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#the boys like bitch leave the FL ALONE
rav3nmuse · 1 year
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Yamato wa Koi no Mahoroba //
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rejiyu · 2 years
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Who will dry your eyes, when it falls apart?
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s. - non-idol!niki x gn!reader. w. - angst,fl,sad past stories, launguage,arguments. p. - breaking up with niki the day before school, calling him a "maniac" y'all going back a fourth with each other but why did he call you one day? wc. - idk..
author's note: Honestly i'm writing this before i even wrote the story so if it's bad you know why but i also like don't even know how to write angst..
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Walking in the school hallways feeling guilty, hearing all the people whispering makes it's even worse. You and niki peacefully walking by each other trying not to make eye contact nor brought up in a situation, but it's always "who said the first word", "why did they break up weren't they like "in-love"", "yn is probably guilty but doesn't wanna admit it."
just going into your own school is a living hell, it's suppose to be a "safe place" but it certainly is not the tension between you and niki is very uncomfy for both of y'all. If you're being honest it's really none of y'all's fault but at the same it's your.
calling him "self-centered" for his actions towards in public than at home, him saying he "dated you just for fun and laughs" calling him a "maniac". what sucked more is most of your friends leaving you calling you "drama maker", when none of them know the story of y'all's relationship. The only person who knows about the story is only you and niki and you plain it to stay that way no matter the time period even until death.
then people coming up to invading your privacy asking questions that were rude but you really had no one to stand up for you. you walking by yourself felt so embarrassing to you your name being in peoples mouth for bad reasons people making you the bad guy, but was showing up the next week actually the whole school year even worth it? sitting alone at lunch by yourself, walking to class alone, people purposely ignoring you, the stares you get, the uncomfy questions. You were sick and tired of being the center of attention for weeks.
walking to your locker for your last class to get your stuff ready for class, while opening it a note falls wondering what it says "meet me in library right after school, sincerely, riki." reading it was absolutely shocking, you've been hearing bad stuff for the past weeks but he finally decides to put a note asking to meet you?
you didn't want to go but you did. Why? because you just wanted the drama to be over even it would probably never be over.
walking to the library right after school, entering it felt a little relieving it was so quiet and peaceful made you kinda relieved, turning your head around to see a blank black shadow around you just to niki. calling him "riki" would make you sick to your stomach.
"hi" the tall boy said with a soft voice, you kinda missed it. "hi" you said back to him. "soo what did you need?" asking him with a confused tone. "i just want to sort stuff out with you" him saying that made you feel a little better about yourself. - but he wasn't finished yet. "because you were honestly being a bitch back their to me." he said with no hesitant. him boldy saying that made you wanna break-down but also yell.
"if you're here to start more stuff with me why do you even bother talking to me?" you asked him, he was about to say something but you cut him off "you never told me anything after that day, you never bothered talking to me. but when the chatters goes down about me you wanna talk now? how does that work niki." you said stuttering tears dropping down you face from your chin to the floor. hearing the droplets hit your shoes.
all niki does is stare at you but than speaks up "look you thinking i came here just to "talk" is really dumb of you." you looking at him with disgust and anger, "calling me "dumb" when you called me that night saying "i'm sorry i really love you, I didn't mean it i promise." you're really such a fool of yourself you are. we had something special but you tore it apart. i'm was here thinking we could sort things out but now. i wish i never even met you."
those harsh words coming out your mouth, you can feel people staring at you. niki looking at you coldy and speechless. you walking out the library your hands bundled up, tears falling, you breathing unstable but back on at the same time. saying those words to him made you hurt yourself even more.
walking into the house ignoring your parents greetings going up stairs slamming your door. just to cry for hours and hours.., but you decide to get up and shower that felt good to you. but you seem to look at yourself as the bad guy, a drama maker, disgusting .
your parents knocking on your door to check-up on you, but they just brought you food. at least they were their for you am I right? going to sleep early just to wake up at 12:00pm in the morning looking at your phone to see, texts from your "friends",niki,the school.
but you just ignored them, they only care for you once you stop showing them attention. you really didn't care for your school, but your mom telling you that you can either switch schools or be home schooled you chose home. you don't care if you do not interact socially with people. as long as you we're focusing on yourself you were all right.
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fayeimara · 3 years
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Meant To Be Series || One For Every Billion
Episode 4. If You're A Masochist
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Putting your phone away after posting your latest update, you look around one more time for either of your cousins. The oldest, Ren, had left you with his brother Shin, strictly telling him not to leave you alone before he met back up with you both. But then you convinced Shin to call the car and drop off the bags you'd overloaded him with, agreeing to meet back here this cute café. It had been pretty easy to convince him, seeing as how you could barely make him out over the bags and boxes of items you'd bought for your friends and family back home. It was fair play, after all, you'd brought just as many gifts with you for your cousins here when you'd arrived.
Smiling as you tip the cup of coffee up to your lips, you consider if you've harassed him enough for the day or if you should top it off by ordering him something he'll hate just to see that distressed look on his face. He deserves it for the prank he pulled on you a few days ago, when they picked you up from the station, literally scaring you half silly when he snuck up from behind you, grabbed you, and started to run. You were pretty worried because not a single person in the busy terminal had tried to stop him even though you were clearly (momentarily) terrified and not aware of who had 'kidnapped' you until he'd finally put you down. You guess you should have expected this with him though, given you both have always messed around with each other, pulling fun pranks and stupid stunts, since the two of you were kids, but you'd gotten completely complacent since you'd last seen these oh so lovely cousins of yours.
If there was any doubt on whether you had any payback planned for Ren, well, he was the one who'd grabbed not only your bags but also several pictures of your embarrassing slip in composure, i.e. your briefly terrified face, and shared it with the world. So yeah, you were sure he was sleeping with an eye open for the time being, which is why you would call on your considerable patience before hitting him subtly and satisfyingly when he least expected it.
With that in mind, you head back to the counter to place another order and then ask if there are any specialty dessert shops in the area. Happy to hear of one pretty close, you're sure you'll be able to quickly head over and back before Shin returns.
The shop is as incredible as promised because it only takes them about ten minutes to prepare your custom order of mochi with a spicy twist. Trying one out, you can't help but enjoy the sweet flavour and texture even if you're disappointed that it doesn't seem to have the effect you were hoping for, until you feel the heat slowly build the more you chew. Oh. Oh my. Oh my g- Mouth burning, you quickly gulp at the coffee still in your hand to try and relieve the pain. Okay so.. it's perfect! Cue evil laugh.
You thank the brilliant artisans, because that's what they are, and promise to leave a review on your way out. It's not until you're walking by an alley (how typical, right?) between shops on your way back to the cat café, that you're pulled from your thoughts of not-so-sweet revenge.
"Give it up, kid." It's nothing alarming at first. Not until you hear the next cry.
"Don't touch me! Leave me alone!"
Um. What?
You've stopped even before you turn your head to look in at a couple older guys surrounding a little kid. Seriously, what's with the cliché? You honestly thought this only happened in anime but you guess dummies always prove people wrong.
Debating who you should call, because you're not going to assume adding yourself to the equation alone is going to be any help, you quickly look around only to realize that the only people passing by near or across the street either don't seem to care, or aren't the kind of people you'd feel comfortable asking for any assistance from. People can call you out on stereotyping but really, where's the kind but strong elderly gentleman or tough, no nonsense, do-gooder woman when you need one??
"Hey!" The tears in the kid's voice draw you back, with your head whipping around to witness one of the bullies reach out to grab his collar. Quick kid, he manages to dodge even if barely but he's about to be blindsided by one of the other guys.
You don't even have time to sigh at your stupidity as you run up between them as fast as you can, slapping the second guy's hand away from where it was reaching for the kid's arm.
With that loud sound and dramatic entrance, all eyes are now on you, but the element of surprise does provide enough time for you to pull the boy behind you and back the two of you up a bit so you're both not completely surrounded.
Okay, this kid barely reaches over your hip, he can't be older than about 6 or 7 maybe, what's he doing here alone?
"Well, well. What do we have here?" The first guy that had tried to grab the kid's collar studies you. You want to say his voice is annoying or that he's an ugly creep but he's just an average guy of about a few years older than you. The only distinct feature are his glasses and that's probably because you don't typically think of wannabe thugs in glasses. Again, so sue you for you conventional stereotypes, but you're in a kind of delicate situation to be worried about thinking inside the box.
"Why don't you tell me," You shoot back, pretty upset about this pathetic tableau, "since it looks like three guys old enough to know better than to bully little kids."
The third guy hasn't done much until now but he laughs at your statement and, okay, at least his laugh is kind of annoying, like a dumb donkey's braying. You hope he's trying to fake an evil laugh or something and that's not his real one? Seriously, it sounds forced and fake so you hope for his sake it really is or no one will trust him once they hear it if that's all he has to work with for the rest of his life. You're tempted to say that to his face, but you've also been told by your friends that your reckless impulses tend to escalate the situation when you need the opposite so you hold back.
Because you're outnumbered. With only a crying kid at your back, quite too literally.
"Oh no, we're not bullying him. He's my kid brother, you know? We were just messing with him since he was being a brat and grabbed the new games we just bought."
You hesitate, thinking it over. Did you make assumptions and jump in too fast? He didn't call out for help or say anything specific to indicate he didn't know these guys. You don't want to turn away to look him over, but he had been holding something clutched against his side.
You feel a little hand clench into the back of your dress and a couple tugs follow, so without turning away, you cast your gaze down and meet teary hazel eyes that are peering up with a little hope among the fear, "He's lying, oneesan, I don't know them."
"Ahh, stop lying and dragging the nice, pretty girl into this." Second guy speaks up, trying to reach around you to grab the kid, but you quickly shift the both of you back a bit more. You realize the wall is just behind you, if the kid's gasping sob means anything. You're out of space to maneuver.
So...you're in a tough spot, you've got your hands literally full and you're up against three guys that are definitely living up to your first impression of them. You don't really have time to think it over as 'glasses' loses patience and reaches for you directly, grabbing your arm that's holding the trick mochi and trying to pull you forward. "What's this? Maybe we should take it for the trouble you've added by interfering in a family issue."
"How about this instead?" And before you can pity the loss, you've thumbed off the lid to your delicious hot coffee that you guess won't get to finish drinking, and toss it in his face.
