#that means its not about maintaining an illusion. its about maintaining power over your life. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spilledreality · 1 year

Text

A New Star in the Sky

Previously. And music to set the mood.

“Happiness is simple.” Happiness is a kind of resting protocol, an equilibrium that feels like it’ll last forever, a giddy absence of worry Every mood is this way, reified as eternal, naturalized as objective—hence depressive ontology and its claim on gritty realism, on disillusionment.

But all equilibria are eventually disrupted; all regimes suffer succession problems, hence DNA; the question is how the power-shift plays out. “Entropy increases with melting, vaporization or sublimation.” Apropos the film-at-hand, see also “Entropy increases when solids or liquids dissolve in water.” Heat causes the atoms to vibrate faster and faster until their bonds break, and they re-bond with oxygen, and float upward as a gas. Connections are broken, stabilities de-stabilized.

“Happiness is simple. But the thing about happiness? It can vanish in a heartbeat.” Sully and Neytiri are lying together in the darkness when they suddenly sit up, their eyes shooting skyward. A new star in the sky that brightens and glints and grows. “That could only mean one thing”—life, crossing the great desert-threshold of space to reach this planetary amniote, this oasis, this bubble-ecology in the void. A source of energy; a source of appetite. A new stranger in town. A causal ripple.

At first it’s a godly light, a little star over Bethlehem. Then, from holy white and blue, a gun-metal gray: Great ships, lowered modules, beams of fire shooting out from below the rockets as they land and napalm everything for miles. Huge billowing clouds of flame, the megafauna panicking, fleeing in every direction but without hope—a sequence which evokes nothing if not the aboriginal settlement of Australia.

Quickly, but this is important to get out of the way: the modern West idealizes pre-European indigenous populations as pacifists living in uncomplicated harmony with an Edenic nature. There are shades of comparative truth in this picture: nomads may live more lightly off the land; slow-changing cultures better maintain equilibrium with their environment. But our best attempts at serious historiography show that geo-engineering, deforestation, environmental destruction, species extinction, and agricultural breeding regimes were all common in the pre-Columbian Americas. If there is a difference between indigenous and Western peoples, it is of degree and not of kind, of situation more than disposition. It is probably time to dispense with the simplistic view that Avatar depicts the “true, essential barbarity” and parasitism—the “carcinogenic” quality, to quote Sontag—of Western peoples and cultures, in contrast with some inherent, mutualistic, quasi-Buddhist enlightenment of the indigenous Na’vi. Cameron’s Na’vi—or the Na’vi as they are commonly interpreted—are closer to Western caricatures than flesh-and-blood organisms created by evolutionary logic. They have the feel of a colonial-era, quasi-Christian moral construct—as anti-Darwin as creationism. And the director has repeatedly hinted that darker, more violent “fire” tribes inhabit Pandora—this suggestion being at least faithful to the deep cultural and moral heterogeneity of native peoples.

This is a film about what it really means to be an organism—about the darker realities that lie beneath our Christian moral illusions. What it means to be subject to the sick and beautiful logic of natural selection. Some organisms, blessed with chloroplasts, derive most of their energy “freely,” from the sun. The rest of us—even the herbivores—must destructure other forms of life in order to keep on living. This is just what food is—the decomposition of complex structure, an increase in entropy. Making a mess of the world in order to keep your internals organized. Keeping the fire of the self burning, by breaking down cells. And even for the plants, life is far from peaceful. Real estate conflicts are inexorable; roots fight over access to water and quality soil; leaves shade each other out, struggle for sun through a crowded canopy. Flowers mimic and compete with each other for pollinators; false chemical signals are emitted to sabotage the growth patterns of rival plants. Amidst this conflict, cooperation abounds: trade networks between evergreen and deciduous trees, mutualisms between the plants and the bacteria that help feed them. Nature is not just war. This is what Lynn Margulis understood; nature is as thoroughly defined by cooperation as conflict, and if you look closely enough, conflict and cooperation are revealed to be not opposed but self-constituting, interdependent processes. But by this same token of group selection, if you’re not in you’re out, and if you’re not with us, you’re against us: the fact of multicellularity and cooperation, the emergence of teams and family units, does not change the ubiquity of warfare. It merely re-draws the battle lines.

Back to Pandora now. It's unclear whether all this burning and killing is intentional, or just a byproduct of needing a large clearing to land the rockets, but either way the destruction is a feature, not a bug. Canopies provide cover for Na’vi; a barren waste gives the new base visibility for miles; it’s a strategy straight from the Vietnam playbook. And the megafauna, from a militaristic perspective, is merely a threat best eliminated—nothing more. There are advantages to this lack of sentimentality, this lack of aesthetic consideration. One advantage is survival. Then a module like a black monolith touches down on the scorched earth, and a cavernous metal hangar door extends into a ramp. Amidst the cinders and windborne sparks and the orange glow of Shiva, god of death, the great machinery rolls out accompanied by metal mechas. Terminators. The forces of Mordor; a fiery renewal. Machines in service to the Great Machine, the consumer of worlds, which loves only calories and gigawatts. Neytiri, wife of Sully, daughter and royal of the Omaticaya, watches from distant cliffs, senseless in her pain, tears pouring from her eyes as smoke billows into the darkening sky.

“Entropy increases with melting, vaporization or sublimation.” Apropos the film-at-hand, see also “Entropy increases when solids or liquids dissolve in water.” Heat causes the atoms to vibrate faster and faster until their bonds break, and they re-bond with oxygen, and float upward as a gas. Connections are broken, stabilities de-stabilized. The enthalpy coincides with increases in entropy, united by Gibbs free energy. Prayer! Sacrifice! Service! to the Goddess of Entropy, the Lord & Lady of the house. Goddess, whose only counter is prolongation and economy! Goddess, indefatigable and invincible; the only victory against her is born of grace!

Now there is only darkness. The screen is black. Then a small, blurry, indistinct light. A new star in the sky. Around a large, white, overhead halo, goggle-and-masked faces emerge from shadow. "You're fine. Stay calm." They're shining flashlights in your eyes. Who are you? Apparently a berserker—the hyper-aggressive, roid-raging marine colonel from the first film. We are all Miles Quaritch, villain, just as we are all also Neytiri, victim. And we have been reincarnated as a “Recombinant”—the body of an avatar, the mind and memory of a KIA marine. A hybrid. It doesn’t get more nominally explicit than this: they are combinations (syntheses, hybrids); moreover, they are not the first round of combination but the second; by implication, the first round was the Avatar program itself, Avatar-linking as a kind of hybridity. Speaking of, Quaritch is a Victorian (colonial-era) British name, for whatever that’s worth. There’s 19th century novel named Colonel Quaritch, whose titular character served abroad in British colonial wars, across India and Egypt. A more sympathetic character than our Quaritch, but still occupying the same brutal position as occupier: “The terror of what in defence of his own life he was forced to do revolted him even in the heat of a fight.”

What in defense we are forced to do. Choose to do, if we are honest. But in a him-or-me logic that most of us understand, knowing we’d make the same call. The only unusual thing about 19th century Quaritch is his sense of conscious conscience, and the extremity of his self-defensive acts. But the basic logic of defensive maneuvering—of aggression born from fear—is one of our foundational motivators, one usually repressed below the level of clear awareness, so that we maneuver in pre-emptive, plausibly defensible ways that advantage ourselves at the cost of others, and strike threats before they may strike us, and in general choose—in those tradeoffs between personal suffering and the suffering of others—that more abstract, latter cost, which takes active cognitive work to simulate, in contrast to the vivid acuity of personal suffering which takes cognitive work to transcend.

Our 22nd century Quaritch awakens—is virgin-born—to flashlights shined into his eyes. “Let there be light.” These films have all sorts of parallels to the Alien franchise, and the laboratory “birth” scenes, like the hypersleep-style avatar coffins, are one of them. Even the ship’s operating room looks like a high-tech Ridley Scott set. The marine’s first response to his awakening involves punching out the nurse attendants, flipping table trays, and knocking shit onto the ground. Why? Because he's terrified. The human nurses flee, calling for security and sealing the room. Other, Na'vi-looking bodies in the room restrain the colonel. "It's me, Corporal Wainfleet!" one shouts, looking him in the eyes. A name is a powerful thing. Quarritch's feral teeth relax. These are his marines, his guys, his men—their minds transplanted into new Na'vi bodies. Those he believed were enemies turned out to be his allies. Those he saw as threats turned out to be his partisans, his agents, his right-hand man—an extension of his figurative body. He himself now occupies the body of his enemy. He admires his new, sharpened canines in the glass's mirror-like surface. Behind the glass, attendants watch him, hidden by glare—an effective two-way mirror. Underneath the surface, there is always another layer. And there are so many surfaces in this film, two-dimensional barriers which, broken, reveal an endless worldly depth. The surface of skin, the surface of sea; an ecology beneath.

Now, on-screen, we see this new Recombinant Quarritch getting oriented. We see him watching a screen of his own, of his previous self staring into a screen, staring into a webcam. Identity and virtuality recurse, illuminating the constructed fragility of our self-concepts, their constitution by theory of mind. "The idea is to get the minds of the saltiest on-world operators, like Corporal Wainfleet over there, and your humble narrator, into recombinant bodies... Loaded with my memory and my charm. What you won't remember is my death, because it hasn't happened yet, and it ain't gonna.” As the screen-nested Quaritch-ghost speaks, a coffin-like link unit called the Soul Drive opens its lid behind him, and the Corporal steps out, and another layer of background becomes framed focal point. Over the top of the orientation screen—the one Quaritch is watching—we now see the present-day Corporal floating in zero-G. It’s hard to describe and hard to envision, but if you’ve seen the film you recognize the moment I’m referring to. What’s important is the takeaway and the takeaway is simple: Look at all these layers of past and present, virtuality and connection, all these nestings and simulacra.

Let’s talk about hybrids, quickly now, because every main character in this film—with the sole exception of Neytiri—is, quite overtly, some synthetic or in-between species. "Freaks," to get technical. It’s common, especially in environmental and conservationist circles, to think of hybrids as somehow unnatural. (A similar fear of status-quo change underlies the labeling of "invasive" species.) In part this might be due to our simplistic, middle school biology understanding of speciations: many see species as something pure, a natural joint in the world, which by definition cannot reproduce with other species. This is misleading. Hybridity as an event is somewhat uncommon, and fertile hybrids all the more rare. But rarity, on human timescales, can be a dominant factor of change and adaptation at an evolutionary timescale. All life forms are hybrids; all species are mongrels; all “humans” contain Neanderthal and Denisovan and Homo Sapien DNA. Mitochondria used to live autonomously before they were integrated within the cell walls of our bodies. The same with the chloroplasts in plant cells. Every known organism is an extensive system of symbiosis. One cannot conceive of the concept of the supposedly individual or atomic organism without a concept of symbiosis, both at microscopic and macroscopic levels. Three new Senecio species (Yorkwort, Oxford ragwort, and Welsh groundsel) emerged in Britain from hybridization in just a few centuries. These hybrids endlessly cross with one another, back and forth, such that even the original, hybridized species typically contain small amounts of other species’ genes. “The idea of a tree of life should be replaced by the image of a more tangled mosaic of interacting lives in which [different species] may continue to exchange some genes for millions of years after they first separate” (Chris D. Thomas, Inheritors of the Earth). But our natural impulses towards purity and essentialism mislead us into genocide and holocaust, culling so-called American “beefalo” bison for possessing small amounts of cattle DNA—even as the much-protected European bison is itself a full-blown cross between auroch cattle and steppe bison. These essentialisms, no matter how "benign" or "progressive" should scare us; they are fascistic in their violent upholding of some "original" order falsely projected onto a nature constantly in flux.

(These novel hybrid are becoming more common with modernity, in large part the result of what Thomas calls “New Pangea”—the way humans have bridged previous buffer zones between ecosystems via trade and migration patterns. In other words, these hybrids result from greater connection. Avatar, being a franchise about ecology, is also equally a franchise about connection; ecology at its most fundamental is the study of the ways that organisms' fates are bound up and interdependent.)

The apparent opposite of synthesis is rigid opposition and conflict—and yet, from where is synthesis born other than the opposition of thesis with antithesis? “You are my enemy now, and you shall be my brother-in-war.” Chase someone long enough, battle someone long enough, and they’re the closest thing you’ve got to a peer. It’s why Bond villains endlessly postpone on killing Bond. “You are my enemy now, and you shall be my brother-in-war.” Cue the ghost of Quaritch, still obsessed with his old rival: “Well, whatever happened, if you're any clone of mine you'll be looking for payback, and Jake Sully would be the top of that list. Remember kid, a marine can't be defeated. Oh you can kill us, but we'll just regroup in hell. Semper fi." Colonel out. Two fingers extended, shutting off the screen. One-way transmissions without feedback, passing themselves forward, tiling themselves across the universe.

Already we have the revenge cycles, the feedback loops of blood for blood. Already we have marine-as-ethos, marine-as-meme, marine-as-mindset. Semper fi. Power and nothing but it; the taste for pleasure replaced by tough perseverance. A boot, a mantra, stamping and printing itself across the universe. Marine as demon, marine as transpersonal, parasitic intelligence. And then there was darkness. Operatic music plays, like something out of Phantom Menace's Duel on Naboo, in the Theed palace generators. A group of Na’vi plummet from the sky on their banshees, flying through the forest canopy.

#james cameron

1 note · View note

craftystudentbouquet · 2 years

Text

Abstract Art And I

I have always loved bright colors and movement, like dancing its healing, relaxing fulfilling and challenging as well. The bottom line is the feeling and message that I want to convey through the medium. When I paint, every attempt is to capture the feel of warmth, passion, joy and bliss in none objective or figurative composition. I enjoy experimentation of different media and subjects.

My subject varies based on my emotion and statement but my love for colors is constant. In spite of this, viewers see different forms or figures in my abstract expressions. The good thing about these expressions is the freedom of the viewers to see and appreciate the forms in their mind’s eyes, like face painting in the eye of the viewer. I The symbols and forms of this art style are reflected in my cubism, abstract images, abstract relief sculpture, seascape, drawing, pastels and watercolor painting.

People see different forms or images in abstract art, the depth of what you actually see when you look at the paintings is partly based on individual exposure and understanding of art forms, color, shapes, line and texture; which are the physical elements that combine to make up the artworks.

A selection of different dark hues, shapes and forms may give various impressions to different minds; light, airy images as mystical; balanced, temperate forms as peaceful. Uli organic forms and shape are symbolical such as colors and forms have meaning in and of themselves. It is a simple truth that you can’t give what you don’t have. I am a believer and my work time is also a meditation time, which can go either way depending on the spiritual consciousness of the creative mind.

To me, my work section is an intimate moment between I, canvas and colors. At this creative moment there is a spiritual impartation from the artist to the Art. Hence the emotional reaction to these elements even if they create no recognizable object for us to hang onto.

I enjoy the inclusion and deletion of space. The handling of space or the illusion of space is another powerful element in the artist’s mind. If you are drawn into a yard of three-dimensional space stretching beyond the framework of the painting to sculpture, you are not alone. The impression of depth, perspective, airiness, solidity, textures and other spatial relations are created and controlled to achieve a desired goal.

The overall composition or design of my painting or sculpture is created to guide the viewer’s eyes to understanding and appreciation of the images.

I must admit, most of my figurative compositions is a celebration of womanhood, which I am very proud to be part of for they are the seats of wisdom and knowledge.

I pride in the feeling and reactions of my clients and viewers to my creations. I feel blessed in many ways than words can express. The challenge sometimes is getting the composition right, or balancing the elements of color, lines and shapes while maintaining a dynamic tension and massage beneath.

Energy is the life force that is present in all good art. This is not something that is easily defined. The life force of every work I do is the same, but different energy and different statements. It is this peculiar energy that makes my works speak to you, and makes them unique, original and identifiable to me. This energy is created out of experience and self-awareness, materials and tools, but the end is more than the means in the same sense that a musical composition is so much more than a collection of notes.

You are welcome into my world of abstract wall art or modern art, relax and let your eye leisurely wander over the collection of verities of art forms and styles. Let your heart and mind react to my colors, shapes, figures and textures. Come and spoil yourself a little in the illusion of vibrant spaces, the movement of lines and the mood of blissful atmosphere.

Come, come up close and explore the intricacies of brushstrokes, spatula- strokes, paint thickness, textures and compositional details. Enjoy how the parts are woven together to form the whole.

Take your time. My artwork cannot be understood and appreciated in a ten second glance.

Allow my art to grow on you, becoming more interesting and more enjoyable to look at eBook - Epoxy Resin for Arts and Crafts

#abstract #epoxyart #epoxy resin #abstract art #abstract painting #modern art #art guide #acrylicpainting #abstract expressions

1 note · View note

yandere-sins · 3 years

Note

Maybe some inspiration for a yandere kitsune atsumu fic?? I just imagine him coming across you hiking in the woods one day and he’s like “you’re cute I’m gonna keep you!” He thinks it’s cute to have a pet, something that is his alone that no one else can have

Oooh, thank you! I love the idea! Enjoy!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

This wasn’t how he usually did things, but what about him was ever normal?

If Atsumu wanted to mingle with humans, he’d go down to the town at the foot of the mountain. Roam its street, flirt a little with the giggling girls he met, or play with the children. In the hundreds of years he lived, he sometimes needed the change from his otherwise dull life. Atsumu was way too strong to brawl with the other creatures, and his own kind was too proud and traditional to be around of. So all he did was eat and sleep, occasionally do some trickery or run from the rain. It wasn’t a very fulfilling life to him; he didn’t even have a mate to share his days with, so what really was there left for the bored kitsune?

But you, you weren’t a usual thing either.

Few to none ever got lost in the forest that coated the mountain he lived on. There were too many rumors about strange creatures inhabiting these lands, of people going missing and turning up talking nonsense about what they experienced here. And even then, if someone wandered up here, it was usually an old monk with spiritual powers on a pilgrimage who could find their way around.

So what were you up to in his part of the forest? Perhaps you were lucky it was just his territory, or you might have already been torn up by an oni or lead astray by anything else. Instead, Atsumu had been following and watching you for a while as you moved through the lands. He waited patiently while you rested at the river and shushed away some of the animals that came too close to you for his liking. You might not recognize a deer as something dangerous, but he didn’t like thinking about the marks it would leave if it decided to bite. But now you were closing in on the end of his territory, and from then on, he wouldn’t be able to watch over you anymore, instead, having to go back to his utterly boring day in his utterly boring life.

That’s not what he wanted to let happen.

“Leaving already?” you heard behind you, instantly turning around in surprise to hear a human voice in the uninhabited forest. Even though you were tense, you didn’t seem immediately alarmed by his presence, Atsumu hiding his more extraordinary features behind magic. “Who are you?” you asked him curiously, and he lifted a hand, pointing back into his territory.

“I take care of the temple here. Not many humans come across it, have you made an offering?”

Imitating to be a shrine caretaker seemed to work as your shoulders relaxed, and you turned to him fully, flight instinct dispersing. “I must have missed it. I’m sorry...”

“No problem,” Atsumu was quick to chime up happily. “I can show you where it is. You wouldn’t want to continue on your way without divine protection, would you?”

Hesitating, you looked back at the path over your shoulder before shaking your head. “Certainly not. It can’t hurt to have some protection on this mountain, can it?”

You quickly caught up to him, and Atsumu laughed as you implied the rumors, shaking his head. “Don’t tell me you believe in yokai?” he teased you, and you quickly spluttered that you weren’t afraid of these things, putting on a brave face. However, twiddling with your thumbs gave away that you did mind - a lot.

Cute, Atsumu thought.

You soon enough started to tell him all about your adventure after he initiated the conversation with, “What are you doing here?” telling him you were just wandering to get some clarity of mind. Atsumu took the time you were talking excitedly to study your features. Humans were all so unique, and even if he was able to imitate their looks, he always found himself mesmerized. Foxes usually had just one topic when it came to looks: How unique and shiny is your coat? But it was different for humans. They dyed and cut their hair as they wanted, changed their bodies significantly over time. Their noses were all very different, eyes as unique as their gestures or voices. Humans were so much more interesting than the other kitsune, even if Atsumu didn’t envy how weak they were.

“There we are,” he interrupted you merrily at the foot of the staircase leading to the temple. There really were old, rotten temple grounds on top of the steps, but one you wouldn’t be allowed to see. Humans had long forgotten and abandoned this place, justifiable even, as it was too hard to reach and maintain. No one could even come here with all these dangers. But back in the days, he remembered how much he loved watching the humans build it and pray at it, before when the humans still co-existed well with the spiritual world. But it wasn’t like when he was a little cub anymore. It was his home still, but not one he would show you.

“Well then,” you chuckled nervously, eyeing the stairs. You two began the climb in silence, your eyes mainly on the unmaintained steps, trying not to fall over them. Even focused, you were quite the adorable one, and he appreciated how chipper and optimistic you had been all the way here. Yes, you certainly were a special human, Atsumu decided, his determination only strengthening the magic that was forming halfway up the stairs.

With how little you looked up, you didn’t notice how the stairs kept coming and coming, as if in a loop. Only the feeling of exhaustion was growing on your part, but when you finally looked up, Atsumu could see your eyes growing wide with the wonders you were seeing.

“Do you like it?” he asked, inching closer to you. You were so amazed by the gold and red of the beautiful, large temple spreading out before you, you didn’t notice him taking a whiff of your scent, a mix of soap and sweat, but nothing he found terribly appalling. After all, it was your scent, and he’d find you with it no matter where you went. The scent of his human.

With a delighted giggle, you took the last three steps, leaving Atsumu behind as you looked around you. You seemed to be in awe by how beautiful the temple was that it even made Atsumu forget for a second that this was just how he created it with his magic. “Who’d have thought there’d be such a beautiful temple in the middle of nowhere,” you mumbled before finally turning around to your guide.

“You must be taking really good care--”

Only then did you notice the prominent features of a fox spirit peeking out of his hair, his tail slowly wagging behind him. Of course, in a world of his magic, he’d not be able to keep up the appearance of a human, but you had long crossed the borders to the spiritual realms. It didn’t matter anymore if you recognized him or not.

Still, you backed away in shock while Atsumu always drew closer to you no matter how many steps you took back. “I am glad you like it. Why don’t you stay here?” he asked, and panic spread in you as you looked around to find a way out. Only briefly did you look to your left and then him again before you bolted. You were quick, but if he had run after you, he would have been faster, no question asked.

Instead, Atsumu approached his home - the place he lived in all alone until now - calmly, sitting down at the stairs to the temple and waiting for the loop to bring you back. No matter how far you ran, you eventually stumbled back onto the property, falling to your knees as you didn’t expect the open space. “Welcome back,” he greeted you, and even more panic crossed your expression. For every sadistic spirit, this would have been the absolute height of pleasure, seeing their prey so desperate, but Atsumu concentrated on the most important things.

