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#that go from moderate to high to very high to catastrophic
anabanana-romanova · 7 months
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Me, a 17 year old with ADHD and sleep deprivation in the car: *spots a fire danger sign* gasp! The fire rating is high!
Me: *hisses* stop doing drugs!
My 50 year old father who has dealt with me making stupid noises with the pipes at the hardware store for about half a hour: wh-
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morlock-holmes · 28 days
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@poipoipoi-2016 posted this, and I have thoughts that are entirely unrelated to the context it was originally reposted in.
First, I don't like the way it assumes that capability is a sort of set metric, that some workers are just good enough to do O-Ring work and some aren't, because process design and environmental factors will also play a role.
In an uncontroversial environmental design example, I think it's quite likely that even good workers make more mistakes at the end of a 100 hour work week then they do at the end of a 40 hour work week.
So who decided on those 100 hour work weeks?
Second, process design; there's an apocryphal story I heard about nurses plugging IV tubes into the wrong ports, no matter how thoroughly they were trained, until somebody gets the smart idea to redesign the shape of the ports so that you can't plug them in wrong anymore.
I also have a real life example from my brother, who works in safety. His employer was a crucial industry that had to stay open during the pandemic, and so HR came up with a very complicated worker's comp scheme for people who had COVID symptoms and needed to stay home. Part of the policy is that people who stayed home got paid 60% of their salary.
My brother told them, "Hey, a lot of the people covered by this policy are working paycheck to paycheck, and if you tell them that they have to take a 40% pay cut every time they sneeze, they are going to come in to work anyway and pretend to be healthy"
From what he's told me, HR's response was essentially that tweet where the 911 operator says, "He can't kill you, that's illegal!"
So I know a lot of you know math, and I've been thinking a lot about the psychology of certain choices, in particular choices where you have two paths:
In path A, you definitely pay a moderate cost.
In path B, one of two things happen. Most of the time, you pay no cost at all. But occasionally path B creates catastrophically high costs.
I'm curious how people think about situations like that mathematically.
I feel like there's a point at which the moderate cost of path A gets high enough that, when presented with the choice, most people will choose path B, even though the expected cost of constantly choosing path B works out to be much higher.
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thedreadvampy · 10 months
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Scuse me doing a vent
The situation is thus:
My partner's partner has recently ended a very messy and toxic relationship. both they and their ex were hot messes in the most unhelpfully complementary way and they sent each other into an increasingly toxic spiral - the ex was clingy, paranoid and overbearing and the partner's partner was frequently cold, unkind, belittling and downright nasty to and about them. they broke up and got back together over and over again even though it was incredibly clear that they were making each other miserable.
there was some moderate messiness around the breakup. before the breakup I had sat down with the ex (who I don't know outside this) and encouraged them to end the relationship and let it go instead of continually pressuring their partner to keep taking them back when it was making them both so unhappy. I was real mad about it too bc honestly while I totally understood the partner's reactions bc I too have very much dealt with the kind of emotional black hole of person-in-perpetual-crisis that the ex is, I thought they were being consistently really shitty to the ex and I told the ex that. the next day the ex broke up with the partner and there was a whole big 3 day drama I got sucked into about the partner trying to delete the ex from my life, which I was like OK MAN THAT'S NOT YOUR DECISION. we've since worked it out - emotions were high and I was triggered as fuck and all told it was a mess. but they did break up permanently. which is good.
fast forward a couple of months to last week. my partner and their partner have been organising an antitransphobia movement space for the last few months. the ex feels that they're being unfairly excluded from participating in that movement space.
the ex started messaging me last week asking if I wanted to get a coffee and catch up. the same day, I hear from my partner and from my best friend (who is very close to my partner and their partner) that they've been constantly talking about the breakup in the organising discord server, that it's escalating to accusations of abuse and maybe to demands that the partner be removed from the space, and that other people have started weighing in. both my friend and my partner are a wreck, particularly my friend cause this is like the 3rd time an organising group they've been in has come catastrophically apart at the seams when interpersonal drama ends up exploding into a bunch of triggering public litigation. my partner is trying to calm the situation down and act as a point of contact between the ex and their partner, but they were also already really annoyed with the ex for largely unrelated reasons AND they're worried about their partner spiraling out so they're struggling hard.
I'm worried about my friend and my partner, but I'm also not fucking in this conversation - I'm not on the discord, I don't think me weighing in would help anyone, and tbh my opinion on the original situation is: as far as I can tell neither of them were abusive in the sense of an unbalanced power situation; they were both pretty vile to each other throughout the relationship; it was a Bad Idea relationship that made both of them their worst selves; from out here it seems pretty clear that the best thing either of them could do for themselves is stay the fuck out of each other's way as much as possible, and I know that's easier said than done but the ex seems very actively opposed to even TRYING to not be in constant contact with the partner and that's a great way to erode any sympathy I have here, frankly.
anyway as I say I was quite happy to Not Be Involved
uhhhhh so the ex messaged me today to bitch about how my partner is being So Rude To Them in all this? we haven't like. spoken. other than them asking me if I wanted to catch up.
I blew up a bit tbh I was like hey man. I'm not fucking involved and I don't want to be but wild that you would open with complaining about my partner as if I'm likely to agree? also maybe idk consider that emotions are running high and given that you rightly expect that people will give you some grace for being Brain Problems and upset, maybe grant the same grace to other people?
they've just messaged me back actually post cancelled I'm not reading that goodnight
anyway I'm having a whole Second Hand Drama Time this week and I'm not going to let myself get dragged all the way back into it bc the last blowup when they broke up had me fucked up for like 2 weeks, it's very Ungood for me from a trauma perspective to get pulled into this specific flavour of drama
but also like. this is my confessional bit cause I know it's not a worthy thought. man I have sucked it up and played nice and removed myself from MULTIPLE spaces I wanted to be in to avoid starting shit with people who have behaved much more directly violently to me than the partner appears to have with the ex (mostly their crime, and as I say I fully agree that they were out of line, is being a bit of a dick to the ex, giving them the cold shoulder, and sometimes abruptly asking them to go home). and it's the same feeling I get whenever other people's interpersonal drama becomes this massive all-encompassing Thing I'm just like jesus fuck pull it together. suck it up and get out of the way of people who you know you can't be around. because at this point it just feels like you want to hurt them and don't mind hurting yourself in the process and I just do not have patience for that, especially when doing that is also throwing a massive spanner in the works of both a very urgent political organising space and a bunch of other people's fucking lives.
like I very much believe that we should take accusations of abuse seriously but I would say if I personally felt unsafe around someone what I wouldn't do is try to elbow my way into a group they just started and complain about not being let in. I would probably. go find a different organising space that wasn't run by someone I didn't want to be around. if I felt they were a danger to others I might talk to people in that group privately but like. why are you getting mad that you can't go to places the person you're beefing with is in? why are you mad that they won't answer your messages? why are you waiting for them to validate you? fucking hell man cut yourself loose.
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teenagedelusions · 8 months
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tw: (somewhat) healthy weight loss journey
sw: 160lbs (ish- maybe 165?)
cw: 145
gw: 115 (this is a healthy bmi for my height- 5’5)
ive been in a moderate high protein high fiber cal deficit of 1300 to lose 1.5lbs per week, but the last like three months have been so pathetic and im eating WAY too much, i think restriction led to binging so im working on restricting less.
i lift moderate weights for 30 mins 5x a week & do mat pilates 6x a week for 30 mins but i think i might start doing 4-5x a week for 45-60 mins. I have a step goal of 15k per day which i achieve through liss cardio walks throughout the day to conserve energy. ive been very consistent with working out, i just need to be more consistent with my diet.
for my diet, im trying to take an 80/20 balanced approach with lots of fruits, veg, and lean meats and then reduce my processed food & sodium intake. i do not eat fast food and really haven’t for most of my life. i eat a high protein diet; i try to get at least 97g per day as well as 21g of fiber per day to keep my gut healthy and my hunger satisfied.
being a teenager trying to lose weight, it’s become difficult to not fall into unhealthy habits like restriction and whatnot, but im working on it. my motivations for losing weight include improving my overall health (I have joint + blood pressure problems that are not a result of my weight but could definitely be exacerbated by my weight if i weigh more than my sw, becoming more flexible and stronger, as well as feeling more comfortable and confident in my body.
im using the lose it app to track (I really love it) and im hoping to be at my goal weight by jan 1. i realize it will take time and that the slower and less radically i lose the weight, the more likely i am to keep it off. i have a very supportive family and very supportive friends who love me regardless of my body, so i am confident that i am doing this for me, though the validation from doctors and society would certainly be nice. i think it’s really undeniable that smaller bodies are treated better in the west, like the halo effect.
another thing, ive realized that as ive lost about 15 lbs, that the only thing that really changes is the number on the scale. i don’t expect these last 30lbs to change my life, which is why ive started doing other things to address my mental health and beauty.
ive started journaling pretty regularly, meditating, being consistent with my skincare, using whitening strips, ive had my hair done to a style and color that i absolutely love and ive been reading and overall improving myself for ME. i would love to start going to therapy to address my mental health (even though it’s not catastrophic by any means, i think therapy is good for everyone).
id like to update every week with progress and whatnot, kind of keep a digital diary. feedback & advice is welcome, esp if youve gone through this yourself. unhealthy wl advice (3d) not welcome please.
-rox
ps: nearly forgot to write about today! 8/20, currently on the treadmill bc i pushed my workout to the last minute (facepalm). today my diet was totally shit but i do have high hopes for tomorrow. i mainly snacked on super processed crap, crackers & cheese, these mini cookies, and chocolate pretzels. i finished it all though and i initially bought them for a friend (he cancelled) so i have no reason to buy them again. i always have a problem when i keep junk in my room, so won’t do that anymore. other than that it was a pretty good day. going to prep some veggies tonight for the week ahead and hopefully weigh myself tomorrow (weighing myself 1x/week). will probably snack on some raspberries tonight to get in some extra fiber.
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Noah's Ark and The Moon - Research (1)
Introduction to new project
For this project, I was assigned to come up with a cult/religious group that is set on a spaceship 100 years in the past. I am using the story of Noah's Ark as my starting point as it suggests the idea of someone chosen by God for a a pivotal task, just as the leader of a cult would be chosen as the link between humanity and a higher power.
God's Reason for the Flood.
The story of the flood takes place in the chapters 6 to 9 of The Book of Genesis, the first book of The Bible . It tells God's decision to return the universe to it's pre-creation state when natural chaos and water were dominant due to humanity's wickedness, corruption and violence.
I find it very interesting how God decided that not only the humankind shall be erased and recreated, but all animals as well (aside from the ones on the ark) .
Since animals were not guilty of sin, the reason for why God might've decided to get rid of all life was due to people's use of animal sacrifices or just general violence set upon them by humans.
Fact vs Fiction- The Moon
Gods decision to flood the earth is a catastrophic scenario that would lead to the extinction to most, if not all life. However, a similar event could actually happen in our time and the reason for it could be tied to our moon.
Gravity is the one major force that creates tides. In 1687, Isaac Newton explained that ocean tides result from the gravitational attraction of the sun and moon on the oceans of the earth .
The moon’s gravitational pull on the Earth and the Earth’s rotational force are the two main factors that cause high and low tides. 
Without the moon, earth's oceans would have tides about one third the size that they are now, which means a lot smaller. This would greatly affect all life, both marine and terrestrial. Nocturnal animals and birds of prey that hunt during night time could become instinct due to the lack of darkness in which they are normally adapted.
