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nicksbestie · 12 days

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hii, I’ve never done a request before so sorry if this doesn’t make sense😭

Could you do a fic where the reader is dating Matt and is autistic and is having a bad sensory day, and like someone tries to hug them without asking and Matt gets really protective and yells at the person for making reader more overwhelmed?

Don't Touch Me - M. Sturniolo

Summary : Matt has always been the protective type, and that only doubles when he's with you.

Warnings : sensory issues, overwhelm, mentions of headaches

Word Count : 1136

Pairing : Matt Sturniolo/Reader (romantic)

A/N : this is written with a gender neutral neurodivergent reader! reminder that this account is a safe space and any hate, disrespect, or rudeness will be deleted and blocked.

You hated having sensory issues.

It caused the little things in life to be so much more than little, and a lot of it was uncontrollable or completely unpreventable. It really didn’t have any benefits for you, as you really struggled with doing a lot of anything outside of your house. Your room was specifically set up a certain way, the overhead light never really used, the temperature always set to a perfect spot, and soft, dim, fairy lights as well as some adjustable lamps decorated the walls. Matt made sure to reassure you about it every time he had to put on an extra layer because your room was kept cooler than the rest of the home.

You were incredibly lucky to have such a loving boyfriend who was so understanding and patient when things went wrong. He always fought for you, because sometimes you couldn’t stand up for yourself. You struggled a lot with anxiety, and every now and then, Matt took on the protective role and made sure to be in your corner. It wasn’t often that he snapped at anyone, but if you were very clearly distressed and someone did something wrong, he definitely would catch an attitude with them. While you were curled up next to him, you thought about how exactly that had happened just hours prior.

You had been on edge all day. You hadn’t slept well, causing you to have a headache, so even the gentle lighting in your room was aggravating it. Matt had noticed you wincing in pain and immediately shut them off, pulling you back into his arms and managing to convince you to go back to sleep. You’d slept for a little while longer, but eventually had gotten up and you had both made your way downstairs to eat something. Chris had made some stupid joke about Matt being awake before one in the afternoon, and they had laughed about it, which you didn’t want to admit hurt your head.

Then, while you were eating a usually safe food for you, there had been some wrong texture in it that had made you gag, and had completely put you off of eating the rest of it. So, after not finishing all of your food, it obviously didn’t help your headache much. Matt tried to gently convince you to drink some water, but you hated the texture of it and didn’t drink very much.

Throughout the day, your headache dissipated, but you encountered other things that caused other problems.

You and Matt had gone out, running errands, spending quality time with each other, and had eventually gone to go get ice cream. Unfortunately for you, you had forgotten your headphones, and it was just your bad luck that when you entered the shop, there was a child absolutely screaming at the top of their lungs. Matt noticed the way that your face scrunched up, trying to hide the fact that it was bothering you, and he quietly told you that he would order and you could sit at one of the little tables outside, if that helped. You nodded, leaving the shop and relaxing almost instantly once the noise was quieted. You found a small table in the warm sun, calming down and thinking that the day really was looking up.

That was until the family with the screaming child sat down at the table next to you, and as you went to get up to go to a different one, you noticed they were all taken. You winced for what felt like the millionth time that day, hoping that Matt would come out with your ice cream soon. Luckily, he did, and he immediately noticed the kid at the table next to you. They were quieting down, but still making just enough noise to be incredibly annoying. He handed you the ice cream, offering for you and him to go walking, but you waved him off. As annoying as the kid was, they were being progressively quieter, and you’d rather just sit and eat for right now.

Eventually they got up to leave, and the mom walked over to you both. Matt eyed her warily, not knowing what she wanted. You had your back to her, but turned slightly to hear her when she began to speak.

“I’m sorry about my kid being so loud, I know it can be frustrating.”

You didn’t feel like speaking, the thought of trying to form words through how frustrated you had been all day was exhausting, so Matt spoke for you.

“It’s okay, we understand.”

Both you and Matt assumed she was going to leave now, so you turned back to facing Matt, your back subsequently facing her. But what she did next was completely unpredicted, and completely worsened your day. The woman decided to hug you from behind, and the second you felt arms wrap around you that weren’t the familiar comfort of your boyfriend, you snapped. You twisted out of her grip, standing up and moving a step away from the table so that she couldn’t reach for you again, frustrated tears filling your eyes.

“Don’t touch me!”

Matt was off of his seat in an instant, standing next to you, offering you his hand to hold, ice cream forgotten on the table. The woman looked completely taken aback, crossing her arms over her chest with an indignant look on her face.

“Well you don’t have to be so rude.”

You couldn’t even find the words to say to her, though you had many rushing through your mind, and upon your shocked silence, Matt took his opportunity.

“Don’t be so rude? You wanna fucking talk about rude? You just came up and put your hands on a complete stranger, and on top of that didn’t even ask if you could. Their reaction was completely valid, and you are the rude one here. Letting the fact that your kid was screaming their head off slide, regardless of if you’re apologizing or not, you don’t just grab someone. Especially someone you don’t know. Go take your kid home and leave us alone.”

The woman looked completely stunned by Matt’s outburst, and stalked off. He turned towards you, sitting you back down next to him, and quietly asking with his gaze if he could wrap an arm around you. You let him, letting out a deep sigh and reaching for your ice cream again, eating it while comfortably sitting against your lover. He could tell you no longer wanted to be in public, so he immediately drove you both home.

Looking over at your boyfriend who was scrolling on his phone, arm still wrapped around your shoulders as you both laid in his bed, you felt so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing person in your life.

taglist : @blahbel668 @mattsgirlfrieeend @69isabella69 @mayhem-72 @iculdstealurgf @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @sturnioloslife @heartsforkarina @nervousrebelglitter @sturniclo @elliegrace-7 @mattsturnioloisbae @strnilo @dazsha19

~ if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here!

~ my inbox is open, come chat!!

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forjongseong · 2 years

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afterglow // jay (ENHYPEN)

pairing: jay x fem!reader

genre: slight angst, smut, minors dni // warning: couple arguing, profanity, oral sex, kitchen sex // wc: ~2.9k

summary: you come home from dinner with your boyfriend and when you end up arguing, you realize you have met your match.

author’s note: this is the last of my series I have listed on my masterlist which means, at this point, I don't have any other work that is waiting to be released. sad? yes, but I am focusing on the Carmesí series for now and if now and then I get a short idea, I will continue these shorter fics/scenarios for Jay! thank you for tuning in so far.

by the way, yes, I might have written this after Taylor Swift's Afterglow came on shuffle.

taglist: @duolingofanaccount @jaylaxies @hee-pster @aminatalks @thots4hee

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The front door unlocked with a beep and without waiting for Jay to open the door for her, Y/N swiftly made her way inside, throwing the car keys on the shoe rack before taking her jacket off. Jay was confused at the sudden change in attitude for on the way home while he was driving, Y/N did not seem to be in a bad mood.

“Do you want me to brew the bedtime tea?” He asked, locking the door behind him and picking up the car keys, placing it in a tidier manner.

Y/N only answered by shaking her head. She was now frowning and contemplating what to do first—undress and shower or address the issue.

“Is something wrong?” Jay asked, this time in a more careful tone. He caught Y/N clicking her tongue and noticed that it was a serious situation. “Y/N.”

“You really didn’t have to yell, you know,” Y/N finally said, looking into his eyes.

Hours before, the two of them were having dinner at a restaurant that Jay had frequented. The staff seemed to know him well, and although they gave their best service, one of the waiters was eyeing Y/N, almost like he was judging her. When it was time to pay, Jay overheard the waiter making a comment about Y/N, something about her looking like she was out of place and “not the type”. Unable to let go of the fact that his girlfriend was disrespected, Jay snapped at the waiter and caused a scene at the restaurant. The few people dining there all turned their heads towards him because of how high he was raising his voice, and the other staff could do nothing except bow and apologize.

Y/N, on the other hand, was embarrassed by how quick the anger took over Jay’s emotions. The way she was looking down almost made it look like she was one of the restaurant’s staff. When Jay decided he had had enough telling off the whole room, he rushed to Y/N and gently took her hand, escorting her out of the premises. Y/N made sure to look at each of the waiters and give an apologetic look. She didn’t want any of them to end up losing their job the next day.

“Are you upset at me now?” Jay cocked his head, amused but also abashed.

“You yelled at the staff, Jay,” Y/N was now standing up straight, her arms still holding the jacket she was wearing earlier. “Raising your voice is never the solution to anything.”

Jay scoffed as he pushed his hair back. “Did you even hear what that guy was saying about you?”

“I did, but it was still not a valid reason for you to get mad--”

“Oh, it is,” Jay cut off Y/N in the middle of her sentence. “Of course it is. I don’t get why anyone would not be upset.”

“Okay, fine, you’re upset,” Y/N took a deep breath, getting nervous because it seemed like she was this close to making Jay tick off again. “I don’t know, you could have talked to the staff privately or something.”

“Let me get this straight,” Jay was now leaning on the kitchen counter, his hands gripping the edge of it. “You’re mad at me for getting mad at them?”

Y/N shook her head. “I’m not mad.”

“Then what’s with the fucking attitude?!”

Y/N’s eyes widened at the profanity that Jay never used lightly. This time, she scoffed and walked a couple of steps towards him.

“You think I have an attitude?” The surprise and hurt that she felt simultaneously gave her the courage to raise her voice as high as his. “You’re the one who has a problem, Jay. Didn’t you see how the whole restaurant was staring at us?”

“I thought you liked attention,” Jay took his hands off the counter and turned his back towards Y/N, getting busy or pretending to be by grabbing mugs and other stuff to make drinks. “You know, like how you’re always the belle of the ball, the center of the spotlight at every single meeting.”

Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed, trying to process where the conversation was going. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re great at initiating conversations, I get it,” Jay shrugged, but his tone was mocking. “But to get flirty with the other guys? You need to draw a line.”

“Flirty?!” Y/N’s voice almost squeaked. “I was being friendly.”

Jay snorted, setting a mug down on the counter a little too harsh, almost causing it to crack. “Yeah, tell that to every guy that catches feelings for you.”

Y/N was not having the way Jay was steering the fight into something completely different, so she decided to be petty and do the same thing.

“At least I can tell the difference between being flirty and friendly, Jay. You don’t,” Y/N was staring at his back before he turned around and met eyes with her. He looked at her and tilted his chin forward, asking her to elaborate.

“Darling,” Y/N said, definitely not affectionately. “You have girls throwing themselves at you and you’re too nice to turn them down. Does that not mean you love the attention?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“No, no. You don’t get to say the same thing I did. I bet you know. You’re just too nice to admit it.”

“Oh?” Jay tilted his head in confusion. “Then what am I? Am I too nice or am I a fucking asshole who just can’t control his anger? Hmm?”

Y/N could see Jay’s ears redden and she decided to back off. If tonight had taught her anything, is that she had met her match, and Jay was not the type to back down in a fight that she technically started. All the other guys she had been with were always quick to accept defeat, and that gave her all the power and unfortunately, boredom. The way Jay wasn’t letting her go with her remarks just proved that he was, in most parts, right. But she wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction.

“I’m not doing this,” she said in a whisper before dashing away and slamming the bedroom door shut behind her.

Jay stood there in silence, his head down as he started to process everything that happened in a span of mere minutes. When the kettle filled with water started boiling, he turned off the stove and walked to the sofa, leaving the water to cool back down as he gathered his thoughts.

As she stepped out of the bathroom, having done washing up and changing into her nightgown, Y/N climbed on to her bed, thinking that Jay must have left at least half an hour ago. She never wanted to go to bed mad, but it seemed like that night she didn’t have any other choice.

---

The next morning, Y/N woke up to the faint sunlight peeking in from her curtains, shining right on her eyes. She checked the time and it was only half an hour to six, which means she got less than five hours of sleep. Since she was already awake anyway, she decided to get out of bed and start the day.

Her heart almost dropped when she found Jay standing by the sofa, folding the blanket he just used neatly before setting it on the lounge chair. He looked at Y/N briefly before making his way to the kitchen, turning on the stove to boil the water in the kettle from the night before.

Y/N paused to think carefully what to do, and she decided to sit by the counter. Jay noticed her and grabbed an empty glass, filled it with water and placed it right in front of her, all the while avoiding eye contact.

“I thought you left,” Y/N said, touching the glass of water and keeping her eyes on Jay’s back.

Jay glanced at her before turning his attention back to the tea he was making. He shook his head. “It was late.”

Y/N took a sip of the water and felt relief. She realized she didn’t drink any water before going to bed, and that she was actually parched but too distracted to notice. Before she could even open her mouth to ask again, Jay placed a cup of tea in front of her, taking the glass of water she emptied away.

“It’s still hot, be careful.”

Jay turned his back towards her again, making himself busy with the dishes. Y/N hopped down the bar stool and walked a couple of steps until she reached Jay. Making sure that Jay wasn’t holding anything fragile, she snuck her arms around his waist, leaning her head on his back, hugging him from behind.

“Y/N,” Jay called for her, considering to pull her arms away but his hands were still wet.

Y/N only tightened her grip. “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice breaking. “Please let us stay like this for a while.”

Jay sighed and dried his hands on the towel by the sink before putting his hand on top of Y/N’s. He then started hearing sniffles, and he felt Y/N sobbing on his back. With a bit more force, Jay pulled Y/N’s arms and turned around, caging her in a warm embrace. She started crying harder and he realized it was best to let her be. He caressed her back gently and stroked her hair repeatedly, comforting her more with his actions than words. It didn’t take long for her to stop crying and pull back.

“I didn’t mean to pick a fight,” she said in between her sniffles. “I just didn’t like seeing you yell, that’s all.”

Jay looked into her eyes and cupped her face with one hand, his thumb stroking her cheek and wiping away the tears. “I’m sorry. I should have thought about it from your perspective. I was wrong.”

Y/N shook her head. “No, you weren’t—”

“Sssh,” Jay shushed and planted a kiss on Y/N’s forehead. “It was just a misunderstanding, okay? It’s over now.”

He looked her in the eyes, waiting for an answer. Y/N nodded, and Jay took the opportunity to kiss her lips. His kiss was soft, at first, but as he felt her fingers buried in his hair he started to go harsher, nibbling on her bottom lip before moving down to her chin and neck. The outerwear of her navy nightgown was already slipping down her shoulders, and it was the perfect opening for him to leave open-mouthed kisses on her collarbones all the way to the edge of her shoulders. Y/N moaned when she felt him lick and lightly suck her shoulder blades.

“The bed feels empty without you,” she whispered. “I didn’t sleep well.”

Jay turned his attention back to her lips and kissed her again, fervently. She moaned into his mouth and he swallowed it, his arms circling around her waist, pulling her close to his chest.

“I won’t let you sleep alone again,” he said right into her ear. “I promise.”

Y/N took a couple of steps back and hopped on the counter. Jay followed and secured his place standing between her legs. Y/N started unbuttoning the white shirt he was still wearing from the night before and slid it down his shoulders, her hands grasping both his biceps. All the while, Jay was burying his face in her neck, giving her endless kisses and softly sucking on the surface of her skin. Y/N hooked one leg around his waist to pull him closer, and she could already feel him harden underneath his pants.

“Open that drawer,” Y/N pointed to a direction behind Jay.

Puzzled but determined to listen to his girlfriend, Jay quickly opened the drawer and found an unopened box of condoms. He couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You keep this here?” He asked, amused as he took out a condom out of the box.

Y/N nodded, unbuckling the belt Jay was still wearing. “I knew it will come in handy someday.”

Jay chuckled softly, placing a chaste kiss on Y/N’s lips as he unwrapped the condom. Y/N waited for him to properly put it on, her eyes never leaving his hands. When he was done, he looked up at her.

“Sorry, I didn’t check if you’re ready,” he said apologetically, his fingers sliding underneath her nightgown and immediately making contact with her wet core. “No panties?”

Y/N smiled, almost blushing. “You know I don’t wear one if I’m wearing a nightgown.”

“And to think I let you sleep alone like this,” Jay kissed Y/N’s nose, eliciting a soft laugh from her. “I’m sorry, baby.”

“Hmm,” Y/N hummed as she pressed her lips to Jay’s. “Make it up to me now.”

Jay placed his hands on Y/N’s hips, pulling her closer. When he felt his tip touch her entrance, Y/N let out a gasp, circling her arms around Jay’s neck. He then pushed in, and to disguise his groan, he captured Y/N’s lips and tasted her whimpers.

“Do you want me to go slow?” He asked as Y/N rested her forehead on his shoulder. “Tell me, babe. Anything you want.”

“Yes, slowly, please,” Y/N was gasping at this point, completely immersed in the way Jay’s cock was stretching out her walls. “But I want you closer, deeper.”

Jay nodded once and pulled Y/N by her ass with one hand, his other hand holding up her thigh to create an angle where he can thrust deeper. When he did, Y/N let out a loud moan that almost surprised him because of how close her mouth was to his ear. He chuckled and kissed her on the cheek, keeping his rhythm and easily thrusting in and out of her.

With every move his hips make, Y/N took it graciously, moaning in a way that drove Jay absolutely crazy. He knew he wasn’t going to last long, so he decided to pull out. Y/N whined at the sudden loss of contact, her walls now clenching around nothing. As she looked up at him in question, he cupped her face and tuck the strands of hair behind her ears.

“I don’t want to cum yet,” he said. “Can you lie down?”

There wasn’t exactly enough room on the counter for Y/N to do as Jay requested, but he knelt down in front of her anyway, keeping one hand on her ass to keep her steady.

“Put your hand on my head,” instructed Jay as he pushed up her nightgown, already falling down from the absence of his body pressing up against hers.

Y/N was in no position to refuse, especially when she felt Jay’s lips sucking on her clit. He also pumped in two of his fingers into her with ease, aware of how her cunt was still dripping.

“Jay…” Y/N threw her head back, her eyes closed as she faced the ceiling, her fingers lost in Jay’s luscious black hair. “Fuck, yes.”

Taking notes of her reaction, Jay continued the ministrations with both his tongue and his fingers. He noticed how Y/N tightened her grip on the back of his head, and how her thighs that were resting on his shoulders were starting to tremble. It showed the signs of how close she was, so he pulled back and quickly stood up again.

Y/N was out of breath and didn’t even have the chance to complain or whine before Jay started kissing her mouth, letting her taste her own juice as he slid his cock back inside her. Y/N whimpered, and Jay placed a hand on her back to steady her, keeping her still as he thrusted in and out in a force that was stronger than the pace before.

“Jay,” Y/N said as she tried to catch her breath. “I’m close.”

“Cum with me, love,” Jay encouraged as he stroked her hair, sucking on her neck. “Cum with me,” he repeated.

Y/N made a fist of Jay’s shirt on his back as she felt her walls clenching before the final release. Jay came too as soon as he felt her grip on him tightening. Jay’s button-down was now dangling on his back, and he decided to completely take it off, at the same time taking off the condom and chucking it in the bin. Looking at Y/N, her hair disheveled and her mouth sticky with her own wetness, he wiped her chin with one hand before pulling her in for a kiss.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “Sorry, it must have been uncomfortable for you sitting here the whole time.”

“Stop,” Y/N smiled, her hands resting on Jay’s shoulders. “Stop apologizing for things you didn’t do wrong.”