He’d need to create a room for you. A room fit for a human, where you could feel at home while you stayed here with him. “Do you like beds or futon more?” he asked you as you stumbled back over the temple grounds the second time. You gave him a confused and flabbergasted look before booking it into the other direction again. Even if he wasn’t like the other kitsune, Atsumu decided to keep it traditional with a futon.

It took you three more times before you came to a halt in front of him, asking, “Why? Let me go! I want nothing to do with the likes of you!”

“Ah, too bad,” Atsumu sighed, standing up, and for the first time, you looked up to him properly, like the good tiny human you were. Even at your size, Atsumu was a towering force, making you feel relatively small next to him, a mere illusion from his magic. You wanted to complain as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you up close to his body as if he tried to melt you two together, taking another deep breath. “I always wanted my own human. Everyone said how great it is to have one just for myself, and here you are.”

He felt you shiver in his arms at his words, and it brought a smile to his face. “You’re so adorable~ Why don’t you just stay here with me and let me have you?”

“N-No!” you said firmly, using his moment of inattention to push him away roughly. “Your kind just wants to play with us and make us crazy! I want to go home! I won’t play with you!”

“Play?” Atsumu mumbled before a broad smile grazed his lips. “Do I look like a child to you? I have no such intentions. If you want to leave, by all means, leave. I know you’ll come back all on your own.”

Anger festering in your expression, you huffed before turning on your heels, running towards and down the long staircase. How could he be so sure that you’d come back? Well, you were long caught in his realm, and he had sent out the invitations to everyone on the mountain to look at his darling little human.

It was just before sunset that you crawled back to him, having seen the horrors of true monsters that wanted nothing more than to drool on you and laugh about how pitiful you were. Maybe Atsumu did want to play with you a little bit, make you a little crazy, but mostly show you there were worse creatures waiting if you left his side. Instead, he’d keep you with him safe and sound, his arms wide open as you returned, making you fall right into his lap and into the comfort he offered to you, brushing over your head as tears streamed down your cheeks.

“I’ll definitely leave tomorrow,” you announced bitterly. “Sure, sure~” he merely pitied you, picking you up and carrying you inside the temple. In a few weeks, this would probably get boring, but by then, he’d surely come up with another method to keep you busy. And until then, he had a futon to share with you and a world you could never escape from until he decided to let you go.

But why would he ever let such a cute, amusing human go?

294 notes · View notes

marshmallowprotection · 2 years

Text

Gardenia, et tu Polaris?

Pairing: Choi Saeran/Reader, 707 | Choi Luciel/Reader

Description: Would you risk your soul to save someone you love? Would you give your eternal life if it meant that they could survive? For Saeran and Luciel, that isn’t a hypothetical question, and these twins torn apart by Heaven and Hell have no one to blame but themselves. Will the stars guide them back to life’s bountiful garden, or will they taste hellfire before they know what it means to have faith in something real?

Saeran x Reader 1 & Seven x Reader 2 [There are two Separate Readers. Choose your path.]

Word Count: 6333

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

[Read On AO3]

Chapter Eleven

Despite what one may lead you to believe with their opinion, ruling over the realm of Hell wasn’t as difficult as it appeared to be. It was different from running a country, but Rika didn’t think it was hard. Lucifer simply allowed it to become hard over the centuries. There were plenty of things that needed to be done and taken care of but they weren’t impossible. They were easy when you had the right amount of advisors and demons on your side to take care of everything.

Unlike Lucifer, Rika was very willing to work with anyone in Hell who was willing to work with her on assignments.

With the right hand and delegation allocated, there was nothing to be concerned about with the reality of things. She waved her hand and allowed the demons to do what they needed to do. She could get more done by entrusting layers by design. Each layer of Hell now held someone in charge of its torture and maintenance; Though, she had the final say in things when it came to transporting souls from one plain to another, among other things. It allowed her more time to consider what was needed and what could benefit every demon in the realm as they worked to spur the fires of Hell.

The realm needed to be run by someone willing to lower their hands and say, “I would truly enjoy the pleasure of working with you to maintain the stability of our realm. It isn’t my job to do this all by myself. Hell is meant to be run by the hand of our malicious and steadfast demons. Who better to do what is needed than those on the ground? I am merely one Devil, but with all of you, we can run this realm right. By unleashing our personal Devil, we can create discord amongst the humans and those Angels. Together, we are stronger, as opposed to bowing our heads to Lucifer who never let anyone in hell speak their minds.”

It hadn’t taken all that long for her to gain a position, much less find herself on the throne of Hell. When she spoke with eloquence about how she imagined the realm of Hell, it didn’t take that long for people to realize that she was capable. Even Lucifer had complimented her a few times as she made her way through his court throughout the centuries. In her few hundred years in Hell, she had spent most of her time climbing her way to the top with her warm smile and radiant ideals. Many of the demons had joked that she was an Angel of Death from her appearance.

It was because so many of them never expected to see a demon with long blonde curls and deep green eyes. Even with her dark feathers that clung to her back like an Angels wing dipped in darkness, or her horns that curled around her brow like a crown of despair, many saw her to be an illusion of Heaven’s glow… a mockery of their world that claimed to possess those that were beautiful and shiny. Rika was one of God’s mistakes, she often said with a smile, because his mistake was allowing a human who had strong ideals to fall into Hell in the first place.

Unlike most souls sent to Hell after their death, hers had been so in need of holy punishment that she awoke as a devil instead of a tortured soul burning down in the deep pits for all eternity. To think he’d given her power after he failed her in her mortal life, now, that was the best joke of all time. It was his mistake and he would one day pay for it, just as she’d made Lucifer pay for his indiscretions. Neither God nor the Devil was free from Judgment Day. No matter how much they claimed to be the ones who delegated punishment and salvation, even they weren’t free from it.

It was why Rika did what she had to do. It was her calling and her duty to do what needed to be done. It was why she was sitting on the throne of Hell with a firmness in her eyes, knowing that she was the Devil who Hell had always needed. It was her destiny to change the way that things were done, and it was never going to return to what it once had been. She would not allow such mistakes to be made ever again. It all started by understanding what had gone wrong in the first place and what needed to be the next step since others had failed to make it.

As it turned out, Hell had needed the guidance of someone who didn’t stick to the old ways for a long time.

Lucifer was no different than a man upstairs. Perhaps at the dawn of his collapse and descent into the Earth and Hell, he could’ve been capable of the task that he wanted to hold; But, in recent years, he’d become a nuisance and a shell of the strength that he once held in his hands. He stuck to his ways and refused to change with time. It was humorous to think that Lucifer had become so set in his ways after spending his time trying to rebel against God. He always claimed that he would never be the man who created him.

The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, that’s what they always said. In the end, he was no different than his Father. Lucifer believed that he was going against God for his love of humanity and lack of care for a million Angels in need, but in reality, he’d become a God that he hated by the end of his reign and it was the reason why he needed to take his eternal rest. There was no point in keeping around a Devil in Hell who hated himself so much that he could barely see the space beyond his nose. He was better off with the damned souls that he loved to devour.

He hated humanity for all it was worth, but his bias of hatred clouded his ability to judge properly at his stead. He didn’t believe salvation was possible for the souls who had been punished unfairly or for sins that were not as damned as those on the lower depths of Hell. There was no chance to redeem the lives that they had lived and claimed a chance to be among the souls in the Heavenly realms. Regardless of their deep faith or lack thereof, there were far too many souls unable to reach the afterlife they’d poured all their lives into simply for minor infractions.

It would not be the most grievous of sins that would bring them damnation.

In fact, most of the time it would be something that nobody would ever expect to be countered among the sins. It would be one of those things that you would have never believed would bring about such a cruel fate in the end. Something so small and subtle that most people in the modern-day wouldn't even be taught about. Now, it didn't seem incredibly fair for people to be punished for something that they weren't told about in the first place. It seemed to go against everything that Heaven and Hell stood for. The system was the abomination, not the people at its mercy.

Lucifer was, or rather, had been a stickler for little details. He could nitpick anyone over the smallest of mistakes like a game. He would laugh in their face and watch as they would lament over such a minor infraction. There was nothing I could do about it because he was the kind of person that did not care about the excuses that they wanted to make. All he wanted to do was make good on the punishment that they were due to their choices. He never gave it a second thought or decided to look it over to see if it was needed one more time. His malice and discontent were biased.

Just as God was willing to look at those choices and cast the very same souls down to Hell in the first place. It was a crying shame. Even though they both claimed to be very different from the other, they were no different at the end of the day. They claimed to know what they were doing and that it was their job to do what needed to be done for the souls. Yet, there was no consideration for those that needed to be looked at one more time. There was no thought about their situations or what could have been done differently. There was no care to what they could have been forced into doing or made to do from the start.

It wasn't about morality.

It was about their justice.

God’s justice… Lucifer’s justice… There was no line between those two things, no difference, no wall between the two. They were the same and their choices were incredibly outdated and unwanted. There was not a single person who was flourishing underneath such a system of damnation and counts of discrimination. There were not any blossoming Angels, no growing demons, nor was there a single human who could say they were content with the system of life, death, and renewal. It‘d been broken for centuries and the longer the system continued, the more the universe was failing those who resided inside of it.

That's why she decided that something needed to be done. She managed to speak to those demons who were amongst the highest in Hell and convinced them of what needed to be done. Many were tired in a way that they’d never admit because anyone who disagreed with Lucifer would be sent into the pits to be roasted. Demons didn’t die easily when you tortured them, if you wanted to kill them, you would’ve needed a powerful artifact created by God as a failsafe just in case. But if you roasted them on a spike or something, they wouldn’t die. Lucifer liked to punish demons for fun. It was just one of the ways that he ran the realm.

Malicious hearts and intent were the backgrounds of Hell, but that didn’t mean that many demons did appreciate being treated like the human souls meant to be damned. He wasn’t willing to team up with the demons around him, not even those that had fallen with him were close to his heart. He crushed so many of them without warning simply because he could. He was Lucifer, the former Morningstar, the gift of God that fell from grace and became the devil who sat on a throne of damnation and lies with a smug look in his eyes. He was wicked, malicious, and very powerful. But there was one key thing that he wasn’t—

He wasn’t considerate to the possibility of change. In his eyes, it was the way that it was and it would always be the way that it was. There was nothing wrong with the system that he had created and it was always going to be what he wanted. But, if you're used to that thinking and applied it to the same thing that was in Heaven? It made him truly no different than the Father that he was rebelling against all this time. It made it so they were the same.

It didn't matter if they went about things differently, the result was always the same. They claimed to be different in the way they did things, but it was never different at all.

Rika always knew that to be the case.

She had known that fact for a very long time. Her faith had failed her once and she refused to let it fail again. It would never fall flat in her face, and there would be no other person to fail once she had things the way she wanted. She wanted massive upheaval and she was going to get it. She had to get her hands dirty to make sure that it happened first, that’s all. All it took was finding the right poison for Lucifer in the archives of Hell. There was a strong root from a tree that had been swept into hell by Lilith quite a long time ago when she and Adam took the bite from the apple that opened their eyes. That tree was in Hell as it had become “corrupted”, so to speak.

If one were to grind the tree root into a fine powder, it could kill anyone in existence. This was a fact not known to many. It was hidden for a reason and Rika had only found it because her smile and air had amused Lucifer for a few hundred years. She used her charm to worm her way closer and closer to him until he thought nothing of her reading about lesser demons in his library. That was his mistake, of course, because he was quickly indisposed of after one evening meal. He was dead and sent to the deepest part of his layer of Hell to lay amongst the bodies of the damned in his lake. It was fitting for him.

His frigid nature belonged to the ice that many never would’ve expected to linger in such a warm and dangerous place. It was his time to let go of life. It wasn't as if he had a period for his existence from start to finish. There was never an exact expiration date but it had come for him soon enough. When you existed forever, it was obvious that you wouldn't know when you had overstayed your welcome. He got what he had coming to him. He could consider himself fortunate that he was only poisoned.

There were more ghastly ideas that could’ve taken his essence that God would’ve wanted to happen. There were plenty of ways that could have been a hundred times worse than that. It was a way to go help in a whisper instead of in a blaze of agony.

In some ways, Rika was a kind soul that spared him the damnation that God wanted for him. It was only a few minutes of suffering compared to the ions that God would’ve wanted. A few minutes of gasping for air as your body denied a breath. It was nothing. There was nothing to complain about when your death lasted a few seconds. It could’ve been a drawn-out process and taken hours as most of those elder demons might’ve preferred when it came to killing a lone demon and ripping their bodies apart to stop any possible reformation.

She saw her hand as needed and that was that. Lucifer had fallen ill and death took him just as it took many of those who had existed throughout the universe’s existence. He wasn’t safe from death’s long and arduous march. Neither was anyone else who claimed to be immortal and without the need for it.

It was coming for them, all of them, and as many deemed her to be the Angel of Death, she was going to be the one who ensured that those deaths came soon enough to equalize the universe as needed.

This was her true purpose.

The only way to make room for new soil was to watch as the flowers wilted and returned to where they belonged in the ground. For something to thrive, something had to die. That was simply the way of the world. There was no need to complain about that. It had been created this way and that meant that not a single soul could say that she was out of line. She was only doing what needed to be done in the face of failure from others. She took on the crown of Hell and became the Devil they needed, as the last was sent to rest in his grave. It was the only way for change to come.

It was the only real way for the seasons to change and something to come about that made things right. If the flowers were to bloom again, something would have to be sacrificed upon the soil for everything to be nourished. There was nothing macabre about it. It was merely a cycle of love and loss. For you to gain something you had to lose something. Nothing was ever truly gone, anyway. Much in the sense that things were like cockroaches. You could continue to try and scrub it away but it would always find a way to come back to life.

Rika was a demon unlike the rest and she was proud of herself. She stood tall in the face of Hell and that was what lent her the support of its people. Surely, there was something to be said about the boy that had fallen from grace just after Lucifer’s death that helped her ensure that the demons were able to understand the severity of the situation. But, she took her claim at the throne because it was meant for her to take. It was her spot to have and God could only blame himself for allowing her to grasp at such a thing. If he never wanted her to take it, he would’ve never failed her as a mortal on the planet Earth.

Here she was, the Devil, with the new world order sitting on the horizon because of God’s mistake, and she couldn’t have been happier. They made her become this way and she was going to show them why they had hell to pay. She had become the Devil as they always imagined her to be and she would be the strongest one that ever existed. Nobody would ever forget her name or what they did as long as she was around to remind them of their misdeeds. Rika wanted to prevent the worst of the worst from having a chance to happen again. It’s why she was a better fit for this job. Hell wasn’t meant to be a realm of damnation and suffering. It could have been a place that balanced out punishment and rehabilitation.

There could be a tipping point between the two of those things but it was a damn shame that nobody seemed to think that it was reasonable or possible. She was the one leading the charge now. Even if the eldest of demons were committed to punishment, she was as well, but only when needed… only when those who truly deserved the taste of rot and fire in their throats were those who needed to be damned. The rest should have been given a chance to work out their sentence and make their way back up to the top if possible. There was a way to make it work. But, of course, for the scale to start, they had to hit it where it hurt first.

That’s why she ordered so many demons to climb upon Earth and consume the greed of those who would be damned in hellfire as they pleased. They could get a taste of the things that they wanted so much faster and easier, and it cleared the way to show Heaven that their lack of care towards Earth in any capacity was what would destroy them. If they wouldn’t do what needed to be done then she had to do it. Hell was already on Earth well before the demons, but this would force Heaven to see it for the truth it was. They already believed that humans weren’t worth the trouble anymore, yet, they decided to continue the system that God had created purely for tradition.

It was complacency at its finest. Hell and Heaven weren’t so different, but that’s why Rika refused for it to remain that way any longer. Hell was going to change and she was going to drag Heaven through change as soon as she could grasp them. She would destroy their systems the way they destroyed her in life, and they would know the taste of ash as she had. She could care less for humanity in the sense that it had abandoned her as well as Heaven and Hell had, but there was always a chance in the world that there were golden eggs in the pool of sludge that was Earth. That’s why whoever survived the onslaught of corruption was worthy of their place.

Though, as she sat on her throne today, she was rather curious about the news that she just received from one of the many informants that worked to stalk and gather information from Angels that were on Earth. It wasn't the news that she had expected to hear but it was something that she realized that she could put into her favor. This was the kind of thing that they were trying to hide for a reason, and she was going to make sure that they were not capable of making that choice for long.

“Everything has been going according to plan. Heaven has no idea about what we've been doing all this time. In fact, it appears as though they think that humanity itself is corrupted and it has nothing to do with us. I'm sure that that is no surprise to you, Ma'am. There is no doubt that they believe that things are uncontrollable and unruly. It's a shame that they don't have their act together, if they were much more willing to see things for what they were, maybe they would realize the truth of the situation. But, just as you thought, they have proceeded as expected. Humanity is to blame for their suffering as far as they believe.”

“However, as it stands, for the first time in a very long time, two Guardian Angels have been on Earth for an extended period. They stopped allowing that to happen quite a long time ago. I cannot recall the last time that they allowed them on Earth for longer than a day, maybe two at most. That alone is much too suspicious. But, there’s other news. They are in close contact with another Angel who is quite high in command, yet, their duty alone is for one human being. We haven't been able to figure out why it is this particular human, however. But, what we can surmise is that this is an intentional decision on their part. Something about this human is very important to Heaven.”

“How important?”

“Important enough that Jumin Han is involved. However, I can tell you information that I’ve got from this firsthand. The human in question is a party coordinator working for his persona, and there’s going to be a major event held very soon. The Angel contact I’ve contacted has also implied there’s likely to be other Angels in attendance with the humans at this event. I can’t say I know their intention, Ma’am, but I can say that it’s suspicious.”

It was suspicious.

What reason would Heaven have at a party? Even if Jumin, one of the highest Angels, was holding the event, Heaven had held closed doors for years now since the fall of Luciel. Why would they want to be on the ground all of a sudden? It just didn't make any sense. Why would they want to come down here after years of being detached? What was the purpose? What did the involvement of this human mean? Why did it matter now? Heaven was up to something, and that something was no good.

The revelation hung in the air for a long moment. There was something about it that just rubbed her the wrong way. She felt like she knew what this was about. There was no way to know for sure, but she had a strong feeling. The last time she had a strong feeling about the future, she ignored it and looked to someone else for guidance, but not this time. She would think about what she needed to do here but there was already a strong sense of what needed to be done. It would turn out the way that she wanted.

Yes, she could likely use this to benefit the plan at hand. It could happen a lot faster than she imagined it would. They would just need to handle this with care. As long as she considered the options then it would turn out alright. Yes, this could be good. This could be everything that she needed it to be. It’d come together, and it’d be God’s fault. It was always his fault but this time it would be sweet justice to think that his undoing could be his creation.

“I can only imagine that this may be a test,” Rika leaned back in her chair as she dismissed the demon who brought the news. She glanced over her shoulder to look at Jihyun. There was a tight line to his lips as if he was uncomfortable hearing the news. “You know, just like the last time that they decided to run tests. I can't imagine why they would want to do it but we both know what happens in the end. Of course, we know how that ended up, don’t we?”

“...Yes,” Jihyun said, quietly. There was something almost dejected about the way that he spoke up. It was a memory that he wasn't happy about. He wasn't proud of it, either. Rika couldn’t say she was so pleased with it, either. It was the precipice of their relationship. It was the crux of all sin. “I remember it clearly. I won't forget. It is ingrained inside of me.”

Her fingers tapped against the arm of her chair, “Of course, you do. I imagine if it's happening again, I will have to do something this time. There's something that we must consider if that’s the case. I can’t help but wonder if you're up to the challenge, Jihyun. Because if we have to do this all over, it's going to be done differently and I’m going to decide how the story ends. You’re not going to make that decision at all. Do you understand me?”

His mint eyes met hers. There was something unspoken inside of them. Perhaps, it was the fact that her voice had gone icy. “I understand. I understand what you mean completely. I don't think anything will ever happen like that again. But, I understand that it's still possible. After all, I don't believe Father has changed. If anything, he's more set in his ways. But, it's up to you what you think we have to do for this situation, my Queen.”

A wicked smile crossed her lips. “Now, was that so hard? You know, you could have done that the first time. Oh, well. Now that we have this information, I think you understand what I need you to do for me.”

“I do.”

“Good. I'm glad that we had this understanding. Fetch Luciel for me, then. I need to speak with him at once.” She ordered. Jihyun didn’t argue with it. His long mint curls pooled around his face almost as if he still felt the shame of the past. He pulled his coat around himself to cover the black crop-top that he was wearing, held his head lowered, and left the room to go and find the demon in question. It was so much better when he didn't argue. It was a lot easier that way.

She was finally the one in control like she needed to be. She had the cosmic power, now, and there was nothing that he could do about it.

Those memories were still as fresh as the day was long. Neither he nor she would ever forget what had happened. It was what spurred them to do what they needed to do. Well, it convinced Rika to do what she needed. Jihyun was less willing but he came around after a while. It took him some time but he was that sort of person. He was the kind of person that would get lost in his head before he could make any sense of his decisions. But when he decided at the end of his thoughts, he would burn himself to make sure that it happened.

Quite literally, of course.

His indecisive nature could be what caused him trouble in the first place, yet, it wasn’t what made him be the man he was today. No, his inability to think before he acted was what caused so much trouble in the first place. They were bound together for a reason, and as frustrated as she could be with him, they were together now as dictated by destiny. Even if it wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world, it was useful to make him bend as needed.

Jihyun would do what she needed. He wouldn't argue about it and he would never make a fuss when she told him to do something that he didn't agree with. He knew his place and he knew the price of the punishment that would happen if he didn't listen. It was just better this way. It was always going to be better this way. Instead of letting him push her around, she was the one getting to call the shots and let it be what it needed to be. If only he had done that from the start.

Though, she was surprised that he hadn't gotten this information first. It was by the nature of who he was and the connections that he had made that should have allowed him to see this coming. He always knew when somebody was going to do something that they were trying to hide from everyone. It was a possibility that something had slipped underneath his radar, but she wasn't sure that that was the case. It was curious to think what would happen if he had known this information before she had been told it.

No, this wasn't the time to be doubting him. She didn't have time to deal with him in that sense. There was nothing to think about. These sorts of things just happened sometimes. It was incredibly rare, but it still happened now and again. It was obvious that they were trying to hide this information as much as humanly possible. There was a reason why they were doing it right now, and if it was hidden enough that Jihyun couldn’t get his hands on it first? That meant that the situation needed to be provoked and God needed to be punished for being stupid enough to get caught.

Rika merely shook the thought from her head. It had been a couple of hundred years, and she could ignore what happened for now. She was focusing on the future and she would deal with the past when there was time. He was already paying a price and serving a sentence, there was nothing that she could do to make him suffer more. He would do anything that she asked… even if it meant walking through hellfire. Perhaps, he was just thinking of his mistakes of the past.