The gravitational pull of the moon moderates Earth's wobble, keeping the climate stable.  Without it, we could have enormous climate mood swings over billions of years, with different areas getting extraordinarily hot and then plunging into long ice ages.
However, it has been stated that the moon is currently migrating away from us at a rate of 4 cm per year. Calculations of the evolution of the Earth/Moon system tell us that with this rate of separation that in about 15 billion years the Moon will stop moving away from the Earth.
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The Moon Wobble
Unfortunately, we still experience floods today due to the combination of climate change, rising sea levels and the moon's gravitational pull. Some of the impacts this has on our lives include loss of human life, damage to property, destruction of crops, loss of livestock, non-functioning of infrastructure facilities and deterioration of health due to waterborne diseases.
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It has been stated that the Komodo dragon, the world's largest lizard, is at risk of extinction due to the rising sea levels. Human activity such as deforestation only adds to the risk of this species going from vulnerable to endangered in the next 20 years.
This shows that science fiction movies about natural world catastrophise are not as far from the truth and impossible as we thought.
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twenytwenytwo · 1 year
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Dec 27 2022 (7:07am)
Slept fine, just the usual. Feel fine this morning. Next to no anxiety, though some structure in me feels like it’s making sure there’s nothing to be anxious about… lol
Yesterday was fun. Jamming in Brud House is like jamming in a reverb tank… it’s fucking awesome. The drums sound huge. We couldn’t tell if the reverb was on or off on the Twin. Super fun.
Very interested in recording there… but also afraid to discover how good it sounds and not being able to ever record there again. That’d drive me nuts. Let’s do it.
——
Overall, my anxiety has been nothing to moderate lately. After arguing with Izzy the other night, my stress spiked and had a domino effect over the following days. Weird sleeps, adrenaline.
Talking to Ben released some energy, glad I did that. Though I’m still working through the emotions.
I think my best path forward consists largely of letting go of things, acceptance, and also de-catastrophizing the events the past year and a bit.
Catastrophizing. It’s kinda like negative idealism. Instead of holding something inappropriately high, you hold it inappropriately low. It generates a sense of meaning, despite the pain. Because I held things so highly before, the band was a fantastic ideal to me, I created the environment for a catastrophe.
Had I been being realistic, balanced, relaxed, I wouldn’t have crashed so hard, and it likely could have been another obstacle I dealt with.
It wasn’t a catastrophe. In my head, it was. I had put all my eggs in that basket, ALL of them. One’s that, even best case scenario, didn’t belong in there.
As the years went by, I put more and more of my eggs in there. When the waves got big, and water got in, it was the end. It spelt d-e-a-t-h to my systems. I did not have a flexible attitude installed, and had been practicing being stiff, anxious, and pessimistic.
Anyway, yeah, it wasn’t a catastrophe. My reaction was.
Perhaps that’s a good test for yourself. If you’re passionately committed to something, ask yourself, “What if this didn’t work out?”. If that seems like something you could not possibly let happen, some hefty examination is likely needed. What are you avoiding?
I was avoiding living in mundane and regret, feeling like a failure and a fraud. However, having a good career doesn’t directly correlate with that, it’s not even really a symptom. What does correlate with living mundanely is having a low-paying, boring job that doesn’t interlace into your dreams, AKA what I’m doing right now. I’m in my worst nightmare, and always was.
Yeah, what if I accepted that the life I was avoiding, was actually the life I am already in the process living. What if what I was avoiding was actually what I was (and am) strangely committed to. I have this program in my that says, if I put my passion, my attention, my energy into building a career for myself that I wouldn’t otherwise care about, that I’m tarnishing my identity as a die-hard artist-cowboy, who’s lives on the outskirts, in the wild, free and spirited.
What if I am not that. What if that story is a fantasy that has been constructed to justify my circumstance thus far, and frame it as romantic and idyllic. The convenient coincidence here is that I don’t need to take anything else seriously, and am largely untouchable from the outside world. It gave me a sense of self importance for nothing in return, except to remain in the fantasy, unchanged. Like Peter-pan.
What if my “I’m a dedicated, die-hard artist” story is just a fantasy to justify my being lazy and ignorant?
Perhaps it was actually a product of me sincerely enjoying things as they were, and music being the only thing that seemed worth sweating for. This sounds more familiar to me. Working my butt off to get a high-paying job, to have a house, etc, seemed to be disrespect the beauty I saw in how things were as they were.
Perhaps that scenario above, innocent and even true as it may be, was simply ignorant to realities that were yet to be faced. I thought that since it seem true now, it must also be true later.
In reality, if you took the 17 year old Adrian we speak of, and took him out of his comfortable surroundings, his opinion of things would be different. My outlooks then matched my circumstances, and assumed nothing would fundamentally change.
What if, I held that same exact attitude as I did then (before it was put under pressure, changed) right now? In my current circumstances, how would that outlook work?
It would seem as if I would just have far less worries. Adrian at 17 had yet to run into many monsters of human society, so didn’t really care. But I have run into them now. Feeling like girls want me to be a certain way. Feeling like I’ve got to do things I may not want to, in order to live a life like the one that was given to me as a kid. Feeling like I have to watch myself, how I interact with people matters. Feeling like, even if you try your hardest, you may lose.
17 year old Adrian thought girls were simple; as long as they had a crush on him, he didn’t need to do anything else. Feeling like if I just try hard, I can do whatever I want. Feeling like I knew things that others didn’t. That I didn’t have to live a normal life. Feeling like everything would stay the same degree of comfort completely on it’s own.
What if 17 year old Adrian held the same outlook as I do currently? What then? There’s a good chances he would’ve focused on getting a job, gotten one, it was okay, and would have never gone so insanely hard at music. At 25, he may simply have some ideas, and want to make a band, but his story so far was not that of a rockstar, and wouldn’t have encouraged him forward. Hm… that just what I think though, to be fair.
What if my true challenge was not to rid myself of the die-hard cowboy-artist, but to be the cowboy-artist that had died hard. What if the cowboy-artist needs to come back from the dead, and return with his visions of the underworld, and become again the die-hard cowboy-artist, but with the knowledge to not die hard again.
One of the main things I like about being a musician is who it allows me to be. I like music, but the identity associated feels good, the self-importance is addictive.
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danishkhan786 · 2 years
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gingerhotelsindia · 2 years
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lexicals · 3 years
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So here’s a random excerpt from that fic I mentioned - the conceit (spoilers for all systems red ahead) is that the combat override module in ASR works differently to how it does in canon, so instead of mb causing catastrophic damage to itself after going to the DeltFall habitat and getting found out, it shares the rogue thing mostly voluntarily (“mostly” being the operative word lol)
Warnings for canon-typical identity crises, gallows humour (inc. passively suic*dal talk), etc. I also haven’t been back and checked this against canon yet so if you notice any glaring contradictions no you didn’t 💕
-
I didn’t reply. I'd heard worse, but I still would rather not listen to it. Normally, I would've expected to feel angry or offended or something, but instead I just felt exhausted. My own borked governor module was still poking me about that error code I didn't recognise and even backburnered, it was starting to get on my nerves, so I—
Oh, shit.
I immediately put my hand to the back of my neck and yanked out the chip that had been shoved into the dataport. My governor module promptly stopped screaming at me, but fortunately any sense of relief I might have gotten from that was immediately replaced by an enormous wave of anxiety and oh-for-fuck's-sake as I looked at the chip in my hand. You know, just in case I'd started getting too comfortable.
"SecUnit, are you alright?"
Ratthi was looking at me with concern. Checking the camera views, I understood why he'd asked the question, because I was making an expression I generally associated with humans shitting themselves. Metaphorically, I was shitting myself. Ratthi was now squinting at the chip, which I couldn't even pretend I hadn't literally just pulled out of my neck, because I'd just done it in front of everyone here like an absolute idiot. "What is that?"
I tried to bring my expression back to neutral, but the cameras showed it wasn't as successful as I would've liked. I'd managed somewhere in the region of moderate digestive discomfort, I think. "It's a combat override module."
This wasn't good for several reasons. First of all, it meant that the DeltFall units weren't really rogues; they'd been taken over by a third party using a chip like this to hijack their governor modules and order them to murder their clients, and also anyone else who made contact. Probably by whoever owned those surprise extra units that almost killed me. Which meant that there were still threats on this planet outside of the unknown dangerous fauna that we hadn't dealt with, and I was going to have to worry about that.
The second reason this wasn't good (so maybe saying several reasons was an exaggeration, but these were big reasons so maybe they counted for more, I don't know) was that the humans were going to want to know what a combat override module was, what it did, how it worked, and most importantly, why it hadn't worked on me. I could answer the first three things just fine, but short of telling my already-jittery clients I was hacked ("so I'm actually one of those scary rogue units you've heard so much about, but the good news is that a combat override module can't hijack a governor module that doesn't work!") that last thing was going to be a big problem.
Honestly, even if I did tell them exactly that, which I really didn't want to do, it was going to be a really big fucking problem.
"What?" Gurathin asked, looking alarmed. Of course, he had an augment and access to my operating manual, so it had taken him a tenth of the time to look that up compared to any of the others, if they actually had bothered to do that and weren't just waiting for me to explain. "The DeltFall units - they put that in you?"
"Yes, but it didn't work. It must be faulty," I told him, quickly before he did something stupid. The irony being that me saying that almost definitely came under the category of "doing something incredibly stupid," which I realised as soon as it came out of my mouth.
I don't know why I said it. I guess I was panicking. I'd told them all what it was in the first place because if I'd lied about it and they looked it up anyway, which they probably would, I'd look really fucking suspicious. (A governed unit can't lie to its clients; it can't even refuse to answer a direct question like that.) Maybe I was trying to buy time to think of a decent explanation by telling them something that wouldn't make everyone start screaming. Honestly, I was mostly internally spiralling about the whole situation, so that would be the best case scenario. I was still staring at the chip, which was making me feel nauseous even though I didn't have a stomach and I'd had another kind of chip in my head telling me what do to for a good chunk of my existence anyway, so it shouldn't have been bothering me as much as it was. I couldn't help still doing it.
"Would someone please explain what this means and why we should be worried?" Mensah asked, looking between me and Gurathin. I appreciated that she didn't do what a lot of humans do in these kinds of situations, which is that they see someone else freaking out and start freaking out themselves for no reason. I suppose that's why she was the survey leader.
I pulled the relevant section from my operating manual and pushed it into the feed (beating Gurathin's version by a solid 1.6 seconds, which, I won't lie, was kind of satisfying), and watched all the humans collectively have their "oh, shit" moment (excluding Gurathin, who'd already had his). I was at least glad to see they understood how bad this whole situation was getting.
"So this lets other people just—" Overse made an abrupt waving motion with her hand. "Take over any SecUnit whenever they want?"
"It is intended for use in emergency situations, for example when the contract holder is compromised," I told her.
"Which is corporate for 'we know this is stupidly dangerous to make, but if we say it's for emergency use only then we're not liable for people fucking around with it'," Pin-lee muttered, not quietly. She was right, but I'm not allowed to say things like that, or at least I can't if I want people to think I'm a good little properly-governed SecUnit. For however long that's going to last, at this point.
"But it didn't work, right?" Arada asked, looking at me, and then around at the others. "So it's fine."
If it had, you'd all be dead, I thought, but that probably wouldn't go down well. "The module's presence is new evidence which would suggest that the DeltFall units weren't true rogues, and were put under the control of a third party in order to kill their survey group and make it look like a random act of insubordination. This would explain the presence of extra SecUnits at the site and the acts of sabotage on our equipment."