"Arhggh!" Wow, high pitched for a tough guy, but you really can't think about that right now. Goodbye, coffee, your sacrifice is appreciated.
"What the hell, you crazy b-"
"Don't bother, dumbass, it's probably not hot enough to permanently scar him at this point." True story, you like your coffee cooled down more than most.
They're staring at you like you're crazy but it's really just the recklessness you're known for. Although you should have held on to that reminder of your friends' warnings that ran through your head earlier because the situation has definitely been escalated if the mean, hateful looks that are appearing from behind their fake polite masks are anything to go by. They clearly weren't even trying that hard to pretend. While the second guy is supporting his friend who's flailing, 'Fake laugh' reaches for you, this time angled for the collar of your dress or even your neck, "You stupid bitch."
Oh okay. Well, I'm so sorry for my impertinence, god. This is payback for the mochi prank, isn't it? You actually roll your eyes upwards for a split second with that thought.
Then you prepare to drop the maybe-unlucky box for the coming fight but just before his hand reaches you, another suddenly shoots out and grabs it. Hard.
"Don't you know how to treat women, buddy?" Wow, now that's a nice voice.
Shifting your eyes to your left without turning your head, you catch sight of a handsome bedheaded guy about your age. You would probably be all heart eyes in any other situation- who are you kidding? This is literally the perfect situation.
"I don't think he does, but that's probably because he has zero experience with them." Yay, your mouth can run freely with your attitude now that you have some back up. Not that it stopped you earlier, though..
This new guy shifts his gaze to meet yours and looks pretty surprised at your smirky smile (yes you're calling it that). Why so surprised though? You guess you should have been crying or even praising this god for stepping in. Whatever, he's just a boy. Even if he is drool worthy.
He studies you and pauses briefly on the redness marking your wrist from where one of the guys had grabbed you and then his golden eyes flick down to the boy hidden behind you before focusing a steady stare back on the bullies, "I think you should leave before I really get pissed off."
He must be a magician because they vanish pretty fast after his low declaration, supporting their friend who's managed to wipe most of your precious coffee off of his slightly reddened face. Looks like, he'll live to be a dumbass another day. Could've told them that and avoided the escalation. Oh wait, you pretty much did, right?
The guy is turning back to you after watching them leave the alley and you reach for the little kid with the hand that once held your coffee. Feeling his little hand slip into yours, you start to walk the two of you towards the street while keeping your body angled so you don't completely turn your back on this new guy. You swear the amount of times you've had a situation like this turn into something unexpected is a little unnatural. "Wow. Well... Thank you, stranger, for your help."
He narrows those stunning eyes on you but you don't think he's angry, just a little confused for a moment, before he realizes you're equally wary of him. He moves out of the alley after you both, but thankfully not too closely, because you have to turn your back on him so you don't trip or walk into anyone once you reach the main street.
"It's Kuroo. Kuroo Tetsuro."
You silently startle around at the sound of his voice coming from a lot closer to you than expected but compose yourself quickly so as not to offend him by whirling around in alarm.
"Oh, uh.. nice to meet you." Okay, you both should be safe now. You turn back to face him and the kid is now glued to your side, tiny hands gripping your dress with both hands, one at your back and one at the front. At least it's not silk because that would leave quite the wrinkles. "Anyways... we have to get going now to find whoever lost this little guy."
His arm moves up, rubbing his hand in his hair at the back of his sheepishly tilted head. Probably can't get his hair any messier at this point. "That would be me."
"What?" You raise a disbelieving eyebrow. Always the unlikeliest odds with you and really, what are they anyways here in this situation? But it turns out he's not kidding and you're not misunderstanding.
"I'm the one who lost him. That's my little cousin you're trying to walk away with."
"Hey!" You protest his teasing implication, before looking down at the boy. The other guys tried this too, though.
So you delicately crouch down (aware you're in a dress and heeled ankle boots that could spell impending disaster if you lose your balance) to make sure you're at eye level with the kid. He's not crying anymore, but not looking happy or relieved either. Just staring back at you steadily, a little like the calm gaze of this other guy, actually, but let's not go with confirmation bias. Maybe he's just not an overly excitable kid to begin with.
"Do you know this guy?" You ask softly. He told the truth before, under the stress of a pretty scary situation, after all.
He looks over and up at the tall teen claiming to be his cousin before nodding. "Oh." You give the little boy a reassuring smile before leaning in to whisper in his ear, "Can I ask your name?"
And when you turn your ear to him so he can whisper a reply, you hear, "Itsuki."
Giving him another sweet smile, you stand back up and he's glommed right back onto your side. You meet the bedhead's eyes with your own slightly narrowed but steady too, and settle on a serious expression with an eyebrow raised. He hasn't looked away from you even once but that's fair considering you might actually be trying to take away his little cousin... whom he's lost already once today, if we're all being honest.
"What's his name?"
He raises an eyebrow to match yours, stance indicating he's in no rush but expression definitely amused, "You mean Itsuki?"
"Yeah.. okay, then." You look back down at the boy who's reluctantly releasing you as Kuroo moves closer to you both, your smile back on my face. "It was really nice to meet you, Itsuki. Thank you for being so brave and strong back there. I couldn't have sent those bullies away without you!"
"Or me?" Kuroo asks but it's not really a question more like an amused statement sliding into remind you that he did save you both in the end. Isn't he a little too close for politeness?
"I suppose." Now you have tilt your head back to look at him again. Argh, why is it like a compulsion to just stare your life away when you look into those eyes? "Thank you, then.. Kuroo."
"Not that you needed my help." Ohh, he's smirking at you and it. is. something. "You looked like you were mostly holding your own before I stepped in."
You laugh, because he's really just being nice and you don't know what expression your face might make after seeing his smirk if you don't pick amusement, "Pretty sure it was painfully obvious who brought the most advantage on our side if it came to a fight... and it wasn't me."
"Oya? Our side, huh? And what's your criteria for assessing that advantage?"
And before you can stop yourself, his question has you looking him up and down like.. like you're checking him out. Cue your blush. Ugh. You pass it off and try to push through, "What? I'm not supposed to notice that you have the physical advantage over me?"
Yeah, you worded that deliberately and wouldn't change it for anything because it's so worth it to see the red lightly tint his own cheeks. Yeah, I see your thoughts went there.
"Anyways," You start to step backwards, "Really, thank you."
You turn away to walk over to the coffee shop just another door down.
"Wait," You look over to see both Itsuki and Kuroo catch up to you quickly, the latter now holding on to the former gently but firmly, "I should be thanking you. You did step in to help my cousin when not many others would."
"Oya?" You copy his cute phrase with a look at him from the corner of your eyes and a teasing smile of your own, "How do you know he didn't step in to help me?"
"Somehow I doubt that." The three of you come to a stop in front of the coffee shop and Kuroo's distracted for a second, "Wait, this is your stop?"
"Yeah, why?"
He chuckles, "Ours too. We'd just stopped in here ourselves when Itsuki wandered away." We?
"Oh, I was here a little earlier too, but I needed to grab.." You lift the box, ".. this, for someone. I left my order here though."
"You lose your coffee often or just an addict?"
"Haha. Neither. It's... a thing. You'd think I'm horrible if I explain."
"I doubt I'd ever think that at this point. Can I pay for your new order and you can tell me about it over your next cup? You know, as a thank you for putting yourself in a dangerous situation for my cousin." Why does he make that sound both grateful and like a stern admonishment at the same time?
"I covered it already and it wasn't really for me. But I really appreciate the offe-"
You're cut off by the door opening and Shin bursting through with a very exasperated look on his face. Whoops, guess you took too long. He immediately starts complaining, "Where have you been?! Imagine my worry when I arrive here and you're gone! You promised you'd wait here."
Another guy has walked out behind him but you ignore that because you see that Shin's holding the drink you got him, but that has your name on it, and can't help but point out both literally and dryly, "Clearly so worried, you picked up my order in the meantime?"
"Hey, there are two drinks so I figured one was mine! But they're both awful!" Of course he tried them both. His face turns into a sad pout, "Why would you order such sour drinks when you know I hate them! And I know you do too! So... do you really hate me for that little thing? You've been so mean today."
You chuckle because this is literally the perfect opportunity. Well, actually, Kuroo is still standing by politely with Itsuki, watching you both with interest, but that other guy has walked up to them and is now also standing there. Is he gaming out here? Never mind.
You give Kuroo an apologetic smile with a finger held up to indicate you'll be a moment and then turn back to offer the box you've been holding onto this whole time to your dear cousin. "I can't imagine why you'd feel that way, but I did get you this, too. You can't have it all though, it's also for Ren."
He reaches for the box when you pop it open and happily exclaims, "Mochi? Aw, I take it back, you're the best!" before proceeding to pop two in his mouth. Oh. Uh-oh.
Okay then, closing the box, you walk back over to Kuroo as Shin happily munches away behind you. "Sorry, yes, I appreciate the offer but as you can see, I have my hands full with-"
"Ahhh! OMG, my mouth is burning!!! What is this?" Is he crying? He's definitely chugging that 'horrible' drink. "I take it back that I took it back. You do hate me. And for what?! I'm sorry I tried to kidnap you, okay?! Ahhh! Make it stop-"
He keeps rambling, even while alternating between choking down the sour drink and pausing for quick panting breaths every now and then, as tears actually run down his face. Even the gamer boy is momentarily distracted watching. You can't help the satisfied smile that stretches across your face as you watch Shin dissolve into tortured agony from the corner of your eyes and finish your sentence "-a pretty troublesome commitment already."
Kuroo looks a little worried but definitely way more amused, "I thought that box was something really special, the way you held onto it the whole time."
"Yeah, even in exchange for my precious coffee-" You wipe away a pretend tear and swear he mutters 'so you are an addict' under his breath before you finish, "but it was worth the revenge, wouldn't you say?"
"Well... He tried to kidnap you?"
"Ugh, don't ask. It was a stupid prank that I briefly fell for. But I think he won't try getting me back for a while. At least a week of peace."
"So.. don't mess with you, is what I'm hearing."
You laugh at his accurate interpretation, "Pretty much. Or do, if you're a masochist."
He looks slightly awed and a whole lot intrigued when he states, "At first I thought you were some incredible angel.. but you're pretty much more an incredible devil, aren't you?
