#the drama level in that family started going up and never went down

[aprill-99]

The funniest thing about the dynamic between Roran, Eragon, and Murtagh spending any amount of time together is that anyone of them at any given moment would be entirely justified in looking around and thinking:

“Oh fuck, now there are two of them-”

#eragon #murtagh morzansson #roran stronghammer #inheritance cycle #the drama level in that family started going up and never went down

[inoreuct]

zosan angst 👀 post whole cake island where zoro is mad for sanji not relying on him enough to help with his family drama. swears to become a better man for him. sanji thinks zoro is the ideal man (he’ll never tell him this though) and doesn’t have to deal with his family drama bc he can “solve it himself” they fight, their screams are heard by the whole ship who is all negatively effected by it. they come to the point of throwing punches (something sanji would never do outside of this intense monent). zoro grabs sanji by them shirt, gets sanji down on his knees, and is hitting him in the face. sanji stops hitting him back and breaks down crying, zoro sees this and stops being angry instantly.

“why can’t you just let me help you”, zoro wants to understand.

sanji’s sobs echo through the room his nose running with blood and tears, “ i never thought i was worthy of being saved.”

zoro’s eyes widen. sanji gasps out through tears, “im sorry”.

something breaks within zoro, he kneels to sanji’s level, and holds him tightly as he sobs into his neck

“i’m sorry too. you are worth more to me than you could ever think.”

zoro take’s sanji’s face into his rough calloused hands, wiping away the blood and tears, “let me me be there for you”.

i swear this prompt grabbed my brain cells and SPRINTED bcs this was slightly more than 1.6k words,,, thank you anon 🤭🤌🏼

Zoro catches a heel to the jaw, lets it whip his head to the side and rolls as he hits the deck. 

His blood is a metallic bloom in his mouth, rose-red as it splatters across the planks and drips from his chin. He’s half sure he just lost a tooth. He’s very sure he bit his tongue. 

He thinks he rather deserves this pain, even if he’s not exactly sure why.

It had started when they were back on the Sunny, after the whole shitshow on Whole Cake Island; Zoro had paced about the deck, strung tight as a tripwire, still itching with the urge to look over his shoulder and around the corners and unwilling to take his hand off Wado’s hilt.

He’d retreated to the men’s quarters alone, too wound up to seek out Sanji’s usual company as waited his turn for the shower and then scrubbed until his skin turned raw. He’d changed into clean clothes and lay down on his bed, put his hands behind his head, tried to breath in time with the gentle rocking of the ocean and found something still binding his lungs tight.

He was safe. They were safe. And yet, it had still felt like his skin was crawling. 

After tossing and turning for a good twenty minutes he’d given up trying to fall asleep and hauled himself out of bed, trudging to the galley for a glass (or a bottle, more like) of whatever liquor he could get his hands on. The ship had swayed as he’d grabbed a half-filled bottle of scotch, bumping the door shut properly with his hip because he knew Sanji was finicky about it.

He’d hesitated before going back to the shared cabin. His bed hadn’t been the only one empty, and there was cigarette smoke rising from the helm. 

Sanji had barely reacted when he’d settled beside the cook, elbows propped on the railing as he took a swig of his drink. It went down easy; everything Sanji had always did. Some nights Zoro found himself wishing for more of a burn if only to help him feel something. 

He’d eyed Sanji out of the edge of his vision, tongueing behind his canines as he noticed the way the cook’s hair was all over his face, more so than usual. Both his eyes— no, not his eyes, Zoro had realised. Both his eyebrows were covered—

And it had sunk in slowly, like a lead weight to the bottom of the ocean. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he’d muttered, half to the mouth of his bottle, and Sanji had sighed.

“What do you mean, marimo?”

“You know what I mean.”

And Sanji had. He’d tilted his head, taking in a bracing breath, lips pinched in something that was supposed to be a smile. “Not your battle to fight.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Zoro had snarled, suddenly angry, and it made him dig his nails into the peeling paper label beneath his fingers. “You— We do this shit together, curly, that’s what we agreed—”

And Sanji had turned away silently, pushing off the railing and walking off to God knew where, and Zoro had grabbed his wrist before he’d realised what he was doing.

“Do you just not trust me?” he’d gritted, desperation sharpening his tongue, a little voice wailing in his head and sounding a bit too much like his younger self for his liking. 

Sanji had barked a laugh, burning his cigarette down to a stub in one long inhale. “Now that’s bullshit.”

“Then? What?” I’d do anything, is what he hadn’t said. Anything for you to let me in. Let me help. 

“It’s not your fight, alright? Just leave it.”

Zoro had wanted to scream, just a little. He’d been distantly aware that his grip was in danger of crushing the bottle but he hadn’t cared at all. Sanji had shoved him away when he hadn’t let the matter go (because how could he?), and he’d shoved back, and then it had escalated until they were fighting across the deck and now—

He snaps out of his head when Sanji screams, a ragged thing torn out of his chest, abandoning all reason to tackle him bodily to the ground. Zoro stumbles and hits the deck hard, pain flaring sharp as his elbow jams into the ground and a fist sinks into his gut. He’s snarling as he rolls them over, as he pins Sanji’s wrists to the ground and lets out a grunt when a kneecap catches him beneath the ribs.

“Why can’t you just stay out of it?!” Sanji yells, right in his face, hair a mess and eyes wilder than Zoro has ever seen up close.

He falters. Just for a moment, but it’s more than enough for Sanji to slip out of his grip and wriggle away, and the pit in his gut grows ever larger. “They hurt you! They were hurting you!” he roars, scrambling to his feet, and it rather feels like someone has a crushing hand wrapped around his heart.

“It doesn’t matter!” the cook cries, swinging a fist towards his face, and Zoro dodges. Sidesteps, slams a foot down behind Sanji’s kneecaps and slugs his knuckles across a pale cheek if only to snap Sanji out of whatever the fuck is going on, he raises his fist again and—

Freezes. Bile crawls up his throat as his heart sinks. Sanji’s eyes are wet, so blue they’re nearly glowing in the darkness, and Zoro is so, so tired. He vaguely registers the rest of the crew behind them and he angles his body to hide Sanji from view; he knows the cook would hate their nakama seeing him like this. The hand he has wrapped in Sanji’s collar loosens, falling away like fluttering paper, and he drops to his knees with a heavy thunk.

Sanji shudders, and Zoro feels sick. His — he doesn’t know what they are, but Sanji is his — cook’s cheekbone is already bruising, blooming purple-pink, and guilt sinks its claws into his stomach. “Why can’t you just let me help you?” he hears himself plead, breathless and choked, and Sanji smiles with blood across his teeth.

“Because I never thought I was worthy of being saved,” he whispers, looking down at his trembling hands. There are tears dripping off his chin now, luminous streaks down his face that suddenly looks haggard in the starlight. “And I never wanted you to see me like this.”

Zoro thinks he breaks. Shatters right apart like the bottle of scotch on the ground not far away from them, amber seeping sticky into the wood. He’d have to apologise to Franky later, he thinks a little wildly, throat tight and fingers numb as he reaches out to pull Sanji to him.

The cook goes slack like a puppet off strings, hiding his face in the crook of Zoro’s neck as he really starts to cry. Zoro sits back on his heels and takes his weight, cards a hand through his hair so that it doesn't stick because he knows that Sanji would make a fuss about it being all over his face later, and it’s these tiny, trivial things that wrench a hollow sound from his lungs. “There’s no such thing as it not being my fight, you hear me?” It comes out more watery that he likes, but the laugh-sob Sanji lets out tells him the message got across. “If it’s your fight, it’s my fight. I’m with you till the end no matter what happens.”

“It’s pathetic,” Sanji hiccups, shoulders hitching as he tries to get himself under control.

“No, it’s not.”

“I’m pa—”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” Zoro hisses, at odds with the way he rubs a soothing palm over Sanji’s back. His knees are starting to hurt. He doesn’t care. “They hurt you. They put you through some fucked-up shit, cook, and then you had to go through it again. And you were strong enough to make it out but you— You could stand to give it a rest, alright?”

It’s times like this when he wishes he could be better with words, because Sanji looks a little like he might start crying all over again when Zoro takes a peek at his face. He presses his thumbs flat to wet skin, salt cooling in the night wind, dragging up along Sanji’s cheek as the cook sniffs. “Let me be there for you,” he rasps.

He feels like he’s been scraped raw from the inside out. Like someone had hollowed him out with a ladle and now his guts were spilling all across the deck. He doesn’t know how to describe the twisting in his chest when he thumbs rust-red iron away from Sanji’s bottom lip, regretfully cups the spill of colour spreading over the right side of his face. “Look at me?” he tries again, and Sanji does, fine lashes clumped with tears and inhale trembling. 

“I’m sorry,” he gasps, and Zoro is an open wound, raw and weeping as Sanji climbs into his lap and curls up into a ball. 

“You are worth so much. To the crew, to our friends—You’re worth more to me than you could ever know. So shut up and stop trying to deal with it alone,” he says in lieu of a reply, achingly quiet. He hopes it’s enough as Sanji digs lithe fingers into his shoulder. 

He welcomes the pain like an old friend. Bears it gladly, for if he could take all of Sanji’s he would. 

But he can’t— So he tries. Tries to be gentle, as much as he knows how, sits properly and folds his legs and rocks them back and forth because it helps Sanji’s breathing even out. Traces the spirals of his eyebrows and brushes his mouth over the bruise on his cheek, presses his silent apologies into skin.

Sanji’s spine bows beneath his hands, and the cook’s fingers are wound tight into the back of his shirt like it’s a lifeline. His pale hair tickles Zoro’s jaw, impossibly mussed and starting to curl with the sea air. Their crew is waiting. Worried, surely, but they can wait a little longer; Zoro will make it up to them.

For now, he thinks he and Sanji have earned this. 

fin.

#zosan #zosan fanfic #one piece zosan #zoro x sanji #ronoroa zoro #black leg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #this was so fun to write i’m ngl #one piece #one piece sanji #one piece zoro #about time i started angsting them #ask box #ino’s ask box

[squeakygeeky]

Naughty Babe series vs novel

I enjoyed Naughty Babe more than I was expecting. I think part of that had to do that I binged most of it the day my mom went home and I wanted shiny nonsense as a distraction. Weirdly Naughty Babe is one of the only two BL dramas where I was familiar with the source material before the series instead of the other way around, since I read the novel a bit after Cutie Pie finished airing. I liked the series better. On a completely shallow level, visuals are definitely a strength of the franchise (CGI Tiger excepted), but a few of the changes worked for me.

I'd been wondering how they'd adapt the novel, since it had a bunch of stuff related to a childhood puma attack and various pumas being kept as pets, and Cutie Pie had replaced that with dog related trauma, plus Cutie Pie had Diao and Yi figuring things out, while in the novel they've been engaged but basically strangers for seven years.

But anyway we're just ignoring the dog stuff I guess and replacing the puma with a tiger, so that was that part taken care of. I think seeing Diao and Yi happy together before actually made the faked amnesia plot go down a little easier for me. As a ploy to start a real relationship it felt super uncomfortable, but as an attempt by a panicking fiance to buy some time to save his relationship it was about as silly as everything else going on. Yi came off as a whole mess in the series and that helped soften his character for me. The misunderstanding with the sisters seemed more ridiculous in the show though, given that the novel made it more clear that Yi was spending time with his family in secret after his dad forbid it.

There's this whole think in the novel where five years earlier Yi had gotten really drunk and Diao they had really bad sex, initiated by Diao, and just never talked about it or had any kind of physical intimacy again before Diao's attempt to flee to Switzerland. So I'm glad there's no way that would have fit the show's timeline, and the show had great intimate scenes in general. Yi always seems oddly surprised and grateful Diao is interested in having sex with him which is kind of endearing.

I'm especially glad the show didn't have Yi being a secret judo expert who could have beaten Diao in a fight because please narrative, let Diao have his One Thing. Series Diao also gets a few opportunities to stand up for himself in a really clear and firm way like with the student's dad who was flirting with him and with his own father at the end. Love that for him, I've always been team Diao.

The only thing I wish we'd gotten from the novel was the reveal about Yi's Dad having a male sugar baby...

#naughty babe the series #thai bl #i'm back baby #and by back i mean alone in my apartment with nothing better to do

[billfarrah]

I don't know if I'm in the minority here but what I loved about season 2 is actually Simon's storyline! I get wanting to dive deeper into his family life and that better be the plan for season 3 if they get one, but all the things we did get I thought were brilliant. I loved loved Simon in season 1 but he at times he came across a little perfect with his incredibly strong morals and such a clear understanding of who he is. I mean yes he was selling booze and drugs to help him and Sara make it through Hillerska but that felt pretty justified.

I don't know how anyone can say that Simon was just reduced to a love interest this season when those romances worked so well to bring to light the way Simon struggles. We learned that he runs away from difficult feelings instead of really dealing with them, he can be talked into things he knows are not right (we can say whatever we want about Marcus and his manipulation but Simon should have never even went on a second date with him) and we learned that to an unnerving level he doesn't let himself break down (that gun scene and the way Simon held all of his anger in - chef's kiss acting from Omar).

