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#the anger of multiple lifetimes

muttfangs · 1 year

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huuooogghHHH UHHH SO... I got a notification on my old ass email address that my 16 year anniversary (fuckin. christ) for livejournal happened and I VISITED THE LIVEJOURNAL..........READING POSTS FROM PAST ME IS LIKE LOOKING INTO A DISTORTED FUNHOUSE MIRROR FROM AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION............................................................................... ...HELLO...???????????????????????????

#sweet fancy moses what the fuck lmao #its so weird. its so foreign and yet familiar bc this feels like it took place five lifetimes ago #also it was a reminder of how internally homophobic and uh. not terrific of an adolescent I was #you could tell I was on 4chan a lot bc the posts above this one are Vitriolic and I say 'fag' among other things often #I called my ex boyfriend a fag out of anger multiple times in these entries lol #he was fuckin mean but like. so was I idk #I had a fucked up and weird childhood and you can tell #but this entry was very tame and it also featured some cute artwork from past me haha #barking into the void #me

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appleblueberry-pie · 2 months

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Explaining your First Love to the Yandere's

A/N: "The Yandere's", meaning as many yandere's i think I can characterize as yandere's as perfectly as possible without burning myself out. Also, are the pictures too much?????? Also, I couldn't find a good pic for Sugu without picking the one where he's literally going insane LMAOOO. Love how my semi-debut for my yandere characterization for him is shown w a not so pleasant picture of him(they're all perfect). Anyways, this is probably gonna be my most chaotic, yet organized, post about jjk ever. I have a solid plan and will go through with it. It's friday and this is me "letting loose" before the weekend. Also, the first love story will be pulled from my own experience. With multiple twists to it to make it sound as interesting as possible.

SCENARIO:

"Mmmm. I remember my first love." You hum in a pleasant tone as you start to reminisce events of who you first gave your heart to. "I loved him so much, it was insane. Because....we grew up with each other. We used to be like this." You twist your fingers together, smiling at him as you explain. "He was an embodiment of me, as I was of him. I don't remember a time we weren't friends. I think it helps to mention that our mom's were friends and they were neighbors. So....we've always known each other. He's a year older than me."

You two were out in the park on the grass. He suggested a little picnic together, hoping to bring you two closer so he could possibly make more moves to be more than a friend. But you were so oblivious to it, even going as far as talking of your first love as if you still missed this stupid asshole.

"I still miss him." You go silent for a few seconds and stare down at the checkered blanket, smiling. He gapes a little and resists the urge to scoff. "We both loved playing video games, we watched the same tv shows, went to the same elementary school....a lot of things happened between us. He didn't like me back, though. I confessed to him when I was 9 and he said no." You laugh. "But even then, I still loved him. I still feel it, too. For some reason, my love for others doesn't really go away. Just sits at the bottom of my heart to make more room for others."

You sigh and continue talking about the guy. "He just grew more and more....attractive as I grew up. I am pretty sure he's why I have my type that I have in men currently. He's very tall....a deep voice." You sigh, closing your eyes to remember. "Relaxed, closed off.....I heard him on the phone when our moms were talking a month ago. He sounds....so different. I don't even know what I'd do with myself if I saw him again." In real time, he watched you unravel slowly to show how.....inf*tuated you were with this guy. You were so focused on naming his qualities. As if you could picture him perfectly in your mind.

"I'm so glad we don't talk to each other anymore. I ruined our relationship. Said a few inappropriate things I shouldn't have said at the wrong time. I haven't spoken to him in....6 years. And I'd rather it stay that way, honestly. Because he's a rather boring person outside of his physical attributes. But I have attachment issues." You pick up one of the snacks laid out between the two of you. "Yeah. I'm done talking about him. I would rather not think of him anymore."

YANDERE REACTIONS:

Sukuna:

Sukuna was baffled. Anger, frustration, fear, and even jealousy kept his tongue from moving. He thought this moment wouldn't ever happen in his life. He thought this wasn't a possibility. Your extreme disloyalty to him was what made him clench his hands in anger. But if he rationally thought about this, you don't know. You don't know how much he loves you. How much the Ryomen Sukuna loves you. You were supposed to be his in all lifetimes. He felt like he absolutely knew you were pure. You smelled pure and your energy felt pure when he first met you. So why were you fixing your mouth to say such disgusting and unfaithful words to him as if he wasn't right there?

He wanted to ask you if you've been trying to give yourself to him like a whore, but he knew that was just him overreacting. He wouldn't ever say such things to you, anyways. He wanted to change for you and was trying, starting with these stupid little date settings he knew you loved. A fucking park. And here he was being stabbed in the chest multiple times without your knowledge of it. It was all your doing.

He might be human in this lifetime. He might be nothing but a mere human for you to toy with freely, and he would let you do it to him. But he would never allow a puny roach get in the way of getting what he deserves. He deserves you and he will have you, one way or another. And if that means cutting a small piece of your heart out just to keep the rest, then so be it. He can't have any piece of you in him. Just thinking about him makes another vessel pop in his body somewhere. He will kill this thing.

Kento:

Maybe he was overbearing. He really just couldn't help but feel insecure. There should be no real reason for you to bring up a man from the past. Someone that should clearly be out of your mind. Was he boring? What did that fool have that he didn't? And why did you mention it while you two were on this date??(It wasn't a date, but it felt like it to him) Maybe he was too plain. Men like him were just smokers and loners, of course you'd bring up someone else that can satiate your desire for real love. It's all because he couldn't. Not in the way you want to be loved.

But he knew, he knew that he was enough. He knew he was your type as well, so, what did you mean by he was the type you have in men?? What does that mean for him? Will you use him and throw him away? He doesn't want to be used and tossed out like trash. He wanted to be yours forever. He wanted to be your man. Your man. He wanted to be your lover, your obsesser and the one you obsess over, not that imbecile. He wanted to be skin to skin, he wanted to be under your skin, he wanted to make his mark on you and for you to do the same to him. He deserves your love. But here you are expressing it for another man you haven't even spoken to in over 6 years. He deserves that type of commitment, there's nothing he's done to deserve it this late.

"I love you." The words slip out like oil on water. And it makes his heart oh, so much lighter.

Suguru:

"Heavens. I'm glad you aren't talking with him now." Suguru chuckles and shakes his head, peeling off more strawberry leaves for you. "This is why." He points with the strawberry at the people walking past and then gives you the strawberry. "This is why I don't want you talking with them. They do this to hold you in their clutches, I've seen it." Suguru sighs as he recalls your story in his mind. Jesus, was it trying to hypnotize you? If so, it was working. No worries, it won't be around to mess with your mind much longer.

"They actively lie, they laze around, let their emotions control them, and then try to manipulate you to stay with them to be their stepping stool." He brushes your hair back neatly, and you scrunch your eyebrows at his words. "But I know you're better than him. Better than all of them." He calls out your name and stares into your eyes with a look that makes you flustered. What is his problem?

"You are the light. You are one of the most strongest and intelligent sorcerers I have seen of this time. You hold up your potential and continue to blow my mind with how beautiful your soul is. I am constantly drawn to you and your energy, I never get enough of it. I don't ever want to hinder you and I don't want anyone else to hinder your energy. That's why I will kill that filthy animal that tried to touch you." It's scary, the way he maintains eye contact with you and spits the nastiest insult about the man you once loved with your whole heart.

"I can't wait to get to know you better. You've been teaching me so much. Maybe you can tell me about your favorite nature spots and we can relax there whenever you're free. And sometime later, I could also take you to meet my family. You'll love my two daughters." He laughs lightly, knowing Nanako and Mimiko would adore finally having a real mother worth of raising them. Together, you and him would be unstoppable.

Choso:

Choso was finished with peeling the mandarin for you. You kind of were confused about how he went about doing this, though. Because all over his lap were the smallest bits of mandarin peels you've ever seen. But the mandarin looked perfect. He obviously took his time. He handed it to you softly, smiling. You accept it happily and begin peeling.

He was surprised he didn't rip the thing apart then and there. Maybe be should peel things more often. The way you so freely spoke about your love for another man when your soulmate was sitting right next to you, peeling fruit open for you was preposterous. He needed a hug. A lemonade, had to kill someone, something. But he stopped killing people for you(secretly), so he has to resort to acting like he's peeling off that devil's skin. Starting from where the shiny skin first shows. The first piece is always the hardest to pick off and it's hard to choose where to begin. But soon enough, the color underneath began to show. He slowly picked off every. Little. Piece. He heard a yelp of pain and cries of "sorry's" in his head for every piece.

Every single little piece made the air smell more and more sweet and tangy. The more you spoke, the faster he picked. The stronger the smell was. So citrus-y and delicious. It made him smile. He loved peeling this mandarin. Then picking off white strips connected to the mandarin itself, so that it was smoother and you had no access peel. Like veins, they came off one by one. He simply stared at it when he was done. Smooth, perfect. Scattered remains laying everywhere on his lap.

He's never felt this way before. What were you doing to him? What is this twisting feeling in his gut that makes him want to puke? Why can't he breathe? Why does he want to kill the kids and mothers at the playground not too far away? He needs you to calm him down.

He hates this park.

"Here you go, angel." He hands it to you, smiling. You looked a little confused at first, but then took it from him, opening it to take a slice. "Oh, this looks real nice, Cho. ......Why are you smiling like that?" He shrugs, picking up one of the strawberries you brought from your place. "Like what...?"

Toji:

Toji was silent. The awkward silence he was creating between the two of you made you nervous. He was sitting close to you, leaning over to you, his arm supporting his weight behind your back with your shoulder touching his chest. He was just staring down at the bowl of strawberries. ".....Toji?" Your soft voice made him sigh.

No, he couldn't do it. Killing you won't kill the pain and anger in his chest. This was probably the angriest he's ever been. He wanted to shout at you to apologize for how you were making him feel. But what he really wanted was to feel your lips on his and for you to shut the fuck up. For some reason, every time you open your mouth, it always ends with him degrading further and further off the side of sanity and just going completely ballistic.

You saw his hand on his hip. The hip that wasn't actually his hip, but was his gun he was resting his hand on. He would feel so much better if those shrieking rats would shut up. Fucking rodents running around you two freely like he wasn't about to ruin everyone's day.

He wouldn't say he was often traumatized, but he could've went his whole life without hearing that story. Now he has to find a random man and kill him for stealing your heart. I mean, the least the bastard could've done was reciprocate his feelings and not leave you feeling helpless. "I could treat you better than that dick." You flinch at his words before smiling, averting your gaze as well. "Oh....." He leans in closer to your face. "Where does he live, huh? Is it the prick with the glasses?" "No?" "The one you work with?" "I-I told you I haven't-" "Eh, whatever. I'll find him and kill him." He smiles at your bashfulness and grabs a few strawberries from the patch.

Sometimes he forgets you don't care much for how he says things. If the right message gets across, you usually don't mind how he says it. But he just blatantly threatened to kill him. You grab the leafless strawberries from his hands and begin eating. Nah. You were his, for sure. He sighs and lays down on the blanket, staring up at the blue sky.

Satoru:

Satoru nodded along with your words, his hands trembling. When you smiled, he did. When you sighed, he would, too. And when you finished your story, he had to swallow the thick bile in his throat. You were just....recalling old memories, that's all. Nothing else. He tried to focus on the grass blades he felt through the blanket. He tried to focus on the sounds of the kids running around squealing.

He watched you eat some of the cold grapes he brought you. They were big, and you praised him lightly for finding such a great batch. He nods quietly and stares down at his lap. Everything was fine. You were fine, and so was he. "Satoru...?" Honey dripping naturally in your voice makes his head turn automatically. The worry etched on your face made the strings holding his mind together break one by one. "Are you alright..? You're sweating."

Nothing was fine. He can't believe you just said that to him. Why would you..? Why did...? Why?.....wait, why?? Why??? Why why why why why why WHY would you do that? Why would you say that to him? He sacrificed so much for you. He killed all of the assassins that went after you when the higher ups found out about you and him getting closer. He paid off your parent's debt secretly. He paid your rent. He woke up early in the mornings to talk to you because he knows you like to wake up to see the sunset. He memorized all of your schedules when you have special weeks, special breaks, he memorized all days that you memorized, he knows what mattress you like to sleep on, he knows how you like certain foods to be seasoned, he knows your favorite weather and season, he didn't fucking learn all of this about you for nothing!! WHY don't you ever appreciate everything he's ever done for you? Why don't you notice him? Why don't you love him? He stalks you every day to understand the type of man you would want to live under your roof and be under your covers and that wasn't enough.

He's been so alone all of his fucking life. No one understood him like you do. He couldn't help but open his ribcage, breaking them off of his body to one by one to let you touch his hot beating heart with your cold fingers. He wants you inside of his heart forever and never let you go, can't you understand that? He hasn't slept in three days, predetermining what he was going to say to you during this picnic, and you tell him that?? Just fucking kill him. Kill him, kick his face, spit on him, ruin him like you're doing now. He clearly doesn't matter.

"Satoru??"

He's supposed to be the one you compare playing video games with, he is supposed to be the one you watch the same tv shows with, he was supposed to go to the same school as you!! His skin is on fire, he can't breathe, his mind hurts, the grass blades are irritating his skin and the children are making his migraine worse. Are you saying something? He can't hear you. His ears are ringing.

He wants to be him. He wants to rip open the skin and spine of the man who lived in your soul since the dawn of time and crawl into his body to experience what he experienced. He wants to do all of those things with you as kids and live with you, grow with you, let him be your infatuation. He wants to rewind time. He wants to die. He wants both of you to die and be reborn to be given a second chance he can never ever have.

"Satoru!"

Your face is twisted into heavy concern and slight fear. Satoru sat in front of you, staring at you. He hasn't moved in three entire minutes. His face was covered in bucket loads of sweat, his lips twisted into a tight smile that threatened to break into a million pieces. The corners of his lips wobbled as if he was going to cry, but his eyes were wide open and dry. His legs, arms, and back stiff as he sits in such an uncomfortable position, it had to hurt. You were scared for him.

Can he hear you? You slowly raise on of your hands to touch his cheek and he flinches under your touch, finally blinking. "Yes?" You purse your lips and bring out a cold water bottle from your basket. "Here, maybe you should drink some water." He takes the water bottle you dropped into his hand. "Thank you." He whispers and sighs, twisting open the cap. You watch him guzzle the whole thing in 5 seconds. "......maybe we should go indoors." He nods, closing the now empty water bottle. "Yeah. The sun is hurting my eyes."

No part 2's. Because I don't like continuing old plot and I love seeing people go crazy for me not continuing good content.

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saturnianautist · 4 months

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Planets in the 8th house

Disclaimer: I am not a professional astrologer these are just my opinions based on my years of experience and research so take with a grain of salt. Also, any mention of some illness or mental illness that could possibly (emphasis on possibly) present in some individuals is one of many ways a placement could manifest but I am not a doctor and astrology should never be a replacement for the real thing. please keep this in mind and take what resonates and leave what doesn’t.

Note: the 8th house deals with themes of death, loss, sex, other peoples money, inheritance, unspoken/hidden things/secrets, irrational fears, the past, obsessions/compulsions and addictions. This house can be intimidating because of the chaotic sides that it can bring, but really this house is like a mirror that shows you places where you can leave certain things behind and transform for the better if you let it. The 7th is about our relationships based on fairness and an equal standing whereas the 8th is where we can either fall or thrive from the opposite. Often with the 8th house we get shown situations where our desire, anger, greed, and insecurities come out, only if we’re not managing. It shows where we can over indulge and also owe things. On the flip side it can also be a house where we have big gains, lots of spiritual and creative gifts and are also owed things. These are my take on the energy of this house in combination with each of the planets and how that could possibly manifest in life. One more note for you all, as you’re reading this please take it with a grain of salt 8th house is not as scary as it seems and some of the things I say are in the most unfortunate and extreme manifestations possible and will probably only be some people so don’t shy away from this energy because when you know how to use it can be so focused and powerful.

Sun:

This person is most likely very familiar with significant loss of something or someone in their lifetime, especially early on or even multiple times throughout their life. The individual likely goes through transformations of their character frequently and throughout their whole lives. As soon as one ends one begins. This can feel tiring if they’re resistant to the changes, but if they embrace them they have the ability to learn many valuable lessons that help them get closer to achieving the life they want, and who they want to be. They might take an interest in, have an early memory of, or know someone close to them who has experienced being in a place that deals with darker themes like a cemetery, hospital, mental hospital, prison etc.. real life detectives who can find out anything and anything on anyone, they are great information gatherers but if not mindful this can be used poorly or for the wrong reasons. Someone prone to being easily addicted to things or obsessive/controlling over something or even someone (including themselves). Can be prone to reckless behavior or self destructive behavior. on a positive note they can very focused and achieve so much when they set their mind to something (sign will tell you more with what). Might be interested or good at careers dealing with things that involve the psyche, life and death situations, spiritual matters, intimacy, investigation, money etc.. For this placement a focus on moderation is so important in order to lead a balanced life free of addictions and free of trying to control to many things. This being a spiritual placement, looking for signs or listening to places your ancestors or passed loved ones try to send you messages to can be of benefit. Also, taking your time to get to know someone in any kind of relationship before getting attached or committed can bring you a lot of peace. Being mindful and thinking of moderation in any decision in general will be helpful to a healthy life.

Moon:

These are people who have very Intense emotions. They can be deeply empathetic and sensitive, and might even struggle to regulate their emotions in a healthy way. These people might not have gotten their needs met as a child, with an emphasis on a lack of emotional stability. Growing up, they might have often heard that they were too much or that they were dramatic when expressing themselves. This could have really impacted them in a way where they might now present as very secretive people, especially with emotions and thoughts out of fear that they will be “too much to handle” to others. They might really struggle to truly open up in their relationships with others and others could find them hard to read because of this. This placement could have a theme in their life on uncovering truths about their family or about the mother or mother figure, somewhere there is a clear theme of hidden things in the family. Something about the relationship with mom is complicated and intense here. An obsessive or intense mother, A mother with illness or mental health issues or even passing away in youth. You or your mom having a difficult pregnancy, or child born with mental health issues or mental disabilities, you or your mom having a child against some kind of odds. A child that challenges you in some way in which it forces you to heal or come to term with certain traumas. An individual deeply interested in spirituality and darker sides to life. Knowing things are going to happen before they do (good intuition), If you have periods it might be a painful or intense period as the moon deals with women’s cycles and 8th house can be destructive and intense. If they are not careful they might turn to substance abuse to cope emotionally as the 8th house can turn obsessive or overindulgent at times so moon in 8th really needs a good healthy emotional outlet in order to cope in the world, spiritual practices can help them regulate their emotions even, they also need to establish a really good support system of solid people in their lives who are supportive of them and in which are they can open up to comfortably. Tending to the home, themes of the home life, self discovery and finding out the truths you need, to reach some conclusions that give clarity about your childhood and family, will really help these people find more tranquility and calm in their lives.

Mercury:

These people are extremely intelligent and easily pick up hidden or unsaid things from conversations (ie they will know when you’re lying to them it’s not wise to try to). They have probably heard even since they were young that they were so smart for their age. They might be gifted in any kind of writing or using their words in some way, things that use transportation, and things that use their hands (for example jewelry making, playing an instrument or drawing, singing, computer programmer etc..). Because Mercury also rules over mental ability and learning skills, even if they don’t have a natural ability for something they can still do anything of their choosing. What they do have is the natural ability to learn new information and apply it, meaning they can master anything just based on their talent of that. They are prone to overthinking and getting obsessive in their own thought patterns which can turn toxic. They can also be obsessive about their work. They can easily get addicted to work and become workaholics which can have a strain on the other areas of their life, especially because they tend to be perfectionists and analyze until something’s just right. Mercury rules a lot of our mental areas and how they function, and the 8th house can get destructive at times, so this placement is prone to having mental illness, especially anxiety or even social anxiety. This could manifest and look different for different people, but often times they are more susceptible to this. At best, this person is just a little chaotic in their personality and it’s one of their many charms. Sometimes people won’t understand this but some will learn to love them more for it. This person is a really my way is the right way and don’t tell me different please. As someone with this placement there’s usually a reason we do things a certain way and it works best for us so it’s best to just go with it. It’s important for these individuals to maintain a good way of speaking to themselves to avoid falling into negative thought patterns. Things like affirmations, talk therapy or journaling etc.. could help them, also having good people around them. Being mindful about work life balance here is also essential to do well in their environment. Additionally, having a good outlet for anxiety will help them cope in a healthy way. Things like regular exercise, eating well, prioritizing good sleep, having a hobby you enjoy that grounds or relaxes, meditation. Eliminating things that escalate cortisol levels like coffee or atleast limiting your consumption, overindulging in junk food or alcohol, unnecessary stress etc.. will also help ease anxiety.