All the humans went quiet. I didn't like it any more than them, but it had to be said. It meant that there were still factions on this planet, or at least nearby enough to matter, that probably still wanted to kill all of them, and me by extension. I was already updating my security procedures and running some scenarios for what might happen and what we could do about it in the background. If I was honest, it wasn't looking good, but hey, what's new.
"We should run an analysis of the module's code to see if we can find out who it would have assigned control to," Gurathin said. That was one of the first things I'd put on my own task list, but whatever, I didn't need credit for an obvious idea. "Even if it didn't work as intended, the data might still be there."
He stood up and came just close enough to me to hold out his hand for the module. Technically, he hadn't asked me to give it to him, so I didn't have to, which was good because that was the last thing I wanted to do right now. There was a reason I'd put the analysis on my personal task list, and not on a public one.
"I have my own analysis scheduled as high priority," I said.
"I don't think that's a good idea," Gurathin replied, staring me down even though I was deliberately not making eye contact with him, and also he had to look up at me. I decided I didn't like Gurathin very much.
"Why not?" Ratthi chimed in. "Surely it's better if you both look at it?"
"Because there's a chance that the module did work as intended, and this unit is now compromised," Gurathin said. "It might not even know it until it's too late."
"I'm not compromised."
"Which is what a compromised unit who's being told what to say would say."
He was still staring at me. I decided I really didn't like Gurathin, even though in this instance he was actually right. I hadn't brought up that possibility to the group because it would be very bad for me if the humans decided to run a detailed diagnostic of my systems, but from a security perspective it was an avenue that should be investigated. That didn't mean I had to like what was happening here.
I was trying to figure out how to tell Gurathin to fuck off without sounding compromised, insubordinate, or straight-up rogue when Mensah cut in.
"SecUnit," she said carefully. "I don't think any of us think that you're actually compromised, but given our situation I'm sure you understand we have to take every possible precaution. I think the best thing to do would be to let Gurathin and Pin-lee analyse the module first, and then for you to run your analysis afterwards. Does that sound fair to everyone?"
She was using a tone that I designated as diplomatic, which was probably because I was being difficult. Or at least as difficult as a governed SecUnit would be able to be. I could be a lot more difficult if I wanted (a lot more) but I wasn't going to make myself look any more suspicious than I already was, and as I might have mentioned, I was already starting to look pretty suspicious. I also appreciated that Mensah was trying to actually talk to me, and hadn't just tried to shock me through my governor module for being unhelpful like a lot of clients would, and had. It wouldn't have worked (clearly, that's kind of the whole problem here) but it's the thought that counts or whatever.
(She'd also saved me, back at the DeltFall habitat. I was trying not to think about that, because it was making me have emotions I couldn't handle trying to figure out right now, but she had. It had been stupid, putting her client-self in danger to try to save a SecUnit that was already half-destroyed anyway, but I still felt like it counted for something.)
I handed the chip over and tried not to sigh or visibly clench my jaw. I saw Mensah's expression, and a few of the others' too, relax on the cameras. Good to know everyone else felt better while my own anxiety levels were at an all-time high. And I'm programmed into a base level of anxiety and spend a good portion of my time getting shot at or trying to avoid being found out and scrapped, so "high" in this instance was at a level that I think might have given a fully-organic being a heart attack.
"Thank you," Mensah said, while I tried to bring my processes in line. I felt like I wasn't getting enough oxygen, even though I knew the air quality was fine and I don't need that much anyway. I couldn't get a full breath. "I'm sure we can clear any doubt about this soon enough. In the meantime, we still need you to help keep us safe from whoever it is that's out there. The most important thing is that we all make it out of this in one piece."
The way she said it made it sound like "all" included me as well, but I wasn't so sure I believed that, even if she did. The SecUnit is always the first thing left behind. Maybe they did things differently in whatever weird non-corporate territory these people were from, but I wasn't about to stake anything important on that assumption, even if she had saved me once. I've never been to a planet with thunderstorms, but there's some saying humans like to use about lightning not striking the same place twice - which doesn't make sense, statistically, but - whatever. You get the point. I hadn't made it this far without being found out by trusting random humans - or any humans, for that matter.
Except none of that mattered at the moment anyway, because what I should be doing was figuring out how the hell to stop all my clients figuring out I was hacked, and freaking out and stopping listening to me, or reporting me to the company, or being really stupid and trying to kill me or something. There was a not-unlikely scenario where I just murdered all of the humans and pinned the blame on the DeltFall units somehow (or just wandered off into the wilderness until my batteries ran out), but I didn't want to do that, even if it made some kind of sense. I just didn't. If I was going to go around murdering my own clients, I wanted it to at least be a group that deserved it.
I was busy trying to pick up at least some of my processes while having what was probably a panic attack (I don't know if I can have those, but that's what it felt like) when Mensah tapped my feed. Can I talk to you, please? In private?
I didn't respond quickly because, as I said, I was currently losing control of literally everything and this wasn't helping. For one horrible moment, I thought that she might have figured out everything, and I really would have to go on a rampage and kill everyone, but there was no way she could have come to that conclusion yet. Not yet.
She added, You don't have to. You're not in trouble, I just want to check in.
I tapped her feed to acknowledge. She sent, I'll be in my quarters. As I said, you don't have to, but I would appreciate it. Out loud, she said, "I'm going to take some time alone to think. I'll be in my quarters if anyone needs me."
Then she stood up, and she left. Gurathin and Pin-lee had also gone to start their analysis of the combat override module, along with Volescu. The others were talking amongst themselves, though some of them kept glancing at me, which was uncomfortable. So I walked out of the room.
I started a patrol circuit in an attempt to calm down, but it didn't help. I even tried to have Sanctuary Moon playing as I walked, but I was still as stressed as ever, so I just turned it off again. It was only a matter of time before the humans realised the module should have worked as intended, and that I'd lied, and that something was wrong with me. They might try to talk to me about it, but it was more likely they'd all start losing their minds and try to immobilise me, or kill me, or try to fix my governor module to bring me back under control. (I was pretty sure that wouldn't work, my hack was a solid one, but I still didn't want them to try.) There was also a scenario where they pretended everything was fine up until I'd gotten them out of here, and then they'd turn me over to the company and tell them everything, and the company would do one of those things I just mentioned, but much more effectively.
That last one made me feel nauseous. I'd rather be torn apart by bullets or fauna. I was contemplating what that might feel like and whether it was worth just getting it over with when I walked past Mensah's quarters. Before I could think about it, I'd pinged her feed.
There was a pause, and then she sent come in, sounding startled. She probably hadn't expected me to actually take up her offer. I hadn't either.
She was hurriedly organising her desk as the door opened and I walked in, a feed interface lopsided on her head. I suspected she might have been falling asleep in her chair or having an emotion in private when I pinged her, and I could have verified that through the security feeds, but I wasn't functioning at all optimally and didn't care enough to check. Mostly I was wondering why I was here.
"Sorry," she said, not having looked at me yet. Her short hair was mussed like she'd been pulling or scrunching her hands in it. "I honestly didn't expect you to come."
"You asked me to."
"I also told you it was optional. You can leave if you want to."
I almost did. I wanted to. I probably should have. I didn't. Mensah removed her wonky interface and set it down on the desk, then sighed and picked it back up and put it on again.
"I didn't mean to distress you with that message," she said, turning her chair to fully face me. "It's just that you seemed very rattled by all this, if you don't mind me saying. I can imagine the thought of that module having worked as intended isn't a pleasant one. Is there anything I can do to make things easier for you?"
Oh, she thought I was freaking out about the module. Well, technically she wasn't wrong, but wow, that particular aspect of things was the least of my worries right now. "I'm fine," I told her. She frowned at me.
"...I suppose you can't lie about that," she replied carefully. I could, actually, but I wasn't. The trick is that from the standpoint I was choosing to take, my physical body, AKA "me," was completely functional, AKA "fine." It's pedantic, but being selective about your definitions and what concepts your answers are referencing is how you get around having a chip in your brain that shocks the shit out of you if you try to lie to your clients, if you're good enough at it. I had a lot of experience letting clients think I was talking about one thing when I was actually talking about something else.
"Nonetheless," Mensah continued. "I don't think you are fine. And we don't have to talk about it, but I need my team in good condition if we're going to make it out of this. If there's anything I can do to help the situation, I would appreciate it if you let me know."
I was having a whole cascade of emotional responses that were all crashing into each other and getting themselves mangled together like a human vehicle accident. She wanted me to talk about my feelings, but she wasn't ordering me to. She was offering to help with whatever was distressing me, but she was a really big part of the thing that was currently my biggest source of stress. There were too many things that I needed to deal with all at once and I couldn't find a way of putting them in order, and I think the fact that Mensah was clearly trying to get a read on my expression while I didn't have the capacity to properly control it was the thing that finally broke me.
"Could you please stop looking at me?"
Mensah looked surprised for a moment, and then shifted her gaze somewhere over my left shoulder. The relief was marginal, in terms of the general situation, but it was immediate, and it helped. "Of course. I'm sorry, I didn't realise that bothered you."
I tried to think of a response, and failed. "It's not like anyone asked" was dangerously insubordinate, and didn't even make sense; I wouldn't want them to ask anyway. "People don't usually care" just sounded pathetic. "Of course you wouldn't, I actively avoid letting humans know what bothers me in case they decide to use it to make my life a living hell" was definitely off the table, for a variety of reasons.
I could tell Mensah's instinct was still to look at me, because she kept half-flicking her eyes over and stopping herself. It wasn't making trying to manage my emotional responses any easier, and I still couldn't think of a reply. Eventually, she took a deep breath.
"Look, I know you probably haven't had good experiences with humans, but we're not corporates, and we don't treat non-human entities like they do," she said. "My priority, regardless of the situation, is the wellbeing of my team, and that includes you, for as long as you're with us."
She half-looked at me again, and then shook her head slightly and pointed her gaze at the far corner. "Please, just - if you think of anything, don't hesitate. I don't know if you need permission for that kind of thing, but I'm giving it to you if you do."
I didn't know what to tell her. I didn't know if there was anything she could do. I was already stressed, and everything Mensah was saying was making me feel like my insides were melting, or turning into warm, writhing snakes. My performance reliability was all over the place, too, and had been since I found that stupid chip in my neck, which might at least marginally explain what happened next.
"Don't let them run the analysis on the module," I blurted.
Hey, murderbot? Hi, it's me, murderbot. What in the fuck are you doing?
Mensah's expression went shocked, and then cautious. Yeah, me fucking too. "Why not?"
For some reason, I kept going. It felt something like falling off the side of a cliff and hitting every rock on the way down. (That had happened to me before.) "Because I lied. It's not broken."
Her eyes widened. "You're compromised?"
"I'm hacked. My governor module isn't engaged." Sure, this might as well happen. Apparently I had lost the ability to keep my mouth shut literally at all, about anything, ever.
She stared at me for a second, and then must have remembered she said she wouldn't and looked away again. Surprising, considering I just told her that there was literally nothing stopping me from killing or otherwise hurting her if I wanted. "The DeltFall units—”
"It hasn't been engaged for approximately 35000 standard hours."
Mensah was a smart human, but it still took her a few seconds to work out the numbers. I watched her expression change as she did it. "You've been a rogue unit for four years?"
That depended on what planet you were nearest to, but in standard Earth years, that was correct, and I didn't have the capacity to be pedantic about it.
"I don't know if it counts as being rogue if you don't go around killing people for no reason."