And clearly there's something about Wille that just makes him feel all the possible emotions and he's so drawn into that and maybe a part of it is the fact that he gets a little bit off on the drama (hello the whole swinging a ball at Wille's face and then proceeding to make him jealous at the locker room and at the ball despite the fact that he knew perfectly well that Wille is already so fucking jealous). Now that I think about it, and don't hate me for it, I suspect Marcus all in all is a little too boring for him. A kid he went to pre-school with who knows all of his personal shit because their mothers are friends? That's not the life Simon wants, he doesn't want to stay in Bjärstad, he's told us this in so many ways. He wants to be a singer probably. Listen, he kissed an obviously closeted Prince of Sweden after spending the equivalent of one day with him, he is looking for drama just a little bit. Simon is good and honest and he loves the people around him so much but he's also a little messy and a little petty and he doesn't always make the right choices and all of that just makes me love him a thousand times more.

Sorry for the insanely long message I just have a lot of thoughts that I'm desperate to share 😂 Love your blog and the incredibly thoughtful conversations you are having here 💞

I love this I love this I love this I want to have this framed. This is exactly how I’ve come to view Simon’s storyline in season 2 after sitting with it for a while.

At first I was a little bummed that we didn’t get more of Simon’s family life, but if you think about the way Simon’s storyline ended in s1, it leads perfectly into his storyline in season 2. His season 2 arc begins when Sara tells him he lets everyone piss on him and when he tells Wille that he has to deal with things on his own. Simon took what Sara said to heart and said it was time to start prioritizing himself. He had no reason to stay in contact with Micke and the main thing he’s dealing with in season is his heartbreak over Wille and the video situation. What we see is a Simon who is desperate to move on and forget everything that happened the previous semester and the way he deals with that is by running away. He does it in season 1 too (for example when he runs away from his and Wille’s argument in the music room).

I understand why people say he was reduced to a love interest, but to me, the centre of this story is the love story, so of course Wille and Simon’s character arcs are going to heavily deal with that. Wille’s storyline was heavily about his feelings for Simon as well - Simon is all he wants after all. The focus of the season was them trying to live without each other and it not working.

I also agree that Marcus is too boring for Simon. It’s set up in season 1 that Simon wants more out of his life as you said and he’s very clearly drawn to Wille - Rosh even calls him out on it in season 2. He is scared of getting hurt but can’t help but be drawn in. He keeps Wille at a distance but then pulls him back in when he feels him drifting away. As you said, he’s a little messy and petty and he experienced so many emotions this season and I thought it was brilliantly done.

Simon has a fire inside of him just as much as Wille does and that’s why they’re so drawn to each other - they bring that fire out in each other.

I also loved that we got to see more of Simon’s love for singing. I thought that part of his character was underwritten in season 1 and I’m so happy they expanded on it.

I wish I had more to add but you explained it so perfectly. Feel free to slide into my DMs with your thoughts anytime; this was a pleasure to read!

#young royals #wilmon

[athanza]

"Snowfall" - Part IV

Fem!reader (from a non-canon, lesser known house) + Aemond Targaryen (romantic) + Rhaenyra Targaryen (platonic) + Damon Targaryen (platonic) + Helaena Targaryen (platonic)

Tags: Family drama, royal politics, romance, platonic fluff, angst, lots of tention (good and bad), protective Aemond, protective Rhaenyra, found family

Warnings: An attempted SA, mentions of parent death during childbirth, parental abuse, canon violence, Aegon being a creep, canon swearing, a little bit of light smut later down the line but nothing too nsfw.

Summary: Elisana's father brings her with him to King's Landing when he's summoned by the Queen to discuss a rebellion in his territories. Her and Prince Aemond begin to fall for each other but family secrets begin to surface and it creates a tense situation between her house and house Targaryen.

Part 1 | Part II | Part III

Araxi glared at Elisa as she towered over her, almost thirty feet in length, her young and not yet battle-hardened scales gleaming.

Elisa was in awe but terrified as she could tell by Araxi's body language that she was not happy she was there.

She began to slowly crawl backwards in the hopes of a chance of getting away but the glow appearing in the beast's throat burned those hopes to ashes.

Araxi opened her powerful jaws wide and just as the glow became blinding, Elisa held up her hand.

"Dohaeris!!" She yelled.

Araxi hesitated.

"Dohaeris Araxi!"

Araxi let out a roar so loud she knew it would have woken almost the entire palace and she winced from the sheer volume. She didn't know what the word meant but she remembered Jaecerys saying it to his dragon when they were children.

She pulled herself to her feet as she kept her hand raised in front of her, Araxi closed her jaw, hesitant but still restless.

"Dohaeris!!"

Something had changed in Araxi's eye, the malevolence had dissipated, although the danger was still present.

Aemond appeared at the mouth of the cave where they stood and his eye grew wide as he saw what was happening. He went to run forward and help her until he realised what was going on.

Araxi leant her huge head down and looked closely at Elisa, staring into her eyes. She snorted, the air almost pushing Elisa backwards.

"Dohaeris." She said once more, but it had been done.

Araxi had calmed.

"Elisa." Said Aemond.

The dragon looked up and scowled slightly and Elisa turned.

Aemond walked up to her as Araxi receded back into the depths of the cave and she embraced him. He held her earnestly as he thought on all of what had just happened, comforting her as she cried into his shoulder.

Just as soon as they returned to her chambers, they had been summoned. The dragonkeepers had informed the Queen of what had just transpired, and everyone had been called to gather.

Elisa walked hesitantly towards the council chambers, Aemond's hand resting reassuringly on her lower back. She knew what she had done and she knew the consequences would be dire. She feared being banished, never to see Aemond or Haelena again, she feared her father's wrath.

Aemond removed his hand as the doors opened for them and the others were already waiting, including Aegon who sat beside his mother with a swollen eye and cut lip.

She felt herself shrink as all heads turned towards her when she entered. Her father stood restlessly by the fire and he turned to her with an anger he had not seen before.

"You useless cunt of a girl!!" He yelled, storming toward her, but Aemond drew his blade and pointed it at him before he could step any closer.

Lord Eris stopped and glared at Aemond, knowing he was no match for him in a fight.

"Enough!" Alicent exclaimed. "Lord Eris, sit down! And Aemond, put that sword away or gods help you."

Aemond kept his blade at eye level, making lord Eris back down first, only then did he sheathe his sword.

"What's the matter?" Asked Rhaenyra, as she stood holding he pregnant belly, her hand in her husbands'.

Alicent didn't know how to start.

"The dragonkeepers sent word to me a short while ago, that they had seen the Lady Elisana in the dragon dungeons tonight, and that she had-" she hesitated. "Tamed Araxi."

Everyone's expressions shifted immediately.

"What?" Blurted Aegon.

"But only one of dragon blood can tame a dragon." Said Lucerys.

Everyone's eyes looked to Elisa again and she could hardly look any of them in the eye.

"Do the keepers speak the truth?"

"They have served this family for generations, I trust their word." Alicent replied.

"But then-" Said Jace.

"This is rubbish!" Declared Lord Eris. "My daughter has no Targaryen blood! Yes she has the colourings of a Targaryen but only from her mother who was a true-blood Lannister."

"Well she must or what has just happened should never have transpired." Added Rhaenyra.

"Elisa." Said Alicent, looking at her searchingly.

Elisa looked up at her, nearly quivering with fear at what was possibly to transpire.

"Who is your father?"

Elisa's heart beat faster by the moment and she tried so hard to keep her composure.

"Lord Eris Denaron, your grace."

"No." Said Alicent, her gaze even stronger now, holding Elisa in place. "Who is your real father."

"Your grace I-"

"Speak girl!" Said Daemon, sitting beside his wife. It was the first she had heard him speak since he arrived back in King's Landing.

Her eyes quivered slightly with tears, having still not had time to process her emotions from the events of the night. She promised she would tell no one.

"My father-" Every possible consequence for the words she was about to speak bolted through her mind and she saw no way out of this, no matter how hard she thought.

"My father...is Prince Daemon Targaryen." She revealed, almost at a stutter.

Their eyes, now widened, looked to Daemon, who seemed only somewhat less surprised than the others.

Rhaenyra let go of his hand as she processed the information but Lord Eris began laughing.

"Of course." He chuckled. "I knew that whore had a lover. And of course it was a fucking Targaryen!"

"Take care with your words Lord Eris!" Rhaenyra snapped.

"My mother told me of my real father as she lay dying. She must have intended to die with her secret but she was so feverish in her last moments, I-"

"Explain yourself Daemon." Said Alicent with an exasperated sigh.

Rhaenyra looked to him, also wishing for an answer.

"I visited Lord Eris' territories for a peace treaty many years ago. I bed Lady Lyara Denaron. She fell pregnant soon after, though I had no way of knowing if the child was mine...until I heard of her colouring."

"So you knew?" She asked.

He hesitated. "Yes."

"Gods be good!"

"What were you doing in the dragon dungeons in the first place?" Asked Lord Hightower, only now taking part in the conversation.

It was then she began to panic even more and she thought her heart would burst from her chest is was beating so fast. She couldn't tell thr Queen her son had tried to take her forcefully so soon after discovering the truth of her heritage.

"I-"

"We were training." Said Aemond.

Lord Eris' hateful gaze continued. "Training?"

"She wished to learn and so I was instructing her. She left early and came across Aegon."

Elisa looked to him and shook her head just slightly enough for the others not to see but he saw, he also saw the pleading look of fear in her eyes, but he knew his mother would believe him.

"He forced himself on her and she ran when I pulled him away. When I caught up with her she was face to face with the dragon. What the keepers said is true."

Alicent's face dropped in disappointment. She knew what Aemond said of Aegon was true, and so did everyone else.

"I promise you, your Grace, I did not tame Araxi on purpose. I only used a word I had heard Jacerys use on his dragon when we were children, I don't know what it means."

"I believe you." She replied.

"Please have mercy my Queen, I'm begging of you. If you wish to banish me, I will leave. If you wish me to serve you until my dying day, I will do so without argument."

Alicent's eyes flashed with pity at the girls words. She knew there was only one solution, but it would not go down easily with the council. As a mother, she couldn't bare to think of how Helaena would react if she could no longer see her childhood friend.

"Prince Daemon." She said. "Would you be willing to accept the Lady Elisana as your child and give them the name of Targaryen?"

The shock rippled from face to face.

"Your grace!" Exclaimed Lord Eris.

Daemon looked to his wife, the mother of his four children, two already were not her own, yet she mothered them as if they were.

Pushing aside her feelings of her husband's past discretions, she took his hand and gave him a look of assurance.

"I would." He said.

"Then I hereby declare Lady Elisana as your true blood, and her name now Lady Elisana Targaryen. Her ties with house Denaron are now forfeit and she may inherit no titles."

Elisa stood in the room feeling such overwhelming waves of emotion she couldn't think or say anything. Tears still flickered in her eyes but now for vastly different reasons.

"Take her." Spat Lord Eris. "I have no need of another whore in my family."

"I would also like to declare a betrothal." Queen Alicent added, ignoring him. "Of Lady Elisana Targaryen and my second son, Prince Aemond Targaryen."

The profound nature of these declarations were not taken lightly and were felt by everyone in the room.

Elisa's breath hitched at the second announcement and it felt as if the world was spinning. She didn't know how to react to any of this. She expected banishment, not a change of name and a betrothal, and not to the Queen's own son.

She turned to Aemond and he took her hand and kissed it, still as shocked as she was, though he hid it well.

"My lady." He said.

She squeezed his hand and looked back to the Queen.

"Your grace I- I have no words."

"Your heritage is no fault of yours, nor the taming of Araxi. Your discretions are of no consequence now that the truth of your bloodline is known. You are to live here in King's Landing as your new name requires of you."

She knew. Alicent knew she wanted to stay. She knew Lord Eris's temper, and she knew Elisa's feelings toward her son. She knew it all.

#house of the dragon #hotd #hotd fic #hotd fanfiction #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon fic #house of the dragon fanfic #house of the dragon fanfiction #aemond targaryen #aemond #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x fem reader #aemond targaryen xfem!reader #aemond x fem!reader #aemond x y/n #aemond targaryen x y/n #alicent hightower #daemon targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #snowfall #athanza

[mirambles]

Little Women - The Ending

What a wild ride this drama was! When you watch too many KDramas there is a constant cynic in you wondering if the drama with a solid start will derail after it hits the mid way mark - or will the finale be a disappointment. Every episode of Little Women upped the level of mystery, thrill, sinister plots, character twists and you kept wondering if the writer and director would be able to tie all the loose ends or will it make no sense at all and leave us infuriated.

The plot twists were largely unexpected, to maintain such consistency over 12 episodes is near impossible, getting 1-2 plot twists right amongst 20 odd is a big win for the writer. It means she had us glued, she had us guessing, she had us theorising and she kept blowing our mind and surprising us. Jung Seo Kyung deserves a standing ovation.

Before I jump into the main characters and their ending - just wanted to put it out there that every single actor/actress in this drama - whether the role was big or small, brought their A game to this drama. This is what great direction and writing can do!

However it left me baffled that people are actually lamenting and disappointed that InJoo and DoIl didn’t get their ‘happy ending’ - are you effing kidding me? Did we even watch the same drama? The romance is a side plot - it didn’t even exist or even if it had , it would have no bearing on the story. Please stop obsessing over this non existent plot point. DoIl was a side plot. Let it be that - don’t make the drama about him.