It was possible because if this was a situation where they were going to test someone, it could end up the way it had the last time. It never worked out, and it wasn’t going to work now. Testing humanity was such a stupid thing. They only did it because they imagined that it was worth seeing if the people were following what they needed to do. Humanity never was because they had misunderstood all of the teachings that had been passed onto them. It wasn't just because they’d been tricked and deceived by demons or other spirits. It was because their Angels failed to do their jobs, as did God himself.

The only benefit to this situation was that it could be a last-ditch effort to see if they could maintain stability on Earth. It wasn't as if they had control over everything anymore, either. They didn't know that was the case but it would become apparent in due time. They were going to burn themselves out before they realized the truth of the matter. This was a great situation because it was going to be the very vessel that would finally show them they failed. Maybe if they had cared from the start and tried to be involved from the get-go, it would have been different. But, this was the fault of the system that they had controlled and maintained.

When it collapsed, it was going to be their fault. It was going to be their fault and there was nothing that they could say about it or do about it. It was past the time that they could have done something about it. It was only a matter of time, and Rika was going to reclaim the new world when they failed to do what they set out to do. She was going to rebuild the world from the rubble left inside of the ashes; Like a Phoenix in bloom, she was going to come back from Hell within due time and they would know her name and the Devil that they created.

They would all know her name.

As Luciel stepped into the room with Jihyun at his side, she could do nothing but smile. “Luciel, I have a job for you that I won’t take no for an answer about. The Angels have finally made their move on the planet Earth. They’ve chosen a human to watch over and guard as if they’re worthwhile, and while it’s not clear why they’ve chosen this human… It's as clear as day that this one human means everything to them as it stands. If we want them to understand the severity of the situation, then we need to take care of this human, if you understand what I mean.”

Luciel glanced at Jihyun but the man merely looked down. He already knew what she was thinking, and admitting it out loud would be too much for him. Which was a shame, because he knew why it had to be done. “You want someone to get rid of the Angels on duty? If there's more of them than usual, then you would want to get rid of all of them in a display of our power, correct?”

“Oh, Luciel. You and I both understand that killing a few Angels doesn't get us anywhere. After all, plenty of them have been killed over the years and it's been glossed over by Heaven,” Rika chuckled. She rose from her chair and beckoned him forward to take his place at her heel. Luciel did as she had ordered since he had no choice but to obey, either. “What I want you to do is get rid of their human during the party they’re holding. I want you to make a spectacle of them that they’ll never forget as long as they exist. I want the blood to be on the walls and Heaven to understand their position from now on. I want you to be the one to do it, and I want them to see your face when it happens. Oh, isn't that a grand idea? It will show them their mistake of letting you rot. Hahaha… haha.”

His expression flickered through discomfort and then flatness, “My Queen, humans are killed all of the time by demons. It’s happening as we speak. I don't think killing one in front of them will do much to make a difference. They already understand humans are going to die. They've watched it happen since the dawn of time, what is the difference in the situation?”

“The difference is that they'll be seeing it happen firsthand by a demon. They've never been challenged in that way before. They like to imagine that they have control over us. They like to believe that a single touch from their hand can destroy us. But, they need to understand that our touch can be just as dangerous. They need to understand that they're not going to control or bend us to the way that they exist. No, we're going to change and dismantle everything. They no longer get to decide who lives or dies first. We decide fate now. You will destroy their party. You will kill the human. You will make sure that they understand. They need to pay for their misdeeds since the dawn of time and their reminder will be the life of one human. That’s not much to Heaven, they’ve done it before and they’ll do it one more time if they want. Don't get cold feet, you’re a demon now. You will do as the Devil commands.”

His silence was very telling. Thus far, she’d been letting him do whatever he wanted to do as long as he continued to ensure that everyone was following her as needed. It was a simple job. Anyone could do it with ease. That would continue as long as he would make good on his end of the bargain. All he had to do was what he already had done over and over again.

His hands were already stained red with the blood of humanity.

That was nothing in the grand scheme of things. After all, the sect that followed Jesus knew that it was one sacrifice that had given them their belief, those humans understood the loss, and plenty of others knew that to be the case as well in their faiths. If the act of getting rid of one person could save more of them, plenty of people would sacrifice the one.

It was one more death in his hands.

“Is that clear?”

What was one more after hundreds that he willfully took away?

“Yes, ma’am.”

Her magic would bind him to do what was needed regardless of his consent.

10 notes · View notes

ageof9thhouse · 4 years

Photo

Signs in the Eighth House

Just as the number 8, the 8th house is where one’s karma lies. In the broader sense, this karma could be anything, hence the reason for this house to be called “mysterious”. It is not exactly known to the person where their karma comes from or where it is going. Since it is the opposite of the 2nd house, where one’s parents’ love and care for each other is specified, the 8th house symbolises the trigger point which caused that love or relationship in general. Meaning, the sexual and the passionate energy. The 2nd house is the comfort zone of people and the relationship with the tangible environment. Meanwhile the 8th house is the psychology, the relationships between the heart and soul and the karma carried out through the parents. The planet Pluto is the ruler of this house. Pluto, in Greek Mythology, is known as the God of the Underworld, Hades. Hades was the first son of Kronos and the first to be swallowed by him. Together with his siblings they banished their father and with Zeus and Poseidon, they drew lots to see who would rule each realm… Hades got the underworld fittingly as his name means “the unseen one”. He was also known as the God of wealth because all the precious metals buried deep in the earth were in his kingdom. Hades is the ruler of the dead but he isn’t death itself. Thus, while he “drinks tears like wine” he does not kill anyone. He is simply the host of the dead and the torubled souls. His realm is a place of freedom from the pain of the world and his Queen, Persephone offers rebirth and a blessed afterlife. But we all know that he kidnapped her even though she fell in love with him later on (a case of Stockholm Syndrome). Hades, even though one of the more humble of the Gods when he wanted something he made sure he got it. Together with his queen they represent life and death and the cycles of nature —and the 8th house represents the transformations we are bound to go through no matter how painful. In the end we rise from the ashes better and richer (soul-wise) than ever. Self-mastery involves shadow work with your lower drives. If you fail to master this energy, it will master you. In other words, the unconscious will run your life from behind the scenes and work itself out through fate. This often manifests as obsessions and compulsions and events over which you have no conscious control which can be seen in one’s 8th house.

♈︎Aries / Mars in the 8th House:

Aries/Mars here is in his big brother’s house so he does not feel too unwelcome here maybe feels a little clumsy not knowing how to deal with such power all of a sudden. The person with this placement is ever seeking ways of personal transformation. Starting with new projects or just anything new is their superpower. However, not being able to finish those passion projects is the cost of this power. When accepting the fact that chaos is inevitable and control is an illusion the person confronts their inner demons, only then the transformation really happens. Either one of the parents might have Aries in their charts (rising or sun). The karma coming from the parents is for the person to become fearless in the face of the new and taking the lead. After a psychological breakdown, the person is completely anew and fearless to start from fresh. Vengeance though can become the main drive and that is when the person needs to be careful. People with this aspect might attract a lot of Aries or Mars energies into their lives - from these energies, a karmic bond is established good or bad. Obsessions might include proving oneself to be the best at something and forcing other people to do whatever they think is the right thing. When they master the need to be always in control they are able to manifest good things into their lives.

♉︎Taurus / Venus (Day Chart) in the 8th House:

When the opposites fill the other one’s place it puts it out of balance. One’s mission is to maintain the peace which that balance is lacking. Taurus/Venus (Day) in a person’s 8th house may indicate that the superpower of this person is to make others feel comfortable and laid back. They put others at ease. The cost for this power is that the chart owners themselves feel uneasy and disturbed by outside interference constantly. This karma can only be eased down once the person starts to value and secure themselves. People-pleasing is something they are good at but not something that they necessarily should be doing. Since there is no sense of feeling secure or comfortable coming from within these people may obsess over material things in order to feed their starving subconscious. The more these people value things outside of their own being, the more backlash they receive from their inner selves. The karma coming from the parents is for the person to fall truly in love with themselves and care for their own well-being. Maybe as a child, they did not feel worthy of their parents. Perhaps one of the parents had Taurus in their sun or rising and could not manage that energy in its right element and they might also attract a lot of Taurus energy into their relationships - from these energies a karmic bond is established good or bad. However, overdoing this self-love once it is achieved obviously will have its consequences. Laziness and over-indulgence in the good things life has to offer will bite them back later on. When they find a balance between keeping their own peace meanwhile putting others' minds at ease as well, they will master the power of serenity.

♊︎Gemini / Mercury in the 8th House:

With this placement, there is this feeling of the “magician” going back to the tarot cards. A master manifestor once the person appreciates the duality within. In Buddhism, this is called “shunyata” the emptiness of inner and outer dharmas. Nothing can exist without everything else also existing. People with this placement must understand that we exist within a web of relationships and once it is well understood one must not misuse this power otherwise the consequences are hard to overcome. These people are blessed with powerful thoughts but depending on the intention set out through these thoughts their own manifestations can get the best of them. A great deal of cleansing of the subconscious is required for this placement since Mercury is a trickster who loves to challenge its subjects just for the sake of it. There are great power and karma carried through one’s words. These people can have an immense effect on other people’s subconscious as well. Through the exchange of thoughts, they blend with other people and if they did not master this power of theirs they can get lost in those people’s minds. The karma coming from the parents is for the person to watch out what kind of intention they put out to the universe through their interaction with other people. Perhaps one of the parents had Gemini in their sun or rising and could not manage that energy in its right element. People with this placement might also attract a lot of Mercury energy into their relationships - from these energies, a karmic bond is established good or bad. These people also gotta be careful about obsessive thought patterns and delving too deep into the matters. The thing they are most passionate about is certainly understanding the unknown but some things are just simply beyond our comprehension

♋︎Cancer / Moon in the 8th House:

Moon is our mother, sense of security and our ancestors. There is a great deal of karma coming from the person’s past. They are deeply connected to it and they are very curious about it as well. Their power is to build such strong connections with people and giving them their sincerity. The cost of this gift though is the fact that most people they give this nurturing energy to might have had banished them in their life before. There is a great fear of abandonment coming from being too attached to people since they have had been left behind before (perhaps by the mother herself). These people might find the solution in never attaching to people ever again but in fact they must build a strong intuition in order to allow the right people in their lives. Otherwise, a sinister feeling inside will sprout because they do not feel the same warmth coming from other people that they think they themselves expose. Forgiveness is a big theme here. They have to learn to forgive the past and not devolve too much into it. Compassion will be their best friend when it comes to fighting off their inner demons which especially come up when they feel the most vulnerable. The karma coming from the parents is for the person to not treat their emotions as if they are burdens and learn to forgive their past troubles and maybe even the parents themselves. These people should learn to not to obsess over the past. Perhaps one of the parents had Cancer in their sun or rising and could not manage that energy in its right element. People with this placement might also attract a lot of Cancerian energy into their relationships - from these energies, a karmic bond is established good or bad.

♌︎Leo / Sun in the 8th House:

When Apollo comes to give light to a house that wants to stay in the dark, tensions are high. These people may want to keep their own self identity under shadows. Something significant may have had appeared in their childhood which caused the child to grow too soon and as an adult now the child within is suppressed down to the subconscious. Their own psychology is a matter these people are highly interested in understanding. They like to put light on things that are hidden from them even when they are not ready to see things as clearly as they are. They like to think of themselves as strong people who can handle any psychological or emotional burden which they are and it is their power but they tend to push things too far to the point of they can no longer handle the load. They have got to learn to let other people in so that they can ease the heaviness of their own emotional baggage. Once they let the child within to come out and play they are bestowed with very strong creativity and positivity. Free self-expression will be their escape from their own darker demons and allowing themselves to play. These people are obsessed with other people’s talents and the way they carry themselves - but once they let go of their control on emotions and let their joy run free, they will see themselves become just that. The karma coming from the parents is for the person to take care of the child within. Maybe the parents were not the best at allowing the kids to be kids and asked too much of them hence they had to grow up way too early. Perhaps one of the parents had Leo in their sun or rising and could not manage that energy in its right element. People with this placement might also attract a lot of Leo energy into their relationships - from these energies a karmic bond is established good or bad.

♍︎Virgo / Ceres in the 8th House:

Deep within, there is a lot of anxious energy haunting the person of the chart which strives to be recognized. They tend to over-analyze everything that is happening but will most likely keep this to themselves since they do not like to be viewed “concerned” by other people. They are obsessed with solving problems to the point of disturbance in their own psychology. They have immense powers of healing and finding solutions but the cost of this power is an out of control feeling of being uneasy or unsafe. Through meditation and being open to spiritual matters they can ease this feeling but these are highly skeptical and practical people. They tend to stay in their own way of their journey to mindfulness. They are fascinated by other people’s concerns and problems that they tend to forget their own which only makes their personal matters worst. They have great karma when it comes to dealings of allowing things to be and not interfering with them. The karma coming from the parents is for the person to take care of their own well being and consciousness. Perhaps, as a child, they weren’t properly taken care of by their parents and the roles were reversed in a way. They wanted to fix or heal their parents their whole life but maybe did not get the chance to do that so they are passionate about doing this for other people. One of the parents might have Virgo as their sun or rising sign and these people tend to attract a lot of Virgo energy into their relationships for them to learn karmic lessons.

♎︎Libra / Venus (Night Chart) in the 8th House:

People with this placement have got a lot of subtle but potent influence on other people through one on one interactions. They have the power of attracting anyone into their lives and easing their emotional burdens as well. The cost of this superpower though is that if they are not careful with their intentions about the core reason why they want to have an influence on this particular person they might take on their bad karma as their own and obviously no one wants that. Each relationship transforms the person for the better but sometimes the worst. They might feel an intense bond with almost everybody in their lives and this will take a toll on them psychologically. They are also likely to have people obsess over them to point of claiming ownership over them. And another theme with an obsession with these people is that they themselves might obsess over being liked by everyone. They are passionate about peace and harmony and are willing to do anything in order to maintain it even if it means sacrificing one’s free will. The karma coming from the parents is for the person to practice and teach good manners and bring harmony into relationships. Perhaps, the parents were in an inharmonious relationship in which the two fought a lot without ever trying to bring peace into the situation between them. One of the parents might have Libra as their sun or rising sign and these people tend to attract a lot of Venusian energy into their relationships for them to learn karmic lessons.

♏︎Scorpio / Pluto in the 8th House:

The lord of the underworld here is in his full power and in the comfort of his home he is not willing to hold anything back. Scorpio is in search of emotional power and the mysteries of life and death. This cycle between the two is neither good or bad, - it’s the part of nature that demands change and evolution. And the biggest thing with Hades’s character is that no matter what you cannot negotiate with him. The biggest karmic lesson with this placement is to surrender. These people’s power is about using their soul’s energy to transform the self through a confrontation with the powers of the unconscious. The goal is to overcome death and dissolution and avoid falling back into chaos and unconsciousness. Not the easiest of the tasks but the rewards are definitely worth it as Hades is also the Lord of the riches. To enter the darkness and heal the split in your psyche – the wound at the heart of being human – the pain of being conscious is the lesson one taken over from their parents. Perhaps, the parents were in denial of their subconscious’ scream for help and kept their demons hidden away which only caused them to go down a road of spiral. One of the parents might have Scorpio as their sun or rising sign and the chart owners tens to attract a lot of Scorpio energy into their relationships for them to learn their karmic lessons.

♐︎Sagittarius / Jupiter in the 8th House:

The nature of Sagittarius is to be free and in this placement that is the request from the chart owner’s psychology. These are very passionate people who are the rulers of their own territories. They have the gift to find their way to enlightenment and higher knowledge of the truth once they open up their horizons. The biggest karma for them is that it is hard for them to open their minds to things but once they do they are ready to be fired into the future. They are obsessed with the idea of living life to its fullest but there is a tendency to overdo it. Too much of the unrealistic optimism results in facing the harsh reality of the world which leads them to a dark place where they feel trapped within their own minds. They tend to curse their own fate and shun the universe whenever their high expectations are not met. They have to come in peace with the reality of being human in an imperfect world. But the pain of the wound creates wisdom if they can accept and work with it. The karma coming from the parents is for the person to discover the truth of a human’s immortal soul that releases us from the wheel of birth and death – the quest for enlightenment. Perhaps the chart owner comes from a lineage of teachers who couldn’t finish this task. One of the parents might have Sagittarius as their sun or rising sign and these people tend to attract a lot of Sagittarius energy into their relationships for them to learn karmic lessons. For them to free themselves from their emotional burdens they need to open their minds up and accept the good and the bad universe has to offer and offer help to others to learn their lessons.

♑︎Capricorn / Saturn in the 8th House:

When the sign of harsh lessons and the house of karmic lessons unite their powers the person with the placement meant to go through a lot but in the end, they come out of this struggle of perfecting a human as a dextrous being. The native goes through a lot of challenges which require self-mastery. They crumble down to the ground and build themselves up again, each time they end up more solid and wise. The person is bestowed with great wisdom beyond their years but the universe always demands them to renew themselves so their lives and self-identity suffer from reoccurring earthquakes. They are obsessed with being the best at everything they can and in the meantime influencing other people. They might be especially obsessed with impressing their father and their own father might be their biggest competition in some extreme cases their enemy. In Greek mythology, Capricorn is the Father Time, Kronos… The one who swallowed Hades (and the rest of his children) only to be overthrown by them in the end as it was predicted. The biggest lesson for this person is that they cannot change the outcome but they are sure to be changed by the outcome. The karma these people had inherited from their parents is that the old way of things must be periodically overthrown so that life can be renewed. Perhaps the owner of the chart had parents who were too controlling and stuck in the same cycles and it is up to them to break this cycle so that progression can happen. Meanwhile, they have got to learn to build a solid structure for them so that they will not be damaged when their world is shaken up as it is their karma. One of the parents might have Capricorn as their sun or rising sign and these people tend to attract a lot of Capricorn energy into their relationships for them to learn karmic lessons.

♒︎Aquarius / Uranus in the 8th House:

People with this placement are passionate about feeling united with other people. They tend to attract a lot of friends into their lives and they themselves are very understanding friends but the cost of this is that in order to keep their social circle they tend to either conform to their needs. In order to feel like a part of the group, they know exactly what to do but this also means they often step out of their way to become a part of it. Their biggest fear being, feeling unaccepted they are very accepting of other people and when they work on their people skills these people are very good at influencing others. They are humanists with morals. Their karma will work against them when they deliberately deny these morals in order to please others. The karma they inherited from their parents is to increase in moral consciousness in other people as well as themselves of course. Perhaps the parents were oblivious to other peoples’ issues. One of the parents may have had Aquarius as their sun or rising but was not able to manage its aim of uniting the people and recognizing that all beings are interconnected. With this comes a great deal of empathy with others comes into play. The person has to learn to control this nature of an empath for it is hard for them to distinguish their own emotions and thoughts from the rest.

♓︎Pisces / Neptune in the 8th House:

People who have this placement tend to underestimate the power of their psyche and subconscious in their everyday life. If the mind is in a good state they have the power to manifest good things into their life, if it is in a bad state though, they bring hell down to earth for themselves. The universe asks of them to be conscious of their subconscious, joining of two worlds: the divine and the human. These people are creative in nature and have to take care of their inner world instead of running from it. With a power of great manifestations comes great responsibility for one’s soul journey. As the Pisces energy can be creative and imaginative, as well as dark and destructive. Lurking in the unconscious, always threatening to overwhelm the ordered structures of life. Being this close to the abyss would make anybody nervous and we all know Pisces often tries to avoid a confrontation. But the thing is the forces of the unconscious are usually only dangerous when they’re repressed or denied. And this is the karma the chart owner inherited from their parents who might have Pisces as their sun or rising but could not deal with the Piscean nature, hence it is now both the blessing and the curse (if it is not dealt with careful) of the child. The Pisces fish are a symbol of spiritual liberation, they show the happiness and freedom of the soul swimming in the waters of nirvana. There’s no need to struggle or swim against the tide. People with this placement tend to attract a lot of Piscean energies into their lives to learn and teach karmic lessons.

(Art: “Ixion Thrown into Hades” by Jules-Élie Delaunay)

6K notes · View notes

practicalmagicintuitions · 3 years

Text

HC and NV relationship - 3 months forecast.

DISCLAIMER: If you will send me an Anon, I will answer in the same tone as your ask, opinion is written.

All information and statements made in this reading or any other post of mine are all alleged until proven to be fact and for entertainment purposes & usage only. All information stated is based on my intuition and my tarot cards. Opinion only. The readings have no intention to cause any harm to the individuals, people featured in it.

August

7 of Pentacles, The Hanged Man

These 2 cards are very interesting to me to see next to each other because both have a similar feeling. Based on those cards I would say seemingly their August will be still or boring, but under the surface the changes are there. Both cards mean reflecting, having a different point of view.

7ofP originally could mean that you made the work in the past and now you are waiting for the harvest, the fruits of your work. The card analogy and imagery is basically gardening. You put the seed in the ground and now you have to wait. I told you about this card before, how interesting it is, how 50/50 of its “reputation”. Someone thinks it's a positive card, someone is on the “not that bad but dull” side. For me it’s not the worst, not the best card, it is definitely interesting, you have to work with it. In a relationship however, I feel it means waiting. Waiting for some change but I personally feel there is not much hope in this. Like the situation maybe, potentially hopeful, but the figure on the card doesn’t have high hopes. Or he doesn’t appreciate what they achieved by hard work.

The other thing is, because Pentacles are material goods too, and it’s a relationship reading it could mean they are saving money for something bigger. Normally I would say it’s about saving for a house together or a wedding so for a life together, but the whole reading doesn’t support this. So even if in August something bigger is on the table financially, I don’t see this in their September-October. So the rest of the reading doesn't support this forward, but we will see. Maybe this is one aspect of the relationship The Hanged Man is referring to. This card is again, a new perspective, reflection, make some sacrifice too. So it could be that one of them or both of them are thinking about the financial basis of their relationship like, make it stronger by buying something together? Or shouldn’t do that because it’s not the right move, etc. The Hanged Man could mean one of them (or both) are not satisfied with the pace or the level of the commitment of the relationship.

It also could mean a relationship is on pause. So based on that I am not sure NV will go to the UK in August. He is there, probably for shooting, for work… real one, not FL one, and probably NV has his own job to do, so it could mean she cannot join.

In a more negative sense, it’s a fragile moment in a relationship, being neglected or both parties neglect the relationship.

And 7ofP is basically doing nothing just waiting. It could mean the start of a relationship was good, you two clicked and you thought that’s it. But that is not it. Not the end. You have to work on a relationship no matter how amazing it was the start.

September.