Jay raised both his hands as if surrendering, and Y/N just laughed as she hopped off the counter. She then noticed the cup of tea still sitting there, the liquid now a dark brown and the steam long gone.

“Why is it that whenever we have tea we always end up having sex and the tea gets cold?” she asked, sipping on the tea. “Ugh, it’s too bitter now.”

Jay calmly took the cup of tea and put it away, deciding to make a new one.

“Before I refill the kettle, tell me, are you going to take me to the bedroom and go for a second round with me, or do you actually want to have morning tea?”

Y/N stood there thinking for a while before sighing and reaching for Jay’s hand.

“The first one,” she said with a chuckle, dragging Jay who was smiling ear to ear, to the bedroom.

-END-

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wilchur · 6 days

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I don’t even go here but your replies to deepdragons were so needlessly hostile.

“If you found it so disrespectful then why didn’t you block me?” This is childish and hypocritical. If you found their take so bad, why did you go out of your way to go to their blog, find the post, and then argue with them? Why didn’t YOU block them first so you wouldn’t have to see their takes? Why do people need to block you, to actively prevent you from interacting with them entirely, for you to not be rude to them?

People will have shitty takes and you will not agree with every post you see — that’s the nature of fandom. You can’t control how other people post or think and that’s annoying, I get it, but YOU can control how you interact with others. The way you were speaking to that person was so needlessly rude and hostile. Is that how you speak to people in real life? I’m so curious as to what your goal was in talking to them like that. Surely it wasn’t to convince any one of anything. Who would want to agree with someone being so dickish and annoying about something as inconsequential as the politics of elven aging? So, what was all of that for? Did that make you happy or have you just riled yourself up? Do you feel like you accomplished something by speaking to someone like that?

I really hate when people tear others apart for being wrong about fandom things. If you were wrong about something, do you think you would appreciate someone talking to you in the way you spoke to deepdragons? Or would you rather they approach you with respect and understanding? Golden rule and all that, yeah?

You did not have to seek them out and you did not have to engage with them. Next time, either speak to others with respect or just make your own goddamn post. Not everything needs to be a debate.

I also find it funny how you were coming at them for not being faithful for the lore or whatever and then, when someone with more textual evidence than you rebutted your statements and called for you to back up your claims, you were like “I can’t be expected to cite all of my claims like an academic paper!!” Fucking lol. The onus of proof lies only with the people you disagree with, huh?

Have you seen the original post? I'm guessing not because then you'd know that my reply pretty much mirrored the exact condescending tone used by the OP. I also didn't "go out of my way" to do anything. I've said so before and I'll repeat it again: I got an error while reblogging the OG post, went to check the person's blog for what's up with that and the first thing I saw was them calling people stupid for pointing out that They're Not Correct. I already had the post written at that point and I simply copied it from one tab to another. This is the internet, you post something publicly people can and will interact with it unless you stop them. I didn't block the OP because at the time I did not give a shit if they interacted with me or not, I was just setting straight misinfo I see regurgitated over and over again to the point I'm sick of it. Because of the attitude they displayed I was actually fully expecting to get blocked straight away myself.

I'm not actually a dick unless someone annoys me into it. Because sometimes people get annoyed and they're rude, that's just how people work. But I guess you know that? Since you're annoyed at me and wrote a whole essay trying to make me feel bad?

And just to finish this off.. none of my statements were rebutted. I got lore dumped on and half of it wasn't even interpreted correctly from the linked books. Yes, I don't need to cite like it's an academic paper because all the goddamn info needed was already in my first post. Astarion was not a child because he was a grown ass man with a government job. There's no basis for "Ascended Vampires can't love" because Larian homebrews their vampires so the written lore doesn't apply. That's literally it. People on this site just can't fucking read.

#ask #anon

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none-i5 · 7 months

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Tonight, I have a few thoughts and feelings. This unfortunately means I have to make an extremely long post. But anyways

Idk about others, but Furina losing her status as the Hydro Archon in those theories isn't what bugs me. If yall wanna have some food for thought, then that's perfectly fine. There are even a few that have some interesting thoughts, and yk if a girlfailure wants to chill for a bit, then good for her.

What I am pissed off about though is how most people want this to happen because...they don't like her?

I'd like to establish that there are two things to determine about how good or bad a character is: if they're good morally/have a good attitude, or if they're written in a good way. These are two separate things. I want to emphasize that.

Whether or not a character has good morals or a good attitude is up to the person, but I think regardless of whether someone thinks the character is good or bad morally or attitude wise, if the character hits the criteria of being well written by creative writing standards, then that needs to be acknowledged. Basically:

Good moral/attitude =/= good writing

So, we get back to Furina. Literally just a few minutes into her introduction, and most people already have very strong impressions or opinions about her: she's a brat, she's childish, she's insecure, and in some situations she is a coward. As we learn more of her, we learn that: she is willing to give herself for her people (her people pleasing tendencies + her extensive research of the prophecy over centuries) and that she isn't too annoying or heartless if someone like Neuvillette is willing to stay under her care for 500 years.

Whether or not you think she has a good attitude or good morals is up to you, and I'd respect that. I deeply respect people (like bwaap) who may have some less than the best opinions of her, and yet can fully acknowledge that she's a well written character.

But first, why do I think she's a well written and well performed character? Well, let's take a look at a list of notes of basically how to write a good character according to a post by Brighton Rose and lectures from Brandon Sanderson. I'll try to keep these as short and concise as possible. These notes are:

They have motivation, long-term or short term

They have flaws and setbacks

They have little quirks

They have progress throughout the story

And that all of these are shown properly, not told.

Furina checks out most if not all of these notes. She has a long term goal (to stop or protect people from the prophecy), and a kinda short term one (to gain the attention and affection of her people and recently, the Traveler). Obviously, she has her flaws and setbacks--I'm sure you'd know. Same for quirks. But for progress...while I can't say much since not all the Archon quests are out, I will note that Furina took the second trial more seriously after seeing that she nearly made the grave mistake of falsely accusing one of her people. Whether or not that's due to her embarrassment or because she actually cares about only putting the right people behind bars, that's up to you. Regardless, it is still progress.

Whoo, I've been going too long at that. Where was I again? Oh right, the thing that really pisses me off

If you don't like Furina's attitude or morals, then that's fine. I'm not that blind. But then, there are people that--just because she's too bratty or that her flaws are a little too apparent--immediately claim that she's the embodiment of bad writing. Honey, she doesn't need a personality workshop, she just needs to grow.

Also, I don't dislike Neuvillette but I do dislike the role some of his fans push on him. No, I don't mean the Archon role. I mean as someone Furina should be. I mean as someone they want Furina to be. It's extremely disrespectful for both of their characters--with all of my arguments basically boiling down to "they're different people".

TL;DR: What pisses me off is how people want to transplant Neuvillette's personality onto Furina, or to hold him up as some sort of standard of what she should've been, not all the "She's going to lose her Archon status" theories. I'm not asking people to like her attitude or morals, I'm begging people to stop thinking of her as someone who needs fixing.

She doesn't need a fix. She needs growth. Yknow, if you'd actually let her grow and not just turn a blind eye away from it.

So...yeah!

#furina #focalors #sigh #I'm so tired #remind me why I even go to twt ij the first place?

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sokkastyles · 1 year

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I'm reviewing atla right now and I want to skip all the scenes with Aang. He is so annoying and immature. Unfortunately, he will remain immature by the very end of the series. He will just get superpowers to solve all his problems. I love naive and positive characters, but Aang is not like that. He's not positive and he's not naive. He deliberately ignores what he doesn't like. He chooses those cultural traditions that are important to his comfort. He has a toxic masculinity and selfishness. And those qualities don't go anywhere. Aang's selfishness caused the world to suffer for 100 years. Gaang suffered from his selfishness ( and Aang is indirectly to blame for the SWT genocide). Aang still doesn't have the ability to take responsibility for his actions. He runs away and it reflects badly on the world. As always, I was pissed off by the episode with Bato and The Fortuneteller. Aang sexualizes Katara, also shows great disrespect for her culture. Aang doesn't apologize for this disrespect. Aang acts like a rat and an egomaniac in these episodes. I still don't understand why Aang has so many fans and why he is considered the best partner for Katara. People ignore so many bad things about Aang.

Okay, this is...a lot.

Whenever I rewatch, I actually do love Aang more than I enjoy interacting with his fandom because I feel like his fandom makes him into something he isn't (and a feminist hero is one of those things).

I do want to address what you say about Aang not being as positive as other people think, and that gets to something I said in my last rant about the way people talk about Azula and toxic positivity in fandom. There's a difference between being a positive person and denying anything negative in favor of "being positive."

I don't think it's fair to say that Aang is responsible for the war and the genocide, but I do wish we saw more of his grief and guilt explored. When it's brought up in "The Storm" and Aang is confronted with blame by people who suffered during the war, like the fisherman in that episode, that character is derided as horrible and forced to learn a lesson about what a hero Aang is, and Katara declares that Aang won't have nightmares about running away anymore. Why? How is Aang's trauma solved that easily? Why is the poor fisherman who suffered from the war painted as the one in the wrong for losing faith in the all-powerful hero when that hero never came?

I feel like Aang stans are actually a lot like Azula stans in that they both have this idea that they stan a character who is wrongly maligned and that feeds most of their interactions in fandom, and that does create an environment of toxic positivity, especially when they believe their fave is righteous (or in the case of Azula, enough of a victim). The biggest example of this with Aang I think is "The Southern Raiders," because people paint Aang as positive and morally good for promoting forgiveness. I've written a lot about what's wrong with Aang's attitude in this episode, but it boils down to the same thing when we try to portray Azula positively because she was "nice" to Zuko in a situation where she was clearly taking advantage of him. The main difference is that I don't think Aang was aware of how much he was hurting Katara by insisting she forgive her mother's murderer, but the end result is similar to Azula telling Zuko that he's stupid for daring to question the imperialist regime that has kept him under the thumb of his abuser his whole life. In both cases, Katara/Zuko both get to the point where they no longer are listening, and then they get painted as the negative ones for questioning the status quo and fighting back.