Venus:

If you’re not mindful in dating this placement can tend to have intense love lives and fall into cycles where they feel trapped (8th house can get very attached) this can look like manipulation into staying in a relationship, staying with someone who isn’t good to you or is destructive to the relationship in some way. Alternatively, the relationship is still intense but more expressed as deep love or passion. The individual could be with someone very loyal, committed, and someone that would do anything for them or make sacrifices, also someone who would bring positive transformations to their life. This also notes being in a relationship where there is very good intimacy and deep connection both physically and spiritually, basically just very very connected to eachother where you help eachother with stuff like trauma, trust, fears and money even. People might really want to spoil you with this placement (8th house other people money and Venus attraction), this could also play out in a romantic relationship where you attract people that want to provide for you. Venus dealing with romantic relationships and 8th house dealing with money especially other people’s money it would be wise to get secure or have your financial things in order before getting legally involved like marriage for example. If you separate with this person or have any legal mishaps this placement could point to either owing money or receiving money depending on if it’s aspected well or in an easy sign. This placement can also indicate marrying or being in a relationship with someone who was born into poverty or alternatively inheritance depending on the aspects. This placement can manifest in a lot of different ways but whatever it is usually shows a relationship where you and them are overcoming obstacles together and transforming together. Be careful with greediness and selfishness especially financially here or of other people with those traits. The more you do that the more likely you are to have to pay off debts. A main lesson here will be learning how to have a handle on your desires specifically material and to have self restraint or discipline in that area.

Mars:

In the worst manifestation (so this won’t be everyone and this is just a possibility not a given) this can point to the body or mind attacking itself in some way whether with sickness or even self harm and or a habit self destructing mentally. Alternatively this could also look like making really impulsive decision making which puts you in harms way (mars likes to move fast and can lack patience in its unfortunate expression). At its best this placement has an immense amount of drive and passion in the things they do as if it never runs out. They are great at reaching the goals they set for themselves. They are probably good at facing conflict headfirst and dealing with it quickly. When something comes up that does not serve them they are quick to nip it in the bud. In the fortunate expression this person takes really good care of their body and might have transformations physically. This could look like a significant weight loss or gain or building muscles or maybe even nursing their body back to health from sickness and looking bright and lively again. Most likely they have overcome something physically and have this discipline towards their body. They might be the type of person to have a health regimen they do daily. It’s important for this placement to find a way to healthily use their physical energy because they usually have needs here which can lead to overindulgence if using the energy improperly. Having a workout routine or a way to let off stress in a healthy way physically will be very helpful for them. This could also look like another outlet as long as they have some sort of thing they are passionate about to direct their energy to it will be useful for them since this placement has a great deal of energy. Whatever it is it could be almost anything but mars energy needs a goal and they need to be the one leading things and self motivating otherwise this individual can end up feeling very lost or fearful from lack of direction.

Jupiter:

Jupiter can be very overconfident at times. With that being said, its energy mixing with 8th house themes especially with getting addicted to things or attached, this can present in a lot of different ways besides just substance abuse. Finances especially other peoples finances, and Jupiter’s tendency to make things it touches bigger or expanded, as well Jupiter ruling over fortune and luck (when expressed improperly this can be unfortunate or unlucky) this individual could be prone to a gambling problem (8th house money we owe) at its worst expression. In its best, this could look like making profits in something especially through relationships and networking with other people. This could also be someone that has knowledge of how to handle their money wisely. This would be a good person to start their own business, very entrepreneurial energy with the risk factor but then it coming back ten fold with Jupiter’s blessings. This person is very lucky when it comes to business deals and investments when the energy is used productively. This individual might experience a streak of luck, fortune, or large sum/financial gain in their life, sometimes after a point of loss or tragedy. This individual might be very interested in religion, spirituality or higher education and knowledge of healing so if they don’t believe in religion maybe they still believe in god or something else or maybe they just like to study things in that field. This can also present as having knowledge for a career in being healing to others like a doctor, therapist or maybe someone who helps rehabilitate people physically or from addictions. Its important for this person to find a productive way to use their efforts and talents because they can be prone to doing to much or being extra in ways that causes trouble for them. Finding something that lets them express these talents and knowledge healthily can let them access their blessings fully and accomplish a lot.

Saturn:

Could point to a complicated relationship with the father, father figure or older male figures in the family. They could be absent in someway by choice or not where you have to grieve their presence in some way. This could also manifest as a father figure that’s emotionally unwell or has really intense emotions and controlling behaviors. This individual might need to be very careful of avoidant behaviors when it comes to their feelings and traumas because they can turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms or addictions when they don’t want feel or experience a certain emotion or memory. In a more fortunate manifestation these individuals could have really great discipline. Especially because with Saturn placements the individual can tend to be put through lots of trials and tribulations for the lessons the universe wants to give them. When they do something that isn’t good for them it comes back to them a lot quicker and they are aware of this, so once they learn to master discipline they learn to put a lot of focus towards the care of their body, their health, and especially their goals. They can be very hardworking, just be careful that you don’t use work as an another vice to escape hard situations or feelings. Now there is more that could go wrong with what you do but if you are on the right path doing what you need for yourself there is more benefits like tenfold that come back to you. Growing up Saturn can have a theme of having a lack of in terms of stability so it’s common here that if you’re doing what you need to do and you have achieved that discipline then these individuals can lead very stable lives full of abundance especially financially. Here again, the most important thing is taking your lessons and learning them hopefully the first time (because Saturn will show you something you don’t want), taking care of your health both mentally and physically, taking care of your responsibilities, and being disciplined where you need to be this individual will be granted abundance maybe even through marriage since this is the 8th house of shared money or inheritance.

Uranus:

So because Uranus rules over rapid changes as well as things that are unpredictable, and the 8th house rules over destruction and rebirth/transformational energy, this can create a lot of unpredictable events growing up. Now depending on other placements this could manifest in a number of different ways but this could point to possible unexpected injuries to yourself or others that are on accident, things that cause you to uproot your life like your house getting hit by a tornado or something and having to move etc.. now these are extreme examples and just a possible manifestation it doesn’t have to be that extreme. This could also manifest as finding out unexpected secrets or things that were hidden from you either in your family or friend circle (8th house rules over secrets). Because 8th house placements usually deal with loss or passing of their loved ones in some way, with Uranus being here this could mean a bizarre or weird circumstances to how it happened. Now in a fortunate expression this could also look like a positive rare outcome. These individuals could have near death experiences but they always make it through alive somehow, like a cancer patient who is cured gets it again and beats it again. Because 8th house rules finances, especially other people’s finances, this individual could also do something like accidentally win the lottery or something, or receiving money from the government or more easily receiving money on the internet like if you had a YouTube channel. Uranus is a rebel it is a disturber so this can point in terms of mental health to an anxiety based mental illness or something that targets your nervous system. Especially because this individual might have had these crazy unexpected life experiences at one point it’s also a basis for rare traumas that can be underlying cause for their anxiety or paranoia that something bad will happen (like schizophrenia for example). In a positive manifestation this individual is really gifted in technology, science, coming up with a vision or new ideas that have never been thought of before, creative energy. They have the ability to really master one of these lanes and take a new approach to them in a way that feels fresh and exciting to people, they can have many good collaborations with people as well in their passion. Another thing about Uranus, they don’t give f****. If something isn’t working for you or you want to change your life up for the good this placement really gives you free range to easily achieve it and let go and start anew. I will say though that one thing this placement should be careful of is making sure you have good people around you that you can trust because just as this energy can be collaborative and point to community you need the right people, in a less fortunate circumstance this can point to betrayal or friends that bring you into unexpected unfortunate situations.

Neptune:

Y’all can be very foggy headed and delulu. Neptunes specialty is making things confusing so sometimes you need to be able to take off the rose colored glasses and see clearly. Neptune can make it so that it’s very hard to differentiate between fantasy and reality so when that meets the 8th house it can have an tendency to make it so the individual has struggles being honest with themselves. Sometimes this can point to lying to others, not necessarily intentionally but just because you aren’t being honest to yourself. But more likely it can point to not being honest about what’s not good for you in your life. This can be an addiction or unhealthy outlet, it could be a person that maybe isn’t treating you right but you have a certain version of them in your head that you’re stuck to. This could also just be unhealthy habits you have in general. More specifically these individuals can struggle with a lot of escapist tendencies which can sometimes manifest as drug use and sometimes more heavy drug use in attempt to either not feel or feel something good (like Saturn the escapism is present but Saturn is much more aware of it whereas Neptune is in a fantasy in their head). Neptune rules over subtle things or invisibility so this can be either drugs or other things that make you feel either numb or just overly calm. Neptune can be very uncomfortable in the 8th house at times as Neptune is very spiritual and while the 8th house is also spiritual it’s still very involved with the material world. Neptune doesn’t wanna have a worry and the 8th house just keeps putting reality in their face. Finding their personal spiritual path is a big theme here as again Neptune is very spiritual and the 8th house brings a lot of transformational energy here. Especially because this can point to religious trauma sometimes in more extreme cases so usually there is some type of transformation with that. Being that Neptune also rules over dreams, their dreams can be symbolically important for showing them things regarding spiritual themes so pay attention to your dreams. Especially if it’s from a passed loved one (8th house ruling over death and loss) it could be part of your spirituality that you get sent message from them through your dreams. This person should watch out for the beginning thing I said but also they should watch out for being not only major people pleasers in their relationships but also major enablers to toxic or unhealthy behaviors. Also be careful of overspending or having unhealthy money habits without realizing it or trusting others to handle your money bc they might have alternative intentions you’re not able to see.

Pluto:

Pluto is very methodical here since both the 8th house and Pluto rule over secrecy. This individual probably takes a very quiet and private approach to things in their life and you won’t know until they actually do the thing. This can also be a result of the traumas and things they’ve went through in life. They are very resilient but they could have dealt with a lot of betrayal growing up so they know people like the back of their hand most of the time. Sometimes they can be a bit paranoid because of this though and they can have lots of trust issues towards others. Now they go about things privately because they know how people can switch up easily and don’t want their plans to be ruined again. Because Pluto rules over crime and also authority they might have had a lot of issues with authority growing up family and even possibly with the law. Both of these areas rule over destruction so it’s possible that they had self destructive behaviors and getting into bad situations or illegal situations as a way of acting out from things they’ve been through or just because they might not have had anyone to teach them how to use the toolbox they were given. This individual can be very gifted and very smart and meticulous in what they do. They can be interested in darker jobs or jobs in which what you do is very powerful or transformative/healing (like being a doctor). They have trouble being under authority because they are meant to be their own bosses and hold their own power in their hands. Pluto is very influential and you might have a reputation for disrupting societal normalities in good or bad ways it depends. Be careful with this energy though because it can be easily abused and you need to be careful to use it productively. If you use it unproductively you can come off as controlling and overbearing but if used right you can hold a high regard and be well respected in what you do. This placement can attract a lot of jealousy from others because they are envious of how powerful you can be or are intimidated by you so it’s important to have confidence and good self esteem. A key part of your journey will be healing. Self healing and discovery will be a big theme here. Learning to heal your traumas and trust issues in relationships will be good for creating the life you want and bringing you peace, as well as learning to accept your flaws and yourself. Strong self love is important here.

#astrology #zodiac #astro notes #astro observations #planetsinthe8thhouse #8th house #sun in 8th house #moon in 8th house #venus in 8th house #mercury in 8th house #mars in 8th house #Jupiter in 8th house #Saturn in 8th house #Uranus in 8th house #Neptune in 8th house #pluto in 8th house

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halcyone-of-the-sea · 3 months

Text

CAT-EYES

PAIRING: Runaway Groom!John 'Soap' MacTavish x F!Thief!Reader

SYNOPSIS: What begins as a normal day of stalking the back road for wealthy carriages, turns into a walking nightmare spanning three days. Who is this finely-dressed man stumbling about your woods?

WORDCOUNT: 13.3k

WARNINGS: Blood, injury, light gore, pining, intense banter, sarcasm, insults, kind of enemies-to-lovers but eh, angst, protective!John, light hurt/comfort, bittersweet?, etc.

*I do not give others permission to translate and/or re-publish my works on this or any other platform*

You were sitting in the branches again.

Lightly swinging your legs from over the sides, the rough bark at your spine shifted as you let out a tiny sigh into the chilled air. In your ears, you’re hearing the bugs fly past, and the large hart about fifteen feet away pushing through the undergrowth—built body just barely there as the puff of his hot breath wafts upwards.

Twirling the arrow between your fingers, your bow sitting carefully in your lap, you close your eyes and listen.

The years had come and gone and yet you remained here in this small corner of nowhere—resting in this old gnarled oak tree with its branches and leaves giving protection from the elements when nothing else would. Sure, you had a small home to call your own in these very woods, but your windows didn’t give a view of the back road to the East. Barely anyone took it now, and you think you’re partially to blame for it, but, well, perhaps those pesky nobles shouldn’t have been too prone to flashing their coin.

So it was their fault, and on your failing honor, the money always went to a good cause anyway. Who wouldn’t want a poor woman to eat?

But, no. There are rules that every thief follows, no matter how unsavory. You never killed anyone; you never harmed them, either. Just the money—a brandished dagger or an arrow to the side of a carriage wouldn’t hurt anything besides pride, and many of those you stole from had enough to last them multiple lifetimes.

“Greedy fellows,” you sigh under your breath before you stretch like a cat, arching your spine and spreading your arms high above your head. The few rays of sun you get through the leaves dance across your face, but still, the thick layer of cold air is present all around.

Shuffling a bit in your shoulder-wrapping, you yawn and fall back once more—licking your lips and thinking of warm stew and fresh bread from the inn down in the town. Shivering, your fingers move to play with your bow, tapping along the bend of wood as the trees are brushed by a soft breeze. The hart below huffs louder still—hooves crushing across the fallen twigs, and you think it’s a bit strange the thing is still here despite your scent clearly in the air, but your eyes are more focused on the road than an animal.

Until it speaks.

“Hells fuckin’ bells, this damn get-up is going to be the death of me,” the words are barked out quickly—laced with heated anger as a branch is slapped by heavy hands.

Startling, your head snaps below you rapidly; heart jerking inside of your chest so suddenly that you nearly send yourself off the side of your perch. Scrambling for your bow to make sure it doesn’t clatter to the dirt of the Earth, you force down a loud gasp at what you see.

“Bastard things,” meets your ears as you stare open-eyed at a bulky man as he stumbles out into the small clearing below your tree, looking behind him as he pants. Your jaw goes slack at the extravagant apparel clothing this sudden stranger—a red, black, and blue tartan thrown over his shoulder, pinned with the silver image of a great boar head, and the kilt has more than one bramble stuck into it as it swishes with his turn.

He has a sporran as well, made of dark furs with three tassels hanging, the metal also silver, as your experienced eyes can tell as they narrow in confusion.

“What in the hell…” You breathe quietly, leaning just a bit more over the edge of your branch slowly.

There were black belts and buckles, rich shoes of leather, and your gaze slowly drags to the hanging body of a sword strapped to his waist, swinging as the man rests his feet and looks down at himself with a deep annoyance. There wasn’t an inch of him not coated in dirt, mud, or sweat—all that deer-ish panting and huffing escaping his mouth in condensed clouds.

“Fuckin’,” he stops himself from continuing the curse, holding up his hands as he glares down at his form. “Jesus, this’ll never come out at this rate.”

This comment made your lips twitch, eyebrow-raising as your sharp vision filtered from one detail to the next—learning the brown shade of his cut hair and the strange way it’s kept long down the center, and short along the sides. He had a strong build to him, and the boar broach, while it may be something to distinguish a family line as he seemed wealthy, perfectly reflected the individual.

He was a being of muscle and stubborn willpower. All tusk and bristled fur.

Your eyes linger a bit longer on the silver of that broach—the thing that glints in the light alluringly. You hum under your breath, tilting your head softly. Yet, your impression was made, and your wits are about you as sharply as they always had been.

This was a formal outfit, for a formal occasion. So, why was this important man trampling through the woods where you were set to ambush the next unassuming noble on the road? Why was he looking over his shoulder so tense-like? Your curiosity had piqued the second you’d figured out the rabid crunching from the bushes wasn’t a deer but instead, a wealthy-looking man who wasn’t, you admitted, too hard on the eyes.

Blinking, you smile, fingers twitching over your bow as the stranger brushes his vest rapidly, growling down at the large mud stains.

“Lost, then?” Your voice makes him startle, skull whipping forward to the tree trunk until you whistle and lean forward; moving your bow to push away the cover of leaves. “Up here, now,” blue eyes immediately lock with yours and you hum, chuckling, at the moment of shock that shines through. “Poor bastard, look at you and all that mud. You’ve been through hell, mate, eh? By the state of you, I’d say you fought a bear and found yourself at the end of an unfortunate outcome.”

Your words are smooth—nearly sly just as they always are. There’s intent leaking out of every one of them until all that remains is a layered purpose, like that of a butcher peeling away flesh from a hide. You have to process that skin: lay it to a rack to let it dry before it can be stretched to the desired firmness, and, finally, softened.

You took as much pleasure in the mental hunt as you did the payoff. Where there’s money to be earned, there’s also knowledge—you were a thief of all.

The man watches you with wide eyes, those blues glinting as they blink, glancing around rapidly to check for any others like you that may be hiding. He steps back, a hand brushing his sword, and you think to yourself slowly, he’s smart.

You breathe down chilled air. Before he responds he checks to make sure it’s not an ambush—the man understands he’s out of his element here. He’s on edge.

The both of you stare at one another, before your face shifts, brow-raising up on your forehead.

“What, did I startle you?” Legs looping to hang off the same side, your body feels lighter than a feather as you send yourself over the edge, knees taking the brunt of the force as your head catches up to your stomach—grunting as you hold your bow heavily in one hand. The jostle moves the limbs of your arrows, kept in a quiver at the small of your back.

Standing fully, you huff and set an easy smile to your lips, all teeth.

“My apologies, Lord.” Your free hand finds your heart, and you bend your spine forward. “I couldn’t help but see you down here below my tree.”

“Best to stay where you are,” the stranger grunts, only giving you enough of a glance to deem you unthreatening, apparently. Your form straightened. He watches you warily on the next go-around, attention always drifting to every snap of a twig off into the trees or the breeze shifting the leaves. “No need to apologize,” is the hurried reply, caught on a rough accent and a hissed gravel huff. “I’ll be on my way once I get my bearings. I don’t have time for conversation—and you should find your way home before long.” Eyes dart. “It isn’t good to be out today...or tonight, I’d say.”

If possible, your intrigue gains strength like a saint in Heaven.

The man’s square face raves in a clench of his jaw, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

“Are you sure you’re not lost, Lord?” You continue, undeterred, and shift your bow to sling it over your shoulder. “I live in these woods, I’d have no trouble directing you to the road. It isn’t far.”

“It’s John,” he grunts, glancing over, out of sorts. He was tired—his limbs were shaking with exertion even if he didn’t realize it yet. You think that perhaps if he were more focused, he’d ask why a woman had just landed in front of him from the branch of an Oak; dressed in trousers and a tunic, with just a woolen wrap to keep out the chill. Dirt over her face and a cunning edge to her words. Or, maybe he did know, you wondered, and simply didn’t care at the moment.

“Just call me Johnny. And,” he shakes his head firmly. “No. Go home to your husband, Bonnie, this doesn’t involve you.” He blinks, staring with a line across his forehead, stubble pulling along his cheeks. “I know this place—there’s a road just to the…” he turns his head to the direction of your trail, blinking at the coverage of thick foliage. “Fuck,” the dark-haired stranger growls, blues sparking up in a feral display of desperate weight.

You can only see the winding bends if you have a vantage point—that was why you chose your tree in the first place. Your smile grows.

“It’s that way, Lord,” you breathe, pointing in the opposite direction of the road, back to the small path of brambles and bushes that leads closer to your home instead. “We pass my property on the way, I can offer you some drink for your troubles.” A chuckle wafts the air. “You look like you need it.”

There’s a large moment of hesitation, in which you begin to wonder if this prize might be too big to catch, but, then, as there’s a flash of something over John’s face, he grits his teeth and sighs.