"Incredible, either way? I'll take it." You smirk, thinking of the irony he'll probably never understand.
"How about my request for a name?"
"Isn't it Kuroo Tetsuro?"
"I'm asking for your name, Kitten." He's a little exasperated and just a smidge embarrassed that you made him spell it out. I mean, you like that he's all witty and smooth but... you really like a guy's direct side, too.
You do still smile and tease a little more, "Kitten could work, given the irony..." He gives you an unamused look, but you were continuing anyway, "But since you asked so nicely.. I'm Y/-"
"Oi!" Ren is standing across the street with the car, door open, "I've been looking for you. It's time to go."
"Oh," You look back at Kuroo who's still looking at Ren a split second longer before focusing back on you, "I'm sorry, I have to go!" You smile at him apologetically then face Itsuki, slightly crouched, to give him a bright smile, "Bye Itsuki! Take care and don't wander off again!"
You don't have time to say anymore than those goodbyes to the pair of cousins before your own is dragging you away, cursing you out and swearing he'll get you back. He's listing a lot of pretty creative ideas, silly boy, you'll just use them before he can.
You check both sides of the road as he's pulling you across since it doesn't look like he's going to but you both make it safely to Ren who just gives the two of you a droll look. "You guys definitely didn't listen to me."
He didn't even pose it as a question. You just shrug and give him a kiss on the cheek before sliding into the back of the sleek car, followed by Shin and then Ren, who calls out to let the driver know to take you all home. Maybe you glance out the tinted windows to steal one last look at Kuroo before the car starts to move away. Maybe you see that he's looking too, he's staring at the car but his mouth is moving and when it stops, the gamer boy says something back.
The last thing you see before the car pulls away completely and you can't see anymore is Itsuki pulling Kuroo back towards the café and he takes one last look your way before heading inside with his friend following.
You turn back around, not realizing you'd shifted your whole body. Ren is looking at you oddly so you just raise an eyebrow at him, but smile when Shin happily exclaims, "Hey Ren, we got you some treats too!"
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Masterlist
Behind The Scenes!
-Kuroo not only didn't get Y/n's name, but was pretty curious as to her close relationship with the two guys that we know as Shin and Ren
-If she had to measure, Y/n felt about the same level of attraction and connection with Kuroo as she did with Oikawa when she first bumped into him at the boba shop; he was interesting but still just a casual, fun encounter in the end
-Gamer boy was obviously Kenma, yeah?
-Is it funny for anyone else that Bokuto is liking or retweeting the posts about Y/n? Or is it just me because I clearly know too much?
-Itsuki is non-canon, if you weren't sure :(
A/N: I really like how this one turned out, I don't know why. It could have something to do with the fact that I've been a Kuroo simp the longest but I dunno, it just... flowed. And I barely even chewed over the edits.
Btw, if you guys ever see first-person POV (my, me, I, us, we) or 'Faye', it's probably a good time to restate that this started out as a purely self-indulgent imagining, which is why I write most seamlessly as myself in the scenarios. I then change it over to 'Y/n' and reader perspective during multiple levels of edits so you all can hopefully enjoy the story/scenarios too, but it can (and likely will) still slip through sometimes. Just let me know, and I'll fix it, thank you :) <3
Taglist: @delusivist
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crewhonk · 5 years
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Sunshine
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Cop!Bucky X Reader
In which your best friend, Maria Rambeau goes into labour on your couch and the freeway has other plans to get you to the hospital
Warnings: Swearing, Traffic, labouring mother, fluff, cop!beefy!bucky, im suffering from intense baby fever this is pretty self indulgent, GREYS ANATOMY SPOILERS
Words: 3.5K
@nomadsgrogers i tagged you now you have to name yours and seb’s first daughter after me
Your knuckles were white with the grip you had on the steering wheels of your Jeep, the engine purring louder as you pressed your sneakered foot harder on the gas and passed several cars very illegally. You could feel the sweat beading at your temples and you heart pounding in your ears, blood rushing to them in a roar not loud enough to block out the screaming from your passenger side seat. 
Maria Rambeau had come over to your house earlier that day— something not uncommon from one of your best friends, and you greeted her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and a whispered hello to her swollen stomach. You, Maria and Carol, had served in the Airforce in your late teens and early twenties both you and Maria had left to pursue goals which were just a little closer to Earth. She had curled up on your couch, barely hiding her discomfort as you handed her an iced tea— made just the way she liked. She had just been about to lift the glass to her lips when there was a sound of rushing water and she doubled over, pain electrocuting her body so deep it felt like the marrow in her bones was frying. 
You had immediately busted into action, quelling your tears of fear as you sprinted to your room for a change of clothes that may fit the very pregnant and soaked woman on your couch while yelling at her to time the spaces between her contractions. 
So, you were in the jeep now, racing down the freeway and drumming your fingers over the steering wheel, shushing Maria as she tried once again to apologize for ruining your couch. 
“Maria if you apologize once more I’m going to steal the birth certificate and change the name to dark roast coffee. Stop, I can get a new couch.” You bit, clenching your jaw as you swept back into the lane you were supposed to be. You thought you saw a flash of a middle finger but you genuinely couldn’t care less as the screaming woman in your car took precedence over all else. 
“Did you call Carol, yet?” You asked, trying to attempt to take your friends mind off the pain rocketing through her body. 
“Yeah, when you were in the bedroom. I think she screamed and swore and I’m pretty sure she said she was on her way to Brooklyn General. You know how she gets when she’s excited.” Maria smiled tiredly as the pressure lifted from her stomach. She sat back and patted the swell of her belly and looked down at it fondly. “You better calm down in there, soldier. Mama needs to get to the hospital before you meet her.”
“Yeah, and I already gotta get my couch replaced, I can’t afford to get the bloodstains out of the car.” You joked, winking over to Maria. 
“I’m sorry!” She cried, laughing before gasping as the felt another contraction build in her stomach. Instead of replying you just laughed and pressed your foot harder to the gas. 
___________________________
It was another five minutes of speeding down the highway when you merged onto the freeway and found yourself at your first problem. 
“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god this is not normal!” Maria pressed her forehead against the dash and you looked over worriedly before placing your hand on her back and rubbing it in soothing circular motions. 
“I’m pretty sure it is.” You hummed, noticing the there were a lot of red tail lights ahead and slowed down the jeep, flinching when you heard a low moan erupt from somewhere in Maria’s throat. 
“Shut up yes it is.” She growled, biting her forearm to stifle her keens of pain. There was a moment of silence before the contraction passed and she looked over at you, eyes tired and regretful “Sorry for saying that.”
“Stop apologizing. You’re literally in labour. You could say anything and I wouldn’t be offended.” You hummed, brows furrowing as you tried to see if you could fit in the space between the cars and the blockade to see if you could bypass the traffic. 
Nope. 
“No, no, no. What is this traffic, are you kidding me?” Maria cried when she looked up. You pressed your lips together and pulled over as far to the side as possible. You clicked the seatbelt and looked at Maria very seriously. 
“Do. Not. Leave. This car.” You said, pointing your finger in her face. Maria looked like she would like nothing more than to bite it clean off. Instead of giving your best friend the satisfaction, you opened the door and stepped out of the car. 
“Y/N. Bitch! Where the fuck are you— OWWWW!” She keened and you hesitated to leave her alone. Instead of doing so, you kicked on a car door beside you and alerted the car of young adults to your presence. The driver smiled politely and turned down the music before rolling down the window and smiling. 
“What’s up, Miss?” He was cute. Young, innocent, perfect for guarding a labouring soon-to-be mother. 
“Y/N. Call me Y/N, please.” You dug in your bag and pulled out your wallet, giving them each as much cash as you could before asking them; “Would you mind watching my very best, labouring friend while I go and see if I can get us a ride to the hospital, please?” You begged. His eyes widened and he looked at his round friend and beautiful, but very nerdy friend before stuttering out an affirmation. 
“Great, her name is Maria. I’ll be back in five minutes.” You rushed before beginning the short jog up to the front of the jam. There were a few police cars guarding the wreckage and you winced at the sight of crushed metal before running to the nearest cop car and leaning forward to rest your hand on your need and catching your breath. 
“Ma’am, are you okay?” A grumbly voice sounded above you and you shot up, hands on your back and a tired smile on your face. All was very well until your eyes landed on his beautiful, gorgeous, almost offensive face. His hair was hidden with a combination of black police hat and bun, a light sprinkling of scruff on his strong jaw and crooked nose between two very intense eyes. There was a gap in his eyebrow due to a scar and his rough appearance had your knees weak. 
“I— um. Yeah. I’m fine. How— how are you?” You tried to smirk and lean against the cruiser, remembering why you were there before straightening up. 
“I’m fine?” He replied, a smirk on his face and eyes thoroughly amused. Sure, he had been flirted with on the job before, but not in this situation and most certainly not by someone who took his very breath away. “What can I help you with?”
Right. 
“I— I have a friend back there and she is trying to stop herself from pushing a watermelon-sized human out of a space which is not watermelon sized.” You blushed as if you were in fifth grade and just hearing about the works of childbirth for the first time again. God, why did the first cop that helped her need to be a walking Adonis? A very, very amused Adonis. No way it was legal to wear a uniform that seemed to be ripping at the seams trying to keep muscles on muscles at bay. 
“Jesus.” He swore, looking around and seeing that all of his coworkers were busy. “I— okay, where is she?” 
_________________________
You and officer James “Bucky” Barnes, as you learned his name was, jogged back t your parked car, all three teenagers had since piled into the jeep and were trying their very best to quell the pain Maria felt shaking her to her very soul. The tiny kid looked as if he was going to explode if Maria squeezed his hand any tighter. At the sight of you, each teenager relaxed into their seats and smiled at you when you pulled open the passenger side door. 
“Hey, soldier.” You smiled, wiping Maria’s curly bangs from her forehead. She looked up slowly, as if in a daze and offered you a weak smile. 
“Did you know these kids are going to graduate top of their class at Midtown?” She hummed, looking back fondly at them. The pain was making her delirious and you blinked stupidly as you heard Maria’s giggles turn into a low moan of pain. 
