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#thats what compelled me to do this

thewinterpillarhashira · 4 months

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I'm back from the dead with no quality at all creations!‼️😘

someone better take ALL my drawing apps away from me or else I'll be making a whole ass summoning ritual.

"why are you like thi--" please don't ask. I don't know why either 😔

I swear I'll be drawing something sane soon...I just needa do thingz to keep me from losing my remaining brain cells.

on a sidenote; no, I don't hate akari. I very much love her actually! so much so that I'm willing to kill her off at any given moment<3

the ocs were not randomised. they're just my cherished 6 cuz they were my first moots;

@muitsuri ily, no questions asked. (precisely the reason why her and riri has the same linear color LMAOOO) 💕

@axolotl321 I ENJOYED DRAWING UR OC. I love the simplicity 💕

@tokito-dulya20 ur oc. I. love. ur. oc. BUT I DONT THINK I GOT THE DESIGN RIGHT..IM SO SORRY 😭

@silliestsakura urs had me the most conflicted, to say the least..i BALLED when I realized that the sketch from ur oc's school au didn't have a colour palette. the jawdrop dawned on me when it was too late and there was no more backing down..

@kiyokatokito AUAGAHAGA I WASNT SURE WHAT THE CURRENT COLORING WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CUZ THE OFFICIAL DESIGN HADNT BEEN RELEASED YET FOR AS FAR AS IM AWARE BUT--i just went f it and based it off @tokito-dulya20's artwork..

@cloudymistedskies I love mari, but I am NEVER drawing clouds ever again..(that's an exaggeration ofc, just for u I will)

yes, I drew all of this... monstrosity.

oh, and the reference used? .. i’m pretty sure that joke is well known, isn’t it? that one grave pic w a bunch of shtheads—

whoever would steal this? it's goofy as hell 😭

#❄️ 𝐫𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢⎯⎯#❄️✏️⎯⎯#demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #original character #demon slayer oc #demon slayer x oc #kimetsu no yaiba oc #kimetsu no yaiba x oc #kny #kny oc #ds #kny oc art #demon slayer oc art #i think i got possessed by a demon #thats what compelled me to do this #send help

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givemewallywestorgivemedeath · 9 months

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I swear to god I'm too much of a completionist/perfectionist to be into comics. There should be a warning when you buy your first comic that perfectionists should stay away. They should make you do a little quiz with questions like "would it irritate you relentlessly if you did not have the full run of a comic that you bought two issues of and hated?" and if you say yes then they should refuse to give you a license.

#me with monkey prince rn #it wasn't bad #i didn't hate it #however? didn't really like it either #but i got three to check it out #and im like “pfft. its only 12 issues right? thats not that bad”#but like #why #why tho #why can i not just... not complete the run #im like #compelled to #anyway im ACTIVELY hunting for the three last issues i need and its driving me crazy that #a) I can't find them and b) THAT IM EVEN DOING THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME #dc #dc comics

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birdmenmanga · 1 month

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@raventhekittycat

hi okay so I've been mulling this one over for the past day or two and I think I have the answer. not to be using hamburger to explain anything to an american but you're my detco mutual so I'm going to try and explain it in detco terms

There's a post going around recently about how if you've read detco and only detco, the first time hakuba shows up you're going to be totally flummoxed, because damn this guy is clearly important, he gets to be even cooler than Shinichi, he's got a half-page shot of him (in such a panel-dense series such as Detective Conan, no less!!) and he's got a fucking hawk. he's CLEARLY important. everything about the narrative is indicating that you need to PAY ATTENTION to hakuba and that he's the coolest guy and he's important!!!! and then he dies in the case lol (not for real. but still.)!! and you're like huh??? what was that. why did aoyama do that.

But with the context of magic kaito this totally makes sense. He's a beloved character that people have been waiting decades to see again. Of course Aoyama is going to hype him up!! It's his big moment after years of being locked in the backrooms!!!

Anyways reading birdmen for me was kind of like that. The author's previous series, Kekkaishi, was pretty one-dimensional at the beginning, and even after the main plot started picking up at around volume 6, it still felt quite understandable. I knew what she was trying to get at, and the spectacular job she did with the anthropocene and climate change metaphor towards the end of that series really made me interested in the rest of her works. That and the way she writes familial relationships is absolutely DEVASTATING. (I mean this with the highest of praise)

But when I read BIRDMEN for the first time, I was probably in... middle school, maybe? And I read it, sure, but I didn't get it. I could see what was literally happening on the page but the narrative choices were absolutely baffling at times. Why skip over the entire part of the plot where they figure out who the birdman that saved them was? She blatantly doesn't care about that. What does she care about then?? I knew I didn't get it, I knew there were parts of it that were important and I couldn't figure out why and THAT'S how it dug its pretty little claws into me. Even after I finished catching up it nagged at me a little bit, not often at all, but enough that every once in a while I go, huh, right, that was a thing, let me go read it again.

For the record this type of story haunting has happened to me twice. First time was the Heart of Thomas, second time was BIRDMEN. I think the thing is that these are both stories which are not what other people say they are and I think I came into both of these stories with a misconception, trying to look too hard for things that weren't important and therefore missing the things that were.

Because sure, BIRDMEN is about mental illness. Yeah, it's about an evil scientific organization growing mutants in a lab. Yeah, it's about what it means to leave your humanity behind. That's all technically correct, on a surface level, and the fandom at large likely agrees with these takes for the most part, but in my opinion none of that really delves into what the thematic messaging of the story is about.