Usually, I pull only 2 cards for each month. I don’t want to complicate it and in the past, it worked quite well in the HC-NV readings. I already pulled my first when 3 cards popped up. I was hesitant a little, especially because those were face down so I could put them back easily, but my own rule is I keep 1-2-3 flying cards and I am only putting back if it is more than 3. So we have 4 cards reading here.

My first card was the Page of Pentacles. I have an unpublished reading on NV where I got this card and I felt it’s a meal ticket for her, like something she wants to secure herself. I don’t have this impression now, you should know by now cards mean many things and I don’t really see this in the surrounding cards.

Pages are messengers, they are the bottom of the Court food chain. And the Pentacles is the slowest amongst them. Which basically supports all I got for August. The slowness, the thinking, planning. It has very strong thinking about the future, goals are being set meaning. It’s also not an emotional card that deals with more security than emotions.

I think this is the continuity of August's realisations. I found it interesting that we have 2 pentacles cards in a relationship reading and both have the thinking, planning aspect which is more like the Swords suit. So I think even though it’s a relationship reading it deals with the material side of it too or the time aspect. How much time they are willing to sacrifice for each other and for this relationship.

Judgment, 2 of Cups rx, 3 of Swords.

Those cards fell off from the deck during shuffling.

Judgment is transformations, rebirths, karmic relationships. It also listens to an inner voice, inner call and I think this is important that the PoP is a messenger. It’s a wake-up call you cannot ignore. It’s a heavy card, but I am sure you already know this. It also means you are getting from a relationship what you are put into it. If you put little in it or jealousy, you will get back those. A major decision when you are considering the past (again, correlates with the 7ofP) when you make a decision in terms of the future. Moving on, starting fresh, turning pages. Those are all the Judgment.

I think with all of the revelations and wake up calls he will realize that the emotions, in the beginning, are not evolved into something else, something deeper. I got Page of cups 2 times as to how he felt towards her in the beginning and I said it was the puppy love, the teenage emotions. Now it seems he will understand it’s not any deeper than that. I know I am talking about him and how he feels even though it’s a combined reading but I feel this is about him.

2 of Cups rx could highlight various problems in a relationship, this emotion is “reversed” blocked because they are incompatible emotionally or there is disharmony, etc. The point is, it’s not a good card in a relationship.

And top of that the 3 of Swords…. I think this card could be both of them feeling some sort of heartbreak because the relationship is not what they thought in the beginning, but the Judgment is absolutely HC. I see from the very beginning that he has to make a decision, he has to call off the relationship because NV won’t go away. Probably this is the time for him to understand that after a period of reflection. But that doesn’t mean he won’t be affected by it and she will have some sort of heartbreak too.

Well, this is the interesting part, because 3ofSw is a classical heartbreak card ,because of its bland representation ( a heart with 3 swords in it) and this is still is, but because Swords are dealing with the mind, the intellect, this heartbreak could someone which comes from the mind.

What do I mean?

I mean overthinking, obsessing over thoughts, that we can have something together, or my ex will come back to me or when one built a whole life together with someone in their mind after a few months of dating, and in the end this house of cards just collapses.

It could represent both of them or just one of them to have those illusions, thoughts, but then the wakeup call of the Judgment hit them hard.

Since I am working with tarot on this blog I feel more and more that 3ofSw is a heartbreak but not necessarily a betrayal, cheating etc. It’s a heartbreak we mainly cause to ourselves. This doesn’t mean the others are blameless, but we have cards for that. I think 3ofSw is when you build your house on sand or your life on dreams and it collapses. Or someone hurts us with words. Words are the sharpest weapon, this card shows it perfectly ( swords - air - thoughts in tarot).

October.

Magician, The Hierophant rx.

Very interesting pair, had to focus on them a little. Both major arcanas,with one powerful male figure in the focus.

People usually love the Magician card and I do in other decks but not here. The classic RWS’s Magician is more like a trickster to me. A powerful one who is selling tricks and offering illusions. In a relationship it’s someone who is playing games. It could even be a disappearing act like on stage. Now I am here, you can see me, and then, you cannot.

Magician is also about communication. Once I read it could be about internet based communication and I find this interesting here. So I can see 2 options.

One of them is that they are continuing this relationship but struggling. Making an effort to keep the relationship without attachments. It could mean having a breakup but somehow maintaining the relationship on a non conventional level. Hierophant reversed is anything which is not a conventional relationship (conventional in terms of tarot of course, those were not conventional or didn’t exist when tarot was formed). So it could be a relationship without marrige, same sex marrige, open relationship etc. So even though I see breakup that doesn’t mean an instant separation or cutting ties completely, not if he is continuing to “keep back to exes because it’s easier” And in the October cards I don’t really see that NV has any influence or power what will happen. I think it’s very much of the outcome of the Judgment’s revelation and wake up call which is about him.

The other thing I see is that they have a breakup and one of them or both (separately obviously) are going back to the internet to date people, the internet as a non usual dating method. Or in the most drastic scenario I see a ghosting and this is about the Magician’s disappearing act in a cloud of smoke.

We have 3 more cards, this is the only thing I did differently in this reading. I pulled one card for HC and NV represents them during the whole reading and we have a bottom of the deck card. Let’s see the personal ones first. (very briefly)

NV - Knight of Pentacles rx

When this card is upright it is dull but loyal, hard working. No sparks, surprises, but stability, you know what you get with them. When it’s reversed, they are overly materialistic but lazy at the same time. The loyalty is not there anymore. Keep it mind you can be disloyal in many ways this does not necessarily mean physical cheating. As the PofP the KnofP is looking into the pentacle too, planning the future. So rx it could mean this knight is not really making plans or more likely doesn’t really understand the plan he makes won’t be long term. And this is again, 3ofSw… building dreams on something which is false. This knight is also impractical. Let’s see this, she was flying back and forth to him and probably she should continue this to keep the relationship alive. But this seems one sided and she has her own job, so I don’t see this as a practical solution Especially not in the middle of covid.

It also means that she thinks the relationship is boring, lacking any romance but she still takes this relationship for granted. Since pentacles are about resources and owning something I see a strong possessive attitude in this (unhealthy one). I think she really thinks this relationship is hers. She is on the high horse in terms of this.

HC 4 of wands reversed

He is insecure. As I remember I got this card once and I said there is some problem on the home front, that maybe it's still there. The feeling of not belonging. Because this is a relationship reading I think those feelings are for NV. This fits with the Hierophant rx and with the whole reading basically. He feels there is no solid foundation. Unsettling feeling, disharmony, happiness is gone. It also means he doesn't want to make a serious commitment.

And our last card from the bottom of the deck is the 8 of Cups.

This is also a classic breakup card as it means letting go, losing interest and walking away. It also has a realization that you are missing something and you need to change, leaving something behind. This is a soul searching, self discovery card however, I don’t feel this is a strong theme here. I just don’t think this whole NV fiasco will touch HC on a deep, soul level, not even we have the Judgment. I hope I am not right here. As this card indicates travel physical or inner one, so it could mean taking some therapy, leaving an emotional baggage behind. Means you have strength to leave an emotionally unfulfilling and unhappy relationship behind. It also means you are withdraw from a turbulent, dramatic situations like this whole relationship with NV.

I could go on for pages but all in all we have a strong theme of realization, not wanting to make commitments and breaking up, walking away. I don’t have any really hopeful cards, but this is not surprising, I’ve never got any happy cards tbh.

This is what I get, we will see. So many things will go under the surface, so probably we won’t know many things because it won’t be spectacular in any sense.

My wee community announcement is that I will take a break from the HC reading for I don’t know how long. I will just watch this facade and do reading on others. But I will keep continuing to discuss HC and this relationship here. If anyone is interested or has something to say, go on. I am here for it.

I hope you enjoyed this reading. Have a nice, blessed August.

#pmitarotreadings #tarot #tarotreading #opinion #allegedly #henry cavill #henry cavill girlfriend #natalie viscuso #celebrity tarot #sam heughan

54 notes · View notes

makingspiritualityreal · 3 years

Photo

Numerology Life Path 1 - Your Birth Card and its Ruling Planet

Numerology Life Path Numbers and their assigned Tarot Card Meaning Series

This is the first post in my astrology/numerology/tarot series, that only concerns you, if you are a Life Path 1. Posts on consecutive Life Path Numbers will follow. Originally, I wanted to do them all in one post, but my writing turned out to be so long, I decided to split the post and seperate the Life Path Numbers. The introduction part of the post will be the same for all Life Path Numbers, in case you only read a post about your own Life Path Number, and nothing else.

Introduction

The concept of a Birth Card links Tarot and Numerology together, in order to deepen our understanding of a vibration of a Life Path Number we are born with. The Birth Card, or rather Birth Cards, are Major Arcana Tarot Cards with assigned numbers, which correlate with Life Path Numbers. Understanding the meaning of tarot cards, mixed with the knowledge of Numerology Vibrations, helps create a more unique vision of your life experience.

A person with any given Life Path Number, having several Major Arcana energies present in their lives, usually struggles with one of the energies more than the other. As a result, life will probably force them to focus on mastering one of these energies. In general, however, any Life Path describes both your biggest downfall and ultimate triumph - just like with an Astrology Chart, the highlighted numbers/astrology houses point to your biggest strengths and weaknesses. For a better understanding of this concept, visit my article “Natal Chart - A map of your issues?”

Remember, that everyone, besides their Life Path Number and Birth Card also has a unique astrology chart. Thus, for some people embracing the higher expression of their energy is easier, for others it’s harder and it takes more time to master, and some energies become easier to deal with than others. Most human beings are somewhere in between, working on their path and having some achievements while struggling with difficulties at the same time

In the spiritual community, there are differences in opinion on linking Astrological Planets and positions to specific numerology numbers energies. My take is a result of my own personal experience, conversations with other people in my field and research, in order to give you the widest possible spectrum of ideas and increase the understanding of every Life Path Number.

If you are a Master Number 11, 22 or 33, there will be a seperate post on how the Birth Cards apply to you as well.

Even If you have only a basic understanding of Astrology, Tarot or Numerology, this post will still be helpful to you, because it describes the unique vibrational mix that comes from the expression of both these spiritual sciences mixed together. To calculate which Tarot Cards and what Life Path correspond to your birthday, click here.

Life Path 1 - The Wheel of Fortune, the Sun and the Magician

One of the biggest struggles of a Life Path 1 is their need to release control patterns, and instead channel them into direction and embrace their own unique path through allowing themselves to be different and authentic. This requires these people to accept an element of faith in their lives, because as a pioneer, they won’t have any easy, familiar, logical guidelines or role models to follow. They have to learn how to identify, trust and listen to and follow their inner voice. That intuitive voice then leads them to a creative manifestation of their life path, as they become a trendsetter, leader and guide for others. Faith in their case means believing in themselves and their path, even if they can’t see a precise outline, and even if they have noone to validate their vision.

Being born with this life path brings with it issues of the opposite nature to its purpose, before these natives manage to step into their unique creative or leadership position. These people may face rejection, ostracism and lack of acceptance for who they are, they may be rejected for not fitting in, for being “different” and misunderstood, starting with their family circle. This brings out the shadow side of the life path 1, which is practicing control, conformism and people pleasing, while they close off their heart and hide away from following their path. This can happen especially if they carry lingering intense trauma from all the rejection and possible abandonment they faced early on in their lives. Difficult situations can lead a Life Path 1 to adopt a coping strategy - while they people-please on the surface, they maintain tight, even repressive control underneath, which creates internal emotional blockages that result in selfishness, self centeredness, lack of openness and nervous tension.

As much as these behaviors come from a place of suffering, the illusion of people pleasing that an unhappy Life Path 1 can create can have little to do with actual caring for others or forming bonds, since it is performed out of a need for self protection, not out of love. A hurt life Path 1 succumbs to a false belief, that the world is against them, and that everyone only cares for themselves. As a result, their emotional unavailability can create a high level of internalised loneliness due to icing out or hurting those, who actually care for them. Yet, even a suffering version of a Life Path 1, despite their individualistic streak deeply craves people validating their mission in this lifetime. If not worked on, this internal emotional blockage can stop these people from blossoming and stepping into their authentic role.

To look into the ultimate expression that can be performed by a Life Path 1, we look at the assigned Tarot Birth Cards.

The Magician - Being the Number 1 in Tarot, the Magician pertains to this Life Path having an ability to create and manifest their own, individual unique path, without needing to follow others, but rather inspiring others to follow them. The Magician being linked to the ultimate manifestation skill, does so easily because he trusts his gut instinct, and the path simply appears right in front of his eyes due to his own instantaneous, energetic creation. For better or for worse, Life Path 1s have that power, whether they realise it or not. Being such skillful manifestors, they can use it either to build, or to attract and recreate painful events, as long as it’s necessary for them to heal. This points to an essential question every Life Path 1 should ask themselves on the daily - what inside me has created this outcome? Which one of my internal decisions and emotional reactions has resulted in this situation? How did I subconsciously manifest this outcome? Life Path 1s are living proof, of how each and every one of us is an architect of our energetic reality, and how we always have a possibility to manifest a new beginning. A Life Path 1 that embraced this skill is someone, who effortlessly wields their creation power as an art of living.

The Wheel of Fortune - This card points to the necessity for this Life Path to be able to learn how to handle life’s unpredictable situations, and not lose themselves in their false coping control mechanisms as a result of the shock. The Wheel of Fortune is a card of Fate, a card of sudden, unexpected events, that we have no influence over, but also the card of hopeful new beginnings, the understanding, that even the most dire situation can turn around. This card shows us, that the Universe is a balancing force, that works towards harmony by intervening in necessary moments, no matter how unpleasant these changes may seem to us, and that we can’t know, plan or influence everything with our limited perspective. This card is a projection of the internal faith, that a Life Path 1 must preserve in order to continue on their path with limited external support. The Wheel of Fortune shows us, that we need to surrender to the events happening around us, try to understand the meaning behind them, and make the most out of them. This also links to the Magician ability of creating something substantial even in the most difficult circumstances. These are all important lessons for a Life Path 1, that can resist certain events, if it feels they happened outside of their pre-approved plan. However, a matured Life Path 1 views these twists and turns of faith as new opportunities, that allow them to go even further and achieve more in life, because they know sometimes a shake-up is a wake up call.

The Sun - Teaches the Life Path 1 individual, how to embrace the carefree, free-spirited nature of this Tarot Card. This is necessary, in order to be able to breeze through life and not stop in one’s pursuit, even in the face of external disapproval. Number 1 is also ruled by the Sun astrologically, especially the positive, warming, leadership aspect, that makes people feel cared for in its own, unique way. This describes the role, that a Life Path 1 can have in their community, when they communicate with it from an authentic, open heart space. The key here is honesty with oneself and uninhibited self expression.

Being such an individualistic life path, in Number 1 there is a level of solitary, internal work that always needs to be done, even if it’s performed in response to someone else’s advice or support. The struggle here is mostly internal, as it is a constant battle of being able to have clarity of vision, a fight for how things “should be” and a challenge of embracing how things actually are. As they grow older, Life Path 1s gain understanding, that most of the guidelines they lived by are false mechanisms, adopted from an early environment that was constantly trying to constrict their internal growth. When they mature, they let these restrictions go, and unapologetically follow the calling of their soul.

The path of being a pioneer is an uncharted territory, a battle through obstacles, that does however bring an ultimate victory, if one embraces the challenges and powers through them. All pioneers are call madmen, before they are called geniuses.

#astrology #numerology #tarot #making spirituality real #the sun #the magician #tarot cards #tarot deck #tarotonline #the wheel of fortune #sun #natal chart #astrology chart #zodiac signs #zodiac #astrology signs #life path #life path 1 #astrological houses

122 notes · View notes

beautifulterriblequeen · 3 years

Text

B2:S - Chapter 5

Much of this series will be about the differences and additions in the novel version, and how they contribute to my understanding of story canon. But there will be character appreciation, the odd theory and headcanon, and suchlike as well.

Here be lots of Viren deets, Best Boy Soren deets, some writing/continuity stuff, worldbuilding appreciation and half of a theory, Detective Rayla, Moon Temple geeking, Claudium and dark magic, and more!

Spoilers for Book Two: Sky below.

(I know for darn sure that I wrote up a post for chapter 4, but I can't find it anywhere so I guess Tumblr ate it and I'll have to redo it at some point, but today is not that day)

Viren, my evil dude, my bad guy, coming in clutch with the worldbuilding and backstory again! If you want to know decades of information, you gotta talk to Viren. Or read his scenes, at least. Here, he seems to not sleep much when he has a big problem to analyze his way through. Solutions trump pretty much everything else in this guy's life, and he's had a really hard week with a lot of new and complicated problems. Of course he's getting sleep-deprived trying to find his way through them all.

Harrow put so much trust in Viren when he made him High Mage! He just threw himself extra hard at that Lady Justice blindfold, didn't he? Didn't really want to see what Viren was doing in his magic study, so he left Viren to his devices. And Viren has a lot of devices.

Also, this is fascinating: Viren made the secret passage to his "less official study" in Katolis Castle! And he was inspired to do so by the way his own mentor kept the Puzzle House. What else could a Puzzle House be, except a place with secret passages? Yay! secret headcanon that "the Puzzle House" is just "Katolis Castle" from Kid Viren's perspective tho

So either Viren built all of those passageways, or at least the ones to his dungeon. Which means he has to have, or know where to get, a stash of those glowing blue Moonshadow crystals. Hmmm.

I can't wait to learn more about Kpp'Ar and young Viren, btw. From this description of Viren and all his literal secret ways, it feels like another parallel between Viren and Runaan, with the whole "secretive paths, members only, insider knowledge" type stuff. Only the really cool members of this cult club get to know the secrets, and guess what, kid, you're cool now but you can never tell anyone, okay? Our secret.

Yeahhh, that'll never backfire in any way for either of them.

Kpp'Ar calling puzzles and secrets "man-made magic," though. Yes sir, knowledge is indeed power.

This chapter mentions Runaan by name, from Viren's perspective. Generally that would imply that Viren knows his name, even though assassins do not share their names, and Runaan didn't seem to give his to Viren in the first book. However, there was a scene in book one where the last paragraph switched perspective from Viren to Runaan - a technique that's very common in visual media like movies and shows and gives you that "ohoho they left the room and didn't notice this, but you do!" vibe. Using Runaan's name there in book one, where Viren couldn't see it but readers could, helps them keep track of the assassin's story arc while maintaining Viren's racism.

So in book two, in which Runaan has no onscreen scenes (alas), using his name in a scene that calls back to the events in book one helps us remember what happened in that dungeon cell. It would be a bit muddier to recall the specifics if Viren kept thinking about Runaan as "Elf." So I'm cool with the perspective nudge because it serves a narrative purpose: clarity. But I'm also enjoying the angst of considering that, somehow, Viren learned Runaan's name either during or after the coining spell. Mwa ha ha haaa. (Obligatory "Keep my pretty name outta your mouth" goes here)

Okay, back to Viren's scheming! He took the mirror because it was human-sized in a dragon lair. He knew it didn't really fit there, and that made it interesting, so he stole it. But he realized it was really powerful when Runaan wouldn't tell him squat about it - the assassin's instinct to protect Xadian secrets from human hands meant that Viren was holding a very powerful Xadian secret. And that just made him want it all the more. Ah, Runaan, if only your relationship with lying was, like, the exact opposite of what it is. Nyx could've spun Viren a believable tale in 2 minutes flat.

Also of interest: Viren considers his cursed coins to be a final fate. He expects Runaan to remain in his coin forever. With the Chekhov's coins still extant in the storyline, we can assume that they'll come up again eventually, but Viren has no current plans to do anything with his elf money except carry it around.

It's worth noting that Viren admits that he got impatient when he trapped Runaan in the coin. Runaan's first fate in Katolis was supposed to be death at Soren's hands, but Claudia "saved" him from that. His next fate was to become spell components, but Viren's frustration with his stubbornness "saved" him from that fate, too. So now he's in a coin, where no one can chop him up at all. Yay? No, boo!

We get one last line about Runaan before Viren shifts gears: he makes a point of noting for us that Runaan's shackles are still locked shut. However much of Runaan made it into that coin - body, soul, hair care products - he was magicked there, pulled right out of his restraints.

The creepy black liquid that Viren pours right into his eyes is the last of a powerful potion he got from Kpp'Ar, and its recipe is ancient! Humans used it back in the age of Elarion to see through the illusions of the world. And we get a delightfully creepy bit of description about the preparation of this serum, which makes it abundantly clear that it's a Moon magic-based concoction, harvested from eyeless vipers on a moonless night, with the threat of irrevocable madness ("madness" by whose definition, though) if it's done wrong-

Hang on. Hold up. This is a Plato's Cave reference. OH MY GOD.

No no I'm fine, this is brilliant. Sorry, sorry, I couldn't figure why there was so much description for a potion prep that Viren didn't even have to perform himself. But now I get it. I see the light. HA. I should make a separate post for this, it's amazing.

Anyway, for reference, the humans who used this serum were called the Oracles of Ophidia, and Ophidia is a taxonomy group that includes all modern snakes. Can you say "creepy ancient snake rites"? I can! Woo!

Viren activates the serum with a spell, but apparently he's never done it before. He's not sure if it's supposed to be hot and bubbly, and he worries that it's been tainted by moonlight.

Oh, I do hope so.

The magic potion hurts, a lot. Viren will do just about anything, to himself or anyone, to do what he believes is necessary. He just risked madness and blindness to find out what this mirror does! Viren. Can you just. Take a nap or something. Have a Snickers.

This chapter gives us a fun clue that I don't remember from the show: when Viren's vision clears and he can see, his reflection has white pupils and the room reflected in the mirror has inverted colors. You know where else has inverted colors?

You know who else got white pupils for a hot second?

Okay, now it makes sense! Viren and Lujanne were both seeing into the realm beyond life and death. Him with his moon magic potion, and her with her moon powers on a full moon night at the Moon Nexus. Which is Very Interesting! Is it a direct hint about Aaravos's location, or just a separate cool detail? Orrr, does it look like a direct hint because Aaravos is actually trapped in the world beyond life and death, but it's actually separate and we'll see something about white pupils again later on?

Viren really does have self-esteem issues, we all picked up on it with his rant at his reflection. He throws a fit when he catches himself wondering if he's actually worthless. In the book version of his tantrum, he shoves the mirror and hurls a candelabra instead of flipping a table. He didn't need to shove the mirror to set the fire, but it's in here. Foreshadowing that perhaps, if push comes to shove, Viren will choose himself over Aaravos? Giving Aaravos time to peek through and see that the coast is clear?

Soren, my boyyyyy. He has a rough night at the Moon Nexus because two sides of him are fighting with each other. He struggles to understand Callum's friendship with Rayla, and he also fantasizes about chopping off Rayla's head. One of these is a pretty ordinary thing to do. The other is Soren's internalization of what he needs to do to gain his father's approval. If he brought his dad a chopped off elf head every week, he'd probably feel a lot more confident because Viren would praise him a lot more.

