is being given a task and a deadline to complete it by without any instructions he needs to follow lmao. he’ll get it done, but he’ll do it his way. 
he’s used to people having a certain perception about him, so he usually keeps the smart thing to himself. bc. no one expects anything from an idiot with anger management issues. 
oh yeah. he has major anger management issues. in fact, he’s currently IN anger management rn for punching a douche at his dad's last gala 
has a v ‘eat the rich’ attitude from growing up lower working class, but now he is rich, so. it's weird. he doesn't like it lmao. 
he as a not-so secret soft side if you ever see him with kids or animals.
most of his bluster is a giant show for the people around him, and that’s why it’s so obnoxiously loud.
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hitchell-mope · 2 years
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I’ve realised something
So I’m taking an MCU break after I’m finished with Eternals. I’m doing this because I’m a little bit fatigued from playing catch-up. And it just occurred to me. The MCU is playing catch-up too. Tv studios and regular people weren’t the only ones brought to a standstill by covid. The MCU is a business just like anything else. And just like any other business it’s got a quota to fill.
That’s why we’re being bombarded by film after show after film after show. They’re trying to get up to where they promised they’d be back in late 2019/early 2020 before the world was brought to a standstill.
People, mostly on [tumblr] are saying give it a rest. Disney’s evil. Kill the mouse. Etc etc. But again. They’re not the ones in the crunch because of an international crisis that brought everything in the world, including Hollywood, to a standstill are they?
On a separate note. People say that the MCU will ruin the x men. And I’m like. What is there to ruin? The evil geriatric holocaust survivor who became worse than the Nazis but was let off by the fans because they thought he was gay? Or the evil Smurf who left the brother who raised her paralysed on a Cuban beach to die during the missile crisis because he was squicked out when she walked around naked in front of him?Or the lame ass triangle they made between an immortal man born during the frontier era and a stable couple in their mid 20’s?
Nostalgia clouds their minds. Only once it’s cleared can they recognise the x men film franchise for the groundbreaking albeit insanely flawed series it actually was. Take it from me. I rewatched the movies last year. So I’m able to pinpoint the flaws while they’re relying on out of character fanfiction for their background information.
For instance. People complained that they turned Peter Maximoff into a frat boy bitch on wandavision, because he laughed at his Hex name of Bohner. When. In the x men movies he was a kleptomaniac who would ABSOLUTELY have laughed at his name if he could. But they’re too wrapped up in the lousy dadneto fics to accept reality.
I just hope that when they bring the x men on that they treat Xavier properly because the ending he got, exiled from his home and the school he created, his name erased from his legacy, stuck in france playing chess with the monster that paralysed thirty years ago, wasn’t it. They’re pretty good at treating they’re character right. Even the ones that hate Tony have a reason. It’s not just rich man bad
Long story short. Its two very different fandoms. With two very different problems. For two very different reasons. This isn’t a Disney’s evil rant. This is a reality is more complicated than what you believe rant. And to preempt any nutters. If the you give me any “Disney’s evil” shit in the notes. You’ll be automatically blocked
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shortkingkirk · 2 years
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Give me your thoughts about the emo bitch of my heart, Bruce Wayne
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I forgot to fill in my free place I would absolutely marry one bruce Thomas Wayne. That man absolutely would enter into a lavender marriage with me. I'd get his money, he'd get a beard so he could sleep with his husband Clark Kent. Plus god I wanna hang with all the batlings and torture Bruce. Jason and I would make his life hell. He's a gay goth power bottom who's in his MacKenzie Scott Era of trying to donate everything in his name and somehow ending up with more money because the USA is fucked but New Jersey is an entirely undiscovered level of fucked. We're rich were sluts my beard husband punches a guy who calls himself the penguin and I enjoy Alfred's crepes in the morning. Another little freakazoid for my collection
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ao3feed-kiribaku · 2 months
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You Have Stars In Your Eyes (i'm drowning in them)