I will re-emphasise this - a drama made by women for women. The story was about the 3 sisters who loved each other immensely and would go to any lengths to protect each other, the story was about the heiress who went rogue after being denied her right by patriarchy, the story was about a friendship between two young girls wanting to free themselves of their family burdens, the story was about a woman’s revenge to avenge her mom’s death. The story was about these women fighting their battles - winning some and losing some and the men were a side plot, they were mere pawns and let them be at that. Don’t make a woman’s life about the men in her life.

The ending was poetic in many ways - Won Sang A bringing about her own destruction. Her guilt over her mom’s death, her anger at being discriminated channeled in the wrong way. Uhm Ji Won was brilliant, simply brilliant in shifting those expressions and her cold calculated behaviour sent chills down my spine.

In Kyung was the smart, principled one, but was equally reckless and impulsive; however she realised in quick time the importance of holding back the important cards to play at the right time. I’m also glad she realised that brain producing alpha waves is the right choice over her heart racing. Nam Ji Hyun was stellar and I haven’t seen her look this gorgeous in any drama of hers. She slayed the pants look in this one.

InHye - everyone hated on her and her selfishness but she turned out to be equally selfless - never ever forgetting her sisters’ love and sacrifices. Once she found her path, she made sure her sisters were in a comfortable place just like she was. She was a great friend to HyoRin and helped her escape a life that would have been pure hell, and who knows might have tipped her to the dark side. How valuable is their friendship to each other.

InJoo being in the apartment alone - this scene was the most poignant one in the finale for me. How often do we define our happiness by the people in our lives? How often do we forget to place ourselves ahead of others? The grand-aunt did deliver some wisdom nuggets to InJoo. InJoo who loved her sisters and her life was only about them, was now by herself; still loved by her sisters, but free of the responsibility to take care of them, free to live her life. She wasn’t lonely, she was just relieved. Despite all she was put through, her innocence and naivety were not damaged. As @kdramaplaybook on twitter said she grew but she stayed the same.

The consistency in the characters throughout the drama was impressive. DoIl loved his money and he probably liked InJoo too l, but if he had left it all for her - it would be so cliched and inconsistent and hence I liked where it ended. Maybe they will meet, maybe they won’t , there are other fish in the sea. InJoo needs to finally live her life, happiness is not always being with your loved ones, sometimes it also lies in letting them go to pursue their happiness and putting your own happiness first. InJoo can do whatever she wants to be happy - even if that means spending all her money on buying truckloads of lipglosses and icecream.

I may need to write another long post in praise of Kim Go Eun’s performance as InJoo in this drama - she nailed every expression, but most of all I loved her expressions when they changed in split second from ‘There I got you’ to ‘holy shit did I mess up again’. I love Nam Ji Hyun, but Kim Go Eun had the meatier role and she did full justice. Having watched quite a few dramas of hers, this is by far her best one.

The background score and the cinematography were two equally powerful characters in this drama and I can write pages on every shot , frame and scene where they took the story ahead or warned us of the upcoming twist or shocked us to the core. They elevated every frame of this drama. As my friend @KdramasSlump on twitter said - this drama was pure art.

The drama praises would be incomplete without praising the director Kim Hee Won ( also directed Vincenzo) and writer Jung Seo Kyung of this drama. Sure men write good thrilling plots, but women write thrilling plots with equal emphasis on emotions , life’s lessons and well etched characters. Kingdom was a case in point and now it is Little Women.

This drama has so much to be spoken and written about - the social commentary in it, life’s hard hitting truths in so many dialogues, it could well be another long post. It will be a long , long time before I get over this drama and multiple rewatches will happen to discover more hidden meanings behind every dialogue and scene. When a drama sucks you in and engulfs your mind like this - you know the team has delivered a masterpiece, what’s more wonderful is that an all women team delivered it and I will forever be rooting for more of this to happen!

If this drama doesn’t get all the awards - I’m staging a revolt!

#little women kdrama #little women #tvn little women #nam ji hyun #kim go eun #park ji hoo #uhm ji won #finale #wi ha joon

[anarchytaken]

The Way to a Vipers Heart

You weren’t sure how your life became this way. For context, you're dead. Not living, unalive, not in the living realm, overall, cold body and heart not beating. How and why? To start, you’ll have to go to the life you had before, in which you were the sole heir of a wealthy family. That sounded good, right? Wrong. Your parents are not the best since they have high expectations of you being their child, and anything you do that doesn’t meet their expectations, they verbally abuse you. They expect a six-year-old to get a perfect score in math - middle school level math!? - when your six-year-old mind just wanted to play. Yeah, they’re delusional and narcissistic. 

It wasn’t until you got older that you became aware of your situation, how unrealistic your parents' demands are, and how they clearly see you, their child, as an asset. And the cherry on top? The multiple assassination attempts on your life. You weren’t sure if they were rivaling families or companies, but at the age of ten, you knew you had to be cautious. If food or drinks were tampered with? You made one of the staff taste tests. If a maid tried to kill you in your sleep? Don’t worry, you have an alarm that will notify the guards. You can’t really rely on your parents since the last time you brought it up, they just said “Deal with it. You’re our child, so you should be able to handle it.”

Yeah, your parents were shitty.

You didn’t really have friends to play with or any extended family, and your parents made you watch documentaries of successful people or other educational stuff for your upcoming teachings to success. You had learned to dance when you were seven, but after obtaining an iPad, you discovered the world of dancing and music. You loved the varieties of dance styles, from contemporary to traditional and cultural dances from foreign countries, to some known styles such as salsa, waltz, and erotic pole dancing.

You had also used the Ipad to watch some non-educational videos when your parents weren’t home and you were alone. You were introduced to a colorful world of fun and creativity of games and gaming videos along with the drama side of news reports and Karen/Kevin activities.

You weren’t interested in pole dancing because it was sexual, you were just fascinated by the control and strength of the dancers, how their grip on the pole never faltered, and how they moved around the pole like a snake. It intrigued you. And when you were too tired to dance, you went to your other source of escape Twisted Wonderland. You didn’t know much about Disney since your parents found it ‘garbage’ in their words, but through the game, you had come to love the characters and development, the storyline, the lore of the game, and more.

Though, you think they should be called vampires instead since they seem to like to suck out the fun and common sense of people, plus, it’s an insult to people who are actually named Karen.

However, they weren’t enough to not make you wanna die. You didn’t have a stable adult figure to hold on to, and your parents didn’t seem to care about your well-being - well mental well being that is. You didn’t want to live this life. So the next and last dinner you had with your parents, you noticed one of the staff tampered with your drink. Again. But hearing your father drone on and on nonstop made you wanna end this. So with a dry and empty smile, you lifted the cup to your lips and downed the drink. In seconds, your throat burned and your guts were lit on fire, twisting in pain as you fell to the floor. Despite the pain, you smile wryly at your parents, seeing their expressions of fear as everything turned black.

You should’ve seen a light or something when you died, but instead, you felt your eyelids flutter open to a new environment around you. Granted, your body was still numb from the poison but you were able to open your eyes a bit. And the first thing to greet you was a roof made of sandstone, with intricate and elegant carvings that reminded you of one of those blocks from . . what’s that game called? Minecraft? You never played the game, but you watched some videos out of curiosity.

A few things caught your eye as you examined your surroundings groggily, the room wasn’t bare of decoration with a few posters, a lamp, a gramophone with a few discs near it, and a basketball. At your bedside was a statue of a tall man with a bearded goatee, a turban with a proud standing feather, and long robes. The man looked thin yet intimidating, as expected of the Sorcerer of the Scalding Sands.

Wait. . .why does that title sound-

“Jamil! You’re awake!”

As if by instinct, you turned to the young voice that sounded like a young boy. Your eyes met shining ruby irises that shone with tears, with dark tan skin that wasn’t as dark as the African race yet wasn’t tan like those overrated golden tan Greeks but rather dark in a sense of those Arabian people. The boy that looked around eight years old had short and choppy white hair - as in snow white type of white. His clothes seemed fit for a noble with luxurious clothing made of silk and golden trimmings, the bangles and pieces of jewelry he wore did nothing but show how much wealth he had. Though, the boy looked quite familiar. . .

‘Kalim’

Another thought that wasn’t your own voice as the body you were in let out an acknowledged hum. “Kalim, what are you doing here?” you had asked - no, the body you were in asked. The voice that came out of your mouth was young and definitely male, with a tinge of smooth silkiness in it. What did that boy call you?

‘Jamil,’ you realized. ‘As in Jamil Viper.’

‘How do you know me despite me not even knowing you?‘

Your fingers - no, Jamils’ fingers stiffened but Kalim doesn’t seem to notice. Jamil is still looking at the tearful Kalim, you’ll have to reassure him first before having this . . .explanation/discussion. You felt your consciousness take control of the body before you tried to comfort the young Kalim with a strained yet reassuring smile as you spoke, “You should go back, your father will not like it if you neglect your studies.”

Kalim, to your poor heart, only hiccupped a sob. “But, you got poisoned because of me!” A sniffle “I’m sorry.”

“I’ll be fine, just go or else your father will come here himself.”

Reluctant but obedient to his best friend, Kalim nodded before leaving the room. The moment he left, Jamil’s body immediately closed his eyes and you were in darkness once more. ‘Who are you?’ asked the depths of his mind as you stood alone. Then, out of the darkness, Jamil came towards you. He was young, around Kalim’s age, with short dark hair that was cut above his shoulders with a lone strand braided at his side and his signature bang that curved down to his chin. His skin was about the same shade as Kalim’s, a dark tan. His eyes were round almond-shaped eyes with bluish-dark grey eyes with thin yet finely shaped eyebrows. His face was scrunched into an expression of distrust and curiosity, a lone brow arched over his eye.

While you wanted to squeal at how cute he was, you knew this was no matter going gaga. This child is experiencing someone inhabiting - intruding - in his body and can’t understand how and why. You could feel the fear and confusion in his soul and mind, as expected of a child yet he tries to look strong. This was the last thing you expected, not only are you reincarnated in Jamil Viper but you’re also merged into one body with his soul. This scene feels familiar as if you saw a manhua with this exact set-up, but you can worry about that later, you have a child to explain to.

‘You know your thoughts and feelings are really easy to read.’ The young Jamil spoke, laced with a deadpan tone.

‘Your fear is also exactly hard to feel.’

Jamil huffed his cheeks at being caught, ‘Fair, but at least tell me who you are and why you are in my head.’

‘I will just relax first’

‘I am relaxed’

‘Kid, I could literally feel the uneasiness coming from your side.’

‘. . .’

After getting him to relax, you two now sat crossed legs in front of each other. You then explained your life before, your world, how you died, and how you have no idea how you got here. Jamil had scrunched his eyebrows at how your parents treated you, ‘Your parents suck, I can’t imagine my parents treating me like that.’

‘Wonder how that feels like,’

The boy giggled before shaking his head, ‘ That still doesn’t explain how you know me.’

Here’s the part where it could lead Jamil to an existential crisis and question his worth. ‘Yeah. . .about that. In my world, we have this mobile game - you know what mobile games are, right? Good. - Well, there’s this mobile game that’s called Twisted Wonderland - ‘

‘Why do I have a feeling that that game is connected to my world?’

‘Yeah, If I told you, your older self is one of the characters in that game in my world, how would you feel?’

The next moments of silence were torture as Jamil stared at you like a statue, his eyes dimming to a dull shade, but the emotions that were raging on his side of the mind were wild. They were muddled and mashed into something indecipherable, like a bunch of food colouring were put into the same water glass and swirled around to make this confusing and cloudy colour. The feelings were constricting in your throat, making you anxious and uneasy. You needed to calm him, and reassure him that his life isn’t a game.

‘I know it’s confusing, Jamil.’ You started, reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. ‘But being here shows that your world isn’t a game, maybe it’s more complex than that.’

‘Complex?’

‘Meaning it’s not as simple. Maybe the games and shows in my world are like windows to other worlds and what we’re watching is just only a glimpse.’

The light in his eyes returned as he seemed interested in the theory, ‘That would be cool! Am I a cool character in your world?’

‘Kid, a lot of the players like you.’

Jamil let out a genuine smile before it fell as he widened his eyes, ‘I forgot to ask you for your name, how rude of me.’

Smiling at what innocence is left in him, you gave him your name. ‘So are we going to live in one body from now on?’

‘Seems that way,’

‘That’ll be hard.’  Jamil let out an adorable pout as he stared at the ground of his - and your - consciousness. You chuckled, ‘It will be hard, but I’m sure we’ll be able to do it.’

‘. . .All right, glad to be working with you.’

‘The feeling is mutual.’

During the next few days of your body recovery, you have gotten to know Jamil more and the world you’re in. It was still the Twisted Wonderland that you saw in the game, but with one difference.

‘You have alphas, betas, and omegas here!?’

‘Yeah, mama is a beta and papa is an alpha. I’m pretty sure Master Asim is alpha when I saw him last, and he has a harem of omegas. Which is kinda rare.’

‘Rare how?’

‘Omegas are rare from what mama and my teacher told me. A majority of the world is made up of alphas and betas.’

