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#guess what i found out tonight #yeah #there's literally a social media website built into EPIC #wtf #nursing #nursing memes #nurse life #medical humor

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I have gotten to the point that I've stopped packing lunches cause I know I'm not going to have the time to take a lunch

#also had to pee since 2130 #luckily the urge went away at 0000 #which is good because that's about when i got my admit and shit spread even thinner lol #nursing #nursing memes #nurse life

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#well if we don't have a three-way stat-lock #and you don't need the temp probe #we can make it work #right? #right?? #nursing #nursing memes #nurse life #medical humor

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#im so happy to be here! #these are tears of joy #i promise! #nursing #nursing memes #nurse life #medical humor

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#update on that shift: #I ended up taking the 6 most critical patients and charge took the 6 more stable patients #we did have another nurse for a bit but then we sent her down to the ER so #spent most of my shift paging gen med trying to get them to do something about the lady with 30s HR and temps of 34.8 #(spoiler: they didn't)

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you know you're good at your job when every single person tells you "thank god you're back"

#i can top that i WRITE fanfiction on the clock #also one of my coworker's friends apparently has read my stuff going way back #scary

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be nice to your liver tho or you'll end up on my floor!

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yep. that's me. the only person on the schedule.

night 3 of 4 is lookin a little rough....

#better get my extra strong coffee ready #god damn im gonna hurt by 7am #nursing #nursing memes

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WAIT PEOPLE ON TUMBLR ARE REAL FUCKING PEOPLE

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was reminded of something that happened last week at work.

having just finished my admission and med pass, charge texts me with the following:

"I'm sorry but you're next up for an admit, you'll be getting 12 from the ER."

she follows this up with:

"Official diagnosis is penis problem"

now little bit of explanation here, when the automated text for the charge gets sent out, if the patient doesn't have an active principal hospital problem, the diagnosis is populated from the triage nurse's notes.

however, I do wish I worked with a few more queer folks because I had to stop my fingers from responding with "Level 2A packer incident."

#this is also why i work nightshift #HR sleeps #so the work group chats are much funnier #transgender #transmasc #nursing #nursing memes #medical humor #nurse life

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We had a patient last night who was a textbook case of electrolytes imbalance as a result of nausea and vomiting. And I didn’t say this to the patient because I didn’t think they’d appreciate it, but it’s kinda great when the way you are so so sick is like exactly like the textbooks say it’ll be. Like not good that you’re having sudden new onset muscle weakness and tingling, but buddy this is gonna get sorted out with an efficiency you won’t believe. We fixed like 85% of the stuff wrong with this patient by midnight and we marveled the whole time about how this patient was seemingly concocted in a lab so I could walk my trainee through a highly manageable crisis

#its incredible how easily fixable some things are #and amazing to watch the pt just bounce back #the number of pts we start on a fluid bolus and it fixes their low BP and dehydration is crazy

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sorry pharma/dental students, tell me in the tags, and sorry for lumping together pharmDs, dentists and anyone else i might be missing, tumblr has a limited number of poll options and i wanted to include "other/see results" lol also, put in the tags why or why not

#I avoid telling people when I'm a patient #both because it sets expectations and biases in the minds of providers and nurses that are caring for me #but also because I feel like we get treated differently and that's not fair to myself or other patients #I've heard stories of nurses or doctors neglecting do do pt education with healthcare professionals because 'they should already know' #listen bucko my specialty is med surge #i know jack fuck about obgyn #or GI

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vote on your braggable nursing talent that you can't tell anyone because they won't listen!

Sometimes I want to tell people, “You think that’s cool? I can completely change a diaper and a bed in less than 10 mins with a two hundred pound sedated person still in aforementioned bed.”

#mine is getting people to poop

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Managers be like:

#i say as a write this #from the hospital down a bunch of nurses #they were actually so short they added an inventive to pick up tonight lol #nursing #nursing memes #nurse life #medical humor

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normalize gay nurses.

#i is hiding #but also not really #or at all actually #nursing #queer

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lol myself and most of my coworkers looks sleep deprived. the only slaying we're doing is being slain by overtime.

So in nursing school do they tell you that you have to have bleach blonde hair and shitty eyelash extensions to get your license or something? Or do these bitches actually think they're slaying?

#working 53 hours in 4 days will do that to you lol

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#i swear they're just going to keep settling out of court for wrongful death #rather than giving us the staff to prevent falls #they want us to do purposeful rounding every hour #on NIGHT SHIFT #not only is that a terrible idea for anyone getting any sleep #but also none of us have the time for that shit #not with six acutely ill patients #nursing #nursing memes #nurse life #medical humor