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officialspec · 2 months

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can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

#ask #headcanons #passes out. my Mind #dunmesh

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miwaqrsp · 1 year

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A hell of a ride (Ghost x AFAB!Reader)

A/N: I just read like moments ago a pregnancy fanfic abt König and now I wanna write one abt Ghost since I’m a Ghost girlie. So yea

Summary: Reader gives birth. That’s it thats the summary. Btw heavy on swearing and details so if ya don’t like that, go read the original creators post and follow ‘em <3

Warnings: heavy language, slight gore, pregnancy bs, childbirth, mentions of slight trauma

———

Simon was having a nightmare. A vision, to be exact. He had a dream where you were in labor. Screaming on top of your lungs begging for the child to come out already. He had a dream where you finally after so many agonizing hours gave him your first child. His first child. The doctors said that you were too exhausted. And there might be a 70-30 ratio of your survival since you exhausted yourself too much. He dreamt of you dying at childbirth. Leaving him alone, with his newborn child in arms.

When he woke up in a pool of sweat. He quickly turned around to check your side of the bed hoping you were there. You were. Except for you were sitting up on the edge of the bed. Softly grunting. “3:47am”you said softly. “W-what” your husband questioned. “Around 3:47am I think my water broke. You still got good timing. You’re not late” you said slightly turning around and softly smiling at your husband. Simon quickly turned over to pick up his watch to loom at it. Exactly 4am. FUCK. He scooted over to you and rubbed your back slowly while looking at you with a very worrisome look on his face. You gravitated along with the movement of Simons arm on your back. Rocking from left to right slowly. Gripping the side of the bed and grunting ever so slightly with slight sheet of sweat covering your face and body.

Simon knew, it was time. He bulleted out of bed and quickly got dressed. Helping you slowly with every step. Sooner of later he would get impatient seeing how with every step you would moan in agony and tremble a bit. He picked you up carefully and hurried his way to his truck. Placing you in it like as if you were made of porcelain.

On the way to the hospital he would glance at you to check on how you’re holding up. He saw how people lost their lives, arms, legs, limbs, organs even on battlefield. He saw and went through some of the worst things imaginable and yet, this is the moment where anxiety was eating him whole. The entire time he was thinking about his dream, about you and the kid, what would happen to you and the kid. Would you survive? Would the kid? What if both lives were put to a line? He would definitely choose you to survive since he’s known you longer and loved you way more. But at this moment. These questions were eating him whole. The grunts, moans of agony, hearing how you gripped the fabric of whatever your hands could latch onto, slight screams, huffing, seeing how much you sweated and in how much agony you were was killing him. He tried to take his mind off the situation at least a bit so that you two could get safely to the hospital. It somewhat did.

When you two, technically three, got there. The nurses refused to let you in saying you came “too late” and that “there isn’t anymore space left for another patient.” Simon had enough. He threatened them to take you in, begged them, whatever, just to let you give birth to his child safely. Eventually after what seemed like forever. They did. They hooked you up to the monitors and whatnot. Gave you an epidural and set you up for giving birth. The epidural somewhat made the pain loosen up a bit. But not much. At this point you were in tears from the pain. You were sore yet relaxed, tired but adrenaline was pumping through. You felt like you were on drugs. It was all but 29 agonizing hours in this state of fucked up euphoria that you were going through. Your baby was taking its sweet precious time with this birth. Your husband ignored any request from anyone apart from you. Staying constantly by your side, massaging your back and legs when you asked for, bringing you food and water every so often, helping you with whatever. Whilst his phone was going apeshit. You see. Today Simon was supposed to spend the entire week on base. Since the team was getting ready for a months worth long mission. He could honestly give less of a fuck about 141 and that mission when his wife was giving birth to his child. Who decided a month early to come home.

The nurses and doctors came in every so often to give you a bigger dose of pain medicine since the epidural was wearing off every so often. At this point you’re already going through a lot of bullshit. The pain from your baby kicking you and from your vagina ripping itself and now you started to feel immense pain in your lower back due to how much they were filling you up with that stupid epidural dosage. At some point you asked them to stop. Since you couldn’t take it anymore. After the 30th check up on you, the docs finally decided it was time you start pushing. They hooked you up again and started the procedure. With the breathing techniques and whatnot. You were clenching onto Simons biceps and hands that were hugging you. Squeezing them hard, whenever you felt like you needed to push. The pain was agonizing. It was killing you. You were screaming like a wounded animal, crying, begging for it to come out. At some point you started cussing. You didn’t knew what you were saying anymore. All you knew was that you wanted that thing, that child, that baby. Out. Of. You. Now. Every now and then Simon would wipe the sweat and tears off of your face and take all the hair away from your face. Silently and weakly nodding to assure that you’re thanking him for his kind gesture, you tried to look around. But you noticed your vision was blurry. Slowly rising your hand silently gesturing that you need a little break. The doctors brush it off. This went on until you snapped.

“For fucks sake! You’re not the one giving birth are you doc! Let me have a moment! Please”

You plead. The doctors calmed down a bit as the nurses came to your side to help you a bit. Bringing you to sit up right, wiping sweat, and overall trying to help. While that was happening, Simon was being told that he couldn’t be in the room anymore. Which was the exact thing he feared. He refused, ordering that he needed to stay by your side at all times. The security even intervened in order to calm him down, but they were of to no match for him. While he was outside fighting, literally fighting to get to be by your side. He was forced to hear your agonizing screams, pleads for the child to be taken out of your belly. He started to cry. Hearing his wife in such agony he couldn’t help but collapse, cry and wait for the inevitable and unfortunate reality to hit him yet again. Hearing your screams made him think about his past, when he was young, a little lad. Having to see and go through hell his dad was doing to him and his family. Then thinking about the time he met you at the old base. Thinking about the time he swore with his whole heart when his old team retrieved you back from captivity that he would sacrifice anyone in order to see you live again, even himself. He thought about the time when you were walking down the aisle in your beautiful wedding gown. Finding out you two were going to become parents. And now. Thinking about how he’s going to lose you.

•───⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

About two-ish hours later. He was sitting on the bench in the waiting room outside of the operating room. Waiting. With his palms pressed together and the side knuckle of his index fingers resting on his nose and the tips of his fingers on his forehead. Cheeks still red from a couple of punches and tears from before. He was anxiously waiting for the bad news.