Because in the end, positivity and "why can't we all get along," when one side continues to believe that they have the right to abuse the other, only benefits the oppressors. There can be no tolerance for intolerance. Those two things don't go together.

The hypocrisy is also easily highlighted when you question why Aang was pushing Katara to forgive Yon Rha, but ignored how she was constantly quarrelling with Zuko. If Aang was really a force for positivity wouldn't he want to create harmony within his own group first?

Moreover, is remaining naive the same thing as being positive? That's why Zuko called what Aang was saying in that episode "Air Temple preschool" because he's all too used to being told that he shouldn't be angry at being hurt.

I feel like a better moral would have been an exploration of Aang's duty in relation to how his absence led to the creation of Jets and Hamas and Yon Rhas and Zukos. And that includes how war forced Aang to take on a role he wasn't ready for and that made him run away in the first place. That's not really a fault of Aang but I feel like the show wants us to see Aang as above it all too much, rather than acknowledging that his inability to face conflict is in fact a symptom of the war as much as any of the other characters are shaped by it. A lot of people like to say that Aang is the symbol of childlike wonder that the post-war world needs when in fact, Aang was a child who should have been allowed to be a child longer and Gyatso knew that, too, which is why he wasn't ready for Aang to give up his childhood, either.

I saw a post recently that said something interesting about how if there had been any Air Nomads left in the present timeline, their culture probably would have evolved and adapted to fit the changing world. The post claimed that therefore it was a good think that Aang never came into contact with such people, but WOULD that be a bad thing? It would be tragic, yes, but ultimately it would have also presented a learning opportunity for Aang to grow, and fit with ATLA's themes of learning and growing and changing, something that should absolutely go with the element of air.

#the discourse

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a-student-out-of-time · 8 months

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Why are some creators like this, telling us which characters we can and can't like? LINUJ isn't even the only one.

//A lot of things.

//As much as fandoms get talked about as being troublesome, there are writers out there who really have that same attitude and sometimes it's even worse ^^;

//At least someone like Norman Boutin, writer of the infamous Empress Theresa, is very clearly living in his own fantasy world. He doesn't exist on the same wavelength as anyone else, so his antics feel like he's just delusional. If you think I'm exaggerating, in his arguments with people about the book, he talks about Theresa like she's a real person.

//Others are either just incredibly insecure, incredibly egotistical and, most severely, have no respect for their audience. They think that, as the writer, that means they get absolute say over what is and isn't supposed to be acceptable. They think that they can dictate to fans how they should be feeling, regardless of what's actually written or presented in the story.

//And of course, you get the classic ad hominem attacks, propping themselves up on flimsy justifications of money or status, deliberately trying to discredit and insult fans of their works for having plausible theories just to be unpredictable, and even going so far as to directly address or even kill their critics in their books.

//I probably don't need to name any examples....but I'm gonna do it anyway: Tom Kratman, Thomas Astruc, Anna Todd, Marlene King, Brian Azzarello, Roberto Orci, all have lashed out and disrespected their audiences in one way or another. And I'm sure you can name more.

//I'd prefer not to have a laundry list of names in my asks, but if you know them, you know them. Not that I'm suggesting anyone go harass them, but that we should look at their writing failures and bad behavior as cautionary tales

//Don't be like this, my dudes

#mod talks #a student out of time

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smokeybrandreviews · 2 years

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Float On

The discourse around the new Kenobi show is very interesting to me. I am a massive fan of Star Wars but i wouldn’t say it’s one of the pillars of my childhood. Those are definitely Spider-Man, Godzilla, and Transformers. Star Wars is more a support beam, along with the Alien franchise. That said, i enjoy it enough to have a pretty solid hyperfixation with the lore. All of it. Particular the Legends stuff. What i am not a fan of, is the vast majority of what Disney has farted out under Kathleen Kennedy. I enjoyed The Force Awakens, Rogue One, and came around to Solo, but the rest of the movies are dog sh*t. I respect the first season of Mando because it was the first great Disney Star Wars entry, absolutely loved the second with all the callbacks to prime can ( I shill hard for Ahsoka Tano, man), and pretty much abandoned Boba Fett early on. Those two episodes of Mando III which got forced in there were pretty dope, though. So, as you can tell, it’s been a mixed bag for me. That said, my beef with these entries are definitely not what the loudest of disgruntled Star Wars fans are screeching about.

My frustration with Disney Star Wars is how poorly this sh*t is written. There is an extreme level of disrespect that runs through the new Lucasfilm and that is directly Kennedy’s influence. She’s been trying to alter the entire canon over some perceived slight, like she doesn’t get the credit she deserves for the success of Star Wars. Ma was a glorified coffee runner when these films were created but wants to change that narrative while sticking it to Lucas for telling the truth about her role. Everything i find frustrating narrative, can be traced back to the sycophant writers, spineless directors, and dismissive attitude of Kennedy, herself. And then Favloni came through with Mando and blew everything she has ever made out of the f*cking water. Mando is so good because the narrative is f*cking solid, man. It feels complete. It feels grandiose. It feels like Star Wars. Through the first three episodes of Kenobi, i see those same bones and it weird more people aren’t on this show like i am. Now, to address the major issues I've seen the fandom grip about:

Baby Leia is great. I can totally see this girl growing up into the Leia Organa that we all know and love. The actress, Vivien Lyra Blair, is doing a great job and she’s surprisingly not annoying like most child actors. The physicality is a struggle for her but she’s nine years old. Cut the kid some goddamn slack, you degenerates. Not everyone can be Chloe Moretz or Anna Paquin.

Reva isn’t that bad but she ain’t great either. Kenobi needs this type of foil before actually completing the Hero Journey he’s on. This is a story about how Kenobi finds his faith, finds his way back to the force after literal years of abandoning it after murdering his little brother. Reva is the perfect stop-gap between Old Ben and a Punished Obi-Wan. I imagine we’ll see the change in his dueling posture in this series or some sh*t to align it closer with what we got in the original trilogy to signify his reconciliation with the past.

The broken canon can easily be fixed. I don’t care for the breaks, themselves, as much as others but with good writing and a proper understanding of the lore, this sh*t can be corrected with a one sentence reveal. The Grand Inquisitor is dead in Kenobi but alive and well in Rebels? His people have two stomachs and Dark Side wielders have survived much worse. Vader exists. That man got dismembered and burned alive. Maul cut got in half and lived for another twenty years or some sh*t. There really aren't any egregious transgressions that can't be corrected by the end of this show. Stop spazzing out about them until we know for sure if they f*cked everything up.

It makes sense Kenobi is about Kenobi’s journey back to the force and not just him being a bad ass on Tatooine. Think about where we left the character. Kenobi defeated his brother, dismembered him, watched him burn alive. The Jedi fell. All of his Masters are dead. He literally has to go into hiding. This dude has lost everything he holds dear and the only thing good in his life is Luke, some one he's not even allowed to interact with. Kenobi is a broken man here. He's not the reassured Master he is in A New Hope. Dude is pathetic. That's the point. Its absurd to me that so many people have missed that point.

Obi-Wan Kenobi is really good. It's easily one of the best things Disney Star Wars has ever produced and people are letting it fall by the wayside because of outside issues. It's a lot like Secrets of Dumbledore that. I'm not here to defend Kennedy' mess or slight the responsibility she holds for marginalizing a once beautiful franchise but Kenobi is not The Last Jedi. It's not Rise of Skywalker. It's not The High Republic or The Acolyte. Does it have it's problems? Sure. But er are three episodes into a six episode narrative and this sh*t ain't coming out of Kennedy's Writer's Room. This is Feloni and Favreu. This is the team that brought us Mando and Clone Wars. Boba Fett left us all wanting, true, but Obi-Wan is much better than that. Give the thing a chance before casting it out as “woke” and “feminist” or whatever buzzwords we're losing to denigrate sh*t out of Kennedy's Lucasfilm. Not everything is trash just because she sits in the big chair.

#Star Wars: Obi-Wan Kenobi #Kenobi #Star Wars #Lucasfilm #Some ol' bullsh*t

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the-ultimate-muses · 5 months

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@not-bcring cont. from (X)

While some often reacted to this ever rare side of Nagito with disdain, and then others still reacted with shock that such a reverent figure of 'hope' could be so disrespectful towards those he claimed to worship, Gundham (and by extent Kazuichi) always reacted with an amused huff of breath that tried so very hard to disguise itself as a scoff near every time in response to the given sass of their partner. To them, it meant that Nagito was comfortable with them, the attitude that many would see as perhaps a form of hatred or even toxicity in their relationship being anything but to the odd trio of partners. It always proved difficult to explain, not even Kazuichi or Gundham themselves able to say just how Nagito of all people managed to win their affections and bring them where they were now, but the self proclaimed overlord had and inkling of feeling that luck had something to do with it. At first he hated that he may not have been in control of his own fate, that the unseen force tugged at his and Kazuichi's strings in a puppeteer routine not even Nagito seemed to know the plot of as it twisted and and twined their lives together, but soon he realized a method to the madness, and a desire to win this cursed game of luck and misfortune had somehow turned into an affection for their wielder over time.

Perhaps he had played right into fate's plans, trying to cheat the system like he did, only to hand his heart over in the end in an inevitable checkmate, but as sleepy eyes met Nagito's stony gaze, it was a defeat he happily resigned to.

"If you wish to play such a game of chance, may I draw a hand as well?" Stepping up to Nagito, an icy hand found the lucky student's pale cheek in a gentle caress, a plan of wits playing out behind the breeder's eyes as he mentally mapped out a game of luck-based chess with fate itself. It was a favorite of his, to poke and prod at the limits of Nagito's luck in an attempt to see just what rabbit holes it might lead them down...