“Hey, Maria, shhh. You’re okay, you’re safe.” You pulled her head to rest in the crook of her neck and looked back at Officer Barnes who looked a little too pale to be normal. She clutched your sides, pulling your shirt up to dig her nails into the soft skin of your waist, crying low not the safe crook of your neck. He knew right now really wasn’t the best time, but he’d be damned if the sight of your waist covered in long, dark claw marks make some of the blood drain from his brain to his stomach.  
Once the contraction passed, you pulled her chin so she would look at you and you spoke very slowly. The gentleness and care you showed for the people in your life made Bucky’s heart swell and he had to very much remind himself that he was, in fact, at work.
“This if Officer Barnes. He’s going to take us to the hospital, okay?” You hummed, staking her hair and smiling softly when she leaned into your touch. Seeing this side of Maira was rare, but you were living for every minute of it. 
“M’kay.” You took her hand and helped her down from the car, the teens taking the hint and exiting the car, all but the small boy climbing into the old beater. Maria’s knees buckled once she tried to put weight on them, and Bucky acted swiftly, catching her and stopping her into his arms as if she weren’t a heavily pregnant woman, and, at the very most, just a toddler throwing a tantrum. 
Fuck.
The boy walked to stand next to you as Officer Barnes began walking away, in the same state shock as you were right now. 
“He’s like, a real-life Hollywood superhero, huh?” He muttered, patting you on the shoulder. You nodded before turning to him and wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. 
“Thank you for everything you’ve done today. You’re a good kid— whoever raised you did a bang-up job.” You smiled, and he flushed bright red, sheepishly looking down at his feet briefly before pulling his phone from his back pocket. 
“I— would it be okay if I gave you my number? I just— I wanna know what happens.” You blinked before a wide smile spread across your face, handing him your own phone and waiting for him to give it back. When he did you looked at the name and smiled. 
“I’m sure she’d love to see the brave young man that held her hand in the freeway, Peter. I’ll be in touch, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
_______________________
You had all piled into the cop car quickly, Officer Barnes going to inform his Captain that he was going to take two women to the hospital before helping you both into the hard plastic seats of the back. You buckled Maria in as she went through another contraction and nodded at Officer Barnes that he was good to go. 
“You buckle up, too, Doll. Need you safe.” His gaze through the rearview mirror was intense and he didn’t miss the way you flushed pink at the nickname. He bookmarked that one to use again— there was no way he wouldn’t be seeing you after this day. 
The car pulled out, sirens and lights blaring as Bucky pulled out of the middle of the freeway, engine roaring as he sped his way to the hospital bay doors. Maria's contraction subsided and she slimed over to you, grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers together. 
“You’re a real life genius, you know that? In another life, I’m pretty sure you were a superhero.” You rolled your eyes at her compliment and physical affection, smiling widely and letting your eyes flicker to the rearview mirror, meeting those same blue, intense eyes once more. He seemed to smile at MAria’s comment, agreeing with her. 
“I cannot wait to tell the little baby that this is how she got her way to the hospital.” You laughed, placing your hand on her belly and rubbing. Maria hummed. 
“She’ll be sick of it by the time we tell it at her graduation.” Maria laughed, and you heard Bucky let out an amused huff of air through his nose. 
“And her wedding.”
“And her wedding.” She replied, eyes welling up with tears. “This is really happening, isn’t it?”
“You’re gonna be a mama.” You whispered, a new kind of excitement in your eyes. 
“And you’re gonna be a godmother.” She replied, the same excitement lacing her tone. Bucky’s heart damn well swelled in the front seat at the interaction. There was a pause before Maria jut her chin in the officer's direction. 
“I’m pretty close to revoking Sam’s title as Godfather and giving it to this guy. He’s the real hero of the day.” She smirked, winking at you and wiggling her eyebrows. 
“I don’t think he or Riley would be too happy about that— you know how much they want a little one in their house.” You laughed, nudging her shoulder but keeping her close. 
“Oh, I’m sure they can wait for the next one. I’m pretty sure I’m in a little bit love with this guy.” Maria smiled at the bashful laugh she pulled from the officer. The warm smile and flustered pink on his cheeks making his hard exterior nothing more than a soft teddy bear. Or a street mutt that everyone adores. 
“Me too.” You agreed quietly, winking at the man and blushing when he wiggled his eyebrows. Before you could get caught in your own feelings once more, Maria began rocking back and forth, breathing heavily and clutching your shoulder tightly as another contraction ripped her in half. 
Bucky pressed his foot harder on the gas. 
____________________
The cop car careened into the ER bay, and a very familiar face runs out, worry deep get in his brow at the sight of two of his closest friends in the back of a cop car. Tony Stark meets the car as it stops, opening the door to see Maria Rambeau keening in pain and you with tired, worried eyes. He nods towards the familiar officer and pulls Maria from the car and into a wheelchair. Bruce runs outside at the sight of two familiar faces and immediately starts asking questions. 
“What the hell happened?” He half-shouts, meeting you and looking back at Maria who is now surrounded but the best team of doctors. Helen Cho breaks through the crowd with a smile and a wink and immediately sweeps her up further into the hospital. 
“She came over and went into labour all over my couch and then we got stuck in traffic and I managed to find this Officer to help us.” You rushed, eyes darting anxiously to see if you could see Maria or Carol or anyone at all. Bruce looks back at Officer Barnes and smiles, jutting out a hand for Barnes to shake. 
“Thank you, Officer. Maria is one of our people, and you helping her and Y/N means more than you know.” Bucky blushed and smiled, stepping away and watching as Bruce turned to walk back into his ER. 
“Thank you, for everything, Officer.” You say, voice quiet. The toll of the day has already made your shoulders slouch and your blinks slow, but you know you have so many more hours to go before baby is here. There was no way that you would be missing your Godbaby’s birth. 
“Bucky. Please, it’s Bucky.” He smiled, leaning casually on his car and crossing his arms. You lick your lips at the sight of the bulging muscles, and he subtly flexes at your reaction to him. 
“You tell all the girls to call you Bucky or somethin’?” You joke, swaying up on your tip toes and back down. 
‘Only the pretty ones who care too much about their pregnant friends screaming in my backseat.” He said, his voice low and rumbly and making your core tighten. You flush and your eyes dart around the ambulance bay nervously before settling back on him. 
“I uh— I should go. Make sure her wife is okay, and everything.” You say, voice sad and regretful and you relish in the way his shoulders drop in disappointment. 
“Yeah, you should. I’ll see you around, though okay?” He asks, watching you start to back away to the sliding doors. You smirk. 
“I’ll drive a little bit faster these days then. Maybe you can give me a ticket or somethin’.” You smile and he threw his head back to let out a roaring laugh that echoes against the buildings around you. God, what you would give to drown in that sound. 
“I’ll be lookin’ forward to it, Doll.” His voice is low and you can feel your face heat up under his intense stare and nickname. 
“Me too, Officer.”
_____________________
It’s almost six hours later when Monica Lawson Danvers-Rambeau is brought into the world, Carol on the left side of Maria and you on the right. Monica is six pounds, 9 ounces of pure squealing baby and she is immediately the centre of the group's lives. The first baby to be born in the friend group warrants a few life-altering feelings one would think.  
It’s almost midnight, and you’re curled up in one of the armchairs pressed into the corner by the window, Monica asleep in your arms. Her eyelids flutter with her very first dream and your heart feels like it's going to explode with love when you let one gentle knuckle brush her cheek as light as a feather. You could have stared at her forever, and would have too if it wasn’t for the son knock from the open door only a few feet away. 
Officer Barnes stands there, a grey sweater and dark jeans adorning his body, his hair loose and tucked behind his ears and he has a pair of sunglasses to keep the rest of the strands from falling into his face. There's a large, colourful bouquet of tulips and sunflowers and babies breath in his arms and you nod your head to the table beside the bed holding the sleeping wives. You stand and walk over to him, Monica making a tiny, squeaking noise in your arms before settling back in, nuzzling her face deeper into your chest. Bucky’s heart swells at the sight. 
“How’re you?” He mumbles, eyes never leaving Monica. To think she was inside his car only a few hours ago trying to escape blew his mind. She was so quiet. So peaceful now. 
“I’m the best I’ve been in a long time.” You replied honestly. Life had always given you a rough hand, but this-this made everything worth it. 
“That’s great to hear.” He whispered, leaning against the doorframe. You turn your head to yawn and your eyes look impossibly heavy. 
“This is little Monica. You probably saved her life, you know. You got us here safe and sound. Thank you, Officer Barnes.” You hum, smiling softly, and Bucky can feel his heart rate double in pace. He clenches his jaw nervously before looking at you hopefully. The sight of his puppy dog eyes peeking through his long, dark lashes has your knees weak. 
“What d’you say I wait around for as long as you need and I drive you home. We can stop at some 24-hour diner and get coffee and breakfast— I haven’t eaten in a few hours and I would like to see you some more.”
You sucked in a breath through your nose and let it out of your mouth quickly. God, he really went for the kill, didn’t he? You’d be lying to yourself if you said coffee and a beautiful date didn’t sound like the best thing in the world right now. 
“The nurses are due to check up on us in a few minutes if you want to wait? I don’t wanna just leave them.” You mumble, blushing, nervous gaze softening when you look at the little pink bundle in your arms. 
“She loves you already.” He smiles, gently brushing one long, thick finger over the small tuft of curly hair. She looked so much like her mother. 
You smile up at him— a smile of mischief and confidence. “Well, what’s not to love, huh?”
Buckys eyes flick up to your own and your breath catches at the intensity of his stare. His moist, plump lips are turned into a small smile when he says “I can’t find anything that anyone wouldn’t.”
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steviemillcr · 4 years
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Hey is that [DIANA SILVERS]? No, that’s just [STEVIE MILLER]. They’re [TWENTY-FOUR], and have spent [ONE YEAR] in Dayton. I hear that they’re kind of [OPEN-MINDED], but also [COMPETITIVE]. Did you hear their vices are [VIDEO GAMES & ECSTASY]? Can’t wait to see [SHE/HER] at the next party!
full name: stevie monroe miller
nickname: mills . 
age: twenty-four
date of birth: nov 8th
place of birth: tampa, fl
zodiac: scorpio
gender: cis-female
nationality: american
sexual orientation: pansexual
romantic orientation: homoromantic
relationship status: single
PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES.
height:  5″7
weight: none of your business
hair color: brunette
eye color: hazel
need glasses/contacts? nope
tattoos/piercings: power button behind her right ear and a triforce on her left ankle. clit piercing
distinguishing marks: freckles.