There are cryptic conversations about authority and human extinction and peculiar outfit and ability choices. You can tell these choices weren't made to serve the purpose of "writing exciting shonen manga" because that was what she did for the most part in Kekkaishi and you can tell she wasn't putting her whole pussy into doing that here. So what was she doing? What's like. All of this. Waves my hands at this.

The short answer is that it's really about the interplay between capitalism (represented by humanity) and communism (represented by birdmen), and explores the role institutional white supremacy (EDEN) plays in enforcing capitalism. It is ALSO about queer liberation and the importance of community, but hey, that double-stacks conveniently with the communism metaphor.

But also take this opinion of mine with a grain of salt. As far as I know I'm the only one who really truly deeply believes that it is not only AN interpretation of the work, but one that was fully intended by the author.

So basically, I like it, because I think it says something true and beautiful that I also believe in, even if I didn't have the words for it the first time I read it. But I don't really think that's what people really look for in a media recommendation.

Do I like it? Yes, I love it. Will I recommend it to others? Yeah, sure. But do I think it's deeply flawed? Yeah, absolutely. It's flawed in the same ways as The Witch from Mercury— a rushed ending, too many threads that were opened and never tied together. The pacing and characterization is perfect in the beginning, and too rushed at the end. There are prerequisites you basically HAVE to read in order to understand the story (tempest for G-Witch and the communist manifesto for birdmen). I think a truly good story wouldn't have any of these things so if people don't like it I never blame them.

It's my personal experiences that make birdmen so profound to me. If you are not queer I just don't think Eishi coming out as a birdman to his mom will hit the same, just as an example. Sorry that I wasn't the kid you wanted me to be. I know you love me and you just want the best for me and that's why you're so controlling, because you think I can be saved by conforming to societal expectations. But I can't live like that. I can't be like that. And that's why I must go. etc.

Aesthetically I do love birdmen a lot. If I had to describe it in a few words it would probably be "chilling", "beautiful", and "powerful", which nicely coincides with the type of things I personally like to draw. It's also silly to a small degree but it's so serious and I know Tanabe can be way way way funnier (read kekkaishi for this. kekkaishi and hanazakari no kimitachi he were foundational to my sense of sequential art humor) so that's not really the standout trait of this series.

I can't let it go because I'm chewing this series like a bone. And it's taking me years but I am getting that sweet sweet marrow. By god. We are on year 3 of this shit and I am GOING to understand this series. and I'm going to make 3 video essays about it

#just thinking thoughts...#stray bird thoughts #so it's like... I don't like it because birdmen is good #I think I like it because I am a certain type of person and the author was trying to say something specifically to the type of person I am #OH #I'M THE TARGETED AUDIENCE THATS WHY I LIKE IT.#YEAH THATS REALLY IT!!!#A long time ago I said that birdmen wasn't written for the people who read it at the time it serialized.#it was written for the people they would become.#and I stand by that 100%#if it really stays with you there is going to be a reason even if you can't articulate it yet #and it may APPEAR sloppy to someone who doesn't see the queer or communist metaphor #like 'what is she doing what is she saying here she's not saying anything meaningful and emphasizing the wrong things'#but that sort of presumes she is gunning to make 'the best shonen manga ever'#which she clearly isn't.#I remember when I was reading fma with a bunch of my classmates and I'd lend them a volume or two every day #and a piece of feedback I received that has stuck with me was 'volume 15 was so boring'#(that was the volume recounting the ishval civil war. it was boring because we were middle schoolers and didn't REALLY get it.)#and like. I think to people who are looking for something like kks. the whole thing is going to feel like fma volume 15 #like WHAT is she going on about? ? ?#like witch hat and dunmesh I think are similar types of stories but I think these two are just executed way better than bm #but because of that it is just not as compelling to me you know.#like yeah yeah it's well constructed. we all see it's well constructed.#the metaphor is so well constructed that I don't feel the need to point it out. everyone is saying it already you know #but bm is cryptic enough and just slightly missed that execution enough that I feel like I'm pulling the analysis out of a smoking wreckage #recently I've been watching mentourpilot videos about airplane accidents and like. that's exactly it.#there's nothing to say about a perfectly executed flight.#it's the ones that failed. and in particular the ones that just barely failed by a little bit. that compels people the most.#cue my de communism is failure post. bc that bm sure did fail.

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sieglinde-freud · 11 months

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i think the fell xenologue does a great job at characterizing some of the royals beyond the vanilla game mostly because every single royal has like one or two core principles that really make them who they are and so getting rid of those one or two things completely converts them into a completely different person. like alcryst losing his self doubt, celine loses her empathy, hortensia loses her resilience, etc etc. but i think my favorite version of this has to be fogado, who has in my opinion the most drastic change. i think all of the other royals have very outward presenting traits that you can easily catch onto and see theyve lost. but fogado is just a little different, because what fell fogado lacks isnt really a trait; he loses his sense of love. (rest under the cut bc it turned into an essay. my bad also fell xenologue spoilers obvs)