Eventually the doctor walks out of the room. He proceeded to stand in the middle of the door frame and signal for him to get in. Simon was shocked. The doctor didn’t have his face facing down or looked at him with a disappointing face. Simon bulleted into the room, before being stopped by the same doctor who grabbed him by his forearm “Congratulations Sir.” That’s all that the doctor said before walking completely out and closing the door behind Simon.

Simon was standing in the corner of the room where the door was just looking at you, checking just in case if you were alive. You are. With your arm extended slightly forward with a babies tiny hand grabbing onto your index finger. Simon as silently as possible got closer to both of you. Sitting by the edge of your bed where he could see the left side of your face which was leaned in the babies direction. You were glistening with sweat, hair messy and eyes tired. You were quite exhausted. No wonder why you were asleep and the doc warned him to be quite. He looked over at the babies class crib. He guessed that it was a girl since the baby was wrapped in a pink blanket. Simon slowly got up but not before kissing your forehead and moving some more hair out of your face. When he got closer he carefully picked the babe up into his calloused arms. Holding it. He chuckled softly before kissing the babe on the forehead as well. His two angels soundly sleeping after a long long night.

He slowly sat down on a couch near your bed and was still holding the babe in his arms. He started to cry. He couldn’t believe it. His two little girls alive and well. He blamed his nightmare for the source of his worries. He kissed his newborn daughter on the forehead and just cried silently.

•───⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Simon was long gone asleep. Still holding his daughter in his arms. Both of them were sleeping. You and the nurse were looking at them with awe. She came to check up on you and bring you some food. While you were eating you talked with her a bit “How are you feeling love? I know the labor was not so great.” The nurse sat by your bed and looked at you with worry while you were eating “it was one of my worst experiences ever to be honest. Y’know its not that beautiful and dandy when your child is constantly kicking you and demanding to come out” you said slightly chuckled through your sentence while you looked over at your daughter who was sleeping in your husbands arms who was softly snoring and drooling “Hm little gremlin” you turned back to your delicious food as the nurse giggled a tad bit.

“I’m sure you will make an amazing mother” she said

“Hopefully.” You signed looking at your husband and daughter again “…I hope”

•───⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

A/N: if anyone wants me to make a part two I will <3333

I’ll definitely make a part two huehehehe

Btw here’s the original creator of the idea for this fanfic @lathalchiralium

Edit!!!

Here’s the link to that fanfic in question!! Please support the original creator! <333

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destinyc1020 · 2 months

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Z and Kaia arent at the same career level or status, i dnt see why folks compare them. The only thing thats the same is they both dated the same messy ass man and Kaia is a gf to Zs coworker. Thats it lol, they aint friends n havent even been photographed together.

I doubt they go for the same roles, besides AHS (which i think she/her team learned from not to start with a leading role 👀) Kaia is always a side character and is doing more comedies (and again a few side character roles roles in drama) and Z has been 1st or 2nd billed when it comes to a variety of genres-drama (Euphoria), action (dune 1 n 2) and drama/comedy (challengers). When yr a side character sometimes u may nt b needed on set as much as the main characters, so yea, it makes sense why Kaia got more roles rn (along with other obvious reasons), she might nt b on set long and can jjst move onto the nxt job quickly. Z acts, produces and shadows her directors- that requres her to b on set more and b involved (probably) pre n post production. I doubt Kaia is doing anything bt acting rn (and thats fine). Folks acting lik Kaia getting more roles mean smthn-it dnt lol good for her for being booked i guess. Bt if folks goimg to compare Kaia to someone, it makes sense to compare her to other model/actors lik her friend Camilla Morone or Lily Rose. Nt Z, who is literally the IT girl rn lol

I totally agree Anon. 👏🏾

Z and Kaia shouldn't even be in the same sentence imo. They're on totally different levels.

Z started from the ground up. Kaia did not. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Z's fanbase is humongous.... Kaia's is not. Kaia was born into privilege, Zendaya was not. Plus, Z has been acting since she was a kid, whereas Kaia has been slowly phasing out of her career of modeling, and doing what EVERYBODY seems to want to do these days for some reason lol, which is ACT. 🥴

We've got models acting, former wrestlers acting, singers acting, etc. It's almost like everybody and their auntie wants to act these days lol 😆 It's funny lol.

Look, I have no issues with Kaia wanting to act, or even that she's a nepobaby (Hollywood is FULL of them, and you can't control who your parents are 🤷🏾‍♀️).

All that I ask is that if you're a nepobaby, PLEASE, for the love of God, get some acting lessons! 🙏🏾😩 Work on and hone your craft. Otherwise, you're basically taking a perfectly decent spot/role in a film or a TV show from an actual REAL actress who actually knows how to act, and it's really kinda sad. 😔

So yea, like you said, quantity doesn't equal quality.

I don't even know why some ppl would even mention Kaia or Sydney (for that matter) in the same sentence as Zendaya. That's like comparing apples to birds. 😅

Re: Lily Rose....

Yes, she's a nepobaby, but at least she can halfway act. She's actually a pretty decent actress imo. It makes sense too, cuz her dad is an awesome actor.

youtube

It's just a shame she sold herself to the devil with that role in Sam Levinson's disaster "The Idol". 😬

She didn't need to do that show imo. She already had acting talent as far as I'm concerned. 🤦🏾‍♀️