“Aye, fine,” he nods, looking to the side as he lowers his tense shoulders and clears his throat. You’re offered a sincere expression that borders on strained guilt. “Thank you, Dearie. I…” John pauses, frowning. “I hope I didn’t scare you too much when I burst through the trees like that—I’m in a bit of a rush if you can’t tell. I need to make for the shore.”

“My,” you huff, shifting your body and motioning him to follow—he does, setting his feet carefully ahead of him with experienced movements; keeping a respectable distance away. Johnny wasn’t new to the woods, then. He knew where to place his feet, at the very least. “The shore? That sounds exciting.” You conclude, hiding your creased brows as you stare forward. “Making for the South? I’ve heard handfuls are leaving for the weather.”

Looking over your shoulder, you make sure he keeps on your trail as you push through the bushes. “More agreeable, they say. Less rain.”

John chuckles, though he’s still visibly aware of everything around him. He spares you a look, a small smirk taking over his slightly chapped lips. “Keep talkin’ like that, and I just might.”

You’re surprised by the genuine laugh that fights in the back of your throat. Humming under your breath, you shrug it off as simply as a dog does a fly. It was painfully obvious neither of you trusted the other.

John’s eyes were stuck on the back of your head, and yours were eager to slide back to his form on the off-chance you had to use the dagger strapped to the meat of your thigh, carefully hidden under your trousers and accessible via a cut in your pocket. He was all muscle, and already you know that any attack coming to you would be unwise to try and retaliate—slash and retreat was a much better escape plan.

You could outrun him.

“So,” your words bleed curiosity, eyes imploring as you glance over your shoulder. “Why are you out in the woods, Johnny? In such a nice outfit as well. Is there something going on around here?”

The dark-haired man tilts his head your way, sighing long. “A wedding, actually. Horrible thing, if I have to comment on it.”

Your lips twitch.

“Oh, aye. I’d heard about it in town not two days ago—something about a marriage of advantage? Who was the unlucky pair, then?”

John clenched his jaw, hand coming up to push at the smear of dried blood on his cheek, which you’d just noticed wasn’t dirt and instead the result of a branch slap. Pale cheeks were wind-bitten. Lungs heavy. You narrow your gaze before stopping the surge of questions in your mouth.

“Some poor bastard, that’s who,” he responds slowly, mostly under his breath, before blinking. “How much further is the road, Dearie? No offense,” he grunts, staring seriously at you “but I'd rather not be here for much longer.”

The boar broach winks at you.

“Not far,” you smile coyly. “Forgive me, Lord John—”

“Just Johnny—”

“—But I do hope you’re not a fugitive.”

Blue eyes widen, sure feet faltering.

“.... Negative, Bonnie, no, I’m not running from the law. You don’t have to worry about any of that with me,” he breathes, and not once does he look away from you. You have to commend the man, he seemed an honest fellow, and those, you knew, were very rare indeed in your time. “I just need to get out of these woods. You’ll never hear from me again after I’m gone.” He takes a breath, looking past you. “You have my word.”

“Is it worth believing?” You push, smirking. “There’s few dressed like you that I can say it is.”

John licks his lips as you both pass a fallen tree, standing more side by side than previously now that the density of bushes had dispersed. He huffs, sending you a side-eye before he seems to study your face, brows pulling jokingly.

“I don’t think my answer would make much of a difference, would it?”

You pause, enjoying this man’s company more by the second. “No, it wouldn’t.” The both of you stare, before you grin and pull your sharp gaze away, chuckling. “Follow me,” you motion a hand. “Before you fall into a mud pit and completely ruin what little is left of your outfit that’s sellable—” You fumble, faking a cough as you clear your throat and finish off with tension now in your spine, “Salvageable.”

“If I’m bein’ honest, Bonnie,” Johnny grumbles, either not noticing the mistake or simply not registering it. “I wouldn’t fuckin’ care if it got covered in horse shit.”

—

You open the door to your home, shifting out of your bow and setting it against the wall with your quiver following to rest beside it as two siblings should.

“You’re lucky,” you hum, “I just went to the well this morning—freshwater is in the basin, cups on the table.”

John’s eyes give a firm once-over, fingers fidgeting above his sword’s hilt. He nods once, moving into the doorway, and immediately goes to where you describe and grabs onto a carved cup, tilting it in his hands.

“Thank you,” he mutters sincerely, hand dipping into the collection of water. “Eh,” John puffs a laugh, “I’d imagine I would still be stumbling along if it wasn’t for you, little Lady. These woods are larger than I remember them.”

“You come from around here?” You ask, brushing down your wool wrapping as you pull at the burs in the fiber. “Don’t recall your face in the town, though I’m not there often.”

“Hm,” he takes down the water, and you watch his Adam’s Apple bob as droplets slip from his lips to drop off his chin. Once he had drunk the entire cup, he removed it and wiped at his mouth with his forearm, blue eyes peeking above it. “I…wasn’t in town usually. Not really my place—the forests outside of my property took most of my attention.” He confesses, head tilting as the strange cut of his hair flops along with his skull. “Those, I could run blind.”

“I’m sure,” you puff a laugh.

While the air was somewhat calm, there was still an underlying hesitancy: Johnny didn’t know who you were, and you didn’t know what he was running from. Both were important questions that needed to be answered. Yet, John seemed the casual type.

“Doubt me?” His eyes narrow, a smile brewing.

“I never said that,” you walk past him, also grabbing a cup before dipping it into the basin. Your finger points. “But it would be interesting to test.”

“Unfortunately,” John breathes, setting down his cup, “I’m occupied at the moment.”

“A groom would be,” you tilt your head, casually sipping at your drink. “Your wife must be fucking fuming right now.”

The room flips on itself, and the man is instantly frozen.

Johnny stares, shocked, and you see his feet instinctually ready a stance to either blot to the door, or to take up his sword. His expression is layered with secrecy.

“...What was that?”

“I said your wife must be fucking fuming,” you say louder, slipping your hand into your pocket and shrugging to make it seem meaningless—your dagger’s hilt is smooth under your flesh. “Or did you not finish the ceremony? Betrothed, then, Johnny Boy?” Your eyes glint. “Hell, the event must have been absolutely laced with wealth. Did you have wine imported? New fabrics for your wedding clothes? I’d almost be disappointed if you didn’t.”

“That’s none of your business, Dearie,” he levels, glare heavy and firm while his face is stoic. You can clearly see his body wound up like a wild dog. “I think we’re done here.”

He backs up quickly, legs taking him to the exit until you’re suddenly right behind him, and the man feels the sharp press of a blade into the back of his spine.

Your lips are at his ear, and you chuckle. “Sorry, but we’re not done until anything valuable is in my hands and not on your body.”

“If you wanted me naked,” he growls, glaring from over his shoulder, as his form is rod-straight. “You could have just asked, Little Thief.”

“I’d call it heavy persuasion,” you chuff. “Sounds better, don’t you think.”

“I don’t have time for this,” Johnny barks, teeth gnashing. “Put the knife down before this gets ugly.”

“I’m not entirely sure I want to,” your answer meets the air. “There’s enough silver and fine fabric on you to feed me for an entire winter, even when the deer move to better grounds.”

John grits his molars, his neck bent as his fingers twitch at his sides, slipping along to his sword slowly.

“Money? That’s why you’ve got a bloody blade on me? Christ, my day just keeps getting better and better.” You glare, anger moving behind your eyes.

“Some people have to work for what they want, you—” Your hand is slapped to the side as John spins, and your dagger is sent along the floor in a loud clatter; a hand finding your upper arm as you gasp, and, suddenly, there’s the chilled edge of a blade at your throat.

Wide-eyed, you gape at John as the man smirks at you, yet his orbs are infected with annoyance.

“When you draw a knife on someone, you best know how to use it.” The edge is slightly pressed deeper and your body refuses to move. “You put it at the neck, Cat-Eyes.” John frowns, glaring. “Knew there was something about you—down to the bow and arrows.”

“What,” you growl out, a low embarrassment stemming in your gut as John’s puffs of breath move along your face. Your face burns, and your fingers jerk with anger. “A woman can’t have hobbies?”

“Not when I find ‘em up trees waiting to ambush any bastard that comes by wearing silver.”

“Mate,” you sneer, eyes glimmering. “At this point, you can keep your damn silver. It’s more of a reward to watch you stumble like a fool through the woods five feet from the road.” Johnny’s face tightens, yet there’s little time to fight like children anymore when the sound of breaking branches is echoing off the windows of the house.

Both of your necks whip to the door, yours a great deal more carefully as you’re slightly nicked by the sword's edge, but the drip of blood is voided. High voices carry over the air.

“Find him!”

“His tracks lead through here—get the hounds on it!”

“Here!”

Your brow raises, smirk getting larger as you chuckle under your breath. “Better get on your way quickly, then.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Johnny snarls, all at once ripping his sword from your neck yet keeping his ruthless grip on your upper arm. He looks nervous now—his eyes jumping from one place to another, thinking. “Where’s the damn road, you minx.”

You shrug, eyes sharp. “What road, Lord?”

The strong man rages, eyes burning with a thousand suns as the sword is taken from your neck and re-sheathed in one motion—a second hand staples itself to your waist, gripping tightly. You blink, saliva swallowed down thickly at the dig of heavy fingers into flesh as your heart stutters.

“You’re going to tell me,” John levels, shifting the both of you back as the sounds of fast footsteps are echoed by the bay of dogs. “As much as I would enjoy being away from you in any capacity at all,” you smile humorously to him through his dead-tone monologue, “I need a guide out of these woods and across the land. If you won’t help willingly, I’ll just have to make do.”

You blink, confused.

“Make do?” Your body is taken up, and you shout as you’re ruthlessly flung over the man’s shoulder with a hiked toss.

Johnny’s smirk is lost to you, but his chuckle is not as he dashes to the door and slams it open, taking a quick left and looping the house—diving into the foliage as if a fish to water. “Unhand me, you brute!” You scream, clawing and hitting at the man’s back—kicking even, as your knee speedily finds his ribcage. “Ow!” John laughs, his grin highly amused as he turns back to look at you. The shouts from the trees get larger, but that doesn’t help you much as you’re both soon going deeper and deeper into the woods. “Jesus, you have a pair of legs, don’t you?”

“If I were marrying you,” you bark down at him, struggling with all of your might as your home disappears from view. “I’d be running instead of the other way around!”

“Well,” Johnny calls, his sword bouncing off of his hip. “It’s a good thing you’re not, then, isn’t it, you bonnie little thief? Your husband would be dead and all of his coin in your dirty pockets!”

“Stop calling me a thief!” You send a closed-fisted slap to the top of his head, and he grunts, balking to the side. “Learn how to handle a fucking lady!”

“Lady?” He breathes heavily, shoving into another bush as leaves get tangled in his hair—twigs stuck in yours as you scowl rabidly. “If you’re a lady, Bonnie, then I’ve got a beast waiting for me back at my ceremony.”

—

He stopped when the light of the sun was low, and your constant attack of his spine left an array of large, fist-shaped bruises on his skin.

“Easy,” John grunts, dropping you with a huff to a down-turned stump.

It isn’t long before you shoot back up, hands clawing for his throat. “Hells Bells!” The man ducks, boyish glint in his eyes as he darts to the side, stepping out of the way as you stumble on tingly legs.

“I’m going to skin you alive,” you yell. “Piece of utter dog shite!”

“Now that’s a bit strong,” John breathes, panting from his mad run for his single life. “Don’t you think?”

You take one step forward, and he takes two back—stuck in a game of cat and mouse. Your eyes are like tiny fires, illuminated with only anger and hatred.

“Give me one reason why I should even attempt to help you,” your screams rise above the trees, hands splayed as John puts his hands to his knees, taking down breaths as sweat dribbles down his neck into his vest. “You-you,” your tongue fumbles, “kidnapper!”

“Technically, it would be an abduction, Dearie.” You slap him across the face and see the man’s cheeks go red from the blow. Shoving your nose nearly right into his, you sneer.

“Correct me again, and it’ll be your balls I hit next.”

He swallows, blinking, before he smirks and pairs it with a chuckle as his eyes spark. “Yes, Ma’am.”

You growl as he holds up his hands, moving one to rub at the back of his neck and itch at the shaved portion of his scalp. That damned smirk—you despised it.

“Get me to the closest port,” John settles, getting to business as his expression mellows out. “And I’ll make it worth your while, I give you my word.”

“What?” You laugh, shaking your head in exasperation the longer the silence falls; realizing how serious the man is. “Oh God in Heaven, this has to be a joke.”

“Anything you ask for, you can have from me when this is over,” he sighs, crossing his arms over his chest and shifting his mud-caked shoes. “I don’t need more than the fee to secure a spot on a good ship sailing away from here, and whatever is left I’ll give to you if you want it. You win in this situation, and I’m not trying to hide it from you.”

Your sharp eyes hone in, unwavering in its heat.

“Christ,” Johnny breathes, “I’d even give you my damn socks if that’s what it takes—I need to get out of here. Quickly.”

You stare, sneering. “Is your betrothed a damn witch or what?”

Blue eyes blink, and his words are firm as they meet air. “Are you taking up my offer or not, Cat-Eyes?”

“Of course, I’m taking the offer!” You bark ruthlessly, rolling your eyes as you kick at the dirt. Rocks and grass fly as darkness settles heavier. “I’m not a fool.”

“Well,” he sighs in relief, looking to the shadows along the ground. “I can’t say you’re that, either, but you are certainly something.”

You narrow your eyes at Johnny but don’t waste your time any longer as you turn and study what you can see.

You had grown up here—in this land. The woods knew you just as much as you knew them. Already you could pinpoint a general map of this section based on the large cracked boulder to your right, and the tiny cluster of trees across the way. You knew the way to town, and from there, the port.

“It’s a three-day walk,” you grumble, side-eyeing the man as he moves to lean against a trunk. He wouldn’t be moving through the night—you didn’t complain on that front either. “You grab at me like that again, and I’ll—”

“Let me guess,” Johnny raises a brow. “You’ll hit me in the balls.”

Your thin lips tell him all he needs to know.

Shuffling past him, you frown and pull your wrapping closer, shuffling your chin into it. No fires for warmth, you know—not with people on your trail.

“I want an explanation,” you turn and dig into him, walking closer as John looks to the side. “If I’m sticking my neck out, I want answers as well as coin.” Poking him in his chest, you force your neck to find his gaze. “Why are you running?”

Johnny sighs, licking his lips as he nods with a low, “Fine.”

You tilt your head, and John moves back to sit against the stump, moving out his hands in an honest display.

“I was told I needed to marry and produce heirs if my house was going to survive, aye?” He states, and you know the story well. “My parents are gone, and my sisters are all married, but my estate is barren of anyone besides myself and the staff. To keep the peace, I gave my word that I would join into a union to secure my assets for my bloodline.”

It was all so formal, the talk of a wife and children—you never understood it. Why couldn’t people simply marry who they love and leave it at that? All this bloodline and assets. Don’t they ever get sick of it?

“What’s your last name, then,” you ask. “McDuff? Mackenzie?”

“MacTavish,” John shakes his head, rubbing his hand up and down the back of his neck. Blue eyes stay with yours. “John MacTavish, I have lands to the North.”

Your brows tighten, arms going to cross themselves. “You’re running from your home because of a union you can freely exit?”

“It isn’t free,” he grumbles, shaking his head firmly and setting his jaw. “My father’s wishes for his children were written down and sealed. I was to marry a daughter of Arthur Campbell when I came of age.” John chuckles face going a bit pink. “As you can see, I’m a good few years past that.”

You tilt your head, and while Johnny was certainly passed the normal age of a male in his position to be wed, it struck you as odd as to why he didn’t want to be in the first place. In marriage during these times, a man has little to lose when joined. Almost nothing else changes for them except another title is added to their long line of others already living under him.

John continues, and you stay your snake-like tongue for now. “Wasn’t until I learned that by now, Mr. Campbell’s second born daughter, who was the only one near my age, had passed nearly an entire year ago—leaving only the oldest behind.”

“And?” You hum, intrigued to see where this goes. Johnny itches at his chin, scratching the stubble that lives there along with the dirt and grime. “What, I’d imagine the head of the Campbell family wanted to uphold the arrangement?”

“Aye, they did,” John grunts, nodding. “Fiona Campbell was the woman I was set to marry today.” He pauses, sighing heavily before looking to the side. Darkness had set, and there was little light by way to see the expression of guilt growing on his face. “I’m not lyin’ when I say I didn’t want to make such a mess of it, but there’s only so much a man can do when he learns his bride is not only twice his age,” John breathes, grunting, “but also just…” He stops himself, sighing.

You frown, gut swirling.

“She was blank, do you understand?” Johnny asks, motioning a hand in a display of unknowing explanation. “All she seemed to care about was children and wealth. A slate waiting to be filled with someone else’s thoughts and ideas. I didn’t want to be the one to fill it—I’ll not be some husband that runs a wife around like a dog. That isn’t right to me; it wasn’t how I was raised.”

Your mind twists on itself with an indefinable feeling—skin tight to your bones as if taken and tied by ropes. Your heart pumps blood a little harder, but just because this man seems less of a bastard doesn’t mean you like him. He’d dragged you into this hunting party of his grand problem, and the sooner you got your payment, the better and easier it would be to disappear.

“How noble,” you huff, rolling your eyes. Yet, your voice is hiding an under-the-breath shock. “So you bolted into the woods?”

Johnny rubs at his nose bridge, growling in annoyance. “Yes—it was the best cover I had. Been going through the trails since sunrise.” He slaps his hands to his knees and stands back up with a grunt and an ache in his thighs. His sarcastic voice peels the shadows. “Are we satisfied, now, Bonnie?”

“I won’t be until you’re out of my sight,” you level, moving forward. “So are you going to bed so I can drag you to the port or not?”

John’s body is heard shifting as you slip down the trunk of a tree, backside hitting grass as you settle in for a restless sleep—pulling your wrap tighter over your shoulders. Here you were: weaponless and in the company of a runaway groom still in all of his finery.

You wanted that damn boar broach.

“Sleep’ll be smart, we need to be up early,” John says seriously, his shoes shifting the leaves. Letting the chill seep in, you burrow into your fabrics and glare ahead. Johnny’s sly voice is so reminiscent of yours, that you have to wonder if the two of you were cut of the same cloth. “I won’t be opposed to a cuddle if you get chilly, Little Lady—”

“I should have stabbed you when I had the chance.”

Johnny’s low chuckles waft over the air, and then the silence settles fully.

Yet, you’re up far later than you anticipated…and you find this honest man’s confession to be bouncing inside of your skull like an enraged bird.

—

“Christ, did I do that?” A finger is pressed under your chin, tilting your head up as you strangle a gasp at the sudden motion.

Johnny looks at the tiny cut along your neck from the edge of his sword—the barely-there irritation of the skin that you’d been itching at as you walked forward through the trees.

He frowns, glancing into your eyes as your body stills at the feeling of warm flesh.

It was the first day of walking, and the silence between the two of you had stayed. Not only were you annoyed at the situation, but also John’s story—you’d been mulling it over since last night.

But below that anger, you might have even felt a little wrong.

“Who else?” You sigh sarcastically to the man, trying to hide the rising flood of heated shock. Thick digits drag along your esophagus slowly in study, and John’s face creases the longer he looks. He’s hunched near you, too—and you can smell the low scent of leather and earth.

Johnny pulls back with a huff and slips a hand into his sporran. Your eyes watch with blatant distrust until a relatively clean rag is taken out by a steady hand.

He motions with it. “Come ‘ere. Let me get the dirt out of it before it gets infected, eh?”

You sigh lowly but decide it’s a good idea at the very least before nodding—John’s fingers return as the light from above leaks through the branches. The morning was cold, but not unreasonable; the woods gave shelter from the otherwise abusive wind of the open country.

“Look at that,” you breathe, “The first nice thing you’ve done for me.”

“Ah,” John lightly glares. “Not quite right—I carried you away instead of making you run with me.”

Your eyes roll, and Johnny’s chuckle echoes off the surroundings.

“Such a gentleman,” you grumble, feeling the rag press into your throat and the soft scrape of it across your scratch.

“So,” the man hums, blue eyes stuck to your flesh as he takes care of it far more nicely than you’d imagined someone to be. “Seeing as I’ve shared my sob story, Cat-Eyes, I think I’d like to ask after yours.” His voice is full of amusement. “As we’ll be keeping one another company.”

“It’s less as in-depth than yours,” your fingers twitch as Johnny moves back after the cleaning is done—returning the rag to his sporran as he blinks.