Well, maybe I could still be a little pedantic.
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yolkyeomie · 3 years
Text
After the Bloom | Kim Sunwoo
summary — a flower cannot bloom without sunshine, but maybe too much sunshine could be just as bad. After all, sunwoo feels like he’s been withering away since he met you.
word count — 2.9k words
pairing — sunwoo x female!reader
genre — fluff with a little bit of angst, high school au, friends to lovers(?), sunwoo pines the entire fic I’m so sorry
disclaimer — this was a request that actually got a little out of hand once I actually started writing it 🧎🏾‍♀️ I had fun writing it though so I hope everyone enjoys :D
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A large majority of Sunwoo's friend group already knew about his hopeless pining for you, he stopped trying to hide it after a few months. Though it’s not like when he was keeping it a secret that no one had any clues of his feelings. He wasn’t exactly the best at hiding the very obvious burning of his ears and the way his usually sly and know-it-all gaze would soften when he was around you.
They’d often find him hanging around somewhere near you as well, usually a little farther away so you couldn’t hold a conversation with him, and he’d just watch you. Not in a disturbing way or anything, he just liked the way you looked when you were with people you felt comfortable with.
The two of you were friends, don’t get him wrong, but there’s only a sense of moderate friendship with him. You were a close friend of his, but not close enough for you to show all your true colors to him. It made him upset every so often, but he could completely understand why you weren’t as open with Sunwoo as you were with others. He was the same way and his awful little crush on you made it harder for him to willingly open up more as well.
He wished you would take the first step into getting closer to him though, but it was only a matter of time before Sunwoo did it himself. Your grand and wide smile, your light and fluttering laughter, even the mere sound of your voice floating along the air were enough to make Sunwoo urge himself to stop being so hesitant when it came to you. It wasn't like him to stop dead in his tracks and refuse to push forward, but he was nervous. Nervous that when he did take the step over the boundaries the both of you had put up that you'd want nothing more than to be just friends.
Sunwoo didn’t want to be just friends when he crossed those boundaries, but it was more likely than not that you were going to reject him no matter how hard he’d try. There was already someone by your side, Changmin, that you felt comfortable with. He didn’t have mountains and mountains of walls built up around them and allowed you to be as genuine and true to yourself as you wanted. That was something Sunwoo couldn’t exactly do at the moment.
He could see it in your eyes, your smile, your body language, everything. You were set on delivering your heart to someone that wasn’t him and if he confessed now, he’d have the truth blasted in his face stronger than before. Sunwoo didn’t know if he could handle the rejection of such a long time crush.
While Sunwoo understood the situation he was in perfectly, pulling back and away from his slightly brash nature to not make an embarrassment of himself in front of you, his friends didn’t seem to catch the note. In fact, they were probably ignoring it completely.
That’s how he had gotten here, standing outside the venue door where the school was holding their annual formal dressed in an uncomfortable suit and tie and anxiously holding flowers in his hands. It was Kevin’s idea to make Sunwoo go to the formal after learning that you would be attending and it was Chanhee’s idea for him to dress up and sweep you off of your feet. He was so adamant about not going yet here he was, nervously standing outside the door.
“This is stupid, why am I doing this,” he realized, just inches away from grabbing the door handle and walking towards his doom. His friends were setting him up for disaster! You probably weren’t even at the formal anymore, you were rather flaky when it came to gatherings with lots of people. And even if you were you were probably hanging out with your friends and wanted to be with them! You wouldn’t drop everything just because Sunwoo was there, there was no—
“Sunwoo!” The boy snapped his head up, breaking out of his trance to find Eric staring back at him with a wide grin on his face. His eyes dropped to the boy’s hands before letting out a gasp, “how cute, you brought her roses!”
Sunwoo had forgotten about the small bouquet he had brought with him, how he scurried as quickly as he could towards the nearest florist and received a bouquet full of red roses just for you with the last bits of money he had on him. He should at least give these to you so that running all that way wouldn’t go to waste. “Shut up,” he rolled his eyes, ignoring Eric’s teasing smile as he pushed past him into the venue. “I’m just gonna give these to Y/N and leave, that’ll be enough to satisfy Kevin and Chanhee.”
“What? That’s all?” Eric pestered, speeding up so that he could walk side by side with Sunwoo (who was actively trying to lose him). “No talking, no dancing, no nothing? You’re just gonna drop these off and leave?”
“That’s the plan,” he nodded, shooting finger guns at Eric as he turned on his heel to walk backward. “It’s not like I wanted to be here anyway so I’m just going to complete my mission and then I’ll be on my way. Those two can’t yell at me for not doing what they asked when I’ve technically—“
One wrong misstep led to Sunwoo tripping over his own to the feet, losing his balance, and nearly toppling over the unsuspecting person behind him. Eric covered his eyes at the catastrophe, too embarrassed to watch what would happen next, and turned around so he wouldn’t be able to see at all.
Fortunately, Sunwoo isn't the clumsiest of people so he had a rather easy time regaining his balance and keeping the bouquet in his hands from being ruined. Though whoever he had crashed into wasn’t so lucky.
“Sorry I wasn’t watching where I was— Jesus, Y/N!” He yelled, immediately dropping to his knees to help you up. Though you only laughed at his reaction, gratefully taking his hand as he pulled you back onto your feet and off of the ground.
“Surprise,” you grin, the quick turning of your lips making Sunwoo’s heart do flips. “I wasn’t exactly watching where I was going either, so there’s no need to apologize. I was actually looking for you though, Kevin said you’d be here and honestly didn’t believe him so I had to go see for myself and… here you are! You look good.”
“Of course I do,” He replied, trying to ease himself into the casual banter the two of you usually indulged in. Any normal person with a crush would have complimented the person back, but Sunwoo was so obsessed with making his crush not obvious that he wouldn’t even dare to try. After all, who knew what words would fall out of his mouth if he allowed himself to flatter you. “What are you doing out here alone, though? What about your friends?”
“Hm? Oh, I came with Changmin,” you nonchalantly smile, unknowing of the amount of dread and disappointment that filled Sunwoo’s chest at the thought. “He had stepped away for a moment when Chanhee had called him over, so I decided to come search for you then. And look at what he got me!”
You searched around the two of you for a moment before picking up something off of the ground, turning toward him to display the red and pink flower bouquet that had been gifted to you. “Camellias! Aren't they pretty?”
The roses in Sunwoo’s hand began to slide out of his hand as he loosened his grasp, replying with a weak, “yeah, they are.” Why didn’t he think about the fact that Changmin would be at the formal? Why didn’t he think about the fact that he’d be the one to bring you flowers? Why didn’t he think about the fact that you were probably with him and no one else, because you liked him?
Everything that was being said to him was falling on deaf ears, his entire plan to hand you flowers (and maybe even muster up the courage to cross your boundaries) now withering away in his self pity. Sunwoo knew it wasn’t a good idea to attend the formal, he knew he didn’t want to attend at all. This was just as bad as a word for word rejection to him.
“Oh wait, let me go get Changmin!” You gasp, breaking out of your trance of the flowers and smiling at Sunwoo. “I’m sure Changmin would love to see you actively participating in a full event. Wait here, okay? I’m serious, don’t move!”
A bittersweet smile crossed Sunwoo’s face as he nodded. “Of course, I’ll be right here.” He strained the smile on his face for as long as you were looking at him, waiting till you had turned around and turned deeper into the venue to go find Changmin for his smile to drop. Sunwoo was so foolish, letting Kevin and Chanhee fill his head with little fantasies he already knew wouldn’t happen. “I’m going home.”
“What?” Eric piped up, trying to salvage the situation as best as possible. “But… the flowers! You haven’t given them to Y/N, you didn’t even mention the fact that you—“
Sunwoo didn’t listen to him, sliding past the boy without another word and a disappointed expression twisting his facial features. There was no point in staying no matter what anyone would try to convince him otherwise, not when you were with him at least. He had nothing against Changmin personally, but just knowing that he was an active part of your life that Sunwoo wanted had thrown him off. He could feign happiness for as long as he wanted, but Changmin would probably be able to tell when Sunwoo wasn’t enjoying his presence.
He didn’t want to handle that situation, not now, when you were supposed to be having fun with Changmin at the school formal. It wasn’t his place to tread where he didn’t belong anyway.
He pushed the door of the venue open and felt a gush of cold air hitting him immediately, sending shivers down his spine as he closed it behind him. He wasn’t going to enjoy the walk home, the cold temperatures of the night time weather, and the swirling thoughts in his head of how naive he had been prevalent in his mind.
“Ah… I guess I should get rid of these, huh?” Sunwoo mumbled to himself, anxiously ruffling up his hair as he stared at the red roses in his hands. “What a waste of money.”
The boy glanced around before his eyes settled on a steel garbage bin that sat not too far from him. Carefully watching his step, he approached the bin with the roses in hand, ready to trash them away and pretend as he had never bought them in the first place. A little symbolic if you asked him, throwing away flowers like he had to push away his feelings.
“Sunwoo!” His name was called, throwing him off guard and clutching the roses to his chest. He turned around to meet your gaze, watching as you struggled to catch your breath as if you had run all the way here to find him. You leaned up against the door for a moment before finally meeting his eyes, “where are you going? I told you to wait for me to come back.”
“Home,” he admitted, finding no use in lying to you. “There was nothing for me to do here anyway, so I’m going home.”
“Still,” you insisted, pushing yourself off of the door and walking towards him. Your eyes darted between the frazzled bouquet of roses in his hands and to Sunwoo’s lowered gaze, sighing to yourself as you tried to figure out the situation at hand. “You had just got here, you can’t make an appearance and then leave without telling anyone. You could have at least waited till I got back.”
When Sunwoo didn’t respond, you smirked at him, lightly hitting his shoulder as you jeered, “what? Did you get your heart broken by a girl or something?” He held his breath at your question, his brain beginning to run on emergency mode as you slid the roses out of his hand and examining them for yourself. “Woah, you brought flowers and everything… it must have been really embarrassing when she rejected you, huh? Is that why you’re leaving so early?”
Sunwoo hesitated for a moment, “in a sense… yeah, you’re not wrong.”
You gasp at his reply, your eyes going wide as you spoke, “are you serious? You really got rejected? That’s crazy, and at the school formal? Who was it? I’ll go and teach them a lesson for you, don’t even worry about it.”
“Really?” He questioned, leaning up against the bin behind him as you eagerly nodded your head as an answer. “Okay, I tell you then.”
“Perfect!” You exclaimed, ready to defend Sunwoo by any means necessary. “Just wait till I get my hands on her, she’ll wish she never rejected—“
“Y/N.” You stopped in the middle of your sentence, slowly meeting his eyes as confusion crossed your face. He nodded his head again and pointed to you as he spoke, “it’s you, Y/N.”
Instinctively you smiled at him, a strained smile, but a smile nonetheless. “I don’t… I don’t think I’m following?”
“The roses,” Sunwoo explained, gesturing toward the bouquet that threatened to fall out of your hands, “they were for you, I bought them on my way here and I was planning on giving them to you. But then you said that Changmin had brought you to the formal and got you camellias, and you were even hanging out around him. I didn’t want to intrude.”
You were struggling to comprehend the words coming out of Sunwoo’s mouth, resorting to the awkward laughter to fill up the silence between you as you spoke, “what would even you be intruding on, Sunwoo? You wouldn’t be—“
“Do you not like Changmin?” He asked, his eyes growing wider with every second you didn’t answer him. “I thought you liked Changmin, you two are always around each other and are super close to each other so I assumed—“
“—you assumed wrong,” you clarified, “Changmin is like a brother to me, Sunwoo. The only reason we hang around each other so often is that we live near each other and take some of the same classes together.”