“our” fogado (?? idk how to differentiate between them. work with me here) is not an easy person to read in universe. he makes it very clear in chapter 13 that he’s pretty good at deception and is very willing to make use of that skill. his supports with timerra and pandreo also tell us he’s gotten used to keeping up a specially crafted persona meant to kind of suppress his feelings (that timerra and pandreo can see through but. like 1. theyre smart 2. sister and bff ok moving on). but he doesn’t do it out of malice or because he just likes being tricky, he lies because he loves. everything in fogado’s life is shaped by what he loves: his country, his friends, and his sister. every single motivation he has is fueled by this: the constant partying, how often he leaves the castle, all his acting. its even in his goddamn class name (cupido) and birthday (feb 14) if you needed the game to spell it out for you

so thats why when we get to the fell xenologue, the fogado we meet is changed in that one specific way: his love is gone. we know this because of a few things, the first of which is that he is honest. aside from the robe (in which he is assassinating someone! but also. lets be so honest with ourselves here. you can see his fucking face) he’s immediately upfront with his intentions: he wants the bracelets, he wants power, and he wants you to die. and thats it. he just kind of hands you that information, and then fucks off when you win. on what earth would our fogado do that? dude wouldnt even tell you if he broke his leg, he just partied a little hard last night. but thats just it isnt it? our fogado lies because he loves people, hes protecting them. fell!fogado is transparent because he’s not protecting anyone, he doesn’t care.

but the biggest kicker in fell!fogado’s lack of love is in his interaction with our timerra. our fogado loves his sister more than anything, as he literally plans his entire life around making HER life easier. he sacrifices even just spending time with her just because he needs to make sure hes fully prepared to keep her safe (not that timerra wants that for him but he doesnt really get that. which is another topic i could dive into but this post is long enough lets not make it a novel). fell!fogado though? well you see–

any love fogado holds for his sister, or any love at all really, is just not present in fell!fogado. and you could say that maybe its just because of the corruption, but then why do we still see love between the fierenese and brodian siblings? even fell!timerra still loves her brother if her conversation with our fogado is anything to go off of. but the writers know that fogado lives and dies on his love for people, its his entire being and so much more so than the rest of the cast. which is why thats what had to change in him for the fell xenologue. it wasnt really just a flip of the switch haha murder thing (though. it could have been handled better. lets be real) but it was the loss of everything that makes fogado him. and i think the fact that this gets to be highlighted in the dlc just makes base game fogado all that much more interesting, because it cements his motivation now that we know what he's like without it. fogado is a guy driven by love and its just fucking great

#fe fogado #ann gets engaged #im not really sure what compels me to type up gigantic rambles in the middle of the night but. whatever #anyways so next up on the agenda: my argument for why hes aroace—#ok kidding bc thats purely headcanon and has nothing to do with fogados motivations but cmon. let a girl dream.#anyways when i first started typing this out it was supposed to be like. four sentences about me liking the contrast between the fogados #whoops!#my hand mustve slipped #but idk i just like. i like talking about fogado bc i feel like not enough people really do #and like theres discussion about him but its usually either shipping stuff or unit viability #both of which are valid! its just that in those discussions fogado as a character takes a backseat #which is j such a shame bc. grerahhekkdke hes sooo compelling. im putting him in my washing machine #oh and then theres the racism in the fandom but. wow. fe fans and racism noooo way. so shocked #/s if that wasnt obvious #and THEN if there is discussion about him as a person theres like 50% chance its j ‘oh hes claude 2’#which i have already expressed my frustration about as i love both of them and theyre j. so not the same.#but people assume bc they know claude they know fogado and thats just not true. its so not true.#whatever im not trying to make the tags longer than the post i just think fogado is neat :)#engage fav? yeah. top 10 fe character? ykw. probably #ok goodnight

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darcyolsson · 1 year

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actually isn't that so upsetting. how you know that there's certain pieces of media that you were able to connect with in a very special way just a few years ago but now you've grown and you've changed and you aren't the person anymore who saw themselves so wholly in that book so though the memory of that connection will always be there, you will never be able to love it in quite the same way that you did before

#i love solitaire so much. but im not the girl who felt compelled to read it 4 times in one year anymore #and overall thats a GOOD thing like oh my god. i was a wreck at 15. and my being a wreck is what made me love it #but sometimes........ i miss the feeling i got when opening that book #it's not like i don't love it anymore i do. but it's different now. it's not like looking in a mirror anymore #it's like seeing my past self. which is nice in its own way. but sometimes id like to feel the way i did before #personal #...is this how people feel after amicable divorces?

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fiendishartist2 · 1 year

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too alien to take you home– mp100

Once the dust settled over Seasoning City, and Toichiro Suzuki was finally taken away, Shou found himself with nowhere to go.

For a few hours, he wandered. He scaled rubble, looking for anything to occupy his mind with. Anything that could push away the static in his brain– that could stop the leftover shockwaves of adrenaline shooting through his restless limbs.

Eventually, he found himself perched on an upside-down park bench. Over and over, he spread his aura thin over the city, marking names and faces on a mental map. He counted them on his hands, making sure to take stock of every single Claw member first, then smaller, less familiar auras second.

There, on the outskirts of the city, in an apartment carefully crafted to be inconspicuous, were Fukuda, Higashio, and Ootsuki. Another familiar aura– Serizawa, in the lower-end suburban area. Minegishi and Hatori were together, picking apart what remained of the centre of the city. A few Scars were scattered around as well; Tsuchiya and that little girl Shou never got along with were near the train station, while Sakurai and Koyama were in a restaurant. Joseph and his father were long gone, but their auras left behind a trail of power in their wake.