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quinnhills · 1 year

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Good to know you're feeling welcome! :D this is our little place in the internet, and we've decided to make it trans and gay as hell (n i gotta say, i did think "they-them gang! :o" when i found out you started using they/them too a while ago X3 ) n if you received this ask more than once, my tumblr bugged out before i could finish, sorry (。_。)

anyways, and sorry if this is long, but Woe- More Tumblr Things Be Upon Ye:

there used to not be an image limit before, causing a few- interesting posts… tho that changed a few years ago and recently, at first the limit being 10 images per post to now 30 images per post (you can also move the images around a bit)

if you plan on staying long term on tumblr and use desktop the most, i recommend getting the browser extensions Xkit &/or New Xkit cuz… yeah, tumblr is pretty nice, but it sometimes gets hard to use. it also adds extra useful things to the tumblr experience, which is nice to have. i'd say tumblr is like living in a cheap apartment in a calm area of the city. the place's great for what it is, just gotta be sure to leave rat traps near holes and dont worry about the Beast down the hall,

speaking of rats, we got an infestation. you may or may not have heard of it with the voter fraudage going with the polls a bit ago; since tumblr has little to No email verification, people outside tumblr buy bots to get in here and start posting malicious links. tho the bots are surprisingly easy to identify (often times blank blogs with very weird descriptions + stolen picture of lady or ai generated. you'll know it when you see it), and the protocol here is block and report spam so staff can deal with it

and btw if you want to keep a post for as long as your blog stands, i recommend rebloggin! thanks to how tumblr is build as, even if the original post or that blog is gone, the reblog will stay with you (+ tags on reblogs dont really make a post expand outside of your own blog, so many use this to create Very intricate personal tag systems to make easier finding posts, bc once a blog gets 1k+ post in it, it gets hard finding anything on it... <- knows this from experience u.u)

oh and last thing before i go again (and something i found out recently), another browser extension ive been loving: Stylus! with it you can customize a ton of sites to your liking And with a specific style found in the archive of this extension, you can change how the dashboard looks! even changing the background to any image you might want :D

so yeah, thats it, for now. i got more info if you want it, just lmk 👉👈

and you probably already noticed this, but there isnt really any word limit for posts or asks around these lands. tho on tags, the character limit on a single tag is 139. but you can put a Lot of tags, so there! be free mx quinn, no character limit holds you down no more ヽ(✿ﾟ▽ﾟ)ノ

Thank you so much for the knowledge!

Some Quinn Facts:

Mx., Ms. and Miss are all acceptable :)

I use “gay as hell” as a sort of tongue-in-cheek shorthand, but I also identify as trans as hell, queer as hell, non-binary as hell, lesbian as hell, and anxious/depressive as hell

I’m a vegetarian

My favorite food is pineapple pizza (controversial, I know)

For a few years in the early 2000s, I was a licensed auctioneer

The most times I’ve ever cried during a movie is 5 times during Happiest Season

I like the idea of books, but I’m bad at reading them

Overalls give me gender euphoria, and I don’t know why

I hope to release a solo album within the next year

I hope to direct a feature-length film by the time I’m 40

Coming out was the best thing I ever did

#i am now testing the one hundred and thirty-nine character limit of the tagging system—not because I don’t believe you but because this just #is how my brain works #limit reached #test complete #thank you

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entomolog-t · 2 months

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My g/t asks are 6, 7, 9, 12, 15, 16, 17, 18 and 20

(Sorry if this is too many questions, I'm just genuinely curious. Also, I hope you have a great day.)

HO BOY!! This is a long one!! 💕

6. Fairies or Borrowers?

I tend towards borrowers for the most part. The lack of being able to fly adds quite a lot of tension/vulnerability in my opinion- though I still love fairies as well!

7. Giants or humans

Answered here :)

9. Favorite piece of G/t media

Oooh! I answered this a few times but I always got more recs 😘

I adored the webtoon Hooky! There is a reoccurring g/t theme starting early on that lasts nearly to then end and BOY is it ever good. The story is amazing, regardless of the G/t and I highly recommend it!

12. If you suddenly grew/shrunk right now, what would happen?

I would not be getting my deposit back for my rental, thats for sure.

A more interesting answer is that someone would definitely call 911 for the property damage alone and I'd be hightailing it out of the city. I know quite a few of the local first responders so that would likely be a very awkward encounter.

15. What size scenario is the funniest to you?

As a more general scenario- Enemies/rivals in a begrudging forced proximity because one of them shrinks and for some reason they have to deal with eachother and the size scenario.

Also when the giant is creeped out/terrified of the tiny for whatever reason.

16. Answered here :)

17. How long have you been into G/t?

Oof- Quite a while. I don't know exactly when it started- because I think it started as a byproduct of a quasi g/t interest? As a little kid I was really into the idea of shrinking- not at all for the the sizey interactions but strictly for educational purposes (thank you magic school bus). I've been into biology and animal behavior/physiology for as long as I can remember, and was fixated on being able to learn about animals much more close up. I don't know when it became about sizey interactions, or when I realized I wanted to be big but I know it was before I was 12 for sure. I'd guess somewhere between grade 3-6? Honestly it could have been even earlier than that.

18. Favorite G/t creators!

WOOO! I could keep going all day with this! I absolutely adore @guaxinimraccoon 's work with Euphoria 👀 Brad and Toby are incredibly fun character's and their lore??? CHEF'S KISS.

I get so excited anytime I see a new post from them!! The art style is so fun and expressive, and the pacing of their comics is absolutely wonderful!!

20. A fictional character you really want to shrink/grow?

Two weirdly specific webtoon ones-

Doyun Nam from Act like you love me needs to be small

Jihu from Love and Leashes also needs to be shrunk

#g/t community #Honestly tempting me to make some fanart

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postmail · 1 year

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okay so biggg trans hc dump up ahead. idk how read mores work and i was sleep deprived as hell when i wrote this so idk

okay so trans maxwell right? trans maxwell. but consider that if one part of a pair of identical twins is trans then typically the other one will be too. so trans jack.

and thats just dandy and opens up a lot of interesting paths you could take with that. and look, ive got a whole deleted version of this post thats twice as long going over the whole wendy and abi thing, so just trust me when i say that ive thought about it, lol

and just listen to me. the idea that both jack and maxwell are trans makes me feel so much. perhaps the reason they seem to be rather close is because they share this one aspect of themself with the other.

imagine a nervous william admitting his darkest secret to his twin and finding out that the other has been dealing with the exact same thing the whole time. or jack putting on a brave face and telling william that he wishes he was born a boy and william saying that he feels the same, and that maybe they werent born that way but they could become who they know they are inside. neither of them will face this alone, so long as the other is there

contrast this with trans, hirsute wilson. wilson, who feels like no one in the world understands. no gets why hes happy he has hirsutism, and why he refuses to shave, because they think hes a woman. he cant tell them that he feel like his body has finally got the memo thats hes a man, that it feels right to be able to grow a beard. its no becoming cis over night, but it makes him feel better. gender euphoria and all that jazz

wilson feels like who he is in the inside is finally being reflected outwards. and if other people dont like the truth... well, he doesn’t need them anyhow. he knows who is, and thats all that matters.