Okay, okay, omg, is it just me, or does the "Moonshadow Madness" story, as it's told in the book, seem like Soren just doesn't know what a monsterfucker is? He thinks an elf bite puts humans under a spell. But vampires are sexy, and some people want them to do more to them than just bite them. A passionate kiss under the moonlight could look very bitey, especially if one of the participants has horns and you're already culturally trained to hate them. No yeah, I'm already headcanoning an actual human-elf kiss that got misunderstood by an observer long ago.

it's Lujanne isn't it, we all know, because what is a love spell but a sweet soft illusion, I mean how else does she get supplies for her Caldera, I ask you, and also Corvus was totally sent to investigate once and he told Soren at camp what he saw

And then back to magefam angst: Soren pretending that his sister's nose-tapping is stupid, even though he actually thinks it's cool, just because their dad thinks it's stupid. Viren, istg. Let your kids like harmless things. It's so cute that Soren taps his nose back at her, though! Like they have their own sibling code. I hope we get to see the nose tap again, especially now that they've chosen different sides. It could mean so much, that they're not too far apart yet.

Rayla knows what buttery pancakes smell like. I love this. Do Moonshadow elves have butter and pancakes, does Rayla eat a stack of eight giant pancakes in the morning? Orrrr it is just illusion food? I don't care, let Rayla have pancakes! Everyone loves pancakes. Pancakes will save the world. this message brought to you by the fact that I can't eat pancakes rn, send help

I love that Rayla is both sus of the pancakes and hungry, and that combines into a very motivated "I will get to the bottom of this" attitude. She kind of goes into Poirot Mode when she inserts herself into Soren and Ellis's conversation about Ava, explaining about the wolf's illusion leg and segueing into her claim that the pancakes taste sus. Claudia confirms she used dark magic, and Rayla is furious. It's different than the show's version in that it puts Rayla in detective mode, as the only Moonshadow elf in the scene, and boy does she take that role seriously. Also, she doesn't actually swallow the dark magic pancake bite. It ends up on the ground just like Lujanne's grubs from that earlier meal. These poor kids are so nutrient-starved. You guys gotta eat!!

Rayla's determination and prejudices and the fact that she super knows Harrow is dead all dovetail to make her try repeatedly to persuade Callum that Soren and Claudia are Not To Be Trusted. It's nice that the book keeps taking the time to point out that Rayla is Well Intentioned But Flawed, just like Callum and pretty much every other character in the show. No one is Right All The Time, no one Knows More Than Everyone Else.

Callum loving the sound of Claudia's unique voice is so wholesome. When you like someone, it only makes sense that you like all the things about them that they can't change - like the sound of Claudia's voice. Her choices with dark magic, not so much!

Claudia seems to have the same concerns Soren does about Callum's relationship with Rayla, but she comes out and asks him. The inherent possession implied in "your elf" is interesting, though. Elves are not people to Claudia. They're enemies who can be disassembled for the magic inside them. So maybe more like robots than living beings, if she knew what a robot was. Maybe she heard Soren's "Moonshadow Madness" story and realized he totally missed the kissing implications - but she didn't, and now she's genuinely worried that Rayla could kiss Callum under a full moon and enchant him to do her will. Good thing it's only a half moon, then!

Okay, Callum nervously making a puppet hand and then not knowing what to do with his hands and freaking out about itching and moving and pointy elbows is such a ND mood. The sudden stress of knowing that someone else is noticing your existence and maybe you're Not Existing Right, amirite? Ugh, poor Callum.

The Moon Temple! Omg it's so pretty in the description! Made to be beautiful and useful, full of knowledge but also allowing light and life inside (butterflies and vines). Lujanne, when can I move in, please? Also, it's all the more angsty because Lujanne is the only one who gets to see this beautiful place, but it has lots of chairs and shelves and tables, and it was meant to be used by lots of people. :(((

Claudia knows some of the runes on the walls. She isn't in a hurry to copy the rest of them down or anything, either. Her spellwriting is very precise, and she's a skilled mage. Her father would have made sure she was aware of the dangers of drawing sloppy runes, as much as he made her aware of the dangers of doing dark magic wrong. And the whole point of dark magic is that it's easier to learn than primal magic. Claudia supports her dad and their shared knowledge and life path. She's not gonna go nuts over an elf library she can't translate.

Side note: Between Claudia knowing some Moon runes and Viren building a secret passageway and a dungeon and lighting it with the same blue crystals that Lujanne and Ethari use for light--and Claudia exclaiming that she loves ruins--I wonder once more if there are really Moonshadow ruins somewhere in Katolis, which Viren has found and looted. Father-daughter relic hunting trip, maybe while Soren is away at camp? Omgsh that would be so wild!

Callum out here having a Viren moment with his "I feel powerless unless I've got magic that lets me help" vibes. God. I love their complicated mirroring. One of the hard differences between them is that Callum is very sure dark magic is bad because you have to kill stuff and take its power to cast spells, and he doesn't want to be a person who kills and takes like that. The line he walks to be nice to Claudia on their tour of the Cursed Caldera because he likes her, while telling her that he doesn't want to do her magic, like, ever, is so fine that it might as well be a shifting shadow on the ground. It's a very fitting conversation to be having during the half moon, with its tricks and little white lies.

Callum being out of the castle and his comfort zone, having to deal with the fact that the Claudia he loves is not quite the Claudia who's chasing him down across the kingdom, but of the two of them, he's the only one with a problem with this.

They say that if you really want to get to know someone, you should spend time with them outside their comfort zone - in heavy traffic, with a small baby, taking care of a new pet, trying a new skill, following unfamiliar directions, etc. While the castle is familiar territory for them both, Callum's never really found his comfort zone yet, while Claudia is pretty comfortable with her growing skill set. The creepy part starts to kick in when Callum begins to realize that Claudia's comfort zone encompasses a whole bunch of stuff that seems like it should make her uncomfortable... but it doesn't. But that'll be for a future chapter!

#book two: sky spoilers #book two: sky #b2:s #tdp spoilers #viren #harrow #rayla #runaan #callum #claudia #soren #lujanne #moonshadow elves #aaravos

26 notes · View notes

wen-kexing-apologist · 3 years

Text

Black is the Color of My True Love's Hair

Read here on AO3

Kaz:

There were many things Kaz loved about Ketterdam. He loved how the chaos of the city carried whispers, the way the Barrel opened itself up to those it trusted, loved how the markets were bathed in color when the tulips bloomed in Spring, and above all he loved the clocks, which rung music across the streets and kept his secrets safe within their chimes. Well, he usually loved the clocks. Right now, as he hurtled unceremoniously awake to their incessant tolls, he was concocting no less than seven schemes to destroy every last time piece in Ketterdam.

He sat up in bed, rubbing tight circles into the muscle of his bad leg, stretching the stiffness from his joints. He blinked the drowsiness from his eyes, glancing out the window to where the first rays of daybreak were just beginning to brighten the sky. He rolled out of bed, sleepy and slow, and limped over to his wash basin. He splashed water on his face and ran wet fingers through his hair, his footsteps fell heavy on his hardwood floors and he groaned in pain with every motion. The pain was always bad in the mornings, when the lack of movement made his muscles sore, when his knee didn’t want to bend.

“Tell me, Dirtyhands,” a voice muttered, and Kaz spun around in surprise. The anxious beating of his heart accelerated at the sight of Inej, eyes closed, blanket on her shoulders, and her face resting on his desk, her hair loose, wild, and draped across her arms. “How did you ever complete heists before I came along, with a walk as loud as yours?”

It shouldn’t have surprised him to find her here, the foggy edges of his memory recalled they’d been together yesterday, working until the early hours of the morning. Inej had fallen asleep first, and Kaz, not having the strength to move her, had continued his work until the dreams had taken him.

“Perhaps your ears deceive you, Wraith,” Kaz smirked, pulling off his nightshirt, wiping himself down. “I’m quiet as a mouse,”

“Big mouse,” Inej retorted, the blanket slipping to the floor as she sat up and stretched. She tugged off her vest, and began unbuttoning her shirt, Kaz watched her every move from the mirror, trying to steady his pulse as she drew closer to him. She met his gaze, a rueful look in her eye, a challenge and an invitation. He walked away before she could come to stand by his side, he wasn’t sure he would be able to control himself, he wasn’t sure he could survive his need to touch her if she had drawn too near. But that didn’t mean he was out of the game.

He could feel her eyes upon his back as he made his way to his closet, pulled out a fresh pair of clothes, and stripped himself down completely. Inej’s breath hitched behind him and he bit back a grin. It was terrifying and exhilarating to expose himself like this. But he was competitive and he wasn’t going to let Inej run circles around his temptations. He got dressed, moving deliberately, taking his time. He left his gloves off. He was smug when he turned back around, waiting to claim his victory. But it was quickly replaced by desire, warm and unexpected and delightful, at the sight of her, hair slick and dripping water in graceful lines down her back. She was running a brush through it, working out the knots and tangles, a thin strip of leather pressed between her teeth.

She was breathtaking. Kaz had marveled once, not too long ago at how, after everything Inej had suffered, she could still consider herself lucky. But seeing her like this, with the sunrise painting gold across her skin, with a calm that curved her shoulders, he was beginning to understand what luck could feel like. She buttoned up her shirt, then her vest, and picked her knives up from the desk. She brought each knife up to her lips, whispering a prayer before she tucked them back into their sheaths.

He loved the easy silence that settled in between them. Kaz spent so much of his day plotting, scheming, thinking, that he savored every second of silence he could find. Inej carried silence on her like a charm. Kaz was enamored, enraptured by her, he was studying her every move. When she had secured her last blade, she returned to the mirror, and began to braid her hair.

“Wait,” Kaz blurted, before he was even sure what he was going to say. “Would you teach me?”

Inej, already halfway done, stopped, and looked at him with nothing but confusion in her eyes “What?”

Regret and embarrassment turned his cheeks warm and red “If I told you I was deliriously exhausted, would you forget about that lapse in self control, and allow me to maintain my reputation as a widely feared and extremely powerful Barrel boss?”

Inej cocked her head to the side, batting her eyelashes at him, a giant, teasing smile spreading across her face. She came in close, putting mere inches between them, and Kaz wanted nothing more than to pull her to him, to feel her hand against his chest, to grasp her elbow and wipe that smug look on her face off with a kiss. “And give up the opportunity to blackmail the bastard of the Barrel?”

“Inej,” he pleaded. Inej had gotten him to beg , Saints, she was good.

“Why?” Her question was sincere and curious. Why do you want to braid my hair?

“I- I don’t know,” it broke something in Kaz to admit it, to admit he wanted something with no strings attached. “To see if I can? Because your hair seems so important to you and I-” I want you to know how important you are to me.

Inej’s eyes pierced through to his very soul, the flash of a smile flitting across her face. Kaz would have done anything for a smile like that. “Okay,” she said “This will be easier if you sit,” she nodded her head in the direction of his mattress. “You take the bed, I’ll take the floor,” Kaz obliged, ignoring the pain that radiated up his leg. Inej pulled her knees up close to her chest, her back straight as an arrow. After a minute she turned to look at him, apprehension furrowing her brow, “You have to actually pick my hair up before we can start, you know?”

“Right,” Kaz agreed, and sucked in a breath when she returned her gaze to the window, trying to prepare himself for the onslaught of crashing waves and rotting flesh. But as Kaz dipped his fingers into the ink that was Inej’s hair, the waters never rose, Jordie’s face did not appear behind his eyes. He let out a single, almost hopeful chuckle, when he realized he was fine. There was nothing in the feeling of her hair in his hands to remind him of the harbor. Jordie’s hair had not been as dark as hers, had not been as long; Inej’s hair was sleek and soft and cared for, it felt foreign and familiar against his skin. It was a comfort, it was a starting point, it was an illusion shattered by the realization that Inej had gone completely still under his grasp.

“Are you still with me, Wraith?” Kaz asked the air, pretending to be casual, heart pounding in excitement and concern.

“Yes,” it was a whisper as soft as a ghost. Inej’s arms were wrapped around her torso, her fingers resting gently across the hilts of her favorite knives.

Kaz dropped his hand and took a step back, his fingers twitched, wanting more. But he would not submit Inej to torture. “You sound like you are vanishing. I don’t...I don’t want to be the reason why you disappear,”

“You’re not the only one who has armor on,” Inej said simply. “Now, split my hair into three even sections.”

Kaz tried to steady his hand when he reached out again, why was he so nervous? He brushed his fingers through her hair, wondering if the first time had been a fluke, fearing he would be plunged into the harbor. But the waters never came, Kaz could not contain his smile. He separated out her hair, and thought of all the times he had seen her twist her plait together. Feeling confident in it, he tried to start the braid, but he wasn’t sure what he was doing, and she was sitting too far away. He knew it was for him, to make sure they didn’t touch, but it meant he had to lean awkwardly to reach the base of her neck. He lost his balance and accidentally pulled hard on Inej’s hair, still wrapped up in his hands, as he lurched backwards to steady himself. Kaz’s heart punctured beneath the sharp intake of Inej’s breath, and bled out against her knuckles, which had turned white, clutched tightly around her Saints.

“Sorry,” it was perhaps the second time in his life that Kaz had ever apologized, and the ease at which it passed his lips terrified and excited him.

Slowly, carefully, Inej moved closer, leaning back against his shins. Pain shot through his bad leg in a familiar arc, and he bit his lip and closed his eyes to prevent himself from grunting. The pain made him think of violence, of fighting, the only way he was usually able to handle any form of physical contact. The aching in his leg diluted the euphoria he felt knowing he could touch Inej, her hair at least, without bringing Jordie back to life, but it also saved him from drowning now, with her back pressed up against him. He knew what she was doing, he didn’t blame her for it.

Inej:

Tante Helene had been obsessed with Inej’s hair, the first day they met she had practically drooled over it, with thoughts of how much money such luscious locks would make her. She had been right. There was not a night that went by in that horrible place where someone else’s greasy fingers hadn’t felt it, tangled it...pulled it. Inej’s hair wasn’t just important to her, it was sacred. To have it handled so, it made her feel disgraceful, made her feel abandoned, cursed. When Kaz had shown up, before sense could catch up to her, she had thought it was a rescue, that she would never have to worry about such heinous acts again.

Kaz had warned her when they made their way out of The Menagerie that he was not taking her to safety. The Barrel was a wicked place, a hungry place, it took its pound of flesh from everyone. But, a small, naive part of her hadn’t wanted to believe him. It had only taken a few hours for Kaz to be proven right. It happened just as Inej had begun to feel comfortable, had begun to settle into the cacophony and the chaos of the Dregs. A newer member, Hendrik, someone with too little skill and too much to prove, had grabbed her by the hair and flung her to a darkened corner of the bar. She had imagined all the ways she could destroy him, clawing out his eyes, poisoning his drink, beating him bloody. She had wanted desperately to fight back, but instead her body did what it always had, what she had trained it to do, and she had disappeared. She had hated herself for it, hated that she had shown her weakness from the very first day.

But she hated herself more for having been so stupid as to believe that things would be different with Dirtyhands; that she could become more than just a toy to be passed around. As the last shreds of hope for a different life were suffocated by the hands upon her, a crow-headed cane connected with Hendrik’s skull. The corners of her coat turned red as his blood spread across the floor, she reveled in the sight of it and felt ashamed to have loved such violence. Kaz had been the one to save her that night, because of course he had. She hated the way Hendrik made her feel, like she was just skin, supple and pliable and at the mercy of another’s whims. Kaz had turned her to metal, turned her knuckles into brass, had sharpened her edges and given her claws.

Inej cut off her hair with the first knife Kaz gave her, it had broken her to do so and freed her all the same. She had regretted it, it felt like a betrayal to her former self, to her parents, to her Saints; but it was the one thing in her life she could control. Since then, her hair had grown with her, had grown to something no one else had ever touched. No one, now, except for Kaz.

When he’d asked her to teach him, when he’d said he wanted to learn, she had lost the rest of his request to the sound of her heart, beating in her ear. In all the years she’d been in Ketterdam, no one else had ever cared enough to ask her. When he’d first wrapped his fingers through her hair, years of memories came rushing back, she’d almost collapsed against their weight...and then he’d laughed, a small delighted thing.

Kaz was doing what she’d asked of him, he was trying to get better, and though Inej had spent most of her time in the Dregs working on her own weaknesses, she had yet to conquer this one. It wasn’t fair, she knew, to ask him to do something she wouldn’t do herself. She gripped her knives, because they kept her grounded, they kept her here, safe in the Slat, safe with Kaz. Inej realized, with tentative glee, that she liked this feeling, Kaz’s fingers running through her hair, cautious and gentle.

And then he’d lost his balance.

A fear she’d long forgotten crashed into her body, knocked the air from her lungs. Wrapped itself around her throat and floated upward, forcing her out, making her disappear. There were hands on her, in her hair, pressing down on her chest, holding her arms so they would not fight, or scratch, or claw. Her consciousness clung to the ceiling, her strength jumped out the window.

“Where’s your hairbrush?” his question severed the line, slamming Inej back into her body. Uh oh .

“What happened?” Inej asked, not sure if she actually wanted an answer to that question.

“I...got overconfident,” She wasn’t looking at him, but his words sounded almost sheepish. A different type of panic raced through her.

“I’m not cutting it again,” She turned to meet his eye, when had she leaned against his legs? “so if you mess my hair up, Kaz, we’re having words,”

“If I mess you hair up, Inej,” Kaz replied, his face firm, but eyes shining, “you can take your revenge, I won’t even put up a fight,”

“Well, that’s no fun,” she muttered, bounding over to the desk, grabbing her hairbrush, and handing it to Kaz. Kaz let his fingers slide over her knuckles, she could see the shiver that travelled down his spine, this was an apology.

“Then you can torture me in the meantime,” he whispered. Kaz stretched out his bad leg, keeping his other one bent. He gave a curt nod and a tight smile, and when she returned to her spot on the floor, she pressed her back against him and draped one arm lightly over his shin. With surety, Kaz began to brush her hair. It bit into her scalp at first, but he loosened his grip, and the teeth of the brush began to tickle, to soothe, the repetitive nature of the action brought her comfort. She hummed happily.

“What song does the Wraith sing for me today?”

“One from home,” she sighed, blissful and content and fully in her own mind. “This reminds me of my mother,”

Kaz cleared his throat “I don’t know that I want to do anything that reminds you of your mother,” Inej thought of him, naked before her no less than fifteen minutes earlier, and laughed.

“She used to brush my hair when I was young. She’d press kisses to my temple, twist my hair through her fingers. She taught me how to braid it, how to care for it. She’s the only other person who’s brushed my hair,” her head rested fully in his lap now, and when she looked at him, she felt something in him twitch. His forehead was sweaty, this was challenging for him, she figured she had let him suffer enough for his mistake and so she sat back up and put a little space between them. “Don’t get cocky this time, Kaz. Three even strands,”

“What next?”

“Grab the middle strand with one finger, and cross it over to the right. The strand that was on the right should now be in the middle. Do the same thing on the left side, middle to the left.” Kaz made a sound of acknowledgement, and started the braid. Inej was used to seeing him work, picking pockets and picking locks with confidence. His fingers did not seem so sure of themselves today, fumbling clumsily as he struggled to keep the strips of her hair separated. “And then just do it again, middle to the right, middle to the left, over and over until you get to the bottom,”

Kaz worked as methodically as ever, and Inej had to fight the urge to find a reflection of herself in the window, to check in on his progress. She trusted Kaz would do the best job he could. “And then?”

“Here,” she handed him the thin strip of leather. “Tie off the end, you can just wrap it around and knot it,”

“Alright,” Kaz said, and his bed creaked as he leaned back. But he didn’t drop her hair like she expected. Instead he ran a thumb across the plait he had just made. She thanked the Saints for the joy it made her feel, knowing that Kaz Brekker didn’t want to let her go. “I think I’m done,”

Inej stood up, flitting over to examine his handiwork. It was done with a quality she had anticipated, nowhere near perfect, but it would do for the day. It was a little too loose, and there were pieces of her hair that feathered out around the edges. Pieces Kaz had either neglected or that had already slipped from the braid. She caught the frenetic motion of Kaz’s hands, twisting a coin between his knuckles, and knew that he was worried, waiting for a judgement.

“A valiant first attempt,” Inej decreed, joining Kaz on the bed.

“Now, that’s a kind lie if I ever heard one,” Kaz’s eyes traced over the curves of her body.

“It’s not a lie,” Inej said, and leaned forward, “But, if you’re dissatisfied with the result, you are welcome to try again tomorrow,”

“I might have to take you up on that offer,” His eyes were glued to her lips, Inej could hear the way his breath quickened. And just as he started to close the distance between them, his sheets balled up in his fists, the clocks began to chime.

“I should be going,” Inej whispered, though she could not make out the words beneath the sound of her own yearning.

“Just one more second,” Kaz requested, sweating and shaking, he pressed a kiss to her temple, gentle as a ghost. He moved away instantly, swallowing hard, tucking his hands beneath his arms. He hadn’t been ready for that . The spot where he had kissed her felt electric, felt hopeful, felt empty, she wanted more, but Kaz did not, Kaz could not. His eyes were glazing over, he was about to be lost to the waters again.

She hopped off the bed to give him space, unlocked the latch on his window, and opened it to bring the air in. “Thanks, Mom,” she said with all the seriousness that she could muster.

Inej wanted a portrait of the look on Kaz’s face to hang above her mantle “Fuck you, Inej,”

“I don’t think you’re ready for that,” she said with a smirk, Jesper and Nina had definitely rubbed off on her, and she left him there, cheeks red, mouth agape, her braid swinging behind her, as if waving Kaz goodbye.

#*cries in kanej*#kanej my beloved #kanej fanfic #kanej #kaz x inej #inej x kaz #the crows #six of crows #soc #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #crooked kingdom fanfic #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfic #dirtyhands #ketterdam #the bastard of the barrel #the wraith

38 notes · View notes

ddarker-dreams · 4 years

Text

Bride in White. Yan Giorno x Reader [COMM]

When you had fantasized about this day in your youth, this is not what you had desired.

In those days, you pictured how you would count down the days until your wedding. Mulling over a dress you wanted to wear, one that was within your budget but pretty nonetheless. Maybe an outdoor venue, friends and family alike joining together to witness your union. There’d be butterflies in your stomach as you held onto your bouquet, breath hitched. Most important of all, the one who would be waiting for you at the end of the aisle.

A person you truly loved.

Eerily, certain lavish elements align with what you would’ve wanted. Almost as if he peeked in your mind and stole it for himself. The venue you were to be wed reminded you of a whimsical fairy tale, indulging you in its architectural beauty. A cathedral with warm, earth tone colors with tall ceilings that reached to the heavens. Colored sunlight shone through broad, mosaic windows, illuminating aisles of wooden pews.