He ran over them all in his head, dwelling on his father's violent red explosion in the centre of the city, where a giant broccoli now grew out of the ground. It hurt, deep and sharp like a hole in his gums where a tooth used to be– but he kept running his tongue over the bloody spot regardless. It loosened something in his chest, the constant reminder that Claw was over for good. His father left his mark on the city, but that mark was an outright confirmation that he wasn't coming back.

Then something else caught his attention; something cold, in deep indigoes and bubbly cyans. Glittering, like it wanted nothing more than to distract him. Next to it, two more auras sparkled, overpowering to anyone else, but just background noise to Shou compared to the alluring blue.

"Ritsu…?" Shou mumbled to the empty air. That's not his house, Shou thought, icy trepidation spider-webbing through his gut. Goosebumps spread across his grimy skin, and Shou was overcome with the sudden need to find his newfound best friend.

--------------------------------------------------

Shou landed roughly on the fire escape of an apartment. Through the haze of his brain, he remembered vague definitely-illegally-dug-up information he studied for weeks before his coup. This shitty little flat on the bad side of the city belonged to Reigen Arataka. He only really bothered to look into ways to get Ritsu's brother to flip out, which lead him to Spirits and Such and eventually, this apartment. Other than what he saw of him on the Culture Tower through the pain of being thrown around by his father, Shou didn’t know anything about Reigen.

He perched on the windowsill, willing his double vision to come back– if only to stop the sharp tunnel-vision of his gaze giving him a headache. Pain pounded behind his eyes in time with his racing heart.

He squinted through the window, trying to parse out what was what. And more importantly, where Ritsu was.

Soft, orange light filtered in from a side room no bigger than a closet, illuminating everything inside. The single room apartment was cramped, furniture packed together to give just enough space to walk between them. The couch and desk were unoccupied, but if Shou squinted, he could see three distinct lumps curled up on the bed. Ritsu's brother, flat on his back and dead to the world, was the most distinct, due to his whole face being visible above the blankets. Ritsu laid sprawled out next to him, clutching onto his brother with an iron-grip. Only his untameable, sea urchin hair poked out of the top of the blankets. Shou wheezed the closest thing to a laugh he could manage without aggravating his ribs. On the other end of the bed– someone Shou only recognised as the guy Shimizaki nearly killed– was starfished over both of them, barely covered in the wrinkled duvet he was wrapped in.

A lanky young man came into view and Shou zeroed in on him. He manoeuvred around the closely packed furniture, with a laundry basket balanced on his hip. Shou wrinkled his nose at the pretty ugly bear graphic on his sweatshirt.

He was padding around the apartment as quietly as possible, picking up clothing from the floor and placing it in his basket. It made Shou a little nauseous, the amount of blood on some of them.

Shou leaned in closer, nose nearly touching the window as he studied the man.

Absolutely no psychic power emanated off of him. Reigen didn't even have a visible aura, just the traces of someone who spent a lot of time with very powerful espers. But that just served to make Shou more confused.

Espers with as much power as Shou was convinced Reigen had couldn't suppress their auras to that degree. Shimazaki, Kageyama, even his own father– they could do nothing about the halo of pure psychic energy that surrounded them at all times.

But Shou was convinced he had to have some kind of psychic abilities. Otherwise, why would he have shown up at the Culture Tower and attempted to stop Ritsu's brother from fighting Shou's father? If he didn't have a way to defend himself, why did he try to go toe-to-toe with a man who could render him a stain on the floor, armed with only a small handgun? Kageyama could handle himself, even if he was losing to his father because he was too much of a saint to fight back. So why step in unless he's more powerful than the both of them?

Shou focused harder; there had to be something he missed. Some detail he had forgotten to look into that made this frankly weak looking guy make sense-

With a loud resounding thunk, Shou smacked his face on the window he was spying through.

He froze as a muffled squeak came from inside the apartment. The man he was essentially stalking had heard him and knew he was there.

Shou's instincts screamed at him to run. His rational brain wanted nothing more than to jump into the alleyway and hide from the man approaching the window who, for all he knew, could be double the esper his father was. But his body was so tired. For once in his life, Shou couldn't muster up enough energy to fight. Maybe it was the way his ribs ached with every breath, or how despite his open wounds all healing over with Kageyama's explosion of light, fresh blood still dribbled out of the corner of his mouth. And despite himself, maybe it was the relief in knowing that his father couldn't hurt anyone anymore and it didn't have to be through death. For all he talked of putting a stop to his father by any means necessary, Shou didn’t know if he could kill him. Even if that meant he lost.

Either way, Shou couldn't move from his spot slumped against the glass.

Reigen roved across his apartment slowly, picking up his TV remote and brandishing it like a weapon. Enough crazy shit had happened today and he would rather die than let anything else happen to the three boys crashing on his bed. Logically, he knew that if it was any of the nutjobs they ran into today, a remote and his own scrawny, tired body wouldn’t last in a fight. But he was ready to die on that tower for Mob, and that same protective adrenaline was still burning inside of him.

Stepping around the couch, Reigen set down the laundry basket under his arm. He wielded the remote in both of his shaking hands. The floors creaked as he prowled closer and he thanked his unbelievable luck that the kids were still fast asleep. Just as he raised the remote over his head, ready to strike, he got close enough to see through the window and-

And he sighed, nearly collapsing with relief. He was less relieved to see the little redhead boy from the Culture Tower slumped and unconscious on the windowsill, but anything was better than a Claw grunt coming to finish them off.