when wilson moves to america, it is very much like turning a new leaf. here, he decided, he would live as a man- and nobody would ever know the truth. and it feels great. but it also feels very lonely. it feels very isolating, and he has a dark secret all over again. hes not lying to himself or others anymore, but he knows how fragile this new life is. one wrong move, one wrong person confided in, and this whole new life hes constructed for himself will crumble in front of his eyes.

all of this considered, is it so much of a shock that he withdraws himself, swearing the only friend he needs to be science? refusing to interact with others unless absolutely necessary, never letting himself get close to anyone. to protect himself

all of this compounds into living alone in a rickety shack in the woods, far from anyone else. never seeing anyone except the postman on the other side of the window.

wilson might pass much better, but he lacks something maxwell has- a support system, someone who understands him. this isolation protects him from the transphobia of the outside world, but its loneliness all the same

its this that makes him willing to listen to the smooth talking stranger over the radio. he has no one, and when even science itself seems to fail him, hes eager to hear out the first friendly voice hes heard in a long time.

when hes trapped in the constant, it almost feels like reality has come back to smack some sense into him. of course, of course this would happen, who was he kidding?

when he frees maxwell and then precedes to be freed himself it takes them both a long time to figure out that the other is trans. they are both very well trained in hiding this specific part of themselves, but theres only so long you can hide this kind of thing from some one you are literally surviving in the woods with

so when someone inevitably finds out, i think it would be a whole ordeal. if its maxwell figuring it out then i think he would be more chill about it but wilson would lose his goddamn mind. for the first time, wilson finally has someone who understands him and doesn’t judge him.

it would change everything. wilson gets more comfortable with maxwell than he ever has with anyone else and maxwell can understand and he can understand maxwell

its been so long since maxwell had had another person like him around, and its like a breath of fresh air. he doesnt have to watch what he says, he doesnt have to make sure that his voice doesnt sound too high, he can just be honest with who he is, and wilson wont judge him. infact, wilson almost seems to like him more because of it

maybe they try to go back to how they were after this reveal but they just cant. they know too much now to just go back to the way they were. and maybe they find that they dont really want to, anyways

they might be in hell, but theyve got each other.

all of this to say, t4t maxwil is the best maxwil. trans rights baybeeeeee

#long post #txt #dst tag #maxwell dst #jack dst #headcanon #theory #wilson dst #maxwil #uhmm #this is... a wall of text. lol #trans ppl......#this is the cheesiest most romantic shit ive ever written #ask to tag #is this weird? is this a weird thing to post? social norms evade me

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abimee · 1 year

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i get where posts are coming from when they talk about the, i dont know what better way to example them besides ''weird/strange disorders'' people are often adverse to, and in ways that try to make them palatable/less scary like ''oh my friend who hears voices actually enjoys them and she finds comfort in them'' and doing things in a way to mitigate the fear of them, even people who have them themselves doing this. but i dont really enjoy that this is the only line that these thoughts go through, of how entertaining or enjoyable these things can be, when i think we do need more understanding of them by demanding the outside participant recognize that theyre not always going to get that feel-good depiction of our disorders

like the best way i can personally put it is yeah some of my disorder symptoms are enjoyable on my part, but a problem with that is when im manic and in a state that makes me feel good i can often become a danger to myself or others because im so hopped up on my own euphoria that i forget consequences and limitations exist, and so often mania is just as bad for me if not worse for me than depression because im incapable of being self aware, critical, realistic, and the mania can often feed into a dangerous mindset teetering me closer to suicide than depression. but mania getting played off as just '' i have so much energy! i got zoomies!" or ''mania is actually really cool because [x]'' when in all actuality of someone like me with insane bipolar swings starts telling you how enjoyable mania is Thats A Bad Sign

or like with the symptoms that float somewhere between my bipolar and ocd. im going to ask for some incredibly insane accomodations or say things that i dont understand may be hurtful because what may be a silly little quirk you do may feel like someone is putting their nails into my skin and dragging them down my back until they draw blood. or i may act offputting because my brain is either trying to tell me that i was destined by god to save you from your relationship, that i have no basis to believe is unhealthy purely besides my brain telling me that because you arent dating me that you are surely in a shitty relationship, or the complete opposite where im certain you are in fact only in my life to steal my friends and make a mockery of me by long conning me into getting close to you and revealing information for you to put out and get me hunted down and killed like an animal for, even thought there is no such information besides my brain telling me There Might Be and I just forgot

and to have friendships and close relationships with people similar to me is to have to not only respect back but understand that youre not going to get the feel good caretaker shit where my bipolar actually makes me a fun and interesting person to be around or my comorbid ocd actually makes me a really safety orientated person, it means youre going to have to watch me just directly not say some things to you on a discord call because i think were being recorded by secret agents and me asking you to come pick me up a 3 mile drive away randomly because i tried taking a vacation but psyched myself into believing im going to die if i dont get back home and i need to get home NOW. like i get positivity posts about the ''scary/weird'' disorders have their time and place but when all i see is people trying to make us palatable i wonder if even people like me who are defined and live day by day with their neurosis would be included because we exemplify some of many reasons why these disorders are in the neurodivergence category, one defined by the fact that we dont need medication and to be ''cured'' as much as we need the world around us to learn to accomodate us and accept us without trying to change us.

and theres people more severe than me! certainely! im only in the medium to extreme range of bipolar being youthful and not experiencing more psychosis symptoms, but even i can be offputting and upsetting to others purely by thr way my bipolar has wired me, and i wonder if IM considered ''too much'' for people how my siblings who need 24 hour round clock assistance and care to live will be treated and if the people who wanna de-fang disorders can accept those people as friends and family and closed ones. this also goes into stuff like how we can pass these disorders onto their kids, and what if your child is the violent stereotype? what if the voices arent nice? what if your child cant be left alone with a babysitter or anybody besides a select set of people without freaking out? what then

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cupidyeosang · 1 month

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ateez nsfw would you rather

notes: doing this bc i seen the lovely @yuyubeans do it <3 also im v much a sub snfjfhfb. link to the og post is at the bottom :3

~Make out with Yeosang or dry hump Yunho?

dry humping >>>

~Give Mingi a lap dance or have Wooyoung do a sexy dance for you?

woo is such a tease n it wld b the perfect way to rile me up ><

~Tease San under the table at dinner or Jongho tease you under the table?

that depends on where- like in a restaurant? neither. in-dorm/in-house w the other boys? jongho. in-dorm/in-house one-on-one? san.