“I’m not a pious man,” Giorno had claimed, as he monitored you with his eyes. He must have mistaken your wide eye look for acceptance of the situation. “But it feels right.”

But it feels right.

Those four words haunted you the moment they left his roseate lips. He couldn’t have expressed the gravity of your situation, the living nightmare of your life more perfectly if he had tried. Every freedom he readily plucked from you like a flower petal, all the undesirable parts of you that he trimmed away, planting you wherever he saw fit to soak in your beauty. The single difference you can find is a flower will eventually wither away to nothing and wilt.

Whereas Giorno, your ever dutiful lover, cruelly refuses to let you meet the same fate.

All of this was thrusted upon you because it felt right to him. He’s assured that this is what love is and you’d be a fool to think otherwise. What happened in his past to delude him into believing this sick parody of love is right? Questions like this will remain unanswered, Giorno skillfully dodging them with ease when presented with your numerous concerns.

Freedoms you were generously given did little for you. Giorno took care of a majority of the planning, considering what minuscule input you offered. Whether it’s because he envisioned your union in a particular way -- or he was tired of your lackadaisical responses to wedding detail questions -- he stopped asking. The illusion of choice he presented you with was insulting in your eyes.

You don’t want to choose the flavor of cake, what orchestral arrangements are to be played during the reception, or what kind of veil you’ll wear. It’s as macabre as preparing for your own funeral down to the letter, you concluded. No, none of those frivolous things will bring you the true desire of your heart.

Living your life as you did before meeting the Don of Passione.

“I-is it to your liking?”

A young woman around your age asks, pulling back to allow you to see your own reflection. The person working on your hair continues in silence, the pair only speaking to you when absolutely necessary. It’s not like you can blame them, you think bitterly. Treading carefully and minding your mannerisms is an all too familiar dance.

“Yes, thank you.” you offer in response after brief deliberation, to which she lets out a shaky sigh of relief. A fluffy brush dances across your face as she continues her work, blending together your foundation or making small touch ups when necessary. Seeing your own somber reflection being dolled up stirs unknown emotions within you, almost prompting you to laugh humorlessly.

Your hair has been pulled back into a loose braid. Woven into your hair are flowers, likely created by Gold Experience. From light pink juliet roses to white hydrangeas, all stunningly beautiful despite your inner hatred for what they represent. It’s not that Giorno can’t afford to obtain flowers from other sources. The act of claiming you is what this represents.

Highlight that compliments your skin color is set upon your cheekbones and lightly dusted onto your nose, cheeks subtly rosy from blush. The color of your eyes is brought out by smokey eye shadow, eyelids covered in flecks of gold then finished with dark winged eyeliner. Lastly, in the color that Giorno had picked out himself, your lips plump and covered in a deep pink.

As for the dress, Giorno considered your minimal input when deciding on it. Weeks of fittings and measurements in his private villa come flooding back to your mind, the irritating experience bestowing upon you an extravagant dress. A sweetheart neckline, with a mermaid silhouette that extended past your feet. It has a bare back, with a long cathedral chain behind you. The fabric clings to your curves beautifully, made of lace and tulle.

It’s hard to justify messing up their work, as much as you’d love to. As innocent bystanders in this entangling mess, you loathe the thought of them getting in trouble for your tantrum. Knuckles tightening by your sides until your nails press painfully to your skin, you stop only to realize how it’d displeasure Giorno to see your beautiful skin tainted by crimson.

A door opens behind you, the sound of fine orchestral accompaniments growing louder. In the mirror, you’re able to see one of your bodyguards, Fugo. His normal outfit riddled with holes replaced by a coal black tux, gaze serious as ever.

“She walks out in five minutes. Is everything done by now?” he asks in a way that leaves room for little argument. Fugo has always been a no nonsense type of man, the stress from keeping a monumental event like this safe and moving along weighing down on him. Your hairdresser doesn’t look back while she responds, adding final flourishes while time allows.

“It will be. We’re just wrapping up now.”

Fugo runs a hand through his hair, sighing but nodding his head. For privacy he closes the door, likely standing by it for added security. The comfort of this room will soon be left behind you, as much as you want to stay hidden away forever. All you can think is this aspect will be over after today, though a much crueler fate awaits you with open arms.

After what feels like a too short amount of time, they begin prompting you to stand, handing you your bouquet of expensive and vibrant flowers. Your grip on which is weak, hands shaking too much to gain a proper grasp. Taking in a deep breath and closing your eyes, you do everything within your power to quench this stifling anxiety.

With no rest for the weary, Fugo once again opens the door. He meets your gaze, lips set in a tight frown but not commenting on your aghast expression; likely in an act of mercy towards you. He silently offers you his arm to steady your teetering figure, to which you shake your head. You’ve made it this far on your lonesome, the rest of the world failing you at every opportunity.

It’s more of a symbolic act now since you’ll have to take his arm later, Fugo being the one to give you away in the stead of your father. This is one of the conditions you presented to Giorno in return for your full compliance, that he leaves your family alone from all mafia related circumstances, this included. He seemed more than pleased at the time to accept his beloved’s request.

Wedding veil gingerly placed atop you, all the preparations steps have been completed. There’s no other acceptable excuses you can present at this moment, the calling before you beckoning. Fugo prompts you to walk out with him, a hallway not long enough for your liking in front of you.

Each step takes every ounce of your willpower. All you can hear, like a mantra within your own mind, is that you need to get yourself together. That’s the deal you made with him, the one that you need to stick by in spite of yourself. For the safety of those you care about, you must present yourself as a perfect and overjoyed bride.

Two intimidating looking men dressed for the occasion stand on either side of the large doors, ready to open the gates of your own personal hell. Fugo nods to them, his authority within the organization prompting them to open the doors to the chapel. At the very second of doing so, the orchestra changes their song to the bridal chorus.

Rich sounds of the organ flood your ears, lips quivering at the crushing sound reverberating within these tightly packed walls. The sensation of hundreds of faceless strangers staring at you makes your knees go weak, all of them now standing out of respect for your soon-to-be husband. None of them mean anything to you, but you’d be a fool to not acknowledge their importance. From politicians to fellow mafiosos, all eyes are on you.

Sensing your hesitation to continue walking, Fugo gently nudges you forward. The act breaks you from your momentary stupor, allowing you to continue down the aisle with faux grace. Running out of other sights to look at, your gaze hesitantly falls onto Giorno, who grows closer by the second.

He’s composed, as you’ve come to expect from him. There’s an image of rigidness that needs to be maintained with being a Don. His lips curl into a content smile when your eyes meet. Every ounce of your being screaming, pleading, for you to look away. To run away. Yet you can’t, the logical side of your brain being won over by the intensity of his presence.

Your body moves in a trance-like state towards him, drawn to his serene expression and loving eyes. Otherworldly is how you describe him in this moment, sunlight shining against his golden hair which is loose from the normal braid. No expenses were cut on his own outfit, wearing a luxurious navy blue Givenchy suit.

There’s no denying that the devil incarnate is nothing short of beautiful.

Fugo goes to shake Giorno’s hand, instead of your real father. He gives you one last look before descending down the stairs and taking his seat in the front row. Now feeling all on your own, you feel the anxiety from before returning in full force. What frightens you the most now is how gentle Giorno’s emerald eyes are, how much heartfelt love shines within them for you. It feels like his gaze pierces through your being, capable of reading every thought.

Offering him a smile that you pray he finds satisfactory, Giorno lifts the veil over your face.

“I’ve never seen someone so breathtaking.” he mutters under his breath, only for you to hear. Goosebumps dot your skin at his affectionate proclamation.

He then turns to look to the altar. You mirror this action, seeing an eldery man who must be the priest. Seeing his lips move, you faintly process that he’s addressing the two of you. All the world slows down as your fate is sealed, head growing dizzier by the second. This stifling atmosphere all but grabs you by the neck, suffocating you. Body on autopilot, you respond only when prompted to do so.

Now time for rings to be exchanged, Giorno grabs your hand with utmost care. He smiles at you, one that’s different than normal. One that doesn’t have hidden intentions behind it, an agenda to manipulate your feelings. No, this comes from the depths of his soul. From his overflowing love for you, that drowns out any other sensations.

He places the ring on your finger, expensive diamonds and gold band sliding on with shackles. “With this ring I, Giorno Giovanna, take you, [First], to be my own. To have you by side and support you until I draw my final breath, to love you with everything that I am and more. Let this be a symbol of our union that will last until the end of time itself.”

Words flow from his mouth with practiced ease, silver tongue threatening to draw you in. Your heart rate hammers away as you realize it’s your turn to speak your own vows, no longer protected by having to repeat someone else’s words. Giorno required of you to write it yourself, one of the cruelest things he could’ve had you do.

To speak of an abundance of love for someone you have nothing but deep abhorrence for.

Giorno’s eyes flicker at your lack of response, muscles of his jaw taut. A darkness momentarily seeps within his expression, one that you recognize all too well. This is the Giorno that you know. Lightly clearing your throat in mock sentiment, you pass it off as being choked up. Placing Giorno’s ring onto his ring finger, you shiver as your skin brushes against his.

Recalling the dishonest words, you speak them through a forced smile. “With this ring I, [First], take you, my dearest Giorno, to stand by you through the trials of life. The joys of my life are brought to me by you, and now I wish to return the favor. Allow me to repay you by being yours, and may nothing stand between us.”

Any signs of malice have melted away, a beaming expression taking their place on his countenance. Every word brought bile to your throat, numerous lies spilling from you like sweet venom. Your impeccable acting goes unnoticed, as he draws closer to you. Or maybe he does notice it but wants to delude himself into believing you’re being honest.

“By the power vested in me by God and man, I pronounce you wife and husband. What God has joined together, let no man put asunder. You may kiss your bride.”

Warm hands on both sides of your face caress you, the pads of his thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. What’s meant to be a tender moment causes your blood to run cold, hairs on the back of your neck standing at the realization of what this next action means. Giorno leans forward, long eyelashes fluttering shut. Soft lips mold against your own in a chaste kiss, your body tingling and scent of his rich cologne enveloping you.

He lingers for a second longer, before pulling back a few inches. Golden locks tickle your skin, his warm breath fanning against your flustered face. Giorno greedily drinks in the unfolding events in front of him, wordlessly portraying to you the depths of his obsession. You can only imagine what he’s thinking, and what it means for you. He feels like he’s won, that this victory will cement your place with him.

Closing his eyes once more, he offers you his arm. Understanding the gesture, you take it without protest. The smile never leaves his face as he turns around to face those who have gathered to the ceremony with you at his side.

Meaningless cheers erupt behind you, a once in a lifetime event of witnessing the union of Passione’s Don filling the air with palpable electricity. As you assume he wants, you follow Giorno’s lead by walking out towards the large wooden doors. His grip on you is tight, both physically steadying and emotionally unsettling you.

Going through the motions, is what you decide this detached state of existence is. Pushing through the numbness that threatens to take hold, you smile your best dazzling smile. It all happens in a flurry, crowds parting to allow for your safe passage. Once you walk out the Cathedral doors, you’re met with grains of rice fluttering onto you from either side and more delight.

All the faces that go by you like a blur appear overjoyed, paling in comparison only to Giorno. In the time you’ve had to share with him, you’re incapable of recalling seeing him this thrilled. The day is long from over, an outdoor reception already set up for you to sludge through. At least for this aspect, you doubt anyone will speak to you directly. Or if they do, it’ll be a predictable conversation that you already have designated answers to give.

Their attention will mostly remain on Giorno, congratulating him on the union. You wonder if some poor soul learned through experience that it’s unwise to have their eyes linger on you for too long. Giorno is a walking contradiction, wanting to both present his beautiful lover yet setting boundaries to prevent people from getting too close for his liking.

As you predicted, congratulatory words are shared hundreds of times. Hours pass of the same, monotonous routine. The one aspect that causes you to subtly stiffen every time is when an individual addresses you as Mrs. Giovanna. It feels like a part of your identity has been stolen, among all the other things he has taken from you.

“Do you need to rest? We’ve been standing for some time.” Giorno whispers into your ear, after a mafioso expressed his regards to his Don. You shake your head, not wanting to be alone with him. With all these people around, you oddly feel safer. Though none of them would stand up for you as it’s a certified death wish.

“I’ll be alright,” you respond to him with a sigh, lowering your head to look at the tile underneath you. “It’s just been a lot.”

Giorno considers your words, searching for emotions that aren’t there. You distract yourself by looking around, feeling content that these people are having fun even if you’re not. Families speaking amongst themselves enjoying the fine catering, partners dancing and almost everyone holding a wine glass. Asking him never felt like a priority, but you do wonder how much this spectacle cost.

As the evening progresses, the sun lowers into the sky. Beams of orange and yellow mixing together enrapture everything in sight, the scent of delicacies and wine mixing together. Milan is an enrapturing city. All day you’ve had no appetite, Giorno having to convince you to eat something. Looking down at the plate that he brought you, a slice of buttered focaccia is what you settle on.

Speaking of Giorno, he left your side for the first time in hours to speak to some security. You feel like it’s easier to breathe outside of his presence, though the respite won’t last much longer. As expected, he returns to you and extends his hand. You hesitate before grabbing it, to which he helps you up.

“We’ll be heading to our hotel now.” he instructs you, leading you to the curb where a limousine awaits. Ever the gentleman, Giorno opens the door for you to take your seat before sitting next to you himself. A final group of cheers for the new couple break out, before the crowd is behind you.

Only the low drum of the engine fills your ears, your lap holding your interest. Feeling emotionally drained to the core, you don’t offer any resistance when Giorno lays his hand over your own. Working up the courage to look at him, you’re met with a serene expression. He loosens his tie some, upward curl of his lips never faltering.

“Cara… you looked troubled,” he squeezes your hand reassuringly. “Is something bothering you?”

“Ah. I’m not used to all that attention and socializing.” you admit in truth, a sheepish smile of your own creeping up. Giorno is the only person who you have contact with on a regular basis. You forgot what it was like to converse with strangers, even in passing. Giorno seems to understand, bright green eyes softening.

He reaches to a pen in his jacket, and before your very eyes, it turns into an impressive burgundy rose. Giorno’s ability is a mystifying one, no matter how many times you witness it. He quietly laughs at your wide eye look, before tucking it behind your ear.

“We’ll be alone soon enough.”

It’s a phrase meant to soothe you, yet it has the opposite effect. A hidden meaning glimmers underneath the surface, one that you anticipate.

Still in a dreamlike state, you eventually arrive in a luxurious suite. This is one of the finest hotels in Milan, with a vast view of the historic city. Placing your hand to the glass of the window, you hear footsteps approaching you from behind. Not feeling the need to turn around to greet your husband, Giorno makes up for it by wrapping his arms around your torso.

He presses himself against you, head lowering to the crux of your neck to take in your scent. A perfume that he chose for you. His lips ghost over your pulse, appreciating how it gains speed at his teasing touch. He knows this body well. This is a culmination of all he’s desired, the payoff of you before him. Giorno’s hands hover up to your shoulder, where he plays with the straps of your dress.

You close your eyes.

Lifting his head to your ears, you shiver at his low declaration. “Now, give all of yourself to me, mio bellissimo amore.”

#giorno #Giorno Giovanna #giovanna giorno #yandere giorno #giorno x reader #yandere giorno x reader #yandere giorno giovanna x reader #yandere #yandere jjba #jjba 5 #JoJo's Bizzare Adventure #jojo's bizarre adventures #yandere jojo's bizzare adventure #yandere imagine #yandere scenario #my stuff #commission #yandere commission #commissions

618 notes · View notes

mr-nauseam · 3 years

Text

EngPort Headcanon 4

England and Portugal are par excellence the dynamic "friends who become lovers" but it is necessary to understand how that friendship is formed, as it will be the basis for developing romantic feelings between them in the future.

That is the central theme of this post: The sweet childhood.

Today there is no song as the central theme but my engport playlist is very long (I have approximately 80 songs in it) so I will only mention a fragment of these. Let's get started.

Childhood as nations: an impossible reality.

For certain things shown in the anime and manga I feel that it is important to remember that the characters are not human ... in a biological way. We must give importance to this fact because it lets us know that they experience life in a very different way than human beings.

Above all, a point in their lives that is remarkably different because they are nations is their childhood and a character who portrays this conflict well is USA, when we see him being the thirteen colonies he looks like a small child and usually acts like one, but as time passes and tensions grow in his territory, he undergoes a most abrupt transformation, although the series makes us believe that he really spent a considerable time, it was not like that and in a very short time USA lost his childish body and his own innocent mentality to obtain in exchange, the body of a young adult and a much clearer vision of the world and what was happening in it - and consequently a much more cruel and pessimistic vision of life.

What gives rise to a strange and disturbing scene but that makes a lot of sense if we consider that they are not human, the scene I am talking about is that moment in which USA is a full-fledged adult in physical and mentality while Canada looks like a child and acts accordingly like one.

These abrupt changes that nations are facing is a cruel reality from which they cannot escape and over which they have no control, their entire image and essence will depend on the decisions of their people.

With this in mind, let's continue: a well-known fact of the engport is that they are friends from a very young age and regardless of when you consider that they were each born.

-Was Portugal Lusitania ?, Was England Albion ?, Is Portugal born until the creation of her kingdom ?, Is England greater ?, etc-, we know that the lives of England and Portugal come together very soon.

According to Himayura, England's childhood is one of the most tragic, he was constantly harassed when he was small, weak and defenseless, which explains several traits of his character, looking at the history books, we know that Portugal did not sleep precisely on laurales, he also suffered from invasions and great stress -in fact all countries had complicated childhoods, only sadly there are some who have more bitter experiences in their memory-, with this panorama we see that the time that usually in human beings is of the happier, it was a true hell without any distinction and almost without exceptions for the nations.

To make matters worse, they, unlike other children, could maintain their illusion and innocence in several areas but their minds were already processing and understanding what was happening around them and even if it was difficult for them to do because they were young, they had no options and it was their duty to understand it.

Which must have been frankly overwhelming, since these characters from a very early age had to become familiar with dark concepts such as death, murder, famine, etc.

For what England and Portugal had behind them a difficult, lonely, isolated life and where began little by little the power games that would become more ruthless over time, it is at this moment where they meet.

They could meet at a time when they were still little children, who at any moment could undergo an abrupt change like the one I mentioned about USA where his body changed abruptly and his mind too, that is, they passed adolescence. And in fact both will face this rugged stage together.

Seeing their relationship I think it is very relevant that it occurred in these early years, it was not early enough for them to define each other to a primary degree - what happens with England and France that when they met from a very young age inadvertently molded their identities mutually. - and it was not too late for it to cost horrors to draw a political alliance because they had suffered enough and were distrustful who refused to establish close and deep connections with new people, no.

They were at the right point, where they had already suffered several wounds - betrayals, significant losses, wars, etc - that needed to be healed and they were still accompanied by a certain naivety / illusion that allowed them to keep alive their desire to meet others and wish a real affection - as real as it can be between nations - they were still hopeful in the bottom of their hearts.

Arthur and Port were able to offer themselves in that time full of tension, confusion and loss an Eden, the firm point on which I believe engport is based - and the one that caused its wear and tear in the years to come and its rebirth-.

An Eden is a safe and wonderful place, it is a refuge where they could be two happy children who played in the forest forgetting the pain, where they spoke of their most fanciful illusions without being judged, where they were two teenagers who were together against the world and spoken about their sadness, of they anger and they changing world:

And I've been meaning to tell you

I think your house is haunted

Your dad is always mad and that must be why

I think you should come live with me

And we can be pirates

Then you won't have to cry

Or hide in the closet

(Seven-Taylor Swift)

I put this fragment here because I think it clearly shows this idea of the eden, where both allowed themselves to create a sense of peace, that emotion that was and has been absent their entire existence until they met. A feeling that they cling to desperately to continue standing in that insensitive world in which they lived, not knowing what the future held but more encouraged that whatever it was they could bear it as long as they had their Eden together.

#engport #porteng #aph england #aph portugal #hws england #hws portugal #ship #otp #headcanon #crazy idea #love gay #hetalia #hetalia axis powers #engport-ika

23 notes · View notes

astrowithkaro · 3 years

Note

Hii, I don't know if there's some rules that I'm not following, if I am please forgive me I didn't mean to be disrespectful but I would really like to request August 27 for the language of birthdays. Thank you in advance and sorry if I make any mistake. 🥰🥰😍

Language Of Birthdays: August 27 - Virgo

[You can find the rest of the series here; or check out my masterlist]

The Day Of Social Ideals

No matter what their station in life, those born on August 27 tend to identify with the common man, the underdog and the downtrodden. They are painfully aware of the inadequacies of this world. Therefore, as regards everyday life, they are constantly asking themselves how it may be bettered. Though their upholding of ideals may be unselfish, however, most born on this day do have a personal stake in the admiration or even adulation they receive from those whom they nurture or defend.

August 27 people run the gamut from intellectuals and idea people who value principles for their own sake to more pragmatic types whose focus is on impacting in a tangible way on life around them. For both types, it is human nature and human needs, both material and spiritual, that concerns them. Also, for both types, the same danger presents itself: that in confronting the shortcomings of the world, they may grow frustrated or negative.

Many August 27 people need to feel that they are indispensable to the well-being of their family or social group. Indeed, they cannot suffer the thought that things will run smoothly without them. However, the more highly evolved of this day gradually develop an ever greater capacity for unconditional giving, asking few rewards if any in return for their help.So basic is social involvement to August 27 people's lives, that they are rarely successful when they devote themselves to furthering an isolated career, accumulating power for its own sake or amassing wealth. Excessive power drives usually lead those born on this day to breakdowns and the frustration of their schemes and plans. It is essential that such August 27 people realize how intimately their fate is tied up with that of their fellow human beings, and put to use their remarkable social skills.

There is a type of August 27 person who in youth is confronted with the hard realities of this world, and thus suppresses, even eradicates his/her idealistic nature. Indeed, no one may know this person to be an idealist. But though such a person has no illusions about the kind- ness of the world, and indeed may be quite cynical about human nature, he/she usually retains an individual notion of being a "standup person" and can still contribute in a pragmatic way to the well-being of others.

This day holds the promise of tremendous spiritual evolution and growth, but equally the danger of succumbing to ego temptations. The choice clearly lies with the August 27 per- son. Those born on this day who are prone to depression and negative thinking— so called realists who are in fact pessimists—would do well to roll up their shirtsleeves and pitch in to help the common good of their family and friends. Joining a club, social group or institution that works for the betterment of the community is strongly advised for them, so that they may realize their human potential.

