#thats why i dont anymore. doing the world a favor | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

neteyamsilly · 1 year

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i will soften every edge, hold the world to its best | 5

summary ;; What could Jake do? How was he supposed to fight when he had no concrete opponent? PART 4 | PART 6 pairings ;; dad!jake sully x reader, mom!neytiri x reader, sully family x reader genre ;; pure angst and family feels notes / explanations ;; jake is so depressing here. i also took liberty with his character and the reasonings for his decisions in atwow, sorry in case if thats not how you see him LMAO happy reading 💞 please excuse my mistakes if you see any! ‼ I DONT TAKE TAG REQUESTS ANYMORE ‼

“One chance, Jakesuli. You will only have one chance. Use it well. Our Great Mother favors you, that we know. But this favor hasn’t been granted to you. It has been granted to my granddaughter.”

“I won’t fail.” Not again.

“What does failing mean, I wonder. Would you fail if you take her soul back from her happiest? Or would you fail if you let her have the peace our Great Mother has laid her into?”

“I will get my daughter back. This isn’t her time. If Eywa has given me this chance, then she thinks the same as me.”

“You will take that honor from her, then?” Mo’at was being cryptic, but Jake saw through the exterior of the neutral Tsahik into an exhausted, mourning grandmother. “She was the daughter of Toruk Makto, and he was her last shadow.”

It came back to Jake in a gut-churning realization, it was his shadow that had fallen over you from the light of the torches on the walls as you’d given your last breath. It was his shadow. “No,” he refused, adamantly. “She will get to achieve greater honors of her own than that. I won’t be the one defining her ending.” The last bead of your songcord having his name, Toruk Makto’s name, was supremely wrong to him. He would not accept this fate for you.

“Very well, then.” Secretly, she was pleased with him. With his answer. “Get going. As I said. One chance.”

Jake would never be able to get used to the magnificence that was Vitraya Ramunong, or, the Tree of Souls. To him, Pandora itself was a marvel already too good to be true that he’d fallen in love with, and abandoned his own race for, there was no getting used to the beauty for a human like him who’d only found it once in neon lights, ever. He could reach the end of his natural lifespan in this body and still there would be much left to discover. That’s why Jake was more vulnerable to one of the beating hearts of Eywa in the shape of a giant, glowing willow tree.

No Na’vi was immune to the soul-purifying, all-consuming, yet being-dwarfing peace enveloping one’s very spirit, in a cradling hug as if they were nothing but a newborn in their mother’s arms. In here, only one fact mattered: they were childrens of Eywa, all of them dear, all of them seen, all of them safe and sound, including him, once alien to Eywa the way Earth was related to Pandora. Everything spoke to him here in a language he didn’t understand, but could respond to, again, in a language he didn’t understand, his soul doing the communicating.

Jake was also a child here, Eywa’s chosen child.

And he had come to her door for the most difficult request of his life, feeling like he was asking his mother for money right after he had crashed their car, unable to look her in the eye and expecting the biggest of scoldings for his shamelessness.

This was nothing like asking for her assistance against the sky people, back then, he had agency, power, the clans backing him up, Toruk. If Eywa didn’t hear him, he would fight until the last drop of blood in his body was spent anyway, he was ready.

Now, he had nothing.

Nothing to offer in return, not one concrete reason as to why he should have his daughter back other than being a desperate father with nowhere to return to other than the mercy of the Great Mother. He just wanted his child. Nothing mattered.

Not how and why Quaritch had spawned right under his nose with an avatar body, not how they could even slither in without detection, not the threat of what the sky people could bring upon their heads with that — nothing, not now. Nothing mattered until he saw this through.

Jake had found the will to quite literally tear himself from your side like nail from flesh only when you’d stabilized enough. Stabilized, as in, the faintest rise and fall of your ribcage Neteyam had to stare from where he was sitting like a sentinel for a full minute to spot, a tideless, still ocean only moving with whiffs of wind, his own breathing unnoticeable — to match yours, or to silence the sounds in his own body to hear better, Jake didn’t know.

No sky person was allowed to take over from Mo’at and Kiri. Norm had told Jake none of this made sense, if the bullet had nicked the bowels enough and the dirt leaked into the bloodstream, the possibility of sepsis was eventual, and if it didn’t, you had bled too much anyway, a blood transfusion was necessary, and the internal organs... — Christ, the amount of bad end scenarios Jake had been subjected to was as if they were telling him to open a grave for you anyway. Tsahik had scoffed into their faces. The way of healing was something none of them would see, she had scoffed. Now ally, or not. You can’t fill a cup that’s already full. Jake was in a hopeless need for water into wine kind of miracle, and honestly, he wasn’t complaining.

Leaving High Camp behind to set off on a journey calling for only him was one of the hardest things he’d done yet, the silhouette of you lying motionless, his family scattered around the tent, shadowed in their own mourning, folded into themselves was burned into his mind, glimpses of their pain visible from eclipses of light occasionally falling on their faces. A sight he never wanted to see again in his life if he could help it. It was a frosted, iron-thorned hand squishing his heart into ground meat.

Tuk, ever the stingy monopolizer, had brought her favorite toys to scatter around you because she thought they’d comfort you the way they comforted her, had tried snuggling with your unconscious body and was warned by Kiri only to hold your hand instead. She had taken to playing with your fingers, the depressive gloom of years beyond her age crooked on her. Jake couldn’t stand the sight of the little girl telling you bedtime stories he and Neytiri used to, for a moment only, he could pretend you were just going along with your sister’s whims and smiling with your eyes closed as you listened.

Kiri, buzzing around to change the bandage-leaves that soaked up some sort of sickly black colored puss every couple hours, had explained to him the salve they used on you was getting the infection and the splinters of the bullet they couldn’t get out of your body, which had turned the color of your blood into that — but the thing was, given the dwelling of the woodsprite in your mouth, they couldn’t feed you the porridge-like mix to speed up the process of blood production in the bone marrow, and she was exerting herself looking for some other way.

Before he’d left the tent for good, she had handed him the bullet— or, the biggest piece of it they’d taken out of your body, it was a mere pursed and shriveled, tiny metal. The exhausted girl had stammered when explaining that whatever they’d hit you with, had broken into shards inside you upon impact, creating severe lacerations and lethal hemorrhage that they’d worked tirelessly to pick out.

Jake had stared hollowly at it for the longest time. This small thing. It was such a small thing that took you from him.

The sentence that sent you away was also as small, and damning as this bullet. ‘Go.’

Kiri had seen it sink in his face, closing her five-fingered hand on his palm, on the bullet. “You should get going, dad,” she’d said. “We’re okay here.”

Jake had taken one last look. At Neytiri wiping your body to clean all the congealed blood. At Tuk holding your hand. At Kiri trying to fill in shoes bigger than her feet. At you lying down with trinkets surrounding you like funeral flowers. And forced his body to keep moving when all he wanted to do was stay.

He’d then heard Lo’ak complaining to his older brother outside the tent, “How can he be so cold?” The heaviness was getting to the boy, agitated and misapprehending. But he was always this way, if something was out of his control, the inability to act to change it manifested as frustration, blind anger. “Why is he so… unresponsive? Emotionless?”

Jake would have let it slide had it been about something else, but his children running their mouths not knowing he was a hair's breadth away from going clinically insane had gotten to him. He was burning alive.

“You think I don’t care, boy?” He emerged from the tent like some last boss, initially not caring he’d scared the brothers. “You think I don’t feel at all? My own child dying in the same arms I used to hold her as a baby — you think that doesn’t faze me?”

Neteyam, the mediator, or rather, the blame-taker, ran to his little brother’s rescue, the latter too flabbergasted to form any words yet. “Dad, he doesn’t mean—”

“I know exactly what he means.” When the anger subsided, Jake sighed with the weariness of an ancient man. The flames had died before they could climb, he was too exhausted for it. Honesty and trust, as Neytiri had said.

Having lost everything, having nothing to lose, and having a lot to lose were somehow simultaneously the same thing to Jake in the predicament he’d found himself in. “I know how you see me. You only know me as the person I want to show you.”

Lo’ak’s go-to answer was presented to Jake on a silver platter. “Sorry, sir.”

It wasn’t what he wanted to hear at all. Jake wasn’t trying to get Lo’ak to bow his head. “Don’t apologize—” He cut himself short, licking his chapped lips, and after rubbing his face, he’d put his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “Lo’ak. Son. I feel this, alright? Of course I do. I’m your father.” He shook him gently, feeling the words weren’t reaching him, who was just staring at something on the ground off to the side. “There’s no greater pain a parent can go through in life than losing his child. You can’t understand what this means right now—what it’s doing to me. You will only know when you become a father yourself.” He gently tapped Lo’ak on the chin so he would raise his head and look at him in the eye already. And when he did, Jake said what he said slowly, hoarsely. “But know this. Know I will lose myself if I lose you, or any of your siblings.” He turned to Neteyam as well, who was watching in full alert mode. “I’m fighting not to lose my sanity as we speak.”

Lo’ak swallowed, unsure and weirded out to hear something like this for the first time in his life. Jake didn’t blame him. He was never emotionally upfront or honest before, not even used to it, more awkward with it than his boys were. But none of that mattered. Not anymore, after what happened to you because of his shortcomings. “You just look so composed—“

“I have to be.” Jake shook his head, eyelids hanging heavy, his whole head was heavy. “I just can’t crumble under it, do you understand? I have to be strong. I can’t lose myself in it. Your sister needs me. You need me. To be strong.” He took his hands off the boy’s shoulders, putting a palm on his cheek and patting a few, fatherly times before backing off altogether. “Never say that I don’t care. Never. I might not show it—and it’s a father’s duty not to show it, so my family will have a stable anchor. Get what I’m saying?”

Lo’ak looked reassured, lighter. So that’s what Neytiri had meant. “How… how can I help?”

His youngest son’s inclination to get to the root of the problem and pump out solutions was in consanguineous with his inability to stop and wait, uncomfortable in his skin when he couldn’t do anything to improve the situation and was confronted with the intimacy of having to feel, always wanting to act. Lo’ak was like Jake in that way. Awkward when it came to communication. Dishonest with themselves.

“Stay here.” Jake said, right from his heart. “Stay safe. I don’t wish for anything else in this world.”

Lo’ak’s eyes softened, and as the father, Jake felt the renewal of the bond between them, saw the understanding in his youngest son, saw something else than the guilt and regret over being caught after mischief, for once. “I’m sorry, dad.”

“Don’t apologize.” He shared a meaningful look with him, trying to convey, again, his apology wasn’t what he wanted. Yet, his sons were defaulted to saying sorry half the time they spoke to him nowadays. Jake was understanding the severity of it, too much too late. Lo’ak nodded, ears tipped down slightly.

Then he turned to the eldest. “Neteyam—”

But he opened his mouth before Jake could say anything else. Ready. Always on his feet. “Yes, I will—”

Jake clicked his tongue. “Rest.”

Neteyam was about to say yes to whatever he was told to do, as always, but stopped right in the middle of it, voice catching in his throat, eyes blinking in confusion. “What?”

“Rest.”

“But—”

“Rest, Neteyam, I won’t tell you again.”

God knows he needed it. Neteyam looked like he’d been having night terrors for days, accumulated anxiety making him jumpy. “Sorry, sir.”

“Stop—“ Jake caught himself before he could raise his voice. “Why are you apologizing?”

Neteyam didn’t talk for a while. But when he did, he was looking up at him underneath his lashes, unable to keep eye contact for more than two seconds. “It’s my fault.”

“Bro,” Lo’ak said, a pitiful objection.

Jake knew where this was going. “What is?”

“I should have been there.” He pressed his mouth into a thin line before furrowing his brow, closing his eyes. Jake knew what he was seeing, repeated over and over again in his mind. “I should have known right away when I couldn’t catch up to her. I could have prevented it. It’s my responsibility.” One tear slipped by as he hung his head. “My fault.”

There it is.

Jake had told him before. “You’re the older brother, you gotta act like it.” — even though you and him were more like affable twins than older brother and younger sister that he never had to explicitly be a guardian to you like he was to Lo’ak, he had to be thinking this was his biggest failure. Neteyam was just reflecting what he’d been taught, the standards his father was holding him up to. Of course the boy had been overthinking it to the point where he was the catalyst to the event by not predicting your fakeout.

“No,” Jake rasped, after a beat. “This is on me first, and the sky people who got to her second. And that’s the end of the story.”

Neteyam, up until this point, had to bear half the blame, if not the rest of it, for the consequences of his siblings’ actions. Upon receiving this kind of answer, he startled with an incredulous gasp and full stare at Jake. “But I—”

“It’s not about you, Neteyam,” Jake explained, although the words were harsh, he had done his best to soften the impact. “I did this. Blame me, okay?”

‘How could I?’ was written in neon letters over the boy’s head even if he didn’t say anything. Too good-natured. He idolized Jake a lot more than the man deserved. “Mother was… she was… She is grieving, she doesn’t mean it.”

“You gotta stop making excuses for people, boy. Especially when they’re in the right.” A smile pulled on his lips, but died as it was born. “I pushed and pushed until we reached the edge, thinking there was never an edge at all. I should have known better. I should have been better. This is between me and your sister, and that’s why it is me who has to go to the Tree of Souls.”

And he’d left, but not before pulling his boys into his chest, cradling the back of their heads against himself, the smell of home repulsing instead of comforting. Prickles on his skin was the comfort he got from being able to hug his children when you were absent. It didn’t feel right.

He missed you dearly, an aching, gaping hole in his very being that only grew larger as he saw what you left behind half-completed or messy like you’d stood up and gone off for a minute to come back to it later —

The unmade pallet from the night of your Iknimaya argument that Jake had shed tears on when he’d seen the state of it, having the signs of someone getting up from it like you would be returning to go back to sleep any second.

The unfinished bark plate you had set aside to eat later and fought Lo’ak not to touch it. a squabble Jake had to break before you started wasting food by throwing it at each other.

The stack of fruits you’d gathered that you never shared except for Neytiri sometimes.

The half-carved cup you were working on because the regular cups weren’t big enough for your water needs and you didn’t like to refill it about three times until you were satisfied.

The incomplete anklet you were making out of rainbow beads for Tuk that was confidential to everyone but Jake, who knew from observing you, of course — you were missing a couple colors that you just couldn’t seem to find, nagging his head off to just let you roam around farther and there was no danger as the sky people couldn’t get in the vortex.

The little animal doodles you scratched at your side of the tent when you couldn’t sleep at nights, waking Jake up in the process every single time to listen until your breathing evened out as sleep retook you in its arms again, because he was bodily programmed to startle awake at one single rustle in his living quarters from his Marine days and fell into old habits after the return of the sky people, he knew you had developed insomnia from being uncomfortable at High Camp, longing for your hammock cocooned in the safety and comfort of the forest.

And the dumb romance novels you had taken from the humans that you, Kiri and Tuk giggled about at girl’s nights reading out loud, Spider invited as an honorary guest at times, just so you could tease Kiri about him and annoy your brothers that they weren’t allowed in, but the human boy was.

All of them had no owner now. Neither of your family members could look at them, your ghost would appear in precious memories beside your belongings if they looked too much. He didn't need to concentrate for a phantom of you to appear, you were everywhere he looked, and even now, as the gently pulsating lavender humming, a song from Eywa herself, right underneath the veinlike, labyrinthine roots was the cool summer rain on Jake’s sizzling skin, all he could see was your first communion with Eywa in his arms while Neytiri formed the tsaheylu, the clan spread all around them in celebration.