"My collapse has already been written in your mind as a thing of luck, which can only allow misfortune to follow it for yourself, as is the usual exchange. If you fail in getting me to hand myself over to rest, and in turn allow me to assist you to bed, then that satisfies the yang, and can only lead to a beneficial ying upon it's completion, which would no doubt come in the form of me being forced to abide to your original wishes." In other, less sleep-deprived, exhaustion riddled logic, it was a loophole that with Nagito's "failure", and therefore "misfortune" in convincing Gundham to rest, luck could only follow in that inevitably he would get his wish in the end without anything "bad" to follow.

"Though, I'm sure if Kazuichi were here, he would no doubt point out the Occam's razor of the situation in that we simply mutually agree to rest, therefore winning the game before the first pawn is played, but there is hardly any fun in that, yes?"

#muse: gundham tanaka #not-bcring

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a-sentient-horax · 7 months

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September 25, 2023

Ok, whew. Well. I'm back from my sister's wedding. It was a long weekend. Let's take it day by day:

Thursday:

Long, long 9 hour drive. Not fun, finally finished Jeanette McCurdy's biography.Great book, fantastically written. I see a lot of my mom and my sister in that book, obviously not nearly to the extent of abuse that Jeanette faced. But still, it really moved me to hear about her struggles with her family. I always loved Sam in iCarly. I wanted to be her when I was a kid, and to hear her going through her 20s with many of the same struggles I face is sort of nice.

At the wedding rehearsal, only me and one other bridesmaid showed up. I could tell my sister was panicked, and stressed. I tried my best to do that thing where you are both helpful and out of her way. I think I failed at both but I really tried.

Friday:

I started to panic a bit because I needed rest before the long wedding. Meanwhile, at my boyfriends work, shit hit the fan. I confessed to him that I was worried his flight would be very delayed and that I was panicking he wouldn't be here in time. I asked if he could try to take the earlier flight, only an hour earlier, so that I could pick him up at a reasonable time instead of around midnight, because on Saturday I had to get up at 6:00am and be going the whole day. He got mad at me, got very short and indignant. It was too much, I was already too stressed. He told me he would get an Uber and I hung up. It was just too much, I needed him to be supportive and patient, and emotionally available, at the very least to comfort me. And instead, he got mad at me. I know he felt bad but it made my stomach turn and I felt shitty all night. My boyfriend showed up at the hotel very late, I let him in. I found out later he had spent $150 on an Uber from the airport.

I am split about the Uber price, he complained about it, and I know that price frustrated him. But if he had taken the time to calm me down, or worked with me at all, I would've been able to pick him up and take him to the hotel. I hope he understands that he paid $150 because he continues to take his work anxieties out on me instead of going to a therapist, or finding ways to deal with the stress in a healthy manner.

Saturday:

Wedding day. It was a weird thing to be around my sister's mom. Here's the thing, my sister isn't really my biological sister. My dad and her mom started dating when we were young, and then they moved in together for six years during my middle/high school years. My sister and I are pretty close, but her mom was mean to me when I was a kid. Like, really mean. Unnecessarily mean. Now she acts nice and buddy-buddy, but man do I hate her. I have put my feelings aside for my sister but at some point she started trying to talk down to me in front of my boyfriend and I almost said something. I didn't though.

Was the wedding a mess? This is a question I keep asking myself. It doesn't seem fair to me. People keep asking me how I felt about the wedding, and it is complicated. For instance, I don't like her fiancé. I find him to be disrespectful to her, I dislike his attitude when he is around her, I think he doesn't put effort into their relationship. But what do I know? Like honestly, I talk to my sister, but almost never about him. I live several states away, I don't know their relationship. But I've seen what I've seen and I can't help but to have seen it. I also was part of the wedding party. From 6:00am that day until 10:00pm at night I was setting up decorations, getting my hair done, getting makeup done, helping my sister wrangle her stuff together, taking pictures, fixing her train, helping the other bridesmaids. Was the wedding a mess? I think when you are a part of the wedding, it always feels like a mess, not because it is, just because the day of the wedding requires you to get so many ducks in so many rows. There are so many game-time decisions that must get made. Who is going to get her and bring her to the chapel? Are we going to line up outside or inside? Who is going to pass out the corsages? To a normal guest, like my boyfriend, this all worked seamlessly and there were no hiccups. To the wedding party, it was just chaos.

The reception was wonderful, I'm glad I got to see my dad, his parents, and much of my sister's family that I grew up with but haven't seen in years. I really hope for the best for everyone.

Sunday:

Long drive back with my boyfriend, it was nice. We used to road trip together all the time when we were long distance. You sort of have to to see each other like that. We gambled a little bit in the morning, made it home safe by 7:00pm, I think being done with this wedding was a big relief to us both.

#journal

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thedaveandkimmershow · 1 year

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I lied to Santa.

Seriously. I lied. To Santa. I did it willingly and willfully, fully understanding what I was doing. And I lied my little liar pants off, year after year through grade school right up until my dad blew the lid off the whole Santa thing. So. The question was:

“Have you been a good boy, this year?”

And the answer I always gave was “Yes, Santa.” Lie. “Have you been a good boy this year?” “Yes, Santa.” Lie. “Aaaaaand I’ll just bet you’ve been a very good boy this year.” “Yes, Santa. I have. I have.” Lie again. I was shameless. Shameless… because in reality, there was plenty of objective evidence to demonstrate that I was not, in fact, a good boy. Even I couldn’t miss it. For one thing, I lied about stuff sometimes. Pretty sure that behavior doesn’t show up on the Nice List. For another, I sucked at paying attention. Had the diagnosis existed at the time, I woulda been tagged A.D.H.D.. At one point, my scout leader told my mom I was hyperactive… snd boy was she pissed. Not at him for saying it… but at me for being it. Again… not on the Nice List. In school, there were people I made fun of… not a Nice List move. There were people I ignored. I hauled off and hit one of my classmates with my lunch box one time. I tripped people sometimes… or gave them flats. I was sent to the principal’s office a bunch. I talked while the teacher was talking. I didn’t do, exactly, all of my homework. I disrespected certain teachers and authorities. I had an attitude which, as it turns out, blossomed in Junior High when my Algebra teacher’d give me an “A” for my academics but a “C” for my so-called “citizenship”. Yeah. Did. Not. Care. I drove at least two of my teachers at Lawton Elementary to distraction. They actually lost it and yelled at me. At home, I was subject to groundings and no-TV days and weeks as a result of various misbehaviors. I don’t know how often those punishments came up, but again… These were not the behaviors of a Nice List denizen. On top of all that, there were any number of good kids I could look at and decide for myself. Was I like them? Nope. Did I care? Again... nope. Yeah. I wasn’t a good boy. At least… not by Santa’s standards. Not by Christmas standards. Not by academic standards. And so I lied relentlessly to Santa every. single. year. Interestingly, it didn’t occur to me until my adultier adult years that if there really was a Naughty or Nice list, if Santa really did know if I’d been bad or good… Then why the heck did he even bother asking me? He coulda just waved me off before I even got close to the Big Chair and said “Forget it, Ris, try again next year.” That, actually, would’ve made more sense to me. Instead, he asked, I lied, and come Christmas morning Lo and Behold… There were presents under the tree… For me. Of course, there wasn’t really a Santa Claus. It was my parents the whole time. My parents, who actually did know whether I’d been bad, when I’d been bad, and how often.

Had I known they were in charge of Christmas presents from the start… I probably would’ve written off getting any presents at all. Like, ever. Instead, the gifts showed up faithfully. Every year. Good ones, too. Great ones. And I did not deserve a single one. Since Santa’s list is so obviously based on merit, yeah. I didn’t deserve any of these wonderful (and wonderfully wrapped) gifts. It’s definitely, in retrospect, a master class in grace. Giving me what I didn’t deserve. Now, of course my parents weren’t pushovers. They were a pretty strict pair with definite ideas about my education and how I should be spending my time. They were generous, yes. But it was still their house, still their rules. And every Christmas, they blew me away. Only, for a very long time, I thought it was Santa.

#Christmas #Christmastime #holidays #Santa #love #grace #gifts #peace #family #parental units #naughty or nice list #ADHD

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smokeybrand · 2 years

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Float On

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sassyabbs · 3 years

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hi bestie, feel like writing a Fred hc? maybe how he would react to his sub trying to dom him?

Smut headcanons: Fred Weasley's sub tries to dominate him.

[Notes: oh Lord, you made my imagination fly so fast that I-

Btw, stimulating lubricant is inspired by stimulating gels, try them.

So let me know if you liked and it's what you have been thinking ;) that's for you all, and also tell me if there something wrong with the grammar, English isn't my first language and if forgot some tw ]

TW: NSFW CONTENT!, dom! Fred, sub! reader dirty talk, bondage, waxplay, overstimulation, denied orgasm, cumplay, crying, use of stimulating products, mentions of the war and accidents, subs training, oral sex (female receiving) and someone grabs the other by the neck but it's not suffocation (I think that's it).

Fred Weasley was a simple man, he knew what he liked and was attached to it. There were limits that weren't written, but that he had clear in his mind. Things that he for practicality he didn't bother to try, knowing himself as he knows himself, he knew he wouldn't like them.

As well the things that he loved were his safe place, like the joke shop he built with his brother, his mother's food and intimacy with you.

Your relationship was everything that Fred needed after the war. After the accident he had in the battle of Hogwarts when a wall almost crushed him, but luckily he only hurt his foot, he had a long time recovering. And having you by his side, following his orders as if you were the goodest girl in the world was comforting to him.