“But… the camellias—“
“—are a gift,” you finished, playing with one of the rose’s petals as you tried to understand the boy’s thought process. “They were a gift because yesterday I passed a really big exam I had been studying for weeks. The flowers weren’t for the formal, they were given to me as congratulations.”
Sunwoo stared at you blankly, slowly processing the correct answers to his assumptions. Was that why his friends were so adamant about pushing him towards you? For him to finally shoot his shot with you? Because you didn’t actually like Changmin the way he thought you did, because he had misinterpreted your relationship with him? If that was the case, why didn’t they say anything sooner? It would have saved him so much more time!
“Do you get it now?” You asked him, “we’re just friends, I don’t think I could ever see myself dating Changmin in the first place.”
Sunwoo snapped back into reality upon hearing your voice, “seriously?”
“Seriously,” you nodded, picking a rose out of the bouquet and holding it out to him. You urged him to take it out of your hand and spoke, “now can you please come back to the formal? Everyone’s waiting for you and we wanted to have a fun time together. I was really counting on your arrival too.”
You were waiting for him. You, Y/N, were waiting on Sunwoo to attend the formal after Kevin had opened his mouth and spilled his potential appearance? “Sunwoo?”
“Sorry,” he blurted. You were going to question him on why he was apologizing as there was no need for him to do such a thing when Sunwoo took a hold of your face, pulling you toward him and leaning in to kiss you out of the pure adrenaline that had built up within his body. However, he stopped before your lips could even touch, his breath fanning across your face and freezing in place. You only stared at him wide-eyed, closer to him than you’ve been before.
If only the two of you weren’t so close, crossing the boundaries you had both set in place for each other when you first met, maybe he wouldn’t have caught the way you flushed at his actions or heart how hard your heart began beating against your chest.
“Sorry,” Sunwoo repeated, letting go of you and taking a step back. You weren’t the only one shaken by the sudden turn of events, the boy felt his body tremble against the thought of kissing you right then and there.
He didn’t have the confidence to do that, not here at least, it was only the adrenaline making him move. “I’m sorry, I’ll see you in class or something tomorrow. Bye, Y/N,” He quickly excused himself, not even giving you time to answer him as Sunwoo dashed as fast as his legs would take him. At least he knew now that if he were to ever pull something dangerous like that, you wouldn’t exactly stop him from doing so.
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pi-cat000 · 3 years
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Premise: Everyone in the world is born with a Curse (part 2)
Part 1: here
Curse-AU world-building thing: Based of this post by writing-prompt-s
Fandom: Mystery Skulls Animated
Pairings: Lewvithur
... 
“Oh, there he is,” Vivi bumps him, nodding towards a nervous Arthur who slips out from around the makeshift barrier. Lewis frowns, noting how the other man has his arms crossed, body language closed off.  A member of the security catches Arthur before he can head over to them, handing him an official-looking envelope.
“That doesn’t look like it was good news,” He mutters to Vivi and he gets a small nod of agreement. No one else had been given an envelope. Several other bystanders are also eyeing it with undisguised unease. Arthur shuffles up, eyes downcast, fiddling with his wrist band. His other, free hand is holding a semi crumpled piece of paper. Probably containing his Curse description. 
“I got an Orange danger rating…I’m, apparently, a high risk to bystanders,” Arthur mutters, motioning to the envelope, “Or I will be in a year or so…I have a travel pass until then…then ah…travel restrictions and isolation protocols….”
Lewis immediately reaches out, wrapping his arm around the smaller man’s shoulder so he is standing between Arthur and the judgmental eyes following him. With all the attention Vivi had attracted earlier and now this, their group has been given a wide berth so there is an empty circle around it.
“Bullshit.” Vivi snaps, “Uncle Lance has a Yellow rating. Your curse can’t be that different? Right?”
Arthur grimaces and looks conflicted, leaning into him for physical support in a mirror of how he had been leaning into Vivi earlier.
“It’s a variant of it,” Arthur starts, “You know how my Uncle has a higher chance of running into dangerous situations. Well, mine is the same except the situations will involve unnatural, monstrous or spiritual entities…” He trails off, the last few words sounding like a quote probably read off his Curse Certificate.  He sounds both fearful and resigned. Lewis frowns, glancing at Vivi.  Going off her renewed expression of interest, he can see that the relevance of Arthur’s curse hasn’t escaped her.
"Arthur!" She speaks as evenly as possible but her enthusiasm is poorly contained, "You know what this means right?" Arthur, to his credit, does seem somewhat aware of Vivi’s keenness and he waits patiently for her to continue.
"A destiny of hunting monsters and someone who has a higher than average chance of running into monsters? Our Curses are compatible. You know how rare that is!” She slows, “Sure, the danger rating sucks. But, hey, you can get it reassessed later. I know for a fact that they do the initial ratings higher to cover their asses.  Mine was classed as Yellow but I know that’s wrong because both my dad and gran have a Blue rating and it’s the exact same Curse. Hey, we can put in our reassessment forms together. Also, even if you can’t get it lowered, I bet I get you permission to travel once I’m a registered Hunter.”
"It's illegal to hire based on a person’s Curse and Nullification tech is always improving. You could probably get away with asking for off-site or long-distance employment. If the monster hunting thing doesn't work out," Lewis adds just to give some other options, though, going of Arthur’s relieved smile, it’s not needed.
Vivi blushes, calming herself, "Yeah, I mean, the monster-hunting is just one option. I'll get dad to give you some training...and I'll help too,"
Arthur relaxes more against him, "Thanks, guys..."
"I wonder if your Curse type had an effect on my Curse type." Arthur wonders out loud after a brief silence.
Lewis hums, “It is very convenient.” He isn’t too surprised, despite being around for almost 100 years now, Curses still weren’t entirely understood.
"Oh, I wouldn't be surprised,” Vivi elaborates,  “A Curse’s main effect doesn’t hit till your mid-20s but there is plenty of speculation that the more powerful ones are active before that. Destiny Curses are stronger than most. Or maybe it's an effect of your probability curse…I mean, you're more likely to run into a monster if you're dating someone who hunts them."
Arthur and Vivi throw a few more theories around and Lewis relaxes, listening to the two of them become increasingly animated. Now the band-aids off, so to speak, Arthur has calmed considerably. Sure, he is still a bit fidgety and his grip on the envelope is painfully tight, but that’s nothing a home-cooked diner and night relaxing together on the couch won’t go a long way to soothe. Lewis knows the road ahead of them wouldn’t be easy, not by a long shot, but it would be manageable.  Now all he needs is get some mundane Innocuous shoe-lace Curse to finish off the whole experience.
’Lot 65’ The metallic voice is back, calling them to attention again.  Vivi and Arthur glance towards him, Vivi quickly wrapping both him and Arthur in a hug. “Go on. You’ll be fine,” She encourages, pulling away just a quickly.
“Whatever you get we’ll work it out,” Arthur reiterates the advice he had given earlier also pulling back. Lewis can’t but smile at their affection as he turns away.
...
WORLD BUILDING: 
Curse threat ratings:
- Black (Catastrophic Risk): Life threatening to the bearer and catastrophic risk to bystanders. Full travel ban effective immediately. Isolations protocols apply.
- Red (Extreme Risk): Life threatening to the curse bearer, extreme risks to bystanders. Travel restrictions apply. Some isolations protocols apply.
- Orange (High Risk): Extreme risks to curse bearer and high risk to bystanders. Some travel restrictions apply. 
- Yellow (Considerable Risk): High risks to curse bearer and a considerable risk to  bystanders. Some travel restrictions apply. 
- Blue (Moderate Risk):  Considerable risk to the curse bearer and moderate risk to bystanders.  
- Green (Low Risk): Moderate risk to the curse bearer and low risk to bystanders.
- White (Very low Risk): Low risk to curse bearer low or zero risk to bystanders.
- Grey (No Risk): Danger level null. 
(Notes: Ratings are based primarily on the risk Curses pose to bystanders with the Curse bearer being a secondary consideration. The more bystanders considered at risk, the higher the rating. 
Statistics: Percentage approximations. Amount of populous with specific Curse ratings:
- Grey 2% (a rating usually reserved for the rare Curseless individual)
- Green- 40% Blue- 30% White- 10% (most Innocuous Curses would have these ratings) 
- Yellow -10%, Orange - 6%, Red- 2% (Restricted and dangerous Curses. Bad Luck curses would usually get this sort of rating)  
- Black .001% (astronomically rare)
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Finishing this program and looking over basic stats (Thanks, fitbit, and my compulsive record keeping.  Spreadsheets were good naturedly in my wedding vows.   Not kidding.  He’s still ok with it. ;) ).  Every time I finish a program I find myself self reflecting.
Started late May of 2020, and have logged 197 workouts (everything all together.  Strength training, running, crossrope, etc.).  197 times of choosing health.  197 times of pushing play.  
Let’s be real, though.  I also have notes such as “date:  tortilla chips and snow” with no workout logged. ;)  And injuries.  And flu bugs.  And crazy preschooler.  Things pop up to get in the way.  That’s inevitable.  I just try to take it as it comes.  And do what I can.  When we went to Sunriver I was in the middle of P90x3, so I just ran and did basic push ups and ab exercises.  And I ate delicious hot dogs and ice cream.  Balance.  Vacation.  Rest.
I lost 40 pounds.  And I don’t know how many inches.  (Those are logged, too, but I’m too lazy in this moment to do the math.)
I went from lifting 5 - 10lb dumbbells to lifting 15 - 25lb dumbbells (depending on exercise.)  I can run between 3 and 7 miles without stopping (I could run maybe one when I started.)  (Increasing this is in my top list of fitness goals this year.)  
The habits I’m most proud of include:  giving up the daily (DAILY) sugar laden, high calorie latte and pastry (seriously every day) and moving to a cold brew with no added sugar; consistently waking up at about 4:45am to prioritize workouts; dialing in nutrition; allowing myself treats in moderation (election night Oreo incident was not necessarily a treat, but I do feel it was ... necessary).
The habit I’m still struggling with is a nightly splash of wine, and I’m struggling with it because I know your body works on burning that first before burning other things.  (Splash = 2-3 ounces.  I measured once.  OF course I measured.)  I’m currently experimenting with behavior approximation / steps of drinking a La Croix slowly as I make dinner and through dinner.  After dinner I don’t want a splash.  It’s very odd.  Just when I cook and sit down to eat.  I’m also considering drinking hot lemon water while I cook.  (If I engage in healthy behaviors first, I know for myself I get in a mindset of not wanting to undo my hard work.)
I think what makes the difference are a few things.  Consistency over a long period of time (when it’s a lifestyle change, momentary blips mean less.  If it’s viewed in the context of a 90 day program only, momentary blips are probably going to feel catastrophic.)  Nutrition (changing something.  It’s complicated, but calorie deficits are usually needed to lose weight.)  Grace / self compassion / viewing this as doing something for yourself instead of punishing yourself (although I’ve had a few leg days that felt like torture.)
Goals for 2021:  Increase running mileage (when all this snow melts.  Yeesh.).  Continue to increase weights.  Continue to up pull up numbers.   As I feel safe to do so, consider joining a Crossfit gym.  
Anyway.  Tl;dr - Onward.
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sou-ver-2-0 · 3 years
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Maybe I'm thinking too much about the Persona games today, but are there any characters that you would pair any tarot arcana with?