“You’ve called, and I’ve answered,” he greeted in positivity. “I think this is the most direct you’ve been with me in a long while.”

He didn’t know if it was Eywa or you he was saying this to. He genuinely didn’t know.

Kneeling, and putting his arms on the mossy, thick root, he looked up to see the woodsprites swaying and floating in the air. He reached for his braid, letting the squirming nerve-endings coil around the white-cored lavender thread closest to him, taking in the presence of Eywa, all around yet nowhere at all, but listening. No sign of you. Was he supposed to talk like this? Just like this? Was he not allowed to see you?

Jake had to admit he had been harboring the tiniest expectation of meeting you somehow, or hearing your voice through the connection like he did with a Tree of Voices when Mo’at had cryptically informed him of his chance. But this was it?

If he failed, this would be it.

“I guess this isn’t all that different,” he said out loud, instead of thinking inwards where the confusion flew. “It’s been like this for a while now, you and I. You talk, I don’t hear you. I talk, you don’t hear me. We throw the same ball at each other only for it to bounce back. Monologuing to a tree is the same thing, except it doesn’t talk back like you do.”

He looked up and around, there was nothing else to do. The air was the same as it always was in here. Always accommodating to what each Na’vi found comforting. “The last time I came here like this was to ask for Eywa’s help in the last stand against sky people. I told her I would fight either way, I knew that’s why she’d chosen me. All my life, all I’ve done was fight. Even when I wasn’t able to, I was fighting lesser battles with the excuse of not having anything to fight for. It’s all I’ve known. All I’ve ever done. It’s what I was best at.” His brow twitched, and Jake tried to keep his composure, not because he didn’t want anybody to see, no, it was to keep his shit together so he didn’t fuck this up. He had to be honest. His pride was the last thing he needed in his way at the moment.

“You were born to a different man. To a changed man. To a father who could let go because he thought his family was safe. You got to meet the man I used to be when my reason for fighting came back from my star. I know you don’t like that person — you can’t — couldn’t get used to him. I know.”

From the discomfort, his fingers dug into the moss first, and found the bark of the root, his fist curling on it next. “But I had to keep fighting.” He softly brought his fist back on the root. “The strong prey on the weak, that’s just how things are. That’s how I had it on my star. And my kids — you, you are weak, and it’s not an insult — it’s not me criticizing, Jesus, you are just children, and there’s a war on your damn heads. That’s what I mean. That’s what I’ve always meant. It’s natural that you are weak, Eywa was kind enough to let you be soft. Not Earth, though, never Earth.”

Jake had to clench his teeth and bite the anger into the inside of his mouth to not be boiled alive — not to let it reach to your side. He let out a soundless snarl. “You would never be ready for the cruelty of Earth, I would never wish that upon any of you. But it was brought to you. Right at your doorstep. I couldn’t protect you from it by hugs and kisses. You wouldn’t be safe from a gun extended to you by extending a branch in return. No.”

He reached and caressed the glowing thread, brows furrowed. “I did what I thought was right to prepare you. Every single one of you. I was making you tough. I had to. To protect you. And of course there would be clashing along the way, it’s what happens between parent and child. We fight. We fight like cats and dogs for dominance. You try me to show strength. I stand my ground to let you know you gotta do better.”

He had fired those sentences with incoherent speed, and when he got to the end of it, Jake got choked up. Stopped for a moment, took a breath. Blinking several times, his tone became vulnerable, he didn’t have anyone in front of him, but he tore away his gaze anyway. “Somewhere along the way, things just… Without me noticing, everything…” He sighed through his nose, his voice nothing but a whisper. “I fought more battles than I fought for my family. I thought I was doing my job as a father when I didn’t even know shit about being a father.”

A couple seconds floated by, and his gaze was stolen by a lone woodsprite descending down until it staggered on the fist he had against the root. The shine of it reflected from the mistiness of his eyes. His lower lip slightly trembled at the thought of it being you. This little woodsprite. You?

“The thing is, I’m lost, sweetheart,” he admitted quietly, small, shaky, not taking his eyes off the woodsprite. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I sit here, I look back, and think why I keep fighting. We could have migrated. Looked for a new Hometree. Another forest. Left the humans alone. Or made peace. A treaty. Something. None of your lives had to be sullied by war. Yet I chose this. I chose to fight, as I ‘ve always done, because now I had something to fight for. And the fighting wasn’t limited to them, I fought Neteyam, I fought Lo’ak, I fought you, my own kids, and I didn’t even know.”

He reached for it with his other hand, tentatively, scared that it would fly away with the slightest contact. But he was able to touch the top of the woodsprite ever so slightly, the little zap making all the hair on his body stand up. Jake swallowed thickly, his whole head on fire. “I don’t know what to do. I just miss you. I miss you so much, sweet girl. I wish you would scream at me. Say you hate me for all I care. Anything. Hate me until the day you die, but do it with all of your family surrounding you in old age, in peace. I would be content knowing you are under the same sky as me. But I’m forgetting your voice already, and I—” He held back a violent sob, hissed to not let it out, and groaned, getting angry at himself for the emotions. He shut his eyes tightly, willing away the tears. “I wish I could say these to your face. I wish I could see you one last time, smiling at me.”

Having everything to lose. Having lost everything. Having nothing to lose. Three different meanings had coiled around each other like snakes to become one singular outcome in linear relation of cause-and-effect through you. It wasn’t a cycle.

Having something to fight for. Having nothing left to fight for. Having nothing to fight for. You were everything. Everything. What could Jake do? How was he supposed to fight when he had no concrete opponent?

“I see you.”

The voice — your voice, albeit much, much younger, almost made him jump. When his eyes shot open, Jake was in a different location. He knew this place. The creek away from the village he and his family often frequented.

The twilight penumbra of the eclipse dimmed the shadows embracing the forest, but the ethereally glowing lights of all colors illuminated and got reflected from the water as if it was a mirror. Above and all around him were lazily dancing fireflies — or, rather, bioluminescent bugs he didn’t know the names of, tiny stars floating in the air like glitter. It was magical.

Jake realized with aching melancholy that this was the first time he’d taken you out on an eclipse to show you the beauty of the forest on a special father-daughter date. The exact memory.

The breath that left him was shaky as he felt the presence sitting right beside him, in the corner of his vision, he saw the ripples on the shining water made by swinging legs.

Jake froze for a second. Unmoving. Not looking at all — because if this was a dream, or a hallucination, he wouldn’t be able to bear it. His breathing got louder, more labored, the log underneath his hands was so realistically textured and damp. If he looked. If he looked, you would disappear. That’s how he felt.

He was supposed to talk. But now, his ribcage was holding the words hostage, burning with the strain of the pile-up.

“But I’m sad you don’t see me,” you said, and he was shaken by hearing your voice yet again, remembering the moment he found himself here, how he’d heard — ‘I see you’. “You don’t even want to look at me.”

So much hurt and vulnerability in that sentence that it left him breathless.

It all happened in a matter of seconds. Him launched into his own turmoil racking his brain about how Quaritch was back as an avatar, ignoring to look at you to protect his composure and just trying to think, think — think, of a plan, of a how, of what to do. You calling after him once Neytiri, you and he arrived at High Camp after dodging Quaritch’s men. Him purposefully walking away because he needed to cool off and not to explode on you right there and there.

That whole time, Jake hadn’t looked at you. If he did, he would have seen you needed help.

He shattered, all of his walls crumbling down, stripped down to bare despair.

“Oh sweetheart.” Before he knew it, he had wrapped his arms around you in a crushing hug, basically snatching you off from where you were sitting and on his lap, and your warmth, your pulse, your tangible existence wrenched a shiver out of him — and he buried his face to the little crook of your neck, taking your scent in, hiding his trembling face and the quiver of his arms by holding you tight. You were here. As your younger self, no older than eight, but he had you. Not bloody and battered in his arms, but alive, so alive. “Oh sweet girl, my sweet girl… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He kissed the side of your head, felt the real tickle of your hair against his face, blessed with the soothe of his child’s smell. “I see you. Of course I see you. I’ve always seen you.”

The snowflake-frail snivel followed by your sobbing sniffle broke his heart into pieces. “You’re a liar.” He shook his head, hugging you tighter. “You’re mean to me. You’re so mean to me.”

“I’m sorry.” That was all he could say. All he could do with his thrashing soul smoldering at the wetness of your tears on his shoulder. “I am mean. I’m sorry… You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“It hurt so much.” You wailed. “It hurt a lot.”

Jake began to caress your head with an awkward, clumsy, panicked hand, disturbed as to if you meant the moment of your death — at him pressing on the wound with all he had to stop the bleeding, or he and your strained relationship in general. “I know, sweetheart,” he said anyway, a stone clogging his throat. He didn’t try to explain, or tell you why, didn’t argue that it wasn’t what he meant to do. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. He had you in his arms. “I know. I know.”

You wouldn’t get to be younger than this. And maybe, he would never get to see you be older, either. The thought crumpled his face like some piece of paper. Jake just wanted to hold you. And when you wrapped your little arms around him too, freely crying in his arms, a couple tears escaped his eyes as well, he didn’t know what kind of face he was making, perhaps it was better that you didn’t see him crumble.

In the middle of it somewhere, he realized that you were younger because it was your inner child that needed this, she was more honest — more open with Jake. It caused him to sway with you back and forth, ribcage hurting with each breath. And you let it all out, clinging to him.

“I love you, always,” he whispered, watching the bioluminescent bugs, when you were calmer and had fallen silent on his chest, not wanting to let him go and just listening to his heartbeat. “Even if I don’t show it — especially when I don’t show it. You are loved, my sweet girl, more than you know. More than you’ll ever know. More than I can show.” He looked down at the top of your head, agonized. “But I want to try. I want to show you more, moving forward.”

Knowing what he was insinuating, “But it’s nice here,” you said, voice thick and coarse from crying. You still didn’t pull back to look at him. Both of you, from the start of this, never looked at one another. Not once. Embarrassed and shameful to be honest, Jake thought. That pride you two shared. “You’re not mean to me here.”

But he needed to see you. You needed to be seen. So, as gently as he could, he unwrapped your arms around him, and took your baby cheeks in his hands, and looked you in the eyes. Another tear slipped from him. “You been listenin’ to me, right sweetheart? From the start?” You nodded adorably. You wouldn’t have said oel ngati kameie and accepted to let him see you if you hadn’t felt his true intentions and heart through him pouring it all out at the Tree of Souls. “I’m hiding a lot of things. But I want to be open with you. You wanna know the secret why I’m… mean?” You nodded again, more reluctant this time. “It’s because I’m scared.”

You gasped, genuinely lost and shocked, and he tried not to smile at the purity, the innocence. “You? You’re scared?”

“All the damn time,” he whispered, landing a kiss on your temple, his opposite thumb tracing a loving line on your other temple. “Every day. Every night.”

“But you’re Toruk Makto. You’re never scared.”

“I’m also a dad,” he said sorrowfully, as if he was giving out a secret. “And it’s precisely why I’m scared. I’m scared for you. For your siblings. Of losing you. It turns into anger. Anger turns into irreparable damage. Things I can’t take back.”

In the blink of an eye, you were back to your real age. For some reason he couldn’t quite grasp, you had shed the exterior of your childhood. But he didn’t mind, didn’t let you off his lap.

“Don’t be scared, I’m here,” you said, putting your own small palm on his cheek, upset by the fact that he was feeling like that in the first place rather than whatever explanation he had. Your response was also childish, but he leaned into your touch anyway, comforted regardless, even if you were already gone — for this moment, he could ignore that no, you weren’t here at all. “If you told us, we would have been more careful not to make you sad.”

Ah, he was being lectured on communication by his kid. It had a certain flavor of humbleness to it. Jake adored it nonetheless. “I know,” he said, “I’m sorry. I won’t be mean anymore.”

“That’s a lie.”

Jake couldn’t stop the laugh, though it was tottering. “Yeah, it is. But I promise you that I’ll never hurt you again.”

“That’s a lie too. Wasn’t it you who said not to make promises you can’t keep?”

“Alright, smartypants, let me rephrase it then,” the little glimpses of your brash self made him happy. “I will never intentionally hurt you, and if I end up doing so, unknowingly, I will always make it up to you. No exceptions.”

You were acting uninterested, but stole intrigued glances at him. “How are you gonna make it up to me?”

“I’ll let you choose, how does that sound?” Jake tapped your nose. “In return, if I don’t know and haven’t taken the first step, you’ll have to tell me outright what I did.”

You deadpanned. “But I always do.”

“No, you don’t.” He raised one of his eyebrows. “You become passive-aggressive when you’re annoyed and pick fights with me.”

“That’s not—”

“Sweetheart.”

“Okay, fine.” You huffed. The normalcy had made him forget just what he was doing here. “But you get angry.”

“What I get angry at is—” He cut himself off with a tongue click. “Not important. I do get angry. But at sincere honesty, us just talking it out, I could never get angry at that. Is the difference clear?”

“I think it is.” You were apprehensive about something, your fingers on his neck flexing as if you wanted to pull them back and break the hug. “But you have to promise.”

“I promise.” And then, Jake remembered, a new fire hardening his face, not in anger, but determination. “And speaking of which. I would never. Ever. Not in a million years would get angry or blame you for getting hurt to that degree — for others, humans, avatars, whoever and whatever the hell they are, hurting you, I could never get mad at you for it. Do you understand me? Your safety is the most important to me. I could never hate you for it.” His voice dropped down to a softer, gentler tone just above a whisper. “There is nothing in this world that’ll make me hate you. Nothing. I will love you through the most heinous crimes and in inexcusable deeds, you will find forgiveness in me even if there’s nobody left, that’s a father’s heart. Forever and always, I am with you.” He touched his forehead, and then yours. “I see you.”

You avoided eye contact.

Ah, yes, the famous emotional awkwardness. He was sort of aware his feelings had reached you, you just didn’t know what to say. Jake hadn’t been like this with you for the longest time. So, he decided to make you more comfortable. “Yes I will get mad at you for breaking curfew, and yes, we might stop talking for a while and beef about the dumbest things if the fight is too intense — but always, always come to me when something is wrong. I will drop everything without hesitation.” He leaned in a bit to catch your wayward stare. “Got it?”

You murmured. “Okay.”

“Are we clear?”

You murmured once more. “Yeah.”

“Repeat it, then.”

There was something between cringing and unwillingness on your face, but at his pointed look, you sighed, giving in. “Always come to you if something’s wrong even if we’re fighting.”

“That’s right,” he affirmed, encouraging to let you know this wasn’t embarrassing. “What else?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Dad will always love you.” He nudged you, noting the flick of your ears in happiness when he’d said it. “Come on, say it.”

You didn’t look at him when you said it, but your voice was light. “Dad will always love me…”

“Dad will never hate you.”

Sheepishness took over, making Jake smile. “Dad will never hate me.”

“And. Come talk to me about it if I’ve ever hurt you without noticing so I can make it up to you.”

“Always go to you if I’m hurt and you’re unaware of it.”

“That’s right,” in this form as well, he gave your temple another kiss, heart soaring at your beautiful smile he had been dying to see. “Good girl.”

“You’re giving me a lot of power.”

“Nothing my mighty hunter can’t handle.”

The smile on your face died down. It came to Jake right away what had gone wrong. “Sweetheart—” “I didn’t mean that. You know—” But you didn’t know. Jake had to stop trying to make it easier on himself. “I’m proud of you. I’m so proud of you. About everything. About the ikran, I’m so goddamn proud. I said it, and I can’t take that back, I was angry and I was trying reverse psychology — you know what, it doesn’t matter. But you are my mighty hunter. Will always be.”