Your sex life took a deeper direction 3 months after you two became official. Everything was playful and passionate but then, one day you were telling him that you were just about to come and he demanded "Hold it up, babe, you don't have my permission" while keeping you all over the edge.

It was certainly unexpected, but you both had time to explore each other, build trust and try all the things that now were part of your daily sex life.

However switch your roles was never one of the things that you both have tried. It was always him with his hoarse voice ordering and demanding as he pleased and you following his wishes.

So it was a surprise to him when you interrupted his order to undress to tell him that this time you were the one in charge.

At first he laughed, incredulity palpable in his tone and the tautness of his shoulders.

"Good joke, puppet, do you want a kiss as a reward for thinking something so funny? Is this your way of trying to impress me?"

Of course, he started to get angry when you say that you weren´t joking.

He was the dom and you were the sub, why that would change?

He licked his lips and crossed his arms, rubbing himself a little when you didn´t stop.

"Stop this tantrum now, only brats do things like this and I have trained you well."

Part of him was wondering if you really wanted to switch roles, but you would have said your safe word if that was the case, or it had been spoken before. But it wasn't like that, so you were just being a brat, which infuriated him.

Of course, you didn´t stop provoking him.

That´s when he couldn´t control himself anymore. He walked to you, tall and intimidating thanks to his angry face, and grabed your neck to put your face in front of his.

"You want a punishiment? all right, that´s what you´re gonna get."

He led you by his grip on your neck to the bed, it didn't take much for him to bend you over the edge and give you the first slap on your butt.

"You know, you don´t expect this attitude from the pup that you´ve been taking care of all this time, but I guess I can remind you your place."

He spanked your ass some more with your clothes on, until he got tired of the fabric cushioning his hand and made it disappear with his wand.

He also took advantage of the moment and cast a spell to tie you up, so you had no escape and the hand on your neck disappeared.

"There and just like this is were you belong."

He stared at your red cheeks, his erection pulse in his pants at the sight, his anger lowering just enough for him to think what would be the next step.

The answer came from his pocket, he had designed lubricants and this one in particular was finished. He had brought it to talk about it, but now it seemed like a good time to use it wih you.

"Brats like you don´t deserve my time but I´ve got this lube that I´ve designed for you. It will make you feel warm and it will stimulate you almost to your orgasm, do you wanna use it in your punishment? Yes or no, are the only good answers."

You said yes, and with your consent he lubricated your entire area, without bothering to give you pleasure, and then put two digits in your entrance. The teasing about how wet you were beforehand was not long in coming.

Fred was starting to enjoy the punishment, now that he had calmed down, but there was one thing that he knew and it was that you were not cumming tonigh.

You ruined the scene tonight, disrespected him and continued to give him a bad attitude despite his warnings, this had to be something you regretted.

When you started to feel the stimulation from the lube, Fred laughed and spread your legs and ordered to keep them open "just as they should always be for him."

He stared at your pussy with a devil grint, knowing that it wouldn't take to much for you to start crying and moaning for his permission to cum. It would be great when he denied you.

He also decided that he could add something else to it, to make the matter more interesting. He fetched one of the red candles that you kept on the nightstand, lit it, and prepared to stain your entire back with it.

Meanwhile you were suffering the lube a little too much more than you expected. It was warm and it made you try to touch yourself to ease some of the pain. You even thought you could just come from that, but it always left you there, on the edge.

He warned you from the wax, and when you didn't say your safe word, instead you moaned loudly, he let a couple hot drops on your ass. Now you felt a little overwhelmed, but it was so good that it almost put you in sub space.

He unbuttoned his pants and released his erection, sat next to your body on the bed and jerked into a tight fist while painting your back.

When you couldn't keep you legs open from the overstimulation, he summoned two soft ropes and tied your legs to the bedposts, keeping them separate.

Now a couple of tears were gathering in your eyes and Fred held back his words of comfort, but he put down the candle and stroked your hair until the last stains of wax dried. It was a punishment, he could 't spoil you more than he already did, he couldn't stop punishing you for a few tears, damn you had not even said your word to stop, you were clearly handling it well.

"You look beautiful like this, too bad you made me so mad just to get this, puppet."

He positioned himself behind you and entered you with a long, deep thrust. He kept pushing, slowly so that you couldn't come and the excitement only accumulated in your belly.

"I took care of you so well, puppet, I tied you with precious knots, I ripped you orgasms one after the other, I devoured your little pussy everytime but you were a brat today, so this is your punishment. I decided that you can't come tonight, after what you did I want you to regret it and remember it and not try again. Now say you understand it."

After you could match the words in your mouth between moans, Fred accelerated his thrusts but he came out of you and let his climax paint on the wax of your ass before you could even think of cumming without his permission.

"Well that's a really good view isn't it?"

And it was, your skin was red from the spanks, then the wax of the same color dripped from your cheeks to the beginning of your thighs and Fred's white stripes on top of it all made a memorable image.

After that, he untied your bindings and wiped the wax off your back, but let the remnant of the lube stay inside you.

"You better not cum while you're sleeping, pup." He said before hugging you and start the aftercare.

"That was amazing babe, I'm sorry that you have to feel like that now, but is part of your punishment."

#harry potter #fred weasley #fred wealsey fic #fred weasley hc #fred weasly x reader #fred weasley smut #fred weasley headcanons #dom fred Weasley #hp headcanon

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kai-keda · 2 years

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Monkie Kid fandom PLEASE stop calling the English version of Lego Monkie Kid a dub!

I understand it’s confusing because sometimes the dubs for China come out first and sometimes the English version comes out first and it’s all really inconsistent but it is an indisputable FACT that the English version is the ORIGINAL CAST and the script is written IN ENGLISH FIRST

It is disrespectful to refer to the English version as a dub out of anything but genuine ignorance caused by the confusing release. If you know it is not a dub and that the voice acting is pre-lay work and written in English first and STILL call it a dub because “English Version of Asian Focused Property = Dub” then I’m going to have to assume that you are doing such out of that old and outdated elitist attitude from anime fans of past (and some present) that English Dubs are inherently lesser.

Calling something a name that it is factually not while KNOWING that that is not what it is called is disrespectful in every shape and form. Even if your excuse is as innocent as “Well I’m used to calling it this so I’m not even gonna bother to correct it lol” it is still disrespectful.

Words have meaning. You can’t suddenly change what a word means to suit your own wants. That is NOT how language works and before anyone says it, it is NOT the same as when language evolves over time due to cultural and historical reasoning.

What I am talking about is outright using a word objectively incorrectly.

It is disrespectful both to the voice actors who recognize that there is a difference between working with pre-lay and working with dubbing but I believe it is even MORE disrespectful to the writing staff.

They wrote this series in English first. THEIR script is the original intention for the show. THEY are the ones who put so much time, resources and effort to make it the best story possible. INCLUDING HAVING A TEAM OF CHINESE SENSITIVITY READERS! The documentary SHOWED US that they had people looking over the scripts and characters and turned down at LEAST two drafts of the first special.

They are not translating a script that was already written and localizing said translation. That is a totally different set of skills and work. Have respect for the people who ARE translating and localizing the script AND the one’s who write the original script by NOT mixing up the two.

I know I’m coming off as angry here but I’m getting frustrated. People will claim to have read the Sean Schemmel interview where he made it clear that he gets peeved by people calling it a dub and that dubbing is different from pre-lay and still make no effort to stop calling it that.

I have had people GENUINELY SAY TO ME when I correct them that “Saying dub is shorter and easier” as if that excuses USING THE WEONG TERM.

Again - words have MEANING!

By doing things like that you are perpetuating the idea that the show is made in Chinese first and so their script should be treated as the original and criticisms against the English version should be based on differences with it.

By all means, criticize the English script if there genuinely is something you feel the script should be criticized. Comparing it to the dubs is also fair if you want to use one of the dubs as an example along the lines of ‘the writing staff could have done this instead, which is better.’ But I have seen fully earnest commentary complaining about the English version and calling it a bad dub based on not being faithful to the original script. These people genuinely thought/think the English version is a translated dub because of the people who refuse to change one stupid word out of laziness at best and straight up disrespect at worst.

To be absolutely clear, I am not taking about people who DO make an effort to fix it and take being corrected with grace. I am not talking about the people who simply do not know. I am not talking about the people who assumed the Chinese dubs were the original due to the weird release and how much it feels like a cartoon that was made by Chinese writers who grew up with and love the culture and JTTW. I am not talking about the people who criticized the English version for being ‘unfaithful to the original’ because that was due to innocent ignorance.

All of these are understandable! I get it! The first hint I got that it was produced entirely in English first was from seeing a few clips from the Chinese dubs and realizing that the lip-sync wasn’t lined up AFTER having already binged what was available to me at the time in English. Before then I genuinely had no clue which it was.

I’m not upset at the people who didn’t know or are making an effort to stick to the truth of the matter.

I’m frustrated with the people who argue that they should be allowed to call it a dub on the basis of ‘they want to’.

I’m mad at the concept of “English Version of Asian Focused Property = Dub” that this perpetuates.

#lego Monkie kid #I’m nervous that this post is gonna get some hate #but it honestly needs to be said #and my occasional post that are simply something like #LMK Fandom Stop Calling the English Version a Dub 2022 #clearly aren’t getting through to people how this isn’t a simple semantics issue #this isn’t a potato potAHto situation #this is straight up using incorrect language and causing bad faith commentary to sprout from it #as well as disrespect for artists #and I know there are people who will want to argue with me because they don’t like me #I know there are people in this fandom specifically who do not like me #but your reasons for disliking me are neither here nor there #if this coming from anybody else would have gotten through to you #then don’t try to make it about my attitude or what I’m saying

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n1kolaiz · 3 years

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The Six Realms

Okay, so I was pretty close to giving up on writing analyses but I'm back LMFAO plus I see we're close to 100 followers and I just want to thank you guys for being so very supportive <3

Alright, I'm not sure if anyone's ever written about this, but if an analysis like this exists, please do let me know because I'm kind of curious as to what other people think about this, too!