read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/ziSVWtM by Mitzywoo The Kaminari family is at their wit’s end. Of all of their children, Denki was expected to produce a grand turnout at the courting balls when he turned eighteen, but his new group of rambunctious friends seem intent on making their once pure baby boy into one of the most uncouth omegas society has ever seen, falling short of that of the Bakugou’s boy. It’s rather strange, considering how infatuated he was with the idea of fairy tales when he was younger, longing for an alpha prince to take him away. The matron of the family seems more antsy than ever, considering that the Todoroki family managed to bag the young Prince of Aceadia, Midoriya Toshinori, so it appears that demands have been made to have him mated off by the end of the season, with or without his choosing. Shinsou Hitoshi has recently come back from his travels abroad, and with his sisters failing health, is determined to find a rich omega to marry, to help his family in their trying times. If only there was an omega who could be persuaded to make a deal…   Loosely inspired by Bridgerton and the regency era.  Words: 668, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Series: Part 1 of Star Boy: there's millions of 'em Fandoms: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M Characters: Kaminari Denki, Shinsou Hitoshi, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Bakugou Katsuki, Midoriya Izuku, Kaminari Denki's Family, Ashido Mina, Sero Hanta, Uraraka Ochako, Kirishima Eijirou, Kirishima Eijirou's Parents, Bakugou Katsuki's Parents, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Takami Keigo | Hawks, Dabi | Todoroki Touya, Shigaraki Tomura | Shimura Tenko, Kayama Nemuri | Midnight Relationships: Kaminari Denki/Shinsou Hitoshi, Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou, Midoriya Izuku/Todoroki Shouto, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Bakugou Katsuki & Kaminari Denki, Ashido & Bakugou & Jirou & Kaminari & Kirishima & Sero & Shinsou (My Hero Academia), Dabi | Todoroki Touya/Takami Keigo | Hawks Additional Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bitching, not between shinkami, Bitched bakugou, sorry if your not into that its for the plot, first time writer please like, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Alternate Universe - Regency, Courting Rituals, Omega Kaminari Denki, Alpha Shinsou Hitoshi, Omega Bakugou Katsuki, Alpha Bakugou Katsuki, in flashbacks!, Alpha Kirishima Eijirou, Omega Todoroki Shouto, Alpha Midoriya Izuku, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Unrequited Love, Not Actually Unrequited Love, not ochako friendly, I repeat not ochako friendly, Omega Uraraka Ochako, Background Relationships, Minor Character Death, Not anyone too important, Evil Laughter, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead | Dadzawa, Bottom Kaminari Denki, Switch Midoriya Izuku, Switch Bakugou Katsuki, Attempted Sexual Assault, omegas have vaginas, Parental Yagi Toshinori | All Might read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/ziSVWtM
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elikpwilliam · 3 months
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Book Review: Binge by Douglas Coupland
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A Foray Into Flash Fiction by Douglas Coupland of Generation X Fame
Canadian author, designer, and visual artist Douglas Coupland is best known internationally for his 1991 debut novel, Generation X: Tales for an Accelerated Culture. Although Coupland is not a Gen X-er himself but a Boomer, the novel has frequently been praised for adroitly capturing the spirit and voice of its titular generation when it was youthful and coming into its own. Now in his sixties, Coupland is an Officer of the Order of Canada (essentially the nation’s equivalent of being knighted). He has published thirteen novels, several short story collections, and numerous books of non-fiction. Although his fiction does not generally qualify as science fiction per se, as his stories are almost invariably set in the present day rather than the future or alternate worlds, he is one of those postmodern authors, like J.G. Ballard in his urban disaster trilogy, Don Delillo in Cosmopolis, or Richard Powers in Plowing the Dark, who presciently explore the impact of technological development on sub-cultures grappling with the absurdity of life under capitalism. His 1995 novel, Microserfs, for example, was a ground-breaking and perceptive depiction of Silicon Valley tech culture years before anyone even imagined the dotcom bubble. Coupland’s literary output kept pace with the changing times until release of his 2013 novel Worst. Person. Ever. This would be his final book of fiction in the 2010s, leaving us without the stories of an insightful cultural commentator to help ground us in an age of ever more frenetic social disruption. In Binge (2021), his first book of fiction in nearly a decade, Coupland resumes his engagement with technological and cultural currents of the now. According to the author in an interview with Steve Paikin, the title, Binge, refers to the mode of media consumption that defines our era. We typically associate bingeing with the streaming of entire television seasons or series over the course of just days or even hours. But Coupland claims to have modelled Binge on the discussion boards of the website Reddit to which he ascribes a compulsively readable quality. His hope is that the book will likewise spur its immediate and uninterrupted reading. Crammed into 250 pages are sixty narrative works. These consist mainly of anecdotes, vignettes, and character portraits; few are full‐fledged stories, a point Coupland himself seems to acknowledge implicitly: “I realize this isn’t even an actual story, with a beginning and end,” admits Erik, the overweight, gay, sexually unfulfilled