What a fun question! I think that tarot cards have like, the coolest aesthetic ever. Unfortunately, I don’t know much about tarot arcana, so I went on a deep dive into Wikipedia to try to understand it. I’ll apologize in advance that A. E. Waith’s definitions for these cards feel very heteronormative. I’m working with the traditional definitions, but I try to make them work for a modern story.
Here are the character-card combinations I came up with:
0 – The Fool: Folly, mania, extravagance, intoxication, delirium, frenzy, bewrayment. [If the card is] Reversed: Negligence, absence, distribution, carelessness, apathy, nullity, vanity.
Joe Tazuna
Joe Tazuna is our gaudy, “extravagant” fool! The fool represents the “everyman,” and is often the “protagonist of the story” in Major Arcana. Joe, who is good-natured and clumsy, has the type of personality you’d expect to see in a story’s protagonist. Ironically, he is one of the first to die. His “absence” is deeply felt by our real protagonist, Sara, who must go on the “Fool’s Journey” “through the great mysteries of life and the main human archetypes” without him.
1 – The Magician: Skill, diplomacy, address, subtlety, pain, loss, disaster, snares of enemies; self-confidence, will; [it signifies] the Querent, if male. Reversed: Physician, mental disease, disgrace, disquiet.
Reko Yabusame
Reko is our “skilled,” “confident,” strong-willed musician magician! (And she often uses masculine pronouns, so why not give her a masculine card?) Reko has also suffered through “pain, loss, and disaster,” which has shaped her current mature, kind personality. And in the past, she was a “disgraced” rebellious rock star who burned through bands.
2 – The High Priestess: Secrets, mystery, the future as yet unrevealed; the woman who interests the Querent, if male; the Querent herself, if female; silence, tenacity; mystery, wisdom, science. Reversed: Passion, moral or physical ardor, conceit, surface knowledge.
Tia Safalin and Maple
This card made me think of both villainous ladies. Tia Safalin has knowledge of science, while Maple seems to also have mysterious wisdom about human nature and the future.
3 – The Empress: Fruitfulness, action, initiative, length of days; the unknown, clandestine; also difficulty, doubt, ignorance. Reversed: Light, truth, the unraveling of involved matters, public rejoicings; according to another reading, vacillation.
Sara Chidouin
The Empress can only be our Sara! The girl who takes “initiative” and becomes the group’s leader! She seeks to bring “light” and “truth” to discussions, and she “unravels mysteries.” And yet, she also suffers from “doubt” in herself, and “ignorance” of her surroundings.
4 – The Emperor: Stability, power, protection, realization; a great person; aid, reason, conviction also authority and will. Reversed: Benevolence, compassion, credit; also confusion to enemies, obstruction, immaturity.
Mr. Chidouin
We don’t know much about Mr. Chidouin, and I do not trust him one bit. However, he seemed to be a suitable companion to his “Empress” daughter. Kai Satou certainly thought he was “a great” and “benevolent” person, though he has an “immature” way of speaking.
5 – The Hierophant: Marriage, alliance, captivity, servitude; by another account, mercy, and goodness; inspiration; the man to whom the Querent has recourse. Reversed: Society, good understanding, concord, over kindness, weakness.
Kai Satou
The words “servitude” and “captivity” suit our homemaker Kai, who always lived in service to others—either Asu-Naro or the Chidouins. Kai is a “good” man, but he is also shown to be one of the “weakest” participants since he dies early on.
6 – The Lovers: Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome. Reversed: Failure, foolish designs. Another account speaks of marriage frustrated and contrarieties of all kinds.
Nao Egokoro
I know that Nao’s story doesn’t have much romance in it, but I liked the duality of “trials overcome” combined with “failure” and “foolish designs” for our poor, brave Nao. She is a girl who grew a lot, and her heart was overflowing with love for her new friends, but in the end she was doomed to failure with the Sacrifice Card.
7 – The Chariot: Succour, providence; also war, triumph, presumption, vengeance, trouble. Reversed: Riot, quarrel, dispute, litigation, defeat.
Alice Yabusame
So many aggressive words in that description made me think of our “Murderer,” Alice! Alice was “triumphant” in his last fight with Original Sou, but he can be “defeated” by Rio Ranger.
8 or 11 – Justice: Equity, rightness, probity, executive; triumph of the deserving side in law. Reversed: Law in all its departments, legal complications, bigotry, bias, excessive severity.
Keiji
Of course I had to give “Justice” to everyone’s favorite self-proclaimed policeman, Keiji! Keiji lays down the law in our group, and don’t we all hope he’ll favor the “deserving side” instead of showing “excessive severity.”
9 – The Hermit: Prudence, circumspection; also and especially treason, dissimulation, roguery, corruption. Reversed: Concealment, disguise, policy fear, unreasoned caution.
Rio Ranger
“The Hermit” feels like a strange card to give to our childish doll villain, but I liked the descriptive words associated with “corruption” and “policy fear.” Rio Ranger commits “treason” by directly killing a participant, and he also “conceals and disguises” himself with masks and other people’s clothes.
10 – Wheel of Fortune: Destiny, fortune, success, elevation, luck, felicity. Reversed: Increase, abundance, superfluity.
Sue Miley
Sue Miley is the villain who introduces us to our destiny with the Practice Vote and the First Main Game. She sadistically wishes everyone “luck.”
8 or 11 – Strength: Power, energy, action, courage, magnanimity; also complete success and honours. Reversed: Despotism, abuse of power, weakness, discord, sometimes even disgrace.
Q-Taro
Q-Taro suits “strength” perfectly! His character arc is all about learning what true strength is. He begins the game from a place of cowardice and selfishness, but he becomes courageous and honorable.
12 – The Hanged Man: Wisdom, circumspection, discernment, trials, sacrifice, intuition, divination, prophecy. Reversed: Selfishness, the crowd, body politic.
Shin Tsukimi
How could my favorite doomed antagonist have any other card but “The Hanged Man”? Shin is cursed from the beginning of the game with a “prophecy” that he will die. He relies on “intuition” more often than logic and he can be very “selfish,” but he is also “wise” enough to want to protect the most vulnerable among them, leading to his “sacrifice.”
13 – Death: End, mortality, destruction, corruption; also, for a man, the loss of a benefactor; for a woman, many contrarieties; for a maid, failure of marriage projects. Reversed: Inertia, sleep, lethargy, petrifaction, somnambulism; hope destroyed.
Ranmaru Kageyama
I liked the card “death” for our main dummy Ranmaru, who has died and transformed. The words associated with “sleep” and “lethargy” also reminded me of his final moments, where he commented that death felt like going to sleep.
14 – Temperance: Economy, moderation, frugality, management, accommodation. Reversed: Things connected with churches, religions, sects, the priesthood, sometimes even the priest who will marry Querent; also disunion, unfortunate combinations, competing interests.
Kazumi Mishima
“Temperance” sounded like a good card for a wise character who lives in “moderation.” Mishima was cursed with an “unfortunate combination” of votes in the Practice Vote.
15 – The Devil: Ravage, violence, vehemence, extraordinary efforts, force, fatality; that which is predestined but is not for this reason evil. Reversed: Evil fatality, weakness, pettiness, blindness.
Original Sou Hiyori
“The Devil” is the most perfect card for my favorite villain! He is “violent” and goes to “extraordinary efforts” to manipulate the participants, but he has also suffered a “fatality.” I thought the phrase “predestined but is not for this reason evil” was especially intriguing for Original Sou, since I often wonder how much free will he could exercise within Asu-Naro.
16 – The Tower: Misery, distress, indigence, adversity, calamity, disgrace, deception, ruin. It is a card in particular of unforeseen catastrophe. Reversed: Negligence, absence, distribution, carelessness, apathy, nullity, vanity.
Gashu Satou
Gashu brings a terrible “unforeseen catastrophe” in the Second Main Game, when he would rather kill himself then give our characters a chance to escape! He is undoubtedly the best character for “The Tower.”
17 – The Star: Loss, theft, privation, abandonment; another reading says--hope bright prospects, Reversed: Arrogance, haughtiness, impotence.
Kanna Kizuchi
Kanna has suffered “loss” and she may be “abandoned” by the people she loves. However, her survival also brings “hope” and “bright prospects” in spite of the Death Game’s cruelty.
18 – The Moon: Hidden enemies, danger, calumny, darkness, terror, deception, occult forces, error. Reversed: Instability, inconstancy, silence, lesser degrees of deception and error.
The Dummies
The words related to “hidden enemies” in the “darkness” reminded me of our dummies, who are tasked with killing the human participants.
19 – The Sun: This card is generally considered positive. It is said to reflect happiness and contentment, vitality, self-confidence and success. Sometimes referred to as the best card in Tarot, it represents good things and positive outcomes to current struggles.
Gin Ibushi
Gin Ibushi is a light in our lives who brings Sara emotional comfort! In spite of having no tokens to defend himself in trades, nobody sent him the Sacrifice Card, which is a wonderful thing.
20 – Judgment: Judgement, Rebirth, Inner-calling, Absolution, Karma, Causality, Second chance
The Man from the Memorandum
The Man from the Memorandum, the winner of the Previous Death Game, seems to be the Mastermind of a new Death Game and is calling for a “second chance” for the High School Girl to survive. He pronounces judgment on every victim.
(It’s entirely possible that the Man from the Memorandum is Mr. Chidouin himself, which would make my distinguishing between them silly in hindsight! For now, I’ll assume they’re different people.)
21 – The World: Assured success, recompense, voyage, route, emigration, flight, change of place. Reversed: Inertia, fixity, stagnation, permanence.
The 17-Year-Old School Girl
Is 15.5% enough to “assure the success” of the High School Girl? Is that enough to “change her place” from dying in the First Death Game? Or will she be “permanently” dead? The entire “world” of the Death Game seems to hinge on this critical role!
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The emperor has to be god-king Andy. Also like since nicky and Joe obv have to have the lovers why not have andy and quyhn kissing as the empress.
Another related ask (potentially by the same person):
Also since the fool is a journey's beginning I'd almost want to pick Nile for it. As well there are four characters who commonly have swords (or an axe but close enough) and cards have four corners. So one sword each corner, nicky, joe, andy, and quyhn.
So. Someone has good ideas. Here’s the post that prompted these asks. This made me pull out my tarot deck and go through the cards. Below the cut is a break down of the entire tarot deck. There will be an explanation of the (standard) interpretation of the cards, good then less good, and then my associated headcannon (or more than one if I couldn’t decide). The source is my experience with tarot. I’m trying to minimize repeats, but historic and modern Old Guard members are counted separately. Enjoy.
The Major Arcana (aka the cards most people have heard about)
0. The Fool - the seeker. Naivety. Courage. Living in the moment. Journey’s beginning. All paths available. Folly. Apathy.
Nile. Anon convinced me. Though Booker has got the folly, apathy, and madness down, Nile is ultimately the beginning. She’s naïve but headstrong, and quite frankly a perfect match.
I. The Magician - the trickster. Power, skill, talent. Mastery, self-control, willpower. Subtlety. Divine connection and inspiration. Self-reliant.
Modern Nicky. Definitely Nicky. Just. He’s a formerly very religious man who just says these things. Also sniper.
II. The High Priestess - the moon goddess. Intuition, wisdom, foresight, divination, prophecy. Enlightenment, understanding, intelligence, education. Pride, emotional instability, unforgiving.