“I don’t believe that,” he raises a brow, as you ignore the remembrance of his touch and continue, paving the trail as the dark-haired man follows a close distance behind. “Can’t say there’s many times I’ve seen an unwed woman wielding a bow and thieving someone out of their money. I’ve seen a lot of things, Bonnie,” he laughs, “but never that. Scared the hell out of me when you dropped down.”

“You can add me to the top of the list, I suppose,” you puff a teasing breath. After an expecting pause in the conversation, you grow bored of the nothingness.

“I’ve lived out here my entire life—I do what I have to. That’s all there is to it.”

John’s face gradually pulls into itself, only looking away from you to glance at the path to make sure he won’t fall.

“No family?”

“None,” you tilt your head, shimmying under a low branch and pushing leaves off your shoulders. They sway to the ground softly as you brush an arm over your forehead, sensing Johnny’s attention.

The man grunts. “M’sorry.”

Your feet stumble for a moment, pace faltering, until you cover it up easily. You turn to stare, narrowing your eyelids as open blues watch silently. John’s shoulder brushes yours.

“It’s life,” you blankly answer. “Least I wasn’t married off. Where you had to worry about a blank slate, I had to worry about becoming a broodmare for a man who most likely would never love me.”

Johnny licks his lips, eyes darting to the ground. “Can’t imagine you like that,” he mutters, but it isn’t some joke—he’s truthful.

“Perfect,” is what his ears twitch to. “Because I’d sooner act like you and bolt from my wedding as well.”

“Would that make me the thief in your story, then?” Johnny asks, chuffing as he smiles towards you, reaching a hand above him to push another branch out of the way—separating it from your form as you bend under. “I’m tellin’ you, I wouldn’t be very good at it. All that dropping down from trees would have my knees screamin’. Not that they don’t already.”

Your laugh pierces his chest, and the man sends a kind if not a bit startled, show of interest to you. It sounded like a bowstring slapping a wrist—harsh and telling all at once: something to be known and understood even if heard only once.

John blinks at you, and his heart patters along in his chest.

“I think it would be more fun to think about you with a dagger,” you narrow your gaze at him, smiling. “A small thing like that would disappear in your hands, Johnny Boy.”

“Disappear?” He tilts his head, raising his hands to hover in front of him. “Ah, they’re not that big, are they?”

You shift, and, nearly without thinking, you slip your hand to sit above his. Johnny makes a noise in the back of his throat, eyes going wide as you reference the size of his grip under yours, but allows you to regardless. A blue gaze slides to your face, openly imploring, before they dart back down to your shared hands as the roughness of his callouses scraped against your flesh.

“Care to compare?” You smirk, lifting a brow.

Johnny’s lips parted quickly, blinking a few times as he tried to find the words to accompany his running mind. He clears his throat, but the small sheen of red pigment on his cheeks is undeniable.

Laughing, you detach the connection and pull ahead, leaving the man behind as he stutters with a fast pulse.

“You’re the strangest woman I’ve ever met,” is what he decides minutes later, a large grin on his face—he was enjoying this, for whatever twisted and flawed reason, he was. John’s adrenaline was pumping, his heart was pounding, and his feet were passing over the earth, yet, even better, his brain was sparking at a mile a minute for the woman who walked only three feet ahead of him. He watches you take these trails like an expert, not having to look down at your feet as stone and wood are passed as if you were water above them, whispering and nearly silent.

“At least I’m not boring.” Your eyes meet him, and in them, they create some horribly beautiful amalgamation of twin flames—two sparking fires that feed from the same ember. “You would never catch me becoming a housewife, Johnny Boy.” Your gazes never break. “There are far too many things to steal in this country, and so very few men who can keep up.”

John’s chest moves in the beat of his pulse—his attention wholly transfixed upon the sight of this wild-born woman whom he’d only met yesterday. There were leaves in your wrap, and brown-black mud coated up to your ankles, even sweat sitting at your temple, yet you moved with grace befitting a Lady: never seeming to tire of jokes or firm surety. Yet…you weren’t cruel—you weren’t without purpose.

Any accomplished thief would have just stabbed him and taken what they needed in your house. You offered John water, however, you chose to give him a chance to comply. It was such a small thing in the grand scheme, but Johnny was always one to analyze how one feather on a bird can affect the flight pattern, so to speak. One action that speaks volumes.

You liked creating games, and, lucky for him, John loved to solve them.

And that glint in your sharp-slitted eyes was becoming more and more enjoyable every second, he found.

Pushing back the strands of his wayward hair, John keeps up with you for every step, not unfamiliar with how to traverse unsteady terrain. He wasn’t lying in what he told you—he had spent most of his life in the forest beside his home: hunting, fishing, riding. There wasn’t an activity he didn’t enjoy when he was outside, though his mother was always heavy on him about the mess he brought back.

Blue eyes drop back down to your dirt-laced pants, and the man can’t help but give his best, lip-pulling smile.

Hell, if he didn’t know any better, he would say that you were something that made so little, and at the same time so much, sense to him.

“Well, maybe they just aren’t accustomed to hiking, Little Cat-Eyed Thief.”

There was something special in the glances you two would throw one another.

—

Your hands dip into the clear water, fingers open to feel the current drag through them gently.

“If you want a sip,” you say, cupping the liquid and bringing it up to your lips, “it’s safe. This river flows down from the hills—not perfect, but there’s only a small chance it’ll make you sick.”

John comes up and hums as he sits down beside you, folding his legs under him and leaning forward to submerge his arms up to his elbows in water. He sighs, and you hear the river gurgling as the man begins to rub up his flesh, getting rid of all the grime.

“Good to know.” Blue eyes spare you a look as he continues. “What’s this one called?”

“Woodney river,” you answer. “Old Man Jack Woodney ran a water wheel on this river a long walk West. If this place had a name before that, it won’t tell.”

Johnny washes his face, scrubbing at his stubble as the scratch of it plays in the side of your ear. You watch along the opposite shore, eyes going from trees to birds—even to the shadows of fish that quickly swim past. Sighing, you have to admit the beauty of this adventure. There were few times you could say you’d gone this far into the woods with no wealth to trade in with the townspeople.

You side-eye John and study him just as heavily as you do a wild animal.

He wasn’t unattractive, you admitted. Strong—sturdy. Johnny was capable in a way that most Lords wouldn’t be, some, you guessed, would already be complaining about the uncomfortableness of their clothes or the flesh of their blistered feet. But John was bright-eyed; more than once you’d seen him actively watching the stretch of the trees for any sign of his pursuers. He never complained. Not once.

“You’re not as insufferable as I thought you’d be,” you say. Frowning, your hands push back into the water and cup some of the chilled liquid. You let it drip before you extend your hand to your neck and feel your eyes droop in relaxation.

Johnny laughs, staring at you for a minute as he slowly raises a brow. His face shows amusement.

“Am I supposed to be insulted or not?”

“I leave that for you to decide.”

John cracks his knuckles and shakes his head as he stands. “C’mon,” he drags, but the smile in his voice is clear. A hand is set in front of yours. “Sooner I get out the port, the sooner I’m out of your hair.”

Your face softens slightly.

“Am I ever going to get an apology for being tossed like a sack of potatoes?” Skin meets skin as you slip your hand into his, and the man pulls you to your feet as you smile. Calluses brush yours, and yet again, you find you enjoy this game—perhaps more than any other you’d played before.

And you don’t understand why.

Johnny’s fingers are firm over yours, curling as water drips to the ground below in reflective droplets, and you think back to the first time you’d met him—panting breath and rapid eyes. Your eyes glance to that boar broach, and find it attached to a man that is suddenly more of a mystery than a closed book.

“Easy,” John mutters, steadying you by your shoulders as you remember where you are. The dark-haired man squeezes your flesh and looks into you.

Blue eyes glint, and that smirk, you find, is always followed by a tiny tint of his head. “And what’s that look for, Cat-Eyes?”

“You called me strange.”

John’s brows furrow. “Aye. I did.” He looks you up and down slowly. “You are.”

You do the same to him, not wasting more than a moment. “And I find it funny that you haven’t said the same thing about yourself. You’re far more strange than I’ll ever be.”

“Guilty,” Johnny smiles, nodding slightly. His hands are still on you, and he doesn’t seem to even notice. “I don’t think a normal one would fuck off from his own wedding, would he?”

“Or kidnap a woman as a guide,” you state, pulling out of his warm hold even as your stomach flips as you brush past

“Again,” John’s hand motions through the air. “Abduct.”

“You’re just saying that because it sounds slightly better,” you grimace over your shoulder. “Like comparing a dog to a wolf.”

Johnny is hot on your heels, and when the river-eroded stepping stones to the other side of the water are the clear path to take, he’s already on the first and holding out his arm for you as a true gentleman would. You glance at him and hop to the first stone, liquid sloshing at your shoes.

Your smirk is stuck with his like two pieces of a quilt, and neither of you realizes it.

“You put a knife to my back first, Dearie.” John puffs and his face is right next to your ear as you both cross the stones—you lean into him and elbow his side before your arm slips into his. The man grunts, blinking as he chuckles above the slosh of water.

“So? Maybe I only point knives at the men I like.”

“Then I’d say you have every right to put one right at my throat.”

Feet move carefully over rocks and the spray of the water that coats them—a dance of wit in their own right. It was like animals circling one another, all sharp eyes and pulled lips trying to find weaknesses. Deadly flirting and addictive banter.

Where annoyance was such a common emotion, now there was a near expectation of jabs; of tantalizing quips for the glimpse of another's mind.

Neither of you could understand the other, which was exactly why you both reveled in the brush of warm flesh.

“Careful,” your feet meet the hard ground once more on the other side, and John only lets go when he knows that you don’t need him to steady you. “You’re engaged, Johnny Boy.”

Your tease slips in one ear and out the other, and the man watches you turn and begin walking again with sly eyes. John’s wide gaze stays stuck there for a moment—mouth eager to continue any conversation given. Watching you walk, his heart beats speedily.

“I think my, ah, reputation has all but ruined my chances on that front—”

There’s something unique about the sound of an arrow sinking into flesh that can’t really be forgotten. John had heard it many times—even been behind the bow that shot it; the slap of the string across his forearm, the set of his shoulder blades widening until the arrow disappeared.

But there’s something worse knowing that the sudden expulsion of air from lungs, in fact, belongs to you and not some wild animal.

You’re hit in a fraction of a second, down on the ground in less than that—your mind not even understanding above the immediate pressure and the slam of earth. You gasp loudly, and then the pain hits.

Hand snapping to your left bicep, your eyes slash down to stare as grass and mud fly into the air, rabid sounds escaping the back of your throat at the image that strikes you. An arrow was stuck deep into your skin—sticking out as blacked feathers flutter at the end of the shaft. The adrenaline hits rapidly, but the expression of horror still remains.

“Cat-Eyes!” Johnny yells, rushing forward, and unsheathing his sword, the sound of metal on metal harsh, but not as harsh as the sound of blood in the man’s ears.

You see the swelling of crimson, and, from under your fingers, the red of blood slips as your breathing gets hoarse. Biting into your lip, the quick sound of an under-the-breath groan of agony ripples.

But you’re not stupid.

Scrambling to your feet with the arrow still poking out of you, Johnny gets to you and pushes you behind him just as your shaking legs straighten—-your eyes slashing the woods in panic. Pain can wait.

The runaway groom spares you quick glances, pushing you further behind as his raging gaze darts this way and that. He yells into the trees, anger and order infecting his voice, “Show yourself!”

Just as suddenly, there’s a relieved call and a moving shadow. You clench your eyes tight and grit your teeth as a wave of pain rockets through you.

“Fuck,” you grind out, lost under the louder voice. Blood drips to the ground.

“My Lord!” Men burst through the leaves, bows, and swords aloft. “Quickly—to us!”

Johnny’s face is stiff; there isn’t an ounce of care, but the flash of recognition is swift, and in his chest, his heart, once beating so quickly, drops to his stomach.

Knights. His knights. Christ, the two of you hadn’t been fast enough.

“Stand down!” John spits, and cares little now for the thought of robbery or assault on his person—these men wouldn’t hurt him, but they were tasked to bring him back. “Fucking bawbags, the lot of you.”

His sword is sheathed by twitching fingers, and no sooner were those digits around you instead.

You pant hoarsely, face tight as your vibrating body tells you to run—eyes locked onto Johnny’s, the man in front of you ushers you over to the trunk of a tree hurriedly, uttering, “Just breathe now, Dearie—listen to me. It’s alright, aye?”

“What is this?” You raggedly push out, flinching as your spine meeting the bark jostles your arm painfully.

Your teeth grit, tears collecting in the corner of your vision.

“Knights,” John mutters as if his words are chased by wolves. “They’re after me—probably thought you were either holding me hostage or trying to lead me into an ambush.” The colorful fabric of his pinned tartan is dragged off from over his shoulder and shoved into your weeping flesh, and you lightly moan in agony, head falling back to the tree.

Tears slip from over your cheeks.

“Easy.” John’s concern is palpable. Worried eyes dart from your face to your wound. “Jesus,” he utters under his breath, anger flashing.

“Who is this?” One of the knights asks, taking a step forward as Johnny holds the fabric to your wound and speaks to you lowly, utterly ignoring the people behind him.

“I need to break the shaft off, okay?” Blue eyes try to keep even, and John’s other hand captures your cheek. He levels your face right in front of his, breathing lowly. The man clears his throat as your tight gaze flutters, tightening his grip. “Hey,” Johnny breathes. You grunt, voice a low grind.

“Just make it quick.”

John’s lips thin. “Yes, Ma’am.”

His large hand swiftly moves to the arrow, gripping around it just where flesh meets wood, you hiss loudly, spitting and raging as your vision partially blackens. Pain sparks up and down your spine, racing like a cat after a mouse.

“Lord,” one knight tries again, coming closer and reaching out for Johnny’s shoulder. “We need to get you back to Castle Campbell—we’ve been hoping to find you unharmed for your future wife’s comfort. Everyone is in a panic!”

“I’ll count down to three,” Johnny whispers to you, breathing heavily as he swallows and steady himself, hand lightly clammy. He wished he had his hunting gloves with him, but this was the best he could do. “Eh,” the man grunts, eyes steady, “You listening, Bonnie?”

“I don’t care what you count to,” you nearly bark, orbs flashing. “Just break the damn thing off—!”

The wood snaps with a defining splinter, and your scream afterward has the man having to hold you up with his arms around your waist, muttering into your ear with his lips against the shell.

“It’s alright, you’re alright,” John hears the clatter of the shaft to the grass just as the knight’s hand is heavily placed on his shoulder. “Breathe. M’right ‘ere.”

You sag into Johnny taking in the scent of sweat, blood, and dirt—the musk that stays even as your ears start ringing and the voices start getting louder.

“Best get your hands off o’ me before I break ‘em, Mate” Johnny grunts from deep in his chest, shifting your body to the side and effectively ripping his flesh out of the knight’s hold.

All the others shift nervously—hands on their swords and looking back and forth between the strange scene.

Who were you? A mistress? A bandit luring their Lord away? Why was he with you out here; going in the opposite direction of where the ceremony was supposed to take place? They’d been given orders, and a knight is no good unless he can follow them.

John MacTavish was needed, and their duty was to see it through.

Johnny’s tartan had fallen to the ground behind the two of you, getting kicked by feet as they shuffle and as your blood slips off of your limp fingers. Mind failing, your pain-addled form shakes even as the knowledge of imminent danger is present.

You needed to figure out a way to get out of here.

Pushing your head up from Johnny’s shoulder, your eyes flutter but manage to analyze what little you can see clearly—adrenaline can take care of most of your agony, only leaving a dull ache as your heart continues to rage.

A group of four knights have their hands on their swords, and all of their eyes are on John.

Run, a deep part of you urges. Your legs are still good. Take off—none of them know the terrain like you do. You’ll be free.

You pant, your nostrils flaring with every breath as your sweat trickles off your jawline. Johnny’s grip on you tightens, head shifting back and forth, unknowing where to anchor itself, not understanding which is more important—your state, or your safety.

Free, free, free.

Your mind flashes to an empty house: silent woods. How you would go months without seeing another human face, but that was your own choice.

Wasn’t it?

Your eyes slip to Johnny.

“We’ve been tasked with bringing you back, My Lord,” the first knight says, looking heavily upon the runaway. “We have our orders. Please understand.”

“And I’m telling you your orders are utter shite,” John spits. “So back the fuck up and drag yourself out of this place. Now.” He glares, teeth snapping. “Those are my orders.”

Your arm is numb, and your chest expands as it sits on John’s own. And you think.

You knew you were a selfish person.

There was no debate about it—even when you’d stolen enough coin to feed you for weeks, there was still a part of you that longed for some chase; some challenge to your senses. You liked stealing. You liked the looks on people's faces when they realized they were being swindled for every valuable item they had in their possession. But there was something you liked even more than all of that—a challenge.

Johnny, to you, was that challenge. He was the largest challenge you’d ever faced. A Lord who was running from a bride, a man who held his beliefs higher than praise or standing…a blue-eyed stranger who matches your poking jabs word for word.

“Damn,” your growl, and John takes it as an exclamation of pain.

He grits his teeth and studies you, opening his mouth as his concern grows at the smell of blood.

“We need to tie it off,” he utters. “Bastards made me drop the tartan—I’m sorry, Dearie.”

Your lips are near his ear.

“When I say ‘go,’ run to the left.”

Johnny halts, attention snapping down. His fingers flinch around you, face open until the mask of sudden knowledge flies over it like a curtain. But it’s gone just as quickly—hidden by intelligent eyes that glint.

He doesn’t question you, and, in the crux of your shoulder, you get a near-infinitesimal nod from Johnny’s head.

The guards grow suspicious, all mulling closer by the second the longer you two remain so close—on opposite ends, you feel your heart mirroring John’s in a rapid and ravaging pulse: Thump-thump, thump-pump, thump-pump-thump.

Your attention is split three ways.

One: the rising numbness of your limbs and the heat of your brain. Two: the spread of Johnny’s panting breath across your sweat-slick skin and his hands tightening. Three: knights and the clatter of their armor. How they slide their hands across their weapons like intimate partners—the tension building in a hemp bowstring and the sound of arrows hitting off one another; one taken and played with between fingers so similarly to how you would act.

Your tear-stained eyes glare at the knight who’d shot you, your expression building into an act of hatred.

They take a step forward.

“Cat-Eyes—” Johnny begins to warn slowly.

“Go.” Your words are no shout. They don’t echo off the trees, which all hold their breeze in expectation, they don’t ring in ears except the ones of the man holding you. But they’re like the personification of a sword strike—like the release of an arrow and the impending thump of it hitting home.

The knights dash forward with calls for their Lord to stand down, but John’s already flinched away with a heavy grunt.

You do the same, your plan already formed—you would run the opposite way as Johnny, only slipping off when the cover of bushes had enshrouded the both of you to create two sets of tracks. With any luck, the guards would break off into two groups and pursue the both of you, and you could easily lose yours.

From there, circle back and find John: get your bearings before—

Arms never detach from your waist, and you’re once more tossed into a strong grip.

Eyes bugging, your focus breaks as gravity leaves and your head goes light. Johnny dashes away, and, just as the last time, you’re in his boar-like hold.

“You idiot!” You bark, the only difference to your predicament now is that you’re held in a bridal grip and not slung over his sweaty shoulder. There was only a small sliver of relief before the annoyance overtook you.

Johnny’s body crashes through the leaves, the shouts of the knights following as he gruffly raises his voice to the wind. The trees shake with amusement.

“Thinking you could hand over some directions, Dearie?!”

“Thinking you could put me down?!” You shout back, your arm sparking with pain as your opposite wraps the man’s neck firmly. “Damn.” Your lips twist in response. “My legs work just fine, you know—I wasn’t shot in the arse!”

“Acting like you were,” John grumbles, a branch slapping his cheek before you can. Despite it all, he chuckles wholeheartedly at his own joke.

An arrow whizzes through the air, and you yelp, ducking behind his body even more as your skull fits under his jaw. Your eyes snap to the visible terrain as Johnny’s legs push from one side to the other, running in a zig-zag pattern to avoid any more injuries.

“There,” your brows rise, fighting past the pain to find the familiar slash of a gnarled willow tree that whizzes by in brown and dark green.

Your head rises to see more of the woods, only to be pushed back down by an all-expansive hand as John utters a fast-breathed and firm, “Not the best idea.”

He shoves through brambles, and the sounds of rampaging knights are gaining. The second John sloshes through a low pool with a loud curse, you know instantly where you two are.