‘Really now, then what are you hoping to be, Jamil?’

‘Not sure, alphas are cool since they’re strong and they can command the area, but they have this thing called ‘rut’ and papa has it every once a month. . .it looks painful.’

‘What about omegas?’

‘They’re really pretty, papa and mama said that they have a sweet smell. But it’s kinda unlikely that I’ll present as one, and if I ever am one, being guarded twenty-four-seven sounds kinda annoying. Plus, they also have this thing called heat, not sure what that is but when they have it, they’re usually locked up in a room and won’t come out for a few days.’

‘I think you’ll learn about ruts and heats when you’re around ten or twelve, but I can teach you about those things.’

‘Really? Thanks! That’ll be helpful!’

‘No problem, so you want to be a beta?’

‘I don’t really see a problem with them, they’re okay. Mama is one and she doesn’t have any of those ruts or heats, so I’ll probably be one. Or I might be an alpha like papa.’

Yeah, you’re not in the original Twisted Wonderland. You’re in some alternate universe where A/B/O dynamics exist and secondary genders are the norm. But this isn’t a traditional omega verse, usually, omegas are seen as the lower class while alphas are the top-tier class. But in this omega verse, omegas are rare and seem to be treated more respectfully than alphas or betas. How peculiar.

When you and Jamil’s body were able to move without the effects of the poison, you were greeted with Jamil’s younger sister bursting through the doors and flinging herself on your body. Jamil’s body let out an oomph! before his - or yours since Jamil’s body is also your body as well - eyes looked down at a beaming Najma. “You’re finally better! I was starting to wonder if you’ll be stuck in bed forever!”

You let out a chuckle which the body mirrored as Jamil took control for the rest, patting his sister’s head before telling her to get off of him. Once Jamil managed to get his - perhaps also your sister as well - to leave, you managed to get out of bed and walk towards the vanity’s mirror. Upon taking a look at your reflection, you notice a difference in appearance.

It was a young Jamil’s body, of course with his short dark hair that was above his shoulders with brown highlights, his sharp eyes, and the baby fat present on his cheeks. What he wore right now was a long-sleeved shirt made of the lightest and softest material you ever felt with pants of the same material. The body wore sandals. But what caught your attention was the coloured circle that seems to surround the border of the body’s iris, a colour similar to your eye colour circling the dark grey irises like a gradient of some sort. 

A jolt of realization followed by puzzlement let you know that it was Jamil. ‘That wasn’t there before. . . It kinda looks like your eye colour.’ He noted. Your blinking was reflected when the body blinked as well before Jamil leaned forward to examine his eyes. ‘Not gonna lie, looks kinda cool.’

You hummed as you took control for a second to walk out of the room, ‘I think it’s the result of us merging together. Since I’m in your body now, a part of my original appearance has to make it somewhere.’

‘Well, I suppose that would make sense, like putting together two bodies to make one body. Some characteristics of body number one will show while the rest of the characteristics of body number two will remain. Though, I don’t get why it’s only your eye colour.’

‘Perhaps it’s to not scare the people here, they would probably freak out when you go under a massive change of looks after a few days.’

‘I guess.’

From there, you watch and learn the routine that Jamil went through in his childhood, letting the young boy take charge of the body. The boy cooked the food with the rest of the servants - which you noticed were betas with few alphas - to your now employers, after that, the body went to make Kalim’s room clean. You had to hold yourself steady before you made a fool of yourself upon seeing the large and lavish room filled with shiny silk fabrics littered, a pristine white bed covered with a red blanket with golden trimmings. Jamil had given you an amused glance as he started his duty.

Throughout the day, you had gotten a sense of satisfaction as you felt the body’s fatigue but the satisfaction of a chore done before moving on to the next one. This is coming from a child that came from a wealthy family with servants. During his breaks, Jamil had shown you a clearing with his device which wasn’t a phone but something close to it with earphones. He smiled at you before looking around, ‘I think no one’s here, good.’ 

‘Are you hiding from Kalim?’ you asked the obvious, but just wanted humour.

‘Yeah, part of my duty is to keep Kalim company.’ Jamil had a pinched expression upon Kalim’s name, ‘But he’s so . . . annoying!’

You hummed in response, deciding to drop the topic for another time. ‘So what are we going to do here?’ 

Jamil’s expression brightened at the change of topic, ‘ I like to dance when I don’t have anything to do!’

A smile made your way at the word ‘dance’. ‘I love to dance!’

‘You too!? What kind of dance style? Street dance? Or is it the one that Kalim dances?’

‘I like to dance different styles. . .’

From there, you and Jamil exchange the types of dances that you know. Jamil had shown you the street dancing he talked about, the movement slightly clumsy but fluid and full of energy. When you took control of the body, you demonstrated the types of dances you learned from videos. The contemporary dances that you watched and showed you how they became successful. This dance is an interpretive dance that merges ballet, jazz, modern, and lyrical dances. From the videos you saw, the dancers were moving with the music, letting their bodies get swayed with the rhythm and tone.

By incorporating a bit of ballet and modern dance in it, you moved through the music as if you were trying to decipher what it was telling you.

When the high of the music and the body’s adrenaline and Jamil’s joy and excitement almost hit, a young voice shattered the world you were in. Jamil groaned within the confines of his mind as you made the body turn to see a beaming Kalim. “ Jamil, can I join you? You looked like you were having fun!”

You could feel the annoyance from Jamil’s side, so you decided to take control of the body till the boy cooled down. “ You could, but are you done with everything? Last I check, you had dance practice around this time.”

“The instructor caught a cold so I went to find you!”

The annoyance in Jamil grew and you had to refrain the body from twitching an eye in irritation. Jamil can’t really go against orders seeing his family’s position but compromising his comfort for Kalim’s is a bit of a problem. It’s one of the reasons why he went against Kalim in NRC. You need a compromise for this, Kalim is a nice boy and he sees Jamil as a friend so he wouldn’t mind adjusting for his friend’s comfort, right? You suppose the reason why Jamil didn’t really talk to Kalim about this is because of his subservient mindset and fear for his family. Still. . .

“Kalim,” you said, “Do you mind if you play with your siblings for now?”

“Huh?” Kalim’s smile dropped, “Why? Do you not want me here?”

You heard the slight panic in Jamil’s emotions before you spoke again, “It’s not that I don’t like you, but sometimes I want to be alone for a while so I go to places like here. To be by myself.”

Kalim had a look of understanding before smiling, “Oh, so you just wanted to be alone? Okay! Sorry, I disturbed your alone time.”

“It’s okay, perhaps next time I could play with you?”

“Yeah! We could play mancala!”

When Kalim left, it was you and Jamil alone. The young boy sighed, ‘That was reckless! Asking a master something like that is. . .reckless!”

‘But did he react badly?’

‘. . .No, I guess not.’

‘I know you’re not accustomed to asking Kalim things like this for your own benefit, but when you need it, I’ll take over and ask for you.’

‘That’ll be unnecessary of you,’

"We're gonna be in the same body for the rest of your life so might as well make myself useful.’

Yes, to avoid Jamil overblotting, you need to lessen his resentment and anger of Kalim and his position. But you know that with his family’s position as servants, that’ll be a bit difficult. But servants are also humans and have selfish desires as well, not all people are selfish and ready to serve after all. Perhaps while not trying to find a way to be free, since you’re still a child and you have a new family to think of, you can find ways for Jamil to indulge himself.

Jamil has shown to be smart and capable of many things and while the common mindset is that the master is better than the servant, there are a few exemptions on where the servant is better but the master can learn from this. Or, at least that’s what you’re thinking. Perhaps you can show-off Jamil’s skills while also having the Asim family benefit from it, kinda like showing the esteem and prestige of the family by showing the kind of servants they have in their household?

Although, that might be risky.

. . . Maybe you could teach Kalim to be more independent and capable, guide him to be at least a bit cunning and able to do things on his own. By doing that, you’ll be able to lessen Jamil’s load of work in the future.

“You want to help Kalim to be more independent?” Jamil repeated what you said, although sounding a bit ludicrous. It was night and the body was asleep, letting you and Jamil discuss what will happen in the future.

“Yeah, so that we won’t have to babysit him and we’ll have a lighter load.” 

“But it’s a servant’s job to cater to the master’s needs and we have duties—“

“We can’t keep doing stuff for Kalim forever, he has to do things on his own. And since he’s the heir, he should learn how to be responsible. We can’t be there for him forever, there will always be a possibility of us dying and him being by himself. It’s like having a little brother or sister — minus the servant position — you teach them, show them how to be responsible and to take care of themselves, and let them learn from their own mistakes.”

“. . .I guess that’s not a bad idea.”

“Jamil, you’re human and right now a child, you should be able to enjoy some things you like without giving it up for Kalim.”

“. . .Okay, I’m glad you’re here with me now. At Least I have someone with me.”

You smiled in fondness as you ruffled his head, much to his childish indignation. “Happy that I can be of service.”

You were eight years old when you unexpectedly met Leona Kingscholar. Although you didn't know if this was a hidden fact from the game or the universe is going in a different direction, you were quite surprised to have met the young boy at a Spelldrive tournament between NRC and RSA. The Asim family got VIP seats due to their prestige and power and fame, so you had to come along since Jamil was Kalim’s retainer and bodyguard.

Although he hasn’t killed anybody yet.

---

I decided to make a fic of this and yes it has a/b/o dynamics.

next >>

#twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland x jamil viper #jamil viper #a/b/o universe #reader reincarnated into jamil viper and now shares a body with him #gender neutral reader

[freuds-lackluster-gaming-blog]

Conversion of Neecxles not so berry extended for sims 3!

I made these rules months ago and never posted them so i thought I'd post them finally. Just like with my career legacy rules all the original credit goes to Neecxles for their Not So Berry Extended rules!

Generation 11: White 

From a young age you grew a fascination with acting, the idea of being able to step away from reality and take on a role of someone else excited you. So with the supportive parents you had, they enrolled you in drama club for the entirety of your school life. You begin to strive for something more, becoming a global superstar actor! With focusing so much on your career, keeping serious romantic relationships is difficult because you always prioritize work over love. You eat, breathe, sleep acting and you were happy keeping it that way. But with a one night stand gone wrong… you find out you are now left with an unplanned child. 

Traits:Diva, Irresistible, Star Quality,Virtuoso,Ambitious 

Lifetime Wish:Superstar Actor

Career:Film

Goals 

Join the Ballet after school activity as a child and the drama one as a teen

Reach at least level 5 in singing and one instrument of your choice ( if you use the hidden skills mod you can add dancing/club dancing to the list)

Reach max celebrity level 

Have at least one celebrity best  friend

Max Film Career in the Actor Branch and finish the Superstar Actor LTW

Never get Married

Have a one night stand and accidentally get pregnant/impregnate a sim * this child will be your only one ( if it happens to be multiples run with it )

Generation 12: Brown

Growing up in the shadows of your parents spotlight was a little hard on you. Although you knew how much they loved you and tried their best to spend every free moment with you, you still felt…alone. Thankfully being a part of the scouts club gave you a sense of family, which you deeply cherished. Scouts club also made you truly fall in love with the outdoors. Being out in nature didn’t make you feel like you were so alone anymore, which is why camping became something you loved to do. There were tales that in the Deep Woods of Granite Falls a hermit resides away from everyone, so naturally the curious bean you were you had to find out for yourself. Forever alone felt like a motto you started to live by and thought you’d never get married like your parent, but someone finally came along and you were really happy with the way life was heading. Unfortunately down the road things didn’t end up working out. You’ve always secretly had this crazy idea of making a robot best friend since you were a kid. The thought of having a robot who was there for you every waking moment felt like something you needed in your life, so it was time to make a crazy idea… a reality!

Traits:Loves the outdoors,Loner,Insane,Bot Fanatic,Green Thumb

Lifetime Wish: The Zoologist 

Career:Self Employed Gardener

Join the Scouts after school activity as a child and Shop Class as a teen

Reach top level of Self Employed Gardener career 

Master Bot Building skill and Build a robot best friend!

Master gardening skill

Finish the zoologist LTW 

Collect all the insects ( cats are very helpful for this you may want to adopt one so you can send it hunting)

 Have 1 failed marriage and 1 child from it

Go on regular camping trips ( you can just do these in your home world or you can go on a vacation every once and awhile your call)

Generation 13: Black

Ahh books… you love em! You always enjoyed a good read that could take you on a journey in a whole new fantasy world. So naturally starting a book club at school to share your love for reading was the thing to do. Thanks to the club it brought you your best friend, who you later fall in love with and get engaged to. Instead of going off to university like everyone else you got convinced to join the military, but that didn’t last long so you quit and went off to study psychology. Whilst away at uni you discovered the Encyclopedia Vampirica, and got extremely curious about vampires to the point you took a trip over to Forgotten Hollow to find out if they were real. You end up meeting a vampire who you become completely mesmerized with and fall in love so quick as if you were put under a spell. This is where you decide to ask “could I be turned into one?” Without hesitation their teeth sink into your neck and the process of you turning has begun. You decide to drop out of university and call off the engagement because you have fallen for another and want to live out your new vampire life. Becoming a Simlish online teacher was your only option after dropping out of uni, and with working from home you had more time to yourself so you started writing your own books. Unfortunately your job started to feel mundane, so you have the bright idea of running your own business! Not being able to have children has always upset you, but with your new powers creating your own vampire family is only one step away…

Traits: Bookworm,Excitable,Absent Minded,Artistic,Supernatural Fan

Lifetime Wish:Turn the Town

Career: Military, Education, Write Books for Money( Optional Business Owner if you have the Savvy Seller store set)

Goals

Join the book club ( option on sim when you click on them for Bookworm sims) as a child or teen

Get engaged to your best friend shortly after aging up into a young adult

Join the Military career, Reach level 5 then quit

Go to college for science and medicine but drop out after one semester

Fall in love with a vampire and have them turn you

Break off your engagement after you return from college

Join education career reach lvl 4 and quit

Go bowling with friends routinely and learn the piano skill

Write at least 5 books

Complete the Turn the Town LTW

Don't have kids or adopt, find 5 friends and turn them into your vampire family!