You got confident a bit, but were still testing the waters. “Well I proved I am.”

“Yes, you did,” he rejoiced, no rejection or doubt whatsoever. “Message received, Lima Charlie.”

You giggled freely, joyfully at the recognition, and Jake ached again remembering how much he’d missed that carefree, precious thing, he swore pixie dust was in it. You slipped from his lap to sit crossed-legged beside him, and he instantly missed being able to hold you close. “Wish you were there to see me.”

“Me too, sweet girl.” Your Iknimaya was a disaster. A long-passed, sacred tradition broken wasn’t as important to him as it was to Neytiri — but he knew she longed to see you complete it, by your side, as eagerly as he did. And you had been alone in your pride, when he knew from a very young age, you had been the most excited for it. Everything had been ruined and there was nothing he could do to undo it. “Will you tell me about it?”

The phantom of pensiveness on his face hadn’t quite registered with you yet, getting excited to tell him all about it like nothing had happened the moment you knew Jake wanted to know. As if you weren’t dead. As if nothing was wrong. “Well first of all, I broke Neteyam’s record.”

A mournful smile tugged on his lips. “Did you now?”

“Hell yeah!” You started gesturing with your arms. “It took, like, two minutes? One minute? Too easy.”

“You know easy means the ikran didn’t give you much of a fight, right?”

“Or, or.” One finger was raised up at him to raise another option. “I was too skilled.”

“The ikran might have been meh about you.” Jake teased. “You sure it chose you? Or did you just chase it down and it was stuck with you?”

“That’s so wrong!” He threw his head back to laugh at your outburst. “He was watching me get there the whole time! Like, from the start. His eye was on me, I just know it. You’re just jealous you didn’t get Bob like I got Jack. I was badass.”

That made him pause. “Jack?”

“Yeah, his name’s Jack.”

He couldn’t imagine Neytiri’s reaction to the blandest name imaginable, oh god. “Why?”

“Named him after you.” You tipped your head at him, raising your brows. “It’s healing, you know. He listens to me without questioning. He’s also very sweet. Unlike a certain someone.”

“Oh you little shit—”

“I didn’t say anything.” Raising your hands in defense first, you crossed your arms on your chest next. “Certain someone can mean anyone. It can mean Lo’jack—”

“Lo’jack, really? Really?” Jake half-snorted, half-scoffed. “This a new one after Lovak?”

“Jackiri—”

“Jackiri is pretty sweet, c’mon now,” he gave a blank stare. “Hope you’re not gonna say Jackeyam.”

“Jacktirey?” You asked, undecided. “She’s an anklebiter.”

“Oh, for sure.”

“Could be Jack the Ripper, Bojack Horseman, Jack-in-a-box. Jack-o-lantern.”

“All people, of course.”

“Yeah, all people.” You snapped your fingers in mock-remembrance. “Hit the road Jack.”

“Oh wow, even him?” Jake lowered his voice, leaning towards you, mocking astonishment. “Legendary figure, that guy.”

“Jack of All Trades.”

“Well, that ikran really seems to be one to me.”

“I know, right?” You stopped, and he saw that thought process, and before he could open his mouth, you blurted it out. “Unlike a certain someone I know.”

“You punk.” Jake pushed you lightly by your shoulder. “You’re pushin’ it.”

You smiled with all your teeth at him, with hands on your calves, leaning down to act cute, and Jake could pretend this was normal. That he’d fixed everything. And all was right in the world now that you were laughing with him — he’d made you smile. .

But suddenly you looked scared, looking at something over his shoulder, shrunken pupils focusing on him and whatever it was rapidly. It kicked him awake from his delusion. He tensed, tail jumping upwards, straight as a rod. “What is it, sweetheart? What’s wrong?”

Your breath hitched, and the next thing he knew, you had pushed him away, and he was falling towards the water. The last thing he saw was only a blur of you — the bioluminescent bugs became shooting stars with a thread of glow left behind them, the whole world tilted, but he didn’t hit the water, instead, he rolled down the small slope he had to climb to reach the tree.

Disoriented, he saw the root was almost split in half — bullet marks, a cloud of splinters and debris was flying around where he used to be sitting.

A lone avatar just ahead. Having made it all the way to the Tree of Souls. He didn’t know where this man had come from.

Heart picking up and roaring in his ears, all Jake could think about was, One chance.

He hadn’t even spoken to you properly yet, hadn’t said all the things he wanted to, hadn't even gotten your word, and this man — this son of a bitch — humans had taken you once again.

Once again.

You will only have one chance.

“Lucky asshole,” the man looked at him behind the barrel of the long assault rifle. “Gonna make you pay for what you pulled yesterday.”

Your ethereal smile going up in smokes at the back of his head, Jake saw red.

taglist: @ihonestlydontknowwhattonamethis@alohastitch0626 @jackiehollanderr @lucciera @qvrcll @iloveavatar @velvtcherie @ssc7514 @goldenmoonbeam @neteyamforlife @itsluludoll @jakesullys-bitch @blubrryy @sully-stick-together @arminsgfloll @alice121804 @noname2246 @justthingzsblog @eywamygoddess @m-1234 @ellabellabus07 @hellok1ttycake @dakotali @bluefire12348 @abbersreads @yellooaaa @aimsro @octavias-next-meat-bite @nikqdn @nao-cchi @spicycloudsalad @yeosxxx @heybiatchz @winxschester @elegantkidfansoul @eichenhouseproperty @kakimakiloh @dueiosy @liyahsocorro @dimplesxx @tigresslily@n8ivatar @strnqer @lillybbyy @jakesullyssluttt @r3dc4ndy @myheartfollower @gcldtom @bunnyrose01 @aceofheartzzz @ghoulbli @slasherfcker505 @ducks118 @megsthings @graykageyama @gwolf92

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#dad!jake x daughter!reader #dad!jake sully x daughter!reader #dad!jake sully x reader #jake sully x reader #jake sully x daughter!reader #sully family x reader #mom!neytiri x reader #neteyam x sister!reader #neytiri x daughter!reader #lo'ak x sister!reader #kiri x sister!reader

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gale-gentlepenguin · 1 year

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In your opinion, what are the top three peaks of worst narrative choice in Miraculous?

An interesting question, because with Narrative choices, its not so much one episode its the impact it has throughout the series.

But because I dont want to solely be Negative. I will also pick 3 POSITIVE narrative peaks as well. (I am only talking about what has aired so far. there could be choices later on I dont like or enjoy more than before. But we will see)

3rd worst

Su Han and the Order of Guardians

me too luka, me too.

Honestly the whole thing with Feast. which i thought would make this list, but nope. Because of Su han, I think Feast did the world a f***ing favor

Su Han is still my least favorite character. He is a stick in the mud that comes to yell and does nothing. The fact that he shows up in season 4 and doesnt even help Marinette with Guardian stuff is bulls***. He should be helping by teaching Mirakungfu, or anything!

Really, he only exists to show that Fu really made the best out of a s*** situation. When the order was beaten by a 4 FOOT TALL BLUE DOG, Having met Su Han, I understand why now.

3rd Best

Marinette telling Alya she's Ladybug

So this one is something many people are on the fence about. If you like this choice, you like or tolerate Alya. If you dont, you hate alya.

I for one Love Alya and Marinette who was sinking in her new responsibility gains a confidant that wants to help and do whats best for her. (she is like 80/20 on that but still, its the thought that counts)

Alya does help flesh out somethings and helps Marinette grow as a guardian and is probably the reason Chat noir didnt f***ing ditch earlier than kuro neko.

Alya even showed to be a somewhat competent ladybug replacement. But thats out the window with the recent episodes. I still think this is one of the best choices made in season 4

2nd Worst

Sentimonsters are Sentient

The show is weird with Sentimonsters. Now I dont know if Sentiadrien is 100% confirmed. But its gross how some sentimonsters are given more respect than others. It is like "Oh only the Human looking ones are sentient" Sentinino, Sentialec, Sentigabriel, sentibubbler all got controlled like puppets with no agency and no one gave a f***.

They should just be emotion's given form and nothing more. Because basically the peacock miraculous creates slaves. And its kind of f***ed up. Id put this at number one, but its still sort of being explored and if the show finds a way to give the sentimonsters full control or a means of not getting erased on a whim, I can over look it. But yea, its pretty bad.

2nd Best

Gabriel Getting all the other Miraculous

I have wanted this since SEASON 2!

The problem with season 3 and 4 was the fact that Ladybug and Chat noir had access to so many powers, heroes and abilities that basically Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth were not even a threat anymore. That they could have taken him down at anytime if they were more active. Like no cap, why didnt Marinette give herself the snake AND horse when she went for Shadowmoth in Sentibubbler. Or the horse and Bee? Stun his butt and WIN.

With Gabriel having the miraculous, the tables and stakes are now high again. Ladybug and Chat noir are up against the wall. Thats where the tension needs to be if you want things to develop.

The Worst

Miracle Queen (The last 10 minutes)

So this may seem like cheating but this episode really did a LOT and had a massive impact on the show. Lets have a check list.

It had Fu wipe his memories (something that apparently he could do but was never mentioned)

Chloé's growth and development is completely tossed out that she ends up exactly how she was in season 1 (and eventually worse)

The love rivals start dating the heroes because Marinette read Fu's letter which just told her "Life sucks and you gotta settle"

So basically it pulled a Deus ex machina out of its butt, destroyed the potential of a redemption arc and then make no means of seeing a struggle just poof, like it didnt even happen. And then the love rivals that had hardly any screen time (maybe like 2 episodes total with the heroes) are just dating.

The last one may have gotten axed but the first two are ever present and its horse crap.

The Best

Chat Blanc

So this is gonna need some explaining. While I am not crazy about the time travel, and I am not crazy about all the things in the episode, or even how some of the trauma is handled. Chat Blanc is an excellent choice to show the viewer how things can go wrong.

Its not the scenario where Hawkmoth wins, its not the heroes winning. Its EVERYONE LOSES.

This episode took Season 3 to the darkest its been. I would have loved if it was several episodes. I would have loved if this was explored more. But the fact that the group took a concept fans have thought about and brought it to such an NTH degree

I 100% can say with certainty before this episode no one wrote Chat blanc in fanfiction as an end of world threat. Maybe a dangerous beast or feral cat. But NOT A COSMIC LEVEL THREAT.

This episode demonstrated how dangerous the powers of the miraculous are. It gave the viewer a reason on why Marinette and Adrien dont share their identities right away. Its because of the worst case scenario.

(I would have put origins, cause umbrella scene but thats not so much a narrative choice as it is the start of everything, but know its basically pseudo number one)

#ml #ml critique #ml sweet and salty #gale rants #miraculous ladybug #i can list the good and bad

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oswednesday · 8 months

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that library posts reminded me of a while back, idk if you saw it but there was a popular post making rounds where someone was lamenting the fact that shopping malls, as public spaces, are dying in favor if ubiquitous online shopping and there was this reactionary commentary about how malls are just capitalistic crap there to sell you stuff they arent any better than amazon why don't you visit the library instead, and it's like I get the sentiment of like yeah it's a place to sell you stuff but once again I can tell you don't Go Places because malls are in fact, "free" public spaces in the sense that you DON'T actually NEED to spend money to enter, use the restrooms, congregate and socialize, especially ones with food courts, one of the few places teenagers can kinda freely hang out too and not get booted out for "loitering" (ymmv depending on the mall ofc, shrug), people also go there like deliberately to do around for exercise and stuff, and like comparing malls to libraries is apples to oranges like these aren't the same thing serving the same purpose, just because something is there to sell things doesn't make the entire entity a waste of space, idk?

i wish people got more into like understanding the monetary drive of a lot of libraries in our present day too and like how libraries treat loitering tm and stuff like that, like libraries can be a life line for unhoused people but anyone who is or was in that position can tell how it was a life line like wrangled out of the hands of the staff there, and like yeah its not like malls were/are any better for that but its like these two separate problems like exactly no one can just occupy their space and chill anywhere thats the point!!! like libraries where you cant bring food (you can do this but you know theyre like Rules and stuff to ignore), be loud, have to have forms of id and often money to use services? like, its just isnt a proper third space, its a civil academic space with rules and targeted services

i know its kind of the quintessential idealized third space in discussion but it isnt the 1980s anymore (the height of malls where this comparison exists in flesh and blood like go to the mall why not try a third space) but like what you've said malls are mostly husks now except for like world famous ones where people go to jog or rent out spaces to have a dentist office or film an urbex building, theyre over policed like everywhere, even more so than ever tbh of course, back to your point its a weird kind of like urban pastoral thing people do, like in the present day these things are different than they were and things arnt like, as clear cut tv perfect, theres a reason theres like queer libraries and anarchist libraries and its okay not to have any deeper understanding than libraries are dope but like asdfghj

like hey? a lot of libraries have you grovel to the librarian for keys for the bathroom but you can piss anywhere in the carcass of a mall i think people from big touristy places dont really understand hfhgf

#and of course this isnt booo anti libraries that would be insane this is just like

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lusciouslii · 2 years

Text

actually yknow what forget that, my kink blog ill post whatever little thoughts i want. even if im just yelling into the void at least i get to yell!

longer rant incoming bc im tired and want this out of my system!!

so i met this guy on feabie and immediately it was super exciting because we go to the same college!!

hes also super fucking hot which was its own weird thing bc ive really never experienced like physical sexual attraction so that was weird. but yeah dude looks good and he has a nice voice so thats already not helping me

we’ve met up a couple times now, once to sorta test the waters, once just to cuddle in my room???? which looking back it was at that point i was straight up fucked because as someone who had recently gotten out of a bad relationship in which all my needs and emotions had been completely neglected, having that kind of sweet and affectionate intimacy?? all while my chubby body is being praised and adored??? never once had that in my LIFE.

the other few times has been pretty lowkey too. we did do a feeding session once but i got sick and it was the most humiliating thing. but he was so nice and caring and we continued to talk afterwards so i just try not to think about it anymore lol

we didnt talk much over the summer since i had to go back home across the country, but he reached out a few times and i was like damn ok im still of interest to him

this semester started great because i planted the seed (aka posted a pic showing i was back over here) knowing he would probably see it and if he’d say anything, and he fucking did he reached out and was excited i was back and wanted to meet up soon. schedules were a little rough but eventually we did!

i felt extra happy because it was sort if spur of the moment decision and he was moving back an online hangout he’d been planning with friends for a couple weeks. so i was like omg he really wants to see me even if only for a little bit thats so nice

and now that we have several months ahead of us we started talking about doing more of a feeder/feedee setup and things like that and im, obviously, super into the idea, and he seemed super into it too!! the dirty things he said to me that night!!!! not fair!!!!!!!