“Take a left near the overhang with vines coming down!”

“That one?”

“Yes!”

And so this game continued long after the knights had been lost to the woods, stumbling about without any sense of where they were, and the two of you came to a panting halt an hour later. Deep night was setting in on the second day, and, as your shaky feet hit the ground, John kept a heavy eye on you.

“Steady,” he mutters, sweat pouring off his face; saturating his clothes. He worriedly stares, looking you up and down.

Your vision swirls, the glade around you the exact place you both needed to be. There were hills here—surrounded by thick trenches carved by rivers long dried. The stars were out, and the moon was shining down; one thin trickle of a river was feet away, the sound of water on rocks addictive to your pounding ears.

All of it was null to the way your gut flipped at the humming agony of your arm.

Your hand snaps to the puncture and the flood of blood is enough to leave your fingers dripping with crimson glinting in moonlight.

There’s a heavy ripping sound, and then you find yourself sitting down in the grass as Johnny shoves the torn fabric of his suit into the small river. You hear the splashing as you glance down at your arm before rapidly looking away, biting at your lip as your spine hunches.

“Christ almighty,” you growl, glaring to the side as your fingers quiver. Tears well.

“The arrowhead is keeping pressure,” John hurries to speak, trying to distract you just as his own exhaustion is bare to see. The rung-out fabric is looped around your arm, tying off until you have to strangle down a scream at the tightness on your flesh. “We have to keep it there until there’s enough sterile material to fix it up.”

“Your knights are pieces of work,” you hiss, more from the wound than anything.

John gives a little look, blue eyes darting up until falling.

“Aye, they are.” His strong jaw clenches. “This shouldn’t have happened, Dearie.”

You stare as he finishes up, and you feel his fingertips slipping along your arm. Your eyelids droop, closing as your nostrils suck in shaky air. You take a moment to take in the silence that follows, John’s eyes not straying as your face is illuminated.

He watches the streaks of dirt along your skin, and, in a soft attempt to fix this, he stands and moves to the river once more—cleaning his hands. Johnny takes the rag out of his sporran and wets it, coming back to your body as the grass waves back and forth.

“Let me…” the man says slowly, and your eyes open back up as the chilled item is pushed to your cheek.

Wide orbs staring forward, you swallow as John concentrates on cleaning your skin carefully.

“Infection is my immediate concern,” the man says with a sigh, yet continues as your tongue stays tied; face growing more heated by the second. “But you mentioned it takes three days to the town, aye? That’s not unmanageable with two already under our feet.”

Blood, dirt, and sweat slip away with every drag of the fabric, and, stuck into his suit, that boar broach still sits—crooked now, but still there.

Your attention is momentarily taken by it, and your fingers twitch before you notice how very close John’s face is to yours.

The man focuses, relaying a plan as you’re stuck mute; your arm holding its own heartbeat as the grass shifts.

“I’ll use what I have to get you into a doctor. Make sure there’ll be no problems before I get going.” John blinks, tilting his head. “‘Course, that’ll decrease the amount you’ll get in turn.”

“Fortunately for you,” you breathe, voice strained, and blue eyes stick to yours. John pauses, brows slightly pulling up on his face. “I value my own life too much to complain about a man paying for my care.”

John’s rag stays where he placed it, right on the swell of your cheek as, this close to one another, you can see the scar on his chin—one that curves to the muscle and bone.

He was handsome, make no mistake about it. You knew it; you understood it. A lord with morals and the smarts to go along with the strength—now that was utterly unheard of. You liked that, truthfully. Someone who could think, and plan.

And, of course, follow directions.

“You’ll be fine,” John mutters, glancing to the side, yet his head doesn’t move back. He clears his throat with a sigh.

You roll your eyes, moving out and grabbing his hand with the rag. Johnny’s expression startles, arm tensing as you steal the dripping fabric from him. Water runs down your neck.

“I know I am.” You huff, smiling.

You push the rag onto his own face, and begin your cat-like approval of his character, washing away the grime just as he had your own. A blue gaze stays firmly on your flesh, the man’s shoulders loosening until he’s sitting just in front of you. Verident grass whispers in a language like a soft breeze, and you study Johnny’s skin until everything becomes a mosaic of scars and blemishes—stories woven into sinews holding as much history as the tines on an elk or the chipped tusks of a boar.

Two days and he’d become even more of a mystery than he had been before. Or maybe he always had been, and now your previous contentment had grown into an addictive curiosity.

He’d called you Cat-Eyes.

You couldn’t love a title more—not even if Lady were on the table.

“I settle my scores,” you grunt, tilting your head as you push back mud from his forehead, leaning in. “You wash my face, I wash yours.”

“Literally, then?” A sarcastic eyebrow makes you huff.

“Is that not what I’m doing, Johnny Boy?”

“Seems so, Cat-Eyes.”

Your matching glares hold no venom.

Smirking, you lean back after the last swipe at his forehead, pushing Johnny’s skull back as he chuckles, moon-lit visage something you would see scrawled on the parchment of an old story-teller's sketches. A man not made for this age.

Your face softens slowly, and it is a strange thing sitting atop the sharpness of your eyes.

John’s chuckles fade, and his breath catches in his throat.

“You’re an odd fellow, John MacTavish,” you say, here, with blood from an arrow wound drying to crack along your skin.

Your head tilts, eyes narrowing.

John’s lips slowly pull upwards, and the water on both of your faces drips to the listening earth. This place is alive with possibilities, and all of them stem from the growing draw of twisted human souls.

A just Lord and a cunning thief.

A sharp-eyed cat and a strong-bodied boar.

A future and a past—riddled with arrow marks; long sword slashes.

“Well…then I’m thinking we make quite the pair, Bonnie.”

—

The third day was spent on the latter half of the journey. Re-correcting the course and giving the best directions you could with the numb ache of your arm spreading up your shoulder.

But the town came easily as the midday sun rose to crest your heads.

“Want to lean on me?” Johnny asks, standing close by, but you’re already shaking your head.

“Feels better to keep myself focused,” you mutter, grimacing. You look at the entrance to the town, and as you both walk it, the stares are immediate—shocked residents looking at the haggard appearance of two individuals.

“Alright,” John sighs, side-eyeing you. “Just let me know if you’re goin’ to keel over, yeah?”

“Duly noted,” you tilt your head his way. Your lips smirk like a smug child. “You’ll catch me, won’t you?”

Johnny chuckles, shrugging his wide shoulders as his tattered finery is chock-full of brambles and leaves.

“Can’t say no to that.”

The Lord kept his promise—the doctor took the arrowhead, cleaned, cauterized the wound, and sutured you back up. For payment, as you lightly touch the bandaged section of your arm, you find your eyes freezing as a silver glinting reflects off the light through the window.

Johnny hands over his boar broach to the doctor.

Widely staring at the prize being pawned off for your health, your heart stutters in heavy greed.

No, you rapidly think. No, that was the one thing that I—

Your eyes inexplicably snap to Johnny.

The immediate thought is that he looks angry, but, the next and more accurate one, is that he looks sad.

John’s blues continue to follow the broach as it disappears into the doctor's pocket, and you see the weight fall back to his chest and arms—sitting heavy like a stone. The man’s feet shift along the ground for a moment, and he looks like he’s about to say something before he grits his teeth and shakes his head to himself. John grunts, fixing his nose.

You blink, and then your heart twists in on itself for no reason at all.

Or maybe there was a reason.

“C’mon, Cat-Eyes,” Johnny sighs heavily, tilting his head as his arms cross. “Time to see me off, then.”

He walks out the door, and your eyes follow like a loyal dog.

Standing there for a moment, your lips contort your face into a deep frown, sharp eyes gaining a sheen of light anxiety. Yet, there was no mistaking it—it had been said a million times—if there was one thing you could do, it was play a game.

Maybe you weren’t so bad after all.

“Oh my,” you mutter, putting a hand to your head and stumbling.

The doctor starts forward quickly, grasping at your un-injured arm. “Careful now, Woman. Don’t rip my sutures.”

He tells you, getting you fully up as you chuckle, placing your hands above his thigh, fingers twitching on the fabric.

“Apologies, apologies,” you mutter, retracting your hand and cupping it against your abdomen with a meek smile. “Just a little lightheaded. Thank you, Doctor.”

“Best be off, now,” the man grumbles, and you’re out the door swiftly.

Your shoes meet the cobble as you shift your hands into your pockets, shifting your body to look along after the large form that leans against the home waiting for you.

“Ready?” Johnny asks, though his attention is firmly planted on the ground five feet away, lost in thought.

“Aye,” you sigh, nodding your head to the East. “Port’s that way—let’s get this nightmare over with.”

“Hm,” Johnny agrees, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Quite the adventure for a runaway.”

“You can’t have thought it would be easy?” Your brows furrow. “You’re heir to the MacTavish lands.”

“I never said I thought it would be easy,” John moves at your side, a great hulk of honesty. He hands over his attention at last as you fiddle with the smooth item in your pocket. He huffs. “Just that it was an…experience, to say the least. One I’m not sure I’d want to go through again.”

“You’ll miss me,” you say confidently, meeting eyes with a smirk and a cocky shift to your form despite the lessening pain.

Johnny watches. He smiles, eyes crinkling. “Aye. I will.” You pause, expression stilling. The man hums, and you swear there’s something special in the way you can describe his look as delicate.

“You were the one part that I don’t regret,” he says lastly to you as if the words aren’t spears laced with poison.

Your breath gets caught in a way it never has, and John seems not to notice as he pulls ahead, muttering about him seeing the docks. The smell of salt water slaps your nostrils.

The legs under you slow until they’re stopped, and you look after the man as he begins speaking to workers along the port, asking for a spot on the large ships that sit in the water, rocking with the winds.

Your eyes trail, seeing the way he talks with such confidence—openly offering physical labor as his payment for even the dark quarters with the other laborers.

After what seems like hours of watching, you see him shake another man’s hand, and, just like that, passage is earned. He jogs back over, smiling.

You open your mouth to say something, but find the words null and void. You don’t know what to express. For once in your life, everything seems to be moving horrifically fast.

“Well,” John’s expression slowly sombers. “I suppose this is it then. I said you could ask for anything, and, I suppose,” he shifts the sword on his belt off after a moment, looking down at it. He holds the item, testing its weight. “I suppose this is all I have left.” Blue eyes slowly meet yours. “If you’ll take it.”

Always a thief, never a saint.

“I suppose it’ll have to do, Johnny Boy,” you sigh, the pain in your heart outweighing the one on your arm. “Hand it over.”

The sword is transferred and slipped to your waist. Many a man on the docks gives you strange looks, and, you find you welcome it—none could compare to the admiration in Johnny’s.

You lick your lips.

“Do one thing for me, hm?”

“Anything,” John mutters, not blinking.

You move forward, and place a firm kiss to his lips.

The man freezes, fingers twitching at his sides, before he sags and bends into you—his great hand capturing your cheek until all that remains in the sear of his heat and the scent of the earth.

You softly pull away, though not far enough as to where you can’t feel his breath on yours. Gazing into his eyes, you smile the widest you can remember.

“Don’t go running away from another wedding anytime soon. I can only save so many Lords until my reputation gets slandered.”

“You’re ruthless,” John growls, smirking as his eyes glint, looking you up and down. “Little Thief.”

He leans in for another kiss, but your hands only shift above his sporran before you dart back, chuckling.

“Always,” your hands brush his sword on your hip as you walk backward, grinning behind the strange pressure in your heart. If someone asked, you wouldn’t even know how to describe it.

John takes a step after you, face open and raw—an emotion you feel like mirroring if not for your excellent control.

Not yet.

“I’ll take care of this,” you call, patting the weapon.

“Good,” Johnny calls, taking one more step forward before stopping himself. One of the shipmates calls from the dock, and his eyes snap there with a jaw tense. He looks back at you and blinks, brows pulling in. In the heat of the moment, he exclaimed, “I’ll be back for it one day, Cat-Eyes!”

“Lovely!” You yell, back turning. “I’ll be waiting for you then. I do hope you’ll be able to get through the woods, and, please, don’t keep a woman waiting! You’re much too handsome for any of that.”

And then you’re gone.

Johnny stares at where you were, his smile large and his face heated, and after a louder call from the dock, he’s forced to turn and jog to the ship, hurrying up the board until he can stand on the swaying deck with his two feet.

He looks around, chuckling to himself, and still, his eyes shift back to land without fail; hoping for a glimpse—a small shadow.

Shaking his head at his own foolishness, the man reaches into his sporran for his rag, intent to clean and set it to dry when he’s able to get the chance to settle in. It’s one of the last items to his name no matter how pathetic.

Yet, his hands touch something far more precious.

Johnny’s body goes as straight as a tree when his fingers caress smooth metal, and, slowly, his grip pulls out the silver of his broach.

It glints in his palm as he sets it there, and his breath is stolen in one great bound of shock and confusion.

“What in the…” He already knows.

Johnny’s feet take him to the railing gently, and his body stands there—torn wedding clothes and all looking over a town that begins to move as the ship sets sail. He holds the broach carefully, not intending to let it go for an age. He just needs to lay low for a while. He needs time.

John smiles.

“I won’t keep you waiting,” he mutters to the moving homes, and he swears he sees the glint of a sword from between the buildings, and two sharp eyes digging into him.

You’re there, of course. Hidden as always.

You want your trees back, and you think that a day of sitting in your Oak is a good idea.

There’s dirt on your face again—your lips are chapped and your face is bitten by the wind; scars and blemishes that time won't heal but make all the more visible as the ages pass by on bird’s wings and cat purrs. Yet here is an action held immemorial.

A gift given freely by a thief is one to be treasured like pure gold, and the man on the ship knows that more intimately than any other as he clips the broach to himself with a hum.

You both watch the other from opposite, distant points until there’s no sun in the sky left to see with. Just a faint hope lights the way: the hope that your eyes will grace each other's visage, at the very least, just one more time in your life.

There was never a story so willing to be experienced than that of a runaway groom and his cat-eyed Thief.

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simping-berry · 2 years

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A Lover's Wrath

A/N: This a crackfic. While i was playing the archon quest this was half my mind. Also i have some fics in my drafts in the proof reading phase, probs will post it at the end of the week! (AKA i wasn't dead for months) Summary: You angy, may celestia save your lover and the others from your wrath. Warnings: 3.2 SPOILERS

You were pissed.

It took a lot of time to navigate the damn domain with its complex machinery yet it cannot stop your rage as you stomped closer to the source of your undying anger.

“How DARE he?! How DARE he do this to you?! After all you’ve done for him!” Your thoughts repeat in your mind as the elevator ascends to, what you hope, is the last room to finally see your lover.

Once the elevator stopped and the doors opened, you wasted no time and started marching towards the huge machine displayed in front of you. Any witness be damned, you weren't here for them! You were here for him and his cheating ass.

Meanwhile the 3 people that were already in the room stopped their face off as they saw a new face marching forward towards them, with eyes filled with anger. Lumine and Nahida were baffled to find another person, with no vision, in such a dangerous place that is filled with fatui personnel. How did you even manage to come here?

The robot’s faceplate opened to reveal a confused scaramouche inside. Why the fuck were you here?

“Love? What are you-” “Don't you dare call me ‘love’ Kunikuzushi!” You snapped as you stopped in front of him, making scaramouche shocked on why you were angry at him. “Kunikuzushi, you cheating BASTARD!”

“y/n what are you talking about?”

“I heard EVERYTHING, Kunikuzushi. You have the AUDACITY to call haypasia your ‘First Follower’. What am I then? A FUCKING display?” You shouted. Scaramouche was annoyed at first. This was his day to be reborn as a God. But he wouldn't let his normal attitude show in fear for the worst. Your face says it all. Anger. Hurt. betrayal. “y/n it’s not what it looks-” “Don't you even say ‘It’s not what it looks like’! I'm not BLIND kuni!”

You turned to the side and marched towards the traveler, who was bewildered at the sight in front of her, alongside Nahida. You gripped the traveler's arm and looked him dead in the eye. “Take me to that face plate or you will be the one to face my wrath.” Aether knows not to fuck with an angry significant other so he tried to find a way. But you were growing more and more angry as the traveler desperately thinked of a solution.

Scaramouche, while nervous, speaks up to at least get you out of the domain. “Y/n maybe we can talk about this when we get home”

That was your snapping point. The both of you just started shouting at each other, or rather, you shouting and Scaramouche trying to calm you down and asking for forgiveness.

Nahida can sense your overwhelming rage and genuinely fears what will happen to the balladeer even though he was the enemy at this moment. “Traveler, we should try and block them from reaching the balladeer.” Nahida suggested to which Aether agreed.

“DON'T YOU TEST ME KUNIKUZUSHI I WILL BE THE ONE TO DEFEAT YOU THIS MOMENT! I WILL MUSOU NO HITOTACHI YOUR ASS AND GIVE YOU TO YOUR HAYPASIA” You shouted as you threw multiple weapons at him.

That was when Nahida and Aether quickly tried to calm you down as Scaramouche was removing all the wires that were restricting him to come to you and explain himself. While all this was happening, Dottore was struggling to keep his laughter silent. He shouldn’t be laughing because his experiment was being delayed but at the sight of 3 powerful beings trying to stop a tiny human was a once in a lifetime sight. In the end he just laughed his heart out, which didn't go unnoticed by your ears. You squashed all the hands that were restricting you and ran towards Dottore and pulled him close to your face.

“YOU TOO, DON'T THINK YOU’RE SAFE I WILL ALSO BEAT YOUR ASS”

Well, Dottore now understands the panic the other 3 had. Your rage was something else. You were a weak tiny human but your strength and determination was inhuman, at least only at that time because of your rage. Your grip in his collar grew tighter as he started fearing for the worst.

Aether and scaramouche has to pry you off from Dottore while you keep struggling and fighting anyone you eyes lands on. And that’s how the disaster of Sumeru was stopped. (And how everyone, including Dottore and Nahida, found out about the Balladeer’s feral lover)

In the end, Scaramouche explained himself and you calmed down. At Least now he knows to never play with you or he will genuinely fear for his life.

#genshin x reader #scaramouche x reader #wanderer x reader #genshin impact #scaramouche #genshin impact x reader

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autistichalsin · 3 months

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youtube

Some of my favorite voice lines (either because of the lines themselves or because of Dave's delivery) from this collection of every line Halsin had in the game (and some he technically didn't because they weren't Halsin lines at all, but lines other characters have that they had Dave record for some reason):

5:07 "Fancy a b-oink? Indeed, you'll be hard-pressed to find a joke I haven't."

8:26 "I am Halsin. First Druid of the Emerald Grove. And I am here to VISIT NATURE'S FURY UPON YOU!" (From his revenge scene if the grove is raided- just, brilliant acting, gives me the chills every time. Give Dave an award please)

10:10 "Karlach. I am glad you can enjoy the touch of another once again. And I hope you are afforded much more time than you've been told. A lifetime and more, if I have a say in it."

17:33 "Lae'zel could not have wished for a finer companion by her side. You truly love her, I can tell. Just... keep each other safe, please."

25:05 (Tav or Durge line) "Yeah, she's not coming back."

27:44 "Shadowheart. These truths that have been revealed to you... I know they must be painful. But Oak Father as my witness, I know you are strong enough to bear them. You need not walk this path alone."

34:08 "I am sorry, Gale. You tried. Mystra was wrong to turn on you, no matter what mistakes you made in the past."

35:57 "Time can prove to be a trickster on one's recollections. What would be multiple lifetimes for others now separate me from my captivity. Perhaps I have lost perspective on what happened to me."

39:06 "Re-education. As if this sect has not mangled poor Shadowheart's mind enough already."

41:59 "I need you!"

47:08 (Shadowheart line) "Let's see what comfort we can offer a grieving mother."

47:57 "You have carried this burden for too long already. I simply do not believe that ceremorphosis is the only course left to you! Orpheus must help us." (He is so protective of the player 😭 )

52:03 "We need to be gone from here- now!"

53:10 (Tav/Dark urge line) "In my name." (Amazing acting for that line, makes me wish SO BAD we could have Origin Halsin)

1:04:13 "A mindflayer?! What foul trickery is this?"

1:04:20 "I am no stranger to the Underdark. Cruelty comes to Lolth's followers as naturally as breathing. I have seen it- experienced it." (You can tell he still holds so much grief and anger over what happened to him in the Underdark.)

1:04:32 "Do not yield, Karlach. The world has need for you yet. I have need for you yet. Please." (The way his voice breaks here just wrecks me.)