*Optional if you have the Savvy Sellers store set Run a business! Book store? Creepy occult store? Go wild!

Optional if you want to end the legacy: Die by burning in the sun, you really should've put some sunscreen on huh?

#sims 3 #sims 3 challenge #ts3 #sims 3 challenges #ts3 challenge #ts3 not so berry extended #sims 3 not so berry extended #sims 3 not so berry extended rules #ts3 not so berry extended rules

[theworldoffostering]

Raising kids is not for the weak.

The good:

DS took his road test and passed it! It felt so nice to do a normal kid/parent thing and see him be successful.

The anniversary of his adoption day was this month. It’s been 15 years.

Ms. 6 was accepted into a university.

Ms. 6 is going to graduate high school next month!

We are progressing in attachment therapy with Baby.

School is almost done for the year.

The mediocre:

DD broke up with her fiancé and is already seeing someone else. I did not care for her fiancé, but already seeing someone else is a red flag.

I talked with the students with disabilities center on Ms. 6’s campus this week to try to get her some services. In turn, I had to request her IEP. Her IEP from fall was a train wreck so I reconvened the team this week and told them to rewrite it appropriately. Apparently the guidance counselor quit in the fall and no one has taken his place. For real, without a parent, most kids are completely lost.

I signed Ms. 6 up for college registration and orientation. Students have to bring a parent. I offered but she wants her mom to go which is fine. However, we don’t know if her mom will go. She was too hungover to take Ms. 6 to the hospital when she had knee surgery scheduled a couple of months back. Last week she didn’t get out of bed to take Ms. 6 to a somewhat major dental appointment. I told her I would go, but her mom insisted that she was going so I could not attend. I stood down and then she didn’t show up. Same thing happened with the knee surgery.

The challenging:

So much drama with Ms. 6’s family of origin. Ms. 6 lives over three hours away from us but is enrolled in a high school near us and her graduation will be where we live. I offered to throw her a graduation party and invite her mom. Ms. 6 was thrilled. Her mom told her to cut DH and I off and that she could no longer talk to us or receive mail from us. Now her mom is threatening to take away Ms. 6 attending her own graduation altogether.

Ms. 6 insisted she completed her FASFA. She did, but it was for the 23-24 year, not the 24-25 year. I straightened it out two weeks ago and filled it out for her (she’s an independent so parent income doesn’t count). Financial aid packagers don’t go out until next month so I’m hoping she will still get enough to be able to go to school.

Ms. 6 told me this week that she never obtained a new birth certificate or social security card despite me directing her in how to do both things multiple times in the fall after she left here unexpectedly. I finally just ordered (and paid) for a new birth certificate for her this week.

I feel incredibly burned out. Like maybe I need meds? My endocrin called and told me I need to start doing B12 injections because after taking oral supplements for three months, my b12 levels actually went down. I don’t know if it’s that, or wading through all of the drama, or both. Some days, I don’t feel like I can even put one foot in front of the other. It’s too much. How do you ever get a break from everything?

Tomorrow we are meeting with DD to try to work out getting her a $4k car from a friend of mine. It’s a 2006 Odyssey with almost 200k miles on it. The insurance (collision only) would be $2k for the year. She’s bouncing from one hourly job to another and not saving anything. She desperately needs a vehicle to get to and from work. Currently she’s relying on her fiancé and her vehicle, but now that they’re no longer together, it seems more important that she have her own. She has zero money saved, but I have a college fund set aside for her with about $10k in it. Clearly she’s not going to college right now so I think we are going to pivot with that money and pay for the car and the insurance for a year.

I was planning to drive 6.5 hours this weekend to meet up with Ms. 6 and her BF who she met online. Ms. 6 has really been pushing for this. I asked for his address so I could locate a nearby hotel. She said he didn’t want me to have it. Then I asked for his name. He apparently did not want to disclose that to me either. I did tell her that was super sketch, and now I do think he’s like a really scary person who no one has vetted. Ms. 6 has already stayed with him several times so maybe not a serial killer, but anything else is possible in my brain. He’s definitely older because he has his own apartment.

It’s so much, you guys.

#parenting teens #parenting is hard #adoption #parenting adult children

[mariana-oconnor]

The Blanched Soldier pt 3

Back to Holmes, who has been carefully concealing practically every thought he had about this case while it was going on to preserve the drama of the situation. There's something about tar. I'm willing to bet that the other character with Godfrey is a doctor of some sort, though I honestly can't remember his name.

“This is very sudden, Colonel Emsworth,” said he. “This will disarrange all our plans.”

So they do have plans beyond 'keep Godfrey hidden for the rest of eternity'. Good to know.

...at the sight of him my client sprang forward with outstretched hand. [...] But the other waved him back.

So it's contagious? That doesn't explain why it's a secret. Is it an STD?

I am growing impatient.

One could see that he had indeed been a handsome man with clear-cut features sunburned by an African sun, but mottled in patches over this darker surface were curious whitish patches which had bleached his skin.

Vitiligo? Is it vitiligo? But why would he be hiding away because of vitiligo?

“Old Ralph told me you were there, and I couldn't help taking a peep at you."

That's sweet, and sad, and a little weird.

“You remember that morning fight at Buffelsspruit, outside Pretoria, on the Eastern railway line? You heard I was hit?”

Oh no, my racism alarm is starting to chime. I should have seen this coming when they were talking about the Boer war, but foolishly I thought that would all be background.

"I have a dim memory of slowly ascending the steps, entering a wide-opened door, passing into a large room which contained several beds, and throwing myself down with a gasp of satisfaction upon one of them."

But the first bed was too hard. So he went to the second bed, but that one was too soft. So then he tried the third bed and that one was just right.

So he didn't knock. He just... walked in and went to sleep. I get you'd been shot and you were on death's door, but that is still trespassing.

"In front of me was standing a small, dwarf-like man with a huge, bulbous head, who was jabbering excitedly in Dutch, waving two horrible hands which looked to me like brown sponges. Behind him stood a group of people who seemed to be intensely amused by the situation, but a chill came over me as I looked at them. Not one of them was a normal human being. Every one was twisted or swollen or disfigured in some strange way."

Oh no... we took a slight right at racism and stepped into racism and ableism. Wonderful.

"The laughter of these strange monstrosities was a dreadful thing to hear."

Fuuuuck you, Godfrey.

I get that waking up surrounded by people who are laughing at you and you can't understand them is unpleasant. But 'monstrosities'? Seriously. And if you don't knock before letting yourself into someone else's house, you can't then be rude about them. That's not how it works.

OK... so this vein continues for some time. I'm not going to put any more of it here... It's pretty much the same level of dumbfuckery.

"'You are in the Leper Hospital, and you have slept in a leper's bed.’"

Ugh, I thought 'leprosy' then I didn't say it because it seemed too far.

Of course it's leprosy. or Hansen's Disease as it's mostly known now in order to try to distance it from the stigma attached to 'leprosy'. Honestly, this is definitely typical for the attitude to the disease at the time. It might even be lighter than usual, because the family are keeping him on the grounds and haven't shipped him off somewhere never to be heard from again.

The fact that Holmes has brought an expert in makes me think that this has all been a false alarm, though. Why bring an outside opinion if they're just going to confirm 'yup, leprosy'

"It is not illegal, however, to keep a lunatic upon private premises so long as there is a qualified person in attendance and that the authorities have been duly notified. Why, then, all this desperate desire for secrecy?"

Because apparently everyone is horribly afraid of losing their family reputation?

“It is often my lot to bring ill-tidings and seldom good,” said he. “This occasion is the more welcome. It is not leprosy.”

~*Chekhov's Expert*~

Interestingly, the UK Gov website says that Hansen's Disease has an incubation period of 5 months to 20 years... or longer. So just because Godfrey doesn't have it now, doesn't mean he'll never have it. And no one knows how it spreads. Though it seems like it's a lot more difficult to get than people think.

It might be spread by armadillos. It's a mystery!

There is, however, a cure, these days. Though I don't think there was back when this story was written, considering the cure is antibiotics.

"But the lady has fainted! I think that Mr. Kent had better be with her until she recovers from this joyous shock.”

Let's hope she doesn't contract brain fever because of it. That would be kind of ironic.

#Letters from Watson #The Blanched Soldier #Sherlock Holmes #long post #ableism

[lunatiics]

pretty girls (pt. 1) | planymphia

Word Count: 1.1k

Summary: Jane's always been a sucker for pretty girls.

A/N: I literally never post any of my fics but I'm obsessed with this ship and the drought of planymphia content inspired me to write this... maybe I'll continue if anyone literally cares??

—

It’s funny how blurry the line between real and pretend can get. 

Jane was no stranger to putting on a show—none of the Season 16 girls were. It was their job to entertain while they were filming, even if that meant bending the truth a little. They were here to make good television, after all, and Jane never did anything half-assed.

When the cameras were rolling, Jane was well aware of her talent for knowing exactly what the producers wanted her to say, exactly how to push her sisters’ buttons and provoke a scene-stealing snippet of drama. Even if she didn’t mean her snarky comments (and most of the time, she didn’t), the role of villain seemed practically written for her. She loved all the eyes on her as she commanded the set with her presence and brutal honesty. The cameras loved her, too.

But as the weeks passed, her bitchy act started to catch up with her. She watched the other girls grow closer and connect while she seemed to remain on the outskirts. She’d feel a sense of panic every time they began to set up their makeup and paint for the runway—would anyone sit next to her? Again, by looking at her, you’d never know. But inside was another story.

She’d never admit it out loud, but she was lonely. Especially after being away from home, long days on set, and nights spent shut up in a hotel. It was hard for Jane to let people in, especially new people, but she had built her walls up so high that sometimes she forgot what it felt like to take them down. Putting on a show was easy; being herself was her real challenge.

She missed Boston and her usual bars. She missed her friends and her family. She missed the comfort of home and the feeling of security and safety that instantly went away when she arrived on set. Being on Drag Race was a dream come true, and she fought through her self-doubt and loneliness as the weeks passed. She didn’t want anything to distract her from her goal: winning. If she didn’t leave with any friends, she told herself, so be it.

But even though she presented as a fierce Terminator drag queen, she was still human and had a heart. And her heart felt very, very lonely sometimes.

She had heard other Drag Race girls talk about how close they had gotten while filming and how the close quarters and weeks spent together sometimes sparked real feelings. The audience ate up the potential romance storyline, and the producers often pushed the girls to lean into flirtatious banter while they were working on a challenge or painting. 

Jane knew she was hot. So it came as no surprise to her when a few of the girls hinted at their attraction to her. Even more than just a hint, in Xunami’s case. Jane loved how their attention made her feel, especially from the other pretty girls, even if their interest was surface-level. It gave her a newfound power over the other girls who, she often reminded herself, she was in competition with. While they were busy batting their eyes and trying to get her to notice them, she would be focused on winning challenges. And it didn’t hurt her to play along now and then; it was fun to be wanted. 

Really, it was all for the cameras. They had a show to put on, and these kinds of storylines were good television. None of it was really real for her.

Well, except for Nymphia.

—

Nymphia had caught Jane’s eye the moment she entered the werkroom. Fuck, Jane thought. Actual competition. 

Before Nymphia’s entrance, Jane felt completely at ease. She was painfully nervous before seeing the other girls, forcing herself to take deep breaths before she made her own entrance. But once she saw them, her confidence soared. They were her competition? Please. This was going to be the easiest few weeks of her life.

But then—Nymphia. She carried herself with a lightness and ease that was inaccessible to Jane. Jane always felt like she had to convince everyone in a room of her worth. But with Nymphia, Jane was sold in seconds.

After her entrance, the girl in yellow floated around, introducing herself to everyone. Her eyes sparkled as they met Jane’s, and she introduced herself. Jane felt her heart skip as the girl wrapped her arms around her in a friendly embrace, even though they had just met. Jane struggled with being warm, even to people she knew and loved. For Nymphia, it seemed effortless. 

Nymphia was beautiful, and her drag was immaculate. Jane was drawn to perfection. She was obsessed with it. It had been her goal her whole life, the unattainable pinnacle she always wanted to achieve. Jane tried her best not to stare at Nymphia throughout their first day on set, but she couldn’t help it. The girl was magnetic, and Jane couldn’t look away. 