i sent pics later that night bc we talked about it and he said he’d “return the favor” lol but the. like. i sent them and he didn’t say anything until i posted a pic to feabie 🙃 and he was like oh sorry i completely missed your text! which like alright, and he asked me how i was doing and blah blah brief smalltalk

i asked if he wanted to meet up again soon and he said “Yea I’d be down, I gotta see what’s going on tho / need to play it by ear”

now heres where i get all introspective because to me, i dont see why we couldnt just schedule something in the future. unless, that is, hes trying to keep his schedule open for other stuff. i can get that to a certain degree, and i have to like. really ponder on it because i dont want to be some clingy needy girl who is fawning after a guy im not even dating, but its like….idk it makes me feel kinda sad? that im not enough of a priority to want to pick a set day to do something? so idk how to feel about that exactly

anyways i tried asking again some days later and he wasnt free, no surprise, usually when we do something its sorta this impulsive last minute thing, which again like. sorta plays into that whole im not really a priority unless idk youre horny or something

but its weird cause it seems like he does care and does want more than just horny shenanigans? we havent had sex yet and have only even had one actual feeding session. soooo worlds most patient fuckboy if thats the case but i just really dont get those vibes

but also im gullible and see the best in people i care about and thats how i got fucked over in my last relationship

im just feeling pretty sad about the whole thing right now because we talked about doing all these things and i really want that but hes so uncommunicative and im afraid of being obsessive. again, might be on me too because im going in thinking maybe theres a chance to do more

but then again even if there isnt thats FINE i just want to do SOMETHING lmao

so now im just left wanting and thinking about him a lot and oh yeah need i remind WE GO TO THE SAME SCHOOL WHY CANT WE JUST MEET UP CASUALLY ONE AFTERNOON 😭

idk but im afraid of maybe ruining the best relationship ive formed in this kink after figuring out what i wanted from it. god even now im just like “youre thinking too hard about this it doesnt matter that much, youre supposed to be flexible and chill and just go with the flow cause its just a little side thing” but welp. my brain is noisy and i dont have a good outlet. another problem of not having friends in this kink but im not good at responding to people which online is the only way to talk to people and now im just rambling

anyways ending this here and hoping he’ll reach out eventually cause boy does the heart yearn 🥲🥲🥲

#also WOW i pray he doesnt somehow find this #he doesnt have my tumblr #but it wouldnt be too hard to figure out from what he does have

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alfonzone · 6 months

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im not sure why but i feel like we're both hopeless romantics lol im sorry if i got the wrong impression 😅

anyways, for the "if we were dating ask", i have a few ideas :)!

id hold you in my lap and reassure you that everything will be okay and work out in your favor. good morning and night texts are an absolute given ofc. probably be handsy on your butt lol (mainly bc despite being hispanic, mines is nonexistent lol and also my exes never let me touch it). give you flowers too! physical touch is a big thing for me, so lots of that and it doesnt always have to be in a sexual way. im also the jealous type (unfortunately) so id need words of affirmation lol

anyways thats all i'll say for now :) i have more ideas but i dont wanna make this too long bc i tend to ramble lol

hahaha, nah you got it right, I'm definitely a hopeless romantic person.

I'm so convinced that I won't find love out there that I'm already going to look for single parent surrogate applications and centers —

I love the idea of dedicating my life to a small little gremlin that'll be half my DNA.

One of my friends is IMPLORING me to give eHarmony another chance but right now I'm a I don't give a fuck anymore, I'll just daydream about love and sex.

I don't even care that I don't care anymore

Now, to your response, which by the way, this fuels my delusional loser self so thank you:

Sigh ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ thank you. Words of affirmation is my new love language. If you're willing to tell me that you appreciate me and I'm valued in your life then you got me forever as a friend or lover. Sometimes I just need a reminder or to know that I'm a good part of your life that's all. It helps me when I'm feeling alone in this world.

I don't ever get good morning or good night texts haha, well my friend N sent a good night after letting me know about something that was going on early in the morning, but it was random so yeah, besides that, I never get them. Anyways, she's hilarious, and so quick witted. I freaking adore that about her!!

But yes, definitely would appreciate goodnight/good morning texts ♥️

Hahaha, if I'm yours, you'll have free access to every part of my body, especially my big butt 😌😌 (especially if you're exes never allowed you to do so)

Oooh, I would definitely appreciate receiving flowers

Exactly!! it doesn't always have to be sexual!! It can be random 5 seconds back rubs, or holding/playing with the hands, shoulder to shoulder, legs over the lap while chilling in the living room, running hands through the hair, foot massages, cheek/forehead kisses, long hugs, etc!!

Haha, that's cute, I'm not a mind reader so I appreciate if I'm told that they're not feeling well, or feel unattractive, or something like that so I can remind them how much I appreciate them and love their features. Bonus points if I'm asked straight up to write what I love about them because I love proclaiming my love and appreciation to those I love.

Here ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

I ramble as, but I appreciate you so very much for sending this. Sometimes it's nice to dream about something that's far reach 😊😊😊😊

—

#someday tho right?#i say that with my delusional optimism haha #😊😊😊#asks #this sounded so dreamy #sighhh #anon

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emmacreatures · 8 months

Text

A new danger in sight

OKAY IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS!! A new racer story, featuring Rafael and vernon, two mayhem causing men in the racer industry. It took me a bit to think on how these two possibly meet, but now after a few days of tweaking I'm upmost excited about this!! @niku30 made me the most incredible pieces featuring these two, and I'M SO EXCITED TO BE FUELED WITH inspiration!! As some might've read; Vernon is the character that got pushed back after Cruze took his spot in the races. But the man still has his blood boiling. lets say he's the meanie of the family.. And eventually turning into a danger thanks to someone who fuels him to the max, and notices they're quite similar. FEATURING rafael, the most hottest man in the world, with his unhinged behavior, and Vernon mccoy, along his dad Carlos. I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS INTRODUCTION. I had so much fun writing this hejdbd

Carlos sighed as he was getting things ready. "Everyone please, be ontime. I dont like to make people wait." Carlos said like a true father that he was, having been invited by the nascar races to have some overal gathering. Carlos was a massive name through the days as the mccoy.. But as Cruze got through the trials and made his way into the world, every now and then, old and new racers would be invited for a party like gathering to connect everyone together. Paparazzi especially loved these gatherings. Some racers that no longer were around or had decided to stop would show up again for a small moment on that day.. Making them all hungry to ask all kinds of questions.. Knowing they'll be overwhelmed by all kinds of people, but it was part of that world. "You have everything?" Carlos asked gently Alissa, who smiled. "Rayner's ready, I might already head out there, would you mind?" Rayner's mom said as Carlos softly gave a kiss. "Of course not, we'll follow soon. You'll be bothered enough on your own I bet. We wont be far behind" Carlos said as Alissa left gently, making Carlos frown as his own son was once again not around, or doing his own thing without much consideration for everyone else. "Vernon?..." He called once in the huge mansion they lived at.. Grunting before he walked through the big hallways. "I swear, its like putting a leash on a great white. Where is that kid- Vernon?" He called again, hearing a sudden displeased voice "What?" He said as he arced an eyebrow while he held his phone in his hand, wearing his black clothing as per usual. "I'm heading out to the gathering we've been invited to. I have the feeling you dont have any plans?" "And what if I do.. I'm not going to show my support to the snake that took my spot" Vernon said as the anger was still fresh, making Carlos sigh..

"We've been asked to come as the mccoy family. If it makes you happy, cruze does not fall under it despite we're family. Do us a favor and show up for our name at least" Carlos said as he already regretted asking his own son. Vernon was a tough and difficult man to deal with. Despite being almost 30 at this rate.. It felt like Vernon was stuck in a constant puberty.. At least thats what it felt for Carlos. The constant arrogance, stubborn behavior, and sass, along a strong unresolved rage issue in combination of a spoiled brat.. Which now became a bit of a rebel.. Made Vernon a ticking time bomb at times.. But nothing fueled it to the max, yet or made it go overboard. It was still.. somehow being able to be controlled and checked by carlos to not make it go too dangerous or to the point it cant be saved anymore. "and why should I. I dont owe anyone- that aside, I feel like you're not approving of anything I've done in the past, especially these days." Vernon said as he looked pissed. "Hell.. I almost feel like you're preferring.. Cruze, over me and now.. Suddenly you want me to join your family name?" Vernon said with a slight threatening undertone, making Carlos sigh. He would almost admit he had been having a better connection with cruze, but saying that would be a wrong move.. With a deep sigh, Carlos replied. "You know what. I dont want a fight with you. I just asked you along okay? At this rate you've been giving me a headache, we've been asked to come as the mccoy family, you ARE a mccoy. You're close to getting into the real games now. Surely you might appreciate to build up some connections that could potentially help you. Might even have some sponsors among them?" Carlos said as a good mention, making Vernon snort. "I would've already been if cruze hadnt taken everything. As if he hasnt had enough-" "I know you guys are a little rough to each-" Before carlos could even finish his sentence, the anger of vernon came through. "Rough to each other- HE stole my spot. Illegally took my car and got a chance in the racing games despite not having a license. Its-" Vernon couldnt even finish his sentence as a threatening look fell upon his face.. Breathing out more strong as Carlos continued talking. "As if you never do anything wrong Vernon.. I know your preference in driving-" "as if you're so clean.. The mccoy name was meant to be a threat.. Everyone feared you. Thats our whole slogan. You used to do the best tricks that were just touching that warning line, just being able to get away with it.. until you became weak for that woman and decided it was enough-" "leave alissa out of this. Okay. Sure, you have that same determination and hunger that wont leave you.. But please, behave. just join for an hour, you can leave afterwards, we can take your car so we can go whenever you want" Carlos said as Vernon rolled his eyes.. before he'd agree.. Making Carlos sigh and go through his hair before they got into one of Vernon's cars, as Carlos drove them to it. For Vernon was just scrolling on the media, seeing who was going to attend the gathering, and sorta party for the higher end racers.. Carlos felt the need to tell the man one thing as they were getting closer.

"do me one more favor.". Vernon turned his head to his dad as he looked displeased. "This is not turning into some type of baby sitting I hope. Do I have to ask approval to get a drink later? Or even better, A little note that says I'm allowed to be up late?" He said as arrogant as possible, making Carlos ignore it for a second. "Please take this from me. Do not talk nor mingle with all drivers. Some are more deranged than the other.. Some might even try to get you off the tracks mentally and even physically. its a harsh game out there with many competitors.. And I have a name that can track attention, including you. I've heard you are after.. Well.." "What?" Vernon asked immediately as he narrowed his eyes. "Things hover around.. and you are a goodlooking man, and you know that, many tell you..-" "I truly hope you're not going to say what I think you're doing" Vernon said as he rolled his eyes, glaring a bit. "Its come to my attention that you're fond of the same gender, and thats more than fine to me-" "Oh great to hear it gets approved this once-" "Leave the sass at home will you. I'm just- Spare me the details... But try to behave at this event please.." "You're assuming I'd just fuck with everyone like that... How low do you think I am." Vernon said as he shook his head.. turning back to his phone with the most displeased look on his face. "unbelievable" He whispered. "I do have taste you know.. There are only very few who get to even come near me. Let alone be worthy.-" "Language.. Vernon. My god. No, I'm not saying that.. But dont get dragged somewhere or.. Mix yourself with the wrong people by all means. There are.. Some racers that just.." a silence hit from carlos before he sighed, knowing some in particular that were.. mayhem in the wrong way to some. "Just take my word. I have no control of what you do, but please dont-" "I got the hint. So much for trusting your own son huh." Vernon said pissed, keeping his eyes to his phone, checking all racer's instagram while Carlos with slight worry looked at his son who had his focus elsewhere...

The silence in the car was harsh.. making Carlos regret the fact I decided to have that conversation. "Look.. Vernon-" "I'm not a ten year old.. Please dont refer to me that way. We're done with this conversation" He said dominant, ignoring his father.. before arriving shortly at the tracks where the gathering was held.

It didnt take long for Vernon to judge everyone around him. He ended up leaning against his own car as his dad was welcomed among everyone, having left his side quite soon. "So much for going together huh.." He said rather silent while being displeased.. Crossing his arms as he watched everyone pass. He definitely didnt do it for his dad, but being there to 'support' his own name, was fine he guessed. "Excuse me sir.. You're supposed to park your car a little far back, like the rest" one of the guys who controlled the area said so, seeming like a security dude.. making Vernon raise an eyebrow with a rather deadly look. Meanwhile as this was happening, a specific racer who was chatting with a few, noticed Vernon.. Side eyeing to see what the younger man was doing. "Do I seem like I'm here to help you fix that. We were pointed out to park our car here" "I- well.. I'm afraid thats said wrong.. sir. So if you please.. for safety reasons". The glare Vernon left to the individual made him second guess his fate.. But eventually, out of anger, Vernon was too tired to deal with this. Stepping to the man, he pushed the notebook that the security man had shown where he should park, against his chest firmly to make him step back.. Just noticing he swallowed as he quickly made his way out of there to make space for the lambo to be parked elsewhere. "I'll show them..". Vernon was already on the verge of being a menace, but being told to move was the final straw for today. Though, out of somewhat rebellious behavior, the man started his own car, but specifically made the most loudest noises to start up his engine to give people a heartattack. Making them move to where he 'apparently' needed to move the car. Many turned around to see the luxurious black lamborghini take attention, making Vernon smirk ever so slightly as he always felt king of the mountain with his own car. He adored attention.. but so far, all the attention was pulled away from him, making him quite furious about it. He deserved to be there for HIM. And his driving. Not just because his family name was known.

The racer, paying attention to the somewhat rookie he hadnt met yet.. smirked to notice that perfect way to show he wasnt agreeing to that security guy that made him move.. Making the man finish the conversation he was having, and smoothly making his way over there.

"Thats yours right.. Good taste you have there.. Italian cars tend to be a very specific taste, not many know how to truly handle those if it comes to it" Rafael said as he approached the younger but taller man.. Making Vernon turn to the rather attractive, raspy voice. "I feel like we havent crossed paths yet.. have we?" The man asked as Vernon tilted his head a bit. "I dont think we have.. Do we have to?". Vernon said rather spoiled and arrogant, as rafael noticed the anger, feeling this was a deep playing issue. "We dont" Rafael said as he noticed Vernon looking behind himself due to some noise, hearing commotion from his dad and all.. "but.. not so fair huh, being used like that?" Rafael decided to dig immediately, sensing he might understand this man far too well.. "Me and your dad go way back. He seemed to be a big deal back in the day.. No offense, but.. He lost his touch, it never was so scary as most said" Rafael said as Vernon turned back to the man speaking to him.. Narrowing his eyes. "Did you now.. He didnt seem to mention you to me" Vernon said as he looked up and down at Rafael, noticing some details on his clothing that referred to a car brand.. A bright red known one. "lets say we didnt really end up on good terms, his loss. Your dad.. he seems all mean, but really he isnt. He has been a coward when it came to me" Rafael had no shame in saying what he thought, making Vernon almost enjoy the fact this man roasted his dad.. almost feeling like it was the right thing to do. The first usual response of vernon was a rather distant approach.. Where his spoiled and rather arrogant behavior would come through, but the more he seemed to talk to this driver, the more he got eager to know more. It seemed rafael knew exactly how to tackle things like this. Their energies slowly started to mix as he broke off the protective demeanor of Vernon that wasnt nessesairy this time, or at all..

Though rafael could appreciate the fact Vernon was insanely picky about who he spoke to or who approached him. That was a nice sign in his eyes. "Ferrari.. Now I remember. you're the driver who made cruze almost fall out.. That was some neat work" Suddenly vernon's interest spiked all the more, not just because of rafael's energy and even giving a compliment.. Which was a rarity. "glad to hear that got noticed.. You like seeing that new driver struggle right? I feel there's some unfinished business on that part." Rafael said as Vernon's anger was shown in his eyes.. In which rafael could sense it. "so who are you? A new mccoy? I havent seen you around yet. you seem like a man who has potential to fit on these tracks.. If not meant to be around here. so why arent you" Rafael just asked, making Vernon breathe in as he raised his head, looking around to see the other racers.. "since someone took my place.. who surprisingly is running around, and a dad.. Who, even being retired, likes to use me as their way to get home safely.." He said.. Breathing out strong. "While dissaproving of my own ways" Vernon said more silent while he got personal, as he leaned more against his own car, feeling the anger spawn. "So you are a racer.. You're no pet. So you shouldnt be handled like one. Sounds to me like you're more than eligiable for a place here." Rafael said as Carlos noticed the two talking.. Stopping his own conversation to get inbetween them the second he noticed them. It was the one thing he so hoped wouldnt happen. "rafael.. I told you to stay away from my kids and keep your distance" Suddenly, Carlos's appearance showed the way he was dissaproving of the racer vernon was speaking to. "Ah carlos.. We meet again. a small conversation doesnt hurt, nor do you have a restraining order on me now do you" Rafael said smooth, making Vernon listen closely..