Remember that time Fukuchi spoke about bringing "about the five signs of an angel's death"?

I read a little bit more about it, and as a minor content warning: this analysis will focus on a few religious aspects (Buddhism + Hinduism). So if I get any of the facts wrong, firstly: I do not mean any disrespect to either religion, and secondly: please do correct me if I interpret anything in the wrong way.

Spoilers for BSD chapter 90 onwards + BEAST!AU under the cut!

So I'll start by talking about the Decay of Angels. As we all know, the members include Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Sigma, and Bram Stoker, and their leader, Fukuchi Ochi. After Fyodor's arrest, the Decay of Angels came into light with Nikolai murdering four government officials in a week. These murders symbolise the Buddhist cycle of existence, or otherwise known as samsara: the cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

"We are the Decay of Angels—hiding here as terrorists, a 'murder association', five people who will announce the demise of the celestial world."

Nikolai Gogol, chapter 57

Samsara is described to be a concept beyond human understanding. According to Hinduism, samsara is the physical world where every being has its soul trapped into a physical vessel. The Hindus believe that everything has a soul, and due to a soul's attachment to desire, it is forced into a deathless cycle of being born, dying, and reincarnating into a different body. In Buddhism, the ultimate way to break free from this cycle is by obtaining nirvana.

Nirvana is a Sanskrit word for the goal of the Buddhist path: enlightenment or awakening. In Pali, the language of some of the earliest Buddhist texts, the word is nibbana; in both languages it means "extinction" (like a lamp or flame) or "cessation." It refers to the extinction of greed, ill will, and delusion in the mind, the three poisons that perpetuate suffering. Nirvana is what the Buddha achieved on the night of his enlightenment: he became completely free from the three poisons. Everything he taught for the rest of his life was aimed at helping others to arrive at that same freedom.

- TRICYCLE'S definition of nirvana

As Fukuchi mentions in the panel above, there are six different realms of existence. These realms represent every possible state of existence, but one cannot live in a specific realm forever. Depending on whether or not one's past actions were morally good or bad, an individual is born into one of these realms. Basically, the controlling factor of which realm a person is born into is dependent on their respective karma. The realms are separated into two categories: the hellish ones and the heavenly ones.

The Deva Realm: where beings are rewarded for the good deeds they have done. This realm is void of anything unpleasant. It is basically paradise— empty of unfulfilled desires, any form of suffering, and fears of every kind. Religious individuals, however, do not seek to be born into this realm since its attitude is more or less carefree.

The Asura Realm: where demigods are admitted. Asuras are driven by greed and envy, and may come in conflict with human beings since they are quite similar. They are powerful beings, but quarrel with each other quite a bit, making this realm quite undesirable to be reborn into.

The Animal Realm: where beings are given the form of an animal (you probably guessed that lol). Individuals here don't actually have good karma to take pride in, but rather, they are born into this realm to work off their bad karma (by being slaughtered, hunted, or forced to work, etc). Being born into this realm forces one to atone for their past sins by living out their life as an animal.

The Hell Realm: where one is punished for their evil actions. The most merciless of realms, where one pays for their transgressions through pure suffering, methods of which include: dismemberment, starvation, and psychological/physical torture. However, once a person's term is fulfilled in this realm, they are presumably promised to be reborn into a higher state.

The Preta Realm: similar to the hell realm, in which beings pay for their past sins (specifically: greed and stinginess) by having to survive through hunger and thirst. This realm is also known as the 'ghost realm,' because some pretas are psychologically tortured by being forced to live in places their past selves have lived in. They are invisible to human beings living at that time, which pushes them to face the depths of despair and loneliness. Your typical horror movie, really.

The Human Realm: the only realm where one's actions determine their future. The status (social ranking, physical wellbeing, and so on) of a human being in this realm is determined by their past actions, but due to the fact that a person has their own conscience to differentiate good morals from bad, the actions they commit in this realm have the power to determine which realm they are sent to next.

Okay, so now that I've got that out of the way, let's shift our focus to the Book. Very little is known about the Book, but the basic fundamentals of how it works is that whatever is written in the book will come into existence only if its contents follow the rules of karma. In addition to that, only a few sentences can be written into a single page of the Book, and it must follow the current narrative of the story.

If I'm not wrong, the first time the Book was mentioned was by Fitzgerald, who wanted it to resurrect his deceased daughter in hopes of restoring his wife's mental health. The next time the Book is brought up is when Fyodor's intentions to possess it are divulged; his goal was to decimate the global population of ability-users. And now, the current arc has the Book as its central focus, with a single page in Fukuchi's possession.

[ BEAST!AU spoilers ]

The Book acts as the central point of multiverses, with each character's lives differing from universe to universe.

Dazai committing suicide in this alternate universe stands in sharp contrast with how he decided to start up a new life in the main universe.

Oda staying alive to act as a mentor to Akutagawa in the ADA differs from how Oda uses his death to prompt Dazai to "be on the side that saves people."

And of course, the way Atsushi and Akutagawa have their positions switched in the two universes depicts how different their lives would be if they were given the chance to be mentored by different people— these are just a few examples of how the Book houses an endless amount of possibilities.

[ end of BEAST!AU spoilers ]

Hypothetically speaking, this kind of reminds me of the differing realms I mentioned before, where suffering is promised in some realms, and better things are granted in the rest, depending on one's karma, or the deeds they've done in their past lives. In this scenario, perhaps one's past life can be understood as one's current life in a different universe. That's just a personal opinion though. Take it as you will.

side note: Keep in mind that the person who is more or less impervious to the Book's effect is Dazai, with his nullification ability. I wouldn't want to propose any theories in this aspect (I don't believe I'm fully fact-checked ;_;), but I could use Dazai as a raw example of how your choices affect your future. If Dazai had decided to stay in the Port Mafia after Oda's death, or if he even decided to go through with his suicidal fixations, life would've been different for him in the root universe (obviously, ryley) I mean, you could basically understand that from how he ended up in the BEAST au, but imagine if he really did slip up in his decision-making in any of the universes.

Many analysts have proposed that he went MIA (early in his life) from the main universe for a while to figure out how the BEAST universe worked, whilst having the Book to his advantage. Perhaps his actions were guided? I'm not saying he's all-knowing, but he's sure as hell smart. I'm not sure if Kafka was trying to highlight the concept of karma when it comes to Dazai, but if he is, then I suppose you could say that Dazai is pretty much unaffected by the rules of karma, existing as the centerpiece of all the multiverses. No Longer Human is the namesake of his ability, but the book talks about disqualification from societal norms and generally, the world. I was talking about it with a friend, and they reminded me that Yozo (the main protagonist) was pretty strong in his views against society. Like he didn't speak out of total defeat, he spoke out of defense. If there was anything Dazai actually lost to, it was his guilt— "Living itself is a source of sin."

Then again, that's my personal interpretation since everyone has their unique perspective of his writings. In terms of the actual adaptation, you could translate the word 'disqualification' to 'insusceptibilty' when if it came to the Book's effects on Dazai? This side note is becoming really long lmao anyways I'll link a few theories which afflicted me with brainrot down below.

Another thing before I wrap up, the name 'Decay of Angels' stemmed from Yukio Mishima's book entitled 'The Decay of An Angel.' This is the final novel to the author's tetralogy: 'The Sea of Fertility.' The main protagonist, Honda, meets a person he believes to be a reincarnation of his friend, Kiyoaki, who takes the form of a young teenage boy named Tōru. The last novel of this series enhances Mishima's dominant themes of the series as a whole:

the decay of courtly tradition in Japan

the essence and value of Buddhist philosophy and aesthetics

Mishima’s apocalyptic vision of the modern era

Again, this could be referred to what Fukuchi goes on to say:

Some people view the concept of samsara optimistically, justifying it by saying that perhaps each individual is given a second (third, fourth, fifth, who knows) chance to refine their actions in order to be birthed into a better realm, with their karma being the independent variable.

On the other hand, other people, specifically the Hindus, view the cycle of existence as some sort of plague. To them, the flow of life and being forced to endure the suffering of mere existence in any form was somewhat frowned down upon. Some Hindus viewed samsara as a trap. Besides, having one's soul being limited to a physical body for the rest of eternity was not very appealing, especially since where they ended up at depended on the karmic value their past actions surmounted.

Even so, particular types of Buddhists don't seek nirvana, but instead, like the Hindus, they make an effort to be good people of society, building up their good deeds to increase the likelihood of being reborn into one of the better realms.

As mentioned before, the Deva Realm was the home of angels, the most carefree, gratified beings to exist. Fukuchi describes these angels as the people who don't get their hands dirty, the people who act as the puppeteers of society: politicians.

In terms of parallels, angels were the most fortunate and powerful, but they didn't have anyone ruling over them. A lack of supervision would lead to the abuse of power, which is what I believe Fukuchi was referring to. Deeming himself the Decay of Angels, he sought to prove himself as the 'sign of death that falls on the nation's greed.'

A few fun facts (okay, not really) about Yukio Mishima: he committed seppuku (ritual suicide by disembowelment) on the day he held a speech to voice out his unpopular political beliefs to the public. Mishima deeply treasured traditions and opposed the modern mindset the nation was advancing forward to adapt eventually. In his last book, The Decay of an Angel, he spoke about the five signs which complete the death of an angel:

Here are the five greater signs: the once-immaculate robes are soiled, the flowers in the flowery crown fade and fall, sweat pours from the armpits, a fetid stench envelops the body, the angel is no longer happy in its proper place.