~Give hickeys to Yeosang or get hickeys from Seonghwa?

the idea of being marked makes me dizzy (/pos)

~Praise Hongjoong or receive body worship from Yunho?

yunho praising u and telling u how gorgeous/etc u are while touching and kissing u all over?? yes please ><

~Blindfold Mingi or be blindfolded by San?

blindfolds arent rly my thing but the idea of san tying a knot for a blindfold is >>

~Sexting with Wooyoung or send dirty snaps to Seonghwa?

i turn into putty w sexting but ive had more experience w it and i dont rly have enough confidence to send pics ><

~Choke Yeosang or be choked by Jongho?

jongho has pretty hands and is v strong

~Pull Hongjoong’s hair or Yunho pull your hair?

the idea of yunho grabbing my hair and yanking me around as a way to manhandle me . . 😵‍💫

~Tie up Wooyoung or Jongho tie you up?

see: i am a sub

~Beg for Seonghwa or Mingi beg for you?

see: i am a sub. also i am a good boy

~Ride Jongho’s thigh or sit on San’s face?

>:0 i dont wna choose >< but if i HAD to, jonghos thighs r godly

~Dirty talk with Seonghwa or Mingi?

both at the same time?

~Spank Wooyoung or Hongjoong?

neither- see: i am a sub

~Get spanked by Jongho or Yunho?

im yunho biased :"D

~Deny San his orgasm or Seonghwa deny you yours?

the orgasm after being edged >>

~Have Yeosang as a master or Hongjoong as a pet?

im a puppy sub ><

~Touch yourself and make Yunho watch or Mingi touch himself and make you watch?

hngngng . idk man but 😵‍💫

~Call Hongjoong ‘daddy’ or Seonghwa call you ‘mommy’?

not rly fond of the 'daddy' title but fem terms like 'mommy' r dysphoria inducing >_< did i mention. i am a sub. just mayb.

~Receive aftercare from San or and give aftercare to Wooyoung?

both at the same time pls 👉👈

~Skype sex with Hongjoong or phone sex with Yeosang?

not v confident in myself visually and id prolly melt w hongjoong BUT i am confident in my voice :D id still melt w yeosang but. yk.

~One night stand with Mingi or friends with benefits with Wooyoung?

being fuckbuddies w wooyoung is like a dream to me ngl

~Studio sex with Hongjoong or practice room sex with Yunho?

neither, im not into exhibitionism.

~Receive nudes from Seonghwa or a sexy video from San?

i dont wanna choooooose not fair >< but if i had to, nudes from hwa bc i prefer pics over videos

~Cowgirl position with Jongho or doggystyle position with Yeosang?

being pulled back onto yeosangs cock >>>>

~Hot tub sex with Mingi or shower sex with Yunho?

neither, i have sensory issues :<

~Give oral to Yeosang or recieve oral from San?

the idea of san between my legs and sucking my tdick gives me so much gender euphoria ndnfnfn

~Seonghwa cum in your mouth or Wooyoung cum on your face?

cum in mouth seems icky to me ><

~Jongho cum on your thighs or Hongjoong cum on your stomach?

feels a lil more claiming to me. idk

~Car sex with San or sex under the stars with Yeosang?

neither. too much anxiety abt getting caught x_x

~Take Mingi’s virginity or Yunho take yours?

~Library sex with Wooyoung or movie theater handjob with Yeosang?

neither, not into exhibitionism

~Lazy morning sex with Yunho or late night sex with Jongho?

late night bc i always get sleepy after cumming ><

~Wear a collar for Seonghwa or San wear a collar for you?

im a puppy sub. the idea of wearing a collar makes me 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

~Rough sex with Hongjoong or romantic sex with Jongho?

hgngngngn. thats all

~Receive anal from Seonghwa or give anal to Mingi?

i am also strictly a bottom. oops

~Suck on Yunho’s fingers or San suck on your fingers?

have you seen his hands???

~Wall sex with Jongho or mirror sex with Wooyoung?

hes so strong 🥰

~Hongjoong finger you or give Yeosang a handjob?

esp if hes guiding me on how to do it 😵‍💫

~Overstimulate Mingi or be overstimulated by Wooyoung?

i cant b overstimmed but can u imagine the sounds mingi wld make 😵‍💫

~Woosan threesome or Seongjoong threesome?

being seongjoongs good boy sounds sooooo [heart eyes]

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

#😇.txt #me? a sub? nonsense!

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chaitygers · 4 months

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Ivan infodump

OK SO i posted my little guy Ivan (big deer guy) and as i mentioned in his post, hes a mix of different characters i've like found interesting and that had interesting concepts that i wanted to explore in a character so yeah I decided to make ivan!

Ivan's like part of this universe im a part of w some buddies and he's like a werecreature (i cant rlly go super in depth w the lore here because i dont rlly know it that well LHDFCBDVLKHB) he was turned into one like after some stuff happened in his life that left him broke so he needed money to like get back on his feet and doing that (essentially making himself a test subject for this thing some scientists were doing) was the only way he could. Heres where the first theme i wanted to explore comes in, Guilt and Debt.

If anyone's read crime and punishment, the main character Raskolnikov essentially k1lls his crusty musty landlady so he doesnt have to owe her his rent anymore which imo, slay, but at the same time he is riddled with this immense guilt and like questioning himself as to wether or not committing a crime and a deadly sin (because hes also catholic so another LAYER of guilt added)

Raskolikov gets sent to prision to like seve his sentence but most of the book is like him debating with himself wether or not what he did was right, because he mrd3red someone that was a pest both to him and everyone else who owed rent to her, and she was a busive and mean so like thats someon no one would miss because she was bad so he's good for killing her, it was for the greater good, but at the same time in the eyes of the law Raskolnikov is a criminal, as well as in the eyes of religion because he murdered someone and thats an unforgivable act and hes supposed to go to hell for that.