"I should've known. You do realize not many speak to you for a reason" Carlos said as Rafael laughed low once. "thats called intimidation dear friend. Something you dont have. I dont bite, hard. Cant a man just ask something about another-" "No. you wont lay a hand on him." Carlos said as he touched Vernon's back, making the man immediately correct that gesture. "Dont. I told you not to touch me." Vernon said threatening, glaring at his dad which made Rafael smirk slowly, noticing how some of his words are slowly setting a statement. "Stay away from this man Vernon. put the car somewhere else, away from this man.-" "Its mine. You're not here to control me. You will not tell me what to do" Vernon said strong, glaring as Rafael decided to just go for it. "i'm sure the man has his own voice Carlos.. Babysitting a grown man is no good look. You should-" "you're 44. He's 29. Make one wrong move and-" "with the right assets it can be an excellent way to develop a racer. you brought him here for a reason. I assume you told him to speak to some right. Do some networking" "not to you." "Well thats up to him.. Isnt that right Vernon? and.. You rememberd such a detail so well about me. You've missed me I'm sure" rafael said with a smirk, before he turned to Vernon. "How about we'll move your car just like he asked, and make this man drive himself back home. You're not here to babysit" Rafael said as open as possible, making Carlos glare. "Vernon.". The name calling from Carlos was like a warning, but Vernon was already more strong in tone than he was. "you should've left me at home". Rafael smirked to see the rebellious energy spike.. feeling like this was a build up that finally came to the surface, perfectly when he was right there to witness it. With ease, Rafael opened the door as if he had always done that and got inside of vernon's car as Vernon got in.. Starting the engine loudly before driving off.. Leaving Carlos.

The tension in the car was strong.. Due to vernon's immense anger towards his dad, but Rafael knew exactly how to tackle that.. He sensed Vernon wasnt minding the fact.. A racer like rafael just got into his car, so he felt like pushing to see how far he could go.. "While we're at it.. 'Moving' this car, would you mind.." Rafael said as he just made himself quite comfortable next to Vernon.. "I was aiming to leave soon to a rather bigger event than this, which is far more fun than this.. Dissapointing gathering, aside from meeting some new faces." Rafael hinted that he was pleased to meet vernon. "Its about a few miles from here. Surely a man like you can miss a few minutes?" Rafael said as vernon looked at him only with his eyes with a stern expression, before actually turning towards the highway without question, with a few turns remaining. "Surprising you trust a man you've just met to drive you somewhere" "I just have a feeling. And I cant help but wanting to see how you drive" Rafael said as he smirked once more, noticing the tension of the anger being there, but being controlled and put somewhere for a greater good. Vernon felt appreciated by a stranger.. As the energy was almost addictive to sense, unlike anything he had ever sensed.

Slowly coming to a few red lights.. Vernon's impatience was growing, ticking his hands with one ring onto his steering wheel as normally his own dad would tell him to follow the rules constantly.. But rafael, oh he knew. "you drive these regularly right.. I can see that, but it almost doesnt seem like you use the full potential?" he said as he noticed the car was put in the normal modus.. but just like Rafael knew his own ferrari had special settings.. Those lambo's did too. "Almost a waste dont you think, these cars are meant to be used" Rafael said as he noticed Vernon having a silent moment to himself before his eyes lingered down to the side of the car where all the buttons were located.. While he'd sometimes look up to see the red light still ongoing right before the road towards the highway. Rafael could feel the man contemplating. The true nature was fairly close to his own. Which made the well known and experienced driver poke the bear. Wanting to keep on seeing how far he could take this man out of his resistant setup that was controlled by family. "Since when would a red light stop you.." Rafael just smoothly said, making Vernon look down to the side, not looking at rafael directly but in his direction.. "I'm not your dad. He's not here, nor should he decide whats 'best' for you.. Do what you'd actually want to do. What are you waiting for" Rafael went for it... Seeing a sudden breakage into the man's mind. Vernon pushed the sports mode button in his car before pushing firmly on the gas. Going through the red light and with a good amount of speed ending up on the highway, passing everyone with ease. He drove fast, secure.. way more powerful than he'd normally do.. For rafael watched the man's precision.. Just knowing this could be huge. 'I knew it..' He thought, smirking as he wanted to make sure Vernon would no longer be restricted..

This was getting far too interesting for him to let go off.. In fact, rafael wanted to invest into this now.. Not only to totally make his previous enemy go crazy.. But he felt like he connected to vernon in a special way.. Seeing what this man liked and what not..

'You've been held back far too long.. Its time to make that worse' Rafael thought as he watched Vernon just drive without a single error, knowing exactly how to control his own car, the power a lamborghini has.. The noise was soothing to the both of them. "You did that well.. standing up.." "Thats what he deserved". Vernon was now speaking back to Rafael without any questions.. Matching with someone like that was an one in a million for the younger man. As Rafael told Vernon where to drive, they ended up at a higher placed penthouse up at a mountain, where a party was ongoing. Driving towards the entrance, Vernon perfectly parked while letting the engine run.. "I was wondering when my mutual would arrive in this matter." "What matter.." "Lambo and ferrari's look great together, especially if that individual might not be too much of an enemy of mine. No one dares to drive with the power of a car like this, except for very few" Rafael said as Vernon sat a little more wide in his own seat, snorting. "that just a bad excuse, a weakness." He said, as Rafael laughed low. "thats what i've been saying.. But it might as well mean the right one is the only one able to tackle that in this sport" He said rather forward, making Vernon turn to the man slowly with his head. "You're having a lot of words about something or someone you've just met a few minutes ago." "i've met thousands of people.. I can see who are meant to be on those tracks." Rafael said as he leaned a little closer on his side. "It would be nice to have you on board, see how far you can go.. So very few people have good taste here.. Its almost been working on my nerves". Vernon raised an eyebrow as he listened closely, not looking disgusted when Rafael made himself completely comfortable in the car. "I normally dont really do this, but I like to make this exception." he suddenly said out of context, making Vernon frown.

"you want to make yourself sound special..?". A silent laughter left the more experienced driver.. Noticing Vernon really has that brat like behavior but stayed monotone on some moments.. "Admit it.. you feel good right.. thats the feel you're supposed to feel. Driving over these roads like you're the king, or prince, whatever it is that you prefer.." Rafael said as Vernon just watched the man.. "We should do this more often. Why dont we keep in contact, without daddy dearest interupting..." Rafael said as he smirked, taking his phone as he reached out for vernon's, exchanging their phone numbers. "After all.. I owe you one, for bringing me here, how else would I be able to reach you" Rafael said as he noticed Vernon taking the man's phone and putting his number in.. Having a feeling he was picky about it, but so was himself. "I dont mind sharing info either.. So feel free to text whenever you feel like. For all kinds of purposes. I have nothing to hide" the older man said as Vernon looked at the man's chest and up at his face. "I can see that" Vernon said bluntly as his stern face kept being on there.. Making rafael surely more and more interested. "and not many take it, even if i'm honest.. But I have a feeling you might like to." "what makes you say that.." Vernon asked as Rafael took his phone back, seeing the name in there.. Handing vernon's phone into his hand. "i feel like the younger groups are making it challenging for us again, which can be seen as good.. or bad, depends on how you handle it. I dare everyone to try and challenge me. I know you have it in you.. daddy dearest just, did the exact opposite of what he should do." Rafael said as Vernon listened, raising his head a bit.. While he'd look rafael in the eyes now. "you have a power. I've felt it. control that anger rightfully so.. and put it in one focus.. It might be controlled mayhem.. but it'll make you so much stronger, without loosing your own.. Special touch, that i'd like to see" "Almost sounds like you're giving me advice.. why would you help me, if that means sooner or later you might have a new racer to deal with" Vernon said rather forward, feeling his ego was filled now.. "I like your thinking. Alot.. It reminds me when I was just starting.. but most importantly." Rafael said as he leaned closely, making his words more impactful than anything.

"I like to see.. if the son of the mccoy has its own fuel, His own legacy.. His own style, because I like to believe he does.. far more stronger than what your daddy ever did. Make him seem like a joke compared to you. You need your own voice, you got plenty of it, I can tell.. But you'll have to use it. There are trials ongoing for the next couple of days. You should consider" "If you hadnt paid attention yet. I've tried for a while.. But some snake took my spot" Vernon said as Rafael just leaned more close, pressing one finger on the part between them in the car. "Then make the snake bite himself.. Step on it. By all means, make it regret he did that, since he'll have to deal with a menace soon. Unlike him, you'll have actual support. true support, from the inside out.. and it'll bite him in the ass." Rafael said as vernon looked at the man's hand, before back up to him. "not many seem to like you.. I remember now." "thats because they know it can get dangerous, nothing frightens me.. But I might not be alone on that regard". Rafael was giving the exact right words to the younger man.. making him hungry for so much more. "I'll come and watch, if you get that far.." Rafael said as he smirked before getting out of Vernon's car.. making the man process so much in so few time.. Ending up stepping out as well.. "Answer me this.. Why would you give me advice at all. I asked before. But why. Truly." Vernon said with narrowed eyes as his voice had lowered. as Rafael looked up at the slightly taller man.. Watching his apparance. "Maybe that way i'll finally have a worthy opponent.. making my job a whole lot more fun." he said as Vernon watched the man with a slightly tilted head.. He could see it.. He just broke a chain that couldnt be undone, but it was time it did. "like said, its difficult to find someone.. that knows what good taste is.." Rafael said as he looked up and down at the man, nodding at him once as a thank you before he slowly left inside, making Vernon watch him for a while before he got back into his car.. Feeling his blood boil in some way, in the right way... Being more focused than ever on making it out of those trials.. Into that real game. the man made vernon's mind just switch, the final push it needed to be serious.. that could not be undone.

Rafael watched the lamborghini start loud and drive off with greater speed than ever before.. "I guess you're good for one thing Carlos." He said, smirking filthy..

#emmacreatures #niku30 #rafaelferrari #vernonmccoy #Vernonxrafael #vulgartextwarning #racerocs #help im so excited #I swear both these men are too hot

0 notes

zawazawanightmares · 2 years

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Daiyousei & Dragoness

You, Daiyousei, are connected to Dragoness Your partner doesn't mind all ages or 18+ roleplay

Daiyousei: Hello!

Dragoness: hello

Daiyousei: How's it going? Enjoying the forest?

Dragoness: indeed i am! and i am quite fine

Dragoness: are you a god?

Daiyousei: No! Far from it. I'm a fairy, specifically a nature spirit.

Dragoness: a fairy ive yet to see a lot of fairys.

Daiyousei: They must be hiding from you. I guess we don't get too many dragons around here...

Dragoness: im not as scary as i look but i find its better to be feared then loved even more so when im acustom to pesky humans trying to slay me.

Dragoness: its why i moved deeper into this forest

Daiyousei: So that the myth of your deeds will make you even more feared?

Dragoness: indeed.

Dragoness: myths hold power after all if enough people believe something it may as well be reailty.

Daiyousei: I guess that's true...wait, what do I mean "I guess"? That's how goddesses derive their power. That's why there are so many shrines!

Dragoness: excatly! i know its ambitions but i wish to be a dragon godess so i can stop foolish people from hunting magical beings such as us.

Daiyousei: You want to...become a goddess?

Dragoness: you can laugh if you wish i know its a bit of a foolish dream but ... i dont want to be hunted anymore nor any of my kin who have done nothing but exist.

Daiyousei: Hmm...it is a rather difficult path...but I wish you luck!

Dragoness: so you know of a way? ill gladly share my power with you if you aid me.

Daiyousei: That's fine but I'm just saying, becoming a god is more than just receiving worship. You have to become the spirit of what you represent. Not only must you embody the soul of dragonhood but you have be THE dragon, understand?

Dragoness: kinda? like the absolute queen of all dragons kinda thing?

Dragoness: whatever the case i am determined to become a god

Daiyousei: I guess you'll find out yourself what it means when you get there. Until then, I suggest you figure out everything about yourself and your race.

Dragoness: i shall and i shall return the favor when i return as a goddess anything in my new found power to grant. unless you rather acompany me?

Daiyousei: Accompany you? I can't leave the forest...

Dragoness: why is that?

Dragoness: you deserve to see the world...

Daiyousei: I'm a nature spirit. This is my home...and what will Rumia say if I'm missing?

Dragoness: whos rumia?

Dragoness: your boss?

Daiyousei: My best friend. She's the Demon of Darkness.

Dragoness: a demoness? sounds interesting!

Daiyousei: She is! She's nice and very fun to talk to!

Dragoness: well lets talk to her maybe we can all travel together?

Daiyousei: Maybe...she should be deeper into the forest.

Dragoness: *nods and travels deeper* either way nothing ventured nothing gained.

Dragoness: besides i cant let a cute fairy be all alone

Daiyousei: *Blushes* I'm not weak enough that I need to be accompanied...but thank you.

Dragoness: no but i enjoy the company anyway~

Daiyousei: Eeee...*comes upon a hut* Rumia lives here.

Dragoness: its cute

Daiyousei: *knocks on the door; a short blonde spirit answers* Rumia?

Daiyousei: (Rumia): Daiyousei? A lizard? What are you two doing here?

Dragoness: *explains the jist*

Daiyousei: (Rumia): You want to be a god? Oh, that's easy!

Dragoness: it is!?

Daiyousei: (Rumia): Yes! Just reach enlightenment!

Dragoness: *deadpan* wow such helpful advice any ideas how to do that?

Daiyousei: (Rumia): Figure out what you're all about! Then, figure out everything else!

Dragoness: well im a dragoness i want my kin and other magic beings to not be hunted for sport or magical material. i stand frim on that idea.

Dragoness: so thats what im all about.

Daiyousei: (Rumia): Oh...see how easy that was? Now figure out everything else!

Dragoness: so like? some vauge wisdom like life is change incarate i am the change in the world? or whatever?

Daiyousei: (Rumia): I dunno. Is that everything?

Dragoness: how would i know what everything is!?

Daiyousei: (Rumia): Most gods do!

Dragoness: im not a god yet. ... but i will be!!

Dragoness: and ill be the biggest most sexy dragon god ever!!

Daiyousei: (Rumia): Good! You're half-way there!

Dragoness: no ill be bigger! i am everything! i am power incarnate! *moans and glows with power*

Daiyousei: (Rumia): You're glowing!

Dragoness: y yes i feel myself evolving into a goddess!! all will know my power~!! i shall bless those who worship me and smite all who needlessly distort magic to there own ends! *grows bigger sexier more powerful another set of wings golden scales red eyes all that sexy godly shenanigans*

Daiyousei: (Rumia): Oh, she is becoming a goddess!

Daiyousei: I think...?