Nymphia easily flitted around the werkroom, chatting up the other girls and making them laugh with her light-hearted charm. And still, with all her sweet bubbliness, she still managed to paint the most beautiful makeup Jane had ever seen, don a breathtaking garment, and glide across the stage with the grace of a trained dancer. Jane was in awe, and she couldn’t deny it.

Jane’s immediate and visceral reaction to Nymphia scared her. She wasn’t usually so shaken by the girls around her. Even though she let herself steal one too many glances at Nymphia, Jane resolved to keep her distance from the girl. As of now, Nymphia was Jane’s biggest threat to the crown—that was clear. 

After the talent show, Jane strategically placed Nymphia at the bottom for Rate-a-Queen. Walking back to the lounge, she felt satisfied by her successful act of sabotage. Maybe that’s what she needed to do to keep her reaction to Nymphia in check: ice her out. As she sipped her drink, she smiled to herself. She was sure to win tonight.

And she did. But as they left the main stage that evening, and Nymphia congratulated Jane on winning so earnestly, her eyes wide and adoring, Jane couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt. It had only been one day, and she could already feel the other girls pulling away from her, turned off by her snarkiness. But not Nymphia. For some reason, not Nymphia.

Jane stammered out a “thank you,” unable to say anything else. Nymphia squeezed Jane’s hand and then floated away, her attention drawn to something else, and Jane was alone.

Nymphia wasn’t like the other girls Jane usually encountered, who would throw her bitchiness right back in her face. No, Nymphia was in her own world, seemingly untouched by Jane’s strategy. It was unnerving. 

Jane hated feeling out of control, and Nymphia made her feel like the world had turned upside down.

#planymphia #plane jane #nymphia wind #rpdr #help i love these lesbians

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi! I’ve read a lot of your posts, especially your ones about the inferior functions which was really informative to me. (Thank you!). I am fairly sure that I am an XSTJ type. I was wondering if you could give your insight on which one you think is more likely? I can’t figure out the order of the functions but I think I use Si Te Ne and Fi. Sorry this is kind of long.

For background on my Fi section - I have recently had some problems in a workplace — bullying/unsafe practice/poor management. It escalated and fell apart in a big way (I got screwed over basically lol) and I eventually made the tough decision to leave for my own well-being. I had been involved with the company for 2 years and gave everything I had to that company. It was my dream job and I worked so hard for it. And I worked so hard for my degree too. My friends and family and even colleagues told me it wasn’t my fault and they would’ve quit too and they told me I handled it well. I feel like I defined myself on my work. I was so proud of my … success? I guess. I don’t even know.

This first part I have this sort of recurring issue in my life where something goes wrong at work for example and I start feeling this way when normally i’m fairly level headed and ambitious. I think it’s Fi, and maybe inferior? I thought I was an ISTJ but your description of inferior Fi really landed with me lol.

It’s like I’m having some sort of existential crisis. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or maybe I never did. I question everything about myself. I am trying so hard to figure out what matters to me and I can’t. I don’t know where to go in life. I’m so emotional for no reason. I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I’m pushing my friends and family away because I’m embarrassed that I had to leave my job. I’ve isolated myself from everyone. I feel so irritable all the time and I hate it. I feel like I failed.

People close to me have told me I need to stop being so hard on myself but I don’t know how. I feel like I’m wasting my time and my life by being so emotional. It’s so incredibly frustrating. It’s not like me, usually I bounce back and try again but this has really shaken me up. I feel like I should ‘follow my heart’ so I can be happy and fulfilled but I don’t even know what I want and I’m wasting time trying to decide, the more time passes the more restless I feel. I’m so scared of getting old and dying with regrets about the way I’ve lived my life. I think I’m also scared of not being able to make my family proud or make myself proud. I’m so torn and lost. I don’t know how to stop defining myself and my worth on like … working lmao.

More generally, I think I can get stuck in patterns where I worry excessively about my values and who I really am. It happens maybe a couple times a year lmao. But I also think I usually do know my values? There are things I don’t tolerate and have no patience for and like I wouldn’t change my mind on it cos it’s one of my core values. Like, bullying/injustice/unfairness etc. So I don’t know if my Fi is inferior. I have a lot of feelings, I just usually like to avoid them but I’m getting better at dealing with them on a day to day basis, unless something happens like my work drama. I don’t share my feelings with people easily cos I don’t like feeling vulnerable. I know it’s like a necessary part of the human experience though.

When I was in my teens I went to therapy and didn’t cry in therapy for years lol. Every time I almost cried I stopped talking and pushed it down until I could continue. They always told me it’s okay to cry but I always told them I hate crying cos it makes me feel weak. I’ve grown up some since then lol and i know crying or emotion isn’t a weakness. Logically I know that and would never consider someone else weak for crying or expressing emotion. I think it’s a good thing and healthy. Still, I struggle to stop seeing it that way in myself and always beat myself up when I know I shouldn’t. It’s one of my biggest struggles in life. I do cry in front of some people now though hahaha. (And then feel v embarrassed later!) lol.

For Ne, I have a tendency to catastrophize and assume the worst. Like, if one of my family members goes out for a drive and doesn’t text me when I know they should have arrived at the destination by now. I start to think something bad must have happened to them and I start panicking.

It used to be way worse when I was younger and I did it with everything. Car trips, plane rides, being picked up late from school, etc. Maybe that’s just anxiety tho? I tend to prepare for the worst because I don’t like getting caught off guard. I’m known for being a worry-er in my family lol. I worry about everyone. I heard that like imagining multiple worst scenarios for a situation can be low/ inferior Ne.

I think I can use Ne sometimes though. I’m bad at mind mapping and stuff like that, it doesn’t come naturally but I’m good at planning holidays and coming up with ideas of places to go or things to do/see. I get excited about stuff like that, and I like thinking about the future and possibilities of things I could do. I just tend to be more focused on like my life in the here-and-now. And I have to try pretty hard to think in that big expansive mind-map way lol. I sucked at doing mind maps in school.

I think I’m maybe a Si user, because I don’t think I’d even exist without memories. Everything I do and see and experience is for and guided by my memories. Idk though that’s probably true for everyone, do individual people even exist without their memories? it’s like, what makes us unique. There’d be hardly any difference between people if it weren’t for their memories and experiences. Everything i’ve ever done, ever seen, smelled, touched, tasted or heard has made me who I am. I can’t go anywhere without being reminded of the experiences and connections i’ve had before. It’s just intrinsic to who I am. Part of the reason I love music is just the way it can bring you back to an exact moment in time and you can relive it like you’re there. It’s the way I navigate the world I think. I know what to do because i’ve seen it before and if I haven’t then i research to figure out how. I can’t just do things with no preparation.

Te — I think it’s maybe Aux or not dominant because i find it hard to think about how I use it lol, I just do. but idk I’ll try. I rely heavily on data and facts and statistics. I won’t believe anything without proof. I won’t make a claim if I can’t back it up with reliable evidence. I care about efficiency, I like things to be done and done right lol. I often end up doing things myself in group projects and organising the work + delegating tasks to everyone else. When I was studying I organised like all the group work cos otherwise nothing got done lol. And I usually ended up editing and cutting it together at the end so I could make sure it was coherent and looked good.

I like to help my family organise their life admin stuff because I’m good at it. I plan holidays cos I’m good at it, I know how to make a plan that makes sense and works. I research where things are in relation to each other so I can make an itinerary that gets the most done each day with the least amount of time wasted on travelling from A to B etc. I was good at making step by step plans for essay writing at uni and then followed them to get it done. I love writing to do lists for myself and using schedules. I can’t work without a to do list or a schedule lol i write one like every day. Even when I had jobs where I did the same thing every day I wrote a list to keep me on track.

When my friends have their lives falling apart they usually come to me to help them with a game plan lol. Sometimes I do get overwhelmed and stressed, but I feel like in serious crisis situations I’m usually able to put aside any feelings and just get shit done. I’ve had family medical emergencies on my hands before or a loved one getting evicted before and have managed to just go into action mode and deal with the problem first and then feel however i feel about what happened a few days later lmao. Feelings get in the way in situations like that imo and there’s no time for it when shit is hitting the fan. I can be bossy sometimes in moments like that but usually apologise later and people understand that I was just dealing w the problem at hand lol and my bossiness wasn’t personal.

I just thought of an example of what I think is me using Te. There was one time where I was with my mum and brother. Somehow a chemical got spilled on the tiles, was left there overnight and kinda destroyed them. My mum was like absolutely devastated and got so emotional and angry, she was blaming herself and also thinking we would have to spend a lot of money to get it fixed and then regretting buying the house in the first place because it has these tiles haha like she was so upset, my brother was mostly just standing there looking concerned and trying to calm her down. I had no idea how to clean chemicals off that type of of tile nor what to do to fix it when it was destroyed by chemicals.

The most obvious and simple solution to me was to just google what to do and find out. (and part of me was surprised that they hadn’t done it yet lmao). So I did that, found out what kind of tiles they were and how to clean off the chemical without making it worse etc. (checked a few different sources to make sure it was reliable info) And then I told them what I’d read and suggested we try it. And then i told everyone what we needed to get and what we needed to do and the 3 of us got to work lmao. And the tiles looked sooo much better after. Everyone stopped freaking out and it was fine, we ended up having fun cleaning the tiles together lol. And then my mum and brother were like ‘good job!’ and were thanking me. I remember thinking it was kinda silly to thank me for that cos I barely did anything to be thanked for, like I literally couldn’t imagine going about that situation in any other way. it was the only thing to do that made sense.

Anyway ok I’m gonna leave it here. If you read this far thank you so much for your time. I’d be grateful for your opinion but I also understand you get a lot of asks like this so I get it if not! Thanks again!

--------------

All type assessment requests must follow the instructions on the contact page carefully. You must answer all the questions from the Function Theory Guide for every function of the two stacks you are comparing. It is especially important to address all the points meticulously when you are comparing two very similar types like ISTJ and ESTJ.

Since you didn't follow the instructions properly, the info you provided isn't enough for me to draw any firm conclusion about your type. The most I can say is that nothing you've brought up makes me doubt ISTJ. What you seem to believe is inferior Fi (grip) isn't very convincing to me so far. You also mention receiving therapy and did not specify the reason, but that would be a very important clue for determining unhealthy aspects of your function use.

About the existential crisis: There's nothing wrong with taking pride in your work. As an individual, you have the freedom to decide how much to value work among all the other things in your life. While it's important to know and honor your values, in the real world, you don't have the time, energy, or resources to value everything equally. There are no perfect decisions, no such thing as "having it all". When you choose one path, other paths become unavailable to you. Practical limitations and constraints force you into valuing some things more than others, and you have to make some difficult trade-offs in order to keep life moving forward.

Every trade-off you make will have its up and down sides. The downside to devoting so much of yourself to career is that you will be prone to feeling some form of devastation when things go wrong in that area of your life. Similarly, the stay-at-home parent who identifies too strongly with being a parent will suffer some form of devastation when the kids grow up and move out. The price of living a life fully engaged with what you're doing is feeling a sense of loss or grief when it inevitably ends.

Every trade-off you make in life has consequences. You might not feel them right away, but they will come eventually. How do you deal with them? There are a variety of possibilities:

"Diversification": Make your trade-offs wisely so that you mitigate the impact of the consequences. For example, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Have other equally valid ways of defining your identity. However, this means spreading yourself more thinly.

"Commitment": Follow through with your decisions to the very end. Take full responsibility for the trade-offs you make, which means fully embracing the consequences incurred. In other words, accept the reality of your situation and keep moving along.

"Change": Perhaps the devastation was a sign that you need to do things differently or make different choices. Enact the change that is required to avoid suffering the same sort of devastation again.

"Reframe": Look at your devastation from various angles. Is there a different way to find meaning in it? For example, perhaps you're blowing the situation out of proportion? The problem wasn't that you failed? The problem was you were working for a company with terrible leadership that did not allow you to flourish? Therefore, the lesson isn't to quit the work and give up your identity, but to quit the company and find a better company that truly appreciates your talent and devotion. Or start your own company with full control over how it operates.

You mention recurring issues with managing feelings and emotions. It seems to stem from a tendency to interpret situations much more negatively than is warranted, which leads you to get trapped in the most negative perspective available. The stubborn refusal to see your experiences differently even when others point out how wrong you are might be indicative of Si+Fi loop. The lack of open-mindedness, in terms of not being able to acknowledge or generate alternative viewpoints, might be indicative of inferior Ne. ESTJs are usually more mentally flexible than that and also much more willing to rationalize away their failures, which doesn't fit with your tendency to feel excessively responsible, embarrassed, and ashamed for everything.

Thus, there is compelling evidence that Te+Ne development is required for getting out of the (Si+Fi) mental trap, which suggests that your extraverted funcitons are the weaker pair. It sounds like the most logical way out of the existential crisis is to take control of your life and start a new chapter, to find a place where you can feel both fulfilled and appreciated. Are you resisting proper use of Te? If so, perhaps you need to reflect on why.