In Ivan's case, his guilt lies in the fact that he was essentially the reason him a nd his family's business went into banktrupcy, if he was never born he woudln't have caused much trouble to his parents. He's the son of a violin maker, meaning business is not as big as theyd wish it to be especially as violins are expensive as shit because theyre handmade works of art that only few know the trade of making them and stuff. Ivan obviously inherited the knowledge from his father, helped him in the shop and helped to provide for his own family even as a child, but he still carries that guilt of being the reason niether one of his parents could fulfill any of the desires they had due to him being just "a burden" in his tiny little head.

In the debt aspect, he is quite literally indebted, left with the previous unpaid bills and unfinished projects his father left after he passed, and left with a bunch of customersn his father still owed things to like money, instruments and materials. To Ivan, thats the way he's repaying the hardships he made his parents go through. the family burdens are passed down generation by generation as well, because many of most of the monetary debts came from people of the past that made those bad desicions and left their descendants to deal with them. Ivan is determined to fulfill these depts, at all costs, and eventually that costs him his humanity.

NOW ONTO HANNIBAL!

I mostly wanted to do the c@nn1balsm as a metaphor for all consuming, obsessive love with Ivan , especially the love for his craft (because in the end he loves what he's doing, hes a passionate violin maker) but literally in the way that he loves as well. He isnt that bad looking, at least according to him (in my head his face claim is jacob elordi specifically in saltburn and like post euphoria and the kissing booth) but he does feel like he's hard to love because of all the guilt hes carrying for shit he didnt even do (like be incredibly indebted to the state). hes super inexperienced in love, has only had one long lasting relationship, and that relationship is one that consumed him so much that he couldnt see himself living apart from that person he loved after they broke up. Ivan has an anxious attachment style, always has and hes like a kitten with separation anxiety, he will wail and scream until he gets back to that person he feels safe with even if it means that he's actively pushing them away because of how clingy he is.

all that to say that he ate his ex boyfriend because if he couldnt be with ivan then no one could have him

So yeah that is like almost all of Ivan's story! i love him dearly and rlly want to expand more on him in the future!

#art #original character #oc #artist on tumblr #character #my characters #character concept #hannibal #crime and punishment #analysis #infodump #oc story #oc stuff #original characters

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kuiperror · 6 months

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i watched the 2015 film "the danish girl" for my english class and i have to write an essay thats due eod tomorrow SO to get my juices a flowin i'm gonna review the movie here first. spoilers from here on out duh

So this movie was kind of 😐. i knew about lili elbe and gerda wegerner way before this movie , im not like a historian on them but i know that gerda supported lili in her transition and they were still very much together and in love up until the last years of lili's life in 1930 shortly after their marriage was dissolusioned since lilli transitioned and their marriage couldn't be recognized anymore. Also like gerda was a huuuugee woman lover she painted a lot of lesbian erotic art. i was actually really confused most of the film like "ok when is gerda going to start accepting lili and theyre going to be happy with eachother?" but i guess portraying gerda as anything but straight is too much somehow and she needs to rely on a man to help her process the horrible situation of her wife discovering who she is and medically + socially transitioning :(

obviously that was sarcasm , but that does happen in the film. Ok to be real, i will probably finish writing this post, draft a few pages of my essay and rewatch the film again in the morning because im having trouble processing this movie. its earnestly coming off as a nothing burger to me. i was keeping an open mind about how they portray lili's gender awakening and her subsequent female persona as a different person where lili can only be "einar" or "lili" depending on what she is physically presenting as, because this is set in the 1920s and obviously they do not have the same vocabulary and terms for things we do, hindsight is 20/20, that sort of thing. but like. i really expected them to steer away from that way of presenting things, because in the modern-day most (and yes. generalizing but thats how the cookie crumbles in analysis situations) transgender people view their agab self and their "transitioned" self as the same person, because. you really are the same person, you just look differently, a way that is more conjunct with your perception of your gender identity. so i was really expecting lili to start thinking of herself as both "lili" and "einar" or like explain to gerda that she is still the same person she knew, just different, in a way. but no, they keep going on with the "two identities" thing, and while that probably is the way that Real Life lili thought of herself, if the story is going to divert from reality then you can absolutely use fictionilization to your advantage to more clearly explain transgender identities to your cis audience .

one thing i did Not really like was the fact that lili's gender euphoria was always tied with her sexuality. and like. yeah gender ties with sexuality, duh, i would be a fool if i acted like they were seperate, but for lili biggest moments of gender euphoria are portrayed as sensual sexual pleasure. like when a naked gerda pulls off lili's male clothing to reveal a silky camisole underneath or when lili goes to a live peep show and mimics the girl inside, trying to learn to act feminine but stops when the girl sees her (as lili is presenting masculine and doesn't want to raise suspicion) but eventually she loses herself in the pleasure and continues to mimic the girl until she reaches down and remembers she has a penis instead of a vagina and its like... normally i would be cool with this kind of sexual portrayal if this movie was written or directed by a trans person or like 1:1 based off of a trans person's experience but this movie is Obviously made for cis people by cis people. and i would say that a LOT of cishet people, even those who are "allies", think that queer identities are inherently sexual. thats why they say that "children can't be in queer relationships" or that "all trans women / trans people are perverts" because they cant imagine divorcing queerness from sex. and just like the way that the movie refers to lili as having "two identities", this REALLY isnt helping cis audiences understand transppl better.

i think that this movie is helping american society step away from the bare minimum idea that trans ppl (but basically just trans women) are manipulating / abnormal and should only be used in media to point and laugh and say "EWWW the main character had sex with them that's disgusting!!" or "this Trans character is the Villain and they are SOOOO unhinged!" in horror and shit. but it isnt that good at representing like. nuance in gender identity or things like that .