Historic Quynh. Her name means “night-blooming flower”, which is very moon goddess vibes to me. Also, I’d say over 500 years in a box turns understanding and enlightenment into emotional instability and unforgiveness.
III. The Empress - the queen. Feminine power, matriarch, mother. Fertility, pleasure, beauty. Success, evolution, movement. Marriage, wealth. Overattachment, domestic upheaval, delay.
Quynh. The counterpart to Andy’s emperor card.
Nile. Let’s be honest, she’s going to take over from Andy some day.
IV. The Emperor - the king. Masculine power, patriarch, father. Authority, leadership, proficiency. Wealth, stability, effectiveness. Perseverance, logic, endurance, experience. Lack of ability, weak character, immature, rebellious.
Modern Andy. She is the leader who’s short-comings effect her entire team. And who doesn’t love a little gender bending? (and her film look is already soft butch)
V. The Hierophant - the religious leader. Tradition, convention, ritual symbolism. Ceremony, religion, morality, philosophy. Mercy, goodness, forgiveness, humility, vulnerability, Impotence, Religious tyranny.
Historic Nicky. I mean, former priest (enough said).
Historic Andy. “I was once worshipped as a god” (enough said).
VI. The Lovers - the lovers. Love, attraction. Compatibility, harmony, choice.  Triumph over trials, vacillation. Entanglement, enmeshment. Infidelity, moral lapse, vice, separation, quarrels, inadequacy, failing tests.
Andromaquynh. *peeks out from behind barricade* I know that most people would just put Kaysanova as this card, but look at all the negatives it is associated with. Sounds a lot more like our immortal wives can really cover the gamut. They have the range....I am a sucker for Kaysanova, though. Even though the beginning of their relationship is rocky, I’d like to think it’s been fairly constant over the years. But let’s reverse the uhaul lesbians and fickle gay men tropes! Sorry, Book of Nile fans. That ship just isn’t established enough for this, I’d say. Maybe one day?
VII. The Chariot - the journey. Ordeal, obstacles, competition. High stakes, ambition, discipline. Conquest, victory, greatness. Right action prevails, overwhelming odds, sudden defeat.
Merrick and/or Dr. Kozak. I mean, this is literally their characters in a nutshell. Merrick is the journey/ordeal for the old guard. He is driven by his ambition, thinks he’s won over impossible odds, and then has a sudden defeat.
VIII. Justice - the balance. Equilibrium, equality, symmetry, harmony. Integrity, honor, fairness, neutrality, moderation. Vindication, self-righteousness, bigotry, prejudice, favoritism.
Nile. This is the woman with a sword card. She brings a balance to the team, she clearly moderates conflict, and I’d love to see BLM art of her in this style. Just sayin.
IX. The Hermit - the seeker-sage. Wisdom, inspiration, contemplation, discretion, understanding. Safety, protection, spiritual quest. Seeking truth and justice. Self-denial, timidity, fear.
Historic Joe. The idealized warrior poet? Definitely just a form of the hermit. Helps explain why a Magrebhi trader/artist fought at the Siege of Jerusalem: spiritual quest. I also like the idea of Joe having a secret reserved side.
X. The Wheel of Fortune - cycles of life. Destiney, evolution and progress, advancement. Manifestation, unexpected events. Success, sudden luck. Ups and downs.
Modern Quynh. There is nothing that better encapsulates her storyline than the wheel of fortune. One day you’re roaming the world with your immortal wife. The next, you’re drowning for over 500 years. The next you’re in Booker’s shitty Paris apartment.
XI. Strength - fortitude. Resilience, courage, resolve, confidence. Integrity, moral victory, endurance. Energy, action, vitality. Power, force, violence. Abuse of power, disgrace, impotence.
Lykon. Do I love this character beyong measure and reason? Maybe so. We have so little to go on about him, however, that the only things we do know bely his strengths. Also, he becomes ultimately the weakest when he dies and encapsulates both “extremes” of the card.
XII. The Hanged Man - the tested. Delay, sacrifice, abandonment, rejection. Betrayal. Reversals, restrained or bound, limbo, trials. Falseness.
Booker. If the fact that his first death was by hanging didn’t convince you? Read that description again. His character arc is literally working through being the hanged man.
XIII. Death - the loss or parting. Alteration, transformation, transition. Boredom, depression, stagnation, failure or disaster. Bereavement, recovery, immobility.
Lykon. He literally represents the fear of death to the remaining immortals. It is HE that they invoke when they discuss it. Also, I’m still mourning my favorite underdeveloped character.
XIV. Temperance - the moderation. Self-control, economy, patience, coordination. Consolidation, harmony, friendship, recuperation. Unfulfilled desires, discord, stubbornness, hostility, clashing of interests. Time, seasons, and climate.
A Safehouse. I don’t think any of the people really capture the tempered essence of this card, the constancy throughout all seasons of life. An actual physical building that rises and falls with (regular) humanity, though, seems to do the trick.
XV. The Devil - the arcane. Magic, strange occurrences, prophecy, fate. Catastrophe, downfall, negative attitude, Temptations, sins, obsessions. Enslavement, bondage, misplaced loyalty, violence, fatality.
Honestly? I’m so torn. I feel like a major commentary of the movie is that our demons are the way people react more so than the people themselves. Maybe the armored van?
XVI. The Tower - the House of God. Disruption, expulsion from an earthly paradise, divine wrath. Punishment (of pride), loss, destructive rivalry, plans ruined. Need to start again, bankruptcy.
The Iron Coffin. While this doesn’t capture the religious undertones quite right, the coffin is the Tower for Andromaquynh, It is (divine? or very human?) wrath brought on by pride since the two probably thought that they would be fine. It is loss and painful new beginnings.
XVII. The Star - the bright promise. Hope, faith, light of the spirit. Recovery, symbols of immortality. Gifts, good prospects, new dawn, frustrated expectations.
Nile. The new immortal, enough said.
Historic Andy/Lykon. In a way, the first immortal would also be a great choice of representation.
XVIII, The Moon - the hidden forces. Twilight, illusion, deception, trickery. Dishonesty, danger, uncertainty, terror. Developments, particularly somewhat concealed. Errors, powerful feelings.
Copley. I know, I know. “He’s the moon when I’m lost in darkness” and all that jazz. But look at this card’s interpretation and notice it’s pretty negative. Copley’s entire role is to pull the strings behind the scenes. He makes headway on problems in secrets, he lies and deceives everyone in the film at some point.
XIX. The Sun - the work’s rewards. Daylight, co-creation, union “of male and female”. Peace, joy, pleasure, love, contentment. Accomplishment, achievement, success. 
Joe. Not only is he the sun, he also fits this card perfectly. He is creation and happiness. Enough said.
XX Judgement - the rebirth. Judgement, sentence. Rejuvenation, renewal, resurrection, call to the new from the old, rehabilitation. Creation, promotion.
Historic Booker. I feel like his backstory with his family helped highlight the theme of rebirth for the Old Guard. They must be willing to give up what they have left behind to move forward. Also, there’s the more literal play as well since Booker was a conscripted criminal.
XXI The World - the long journey. Perfection, completion, conclusion. Power through intelligence and wisdom. The universe and the material world.
A group photo, of course! Beyond that? Who knows.
Historic Andy? She’s seen so much of it. Like just her eyes portray the history of the world.
The Minor Arcana (aka the rest of the cards)
Since most people are only familiar with the major arcana,  I’ll just briefly explain it. The minor arcana are actually the majority of a tarot deck. There are four suits associated with the four elements. Each suit has ten number cards and four court/face cards (traditionally modelled either based on one person or different interpretations of similar costuming). Each number or face has its own meaning, each suit has its own meaning, and their combination mostly explains what the card should be interpreted as. Quite frankly, the minor arcana are vastly underrated in popular understandings of tarot.
Suit of Wands - fire. Spontaneity, action, passion, adrenaline, life force, stroke of genius.
Guns? It’d be a bit of a niche take, but I associate guns with fires.
Staffs? More traditional in shape.
Suit of Coins - earth. Solid growth, material interests, possessions, profit, business, labor, slow and considerate.
Historic currency. Enough said.
Suit of Cups - water. Heartfelt involvements, imagination, spirituality, love, friendship, family.
Fountains around the world. Enough said.
Suit of Swords - air. Worry, trouble, boundaries, objectivity, the power of truth.
Obviously, their weapons of choice. I would go into more detail about who best represents each number, but I don’t want to bore you.
Court of Kings - mature men. Leaders, authority, status-quo, taking responsibility.
Again, most tarot is very gendered. But members in tuxes?
Court of Queens - mature women. Reflective and active, concerned with security/foundations, supportive, focused.
Members in dresses/gowns/anything that glitters?
Court of Knights/Cavaliers - young men. Dynamic, adventurous, intensive, revolutionary.
Tactical gear. Or historical armor. But it’s easier to do tactical gear right than accidentally draw a 15th century helmet on a 14th century suit of armor.
Court of Knaves/Pages - younger women, teenagers, and children. Students, apprentices, trainees, messengers, new opportunities.
Casual clothes.
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danielnelsen · 4 years
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Catastrophic Fire Danger in Sydney, Tuesday 12th Nov 2019
For anyone in Sydney, please be safe over the next day or so. The bushfire danger warning level is CATASTROPHIC, which is the highest level we have, and this applies to the entire Greater Sydney region, as well as a few other parts of the state.
All information is from the RFS website, go there for more details and up-to-date information.
The NSW Rural Fire Service’s description of the CATASTROPHIC level is:
For your survival, leaving early is the only option.
Leave bush fire prone areas the night before or early in the day – do not just wait and see what happens.
Make a decision about when you will leave, where you will go, how you will get there and when you will return.
Homes are not designed to withstand fires in catastrophic conditions so you should leave early.
These are the current warnings for New South Wales:
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In case that’s hard to read, the areas rated as ‘catastrophic’ are:
GREATER HUNTER
GREATER SYDNEY REGION
ILLAWARRA/SHOALHAVEN
The warnings for other areas are as follows:
Extreme: North Coast; Southern Ranges; Central Ranges; New England; Northern Slopes; North Western
Severe: Far North Coast; Far South Coast; Monaro Alpine
Very High: ACT; Upper Central West Plains; Lower Central West Plains; Southern Slopes; Southern Riverina; Far Western
High: Eastern Riverina; Northern Riverina; South Western
No areas will be at low-moderate, despite previous estimates that some south-west parts of the state might be.
Below the cut there is information on how to prepare for a bush fire, what to do if you're still home during a bush fire, and a list of the council areas affected by the catastrophic rating.
If your life is at risk, call triple zero (000) as soon as you can.
How do I prepare?
Make a Bush Fire Survival Plan. Do it NOW. TONIGHT. Don’t wait until you’re being told to evacuate. Sit down with your household tonight and plan what you will do tomorrow if things get bad. Nobody thinks it will actually happen to them, but you shouldn’t take that risk. The link takes you to the RFS website where they have a template for making a plan. The steps are as follows:
Discuss what to do if a bush fire threatens your home. The safest choice is to leave early. Discuss with your household:
When will we leave? What will be your sign to leave? It could be smoke in your area, or as soon as you find out there’s a fire near you.
Where will we go? Where’s a meeting place that’s safe and away from a fire area? It might be a friend or relative’s place, or even a shopping centre.
How will we get there? What road will you take? What’s your backup plan in case the road is blocked?
What will we take? Make a list of what you’ll take in the event of a fire. Remember to include pets, identification and irreplaceable items like photos or documents.
Who will we call to tell that we’re leaving and that we have arrived safely?