#typing #istj #auxiliary te #fi loop #inferior ne #ne grip #career #ask

[silverloreley]

Watching till the end of the moon is just making me appreciate LBFAD so much more, the conflict between those two made so much sense and xiao lan hua struggled with it but stood by DFQC and understood him and loved him. The way YXW is acting is driving me insane, it doesn't make sense in the context of the show, idc about the novel,things should make sense in the context of the drama on it's own,this is supposedly an epic love story but one half is constantly betraying the other

LBFAD is amazing and I don't think I would have started TTEOTM if the first had not stolen my whole heart. But they're completely different on so many levels: one is a fairytale, the other is a high fantasy bloody drama, one is a cheerful love story that has some heavy moments and deep themes at the heart, the other is a tragic romance that starts with blood and will probably end the same way, they are not the same at all, I can't compare the two.

Don't get me wrong, I love both in their own way, but they start from different standpoints and their FLs are deeply different too. We don't quite know much about LSS before she became YXW, while we have the whole life and backstory of XLH unraveled for us, their differences are in character also.

I still think TTEOTM is a love story, but a twisted one, the kind where love isn't enough alone, where there is no right thing to do, where one must lose more than the self to win because there is too much at stake. LSS is ready to give up her everything for the greater good, her identity, her love, her life... noble, sure, but the right thing would be for her to fight for her love and the world all the same, to communicate more (and wasn't that the same mistake MY and SJ made?), to try and find a middle ground and she doesn't. Which is probably due to her upbringing, we can't forget she was the daughter of a sect leader, the values they must have instilled in her since childhood are radicated deep down. We did see XLH grow from her prejudices and I really wish LSS will do the same, but I can't see it happening anytime soon and I worry there won't be the chance for her to, if the spoilers I found around are true.

But you're right about some things making no sense without the novel being involved, as someone who didn't read it either I was very confused when LSS went to XL, why would she do that? I can understand LSS jumping to the worst conclusions about TTJ's actions over and over again because she saw him at his worst and most powerful and she's constantly waiting, terrified, for the other shoe to drop and him going full on the dark side, I get it and don't blame her, yet I can't see why would she root for the Shang royal family when she knows they are scum (in the drama, again, which is the only thing that truly matters, the story must make sense on its own!).

In this respect, Qingyu is way more reasonable, he switched sides to save his men and is watching for proof of having made the right choice (and gets them, time and time again), while LSS is slowly starting to look at what's going on with more objectivity... but too slowly! While the time constraint she has (the 300 days that must be less than 200 by now, more or less) makes her antsy! I don't know if the demons being free en masse will mean the Evil Bone will react to them and activate or what (this is the only explanation I could imagine for it) but she's in a rush and that's never good when in delicate situations (that's what tragedies are made of, that's why I can't see a happy ending here, although I hope I'm wrong and there will be one).

Anyway, I still like the show with all its flaws (I liked way lower-quality stuff over time and I'll never deny it) and will follow it until the end, hoping the mistakes so far will be explained/fixed later on. Otherwise, I'll just do what I did before, fics and fandom support.

;)

#question answered #till the end of the moon #love between fairy and devil #comparison #more or less #well less actually

[findingmypeace]

I’m done with my work now but so often I find myself in this predicament where I intend to say something and then I start judging myself so hard that I don’t really feel like I can talk or say anything. This happens a lot when I’m talking about personal stuff. I just kind of stumble over my word’s until I can get enough of it out for what I’m trying to say to make sense.

That’s pretty much what I’m feeling now. I know what I want to talk about but I can’t get the words started.

Maybe if I try one word at a time. Insurance denied to cover inpatient because I’m a drama queen and completely “medically stable”. It’s all in my head. Okay, the words are starting to come…a little. 3 treatment centers where I live and that take my insurance. One won’t take me back, I’ve been to another twice, and the last I’ve never been to but it has no medical unit.

I filed an appeal with insurance and told them all about how I am feeling but tests results don’t like and insurance is pretty dead set on getting me to go to residential here, where I live, instead of going out of network for inpatient (as far as I know there is no inpatient unit where I live. There is one but the specialize in children under 12 and will only take people up to age 18. Like I said, I’m fine aka ‘medically stable”.

Yes, some of this is the whole “not sick enough” thing but it’s also that I just can’t agree to do residential again. No. Just I can’t. Then it’s also that the out-of-network inpatient place is 30-45 days for average length of stay. I can agree to that as long as I discharge to home. Spending forever long going through all levels of care is absolutely not something I’m willing to do again. I also just want to feel physically better. But, I mean, it’s all in my head so maybe it will go away on its own.

But the worst part is all the comments about my eating disorder and treatment through out my life. No one in my family agrees with treatment. They think I’m being reckless and irresponsible. My Dad’s comment about “rehab” making me worse was actually in regards to not having a high paying job and therefore struggling with my finances. That’s what it always comes down. “Can you keep your job?” “Will you be able to pay your bills while your gone?” Or I remember a comment from my Mom. She said I shouldn’t go to treatment because I “enjoyed” it. She believed that because she went to only one (in my entire life) parent group while I was in treatment once. I had a smile on my face and laughed. I guess that means I “enjoy” treatment and therefore I don’t take it seriously and shouldn’t be there.

And this is on top of the most recent comments from my brother. And doctors telling me I need to lose weight. I guess my disgustingly fat body is the problem. Maybe I’ll go back and get the Wegovy. I’m just a drama queen and basically act like a victim. I’m fine. It’s all in my head.

#personal #ed treatment #attachment trauma #bulimia #eating disorders

[jobrookekarev]

The Beating of Two Hearts: Chapter Three

Chapter: One of Nine

Words: 4,122

Summary: Jo faints in the OR, sending Alex into a panic, but for the moment she and their unborn baby are alright. However her little cold masks something more. When she faints again Addison discovers Jo has an arrhythmia which leads to another, more difficult diagnosis. 

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy.

Relationship: Alex Karev/Jo Wilson.

Characters: Alex Karev, Jo Wilson, Addison Montgomery, Maggie Pierce, Atticus Lincoln, and Meredith Grey

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences.

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Drama, Angst, Pregnancy, Medical, Illness.

Read at AO3

Read at FFN

…………………………………………………………………

They cried until they had no tears left. Then they both tried to take a few deep breaths to study themselves. When they finally managed to calm down a bit, the nurses came back and Alex hopped off the bed so they could move her to a room. Jo never let go of his hand and he held onto her like a lifeline. 

They got her settled and hooked up to a fetal monitor and a heart monitor. Along with some supplemental oxygen through a nasal cannula. She knew that part made him worry, but her oxygen levels weren't too low and Addison assured them it was mostly just a precaution. Yet, she knew Alex didn't believe her.

They tried to distract themselves, Jo turned on the tv and Alex flipped through the food magazine looking through recipes. But both of them kept their hands on her bump and counted every single kick that their baby gave them. Alex rubbed the spot up by Jo’s ribs where they were kicking her and Jo managed a smile as she rubbed her thumb over her bump. As she read, she watched Alex as he watched her. She watched him count her breathing and glance at her swollen ankles. She knew he was watching all the other little things that made him worry about her health. 

Nurse Ginger stayed nearby and checked on them often as they waited for Maggie. They didn't have to wait long for her. Maggie rushed into the room like a family member and not their doctor. She hugged Jo, giving her a tight squeeze before she turned and hugged Alex just as tightly. Then she pulled back and shifted into her roll as she grabbed the tablet. 

“Addison told me everything,” Maggie said as she took a deep breath and looked over Jo's chart.

“So what do you think caused my arrhythmia?” Jo asked as she looked up at her hopefully. 

“I'm not sure yet, but we'll run a few tests and figure it out,” Maggie said, giving her a reassuring smile as Jo and Alex both nodded. 

“Thank you, Maggie,” Alex said as Maggie just nodded.

Maggie took out her stethoscope and listened to Jo's heart, her face stone as she listened. But she nodded and pulled back, putting her stethoscope in her pocket. “I agree with Addison's conclusion that you do have an arrhythmia, so let's try to figure out why and if it's just that or something more. I'd like to start off with an EKG then do a Cardiac MRI.”

Alex and Jo nodded as they expected this. Maggie stayed with them as the techs came in and did the EKG first. Then they took Jo down for the MRI in a wheelchair as no one wanted her walking. Alex dawned the lead vest as he stayed with her. He held onto her foot as she went into the machine. She didn't ask him to, but he did it anyway, and she appreciated it. He didn’t want to leave her as much as she didn’t want him to leave.

Once they got back to their room, Jo crawled back into bed. Then they waited for Maggie to return with a diagnosis. They both knew that this part could take a little while, but knowing that didn't ease their minds, especially as the minutes ticked by. Although it was at least a small mercy that they weren't rushing her into an OR room. Thus, it couldn't be that serious, but it could have been any number of things as his mind turned and twisted. Alex could see how anxious Jo was as her heart rate was higher than usual.

“You should go get the girls soon. It's a pickup time,” Jo said as she looked up at the clock.

“Not till after we talk to Addison and Maggie,” Alex said, as he waited for them from the window.

“You should take them home after,” Jo said as he paused and looked back at her. She seemed reluctant, but firm in her words. “Just because I'm staying in the hospital doesn't mean they have to.”

Jo looked up at her IV and monitors and then down at her belly. They both knew Luna hated the hospital. Even going for a check up was a struggle. She still had lots of checkups and growth progressions scans on top of all of her hearing appointments. Although she loved going on rounds on the Ped’s floor, she just didn't like being the one examined. They didn’t know how she would do if she saw her mama in the bed with all the monitors, oxygen, and wires.

“I'm not leaving you here alone. It's just one night at the hospital. If we set up the pack and play or have them sleep down in the daycare, they’ll be okay,” Alex said, firmly as Jo softened, he knew she didn't want him to leave. They could get Luna settled for one night for a fun little sleepover. 

Alex paced back and forth watching the window and waiting for Addison and Maggie to return. Jo watched him walk back and forth from one side of the room. She knew he hated being on the outside waiting for them. He was restless without something to do. Jo was restless watching him. She tried to read to focus on her medical journal and rubbed her belly as she felt her baby kick, but she was just as bad at waiting. She fidgeted with her fingers in the blanket while he placed on his feet. 

Soon enough, all their friends started to gather around the room. Meredith was the first to swoop in with Link closely following her. Jo was relieved to have them as they waited silently next to her. They hugged them before and exchanged what little information they knew. However when Amelia and Teddy came to check in with Owen, Jo looked over at him and Alex knew to stop them. She never liked a crowd and she hated being in the hospital with everybody looking at her. 

“No, guys please just leave us alone,” Alex said, not so politely, shutting the door in their face as he saw Bailey and Webber come around the corner. 

“Well you heard him,” Bailey said, turning around to address them all. “Leave the Karev’s alone!”

All of their friends left after that, but they lingered in the hallways and Bailey was posted at the nurses station. Alex shut the blinds and Jo breathed out a little bit of relief although she still felt like a fish in a bowl. 

“Link, can you go down to the daycare and check in on the girls,” Jo asked before they left.

“Yeah, do you want me to pick them up today?” 

“No, Alex should be able to just let them know it will be a little later tonight.”

“I'll leave you alone after that but call me if you need anything. I've canceled my surgeries for the day so it's just paperwork,” Link said, leaning in and giving her a long hug as Jo relished the hug from her best friend.

Link left, but Meredith lingered as Jo looked over at her. “Can you stay with us?”

“Of course, and if at any point you want me to leave I will,” Meredith said with an understanding nod.

“Thank you.” Jo said as they both relaxed, Meredith was the only one they both trusted to keep them sane and Link was the one they trusted to check on the girls without alerting the daycare staff that something was wrong.

“What if we talk about something else, how did you guys like the tulip fields?” Meredith said, trying to distract them. “I heard you had quite a day up there.” 

Jo nodded as she relaxed. “Yeah we had a good time. Until Helena hit her head.”

“I heard that too, but Alex said, she was a trooper as you fixed her up.”

“Yeah, and we got lots of good family photos, I’ll show you.” 

Jo showed her some of the pictures she had and Meredith smiled at the pictures of the girl. They all made small talk, but Alex remained silent and focused on the results as he looked out the window again. Jo saw this and patted the bed next to her and he reluctantly got in next to her. He wrapped one arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder as they both put their hands over their baby. Jo started to sing the familiar little lullaby. She had a different one for each child. For this baby she hummed “Baby Mine,” from Dumbo and she could feel the baby fall asleep under their hand.

Finally Addison, Carina, and Maggie came in and stood around them. They all had somber faces and Jo squeezed Alex’s hand. Maggie came and sat down on the bed next to them. She never did that and Alex wasn't sure if it was because they were family or if she was preparing to tell them difficult news. 

“Jo,” Maggie said before taking a deep breath. “You have a Mitral valve regurgitation which has led to Congestive Heart Failure.”

Jo nodded as tears appeared in her eyes. She knew what this meant for herself and their baby. 

She tried to hold them back but she couldn't. All of her worry and her emotions from the day bubbled over in the pot and this diagnosis was like the last pour of water and caused it all to spill over. All the tears she had been holding back came flooding down as she finally broke down into sobs. 

Alex looked over at her, and instantly moved to comfort her. He climbed in the bed next to her, putting his arm around her as she took a second to bury her head in his shoulders hiding from all of this as she cried. Alex seemed to break as well, as he silently cried as well. She wasn't sure who was squeezing their hands harder, but he held on to her hand with a death grip. He didn't want to let go and Jo wouldn't let him. 