Strengths:

Socially aware

Caring

Idealistic

Weaknesses:

Over involved

Depressive

Stress prone

Advice

Those born on August 27 are often completely uninterested in their own physical health or appearance. Even worse, many run themselves down through excessive work done for others. If those born on this day come to feel unappreciated they must beware of depressions. which can come on rather suddenly, for example when an August 27 parent's children grow up and he she doesn't feel needed anymore. For those born on this day. good health is directly related to the stability of their inner spiritual and religious values, but also of course to their ability to maintain sound dietary, sleep and exercise habits. Avoiding alcohol at times of depression is important for them.

Don't wallow in your personal problems

If you are not helping others, begin at once

The energy you receive from these endeavors will light your way and help you find your place in the world

Don't allow fixed ideals to limit your thinking and creativity

#virgo sign #virgo reading #virgo monthly horoscope #virgo sun #virgo #virgo astrology #virgo horoscope #virgo tarot reading #astrology readings #baby witch #witchblr #witch blog #witchcraft community #witchcraft #fire signs

15 notes · View notes

jubilantwriter · 3 years

Text

Of Blood and Static

Chapter 4: Is it foolish of me to want to hope?

(AO3) (First) (Previous) (Next)

Word Count: 4285

////

The Lady is aware of the loops. She’s aware that there are actions she can take to avoid the ending they always end up with. She knows that there are paths she can drag them to, if she’d just follow through with her choices. The Lady knows this. But there’s very little she can do as a child that prevents them from going down the same path they always go down.

She ends up dropping him again, reason falling down with him as the loop continues as it always does. Very little changes in this loop, after all, even with her holding a puzzle that’s a good deal complete. It’s still not the whole picture, and maybe that’s the reason why she drops him each time.

(A boy in a blue sweater shoved her away from a nome, protecting the small creature as her ravenous appetite made her attack anything that breathed. Somehow, he managed to force her attention to the previously offered sausage. A part of her was repulsed by it - she wanted something that was alive, not already dead - but another part of her was desperate for the meat. Not out of hunger, no, but for a completely human reason. She clung to it as she sobbed, tearing into the sausage as the pains went away slowly. The Hunger was still there, but it was nothing more than a background throb she could manage. Her Shadow had looked at her, head tilted curiously before disappearing. Meanwhile, the boy kept his distance, wary of her actions before he gathered up the nomes and left her be.

The lingering feeling of relief felt odd to her, but she’d learned not to question the things she felt. She put the feeling aside for later, until she’s ready to piece it apart.)

The television is here, as it always is. As the Lady, she must maintain her appearance as the most beautiful and elegant creature on the Maw. Each decision and move she makes must be confident. She must never falter, lest they take it as a sign of weakness.

And the Lady is never weak.

Never weak until this very moment, she supposes. Hesitance was never something she personally encountered often. She can count on one hand the times she’s hesitated in her life, and here she is, adding another count to her fingers. There’s no good reason for her hesitance either. Why does she falter from pressing her hand against the glass? What is it that makes her feel such… trepidation?

(Why was it that she felt fear in having to face him again? She's an adult - there's nothing left for her to fear. Not even her own death.

So what was it about the Thin Man that made her hesitate like so?)

The television doesn't wait for her command, however. It flickers on by itself, static filling up the screen as it slowly tunes itself over and over until... yes. A familiar silhouette sits in a chair on the screen. Still, she does not press her hand on the warming glass.

Moments pass without either of them uttering a word. The Lady remains where she stands, stock still as her mask covers her emotions. On the screen the Thin Man sits patiently, not even fidgeting a bit as he waits for her to say something. Another stretch of silence passes before the Thin Man's words begin to appear on the screen.

"So," he begins, "did you eat a child this time?"

A bark of surprised laughter escapes her. "What do you mean?"

"I meant what I said." She can almost sense the smile on his face as he continues. "I just wanted to know if you ate a child this time."

"And if I said no?" She doesn't recall eating a child. True, she's transformed a good amount into nomes to work her ship, powering it with coal and scrambling around to do whatever it is they do. And yes, she does use children as a source of meat for her Guests, but she's never really eaten a child.

(The boy in the blue sweater had looked back at her, their eyes meeting for a moment as she tore desperately into that sausage. There was something familiar about his eyes, something about them that reminded her of-

Maybe that’s why she started crying. He wasn’t looking at her with malice that day, though she should have deserved some ounce of it. No, though his bangs had covered his eyes, she could still clearly see the quiet emotion he held for her before turning away and running with the nomes.

Sympathy.)

"I would be pleasantly surprised." The Thin Man sounds genuine, but many things about him tend to be genuine, she's found. He hasn't really changed so much from when he was a child. Her chest clenches as she remembers the boy she dropped to his doom. An instinct (a routine, a pattern, a senseless habit she continues to this day) that had her releasing her last friend to his fate.

(Why do they always fall from cliffs? She wishes they'd stop doing that.)

"Why are you here?" She rubs the fabric of her kimono between her fingers, trying to keep her hand occupied. "Why are you being so... calm?"

Be mad, she begs in her mind, it's easier to justify my actions when you're mad.

"Because." A pause. The silence lingers as he seems to consider his words. "I think I've grown tired of being upset and mad."

"And so now you're here, on this screen, simply to bother me?"

"Would you rather I leave?"

"No." She answers far too quickly and scowls to herself. "I mean- you're free to leave as you please. I won't stop you."

"Hm." Oh, how she wishes she could slap the smugness out from his words. "As tempting as that offer is, I believe I will stay for now. It's not like I have anywhere else to go."

"Are you truly confined to just one space?"

"Aren't you?" His question gives her pause. "Despite the Maw moving from place to place, you're still stuck on the same ship filled with the same rooms with the only change being your Guests. I would say you're just as trapped as I am." He waits for a retort, but she finds herself unable to give one. When the silence lingers for too long, his words continue as though he never paused to begin with. "I'd say you have it worse than me. At least I know I'm trapped in place until something forces my hand. But you're living under the illusion of being free, believing your prison to be an ever changing force you can control."

This is becoming too much. Memories of past Thin Men trickle into her mind, where his cocky words slowly dripped with venom and malice and rage as they screeched at each other. Times where blame was tossed around as easily as a child's life, resulting in loops and loops of broken televisions and her quarters being void of any devices. When did the television make its way back into her quarters? When did they start getting along again?

It shouldn't have been so far into the past, but she finds it hard to grasp the particular moment in which they were willing to be civil again. If only those memories would trickle in instead of the more... painful ones. She holds a hand to her head, a headache forcing its way to her temple.

His words sound too much like the ones that used to be filled with so much venom. With a groan, she quickly tries to recover and shoots back a response she hopes sounds playful.

"At least I have all the food I could want here."

"Yes, having any food is a perk I suppose."

"What?" she questions, lowering her hand from her head. Having any food? "Are you saying you don't eat?"

"I mean," he shrugs on screen, "it's not like I have to."

"But are you at least... offered it? In your little living space." It strikes her as odd that his own chambers would lack any amenities. Shouldn't their respective realms be molded to suit their needs? The Maw had granted her a library inherited from the previous (first? Second? Third?) Lady, with rooms changed to suit her preferences, and portraits to showcase her likeness as opposed to the previous proprietor. Surely the Tower would do the same for the Thin Man.

(A room that housed her was filled to the brim with toys she liked. They floated around her, enticing her, giving her reason to stay and play, rather than try to escape. It was safe there - that's what the room wanted her to see. The music box played such a lovely tune too.

It was enough that it made her forget her broken and healing bones. It was enough that it made her forget her twisted limbs and aching, curved back. The room had everything she'd ever dreamed of.

Everything except-

"Hey!")

"...No?" The Thin Man fidgets a bit in his seat. "I was never offered food here. At most, it offered me a new change of clothes as I grew older but. Nothing else."

"...No food?" Her thoughts slow to a stop at the revelation. That can't be right. That doesn't sound right. "How odd. Surely, it would make sure you were fed to keep you alive for this long."

"In a sense." He fidgets some more, his head angled away from the screen between them. "I mean, it's not like I needed food once I started... living here, for lack of a better term."

"What did you survive off of?"

"My depression?" His shoulders shake a bit while she hums in disapproval. "I'm kidding. Cigarettes." A growl comes from her throat as he frantically waves his hands in the air. "Okay okay! I fed off the life forces of the Viewers, I suppose. What powers the Tower powers me as well. Or at least, that's how it feels."

So something similar to the Lady, she supposes. Still, eating food isn't something she is willing to give up despite her powers. She hungers every day with pangs that wane or strengthen depending on how often she feeds. It distresses her that the Thin Man hasn't even been given the basic right to eat like a person.

(But perhaps he's lost the right to be a person, after he assumed his role as the Thin Man. A monster doesn't need to eat. So where does that put her?

A monster, still.

But one parading as a human.

The most terrifying kind of monster.)

"Come here," she says, gesturing towards herself with a hand wave. "Come here, and I will feed you a meal."

"I cannot."

"Do they call you the Thin Man because you starve yourself willingly?" She's glad the mask she wears hides her sneer, but judging by how the Thin Man hunches his shoulders up, he can still tell what kind of face she makes. "I am the Lady of the Maw. It is my duty to feed those who come aboard my ship."

"I am not aboard your ship," he reminds her gently. "I am a figure on a screen."

"You are starving."

"I am not. I feed off of the-"

"Yes, I know." She barely skims over the rest of his words as she continues to gesture emphatically. "But that's not the same as eating. Now that I think about it, I'm surprised you managed to kidnap me when I was a child. How do you have any strength to chase down and grab nimble little children?"

For a moment, the Thin Man merely sits in his chair, refusing to answer. She taps at the screen, now growing more concerned for the physical state of his being.

"...Mono?"

"I don't." She can almost hear his hushed, sheepish tone through those two words. "I don't have any strength. Now that I'm in this state, I understand better the methods my prior self used to terrorize us. Do you remember when he kidnapped you, and how he didn't make too much of an effort to physically grab you?"

She nods, speechless as she recalls those traumatic moments with clarity.

"He used his power to pull you into his grasp. It wasn’t a show of strength - rather, it was because he had no strength. I already feel so feeble as I am now. Imagine how he must have felt. I bet the reason he disappeared immediately after was to return to the Tower before you could break his fingers apart to escape."

"Mono..."

"And when he chased me down, all he would do was walk forward and teleport closer." Another pause. "Six," his words begin, "I don't think I have it in me to do anything more than a slow walk. Any faster, and I'm sure to be winded. I’m sure that standing up too quickly will have me passing out onto the floor."

"Oh, Mono." She places both her hands on the screen, pressing against it desperately as if to try and grab him herself. "You need to come here right now and eat."

"I don't think eating is going to solve my physical weakness."

"But it's a start!" She thumps against the screen as her worry reaches levels she thought she'd never experience again. "Come here for a meal, you absolutely malnourished man!"

"I cannot. I'm literally locked behind a door. At most, I can reach through with just my arms, but I don't think I can just waltz out so easily."

"Then take some food with you!"

"I can only take children and Viewers."

"Then take me!" She very nearly shakes the television in frustration. "Oh- but first, let me grab some food for you to eat-"

"Six, please." He lifts his arms up and gestures placatingly. "You hate it here."

"But I hate knowing that you've been left to starve for years." Which is the result of her letting him go. The guilt gnaws at her - it’s one thing to know that she'd left him to rot and suffer alone, but she never imagined just how extreme it was. "Please, it's the one thing I have to offer."

The only thing she has to offer.

"It's alright, Six." She hates how comforting he can make his words. As if she deserves his comfort. "I don't need food."

"I don't care." She grips the television tightly as memories of their youth come trickling forth. They'd shared food together once. Whatever scraps they came across, they would eat together. He always gave her the larger half despite being the bigger of the two. It was always just like him to do. Even now, when she has a bounty of food to share, he still turns it down with the same old excuse.

He doesn't need it.

"I'm fine."

"Then let me see your arms."

"Excuse me?"

"Show me your arms." She crosses her own and glares at the screen. "Let me see the true state of your being."

"I'm a monster, it doesn't matter."

"It matters to me, a fellow monster." The screen flickers at her words. "Let me see you."

The sound of static fills the air as his words no longer appear. There's a moment where she believes he will simply turn off the screen and leave her filled with rage, but shock colors her as the screen distorts with two large hands pressed against it. It's oddly familiar how his hands push through the screen as though it were nothing more than plastic, arms dangling and unmoving as she approaches him. Gently, she grabs his arm and pushes the suit sleeve up. His skin is horribly pale - she could compare him to a ghost, but the thought of him being dead frightens her. Instead, she compares the width of his arm to hers and... he's terribly thin.

Of course, he IS the Thin Man but still. She thought herself petite and thin as is, but he is barely skin and bones. Practically just bones, really. She gives his arm a squeeze, horrified to find that she can easily encircle his wrist between her thumb and pointer finger. More than encircle even. When she squeezes, she half expects there to be no bone at all and is relieved to find some sort of physical resistance to her grip. Isn't he supposed to be the bigger of the two? How had he even managed to keep a firm grip on her as a child?

This man needs a full course meal. And then three different types of dessert. Her mind races with all the things she could feed him - something easily digestible, a soup perhaps? No, a stew. With fish, of course, he seems the type to be wary of meat and justifiably so. Ah, but if she tells him of the source, then perhaps he would be willing to eat some meat. He could have a part of her share even. Oh, and he probably needs other nutrients too, not just protein. There's probably some vegetables to spare. A bit of fruit if they're lucky. She wouldn't mind parting with the luxury items of the Maw if it meant ensuring that the Thin Man was simply thin and not emaciated.

A slight tug from her hands has her startle out of her thoughts. She looks down and finds the Thin Man's arms retreating back into the screen, and a brief flash of fear has her grabbing his arms. There's a struggle as she hangs onto his arms to try and tug them out of the screen, while the Thin Man struggles to pull them back inside. No, she can't let him go just yet. Not when she's so close to having him here to stay.

"Wait," she begs, "don't go yet. I want to try. At least let me try, please?"

His arms freeze in place, before falling limp and hanging over the television's edge. She gives them a gentle squeeze, unnerved by how she swears she can feel every edge and curve of his bone even through the layers of clothing he wears. There must be something she can do, something to ease her mind, even if it's just for a little bit.

(She never liked it when he willingly starved himself for her sake.)

"Promise me you'll wait for me here." He's a sneaky one, this Thin Man. If she turns her back on him, there's a chance he'll slither his way back to his domain and never return. She needs to guarantee that he won't leave her so soon. Of course, the other doesn't respond. His words don't appear on the screen, and for some reason, he chooses to remain silent. Perhaps it's the screen getting in the way, or maybe he's lost his voice. Whatever it may be, words fail to make certain that he won't run away from her.

It's childish, really, the solution she comes up with. But she thinks it fits him, knowing that he was more of the sentimental type between the two of them. She holds her pinky out in front of him, curled slightly to make a hook.

"Pinky promise me."

They say actions speak louder than words.

The Thin Man's arm raises before it jolts and hesitates. She can see him considering and reconsidering, wondering if it's all worth the hassle. But he's the sentimental type, the kind that finds value in little, childish vows like this.

(He once presented her with a pinky promise. "Promise we'll stay friends forever?" Her finger hooked with his as she smiled and kept their vow tied closely around their pinkies.

"Promise.")

He hooks his pinky with hers, giving it a firm shake to reassure her that he'll keep his promise. Slowly, she lets go of his finger and backs away from the television. His arms remain hanging in place as he waits for her obediently. With a firm nod, she turns away quickly and rushes off to find him some food. Ideally, she'd like for him to take back a bowl of soup. The Chefs must have made a fresh stew by now, but the contents are skeptical at best, and she remembers her own misadventures in the kitchen, creating havoc and tossing in random items she found lying around as the Chefs were none-the-wiser.

So maybe not.

A sandwich maybe? Ah, but that ran the risk of it being made with a mystery meat. The idea of the Thin Man accidentally eating child meat disgusts her, and the hurt he will feel from the deception may make him want to never reach out to her again, so that idea is rejected as well.

Maybe something with fish? It's a safe bet. There are no mystery ingredients, no ways that the food could be tampered with by wayward children trying to escape her ship.

She has to be quick; keeping a guest waiting for their meal is never a good sign of a caring host. The Lady makes herself a plate of pan-seared fish, the Chefs babbling between themselves as she intrudes in their kitchen. They make themselves scarce as she glares at them from behind her mask, shadows working for her as she makes a simple dish of fish and greens.

When she returns, shadows falling away like a graceful shawl shrugged off, the Thin Man's arms are still hanging in place, waiting like promised. She smiles behind her mask and presents the plate of food proudly.

"Here, take this." She presses the plate into his hands and watches as they curl around it carefully. "Don't worry about returning the plate - I have plenty already."

Again, the Thin Man hesitates. She nods to the plate and gestures to the screen. Take it inside, she wordlessly says, and eat your fill. He brings it to the screen to pull the food in. The plate clanks against the glass and goes no further. Frowning, she steps closer and tries pushing the plate in.

No dice.

A growl of frustration escapes her. Of course. Nothing nice can ever happen. Still, she tries to force the plate in with greater force, ignoring how it slides against the glass and threatens to spill the food. A large hand takes her own, gently cupping it as he pulls it off the plate. She's startled into a stop and allows him to place the plate down in front of the television.

It's still warm.

He could eat it and feel warm. He could eat it and feel full. He could eat it and tell her that her cooking is wonderful, or good, or even just alright. She just wants him to eat. She wants him to enjoy something for once, after she took away his chance at happiness by letting him go.

(Countlessly. Endlessly. Over and over and over again, the loops continue with no end in sight as they run the same track over and over and over and over and over and over-)

Hands cup her face, rubbing under the eye holes as if to wipe away any tears. She's not crying. She hasn't cried since she was a child. Monsters don't deserve the right to cry. And yet, here he is, comforting her as if she were. Monster to monster. She holds onto his hands, so large and thin and nothing like she remembers as a child, and threads their fingers together.

"I'm sorry," she says, because there's nothing else to say.

He doesn't answer back with words, only actions. A gentle squeeze, a soft brush. Even as an adult he's so tender towards her. It's more than she deserves. What will it take to make him happy again? He pulls a hand away, only to present his hooked pinky to her.

She tilts her head (pressing it closer to the hand that remains on her face) and hums with a barely there confusion. A promise? But for what? Still, she humors him, hooking their pinkies together for whatever promise he may have. Whatever he wants, she will give it to him.

It's what she owes him, after all these years.

He pulls his hands back into the screen, the loss of warmth already making her cold. She doesn't try to grab him and force him to stay, however. It's not within her rights to do so, to beg for him to linger outside just a bit longer. The screen stabilizes as his figure returns to being the center of the screen, ever so distant.

"What was that promise for?" she begins, not waiting for him to begin their conversation. The familiar font pops up on the bottom of the screen, and she traces the letters as he speaks.

"I promised that one day, we'd share a meal together."

A laugh escapes her as she presses two fingers on the word "together". Oh, how nice that would be. "That’s quite the fantasy to have."

"Yes," he agrees, "but a fantasy I wouldn't mind chasing."

She hums, not wanting him to know how much she feels her hope clinging to that promise.

"So now you truly owe me a meal."

"Of course, but you can't complain about my cooking."

"Well that's hardly fair - what if it's terrible?"

"Then you smile and swallow and tell me that it's lovely."

"You're the worst."

Even though she can't hear him, she knows he’s laughing with her as she presses her hand against the screen.

The loop ends with the cold rain's drizzle and the taste of stagnant air as a hopeful promise lingers just a little bit too long in silence.

15 notes · View notes

like-rain-or-confetti · 3 years

Note

Can you do a little text with your opinion about the Volturi members? What you like and dislike, they personality, they story... Would be interesting! Kissessss and have a great day! 💜

Imma have a little fun and throw the very young me into the mix to. Let's see child me vs adult me's opinions on the Volturiiii.

Fun fact: I wasn't team Volturi until I was like fifteen. Before that I was team edward... I don't want to talk about that 🤔😒

Also I'm a sucker for villains. If it isn't obvious already, I like the villains more than the heroes. (We all love a bad boy though, don't we?--- TIK TOK NOW IS NOT THE TIMEE.)

So everything i say is just my opinion and should be taken just as that.

Aro: Younger me was like "this...is a terrible person. There really is no need to expand on this." However adult me has been like "GUYS this guy is possibly the SCARIEST character. This man rips off heads AND SMILES ABOUT IT." He gives me child snatcher vibes (from the movies in particular). I thoroughly enjoy the power hungry persona. He's really fitting to be the puppeteer behind the Volturi. Even if he makes it seem it's a group effort with himself, Marcus and Caius. Realistically, Aro gets what he wants and isn't afraid to do what it takes to get it...sorry Didyme. What's even darker about it, WHICH I LOVE, is that he isn't heartless. Smeyer wrote that Aro genuinely loved his sister. It's all good to have a character that's a evil heartless monster but what's more terrifying to me is the ability for someone to do evil despite their love and emotions. It doesn't hold them back and that's what I find particularly frightening now that child me didn't comprehend. Micheal Sheen, from what I remember of his interview years ago, played on the idea that vampires of Aro's age kinda begin to lose their mind. Which, hell freaking yes. However there is one thing I hate for Aro's character that happened in the movies. Breaking dawn part 2. That fucking laugh. Don't get me wrong, hilarious. I can't not laugh but for his character I felt it was too 'hey hey I'm a crazy man hehe'. It was a but too much, even for an eccentric Aro. However, I'm not to mad at it because again, it was funny to watch. I thoroughly enjoy the ‘friendship’ Aro and Carlisle share and i love that it is ‘maintained’ throughout the books. I think it’s just a really nice detail. (I love lore. I am a sucker for it.) The one thing that didnt sit right with me is Aro marrying someone so that he wasnt the alone one whilst his co-leaders were very much in love? Was a little off for me but i suppose that just adds to the character.

Caius: child me would shrink into the seat because what did I do to this man? High key still think I wouldn't want to be Caius' child because imagine doing something wrong and you get that glare? No thank you! Scary angry man. As an adult... "He's an angry boi but...DAYUM WHY IS HE SUDDENLY SO HOT?" Just...don't get angry with me. You'll get annoying real quick and you're too pretty for that. I enjoy the taking-no-shit attitude he has but felt it could have been a little more prominent in BDP2 where Aro asks if Caius' is challenging him. I full believe Caius to an extend would be like "yes, yes I am. Don't be an idiot Aro. Use that braincell!" Which is why I adore the meme vibes I see every now and then of Caius hating Carlisle because why does Aro love that blonde so much? CAIUS HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT LOYAL-- Anyways, I can totally get why Aro wants him on his team. Caius is so angry and has so much hatred that he’s a good asset to the coven, even if not having a special ability.I do find it hard to imagine that Caius is a century older than Aro though. Although I cant picture him over forty years old lol. Although i do personally enjoy the whole Caius x Athenodora route. IT’S TRUE LOVE! Okay so maybe thats a little dramatic but its better than Aro’s lmao.