Your partner has changed their name to DragonGoddess

DragonGoddess: indeed i have~ *moans power flowing form her now heavenly nude body~ you two helped me become a god as such ill bless you with whatever desire is in my power to grant or you save your boon for later.

Daiyousei: I guess I'll have---

Daiyousei: (Rumia): I want Daiyousei to bare my children!

Daiyousei: 0_0

DragonGoddess: i was not exactly expecting that. but i shall try but you may need to do it the old fashion way. *smirks and uses her new found power to fill them both with seemingly endless lust but not before trying to magic babies into daiyousei not sure if that part would work or not*

Daiyousei: *both become overwhelmed with magically-induced lust...and Rumia grows a cock* W-what is that...?

Daiyousei: (Rumia): Daiyousei! *pounces on Daiyousei and begins to strip her*

DragonGoddess: *watches in amusment and slight horninessl* oh my you been pent up for ages

Daiyousei: W-wait, why would you even want--- *is cut off by Rumia kisses her while rubbing her cock against her slit*

DragonGoddess: *watches and masterbates a little finding it all rather errotic* oh my~

Daiyousei: (Rumia): *blushes as she pushes her cock inside Daiyousei beginning to thrust as the fairy beneath her moans*

DragonGoddess: keep going girl~ let all your pent up demon lust and power flow~ *amps up her cock a little*

Daiyousei: (Rumia): *keeps thrusting, their moans mixing together as she pushes deeper and deeper inside of Daiyousei* You feel so good, Daiyousei!

DragonGoddess: *moans seeming to grow a bit* interesting seems i can feed on untaped desires~

Daiyousei: (Rumia): Something's coming out, Daiyousei...I'm going to make you bear my children!

Daiyousei: Stop saying it and just do it! *wraps her legs around her*

DragonGoddess: fuck all day ladies~ its quite *moans and cums a bit* exciting~

Daiyousei: (Rumia): *groans as she cums inside her, Daiyousei holding onto her* Daiyousei...

Daiyousei: Rumia... *both look at each other before sharing a deep kiss*

DragonGoddess: how do you both feel~?

DragonGoddess: i bet the spawn of a demon and a fairy will be quite interesting~!

Daiyousei: I feel...cool. Like the dusk of a clear night...

Daiyousei: (Rumia): I'm tired...but happy!

DragonGoddess: excellent i must spread this love and lust to the world at large~ perhaps you two can become my high priests~?

Daiyousei: But I'm a nature spirit...

Daiyousei: (Rumia): And I'm a demon of darkness...

DragonGoddess: well what if i bond you to me and not the forest~? being bond to a goddess outranks whatever powers keep you here and you always had love for eachother i just made you act on it.

DragonGoddess: youll be together forever~

Daiyousei: Hmm...that sounds...

Daiyousei: (Rumia): Fantastic! Do it!

DragonGoddess: *she flexes her godly might and bonds them both to each other and to her service tossing in some minor immortality for good measure*

Daiyousei: (Rumia): Wow...I feel mightier. Like space itself instead of just darkness!!

Daiyousei: And I feel like I am life itself and not just an aspect of it!

DragonGoddess: indeed! you are more mighty and i too must become more mighty! more i grow in power the more my those bond to me will as well.

DragonGoddess: at least im pretty sure thats how it works~

Daiyousei: I guess.

Daiyousei: (Rumia): Now you just need worshippers!

DragonGoddess: name the closest town and ill covert people~

Daiyousei: Hmm...let's start with...Gensokyo.

You left the chat

#daiyousei #touhou #srp

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babysizedfics · 3 years

Note

2! - 👑

baby vee on the loose in just a diaper

vote from this concept voting post!

warning: this includes tickling and light teasing and is INCREDIBLY adorable

one day vee is in her slightly older headspace that being 18 months - which coincidentally is the age babies start running

now roman (whos not little) and patton are just chilling in romans room talking and waiting for logan to finish changing vee into a diaper so they can all play with the baby

when suddenly they hear a muffled "Vee, sit back- Baby! Baby, no, no no come back! BABY-"

that is followed by quick little footsteps appraching the door and light giggles - then vee pushes the door open, jiji clutched to her chest, dressed in a pink crop top that reads "cute" in rainbow letters and a pink and white diaper and literally nothing else

roman and patton instantly burst out laughing because she toddles into the room so quickly but shes so wobbly! wearing a diaper makes it hard to walk for her because of the thick padding so she really is toddling like a baby

and she immediately darts to the bed where roman is sitting propped against the headboard and he hurriedly opens his arms just in time for her to literally collapse on his chest and wriggle around to straddle his lap, all while squeaking in laughter

"heya, titch," roman giggles, holding her steady. "did you escape, huh?" and he feels so delighted and amused that her diaper is on full display and is crinkling loudly when vee giggles and wriggles.

"Vee?? Baby, where are you?!" logan sounds panicked in the hallway

"in here loganberry!" patton chuckles, his phone pulled out and clearly capturing a ton of photos of this moment

but vee whines and quickly hides her face in romans shoulder and covers her head with jiji

Roman giggles "whatcha doin, baby?"

and she responds from her hiding place "umbibible"

"youre what?" patton frowns, still smiling though

roman chuckles understanding what she means "are you invisible?"

vee nods and squeals in delight. "shh shh bimbible!"

"ohh okay, shh shh" roman whispers and nods very seriously and cradles the back of her shoulders and diaper to hold her safe and help her hide. "invisible"

logan suddenly bursts in looking stressed as heck and sighs in relief when he sees vee in romans lap

"hey specs, whats got you so frazzled?" roman asks and bites his lip to contain his laughter

after a brief moment taking a deep breath and running his hand back through his hair, logan has recomposed himself. "hello roman. Could you do me a favor and hand over the baby in your lap?"

then roman frowns. "what baby?"

vee giggles and buries her head more in romans neck. he doesnt mind the slight ache at all

logan smiles humourlessly. "very funny, but I need to get her dress on"

"i dont think it would fit you, honey" patton jokes from behind his phone.

roman snorts

logan stares at patton, expressionless

and then roman notices that the way patton holds the camera is so obvious he is taking a VIDEO of this exchange. roman hugs vee tighter with pride

"okay, i really do need to get the baby dressed though" logan insists to roman with a little smile

roman makes a show of looking around the room, avoiding looking down at the adorable mound of pink and white in his lap. "sorry, i dont see any baby"

vee squirms and her diaper crinkles loudly. then they all hear the tiniest babyish whisper. "bimbible"

they're all trying so hard not to laugh now, logan is like biting his cheek to stop smiling and sternly says "roman, I need to get your baby sibling dressed"

"logan i literally have no idea where she is!"

vee giggles and kicks her feet lightly in excitemnt

a choked laugh escapes patton before he scrunches his face to stop it, and logan closes his eyes, his face twitching with the effort not to laugh. romans the best at holding in laughter but he's close to breaking he can tell

"okahay" logan says with a concealed chuckle. "okay, then. roman can you please help me find the baby?"

roman gasps dramatically. "logan, you lost the baby?! What kind of a mother are you!!"

and vee suddenly squeals loud and highpitched into romans shoulder and wiggles so much that shes basically vibrating with excitement

everyone silently wheezes at the reaction: logan slams his hand over his mouth and has to hold the wall for support, romans head drops back in a silent scream of laughter and cradles vees head, and pattons eyes squint shut and the camera wobbles as he shakes with silent chuckles

at that point patton knows they need to wrap this up or they'll either burst into loud laughter and risk startling vee, or they'll all run out of breath from trying to hold it back

"if there was a baby in here," he laughs as gently as he can, "then surely she would be invisible, right roman?"

roman agrees "yes obviously, patton" and he sways gently cradling vee because she was constantly squeaking and squirming and they dont want her getting too overexcited

again, vee giggles "bimbible, bimbible!" still hiding in romans shoulder

of course that gives logan an idea

he approaches the bed "well im afraid theres only one way to find invisible babies" he starts very solemnly and perches on the edge of the mattress next to roman and totally not a totally visible baby

then he smiles. "is sheeeee... over here?" he asks, fluttering just one finger over her neck and vee squeaks and pulls jiji down to cover her neck

roman smiles and strokes her now visible purple hair

"hmm" logan hums in thought as patton gets up from the beanbag to get a better angle to film this whole debacle. logan smiles at the camera mischievously for a moment, apparently forgetting his camera shyness in the excitement

"is she perhaps here?" and he scribbles all fingers of one hand over the exposed back of her knee

vee giggles melodically and quickly folds her legs up into romans lap - but her toes are scrunching happily. shes no longer hidden in romans shoulder but is still curled up against his chest and is hiding her face with jiji

"I think I know where the baby is~" logan sings teasingly, and everyone beams and giggles at the way vee wiggles so much that roman has to curl his arms all the way around her and her diaper to stop her from wriggling right off his lap

"she must be...." logan draws it out, wiggling all ten fingers towards her back. "over here!"

logans fingertips land just above the hem of vee's diaper, settling on her sides and the back of her ribs and scribbling and spiralling gently - the diaper hem rustles loudly under his fingers but thats nothing compared to the reaction from vee

she positively screeches with squeaky laughter, dropping jiji instantly to reveal her flushed cheeks and her scrunched up happy eyes and her big big gummy smile! she wriggles around so much and flaps jiji in the air excitedly

and everyone coos "THERE SHE IS~ 💞" in unison

...

when they finish with the tickling and the giggling, logan finally gets vee back in her room to get dressed... but she whines and pouts whenever he tried to put any kind of skirt or pants on her

try as he might logan literally cannot convince vee to wear anymore clothes than she's already wearing - so for a compromise he simply puts on her ruffly white diaper cover !

patton absolutey bursts with love and adorableness when he sees her all smiley and blushy and wriggly in her cute poofy diaper cover and roman giggles and thinks about how much fun it'll be to remind vee about this tomorrow >:3c

for the entire day everyone is just so giggly because vee is in the most playful happy baby mood, she loves not wearing any pants or skirts and keeps wiggling on her butt to hear the diaper crinkles and kicking her bare legs in excitement and squeals

...

the next morning roman absolutely follows through on his promise to himself and tells vee all about it

vee is so so embarrassed, blushing like mad and hiding her face behind logans shoulder as everyone smiles and tries not to giggle too hard at her reaction

"oh my god, why didnt anyone dress me??"

"you put up quite a fight" logan says so casually it almost sounds like he isnt grinning ear to ear. "youre very persuasive when you pout, princess"

vee pulls away from him with a very appropriate pout

"aww come on dont be embarrassed," patton coos "you were the most adorable little baby in the world yesterday with your poofy little diaper butt"

"dad!" vee squeaks in indignation

everyone giggles at her reaction (and roman sees her lips twitch up in a hidden smile)

roman leans to whisper in her ear "i think you like it~"

"stoooop" vee whines and buries her burning cheeks against romans shoudler instead

big mistake

"wow déja vu" roman chuckles "i guess youre not straddling my lap this time though - all wriggly and giggly and crinkly"

vee pulls back form him with a bewildered look "i was in your lap? and i was only wearing--"

"well sure!" patton chuckles as though its ridiculous vee is even questioning it. "i dunno why youre so suprised, you always sit in your brothers lap. OH I can show you the video to prove it!" and he pulls out his cellphone and starts searching for the video

"i dunno pat, are you sure it will help to watch the video?" roman asks

and for a MILLISECOND vee thinks roman is actually for once showing her mercy

then he smiles at her. "i mean she was 'bimbible', I dunno if you wouldve caught her on camera"

"thats very true," logan nods, sipping his coffee with a smirk "though it might be worth reviewing the footage purely for research purposes"

patton laughs "oh of course, we really have to check if you can see 'bimbible' babies on camera... oop, i think we can!"

patton beams and holds up his phone to show a picture of vee curled up against romans chest, half-naked and with romans hands curled round her shoulders and the top of the diaper, his head thrown back and clearly in the midst of delighted laughter

vee squeaks and pulls minty from their seat at the breakfast table to bury her face in them. "youre my only ally minty" she whispers into their fluff as the family all coo over the adorable photos

#guys i think ive done it i think this is the cutest concept #little/big concepts #fam ily tickles #agere virgil #little virgil #cg logan #cg patton #sanders sides agere #ts agere #asks #👑 anon #long post

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cutesilyo · 3 years

Note

thoughts on usph?

nah. usph is just. not it for me dude

its not even for historical reasons, yknow? like i know the philippine-american war was bloody and horrifying but there’s a reason why its also called the forgotten war. and yes part of it is probably because our schoolbooks are biased and focus way too much on the good parts of american colonization while demonizing spain (gee i wonder if thats related to how americans were the ones who set up the philippine public school system + america’s general thoughts on spain at the time was that it was too old and traditionalist to properly take care of the philippines anymore) but also. america did end up honestly supporting philippine independence, even if it was largely conditional. the philippine organic act of 1902 (most filipinos will know this one as the cooper act) - a law that basically meant that filipinos would be entitled to their own rights despite american occupation and actually have some small say on lawmaking and legislation; basically the first major step for transitioning ph from a colony into an independent state - was signed just a year after emilio aguinaldo surrendered and more or less put an end to the philippine-american war. then there’s the whole “america came back to the ph to fight against japan with us in ww2! and then they gave us independence yay!” hero worship pedestal. so i think if there’s any historical basis against shipping usph then for me, personally, it’d be based more on what happened after philippine independence and not before. because america still continues to drag phili into fighting american wars and making phili really economically and politically dependent on it in international affairs while not even really thinking about phili at all. so if you look at more recent history and contemporary issues between the two, you can interpret usph as pretty toxic.

but the main reason i dont ship usph is because i really dont want to ship phili with a privileged white man lmao, especially since america is a) his ex-colonizer and b) arguably the most powerful supernation in the world right now. the power imbalance just makes it feel really off for me. and i think there are better ships for both of them: i like usuk, romerica, and rusame, and i adore indophil and mexphil, for example. the only way i can think about usph romantically is if ph had an unrequited crush on america that faded away over time as he realized that he was just being taken advantage of.

i do want to say that i dont think phili is the kind of person that will openly hate america either! i mean yeah i guess filipinos in general still trust and admire america to a ridiculous degree but i just dont think that phili is the kind of person that is serious about holding grudges? like he’ll curse at america in good humor or he’ll stick his tongue out like a brat at spain or he’ll endlessly guilt trip japan when he’s asking a favor but in the end it’s all mostly water under the bridge. everything’s fine! or, well, at least phili would much rather pretend that everything’s fine if only to avoid serious confrontations with nations he knows he can’t win against. but that’s a post for another time

#asks #hws #hws philippines #hws america #yeah so uh. i refuse to seriously ship phili with any white person ever #thats the tea for today

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Note

About the Jace hate, I do get your point and it’s valid, Jace is an ass and arrogant and Clary makes some really stupid decisions.

In the first books they were pretty stupid but I do feel there’s quite a lot of character development for the both of them. I’m talking about The Dark Artifices series and not The Mortal Instruments of course. They grow up and they become adults with an institute to run so they have a responsibility now.

Jace is less arrogant and he kinda settles down with Clary because to him there’s nobody else anymore besides Clary.

The Alec hate I do not get at all. I mean, I know he gets the stereotypical jealous part but again, in the later books he’s just a badass. The whole red scrolls of magic and lost book of the white is just Malec being BAMFS. And Alec becomes Consul which makes him so powerful and he uses the title to change the Clave for the Downworld and for all the Shadowhunters like him.