K going to take a break and then continue slaving away at my keyboard

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tittyblade · 1 year

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hello op do tell me what is the wangxian fic you mentioned in the tags of this post https://www.tumblr.com/tittyblade/711997184926711808?source=share i am very much interested in a fic with lots of gender

thank you so much and hv a great day <3

(x) HELLO IM SOOOO GLAD YOU ASKED BC IT MIGHT BE MY ALL TIME FAVORITE WANGXIAN FIC SERIES <3333

See all this and more for just ten dollars a month! by ScarlettStorm

its a modern setting OF au. wangxian met in college and theyve been friends for 10 years, obviously pining like hell and cant do anything abt it for the fear of it messing w their friendship LOL. then things change and they change.

the first book focuses on how their relationship comes to be. its got good conflict n even better conflict resolution <33 if you’re specifically asking for what the post says that doesn’t come until the second book i think? there are still QUITE gender parts in the first book too tho. especially if youre into fuckin around w gender presentation <3 there are certain scenes where reading it gave me so much secondhand gender euphoria. reading this series (n im not even done yet!) made experimenting w my gender both identity and expression wise so much more fun. its definitely a comfort series for me <3

some of my favorite bits abt this series:

lan zhan is autistic and his autism is written rlly nicely. making me reconsider trying to get a diagnosis bc of how relatable he is to me LOL

same with wei ying and adhd

they both fuck up but work thru it together. theyve got really good communication and honestly its so refreshing to read people in a genuinely healthy relationship (it gets worse before it gets better)

^i should add to that. its written from lan zhans pov and quite a few of the first chapters are. anxious. the narration reflects the mental state of the characters so reading those first chapters were a bit uncomf for me but TRUST me. it gets so much better. its still definitely worth to push thru it and keep reading it.

the gang goes to therapy bass boosted! not getting into more details bc spoilers. just read it. its written very realistically which i adore.

nie huisang is nonbinary n goes by they/them <333 incorporating it into my belief system. they’re also a. sort of indie fashion designer WHICH??? I LOVE???? they work w burlesque performers so you can get a sense for their creations <3333

ScarlettStorm, the author, is a burlesque performer herself!! she know what shes writing. which shes Good at. (shes also on tumblr so if youre seeing this HI. i adore your fics)

in the second book, you get social commentary thru the characters’ dialogues abt things like being queer, being a sex worker, etc. which to me felt INCREDIBLY satisfying to read. even just writing queer characters living a good life is a form of resistance.

the smut is like. really really good LOL. thats all im gon say abt it find it out for yourself

#mdzs #wangxian #wangxian fic rec #nsft #suggestive #THIS SERIESSSSSSSS oh my GOD this series #its on the longer side i think but. its got you wishing it was wven longer. trust me #im near the end of the second book i havent read it in some while bc once i start again its impossible to stop reading for me LOL #you KNOW a story is good when it makes you completely reconsider your identity and genuinely change you #thank u for asking me abt it given the chance this is one of those fics ill never shut up abt <333333 #asks #owlfindmydream

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mathcorebxre · 1 year

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Kara's Transition Diary, week 1

Hi,

My name is Kara. Im a closet transfemme from the UK. I needed somewhere to vent and talk about my journey in depth, and I dont really have anyone in my life that I can talk to about this so I'm going to put it out on here. I'm hoping to update this weekly, so my thoughts come out as true as I can have them, so they might be a bit triggering and dark sometimes, but hopefully it will have a happy ending! The hope with this post is that someone will read it in the future and I can help someone figure out their identity and it will help them!

Because this is my first entry, I'll give a bit of history of myself, and how I realised I was transgender. I'm 21, and when I started university at 18, I started to explore my sexuality and gender a bit more. I have always found it easier to talk to women, and I've always felt more comfortable around them than with groups of guys. When I was younger, I was weirdly drawn to trans topics, and found myself watching videos from trans people talking about their lives for hours on end. When I first moved into university, I bought a dildo, and I soon found that I felt much more comfortable wearing tights, thigh highs and the like when I was mastrubating that way. I'm not quite sure why, and I do kind of feel ashamed that this is how my journey started. I feel like everytime I have to explain how I knew I was trans that they will think of it as a fetish because of it, but I'm sure its not.

When covid happened, I was not in a good place. I was severly depressed, and I couldn't stand seeing myself in the mirror. I would cry in the shower because I felt like my life was worthless. I started crossdressing fully around that time, and that's when I realised I was trans. I had a wall to wall wardrobe in my room which had doors covered in mirrors, and i normally kept the wardrobe fully open so that i didnt have to look at myself. Everytime I did, I couldnt stand the sight of me. Everything about me looked ugly. I hated my body, my chest, my facial hair, everything.

Then one day, I ordered a really nice dress. It was a blue check pinnafore, with a white long sleeve attached. I put it on, and the way it fit was amazing. it was tight around the waist, and gave the impression of a bit of an hourglass shape. I stood infornt of the mirror, and I experienced euphoria like never before. I cried because I'd never been so happy looking at myself. It was like a switch was turned in my head, and I knew that was who I was meant to be.

This was around the middle of 2020. A lot of time has passed since then, and I don't want this first entry to be the length of a novel so I wont get into eveything thats happened since here. What I do want to do is say what brought me here to write this diary.

Today, I had an appointment with an endocrinologist, about perscribing HRT. The result of that discussion was that he didn't think that perscibing me was the right choice because he wasnt sure that I was fully trans. I think it was really the way that I explained everything, so I want to write down all of my thoughts so I can explain everything better.

Yeah, so thats the start of it. I know that I'm on a long journey, and I dont know if anyone will read this or will care, but I just wanted to write it and I feel better now I have.

If anyone does read this and wants to talk about it, please feel free!