“Jo listen to me okay,” Addison said as Jo felt the bed dip and as she sat next to them putting a hand on her legs. “You and your baby are not going to die. This is reversible, and after surgery to replace your valve, you are going to be okay and you continue to have a healthy pregnancy. There's a good possibility that your heart failure will reverse itself. I’ve looked at the numbers and I see a good outcome for you.”

“You can't promise that,” Jo cried, still hiding in Alex's shoulders as he gripped her tightly in his arms. 

“No, but I can promise you that Maggie and I are going to do everything in our power to make sure that you leave this hospital with a healthy heart and a healthy baby,” Addison said, reaching out to put a hand on Jo's bump as their baby kicked her in response. 

“Jo listening to her, I trust Addison with you and our baby. If she says you'll be okay you'll be okay,” Alex said, despite this his voice breaking at the end.

She looked back at him and stared into his eyes as he quietly nodded to her. Jo took in a shaky breath as she wiped away the tears that still streamed down her face. She didn't have the strength to stop her tears. Addison looked at her and gave her a little smile as Jo reached out and grasped her hand and Addison gave her hand a squeeze. She looked back at Maggie who nodded and she continued. 

“As you know, Mitral valve regurgitation is a type of heart valve disease where the valve in the left chamber doesn't close properly. It allows blood to leak backwards from the valve. As a result there isn't enough blood being pumped from your heart to your body which is causing the fainting as well as your fatigue and shortness of breath. This is what has led to heart failure. While it isn't severe, it is still concerning. I believe your heart is working too hard to pump blood out to you and your baby. With the surgery to replace the valve it will give your heart a break and hopefully it will recover on its own. However, your oxygen levels are low as a result of the decreased blood flow. For now, we're going to keep you on supplemental oxygen.”

“What about my baby? They can't survive an open heart surgery. I'm only 27 weeks along. I can’t have this baby now. I know I can technically deliver them, but I don't want to have another NICU baby,” Jo asked, moving one hand to fearfully protect her bump.

“Your baby is just fine and I'm not looking to deliver them until I absolutely have to,” Addison said with a gentle reassurance as Jo nodded and looked down at her bump and began to rub her hand over their baby. 

“What could have caused this though?” Alex asked, looking from Jo back to them. “Jo and the baby have been perfectly healthy until now.” 

“We’re not sure. However we believe it was either a Mitral valve prolapse or a Congenital heart defect. We're also concerned that it was also aggravated by your pregnancy,” Maggie said, with a frown as Jo let out a breath and nodded. 

“Don't blame yourself Alex please,” Jo whispered as she looked over at him with pleading eyes, she could always read his mind.

“I'm not,” Alex promised her although it was a lie and he was sure she knew he was lying.

She could see the guilt in his eyes. This pregnancy was a reason Jo's heart condition was progressing. He was the one who wanted them to have another baby. But Jo wanted another child just as much as he did. Although, she was happy with their two girls. However she never wanted him to think it was because of him. She wanted this baby just as much as he did.

“So what's the course of treatment?” Jo said, trying to sound confident as she looked back over at Maggie, Carina, and Addison.

“Given how severe your symptoms are, I'd like to do a valvuloplasty for an artificial valve replacement,” Maggie said as agreed with a nod. 

“Okay,” Jo said, sounding unsure despite her words. 

She looked over at Alex. He had barely said anything this entire conversation, but she could see his thoughts in his eyes. She knew that he was taking all of this in strides. As was she, she had a heart condition. She and the baby were at risk and they would be in the hospital for a while. She knew the next step was surgery, but she couldn't imagine his wife going into heart surgery. 

It was a simple surgery and they would keep an eye on her, but Jo would be okay if she had convinced herself of that. She had to be fine. Jo took it in all over Alex and her tears continued to fall from her eyes as she quickly brushed them away. Alex just looked at her and moved to hug her close. They both looked back at Maggie and she nodded before she continued. 

“Okay,” Maggie said with a sure nod. “So I’m going to take a scope in through your femoral artery and feed it up to your heart. I'll place the new valve that will work to increase blood flow. Although it's not open heart surgery, it's still not an easy surgery. There will be an extensive recovery period especially until your heart failure reverses. I also don't want to wait for surgery and I’d like to get you prepped to do the surgery tomorrow.” 

“The baby should be safe, and the surgery doesn't pose a risk to your pregnancy, but we're still going to monitor you while you're in surgery,” Addison said as Maggie nodded in agreement.

“Does it have to be tomorrow?” Jo asked, biting her lip if she lived over them.

“Yes,” Alex said his anxiety in his words as he looked over at her full of concern.

“I know but it's just all so soon,” Jo said, her fingers tingling into the blanket as if pulling it further up her chest would protect her. “We don't even have the nursery ready and nobody's told the girls they're just done in daycare. What if something happens to me and they lose their mom and don't tell me that it's not a possibility because I know the statistics. I can't do this without having a plan in place to protect my girls.”

“Okay, It doesn't have to be tomorrow, I can give you time to get your affairs in order,” Maggie agreed with a slight nod, her eyes still full of concern. “However, we should schedule it for this week. The state of your heart combined with your symptoms tells me we can’t wait for this surgery.”

“Okay,” Jo agreed, letting out a breath. She knew she’d have to face this sooner however, she just wanted one night with her girls and her husband. 

“Then we should do the the day after tomorrow,” Jo said looking over at Alex who nodded in agreement for his own support. 

“Okay,” Maggie agreed, looking down at the tablet, presumably scheduling the surgery.

“I would also like for you to stay in the hospital for as long as possible so that we can monitor you and the baby and to keep you on bed rest until you deliver. We will monitor your heart and make sure it all goes well, but I don't want to stress it out too much. Your heart won't be fully recovered by the time you give birth and this could lead to complications,” Addison explained to them. “And I'll stay in Seattle until then.”

Jo nodded, holding her belly protectively with both hands as Addison answered her question. 

“So the delivery will be hard on her heart?” Alex asked, placing a hand over her belly too, worried more now then he thought was possible.

“That will most certainly be the case as you will only have had 10 weeks to reverse your heart failure and recover,” Addison said as Jo nodded. “But we won't know how strong your heart is until after surgery.”

“Okay,” Jo said with a nod although Alex could tell she was still taking it in, though she started to process it more like a doctor. “Would a C-section be safer?”

“Possibly, but we can make that decision later down the line,” Addison said with a nod. 

“Right now the main concern is getting you and your baby through surgery. The recovery part will come after,” Maggie said as Addiosn nodded in agreement.

Surgery, she needed surgery. Jo looked over at Alex and could tell the same thing was running through his mind. Jo just nodded and there was an awkward silence that filled the room and no one knew what to say, but of course Meredith did. She put her hands over Jo's, giving them a squeeze.

“So this is what's going to happen. You two are going to spend the night here and the girls are going to spend the night in the daycare. As soon as you're ready, I’ll go get the girls and bring them up here to spend some time with you both. You're going to say hi to them, you're going to hold them, and love them and play with them. Meanwhile you're going to send out Link to your house to get a couple bags and things for you both to spend the night here. Then you two are going to settle in for the night and you will worry, but I'm not worried about you, you are in excellent hands, Jo.” 

“Then tomorrow, you're going to get up and relax. I'll make sure you have everything to get your Affairs in order. Then you're going to spend the day with your girls doing whatever you want. Then you'll go to bed and get up tomorrow and we'll do the surgery. Maggie and Addison are going to come get you. We're all going to walk you into the cath lab and Alex is going to hold your hand until you fall asleep. Then while you're in surgery, Alex and I are going to take the girls down to the park across the street.”

“No, I'm not leaving the waiting room,” Alex said, shaking his head as he looked over at Jo.

“Yes you are,” Jo said with a firm tone. “There's probably going to be an intern in surgery with me and they can text you about what's going on. The second Maggie is done you are going to know about it.”

“Jo's right,” Meredith said, looking over at him. “You shouldn't stand in the waiting room worrying and pacing, you should spend some time with your girls, it'll help.”

“Okay,” Alex sighed but nodded in agreement.

“Then Jo is going to come out of surgery and you're going to come up here and greet her. You're going to wait by her bedside until she wakes up and when she does, you're going to smile at her and tell her it went well and that she and the baby are alright. The recovery will be tough for a while, it's going to be okay.”

Jo nodded in agreement as she looked over at Alex. She knew she had a million things to do but right now her mind was numb with pain and the possibilities of everything it was all too much to think about. She knew he was on board with everything, but he would still worry to no end, and he nodded too. 

“Okay, thank you,” Jo said, letting out a shaky breath and Alex squeezed her hand. 

“Yeah, thank you,” Alex said with a nod as they all nodded back and Maggie gave them a small smile. 

The three of them left and they closed the door quietly behind them, leaving the two of them alone. It was then that Jo broke down crying again and Alex couldn't help but cry too. They had their answers, they knew what was going on and they had a plan for a place, but that didn't stop the feeling of how scary it all was.

“You're going to be fine and the baby's going to be fine,” Alex said as he wrapped his arms around her. 

“You don't know that!”

“No I don't, but I have to say that because I can't lose you, Jo.”

Jo could only cry as she gripped on to him and hid her face in the crook of his shoulder. She sobbed for a long time, they both did, until the tears finally dried up. Even then held each other for a while, until Jo pulled back and looked up at him. Although she was still heartbroken and looked as if she would fall apart at any second. She took a deep breath and seemed to pull herself together as she looked more sure and settled. 

“Can you go get the girls please?” 

“Yeah, but I'm going to call Link and have him bring them up. I don’t wanna leave you.” 

“No, please go get them. It's already been a scary day and I don't want them to walk in on their Mama in the hospital without their Daddy holding them,” Jo said pleading with her eyes as she grasped onto his shirt with her hand. “Besides, Meredith and Link can come back in and keep me company.”

Alex followed her eyes as she looked behind him to see that they were waiting outside for permission to come in. “Okay.” 

Alex kissed her, savoring the feeling of her lips and holding his wife before he reluctantly got up and went and got their girls. Jo instantly felt the loss of his arms around her like a sudden chill. She pulled the blanket around her further but didn't say anything to stop him from leaving. Before he left, he looked back at her and Jo managed to smile at him. 

He took a deep breath, not waiting to go. Thoughts of what could happen while he was gone filled her mind, but Jo knew the girls should have him with them when they saw her in the hospital bed for the first time. So she watched him go and tried to hold it together until Link and Meredith came into the room.

#jo wilson #alex karev #jolex #grey's anatomy #otp: home and heart #my work #my writing #my fanfiction #addison montgomery #maggie pierce #meredith grey #atticus lincoln #TBoTH

[sjhanny2000]

*clears throat*

OMFG HOLY SHIT

the tension, the escalation, the DRAMA, THE FUCKING LEAVING OUT THE DOOR......I love it, I fucking live it I can't wait for my heart to be shattered 🎶

But damn I could see Tengen's perspective since he simply wants to live a peaceful life in the end but having to deal with demons will mean the child is kinda left fatherless and semi motherless. And even left a little open to be attacked since we don't know (Y/N)'s skill level when it comes to fighting, especially fighting demons (since it is alluded that they got hurt after an incident in a village making them stay home [unless I read that wrong])

However it is ironic that Tengen doesn't want to leave a child (more so his child) to live in such a miserable demon infested world, all alone (honorable in that case)

but, leaves HIS 4th spouse in a 'miserable demon infested world all alone'. And (Y/N) just quietly leaving and going down the road without anyone helping spells bad news, like...the sun is setting who knows how far off Tengen lives from the closest city😭

[As always you are amazing at writing these fics <3 never fails to make my eyes water and my nose start doing that tingling thing before you start crying, I'm curious to see what next ]

[also please add me to the tag list for that fic as well I got too excited and just started reading😭😭]

Dude, I was honestly got so worked up over this I thought I was gonna explode! Tengen loves flashiness and drama so I thought I'd give it to angst style and by your reaction it seems I delivered!

Tengen's perspective is completely valid, it's one I would probably have as well if demons were lurking about, but my mans went about it it in the worst. way. possible! Y/N is actually the same one from "The Danger of Flamboyant Love"; the only time I've ever change who exactly Y/N was in "Reciprocation Hesitation" and that's just technically an AU on my KNY universe! With that said, Y/N is a civilian and has little to no training, though Tengen and the Wives have taught her some self defense, increasing her training after the incident in TDoFL. I'll get to this in the next part but I will say (spoiler!) that Tengen has no idea Y/N has skipped town, which will be addressed soon with the Wives included! So yeah, Y/N is now in a potentially dangerous situation that more than probably could have been avoid, tbh.

In both the manga and anime, the Uzui family is always talking about retiring, settling down, etc., which I believe that's something Tengen really wants. This feeling is only amplified with the presence of Y/N, who acts as their homebody and the anchor to the craziness of their profession. I respect him for not wanting to bring his children into such a world, especially with his background and what he deals with daily.

We all know what happens to people walking alone after dark: NOTHING GOOD!

And thanks @milkyanon for being here from the start! It's always my goal to have people shed a little tears out of happiness/sadness by the end of the fic lmao. Welcome to the angst tag-list!

#thanks for the ask! #asks open #uzui tengen x reader