narrator of “Norovirus,” the final piece in the collection. Each of the five-dozen works has been given a punchy title of no more than three words such as “Thong,” “Theme Park,” and “Resting Bitch Face.” Although there are recurring characters (notably Trashe Blanche, Erik’s moniker when in drag), recurring incidents (a young man’s assault with tiki torches on his molesting football coach), and recurring images (bodies stashed in car‐top cargo bins), the book does not have a traditional plot. A better analogy for the collection than streaming television or online forums might be the strobe of disconnected moments found on video sharing platform TikTok. A heterosexual incel on a plane receives advice from Trashe Blanche on how to get laid. A young woman with the rare blood type RHnull is cradle‐robbed by a man who secretly gets rich off selling her and their daughter’s samples to researchers. An ex‐globetrotter searches for the unknown neighbour who keeps anonymously printing hardcore pornographic images on his wireless printer only to be abducted by him. With a different first‐person perspective for each work, we are treated to a panoply of narrative tasters. Indeed, the book could have been called Appetizers or Flights, and we might question whether its flash‐fiction morsels of some four pages offer portions substantial enough to be binged. The collection, abundant as it is with viewpoints, would seem to demand a unique voice for each character. Instead, Coupland’s highly distinctive writing style, which usually brings a welcome stamp of consistency to the sustained plots of his full‐length novels, tends to overpower the prose and narration across these more fleeting and variegated works. Often it is difficult to identify the gender, age, or outlook of a protagonist until the story is almost over. This could be an intentional strategy to meld perspectives and thereby emphasize our underlying sameness, perhaps along the lines of Charlie Kaufman’s stop motion animated film Anomalisa, in which everyone on Earth is revealed to be a single person. But it seems more likely that in the pursuit of that bingeable quality suggested by the title, Coupland has intentionally sacrificed diversity of expression for stylistic consistency more conducive to smooth reading. Often the stories carry a moral, echoing themes Coupland explored in his 2016 essay and fiction compendium, Bit Rot. For example, his contention that psychiatric pharmaceuticals are a boon to society is illustrated in “Adderall” by a hoarder who finally starts tidying up her junkyard of a house after a visitor gives her prescription amphetamines. His lamentations about how the internet has permanently transformed our brains is revisited in the introductory story “Alexa,” in which the photographic‐memory‐endowed narrator notes that people tend to retain less information since the advent of search engines. The Literary Review of Canada praised Binge for its "up-to-the-minute language,” listing several acronyms in common currency, including yolo, nsfw, and fomo. Coupland has always had an ear for fresh lingo and has dabbled in internet slang at least since his 1995 Microserfs. But Gen Zers and Millennials may by struck by the incongruously outdated pop‐culture references. The vast majority—Carry, Alanis Morrisette, Monty Python, Archie, Princess Mononoke—date from between the 60s and 90s, and almost none (I could find only Childish Gambino) from the 2010s. The cover of the book (see above), a blurry, analogue still of Courtney Cox in the music video for Dancing in the Dark with Bruce Springsteen awkwardly clipped from the frame, screams 1980s, as if to warn prospective readers of the anachronisms inside. We might be tempted to chalk up his lapse in capturing crucial elements of the zeitgeist that has been his stock‐in‐trade to a lack of familiarity with the cultural touchpoints of recent decades. But we should also acknowledge that widely resonant references are increasingly hard to come by now that the internet has shattered the traditional monoliths of television, cinema, radio, and print. Perhaps Coupland can be forgiven for digging up famous artifacts from the halcyon days of universal entertainment in an age where algorithms have buried each of us in isolated heaps of shiny, new information trinkets. However we choose to understand the book’s odd nostalgic quality and its one‐size‐fits‐all voice, Binge delivers on the promise of its subtitle, “to make your brain feel different,” offering insights and illuminations about existence in the twenty‐first century, all punctuated by Coupland’s trademark wordplay and wit. When is he going to give us another novel? *This essay was adapted from a review that originally appeared in the winter 2022 edition of The Malahat Review.
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essay by Eli K.P. William. I am the author of the Jubilee Cycle trilogy (Skyhorse Publishing), including: Cash Crash Jubilee, The Naked World, and A Diamond Dream.  I also translate Japanese literature, including the bestselling novel A Man (Crossing) by Keiichiro Hirano. More about me here. Follow me on X: @Dice_Carver Check out my most recent article, a two part history of the Science Fiction And Fantasy Writers of Japan for Nippon.com Or if you want more essays like this one, join my newsletter ALMOST REAL.
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