1:10:13 "Let our enemies' corpses nourish the ground!"

1:13:20 "Gale, what's troubling you? We're nearly at the end, I know it."

1:14:52 (Tav/Dark Urge line) "That's what was in there? Those little shits."

1:21:26 "You have upended nature's balance. Only your death can restore it!" (From the Halsin revenge scene.)

1:24:31 "Last Light fell because you could not control the violence in your heart. All those people perished because of what you did to Isobel. You must try harder. You must be better."

1:24:26 "There must be no more Yennas."

1:25:39 "No, it's wooden. Um. I suppose it burns if you find yourself in dire need of kindling, but I hope it does not come to that." (Referring to his whittled duck)

1:35:12 (Karlach line) "Rest in peace, Astarion. You may have been a bloodthirsty murderer, but I liked you all the same."

1:37:03 "Death is nature's final slumber. It awaits us all. Do not punish yourself over those lost, or give in to despair. Not while there are folks in need of your help."

1:40:57 "Do not yield, Karlach. Stay with us. Stay with the ones who love you." (Just breaks my heart. 😭 )

1:43:28 "You deserve so much better, but alas... I understand. Do as you must."

1:57:27 "You seem to be mumbling to yourself- aren't I enough company for you?" (To Shadowheart)

2:08:57 "GLORY?! There's no glory here! Now there's nothing here. Only shadows, and the total absence of hope!"

2:09:37 "I see. Well. Perhaps not all friendships are destined to be balanced and reciprocal. But I remain eternally grateful for having met you, all the same. Rest well."

2:13:27 "We are. Yet there is a burden to being the survivor, the witness to others' tragedies. It only grows heavier with time."

2:16:26 "You worship Shar?! That umbral witch unleashed a plague of darkness on nature! Her followers slew many of my fellow Druids!" (So much pain and anger here.)

2:20:41 "It wasn't just power this needed! It was wisdom, understanding! I suffered along with this place for years trying to understand the curse! And it seems I will continue to do so."

2:21:46 Maniacal laughter (I can only imagine this happens if you get hit with Tasha's Hideous Laughter, and this one was incredible in that it SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME LMFAO I was so creeped out. HUGE props to Dave Jones for that one.)

2:26:15 (Dark Urge line) "In Bhaal's name."

2:33:13 "Poor creature! Locked in a cage, denied her true nature. Civilization would cause her a monstrosity, yet it treats her like this?!"

2:34:54 "What are you doing?! No!"

2:39:01 "Ah, but the glory can be found in the telling! The children love tales of underdogs, facing odds most unlikely! They shall appreciate your story, trust me."

2:40:20 "The Rite of Thorns? No..."

2:42:09 "I was not here to guide them. Now they rest forever, while I carry the weight of my failings."

2:52:35 "Nature cares little for nobility- it is pure artifice. But I can still hold some respect for Wyll's accomplishment. He shall be a fine duke, I am sure."

2:53:50 "Please. Don't sully the gratitude I feel towards you by making excuses for Kagha. My choice was clear."

2:56:01 (Orin-as-Halsin) "Please, wait. I did not want this. I could not stop it."

3:19:56 "Hmm. Perhaps I can substitute the bloodlust and, well, general lust for cuddles and animals in the retelling. The children will be confused, but no matter- they will soon be asleep."

3:23:38 "I am glad to have Gale back with us. The group would be poorer without his insights- and his company."

3:27:00 "That was no killing blow- far from it. What happened?"

3:27:49 "Silvanus guard us- what have you done?!"

3:29:58 "If this is what you truly want, I shall respect your wishes. But know that you shall not die, not truly. Nature's realm shall be yours- in the air, the trees, the waters."

3:32:27 "Don't do this! Your life!" (When a mind flayer character commits suicide in the ending)

3:34:47 Pained groaning (IDK it just sounded so damn real here, I could just imagine Halsin with a giant gaping wound or something here)

3:38:53 "The machine! It's going to blow!"

3:41:12 "Come on, you useless turnip!"

3:46:43 "You can still save yourself, Karlach. You can return to Avernus- it need not be forever. Just long enough to give yourself a chance..." (His voice sounds so small and pleading here 😭 )

3:48:12 (Dark Urge line) "In Bhaal's name." (Just a really good delivery)

3:48:54 "But... friendship is no consolation trophy. I cherish the bond we have forged. Whether it should grow into something else is... not for me to predict."

3:49:20 "Vampire spawn assailing us in the night? I thought we had ample troubles as it was. At least you are safe, Astarion."

3:51:00 "I was never afforded a chance to start a family of my own- serving nature always had to come first."

3:51:07 "You thought she was an imposter- a threat. This was a trap of Orin's creation. Yenna's death is on her hands, not yours."

3:51:22 "Your rage is most impressive, Karlach. If the lesson is not to provoke your temper, consider it well-learned."

3:59:04 "Ha! I suppose I did, didn't I? I was so focused on helping Thaniel that my sense of decorum was neglected."

4:06:02 "Truly? I thought you felt the same way as me. There was a connection, I-I was sure!" (Oh my god he sounds like he's fucking CRYING here and this legitimately made me whimper out loud and hide my face. I have NEVER needed to hug a character THIS BADLY before oh my god give Dave Jones all of the awards please)

4:17:03 "Oak Father, what did I do to deserve such allies?!"

4:18:03 "This... orb. Gale carries a most dire burden. I wish he had shared it with us sooner."

4:18:58 "Time for blood!" (In bear form)

4:19:31 "Karlach has had her mortality defined to her in most cruel terms. I do not know if we can help her, but perhaps we can at least be there for her."

4:23:19 "FINE!" (He just sounds so done lmfao)

4:23:20 "And yet, she fears there are none to inherit her work, so she goes on. Long life can be a burden at times- I know that well."

4:24:45 "You shall live on. And wherever I go, I shall feel your presence, and you mine." (To Origin Karlach in the ending- this whole scene would be really beautiful if they would just fix a few things)

4:27:55 "Your power is buoyed by a sea of innocent blood! I hope you are pleased."

4:28:26 (Tav/Dark Urge line) "In my name." (Gave me chills)

4:30:59 (Tav/Dark Urge line) "What in the hells, Astarion?! You bit me!"

4:32:39 "Remember, whatever evil is trying to control you, I know you are stronger. Resist."

4:35:08 Pained groaning and cries (They just sounded so real and painful)

4:37:11 "Dominate the brain! Do it now, or all is lost!"

4:47:46 "I will not go on without you!"

4:49:18 "Perhaps try attacking the enemy!" (He sounds so done lmfao)

4:49:25 "That contraption looks set to kill you, not save you! Get clear of it at once!"

4:50:27 "A cruel blow. Astarion loved feeling the caress of the sun, only now it gouges him with its claws. Perhaps we shall meet again, beneath the shield of darkness."

4:53:23 Maniacal laughter (Truly terrifying just like the other one)

4:58:49 (Yenna line [yes really]) "Where am I? I don't like this dream!"

4:59:04 "Nature bows to none. It will fight on and survive, no matter what madness your god has inspired you to undertake."

5:03:51 "Stuck, eh? Straight out of bawdy literature."

5:09:57 "Killing Orin won't bring Yenna back, but it may give her some peace, and me... a great deal of satisfaction."

5:11:26 "No! Have you taken leave of your senses?!"

5:15:27 "This may keep the city safe, but to seal all those unfortunates away forever? Death would have been more merciful."

5:16:44 "Stay your hand, Astarion! To sacrifice so many is a tyrant's ambition!"

5:16:52 "I... cannot imagine how you are feeling, Gale. For a goddess to ask a mortal to pay such a price... I am sorry for... for your burden."

5:19:44 "Immortal... and angered. What have I done...?"

5:20:43 "The power of the bear lies within me!"

5:22:47 "In that case, nothing more needs to be said. Farewell." (Said if a player who has low approval with Halsin at the epilogue party says they have no interest in taking the olive branch Halsin extended; I like this one because he sounds like a strange combination of sad and relieved at the same time, which is such a realistic combination of feelings!)

5:26:14 "Slain and stuffed. I would like to do the same to whoever's handiwork this is." (About a taxidermy baby bear)

5:26:19 "My heart grows heavy for Karlach. She can touch once more, yet is her remaining time to truly be so short? I shall pray to Silvanus that it does not come to pass."

5:32:10 "I... cannot imagine how you are feeling, Gale. For a goddess to ask a mortal to pay such a price... I am sorry for... for your burden. Though I wish you had told us of your predicament before."

5:36:33 (Orin-as-Halsin) "I lost control. I felt the bear take over, blood-crazed. And she forced me into a cage, along with... *sobs* with children, taken from the streets." (I think this one is a slightly different version than what ended up used? The sobbing is definitely more prominent if nothing else.)

5:39:28 "I hoped my friends would save me..." (Dave manages to make Halsin's body sound dead-corpse-emotionless and yet sad at the same time.)

5:39:45 "I hoped my loved would save me..." (Same as above)

5:41:08 "Your gold and your loins. Not for me to dictate what you do with either."

5:41:20 "You were not even born when Shar's followers slew my fellow Druids, or when her shadow curse tainted the land. I can get past those... but I truly wish you had trusted me sooner."

5:52:36 "No matter how long I live, I will never get used to the cruelty that infests our world. That such evil is allowed to breathe the same air as us is an abomination."

5:57:33 (Tav/Durge line) "In my name."

6:02:56 "Of course... somehow I'd hoped for a miracle, but of course... the only miracles are those we make ourselves." (He's talking about Karlach/her engine here)

6:03:57 "I was all too eager to surrender my responsibilities towards the Grove, and now it has been sealed away from the world! Perhaps I was never meant to be Archdruid... to be a leader."

6:08:29 "NO! Cease now, before you doom us all!"

6:09:22 (Dark Urge line) "In Bhaal's name."

6:20:05 "I shall endeavor to be more tactful when trying to make friends in future."

6:22:06 "You are afraid because you are alive, and you have something to lose. Hold onto that."

6:26:58 "You will not desecrate this grove! Not while I draw breath!"

6:33:00 "This need not be a parting, so long as you fight on. You and I can each roam apart, until nature compels our paths to cross once again."

6:41:42 "I shall miss him, though I hope he proves to be a kindly god. I've had my fill of the tyrannical sort."

6:42:29 "Do as you must, as shall I. We shall meet again. It is as sure as the break of dawn, or the spring thaw."

6:44:49 "And I have been evicted from the very place I was charged to safeguard. A telling summary of my time as Archdruid, perhaps."

6:45:47 "Stay with me, my love."

6:50:36 "Do not falter, I am here!"

6:51:15 "Karlach. I am sorry. I shall not try to soothe you with gilded words, but... know that I am here for you."

#halsin #halsin silverbough #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

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beastofburdenxo · 4 months

Text

Deal of A Lifetime

Tommy's new wife has a terrible accident. He makes a deal that could change everything.

MINORS DNI 2.1k words Tags: Language, face fucking, oral sex, degradation, unsafe sex, P in V sex, cream pie, slight dom/sub vibes, slight dacryphilia, multiple orgasms

“I’m sorry Tommy.” Polly’s words rang out like a bell in his head. “There was a terrible accident. She was hit by a car crossing the street to go to work. They don’t know if she’s going to make it.” Tommy dropped to his knees cursing any deity listening to his cries. “I told her Polly; I told her not to go in today. I knew something bad was going to happen, I just knew it. I can’t lose another wife; I just can’t do it.” A few years back his first wife was shot and killed in front of him, and now this. It’s almost like a cruel prank the universe has put on Thomas Shelby. He can only be happy for a little while until everything comes crashing down. She was his saving grace in his personal storm called life, and now possibly she may be called away. Tommy stood up, a mixture of sadness and pure rage in his heart. “I must go to her Polly. Maybe I can call her back to me.” He goes outside with almost a physical storm cloud over his head. The people of the town know to stay away, not even to give their condolences. The first person stupid enough to come up to him is liable to be shot. Tommy almost wishes someone would; so, he would have something to take his anger out on.

He storms through the hospital doors, demanding to see his angel on earth. “Where is she?!” Tommy roars to no one in particular. “So help me God, where the fuck is she?!” A timid nurse takes him to her, and it is a grim sight indeed. She is lying in the hospital bed, with bandages on much of her body. She is unconscious, pain meds running through her damaged system. “It’s not looking good Tom,” Arthur comes up behind him, hand on his shoulder. “She has lost a lot of blood; Doctor’s say it’s touch and go. Most of her body is damaged in some way.” Tommy’s knees got weak at this news. “I want the driver found and cut on the spot; I don’t care who sees.” He enters her room. She looks so fragile and weak lying there. “Tommy’s here angel, I’m right here.” He gently grabs her hand. “Stay with me love, please, I need you.” With no one else around, he starts to cry. “I told you to stay home didn’t I, eh? So stubborn you are.” Tommy leans down to put his face in the crook of her neck, and just sobs. Begging and pleading with her and anything or anyone listening to stay with him. “I need you, love. Please. I love you so much, I can’t be left alone again. You are my everything, you know that? I do this all for you, fuck everyone else. I need you with me.”

Night falls, and there is no improvement. Eventually, the nurses kick Tommy out and he is forced to leave her. Threatening them was no use. Anger surfaces again in place of despair as he proceeds to punch the brick building until red leaves his vision. He slumps down against the building, face in his bloody beat-up hands. He knows what he must do. Opinions of the family be damned. Against better judgment, Tommy Shelby must go to the crossroads. He’s heard of the crossroad demon all his life. He never had much use for one until now. He knew the payment in return would be high, possibly even his tattered soul, but it was worth it in his eyes. Five minutes till midnight he stands at the crossroad, small wooden box in hand. Inside is a picture of the one he is doing this for, and a lock of his hair. Tommy digs a small hole and buries it, a small offering to call the demon. For good measure he cuts the palm of his hand and trickles his blood over the mound of dirt. And now Tommy waits. He checks his pocket watch; it is midnight on the dot. “Alright, you demon where are you? I left the offering. I know you can’t resist the smell of blood.”

Tommy hears footsteps. “Actually, it’s the smell of desperation that we can’t resist. The blood is just an added bonus.” A woman; or what used to be a woman now stands before him. Tall and graceful looking, with deep amber skin. She was quite beautiful, but Tommy knew it was just a vessel. The inside was rotten as could be. “Ahh, Tommy Shelby. The devil of Small Heath. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Her voice was intoxicating, running up his spine almost causing a tremor. “Cut the shit, demon. You know why I am here; I want to make a deal.” The demon slowly walks closer to Tommy. “Is that right? What could I possibly do for big bad Tommy Shelby? Not tall enough, are you? Trade your soul to feel like more of a man?” She finds this very funny, and she begins to giggle. Tommy’s patience is running thin. “This isn’t about me you bitch. It's my wife. She's in the hospital and it’s not looking good. Please help her.” She stops giggling. She blinks and her eyes are now solid black. Demon eyes. “Oh, poor baby. Tommy’s flavor of the month is going to die, oh no! Only a demon like me can save her.” Her voice dripping with sarcasm. “What’s in it for me? Your soul? That pathetic thing isn’t worth trading for. You have taken almost as much lives as me.” Tommy drops to his knees. “Please, I have money. I have gold. I have cocaine. Please name your price.” An evil grin crawls across the demon’s face. “Well, well, I have Tommy Shelby on his knees. She must be important for you to grovel. This is quite a pretty sight. Are you going to start crying too?”

The demon reaches down and tugs at his hair, making him look at her in her midnight eyes. “I could leave you be with your love for ten years. Then send my hell hounds after you to take you back where you belong. Make you watch her cry for you until she moves on. Have you watch as another man claims her as his own. Would you like that? She would still be alive to break your heart over and over again.” Tears form in Tommy’s eyes at the thought of her forgetting him. But she would be alive, and that’s all he ever wanted. “You say you have gold, money, and cocaine. Is your body on the table as well?” Tommy’s eyes grow big. “Are you asking to use my vessel? Possess me?” She shoves him to the ground using her unnatural strength. She straddles him, pinning him to the spot. “Well, I'll certainly be using you. You’ll be begging me to possess you before it’s over. The pleasure will be just too much for your mortal vessel.” She bends down and licks the side of his face, making him cringe. “You nasty bitch!” Tommy snarls, “This is serious and you're using the situation to get laid?!” She runs her hands along his body, “What can I say? When the opportunity presents itself, you’ve got to take it. Besides, it’s the only thing I miss about being mortal. The hot nasty sex. That’s one thing you pathetic humans get right.”

She pulls down the top of her dress, exposing her large breasts to Tommy. He turns his head, willing his body to not betray him. “Look at me Tommy.” She purrs seductively wiling him to fall prey to her. “Look at this beautiful body. Don’t you want this? I see inside you Tommy; I see your weakness. You love a willing woman, don’t you?” She slowly starts to grind against him, demanding that he participate in her sick game. “You’re not a real woman demon!” Tommy protests. “You’re using some poor vessel to disguise yourself. You are far from human you evil whore!” This angers the demon, and she slaps him across the face. “This is how it will be Tommy, give yourself up or little wifey dies. Got it? Now seal the deal with a kiss.” Tommy takes a shaky breath, knowing there is no way out now. He started this whole thing, he summoned her. Now it’s time to pay up to save his wife. He angrily grabs her face and kisses her with all he has. The deal has been made. “Now was that so hard Tommy?” The demon asks, as her hand reaches down to undo his pants. “Ahh, now here’s something that is hard.” Her hand contacts flesh and finds what she is looking for.

She slowly pulls his cock out, her eyes returning to human form. “Well, well, so rumors about you are true huh?” Tommy sits up, fed up with her mouth. He grabs the sides of her head and forces himself in her mouth. “Shut the fuck up demon. You wanted me so badly, well here the hell it is. Choke on it.” She easily slides down to the base, taking every inch of him down her throat. He growls at how well she takes him. His wife can’t even do that. “Can’t speak now, can you? Just some fucking peace and quiet with a human cock down your throat.” Tommy continues to use her throat like a toy, berating her with every stroke. “Even a demon needs a man to put her in her place huh? Still some holes that need to be filled, soul or not.” Now it is the demons turn to be sick of his shit. She grabs his hips and throws him off her. She moves faster than the blink of an eye and has him on his back again. “I only let you do that to me. I could have broken your neck, you worthless sack of shit. You are my toy to do as I see fit. Now serve your purpose and shut your mouth before I change my mind you cock with legs.” Before he can form a rebuttal, she sinks down on him in one swift motion. She may be dead inside, but she is still very warm around him. Drawing him in her web. Tommy’s mind goes blank, too drunk on her to feel angry anymore. She tilts her head back in pleasure. “Yes Tommy, this is definitely your purpose. Just a brainless hole filler, aren’t you?” She looks down at his drunken face. “Can’t even form a response, it’s like you’ve never been fucked before.” She grabs his face, “Look at me when I fuck you, Tommy. It’s just what you need, to be reminded where you belong. Underneath. Me. Servicing. Me.” Thrusting hard with every word. As much as he hates this, her words make him fall apart with a cry inside her. A woman has never spoken to him like this before and his body can’t get enough of it.

He comes inside the demon, his whole-body trembling. “Oh no Tommy, was that too much for you?” The demon feigns compassion. “Looks like we’ll have to go again, see if you can get it right this time.” Tommy tries to tell her no, that he is too sensitive. She starts up again, ignoring his pleas for a small break at least. His body ignores him too, he’s hard as iron ready to be used again. Tommy bites his lip, trying to hold in the whimpers of sensitivity turning into pleasure. “Let me hear those pathetic whimpers, Tommy. Be good for me, yeah? Be a good cock for me?” She rides him on the hard ground with all she has, and Tommy can’t take much more. “Yes, yes, I'll be a good cock for you. Yes, please come, please come, yes, I'll be good.” Tommy is blabbering, not even sure he is making sense. He doesn't know if she is really that good, or if she's just using her magic on him. He honestly doesn't care. She is just so good that his mind is melting. “Good boy, Tommy. Good boy. I'm going to come so hard; you are such a good toy for me to use, aren’t you?” Without any further warning, the demon milks him with supernatural strength, making tears fall down Tommy’s face. Her orgasm causes her eyes to blacken again as she looks down at her human toy, crying and spent with pleasure as it’s her turn to tremble and shake. Coming down from her release, she strokes his overwhelmed face. “You know, you are so pretty when you cry. I’d go again if I didn’t think it would kill you. Maybe next time.” She stands up like nothing happened between them, fixing her dress. “Your wife is awake; you might want to fix yourself up and go see her. Consider the debt paid, until I want more that is. You will be seeing me again dear Tommy.” The demon disappears into the dark, leaving Tommy wondering if the debt will be until he dies naturally, or until she kills him.