Marcus: movie Marcus is absolutely not nineteen years old and that's just a fact. If anything, he's the forty year old one lmao. Child me couldn't care about this man. He was the man who said nothing and slumped on a throne. That was Marcus. That was his character summed up. Then adult me rolled in and OMG NO DON'T DO THIS TO THIS SWEET MAN. LET HIM BE IN LOVE. As an adult i definitely became more attached. I feel like i was too young back then to get why Marcus was in the Volturi. He seemed very out of place and like a filler co-leader more than anything. However as i’ve gotten older (and written for him), I recognised that's the point. That’s Marcus’ evident grief. He isn’t there by choice and losing Didyme caused him to fall out of line with the coven. He’s lost point or purpose. Almost like its become meaningless because the love of his life was gone and he couldn't save her.So what was the aims of the Volturi to protect vampire kind when they couldn’t protect their own? He couldnt protect her. I had never heard of anything like bond identification and once i had- i was shook, like it became clear why he had been so necessary in the first place. That really is handy to understand everyones bonds in a coven, he could direct Chelsea and the two alone could destroy covens by bonds alone. Marcus makes the Volturi more realistic in a lot of ways. Like in a family, there is the happy times, goofy people like Felix, the twins representing a close bond. Afton and Chelsea, love that cant be divided. The list really goes on. Marcus represents love and heartbreak, pain, loss grief, the sad moments every family goes through. In that way he makes the coven seem less invincible, a group of people who at the end of the day, have their own weaknesses and immortality doesn’t mean a perfect existence. Especially when, in my opinion, Bella fantasized about immortality and how perfect it would be. Even after her change, she waited for her happy ending because that was somehow guaranteed in some level. Which in the end, she got but not everyone gets that happy ending we all want. I also personally think Marcus is the most feeling of the Volturi, despite being apathetic. A result of heartbreak. It’s shown he can still feel more in his own ways when he voted against Renesmee being destroyed. Furthermore, he advocated that vampire hybrids were a lot like vampires. He made that relation openly before anyone. Its almost as though losing Didyme helped him value a life?

Jane and Alec: Child me thought these two were badass...and that still remains in my adult life. It’s always been uncomfortable to me that someone so young is so sadistic and powerful. Jane is the older twin with the ability of pain illusion...yikes. Her ability was evident in her human life along with Alec’s. His gift is sensory deprivation and these two were my favourites in the whole Saga. Still kind of are if im honest. I thoroughly enjoy the twins backstory. It has the most detail. I have a tag for the twins. Canon!twins is the tag for the twins in their book age. Unless this tag is present, the twins have been aged up :). They are very much canon but I put a bit more emphasis on tantrums. If they get angry, they both have tantrums. So whilst (unless tagged) they aren't children they can be very childish and these tantrums are pretty deadly. They’re also very possessive? I dont even know if thats the right word i’m looking for in all honesty. Lets say they get very attached if they like you. These two are probably the most secluded out of the whole Volturi.

Felix: Felix! High ranking guard due to strength and speed. I am a major supporter of Felix being a gladiator when he was human. He as a lighter grey cloak meaning he isn’t as high ranked but is so good at what he does that he’s been kept for centuries...and a lot of them. Personality? FINALLY, WE’VE GOT ONE WITH PERSONALITY!! (Im writing these out of order and i’ve just finished a chunk of Volturi members who have personalities as invisible as Afton.) Flirtatious and Light hearted, we love flirtatious and light hearted! Basically a comedian! Helllll yes, keep it going! Extremely vicious and highly aggressive? You know what? I still like it. He wouldn’t be a Volturi without a dark side. Cold blooded murderer. Yes. 10/10. Finally, someone Smeyer seems to actually care about. He flirted with Bella a couple of times in the books and i was FOR IT ALL THE WAY. I was very sad i saw none of it in the movies but im used to heartbreak by now. Im in this fandom after all. We were robbed of a lot. Strongest vampire in the world? I believe you, he’s also a hecking treeeeee. HE DO BE A TALL BOI. He actually makes Demetri look small and that’s still hilarious to me. Demetri is actually tall. However, if it isnt obvious we clearly traded backstory for personality. I cant get both smh. So...as i said before I fully believe Felix was a gladiator back in the day, hence his physique and height and excellent fighting abilities he has even as a vampire but then it kind of ends. I will say from the dawn of time, i don’t think Felix is the most academic man, just because of his era. I also think majority of the Volturi couldn’t read of write in their human lives and had to learn much older, most learning as vampires. Felix was one of these vampires, Although even now he isnt the most great at it. Then a wonderful writer known as @wallwriterstuff included it and now it’s canon in my eyes. I fully believe Felix is a slow reader and writing isn’t his strong suit either. Wallwriter also includes the possibility that Felix could be dyslexic which im all for too. For a very long time i’ve considered writing a dyslexic reader with the Volturi but have always hesitated because i don’t have it and wouldn’t want to upset someone for any misunderstandings or inaccuracies. However what i will say is that i think vampires would be the most understanding to humans with dyslexia. Learning things like that in later development or as an adult is difficult and they wouldnt think any less of you for struggling with reading, writing, numeracy- you name it. You’ll probably find they’re with you in the struggle at least half of the time. He’s also the goofball of the Volturi, even though he’s not really a goofball in our eyes, he’s the closest to a goofball out of the whole Volturi ...Emmett beats him in the Goofball wars.

Demetri: Oh yeah, it's Demetri's turn! So Demetri was previously in Amun's coven. When Chelsea gave him the old razzle dazzle...I've said Chelsea's gift so many times at this point it's getting old. I have two characters left after Demetri 😂😂 Anyway, with that Demetri was like "welp, I'm in the Volturi now." And now that they had a better tracker the previous one was kicked out. He isn’t much of a talker, polite and formal. He’s elegant (more graceful than i could ever be) and charming...yeah he is, you can say that AGAIN. He is also very calm, when next to Felix, i think everyone is calm but you know, we’ll say he’s a very calm person. I like how he was originally in the Egyptian coven with Amun. Given Amun’s goals this a pretty nice detail. NOW LETS GO TO MY VERSION. He’s very charming, calm, polite, formal and even a lil’ but quiet, i kept him pretty canon because he actually had a description to go on :)))))))))) Moving on. Demetri can be a very successful flirt when he wants to be and does have a Casanova reputation. However beyond the charming Volturi guard who has a brutal side like the rest of them, he has a chewy centre, deep down. I added that he had a child in his human life, one he doesn’t remember and very few people know about. He remembers that they died of an illness very young (around six?) but can’t remember what they look like. For that reason he doesn’t like talking about his child, he feels awful he doesn’t remember them and the loss still hits a pang in his chest.

Heidi: Alright im ready for this one! Child me didn’t necessarily enjoy Heidi? I was rather passive about her. It was all ‘pretty vampire used for her looks’ in my eyes back then and i was never comfortable with that. I’ll get into my take on Heidi in a moment, roll on the backstory! So Heidi knew Victoria as they used to be coven mates and we’re going to continue on as though Heidi didn’t care when she was killed? Like...its genuinely a burning question in my mind! If she didn't care, could that show the extent of Chelsea’s power in action!? (can we tell im enthusiastic about this coven yet?) It’s quite smart to have someone lure in prey. I wont lie, Heidi has quite the badass role in the coven. I wouldn't have thought about that I reckon. I’ve always thought that showed a kind of superiority. Oh you guys need to hunt your prey? pfft, ours literally comes to us. Her backstory really starts with Heidi being mistreated in her human life...a common theme Smeyer has. It can get old- i wont lie but when i give it some thought it kind of makes sense. Rosalie said it herself in eclipse, if any one of them had their happy ending, they’d be six feet under but i’d love a little bit more creativity. I could go on about how male vampires ended up being changed in comparison to female vampires but i’ll swiftly move on because that’s a whole other thing alone. Heidi was changed out of pity. (Which kinda infuriates me just to type, a pity change? Really? Really Hilda? we’ll see why it annoys me when i explain my take on Heidi.) Heidi was happy in her coven with Hilda, Victoria etc, which is hell yes. We love that. This is around the time she discovered her gift. Vampires were attracted to her and humans fell prey to her easily. Yup okay. I’ll take that. After a newborn vampire caused ‘too much attention’ Aro spared Heidi and Chelsea used her gift on Heidi. Nice, very nice aaaaand that’s where it stops and im left hanging. Personality time with Smeyer! Lets goooo. From what i remember and can find- she didn’t fucking have one. Apparently being pretty is enough for everyone. Which in hindsight, fair enough on a human Bella’s perspective, its literally Heidi’s gift to lure you in no matter what. She could tell you she’s a serial killer (and technically is lmao) and is about to sell your kidneys on the black market as to which you’ll be like ‘sign me the fuck up, want my liver too? Here, let me lie on the table for you. I’m down.’ without even realising what just happened. But even beyond that...Heidi has no personality traits mentioned. In New Moon she appears to be a little flirty which im all for, why the hell not? But...thats it? Thats all I get? Then we get into fanfictions, because i read them growing up. Heidi was depicted as flirtatious, promiscuous and then it varied between manipulative or she wasnt very smart. Which i’m knocking absolutely no one for. I think you can get a badass character who is incredibly dumb. I think all characters are actually valid whether they’re a genius or flat out dumb. I love them all. However it never really sat with me. I was never quite satisfied which i was fine with until i started writing for myself. That’s when i knew i’d have to really think about what my version of Heidi would be or i’d never be happy with my work. That and you also begin to fill in the blanks? The more you write the more you flesh out a character for yourself and so that rolls into my version of Heidi! So for my Heidi, she often gets the same trope of ‘she’s pretty and rich, those types of girls have easy lives who always had everything given to them.’ Then when it’s discovered she didn’t have a good human life. It turns to the next assumption of ‘oh she’s pretty and stupid enough to be used and manipulated’. In a lot of ways, that’s what Heidi wants everyone to think. Underestimate her, please, its all the easier to manipulate you if you do. She’s actually very smart and her rough human life made her more tough and intelligent. She’s very manipulative and yes she’s very flirty. You can look but you cant touch! She enjoys the attention her beauty gets her but if only these people would care more about what she’s like as a person. She’s not a barbie doll she will play you if she needs to. The only one who’s actually gotten far enough to sleep with Heidi is Demetri and even then the two don’t see each other romantically. They’re good friends who thinks the other is very attractive but that's where it ends. They’re basically friends with benefits some times lmao. However, Demetri got that far because he see’s the intellect Heidi actually has and acknowledges it. He thinks shes a queen who should be treated as such. She could take anything she wanted, a storm that people can only hope to survive in one piece. Secretly she enjoys a family setting. Whilst she never really wanted children (especially when she was expected to when human), she couldn't help but melt inside seeing little human children with their loving parents. She wants that for all children. Whether that's because she lacked such affection growing up, no one knows. She’s also a really good friend, you bet she’ll have your back. Crappy ex? Well we’ll show them, wont we (Y/N)? She’ll be a bitch and enjoy every second of it. She also loves the single life, believe it or not, you’ll have more difficulty getting Heidi to settle down than you would Demetri which speaks volumes. So yeah, move past her gift and really get to know her and you might have a very good friend. I also don’t see Heidi having a preference between male or females and that’s in all honesty. Times have changed and if she is attracted to another female then she wont be ashamed of it. She never has been (Demetri was the first to figure that out, Felix may be the last.) Even when the times weren’t approving of different sexualities, she didn't care. She will flirt with you and find it ridiculously cute if you get flustered.

Sulpicia: Sulpicia was an orphan which i used to develop my own version of her. Sulpicia grew to love Aro which im on the fence about but yup, i’ll take it. You’ll see what happens with my version in a bit lmao. and that’s where it stops. I get no personality again but do you know what we do in this fandom? We create one and fill in the blanks baby! So i write Sulpicia very materialistic and vain, she’s most snobbish of the wives and due to the other two, also considered the meaner one. She didnt have such things as a child being an orphan so when she got the opportunity to have it-she jumped. She isnt easily impressed and married Aro not for love but for immortality, money and status. (He’s only married you for your money, princess Jasmine! HE ONLY MARRIED YOU FOR YOUR MONEY! Damn it tik tok, but make it princess Aro) Which works well, because Aro doesnt necessarily love her either, he just wanted a mate so he wasnt the odd one out.He literally created her because he was like “Yup, you’ll do.” The two recognised they made a great team and image so they kinda grew to love each other? A little bit? Sure we’ll say its love...sorta. ANYWAY, It’s a highlight to Sulpicia being locked in that tower where she doesnt need to see Aro every little moment, it’s better than having a husband who she’d need to see everyday. ...Yeah my Sulpicia is something else lmao.

Athenodora: Athenodora is one of the oldest vampires in existence which kinda has me shook but I'll take it. She met Caius when he was fleeing from the Romanians, the two travelled together until they met Aro. Whilst on their nomadic travels they seemingly became mates. That's all we know about that. As to which the Volturi coven was made. Athenodora is completely loyal to Caius as well as highly dependent on him and I think that's very realistic given her circumstances. That's where their story ends...maybe for Smeyer but not for me! 😁 So I picture Caius and Athenodora being different sides of the same coin. Athenodora really mellows Caius, she is no where near is violent and sadistic as he is but due to her unwavering loyalty and dependency, she doesn't feel inclination to go against him...also because of Chelsea and Corin but I've said that so many times in this post I think we get the point. I think she's actually more gentle and soft spoken but that being said. She is very reserved and if she were to be angered she'd very much change. She could cut you down with words alone. Caius loves it. However beyond this is someone who is very maternal. Caius would appreciate it more if the two had children but instead it has created empathy. Caius doesn't want that when he can rip their head off. She struggles a little more with the 'no second chances' and that's another reason why Caius keeps her locked away and away from it. These two love each other more than words can describe. After being through so much with someone, the love can only grow. The two would happily risk their life for the other. Caius is saddened that he could never give her the family she wanted. He knows that to this day, Athenodora tries to reign in that side of her. He's a very supportive husband who's very different around his wife. He's much more tolerant, and angry. Simply more at ease. If anything happened to Athenodora, to put it simply...there would be hell to pay.

Didyme: Married to Marcus and Aro’s biological sister. Cute, me likely, keepy going. Her gift was happiness induction. VERY ADORABLE- Dont be as menacing as your brother...please. She was born several years after Aro and was changed by Aro ten and a half years after he was turned. (Dont tease me with all this lore Smeyer, I know what you’re gonna do) Aro was deeply disappointed her gift was just to make people happy- its okay Didyme, we love you. Aro is just...Aro. Her gift made many fall in love with her and its so freaking cute i CANT- but she only felt the same feelings for Marcus. MY HEART IS SO WARMMMM. Unfortunately they were so happy together that they lost interest in anything Volturi and were ready to leave. (Uh oh.) Aro, being the sneaky fellow he is, was like “I’m really happy for y’all of course you can leave. I love you my babies. My best friend and my sisterrrrrrr, I am the captain of this SHIP.” but was actually like “wait, no, no, no, not my Marcus. D-D-Did-Didyme I NEED him.” Think Sid the Sloth from ice age in the first movie when Sid really wants the baby. So this man is like...gonna have to do it to em and murder. He killed Didyme secretly (dunno how he pulled the secret part off- like i know how he did it but how did no one hear or see anything or even suspect anything IT WAS LITERAL FRIENDLY FIRE but we love the drama so continue.) Ironically enough she was very close with Aro and the two actually did love each other, Aro is just...murderous apparently, to the extent that even his sister isnt safe. And that’s it. That’s Didyme. Which im like...alright Smeyer i see you. I like this and expanded on this with my Didyme. i get the vibes that Didyme is the most innocent and kind of all the Volturi. Losing her meant losing the consciousness within the Volturi making them all the more ruthless because there was no one to say. “Guys, maybe lets rethink this? and quickly because i cant get Caius to put down the torch thats currently on fire.” Losing Didyme made Marcus mostly become passive and would rarely stop anything that happened. I often wonder if that provoked a lot of guilt for Marcus later on. (However thats a spoiler for something im currently writing...;) ) I also think of her as a major daydreamer and the most soft, gentle person anyone will ever meet. Like its difficult not to like her despite being in the Volturi, even the Romanians would have struggled if they met her. So in the long run...i hate nothing about Didyme, only find more and more love lmao.

Corin: So im going to be honest and tell you i have no idea what Corin would look like. I’ve got nothing and when i was younger i wasnt even sure if Corin was male or female. Like a lot of these names, i had never heard of the name ‘Corin’. I dont write for her as of yet because im still trying to figure her out. I think she’s quite quiet, she lets her gift do most of the work for her in keeping the wives, Chelsea and Caius when he doesnt get to go on a rampage, content. She was brought in also after Didyme died but Marcus refused her gift.That’s all i’ve got for her. Her gift is amazing, pretty underrated in my personal opinion since like Chelsea, she really helps keep the Volturi unified but other than that, I dont have much to say about her. :(

Afton: Another character i basically filled the blanks in for myself. So what we’re told is that he’s Chelsea’s mate and has the ability to disappear . Whilst thats a pretty cool trick...the volturi dont necessarily need it but they have to keep Chelsea happy and she demands that Afton stays so welcome to the family Afton! I also recently learned that if you hide behind Afton and he goes invisible infront of an opponent, you too will also be invisible. I figure that is until the opponent moves and basically changes their perspective but i could be wrong with that last part. That’s all we get so time for my unnecessary input! SO AFTON IS A TOTAL SWEETHEART. He’s very shy but polite. This is a complete opposite to his mate Chelsea. It’s actually what she liked about him. At first is was just be flirtatious to the shy vampire but when she actually got to know him... she fell hard. It was also Chelsea who had made the first move since Afton was so shy. Of course she’d never say so and Afton would never want to embarrass her so that was never really disclosed to anyone who wasn’t around at that time. She brings Afton out of his shell a lot and it wasn’t long before the two were mates. Chelsea is the light of his life. Hands down. He puts up with a lot for her and is happy to do so. She could ask anything of him and he’d do it and she doesn’t even need to use her gift. He buys are anything she wants almost instantly. He cant help but adore her passionate personality, like how hooked she can get on era’s such as the 1920′s, her love for jazz music and her ability to gush on and on about anything. The two had what the other lacked and that made them an excellent team. I love their relationship. I cant help it. However, as i said before Afton is very shy and tends to keep to himself. Sadly that, paired with Chelsea’s demand to keep him in the Volturi has left Afton a little bit outcasted. All the other permanent guards were wanted and considered important whilst Afton...not so much. Although that isn’t to say the other guards are mean to him or anything. They aren’t! (Except the twins who are...the twins.) Felix and Demetri tried to include him a lot but it was very difficult to break him out of his shell. That doesn’t mean to say they wont invite Afton when he’s around. Chelsea always appreciates their efforts. Afton is notably good friends with Santiago, who often preferred solitude as well.

(Guard to the left is who I imagine Afton is)

Chelsea: So supposedly Chelsea’s original name is Charmion? When i was younger i didnt really care much about her. I only really knew her gift and that she was the reason Afton was kept in the Volturi, since they were mates. From what im aware Chelsea basically wasnt in the movies/not identified. There wasnt much said about her in the books either. So since then i’ve kind of developed my own persona of Chelsea that could be completely inaccurate to canon but canon was my foundations with characters like these. She was always a red head in my eyes with ringlets, a copper kind of red head. I also pictured her to be small. However the newest addition to her character would have to be the mid-Atlantic accent. I blame Poppy Hill for this one. That character screamed Chelsea to me. She was very close to how i imagine Chelsea to be. So now Chelsea has an accent that i have no clue how she managed to maintain being in Italy so long and being born in Greece. LMAO. We’ll say she was very attached to that time. However, I think the time she joined the Volturi was actually very good for the story. She first came around just after Marcus had lost Didyme and Aro had her use her ability to keep Marcus in the coven. it’s really cool how she could really make or break the coven. Although, Aro was smart enough to not fully rely on her, using Corin’s ability on Chelsea to make sure she’d be happy and stay within the Volturi. Thats where the information on Chelsea really ends Over the years Chelsea has appeared in my writing and so beyond this point, Chelsea’s character is only my depiction. I figure Chelsea is a talker, like she can talk her way in and out of situations with ease. She enjoys being manipulated and even more so, being needed.Much like her gift, she gets under people’s skin- not in terms that she’s annoying but more so she can figure out people very well. Her mate is the complete opposite and so she often speaks on the behalf of them. Chelsea is very social and charismatic. She along with Heidi are the only two Volturi members who will be out and interacting with humans if necessary. Heidi for her ability but Chelsea purely for her social skills. She’s also the most interested in human culture. She loves the parties- the 1920′s being her favourite era in terms of fashion. She has no issue changing her name and has done so multiple times when the names run out of fashion.It’s like playing dress up! I’d actually love to write more about her. I’ve really grown to love her character, even if i filled in some blanks for myself. I think she and Afton’s relationship is one of the best, up there with Carlisle and Esme- despite the two being very different. It’s a part of their dynamic!

(I always imagined Chelsea to be a red head but Poppy Hill from THOHH is a very close depiction to Chelsea in my eyes)

Renata: A stressed little bean that lives on stress. I remember thinking when i was younger she was the big threat since she was Aro’s shield but now that im older i see...a stressed little five foot bean. I have no idea what she looks like but always imagine her dark hair tied in a tight bun, looking almost painful. Another who wears heels, like Heidi but she is very rigid just as she has been described. Her uncle is a bit of an ass considering he begged her to go with the Volturi so there wouldn’t be a threat. Dude, can you not just...hand over your niece? At least hesitate! Just like that, thanks to Chelsea, she’d give her life to protect Aro and...I have nothing else. Yes it does drive me mad that there are two named guards i know next to nothing about.

Santiago:So what’s known about Santiago is that he doesn’t actually have an ability. He’s just very good at battle techniques and fighting which is why he’s kept around. If they need fighters, they’re top three are Felix, Demetri and Santiago...in that order. Santiago is also much faster than a regular vampire (as shown in breaking dawn part 2- he caught up to Jacob and Renesmee quite fast despite the two having a running start and wolves supposedly being very fast- much like a vampire) That’s all we know of him so then i got in there and this is how I write Santiago. I gave him the background of coming from a superstitious family. Like he would be told tales of demons and witches growing up as well as things like voodoo. He knew an awful lot of urban legends and whilst he stopped believing in the bad luck his family taught him, he still held interest and couldn’t help the instinct of unease when witnessing such things as rituals. It’s ironic really. However Santiago always deems that humans have it all wrong. These forces are beyond human understanding and shouldn’t be played with. In that way, perhaps Santiago still has some belief in things such as superstition. He’s very secretive about it and would never clarify it for you. Santiago keeps to himself and can be quite standoffish. He can also be blunt even if it’s insulting- he doesn’t tend to care. Although he and Afton became quite good friends since the Afton was an outcast and Santiago didn’t enjoy large groups, or most people in general.

34 notes · View notes