The Decay of an Angel, p.53

The reviews about this series I've read so far describe Mishima's works to be quite complex; his writings demanded a lot of time to deconstruct and understand. They were highly symbolic, and he was pretty obsessed with death and the 'spiritual barrenness of the modern world.' I think you could attach a few strings from here to the mindsets of the DOA members. Of course, this parallel is completely abstract, but I'll go on rambling anyway:

He should have armed them with the foreknowledge that would keep them from flinging themselves after their destinies, take away their wings, keep them from soaring, make them march in step with the crowd. The world does not approve of flying. Wings are dangerous weapons. They invite self-destruction before they can be used. If he had brought Isao to terms with the fools, then he could have pretended that he knew nothing of wings.

The Decay of an Angel, p.113

I suppose you could resonate Nikolai with that excerpt. As much as Fukuchi takes the lead in this whole murder association, I'd like to believe that each member of the DOA plays an equally interesting part in whatever movement they're trying to execute. Fyodor feels it is his god-sent purpose to cleanse the world of its sins, his motto being, "Let the hand of God guide you." Sigma doesn't know where he belongs, since his origination comes from a page in the Book, and is fueled by the desperation to find a reason to live. Bram holds one of the most powerful abilities which is counted to be one of the "Top Ten Calamities to Destroy the World."

What I mean to say is that the DOA members are incredibly powerful, and they're not your ordinary antagonists (or I'm just biased). It's not just overthrowing authorities, mass genocide, and world domination— you could say that each individual is trying to utilize their purposes to their fullest expenditures, and the way they're trying to assert their plan into action is a little more passive-aggressive (framing the Agency, having a convo with a suicidal dude in jail, etc). They're the gray area between evil and good. As they framed the good guys for their own crimes, they're trying to conquer the bad guys for exploiting the innocent as they please.

This post would definitely age well if all hell breaks loose in the current arc (as if it didn't) and Kafka doesn't give us a happy ending.

That's all I have to say for now I guess! Thank you for reading, and once again, if anyone else something they wanna share, feel free to do so <3

sources (tryna follow Q's example ^_^) :

the six realms

samsara

the decay of angels

beast!au

the book

the sea of fertility

yukio mishima

theory: dazai’s emotional/mental state in beast!au

q’s theory: dazai being the protector of the book

theory: beast!dazai and the book

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fangirlsmood · 3 years

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Tomioka Giyuu x reader - inferiority complex

Summary : Noticing how Giyuu doesn't know his own worth, you try to remedy his inferiority complex.

Warnings : Spoilers about Giyuu’s past.

author notes : Seeing our little Giyuu blame and put himself down breaks my heart, it's time for someone to comfort him and tell him what an amazing person he is.

_ Tomioka-san !

Hearing your voice, Giyuu stopped in his walk and turned to you, nodding his head to greet you. You noticed that he was holding a bunch of papers, probably a mission report he had to return to Oyakata-sama.

_ You’re already back ! After filing your report, would you accept ...

_ No.

_ But...

You've been begging him for a while to train you. He had saved you a few months ago from a demon and since then you had only one wish: to become like him. You were infinitely grateful to him and you were so admiring. Not really knowing how to fight but wanting to be useful you had started to help at the Butturfly estate. However you wanted to do more, you wanted to save people before they could get hurt like Giyuu had done for you.

_ Ask another person.

_ Kocho-san is already taking care of Kanao, Rengoku of his little brother ... Everyone else is too busy to spend time with me. I want you to train me... please.

He looked you straight in the eye for a moment then sighed, unable to resist your perseverence :

_ Fine. I will train you but don't expect me to be a good teacher.

Since that day Giyuu trained you every time he return from a mission. You couldn't be happier. The training was difficult, tiring and sometimes painful but for you it was an honor. Even if he didn’t said it Giyuu was proud to see your progress. Besides, it was nice for him to have company.

•••••••••••

One day, at the end of a hashira meeting, Rengoku came to approach him.

_ Tomioka ! We don't see much anymore (Y/n) at the Butterfly estate. I heard that you train her.

He nodded, Rengoku let out one of his loud laughs :

_ It's surprising ! I had offered to train her but she had refused. Is she doing well?

_ She’s not bad.

It was surprising indeed. You told him that no one was available to train you and he learned it was a lie. Why had you been lying to him? He didn't understand what you could gain from it.

••••••••••

That night he found you serving dinner for both of you like you did almost every day since you had become his student.

_ Welcome home ! How was the meeting ?

_ Good.

His gaze immediately made you uncomfortable. Usually he always gave you a warm look, while now he was looking at you coldly, as if he had difficulty recognizing you. He took a seat in front of you and began to eat. After a heavy silence which weighed on him as well as on you, he decided to speak :

_ Why did you lie to me ?

You did not remember having committed such an act against him. Seeing your confused stare he developed his point :

_ Rengoku told me he offered to train you. Why did you tell me that no one has time for you ?

You didn't think he would find out someday. Nothing in his attitude or his voice let show anger but you knew he was necessarily upset. Giyuu was a man of his word and honor, for him a lie was a lack of respect. You were terribly ashamed, however, you manage to stammer an explanation :

_ Oh ! It’s not what you think ! In fact it is but... I mean I didn’t really thought about it... Believe me it was far from my intentions to disrespect you, I would have never offended you on purpose ! I just... I just wanted to be trained by you.

_ Rengoku is a really good and strong man. You should have accepted his proposal.

He marked a pause.

_ Go back to him, if you ask him I think his offer still stands.

Was Giyuu denying you? Did he no longer want you as a student? He got up and turned his back to you as if to end this discussion but you got up in turn, you wanted to stay by his side:

_ I don’t want anyone else to train me !

_ It would be better for you. He will be able to take care of you and make you evolve.

Suddenly you realized what was going on. Giyuu thought Rengoku was a better hashira than him. Didn't he know how strong he was too? You stood in front of him so you could look him in the eye, so he would know you weren't lying :

_ You’re strong too. And you’re a good professor.

_ You don’t know what you’re talking about. I am stronger than you that’s all.

_ You’re a hashira ! You’re one of the strongest !

He lowered his head you saw in his eyes, him who was usually so impassive, a hint of sadness.

_ I don't deserve this title. I shouldn't be there.

_ What do you mean ?

You noticed that his hands tightened on his haori.The words struggled out of his throat, as if part of him wanted to hold them back while another wanted to get them out :

_ Those who owned the two parts of this haorie should be there, they should be alive. Them, not me.

It was the first time Giyuu had talked about his past. You kept silent, you didn't want to rush him. You just wanted to understand him, reassure him, make him feel surrounded.

_ (Y/n)... I know you admire me and it's nice to have someone so dedicated by my side but you don't know everything. You idealize me. I am not a strong. I am not a good person.

One of his hand clenched the red part of his haorie :

_ I wasn’t strong enough to protect my sister...

His other hand clenched on the other part :

_ I shouldn't have passed the Demon Slayer exam ... Sabito should have, he was much stronger, much better in everything, but he protected me and it cost him his life.

You were speechless. Knowing that Giyuu, who was so generous, strong and usually impassive, had suffered so much broke your heart. You wanted to cry for him but you knew it would only cause drama. You will cry another day, now you needed to cheer up your beloved master.

_ Rengoku will know how to protect you, you will be safe with him.

••••••••••

The next morning Giyuu couldn't find you anywhere. He assumed you had chosen to join Rengoku. He was sure it was the best option and it suited him for the moment. He felt ridiculous for confiding in you last night, and was too embarrassed to see you again. Nevertheless he had become so used to your presence that he already missed you. Part of him regretted telling you to leave.

Fortunately you came back little less than a month after your departure and with a surprise. You ran to him yelling a "tomioka-san" as a greeting before handing him a package. A little taken aback he examined it for a moment. Impatient you pressed him a little :

_ It's a gift for you! Open it !

He followed your instructions and found a nice little bundle of papers taht were of different sizes and different colors. The writings and the ink used were also diverse. You started to explain nervously :

_ I wanted you to know how amazing you are, so I asked the hashira, your old master and a few of the people you saved to write down what they liked about you or what you had did good for them ... Oyakata-sama and Gyomei-san could’nt write but they dictated to me and I transcribed everything ... I didn't think it would take so long to contact everyone, sorry ...

He had already started to read. Everyone had written something even Obanai, Sanemi and Shinobu had found a few nice things to say. Shinobu had recounted a mission accomplished with Giyuu and admitted that without him it would have been a failure while Obanai and Sanemi were content to write a single sentence where they said that Giyuu was not "that bad" and that "some of these techniques were quite impressive". Urokodaki gently reprimand him so that he would stop always blaming himself and telling him that he was proud of him.

And finally there was your letter. It was the longest and as he read it he wanted to cry with joy. He wondered what he had done to deserve so much praise, he wanted to deny all these compliments but you had written a real reasoning full of examples to support your words that he was obliged to recognize his qualities.

He felt his heart melt. it must have taken so much effort from you to collect all these little words, it was a real treasure that you had just offered him. You watched him silently in his reading which lasted a long time and since he didn't say anything you wondered if it was really a good idea :

_ Erm... Do you like it ? It's okay if you don't, but keep them anyway. That way you could always reread them when you needed to ... you know ... know how amazing you are.

A smile covered his face and you noticed that his eyes were bright like a child who discovers the world. His smile was so faint you might not have noticed though it was the sweetest you've ever seen.

_ Thank you. It's the nicest thing anyone's done for me. It must have taken a lot of effort from you to convince Obanai, Sanemi and Kocho and put it all together.

_ You deserve all the effort in the world.

You gave him a huge smile and he believed you. He felt all the weight he had on his heart, all his guilt shut up in the face of all these kind words. For the first time Giyuu told himself not only that he was lucky to have you by his side but also that he deserved to be happy. Every time he read one of the letters he said to himself, although it was still hard for him not to doubt it, that he was worthy. More than feeling worthy, he felt loved.

••••••••••

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