BACKGROUND INFORMATION.
hometown: tampa, fl
current residence: dayton, ca
past residences: nyc, ny ( college )
living arrangement: apartment
spoken languages: english
financial status: average
education level: college; bachelors of fine arts ( graphic design ) 
occupation: youtuber / twitch streamer / freelance gd
FAMILIAL INFORMATION.
father: jason miller. 40.
mother: unknown
siblings: none.
children: none.
pets? black cat named felix
other: none.
PERSONALITY.
positive traits: open-minded, creative, honest, intuitive
negative traits: aimless, competitive, insensitive, finicky
likes: reds. oranges. warm colors. chocolate. morning dew. citrus. watercolor paper. flannel. hot chocolate. milk. white russians. legend of zelda. kirby. slasher films. the scream trilogy. serial killer documentaries. sketching. animal crossing. aqua. raves. ecstasy. sex. 
dislikes: blatant stupidity. button mashing. most rom coms. shitty headphones. asmr sounds. trolls. bein told what to do. campers. waking up early. high nasally voices. 13 yr old boys who talk shit. 
quirks: - coming soon - 
stevie is a fairly laid back individual. she grew up with thick skin and a sharp tongue. but underneath it all she’s not so bad. she comes off as closed off and introspective, which for the most part is true. she doesn’t just go up and start a conversation with a stranger unless she has a reason. she will sit and sketch one though.
online, she is much more extroverted. that’s not to say she feels safer there. more like she cares less. on one side, she knows the people she plays with are people-- but the fact she can simply shut off the game when she’s pissed and not have to explain or do shit? it’s much easier. she cares less what people may think of her which, wasn’t much to begin with.
she’s blunt. painfully so. to everyone. friend and stranger alike. though if you are a friend, she’ll find a way to apologize if she came off too harsh. she’s not afraid of being humbled and in fact appreciates it more than having things sugar coated.
She doesn’t go out of her way to be a bitch. sometimes it just happens.
she holds grudges. a. long. fucking. time. she still hasn’t fully forgiven her father/brother/jason for his betrayal even though she knows he was doing what he thought was best. 
when she’s on molly, stevie is a very different person. touchy feely lovey dovey. she’s a hot mess and she’s had her fair share of nights that left her in awkward positions.
Stevie isn’t shy about sex. Shell try just about anything once and she’s usually pretty good about keeping her feelings out of the equation. 
But hasn’t had a lot of great experiences in the bedroom. She knows it can be fun and it has been a handful of times, but more times than not, it’s just...something to do. That doesn’t mean she goes out and picks up people whenever she gets bored, but when she has an itch, she’ll scratch it and that’s all it usually is. An itch.
THE RUN DOWN.
was raised believing her father is actually her older brother
her grandmother raised her along side her father  brother in tampa, florida
the household was a close one and between her ‘mother’ and ‘brother’, she knew she was loved.
she was often the object of teasing in school. she was too odd or too mean. her mother was too spacey and her brother too hot. but she took it in stride, learning to weaponize her words ( and sometimes her fists ) and after a while, learned to ignore it, even when it got out she was pansexual and in love with her best friend
the feelings were unrequited, she made that clear, though her friendship only grew stronger
she went to nyc on scholarship, choosing graphic design as her major specializing in motion graphics
the stress of the work often left her zapped and working in a computer lab all night? not helpful. so when she had the chance to go out and party she would.
her fesitivities mostly consisted of underground / secret raves. the music, colors, and atmosphere did a lot for her. she kept things pretty tame, only drinking and smoking pot occasionally.
but when her mother passed, her world was flipped on its head. as per his mother’s dying wish, her brother came clean. he admitted that he allowed her to believe she was abandoned...unwanted by both parents, because lets face it, there was no way she was biologically her grandmother’s daughter. she spent her whole life believing she was forsaken and it was the one person she loved more than anything that let her
going back to school had been hard. she was angry. so so angry. and sad. her grandmother, the only mother she’d ever known was gone and her brother-- dad? she wasn’t talking to him. so she pushed. she worked harder and she played even harder
she took her first taste of ‘e’ three nights after arriving back in nyc and it was the most elevating thing she ever experienced. nothing in the world felt wrong. everything was amazing. more than that. exhilarating.
it became a regular thing, though she took care. only after her school work was done and her schedule was clear. what was the harm in it if she were careful? what was wrong with wanting to feel good, to erase that crippling anger just for a night?
when she finished school, she moved home. almost. she couldn’t go back to Jason, not even after two years. she loved him, yes. she appreciated his sacrifices, yes. but she couldn’t look at him, let alone forgive him. not yet. so she went to orlando to look for work.
the field was full of competition, which she often enjoyed but somehow she was getting lost in the shuffle. unmotivated. she got a few freelance things, but most of her time she spent online, chatting with friends from college or destroying teenage boys at call of duty. 
it got to a point she wasn’t leaving her apartment. she’d order food, do some minimal sketching and just...play.
it was a friend that suggested she make a youtube channel. she played enough and her perspective was nothing if not interesting...so she figured she may as well. youtube gave way to twitch and patreon and before she knew it she was receiving checks for fucking around online. not literally. well maybe once.
about a year ago, she came to dayton for a gaming convention. it was a small thing, targeted at twitch streamers. lots of big names in the game so of course she came. she just...decided not to leave.
she loved the chaos Dayton offered, their parties, and especially their molly. she doesn’t make it a habit but as her life continues to plateau, she keeps a regular stash to make things interesting.
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50 Meet-Cute Couple Stories That Will Make You Believe In Love Again 
New Post has been published on https://onlinedatingloves.com/awesome/50-meet-cute-couple-stories-that-will-make-you-believe-in-love-again/
50 Meet-Cute Couple Stories That Will Make You Believe In Love Again 
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1.I was waitressing, he came in all the time with his friends. Him and I became friendly, played jokes on each other, he grew to be one of my favorite regular customers.
Then, there were a few weeks when he didn’t is an indication at all, and I realized that I actually missed him. I didn’t have any of his contact details. I told myself that if he ever came back in, I needed to take the chance and ask him out.
Next night he came in, I guess we both had the same idea. He asked me before I could. I wrote my number down on a piece of receipt paper( which he still has ), we went out the next night, and we’ve been together ever since. He’s the love of my life.
2.Way back in 1980, I was working in south FL. A guy I worked with was retiring soon and had bought a vacation cabin in north GA. He showed me a picture of the cabin and posing in front was a dark haired beauty who he identified as his daughter. I remarked she was very attractive.
Forward a few weeks and he tells me the daughter had just broken up with her boyfriend, was in the dumps, and asked if I wanted to ask her out.
We went on a blind date, were married 2 years later, and now have three grown children and scheming where to go for our 37 th anniversary.
3.We were at a business networking event where the rule was that you were not allowed to buy drinks for yourself, whatever you bought you had to put it into someone else’s hand as an opener to dialogue. So this gorgeous brunette strolled up to me, put a gin-and-tonic in my hand, and introduced herself.
Hello, wife.
4.I considered him in the grocery store, and I thought he was handsome. I approached him in frozen foods as he was looking at a 5 lb. container of chicken nuggets. I asked if he was married, and when he said no, I asked if he would like to take me out some time. He set the bag of chicken nuggets on his head like he was about to pass out and we both chuckled. We are married with 4 year old twin boys now. :) 10/10 would recommend approaching a handsome stranger in the supermarket.
5.Soccer game. I was watching my good “girl friend” at the time play. Game ends and I go down to the field to congratulate her. Asked her where the other team was from, and I never heard of the place, so I said fuck it, went over to the cutest daughter on the other team, gave her my number, and here I am 4.3 years later with a girl I hope to marry. Having a pair of balls and saying fucking it can either pay off tremendously or back fire horribly.
6.I am a Match.com commercial for the wife. I had sent her a message after her account expired. She renewed her account, got my message, and 10 years later we are married with 3 kids and a dog.
7.We were both character musicians at Disney. We danced down the street together and couldn’t even ensure each other’s actual bodies at all, but the sweaty banter afterwards did it.
8.Online dating. Moved half-way across the country to be with her. I always wanted a nerdy-gamer daughter for a girlfriend and I got my wish.
Totally worth the move.
Cannot underline how fantastic online dating is to introverts, once you get over the ridiculous sum of rejection, and had recognized that patience is your friend, and lastly, learn to be honest and put endeavour into your messages/ profile.
9.OkCupid. After wafting through about 2 years of bullshit, failed dates, ghosting, etc I messaged this daughter. At that phase I was desensitized; why bother putting endeavour into your first message when 95% of daughters don’t reply?
I hit her with some genuinely corny father joke and she did answer and giggled. We got to talking, eventually agreed to meet up for a beer.
We agreed going in that we’d began with only a beer and lay everything out on the table. If either of us wanted to cancel the date we would , no hard feelings. A brew turned into two, was transformed into dinner. That turned into a second date, then a third. The first year was transformed into a second, then a third.
Now we’re engaged and simply booked a wedding venue.
10.That bitch t-boned me. She said she’d let me take her to dinner if we didn’t get the insurance involved. Having typed that out, I now ensure I get fucked that day on so many levels.
11.Worked together. I was supposed to have a party for all people at the job. My heat went out that day so I had to cancel. She didn’t get the message and presented up. Asked her if she wanted to take some shoots of of Jack Daniel’s and get “warm”. Twelve years later still taking shots and getting “warm” on a regular basis!
12.No idea where I got the nerve but she was sitting on a blanket alone watching a group of us doing medieval combat reenactments. Didn’t get a good look at her before I plopped down beside her and said hi. She turned and smiled and I immediately supposed,” Oh hell. She is way out of my league .” Turns out I get her on the rebound nearly 32 years ago. Still out of my league.
13.I was at a birthday party for a friend. He was the friend of my friend’s boyfriend. We hit it off right away.
14.We were both in a psychiatric hospital. We’ve been together almost 13 years. I was there for depression and anxiety, he was there to avoid a homeless shelter. I know it sounds crazy, but it kinda works out for us. We’ve gotten in a much better financial situation.