Book and show Malec are just * chefs kiss *

i mean, look, ur entitled to ur opinion and all, but i rlly dont think this is something ur gonna change my mind on, so id rather not get into that discussion tbh 🤷 like u wont change my mind (and thats fine, like ive said before, my opinion doesnt actually matter unless u choose to care about it and that's why i throw it around) and i probably wont change urs, so

with that being said im gonna reply to ur points anyway because i cant fucking help myself and well, it is my blog after all. i tried to not be aggressive but i do have pretty strong opinions on this topic so there's that

u dont have to read it cuz like i said i dont think we'll change each other's minds and i think we're just gonna end up upsetting each other tbh, so im putting it under the cut

idk about becoming less arrogant but to me what drives me crazy about both jace and clary is that they are selfish and self centered and i just cant stand that. and the fact that there's no one else for him but clary is pretty much an extension of that. to me their relationship is just them joining forces to become an unit and be self centered together lmao

and the fact that they're running an institute doesn't inherently change that at all. tbh even if it did, giving them an institute to run when they are only learning to be responsible for other ppl is exactly the kind of shit i hate and can't stand about the both of them and cc's writing. if they aren't responsible enough, they should never have gotten it, and the fact that they did and accepted is just more proof that they only care about themselves and are entitled and have everything handed to them on a silver platter

as for alec, he became consul because jace nominated him, so i dont see that as a point in his favor. and even in the later books he is constantly incompetent at basic things and that is used as the butt of a joke, like him being literally unable to speak in other languages because he gets too nervous and doesn't know which language is which or that whole bullshit "hero of the war coming through!" "oh it's not jace herondale, it's just some guy" or alec's own kid liking jace more than alec himself lmao. and there's more i don't remember but like... i dont think book!alec is a badass in any way shape or form, he is incompetent and keeps being carried on everyone else's shoulders and also has positions i dont think he deserves or ever did

also him using his position to help downworlders and everyone loving him for it is a white savior narrative so it's gross for entirely different reasons, and the fact that that's pretty much all he has going for him is proof that cc can only make a gay character relevant if its a result of his whiteness (or in that case shadowhunterness which is really just magical whiteness), which circles back to other anon's point about her rep being terrible

most importantly tho, even if book!alec were a badass i still would never like him or book!malec solely because of the way he treats magnus

im not even just talking about the whole "trying to take magnus' immortality away" bullshit (which in and of itself is a complete dealbreaker for book!malec for me. they could have the best relationship in the world other than that and i still would never ever ever be able to ship a couple in which one of the parts is so openly selfish and disregards the other part's consent and literal LIFE like this. idc how young alec was, he was old enough to know exactly what he was doing, and if he's too immature to respect his partner he shouldn't be in a relationship, full stop) but also... everything else. if i wanted to see a white gay man being biphobic and racist to his brown bi partner i would simply go check out the closest abusive relationship in my area. the constant jealousy slutshaming and overall immaturity is just gross and annoying and the fact that magnus puts up with that shit at all makes me sad for him, even if he's also a creep so i don't really care about him either

and like this is not a book vs show thing, it's not a competition and in most fandoms of adapted works ppl like both and merge both together. i would be perfectly capable of liking both, and tbh the only reason i even tried picking up the books at all was because i liked the show and wanted more content. i don't hate the books because i like the show, i hate the books because.... of the books igrsssfhh

#salt #anti cc #anti tsc #anti tmi #anti book alec #anti book magnus #anti book malec #anti jace herondale #anti clary fray #anti clace #ask #anonymous #discourse #negativity

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bitchfitch · 3 years

Text

A Nice Chat In The Park

[complete]

Cherry trudged with her hood up and her hands shoved into the pockets of her pants. She felt like a traitor just for considering this, but her options were so limited that she really didn't have a choice.

Haze, the demon that had been terrorizing her city for years now, was sat in his human disguise on a blanket in the local park. Exactly where he was every Wednesday around noon during the off season for the local soccer team. He liked to watch them struggle, and to feel their frustration when he sent them sliding on patches of mud that weren't there a moment before while he waited for his husband's lunch break to roll around.

She sat beside him without saying a word as he snickered after sending two players crashing into each other. Really, now would be a great time to test out the enchanted switch blade he'd given her last Christmas.

"Cherry darling, So nice of you to pay me a visit. Will the rest of The Bed-Fort Club be joining us soon?" he asked with a light voice. Cherry wished she hated Haze as much as the rest of her team, she really should, but he was the only one who called her by the right name. She never even told him it. He just started using it and her knew pronouns the day after she had had her realization without needing to be told them.

No one else knew yet, so she didn't blame them for not using the right name, but something about Haze just going with it without any questions or awful comments made him a bit more ok in her book.

"No," she huffed, "I needed to ask a for a favor,"

"As your nemesis I think I'm obligated to say no, but I'll still hear you out," he adjusted the sunglasses that hid his coal black eyes from the world before continuing in a slightly less cocky tone, "I have something to ask of you too, so maybe we could make a trade?"

"Maybe," she swallowed hard and took a deep breath, "I want you to take me prom dress shopping. I have the money I'm just… I just don't want to go alone,"

"You wouldn't want one of your friends to take you?" he sounded genuine, but Cherry still grit her teeth.

"No, because like, most of my friends are cool, but... remember when you wore that dress to my uncle's party?"

"Yeah? The blue one right? If you want to borrow it you can you know. No deal needed because I can't exactly wear it again after all the fuss Mr.Denver made over it," he rubbed his face, "Did you know that he tried to get Mr. Hopsworth to fire Aleistar over that? Said I was- you know what? I don't actually feel comfortable repeating what he said to a child," he tried to laugh it off but Cherry could see the tinge of hurt in the way the tips of his barely pointed ears drooped.

"Yeah, I don't think I could pull that one off. But, uhm, Uncle Jerry wasn't the only one making comments about the whole man in a dress thing. Most of the- please don't take this out on them we were just being stupid and I'm sorry- but, The Bed-fort Club was being just as awful about it." she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them to try and feel a little more comfortable after that confession.

Haze sighed, "Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry that happened. That must have been so rough for you to have to sit through," his voice was soft as he put a hand on her shoulder to try and comfort her. Cherry hated how nice Haze was sometimes. How in these brief little moments he was more friend than enemy even though he stayed the same demon between them.

"You're not mad?" She didn't like how weak her own voice sounded.

"Not at you or your friends. I've gotten used to that sort of... joking," he shrugfed as pulled his hand away from her, "At least you lot weren't saying it to my or Aleistar's faces. I think that was the biggest fight we've had yet, when he got home after that meeting…" Haze trails off, "But that's the past now. I'll take you dress shopping, no problem,"

Cherry felt a pang of guilt that nearly overshadowed her worry. She remembered how mad her uncle had been, and she remembered being the one to suggest he tried talking to Hopsworth about it. Not to get Aleistar fired, but to make him consider that maybe keeping a demon around wasn't great for him. But now hearing that it might have almost actually worked, she felt her gut twist up with regret.

"And what are you going to ask in return?" she tried to swallow down her guilt, he didn't need to know that that had been her fault.

"Would you consider talking to your friends about leaving Aleistar out of this?" He asked frankly "He's getting older, and his heart isn't great anymore. So I don't want you all stressing him out so much,"

"You care about his heart health?" Cherry had to stop herself from snorting, "Isn't him dying sooner better for you because you'd get his soul faster?"

"Fuck you." Haze didn't stop himself from cussing at her, "Seriously, Fuck you. I'm offering to help you get a stupid dress. Ive been nothing but a good nemesis for you. and I've Never hurt you or anyone you love in the entire time you and your lackies have been chasing me down." The sudden 180 snap in his attitude from where they had been a moment before nearly sent Cherry running.

"You're a demon-" she tried to start justifying her words but he steam rolled on.

"Cherry, you dont fucking get it do you?" he was practically snarling as he stood to loom over her, "You think you have always just been one step behind me right? One step too weak to destroy me for good?"

"What are you-"

"You've never come close. Every time you think you have is because I let you. I could level this city in seconds, I could destroy everything you have ever loved with a snap of my fingers. That's my nature you know? To cause mayhem and suffering," he gestured aroumd them, not really paying attention as the grass he stood on began to wilt.

"And thats why we wont Let you-"

"Shut Up. You and The Bed-Fort Club have Never been what's stopping me from doing that. You've been a fun distraction to play with when I'm bored. Can you fucking Guess who I'm actually stopping myself for?"

"Him, because if you didn't he'd banish you and you wouldn't get his soul," she snapped back, "I know how this works,"

"No, you fucking Don't," he wipes at his eyes, and only then did she realize he'd started to cry behind his sunglasses "Your parents, everyone at that stupid company, everyone who sees Aleistar and I out on a date, they think I just want his money. That I'm just a gold digger. And the thing is? I don’t care, because he knows that I don't need his money,

"But every time you or Sammy, or who ever else who's in the know looks at us, they think I just want his soul. And I'm so fucking scared that one of these days he's going to listen to one of you. That he's going to Believe you over me. And that just like that, the happiest thing that has Ever happened to me will just be Poof! Gone! Sayonara happy house husband life, time to back to Actual Hell," he grit his teeth which had turned to fangs at some point during his rant as his skin tinted a bruise purple and his navy hair fluffed up to look more like his namesake. He crossed his arms and hugged himself tightly as he tried to calm down.

"And you know what Cherry? Had it Ever occurred to you that Maybe, just Maybe, I'm with him because I love him? That I ignore my nature because I just want him to be happy?" He never yelled through his entire rant, but the drop in volume, and the change from rage to desperate hurt in his tone was enough to make her wish he had just been yelling.

Cherry looks up at him in shocked silence for a moment. The only other time she'd seen Haze have any sort of out burst like this was when Aleistar was in the hospital last year and he and Sammy had gotten into a huge fight in the waiting room.

"That's the truth?" she asked, not really knowing why but also not really knowing what else to say.

"Yeah, and nothing but the truth," He sighed wiping his hands over his face one last time as he forced his disguise back into order, "I shouldn't have snapped at you, I'm sorry. I'll just... I'll still take you dress shopping if you want me to, and I would still like it if you could talk to your crew about leaving Aleistar out of this, but I'd understand if you've changed your mind,"

"No, I uh... I think I'd still like you to take me. And, uhm..." she trailed off for a moment, "I'm sorry too, I guess I just never really thought about you and him actually being a couple,"

"Yeah, you and everyone else," he sighed one last time as he pulled out his phone at typed something before pressing send. A moment later Cherry's phone beeped, "There, you have my number now. I'm... I think I'm going to go interrupt whatever Aleistar is doing. Have a nice day and succumb to the forces of evil or whatever," he walked off without giving her time to reply.

When she checked her messages to set up his contact in her phone she found the one from him,

"Tell Sammy to stop mailing my husband exorcism books, we're running out of both room and oragami ideas for them

-XOXO Uncle Haze."

She groaned a little at his signature.

#just a snippet from later on in the story once the bfc are in high-school #and in case its not obvious #yeah cherry is a trans girl and her pseudo adoptive demon uncle supports her completely

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mikeytmnt · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on Raph's anger issues

2012 applied the "tough with a soft heart" trope for Raph but they couldve done more for Raph and show why he has anger issues. Does such a bad temper come out of a vacuum? Well Im not a psychologist so I dont know but if they provided a reason why hes angry, it would give him more depth. Most of his inner conflict is "i should stop being angry" instead of "why am i so angry?" so i pieced together a reason for why that might be and how his development followed that.

Based on what weve seen in canon, his anger issues might come from resentment that Splinter favors Leo more than him. Donnie and Mikey have other passions outside of ninjutsu but to Leo and Raph, ninjutsu is their world and it seems that Leo beat Raph in that area according to Splinter.

Resentment towards Leo and Splinter

Splinter may love his sons equally but he trusts Leo more. Theyre a very small family and prior to meeting April and the rest of their new friends, Splinter never imagined there would be others to take care of his sons. When he leaves, he expected them to be on their own. So hes preparing ahead for who is going to lead them next and that is Leo. Because Raph focused too much on his skills but didnt develop his character into one like a leader.

But Raph is very young and he might have misinterpreted Splinter's passing of responsibility to Leo as loving Leo more. And he feels frustrated and inadequate and those feelings turn into anger issues.

Isolation made his negative emotions fester

Raph is facing emotions he cant talk to anyone about. Leo and Splinter are the reasons for it and Mikey seems to be more immature than he is to understand complicated feelings like that. Theres a risk that Donnie might scold him if he opens up, personally i dont think he would, but its scary to open up to someone like that and youll come up with worst case scenarios if you think about it. And its very likely he doesnt want to acknowledge these feelings because its painful to admit he holds resentment for family who loves him dearly.

As for Mikey, Raph underestimates him a lot and hes not the type to unload his burdens on his younger brother. Its also implied that he feels protective over Mikey so as a protector, he wouldn't want to bother Mikey with his issues.

Being isolated for most of their lives and only having each other for company isnt the best environment to grow in. I think we all realized that during this quarantine. Its amazing the turtles turned out so well. And Raph developed issues because of it but thats normal considering his situation.

His love for pets

The writers might have put his soft spot for pets just to contradict his tough guy character but if we look at it in the context of his issues, it could be the product of isolation and his wish to connect with others outside of his family. He feels he cant open up to Leo and Splinter because of his resentment, theres a risk Donnie might be "too logical" and point out the flaws in his feelings instead of empathizing, and Mikey is out of the question for him. So he connects to pets instead because they won't judge him and he feels less lonely with them.

How Donnie and Mikey would've helped

Personally i think Donnie wouldve understood him and explained to him what Splinter's intentions are. Like Leo, Donnie has a burden no one else can carry, which is being the brain of the team. And the ones who gave him that burden are his brothers themselves, always counting on him to figure things out. Donnie knows they dont do this because hes their favorite brother but simply because of his capabilities. Just like Splinter gives burden to Leo because of his leadership skills.

Splinter, as their father, only has the right to appoint the role he has, and that is his position as the leader of the family. He cant dictate what the others choose to be anymore and if Leo refused him, he cant force him so its a good thing Leo is willing. But the rest of the brothers fell into place easily. Donnie the brain, Raph the muscle and Mikey the heart. Since Raph values Donnie and Mikey for what they bring to team, then he should also value himself despite not being the leader.

I also think Mikey wouldve helped him. Mikey is wise and has high emotional intelligence. He can concisely put into words what Raph needs to hear. There are some things you know but cant seem to believe in, for example, you know your friends love you but sometimes you dont feel it. But Mikey has no such disconnect, he believes in everything he knows, so assurance coming from him would be very effective. You know if he says something, he means it and hes not just trying to make you feel better.

Embracing the protector role

Since he realizes hes not cut out to be leader, he embraces the role more suitable to his skills which is the protector. He tells Splinter that he can risk his life easily but he cant do it to his brothers. Instead of fighting for Leos position, he finds his place in the team and i think that helps him come to terms with Splinter's favor towards Leo.

Summary

Raph develops resentment from Splinter's favoritism towards Leo and has no outlet for his emotions. he's unable to express that frustration in a healthy manner, turning into anger issues.

His love for pets also implies that he longs for connection and for someone to understand him without judging him.

If he had opened up to Mikey and Donnie who arent involved in the cause of his issues, his temper might not have gotten this bad because Mikey is empathetic and Donnie has a logical understanding of the situation.

He does come at peace with his emotions and he gets calmer as the seasons go by as he had given up on being the leader and favored student and accepted his role as protector.