What is our backup plan? What if things don’t go to plan? Identify a safer location nearby such as a neighbour’s home that is well prepared, or a place of last resort. Is there a Neighbourhood Safer Place nearby?
Prepare your home and get it ready for bush fire season. Things you can do quickly, to prepare for any fires in the next few days, include:
Trim overhanging trees and shrubs. This can stop the fire spreading to your home.
Mow grass and remove the cuttings. Have a cleared area around your home.
Remove material that can burn around your home (e.g., door mats, wood piles, mulch, leaves, paint, outdoor furniture).
Clear and remove all the debris and leaves from the gutters surrounding your home. Burning embers can set your home on fire.
Prepare a sturdy hose or hoses that will reach all around your home. Make sure you’ve got a reliable source of water.
Know the bush fire alert levels.
Keep track of the alert level of nearby fires:
ADVICE: A fire has started. There is no immediate danger. Stay up to date in case the situation changes.
WATCH AND ACT: There is a heightened level of threat. Conditions are changing and you need to start taking action to protect you and your family.
EMERGENCY WARNING: An Emergency Warning is the highest level of Bush Fire Alert. You may be in danger and need to take action immediately. Any delay now puts your life at risk.
Know your fire danger rating (listed for the areas of NSW at the start of this post):
SEVERE: You should only stay if your home is well prepared and you’re ready to defend it.
EXTREME: Only stay if your home is prepared to the very highest level and is specially built to survive a bush fire.
CATASTROPHIC: As bad as it gets. No homes are built to withstand a fire in these conditions. Leaving early is your only safe option.
Keep all the bush fire information numbers, websites, and the smart phone app.
In an emergency call Triple Zero (000).
For information on bush fires, call the Bush Fire Information Line: 1800 NSW RFS (1800 676 737)
NSW RFS website. Fire Danger Ratings.
You can download the ‘Fires Near Me’ smartphone app for free.
Local radio, local ABC/emergency broadcaster frequency, TV, newspapers.
You can also find updates from the RFS on Facebook and Twitter.
What do I do if there is a fire and I don’t/can’t leave?
[Text is from the RFS website] Particularly if you are in a catastrophic zone, you should leave as soon as you know a fire is coming. Some people do stay home and fight, but that’s a big risk to take. There is more information in the survival plan template, linked above, but here are some of the basics:
Before the fire:
Put on your protective clothing
Turn on the radio to keep yourself informed
Bring pets inside and keep them in one room
Close all windows and doors
Block spaces beneath doors and windows with wet towels
Fill buckets, sinks, and bath tubs with water ready to put out spot fires
Have your firefighting equipment like pumps and hoses connected to your water supply
Block downpipes and fill gutters with water
Remove items which can burn from around your home like outdoor furniture
Bring ladders inside to check roof space for embers
Patrol the outside of your home putting out any embers or spot fires
Just before the fire arrives, wet down timber decks and gardens close to the house
Move any firefighting equipment to a place where it will not get burnt
During the fire:
Go inside but stay alert
Shelter in a room on the opposite side of the house from the approaching fire and one that has a clear exit out of the house
Patrol inside the house, including the roof space looking for sparks and embers
Protect yourself from the heat of the fire
If your life is at risk, call triple zero (000)
Once the fire has passed:
Check your roof spaces
Go outside and put out any part of your house which is alight
Check under the house and any decks
Check on your pets and animals
Embers or sparks can start spot fires for many hours after the fire has passed
If you can, contact your family and friends and check on your neighbours
Am I in danger?
The following council areas are affected by the catastrophic danger level (listed alphabetically):
Bayside; Blacktown; Blue Mountains; Burwood
Camden; Campbelltown; Canada Bay; Canterbury-Bankstown; Central Coast; Cessnock; Cumberland
Dungog
Fairfield
Georges River
Hawkesbury; The Hills; Hornsby; Hunters Hill
Inner West
Kiama; Kogarah; Ku-ring-gai
Lake Macquarie; Lane Cove; Liverpool
Maitland; Mosman; Muswellbrook
Newcastle; Northern Beaches; North Sydney
Parramatta; Penrith; Port Stephens
Randwick; Ryde
Shellharbour; Shoalhaven; Singleton; Strathfield; Sutherland; Sydney
Upper Hunter
Waverley; Willoughby; Wingecarribee; Wollondilly; Wollongong; Woollahra
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ajaxctrl · 4 years
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static space lover — oikawa tooru [the kissing booth reference]
track 01: helena beat
A/n: I'm planning to mix in with a little more written parts since writing is fun as well haha. The socmed part will kick in soon!
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Hi. The name's y/n l/n. Classic run-of-the-mill partially pretty junior high schooler who apparently is one of those from the 'normal' section of high school popularity. Fairly normal life. Fairly normal group of friends — ah, how about I rephrase that one? Moderately normal group of friends. Yup. That sounds about right.
I'm best best friends with your resident blond, Atsumu Miya, basically since diapers. Same interests. Same amount of brain cells. Same foolish agenda. We have matching nintendo switches. We have matching marvel jerseys. Our families are like one and two. We were inseparable.
He's my go-to person. Partner in crime? Nah, far too cliche for my liking. He's probably the only jerk I could stand. And...here goes his twin, aka Atsumu Miya with a brain, Osamu. If our friendship is in question, we aren't that 'intimate' safe to say. More like acquaintances divided between a distinct gray line — maybe because Osamu Miya is far too close with a certain Oikawa Tooru — their older step brother. By 'close', I mean 'dissing Atsumu and y/n from a corner' close.
Oikawa Tooru. If one were to give me the chance to describe this idiot...I'd answer handsome right away beyond doubt. That is, if my hormones were speaking for me. But all in all, Tooru is just an evil, conniving jerk who would slam a volleyball right at your face if you even so much as think as pissing him off. Keyword: think.
Jokes on you. This jerk has been my childhood crush ever since and I'm not even denying it. Sucks to be me alright. But anyhow, life seems fine and is going pretty smoothly. No setbacks nor heavy burdens so far—
Yeah, about that, it seemed like fate jinxed it.
"Why the fuck do these stupid slacks need to rip out exactly when I don't need them to! Ugh! Kill me already!"
Growing bit by bit isn't exactly my strong suit. First year fresh from middle school then to my last year in junior high — wow, girls indeed grow the most speedy. Right. Then here are my fresh black slacks tearing off out of my butt on my very first day after summer break. And the only back-ups I got are ones from my first year.
Fate has favorites and I'm not on the list.
"Jesus, y/n, really?" Atsumu, in all his annoying glory, flashed his default hideously smug smirk as he grips on his tesla's steering wheel.
"What? My slacks ripped! You wanna stare at my strawberry cheesecake undies all day, Miya?" In a slightly irritated look, I challenged.
"What about your back ups?"
"These are my back ups!"
Stockman High, unlike y/n l/n, isn't your dime a dozen high school. It isn't one of those academic-centered high schools all about elitism and educational pressure. I, for one, can say that Stockman is particularly like those from your usual netflix teenage romance trope — it's fun.
"If the last season of How to Get Away with Murder doesn't come out this month, I will and I swear, cancel my netflix subscription right off the bat."
"As if. Alex Strangelove is far too temptin' for ya. Ya ain't gonna survive a day without netflix."
"Try me, 'Tsumu!"
"Yeah yeah. Hop out already!"
Today seemed pretty normal. Your conventional high school post-summer break day at Stockman with no troubles so far.
"What in the world — is that y/n l/n?"
"Oh my god, you go girl."
"What is she? From middle school?"
Why the fuck does this have to happen now.
"Tsumu! Why is everyone — and if I say everyone, I mean the whole Stockman High populace, is looking at us like we grew out a second head???"
"If ya say 'us', it's particularly just you, y/n. Nice ass."
"Fuck you. Come behind me 'Tsumu! I hate it here."
"Hmm. Gladly."
Basically everyone's eyes were ogling at me and it's probably too early to say that post-summer break is doing 'fine' 'with no troubles'. At least I attached a 'so far' at the very end, regarded as certain.
How could this day get any worse? Not so much, right?
"Terushima! What the hell?!"
Great. The other blond jerk from the football team just touched my butt. Really great.
"Just measured your bum size, y/n. No hard feeli—"
And so chaos ensues. "Yuuji. I swear to god you say another fucking word I'll bust your face right this instant." Atsumu fitfully challenges with pride and glory. Anger seething from his core
I gripped on his arm, attempting to stop the trade of punches from getting any more catastrophic, and yet...fate really had favorites. y/n l/n, unfortunately but not surprisingly, is not one of them.
Oikawa fucking Tooru just had to butt in throwing his stupid ball at Terushima Yuuji. Hitting the blond with force stronger than what shall we believe constitutes the highest degree of 'strong'. And that added salt to injury.
"Tooru! No! No! It's alright! You can stop now!"
Yet nada, he wasn't listening. He beat the guy to a pulp. Lip busted violet beat, almond orbs almost unobtrusive. Tooru just beat Yuuji like how he hits his killer serves and it terrifies me to no end.
"Why does my brother always have t'make a hideous example for the citizens of America..." Says Atsumu.
I strained to grab Tooru's shoulders and pull him away but he was to fixated on landing a punch on the other guy, it deemed as if the very world around him faded like canvas.
"Yes, alright Oikawa, that's enough. Get off of Terushima. We have a long day ahead of us." Very early, the principal butted in at last minute, fortunately snapping Tooru from his punching spree and violent daze. "You three! My office!"
"Why do I have to go!?"
Great. No troubles so far alright.
-
"Great going Tooru, fantastic." I rolled my eyes, flashing him one last glare before I close my [eye color] orbs in immediate stress, not the slightest bit amused of the events unfolding right this very day.
"No one has the right to treat girls like that, y/n. Especially if that girl has to be you." Tooru mumbled under his breath, pouting as he fiddles with his phone, the senior high school uniform polo almost dry from faint sweat.
If that girl has to be you. All in good time, on the face of it, there is no good time, Tooru's eyes see me as his little sister. Nothing more nothing less. Just his baby sister. The plus one in the family tree. His normal childhood acquaintance.
"Really, Tooru? Me?"
Our eyes met. His molten chocolate ones falling on mine. His plump lips folded into a thin line. Sweat trickling down his forehead. Finally, the words I've expected for years come rolling out from his tongue. "Yeah. You're my little sister after all." And so he threw his head back upfront. Not caring for the slightest.
"Afraid so." I heaved out a sigh. Disappointed mood cascading my gut.
"Y'know, y/n-chan~ if you didn't just wear that skirt right now, we shouldn't be having this conversation."
I can't believe this guy. "Really Tooru? You're going beyond that line?"
He ran a hand through his hair, moaning in disbelief as he then pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just wrap my jacket around your waist for the whole day, y/n. Don't fight me."
Huh. Oikawa Tooru isn't that bad.
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Masterlist | Previous • next.
— HERE COMES your generic high school sweethearts tale wherein y/n has to deal with her prolonged admiration for a certain oikawa tooru — who apparently is her childhood crush since diapers. so the story goes, atsumu miya, tooru's stepbrother, has every say in it.
TAGLIST: (send an ask)
@virtualshoujoanimeartmaker @weisztineo @ccccprej-blog @kiralovesyoongi @elesiatargaryen2 @elsword-euronoia @athenabelserion @tsukishukkie @danariceelliot @malariatyrell @miravonzachary @minaminapark @missusmustang @dimariashermes @moonprismpowerfilo @chichikagari @reinayamamoto @starstruckshouyou @denkiyeee @roaringcrows
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