15.We met at a friend’s Halloween party- I have always been a huge Harry Potter fan, and of course, he was dressed as Harry Potter. The rest is history!
16.We all met up at the home of a mutual friend to go to a festival together. I arrived first and was told to open the door when she knocked. She saw me and said “You’re not mutual friend! ” We drunkenly hooked up at the party subsequently that night and are now merrily married with children.
17.I sat in the parking lot at a gas station. He parked his truck on the corner where you aren’t supposed to park. I screamed at him. We got married.
18.College! We had a few class together and he kept staring at me from afar. I went up to him one day and said hi, he fell the bagel he was feeing and I knew he had it bad for me. That was almost 9 years ago and we’ve been married for nearly 5 years. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me…
19.Reddit, actually! We were both active in a dating sub( a sub about a dating app , not a sub specifically for dating) which objective up creating a fitness challenge( members of the general notion began as, improve yourself so you can be a better partner and find someone !) We were placed in the same fitness group and genuinely hit it off. 3.5 years later, we’re planning our wedding.
20.On the train. He was on his style back from find a client, I was on my way back from working at a trade carnival. Neither of us felt especially like talking but somehow we didn’t stop talking once we started. We exchanged numbers and kept messaging/ talking backward and forward and started dating not quite a month subsequently. That fateful train ride was 4 years ago. We’ve been happy with each other( and uncharacteristically talkative around each other) ever since and got married last year.
21.First day of grad school, she was sitting behind me and I was typing on my iPad. She showed me that if I took two thumbs and slid them apart over the keyboard the keyboard would shift and I could use my thumbs easier to type. We are now happily married and typing on my iPad is much easier.
22.In the work infringe room. He was putting a Totinos party pizza in the microwave( poor college kid) and I was like, “Those don’t go in a microwave.” Married almost 12 years now, I’m still bossy but his cook abilities have improved.
23.I had a coworker who defined me up on a blind date with his sister in statute. It was a bbq at his house. When I got there, I saw this gorgeous female with an ass so fantastic it brought tears to my eyes. And speaking of eyes, hers were magical. So bright and when she smiles, her entire face illuminated up. Unfortunately this was his wife. Her sister was nice but not for me. I thought about the guys spouse almost every day. But I never acted on my feelings. A couple of years later, he got divorced and she called me. She had been thinking about me, too. We dated for 3 months and got married.
18 years later, still going strong. And dat ass … mmm mmmm mmm.
24.She was the first person to get in my taxi the first day I started driving cab. We’re still married 25 years later.
25.We both worked component hour at Macy’s while going to school. Unbeknownst to one another, we both had a rule of not dating anyone that we worked with. I casually knew her since she was a flyer and worked different departments, but I would find her every once in a while working the department that was on the way to the punch in/ out clock. One day, while entering the store for run, she was leaving and she tells me tomorrow is her last day. I asked for her number and we’ve been together ever since. That was back in 1985.
26.She worked at the cookie store in the mall, and I ran at a knife store nearby. I would close my store for hours on end to hang out with her.
27 . She was a personal shopper at Macy’s. My mom, appearing out for her son, told this really cute girl she was helping find a jacket for to” look up my son on facebook.’
Well, she did, and 6 years later( 2016) we got married, and my mommy died 6 weeks after our wedding. She was so proud of what she did. As we sit here expecting our first infant, I wish she was here every day. She would be so proud. I miss her so much.
28.Ok Cupid. First time I tried online dating, and I was the LAST person he tried fulfilling on online dating. I didn’t put a painting up, and “hes taken” a chance anyways. Married with a kid and a home 7 years later
29.We met at work and casually dated for a few weeks before I got really sick. I was hospitalized for a while and it was very traumatic. He insisted on remaining by my side throughout the whole ordeal, and we are merrily married 10 years later.
30.A few weeks after a really rough breakup my friends decided to take me out to cheer me up. I met my current SO at the bar that night and we hit it off. I aimed up taking him home that night supposing perhaps I just needed rebound sex( I had never taken a guy home from the bar prior to this ). He objective up texting me early the next morning and we’ve been inseparable ever since. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
31.I was unemployed and had a job interview in the city( NYC) and was a few mins early for my interview so I stopped by a Starbucks to get a beaker of coffee( I know Starbucks is terrible but I wanted a cold brew) while on line I noticed her but didn’t do anything because I was focused on this interview. Anyways she had an issue with her order and turned around and accidentally bumped spilled her coffee all over me, she apologized and offered to pay for my dry cleaning and we exchanged numbers and talked texting and objective up dating. Aimed up didn’t going to that interview but aimed up get a better task so is not merely did I get the girl I also got a job.
32.I’m a commercial airline pilot and she’s a flight attendant. We fulfilled working together years ago when I was first start now as a co-pilot.
I’m planning on retiring early in a few years, she quit her job about 5 years ago to stay home and take care of our kids.
We own a bed and breakfast out in northern California my spouse runs while I’m away, and I’m looking forward to retirement so I can spend more time with her and the kids and helping her operate the place.
33.I was enjoying a cigarette on the smoking deck( designated smoking area) when a girl “re coming out”, sat down and said, “God dammit, fuck this.” I told her to watch her mouth. She said, “Fuck you motherfucker, I can say whatever the fuck I want to say.” We have been married for 10 years last February.
34.My church choir( college freshmen congregation) had seven women in it. I was the only human. After our first performance in a service, a girl came up and asked me who I was, and complimented me on being brave enough to sing in front of everyone.
A few weeks later she’s leading a mid-week venerate thing, and asks if I could sing something solo. I tell her yes, but I require an accompanist. She says she plays piano. I already thought she was cute, but when she started playing at our run-through, I was so breath-taken I missed my entrance.
It took me a while to ask her out, but four years later, we’re blithely married.
35.We met on Neopets as kids and became best friends. Years afterward we realized we were both into daughters so it worked out perfectly and we’re engaged.
36.Staring at her boob to drive a pervert away.
So we were in stage crew in high school. There was a healthy divide of 40+ girls and 4-5 guys including me. There was a lot of flirting, and well … Just naughty behavior all around. Usually boundaries were well respected and everyone had a good time constructing sets and props.
My friend, the perv in this story, is annoying this daughter and I can see her inconvenience. I walk over and ask what he’s doing and she responds :P TAGEND
” He’s staring at my boob and he’s not allowed to !”
To which I answered,” Am I allowed to ?”
She said yes and I proceeded to enjoy the sight of her massive boobs for a few seconds until I watch him in peripheral walk away pissed off. Afterwards, I apologize for his behavior and go back to work. She started talking to me more and eventually we discovered ourselves in a relationship now going on 7 years this July!
37.The day I gratified my husband in a college acting class. Our first class ice breaker was to walk around, and every time the prof said stop we had to stare into the eyes of the person closest to us.
We did this for 5 rounds. Guess who I had to stare at all five times?
We somehow got partnered up for our final acting scene despite not picking each other. We practiced for a few weeks and got to know each other and started going on dates after that. By the time we finished the class we were all over each other.
38.The scene: a shitty three tale home with a sinking floor supported by a makeshift pillar in the basement. Every surface is sticky.
I’m in the back, taking a break from my friends in the midst of a small party. I love them deep but also really wanted everyone to just sort of disappear for a little while. You know, how you usually feel on a Friday night that feels exactly like the last two dozen Friday nights.
I needed someone to complain to about how much I disliked everyone else at the party at that moment. Assure a cute redhead I vaguely recollected from one class and was drunk enough to launch into a little ranting without much of an introduction. Turns out she need to rant too.
39.First class on my first day in college, I see this beautiful girl waiting outside my class for the professor to unlock the door, and realise I have to be with her.
We started dating after a few weeks, and are married now.
Love at first sight.
40.We met at work! We get hired 6 months apart to design bridges and neither of us had ever designed a bridge before, although we had all the needed qualifications to make our boss believe we were capable of learning this.( In other terms, we were both fresh out of engineering grad school and had a strong background in analysis .)
Our desks were side by side, and we liked each other immediately. Our dynamic was very much” office spouse/ office spouse “. It stayed like that for two years. He was very good at designing bridges, as it turned out, and moved up speedily. I was merely ok at designing bridges, and was not moving up, so I took a chore in a different department( thankfully, I have moved up well here ), and after I left, we realized we missed each other, and started dating.
We live together now, and couldn’t be happier.( He still designs bridges .)
41.College my sophomore year. I was on the men’s lacrosse squad and she was on the women’s lacrosse team. It was the first week of school( I only transferred from another college) and I was sitting with a few people at lunch. She strolled in and I asked my friends who she was and they let me know. I said ” I’m going to end up marrying that daughter .” She had a BF of 5 years( afterward found out that he was a dick) at the time and some guy that plainly liked her said ” good luck trying to get that …” She eventually sat down at the same table as me and we chatted. Apparently one of the other girls on her squad let her know what I said about marrying her later that day. I received a text a few hours later from a random number and it was her. That’s where it all started. We were very good friends for a while and she eventually aimed things with her bf and we started dating a few months later. We have been together for 6 years and we are getting married next year.
42.She sat down next to me on the first day of grad school. We both were into Neil Gaiman and Modern Poetry. I let her borrow the first few trades of The Sandman.
After that we started hanging out more, I demonstrated her around the city( she was from out of township ). Bought her a develop pass with $20 on it, but I was slacken to make a move. If it wasn’t for her roommate saying,” Dude, guys don’t buy develop pass for you if they don’t like you ,” we might not be together.
Been together 7 years.
43.She was my waitress when I was out with some friends. I left my number( first and only time ever) she called and 19 years later we are still together.
44.I was really into Scott Pilgrim vs The World when it came out in theaters when I was in high school. Bought all the graphic fictions, find it 4 times in theaters, bought the soundtracks, and bought the video game when it came out. I was obsessed.
After classes aimed and as I would stroll to the bus, I noticed on occasion this daughter walking down the dorms wearing a Scott Pilgrim shirt. I had to meet this girl!
Well the day came during a field trip to Gettysburg and there she was wearing the shirt. I get so nervous, had to work up the heroism, and she was also with a friend who is best friend’s with my previous girlfriend. Oh boy this was going to be tough.