#tommy shelby #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby x fem!reader #peaky blinders

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http-paprika · 8 months

Text

what's lost / simon "ghost" riley

part one zombie-apocalypse!au / pairing simon "ghost" riley x female reader / wc 1103 / warnings brief mentions of gore and violence, minor swearing, attempted suicide.

summery during the escort to edinburgh, things don't go as ghost had planned, causing him to lose y/n

note when i saw this is just an angst filled shitshow, i mean it. like, bawled my eyes out a bit, had to write this over multiple days i was struggling.

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The air in his lungs was bitter, stale. His body was a shell of what it was, skin turning purple and yellow like a large bruising sore. It had been too long since Ghost had cried, what felt like a lifetime ago as tears blurred his vision, jagged sobs escaping his throat.

Ghost’s breathing harbors, slowing as the infection pulsed through his veins. In his final few moments of sanity, he thought of Y/N who he’d forced to run when a horde had overcome them on the outskirts of Edinburgh. The sound of her voice, the feeling of her lips against his mask warmed his heart as Ghost brought the gun up against his head. His jaw was slacked, broken in the fight, blood drooling from his lips. The words spewed out his mouth, a muddled mess as he closed his eyes and gripped the metal harshly. “I– I’m sorry.”

The gun clattered to the ground, he should’ve done it, but her face burned too painfully in his to pull the trigger. All consuming him along with the infected venom that had transformed him.

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Y/N’s laugh was like a sweet song as they continued, through the wild brush of an overgrown wheat field. Ghost couldn’t even remember what he’d said to make her laugh, but a smile tugged at his lips to hear it.

“If the outbreak hadn’t happened, what did you plan on doing with your life?” She asked him, obvious to the lump that clogs his throat.

“Didn’t exactly plan for a future.” Ghost admitted, watching her stop and frown at his response. His feet slowed to a stop, and he turned to look at her. “I’m not exactly the type who plans to settle down, have kids, and retire—nothing for me outside of the military. The outbreak didn’t really change that. Probably spend the rest of my days being worked to death by them if I’m not bitten first.”

“Oh.” It sounded so painfully bleak for him to tell her the truth, but she’d asked, and Y/N had heard worse.

“Don’t break your heart over it. You’ve still got a promising life ahead of you.” He walks back over to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Gotta make a cure, have your name known across what’s left of the UK, maybe the world.”

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Y/N can still hear her heart beating like a drum through her entire body as they check it, ensuring it’s clean from infection bites. Her cheeks were tight and dry, the crying had stopped when she’d reached the QZ, not out of relief or happiness, but because of a numb dread that’d washed over her. It had been two, maybe three hours since she’d left Ghost, the infection had either spread and he’d turned into a walking corpse. Or— Y/N shuddered, hating the ugly images that bubbled in her mind. Either result was a knife to the chest and tears threatened to spill over again.

It had been her fault that he’d been bitten, at least that’s what she’d convinced herself. Had she been more aware, more capable, Ghost wouldn’t have had to become a flesh barrier between Y/N and the undead. She’d scowled and cursed at him, anger turning into blinding grief when the realization hit, a blood indent in his wrist from teeth. He’d been served a fate worse than death saving her. And the guilt of it sliced like a knife through her heart.

Ghost should’ve been there, with her safely in the QZ. Kissing her and reminding her that they were safe, safer than they’d been since they’d left London over a month before. But she was there, a hollow shell all alone as they escorted her through the secured area to the lab that would become a prison for her.

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The song of crickets filled Ghost’’s ears as they settled for the night, making a small camp in the deep black of a forest. He sat so that Y/N’s head rested on his lap, his hand absent-mindedly running through her hair. “You’re quiet tonight.”

Almost wondering if she’d fallen asleep there, he looked down at her face and she quickly averted her gaze away from his. “Y/N? What’s wrong love?”

“What are you going to do when we get to Edinburgh?” She finally speaks, keeping her gaze focused on the small camping lantern they had, watching the few insects that flew to it, hoping for the warmer sun. “Or were you not planning on getting that far either?”

“Oh.” Ghost lets out a groan, running a hand over his face. So she was still thinking about their conversation from earlier, considering his words on a personal level, as if they’d been directed to her. He’d been backed into a wall with her question, the truth was pathetic and Ghost worried how she’d respond to it.

“So you didn’t think that far.” Y/N didn’t ask but stated firmly before sitting up and pushing away from Ghost. Taking her warmth away from him.

“Y/N, love–” He reached a hand out, placing it lightly on her arm and removing it after Ghost watched her flinch from his touch. “No, I didn’t think about what I’d do after. Was too focused on the mission of just getting you there safely. But I’ve thought about it, and if you’ll have me, I’d like to stay there for you.”

Whipping her head around, she stared at him surprised by his request, almost wondering if she’d heard him correctly. He was being vulnerable with her, it caused a lump to form in her throat.

“Stay… with me?”

“Yes.” Ghost nodded his head, taking her hand in his and bringing it close to his clothed mouth. “Please, Y/N? I’ll be your damn guard dog if that’s what it takes.” He finishes his plea, kissing the palm of her hand despite the fabric barrier between his lips and her skin. Stray tears in his eyes he blinked away, focusing on her, nothing else mattered but her.

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The afterlife was not what Ghost expected, his body and mind were infected, driving him with an everpresent thirst for flesh and blood. Like a street dog, wandering the expanse of Edinburgh fighting the wild hunger that’d taken over him and so many others. But there was a hollow feeling, some part of his past life still tethered to the shell of his body. Some haunting voice that still rang in his ears like a beautiful song that drew him away from corpses and rotting flesh. Someone whose side he should’ve never left.

tag-list @amazingori

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #call of duty mw2 #ghost #simon ghost riley x reader #cod mw22 #ghost mw2 #fanfic #y/n #call of duty zombies #zombie ghost #zombies!au #zombie apocalypse #so much angst

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project-sekai-facts · 7 months

Note

Do you have any thoughts about rui’s character and his relationships? I really enjoy your character analysis i think they’re super good so it’ll so cool to hear something about rui ^_^ otherwise i really enjoy the work you put into this account!

thank you! here's a little something i threw together to commemorate the end of curtain call hell on EN, except it's about the main story because the animation released recently and i have thoughts about it. and i think it's a good starting point for his character.

First though, we need to go backwards a bit to the flashbacks in Revival my dream and KAMIKOU FESTIVAL!. When Rui was a kid, he was considered a prodigy by many and it was constantly shoved in his face that he was different from everyone else. Be it because he was incredibly intelligent beyond his age, or because he had different interests to the other kids in his class. At the end of the day, if he was having fun with his classmates, it wouldn't last. Usually they'd all leave at some point because they thought his ideas of fun were weird or they didn't understand them. By the time he was in middle school around 8 years later, he was completely isolated from his peers. As he said in A Once-In-A-Lifetime Pandemonium, he believed that he would never be able to connect with or understand anyone around him. What Rui had always needed was like-minded individuals who could accept him for who he was, not shun him due to his perceived weirdness. He had Mizuki, but even they said back in middle school that the reason the two of them were friends is simply because they were both lonely; they couldn't actually do anything to help each other change.

It's very clear that Rui didn't think things would ever change. In the main story, even after Tsukasa invites him to join the troupe, the only reason he accepts is so Nene can do what she's always wanted. Sure, it's what he wants as well, but he's never worked well with people before, so why would it be any different now? He'll go along with it so long as he can try and help Nene change, because if he can't change himself, then the least he can do is help his only true friend.

Was joining the crew at Wonder Stage so bad for him? Not really, he actually ended up hitting it off with Emu due to their similar way of thinking, something that had never happened before. Nene even points out that he seems happier than normal after joining.

I think the part where he leaves the troupe is the part a lot of people fail to get their heads around, I've seen so many arguments on twitter over it and I think people just need to get it into their heads that there were multiple factors that contributed to him leaving and refusing to rejoin.

First off: Nene. Nene is Rui's closest and pretty much only friend. She's the only person who stuck with him since childhood. Everyone else left him in the end because they just couldn't understand him, Mizuki bonded with him over their shared loneliness but they were never truly close. Nene means a lot to him because of that, hell, the whole reason he even decided to join Tsukasa and Emu's troupe in the first place is because he saw Nene suffering and wanted to help her be happier. Tsukasa took his anger out on Nene, and Rui felt bad because he was the one who got her into this mess. He wanted her to be happy and to try and overcome her trauma only for her to mess up again and face even worse repercussions. Tsukasa hurt her, and Rui doesn't want to work with someone who's going to act like that, especially not towards his closest friend.

Second: Tsukasa's selfishness. Which admittedly plays into the last point as well. Tsukasa was selfish. He just wanted the fame and glory and to be in the limelight. Nene messed up his debut performance, and he was angry. After all, it was his moment to finally shine, so it had to be perfect, and yet a member of his troupe made an amateur mistake. He wanted to put on the best show with the best troupe, he can't have anything short of that. That's what Rui points out here. Tsukasa says he has a passion for theatre, but really all he wanted was to be in the spotlight. He prioritised himself, let it all get to his head, and couldn't work with other people. That's what Rui means when he says Tsukasa doesn't have what it takes to become a star. Tsukasa doesn't care about anyone but himself, and you can't be a star and put on the greatest show by yourself.

The animation actually adds in a little extra scene here. Leaving the group wasn't easy for Rui, it hurt him and you can really tell it did. As Nene said, it was the happiest he had been in a while. While he denied at the time that anything was different, I think he did know things were different. He thought he'd maybe finally found like-minded people, just like his mother told him he would when he was a kid. And he's a hypocrite even. He tells Tsukasa great shows can't be made alone, despite the fact he's trying to do that himself.

The first time Emu, Nene and Tsukasa try to get him back, he refuses. Tsukasa had apologised to Nene, she accepted his apology and rejoined his troupe. And he's really happy for her, she's making moves to help herself get better, but he still refuses. After all, Tsukasa getting angry at Nene wasn't the only reason he quit. As he says, he and Tsukasa aren't compatible. Tsukasa only wants the fame and glory, whereas Rui wants to make shows that the audience can enjoy. Their goals simply do not align. He thought he'd finally found a place where he could engage in what he's passionate about, but was harshly reminded that place seemingly doesn't exist for him. Whether it was Tsukasa's hubris and selfishness or his classmates isolating him, he can't find anyone to pursue his interests with. Nothing changes.

But it does change. WxS isn't complete without Rui there, Tsukasa needs to prove that he's changed and that his goals do align with Rui's own. And what better way to communicate that than with a show - it's what Rui knows best, after all. I think what's particularly impactful here is that this is a rewritten version of the show Rui was performing the first time he was asked to rejoin the troupe. The show about an alchemist who wanted to put on shows, but everyone who joined him left him because they found his ideas to be ridiculous. Neither the alchemist or the townsfolk understood each other, and the townsfolk wanted nothing to do with the alchemist. It's a bitter ending with the alchemist's happiness being limited and him ultimately being lonely forever, since the story does not continue.

The ending is not a happy one, so they change it.

Tsukasa has changed, and now he's giving Rui the chance to change as well. Rui has never had anyone take his shows seriously, never had anyone take him seriously. No one understands him and he never understood anyone. But that changes. There's finally people who want to do shows with him, who appreciate his ideas and understand his motivations. Even if he's a little different, everyone else in WxS is a little weird too.

I also like how they actually show in the animation that things have changed through a little bit of stage direction. Rui watches that entire play in the dark, alone. When Tsukasa reaches out to him, the light turns on on Rui. We then cut to reveal another person in the scene. He's not lonely anymore.

Ultimately, the most important part of Rui's character arc is change. He never planned on changing - what was the point? He wasn't going to pretend to be someone he wasn't, but he also wasn't going to risk being himself and get rejected again. But once again, as he said in Pandemonium, once he joined WxS, he did change. He's the happiest he's ever been, he has friends that he never wants to let go for the first time, he's able to actually have fun and let himself enjoy things for the first time, he begins to be able to understand people without using shows as a reference point. But even before then, he changed. He changed as soon as he decided to take Tsukasa's offer. As pointed out by Tsukasa in Pandemonium, even if he was the one to give Rui the chance, Rui was the one who took it. He could've refused it again and continued to be lonely forever. He could've chosen to continue to believe that truly he would just never be able to understand and connect with the people around him. But he wanted to change, even if he denied it at the time. And he changed that belief so he could change his life.

(TL)

#i have got a longer piece on the parallels in mizuki and rui's arcs in the works. i mentioned this months ago but it's been taking ages to #finish bc of college and just burnout lol. consider this a preview of sorts #asks #mod talks #once again i didn't proofread this #rui kamishiro

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neuroticbookworm · 4 months

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Another Thai BL, another Asian parent-child conflict that enrages the audience and yet, is extremely nuanced. I’m gonna try and speak on it as an Asian kid who grew up in the East, but currently lives in the West, carrying complicated feelings on the Asian parenting I received.

I’m seeing a good discourse in the tags from @lurkingshan, @respectthepetty, @bengiyo, @heretherebedork and @williamrikers, among others, on the hypocrisy of a dad who hit his son in anger and is now lecturing him on the importance of controlling one’s actions when angry. I agree with everyone that the dad is being a hypocritical piece of shit. But I do not think that this is a failure in the writing of the show. Quite the opposite, actually. Because of how Ten responds and acts in the face of this hypocrisy.

Ten comes across as belligerent and confrontational in every interaction he has had with his dad, but it is never uncalled for, and he never seeks it out himself. He tries to stay out of his dad and his stepmom/his dad’s girlfriend’s way as much as possible, and only responds in a defensive manner when provoked. And in today’s episode, he even kept himself open enough in the conversation with his dad, despite his anger, to concede and accept a very good point when raised. Ten understands his dad’s hypocrisy but refuses to stoop to the same level of pettiness because he knows being a good partner and a good friend is more important than being right. This is a mark of excellent writing, in my opinion. The main character is fiercely loyal to his partner and his friends and does not let his baggage with his dad cloud his course of action.

I also see calls for an apology from the dad already brewing in the fandom. And I understand the instinct to want that. It is always so satisfying when mistreated children finally get the apology that’s been long overdue. But it’s rarely this simple in an Asian household. Times are changing faster than most people can in a lifetime, and there are systemic, cultural flaws in how an Asian society understands and teaches parenting. And if we factor in the social, economic, religious lines that heavily influence how an Asian person forms their social circle, it would’ve left these parents with little to no peers who can tell them what they’re doing is wrong. Parents striking their kids is clearly considered evil nowadays, but only a few years ago, it would’ve been a perfectly acceptable response to control a bratty child, on and off screen (and it still is in some Asian cultures).

Now, NONE of what I said above is an excuse to write off the behavior of Ten’s dad as acceptable, just because it’s very Asian. As an Asian who grew up in the East, the demand for an apology does not particularly resonate with me, because Ten and his dad both know that their problems are not gonna go away as soon as Ten’s dad apologizes. Because:

If Ten starts demanding an apology for every shitty thing his dad has ever done, where should he stop? Should he demand an apology for the time his dad probably struck him as a kid when he was trying to get him to memorize multiplication tables, as is wont of every Asian parent ever (it is such an ubiquitous experience to Asian kids everywhere that there are reels with millions of views on IG, referencing this experience. Does this mean every Asian parent is evil and must be put on trial by their kids? Holy moly, think of all the money therapists would make if every Asian kid in the world decided to call out their parents on their shit. Entire economies would crumble to dust from the sudden disruption in cashflow.)

Is an apology going to comfort Ten? Asian parenting warps the sense of self of both the parents and the kids, because of the levels of abject sacrifice involved in it. It is extremely possible that Ten’s dad had worked day and night to provide well for his family, for his son, before Ten’s mom fell ill. It’s the same choice he made for his wife, but in this case, it paid off, because now Ten is financially well taken care of, and he is privileged enough to pursue a career in medicine. If Ten demands an apology from his dad for not being there when his mom was dying, do we know for sure that when he gets that apology, his mind won’t conflate the sacrifices his dad made for him, thus making him feel guilty for forcing someone who clearly cared about him enough to work hard for him, into defeat (look at this rich soup of Asian parenting misery, yum yum yum. I know it’s delicious because I’m paying my therapist weekly to make the broth less spicy).

The dialogue in the show whenever Ten’s mom is brought up and discussed is always very carefully worded:

Not “because you did not act”, but “because you took so long to act”. Looks like Ten’s dad made a choice that ultimately did not pay off. He cared, and he wanted to do something to save his wife, but whatever he chose to do ultimately did not help. And now she is dead and he has managed to not help and comfort his wife in her final days AND unwittingly traumatize his son with his absence. The show has painted this storyline with enough nuance that I don’t believe we are meant to read Ten’s dad as a simple villain, but rather a father who does care but has made some serious mistakes. This situation is so emotionally complicated and realistically, it’s gonna take years for both of them to find a middle ground. Ten is gonna have to grow up and make a few mistakes of his own in life to develop proper empathy for his dad, and that’s gonna put a couple things into perspective for him (I’m not saying Ten is bound to make mistakes because he is bad. He is going to because shit happens in life and human beings always do better in hindsight than in the moment). And the dad is gonna have to grow old and let his aging body humble him a little and shrink his ego enough to see that he had failed his son by not being emotionally available to deal with their trauma, together.

I’ve been watching Kim’s Convenience, a Canadian sitcom that follows a Korean-Canadian family and their shenanigans. I’m only on S04E02, but there is a father-son conflict at the centre of this show that is still not directly addressed by both the dad and the son. It’s been years (almost a decade, I think) since the son has been driven out of his home by his dad for a dumb mistake he made as a teen. And the way the show works on it is so infuriating, because it is so Asian. It is rarely addressed aloud in the presence of the dad or the son, lest it leads to anger and screaming and storming off. The path to reconciliation is built with mom calling her son for help to fix something in their home because his dad is too stubborn to ask for it. With the son visiting the hospital when the dad had to undergo surgery, and having their first real conversation in years which the dad forgets after waking up from the influence of pain drugs. With the daughter’s old phone passed down to the dad with her brother’s number on it, which leads to them texting each other. It is all extra frustrating for me because I’m extremely straightforward in my conversations with my parents. I do not like ambiguous endings to verbal conflicts because they are a ticking time bomb and I do not have the capacity to forget its existence and let it tick away in the background. But, I understand it when my friends, and Asian characters in TV shows, don’t want to force things out in the open if it can be swept under the rug for the time being, because peace of mind in Asian households is fleeting and you would be wise to take what you get.

Good TV shows can best serve their audience when they serve their characters, and stay true to the experiences of the people they are trying to represent. My teen ass was regularly shocked, appalled and intrigued by the sexual liberation promised by Western media I consumed while I was in school and college. I was surrounded by a sexually repressed society that was convinced that the only moral way to enjoy pleasure was after marriage with your partner. And very predictably, this means a lot of dead bedrooms, unhappy marriages and kids growing up with no real understanding of what romantic love looks like. I would’ve never had the courage to move my entire life to the West, if the Western media I watched had not represented its people in all their messy, horny glory, albeit with a rose-tinted lens on gender, race and sexuality.

Some Asian parents in media need to fall at the feet of their children and apologize. I remember being absolutely fucking enraged while @lurkingshan and I watched Double Savage at the behest of our friend @waitmyturtles, and in the finale, Korn was the one who fell at the feet of his absolute piece of shit of a dad to apologize for FUCKING NOTHING. And after Shan and I were done surviving that show, I remember telling my friends that most Asian media does not have strong writing whenever Asian children need to defy their shitty parents and come to terms with their destructive parenting, because chances are, most Asian creators would not have successfully done it. Hence, intergenerational trauma (gasp! It’s all connected!).

So. I would never demand to see Ten’s dad apologize to him to consider Cooking Crush a successful show, because that is not the cultural context this story operates in. Would I enjoy it if he does? Hell yes. Would I be mad if he does not? No, because Ten is proving him wrong time and again, and that’s a constant reminder from the narrative of who is in the right.

#cooking crush #cooking crush meta #off jumpol #gun atthaphan #tenprem #thai bl

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promptedwordsmith · 3 months

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LADS Prompt

LADS guys finding out you like someone else

Another angsty thing but i have a LOT of prompts ready for posting now haha I'm working on a part two for the angst i posted :D

Rafayel:

Rafayel would probably have some sort of sad rage. Who is this person who thinks they are good enough to take your time and attention, and why are you letting them? You’re his bodyguard, and you’d been getting closer for a while now so how come this person just appears and you fawn all over them? It wasn’t right, you promised him!