Reigen tossed the TV remote back onto the couch with the basket. He pushed open the window, holding out his arms as the boy nearly tumbled out.

“Woah-!” Reigen stared back at the boy’s wide, electric blue eyes. He braced himself on the window, gripping the frame with his knobby knuckles. Reigen tried to ease the tension in his trembling shoulders with an easygoing smile.

“Don’t you know spying on others is illegal, kid?” He said before he could stop himself. The boy wasn't deterred by his bluntness– in fact his expression hadn't changed at all. His piercing blue eyes shot holes into Reigen. Now that they were face to face in the light of his apartment, Reigen could clearly see the blood splattered all over his face. His stomach turned.

"Do you need help down?" Reigen subtly invited the boy in, trying for a gentle tone. He didn't move.

"Are you hurt?" He didn't even blink. Reigen swallowed the urge to groan, "You got brain damage or something, kid? C'mon in before I kick you out." He didn't mean to be so short, but it had been a long day and the weight of it all was making him a little high-strung. This kid's unwavering stare in place of any actual answer was grating on his nerves.

All of Shou hurt, a bone-deep soreness that couldn't be attributed to any visible injury. But, he couldn't admit that to anyone, especially not a potentially dangerous adult esper like Reigen. He shook his head and grit his teeth against the way the room spun.

Carefully, Shou lowered himself down from the windowsill, until his tattered sneakers hit the floor. He let his white-knuckle grip loosen, causing him to stumble back into the wall with a soft thump. A hiss escaped past his clenched teeth.

"M'fine," he slurred. He shoved his trembling hands deep into his pockets, "Jus' need a min- m'nute…"

"Uh-huh." Reigen scoffed, eyebrow raised. It made Shou want to punch him in his smart mouth.

Reigen sighed, "How about you sit down before you faint?"

Shou crossed his arms. The impact of his glare was hindered severely when he winced. Something twinged violently in his ribs.

"I said… I'm fine." His breath came out in bursts, exhaustion pulling at his wobbling knees, "Leave me alone. I don'-don't need your help…"

Shou leaned his head back to rest on the wall, closing his eyes. It soothed his nauseating headache and his vision stopped swimming for a moment.

"Well, at least I know you're well enough to sass me." Reigen's voice floated around in the blackness behind his eyelids. He walked away with soft footsteps. The distance between them eased a little tension in Shou's shoulders.

Shou cracked an eye open at the sound of a drawer opening. His eyes narrowed in on Reigen's hands on instinct, watching as he pulled something out of the tall dresser. He kneeled down to rummage in the bottom drawer, holding up clothing and checking the tags. This went on for a while; Reigen pulled out a shirt or pair of pants, checked the tag, glanced at Shou, then grimaced as he put it back. Eventually, Shou felt his eyelids grow heavier and he couldn't fight to keep them open anymore. Sounds fizzled out the longer he spent with his head ducked down and his eyes squeezed shut.

Something soft was shoved into his chest in the darkness and Shou gasped. His heart caught in his throat as he brought his aching arms up to block his face.

Except, no other attacks followed, and Shou was left reeling with the anticipation. He chanced a peek at what had startled him, finding a stack of clothes and a towel in Reigen's outstretched arm.

Reigen was giving him a weird look– eyebrows furrowed and eyes crinkled in a mock wince, mouth pulled into a deep frown. Shou's staring must have made him uncomfortable, because Reigen started to ramble.

He cleared his throat, "Uh- I got you a change of clothes. Y'know," Reigen's other hand started flopping around, landing on a thumb pointed over his shoulder, "So you can take a shower and stop tracking dirt all over my house." Sluggishly, Shou realised it must have been some kind of joke because Reigen was laughing, high-pitched and stilted. He scowled.

Shou's heart was still stuttering in his chest, adrenaline pumping with every short panicked breath he took. He pinned himself back to the wall, trying to get as far away from Reigen as he could without his knees giving out. His vision blinked out every few seconds.

None of this should be happening. Someone like Reigen shouldn't be helping him. It wasn't normal for an adult with as much supposed power as him to be here, speaking softly to Shou and trying to coax him into taking care of himself.

Maybe, Shou reasoned, he's trying to get my guard down. If I listen to him, he'll just double cross me. I mean, it wouldn't make any sense for him to be so nice to me. Shou didn't know why, but the thought comforted him a little. At least if he was tricked into thinking he was safe, he wouldn't be in uncharted territory anymore.

Reigen started sweating under Shou's glare. For a kid who looked like the wind could knock him over, Shou was incredibly intimidating.

"C'mon Suzuki, I'm not gonna bite." That broke Shou out of his one-sided staring contest. He ripped the stack of clothes out of Reigen's hands.

"It's Shou." He bit out, stomping across the apartment and shutting himself in the bathroom.

Once Shou had locked himself away in Reigen's dingy bathroom, he realised his mistake. He just trapped himself in a room with no exits, where he would be a sitting duck to anything Reigen was planning to do. If he was ambushed in here, that would be it.

With wheezing breaths, Shou encased the door with the strongest barrier he could muster. He braced himself on the counter, too occupied with the door to care about how it dug painfully into his back.

He waited there for a few minutes, carefully trained ears straining to make out any sounds outside of the bathroom. Once in a while, a floorboard would creak or blankets would shift and Shou's whole body would tense. It was agony, knowing something was coming and just waiting for it to happen.