#tmnt 2012 #tmnt2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt #turtle talks

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mousehole5000 · 3 years

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this is it... the final post.... 226 through THE END!!!!!

this shit with mu qing and the river of lava is SOOOO dramatic im loving it

oh my god theyre on a FUCKING bridge of course they are okay let’s go boys

“You’re right. We’re alike. You think me odd, I think you to be rather weird too.” - so what im getting from this is that xie lian and mu qing are the only characters in this book with working gaydar okay yup got it this checks out

god... the fact that xie lian is ready to be like “look mu qing we can just forget about the past it doesnt matter we dont have to be friends i know you dont like me but im not gonna let you die over it” and then mu qing is like “.... god i really do admire you huh”

“You...certainly...are rather amazing. You’re...also...a better person...than me. Long story short, I...very much wanted...to become your f-f-friend.” - going to think about this for the rest of all time im about to become utterly unintelligible im overcome with emotions

“And, at the end of the white silk band, Feng Xin was gripping Ruoye with one hand while the other was holding on to a steel-faced Mu Qing, and he shouted towards him.” - the fucking IMAGE of this im gonna cry this is everything i could have asked for im so happy also mu qing dangling there like “ welp. guess ill live“

“Feng Xin was almost burnt by that pillar of fire, and he shouted in outrage. “WHAT’S WITH THIS BAND OF DOG SHITS, ATTACKING PEOPLE WHILE THEY’RE DOWN, SO VILE! FUCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!” Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??” - theyre so funny!!! and theyre best friends!!! theyre joking together now in the middle of all this i could cry theyre back!!!

“Using sticks as arrows, he held the bow with one hand and used his teeth to bite back the bowstring.” - no clue how practical this is but okay archer boy. hot

i actually have so many little quips between the three of them highlighted but we’d be here all night if i included them all. im literally so delighted by this omg worth the wait

“Each sabre strike slashed to the bone. It wasn’t like Xie Lian had never seen Hua Cheng use the sabre before in the past, but his style had always been easy and leisurely, nonchalant and casual. Rather than say he was handling a weapon, it was more like he was toying with a small knife. Yet those blade marks were filled with killing intent. It was easy to imagine just how skilled the one exchanging blows with him was, and how perilous this battle.” you have no idea how mad i was when i read this and thought we missed witnessing the fight between hc and jw omg

“Behind him, Feng Xin muttered, “Dear fucking god, may all the gods and buddhas grant their blessings, that better absolutely be Crimson Rain Sought Flower, otherwise he’s gonna go mad!” “Stop your rubbish,” Mu Qing berated. “We’re all the gods and buddhas ourselves and we can’t grant shit, just keep up with him! Look at the stumbling way he’s running, he’s gonna trip and fall to his bloody death before he even sees the man!” - okay i know i said no more quips but this is literally too funny i just wanted to read it again

“ However, for whatever reason, that vicious ghost, in its muddled state, took that large group of live mortals under its wing and fled for many days. In the end, they were still surrounded by millions of ghosts, trapped in a dead end, and it was going to be eaten along with those humans.” [...] “That vicious ghost almost made a move against those humans, but for some reason, in the end, it didn’t. It instead used one of its own eyes as the price to forge a blood weapon. That vicious ghost was already forcibly hanging on with its last breath; after digging out its eye it should’ve broken apart completely. Yet somehow something had shocked it, and it instead woke to its senses completely. “ - THIS IS AMAZING ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? IS THIS ALL WE GET ABOUT HIS GHOSTLY LORE?????? HUA CHENGGGGGGGG

“What a terrible offence, his old habit had come out, and he quickly apologized. “I’m sorry! You don’t have to listen to me!” Hua Cheng, however, only smiled happily. “Everything gege tells me is the best advice, so why wouldn’t I listen?” - this isnt the fucking time afjdkfjsdkl they really never stop

“So you can hold the illusion of a perfect Crown Prince of Wuyong to face and dismiss the Jun Wu now. Isn’t that your objective? Did you think I don’t know what you’re thinking?” “THAT’S NOT IT!” Guoshi cried. “Stop getting tied up in right and wrong, victories and defeat, I’VE NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAY BEFORE!” - jun wu only being able to see xie lian as his successor and believing that thats all anyone else sees too... okay

honestly this whole final showdown was a blast i cant put everything in but it was so much fun to read. the DRAMA the LAVA the SHOUTING t

“Hua Cheng had poured too much spiritual power into him. There really was too much, so much that it was completely outside the amount the cursed shackle could withstand.” - okay.... okay... the love you give will set you free... okay....

“With Jun Wu in his grip, he carried both their bodies and forcefully slammed into the incomparably-solid rock wall! He used all of his power in this smash, and in the rumbling and crashing of rocks, he also heard the sound of something breaking.” [...] “A moment later, Jun Wu suddenly asked, “That move. What is it called?” “...” Xie Lian raised his sleeve and wiped away the blood on the side of his face. “Shattering boulders on the chest.” YES!!!!! YES!!!!! xie lian actually lived that life!!!!!! i loved this detail so much

“After a moment of silence, Xie Lian took off the bamboo hat carried on his back, took it in his hand, and covered it over Jun Wu’s face.” - xie lian... good... another detail i love. a hat that protects from the rain, given in a moment of need, even to someone who has caused you hardship... we do not forget the kindness granted to us

“There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.” - :pleading: i wish it was just that easy tbh. “i have to tell you about the worst parts of myself” “ive already seen them and i dont care i still love you“ truly the dream

“ It’s been so long since anyone listened to me talk, won’t you stay? Don’t...actually do this. I won’t be able to take it. Twice, it’s been twice already! I really don’t want there to be a third time!!!” - the bit about just wanting someone to listen to him talk... xie lian... :(

emily corpse bride moment.... i knew it had to happen.... butterflies.... death and rebirth.... inevitable

xianle trio bickering about ruoye..... mu qing complaining but not letting anyone else fix it... im so happy

“The Rain Master sat down on the spot, looking like she was going to perform a passing service for her. After all, Xuan Ji was the only one left of the Kingdom of Yushi besides herself.” - xuan ji you sure the hell were... a character. this little moment tho..... yushi huang... many thoughts

“ Who hasn’t made promises, or swore to the mountains and the seas when they were young? Talking of affection, of love, of forevers. But, the longer I hang around in the world, the more I understand, something like ‘forever’ is impossible. It’s never going to be possible. Having it once was already good enough. No one can truly achieve it. I don’t believe in it anymore.” - jian lan im happy for you bummer it didnt work out with feng xin but yeah that was looooong ago. also this quote me same mood kin but its chill. having it once was already good enough

although yeah tbh if theres anyone who can have a forever like that... it would be a ghost and a god

fasdfjadklfj GOD... pour one out for ling wen.. but is that not the truth of this world? the one can be pardoned for being good at paperwork that no one else wants to do? isnt that the plot of the shawshank redemption?

okay but the fact that all xie lian’s friends come to visit him while he waits for hua cheng is making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.... fengqing coming together to try to get him out of the house but get scared off by his cooking... amazing

“Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.” - im completely unaffected by this. im not lying i swear (i am lying im very emotionally affected)

okay i love this final wrap up chapter party its so fun. mu qing moving on from the broom thing!!! good for him!! the beggars get their reward!!! the fun ghost city chefs!! SQX!!!! and he xuan is?? here too??? he’s hungry??? fjadlkfjsdl

“The grounds that Feng Xin and Mu Qing had just swept were once again filthy from that giant crowd of muddy feet. Mu Qing gripped his broom, looking like he felt someone had infected him with fleas, and his eyes were wide.” - me when my dad comes into the kitchen when ive just finished washing dishes i get it king

the little folklore bit... fun!!! oh my god its over..... :(

that was really fun i had a blast reading it and on the whole really liked it i WISH soo badly that hua cheng had gotten more outside of being cunty and devoted even tho those are both important i just wish there was more about like how he got by during those 800 years and like did he ever have doubts? what shaped his worldview was it all xie lian or was it his experience as a mortal as well? why is he so mean to e’ming? theres bits and pieces here and there and i know it was already SO long but that really would have been great if there was more about hc cuz tbh by the end, at least for me, the hualian relationship didnt actually feel as fleshed out as the xianle trio relationship like i still liked hualian’s dynamic and it was really sweet how much they clearly really liked each other and everything but i kind of wish some of the other subplots had been dropped or diminished in favor of more hc development i think that would have been cool

but anyway thats some of my thoughts and i really did enjoy the hell out of book 5 that was a riot and uhhh thanks to everyone who read these or commented *lends you spiritual energy through a high five*

#tgcf liveblog #it is Complete i can move on now #i actually have a lot more thoughts about hl because i uhhhh relate. to things. and have opinions due to my experiences #but its also quite Personal soooo i might just keep them tucked away #anyway im freeeeeee #mouse mumbles

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babyloniastreasure · 3 years

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right so i just got done crying on and off for the first three hours of my day and i think i deserve a bit of unloading into the internet about it

dont mind me i just,,,dont have a support system anymore lol and i need some kind of fuckin release. feel free to ignore

so the last week in particular has been extremely rough and today I almost asked to go to the hospital in the hopes of like, idk. getting some sort of help. I have never been this depressed or hopeless before in my life and I’ve never had so much nothing as I do now. I lost all of my friends and my only support. I don’t have anything to look forward to. I look at my projects and my art and I can’t stand them because everything has memories attached to people who hate me and want nothing to do with me. People who have ignored me for five fucking weeks after telling me “We want to fix this.”

i’m hardly sleeping. im constantly exhausted. im physically nauseous because i cant eat from the stress and anxiety, granted i remember to eat at all or have the energy to get up to get anything in the first place. emotionally im an absolute wreck. I can’t focus. nothing is enjoyable. there’s nothing TO enjoy, because everything i had before was everything they took away. I’ve been left in the dust after they told me they still cared. so clearly that was a lie. if they cared they wouldnt have left at the drop of a hat like that

Even my family has noticed that i’m not okay and they’re starting to ask questions. i feel bad every time i brush them off but I cant let them know how bad things really are. i cant tell them that every hour i have to fight the urge to hurt myself again. that every time i have a second of free thought i think, hey, wouldn’t it be so satisfying to make yourself bleed again? and yes! it would be satisfying! but that’s not a pit i want to fall into again. it had me for years and it took even more years to break. and even though I have the awareness to not go through with it and can recognize it’s not actually going to help in the long run, it’s so exhausting when that’s my first go-to solution. And like yeah I usually have those thoughts anyway but I’ve had such a great system of friends and people I love who love me also that it was easier to get past. There were people there for me who cared and because I knew they cared I could get through the rough patches. But now I don’t have those people. I don’t have any support. There’s nobody who cares about me. So then my loneliness gets to me and i get even more depressed and anxious and I keep spiraling, and those thoughts get worse and harder to fight off. it was those thoughts of intense “lets hurt ourselves really badly :D” that made me want to go to the hospital. I literally had the thought of “If I go to the hospital and they say I’m not severe enough to be admitted, I’ll just grab a pen and stab my leg to prove to them I need help.” Which is neither good nor healthy, but it would be so easy

instead i ended up crying for three hours and started thinking the circumstances that lead me here

and like. i will admit, and i have admitted dozens of times, hundreds of times to myself, that I made a mistake. I know that. I told them that. That was the first fucking thing I said. all i can think about is that singular, one, individual, tiny little blunder. and how despite me acknowledging it and coming clean with it and trying to talk about it, it was blown up and out of proportion and thrown in my face. they took my misstep and every single one of them twisted it and manipulated it into something far from the truth, something that painted me as a terrible person, as a secret asshole, as a huge toxic influence, as a deceitful and unappreciative person. They all threw out everything about our friendship in favor of ignoring what I’d said and assuming something far from the truth, the truth I laid out for them no less.

and then when i asked if i could clarify and communicate, they told me no. then blamed me for not communicating!!

thats all i ever tried to do! was communicate

From day one the group said hey if there’s a problem, be open with it and we’ll talk about it. we communicate to solve problems because we’re all friends and cherish each other.

what a load of shit.

i tried to communicate. I laid out my problem and then everybody else got involved, said I wasn’t allowed to talk about that with them, then they called me back like some kind of court and judge and jury and told me because I didn’t communicate, I was being kicked out. That’s not fair. I wasn’t treated fairly. I wasn’t even allowed to clarify whatever the hell they thought. They straight up told me no, you can’t talk about this with us. That’s not communication. That’s hypocritically shutting me down.

“Communicate with us Jask!”

“Okay I will send communication”

“Op! You’re not allowed :) We agreed you can’t talk to us :) You’re being kicked out :) Oh But Don’t Feel Unwelcome We Want To Fix This.” Then they all fuckin. moved into a space without me in it. That’s not welcoming. That’s exclusionary. That’s not communicating either. I’ve been handed a double standard that I can’t do anything about because I’m not allowed to even say hello to these people

How does anyone expect things to get better if I’m not being given the chance I was promised? its been. five. weeks. I’m ? so fucking tired and sad and alone, waiting every fucking day in the hopes that someone is going to actually talk to me again. then I finally pass out in near tears at 3am because another day has passed with none of them caring enough to even ask if im okay

and like. i desperately want to talk to them. i dont know what id say but. i dont know. i dont know. im not allowed to, for one. they made that crystal fucking clear. but again what would i even say?

do i say im sorry? i apologized dozens of times and it never made a difference, they ignored my apologies from the start and im certain they ignored the ones at the end too. and im terrified of saying sorry to the only person who really matters in this situation because im certain she’s going to cut me off if i even breathe in her direction

do I say that i miss them? what’s that going to do? it feels manipulative to say that. like hey pity me into talking to me again? i cant do that. im sure none of them miss me anyway so why would i put myself on the spot like that

do i admit im afraid to talk to them? again that also feels, bad, because the last time i admitted a feeling it drove them all away in an instant. and like also that feels like im backing them into a corner where they have to respond. and i dont want to force that. so it feels like talking is making the same mistake that made them kick me out. and like. what if...talking really does make it worse? what if talking is what ruins it even though talking is what they told me they want?

again there’s the double standard. be honest and communicate, but if you’re honest and communicate you’re rejected outright and made into the bad guy.

at this point its been so long

and i’ve deteriorated so much

i dont know if like. i just. i dont know...if more deterioration, if more waiting, and more dashed hope is worth it ?

i dont even know if they still want to repair things. what if they dont? what if they never did? what if they lied? what if they sit in their little group and talk poorly about me? what if they made bets about how long it’ll take me to leave or unfriend them like my isolation was some sort of game? what if they think i hate them? what if they really DO hate me? what if they moved on and want to forget about me? what if they regret knowing me at all? what if they wish they never knew me? what if they’re happy without me? what if

oh boy i started crying again

what if this entire month of waiting and crying and wishing and grieving and hoping and loneliness was a waste of time? what if this was all for nothing? what if i never get to talk to them again? i. man. i just. i really really really miss everyone. i miss them so much. i miss them so fucking much. i dont know what to do. I m. fuck. im miserable. i wish i hadn’t said anything i wish i had kept my mouth shut i wish i never tried i wish i never did any of that i wish i had my friends i wish i could go back i wish i could talk to them

if i didnt say anything at least i’d be happy and id have everything and i would have my best friends in the whole world and id, fuck man thats really it, id be happy. im so fucking awul

im so. i. i cant see the scvreen i need to go wash up and stop

#hello void its me ya boi #back again with a new hit single #It's Not A Relapse If You Recovered Six Years Ago #by fall out boy #tw/cw for people who are curious about this ramble #tw self harm #cw self harm #tw intrusive thoughts #cw intrusive thoughts #but also general self loathing and crippling loneliness

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