You promised you wouldn’t ever make him wait again but now you’ve chosen to have someone else be your priority? He knows his anger is a front for the disappointment and betrayal he feels, and he feels stupid for letting himself hope you wouldn’t abandon him again. He doesn’t talk to you for a week, doesn’t initiate any contact with you or even just pop up in the same area as you like he used to. You notice, of course you do but whenever you ask about it, he gives curt responses until eventually his spiralling ends with him telling you he doesn’t need you to be his bodyguard anymore, deciding its best to abandon you before you abandon him.

Xavier:

Only finds out because his balcony doors are open, and you are laughing at this guy’s stupid jokes on your own balcony. Instantly feels like he’s been hit by a truck. This isn’t the first time this has happened; in the multiple lifetimes he’s known you, you’ve liked someone else before. But this is the first time in a while. The past few lives whether he’s tried to or not he has eventually wooed you. He forgot how truly awful it feels to not be that person. He holds a pillow closer while he lays on his couch listening to you laugh and chatter away thinking about all the times you would talk away at him and he would happily listen. He realises with a start that he has buried his face in the pillow because it still smells like you, since you visited a few hours before hand. He can’t bring himself to pull away. He definitely doesn’t get Jeremiah to look into the guy’s background, make sure there’s nothing shady. He half wants there to be something so he can chase the fool away, his worry of hurting you just about outweighs that wish though.

Zayne:

It certainly makes it easier for him to keep his distance. He always feels that pull towards you; it never goes away. But knowing you have someone else you want is both a huge relief and the greatest heartache. Found out when he went to that little café, he had met you in when you first reconnected and you were there with another man. You were facing away from him so he thought better than to greet you and decided he would just go somewhere else. He knows he is forbidden from being with you but there is always the selfish part of him that wants to throw caution to the wind and show you how desperately he loves you. How deep his affection for you goes if you’d give him the honour. But he can’t, this guy – whoever he is – has no idea how lucky he is. He’s checking this guy out, making sure he has no skeletons in his closet and that he’s good enough. It’s during these checks that a thought occurs to him, what on earth could make anyone else good enough for you in his eyes? He gives you up, he will always want more of you, he’ll just have to wait for when he can.

#love and deepspace #fanfic #xavier love and deepspace #xavier #xavier x reader #zayne #zayne love and deepspace #zayne x reader #rafayel #rafayel love and deepspace #rafayel x reader #angsty

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beloved-calypso · 1 year

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・゜ ʚɞ ゜゜𝕳𝖔𝖜 𝖈𝖆𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖊𝖛𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖉𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖇𝖊𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖞? ♡ ・゜ ʚɞ ゜゜‎♡‧₊˚✧ ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ✧˚₊‧♡

♡ “𝒯𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓈 𝓂𝒶𝓃𝓎 𝓈𝓉𝓎𝓁𝑒𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝒷𝑒𝒶𝓊𝓉𝓎 𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓋𝒾𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝑜𝒻 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒾𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈. ~ 𝒮𝓉𝑒𝓃𝒹𝒽𝒶𝓁" ♡

All pictures and gifs are not mine but belong to their original artists.♡

I. -> II. -> III.

ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴘᴀᴄ ꜰᴏᴄᴜꜱᴇꜱ ᴏɴ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴄʜɪᴇᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴇꜱɪʀᴇᴅ ᴘʜʏꜱɪᴄᴀʟ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇꜱ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ʙᴇᴀᴜᴛʏ ʀᴏᴜᴛɪɴᴇ. ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴀᴘᴘʟʏ ᴛʜᴇꜱᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴀɴʏ ʀᴇᴀʟᴍꜱ ᴏꜰ ᴘʜʏꜱɪᴄᴀʟɪᴛʏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ꜱᴛʀᴜɢɢʟɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ, ꜱᴜᴄʜ ᴀꜱ ʙᴏᴅʏ ᴡᴇɪɢʜᴛ, ᴅɪᴇᴛ, ꜰɪᴛɴᴇꜱꜱ, ꜱᴋɪɴ, ʜᴀɪʀ, ᴛᴇᴇᴛʜ, ᴇᴛᴄ. ♡ ɪ ᴀᴍ ɴᴏᴛ ᴀ ᴅᴏᴄᴛᴏʀ ɴᴏʀ ᴅᴏ ɪ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍʏ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢꜱ ᴄᴀɴ ꜰɪx ᴡʜᴀᴛᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴘʜʏꜱɪᴄᴀʟ ᴀɪʟᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ. ꜱᴇᴇᴋ ᴀ ᴘʀᴏꜰꜰᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴᴀʟ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴄᴀʟ ᴘʀᴀᴄᴛɪᴛɪᴏɴᴇʀ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ.

~ XOXO 💋🎀

P.S ✨️Remember to check the collective message AND the poll at the end!✨️

⊰᯽⊱┈───✧

౿૮꒰ྀི collective message◞꒱ა

This is what I channeled. To all my readers, please know that beauty is an INVESTMENT. You must treat it as such! Things like smooth skin and weight loss typically take months to achieve. Be wary of miracle cures, overnight subliminals, or trendy products (even if they are said to be scientifically backed up). I know with subliminals the whole point is to have unfaltering belief, but don't put so much pressure on yourself to where all the time you're listening to subliminals and overloading your brain with them. Everybody's body is different. Everybody's journey of expression is different. Remember that your body loves and supports you. It's the vessel for which we navigate through life and we only have 1 for this current lifetime. I would say with any beauty routine moderation is key (think of the Temperance card). These types of things take just as much mental strength as physical to keep up with, so it's good to treat them with simplicity, not just in consideration for what you physically can do, but what mentally you can handle. ♡

౿૮꒰ྀི pile 1 ๑◞꒱ა

9 wands (rx), 5 of wands (rx), The Lovers (rx), 9 of Swords (rx)

So this pac was supposed to focus on improving your external beauty, but apparently spirit is saying that you need to focus on what's going on internally. The major reason why you haven't achieved your desired beauty results is because you're burnt out. You've overloaded yourself with so much information and recommendations on how to achieve your desired results through the internet (video tutorials, how-to guides, beauty forums, subliminals, product reviews, etc.) that you think you should have had your results by now, and that it's a punishment from the universe that you are stuck in your "ugly duckling phase". This has led you to being perpetually frustrated, underconfident, and jealous of those that fit your beauty ideals. The truth of the matter as to why you haven't seen much results is that you try too hard and you lack the motivation to commit to any of these self-improvement tools. You may have researched so much that now you're confused and intimidated by all the information with some ideas and opinions even overlapping or contradicting thotherser. You may have tried multiple things at once and expected that to accelerate your results. You may also be the type to buy a bunch of recommended products in bulk and so far nothing has been working. Spirit is saying that your body itself is confused and cannot adjust to all these routines you keep trying out. It's like you go through aup-and-downwn cycle: you try one routine for 2-3 weeks and if it doesn't work, you leave it, go through an inactive wallowing stage for the next 2 weeks, and start over with a new routine. Your body cannot support these constant switch-ups and exposure to new chemicals (yes, even 100% natural ingredients). They're taxing your body and you're not giving it the chance to properly process what you've put in/on it. Your body and mind are also in conflict; it's like you've detached yourself from it out of anger and resentment. I have to say it: self-love is VERY much needed here. The Lovers in reverse just emphasizes that you need to compromise your wants and desires with what your body is physically capable of doing. Be patient and gentle with it. A few weeks is not enough time for many products/actions to take effect. When they do, the effects are usually internal first before they show in the external. Your body needs consistency and simplicity. Spirit is saying you only need a few products and to stick to a strict routine for a few months. Extensive routines will do more damage than good. Regarding forming your routines, you need to create solid habits. Your main obstacle is you are impatient. Given for most of you, it's probably been years that you've been working on your body and confidence, but a few months seem little in comparison to those many painstaking years of trial and error. Another obstacle here is you worry excessively and tend to assume the worst. By not caring for your mental and spiritual well beiyou'reyour psyching yourself out from doing the groundwork that's needed to solidify your imaginings into reality. Your moods heavily affect your motivation which is essential in moving your results forward. Know that success is destined for you! You just need to take the long road and to simplify the things carrying you along the journey.

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧

౿૮꒰ྀི pile 2 ๑◞꒱ა

9 of Swords, Page of Pentacles, 3 of Pentacles, The Devil (rx), 2 of Swords

Pile 2 you also need hug! I can tell you are overly anxious and stressed out. I think self love is very much needed here as well. In order for you to improve your beauty routine, you need to get out of your toxic headspace and have faith in your ideas. I can see that you suffer from periods of anxiety and isolation. Maybe you avoid going out as much because of your insecurities. You have very low confidence and don't have much faith in your future. I think the main problem stopping you from getting your desired beauty results is low self esteem and an obssessive mentality. You are self sabatoging yourself from taking action. It's like your stuck in a cycle of rumination. Your scared of having to commit to one thing and if that one thing doesn't work out you have to tear down all of what you've built and start over. The process of dissapointment is one you try your hardest to avoid by doing...nothing. Could also be that you do too much but feel you never do enough. Either way, your in your head a lot about what you can do and you don't know how to navigate the wealth of information that's out there, but you are scared on who and what to trust. I think in order for you to get your desires, you first need to ground yourself, start believing that change is possible and you are not stuck in your circumstances. Beauty is an investment, and it's not so much as what you put on that matters as much as how often you do it. Spirit is saying take the time to formulate a plan and stick with it, make sure every moving piece correlates well together. You may be young and fairly new to making routines like this. Take your time and have patience, it's not a race, but you should start making these plans for the longterm future. It can't be something that you quit right after seeing results, these will be things that you will need to give consistent care and attention towards, just so you know how to care for your body and recognize the signs it gives you moving forward. You also need to detach the results from your mind. You need to think clearly and objectively, let the changes come to you and don't try to force it, because I'm getting that some of you will stress so much that your body will have bad physical reactions, like migraines, rashes, breakouts, food cravings, and more. I'm also getting the message that for some of you, ya'll need to go to the doctor (nutritionist, dermatologist, gynecologist, whatever). Everyone needs to visit a doctor if they can, but ya'll especially. I think you would do well to go to professionals and get expert advice rather than trust unknown sources on the web. Some of ya'll maybe even need coaching, like a trainer or life coach. There's a lot of confusion and doubt in this pile. I think a clear, defined path is what you need, so do please be open to seeking help from others. I do think you've been working hard on the spiritual front to manifest your results, but you are constantly being disheartened. I think ya'll need to fix yourselves mentally first because its inhibiting your motivation. For some of you, you have even formed obsessive attachments to your appearance and do things to feel "right" or stable. It's giving me OCD. It's even giving me Cassie from Euphoria's excessive beauty routine (look it up). Like in the TV, it appeared as if she was doing all those things for Nate's attention, but really she did it because it was her way of grounding herself and feeling in control. I think ya'll have an issue with feeling in control and may be prone to acting out of impulse, like buying unnecessary things out of desperation or just simply overinvesting your time and energy in the wrong things. For the others, you lose steam and don't actually do the things you need to do. Be more wise with your money and where your putting it, as well as your energy. Try not to over exert yourself or comit to a bunch of things at once. Your time and energy is precious, and your mental wellbeing comes before all.

(I had a headache while doing this reading, so sorry for the confusion. That 2 of Swords energy was strong, lol)

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౿૮꒰ྀི pile 3 ๑◞꒱ა

5 of wands, Page of Wands, Ace of Wands (rx), Judgement, The Tower

Oof, all this fire energy Pile 3. So I do sense that ya'll have problems with taking on too much. You have a lot of insecurities you want to tackle, for example, skin, weight, hair, teeth, etc. and you are trying to "fix" all those things at once. Maybe you are around people that make you feel insecure and you're in this unspoken competition with them on who's prettier. There maybe even family members or friends that speak out on your appearance ( I'm so sorry if this resonates) and make you feel insecure and like you have to work on yourself. I think you've been stretching yourself thin, searching for ways to constantly improve all the while you are already trying your hardest, and instead of achieving your desired looks your heading towards a total burn out. The Tower here is telling me loud and clear, you need to slow down and take a deep breath before you crash. What other people's opinions of you don't matter. Like at all. What matters is how comfortable you are in your own skin, and what makes you feel authentic and beautiful. I don't think you are even insecure or underconfident, but rather nitpicky, and those around you are making you so. I see that you're intentions in your beauty routines are either not genuine or are unnecessary, and are forced and uncomfortable. You don't feel motivated enough to keep doing them but you still do it anyway. It maybe compulsive, but you are taking on so much at a time that it's building frustration within. What you need to do to improve your beauty routine and improve your mental health is to do a serious self evaluation. Check that you are doing these things for the right reason and not because of outside influences. Check on whether these things make you feel confident or are downsizing you. Check if your overall happiness and wellbeing is in order, whether you've spent too much money or have invested so much into your routines you've neglected other aspects of your life. I don't think what you've been doing has been necessarily bad, but it is somewhat obssessive and it will eventually backfire if you don't lessen the burden. I think you've once enjoyed doing all these things in your routine; they were fun and kept you on your toes, but now you've fallen out of love with the whole monotony of them. I think you should take a break from your beauty routine, maybe just do the bare minimum if you can't afford to drop everything. Focus on one focal point at a time, like skin and hair, or body and skin, and make sure your setting boundaries and prioritizing your mental and emotional wellbeing. I think your body is currently feeling overloaded with all that your putting in/on it. You may feel low energy and because your neglecting sleep or not staying hydrated. Make sure your also doing these bare basics and not just whats in your itinerary as they can greatly hinder your results if not catered too. Consider changing the direction of your journey or take a momentary break.

⊰᯽⊱┈─── ✧

Put in the comments down below if you would like me to make PACs focusing on specific bodily insecurities, like a pac for how to improve your skincare routine, how can I achieve my desired dream body, and how can I improve my physical health, stuff like that!

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧

ᴀɴʏ ᴄʀɪᴛɪᴄɪꜱᴍꜱ ᴏʀ ꜰᴇᴇᴅʙᴀᴄᴋ ᴀʀᴇ ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇᴅ. ɪ'ᴍ ᴛᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʙʟᴏɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀᴍ ᴏᴘᴇɴ ᴛᴏ ᴀɴʏ ᴏᴘɪɴɪᴏɴꜱ ᴀꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ɪᴍᴘʀᴏᴠᴇ ɪᴛ. ♡

ᴅɪꜱᴄʟᴀɪᴍᴇʀ

© lolita-bonita — Please do not plagiarize, translate, or repost any of my work on other social media platforms without my permission. This is the only platform that I post this type of content. If you see my work being posted anywhere else, please kindly report them to me. ♡

⊱┈───── ✧

✨️ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ɴᴏᴛᴇ: Tarot is not an exact science, nor can it produce information that is factually true. All things posted are alleged and for entertainment purposes only. The future is fluid, and what may happen is based on your choices and actions, not what I and a deck of cards say. You are still the creator of your future. ✨️

⊰᯽⊱┈───── ✧

#pick a card #pick a picture #pick a pile #pick a photo #tarot #tarot blr #tarot blog #tarot cards #tarot reader #free tarot readings #free tarot

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mrsnancywheeler · 4 months

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IM SO SORRY THIS ONE IS LONG ILL LEAVE YOU ALONE SOON YOU JUST GIVE ME BRAIN WORMS

I’m back on my Finnick silliness

Finnick who sits by his sweet girl (yes. She was his sweet girl again) while she lays unconscious after her games. The overwhelming feeling of guilt, relief, exhaustion, and mourning.

Relief because his sweet girl (yes his sweet girl, she was finally his sweet girl again) was alive and breathing in front of him. Relief because after 2 years, 2 years that felt like a lifetime, Finnick was finally able to hold his sweet girl again. He was able to hold her hand, kiss her face, give her the adoration and delicacy she deserved.

Exhaustion because seeing her in the arena was probably the most emotionally draining things he’s had to go through. The fear of her getting hurt, or worse, dying ate away at him. The jealousy and silent rage he felt watching her kiss and hold Conway. The fear and anxiety he felt when he realized Conway would kill you. He didn’t sleep a wink, every moment he could he was looking at her. He was getting her sponsors (watching her get hypothermia was probably the worst thing he’s been through, and that’s saying something)

Mourning because he mourns the person she was. He knows she won’t be the same. He knows the fear, anxiety, the depression, the guilt, everything that comes out of the games. He mourned the carefree girl he loved, but that didn’t matter, he needed to be there for his sweet girl.

Yet as she lied there there must have been a subtle anger he began to feel because imagine if he began to hear talks about his sweet girls desirability. How people would have loved to spend just a night with her, or perhaps both him and her if they had the chance.

He probably realized he would be able to hold her once more but soon he wouldn’t be the only one. And that? That is probably what truly broke his heart.

Okay…bye

I MEAN IT WITH MY FULL CHEST WHEN I SAY YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE ME ALONE BC I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS STUFF SM LIKE I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU POOKIE

tw trafficking, violence, death

so at the beginning of midnight rain finnick was so prickly and like multiple times reader mentions that he's trying to be too much like a mentor, he's comforting her but it's not the same until after he tells her about what snow does to so-called "desirable" victors because that's him breaking down his walls

and I'm just thinking about what a tumultuous time that was for their relationship because they're so young and have both been through so much trauma and he has his sweet girl back but at what cost

and he feels so responsible that any of this happened to you, so he has to do his best now to mentor you for the press after and the eventual victors tour. he gets to hold you, to kiss you, to be with you, but he has to make sure you know the importance of keeping up performances. so their's a lull where you feel different because of what's happened that compounded with how you feel like he's different too, he's keeping things from you, and is still guarded

like there's 6 years between reader winning her games and the version we see in the lakes and the river, so much more healing and bonding, so much love strengthened. so the finnick who tries to be there for reader after her games and is scared to tell her about her fate learns so much to become the finnick trying to bring reader back in the lakes.

but yes finnick would've been exhausted during your games, he can't eat if you're starving or ill or hurt, or if you're trying to convince conway you love him. he can't sleep when you could die at any time. this man would go through lengths to make sure you had the best sponsors, it didn't matter how many more customers he had to take it it meant you would survive. and then your fate was nearly out of his control when the hypothermia hit. something people can die so quickly of and he feels like he'd truly snap if that happened, he spends every sponsor dollar to get you that blanket, and is so grateful that marlowe knows how to take care of you. because you're his sweet girl, freezing and shivering in the rain. then there's the trauma reader has related too the cold and rain after that, he's so grateful he's always warm because he can end your chills with his touch. but it takes you so long to leave the house in the rain even when warm and you still hate it.

and yes, you've changed so much. there's less impulsivity, less dreams of a life out of your grasp, maybe because you have it now, but you also have no hope for anything but misery. you're more forelorn, there's less walls you put up, you just cry, but you still worry more about him then you to yourself which crushes him. his poor sweet girl, so traumatized, so cold all the time, and so utterly distracted by wanting to help him instead

oh my god, when finnick was doing whatever he could to get you sponsors I can imagine all the people that invested because they saw your interview and wanted you. all the people who'd say, "well if I sponsor her, I'd definitely get my money's worth." with a chuckle to their friends, so disgusting, who laughed back

"those tears would be even prettier in person"

"I would love to see what else they mouth could do"

and finnick's blood is boiling, but he needs the money so his sweet girl can live. he feels so guilty for it when you're with him though, it's one of the reasons he doesn't tell you about it for so long. you'll be safe as long as he keeps you out of reality, which he can't do forever.

and yes people definitely want both you and finnick at some point, I mean the beloved couple from district 4 people can't get enough from and he doesn't know if it's better or worse that way. because then you have to watch each other take the rougher treatment but he can also be there for each other.

especially early on he can clean you up, put you back together if you're both wanted, before the tragedy that it's commonplace hits and you learn to take care of yourself because so often you're alone.

he hates that other people want you that way, that other people will see you that way because he knows that if neither of you were forced to be in a place like this you'd just want each other and just have each other so completely. but his sweet girl is being forced to perform and sold to the highest bitter which will always make him sick and angry. because he just wants to love his sweet girl.

sorry this is kind of all over the place lmao

#wanda 💋#finnick odair x reader #finnick odair #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair fluff #finnick odair angst #finnick odair x reader fluff #finnick odair x you #finnick odair x reader angst #the lakes #the river

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