Ten more minutes passed and Shou's barrier was starting to flicker away. His raised arms shook with exhaustion, but he couldn't let them drop. Not if Reigen was playing the waiting game, tiring him out before deciding to strike. Not if Reigen was going to barge in and reveal himself to be another Toichiro Suzuki.

Except– except, if he was just like Toichiro, why would he be here, watching over the Kageyamas and their blond friend? Shou's father hadn't ever shown that level of care, at least since Claw started getting big. Shouldn't he be on top of that weird broccoli tree, claiming the remains of Seasoning City for himself?

Irrationally, Shou wanted to believe in this idea; there was stability in someone he could hate, someone he could fight back against. Honestly, he didn't know what to do with being shown genuine kindness. It wasn't normal.

Again, his barrier wavered as his thoughts pooled around the fight with his father. Reigen had put his life on the line for Ritsu's brother, promising to protect him even when Toichiro was ready to kill them both. When he shut his eyes against the memory, all he could see behind his eyelids was Kageyama's subtly grateful expression. His trust that Reigen would take care of it. The way he relaxed for a moment, relieved at the sight of Reigen strolling up to a losing battle with the arrogance of someone who had the world in the palm of his hand.

This is so stupid.

Shou let his barrier fall as he slumped on the floor.

If Ritsu's brother trusts him, then that's going to have to be enough for me too.

It took a long time for the water to run clear, but eventually Shou had scrubbed all of the grime and blood (both dried and fresh) caked on his skin and hair. Now, under the lukewarm water spewing unevenly out of the dinky showerhead, Shou felt the full force of his exhaustion. He could have fallen asleep right there, leaning against the yellowing shower tiles. Instead, Shou got out and dried himself off, shivering against the stale, chilly air.

The clothes Reigen gave him definitely belonged to a kid, which surprised him. He didn't remember his guys telling him about Reigen having any children. The matching pyjama shirt and pants were adorned with cats, each with a speech bubble telling a horrible cat-themed pun. Their only saving grace was the fact that they were a peaceful blue, not unlike a certain best-friend's aura (which was quickly becoming Shou's favourite colour, incidentally). Shou wrinkled his nose at them, his cheeks growing warm with embarrassment at the thought of putting them on. If anyone caught him wearing these– god forbid if Ritsu saw these– he would die of mortification on the spot. He eyed the bloodied and ripped jacket he shucked off, but dismissed the thought of putting it back on. Reigen told him he was making a mess and Shou's stomach squirmed at the prospect of angering him.

Despite probably belonging to someone a few years younger than him, the pyjamas swallowed Shou's meagre frame. He floated a little to reach the small mirror hung up for someone much taller than him. As he poked and prodded at his ribs in his reflection, Shou realised just how prominently they stuck out. It was normal for Shou, but alongside the twinge in his stomach, he couldn't ignore it. He grimaced, trying to remember when his last meal was. Fukuda might have made him choke down a few spoonfuls of rice the day before he met up with Ritsu. He couldn't remember; Shou could barely keep the days straight in his head in this state.

At least his ribs weren't broken like he thought they were. They definitely cracked during the fight, probably when his father blasted him into a wall. Silently, he thanked Ritsu's brother, not for the first time that day. Before he healed everyone, Shou was sure he was going to die on that tower, with broken ribs and a few missing teeth to show for it.

He was paler than usual and his eyes were still a little unfocused. But, judging by how most of his dizziness had gone away and his head splitting headache was reduced to a low thrum, Shou didn't have a concussion. That stumped him, since Toichiro had fought him without mercy, incapacitating him to an extent that coming out of it without irreparable damage was shocking. Shou snorted; not like he hadn't tried.

--------------------------------------------------

Reigen paced around the apartment as quietly as possible. He couldn't stop, even when he kept bumping into the corner of his couch. Everytime he knocked his shins into something he froze, whipping around to make sure he didn't wake the kids. He was buzzing with nervous energy and continued his pacing anyways.

Reigen had been on his feet since they made the long trek to his apartment. The last few hours were spent cleaning up after the boys and watching them like a hawk, even after they had long since fallen asleep. It was irrational, but Reigen didn't want to shut his eyes for a second. The thought of leaving these kids vulnerable when he was supposed to be responsible for them again filled him with dread.

This was a different kind of restlessness now though; Shou was obviously tired and hurting and Reigen couldn't help but worry for him. He was even younger looking than Ritsu– shorter than Mob and with a frame so underweight, Reigen wondered if he was malnourished. Everytime he looked at the boy, Reigen's heart rate spiked thinking about what that meant for Toichiro. Yeah, beating up middle schoolers was awful, but a kid younger than that? Now that was deplorable. Seeing the small teen tattered and nearly falling asleep standing up left a sour taste in his mouth.

It took Shou so long to start his shower that Reigen wondered if he was even in the apartment anymore at all. Was he the one that could turn invisible? Reigen couldn't keep all these espers and their different powers straight. A few months ago he didn't even know espers other than Mob existed. He stopped his pacing, waiting for the water to start. After a few moments, the sound of his shower filled the silent apartment and he sighed with relief.

Eventually, Shou finished his hour-long shower. He finally creeped out of the bathroom and Reigen could see the full extent of his fatigue.

He limped across Reigen's cheap flooring, favouring one of his legs and walking stiffly, trying to move his hip as little as possible. An arm rested around his chest protectively; he was hunched over it and breathing shallowly, breath stuttering every few seconds as he rubbed circles into his ribs. His nose was crooked, like it had been broken and set wrong, and when he grimaced, Reigen spotted a few missing teeth. He really hoped they were baby teeth.