Ended up not being too bad. I asked her the obvious question if she was a Scott Pilgrim fan and we hit it off from there surprisingly. Even more a coincidence, when we got to the buses, all I wanted to do was talk to her more about Scott Pilgrim and we didn’t because she sat next to her friend but she was a seat behind me, this entire field trip. It was destiny.
Anyways we’re close to 8 years strong together and will watch Scott Pilgrim once a year.
45.We fulfilled online on this is something that cringey anime-themed roleplay website and have been together for 4 years and married now. We try to forget about the site but some times we reminisce and wince together.
46.His mothers bought the house next to my grandparents home when his mommy was pregnant with him and I was two. I assume that I satisfied him when he came home from the hospital? It’s not something I recollect, he’s just always been a part of my life.
There was a period of time where we hadn’t seen each other for over eight years, and one night I was Facebook stalking a second cousin of mine and my old childhood friend’s mommy popped up! Through her I detected him, reached out, and within three months we were dating. Next month we celebrate our third marriage anniversary.
47.We were in the same class for a program for people on welfare.
Soon after the conflicts aimed, I determined a task in the city. I recommended that she apply since we were still hiring, and she got hired too! Not soon after that, I helped her out by letting her know my home had a room open to rent( 1 house 5 bedrooms, I was a tenant ), and she moved in. I wasn’t seeking any kind of relationship with her.
One day I heard her chuckling while watching Youtube and it was the most beautiful and genuine laugh. I thought to myself “fuck”. A couple weeks later we were watching Stranger Things and we started holds hands and cuddling.
We’re getting married next year
48.Technically we shared a hospital room at birth. Both our moms were stuck together. My mom is his aunt’s best friend( 20+ years ). The session we remember came subsequently. About 6 years old. I told him he was ” super duper handsome” and leaned in to kiss him because I’d seen it on a show. He kicked me in the vagina and ran away.
The boy aimed up chasing me for years. We ultimately started dating at 18 and now 10 years and 2 beautiful sons later, we are still going strong!
49.In a hot tub. I was about 14 and her best friend was dating my best friend. I set my limb around her and said ” do you come here often ?” Knowing it was an extremely cheesy pickup line. Now, about 16 years later, I still use that line on her when she’s in the bathroom, in bed, in the kitchen…
50.I was very drunk at a house party in college and was building my way to the bathroom to run throw up when I insured a girl who just lost a drinking game, and had to chug a beaker of a bunch of different alcohols. She was like she actually didn’t want to, and I figured since I was going to go throw up anyway, I might as well do it.
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Read more: thoughtcatalog.com
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innisffree-blog · 7 years
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2016
beginning: 2016 is shiny and new tommy and special k and liam--we drink tea and cuddle sem2 begins, ugh I dislike physics i dislike class idislike work (sorting leaves, grinding dirt) BUT there is late night penguin sliding in the arb, loitering about town, Sammy slamma jamma I grow closer to the mounge people
we are so annoying and terrible as a group (sd io kds sm nm sp sb pl. nb. ss jp ck. ns sd sk sh ab. etc etc) but I like being a part of this and being emancipated from the cove, an increasingly toxic place Lovely lovely people but I think glory hates me and this is an internal barrier i hate physics i dislike class i hate work (I’m not getting paid for this shit wtf) but i keep going bc “It’s all about the experience.” -Sujay Sarah + wilbur, I do not like wilbur for many reasons. i start to feel weird about sarah, my sister figure. she didn’t even tell me. glory definitely hates me, no one wants to own up to it barrier grows: • the fucking tshirts
• the special fucking breakfast club • the fucking group message barrier grows, I shrink. trying to claw my way out. took a risk, made a mistake (to be cont.) 
soc anx creeps back in at increasing pace I am failing physics. v day song with Nathan is a seemingly insignificant bright point dark point=all the hours I spent sorting dirt in the lab and the horror and embarrassment that is being a lowly freshman in research time goes on soccer I want to be friends with grace and Hannah etc!! Talk with grace and jon before we all move out and they were like duh we felt the same about you and this makes me disappointed and pleased at the same time, there is hope for next year w these cool people (I’ve regressed to having friend crushes) passed physics, passed everything, survived the anxiety attacks, goodbye for now umich, lessons learned jeez sem2=done, year1=done bordines! I like it there, watering flowers and rescuing snails for money. FL Cameron hates me fr now. Still don’t know why. Picnic w Mack to get back in the groove of clarkston life, she has changed a bit ROCK CAMP ROCK CAMP ROCK CAMP 
(june 10 - july 10) I meet ~22 strangers in an Ann Arbor ally and we depart for Wyoming. After 3 days of driving, we arrive as a family. I love it already, minus the altitudesickness. we laugh a lot and have a good time in the mountains. i like these people a lot but especially Brady and jack b and ***MERYN WHIMSY CAMPBELL*** she is a jewel, she is a ray of sunshine, she is a princess in overalls. why did I try to reject her at first? she is so generous with her love that I couldn’t keep her out. I learned the biggest lesson of 2016 from her and she doesn’t even know it. climb a giant loaf of bread in the middle of the night to see the moonrise, barefoot & blind & by myself, a “risky bitch” -Loafie Sutz I see my shadow miles away in the sunrise on that spire thing 3 weeks in: kinda blow up and leave, walk into the wilderness by myself (bad) and swim to an island where I climb a big boulder and make new friends. I calm down. The Grand Nips are the most beautiful place I have ever spent a month, but I never want to see another minivan in my life. I (Pepino) feel at home outside. Caterpillar fights, bfast burritos, stars. Don’t want to leave. back to Michigan to rot. Try to go to mopop with Alaina but sell my ticket to sean during unnecessary study visit to A2 for the class I eventually drop out of. Sushi with sarah (sarah - Wilbur = i’m so happy abt this event that breaks her heart, I am a selfish friend) Calc ii eats me alive, I give up. More rotting. pentwater w fam, Meryn shows up. golf ball incident: I let myself blow up at dad, but Lauren is there and Alan is there and I come back feeling stronger. more rotting in clarkston. sem3! year2! I’m a mentor! so good to see everyone, I begin to appreciate Nicco a lot, become good friends with kastriot (another jewel) and others (matt and jon, etc), trash candy in nicco’s room and HOLY SHIT I love Alex so much, she is another sister figure. It's foreign to have friends who are girls. so excited abt life in mrc, living with Sarah is good and bad. happy. CONFIRMED(co Nicco): glory hates me EXPLANATION: im too friendly(?????) stumble upon ivy and shouri and keilah and I learn more abt this, they hate glory now, I fucking won the battle w my patience and kindness lolol (I hope she's moved on, I feel neutral about her)(drama is foreign to me) get rejected from EH Things are good, hanging out w old crew and rock camp ppl and the boy who i Like and needs to stop acting as though he Likes me too, v misleading sean’s bday @ the trap house / wolf shirts Housing 2017 is a mess, I am a mess :’| this issue is the tip o' the yikesburg FALL BREAK oct 15 -going up to backpack at pictured rocks with camp ppl, but I realized that I don’t rlly fit w them and also they are s l o w so I split and hike alone for 13 miles in one day, oct 16 ****this is the best day of my life**** screaming and yelling out to Lake Superior in pure joy almost falling off the cliff, seeing aaron on the trail, passing the starburst men, getting lost in a soggy forest after dark (kept my cool), getting picked up by Alan: muddy, bleeding, sweaty, thirsty, wielding a knife (Pepino the Risky Bitch™ is back) high on the sublime beauty of oct 16, 2016 oct 17 - study day, drive around Marquette with my boy tommy, climb around on an abandoned aqueduct, talk about life/love. I am so grateful for this brother of mine. oct 18- south! Pasties are gross oct 19 - bad stats test (50%) (how am I this dumb?) (everything is bad again) (this is the beginning of the descent) I stop going to class bc I can’t get out of bed. I haven’t seen my friends in forever. I don’t have friends anymore. I am trapped in my room/head. I want to die. Dropping orgo Failing stats Dropping/failing friends I want this to end. I want to jump out the window of 479 jo and fall like that raven off the cliffs. I want to pull a Chris McCandless, but I don’t have a car. Alex makes everything better by not telling me that everything is going to get better. she’s been there, she’s failed. I love having her around. Bond with tim and eduardo (woops) and alec and jiten at Chris’s house, but sober erin remembers the barriers I’ve lived on this earth for two whole decades!!(Failed a test on the same day) sad bday churros w Lauren, spent the night on the floor at her place. Meryn brought me oranges and a book about glaciers <33 seds is taking up too much of my time but it’s kinda nice. stubborn boy named haydar tries to bring me pad thai and I say no but we become pen pals anyway, now he knows too much. a good character in my life. Nicco takes an absolute SHIT on me - with one statement he discredits all the friendships I thought I had at umich. It isnt a big deal to him, it’s in the past, but it isn’t for me. barrier is complete. The ghost of glory lives on. Same day- Lauren storms out (why doesn’t she want equality??? I thought she had changed) and Kastriot picks up the pieces Time goes on, erin fails stats sem3=done, but a waste of time/resources. I hate myself. Clarkston grandma is drunk and sad Alan is there with Lauren I am kind of there pickling eggs w Mack– I still love her but man oh man she has changed Royal w tommy and nick new years at konrad’s abandoned ghost house, liam dangles me over possibly the last of the giant ass bonfires, graffiti in the barn loft. learned some stuff about konrad, but he is truly a starfish among urchins. Faith in friendship is restored by him and others and myself. I think I’ll stop hating myself now. 2017 will be shiny and new end
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racingtoaredlight · 4 years
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The degenerate’s guide to college football TV watch ‘em ups, 2019 season, week 11
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I typed “Bama LSU” into tumblr’s gif search and this was the only result. I take it as a representation of my flawless technique as a writer.
Let’s see if I have the heart or interest to write anything worthwhile below. I’ve probably already done the best work possible in this world. FBSchedules and Vegas Insider are supporting this post materially, unwitting yet they be.
Saturday, November 9
Matchup                                          Time (ET)                     TV/Mobile
Vanderbilt at 10 Florida                  12:00pm                         ESPN
This doesn’t belong on television. This is not the kind of thing people should waste their lives on and I mean that for the players and coaches.