See you all next week :)

#transgender #trans #ftm #trans positivity #my diary #lgbtq #trans pride #lgbtq community #pride #lgbtq pride #queer #girlslikeus

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lttleghost · 2 years

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thank you for everything you do for transfem jesse it means so much to me

it's all my pleasure really!! I love talking about transfem Jesse, there's so much to it as an analysis, and it's nice to have his transness being an active part of his character arc and Breaking Bad’s dealings with gender in general, and it's so like... happy for him as well cause god the idea of "manhood" has been a significant factor in the trauma he's experienced and the times we've seen him at his happiest is with women

here's some additional thoughts/headcanons I haven't posted about I don't think, all MOSTLY specfic to my particular personal headcanon for Jesse but I wanna share:

I think Jesse already having a look thats pretty similar to some other butch lesbians would be a pretty big confidence boost, I think he'd have some insecurity about being no-med no-op along with using he/him pronouns a lot of the time, and especially since the whole "gender is a social construct" thing is new to him he'd have that sort concern on wether or not he's "allowed" to be trans, so knowing about the existence of or even meeting other gnc feminine identifying people would be really helpful, especially other gnc transfem people. I ALSO think knowing that there are even cis women or at least afab fem-aligned people that go on testosterone could also really help solidify that it's okay for him to be trans without medically transitioning, because if there are women who are willing to invest in medical transition to be more like him then he has even more confirmation that it's fine to stay the way he is

oh and then speaking of being butch I do think Jesse still prefers mostly feminine terms which I just mention since at least some butches will use things like "boyfriend" for themselves but I think Jesse would still use "girlfriend" and pretty much all feminine terms, the only masculine term I think he still likes is "gentleman"... I have no explanation as to why I think he's still okay w/ that one that I know how to articulate

I think for at least a pretty long while very feminine clothes like dresses and skirts are something he doesn't typically go out in public wearing, but he does often wear them at home around whoever is lucky enough to end up as his partner (I totally don't picture myself in that role what are you talking about hahahaaaaaaaa)

I believe his lovely long eyelashes give him a lot of gender euphoria, and that mascara becomes the makeup that he most consistently wears since it makes them more visible from different angles

LIKE SERIOUSLY THOUGH LOOK AT THOSE LASHES

I'm really honestly sad this analysis isn't super popular. while people do have a right to project and have Jesse as their own gender goals, for those who aren't projecting the fandoms preference for transmasc Jesse relying much more on looks without delving much deeper into her character and how BrBa deals w/ gender and considering other ways of her being trans is... frustrating. AND MUCH WORSE is things like when those same people who often claim Jesse is "obviously transmasc" b/c of how she looks also do observe her connections w/ women and reason that it's specfically evidence Jesse is afab and transmasc which... yay! (hopefully mostly accidental) bioessentialism! and even ppl who project should still be aware of the unpleasant connotations of interpreting Jesse's connection to women as ONLY evidence that she's transmasc

I don't think most people are being malicious, and I definitely don't think the transmasc Jesse headcanon should dissappear, but there is something to discuss about the difference in attention and treatment transfem vs transmasc Jesse gets (espec b/c if we're being truly honest egg Jesse is really the only trans interpretation of Jesse that could actually be canon, tho that does still technically cover A LOT of possible specfic identities, it just does exclude transmasc)

#asks #breaking bad #this is my girlfriend don't touch him #i could also do without people seeing me use she/her pronouns or feminine terms for Jesse and being like #'don't misgender him'#cause like transfem Jesse being so invisible that some ppl dont notice when its being specfically suggested #and using she/her or feminine terms is assumed to be a joke #not great!#also b/c there ARE some ppl who seem to be specfically against transfem Jesse b/c...#in there eyes being transfem is lesser than being transmasc? or transfem ppl are out to get us?#like theres even ppl who are fine with Jesse being a woman on t but apparently a no-med no-op transfem person #is bad in their eyes #again i dont think most people are like that but i think the fandom could and should do more for transfem Jesse

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raspberryslut · 2 years

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Maybe don’t use the word f*ggot? what tf is wrong with you...

hi. so just out of curiosity i searched my own blog and the only time i have used this word recently was in regards to a silly gerard way video (and honestly, probably the only time i personally have ever done so on this blog). in my opinion, in this post, i think its obvious i am saying this as a funny way of expressing my shock and love and exasperation at the pagentry of a celebrity--who has gone out of their way to align and ally themselves w lgbt and queer ppl--doing something thats uhh pretty significantly flamboyant and campy. i can understand how this can be misconstrued.

i am gay. i id as a lesbian. im not cis. i am a queer person. i need this to be clear here. i understand that there has been discussion of who can "reclaim" slurs in the past but it is not discussion i am taking part in here because it is irrelevant. i understand what youre saying when you say "dont use this word" ; youre saying dont be mean and callous towards people who you do not share experiences with, when you have not experienced the same level of animosity and aggression that they have and can experience. i acknowledge that i maybe i havent experienced ALL of the same things that people who have been called fag or queer or any other of the number of slurs that exist for gay men, effeminate men, men who dare to embrace a little bit of femininity.

at the same time gay history and culture are not something to shrink away from. gay people have called themselves """slurs""" as long as those slurs have been used against them by aggressors. and i am not using it in a negative connotation in that post, i am using it because i am happy someone who i look up to a little bit is doing something fucking hysterical and funny and it is bringing me--a lesbian, some unknown and confusing flavor of trans--joy and euphoria at seeing someone else bend gender norms and embrace parts of femininity i have struggled with.

there are people out there who are using this word as a slur, and using it demeaningly and as an aggressor in situations that are dangerous for people like me. i am not one of these people. there are so many more people to be worried about than a single blogger on a social media platform who used the word 'faggotry' on a post that did not get circulated widely.

in the same vein tho i understand what youre saying. and im sorry if me using it did upset you or trigger an upsetting memory, sincerely. that isnt something to be taken lightly. ill think a little harder in the future before i say things.

now considering the fact that i posted that. oh idk like a week ago, im pretty sure you dont follow me, which means you were probably looking thru the notes of that post. at a certain point i cant be responsible for what people who dont follow me end up seeing. i know this is the internet and everything lives forever but you are beholden to curate your own experience a little bit.

if you are following me tho, i mean. id suggest unfollowing. i do subscribe to a theory of uh. idk radical queer and lgbt liberation and strength and pride? im not afraid to rb and interact with people who toss around words deemed as slurs. if you dont want to be faced with that, because it triggers or upsets you, itd be in your best interest and safety to unfollow. thats understandable and honestly! i want you to do whats best for you. i want you to have an enjoyable internet/escape from the horrors of irl. truly!

i know this seems like a lot of words for someone who has like idk maybe 100 active followers. i know this isnt that serious. but it kinda is that serious to me! so again, sorry! but also im not apologetic about being like, a whole gay person who is very much in love with gay culture and strength.

also. i mean its gerard way if u think they havent heard and embraced much worse idek were even doing here at this point.

#speaketh #ask #anon #idk.

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