Reigen knew that if he looked, he wouldn't find any evidence of injury at all– Mob's powers took care of that. Where they failed however, was the details; broken bones set imperfectly or leftover pain where no cuts or bruises lie. He saw it in the kids already, when he looked them over for the source of their soreness. Teruki complained the whole way home about his chest, until Ritsu shut him up with his own grumblings about the twinge in his back. Mob was completely out of commission, barely able to keep his head up as they floated him to the apartment, but he too complained about various aches and pains in due time. But when he sat them all down after their showers, he couldn't find a single scratch on any of them.

The quiet rage that had been simmering beneath his skin since he met Toichiro on the Culture Tower was near impossible to set aside now. Reigen couldn't imagine the type of person you would have to be to see literal children as fair game to fight. That cold, merciless look in Toichiro's eyes– different, yet just as immature as the ones reflected in the 7th Division members'– set something dangerous aflame inside of Reigen. That same something that let him aim Sakurai's gun at another person without hesitation.

While Reigen seethed, Shou shuffled over to the couch. He tried to sit as far away from Reigen as possible, crossing his arms and eyeing him with blatant suspicion.

"Where does it hurt?" Reigen asked without preamble, "I've got painkillers, but I want to make sure nothing else is wrong before I give them to you. No concussion or anything, right? I don't actually know how to check for those…" He rambled, trying to fill the gap in conversation. Shou's heart pounded in his ears, and his mouth was wired shut. He didn't want to answer, but Reigen was getting more animated by the minute and each fast, sudden movement made Shou's want to scream.

"No." He stated, emotionless. Sweat gathered under his wet hair laying limp against his forehead.

"Oh, well, that's good then. Great. Let me just-" Reigen scrambled into a side room, emerging with a squat bottle of liquid medicine and a glass of water. He handed them to Shou, watching him expectantly.

The bottle of generic kid's painkillers was nearly full and obviously old. He could see a layer of dust on it and the label was yellowing with age. Shou tried very hard not to crinkle his nose at it.

"I know it's ah- not brand new or anything. But it's not expired! Don't worry, I checked." The smirk he sent Shou was not reassuring, which must be why he continued despite getting no acknowledgement, "Sorry, I just haven't had to buy medicine for kids in a little bit," he laughed, "Mob outgrew that stuff pretty soon, so I stopped stocking up on it."

"...How old do you think I am?"

Reigen paused. He wasn't sure what the right answer to this question was.

"Um… like ten? Eleven, maybe?" He said, tentatively.

This 'totally harmless' front Reigen was putting on was pretty convincing, because Shou contemplated throttling him for a moment before he caught himself.

He handed the bottle back to Reigen. It was probably– no, definitely– laced with something.

"No thanks." Shou's patience was growing thin. The urge to escape back out the window itched just under his skin.

Reigen blew out a long sigh, "Alright, guess we're doing this the hard way. No medicine." He ran a hand through his hair, "You hungry, then?"

He didn't wait for a response, already halfway to the side room (which Shou could now see was a tiny kitchen) that he got the medicine from. Shou sat rigidly on the edge of his seat, hands balled by his sides just in case. He was spring-loaded, ready for anything, like always.

The microwave beeped. Shou scolded himself for flinching at it.

Reigen was soon sitting in front of Shou on the coffee table. Once again, he handed Shou something he had long since learned to never accept.

Shou took the plate, staring down at the food Reigen reheated for him. The smell of barely seasoned rice and eggs, scrambled together haphazardly, attacked his senses. His hands trembled as he fought with himself to refuse it, just like the medicine.

He looked up at Reigen, venom in his voice betraying the shaky smirk on his face, "How do I know you didn't do anything to it?" He challenged. Reigen visibly paled.

"Wh- you think I'm trying to poison you?! What kind of person do you think I am?" He whisper-shouted.

Shou shrugged, "I don't know, you tell me." His stomach turned– whether from the nearly irresistable temptation of the food sitting in his lap or from the frustrated pinch of Reigen's face, he didn't know.

"Just eat, kid. You look like you're going to faint if you don't. I promise I'm not plotting to kill you– I can't believe I even have to say that." He said, exasperation clear in the way he buried his face in his hands. When that didn't convince Shou, Reigen moved to stand up. He might as well get some laundry done while the boy sulked.

Shou jumped back with a choked shriek. He threw up a bright orange barrier at the abrupt action, flinching away. Reigen sat down just as fast.

"Hey- hey! It's okay– look I'm sitting, don't worry just- kiddo, just calm down!" He babbled, hands up in a placating manner as he tried to reassure Shou. His teeth were chattering, but by the strain in his jaw, he was desperately trying to hide it. His eyes, wide as saucers, were trained on Reigen. The rest of his face was tense, trying to keep a mask of aloofness over his fear. It looked wrong on a face so young.

He kept rambling until Shou stopped tracking his hands with his eyes. The crackling barrier between them fizzled out soon after.

"Sh-shut up." Shou mumbled, voice shaking. He picked up his spoon and took a bite of the first full meal he's had all day.

"Woah- slow down! You'll make yourself sick!" Reigen exclaimed. Shou tuned him out, continuing to shovel mediocre rice and eggs into his mouth with reckless abandon. He barely took a breath between bites. Now that food was in front of him, the ravenous hunger tearing through him was making itself known.