4 Penn State at 17 Minnesota         12:00pm                         ABC
Gophers +6.5 is an absolutely sure thing. It’s either that or there is no god. You can only choose one.
WKU at Arkansas                             12:00pm                       SECN
Have you guys followed the whole Deadspin saga from the last few weeks? My favorite part was that Maidment guy that set the whole cycle in motion and then had to write a bunch of shitty content himself to make the site look sort of normal after everybody quit. I laughed heartily at his horrible writing but I can’t help feeling I’m that kind of brainless dummy clacking away at a company laptop to produce as little impact as possible with my unoriginal words. Anyway, enjoy this version of the Petrino Bowl.
UMass at Army                                  12:00pm                       CBSSN
Army is favored by 34.5. Army is fucking awful. It’s insane that UMass has a win over an FBS team this season. Once you get blown out by UConn, people forget all about your big win over Akron. Anyway, take UMass to cover because, as many are saying, Army is fucking awful.
Purdue at Northwestern                    12:00pm                       BTN
As today’s contemporary children are quite fond of saying, it’s gonna be a no from me, dawg.
Texas Tech at West Virginia              12:00pm                      ESPN2
Long gone are the days of Holgo and... the guy that coaches the Cardinals now. They both used shitty seasons to get better money this year. So now Texas Tech vs. West Virginia is just bland gruel hardly fit for a shithead on his couch.
Maryland at 1 Ohio State                   12:00pm                       FOX
We’re into the BCS rankings part of the season so now Ohio State is ranked #1, which I mostly agree with. I still hope they lose way more often than not but I’m sort of ambivalent here. Last year Maryland fucked up and blew a great chance to upset Ohio State and I watched it with friends who are not football degenerates a day or two after our friend’s funeral. On that note, Ohio State -44 is a strong recommend.
Florida State at Boston College        12:00pm                      ACCN
A week ago I would not have guessed FSU could fuck themselves so thoroughly against Miami that they’d be playing with an interim head coach this week. The rumor mill for the permanent hire in Tallahassee is hilarious: Nick Saban, Urban Meyer, Bob Stoops, Jim Leavitt and Deion Sanders. The nicest thing I saw about Deion’s resume was that he was the OC for a high school in Texas a few years ago. I don’t think that was his sham unaccredited school. That school was in Florida, wasn’t it? That’s quite the resume to put up against the other four. Coach Deion is a dream we can all have.
East Carolina at 25 SMU                     12:00pm                     ESPNU
Condolences to SMU as Memphis didn’t continually shoot themselves in the dick like they normally do in high profile games. This should be a good bounceback game but the action on the line (moving 3 points towards ECU) tells me people didn’t really think that much of SMU in the first place.
12 Baylor at TCU                                  12:00pm                        FS1
I honestly don’t have any sort of read on whether Baylor’s 8-0 record is because they’re back to being good or if they’ve just feasted on mostly shitty teams. Which I guess is all they ever did under Briles, anyway. Well, TCU sucks this year so I’m not really excited to check in on this one unless there’s an exciting finish like TCU is driving with under a minute to score their 10th TD of the day before time expires to seal the shutout.
Georgia Tech at Virginia                       12:30pm                       RSN
For as long as I live, I will only ever think of the 1990 game between these two whenever they match up.
Air Force at New Mexico                    Postponed
This game is postponed due to the death of UNM defensive end, Nahje Flowers. R.I.P.
UTSA at Old Dominion                          2:00pm                        ESPN3
South Alabama at Texas State              3:00pm                        ESPN3
Charlotte at UTEP                                   3:00pm                       ESPN+
Stanford at Colorado                              3:00pm                     Pac-12N
19 Wake Forest at Virginia Tech            3:30pm                       ACCN
If VPISU hadn’t fucked it at the end against Notre Dame last week they’d probably be ranked ahead of Wake Forest. After Wake Forest loses this week, the boys from VPI might actually jump over them, anyway.
USC at Arizona State                               3:30pm                        ABC
Now this is more like it! I don’t mean this game is interesting for watchin’ ‘em up or gambling, but the part where both teams are unranked and struggling. USC just hired a new AD from Cincinnati and he... knows Urban Meyer? Or the draw of being from UC will be just too much for Urban to resist? Or Urban picked the guy himself as a condition of considering coaching in the Coliseum? Still seems less than done to me but I’m still holding out hope that Urban Meyer never coaches again and his family leaves him.
Louisville at Miami (FL)                            3:30pm                      ESPN2
Still fading The U for now. The 9 sacks and the easy win over FSU were nice but FSU hasn’t had a good offensive line since Jameis Winston won the Heisman and things are in a bit of disarray there. Louisville is a better team than most people realize and they’ll run straight at Miami instead of whatever the FSU gameplan was last week. Things may have turned a corner in Coral Gables but I’m inclined to believe the biggest leap they made last week was beating up on a familiar foe who is very down in the dumps and ready to quit at a moment’s notice.
UAB at Southern Miss                               3:30pm                       NFLN
UAB failed us big time last week and now they’re a road underdog. I didn’t realize the Favres had crawled back to being decent. I don’t have a take on the line but this is probably the best game that’s been stuck on NFL Network so far this year.
Georgia Southern at Troy                          3:30pm                      ESPN+
Each year I struggle to remember which one is Georgia Southern and which one is Georgia State and each year I fail to attempt to fix that.
UConn at 20 Cincinnati                              3:30pm                    CBSSN
UC on UC - it’s gonna be a bloodbath! The Ohesians are only favored by 34 against the sad huskies. That seems like a slap in the face to any reasonably well prepared football program, let alone a top 25 one.
Illinois at Michigan State                            3:30pm                       FS1
Illinois is a half game up on Sparty right now and rumors are flying that D’antonio is gonna retire after the season. Now, let’s go kill Tom Izzo. Michigan State is favored by 14.5 in this game and, seriously, can they even score that much in one game? Take the Illini and know that you’re on the side of good even if your bets don’t come through.
2 LSU at 3 Alabama                                     3:30pm                     CBS
Weeks of press for this GAME OF THE CENTURY OF THIS YEAR THIS WEEK and then the BCS poll comes out and it isn’t even a real 1 v. 2 matchup. That’s funny. I keep waiting for something to go wildly wrong with LSU but also feel like Bama being favored by a touchdown seems off, especially if Tua is at less than full operational capacity.
16 Kansas State at Texas                            3:30pm                   ESPN
I’ve thought Texas was overrated all year and look at them now. Favored by 7 at home against a better team. Even unrated Texas is somehow still overrated.
18 Iowa at 13 Wisconsin                              4:00pm                    FOX
This has all the makings of a great all-time eyerake. Wisconsin -9 seems absolutely insane but so does Wisconsin #13.
New Mexico State at Mississippi                4:00pm                   SECN
A classic rivalry game.
North Texas at Louisiana Tech                    4:00pm              Facebook
A spirited game between the 096ers and the Karl Malone Got His 13-Year Old Cousin Pregnant While He Was In School Heres always gets the blood pumping.
Georgia State at ULM                                    5:00pm               ESPN+
ESPN+ games don’t count as watch ‘em ups. Does anybody in the comments actually pay for this shit? It seems insane. $8/month for access to 30 For 30 that you effectively already have and the + is the absolute worst filth college sports can throw at you.
FIU at Florida Atlantic                                   6:00pm              Stadium
Really have no idea what to tell you. I think I understand both of these teams and then I’m proven wrong week after week. I’m rooting for FIU if that helps.
Appalachian State at South Carolina           7:00pm             ESPN2
South Carolina is favored by 5.5. That’s more than the homefield bump. Does App State run the same offense as Georgia where the QB isn’t allowed to throw past the line of scrimmage and running backs are encouraged to run straight into the backs of their offensive linemen?
Missouri at 6 Georgia                                     7:00pm              ESPN
Hey, speaking of Georgia! They don’t get nearly enough credit for being the worst team in America to watch for entertainment purposes. It’s like Kirby Smart is trying to take all of the late career criticism that Mark Richt faced at UGA and The U and reach the same end point by the time he’s coached four season in Athens.
Utah State at Fresno State                             7:00pm            CBSSN
Jordan Love. I just don’t know. He’s like a more careless version of Josh Allen. Is somebody really going to draft that in the first round? He has a year of eligibility left. I don’t know if he’s due to graduate in time but if he could find his way to Missouri that might really benefit both parties.
Washington State at California                       7:00pm           Pac-12N
A fine specimen of Pac-12 After Dark but only like 8% of the country can even watch it legally.
15 Notre Dame at Duke                                    7:30pm            ACCN
On a positive note, whatever happens in this game we can all laugh at the losers.
Liberty at BYU                                                   7:30pm          ESPNU
Bergie’s Watch ‘Em Of The Year!
Tennessee at Kentucky                                    7:30pm           SECN
Let’s go whiskey!
5 Clemson at NC State                                      7:30pm            ABC
Clemson is outside looking in at the CFP! Panic! They’ll be #3 next week!
Iowa State at 9 Oklahoma                                 8:00pm           FOX
In the parlance of our times, Iowa State is a messy bitch who loves drama. Will the Sooners get bailed out if things are tight at the end? Absolutely. But I would still put a dime or even a quarter on the Cyclones to keep it closer than 14.5.
Wyoming at 22 Boise State                              10:15pm          ESPN
I think if I surveyed the commenterate here they mostly hate Boise State and that tells me you’re a bunch of idiots. A nothing program rising like they did without a Phil Knight or an oil magnate backing them and they play their home games at night on blue turf? How do you joyless pricks live with your humorless brains? I fucking love MWC football and I love the blue turf. This is a great game. Long live the Potatoes.
 Nevada at San Diego State                               10:30pm         ESPN2
The real late night games are all MWC this week and that is fucking beautiful. Just look at this. SDSU was ranked last week but then we switched over to CFP rankings and those pricks couldn’t just give us one more group of five school. Nuhvaddduh is OK this year and SDSU isn’t quite rolling up the rushing yards they have for the past five years so maybe this will be entertaining even beyond the pretty laundry?
San Jose State at Hawaii                                 11:00pm    Spectrum Sports
I don’t actually know what Spectrum Sports is now that I think about it. This is, on paper, a pretty even matchup. If you want to keep yourself occupied into the early morning hours, SJSU at +7 seems a decent value in these here puffy, darkened eyes.
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