Shou got up from the couch and mindlessly walked into the kitchen.

Reigen blinked, "Where are you going?" He asked dumbly. Shou could barely stand just moments ago, so why was he suddenly keen on stumbling around Reigen's apartment?

Shou rummaged through Reigen's barren fridge. He spotted the rest of the leftovers immediately, popping open the container and helping himself to its contents. He didn't even heat it up.

Alarms were going off in Shou's head; he was seriously pushing his luck acting like this. No matter how nice Reigen seemed to Ritsu's brother and how strangely accommodating he was being to Shou, there was no telling how much annoyance he would take before lashing out. But Shou couldn't help it– this newfound instability was like a rug pulled from under his feet and he needed something familiar to hang on to. And being a smartass was unfortunately very familiar to him.

"I'm getting more obviously." Shou grumbled in between bites.

"Please don't overeat. I am not cleaning up vomit tonight." Shou padded back into the main room, crashing on the couch and curling into the arm.

"Whatever, old man. I'm not g'nna barf…" He drifted off, finally giving into the tired itch behind his eyes.

He shook his head, suppressing a sigh. Slowly this time, Reigen stood again. He tip-toed around the apartment, searching for something to lay on top of Shou. Reluctantly, he nabbed one of the blankets he piled onto the boys. He hovered in front of Shou. Will he freak out if I tuck him in? He's kinda jumpy… Reigen thought. He didn't want to think of why the kid was so skittish– it was too late for that kind of rumination.

After a few awkward moments of shuffling, Shou started snoring and Reigen gave up. He threw the thin fleece blanket over the boy.

God, finally, they're all down. He scanned his apartment, chuckling softly to himself. How did I manage to become a temporary guardian to four kids? What the hell are their parents doing instead of watching their kids?

Reigen had asked after they found Mob if the boys all had somewhere to stay, which was met with a resounding (and reluctant, in some cases) no. Apparently, their houses had all been destroyed right before their attack on Claw. He decided to ask more about that later, unease settling in the back of his mind at Mob's faintly haunted expression. Teru skirted around the issue, but Mob chimed in absentmindedly that he lived alone and Reigen decided right then that they would all be staying at his place.

Suddenly, he realised that with the boys taking his bed and Shou passed out on his couch, there was nowhere for Reigen to sleep. Although, after the day's events, Reigen didn't even know if he wanted to. He settled into his squeaky desk chair, crossing his arms over his chest and reluctantly shutting his eyes.

#theres a second part to this fic but ehhhhh im not a big fan of it #theres bits and peices i really like but as a whole its a little directionless and overall doesnt fit this fic #yall can really see who my fav is......... im a shou liker what can i say. hes my boy #shou's trauma is to me what teru's is to others #not to say i dont like exploring teru's shit with claw (ive read and gone crazy over all of issho) but i think shou's a bit more compelling #like i want to know what it was like growing up in claw. what kind of parent toichiro was before he tried to take over the world #was he neglectful? was he just as violent as he was in wd arc? or was he almost never around and always out doing claw shit?#who took care of shou when his dad was out taking over the world?? did he do it himself? was it fukuda and them? was it higher ups like-#-the super five???? i want to KNOW #he has sooo many problems and i just want to sink my teeth into every one of them #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #shou suzuki #reigen arataka #ritshou #implied #my fic #kinda switches pov randomly but thats just how it made the most sense to me #theres more fics i want to post but i think i need to tweak them. made them a bit less ooc maybe? esp mob in one of them.......#mp100 fanfic #tw disordered eating #kinda. mentions of malnourishment and shou not eatinf properly

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trainingdummyrabbit · 9 months

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i wish kaigaku wasn't evil i would've loved to see him as the thunder hashira potentially

i think kaigaku should get to continue to commit atrocities because its funny <33

genuinely tho god this is such a Concept because like. yes yes the nuances of good vs evil and potential vs execution but honestly i just. dont think thats something thats fully in the cards for him. because like... his selfishness is such a huge part of Him as a character that getting rid of it just feels like itd make him.. an Entirely Different Character. its a Core Character Trait.

like!!! yeah!!!! i would really love to see him actually get along (or interact at all) with other characters!!! but for him specifically, the fact that hes so genuinely selfish is what makes him so interesting. its less of what he does, and more of how does he get there. personally, of course.

and then, especially with the whole pillar thing, i genuinely do not think that would make him any happier. i dont know what would. i dont even know if he does either.

this is getting away from me but tl;dr: seeing him in a non-(solely)-antagonistic role would be really fun but because of how his character is at a core point, it would have to be something intensely worked towards to make it feel satisfying and not disregard the things that are Very Much Wrong With Him

#pikasks #kny #kny spoilers #again: he Needs to be pushed down several flights of stairs. for Growth(tm).#what makes him so compelling to me specifically is exactly that potential for growth.#i dont know how it would happen; or even if it reasonably could--#and im not gonna preach some redemption thing bc thats not quite it either. not in the typical way.#hes just always gonna kinda suck. thats just him. its just a matter of how far hes willing to go.#but its not if others are willing to 'forgive' him. its if he has the ability to figure Himself out. if he can Choose to make other choices #am i making sense?#i dont think any of this is really want he wants. referring to power and respect and position and all that.#i think thats just a claim he hides behind because its the only thing he thinks he can reach for.#im not quite describing it correctly but. again. only so much you can do with a character like him <//33

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